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dysthymia-wet-specimen · 3 months ago

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re: being "groomed" into radical feminism

i was raised by a (non-radical but shares some beliefs) feminist mom who was super anti-porn (irl porn due to exploitation) and always taught me to stand up to misogyny. throughout my life she's been the biggest advocate and protector of me through medical misogyny, ableism in the school system, and helping fight for justice against poorly handled sexual harassment reports i made against classmates who'd been inappropriate to me.

i went through puberty during gamergate, an era of "feminist cringe comps" and buzzfeed manspreading videos. i was in comp-sci and stem spaces, surrounded by these sweaty hentai addict nerds, some even grown men breathing down my neck for being a "female who plays real video games" *pushes up nerd glasses* no matter what community it was, coding, anime, furry fandom, my local gsa spaces, there was always a permeating stench of male supremacy, sexualization of women/female people, and a blatant disregard of respect for the "walking fleshlights" in the room. "what's better, tits or ass?" "oh this anime is so peak, wdym you don't like it cause there's also panty shots of underage girls in it?" "keep furry weird! the horse fursuit with styrofoam G cup breast padding is such an icon!" "terfs* can suck my girlcock" (*which i later found out meant anything from hating trans people to respecting but not wanting to sleep with them, and sometimes conservatives are labeled under this branch of "radical.... feminist?")

seeing time and time again the way women and female people are pushed aside, unconsensually sexualized, or even had rape jokes/threats made abt them, is what made me radical.

I used to think my mom was crazy. "Everyone says bitch? what do you mean it's sexist when guys call women that?" "telling a stranger to choke on a dick isn't rapey its just an insult to someone" "every male watches porn, don't they?" Sexism had stained my life to the point that there was no "safe space" for me. I could no longer keep my eyes closed to the horror that is the female experience. "Radfems won't just respect cause you have a vagina" Well talking about my breasts certainly didn't stop being misogynistic once I told you my pronouns were he/they? i don't believe what others tell me to believe out of wanting to be accepted.

when the mainstream liberal men speak over human trafficking survivors to justify upholding the porn/prostitution industry. when fandom spaces welcome child erotica with open arms under the guise of "anti-censorship for queer media", all while adults pushed the limits of "family friendly convention hours" further and further, being called a "fascist puriteen" for not wanting to see a guy in a thong and a dog mask being walked on all fours during the public pride parade at 1pm in fucking massachusetts...

i'm tired of stepping on eggshells to be the "good feminist". FOR ANYONE. i'm gonna be the most obnoxious they/he nonbinary transmasc radical feminist there ever was. i don't care i'm too "TRA" or too "radfem" to fit into your boxes. fuck your boxes dude!

Let adults make decisions about their own bodies. Call people what name/pronouns they want to be called. Trans people are oppressed and at risk of violence. Children don't need to transition to be respected. Not all trans people can/will have certain surgical procedures but are still valid. The only scenario in which asking trans ppl about their procedures is when its in a (consensually) sexual or medical context, otherwise asking ppl invasive questions abt their privates without consent for your "entertainment" is sexual harassment. Trans people aren't here to satisfy your fetish for our bodies. Making fun of trans people who aren't doing anything wrong is cringe behavior. You can't be a feminist and a conservative/trump-supporter. trans women when perceived as women face misogyny even if they weren't born/raised female and aren't effected by certain issues of reproductive rights or medical misogyny. gnc-phobia is bad even when it's against men, being gnc doesn't make someone trans

are all statements that can coexist with: Respect single-sex spaces (female only housing, gyms, DV shelters, etc. You deserve safe spaces too, but so do we. trans men and nonbinary female people benefit from female-only spaces too!). Some people are only attracted to people who were born male or female, no matter how much you transition, some people are same-SEX attracted, not just same-gender. if you are trans you need to disclose that before sex. being lgbt doesn't make you a predator, but that doesn't mean you should excuse predatory behavior from other ppl in that community (happened to me multiple times sadly, also see ava kris tyson situation/response). in US politics, abortion and reproductive rights needs to be centered more in bodily autonomy conversations, women bleeding out over a pregnancy they're forced to have is not the same as choosing to kys over surgery bans. (though suicide is bad and trans ppl should be aloud to decide what to do with their adult body) intersex people shouldn't be used as an argument point by radfems or trans people, using someones medical condition to win arguments is weirdo behavior... criticizing misogyny/rape culture/anti-female behavior in lgbt spaces isn't the same as hating trans people. misandry isn't real (at least in the USA/western culture) (men can be oppressed differently based on minority status, but men/males are not inherently/systemically oppressed the way someone is for being female. there's not a male hate movement killing and raping men like there is for incels. "misandry" is just as real as "reverse racism/racism to white people", aka bullshit)

i'm not going to go through every single post someone makes to see if they're "agreeable enough" to reblog. my opinions are my own. and i'm happy to clarify that, but does porn and rape culture stop being bad the woman speaking out against it has a wrong opinion? are you fucking kidding me?

not every radfem takes me seriously, not every trans person takes me seriously. i just left the radfem community i really enjoyed due to personal conflict (sadly, but hoping to keep in touch still on tumblr). i'm not a poor victim of the evil radfems. i'm female in a male supremacist world and i woke the fuck up.

#trans inclusive radical feminism #tirf #tirfblr #nuancefem #radblr #trans inclusive feminism #radfemblr #radical feminism #radical feminist community

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honeyxbunny99 · 9 months ago

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Sandor Clegane~ The Bitch and The Hound pt. 1

You bit your tongue as you scrubbed at King Joffrey's stinking royal feet. The taste of blood and pain mingling in your mouth was the only thing strong enough to distract you from your own humiliation in this moment. You could blame Joffrey Baratheon, the foolish demon before you. You stole a glance upwards only for your eyes to quickly flit back down in shame when you saw his thin lips curled up in a wiry smile, hatred in his blue eyes, and it was all directed at you. No, not all the blame on him. Your father.

Your father was to blame, that damned fool. He was the reason you were in this mess in the first place. Once your father had been charming, or so you were told. A traveling magician who settled in King's Landing when your beautiful mother opened her legs to him one night. Truly, the greatest trick he'd ever pulled was bedding your mother. She was said to be the most beautiful woman in the Reach once, before she was trafficked to marry another noble. One fateful stop for the night, wine, and slight of hand, and you came into existence. You, who were once not even a thought, were suddenly a big problem. She was found with your father and bloody sheets and thrown out into the cold. She bore your stupid father one more child, a girl, before she couldn't handle her life any longer, and ended it herself.

~Good riddance.~ You used to think sometimes. ~How could you leave us?~ You thought all other times.

YOU were now the most beautiful girl in King's Landing, or as your father would bolster, in all the Seven Kingdoms. He had made it his mission in life to improve your family's circumstances, through no work of his own. No, your family's future depended entirely on your pretty face. Barely 17, you had developed a reputation around town for your beauty, and your mystery. You were not allowed to walk about unescorted, but your family had no money. Your father would walk you everywhere, keeping his prize close to his chest at all times. You were no fool; you knew you were beautiful by the way people's heads turned in the streets. By the way shopkeepers offered you items freely and how many men would come knocking on your father's door asking for your hand.

Some men had been handsome, some had many prospects. And yet, your father turned them all away, wanting, no, needing, only the best. ~A fool~, you thought as you opened your mouth to wince, drinking in your own blood from your harsh bite on your tongue.

He is the reason you were here, presented before the young king in your finest dress.

~~"Your grace, what she lacks in title, she many times over supplements with her beauty, her kindness, and her intell--"

"That dog?" Joffrey started, looking between you and your father with a disgusted look that you had never seen before. "You've come to my castle to bring me a bitch? To what, to fuck, to marry, to kill?"

Your heart sank to your stomach as you listened to his harsh words. "Y-Your grace, it was my daughter's greatest wish to meet you. She can only dream of calling you her husband..." You watched your father take a step back in apprehension. Joffrey said nothing, only raised his eyebrows as if in wait of a punchline. "(Y/n) is the greatest beauty in all of the Seven Kingdoms, and she wishes to be your wife now and alw--"

The Boy King erupted with laughter. He doubled over in his chair, slapping his knee for effect. Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and you glanced at the crowd surrounding you. Some laughed along with the boy king, others hid their face in embarrassment for you and your cause, but most were stoic, waiting for Joffrey's next move.

The King stood finally and pointed his dainty finger at you.

"This bitch is not fit to kiss my boot! You have brought shame on your family, ser, but not nearly enough. You see, I can't simply allow everyone to waste the king's time like this. Your family name is what, I've already forgotten?"

"(L/n) ... Your grace." Your father's voice was low. This had not gone at all how he had been expecting.

"(L/n) ... Well, my good man, I truly believe you will succeed in what you came here to do today. You came to make a name for yourself, and your whore daughter." As Joffrey spoke, you looked at the people around him. His mother, useless. His Head of the Kings Guard, an abuser just like him. And The Hound, his protector from childhood. Not one of them could end this miserable moment. "Today, no one shall forget the name (L/n)."

As he finished speaking you realized he was right in front of you. He reached his hand up and turned your face with it, examining you. You held your breath, nails digging into your palms behind your back.

"Hmm..." He looked you up and down, licking his lips fiendishly. "You are not fit to kiss my boot, but perhaps you could make use of yourself by washing my feet."

Your brow furrowed in confusion and the boy's smile grew. "Someone bring this bitch a sponge and water."

"Your grace, I--"

"Ah, she speaks!" He cried out, looking at his followers for approval. Laughter followed and you saw someone dart off to fetch the items. "I don't like the sound of your voice. If I hear it again, your father will take the blows."

He stalked up the steps to the Iron Throne again with Pride. You stood frozen. "Well, take off my boots." He said lazily.

"Your Grace, I do not wish to offend--" "Then don't, bitch... Your father said it was your greatest wish to be mine, or are you calling your father a liar... Lying to the king is an act of treason, and I don't mind reminding the court of the punishment for such crimes... Is your father a liar?"

"No." You said breathlessly. Tears pricked at your eyes at the thought.

"Then today should be a dream come true for you... You get to touch your beloved king."

You looked back at your father, and out towards the freedom behind him.

"Ser Merryn, pull her father to the side and bring forward my next citizen." Just then the man returned with a sponge and a bucket full of soapy water and forced it into your hands, the water splashing on your gown, making the king laugh.

You struggled internally for a moment before your feet walked forward on their own. The king stared you down as you knelt at his feet, finally resolving to wink at you before his attention was drawn to another subject complaining.

You tuned it all out as best you could and focused on the task at hand.~~

Finally, as you were drying your king's feet, he tutted at you and looked down. "You really are worthless, aren't you? You've missed a spot!" You squinted in confusion as the king brought his right foot closer to your face. Suddenly your face scrunched up tightly in pain as Joffrey kicked you hard in the nose. You fell back on your ass and slid down a couple steps as a result. Joffrey chuckled quickly as you panted and held your nose to stop the bleeding. He made a show of tying up his shoes while the court was silent, before standing and grabbing your bucket. He walked slowly towards you and raised the bucket over your head, then dumping the dirty water on your head. You gasped and choked on your own blood. Tears could flow freely now, as the water would mask it anyways. You stood quickly, not even thinking.

"FUCK YOU!" You screamed. The boy's eyes widened. "Fuck you and your incestuous mother, you pathetic little shit!"

Ser Merryn marched forward at you as you heard your father shout scoldings and apologies. You blocked your face, but he hit you anyway. You stumbled back but did not fall.

"Ser Merryn! I said her father would take the blows!" The boy king retorted. The knight marched back over and whacked your father hard with the hilt of his sword 3 times. You dared not look away from the king.

"Stop!... Ser, you came here today to improve your circumstances... And you, bitch, to find a husband worthy of your beauty. I am nothing if not a generous king, and I understand the needs of my people." He smirked, a fire in his eyes. "So, I will grant you your requests... Your circumstances shall improve, knowing you no longer have a bitch around to mooch off your family. And you," he smiled, biting his bottom lip, "You shall have a worthy husband... And who more worthy for a bitch, than a hound?!?" His voice was deranged, and he raised his arms up, demanding approval from his court. He did not receive it.

"Hound!" He called and you watched his guard dog snap straighter in attention. "Come collect your bitch. You will wed tomorrow."

You watched in terror as the giant marched up to you, his hair hardly hiding the burns marring his face, scowl ever present.

"But--"

"Didn't I tell you that I hated the sound of your voice?! You will hold your tongue, or I will cut out your father's."

The hound grabbed your shoulder roughly and you pressed back against it, trying to push his hand off. He growled and picked you up to throw you over his shoulder. You winced at the change in pressure for your throbbing head but kept your mouth as quiet as possible in fear of further punishment. The hound began walking off, until he snapped back around at the final words you heard from Joffrey. "Don't forget to break her in rough!"

You trembled in the hound's hold. His pace was quick, and your face burned with anger and shame as he paraded you about the halls of The Red Keep, marching you to God knows where. Servants looked at you with fear and sympathy clear in their faces and you let out a small, choked sob.

Suddenly you were dropped down to your feet in front of a great door. The Hound opened it wordlessly and shoved you in. He quickly shut it again before you could say a word, and you heard the lock click into place. You bolted over to the small window and looked down. There was no hope of escaping. You tried to steady your breathing and made note of things around the room but there wasn't much. You walked slowly into the next room, a bathroom, and noticed your reflection in a very broken mirror.

Your sobs racked your body when you studied your face, bloody, dirty, wet, worried. You crumpled down to the floor and rocked yourself back and forth as you cried. That night was spent alone, cowering in fear in the bathroom. The Hound never once walked back in.

In the morning you blinked your eyes open in surprise when a woman entered the bedroom. "Miss (L/n)?" The strange woman called, scanning the room. She rushed over to the window, as if worried you had somehow thrown yourself out of it. You came up behind her, back still flush against the wall, and said "I'm here." She gasped and smiled softly, hand clutching her chest.

"Goodness, you gave me a fright." You winced at her words, remembering your face. You could still feel your heartbeat in your nose, and your right eye's vision was smaller than your left; a result of the backhand you'd earned from Ser Merryn.

"I-I'm here to help you dress for the day, Milady." She sensed your discomfort and matched it with her own.

"I don't need help." You retorted rudely.

"I don't make the rules, I only follow them. Queen Mother Cersei has instructed that the rules for today are to dress you, feed you, and prepare you for your wedding night."

Your heart thudded faster in your chest, and you tried not to let your panic show. "Very Well." No use in fighting. You loosened the ties on the back of your dress and she rushed over behind you. "Let me help." She insisted. You thought of your sister, who you would normally dress with, and wondered if you would ever see her again. You wondered if your father already had, or if he was dead or locked away too. Either way, for certain you knew you were now a prisoner. A forced marriage to a monstrous man awaited you. You bit your lip and breathed quickly through your nose.

"Hey," the woman said, resting a gentle hand on your shoulder and walking around to face you. "It does not have to be so terrible..." She tried to make you feel better. "You are here, in one piece. That is more than can be said for those that came after you... You really pissed the King off yesterday, you know."

"Whatever suffering Joffrey caused after me was his own doing, not mine and I--"

"Milady, calm down. I am not blaming you for anything. No one should. You said what we've all thought one time or another..." She smiled softly at you and your brow twitched. "The King is a monster... But your husband does not have to be."

She continued on as she dressed you, informing you how easily men can be manipulated into softness by their women. "Your beauty and your gentleness are weapons against a dog like him. Even wild dogs enjoy being pet." She winked.

You let out a noise between a laugh and a scoff. "I am to be, in the words of his Highness, broken in rough. By a man people call a mad dog. Whatever beauty I had cannot save me now. My gentleness will be my undoing." You said coldly. The girl shook her head. "Perhaps... Come, there will be breakfast in the garden."

Over breakfast you got to know the servant girl, called Anna, deeper although it took a great effort as she was not used to talking about herself. She even made you smile in spite of yourself. You did not eat of your own accord, only when she would force food into your hand, and say that you would need your strength.

"Do you know how it works?" Anna said after some silence.

"What?"

"Sex? Breaking in?"

Your eyes widened and you looked around the garden for eavesdroppers. She didn't seem amused. You cleared your throat. "My father could be a very crass man. Unfortunately, I have seen the act firsthand, when he was keeping my sister awake one night. Still, he wanted to preserve me as best he could."

"So, you ARE a virgin?" She raised her brows.

"Of course."

She brought her hands up to hold her face, as she looked almost embarrassed or nervous for you. "Well, if you can handle the hound, you should be able to handle anybody."

You reflected on his size and felt the heat return to your face. "I'm terrified..." You confided. "I don't know all the cruel things men can do, and I never wanted to..." Your eyes welled with tears and your hands began to clam up and shake. "Do you think he will kill me?" You choked out.

Anna got on her knees before you and took her handkerchief and dabbed at your face. "Oh, my lady, no, no, he will not kill you. Joffrey has not ordered him to do so, so he will not."

"But he will be rough."

"Yes, I imagine even gentle sex is rough with him... I am so sorry, (y/n). I do not envy your position, but know that I will see you the next morning and help you wash his filth off of you... Just try to close your eyes and imagine yourself somewhere else."

You chuckled sadly and nodded. You took a deep breath and stood as you heard the large clock strike noon. You were to be married in 4 hours. You had to start getting ready. You grabbed Anna's hand tightly and followed her back to the room.

Later, things flowed as expected. There was a girl to do your hair, and one to fit you into a simple wedding dress. You tried with what little makeup they provided to hide how swollen your face was and highlight your eyes. Father always said it was one of your best features. Every girl is meant to feel beautiful on her wedding day, and yet as you walked down the aisle to your husband in a suit of armor and King Joffrey holding back laughter, you felt like a true clown. You said your vows, and your husband grunted out his. It was only then during the ceremony that you learned your husband's true name: Sandor Clegane. And now you were Lady Clegane.

You sat silently beside your husband at the wedding feast. No one came up to congratulate you, and you didn't want them to. This was, after all, a punishment. Eventually you heard the voice of your father pipe up from across the room. He was laughing with some other nobleman you'd never seen. You furrowed your brows in confusion and anger and stood abruptly, causing your husband to glance at you. You paid him no mind and instead walked across the room to find him.

"Ah, (y/n)!" He was loud, drunk. You saw the bruising on his face. "You looked beautiful as always, my darling. A truly happy day!" He said, truly jovial. You scowled at him, wanted to hit him.

"A happy day?" You asked, venom in your voice. "Do you have any idea what you've cursed me to?! Your stupidity, your pride, your--" "That's enough." He grabbed your wrist tightly. "You've cursed yourself, you insolent girl." He whispered angrily in your ear. "If you had only shut up and let me do the talking, maybe you would be home right now. Maybe your sister would not have to carry on your burdens!"

You winced audibly and twisted your arm. Your father grabbed your face and turned you forward to look at your husband, who was already looking at you from across the room, expression truly unreadable. "Your tongue got you into this. Your fiery spirit... I've heard the hound LOVES fire." Truly, your father had never quite been this cruel to you. You must have truly embarrassed him. "You made your bed." He spat in your ear. "Now go and lie in it."

With that you were released and walked quickly back to your seat. Sandor's eyes followed you the entire way, but when you sat down beside him and tried to meet his eyes face-to-face, he turned his head away. You blew a sharp breath out through your nose in humiliation. Your eyes were then directed to his hands, the way he tore apart a leg of chicken, his large meaty fingers relentlessly prying. Your stomach flipped on its own and you tried to chug your wine.

Later that evening, at the king's insistence, Clegane carried you bridal style all the way to your room as his laughter echoed behind you. You tried not to, but you were shaking like a leaf. Even the alcohol could not dull your nerves. He set you down gently inside the room and you walked slowly to the bed. There was a great silence after he closed the door and locked it. You took deep breaths and tried to remember all that Anna had told you to prepare you. He turned around to look at you and leaned back against the heavy wooden door, arms crossed over his chest. Your eyes raked over him. Truly, if he wasn't so terrifying, he might be attractive. You tried to list his positives.

Tall, strong, gruff voice, very likely well-endowed, loyal... Who he was loyal to was another issue entirely, but perhaps like Anna said, you could work him into your favor. His eyes focused on all the different parts of you.

You licked your lips in preparation of your speech, truly the first words you would ever speak to him outside of your wedding vows.

"Would you like to take off my dress?" You asked meekly, reaching for the laces on the back yourself.

His face hardened almost unnoticeably. It was very dark in the room, but you could still make out his expressions--deciphering them was another task entirely beyond you.

"Aye. I would, actually." He spoke lowly. "Let's get this over with." He stepped quickly over to you, and you tried not to flinch. Your face almost collided with his chest plate as his hands made quick work on the dress at your back. A shiver ran down your spine at the closeness and you closed your eyes. Suddenly you felt him ball the fabric at your sides in his fist, he growled and tore the dress open. The sound of it ripping sent a shock wave through you and you gasped, hands coming up instinctively onto his hands to stop him. You looked up at him through your lashes in fear. ~My God, he IS rough.~

Your hands did nothing to stop him as he tore the dress down your sides, leaving you in your underclothes.

"Shut up," he said gruffly. You stood in your sheer garment and your body tensed. He picked you up and threw you onto the bed. You yelped at this and finally felt the familiar prickling in our eyes.

"Please" You begged for nothing.

"Shut up, I said." He stood at the edge of the bed and looked only at your face. "Take that off." He ordered, and you dared not disobey. You pulled the dress off over your head and covered your breasts instinctively with your arms. Sandor Clegane, however, still, made no apparent effort to see your exposed body.

Instead, he took the armor off of his arms and withdrew his sword from its keep at his waist. Your mouth opened in terror.

He's going to kill me. He climbed onto the bed with you and grabbed the underdress you had discarded nearby. Then he surprised you again, taking his sword to his own forearm and cutting the top of it. You gasped as he started to poor blood. Your gentleness took over your confusion and fear and you reached out to him to try to stop the bleeding. He growled at you viciously and you retreated your hands. You watched him from the edge of the bed. He directed his blood flow to the crotch of your dress, and the proceeded to smear it around the bed. Your heart had never beat so fast, and you felt faint.

He tossed your clothes aside and covered his wound, walking to the bathroom to wash it off. Your chest heaved, repeating the scene in your mind.

~That was not sex.~

"W-What the hell was that?" You called out, still frozen on the bed.

"Don't worry, girl. That's the most action you'll be getting from me."

You frowned; confusion only intensified. "B-But why?" You begged.

He walked around the corner, revealing himself again. "You are a virgin, aren't you?" He asked, as though you were dumb. Perhaps you were dumb. "Ah hell, it doesn't matter. You'd bleed from ME even if you were a well-trained whore."

He blew out snot onto the floor and proceeded to take the rest of his armor off in the bathroom. Your heartbeat steadily slowed to a somewhat normal pace.

"They'll be coming in the morning to check the sheets. To see what all I've done to you." He said casually.

"You won't touch me?" Your voice was still thick with apprehension.

The Hound scoffed and sneered. "You think I want to?"

You blushed and covered yourself again as he finally looked you up and down.

"Maybe I ought to..." He surprised you, and a lump formed in your throat. He approached slowly. Now that his armor was removed you could see him in his plain clothes; see and smell the sweat under his arms. The musk that emanated off of a man after a long day. You trembled and closed yourself up as much as you could without cowering. "Come here, girl." He mumbled and grabbed your ankle, pulling it toward him. You shouted weakly and slapped him, though he didn't flinch a bit.

He was on top of you in an instant, legs closed in tight around your hips as he took both of your wrists easily in one of his own. He raised and pinned them up above your head on the bed and you whimpered, his face close to yours. The pace of your heart quickened again as you squirmed beneath him, but you did not yell, did not cry. He looked down at you, grip becoming bruising on your wrists. You moaned in pain, and he scrunched his face up at the sight of you.

"Look at me, bitch!" He demanded, a bit of spit flying from his mouth onto yours.

"I am!" You called back, eyes locked onto his face. He took your throat in his other hand while the rest of his body kept you powerless against him.

"What do you see?!" His voice was bellowing, and his eyes glared down at you. "A monster--"

"My Husband!" You answered, simultaneously. His hard expression broke and his grip on your neck loosened, though truthfully it wasn't tight to begin with. He pulled himself back from you a bit, slowly, and his eyes left yours to drift over the sheets. "I know you don't know me, don't like me. Hurt me if you have to! But you're my husband now, the only man I'll ever have, and I intend to make the best of it..."

His face twisted into a grimace and his hand on your throat tightened again, making it difficult to breathe.

"I'm not your husband, you stupid little girl." He chided. "I'm your damnation! I am your life sentence, but you are not mine. Weak little girls don't last long around here, especially when they don't know when to shut the fuck up!" His words were harsh, but his voice was low, like he didn't want anyone else to hear but you.

Your eyes studied his face as he let you go. He got off of you quickly and sat at the side of the bed. You stayed laying down for a while, silently counting your blessings.

"If you are a monster, why did you hurt yourself instead of me?" You couldn't hold it in any longer. "Monsters don't know sacrifice..."

He side-eyed you, breathing through his mouth like a true brute. You sat up, rubbing your wrists together to soothe them. "You don't want to hurt me."

"You want me to hurt you MORE, is that it? You crazy, stupid, fucking cunt." He shook his head.

"I don't want more pain... But, am I..." You looked down at yourself, then residing to cover yourself with your underdress once again, as bloodied as it was. You were feeling incredibly insecure, something you weren't accustomed to. You turned heads, made men and women and children smile at just the sight of you, and even you yourself thought you were above average all dolled up for the big day. He made you feel ugly without saying a word.

Imagine that. Someone deformed like him and a supposed beauty like you, joined in matrimony. And he will not touch you. Does not want to touch you. In that moment you felt so much smaller than he. You sighed, feeling more comfortable now that you were covered. You looked him in the eyes until he was staring back at you.

"I am sorry that you are punished with me... I realize you also had no choice in this marriage, and well..." You trailed off, not even sure where you were going with this. "You have been kind. And dutiful, and loyal to your king in spite of the monstrous little shit that he is." You tested, seeing if he would hurt you further. Instead, you saw the smallest crack of a smirk pull on his lips. You looked down abashedly. "I will do my best to be a good partner to you, in whatever capacity you need me..."

He said nothing for the longest time, and you looked up at him once again, in curiosity. He was studying your face in the moonlight. "Are you quite fucking finished?" You nodded quickly. "You talk too much." He chided.

You couldn't believe it. You breathed out a laugh and he rolled his eyes. He stood and pulled one of the fur blankets off of the bed.

"Maybe try sleeping in the bed tonight instead of the room I shit in."

You blushed and furrowed your brows at him as he crouched down on the floor, smoothing out the blanket as if it were bedding. Your mouth gaped as he laid down on the floor, closing his eyes.

"Ser, this is--" "My Lord. It's my lord, when people hear you talking to me, that's what you say. I'm not a ser and I never will be. I ain't no fucking knight..." He paused licking his lips. "But now I'm your husband. To Joffrey and everyone else in the Red Keep, that's what I am. In this room, with me, you can speak freely. Call me what I am. A dog." You leaned over the bed, studying him as he spoke with his eyes closed. He looked so vulnerable down there. "Just don't go on and on." He chided again.

"Get some sleep. I won't touch ya."

You wanted to speak, but did not know what to say. He rolled over anyways, his back towards you. Finally, you resolved to lie on your back. You closed your eyes and truly believed he would not touch you. You had no fear of it throughout the night.

The strangest thing, however, was your desire for it. Your dreams that night twisted reality.

~ You were back in that bed, Sandor on top of you, barking down in his usual dog way. Wrists in his grasp, breathing controlled by his pressure on your throat. Your mind, however, changed his form to sink his mouth down onto yours. He swallowed your moans with his kisses and his hand went from your throat to your pert breasts. He squeezed and groaned into your mouth. Finally, he released your hands, and they went straight to his hair, pressing his kiss even harder into yours. "Call me husband again!" He growled when he pulled away, string of saliva connecting you. ~

"Lady Clegane, are you hurt badly?" Anna's voice woke you and you sat up quickly in bed. You watched her rush over to your bedside, and you nearly warned her to avoid stepping on Sandor, but you quickly realized his blanket was back on the bed and he was nowhere to be found.

"Hmm, what?" You asked, still confused.

"You were whimpering in your sleep!" Anna explained, looking over you. She gasped lightly at the sight of your neck. "Oh my lady, I am so sorry." She grabbed your hands and slowly led you to the bathroom, where you saw a tub steaming. "It's always the worst the first time, remember. But boy, he really did a number on you." She lifted the dress up over your head slowly, leaving you naked. "I'll launder these with the sheets, My Lady."

You watched her carry your bloody dress away and found yourself in the broken mirror again. You saw the bruising around your neck and almost felt a thrill. To everyone else, your husband had set up quite the convincing show, and yet he kept your dignity intact. As you slipped into the bath and Anna droned on about the day, trying to distract you, you wondered if Sandor Clegane would ever touch you in the true ways husbands touch their wives. You wondered deeper, why you suddenly wanted him to.

#sandor clegane #game of thrones #the hound x reader #the hound smut #sandor clegane x reader #sandor clegane smut #sandor clegane fanfic #game of thrones fanfiction #rory mccann #short story

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st-brainrot · 4 months ago

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/Overanalysed, geeky ass geeking about ST0 lore ahead

CW for violence, cannibalism, drugs, mentions of child trafficking, and spoilers

I don't see anybody talking about the secrets and the more obscure parts of the story besides the most obvious ones so I decided to do it myself. (I'm not gonna show any screenshots though, got too lazy, sorry lol).

But one thing I want to talk about in particular, is the type of experiments the main 4 went through. So here's the thing. In the original ST game(s), it's basically an infection AU. We all know that, but in ST0, I don't think that's the case?? I think what actually happened was that the custards were spiked by some kind of drug (that's hopefully NOT contagious) , so here's why I believe that:

-If you look closely on TW's model, his eyes aren't actually black, there're just extremely dialated and blood shot.

-He's also trembling, which is another sign that he's going through some kind of high.

-Abnormal change in behavior, there's been plenty of stories of people becoming violent as a result of a high or withdrawal.

A thing that kind of confirms my theory is a secret code you can find at the computer in the hideout, where it displays everyone's profiles, and a thing each profile had in common is that the main 4 were meant to take some kind of vaccine called "pneumorix", which is described as obsolete. I actually tried googling that up, and the closest thing I found was a completely different word similar to it, and apparently it's a vaccine that's designed to make you immune to respitory sickness like pneumonia??

So whatever is up with this drug, i don't know if it's fictional or not, but whatever is up with it, whoever consumes it will not only make you become hyperactive with cannibalistic tendencies, it also makes you hallucinate. The basement section pretty much confirms this, White states there's some kind of stench coming from the machines, which could be the drug itself, some random hallucinogenic gas, or both. Causing Ron (and probably White aswell) to see things that aren't there, but it was until Ron ingested the custard he started to fully suffer the effects.

As to why COAT thought of conducting these experiments in the first place, that I still don't know, probably because they could + ther'e evil, and I guess Ron and White aren't intentionally bad people(?), they just somehow got tangled up in this ordeal.

So, moral of the story- Don't drug kids in the name of science.

Sorry this got too long I genuinely don't know how to do the under the cut thing, and sorry I didn't provide any screensshots, but if you like the game I seriously recommend checking out these small details yourself, you'll find some really interesting stuff.

#slendytubbies #slendytubbies 0 #ask to tag #[op speaks]#Do lmk if I missed anything cuz I've kind of forgot the meaning behind some scenes

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she-is-ovarit · 1 year ago

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By EDITH M. LEDERER Updated 9:11 PM PST, March 8, 2024 UNITED NATIONS (AP) — Legal equality for women could take centuries as the fight for gender equality is becoming an uphill struggle against widespread discrimination and gross human human rights abuses, the United Nations chief said on International Women’s Day. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres told a packed U.N. commemoration Friday that “a global backlash against women’s rights is threatening, and in some cases reversing, progress in developing and developed countries alike.” The most egregious example is in Afghanistan, he said, where the ruling Taliban have barred girls from education beyond sixth grade, from employment outside the home, and from most public spaces, including parks and hair salons. At the current rate of change, legal equality for women could take 300 years to achieve and so could ending child marriage, he said. Guterres pointed to “a persistent epidemic of gender-based violence,” a gender pay gap of at least 20%, and the underrepresentation of women in politics. He cited September’s annual gathering of world leaders at the U.N. General Assembly, where just 12% of the speakers were women. “And the global crises we face are hitting women and girls hardest — from poverty and hunger to climate disasters, war and terror,” the secretary-general said. In the past year, Guterres said, there have been testimonies of rape and trafficking in Sudan, and in Gaza women women and children account for a majority of the more than 30,000 Palestinians reported killed in the Israeli-Hamas conflict, according to the Gaza Ministry of Health. He cited a report Monday by the U.N. envoy focusing on sexual violence in conflict that concluded there are “reasonable grounds” to believe Hamas committed rape, “sexualized torture” and other cruel and inhumane treatment of women during its surprise attack in southern Israel on Oct. 7. He also pointed to reports of sexual violence against Palestinians detained by Israel. International Women’s Day grew out of labor movements in North America and across Europe at the turn of the 20th century and was officially recognized by the United Nations in 1977. This year’s theme is investing in women and girls to accelerate progress toward equality. Roza Otunbayeva, the head of the U.N. political mission in Afghanistan, told the Security Council on Wednesday that what is happening in that country “is precisely the opposite” of investing in women and girls. There is “a deliberate disinvestment that is both harsh and unsustainable,” she said, saying the Taliban’s crackdown on women and girls has caused “immense harm to mental and physical health, and livelihoods.” Recent detentions of women and girls for alleged violations of the Islamic dress code “were a further violation of human rights, and carry enormous stigma for women and girls,” she said. It has had “a chilling effect among the wider female population, many of whom are now afraid to move in public,” she said. Otunbayeva again called on the Taliban to reverse the restrictions, warning that the longer they remain, “the more damage will be done.” Sima Bahous, the head of UN Women, the agency promoting gender equality and women’s rights, told the commemoration that International Women’s Day “sees a world hobbled by confrontation, fragmentation, fear and most of all inequality.” “Poverty has a female face,” she said. “One in every 10 women in the world lives in extreme poverty.” Men not only dominate the halls of power but they “own $105 trillion more wealth than women,” she said. Bahous said well-resourced and powerful opponents of gender equality are pushing back against progress. The opposition is being fueled by anti-gender movements, foes of democracy, restricted civic space and “a breakdown of trust between people and state, and regressive policies and legislation,” she said. [Click on the link to continue reading]

#women's rights #femicide #taliban #women's oppression #international women's day #global feminism #feminism

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kiyans-corner · 1 year ago

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"the lazarus pit caused his bullshit" "no he was just a completely unhinged psychopath" guys.

GUYS.

every single one of you is ignoring the part where he was kept in a literal cult for anywhere from what, one to three-ish years? do you know how cults work. do you know how they slowly, carefully change your thought patterns to suck you in, even when you know good and damned well it's a cult? do you know what kind of targets they select, the kind of people they prey on? (hint! isolated teens are pretty common prey! especially if they're injured, salty af at the world, and feel like they owe the cult member/s something. like their mind back after being cared for while in that condition, for example)

do you know how much they MINDFUCK YOU ON PURPOSE. hard enough to make dozens to hundreds of people commit mass suicide. hard enough to get VOLUNTARY sex slaves and trafficking victims. hard enough to completely normalize prepubescent kids being married to grown ass adults 30 and up. hard enough that intentionally recruited cult members will recruit people without even realizing that's what's happening. literally after a while all the leader/s have to do is ProfitTM

the league has normalized everything from carefully calculated murder to literal child assassins (to the degree of CASS ffs) to worldwide political meddling (mostly via murder!) to everyone just. being completely chill about this old-ass immortal fuck having/keeping a whole ass grandson for the SOLE PURPOSE of bodyjacking him and then having consistent beef with a literal teenager

do... do any of you know how cult deprogramming works. do you know how long it takes WITH extensive help and support, even with the least fucked up ones that just give you a new spin on a religion and lifestyle so the leader/s can jack your money.

are we really just going to keep ignoring all of this instead of utilizing the more reasonable reasoning (applies with or without long-term pit effects!) to it's full potential

I know they'll never touch it in canon bc DC is lame about actually addressing any sort of interesting new applications of anything for a lot of the more jacked up shit that would provide fun story lines and actual resolution in favor of just never mentioning it again upon pain of death, but not ever having seen this take even once in a discussion or fic makes me sad :(

#batman #batfam #jason todd #red hood

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bbcphile · 1 year ago

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Mysterious Lotus Casebook and Complex PTSD Representations: Part I

One of my favorite things about Mysterious Lotus Casebook is how surprisingly nuanced and unusual its portrayal of complex PTSD is. So many shows either introduce character trauma to make the character Sad and Brooding, Angry and Violent (if they’re a villain) or Hesitant to Start a Relationship (if it’s a romance), and that’s usually as in-depth as it gets. If they address the unique after effects of child abuse that lead to complex PTSD at all, it’s usually either explain why a character is a homicidal monster (which is all sorts of problematic) or it’s limited to a single phobia, which can be overcome by the Power of Love, or it’s just something that crops up occasionally for Plot and then forgotten about the rest of the time.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook gives us two deeply traumatized characters–Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng–who each have clear symptoms of complex PTSD, and yet, their cPTSD manifests completely differently because of the types of traumas that caused it and their relationships to the people causing the traumas. And their manifestations of cPTSD affect just about every level of their being, including their sense of self, their decision-making, and their relationships with others, and it includes some of the incredibly important manifestations of cPTSD that are almost never shown in media while avoiding the most insulting stereotypes!

PTSD vs cPTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder caused by experiencing a single (or short lived) traumatic event (an accident, assault, medical emergency, fighting in a war, etc), where the symptoms last for longer than a month. Symptoms include things like reexperiencing the event (flashbacks), avoidance (of things related to the event), changes in mood (depression, anger, fear, etc), and issues with emotional regulation (hypervigilance–being constantly on the lookout for threats–irritability/angry outbursts, etc.).

Complex PTSD happens if someone has experienced long term, chronic/repeated trauma that induces hopelessness and no chance of escape (survivors of extended child abuse, human trafficking, domestic violence, prisoners of war, slavery, etc.). It’s also often interpersonal in ways a car crash or medical emergency is not, and is particularly linked with chronic trauma during childhood: chronic stress hormones introduce literal physical changes in a growing brain, particularly the amygdala (which processes fear), hippocampus (which is responsible for learning/memory), and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for executive function), so it can affect every aspect of life and also affect a child’s progression through developmental stages. In addition to these physical changes to the brain, the prolonged trauma–particularly the helplessness–distorts a child’s sense of self, the perpetrator, and the world in ways that alter their decision making, their memory, and their future relationships.

For instance, whereas a traumatic event that caused PTSD might make you depressed or not trust the person who harmed you (or to fear driving), the trauma from cPTSD might make you suicidal, blame yourself for your victimization, decide to isolate to avoid interpersonal relationships to keep from getting hurt, or become obsessed with never being harmed again.

Basically, cPTSD has the core symptoms from PTSD with some extra challenges, including issues with emotional regulation, self-concept, interruptions in consciousness, difficulties with relationships, perceptions of the perpetrator, and systems of meaning.

DFS and LLH: CPTSD Symptoms

There’s so much more to say about this than I can cover in this superficial introduction, so this will be the first of a series of metas; I’m hoping to go into more depth about some of these categories in future posts (the DFS and emotional regulation/violence one is already drafted, so stay tuned).

Difficulties with Relationships (problems with trust, communication, missing red flags): Both DFS and LLH have a history of trusting the wrong people and not trusting the right people, both in the past and in the present of the show: in the past, LLH missed the fact that SGD hated him and DFS missed the fact that JLQ was obsessed with him, and as a result, both sects were destroyed, many people died, and the two almost destroyed each other. If they had communicated with each other instead of fighting at the donghai battle, they might have realized they were being set up and could have worked together, but their difficulties with trust after perceived betrayal made that impossible for them. They both have a history of overlooking red flags in the present–DFS in particular, keeping the red-flag-personified-JLQ around despite her history of poisoning people, including himself–and they both tend to struggle with relationships in the present: LLH runs away from and/or drugs the people who care about him, and DFS sends endless mixed messages by not telling Li Lianhua most of his plans to help him.

Self-Concept (Self-hatred and self-fragmentation): Li Lianhua is basically the poster child for having a negative self concept: he has an overdeveloped sense of self-blame and responsibility, even believing he deserves to die for leading his men to their deaths, and once he learns he was manipulated and SGD was behind it all, he seems to think it’s his own fault that he was manipulated, lied to, and abused. His self-loathing is so extreme that he imagines his earlier self, Li Xiangyi, to have died, and tries as much as possible to be nothing like that earlier persona. His repeated insistence that Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are NOT the same person is reminiscent of the fragmentary sense of self that comes with more extreme trauma, like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other-Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), where traumatic experiences are so painful that people form different alters, or differentiated self-states, that can have different names and skills and memories and identities.

Di Feisheng doesn’t have the self-hatred or guilt that LLH does, and it seems like he tries to skip over questions of self worth, blame, or hatred by focusing exclusively on staying true to his code of ethics he’s developed for himself and focusing on gaining the strength necessary to fight for his freedom from mind control and the Di Fortress. But even though he’s kept his Di name, kept his goals the same since escaping Di Fortress, and hasn’t tried to separate himself from his trauma the way LLH did with LXY, he’s even more willing than LLH to take on different identities: it’s literally one of his martial arts skills. The Bone Constriction Skill lets him become someone else for a time, whether that’s a child or Shi Hun. It fits well with his willingness to be whoever he needs to be to accomplish his goals: he’s perfectly willing to be seen as a heartless villain if it lets him protect LLH, and he’s willing to flirt with and pretend to be jealous of JLQ to get information from her, and he’s willing to be LLH’s a-Fei, both with and without his memories.

Interruptions in Consciousness (Amnesia and nightmares for Everyone): LLH and DFS both have nightmares and flashbacks/memories of traumatic events, and as mentioned above, both have interesting hints of having fragmented/fluid senses of self. They both also dissociate, or separate themselves from the present when dealing with traumatic things: LLH spaces out and gets stuck in his past memories about SGD when talking to FDB after burying SGD, and DFS dissociates from physical pain so as not to make noise both after he’s been stabbed and poisoned with Wuxin Huai and again when JLQ is torturing him in her water dungeon.

They both also have dissociative amnesia that takes away trauma memories, although one is from a poisonous incense plus the magic of qi macgyvering: LLH forgot the existence of his older brother who died in front of him, and DFS as a-Fei had just about all of his memories (except a few of killing as a child) taken away. Amnesia is a huge part of cPTSD, because it’s the brain’s way of trying to protect you from truths that you might not survive. It can manifest as blocking out one single traumatic event, a bunch of thematically or temporally linked traumatic events, a skill set related to the trauma, or, in the case of something like DID or OSDD, just about everything. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that the show gives us one example of definite traumatic amnesia through LLH, and then seems to almost transform the experience of having DID and being a new part and finding yourself with a new name and very little else into an exaggerated fantasy setting (interestingly, people often report experiencing debilitating headaches when they try to regain memories behind the amnesia barrier). I doubt this is what they were actually going for, since DID is almost universally portrayed incorrectly and offensively in media (one of the alters is almost always portrayed as a serial killer, but that’s a rant for another day), but the different names and the presence of amnesia with LLH made it a fascinating enough parallel that I had to mention it.

Problems with Emotional Regulation (Lashing in vs. lashing out): Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are polar opposites when it comes to struggles with emotional regulation: whereas LXY turns his anger inward, directing it all toward self-hate in what’s often called a “toxic shame spiral,” both after the donghai battle and after he finds out about SGD’s role in his shifu’s death, DFS lashes out physically at those who have harmed him, usually via choking people, although he is usually exerting an impressive amount of control over his emotions and strength. To put in perspective just how different their emotional strategies are and how much effort DFS puts into emotional regulation, compare how much more calm he is than LLH during any revelation of past betrayal or painful information, any scene where they confront the people who have abused them, or any scene where they learn they’ve been wrong about something big; LLH is most likely having an emotional flashback (re-experiencing the emotions from the earlier traumas) and DFS is probably compartmentalizing them or dissociating from them to process later/never so he can stay semi-functional and not show a potential opponent a weak spot.

NOTE: This means that DFS is loooong overdue for a very dramatic breakdown when it eventually all catches up to him and he can’t distract himself from it anymore.

Perceptions of Perpetrators: In this way only, Di Feisheng has one advantage: he knows the head of Di Fortress is a cruel, abusive tyrant. While he clearly still fears him, even as a physically strong adult (he has nightmares, flashbacks, and dedicates his life to being free from him, which means he still to some extent feels young, small, and helpless when he thinks of him), DFS knows that he hates him and wants to be free of him. This is probably part of why he’s spared some of the self-hatred LLH experiences: he knows he didn’t deserve the abuse because seeing it happen to other children means he knows the abuse wasn’t a personal reflection on him. It does, however, motivate him to want to be stronger and invulnerable so as to never be helpless again, and that obsession is what drives him to have a single-minded focus on reaching the pinnacle of the jianghu.

It’s so much more complicated for Li Lianhua (and for a more detailed analysis, check out this meta): the childhood perpetrators were manifold–a slew of bandits, whichever children and adults on the street would abuse him for existing and being poor–it probably felt like life itself was to blame. It’s no wonder that when his shifu and shiniang took him in, they were the ultimate rescuers whom he hero-worshipped, so when he felt he made a mistake and his life fell apart, he blamed himself: at least there would be someone to blame that way and something he could do about it (try to kill his past self and hate everything about him). It’s also very telling that LLH doesn’t blame JLQ or YBQ all that much when he learns they poisoned him, and that he’s more angry that SGD murdered their shifu than he is that SGD set him up, hated him, and was the real mastermind behind everything he had blamed himself for; he struggles to stay angry at people who harm him, and would rather blame and hate himself for being tricked than hate the person who tricked him. So, whereas DFS tries to destroy the people who abused him, LLH tries to destroy himself.

If you read this far, thanks! I’m probably going to be posting the DFS and emotional regulation/violence against perpetrator meta next, because it’s drafted, but if there are any of these you desperately want me to talk about more sooner rather than later, let me know! :D

#mysterious lotus casebook #mlc meta #di feisheng #li lianhua #Li Xiangyi #complex PTSD #child abuse #sorry it's so long! This is the short version #The original version was 2700 words #dissociation #trauma #I am so here for non-monolithic representations of mental illnesses #PTSD #In case you can't tell I am very invested in depictions of PTSD and cPTSD #I'm always up for talking about fictional portrayals of trauma #so feel free to message if you have questions about any of this and don't want it to be in the notes for some reason

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darkmaga-returns · 4 months ago

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By Jim Davis

All four of the biggest scandals in U.S. history have happened in just the past few years:

(a) the cover-up of Joe Biden’s decline;

(b) lawfare against Trump;

(d) billions wasted, by not just the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), but also by many other agencies, and being uncovered by Elon Musk’s DOGE.

In this writer’s opinion, it’s all a series of causes and desired effects. The Democrat party Deep State (DPDS) loathe Trump. They used every trick in their trick bag, from “Russia collusion” to lawfare to assassination attempts, to beat him and present Hillary, then Biden, then Kamala as a superior candidate. The scams are the “why.”

The worst example is the vanishing migrant children. Some of the NGOs getting contracts from Team Biden to house unaccompanied minors (now known as “child-trafficking victims”) were getting multi-billion-dollar contracts. Over 300,000 of those children have simply vanished.

Anyone who made them vanish was, almost certainly, also paying the NGOs. That’s the scam. The NGOs were paid for taking the “raw materials” off Team Biden’s hands, and then they got paid again for the “finished product.”

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neversetyoufree · 6 months ago

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Bro... what if noe was never actually injured when he got scooped up by the teacher...

Like what if the traffickers tied up one of his eyes so he had little to no chance of manipulating the formula to escape or worst 😭

Like we know the weight eyes have on vampires, as seen by the churchs methods and ruthvens whole shtick; the traffickers could have harmed him to hamdicap him somewhat, but given he 1) hasnt lost his eye, and 2) the traffickers likely knew his value, its highly unlikely they would permanently disfigure/harm him

Interesting thought!

My one counterpoint to the theory of him not being injured at all is that we do see Noé keep the bandages on for a while after he first starts staying at Teacher's, and I can't think of a reason why Teacher wouldn't have removed them pretty quickly if Noé weren't hurt.

The panel with Domi and Louis is from pretty soon after Teacher brings Noé home, but the other scene shows Noé in a different outfit, and Teacher is back from wherever he disappeared to after dropping Noé off, so I think it must be set at least a day or two later. That's plenty of time for Noé to take off the bandages, so why not do so if he isn't hurt?

However, you do raise a really good point about how removing the use of one eye is an effective way to disable a vampire, since it interferes with their ability to manipulate the world formula. Not wanting to "damage the merchandise" aside, if the traffickers weren't otherwise prepared to wrangle a vampire child, temporarily injuring one of Noé's eyes could have been a pretty effective way to make sure he didn't make too much trouble while in their custody.

Based on present day Noé's seemingly functional eyesight, we know that, like you said, whatever happened to him probably didn't cause significant permanent damage. That wouldn't have been wise on the kidnappers' part, and even if Noé never talked about it, I feel like we would have seen evidence by now if he had damaged vision in one eye. But a temporary injury that the traffickers knew he'd heal from eventually? It's cruel, but it's not a bad idea.

#I'd been passively assuming that his injury had to have come from some kind of Incident #the thought of them injuring him on purpose for a handicap is. god #practical but upsetting. thanks for putting that idea in my head 👍#vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #ask #anon #theory #noé archiviste #noé archiviste my beloved #ID in alt text #others' meta #now I'm getting curious to dig back through and double check that there's no evidence of him having problems with his left eye #I'm pretty certain there isn't. but I've missed things before

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kirain · 2 years ago

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Saw your comment on a post about Sound of Freedom and I came here to say.....shame on you. Shame. On. You. Since when is child trafficking a political issue? Since when is calling pedophilia bad a political issue? If you have a problem with this movie then maybe YOU'RE the problem. No better than the big Disney fat cats who tried to suppress this movie and keep it shelved. Or theaters messing with the ac and saying seats are sold out when they're empty. Shame on you! God's children are not for sale!

I wish people would do a little more research on this topic. If Hollywood and the "powers that be" didn't want this movie being seen, it wouldn't have been released in over 3000 theatres countrywide. It's being shown in major and minor locations all across America and Canada, and the vast majority of those locations aren't having any problems.

Case and point, my own mother and her friend went to see it last week and everything was fine. No issues whatsoever and the seats were packed. The movie isn't being "suppressed". This is all a marketing gimmick from the production company Angel Studios, a Christian streaming service. The movie is jam-packed with lies and only serves to glorify Tim Ballard, the man the movie is based on, and Christianity as a whole. I truly wish this wasn't political, but it is. They made it political.

Tim Ballard has provably exaggerated or fabricated many, if not most of his "rescues", and his organisation, Operation Underground Railroad, has been widely criticised by professional anti-sex trafficking organizations (including other Christian-based ones) for years. He has accumulated millions of dollars for his so-called "non-profit" organisation, and he runs several for profit organisations on the side. Most of this money is presumably pocketed by Ballard and his cohorts, as millions is unaccounted for and only a sliver goes to OUR. It's not about "saving children", it's about money and spreading Ballard's religious ideology.

This is compounded by the fact that Ballard, before he left the CIA, was almost always the last officer to arrive on any scene where child sex trafficking was involved, yet he somehow has hundreds of stories where he's singlehandedly rescued children. In fact, the "true story" the film is based on, where Ballard apparently saved a five year old boy—who, by Ballard's own account, ran up to him, hugged him, and begged to be taken away—didn't even happen. According to court receipts from the arrest and trial of Earl Venton Buchanan (the pedophile in possession of the little boy), Ballard arrived at the scene long after the boy was rescued and taken into custody, and he was barely involved. The documents can easily be found online under the San Diego incident reports.

Ballard was also caught lying about saving one particular girl named Liliana, the literal poster child for OUR. As it turns out, Liliana rescued herself by escaping her captors when she was seventeen and being trafficked in New York. Even more egregious, every time Ballard told her story, he would lower her age to garner more sympathy ... as if her being seventeen wasn't sad enough. In one instance, he claimed she was 14. In another, he claimed she was 11. Ballard also exploited Liliana's story as a reason for needing stricter border patrols and a better wall, despite the fact that she was being abused in America. There is no evidence to suggest OUR had anything to do with her rescue.

Ballard and his "organisation" have even ruined entire legitimate rescue operations in other countries and put children at risk, like in the Dominican Republic, where he endangered the lives of 26 girls by playing vigilante, being followed around by a camera crew, and causing a shootout that effectively traumatised the children he used as a prop to lure in buyers. His response to the mishap and rightful criticism by the Dominican police was basically, "Well ... you win some, you lose some."

The children were released without receiving any therapy or rehabilitative care, and Anne Gallagher, the leading global expert on the international law on human trafficking, said that OUR has an "alarming lack of understanding about how sophisticated criminal trafficking networks must be approached and dismantled" and went on to call the work of OUR "arrogant, unethical, and illegal". Those children easily could've been shot and killed. This occurred in 2014, but Ballard still insists that his "rescues" be filmed, and he even pitched it as a reality TV show. His reasoning for this, he says, is to "spread awareness", but we all know it's because he loves the spotlight.

Entire law enforcement agencies have actually cut ties with or even condemned OUR, such as Washington State Law Enforcement, as a result of Ballard's proclivity to conflate child sex trafficking with consensual adult sex work. Ballard and OUR regularly set up sting operations and lambasted the men who showed up for kink play, publicly branding them as pedophiles, even though the men in question were under the impression that they were meeting for sex with consenting, adult women. This led to several lawsuits against OUR, all of which they rightfully lost.

Ballard's means of gathering intelligence is also questionable, as he, by his own admission, sometimes consults psychic mediums for information on missing children and asks where they're being held captive. I genuinely wish I was joking about that.

The main actor in Sound of Freedom, Jim Caviezel, also has ties to the Qanon movement, and Caviezel himself is a hardcore conspiracy theorist. He believes that Donald Trump is "the new Moses" and that "liberals [literally] drink the blood of children". This is ironic, considering Caviezel and Ballard both met Trump several times, yet never pressed him for information regarding Epstein's client list. Moreover, Caviezel and Ballard both donate to the Catholic Church, which funds the largest child sex trafficking ring on the southern border and has a history of rampant sexual abuse of children. Even more insane, Caviezel admitted to watching child porn, to apparently "get in character" for the movie. He claimed that if Ballard had to watch it, it only "made sense" that he'd have to watch it, too. To "motivate" him to fight child trafficking.

...Alright, bud.

Surprise, surprise, both men are also outspokenly anti-LGBTQ+, despite the fact that children/teens in that community are statistically more likely to be trafficked. The majority of child trafficking is not the result of random kidnappings, as the movie would have you believe. The majority of children are actually recruited into sexual exploitation by a family member or friend/boss. The majority of those children are also not generally passed around in Mexico, like this racist, white savior-oriented movie would have you believe, but they actually either stay in or end up in America. America is, in fact, the largest consumer of child porn and child sex slaves this side of the globe (and nearly the largest producer), yet the movie depicts almost every pedophile as Mexican or some other non-white race.

At the end of the movie, Ballard comes on screen and asks people to donate/buy tickets for others, so that the movie can spread awareness. This is why so many seats in certain theatres are empty, despite websites saying the seats are sold out. Whether or not Angel Studios is also shadow purchasing tickets to boost sales can't be proven, obviously, but I wouldn't put it past them. These "conspiracies" have all served to market the movie and boost ticket sales.

As for Disney trying to keep the movie shelved, that's also a lie. Yes, Disney did technically shelve the movie when they bought Fox, since it didn't exactly correspond with its family-friendly brand, but they had no problem with the movie being released under a different studio. The actual reason Sound of Freedom was in "production hell" for five years was because Tim Ballard kept trying to milk donations. Despite the fact that filming wrapped up in 2018, he kept asking for more and more and more. He used people's faith and understandably emotional response to something as wicked as pedophilia to rake in millions. That's what Ballard is really about, money and stardom. In the movie, there's even a post-credit message where Jim Caviezel says the movie was held back to "maximize its distribution and raise awareness about child sex trafficking".

Translation: Ballard greedy.

Ballard himself admitted the accuracy of this movie "isn't important", and that he just wanted to get the movie out to "spread the word". By that, he of course means the Christian word—but why should fighting child sex trafficking be tied to religion? At the end of the day, Sound of Freedom is a vanity project, and it spreads incredibly dangerous misinformation. Stranger still, Ballard left the OUR just prior to the debut of Sound of Freedom, a fact he's neglected to mention in every interview regarding the movie. It's not clear why he left, but it seems that he fled after an internal investigation into the organisation began. That's not too suspicious or anything. My guess is authorities are trying to find out were all that missing money went, and Ballard doesn't want to be there when they figure it out.

By the way, that final line you hit me with; "God's children are not for sale", the line from the movie that Ballard claims a fellow agent whispered to him while on a case, as well as the title of the movie, which another agent supposedly said to Ballard after a giant rescue operation—those were lies, too. No agents ever said that to him. The police reports for those cases, as well as the agents Ballard supposedly quoted, all said he was the last to arrive on the scene and those conversations never happened.

Ballard cannot be trusted and Sound of Freedom is based on a lie. It's a scam. Everything he does is a scam. All he cares about is spreading his ideology, making money, and looking like a superhero. And this is only the tip of the iceberg. Look into his other companies, and into the ex-military soldiers and police officers who left OUR because of how poorly trained their people are when it comes to rescue operations.

Every sane person knows pedophilia and human trafficking is wrong, but giving your money to Qanon-adjacent, right-wing leaning, LGBTQ+-hating, Catholic Church-sympathising, fame-chasing, money-hungry, perpetual liar Tim Ballard isn't going to help.

The best way to help out is learning about the signs of child trafficking. Keep an eye out for any children that might be getting abused. If you suspect something, report it, don't be a silent bystander. Volunteer within your community to make sure the children in your area have food and resources, support LGBTQ+ youth, and watch the other adults around you to ensure they're not acting inappropriately. You can also donate to social programs that create safe spaces for children and even apply for jobs that specialise in these fields. Don't go to see a movie just because it aligns with your religious beliefs, feel sad for a little while, then sit on your ass and let Tim Ballard handle everything.

#sound of freedom #tim ballard #jim caviezel #christianity #child trafficking #propaganda #angel studios #I can't believe you made me defend Disney

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wordy-little-witch · 1 year ago

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Okay I have been Inspired

And by u soured, I mean I have an idea for a fic I don't have the energy to write so i will instead drop tidbits and outlines.

Omegaverse AU, set after Wano.

Trigger warning for non consensual drug use, alluded non-con attempts that go BADLY for the perpetrators, and Crocodile being a jerk.

• Cross Guild is given an opportunity among the criminal organizations, so Crocodile pushes for them to go. Mihawk maybe remains as protection for the island, so it's just Croc and Buggy. The meeting is a gala-type thingy so it's all formal but there's a secondary aspect to it that Buggy is unaware of.

The group they're meeting with is loosely associated with the group throwing the gala. There are numerous organizations in attendance and they're trying to set up connections. The hosts however have a secondary function in their group - slaving and trafficking.

Buggy does not know this.

The food and drink are spiked with microdoses of omegan pheromones - they often make Alphas mildly high, improve mood and enhance general demeanors. In Betas, it's a soothing, calming effect, improves mood and focus. Nothing bad! It's, if anything, simply a light buzz.

In Omegas, however, it can have... odd reactions.

Buggy is an Omega. Nobody else knows Buggy is an Omega.

• about midway through the party, he starts feeling... off. Uncomfortable. He at first chalks it up to his anxiety. Then it gets worse. His head feels clouded. He's itchy. He's overheating. He's... he's got to get the hell out of here. He goes to Crocodile.

Croc blows him off, makes a snide remark on being "unable to handle the O". It takes a few precious seconds for Buggy to process and figure out that 'the O' is, in fact, that O.

Shit. Shit.

Buggy tries to subtly tell Croc that the need to leave, like, right now, but again Crocodile blows him off, tells him to leave himself if he's so adamant.

Buggy huffs and goes.

O, as the drug is often called, causes different reactions in Omegas. For some, it induces Heat. For others, it's like an upper, for others, it's a downer. For even more still, it can induce rage or catatonia.

Buggy is among the unlucky few who get triggered into a heat.

So he is leaving a gala full of Alphas and Betas, all some type of high, going into Heat on an unfamiliar island and alone.

What so few seem to recall though is that he was a child of Gol D. Roger. He was a pirate when most others were still clinging fast to their mother's skirts. Some children learned trade, learned their letters and writing. He learned freedom, he learned survival at the knee of the man crowned king.

Many try their hand with him. None succeed.

• as the fates would have it, a certain pirate crew has docked at this very island, for once not causing a ruckus - not yet at the very least.

Robin and Luffy are together, wandering the darkened streets as they indulge in some silliness, Robin telling Luffy stories, Luffy offering subtly insightful and vividly bold commentary. They are enjoying themselves immensely.

Then they both pause.

The scent of distress is subtle, but a mere undercurrent to the glass-like sensation of the Haki around them. Luffy tilts his head, eyes squinted. The sensation is familiar, he notes, but he can't place it. The follow the feelings.

They find a bloodied clown at the end of the trail. Buggy meets the newcomers with a low growl, but even still slinks back a half step. Luffy gapes. Robin tenses at the scent on the other, at the size of his pupils.

"He's in heat," the captain blinks, head tilting, a frown on his face. "But he's so scared..."

"He seems to be drugged," Robin offers quietly, taking a half step back and tilting her head with a soft smile.

Buggy seems taken aback by the movement, by an Alpha showing her neck. It's that which makes him shake his head, makes him try to focus, to orient himself.

"... strawhat?"

"Hi, Buggy! Where's your crew, do you know?"

The clown sighs shakily. "I... not here. They're... they're home."

Luffy nods easily, carefully stepping forward hands up. He let his own head tilt slightly, not ad much as Robin but still more than expected. A smile laid firmly on his face. "Okay. Is there somewhere safe you need to go?"

The bluehaired pirate opened his mouth and then paused. He paled slightly. Shook his head. "I... don't know."

"That's okay! You can stay on my ship for a while, no biggie. Chopper can make sure you're healthy, and Franky made a captain's quarters but I never use it so it's kinda an extra heat room if you want space."

"As if I'd go to an enemy ship like this!"

"We're not enemies, though?"

Buggy blinked. "What."

Luffy blinked. "You're Shanks' brother. He said so when I was little, I just never knew it was you. So yeah, we're not enemies! We're friends, and you're family, too."

Buggy's breath hitched as the young man before him was suddenly replaced by a hazy overlay from eons past, a dark haired man with the very same hat, the same smile.

"After all," both men seemed to proclaim, "Family is important, especially to a D!"

• Buggy, exhausted, skittish and coiled tighter than a wire spool in a hydraulic press, takes a calloused, rubbery hand. He accepts help from the pup-captain before him.

• the strawhats are bamboozled, to be sure, but they also are both used to Luffy's unpredictability and also understand why he did this. They're pretty chill with it overall.

• Chopper has numerous Moments as he's giving Buggy a quick check up because of the drugs in his system, then gets absolutely PISSED when Buggy reveals that he doesn't know how much he took bc he hadn't known it was there in the first place. A blood test is also out of the question because of Buggy's Devil fruit, and Chopper doesn't want to risk submerging Buggy enough to get a vial to study, citing that the weakness may cause adverse reactions with the drug in his system.

Luffy has, by that point, gotten clown rated cuddle-approval and is very adamant about keeping Buggy company because Heats suck.

• Buggy is actually. Really well taken care of by the kid's crew. They respect his boundaries, never push his limits, nobody even bats an eye when he mentions his Heats aren't actually sexually driven when Chopper asks what he needs for the time period. Everyone just. Rolls with it.

It's the safest Buggy has felt in a Heat since he and Shanks were still cabin boys.

The closest anyone came to forcing something was the one and only time the swordsman released pheromones to calm Buggy from a panic attack, and even then, the green haired man apologized afterwards.

• Buggy is embarrassed to admit that he found himself scenting Luffy a time or two during half asleep moments, curled up together in a little half asked Nest. He's also embarrassed to admit that he was tempted to cent a few of the others as well. He blames the hormones.

• Buggy does wind up calling back to Karai Bari to update them - he is safe. Something came up. He'll be home soon. Ritchie and Mihawk are in charge.

• by day three, they are still docked, and Buggy is sitting on the swing on deck, braiding Robin's hair as she reads a book and sips at some sort of fruity drink. Things are calm, relatively quiet, and then everything suddenly goes to hell in a handbasket as a tornado of sand lands on the deck.

Weapons are drawn, eyes sharpen, and Crocodile reforms before them with a cigar clenched tightly in his teeth. "Where the fuck is my clown," he nearly snarls, and Buggy scoffs loudly, getting everyone's attention.

• it's a hot mess, and Chopper actually takes point on dressing down the former warlord with all the fury of athousand doctors. Luffy lurks nearby just in case, but Robin sticks to Buggy's side, having grown rather fond of the man.

Crocodile does bristle at first with the verbal attack, but actually seems to simmer down as it goes on, even going so far as to look properly chastised nearing the end of it.

The logia user turns to look Buggy up and down. "... you're alright?"

"I am now. The pup and his pack are good people - unlike the guys you wanted that deal with," the clown couldn't help hissing. "Seriously, maybe WARN a guy next time! I am all for people doing their own shit, but fuck! That shit's dangerous!"

"O isn't usually-"

"Not that, idiot! But O is dangerous to Omegas! You never even asked what my secondary was, and when I tried to get us to leave together, you blew me off. Dick move, Sir," he spit the title like venom, glaring sharply enough to match.

Crocodile cringed. "Yeah. Not... my brightest or most respectable moment."

"Ya think?"

There was silence for a bit, then Crocodile turned to fully face the other. "I'm here now," he said simply, "are you ready to head out?"

"No," Luffy cut in succinctly, "He's staying."

"What?"

Buggy echoed the sentiment.

Luffy grinned. "Your Heats last like five days, right? So stay here the next few. Chopper said it's dangerous for you to move a lot because of the drugs and your devil fruit and th-"

"Got it! Got it, dangerous. But I've spent Heats in worse condition on smaller ships by myself. I should get by fine."

And like that had been the magic word, Luffy tilted his head, smiled with eyes more mature than he seemed capable of as he spoke. "But you shouldn't have to get by, uncle Blue. You should get to be safe and happy. You can go if you wanna, but you can hang out here too. It's your choice." The younger man shot a look to Crocodile. "Not your choice, Crocodile. I like you, but I like Buggy more."

His piece said, the black haired boy turned and returned to his sniper's side, a subtle movement of his hand leading to the others relaxing minutely. Buggy bit back a purr, blushing and bristling at the urge.

"Whatever. Fine. I'll ride it out and head back when it's over. Happy?"

"Very," Luffy called back with a grin before diving back into the game he'd left abandoned.

Chopper seemed equally satisfied, nodding.

Robin stepped to his side with a smile. "He has a way with things, doesn't he?"

Buggy groaned. "Unfortunately."

And with that, the true chaos began

#buggy the clown #buggy headcanons #one piece #cross guild #omegaverse au #sfw omegaverse #straw hat pirates #luffy and buggy #one piece headcanons #shanks and buggy

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justforbooks · 5 months ago

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People will face terror and starve, many will die

The decimation of USAid is already having a terrible effect in some of the poorest places on the planet. It damages America: it will harm us all

An earthquake of magnitude 7.0 or above could not have caused more carnage. Recent floods in Asia and droughts in Africa have been catastrophic, yet they have inflicted less damage and affected fewer people than the sudden withdrawal of billions of dollars of US aid from the world’s most volatile hotspots and its most vulnerable people. Coming alongside President Trump’s plan for a US takeover of Gaza, the US administration’s resolve to shut down its international aid agency sends a clear message that the era when American leaders valued their soft power is coming to an end.

But while the Gaza plan is as yet only on the drawing board, USAid cuts – which will see funding slashed and just 290 of the more than 10,000 employees worldwide retained, according to the New York Times - have already begun to bite this week. We have seen the halting of landmine-clearing work in Asia, support for war veterans and independent media in Ukraine, and assistance for Rohingya refugees on the border of Bangladesh. This week, drug deliveries to fight the current mpox and Ebola outbreaks in Africa have been stopped, life-saving food lies rotting at African ports, and even initiatives targeting trafficking of drugs like fentanyl have been cut back. One of the world’s most respected charities, Brac, says that the 90-day blanket ban on helping vulnerable people is depriving 3.5 million people of vital services.

One critical programme has been granted a limited waiver. Pepfar, created by Republican president George W Bush, offers antiretroviral prescriptions to 20 million people around the world to combat HIV and Aids. Its activities escaped the ban only after warnings that a 90-day stoppage could lead to 136,000 babies acquiring HIV. But it has still been blocked from organising cervical cancer screening, treating malaria, tuberculosis and polio, assisting maternal and child health, and efforts to curtail outbreaks of Ebola, Marburg and mpox.

Not only does the stop-work edict mean that, in a matter of days, the US has destroyed the work of decades building up goodwill around the world, but Trump’s claim that America has been over-generous is exposed as yet another exaggeration. Norway tops the list as biggest donor of official development assistance (ODA) as a percentage of gross national income (GNI) at 1.09%; Britain is at just over 0.5%, albeit down from the UN target of 0.7%; but the US is near the bottom of the advanced economies at 0.24% – alongside Slovenia and the Czech Republic. It is simply the size of the US economy – 26% of world output – that means that the 0.24% adds up to more aid than any other country. The US provided $66bn in 2023, making USAid a leader in global humanitarian aid, education and health, not least in addressing HIV/Aids, malaria and tuberculosis.

On Sunday night, Trump told reporters that USAid had been “run by a bunch of radical lunatics, and we’re getting them out”. “I don’t want my dollars going towards this crap,” his press spokesperson added, with one of the president’s chief advisers Elon Musk calling the agency a “viper’s nest of radical-left marxists who hate America”. “You’ve got to basically get rid of the whole thing. It’s beyond repair,” he said. “We’re shutting it down.”

Indeed, in a post on X last weekend, Musk shared a screenshot quoting the false claim that “less than 10 percent of our foreign assistance dollars flowing through USAID is actually reaching those communities”. The implication is that the remaining 90% was diverted, stolen, or just wasted. In fact, the 10% figure is the proportion of the budget going directly to NGOs and organisations in the developing world. The remaining 90% is not wasted – instead, it comprises all the goods and services that USAid, American companies and NGOs, and multilateral organisations deliver in kind, from HIV drugs to emergency food aid, malaria bed nets, and treatment for malnutrition. It is simply untrue that 90% of aid falls into the wrong hands and never reaches the most vulnerable.

In fact, the initial blanket executive order proved to be such a blunt instrument – the only initial exemptions were for emergency food aid and for military funding for Israel and Egypt – that it had to be modified to include exceptions for what the government called “life-saving humanitarian assistance”, although it stopped short of defining them. “We are rooting out waste. We are blocking woke programs. And we are exposing activities that run contrary to our national interests. None of this would be possible if these programs remained on autopilot,” said a statement released by the state department. The new secretary of state, Marco Rubio, now wants his department to control the whole budget and close down USAid entirely. “Does it make America safer? Does it make America stronger? Does it make America more prosperous?” Rubio asked in a statement that suggested that the America which generally worked multilaterally in a unipolar era is now determined to act unilaterally in a multipolar one.

This new stance is not just “America first” but “America first and only” – and a gift to Hamas, IS, the Houthi rebels, and all who wish to show that coexistence with the US is impossible. The shutdown is also good news for China, whose own global development initiative will be strengthened as it positions itself to replace America. Desperate people will turn to extremists who will say that the US can never again be trusted. And by causing misery and by alienating actual and possible allies, far from making America great again, the cancellation of aid will only make America weaker.

The tragedy for the planet is that US aid cuts come on top of diminishing aid budgets among the world’s richest economies, from Germany to the UK. International aid agencies are now so underfunded that in 2024, for the second consecutive year, the UN covered less than half of its humanitarian funding goal of nearly $50bn – at a time when increasing conflicts and natural disasters necessitate more relief donor grants than ever. Yes, we can discuss how greater reciprocity can create a fairer system of burden sharing – but further cuts in aid threaten more avoidable deaths, and a poorer world will ultimately make the US poorer too.

US generosity is often seen as mere charity, but it is in the country’s self-interest to be generous because the creation of a more stable world benefits us all. We all gain if USAid can mitigate the spread of infectious diseases, prevent malnutrition in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Sudan, halt the upsurge of IS in Syria and support a fair, humanitarian reconstruction of Gaza and Ukraine. Only the narrowest and most blinkered view of what constitutes “America first” can justify the disaster America has unloaded on the world.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

#just for books #USAid #Opinion #message from the editor

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