#Clone Officer Incognito

[mwolf0epsilon]

A Day in the life of Guile Squad

Pi visiting the squad: Hello, I just came to- Pi sees 8-Ball shoving Incognito into the washing machine while Canivete records and Abstract watches: ... Pi retreating: Something suddenly came up.

-

Incognito: Womp rats are having sex in my walls. 8-Ball: Tattletale! Pi: You're just being ungrateful. Abstract: It's their home too, you know. Canivete: So what? Don't slutshame them. Incognito: The womp rats are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled...

-

Incognito: Pi's refusing to wear his glasses! Pi: Incognito, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch. Pi points to 8-Ball: 8-Ball. Pi points to Canivete: Canivete. Pi: points to Abstract: Sasquatch.

-

8-Ball: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Abstract: Schrödinger's boys. Canivete: FUCK! Incognito: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Pi: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Pi: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Abstract: ... 8-Ball: ... Canivete: ... Incognito: ... Pi: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

[cosm1nya]

Pizza Tower Headcanons: basic info

Peppino: he works at his pizzeria, had to defeat Pizza face to save his local. Y'know, the basic canon stuff. But he likes Noise and Noisette. They help him save his pizzeria. When he was younger, he hated pizza. He doesn't know how did it change, but he thinks that younger him was stupid.

Gustavo: Peppino's best friend and coworker. They first met each other in a park. Gus is a friend of nature. He can fully comunicate with brick and understands some other animals.

Brick: He's just a silly rat. He's kinda serious but prefers to be on his "no-brain" mode.

Pepperman: Draws since he was 3 years old, everyday. He's friends with Vigi. He prefers traditional art over digital art. Loves to paint with oil paints. Obsessed over alcohol markers. Rarely draws with crayons. Has 300 sketchbooks full of drawings of himself, but he also draws other people and nature. He painted all the portraits that hang on the walls inside the tower. He sometimes does graffiti. He's a good photographer.

Vigilante: He's an officer. Loves his job. He takes care of animals on his floor. Mort is his pet. He has a farm where he has many cows. Cows are his favorite animals. He's the original cheeseslime. All the Cheeseslimes in the tower are his clones, excluding Snooty.

Noise: Silly goofball<3. He works in the NTV, he's the main director of everything on his channel. If he's at his job, but he's not filming, not walking around the tower or annoying peppino, he sits at his director room. He has a lot of paperwork to do. (Noisette sometimes has to help him counting some things)

Noisette: Silly goofball 2 <3. He works at her cafe, but she loves to fight. She's a better fighter that Noise, she has never lost. But her boss gate and stage got destroyed. She's smart. In her past, before meeting Noise, she would dress up in her Mr Incognito costume and... Do bad things with her knife. She always has her gun in her pocket, but nobody knows about it. But she's silly :D. She had depression, she was addicted to smoking cigs, but her health was bad because of it, that's why she always tells noise to stop smoking. But now whenever she can, she goes into brainless mode. She and Noise enjoy being brainless together.

Bruno: Peppino's cousin. He owns a pizzeria on floor 4, next to Noisette's cafe. He's friendly to everyone. He has no rivals. He takes care of Fakey. He sometimes helps Noisette at her cafe, and she often helps him making pizzas. He had k-lled some people, but now he's a good guy.

Fake Peppino: Yay silly goofball 3 <3. Helps Noisette and Bruno at their locals. Lives at Bruno's but sometimes sleeps at Noise's and Noisette's house. He's cute, but inside he's a maniac, but inside that maniac, there's just a cute, soft, happy clone. He is sad that he's a clone, he wishes to be his own person. He has troubles with it, he sometimes doesn't know if he's real Peppino, clone, or if he's real or just an imagination. Only Noisette and Bruno understand his "language" and they're trying to teach him how to speak and write normally. He loves hugs, especially hugging Noise and Noisette.

Pizza Head: He usually makes clones. Clones of Peppino, Noiseys, Cheeseslimes, other enemies. He stalks Peppino. He created the whole tower, the machines that are there and many other things. He loves playing with Rubik's cube, he has never solved any. He took care of Fakey, but he does so much clones that he forgot about him. Pizza granny is his mom. He never had a father, so he created Pizza Face.

[nooneherebutaghost]

Hi Ghost!

This is the same anon as before 🥰 Thank you for answering my ask and being so kind!

I don't know if I'm ready to make a side blog for my clone shipping yet... I think I'd be scared to use the wrong blog when sharing. But maybe someday! For now, I'll just lurk.

So, while I'm here... I thought I'd let you know who my favorite ships are 🥰

Jesse/Kix (they are my favorite)

Tup/Dogma (they're just so darn cute)

Fives/Echo (they deserve each other)

Rex/Cody (because of a hot ABO fic)

Waxer/Boil (best gay dads ever)

Wolffe/Fox (this is new, but I'm liking it)

What are your favorites? I know you have a list on your blog, but do you have a top 5 list?

👤- Incognito Anon

Hello again Anon :D Hope you're doing well <3

Honestly that's a fair enough reason, one I still actually worry about when I queue/reblog posts as well :') (let me tell you, hunting down a post within a 1k queue on my main is a pain in the butt lmao) As I said in the previous ask, do what makes you comfortable and if its just lurking, then lurk away <3

Oooh! Those are pretty wonderful ships and the reason for liking Cody/Rex? 👀👌 I don't suppose you have a link to that fic? I have an inkling of which one(s) it could be. It's also awesome to know of someone else who likes Wolffe/Fox. Absolutely love those two after reading The Apocalypse Officers collection~.

For my top 5 though?

Tup/Dogma (tied with ocs Mal/Amiss because I'm biased and they make me happy thinking about them also)

Corr/Mereel

Cody/Rex

Fives/Echo

As for the fifth (I guess technically from the ships I've listed that's five lmao)? I don't really know tbh. It fluctuates with what mood I'm in at the time but as of right now, I want to say it's a three-way tie between Fox/Thorn, Boost/Sinker and Tup/Dogma/Hardcase.

[lycorogue]

Random Miraculous Ladybug dream highlights before it completely vanishes from my memory....

first thing I remember in the dream is Ladybug kidnapping Sabrina and taking her to one of those tropey wooden abandoned warehouse offices or something that movies tend to use for start-up fashion designer studios or something. Sabrina was brainwashed or whatever, and through the ✨Magic of Fashion✨ Ladybug is able to cure her. Sabrina asks about Chat Noir, and, on cue, someone knocks on the door. Ladybug turns, and my brain must have forgotten Sabrina was there, because she vanishes without anyone noticing.... feels on brand....

The person at the door is Chat Noir, but he's expecting to find Marinette there since this is apparently her fashion studio???? So Ladybug transforms back before letting him in. Chat Noir quickly dashes in with a preteen kid dressed as a monk sprinting in behind him before they close the door and tell Marinette to hide (we never figure out why. I don't recall them being attacked). Marinette is confused and wondering what is going on, so the monk opens up a Miracle Box that resembles the one Fu had. Out pops a mouse kwami that doesn't look like Mullo, and I even recall thinking "Oh, that's not Mullo..." but then the monk and Chat Noir still introduce Marinette to "Mullo"??? And Chat Noir says he needs Multimouse back (but doesn't explain why or why Ladybug isn't involved in this decision or anything). The pre-teen monk doesn't look like the young version of Fu and no one mentions him by name. So I'm not sure if he's SUPPOSED to be a time displaced Fu, or some random other monk from The Order of the Guardians who just so happens to have a sort of clone of Fu's Miracle Box????

Cut to earlier in the day when Adrien's father comes to meet him. SURPRISE! Turns out Gabriel isn't Adrien's father! My brain didn't sort out WHO Gabriel is instead: uncle, kidnapper, grandfather??? Adrien's actual dad - according to my dream - is still that generic Rich White Guy, but at least this time he's like a RomCom Love Interest Rich Dude... heart of gold but somehow forced to be distant??? Like, he had just escaped captivity himself, or something???? My brain didn't quite sort it out. I just got A Vibe (TM).

I don't recall what prefaced this bit or how Adrien was convinced or whatever, but I guess his dad (according to my dream) knew he was Chat Noir, and told him that. Feeling relieved that he didn't have to hide it, he confirmed his dad's suspicions by transforming into Chat Noir. Thing is, he did so on camera???? So he kind of announced to all of Paris that Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir???? (He could also now power-up to the point that he can transform into an actual panther a la Animan???)

We then jump back to Adrien and Marinette, who are now running around incognito. But it looks more like they're running around a city in the US than Paris... they end up hiding in a Best Buy parking lot or something???? Adrien is wearing one of those jackets with a hoodie liner, and the hood up to try to hide who he is. (Note: Adrien looks good in one of these jackets, and I wish I was a good enough artist to properly draw this look....) It was hard for me to tell via my dream if Marinette knew Adrien was Chat Noir (either via that televised reveal with his dad or via him just telling her personally). She did know he needed to hide from the public though.... Also, pre-teen monk wasn't with them, but Mullo still was????

Then the dream shifted to me on a walk with my sister-in-law and talking about the Miraculous season finale (which is apparently what the start of my dream was supposed to be?). I walked my sister-in-law home (which, by the way, was NOT her home or even her neighborhood IRL, but the place looked real swank in my dream, so I hope I manifest that for her...), and chatted with my niece and nephew about Miraculous as well.

Then I actually woke up.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "'Stop the car!': Man attempts to evade police with officer clinging to windshield #Shorts" on YouTube

This cop is a nephilim is the same type of person that shot then Arnold recently in the head is a special bullet and a special shot but he shot the number two guy on earth these people have no reserve and are not restricted by anybody for the most part and they need to be clamped down on these Maniacs are around our son some parts of the day the huge assholes they don't care about him they're afraid of him and they think they're always stronger and they're not and they'd find out the hard way because we're going to help our son the ignore them I'm tired of them they're huge babies and their assholes massive s*** faces and the influenced everybody to do it and everybody fell for it and they're pretty big they've been using your blood in The matrix they've been cloning in the matrix it's way too many of them and they're related to this airhead Tommy f well actually figured it out to his credit they took our son and took him for a ride and couldn't figure it out but this is enough I've seen enough of the stuff videos of these idiots doing this everywhere and really he wants to shoot the guy and I've had it they think they're indestructible

Thor Freya

I'm sitting here looking for a Barbie convention to fool around with a Barbie car to reminisce and to have Rolls-Royce kits made and some f**** full mother f****** stupid nephilim sticks his f****** ass in my face and expect sympathy for trying to arrest someone who's probably helping me and trying to shoot someone is probably helping me like Ben Arnold is even though I have some sort of issues it's none of their freaking business first off they're huge assholes this guy Howard Stern is a massive massive massive a****** he's a very mean person and he's absurd and he started most of this Yap he's a talking f****** cow and I mean he's a blast feed they get so huge and their ego gets so big and chemically their brain gets messed up big time and they don't know how to treat it properly I am positive steps mouthing off immediately has tons of people bothering me that stupid son of a b**** started this s*** and Wentworth I bet there's another complete a****** who started to s*** out there and UMass it's probably that drug dealer I'm telling you that these people are a source of a huge problem in your realm you need to address it they go incognito they can be shorter than you smaller than you bigger than you they have massive massive egos they've been building these huge ships they're giant pricks and by the way they're probably the ones who went up in the first run of ships they don't have to be huge I'll tell you what I am extremely angry at them with their dumb attitude and I bet you that's the guy holding 45 on me out there in the low desert and I've got proof

Zues Hera

You idiots have been shooting at him and you're going to go to jail you said it was Tommy Anthony had to get out of it I fought one of you in the nexo suit you're not that good at it then I'm Rusty and I saved him and he loves it he's trying to help and you're beating him down every day and he's poor in your dirty rotten stupid you're f****** everything up this guy is going to kick your ass he probably is Giants they're much more powerful and his people do too he says they're all Giants and you're in the wrong door and you're up the wrong tree I hope the hell you die but we have to take care of it they won't ask unless we do so f*** you you pieces of s***

Mac daddy

[mwolf0epsilon]

Diversity wins, the clone moth currently trying to pretend he's a super scary scorpion has anxiety!

But honestly they're so shape...

I was looking through the list of moths I assigned to my clones (it needs to be updated to add a few new babies) and I still giggle about the fact I decided Incognito should be a Spotted Apatelodes. They are a little funny shaped and look like they're pretending to be scorpions with how raised their abdomens are, which fits him well.

WHEEZE

We LIVE FOR THE FUNNY MOTH OCS

we're here for it ;w; omg he looks like such a try hard but with a heart of gold I can't omg omg

[countessofbiscuit]

If you're taking potential prompts...Fox and Riyo discuss tattoos in their respective cultures? Maybe while one gets a new design or a touch-up?

Fox didn’t set the Republic military standards, but he sure as heck has to exemplify them. So it’s my headcanon that he doesn’t have any tats until Riyo’s affection works on him and/or the shittiness of the rest of his life strips his uptight grain. But I like to think this still fits the bill! Thanks for the prompt : )

- - - - - 

Inked

2k. Teen. Also on Ao3.

- - - - - 

The Senate concourse never slept, but most of the Dome’s regulars had long since made for their beds when Fox spotted Senator Riyo Chuchi waiting for the Annex hovertram. She stood alone on the platform, arms wrapped snugly around herself and engrossed in the floor's marbling. The hour was far from social, but Fox had both an apology to make and thanks to offer. And there was no time like the present.

“Good evening, Senator Chuchi,” he greeted from a polite distance. Natborns, especially politicians haloed round by ego, took personal space seriously; brothers wouldn’t give both ears unless someone were right on top of them and they still might not pay any heed.

She straightened up, almost startled. But then — a diplomatic smile. “Commander Fox. Is everything alright?”

Species and biographic profiles popped across his display. Fox blinked them away.

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry for the disturbance. I wanted to apologize for not addressing you properly the other day, when you kindly held the lift for me.” For him, the discomfited idiot, who couldn’t bring himself to enter the public turbolift he'd subversively called when faced with a mere Senate guard and a pretty woman. “And to thank you — for that, and for not giving me away to Senator Robb.”

They’d only just been formally introduced yesterday by the Security Committee Chair — and Senator Chuchi had not let on that Fox had recently broken a Dome directive. Ignorance or indulgence, it mattered little. The effect on the fresh-off-the-transport commander was the same: he was very grateful.

“Oh! Of course. You’re most welcome,” Senator Chuchi answered mechanically. Diplomatically. Stalling for understanding with a squint behind her smile.

“My database wasn’t synced to my input feeds yet,” Fox clarified. He’d been plagued by a deep need to reassure her that he took professionalism seriously. That he wasn’t chronically cavalier with protocol. “I didn’t know who you were, at first. But I’ve modded the software, so I —”

The tram approached. But it was Senator Chuchi’s blue hand on Fox's gauntlet that really stopped his thoughts short at the brainstem. She was very petite and looked about as warm as a silk petal in a breeze; but Fox’s skin prickled strangely under the plastoid.

And she wasn’t cutting him off: she was holding him in place. When the tram doors parted, she did not let go. Senator Chuchi meant to keep him with her. Closely. As no one else was around — especially as no one else was around, Fox had no argument against overstepping another rule if the Senator condoned it.

The tram was reserved for senators whatever time of day; when Dome-bound platforms were busy, and certainly when a vote was called, no mere aide, intern, attaché or privileged tourist could expect passage. The tram droid would spot you at fifty paces, bleat and wail with flashing lights, shame you into the permacrete. Clones were just supposed to walk — or, in Fox’s case, bike.

“Truly, you’re very considerate,” Senator Chuchi replied once they were onboard. “But I didn’t notice. I forget that my face doesn’t always give me away.”

It certainly gave her away as being very beautiful. Fox killed his display entirely. He even indulged the idea of removing his helmet, the better to appreciate her. But that would be quite forward: she hadn’t asked and the Guard had a lids-on policy handed down by the executive office.

Fox cocked his helmet in silent encouragement.

“Chuchi tattoos.” She touched two fingers to her cheek. “Obvious to Pantorans.”

Fox cast his mind back to cultural modules. He remembered certain trivia and understood that this was a situation which called for small talk. “I've read about Pantoran ink. Is there really aurodium in yours?” he asked in a carefully modulated voice, though there was no one to overhear.

“Yes. It’s still common practice for — among certain families. Impossible for the layman to tell, however.”

Fox mentally calculated about twenty seconds until arrival. The time begged another question. “Did it hurt?”

“The first time. But everything is unbearable to a child. They were filled out when I came of age and it wasn’t so bad.”

“Who did yours?” Fox found his questions coming as naturally as her answers. This wasn't so bad. Not at all.

“Someone my Grandmama knew. They decide these things. And they keep the rakes.”

“Rakes?”

“The tattooing tool. Usually the bone — well, it’s … it’s customary to keep an ulna and radius of one’s mother to be fashioned into rakes, and then into button hooks or hair pins once they’re worn down.”

Wasn’t the oddest natborn tradition he’d ever heard. And just the other day Stone reported that a detachment of MPs had cut their teeth over Ohma-D’un breaking up a brawl about some cursed finger of Jango’s. A few units claimed to possess one. Everyone deferred to Geonosis vets, and really, what was the harm? Well, until they came to blows over it. “Huh.”

“Do you have any?” she asked.

“Ma’am?”

“Tattoos?”

Thankfully, the hovertram was slowing into the station. It allowed Fox a transitory moment to consider why she’d care and to gather his conflicted thoughts on the subject as they disembarked.

Strictly speaking, tattoos were against regs, at least for clones. The RCMJ prohibited any bodily ornamentation that might bring discredit upon the galaxy’s preeminent military, but culturally significant tattoos and jewellery were permissible for natborns — the unspoken being that clones didn’t have a culture to claim.

“No, I don’t have any. It’s, uhh … not allowed in the Guard.” Not that Fox hadn’t seen some. Even before deployment — back before it was his problem to punish — the occasional itch to differentiate, to distinguish, had defied the longnecks’ surveillance, at least until the next quality control inspection.

Some experiments with filched hypos and med-markers had lasted longer than others. Stars and heavens help the bastards who’d inked themselves and paid for it in sweat and blood and punishment tours, only for the artistry to fade. Or for the shine to quickly wear off their youthful love of Coruscanti opera or the Galactic Senate. Or for the limb get plain blown off.

“Oh. On what grounds?” she asked.

In the main, Fox liked the RMCJ: it accorded a comforting set of guardrails, standards, and norms in a new and overwhelming operating environment. But he sensed a rebuke of the hard facts of life forming in the good Senator’s mind.

No point clouding the issue for her sensibilities; the regs only referenced what the Military Creation Act made plain in Section 3: all of clonedom, from marshal commanders to the lowest and last trooper on the production line, belonged to her federal government. Down to the dermis.

“Defacement of Republic property,” Fox offered as he followed her onto the Annex slideramp, since she hadn’t dismissed him yet.

Senator Chuchi did indeed frown up at him. “Does it really say that?”

“Yes. In the uniform code.” In a number of articles, actually — like the ones about mistreatment of service property and punishments for desertion. “There’s a certain leniency out in the field, I gather,” Fox added lightly, though privately he marvelled how any officer could sufficiently shake that feeling of a cold finger hovering behind their ear and get inked; would he even recognize himself without observational stress? “But it’d be nice to have it codified — or, err, uncodified.”

While he’d made it widely and painfully understood that facial tattoos would be burned off before they could be flagged as culturally insensitive, Fox wasn’t wholly a rule-bound, stuffed suit of armor. He was slightly more practical than purist. The Guard’s plates needed to be uniform and finer than dinnerware, sure; but so long as you were fit to fight, what happened under your blacks was between you, your sergeant, and your capacity to endure barracking.

Fox chose not to see a lot of things and liked to figure what natborns couldn’t see couldn’t hurt them.

Problem was, natborns liked to see fucking everything, especially politicians curious about how fully organic their new army was. Inspect, his shebs — bother, interrupt, and gawp at, more like. Guard Central off the Executive Thoroughfare was hardly incognito and not necessarily off-limits if you could nab some natborn logistics lieutenant with the most basic clearance.

It was only a matter of time before a guardsman got his favorite dancing girl slapped across his back in glorious color and some peeping bureaucrat kicked up a stink about a gross lack of standards in the locker room. Fox could do nothing about General Tiaan or other top brass, but at least they trumpeted a few hours before their arrival to ensure the proper pomp and ceremony — and they didn’t care about the showers.

Senator Chuchi had gone quiet as they reached the main Annex lobby. Fox’s neck dampened to think he’d lowered her spirits or given her cause to regret his company.

He also believed guilt helped no one. She didn’t seem pompous or presumptuous, just unfailingly polite. Maybe he had a chance to make a real ally. “If I may request a favor, ma’am,” he ventured, steepling his hands at his navel like he’d seen the Chancellor do when putting forth a sensitive proposition. “For my own ... err, family.”

This time Senator Chuchi arrested Fox with both hands on his gauntlets. He couldn’t have moved if Corrie’s axis pitched. “Certainly,” she said. “I like to think I’m a public servant. And not only for Pantorans.”

Fox had been primed to make a short speech about clone personhood and the need for senatorial sympathy. He was damn tired, though. And moonstruck. Enough to make him chuckle and ask instead, “If you could maybe … I don’t know, discreetly put it round that it’s gauche for politicians to drop into the barracks unexpected? The men don’t get a lot of privacy and the shower block’s the closest thing to a spiritual retreat they’ve got.”

Senator Chuchi’s bright eyes widened, his display registering a sharp increase in her pulse and temperature. “Of course. You have my word. I’ll see if can carefully address this matter of … discretion. And I’m sorry you had to ask.” Her knuckles paled as she squeezed his armor; he felt nothing but her sincerity.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Fox was so flustered, he nearly invited her to drop by his block anytime, which would’ve been the height, depth, and breadth of stupidity. Instead he said something else that was only marginally short on sense. “It’s very late. May I escort you home?”

“That’s kind of you, Commander. But my driver will be here now.” Her driver — of course: she was as rich as Koros, she possessed a smile literally finer than gold, and she wasn’t touching him anymore. Fox bowed his head low — a head that had almost outgrown his helmet in a moment of unprofessional conceit.

He had to walk back down the Thoroughfare to fetch his bike. As he did, Fox wondered what might bring him to patronize that closet in the barracks he wasn’t supposed to know about. What he’d ask for, if he ever forgot his station enough to ask. What could ever stir his heart so much, that he’d wish to mark the spot.

Hypos and hypotheticals: Fox, senior commander and paragon of the Guard, didn’t have time or liberty for either. He tried to forget all about it.

[helenofsimblr]

Joan slowly and stealthily emerged through the floor at the bottom of the building. Walking through the earth itself was a bit... unnerving. One of her only fears was that of being buried alive. So passing through solid ground was very disorientating for her, however, her instinct was good, and she popped up inside Van Duson’s office.

Joan: Ah a stack of money, what a glorious sight. If I had pockets... I’d help myself to a few grand. Soon! Very soon!

Joan emerged into the sub level basement and looked around. It was functional, boring, a proper military room. 

***

She walked through the door and thought she’d float upstairs and see what’s going on above. She didn’t know how long she may have till Lyra pulled the plug on her freedom... Joan still was on a leash to Lyra. But hopefully not for much longer. She made her way to the upper level.

***

Megan: Wow Jonathan you look... so stylish.

Jonathan *smirking*: Im incognito for my patrol, and its cold. 

Megan: Yeah sure. Its dead sexy!

Joan who had been peering through the wall stared at the conversation and rolled her ghostly eyes.

Joan: If I had stomach... I’d be violently sick right now!

Megan: Oh hey, what did you do with... the thing...?

Jonathan: Its sleeping in the clone room right now.

Megan: I can’t believe you made that thing... Seriously Jon, RTFM next time! 

Joan: Paydirt!

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Ghost Spider #2 Thoughts

Sigh...more of the same...

This premise gets worse the more you think about it.

I mean let’s talk about the most obvious thing that didn’t occur to me before. So Gwen needs to pick her entry points back and forth from Earth 616 carefully because her powers don’t work immediately after exiting a portal. To this end she chooses a spot she knows will lead to a bill board with poles jutting out she can grab onto before her powers kick in again.

...why not just open a portal on the ground?

Then you have the utter lack of world building.

It’s fair enough to presume that audiences are familiar with the world building of Earth 616. It’s been around for donkey’s years and it’s the basis for just about every media adaptation of Marvel ever, including the movies. Even if it’s far from a 1:1 similarity it is close enough that even comic book virgins can jump in and not be at too much of a loss. That’s particularly true for a Spidey series where the premise is to be relatively normal, the only fantastical elements demanding world building being the spider powers (which everyone on earth is aware of) and the villains, who often speak for themselves or are famous enough that you can presume knowledge from the audience.

But when it comes to alternate universes like Earth 65, which are specifically alternative to  Earth 616, you do need to flesh some things out. And so far beyond Gwen is a super hero and not dead, nor is her Dad and Jameson’s son is an evil gangster not much world building going on.

More problematically is the fact that basic questions are never raised nor answered. Gwen says in Earth 65 she’s going to be late for a class in Earth 616. Is time synchronized though between universes? That’s a pretty basic question when dealing with parallel universes. In the Doctor Who episode ‘Rise of the Cybermen’ that question was answered almost immediately upon entry to the parallel Earth of that story, and the series at that time was trying to be baby’s first science fiction!

It’s not an unreasonable question to ask either given how from Spider-Man’s POV Spider-Verse (where he first met Spider-Gwen) was years ago but the first sentence of the recap page of this series states Gwen got her powers mere months ago.

Playing in the same ballpark as the bad world building is the ignoring of established continuity in regards to the Jackal. Now look, I could buy that Warren has gone so far off the deep end that he considers turning Gwen into a furry like him a good idea.

But...doesn’t Warren effectively consider his clones of Gwen as the real thing? Isn’t that the entire reason he cloned Gwen in the first place, why he set up the original clone of Gwen with a clone of himself to in a weird way live out his fantasy?

So why is he obsessed over this new version of Gwen, a version that for all he knows could just be another clone? In fact if you are Miles Warren wouldn’t that be the first thing you presume? It’s not like she has given any genetic samples he can test to confirm if she is a clone or not.

On the other end of this relationship I just realized how asinine it is that no one recognizes Miles Warren, especially at ESU. Sure once upon a time Warren’s identity was secret. Even after his presumed death in the 1970s Clone Saga his identity was a secret. But that all changed in the 1990s Clone Saga when he was arrested and sent to Ravencroft. At that point his identity became public knowledge. There were like SWAT teams after him for god’s sake! And it’s very difficult to believe that ESU, the place where he worked for years and then randomly disappeared from wouldn’t have heard about one of their staff members being a super villain. Especially a super villain who

a)      Became a player in gangland activities

b)      Was targeted by the Punisher...three times!

c)       MURDERED one of their other staff members!

d)      Was majorly complicit in an event that turned everyone in New York into spider monsters!

e)      Attempted global genocide!

f)       Seemingly died very publically

Those last two by the way? They happened on site of the Daily Bugle newspaper!

This isn’t even addressing how he was last seen Marvel Team Up 2019 where he was again arrested at ESU itself! This issue does nothing to explain how he went from that situation to this. Which I’m actually okay with as that was handled by a different editorial office. If you like that was Ms. Marvel continuity and this is Spider continuity.

Normally I’d let the other continuity errors slide but most of them are stories that are major major appearances by the Jackal and define his relationship with Gwen Stacy in the first place, which is the thing this whole arc is built upon.

But no. He changes his last name, and literally nothing else, and he goes unrecognized. Unrecognized in a school where Peter Parker  is a teaching assistant (still don’t know when or where that happened)!!!!!!!!!!!!! How on Earth is he going incognito? Does he just make sure to stay 10 paces behind Peter at all times??????? Hell Curt Connors is working there too and he has to know that, he just saw Connors in Clone Conspiracy! In fact GWEN saw him in Clone Conspiracy, she saw multiple clones of him looking just like he did in issue #1 why was she not reacting to that?

My God it gets dumber the more I think about it because in Clone Conspiracy we last saw Warren blowing himself up and that was 100% confirmed to be the real Warren not another clone so who is this guy? Not to mention that story also depicted Warren wearing a Jackal costume not actually transforming into a human jackal monster.

Now me personally I think nowdays the latter idea should be the norm for the character. It never made sense for a middle aged man to get the better of Spider-Man, but his 90s Joker/Matrix look was just terrible. Having him transform back and forth though is a great compromise. But again how did we get here????????????????

It’s all just so poorly thought through!

Going back to what I said last issue about the lack of information given to new readers, this story goes along with that as far as the Man-Wolf is concerned. His treatment very much plays out as the latest issue in a run which would be fine if this was merely Ghost Spider #51-52 as opposed to ALSO being Ghost Spider #1-2. To treat this character who’s affecting subplots the way he is as though readers should just know who he is doesn’t make sense with a major relaunch. We haven’t even SEEN Man-Wolf in this series but we’ve talked a lot about him.

Remember show don’t tell?????????????

The same applies to the ramifications of his actions. He’s responsible for a bomb. What bomb? He almost killed Harry? Who is Harry? Gwen tells some thugs to leave her friends alone but its not until panels later that we confirm they are Man-wolf’s thugs, played initially as it was that wasn’t clear.

All of this is a non-issue if you read the older run but if you haven’t then it’s confusing and alienating.

And unlike what certain people might say it’s beyond unacceptable to demand that readers do homework to enjoy a comic they already paid for.

Lets change things up and talk about the two positives I have. The art continues to be nice, I especially like Benji’s look because it is very reminiscent of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane! And, as was common back when I was reading Spider-Gwen regularly, George Stacy continues to be the best character in this. The short scene in the kitchen was the best scene of the whole book and was genuinely endearing.

Okay back to the justifiable complaints.

So Gwen comments that she has to be subtle in order to keep her identity on Earth 616...but then towards the end of the book she enters a portal from Earth 65 into Earth 616 unmasked. This is stupid in general but extra stupid considering she knows her powers don’t immediately work upon exiting portals. So even if she wasn’t immediately spotted by someone or a CCTV camera she wouldn’t even have a spider sense to warn her of danger for a few precious seconds! Someone who’s life was upended by her identity being revealed (and was a public enemy before that) would be naturally wary of something like this. This isn’t even accounting for the fact that she knows she DIED in Earth 616 because one lunatic discovered Peter’s identity! Also if she can exits portals on roof tops why does she ever need to risk her neck over at that billboard?

The only other problem I spotted was that the colourist seriously screwed up Peter’s look as he has black hair instead of brown.

Besides all that the inherent problems of the premise from last issue still apply. Peter being a regular character. Gwen endangering her friends on Earth 65. The division between the supporting cast.

Ugh....this is gonna be a slog of a series isn’t it...

[avatarpabu97]

My Rant and nitpicks

Ok, don't get me wrong I love Rebels but after its end something kept bugging me. Until I realized something, many skills and aspects of Ezra’s arc and skills were taken from him! Among some other minor things!

Some examples: 

Tech skill - as the series progressed we saw less and less of this. Instead most of it went to Sabine. Which is upsetting because yeah I guess it makes sense she would have some but he was able to build a unique light saber hybrid. I guess I’ve always interpret Sabine = Pidge and Ezra = Hunk.

Incognito - Ok, Sky Strike and Blood sisters. Yes I realize Sabine was in the academy much longer then Ezra and he was generally curious about why he wasn't chosen. But here's the thing Sabine is in the system and it was extremely easy for Pryce pull up her file because she was well versed in imperial protocol. In blood sisters Sabine picked because she would be less conspectuses that makes sense since she was a bounty hunter. But Sabine sticks out. Both Times Ezra was passed over because they thought he would stick out to much. I argue he wouldn't, our blueberry has almost eight years of making sure he wouldn't stand to protect himself and pickpocket. His modest flying skills as Thrawn put it would have him looked over.

Pryce - Here we have this ruthless imperial officer who comes from Lothal who helped ruin the planet for the sake of progress. After the clone wars Lothal went bankrupt and Pryce wanted to create Jobs. Everything Pryce and Ezra do is for Lothal. That being said he would've have an antagonist close to home but they gave this plot point to Sabine then drop that plot point faster then Saxons body sinking to the bottom the Krownest lake. Its why her death was less satisfying.

Denied - We were denied Hera and Ezra hugs, we were denied Hera teaching Ezra, we were Denied Zeb character development, denied AP-5! Denied Kallus and Zeb interacting with more Lasat! Denied Wolffe and Gregor! Denied my boy Fenn Rau! Denied Hera and Sabine missions!

The Uncles and Space Dad - We could've had such an inserting story if we had just a few episodes with Kallus, Kanan, Zeb, Rau, Rex Gregor and Wolffe. All these assholes are survivors and possible recovering alcoholics! 

Lothal - The final arc was about Ezra and his culture. It was implied that Ezra was very important to the planet. The mural! Oh how I hate that mural. I interrupt the mural as a force vison and the image was repeated and found in multiple places in the universe like the ones mural. I still believe we didn't see the full mural, that their are more images depicting different paths because the future is ever changing. We get a little bit of art that's native to Lotahl who’s the one to analyze it? Not Ezra that's for sure, I mean why would he help the crew understand his culture better? And Kanan, I love you space dad but tacking on the whole ‘ oh he’s from lothal the entire time’ feels cheap and lazy and insult to Kanan’s individuality . There was no hint or anything that would suggest Kanan being from Lothal. It just was a Lazy tack on. I guess filoni wanted to make everything connected but Kanan’s bond with Ezra is what brought us to this point. Hera and made Kanan a better man but Ezra made him a Jedi again which helped his found family I the long run. Lothal was the ghost crew’s found home. Ezra was the true son of Lothal, the spark of hope for his people, the crew were meant to find him because it helped kickstart everything and most of his arc that would show his strong connection to his home and all living things in general was taken from him and given to Kanan and Sabine. Wow!

Dume - Kanan should've had no connection to this asshole. If you truly wanted a piece of him to come back as a wolf. Then Dume should've been a more nurturing wolf the size of the other loth wolves. The big one should've been Lothal’s spirit manifesting itself in physical form. Telling Ezra he was born from her soil and giving life from her spirit so he may help save her and her people. The force brought you teacher so you may learn to harness the power of his ancestors. Because it is sure implied that Lothal is some sort spiritual heart for the Lothal sector.

I’m sorry it seems I’m hating on these characters but I’m not. I’ve been sitting on this for awhile. As the series progressed a lot of the reasons why I liked this show got shafted to the side and it just didn't feel right. I haven't posted this sooner because it felt like I’m in the minority with certain opinions. 

[mwolf0epsilon]

The Oddity of Guile Squad

Summary: No one ever remembers that Guile Squad has two other members.

[Pi and Abstract are very weird, but their siblings love them anyway.]

THIS STORY IS NOW ON AO3

---

When people speak of Guile Squad, they only really talk about Canivete, Incognito and 8-Ball. It's an honest mistake. The three of them were the most memorable of the bunch. More the namesake of their unit than the two batchers who were actually more in tune with the crafts they specialized in.

When people speak of Guile Squad, they forget Pi and Abstract. And it's not entirely their fault for excluding the two from their thoughts and memories. It's much easier to instead remember the boisterous and motherhenly Cani, the anxious but quick on the draw Inco, and the insightful and usually cheery 8-Ball.

Pi has always been easy to spook. More illusive than Incognito who's made an art of vanishing in plain sight when he's nervous. Well hidden within the heavy armour he wears and the cupboards he squeezes himself into. Also much more enthused by the prospect of losing himself to lines of code, numbers and whatever creature he'd stawed away in his preferred cramped living space. More than in socialization that's for sure.

And Abstract is better off forgotten by most than remembered at all. At least by other battalions, squads and even the few Jetii that can't bare to go near it them without fear of injury. They haven't been the same since the accident. It's not safe for anyone to remember. It's best to leave them in the lonely dark locked room in the Halls of Healing. For everyone's sake, especially the creature trooper itself themself.

Cani, Inco and 8-Ball talk of Pi regularly enough. Check on him enough. Show their love and support more than enough, even if they can't quite understand his fascination for solitude. He's been like this since the accident. Changed in a very harmless different way but changed all the same. Took up doodling now, to remember in his own way.

Only Cani talks about Abstract anymore. The memory is painful and it brings discomfort to the others, but they never tell her to stop. Nor do they tell her to stop spending her leave time sitting in front of that forbidden door, hoping to hear their lost sibling respond when she talks to the thing patient behind the door. They understand Cani misses Aby. They miss him too.

[beatrice-otter]

Past Lives, Chapter 9/?

On AO3 Chapter 1 on Dreamwidth

Chapter Nine

The armor … took some doing.

"I'm sorry, we don't have the equipment to fabricate or modify armor here, Sergeant," said the armorer, a Specialist named Tripwire. "And even if we did, I wouldn't know how to use it. Clone armor comes standard, and it fits like a glove because our bodies are all the same." The armory was a tent with one of its sides rolled up, situated next to the mess tent at the center of camp, just where it would have been in a First Order camp. Easy to get to, no matter where you were, if there was an unexpected need to rearm or change weapons load.

"But what about your Jedi?" Finn asked. "They don't have full armor, but they've at least got something. Or Kenobi and Skywalker do, at any rate."

"The Jedi get their armor from the Temple, not from me," Tripwire said. "Not that they wear much of it."

"And what happens if you gain weight? Or lose it, on a long campaign with fewer supplies?" Finn asked. "What happens if you get switched to a different job and your muscle configuration changes because your activity profile does?" Basic Stormtrooper conditioning was always the same, of course, but many specialties had additional special training or duties, and that always affected things.

Tripwire and Kano exchanged glances. "We're all fed the same thing, so any changes tend to be battalion-wide," Tripwire said.

"But if you can't modify the armor, all that means is that everyone's armor fits wrong," Finn pointed out.

"And while you can get food on the black market special, or sometimes when we're on a planet with markets and people are willing to trade with us, they strongly discourage anyone from eating enough to alter your functioning to any degree."

"Fair enough," Finn said; one of the happinesses he hadn't anticipated about leaving the First Order was getting to choose what he ate and when he ate it. "But you can't tell me that ARC troopers and regular troopers have the same musculature, much less pilots and ARC troopers."

"So?" Kano said.

"You're telling me that you still wear the same armor?" Finn demanded. "Doesn't it chafe?"

"Yeah, but armor isn't supposed to be comfortable," Tripwire said. "And that's part of the point of mass-produced soldiers. You can mass-produce the gear, too, and do you think the bean-counters on Coruscant care if it chafes a bit?"

Finn shook his head. "But it impedes efficiency. Oh, well, it’s not like I’m going to be trying to fight in it anyway.”

“If you have to, we’re all screwed,” Kano said.

“The bodysuit is going to be the real problem,” Tripwire said. “It doesn’t have a lot of give in it … and you’re a full two centimeters taller than a brother. It’d be easier if you were two centimeters shorter, instead.”

“The bodysuit is crawling up my ass,” Finn said, shifting uncomfortably. And it was chafing his dick. Two centimeters didn’t sound like much, but it was the difference between fitting perfectly and … not.

“Could we just cut it in half so it’s pants and a shirt?” Jesse asked. “It’d kill the temperature controls and some of the blaster protection, but it’s pretty temperate here and if he’s not going to be fighting …”

"If we need temperature controls, or are going to be in combat, I can change bodysuits," Finn said.

“Here’s the armor,” Tripwire said, handing over a standard armor crate, just like the ones Finn had used all his life before defecting. He felt a lump in his throat, and he couldn’t tell whether it was positive or negative.

“And here’s the paint and brushes,” Tripwire continued, bringing out a container and a package.

“What?” Finn asked.

“Say, what’s your design, anyway?” Jesse asked.

“My what?”

“Your design,” Tripwire said. “Your paint? Armor-tat? Second face?”

“You know, the stuff you paint on your armor to show who’s in it?” Jesse said.

“Any sign of individuality got punished,” Finn said. “If they knew you had any designator other than a serial number, they would punish you for using it. We were only allowed to take off the buckets to eat, sleep, bathe, and for medical purposes.”

Jesse looked more horrified than he had when Finn had told them about the fall of the Republic. Tripwire sat down slowly on the armor crate behind him. It was, Finn realized, the heart of the difference between the Old Republic's clones and the First Order's troopers. Both were mass-produced and conditioned for battle, both were disposable in the service of their nations, both were designed to be interchangeable.

But for the Clone Troopers, that uniformity had limits. As long as they could fight interchangeably, their thoughts could be as individual as they wanted … and so could their armor. That was … he needed to think about that.

“Well,” Tripwire said, with a determined voice, “here you can put whatever you want on your armor.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” Finn said. “Can’t you just … do something apropriate? Ordinary? The whole point is to blend in, so, you guys know more about what type of paint would blend in than I do.”

“Of course not!” Jesse said, voice rising in horror. “It’s your armor. Your paint! Your second face! Kriff, Finn, you just—you just don’t mess with another man’s paint!”

“So, I’ll think about it, figure something out,” Finn said. “Once I get a design, can one of you paint it? I don’t know how to paint.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know how?” Tripwire said. “It’s just regular paint. I know curved surfaces and plastoid take a little bit of getting used to, but it’s not that bad.”

“I’ve never painted anything before.”

“Well, it’s not that different than drawing, then. Just draw the outlines and fill them in.”

“I’ve never drawn anything before, either.”

There was a silence, for a bit, as the two clones digested that, faces drawn. Finn stood there awkwardly, not sure why they were so profoundly shocked by this. He got why never being allowed to take your armor off was horrifying; even he had known it was bad, back when he’d never had any experiences outside of the First Order. And the Resistance members, the few he’d talked about it with, they’d all agreed with him. But none of them had ever even mentioned anything about art. None of them really made art, that he knew of. But to Tripwire and Jesse, no artistic experience was unthinkable.

“Tempera used to be part of the training cadre, he’d know how to teach art,” Jesse said at last.

“All I’ve got is paint and markers for the armor,” Tripwire replied, “but I think the quartermaster has more. I KNOW he’s got tablets and styluses that are fitted with a basic drawing program.”

“Okay,” Finn said slowly. Looks like he was getting art lessons. It wasn’t very practical, but on the other hand, what else was he going to do while they waited? It’s not like they could send him out on missions, the clones had the regular garrison duties taken care of, and there were only so many hours per day that he could debrief.

The first thing they had done, once reaching Coruscant, was to give Bail every file they had about the contract that had produced the clone army.

"That is all that you know?" Bail asked incredulously, looking over the reports. "I've always known there was more to the story than the bare-bones account that the Senate was told, but I assumed you knew it and just didn't want to share for some reason. Classified for the war effort, possibly. But you never investigated it at all, did you, once you'd discovered it. A mysterious army was dropped in your lap just as war breaks out, and you never asked any questions."

"The Force moves in mysterious ways," Master Windu said stiffly, "and we had rather more immediate problems at the time. You yourself voted for the bill that gave the Jedi authority over the clone army, and turned us into officers. Since then, we have had very little to spare for investigative work."

"Yes, but I assumed I could trust your competence," Bail said, matching his tone. "From this, that doesn't seem to have been the case."

"Oversight is the Senate's responsibility," Master Windu replied. "Even if it had been classified, you had a right to ask—either in person or on the Senate floor—to see that the investigation had been done, even if you were not cleared to see the results. And what do you think would have happened, if we had refused to take command of the troops until the investigation was complete? Or if we had admitted publicly that one of our members had gone rogue and ordered this without our knowledge or wish? Or diverted significant attention from the war to continuing the investigation? You're the Senator, you tell me."

Bail sat back, stroking his beard. He hated to admit it, but Windu had a point. After Geonosis, the whole Republic had been caught up in war fever, so focused on the need to punish the Separatists that any delay or foot-dragging was seen as treason. And that was just public opinion; if Finn was correct, and Palpatine was a traitor bent on destroying the Jedi, he would certainly have been able to use any reluctance to his advantage. "So you chose expediency and political considerations over doing your job fully."

"Yes," Windu said. "And how many times, Senator, have you and your colleagues done the same?"

Bail nodded unwillingly.

"In any case, what's done is done," Windu said. "Recriminations at this stage will get us nowhere. We need proof of Palpatine's treason—or loyalty—and we need to make contingency plans."

"What did you have in mind?" Bail asked.

Ahsoka stepped off her ship and locked it, clasping her cloak firmly against the wind. The problem with going incognito on her own was that anyone who knew anything about Togruta could see that she wasn't fully mature yet. As a Jedi, she had become a legal adult when she was apprenticed. Young, and still needing supervision as far as the Jedi were concerned, but an adult as far as anybody else was concerned.

Undercover, without Jedi status, nobody who knew what an adult Togruta looked like would believe she was one. Her montrals were too small and stubby.

She hoped that as long as she kept her cloak up, nobody would notice. Or maybe mistake her for an adult of another species.

Ship locked and docking fees paid, she got herself a room for the night and began looking up medical supply companies. There should be a fair number—this planet was known in the region for its medical supply companies—and hopefully she'd find one she could order from over the holonet and have it delivered to her ship, with no need to talk to a sentient being who might remark on her age.

She couldn't wait for her montrals to get their full growth. Missions like this would be so much easier.

"The first step," Tempera said, "is just to get you used to creating." They were sitting side-by-side at a table, thankfully with no one else in the tent with them.

Finn was getting really tired of being stared at. He'd been stared at when he first joined the Resistance; it wasn't like they got defectors from the First Empire every day. But they'd all been busy, and nothing he could tell them about the First Order and how it treated Stormptroopers was a surprise to them, not really, and if First Order defectors were rare it wasn't as if they'd never happened.

Time travel made him absolutely unique, and most of what he'd told people about his life experiences was a horrifying shock, and they didn't have much to do until Commander Tano returned with the specialized equipment and droids needed for neurosurgery. They had a lot of time to stare at him. Tempera hadn't, so far; Jesse had talked to him about art lessons out of Finn's presence, and Tempera had been nothing but matter-of-fact since he'd shown up. It was a nice change.

Finn sighed and turned his attention to the functions of the tablet Tempera was showing him, how he could produce lines of different thicknesses and colors, how he could erase what he didn't like, and so on.

"Good," Tempera said, after quizzing Finn to make sure he remembered what he'd been shown. "Now draw whatever you want to draw. Scribbles and doodles and random stuff is fine, don't worry about whether it's good or not. You don't have to show it to me if you don't want to." He turned to his own tablet and began … doing something on it.

Finn pondered the instructions for a bit. "Tempera?" he said. He had an awful feeling this was going to start another round of horrified stares.

"Yes, Finn?" Tempera said, looking up from his tablet.

"What's 'scribbles and doodles'?"

[starwarstournament]

WHO WOULD WIN? Deyd Llnewe vs COO-2180 (Round 1)

Deyd Llnewe ("Routine” - Star Wars Tales 2) (Wookieepedia)

Deyd Llnewe was an Imperial captain just prior to the Battle of Yavin. He was in command of the Carrack-class cruiser Vigilant.

Armor: Imperial Officer Uniform

Weapon: None

COO-2180 (Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones novelization) (Wookieepedia)

COO-2180 was a COO cook droid serving as a member of the crew on the refugee transport Jendirian Valley who served modest meals to the passengers on board. When R2-D2 entered the food line to secure meals for Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala, who were traveling from Coruscant to Naboo incognito, COO-2180 told the astromech off for getting in line in place of his owners, but it was too late. Artoo had already gotten food for the pair and answered the cook droid's invective with some of his own.

Armor: Droid Plating

Weapon: None

ARENA: Open Hangar

Vote Here

Full Bracket Here

[mwolf0epsilon]

I saw someone in the clone wars tag saying something about wanting to see a story about a clone trooper with a broken inhibitor chip and a battle droid in a found family situation and it reminded me of your clone officer who's stuck in a ship full of battle droids who think he's also a droid.

I really should do something with Incognito and the Droid Squad at some point, I've neglected them so much in favour of Inco's batchers... (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

But oh gosh, I didn't expect anyone to remember them! That said, Inco's chip is very functional. It just never activated because communications to the ship were cut off ages ago on Krell's command.

The Venator was considered lost to the Separatist Forces with all crew killed in action, so Incognito was essentially left with no knowledge of what went down past the ship's walls. He's pretty lucky no one's stumbled across the ship actually. There's an order out to have it destroyed on sight.

[mwolf0epsilon]

What if I fleshed out Krell's battalion beyond just Incognito the clone officer who's stuck adrift in space on an abandoned Venator with a squad of separatist droids, and they were basically negative mirror/polar opposite versions of the 501st. So basically what the 501st could have become had they been under Krell from day 1 instead of just becoming his temporary troops on Umbara, because being treated like expendable tools/the scum on your general's boots would definitely leave some terrible damage ahaha.... Ahahah... Ahahaha.... -opens document-

[mwolf0epsilon]

Clone Officer Incognito would very much like to get off this wild ride...