#Cath heartless

[sc11vb]

Heartbroken

A Heartless fanfic

1620 words

A/N: This is sad and sweet and made me cry at one particular part. I hope you enjoy reading it!! Let me know if you would like to see it on AO3!! Much love!!

She saw him everywhere.

She glimpsed his reflection in her mirrors, but he was always gone by the time she dared to turn around. 

She thought she heard his easy laugh echoing throughout the corridors of the home she’d never wanted, the Castle of Hearts.

It was all wrong.

Her heart was supposed to be gone; why did it feel as though there was another in her chest? This new heart - it was trying to repair what had been lost.

“A heart, once stolen, can never be given back.”

Could that be Jest’s heart, then? Could he be inching her towards feeling once again? Her mind had been a blank slate for so long, erased of the brokenness that had been her. The sweet relief of not being able to feel had satisfied her for a while, until he started coming back.

He was gone. He should stay gone. How would she - could she - love him, if her own heart refused to beat? It wasn’t hers anymore, anyways. But what if Jest still had a piece of her heart? What if he had coaxed her into being able to feel again, without her knowledge?

Cath scoffed to herself. It wasn’t as though Jest could return.

. . . . . .

Then he began coming to her while she was sleeping, in her dreams - or were those nightmares? Cath could never tell. He was the hazy, beautiful boy she had first known.

In those visions, he would hold her and kiss her and tell her he loved her. Sometimes, she would do the same. Sometimes, she would back away, startled by the unnaturalness of it all. He would always wear that expression of hurt as her footsteps receded nervously. But he had a reason to hurt. He was dead, after all.

Cath revelled in those moments, those times when she and Jest could make up for what was lost - for all the kisses that they had been unable to give, to share. She imagined a happy life in Chess where she was not a queen, not a king’s wife. Where she didn’t have to play at love.

. . . . . .

Then he started speaking to her.

His voice was the water that eroded her stone-coldness. He wore away at her hurt, chipped off the lingering pain.

He had always been one for achieving the impossible.

His words were always soothing and kind, never harsh, like they should’ve been. Cath had let him die. He should despise her, not welcome her into his arms like she belonged there. But these were just dreams … weren’t they?

And although Cath was loath to admit it, he needed to stop. She couldn’t go on like this.

. . . . . .

“We can stop the pain.”

The three sisters were back, having been summoned by Cath for their knowledge. They carried the remains of her black, broken heart … or did they? Was there a fresh part that she was unaware of, kept by Jest even in death?

“What do you ask for in return?” They always asked for a price, high or low.

“Tillie wants a strand of midnight hair, Lacie wants a gown you’ll never wear, and I want a jewel from the crown you can hardly bear.”

That was all easy enough to get.

A tug at her scalp was the midnight hair. A quick search of her plentiful wardrobe produced a white dress that reminded her too much of the roses Jest had bestowed upon her. A trip to a blacksmith, and her crown was absent of a singular ruby.

All were given to the sisters three.

“You must sleep, my queen,” said Tillie. “When the joker enters your dreams, you must bid him goodbye.”

“Do the impossible, and ask for your heart back.” This came from Elise.

Lacie stood next to Cath. “Sleep,” she murmured, and Cath slumped against the wall.

. . . . . .

“You’ve returned.”

As always, Cath opened her eyes to a garden of white roses. It was the common setting to any dreams featuring Jest. It was ironic, she supposed - the one flower that she had demanded never to see, she was always happiest to be greeted by.

The second thing in sight was Jest.

Cath could not help the tears burning at her eyelids. With a sob, she fell into Jest’s strong arms. He seemed more realistic than usual - it was him. Truly him. The boy she loved so greatly, brought to life in a vision.

What was this feeling? Why was it so familiar? Why did it ripen the pain, split open a nearly-healed wound that Cath had been so prudently nursing?

“Don’t cry, Cath,” Jest whispered. His lips brushed softly against her hair. “Shh. I’m here.”

Nonetheless, Cath sobbed again. This time, she dared to look into those lemon-yellow eyes. They were as sweet as the lemon tarts she had made (and twice as beautiful), before she’d truly known him, before she’d loved him, before she lost him. Before vengeance was a thing that occupied her every waking thought.

“Jest,” she said, her voice like broken glass. “Jest. Why did you leave me? Why would you go?”

“Oh, Cath.” His words sent a fresh wave of tears down her cheeks. She swiped at them, determined to make this a happy moment, instead of a tearful one.

Cath clutched his black tunic with shaking hands. She never wanted to let go. She wouldn’t let him leave again.

“I killed him,” she said. “No, Raven did. But I ordered the execution. Sir Peter is dead.”

A frown creased Jest’s beautiful, perfect mouth. “Cath …”

“I couldn’t bear the pain. Elise, Lacie, Tillie - they took my heart. Carved it clean out of my chest. And then I knew, more than ever, that Sir Peter’s death was the only thing that would truly allow me to let go of you.”

“If you let go, then why am I still here?” Jest made his way over to a bench in the white rose garden that Cath had never noticed. He sat on one side, and Cath sat on the other. It fit them perfectly, as if it had been built to suit both of their bodies as one.

“Because …” Cath’s lip trembled.She couldn’t help it. This was the boy she loved, returned to her. Even in a dream … He had to be real. This was Jest. This was the court joker whom she had given her heart to “Because you have my heart. Even in … death,” she struggled over the word, “you still have my love.”

“And you want it back.” Jest’s laugh was bitter. “That’s why you came back for me. Because you want me to return your stolen possession.” He turned away from her.

“Please, no, Jest - you can’t believe that,” Cath cried, clutching his arm. “I love you. You’re able to see me, and I’m able to see you - because our love is so strong.”

When Jest turned to face her again, their lips joined, his mouth crushing hers. She made a surprised sound before returning the kiss. She never wanted their lips to part. She didn’t want to say goodbye.

It was all happening too quickly. Time wouldn’t wait for her, especially since it had hurt her so easily before.

“How long do we have?” Jest asked, when he was finally able to move away. “Before you leave and never return?”

“Until I wake from this dream. I don’t know how quickly time passes outside of here, but it waits for no one.” Cath traced her thumb across Jest’s cheekbones, around the dimples engraved so cleverly into his cheeks.

“I don’t want to waste any time,” Jest said. His voice had lowered. Cath dared to look him in the eyes. His pupils had dilated, eclipsing the twin golden suns.

“I don’t either,” Cath replied.

“How do we do this?”

“Something tells me you have a knack at accomplishing the impossible.”

Jest chuckled. “Perhaps not entirely what I meant at all.”

“You’ve also successfully undid my laces once before. I assume that’s what you meant?”

“More like it.”

. . . . . .

The sun that had been shining so brightly before had dimmed, and Cath assumed that her time with Jest was coming to a closure.

“I don’t ever want to leave you,” she said. 

“You’ll never truly be leaving me,” Jest responded, tracing the contours of her face. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. “Remember my name. Remember the court joker whom you loved. I’ll save your heart until I see you again - treasure it, protect it. No harm shall befall it. And then, when we’re together, it’ll be like we were never apart.”

Cath just smiled.

“I would never wish for your death,” Jest continued, “but I’ll await your return anxiously. Know that I am in a happy place - not a better one, but a kingdom in which we can be ourselves - and do not let anything lingering behind distract you.”

Cath felt like a liar when she nodded. But the knowledge that she would see Jest again kept her from too much pain, especially as she waited to give him his heart, and take hers back. Not for forever, though.

“Jest,” she said, relishing the feeling of his name on her tongue. He pressed a sweet kiss against her swollen lips.

“Say it,” he whispered. “Cath, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Her voice was shaking. There would never be enough kisses, never be enough times when she was entirely centred on Jest’s touch and that alone. “Jest,” she said again, knowing that it would be almost an eternity - almost forever - before she saw him again. “Goodbye.”

It was not a goodbye at all, but just another way to tell him she loved him.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Happy Ending?

Cath, post-ending, fluff

Catherine called for a carriage immediately.

Two months had passed since Peter Peter's execution. Two months, slow as syrup making it's way down a mountain.

"My darling!" The king squealed, for a moment Cath feared he meant to grab hold of her skirt. Afterall, his small size gave him every opportunity to do so. He didn't, for that would be improper. Instead he simply stood, red-faced and looked up at her. "Where are you off to?" He asked, forcing a jovial tone to go along with his beetroot face.

Cath met his gaze. Surprisingly, the king didn't flinch away. "Home." She said.

Catherine called for a carriage immediately.

A carriage that would take her to Rock Turtle Manor.

A carriage that would take her to the closest thing she had left to home. The bedroom where he'd whisked her away, the tree he climbed, the sea cave where he'd told her such wonderful things...

I can't stop thinking about you either, Lady Pinkerton.

Catherine felt herself smile for the first time in months.

She stopped short, mere steps from the carriage.

A smile wasn't possible. She was without a heart. Without emotion, or feeling.

The sister's had taken her heart in exchange for Peter's head. All Cath could possibly feel was rage.

She pondered this for a moment, her minding wandering back to Jest and their final moments together... And then it was clear.

The sisters had her heart.

But she had Jest's.

Jest had offered her his heart, and she accepted.

In the same way Cath had given her own to him. But now he was gone and her heart belonged to the sisters.

Perhaps she had given away something that wasn't hers to give.

Cath closed her eyes as tears welled up behind them.

Catherine fisted her skirt and climbed, unladylike, into the carriage. Jest gave her this chance, and she wasn't going to let it slip away.

[evacrstairs]

heartless (cathjest) headers. like/reblog if you save or use. 💔

[caihosreads]

“A heart, once stolen, can never be taken back”

Jest and Catherine inspired by Marissa Meyer’s Heartless🖤

this book man this book 🙇🏻‍♀️

Never thought I’d ever be sympathising for the Queen of Hearts and yet here we are… painting an extra squishy happy scene hoping to fill up the void this book left.

[godheadjones]

marrisa meyer book couples > you /j

[timelessbibliophile]

Hello! I am bothering you on here again. I feel like Castles Crumbling is giving Heartless right off the bat.

So true!! Let's dissect it.

I think of this song as Cath, once she became queen, looking back at her old life and how far she has come. She used to be one of the most respected people in the nobility, the freaking KING seeked her out to be his queen. She was held up so high, but after losing Jest, everything for her fell apart. Not only that, but she didn't care about anyone else after she lost him, she no longer had a heart. Obviously, she fell from grace when that happened, she became ruthless, the people were now afraid of her, no longer cheering when they saw her.

"You don't wanna know me, I will just let you down", she's no longer who she was before. She's heartless now.

This verse is so Cath-coded. The people of Hearts were counting on her to be their queen, they trusted her, they loved her, but she didn't want any of it, and that built resentment towards everyone, until eventually she exploded with resentment. It tore her apart.

I can picture the last scene in the book, where Raven, Cheshire, Mary Ann, they all try to talk to her but she shuts them down. She's full of rage, of regret, of guilt. She think Jest's death is on her hands, if she only would've kept her promise of leaving; of going to Chess with Jest, maybe he would still be alive and well. So now, she sits alone in her castle, feeling nothing but guilt and regret.

She cuts everyone's heads now. She's a monster in the eyes of everyone she has ever known. Likewise, she's gone insane, now everyone hates her for her cold blood.

she still has a palace, an empire, but now all the bridges have been burned, and all heads have been cut. You don't want to betray her.

I also really like that the intro and outro could kind of showcase how she went insane. How she's blind with red rage.

What a great song, what a great book. Thank you, Taylor Swift, for continuing to make songs that relate to Heartless.

[tarvastries]

I love you characters who go through physical transformation. I love you characters whose pain is carried in physical reminders and scars. I love you characters who become someone they never wanted to be. I love you monsters who used to be human. I love you characters who sacrificed humanity for the greater good. I love you characters who turned into something else against their will. I love you characters who are forever altered by the choice to help others. I love you characters who change because the story demands it.

[froggos-are-superior]

you look just like your father

and

it's the things we love most that destroy us

and

fascinating, isn't it, how often heroic and foolish turn out to be one and the same

and

what if we could stop being different colors, different backgrounds, and just be in love?

and

there's always a choice. it's just that sometimes one choice is worse than another

and

watch how quickly the supreme court can make an alien of you. watch how they light your skin on fire and call your attempts to breathe inhuman

and

perhaps bravery is simply the face humanity wraps around its collective madness

and

sometimes evil deserves a sorry

and

but you're the good guys right? you're doing the right thing? you're the ones protected by the future authors of history. no one will remember your wrongdoings, so what does it matter?

and

sorry but destiny doesn't exist in this world. it's just one person's circumstances colliding with another's

[jestermad]

it feels a little like dying when you start a book, obsessed with a character, knowing that it’s a RETELLING so they’re already dead.

They’re not alive, silly goose! They’ve been dead for a long while! Gone and forgotten but you’re still mourning them when you haven’t even properly met them?

Shame. Such a shame, you haven’t even read anything and you’re already weeping?

[hoes-n-foes]

I wish Heartless had a scene of Cath and Jest baking together, I feel like it could have brought so much to their connection and ours with the couple.

Imagine Cath bossing Jest around in the kitchen, them messing about cooking and them eating whatever came out of it.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Just read the sweetest fic of Cath and Jest and like he's alive.

THEY COULD'VE BEEN HAPPY

[andreai04]

This was why she enjoyed baking. A good dessert could make her feel like she’d created joy at the tips of her fingers. Suddenly, the people around the table were no longer strangers. They were friends and confidantes, and she was sharing with them her magic.

[shrublub]

“I should have known the hat would play a role.”

“Actually, it just gets in the way. Besides, I was right. It does look better on you.”

[booksaesthesic]

-catherine pinkerton aesthetic-