#Chuuya you can choose the weapon you can hurt me

[amy-maguire]

This is incredibly real

I want chuuya nakahara to threaten me with knives bro why does dazai get everything

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part three] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

A man is murdered and things get interesting as the investigation starts. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,981 words

note: no smut in this one hehe, but things are gonna get fun. enjoy!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"Hey... are you okay?" Kenji asked me a few days later, noticing the scowl on my face and realizing that I had been tapping my nail on my desk repeatedly for the last fifteen minutes. "You seem... pissed?"

I grunted, closing my eyes and slowly taking a deep breath. "I'm okay, Kenji. Just having a bad day." The others shared looks with each other, but chose not to pry. The frown on my face never left, my fists clenched as my blood continued to boil.

Then that all went away, when I felt a gentle hand against the back of my neck. I looked over at Dazai, who had lazily rolled himself in his chair over to me. He grinned. "I could see the steam coming from your ears!"

His hand never left my neck, moving until his fingers loosely wrapped around the column of my throat. Strangely enough, my anger had completely gone away when he touched me, and it felt nice to finally breathe. "With the day I'm having..." I sighed, the whole world seemingly melting away, Dazai's thumb stroking along my jaw.

Kunikida was clearly unimpressed, the man gritting his teeth. Atsushi looked shocked, his face tinged red while Ranpo and Kenji just touched their own necks gently.

"Does she like to get choked?"

"Who knows, man."

"Hey, I know what will make you feel better," Dazai suggested and I tilted my head, waiting for him to continue. He leaned in and would have kissed me if it weren't for a book smacking right into the side of Dazai's head.

"Do that on your own time! We have a schedule!" Kunikida fumed while I quickly turned around to cover my face, simply to muffle down my obnoxious laughter.

"Oh, dude!"

"Kunikida! What was that for!"

"Public indecency!"

Dazai rubbed his head, whining from the pain while I just giggled behind my hands. Dazai almost looked betrayed at me laughing at him and I just shrugged my shoulders. "Hey, that's what you get for trying to play grab ass."

I purposely ignored Dazai's pouty face for the rest of the day, the man clearly upset that he didn't get to kiss me. I shook my head, glaring at him from across the office while threateningly pointing my pen at him.

"Work, dammit."

"I don't wanna! Bella, don't be so mean!"

I fixed him another glare before going back to my work, finishing up the final report for the last case we were on. After going through and making sure it was perfect, I saved and emailed it to the President, just as the door to the office slammed opened.

"He's gone!"

"Keiko?! What the he- Keiko, what's wrong?"

I stood up from my desk, my best friend standing before me in a frazzled state. She looked extremely distressed, tears falling down her face. I rushed to her, the woman collapsing into my arms as we both fell to our knees.

"He's gone!" she exclaimed before she started to sob into my chest. "He's gone! He's gone! He's gone!"

"Keiko..." I looked up at the others with wide eyes, them looking on with alarm. I turned back to Keiko, rubbing on her back as she continued to sob.

Taichi was killed. He was found in an alleyway with multiple stab wounds. Keiko had received a call from the police after his identity was discovered, the detectives revealing the tragic news to her.

"I'm so sorry, Keiko..." I said to her softly, sitting with her in one of the small areas of the office, separated by simple dividers. "... how the hell did this happen? We just saw him last night when he dropped you off at my place..."

Keiko had finished crying, but the terrible sadness in her eyes was a clear indication of how devastated she was. I clenched my fists, feeling my anger from earlier building up again.

"I'm going to have to make my statement," Keiko said softly, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Do you want me to go with you to the station?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No... it's okay..."

"The thing is, you are also one of the last people to see him alive," Kunikida spoke up, standing by with Dazai and Atsushi. "You'll have to give your account too..."

Sighing deeply, I absentmindedly reached under my skirt, pausing when I didn't feel my knife against my thigh where it usually was. I gritted my teeth, shaking my head to myself before I went back to rubbing on Keiko's back in an attempt to comfort her.

Soon, Keiko and I left the Agency and headed on over to the police station. We gave our accounts of the night before when we last saw Taichi, us talking separately with a different agent.

"Now you know, Mr. Kamiya was in the Port Mafia," the agent said and I nodded. "And they have quite a bit of history with your little organization."

I didn't like the condescending tone in his voice, but I kept my cool. "Of course, but none of us have anything to do with this man's murder, and you have no evidence proving otherwise."

He just rolled his eyes at me. "Well, this is all we need. You're free to go."

I nodded before quietly making my way out of the interview room. I met with Keiko, who looked like she had been crying again and I pulled her into a comforting hug. "It's okay. This will be over soon."

Later on, I found myself back at the Agency, Keiko choosing to go home, despite my protests. My head was buried in my arms, not moving as I felt someone put their hand on my head, lightly scratching my scalp.

"Looks like the police will keep on investigating Taichi's murder," Dazai said and I peeked one eye out to find him leaning against my desk. "Thing is, I'm sure the Port Mafia will also be conducting their own investigation. Ohh, this is gonna get interesting~"

"So is it better if we stay out of this, then?" I asked, sitting up in my chair. "I mean, unless we're asked... we don't have to touch this."

Dazai regarded me for a moment, a mysterious smile growing on his face before he just threw his hands up nonchalantly. "I get it, you were friends with the guy."

"Not really," I corrected him immediately. "Keiko is my friend."

"Ohhhhh," Dazai just hummed, tapping his forefinger on his chin. "Well anywho, the police are gonna have their hands full if the Port Mafia really gets involved! It wouldn't hurt to help, right?"

I hesitated, a small smile soon growing on my face as I nodded. "Sure. Let's start tomorrow."

"How about tonight instead?!" Dazai asked with a cheerful smile while I just glared at him angrily, the two of us now standing in the middle of the crime scene.

"Why do I even bother believing a word you say?" I hissed at him, attempting to kick the man but he quickly side stepped me. I gritted my teeth. "Ugh, plus it's already dark, Dazai. It's gonna be harder to find any evidence." Indeed, the only light we were getting was from the full moon up ahead, and the shitty lights above the side door of one of the buildings. "Are we even allowed to be here?"

Dazai simply nodded his head. "Of course, we were assigned to this case, afterall."

"... you told me the police were keeping it," I said, eyebrows twitching in annoyance. Was he serious?!

Dazai just smiled and threw his hands up. "Guess I was mistaken," he hummed and I sighed deeply, rubbing my temples.

"Okay so... what now?" I asked, finally looking around the crime scene. It was obviously taped off and Taichi's body was removed. All there was left was a giant stain of blood, which I now looked at with a worried face.

"Just by the nature of the crime alone, we can easily say it was a crime of passion. If this was a local gang or rival, he would have been shot, or even jumped and beaten to death. Official word is, he was stabbed over sixty times," Dazai explained, standing beside me and staring at the blood. "There is no sign of the murder weapon, no other physical evidence besides Taichi's dead body and blood. We'll have to wait for forensics to give us their final word, but I can tell... this might not be so easy to crack."

I nodded solemnly, my fists clenched tightly.

"Or... will it?"

I took in a deep breath before turning and sending Dazai a sheepish smile. "Well, we got our work cut out for us, huh."

Dazai chuckled softly. "Yeah, but that's what makes it fun."

"So Dazai," I started, crossing my arms over my chest. "I have a question."

"I may have an answer."

"Have you ever killed anyone before?"

Silence followed after my question and I turned to look at the man. His hands were in his pockets, a weird smile on his face. "I have. Quite a few."

For some reason, the answer didn't shock me as much as it probably should. "How do you sleep at night?"

More silence, before Dazai stood before me. I looked up at him, heart thudding when I saw that same dim look in his eyes. His lips curled up and he leaned in, making me hold my breath as he whispered.

"Like a baby."

My breath hitched in my throat, eyes going wide. I licked my lips nervously, nodding my head slowly. "I see..." Just... wow.

"You know, I could have gone without seeing your ugly face, Dazai."

A look of distaste grew on Dazai's face as the newcomer came sauntering up to us. He wore black, a familiar hat resting upon a familiar head of red hair. Blue eyes stared daggers into my coworker, mouth curled into a displeased snarl.

"Ah, Chuuya! It is a small world, after all," Dazai sang, the glare in his eyes not meeting the jovial tone of his voice.

Chuuya scoffed. "I thought you'd be fucking dead by now, but of course, you always love to piss me off."

"'Cause it's so much fun!"

The two men clearly didn't like each other, but that was the least of my concerns. All I could do was stare at Chuuya in shock. Of course, Taichi was one of his subordinates, he would want to find out who his killer was and get retribution. That was just how the Port Mafia worked.

I gulped, carefully trying to back away from the two. They could stand there and bicker with each other all they want. I had to get out of here before-

"Oh wait, meet my new friend!" Dazai wrapped his arm around my neck, wrestling me to his side effortlessly as I tried to break free. He knew I was trying to escape and made sure that didn't happen.

"Hey, let me go!" I hissed, not pleased with being pulled into a damn chokehold.

"Not until you meet my old friend!"

Chuuya growled. "We're not friends, damn traitor!"

Traitor? I grew confused, eyebrows pinched even as I fought against Dazai's hold. Chuuya narrowed his eyes when he finally got a good look at me.

"Hey... do I know you?"

Crap. "Uh..." I laughed sheepishly, Dazai now confused as he looked back and forth between the two of us.

"You know each other?"

"W-well..."

"We met a few months ago," Chuuya spoke up, his eyes widening in realization before his eyes narrowed and he snarled.  "Knew you couldn't be trusted."

"Wait!" I exclaimed, making it out of Dazai's hold and holding my hands up to Chuuya. "I swear... I didn't even know about the ADA when we met. It was just as I said that night, I lost my job and was there to drink my pain away."

"Tch," Chuuya sounded, his eyes still narrowed. "And now you work with this traitorous bastard. Lucky you."

There was that word again.

"What do you mean by traitor?" I asked, at the same time Dazai spoke up.

"How the hell do you two know each other?"

Chuuya scoffed. "I fucked her."

I squeaked, Dazai's eyebrows raising.

"Interesting. I'm fucking her too."

I squeaked again, waving my hands wildly before either man could respond. "D-don't we have a murder to solve, huh?!"

It fell on deaf ears, the two men staring each other down, all before their eyes were on me and my trembling form.

"You know... I feel like we've been here before, Chuuya."

Said man snorted. "When you fucked my girls?"

"Like you haven't fucked mine?"

Okay, now I was confused. "Um... I don't understand..."

"Oh yeah!" Dazai exclaimed a bit too cheerfully, putting a hand on Chuuya's shoulder, earning a withering glare. "Chuuya and I go way back. Were the best of friends."

"No we weren't."

"We were partners! The best there was!"

"... tch."

Partners? What the hell did Dazai mean by partners? I looked between the two men, lips formed in a thin line. Then, the answer struck and my mouth fell open in shock. There was no fucking way... Dazai? I swallowed thickly, shaking my head for this was not the time or place to be thinking about this.

"Okay... I can only imagine just how deep this shit goes," I started, the men looking at me curiously. "But we have a murder to solve. Whatever... this," I gestured my hand between the two of them. "Is... it can wait. Y'all can make out or whatever later."

That was my attempt at breaking whatever tension there was, but I was the only one cackling when Dazai and Chuuya immediately protested.

"I will kill you!"

"That is not funny, bella!"

"Ugggh, I don't have the time for this. I should have known that the ADA would be investigating this, and that just pisses me off. You two should just stay out of my way," Chuuya said, hands in his coat pocket. "Though you... word is that you were one of the lasts who saw Taichi alive."

My heart dropped when Chuuya looked at me and I frowned. "And I told the police that I saw him when he dropped Keiko off at my apartment. There are cameras in the lobby that will show that I never left the apartment. We even ordered food in."

"Fuck. And there is no other evidence right now. No weapon, no hints of DNA. It's like the killer just vanished," Chuuya said to himself and I glanced at Dazai, seeing the amused look on his face.

"What if it was an ability user?" Dazai suggested. Chuuya gritted his teeth.

"Shut up! I don't need your help!"

"Really? Are you sure?" Dazai taunted the red head, quickly ducking when Chuuya swung his foot in a wide kick. Dazai didn't get hit, but the wall behind him took the damage, large cracks forming on the surface. I swallowed thickly. Just how strong was Chuuya?

"H-hey," I started nervously, foolishly getting between the two men before they could start a fight. "We're after the same goal, right? Why don't we just... work together?" The fierce glares I got made me shrink. "O-o-or! Or not! That's fine! Just don't fight!"

"Bella is right... fighting is so beneath me," Dazai said wistfully and I sighed deeply.

"Dazai, I'm being serious. This man was my best friend's boyfriend. I want to find his killer too."

"Just stay out of it," Chuuya growled. "This has nothing to do with either of you. The Port Mafia will handle this."

"Let's make it a race then." Both Chuuya and I were dumbfounded as we looked at Dazai, waiting for him to continue. "A competition to see who figures this out, the ADA or the Port Mafia."

"Dazai... what the hell?" I asked in disbelief, Chuuya stepped closer to him.

"What's the prize?"

Dazai smirked, raising a bandaged hand and pointing right to me. "Our bella."

My jaw dropped. "You're fucking kidding me?"

"No," Dazai answered rather seriously. "I'm not."

Chuuya is strangely quiet, his unreadable eyes now trained on me. I fidgeted under his gaze, looking away to find Dazai staring at me all the same. I shivered. I hated this; hated being part of such a stupid competition as a prize, and I hated that I fucking loved it. I screwed my eyes shut.

"Deal," Chuuya finally said and I gasped when I felt his familiar leather clad fingers cup my face, him moving my head to make me look at him. "Gotta say, I didn't expect to see you again, but I'm glad our paths have crossed a second time." I became extremely flustered and Chuuya smirked. "Tell me, Dazai. What was it like having my sloppy seconds?"

I gasped sharply with Dazai only laughing darkly, suddenly feeling his presence behind me. "Can't say it was too bad..." he answered and I just completely clocked out, breath hitching as I felt a bit embarrassed. And turned on. They knew exactly what to say to get me riled up.

"Okay, I'm leaving! It's late and I still haven't eaten dinner yet! Bye!" I was frantic trying to rush away from them as fast as I could. I didn't even turn back when Dazai called after me.

"See you tomorrow, bella!" Dazai chuckled softly, watching me disappear, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"A race? Really?" Chuuya asked incredulously, eyes piercing as he stared at his old partner.

"It will just make this all the more fun," Dazai hummed.

"You're a bastard," Chuuya scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Just stay out of my way. Taichi getting himself killed just ruined the investigation we had on him."

"Oh?" Dazai raised his eyebrows, amused. "Was he being a naughty boy?"

"Shut the fuck up, Dazai."

-End

I have this headcanon that Dazai and Chuuya definitely stole each other's girls and even shared them and had threesomes when they were partners and ya'll CANNOT tell me otherwise.

[linkspooky]

Kunikida + Oda: Death of a Good Man

While Kunikida and Oda have never met in canon they are characters with a lot in common. They both essentially play the same role, as the moral center of their respective groups (particularly acting as a conscience for Dazai). They both share the same strengths and weaknesses. However, one lives and one dies. MORE UNDER THE CUT. 

1. Relationship with Dazai

Dazai is a character who has trouble seeing himself as a person. That is, he doesn’t see himself as the same as everyone else. (His ability is titled No Longer Human, surprise, surprise). Oda says as much to Dazai, that traditional values like good or evil don’t really mean that much to him. 

“Whether you’re on the side that takes lives, or the side that saves them nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander for eternity.” 

...

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to be a good person.” - Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

It’s not that Dazai is a sociopath, or even unfeeling, it’s just that he is so distanced from his own humanity, and from other people. He genuinely believes he can’t feel the same way as they do. Dazai even described the way he saw himself to Fyodor. 

Dazai tells Fyodor that he feels like he’s sperate from everyone else. It’s like he’s the player, and everybody else is pieces on the game board. But, even though he might come up with strategies and move the pieces, he’s not really the one changing things, or affecting other people’s lives because he’s not right there in the middle of things he’s far away. 

Dazai even flashes back to Oda and Gide’s final showdown when trying to explain this feeling to Fyodor. Oda his closest and only friend at the time, who he could not reach out to and save. Dazai believes he can’t touch other people, he can’t reach out and save them, because he sees himself as lacking in feelings or a heart. Which is why, Dazai relies on the people around him. Dazai attached himself to Oda when he was in the Mafia, and then again to Kunikida when he was detective agency to essentially act as his heart, his external conscience for him. That’s the relationship he shares with both of them. It’s why the first two light novels are essentially about Dazai, but narrated from the point of view of his partner at the time. Light novel one is about his partnership with Kunikida, and Light Novel 2 is about his friendship with Oda back in the dark age. The connection between them is that both Oda, and Kunikida are good, just men who have tried to understand Dazai in one way or another. 

The events of both light novels even mirror each other to an extent. Entrance exam is about Dazai joining the agency, Dark Era is about Dazai leaving the mafia. Entrance exam is about Kunikida failing to understand Dazai, but learning to trust him anyway. Dark Era is about Oda being the only one who fully understands Dazai, but then not listening to him at the end of the story. They both end with a symbolic death, Oda commits double suicide with Gide, whereas Kunikida pretends to shoot Dazai in order to follow his plan. 

Dazai’s a master strategist, but he’s not a leader of men, nor does he have any particular ideals he stands for. Dazai was given a position of leadership within the port mafia, and not only did he spend the entire time tormenting his closest subordinate but he didn’t care about the lives of his subordinates the way Chuuya does. 

Dazai sees Kunikida as someone having the ideals he does not have, therefore doing what he cannot, and being what he cannot be to others. This is a role Oda used to serve as his one and only friend. However, while they occupy the same spot as Dazai’s most trusted person their relationships with him are very different.

Kunikida is very combative with Dazai and always fighting against him. He personally expects Dazai to be better in all aspects. He scolds him for being lazy and neglecting his work. When Dazai messes with other people or manipulates them, it’s Kunikida who is the first to get frustrated with him. Kunikida also, tends to lack a fundamental understanding of Dazai. It’s a running joke that he’s always a step behind him (he’s the last person to find out Dazai was a mafia member when everyone else already knew). The literal first thing established about their relationship in the first chapter, is that they are constantly fighting with each other. They barely make it through a dinner with Atsushi. 

However, Kunikida also listens to Dazai when it’s important. It’s the other way around with Oda, Oda is someone who does fundamentally understand who Dazai really is deep down. However, at the same time Oda doesn’t really try to exert any influence over Dazai until the very end of his life. Their relationship was defined by being distant to one another, and not asking questions.

The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood. 

But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era. 

 Him, Ango and Dazai could only keep meeting as the Buraiha at the Lupin bar if they pretended to not know anything about what each other did outside of the bar. They’re different in one main aspect, Kunikida fights Dazai, and Oda doesn’t start fighting until it’s almost far too late. 

2. Living and Dying for One’s Ideals

One more direct parallel between the two is that Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to live up to the ideal they find in a book. Literally. Kunikida obsessively writes out his ideals in his notebook where he has his whole future planned out.

What are ideals? There are innumerable answers to that question. One could say it’s merely a term, or an idea, or perhaps even the soruce of all meaning. But if you ask me, the answer is obvious. It’s the word written on the cover of my notebook.  My notebook has all the answers. It is my creed, my master, and a prophet that guides me. At times, it can either be a weapon ro a solution. Ideals. Everything I am is written in this notebook which I always carry with me. My entire future lies within it - Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

Oda picked up a book and loved it so much he wanted to write the ending for himself.

After worrying about it for so long, I came to one conclusion.  “Then you write what happens next.” I decided to write about it myself. I would become a novelist, and write a story about why the man stopped killing. But to become a novelist, I needed to sincerely know what it meant to live. So, I stopped killing. -   Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era. 

Kunikida and Oda are both characters who find their will to live for the future within the pages of a book. Which makes sense as both characters struggle with lofty ideals and a harsh reality. Oda and Kunikida are characters written about the struggle to be a good man, in a world that is not good. To hold ideals, in a world that is not ideal. This once again ties back to what Dazai said to Fyodor, God isn’t perfect harmony, he’s illogical and absurd.

The world isn’t ideal and orderly. It’s extremely, extremely messy. Kunikida and Oda are both characters who strive to be better, and want the world to be better and because of that they fall into conflict. However, Oda lost his fight, and Kunikida is still fighting. Part of why Dazai got so attached to Kunikida is also because he saw Oda’s ideals within Kunikida, and knew that carrying those ideals could crush him so easily. 

“Justice is a weapon. It can be used to harm, but it cannot protect and save others.”  -Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exams

The meanings of Dazai’s words are clear when you look at them in the context of what he learned after losing Oda. Oda decided to throw his life away to avenge the children after Gide. He achieved justice then. However, nobody was saved. The children were already dead. Oda himself wasn’t saved. Dazai lost his only friend. 

“Something?” I looked at Dazai. “There isn’t anything, Dazai. It’s all over. Everything. Whatever else happens now is meaningless - just like I’m about to do. AM I wrong?”  “Odasaku...” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording but - don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be soemthing...”

[...]

Oda’s march against Gide isn’t just tragic, it’s a deliberate choice. It was a suiide. He’s given several oppurtunities to just walk away, or wait for something else to give him a reason to live and he doesn’t. His final actions hurt more than they helped. Yes, he did save Dazai in a way by throwing his life away, but Dazai also lost the person who could understand him. Oda could have lived. He could have done more if he had lived. Dazai even says so in dead apple, saving people is the more beautiful path, but you have to be alive to see that beauty. 

This is also why Kunikida and Oda have such a connection to Dazai. Underneath their struggles to be a good man they are both constantly dealing with suicidal feelings. 

Kunikida is far more fragile than he lets on. Part of the reason he attaches himself to ideals rather than people, is because caring about people hurts, and he is so afraid of failing the people in his life (the same way Oda eventually failed to protect the children) that he can’t admit the depth to which he cares about them.

Kunikida struggles to save everyone in front of him, but that’s also because Kunikida is internally someone who is very fragile. He can’t handle the loss, especially losing those he is close to. When Atsushi is hospitalized after his first fight with Akutagawa, he pretends to be unconcerned. When Atsushi wants to save Kyoka, Kunikida tries to persuade him to not save her. Oda and Kunikida are both avoidant characters, Oda avoided ever stepping inside of Dazai’s loneliness, and Kunikida avoids getting close to others because they fear the people they cannot save. Kunikida cares so much and so deeply, that he’s completely shattered when he fails someone. 

Every strategy by the detective agency’s enemies relies on crushing Kunikida because he’s the easiest target. When he fails like this he wants to give up. Kunikida and Oda have this dark underside to their actions where they’re fighting continually to be better, but when they fail, they long to throw their lives away and give up the struggle. 

Part of the reason they’re attracted to Dazai is deep down Kunikida and Oda both have the same suicidal feelings. Kunikida knows that his ideals will never live up to the reality. 

However, secretly he longs to fail so he won’t have to struggle against it anymore. 

“I let go of Dazai. I understand what he’s aying. Perhaps righteousness isn’t something you seek in others, but something you search for inside of yourself. Even then... Miss Sasaki is dead, and so is Rokuzo.  All I’ve found in my search for righteousness within myself is a sense of hopelessness.”

Osamu Dazai’s Entrance Exam

The question is can you continue to live? Even if you fail over and over again to do better. Even if the things you try to protect all die. Kunikida’s arc so far mirrors Oda’s. The things he told himself he would protect, he failed to. The promises he made, he breaks. He said he was never going to watch a child die in front of him, and then it happens. 

He said he was never going to fail to protect the agency again, but then the agency became the victims of the hunting dogs, and Kunikida had to go completely on the run. He said he was going to throw himself away in a big bang against the hunting dogs to show his ideals would never fail, and instead.

He even loses his ideals and his ability to write in the notebook. So, what is the difference between Kunikida and Oda that allows Kunikida to keep struggling where Oda did not. I think it’s not really a difference between them, so much as it’s a difference between Dazai. Dazai’s grown since then and realized his mistakes with Oda, and because of that doesn’t stay at a comfortable distance from Kunikida.

Dazai has grown enough between then and now he’s able to reach people who feel similiarly to him. He understood the suicidal feelings of both Kunikida, and Oda, but he didn’t reach out to Oda until it was too late. However, Dazai has grown to the point where he not only understands Kunikida’s struggle and sympathizes with him, but he’s also able to say the words he couldn’t say to Oda until it was too late. 

There’s no such thing as a point of no return. There is no point where everything is already over. Even if you fail to protect someone, even if you fail to protect everyone. 

"Anything I would never want to lose will be lost. It is given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging life of suffering."

Dazai is still the same person that said this. Deep down that’s what Kunikida and Oda both fear, that after Oda failed the orphans, that after Kunikida could not save an innocent child in front of them, that no matter how hard they fought all of their attempts to protect someone would fail that way. At which point their fighting seemed to become meaningless.

Dazai knowing those feelings has moved past that lament. He still believes that the struggle may be meaningless, but he reassures them that they can keep fighting anyway. 

If there’s no great glorious ideal to live for, if nothing we do matters, than all that matters is what we do. The world isn’t good, the world will never be as good as we want it to be, yet Kunikida can still strive to be good in the face of that.

[seeuonadarknite]

wrath — yandere nakahara chuuya x f. reader

request: Hii! Can I ask Chuuya who manipulate his s/o and punish her badly almost everytime to show her how much his 'love' towards her? Anyway I'm in love w ur stories

❀ thank u bby 🥺 sorry this took me so long to post! i hope you like it

warnings: toxic relationships, abuse, kidnapping

Saying that you were tired of your boyfriend's hostile antics was an understatement. Lately the two of you have been doing nothing but fighting. Not the cutesy, old couple kind of fighting, but the wrathful, full of hate kind. Your relationship was nothing but a constant battle.

What added insult to injury was that during these fights, Chuuya would often leave you with large, purple bruises and call it his way of "punishing" you. The way he basically dumbed you down to the level of a poorly trained mutt was degrading.

And his reasoning for punishing you was absolutely ridiculous. You could be left with a macabre necklace of hand marks on your throat, and he'd justify it by telling you that he didn't want you on speaking terms with his buddies. They'd probably try and snatch you right from beneath him. Of course they would obviously fail miserably, but that wasn't the point. What mattered was the fact that you deliberately went against his rules and betrayed his trust.

So it was no surprise that Chuuya was pissed when you came home with information regarding your new mission. Maybe pissed was an understatement.

"You're partnering with Dazai?! That fuckhead?" It didn't take Chuuya long to create another large indent in the wall with his fist, cracking the poor drywall as he shrieked at you with fury. Raising an eyebrow, you crossed your arms and sent your boyfriend an unimpressed glare. This was the fourth time this month that he damaged the house you two shared. His recklessness was beyond exhausting.

"It's just for work! Are you seriously gonna get pissed at me for doing as I'm told? Do you want me to lose my position?" You snapped, hoping to knock some sense into the male who seemed to quiver with rage. However, the way Chuuya snapped his head towards you and sent you a piercing glare told you that your words were far from convincing. Here you go again.

Without second thought, Chuuya stomped towards you and grabbed a hold of your hair within a fluid movement, painfully dragging your struggling figure across the living room and towards the door to the basement.

"Gah! Get off of me, you psycho!" Your screeches seem to go unnoticed, as Chuuya slammed the door open and carelessly dragged you down the creaky basement stairs by the hair. The way he overpowered you with his brute strength and threw you around with ease was beyond frustrating. You felt like a damn ragdoll in his presence.

Once you finally reached the bottom of the staircase, Chuuya dragged you over to the very end of the unfinished room, where two chained cuffs dangled from the wall. Ah, shit. You weren't a stranger to these dreadful restraints. Looking up at your seething boyfriend before he could carry on with his plan, you silently plead for mercy with your glossy doe eyes.

The way you looked at him was akin to a the way a child would look at their parents with puppy dog eyes. Only instead of begging for the newest barbie dream house, you were pleading with him not to lock you up inside of a frigid, eerie basement for days on end.

Unfortunately for you, your pleading only sparked Chuuya's primal instincts, as he forcefully grabbed your wrists and cuffed each one to the wall behind you. "If you don't stop fucking squirming, I'll swallow this key whole." Chuuya threatened in a low growl. His threat was all it took to shut you up as you allowed him to tighten the cuffs, the cold metal uncomfortably digging into your skin.

"Good girl. One last thing.." He picked up a hunting knife, and just for a split second, you picked up on an unnerving, murderous glint in his eye. Of course it was gone as soon as it came, but it was hard to miss. "What are you doing with that..?" Your voice was shaky as you focused your gaze on the weapon in his hands. However, instead of using it to hurt you like you presumed he would, he gingerly brought it up under your shirt and began tearing away at the fabric.

Once he successfully managed to cut off all of your clothing, he stared down at your shivering form with a triumphant smirk. Perfect. "Ah, fuck. Don't rile me up, now. I have things I gotta get done." The way you pathetically rubbed your legs together in hopes of even warming yourself up in the slightest sparked his innermost primal desires. God, he could just eat you alive—

"B-Babe.. I'm freezing. It's too cold down here, please.." Your eyes began to brim with tears as you watched a smug expression take over his features. Getting the life beaten out of you would've probably been easier than this. With the cuffs strapped to your wrists scraping your skin and drawing blood, along with the freezing cold air of the basement biting at your body, you were already close to your wits end.

"Sorry, I have business I need to attend to. Don't worry, baby. I won't leave ya down here for too long." With one last smirk, he retreated from your form and made his way back over to the stairs. However, the next thing you say has him stopping in his tracks. "Please.. don't hurt him.."

You didn't even have to say his name; Chuuya knew exactly who you were talking about. Stomping over to you with rage in his steps, he wrapped his gloved hand around your jaw and forcefully jerked your head towards his. "The fuck did you just say? Do you like him better or somethin'?!" Wrong move. If you don't choose your next words correctly, Chuuya will surely have your head.

"No..! No. It's— it's just that you're so strong, and.. if you end up hurting him, boss might not be happy..!" Ugh. It physically pained you to talk to him like this. It felt consoling a petulant toddler having a temper tantrum. To your relief, Chuuya released your face from his death grip with the quirk of his brow. "I don't give a shit. The fucker did it to himself." Chuuya once again stepped away from your form, this time actually making his way back up the creaky stairs without any distractions.

Maybe you were right. Maybe killing the bandaged maniac in cold blood would upset the boss. After all, Dazai was a very crucial piece to the puzzle of the Port Mafia. But that didn't mean he couldn't break a few bones in order to show him not to mess with what was rightfully is.

Plus, the bastard would probably enjoy it.

[shiniestcrow]

“The transfer of one Agency member to the Mafia.”

This is a plot point I've been thinking about a lot while reading the latest BSD chapters. Mori can still choose one person of the ADA to join the Port Mafia. 

Other people have probably already speculated on this, likely better than I can. However, I still want to write down my thoughts. Possibly contains spoilers for the manga.

Now, the two most obvious choices are Yosano and Dazai. I doubt Mori would actually choose them, however.

Yosano

Her ability would be a massive asset to the Port Mafia, and we already know that Mori wanted her to join them. He also enjoys torturing her with the thought of choosing her. But as Fukuzawa said, she wouldn't tolerate being his assistant again. She probably would go with him for the good of the ADA but not be a productive member of the Mafia. She might even outright refuse to use her ability for them. And Mori's obviously not stupid. So if he chooses her, it would be with the knowledge that he might have wasted the chance of getting someone that's actually going to help the Mafia out.

Dazai

As with Yosano, we know that Mori would like Dazai to return to the Mafia. He has even outright offered it more than once. Dazai would be the ideal successor for Mori if he actually worked towards the goals of the Port Mafia. 

Well, I don't think Dazai would do that. He'd probably work on dismantling and weakening them right under Mori's nose. And there wouldn't be much anyone could do. Dazai needs to return because he wants to not because Mori managed to force him.

So yeah, I doubt Mori would choose either of them, with Yosano still being more likely than Dazai.

Next up: Atsushi and Ranpo

Atsushi

Atsushi is a strong fighter and combined with Akutagawa we've got the new Double Black. If the Mafia had both parts of the team, they'd have a massive advantage. 

The problem: Atsushi is, next to Kunikida, the person with the most defined morals. They're not exactly compatible with the way the Mafia operates. Mori would need to break down Atsushi's stubbornness, which would not prove easy. 

Also, Atsushi is the actual main character. The whole tone of the series would need to change if Atsushi joins the Port Mafia, even if it's for a limited time.

Ranpo

Want to take down the ADA? Well, just choose the actual reason for it existing in the first place. 

Ranpo's damn near unstoppable if he sets his mind to something as we've seen in his whole rescue mission. Twist him enough to actually benefit the Mafia and Mori might not need Dazai as a successor. 

The problem with that is rather apparent though: You first have to manage to turn him like that. At the moment, Ranpo would probably end up similarly to Dazai: Work towards dismantling the Mafia from within. 

Also, Ranpo is wholly devoted to Fukuzawa.

If Mori does manage to get Ranpo working for his benefit though? It won't just be the ADA having a massive problem.

Choosing Ranpo would be a huge gamble I don't think Mori would be willing to take. He prefers being certain of the outcome of his decisions.

On a more personal note: Kyōka and Kunikida

Kyōka

We all know that Kōyō is attached to Kyōka and might try to influence Mori to take her back. I doubt that, however. She has expressed that she wants Kyōka to be saved and no matter how much she regrets not being able to leave the Port Mafia before, she seems to have accepted both her place as well as Kyōka's escape. Why drag her back?

Unrelated to that are Kyōka's abilities and knowledge of the Port Mafia. Both have been proven advantageous for the ADA before, and removing them would benefit the Mafia. That still leaves Dazai's knowledge, of course, which lessens the benefit significantly. 

Kyōka is likely to lose her control over Demon Snow once she leaves Fukuzawa's control. This would set her back to being a weapon to be used by the Mafia.

She might be useful like that but probably not enough to make her worth choosing.

Kunikida

Why do I put Kunikida into the 'personal' category? Well, if Mori wants to rob Fukuzawa of his successor, here he is. 

Kunikida's ability is also useful and has been shown to work well, even if used by other people. Remember the Cannibalism Arc? Yeah.

As mentioned when talking about Atsushi; however, Kunikida's morals will likely prevent him from ever really working towards the benefit of the Mafia. I mean, the guy lost his arms and had reason to assume that his colleagues did not all make it and still didn't break. Good luck with him, Mori.

Who do I think would actually be the most beneficial to the Port Mafia? Tanizaki and, to a lesser extent, Kenji.

Kenji

I know, sweet Kenji. Seems a bit counter-intuitive, but hear me out.

Kenji is shown to have no qualms demolishing his enemies. Sure, he's sweet and honest and innocent and whatnot. He's also fairly simple. I don't doubt that Mori would find a way of manipulating him into doing the Mafia's bidding. This isn't to say that he's stupid, I don't believe that. But he weirdly reminds me a little bit of 15-year-old Chuuya. And we all know how that turned out. 

Also, having someone like him, that can walk into any situation without seeming at all threatening, wouldn't do the Mafia much harm.

Now, I don't really believe Mori would choose Kenji. Superstrength is great and all, but the Mafia has better fighters already. 

Also, there still is

Tanizaki

Now, Tanizaki Jun'ichirō is the one I believe Mori might actually choose.

He has been shown to have some serious murderous intent when it comes to protecting his sister. Also, as Hirotsu has so nicely commented: His ability is incredibly suited for assassinations. 

If the Port Mafia takes in Naomi and promises to keep her save, her brother might eventually work for them willingly. And he'd be damned good at it. Look at how he went for Mori in the Cannibalism Arc. My boy has no qualms to do what he deems necessary.

Even outside of assassinations, his ability has proven beneficial. Remember how he went for Higuchi after she hurt Naomi? Not the fighter type, sure.

Also, 18 is still fairly young and gives Mori time to shape him how he wants. So yeah, I think Tanizaki would be the best choice for the Port Mafia.

All that being said, I could also see a lot of the others as possibilities. 

Also, I acknowledge that I may have missed some pieces of information. I wanted to post this a while ago but, um... I forgot. 

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E #4 - U N P R E T T Y

A K U T A G A W A

“You can’t just keep running away from me.” You would finally break the deafening silence, your hand grasping onto his wrist preventing him from walking away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Akutagawa would argue stubbornly, ripping his hand away from you. “This. This is exactly what I’m talking about. The second things get uncomfortable, you leave me. You leave me here to worry, to fret, to make myself sick over whether or not you’re safe.” Towards the end of your statement, your voice would grow thick with emotion, the tears betraying you as they rushed to the surface of your eyes. You didn’t like arguing with him. You didn’t like spending your limited time being upset with one another, but this was necessary. Communication was necessary. “I’m going crazy, Aku. Just please. Please let me in and then maybe I could understand, maybe I could help. I just feel like you’re holding me captive here,” Akutagawa would let out a dark, humorless snort as he would turn around to stare at you menacingly. “Captive? Prisoner? Worry? What you don’t understand is that I’m trying to keep you safe. There is a big fat target on my back at all times, Y/N. And because you’re stupid enough to associate with me, that means there’s one on your back as well. Do you have any idea how much I worry about you? How often I rack my brain trying to assure that your safety comes first?” His words were laced with desperation, his hard exterior crumbling before your eyes as you watched him deteriorate. This was the first time he had really let his guard down to tell you all this. “Aku, I can take care of myself—“

“I don’t think you understand that you are my life now, Y/N. I will protect you at all costs. I will do whatever it takes. You-You don’t see the monsters I see everyday, you don’t know of how ugly this world really is. The only reason why I know is because I am the ugly and the evil.” Dropping his head in his hands, your mouth would drop. How could he say that about himself? “You are not ugly and evil. You’re good. Your heart is warm, and your soul is pure. You’ve just been through a lot and have some wounds to heal and that’s why I’m here.” Lifting his chin with your thumb and forefinger, you would be surprised by the tears that trickled down his cheeks. “I just wish you knew how much you mean to me. I’m not doing all of this to make you feel imprisoned, I’m just trying to protect you.” He would sniffle, tortured eyes locking on your own. “I know you are. I’m sorry for getting upset with you. I just need an explanation as to why all of this is necessary, Aku, you understand, correct?” You would ask, watching as he nodded his head slowly. “I just don’t want to lose you.” He would whisper softly, his eyes darting away from yours that were filled with compassion and understand that he just felt he didn’t deserve. “You’re never gonna lose me.” Were your last words before you pressed your lips to his, electricity radiating through both of your body’s.

-

D A Z A I

“I can see so much going on in that head of yours.” You would smooth the wrinkles between his furrowed brows, your fingertips gently tracing down his face. “And yet, you continue to selfishly keep me out. Quit leaving me in the dark, Dazai. Please let me know the real you.” Your pleading words would cause him to wince, his eyes clamping shut in pain. You wanted to know the real him, but were you prepared? Prepared to know who he really was? Prepared to know what he’d done? Prepared to know that he himself was a killer? “There are things that are better unheard and unsaid sometimes.” Turning back to his desk, his face white as a ghost, you would stare at him first in shock then with anger. “You know what? Enough.” Slamming his laptop closed and pushing the papers off the desk in a blinding rage, you would swing his chair around so that he was forced to look at you. “I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of not being able to help you. Enough of watching the pain in your eyes knowing there’s not a damn thing I can do to help you recover from the things that you have seen. I want to help you. I don’t care if you think I’ll see you differently, I don’t care if you expose me to something that you don’t think I’m prepared for, all I care about is you and you alone. And I’m exhausted of trying to read between the lines. I’m not Rampo, Dazai. You need to free yourself at once and tell me before it’s too late because I swear to god if I have to be the one that buries you six feet under, I’m going to piss on your grave.” These were words he had never knew you were capable of saying, the harshness intertwined with the urgency showing him that you were no longer going to endure being left in the dark. It was words he never wanted to hear, but words he needed to. Words to know that you meant business for once and for all. Dropping before you to his knees, he would clutch your slacks with his fists, tears racking through his body as he hid his face in your knees. “D-Dazai...”You would say in surprise never seeing him before in this state. Hands finding your way to his head, your fingers would stroke through his shaggy locks desperately trying to calm him but it wouldn’t let out. Soon, you would join him on the ground where he would tell you his story without breaking eye contact the entire time, fearful the moment he looked away you would have time to perceive him as the monster he knew he was. “You are a different person now, my love. Nothing will ever change what you mean to me. Your heart is pure.” You would utter, pulling him to your chest as you comforted his tortured soul. It was not too often Dazai allowed you to coddle him as he always enjoyed the feeling of coddling you, but this time he was too tired to fight it. Relaxing into your arms, he would let out a sigh, his eyes closing as he drank in your sweet aroma. “Don’t ever leave me Y/F/N. I really think my reason to exist would cease completely the day you were to walk away.” Pressing his head against your heart, he would sigh peacefully at the soft thuds, thankful he had you in his life. “I will never leave, Osamu Dazai. Not ever.”

-

C H U U Y A

“What is wrong with you?” His words would be calm, though it would be blatantly obvious that a storm was brewing behind his words, the anger building with each syllable. “You always asks me what’s wrong, what’s going on, if I’m okay when you should really be asking yourself that. What’s wrong with you, Y/N? Are you really so mentally unhinged that you would really allow yourself to stay with someone who’s main purpose in life is to serve the Port Mafia to kill and to be a weapon? Do you really even hear yourself sometimes?” His words were cruel, his temper unyielding as he stared spitefully back at you hoping to warrant some kind of reaction. Much to his dismay, however, you would simply just stand there, staring back at him blankly. “Are you even listening to me? Y/N, I don’t understand how someone as intelligent as you could really choose to be so stupid. I am one of the most powerful people in this affiliation and with power comes danger, yet you stick around. You’re so idiotic and naive,” You could hear the desperation in his voice as you continued to stare at him, your eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “That is quite enough, Chuuya.” Taking a step towards him, he would gulp at the calmness in your eyes. How were you not even flinching at his words? “You may frighten everyone else, but you don’t for a second frighten me. I know who you are. I know what I was signing up for the moment I fell in love with you and learned the truth. I am not stupid. I am not dumb. I am not idiotic. I am not naive. Which is why I can see what you’re doing: you’re trying to push me away because YOU are the one that is scared. But you have met your match, Chuuya-San. Because I am just as stubborn as you and I will never allow you to push me away. So, do your worse. Hurt me. Tear me apart. Damage me. You won’t do anything to make me leave you; to make me love you less.” He would stare at you, mouth parted in horror, eyes scintillating with complete fear. Very few had ever been willing to stand up to him like this; to put him in his place with little difficulty. Among these people you were the least intimidating and yet, he had never once felt the need to relinquish so much in his life. He had messed with the wrong person. “Y/N, I—“ He would choke before taking a step toward you, his face unreadable to most. You, however, could see the desperation hiding under those cold features. He didn’t mean it, of course he didn’t. He was only scared, you knew this. He needed you, arguably more than you needed him. Approaching him, you would grab his head and crush it to your chest giving him a tight, sincere embrace. Body melting into you, Chuuya would fight the tears that brimmed to your eyes. You were thankful he couldn’t see yours. “I’m sorry, Y/F/N. I don’t deserve you.” He would utter, lifting his head to meet your own wet eyes. Kissing away your rolling tears, he would pause as you began to shake your head. “That’s when we get into trouble, Chuuya. Can’t you just understand that we deserve each other? That we’re both lucky to love one another?” This would make him smile, as he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “We are very fortunate, indeed.”



[dazai-fics]

May I request some headcanons about Dazai being protective over his s/o? Maybe a new enemy is trying to target them because of their ability or hurt them in some way? How would he react to all of this? I hope I’m not being too specific? I apologize if I am xO

Not at all bby the more specific the better it makes my job just a bit easier !💖💖 :) I decided to turn this into a small scenario if you don’t mind 💕

I’ll Always Protect You

Warnings: mild violence

It had been a rather slow week at the agency for everyone. No incoming threats from the Mafia or any other small gangs looking to stir up trouble; just pure calm.

But as they say: there’s always calm before a storm.

You sighed as you sat at your desk and finished up the report you had been working on for the last couple of hours. You wanted nothing more but to go home to your loving boyfriend who had left earlier due to finishing all his work up early for once.

Dazai was more than willing to wait until you were done but you urged him you would be done soon and to go home and get some much needed rest.

Contrary to popular belief, he actually worked himself pretty hard sometimes, too hard in your opinion and the fact that he also didn’t sleep very well at night meant he needed all the rest he could get and you were more than happy to give it to him.

Smiling at your completed work you locked up and began the trek to Dazai and yours shared apartment.

——————

Dazai hummed happily as the timer went off on the food he was currently cooking which happened to be your favorite food.

He wanted to show how appreciative he was of you and all that you do for him. The way you gently caress him after a nightmare, the crab and sake you always have prepared for him after a long day, and most importantly the way you so openly accept every part of him; even the parts of him that were in the mafia.

Checking the clock, Dazai noticed it was really late and that you should have been home by now; concern and paranoia beginning to set in as he hit your contact on his phone.

He called you twice and you still weren’t picking up which is when coincidentally an unknown number popped up on his phone which he answered immediately.

“Hello, who is this?” Dazai questioned hesitantly, a familiar growl meeting his ears causing him to laugh.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t my favorite hat rack~”

“Can it, Dazai! I’ve called to tell you we have (y/n) and we won’t give her back until we’re done using her for her ability!”

Dazais eyes widened considerably once it set in you were kidnapped by the mafia.

You were pretty strong and quite skilled in hand to hand combat for them to disharm you so easily, and as for your ability, it allowed you to turn any inanimate object you touched while your ability was on into a weapon of your choosing.

The mafia must have kidnapped you to get more advance weapons and even if that wasn’t the case no one, and I mean no one, hurts you or even touches you with the intent of malice and gets away with it; not with Dazai around to protect you with all his being.

He promptly was out the door and on his way to get you back from the Mafia.

——————

You groaned as you were punched once again by the brutal, short, hat wearing man.

You were taken by surprise by Chuuya and some of the Mafia henchmen on your way home and with no time to defend yourself, you were stuck in the situation you were in now; getting punched repeatedly by your boyfriend’s mortal enemy.

“Listen (y/n), I really don’t wanna hurt you but we need a certain weapon so just make it for us and I’ll let you go free, okay?”

You spat out the blood in your mouth that had built up and coughed.

“I guess you’re going to have to keep on hurting me then.”

Chuuya sighed but nonetheless got ready to pull another punch until he was struck in the back of the head with a shovel and promptly knocked out.

You gasped in shock but began to laugh gently when you saw your proud boyfriend standing there, shovel in hand.

“I’m sorry I took so long my belladonna, are you okay?”

He immediately broke off the chains restraining you and pulled you into his arms.

“Yeah I think so-”

You coughed up blood before you could finish while Dazai gently shushed you and rubbed a gentle hand on your back.

“You’re alright (y/n), I’m here now, I’m sorry it took me so long to get you.”

“Don’t apologize, Osamu; thanks for coming to get me I really appreciate.”

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek as he scooped you up in his arms and began to carry you back to the apartment.

You fell asleep on the way back but when you finally got home, Dazai got you into pajamas and treated your wounds while you slept.

“I’ll always protect you, my love,” he whispered as he kissed your forehead and brought you into his loving embrace.

—————

I hope you enjoyed and that this was okay!💗💗💗

[pyrten]

DAZAI OSAMU : QUICK CHARACTER STUDY

(At 3 AM in the morning and that's why it's messy, all over the place and generally, shit.)

Majority of the characters in BSD are morally grey, Dazai included. I'm unable to categorise characters into good or evil, which is what makes BSD really nice to watch.  

Majority of the instances, whenever I have an opinion on someone like Dazai, it's mainly based on their actions. I'll make an exception for his case because I believe he speaks the truth sometimes. 

It's seriously difficult to believe what someone like him says. His weapon is his intellect and his tongue. He could say this and do that instead. Obviously he isn't good at combat, but he could say something and have you on the hook.

He's cunning, sly and in general: a liar (sometimes). As for psychological manipulation… well, it's not something to be looked down upon since it's in our everyday lives.

DARK ERA

He has a more serious aura and was far more suicidal compared to ADA Dazai. He barely flinched when a bullet grazed his cheek. 

I won't even sugarcoat the fact that Dazai is an asshole. 

The way he treated Akutagawa is wrong. The training may have made him resilient, but his mental health isn't in an okay shape. In the end, he even upped and left him without an explanation (although, I think Akutagawa has an idea of why he left).  

Remember when he fired at the GSS captain? If I didn't count wrong, it was 13 shots (my dude over here desecrating a corpse). 

(I couldn't find the GIF of him shooting the corpse, so this is as close as I can get)

He does poke fun at Chuuya, and you can perhaps say that he does some good (but we've only seen a single good deed so far…).

He recognized that Chuuya was being manipulated by the Sheep and in his own way gave him a push. There was the part* when Shirase was talking and it zoomed in on Dazai, who had a wary, analyzing look on him. 

It's clear that the Sheep is quite dependent on him. They believe that Chuuya will be there to save them whenever they fuck up (ex. crossing the river to steal booze, when they know it's near the PM HQ, in result, getting a few of their members captured). They came looking for him to put it simply, beat up and save their comrades, which points towards the fact that they are using him for his ability. 

Shirase also said:

"People who hold more cards than others have a responsibility. Fulfill your responsibility as the one with the trump card called an ability."*

Which again, further points towards the fact that they are using him for his ability and somewhat guilt tripping him. 

Dazai later adds his own input.

"Amusing. You guys are truly amusing. He's by far the strongest among you, but he's like a sheep being stared down by wolves." 

Called out. 

It then changes to show Chuuya's face. Honestly he looks on guard, and I think he knows what they're trying to do, but it's a can of worms he would rather not open, y' know?  

Dazai then later says once more when Shirase is trying to convince Chuuya to kick the PM's ass.

"Give it a rest. He has the freedom to choose how he uses his ability. Even a child would understand that. There's no argument." 

And as a final attempt to convince Chuuya, he pulls the old guilt trip card, which Dazai and Chuuya ignore. 

"Don't forget, Chuuya! The Sheep who took you in when you had no identity and nowhere to go! 

When all of this is happening, Dazai knew Chuuya was being manipulated, and he also watered the seed of doubt with his actions, and in the end the Sheep turned their backs on Chuuya, which led to Chuuya joining the Port Mafia. 

I can say this was a small good deed, pulling Chuuya out, but the choice was Chuuya's and he just gave a push. 

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

Dazai isn't a naturally kind and virtuous person, but he's trying, for Oda (oh boy).

The way he handled Kyoka's situation wasn't all rainbows and confetti. 

I have a feeling he's trying to look at the bigger picture, to save people (perhaps because he blames himself for Oda's death, but I'll set that aside temporarily due to the time), but his methods aren't... nice. Atsushi has gotten hurt multiple times, Akutagawa too. In some ways, I suppose I can understand some things are unavoidable, but still. 

Compared to how he treated Akutagawa, he's far better with Atsushi. He's treating him the way Oda treated him. 

Atsushi has a completely different mindset compared to Akutagawa. He's a selfless person, he fights injustice. If Dazai tried to treat him the way he treated Akutagawa, I can confirm that isn't gonna turn out good. 

Besides, he's trying to become a better person. That, and he owes Akutagawa an apology.

From this part onwards, these are all flash thoughts that I wrote quickly because I'm falling asleep by the minute.

FLASH THOUGHT #1 :

Now that's over with… I don't particularly have anything to add on. So I'm going to move onto… uh, how do I word this, facade?

I said above that his weapon is his intellect. It's clear that whatever he has on can be fake, or real. Y'know that goofy, playful Dazai we all know. 

He's probably able to control his every movement and actions. Like, I cannot imagine Dazai doing something ACCIDENTALLY. Imagine that, someone who can control his own heartbeat, doing something accidentally (unintentionally, he never meant to do it, yeah that would be surprising).

But then again he's human… despite being a strategic and tactical genius… so yes, him doing something on accident would be interesting to watch.

Now if he miscalculated or like mistaken, uh, like that time, with the hiker, BSD Season 3. Then, yes that's understandable. 

FLASH THOUGHT #2:

Mk… facade and accidents are covered… uh… I'll talk about the power he had when he was 14, Dark Era Dazai.

… He had enough sway in the mafia since he was 14 (correct me if I'm wrong). He was allowed to be the sole witness of the Boss's final wish. SOLE WITNESS. A young boy at the age of 14 was allowed to be the sole witness. 

He was considered to be the youngest executive in the Port Mafia. If so, then why didn't the other executives (during the reign of the Old Boss) fight over the choice to be the witness of the Boss's death other than Mori. Perhaps the Old Boss didn't have executives, but that's unlikely.  

Now, that's something.  

FLASH THOUGHT #3:

Talking about suicide… I think Dazai doesn't want to die, but he does. He's failed so many suicide attempts, some of them being sabotaged, but what about the others. 

Since Dazai didn't have anyone around his age constantly (save for Oda and Ango, but several years later… perhaps when he was 16, seeing how Oda and Dazai knew each other during the Dragon's Head Rush), he only had victories of his missions and such to comfort his loneliness.  

I think that it's practically ingrained in him. 

Dying means winning and losing. Your life is finished. 

If that's the case, dying would mean he lost (but won). It's conflicting and confusing as hell, I know ;-; . I'm trying to explain my thoughts the best I can - . 

When Chuuya came around, his loneliness was, um, calmed, a little. 

Oda died and gave him a reason to live.

I think he still feels a little lonely though.

That's the end. I'll be out like a light in about 3 mins so I'll just, drop a GIF and go before I start pressing anything on accident.

Yep, okay, bye bye.

oh, I forgot the hashtags, um .

Hashtags added.

Good night. :D

[avereas]

you make falling look good, baby [1/5]

10 soukoku drabbles from a softer world prompts

rating: mature word count: 1000 words total

read on ao3

“Wow, Chuuya, you really did it.” The admiration in Dazai’s voice is intoxicating, like the fruity tones of a good merlot. “An entire organisation, that’s—”

Chuuya may be half-dead from Corruption but he could never resist a jibe against Dazai. “What, this wasn’t in your plans?”

Dazai’s stare is inscrutable. “You weren’t in my plans.”

Chuuya’s chest is thudding: he’s unsure if it’s pain, adrenaline, or the darkness of Dazai’s eyes.

But Dazai smiles at him, slow and bright and beautiful.

“One day, all this will be ours,” he says, throwing his arm out at the glittering lights of Yokohama.

Chuuya has never claimed to understand Dazai, but he knows Dazai as he knows the breath in his own lungs. Dazai is more predictable than he thinks: Chuuya runs his thumb over Dazai’s lips; Dazai parts them. Chuuya lets his hand sink into Dazai’s hair and pulls; Dazai moans.

Chuuya pries the truths out from Dazai’s body, finding neither ambition nor greed but childish lamentations of why, why, why. Why indeed? Why choose this world of death to teach yourself how to live?

But— “This is what you deserve,” Chuuya mutters, and he feels Dazai’s laugh through his shaking ribcage.

They’re running through Chinatown and their tail is difficult to shake. Chuuya’s out of breath; Dazai had to be in worse shape.

Dazai drags Chuuya into an alleyway.

“Hey,” Chuuya squawks as he feels Dazai’s hands on his belt.

“They’ll never recognise us like this,” Dazai tries to purr. His voice is too unsteady to be sexy. He drops to his knees. “Cover your hair. Be loud.”

Moments later, two thugs peer in. Chuuya doesn’t notice as they chuckle bawdily and leave.

He does notice when Dazai abruptly zips him up and stands.

“Time to go.” Dazai grins at him.

“I’d die for you,” Dazai says.

Chuuya doesn’t look up from his video game. “Funnily enough, that doesn’t mean anything coming from you.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees Dazai beam at him as he pulls out his tofu block from its mould. “I think that should be enough nigari right, Chuuya? Chuuya? Chuu— ya—!”

“Go die.”

“As much as it pains me to have spent my last moments with you,” Dazai says, “the call of the killer tofu is too much to resist. I don’t want flowers at my funeral.”

He smashes his head into a corner.

“Dazai?” Chuuya shakes him. “Dazai!”

Dazai’s eyelashes flutter before his gaze sharpens on Chuuya. “Took you long enough.” His voice is raspy and weak. Chuuya hates it. Chuuya kneels down and offers his back to him.

“Come on,” Chuuya urges. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll buy you as much crab meat as you want.”

Dazai finally manoeuvres himself onto Chuuya’s back. They’re nearly out of the building when Dazai mumbles something into Chuuya’s hair.

“What?”

“Ice cream,” Dazai murmurs. “I want crab ice cream.”

“You’re shameless,” Chuuya grumbles, but he’s relieved when he feels Dazai's smile against his neck.

“I must say,” Dostoyevsky croons, “I was disappointed to find that Dazai has taken up with you again.”

“He's not yours,” Chuuya growls.

“Not like how you'd like him to be yours, I expect,” Dostoyevsky says. “But how does it feel to know that you'll never catch up with his mind? That you’ll never know him the way I do?”

“You don’t know him at all.”

“You think the white outfit was playing dress-up?” Dostoyevsky seems amused. “He was ours, after he left you.”

“What do you want?” Chuuya snaps.

Dostoyevsky shrugs. “I’d like to play a game with him.”

When Dazai gets deep into his thoughts, his eyes shutter and he draws into some corner within himself, somewhere that Chuuya can never reach. It’s rare for something to present that much of a challenge to Dazai. When Chuuya obnoxiously leans into his space and demands an answer, he gets only a blink and a mumbled “Mimic”.

Chuuya kisses him.

Dazai opens up under him, almost sweetly, until Chuuya can see the cogs stop turning in Dazai’s mind. Good.

“I’m off to Nagoya now,” Chuuya informs him.

“Bye, Chuuya,” Dazai says distractedly, which is what worries Chuuya most of all.

Dazai pushes Chuuya out of the way of a bullet and narrowly misses getting hit himself. Afterwards, he disappears for thirty-three days.

On the thirty-fourth, he turns up to training.

Chuuya stares at his wild eyes, the bags under them; he notices involuntary twitches that Dazai never had, before. He touches Dazai on the shoulder and Dazai jerks away violently. Chuuya withdraws his hand from his partner, a little hurt.

“What happened to you?”

Dazai stares coolly at him. “Nothing. Mind your own business.”

“I just— want to help.”

“Then don’t touch me again,” Dazai says, and he walks away.

Chuuya pushes Dazai down and bites at Dazai’s lip.

Dazai stops dead. “Ow, that hurts,” he complains. “I can’t believe you’d bite me after I bought you that Cheval Blanc to get you into bed.”

Chuuya licks at the abused flesh and Dazai seems mollified, melting under him until—

“You’re killing my arm,” Dazai moans. “For a small person, you sure are—”

Chuuya shifts away and presses his lips against Dazai’s mouth. He threads one hand into Dazai’s hair and with the other, he reaches down for—

“My hair,” Dazai yelps dramatically. “Hurts!”

“Why are you like this,” Chuuya groans.

Lady Justice wears a blindfold too, but her brand of justice is not a weapon. Her vulnerability does not unspool warmth from Chuuya’s stomach like this; her fingers do not draw hunger as they trail across Chuuya’s cheek. Her touch could not render Chuuya into prey: only Dazai could lose one of his senses and still metamorphose into a predator.

Dazai, the height of impartiality: free from desire, loyal to nothing. Dazai’s words are his sword; Chuuya steals them from his mouth. His mind is his balance; Chuuya wants that, too.

He’d take all of Dazai, if Dazai lets him.

[apanthropinizing]

Traitor Chuuya AU

//tw mentions of torture (unspecified)

Years after Dazai has left the Mafia, Chuuya finally decides to leave the organization

Chuuya had been preparing for this day for a month, slowly taking on less and less missions and passing it down to his subordinates. He stored some basic needs in a fake tile in his washroom. Chuuya had been saving up extra cash every now and then ever since Dazai had left, which made his stash of cash, and weapons that he stole off the enemies he fought, quite large

Dazai, before he left, made Chuuya promise that even if he wasn’t ready to escape and leave the Mafia behind right now because of his debt, he would escape before it got even worse, unless he wanted Dazai to physically drag him away. They parted ways on bittersweet terms, and kept up the guise that they hated each other by blowing up his new car (which hurt him in places he didn’t know existed)

The executive leaves during early morning hours (3-4 am) since the night was usually when the Mafia carried out their most secretive missions, but he was unaware that Elise was set on him, following him silently. Because she’s an ability, the sixth sense that he had honed wouldn’t notice anything too strange

He then goes to meet a person that would help him vanish, who turns out to be Ango. Ango is hesitant to help him, but Dazai had also secretly convince Ango to help out, refusing to tell Chuuya he had been pulling strings until he reached the ADA safely

Elise listens in on their conversation and contacts Mori, who says that he’ll be there. Chuuya and Ango talk about what he needs to do to stay undercover and make sure that no one found out about his past so that he could live in the real world on the good side

Elise injects a poison into Ango when he gets Chuuya to agree to the conditions, and Chuuya leaps into the defensive as Mori creeps out of the shadows.

Chuuya realizes that there’s no way he can get out of this unscathed, but he attempts to anyways. He says that he’ll go to the government and reveal everything about the Port Mafia, but Mori simply laughs and says that Chuuya knows that the reason why the government turns a blind eyes is because he has the certificate allowing them to exist. Plus, if he ever did go, corrupt politicians would be on the Port Mafia’s side, not to mention the fact that Mori would reveal Chuuya’s extensive file of crimes to the public, also destroying him in the process

Chuuya is distracted long enough for Elise to also attempt to inject him, but doesn’t realize that she had already injected him before, and his eyes widen as Mori activates what was in the substance she had put in before, making neurotransmitters slow him down and make it hard for him to stay standing. He collapses on the ground and on his knees

Before Mori can touch him, Chuuya’s eyes fly open as he activates Corruption. The blood-like carvings stretch around him, but he can’t even generate his black ball of gravity destruction before he falls on the ground again as they vanish. Chuuya’s vision fades away as he can hear Mori tell someone to kill Ango and hunt down Dazai

Chuuya wakes up strapped to a chair and tortured by Mori. Mori decides to kill Ango slowly in front of him as Chuuya is forced to choose between pain to himself or Ango. the days drag on as he can no longer process anything but pain and anguished screaming. Eventually, he can no longer even scream and falls silent right after Ango dies. Mori drags him away from a surgical table and bed

Chuuya once again wakes up, but in his own room this time. His memories are wiped and altered to make him believe that it was actually Dazai and Ango who had tortured him to confess to what the Port Mafia has done, and he doesn’t recall anything about how wanted to escape

Once again, he tried to chase his wish, his dream, that slipped through, but with no avail. Chuuya was stopped, knowing that this was where his attempt would end. However, that would not stop him from trying.

“Mori, I will go to the special abilities department and reveal everything I know, if you do not let me and Ango go right now.” Chuuya threatened, feeling slightly unease underneath his brave facade.

The greasy bastard merely laughed in his face. “Oh please Chuuya-kun, there’s not to say that you wouldn’t have done it after you successfully fled anyways. Plus, you know how easily i could destroy your hope and new life, even if you do manage to survive and escape.”

“I doubt the Mafia would keep paper copies.” 

Black eyes glinted dangerously. “But who says we don’t? There are always traces left behind. Chuuya-kun. Perhaps I could release your crimes out to the public in answer to your threat, and I can watch as your world falls apart. the victims, the cops, the public, who will all tear you to shreds. Maybe I’ll even drag in the incompetent Dazai-kun to make the dish even better.”

Chuuya hesitated with the mention of Dazai’s name.

A flash of metal shot up in the corner of his eyes, reaching up for his neck. His body twisted with impossible speeds and slammed Elise into a brick wall. An indent was left as she slid down, giggling quietly in a high pitch. Beside him on the floor was a shattered container filled with bright green liquid soaking the grits. Her clothes were dirty and her silky blonde hair was soaked with something like blood, although Chuuya knew that this brat wasn’t human at all.

Elise’s giggle sent shivers down Chuuya’s spine and with her deadened eyes staring back at him as she tilted her head ever so slightly didn’t help him feel any more comfortable. They flashed behind him, and back on his face. Her painted lips spread into an eerie grin.

“What the fu-” The executive collapsed on his knees, suddenly seeing the blurry ground as the fluid seeped through his black dress pants. His vision violently blurred as dizzy spells made it impossible for him to think. Chuuya’s head felt like it was filled with cotton, and he was close to falling over.

He didn’t know what was going on, and to be honest, it was absolutely fucking terrifying.

“Don’t swear in front of children Chuuya-kun.” Mori’s tone was casual, almost even teasing, but it held an undertone of anger and possesiveness. This was the voice that woke Dazai up in the middle of the night screaming and flailing until Chuuya tentatively wrapped his arms around his lanky torso. And now, faced with it here, Chuuya understood why Dazai was so traumatized.

He would not go down without taking down Mori with him. Even if he didn’t make it to ADA, Chuuya wanted to get rid of one monster in this world.

“O Grantors of Dark Disgrace, do not wake me again.”

Power surged through his weakened body, as etched bloody marks stretched all around his body. Chuuya stood up and prepared to throw a ball of destruction towards Mori, no matter if it tore through his gloves or not. The executive could feel himself slipping and surrendering to Corruption. There would be no one to stop him as he raged on.

He was powerful.

And then he wasn’t.

Chuuya crumpled to the ground, unable to even lift his head. Numbness spread throughout his body and he could see the marks receding through his blackening vision. 

Corruption had failed.

“Oh Chuuya-kun. You’ve been so naive haven’t you? There was no way we could let you go unchecked... neurotransmitters in your blood take care of your notorious uncontrollable ability, although I never thought I would need it for something like this.” Mori stepped on Chuuya’s leg as he struggled feebly. 

A heaviness weighed him down stronger than any gravity he had ever manipulated. With this, Chuuya had finally been neutralized.

“It was a mistake crossing the Mafia Chuuya-kun. Now you must pay the price.”

Chuuya could no longer open his eyes, but the last thing he heard before he passed out was Mori’s final orders

“Toss Ango-kun in the trunk and dispose of him later. And as for Dazai-kun, make sure you find him, and kill him on the spot. I’ve had enough of the traitors in this organization.”

“From now on, there’s no more playing nice.”

Soukoku Week: Day 4- Memento Mori | “Once again. I chase my wish that slips through” (Eien Misui Ni Good Bye)