#Constantly use magic
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It wasnt with any instance in mind specifically but i have seen some great mhyk cisbends actually. And i love the idea of fem arthur! I hadnt considered faust or heathcliffe but im on board now! I saw a tweet once that said mithra should grow boobs in tiletta's honor and i support that... i suppose the post was made with enstars in mind cuz ive been thinking about cis girl izumi lately (he's nonbinary to me in canon but i think his rship with his mom in portrait wouldve been sooo interesting with the added layer of daughters turning into their mothers... im also fond of hetbending loiz but for it to be no different whatsoever from their canon rship. But i also think iz-mk-lo would be interesting had they All been girls...)
But i also think transgenderism in wizard world would be interesting to explore, not just imagining what if they had been cis girls. I wonder if trans humans resent wizards for having the ability to transform themselves... or if, like with curseworkers or doctors, there are wizards who specialize in giving humans hrt potions and surgeries. In a world where murr was into medicine he wouldve brought hrt to humans so they wouldnt have to rely on wizards...
mithra SHOULD have boobs in tiletta's honor tbh. In my mind, cisbent mithra would go from wearing no bras because she dgaf to wearing pushup bras as a way to carry on tiletta's legacy.
Also NONBINARY IZUMI TRUTHER, I SHAKE YOUR HANDS
Izumakoleo as all girls...omg your mind....we could have the best yuri how did no one else think of this. As expected of the president o7 i salute
And now onto wizard genders: we do know of a few wizards with funky gender in canon. They can use magic to shapeshift after all. Here are a few i can think of at the top of my head. Spoilers for ms2 for everyone else but i'm sure you don't mind lol
Figaro mentions having a friend that is born a wizard, shapeshifted into a witch and stayed like that, even ended up carrying a baby to term and giving birth
There's a western witch who presents exclusively as a wizard in front of humans in ms2. I never even thought about how human-wizard dynamics might affect genderfluidity but that sure is interesting
Rustica has been a transguy to me since reading ms2. Idk if i am the only one interpreting it as that but i swear there's a part i read as him having been a western princess. Because of that i like to imagine/headcanon chloe is also a trans guy and kept the feminine name rustica style.
Figaro, man. Figgy is just. SO painfully transfem like omggggg. Besides being so Eldest Daughter™️ coded in northfam, the ridiculous amount of times he's been like "btw if anyone wants to see me as a beautiful woman pls let me know" girl do YOU want to be a beautiful woman??? It's definitely in character for fifi to be a certain way and then try as hard as possible to hide it, perhaps even lying to oneself about one's true nature.
#There's also the fact that shapeshifting requires extra magic that needs to be kept up constantly. So like shapeshifters aren't like a-#blank canvas that can reset at any time and then paint a new picture everytime#more like there's one original picture but you can paint over the glass frame and wipe that and repeat as often as you'd like but the-#original is still there#And that leaves two possibilites for trans wizards#Constantly use magic#Or use altering surgery that changes your original body. Basically same as humans.#I would not want to have surgery in mhyk world ngl.#I keep thinking about alec losing an arm in war...accurate btw amputations were REALLY common back then#Before disinfectants and antibiotics were a thing#Better have no limbs than rotting limbs#What was i talking about again#Oh yeah wizard gender#Moral of the story: big tiddie mithra. Thank you.
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Jason “my family doesn’t know im alive” Todd and Danny “my family doesn’t know I’m dead” Fenton going alongside each of their plans my beloved. like Danny will absolutely go head-to-head with all of Gotham to support his new best friend on all his crime lord endeavors while he drags Jason to also attend collage with him. They are roommates and there never seems to a mention of family from either side. It’s an unspoken understanding they have. They met because Crime alley as a ghost lair thrummed with so much loneliness, it was at first the perfect place for Danny to hide his ecto signature in. But then he saw the dumbass whose lair it was lean his motorcycle just a tad too much when making a sharp turn to an alley, he sweeped the floor through a lifted chain link that passed his body but not his helmet. Yep that’s right the red thing got stuck. Danny who at the moment happened to be watching through his window snorted. Much to his horror because if not a ghost that dude could’ve gotten his head flung off.
Still, the scene was ridiculous.
On a whim he irrationally sees the police closing in on the guy and panicked at the thought of the guy using intangibility to free himself so Danny phased them both through his apartment wall and left the guy sprawled in his couch. Jason didn’t freak out but that’s normal when one’s got a concussion, one the guy immediately denied having as Danny laid out the medical supplies. The idiot proceeded to almost flatten four steps to the door with his stubbornness. He also said “I’m asexual” in the most deadpan voice as Danny dropped him back in the couch.
Danny sighed. Clearly though, he’d done so too early in the night because the guy kept trying to go, kept trying to knock Danny out, kept trying to slash him with knifes Danny didn’t know he had stashed. He’d only disarmed the guy from his guns. The visible ones apparently, cause at one point the guy did take out a gun and shoot until the ammo ran out and then teetered the thing like it was an art prop and hit his moon lamp.
Danny "yeah you aren’t officially my friend until you’ve tried to kill me" fenton my guys.
Anyways both keep having the same argument over if Danny technically kidnapped Jason or not. Danny holds the fact that the police at least didn’t see the guy make the ridicule. Jason argued that happened cause he was sporting a concussion. Danny argued he got that after.
Jason at first thinks the guy's a meta, but no. Danny introduces himself, sheepily now that he recognizes this is who the lair he invaded is from. He bandages him and tries to cook for him. If Danny didn’t have ice powers he most certainly would’ve burned the apartment. Jason then proceeds to kick him out of his own kitchen and make them both enchiladas. It’s the most normal both had in a while with another person and the air seems oddly settled. From then on, Jason constantly invited himself over, under the pretense that this was his territory and therefore he could drop in unannounced. Danny who has actual powers says he only allows this because Jason cooks very well.
Danny stays away from the crime fighting business unless his buddy is in deep shit he can’t get himself out. Also it’s Danny’s turn to cover for his vigilante friend which Sam and Tucker give him so much shit for. (but also advice)
And they were roommates. (omg) Danny effectively derails Jason’s big comeback plans by casually dropping ghost lore every two days. Like,
Jason, talking about how he doesn’t want Bats snooping on his territory:
Danny: Just don’t let them in
Jason: ??
Danny: yeah!! Hasn’t Batman died and got revived??? You can totally kick out death touched people you don’t want entering on your lair.
Jason: …I can?
Danny: Yep dude, your lair’s supposed to feel safe.
Jason: wait does that mean I can kick you out?
Danny: First this is my apartment. Second, im dead, not dead touched. Third, it’s too late to get rid of me. bitch.
Anyways Jason is super excited. You mean to tell him he can actually deny people over to his territory haunt?? (Yes it’s only to people who have died and came back but still!! The sample size is exactly the type of people he doesn’t want to see—!)
Joker my beloathed can’t step foot in Crime Alley.
(Jason’d feel a lot safer if the clown was dead but the possibility of his murderer turning into a ghost and their little loophole not applying on the clown is too scary to contemplate.)
Anyways, Jason loves experimenting with the power. It can go from simply making people shudder and not want to enter crime Alley to straight up not letting them enter like there’s an invisible wall blocking the way.
Jason because he’s hurt that Bruce never even patrols Crime Alley and also because he’s petty put B under the category of “invisible wall” blacklist. His reasoning is that the man doesn’t even attempt to enter Crime Alley. To him it’s surely just a place shadowed in tragedy. (anyways that’s it’s the place he met Jason)
Ironically, Jason totally forgets that Batman does venture into Crime Alley one day in the whole year. The day he met Jason.
Okay. He didn’t forget at first. The first year Jason remembers cause it was only a few months till then but then the next— Jason forgets that today’s the anniversary of the day’s Bruce’s parents died. He forgets to allow B in when he feels a slight tug and dismiss the feeling that prompts Bruce to investigate because he literally can’t enter Crime Alley. He starts the trialsTM, he scouts on the very edge and sees people the whole day enter and get out and cross with no problem but Bruce can’t.
It’s literally just Bruce.
Time to call Constantine, i guess.
#bat shenanigans ensue#JSJSJS okay so i dont have a well versed timeline of events but two years after utrh who HASNT died of the batfam#cause those are the ones who are gonna go undercover to find what shady shit is this: )#im going with timmy cass and duke#sorry steph i KNOW you have died#the others have plausible deniability from my part#the trio is gonna come down hard on this unsuspecting pair#let's just say constantine just had one spare magical rune for each of them so they'll be able to identify who was powerful enough to do it#and duke found civvie jason. cass found civvie danny and tim also found jason a la squared. in his red hood get up later that night#the only useful photos are from tim's side but anyways since they got three suspects (one suspected to be the other. so really-- two)#they decide to split each other up and tag one each (whoever doesn't get the correct guy loses)#tim calls dibs on the twink. cass rolls her eyes and narrows her eyes at the red hood and duke smirks when he gets to keep his guy#he's not cheating if he didn't protest to getting to have the guy he already saw the aura of. he's sure he is IT#coincidentally duke happens to be the only bat jason doesn't recognize (and vice versa)#meanwhile cass is gonna be the one shadowing red hood which at this point he doesn't kill that much since he has his rules verymuch enforce#he does kill tho#so at some point they're gonna clash but at the start of the investigation no#let them be siblings your honor#big sis cass and her little brother 6'4 jay#and tim finally is gonna be the one to smoothly get himself in the conversation with cryptid roommate civilian danny fenton#genius dumbasses protection club#their first meeting is of course arranged but no less meet cute coffee shop au#anyways jason wants to know why the fuck hes got a bat tagging along with him so out of the blue and also why can't he fucking chase her of#cass is curious about how the red hood's mood constantly changes within her range yet he never attacks her despite his hurt-longing-anger#the boy who doesn't make noise fucking screeches when she sneaks up to him#and duke fucking brings his hands to block the chernobyl reject glow stick sun that's stands next to tim#while tim looks like his whole system is rebooting cause that's jason todd#dp x dc#danny phantom#jason todd
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In addition to Everything Else that happened this episode, I can’t stop thinking about the moment where Laudna asks him why Seedling isn’t enough why he wants This sword and Orym’s whole demeanor shifts and he looks Laudna dead in the eyes and says you’re right why Would you reach for a darker power.
Orym and Laudna are the characters with the most interparty conflict and they’re the same!!!!!!! At their core their strongest motivation is their drive to protect the ones they love at the cost of themselves if necessary. We see it all the time with Orym throwing himself in front of his friends over and over again, making deals with fae to try and keep them safe. And we see it all the time with Laudna and Delilah, where over and Over again she lures Laudna with the promise of being strong enough to protect her friends, to keep them safe. We saw it again tonight when Delilah manipulated her to get the sword by telling her it was a danger to Orym!!
Both of them looked at the power that caused their pain and decided to take it for their own, to use it to protect their loved ones instead, because if it was capable of such devastation against them, it was capable of delivering that same devastation to their enemies. Laudna asking why seedling isn’t enough (why he isn’t enough, the frustrated self-deprecating response “I have Push-ups!”) and Orym returning the question because Laudna Does have her own power separate from Delilah, she just doesn’t think its enough for what’s coming!!!
They both lost their families, but where Orym had the rest of his family, a purpose, a home, Laudna lost Everything and only had the voice of her murderer as comfort in the cold. So now they’re both taking on the power that destroyed their lives, but Orym can be rational and willing to have a discussion about doing so, while Laudna absolutely Cannot do the same because of how entwined she is with Delilah (with Delilah quite literally guiding her actions in addition to the years of psychological manipulation and abuse), and so they’re the same and yet so utterly different that they keep coming up against this fundamental inability to understand the other’s position because despite the same underlying motivations, their responses are so different.
Why would you reach for a darker power, why can you not understand why I’m doing this, why can you not see I’m doing this For You. Distorted reflections of each other wanting to be understood and at a loss when faced with the differences between them, what a fucking dynamic.
#critical role#cr spoilers#cr3#Laudna#orym of the air ashari#sorry for the long post this episode made me insane#Orym knows Ludinus is more powerful than Otohan but to him Otohan is the most powerful version of who he could be#just like Delilah is for Laudna#‘the sword wasn’t the power that killed his family Otohan was’ and by that logic what do you think Delilah’s magic is#it’s the tool they used to deal damage which is now being wielded by their victim#I do think Orym is more capable of understanding Laudna’s position than vice versa#due to the aforementioned Evil Witch Who Killed Her In Laudna’s Brain Who Is Constantly Manipulating Her#which doesn’t absolve Laudna of her actions nor is it fair to demand Orym constantly be the more understanding person#but it’s why their conflict and Laudna’s actions feel realistic#‘’Laudna was being so unreasonable and destructive this episode’ yes. I wonder why.
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More modern au Rookanis, this time about Lucanis breaking the news that he's dating to his family.
So the Dellamortes are all gathered together in their big ass dining room to eat dinner and Caterina decides to tell Lucanis that she has set him up for a date with what she considers a suitable partner for him because he is 36 and if she is going to get any great grandkids before she's in the grave then clearly she is going to have to be the one putting the legwork in to set him up with someone. [Caterina has already given up on Illario because while he's had a lot of partners over the years, he's clearly not the type to settle down and raise a family.]
Unlike the many other times Lucanis has just nodded and gone along with it to please his grandmother, this time Lucanis declines and when Caterina pushes for a reason why he has to admit that he's seeing someone right now.
You could have heard a pin drop in that room with how silent it got if it weren't for the fact that Illario dropped his wineglass on the floor in shock. Caterina didn't even fuss at him for breaking the good glassware because she's also processing the fact that her grandson has apparently been dating someone and has said nothing about it to her. Unfortunately for Lucanis, her shock doesn't last long as she starts questioning him on how long this has been going on and Lucanis has to guiltily admit that its been about 6 months.
This is about the time Illario reboots and dramatically exclaims "You've been seeing dating someone for six months and you didn't tell me?!" like its the greatest slight he's ever received in his life.
There's a lot of reasons Lucanis didn't tell his family about dating Rook like he was terrified they'd disapprove and scare her off and specifically in the case of Illario, I feel like Illario has had a history of seducing people Lucanis has shown an interest in or when that didn't work sabotaging any sort of budding relationship because that's how Illario deals with his inferiority complex and resentment towards Lucanis because if they fall for him then it proves he's better then Lucanis and if he ruins the relationship then he has one area in life that he excels at over Lucanis and that's romance. Of course Lucanis and Illario have never actually addressed or acknowledged this but it is one of the many issues silently festering between them.
The other reason is Lucanis is very aware of the age gap between himself and Rook because he's in his mid thirties and Rook is somewhere in her early twenties. Lucanis is a lot more self conscious of the optics of their relationship especially when you add in the fact that he's loaded and Rook is driving around in Bianca. Sure Lucanis would love to absolutely drown Rook in gifts and take care of her for the rest of his life but Rook being so young and coming from much simpler means could definitely lead to Illario and Caternia making some unflattering and untrue assumptions about Rook, namely being a gold digger. [Nevermind the fact that Rook might have been a foster kid but she was raised by super wealthy art collector Vorgoth and as such is not nearly as dazzled by the Dellamorte family's wealth as they would assume looking at the way Rook dresses or her car. If anything Rook is biting back some very bitchy comments she could be making about the obscene ostentatiousness of the Dellamorte estate.]
Instead of saying any of that Lucanis settles on the neutral response that he wanted to see how the relationship would go before he introduced them to the family. The rest of the dinner is just Caterina and Illario interrogating Lucanis about his love life and Lucanis desperately trying to dodge the questions because he does not need Caterina or Illario butting into things with Rook because things are going really well right now and Lucanis is terrified that its all going to fall apart soon. Half of rookanis' relationship is them going 'are you sure you still like me' and then the other one saying the most romantic and poetic response that basically boils down to 'of course I do and I won't ever stop'
All this leads to Illario all but immediately getting on instagram and trying to find out who the hell Lucanis is dating. It's not like Lucanis has social media but Illario has meet Neve before and starts there because she's his first suspect for Lucanis' secret sweetheart and finds nothing. He then starts looking at any photo she's been tagged in and manages to locate Lucanis' whole friend group and Illario was aware that Lucanis had actually made some friends for the first time in the last year but he was not expecting them to be so weird. Every new profile Illario finds just makes him despair more for Lucanis' taste because he doesn't know which one Lucanis' is dating but he's judging hard already.
Eventually he finds what looks like Lucanis holding hands with someone in the background of a blurry photo Taash posted of some birds but the picture is so out of focus he can't see any identifying details. Illario ends up chucking his phone at the wall in frustration because he's been at this for hours and can find nothing because for some reason all of Lucanis' friends are ludites that post almost nothing at all or random pictures that give Illario nothing to work with to narrow down which of these freaks and weirdos Lucanis has settled on.
Caterina on the other hand has already hired a private investigator to find out who Lucanis is seeing and everything about them. Caterina has a file on her desk in three days about an inch thick full of information on this 'Rook' that Lucanis has apparently decided is the One.
#still deciding whether I want this to be a modern au or modern fantasy au and keep it in thedas with magic and spirits and the like#it actually might be really funny to turn this into a modern rewrite of veilguard where they still gotta stop solas#but this time they have a group chat and drive around in an suv named bianca#however keeping this a fun light au where solas is actually rook's neighbor she's constantly beefing with would be very funny too#rook and solas are constantly using the hoa (elgar'nan and ghilan'nain) to fuck with each other#alternately keeping with rook housesitting the lighthouse in canon make solas rook's shitty landlord that rook is always fighting with#rookanis#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#caterina dellamorte#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#datv#bianca the suv au
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also really enamoured with agathas absolute inability to value tarot. intuition and interpretation, way too wishy washy for someone who lectured wanda about how long it fucking takes studying all the theory before you can do any moderately impressive magical acts
#and it's not that she doesnt have power right!#wait does her power like.......run out#how does that power sucking thing work is there lore i can check out. is there a tardis wiki#if she gets someones power does that run out or.........is it not that like........cold in/out calculation#actually wait jac schaeffer says magic is not........precise right? it's about intention and it's imprecise#but agatha seems to have learnt a lot from books#like technically#and she can USE it too obviously#but hmmmmmm#thinking out loud#obviously she can use Intention she can block billy frmo her mind too i think those are related skills#focus and intention#anyway im not at all surprised shes unable to interact with tarot except as a con#she LIES TO HERSELF#she lies constantly and she lies to herself. obviously tarot is not gonna be her game
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Many things were used to describe the mad hermit of Amaurot: a drunkard, degenerate, cynical, and even monstrous by those who stirred trouble for the newly appointed Azem. But nothing could prepare Emet-Selch for what he would see for himself, when offered a chance to meet the Sun's Shadow.
#ffxiv#ancients#endwalker spoilers#emet selch#lahabrea#azem#azem oc#apollo#dionysus#hemitheos dionysus because I like the thought that anyone with soul sight will look at him#and they get to be jumpscared by what i like to personally imagine as a winged embodiment of void or the abyss#I would say the moon but within the context of FFXIV the moon isnt actually a normal astral body#though like azem/apollo and the role of the sun#I write dionysus to be the astrological moon#a character who represents the subconscious and the self- who often sees and brings out the worst in those around him#how I basically describe as being around him will break you to your barest so you can remake yourself into something better than before#unfortunately for the convocation he is also an antithesis to their ways and their biggest critic- out of love- funnily enough#also dont mind the idea that magic (especially creation magic) is so deeply ingrained that the idea of manual work is surprising to people#dionysus has to constantly use his aether to suppress his power he's either doing things by hand or sleeping#ancient zenos does not get to escape the sleepy curse#weird vintner in the mountains found lounging off in the middle of his vineyard#emet expecting dion to be the problem out of the duo until he realizes that /apollo/ is the overprotective cryptic and chaotic weirdo#with the power to stop an active volcano#and dion is the chill and collected hardworking man who despite everything is more human than most#tbh this was mostly inspired by the scenes with thordan and varis and how they react to WoL and Zenos in those moments#for dion/zenos it is their being while on the flip side for WoL/Azem it is their choices and the expression of such choices
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while i obviously think buck's self-discovery and acceptance of his sexuality is vital to his growth and (eventual) happiness, i'm not too thrilled about this sentiment i see going around that all of his issues are magically gonna be fixed now that he's dating a guy. i think this episode, more than anything, proved just how not okay he is—for reasons that are not completely tied-up in his sexuality.
#neethu speaks#like..he is actively hurting the people around him. i cannot stress that enough.#not just eddie but also chimney who he shamelessly used this episode.#he is constantly lying to himself and the people around him#his deep-rooted issues with intimacy/relationships have not magically gone away.#these are not the actions of someone who is okay.
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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Ferdinand: Did you finish all your work, or did you slack off reading again?
Rozemyne: I don't know. Have you eaten real food today?
Ferdinand:
#ascendance of a bookworm#honzuki no gekokujou#Ferdinand AoBW#Ferdinand aob#rozemyne#rozemyne aobw#rozemyne aob#i love a grown man who has to be constantly reminded to eat and sleep 🥰#ok but i honestly think Ferdinand is the funniest person in that universe#hes positively ridiculous#as ridiculous as Myne#but no one but Myne justus and Eckhart know#😭😭😭#and maybe Karstedt and Slyvester#but Slyvester just figured it out like last week#he was like damn#my little brother got it all together#*cue ferdinand coming into the office having not slept in a week reeking of potions*#“Good news: i invented [insert ridiculous magic device here]. Bad news: only i can use it.” - ferdi#hes done that to Slyvester multiple times#especially when Rozemyne was asleep in the juice box#thats probably when Slyvester realized ferdinand was actually insane
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⬇️rant about a really good hengren (reverse renheng) fic i read. link at the bottom give it a whirl
i've never read a fic so well-catered to my tastes before in my life and the best part is that i was so caught off guard by how good it was cuz the tags and summary had me like "right this is some omegaverse-esque, rawr XD mating shit"
but from the very first paragraph i realized it wasn't just ao3-typical possessive mating shit it was (dare i say) IN CHARACTER possessive mating shit. underappreciated dan feng lore is the two hearts shit, duty expects him to smother his own empathy and perform cruelty obediently (and that being in his dragon form literally numbs his empathy towards mortals) but then it's flipped around and he's criticized for being too heartless
there aren't a great many english fics that take advantage of the 'numbed empathy' thing, so this fic using that to explore the toxic codependency that drove dan feng to making yingxing immortal in the first place is so!
dan feng's dragon heart prioritizing it's own indulgence and power, his human heart screaming against it for empathy and restraint, but both hearts united in this possessive adoration of yingxing... dan feng is possessive to the point of harming his partner, forcing them to take his affection, inherently contradictive to the protective impulse to see the other unhurt.
dan feng makes yingxing immortal in a really sketchy operation, despite knowing that yingxing is literally defined by his pride in being a short-life. he wants yingxing to be with him so badly that he does the one thing that would hurt yingxing the most, too blinded by possession, this sickly overbearing affection, to empathetically respect yingxing's death.
yingxing lived cramming every second he could into his craft and his goals precisely because he has so much less time than all the immortal species around him, but when he's forced into immortality, his hands are scarred and ruined past the point of ever crafting again. he suddenly has so much time, all this time he would've cherished as a mortal, but is totally useless to him now that his purpose for living and passion is gone.
so there being a scene in this fic where dan feng is moping "yingxing doesn't wanna fuck because he's glued to his workshop", being followed up with a scene of dan heng fucking blade while kissing his scarred hand and crying that he's "so sorry", yeah no shit asshole, his dragon heart got what it wanted, blade has all the time in the world to fuck and nothing competing for his now limitless attention and no one's happy about it.
as arrogant about being a short-life as yingxing was, it really is compensation for the discrimination he faced for it. other immortals looked down on him, so having dan feng, THE top dog, be so deeply enamored with him stirred his own toxic codependent urges. he was so desperate to have dan feng's eternal regard that he's willing to die for him (as in the sedition), his death being the force cementing his place in dan feng's heart forever.
so the fic having yingxing ruminate on this, that he had hoped for dan feng to love him even centuries after he inevitably died, only for the fic to end with:
yeah yingxing... you left an impression... he made you immortal.... everyone's upset by this
(that's what makes dan heng forgetting blade was ever yingxing to begin with all the more painful because, you went and turned him immortal and when it backfired horrifically you went on and fucking forgot, bitch i'd be pissed to the point of centuries long bloody pursuit of vengeance too.)
here's the fic go read it and leave kudos and a comment, technically porn but i got so invested in the character study that part barely registered. also yeah if you hadn't realized already super dead-dove:
blah blah "renheng is toxic" sorry that's why i like it
#hengren#renheng#txt#fic rec#nsft#idrc about who tops but ppl who are strictly top!blade truthers... give this fic a whirl plz it's so good expand ur horizons#so many other insane ramblings i could have about this fic oh my god the way the cloudhymn magic constantly healing yingxing#parallels blade's selfhealing (a self healing he got BECAUSE dan feng made him immortal)#cementing how his current state really was created by dan feng's desire to keep him and his love eternal URHGHG#ppl have the audacity to say blade is obsessed with dan heng when it was dan feng's obsession that created blade to begin with. kms#and also dan heng's guilt the whole while is 🤌 cuz before he was like. wow. that's SO fucked up. good thing dan feng did it#surely /i'm/ not capable of that -- pan to slow realization that he's still very much dan feng#so the initial rejection of responsibility of dan feng's crimes to realizing that it's deadass just his own crimes he has to atone for#kafka being quietly and subtly comforting of blade and that making dan heng possessive . when the reason blade needs comfort to begin with#is dan heng himself. like. it's so ironic i'll die#more honorable mentions is i love dan heng calling blade 'yingxing' because it's so fucking mean#he's the bitch getting pissed everytime someone calls him dan feng or dares to insinuate he's the same person but he's the exact same bitch#totally doing a 180 on blade and treating him way more kindly after realizing he used to be yingxing#'stop treating me like the shadow of someone who's long gone' bud listen to ur own advice#the unreliable narration between the first two chapters is so fucking good like once you catch on to which dialogue is actually happening#and what was a flashback and etc etc it's SO fucking good#another honorable mention is. lmao. love it when the top cries pathetic men you'll have my heart forever and always#tons of other endless thoughts about and inspired from this fic but give that bad boy a read. so worth#also this author writes sunblade so that's how you KNOW they're enlightened
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Qibli you are a sweet boy and we love you but WHY
#wings of fire#wof art#qibli wings of fire#qibli#turtle's magic bowl#twice as much please#you used this thing constantly for the entire book#am i missing something#iykyk#darkness of dragons#orange dragon moments
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I know we'll probably never get blood magic back as a specialization but how i miss it. It was by far my favorite to play around with.
#if I'm not on like 1hp constantly I'm doing smth wrong#I also play reaver warrior so maybe it's not a surprise I always have a healer in the party#I get why it's not happening#blood magic is still blood magic but i still miss it#makes sense why Hawke could use it but that's about it#dragon age#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#blood mage#dragon age mage
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adept magic in skulduggery pleasant is so much fun like the concept of overpowered magic disciplines having extreme weaknesses is very cool when the weakness is a fundamental opposite (fire guy melting in water) and very funny when it's a fuck-you weakness (necromancers being Extremely Vulnerable to pickpocketing)
#doesnt help that people drawn to necromancy are usually giant assholes who refuse to firmly grasp their channels#vengeous has skulduggery's armor rn where im at and i cant stop thinking of how fuckjng annoying that has to be#this assclown says hes now the most powerful sorcerer in the world but thats fucking YOUR magic. and you cant use it because he has it. lmao#says kenna#skulduggery pleasant#i want to know as much as possible about all the different disciplines and creatures why did valkyrie have to be taken under the wing#of someone who lies half the time to make her look stupid and not someone who would explain wtf the warlocks' problem is#also im so embarrassed to say 'like' rn because of skulduggery knowing valkyrie was possessed bc she wasnt saying like constantly 😭#so if you notice me not saying it as much im not possessed also im just seen (negative)
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we went over the 14yr long torture session in my last therapy visit actually, and i told her that toward the end i was fantasizing about and then actively considering walking into traffic because if i got catastrophically injured then they would have to treat my pain. and she told me that's not an uncommon thing for people to do. that she has heard that many times before.
like think about that. we are so moralistic about drug use and have politicized a particular type of medicine so much, and doctors are so uncompassionate toward and even suspicious of patients who are in pain because of it, that it's NOT UNCOMMON for people who are otherwise not suicidal to start completely genuinely longing to get hit by a fucking car just for the chance to be oh so graciously provided the absolute bare fucking minimum of care.
think about how many different things have pain as a symptom. how many things have pain as the only symptom the patient is aware of. how many of them are life or death crises. heart attacks. blood clots. strokes. bleeding ulcers. those are just what i can think of off the top of my fucking head, AND I'M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR.
what i had, for example, feels exactly like appendicitis. and they left it for fourteen years because my only symptom was excruciating pain and i didn't fit their stupid little (completely unsupported by evidence, btw) diagnostic mnemonic. if it had been appendicitis, or anything else as immediately deadly that "just" hurts, i would have fucking died the same night i got sent home from the emergency room with "medical" "advice" to take some tylenol and rest - for the first time, that is. out of dozens. how many people do die that way?
because addicts are Bad. and because doctors are too arrogant and biased to practice medicine on the basis of evidence and informed consent when the profit model and conservative propaganda make it soooo easy to stay in the good old days of paternalism instead.
#jack facts#medical#soc#i want to tag this ''opioid crisis'' but i truly don't think i can manage to type it without the quote marks lmao#and like my thing and none of the things i mentioned are fixable via opioids obviously and fucking obviously i know that#but the fucking circus about opioid use and how prescribing opioids Must be avoided at All Costs No Matter What#results in this Us vs Them mentality of The Treacherous Drug Seeker vs The Nurse/Doctor Too Smart To Be Fooled#which is precisely why i said in my last post that they're ''like cops''#they have this perception that they are being constantly rushed by the lying swindling Enemy#and are so smug about it when they believe they have magically divined when someone reporting pain is faking or exaggerating#based on whatever the fuck they individually have decided is Drug Seeking Behavior TM TM TM#which are almost fucking always just normal fucking behavioral responses to pain and fear!!!!#and then that person is not a Patient (as cops are to Victim) they are instead an Addict (as cops are to Criminal)#and that person not only does not get pain relief they don't get anything the god damn fuck else either except a fucking attitude#and people fucking die. of whatever is hurting in the first place or from their endurance for endless torment running out.#disproportionately women and people of color and fat people and the mentally ill and disabled and the poor and children and the elderly and#nurses/doctors 🤝 cops 🤝 soldiers 🤝 ceos 🤝 mass murderers who are socially celebrated for heroism#not to put too radical and fine a point on it or anything lol#ANYWAY#i'll probably delete this or at least the tags lmao#whatever. i'm going to go lie in bed and have symptoms until 6 am when i have to get up to go be retraumatized at the medical lab :)#neglect#drug use#suicide#car crash#illness#ask to tag
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back on my zelda thoughts
idk about you but i got sick of zelda running after people with big sorrowful puppy eyes begging them to listen to her(they wont) or to help link in totk pretty fast
#ganondoodles talks#totk spoilers#i just can stop thinking about how dirty she got done#she can be a tragic character without being constantly sad and scared#dare i say she contributed more positive to the game when she was a dragon#the only scenes she didnt look super sad was pretty much when talking about link at the teacup memory bc .. you know she actually knows him#and where shes essentially forced to decide to half kill herself in order to do literally anything for her own time#now that im thinking about it how the heck did anything on the tutorial even work with her giving her powers to you#and you sending the master sword to her#just feels like they scrambled to somehow get you her pwoers and the mastersword to her#some random bubbles of time magic idk lol#if the game went different#wouldnt it have been cool if those had been caused by zelda learning how to reastablish a connection to her own time#creating those weird time bubbles#and through the course of the game you find more and they let you interact with her more and more as shes learning how to use her powers#until at some point she finds a way to return herself#maybe even her spirit as a companion for a time before she gains control of it further#you know so she can actually at least TALK to you#giving her time powers out of nowehre and then not doing anything with it exept send her back in time somehow and time reverse a dagger#like what#wouldnt it just have made more sense when at first she did it unknowningly and then learned how to use it herself#and then .... well travel back again#ham fisted way to introduce a neat lil game gimmick i guess#and nothing more bc how dare she do anything on her own except .. sacrifice herself lol#i guess its meant ot be uwu tragic bc sonia got fridged too quickly for zelda to learn from her or whatever#which is why i said she learns on her own#idk man this game is driving me nuts
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i am so tired of female characters being inherently written as ‘terrifying’ or ‘scary’ w no respect to their characterisation.
for one, it feels so fake. i know so many women irl (i am one!!!) and there are very few, of any, that i would categorise as ‘scary as is’. heck, even if we go by tempers—the numbers just don’t match.
but somehow in fics, every single woman is a terrifying force of nature bc that’s…somehow…the only way we can think of women? idk?
and also just, it’s such a two dimensional characterisation that i only see w the female characters. all men aren’t angry and hex-happy and scary all the time. they’re affable, chill, respond to situations thoughtfully instead of always resorting to violence.
i think it also bothers me bc the anger thing flows neatly into the v gendered carefree man child/stuck up fun sponge stereotypes that so many relationships are forced into. it’s just an icky dynamic all around.
and lastly,,,i don’t think it’s even normal for a character to be latently terrifying everyone all the time??? unless it’s a specific quirk of theirs??? like women aren’t dementors bro chill tf out
#i just get. so frustrated by how women are written#and ofc this isn’t just limited to fics#all books have these gendered tropes#and i get so annoyed#the whole thing anger also#is it just feels so disingenuous#bc womanhood & anger (and performing/displaying it) is so complicated bc of socialisation n patriarchy#women are simultaneously not allowed to be angry and portrayed as screechy harpies#and so when characters are written like that it just seems to reinforce these ideas#clearly it bothers me a lot haha#u just can’t escape it ykno? that’s my issue#it makes it’s way into writing on such a subconscious level#and people think they’re writing a strong female character#when really they’ve just introduced someone with anger issues#like. it’s NOT normal to always be scared of someone and their reactions ok?#and it’s not okay for women to always be parenting the people (men) around them#constantly checking to see if something is dangerous or if they’re fucking up or do all the responsible things like#how can u not see ur reproducing gendered notions of personality 😭😭#like plssss#and it’s fiction!!!#we are writing about magic and fantasy#but it’s hard for us to conceive of an alternative perception of womanhood? be so fr bruh#like. i guess what i’m getting at. is that women are also just. People. ykno? we can write them normally#just look at the woman around u for one and you’ll get so many ideas 😭#even if we just take anger#9 times out of 10 a fem character will be screaming and hexing and throwing her weight around#but you can be angry in so so many ways#and u can even be someone who doesn’t GET angry. not in such a way. who can’t hold a grudge.#just. i really wish we diversified the way we wrote women. s’all.#pen’s yapping
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