#Chocolate cake by Michael Rosen

[she-ra-ra-skirt]

Chocolate Cake

I love chocolate cake. And when I was a boy I loved it even more.

Sometimes we used to have it for tea and Mum used to say, 'If there's any left over you can have it to take to school tomorrow to have at playtime.' And the next day I would take it to school wrapped up in tin foil open it up at playtime and sit in the corner of the playground eating it, you know how the icing on top is all shiny and it cracks as you bite into it, and there's that other kind of icing in the middle and it sticks to your hands and you can lick your fingers and lick your lips oh it's lovely. yeah.

Anyway, once we had this chocolate cake for tea and later I went to bed but while I was in bed I found myself waking up licking my lips and smiling. I woke up proper. 'The chocolate cake.' It was the first thing 1 thought of.

I could almost see it so I thought, what if I go downstairs and have a little nibble, yeah?

It was all dark everyone was in bed so it must have been really late but I got out of bed, crept out of the door

there's always a creaky floorboard, isn't there?

Past Mum and Dad's room, careful not to tread on bits of broken toys or bits of Lego you know what it's like treading on Lego with your bare feet,

yowwww shhhhhhh

downstairs  into the kitchen open the cupboard and there it is all shining.

So I take it out of the cupboard put it on the table and I see that there's a few crumbs lying about on the plate, so I lick my finger and run my finger all over the crumbs scooping them up and put them into my mouth.

oooooooommmmmmmmm

nice. < br>Then I look again and on one side where it's been cut, it's all crumbly.

So I take a knife I think I'll just tidy that up a bit, cut off the crumbly bits scoop them all up and into the mouth

oooooommm mmmm nice.

Look at the cake again.

That looks a bit funny now, one side doesn't match the other I'll just even it up a bit, eh?

Take the knife and slice. This time the knife makes a little cracky noise as it goes through that hard icing on top.

A whole slice this time,

into the mouth.

Oh the icing on top and the icing in the middle ohhhhhh oooo mmmmmm.

But now I can't stop myself Knife - 1 just take any old slice at it and I've got this great big chunk and I'm cramming it in what a greedy pig but it's so nice,

and there's another and another and I'm squealing and I'm smacking my lips and I'm stuffing myself with it and before I know I've eaten the lot. The whole lot.

I look at the plate. It's all gone.

Oh no they're bound to notice, aren't they, a whole chocolate cake doesn't just disappear does it?

What shall I do?

I know. I'll wash the plate up, and the knife

and put them away and maybe no one will notice, eh?

So I do that and creep creep creep back to bed into bed doze off licking my lips with a lovely feeling in my belly. Mmmmrnmmmmm.

In the morning I get up, downstairs, have breakfast, Mum's saying, 'Have you got your dinner money?' and I say, 'Yes.' 'And don't forget to take some chocolate cake with you.' I stopped breathing.

'What's the matter,' she says, 'you normally jump at chocolate cake?'

I'm still not breathing, and she's looking at me very closely now.

She's looking at me just below my mouth. 'What's that?' she says. 'What's what?' I say.

'What's that there?' 'Where?' 'There,' she says, pointing at my chin. 'I don't know,' I say. 'It looks like chocolate,' she says. 'It's not chocolate is it?' No answer. 'Is it?' 'I don't know.' She goes to the cupboard looks in, up, top, middle, bottom, turns back to me. 'It's gone. It's gone. You haven't eaten it, have you?' 'I don't know.' 'You don't know. You don't know if you've eaten a whole chocolate cake or not? When? When did you eat it?'

So I told her,

and she said well what could she say? 'That's the last time I give you any cake to take to school. Now go. Get out no wait not before you've washed your dirty sticky face.' I went upstairs looked in the mirror and there it was, just below my mouth, a chocolate smudge. The give-away. Maybe she'll forget about it by next week.

Alright tell me in the tags, what’s Your Poem? That poem you heard once and it has dwelt within you ever since?

[maddthegoblin]

Chocolate cake

so i’m watching teotfw and it’s great and i adore it, but there’s this bit after james turned himself into the police and he’s talking to this guy who works there and it’s really serious… but the worker is played by this guy that looks so much like michael rosen, yknow chocolate cake guy. i don’t know if anyone understood that reference but i just really needed to get that out my system

[thefloofyfurret]

"When I was a boy, I have a favorite treat, when my mum made chocolate cake."

- Michael Rosen

[phoebe-the-autism-fairy]

Why Matt Walsh is a terrible "children's author"

So I study children's literature at university, and about a year ago I watched a video posted by Sam Collins, who is a wonderful trans YouTuber, and he was reacting to a children's book written by an infamous transphobe and self-proclaimed fascist, Matt Walsh. This book was called "Johnny the Walrus", and allegedly it's about identity. About a kid who pretended to be a walrus and the so-called "internet people" took it literally and forced him to actually be a walrus. He did this as an analogy to mock trans people and trans children.

Not only is the book inappropriate, hateful and horrendously transphobic, but it's just a bad piece of literature in general. And I get that opinions are subjective, but this is from what I've observed from the book and what I've learned at university.

Starting off, there is a concept in analysing literature known as "death of the author and birth of the reader", in which the reader is able to have their own interpretation of a piece of literature regardless of what the author intended for the story. However, children as young as what this book is aimed at most likely don't have this concept, and therefore won't understand the analogy that Matt is trying to make. Because gender and animals are two very different topics, the most the book will do is convince children that playing pretend games is bad and that it will get them into trouble. As a kid I pretended to be various characters from TV shows I liked such as Nuzzle from this show called Nuzzle and Scratch but nobody ever forced me to become a fucking alpaca did they?

It's so odd to me that someone actually let him into a classroom full of children in order to spread his propaganda when more likely than not, these kids are not gonna know what the fuck he's on about. And when he's reading his wasted tree to children, he is not truly engaging with the children, and in turn, the children look bored and uncomfortable with his presence. He just has no interest in the children, or in actual children's fiction, he's clearly just there to spread hateful ideologies. And plus he kinda looks like a nonce but I digress-

And plus, when you're writing children's literature, it obviously needs to be written with sincerity, and to actually entertain children. For example, if you look at children's authors such as Michael Rosen, when he performs his stories such as 'No Breathing in Class' or 'Chocolate Cake', he interacts with the children very well, the children who are listening to his stories are entertained and engaged in the story, because Rosen not only tells the story, he also SHOWS the story, making faces and using body language to further express his stories. He's funny and relatable, he makes jokes and the themes of his stories and poems are light-hearted and suitable for all ages. That's what makes a good children's writer.

On the other hand, in Matt Walsh's story, there's nothing remotely fun or exciting or creative about the story at all, it's just bland and there is no substance. And it's only purpose is to serve conservative ideologies. Not to mention the illustrations are abysmal. Just because the narration is rhyming and it has illustrations, doesn't make it good, or remotely appropriate to read to children.

Also for the love of jesus, if you are writing a book for kids, don't include things like "bigot" or "internet people", or anything along the lines of a "woke mob", because kids won't understand that, and also it's cringe. Things like that do not need to be in a children's book thank you.

And plus, even if this story was literal, it would be inaccurate anyway. Because actual parents of transchildren are not forcing their kid to surgically transition because that would just be irresponsible parenting. Yeah, the kid may socially transition, such as cutting their hair, wearing different clothes, etc, but it doesn't go any further than that.

Face it my guy, you can't write for children so maybe just stick to ya shitty podcast.

[whatwebake2024]

6/1/24

mini Bruce from Get Baked ... fun to make and execute.... ganache split 3 times but we got there. the recipe in the book is for "10-40 servings"... so I quartered the recipe. I've still frozen 8 slices ain't I 🤦not gna pretend I'm mad tho lol

cake is rich and chocolatey and such a treat. every time I make a chocolate cake it reminds me of one of my favourite poems that I've loved since I was little about a kid who just loved chocolate cake.... It was called Chocolate Cake by Michael Rosen. Still makes me happy to read it now! 🍰

[majormeilani]

alright. so.

the most accurate representation of a voiceclaim that i've ever found that represents his voice almost PERFECTLY to how i imagined him to sound is "michael rosen" (which i realized when someone referenced the "chocolate cake" meme and the "*mouth pop* noice" meme)

but em yeah. that's exactly how i imagined he'd sound. :')

should i reveal who cassidy's voice claim is. do y'all want to know what this british bitch sounds like because tbh you're not going to want to believe it. i didn't want to either when i realized who i imagined he sounds like but it's literally spot on what i imagined

[gingerpop42]

This is fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. More fabulous than I can tell you. If you've not fallen in love with Michael Rosen by now then you must have been living on another planet. Go and watch him read the poem on YouTube and then come back and tell me it's the most fabulously chocolatey thing you've ever seen. To tell you the truth I'd forgotten about it for a while, but with a little nephew things don't stay forgotten for long. I thought he might burst he was laughing so much. And now, NOW it's in book form too. Lucky us! The book has all the joy of the video, but now you can make your own silly sounds with your little ones instead. I don't have any little ones, so I just make the noises up against the wall between me and my neighbour, so they know they're missing out on the best chocolate cake ever.

[harukamitsuki]

Who else remembers this guy and his chocolate cake?

https://www.youtube.com/c/MichaelRosenOfficial

I sure as hell do

[ss-fren-drocket]

since hickory loves chocolate cake, has she ever met michael rosen?

Its a blessing and a curseThis is just based off of a really funny mod I have installed

[learninsta]

Chivvy Summary in English by Michael Rosen

Chivvy Summary in English by Michael Rosen

We have decided to create the most comprehensive English Summary that will help students with learning and understanding.

Chivvy Summary in English by Michael Rosen Chivvy by Michael Rosen About the Poet Poet Name Michael Wayne Rosen Born 7 May 1946 (age 74 years), Harrow, United Kingdom Movies Chocolate Cake, We’re Going on a Bear Hunt EducationUniversity of Liverpool, Watford Boys…

[paharvey99]

No Waitrose October 6 - Day 14

Day 14

I appeared on a panel at a conference today. The panel was in London, so I got up at 6am and went to London. I had breakfast at Brighton station, from the Curry Leaf Café stall. The Curry Leaf Café is a great curry house in Brighton that opened a few years ago and now has various outposts across the city, including at the station. You can get a full curry with all the trimmings should you wish, but I went for a bacon sandwich this morning, which I shoved down me as I was waiting for them to announce the platform of the Gatwick Express service to London.

I have great brand loyalty to the Gatwick Express these days. It’s the only train between Brighton and London that has a reliable Wi-Fi, plus it’s much quicker than Southern or Thameslink. If you’re paying £61 for a day travelcard to London (yes, sixty one pounds) you at least want to be able to pretend to be doing some work on the train.

Don’t worry, I’m charging that £61 to expenses.

Arrived in London and had to join the scrum at Victoria tube station. Ended up waiting for a train while standing at the very edge of the platform, I really hate doing that. I don’t know how people do that every day, it’s horrible. The thing I was going to was near Angel tube, in Islington. I did the panel thing and then went for some lunch at Pho, as it was lunchtime and I really fancied some noodle soup. Plus I could charge it to expenses. I don’t think I’ve ever been to Pho, but I was the only one in there at lunchtime and it was a bit sad all round really; one of those chain restaurants that used to be trendy, but now is a bit dull and average. I paid the bill and got a train home.

The person I live with and the three year-old I live with met me at Brighton station, as the former had to go into work for a work thing. I took the three year-old I live with around town for a bit. The last month or so she has really got into shopping, she’s so sophisticated. Before they met me the person I live with and the three year-old I live with had spent 40 minutes in Home Sense, carefully perusing every aisle, even the pet toys.

We nipped down into North Laine to the Brighton Sausage Company, which does exactly what it says on the tin, and I bought six Bratwurst. The Brighton Sausage Company also sells cheese, and they had some cheese out to try, so the three year-old I live with and I tried it. It was a young pecorino, apparently.

The three year-old I live with was asking to go to the book shop, as I’d basically promised to buy her a book at the weekend and then hadn’t and hoped she would forget about it. She hadn’t forgotten about it, so we went to Waterstones and she picked out a book about a fairytale hairdresser or something, it was a real drudge. Seeing as I had committed to buying a book I thought I ought to make it a half-decent one, so I went looking for something half-decent. Generally anything that is a 20 or 30-year anniversary edition seems a good bet, as those ones by rights should have a bit of re-readability to them.

I found a 35-year anniversary edition of Not Now Bernard by David McKee, but it wasn’t a huge hit. Then I remembered she loves Michael Rosen, so I went looking for Michael Rosen books and found a picture book version of his poem Chocolate Cake, which I remember thinking was hilarious in Mrs Hickson’s class. It went down a storm, proper gurgly giggles and everything. We bought it and got the bus home.

Back at home I made some tea for the three year-old I live with and tried to combat the tiredness that was kicking in. The three year-old I live with must have sensed I was at a low ebb, as she decided to choose this moment to insist that I read Mr Men stories to her while she ate her pork and noodles. Seriously, have you read the Mr Men books recently? The pictures are great, but the stories are abysmal. I was losing the will to live, so when she’d finished eating I played the guitar for a bit and she jumped on the bed, which is a fun new game we have.

In the bath the three year-old I live with asked me to put Mick Cave on my phone, which was quite amusing. I put on the Nick Cave song Breathless, as she has got into it because of its unexpected cartoon rabbit video. Then she asked for another Mick Cave song with the rabbits and I had to explain for the second night running that Nick Cave doesn’t have any other songs with cartoon rabbits in them and that if she goes around expecting Nick Cave to be surrounded by animated woodland friends she will be sorely disappointed.

I put on the song Red Right Hand to show her what Nick Cave is really like and her face fell. “Does he not do the rabbits?”, she asked sadly. No he does not.

Somehow, the three year-old I live with was asleep by 7.30pm, which is almost unheard of, so I found myself with an unexpected hour or two in the evening. I filled it by making myself some tea, as the person I live with was still out at her work thing. I made a Chinese-inspired spicy tomato pork thing with lots of veg in it. It wasn’t remotely authentic, but it was quite tasty.

After that I cut my hair. It was getting a bit long and untamed, and there’s really nothing you can do with my hair apart from just trim it back. I realised years ago that it made much more sense for me to do this myself with some trimmers, so that’s what I do. Then the person I live with got back and expressed dismay that I had cut my hair, then laughed at my new haircut. Despite this, I am very pleased with it.

Didn’t go to Waitrose.

[pantryplanet65-blog]

‘Top Chef Kentucky’ Recap: A Christmas Surprise With Eric Ripert

Although this episode was clearly filmed last spring, it’s actually Christmas week on Top Chef Kentucky, and all the cheftestepants must compete in a series of yuletide challenges peppered with surprises from a bunch of guest stars.

The pricey lamb still haunts Eddie

At the start of the episode Nini is still stoked about her elimination challenge win in the last episode, and, indeed, it seems like it will be hard for her to top the universally-praised spoonbread étouffée that she made for the judges. Eddie, meanwhile, just can’t get over his ill-advised Whole Foods lamb purchase, which effectively threw several of his fellow teammates under the bus during the last challenge. “I’m not trying to be the villain, I’m not trying to hurt anyone on purpose,” Eddie tells the camera. “I don’t think this guilt’s going to go away quickly.” In other news, it appears that there is a bromance brewing between tall guys Brandon and Brian, who bond over the fact that they’re both a little obsessed with their hair.

Yankee Swap in the Quickfire kitchen

When the cheftestepants arrive at the Top Chef Kentucky culinary bunker, they are greeted by Padma Lakshmi, Season 4 favorite Richard Blais, and Season 14 winner Brooke Williamson. Jersey David is particularly excited to see Mr. Blais. “I’m geeking out right now,” he says. “I have a man crush, sir.” As you may recall, David also had a similar reaction to learning he’d be cooking for Gail Simmons in the last episode, suggesting that he may just have a thing for Quickfire judges.

Left to right: Justin Sutherland, Sara Bradley, Eric Adjepong, Brandon Rosen, Adrienne Wright, Brian Young, Kelsey Barnard, Eddie Konrad, David Viana, Pablo Lamon

Michael Hickey/Bravo

For this challenge, the chefs have two minutes to collect whatever they can from the pantry and put their loot in boxes decorated like Christmas presents. When the mad dash is over, Padma reveals that the competitors will then participate in a White Elephant/Yankee Swap, a tradition that Brian correctly describes as “a mean-spirited gift exchange.” After some strategic trading, the team then heads to the kitchen to turn those boxes into dishes for the judges, with 30 minutes on the clock. Justin gets the short end of the stick here by picking up Kevin’s box. “This dude picked five different kinds of flour, but no eggs to potentially turn this into a kind of dough or a pasta,” he remarks.

In between all of the chopping and de-boning of poultry, the chefs talk a bit about their holiday traditions. “I’m like the one Jewish kid in Kentucky,” Sara says. “Having Hanukkah in the South is kinda fun. You get a lots of fried food. My mom always cooked chopped liver, latkes, matzoh ball soup, all kinds of stuff.” Kelsey, meanwhile, is not having such a great time working through her box of asparagus and ham. “I do like the way my plate looks,” she says once the dish is finished. “It’s bright green, it’s pretty, but it’s stupid.”

Richard Blais, Brooke Williamson, and Padma Lakshmi

Michael Hickey/Bravo

That riff on bacon-wrapped asparagus proves to be one of the judges’ least favorite dishes of the challenge, along with Justin’s kimchi meatloaf, and Eddie’s carrot curry. The judges determine that the best dishes of the Quickfire are Sara’s riff on chicken liver, Nini’s cranberry chutney, and David’s leek carbonara. For the second week in a row, David wins immunity.

A Christmas Eve feast with a surprise guest

Before leaving the barrel-lined bunker, Padma tells the crew that they have a surprise waiting for them back at the Top Chef Kentucky mansion. As soon as they walk through the doors of the palatial estate, they are greeted by judges Top Colicchio and Graham Elliot. “We decided to surprise you guys with a little holiday cheer,” Tom explains. The mansion’s long dining room table is adorned with place settings for the whole group, holiday decorations, and dozens upon dozens of San Pellegrino bottles. After the 13 contestants sit down, they are also surprised to learn that they will be dining in the company of one Eric Ripert. “It’s great to see you here, and this is a fantastic way to celebrate Christmas — in French, the Reveillon de Noel,” Ripert remarks. “It’s what we do in France. We celebrate with family and friends — just fun.”

All of the chefs seem legitimately stoked to be breaking bread with the legendary Le Bernardin chef. “I’m at an absolute loss for words,” Justin says. “I can’t tell if I’m shaking or I’m going to crap my pants. It’s a scene straight out of A Christmas Carol.” Meanwhile, the chefs start swapping stories about their own holiday traditions: Eric and his family play board games as a throwback to the Blackout of ’96; Kevin’s kith and kin do all the cooking around the holidays so he can get a break from the kitchen; and Nini’s family usually makes a Chinese-inspired feast, although she hasn’t celebrated with them in three years, ever since her brother lost his battle with cancer.

Left to right: Pablo Lamon, Eddie Konrad, Brian Young, Sara Bradley, Kevin Scharpf, Richard Blais, Padma Lakshmi, David Viana

Michael Hickey/Bravo

Midnight madness

After the chefs have tucked into the Christmas feast and drained most of the wine, Tom tosses a surprise their way: there is no dessert course, because they actually have to cook it in the kitchen of the Top Chef Kentucky mansion as this week’s elimination challenge. “Well, here we go, it’s actually midnight — this should be fun and interesting,” Eddie quips. “If I get sent home, at least I got to eat dinner with Eric Ripert.”

Although Tom and Padma have set up the kitchen with enough ingredients and equipment to prepare all manner of desserts, the challenge is still fairly chaotic. “This is brutal,” Kelsey says. “We’ve got 13 people sharing these ovens constantly, and they’re opening and closing them constantly, and you cannot do that with macarons.” During the competition, Brandon reveals that while he is not a pastry chef, he did grow up working at his family’s sweets shop, which was called “Leogold’s Fantazel-madazel Chocolate Factory.”

The ricotta cake that ruined Christmas

At around 2 a.m. the bleary-eyed chefs serve their dishes to Tom, Padma, Eric, Brooke, and Richard, and then head upstairs to bed. In the morning — Christmas morning in Top Chef land — the chefs receive the verdicts on their midnight desserts. After acknowledging the unusual circumstances of the challenge, the judges reveal that they liked Eddie’s strawberry-fennel shortcake, Kelsey’s chocolate pot de crème with biscotti, and Nini’s blackberry & lemon vacherin. For the second week in a row, Nini wins the elimination challenge.

The bottom three desserts are Kevin’s way-too-salty ricotta cake, Brian’s acidic biscuit nightmare, and Pablo’s uneven chocolate and black pepper ganache. Ultimately, the judges decide that the salty ricotta cake was so bad that it shouldn’t have even been served, and it’s time for Kevin to pack his knives and go. “The dessert was just so salty it was inedible, but we’ll see you in Last Chance Kitchen,” Tom tells the Iowa-based chef on his way out the door.

“One thing Top Chef teaches you about yourself is how much there is to evolve,” Kevin says after leaving the barrel bunker. “This has recharged me to reconsider how I look at food and not look at that evolution just because I might be in a small town. This is definitely inspiring me to get out there. Now there’s something that I can work on and build off of, and I’m excited for that.”

Eat, Drink, Watch.

Food entertainment news and streaming recommendations every Friday

By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Policy and European users agree to the data transfer policy.

Source: https://www.eater.com/2018/12/21/18151233/top-chef-naughty-and-nice-recap-season-16-episode-3

[themadnessthatis]

1,2,3 meme

1, 2, 3 meme

Tagged by the always lovely @theleftboobgrabber​ :) (as an addendum, fucking hell how long has this thing been in here? i can see the dust in the draft box and it’s on the fucking internet!)

One Song: Born Depressed - Saxophone cover by Carl Catron & Phillip Galatioto (the original song is sweet too, but this remix, holy moley...)

Two Movies: The Hunchback of Notre Dame & 13 Ghosts

Three Tv Shows: The Amazing World of Gumball, Dr Who & Digimon

Four People: Michael Rosen (for his awesome poetry/Stories) , Ashens (for his hilarious content) , Jim Sterling (for the awesome content and insightful view into the cesspits that are Steam & the VG community) and @feministingforchange (for being a great source of information, inspiration and all around, a great person to talk to, even if it is from time to time ^^)

Five Foods: Cheesecake, Cadbury’s chocolate (barring Bourneville and Fruit & Nut), Mammoth Pops (basically gobstoppers on a stick) , Prawn Cocktail -flavoured crisps & ham & olive savoury cake .

Six People To Tag: @lxrenzaccio and anyone else who wants to (sorry i don’t have six mutuals on here who i feel would do this xD

[culturalnewstoday]

Michael Rosen's Chocolate Cake review – half-baked sweet treat https://ift.tt/2v2EzHh

[headoverhiddles]

lams:: MEMES

John always tried to find a reason to love Alexander. Always. Through the good and the bad, the rough and the ugly, the love poems and the Jefferson rants… he found the good in their relationship.

Even when Alexander was keeping him up at 4 AM listening to that stupid Robbie Rotten song without headphones.

“Are you watching fucking show Lazy Town again?” John grumbled, staring over at Alex and his dumb laptop. 

“Can’t sleep,” Alexander mumbled back, eyes never moving from the screen.

“You’re obsessed.”

“It’s catchy.”

“Shut it off, I can’t fall asleep to that.”

Alexander groaned, but compliantly put the lid down. With that, he curled into Laurens’ back, spooning him from behind, and a smile finally came to John… until Alexander began to hum the ridiculous tune. 

Fml, was all he could think.

The next day, Alex was hopping all over the apartment, trying to teach John how to be a villain. When John shut him down, he just looked bedraggled, so he kept going on and on about stupid We Are Number One and… Michel Rosebalm? Michelo Riden? 

“Michael Rosen is a visionary,” Alexander’s eyes were wide. They were eating dinner, and John was sleep deprived and angry. 

“How so?” the freckled South Carolinian managed to grit out, because this was it. This was marriage. 

“Because he can talk about chocolate cake and his murderous parents for one minute, then the next he’s talking about the evolution of a child’s future and the relevance of strawberry jam in it! It’s fucking awe-inspiring.” 

“Uh huh.”

“Anyway, so Jefferson was talking today in the meeting with Wash, and he’s all like: ‘our rates have gone down’ and me, an intellectual, was like: ‘no they haven’t, you fucking shitcarriage!’”

Later, in bed, they were having sex- god help John, they were having sex, even though Alex was being an ass and he really shouldn’t want this right now- and that went to shit too. 

“Can I ask you something, love?” Alex asked, sucking John’s fingers into his mouth. 

“What, babygirl?” John panted from behind him, “Mmm, ask me anything, yeah…” 

“Mmmm… have you ever…” 

John awaited his husband’s question, biting his lip. He was close, and he needed whatever Alex was going to say to push him over the edge- it was sure to be filthy as all hell. 

“Have you ever…” he batted his eyelashes, “Caught a real superhero?”

“Aaargh!!” John screamed in anguish, flipping over and tossing the covers over his head. 

But oh, did he have the perfect sweet revenge. Herc knew a lot about memes, so he was the perfect consultant for this plan. Alexander was presenting at a university lecture hall the next week- the university John worked at- and John himself was supposed to introduce him. 

Alex looked at John and gave him a nervous thumbs up from the side as John stepped up to the podium. 

“Alright, alright… that’s what I’m talking about!” he announced to the audience, smiling warmly, “Now, our next speaker is a man who is revolutionary in both his creative ideas and the company that he helped found with other great men and women in the industry. Introducing…” then he looked down at his hand, squinting at the smudged writing. “…Unassembled Hammock Stand!”

Alexander stopped cold, and two loud, obnoxiously familiar men at the back of the hall could be heard laughing amongst the crowd. 

“I hate you,” Alex grumbled in his ear as he passed, and John blew him a kiss. 

“Guess I’m a real villain now, huh babe?” 

—-

send me ham ships + a word

[countesschewi]

Do you think Michael Rosen is a top or a bottom? Please explain your answer.

I absolutely do not remember when I got this ask so I’m answering it now.

I think he’s absolutely a top - he has a lot of energy and as a storyteller he’s used to being the one in charge of the experience. Also he was able to eat an entire chocolate cake in one sitting without assistance so that has to count for something.