#Chat i think i'm still trans

[biggie-cheeese]

The feeling of my flat chest is so euphoric why the hell did I give this up

[infinitystation]

dont know if this is a very common experience, but in MY experience, cis people actually do not care about gendered bathrooms. until you're trans. people at my work are ALWAYS saying "men's bathroom was full so i just went in the women's" and vice versa and saying "oh that bathroom is out of toilet paper, just go in the other one"

damn, yall aren't scared of being hatecrimed? shot? accused of being One Of Us? so it actually DOESN'T matter which bathroom we use??? so then the bathroom debate was just because you want the evil trans people to never be seen in public so that YOU can be free to do whatever you want, got it

[thewhizzyhead]

hi bros and bitches i have an announcement - i think i'm nonbinary

[neon-ufo]

Can anybody attest to a perfect description like the ones we used to know? We were younger then. I'd like to think I'm realistic, still I'm never satisfied. Too afraid of what might come along, too uptight to make it mine.

Song for June: All Good People by Good Luck

~~~ In the past months I've been almost haunted by restless thoughts about my identity & how I've treated it. My closest ones all know I'm trans, but it was something I've kept private from most, as I didn't feel like it was anyone's business. I've repressed it, and I've repressed the art that might've come from it in order to keep it private.

But I recently started to come to terms with the fact that being trans is in fact part of my identity. For the longest time I haven't really felt it was, I kinda just transitioned and moved on. To some degree I still feel like it's much less 'important' to me than it seems to many other people here, which makes me feel a bit alienated. However remaining private about it has started to gnaw at me a lot. I wanted to share it. One's views of oneself can change surprisingly a lot with time.

I had a chat with a fellow transmasc friend not too long ago, about how differently we experience our identities, and it moved something in me. I suddenly felt so much awe for the fluidity of gender expression, in a different way than how I've already appreciated it. Like it just hit me that what I considered a mundane existence wasn't all that mundane after all. I'm trans, and it feels good to say it. (:

Predictably, this piece was very hard to draw. Expressing myself in art doesn't come easy to me, and I can't help but wonder if the two issues might be connected at the core. I took photos of my scars to use in this image, for an additional personal touch <:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I tried to covertly exclude one of my friends from game nights ? 🎮🎧📞

tw: disordered eating, self harm

I've got a discord friend group of about 15 people though only 10 or so are regularly active and game nights often are usually around 6 people but they rotate who participates often. We're all in the 20s and mostly nonbinary / genderqueer / trans one way or another. I'm 25 ftm personally (they them) and the friend this is about in particular is 22mtf (she/they).

Friend is really excited to hit the 1 year marker in her transition and loves sharing how excited she is about her progress - how strangers at her job are gendering her correctly more and more often, how her cup sizes are growing, how much weight she's lost, wardrobe updates, getting to learn girl things from their very supportive mom, etc etc etc. It's all very exciting, I remember hitting my 1 year marker and i'm genuinely really happy for her.

The thing is I struggled with disordered eating in the past. Several others in our friend group have as well and it's something we've talked about both in related and unrelated convos to this issue. Friend keeps an excel spreadsheet with her measurements from bust to hips to weight and will update us frequently whether we've expressed interest in hearing the exact numbers or not. Exact Numbers was one of the things I kept track of and hearing her tracking them (for very different reasons) will often set me off and i'll start taking more and more unhealthy actions, falling back into disordered habits.

Friend has adhd and very poor impulse control. She often joins conversations and talks over people, completely changes conversational topics on a dime, or forgets who is in a call at any moment and brings up someone's triggers. She'll almost always apologize if someone mentions a social mistake she's made, but because the weight/food intake/number watching is so important to them as a way to track their transition it's the one thing that keeps coming back and back and back. I and the others have tried talking in voice calls, mentioning in text chats in the group and even DMing her but because of the topic and this group being the friend group she feels safest in (we were all the first to know and hyped them up on the hrt journey) these are some convos she only gets to have here

and because of the topic, i feel rude or embarrassed when I have to say "hey can we not talk about this right now or i'm gonna have to leave". So on most nights if it comes up I'll just deafen / go afk / just zone out entirely until the conversation has passed. If it doesn't seem like it's going to or they are so in depth that it's genuinely triggering a self harm response i'll fully leave instead so she can keep having her fun and get excited

Game nights are different though

I'm usually the host of game night and so can pick when we play our silly little games. Obviously people can and do still hangout and do things together Not on specific game nights, and we all do, but game nights are my thing. We play party games over discord or multiplayer competition games or lately have been getting into games like content warning and lethal company when there's 4 or sometimes 5 of us (either someone wants to hang out but only watch or we rotate around who plays round by round)

Friend is often working in the evenings and so bc this is an online friend group they don't actually know my work schedule. We usually only have about half the total number of participants be around for game night anyways, so I've been thinking of occasionally lining up game nights for nights when she's mentioned being busy by saying i work the other nights - but only sometimes. I do really like friend. She can be so much fun to hang out with, excitingly competitive and with interesting knowledge to share and generally a good sport no matter the actual game we're playing. But sometimes the worry about the triggering and the trigginering itself are too much. sometimes i just can't handle when she does it and knowing i can't leave and asking her to stop expressing her joy makes me feel like an asshole anyways so i don't want to be around it.

To be clear. I do not think they are an asshole. Friend is genuinely one of my friends. I like her and hanging out with her. they do not trigger me (or any of the others w this same trigger) maliciously. this is solely would I be the asshole.

TLDR: My friends way of tracking her transition sometimes triggers my eating disorder. would I be the asshole for planning game nights that I host and cannot leave / tune out conversations during so that she cannot attend as often in hopes that I am not triggered as often?

[plaidos]

I'm a tme nonbinary person and I remember one of my closest friends invited me to their group chat with their other friends (all tme (transmascs and theyfabs)). I was happy at first thinking I was going to have a bigger friend group with more trans people, but these people always misgendered me when referring to me. I tried to correct them multiple times because I figured they didn't know I was nonbinary before they met me. Still unfortunately didn't stop! Over time I just kind of stopped participating in the chat but would check in. One day I came in to see all of them suddenly talking about "how no one is obligated to have sex with transfems, because no one should have to interact with a penis if they don't want to". I was disgusted they were all saying this and tried to bring it up with my friend as gently as I could because I constantly felt like I had to walk around on eggshells with them. I ended up leaving the chat properly since no one there was my friend and I couldn't by convince anyone not to talk like that. It was crazy because I later found out that entire group turned on each other for some reason or another and ended up constantly misgendering each other when someone was perceived to have done something wrong. The happy ending is the new group I found has transfems who I became very close with and are amazing people I can't imagine being without.

jeez, i’m sorry that happened to you anon. i’m glad you’ve found a safer community who supports you. honestly? it sounds like you dodged a bullet there. no wonder they didn’t respect your pronouns if they were one argument away from denying each other their identities too 😭

[hookedonyonics]

hung out with a casual friend today who has a nb ex-gf and a plethora of nb friends who i've met a few times i've referred to a few of the non-binaries as "she" (when they're not there) to which she quickly corrects me "them" and the last couple times we've hung out i've thrown around in my head that it might be good to casually plant the seed, something casual like "oh I don't really do gender" or something like that...

anyway i felt like today was going really good so i started testing the waters talking about the young gay guy at work and how we don't really get along bc he's annoying and we also disagree on things and she was like like what and i'm like well i don't really vibe with drag and he's a drag queen so we did that one for a few back and forths and she didn't agree but mostly got it. so i summarized with like yeah so we don't see eye to on that, and like other things. and shes like what other things 👀 and i'm like. like who should be participating in women's sports 👀 did a few back and forths on that one. and i think she understood deep down that that physically TIMs shouldn't be participating in women's sports bc she ignored that completely and spent a couple sentences conceding that females taking testosterone is unfair and spent most of her time on locker rooms and saying that sports aren't important.

and then she was like. so wait... what do you think about washrooms?? and i was like :) after washrooms we got into broader strokes and she was like jaw-dropped shocked and kind of scandalized but honestly took it pretty well. I don't think she's ever talked to a trans critical person (who wasn't like, a redneck or churchgoer) before so she was quite taken aback and shocked at how civil i am with her friends and that she couldn't tell.

at the beginning I was very Male and Female but by the end i was like i mean. I think trans women are men straight up. honestly felt good. she said a few times that i'm entitled to my opinion, she disagrees with basically everything i said, and she can't see herself changing and i was like hey you never know ;) i used to be full the other way.

excellent late night convo with my med school student cousin last night!! We were first talking medical ethics re: abortion and then she was alluding to the ultra liberal city students being in for a rude awakening when they go to rural areas (especially in our province) to which I was like fuck it and ripped off the bandaid re: trans stuff and tbh it went great.

She is mostly uncertain/open to all sides but doesn't like that the trans side isn't willing to have discussions about it and noted that it's because they have nothing to back up what they're saying and their arguments fall apart so easily. Go off queen.

and she definitely feels extremely handcuffed about it in med school, like you absolutely cannot question anything about it so everyone stays quiet.

[leikeliscomet]

Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

[call-me-noa]

New year, new me.

Okay so it's still a few weeks until New Year's, but I think I'm gonna go ahead and post this now anyway. If you're wondering who this "Noa" person you don't remember following is, this account used to be named Reignsan.

It's been just about 19 years since I came up with the name Reign. I was 11 years old at the time and originally used it for a Sonic OC. I don't remember why I chose that name, I think it just sounded cool. You know, picking things the way that 11 year olds tend to do. Pretty quickly the name Reign went from being the name of my Sonic OC to the name I used everywhere online. For almost two decades that's what I've been called by.

But recently—cropping up every now and then in the last few years, but increasingly more often in the last few months—I've kind of found myself drifting away from Reign as an identifier. When people call me by that it's started to feel "off", like taking a moment to register that they're talking to me.

Earlier this year I renamed my FFXIV character Noa and that name really clicked with me. I like how it sounds. Ironically this actually happened shortly before I played Xenoblade 3, a game where the main character is named Noah, so that's actually a coincidence if you can believe it. I've started slowly transferring to using the name Noa on other places, like my FGO and Twitch usernames (for the record I don't stream, it's just when I'm talking in Twitch chat).

This isn't a trans thing; I'm not cracking an egg or coming out of the closet. I'm pretty comfortable in my gender identity. But it is still an identity thing. I feel kind of stupid making a big deal about changing an online username, but when you've used the same one for almost twenty years it is kind of a leap.

So long story short I'm committing to changing my screen name from Reign to Noa. For people who've known me a long time, especially my friends who've known me pretty much the entire length of time I've gone by Reign, I know this will be an adjustment. But I'd really appreciate it if you could keep it in mind. Of course I know you won't memorize it overnight and there will be slip-ups, but yeah.

So, yeah. New year new me. Please call me Noa.

[stupidlypregnant]

Hi, you can call me bunny 💞

I'm a - mostly, not exclusively - submissive ftm trans boy (top surgery, on t, still have a boypussy) and I'm looking for a dom that fills up my empty tummy with lots of baby bunnies. I'll be good for you, promise!

My main kinks are pregnancy and labor - the harder the better. Please make me uncomfortable, make me struggle. Birth denial is my biggest turn on 🥺

I am a man. If you're not into men, don't text me. When you talk about my body it's cock, dick, boypussy, pussy, chest and nipples. Nothing else.

Kinks: mild pet play (bunny, maybe puppy), cum control and edging, praise and humiliation, ownership, daddy/sir/mommy kink, cockwarming, breeding, stuffing/overindulgence (no weight gain, no food kink etc.), crossdressing and lingerie, choking, public stuff, kidnapping, multiples pregnancy (4 babies max.), big pregnant belly, belly rubs/massages, egg pregnancy (normal sized eggs), mild torture, mild belly abuse, lactation, being (long) overdue, contractions, labor, sexual stuff during labor, giving birth (until it gets graphic, for me the fun is over when the head starts coming out), birth denial (labor suppressants, holding in, corruption, plugging etc.) ...

Not for me/limits: minors, rape, toilet stuff (I like constipation in the right setting, mainly because of the full, tight belly and desperation but I'm not into scat, also like holding pee, teasing the bladder from outside but I'm not into piss), vomit/nausea, medical stuff, early stages of pregnancy, extreme hyperpreg, rapid or magical pregnancy, unusual weight gain, feeding, unusual big babies, vore, unbirth, furries, monsters, aliens (unless they're very human-like), death, blood and gore, fantasy, fluff, lovey dovey happy stuff, being called mama or daddy or something like that, I don't wanna be a parent or talk about the babies after they're out, didn't think I had to add this but - NO NUDES without my consent.

I am obviously pro-choice, if you're not - leave. I'm not into babies or fetuses or whatever people may think, if you are - leave. I'm also not into sexualizing real pregnant or birthing people here - because I'd find that scary as fuck, seeing my face or worse the face of my child on a blog like this.

My DM's and asks are open, please tell me what you wanna do to me 💖 It doesn't seem like it as I use this blog as an outlet for my submissive side but sometimes I like to dom/top too! I always say I'm mostly gay but I like girls too, especially dominant ones. Roleplay only in form of horny chatting atm, love to exchange thoughts too (English isn't my first language, I'm trying my best!). Don't forget that I'm a person under all of that and I like to be treated as such.

My own stuff is tagged as #bunnyboywrites

[lowkeyrobin]

could you write a walker x transmasc!reader oneshot? if not, that is fine aswell! - 🗡️

of course I could!! just beware any random shit because I don't know much about being transmasc and I did a lot of research on reddit and tiktok for this for like mannerisms ans shit ; thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy! ; for any regulars on my blog, ik I've enforced the gn reader only thing but I updated my rules list, where I'll only do trans masc/fem readers on request. that doesn't mean request a thing and add one of those solely for a set of he/him or she/her pronouns though. ; post writing robin and this was actually so fun to write LMAO I hope you like this even tho it's so short

WALKER SCOBELL ; the boys

summary ; youre transmasc and properly come out to walker and co + some stupid shit for two parts

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; idk shit about awards shows + imagine middle school auditorium seats for the first part

word count ; 723

masterlist

You, Aryan, Walker, and Leah sit in the audience at the 2025 Emmy Awards, chatting before the cameras turned on to watch the proper show begin. You and Walker sit together, with Aryan and Leah right behind you. The thick, tan, plastic chairs were going to do a number on your ass later. For a million-dollar award show you'd think they would upgrade the seat situation a little bit.

Leah and Aryan sit forward in their seats, holding a conversation with you and Walker, both turned around in yours.

"No, and like, you will not be calling me that, thank you!" You laugh and smile, "If you get your grimy hands on my legal name I will actually throw myself away. I am a man!"

"Wait, what?" Walker questions, eyebrows furrowed. "Legal name?"

"I changed my name" You clarify. "Cause like..." You look yourself up and down, hands following your gaze. "Y'know?"

Walker blinks, pushing his blonde curls away from his face. "Wait... you're trans?"

You nod, a playful yet unbelievable smile on your face. "How did you not know?"

"Even I knew" Leah comments, glancing at Aryan, who nods in agreement.

"I thought it was kinda obvious." You chuckle, seeing his surprised reaction. "I had to keep correcting people about my name like, a million times"

"I never knew you had another name? I thought it was always Y/n!"

"This is going on my story"

"Which one?"

"The Boys"

Walker smiles, his right arm slung over your shoulders as he watches you caption and post the picture you'd just taken with him on your public Snapchat story. It was titled The Boys, meant for you and all your close friends.

He was glad to see that you considered him one of your close friends, but also on such a deep level, though it was just a title to you. He saw the deeper meaning that you didn't. Like an over analyzing reader to a writer. He was happy you also considered yourself a boy, that you could happily parade that around and feel comfortable with your identity. He truly couldn't be more proud to see you happy and smiling in this moment.

You look back up at him, a cheesy smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"What's that look for?" You ask, a little confused.

"Nothing" He replies, patting your right shoulder blade as he moves his arm around a bit. "We should definitely make a playlist and put it on your story for people to listen to" He suggests with a slight shrug.

"For what?" You ask again, a little puzzled as to where this was going."

"Just cause"

"Okay, Mr.-Won't-Explain-Shit-Scobell"

"You just went on a five minute tangent trying to avoid the word homophobia"

"I was testing the waters with your gaydar, cause apparently it was broken the first time"

"I don't have a gaydar! I'm just, like, here! I'm just a guy"

"Look at this handsome man! Dude, wear purple more, I'm so serious"

"Okay, I see you, Y/n!"

"Fix your tie!"

"I'm trying, I'm still learning! I didn't have this chapter of boyhood"

"Here-" The blonde mumbles, reaching forward to fix your black tie.

You tilt your chin up, giving him easy access to the cloth wrapped around your neck. Leah and Aryan watch, smug looks on their faces.

You send them a glare, trying not to alert Walker to it. He quickly reties your tie, sending you a thumbs up as he backs away. You quickly thank him, a warmth heating up your cheeks, physically unnoticeable.

"Walker, you look like a divorce lawyer." You comment, stuffing your hands in your purple pockets.

The blonde dramatically scoffs, a hand rested on his heart. "You're so mean to me! You're not welcome to the next boys sleepover"

"I don't wanna be a part of that dorky shit anyways"

"Okay, meanie"

"What are you, twelve?"

"...Did you just attempt to quote me?"

You shrug with a side nod.

Leah speaks for you, "Yeah, he did"

"How do you know?"

"He told us that he was gonna try and quote you at least once today" She chuckles.

The three look back at you, lining your jawline with your finger, clearly sucking up your tongue.

"Dude, stop mewing, we have to go out there in like, a minute"

[drarry-reccage]

Fawning Over You by @toxik-angel (39k, E)

Tags: Trans Draco Malfoy, Porn Star Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Is Obsessed with Draco Malfoy, Texting, Supportive Ron and Hermione

He can’t look at either of them. Hermione shifts, the floorboards creaking the only noise in the room. Ron clears his throat. “Replace every time Harry’s mentioned ‘short film’ with ‘porn video,’ and you’ll get it.” Hermione’s small oh is mortifying.  “Wait, you went to Draco’s dorm room to watch his porn together? And you’re still wondering if he’s into you?” “Um. Not quite?” Harry says, chancing a look at her. She has her ‘ you are quite thick’ expression on. “But if I told you what we… actually did… I think I might literally die again.” “You said you didn’t sleep together.” “Uh huh.” “So you didn’t make a porn video.” “Can we talk about literally anything else? Want to talk about my nightmares? Because that would be less horrible than this.”  “So you see why Harry can’t make a move, right? Because he’s Draco’s client, technically, and it would be inappropriate if Harry pushed.” “Harry, what could be so embarrassing that isn’t having sex with Draco Malfoy?” Hermione asks. “There’s only so many things you could do in a dorm room. Did you do drugs?”  Harry lets out a slightly hysterical laugh. 

(Rec by @cailynwrites)

This fic stuck out to me from @hd-fan-fair's excellent selection last year. It is hilarious but has so much heart as well. This is no down-and-out Draco, he's proud to be a sex worker. He's hot and Harry's into it. @toxik-angel writes pithy chat and text exchanges between the two that had me laughing out loud. As a bonus, I recorded the podfic version for @hptransfest this year and I'm really proud of it.

🎧 Listen to the podfic version recorded by me🎧

[magicisrealandsoismyally]

“Saying you’re not the most oppressed person in the room means that I must now think that I am” have you ever even tried to talk to a trans masc person of color about how they get treated for their gender or did you just decide the feeling for an entire subsection of the trans community, like a white woman

Right so I am literally talking about how when a trans woman says transmisogyny exists and that transmascs have privilege over transfems, she'll get bombarded with claims of how she, as a white transfem (it fully doesn't matter if she is white or not, but this typically works because all the vocal transfems with popular blogs are white cause y'all drove most of the POC transfems off the site years ago), has privilege over POC transmascs, a true statement, that has nothing to do with what she says but sounds like it does.

This is a strategy that relies on the fact that if she agrees with that, it makes her sound like her theory is incorrect, but if she denies it, she sounds racist and will be accused as such in the callouts and doxxing that follows. Meanwhile every POC transmasc I have met is tired of this shit and hates the fact that white boys use them as a tool to bully transfems off the website.

This is a strategy used by transandrophobia truthers and transmascs who deny the existence of transmisogyny, a venn diagram that is almost a circle. So yeah, my point stands.

I can in fact answer your question. Yes. In fact, I was talking to my parter, who is a transmasc POC, last night. And I talk about everything I post about trans rights in a group chat that is nearly entirely transmascs and transfems of color. He was telling me how annoyed he was at transandrophobia truthers who used tone deaf arguments that weaponized transmascs of color. You know, like I've been saying. Because he told me about it and I figured it was important to say.

I've also got white transmasc friends who understand that they hold the privilege of both men and white people, while still being targets of transphobia. Who understand that transfems do not hold a position of privilege of transmascs, and understand that they hold privilege over tranfems. Because intersectionality is a thing and not just something we yell at each other to win arguments.

I am assuming that like "a white woman" is to claim that I'm acting like a white woman, which I should probably make a whole different post on why that's an issue for men (i'm assuming you're a man here, apologies if not, but like, you're an anonymous person going up to bat for MRAs, the odds are good you're a dude) to say (tldr in advance, men used terms invented by minorities describing racism and entitlement and used it for misogyny; like karen)

But if you were in fact, assuming i was white, which again, giving you the benefit of the doubt here, but just in case: called it

[theweirderstuffblogdontlook]

early draft Bob Velseb Fanfic

(im still working on a small comic to accompany this fic before i release it officially, but i would appreciate the feedback, so dont hesitate to comment as it encourages me to make more art for the au. This comic takes place after the events of this post.) For reference, the woman in this image next to bob is Mary-Anne

then in this image, from left to right (no including Bob in the middle) we have Roxy, Greta, Sparrow, Ash, Trixie, Jane (who's the bar's manager and doesn't appear in the fic), and Billie (who is the bar's bouncer)

Fic is below the readmore. And I kinda recommend looking back at the images every so often to keep track of who's who, cus there's a lot of lesbians hanging out chatting in this fic.

Hanging out in the mismatched collection of old sofas in the lounge area of the local lesbian bar, some of the bar’s regulars were having a casual chat. When another of the regulars, a woman named Mary-Anne, excitedly came up to the group with a laptop in hand. Mary: “Hey you girls wanna see my latest true crime theory?! I think I've got a really good one this time!” Sparrow: “YEEEEAAAAHhhhhhh! Lemme see it! Show us what detective work ya been up to!” Trixie: “Did you finally see if I’ve done any murders I didn't know about? You said you’d check.” Mary: “Yeah I know, and I'll get to it eventually, but I found something way more interesting…… Barbra.” Sparrow: “Barbra?” Mary: “Yeah!” She sets up the laptop on the table, the women all crowding around to get a look, as Mary-Anne puts on a dramatic, though still a bit joking, tone and pose.

Mary: “Barbra, could secretly be, the notorious serial killer…. Bob Velseb.”

Ash: “Who?” Sparrow: “No fucking way! The Halloween cannibal from that other town down south? How’ed you make that connection?”

Roxy: “Excuse me, Cannibal?!”

Ash: “That’s pretty metal actually. Wish looking into me found connections to crimes that sick.” Greta: “Ummm, isn’t that man dead?”

Sparrow: “Wait yeah good point. The news said he got caught and killed by police last Halloween night. Shouldn't that be like, disqualifying for what hypothetical crimes you think your friends might have committed?”

Mary: “Wellllll…. yeah, supposedly he even had an autopsy and everything. But It fits too well if you just ignore the whole being dead thing!”

Roxy: “Hey! Don't you buncha freaks go just comparing Barbra to people like that. She hasn't even been around that long. Don't need you scaring her off with your true crime detective mess when I know you didn't even ask if she was okay with it first!”

Mary: “But it's suuuuuuuch a good one though!”

Trixie: “Yeah lighten up, I doubt she's gonna mind. I mean it's not like Barbara is actually gonna be a DEAD criminal. And especially with those morbid jokes she likes, she'll probably think it's hilarious.”

Roxy: “Nuh-Uh! I don't care how funny it is. She's still doing this without asking! It's one thing for her to look into yalls lives like a creepy stalker when you ask her to. But don't you go encouraging her with that spying into people's business shit without permission!”

Mary: “Aww come on.”

Ash: “Okay, I'm actually gonna agree with Roxy here. I mean what if one day, I really have to murder someone? I don't need Sherlock Holmes getting on my trail ten minutes later. You could at least ask first.”

Sparrow: “Come on, that's different! I'm sure you'd have a good reason if you did ever murder someone. And she'd be more likely to help you bury the body than turn you in. We all would.”

Roxy: “Nuh-uh, I still don't like this biz. Plus, isn't Barbra a trans woman? You'd probably end up hurting her feelings more by comparing her to a dead MAN than to the whole criminal thing.”

Sparrow: “Wait, since when was Barbra trans?”

Ash: “She was kinda making it obvious with that wig she always wears.”

Sparrow: “Wait really? I thought she was wearing the wig because she had some grizzly scar or something on her head from the car crash and didn't want to call attention to it. I mean they did say she had a bad head injury. Like it's why they said she's always wearing the sunglasses even when inside. The concussion like, messed up her ability to look directly at bright lights or something.”

Ash: “...Yeah okay that's a fair point I didn't need to immediately jump to her wearing the wig being to make her pass better. But like, there's still a lot of stuff besides that. Plus Caprica admitted to it. Barbra definitely used to be a dude.”

Greta: “Doesn't really matter if she's trans regardless, since she only ever really flirts with Caprica.”

Trixie: “I'd fuck her even with a dick like are you fucking kidding me? She's hot as hell.”

Sparrow: “Oh my god same! I swear Barbra is wasted on that woman.”

Roxy: “Yeah, but like, I ain't gonna pretend I wouldn't get a massive crush too if some lady pulled my fat ass out of a burning car wreck and lemme stay at her place while I recover like Caprica did. That's like some fairytale relationship shit.”

Trixie: “Exactly! if I got my life saved all dramatically by someone who's not just gay, but gay AND single ANNND they let you stay at their house for free? I wouldn't even care if they were hot or not. You'd have to be a real big piece of shit to be getting rid of me anytime soon. I'd be grabbing on with both hands. Maybe not as hard as Barbra seems to be, but still.”

Greta: “Umm, I meant more that she's not pressuring anybody, so it wouldn't matter either way what she has.”

Mary: “We're getting off topic! I wanna talk about my cool theory!”

Ash: “Right, right, let's hear it.”

Roxy: “Let's NOT hear it! She didn't ask Barbra for permission!”

Sparrow: “Well since she's already put it together, the least we could do is go over it and let her know if it'd be a mistake to tell Barbra and hurt her feelings. Like if it is something really insulting, it would be better to act like it never happened right?”

Roxy folds her arms and grumbled, but otherwise stops complaining. Letting Mary-Anne get on with it.

Tapping on her laptop for a second before turning it around to show a PowerPoint style compilation of research and pictures, starting with Bob's prison mugshot, which the ladies leaned in to see.

Mary: “So here's what I found. So we've got this Bob Velseb guy right? Notorious cannibal serial killer, captured on Halloween night a few years ago and put in prison.”

Billie: “....Did you really make a whole presentation for this?”

Mary: “I told you, it's a really good one! And I had to keep my evidence somewhere anyway. So it's like a digital scrapbook, and I just cleaned it up some to show you.”

Trixie, with a bit of a teasing tone: “Becha wish you could make a whole corkboard setup with red yarn instead.”

Mary: “I sooooooo would, but it’s just too hard to fit that sort of thing in my car and drive it around. You all gotta come meet at my house so I can have the excuse to set up a real one!” Billie: “....Amateur detective potluck.” Mary: “Omg yes. With like a bunch of detective based desserts! Sparrow: Chalk outline chocolate cookies!

Ash: “Halloween coleslaw.” Roxy, through half muffled snickering: “Girl, the fuck is halloween coleslaw??” Mary: “We’re getting off track! Back to what I was saying…”

She switches to the next slides showing clips from newspapers and the like.

Mary: “So he stays in prison for awhile. But then last year, he escapes from prison with a few other small time criminals.

And he spends a few months killing people, like 8 or 9 bodies being found, all with the same M - O. Until Halloween night comes around again. He goes after the same family he got caught while trying to kill that other Halloween. And it leads to an encounter with the police who kill him in a shootout. Where he's brought to the morgue for an autopsy and has the cause of death confirmed…..

BUT!!!”

She changes to the next slide, which was talking about a car crash, a man found dead, and had a map with some areas marked in mspaint.

Mary: “The next day after the news report of Mr. Velseb’s death goes out, we have this weird little event happen. So there’s this man, who was supposedly on his way to a hunting trip? He's found stabbed to death on the side of the road here.”

She zooms in on the map, showing the road between this town and the weird little town where Bob comes from, and points to the marked location just past the outskirts of Bob's town.

Mary: “Now wild animals had gotten to the corpse before it was found, so it was pretty mangled, but he had definitely been stabbed. Which is a bit of evidence that could link to the knife wielding serial killer. Bob Velseb, also known as the devil butcher, so named because he used to be a butcher and ended up feeding his victims to his patrons.”

Roxy: “Oh, no, ew why'd you have to go and tell me that?”

Mary: “Well I had to give you the context that this is a guy who stabs people, so we should be looking for stuff like this where the victim was stabbed.”

Roxy: “You could've just said he stabs people!”

Mary: “Well, he also tends to butcher and eat people so we gotta keep an eye out for…”

Billie, in her slightly monotone, but firm voice: “Maybe cool it with the gruesome details.” 

Mary: “Alright alright. It's not super relevant right now anyway, since it looks to me like the guy was in too much of a rush anyway to actually butcher anyone. Because the interesting thing for us…. is this man's truck.”

She points to a location further down the road, on the outskirts of their own town/small city and close to one of the parks.

Mary: “His truck… was found here. Crashed into a ditch, blood all over the inside of it, but no body. So if it had been a regular crash, then the hunter's body should have been right here with his car, not all the way back here covered in stab wounds. So according to the evidence, he was stabbed to death here, had his car stolen by someone who looked to be pretty injured themselves, which was then driven all the way here… to our town.”

Roxy: “Guuuurl…. Shut the hell up! That is sinister as fuck! You're telling me we've got somethin coming up from that creepy ass missing kids town, to over where we live? Man I don't even care if it happened the day after some big time serial killer died. That should still be a big ass problem!”

Mary: “Don't worry, it gets even better!”

Billie: “I think you mean worse.” 

Mary: “Yeah! It gets even worse! So in the days after this body was found up until now, the number of murders went way up for about a month or so. With the bodies matching Bob Velsebs usual modus operandi. Showing up stabbed and mangled with pieces missing. With even a few cops getting killed in that time! 

And then after that, even though there weren't any more bodies being found, the number of missing persons still stayed higher. Almost like a murderer who used to work out in the open….  was now covering his tracks.”

Trixie: “That's spooky as hell! Why's this the first time I'm hearing about somebody out there killing people??”

Billie gave a bit of a knowing look as she explained: “Because what we're listening to is a conspiracy. She's not seeing the evidence and working from it, she's made a theory first and is putting together all the information that supports the theory. That's how these true crime conspiracies work. It's good for a spooky campfire story, but there's a reason why the actual detectives aren't saying the same thing and telling the local news to spread the word.”

Roxy: “Man, you're just gonna be working me up over nothing then.”

Mary: “Not REALLY nothing, this stuff has actually happened.”

She then pitches her voice low and spooky for emphasis.

Mary: “And who knows, maybe there really was a cover up with the serial killer not actually being killed.”

Sparrow: “Yeah! Don't be a spoilsport! So like, so…. Like… uhhh… so how does this stuff have anything to do with Barbra though? Like you're saying the death of this Bob guy was a cover up, but how does this connect to Barbra?”

Mary: “Well first up, their descriptions are very similar. Barbra has the right height and build for…”

Billie: “How tall did they say this Velseb guy was?”

Mary: “Uhhh….”

She flipped through the presentation back to the mugshot 

“6 foot 4.”

Billie: “Yeah, that's about right for Barbra.”

Showing her experience as a bouncer with being able to judge people's height from comparing them to their ID's.

Mary: “Right! Hair color, skin, build, even the accents match too.”

Sparrow: “Cool! That's already way better than when you tried to link me to any murders!”

Mary: “I know right!”

Greta: “Still, that's just looking like a dead serial killer. If you're only going based off of just happening to know someone who matches the description, that could still lead to hurt feelings.”

Mary: “But that's the thing, it's not only looking the same. Like for instance, think about how Barbara and Caprica said they met.”

Billie: “.... A car accident.”

Mary: “Right! And what started off this whole uptick in violent crime? This guy getting killed, getting his truck stolen, then whoever stole it crashing the truck into a ditch on the outskirts of the town.”

Trixie: “That's not the same type of accident they described in how they met though.”

Mary: “Yeah, but any good cover story has an element of truth in it.”

Ash: “So you're basically saying, that Caprica pulled somebody out of a wreck, who turned out to be a cannibal serial killer that the cops covered up the death of. And who instead of cannibal serial killing her, fell head over heels in love, and now…. what, they're like a serial killer power couple or something? So is Caprica secretly a serial killer now too?”

Mary: “Weeeeeeeelllllllll…. Kinda? Yeah? I mean, turns out, Capricas actually kinda legit been through some horrible stuff in real life. Buuuuut I'm not so sure about talking about that stuff since it, you know, actually 100% happened to her.”

Trixie: “Shit, so you're saying she actually has some kind of excuse for how trying to make smalltalk with her, makes her look like she's offended you even thought to try and speak to her?

It's not like… you know. Because of some guy…. Right?”

Mary: “No, no, nothing like that.”

Greta: “Well… you might as well tell us since we've come this far.”

Mary: “....Okay. Just a sec.”

She goes to the laptop, clicks open a web browser, and takes a moment to look up the right event.

Mary: “Okay, so over a decade ago, there was this thing that happened at a campsite near here, where this big elk supposedly ate something bad, like old rat poison from the 70s or something, which made it freak out and go on a violent rampage where it gored a bunch of campers to death.”

She steps back to show an old newspaper clipping with a picture of Caprica and a bunch of young scouts.

Mary: “Caprica was one of the few survivors, who also saved a bunch of cub scouts by having them climb a tree where the elk couldn't reach them.”

Sparrow: “Hold on, I actually recognize this one! That's the state record for the single most people killed in a single day due to an animal attack! So Caprica was one of the people involved in it the whole time? That's wild!”

Ash: “From hero to serial killer….. That's pretty brutal of her…. Nice.”

Sparrow: “Of course the lady who still dresses goth every day even though she's pushing 40 would have that be the takeaway here.”

Ash: “I know what I'm about.”

Trixie: “That still seems like a bit of a reach though.”

Billie: “I’ll reiterate. This is a conspiracy theory being made up for fun. It's going to be full of reaches.”

Trixie: “No I mean, Barbra is absolutely crazy for that girl. Like remember that one time? (comic about bob drowning his sorrows in liquor because caprica had to go to a doctors appointment and he couldn't come along.) Trixie: “It just seems disproportionate to fall that hard after a life of murder and cannibalism, to Caprica of all people.”

Sparrow: “You literally just said a few minutes ago if you were in Barbara's position getting your life saved, they wouldn't be able to get rid of you if they tried.”

Trixie: “What, am I suddenly not allowed to embellish a little? But I mean, come on, haven't you seen the two of them enough? Heck, starting out I was more worried that Caprica was like… like she didn't even want to be in a relationship?”

Ash: “I always got the opposite impression personally, like she was taking advantage of Barbra. She's always acting so mean to her. Like with us she's at least trying to be polite, but not so much with Barb. I've been trying to keep an eye for any other red flags like that, but Barbra’s never seemed to mind soooo….”

Greta: “Hey now, let's not start implying Caprica is abusive. It's clear she's done a lot for Barbra, however begrudgingly. Even coming to the bar all these times. It's clear Caprica isn't doing it because she enjoys clubbing. Barbara's always been the one having the most fun.”

Roxy: “Yeah, let's not have this get out of hand with all these accusations.”

Mary: “And more importantly, I want better feedback on my theory! I mean of all the reasons why it could be wrong, I'd hope for better than something like “Barbra is acting way too crazy to have POSSIBLY been a deranged cannibal serial killer.”

Sparrow: “That Barbra is a certified freak 7 days a week and I love that for her.”

Roxy: “Forget about Barbra, I still don't like the thought that some cannibal serial killer has come over from that town with all the spooky shit going on and is around here terrorizing people!”

Billie: “Once again, she's not following the evidence, she's inventing a ghost story and then finding scary evidence to support the narrative while leaving out any conflicting evidence or context. If it were genuinely something to worry about, this wouldn't be your first time hearing about it.”

Trixie: “Plus it can’t actually be the cannibal serial killer guy, he's super dead.”

Mary-Anne, with a bit of a mischievous tone as she leaned in back to her presentation: “.....You know, I actually found some cell phone video of the guy getting run over I can show everyone.”

To which Billie the bouncer stood up sharply and said: “Nope. Putting my foot down. New rule. No snuff films in the bar.”

Before closing the lid of the laptop.

Mary: “Awwww what? No!”

Trixie: “Killjoy.”

Ash, clearly sarcastic and kidding around: “Yeah, no watching the brutal deaths of serial killers in a bar? What are you, homophobic or something?”

Mary: “It's actually a pretty funny video without much gore or anything. The guy gets run over by a car like 4 times in a row. Like a loony toons character.”

Billie: “I don't care how funny it is, that's the sort of stuff that can get the business in trouble.”

Roxy: “But can't we make an exception this time? I'd feel a lot better for sure knowing that guy is dead.”

Billie replies as she straightens out her pants and shirt: “It's almost time for me to start my shift, so might be best to just call it quits here.”

Mary-Anne went back to the laptop to scroll through the list of images she'd gathered for people either missing or dead.

Mary: “Awww, but I didn't even get a chance to go through the list of victims yet.”

Greta: “No, she's right. I think we've seen enough. I doubt this is anything we should be letting Barbra see. Let's just stop here before…”

Sparrow: “Wait. Scroll back up.”

Mary-Anne did as asked, scrolling a bit up again and upon seeing it Sparrows eyes got wide, and she covered her mouth in shock. Prompting a few of the others to look as well. Getting a similar look of surprise.

Ash: “Oh, wow.”

Mary: “What? What is it?”

Ash: “You weren't there that day. So you wouldn't know. But that one?”

She points at a certain picture of a man on the screen.

Ash: “That's one of the guys who grabbed Caprica that day.”

The silence hangs in the air for a moment.

Mary: “This guy?”

Ash: “Yep.”

Trixie: “Okay that's spooky. But one guy going missing is a coincidence at best. Especially the kind of guy who'd behave like he and that other jerk did. I bet he's asking for a fight everywhere he goes. So let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe if they both went missing that might be a…”

Mary: “Well let's see! What did the other one look like?”

She said with a bit of excitement, scrolling through the rest of her list of missing persons.

Billie:“.... He looked like that.”

Mary: “Huh?”

Billie stepped over, and used the laptop trackpad to scroll a bit upwards, then pointed at a specific picture in the list of missing persons. The picture of the second guy who had tried to hit on Caprica that night.

Mary: “Thats him.”

The air hung still for a moment, the weight of the realization sinking in. Trixie Being the first to break the silence with,

Trixie: “..... Well shit, Barbra and Caprica might actually be some kind of serial killers.”

Another moment of silence, until

Ash: “.....Good for them.” The humor of the response breaking the tension with an indignant, though slightly giggly response of Sparrow: “Ash! Oh my god!”

Ash: “What? Am I supposed to be upset that a pair of creeps who snuck into a gay bar and try to sexually harass the shortest lesbian they could find in the club, and right in front of her girlfriend no less, have gone missing? Good riddance if you ask me.”

Sparrow looked between the women nervously before her gaze settled on Billie: “For real though, should we… call someone about this?” Mary: “What happened to helping bury the bodies?”

Trixie: “Would probably be burying Barbra if you sent the police after her.”

Sparrow: “What?” Trixie: “Seriously, what the fuck do you think would happen if we called up the police and told them that a lesbian trans woman MIGHT be involved in the disappearance of two men? And not only that, but that we’re suspicious of her being involved in their disappearance because she got into a fight with these two dudes when they tried to “correct a woman from the deviancy of homosexuality”. You might as well be broadcasting “Hey dudes! Free target practice over here! Feel free to shoot this woman as many times as you want, because no jury is going to condemn you for murdering a butch trans woman!” to almost every trigger happy misogynist dirtbag in town.” Greta: “I knew this was going to be a mistake….”

Billie let off a sigh: “Trixie is right. We could easily be putting Barbra’s life at risk based on a coincidence she had nothing to do with. Whereas it would be a roll of the dice if it even mattered to law enforcement if she were actually guilty or not.”

Sparrow: “....I guess you’re right.”

Roxy: “Man I told y'all this was gonna be a bad idea. Now yall are speculating about turning Barbra over to the police. But you know what? I’m with Ash on this one! Even though Mary-Anne’s been trying to freak us all out trying to link all these murders to Barbra, the only real evidence we have is that two wannabe date rapists who happened to get into a fight with Barbra have now gone missin. And even if Barb and Caprica did off those two, then good on em for actually being proactive in getting rid of creeps like that. Long as they’re sticking to cleaning up trash like that, and aren’t going after any of the people I care about or who have the good sense to just be minding their own business, then I couldn't give less of a shit.” Trixie: “I hope Barbra and Caprica did kill those pigs though. Fuck the cops, I wish more of them had been killed.”

Greta: “.....I think it might be best for everyone if we just change the subject and forget the whole thing.”

Mary: “........Do you think maybe Barbra and Caprica might have room for one more in their relationship though?” Sparrow, through laughter: “OH MY GOD!” Ash, also trying to stifle a chuckle: “Dude, don’t go trying to be some couple’s third wheel just because you think they might be serial killers.”

Trixie: “Yeah, what if they say yes and then you find out they’re actually super boring and you just end up being disappointed?” Mary: “A girl can dream can’t she?” Roxy, clearly not taking it seriously: “I’d be more worried about you thinking the worst case scenario here would be them NOT being serial killers.” They continue chatting for awhile about various things before eventually going their separate ways, having all agreed not to tell Barbra or Caprica about this conversation. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita because I asked my friend to not name his kid the same name as my abusive dad because it triggers me?

✨👶🏼 so I notice myself, sorry but I have a mental disability so my grammar isn't great. Sorry if I sound weird.

So let's just call my friend Fred (23,he/him, trans man)and I'll call my dad's name Sven. Fred has one other child(1,m) who I'll call Winston and Fred's newest child (Unborn lol, we know its another boy) is with one of his partners Brooke(22, They/She, transfem nb girl). I also offhandedly mention my partner Rosey(25, Any pronouns, Genderfluid) a few times, Fred's other partner Alan (20s?, He/him, Trans man), and lastly Me (24, He/she, Genderfluid).

Me and Fred have been bffs for like 7 or 8 years and I and Rosey are godparents to Winston and Fred got pregnant again. This time from one of his partners Brooke , Winston's other dad isnt in the picture. Me and Fred are super close (nearly dated at one point but it was before Fred and Brooke got together the first time and we are no longer interested in each other like that.) and I've been following both of Fred's pregnancies just to make sure everything is ok (I'm not encroaching, I just get text updates on appointments and stuff. Fred's first pregnancy was rough.).

Without going into a whole timeline, Fred and Brooke dated a couple years ago for about a year but Brooke raised a hand to hit Fred (never made contact nor any other physical abuse however they used it as a threat) and was controlling over him, they broke up and lost contact and over the last year/year and a half, rekindled and Brooke says they've changed and Fred trusts them again. I still don't like Brooke for obvious reasons but I'm being civil and trying to let them earn my trust again. So far their relationship is fine and it's not my place to muddle so until Fred sets off alarms that Brooke has gone back to their old ways, I'm trusting my friend's judgement. Brooke has been doing great through this pregnancy.

Fred knows the gest about what my dad put me through and how abusive he was to me. He knows I can't even be near cigarette smoke because it reminds me of him. However, Fred doesn't know his name. It's not because Fred doesn't want to, my dad's name just never came up and i didnt realize he didnt know his name till a few hours ago.

Me and Rosey sat in a call with Fred, Brooke and Alan while Fred and Brooke were brainstorming name ideas (They wanted our input). Brooke suggested the name Sven. I wanna be clear, Brooke doesn't know my dad's name either so I don't think this was a way of attacking me or something sinister. The name Sven is standing in for is a very common name in my country, though it's not popular for us gen Zers, it is common for my dad's generation.

I obviously froze up a bit due to the mention of his name and although Rosey tried to bring it up, Fred and his partners are kinda known for interrupting (Usually not viciously) and they didn't hear her. Fred and Brooke chatted happily about what a handsome name Sven was and how they might just decide to stick with it here and now but they wanted to hear other options. I waited out till the end of the call when Alan left (I don't know them so I didn't want to accidentally tell them personal things about my history of abuse) and told Fred that Sven was my dad's name.

Fred gasped and quickly said he wouldn't choose Sven and that he was sorry he forgot his name. Brooke however said that that was not a good enough reason to not consider a name they both dearly loved not 10 seconds ago. I tried to tell Brooke about why my dad was a bad person and some of the lighter things he'd done (not in a trauma dump explicit way, just in a he did *insert form of abuse* way) but they shut me down and said it was their kid to decide the name of. Fred told him he was also a vote in the name and he didn't want to upset me unnecessarily. Brooke said they were done with the conversation and Fred said they'd talk about it later. Fred then said to me and Rosey that he'd handle it and ended the call.

After about 30 mins, I got a couple of texts from Brooke and Alan that I was a jerk for trying to push my triggers onto other people and causing a fight between them and Fred and it wasn't my baby to name. (Alan doesn't live with Brooke and Fred so Brooke told Alan first what happened.) I decided not to answer for an hour or so because I was already worked up and they both essentially called me an asshole for overstepping. Fred just says hes gonna handle them but now I'm just confused.

I can see where I might of overstepped but I wasn't trying to be controlling and even if they would of picked Sven, i would of still respected it and tried my best to get over it as best i can. Was I pushing my problems on others or was I just letting a friend know what that name might be a bit painful for me when the name was just a suggestion? I don't think I'm TA but I wanna see if I'm missing something?

(I just realized rereading this that there is some important context to be added; Sven is not a sentimental name to Fred, Brooke or Alan. It's not a parents or grandparents name that might need carried on, it was just a name they liked. I checked with Fred to see if that explained Brooke's anger or something and Fred said no, they just liked Sven. There also hasn't been any hostility before this with Brooke or Alan so I'm not sure where all this anger came from.)

What are these acronyms?

[butchbarneygumble]

Imagine how I must feel as one of the only fans of Mighty Magiswords. You know. A headcanons-and-fanfic kind of fan. I even cosplayed Prohyas once.

Of course, it's nothing compared to what the actual victims went through... I'm fine. But it still felt like a part of my identity has been permanently soured. I don't want to seem like I somehow have it worse, that's not my intention. Nothing bad happened to me personally. I'm only posting my own side of how I deal with the situation, to get some closure myself and show solidarity with the victims.

I don't admire him anymore, and that's putting it lightly.

Full story under cut. Content warning for non-graphic discussion of csa.

The news came to me from my ex-but-still-friend. He told me privately, out of nowhere, just dropped it on me. Like, "Hey, sorry to tell you, but the guy you like got arrested for csa". However, I am glad he told me rather than me having to find out on my own.

The news hit me, and I felt nothing in my body. I usually would get this painful fight-or-flight all through my body whenever I read something that upset me, something I've been training myself to get better with. But right now? I just felt like... "huh. That happened." It helped a lot that Magiswords wasn't my fixation of the moment. And like... it's been like I've been slipping away from it. Like I didn't need it anymore.

More and more people were talking about him, and it wasn't positive. Who? Kyle.

I talked to him. Personally, like many people did. He never acted weird to me. I admired him. I loved his art, sent him physical fanart, all that stuff. I knew more than one person said he was not trustworthy but hey, he made a show that saved my life, so it was a constant struggle between feeling like I had to pick sides. I was going through hell by virtue of my dad being terminally sick and needing constant care, so I was gonna ignore the red flags and enjoy my silly sword show that brought me such joy.

Even if as time went on it started get harder and harder.

But you know what a certain depressed horse show said? When you're wearing rose coloured glasses, red flags just look like flags.

I now think dodged a bullet.

What emotions do I feel? Betrayal. Anger. Disgust. Disappointment.

The irony about it all. The sheer painful irony of blacklisting somebody for *drawings*, and then going behind everybody's back to actually hoard *actual* csa, and revenge porn, and all sorts of nasty stuff. For the record: there is nothing wrong with being put off or disgusted by specific sorts of drawings. But the irony here is what's most painful to me. I do not like people using this as a "gotcha" for either side of this tired argument. It's disrespectful to the actual victims.

People say I can easily seperate art from the artist if I want to but... right now I don't think I want to. He's in every pore of its identity. I do not want to talk or think about Magiswords right now, and I don't know if I ever will again.

It meant so much to me. Prohyas felt like Me. Being a goofy capable adult who doesn't stop collecting things he likes just cuz he's an adult. I thought I was trans for a while and the euphoria of relating to Prohyas helped that. Then he got lowkey confirmed nonbinary and I was over the moon.

It was good. Emphasis on "was".

And to the man himself I have one thing to say: you're another one in a long history of cartoon artists who end up being unsavoury, slimy people, taking advantage of young people, especially girls, in the animation industry. Not something to be proud of. I know we talked and you seemed perfectly okay to me, personally. All I can think is thank god it never went beyond casual chats.

I guess I can finally say I never liked the joke about Vambre not liking pants. Sure, sensory issues exist, but I doubt that was the intention of the design. I have deleted my sideblog where I chronicled ooc screencaps of the show and deleted my little spotify playlist of songs that reminded me of the show. I don't want to finish my longfic where Prohyas and Flonk fell in love anymore. I can't even change it into ocs because it's just so ingrained in the show's lore. So yeah, there's that.

I'll be fine. When the news hit I took it surprisingly well. I was going to an Alestorm concert and it was the most fun I had in ages. So yeah, I've got Christopher Bowes and His Plate of Beans to fill the void of comedy music. Was fixating on Simpsons already so there's that in terms of cartoons. I'm fine.

All I can say is my heart goes out to all the victims, and I'm deeply sorry I didn't see you sooner. I hope you can heal and have some semblance of closure now that he's gotten arrested. My heart goes out to all of you and again, I am so so sorry. I wish you all the love and healing.