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selkies-world · 11 months ago

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Language resources

(Duolingo alternatives)

For those who no longer use or trust Duolingo, I've put together a list of resources - apps, learning methods, programmes, etc - with a list of whether or not they are free, and my personal experience with their success at teaching a language. I have also included new ones that I haven't tried yet but which I have researched; for these, I have included a rating of how much hope I have for them panning out in the future.

[I grew up bilingual & went to a multicultural school that had a student body consisting of children from refugee families who spoke little to no English. The school prioritised teaching the entire student body the minority languages, and finding a bridge language we could all learn together to fill in any gaps in communication. Due to this, I spent the last 4 years of primary school learning new languages with the rest of the student body.

We would have a school-wide lesson for 1 hour once a week - usually with a child or staff member fluent in that language leading the lesson at the front of the gym with a microphone so we could hear the correct pronunciation in time with reading the native spelling & English phonetics on the projector screen at the front of the hall. We were expected to use this language in the corridors when we spoke with teachers or staff members and when we passed by other students regardless of what their or our native languages were. As far as fluency went, we were expected to be able to recognise and say greetings and goodbyes, enquire to each others well-being, know how to ask for assistance, how to ask for medical help for various things, how to ask where the bathroom was, to give and receive directions around the entire school, as well as colours, names of things found around the school, make small talk about our activities of the day and our family, and why we were out of class - all with relative ease & mutual understanding.

We changed language after every break, so it was roughly 8 hours of lessons in each language, before we would start again with a new one.

Alongside this, the older students in the school (final 3 years, aged 9 - 11/12) would learn French 3+ hours a week for those 3 years so their writing, reading and speaking standards were acceptable for the beginning of high school. In 1 of these years, we also studied both of our native languages for the first time, for 6 weeks each.

I left traditional schooling at 11, and while I was home-schooled I taught myself Italian, Russian, and Latin from scratch, along with relearning my preferred native language, and 2 forms of sign - I used Makaton as a young child and in school as I have a form of mutism, but as a teen I realised I associated this language with the severe trauma I experienced at school, and so suffered from flashbacks and dissociative episodes when I used it. This, along with medical concerns, led to me learning BSL, and then SSE. Today, I use a combination of English, SSE and my native language in everyday settings. I have a mental block for learning French due to it being heavily associated with my trauma.

I am saying all this not for sympathy, but so that you can see firstly how much I enjoy and value learning languages, and in order to show my experience levels with learning languages. I've used, tried, and tested all of the learning methods I will be talking about in this post. I have either used or done a lot of research into the apps and programmes discussed in this post.

And yes, I have prioritised ones that teach endangered languages, indigenous languages and languages that aren't often included in language media such as Hebrew, various forms of Arabic, Navajo, Gaelic, and others. I have also included ones that teach and / or document sign languages and sign communication systems.]

Please note that the following lists are arranged in no particular order. They are not ranked best to worst or by any other X to Y ratio. They are simply ranked according to how I remembered, tested, or found each of them.

Apps

1: Fluyo.

Rating for hope / faith: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: n/a

Cost: unknown

Status: not yet publicly available

Please note that while Fluyo is not yet available, its Kickstarter page is flourishing, its app is in development, and the developer is a man of colour who has continued to devote himself to this app and its development despite rising health concerns, developing a life-changing disabling condition, and numerous set-backs. His YouTube channel is very educational, and he has also written a book on language-learning. If you would like to know more, you can learn about him here. Fluyo is set up like a computer game with multiple cute characters who are interactive rather than stationary, and I genuinely have high hopes for it once it is released.

2: Babble

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial for the first lesson, but a paid subscription is required for any further lessons

Status: available to download

3: Language Drops

Personal experience: ☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free for some lessons, but a paid account is required for access to all lessons

Status: available to download

4: Fluent forever

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free access to basic lessons to build your confidence with the language, but a paid subscription is required for unlimited access

Status: available to download

5: Lingopie

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial for 7 days, but a paid subscription is required after that for continued use of the app

Status: available to download

6: Fluenday

Hope for: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

7: Language flower

Hope for: ☆

Languages available: ☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆

Cost: free, as far as I can tell

Status: available to download

8: Sign BSL / Daniel Mitchell

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

Please note that Daniel Mitchel offers a BSL version of this, along with an ASL version.

9: Bright BSL / sign lab

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness:☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for some lessons + premium for all other lessons

Status: available to download

Please note that Sign Lab offers this app for the following sign languages: BSL (Bright BSL), ASL (ASL Bloom), LSF (Pause LSF / Langue des Signes, yoDGS, Libras (LibrasLab), Italian Sign Language (MeLISegno), and Toleio: Norsk Tegnspråk.

10: BSL zone

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

11: Reverso context

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

This is less for learning a language, more for quick reference / fact-checking a translation.

12: Pimsleur

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free 7 day trial, but a paid subscription is required for continued use

Status: available to download

13: Memrise

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for introductory levels, with a premium option to unlock majority of lessons

Status: available to download

14: Busluu

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: Free, with a premium option to download lessons, more repetition, and extra lessons

Status: available to download

15: Hello Talk

Hope for: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

16: Rosetta Stone

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: monthly subscription is required

Status: available to download

17: Lingo Deer

Personal experience: ☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, with a premium option for all lessons beyond Basics 1

Status: available to download

18: Beelinguapp

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial, but a subscription is required for total access

Status: available to download

19: Lingvist

Personal experience: ☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆ (though it does have an option to suggest other languages for them to add, and which language you would like to learn from, and they'll email you when / if that language becomes available)

Effectiveness: unknown

Cost: free

Status: available to download

[Please note this one is not photosensitive friendly or seizure friendly. I had to close the app as soon as I opened it due to the design on their opening page, and even when I reopened it and clicked straight through, their colour scheme was still upsetting to my senses.]

20: Lingvano

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for a few lessons, but for access to all lessons, a paid subscription is required

Status: available to download

21: Duocards

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, but a more advanced version is available for premium accounts

Status: available to download

22: Chatterbug

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free with limited access, but a paid version is available

Status: available to download

23: Mango languages learning

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial, with a premium account required for further access

Status: available to download

24: EdX

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost:

Status: available to download

Please note that EdX is an app which houses courses on multiple subjects, not specifically a language-learning app.

25: Mondly Languages

Personal experience: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free, though it does repeatedly offer you a subscription account for an experience catered to you and your interests

Status: available to download

Please note this one may be triggering to those who are photosensitive or whose senses are upset by rapid moving gifs. There is a crown in the top right-hand corner which vibrates very quickly.

26: Speakly

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free trial, with a subscription account required for further use

Status: available to download

27: Pocket sign

Hope for: ☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, as far as I can tell

Status: available to download

28: Lingo legend language learning

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, though I think there may be a premium option either available but unmentioned, or in the works

Status: available to download

Please note that this app offers you the chance to vote for which languages should be added to its interface, so they can prioritise which ones to fund.

29: INC sign language app

Hope for: ☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to download

For those with religious trauma, please note that INC stands for Iglesia Ni Cristo, and the INC Sign Language App "is a project of the Christian Society for the Deaf under the Christian Family Organizations Office of the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ)". While it does not appear to prioritise religious content, the content does feature people dressed in suits as if for attending a church sermon.

30: My signing time

Hope for: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: 14 day free trial, and a subscription is required after this point

Status: available to download

Please note that this one is aimed at babies / toddlers & families.

32: Falou

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, with a premium option if you want to learn more than 1 language & unlock additional courses in your chosen language

Status: available to download

33: Earworms

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free for the demo, then after that, the lessons are broken into two "volumes" to buy individually, or 1 bonus-pack which contains both to buy once at a slightly reduced cost.

Status: available to download

Please note that Earworms used to be available as CD lessons, which is when I first used them. The CDs were in Volumes and were more expensive than all costs on this app. I used them 10 years ago and still remember what I learned despite not getting to use the language very often, so I can guarantee their method is very effective.

34: Qlango

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, with a premium option for the final 3 levels

Status: available to download

Please note that this one is laid out more like a semi-immersive lesson plan rather than a game. However, it is currently my favourite one.

Other resources

1: Signing hands (YouTube)

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆

Cost: free

Status: available to watch

2: Military style

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆☆

Cost: n/a

Status: available to begin for free, though it will be difficult for you to find an environment that allows you to experience this authentically. If you would like to learn more about what the military style is, I will speak about it further below.

3: Textbooks / Reading materials

Personal experience: ☆☆☆☆

Languages available: ☆☆☆☆☆

Effectiveness: ☆☆☆☆

Cost: free, or otherwise up to you (what you are willing / able to spend on it)

Status: available to start whenever you feel like it

You can find numerous language-learning resources listed at the end of this post. I also recommend buying an up-to-date dictionary and thesaurus in your chosen language, and studying it. Study the grammar noted in the front, and then actually read the dictionary. It will seem strange, but it will benefit you in the long-run. Make notes as you go, highlight and colour some things in as you see fit.

Learning methods

1: Immersion

Over and over again, we are told that immersion is the best, most effective way to learn a language. This is because this is how we often think children learn languages - and we're partly right about that.

Immersion is the process of immersing yourself in the chosen language, with one single choice: learn the language, or suffer.

If our brains have to choose between struggling to pronounce a few words while gesturing to something we want and clinging onto sounds we hear like trying to hold onto a wet otter, or not getting what we want, we're going to choose to sound & look like an idiot, pointing and saying basic sounds, even if trying to remember the reply is like trying to remember Pi.

With enough time, though, we pick the language up remarkably well when we have no choice but to pick it up. This is the method which has us mimicking accents and gestures and expressions in order to best gain what we want: to express ourselves, our needs and our desires.

However, immersion is often critiqued because unless you have the means to fly to the country that speaks your desired language and live there with 0 influence from your native language for 6+ months... Well, you're not fully immersed, are you? Language apps try to give you an immersive experience, but you can always put your phone down. Depending on where you were educated, you may have had an immersive language class, where you had to learn the language or not be able to join in and so failed by default.

Good ways to mimic immersion are: finding radio channels in your chosen language and watching TV shows in your chosen language without subtitles, and listening to music in your chosen language.

2: Flashcards

Flashcards often tend to be a popular way to test your memory and retention of a particular subject. However, using them to begin learning a language can lead to a loss of motivation.

If you are creating the flashcards yourself, I would recommend creating them in 2 sets: 1 which is the traditional flashcard (your first language OR a picture on one side, and the translation on the other side), and 1 which has twice as many, with only 1 side being used. This second set should be designed like playing cards - the word or picture on one side, and a plain back.

This second set can be used when you're wanting to boost your motivation or confidence - arrange the cards face down, and begin playing the children's game of Pairs. Another option would be Snap.

When you return to using the traditional flashcards, you'll have a better foundation to build on if you've taught yourself to see these as fun, and taught your brain to associate these cards with quickfire responses - such as are brought to the surface during childrens' cards games.

3: Stickers

This is a method which seems obvious once it's pointed out, but seems confusing if you've never done it before.

Simply put, using stickers is when you create or buy stickers with the translation of everyday objects, words and phrases in your chosen language, and put them up around your house. "Door" goes on the door. "Cupboard" goes on the outside of a cupboard, "bread" goes on the inside. "Fridge" goes on the fridge door. "Milk" goes behind the milk so you see it every time you pick the milk up. "Lightswitch" goes above / under the lightswitch. Etc etc etc.

This is a memory retention technique used for multiple scenarios. Nurseries and schools may sometimes have the Makaton sign for something shown in a large diagram stuck to the walls / surfaces. Carehomes may have the names & purposes of objects stuck to the surfaces / objects in the dominant language, for the residents with memory issues or communication barriers.

While this is a good technique for quickfire memory boosts, it can be a slow way to learn a language from scraps, and is better suited for when you are semi-familiar with the written form of the language you are learning. It is also a good way to get everyone involved, as everyone in the home will be interacting with the stickers.

4: Forced conversation

This one is controversial, but can be very effective if it is approached with an open mind, clear communication and previously-agreed upon rules and lines.

The method of forced conversation is exactly what it sounds like: it is when you are engaged in a conversation in your target language, in which the person whom you are conversing with refuses to speak your original language. However, no matter how poor your language skills are, or how uncomfortable you get, they do not stop the conversation, and you do not let to leave the situation until they are satisfied you have communicated well enough, and have understood them. This will usually be "proven" by them giving you instructions, asking a specific question, or requesting you do something for them - if you follow the action through, you have understood them, if you try to give a vague answer and do not do the task, you have not understood them, and the interaction is forced to continue. Again.

This method is controversial because it is not immediately inclusive or welcoming for those who are shy, have anxiety, any form of Mutism, or who have a neurodiversiry or learning disability which impacts their communication. In formal situations, it is often these people who fall behind or get put off from learning a language if forced conversations are the only method they have the option of.

However, if there are adaptions made and accommodation previously discussed and provided, this can still be a viable method which is inclusive to all.

If the person speaking your target language is previously informed of your communication issues or complications, and are instructed in how to accommodate you (ie: Do they need to point at something, or use picture cards as prompts? Do you prefer using picture cards? Do you get distracted if they use hand gestures? Do you need fidget toys provided? Will it be easier for you if you are not forced to maintain eye contact? Will it be better for you if one or both of you are moving around rather than sitting down directly across from each other? Do the lights need to be altered in your environment to make the sensory experience less overwhelming? Do you use noise cancelling headphones? Do you focus better if there is music on in the background? Are there certain tones of voice or volume levels that need to be avoided? Does constantly changing body language stress you out? Do you have a stutter or speech impediment that may impact your pronunciation? Etc.)

Accomodaring these issues, and coming up with a signal to take a break (ie, if you have issues telling the difference between "I am angry at you personally" and "I am tired today" in vocal tones and facial expressions, will you get upset if you think the person is angry at you for not knowing their language? If so, do you need a signal to take a break so you can clearly communicate your stress, and they can give you an answer in your original language and clarify anything which is upsetting or confusing you, before continuing the conversation in your target language?) or to speak in simpler terms? Is their one subject you can talk about particularly well (a hyperfixation) which they can use in the conversation to help you engage?

All of these accommodations may seem intimidating, but if all those involved are aware of these accommodations going into the conversation, it can make the interaction much more positive and productive.

Forced conversation uses the same logic as immersion: if your brain has to choose between looking / sounding like an idiot who stumbles over words, or a very uncomfortable situation which lasts longer each time you make a mistake, your brain will choose to look like an idiot in order to achieve what it wants.

5: Repetition

Repetition is a very common method of learning a language, though it is often criticised for being ineffective.

It is when a phrase or word is said by one party, and repeated by another. If the second party does not pronounce it correctly, the first party repeats it again. This continues until the second party gets it correct. Then the pattern is repeated with another phrase / word. Once a certain number of words have been said correctly by the second party, the first party will return to the start and repeat the process again, with the second party having to say the phrases / words correctly multiple times before being able to move onto the next. The entire process continues in this loop until the second party is saying things correctly with ease.

This method is part of what makes up both immersion, flashcards and military style methods for language learning. It can also be used with textbook learning.

However, it is often critiqued because once the second party is away from the first party and left to their own devices, their confidence in their previous pronunciation will falter, and when they return to the lesson or need to use the language again, they'll be at a lower level of achievement than they were when they left. It is also very tedious, and can become boring.

6: Music

When I spoke about immersion, I briefly mentioned music. I also said that we assume children learn language via immersion. However, as adults we often overlook something else which plays a crucial role in teaching children language: music.

Children learn language, rhythm, speech patterns, and turn-of-phrase via songs, rhymes, riddles, fables, tongue-twisters, and music.

This is why it can be priceless to learn songs in your chosen language. Lullabies. Nursery rhymes. Children's songs. Pop songs that are ridiculed as being too simple or written without talent. Theme tunes from children's shows. Traditional rhymes and tongue-twisters. Most of these can be found via a long time on YouTube.

Music works in a unique way, worming its way into our minds. Our brains are hardwired to recognise and remember patterns - and music is made up of patterns. This is why we get songs stuck in our heads for no reason. Being able to use this to your advantage to learn or remember a new language can be an amazing experience.

7: Subtitles and language swap

This is a method which can be useful when you are learning more than one language, but are more familiar with one than the other.

It is where you watch / listen to a certain media in 1 language, while reading the subtitles / lyrics in another language. This way, the language you are more familiar with / fluent in will fill the gaps of understanding the less familiar one.

You can then challenge yourself by removing one language (muting the media & only reading the subtitles, or removing the subtitles and only listening to the provided audio) and seeing how well you follow along / understand.

This can also be used with your target language and your original language.

8: Writing it down

This is another form of repetitive learning which can be useful when studying / retaining for an exam, but can also be useful when you are first learning the written-to-verbal patterns of a language.

One method is longterm recall: this is where you write down short notes, words & phrases in your target language 1+ hour after engaging with your learning resources. This tests how much you retained. It is a physical show of how much you have actually learned.

Another method is short term recall & build-up: this is where you choose a single word / phrase, and write it as lines (Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are green and brown. Ducks are-) until your page is full. Then go back to the start and write over the top of your own writing, staying as close to your original marks as possible. Repeating this pattern multiple times until your page rips or the words become close to unreadable tricks your brain into focusing morenon your handwriting than on the language - as such, you will start to see the phrase / word as a pattern to follow, and it is then left to your subconscious mind to retain it while your conscious mind prioritises hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

9: Textbook

If you're more academically inclined, you may prefer a textbook method of study. This is the style used in most night classes and / or some traditional education classes.

Textbook methods have everything arranged by date and time, and learning goals are broken down & laid out according to a set calender: by x, you will have learned this amount, by y, you will have learned this amount, so on so forty until the final set date when you will be "fluent" or a certain level of reasonably fluent.

Most of the time with this method, you will be following guidelines, activities and lesson plans previously arranged in a chosen textbook, and that textbook will be your sole or primary resource.

10: Bilingual books (page by page)

Using page-by-page bilingual books can be confusing and is often overlooked in regards to adult education - however, it can be somewhat interesting to try.

On one page, the text will be written in your original language - on the opposite page, the same text will be repeated in your target language. Seeing the two side-by-side allows you to read your target language and instantly refer back to your original language if you get stuck on a word or phrase.

There is another form of bilingual books often given to children: line-by-line. These feature the image / picture, with the original text written clearly and simply, usually no more than 1 or 2 sentences per page. Directly underneath them will be the translated text written in a different font.

11: Same story / movie, different language

While this can be a fun method, it isn't always the most beneficial if you're looking for accuracy - however, it can be useful if you're wanting to test yourself.

It uses a similar logic to the subtitles & language swap method: you put on a movie you are familiar with, but you put it on in your target language with 0 subtitles. This allows you to engage with the language while using the familiar movie / story as a bridge.

12: Military Style

This is perhaps the most effective technique to use of you have a set amount of time to reach a specified level of understanding / fluency in a language. However, it is also one of the most difficult to fully replicate yourself.

Military style is a form of forced immersion combined with forced conversation and repetitive loops, but with reward and punishment techniques to make you prioritise learning the language over your own comfort zone / personal boundaries.

An example of this style would be party 1 having party 2 engage in forced conversation in front of an audience, then having them repeat a phrase they got wrong over and over until they get it right - all in front of the audience, with a rule set which forbids party 2 from sitting down or disengaging the interaction until they have finished the task. Nobody in the audience is allowed to help party 2. Party 1 continues to push party 2 outside of their comfort zone by having them continue the conversation, repeating any mistakes until they are corrected, and the conversation does not end until it is completed.

After that, party 2 has to do 100 push-ups while repeating the phrase they got wrong the most - and they have to pronounce it correctly while doing the push-ups. Any mistakes, and they go back to 1, regardless of if they were at 7 or 98.

This combined punishment of mild public humiliation and physically pushing their body beyond its limits makes the brain see learning the language as the solution to ending this treatment - as such, party 2 will be far less likely to repeat those mistakes again.

Alongside this, there is forced immersion, in the sense that nobody is allowed to speak their original language in any context or to anyone - they must use the target language or be ignored at best or ridiculed at worst.

Understandably, this method is difficult to replicate on your own or outside of the army.

However, there are some tokens which can be taken from it: notably forced repetition & physical exercise.

Set yourself a challenge using any of the previously mentioned learning methods or apps. Keep note of your mistakes.

At the end of the challenge (say 30 minutes of learning) count up all your mistakes. Now do a push-up / squat / pull-up / sit-up / etc for each mistake you made while repeating the phrase out loud. If you stall too long on making a connection in your mind or stumble over the sounds, start counting from 1 again. Repeat this until you're continuously getting the mistakes correct.

At the end, go back to your lesson and repeat it. Did you get less mistakes?

Thoughts & considerations when it comes to learning a language - for language savants and novices alike

"If you don't use it, you lose it" is probably one of the most hated phrases in terms of learning anything new - and especially in terms of learning a language. I think a better expression would be "If you don't make room for it, you won't keep it".

If you don't make time to learn a language, you won't learn it.

If you don't challenge yourself to reach a certain standard, you won't achieve any standard.

If you don't make the effort to retain the new information, you'll forget it.

When you learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind. You have to be willing to make mistakes and continue, knowing you're not doing it perfectly. You have to be willing to make it a priority, even if nobody else in your life sees it as one. You have to be willing to be frustrated and tired and bored. You have to be willing to get every single thing wrong and try again. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable with the new sounds you're making and you have to be willing to be patient while your brain digs out a new burrow of tunnels and connections which didn't previously exist.

If you genuinely want to learn a new language, you have to make room for it in your mind and life. Even when sometimes it's a tight fit.

Resources, as promised

Reading, writing & textbook materials:

Book 1

Book 2

Book 3

Book 4

Book 5

Structured notebook 1

Structured notebook 2

Structured notebook 3

Something worth checking out 1

Other things to invest in:

A dictionary in your target language

Picture cards

Flashcards

Stickers

Books in your target language

Children's books in your target language

Nursery rhyme books in your target language

Magazine subscriptions in your target language on a topic you find fascinating

Newspapers in your target language

Poetry in your target language

1 paid language learning app - a lot of the time, you get what you pay for. Not always, but usually.

Notebooks, stationary, etc

Headphones / earplugs

Media in your target language

#languages #langblr #language #linguistics #learning #learn languages #education #educate yourself #educate yourselves #educación #educação #free education #free resources #resources #duolingo #savant

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secriden · 2 months ago

Text

so i'm rewatching the love sea special episode and there's a moment i really want to talk about that happens right after mahasamut's surprise cruise/dinner on the boat.

they're walking back, tongrak is excitedly chattering about how much he loved the date and mahasamut suddenly gets serious and asks if tongrak's really happy. he mentions someone booking out an entire hotel/restaurant and says what he just did was "just a simple boat ride". the almost subdued, defeated tone fort uses to say this line makes mahasamut sound so small and uncertain and says, "how can i be certain you're impressed?"

and the thing that really caught my attention the first watch was tongrak's response! it just... it has me screaming inside because his instant reaction is "mut, don't say that" (but honestly the tone - and the finger - he uses is more like don't you dare talk about yourself that way).

and then he just goes on to affirm and affirm both mahasamut's place in his heart but also the value of the gifts he gives tongrak. these intangible, wonderful experiences which tongrak treasures because it's time and experiences with mahasamut.

peat's expression here is so soft. like the concern and earnest worry because he recognises that mahasamut is expressing a need here, in the relationship, to be reassured that he's doing something right; that he's doing right by tongrak. that although he can't afford to buy out an entire building, the things he can offer are worthy of the love they share.

we didn't get as much of tongrak carrying the emotional weight of the relationship in the series (for very valid reasons given all he had to work through), but i love love love that we got this moment in the special episode because it shows why their love stood the test of time and social difference. tongrak and mahasamut come from such wildly different backgrounds, environments, and contexts (hell, to some extent even culture) that it would be easy for their wires to get crossed/bypass each other but they've worked on their communication so much so that mahasamut feels confident enough to just ask if tongrak is genuinely happy. and not just in the moment, but in the context of his other experiences/other lovers. remember, mahasamut doesn't care what others think except the people he cares about - so now he needs this reassurance from tongrak to know that yes, he is measuring up to the standards tongrak's other lovers have set before.

and i love that they let the moment breathe too. that tongrak gets to explain not only that the experience itself was amazing (dining on the ocean IS better than dining in a building) but also that mahasamut is what makes it so special to tongrak (you're my boyfriend, that was just some random dude; but also, what matters most is who I spend my time with). it isn't a flippant throwaway one-second moment; it's an entire sequence giving us a glimpse into the dynamics of communication that encapsulates a relationship built on mutual care, love, and devotion. the quiet way peat delivers that last line just really conveys how important it is to tongrak that mahasamut hears and knows that he's doing so, so well.

(and fort goes through a series of expressions as tongrak speaks that is just... gorgeous to watch <3)

and just the way mahasamut looks at tongrak after he says this!! he's so happy but its also tender. there's so much love here and so much joy. it's so beautiful. and we got to see that. ;w; <3

#love sea #love sea the series #love sea the series meta #mahasamut #tongrak #mutrak #tongrak x mahasamut #fortpeat #character essay #someone please scream with me about these kinky island boys who are so so in love ;w;#rambles about shows i'm watching #<my posts>

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personasintro · 16 days ago

Note

i might be selfish for this but i miss the time before mutual help reached this gigantic audience. don't get me wrong--- i am elated so many are now recognising your incredible work!! i just miss our (ex) smaller community 😭 like you're probably so busy now, unable to respond to messages because there are just so many to comb through >.<

i've been here since the beginning when you first started writing mutual help (i was here even before that) hehe and i'm so glad to be here still

anyway!! there's nowhere else to go but uppp so good luck!

I know exactly what you mean! I miss those times as well when everything was just about relaxing and having fun while reading & talking.

Thank you so much for being here for so long, it means a lot and I appreciate your support 🧡🫶

#💜

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eggonthemoon · 23 days ago

Text

How Mizisua and Ivantill is often mischaracterized.

(this is entirely my own opinions and interpretations of Alien Stage, you are entirely in the right to disagree with any of my points here)

I feel like a lot of the time, people often water down mizisua and ivantill into something shallower than they are:

Mizisua is sweet and healthy because their love is mutual.

Ivantill is toxic and unhealthy because of it's one-sidedness.

That's probably just me oversimplifying it and I could word it a little better, but that's my point here. There's more to the dynamics than what is on the surface.

And I want to talk about it.

First things first though!

None of the characters are raised in normal, healthy upbringings. And thus don't have a normal or natural foundation to base their relationships on

I feel that's super important to recognise here. How can we expect them to understand things like boundaries and healthy communication when no one has bothered teaching them this. They are left to figure that all out on their own.

Which leaves me to my first point:

Mizisua is not healthy!

Not in the slightest even. I feel like a lot of the time, at least in fandom, people will claim that as long as there's no abuse and both parties feelings are mutual then it's healthy. That's not the case here.

Mizi and Sua has a dangerous level of toxic co-dependency with each other. To cope with their hopeless reality, they pour their everything into their love for each other. They become the other's salvation. And in turn when one of them dies, the other is ruined.

Both of them are selfish in their love for each other. Mizi loved and cherished the soft side of Sua that only she got to see, it made her feel special, blessed even. And Sua purposely left Mizi in the dark about the truth behind Alien Stage, so that she could indulge in her and Mizi's blissful days of youth.

Neither of them are in the wrong for that. They only ever wanted to see the other happy but because of that, they didn't get to be truly vulnerable with each other. They were the other's utopia, their escape.

To me Mizisua is not just doomed because Sua died.

To me Mizisua is doomed because they were never afforded the chance to truly grow their relationship into healthy relationship I know they could be. One where they don't have to always be together and where even the rocky patches are allowed to coexist.

But the segyein never afforded them that chance.

Onto my point on Ivantill...

Till doesn't hate Ivan, he in fact cares for him a lot

Lots of people write off how Till feels about Ivan as "he doesn't give a fuck about him" simply because Till doesn't have any romantic feelings for him. That couldn't be further from the truth. In the artbook Ivan's affection rating on Till's page is 70% which is a lot for someone who supposedly doesn't care about him. Personally I think Till is mostly just confused by Ivan's behaviour.

He likes him but does things to make him mad.

He likes him but he steals things from him and then return them to him later.

When Till punched him after Ivan ruined his flower crown, Ivan laughed, enjoying their fight.

Till is smart, a genius even according to his peers. But when it comes to love he barely knows anything. I'm not sure where this was said but apparently his initial reason for liking Mizi is as simple as:

She's pretty.

Maybe those feelings were eventually accompanied by feelings of admiration for her genuine love of singing but it doesn't change the facts here.

Till's love for Mizi was rather shallow.

But much like Mizi and Sua made each other their escape from reality, Till did the same. Mizi became his everything because he had nothing. No happiness, no comfort, just his talent and a "father figure" with big ambitions for him. "Love" was just yet another means of survival. For someone who has endured violence for so long...would he ever begin to even consider the guy who provokes him, steals from him and "supposedly" enjoys violence, to have feelings for him?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I think Till feels responsible for Ivan abandoning his chance of escape. Till didn't want to leave behind the person he made his entire reason for living but he didn't even once consider that he himself was that to Ivan.

Only when Ivan returned did he understand why.

And that's why I think Till can't stand looking at Ivan. The guilt is too painful. He and the guy might have fought a lot but they were friends. And he took away his one opportunity to escape this hell that is Anakt Garden and Alien Stage.

Till cares deeply about Ivan but doesn't realize that pushing Ivan away only hurt and wounded him more deeply. I think he only truly understood that fact once it was too late.

Till and Ivan both care for each other.

Just not in the same way.

#alnst #alien stage #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst till #alnst ivan #character analysis #i hope this makes sense #some of these things are things I've thought for a while #and others just kind of came to me as I wrote lmao #I enjoy both ships btw!#I just wish it was seen through...a less shallow lense?#I guess??#idk how to put it #ramble rumble

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angelicgirlmj · 2 months ago

Note

hi!! I was just wondering if you had any tips on growing your blog?

(asking for a side blog not main lol)

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ hi angel! this is a little bit of a tricky ask, just because i never really did anything to deliberately grow my blog, i just started making content that interested and inspired me and was able to grow a lovely community from that! here are some tips though that i would definitely have used if growing my blog was my aim:

have a cohesive theme or colour scheme. make your blog stand out and recognisable in every post!

make content or posts that you genuinely care about - the passion comes through.

find tags that you are interested in and see what kind of content is popular/does well on those and find inspiration.

use relevant tags when making posts.

find mutuals with similar interests/content as you!

interact with people who comment etc under your posts.

add cute visual details to your posts.

try and be original! experiment with new posts and content to find what works best for you.

do polls, encourage people to comment, ask for feedback and so on, build a community.

research and make sure your posts are detailed and well informed - be a source of information and help!

good luck angel!

love, m.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

#becoming that girl #girlblogging #girlhood #it girl #just girly things #that girl

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wangxianficfinder · 8 months ago

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Fic Finder

March 15th

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1. Looking for a post 1st seige burial mounds fic on ao3. It was a wip but it's been awhile so may no longer be the case. In it jc only participated in the siege as a cover to get close enough to his brother w/out endangering lotus pier. Since he leads the charge he finds wwx first and when wwx passes out after destroying the seal jc fakes wwx's death and smuggle him back to lotus pier & hides/kinda imprison him. But the longer they're together the more jc realizes a lot of the things he blamed wwx for aren't adding up (seeing through Jin manipulations).

Jc also forgot/didn't know about ayuan so when wwx wakes up he freaks out about where his baby adopted son is, but by the time jc gets back to bm yuan is no where to be found (implied lz had already got him) but jc and wwx think this means yuan is dead. Wwx is very depressed and becomes Jin ling's secret nanny whenever the kid is at lotus pier. In the most recent updates (at the time) a baby xue yang was introduced.

He saw a disguised wwx in a hidden area by lotus pier playing in the water and is basically like 'I'm cute and small too' and plots how to get himself adopted so he can also be pampered like the wealthy kid. I think there were some alternating povs. Might of been a Lan pov too, creating dramatic irony since both yuan and wwx are alive but neither side knows? Was setting up yunmeng bro reconciliation.

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2. I'm looking for a specific fic, it was modern, WWX took LWJ to a concert of post modern, like synth? Chinese music and I think NHS told WWX about it?? It had some good song recs and I'm mainly looking for the the songs- if you guys could help me out? Thank you!!!! @recombinantdna

NOT FOUND! The Quiet Room by trickybonmot (M, 39k, WangXian, Modern AU, 1990s, Goth LWJ, Cellist LWJ, College Student WWX, House Hunting, Dating, Clubbing, San Francisco, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Academic Disaster Aftermath, Getting Together, Repressed Teen Crushes to Strangers to Lovers, Homelessness, in the form of couch surfing, background NieLan) in which WWX finds LWJ being a DJ in a goth club in the 90s and it talks a lot about music. NHS is totally an enabler.

FOUND! show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, lwj/others, communication failure, mutual pining, artists, demisexual wwx, angst w/ happy ending) WY surprised LZ by bringing him to a performance of an artist LZ likes, H i d d e n f r a g r a n c e who plays electronic guqin. The sample songs can be found in the author notes in Chapter 10

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3. hi! im looking for a fic and the only thing i remember from it was wangxian (canon divergence, maybe arranged marriage but im not sure) in maybe caiyi?? sitting down at a noodle place, and there was a thing about how wwx loved the gusu dialect and kept pestering lwj to say something in the dialect, and he knew enough of the dialect to flirt or haggle so when lwj said an endearment term (i think it was something like sweetheart?) he froze and got all panicky about wwx recognising the word because he froze too, but then wwx just asks if he swore?? THANK YOU SO MUCH IF YOU FIND IT ive been combing my bookmarks and history for almost weeks now and im so close to thinking i made it all up

FOUND? Your Hand in Mine by cerbykerby (T, 20k, WangXian, Humor, Comedy, Pining, cursed to hold hands, Light Angst, Sharing a Bed, First Dates, Embarrassment, Fluff, bathing together, wwx is a menace to society, and lwj Suffers A Lot, Canon Compliant)

FOUND? Fentao-laoshi’s Guide to Cut-Sleeve Pleasures by occultings (microcomets) (E, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, pining while fucking, friends with benefits, first time, cloud recesses study arc, practice kissing, sharing a bed, jealousy, getting together, confessions, happy ending)

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4. For fic finder: I have lost a modern-au fic where Lan Zhan is in the hospital, in a children’s wing, and Wei Wuxian visits a lot/volunteers there. Wei Wuxian has prosthetic legs and he gets a new red pair around the point I lost the fic. I am pretty sure I found the rec through this blog but I can’t find it again TT Help please!

FOUND? 🔒 some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

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5. First, thank you for everything that you do ! Your posts and recommendations and "I'm in the mood for" collections have kept my heart and soul busy for years now! I am honestly in awe of all the hard work and time you dedicate to both pages! 🥰

Unfortunately I don't remember much of the summary of the fic I'm searching for, but I wanted to try my luck. 🙈 It was a light modern dom/sub fic where WY accidentally sort of turned LZ into a sub. I think by giving him indirect orders all the time? And nobody noticed until WQ pointed it out? I searched through Ao3 with the light dom/sub tag for ages and then eventually gave up.

Maybe it rings a bell for you? 🙏🤞❤️ @papperlapapp1

FOUND? And They Were Roommates! or The Accidental Domming of Lan Wangji by DizziDreams (E, 21k, wangxian, Dom WWX, Sub LWJ, inexperienced BDSM practices, un-/under- negotiated kink, horny climbing, horny cohabitation, horny on main except by main I mean at a party surrounded by innocent bystanders, Praise Kink, Masturbation, Bondage, Lingerie, Orgasm Delay/Denial, omg they were roommates, Modern, BDSM, debatably a bit of dom drop, Public Masturbation, Edging, Getting Together, WQ has to come in and straighten this shit out)

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6. Okay so looking for a fic where lwj or wwx accidentally summon incubus/succubus wwx or lwj. (I can't remember who was the sex demon or who was the human but it is a wangxian fic)

So, the succubus needs food and it is, unsurprisingly, cum. As in they have to literally eat cum to survive. So the human is followed by this succubus/incubus everywhere they go to including his university.

The human does love feeding the sex demon and even lets him feed in the uni bathroom during breaks.

Does a fic like this exist? Does it ring any bell?

FOUND? An Array of Good Decisions by celerydragon (E, 11k, WangXian, Demon Sex Size Kink, Size Difference, Consensual Non-Consent, dubcon, Tongue Sex, Omegaverse, Humiliation, Mild Breeding Kink)

FOUND? Lan Wangji's Fullproof Guide on How (NOT) to Summon a Demon by fardimensions (E, 3k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Porn With Plot, but not a lot of plot, Incubus WWX, Demons, wwx has a tail, Wings, Interspecies Sex, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Anal Sex, Crack, Filthy, size queen LWJ)

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7. for the fic finder: it's a fic (dom/sub canon au?) where wei wuxian gave lan wangji a collar before he died. lan wangji keeps the collar for as long as he can but eventually the leather is too old and it breaks. there's a bunch of sadness but all is well when wei wuxian resurrects.

thank you for all you do!!

FOUND? Breathe Again by Sheehan_sidhe (E, 4k, wangxian, Grief/Mourning, Depression, Breathplay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, POV LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, Submissive LWJ, Crying LWJ, Grieving LWJ, Collars, Angst with an Eventual Happy Ending)

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8. for fic finder: my heart tells me it was a modern/modern with cultivation au, but my searches have been fruitless. i just remember our beloved wangxian dancing around each other, and the juniors being there with a similar problem. specifically, jin ling being tested at archery, and sizhui Totally Only There For Emotional Support And No Other Reason.

FOUND? with you, I am home by tellthemstories (M, 47k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, fake dating for reasons, Meeting the Family, There Was Only One Bed, Casual Domesticity, wwx is oblivious in more ways than one, 'this fic is like emotional edging', this comment sums up the entire fic)

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9. heyI've been looking for a fic for a while.WWX and LWJ were in the turtle's cave of slaughter... they had no energy to fight and decided to do double cultivation.

When it comes to the part where WWX donates the golden core to JC.... during the surgery, WQ discovers WWX is pregnant, the double cultivation generated a uterus.

He is still captured by the Wen clan and thrown into the grave hill.He believes he lost the baby because of this and uses his resentful energy to survive and get revenge.

When he reaches the part at the end of the campaign where the sun falls, he goes into labor without knowing that he is still pregnant.

It's not Omegaverse.

Sorry if my writing is bad, english is not my first language @crazy-tai

FOUND? Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

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10. Hello! I was wondering if anyone here knew of a fic that took place during the Wen Indoctrination? If I remember right, it was only one chapter, set mostly in the Untamed universe because Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning had worked together to make it seem like he was dead for the Wens after being locked in with that dog, but he was grabbed too early and basically paraded in front of the other disciples under the belief that he was dead. If anyone else has seen this fic, I'd be extremely grateful!

FOUND!🔒💖 the universe would turn to a mighty stranger by RavenclawLoki (T, 11k, wangxian, Angst, Eventual Fluff, Some mentions of blood, it looks like someone is dead but!!, it is okay, everything is going to be okay i promise, First Kiss, Canon Divergence, Wwx and lwj know they're in love, They just don't know the other loves them back, Everyone Lives AU, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ)

~*~

11. For your next fic finder, I'm looking for a modern wangxian dating reality tv au. It's omegaverse and in the first half of the show, everyone is paired up, but in the second half of the show, it's wilderness survival with the alphas trying to catch the omegas. Wwx is a career omega who is trying to get a cash prize instead of an alpha. @leahlisabeth

FOUND? 🧡 shoot your shot – hot or knot by defractum (nyargles) (E, 51k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Reality Show, Hunger Games Setting, Canon-Typical Violence, Extremely Dubious Consent, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, Additional Warnings In Author’s Notes)

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12. Guys I need help finding this story. So it’s about Wei ying being hit by this memory yao. And he is in pain. So lan zhan, lan yuan, lan qiren, lan huan, Jin rulan, and jiang cheng. They use this spell to take Wei ying bad memories. They hold onto this bad memories because they don’t want Wei ying to go through all of that and remember. Ofc they are traumatized but they love him, etc. sooo please if you know the name write in comments. I have been looking for it for DAYS @zodime101

FOUND? Window of the Waking Mind by mrcformoso (M, 8k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, JC & WWX, Graphic depictions of violence, Major Character Death, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Torture, Golden Core Transfer, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, WWX Needs a Break, Flashbacks, Curses, Night Hunts, Suicide, Starvation, Canonical Child Abuse, Canonical Character Death, Cannibalism, Although it was forced by the situation to survive, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, lots of comfort, Soft LQR, Learning To Communicate, Zidian Spiritual Tool, JC Tries, Reaction)

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13. hi! for the next fic finder — it was sizhui centered! him being raised by lwj but also wwx, but wwx is a ghost. and wwx has no recollection of his death and there was this one scene where he curls up around ayuans body and falls asleep and he wakes in the cloud recesses and i think he thinks he's being ignored? and then there was the whole realizing he was a ghost thing. and also lwj burying his body at the bm. pls help me T^T its Not "the dark doesnt frighten me, its mine" btw!

NOT FOUND! the moon, grown full by Deinde (T, 22k, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Spirits, Identity Reveal, discussion of war crimes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Homecoming, reclaiming your name and identity, Names, Families of Choice)

FOUND! The Intervening Years by rosemu (G, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, LSZ centric, Parent-Child Relationship, Wangxian is background, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

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14. Hi! For fic finder: I am looking for a canon-era fic where cultivators have golden blood and regular people have red blood. When Wei Wuxian loses his core his blood fades to red, which means he has to work harder to hide his wounds or they will give away his core-less state. I particularly remember the scene where Jiang Cheng stabs him in their “mock” fight WWX hides his wound with a cloak. He takes to covering up his body fully from head to toe to avoid showing any scrapes. Then after he is revived and Jiang Cheng whips him he purposefully shows the red blood to “prove” he isn’t WWX, then I think the core reveal happens when Jin Ling stabs him and everyone knows its him and they see the red blood too. Thank you!!

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15. I need help finding a fic, I didn’t get too far into it but I really want to finish it. I think it was a longer fic and I think it’s well known and/or already in a comp or itmf answer. I i remember is that the summary put wwx as a temporary head of the Jiang Clan, from the first few chapters I think he’s tricked/strong armed into this position by JC. He had some Buisness at koi tower or a conference that would take a while so he needed a filler and wanted WWX. I think it’s post-cannon and it had someone insulting WWX in the summary and something along the lines of a statement of spite and a declaration to prove said person wrong.

This is likely a terrible description but it’s all I have. I know I got the og link from this site so someone should recognize it… Help would be greatly appreciated.

FOUND? Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

~*~

16. Hello! For the next fic finder I have two fics:

A) the only thing I remember about this fic is that it deals with the "do not speak with Wei Ying" rule. Lan Wangji was really angry when he found out and was about to go yell at his uncle, but Wei Wuxian kept trying to stop him. I remember Wwx threw himself into a pond or down a hill or something to snap Lwj out of it? I don't remember anything else about the fic unfortunately.

B) vampire au where Wwx was a vampire and the lans hunted the supernatural I think? Wangxian had to work together to stop some evil thing. I remember Wwx's backstory was something like: Wen Chao captured him and locked him in a room with a vampire, thinking it would result in Wwx dying (cultivators couldn't be turned into vampires, they would just die). But Wwx had given up his core so he got turned and Wen Chao locked him in a house with Wen Ning. There was a fire and Wwx turned Wen Ning to save his life. I also remember a scene where Wwx tried to go into Cloud Recesses, but the wards wouldn't let him. He thought this meant Lwj wanted nothing to do with him, but it was just Lan Xichen updating the wards or something.

Thank you!

16A)

FOUND?🔒Scenes From Three Winters by LtLJ (G, 12k, wangxian, post-canon, romance, family feels, family issues, family drama, PTSD, body horror, bad parent LQR, happy ending) Wei Ying throwing himself in a pond and down a hill to snap LWJ out of anger at his uncle sounds a lot like what happens at the end of Scenes from Three Winters by LtLJ but it's not specifically the 'do not speak to Wei Ying' rule that's the problem (will probably need to read other fics in the series for context)

16B)

FOUND?🔒hear the monsters calling home by sundiscus (M, 8k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Vampires, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, blood drinking (romantic))

FOUND? And you must keep your soul/ Like a secret in your throat by athena_crikey (E, 48k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Vampire WWX, Cultivator LWJ, Case Fic, h/c Angst, Falling In Love, First Time, Reference to Torture)

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17. Hi!! for the next fic finder, I was hoping of you guys could help me find a fic where it takes place in post canon: lwj cultivates to immortality even though he didn’t want to be and wwx tried hard to catch up to him but later on passes away bc he was never able to. Lwj was so devastated and during wwx’s funeral, jc came to pay respects and lwj found out that jc has also become an immortal. lwj says something along the lines of “how dare you cultivate to immortality with his core?” it might be a reincarnation fic but that’s about all i can remember from it. Thank you so much! @makkachiin

FOUND!🔒Closer Than Eternity by Netrixie (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, an unhealthy addiction to starbucks, Immortals, Self-Doubt, POV Alternating, Minor Original Character(s), Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, not for jc fans, This is not a reconciliation fic) The scene at WY's funeral is in Chapter 3.

~*~

18. Hi! I hope my request will be clear, since English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance. I really want to read it, but I can't find a fic in which Lan Sizhui dies on a night hunt, saving the distracted Lan Zhan and Wei Ying. I don't remember many details, but I remember how the grief of A-Yuan's family and friends was described, and then A-Yuan was reborn. The fic was on ao3. @amelliss

FOUND? Setting Of The Sun by heartsdesire456 (M, 8k, WangXian , Character Death, Or Is It?, Grief/Mourning, Child Loss, Heavy Angst) i don't think it's reincarnation but this sounds similar to

FOUND? Our Son Reborn by RenaFair (T, 103k, WangXian, Mpreg, Deities, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Slow Build, There's smut, Rollercoaster of Emotions, baby a-yuan)

~*~

19. hi, I’m look for a fic from ao3, I can’t really remember the plot but the end was wwx absorbing the tiger seal and in the process made a SILVER core. It happened in the burial mound (I think after the seal was stolen in Lanling but that might be a different fic)the timeline was before wwx’s first death because wen Qing was still alive @teasong

FOUND? ❤️ kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

~*~

20. Hello! I am looking for Wangxian fanfiction where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are lovers before Demonic cultivation and Wei Ying hurt Lan Zhan as in canon later the reunite after 13 years or something like that @abz18699-blog

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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indras-wife · 3 months ago

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Itsao-mine requested: “Can i request sasuke with uzumaki female s/o headcanon? But instead of uzumaki s/o, please make her half uzumaki uchiha. Thank you!”

Hi again cutie. Thank you for the request. It took me ages again to complete this request but yay its finally up. Sasuke isnt a character I write much about but I hope this is what you wanted. I decided to have his family alive in this one cause he deserves something good🎀 Your other request is coming too so stay tuned💖

Sasuke rarely noticed people he was studying with in the Academy. His team was the only exception where he was talking with them and acknowledging their existence. This however changes when one day he meets a girl his age in the academy. She was wearing the Uchiha crest but her chakra was different from his.

He slowly took interest in her, trying to understand what was up with her, and why her chakra was so different from his. When he realised that his investigation was leading nowhere he asked his older brother for help, to which Itachi easily agreed. Sasuke found out that she is actually a mix between two powerful clans, Uchiha and Uzumaki. Her father was a member of the Uchiha clan, while her mother was Uzumaki. Y/n, despite being Uchihas, had the red hair color which was a signature of Uzumaki.

Their first communication happened when both of them and their teams were sent to a mission together. Being from powerful clans, both of them were teamed together to aid their teammates in case an enemy attacked them. Sasuke found Y/n not only strong but also pretty. It surprised him because he hardly cared about girls but Y/n had some charisma and unexplainable power that was pulling Sasuke in. After the mission was completed, other members of both teams found it very interesting how both Uchihas communicated with one another even outside the mission. It was not a common thing to see since they both were what you would call ‘anti-social’.

Sasuke and Y/n started meeting and talking more when they had no missions. Both of their families were actually happy that the kids found common ground and made friends. They would train together too with Y/n trying to teach Sasuke some jutsus she learnt from her mother’s side. This would strengthen their bond even more than they expected. However this would not last long.

After some years both of them grew little apart as they had different paths in mind to follow. Sasuke became a member of the Uchiha Police, while Y/n honored her Uzumaki side and spent years training. Her mother was her role model and she wanted to do anything to make her proud. Sasuke and Y/n met in the village when Y/n was shopping. He recognised her instantly thanks to her hair color. It grew even longer than he remembered and Sasuke always loved her hair(as much as he wont admit it). As Y/n noticed him too they started talking with one another, reminiscing old times. Since Sasuke was on duty they agreed to meet after a few days and go for a walk.

Y/n was frankly happy to talk to him after such a long time of no contact. He grew taller and even more attractive. He was always attractive but now for some reason he seemed more in her eyes. She picked a beautiful dress with some comfortable short heels to wear for the walk. While she was getting ready, Sasuke was already on his way to her house. He was eager to see her, considering he didn't see her for years.

Their walk was full of interesting conversations, remembering about their younger years and both sharing about their experiences as they were away. Their meeting helped them understand that both of their presence was not inly pleasant but also needed. Both Uchihas shared a lot in common, and it kept bringing them closer. Sasuke tried to spend more time with Y/n, and Y/n was happy for it to happen.

Their friendship slowly progressed to a more romantic bond. They didnt needs words to understand the feeling each was experiencing was mutual. Their friendship changed to a romantic one in a single day, as Sasuke referred to her as his girlfriend.

Sasuke, as surprising as it was for others, preferred her company more than loneliness. They would have many dates, going out of the village together, even taking missions together. They knew about each other, their weakness,what they desired in life, what made them blush, what made them happy and many other things. Sasuke and Y/n were quickly becoming a famous couple in the village and everyone were waiting for the final moment: marriage.

#sasuke uchiha #uchiha sasuke #sasuke x reader

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sugar-and-pearls · 3 days ago

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Howdy ghouls, folks and dearie- ohs

My name is Hedone and I've been in this community for about three years now. I love it truly and wish never to be parted from it. But in that time I've noticed somethings. Like how it can be difficult to survive it, especially when your starting out I feel. So, to give back I made this;

This is your guide on how to make friends and survive the selfshipping community.

So with that out the way, there are some steps to survive.

Create -

In my view, self shipping is often a creative outlet as it is a comforting one. The ability to take a piece of media into my hands and shape it to my whims and will is often awe-inspiring. I'll admit it's easier to see it with other people than with ourselves.

So with this in mind - start off small, though if you want to go guns blazing you can do that too. It doesn't have to be a lot. If you feel embarrassed, don't be. If you are afraid then don't worry cus your definitely not alone there.

Often times it helps to make a promo. This way people who find you can know some quick facts; your title, your fos and any other bits of info you wish to give. Most people will want to know if you share an fo or not - whether this is in case they are uncomfortable with share or want to know if your comfortable with sharing. Whether you are or not is your choice.

'this user' boxes are a fun way to decorate and tell people about yourself. If your worried about how it looks, then make another one, there's no limit unless you make one. Some people make Cards for it. If that's intimidating, don't worry boo, this is Tumblr - you do you.

My first real post was about what it would be like my mind was like a house and what which fos would stay and which ones would come and go. I posted it three years ago and in all that time it has gotten 16 notes on it. Does that mean that I shouldn't have created it? no, no it doesn't. Because when I read it it makes me happy.

Do a gush post, make art, start 'reblog with your f/o' game, write stories, make a moodboard - start the flow on those creative juices.

interact -

I've seen a lot of people be nervous about talking to new people and I can tell you, I feel the same. Its daunting, talking to someone new and it can be awkward wading through the small talk. Most people are in the same boat as you; nervous and wishing to talk about their fos.

Instead of focusing on being popular, try and make friends instead, its much much more emotionally fulling than the first option. Find people with fos in the same source, and try and build it up from there. You'll find your weridos eventually - you just got to sieve though the rest first. You don't have to be best pals with everyone on there but be friendly.

If you recognise a character, why not send an ask? If you have a mutual in mind, why not try and talk with them? Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Doing content trades is a great way to interact with people (and boo if your worried or don't think your content is very good, don't be - we're all evolving here). Also if you can or just like to draw, you can make fanarts for a selfship you like or would like to be your mutual - like I said before, everyone on here just wants to talk about their fos here, all that is needed is a small push first.

With that in mind not everyone you talk to is going to like you, or interact the same way you do. Everyone has a style to themselves and that's ok - the trick is find someone who has the same, or a similar style as you. Even though we are interacting through a screen, remember that there is another person behind that screen; ask them how they're doing, what they're up to, if anything positive happen in their life.

Also be careful about the kinds of people you want to befriend- do they give back what you give first? Do they share your joy? You're bound to find many you click with, just be patient and don't give up - you got this 👍😊👍

Make Friends From All Walks Of The Community -

You'll never know who you're fandom buddy will be - Antis, proships, all are people and all have a different flavour to one another. Its up to you to pick. I've found that to survive here you have to lay roots. No man is an island after all. If you don't agree with a someone's ship or like it doesn't cost much to just be polite. Being considerate and kind to other people's selfships goes a long way round here.

Insecurity

Its pretty easy to feel intimidated by other's success. feeling like their ships are being validated while yours aren't (trust me here - I know what I speak of) but here's what you have to remember: We're all just people daydreaming about fictional characters - No one is better than you and you f/os will always love you!

This is one of the many reasons why building a foundation of fellow weridos is important, its good to have a someone that your able to lean on and vice versa.

But main point here is that no matter what, no one can take away your fos love for you nor your love for them. And if they try, flip them the 🖕 cus we don't give a 🦆

Karma -

I see a few newbies do this where they go onto someone's blog, reblog a game but not send in an ask from that game. If you reblog an ask game off of someone, sent in an ask from that game. Every little helps and it spreads the love around.

Tumblr is not like Instagram, likes are not the currency here. Reblog other people's art and moodboards and posts. Leave a comment in the tags about the things you like or what you felt like when you saw it, send in an ask about their post.

Remember that even though we are interacting through a screen, there is another person behind that screen; Wishing for the same things as you do.

Take Breaks

It can be tiring on here, takes up a lot of energy so taking breaks can be good for you.

It's not like your fos are going to run away the second you turn your back - come away from Tumblr for a bit and reconnect with the outside, touch some grass, take a walk outside for a while. Its can be for as long as you like. I usually find that I like to take these breaks when I have things planned, so like if I'm going somewhere or have a thing planned I generally just try and stay off Tumblr for as long as I can, till I really want to.

If you feel like your abandoning your fos then why not take them with you? what would they say when your outside? How would they react? What would you say back? things like that.

Like with many of my posts, I doubt it will get much attraction. But if one person sees it and it helps them, then that's my dues paid, my contribute made. A very special thank you to @echoes-lighthouse @wisemins @hibiscus-ships @tex-treasures @missnaunet @vanilla-ending, @multyshipping for all your tips and helps with making this post.

With that said, thank you for reading this and if you never see me again

Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry met Again.

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franklyimissparis · 7 months ago

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mr schwartz: a line-by-line queer-coded lyrical analysis

warning: this is quite long but mr schwartz is one of my favourite songs off the car album (and one of my favourites of alex’s in general) and i’ve ALWAYS read it as super queer but have yet to dive into precisely what makes it queer and the themes within it. it’s TRULY such an understated lyrical masterpiece.

Put your heavy metal to the test

- this is a play on words of the phrase ‘test your mettle’ which basically means to see whether or not someone will carry on through something that is difficult. immediately, this indicates that the relationship between alex and the other person is a difficult one and requires strength/determination to move forward with

- it also could refer to heavy metal music (which isn’t a very traditionally romantic genre) as is played off of in the next few lines

Might be half a love song in it all for you

- the phrase “half a love song” is particularly interesting to me as there are many ways to take it: it could be half a love song because it is unfinished or because it isn’t fully a love song (and both interpretations tie into other lyrics in the song)

- if we go down the route that it’s only half a love song because it isn’t fully a love song, it implies that there is more to the relationship than romance or that the song/relationship isn’t meant to be viewed (solely) through a romantic lens (but the other person may see it as such)

- whereas the idea that the song is unfinished could either suggest a lack of passion or the feeling that the story isn’t done yet.

- it could also communicate that the someone else needs to finish the song for alex - which is somewhat implied in the previous line. this could also indicate that, like alex, the other person gets musical inspiration out of their relationship

Timing wise, it’s probably for the best

- the use of “timing” ties in with the musical references but also highlights that the relationship is heavily tied to the timing of what’s going on in their lives (invoking “right person, wrong time” in a way)

- alex is acknowledging that because of forces outside of their control (i.e. time) it’s probably best they don’t pursue a serious relationship (or, like the previous line, a “full” love song)

Come here and kiss me now, before it gets too cute

- he’s asking his lover to quickly kiss him before they can let the moment become sweet, implying that, while he is fine with the physical aspect, the emotional side of things makes him uncomfortable

- musically, he also wants to avoid being cheesy or overly sentimental which ties in thematically with the ultracheese as well

- it’s important to note that this is also the only explicitly romantic line on the entirety of the car album: this (and the half a love song line) is the only line on the album that cannot possibly be read as platonic

Mr Schwartz is stayin’ strong for the crew

- here we switch to discussing the persona/character of mr schwartz, which as seen later, is obviously meant to be an extension/alter-ego of alex himself

- the reference to “staying strong for the crew” directly after talking about his lover implies that there is a conflict between the two: that staying strong for the crew entails keeping an emotional distance from his lover

- he recognises that those around him rely on him to keep up his persona to do their jobs (in this extended metaphor of a film set)

Wardrobe’s lint-rollin’ your velveteen suit

- alex is known to emphasise his personas via clothing choices and the velveteen suit is representative of that here. the crew removes any imperfections, like the lint, off of the suit (the persona)

- this also ties into alex’s obsession with perfectionism and control and how, though he is wearing the suit (i.e. persona), there is a mutual reliance between him and the “crew” to maintain his image

- also have to mention that velveteen is a rather untraditional material choice for something as traditional as a suit, there is a bit of a clash here between the two (a fully velveteen suit could also be seen as quite camp - and is also very 70s, which ties into eycte’s aesthetic too)

And smudgin’ dubbin on your dancin’ shoes

- dubbin makes leather softer and waterproof: again, others are trying to prevent damage from occurring to the persona

- this could also refer to the musical direction that the band has gone to in tbhc and the car: their music is softer and more contemplative than it was before, especially since ‘dancing shoes’ is also a song off of their first album. this could be commentary on how alex’s personas have evolved and the mixed reactions he’s gotten from his audience over it

Gradually, it’s coming into view

- we move from music imagery to film imagery with the line “coming into view”.. things were blurry or unclear before but he (or the other person) are slowly coming to realizations about their situation

It’s like your little directorial debut

- having a directorial debut suggests that this is the first time they are taking control of a situation and telling others what to do, they are directing someone else instead of being directed - with the word little being used to emphasise that this isn’t a massive change yet

- but he’s also directing himself to behave in a certain way: alex is directing his new persona, mr schwartz, in his debut

As fine a time as any to deduce

- to me this line also implies that this realisation has sort of been a long time coming, they’ve been through this cycle so many times that they might as well come to the realisation now

The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

- going into the next verse as well, this hints that alex and his lover have had struggles with seeing where alex ends and the persona begins and have also never been able to get their relationship right as a result

And if we guess who I’m pretending to be

- here he is confirming what is obvious: alex is mr schwartz and the persona is clearly differentiated from himself as “pretending”. alex and his lover are both keenly aware that mr schwartz is a persona which almost becomes a joke to them in the next line

Do we win a prize?

- alex pokes fun at how obvious it is to him and his lover that mr schwartz is a character but i think he’s also pointing out here: do we get anything out of the persona that i’ve created?

- he’s questioning, perhaps for the first time, if in the end keeping the persona up will be worth it to him and his lover or if it is all meaningless

Having attempted twice, both incorrectly

- okay so obviously the majority of us reading this are immediately going to go to a certain side project of alex’s and the two albums they’ve released (with talk of there being a third to complete the trilogy)

- this suggests that there have been two attempts at happiness between him and his lover but both times there was something fundamentally wrong with the relationship that caused them to drift, which is likely related to the act that he is putting on

Do we get a third try?

- the phrasing on this line is interesting as well as alex doesn’t ask his lover directly like “can we have a third try?” instead, he poses this question more existentially: will a third try be given to the two of them? it implies that he and the other person aren’t in control of their situation to some extent, they have to rely on being given chances by others.

- though this also could be interpreted as alex shirking responsibility of the situation onto others instead of being straightforward. he simultaneously wants and does not want control.

The gloved hand’s reachin’ in to hit the switch

- by wearing gloves, there is the desire to avoid leaving fingerprints/evidence of the relationship. and because the hand is gloved it is intentionally anonymous: is it alex’s hand? mr schwartz’s? the other person’s? or someone outside of things meddling in the relationship?

- interesting also that a switch is a binary thing: either on or off (gay or straight, platonic or romantic, alex or mr schwartz) ignoring the possibility of things being on a more complicated spectrum as is implied earlier (“half a love song”)

- hitting the switch is sometimes used as a euphemism for triggering a permanent change but can also be seen as a temporary action (the switch can be endlessly turned off/on), highlighting the back and forth in their relationship.

There’s not one goddamn thing that you can do about it

- this is the only time alex curses in the song which highlights how frustrating the persona and lack of power can be

- he feels stuck in the situation, just continuously flicking the switch between persona and reality, and indicates that his lover is also likely frustrated at this too. though they want to help fix the situation, they can’t, or at least they feel like they can’t

But Mr Schwartz is havin’ tea with the grips

- again, he’s switching back and forth between the real him and mr schwartz: while alex is frustrated and insecure about the lack of control in his life, mr schwartz charms those around him and takes hold of the situation

- more film imagery with mentioning the grips (those who help with camera and lighting equipment on a film set): to me, this line is fascinating as we’ve seen that everyone (including the crew) is working towards keeping the mr schwartz persona up and through the metaphor of the film set they are creating something imaginary, however, behind the scenes the grips still get to be real people with real families while alex, or mr schwartz, has to continue to keep the persona up.

Askin’ after all the wives and the kids

- the use of the phrase “askin’ after” instead of “talking about” etc. implies that the question is not mutual: mr schwartz is not being asked about his wife/kids because he does not have any and the others know it. yet he knows that it is important that he shows interest in their nuclear families. this is also clearly commentary on how alex is the only unmarried and childless member of the band

- it could be seen as him directing conversation away from his personal life: focusing on others and letting them talk is more comfortable than discussing yourself honestly and breaking the act

It’s at the heart of what the business is

- the final line of the song breaks down the essence of why the persona is kept up: ultimately, it is a business decision. alex understands how closely tied together business and personal lives are as a celebrity and is invested in the persona to keep the two separate, though by choice or force is up for debate

- also poses the question of whether or not he’s genuinely interested in their lives or if it is just business to him. it could be read as bittersweet in the sense that the heart of the business is human connection, but if you don’t conform you aren’t allowed to drop the act without punishment

- finally, this line also ties back to “staying strong for the crew”: he has to keep up the persona so that the ‘crew’ can continue to work and take care of their families. and hearing about them is both a reminder of what he is denying himself and what is at stake for the others.

to summarise: alex is torn between putting on the straight persona of mr schwartz and being truly himself within the fractured relationship he has with his lover - which has been heavily influenced by external and internal pressures. gee i wonder who the song is about (rhymes with schmiles schmane.)

#may do some other songs bc this was fun #it took me way too long though 😭😭#if you made it to the end you’re insane and i love you #if anyone has any requests let me know lmao #alex turner #the car era #the car album #arctic monkeys #miles kane #milex #the car #mr schwartz #tlsp #lyric analysis #queer-coded lyrical analysis

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cult-of-the-eye · 9 months ago

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LEMME HEAR YOUR UNHINGED TMA RANTS! <3

Oooh I think I've already posted a lot of my rants but one of the characters who I haven't really had a whole rant on is Martin K blackwood.

THIS MAN. This man is so wonderfully written. A lot of characterisations of the "nice one" are quite flat and don't really expand much on them being nice apart from maybe giving the person low self esteem. What I love about Martin is how masterfully it uses that sort of prototype of a character and makes it much more gut wrenching and relatable. He starts off as sort of the office dunce from Jon's pov, which early on we also realise is unreliable. He's the bumbling idiot, the sweet fool and I get it. As a fat person, I feel like a lot of us feel pressured to be the comic relief or to put it more precisely, the one to be laughed at. And he's seen the gap in the archives, he's seen that role that needs to be filled and he's easily filled it. When you have the group of Tim and Sasha and then Jon, the only thing that could unite them is mutual awkward laughter towards Martin. And Martin is used to seeing what's there and filling the gaps, man is a people pleaser to a fault, he has had to guess what his mum didn't like about him and change accordingly, getting it wrong every time. He makes himself palatable which is so REAL especially for a fat person and/or traumatised people.

And then we see this more calculating side of him. He LIED to all his colleagues and his BOSS about a qualification to get a job and then kept that lie going for at least a couple of months. Listen, I don't think it's fair to label Martin as completely a manipulative calculating guy who's just put on a mask but it's also not exactly fair to characterise him as just a sweet, tea making guy who wears jumpers. And that's what I love about him. He's so complex. I feel like it delves into the idea of having both a saviour complex as well as an inferiority complex. He's had to make choices that are above his skillset early in his life and frequently, he's been blamed for causing other people's emotions so he naturally thinks he has control over how other people feel. Which gives him that sense of responsibility, like I can save anyone cause I can control their emotions, if I'm nice enough then they won't be mad/ill/sad/they'll love me. But at the same time, these sort of underhand methods of indirect communication don't resonate to him as causing any damage cause he doesn't actually think he's important enough to cause damage or have an impact on other people's lives

I don't think it's of any shock to anyone that my favourite Martin is angry Martin. It's the part that fights against both aspects of this inferiority/saviour complex because it 1. Is a path of direct communication. He has the opportunity to state exactly how he is feeling and the focus is on that rather than how can I get the other person to respond. 2. It recognises that he is important. Anger is in response to perceived injustice, frustration, annoyance and all of those things are in a way, self preserving. Obviously it's not good to do that too much (see: Tim Stoker) but there you go. I'm not saying angry Martin is perfect or anything but I'm saying that it's so satisfying and interesting to see cause it completely goes against the characterisation we've been given so far and it introduces a whole new facet to Martin - that he doesn't want to be ruled by his trauma and past experiences.

It's honestly a joy to see Martin develop into someone who fights more against the role he's been "given" while simultaneously playing into it. His whole Peter Lukas arc is very much a part of that. Essentially he's saying I'm not important enough to contribute the way you are (inferiority) but I'm still going to try and control things behind the scenes (saviour). So when Jon goes to save him it breaks that, he looks him in the eyes and tells him you, Martin K Blackwood are Important, you make an impact and you Mean Something. You don't have to save us all. It's such an important part of his character arc and honestly it blows me away every time I think about it.

Plus obviously the whole isolation thing is just so AGH it's just so built in to his character it makes complete sense that he has a tendency to isolate himself. It fulfills both the inferiority and saviour - he doesn't think he's important enough to be missed but also he feels like it'll push them into missing him. Solving the problem and putting himself down in one fell swoop.

Our final stage of Martin is one that is far from perfect, far from healed but absolutely closer than he was at the beginning. He shows more of himself, in working towards realising he makes an impact on people, telling jokes and just sharing his thoughts to Jon. So what does him stabbing Jon mean for this? Honestly I'm not entirely sure (I'm gonna be honest I did not realise this rant would be so long lol) but I'm thinking along the lines of this is an ultimate show of acceptance of his significance and rejection of his need to save people. He is committing the most direct act of all, he's doing this in the same need to help people but instead of being manipulative about it, he's just directly doing what needs to be done. But also he's not saving Jon, he's doing the complete opposite. He couldn't control Jon's response to the situation, as much as he wanted to, so he did what jon wanted. I might not be explaining this right cause I'm not entirely sure what I mean either but I'm trying to say it's a poetic end. It's separate from everything he was but in a way that's parallel to and pays homage to his struggles. He's still being sort of a saviour and he's still arguably not the most important person in this scenario but the point is that it's in a different way than he's used to. In my opinion, a better way.

Anyway yeah thank you for enabling me, I didn't know how much I needed this rant and I didn't know I had so much to say lol. <3

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #tma character analysis #character analysis #martin kartin blackwood #martin blackwood #tma martin #tma martin blackwood #answered asks

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cinnamongorll · 10 months ago

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a fragile line - chapter 17

read on ao3! (111k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

Fic synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Word count: 5k

Chapter 17: 'Nothing Fucks With My Baby (NFWMB)'

The following afternoon, approaching Juliet’s old community.

Joel's POV:

Joel was familiar with the spark of awareness that spread across his skin when a gun was trained on him. The burning feeling that flashed down his arms, the tightening of his muscles, the ire that wrapped around his heart, squeezing tight. Joel welcomed that feeling; he craved it sometimes. The adrenaline that shot through his bloodstream, sharpening his mind, strengthening his body, and then he would move: disabling those who shot at him, or shooting back. Whether it was the sick crunch of their necks, at the cold mercy of his arms, or a bullet through their skulls, Joel would do the job. He would stand over his latest killing, breathing heavy, as he relished in the stillness of their chests and the knowledge that he would live another day.

Joel was never afraid of staring down the barrel of another’s gun, not until Juliet.

Four men stood before them, each holding up a shotgun. They were quick, quicker than Joel had expected when he noticed the watchtower over the edge of the fence. Seconds later, they had opened the gate and circled Joel and Juliet like wild cattle. Joel had grabbed Juliet’s arm and pulled her behind him, his gut twisting when he couldn’t protect her from every angle the men had positioned themselves in. The adrenaline had started to pound through his body, the roar of blood rusher in his ears as his fingers pressed deeper into Juliet’s arm. Her head whipped around them, the loose waves of her dark hair smacked against the arm of his jacket. Joel knew he had to do something, had to think of some way to defend her, to keep her safe. But they were out of ammo and outnumbered. With Juliet’s body pressed against his, his usual confidence was gone, fear was now his most prominent emotion.

“Don’t move!” one of the men shouted, he was tall with ginger hair, almost covered by the dark hood he wore.

Joel had to say something, explain that they didn’t want any trouble, that this was some misunderstanding. He had assumed they would recognise Juliet but the men in front of him only had a cold hunger in their eyes. For more than just their blood, Joel thought, going by the frailness of their bodies.

“Stop!” a voice cried out, “It’s me, It’s Juliet!”

Joel’s head turned to the woman pressed against his back. All four of the men froze, their creeping movements forward paused as their eyes scanned Juliet’s body from head to toe. Seconds later, recognition flared in their eyes.

“Juliet?” the ginger one gasped out, his eyebrows pinched together as his hands unconsciously began to lower his shotgun. The other men followed his actions, peering closer at Juliet.

She pulled away from Joel, putting at least a foot between them. That sick feeling in his gut worsened, he wanted desperately to pull her back against him, to wrap her in his arms, throw her over his shoulder and get the hell out of here. For what was supposed to be a homecoming for Juliet, she looked undeniably terrified. But she was still the woman he knew, so Juliet straightened her back, wiped her expression of any fear and transformed her mouth into a relieved smile.

“Thank god we made it,” she gasped, her voice pitched higher than usual. “Thought we’d be in that forest forever,” Juliet continued, laughing as she spoke.

Juliet had this unique ability to camouflage herself. He hadn’t noticed it back in the QZ, when he would watch her from a distance throughout their shifts together, listening to the conversations she had with other workers. But journeying across the country together, just the two of them… Joel had a front row seat to the several masks Juliet carried with her. When they had run into those men in the supermarket: she became this ruthless killer, practically begging to kill the men who had kidnapped that girl. Back at the gas station, Joel blinked and Juliet had become Blake’s loyal servant, giggling and fluttering her eyelashes.

And the night before, when he had her pressed against that tree, watching as the cruel motions of pain, regret and terror had rippled in her eyes… Joel watched as Juliet lied to his face.

She had promised him that this place was safe, ‘the safest place for her,’ she had said. But Joel had watched that mask fall over her features, he had watched the sparkling light go out in her eyes as her voice numbly uttered those words.

“Fuck , Juliet,” one of the other men drawled, shaking Joel from his thoughts. “Thought you were dead,” he said, shock flickered across his face as he, too, lowered his shotgun.

Joel stiffened, more pieces added to the never ending puzzle of Juliet’s life.

Juliet shrugged and raised her arms, a picture of cool indifference. “Guess not,” she replied with a small smile, then her eyes quickly lifted to Joel’s face.

Joel’s eyes bore into her, she blinked and looked away.

The men dotted around them were shocked, not by her words, but by her attitude. Their eyes slowly trailed down her body to her hands now perched on her hips. When their gazes eventually made their way back up to her face, the men’s eyes had an appreciative glaze coating them, like they were looking at something appetising.

Joel wanted to rip their eyes from their skulls.

Juliet shifted under their intense stare, moving her arms across her chest. “My father’s expecting me,” she announced, lifting her chin.

At the mention of her father, the men stood up straighter, like a barrel of water had been tossed over their heads. They glanced at each other, a couple of them nodding towards the fence, passing an excruciatingly silent conversation between them. Joel’s hand curled with unrestrained rage. When he didn’t know what was happening, when he didn’t know how to protect Juliet, Joel always turned to anger.

Joel stepped closer to Juliet, his hand hovering over her shoulder. It looked like he was claiming her, asserting some connection to her.

The men noticed his movement, and the scowl that covered his mouth. The ginger one nodded down to Juliet. “Who’s this guy?” he asked, as if he had only now noticed him next to her.

Before Joel could answer, Juliet fortified her masked expression then pointed her thumb towards Joel.

“Oh, this is Joel,” she answered, “he got me here in one piece in exchange for some supplies.”

The men looked at each other, their eyebrows raised.

“That right?” the ginger one questioned.

“That’s right,” Juliet said, stepping closer to the hooded man. Joel had to fight his arm to not grab hold of her and drag her back to him.

“I know my father would do anything for my safe return, so you will get this man whatever he would like,” she ordered, tilting her head to the side with a cunning smile.

The ginger one swallowed and stepped back again, nodding to the men on his right. Joel followed his gaze as two of them headed back to the fence.

“Alright,” he agreed. “But we gotta search you first, no weapons inside the fence.”

Joel had expected this, he was out of ammo anyway, but he wasn’t about to lose his knife. Juliet had assured him this place was safe, that she would be safe here, but he’d yet to see any proof. He eyed her, waiting to see how she would react to the man’s orders. Joel was following Juliet’s lead here.

She turned her head towards Joel, titling her chin down in a firm nod while avoiding his eyes. Joel swallowed, clenching his teeth, as he pulled his backpack off his shoulder and started to pull out his weapons. One of the men came to stand before him, his hand outstretched expectantly.

Joel pushed his gun into the man’s hand, then dropped his bag to the ground to be searched.

When he turned towards Juliet, he almost lost it.

She stood tall with her arms above her head as the ginger one patted her down, his hands roaming down to her waist. Every muscle in Joel’s body locked up and he had to force himself to not pull his knife out. When his hands began to roam down her legs, Joel had had enough.

“Watch it,” Joel growled, his voice lethal. The man’s movements halted before he reached Juliet’s ankle. His hands left her body and he turned towards Joel, ready to give him an earful about the rules of the community, but his smug smile disappeared the second he met the fury burning in Joel’s eyes.

The man straightened, picked up his gun from the ground, and took two steps back from Juliet.

Joel didn’t break his stare, even as the other man began to pat him down. Their technique was severely lacking because he clearly missed the knife in his inside pocket. When he was done, he turned back to the ginger one and nodded. “They’re good.”

The ginger one turned his body towards the fence, then nodded back at the other man. “Let’s get them to Elijah,” he said.

His words made Joel stiffen, there was something menacing about their tone. Nothing about this felt right, nothing about this whole situation felt like a daughter returning home to her loving father. Elijah’s name fell from the man’s lips like a warning. Joel was growing uneasy.

Juliet had started to move forward, slowly following the men towards the fence. Her footsteps were stilted, her posture tight.

When she realised Joel wasn’t following, she turned towards him and pulled her lifeless gaze up to meet his intense stare. Behind his dark eyes, Joel’s mind was buzzing with indecision. He could take her away from here; he was coming to realise that he would go anywhere, take her anywhere, as long as she could be by his side. But that wasn’t his decision to make, and they had a deal. He curled his hands into fists as his jaw tightened.

Juliet’s eyebrows furrowed, her mouth opening and closing as she considered what to say. Then she swallowed and shook her head, the movement subtle. “It’ll be okay,” she said with a small smile which didn’t reach her eyes. Her voice was almost a whisper but her words screamed in Joel's ears, raising the hairs on his arms, tightening his already tense jaw.

Joel moved forward, his hand outstretched. He didn’t know what he was going to do but his heart was crying out for him to grab hold of her arm, pull her back to his side and run.

The fence ahead of them could have been the fiery gates of hell from Juliet’s haunted expression.

But just as his feet began to creep towards her, a voice called out.

“Come on!” the ginger one shouted, standing beside the other man at the open gate. His words made Juliet jump and her eyes pulled away from Joel’s. Joel had stopped moving, now standing still beside her. He looked down at Juliet, searching her face for a hint of indecision, for a sign that she was unhappy with her choice to return home. He wouldn’t take her unwillingly, but with one desperate word from her lips, he would steer her away from his place.

She said nothing more. Joel watched as Juliet straightened, running her trembling hands over the straps of her backpack, and started walking towards the fence, quicker this time. Her feet moved with a new, desperate urgency.

That feeling in Joel’s gut was almost unbearable, it felt like a combination of every time he was forced to watch tears fill Juliet’s eyes, when he had to see her in pain. Joel followed her retreating steps, then he began to move quicker, hastening his stride to catch up with her.

He would follow her anywhere, even for the last time.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Juliet’s community was a ghost town.

As they walked down the street, flanked by the two men, Joel could only hear the sounds of their footsteps hitting the cracked concrete. Every house they passed was silent, there was no sound of laughter, no conversations drifting in the wind. Joel would have thought they were empty, if he hadn’t noticed the occasional twitch at a curtain. When his eyes would follow the movement, the curtain immediately fell. These people were scared. Of him? Or was it something else? Someone else?

He glanced at Juliet as they walked side by side, his gaze drifted over her face, searching for any hint that she, too, was shocked by the town’s emptiness. He found nothing in her expression, her face was tight as she stared ahead. She didn’t look around, didn’t move her head at all. Her steps even unconsciously moved around the larger cracks in the road.

Juliet knew exactly where she was, and exactly where she was headed.

With every step, Joel’s hands clenched tighter into fists, his knuckles growing a stark white against his tanned skin. His anger was simmering on his skin, waiting for something to happen, waiting for an opportunity to release the fear that boiled inside him.

He was getting really sick of the two idiots beside them. They weren’t prisoners, this was Juliet’s home, they didn’t need escorts.

Another five minutes passed as they made their way through the haunted streets. Joel noticed that Juliet’s steps began to slow. Her gaze was still locked in front of her, but her body had visibly tensed. Joel’s head turned, searching for a threat as he moved closer to Juliet. Seconds later, the loud screech of a rusted hinge cut through the eerie silence as a door swung open. Joel’s eyes followed Juliet’s wide stare to the house at the end of the street.

An older man stepped through the front door, the wood was cracked and the remaining blue paint was almost completely faded. He was followed close behind by the other two men they had met at the fence. Joel watched as Juliet’s entire body flinched.

When they reached the house, they stopped. Joel and Juliet were now surrounded by the four men and the new figure who had begun to stride down the porch steps to greet them.

The first thing Joel noticed was his stare. His eyes ran over Joel, a flicker of confusion darting across his face before his piercing gaze landed on Juliet. The man didn’t appear surprised to see her, instead, for a brief moment, he almost looked enraged, like the sight of her had triggered some habitual response. It was gone as quick as it appeared, and the older man’s features morphed into a combination of relief, shock, and delight. His eyes lit up as he scanned Juliet from head to toe.

“Juliet, you’ve returned!” he choked out, before striding down the remaining steps and heading towards her. His arms were outstretched, ready to wrap around her.

When he was just a few steps away, Joel moved, stepping in front of Juliet. The man, Elijah, Joel presumed, staggered to a stop. Joel hadn’t meant to interrupt this reunion but every protective instinct he had for Juliet kicked into gear. His thoughts had faded to a dull murmur in his head, Joel’s every action was driven by pure instinct, that gut feeling had forced his feet to move, to shield Juliet. Still, a distant part of his brain wondered why he felt this way? Why was he so determined to protect Juliet? Why was it so hard to let go?

Joel buried that thought deep in his head, and shifted his stance, ready to face whatever Elijah would send his way. He couldn’t think about why, all he knew was that Juliet was under his protection right up until the last second of their time together. And this man didn’t look unwell, didn’t look like he was at all close to death as Juliet had made him out to be. Her story was unravelling with every second they spent in this town.

Elijah’s eyes trailed over Joel, raising his head to scan Joel’s fierce expression, and tilting his chin to examine him right down to his worn boots. Joel didn’t flinch, he returned an equally weighted stare, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes dark.

Juliet was strangely silent, she made no move to step around Joel or greet her dad. Joel was right: something was really off about this. Before Joel could turn to her, to assess her expression and try to form some kind of plan in his head, Elijah broke the tense silence.

“Julietttt,” he called, in an almost musical tone, tilting his head to see beyond Joel’s hulking form. “Who is this?” Elijah asked softly, moving his hands behind his back in a stance of pure apathy. His men had begun to move closer, Joel noticed their hands twitching towards the guns hanging from their shoulders. Their eyes kept darting to Elijah like they were waiting for some signal. Joel only had his knife and he wasn’t stupid enough to think he could go against four young men with a shotgun each, and whatever Elijah had on him. Joel had to be smart about this.

But Joel didn’t get a chance to think, to plan, because a second later, Juliet stepped out from behind him and walked straight up to her father. She looked confident, happy even to see her father after such a long time, a quiet smile had graced her mouth. But Joel saw the slight falter in her steps and the tremble of her fingers as she wrapped them around the straps on her shoulders.

“Joel got me here, I’ve promised him weapons, food and a vehicle for my safe return,” Juliet said, her voice clear and authoritative. “I told him about your generosity, father, I hope this is alright?” she added, a slight quiver forming in her words.

If Elijah was surprised at all, or angered by her request, he didn’t show it. Instead, a smile overtook his mouth and he nodded firmly. “Of course!” he declared, and turned to face Joel. His grin didn’t falter as his pale eyes met Joel’s dark gaze. “Thank you, Joel, for returning my daughter to me,” he said, but the smile that marked his face didn’t reach his cold eyes.

Joel tried to catch Juliet’s eye but it was obvious her mind was far beyond his reach. Her eyes were vacant, another mask had veiled her true feelings. Or maybe this was her true reaction, maybe there really wasn’t anything to fear. Joel had judged the community by its barren appearance, but it didn’t look dangerous, there were no outward threats that he could find, just a lingering feeling of dread.

Joel nodded, and clenched his teeth so hard he thought he’d chip a tooth as he watched Elijah step forward and wrap his arms around Juliet. At first, Juliet’s entire body froze but, after a second, her arms reached up, returning the embrace. Joel had to look away.

When they pulled away from each other, Joel noticed that Elijah kept a firm grip on Juliet’s arm.

“James, Sean, take Joel to the armoury and let him take his pick. We have more than enough to spare,” Elijah ordered, turning to two of the men. They looked pissed.

“You can stay here tonight, if you wish, we wouldn’t send a fellow survivor out into the dark,” Elijah added, with a laugh. “There is a room above the bar, James and Sean will show you.”

Joel hadn’t even noticed the night approaching, he was too preoccupied with watching every flicker of emotion that crossed Juliet’s face. Juliet was staring at him now, waiting to see what his answer would be. Joel’s eyes drifted down to Elijah’s fingers circling her wrist, his firm grip tightened when he noticed Joel’s attention.

That simmer of rage began to burn, there was an inferno swirling within him now, desperate for an outlet. But he had no right, there was no concrete proof that this place was unsafe. It was creepy, yes, but Juliet had given him no indication that she needed saving. Joel would respect that, but he still searched her eyes, looking for a hint of fear behind the vacant mask she wore.

Joel realised they were waiting on his answer and he nodded, his chin dipping in one hard movement. He would stick around tonight, make sure he could stomach leaving her here.

“Fantastic,” Elijah said, his smile subtly shifting to a grimace as he turned to Juliet. “Shall we, my sweet Juliet,” he drawled, moving to tug her towards the house. At the sound of his endearment towards her, Juliet‘s whole body flinched. She looked like she had been slapped across the face. For one brief moment, her mask slipped, and Joel saw a spark of terror in her eyes.

“Stop,” Joel called, his eyes didn’t leave Juliet.

“Yes?” Elijah asked, turning back towards him, one eyebrow raised.

Joel ground his jaw, hard. “I wanna say goodbye,” he answered, his voice like steel as he tilted his head towards Juliet.

The look in Elijah’s eyes was murderous, but his grin didn’t falter. He shrugged and released his grip on Juliet's arm, one tight finger at a time. Joel finally allowed himself to take a deep breath.

Juliet walked over to him, her steps were slow. When she reached him, Joel titled his head down towards her, his eyes scanning her face. After a moment, he saw something thaw in her cool stare. Joel could feel Elijah’s eyes on them, so he kept his voice low. “Thought you said your dad was sick?” he asked quietly.

Juliet bit her lip. The movement startled Joel, his gaze flickered down to her mouth, then back up to the deep brown of her eyes. “He is,” Juliet insisted as she shifted on her feet, then crossed her arms over her chest.

“Just say the word and we can go,” Joel stated, his words barely legible as he struggled to keep his voice low and his rage contained. Juliet looked shocked, her eyebrows pinched together as he stared up at him. “I -” she started, then stopped herself and turned to glance at her dad. When her gaze returned to Joel, she swallowed and shifted her arms, tightening her hold on herself. “Thank you, Joel. For everything,” she whispered and squeezed her eyes shut. When she opened them again, her eyes had turned glossy. “I’m home now… go find your brother,” Juliet murmured with the gentle curve of a smile, then uncrossed her arms and reached her hand down to Joel’s. Her small hand slid over his rough fingers and squeezed… then she was gone.

Before Joel could even blink, Juliet had slipped away, her quick steps striding back over to Elijah. Joel could still feel the heat from her touch on his skin as he watched Elijah grip her shoulder and lead her up the steps towards the large house. The wood had rotted in multiple places and some windows were entirely frosted. It took every ounce of his control to not follow her, not run after them and rip her from her father’s grip. Joel resisted every primal instinct screaming within him.

“Let’s go,” one of the men, James or Sean, said to him as they walked past Joel’s frozen form. “Armoury’s this way.”

Joel felt himself nod, but he couldn’t look away from that house. The rage trapped inside him had transformed into ice. Glacial shock now flowed through him, stiffening his muscles, piercing his heart.

“Now or never,” the voice called again, shaking Joel from his trance. He turned, finally pulling his eyes away from the old house. He rubbed a hand over his jaw and nodded at the men.

As they made their way down the darkening street, leaves crunching underfoot, Joel couldn’t help but feel that he was walking away from a part of himself he hadn’t even realised still existed after so many years surviving in the wasteland of this world.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

About an hour later, after they showed Joel his gifted supplies (which he would collect in the morning), James and Sean led Joel to the town’s ‘bar’.

Joel didn’t agree with that term.

What he stepped into was the renovated bottom floor of a decrepit building which appeared to be the remains of an old store. It was dull, the only light came from hanging bulbs in a few areas of the room. The back wall was shelved with rows and rows of bottles of varying size and colour behind a long counter and mismatched stools. The rest of the room was filled with an odd mix of tables and chairs. Joel was surprised to see most of them filled. This was where everyone was, apparently.

Eyes followed him as he walked through the room, towards the man tending the bar at the back wall. Voices hushed and fingers pointed, but Joel ignored it all. Once he was seated on one of the stools, his near empty backpack on the floor, Joel leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands. The murmurs had picked up again and Joel allowed the noise to drown out the screaming thoughts inside his head. When the bartender approached, Joel ordered a whiskey with the intention of numbing that twisting feeling in his chest.

The bartender eyed him with confusion but Joel wasn’t going to explain his presence, let them all be wary of him, he thought. Joel was afraid he would start punching if someone got too close to him right now, if someone tried to ask him why he was here.

A glass of whiskey was slid over to him and Joel downed it in seconds, his head tilted back as the cold glass grazed his lips and the hot burning liquid poured down his throat.

The glass hit the table with a thud when he brought it back down, his hand gripped it tight. Joel was tempted to see how much force he could apply before it began to shatter. He would welcome the pain, he craved a distraction from the turmoil raging inside him.

Joel contemplated a second drink, maybe if he kept drinking it would keep him from stalking over to Juliet’s house and throwing her over his shoulder.

Just as he began to gesture towards the bartender, the man’s face dropped in shock. His mouth hung open and his eyes widened as he stared over Joel’s shoulder. Joel raised his eyebrows, and moved to turn, searching for whatever had spooked him.

At that moment, Joel noticed a man striding towards him, pushing his way through the many patrons. He was young, probably around Juliet’s age, his hair was slicked back behind his ears and murder danced in his eyes. Joel stood, bracing himself as the young man marched straight for him.

“This him?” the man barked towards the bartender, as he continued to eye Joel. The bartender stood with wide eyes, but he managed a nod in response. Joel’s eyes flickered between the both of them as he shifted his stance, subtly moving his feet into a fighting position while the young man took those last few steps towards him. A second later, the younger man threw himself at Joel, gripping his shoulder with one hand and pulling the other back to land a punch. He didn’t succeed, Joel growled and caught the man’s hand in his fist, twisting it at an unnatural angle and pulling it behind him. Before the man could retaliate, Joel had both of his hands pinned behind his back and he pulled him against his chest. Joel was breathing heavy as the man continued to struggle in his grip, he was no match for the strength Joel possessed.

Some men in the bar had stood up, their chairs scraping against the floor while they watched, but no one moved to help. At once, murmurs started to travel through the bar as the men pointed, not towards Joel this time, but towards the man restrained against him.

“You’ve killed her,” the man in his arms began to hiss. “You fucker, you’ve killed her.”

Whatever buzz the whiskey had given Joel was completely gone.

The bartender finally awoke from whatever shocked daze he was held in and he caught Joel’s eye. “Bring him this way,” he instructed, moving towards a door along the side of the back wall.

Joel snarled and gripped the man tighter, ignoring the words he gasped out, and pulled him through the door after the bartender.

When they entered the backroom, the bartender pulled the man free from Joel’s grip and pinned him against the wall. Joel staggered back, gasping out a ragged breath. “The hell you talkin’ about?” he demanded, facing the young man now held against the wall.

“Juliet,” the young man gasped. “You’ve killed her.”

Joel swore he saw red flash across his vision. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife as he stalked closer to the man. He had stopped struggling, falling limp in the bartender’s grip. As Joel got a better look at him, he finally noticed his appearance. The man’s face was gaunt, purple circles darkened the skin under his eyes, and his hair hung limp over his face, the greasy strands no longer tucked behind his ears.

“If you don’t start explainin’ right fucking now, this is goin’ in your throat,” Joel growled, lifting his knife to make his point. The man pressed himself harder against the wall behind him and swallowed rough.

“Who the hell are you?” Joel demanded when the man didn’t instantly answer, his voice low and steady as he ran his thumb over the knife’s edge.

The man stared back, his eyes burned with a terror similar to what was churning inside Joel.

“I’m Ethan,” he croaked out, then squeezed his eyes shut and let out a long breath, before opening his eyes back into Joel’s dark gaze. “Juliet’s boyfriend.”

Joel’s entire body tensed, he almost dropped the knife in his hand. But Ethan wasn’t finished, he inhaled another breath, licked his lips, then swallowed again.

“And you’ve signed her death sentence bringing her back here,” he spat, venom dripping from his words.

---------------------------------

@amyispxnk @shotgun-shelby @http-paprika

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