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[inknopewetrust]

𝐎𝐟 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐬

summary: after facing embarrassment from Aegon’s intrusive visit, Sylvi helps Aemond find attraction with someone closer to his own age. [aemond x fem!reader] [wc: 5.0k]

warnings: 18+ minors dni, smut, p in v, oral (m receiving), hand job, fingering, voyeurism/exhibitionism, aemond’s abuse by her is not tolerated here 🙂‍↔️, HotD themes.

quick links: masterlist | gif credit: @seaside-storm

The sounds of the Silk Streets in the early hours of morning were not for the faint of heart.

You had grown accustomed to them over the years of your residency—the noises, the people, the actions and wants of those who seek the services of an establishment like the one Sylvi ran.

It was not your proudest achievement; not one you’d shout from the rooftops but one that kept the food on the table.

It wasn’t hard. It was sex. And you learned to enjoy it with what little freedom was left when the coins were tossed and your body was aching.

Between your fingers one of those coins twirled absentmindedly as the curtains of your bedding swished at the retreat of your latest payer. There were seldom benefits from the occupation you took up yet the pay, after years of understanding and learning, had grown exponentially.

And the coin that tossed between your fingertips was enough to put food on the table for a few days; enough to buy a dress or to get passage to another town.

It was a reward for service you did not mind.

Sylvi had taught you what you needed to know. How to move, how to pleasure. She helped you determine what felt good and what would feel unpleasant to both you and a partner.

But she had her transgressions far beyond the positive.

One of them stalked the building in a fume.

The laughter that had propagated such anger left an hour ago but the remnants of the jesters stuck heavy in the air. They opened curtains and made spectacles of the givers and the receivers; they stared too long at you in the nude to make you feel at ease.

In the distance, you heard your name called yet you continued to flip the coin.

Aegon, the King as he was now, was no friend to the servants of pleasure. You consider yourself fortunate that he never sought you—as desirable, as insatiable, as you were.

It saved you from a world of hurt from a man as fickle as he was.

Although his reputation preceded him and the ire that still held itself like a cloud over the house was from his head, his brother, Aemond, was a welcome guest.

Though he too was someone you had not laid with either.

He had never lingered far from the woman of the house.

“Y/N.”

Said woman pulled back the curtain of your bed roughly. Against the pillows and covered in a robe the color of a midnight black, you lazily gazed at her.

���Did you not hear me call?” Sylvi asked impatiently. Her irritation was stinging.

“I was busy, Madame,” you responded loosely.

You arched your back and with it came cracks of relaxation. It felt good after being holed up in your bed for two hours.

“You know how Dornish men are,” you informed her. “That one was quite… spirited at this late hour.”

“What happy news for you,” she panned before nodding her head in the direction of her usual hideaway. “I seek a favor.”

“A favor?” You questioned with a mewl.

“It is for the one we do not speak of.”

Sylvi’s eyes gave you a warning. Aemond Targaryen… the one who fumed.

She had never asked for a favor regarding the Prince before and it intrigued you. It would fall a lie if you spoke of never having imagined what a man like him would be like in your bed.

He was a magnificent creature.

Tall and carved from the marble of a great sculptor, Prince Aemond was no stranger to the gazes of the pleasure folk. The way their eyes shined and pupils grew large, you were surely one of them.

It did not hurt that he was no more than the age you were now and had not yet taken a wife.

It was silly, however, to imagine a whore being the wife of a Prince. He had barely sparred you glances when he visited.

Dreams. That is all that it would remain.

“And you seek me?” You questioned, dropping the coin on your clothed stomach.

“I have a proposition for you,” she clarified. “One that will pay you well for your service.”

“The receiver is willing?”

“Yes.”

Her alcove was far nicer than yours.

Lavish with silken pillows and warm candlelight, it was near romantic if you forgot the circumstances of her actions. It smelt of lavender and oils; the kind she wanted throughout the establishment but could only create the corner she wanted here.

It was the first time you had been invited into the space.

Sylvi walked around you as you stood just inside of the curtains. She held the tassel of her robe between her fingertips, swinging it gently.

“We do not speak on what happens here, understood?” She asked you.

“I understand, Madame.” She nodded her head in approval.

“Good,” Sylvi affirmed.

On a ledge behind the bed, she grabbed a small sack of coins and tossed them to you. It landed with a jingle at the edge of the bed.

With delicate hands you grasped the strings and pulled open the bag to see coins worth the entire building. You dropped it, looking at Sylvi with wide eyes.

“T-This… this is far too much,” you scoffed.

“It is what the Prince offered,” she spoke as if the currency was nothing more than what the common folk paid.

There had to have been 10 gold dragons inside of the pouch.

The total jostled you.

You had long understood that the job you took on was ill-inspired. The money you had made was reasonable and never made you feel ashamed to take it.

But this… the currency enough to buy twenty horses; enough to buy a home or sail to Essos with no intention of returning… it did bring shame.

“And for such a currency what does the Prince expect of me? I will not be humiliated—“

“I have no intention of humiliating you.”

The voice cut through glass.

Behind you, with the curtains of Sylvi’s bedding swaying to a gentle close the man of her proposition appeared. You turned around with your mouth agape from the inability to finish your thoughts and as many mortals had before, your mind ceased its thoughts.

He was ethereal, otherworldly.

And he was fully nude.

You stuttered stupidly to greet him.

“P-Prince Aemond,” you managed. “I apologize. I did not intend to speak out of turn.”

He hummed, observing you as you did him. You straightened your back at the sensation. His eye piercing and cold—in a room basked in warmth he was not the bringer of it. Aemond let his mind roam the faults and perfections of your body and needn’t say what it was aloud.

He trusted Sylvi in a twisted way. If she said you were right for the job, surely she would not steer him wrong.

“So,” Aemond’s eye flicked to Sylvi. You took the opportunity to observe the blue gleam of the sapphire that filled the vacancy of his other.

“This is she?”

She introduced your name to him and his eye met yours.

“And the terms have been accepted?”

“They have, My Prince,” you spoke without hesitation.

“Aemond,” he clarified. “You are to call me Aemond.”

You tried his name on your lips and it was breathless. As his eye stalked your body, he took the initiative to take the step forward. The understanding of your willingness emboldened him to bury his brother’s words.

He was seldom humiliated but the reasons he flocked to Sylvi were different from the ones he sought from a willing companion: to release and forget.

Aemond approached you with soft steps and it was suddenly difficult to remember how to breathe. You held your breath, waiting, as his arm extended to you and his fingers brushed the fabric of your robe along your collarbones. He traced the skin with his fingers, along the edges of your robe as the delicate lacing became rough under his fingertips.

He was testing the waters.

You remained focused on his face as your heart rate began to increase. Every thump faster aligned with the draws of his fingers; long and nimble, softer than the men you were used to on days as long as these.

He was fluid and natural. There was no scared boy inside of him, but the hardened man he wanted the world to see.

Sylvi rounded her bed and you were reminded that she was still there as she looked at you.

“Touch her, Aemond. Touch her as you do in your dreams.”

At her command, his hand stilled. You half-thought her demands had sent him into a spiral of regret. Perhaps he would apologize for his lustful responses, scurrying away and back into the pit of dragon’s he came from.

Instead of listening to her in haste, he asked you a question.

“Where are you from?”

You were taken aback but remained stoic. Your job was to put on a performance no matter how surprising his words felt. No patron had ever asked you about, well, you.

You were nothing more than an orifice for their wanton needs.

“Honeyholt,” you responded quietly.

“Not far from Oldtown,” he commented, tracing the lace but never touching your skin. His hand grazed it until he reached the knot of your robe.

You shook your head, “no.”

“Did you enjoy it there?”

“It was far less exciting than King’s Landing.”

“May I?”

You had never had a patron ask permission before either.

You felt like a girl being dotted on. It was a strange feeling, one that had turned so drastically from a mere thirty minutes before—being treated like a doll to be thrown from one to be pampered… it was not what you were expecting.

“You may, Aemond.”

His finite hands worked the knot swiftly to let the robe fall open. When it did, he let it sit there for a moment as he took in the shape of your breasts underneath the fabric, he could see the mound of your pussy, and the way you stood completely still in wait.

He felt powerful when he normally felt meek.

Sylvi had been right. He did need this.

Aemond could feel the woman’s eyes behind him and whether they were on himself or you he would not know, but he felt them heavy.

He took his hands and pushed the fabric from your shoulders. It pooled around your feet in one push.

You breathed in deeply, nipples pebbling at the coolness now meeting you.

It was obvious, however, that your mere body was not enough to rouse him to hardness. If you spent anymore time watching him as he watched you, the sun would be up and his duties would call him away.

“Touch him,” Sylvi instructed you. “Do not be afraid.”

“I am not afraid,” you responded to her but did not look at her. She took a seat on her bed as you moved to stand toe to toe with Aemond.

“May I touch you?” You asked in the same voice of permission he had given you.

“You may,” and he said your name with a weight hearty on his tongue.

With his permission you reached for his right hand and placed it on your breast. His timidness was beginning to show through the hesitancy of his actions. The slow grip on your breast slowly became more comforting the more time he took.

“It’s alright,” you whispered as though Sylvi was not there and you were alone with the Prince. “You can touch me.”

You felt more pressure from his palm. Drawing your own hand to his chest, you began to feel the outlines of his muscles. Aemond was lean and fit, skinny but not sickly.

Each muscle was tense under your touch. He shuttered a breath through his nose and your hand recoiled in the slightest.

“I apologize,” he spoke as lowly as you had before. “I have not been with another in a long time.”

He had not been with another other than Sylvie in a long time, he meant.

“I can be slow, My Prince.”

“Aemond,” he corrected you.

“Aemond,” you said sheepishly in your forgetfulness.

“I do not need you to be slow.”

You nodded in reply and placed your hand back on his chest. You followed it down until you began to broach the zone in which your talents needed to please not only him, but Sylvi also.

If you were a disappointment, there would be no clothes nor food nor horses nor castles in your future.

“Then I will not go slow, Aemond.”

He hummed, intaking a breath as your fingers gently, kindly, fluttered over his cock. You looked up at him with your eyes hooded, eyelashes batting and he thought for an instance that no woman had ever looked at him that way.

Sylvi hadn’t and it awoke something with him.

You began to work him with your hand as he let his hand fall from your breast and brought it up to the back of your neck. He massaged the space briefly before holding onto you with a tighter grip.

In your hand he began to show himself to you. Growing in length, you licked your lips in anticipation and swallowed the bug that formed in your throat.

“Aemond,” you questioned as you stepped closer. You parted your legs to stand between one of his and he stopped you only by moving his other hand to grip your chin.

He could feel his heart beating out of his chest.

The feel of your hand on his cock was enthralling. So smooth and soft, gripping him in hardness at the right moments but never suffocating and never hurting.

“Yes?” He was near breathless.

You took his response with no words but a shifting of your hand. You left his shaft and snaked your hand to his balls, cupping them the best you could. His staggered breath brought a small, sly smile to your lips as he gripped your chin tighter and his eye narrowed.

“Would—“ in his grip, you could barely get words out. He changed his positioning to hold both sides of your neck. “Would you like to see what I can do with my mouth?”

“It would be a waste to not,” he grunted when your hand put pressure on his balls.

He released your neck and watched as you sank to your knees obediently. In your position, he was reminded of the good and pious that prayed to the Seven. Your eyes were so innocent but your mind wicked; your hands were pleasurable and your words soothing.

It was a change and it was working for him.

You sat with your knees apart, feet against your backside and heels digging into the flesh. You ran your hands down your body as he watched you delicately before running your hands up his legs and resting on his upper thighs.

Placing a soft kiss on one of his thighs, you worked yourself toward his member as it beckoned you. You grasped the base of his cock with your hand, placing a sweet kiss on his ever-swollen head.

You let saliva gather at the front of your mouth and let it dribble out and onto his cock before taking him with your mouth.

Aemond was heavy on your tongue. His warmth was sending electricity from your mouth to your core; you felt the throb of want begin to pool at your center. He took both of his hands and placed them at the top of your head but did not push. He did not force and he allowed you to escape when you needed to breathe.

But he was in another world.

Never had he been taken in such a way but his mind liked playing tricks. It was not his first and when he thought back on the times he had been pleasured as such it was not as enjoyable.

Yet, he forgot her stares and focused on you. A woman closer to his own age and one that had a system of morality of questions and seeking answers in regards to pleasure.

You took his extended gratitude and kindness and returned it with your own.

With every pull of your mouth, you filled the space with what your mouth couldn’t take with your hand. You squeezed at his base and it made him see stars. In your vision you could see him watching if you looked up.

How his blue gem gleamed at you…

As you turned your head and used your salvia and some of his pre-cum that began to leak to wet his shaft, you moaned at the sensation. It sent you tingling, drawing a hand away from his thigh; you brought it between your legs and began to rub circles on your clit.

The wetness gathered quickly. You shut your eyes as the two parts of you, mouth and cunt, were being used to your own delight. As you opened them again, Sylvi caught the corner of your eye.

She rubbed herself over her clothes and you halted. Hand retreating from your body in an instant; the salvia that had gathered landed on your thigh with a splat and your hand loosened what held onto him. Aemond let one of his hands fall loosely beside him as he looked up and kept focus on the wall in front of him.

He needed to change. He had asked her for this change for his own sake and it was time for it to happen.

“Sylvi,” Aemond muttered absentmindedly.

“Yes?” She prompted as if he were to ask her to join the two of you. Her tone made you nervous but he never let his other hand fall from your head.

She went to remove her own robe but he stopped her with a turn of his head.

“Leave us,” he commanded.

Slyvi paused her hands against her body, dejected at Aemond while her eyes bounced between the two of you.

You, your hand still on his cock and your lips barely kissing it. Him, with his hand on your head and mind completely taken by you.

“Aem—“

“Do I have to repeat myself?” He asked her calmly. His heart beat so fast at his strength. Never did he believe he’d be able to breakaway.

“No,” she rose from the bed and made for the entrance.

Your breath was hot on his dick when she stopped again. For one moment Sylvi waited for Aemond to call her back but she was met with silence; a heavy weight of agony as she stood there and received no reply.

It was her retreating footsteps that brought relief to your bones.

Aemond’s other hand returned to your head.

“I did not wish for her to watch us,” he informed you.

You looked up at him from your spot on the floor. Along your chin were remnants of spit or spent, he wasn’t certain. All the same, he took a thumb and gathered it from you. He brought the thumb to his mouth and sucked the gathering from it.

“I did not either.”

“Good,” he hummed. “Now get on the bed.”

You needn’t be asked twice.

Aemond refrained from touching you as you rose from the floor and sat on the bed. Once you were seated, he leaned down to grab your ankle and pushed back on your shoulder to lay down. The message was received quickly and you laid back and brought your other leg bent beside you.

You were completely at his mercy. Your walls clenched around nothing when he ran his hands over the skin of your legs. You extended your arms above your head; feeling the soft silk pillows and coolness of the sheets below your body. The sensations were overwhelming.

“I’ve never been with a woman like you before,” Aemond’s hands roamed further, pulling you down on the bed to meet his body but not entering you.

“And what kind of woman am I?” You sighed contently.

“A kind woman.”

“How do you know me to be kind?” You asked him.

One of his hands feathered the skin between your leg and lips. They grazed it again and this time, running his fingers through where you wanted him most. A selfless breath left your lips.

“Your eyes are kind,” he bent down to lay a kiss on your knee. “There are not many kind eyes here.”

He stuck one finger in, followed by another. Your hand reached for the pillows quickly, back arching at the sensation. You once thought his fingers to be long and nimble but they were much more. You felt them so clearly and cleanly.

They reached within your walls; touching the plushy skin as it grew in wetness and emitted slick sounds of pleasure.

Once he felt you were ready, he wanted to test his third finger.

“Gods,” you stuttered out as his third finger slipped in and it became so quick. He was running away with himself as the sight of your pleasure overtakes him.

“F-fuck.”

The words continued to fall from your lips as he picked up his pace. His fingers moved in and out, in and out, and then a rapid succession of moving them up and down. Your body trembled at the noises. The wet, squelching sound of a mess too far gone.

He may not have been as experienced as other men, but he had ruined you for all in the future.

“That’s it,” he whispered against your thigh again. He bent down to watch you writhe at his actions. “What do you need from me? Hm?” He asked.

“Nothing,” you panted. “Just you Aemond.”

“Just me?” He murmured. “What of my cock? Do you want to feel me inside of you? Finish inside of you?”

The idea sent you spiraling. You imagined how his cock would feel longer and thicker than his fingers. How it would plead against the spot to make you come undone.

“Yes,” you nodded. “I want to know what it feels like.”

He removed his fingers to grasp his length in his hands. Aemond pumped himself briefly before lining his head up with your entrance, gripping your hip as you stayed splayed before him.

And then he slid in.

Seldom could explain the moment but you had seen stars. You saw the galaxies spoken of by the Maester’s and worlds beyond your own. There was no feeling but him filling you so fully and totally.

He shut his eye. The blue sapphire still glittering in the light; Aemond saw peace grow with a gasp. Everything in his mind went blank with white noise. All he could hear was himself as he sheathed himself inside of your warmth with a simple push. He filled you until he could no longer.

It was sinful to feel so good.

He held himself there for a minute. You wanted to sit up, hold his body close to yours and feel his muscles contract under your touch but stay as pliant as possible.

Against your convictions, Aemond leaned forward and cupped your cheek with his hands. It was entirely intimate for a man you had just met.

But his touch lingered lifetimes. It was as if you knew him forever, and this singular moment was one of plenty.

Stilled inside of you, his thumb caressed your bottom lip.

“May I kiss you?” He asked promptly.

You moved your hips in a roll to urge him to move, wrapping your legs around his torso and arms around his shoulders. His lips brushed against yours.

He pulled his hips back and slowly slid himself back in.

You nodded your head the best you could against the sheets and he ticked at you. His nose nudged yours, your lips begging to be touched but he neglected them.

“No,” he cooed. “I need you to say it. Say you want me to kiss you.” Again, he slid out, back in and your hips met him there.

“Kiss me, Aemond. Kiss me, please.”

Pushing his cock deeper into you, your mouth fell agape and he used the opportunity to capture his lips with your own, swallowing your moan and losing himself in your intimacy.

He never thought a woman like you could make him feel so selfless.

Aemond knew nothing of you but felt everything. He needn’t understand the pieces of you to feel the rewards of lust and anger spilling out of him.

His mouth is so warm and wet. Aemond’s tongue danced with yours as your whimpers became gasps with the jacking of his hips into you. Your hands are bruising on his shoulders; grip tight and breaking had you been a stronger woman.

Aemond broke his kisses and moved his hand to your neck. His thumb put pressure on the bottom of your chin, pushing your head backwards and sending your spine arching.

If he took you any further, you’d split yourself in too. You mewled in pleasure and he let out a low chuckle, eyes low and observing as he pounded his cock in your pussy faster.

“Oh,” one of your arms shot up above your head and he took his other hand, the one not on your neck, and intertwined your hands together.

“Do the others fuck you like this?” He hummed.

“No,” you called into the air. “Not everyone is as good as you, My Prince.”

As your eyes met his, you felt your heart exploding. No one would ever hold you like this again. No one would know you in the secrets you shared here—so open and viewable yet shroud in the comfort of veils.

You like this. He knows you do. And fuck, he does too.

“You like being held like a worthy lady,” Aemond purred. “Like you’re not a whore.”

“You like being strong when they underestimate you.”

His hand around your throat tightened but didn’t suffocate you. Aemond’s fingers that intertwined with your own stayed together as he changed his speed. Slowing down and drawing his dick out to the tip and stuffing you again, he snickered.

“You are not weak.”

“No,” he narrowed his eye. “I’m not.”

“In here,” you groaned. “In here you can be anyone, Aemond.”

He knew it to be true.

Instead of responding with a smart retort or a scathing comment that would rival one of his brothers, he nodded his head and let it fall in the crook of your neck.

Within you, his solemn romanticism built a fire. It was aching; clenching your walls around him as your breaths became more heated and laced with a finish. His skin on yours glistened with sweat the more strenuous your meetings became.

You were holding onto a thin string when he lifted his head again and planted a kiss on your lips.

So personal, so intimate from what you were used to.

“I-“ you barely got a syllable out before your body shook with your orgasm hitting you like a brick through a glass window. Aemond removed his hand on your neck to grip your back as your body lifted from the sheets.

Your cunt had his cock in a vice. So tight and smooth with your wetness, he felt the stuttering sensation of his own building in a quick anticipation and as the shaking in your legs began to lessen, he pulled out of your pussy without warning and pumped himself before spilling his spent on your stomach.

Your eyes saw stars on the ceiling of the brothel. Aemond kissed between your breath as his fingers swiped through his cum. He drew a line from your stomach, between your breasts, and to your lips. You took his fingers covered in him into your mouth and licked him clean.

Once there was nothing left, his wet fingers palmed your breast with a sigh. You untangled your combined fingers and gingerly outlined the bottom of his scar.

He leaned into your touch absentmindedly before eagerly kissing you again.

Aemond would never confess why he did it.

It was an urge he had never felt; built in the emotions of his mind as he was wrapped in your kind embrace and away from the world that had created the cruelness that lived with him. You were not cruel. You were good and a sanctimonious creature at his alter of wavering faith.

You revived him.

And he barely knew you.

When he pulled away, you brushed a hand over his disheveled hair and smiled.

The feeling within him was foreign but it was hungry. He hungered for the bubbled nature of want that brewed in his bones. Aemond sought the feel of your hands on him and the way you settled in his motions without complaint or verbally assuring him what he was doing was “good for him,” when in reality, he knew it was not.

So in turn, when you smiled, so did he.

A/N: thanks for reading! As always comments, reblog, and likes are always appreciated. I love hearing from all of you.

[coinbasetradingguide]

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[cavegirlpoems]

I see we're talking about XP!

@thydungeongal and @imsobadatnicknames2 have interesting posts up, and now it's my turn to throw my thoughts out there. SO. I think of XP as the game itself offering you a little bribe. Do the things the game wantss you to be doing, and the game gives you an XP to say thank you. Get enough XP, and you're reward is greater a permanent bump in power, meaning greater ability to exert your will over the world and therefore greater agency. (Systems like Fate Points, Willpower, Inspiration etc work the same, except the increased agency is a temporary one-time thing, not permanent, so at times I'll lump them in).

So. Let's talk about a few different systems and how they handle this.

Let's start at the very begining (a very good place to begin). In the very early editions of D&D - back when Elf was a class - you got XP for treasure. Every gold coin you got out of a dungeon (or equivallent value of other treasure) was 1 XP. This worked well; the game wanted you to go into a dungeon and explore it for treasure, while trying not to die. If you succeeded, you got XP, which made you better at doing that so you could do it again in a more dangerous dungeon. And because treasure is XP, and treasure weighs you down, getting it out is a meaningful activity. Hell, many of these games measure weight and encumbrance on a scale of 'how many coins' to drive this home. It was a good loop. Early D&D has many faults (like the weird racism in the MM) but the xp system is something it absolutely nailed.

Next up, let's look at classic vampire the masquerade. At the end of each session, you get 1 xp just for being there, and then another if your character learned something, if you portrayed your character well, and if your character was 'heroic'. So, what's classic VtM rewarding? Ultimately, it rewards the player for being the kind of player the game wants. If you get into character, engage with the game world, and act like an interesting protagonist, you get rewarded for it. It's a bit fuzzy, and at the GM's discretion, but its very up-front with what it wants to incentivise. It was the 90s, they were still working out how to be a narrative-driven game, but you can see where they were going with it.

OK, now lets look at something a bit weirder; monsterhearts. The main source of XP here will be Moves. Rather than a bolted-on rewards mechanic, each game mechanic you engage with might grant you xp. You can use your strings on another PC to bribe them with XP when you want them to do something. Lots of abilities just give you an XP for doing a thing, such as a Ghost ability that gives you XP for spying on somebody, or aa Fae ability that gives other players XP when they promise you things. Here, XP is baked into the game, but its very up front about being a bribe. Act the way the game wants, or go along with other players' machinations, and you get rewarded for it. And, critically, XP is just one part of a wider game-economy of incentives and metacurrencies; it links in with strings and harm and +1forward in interesting and intricate ways that push the game forward. Monsterhearts is a well designed game, and you should study it.

Finally, let's look at how D&D 5e does it, as a What Not To Do! We have two different options. The first is XP for combat. When you use violence to defeat something, you get XP for it. Under this option, the only way to mechanically improve your character is by killing things. So, we can conclude that D&D is a game that wants you to engage in constant violence. The other option is 'milestone XP'. IE: you level up at the GM's whim, when they feel like it. What does this reward? Fucking nothing. Or, at best, you're rewarded for following the railroad and reaching pre-planned plot moments in a pre-scripted story. You either have no agency in the matter, or are rewarded for subsuming your agency to the will of the GM. (This pattern continues with inspiration rewards, which are given 'when the GM is entertained by you'. Fucking dire.) "Oh!" the 5e fandom says "But a good GM can write a list of achievements that will trigger milestone XP". And yes, they can, but that's not how the text of the game presents it. That's a house rule. That's the GM doing game design to add a new, better, mechanic to the game to fix its failings. Is it any wonder, then, that the 5e fandom puts so mucn weight on the GM's shoulders, and has such a weird semi-antagonistic relationship between GM and player? Is it any wonder that absolutely brutal railroading (and the resulting backlash of disruptive play) is so rife over there? Look at how the incentive structures are built? It's either killing forever or GM-as-god-king! Anyway, yeah. Consider what you reward with XP, because that will become what your game wants. And if you're hacking a game, one of the most efficient hacks is to change what you get XP for and suddenly the game will pivot to something very different.

[cozycottagetarot]

How Will They Pursue

How To Pick A Group:

Typically I recommend going with the image that you find you keep coming back to after giving each of the piles a once over.

Notes:

This Reading's Contents:

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. ✨

LINKS: Dividers | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Paid Readings — Open 🫧

PILE 1

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Cards: Two of Cups, King of Cups, Nine of Swords (Bottom Deck: Queen of Swords)

I feel like this is a decision that is well thought out and long pondered on. Your person may come across as slightly intimidating in some manner—  likely due to a label attached to them. They are also someone who is very loving and very giving but guards their heart. A relationship with you or I should say pursuing you is something they acknowledge would have its respective challenges due to your differences, but the pull or attraction they feel towards you is one that they don’t want to miss out on. For them, there’s this sense that they’d endure anything because the reward of solidifying your bond is worth it.

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

Cards: The High Priestess, Nine of Swords, Three of Cups | Four of Wands, The Chariot, King of Swords rev

Your person's initial approach may have a bit of a faulty start. With the nine of swords here, they may overthink how to get you to like (?) them and come across as a bit of a ‘know it all’ … it’s not intentional, I’m hearing that they’re just trying to come across as a good candidate. That doesn’t feel like it lasts a long time though, it could simply be the first conversation or so… or maybe it happens before they decide they want to actively pursue you. Your person would turn to their intuition or lean on that 'divine guidance' for insights on how to best approach you. They’d approach you as a friend first or at the very least someone who wants the best for you. They want to be there by your side celebrating every accomplishment and cheering you on. I think they may also feel like that’s the most authentic way for them to show up balancing being true to themselves and what they believe in versus how you would be receptive to them.

Thank you for reading! 💕 This reading has an extended version available on my Patreon. All tiers have full access to the reading, along with the images of the cards, or you can purchase that particular reading as a one-time purchase from the shop section.

Extended Reading Includes:

Hidden Desires — What desires are they not openly expressing?

Actions and Effort — What actions will they take to show interest? (Available on Patreon Free)

Communication Style — How will they communicate their feelings and intentions?

Romantic Gestures — What kind of gestures can be expected?

Timing and Pace — what will be the timing and pace of their pursuit

PILE 2

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Cards: Nine of Coins, Five of Coins, Four of Swords

Your person pursues you because they feel abundant with you. I think they’ve been through a lot from a young age and have been 'demonised' throughout their life… seen as someone who just represents destruction. But with you, it’s a new sense of happiness and joy. You’ve offered them comfort and kindness seeing them for who they truly are under the surface (which may be a little rough around the edges). I kind of feel like they hate or resent everyone (not out right but it’s there) but you. They put in the work though and now it’s like ‘okay, I can enjoy life fully’ and in a way, you’re sort of a reward for all the bad things that have happened.

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

Cards: Knight of cups, Two of Laurels, Eight of Laurels | Death, Ten of Cups, Eight of Cups rev

Your person is going to offer you their love right off the bat, but it won’t be inherently romantic. More along the lines of offering themself as a friend or companion. They will work to juggle putting the effort in with you versus their fears and insecurities. I think it could create a little bit of a push and pull between you two… or not quite a push and pull but more so one moment they're easily available and the next they're there for you still but you can sense they’re distant. It’s a new beginning for them (and in so many other areas of their life) so they’re working through those fears as they come to see where things go with you. With the ten of cups, they may also see you as family— found family to be more specific. So where things go from here they don’t know— but they are willing to find out.

Thank you for reading! 💕 This reading has an extended version available on my Patreon. All tiers have full access to the reading, along with the images of the cards, or you can purchase that particular reading as a one-time purchase from the shop section.

Extended Reading Includes:

Hidden Desires — What desires are they not openly expressing?

Actions and Effort — What actions will they take to show interest? (Available on Patreon Free)

Communication Style — How will they communicate their feelings and intentions?

Romantic Gestures — What kind of gestures can be expected?

Timing and Pace — what will be the timing and pace of their pursuit

PILE 3

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Cards: Queen of Cups, The Empress, The Star

Your person may idolise you a little bit.  You have a very feminine energy (regardless of gender as always)— you’re very caring and have a motherly/parental quality to you. Subconsciously this is attractive to them… I don’t know why yet. You’re someone they can turn to when everything feels bleak. On some level, I think there’s that possibility that they could want you to be the parent of their kids (hear me out 🤦‍♀️) or they want someone who can handle kids – What I mean by this last part is that I think there’s a certain level of patience/understanding/compassion that one has to have to 'successfully wrangle' kids lol. I think you’re also just someone who brightens up the world and is so abundant, and they want you to brighten them up too. It’s like that song “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, Never let it fade away.” But as much as they see these attractive qualities in you, they also want to give you back some of that light that you always give out.

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

Cards: Five of Cups, Page of Wands, Six of Wands | The Waker, The Queen, The Diviner

I kind of feel like your person pursuing you won’t be very difficult for them because I think you’ll be down for it. Spoiler alert, for the other piles it kind of felt like their person was more subtle and those reading the pile were kind of oblivious to it, but with you, it’s like you’re down for them from the start too. Are they aware that you would say yes to them? I’m not fully sure. I haven’t been reading the bottom of deck cards but I ended up looking at the bottom of the deck and you have The Lovers. For me it just all kinds of feels like commitment or the acknowledgement that you too are very important to each other is inevitable… but you guys are open to the journey and seeing how it plays out. There’s a factor of excitement in their pursuit of you also but overall this person feels pretty chill but confident in how they show up.

When it comes to their initial approach, they’re going to put in the effort to pursue you in a way that feels comfortable for you. They’ll learn about your past hurts and do their best to get to know you. I think that’s really what creates success, them getting to know you and learning how you want to be loved/cared for. Even when/if you pull back they’ll be patient. They won’t rush the development of your connection or your readiness.

Thank you for reading! 💕 This reading has an extended version available on my Patreon. All tiers have full access to the reading, along with the images of the cards, or you can purchase that particular reading as a one-time purchase from the shop section.

Extended Reading Includes:

Hidden Desires — What desires are they not openly expressing?

Actions and Effort — What actions will they take to show interest? (Available on Patreon Free)

Communication Style — How will they communicate their feelings and intentions?

Romantic Gestures — What kind of gestures can be expected?

Timing and Pace — what will be the timing and pace of their pursuit

[goldfades]

headcannons of you being a media girl for the team and KK constantly annoying you and pulling you with her to make tiktoks

you cannot tell me that kk wouldn’t be all up in that camera

“welcome to the kk arnold show-“

“ KK GIMME MY DAMN CAMERA!”

𝐔𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍 𝐖𝐁𝐁 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐑!𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

─ warnings | nothing but light banter, pretty much nothing else?

─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!

─ ev's notes | so instead of like media girl hc's, i'm gonna do manager, it's basically the same thing except manager kinda does everything, it's not limited to photos and social media. it's BASICALLY the same just more of an umbrella term LOL, i hope y'all enjoyed!

you've been the manager for the women's bb team since freshman year and let's just say it's SO chaotic but very rewarding

and yes, you're so right

kk would force you to be in the videos and you're all like force smiling, looking like you're being held hostage

everyone in the comments are SCREECHING cus your answers are always so hilarious and they all love you

"who has the best music taste on the team OTHER THAN YOU?" "other than me?????" "yeah.." "no one, i have the best one"

but people love you sm

i feel like they'd make compilations of you interacting with the team (in specifically the tiktoks bc they're funny af)

eventually people coin the term... "y/n and her toddlers"

you're like the mom of the team (obviously cus ur the manager) but like in more ways than just one

like the freshman first start to open up to you, every comes to you for advice, etc etc

they all just ADORE you

cus who wouldn't?

since you're in charge of the social medias, you FEED the paige bueckers girlies

you take so many pictures of our girl and everyone on tiktok loves u for it

on the buses to games, oh god bless u

especially the really long car rides, everyone will do anything but sleep when the only thing you're tryna do is sleep

LIKE EVERYTHING, they will bring cases of redbull bc they swearrrrr it's team bonding

(they just wanna shit talk everyone they know)

they drag you into everything, especially like if two (or multiple) of the girls are having problems bc you usually know how to deal with them

they adore you yes, but they also fear the fuck outta you

so you make them sit down and talk it out (with you + any seniors at the time to make sure they actually do) then BOOM it's fixed

again, you're like their mom

here's a little snippet of what it's like being their manager 😗

──

"Hey y'all, welcome back to the KK Arnold show! Today we're gonna go interview the mysterious Y/N," KK shouted as she looked at the camera with a smile, beginning to walk to the sidelines of the empty court. She gestured to keep walking until they eventually reach you.

You looked up to meet the camera with a confused smile as you setup your camera. KK couldn't help but let out a laugh, causing you to shake your head in amusement.

"Everyone wanted to have an interview with you, how do you feel about that?" KK finally got out after she stopped laughing, unable to maintain a straight face at your confused expression.

You laughed softly, adjusting the camera before responding, "Uh... well you know, it's part of the job."

KK shook her head dramatically as the camera zooms in on her face, "She hates you guys, Y/N is a D1 hater-"

"No, oh my god shut up!" You laughed as KK gave you a mock glare. "I love you guys."

"How do you feel about the edits?" KK held in her laugh as she glanced back at you then the camera, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Of... Paige?"

KK shook her head, "No, of you."

"There are edits of me?" You couldn't but laugh as you shook your head, taking a seat on the bench as you finished up setting up your film camera.

"Yeah, the people are going feral." KK smirked, clearly enjoying your reaction. "Oh don't act like you haven't seen them, we send them to you on the groupchat."

You glared at KK before she bursted out laughing, putting up her hands in surrender. "Bro, leave me alone."

"No, you signed up for this when you became manager." KK joked as you held in your laugh with a thin-lipped scowl, pretending to be annoyed.

Before you could respond, Paige and Nika walked out to the court and KK waved them over. "Guys, Y/N's being a hater again."

"Aw, be nice to the freshman, Y/N." Paige joked as she joined you on the bench. KK sent her a glare as you and Paige laughed, Nika joining you two on the bench with a grin.

You shot KK a playful glare, though the corners of your lips couldn't help but twitch upwards. " Yeah, freshman privileges only go so far, KK. Don't push your luck."

"Bro," KK sighed exasperatedly as all three of you laughing. "Anyways back to the interview, how do you feel about the Paige edits?"

You and Paige glanced at each other before Paige began laughing. "Actually, as an veteran-edit watcher, they're really good. I don't know about the audios though, they're not very cordial."

"Oh my god, Y/N watched the KK Arnold show confirmed?" KK gasped as laughed loudly, joined by Nika and Paige.

"Bro, I recorded that video."

KK's smile dropped as she dramatically side eyed the camera and gestured toward her neck. "Cut the cameras, cut the damn cameras."

The camera didn't cut, it zoomed on all three of you laughing loudly. KK tried to maintain a serious expression before she sighed dramatically, "the haters are gonna keep hating."

"Facebook ass quote," Paige mumbled as you began laughing even harder, feeling your stomach beginning to hurt as tears began to build in your eyes.

"Oh you really wanna play with me right now," KK joked as she stormed toward you and Paige as the camera cut dramatically.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[goodomensafterdark]

Feature Fic Fursday

FFF - Feature Fic Fursday!

This is a special day of the week: fic recs Thursday (pronounced à la Française)!

Each week, we will browse the Good Omens After Dark official AO3 collection, choose a tag and promote the fics that are featured in it!

Have a tag idea for the next week? Comment it!

Have other fic recs, or your own fic would qualify for the tag? Reblog and throw in the link!

Tag of the week: Clothed Sex

Lavender Isn’t Scary by redheadedjapanese

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Smut

Word count: 5,780 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: In 1953, freshly reunited after their 1941 adventure, Aziraphale and Crowley have returned to their Arrangement of flipping a coin to handle combined blessings and temptations. Aziraphale is a bit rusty with the latter, especially with matters of lust, and one such assignment has arisen with an American target - at the height of the U.S. moral panic known as the Lavender Scare. Clearly, his work is cut out for him, but Crowley is here to assist because that’s what…friends are for.

Surviving Strawberries by DoonaRose

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Smut

Word count: 1,933 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: It’s bad enough that Aziraphale has dragged Crowley out in public to ‘Do something’ on Halloween – Crowley would have been much happier staying in the bookshop. What’s worse is that Aziraphale has chosen tonight to ‘Explore some new activities’, which meant visiting a drag club and forcing Crowley into a ridiculous pair of plastic red horns, and a long red devil’s tail looped into his belt, trailing behind him for all to see. Then Aziraphale orders strawberries and rather deliberately continues to torture Crowley - in public!

Pine and Surfeit by CelestialThighMuffs (FlyingBi)

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Smut

Word count: 2,423 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: “My mouth?” Crowley hissed, flipping them over so he could lean down and nibble on his ear. “Oh angel, that was only the appetiser. Wait until you see what the main course is.” He slithered his tongue over Aziraphale’s neck, independently wiggling the forked tips as they dragged over stubbled skin. Crowley mixes up his days and he's late for dinner. He's in the middle of pampering himself when Aziraphale shows up at the flat to check on him and insists on helping...until they can't help themselves. Loosely inspired by this scene between Bond and Moneypenny in Skyfall.

Indulgences of the Flesh by Pixiefairy15

Gift for RoyalBlep

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Smut

Word count: 3,725 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: Aziraphale’s specialty was indulgence; if you looked in the Encyclopædia Britannica, you might as well see a little picture of the angel, pink cheeked and well-stuffed. Complete and utter indulgence was what Crowley had been aiming to elicit in his angel when he made the decision that this year, they would be celebrating Valentine’s Day. Crowley gifts Aziraphale with roses and chocolates, and receives a proper reward for his devotion.

Conflict Resolution by ElysiumLeo (The_Nerd_Alert)

Gift for WingsofOpal

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Smut

Word count: 5,767 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: After a seemingly senseless argument, Crowley has stormed out of the bookshop to go cool off. Aziraphale should be irritated with him; he didn't even know what the argument was about! But knowing his darling, Aziraphale simply decides to wait until his demon is ready to return, knowing that when he does, they will have the chance to make amends with each other, like they always do. He just didn't anticipate that their latest attempt at an apology would be so... intimate.

(or, The one where the Ineffables discover they have a SERIOUS cockwarming kink, and have a great time experimenting with it.)

Dough by CemeteryAngel725

Gift for Lullanda

Rating: Explicit

Genres: Smut

Word count: 673 words

Chapter count: one-shot

Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale argue about how to knead pizza dough. Aziraphale shows Crowley how to do it properly.

That’s all, folks!!

[writingsofwesteros]

The sweet Princess was walking through the gardens with her Uncle Aemond. After the war Aemond spent time away from court, mostly on Dragonstone, ruling their family's ancestral seat- a reward granted to him by Aegon. He had returned to court for her name-day, which Aegon insisted would be the grandest celebration in all of Westeros- much to the chagrin of the Master of Coin.

"My, how you've grown," Aemond commented as he walked beside her. "I see now why even on Dragonstone they know of the Golden Princess."

"Thank you, Uncle," She said softly.

"I see you've your father wrapped around your finger," Aemond hummed in amusement.

"I told father he need not go to such lengths," She told him. "But he insisted, he said that he would have nothing but the best the Crown could give."

"Indeed. And has he decided who you are to wed, sweet niece?" He asked. Her cheeks flushed. "Oh, I- I don't think so. Father gets angry when such talk is brought up. He says I am not ready, that tis not the time." Aemond's brow furrowed.

"But you shall be ten and eight, upon your nameday, sweetling. Surely you know your mother wed your father when she was ten and four."

"I know," She replied. "But Mother agrees with Father. She grows upset when the talk is brought up too much- though I am not particularly upset about it."

"Hmm," He glanced down at her, her hair was like gold and silver silk woven together. She was sweet, his niece, gentle, like a dove, though she was undoubtably spoiled, not that it surprised him. Aegon positively revered the girl, Aemond would not doubt that if Aegon could make the realm worship her instead of the Seven, he would.

"I am so pleased you came, Uncle," She said softly. "Mother has missed you, and Father too- though he would not admit it. He shows it in his own way, though. At night he would often recount stories of your youth together. Of how you and he rode into battle on dragonback."

"Indeed we did," Aemond said. "How often do you ride, sweet girl?"

"Often," She smiled. "I adore it so, Mother, Father and I go together when we can, though when I go alone Father and Mother itch for me to return." Her eyes were round, and wide, looking up at him so sweetly as she rambled on about her silver-gold mount.

"Come, little one," Aemond said lowly. "It's been far too long since you've seen Vhagar. Perhaps instead of riding your mount, you would join me atop Vhagar for a ride?"

"Oh, Uncle," She beamed. "I would adore that." He smiled to himself, and stroked her cheek. "Come on then, sweetling."

Aemond being the best uncle thank you ; he really is the best girl uncle/dad.

She links arms with him whilst moving towards his dragon with excitement

[uwabbittuwabbit]

some like it hot rosquez :) based on this picture this is my first time writing smut lol so apologies for the length :( also i am SHIT at writing dialogue i am so sorry

It's an ugly feeling. There's no air conditioning in the room they're staying in and Vale has Marc pressed into the mattress with his hand in his hair, the window thrown open as an only respite to the feverish weather. A rectangle of pure heat frames Marc's head, the sunlight separating it from the rest of his body that lies beneath the shadow of Valentino. They're both rank with sweat and as Vale mouths the column of Marc's neck he also tastes: sunscreen, the saliva in his mouth, the metal links of a necklace. Valentino grins, taking the chain between his teeth, and he pulls. He was always one to take the reins that were handed to him, to bite the bit when the time was right. And Marc is easy, so easy; a loud, choked off gasp leaving him as he follows Vale's lead, his head rearing back. Vale can feel Marc's throat working against the chain, the movement pressing the links into his tongue. Another sound escapes Marc, a little hiccuping whine, and Vale chooses this moment to let go of the necklace; rewarding him with a particularly nasty downstroke of the hips, his dick somehow feeling hotter than the searing entirety of Marc all around him. God, it was hot, his palm damp in Marc's hair, sweat dripping into his eyes and making them sting. He can feel Marc, how he bucks with impatience, that he's close, and he can see it in his minds eye, the finish, tunnel vision like in the straight before a checkered flag. So, Vale does what he would with the bike: chest pressed against the burnished skin of Marc's back, he brings it home.

"You should wear my things more", he tells Marc after, when they are no longer so sticky with sweat. He's rewarded with a breathy little laugh, and as Vale feels Marc's hand stroke through his hair he thinks he can still see the little indentations left behind by the necklace on Marc's neck, the number 46 still vaguely etched into the side of his collarbone. The feeling that overwhelms him, then, can only be described as terrifying. Never has he felt something so total and absolute for someone that it eclipses all reason, that he has to close his eyes to let it pass. When he has gathered enough sense back into himself, Marc's gaze is upon him, sweet and amber in the fading daylight. Maybe he fell asleep, the heat dragging him under, making everything slow, slow. Vale has always counted himself as one of the luckiest men in the world but he never thought he would be so lucky to have this, to walk off from the table having gambled all of his life's savings away but for one coin, one more bet left in the cards. That, he supposes, is love, and the sweltering confines of the cheap motel room suddenly become altogether too much again. The soft smile on Marc's face ticks into something sharper, bladed with mischief. "Well, obviously, since you're such a narcissist", he replies, oh the little bastard! Vale cannot help the incredulous sound that tumbles out of him. Inspired, he reaches towards the little charm of his number around Marc's neck, bringing it to his mouth to kiss it. Now it's Marc's turn to laugh his odd laugh, his shoulders shaking with mirth, eyes crinkled with it. "I am entirely full of myself but so are you," Vale declares, wiggling his eyebrows for maximum effect. He's an old dog with old tricks, but who is anyone except for Marc to judge? And Vale knows, sees Marc fall for it every time, his giggles intensifying as Vale sets upon him with kisses all along his neck and face. He was thinking of something more permanent, maybe. He was thinking about a ring on Marc's finger. But that can wait, because if anything, they have time. They have all the time in the world.

[sunderingstars]

☆━━━━━ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ━━━━━━☆

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ SIMULATED UNIVERSE ⌝

sampo analysis m.list

— what the stars reveal: interpretative analysis, elation!sampo & doll!sampo, theory, op trying so deeply & calmly to keep it together and not look like a conspiracy theorist

— word count: 3.9k

— overview: (as of 2.6) a look at the aha stuffed toy, curio hacker, and the *perfect* grand challenge simulated universe occurrences!

☆━━━━━ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ ◯ ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ━━━━━━☆

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ AHA STUFFED TOY ⌝

This one’s a doozy, folks! As much as Curio Hacker gets passed around as a pretty obvious Sampo Occurence™ (which it is, don’t get me wrong), I feel like Aha Stuffed Toy includes just as, if not more, lore implications as to who and what Sampo might be. So, here I am to give the breakdown:

Recurring references to currency, including gaining, losing, and most notably, dispensing it. Starting with the base occurrence, we can see that the toy is said to reward you more gold coins the “worse the beating is.” This is further shown by the tiers of Cosmic Fragments awarded to the player depending on what option they choose and what percent they happen to get. Part luck, part choice, Aha Stuffed Toy makes a clear connection between violence and money.

As for Sampo, he is the character most associated with both Elation and the transactional nature of currency, so I find this an interesting connection. Additionally, the Sampo of Finnish mythology was known for “dispensing” wealth (in this case, gold & Cosmic Fragments) onto others!

Being made in Aha’s own likeness. As detailed in my Aha Splash Art Analysis, I find similarities between Sampo’s character model and the silhouette in Aha’s splash art. While I used to attribute this to a more directly Aha!Sampo theory, I am beginning to think this may be explained by the occurrence here. If Sampo, as a toy or otherwise “creation” of Elation, were to have similar features or even be the spitting image of Aha’s silhouette, any connections between their appearances would add up.

It would also make sense why Sampo gives the Express itself a wide berth — Pom-Pom may be familiar with Aha’s physical form from Their time on the Express, and may even be reluctant to believe Sampo is a different being despite sharing the same physical appearance.

Elation path option. Heading into Swarm Disaster, this is where things really start to heat up. This is probably the most “crazy red string theory” my brain gets, since there’s so much to unpack here! It’s important to note that since this is an Elation path matching an Elation occurrence, I’m more inclined to view this as our best source of understanding what’s truly going on. Starting with the options themselves, they are split cleanly in half (a 50/50 if you will). Similar to the base occurrence, Cosmic Fragments are either gained or lost depending on chance.

The text when Cosmic Fragments are lost is, well, very Sampo-aligned in my opinion. The doll, breaking the 4th wall into self-awareness, turns to look directly at you (the Trailblazer; potentially even the player of the game) and brazenly steals your currency. Moreover, the text before making the decision mentions that “only Aha knows the secret…” — Huh! Interesting! Although I am very worried about the doll’s head blowing up in the second option, it still serves as a link to Sampo’s penchant for including bombs in his kit. Overall, this is the part of the occurence I associate most with Sampo, from the stealing of currency to the self-awareness to the hint that his identity may be some secret that only Aha knows or is able to reveal. 10/10, no complaints!

Erudition path option. Erudition is also interesting, since it gives you the option to dismantle the toy, immediately giving you Cosmic Fragments. This mirrors (in a general sense, with some liberties taken) the destruction of the Sampo in Finnish mythology, as well as connects once again to the idea of being bestowed wealth. 

Venting of extreme emotions. As with the “made in Aha’s own likeness” line, I find it interesting that the doll is not only specified to have a direct purpose, but that that purpose is to… well, basically be a glorified punching bag. In an occurrence, this isn’t a huge deal, given the player probably has a passing thought of “oh, Aha’s being silly again” then continues on their way. However, if we think about the probability of these toys being real and potentially a character we know, things get trickier. Suddenly, this isn’t a fun “joke” where some pre-recorded inanimate toy acts as a stress ball, but the horrifying reality of a self-aware, sentient being who can likely feel every hit it takes — a joke taken too far, if you will.

This makes me feel much more out-of-my-depth when considering Sampo’s unknown backstory, since it may be much more traumatic than we’ve predicted so far. Also, if anyone in this game comes across as a “glorified punching bag,” I’m sorry Sampo, but my mind is immediately going to you. I’m still sad about it, though. :(

The goading. Similar to the venting of extreme emotions, this occurrence very much goads the player into getting more and more violent with the doll. “One more? There is so much frustration in your life, after all” makes me feel so yucky. Like so yucky. It almost feels like Aha (despite not being involved in the quality control process) is absentmindedly trying to push us directly towards messing this poor doll up more!

It makes sense, though, that most of our in-game dialogue with Sampo is mean or simply doesn’t have a “nice” option then — it may be Aha’s way or a result of Sampo’s own existence pushing us into that “frustration,” into that want to vent our extreme emotions.

The embedded chip. In addition to being a quite common mantra among Elation entities, the chip sticks out to me through its unique use of blended third-person references. It doesn’t feel exactly the same as when Aha refers to Themself directly in third person, but it does have that slippery feeling of the “in-between,” of a doll so at a loss for autonomy that it has no choice but to play the pre-recorded message of an entity it is bound to through no will of its own.

In a way, Aha!Sampo could still work with Doll!Sampo, albeit in a more roundabout way. Perhaps, beyond sharing physical similarities, there is also a kind of mental or referential similarity passed down through osmosis whenever a doll is created in the likeness of its creator. Perhaps, this likeness even transcends appearance.

Integer overflow. Nothing specific to say, other than that it is a useful connection to the more tech-minded “Curio Hacker” occurrence, with Aha Stuffed Toy mentioning “manufacturers” / “systems to store virtual data” and Curio Hacker mentioning virtual avatars and data forms.

Bonus: Sampo’s head-to-body ratio (despite being like every other tall male character’s body, yes, please just let me be crazy) matches with the idea of a doll whose body is several times larger than it’s head — I mean look at that man, he’s beefy and tall!

Bonus-Bonus: The voyeurism of it all definitely makes the situation more fucked up! Like imagine being this doll, already born into an existence purely for the sake of getting pummeled around like a kickball, and your creator makes it abundantly clear that They want to see this happen to you! With their own two (or many, or zero) eyeballs! I’d cry, that’s for sure.

Overall, this is a lot. This is definitely a lot. I have more I could say, but to mitigate the risk of devolving into crazed rambling, I’m going to let this section speak for itself and move on to “Curio Hacker.”

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ CURIO HACKER ⌝

Divergent Universe Additions:

A lot has already been said about this occurrence, so I’ll keep it short and sweet: the “blue-haired being” is a direct connection to Sampo (who is often referred to by his blue hair in a similar way) and the self-aware nature of its actions (knowing it’s in a game and trying to replicate Curios) also matches with Sampo’s general self-awareness as a character. Now, with that out of the way, I’d like to continue into a more niche discussion — that of the Curios the hacker gives us.

Organic Heart

Story: What sticks out to me the most about the text here is the merging of two distinct objects — an apple and a heart — into a single, new existence. I think there’s something to be said here about Sampo’s potential identity; his merging of Nihility and Elation, Masked Fool and voice of reason, mortal and immortal. The combination of two separate entities into one until they are unable to be distinguished from one another, folding into each other until they are both a sum and a subtraction of all their parts, hopelessly melded into a new, unique form of existence, not a heart or an apple but a heart-apple, an apple-heart, the fruit of an organ and blood mixed with seeds mixed with juice, the crunching of something not entirely edible, not entirely rotten. Something that, according to the story, still can’t be fully defined.

Gold and Gears: In Gold and Gears, the function of Organic Heart is to remove the golden dice face for four turns, then grant two cheat attempts. This matches up with both the implications of a “hacker” — someone who cheats the system by default — and Sampo’s generally shady demeanor, always trying to find a loophole he can squeeze through. The interesting part of this is the presence of the golden dice face, particularly the removal or hiding of it for a specific period of time.

If we are continuing based off the assumption that Sampo is the hacker and the Curios give hints about his own identity, this would mean he isn’t just powerful, he is ultimately powerful. The golden face is the absolute highest the dice can go, meaning the equivalent in-universe is likely Emanator or even Aeonic status. As such, it seems that Sampo may be sacrificing, removing, or hiding this power intentionally to gain something — likely a sort of universe-breaking “cheat” to circumvent whatever he wishes.

For Doll!Sampo, this may mean escaping his own purpose or reason for existence, Emanator!Sampo may wish to be free of Elation entirely, and it is likely his wishes have something either to do with protecting Belobog, protecting himself, or, if he is very pissed off at a certain Aeon, perhaps even the murder of a god.

Divergent Universe: Organic Heart’s Divergent Universe function also adds a bit of information to this theorizing, as it increases the challenge points gained (thereby increasing the rewards and how much you “win”) while causing you to take more damage at the same time. This seems to have similar implications as Gold and Gears, implying a “reward” and a “cost” closely dependent on one another. You may be receiving more “power” and more rewards, but you are also at higher risk of dying due to taking more damage.

For Sampo, this ties in to the aspect of weakness, of trading his power for some kind of “win” if he can just survive long enough to get there. Furthermore, it implies a state of vulnerability, some kind of existence where he no longer has the full protection he used to. Much like the player who takes the Curio, he likely has to be very careful about what he involves himself in, lest he meet a premature end.

Mysterious Magnetism

Story: Interestingly enough, I find Mysterious Magnetism to go quite well with Organic Heart. There is yet again a theme of combination, this time with the Fog of Thought and Rain of Sensation (perhaps alluding to the creation of Sampo as a sentient being — thought and sensation are unique to those who are aware of their own existence) being pulled together into a lens. While Organic Heart represents the more, well, organic side of a being, Mysterious Magnetism dwells in the imperceptible; thoughts, sensation, color, and magnetism are all far more conceptual than apples and hearts. 

The “magnetic field” mentioned is also interesting, since it is said to “disturb the senses,” which Sampo very much does on a regular basis (appearing and disappearing out of thin air, not leaving footprints, misdirection, etc.) — in fact, Mysterious Magnetism seems to imply that this is a byproduct of his existence. Despite being created by the Riddlers (a faction of the Enigmata known for obscuring language), the resulting experiment simply is. This may be similar to Sampo’s own existence, where his, well, mysterious magnetism, is simply part of who he is or how he was created rather than a conscious effort on his part to achieve it. 

I also find it interesting how the Riddlers had to eventually stop because they became more and more uncertain of its “necessity” — this could, in my opinion, imply a “leaving behind” or abandonment of Sampo as a character as well.

Keyword Note: “Revelrous” implies there may be a bit of Elation involved. A little easter egg in the story, if you will.

Gold and Gears: In Gold and Gears, Mysterious Magnetism creates Elite Domains out of Combat Domains, then grants Cosmic Fragments after two of those domains. Much like Organic Heart, there is a rigor present here, an upping of the stakes for greater rewards. What would be effortless is made difficult, but if the player survives they are rewarded for their troubles. Once again, this may point towards Sampo’s exchanging of a price for a reward, a stripping away of his power that makes everything — especially combat — more difficult, but that will eventually reward him what he wants.

Divergent Universe: The occurrence here follows a slightly different “give and take” track, less focused on rewarding something after hardship, but more on gaining and losing in the same breath. Interestingly enough, the gain here is at the beginning rather than the end, awarding the player 50 Cosmic Fragments every time they enter a domain but making them lose just as much once they win a battle. 

This could be seen as the nature of currency exchange — a central part of Sampo’s character — as something that gives and takes in equal measure, or it could also be seen as a means for him to avoid conflict. Perhaps whatever plan or deal he has strongly discourages fighting, likely because of the higher stakes involved or lessened powers he has. As such, it could be seen as “losing” in general for him to engage in conflict, since it might strip away even more of his already-fraying status.

Other Notes: It’s interesting that the hacker is attempting to replicate Herta’s Curios. Given that it gives us two very specific Curios, I wonder if those are the ones it’s trying to replicate? If so, why? I’m inclined to believe Sampo may be attempting to circumvent his own fate or state of being as a doll/toy, but it could be to save Belobog or someone else for plot reasons as well (or maybe even kill Aha Themself; Aeon murder isn’t off the table, after all).

I also am intrigued by “hacker” being in quotations. Paired with the “don’t ask me who I am,” I’m reminded of the toy’s secret that only Aha knows — perhaps Sampo simply doesn’t wish to reveal himself to us here, or perhaps there’s a deeper reason his identity is obscured. Basically, it comes down to the age-old question: Won’t, or can’t?

Overall, Organic Heart and Mysterious Magnetism sum Sampo up pretty well to me: an organic being straddling the grey area between different existences, as well as an indistinct combination of concepts capable of self-awareness and magnetic thought. In my opinion, these Curios point towards heavy themes of creation, combination, and being discarded, as well as the exchanging of one’s own power for a greater benefit (or “cheat”) later on. 

My pet theory combines both the Aha Stuffed Toy occurrence and Curio Hacker, seeing Sampo as a toy created by Aha in Their own image, a combination of mortal and immortal existence meant to be beaten and bleed wealth, who seeks to free himself from the purpose of his own existence through sacrificing the very power that was granted to him with it — likely Emanator or some equivalent status — while hopefully protecting those he cares about and even getting back at his creator at the same time (otherwise known as Doll Theory).

✩ ‧₊˚ ⌞ THE *PERFECT* GRAND CHALLENGE ⌝

When paired with both Aha Stuffed Toy and Curio Hacker, The *Perfect* Grand Challenge begins to paint a bigger picture. Here, a toy is once again mentioned (Aha and the Elation path seem to have a strange fixation on dolls and toys), this time as a “clay doll” trapped inside an arcade machine alongside other gacha prizes. You play through the arcade machine much like the occurrence, deciding which toy to pull and how many attempts to make. Here are a few of my notes:

Prizes: The prizes within the arcade machine include “trendy gachapon figures, ether orbs, and clay dolls,” although there are only two specific ones available: “popular gacha toy” and “clay doll.” I find it notable how the clay doll is emphasized here; despite being part of a three-item list at the beginning, the options are basically simplified down to “clay doll” and “everything else.” Additionally, the clay doll is the only item to have an extended description in the occurrence, which I will explain later.

Rewards: Each reward operates in probability, with the clay doll having a 50/50 for a regular vs. negative Curio, and the gacha toy has a 40/60 for a regular Curio vs. nothing. If we are looking at this occurrence within the context of the other two, the “clay doll” seems somewhat similar to both the Aha Stuffed Toy and Sampo himself, operating on chance to give the player either something helpful or harmful, to give or to take. Additionally, it fits with the Sampo of Finnish mythology, not having an option to not give — it must give, that is its function. And so it does.

Perfectionism: It’s a bit odd how perfectionism is a major theme of The *Perfect* Grand Challenge (hell, it’s even in the name)! I never thought of Elation as being closely intertwined with being “perfect”; in fact I always considered it to be the more chaotic of the Paths. However, there’s no escaping the fact that this occurrence not only shares the same cover art as other Elation occurrences like the Aha Stuffed Toy, but it also shares similarities like the clay doll, fun game, and “playful” programmer. 

So, my main question now is why? If we assume these occurrences are a manifestation of the Paths, then perhaps a subsection of Elation includes perfection. Another option is that the presence of an Erudition option points to a co-mingling of different Paths into something specific like perfection. Or, it is entirely possible that perfection is a natural emergent of Elation that we simply haven’t seen yet. Although Sampo and/or Aha don’t strike me as “perfectionist” types, there’s enough we don’t know about them that makes me think “huh, maybe they really do have some of that going on.” 

If we do, for a moment, entertain the idea that Aha may be a perfectionist in some regard, we can easily make connections between the other occurrences — for example, Sampo as a creation may have been abandoned much like Mysterious Magnetism in Aha’s pursuit of the “perfect toy”; Aha may have created toys in Their own image in the first place just to attempt a more “perfect” existence for Themself; Sampo may even be seen by Aha as in some way defective, leading to feelings of betrayal and hatred (or the opposite, Sampo being perfect enough to garner a god’s favor, which may not be a good thing when it comes to Elation).

There’s even the chance Sampo was created by another Path like Erudition (although that would cause a conflict with being “created in Aha’s likeness”) that may be more susceptible to latching onto perfection. Since the Riddlers (Enigmata) are also mentioned in Mysterious Magnetism, I wouldn’t put it beyond them either. Who knows, maybe he was a pet project collab between Aha and another Aeon!

Note: Who is the “perfect man”? Great question! It could fit in as Sampo with the idea of him sacrificing something for a reward, potentially “embarking on a challenge to become the perfect man” or it could fit in as Aha creating toys, being the “perfect man” that needs a “clay doll” like Sampo. “A perfectionist wants them all” could even allude to greed on either end, reaching beyond what is necessary in the pursuit of perfection. Or, it could be something else entirely. Who knows!

Text: As mentioned earlier, the clay doll has quite a lengthy (and worrisome, if we are comparing it to Sampo) bit of writing here. Most of the other writing sets up the scene (establishing the arcade game, the playful programmer, the game having a catch, etc.) but the clay doll is by far the most detailed and intensive play-by-play we get.

The other gacha figures either rise with the claw or drop, but the clay doll is different. If you win it, you get a short line of text with everything else, but if you lose… well…

Yeah, that’s definitely a lot! The main comparison I see is to the Aha Stuffed Toy occurrence, with the toy’s head blowing up (“the head of the doll has blown up” is actually the specific Stuffed Toy line!) and the clay doll’s head exploding with “fireworks bursting out from the head”.

Both of these events happen during extreme emotion, with the toy being created with the intent of venting emotion on and the clay doll exploding when you “lose your patience” and “give the machine a vicious kick”. With such an emphasis on the clay doll and its links to not only the stuffed toy, but to the programmer from Curio Hacker, I am officially inducting The *Perfect* Grand Challenge into the Sampo-Aligned Occurence Hall of Fame! 

I feel like this can slot in with my Doll Theory as well, taking my already mentioned timeline and adding the idea that Sampo is one of many attempts at a “perfect” recreation of Aha, one that is likely trying very desperately to escape from the dehumanization and danger of his kin. After all, two Elation-coded dolls exploding by the head in separate occurrences is not a fun precedent to follow!

Note: I mainly compared Sampo to the clay doll here given its similarity to the Aha Stuffed Toy, but it is entirely possible he is the programmer as well — hell, with the implications of Organic Heart he may as well be both!

Additional Note: There seems to be some connection between the Erudition and the Elation here, with the Aha Stuffed Toy occurrence’s only Path options being Elation and Erudition, as well as The *Perfect* Grand Challenge including an Erudition option despite having such heavy Elation influences. Creation, experimentation, and combination are in and of themselves a very Erudition-coded activity, though those very same concepts can also be creative and fun in the vein of the Elation.

Additionally, the story of Mysterious Magnetism (linked to Sampo who is very much linked with Elation) mentions the Riddlers conducting their experiment to “combat the determinacy of Erudition”. Just food for thought!

Bonus: This mention of the Aha Stuffed Toy in the Flea Market occurrence! Don’t mind me, I’ll just be crying at the “asking to be hit” part. (Also, four destructible Curios makes me think in plurality, meaning there are perhaps quite a few “stuffed toys” out there. It also implies awareness and the ability to communicate, making the toy much more likely to be a sentient / intelligent lifeform.)

Also this screenshot I caught of both occurrences & the man himself!

Okay, that’s all I have!

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thank you for reading to the end!

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© analysis by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[nights-at-crystarium]

on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

[mysteriouslytransparentwitch]

Hello Mysterious, I hope all is well and continues to improve with you.

You don’t need to post this ask,but I just wanted to express my thoughts on the expansion of the far right across the world, in relation to your last post about France and Macron.

1. Putin

2. Trump and GOP

3. Elon Musk

4. Nigel Farage

5. Marie Le Pen

6. Venezuela president Maduro Moros, plus Argentina’s president Milea.

7. Canadian conservatives now far right party.

8. Corporate right wing media in Europe, North America across the globe.

9. Money, laundered, bit coin or otherwise.

10. War in Ukraine.

All ten are connected, with the source being Putin. He’s been involved since 2015 when he stole Russia’s state money and the oligarchs money. He’s rumoured to be the richest man in the world at one point, and what better use of that resource than to fund a world in your vision of the future??? What we’re witnessing today are the dying throes of this evil heinous collaboration. Putin was very much behind the Conservative Brexit movement in Britain and behind Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage. Not to mention putting trump in the White House. Those were his successes. Putin desires the dissolution of the EU and NATO, a united Europe. Trump was espousing those wishes when he was ‘President’. Elon and Trump are his voice in the west. Maduro was pushing to start a war in South America for oil rich land in Guyana, and was blocked by Blair and Clinton recently. The Guyana president visited Britain when all diplomacy failed on his part. I’m originally from Guyana so I was paying attention to those moves.

Putin has been funding far right causes all across the world for at least a decade now. And he should be reaping the rewards of his hard work. But sadly, no.

The media companies don’t mind the marriage and getting in bed with Putin to consummate the unholy alliance. Money is money is money. Let it rain. They don’t even draw the line at promoting his blatant propaganda as they are doing right now in bashing Biden in the US. The US citizens have to wake up and make the right decision on November 5th.

Yes I believe you when you say Macron will have a fight on his hands in November. It will be directly as a result of the upcoming US elections and its results. All are connected. Sow doubt and fear in France, bring violence to the fore. See??? this could happen to you in the US, a civil war…. But what would you have Macron do?? Submit to the far right and plunge Europe into a proper World War 3? IMO Le Pen will always do as Putin asks, she is his wh*** he just has to say the word and she will obey. And proximity to Russia is also a factor in this. Again as in the US the media is heavily involved too. Right now they are flirting with WW3 in Ukraine. My guess is that war won’t end until after November 2024. A LOT of decisions will be made after November 5th. Just my opinion and observations. Thanks for listening.

I sincerely think that Macron and Lepen are ready to sell the French system for money. I'm serious this time. The complicity of journalists is beginning to be revealed. I can only see an explosion of the 5th republic.

I sincerely believe that the financial system wants the skin of the population. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, you know me.

There's too much of a weird connection. We talk again about links and traffic with Kadafi (Libya)

I need to sit down seriously and look at my cards

[stars-and-inkpots]

Psychopomp

You are kind. You are good. You trust him. Astarion hates it.

Pairing: Astarion/reader

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, cuddling, Astarion-centric, mentions of Astarion's past abuse

Notes: Title is from Hozier's song Abstract (Psychopomp), a song I associate with Astarion a lot and have a lot of feelings about.

Ao3 Link: Psychopomp

Two hundred years. 

Two hundred years can change a lot about the way you think about the world. Two hundred years under the control of the most vile man- no, monster was a better word- in Baldur’s Gate. Two hundred years where he had no control, no agency, and no one to save him. 

Even so-called “heroes” that would consider intervening if they knew, Astarion knows that they would only see him as a vampire spawn. He would be killed, along with all the others- no different than Cazador. It didn’t matter if he didn’t want to do any of the terrible things that Cazador made him do, it didn’t matter if he was physically incapable of refusing. To the only people who could help him, he was just another monster. 

The nautiloid, the tadpole, everything that happened after, it was some sort of cruel joke. He could walk in the sun again, his mind was his own, he could finally be free… but he was at constant risk of turning into some disgusting, tentacled horror under the control of yet another monster. How ironic. 

Gods, life wasn’t fair. 

Nothing in life was fair. 

Two hundred years. 

Then there was you. You, who was so ready to help him even after just meeting him- even after he held a knife to your throat. You, who continued to help everyone that you met and expected nothing in return. 

You infuriated him. 

How could someone like you exist? Everything that he had gone through, everything he had endured until now, all of it proved to him that good people don’t exist. Heroes- true heroes who saved people for the sake of saving them- couldn’t exist, because if they did then why was no one ever there to save him ? Why would he meet one now, after he had already gone through so much? 

Watching you save stranger after stranger, turning down their offerings of coin as a reward, it made him sick to his stomach. 

And you’re kind to him. 

Even after finding out he’s a vampire, you still treat him the same way you treat the others. You even let him feed from you when he needs it, a generosity he thought impossible for a vast collection of reasons. You trust him. 

You are kind. You are good. You trust him. 

Astarion hates it. 

Astarion figured that you would eventually outgrow the naive hope you had for the world. He figured that soon enough, after witnessing all the horrors this world had to offer, that you would grow cynical and jaded just like the rest of them. 

But you didn’t. Even now, spending what could be your final night in camp, you had the gall to smile. You continued to shine that insufferable light despite the suffocating darkness of the shadow curse that plagued the land around you. 

And the worst part of it all, was that he realised he wanted to share that optimism. You made him want to believe there could be light in the world. You made him hope . 

Being back in Baldur’s Gate brought on a lot of conflicting feelings for Astarion. On one hand, he was relieved to be back inside the walls of a city, one he would even be bold enough to call home. On another, he was closer to Cazador again… and the city was sitting overtop a volatile Elder Brain. 

Regardless of the unseen threats, you continued to help people while the group travelled through the city. Even before the city, you did what you could for the refugees who couldn’t get inside. Astarion noticed that the sight of you talking with the children and handing a sizable amount of your own supplies over to their parents didn’t seem to inspire the same distaste as it would have a month ago. 

Sitting on a bed in the Elfsong Tavern, a welcome change to the admittedly uncomfortable bedroll he’s grown accustomed to over the course of your travels together, Astarion finally admits to himself that maybe you’ve grown on him in a way he doesn’t fully want to acknowledge because it scares him. You’ve changed him, and not in a way that's entirely unwelcome. He cares about you. He trusts you. Both things he hasn’t felt for someone in a long time. 

That’s why he finds himself standing outside your door. It’s late, and he knows that you’re likely already sleeping, but he has to at least try and talk to you now before he loses his nerve. 

Astarion knocks lightly, almost hoping you won’t hear it. 

Of course, you do. 

“Astarion? Is everything alright?” You ask, voice thick with concern. You look softer in the low light, gentle shadows cast across the room from the lamp burning on the bedside table. Without your armour, you look even more open, at ease, a look Astarion thinks suits you well. 

“Can we talk?” 

“Of course, come in.” You open the door wider for him, stepping aside to let him in before closing it quietly behind you. “What’s troubling you?” 

Astarion sits on the bed, staring at the ground. You continue to hover near the door, unsure of just how much comfort he wants. He’s silent for a while, but you’re more than okay to wait. 

“When I first met you, you irritated me to no end.” 

The admission doesn’t exactly surprise you. There were many times where Astarion had voiced his concerns about your actions, especially the ones that served no benefit to yourself. He didn’t like helping people the way you did, but you were stubborn. Of course that created some friction. You wait for him to continue his thoughts. 

“You’re nice to people, even people who don’t deserve it. You help people for no reason. You do so much and expect nothing for it- you turn down money when it is offered. Everything you do confuses me. I hated you for a time, because you were the first person I’ve ever met who was truly good.” Astarion still hasn’t looked at you. You move closer, sitting beside him on the bed. Even though the confession confuses you, you let him continue uninterrupted. “I thought people like you didn’t exist. I spent two hundred years learning that the world was only full of selfish people who wouldn’t hesitate to do anything they needed to get ahead. That there were victims, and there were monsters, and you could never escape being one or the other. But then I met you.” 

Astarion finally looks at you. He looks physically pained. You reach out and rest a comforting hand on his shoulder, happy when he leans into the touch and sighs. 

“I had a plan, you know. I was going to seduce you, make myself indispensable to you. I thought that the sex would make you want to keep me around. But every time the opportunity arose, I couldn’t do it. I spent two hundred years luring people back for him ; making them trust me, but I couldn’t manipulate you like that. I was worried for the longest time. I kept telling myself I had to make a move soon or else you wouldn’t want to keep me around, but you did. You protected me time and time again because you wanted to. You want to go kill Cazador because you want to help me. You want to keep me safe. I haven’t done anything for you. Do you know how infuriating that is?” 

You don’t quite understand. It almost hurts to think that Astarion thinks you need a reason to care about him. 

“Astarion, I don’t help people because I want the fame or the rewards. I don’t help people just so they might help me. I help them because it feels right. If there’s something I can do, then why would I not do it?” You pause, watching as Astarion’s eyes turn back to the floor. “I’m sorry that no one was there to help you before. You deserved kindness then, just as you deserve it now.” 

Astarion’s shoulder tenses under your hand. 

You know why your selflessness angers him, because you share a similar sentiment. You mourn those you couldn’t save; the people who died alone and scared. In a world like this, it was difficult to find reason in your actions. But even if only you could make the difference, then you would continue to do so. But gods, it was exhausting some days. 

For a moment you worry that you’ve misspoke. Then Astarion speaks up again. 

“Thank you.” He’s quiet when he says it, voice nearly threatening to break. 

You move to hug him, hesitating to give him time to move out of the embrace if he wants to, but he doesn’t. He wraps his arms around you tightly, clutching the fabric of your shirt behind you. He holds you like he’s scared you’ll disappear entirely. You bring a hand to his hair, running your fingers through it, and the tenderness makes Astarion almost sob. 

“I care about you, Astarion. That will never change,” you promise. 

He can’t say everything he wants to yet, but you know him well enough to know he means it all the same. 

The two of you end up laying down together, still holding each other, Astarion’s head tucked safely under your chin. It’s the first time he’s ever laid in bed with no expectations of anything other than this. It’s new, it’s daunting, but it’s with you. 

He’s with you and he feels safe. 

And that’s all that matters for now.

[milkbreadtoast]

Cookie Run Webtoon EN TL

NEED TO SHARE THIS HERE... A few days ago Korean cookie run fandom was buzzing because 3 chs of an official cookie run webtoon had been uploaded... the pages have since been taken down (there's speculation that they might've been released too early by mistake??) BUT someone archived them so they can still be read!! And I did a (rough) english translation of all 3 chapters!!! (it was fun🥺 pls enjoy)

(Link to Ch 1) (Link to Ch 2) (Link to Ch 3)

CH 1:

note: Roguefort cookie's name in Korean(괴도맛 쿠키) is literally Phantom Thief(mysterious thief) flavor Cookie, and this 괴도 is the same thing Kaito Kid from Detective Conan is called (괴도 키드)

--

huhuhu...

(clink/jangle)

🌶:Yep, I really am a genius.

🌶: uhaha! instead of robbing a bank, it's much faster and easier to just rob bank-robbers, ya know~!

🌶:With this, my bounty will go up another level...

(chattering)

🌶: what, what's going on? (suddenly)

Reporter: As for Roguefort cookie's previously announced target, a 60 carat Yellow Diamond:

This jewel has been passed down from the Golden Cheese Kingdom for generations, and is said to be a symbol of good fortune, bringing(lit: wishing for) prosperity and longevity to the nation.

🌶: (Hmm, that's a puny gem.)

The jewel's owner adds that they will compensate the cookie who captures Roguefort Cookie, a payment of 1,000,000 coins as a reward to whoever captures this phantom thief...

(jolt)🌶: (A million coins?!)

🌶: (Then Roguefort cookie's bounty is higher than mine, isn't it!!) (1000000 vs 700000)

🌶: (THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE!!)

🌶: (I'll have the pride of a thief and steal it first!!)

(Title:) Who is the best thief?

Ep 1: Who is the best thief?

-That night

(footsteps)

🌶: WAIT, YOU THERE! (suddenly)

🌶: I heard the yellow diamond was at this mansion. Know where it is?

butler: (EEP) ch, chili pepper cookie?!

butler: This is a very tightly guarded place, How in the world did you get in?

🌶: Psh, this is mere child's play to me. (lit: chewing gum)

butler: I'm calling the guards/security.

🌶: ......

🌶: What are you doing? Roguefort Cookie. (pause)

Roguefort🧀: A sloppy disguise, I suppose.

Roguefort🧀: ...How did you know?

🌶: A thief's intuition?

🧀: Haha... how interesting.

To think you'd see through my disguise. (riiip)

🧀: Then I guess you're also aware that I have the jewel with me.

🌶: WHAT?!

🌶: HAND IT OVER RIGHT NOW!

GHH! (whish) (whish)

🧀: I wonder if you can catch me?

I am the best phantom thief who has never been caught to this day, after all~ ^^

🌶: Don't make me laugh, I'M the best!!

🧀: (heh) If so...

🧀: How about we admit that the cookie who steals this jewel is the best thief? (sparkle)

🌶: Heh, think I won't be able to snatch it from ya?

🌶: You'll end up regretting this.

🧀: We shall see.

WAIT!

!!! (pause)

(🌶) You?! Cheesecake Cookie?!

🌶: This place is your mansion too?;; (Just how many mansions do you have?!)

🧀: How did you know we were here?

Cheesecake🧀🍰: With all this terrible noise you've been making, wouldn't it be weirder to not know~?

Cheesecake🧀🍰: Apparently, it seems like you want to distinguish who is the best thief between you, but...

🧀🍰: Haven't you two already stolen all the decent treasures anyway?

Try stealing something a bit more difficult~

🌶&🧀: more difficult?

(grin) 🧀🍰That's right. If you're a real thief...

🧀🍰: How about trying to steal someone's heart?

🌶&🧀: !!!

(end of ch1)

-----

LINK TO CH 2:

CH2:

cheesecake🧀🍰: How about trying to steal someone's heart?

🌶: someone's... whuh?

RF🧀: Heart. someone's heart.

🌶: What's so great about stealing someone's heart?

🧀🍰: Stealing something tangible is too easy~

Why, don't think you can do it?

(frantically/fiercely) 🌶: WHADDYA MEAN!!

🧀🍰: And you, Roguefort?^^

RF🧀: (Heh) ...Seems like it'll be interesting. Though stealing someone's heart is also too easy for me...

🧀🍰: huhu~ Good, good!

🧀🍰: Then make sure both of you come back here at the same time again tomorrow!

I'll explain the details then~

(slide)

🌶: ...an invitation to a ball?

(creak/screech/squeal)

(footsteps)

🌶: (Where's Cheesecake?)

🧀🍰: Oh my~ Welcome, Chili!

🌶: What about Roguefort?

🧀🍰: Roguefort already arrived first and got started~ (hoho~)

🌶: WHAT?!

🌶: They beat me to it?! I gotta start quickly too, who's my target!?

🧀🍰: Wait, before that- (snap)

🧀🍰: Let's get you changed first!

🌶: GUH? (grab)

🧀🍰: Take her to the dressing room~ (what is that state you're in?)

🌶: WHAT THE, LET ME GO-!!

(thump, crash)

UWAAAGH!!!

(title: Who is the best thief?)

🌶:Ugh...!

🌶: What the hell is this!

🌶: guaah!! This dress is too stuffy/suffocating!! (creak creak)

🧀🍰: Oh my, is that so?

🧀🍰: Hold on-- Now where would my new Chocolaté Collection be... (toss toss)

🌶: ...By the way

What are you two doing here?

🥛: A part time job!

🥛: I have to buy Dark Choco-nim's goods, you see~ (hehe!)

💪: They released new protein, so I need money! (flex)

🌶: Ah...

🧀🍰: Chili! Try this on~

🌶: Phew, I think I can live now~!

🧀🍰: It suits you well~

🧀🍰: Here, take this.

🌶: What's this? ??

🌶: A mask?

🧀🍰: Tonight is a masquerade ball, you see.

🧀🍰: Your target is wearing a cat mask.

Between the two of you, the cookie who wins their favor first will win.

🌶: How would we prove that we won their favor?

🧀🍰: You just have to receive and bring back one of their things as proof/indication of winning. (You musn't steal it!)

🧀🍰: I already told Roguefort the same thing, so you should probably get going right away?

🌶: (WHAT?!) YOU SHOULD'VE SAID THAT EARLIER!

🌶: (A cat mask she said... where in the world are you?)

🍮iii: Can't I hold that for a sec?

🧙: No.

🍮iii: just once~!

🧙: No-!!!

🌶: Excuse me...

🌶: By any chance, have you seen a cookie wearing a cat mask around here?

🍓: ! (gasp)

🍓: Huh? Uh...

I, I... (th, that...)

🍓: I-I saw someone that way... (blush~) (note: speaking formally)

🌶: (whish) Ah, thanks!

🍓: 😳.....

🍮iii: trade with meee~!

🧙: I said no!!

🌶: ! (Over there!!!)

(loud footsteps)

RF🧀: ...So as I was saying...

🌶: Hi! Nice to meet you! (whack!) (shove)

🌶: For you to play dirty and go first...

(bzzzt)

(LET'S SEE WHO EMERGES THE WINNER!!!)

🐱:?

(/ch 2 end)

------

LINK TO CH 3:

CH3:

🌶: ghh...

🌶: (I butted in all confidently but...)

(awkward) 🌶: (what the heck should I say?)

🧀: The moon is flying unusually high tonight... It must be because she is jealous of your beauty.

🐱: Oh my! 🌶(dripping down)

🌶: (Are they crazy?) (I can't say something cringey like that!!)

🍮: 'scuse me!

🌶: Huh?

🍮: She said she's got something to say to you!

🍓: U-um, well...

🍓: I-if it's okay with you... May I have this dance? (lit: will you dance 1 song with me?) (note: speaking very formally)

🌶: No, I...

🐱: My, you musn't refuse an invitation to dance, you know.

Please go on ahead! (lit: go and come back)

(zoned out)

🌶: (Dammit, I can't just leave Roguefort alone like this though-!!)

🌶: At this rate, I'm gonna lose..!

🍓: U-um, excuse me, by any chance...

🍓: Could it be that you didn't want to dance, but reluctantly agreed and forced yourself to for my sake...? (lit: ...pointlessly because of me, reluctantly came out)

🌶: Ah, it's not like that

🌶: To be honest, I don't really know how to dance. Today is my first ball, ya see.

🍓: I-is that so?!

🍓: Wh-what should we do, It's my first too tho...

🍓: I'm so sorry for making things troublesome for you...! (dashing off)

🌶: W-WAIT!

🌶: Are balls such a big deal? We just have to move to the beat, right?

🍓: B-but...

🌶: Look! Those guys are all enjoying themselves dancing, aren't they!

(🍮: You really can't dance!! (stomp stomp) )

🍓: Ah...

🌶: Let's just enjoy ourselves as well!

🍓: ...Okay!

(Wheee~) (/giggle)

🐱: ......

🧀: Pardon me,

🧀: The lobby is rather chaotic, so it seems like dancing might be difficult... shall we move to a quieter place?

🐱: Yes, sounds good. (footsteps)

🍓: Whew~

🍓: I had fun, thank you so much!

🌶: Me too! (hahaha)

🌶: (Gasp) (This isn't the time for that!)

🌶: I totally forgot I was in the middle of a bet. I have to quickly go back to stealing hearts... (whish whish) Where the heck did they go?

🌶: Hey, have you guys seen Roguefort Cookie?

🥂: Roguefort Cookie..?

🥛: Ah, I have!

🥛: I saw them go out to the garden a little while ago.

🌶: The garden?

(dashing footsteps)

🥂: Roguefort Cookie came to tonight's ball? They're not trying to steal something, by any chance...? (That was Chili Pepper Cookie just now, right?)

🥛: Ah, I heard they're doing a bet with Chili Pepper Cookie.

🥛: I encountered them while I was changing clothes... they really did disguise themself perfectly!

🥂: Aha~

🌶: What garden is this wide? (Seriously.)

🌶: Ah, there they are.

!!!!!

(/ch 3 end)

[gaybananabread]

Could we get headcanons for the LOV +Hawks? They're a nightmare found family and must have violent tickle fights...

⋋🕯️LoV Tkl Headcanons🕯️⋌

~Alright, got these in! I love doing these hcs, it's fun just splatting ideas down on here! I've already done KFC and Crispy Boi, so I'll link them below. These maniacs would absolutely get into some wild fights, especially when tensions are high. Warning, this is super long, so be prepared (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠). Thank you for requesting!~

(Hawks and Dabi hcs)

🎮Shigaraki⊰⁠⊹

General:

Neutral on tickling. Doesn't hate it, not super crazy about it.

He's just gotta be in the right mood at the right time.

Will kill anyone who tries to get him to admit it, but he doesn't totally hate it.

I'd say he's a lee. Besides the obvious risk of disintegrating someone, I just feel that he wouldn't want to touch another person like that for that long. Again, certain mood, certain time.

Lee:

On the semi-rare occasion that he does get into a lee mood, he tries his best to ignore it.

He's the leader of the League! “Leaders don't indulge in childish things, it's below me!”

Yeah, that fails after about twenty minutes of denial.

This touch-starved boyo can not fight off a mood like that for long.

He'll try to subtly provoke one of the other members into doing it. Wearing one of his more beat-up shirts, crop top, maybe a tank top. Sitting with his arms behind his head, sassing them, everything he can think of.

The only one who ever really gets him is Mr. Compress. Someone else might pick up on the hints, but are too scared for their lives to do anything about it.

Lighter stuff works best on him, though in certain spots, some good digging will be rewarded.

His worst spots are his palms and thighs.

It feels like his quirk would make those boys really sensitive, though you have to be careful around his fingers. Maybe some special gloves with the palm cut out? Eh, they'll get creative.

Melt spot would be his back. Light tracing, maybe feathers or something along those lines. Either way, he loves it.

Raspy, restrained little giggles at first. Boy refuses to laugh.

You get him good, though, and it'll be ear-splitting cackles and old-door-level squeaks.

📏Twice🎭

General:

Switchy-switch, depending on what side of him is leading.

His calmer, more rational side typically means lee mood.

His angrier, more violent side normally means ler mood.

Twice thinks tickling is a fun way to bond with his fellow members, as well as just relaxing and enjoying it.

Lee:

When he gets lee moods, they're often in-his-face and hard to ignore. Big, obtrusive need to get his shit wrecked.

The observant among the members can point it out. Extra giddiness, little jokes he wouldn't normally tell, and random giggles. Coin toss on who ends up giving a fuck, but still.

Hawks is usually his ler, though Toga is next in line. It's easy to get Hawks annoyed enough to send a feather after him. Toga is sadistic enough to wreck him whenever; it's asking her that's hard.

Worst spots are his ribs and armpits. Pitchy, boisterous cackles when you go for them.

Melt spot is his back. He loves back rubs that slowly become tickly, or just straight-up scribbles.

Ler:

Evil little shit about it. The harsher personality has a field day.

If he's having a decent day and is feeling cruel enough, he’ll make a clone or two to help him.

Big squeezes, drilling into worst-spots, raspberries, you name it. He wants to see his lee cackling before he's done.

The kind of mf to say “Citchie citchie coo~” without a hint of shame.

Most of the time, he'll give revenge tickles. Occasionally, though, there'll be a softer ler that pokes out just for comfort purposes.

Aftercare really depends on who it is. Most of the time, his nicer side comes out.

He'll do anything from smug comments to back rubs and a fluffy blanket.

🔪Toga🩸

General:

First off: girlie loves tickling

Can and will bring it up confidently. She's already kinda crazy—who cares what they think about this?

Gives ler-leaning switch vibes, methinks. Always ready to destroy someone, but wouldn't mind some pokes along the way~

Lee:

While they're less frequent, she definitely gets lee moods.

Knowing he'll almost always provide, she typically goes to Twice for tickly aid. If he's unavailable, though, it's skillfully tricking other members into giving her what she wants.

Very squirmy, can and will break your nose if you're not careful.

Worst spots are her hips. A few squeezes there and she's down for the count.

Melt spot would have to be her palms. She kinda gives off attention whore vibes, so she'd love any light, affectionate traces on them.

Got a bright and bubbly laughter that descends into cackles if you get her good. Blushes very easily, though she'll always have some blood-related excuse.

Ler:

Run for the hills, my friend.

Ruthless little ler, doesn't like to stop until her lee is a teary, tickle-drunk mess.

She loves building up anticipation, big on tickle games and hide-and-seek chases

Light tracing up and down a lee's midriff, stopping just shy of their worst spots before digging in.

Most teasing bitch to ever roam the Earth-

“Oooooh, your cheeks are so red! I love that color on you, cutie~” “Laugh for me! You know you wanna~”

“Oh, I'm sorry, does that word make it worse? A-tickle tickle tickle!”

Most frequent lee is Twice, though she's gotten everyone at least once before.

Not much aftercare unless you ask. Maybe a glass of water or some rubs. If requested, though, she'll cling to you for hours.

🎩Mr. Compress🔮

General:

So we can all agree he's the group dad-friend, right?

Tell me you don't see it. That's right, you can't-(/hj)

Sees tickling as a fun way to bond and de-stress. Often used by him as a cheer-up method.

I'd say switch on this one. He doesn't really seem to lean either way—only that his friends are enjoying themselves!

Lee:

Doesn't really get lee moods, though he's always open to a playful session with one of the League members.

Kinda like a human stress-toy volunteer

He doesn't mind it at all—it’s fun! What's the harm if it's doing somebody some good?

Worst spots are his belly and upper back. Get him there and he's a goner.

For melt spot, I'd say his tops of his thighs/calves. Man seems like he'd enjoy some leg tickles.

Deep, rich laughter. Kinda like Santa, but less ho-ho-hoey, ya know?

Ler:

Paternal tickle monster, no discussion.

He's got the “mental anguish” radar that good dads just seem to magically have.

He'll ask if they're okay and talk it out before starting his “special treatment” for their problem.

As said before, tickle monster gimmick is his thing.

“Is somebody stressed out? You know, tired minds are a special monster's favorite prey…”

“You'd better be careful with that frown around here. You don't wanna wake up…the Tickle Monster!”

“I can't hear you, dear! The Monster's taken over, and he's hungry for laughter!”

Seems like they'd kill him for it, but when they're upset, his silly antics are just what they need.

Tickles Twice and Toga the most, mainly to help with episodes or get Toga to wind down.

Shigaraki occasionally gets it, either for lee-mood help or pressure alleviation.

🗡️Spinner🦎

General:

He seems like a ler, ya know?

Like, he wouldn't hate being tickled, but he much prefers doing it to others.

Is a little too prideful to say it, but finds tickling people to be a fun way to wind down. Also, laughter is just adorable.

Ler:

He'd be kinda in the middle on the roughness-scale. He's not gonna go feather-light, but his goal isn't to kill you. Just enough to get some good belly laughter.

But like bro…have you seen those claws?

Ajhdbhwhs-

Ista-death, no matter how he uses them. Gentle traces? Butterflies swarming. And if he decides to be cruel? Kiss your diaphragm goodbye-

Also, the snooty-snout? Besides being cute, I'm betting tickle nibbles would be double-evil.

Teasing bastard, but affectionately. He can't help but be a jerk, but it's all in good fun.

“Man, you're so ticklish! I've got no idea how you've survived this long.”

“I didn't even know it was possible to blush that hard! You're teaching me new things every day, giggles.”

“Wouldn't it suck if I went for your worst spot? What's that? Hmm, guess I'll do it now if you're gonna be like that…”

Favorite lee would probably be Shigaraki

Picture it: fanboy getting to tickle his obsession-boy and hearing his laugh. And if Shiggy’s in a lee mood? It's a trillion times better for him.

After crusty-man, he'd go for Mr. Compress. Tickling the dad-man could make any one of the members smile, and Spinner is no exception.

Teasy aftercare. Besides the snide comments and little remarks, he's nice with it. Glass of water, potential couch-cuddles afterwards with a video game or movie.

[weirdmarioenemies]

I am still ranking the Super Mario Galaxies and none of you can stop me

Hello! Thanks for your patience. It's time to get back to ranking all of the Super Mario Galaxies. There is nothing to be afraid of. If you are afraid, we will look together.

I'm still ranking the A-tier galaxies this week, since there are a lot of them and I couldn't fit them all in the previous post. If you want to read the series from the start, look here, and also here's a link to the post with all the B-tiers, for completion's sake.

We have fifteen more galaxies to rank today, so prepare for liftoff! All rankings are under the cut!

35. Slipsand Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

We're starting off today with the other desert galaxy! The better desert galaxy. Yeah, you heard me! Dusty Dune Galaxy fans are in shambles, except I'm not sure if that's a Hot Take at all because I don't know what the general fan consensus on all the Super Mario Galaxies is anyhow.

If you may recall from my previous rankings, my general take on Dusty Dune Galaxy boiled down to "I like it, it has pretty consistently solid missions, but the theming is a bit generic for my liking." But as I stated, it's not that "desert" is a bad theme, just that I felt that Dusty Dune didn't do anything particularly interesting with that theme. While Slipsand Galaxy does still have a little bit of that desert mismatch I chided in my Dusty Dune review, I think the much stronger emphasis on a "desert ruins" theme ends up making it feel a lot stronger.

Heck, this might be one of the few times where a galaxy from the sequel wins points for atmosphere over the first game! I really, really love the skybox in this one, with threateningly huge towers looming over the horizon everywhere you look, with bits of space peeking out from in-between. Again, theming isn't everything, but it can contribute a lot more to a galaxy's experience than you might expect.

But to be fair, the missions in this galaxy are pretty great too! Stuff like the room where the gravity changes so you're always walking on the walls, the return of the Sand Bird (albeit a more compact version), the somewhat tricky sand slide with all the Rhomps, and the Squizzard boss fight all come together to make a galaxy that is as fun as it is stylish. A great galaxy all around!

34. Hightail Falls Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

This galaxy serves as the introduction of the Dash Pepper, and I think it's a pretty great time! The dash pepper gives you extreme speed in exchange for being really difficult to control, and I think this galaxy does a really good job showing that off. I think that once again, I love the optional challenges they put here, with more rewarding routes generally having more obstacles. Sure, you can just take the straight path, but then how are you supposed to gather all the coins you need for the Hungry Luma star?

The galaxy's obstacles also escalate really well, with the walls Yoshi has to climb gradually gaining more turns with more walls to bump into and knock you off clean. Generally there's enough ground to fall back on that it's not too unforgiving, but since you have to clear them to grab the star, the galaxy's making sure you know how to control this vehicle (dinosaur) that is speeding out of control!

As a side-note, I really love the Penguru easter egg on this galaxy. There's not really any rewards (besides a chat with our good friend Penguru) but it's a fun little bonus for anyone who knows where to look!

33. Bowser Jr.'s Fearsome Fleet

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

You know, the E3 2009 trailer of this game showed a clip of the airships appearing out of the portals from a cool angle, and I so badly wanted to use that as the picture for this galaxy, but I wasn't able to find a high-quality picture of that, which is a shame.

Doesn't change the fact the galaxy is still pretty cool! This one's mostly an autoscroller, but I've never really minded autoscrollers personally, and this one is fun in how it makes you multitask, often having to mix platforming with dodging projectiles, all while needing to hold a Bullet Bill in Yoshi's mouth to break the glass cages in your way. And they break up the autoscrolling just often enough that it rarely feels like it drags to me, which I think helps this mission a lot.

And that boss fight! Even though I spent most of Megahammer's post talking about how it looks like it has boobs -- because it does and I stand by that, the boss fight is still really fun, making good usage of the Bullet Bill mechanics and multitasking utilized throughout the rest of the level.

It's one of the trickier bosses in the series (even if still not that hard, I don't know if any of the Galaxy bosses are), mostly due to how getting one hit from Megahammer throws you off your Yoshi, causing him to panic a bit. In hindsight, I don't know if the Daredevil run is really necessary here, a Time Attack mission might have been more unique. Or they could've given Megahammer a bra. I still stand by that part of my post, also. Hire me, Nintendo! Put my bad ideas in your games!

Either way, this is a pretty fun galaxy with a pretty great boss at the end! Thumbs up from me!

32. Upside Dizzy Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

I mentioned in the last post how much I love these gravity walls, right? Well I love these gravity walls a lot. They're a fun mechanic that ties in nicely with this series' gravity mechanics, and make for fun 2D platforming segments! And while the first game had a few segments built around them, the sequel took the opportunity to build full galaxies around them, which I am more than happy about!

I consider the two galaxies that utilize them to this extent about equal in quality (take a wild guess now what #31 is gonna be) but for the sake of this list, I have to like one slightly less than the other, and unfortunately, after thinking it through, Upside Dizzy ended up losing out. Which is weird, given I usually prefer the later "harder" versions of missions... oh well!

But I mean, it's a tight race, because Upside Dizzy has a lot going for it. Having moving strips with different gravity from everything around them makes for some fun platforming challenges, and I really, really love the segment at the end where the gravity of the backdrop changes in time with the music, and you have to plan around it accordingly. I wonder if this galaxy would outdo Rightside Down if that bit was a bit longer, or the whole galaxy's gimmick? It probably would, but since it's not, at least we get to hear these galaxies' great music for a little longer.

And since this is the first galaxy we're talking about that largely highlights this gimmick, know that I'd love to see them bring it back in future titles! Unlike the Flip-Swap tiles and Beat Blocks, they were largely absent from the 3D place games (which makes sense, given well,) but they made a welcome comeback in a few places in Mario Odyssey, and all I'm saying is I wouldn't mind if they got used a bit in Super Mario Bros. Wonder as well...

31. Rightside Down Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

whoa. didn't see that one coming.

Jokes aside though, I like Rightside Down Galaxy about as much as Upside Dizzy Galaxy for pretty much the same reasons: I just love this gimmick a lot and I'm always happy to see a mission built around it!

And Rightside Down Galaxy uses this mechanic for a lot of fun platforming, though that's sort of to be expected for any galaxy that uses this mechanic. I especially love the bit pictured above, where you have to run through a long hallway of Thwomps with a gravity flip in the middle, though the bits where you have to jump between moving platforms in different gravity is pretty neat, and I really love the bits where you get to flip the gravity yourself, experiencing the level from a couple different perspectives. Maybe not as cool as the timed-to-the-beat iteration in Upside Dizzy, but still pretty cool.

Ultimately what gives Rightside Down the edge to me is I think it feels like it has a little more variety. Stuff like the Thwomps and Chomps, the Fire Flower segments, and the brief top-down segment all make for fun changes of pace throughout the level, making it feel like they're showing off a bit more of what can be done with this mechanic. Still, I consider these two really close, and I went back and forth on which is higher when making this list.

If there's one thing I think we can all agree on though, it's that the bonus missions where you have to destroy crates with a Fire Flower are kinda lame. Not as frustrating as the versions with the bombs from the first game, but also not as interesting. Given how little of these galaxies those missions take up though, I'm willing to let them slide when compared to the really fun main missions.

30. Buoy Base Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: A

As I've mentioned in many of the previous posts, most of the small, one-off galaxies from the first game are pretty forgettable and not especially fun, but there's a handful of exceptions, and Buoy Base is absolutely one of them, and I think the developers knew that too, because they put one of the game's three Green Stars in this one, and also gave it a top-notch soundtrack. And honestly, I think that was the right call. I don't know if Buoy Base is elaborate enough to sustain more than a couple missions, but it's definitely cool enough to deserve a little more love than most of the weird one-offs in this game.

While my gripes with these games' water physics aren't completely absent here, I do think luring the Torpedo Teds to destroying the weights can occasionally feel a little tedious, I think the platforming that follows more than makes up for it. I love how it feels to gradually climb up this tower while avoiding its numerous obstacles, particularly the part where you have to line up a Spring Topman right to get the height you need, that part is really nifty.

I also really love the part where you have to collect the Pull Star Chips around a bunch of moving platforms, given how they intersect each others' paths and often need good reflexes to navigate. Again, you kinda know Nintendo had a hit with this one with how much they'd revisit pieces of it elsewhere, with a similar segment to the top of the tower showing up in Melty Molten Galaxy, and a familiar-looking tower making an appearance in the sequel's Space Storm Galaxy.

Buoy Base Galaxy might not be one of the most elaborate galaxies in these games, but for the brief time you're there, it's sure to provide a very memorable experience.

29. Bowser Jr.'s Boom Bunker

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

The last Bowser Jr. galaxy in the series is also going to be the last Bowser Jr. galaxy we review, on account of I Like It Quite A Lot! Talk about going out with a bang! Or... a boom.

The Boom Bunker brings back the gimmick from the Airship Armada in the first game, where you launch yourself out of cannons from planet to planet, but here I think it's executed a bit better. Having the targets to hit, where getting a bullseye gives a 1-Up, adds a bit of a fun optional challenge that always feels rewarding when you pull it off, even though 1-Ups are admittedly never in short demand in this game. I also love that they progressively make this more challenging, later adding mines to avoid, adding an element of timing alongside your aim. It's really neat!

I also really love that this galaxy starts off on a planet with Megahammer's remains, making you bring a Bullet Bill to unlock the first cannon. I appreciate the throwback to Megahammer's top surgery, even if it makes sense that Megahammer's remains would be in a completely different galaxy... Then again, Bowser Jr. made both of them, so it's probably just recycling. Bowser Jr. may be the son of an evil warlord, but even he cares for the environment, kids.

Enough talking about the previous boss though, let's talk about this boss, because it's also great! If you can make inferences from the previous posts, "Cloud Flower" and "Climb to the top of big tower" are both formulas I like a lot, and this boss has both of those things! Combine that with a solid sense of escalation where the tower gains more height, more guns, and more mobility, and it ends up making for a fun, hectic, and memorable final Bowser Jr. encounter!

28. Melty Monster Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

Melty Monster Galaxy is another of those galaxies that I feel kinda gets overshadowed by its Cooler Older Sibling, in this case being Melty Molten Galaxy. And like, that's completely fair, hardly any galaxies out there are capable of beating Melty Molten. Melty Monster never stood a chance in this fight. May as well throw in the towel.

Which to some extent, Melty Monster does, given that after its first mission it completely shifts focus and makes all the remaining missions about bowling as Rock Mario. But that's not necessarily a bad shift in focus, because bowling as Rock Mario is really, really fun, and this galaxy makes really good use of it. If you're gonna have a sudden jarring shift in focus, that's not a bad thing to make the jarring shift to.

And it's not like the first mission is bad at all, either! The segment where you have to use Pull Stars to avoid Magmaarghs (pictured above) is really dang fun, and I love that you gotta play around with Pull Star momentum a bit to reach the first Launch Star, it's the right move for a lategame galaxy like this one. Most of the remainder of the first mission involves timed platforming over lava waves, which is a pretty fun gimmick, and the final planet, surrounded by asteroids that occasionally get engulfed by an ocean of Magmaws, is really nifty too.

Basically: Melty Monster is kinda two galaxies stapled together, but it's two really good galaxies stapled together, so I don't find myself minding the sudden shift in focus all that much. It was never gonna beat Melty Molten, so it may as well see how well it can do at something else, and both the Chimp Bowling Challenge and the very long alley in the second mission make for a pretty memorable time, as well as where I always go to grind out Star Bits in Super Mario Galaxy 2.

27. Bowser's Dark Matter Plant

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: A

Congratulations to Bowser's Dark Matter Plant for being the best boss level that isn't a final boss level! That has to be some sort of worthwhile distinction, right?

The Dark Matter Plant is a really cool galaxy, introducing the Dark Matter which will instantly kill Mario when he touches it, so your goal is to Not Do That! Of course, as the level goes on, they only make that more difficult, such as when they start introducing stationary holes in reality, that the platforms underneath move around. It kind of reminds me of how the textures on clothes work in Chowder, for some reason.

Of course, the highlight of the level to me is, you guessed it, the gravity wall segment, which this time features green walls that push you right and gray walls that push you left, while you have to regularly adjust your positioning on a plus-shaped block, since each change in gravity will push you into the dark matter if you choose to stay still! It's a really creative application of the gravity walls, and a fun way to handle an autoscroller.

Combine that with the Dramatic Staircase returning from the Star Reactor and a solid Bowser fight to top it all off, and you end up creating a Bowser mission I won't forget any time soon!

26. Puzzle Plank Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

Puzzle Plank Galaxy! :D I'm not sure how many galaxies bring me this level of raw joy when I reach them in a playthrough. Like, I wouldn't really consider it one of the best galaxies, it's in 26th place for a reason, but dang it, this galaxy just makes me happy. The combination of the creative theming and the bopping music just gets me really excited whenever I reach it.

And it's a pretty fun galaxy, too! I love how it utilizes the Ground Pround to move wooden blocks into the right spot, and especially memorable is the part of the level where you have to dodge saws that are slowly cutting apart the ground you're walking on. It's a really fun and inspired platforming challenge, and fits the theming of this galaxy so, so well. I especially love that it ties into how you grab the Comet Medal for this galaxy!

It's why I hate to admit it then that I think Puzzle Plank Galaxy is a bit underwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I still love this thing to death, but culminating the first mission in a fight against the Mandibug Stack is... sure? Whatever? I dunno, Mandibug Stack is one of the least interesting fights in the game, and part of me feels I may have been less disappointed if putting the puzzle block together just gave you the star outright. And the secret mission being a Bugaboom rematch is like... I mean I love Bugaboom, it's a great fight, I'm glad it's here, but also this is a galaxy concept so fun and creative, that I wish the secret mission was dedicated to more original content, y'know?

Still, when my complaints about a galaxy boil down to "I desperately wish we got more of it," then I think you can probably figure that I really like what we did get here. It's just that I can't help but feel that in a timeline where some of the recycled content was replaced with more original content, it'd be hanging out with the S-tiers in next week's post.

Don't let my nitpicking undermine how much I like Puzzle Plank. I only moved it up the rankings while writing these reviews. That enthusiasm I feel when playing it goes a long way!

25. Boulder Bowl Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

More bowling! Yeah, I like Rock Mario. Not as much as Cloud Mario, but I like Rock Mario. Bowling is fun. There's something so enjoyable about curling up into a ball, and knocking anything that gets in your way into the stratosphere! (Figuratively. Very few of these planets have stratospheres, or even atmospheres at all...)

And I think the developers knew this, because for one part of this galaxy, they just fill a planet with as many Octoombas as they can and let you bowl them over. And like, when you only get down to a few left, it becomes more practical to just stomp on them, but where's the fun in that? You don't get to use Rock Mario much. Are you gonna deny the opportunity to try and roll into that Octoguy, miss, and throw yourself off the edge? Yeah, that's what I thought.

And I think that's the key to what makes Boulder Bowl Galaxy work so well, it feels like the developers really understand that when you're playing as Rock Mario, you want to have some reckless fun. You want to go on a rampage and take out everything in your path, even though you might not know where you're going. Not only does Boulder Bowl Galaxy show us how to use the Rock Mushroom and what it can do, but it also shows us why we should love the Rock Mushroom, which I think is what makes it really effective.

Oh yeah, it also has a boss fight. It's alright, but I think it'd be better to lean into that "roll over everything that dares stand in your way" mentality for this one. Still, it's not like it's making the galaxy any worse.

24. Battlerock Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: A

From one rock to another, up next we have the Battlerock Galaxy! Today's post is a big hit for all the Rock Fans out there. Unfortunately, no Rock Mushroom here because it didn't exist yet, but we can't have everything...

Still, Battlerock is a pretty great time. You could say... it's ROCK SOLID! I love most of the missions in this galaxy. The cannon autoscroller uses the gravity mechanics in really fun ways, having you switch to different sides of the UFO you're standing on to avoid the electric fences in your way. The second mission is also really fun -- all the Bob-ombs and cannons make it an absolute BLAST!

But the highlight has to be the third mission, being your first encounter with the Topman Tribe. The Topmen are really well-designed and unique enemies, and this level does a good job introducing them, capping off with a pretty fun boss fight at the end. And this mission has gravity walls! I honestly forgot that. Can't go wrong with gravity walls.

Of course, the reason I have to specify "most" instead of "all," is because I don't like that mission where you have to help the Gearmo blow up his garbage. Kinda frustrating, not especially fun. It's not enough to bump this galaxy down too much, but I may as well mention it.

Lots of the ideas introduced here get elaborated and improved upon in Dreadnought Galaxy, but hey, we'll get there when we get there. For now, let's just say Battlerock Galaxy makes some great first impressions.

23. Clockwork Ruins Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

And for our second Ruins-themed galaxy of this entry, we have Clockwork Ruins Galaxy, which... hey, wait a minute! Those are the same towers in the background we saw in Slipsand Galaxy! I knew these two galaxies shared the same music, but that's something I'd actually never noticed before. Is this Lore? Who constructed these impossibly huge, presumably ancient towers, and why come they show up in multiple galaxies? I mean, the actual explanation is they probably just wanted to save time by reusing assets for another galaxy with a similar theme, but let me have some fun about the Implications of these reused assets, okay?

Sorry for getting sidetracked there. Clockwork Ruins is a very cool and distinctive galaxy, partially due to its theming (taking the "desert" out of the "desert ruins" somehow makes it feel way more distinct than it should), but also due to its layouts and platforming challenges. They get a surprising amount of depth out of all the Rotating Platforms here, making for both interesting terrain to navigate, and later on, interesting obstacles! Especially the part at the end, where you have to ride on top of the rolling stones to grab the star with the right timing is particularly cool.

Actually, this galaxy also has one of the best purple coin missions. The rotating platforms at the start of the mission make for interesting obstacles to navigate, given the mission has a time limit, but obviously not every part of the rotating walls can be accessed at all times, forcing the player to carefully plan their routes. I like it!

Not sure what else to say about this one besides "pretty fun and pretty distinctive". I like that planet where you ground pound the button, and what was previously the wall becomes the floor, but now it has more holes in it. That's pretty nifty.

22. Space Storm Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy 2 Tier: A

I guess after a certain point, I worry about repeating myself in these posts. Like, how many times can I say "yeah, this is a galaxy with a cool aesthetic, great music, and really fun missions" over and over again before it gets tiring? I mean, that's basically what makes an A-tier galaxy to me. "Really dang good, doesn't quite go above and beyond, but one I'm always excited to play on."

But at risk of repeating myself: Space Storm Galaxy is a galaxy with a cool aesthetic, great music, and really fun missions. I think the gimmick of having to lore Bob-ombs through a glass wall to make an exit is pretty neat, and maybe a little underutilized? I think there's a lot of mileage you could get out of that. But it's not like I particularly mind, because the rest of the galaxy is still fun. I honestly really love that thin cylindrical rocket ship with the electrical fences at the start. Once again, good platforming challenge.

And while I know I've pooh-poohed galaxies with reused content a bit, I don't even mind the Buoy Base remake in this galaxy, partially because Buoy Base Galaxy is already great, partially because they changed the layout a bit so it's not a one-to-one remake, partially because the time slowing gimmick is done well here. I only have love for one galaxy that brings back an old planet and adds a time slowing gimmick to it in my heart!

Also, I don't know if this is just me, but is Space Storm meant to be the "hard version" of Sky Station Galaxy? World 5 of Super Mario Galaxy 2 has a lot of "sequel" galaxies, like Upside Dizzy, Fleet Glide, and Boo Moon (which we still have yet to see). I dunno, there's some similar-looking spaceships here, and the background goes from a sky on a cloudy day to a sky on a stormy day, feeling like a callback with a bit of a gloomier atmosphere. Either way, I dig it.

21. Good Egg Galaxy

Game: Super Mario Galaxy Tier: A

And wrapping up today's post we have... well, it's not the first galaxy because technically you go to Gateway Galaxy first, but it kinda feels like the first galaxy, because Gateway Galaxy is kinda more like a tutorial to me, and this is like, the first true mission of the game, though I think that's not really fair because the Gateway Galaxy is a fully fleshed-out mission with a star and everything? Ah, whatever. I'll just say it's the first galaxy you can access from the Observatory and call it a day.

And as the ostensibly first galaxy in the game, I really like this one! Compared to Gateway, it gives the player a lot more freedom to figure things out on their own, and play around with the game's mechanics. The first planet is pretty brilliant, it's small enough that players can quickly get on with the mission if they like, but large enough that there's a bit of room to explore, with the orange pipe to the music note room, and a tower with two paths up it, where only one gets used at a time.

As you probably know, I always appreciate having a little room to goof off, and I appreciate it here as much as anywhere else, if not more so! It's nice to highlight this sense of wonder and discovery so early on in the game, and honestly the balance between a more clear linear progression with a little wiggle room to goof off and have fun is something I've always appreciated about these games, particularly the first. While I still enjoy Sky Station Galaxy quite a bit, as a first mission, I felt it was always a bit weaker in that regard.

Good Egg Galaxy isn't especially thematically cohesive, it kinda just feels like the devs threw whatever ideas they could think of into this one, but I don't really mind that at all. As the first "proper" galaxy you get to visit, it mostly exists to acquaint the player with how the game works, and show off some of the things they can do here. They're gonna have a bunch of differently shaped planetoids, a 2D section with gravity walls (they're back!), show off all the game's motion control gimmicks, and throw in a couple fun boss fights, for good measure. It's important to make a good first impression, and Good Egg Galaxy understands that very well.

And that's it for the A-tiers! Lots of gravity walls this time, apparently, though I think I might have talked about all of them by now...

Hope you're still enjoying this series! I mean, you probably are if you've made it this far. Tune in next week, when we'll start covering the top-tiers... We're reaching the cream of the crop, everyone! Or at least, the cream of my crop. As always, you're free to disagree, I don't mind. Mostly.

Take care!