#Clinic Vest Project

[knitmeapainting]

Hello friends! I have put together a small shop of my art. For now it will just hold those five listings, but as I get larger pieces done I will probably start paying for the shop and listing more stuff there. If there's ever a painting here that you want, know that:

1) You can message me through here, or email knit me a pony at gmail and I will list it for you, and

2) Half the proceeds go to Clinic Vest Project, a great cause. (The other half go to cat food, various bills, and more art supplies for future art.)

If you really love a piece but can't afford it, know that I also collect art and I'd be happy to work on a trade with you if you'd like to do that!

http://knitmeapony.bigcartel.com

[knitmeapony]

At The Empty Bottle in Chicago tonight, giving away notebooks and spells to support the Clinic Vest Project! Swing by if you are in town!

[beedreamscape]

I'm a true believer that before, uhm, the whole exploding the whole universe and becoming all-powerful thing, John was a colourful wardrobe guy. That before becoming obsessed with the cryo project he wanted to be an actual teacher, and he was confident he'd be the cool teacher™ (he would not) and his wardrobe had to reflect that.

I'm talking crazy sweaters, colorful jeans, multicolored sneakers, maybe even a vest, etc.

(Teacher John tangent. He thinks he'd be the cookie quirky teacher but he'd be the insane chaotic one that looks like he hasn't slept in three days and yet doesn't drink any coffee, he either hasn't fucked in two year or shagged five minutes before getting into class, divorced vibes yet he's never been married, is clearly in love with the bitchy biology teacher and the lame ass history teacher, he loves kahoot with candy prizes bc it brings the worst in his students, you know his abilities were made for rocket building but he insists on teaching the kids, tells everyone jokingly about his crazy ex who is actually clinically insane. Of course he teaches physics, almost all of his experiments end either with fire or some crazy witchcraft shit.)

But then, well, he became the necrolord prime, ransomer of death, yada yada, so he had a persona to uphold. He has to dress like he's eternally mourning and if we consider one day of morning for each person who died he'll need at least 500 thousand years of worth of black outfits and that's just torture.

[knitmeapony]

So a couple of years ago I took my little @knitmeapainting canvases to a fundraising party (for the Clinic Vest Project, who continue to be awesome) and gave them away to people who donated money to the cause.

This year, I went back to give away little notebooks I'd made, and someone told me that they had kept my little silly painting in their foyer and everyone still loves it.

Two years, someone has kept that lil tiny canvas and it's still bringing them joy.

I literally cried, y'all. TELL. PEOPLE. YOU. LOVE. THEIR. WORK.

its so scary to put yourself out there but a SINGLE message saying "hi i loved what you made it touched me in some way" makes it all worth it 10000%

[bike42]

Sunday January 5, 2025

It ended up being a really cold night, even with two wool blankets. I was too groggy to get up to put on more clothes or shut the windows! It was in the 50’s, but without elevation and at this altitude, that felt cold.

I got out of bed about 6am, dressed in yoga clothes with a puffy vest and went in the kitchen to put the hot water kettle on for tea. Then I grabbed my yoga mat and set up in the courtyard for meditation and yoga. By the time I got going, I felt warmed up. Back to the room to change for breakfast with the group at 8am.

Breakfast was omelets with cheese and fresh zucchini, beans and fresh fruit. Wonderful food here so far. Jeff and I sat in the rocking chairs on the porch of the kitchen and visited with others for a bit. The sun was up (we’re in a valley so the sun disappears early and arrives late) and it was starting to warm up. I walked around the grounds a bit taking in all the amazing flowers and plants in our compound - breathtaking!

At 9am we gathered on the porch for Dave to tell us some history of Guatemala and Mission Guatemala. Here is my best recap:

Guatemala is a very poor country and the economy relies heavily on agriculture. It is also a very unequal society, but is steadily improving in healthcare and literacy rates.

The Mayans had been here since the beginning of time, and had a very sophisticated civilization before this area was discovered (conquered) by the Spanish. Just as we learned in Peru, the natives were murdered and enslaved, and many died after being exposed to western diseases. In Guatemala, there is still a mindset of the Mayans being a substandard class of people. Dave reported research has shown that because they were stronger than the average person, many whites people claimed that was “proof” they’re animals, not human.

Centuries of exploitation continue to this day with examples of forced labor on coffee and sugar plantations as well as highway work for the government. A thirty-six year civil war ended in 1996, with natives fighting for equality. Because of anti-insurrection tactics from parties outside of Guatemala, there is still a lot of trauma and mistrust among the Mayan people. Today, there are 21 different Mayan communities in Guatemala making up about 51% of the country’s population.

Dave’s description of the “hope” of the Mayan people differed from some of what Daniel said in the van yesterday, but of course their perspectives would be very different. Dave told us the country is very hopeful that the new president, elected last year, can reform the government from its former corrupt ways. Daniel said not much has changed, but those things would take time.

Mission Guatemala was founded in September 2010 by United Methodist pastor Tom Heaton, with the original mission of operating a small medical clinic to serve the people in San Andres and surrounding communities. Tom and his wife had adopted two boys from Guatemala and they travelled here often to try to keep their sons engaged in the culture. Dave said Tom tells a hysterical story about packing their van with household items and driving from Indiana, through Mexico to Guatemala (not recommended).

Today, the clinic serves thousands of patients every month and the mission of MG has been expanded to include:

operating a dental clinic

In partnership with another non-profit, provides pre-school education for the community

Runs two feeding programs providing 45,000 meals per year

Initiated a stove and clean water project

Hosts over 20 volunteer teams per year to work on projects in the communities

Works in part with 18 communities to help the residents realize their dreams

Dave moved from Florida to Guatemala in 2008, after working in HR for the state government left his soul feeling numb. He worked with a few other non-profits before meeting Tom and agreeing to help him with MG. He told the story of Sugar River UMC being the first church to come here to help with the mission. Tom had developed a website, and someone from the church found it and a partnership was born! Tom is back in the states now and mostly retired, and Dave is the man. He was humble in his description of what they’ve done and how they’ve done it. But for two white guys to integrate themselves into this culture, which you have to do to be trusted, it’s an amazing feat.

In 2014, MG bought the River House, where mission groups stay. I must say, this is the cushiest accommodation we’ve experienced on a mission trip! It was a former senior housing compound. Each apartment has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a small kitchen and sitting area. There is a separate large kitchen where our meals are prepared and served.

Next we walked to a spot above the river where a Mayan spiritual guide, Elma, led us through a ceremony. She told us about the Mayan calendar and that guides like her are keepers of time, and help connect participants with nature, ancestors and the universe, and help to balance the energies of people. Most amazing to me was when she chanted in her native language, the sounds of which I’d have no chance of making on my own! We participated by dropping wood, candles, seeds and corn into the fire - offering a prayer or a wish for something each time as she led us through the different spirits and energies.

We’d been sitting in the sun and it felt fantastic after being on the cool side yesterday and this morning. Beside probably having a bit of sunburn in some spots now, I’ve already got bites from no-see-ums … bound to happen to me!

After the ceremony, six of us loaded into two Tuk-tuks, the others in the open bed of Dave’s truck and headed into Panajachel for lunch and our first glimpse of town. We’d preordered lunch and they had it ready for us at Mister Jon’s - a hamburger - taco joint that is owned by an American with a Japanese wife (who owns a local sushi bar). Lunch was great and it gave us a chance to chat with our teammates and Dave a little more.

After lunch, some of the group went shopping, some were going hiking and possibly zip-lining, some went back, but Jeff and I walked to a sports bar I’d seen hoping to watch the Packer game. We walked into the bar with one large TV and it had a soccer game on. The bartender was willing to change the channel, and found two games, but not the Packer-Bear game. So we had a beer and watched the Tampa Bay - Saints game instead. We were just about to leave when six of our teammates came in with loaded shopping bags, so we stayed awhile longer before walking the 1.5 miles back to the River House. The walk was slightly treacherous mainly because of scarce sidewalks and crazy drivers, although it was mostly motorcycles, Tuk-tuks and several “Chicken Buses.” The shops and dwellings were pretty run down and junky, but it didn’t feel unsafe … just the low standard of living I think.

Back to our room, I used the WiFi to watch the Packer game overview, didn’t look great. The Viking-Lion game is tonight and we’ll have to check that out on our phones, not heading back to town tonight!

Before dinner, Dave invited a family to come and sell Guatemalan goods to us. It’s a dad and his 5 kids, the mom died a year ago. The older kids go to an English immersion school and like to meet the team members to practice English! They were darling, and the goods were pretty inexpensive, so it was fun to interact with them. I bought a small table cloth, a backpack handbag, and Jeff bought a shirt.

Another nice dinner. It’s really a great group. Looking forward to getting to work tomorrow. I’m going to post this, play a little backgammon and get a good nights sleep!

[pranalip]

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[croservices]

Why CLINICAL RESEARCH ORGANIZATION Succeeds

1. Clinical research organizations are on the rise

The number of clinical research organizations (CROs) is on the rise. This is due to the fact that these organizations offer a number of advantages to pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies. First and foremost, CROs can help to reduce the cost of clinical trials. These organizations have the staff and the infrastructure in place to conduct clinical trials efficiently and effectively. In addition, CROs have access to a large pool of potential subjects, which can help to speed up the process of conducting clinical trials.

Another advantage of working with a CRO is that they can help to manage the regulatory process. Many CROs have staff who are experienced in dealing with the FDA and other regulatory bodies. This can be a valuable resource for companies who are new to the clinical trial process.

Finally, CROs can provide a number of other services, such as data management and analysis, that can be invaluable to companies conducting clinical trials.

There are a number of reasons why clinical research organizations are on the rise. These organizations offer a number of advantages that can be extremely helpful to pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies. If you are considering conducting a clinical trial, you should definitely consider working with a CRO.

2. Why clinical research organizations are succeeding

The clinical research industry is booming. In the United States alone, the industry is worth an estimated $60 billion. This is due in large part to the success of clinical research organizations (CROs).

CROs are third-party companies that contract with pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies to conduct clinical trials. These trials are essential for getting new drugs and treatments approved by the FDA.

The success of CROs is largely due to their expertise in conducting clinical trials. They have the staff and resources to manage all aspects of a trial, from recruiting patients to conducting the research to analyzing the data.

CROs also have a financial incentive to see trials succeed. They are typically paid based on the success of the trial, so they have a vested interest in making sure the trial goes as smoothly as possible.

The success of CROs has led to a boom in the clinical research industry. Pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies are increasingly relying on CROs to conduct their clinical trials. This is good news for patients, as it means that new treatments and cures are being developed at an accelerated pace.

3. The benefits of clinical research organization

A clinical research organization (CRO) is a service provider that contracts with pharmaceutical, biotechnology, and medical device companies to provide support for all phases of clinical research. A CRO may provide scientific, medical, and operational expertise to its clients. Services performed by a CRO may include laboratory services, project management, data management, site monitoring, and regulatory compliance.

The use of CROs has become increasingly popular as drug development costs have soared and the number of new drug approvals has declined. Pharmaceutical companies are under pressure to reduce costs and improve efficiencies in drug development. CROs can provide expertise and services that allow companies to outsource some or all of the clinical research process.

CROs can offer a number of benefits to pharmaceutical companies. They can provide access to a global network of investigators and sites, as well as expertise in a wide range of therapeutic areas. CROs can also help companies to optimize their clinical development programs and improve their chances of success.

CROs are an important part of the clinical research ecosystem and play a vital role in the development of new therapies Clinical Research Organization.

4. The future of clinical research organization

The clinical research organization (CRO) industry is expected to grow at a compound annual rate of 8.6 percent from 2016 to 2021, according to a report by MarketandMarkets. The report cites several factors driving this growth, including an increase in the number of clinical trials being conducted globally, the outsourcing of clinical research by pharmaceutical and biotechnology companies, and the need for cost-effective clinical trial management.

The future looks bright for CROs, but there are some challenges that need to be addressed in order to sustain this growth. One of the biggest challenges is the increasing complexity of clinical trials. As treatments become more personalized and targeted, clinical trials are becoming more complex, which can lead to higher costs and longer timelines. CROs need to find ways to streamline their operations and increase efficiencies in order to keep costs down and maintain their competitive edge.

In addition, the traditional business model of CROs is under pressure as pharmaceutical companies look for ways to cut costs. Many pharmaceutical companies are now establishing in-house clinical research capabilities, which could lead to a decline in the demand for CROs. CROs will need to adapt their business models to stay relevant in the changing marketplace.

Despite these challenges, the future looks bright for CROs. The industry is expected to continue to grow at a healthy clip in the coming years, driven by the increasing global demand for clinical research services. CROs that can adapt to the changing marketplace and address the challenges facing the industry will be well positioned for success in the years ahead.

[narse-tantalus]

Since I just saw a post on the same blog about countering the spread of misinformation using the SIFT method I'm going to apply it here.

Stop

Is this post provoking an emotional response? Yes

Is it trying to? Also yes.

What do I already know about the source? Twitter screenshots on Tumblr are unreliable. I know nothing about the linked pmc19.com but it doesn't look like a government or university website url.

Investigate (The Source)

What can you find about the author/website creators?

the link to pmc19.com/data resolves, and that website does seem to be the source of these claims, although the current numbers are slightly off those reported in the tweets, likely because we're a week later.

pmc19.com links to a PDF with "Background on Dr. Hoerger and the PMC". There they discuss how Dr. Hoerger (who claims copyright of the webpage at the bottom) is trained in clinical psychology, has taught and was doing an MBA in 2019 on strategic management. It claims he's "an expert in personality, emotions, and affective decision science..." and mentions he did a masters degree wich involved a lot of stuff... And also epidemiology.

The PMC is apparently "The Pandemic Mitigation Collaborative" with unnamed members who have " led many projects to keep people safer during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic." and "The PMC dashboard is cited in grant applications, including at least two grants already funded. It has been cited by trusted organizations like the People’s CDC, news outlets, and scientific journals, including several papers published in JAMA journals."

Which really sounds like they think I should trust them at least as much as I trust people who write grants, and/or "The People's CDC" -- this makes me think they are unlikely to be an accurate source.

Here's Dr. Hoerger's bio at Louisiana Cancer research center:

https://www.louisianacancercenter.org/people/michael-hoerger-phd

It says "Dr. Hoerger conducts psychosocial research to reduce the emotional and physical burden of serious illnesses. Dr. Hoerger is an international expert in psychosocial oncology as well as pandemic mitigation." And the lists a bunch of psychology stuff. Literally never mentions pandemics again. If he's an "international expert in pandemic mitigation" a) I'd expect him to work somewhere other than a Cancer center b) I'd expect his bio to mention his pandemic mitigation work. Maybe he's new to all this pandemic stuff? He certainly doesn't claim to be an epidemiologist on the pmc website, just to have worked on a project that involves it.

When I google "The Pandemic Mitigation Collaborative" the second result is this webpage which questions their methodology and suggests that their model is incapable of making accurate predictions -- claiming it's always going to be biased towards whatever happened on the same dates last year -- both low and high. (I'm summarizing and interpreting a huge amount here,so read it yourself, and the source is just a blog post so not intrinsically more credible...) But it is note worthy that the main 3rd party discussion of this organization is someone questioning the utility of their predictions.

https://buttondown.com/abbycartus/archive/we-need-to-talk-about-the-pandemic-mitigation/

What is their mission? Do they have vested interests? Would their assessment be biased?

Their mission seems to be to "track" or predict cases of covid -- but like better than the real CDC and epidemiologists. Presumably this is born out of concern for immunocompromised individuals, or boredom, or needing a project for a Strategic Management MBA, or distrust of Official Sources.

They appear to have a vested interest in pandemic mitigation, and therefore alarmism and possibly in not agreeing with official sources. Their assessment may well be biased!

Do they have authority in the Area?

No. They mention precisely 0 epidemiologists working for or with them. I don't see a reason to trust their models more than my physics grad student friends who made pandemic models on a lark in 2020.

Find Better Coverage

The official CDC (Centers for Disease Control) webpage on Covid data is here:

https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#datatracker-home

It indicates lower numbers than last year for everything they track, numbers that are kind of ticking up in recent weeks, but numbers that are forecast (if I'm reading that right) to reach a smaller peak than in prior years.

Notably the CDC is not making any directly comparable claims about number of people infected or infectious. Or how many might be infected next month. I believe this is because these are fundamentally unknowable from the data they have, and that speculating on them would be irresponsible for public communicators of science. Sure, one could create models that predict those numbers, but publishing the results to the public without context on the uncertainties of the models would be irresponsible since people might make life or death decisions like wearing a mask or getting a vaccine based on those bad predictions. Or they might just rage at people online who disagree with them. Idk, I'm not a science communicator.

Don't trust the CDC? Tough. The New York Times ended their own covid tracking in 2023 saying:

After more than three years of daily reporting of coronavirus data in the United States, The New York Times is ending its Covid-19 data-gathering operation. The Times will continue to publish virus data from the federal government weekly on a new set of tracking pages, but this page will no longer be updated.

This change was spurred by the declining availability of virus data from state and local health officials. Since few states report more than once a week (and some no longer report data to the public at all), the weekly data reports from the C.D.C. have become the most reliable source of information on the virus’s spread.

There new webpage is here and it was last updated in March 2024, it says:

These Covid tracking pages are no longer being updated. Get the latest information from the Centers for Disease Control, or find archived data from The Times’s three year reporting effort here.

John's Hopkins University has this to say:

On March 10, 2023, the Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center ceased collecting and reporting of global COVID-19 data. For updated cases, deaths, and vaccine data please visit the following sources: Global: World Health Organization (WHO) U.S.: U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

So yeah, reputable sources have stopped caring and link you to the CDC as the place to get your info.

Trace Claims, Quotes, and Media to their Original Context

The pmc19.com website does appear to be the original context for these claims. Thank you OP for linking that.

My Verdict:

These claims are misinformation. Specifically they claim numbers that are based on a model that was not created by subject matter experts, that disagrees with the trends reported by the CDC and it's epidemiologists. Either government employed epidemiologists are wrong and no university epidemiologists want to call them out on it... Or the PMC is wrong. Since they aren't epidemiologists... They're probably wrong. Moreover: If you don't trust the CDC you shouldn't The PMC because in their technical apendix they claim to use CDC data to make their projections. The only way the PMC could be right is if all other epidemiologists are wrong about the COVID pandemic and how to interpret wastewater and hospitalization data.

The PMC and Dr. Hoerger are engaging in academic sounding BS. They have incentives to be alarmist and fear monger, and don't seem to care or understand that they're using a model that probably doesn't have predictive value.

Data source: https://pmc19.com/data/

[bestreasonstowriterecordreviews]

Yea, we’re headed out with our wallets open in the wind this weekend too. But as we did previously in 2016 and 2015, we suggest, if you’re comfortable enough as a vagabond of the western world, please consider donating a fraction of this week’s discretionary income to one of the worthy organizations listed below…that way, when you scroll your uglies into Fuckin’ Record Reviews’ BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2017 and revisit BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2016, BEST REASONS TO WRITE FUCKIN’ RECORD REVIEWS IN 2015 and 2014 and 2013, you won’t feel as bad about yourself as you normally do. Someone, somewhere will give thanks.  Thanks!

Fuckin’ Record Reviews endorses the agendas of the following organizations, each of which includes localized links after the respective jump:

BATTLE FOR NET NEUTRALITY: Imagine you’d have to pay extra for access to Fuckin’ Record Reviews! Egads!!! “Net neutrality is the principle that Internet providers like Comcast & Verizon should not control what we see and do online. In 2015, startups, Internet freedom groups, and 3.7 million commenters won strong net neutrality rules from the US Federal Communication Commission (FCC). The rules prohibit Internet providers from blocking, throttling, and paid prioritization—"fast lanes" for sites that pay, and slow lanes for everyone else.”

SAVE DACA LIVES via HERE TO STAY:  “On September 5th, Donald Trump ended any renewals and new applications for the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program, taking away work permits and deportation protection from almost 1 million immigrant youth. Congress must pass a clean Dream Act before going home in December! Tweet these stories to Speaker Paul Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and demand a clean Dream Act by December 2017.

COALITION TO STOP GUN VIOLENCE: “CSGV’s guiding principle is simple. We believe that all Americans have a right to live in communities free from gun violence.”

SECULAR COALITION OF AMERICA: “Our mission is to increase the visibility of and respect for nontheistic viewpoints in the United States, and to protect and strengthen the secular character of our government as the best guarantee of freedom for all.”

NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS: “What started as a small group of families gathered around a kitchen table in 1979 has blossomed into the nation’s leading voice on mental health. Today, we are an association of hundreds of local affiliates, state organizations and volunteers who work in your community to raise awareness and provide support and education that was not previously available to those in need.”

PLANNED PARENTHOOD: “In October 2016, Planned Parenthood turned 100 years strong. Planned Parenthood was founded on the revolutionary idea that women should have the information and care they need to live strong, healthy lives and fulfill their dreams — no ceilings, no limits. Learn more about how 100 years of care, education, and activism have changed everything. Today, Planned Parenthood is a trusted health care provider, an informed educator, a passionate advocate, and a global partner helping similar organizations around the world. Planned Parenthood delivers vital reproductive health care, sex education, and information to millions of women, men, and young people worldwide.”

CLINIC VEST PROJECT: “The mission of the Clinic Vest Project is to provide FREE clinic escort vests to groups that service facilities that support the full range of reproductive health options including safe and legal abortion.”

U.S. COMMITTEE FOR REFUGEES AND IMMIGRANTS (USCRI): “For over 100 years, we have advanced the rights and lives of those who have lost or left their homes. We believe we have a shared responsibility to clear obstacles and uncover opportunities for people everywhere. So, when lives are uprooted by force or by choice, we fight alongside those on the path to independence.”

THE TREVOR PROJECT: “The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24.”

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION (ACLU): “The ACLU is non-profit and non-partisan. We do not receive any government funding. Member dues and contributions and grants from private foundations and individuals pay for the work we do. The ACLU, with headquarters in New York City, litigates across the nation and all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. Our Washington, D.C., legislative office lobbies the U.S. Congress. We use strategic communications to educate the public about issues. And the ACLU has expanded its reach by applying international human rights standards in our complex Post 9/11 world. A number of national projects address specific civil liberties issues: AIDS, capital punishment, lesbian and gay rights, immigrants’ rights, prisoners’ rights, reproductive freedom, voting rights, women’s rights and workplace rights.”

NATIONAL ABORTION AND REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS ACTION LEAGUE (NARAL PRO-CHOICE AMERICA): “NARAL Pro-Choice America uses numerous tactics to lobby for liberalized access to abortion, both in the U.S. and elsewhere. It sponsors lawsuits against governments and hospitals, donates money to politicians supportive of abortion rights through its political action committee, and organizes its members to contact members of Congress and urge them to support NARAL’s positions.”

THE JEREMY WILSON FOUNDATION MUSICIANS’ EMERGENCY HEALTHCARE FUND: “…a safety net for musicians and their families when facing debilitating medical crisis. The JWF creates better access to resources and information to help improve the state of musicians’ health and healthcare, and, in turn, their careers and financial and overall well-being.”

SOUTHERN POVERTY LAW CENTER: “Your gift will help win justice on behalf of those who have no other champion, expose and fight the hate that thrives in our country, and provide tolerance education materials free of charge to schools across our nation.”

NATIONAL NETWORK OF ABORTION FUNDS: “The National Network of Abortion Funds works to make sure that all people can get the abortions they seek. If you are seeking help paying for an abortion, we are here today to help you get what you need. The local abortion funds in our organization help people pay for abortions they can’t otherwise afford.”

EMILY’S LIST: “We elect pro-choice Democratic women to office.”

BRADY CAMPAIGN TO PREVENT GUN VIOLENCE: “The mission of the Brady organization is to create a safer America for all of us that will lead to a dramatic reduction in gun deaths and injuries. Of the 32,000 people who die from gun violence in this country each year, how many could be saved? Brady has announced the bold goal to cut the number of U.S. gun deaths in half by 2025, based on an innovative and exciting strategy that centers on the idea of keeping guns out of the wrong hands through three impact-driven, broadly engaging campaigns: (1) a policy focus to “Finish the Job” so that life-saving Brady background checks are applied to all gun sales; (2) to “Stop ‘Bad Apple’ Gun Dealers” – the 5 percent of gun dealers that supply 90 percent of all crime guns; and (3) to lead a new national conversation and change social norms around the real dangers of guns in the home, to prevent the homicides, suicides, and unintentional shootings that happen every day as a result.”

WFMU: the premier “…listener-supported, non-commercial radio station broadcasting at 91.1 Mhz FM in Jersey City, NJ, right across the Hudson from lower Manhattan. It is currently the longest running freeform radio station in the United States.”

[knitmeapainting]

Please ignore the absolute train wreck of a desk and simply enjoy these little journals that I am making to give away in return for donations to the clinic vest project at a party this weekend! The party is called waking the witch so everything has 13 sheets/26 pages.

Clearance scrapbooking cardstock for the outside, thrift store resume paper for the inside, and a simple five hole pamphlet stitch. Plus I got to play with my new window making punch and corner rounder.

[vroooom2]

Mudge and I think that Thermotrauma founders should pitch their product to Google ATAP to embed connectivity into the life saving fabric:

They can ask Halvar for help, his first start-up was acquired by Eric Schmidt, and he's now friend with Sundar Pichai.

Thermotrauma life saving vest is the best device to collect body temperature data for:

For those who don't know: Googlers can spend 20% of their working time on developing any side projects they want. If you have a start-up, the key is to be introduced to one of them and get your way to achieve your goal.

Googlers are smart people, and it's always super interesting to work with them, as they're very fast thinkers and doers. They have the best reputation in the U.S., they're the cream of the crop of high skilled employees.

Bonus: the free catering is great (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, drinks).

N.B.: this post isn't sponsored by Google, we just share our tip on how to have a big impact in the world, and grow revenue to create employment, with the best infrastructure for Thermotrauma, that will also secure their product. You can thank Halvar for Google security innovation, his acquired start-up led to Google Project Zero (& TAG - Threat Analysis Group), one of the best cybersecurity team in the world.

A product like Thermotrauma, shouldn't stay within the French borders, we all see the impact it can have around the world: armies, NGOs, hospitals, clinics, ocean lifeguards, firefighters, etc.

It just depends on the founders' ambition. Do they want to be useful for the societies?

If yes, they can't solely rely on the French market, Americans are the best to scale-up an idea/prototype to the rest of the world, look at their soft power, hard power, businesses, charities.

If no, the worst case scenario: an American will soon steal their idea, and make profit for their own benefits, instead of the founders' initial intention: the public interest.

Don't underestimate how the smallest decisions can compound into significant differences over a lifetime.

[impyssadobsessions]

The rain was pouring down heavily, making it impossible to see more than a few feet in front of you. Gotham being eerily silent as the raging storm drowned any life from the dark city. A man tugged at the red hooded vest he worse, trying to make it cover his head better. Wind was threatening to blow it down. Rain dripped off his arms as he stepped quietly through the soaked ally. He stopped and knelt down at the two bodies laying face down on the ground. Obviously they had tried and failed to mug someone, the water around the knife one of them held was a little too dark in color. He checked their pulse, snorting. Whoever kicked their asses should have done it harder. Eyes masked by a white lens domino mask, caught movement in the distance. Red Hood stood back up, cautiously. He waited a moment. Something told him the figure didn't go far. In fact, they were hiding. Slowly he stepped past the two men on the ground, making sure to step on them once or twice.

He stopped when he was certain he heard a muffled cursed. Green lights reflecting in the puddles of the ally, dark smears on the trash cans. He could barely see the shape of the figure in the reflection of the water. His fist clenched as there was no mistaking the small frame and the bright eyes on the boy's face. This was a kid. Teenager. A badly injured one. Red Hood crouched, though still prepared to move if need be. “Hey, kid. I know yer there. I'm not here to hurt ya.” Watching the reflection, the eyes seemed to narrow in suspicion. They stayed deathly quiet.

Fair. Red Hood didn't have the best reputation, and even if they didn't know who he was.. he was sure the outfit didn't help make him look like a guardian angel either.

“Here, I'm going to take out my first aid. Okay? Grab what you need.” Hood slowly unhook the pocket from his belt that contained the first aid. It wasn't much, but for knife wounds it should be plenty. Luckily it doesn't look like the kid was bleeding to death, but they seemed pretty tired. He tossed the pocket close to the kid's hiding spot, keeping his distance. The pocket disrupted the puddle making it hard to see the kid, but the movement was recognizable. The kid had flinched away from it. Hood blew air from his lips to keep his anger down. Seeing the teen so hurt and skittish boiled his blood, but not keeping himself in control would only make it harder to help the kid. After a silent moment, the kid wasn't moving.. but Hood could see his reflection again. He wasn't slumped over either, but curled into himself. Then.. it hit him. The kid was watching his reflection back. Red Hood raised his hands and slowly stood up. “Just take whatever you need from it, then go to the clinic down the street-” “Don't move.” The voice of the kid was firm, if it didn't sound young Hood might have thought it was a threat. Red Hood waited as a hand reached out for the pouch. It flicked the pouch pocket open, making sure the opening faced away from him when he did so. The caution and wariness of even opening a pocket, made him frown under his mask. Kid was not just some random teen in wrong place wrong time.. He's been fucked over more than once to be paranoid enough to suspect gas trap.

The kid emptied the pocket, before tossing it back Hood's way. The teen aiming it specifically so it didn't disrupt the puddle, but bounced and skidded next to Hood's feet. Watching the teen's reflection, he saw how quick the kid was trying to bandage up his wounds. “Shi-” Red Hood raised a brow under his mask, shifting forward out of instinct to help the kid. “I said don't move.” The voice hissed, almost covering the waver in his voice. Almost. Red Hood could see blue eyes glaring at his direction. He stayed still to please the kid, keeping keen of his own surroundings. The kid stayed frozen for a moment to make certain he kept his word, before going back to wrap his wound. This time, the teen was wrapping himself slowly. His eyes staying on the puddle, until it was time to rip the bandage. “How ya doing now, kid?” Hood asked after a moment of silence. The teen didn't respond. “Look, I don't have time for this. If you don't want to be caught, that's fine. I'm the last person to judge, but if your bleeding, we need to get you to a medic.” Red Hood gritted his teeth. “I'm fine.” Red Hood clicked his teeth, aggravated. “Maybe now-” “Thanks, but I'll take my chances.” Red Hood quickly stood up as the teen had taken one of the ointments that fell out of the pocket and tossed it into the puddle. He shielded his face from the water, then move to run over where the boy was. The boy was gone. He didn't even make a sound. Where could he have-Red Hood stepped out of the street to see if he could catch a trace of him. Nothing. Dammit! Red Hood kicked the trash can, watching it as it rolled over the thugs that were still knocked out cold. He stood fist clenched as the rain poured harder down on him. He had to hope the kid was true to his word. Still for him to disappear like that-wait. Red Hood narrowed his eyes at the ground, as he replayed the scene. His back turned on where the black-hair teen used to be. He glanced back at the spot. The vigilante walked over to tie up the thugs. A gnawing feeling still itching on his back. He took out his grappling hook, and shot up at the rooftop. Out of sight. --- The black-hair teen sighed in relief after waiting twenty minutes. His body popping back into existence. His hand over his gut as he stared at the vigilante's handy work. “That was close.-argh!” The teen hissed as he curled in pain. This wasn't looking good. A knife wound like that should have been healed by now. “Done it now Danny. Tch.” Danny shook his head as he used the wall to push himself back on his feet. He needed to get out of there.. He would fly, but with how long its taking to heal this gash in his side, he doubt that would end well. Ever since entering this city, something weird was going on with his powers. He can only hope its not permanent. Now, which way to get back to base? Danny's blue eyes dimly glowing through the heavy rain. Without anyway to tell, Danny blindly ran right once out of the ally way. He hoped to at least find somewhere dry to stay the night. One good thing going for him. Just one. That's all he was asking. Unaware that he was being watched. Red Hood clicked off the zoom feature on his mask, giving a heavy frown. He knew there must have been something strange about the kid. “A meta too.” Now he absolutely had to track this kid down. At least before Batman and the others, and possibly whoever this kid was avoiding being caught by.

[drakonfire12]

Ways to help Ukraine...

This is part of my larger post on the war where you can find various posts and sources on various topics. [Table of Contents here] 

Quick List:

Songs whose YouTube revenue goes to Ukraine 

Together with Ukraine - songs whose revenue goes to Ukraine

Though MS Rewards or Give with Bing [see my post for how-to]

Donate to the United24 initiative - various fundraising projects

“Project Ukraine” Historytube YT revenues that goes to humanitarian aid to Ukraine through the Babyn Yar Holocaust Memorial Centre

Come Back Alive / Повернись живим (helps the army)

Serhiy Prytula / Сергій Притула’s charity foundation (2 choices: military or humanitarian aid)

Donate to help rebuild Irpin (for example their Paypal: dobrorad.irpin@gmail.com)

Ukraine-helpers (various purposes)

forPEACE (local and a range of activities)

UhelpUkraine [Canada] - humanitarian aid drop locations, but also doing a crowdfund for a Bayraktar drone

Repair Together (volunteers helping restore damage done to communities) (Paypal: repairukraine@gmail.com) (their links)

Longer List:

(1a) How to help:

United24 (UA gov’t)

NEST - temporary mobile homes for Ukrainians

YouTube Revenue of Songs that goes to Humanitarian Aid to Ukraine (with helpful replies) [my post with additions replies] [my spreadsheet]

Someone’s earlier post of ways to donate to Roma refugees from Ukraine

Charities listed by Miraculers for Ukraine with more information [list of posts]

Defend Ukraine - verified ways to donate. With help of HIGHGATE with the support of the Ukrainian diaspora in the US, EU and UK.

Ukraine-helpers (various purposes)

Repair Together (volunteers helping restore damage done to communities) (Paypal: repairukraine@gmail.com) (their links)

how to help women list of charities [link]

helping queer people from the three countries [link]

list of ways to support the LGBT+ [link to list]

Diaspora Organizations [my post]

(1b) How to Help (for convenience, organization links are taken from the above posts):

Various purposes:

United24

Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal [Canada-based]. Latest one is for Okhmatdyt Children’s Hospital.

Music Saves UA: Ukrainian Association of Music Events to provide immediate humanitarian help

Fight for Rights: Ukrainian People With Disabilities in Crisis [Ukraine-based]

Unite With Ukraine (diaspora organization helps with medical and army supplies)

Razom for Ukraine (US-based. Medical supplies)

Babyn Yar Holocaust Memorial Center &   Memory Foundation “Babyn Yar" (humanitarian aid and evacuations of people and cultural artifacts).

Choven/Lifeboat - “ provides bulletproof vests, tourniquets and other equipment to hot spots”

Rocky Mountain Aid - tourniquets, psychological help...

NGO Heroiam Slava - for Ukrainian soldiers, drones, and humanitarian aid.

KHARPP - rebuilds homes, generators, Starlink.....

Soldiers/Army:

Come Back Alive / Повернись живим (helps the army) [eng]

Blue/Yellow for Ukraine (Lithuania. “Aid is provided to the soldiers, volunteers and territorial defense.”)

Dzyja’s Paws - radios, drones, mine probes, Starlink terminals...

Wild hornets - drones (& PayPal: donate@svoboda-ukrainy.com)

Zemliachka / Землячки - supplies for female soldiers: shoes, underwear, hygiene products... (& PayPal: zemlyachky@gmail.com)

DrukArmiia /3D Print Army - 3D printing parts for the army (includes suggestions for printer and educational resources. Site languages: Ukrainian, English, Polish and German). PayPal: paypal@drukarmy.org.ua

Medical Aid:

Leleka Foundation (medical aid)

Hospitallers - volunteer paramedics.

The Center of Cardiac and Vascular Surgery at Lviv Regional Clinical Hospital  

Superhuman Centre - rehab, surgeries, prosthetics...

UNBROKEN - rehab, prosthetics

Okhmatdyt’s fund for Rare Diseases - for their children’s hospital. (Yes the one that got bombed)

Força Foundation - training for Ukrainian medical staff [x][Instagram][Linktree]

EveryoneCan - helps disabled people, the elderly, and hospitals

ГО "Життя Переможе"/ GoLifeGo - hemostatic bandages

Humanitarian aid:

World Central Kitchen (humanitarian aid to refugees)  

Help Ukraine Center [Poland-based]

Together with Ukraine - songs whose revenue goes to Ukraine [goes to Ukrainian Red Cross Society]

Starenki - help for elderly people

Help for Journalists:

24.02 Fund - supporting: Journalism Emergency Fund for Ukraine

Help for refugees:

Допомога українським біженцям в Болгарії/Помощ за украинските бежанци    

Hire for Ukraine (posting jobs for Ukrainian refugees, Ukrainians post their qualifications...)

Animal Rescue:

UAnimals (humanitarian aid to animals)

NOR DOG Animal Rescue - help animals on frontlines.

“Domivka” animal shelter in L’viv. 

(1c) People raising money:

Serhiy Prytula / Сергій Притула’s charity foundation (can choose either military or humanitarian aid). Check his Insta or Fb to see some of what he’s already done.

Anastasiia Lapatina’s mom, Iryna (PayPal: lapatina2702@gmail.com) brings humanitarian aid (clothes, food, medicine) to soldiers, kids, elderly, animals. [Tweet thread]

Timur Aliev and team - evacuations, humanitarian aid in Kharkiv (PayPal: Timuraliev988998@gmail.com) 

ZSUAngel on Twitter - helps army (PayPal: eurodekor7144773@ukr.net)

Brandon Mitchell - paramedic essentially (PayPal ukrainetbic@gmail.com)

Other options: Ukrainian YouTubers constantly running fundraisers (usually for the army)

BIHUS.info (journalists)

Farid Hovoryt’ (also TV newscaster and has a YouTube channel)

BAKAI

Geek Journal (now in the army)

Real’na istoriia 

Serhii Peichev

[pyramultimuse]

Jack's gaze towards the holo-monitor projecting from his hightech desk was like steel, but his two-toned eyes were filled with rage as he watched the recruit take a beating. When he himself was an intern, a young tech guy, this same thing happened if he outshined any of his coworkers that were above him. An incredibly toxic work environment. But now, he was at the top.

"What am I doing?" He glanced over to Rhys. "I'm standing up for the little guy, that's what heros do." Jack reassured the intern and started typing after the footage was done and brought up live cameras to find where Russel and the other two were currently. A microphone came out from a compartment of his desk and he grabbed it so he could talk to them over the speaker.

"Hey you, in the ugly green vest. Russel is it? This is your boss Handsome Jack. Did you think you'd get away with beating up the intern that did what none of you could do? He is a very important asset to Hyperion, unlike you three." He spoke into the microphone and pressed another button, on the other end Russel could be heard pleading for forgiveness to whatever Jack had activated. "I just wanted to let you know personally that this behavior will not be tolerated and that your fired."

As soon as he finished his sentence, the loader bots he had sent to Russel's location open fired on the three men. He smirked and quickly cut the feed so his guest wouldn't have to listen to the blood curdling screams of the dying men. The microphone dropped back into the desk and Jack's attention went back to the young man trying to hide his shame from how he had been unable to defend himself in the fight.

"It's okay Rhys, not everyone is a natural fighter. You just need some upgrades." Jack sat back and clapped his hands together. "Looks like there's a new position open in your department! Its all yours if you want, after you take a medical leave to heal up of course. I'll have my personal doctors take care of you, those guys down in the clinic are quacks. Now that's all taken care of, we can get to why I invited you to my office in the first place."

The CEO got up from his desk and came over to sit beside Rhys. "You are a very smart young man. Incredible potential! I would very much like to take you under my wing, be my underling to mentor. Once in a lifetime opportunity, kiddo. But thats just what I want. I still need to reward you for what you've done for this company and me personally. Just between you and me: this eridum you acquired is going to save my daughter's life. You're my hero Rhys." Jack said with a genuine and charming smile towards the young man at his side. "So what do you want? Anything at all, you just name it and I'll make it happen."

Never in Rhys' wildest dreams did he ever picture Handsome Jack praising him like this, especially not when he looked like absolute hell. The further he walks in, the more Jack keeps talking, and by the time Rhys is standing directly in front of him, he's not sure whether to play it cool or act as smugly as he's sure any other Hyperion stooge would.

Fortunately, the decision becomes unimportant in the end, because it ends up more pressing to ask a confused, "'Take care' of them?"

Rhys is obedient, as any good employee is, as he's led to sit down. Even as Jack moves around to pull up security footage, Rhys stays rooted to the spot, the ice pack still pressed to his eye and his head tilted in question.

"I'm grateful for the recognition, sir. I mean, I'm happy doing anything for the company, and for you especially. But what're you doing--"

He hears the voice of his supposed work mentor over the speakers, and the sound of it makes him blink once. The audio feed from the video Jack's currently playing is a little garbled from the static, but nevertheless familiar. Rhys' mentor, a weaselly bastard named Russell, says something along the lines of I heard what you did on Pandora. And Rhys remembers what he said in turn, hears it from the video-- I was hoping you would, he'd said, cheeky as ever, you proud of me, sir?-- and hears Russell's answering laugh and his request for Rhys to follow him.

"Jack? You don't have to watch this." Rhys laughs. "C'mon..."

Because it all plays out exactly as expected. In the video, Rhys is led to a conference room, where Russell and two others from the department start beating down on him, berating him all the while for cutting a deal without them and "disrespecting authority". It's humiliating listening to it happen; Rhys wonders if Jack can see how he'd tried to fight back and failed to land a punch, anyway. Each time he was knocked over, Rhys had tried to get up, but then he'd either been shoved, kicked, or punched back down. Sure, he hadn't cowered even once, hadn't even curled up into a ball, but it doesn't stop shame from filling him at how useless he'd been.

With a sigh, Rhys presses his ice pack to both his eyes to shield them from Jack's gaze.

[aschlindartroom]

Three Photo Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @tryingtimi! Love stuff like this.

Rules: Find 3 photos/images (they can be anything at all, memes, vintage photographs, quotes, anything) that you feel describe your wip. If you want, you can tell a little bit your story, too. You can do it with or without the context.

Second Serpent: Bird & Fish

Small excerpt below the cut.

In the darkness, a familiar, metallic scent stung at her senses. Blood. Old.

A tunnel walled from top to bottom in tile stood before them. Clinical white surfaces now held the grey pallor of dust, the mark of years resting over long-dried streaks of blood and decay. Bodies, now skeletons, were scattered along the corridor. Clothes clung to the bones—the sterile suits of doctors, the flimsy dressing gowns of the sick. Some wore protective vests, Schmidt & Foster issue, heavy and falling off of what remained of them. No cannon residue, no marks from knives or other melee weaponry, no holes where fabric or armor may have been punctured. The ones who carried guns had not drawn them.

Seung stepped lightly over the ground, moving to catch up to Rhen and Antoni. The two were not surprised, moving through the corridor.

“What happened here?” Seung asked. She noted the patterns of crimson, high arcs of arterial spray, flecks against the ceiling.

Rhen avoided Seung’s eyes. Antoni looked back at her with an odd smile. “Project Bloom happened,” he said. He pushed a gurney out of their path. The skeleton splayed on top of it hit the wall and rattled. Seung had never found the need to respect the dead—no dead man but her father, anyway—and didn’t start now. But she noted Antoni’s brazen countenance, coupled with Rhen’s quiet, and filed it away.

The tunnel was long—at least a mile, by Seung’s estimate. It sloped downward, crawling deeper into the earth. A pressure that was not just altitude began to build, a disquiet that felt both familiar and new, growing with each step. Seung slowed to a stop. Rhen and Antoni turned to look at her, halting their progress. Rhen’s ever-present smile was gone, replaced with cold resignation.

What she wouldn’t give, at times, to have Ehren’s insight.

“You haven’t brought me here for the view,” Seung said, gesturing to the bodies at their feet. Their numbers increased the farther down they went. Whatever had ended these people, it had taken advantage of the natural bottleneck. No way out but up.

[...]

“What is this place?” Seung asked.

“A very old Schmidt & Foster facility,” Rhen replied. “We think it predates the Spacebelt Catastrophe. It was abandoned. Project Bloom repurposed it and the resources left behind.”

“Project Bloom?”

Antoni stepped forward to cut them off. Rhen raised her hand, halting him. She did not look away from Seung. “An experimental trial in cast oil exposure, funded and sourced by the Liberation. Anecdotal evidence supported the hypothesis that cast oil exposure in certain quantities to certain people caused valuable mutations—the next step in evolutionary development.”

They weren’t her words—too practiced and concise. How many times had she rehearsed this explanation? How many times had she rattled off the words in broken mirrors, or heard them spoken in her presence?

Seung nodded further down the hall, where the door to a freight elevator loomed ominously. “Why was it blocked off?”

“A leak of cast oil aerosolized,” Rhen said. “The facility residents were already exposed, but they closed off the area to minimize the damage to the rest of New London.”

“How long?”

“Four years ago.”

Seung looked down at one of the skeletons by their feet, draped a patient’s gown covered in blood but long since dried. Empty eye sockets. She remembered H, the eruption of blood as his eyeballs had burst—the fat, pulsing worms that had pushed them out.

“These people didn’t just die of exposure.”

“Not just,” Rhen agreed. She took another step forward, careful. Seung stood her ground. “The airborne cast oil initiated a space-time anomaly. A crack into the void opened.” Rhen hesitated, considering her next words carefully. “Something came through.”

“Something,” Seung huffed.

“Part of something,” Rhen amended.

[catty-words]

“there was this moment last term where i thought maybe you liked me...”: an examination of maeve’s understanding of her relationship with otis

part two: nightmare nancy drew, checking up on her heart // part one: “i’m not inviting you in,” said the liar

though it could certainly be explained away given the basis for their relationship is a sex clinic and they both appreciate a good theme, the fact remains that we pick up maeve and otis’ relationship with a charged exchange of erotic images in episode four. having settled into friendship, the two of them now seem to be flirting with the possibility of something more.

the episode itself encourages this read, given we follow up with otis’ best friend accusing him of being in love with maeve and with maeve having some especially heated sex with jackson - the implication being that the exchange of pornographic images with otis has left her riled up.

and, if it wasn’t already clear by this point, the following scene where jackson approaches otis with his proposition throws into sharp relief the conflict each member of the love triangle will be grappling with for the episode: namely the way maeve’s relationship with jackson is sexually fulfilling but devoid of emotional intimacy, while otis is currently her closest friend but not someone with whom she has a sexual relationship. but while the episode centers on the boys’ desire for a more complete connection with maeve, this essay is about maeve’s pov, not theirs.

with that in mind, what i find most interesting about the first half of the episode is this pair of subtle moments, as they do a lot of work establishing the headspace in which maeve finds herself.

though she’s kicking the kissing couple out of her way and stealing in these two scenes, she still takes a beat to find the intimacy between both the student couple and cynthia and jeffrey charming. i don’t think it’s a stretch to claim that this open craving for and appreciation of romance is a result of otis’ recent entrance into her life. on top of having a lucrative project to focus on because of and with him, she’s rendered just as cupcake-y as he is by their texting. they’re both a little giddy with their newfound closeness.

still, we’ve established how the closeness does not translate to a physical relationship, which is what maeve’s yearning for here. for this reason, and possibly because he’s trying so hard to show an interest in the things she likes to talk about anyway, maeve turns to jackson for conversation instead of otis. though, at this point, she’s still not interested in the possibility of a committed relationship, she is interested in testing the boundaries of their current dynamic, hoping to determine if she can she have a stimulating friendship with jackson in addition to a thriving sexual relationship. the conclusion she reaches appears to be an affirmative one.

this leaves her with one reservation where jackson’s concerned: the fact that she doesn’t want a boyfriend. and when aimee pushes maeve to elaborate, maeve deflects. her question of “what’s so good about [having a boyfriend]?” effectively distracts aimee with talk of kyle.

otis, on the other hand, is not so easily put off the line of questioning - both because he has a much more vested interest in the answer than aimee and because he’s generally a bit sharper than her and therefore better suited to being the friend that can needle confidences out of maeve and her steely exterior.

and needle he does, first uncovering the general admission that boyfriends are “just someone else to let you down” in maeve’s eyes, and then the more jackson-specific answer that she feels the difference in their status acutely - which we, the audience, should have already picked up on given that she’s brought up the fact that jackson wanted to keep their hooking up a secret twice now - once at aimee’s party and again at the beginning of this episode. her exact words, in fact, are “jackson, i’m not offended that you wanna keep this a secret.” the doth protest too much energy could not be more evident.

while confessing this, it’s interesting to note that, just as maeve was experimenting with adding the missing element to her relationship with jackson earlier, she’s - consciously or not - testing the bounds of a physical relationship with otis.

i mean, look at her exhibiting the same dreamy pleasure that she did over witnessing other couples’ affection both when jackson texts her back and when she’s struck with the idea to push otis into the pool. whether or not she’s realized her intentions or true feelings on the matter for herself, she has positioned otis against jackson as a potential love interest and spends the episode weighing them against each other.

however, where she gets a conclusive answer to whether or not her and jackson can carry on a friendship (skewed though the results may be by otis’ unfortunate interference), she's left only with otis’ compelling oddness for an answer as to whether they have any kind of physical compatibility. she gets out of the pool still interested by her own admission, but with her curiosity unsatisfied.

and i think it’s especially important to note the exact way otis reacts to her getting more romantically physical than ever before with him.

while the audience has the context for this panic-stricken response, maeve has no idea that otis has a mental-block when it comes to wanking and therefore becomes severely uncomfortable whenever he has an erection. as far as she can tell, he just said “ow” and pulled away from physical contact with her for no more reason than it was physical contact with her.

anyway, it’s with maeve’s confirmation that her and jackson could have more than just transcendental sex and her lack of any conclusive proof that her and otis are compatible as more than just friends that we enter the final act of this episode. and that might have been enough on its own to get maeve to respond positively to jackson’s grand gesture. but it’s this moment here that really sets up maeve accepting jackson’s final request that she be his girlfriend.

as she said to otis, maeve’s primary hang-up when it comes to dating jackson is the fact that he made it clear at the start that he was ashamed of their hooking up. and since his grand gesture amounts to school-wide acknowledgement that he has feelings for her and doesn’t care what anyone might say about it, maeve’s left with no readily available reason to turn down jackson. so she doesn’t. she doesn’t wholeheartedly agree, either, but she finds herself open to the idea that seeing where things go with jackson is worth it for the chance at the intimacy her friendship with otis has made her more comfortable admitting she craves.

except we open episode five with the revelation that a month has passed and maeve’s still fighting that very intimacy with jackson, as evidenced by her resistance to meeting his parents and the jokey frustration behind his line “cool. we’ll just have sex in the back of my car forever.” still, jackson’s concerning tendency to push past the boundaries maeve tries to establish rears its ugly head, and she’s dragged along into this serious relationship milestone.

though it seemed like the show was endorsing the Grand Gesture as romantic even after ruthlessly mocking it in episode four, it chooses to shine a light on the emptiness of the trope in episode five by carrying over the issue with maeve and jackson’s differences in social status. his public acknowledgement of his feelings for her felt good in the moment, but it did nothing to fix their deeper incompatibility. because, while episode four sells us on the lie that the discrepancy in social standing was a problem because jackson made it one, episode five makes it clear that it was self-shame on maeve’s part all along. jackson wanting to keep their hookups a secret certainly didn’t help, but the heart of the matter is that maeve that cannot handle the way jackson’s nice, clean house and doting parents make her feel like “grotty, stinky cock biter who lives in a caravan.” she fears that’s all she’ll ever be and is, therefore, not good enough for someone who’s more.

with these insecurities at the front of her mind and given the chance to save someone else from an unflattering sexual reputation, maeve jumps on the clinic business with a one-track intensity that speaks to just how badly she wants to feel worthy of something better. and the fact that she chooses otis as her companion in this quest speaks to the way she doesn’t feel pressure to be anything but herself around him. he’s all at once understanding of how trapped she feels and the person who supports her in her effort to be more. i mean, consider this moment here.

we’ve been tracking maeve’s willingness to open up and it doesn’t get any more nakedly vulnerable than this beat, which follows a speech in which her anger and hurt over the reputation that casts a pall over everything she does is seeping out of her every pore.

anyway, the bottom line is, despite having committed to jackson in episode four, maeve is back to avoiding true intimacy and vulnerability with him while leaning on otis for the very same. and though otis misinterprets it a little, he’s clearly picked up on this pattern.

his implication that she only wants him around for clinic stuff (and therefore, money) or to avoid jackson misses the fact that it’s not about jackson at all for her (and definitely not about the money in this case, since they’re not making any). as she tells him, maeve wants otis around because he’s her friend. she’s naturally inclined to enjoy his company and feels most comfortable being herself when she’s around him.

and then there’s this moment.

(yes, it’s about eyebrows, okay, let me live my best life) up until this moment, maeve maintains some plausible deniability about whether or not she recognizes how deep her feelings for otis have become. but his challenging the assertion that they’re friends catches her off guard, and she looks like her heart just stopped over the possibility that he’s forcing the conversation about how much more than friends they act.

since the following scene they share together includes maeve flirtily challenging otis to steal and her peering in on ola and him sharing a moment with obvious jealousy, i don’t think my read of the above moment as a turning point for her is without in-text support.

which brings us to the all-important bridge scene. having just acknowledged out loud that she’s not expecting jackson to forgive her for running away, she experiences a moment with otis wherein he initiates a bit of physical contact - pretty much for the first time in their relationship. and almost immediately in response, maeve’s body language turns coveting of a kiss.

so when otis aborts his lean in rather abruptly, jerking away from her, it’s no wonder that maeve looks confused and hurt.

though it’d be easy to read her reaction as simple disappointment with otis’ confession - especially since it casts a strange light on their joint venture - it’s important to remember that this marks the second occasion where he’s reacted with panic to physical contact with her. and, once again, while we know exactly why otis is psyching himself out, maeve lacks similar context.

which is probably why, having just succeeded in her mission to save ruby from a similar Cock Biter fate and having just gathered some pretty damning evidence that otis doesn’t want to take their relationship outside the realm of friendship, maeve feels compelled to return to jackson. operating under the assumption that otis is no longer a potential romantic interest, maeve submits to the true intimacy jackson’s been after for a while by showing him where she lives and communicating her anxieties about their respective statuses. they share a genuinely nice moment where they both come to understand the other better, and their relationship becomes richer for it.

of course, we’re only just more than halfway through the season, and maeve’s affections are anything but settled, even if her attachment to jackson has reached new depths. after all, “you can’t choose who you’re attracted to. you can’t engineer a relationship.” and maeve’s about to learn these lessons the hard way.