#Chronic villain enjoyer moment

[some-pers0n]

Any of those trends or posts where it's like: "Hey post a bunch of your comfort characters and let your followers psychoanalyze you" I always consider doing but that would have me reconcile with the fact that I have a type

[temis-de-leon]

Gn!MC with chronic joint pain

Characters: Mammon, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor (x reader, separately, could be read as romantic or platonic)

Main Masterlist

Anon request: Could I request the brothers with a gn!MC with chronic joint pain? Sure, medicine makes it feel better when they take it, but it never 100% goes away and the meds aren't without side effects. On a good day, they can function relatively normally even if they do certain things at a slower pace. However, on a bad day, they can hardly get out of bed or do basic tasks (brush their teeth, lift a coffee cup, use a hand towel, etc) without difficulty, and require a fair amount of support when flare ups happen

A/N: I'm pretty sure Google thinks I'm the one with chronic pain

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Mammon

Although he’s the one who spends time with you the most, it took an embarrassingly long time to notice how significant your winces and fatigue were. After all, his initial belief was that humans were naturally weak.

He thought he understood why you stayed too long in bed from time to time or why your brows would frown when you grabbed your backpack if it was especially heavy some days.

You’d say you couldn’t help it whenever he teased and of course, you talked with frustration each of those times, so he learnt to ignore it; just like you tried to do.

Then came the day when he crushed you in the hallway while running away from Lucifer. The only thing he could do before both of you fell to the ground was twist your body so he could act as a cushion, but even that wasn’t enough.

You started to complain before he had the chance to ask for payment for his ‘sacrifice’, but it wasn’t just words or berating; Lucifer was already doing plenty of that.

It was a mix of gasps and moans of pain that stopped both brothers in their tracks.

The only reason why the eldest didn’t obliterate the younger demon on the spot was because the guilt was already eating him alive.

He helps you with no asking needed, carrying your backpack to and from school, helping you put on your coat or making you breakfast, although it’ll most likely be burnt.

He’ll stop if it makes you feel useless or incapacitated on days when you are mostly okay, but if you’re barely able to lift your head off the pillow, you can bet all your money he’s laying right next to you ready to make you some company, even in silence.

It will take him some time, but, eventually, you will have his undying support.

Levi

Being as distracted as he is, with his eyes glued to a screen most of the day, wasn’t an excuse for him to ignore all the pill bottles in your bathroom cabinet or the way you sometimes couldn’t keep up with him when he was excited and walking too fast.

He feels like a horrible friend when you tell him. He should’ve known!

You will have to explain the whole situation to him in the comfort of his room, moments after he requests your presence for the testing of an arcade shooting game that will, for sure, make your arms sore for the next few days.

Although you assure him you can still play, just not for excruciatingly long periods and on lower difficulty, he still feels like he failed you in some way.

Sharing his interests with you will never be enjoyable as long as it has the possibility of causing you pain.

Fortunately, he knows countless games where long-range movements are not required and you can have fun anyway: visual and choice-based novels, turn-based RPGs, social simulation games…

He especially likes the choice-based ones. From your views on morality to romance and friendship, each important interaction with the characters or the lore helps him know you more and more as the game progresses.

It doesn’t stop there, though.

He will also try, not so subtly, to find games, shows, comics and manga where you can relate to the main character in one way or another.

It could be seen as pity, but that isn’t his intention at all. You should enjoy the media you interact with! Either heroes or villains or something in between, you should have someone you can understand on the screen or paper.

Asmo

Since observing you and everything related to you is an enjoyable pastime of his, it doesn’t take him long before he figures out your medication schedule. At first his beauty-driven mind thinks your pills are vitamin supplements, but then he notices the headaches, the stomach issues and the exhaustion; no doubt side effects.

It is on one of your worst days when he knocks on your door asking to spend the evening together. The only thing you can do to greet him is throw a weak peace sign from beneath the blankets and that’s when he pouts and frowns in worry.

He hopes you trust him enough to talk about it in case you want to keep it a secret and, if not, why would he treat it like a taboo subject?

He may be the only one who straight-up asks with absolute normality.

Changes are not noticeable at first seeing that he already liked being around you and dotting on you before knowing anything, but rest assured he will be there if you ever need him.

On days when you feel like you can’t take care of yourself, the only thing you have to do is send him a message.

Whatever you need, he will do.

From drawing a bath so you don’t have to stand up while holding the shower head to applying dry shampoo on your hair so you don’t get out of bed at all. He will also do your skincare routine and even your makeup if you're up to it; brush your teeth and your hair and organize your room while mindlessly chatting with you.

His favourite shared activity is painting your nails since you don’t have to move at all and you still enjoy each other’s company.

The rest of the brothers need to remind him from time to time that you aren’t a doll for him to dress, but he won’t ever do something that makes you uncomfortable in any way.

Beel

He doesn’t really notice until it comes up naturally in conversation.

You’re both in the kitchen, getting a snack to hold on until everyone is ready for dinner, and he starts talking about a new workout plan he is following in the gym. A famous bodybuilder posted it on his Devilgram account and he was too curious not to give it a shot.

Although he can do it on his own, he likes to spend time with you, so he innocently asks if you want to go with him someday and try it, even if it’s a watered-down beginner version.

It’s not like you can’t go to the gym, but the number of exercises you feel like you can do is limited and you need to be mindful while doing all of them. Hell, even at home you need to be careful with some of your movements, doing simple chores like making your bed or washing the dishes.

You remind him how you cook too, usually doing one-pot meals and trying to use your body as little as possible; there are human influencers (highly recommend) that show specific tricks to make cooking easier for people like you, after all.

Luckily, he understands immediately, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to give up.

Unbeknownst to you, he researches specialized exercises and routines, as well as food, made to alleviate pain and strengthen your weakest points.

It isn’t a definitive solution, and certainly not the best, but it’s the thought that counts and he’s genuinely trying to make your life more comfortable and pleasant; not so draining.

He won’t push if you decline his offers and options (he’ll never force you to do anything, even if it benefits you), but will be extremely happy if you accept.

Belphie

He never asks, but you never have to tell him either, he just knows.

Your pain reflects in the way you move and live your day-to-day life, slower than the rest of them and always taking precautions, medicating yourself periodically even if sometimes that isn’t enough.

All of them have dinner in your room when you’re feeling way worse than usual and each time his memories can’t help but go back to that fateful evening in the attic.

He willingly and excitedly caused you abysmal pain back then, but he doesn’t want to imagine how underestimated his measurements are.

You suffered, yes, but all of that happened in the past.

Asking you what exactly hurts and what makes it worse won’t help his guilt at all.

Now that he can help you, he won’t do anything but.

Being who he is and liking what he likes, he has a trustworthy list of mattresses and pillows that he doesn’t hesitate to share with you.

He knows better than anybody else what a well-rested body can do to the mind and, although it may not help much, he insists you try at least once.

Going shopping for something like this and doing it with him is a double-edged sword; while he couldn’t be a better critic, there’s also the possibility of him falling asleep on one of the mattresses on display.

And you know perfectly well you aren’t going to be the one dragging him back home, so inviting Beel as well is always the best choice; especially since you can hang out after shopping knowing that you will have your purchase delivered.

If you still feel like you aren’t getting any rest, he will use a little bit of his magic to make you fall asleep more easily without waking up in discomfort.

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Taglist: @hatchers-hoard @ilovecandys2010  @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok forgetting moment pt. 20 I left the note where I wrote this open and can’t rmr if I actually sent it or not so if I did please delete this LMAO

FRRR I also really enjoy the panel where he has a lot of dark shadows on his face and he’s telling nagi not to get cocky after he was like “am I really a genius?”

RIN you getting inspiration for Rin is actually kinda crazy LMAOO but omg kiyora??? Your blog is just side character paradise atp but wait I’m kinda curious what else is in line in your inbox (if it’s not a secret you’re trying to keep LOL)

Karasu Shidou new duo coming soon move over Otoya /j but they definitely match each others freak LMAOO I bet Karasu’s like “your freaky but also extraordinary so I can respect you” and shidous just “yahoo!! Karasu chan!!” LOL

Karasu IS dad material he’s just the man of all men >>>> he would totally just lift his kid up and stare at them like “damn this extraordinary kid is MINE???”

I CANT WAIT FOR KARASU ARGUING WITH THE REF LMAOOOO and the stripper king scene is too funny!! Im also very excited for the moment that Barou and Nagi accidentally head butt each other HAHAHA

No because that’s so real I used to be SOOO into jjk and now it’s just kinda…..I am glad that the rollercoaster of a really confusing story is coming to an end so the suffering can stop but oh my…really hoping gege decides to put a bit of effort in for the ending!!!

Also I saw the pictures from your other ask reply and OMGGG THEYRE GORGEOUS!!! Looks like it was sm fun too! Hope you’re feeling better now and that your doctor has a solution for your nausea symptoms!

- Karasu anon

LMAO okay so you did send this in HOWEVER tumblr didn’t notify me?? which is why i took so long to respond despite now being at home and back to my chronically online ways (albeit jet lagged and still suffering from a migraine but we up) so it’s all good that you resent it HAHAAH

that panel is so villainous but so good HDJFLSKS like he looks EVILLLL but in such a cunty way!! i love how they’ve been juxtaposing karasu and nagi as of late…not just in personality but even in looks/drawing style they’re truly such opposites that their panels together slap SO hard 😮‍💨 definitely not biased because those two are my favs nope not at all

NO THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like if an idea for NAGI (my number one my baby the loml) can give me RIN inspiration it can truly happen to anyone 😬 imagine i try writing for karasu and then all of a sudden isagi is there?? like bro fuck off why are you wiggling your way into a plot that is NOT for you 😓 AND YES KIYORA I’M SO EXCITED tbh there’s lowkey no info abt kiyora even on the wiki so it’s time for me to take mad liberties with his character 😏 which i do love doing hehehe so i’m hype!! i’m so glad to be a safe space for side character enjoyers 🙏🏻 the more obscure the better…lowkey it’s so fun to write for characters like kiyora because i can truly write whatever and it’s so hard to make him ooc because what character does he even have to be in yk 😭 any “oocness” is just me giving him depth etc etc it may make the fic outdated once more comes out on him but me personally idc + i’m always spot on so 🥱 (mostly /j although in doing one of my current requests i realized that the reader calls kaiser a dog in the instrument and now it’s been revealed that his fav animals are stray dogs so maybe i’m onto smth fr 🫣)

LMAO no secrets here!! i have a note with my current requests so i’ll just paste that here 😄 they’re in chronological order of when the req was made but i fear i am NOT completing/posting them in that order 😟

[Secret gaming buddies — hiori

Prodigies — hiori

Singing reader — karasu

Karasu anon requests (any)

Classmates/friends to lovers — nagi

Karasu anon requests pt 2 (any)

Vague prompt — karasu or zantetsu

Cherry tree pt 2 — rin

The instrument pt 2 — kaiser (abt to post this one after i respond to some asks and take a post-riding lesson shower FJSKSK)

Vague prompt — kiyora]

vague prompt just means the person requested a character and literally nothing else HAHA but also yeah…as you can see karasu nation has been busy…although there are a couple of popular characters thrown in there!! i think once i post pt2 of the instrument i’ll probably get more reqs because atm i haven’t done a req since the last part of fwtkac and since that wasn’t answering an ask (since it was multiparts) lowkey people have probably forgotten i opened reqs back up again for bllk 😭 anyways hoping to get some more of these out of the way now that i have more free time and am not busily vacationing/writing karasu’s version of bfb (still cannot believe that’s the longest bllk fic i’ve written so far 😩)

HAHAAH EXACTLY like karasu acknowledges shidou’s freak but he’s undeniably talented/not mediocre so karasu has no choice but to be gang with him…meanwhile shidou is in it for the vibes + he thinks the bullshit karasu says abt erotic left legs and whatnot is super funny so they get along very well 😭 rip tabieita but i fear i am now a ryutabi TRUTHER 🤩 jkjk but no actually i’m going to make them besties at some point even if it’s just in a smau (although the otoya + shidou duo is also hilarious so dare i say trio?? and then yukimiya can get actually normal somewhat mature friends like reo and barou 😰)

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like bro is starstruck that he somehow managed to create something so perfect 🥹 honestly he already has parenting experience (dealing with pxg) i just know he’s prepared and ready for it

OMG YES literally any and all nagi + barou interactions i’m so excited because i miss them being together so much 😭 BEST bllk duo no question i cannot wait for them to be reunited post nel (because despite what the haters say nagi is NOT going anywhere and barou is eating it up atm so safe to say he’s staying)

i agree completely…i think it’s a mix of the pacing just not being enjoyable to me weekly + everyone dying + me getting busy with irl and then becoming super into bllk as soon as i had free time that just really made me so lukewarm!! i think it’s impressive what gege has managed to create and for sure what he does well he does EXCELLENTLY so i’m not here to hate as some people have been doing however i do think the writing is not always as good as it’s hyped up to be either (cough female characters cough) and there’s def spots that make me go “hm” 😔 i’m hoping the ending is satisfying and wraps up any loose ends but we’ll see…anyways leaks tn for jjk i think so ig we can get a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen based on the chapter!!

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL OVER THERE FR like sometimes i’d just stand there and be like “wow this feels like the set of a movie” it literally just didn’t even seem real at times 😭 probably going to call the doctor at some point this week and hopefully they offer good solutions because i’m still dizzy even lying in bed at home 😓

[thecottageinthedark]

#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#professor pericles#fred jones sr.#SDMItag#SDMIcrit tag#the crit files#cws in post#like. jesus christ dude.#i'm guessing there's probably been You Can't Like Mayor Jones He's Abusive discourse before; i don't want to contribute to it or anything#no shade to mayor jones enjoyers y'all have fun#but holy shit i do not like this man lmfao#this isn't even getting into the fact that it is extremely easy to read pericles as a victim of *other* SA both metaphorical and literal#(metaphorical: the entity groomed him his entire life)#(literal: the creators intentionally made reference with him; onscreen; to Inappropriate Handling that happens to parrots in real life)#(he comes from a world where people assume there is zero difference between him and an animal; and would probably touch him the same way)#(no one would have *recognized* it was inappropriate and there is not a chance in hell he would have been allowed to say stop)#(many many MANY things about his character immediately make sense with that reading whether the writers thought it through that far or not)#(which i have a Whole Post planned to go into; but this bit was enough of a detour that i felt like it should just be its own post lmao)#also re: scarred for life and ongoing suffering + disability as a result: on a literal level a scar like that would hurt like a *bitch*#especially with the complete lack of medical care it seems to have gotten; going by how it looks. it would be a huge source of chronic pain#on a not-literal level: boy howdy what a metaphor!#anyway yeah i would say this is roughly equivalent to if they'd had ricky finally get free from the snakes after twenty years#had him go into a Scary Evil Villain Spiral after while completely ignoring how horrifying it was or the trauma it'd have caused him#had pericles gloat about having pulled off injecting the snakes; and say he should have lived 'the rest of his miserable life' that way#and not only had no one go 'wtf' at any of that but given him a Redeeming Moment where he incapacitates ricky with venom again#and also tried to frame ricky as deserving the snakes/having done it to himself because he Did Bad Things while looking for the treasure#and also had him abuse someone partly in reaction to them mocking him over the snakes; and saying that being tortured and abused with them#for twenty years makes him unfit to be anything but subordinate. on a watsonian level ricky's standing up for himself against abuse but jfc#don't get me wrong there are definitely still differences in their dynamics but yeah i am not happy about it lmfao

[cws: drugging, SA and SA apologia, fantasy racism/ableism, forced institutionalization.]

-

i know i never shut up about it but god i am still just. So Salty about how the show handles the dynamic between mayor jones and pericles for many reasons, and one of the biggest is that there are really strong overtones here of sexual assault.

a character who already brings to mind the Slimy, Shady Cis White Guy with Buried Allegations archetype:

takes advantage of the trust of someone who's doing something with him in secret--

(which will get that person in a disproportionate amount of trouble compared to him, if they're discovered)

--to catch him off guard so he can grab him, drug him, and do violent things to his body while he's unconscious; scars him for life in a way that is disabling and should cause a lot of ongoing suffering, which, like many other things that should have a strong negative impact on him physically or psychologically, the writers ignore; and dumps him there alone to discover what's been done to him when he wakes up.

specifically, he does this to someone from a marginalized group that's highly unlikely to be believed if they tell anyone what he did--and going by the fact that mayor jones never got in any trouble until present day, he wasn't.

goes out of the way to ruin the life of the victim and discredit him as thoroughly as possible, because he's a loose end and he needs to shut him up.

flees the scene and gets away scot free with this for twenty years, has a successful privileged career and is considered a pillar of the community in the meantime.

when his dirty secret, which he's been paranoid about finally facing consequences for after the victim has recently become a risk again, is discovered, it's a huge career-ending scandal.

is redeemed by the end, while his victim goes on to be the Monstrous Irredeemable Pure Evil Main Villain and also sexually abuse someone himself, which is played as horrific and traumatizing (as it should be).

more specifically, is portrayed as showing redeeming, heroic anti-villain qualities by backhanding the victim into a wall as hard as he can in present day.

me: hm. yeah fuck this

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Honestly, I'm tired. I often try to give the benefit of doubt to almost everyone. Astruc completely destroyed my enjoyment of the show.

Season 3 wasn't great, but had some cool moments that I genuinely enjoyed, but I draw the line to what happened in Miracle Queen.

I can get behind a character hitting rock bottom for rising up in other seasons, but how much Asstruc bashes Chloe has become too much. Everywhere I go, I find people defending this poor choice in character development. I can't say that Zoè's introduction to the show is a poor choice in my opinion, that suddenly I get downvoted almost immediately in Reddit or find myself in long ass diatribe about why Chloe is an horrible person and doesn't reserve redemption.

I was fine with Season 1 Chloe, she was just a bully character who was there to be a plot device to make the main cast akumas and to be Marinette's total opposite.

He wanted to make Chloe unlikable, then he shouldn't have never introduces Audrey. He was pretty telling that the only people who tolerated Chloe were her dad, her butler and Sabrina, even Adrien, who supposedly was her childhood friends, barely hangs out with her.

When Audrey was introduced, Chloe became a sympathetic character and from there there was a bit of complexity in a character in a show where the protagonist are often bland and boring and the antagonist is a worse Mr. Freeze.

Seriously, from that point, I related to Chloe in a way that neither Marinette nor Adrien managed to do. Marinette has good parents and is loved by everyone, Adrien has a shitty father but Plagg, Gorilla, Nathalie and his friends make up for it and even then, the show goes out of his way to show that even if he became a magical terrorist, Gabriel somewhat cares for his son, while Audrey doesn't even remember her daughter's name.

After Miracle Queen, I didn't watch the two specials and I dreaded to watch season 4, scared that the show would have worsened and while I watched Truth, that I liked a little because I liked the Akuma power, even with the stupid thing about Jagged Stone being an horrible father, and I related a bit in Guiltrip, because I have a chronic illness and a bit of depression, I still haven't managed to gather the courage to watch Lies, Gang of Secret, Furious Fu etc.

I realized I was tired after the promo for the second season of The Owl House was dropped a few days ago. I realized that I no longer enjoy the show, that I lurk into the fandom because the show left me unsatisfied and the fan fiction somewhat seems better than the show itself, while with The Owl House happened the exact opposite. For TOH, the show left me so satisfied that I barely enter the fandom, because is that good, while with MLB, I stay for the fandom.

I'm tired of it and I think I'm going to take a break from this show, and it is in part because Astruc's crusade against Chloe.

Sorry for the long ask, but I just needed to vent.

Don't worry, your anger is completely valid.

The treatment of Chloe has proven to be a real breaking point with some fans. After the creator of a show scolds fans for getting invested in a character arc, why get invested in anything else?

It's even worse when you remember this show airs on the same channel that airs Gravity Falls, Amphibia, and The Owl House, shows that actually treat their so-called "bully characters" with depth, showing that they aren't just one-dimensional villains like Astruc claims Chloe is.

I think it's a good idea to distance yourself for now, because things with Astruc aren't going to be pretty tomorrow when "Queen Banana airs".

[ggyppt]

In my 376th review, I take a look at The Nevers 1x01 "Pilot"

Spoilers Below

Before we can even talk about The Nevers, we have to talk about the massive elephant in the room, Joss Whedon. This was going to be his next big project, but left during post-production, citing at the time, difficulties with the process during a global pandemic. In the time since that news broke, a massive swath of allegation of abuse have come out against Joss, and has in turn, cast a long shadow over this series, as he still has major credit on the majority of episodes. The actions that he has done are horrific and he does not deserve any praise for his work at this point, as no art is worth the pain that Joss Whedon has created while creating it. Knowing what we know now, the niggling feeling that thing that have affected his other productions in such horrific ways have thus also affected this production are hard to dissuade.

This knowledge in turn, creates an interesting viewing experience, as this would not be a bad product if the sword hanging over it weren’t there. The opening episode of The Nevers is very much a textbook example of why context matters, and in turn, affects how people view a product. Let me get my little bit of unequivocal praise out of the way though, lead actresses Laura Donnelly (from Outlander and Britannia) as Amalia True and Ann Skelly (from Kissing Candice and Red Rock) as Penance Adair pulls so much of this show on their back. The only reason that this isn’t a complete train wreck is this pair.

Beyond that, it’s all muddled praise at best, as much of what I might call out as good is tempered by the larger situation surrounding this show that I talked about above. We get the writing, and specifically in regard to Maladie (played by Amy Manson from Once Upon a Time and The White Princess) which are kind of sketchy, being stock archetypes of the violent mentally ill person. The early parts of this episode draw a direct tie between Maladie and the likes of Jack the Ripper. The there is Hugo Swan (played by James Norton from the 2019 version of Little Women and the 2017 production of Flatliners) a character who is presented as bisexual from his opening scene, and also is at least being hinted at towards being a villain, though his status is a lot more fuzzy then Maladie’s at the current moment. For a show that is riffing off the X-men brand of people with powers allegories where the persecution of these characters that are othered from the society, but the show focuses on thus creating investment, the hope is that we, the audience, in turn realize the persecution of people that the society we live in have othered. In the classic case of X-men, this is LGBT+ people, and I think in this case, they are talking about the mentally ill, or maybe just generally chronically ill, as with how much this opening episode talk about the Touched, their in universe term for people with powers, as a medical condition. This whole endeavor becomes counter productive as they have characters who are already parts of those societies that they could be using this as an allegory for, and they have already to some extant villainized both of them.

Then we have the ending, which explains a whole lot about what they are trying to do with this universe, but ends up making it feels so much lamer than the set up they had throughout the first episode. While it doesn’t necessarily break the episode as whole, it certainly makes it even more challenging to even try to recommend this episode, even without the controversy hanging over it’s head.

Overall, this is a messy episode at the best of times, and while the two leads do a lot of work and make this not just a watchable, but somewhat enjoyable experience. That is, in spite of all the major issues this show has both on the production side and in the larger writing. 5/10

[mimzy-writing-online]

Writing Clumsy Characters

This post includes tips on properly using clumsy characters as comic relief or as tension inducers, how to avoid clumsy character tropes, why people are clumsy and how the causes of that clumsiness might make them act, and includes tips on characters with ADHD, autism, and disabilities.

How To Write Clumsy Characters 

Do Not: substitute a genuine character flaw with clumsiness. Clumsiness is not a character flaw, it is not something that is wrong with a person or needs to be improved through honest character development. You cannot use clumsiness to cop out of giving your characters real human flaws. Emphasis on human flaws, because flawless characters are just the cardboard cut-outs of people, they’re there but are they really interesting.

Try Not: to make your character feel ashamed of being clumsy. It feels terrible to see clumsiness being shamed as something bad or embarrassing. People who are clumsy themselves will want to see clumsy characters treated nicely. So make your clumsy characters embrace their clumsiness and don’t let all your other characters bully them for it, but rather love them all the more for it.

What kind of characters should you attach the trait of clumsiness to?

Literally anyone. Boys, girls, main characters, secondary characters, background characters, villains, villain’s helpers, children, teens, adults, old people.

Clumsiness has many causes, many of them biological and non person specific, so literally anyone could be clumsy.

What causes clumsiness/People are clumsy in their own way

There are a lot of biological reasons for clumsiness and they all cause people to be clumsy in different ways.

People with poor situational awareness are not good at remembering everything in their environment and will often knock over things in their immediate area because they didn’t know or forgot something was there.

People with poor hand-eye coordination will not be good at catching things and will probably freak out when things are thrown at them because past experience has taught them that they are bad at catching things. They might even be bad at sports because of this.

People with inner ear imbalances will be unsteady on their feet, they may sway or knock into people. These are “tripping on air” type of people. They’re probably not great at sports either.

Children or teens who have had recent growth spurts and aren’t use to their new height, limb length, and strength. It takes a while to get used to a changed body. So maybe they’ll trip over their long legs or knock their head into something they use to be short enough not to worry about, like a low hanging door or banner or hanging house plant. This can (and probably should) apply to characters who had some massive body change, whether through science or magic. (Steve Rogers grew a foot in two minutes, and I know he’s a super soldier, but realistically he should have had a month or two where he wasn’t use to his new height and strength)

People with degenerative disorders that cause tremors will probably spill drinks or have trouble writing or have trouble doing small motor skill tasks. This is definitely something you should tread carefully with, and definitely do not make any other characters mock them for this. Chronic health issues, disabilities, and degenerative disorders are hard enough to live with without your family members and friends treating you like shit.

There are lots of reasons to be clumsy and it will make people act clumsy in their own manner.

If you want to use your characters clumsiness as some form of comic relief, here is how I recommend doing it

If you’re having a light-hearted moment between characters where friends and family are gathered round and joking and relaxed, it’s good to maybe have your clumsy character knock something over. Think a stack of papers or maybe spilling their drink or knocking into someone. Go back to what I said about a character not being shamed for being clumsy. This should be something your characters are used to. Your clumsy character laughs it off and their loved ones tease them lovingly about it but nobody is EVER made to feel bad about being clumsy.

In tense moments where a serious conversation is happening or someone is sneaking around trying not to get caught It’s fine to have your characters knock something over in this moment or to cause a little accidental and inconvenient mayhem. You can use it to increase tension because your character is afraid their tripping may lead to them getting caught. It may cause the serious, life or death, conversation to be halted for a moment as the conversationalists look at the character who knocked over a stack of books or broke a vase.

Your clumsy character is secretly dangerous and has some special fighting ability but outside of that special fighting ability they are a clumsy idiot. This particular example comes to mind because I’ve been rewatching Merlin, in which Merlin is a powerful wizard who must keep his magic a secret. He comes across as a clumsy idiot to all who know him but don’t know about his magic. In a way the clumsiness seems to hide just how dangerous Merlin actually is, and how lethal he can be (you don’t realize it at first, but Merlin kills quite a few people with his magic as the show goes on) I am of the belief that Merlin is still genuinely clumsy but maybe enhances it to appear especially harmless. Feel free to make your character dangerous and an excellent fighter of some kind, but clumsy outside of fighting. Or maybe they’re just pretending to be clumsy to seem harmless (but if we’re being honest here, it’s more fun if they’re genuinely clumsy anyway)

Clumsiness can be used to create inconvenient moments (a character getting caught or breaking something) but it can also be used to create convenient moments (they accidentally uncovered a clue or distracted someone who would have stopped the protagonist). These are great ways to include clumsiness into a character’s daily life, but there should be balance that for as many moments as clumsiness is convenient it is also inconvenient (and vice versa)

Disclaimer: the show Merlin refers to the character Merlin as a w*rlock but I’ve heard that word is offensive to some people of pagen or magic beliefs and out of respect to them I try to avoid using that word whenever possible. I usually stick to witch in my writing, since that is gender neutral.

Tired Tropes of Clumsy Characters

The clumsy female protagonist being saved from falling on her butt by the male love interest who catches her at just the right moment, usually with his arm around her waist or something. It’s very overdone in YA and because it’s over done it is now considered a no-no. It’s also not particularly realistic that someone would catch them at just the right moment unless they were super fast and had quick reflexes (in which case I guess it’s possible in Twilight, which is super guilty of it, but we’re not rewriting Twilight).

If you want, you can subvert this trope.

Step One: Alter the Gender Factor: maybe it’s not a clumsy girl protagonist and a fast, strong guy love interest. Maybe the guy is clumsy and not the girl. Maybe they’re both clumsy.  Maybe it’s just very gay with two guys, or two girls, or any mixture of gender identities from trans to non-binary to cis people. (I am a very clumsy non-binary person, and I’m very pan, it’s possible your character can be too)

Maybe the love interest does not catch your protagonist, but is very sweet and comforting when your character falls. Maybe the love interest is the clumsy one and the protagonist wants to help them when they fall. Maybe one does try to catch the other and they both fall. 

Maybe it’s not the love interest at all that comforts or tries to help the protagonist. Maybe it’s their best friend or their put upon sibling or a parent who lovingly teases them or a teacher who’s just being helpful because they just happened to be there.

Get creative with your circumstances.

Clumsiness in people who are not neuro-typical

In some cases, people who are not neuro-typical and have ADHD or are autistic might be clumsy. I’m not an expert on why that is, but I know it’s a common sign and I experience this myself and see this in friends. People with ADHD or who are autistic sometimes move in unique ways. They sway, balance on tip toes or on their heels, walk with their arms waving around. This is usually because that particular type of movement is enjoyable for them (stimming). There’s something calming or soothing about that type of movement. (or at least there is for me, I have ADHD). Because of this, their unique way of moving might appear to be clumsiness. But they are sometimes genuinely clumsy because they are not neuro-typical and maybe they lack the spacial or situational awareness or have poor eye hand coordination, which makes them clumsy.

Tread carefully here. This is not something you should turn into comic relief. Autistic people and people with ADHD are not here for your characters and readers to laugh at, they’re here to be people who are loved and respected just as much as able bodied and neuro typical people.

Disclaimer: this is not a guide for writing an autistic character or a character with ADHD. If you want to write a character like that, be my guest but please do your research. The best research you’ll ever get on writing a character with a specific condition is by reading stories from people who live with that specific condition themselves. There are lots of blogs run by people who live with ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar, and other mental disorders. There are lots of blogs run by people who are autistic. Read their stories and their experiences and always value their experiences over what articles written by neuro-typical and able bodied writers tell you. Those neuro-typical and able bodied people can’t tell you anything of value compared to someone who experiences what you’re writing about.

People with mental health disorders are not Web MD symptom lists.

People who are autistic are not Web MD symptom lists.

They’re people.

Clumsiness in people with disabilities or chronic health problems.

I’m going to tell you to tread carefully here again.

People who live with mobility and sensory disabilities may be more prone to clumsiness. That may be because of their disability, but it may also be because they were clumsy before they had this disability. 

This writer is visually impaired and I can tell you that I was clumsy before vision loss and continue to be the same level of clumsy, my vision loss didn’t chance that much.

People with degenerative disorders will lose muscle strength and coordination over time. This may result in spilling drinks or bad hand writing or not being able to fully lift something and dropping it.

People who have leg/arm injuries, chronic pain, muscle weakness, or nerve damage might struggle with walking or lifting things and sometimes they might fall, trip, or drop something.

This is not comic relief. Your disabled characters should never be laughed at, not by the narrator, the other characters, you, or your readers. They are not here for your characters and readers to laugh at. They deserve to be loved and respected the same as any able bodied or neuro-typical character.

I think that’s all I have for you on writing clumsy characters. If you have more to add, please feel free to add. If any of you want to reblog with links to other posts on how to write characters with ADHD, autism, or disabilities, please do. I’m sure someone who stumbled across this post is looking for most posts about writing characters who aren’t neuro-typical or able bodied. 

Follow this blog for more writing advice.

[anhed-nia]

I LOVE RAVENOUS MORE THAN YOU DO

RAVENOUS is one of my favorite movies of all time. It may not be the prettiest, or the deepest, or the most refined movie or all time, but it is a true original, and one that insinuated itself into my mental DNA from the moment I saw it. It arrived on home video around the time that I was about to leave for college, so it makes a certain amount of sense that it would have such a lasting impact on the rest of my adult life. I was initially attracted to the its excessive violence, its salt-in-the-wound humor, and its style of rustic perversion to which I was well-disposed since THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE first ruined my life as a teenager. But, there is more to RAVENOUS than these broad strokes descriptors, and looking back, it is easy to see how this unusual film catalyzed my ability to read films, and at the risk of being dramatic, my ability to understand myself.

(why does this movie only have awful posters?)

RAVENOUS is the only horror movie I can think of that takes place during the Mexican-American war, an unconventional setting that is the first sign of how truly odd this movie will be. Guy Pearce plays John Boyd, a soldier who is being celebrated for turning the tide of a major battle. The reality is that he survived the fray by hiding under a pile of his countrymen's corpses, bathing in their blood and viscera, until an unexplainable burst of rage drove him to capture the Mexican commanders, garnering him the undeserved mantle of hero. General Slauson (John Spencer) has Boyd's number, though, and ships the coward off to the impossibly remote mountain outpost of Fort Spencer, a sort of depot for undesirables like himself. No sooner has Boyd resigned himself to his fate, than the group's stasis is destroyed by the arrival of a wandering frontiersman (the incomparable Robert Carlyle) who claims to have escaped from a Donner Party-like tragedy. Naturally, their ingratiating guest turns out to be the villain at the heart of his own story, and worse yet, a carrier of the supernatural wendigo virus that rewards cannibalism with virtual immortality. The whole situation quickly devolves into a Darwian competition to sort out the predators from the provisions, seasoned liberally with analogies to Manifest Destiny and American consumerism.

Writer Ted Griffin's prismatic metaphors could be pretty clunky on their own, with cheeky comparisons between cannibalism and communion, and handy food-related quotations from founding father Benjamin Franklin. Happily, Antonia Bird's distinctive directorial style prevents RAVENOUS from degenerating into a broad-side-of-the-barn satire of American history. Griffin's overly familiar arguments act as stabilizing road signs, as the viewer navigates the otherwise hostile and alien territory explored by Bird. In the broadest sense, RAVENOUS is a movie about bodies out of control: cravings and terrors that annihilate one's self-control, that erode one's dignity, that blend repulsion and eroticism into a noxious but irresistible brew. The body wages war on the personality, the morals, the institutional rank and decoration; it wages war on other bodies, and ultimately on itself. Griffin the cultural critic has his place here, but it is Antonia Bird's unique understanding of frailty and hysteria that makes this movie so affecting.

RAVENOUS begins with a gloriously shocking opener that joins pornographic closeups of the celebratory steak served at Boyd's promotional dinner, with Boyd vomiting violently outside of the dining hall. The body is turned inside out right away in this movie, and this stunt is immediately followed by a similarly disorienting trick turned by the film's main theme. The experimental score, a collaboration between the great Michael Nyman and Damon Albarn from Blur, establishes its power with a composition that is written in 6/7 time, creating a rhythm that is very difficult to follow for the average ear. Thus the viewer is first nauseated by the imagery, then disoriented by the sound, and it is in this unsettled state that one remains for the rest of the film.

There are a number of such bizarre formal techniques to discuss, and they are well matched by Bird's management of her cast. Even for a horror film, RAVENOUS is an extremely physical movie. The terminally guilty Boyd seems to be on the verge of literal implosion; the squirrelly and barely verbal religious fanatic Toffler (Jeremy Davies) scrambles around breathlessly at a pace that puts him in danger of killing himself (which he finally nearly does); the only "real" soldier in the bunch, the nightmarishly aryan Private Reich (Neal McDonough), is first seen screaming half-submerged in a frigid mountain stream, suggesting that even the the conventional trappings of heroism are purely pathological here. Other characters are chronically drunk or high, struggling just to stay awake or walk a straight line. The radical loss of identity in which the organism transforms from a sentient being, into stew in a cauldron, almost seems like a natural eventuality of the abjection and loss of control suffered by everyone at Fort Spencer.

This moral and physical degeneracy, that is the status quo with Boyd and his cohorts, eventually contaminates the mind as well. When I first saw RAVENOUS, I was entirely ignorant of real artistry in film, and whether I knew it or not, my malnourished brain was in dire need of deviance from Hollywood norms of beauty and power. At that time, I was mainly accustomed to two approaches to human behavior in films: First, the James Bond model, in which characters only behave as if they have perfect foresight and complete control of their emotions and deliberation even in the face of catastrophe. I use "James Bond" as the most recognizable face of this hyperrationalism, but this approach pervades most mainstream films involving any kind of peril. How many times have you, the reader, had to sit through a screening in which some know-it-all picks apart the decisions and reactions of every character, as if it were reasonable to expect any person on either side of the screen to behave with robotic pragmatism regardless of their circumstances? But people do expect this from fictional protagonists on the whole. The second approach that I want to identify is mainly relegated to slasher movies; According to this model, characters are permitted to make the stupidest possible choices at every juncture, because the audience has a preexisting assumption that these victims will be sacrificed on the altar of our prudish morals, or simply for the vicarious enjoyment of the power wielded by a Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. What we rarely see in the mainstream, outside of the comedy genre, is shock, mania, hysteria, the loss of one's faculties that comes when one experiences a violent divorce from accepted reality.

Other than the aforementioned TEXAS CHAIN SAW, RAVENOUS was the first movie I had ever seen that addressed the neurological reality of trauma. Boyd's uncontrollable vomiting at the very beginning of the film is just a taste of Antonia Bird's mastery of this subject. She has ample opportunity to address this with her cast when the interloping cannibal "survivor" Colqhoun, first leads the unsuspecting Fort Spencer crew to the cave where he says the "real" cannibal is hiding out. Upon their arrival, Colqhoun throws himself into an alarming fugue state, apparently reliving the trauma of the nightmare from which he fled. He pants and gasps, smirks and grimaces, claws at the air and at the earth, as if to bury himself, effectively scaring the shit out of everybody. After he reveals his true intentions and massacres most of the crew before chasing Boyd and Reich off the edge of a cliff, another interesting neurological event transpires. At the bottom of the hole into which they have plummeted, with Reich's last spasm of life, he clamps his fingers around Boyd's throat  until his maniacal laughter turns into a death rattle. An even finer example comes after Boyd has returned to camp, having shamefully mended his wounds by dining on Reich's corpse as per the wendigo myth. Still recuperating, Boyd greets the arriving officers who are escorting the Fort's replacement commander--who turns out to be Colqhoun, now dressed neatly as the "Colonel Ives" on whom he blamed the cannibalistic murders of his fellow frontiersman. At the sight of this shocking enemy, Boyd pivots wildly and slams face first into the nearest wall, crumbling like a swatted insect on the floor and shaking uncontrollably.

These are some of the principle moments that won RAVENOUS my heart, and that really let me know what I was searching for in films. In fact, this movie was so formative for me that it led to a sort of impromptu ritual of breaking with my childhood. As with all cultists, my desperation to rope in everybody I knew intensified along with my obsession. I couldn't imagine that anybody would reject this beautiful and fabulously unusual work of art. I pulled a lot of wins, but I was in for a rude awakening where it should have counted. I refer to my "best friend" and "high school sweetheart" of about ten years, a guy who dominated my cultural life for almost as long as we were pals, since he was slightly smarter and had slightly better taste than our high school peers, but very little interest in having his mind expanded, as I eventually realized. When I showed him my new favorite movie of all time, I was brutally disappointed by his scoffing at every scene that I considered to be the movie's crowning accomplishments. He scrunched up his face and rejected Reich's murderous dying breath as "stupid" and "fucked up" and "making no sense". Today I'm not sure how hard I tried to explain that, look, we're talking about a character who is on the brink of death, whose final moments were in especially ugly combat, and who is really extremely brain damaged; more to the point, he really hates Boyd, the coward, and may have tried to kill him at some point even if he were fully possessed of his faculties. I mean, we're finally seeing something psychiatrically real here...aren't we? I got the same snotty dismissal from my viewing companion when Boyd went into shock at the sight of Ives--shock, a real acknowledged medical condition--and really during any scene that he considered too awkward and bizarre to be "cool" and heroic. It was at that very moment that I knew we wouldn't be friends for much longer, and we actually fell out of touch a few years later.

With that personal digression out of the way, though, I'd like to return to the cave (don't I always?) to discuss how Antonia Bird, her DP Anthony B. Richmond, and her editorial team work together to keep the audience in more or less the same state of discomfort and disorientation as the characters. RAVENOUS was also the first movie that taught me how to interpret the visual grammar of film, since I watched it so often that, eventually, I couldn't miss what was going on. Bird and co. have a way of distorting and compressing space that prevents the viewer from ever really knowing where you are. When the crew arrives at the low, carbon black mouth of the cave, there is a sense that it couldn't possibly be as deep as Colqhoun's story suggests (and in practical reality, it isn't). When Boyd and Reich creep inside, the tunnel plunges promptly into a weird homey sublevel where Colqhoun had been subsisting on his fellow travelers. This is sort of weird, but not as weird as what happens outside. When Colqhoun plunges into his fugue state, we see in it a sweaty, spittle-flecked closeup. His behavior spooks Toffler, who in his own closeup cowers against his commanding officer Colonel Hart (Jeffrey Jones, playing essentially the same character as in Deadwood). Colqhoun appears to stalk closer and closer to the camera, but how close is he to Toffler and Hart? We have no idea, until he circles back to the pit he just dug and then lunges through the air to plant a knife in Hart's abdomen, gutting him. Then, when Boyd and Reich give chase, there is a moment where Reich stares into the camera, giving Boyd an order. Boyd looks shyly into the camera before glancing off, suggesting that he flinches away from Reich's hateful gaze--but in the next shot, we see that Boyd is actually behind Reich, looking in a completely different direction. Part of me suspects that Bird and her crew were making the most of the small and somewhat sparse-looking patch of woods that they had for this scene, but it gets more interesting later on. As Colquhoun-now-Ives surreptitiously prepares a human stew back at camp, the permanently drunk Major Knox (Stephen Spinella, who seems determined to turn RAVENOUS into a balls-out comedy) shouts down the hysterical Boyd--all in closeup, so where are they? As it turns out, Ives is in one building, Knox stands in a passageway outside the door, and Boyd sits shackled in a separate building in the distant background. Finally, in Boyd's epic showdown with Ives, there is a fascinating moment in which Boyd saunters into the room, gazing staunchly ahead, ready to kill. Cut to Ives standing in front of a roaring fire, spinning neatly to face his adversary--but when we cut back to Boyd, we see that he is completely alone in the space. Shortly, Ives plunges through the ceiling behind him; they were never even on the same floor. RAVENOUS consistently leaves the viewer as disoriented and untethered as its characters are emotionally.

This battle itself harkens back to the movie's crucial focus on the often degrading and humiliating experience of piloting a human body. In both the James Bond and slasher movie models of movie behavior that I previously discussed, a climactic showdown should be fast-paced, furious, with impressive feats of athleticism by the combatants. Not so in RAVENOUS. The final scene is accompanied by an eight-and-a-half minute minimalist trudge through hell by Nyman and Albarn that never threatens to raise your blood pressure with stings or arias. The music perfectly matches this sluggish fight between two men whose bodies have been repeatedly destroyed and recreated. Their weapons are a letter opener, a meat cleaver, a pretty substantial log, and finally, a massive bear trap. The conflict is no clash of the titans, no beautiful realization of the full potential of male aggression. It is gruesome, tragic, and in some way, romantic.

I would be remiss if I failed to dig in to the eroticism of this movie. Like all vampire movies, there is a virgin and a seducer, a victim who calls their lack of worldliness dignity, and a predator who sees chastity as a shameful waste of life. RAVENOUS is one of at least three movies that Antonia Bird made about the unique relationships between men in traditionally male situations. Her heist movie FACE has been compared to HEAT, though I am really thinking of the incendiary drama PRIEST. In this, her impressive directorial debut, a young man of the cloth struggles with the disturbing intrusion of sex into his chaste life, be it in the lives of deviant clergyman, or abused child parishioners, or in his own struggle with homosexuality. Robert Carlyle plays the unhappy lover left out in the cold, drifting down the street on a skateboard like a hovering ghost, trying to convince the eponymous character that love is greater than its stingy biblical proscription. While there are no literal love scenes in RAVENOUS, it takes place in a similar world, made up almost only of men--men who are brothers in arms, who look after each other's souls and bodies, and who even consume each other's bodies, who gain strength from one another by breaking the ultimate taboo. The closing image, of Boyd and Ives pinned chest to chest by the bear trap, bleeding to death in each other's arms, remains for me one of the tenderest images in all of horror cinema.

I would like to close by asserting that Bird's deft exploration of male sensitivity is nowhere more powerful than in her direction of David Arquette, the unlikely shining star of RAVENOUS. The often intolerably wacky comedic actor plays Private Cleaves, an absolute reject from society who (barely) functions as the help around Fort Spencer. He and George (Joseph Runningfox), one of two Native American appendages to the crew, are consistently high out of their minds, which may make them look like fools, but it also designates them as being the most wisely in touch with the genuinely hopelessness of their situation. When George is slaughtered by Colqhoun, Cleaves is left all alone tending the Fort, and he has a few scenes of powerful vulnerability before his inevitable demise. In between two key plot beats, we find Cleaves and George's sister Martha (the quietly wonderful Sheila Tousey) standing together in the snowy yard, observing the new commanding officer's arrival. What should be a forgettably dry piece of exposition concludes with Cleaves instinctively turning to Martha and stroking her hair, which causes both of them to dissolve in tears. In an adjacent scene, Boyd watches through the window as the agonizingly bereaved Cleaves chops wood in the yard, alone. Cleaves, certainly intoxicated, weaves and sweats, giggling in an unnervingly forced manner to try to resurrect the perpetual good time that he once enjoyed with his murdered best friend. The scene dissolves into a fantasy in which Boyd gives in to his mounting cannibalistic urges and eviscerates Cleaves--throughout which Cleaves laughs and laughs with escalating insanity. It is difficult to convey the raw force of the sequence in words, so I will just say this: Early this year, I dared to point out that among the many strange virtues of STARSHIP TROOPERS is the fact that terminal screwball Jake Busey is so warm, so funny, and so emotionally available in that movie that it almost throws off the deliberately boneheaded artificiality of the entire rest of the cast. So, I would just like to conclude that, if your movie involves somebody from EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS or Shasta McNasty, and you get that person to provide you with one of the most sensitive performances in the whole show, you're probably doing something right.

[kc-anathema]

I have opinions on the show.

Like in most things, my opinions do not matter. But they do exist.

They are not positive.

I admit, I don't know what I'd hoped for. A more sardonic take on Leonardo, a more reckless take on the siblings...more property damage, less concern about violence, maybe?

Must I content myself that at least Leonardo could cut a sentient worm in half? I knew the show would be a dumpster fire, but I'd hoped for a fun dumpster fire.

This feels like the Spongebob'ing of the TMNT. The Ren & Stimpying of the TMNT.

And it's boring.

Oh my god, this show is boring.

Teenagers who are ninjas and mutant turtles should not be this boring. But here they are on cell phones cheering for someone else because...relatable? Kids are on their phones all the time, so it's cool to watch our heroes on their phones watching someone else do something cool? I get that Leonardo executed a sweet 3 1/4th rotation trick, but is this seriously the highlight of a ten minute episode? They bust into a mall...to watch their phones? Are their lives this boring unless there’s a villain to liven it up?

They are young, yes, but that is no excuse for boring. They are young teenagers who are mutant turtles who are also ninjas. This is not a recipe for boring. Teenagers are cocky little bundles of sincerity, flashes of brilliance and moments of abject egoism and stupidity. And yet the story flounders in its style while ignoring the life preservers of world building and character building.

Mystic weapons - where do they come from? who forged them? why do they exist? what's the original intent of them? have we learned anything else about them, these weapons which are apparently so important that they are featured so prominently? Not even a glimmer of foreshadowing.

April - who is she? what do we know about her beyond her chronic changing of jobs? We got one glimpse of her home--hardly a character moment as she was passively watching tv. All we know is that she is friends with the turtles, has a 90s level 'attitude,' and swings a baseball bat. how'd she even meet our heroes? if I've missed anything out of watching the episodes, that doesn't exactly bode well for characterization if character points fly by in a blink.

Splinter - the less I say about this character, the better. I have always disliked this character, but this is the first time I also disrespect him.

Donatello - I actually don't mind this characterization, and he's the most enjoyable right now. his budding arrogance and strong emotion is interesting, and while I still enjoy the quieter versions from before, he feels the least stretched out of shape. this is a teenage genius coming into his own, but without the introversion or thoughtfulness of previous Donatellos.

Michelangelo - doesn't feel like Mikey. he just feels there. he's supposed to be more of an artist, but I'm not seeing much in the way of that. it's a shame--it could be interesting to see what he's like, nevermind with this as the weak justification for the design of the lair. why not see Michelangelo actually creating art? Probably not enough wacky hijinx to cram in.

Raphael - I'm not seeing where this responsibility is coming from. In previous incarnations, he chafed against decisions being made for him. In this...what is his core thought process for decision-making? Sometimes it's family safety, sometimes it's taking out bad guys, sometimes it's teenager cockiness...but this leadership doesn't feel like it's coming from the same place. His decisions feel like they come from whatever impetus the show requires. It would be an easy fix, but for now, the comedy about his smell seems to be the only consistent choice for him.

Leonardo - you can see where they're taking the character. he's a liar--no second thought at luring his brothers into harm's way in a maze--adept at thievery--he slips the artifact away from under Splinter's nose and snags a ring right out of a villain's hand. fame oriented, wanting recognition from his brothers, the crowd, while receiving almost none, and openly stated that he wants to be a champion yet falls short. but thievery and deceit are a ninja's tools in trade, so once again, unless I miss my mark, Leonardo's conflict will become the focus that the show pivots on.

Turtles as a Whole - what do their rooms look like? the lair set says it has Mikey's arcade, Donatello's backpack storage, Raph's weights, Leo’s weapons racks...but their own rooms? their own spaces? where are they in the cartoons? easy and quick ways to show the audience their characters, but unless I blinked, I didn't see it.

villains - feel hollow, monster-of-the-week'ish, with little in the way of a story arc and even less in terms of character beyond what springs from the original take of their design. this is maybe the most disappointing for me. I'd hoped for a villain at least equal to Oroku Saki, Karai, the Triceratons, anything. I have a worm, a sweaty pig chef, a looming villain who's only loomed once, some mutant silverfish, some paper folders, a few thugs here and there with a gimmick or two...

and a Mutant City - that hasn't been given any attention.

For a world where mutants seem to abound, to hold repo jobs even, why are the TMNT living underground?

No, really. Why are they living underground? Forget what you know about previous incarnations, forget the Foot, forget ooze, everything. This is a new take. So why are they underground? Why are they in the city? Why do they live with a giant rat? In the 2003 version, their characters were established in the first two minutes, their history divulged quickly. In Mirage, they were established in the first issue to the point that Shredder's story arced and peaked and ended. In the first toon, they took three episodes to establish the world and characters. In 2k12, we see the brothers facing off in conflict that establishes who they are and the tone of the show while demonstrating what's changed all in five minutes.

I still don't know the background for this new show.

I hope it finds its feet soon. I hope it becomes interesting. Right now it feels like it's floating around without an anchor. Unless it solidifies up soon, I don't see it leaving much in the way of an impact on the franchise aside from design choices and children who are raised on this first.

[lindburgsreviews]

Justice League Movie Review

Justice League was directed by Zach Snyder and stars Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, and Ezra Miller in a continuation of what has come be known as the DC Expanded Universe. Following the events of Batman vs. Superman, Superman appears to be dead, leaving humanity vulnerable to a catastrophic attack from different threats from around the universe. Bruce Wayne and Diana Prince decide to take action and assemble a team of people with extraordinary powers and abilities to protect the world from the impending rise of an ancient force known as Steppenwolf. I actually wasn’t sure if I wanted to see this movie, until I realized I have seen every movie that is a part of the DCEU, so I might as well check it out. As lackluster as most of these movies in this universe have been, there are still a lot of concepts and characters that I find interesting. 

My favorite part about this movie was probably the characters. I feel like Zach Snyder did a good job fleshing out them in this individual movie, even though most of them have had very little screen time in the other ones they have appeared in. Each one has a very distinct personality, realistic faults, but are still easy to like. Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot did a great job once again as Batman and Wonder Woman, but Ezra Snyder as the Flash, Jason Momoa as Aquaman, and Ray Fisher as Cyborg also had strong debuts as their own respective characters. I may even go as far to say that Ezra Miller stole a few scenes with a great sense of comedic timing and funny one-liners. This contributed to the whole tone of the movie being a considerable improvement compared to Man of Steel and BvS. No longer drab, dower, and moody, this  movie has a much more varied tone and generally upbeat feel to it. 

The scenes where the team works together in combat are especially well-done. The fight scenes suffer from the chronic superhero problem of constantly devolving in to fist fights even though all the characters have incredible powers and weapons to use, but regardless,  it was a lot of fun seeing the characters playing off one another and seeing their teamwork improve as the movie progresses. I also like the diversity of the team. You have the experienced members in Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman, but also the youth of Flash and Cyborg thrown in with the roguish  Aquaman and a really interesting team dynamic is created.

In terms of negatives, there were quite a few I couldn’t look past. The story as a whole isn’t very cohesive, and some scenes just didn’t fit will with the narrative. This could be because Zach Snyder had to step away from the project and Joss Whedon filled in, as well as the run time being limited by Warner Brothers to two hours max, but there were still quite a few awkward transitions between scenes and heavy handed exposition. The villain in Steppenwolf is also very forgettable. His motives are very weak, and just isn’t very interesting. And as much as I liked Ezra Miller’s performance, his humor did get stale after a little while. A very minor disappointment I also had in this movie was J.K. Simmons’ role as Commissioner Gordon. He’s only in a couple scenes, but he’s such a fantastic actor and I think the role of Jim Gordon is perfect for him. Maybe we will see more of him in future movies, but I think he was still criminally underused.

In the end, I was pleasantly surprised by Justice League. It was much better than all the other DCEU movies excluding Wonder Woman, but I may actually like this movie better. There are a lot of problems, but it was still an enjoyable experience with a lot of great moments. I won’t tell you to rush to the theater and see it, but it also doesn’t deserve the 39% critic rating it has on Rotten Tomatoes as of right now. 

Rating on the Lindburg Scale: 7.7 out of 10