#Chuuya definitely laughed his ass off over it

[orionthenightfury]

Imagine.. you're taken to a warehouse or something by a couple dangerous, armed criminals. You hadn't paid what you owed, and now you had to answer to a Port Mafia excutive. To your surprise, you're met with a short ginger boy quite literally dragging a taller, brown-haired boy covered in bandages over. They're bickering between each other, but eventually, reluctantly, he's stood in front of you. The Osamu Dazai, in the flesh. The shorter teen elbows his side with a glare, and he groans. "It'th time to phay your debt." You laugh, and then you end up biting the curb.

[felibrary]

LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR - chuuya nakahara

synopsis: if you wouldn't know any better you'd think that chuuya nakahara doesn't take a liking to you - he loathes you. but what if one day you make a shocking discovery that it might be the opposite.

pairing: chuuya nakahara x gn!reader | wordcount: 1.2k | content & warnings: im at the first ep of s4, so if chuuya mischaracterized no need to wonder…, school au-ish kind of??, cursing (fuck), dazai teases chuuya for his crush, chuuyas kinda not rly good with his feelings and expressing himself, drinking (chuuya offering to go out and drink), dazai plays cupid/matchmaker

a/n: when i wrote this i didn't have 15 yo dazai or chuuya in mind (cause of the school au yk) just as them idk but interpret it however you like - high school or college wtv, im so obsessed with chuuya rn y'all don't even know, hope u guys enjoy this little thing i've whipped up in an hour

you're convinced that chuuya nakahara hates you.

that's one thing you're sure of. after all, he avoids you like the plague; however when the two of you do get in touch with one another, he starts cursing you out, calling you names such as “dumbass" and abruptly leaves.

yeah, you're pretty sure that that guy dislikes - if not despises you. although until now you've hadn’t had the slightest idea why. well, that was the case up until now.

some days have passed since you started noticing it. every time you hung out with dazai and started laughing a bit too loudly at his jokes or lightly slapped his shoulder, chuuya gave you a death stare - if you wouldnt know any better he looked like he’d grab your throat any minute to shut you up.

admittedly (and also embarrassedly) you never really noticed it until dazai has pointed it out. which, on one hand, explains the weird feeling you’ve recently gotten - it felt like someone was shooting daggers at the back of your head, luckily for you, that’s solved now.

but on the other hand, you still demand an explanation why chuuya would do that. is it simply because of his (one-sided) hatred towards you, that can’t be the case right? or did he have a huge crush on dazai, that’s the most realistic explanation that you can think of.

-

once school ended and the bell had just rung to release everyone from their classes and go back home. you’d usually scurry home right away, because there was no point in staying longer, after all who’d want to endure this hell house also known as school more than necessary, it's no use right?

well jokes on you, staying over time was definitely worth it. kunikida assigned you the task (forced) to carry a huge stack of boxes full of documents and paper to your homeroom teacher's room, because it was the “right” thing to do - well at least according to his ideals. 

“but what about dazai? that idiot  just ran off and is probably slacking off right now!” you protested, because it's not fair when everyone has a task to complete and someone else just gets to relax, right? 

at your complaint the blond could only scoff “i’ll scold him later, but for now let's just concentrate on the task in front of us, time is running out.”

-

that’s how you ended up here, back pressed against the heavy classroom door that separated you and the two guys that were inside the room as you tried to listen in into their conversation.

initially your plan was to find dazai, drag him by the collar of his white button up and beat his ass for skipping and leaving you alone with a ton of boxes that not only cost you ten minutes to carry around or so.

because neither kunikida or anyone else didn’t bother to tell you that there were three, fucking three, of those staples of boxes that were filled with countless papers.

however, it came to a change of plans upon hearing chuuyas’ voice. usually, any sound that was made inside of the classrooms was drowned out and barely audible to hear outside the room. 

this time, that didn’t seem to be the case though. chuuyas’ screaming and dazais' hysterical laughter were faint but loud enough to hear from outside the room. 

“come on chuuya, there's no need denying it, you have a massive crush on them.” dazais’ voice was laced with amusement as he started laughing out loud which seemed to piss the redhead off. 

you were able to hear a small huff that escaped dazais mouth. “chuuya, there’s really no need to start getting all violent, just admit that you’re absolutely whipped for them!” the brunette chuckled. “so stop kicking me in the balls!” that probably earned him another kick as you could hear dazai letting out a small “ouch.”

“shut up, shitty dazai.” the guy in question only snickered at that. “yeah, yeah. everyone’s able to tell that you’re madly in love with them. every time you’re around them you start to get beet red, the color even exceeds the one of your hair! a hilarious sight to look at, really.” 

you didn’t hear a response from chuuya and apparently neither did dazai so he just continued his rant. “also, let me tell you one thing, you’re not making it any better by cussing them out or intently staring at them, that’s just scary, man!” dazai closes his eyes and starts shaking his head before tutting in disappointment.

“oh chuuya. the brunette sighs, eyes still closed. “letting a beauty like them slip away this easily by not showing any proper interest. you’re to be pitied, really.” the male moves away from his previous position and bolts over to the door, crossing his arms as his back leans against the door.

an exasperated sigh leaves chuuyas mouth. “what do you expect me to do then? they probably have a horrible impression of me already. if i pull up with a bouquet of roses and some cliché pick up lines, they’d probably stare at me in horror, wondering if i got possessed or something.” he sneers at dazai. 

just who in the world are they talking about?

dazai pretends to think for a moment before snapping his fingers. “well for starters, how about greeting them, doesn’t even have to be verbal, just some waving or nodding. then start hanging out with them!”

“idiot! how's that supposed to work from just greeting each other!” the ginger scowls at dazai.

“hold your horses.” the brunette whistles. “i didn't say to rendez-vous and have a candle-light dinner. how about accepting those group invites first that you keep declining. then you’d have the chance to meet up with them more often and get to know them.”

dazai continues to advise chuuya by giving him tips and recommendations “try bonding over stuff with each other, like favorite shows or food. and if you’re not incapable of doing so, how about complimenting them. wouldn't hurt you know?” dazai shrugs in simplicity. 

chuuyas still skeptical “assumingly that was the case. the two of us attending the same party, they’re alone and i finally get the chance to approach them, what the fuck am i supposed to say?” dazai only smiles at chuuya, a look that says “that’s up to you.” 

“why not use me as your lab rat!” dazai suggests optimistically.

“no way in hell!” chuuya shoots back pessimistically.

after pondering and musing for a while, chuuya comes up with a curt sentence. “i find you really good looking and cool.” the redhead stops and both you and dazai await his continuation in anticipation. “wanna go out and grab drinks sometimes?” chuuya doesn’t look up from the floor which he’s been staring at for the past minute. the tips of his ears tinted in a vermillion red.

“well, that wasn't so hard was it?” dazai asks cheerily, clapping his hands together. “if you still have doubts, how about you try it on the real thing now?” and before you can realize what's going on dazai swiftly steps away from the door before grabbing the door handle and opens the door, revealing your figure to the two guys. 

you’re not sure who's more taken aback, you or chuuya.

© VYNICITY 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.

e/n: as y’all can tell the title is inspired by frozen's love is an open door cause y’know dazai opens the door for chuuya to confess his feelings. does this make sense lol??

[petitesmafia]

hc the first time that Dazai sleeps over at Chuuya’s apartment is honestly by accident— he's lounging around to annoy his partner, plopping down on Chuuya’s bed and joking about how he should steal one of Chuuya's many luxury pillows. he replies that he’ll just rest his eyes for a bit when Chuuya asks what he’s doing, but then he actually falls asleep.

Dazai later stirs awake (still feeling drowsy) to see Chuuya’s clock showing that it’s a little after 5AM, and he’s taken aback bc he hasn't been able to sleep that well undisturbed in a long, long time. he turns to his right to see a sprawled out Chuuya, mouth open (is that drool??), lightly snoring, his leg stretched over Dazai’s (it’s clear that Chuuya tried to be considerate and leave him more room by the way he’s awkwardly angled, but he moves in his sleep so. well.)

Dazai softly laughs and turns his body towards Chuuya, fondly musing over how ugly he is (he’s not serious about this) and how he’ll definitely tease Chuuya for it tomorrow (he’s serious about this) before he dozes off again,,,

(Dazai only wakes again when it’s almost 7AM and he feels Chuuya trying to pull himself out of his grasp, muttering, “OI wtf is wrong with this guy? Get off of me. I need to get ready for work.”

Dazai doesn’t budge. “What are they gonna do,” he sleepily replies, “fire you?”)

[BONUS - the following night]

Chuuya, arriving home to see Dazai lounging on his couch: what are you doing here AGAIN??? Dazai: for a sleepover ^-^ Chuuya: says who Dazai: me Chuuya: this is my house Dazai: okay? good for you

Dazai: don’t flatter yourself btw I’m only here to use your amenities and for your king sized bed (half truths) Chuuya: get your shameless ass to a hotel then Dazai: why would I do that when I can stay here for free Chuuya: says who Dazai: me

[sabh0]

"If you want me to talk solely about the manga vs anime skk"

I do, actually.

Please.

Pretty please with a cherry on top.

PART 1.

Aight!! I will be just pointing out some differences/stuff that was deleted from the anime.

Under the cut

THE DUNGEON SCENE:

-When they first meet again in the manga, they throw some silly jokes at each other (like Dazai asking Chuuya if he's hiding a bald spot. And Chuuya just taking his hat off to show him he's, in fact, not balding)

-In the manga when Chuuya calls Dazai the youngest mafia executive, in his mind Dazai is wearing his ADA clothes but keeps the black coat and the bandaged eye. I think it's a very silly detail

-In the anime, in anger Chuuya actually cuts Dazai's cheek with his knife. In the manga, the moment he starts getting angry he jumps away from Dazai and then throws the knife to the floor, not touching him at all

-Manga Chuuya falls to his knees (basically standing on all 4s), having a lil crisis after realizing Dazai only stayed in the dunegon to meet him. He gets up in a while, just to yet again squat on the floor after Dazai yapps more

-Obviously the pigeon-stand scene: in the manga Dazai is laughing to tears at this, while in the anime he stays silent. (Tho i must say i find it funny that Chuuya gets angry over Dazai not laughing,, like he tried so hard and this guy just :| him)

LOVECRAFT FIGHT:

-This is not about skk but lord yall know that panel where Chuuya ie standing on all these Guild ppl being all like im gonna beat ur ass next. He's just standing normally on the floor in the anime. Aughhhhh this panel is so good aughhhh. Ok anyway back to skk

-When Dazai nullifies John's ability, in the anime Chuuya just kicks Steinbeck from behind. In the manga, skk perform that silly move where Chuuya jumps from behind Dazai. It just shows how even after 4 years of not working with each other, they instantly work together as well as before

-Skk arguing about who's walking next to who like some preschoolers ('dont walk next to me' 'its you who's standing next to me' typa thing) then deciding that they're gonna stay at least 2 metres away from each other

-The manga clearly shows Chuuya's expression when he's talking about 'being happy when Dazai left'. He definitely doesn't look very happy. (In the anime we just get some background drawings)

-Manga Chuuya's lil blush when Dazai compliments his taste in shoes 😭😭

-When Dazai asks for Chuuya's knife, in the manga Chuuya just goes 'oh sure lemme find it' and is actually ready to give him the knife. In the anime? Chuuya doesn't search for the knife, instead he just gets annoyed

-Anime deleted the scene where Dazai talks to Chuuya about recording Kunikida while he was cursed with Q's ability. Chuuya going bruh he also annoys ppl in the agency

-those two idiots calling each other stupid nicknames for half of a page

-Chuuya mentioning keeping a track of women Dazai made cry and threatening him with sending them Dazai's address????

-Dazai telling Chuuya that his intelligence will be consumed by his hat (im currently looking at my polish version of the manga so the translation may be a bit off but anyway)

-Before activating Corruption, they yet again call each other a bunch of stupid nicknames (ahah consider this a silly form of goodbye if anything happens)

-Remember my post about Dazai keeping his eyes on Chuuya at all times during Corruption in the manga? In the anime he looks either at John or at Lovecraft, no puppy eyed loser

-Just a mention that in the manga we see Chuuya sleeping while he's sitting, he doesn't flop passed out to the ground (until later)

Well i will stop there for now bc it's past midnight and umm this is gonna be long af if i continue with the rest so,, i will add the differences in the next skk interactions tomorrow or something muah

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

[ackermommy6]

Bungo stray dogs characters and their types

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒅-Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Oda, Fyodor.

Side note- sorry everyone, I’ve been so busy with work, then I got really sick. That’s why I haven’t been writing as much but I’m getting back into it! My requests are open though so y’all can request anything. Thank you for reading loves, hope you enjoy! 🫶

Dazai Osamu

Needs someone that can put up with his ass BAHHAHA

He likes all woman, he says but he does have a type.

Feel like he likes someone that can take care of themself, and also take care of him in a motherly way?

Basically he wants you to take care of him. He lovessss someone that can cook, clean, make him take care of himself.

He wants someone that can make him go do something and he can respect.

If your with Dazai, you kinda gotta act like his mother. 😭

Someone that can put up with his silliness and be the same sometimes.

This man is touched starved, so he needs someone that can cuddle him, touch his hair, kiss him all the time.

Needs someone that can understand him. After all Dazai is not a very understanding person. No one really knows Dazai, even if your close to him. But he needs someone that can understand him like non other.

Chuuya Nakahara

Chuu likes someone that can take care of themself.

He wants someone that’s sweet and caring but scary when needs to be, and knows how to take care of themself.

He would love someone that he can laugh with and be himself around because unfortunately he doesn’t get to do that often.

He’d want someone that is sweet, like taking care of a stray animal, helping someone in need.

He needs someone that can respect that he isn’t home a lot due to the mafia and wouldn’t be able to spend much time with them.

Someone that is romantic like him. He wants you to set the dinner table when he gets home and wine at the table too. He’d love to go on fancy dinner dates too.

Someone that doesn’t keep to themselves, is very honest to him. He wants to know everything that’s wrong and he will do the same. He’ll be very loyal and understanding.

Ranpo Edogawa

Like Dazai this man needs someone that can take care of him and his laziness. 😭

He needs someone that can take care of themself and him at the same time.

Clean the house, cook for him, make him his little desserts, he doesn’t know how to do much because he usually makes Fuzazawa come over and do everything. So yes he is clueless.

He wants someone that can bake. After all this man is obviously obsessed with candy and desserts.

Spoil him. Spoil him. Spoil him.

Needs someone that will get him candy, buy him things, cuddle him whenever he wants.

Has I thing for bossy people . 🤷‍♀️ Man is obsessed when you mouth off to someone.

He likes mature people and more laidback. He needs someone that can tell him to calm down when he’s getting out of hand.

Oda Sakunosuke

I’m his type, WHATTT???

anyway.

He’d want a calm person

Someone that’s artistic, if not it’s ok too!

Needs someone that likes kids and does good with them obviously.

Someone who he can do something very chill with him like watch the stars, take walks in the park, read books with him, take naps with him.

Like Chuuya he wants someone that is very sweet and loving. Someone that will help someone in need, while you do so he’ll watch with a smile.

Someone that is very neat and polite. We all know man is very tidy and he’d love someone that’s the same.

Most likely someone that isn’t in the mafia like him. He couldn’t take you getting hurt or killed.

Needs someone that is as understanding as he is.

fyodor dostoevsky

Someone that is patient, it’ll take little while for him to get used to you.

Someone that isn’t touched starved. I feel like he doesn’t like being touched and cuddling, maybe later into the relationship small things but definitely not at first.

Someone that’s creative and passionate like he is.

He doesn’t show his emotions a lot and he’s blunt. So he needs someone that won’t be upset if he says something a little to rude.

Who isn’t scared of him. Fyodor is a scary person, he wants someone that will think that he’s divine.

Fyodor likes someone that is going to be submissive, he is going to be dominant.

Likes someone mysterious, even if he’ll figure you out in no time. He still is very interested.

Someone that understands that he’s going to be distant, he’s literally a criminal and is on the run so he won’t be around much.

[iridescentdove]

I need a BSD x Reader where it’s just the reader casually rizzing up everyone like no one is safe from the reader’s infinite rizz, not the ADA, not the PM, not the DOA, not the guild, and definitely not the Hunting Dogs, not even civilians; it’s literally everyone that is getting rizzed up, while the reader is aware and laughs and points at every clown they rizzed up.

THE ULTIMATE RIZZLORD.

various!BSD x reader

A/N: anon, I would like to point out how much I love you and this request right now. also, I put the reader in the port mafia for fun because why not.

Absolutely speechless.

This is how everyone felt – well, whether whoever it may be, there was just one thing all could collectively agree on. They may all be feared and powerful factions that anyone could basically kneel down to, however ...

Who THE FUCK is this audacious person?

MORI was the first to witness your ass flirt with every single person you saw. But no, did you even care? Not at all. He stares, bewildered and mildly in concern as you came up to every single person you saw – completely distracted from the mission at hand as you asked women to step on you, choke you ...

He wants you throw you back from where you came from.

Oh wait, nevermind. You were now flirting with HIM. MORI is in even more shock at your confidence. Damn, pretty bold of you. But he actually thought you kinda hot fr. Elise still #1 bae tho

And somehow, you were taken up to being an executive. Everyone is morbid and utterly terrified.

How the fuck is someone like you an EXECUTIVE?? HELLO??

CHUUYA turns as red as his hair could ever be. Look man, he just wanted to complain about Dazai and you here just ..

"That fucking idiot Dazai! I'll rip him apart!"

"Yes daddy- I mean, can you do that to me too?"

"... What?"

"Ooh~ those fingers are so slender and pretty .."

"Wh-"

"Mind if I ... caress them a little, babygorl?"

"(Y/N) WHAT-"

Aww, look at that, Chuuya is deader than Odasaku <3

But God forbid you be taken on important missions against another factiom because fuck man. All you're there for is 1% fighting, 99% rizzing.

Y'know when everything was in chaos in Yokohama bcz of the Guild trying to take over? Everyone's fighting their ass off, God knows where DAZAI is but no one cares, and you?? Uh yeah already guessed it.

Tryna rizz up the agency.

Like yes, they're in trouble, everyone is, we know but fuck war we want fictional men. And women.

"Are you lingo? Because we can make a good duo 😏" - you

"... Did you just make a duolingo pickup line" - kunikida

Man times when the port mafia and the agency are in a truce, you're there back and forth flirting nonstop. Everyone is red, turned on from your oh so amazing rizzler skills

DAZAI enjoys your company obviously. Both of you create so much chaos, but even sometimes you're so much worse than him. You're the only one who can actually surprise him. Like wtf bitch stop flirting with the damn secret police?? Uh??

You make suicidal jokes, whispering them so sexily in his ear he wanna take you to the bed right there mamasita lip bite

Oh, the Decay of Angels wanna achieve world domination? They can dominate sumn else if you know what I mean

No words can express how terrified u keep making everyone THAT'S FYODOR HE'LL KILL YOU WITH A TOUCH BITCH- oh wait nvm he's melting from all of your rizz and affection.

You are literally so sweet but so confusing. SIGMA sees you around the Sky Casino just chilling and flirting with everyone you see. He don't mind cause you hot anyway

The Guild kinda ... actually, no. They're not safe. FITZGERALD? More like Rizzgerald cause this bitch 'bout to get rizzed so hard he turns poor

Yeah .. I don't take it to heart.

You'll just be up in their ass even after the Yokohama incident. Literally all of them both love and hate you. "Should we throw her off a cliff or kiss her" "Idk the second option is kinda tempting tho" "Boss, what do we d-" "Both."

DAMN LOVECRAFT AND BRAM TOO?? BITCH STOP 😭

No one can escape from your rizz. Okay one time you got kidnapped by the fuckin Hunting Dogs but you just?? Started to rizz up and call JOUNO ur bbygorl?? He is seconds from slicing your head off but he gave up at this point.

Where you got that rose from 🤨

Why the fuck is romantic music playing 😐

You asked FUKUCHI himself to choke you and slam you against the wall. Not even an ounce of regret of fear.

Everyone officially is scared of you.

ANGO isn't free from this either, bitch. You'll strut into the room all happy to talk for a mission and all but ... uhh. "So you're from the Special Division? I can't blame you then ... I feel as if I have something special going on for you."

ANGO, internally: iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp- iamnotasimp-

Sadly, he is now a simp.

The fact his face turns so red is not unnoticed by you. You laugh, clowning everyone you literally rizzed up no joke. They're so in love with ur pretty/handsome/hot ass 😔

No one is free. If you find a pretty bird, ask it's hand for marriage. There is no other way but that.

Mk but the way you literally hit on AKUTAGAWA do be funny. Bitch is so oblivious, he just thinks you're another certain blonde hair slaying bitch 😳

By the time he actually knows you're rizzing him up by being more direct about your advances, he is questioning life.

But bcz you're SOO close to DAZAI maybeee we can ...

Work sumn out, you know? heh

One day the mafia just be chilling and BOOM heree comes the wh00000re~ hello wh000re~ welcome~ 😍

(i am so sorry if this offends someone it's a meme-)

Cue everyone sighing as you come in and start your daily routine which is rizzing. You'll be caressing KOUYOU's cheek, talking to CHUUYA with that sexy ass deep voice, whispering in MORI's ear, and everytime you breathe the vine boom sound effect comes off.

Can't say they don't like it though. We all know we have some horny deviants lovestruck little cuties <3 but let's just say it's hard being here with those hoes 😔✌️

Yet most especially,

You.

*bites lip* (i am sorry.)

[hatsukeii]

Terushima and his stupid tongue piercing. He likes to act all nonchalant and cool with it, like he wasn’t about to shit his pants at the piercer’s when he saw the needle lining up with the little mark his piercer made on his tongue. When he realised that just the toothpick making the dot already felt…odd, it was already too late to turn back.

“Can’t believe you’re actually doing this.“

Terushima glared at you, then hunched in resignation. He knew it deep inside, he was a total bitch when it came to pain.

“If you need to, you can hold my hand until it’s done. Makes it easier.”

He took the offer with grace, hand shooting out to grab yours. The needle inched closer to his tongue, and his piercer began to say the dreadful words.

“Now, breathe in through your nose.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, his hand gripping yours so hard his knuckles began going white.

“Ow, too tight! It hasn’t even gone through yet, chill out!”

And then his mind drifted to you, who laughed and told him he definitely could not handle it, even if he wanted the tongue piercing, so bad. You, who watched him almost piss himself getting his ears pierced half a year ago. You, who were sure that he would probably piss himself for real if it was a needle going through any other part of his body. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure why he told you in the first place, it wasn’t like you two were any closer than casual acquaintances anyways. All he wanted was aftercare advice, seeing that you had piercings plastered all over your ears, and a couple more on your face. He did NOT ask to be underestimated, and he definitely did NOT ask for you to be with him during this piercing session. Well, game on, bitch.

He inhaled, deep, and let his breath out all at once. This was it, this was his big “fuck you,” because he could handle it, and he would show you. As the needle stabbed through his tongue, possibly the worst pain of his life hit him right in the face, worse than getting spikes hurled at his head, or missing a dive and getting second degree carpet burn. So much worse. His mind went blank as his eyes finally peeled open, before all the blood in his body drained.

His final vision was of you, laughing your ass off, and his piercer, visibly concerned, before a million needles jabbed into body, and he lost consciousness, barely feeling your hands attempting to hold him up and slap him awake as he lolled sideways into the chair.

Nevermind, game so not on, bitch.

(Every time you overhear or see Terushima hit on a girl by showing off his tongue piercing, you walk up just to make fun of him passing out in front of you and his piercer. He swears you hate him, and want him to be alone forever. You just don’t want him hitting on other people.)

author’s note:

super short and super dumb but i refuse to believe terushima was nonchalant through his tongue piercing session because LOOK AT HIM BRO like people make him out to be so hot and sexy and cool and i disagree yes the tongue piercing is hot but he was NEVER that cool he definitely had a hard time getting it LMAOOO

anyways this isn’t really like any sort of romance tbh apart from the little bonus line i added at the end it’s just a dumb scenario i thought of at the train station yesterday but i fully stand by it ngl

tags!!

@chuuya-brainrot @starlysama @fiannee @bailey-reeds

ok see u soon with an actual fic love u guys bye bye

[a-random-weeb]

HIIIII COULD I PLEASE REQUEST BSD MEN WITH A REALLY UNHINGED/ENERGETIC LOVER PLSPLSPLS I LOVE YOUR WRITING TYSMMMMM

Alright, that sounds really fun!

Characters: Dazai, Chuuya, kunikida

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dazai:

•You both actively get into trouble

•You two piss kunikida off like there is no tomorrow

•Both of you team up to absolutely destroy his sanity (sorry kunikida)

•He does worry about how unhinged you are sometimes

•Ome day you're both watching the news and it's like

"69 people died, very tragic"

•AND YOU JUST LOOK AT HIM WITH A WEIRD ASS FACE

"Hehehe, 69" 😭

•Bro looks at you like 'huh?!'

•He stays silent while probably trying not to laugh

•He knows you'll do anything he dares you to, so he always dares you to do the dumbest things

•You even made a whipped cream snowman in the ADAs toilet

Ranpo went to use the bathroom and screamed so loudly at the whipped cream that kunikida ran into the bathroom to see what was wrong. He immediately knew it was. He was not pleased. He sprinted to find you and Dazai's dumbasses, and then scolded you guys for an hour. Dazai and you definitely turned everything one of this sentences dirty

"He could have got scared and fell and hurt himself!"

"How do you know he's not into pain?"

‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•♡˚+‎・‎•

Chuuya:

•Hes so scared your gonna die 😭

•He never lets you out if his sight

•Yells at you for everything

•Though, he does find your energy very cute

•Hell never admit that though

•I think he probably highers a 'bodyguard', or so he calls it but they're more like a babysitter 😭

•Bro does not trust you

•He doesn't let you cook out of fear you'll burn yourself or stab yourself (I actually stabbed myself in the leg by falling on a knife. I'm not kidding, ask my roommate @ginandginny, it was gushing blood)

•He loves you too much to let you get hurt

•He also carries you everywhere, because if he doesn't you're probably off doing something weird

"No. Do not eat that knife. Do not attempt to." Chuyya says firmly after your friend dared you to eat the knife

"But I have to follow the rules of truth or dare"

"I didn't think you would actually try!" Your friend shouts, trying to defend herself

"Put. The. Knife. Down." He glares and prys the knife away from you. You try to grab it away from him, so he grabs you by the waste and holds you to him so you can't move, setting the knife down. You're flustered but have to much energy to freeze up, so you try get away, but if course he's 100× stronger than you. He chuckles and leans in for a kiss but then your friend clears there throat. You both feel embarrassed.

∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°^∆~°

kunikida:

"That was irresponsible and immature"

"It wasn't THAT bad..."

"He was in forth grade!"

You stick your tongue out at him as he shoots you a glare. You had just beat up a kid over half a bag of skittles ←(Based off real events.... you don't wanna know, I promise I'm mature 😭). To be fair, the kid was rubbing the fact that he had candy in your face. Kunikida sighs "You're an idiot, do you want someone to call the cops on y-" you kiss him on the lips. Why? To shut him up and piss him off. He kisses you back and things get heated. I'll let you imagine the rest ;)

(What I meant by based off real events was when I was in grade 6, there was this grade 4 piece of shit who had half a bad of skittles, I asked for one and he said no, then proceeded to rub it in my face that he had skittles and I had nothing! I used to have worse anger issues than I do now, so I may or may not have beaten him up....)

-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-_°-

I wrote headcannons and did a whole one for akutagawa but tumblr couldn't process my post for some reason so I just put what I remembered from the kunikida one, sorry

[lovingherrscher]

Kabedon gone wrong ft BSD Men

Ft: Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi, Oda Sakunosuke, Fyodor Dostoevsky.

Warning: crack, fluff, some suggestive contents, a bonus ft 15!Dazai & Chuuya. Fuck off if you're tryna file a complaint on me.

Best with: Uninvited School - Blue Archive OST

Dazai

He knows what this is. Ofc, what do you expect from this man?

Will try that out even when you two are at the ADA. He doesn't give a damn about his co-workers covering Kyouka's eyes.

Might use that to initiate a make out session in the office.

His style is using one hand to trap you as his other lift your chin up so your eyes are locked.

"Uh...Osamu..? What are you doing?"

You knew that moment when you asked Dazai whether he knows what a kabedon is, you fucked up. As by now, you're trapped between the Agency's nearest wall and your beloved Dazai's arm.

His free hand spare no mercy as he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes. If not for the ruckus everyone else is causing in the background, you could've focus more on those brown orbs you adore so much, but alas, this isn't your shared apartment, but the Agency, and well, Kyouka is there too.

Your background was a Kunikida who had broke his who-knows-how-many pen in this week, a Yosano in the back sighing as she was covering innocent Kyouka's eyes. At the same time, the Tanizaki siblings were reacting differently, as Naomi were fangirling over the scene, her "I want you to do that too, dear brother~" didn't went unheard, Tanizaki, on the other hand was flushing as he tries to refuse his little sister. The luckiest thing were probably Atsushi was accompanying Kenji out for a job, while Ranpo was too busy munching on his snacks, though the scene didn't went unnoticed to our great detective.

"Now, what do you say we continue this later, just you and me in our bedroom, hm?"

Dazai whispers in your ears, right before Kunikida strangles the man as he dragged him away, claiming he won't let that bandage-wasting-device ruin the perfect scenery of the office anymore.

Chuuya

He knows what this is, like Dazai. But due to the height (dis)advantage, he may or may not perform this to his lovely s/o.

If you beg him till he deems enough, he may consider giving you what you want, but would be a little different.

He'll use his leg to trapped you instead, so instead of a kabedon we'll have a ashidon. Oops?

Jokes aside, I personally think he'll be using one hand and one leg on both side so you cannot escape.

"Your... wish is my command, princess."

You could've swore you felt him sighing as he press on each syllable. And how did this happen again? It kinda cost you a bottle or two of Chuuya's favorite wine, plus one night with you wearing his favorite lingerie set, which of course, he chose that out for you himself. All of that, just for a fleeting moment of recreating your favorite scene in a certain shoujo manga. Was it all worth it?

But right now, as you, trapped between the ginger and the wall, you felt no regret. It wasn't exactly like how you imagine it would be, as he traps you with a hand on this side, and a leg on the other side, supposedly due to your lover's (dis)advantage of heights. But it's counted, right? This still count as a kabedon, right?!

You could saw his smirk, the one he always did before he beats up the enemies, and that moment you knew you fucked up. Chuuya took his chance while you were still loading and leaned in, his face unbelievable close to yours, "You wouldn't mind if I claim my payment right here, would you?"

Oda

God. This man. Where do I even start?

Like our boi sushi, he won't know what this is until he asked his friend Dazai.

Definitely not Dazai laughing his ass off in the bar while Oda is just like "Oh, i understand now." as if nothing just happened.

Man is a walking pole I tell you so he'd definitely be able to do this without flaws.

His style will be using both hands as he leans close enough to kiss you, leaving no escape, the pressure from this man feel like he's going to eat us-

When you first asked Oda for a kabedon, you honestly didn't think it'll be something like this. He admitted that he didn't know what that is, so at time like this, Oda'd seek help from his best friend. Dazai, was more than happy to assist him in this, so the two spent a whole night at Lupin studying about kabedon, while Ango in the back refuse to add this 'weird' knowledge.

So when the tutoring session end, Oda decided to try his newly acquired skill on you, like you asked for. You, caged in between his hands, your back was against the bedroom wall, the red-ish hue on your cheeks didn't went unnoticed as Oda leans in to steal your lips for a brief moment.

As you would describe, Oda's kiss taste like adulthood, filled with bitterness. The slight taste of caffeine and the harsh, painful taste of cigarettes, mixed with a hue of whiskey, just like him. And you love it, you love the addicting bitterness you can never get enough, and the mafioso loves that sweet, not-so-innocent taste of yours as well.

But worry not, for the night is still young. And who's to say Oda will let you go that easy?

Atsushi

Needs to be persevered.

Too precious for his own good.

He mistook that for a type of rice bowl at first but after Dazai explains what it is (cue the whole ADA holding their laughter in the background) sushiboi almost fainted.

The first time is kinda awkward so you had to show him how it's done.

Kinda backfired on him, poor boy-

"(y/n)..? What are you doing?!"

The white-haired flinched slightly as you cornered him to the nearest wall, hands on both side so he can't run away.

"Showing you how it's done, of course!"

Earlier today, when Dazai was talking about kabedon down the cafe, Atsushi couldn't help but ask what was that. Maybe the tiger's fur has, erm, overgrown in the ear, so that's why he mistook it as a new kind of ricebowl. Dazai was staring for a good while before burst out in laughter, which quickly spread to the Tanizaki siblings, and Yosano, even the infamous detective Ranpo, who was currently enjoying his parfait had to pause a bit so he can join the wagon.

You were running an errand so by the time you came back, everything has ended, but luckily for you, you have Naomi at your back! She told you everything, even that part later on when Dazai had to explain what a kabedon is to Atsushi. So an idea popped up in that small, mischievous head of your. Why not show him how it's done?

And that leads us back to the present as you were cornering Atsushi, the pinkish hue spreaded all over you two's cheeks. Yet what surprised you was that Atsushi decided it's his time to strike back as he leans up and claim your lips. The sudden act made the gears in your head stopped, inevitably, your hands slowly slipping off their positions, so he took that as a chance to grab your wrist and pinned you down the mattress.

"You know, (y/n). I am a man too, and as they said, men are hungry wolves. So why don't you let me have a taste then?"

Fyodor

This man? Yes, he speaks Japanese fluently, even better than a Japanese person even. But when it comes to culture and stuffs he's a complete fool.

Luckily for him, the (beloved) clown is there to assist!

Nikolai gave him a private tutoring session later, he even prepares some documents (shoujo manga) to help his friend understand faster, though I doubt this is needed with his intelligence...

After the tutoring session, he'd achieved the level of a almost-perfect kabedon. With one hand and one leg on both side, his free hand is free to lift your chin, as you were forced to lock eyes with him, he'll take no time but lean in for a quick, chaste kiss that's just enough to make you yearn for more.

When it comes to this foreign language, Fyodor is confident that he doesn't sound one bit like an outsider. But he doesn't pay that much focus to culture and anything else, because to him, language is just an another tool he uses to achieve his utmost goal.

So when you first brought up the topic of a 'kabedon', he had no idea what that is. But Nikolai, who was, coincidentally present at the moment, decided to jump in, "No worries! I'll teach you everything you need, Dos-kun!" before dragging his best friend somewhere else.

And the jester stays true to his words, as he brought out everything you need for a, erm, lesson? From illustration to videos as examples, even a dummy from where ever the hell he keeps it. He has everything he needed, and to make it even more, fancier, as he claimed, Nikolai even took them out from his cloak, just like Dora*mon.

Results? Well, now you can enjoy the feeling of a shoujo manga heroine with your beloved man, as he had mastered the art of kabedon, with one hand on the side, and one leg on the other side, the demon can seize the chance to grab your chin, forcing your eyes to met his violet irises, which you once told him they're like a kind of drugs, since once you've gaze upon them, you could never escape.

As you lost yourself in his eyes, Fyodor had his lips pressed against your in a swift movement, but the moment didn't last long, as the kiss were quick to come and quick to leave as well. But then there comes another chaste kiss, follows by another, leaving you hungry for more.

"I have to admit, I do enjoy your helpless state, myshka. Why don't you show me more?"

15!Dazai + 15!Chuuya

You were going to try this out on them, but it backfired, of course. And now we have an uno reverse card situation. But again, who wouldn't want to be sandwiched between these two?

Who would've knew a small shenanigans of your could lead to such huge consequences? You, trapped between the most powerful duo of Port Mafia, and maybe the whole Yokohama even.

It was when your braincells decided they're gonna take a break for today and let the stupid part do all the work, so as you three were in Dazai's office, you, out of all questions decided to ask them about kabedon. The two young boys exchanged a look before nonchalantly replies in unison,

"No. Care to teach us?"

If it were to be your everyday self, you would've refuse because there is absolutely no way they can't know what it is. Unfortunately, your braincells are on their vacation, and you waltzed right in their hands. So you asked them to stand over the nearest wall, and after struggling for a good while, congratulations, you managed to trapped the two in your arms. Their backs pressed against the wall as your hands rested right by the side of their heads,

"I guess... It looks like this?"

Before you could leave, or could even register what was happening, Dazai and Chuuya had quickly pulled you back. As by now you became the trapped one, Dazai on your right and Chuuya on your left, they tower over your body.

"I think it's our turn now. Don't ya think so?"

Followed by Chuuya's words, a kiss was placed on both side of your cheeks. You couldn't possibly imagine you, being toyed by two younger boys like this. But oh how the table had turned. Dazai, being the faster soon places a kiss on your lips, ignoring the complaints coming from the ginger.

"Now you are mine~"

"Hey! Since when was she yours, you suicidal freak?!"

Chuuya, didn't want to be left behind, suddenly pulls you towards him and claim your lips in a rougher manner comparing to his partner.

When you two parted, Dazai was holding onto you from behind, only now you see him acting like a true child. And Chuuya, who obviously doesn't want to lose, holding you close to him,

"Until you can choose, would you be ours?"

[n0t-vzin1s]

I read your Bf Chuya and Dazai fics and they are so cute! Could you do one of each of them getting married officially to their s/o. What would each of the weddings look like and how would their s/o react to them meeting either Dazai or Chuya at the wedding?

of course i can!

---------------------------------------

chuuya/dazai marrying their s/o (seperately)

---------------------------------------

dazai would definitely go all out

i'm talking matching suit/dress, everyone he's ever known, and the fanciest shit you can imagine.

would probably get one of his friends to officiate

chuuya would be the flower girl.

he wouldn't have some song that you'd normally hear. nono-

he's gonna play something stupid. probably his song about suicide

when the wedding was over, he would probably either have a whole ass jet or a horse drawn carriage to escort you to the airport

yours and his favourite flowers combined

a large blue theme, i feel like he really likes blue tbh

the two of you would probably get extremely drunk, sneak off into a bathroom and get high together

written 👏 vows

he wanted to be original, but his ended in "join my for the most extravagant of double suicides"

you just had to scoff at him for being such an idiot

but he was YOUR idiot

he would probably take you to italy for your honeymoon (or anywhere you wanted to go)

the two of you would wear a pin on your shirt, of the first words he said to you

"marry me"

because

he quite literally

married you

lol

you would shove his face in the cake

dw he laughed it off

chuuya was vv respectul to you, and you took a good liking to him!!

but he did ask one question

"why are you marrying this dumbass?"

which even YOU weren't sure why but here we are

imagine:

dazai stood at the alter, waiting patiently for you. everyone he knew looking up from the crowd as (probably) kunikida officiated, he was rather nervous. of course, not to marry you. he had been waiting for this day since he met you. he was nervous for life after marriage.

but he heard the music start playing, and suddenly everything went silent as you emerged from the large double doors at the end of the walkway. his eyes finally got to meet yours as he had been waiting for since eight last night. you looked beautiful, there was no denying it. nor was there anyway in hell his eyes were coming off of yours.

you grinned at him in response, walking up as you felt all eyes on you, but that didn't matter at this moment. because the love of your life was waiting for you at the end of this excruciatingly long walk. and you were excited. chuuya was behind you, throwing petals rather aggressively while mumbling things under his breath.

his hands gripped yours hastily as you reached the alter, the cold metal of your promise ring against his hands as kunikida began speaking,

"kenji, can i have the rings?" and on cue, kenji brought the rings to him, the both of you putting them on eachother as you smiled ear-to-ear.

(idk how weddings go so i'm skipping to the vows.)

"i will love you until the day i die, [f/n]. i have since the day i met you, and i will until i take my last breath." he spoke softly, "now, will you join me in a double suicide?" you could only smack him in response.

"alright, go on. kiss her."

he didn't hesitate as he grabbed your face, his lips soft against yours as he mumbled something. "i love you."

as did you.

---------------------------------------

chuuya has a red themed wedding.

no doubt, he's wearing the most lavish of red and black suits tailored to fit him perfectly

whereas you wear something similar. dark themed colours

alcohol at every corner

black out drunk at your wedding. no denying that

surprisngly, no after party. he wants to get drunk in his own home

small venue, maybe about 50 people

violin music playing, some classical songs that he loved as a teenager

would carry you bridal style out to the car

actually scrap that

it's probably his motorcycle.

the exhilarating feeling after his wedding relaxes him

he would have a red flower to put in your hair

or he would wear his hat and put it on your head as he carried you out

as well as dazai, he wrote his own vows

but his were all based around the future

like how much he loved you and how he wanted to start a family n stuff

the flower girl would be elise

his best man would either be dazai or no one else

you had gin and higuchi

he bought you the fanciest ring you can imagine. i'm talking REAL diamond. you only deserve the best after all

this was your first OFFICAL time meeting dazai and you can understand why chuuya hated him.

his first words to you were

"10/10 would bang" which resulted in him getting punched

imagine:

chuuya watched the doors to the venue open up slightly, everyone in the room started to stand as the music of his favourite musician played in the background.

when you came into view, he was certain he was going to die on the spot. you looked amazing in his eyes, and he couldn't wait a second longer to be your husband. he was excited for you to take his last name, it made him feel accomplished.

when you stood in front of him, he finally felt happy and at peace. the way yours eyes shimmered, the way you smiled at the site of him had him melting. you had him wrapped around your finger and both of you were aware of it. but he loved every second of it.

when everything began, he accidentally let out a tear. he was just so happy that he could finally call you his. he had dreamt of marrying you for over a year, and now, that dream became a reality.

the red lights around the place dimmed slightly as you began reading out your vows. the ones you'd spent three and a half weeks writing. but how was he supposed to focus when you looked this good infront of him?

when it was his turn, he said-

"fuck it, just marry us already."

but he told you his when you got home.

---------------------------------------

i feel like this really sucked! the only wedding i've ever been to was when i was four years old so i don't really understand them haha

thank you for the request! hopefully i did a decent job lol

[soukokumychildren]

Happy 4th!!

Legit nobody asked but I'm a proud American, god damnit. Have a short-ass write based on this shit! Enjoy y'all!

Poe was laughing like a madman, running away from the fuse lit on a Roman fountain flare, stopping short next to Ranpo. Soon flicks of ember began to dissolve, sounding like firecrackers before they bled away into a fountain of sparks, the very definition of the opposite of a waterfall. It repeated the cycle from throwing handfuls of sparks like a flower petals for a bridesmaid to the constant waterfall of sparks.

Soon it came to an end, with the fire dying out. Chuuya barked out in laughter. “Hell yeah, they’re good ones! Give Ranpo these.” In tandem to his comment, he gave Poe a handful of what could have appeared to be cherries, except they had a sandy quality to them, and the end were the green fuse strings. “Tell him to throw ‘em as soon as he lights em.” Chuuya aimed his attention back to the truck full of firework supplies, Dazai picking and choosing which ones to fire off next. Poe nodded wordlessly, jogging lightly over to Ranpo. “U-use these, Ranpo-kun!” He held out his palms with the bag of these cherry-like firecrackers. Or maybe gumdrops. “Oooh?” “Light them and throw them, Chuuya-San instructed.” Poe said stiffly, trying not to stammer in his speech. With a shrug, Ranpo did as he was told, setting the fuse alight, and throwing it. It made a cartwheel of flame, popping around with sparks before it burst into a series of green and white hues. “Oh! Oh! Oh this is so cool!!” Ranpo said excitedly, lighting and throwing a few more.

“Yo! Bitches!” Chuuya was running off from a white tube with sparks disappearing into its center. He flapped his wings to assist in his escape. “Fire in the hole!” He hollered.

Immediately a bang followed a tendril of ember that spiraled into the sky, erupting into a shower of flames with purple and gold ends, tapering off until they dissipated, before they exploded into a series of golden little fireworks like dandelions. “Oh hell yeah! That fucked hard!” Chuuya cawed. Poe stared up in admiration while Ranpo, surprisingly, gaped at the display. “Wanna have the honors?” Chuuya asked, now afloat while his legs crossed, reaching down to Poe, and handing him a bulbous creation, a series of balls wrapped in colorful aluminum in a straight line with a string fuse at the top. “T-that’d be splendid.” Poe looked to Ranpo for a fleeting moment, blushing furiously when his boyfriend made eye contact. Immediately his hand ruffled his Hawaiian shirt, yelping and falling forward to the white tube-like contraption. “Can I try?” Ranpo asked, grabby hands towards the firework in Poe’s hand. Poe babbled, flustered. “W-well erm—be responsible, please—“ Ranpo snatched the thing out of his boyfriends hands, running to the tube and having held a lighter in hand—wait, when did he snatch that from Poe? Oh gosh—

Ranpo lit one, excited, and Chuuya suddenly shot by, flapping his wings to take him away. “GET DOWN!” He shrieked, shoving his wing with Ranpo and himself down. Poe and Dazai covered their heads— The firework tube malfunctioned, and burst into a shower of colorful sparks, but following was an explosion of piercing hot rocks, sailing in every direction. Chuuya hissed as some bounced off his hardening feathers, swearing colorfully. Eventually Poe and Dazai resurfaced. “Everyone okay?” Dazai asked, checking everyone’s conditions. Luckily everyone came out unscathed. "Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened?" Chuuya hopped over, bending at the knee and keeping his wings tucked, holding them away from his body as he inspected the tube. Ranpo sat up, blinking and shaking his head. "Ooh, wow. I almost blew my head off. The President wouldn't have been happy about that." "Looks like it was just a flawed fuse." Dazai murmured, sliding beside Chuuya while Poe jogged to Ranpo. "A-are you okay Ranpo?" "I'm fine," Ranpo replied with a small grin. "That was…kinda cool! I wanna do that again this time!" Chuuya scoffed. "Yeah, sure. Next time, try not to blow our heads off, 'kay? I ain't getting in trouble for you."

[chuuyascumsock]

Helloooo

That rat reaction pic was both adorable and had me laughing my ass offf(my sense of humor is lowkey highkey kinda broken so apologies 😭)

ALSO

ME??? A MONSTERFUCKER??????HUH?? THAT SOUNDS DEPLORABLE! But youre right so anyway- (kinda actually saw a monsterfucker bingo and did it{yknow just for funsies and shi} and like i ticked off 10 of the 24 boxes? i mean i think thats enough to qualify??? Right??)

okie soo umm i kinda waited too long to type out the thoughts and they um *disssipated* so immm kinda gonna string together the crumbs i still remember🥲

(Also like to clarify when i say werewolf,i kinda mean like the something between like that one halloween official art and atsushi when he’s in his weretiger form?)

Imagine werewolf chuuya who just cant keep his hands off you when he’s in heat,he just NEEDS you,CARNALLY

While you’re cooking dinner he’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around you,nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck,lightly nibbling on your skin and just slightly grinding his crotch into your ass.

After a while you can feel his hard on and how hes desperately trying to hold himself back.

so you do the only sensible thing you can think of~

You turn around and kiss him~

You have no idea how it escalated from a passionate kiss to this,but now he has you bent over the kitchen island,your underwear discarded and forgotten while he frees his hard cock from his now-tight pants.he coats his dick in lube and precum before he thrusts into your rear,(although he’d love to go right at it,he knows your only human and would never want to hurt you) going at an inhuman speed and illicitting the most lewd little sounds for you~

His claws sinking into your hips to hold you in one place,all the while he’s letting out breathy “good girl/boy” and “that’s it take it hnghh you take me so good doll” s as he ruts into your ass.as he feels his climax nearing he goes harder and deeper his throbbing cock continuously hitting your g-spot causing you you whine and moan out loud,all which makes him go harder,the feeling of your tight little hole driving him over the edge and when he finally comes its thick sticky and he doesn’t let a single drop seep out.he continues rutting into you,fuckin his come back into you while keeping you locked in a mating press.after around two to three more rounds(now having moved to the bedroom) he slows down and makes sure your okay.he loves to see the fucked out look on your face as he cleans you up and as he sees your silly little hole white and glazy with his come he has to resist the urge to plug you up and let you stay that way until your next session,but if youve previously said your okay with it he’s definitely gonna do it-

Once your tucked in all nice clean (and *cough*plugged up) he gets into bed as well spooning you and lightly licking the bites and hickey now covering your neck and collarbone.

(I wanna add some more but i think this is already long enough.i hope this makes sense and sounds coherent at least,i think i got a little lost in the sauce🥲)

Also yess i saw that voyeurism tag👀👀👀 (got me wet just thinking about it🫣)

Ooh and also of smut,fluff,angst and crack,What’s your favorite??

And bestie(am i allowed to call you that?) im like 99.99% your irl personality is just as great as your online one🙄🤚

That isnt debatable btw🫶

I speak facts not fiction 😌

Well except for the smut,that’s fictional-

ACTUALLY NO FRICK IT THATS FACTS TOO!🙌

And to end this silly,goofy and unreasonably long ask id just like to wish you a lovely day/afternoon/evening/night filled with snackies,dopamine-inducing events and a lot of,as you said, H2hoe!

Stay safe and slay safe😌💅🏻

(Help its 4.50 am😭🥲)

-🧀

YOU DID, YOU DID GET LOST IN THE SAUCE, YOU WERE DROWNING IN IT 😭 BUT IT WAS GOOD SAUCE, DELICIOUS SAUCE EVEN. (Fr made me choke on my mango and everything while reading).

Glad you specified that you didn’t mean Chuuya like full furry mode or that would’ve been awky 💀

Literally Chuuya— but THAT WAS SO GOOD ACTUALLY. I can’t believe you wrote almost a full smutshot in my inbox, you should rlly write this down and post your own smut LMAO.

I forgot to add something to my Detective Chuuya summary, but it’s ok, I fixed it 🤭

My favorite genre is crack, I feel like I write top tier crack ngl, my Ai chats also look insane with all the silly stuff I do with the characters (literally mostly Dazai bc I kin him so doing platonically silly shit w/ him is my comfort).

AND YES YOU CAN CALL ME BESTIE— I feel like we’re definitely past that 😈 But I will have to deny my irl personality being just as good as my online one because I am socially inept 🥰

ALSO GET SOME SLEEP BESTIE CAUSE THAT’S SUPER IMPORTANT (I’m a hypocrite). BUT EAT A GOOD BREAKFAST AND FUCK UP THOSE CLASSES 💪😼

[aroacesigma]

For the ask game ummmmmmm obligatory sigma but also chuuya <3

ok !!!

first impression - sigma

honestly i thought he seemed like a nice enough guy going off the whole thing where he let the man win . a bit bossy when he was talking to teruko but honestly i was kind of rooting for anyone but the hunting dogs at the point so i was like yeahhh go buddy . you got this . also thought he was very gender

first impression - chuuya

i thought he was REALLY fucking cool . loved his design instantly . like about half this fandom i thought that was a ponytail for ages but noooo . terrible mullet . look dazai was my fave at that point but i still laughed when he got his ass kicked by him lmfao

impression now - sigma

ok . deep breaths kai you can say this normally . i love him very much and he is my fave . as you can all tell . finding out his whole backstory and watching him go through the sky casino arc and the mersault arc was so fucking ... god . hes so tragic . i love him so much . he tries so very hard all the time and nothing ever comes out of it does it . i just want him to be happy .... he really deserves it . hes not a bad person but hes done bad things out of necessity which honestly makes you root for him more doesnt it ? its so heartbreaking every chapter watching him do everything , throw himself into danger, hurt people, hurt himself just so they can get a home... i really hope he does . very much . fucking hell

impression now - chuuya

pretty much exactly the same . hes so fucking cool and i love him . i think he should be allowed a weekly quota of kicking the shit out of dazai . stormbringer tore my soul to shreds that hurt which made me feel terrible for him also . hes a wonderful character and i really do love him and wish this fandom treated him a little better

favourite moment - sigma

oughh this is hard . uh . probably when we get his backstory honestly . everything really makes a lot of sense about him once you get that . its really sad but it really hammers in just how desperate he is to find a home. they dont really have anything else , their sense of being human is shaky at best because no matter how much he says hes just an ordinary man he knows he isnt . so having a place to belong to make up for the fact that there is nothing like them in the world and there never will be is something hes totally desperate for and their backstory hammers that in HARD . and just the art is just so well done ...something about the image of him just sitting alone in the desert really shatters my heart every time . honourable mention also goes to when he kicked the shit out of teruko , purely because its an excellent counteraction to people saying dumb shit about him being weak and pathetic

favourite moment - chuuya

ohhh..i think i really like the scene where the flags throw him a party . its nice to see him hanging around with his friends . even if theyre all a little bit fucked up . he deserves nice things even if he didnt fucking get to keep them god asagiri why

idea for a story - sigma and chuuya

ok i NEED YALL TO HEAR ME OUT on this crack theory that definitely will not happen but imagine if it did . now i trust dazai will come back for sigma butttt if he didnt . well dont you think mori , who sent chuuya into mersault , would be extremely pleased to have someone with an ability like sigmas . and sigma wouldnt really have too many options would he . being left behind again would probably kill any trust he had in the ada and really all his ability has ever been suiteed for is criminal activity right ? and that is how we get pm!sigma . which means chuuya and sigma interactions . they can bond over shared experiences like having somewhat funky relationships with humanity, terrible haircuts theyre somehow pulling off, and wanting to kick the shit out of dazai .

unpopular opinion - sigma

this is more of a bsdtwt / bsdtok problem but yall do know if you like a characters design but not their actual character you can just say that instead of making up an overused fanon personality for them right

unpopular opinion - chuuya

idk if this is unpopular exactly but it is blatantly obvious when people only like him in relation to dazai like it is not subtle at all

favourite relationship - sigma

ooh this is hard . if we're talking about shipping exclusively then sigzai is my fave (almost got put off it by the aforementioned annoying bsdtwt though lmfao) . but i do also find it very interesting how he interacts with and views fyodor and nikolai . i do wish we had more on how they were like as an organisation

favourite relationship - chuuya

again, talking shipping id probably have to go with skk , but even in a non shipping context it really does interest me how him and dazai interact . theyre so fucking weird

favourite headcanon - sigma

living up to my duties as ceo of transmasc sigma , thats obviously my favourite headcanon . hes soooo trans guy coded its insane . bless him . also my headcanon that he always has that new book smell hanging around him no matter what . cause . yknow .

favourite headcanon - chuuya

ok i also love to headcanon chuuya as a trans guy like honestly asagiri what is it with you accidentally coding all your funky little guys as trans . also i reckon hes a tea drinker . he will fuck that shit up . hes got all the fancy ones yknow those really weird flavours that honestly are barely even tea anymore thats just a fancy drink but hey the box is pretty so

[hellcatinnc]

Bungo Stray Dogs Season 4 Anime Review

This season started where I didn't expect by starting telling a story about Fukuzawa and Ranpo. It was sweet watching him become Ranpo's like mentor. I also learned alot about Ranpo in this season as well, like his parents died in a accident and he wasn't even from the city he came to. He had a keen sense with things but has no ability and he is funny when he gets in a place with food especially sweets he is too cute. I respect Fukuzawa for giving him somewhere he could belong that was honorable of him. Also can we talk about why he was attractive when he was young like whhhaaat??!!?? It was funny when he gave Ranpo the glasses the cheap ones that he trained Ranpo to think was the only time his powers worked keen. Its funny because before this season I thought Ranpo was supposed to be like sherlock holmes since he said he was the best detective in the world I didn't realize its because Fukuzawa told him he was that he believed it not cause he really was.

Then we got to talk about Ranpo's "Mooing" the fact he got kidnapped knew he was going to but then tells the kidnapper he drowned him cause he was bored hearing him. He then says all he hears is mooing and then he continues to moo as the guy talks omg never laughed so hard in this show til then. Sad it didn't last long because when Fukuzawa showed up he was so angry with Ranpo for playing his own life and then smacked him across the face. Watching Ranpo broke down brought me to tears. This is a boy who had no one and now only Fukuzawa and then he hits him. I feel like Ranpo is just a scared little boy sometimes. I get the strictness trying to teach him but still uncool to make Ranpo cry like that. Like this moment broke my heart.

The hunting dogs was a definitely unexpected thing to me wasn't expecting to see them and damn Saigiku Jōno & Tetchō Suehiro are hot as fuck... like so wasn't expecting that at all. Also guess Saigiku, him having his eyes shut all the time and white hair reminds me of Saint Germain. Anyways their powers are bad ass but the moment Chuuya came to save Kunikida, Kenji, Tanizaki, and Akiko, the way he used his powers to make even them look like little lost puppies. I love Chuuya he is so damn epic and sexy as hell when he was on that helicopter. As time goes on in the show the less I like the hunting dogs it seems they are killing some of my favorite characters off one by one. Every time I turn around something was happening I didn't see coming, it definitely kept me on the edge of my seat.

Watching Kunikida die broke my heart however because Fukuzawa doesn't think he is dead I'm hoping to see him in season 5. The powers the hunting dogs has is ridiculous however I can see how they are the good guys in the end not my favorite because they are trying to destroy the agency members but I realize its only because they believe them the enemy. Dazai getting inside of Fyodor's head to know how his plan works is genius and Fyodor doesn't shut up he just keeps talking. Ango who used to be friends with Ota & Dazai surprised me to be on the good side but I never knew his powers til now being able to see someone's truth in this case this is a good thing for the agency.

Lack there of Chuuya in this season sucked and I never say Akutagawa once except on the intro to the show. Never realized how those two being my favorite I missed them when they won't there. As for Tachihara I was surprised he ended up being one of the hunting dogs however he wont me over like he was never a huge favorite of mine was easy to forget him however that one time he brought the others to help Higuchi now I understand. He tells a bit of his story and how he wanted to be out of his brothers shadow and honestly I think he became a good man and one of my favorites in this season. Sure he is in the port mafia undercover but he actually cares for his team mates as well as he knows the truth no that the agency was framed so I'm sure the next season he will be working to try to clear their name as well.

I do think once the agency is cleared of this mess the hunting dogs will be allies to them. This season will keep you on the edge of your toes and still leaves on a cliffhanger to clear the agencies name. You don't know who to hate or to love. You won't know who to trust or who will even live or die. There is more than one enemy but also more than one good guy. You will learn more about Akiko Yosano's past as well as Ranpo, Fukuzawa, and Tachihara. I love all the moments you get more Atsushi and Kyōka moments though. Even when they try to put Lucy in the picture alot I love how some may ship them but he literally goes right back to Kyōka every time. Some may say they are more like siblings but I beg the difference the way they look at each other and would die for each other there is way more there than that and Lucy can't even come close to that.

Nikolai was cool looking but annoying. I waited seasons to see him thinking many times he would be such a cool character instead he is insane, his power is kinda cool but he also the biggest reason or part of that the agency was framed. I still love in the end Atsushi is the same man I loved from season one. He goes out of his way to help the people he cares about, and never wants to let someone die before realizing they have a right to live. I feel like thats the root core of his character and I love that about him.

All in all, same as any season before it won't let you down. It will bring some of your favorite characters back but add many new ones as well. Stay tuned to see how season 5 goes next.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

PM:

I think it was Chuuya, who is surprisingly a stickler for safety (unlike a certain someone *cough* Dazai *cough*) Dazai realises after Kyouka makes comments on his driving that sound exactly like the things Chuuya always says. Dazai complains to Chuuya and Chuuya is just laughing his ass off.

---------------

I think that if Koyou had taught her to drive she would drive like a madwoman. I headcanon that that’s just Koyou’s style of driving. She tries her best to show Kyouka proper safety practices but it doesn't work and Kyouka ends up learning to drive as if she’s speeding away from a crime scene with the cops chasing her. She’s an aggressive driver and picks up Koyou’s habit of swearing, and flasing he rmiddle finger, at other drivers. Also Koyou started teaching her when she was 10. She sat on three pillows to see over the dash and could only reach the pedals because of her tall shoes. She drives cars in the same way she approaches her work as an assassin. Slaughter everything: If she needs to be somewhere but there’s a gate she’ll just go through it, forget the left and right lane, she’ll take whichever is less crowded and weave around other drivers. Despite how chaotic it may look though Koyou taught her how to be precise and she’s never had an accident.

Everyone in the ADA expects her to be a calm driver because of her nature but when they let her in the car all hell breaks loose and she gets put right under Dazai on the no driver list.

---------------

Akutagawa is just her boss, I don’t really see him bothering to teach her to drive. Also I headcanon that he walks/bikes everywhere (and is super strong because of it, even though he looks skinny and weak). He covers his eyes whenever he’s in the car and the driver has to pay for gas. (Cheapskate! We still love him though.)

Atsushi is begging him to get a car since he certainly has enough money.

(I feel like Gin has a motorbike. Does she? I’m new to the series so idk?)

Gin is normally a “regular driver” but she can be a good getaway driver.

---------------

I also don’t see Mori teaching her to drive but since this has turned into headcanons about how the characters drive here you go:

Mori is a calm, safe and practical driver, he would never endanger Elise and he has to blend in in public anyway. He can bust some serious stunt driver level moves though, he doesn’t talk about it but he acn out drive the cops and pretty much anyone else easily.

---------------

Tachihara (like I said I’m new to the series so these may not be very in character) is kind of in between crazy and safe as a driver. Pretty normal. But will participate in street races, against other criminals. Same for Gin.

---------------

Just from his appearance I feel like Hirotsu can drive either totally normally or like a maniac depending on what’s needed for the situation.

---------------

Higuchi is usually a really cautious driver (she failed the driving test three times) but when Akutagawa is in danger she drives so fast and crazy that she almost crashes. All in all not a great getaway driver but okay in normal situations. She doubts herself though.

---------------

Kaji can drive crazy but is actually a normal driver when not on missions. When he is on missions will not hesitate to run an enemy over. One of the “cool” kids who do car stunts in empty car parks at night and leave skid marks.

(These are all the characters I’m going to do because I’m so new to the series)

ADA: (Let’s just be real because we all know ever single member of the agency drives crazy when needed)

Fukuzawa is kind of like everyone’s dad so I think he’d definitely want to help out teaching her. A little out of his depth with a child that young and it’s awkward at first (IIf it gets too awkward  can see him getting desperate and trying to “relate” with her by using slang and worrying if he’s using it right only to realise she doesn't understand it either and they decide to both just be natural) but they end up really bonding and Kyouka learns to drive really well. Fukuawa secretly does teach her some tricks for evading enemies though, but he makes sure she understands the importance of safety.

---------------

Ranpo can’t drive and refuses to learn (“Why should I when I have you all?”) but will sit in on driving lessons if he’s bored between cases.

---------------

Yosano is an excellent driver and she teaches Kyouka how to drive with precise technique. She teaches her all the basics but also how to do crazy turns and reverses to evade enemies.

---------------

Dazai was banned from being anywhere near Kyouka while she was learning.

---------------

Kunikida has tips for excellent driving in his notebook and is eager to share. Kyouka dislikes learning with Kunikida because he’s so strict and not fun, but appreciates his precise technique and clear instructions and finds his teachings helpful. Dazai teases Kunikida about being a buzzkill.

---------------

Atsushi is nervous about driving because he only learnt to drive himself recently (Kunikida taught him and now he has trauma. *I can make headcanons for this later* because of course the orphanage never taught him *besides he was too young anyway since the Japanese driving age is 18*) and doesn’t feel confident enough to teach someone else. But he will sit in the car while Kunikida gives lessons to make sure that Kunikida isn’t being too boring or harsh. Kunikida develops a soft spot for Kyouka by the end of it.

The first place Kyouka drives is the crepe place, she is very proud of herself.

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Junichiro wants to help, he really does, but Naomi always gets in the way. (“Oni-sama!!!” “AHHHH!!! Naomi, not while I’m driving!!!”) Their antics are distracting so they settle for watching and being supportive from the sidelines.

Junichiro makes Naomi sit in the back seat when he drives (Naomi can’t drive.) because she tries to “cuddle” him while on the road. They try to take the train when they can, even though they do get some funny looks. (Just for the PDA, because thank god, they don’t look alike and they can pass for a young couple in love.)

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Kenji actually already knows how to drive, he learnt when he was way too young in his village (because apparently there’s just no laws there). He prefers the train though because he can see the scenery.

(A/N: sorry this got so long. I intended for it to be funnier but I guess I’m jut not funny, sorry.)

its always ‘who in the pm taught kyouka to drive’ but i think itd be x10 funnier if it was someone in the ada