#Causes of Female Baldness
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Hair Loss: Unlocking the Secrets of Heredity and Baldness Pattern
Overview of Hair Loss Hair loss is a condition that affects millions of people across the world, causing distress and concern. It occurs when hair follicles gradually shrink, resulting in the thinning and shortening of hair strands. Hair loss can have a significant impact on individuals, both emotionally and psychologically, as they navigate the challenges it presents. Rest assured, you’re not…
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#Baldness Stages#Baldness Treatments#Causes of Female Baldness#Causes of Male Baldness#Common Causes of Hair Loss#Femele Baldness Pattern#Genetic Hair Loss#Hair Fall Causes#hair loss#Heredity and Hair Loss#How to Prevent Hair Loss#Men Baldness Pattern#Types of Hair Loss
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Steddie x female!reader thought 18+ only
Eddie blinks his eyes a couple of times to make sure he is actually seeing what he is seeing. He must be living in a nightmare.
You're laying back on one of the pool loungers. One leg dangling over the edge keeping your foot on the warm cement ground, the other spread over Steve's lap as he absently rubs his hand up and down it while he bitches to you about something from work. Your hand rubs up and down Steve's back in comfort. But that isn't the nightmare.
Your bright red bikini bottoms covering enough, but with your legs spread a bit more skin is shown then intended. Spread in such a way that makes Eddie want to just dive in. Get on his knees and worship you, rub his face over your mound as he licks and nips and sucks. Moan as the curly thatch of hair brushes against his face.
Except the curls of hair he is expecting to see peeking around your bikini are gone. Just smooth bare skin. And that isn't the only nightmare. Steve's chest is smooth like when he was in school on the swim team. Not a speck of that beautiful chest hair Eddie would curl into after getting hot and heavy. Not a single curl of the "love rug" he jokingly called it.
Eddie wants to weep. To throw himself down like a little kid and thrash his arms and legs around. Yeah, it's your body and you can do what you want, but he still is sad its gone. Eddie doesn't like change, and suddenly walking in to see both of his partners change something without any warning? Uncomfortable. It makes Eddie feel itchy.
Eddie can barely speak as he walks over and sits next to Steve. He doesn't respond to Steve's warm greeting. Doesn't respond to you asking how the day is. Just stares with big wet eyes at the sight in front of him. A pout on his lips.
A warm hand lands on his shoulder, gently squeezing. Steve's brow furrowed in concern, your wide eyes blinking at him.
"Shaved?" Eddie asks in a quiet voice, eyes darting to Steve's chest and then your clothed pussy. Steve lets out a huff of laughter, "Fuck, thought something was wrong man." Eddie glares," It is."
#Robin wanted to try waxing her legs but was scared it would hurt so Steve was the test subject#Steve then didn't like the random bald spot so he got rid of the rest#The leftover wax you were like huh wonder what that feels like and maybe the tequila didn't help#Well it did cause you were out of it#Eddie is sitting there with the biggest wettest eyes whimpering and shaking like a chihuahua#Just absolutely pathetic and sad#Of course getting kissed makes him feel a BIT better but he's still upset (also why wasn't HE invited to this event huh maybe HE would have#Liked to be the one to inflict pain- no he has to stop he needs to be SAD not HORN-)#Eddie isn't going to deny you making it up to him though...getting to just lay back and get some smooches?#Maybe just don't spring sudden change on him again#Or maybe do as long as Steve and you come kiss him like this and take care of him like this#He's boneless and melting into the bed and how did he get inside his brain is gone#Anyways I was given wax and did one strip on my leg and chickened out#So that's what created this thanks ok#Maybe I'll write a full fic idk#Jade is Talking#Steddie x reader#Steve Harrington x reader x Eddie Munson#Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson x Reader#Female!reader#Steddie x Female!reader#Steddie/female!reader#Steddie/reader
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Idk who needs to hear this, I know I do, but if you have a coochie and are Non-binary. You are not a woman. You are not just an confused girl or woman adjacent. You don’t owe any one gender ambiguity or neutrality. Your tits and hips do not make you less non-binary. You are non-binary not a woman. And if women try to push you into their spaces or treat you like just one of the girls tell those bitches to get back to the kitchen because you are not one of their “girlies”
#shit has been pissing me off lately#oh we’re doing she and they night 🤪 cause that basically the same thing anyways 🤪#we’re so inclusive 🤪#ok I’m gonna make you wish there was a cis man there to protect you from me#and what if a non-binary person that has a beard and is balding rolls up?#do you still want non-binary people in your space???#or do you just see female non-binary people as women???#makes me feel so dysphoric#nonbinary#gender dysphoria#gender queer#trans nonbinary#not bg3
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genuinely think I'm perimenopausal lol
#the 2-day period should've tipped me off but I though maybe I was god's new favourite#but I'm shedding hair like crazy now like#am I going bald?? wtf#I should probably see a doctor I think but I don't want to#cause I feel like a gp would just go “oh well pesky female hormones. what can you do”#but I mean yeah I should call or do whatever the hell you need to do to get an appointment these days#*#personal
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28 Hair Loss Tips - How To Prevent Hair Thinning & Encourage Hair Growth A hair loss guide on ways to reduce and reverse excessive hair fall and balding with tips on how to prevent and stop hair loss and encourage hair growth. https://www.soovy.club/blog/hair-loss-tips-how-to-prevent-hair-thinning-encourage-hair-growth
#Hair loss prevention#Hair growth tips#Hair loss treatment#hair#Hair thinning remedies#Balding solutions#Natural hair growth#Hair loss causes#Hair care tips#Female hair loss#Male pattern baldness#Scalp health#beauty#beauty blog#beauty tips#hair care#hair tips
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thursdays are the best, like i do so much stuff on thursdays like i have like 2 fun things to do + biweekly its more fun than like every other day, and then the next day is friday !! i also got to switch seats with someone else soo i got to sit next to someone i lowkey have a crush on (hes opps wit all my friends so like not really)
#thursdays#day b4 friday est un best day#pizza pockets#i didnt eat lunch today but like i will eat it later#also during gym we started our gymnastics unit and grippies were out#also i learnt some of my friends cant do a handstand#or a cartwheel#and i HATE bald people#jeff bezos lookin ass mfs#anyway im truly a sigma#female skibidi#crismus#also 2 of my classmates get to miss out on an entire french unit#cuz theyre JW's and dont celebrate christmas#but here the thing one of the kids are only missing out on the french unit cause i told him#anyway im a yapper no sigma
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#1. General Hair Loss Keywords#Hair loss treatment#Hair loss solutions#How to stop hair loss#Hair loss causes#Hair thinning treatment#Hair loss remedies#Prevent hair loss#Best treatment for hair loss#Hair loss prevention#Hair regrowth products#2. Types of Hair Loss#Male pattern baldness#Female hair loss#Thinning hair in women#Alopecia areata#Androgenic alopecia#Telogen effluvium#Scalp hair loss#Receding hairline#Patchy hair loss#Hair shedding#3. Hair Loss Treatments#Hair restoration#Minoxidil for hair loss#Finasteride for hair loss#Platelet-rich plasma (PRP) therapy#Hair transplant surgery#Stem cell hair treatment#Natural remedies for hair loss
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#Which hormone causes hair loss in females#How to regrow thinning hair female#Which vitamin deficiency causes hair loss#Female pattern baldness in 20s.
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Androgenetic Alopecia: Understanding Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments
Decoding Androgenetic Alopecia: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments Androgenetic Alopecia, commonly referred to as male or female pattern baldness, is a prevalent form of hair loss that affects millions worldwide. Understanding its underlying causes, recognizing symptoms, and exploring treatment options are crucial for individuals grappling with this condition. Unveiling the Root…
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#alopecia treatment#Androgenetic Alopecia#Causes & Symptoms#female pattern baldness#hair loss#male pattern baldness
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Literally got some dishonest bullshit about testosterone and tumblr is saying its based on my likes???? What the fuck.
#it decided to present data about people with PCOS#and conflate it with testosterone#i have pcos and i can say right now#the androgens and testosterone in my body are not whats causing my dysphoria#its the fact that my period comes in rich with estrogen#its the imbalance#my gynecologist told me that it was mainly an imbalance in hormones#which makes sense in the little research I read on trans males with pcos#that testosterone changes the ovaries differently than PCOS#cysts dont present with testosterone alone#testosterone changes the texture of the ovaries#but cysts DO NOT form#also literally when you look it up risks can go up and down but more dependent on other factors#like FAMILY HISTORY#so like if your dad had heart problems and thats triggered by testosterone#then yeah you’ll get it too#same with fucking balding!#shits dependent on your genes#that stupid paper pruported that the female body can’t handle testosterone#which is wrong because its just the level of testosterone that changes your presentation#and also implies that estrogen is bad for trans women#which evidence proves that there are a lot of health improvements associated with trans women taking estrogen!#so like#fuck off with that le female too frail for testosterone#men are not a separate species#barring from the fact that the effects of gender dysphoria and no acceptance is WORSE than the outcomes associated with testosterone use
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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Low Iron and Hair Loss - Symptom, Causes and Treatments
Iron deficiency anemia is the most common form of anemia, which occurs when there is not enough mineral iron in your body. Iron is needed to generate hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to the tissues of your body1. Hair is a fast-proliferating organ with a high blood supply requirement. The length and size of the hair depend on the hair cycle anagen, growth stage. At the center of these systems,…
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#anemia and hair loss#anemia cause hair loss#anemia hair loss#hair loss with anemia#iron deficiency and hair loss#iron deficiency hair loss early stage female pattern baldness#low iron and hair loss
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Give in to the Midnight Grind
Milo could hear the thumbing bass from inside his patrol car, as he parked in front of the seedy club. It was hardly the first time the neighbors complained about the excessive noise, but it was the first time for Milo to be sent here, and also his first time going alone.
Usually, young officers like Milo - or Miles Dawson, as it read on his uniform - didn't go anywhere alone, but as it happened, his designated partner for the evening had called in sick. Milo had volunteered to go by himself, since he wanted to prove that he could be trusted to go solo. And, asking a club to turn down the music was hardly a dangerous task.
He checked his uniform again in the patrol car's rear mirror and adjusted his collar one final time. It was important to look professional, after all.
Once he was satisfied with the result, Milo exited the car and locked it before approaching the club entrance.
"The Midnight Grind" was hardly one of the most prestigious clubs in town, and the rundown facade certainly didn't do it any favors. However, that didn't seem to stop the long line of people wanting to enter. The long line of men, Milo corrected himself. Either the nightclub was very bad at attracting female customers or it was a gay club. Considering the provocative name and the leather-clad bouncer, Milo strongly suspected the latter.
Of course, gay nightclubs weren't illegal, and Milo didn't plan on causing any trouble. It was a bit uncomfortable for him, since he was straight, but then again, Milo wasn't here to party, he was only here to tell them to keep the volume down.
When he approached the bouncer, he put on his most winning smile and nodded to the burly bald man with the many tattoos.
"Good evening, Sir. I would like to speak to the management of this establishment."
The bouncer shot him a scrutinizing look and then looked back to his patrol car. Milo had expected his uniform to be enough proof for his official capacity, but perhaps, it wasn't entirely unusual for patrons to show up in a similar outfit.
"Badge." The bouncer grumbled in a voice so deep that it sounded like rocks grinding against each other.
"Oh, of course. One second."
Milo was a bit embarrassed that he hadn't thought of showing his ID earlier and brought out his official badge, still shiny and new. He showed it to the bouncer, who studied it carefully, before nodding and stepping aside, mumbling something into his radio.
"They will send someone to the entrance. Wait here."
"Thank you, sir."
Milo felt uneasy due to the looks of the men waiting in line, but none of them seemed to be particularly hostile, so Milo just smiled politely. A few of the men even seemed to check him out and one or two even winked, which Milo chose to ignore.
Finally, after several awkward minutes, another guy came out. This one was a bit younger, but also dressed in a skintight leather harness, a pair of tight jeans and combat boots. Milo's eyes wandered across his exposed skin, the tattooed chest and the piercings, but the guy didn't seem to notice and smiled widely.
"Officer? My name is Adam. The boss will see you now. Follow me."
Milo felt relief wash over him and was grateful that he could finally escape the hungry looks of the people in the queue, as he followed the young man.
Inside, the music was even louder, and Milo found himself surrounded by half-naked bodies, dancing, drinking and occasionally even making out. It was a bit of an uncomfortable sight for him, but at least the music drowned out any moaning or panting. Still, Milo considered it the best idea to just look straight ahead, avoiding any eye contact.
Adam led him to a set of stairs that went up and to a small balcony overlooking the dance floor. There, a muscular man with a neatly trimmed beard, a full sleeve tattoo and a tight black shirt was sitting on a comfortable looking sofa, smoking a cigar. His legs were spread wide, and he was clearly wearing a pair of skin-tight leather pants that did a very bad job of hiding his bulge. Well, they probably weren't designed to *hide* anything.
Adam said something, but Milo couldn't understand what was being said, so Adam repeated himself.
"The boss will see you now, Officer."
The "boss" regarded Milo from head to toe, which didn't help him feel more comfortable. To escape the situation, Milo began to speak, loud enough to be heard over the blaring and thumbing music.
"Good evening, Sir. I am Milo - I mean, Miles Dawson, Officer, actually, from the city police force and..."
Damn, he needed more routine for that, Milo thought as he stumbled over his words, but the muscular man cut him off.
"It's okay, Officer Milo. Sit down."
Milo didn't feel too comfortable being addressed by his nickname, especially not by this man, but at least he called him 'officer'. Milo gladly sat down opposite of the other man, who took another drag of his cigar.
"Thank you. What is your name, Sir?"
"You can call me 'boss'. Everyone does."
That of course wasn't according to protocol, but again, Milo didn't want to cause any trouble. In his opinion, the police were there to be as kind and helpful as possible, servants of the public more than anything else.
"Alright, Mr. ...Boss. I am here on behalf of the city police because..."
"Would you like something to drink?"
The boss asked and blew a cloud of smoke right into Milo's face, who tried to avoid breathing in the thick smoke and coughing.
"Uhm, no, thank you. I'm on duty."
"A little bit of alcohol won't hurt you, officer. But have it your way. A virgin cocktail, then?"
Again, Milo didn't want to be rude and simply nodded, smiling. If there was no alcohol involved, it wasn't against the rules.
The boss snapped his fingers, and a half-naked waiter came with a large and colorful drink, putting it down in front of Milo. The straw was formed like an erect penis. Of course. But under no circumstances, Milo wanted to come off as homophobic, so he took a small sip from the obscene straw before clearing his voice.
"Anyway, as I said, the city police were contacted by the neighbors because the music here is very loud. Now, I'm not trying to cause any trouble. We all know how it is when you have a party and have some fun, but I have to ask you to tone it just a bit."
Surprisingly enough, the boss nodded.
"I understand, Officer. Of course, we don't want to cause trouble either. I guess we got carried away a bit, some music is best enjoyed loudly. But whom am I telling that? I see you found a liking to the music as well."
Milo followed his gaze to his own leg and was surprised to see it bobbing to the rhythm. When did that happen? He didn't remember deciding to do that.
"Ah, yes, it's very catchy."
Embarrassed by his lack of control, he took another big sip from the sweet drink.
"Isn't it? But as it happens, we might have to close early today, anyway."
"Why is that?", Milo asked, before he could stop himself.
The boss shrugged his shoulder. "We're short staffed. The flu. Our stripper for today called in sick."
Milo's gaze wandered over the dancing crowd and stopped at the exclusively male dancers in the cages slightly above the dance floor, moving their sweaty bodies to the beat of the music while wearing only skimpy glittering underwear.
"Do you like what you see?" asked the boss, as he took another drag from his cigar.
"What? Oh, no, haha. I mean, sure, you have a great establam... a great club."
Damn, Milo's thoughts felt like they were moving through cotton candy, probably because of the bad air in here. A bit of ventila... a few fans wouldn't hurt, especially since the boss was still smoking his cigar.
"I see, I'm just asking because of your massive boner." The boss said casually.
Milo looked down, and indeed, a prominent tent was visible in his trousers, stretching the fabric uncomfortably.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I... I have no idea how that happened."
"Relax Milo. I'm not judging. If you like the show, feel free to watch some more."
The voice of the boss sounded reassuring, and Milo took another sip, as his eyes returned to the dancers. They did look pretty hot, he had to admit, and for a moment or two, Milo let his mind wander. What would it be like to dance on a pole like that? To show his body, to flaunt his muscles and to show off his cock and his ass, to grind on a pole like he was riding a dick...
Wait, what was he thinking? He wasn't like that at all! He wasn't a dancer, and he wasn't gay. He wiped the sweat from his brow.
"Are you alright, Milo?" asked the boss, still with a smirk on his face and the cigar in his mouth.
"If you feel uncomfortable, you can take off that jacket of yours, if you like."
Something about this felt wrong, but the boss was right. It was awfully hot. So, he took off his jacket, which helped a bit. Still, his mouth felt dry, so he drank some more cocktail.
"You should also loosen that tie. Don't want you to feel constrained."
Again, Milo did as the boss suggested, feeling more comfortable with every step of the process. The tie had really been a bit too tight. He was just about to unbutton his shirt, when the boss interrupted.
"Wait a moment, man. Finish your drink and follow me."
"Where to?", Milo asked, but the boss was already getting up and walking towards the other end of the balcony, to a door.
"Just relax. You are going to like it."
The boss was right, Milo was thinking too much. And thinking was hard, even harder than his cock was right now. Milo finished his cocktail and got up. The bulge was very prominent in his pants, bigger than Milo ever remembered seeing. For a moment, he looked for a way to hide it, but since nothing came to his foggy mind and the boss was already waiting for him, Milo decided not to care. After all, most of the guys in this club were probably hard, down on the dance floor.
The door led to a small stairway, going down and a narrow corridor after that. Milo had to duck when passing the doorframe, which confused him even more, but he couldn't really tell why. The music was even louder here, and the boss stopped in front of a glittering curtain.
"There, you can take your shirt off out there." He said and gave Milo a thumbs up.
Out there? Confused, Milo stumbled through the curtain into a sea of bright light. For a moment, the music stopped, and Milo was able to hear the voice of the boss coming from all the speakers.
"Give a warm welcome to tonight's star! Here is Macho Dawgson for you, "The Meat" himself. And there's a reason he is called that way..."
After that, a new, driving beat set in and the confusion in Macho's head cleared somewhat. What was he doing again...? Right, he wanted to get out of his shirt.
The uniform shirt was awfully tight, as Macho unbuttoned one button after the other. His body was still moving to the beat, beyond his control, but he didn't mind.
Finally, the shirt came off, and Macho twirled it around his finger for a while before throwing it into the bright light, where cheering sounds reacted to it.
For a split second, Macho looked down on himself. Was that really him? He was way fitter than he used to be, like he visited the gym regularly.
But why did that surprise him, really? He basically lived in the gym, all paid for by the boss. Again, the confusion cleared up some more and Macho started moving to the beat again, thrusting his hips and flaunting his muscles.
The crowd cheered. Of course they did. Macho could hardly keep himself from snorting. He was their fucking god, their idol, the perfect specimen of a man, and they knew it. All those fat, or skinny or otherwise pathetic dudes down there worshipped him, and they better should.
The music got faster and louder, and the dancing crowd was cheering and whistling. Macho felt their hungry eyes on his body, his abs, his pecs, his arms, his crotch. Yeah, there was a reason why they called him "The meat", and that reason was bulging out his uniform pants proudly. But before he got to the main course, he wanted to tease those losers some more.
Macho turned around and let his impressive back muscles work. Of course, he knew that his ass also was a sight to behold, but it was just for teasing. Macho was, of course, a top through and through. After the show, he would be surrounded by willing cocksuckers, who offered every hole in their bodies, begging to be bred, and Macho would make sure three or four of them got their reward tonight.
He ripped open the zipper and wiggled his ass until the pants were hanging low on his hips, and the tight underwear underneath revealed his ass crack. Yeah, Macho knew what he was doing. That's what he lived for: Gym, sex and dancing. He was a god, and he fucking knew it.
Time for the finale. Macho swirled around again and, with a strong motion, ripped off the fake police pants, revealing his stuffed-to-the-brim underwear that shadowed every other man's equipment. Other strippers often wore prosthetics to look bigger, but Macho didn't need that. The bulge in his shorts highlighted his dick and balls in a way that promised only one thing: Size.
The crowd went wild, and the music reached a climax. With a final roar, Macho pulled on his underwear now, ripping it apart and letting his giant meat spring free, enjoying the admiration and jealousy that branded against the stage.
Fuck yeah. Macho loved his job.
If you enjoyed the story and want to support my writing, check out my tip jar! There are also a few more versions of Miles/Macho!
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i remember when i went to the dermatologist she saw i was taking testosterone and I went ahead and explained I was transgender and she was like "Are there different pronouns I should be using? Do you have a different name I should use?" And i said no no, it's okay. (I don't like to do it with doctors because it only ever causes trouble). But she was very insistent about it and kept trying to sort-of convince me it'd be fine for her to switch over and I kept still saying "no its alright".
only for her at the end to be like "well you might have female pattern baldness"
and suddenly it felt like we had been setting up for that punchline for the first 10 minutes.
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A SHARED HISTORY| S.VETTEL
Paring Sebastian Vettel x Fem!driver!reader
Summary; Moments that Sebastian Vettel and reader have had throughout their careers together both on and off track.
Warnings; None, fluff.
F1 Master List , Part 2 , Part 3
Sebastian and Y/N walked into the camera shot, sitting next to each other on the sofa, looking into the camera lens.
"We hereby announce our joint retirement at the end of the 2022 season" they spoke in unison.
📍Italian Grand Prix, 2008
"And Sebastian Vettel passes the checkered flag, taking his first ever win in formula one at the Italian Grand Prix!"
Y/N lifted herself out of her RedBull car after parking in the P2 slot, not wasting any time before running in the direction of her best friend who was getting hugs and pats from the Toro Rosso team.
She jumped into his arms just as he turned around causing him to let out an "Oof!" as he stumbled back into the barriers from the sudden surprise attack.
"I'm so proud of you, Seb! I wouldn't want to come second to anyone else!" Sebastian closed his eyes at her words before tightening his arms around her and lifted her feet from the ground, spinning her around and laughing happily.
"Sebastian, you're going to be joining Y/N at RedBull next year. What do you think she's going to be like as a teammate?"
Sebastian's face upturned into a smile at the mention of Y/N's name, to say he was looking forward to being teammates next year was an understatement. He had a very good feeling about it.
He leant towards the microphone that the interviewer was holding "Well I think it will be great, I've known her for a long time and I'm happy to say I'm at the point where I understand what she's saying, it's taken a while to get used to her accent"
"...You just wait sunshine, you just wait... I just need those two cars... Rosberg P4.... Kubica P5.... DU BIST WELTMEISTER!"
Sebastian immediately started crying, he was world champion! "Thank you boys! Unbelievable! Unbelievable! Thank you, I love you"
"Let's not forget, mate. You are the youngest world champion in F1 history, you're allowed to cry mate, you're allowed to cry"
"Y/N L/N you are a formula one World Champion!!!!"
She couldn't believe what she was hearing through her head set as she flashed by the checkered flag, tears streamed down her face underneath her helmet as she raised her fist in victory whilst driving her cool down lap.
She had done it, she had actually gone and done it.
The first ever female formula one world champion!
"Sebastian Vettel you are a two time World Champion!"
"Sebastian Vettel, Three time World Champion!"
"Four time World Champion, Sebastian Vettel everyone!"
2014
Y/N screamed as Sebastian jumped out of the door of her motor home just as she was about to open it, the German himself fell to the floor in hysterical laughter at the look of horror he saw on her face.
"What the fuck, Sebastian!" She yelled, Seb got up and ran away still laughing knowing she'd be out for revenge
2014
Sebastian, Y/N, Fernando and Lewis sat down, strapping their microphones around their head for the press conference to begin.
"Okay, let's begin"
A tall male with balding hair stood up and introduced himself, then started "I want to start with Sebastian, both you and Y/N are leaving RedBull this year, you to Ferrari and Y/N to Mercedes. Do you think you'll be able to have as a good of a relationship with your new teammate as you've had with Y/N"
"You're trying to get me into trouble here" Sebastian laughed nervously, shifting under Y/N's expectant gaze.
"No uhm" he began to answer seriously "Y/N and I have known each other and raced together for years so it was easy to battle each other while also working together, it's important to get along with the person you spend so much time with and I'll be happy if I have half the relationship with Kimi as I do with Y/N"
Y/N smiled brightly "I'm just that great!" She joked causing Seb to roll his eyes.
"And Y/N, how do you feel about joining Lewis at Mercedes?"
Y/N shrugged "I'm excited to be hopefully moving up in my career, Mercedes feels like a right choice for me to continue progressing. Lewis is a great driver and hopefully an even better teammate. I'll enjoy racing beside him whilst battling against him"
Sebastian rested his forehead against Y/N's, closing his eyes as he relished in the comfort that their closeness brought him. "I love you, Schatz" he whispered, not even realising that the words had fallen from his lips until he felt her step away from him.
Y/N looked up at him, her mouth was gaped open, wondering if she had heard him right. She had. She looked into his eyes and could see every emotion as he looked at her and sure enough there was love, so much love as he looked at her. "I love you too, Seb" she told him, laughing at the utter joy that shot through his face.
Sebastian shook his head. She loved him.
She loved him!
"Y/N L/N you officially have two World Championship titles, what a star!"
"Y/N L/N, three time formula one World Champion!!"
Y/N leant her body back against Seb's chest, he stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist with his head resting against her shoulder. She was a three time world champion, that was now seven between them.
Between them they had matched Michael Schumacher. Now if that wasn't an accomplishment, what was?
Sebastian nuzzled his head against hers, she smelt so good. "Will you be mine?" He whispered in her ear, his lips curving into a soft smile as he felt her shiver.
She didn't answer for a while, continuing to look out at the ocean and for a moment Seb thought that she was going to say no, she shook her head and he felt his heart crack.
But she had a smile on her face. "I've been yours for years, Sebastian" she told him, surprised that he hadn't known that but he wasn't the most aware person she had ever met but she wouldn't change him for anything.
"Y/N L/N, four time formula one World Champion!!"
"The rear of the car was getting all loosey goosey in the last sector there"~Sebastian Vettel
"Y/N L/N, five time formula one World Champion!!"
"Y/N L/N, six time formula one World Champion!!"
Sebastian applauded as he looked up at podium with a look of pure pride on his face, that was his girlfriend up there that was making history, not only was she a six time world champion but she was the first ever woman to achieve a world championship title for the sport.
They had shared the track together for the entirety of their Formula One careers and he felt so lucky that he had been there to witness every one of her accomplishments as she had been there for him.
They had 10 world titles between the pair of them, the history of the sport meant so much to the couple and it was overwhelming knowing that they were now a part of it.
"Everybody's a Ferrari fan, even if they say they're not, they are a Ferrari fan" ~Sebastian Vettel
Sebastian looked up at the love of his life from his position knelt on the floor, this moment had been a long time coming but he had finally plucked up the courage to ask the most important question he would ever ask "Will you marry me, liebe?"
Y/N looked down at the man that owned her heart, there was no hesitation in her answer "Yes! Absolutely!" The tears that clouded her eyes had begun to drop down her cheeks.
Sebastian smiled brighter than ever at her answer, he lifted himself off the ground and took the diamond ring out of the velvet box, grabbing hold of her shaking hand and sliding the ring into her finger. He lifted her hand and pressed it to his lips before looking her in the eyes.
He had never been happier in this moment, no number of world titles would match the feeling of having her agree to spend forever with him.
Now he felt like a true champion.
"And the Vettel's are at it!" Crofty shouted as he spotted Y/N's Mercedes get up close to her husband's Ferrari, the battles between the two were something every Formula One fan looked forward too each season.
Sebastian grinned beneath his helmet as he eyed his wife's car through his mirrors. She loved to challenge him and he enjoyed the fight.
She tried to get the inside line going into the first corner but Seb managed to block her causing her to have to lock up, he went slightly wide on the second which left a gap that might be a little too small for most but she took the risk and ended up beside him on the straight.
Side by side they shot along but at the next corner. Y/N took the inside and had managed to pull away from him on the exit, successfully leaving Seb behind her.
He couldn't be mad, his wife did well, just as she always did.
HOT LAPS
Y/N got into the passenger seat of the Ferrari, her husband shutting the passenger door before making his way round to the drivers side.
She hadn't been told they were doing hot laps for Sky Sports, her PR Officer had suddenly sprung it on her but apparently Seb knew and was very excited about it.
Sebastian settled himself in behind the wheel smiling at the camera's before nudging his wife "Are you excited!?" He asked, a big smile on his face.
Y/N rolled her eyes "I'm so excited for you to kill us" her sarcasm was clear as day, she was only joking, they were both very good drivers and had 100% confidence in each other.
Sebastian's grin widened, he switched the car on after making sure Y/N had her belt on before slamming his foot down on the accelerator sending Y/N shooting back against her seat with a grunt. "Fuck me, a warning would've been nice" she huffed.
"You're meant to be asking me questions" Sebastian told her, trying not to laugh. He couldn't wait to watch this back and see her face.
Y/N picked up the cards she had in her hands as Seb skidded around a corner "Okay, What is it like to have a wife that is a better driver than you?" Her voice wavered from the movement to the car.
Sebastian scoffed "Come off it! That is not a question"
His wife laughed "It is, I mean I have the titles to prove it"
"Yeah and you never let me forget it, ask me a real question" Sebastian said, narrowly missing the track wall as he turned around another corner.
Y/N huffed, he was no fun "Okay fine, when are you going to get Instagram?" She read from the sheet.
"I'm not, I don't need it" he simply replied. Y/N sent him a cheeky smile "yeah that's because you use mine to do all of the stalking"
"Exactly" he replied, a smirk on his face. They both kept their home life private but they did share the rare photo of some of the activities they did away from racing.
Y/N laughed as she read the next question which made Seb a little nervous "Who do you prefer as a teammate, me or Kimi?" She asked.
Sebastian guffawed "I'm not answering that" he replied which earned him an incredulous look "oh so you have to think about it?" She asked.
"You're both good for different reasons" he said.
"Okay so what is Kimi good for that I'm not?" She asked with a look that dared him to answer.
"Some peace and quiet" he muttered under his breath causing Y/N to gasp and slap his arm "That is just rude!" She said, pretending to be offended.
"I'm joking" he told her with a cheeky grin before slamming on the brakes as they reached the pits.
Y/N crept up behind Sebastian who was in the middle of an interview, she looked at the camera and placed her finger to her lips, warning the interviewer and the camera man to be quiet.
Those who saw what she was up to stopped to watch, trying to hide their amused smirks and giggles as Sebastian remained blissfully unaware, too focused on answering questions.
She got up right behind him and before he could sense the presence behind him she raised her arm up and poured the ice cold water over his head.
Sebastian shrieked and spluttered as everyone laughed, turning around he came face to face with the proud smile of his wife. He shook his head like a wet dog causing water to splatter everywhere, he launched himself at her. Y/N screamed, trying to run away but she was too slow, her husband had caught her and had pulled her into his chest, rubbing himself all over her to get her wet as payback.
Everyone in the Formula One world loved the prank wars that occurred in the paddock between the married couple.
DRIVE TO SURVIVE
"My name is Sebastian Vettel and I'm a Formula One driver for Scuderia Ferrari"
"My name is Y/N Vettel and I'm a Formula One driver for Mercedes AMG Petronas... yes! Fuck you Lewis... that's how you do it!"
"Seb's a four time world champion, and one of the most ruthless, brilliantly effective racing drivers that I've ever seen... You don't lose that ability overnight" ~Will Buxton
"Y/N just has this fire about her when she's on the track, she's one of the most determined and skilled driver's in the whole of formula one, I think her six World titles show that" ~Toto Wolff
GRILL THE GRID
Daniel Ricciardo threw his head back and sighed "I think the Vettel's will get those, they're both nerds"
"I have all the time I need?" Sebastian asked the filming crew who nodded in response.
S: "Lewis 2020,
Y/N 2019,2018,2017,2016,2015, 2014
Y: Seb was 2013,2012,2011 and 2010
2009 was Jenson Button
2008 Lewis
S: Kimi 2007
2006 and 2005 was Fernando
2004,2003,2002,2001,2000 was Michael
Y: 1999 and 1998 was Hakkinen
1997.... Villeneuve
Time skip
S: 1953 and 1952 was Ascari
1951 was Fangio
S&Y: and the first one was Farina
The filming crew couldn't believe it, they clapped for the pair whilst shaking their heads in disbelief. The couple really were a pair made in heaven.
Y/N looked at the crew with a proud, excited smile on her face "Did I do it!?"
The crew nodded, Y/N's mouth dropped open before she smiled at the camera and bowed "I'm so proud of myself right now"
"Sebastian got them all right too" the camera man told her. Y/N laughed "Of course he did, who do you think taught me"
Y/N and Sebastian had just raced their last ever race in formula one, she had managed to get on the podium which was a great way to finish her career, one last trophy.
The drivers had all lined up to give the couple a last send off which was really sweet.
"Y/N! Sebastian! Can I get you for one last interview before you leave? I know you're probably sick of all the questions" Natalie Pinkham asked.
She was right, they were tired of all the questions but everyone had a soft spot for Natalie so it only felt right that she should be their last interviewer of the paddock and so the couple walked up to her.
"I was wondering if you could tell us a bit about your decision to retire together, I know you already explained a lot when it was announced but is there anything else that you have to add?" She asked, holding out the microphone between the couple.
Sebastian's hand settled on Y/N's back, his thumb stoking up and down, encouraging her to speak first.
"It wasn't an easy decision and we know that we definitely had the opportunity to continue racing but we have goals outside of formula one that we want to accomplish together and feel now is the time to work towards those goals, Seb and I entered formula one together and it feels right to leave it together too, it's great knowing that we quite literally went through the entire thing with each other"
Sebastian smiled lovingly down at his wife, she had described it perfectly. He knew she still loved racing just as she had when she first started and truly she had only agreed to retire because he had chosen to and she didn't want to race without him on the grid with her but he had lost his spark, he has tried to persuade her to continue but she was adamant.
"How about you, Sebastian?" Natalie asked, tilting the microphone closer to him.
"I think she worded it perfectly, I couldn't think of anyone better to spend my career with, formula one has given us both a lot of special memories but it's time for us to move onto the next step and you'll probably still see us around at some point"
Natalie nodded with a smile and thanked them before letting them get on their way.
Sebastian brought Y/N into a hug, holding her tight against his chest. "This is it, it's over now." He mumbled.
Y/N hummed into his race suit "Maybe. But it's the start of something better"
#sebastian vettel#seb5#vettel5#seb vettel#formula one#Sebastian Vettel x reader#motorsport#formula one x you#formula one x reader
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𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎 in which pierre is dating everyone’s favorite singer! ౨ৎ pierre x female!singer!reader
Liked by ynswife, pierregasly, xoxoyn, and 43,789 others
ynupdates Y/n, her first night and her first time playing in paris!! She preformed amazing and gave us a sneak peak of her new song, “dance with me” 🥹 who could this song be about ? 🧐🧐
view all 678 comments..
user why did paris do to deserve this..😐😐 Like wdym they got a sneak peak of her new song????? 😭😭
→ user RIGHT like stop it oui oui bitches.
user she made dance with me for me wdym
user i’d kill to see her live 😭
user what’s happening to me?? 🧍♀️-🧎♀️-🎸
user PARIS GO SUCK A DICK
user i lost a song i didnt even know i could Lose.
→ user LITERALLY.
user PIERRE SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
user her outfit is so cute 😭❤️
→ user rightt, shes always eating
Liked by yourbestie, charles_leclerc, and 998,788 others
yourusername thank u france 🥖🥖🇫🇷🇫🇷 love u ❤️❤️🙈🙈
view all 3,479 comments..
yourbestie who is this french man mrs ……. ?!?!?!!!!
→ yourusername Idk i was just kissing a random baguette man i found on the street :///
→ yourbestie ur gonna get a disease from kissing a random french man………
→ yourusername ouch. -french man
user we lost her to a french man ☹️
→ yourusername dw he will never compete with u guys
user IS THIS THE MAN SHES WRITING A SONG FOR?????
→ yourusername thank u to my maaan 🫡
user i can tell pierres hair, and thats his hair in the 3rd pic.
→ user yeah cause that bitch is balding
→ user LMFAO THATS FOUL 😭😭
user the last picture is literally PIERRE.. ARE THEY TRYING TO BE OBVIOUS
→ user right they’re not even hiding it
Liked by yourbestie, yukitsunoda0511, and 345,971 others
pierregasly Over the break 💕
View all 484 comments
yukitsunoda0511 I really like your photographer 😂
→ pierregasly Thanks yuki, I love her too 😂
charles_leclerc Seems like you’ve been having some fun over the break 🫣
→ pierregasly 🤔🤔
user AAAHSOXOSAOS YN YN YN
→ user who is yn and why do people think she’s with pierre??
→ user she’s an artist! you should search her up/ listen to her!!
user pierres soft launch era!! get rid of it. I NEED TO KNOW WHO SHE IS
user i love how yuki is still in these photo dumps ❤️
Liked by pierregasly, yourbestie, and 134,889 others
yourusername hellloooo everybody!!!!!!!! new single out in a few days (yay) it’s called “dance with you” 💌
View all 589 comments
user WE’RE FINALLY GETTING FEED
user EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU TO HER MAN, HE GAVE OUR GIRL INSPO
→ user thank you kind sir we don’t know of
→ user thank you for making our mother write love songs x
→ user THANK 😭 U 😭 YN’S 😭 MAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭
user my prayers have been answered 😭🙏🏼
user CANT WAIT OH MU GOD
user I’m so ready to stream this song everyday and cry.
→ yourusername don’t cry babes 😞❤️ ILY
user LETS GO LESTS GOO WE WON
user cancelling all my plans just in case she calls !!
→ yourusername BACK WHEN I WAS LIVIN FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL
user GIRL I CANT WAIT U NEED TO RELEASE IT RIGHT THIS SECOND
user this is so AUAAGDUWOQDFC
pierregasly added to their story
seen by ynupdates charles_leclerc 252,676 others
YN 💕
PIERRE OH MY GOD
WHY WOULD U …
BAEB 🙊🤍
I MEANT TO PUT IT ON MY CLOSE FRIENDS I SWEAR
i mean ITS NOT LIKE PEOPLE DIDNT ALREADY KNOW..??
YN 💕
well YEAH.. but I wanted to tell my fans myself 😒
BAEB 🙊🤍
i’m sorry 😞
at least your single comes out in a few days .. ??
YN 💕
😒😒
ok wait
i forgive u 🤍🤍🥖🥖
BAEB 🙊🤍
❤️❤️❤️
Liked by yukitsunoda0511, pierregasly, and 88,992 others
yourusername a very wise man once told me it wouldn’t b a photo dump if yuki weren’t in it … so i kidnapped him so he could be in my photo dump, thanks yuki ❤️🙊🐈⬛🥖
tagged yukitsunoda0511 pierregasly
View all 989 comments
user YUKI WHAT ARE U DOIN HERE
→ user more like what is PIERRE doing here …
user i hope yk how to fight pierre fucking gasly
user plot twist what if shes dating yuki
→ user its time to take ur meds babe! all these soft launch pictures we’ve gotten have BROWN HAIR !! does yuki have brown hair ? no!!
→ user jesus girl i was joking .. maybe YOU should take ur meds, insane ass…
user the last photo 😭😭
→ user shes so real fo that though cause what is up with these sassy men
→ yourusername sassy men apocalypse 🧟
user this is by far my favorite post ever cause YUKI LOOKS SO ADORABLE 😞❤️
user i am so SICK. HUST POST YOU AND PIERRE KISSING OR SOMETHING 😭😭😭 PLEASE I CANNOT KEEP WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO CONFIRM IT YOURSELF. PLEASE YOU GUYS ARE SO SICK AND FUCKIGN TWISTED 😭😭😭😭
→ user preach 🗣️🗣️🗣️💯💯💯
user poor yuki he had to third wheel
→ user wdym yn was third wheeling
yukitsunoda0511 I have a family please let me go
→ yourusername never 😹🙊
pierregasly my little photographer
→ yourusername i should start charging u..
→ pierregasly no … you can’t, I’m broke
→ yourusername you make more money than I do ????
Liked by pierregasly, yourbestie, and 99,192 others
yourusername heeyyoo! “dance with me” out noow…!!! and by the way, I DO really like you pierregasly 🤍🤍🥖🥖⭐️⭐️
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user SHUT UP OH MY GOD
user no…. NO….. I LOST MY WIFE……
user yn does this mean we’ll get more love songs 🎀
→ yourusername oui ☺️☺️🫰🏼🫰🏼⭐️⭐️
user i just fell to my knees in a walmart parking lot
user what if i just 🪦
user you’re so silly bae 😂😂 you and ur a.i boyfriend 😂😂
→ yourusername sorry x
→ user excuse me where can i get a french a.i boyfriend like u
→ yourusername uhm ask yukitsunoda0511 he got it for me!!!!
user DANCE WITH ME STAYS ON REPEAT
user im throwing up
charles_leclerc Does this mean I can’t take him on dates anymore ?
→ yourusername can i take your girlfriend out? cause then the answer is yes charlie 🦎🦎
→ charles_leclerc 🧐🧐 Maybe….
pierregasly dance with me is the best song in existence ❤️❤️
→ yourusername thank u babe 🤍🤍😊😊🫰🏼🫰🏼
pierregasly I’m glad that I can finally post you
→ yourusername I love you 🥹🤍🤍
user AUATAAHH FINALLY
→ user I WON I WON I WON
→ user MY PARENTS
→ user SCREAMING AND SOBBING SO HARD RIGHT NOW
user they’re so ☺️☺️
user I ALWAYS KNEW U WERE MEANT FOR THAT WAG LIFE QUEEN
→ user wait PLS tell me you’ll be at the races 😭🙏🏼
→ yourusername of course! definitely not all of them but i’ll try my hardest to come 💕😊
Liked by yourusername, yukitsunoda0511, and 87,778 others
pierregasly Je t'aime my red panda 🤍
tagged yourusername
View all 767 comments
user HE CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS 😭😭
user seeing this makes me feel . DISGUSTED
user if you look closely you can see me violently sobbing in the corner.
user you guys are so cute!!!!!!!!! 😂 (i literally just kms)
user always these damn white men
user my parents 4eva
user yourusername when does the love album for pierre come out babes x
→ yourusername feb 7th 🦎
user the 😭 caption 😭. my 😭 red 😭 panda 😭
user pierre how do u feel after pulling the baddest girl ever
pierregasly amazing cause i ❤️ my gf
user yn bae how long has this been going on !!
→ yourusername 50 years
landonorris LET ME GO TO YOUR CONCERTS YN
→ yourusername of course landobum x
charles_leclerc so cute (yuck)
yukitsnoda0511 you’re welcome for setting you up with her 🙄
→ yourusername THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE MOST WONDERFUL BF EVER YUKI ⭐️⭐️🫰🏼🫰🏼
→ pierregasly THANK YOU YUKI!! I’LL BUY YOU ALL THE FOOD YOU WANT🫡❤️
౨ৎ helloooo ! i hope u like this 😁😁 idk what to say tbh cause this is just a re upload …. I WILL TRY TO POST FOR DULCE HOTLINE SOON 🤓 i’ve been kinda busy tho, sorry ☹️😞
#𓇼 landitolover#꩜ my writings#f1#f1 fanfic#formula one#f1 x reader#female reader#smau#pierre gasly#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly x you#alpine#beabadoobee#motorsports#f1 x female reader
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