#Cole is by far the best option

[ninjago-cat-lady]

Tierlist on how likely I am to leave my child with the Elemental Masters.

[cassettemoon]

Ninja squad line up!

Notes under the cut

Lloyd's oni/dragon features are fluid! His eyes are usually, as mrsnaildood said, Spotify green but they'll turn red the more tired he is. His fingers and toes are smudged but not as dark as his dad.

Jay is completely blind in his left eye, and has a lot of Lichtenberg scars up that side of his body. He could probably lightning bend like ATLA and pass the lighting through his body instead of being the lightning rod. He and Nya have the most actual metal armor of the group! His straps are attached to like, a little backpack or something.

Kai has poor vision in the eye opposite Jay! He still has light perception and near sight, but far sight is blurry and his depth perception isn't the best. Half of his shirts have low necklines because he paid for this flat chest and he is going to make it your problem. He has burn marks up both arms. He usually has eyeliner! I forgot it! Just realized that now!

Nya has a tiny bit of sectoral heterochromia after Seabound in her left eye. Her armor and outfit lean more towards her Samarui X look than they do her water ninja look, and she's got red accents to tie in with Kai. The gold-blue helps separate her from Jay's silver-blue and is intentional.

Cole's rift mark makes his left eye green! I like heterochromia, I can't help it. His arms, legs, and chest have stretch marks, and his earth punch ability follows the lines of it. I don't have a lot of notes for Cole, he's perfect as is honestly. He's got an allergy to sleeves (finding clothes that actually fit him problems).

Zane's got some different metal colors for some fun visual design. It's just for that. His human cloak is optional like Lloyd's but it's something he actively has to do as opposed to his natural form. Subscribes to the Nindroid one tit out look. His "heart" is mostly just for aesthetic purposes, like all the other glowy bits of his skin. His hair is probably some form of like, silicone? Like stim brushes texture.

And that's all my notes! Probably

[arseniy-arsenicum33]

All Hermits in Hero Forge!

Season 10 is coming! And I've finished modeling every Hermit (Thus far) in their TCG-cards poses!

Special thanks to Hoffen for their original minecraft models...

You've already saw these eight models in my Life-series minis showcase, slight tweaks and costume changes... I really need to buy Hero Forge subscription, so i can manipulate fingers individually... Now, for the new guys... Guess what?! I've figured out how to make links! Now you can see my references directly! Technology!

Ren got his cool casual look...

Docm77 inspired primarily by Belmarzi's design, such as this... It was very funny to suddenly stop in the middle of this project to model him hugging Snoop Dogg...

JoeHills, unsurprisingly, based on real-life Joe Hills... But I did have this comic by my side while modeling him, for moral support, because modeling someone's likeness is always stressful...

Cleo's pose pose a challenge, It uses a transparent one-legged skeleton inside the main body... Like a real armour-stand magic! I like how it turned out...

I've started watching Zedaph very recently, so both Noxolotl's and Applestruda's portrayals of him were very helpful in forming mine...

Blaise's Hermit line up was used for Cub and Hypno, which you will see down the line... Bee's art was helpful, once again, and these Cub-arts by Sylvan...

My main goal with Jevin was to somehow convincingly make a slime look slimy... I was so ready to make him as rotund as this art, but alas, program restrictions...

This art was used for False at the very beginning, but it drifted so much with the addition of cheekbones, that it doesn't look like it at all anymore...

Hypno had a surprise for me, because before making this model, I've never saw this brown line on his chest as a boob-window... But now, I am convinced... This is the art, that guided me to that conclusion... Ghostea's and Locus's portraits were useful for figuring out his face...

Iskall lifted from this art... Hero Forge doesn't have any cool one-eyed visors, so I've settled on monocle for him and Doc...

Hero Forge also for some reason doesn't have a hand-held flower, so pretend, that Stress doesn't hold a pen, okay? And has a cardigan... Based mainly on this and this art, which was also used for XB...

My best guess with Keralis was that he is doing Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ommage... Thanks to Myra and Cole , without them, Keralis would've looked more like a bug with them big ol' eyes...

Oh, boy, XB... A true enigma for me... Pictured here, lightly jogging... Only you could tell me, if I did a good job with him, I sincerely have no idea... Since this is in part a TCG-inspired project, it would've been wise to use references from the actual TCG-cards... To bad, I've came up with this idea near the end of a project...

I have made so many Xisuma-costumes, and only now I am showing you the main friendly-neighbourhood DoomGuy cosplayer himself... Do I need to credit id Software for this?

WelsKnight is my champion in regards to how many references I needed for him... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7! Despite how many armour options Hero Forge has, making something coherent out of them was difficult... Especially, keeping in mind, that one day I'm going to model HelsKnight as well...

And finally, TinFoilChef, based heavily on this stunning artwork... And somewhat on this skin by Ink-Ghoul... It all comes around...

And the Creator Himself! Beef! And his wonderful portraits: 1 2 3 4...

I actually going to use him as an example, to address something...

Here is how my screen looks, then I am working on a model... My method of creation is derivative by nature, it requires the art and creativity of other people... And I have SO MUCH anxiety about this... Not being an artist, but still trying to make something with my limited capabilities... And post it on the internet, oh horror...

With recent talks about plagiarism and AI-art, it has come to my attention, that I myself not so different from AI, just not so efficient... So, this is why I so obsessively document my influences, it is the least I can do... Credit the artists, that I stole from... Please, check out everyone mentioned, subscribe to them, commission new pieces of art...

And if you've liked my dorky "minecraft youtubers made in DND character creator" models... Thank you...

Sometime later there will be a google doc on my blog with links to every model I've ever made, go nuts with them... Try Hero Forge for yourself, it's fun...

[idkyetxoxo]

Criston Cole - The Princess and the Protector

Summary - Embarking on a daring flight, only to suffer a painful injury with her dragon, she grapples with her wound and the threat of her father's wrath, her loyal knight, Ser Criston, steps in to help, igniting a simmering tension between responsibility and yearning.

Pairing - Criston Cole x Targaryen reader

Warnings - Violence (injury?)

Word count - 2312

Masterlist for Criston • House of the Dragon General Masterlist.

"Princess, I feel honoured that you have chosen me to defend your honour and serve at your pleasure," Criston said, his voice filled with reverence. 

I hummed in response, a sweet smile playing on my lips as he gazed up at me like an eager pup seeking its owner's approval.

"The honour is mine, Ser Criston," I replied, shooting him a playful wink before stepping off my seat and heading toward my chambers. 

The soft rustle of silk followed me, the air tinged with anticipation.

As I walked away, my friend Lyanna, ever curious, followed me with a question. "Why have you chosen him?"

"He seemed the most noble," I replied, noting her sceptical expression. "And he's easy on the eyes," I added with a nonchalant shrug, earning a disapproving glance from her. 

I rolled my eyes in response, unbothered by her judgment.

Entering my chambers, I began changing into my dragon-riding attire with the help of my handmaidens. The delicate fabric glimmered as I slipped into it, each stitch infused with the essence of adventure. 

Lyanna watched me with a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"I do not understand how you enjoy riding those beasts so high in the sky," she remarked, helping me with one of my gloves, her fingers nimble but hesitant.

"You won't know until you try it," I said with a grin. The mere thought seemed to unsettle her, she shuddered visibly, shaking her head as if to dispel the idea from her mind.

"You're far too reckless for your own good," she muttered, brushing a stray hair behind my ear.

I chuckled and leaned closer, my eyes twinkling. "Ah, but it's my recklessness that makes me so loveable, don't you think?"

"The Realm's Siren, indeed," she mused, her voice affectionate.

I swatted her arm, a gesture meant to convey that her teasing was received in good spirit. I knew well that her mockery was not harsh but a form of endearment. 

Lyanna was the one person who dared to strip away the gilded layers of royalty, speaking to me with the raw honesty that only true friendship could afford.

Shortly after, she left the room, leaving me to my preparations. I took a few moments to compose myself, inhaling deeply to steady the flutter of excitement in my chest before stepping out.

As expected, Criston was stationed outside, ever dutiful. He turned to walk in step with me as I made my way down to the dragon pits.

"Already put to work, Ser Criston?" I asked, a hint of amusement dancing in my tone.

"Of course, Princess," he replied, clearing his throat, his posture rigid with formality.

"I'm going for a ride on my dragon," I announced as we entered the dragon pit. The sky was growing dim, the sun beginning its descent, painting the horizon in hues of orange and purple.

"It's nearing nightfall," Criston observed, concern evident in his tone, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Already worrying, are we, Ser Criston?" I teased, a smile curling my lips, the thrill of the impending flight sparking mischief in my eyes.

He cleared his throat again, clearly uncomfortable. "I just mean, is this the safest option, Princess?" he asked, his voice tinged with genuine care.

"Safety is not always the most exciting choice, Ser Criston," I replied, a playful glint in my eye.

"And what of your safety?" he pressed, his voice lowering, revealing the protectiveness he felt.

I shrugged, unfazed. "Silverwing is the best girl, I trust her with my life," I declared confidently as I approached my majestic, silvery dragon. Her scales shimmered in the fading light, casting an ethereal glow around her. 

She looked regal and fierce, her wings folded elegantly against her sides.

With practised ease, I mounted her, feeling the familiar strength and grace beneath me. As we ascended into the twilight, the sky darkened slowly, stars piercing through the inky blackness one by one.

Criston watched from below, his eyes wide with awe and a hint of concern, his figure dwindling against the sprawling landscape.

The wind whipped around us as we soared higher, leaving the ground far below, shrouded in the fading light. The twilight deepened, and a thick fog began to roll in, swirling and obscuring our vision.

I squinted, trying to see through the growing gloom, but the landscape below was quickly becoming a blurred tapestry of shadows. Urging Silverwing to descend slightly, I hoped to find clearer skies lower down.

As we descended, the fog thickened ominously, cloaking even the once-familiar terrain in an eerie haze. I steered Silverwing cautiously, my heart pounding with unease as my judgment was clouded by the lack of visibility.

Suddenly, without warning, we flew too low and found ourselves upon a dense thicket of trees. Their gnarled branches reached out like dark, skeletal hands, threatening to ensnare us.

Before I could react, Silverwing reacted instinctively, her massive wingspan tilting to avoid a particularly large branch. We veered sharply, but a smaller branch lashed out, striking my side with a searing pain that stole my breath.

I gasped, the agony radiating through me as I instinctively clutched at the wound, feeling warm blood seeping between my fingers. Silverwing roared in surprise and fear, her flight becoming erratic as she sought to regain stability.

Struggling to stay focused through the haze of pain, I whispered through gritted teeth, "Lykirī." Calm.

"Sōvēs, hepās, vēzot!" Silverwing responded to my voice, her instincts kicking in as she navigated us through the dense forest, flying with renewed determination. Fly, climb, upward!

The journey back was slow and arduous, each movement sending waves of pain through my side. Yet I clung to Silverwing, trusting her instincts as she guided us through the labyrinth of branches and foliage and headed towards the safety of our haven.

When we landed, Ser Criston was there to greet us. His expression turned from relief to alarm as he saw the blood staining my side. Without a word, he sprang into action, helping me dismount and steadying me as my legs wobbled beneath me.

"What happened, Princess?" Criston's voice cracked with barely contained panic. His eyes darted from the bloodstained side of my riding attire to my face,

"I steered us into the trees, I couldn't see," I admitted, wincing as the pain flared again, sharp and biting. "A branch punctured my side."

"We need to call for a maester," Criston insisted, his voice thick with worry. "You need proper treatment, Princess."

"No," I said quickly, shaking my head with resolve. "If we call for a maester, my father will discover what has happened. The king must not know."

Criston frowned, torn between his duty to protect me and my desperate plea. "But you're hurt..."

"I'll be fine," I insisted, though my voice wavered slightly, betraying the pain coursing through me. "Just assist me to my chambers."

With a reluctant nod, Criston supported me as we made our way to my chambers. Each step sent a jolt of pain through my side, but I focused on his presence beside me and his steadying grip.

I sat on the edge of my bed, pulling my gloves off with my mouth, my breath coming in shallow gasps. Criston stood opposite me, unsure of what to do with himself, his worry evident in the furrow of his brow.

"Can you fetch me water and a cloth? I do not think it is too deep," I said, trying to project confidence despite the throbbing ache. 

I unbuttoned my outer dress to lift my tunic, revealing the wound beneath. The gash on my side was angry and red, blood still trickling from it, an unwelcome reminder of my recklessness.

Criston moved quickly, bringing a basin of water and a clean cloth. He knelt beside me, dipping the cloth into the water and wringing it out. His hands were steady, but his eyes betrayed his anxiety, darting between the wound and my face.

"This might sting," he warned softly, his tone gentle as if he were afraid of causing me more pain.

I nodded, bracing myself as he gently dabbed at the wound. The cool water sent a shiver through me, contrasting sharply with the warmth of blood still oozing from the cut. Criston's touch was careful and tender, a soothing balm amidst the turmoil of my injury.

Despite the pain, I found an unexpected comfort in his presence. His focus was intense, his every movement deliberate as he cleaned the wound and pressed the cloth against it to stem the bleeding.

"You're doing well, Princess," he murmured, glancing up at me with a reassuring smile that felt like a warm embrace. "Just a little longer."

His calm demeanor helped to soothe my frayed nerves. As he worked, I watched him, noticing the strength in his hands and the concern etched deeply into his features. For a moment, the pain seemed to fade into the background, overshadowed by the growing warmth in my chest.

"Thank you, Ser Criston," I whispered, my voice barely audible, tinged with gratitude.

He looked up, our eyes locking in an unspoken understanding. For a brief moment, the world outside seemed to disappear; the chaos, the fog, the looming threat of discovery faded into the background. 

The air between us felt charged, electric, as if the space was woven with threads of something deeper.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, a sudden knock on my chamber door shattered the moment. I was pulled from my trance, reality rushing back in like a cold wave.

"Princess! Is everything alright?" The voice belonged to Lyanna, my trusted friend, her tone laced with concern and curiosity.

As Lyanna's concerned voice echoed through the room, Criston's eyes widened in alarm, a fleeting glance of urgency passing between us. With practised swiftness, I moved to conceal my injury beneath my clothes.

Taking a deep breath, I summoned a composed facade, my voice steady as I gestured for Lyanna to enter. "Come in," I called, masking the turmoil that churned within.

The door swung open, revealing Lyanna, her gaze sweeping over Criston and me with a mixture of worry and curiosity. "I heard a commotion—is everything—"

"It's nothing," I interjected quickly, my words laced with forced cheerfulness. "Just a minor mishap while riding. I'm fine."

Lyanna's keen eyes narrowed slightly, her intuition honed by years of friendship. "You look pale, Princess. Perhaps you should rest?"

"No need for concern," I insisted, though the persistent ache in my side contradicted my reassurance. "I just need a moment to collect myself."

Criston stepped forward, his demeanour protective as he added, "I'll stay with her if that's alright."

Lyanna hesitated, clearly torn. "Very well," she finally conceded, her gaze lingering on us with unspoken questions before she retreated, closing the door softly behind her.

Alone again, the tension in the room was palpable, thick with unspoken words and the weight of shared secrets. I exhaled slowly, feeling the rush of adrenaline begin to ebb, leaving behind a deep weariness that matched the dull throb in my side.

"That was close," I murmured, meeting Criston's gaze with a mixture of relief and apprehension.

He nodded solemnly, his expression serious. "You should have let me fetch the maester. This isn't just a scratch."

"And risk my father's wrath?" I countered, my voice edged with frustration and fear. "I'd rather endure this pain than face his anger."

Criston sighed heavily, a hand running through his hair in a gesture of frustration. "You're as stubborn as ever, Princess."

A faint smile tugged at my lips, despite the discomfort pulsing through my side. "And you're as protective as any knight ought to be."

I paused, the weight of the moment settling between us, before continuing with a pained but genuine smile. "I chose well, didn't I? To have someone like you by my side... I'm quite fortunate."

Criston's expression softened, his frustration melting away as he looked at me with a sincerity that was as comforting as it was disarming. 

"No, Princess," he said quietly, his voice steady and filled with warmth. "It is I who am lucky. Serving you is an honour I hold above all else."

His smile was gentle, devoid of any pretence, and it reached his eyes in a way that made the room feel a little less cold, the pain a little more bearable.

Though concern still etched lines on his face. "Just promise me you'll take better care of yourself."

"I promise," I replied softly, my voice carrying the weight of our unspoken connection.

As the moment stretched between us, the air seemed charged with an undercurrent of tension and desire, emotions swirling beneath the surface like hidden currents in a deep sea. 

Criston's gaze held mine, the unspoken words hanging between us like a fragile thread, taut with unfulfilled longing.

Just as the silence threatened to stretch into something more profound, Criston spoke up, breaking the spell that had enveloped us. 

"Perhaps I should return to my post outside," he suggested reluctantly, his voice tinged with regret.

I nodded, though disappointment flickered in my eyes. I knew there was more to be said, more to explore in the depths of this shared moment.

"Yes, perhaps you should," I replied softly, my voice betraying a hint of longing that I couldn't quite suppress.

Criston hesitated, his gaze lingering on mine, a silent acknowledgement passing between us. He turned to leave, the weight of unspoken words heavy in the air.

As the door closed behind him, the room felt suddenly emptier, the warmth of his presence lingering like an echo. I sank back onto the bed, fingers absently tracing the edge of the cloth covering my wound, thoughts swirling with the intensity of the emotions stirred by our brief exchange.

Despite the pain in my side, my thoughts were consumed not by the injury, but by the complex tapestry of feelings that had begun to weave itself between Criston and me. 

The protective concern in his eyes, the unspoken tension that hung between us—these were threads that pulled at something deep within me, something I couldn't yet name but knew instinctively was significant.

A/n -  And that, is how you accidentally seduce your knight while trying not to bleed out.

[goodqueenaly]

If an unmarried knight wins a tourney, or if he is married but his wife isn't in attendance, who would be acceptable choices for him to crown "Queen of Love and Beauty"?

I don’t think this is a question with a simple blanket answer, because the choice would always be dependent on both the socio-politico-dynastic circumstances of each given tourney as well as the respective motivations and ambitions of each such champion. (And indeed, apart from Rhaegar every example we have of a knight choosing a woman or girl to honor has featured an unmarried man making the choice.) Take, for instance, instances of knights crowning queens of love and beauty to curry favor with the ruling royal families of their respective times. No one would have thought that Simon Dondarrion, winning the Dragonpit tourney in 55 AC, was making a romantic gesture toward Princess Daenerys, all of two years old, when he named her queen of love and beauty; Simon had clearly recognized how much the royal couple doted on their (then) only surviving child (an impression perhaps gleaned from their visit to him at Blackhaven the year prior) and saw giving such a public chivalric honor to the princess as a way to make a lasting good impression on the king and queen. Similarly, Ryam Redwyne - who, very much like his indirect descendant Loras Tyrell, probably accurately judged the Kingsguard as the best possible career option for a hugely talented but dynastically extraneous third son - made sure to make a good impression on the king and queen by choosing Alysanne as the queen of love and beauty in the king’s tenth anniversary tourney - though Ryam perhaps decided that Queen Alysanne was a safer choice than Princess Daenerys, who now had two younger brothers and, by consequence, may have appeared somewhat less important by comparison in patriarchal, aristocratic Westerosi society. Likewise, whatever romantic feelings would develop or be rumored to have developed later between Criston Cole and Rhaenyra, as an up and coming young knight (and, crucially, one with clear talent but a lack of elite aristocratic credentials) at the Maidenpool tourney in honor of the new King Viserys Ser Criston correctly recognized the offer of the victor’s laurel to the king’s much loved daughter as a perhaps more direct route to royal favor.  

It’s also possible for a knight to use the crown of the queen of love and beauty as an opportunity for a declaration, not so much to impress the royals (or respective hosts) or a particular lady as to impress a message upon the onlookers. The example we have of this is Prince Aemon, disguising himself as the “Knight of Tears” to crown Queen Naerys the queen of love and beauty. Facing the prospect of his brother’s mistress sitting as the tourney queen, Aemon decided that only his chivalric intervention could save his beloved sister-queen from a further public humiliation courtesy of their mutually loathed brother. The message was clear: the personification of chivalry mourned to see a queen so badly treated, and would himself compete to make sure that she, and not the woman the king was betraying his marital vows for, would receive her due honors. 

Too, it is entirely possible for unmarried knights to use the opportunity of a tourney victory, and the choice of a queen of love and beauty, to make a public statement of their romantic sentiment. Barristan Selmy expected to do as much had he won at Harrenhal, bypassing the absent queen and the present crown princess to honor Ashara Dayne (though I doubt too many would have looked askance at Barristan doing so, given his longstanding public fidelity to the ideals of the Kingsguard). Ser Bonifer Hasty did do so for the young Rhaella, though whether Bonifer actually believed that such a grand gesture would be enough for a mere landed knight to win the hand of a royal princess is far from clear. Jorah Mormont, though, for his part certainly saw the crown of the queen of love and beauty as the fulfillment of his desire for Lynesse Hightower - and again, while this statement alone may not have been enough to win her hand, other factors I think helped Jorah’s bid to marry Lynesse. Too, while we don’t know that a queen of love and beauty would be named at the upcoming tourney at the Gates of the Moon (and I doubt that tourney will end as expected anyway), I think Sansa at the very least plans to give her favor to the participant who would most annoy her would-be fiancé, Harry Hardyng - the more, perhaps, to ensure that Harry would look to give her the queen of love and beauty’s crown. 

[bucketsofmonsters]

Where the Light Enters - Part 1

cw: unreliable narrator, hurt/comfort, slow burn, eventual sex, enemies to lovers, past childhood sexual assault, past sex trafficking, referenced noncon, offscreen dubcon, happy ending, the tags look scary but this is mainly a story about recovery

Cole/Female Inquisitor

word count: 4k

ao3 link

Masterlist

She’d chosen the templars.

It seemed the better option. Or at least the less vulnerable one. 

Frankly, she'd barely understood what a templar was a few weeks ago. The mages seemed upset about them, but surely there were more important things than that in a war. Besides, she'd rather hide herself behind a trained militant force than these rogue witches. 

She still didn’t really understand them if she was being honest. She knew enough to see that people were afraid. No matter how evil the templars may be, at least they were stable. Maybe that was enough. 

She had hoped, assumed even, that Cullen would be doing this part. That she’d point at the templars on the map and he’d set off with his less than stellar army to collect them. That the man who’d been advocating to bring his old comrades into the fold would do the legwork and return with the mage killers and she’d be just that much safer. 

But no. She’d pointed at the map and then been sent off. They hadn’t even given her time to complain. 

Not that she would’ve. It would have ruined her perfectly crafted image of the sweet doe-eyed girl that ensured they wouldn’t throw her to the wolves. The one that changed her from a tool to a manipulable, scared girl. 

She was fine with being manipulated. So long as they thought she was weak-willed, there was no reason to hurt her. She just had to ensure that whatever was best for her was the path of least resistance for them. 

Besides, it wasn’t like she wasn’t returning the favor. The little notebook buried deep under her floorboards ran through the easiest way to get to all of them. Not to endear her to them, just to make her safe. She’d foster pity, camaraderie, desire, whatever would keep her in their good graces for the longest. 

She was always harmless. That was the one thing she had to be. Harmless above all else. Any sign of competency turned to threat under anything but the softest light. 

And yet they’d sent her fragile, bumbling self off to the templars to secure themselves some allies. Josephine had insisted she wouldn’t have to do anything, that she just had to show up while the actual soldiers being sent alongside her would do the heavy lifting. 

Iron Bull had promised much the same, posturing as he normally did. She almost always took him with her these days. He was a beast of a man who threw his weight around like it was nothing, more than happy to take blows for her. And even more importantly, he was growing incredibly fond of her, the kind of ally she needed. 

Their actual leader, the one who made the real decisions, was Cassandra. Cassandra was disinterested in coddling her, more focused on gathering troops than on the strange girl who’d inexplicably been shoved towards leadership because of an ability she’d been given by some higher power. 

Solas, the mage she’d been forced to take with her, was too busy huffing and puffing about prioritizing templars over mages. She thought about snapping at the elf, at insisting that maybe the mages should have been an organized militaristic force if they wanted to be prioritized in this fight. 

Instead, she rolled over like she always did, playing afraid until he stormed off, clearly uncomfortable with the tremor in her voice as she swore she was just trying to get the strongest possible troops so no one else would get hurt. 

Good. Let him be uncomfortable. She had never liked him much anyways. 

But even so, when they arrived at the templar camp she kept herself wedged firmly between Solas and Iron Bull, as far away from the leader of the templars, the Lord Seeker she was pretty sure he was called, as she could. 

She still didn’t fully understand who he was, couldn’t make sense of what he was doing here or why she was meant to care about him. In her defense, she hadn’t expected to be forced to come along. 

Despite her disinterest in him, despite her safe position, despite the way Bull attempted to lead the conflict, when something snapped in the Lord Seeker and he lunged forwards, he lunged at her. 

The world lurched under her feet and it felt like it had the last time, when she'd been pulled through the fade to this awful place and given the strange power that stuck her heading an army. It made her reel in her skin, her muscles and sinews feeling like they were being tugged along faster than she could keep up with, her mind stretching impossibly thin as it did.

And then she was alone. Her warriors and mages were gone, no Bull or Cassandra or Solas to keep her safe. 

Then this Lord Seeker appeared once more, and she suspected that even if she had listened when they’d told her all about the templars and their plight, she would have no better of an idea who this Lord Seeker was. 

This idea was only reinforced when the Lord Seeker began to morph, turning into eerie, hollow puppets of her now absent companions, cycling through her advisors as well. 

She allowed herself the freedom to not perform innocence for these poor mockeries of her cohorts. It seemed probable that this ‘Lord Seeker’ was a demon and as such, unlikely to respond to her usual fawning. 

So instead she got on with things, turning away from the creature that had just decided to morph itself into the face that she tried to avoid seeing in the mirror, and began moving forwards in this strange new space. 

The exploration was slow, the terrain littered with traps. The demon seemed frustrated with her persistent refusal to listen to it menace her. 

The rooms revealed little. Some had puppetted versions of the members of the Inquisition, acting out some situation or another. She decided not to devote her attention to it. It seemed to be intended to display what might happen should she die here and to be frank, she couldn’t care less. She would be dead after all. If Cullen ended up in a jail cell after she died, so be it. It would serve him right for forcing her to come here anyway. 

She explored another room, empty and strange, not sure what she was looking for. It wasn’t like she could just find a way out, she knew she was somewhere incorporeal and beyond things like exit doors. Maybe it was the fade, maybe she was in her own mind, maybe it was this demon’s territory. She didn’t much care, unless figuring it out led her to an exit any faster. 

And then, as she drowned herself in hopelessness and melancholy, a voice sounded from behind her. 

“You.”

The voice didn’t sound harsh nor antagonistic, a far cry from what she’d heard from the demon’s many faces. It was soft, almost curious in its tone. 

She turned around with wide eyes, forcing her face back into the soft façade she’d been free of whilst only under the scrutiny of the demon. 

“Thank god I found someone,” she gasped out, hoping she wasn’t laying it on too thick. “I thought I was all alone in here.”

A young man stood before her. She tried to take him in but it was difficult to due to the frankly absurd hat he was wearing. It covered most of his face, obscuring him from her, the shaggy ends of blonde hair and a stern looking mouth barely peeking out from under it. 

He also, fairly notably, was hanging from the ceiling, which did not help with the matter of the oversized brim of his well-worn hat blocking her view. 

He spoke once more, in that same gentle, inquisitive tone. It was off putting in a way it shouldn’t have been, its softness not quite managing to shield it from that. “It's not the same. Soft words, hard thoughts. You hate me. People do that but you think I’m human and you hate me anyway. Besides it, because of it. It’s hard to see, hard to understand, covered more and more, shying away from the light. The light brings eyes and the eyes bring hurt.”

“Are you inside my head?” Her tone was laced with a spite she rarely allowed to see the light of day.

He looked around. “We’re both inside your head. You’ve guessed that already.”

She shook her head. “Not here, not this place. You, what you’re saying, those are my thoughts. You’re stealing them from me.”

“Not stealing. Just seeing. Hearing.” He paused for a moment, and then said with a decisiveness she’d yet to hear from him. “You’re a bad person.”

“What are you doing in here?” she asked, brushing right past his statements, desperately searching for a way out of this. As much as she hated it, this weird creature that she’d found lingering in her mind was probably her best chance of escape. At least he didn’t seem intent on killing her.

“I grabbed onto you, when you were pulled through the fade. I wanted to go help, but getting out is hard. You made it easy but part of me is stuck up here now. You could help. If you go back I can follow you then too.”

Great, so she’d picked up some sort of mind-reading monster in the fade. She was tempted for a second to take her chances with the demon but she wasn’t stupid. She couldn’t get out on her own, and he clearly knew something. 

“What are you?” she asked, at least wanting to know what she was dealing with before she threw her life into his hands. 

“I’m Cole. What are you?”

That earned a ghost of a laugh from her, the short huff of air barely noticeable. Not that it mattered, Cole could probably feel it as she did. “I’m Rosemary.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, suddenly behind her, standing on the same floor she was on.

“About what? My name?”

“Wandering, alone, unnamed, searching for something soft on the tongue. Rosemary made people see the ghost, not the person. Rosemary earned gentle hands. What are you?” 

This was spiraling out of control faster than she could figure out how to manage it. “Can we focus on getting out of here?” she asked. “Can’t you interrogate me when there’s no imminent threat on our lives?”

Then he breathed a word out like he couldn’t decide if it was a prayer or a curse, like it was a horrible truth that had just occurred to him. “Britches.”

Her head snapped towards him, a tension she’d long since trained out of herself rearing its ugly head. “Where did you hear that?”

“You told me. It echoes in your head, the closest thing to you that there is. It’s so far, fleeting, fading. But it’s almost you.”

“We need to leave,” she practically pleaded with him. “Can we please just get out of here?”

“I’ve never heard someone who wasn’t a who before. Where did it go?”

“I promise I’ll answer all your questions when we get out. Please, we need to go.” She wasn’t above begging. There was very little she was above, in all honesty. 

His head tilted once more, as if considering asking about that thought, before deciding the promise of honesty in the future was worth more. 

“It wants your face,” he declared. “It would hurt more than you ever could, claw the people apart instead of just holding. You want to leave. I can help.”

“You can get me out of here?”

He didn’t even bother to nod, just continued speaking in his strange little riddles. “You need to make it more. Right now it’s just a few. The further you go, the further it stretches.”

“Why would I want to make it bigger?”

“The smaller it is, the closer together the power. You have to stretch it thin.”

Right, so she just needed to keep moving and eventually something in this seemingly endless demon would snap. 

She didn’t need him for that, she could travel on her own. 

His head tilted as the thought passed through her head. “We’re in you already. If you leave me behind, I stay. You want me to go so you can’t leave me.”

He was right. As much as she didn’t want to travel with this weird creature, leaving him festering inside her head seemed infinitely worse. 

“Alright then Cole, we’d better start walking.”

He nodded but did not move. “We will need to fight.”

“You will need to fight. There’s not much I can do.”

“No. You don’t fight, you move softer. Sneaking, slipping, stealing. You only have to roll over if you get caught.”

“I wish you’d stop doing that,” she said, and her voice was instinctually softer. He paid her no regard. 

“I can be quiet. We can move softly together.”

She hoped the creature actually understood what it was saying, that it could be as stealthy as it promised. Or at least hoped that it could fight. 

He still didn’t move and she wondered if he was waiting for her to go first. 

She turned and took a few steps out the door, hearing no footsteps sound behind her. 

When she turned, Cole was nowhere to be found.

A voice came from right behind her, outside of the doorway. “Should we not leave?”

She whipped around and glared at him. He didn’t seem to react to the look at all. 

To be fair, she wasn’t very intimidating. She had little practice at being menacing and she most certainly was not a natural. 

Emboldened by the fact that he did not seem to need to move to follow her, she set out, walking out the door, blowing right past him.

A scream sounded from her left and Cole said, “Keep going straight. It wants you to wind around and around and around so it doesn’t have to stretch.”

His voice echoed and she wasn’t sure if it was an audible noise or not. She turned to where it felt like it had come from and there he was, walking alongside her. 

The sound of her footsteps remained the only ones in the hall as the two of them walked. 

“We should move quietly,” she said. 

He looked around as he moved. “Envy can’t hear me. It doesn't know I’m here. You wouldn’t have either.”

“If not for safety then maybe you should be quiet for my own sanity.”

“You’re not going insane,” he declared. “You are frustrated.”

“You don’t seem to mind.”

“No,” he said. “You can be frustrated if you’d like.”

“No,” she informed him, although she imagined he knew already. “I would not like.”

She turned to look at him and saw a glimpse of his eyes under his hat, a little wrinkle formed between them. “Then you should stop.”

“You first,” she huffed. 

“The Iron Bull is out there,” he said, undeterred by her clear irritation. “He isn’t bad but he brings hurt anyway.”

She decided to try a more direct approach. “Can you shut up?”

“If you let them bite, then it doesn’t count. It only hurts if they take it, if you allow it it's still yours.”

She stopped with a jolt, whipping around to scold him. “If you can see everything in my head, why do you keep talking? You know what’s up there and I know what's up there so what exactly are we achieving?”

“I have thoughts too,” he said, almost wistfully.

“Really? I have yet to hear them. You instead seem intent on airing every thought I’ve ever had as obtusely as you can.”

“It’s hard. Your thoughts are so loud. You’re very angry.”

She huffed as she stormed onwards. “Wouldn’t you be?”

“I don’t know. I think the hurt would make me help. It just makes you want to dig your claws in and hold.”

“Fucking irritating little creature, that’s what you are. I’ll be glad when I get out of this and I never have to see you again. Then you can stew on my rotten thoughts as long as you’d like.”

His head cocked to the side. “You’re not convinced we’re inside you. You still hope this could be the fade. You think I may belong here, that I might stay.”

“Frankly, I don’t care where you go. I know you’re not staying with me though.”

“We’re tethered.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You can see in my head, right? Do you really think they’re going to believe a demon over me? You’ll be killed in a heartbeat. Which is fine by me, no skin off my back.”

“A bad person,” he muttered to himself, hands flexing and unflexing slowly, rhythmically as he spoke. She wasn’t sure if he even knew he was doing it. 

He went silent as they heard the shouting of troops. Cole faded away and she took to the shadows. 

If this really was her mind, which she was not ready to wholeheartedly believe on the word of some creature, then she had no idea how stealth worked here. Was it really as simple as being quiet and hiding away? Surely in this space that the demon allegedly created, it could sense where she was. 

And yet she watched soldiers run in front of her, looking desperately for someone to fight as she slunk further into the artificial landscape. 

Cole made himself scarce from there on out, occasionally warning her with that strange, disembodied voice to turn now or to avoid the room ahead, although never in such clear terms. 

Eventually, she realized where she’d ended up. She was where she’d begun, where the Lord Seeker, or perhaps the envy demon, had lunged at her past her several bodyguards, most of which were standing protectively in front of her.

It wanted her. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe because of her perceived position of power. Maybe because of whatever this ability was that the fade had given her seemingly at random when she’d been pulled here.

It didn’t really matter, at the end of the day. She just needed to get out. 

And at the top of all those staircases was a dead end where she had been attacked. 

She looked around as the sound of battle-ready troops got louder. 

“Cole,” she hissed. “Where do I go?”

His voice sounded from above and she looked up to find him in the palm of a massive statue. 

“You remember it wrong. The statues don’t have faces here. You didn’t care to look.”

“I still don’t. We have more important things to be worrying about than what some weird statues look like.”

“It should end where it began. You must escape in the center.”

She made the mistake of turning her head, of looking nervously towards the false templars that resided down the stairs. 

When she looked back up, she was alone again. 

Or at least she hoped she was, looking around nervously, checking for any signs of an aggressor. 

But demons didn’t play fair. 

Before she could so much as catch sight of it, the faux Lord Seeker was slamming her back into the wall, hands tight around her throat. 

The face looking back at hers was the half-familiar one from the mirror once more, one she tried to avoid looking at at all costs. 

It was typically unfair, she supposed. To be forced to look at an imitation of herself as she died. 

She kicked and flailed, trying to break from his grasp, to get away by any means possible, but she knew it was a losing fight. She could feel the strength in its hands that far exceeded hers. 

Cole’s voice sounded from right beside her. “He is afraid of you.”

She could see no sign of him out of the corner of her eye as she thrashed in the demon's hold, but she could hear him perfectly. 

The fight began to drain out of her, sinking into herself as her kicks lost all their power. 

And then the hands around her throat went stiff and the world folded in on itself. 

She collapsed to the ground the second she saw Iron Bull in front of her, pulling the Lord Seeker away from her. She heaved in air where she sat, clutching her chest as she did, eyes beginning to water. 

It wasn’t her best performance, a bit overdone. She honestly could have just reacted as she would naturally but the sudden appearance of her companions had thrown her. In her defense, it was a sudden shift and she’d been preoccupied with other things. 

The strange creature with the stupid hat was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t sure if she hoped he was still trapped back wherever they had been or not. She certainly didn’t want him lingering in her head but having a mind-reading creature roaming around would prove an ever greater problem. 

Bull carried her inside as the other two talked about a demon and some transformation she hadn’t been privy to, instead caught up in her own dramatics. 

He tucked her away on a chair in the corner as Solas said something, probably whining about her. Cassandra gave her a firm order to stay put and they left her inside, amidst the templars.

She stayed tucked in her corner, choking down any panic that might want to arise. 

She didn’t like being alone with groups of men, let alone groups of men that she didn’t know and hadn’t built any repertoire with.  

The fight was over fast. She stayed dutifully in her corner, not one to disobey orders. When it was over, Cassandra and Bull returned for her, Solas presumably off worrying about more important things than her. 

Cassandra did not let Bull carry her any longer, insisting she was fine without giving her the chance to speak. She rose to her feet, despite her plan to feign weakness a little longer. She didn’t want to upset Cassandra.

Cassandra dragged her back to their control room to debrief about the mission, where she would inevitably try to pull something approximating leadership out of her once more. 

It wouldn’t work. She knew any attempt to lead would upset more people than it would please.

It was safer to be weak. 

Cullen was upset about something, which didn’t make sense to her considering she’d helped his precious templars first. Josephine was upset too, not that she’d ever admit it. But a liar recognizes a liar and that calm voice was as put on as it could be. Leliana was endlessly practical, so presumably she was telling her something important. She barely listened to any of it, instead focusing on clutching her uninjured stomach in faux pain, hoping that the hands that had been around her neck left bruises, despite having been in that world between worlds. 

And then their typical, predictable chatter turned to something more panicked and she looked up to find Cole sitting on their table.

Her eyes shifted from an impression of someone trying to be brave about their pain to a very real panic, lurching away from him before she could think. 

Swords were being drawn in the blink of an eye and she did her best to position herself behind Cullen. He was already the fastest to the draw and Cole was too dangerous to her. Hopefully, if he felt he had something to protect he would be even more likely to end this creature now, before Cole could become a problem. 

“You left,” Cole said, looking straight at her, the weapons pointing at him not seeming to concern him at all.

All heads turned to her. “Rosemary?” asked Josephine hesitantly, waiting for an explanation. 

“He helped me against the demon,” she said reluctantly. “But I don’t think we can trust him.”

Cole’s head cocked to the side. “Fleeting, fearful, frantic. You need me to be gone, they can’t see what I know. We both will stay.”

She prayed the others didn’t understand that as the threat it was. 

Leliana glanced between the two of them and asked, “A spirit helped you?”

A spirit. It made sense, she’d apparently picked him up in the fade and he hadn’t done anything truly menacing so it was unlikely he was a demon. At least not yet. She wasn’t sure how Leliana had deduced this but she stored the information away. 

She nodded. “He did. And maybe I was unfair. He was nothing but kind to me, and he saved my life. We could give him a chance.”

Cullen scoffed. “Trust him? He’s a demon and you just said we shouldn’t trust him! Now you want to set him free in the camp?”

“Wasn’t it you who said I could stand to be a little braver, Commander Cullen?” she said, sitting up a little straighter. She needed to do this, if Cole was inside her head he could get her killed. “He saved me, and I say we give him a chance.”

Cole was gone before she finished defending him, disappearing with hints of fade green in the air where he’d sat. 

Josephine looked nervous but she seemed the most content with their situation, saying, “He could be a useful resource-” 

Before she could so much as finish her sentence, Rosemary bolted out the door to go find the ticking bomb that had invited itself into her army.

[crossdressingdeath]

DAI does that with a lot of things. Morrigan gets to claim to be a Elven expert, even though you know that is far from the truth if you've played Origins where she didn't know shit. Cullen gets final say in his dialogue options despite you knowing that he's lying. Grey Wardens gets shit on and the Inquisitor can wildly overstep.

DAI has this weird mix of a) expecting you to have read all the books/comics so that they don't have to explain anything and b) assuming that you haven't played the previous games so they can try to rewrite what happened.

Yeah, the required reading for DAI was ridiculous. WEaWH is always the big one because most of the others you can get by without it (even Cole's backstory isn't necessary to appreciate and understand the character, and enough of it comes up in-game to get by), but knowing what Celene and Gaspard did is kind of fucking important, Bioware. And then even when Celene purging the alienage comes up it's used as a mark against Briala for being in a relationship with her at the time even though if I'm understanding the excerpts I've seen of TME Briala breaks it off as a direct result of the purge and (as Dorian rightly points out) that'd be more Celene's scandal than Briala's anyway. Like, they try to make Celene purging the alienage into Briala's crime because she was sleeping with the empress at the time and that's just... ugh. But it's like, I would argue that it would be fair and honestly best practice to assume that people playing the third game in a series have played the first two games? DA has an overarching narrative even if the connections aren't particularly close, if someone wants to start partway through they can but the writing should expect people to be familiar with the games' stories. Maybe have some codex entries summarizing the previous games or a little intro cutscene, but... I don't know, I'm worried about the fact that apparently DAV doesn't need you to have played the first three games when literally all the setup for it is in DAI. Expecting people to have played all the games in a narrative-driven RPG series and not to have jumped in partway through is fair! Expecting people to have read five supplementary novels and two coffee table lore books to understand the plot is ridiculous. At least Tevinter Nights and The Missing so far seem to only be relevant to DAV in that they show some glimpses of what's been going on between games and give us a point of reference for some of the new characters...

The thing that gets me with DAI is that the game really wants you to side with the Templars whether it makes sense or not. Like... let's take the choice between mages and Templars as an example. The game wants you to side with the Templars. It really does, it tries its best to dissuade the player from siding with the mages if you go that route (Cullen's little "Oh... it's so dangerous... we shouldn't do it..." routine is notable when compared to Leliana and Josie, both of whom favour the mages, being very professional about you picking the Templars), it does its utmost to claim that the rebellion was unwarranted when it absolutely was not, the rebels are constantly framed as weak or mean or evil or stupid while the Templars were just misled (by... a guy who told them he'd let them murder all the mages and left out the "in service to Corypheus" bit, they still joined his little walkout to murder people, but the game doesn't get into that), it even lets you switch quests well past what should've been the point of no return if you're on the mage route (WHY CAN YOU SWITCH AFTER LEARNING THERE'S A FUCKING MAGISTER IN FERELDEN TRYING TO ENSLAVE A BUNCH OF MAGES, BIOWARE, WHY THE FUCK IS THAT AN OPTION) whereas with the Templars you can't even learn what your advisors' plan for getting you in alive is until you're locked in. And I'm not going to lie, CotJ is legitimately the better quest. I did it once to see and god damn it is quality, I don't dislike IHW but... yeah CotJ is definitely stronger.

But then you actually look at the story and... why the fuck would you side with the Templars? They left the Chantry because the Divine told them not to murder people. That's explicit, people tell you that repeatedly. They're making excuses for it, but there's always an acknowledgement that... yep, that's why the Templars left, they wanted to kill people and were mad about being told no. Leliana (the most familiar face among the advisors and given Cassandra's previous appearance was threatening Varric and Cullen's was playing yes man to Meredith for nine years and only changing sides once she became a threat to him/because not doing so would mean fighting Hawke Leliana's the one people are most likely to want to side with) is pro-mage and dismisses Cullen's claims that the Templars could help close the Breach as speculation. Which... it is. This situation is completely unprecedented, no one knows what's going to happen. But given mages are incredibly powerful and Templars are repeatedly portrayed as mostly useless in any sort of real danger that doesn't involve children or indoctrinated Circle mages (it is not a coincidence that the only people locked in the tower in Broken Circle who survive with their minds and bodies intact without the demons actively choosing to let them live for funsies are mages; the only Templar who's alive and unpossessed is Cullen, and the demons very obviously could've killed him at any time and just chose not to because they were having fun toying with him) I'm gonna say the mages are a safer bet. Also because... they invited Quiz. That could be a trap, but you know what's definitely a trap? Walking into a fortress full of heavily-armed mage killers who openly want you dead. Meeting with the Templars is really, really stupid (especially if you're a mage) and you don't even learn the plan for getting you inside unharmed until you actually select the quest. Also that plan is basically just "if there are witnesses with societal power the Templars can't murder you unprovoked" because reminder: the Templars are the absolute worst. Why would you ever want these people around. And then if you meet with the mages first like "Well I'll figure it out once I've heard what they have to say, I don't have to commit if I do things this way so I might as well" you learn that there's a Tevinter magister serving an evil Tevinter cult just chilling in Redcliffe and why the fuck would you go to the Templars at that point this needs to be dealt with. The game wants you to side with the Templars but it gives you no reason to do so, I really wonder sometimes if the writers weren't talking to each other at all.

[crimson-amarone]

Fancasting for a Trigun live-action tv series/movie!! I know we got just Trigun Stampede, but we can’t let Cowboy Bebop get a live action and not Trigun right??

For all my selections I would say about 75-80% are actors I have seen in one or more of their most well known roles. For anyone else I narrowed down to 2-4 options and I did extra research into their filmography, interviews to hear their voices and general vibe, etc. And I also looked at what kind of roles they trended towards—sci-fi/fantasy and superhero media giving them bonus points.

See below for info about the actors and my runner up choices for each character. I included tidbits like their age, height, and notable roles.

For Vash and Knives I wanted to first look for real life identical twins. After some research, I believe I found a fitting pair. Cole and Dylan Sprouse, best know for their childhood roles in the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Although I don’t think I knew their adult roles as well as their Zack and Cody days, that real twin dynamic just adds that extra layer.

Of the two, I found Cole having a softer look, and lately it appears he’s been going with black hair which seemed fitting if we think about black-haired Vash at the end of TriMax. Dylan’s look has just that different sharpness and edginess that I slotted him to Knives.

Ruby Cruz (Kit Tanthalos, Disney+’s Willow) is a very talented young woman and recently made a feature length movie debut as Hazel Callahan in Bottoms (2023) and will be starring in an upcoming rom-com The Threesome. (See notes about edit below.)

Milly was a tricky one for me. I have a couple of runners up below. My current pick is Mina Sundwall, especially for her role as Penny Robinson in Netflix’s space family drama Lost in Space.

Although I’m on board with the HC that Wolfwood is Latinx, I had to go with famous werewolf Jacob Black from Twilight, Taylor Lautner. I got a couple other choices below too.

Liam Hemsworth (or Chris idkkkk). Nuff said?

Rem was a bit hard to choose. I had to go with Candice Patton as a personal big fan of her role as Iris West in The Flash as a DC fan. She has just the right oh-crap-I-have-kids-I-am-not-prepared-at-all motherly acting vibe down pat that is essential for Rem.

Despite the fact that Christopher Daniel Barnes is always smiling in photos, his breath of filmography makes him such a good fit for wise Drunkle Roberto.

Being so effing hyped about Nicholas playing Lex Luthor in Superman Legacies (2025) he has the perfect mix of heroic and villain roles for Legato’s psychotic righteousness. And he’s already had blue hair (and fur all over his whole body) as Hank “Beast” McCoy, c’mon too easy.

Zazie Beetz… that couldn’t have been a coincidence? Like Studio Orange must have know about this actress when they worked on the Beast’s revamped design. For a second option I’d probably pick a child/adolescent actor but Zazie can pretty much take whatever form they want, so why not both? Edit: I’m going with Scarlett (Trixie from Lucifer). Very very talent young woman. She’s funny, smart, sassy.

Role: Vash the Stampede

Actor: Cole Sprouse

Age: 31

Height: 6’0”

Best known role: Cody Martin ( The Suite Life of Zack & Cody)

Runner-up Actor: Mason Dye (Jason Carver, Stranger Things)

———

Role: Millions Knives

Actor: Dylan Sprouse

Age: 31

Height: 6’0”

Best known role: Zack Martin ( The Suite Life of Zack & Cody)

Runner-up Actor: Christopher Lowell (Sebastian “Bash” Howard, GLOW and Jess, How I Met Your Father)

———

Role: Meryl Stryfe

Actor: Ruby Cruz

Age: 23

Height: 5’3”

Best known role: (Kit Tanthalos, Disney+’s Willow)

Edit: I swapped Ruby Cruz in for Bex as I learned how far along Bex was in their gender journey. As much as I respect Bex’s journey and the gender representation is important, I still want to pick someone I feel leans more feminine for Meryl.

Runner-up Actor: tbd, maybe Christine Lee or Ana Yi Puig

———

Role: Nicholas D. Wolfwood

Actor: Taylor Lautner

Age: 32

Height: 5’8”

Best known role: Jacob Black (Twilight movies)

Runner-up Actor: David Castro (Raphael Santiago, Freeform’s Shadowhunters)

———

Role: Roberto De Niro

Actor: Christopher Daniel Barnes

Age: 51

Height: 5’11”

Best known role: Spiderman (Spider-Man 90s), Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid 89)

Runner-up Actor: Edgar Ramirez (Bourne Ultimatum 2007, Carlos the Jackal, HBO’s The Undoing)

———

Role: Milly Thompson

Actor: Mina Sundwall

Age: 22

Height: 5’6”

Best known role: Penny Robinson (Lost in Space, 2018)

Runner-up Actors: Liana Liberato, Kennedy McGann, Ellie Gall, Luna Wedler

———

Role: Rem Saverem

Actor: Candice Patton

Age: 35

Height: 5’4”

Best known role: Iris West (CW’s The Flash)

Runner-up Actor: Lyrica Okano (Nico Minoru, Hulu’s Runaways)

———

Role: Legato Bluesummers

Actor: Nicholas Hoult

Age: 34

Height: 6’3”

Best known role: Nux (Mad Max Fury Road), Hank “Beast” McKoy (X-Men movies), Lex Luthor (Superman Legacies, 2025)

Runner-up Actors:

2. Samuel Larson (Joe Hart, Glee) 3. Charlie Heaton (Jonathan Byers, Stranger Things) or 4. Brenton Twaites (Dick Grayson aka Nightwing, DC’s Titans)

[imagine-silk]

i feel like varric is a classic platonic yandere.

do NOT fuck with his friends thank you.

》Honestly he's already halfway there. Also I'm gonna use a Adaar non!inquisitor.

》This has been so long in the making I am sorry TTMTT

He does a lot for his friends. He makes sure Merrill is unbothered by paying off people, even going so far as to pay people as pseudo bodyguards. Helped Anders stay hidden underground and stocked. As much as he teased Carver he made sure prices at the shops he went were more affordable, if you catch my drift. And at the Conclave he shut his mouth at the end of the story. The champion of Kirkwall vanished in the wind. Lie by omission.

Something about you though clicked in his head and rang it like a bell ten-fold. He would die for his friends, yes, but he would kill for you.

A Tal-Vashoth mercenary who was stranded. The reason you were working with them was to cover a debt you owed. So when your company died and you were the only survivor you knew they would tax you for it. There was no doubt they would keep you working for the rest of your life, no matter how long or short it may be. But the so-called Inquisition was housing the homeless and faithful. That included you because going back wasn't an option.

Cassandra used you to help detain Varric so when she saw you among the people she sniffed you out as not a refugee. She was going to throw you out but Trevelyan stopped her and offered you shelter in exchange for work.

It's a funny thing, you were the one to seek him out. You almost tripped over him and ended up jumping over him. He was always a sucker for interesting introductions. The next time you were going to apologize for how you treated him in his detainment.

He quickly realized you were seeking him out because he was a constant to you who never ever showed you ill will. That was the slope to madness.

Going out of his way to talk you was received as well as he thought it would, you were basically vibrating in your seat. After a few times of hearing his stories at the pub you realized what he meant when he said he was a liar, but you told him you found it funny.

He heard someone in Haven dragging the 'Mercenary Qunari' through the mud. See as there was a grand total of seven Qunari at Haven he knew who he was talking about. Suddenly they got the worst chores to do, separately.

Other than him you're pretty isolated. All your friends were dead, no family, and the people who wanted you also wanted you as a slave. For some reason that didn't make him want to make you some friends like he did for Merrill. Your time was his.

You making friends was by no means illegal but he would interfere. Maybe he needs you to read the newest chapter of his murder serial. Or somehow they get extra shifts that make them keep moving. He will never pull the 'I need some company' card but if you see him struggling he won't turn away like he would with others.

After Haven goes down he gets more serious in his attempts to help but also to keep you out of the limelight. The more he gets involved in the Inquisitor's inner circle the more he keeps an eye on you. There is nothing you do he doesn't know about, nowhere you get deployed he didn't allow.

At Skyhold you feel like he's the only real person you can go to and he does his best to reinforce that feeling. "Remember; you always got this friend in your corner."

Cole knows about all of this but because you are happy and so is Varric he doesn't interfere. He does say something to Varric about how this friendship feels different to him, more intense, but Varric dismisses it.

If Hawke is saved he introduces you to them and you two hit it off, Varric guiding the conversation as smoothly as it could go. After Hawke will remark to him in private how he seems very invested in you and he doesn't seem to want to go back to Kirkwall like they thought he would. He dismisses it. If Hawke was left in the Fade he is devastated, truly. When you go to console him he allows it to happen and he doesn't try to use this against you even if it would be really easy. He would let this one go unspoiled.

At the end of it all and he goes back to Kirkwall he takes you there. You might think he asked you but there was never any room for you to deny it. Taking down a Qunari quietly wasn't too difficult for a rogue like him. You would have been asleep in ten minutes and onboard in eight. When you get there you are basically confined to his estate. You're not locked in but he tells you not to go certain places and it's most of Kirkwall. You can go to the Hanged Man and everyone in there knows not to try and hassle you in any way. If they do at least twenty people will stop them.

[More when the new game comes out]

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Wardaddy

Summary: Reader finds out she's pregnant  after she lost her title at double or nothing. Will the nickname she jokingly gave her boyfriend “Wardaddy” gain a whole other meaning?  

An: I found this fit in my drafts, wrote it months ago but for some reason never published it? Enjoy, and pls remember to give Wardlow requests in my inbox

Word count: 1132

Main Masterlist Wardlow Masterlist

The internet was a weird place. You always hated the bird app with all of its negativity and BS but here you were scrolling on twitter after you found out why you were trending.  

Your face was shocked when you saw the amount of negative comments regarding your relationship with Wardlow. Sure he was 8 years older than you but for the most part everyone had been supportive of it. It was the AEW locker room who kept trying to set the two of you up for the longest time. You were quite confused on why all of a sudden it was now they were concerned with it. A few months ago you were deemed the power couple of all elite wrestling, on the top of the company both of you holding championships. You had just ended a feud with your real life best friend Britt Baker and her long time boyfriend Adam Cole. 

The fans loved it, mixed tag matches were surprisingly uncommon in aew so when they became a regular occurrence in your feud the fans were quick to eat it all up.

Having had enough of social media for the day you stepped into catering for the first time after losing your championship  two weeks ago at double or nothing. You ran into Britt who had beat you in a no DQ match for the women's championship. 

“Sup, Champ” You called to your friend

“Hey Mama, how’s it going” Britt replied back

“Not much, I'm literally starving. I’ve been oddly hungry the past few days and more bloated than usual.” you said hand on your stomach looking at all of the different options catering had to offer. 

Britt laughed, handing you a plate. The two of you got some food before you found somewhere quiet to eat. Far away from all of the cameras and wrestlers. While you enjoyed your food Britt asked you…

“How’s your shoulder doing?” 

“It can be better, still hurts like a son of a bitch though” you replied, looking down at your shoulder that had been taped together in a million different ways

“Sorry about that again” She apologized knowing she was the cause of your injury

“Why are you sorry, shit happens.” You said a little bit confused on why she kept apologizing. The injury wasn’t even her fault. You were the one that called out the spot with the steps. 

“Medical won’t clear me quite yet, hopefully within the next few weeks or so” you responded oddly calmly, secretly upset you weren't able to compete in the show tonight. 

“Good luck out there tonight, tho. I hope you kick Thunder Rosa’s Ass!” 

“I will don’t worry” Britt responded laughing 

Time skip: 4 weeks later 

“Is it still that bad?” Your boyfriend Wardlow called through the door of your hotel bathroom. 

“I feel like my insides are falling out” you said in agony clutching your stomach as you threw up whatever you had left in your stomach. 

“Can I come in?” he asked nervously 

“No! I'm hideous go away” your words laced with venom as they left your lips. 

The medical staff had finally cleared you to return on this week's episode of Dynamite but your body had other ideas. You felt like you were dying and your poor boyfriend had no idea what to do. He tried his very best and you appreciated it but it came to the point where you just wanted to be alone. You cleaned up and finally stepped out of the bathroom to be greeted by Wardlow. He handed you some fresh clothes. As you were putting on your shirt you looked down at your stomach.

“Did I gain weight” you said as you looked in the mirror

“I think you look fine Y/N” Wardlow replied annoyed you would ask such a question 

“No honestly, I think I did” 

“Y/N, your probably just bloated” he replied rolling his eyes

“Whatever” you scoffed 

You arrived to the arena, looking and feeling like shit. You decided to stop by the doctor to let them know that you weren't feeling the best, all it took was one of the doctors to look at the dark circles under your eyes and pale look in your skin to deem you uncleared for the show tonight. It made you feel like shit, working hard with physios to get your shoulder better only to catch some bug before your return. Thankfully Britt wasn’t booked for the show tonight so the two of you could hang out and watch the show from one of the skyboxes in the arena. 

“So you are still not feeling good?” Britt asked, curiously 

“Yep, I don’t know how this is even possible but I feel like I’m getting worse” You told her truthfully. 

“When was the last time you got your period?” Britt asked, shit, you never even thought about that

“Ummm maybe a few months ago” 

“Have you ever thought that you might be pregnant?” 

“I mean we are careful but that would explain a lot of things”  

“Since we both have nothing to do, how bout we leave the arena, grab a few tests and we can go back to the hotel and see. I’m sure you don’t want to take a test in the locker room with all those nosey people” 

That is exactly what the two of you did, you told your respective partners to meet back at the hotel and let everyone else know that you would be hedging out for the evening. You and Brit ended up getting four different kinds of tests and a few goodies to bring back to the hotel. Unfortunately a fan recognized the two of you at the CVS that just so happened to be next to your hotel. Lying, you said the pregnancy tests were for a segment for the next BTE, now you somehow would have to tell the bucks to include some kind of skit involving pregnancy tests in next week's episode to keep true to your lie. 

Currently you and Britt sat on top of the hotel bed, munching on some chips as you both stared at the blinking screen of the pregnancy test. “How long is this going to take? I feel like we have been sitting here forever” You asked Britt. “According to this it says 5 minutes” Britt responded. 

Just then the test stopped flashing. ‘Pregnant 4-6 weeks’ 

You and Britt had no idea what to say, the two of you in shock at what you were seeing. You were first to break the silence “This has to be wrong. No way I’m pregnant” 

Sure enough you were pregnant. You took 5 more to make sure, all 6 tests saying the same thing. What was Wardlow going to think? 

[butterflypeatea3456]

Soft yan!Ser Criston Cole x Reader x Soft yan!Rhaenyra HC

Part 1

Warning: Unhealthy relationship, minor wounds, you know the drill

Criston Cole only had eyes for the princess. Not the young ladies she often accompanied, especially not you. The one he met because of her. The girl who was often linked arm and arm with Rhaenyra. He didn't notice the toothy grins you'd shoot at him, or your challenging gaze whenever you were forbidden to do something. Or the small pricks in your fingers and hands. The sample sizes of fine fabrics you always had stuffed in your pockets. He was a loyal guard to the heir of the Iron Throne.

Rhaenyra first laid eyes on you while pouring wine into a Lord's cup. It was hard not to notice the only other women in the room. There you were standing behind your uncle's chair, in a soft bluish-purple gown. It was a relatively simple dress so to speak, but the design, the colors, and jewels made it a work of art. Her gaze traveled up your figure till she met your eye. It her by surprise when you walked over, greeting her warmly, by holding both her hands.

Former Lady Alicent, now Queen and you were never particularly close. Content on spending time together whenever Rhaenyra was involved. You'd be a fool not to notice the growing rift between the two since Alicent married the King. You spent many nights consoling Rhaenyra, from the loss of their friendship, the stress of being heir, and fears that her father was replacing her. And that one day you would leave her through death like her mother or fade away like Alicent. "You truly are the only one I have left"

You pulled Criston aside more than once to make sure you both were doing your best supporting her. The amount of care you showed warmed his heart. A part of him yearned to be as close as Rhaenyra was to you. But would be improper and fuel rumors that could hurt you both. Your family might take you away from King's Landing, and that wasn't an option. "Of course my lady we need to stay close by"

When rumor's started flying around the castle about Prince Daemon taking Rhaenyra's maidenhood, the first thing you did was confront her. She confessed as soon as you pressed her, that it was not Daemon she bedded but Ser Cole. Small jabs of jealousy pricked at you, but deep down you could not tell who you were jealous of. But that didn't stop you from defending her at every turn. Whether it caused a scene or not. Those actions set Rhaenyra's love for you in stone. You were the only one that fought for her. You didn't look at her any differently like Alicent had, or was furious like Visery's.

Your defense of Cole was more subtle. Knowing very well what breaking his oath and laying with the princess would mean for him. Though Criston did very much notice your soft passive aggressiveness when you first found out. He tried not to let it get to him until he couldn't. Finally, you fessed up when he confronted you alone in the halls. Leaning in your warm breath tingled his ear as you revealed what you knew. His heart dropped, you knew of his worst deed. Seeing the dreadful look on his face, you swore secrecy to him. Going as far as to prick your finger with a sewing needle. His gloved reached yours as he planted a soft kiss on your hand. But it didn't stop the small seed of anger at Rhaenyra for ruining his good image to you.

You don't know where things went wrong. But somewhere along the line things went very wrong. It was like the trio of you, Criston, and Rhaenyra evaporated overnight. As cordial as they both were in front of you. It was hard to ignore the bitter looking being thrown around. And the fact that they were no longer speaking. You were practically with Rhaenyra 24/7 afterwords. And Criston started appearing by Alicent's side more and more. In your heart you knew that things would never be the same between you three. And it was only a matter of time before things reached a boiling point.

[queenaeducan]

as i mentioned i beat the murals last night and i have so many thoughts. many i think may take a while to sift through and get to where i want them but. for now.

solas wanted to KILL the mages in his personal quest. the circumstances are not the same (he did agree, however reluctantly, where they did not ask), but the result- a spirit of wisdom turned to violent pride- are the same. how much does solas let himself feel about the regrets in the murals? how much has he let himself process? does his anger in this quest reflect the anger he feels towards mythal?

it also does a lot to contextualise his feelings re: cole's personal quest. i've said before that when you put cole's pq in the context of what happened to wisdom (and others before it), solas's behaviour makes sense. but like. idk, i know ppl will fault solas for anything but being against this considering what happened to him it makes perfect sense he's opposed to the idea (especially when varric is going off of nothing but his gut and his own preconceived ideas of what a person ought to be).

what does the game want us to believe about mythal?

- the one we see in the murals is the one who put into motion many of the problems we see in the world today, even if solas is complicit/outright guilty of carrying them out for her.

- the fragment we meet in morrigan is "older and wiser" but still gives kind of uh. unsatisfactory answers to my elf rook about why she didn't help (oh she did, just here and there. i wish my rook could have been angrier about that. my rook, who frees slaves, and has seen solas free slaves, meanwhile flemythal... helped end a couple blights? thanks, but. that's not specifically an elf problem). she calls you her children in a way i felt kind of patronising. which makes sense, but it's a very. undesired benevolence, i suppose. but i felt like the game wanted us to think this mythal was Good(tm) and that i'd want to keep her around despite having little reason to want to root for her at that point. she also doesn't mention spirits and their part in all this at all, just physical elves.

- the mythal we meet at the secret area morrigan opens is just. an evanuris. thoroughly. this is the mythal that decided the best option to a conflict between elgar'nan and falon'din was to let two other elves die for it. if you tell her you don't need gods she calls you a child and fights you. you can get her on her side by being honest and saying you think she was wrong, which is nice i guess.

- i guess i'm saying we don't get a super satisfactory answer on why she was a charismatic and better than the rest. we see she had vallaslin even in ancient times (felassan) but no mention of that comes up anywhere. so i guess it's up to me to decide why solas is so easily and constantly persuaded to give up his very nature to do what he did.

ultimately i thought the relationship, despite not having a lot of ground for why it became so deep in the first place, was very interesting and problematic (positive). it parallels so nicely with briala and celene, and contrasts well with solas and the herald (or if you're me, solas and the thora cadash AND solas and ian). i don't know how much of the former comparison is on purpose as far as datv is concerned, but i do think it makes everything more compelling so i am running with it.

another criticism is that the rebels were just dropped in favour of the gods. disappointing! especially since the game makes a point of recommitting the future of the elves to solas's motivation in the convo with morrigan. like only 3 of the statues had memories? i wish that there had been an alternate set of murals for each, or something. the memories we have paint solas in mixed lights (sacrificing spirits, killing an agent) but most of the codices we receive have him in a positive to neutral light. i wish the game were more interested in exploring his dynamic with felassan, who calls him "old friend," and other rebels. it would have better served the "mirror" they're trying to make rook into to show solas building connections with rebels as you are with your team. show him loving the people he got killed, the same way i think you will be able to get your companions killed (if the pre-game comparisons to me2's suicide mission are any comparison).

anyway. i'm not even done with the first quest of act 2 god help me.

[thisriver1swild]

Okay so personal opinion.

But I've noticed a bunch of people are comparing Cole Walter and Conrad Fisher. Then Alex Walter and Jeremiah Fisher.

I feel like this is entirely just because of the obvious traits they share. like...Cole and Conrad being the older siblings and being kind of moody. But I think that by far Cole is a lot more like Jeremiah. Both just want to make their mothers proud, they both are prone to holding in anger until it results in very public outbursts, both have that like easy charm about them. I think the charm thing is what makes them so similar. They both have an outgoing energy about them that makes people want to be around them and with them. They both are the golden boys, everybody wants them, everybody wonders what it would be like to be with them to be loved by them.

MEANWHILE.

CONRAD AND ALEX. They're quieter. More reserved. Filled with anxious worry that more often than not they decide to keep to themselves. They don't want to burden other people with their own problems. They both keep things that hurt them deeply to themselves in order to let the people around them live in peace, even if it destroys THEM. They compare themselves to their bright and shiny brothers (Cole and Jeremiah), and they wonder why anyone would ever even consider them as an option when their brothers exist. They both are lean more toward the thoughtful side of things, sometimes overthinking, sometimes it works against them. But they both just love with all of themselves, and hope to god they can get that across. Even if sometimes it doesn't work...they both tend to just go quiet instead of facing things or dealing with the complicated.

I don't know. I might be overthinking it. But I'm just kind of tired of everyone saying that Cole is like Conrad. I just disagree.

Anyways...I'm an Alex Walter defender. That boy did his fucking best and his girlfriend cheated on him with HIS BROTHER. and his brother who spent so long swearing he would never betray him like that...BETRAYED HIM LIKE THAT. fucked up.

[mobiblackout]

So let's recap the Better Than You BayBay Saga so far and see who makes sense as the Devil and what the potential plan was before Cole's injury:

PHASE ONE: ALL IN

● Before the match at Wembley Adam insists on teaming up with Max to win the ROH tag belts, some people especulate that Adam is doing this to weaken MJF for the main event, but nothing happens in the match and they win despite many people's prediction.

● At the main event they both wrestle like their usual self before the double pin, only after that Adam gets frustrated and tries to win through nefarious means, he has couple of chances to beat Max up with the belt or low blow him, he even had hit Max with a belt in their first match despite being a babyface, here the first time Roddy comes out to help him he doesn't cheat.

● After the match Max throws his world title aside to calm Adam down, he very explicitly picks Adam over the most important thing in his life, and when Cole doesn't even look him in the eyes, Max gets angry, throwing the world title at Adam and proves once again that he cares about their friendship more than the belt.

● This is where Roddy comes and yells at Cole to hit Max with the title, but despite his history, Cole doesn't betray MJF. This could mean 2 things:

1. Cole sees his own benefit in staying with MJF.

2. He genuinely cares about Max

-> His previous action of refusing to cheat in the match is a proof that the second option is more likely but again, he might still be the same bastard as he he was before only that Max is really growing on him and Adam just simply respects their relationship enough to not fuck it up by cheating.

PHASE TWO: GRAND SLAM

● The Dynamite following All In, Roddy and Kingdom call Adam selfish and opportunitist (rightfully considering his background) and Adam just stands there talking about friendship and says he is a better person now and says Max is his best friend for the first time.

● On the built to Grand Slam, Roddy continuously tries to manipulate Adam by his fake injury. We see Adam by Max’s side whenever he's there, and Joe hurts Adam to get to Max. Everything's is very normal post All In.

● Before the main event of Grand Slam Adam gets a call from Roddy, and doesn’t show up to help Max until half through the match, people assume that Cole is playing Max by leaving him.

● So Adam shows up, and the two win by cheating. Again, why would Adam want Max to win by helping him? not to mention this contradics the possibility of Cole not showing up with Max to mess their plans up.

There are two possibilities:

1. He sees Joe as the tougher opponent and wants to keep Max as the champion, thinking he would win if he gets another chance.

2. Adam really cares about Max and is helping him to win.

-> The first option seems like a stretch since later Cole pushes Max to accept Joe's help in exchange for a title shot. Again, there are two possibilities here:

1. He wants Max to lose to Joe (why he helped him at Grand Slam then).

2. He doesn't want Max to be alone while he is injured and helpless himself.

PHASE THREE: FULL GEAR

● Immediately after Adam announce his severe ankle injury Roddy comes out asking for help again, Cole gets 'kidnapped' for several weeks and after he leaves that house he doesn't want to do anything with Roddy and Kingdom, so if they all are in one group why Adam is getting bullied in these segments?

1. They all are in one group clowning around as Max is left alone being attacked left and right.

2. Adam is genuinely a good person and wants to help Roddy not knowing they are abusing him.

-> I can't find a strong justification for Comedic Skits discontinuation besides:

1. They were getting creatively lame.

2. In kayfabe, Adam realizes Roddy is full of shit.

-> I mean, the second option also makes sense since he doesn't want to talk to Roddy every time Roddy tries to get his attention. But it all still can be an act while they work together behind the scene.

● Full Gear comes around, and Max gets distracted by Cole at ringside as The Gunns attack him to take him out of the match, probably knowing the 'clause in the contract'.

There are two possibilities here:

1. Adam is working with Jay White and helps them injure Max before the main event.

2. He does nothing wrong, and Gunns just use MJF's distraction to weaken him.

● Lots of nonsense happen here. They say there's a clause in the match contract that says Jay White becomes the champion if Max is incapable of wrestling. Adam sacrifices himself and stops this from happening by representing Max in the main event.

-> This contradicts the theory of Adam working with Jay White, so we got that out of the way, too.

● In the main event Max shows up driving an ambulance, selling his injury, in the match Adam tries to help Max cheat by giving him the Dynamite Diamond Ring and ROH tag belts, but the two objects end up in Jay White's possession. Let's assume Adam is fucking up Max on purpose again. This theory contradics with the fact that Adam stoped the belt being handed to Jay by volunteering to represent MJF in the match, unless he was going to lay there and take the pin since he is injured.

-> So this is all an overelaborated plan to strip Max of his title at the end, and Adam is working with Jay.

-> This all contradicts Adam=Devil story since the first person to be attacked by the Devil is, in fact, Jay White himself.

PHASE FOUR: WORLDS END

● We barely hear anything from adamjf as a team, Max doesn't even mention Cole past the first Dynamite post Full Gear. He just goes around accusing people of being the Devil.

_

[zebaji]

Summary:

Nya and Morro have a water balloon fight with the other ninja on a hot day. Obviously, they win.

In exchange with @butterpony100 for @morrotober's summer exchange!

Fic is under the cut!

Morro and Nya's Victorious Water Balloon Fight

Morro ties his hair back and grins sharply as he walks into the monastery’s courtyard.

So Wu wanted him to ‘take a break’ with these ninja? To unwind in the middle of multiple climate crises across the realm, and take a day of rest instead of going on missions to help with said climate crises? Fine.

He was going to ‘take a break,’ and hopefully by the end of the day, either he was dead again, or the Ninja would wish they were dead. He’s not picky– either option will do.

“Geez, Morro,” Jay waves an unbothered hand in his direction. “It’s just a water balloon fight. You can go back to solving climate change tomorrow.”

Nya drops the two buckets of water balloons next to Morro, and puts a hand on her hip. “Just a water balloon fight?” She asks, annoyance dripping out of her voice. ”Just like how you said it was just nindroids– and it turned out to be vengestone nindroids that were programmed to kill us?”

Jay pales and takes a step back, “I sense I have made a mistake.”

“Yeah, you have,” Morro tells him with a smirk as Cole comes to them carrying more buckets of balloons. He doesn’t even bother to wait for the others to show up before he flicks a hand out and four balloons bolt into the sky. “I suggest running,” he says, aiming the balloons at Jay.

The Master of Lightning gulps, but it’s far too late to save him from his fate. 

In the blink of an eye, water balloons fly through the air, much faster than anyone who wasn’t Morro could possibly throw, and Jay is now drenched from head to toe in… slushy ice?

Morro smirks as Jay screeches as he shakes off the rapidly melting ice from his head. “Zane!” He shrieks at the Ninjdroid who is accepting cash from a hysterical Kai.

“Totally worth it,” Kai cackles with a wide grin, wiping a tear from his face. “Thank you, Zane.”

The nindroid responds by tucking the cash in a hidden compartment in his arm, as Jay hurles a balloon at the two of them, and while Zane easily sidesteps the projectile, Kai only barely manages to escape the balloon from popping on his head. Which is impressive considering Kai’s hair is considerably more spikier than usual. “Dude! Watch the hair!”

Nya nudges Morro, who does his best not to flinch at the contact. “Aim for Kai’s hair next,” she whispers, as Lloyd steps out of the monastery, still in his pajamas as he stares at all of them in confusion. 

“What are you guys doing out here in the heat?” he asks, and in response, Nya and Morro share exactly one brief look at each other and adjust their aim. Balloons whip through the air at high speeds, but this time, their weapons of choice don’t reach their original mark.

No, their projectiles meet a much better victim. Someone who had eaten all of the cookies that had been baked this morning and left none for Morro and Nya, who had spent all of this morning trying to solve a large drought in the desert. 

Water hits Lloyd face and chest simultaneously, and he comically flails in front of Kai, sliping on Zane’s slushy ice, before collapsing in a heap on the ground. But Lloyd doesn’t stand back up in outrage like Morro was expecting. Lloyd doesn’t stand up at all.

Silence fills the monastery’s courtyard, as Kai kneels next to Lloyd and puts two fingers on his neck to check his pulse. Figures, Morro stares incredulously at Lloyd’s still form. It’s just my luck than when I was trying to kill him, he was like a cockroach, but when I’m not trying to kill him, he dies of something stupid. Death by water balloon? Was that even a thing?

“Lloyd,” Kai says, rolling his eyes as he shakes the Green Ninja like a rag doll. “Stop being dramatic.”

A whine escapes the heap that is the supposed ‘chosen one,’ and Morro lets out a small exhale in relief because he won’t have to explain to Wu, that this time, he didn’t actually mean to kill Lloyd.

Nya scoffs, “Don’t be a baby!” she calls out, before pelting Lloyd with another balloon.

Lloyd doesn’t do anything but wail again, but Kai looks up and grabs a few balloons from a bucket next to him. “For Lloyd!” He yells, and shoots the balloons at Nya.

The balloon splatter at her feet, and she locks eyes with her brother. Morro is suddenly very glad he’s on her team.

“Oh, it’s on,” she declares, launching a ballon at Kai, and everything dissolves into a frenzy after that.

Cole actually forms a rock shield from the ground to protect himself from Morro and Nya’s attacks. Zane makes every balloon colder and colder until Morro gets hit by a balloon of ice, and the Nindroid gets benched from the fight before Morro genuinely murders him.

When the balloons run out of Nya and Morro’s bucket, and they pause the game to restock– the former ghost takes a moment to scan the battlefield. Honestly for the past couple of minutes, it’s been Nya and Morro against Cole and Kai.

Zane’s out, observing the scene with amusment, Lloyd is still on the ground (Morro is pretty sure he went back to sleep right then and there), and Jay is cowering behind the fountain, looking drenched from head to toe. Yeah, Nya had been pretty vicious with her attacks.

Morro himself is barely wet, he’s been using the wind to dry himself any time he gets hit. The same can not be said for anyone else.

“We’re out of balloons,” Cole calls out, shaking the empty bag of balloons, as if something will miraculously fall out.

“Seriously?” Nya looks put off. “I thought you said you grabbed two bags!”

“Thank the First Master!” Kai slumps in relief, putting his hands on his knees. “My hair is safe.”

Morro frowns… Had they seriously not managed to get Kai’s hair wet this entire time? He purses his lips and catches sight of a balloon next to Lloyd’s defeated form. As discreetly as he can, Morro walks over to Zane, nudging Lloyd with his foot as he walks past. Lloyd groans, and rolls over– right into a puddle of water. Morro snorts, scooping up the last balloon. Poor guy.

“I’ll forgive you for the ballon of ice, and won’t murder you in your sleep, if you make this a slushie balloon,” Morro tells the Nindroid, and Zane grins despite the potential murder attempt on his life.

“Deal.”

Morro smirks and they shake hands, before he makes his way back to where Cole and Nya are still arguing over the lack of water balloons. 

“You can’t go to the store now, you’re too wet!”

“Here’s an idea, what if you went?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll just make the water balloons, but without the balloons.”

“That’s cheating!”

Morro ignores the bickering, and looks at Kai, who is still hiding behind Cole’s rock shield. “Hey, Kai,” He calls out, and his opponent makes the mistake of looking up.

A very fast, and very cold water balloon makes a home in Kai’s face and hair, and the Fire Ninja falls to the ground in no time flat.

Morro stands there smugly, as Nya collapses to the ground in hysterics, and Cole forgets about the lack of balloons to start laughing too, as Kai lays on the ground, ice coating his face. 

“KARMA!” Jay shouts, standing up from his place behind the fountains, and Nya, who is still cackling, jerks her hand, and the fountain’s water– that hasn’t been cleaned since the monastery became rebuilt a few years ago– spills the entire contents unto Jay’s head.

Once again, Jay’s screams fill the monastery. He wakes up Lloyd. “Can you guys shut up!” The Green Ninja demands, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I’m trying to sleep!”

Nya also sprays him with fountain water.

Lloyd splutters and chokes on water, but he can’t retaliate because there are no more balloons. Or water. Somehow Morro just keeps winning.

“I think we won,” As if reading his thoughts, Nya grins at ther sight of Lloyd and Jay being drenched in fountain water, and Kai mourning his hair that is ruined with ice and bits of ripped balloon pieces. While the others technically haven’t lost, they haven’t won either, since Cole has had his shopping skills insulted, and Zane, who Morro has learned can be bribed– and that isn’t a quallity a Ninja, let alone a Nindroid should have.

“We should do this again,” Morro agrees, and bites down a laugh, as multiple voices in the monastery let out a simultaneous:

“NO!”

[strangedreamings]

S2E5 (spoilers abound)

The credits sequence hasn't changed, as far as I can tell.

Driftmark. Corlys limping to the Driftwood Throne. He's weeping over the death of his wife. As far as he knows, he's lost everyone now -- both of his children and his wife. (It's even money whether the writers even remember that Laenor is still alive.)

There's a fucking famine and all the Greens care about is parading Meleys' head through the streets. Guys, reminding the people that dragons CAN BE KILLED probably isn't the wisest thing to do right now. How many of them have lost livestock to feed the dragons' stomachs?

The Targaryen family literally spent YEARS convincing the people of Westeros that being dragonriders made them superior, now you're showing them that a dragon is really just a giant, flying horse. This is going to bite you in the ass so damn hard very soon.

"It's just meat." EXACTLY!

If Rhaenys' body is on that wagon, they need to have the Silent Sisters escort it to Driftmark, it's the only decent thing to do.

Aemond is still so damn pretty.

To be fucking honest, I don't know if that's Rhaenys' corpse or Aegon II's almost-corpse in that box. I wouldn't put it past Cole to have Aegon II transported in a way that no one can see how mangled he is.

So it was Aegon. He must be in a coma to have not made a sound this entire time. As fucked up as he is, he still didn't deserve this.

Alicent, you don't want to see this. And when did you suddenly decide you give a damn about Aegon anyway?

Ugh, they have to cut his armor off him and honestly, he looks like barbecued meat. Aemond's got a lot to answer for but the only person who can accuse him is currently comatose.

The burns make him look like he has greyscale, it's that bad.

I'm not crazy about this Grand Maester but he does seem to know what he's doing.

Oh, his broken legs. Poor guy, he'll never be able to walk properly again, if at all.

Aemond sniffing around, wanting someone, anyone, to name him Prince Regent. Sadly, he's the best option. God knows Alicent and Helaena aren't in the right frame of mind right now to rule.

But really, if the monarch can't rule, it's supposed to be the Hand who fills in. Criston, stop cleaning your sword (are you having a Lady MacBeth moment?) and do your job.

Wait, Sunfyre is dead? I thought Sunfyre is the one that eats Rhaenyra. *side-eyes the writers* What the fuck?

"He who has left us after some marital spat." I really want this guy dead. Can someone just shank him, please? Again, someone calls him Ser Alfred, but what's his surname? I can't look this asshole up without a surname.

Excusing your misogyny isn't going to get you out of this, dude.

"You've seen no more battles than I have." God, I love you, Rhaenyra.

Jace and Baela. Honestly, Baela is the more mature of the two. Jace going behind Rhaenyra's back? To be honest, the Battle of the Gullet can't come soon enough, I'm sick of him. He's too immature, too hotheaded, and he listens to no one. He may be half-Targaryen but he's no prince.

Daemon involving himself in the Blackwood-Bracken feud. This is pointless.

I like Willem but I don't think Daemon can trust him, not when it comes to the Brackens.

The Eyrie. So this is the famous Lady Jeyne Arryn. She's upset that the dragons Rhaenyra sent with Rhaena are hatchlings.

"Will you goad me, child?" Honey, you're barely old enough to be her mother, shush.

I don't like Jeyne. I can understand her rage but I don't know, she's aiming it at the wrong target. Please tell me her offering her sympathy was not how Rhaena found out Rhaenys is dead.

"There is more than one way to fight a war." Let's get the propaganda machine churning! Again, I like Mysaria, but I don't know if Rhaenyra (or anyone) can trust her.

Where are they sending Elinda? This woman needs hazard pay.

Rhaenyra and Baela sharing memories of Rhaenys, this is what this episode needed.

Daemon's dreaming again but is that Aemma, Viserys' first wife?! Did Daemon have an affair with his sister-in-law or is he just straight tripping right now? At this point, we've seen every woman in his life in these dreams except for Rhea, his first wife. Blood on his hands again.

"My favorite son"? Is she supposed to be his mom Alyssa now? Daemon, your head is a fascinating place, I swear. You need to get out of Harrenhal with whatever sanity you have left.

Daemon's chair is as broken as his psyche.

Lord God Almighty, Daemon, you're not the fucking monarch. Saying anything otherwise is treason.

Grand Maester reporting on Aegon's prognosis and Aemond is over there smirking. Boy, you need a better poker face if you want the world to believe you didn't do it.

Alicent is made to see exactly how valuable a woman's voice is in a world ruled by men. Honey, I hate to say it, but you deserve this. Like Larys said, if they're saying Rhaenyra can't rule, then they can't have a female Regent.

Prince Regent Aemond. God help the realm.

"We should make for Tumbleton." Absolutely fucking not! You're not going to a town that's going to see TWO battles.

Cheese's dog following the cart with his body, so sad.

The woman who fucked the man who was supposed to be guarding her grandson is talking about temperance? Fuck you, you hypocrite.

"I did not give you leave to speak my name." Honey, you gave him leave to eat you out, the two kinda go together. :P

Their child's skin is GRAY, this kid is either dead or almost there.

Why are the Freys using a door as a table?

"Dragons cannot be in two places at once." These Freys do realize the Blacks have multiple dragons, right?

Fuck yes, give the Freys Harrenhal, that'll end that House right there and they won't be a problem for future generations.

"Bent knees." Yeah, Jace just woke up the whole fandom.

Secret pacts with the Freys never end well.

Daemon and Alys. I thought she was supposed to be Aemond's lover, not his.

Daemon's plotting to take KL himself. Yeah, keep dreaming. You're never leaving the Riverlands.

"The Blackwoods will be feted in these halls." With what money, Daemon?

Corlys doesn't want to be Hand but he does want to make Baela his heir, but she turns him down. Honestly, Baela should be Hand.

So I found out this guy's name is Ser Alfred Broome, and he becomes a turncloak. Raise your hand if you're at all surprised.

"Not while I live, Your Grace." Liar.

Hour of the wolf, the "blackest part of the night." So, something like four in the morning.

Ser Simon has the thankless task of keeping Daemon on target, poor guy.

Laena's back to remind Daemon that he has two daughters.

I have to love that this thunderstorm is big enough to cover Harrenhal, KL, and Driftmark.

Helaena knows what Aemond did. Is it bad that I still ship them? (Don't @ me, they're Targaryens.)

Alicent, you know you can put Aegon out of his misery, right? I'm sure there are plenty of pillows around. Just saying.

"Mummy." Aww. Go back to sleep, Aegon.

For the uninitiated, Vermithor was the dragon of Jaehaerys I (Viserys I's predecessor) and Silverwing was the dragon of Alysanne, Jaehaerys' sister-wife and queen.

So, they're going with Targ cousins instead of the dragonseed bastards to ride the remaining dragons? Interesting.

They're ending the episode there? Boo. Still no Ser Harrold.

Watching the credits. I love that the two units are named "Fire" and "Blood."

Next week's episode is gonna be gory, calling it now.