#Cat pampering services

[herespaaa]

Pamper Your Feline Friend with At-Home Cat Grooming Services | HereSpa

Many cats find traditional grooming salons to be stressful and intimidating. With HereSpa's at-home grooming services, your cat can enjoy a calm and familiar environment, reducing their anxiety during the grooming process. The experienced groomers at HereSpa are skilled in handling cats of all temperaments, ensuring a gentle and stress-free experience for your beloved pet.

[rattlingmycage]

One "good" end I had in mind for these two (more of a "mid" end, and not even an actual "end") is that Hescrates brings Astarion back to their homeland. Astarion lays low from Cazador in a well-fortified castle, protected by a navy and army supplemented with pirates and mercenaries. He's given free reign to request whatever he wants of the guards, and Hescrates gives him such preferential treatment it turns more than a few eyes; privileges no one's witnessed them granting in over a decade. Such privileges, as casual physical contact without having to pay the price in fingers. Astarion, of course, makes a point of flaunting that one every chance he gets. A cringe letter from the POV of an assassin sent for Hescrates' head below the cut.

[sunkissedchld]

𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

𝐀𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

observations are mostly based on charts shared in @d4rkpluto’s astrotumblr yearbook discord! thank you to the following people for sharing their charts:

@starsworldd @evangelinesbible @saturnianprincess @saintfool @modellemode @icanseethefuture333 @ibecookin

disclaimer: i interpret charts in whole sign

asteriod aphrodite is code 1388

⟡ aries sun could make you relatively confindent in their looks; you could be very passionate and/or dominant in relationships or want to lead your partner in some way

✦  in the 3H could make you quick-witted or smart mouthed

⟡ aries saturn could cause you to be hyper independent therefore causing potential partners to feel unwanted

⟡ taurus moons could enjoy being spoiled/pampered while in relationships; acts of service and gift giving could be your love language

⟡ gemini venus could be attracted to those who are witty, educated/logical, and/or like to debate. you could also like people who are a little unserious and those with large friend groups

⟡ for gemini mars, arms/hands can be turn ons. you could be a friendly flirt; not necessarily open to making the first move; could enjoy a cat and mouse game or playing hard to get

⟡ gemini saturn could have issues with communication in relationships - being "too" open or not open enough and/or not taking your partner seriously during times where you need to

✦  in retrograde, you could think too much about your own or your partners actions in the relationship; you could talk yourself into a bad mood which could carry over into the relationship causing insecurities and/or jealousy

⟡ gemini risings could be seen as friendly, approachable, and smart upon first impression; people could be drawn to your eyes and smile; people could also enjoy hearing you speak

⟡ cancer saturns could possibly be manipulative in relationships (if underdeveloped); you could put more into relationships than you get out of them or not put in enough effort; you could be overly attatched to your partner

⟡ leo/aquarius risings/venuses could have the most unique styles fashion wise

✦ for leos, people could try to imitate your style. for aquariuses, you might have your own sub-genre or self-described sense of style that is unique to you

⟡ leo jupiters could gain fame, confidence, and/or attention from their relationships

✦ heavier emphasis or likelihood if you also have leo degrees

⟡ leo saturns could have issues with confidence and/or receiving attention while in a relationship; you could want too many affirmations or never accept them when they're given

⟡ leo venuses/mars could be attracted to those who are confident and/or famous or well-known; also possibly attracted to people who are creative and playful; a partner's back and/or hair could be a turn-on

⟡ virgo venuses/mars could be attracted to those who are healthy and/or biological displays of health; a partner's stomach or abs could be a turn on; you could prefer when sex is semi-planned and/or could be prone to overextending yourself during sex; you could prefer being a giver rather than a receiver

✦ conversely, i think taurus venuses/mars would be more receivers than givers

⟡ virgo suns could be seen as "traditional beauties"; you could also be drawn to traditional relationships/relationship dynamics

✦ these ideas of "tradition" would be based on where you are from/your societal norms; there is no one, unified "tradition"

⟡ libra risings could have facial features that are proportionate to your own face; possibly described as ingeniune/gamine type; skin could often be clear or seen as nice

⟡ those with libra mars could see your partner's skin/hips/butt/lower back as turn ons and/or their partner touching those areas of your body could turn them on; you could be attracted to those who are charming and considerate; you could like it when you're "wined and dined" so to speak

⟡ scorpio suns could have an alluring/intense look; your eyes and/or sexual organs could could be seen as attractive; you could want intensity when it comes to romance and sex; you could be into "taboo" relationships; you could possibly be possessive or prone to jealousy in relationships

⟡ scorpio venuses could be attracted to those who are protective over them; major cravings for intamacy and closeness while in a relationship; "i want to be inside of you"

✦ in retrograde, achieving these wants in a relationship could soothe your personal emotions and repair your own emotional needs

⟡ scorpio jupiters could have their sex life increased while in a relationships; possibility of going through more transformations (especially intense ones) while in relationships; possibly being more secretive

⟡ scorpio risings could have an intense gaze; your beauty could be intimidating to some people, but you still manage to draw people in to being fascinated by you

⟡ capricorn chiron/liliths could detest being in "traditional" relationships or being expected to follow through with "traditional" relationship dynamics; could have a want for a little bit of instability

⟡ capricorn moons could value stability and successes in relationships; anniversaries and planned dates could bring you comfort

⟡ capricorn mars could be attracted to those who are older and/or more mature; people with strong bone structures/hair could be turn-ons; could also be attracted to people who are cautious and/or "traditional"

⟡ aquarius risings make you an eccentric beauty; smile and/or calves could be an attractive point; you could be ahead of fashion trends

⟡ aquarius chiron/liliths could worry about your relationships being seen as odd or "taboo"

⟡ those with sun conjunct mercury could entice people with your voice or way of speaking; you could be known as a sweet talker

⟡ those with a fifth house stellium could be very fertile

✦ having many trines to jupiter could also be an indicator

⟡ 12H junos could find that marriage transforms them (ie. in capricorn, you could go from being someone who is always wanting to go places or never wanting to settle down to maturing and finally doing so)

⟡ 8H jupiters could gain money from shared resources in relationships; could also have hyper active sex lives

⟡ 3H moons could have words of affirmation be your love language

⟡ those with their ascendant at 5º could have people who are very sexually attracted to you; you could always gain attention even if you don't always want or notice it

⟡ 6H moons could value acts of service as your love language

✦ even more so if it's also cancer moon

⟡ 11H jupiters could find your friend group grows when getting into relationships

⟡ 1H junos could find that marriage changes people's perception of you; you could also gain/lose weight while in relationships (ie. libra ascendants would likely gain weight; be seen as more playful and/or charming)

⟡ 5H junos could find marriage makes you more creative; children could be a focal point of the marriage; marriage could also cause you to be more intune with your inner child

⟡ 4H moons may find that emotional connections in relationships bring you comfort; touch could be your love language

⟡ 12H moons could long for being in long-term relationships; there could be a want for a "soulmate" or "other half"

⟡ 2H moons could have gift giving as your love language; doing daily routines with your partner could bring you comfort

⟡ 2H jupiters could see an increase in their personal money/possessions while in relationships

⟡ 9H jupiters could gain more knowledge while in relationships; you could also travel more or have more experiences with things or people who are foreign to you

⟡ 11H moons could value time spent together ; thinking about the future and bringing together friend/family groups could bring you comfort while in relationships

⟡ 8H saturn/liliths could have an aversion to sharing resources in relationships; having a "what's mine is mine" mentality

[shidouryusm]

✿༝༚༝༚ Wrapped in red ✿༝༚༝༚

・❥・Kuroo x reader

・❥・synopsis-> hey siri, what are the consequences of surprising your fiancé with a lingerie under a coat for his birthday?

・❥・ word count-> 5.6k words (nobody look at me)

・❥・content warning-> mdni, explicit smut, fem!reader, cun!lli!ngu$

・❥・a.n -> this is the last time I'll be reposting this if tumblr still doesn't like me I got nothing to do. Tagging a bunch of my mutuals so that atleast they can enjoy. may your cheese rot tumblr. Also happy kuroo day ignore I'm this late everyday is kuroo day stfu. dividers by @cafekitsune , @benkeibear and @quirrrky

Kuroo can feel the chills of the winter already settling in mid-November. The expanse of his living room is veiled with a thin layer of frigidness. The tiles were cold and a siren of silence rings through till the ends, until the little clock resting on the small table breaks through the curse with the beginning of a new day. 17th November. He stares at the clock. The slick hands points to 12, busy announcing his 29th birthday. It is a small, black, cat shaped clock that you found from god knows where and gifted him out of blue. Your justification being “it looks like you”. Kuroo snickers at the sudden wave of memory.

A whole lot of other things around his house are also extensions of you – the little section of potted plants on the shelves, the matching coffee cups, the red mittens hanging over the oven handle, kitchen magnets comprising pictures from both of your trip to Paris. They all are like pockets of your shadow scattered around, giving little hints of the day when you’ll ultimately mark your reign as the Mrs. of this house.

But as of tonight, each of them wildly indicates your lack of presence. Kuroo discerns that the silence was not any call of winter, rather it’s the sheer absence of your chortles and excited squeals around the house, especially tonight.

Kuroo was never that big on celebrating his birthdays, being on a competitive position in corporate asked for lot of compromises and Kuroo had wired himself to do that in his early years on job, not caring about forgetting his birthdays and stuff. Still, he manages to dig up time when it comes to yours or others. The man that he always is - relentless in his acts of services. 

However, you being around never quite made it possible for Kuroo to actually forget about his day. Always the more excited one, the best planner and as always, a little better than the previous years. Whether it be by throwing a grand party in a club for him or just by yourselves, with home cooked mackerel and rice, catching the golden sunset above and just savouring the day with a casket of good memories to look back on. Or it may be simply you by his side that makes each of his birthdays something to look forward to, even while being clutched by stress and non-stop work.  

He was indeed getting spoiled by such pampering because, as of this moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to be around you. To bask in the incessant warmth of your hugs and engulf himself in the pool of your kisses. Fuck. he really wishes you weren’t drowned in your work right now just so your singsong voice of Happy Birthday could reach his ears the first. He peers at his phone, several texts from his co-workers and friends wishing him were flooded in his notification bar, along with your last text, sent over an hour ago. 

Love♡♡ : work is so crazy right now, they should pay me for even gracing them my time this late >:(( anyways, good night. love you tets <;33

Nothing after that. He stares at the text. You weren’t online which meant you are either too busy in work or have already fallen asleep…without wishing him? 

A small twinge of hurt pinched his heart at the thought of it. Although he tries to reason it with your pressure at work. But it’s been like this for a few days, you completely submerged in work, barely getting the chance to even facetime, not being overly zealous atleast 3 business days before his birthday.

The little red demon above his head tries to play tricks yet his heart works with rationale – leading two projects at the same time meant things will slip up. Distance may be bound to form. Who knows? even paths of life may deviate from one another and eventually-

His train of thought cuts short by the sharp ring of the doorbell. It’s 12:30 already. Kuroo internally pleads that it’s not some surprise by his former teammates because without you, he doesn’t think he will indulge even a slightest bit. 

The door swings open and so does kuroo’s jaw. You, in your full glory, a ginormous beige jacket wrapped all over you, hair dishevelled from the wind, yet framing the most beautiful face in the world, stand at the threshold, panting and holding a large box of what seems like a cake. 

“Oh my gosh tetsu, I was almost about to punch the baker. Dumbass messed up my whole timing”

Kuroo was still busy steadying himself but he shifts from his place, allowing you to scoot past him and settle yourself in the dining seat, placing the cake there. 

Weren’t you asleep? Weren’t you way too busy to come? What is going on? 

He looks at you, making yourself comfortable at his space, like you are just meant to fit inside these 4 walls. The frosty silence suddenly vanishing by the cauldron of warmth you bring with you everywhere. He can’t wait for the day when it will be regular sight. 

“Baby, are you gonna stand there the whole night?” you giggle, striding towards his still figure beside the doorway. You hook your arms around his waist, your head tipping back as you stand on your toes, planting a soft kiss over his lips.

Kuroo’s eyes flutters shut as he draws himself into every fleeting moment of this kiss. His hands find your cheeks and large palms cradles them as gently as a rose petal, head dipping down to take in more of the feeling of your lips against him. The taste of your cherry balm engulfing him. 

You part from him, merely inches away as your lower lips bruses against each other. You whisper into the small gap, “Happy Birthday, my love. I’m not too late, am I?” 

“Doesn’t matter when your wish is what makes it worth. I almost thought you forgot” he hums, hands curling up against your neck, urging you to look at him. You crane your head up, meeting those honeyed eyes pooling with a multitude of emotions. 

“Awe you miss me that much? I have been real quiet this year on purpose. Trying something a little different”, you cheekily say, poking your tongue out. Kuroo quirks an eyebrow, “always a step ahead, aren’t you?”  he pecks your forehead while a small whisper of “I love you. Thank you for making this day something to look forward to” grazes over your skin. Your feel the kaleidoscope of butterflies zooming inside your ribcage, for the way his words echoed through the drums of your heart. As if the resonance between his and your heart just created more love to harbour.

"Tetsu", you grab his face, dipping his tall frame downwards to place another kiss. This time between his eyes. Hoping this kiss was equivalent to the million words he said with those gaze a few seconds ago. 

You take his hand, pulling him towards the cake, “now now,  it’s not the time to be all mopey. I fought for this cake and now you get to commemorate this day of high significance”. Kuroo chuckles, you were full of beans indeed. 

To think just a few moments back his thoughts were spiralling, he registers that that how much you being by his side grounds his inner monologue of hidden insecurity. Kuroo is always the epitome of  confident man but the inner cloud of anxiety yet rumbles time to time. Until, your presence acts like the yellowy sunshine after rain, banishing any grey thoughts that dare to delude him. 

“Why such high significance, may I ask?” you roll your eyes, amusement twinkling in your eyes and you answer like this is the most simple question ever, “Because you got to be born and be my boyfriend and then my groom-to-be, duh”, wiggling the left ring finger, you laugh. Shaking his head, he tunes into the peals of laughter with you. He cuts the cake, feeding you a piece before noticing you were still in your coat. 

“Baby, are you that cold? You know you could wait a bit more for your winter cloth haul” he gestures at the neck high coat. You squirm a little. He finally noticed.

“y-yeah, I know. there’s a…reason”, you send a sheepish smile on his way, effectively avoiding his gaze. 

Kuroo reaches towards you, curious at your shift in demeanor. He leans down, meeting your gaze with his ever sharp ones and you found yourself faltering a bit, heartbeat pacing higher than normal. 

“Princess, are you okay? you got a fever?” he runs his hand over your forehead to which you shake your head. Taking his fingers in yours, your fingertips glides over his knuckles. Unable to stall in any longer, you slung your arms around his neck. 

“Actually, I have your gift”, bringing your mouth closer to his ear as you whisper, “right under”, you murmur. His hand is now brought on your lower back, the feel of your skin right underneath the coat, clearly evident. 

Kuroo sucks in a breath, catching on to your innuendo immediately. Palms migrates towards your shoulder blades where he can feel the thin strap and bare skin over the coat. Curiosity killed the cat and now he just got fucking murdered.

“Hmmm? Should’ve said it earlier, princess.” kuroo hums, a mellowy timbre coating his voice. You gulp audibly, anticipating his moves. 

His hands trail over your shoulders, reaching up and stop around the collar of your coat, playing with the top button as he flashes his Cheshire like smile. Demeanor changing from concerned to smug in a flash of light. You keep your eyes on him, heavy breaths escapes your nose and mouth. Kuroo leans forward, his voice now merely a whisper tickling your ears.

“Should I guess what my present is?” he asks coyly. You can feel the teasing glint the words carry.  

“You can open it already, y’know?” your voice had an air of neediness, wanting nothing more than to indulge in his touches and losing yourself in him for the night. 

Kuroo tuts, shaking his head in faux disappointment, “tsk tsk tsk. it’s my present, princess. Let me enjoy it. in my way”. With that, he flicks the button open, his eyes catching a hint of red around your neck. A dark chuckle escapes his throat.

“Red, huh? You surely did some homework before”, another button pops open, this time, the base of your throat open up and a little red ribbon wrapped around the middle like a bow greets him. 

Kuroo felt his heart thrumming loudly, imagining what he could find after fully unbuttoning your coat. The suspense of the act spiking his blood and rushing downwards towards his crotch, he can already feel himself getting hard. God, you really knew how to outdo yourself every single year. 

Kuroo presses a kiss right beside that bow, feeling your erratic pulse against his lips. It curls into a smirk, right against your skin. You tip your head back, eyes closing and hands finding their way to the hem of his shirt. 

“Uh-uh, princess. Not so early.” Kuroo envelopes his hands over yours, before bringing them together behind your back, caging you between his hold. His right hand, once again,  flits back in its previous mission while his left hooks both of yours ; effectively locking them behind your back. “Not until I’m done unwrapping my present”. A kiss plants underneath your ear; the skin tingling with its effect. 

“You sure are taking a hell lot of time” you scorn. Kuroo chortles, popping another button open. This time a part of your sternum peeps out, he can make out the hint of cleavage from the skin exposed. More blood runs downwards and kuroo fights the urge to tear the coat off and bend you against the table to ravage you then and there. 

“Good things take time, princess. Moreover, you seem to enjoy it.” Kuroo muses, his hips roll against yours and you could feel the hardness of his crotch brushing up against your lower belly. “Take this as a punishment for being late to my birthday” he opens another button and the lace cupped cleavage makes their way.

“But it wasn’t my fault.” you pout. You’re so adorable, kuroo thinks. He laughs under his breath before pressing a soft kiss against your cheek. His hands trail over your sternum, dipping down towards the fat of tits spilling out before he ghosts over them ever so slightly, drawing a whine out of you from the untouched touch. 

“Oh but you were…” he drawls, “to think you went outside like this. Being a naughty little girl, are we now, princess?”. You open your mouth to say something  but his lips silences yours. His tongue almost immediately finding its way in your mouth and playing with yours. 

The kiss was sloppy with the way kuroo laps at your top lip, engulfing it in his mouth, saliva smears over your upperlips and drips down your lowers. The steamy makeout session in addition to the his hips grinding against your coat covered crotch leaves you staggering. 

One by one, he unbuttons the whole coat till the end, each time kissing a part of you he passes in the process, to all the way down, where he is kneeling. He looks above to see your figure hugged by this beautiful dark red fabric, only covering the bare necessities. 

He is eye level with your bare thigh, the plush skin adorned by a thin lacy garter, linked to the equally thin panties with a small band of cloth. You feel his hand runs across the back of your thigh, the cool band of your engagement ring gliding smoothly over your skin. The pads of his fingers dip down a little deep when he reaches your almost bare ass. 

“Fuck. what I’d do to you” you hear him murmur against your lace clad thigh. He scrapes his teeth against the fabric, peeling it off and exposing the beautiful skin out. The sharpness of his teeth mingles with the softness of his lips as he sucks and nips at the skin, leaving a purple well of mark around that area. Your breath hitches as you feel the dull throb of the hickey while he continues his ministration all over your inner thighs. 

“We better take this to the room before I end up taking you right here” his teeth still ghosts over your skin, now attaching around the band of your garter, tugging it gently before releasing it back, the elastic smacking your skin, causing a whine to tumble out your throat. His actions causing your pussy clench around the fabric.

He continues his journey up with his mouth before reaching your pussy. The material doing nothing to hide the outline of your cunt and looking closely enough he sees the dampness that is caused by your arousal. His fingers join in, smoothing upwards over the fabric gently. A moan leaves your lips, with the way he is being tantalisingly slow. If you could, you would have shoved his fingers inside. 

“Already wet and I barely did anything, baby. Wait for the real action atleast” his voice sardonic and praising simultaneously. He plants a kiss right over your crotch before trailing upwards. 

“Tetsu, you little-” you whine to which kuroo snickers. He loves you to death but he loves it more than anything when he is edging you and you are writhing and pleading.This is when he gets the chance fill you to brim with pleasure. The power surge he gets from this is immeasurable, when nothing leaves your mouth except his name. 

“What, my darling?” kuroo kisses below your navel, his lips smoothing over the surface with no friction. He peppers your stomach with nips and kisses before reaching under your breasts. A small kiss between the valley of your tits and then he finally rises up. He caresses the sides of your breats before holding you by your waist, squeezing you gently,pulling your figure flush against him. His hardened member now rocking against you with less obstruction. 

Kuroo tugs the coat off of your shoulder and it pools around your ankle, revealing your whole set to your fiance. Kuroo gawks at your figure, as if time stopped its track for him to drink your body with his eyes. 

“God you’re fucking beautiful” his voice low and husk filled. Kuroo peppers kisses on the curve of your shoulders, hiking his lips up into the crevice of your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses trailing towards your jaw.

You have always been the prettiest for him but this colour on you has popped out every feature of yours in the most alluring, elegant way. Kuroo huffs out short breaths as his eyes find it difficult to tear away from you, he eyes you from down to up before his eyes land on that ribbon. 

Oh fuck that ribbon. The way you made yourself like a present, kuroo is positive there isn’t any better gift in the whole planet than the one before his eyes. His lips find you again, passion and lust permeating through the kiss. His hands reach up to your breasts and he gives them a good squeeze. The nipples pert and poking through the cloth against his palm.

He guides your body along with his towards the bedroom without breaking the kiss, stumbling along the way but nonetheless reaching towards the edge of the bed. He pushes you, still connected with your lips, cradling your head before you fall into the heap of soft mattress. His body hovers over yours and one of his knees positions dangerously close to your cunt. 

“We gotta take this off before I tear it and that is the last thing I wanna do” kuroo husks, his hand deftly working their way to take off the top. 

Not that it did anything to cover what’s underneath, yet as he removes the bra and sees your tits spill out, he couldn’t help but take one in his mouth. Fondling the other one with his hand.

The feel of his mouth finally somewhere on you has you teetering on the edge, you let out out a moan. Your hands rake through his ink black locks while he tugs you nipple with his teeth. His knee presses against your almost bare pussy the sensation spikes your insides. 

Your hands reach for his shirt once again, urging him to take it off , to which he obliges but not before remarking something about it. 

“Can’t wait to see me naked, guess I can indulge in your desire a little bit”, you roll your eyes. Smug bastard. You feel him shift downwards, his knees touching the floor while leaving you sprawling on the bed, he adjusts your legs around his shoulders before scooting downwards.

His hands plays around your nipples, twisting and turning while his mouth travels south. He lets his teeth do the work, pulling at the underwear and tugging it off of you, finally letting the sight of your clenched cunt soothe his eyes. The way he keeps a unbreaking eye contact while doing the dirtiest of act makes your arousal seep down your cunt even more. He tugs the panties halfway through before teething at the garter again, slowly dragging it across you skin and pulling it off. 

“Practising for the big day, princess” he grunts, taking them off of you fully. You let out a light croon, even amidst the unholy acts of provocation, the gentle reminder of your promised near future sends you into a blissful train of thought. 

Kuroo’s sharp nip at your inner thigh brings you back. He stares at you with drooping eyes, silently challenging you to not break the contact as he lowers himself over your slit. He licks a stripe of your pussy, the feel of his tongue like millions of fireworks inside your nerves. You silently breath out a gasp while kuroo begins his onslaught of kitten licks over your cunt. Gradually reaching to your clit. He presses a kiss over the nub before capturing it with his mouth, gently sucking on it.

His tongue flicks your now swollen clit as you rock your body, bringing him closer, as if it’s anyways possible. Your mingled sounds of squeals and moans and whines mixes with the soft squelch of his fingers entering you. He prods them gently over your walls, knowing where to stretch and poke to evoke the most raw reaction from you.

“Tetsu…fuck...aah..” your voice are nothing more than little tufts of breaths as he shifts his pace every so often, while never leaving your puffed clit unattended. The alternate of his tongue and fingers works wonders to roll you over the edge. 

“Cum for me, baby” you hear his raspy voice vibrating across your skin, he sloppily makes out with your slit before driving his tongue inside, his face tilts as he tries to reach as deep inside you as he can. The grip of his hands on your thighs tightening. His cock feels heavy and the burning desire to replace it with his tongue flames his inside – but not before he makes you cum like this atleast twice. 

Two of his fingers drum over your clit while his tongue prods inside you. His jaw hurts but nothing matters when he gets to see the expression he draws out of you. Mouth falls open, while your head tips back. Not giving a damn about keeping eye contact because fuck if you could have exploded out of your body, you would. 

Kuroo groans at the irresistible feel of your essence around his tongue, “tastes so good for me”, he hums around your pussy. You could feel the wave of arousal waiting to burst and as you hear the words escape his mouth, your body reacts on accord. Back arches beautifully as you release yourself against kuroo’s lips.

Your mind levitates in the cloud of bliss while you feel Kuroo laps at your essence, the drag of his lips against you too euphoric. to joyful to get down from. But even while being on the daze, you feel Kuroo going at your pussy once again. 

“T-Tetsu…hnnggh”, you can feel the added force that his tongue applies as it drives inside you once again. 

“You thought I’d leave you to come around my tongue only once.” he rasps, his nose brushes against the overstimulated clit. He nuzzled himself against your cunt, his hands reaching over your ass and kneading the soft flesh. You let a wanton moan, too loud for the neighbours to not hear. Kuroo smiles, tongue thrusting inside your cushiony walls even more. 

You could feel your body quivering, preparing itself for another wave of orgasm not long after the previous one. You tug at his hair, your nails scraping against his scalp. Your other hand grabs at your breast to hold onto something. A sight Kuroo savours from behind his bangs that cover his face.

“I’m gonna…” you whine, thighs jolting around his arms while he keeps them locked. “Make a mess around my face, darling. Let go.” Kuroo was getting delirious at your taste. His cock nearly bursting his load in his pants. He rubs against the board of the bed, releasing some friction. He can sense your orgasm looming and naturally, he increases the pace, tumbling you over the edge for the second time. His teeth grazes the clit, giving it some attention before a harsh suckle has you going for the 2nd time that night. 

Your back arches, juices spraying out of your pussy. Kuroo is enthralled seeing you this dirty, this sexy, this sinful. You didn’t hold back  your sounds either, sweet melodies of his name with pleasured moans ringing throughout the room and satisfying Kuroo’s ears as he succeeds in making you spent. 

Not that he intends to stop yet.

Your body is still quivering, the afterwave of the pleasure still gushing inside your body. Kuroo caresses your thighs and hips, coaxing your body to relax. 

“You did so well, my sweet baby. looking gorgeous cumming around my face like that”, kuroo engulfs your mouth, his tongue shoves yours around and you decide to suck the tip of his tongue, relishing in the tangy essence of yours. A moan erupts from the man above as your wrap your hands around his sculpted back, losing yourself in the kiss. 

Kuroo helps you get down from the high before flipping you over. You notice the way he positioned you both, you are right in front of the dressing mirror. 

When did he even do that? 

Kuroo kneads your ass from behind, while another hand grabs your chin to make you look at the mirror. 

“Eyes up there, baby. Watch how I fuck this little pussy into oblivion”, you can feel his clothed cock grinding against your ass. Whimpering, you wiggle back, feeling more of him, causing Kuroo to suck in a breath.

“Behave, darling.” Kuroo lightly smacks your ass, watching the flesh ripple and groaning at the sight. 

You look over your shoulders at him. He looks so broad, the toned sculpture of his long hours at gym and sports really gifted you with a goldy sight. His face flushed with crimson and copper eyes blown out with lust. The contour of his abs to sexy to not gawk 24/7. His sweatpants are already hung low, cock whipped out, hard and swollen. The tip angry with precum dripping down the globes of your ass. You try to shift back, intending to return the favour he generously gave you a while back. 

But Kuroo , not-so-gently puts you back on your position, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you against the sheets. Your ass hiked up more to flash the clenching pussy in the air. The cold draft blowing around your sticky folds making you shiver. 

“Tetsu!” you exclaim, as he starts dragging his length over your folds, adding more of his arousal with yours, the spot lubed and moist for Kuroo to slide right in. 

“What did I say about behaving, princess? Are you looking for to get punished?” his voice dark and menacing, only reserved for you, in the bed. You shake your head, eyes locked with his through the mirror. Your nipples brush against your sheets with the way you are bent, adding more to the sensation.

You try to tug off the red ribbon, not wanting any ounce of fabric on your skin when kuroo grabs your hand, harshly. Hooking it over your back, he hikes your body up a little higher, his cock straight against your fold, the tip hitting snug the clit. His eyes are narrowed, eyes a little menacing, 

“Don’t you dare take that off. This stays on.” his voice low. You mewled an okay, too entranced with the way he looks behind your back to notice his manhandling. 

“That’s my girl”, kuroo hums before sliding inside you with ease. The remnants of previous shenanigans making it easy. Your mouth falls in a O as you feel the ridge of his cock gliding past your walls. With each of his inch bottoming inside you, you let out a moan, voice deliriously filthy. The sounds like a dulcet for him. 

He rams the last of his inch at once, making your body lurch forward. Your face scrunched in a beautiful frown, teeth digging at your lips. Hair falls over your face as you dip your head down to adjust to his size.  Kuroo becomes too busy admiring your features through the mirror. You look like a goddess, a goddess he brought down on her knees before him. 

He was probably too enticed because it wasn’t until the roll of your hips around his pelvis that dragged him down to where he was. “T-tetsu. movee” , he hears your plead. 

“As you say, baby girl.” kuroo starts drilling his cockinside, sliding in and out of you, the head colliding with the gummy walls near your cervix. You were pushed forward with the intensity of his thrust yet the feeling of his prominent vein grinding inside your wall was too heavenly to complain.

It was him and you, intertwined with each other, knocking the door of lust but beneath it was promises of love.  

The grip of his fingers around your hip was deathly. It sure is gonna leave a dent. Kuroo grunts and groans as he watches the base of cock froth with both of your juices. The squelching sound everytime he enters you fills the room along with the slaps of the skin. 

You could feel his balls hitting you right above the clit, light strokes against them making you dizzy . His hands snakes around your stomach, reaching your clit. He takes the nub between his two fingers, rolling them around and pinches it. You squeal at his actions, back bending away from him, but the grip of his arm around keeps you flush. 

“Your pussy is made right for me. Almost made me bust a nut the moment I slid my cock inside, sh-shit. so fucking tight and clenching” , his words are so vile, yet so sweet to hear. He bends down, back flush with his chest as he presses a hoard of kisses around your nape and shoulders. Suckling the skin and leaving out purple marks in its wake. 

“Tetsu..more…you feel so good against me” you cry, eyes rolling with the way he is snapping his hips against yours. The constant assault over your g-spot inside and the clit outside once again announces the impending avalanche. 

“More you say? Greedy girl.” he rasps before hoisting you up, one hand still playing with your clit while the other finding your left breast. 

Cupping the whole fat of it, he squeezes the mound hard. His hips unrelenting with their strokes. The bed creaks from the sudden movement. The headboard banged against the wall once. Now the neighbours are definitely gonna know.

“So fucking beautiful. Truly the best gift ever, princess. I love you so much”,  you turn sideways to face him, his molten amber eyes mirroring the heart eyes you are sending him across. 

You capture his lips in a soft kiss, your hands reaching his face to cradle the sides and pulling the front tufts a little. Vibrations of hums and moans share between you two in the kiss, while both your bodies work on their own accord. The golden light of the  lamp falls over your skin, the golden iridescence  reflecting of your skin makes you nothing less than a fallen angel. The halo like glow of your body makes Kuroo's heart gallop loudly. Makes him wonder how he managed to find someone as perfect as you are.

“Look at the mirror. See how ethereal you look while taking me like that. God really took time while making you” , you chuckle at his cheesy words. No matter how dominant he acts in bed, at the end it was still your dorky, corny Tetsu. 

You zero in the way he fucks you, the outline of his cock visible as he drills into you. A dragged moan fills the air. kuroo kisses around your temple, his thrusts erratically hits you, losing rhythm. You realise he’s close, so you arch your back, feeling more of him inside. Fucking himself inside you. 

Kuroo hisses at the act, his fingers pinching your clit in return. Your walls clamp around his shaft, making him lose all the threads he had been holding onto ever since he buried his face in your cunt.  

“Shit, baby...take me…take all of it. Let's cum together”, his babbles choking in his throat as he thrusts in you one last time before warm ropes of his cum fills your pussy. You came around the same time, pooling his thighs with hot, sticky mess. 

He kisses you throughout the high, a level of euphoria never felt before. He realises he didn’t use any condom today neither did you retorted against it. Kuroo slides out of you, your cunt clenches from the lack of his heavy cock. He gently lays you down, bringing a wet towel and cleaning off the spilled cum from your thighs and his. Your face beams with the post-coital bliss as you spread your arms over your head, breathing heavily. 

“You good?”, kuroo asks, his voice regaining the gentle hold back. You nod, closing your eyes and relaxing yourself. 

“If I knew you’d go this crazy over a lingerie set, I’d have thought it through before buying.” you breathily say, seeing Kuroo’s face turn a little red. The debauchery dawning on him a little.

“You could wear an overalls over a trash bag and I’d still fuck you the same. It’s you who’s this hot”, Kuroo plants a sloppy kiss on your cheek, his hands smoothing your hair. He scoots you over, finding himself a space beside, pulling you against his side. His fingers work through your scalp while you find warmth in his body.

The comfortable setting almost lulling you to sleep before you lurch up, face palming yourself. Kuroo sits back, concerned at your sudden leap, while you look at him with guilty eyes.

“I forgot your actual gift at home, while being too excited for this one.”, you hide your face between your palm, whining and falling back on his chest. A hearty laughter rolls out of Kuroo at your state while he rubs your shoulders. His mind already bent on to tease you.  

“Wanna suck me off to balance that out?” kuroo sends a sly grin your way, his voice holding a glint of tease but really not expecting you to wallow in.

To his surprise, you part away from his chest, face filled with a challenging gleam. Without any words, you straddle him, holding his cock by the base. A dopey smile spreading all over your face. 

“Say less. I’ve been meaning to do that since forever.”

a.n-> aint nobody leaving the house without giving him a sloppy. if tags dont work and it flops then im giving him an even intense sloppy

comments, likes, reblogs are appreciated

tagging : @stsgluver , @kuroosexuall @shotorus + @satoruhour @hannzai @tetzoro @mrs-kurooo @quirrrky @pastelle-rabbit @planetnini @selarina @sookisaurus @itadorey @utahimeow @this-is-still-mia @kamorikiri @shoyostar @screampied-main

[magewritesstories]

[ ɢɪʟᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢɪʀʟꜱ ] ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ

ᴊᴇꜱꜱ ᴍᴀʀɪᴀɴᴏ — ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴄᴀᴛ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ

♠  Jess is the black cat boyfriend no debate

♠  his favourite activities are browsing bookstores in New York to find the most ridiculous books and having movie nights at with home-made pizza

♠  his gifts are usually consist of annotated books and/or CD’s he’s burned for you

♠  so touch starved, like so touch starved, his love language is definitely physical touch

♠  would do just about anything if you just bat your eyelashes at him

ᴘᴀʀɪꜱ ɢᴇʟʟᴇʀ — ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪᴇʀᴄᴇ ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ

♦  study dates, study dates, study dates

♦  probably mistook your flirting for picking a fight until Rory told her that you were flirting with her or you just straight up told her you wanted to kiss

♦  loves to do things for you just because, carrying your bags, making you coffee/tea when you working, because you deserve to be pampered, her love language is acts of service no doubt in my mind

♦  when it comes to gift giving it’s usually offhanded like, “Yeah I saw it in the store and bought it, no big deal.”

♦  she’s pretty stubborn so getting her to do things is hard but she ends up doing them because it’s you, and she would do anything for even if she complains 70% of the time

ʟᴏɢᴀɴ ʜᴜɴᴛᴢʙᴇʀɢᴇʀ — ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴅᴠᴇɴᴛᴜʀᴏᴜꜱ ʙᴏʏꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ

♣  he takes you to so many places, sometimes it’s places he’s been other times he spotted a new restaurant on his way and he decides to take you there next time the two of you go out.

♣  his favourite thing to do is go shopping for you, particularly enjoys buying you clothes and accessories and then seeing you wear them

♣  Logan’s love language is definitely gif giving, and more often than not the gift are expensive (read: birkin bag.)

♣  whenever he plans dates it’s the out there stuff he thinks you’ll enjoy doing, but he doesn’t mind having dinner at home with a good movie or some music either

♣ he would also do anything for you, even the things you ask him to do halfheartedly or jokingly

ʀᴏʀʏ ɢɪʟᴍᴏʀᴇ — ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ɢɪʀʟꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ

♥  her favourite kinds of dates are the calm ones, like browsing bookstores and going to museums

♥  she loves to sit with you on the couch until ungodly hours just talking about random things or having deep conversations, although the ones about the future are her favourites

♥  love language is words of affirmation, mainly because growing up Lorelai thought her how important communication is in all her relationships

♥   Rory doesn’t really like dates in crowded places, she enjoys the occasional concert or outing to a busy place, but low-key dates will always be superior in her opinion

♥ getting her to do something she doesn’t want to is impossible, she’s very stubborn and when she doesn’t want to do something it’s very hard to convince her to do it

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

HAPPY!

green flag traits of "red flag" men inspired by @aesterblaster’s cute kaiser snippet <3 gender neutral reader

if you enjoyed reading this fic, please consider donating to providing aid in palestine!

BAROU SHOUEI!

constantly takes care of you!

Barou isn’t exactly well-known for being an agreeable man, but everyone in the Blue Lock program knows how strict he is with maintaining not only himself but the environment around him. He’s a bit rough around the edges, but he cares for you deeply and does what he can to make sure you’re eating your meals properly and making sure your living quarters are taken care of. Even if you invite him over to your place for a casual date, Barou refuses to sit still until all of your laundry is taken care of and he’s cooked up a nice snack for you. You love joking about how he’s essentially like a husband to you, although Barou will simply grumble at you to take better care of yourself, even if the thought does make him blush a little. He doesn’t mind cleaning up after you, especially if it means making you feel more comfortable, but he’ll still give you an earful when he catches you eating cookies on your bed. 

“What would you even do without me?” Barou grumbles, scrubbing at the dishes in your sink with a renewed fury. “I swear, I leave for a few weeks to deal with a season, and I come back to you living as if your parents never taught you any manners.”

“I had a handful of dirty dishes in the sink. A handful,” you reply, waiting for your boyfriend to wrap up your chores and join you on the couch. “That I didn’t bother to do because I was getting ready in the morning. And you can leave them where they are, Sho. You don’t have to do my work for me.”

Barou frowns, but he doesn’t let go of the dishes. You always make it very clear that he’s not obligated to do any of your dirty work for you, but despite all the chastising he might do, Barou always insists on doing it anyway. You know it’s his way of showing his love for you—lots of heartfelt acts of service to lift even a little bit of the burden off of your shoulders. Even if you tease him for being a softie that would do anything at your beck and call, you’re awfully grateful to have a boyfriend that doesn’t mind picking up after you every now and then.

He places the last dish onto the drying rack and wipes his hands on a kitchen towel, and you reach towards him as he makes his way to you and sits down on the couch. He takes you into his arms, and you cuddle up against his side, grinning up at him like the Cheshire Cat.

“Thanks for doing my dishes for me. Again.” You sneak a kiss onto his cheek as he hums slightly, his face as austere as ever. He’s secretly enjoying this charade though: you can feel the way his hands tighten against your body and the way he melts ever-so-slightly towards the warmth of your body.

“Don’t get used to it,” he grumbles, knowing all too well that you have gotten too used to his pampering and that he would do it again in a heartbeat. “I’m not your maid.”

“Nope, you aren’t.” You pinch his cheek. “You’re something even better! You’re my boyfriend!”

ITOSHI SAE!

horrendously loyal to you!

Sae quite literally knows nothing about the world outside of his life with soccer, so when he first fell for you, he felt less like the soccer prodigy the world had its eyes on and more like a horribly inadequate boyfriend fumbling around to impress you. You’ve been nothing but understanding, but he feels bad that he has nothing but his utter devotion to offer you. You have no issues with it, and Sae finds more and more creative ways to remind you that he really has no one but you. He never says it directly to your face that he’d rather die than have you leave him, but it’s in the way he refuses to let go of your hand when you’re together or how he sends pictures of any and all wedding boutiques he runs across with a not-so-subtle text saying how it's perfect for the two of you. Sae knows it’s way too early to even entertain the thought of marriage, but how can he not, when he’s convinced that you’re his soulmate?

Sae’s grown to enjoy the quiet things in life. He’s never been too big of a fan of the loudness that came with his successful career. Frankly speaking, he could always do without the invasive interviews, the blinding flashes of paparazzi, the frenzy-mongering journalists twisting his words and actions for more clicks on their content. 

Instead he’s found joy in you. There’s the way you make him laugh, your dumb jokes managing to wrench a giggle out of him. It’s the way you urge him to try out the new dessert menu out on a cafe date together, or how you beg him to pleeeeeeease buy a matching set of keychains with his big boy soccer player salary. Sae still has it hanging from his practice bag, and when Aiku found out about it, the captain teased him so badly that the entire team had to hold him back from yanking Aiku’s facial hair out. 

Today is nothing special yet it’s Sae’s entire world. You’re fresh out of the shower, skin still a bit moist from the water, and you’re absentmindedly scrolling on your phone next to Sae in bed. Your attention isn’t even on him, distracted by whatever video you’re watching, yet Sae’s heart swells with so much affection that it’s almost suffocating. He wants to tell you he loves you until his voice gives out, but he knows being too brazen will scare you away. Knowing how to act like a normal boy his age has never been his strong suit, so until the day he can arrives, he settles for squeezing your shoulder and craning his neck to see what you’re watching. 

“Look, Sae!” You hold up the phone, revealing two cats cuddling on your screen. “It’s literally us! You’re the grumpy looking cat right here!”

He scoffs, but his stomach does a backflip when you giggle, saving the video to your camera roll. Sae knows he doesn’t deserve you, not when you deserve someone much softer and kinder and more gentlemanly rather than the awkward boy he is. But it’s these moments that remind you how much you love him too, and inadequacy be damned, Sae will fight tooth and nail to cherish these shared moments with you. 

OLIVER AIKU!

keeps the charm in your relationship!

There’s no denying that Oliver does have a flirtatious streak, and it took a lot of trying on his part to prove his loyalty to you. But as much as you hate to admit it, Oliver is also the kind of boyfriend that knows how to keep the flame in your relationship alive. Underneath the playboy casanova act is a hopeless romantic that loves sweeping you away and showering you with the kind of affection that would leave anyone swooning in their place. He’s the sort of boyfriend that’ll randomly pull you in for a dance while you’re making dinner together in the kitchen or try to serenade you outside your window horribly, only to end up pissing off your neighbors. Even the slow moments are just as entertaining, and Oliver knows how to keep you on your toes. A relationship with him is fun, first and foremost, and he’ll do whatever he can to keep you smiling. 

It’s been one of those kinds of days. The ones where everything seems to go against you. Your clothes don’t look good, you keep tripping over your own feet, and nothing at work or school seems to work out for you. You’re down in the dumps and frankly ready to just curl up in bed to rot away for the rest of the day, so finally being able to go back home sounds like the trumpets at the gates of Heaven.

You practically slam your front door open and hurl your bag onto the couch, letting out a loud groan before nearly collapsing into a heap on the floor. You can hear a pair of soft footsteps pad out towards where you are, and you don’t need to look up to know that it’s your boyfriend.

“Woah there, sugar,” his deep voice sounds from above you, “Everything alright? No beautiful smile for me today?”

You shake your head, stifling another groan. “It’s been a long day, Oli. I’d smile at you if I had anything to smile about.”

“You’ve got me to smile for,” Oliver murmurs. It earns him a long glare from you, and he shoots an apologetic smile in surrender. You let your head sink back onto the floor, but Oliver pads over to where his car keys are, grabbing his jacket before heading back to you.

“How about we go for a quick run then? I’ll get you a few treats: McDonald’s, some candy and drinks, all my treat,” he offers. Your ears perk up at the offer, and Oliver grins, seeing you twitch. “I’ll even let you have aux this time so you can play whatever ear-rotting songs you want to listen to. “

“Even CBAT?”

He rolls his eyes when you peel your face off of the floor, looking at him with such sparkling eyes that he wouldn’t have guessed that this was the same person that came home with a storm cloud above their head. “...Fine. Even CBAT, if that’s what’ll cheer my angel up. Quit moping and get back on your feet. I’m not carrying you all the way to the car.”

“Boo,” you pretend to pout, but you eventually pick yourself up. Oliver offers you a hand for you to cling to, and before you know it, your mood is lifted and you’re driving off with your boyfriend off into the sunset. 

MICHAEL KAISER!

makes it so clear that he’s obsessed with you!

If there is one word to describe how Kaiser is with you, it’s smitten. It’s hard to believe at first: the New Generation 11 striker, head over heels with a nobody like you? You think you’re dreaming when he first asks you out, but despite your constant doubts, Kaiser follows after you like a puppy that doesn’t know how to do anything better. While he would love to parade you around and make sure everybody knows who his heart belongs to, he takes it easy and lets you call the shots as to how extreme he can be. He’s the first thing you wake up to, always sending you a good morning call, and he’s the one fighting with you for the bill whenever you want something (spoiler alert: he always wins). It’s even in the way he holds your hand like it’s a lifeline; Kaiser’s fallen, and he’s fallen hard. He might be standoffish and selfish, but when it comes to you, he’ll do anything to make sure his feelings are known.

Kaiser crosses his arms, his pointed blue eyes leering down at you. His lips pull into a small frown, and he sighs deeply as if something’s troubling him. “You have honestly got to stop doing that.”

You blink, confused. “Stop doing what? I’m not doing anything.”

You really aren’t. You’re on your way back from the kitchen, having fixed yourself a snack. It’s one of those so-called ‘lazy days,’ where you haven’t bothered changing out of your pajamas or even washing your face for that matter. A horribly unglamorous side to show to your world-famous soccer star boyfriend, but if he had an issue with you being lazy, he should have left you a long time ago.

Kaiser’s cheeks tint into a shade of pink, and he grits his teeth. “Just… all of this! It’s bad for my heart!”

You raise an eyebrow. There’s crust all over your eyes, probably some crumbs around your mouth, and you can’t even start to talk about how disheveled you are. And yet, here you are, with Kaiser about to melt into a puddle of goo despite how awful you must look, and you have to admit, it’s quite the sight.

“Awwww, Mihya,” you tease, raising your voice to a mocking sing-song pitch. “Do you think I’m pretty? Gee, you could have just said so.”

Kaiser flushes an even deeper shade of red, burying his face into his hands. “D-Don’t phrase it like that! All I’m saying is that it’s bad for my heart to see you so casually like this! It feels so domestic, and then my stupid brain starts imagining things like living together, and- and- waking up together, and someday even getting married…”

Marriage? This certainly isn’t the first time it’s come up, and you doubt that it’ll be the last. Not that you mind though. If Kaiser’s in this much of a frenzy seeing you doing nothing, you’re going to take that as proof of how absolutely down horrendous this man is. You simply sidle up to him like the minx you are, poking at his cheeks until he’s yelping and trying to run away from you.

You chase him through the hallways, only catching him when you tackle him to the bed. His eyes are blown wide open, and his face is a brilliant shade of tomato crimson. You lean forward, grinning from ear-to-ear like a cat that’s caught its prey. 

“C’mon, don’t get shy on me now. Where’s my insufferable boyfriend now?” You coo. “Pucker up, loverboy, because I’m going in for a kiss!”

x

if you enjoyed reading this fic, please consider donating to providing aid in palestine!

[thezombieprostitute]

Lloyd Hanson - Soulmate AU

A/N: I swear, I tried to ignore him but that only made things worse. @alicedopey didn't help!

Word Count: ~1.8k

Warnings: Reader is kidnapped. Smut. Sub/Dom dynamics vs Dub Con?

The bag is removed from your head and you're finally able to get a look at your surroundings. It's a dark room with one light above the table. It looks like one of those police interrogation rooms in TV shows. The duct tape is ripped from your mouth and you hiss from the pain. You test the bonds around your wrists, tied behind your back, but they're too secure to wiggle out of.

The chair across from you is abruptly pulled back and you're face to face with a tall, broad, blue eyed man with a porn mustache. He's smiling at you. You say nothing, letting your confusion show on your face. He rolls up his shirt sleeve and you see his soulmate tattoo. It's an exact match for yours.

"You couldn't have just bought me a coffee," you ask, trying to keep from snapping.

"Sweetheart," he coos, "you're my soulmate. I have to get you used to what the rest of your life is going to be."

You raise an eyebrow at that, "I'm going to constantly be kidnapped and talk with over-the-top idiots?"

He laughs at your comeback, "not quite. But I do have a lot of enemies and I gotta make sure my soulmate doesn't panic, cry and rat me out if they get picked up." He leans forward and rests his arms on the table. "And I gotta say, you are a champ!"

"I'm good at getting kidnapped," you deadpan. "What a wonderful compliment."

"Not easily scared, sassy and sarcastic," he croons. "You really are my soulmate." He winks and you roll your eyes.

"How did you find me," you ask. "I rarely, if ever, let my soulmate tattoo show."

"Someone used a rare photo of your mark to draw me in," he admits. "Imagine my surprise when it was someone trying to kill me."

"And from there you were able to find me," you nod. "Any chance of untying me, now that you know I'm not trying to kill you?"

"I dunno," he leers, "I'm kinda getting hard at the thought of you being so helpless to stop me."

"I swear to whatever deity will listen, I can and will bite you. Literally and metaphorically."

"Metaphorically?"

"The reason you like me being tied up is because your limp dick needs to feel like it's actually capable of leaving some kind of imprint."

"Ouch!" He moves his hand over his heart, "you weren't kidding, Sunshine. That really hurt!" He leaned forward even more, grinning like a Cheshire cat, "do it again."

"The only reason you don't shave your mustache is because you enjoy getting looks from people because you're a needy man-baby who needs the attention."

"Ooooh, that feels so good," he leans back, chuckling. He makes a motion and someone comes up behind you and undoes your bindings.

"Thank you," you nod, rubbing your wrists.

"Ah, I was wondering where the niceness was." You raise your eyebrow again, silently asking him what he meant. "You work with people a lot and always get such glowing customer service reviews. That means you can at least pretend to be nice. But when I dig further, I find that you're a good neighbor who helps the old lady carry in her groceries. Helps the kiddies with their homework. All that wholesome stuff."

"I have social skills," you retort. "Kinda required for the job."

"You don't have a job anymore." You don't try to hide your surprise at that statement. His tone goes stern for the first time, "I can't have my soulmate wasting her time on other people. All of that goodness you do for others? You're gonna do it for me and only me from now on. I get to be the only outlet for your kindness and you're gonna pamper me every time I'm home."

“No I'm not.”

“Excuse you? I don’t see that you have much of a choice here Sweetie.”

“Not my fault you lack the imagination to see my options.” 

“Your options are to either tend to my every want and need or wallow in a basement on starvation rations.” You smile at him and enjoy the momentary drop in his confidence. “You will give me everything I want. In return, I’ll give you everything money can buy.” You throw your head back and laugh at that. He’s squirming a little, wondering what the hell is going on.

“You can have my submission when you earn it,” you coo. “And you don’t earn it by buying it.” You lean forward, putting yourself in his personal space. 

“What the hell is going on?”

You roll up your sleeve to show Lloyd the matching soulmate tattoo and put your arm next to his. At the first touch of your hand, you both feel the electricity that confirms the two halves have met. You reach out and gently rub his cheek with your hand and he leans into it, gently moaning before he catches himself. 

“You see, even though I don’t know your name, I can see right through you. Your reactions to my snipes and my politeness were quite telling. You do crave attention but you’ve only ever been good at getting negative attention. A soulmate could give you that positive attention you long for. Why else would you actually come looking for me? You could keep up that attention seeking behaviour without involving me but you put yourself at risk for the chance at meeting someone who might be kind to you. Who might like you, if only because they have to.”

“My name is Lloyd,” he grumbles.

“Thank you, Lloyd. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but you definitely started on the wrong foot.” 

He goes silent but he doesn’t stop your hand rubbing his cheek. He wants to be angry at you. He wants to follow through on his display of force. But he can’t do that. He makes another hand motion and a door opens. He stands up, comes around the table and lifts you up out of your chair. 

“I don’t appreciate not being in control, Sweetheart,” he growls at you. “I may want all of your affection but I will not hesitate to use force if you try to take control from me ever again.”

“As I said, you can have my submission when you’ve earned it.”

“And how do I do that? You turned down my offer of everything money can buy.”

“Treat me like a queen or goddess, not a pet.”

Lloyd takes a deep breath and starts walking towards the door, taking you with him. You manage to keep pace as he leads you through several hallways, up some stairs and finally emerging into, what you can easily assume to be, a mansion. He doesn’t stop to let you take too close of a look. He leads up the wide staircase, to a set of double doors. He pushes them open and you see a giant, canopy bed. You also see things that, while you can’t name them, you're pretty sure they’re meant for BDSM activities. 

He pulls you towards him, wrapping you in his arms, and forces your face up to look at him. “You’re not the only one who can read people, Sweetheart,” he purrs. “You enjoy being a bratty, submissive slut. You want someone who can properly dominate you, satisfy that craving your cunt aches for.”

He walks you to the bed as he keeps talking, “you always tried to hide your tattoo because it was your one rebellion against a world that makes you feel helpless. You are kind to your neighbors because you’re too stubborn to let your customer service job kill your soul.”

He pushes you onto all fours on the bed and smacks your ass. “And your unusual calm at being kidnapped? You expect the world to fuck you over.” He smacks your ass again and you bite back a moan. “You expect things to be out of your control so you don’t sweat it when you’re proven right.” He smacks your ass a few more times and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. As soon as he hears it he chuckles. “You don’t want to be treated like a pet? Fine.” He spanks you again. “But I won’t treat you like a goddess or a queen.” Another slap. “I’m gonna treat you like the dirty slut you’ve always wanted to be.” Another slap. “And I’ll make sure you never feel you have to be more than just the cock hungry whore you really are.” 

The spanking continues, hard, fast and painful, until your arms give out. Lloyd reaches his arms around you and pulls you up so that your back is flush against his muscular chest. One hand holds you up by your neck. His other hand reaches under your clothes and smirks at how wet you are. He gathers up some of the slick and starts rubbing circles over your clit. You start whining and gasping at the sensations but you don’t dare move your hips. You’re certain he’ll stop if you do anything he doesn’t tell you to and you don’t want this to stop. 

He whispers in your ear, “so long as you never try to wrestle control from me again, I’ll treat how you really want to be treated.” His fingers move faster and you whimper from how close you are. “Not like a queen or a goddess, no. Not a pet, either.” You’re focused on not moving, trying to make sure that his fingers continue to work their magic. “I’ll treat you like my dirty little slut who will do anything so long as I let her cum.” 

His grip on your neck tightens and he whispers, “cum for me.” Your orgasm hits you harder than you ever thought possible. He keeps his fingers moving as he whispers “such a good slut.” As the ecstasy ebbs your legs start shaking and he lays you down on your back. 

Lloyd licks his fingers and moans appreciatively. He pulls off your pants and underwear, whistling appreciatively at the mess you’ve made of your panties. You try to lift yourself on your elbows but he pushes you back down. “You move when I tell you to, Sweetheart,” he orders, his tone making you whimper. He winks at you, “now let me show you the real reason I keep this mustache.”

[hyunnieshannie]

SKZ: In Bed

A shit show of a conversation was started in my writers club discord (Feel free to join!) with @maeleelee & @d4vekat-otp so here are my unhinged thoughts about how SKZ are in bed:

CHAN: SUB / SWITCH (SUB LEANING)

-He has so much control right now, even if it may not seem like it sometimes he just needs someone else to take control.

-Needs to be loved on and pampered, he's tired of taking care of his 7 kids all day

-Would love just being told what to do

-Seriously just tell him what to do, let him turn his brain off for once.

-SO SO SO in love with a calm, sweet, after care ritual:

- cuddling,

- kisses,

-a bath,

-snackies,

-hot chocolate,

- just be gentle with him after <3

MINHO: SOFT DOM

-Everyone imagines Lino as a hard dom. me included. based on his looks and demeanor but what if we based it off how he looks at Jisung?

-Suddenly the man is softer than SoonDoonDori

-Consent is sexy KING: asks if you're okay with everything he does

-SO SO SO passionate

-Gentle unless asked not to be

-Will bring the cats in after sex to let you cuddle up to them because he loves seeing his four babies all together.

-"want me to make you a snack?"

-SO MANY KISSES

-TIGHT cuddles, man will literally NOT let you go

-Would check in to make sure you're not hurt anywhere if he got 'too rough'

-Gives you his hoodie and sweats to sleep in

-HELPS YOU change into everything because "I'm changing the saying from No one helps you once you're fucked." (he's a lil dumb sometimes, he's doing his best okay?)

CHANGBIN: SWITCH (Depending on the day)

-Loves a good rough fuck

-but GOD WOULD HE LOVE being taken care of.

-Either manhandles you with his thicc muscles

- or pouts for you to be gentle with him

-IMMACULATE aftercare (HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SWEET HE IS WITH HIS MOM AND SISTER? HE WAS RAISED RIGHT AND KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN)

-Massages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Bubble Baths <3

-Would CARRY you to the bath <3 (Even if you can still walk. he WILL carry you)

-HE PREPARES!!! Whether he assumes he's gonna get some, or not, hes ALWAYS prepared for what you'll need after just in case! (Like water and snacks, or advil) (he do get a little sleepy after sex please cuddle him)

-PRAISES THE FUCK OUT OF HIS PARTNER 100% SO SO SWEET. "You're doing so good," "You take me so well" JKBDSFJKBVSFKJBGSKJDFVBG

HYUNJIN: SERVICE TOP / SOFT DOM

-Soft boy, Shy when people compliment his looks BUT

-Behind closed doors, he KNOWS. He KNOWS hes hot. and uses it against you

-He's a slut (lovingly)

-LOVES roleplay LOVES being a character so he can forget he was shy earlier about receiving a compliment

-PRAISES YOU "you're so perfect." | "More beautiful than any art piece in any museum" | "Made just for me,"

-SENSUAL ASF

-He wants to be in control, but doesn't want to hurt you ever, only wants to make you feel good

-Will sketch you naked while you look fucked out (paint me like one of your french girls)

-The Most EXTREME Aftercare (it's such a long process)

-Will not let you lift a single finger, while he massages you, helps you bathe, puts lotion on you, gives you a face mask, changes you, and ultimately puts you to bed

-KISSES ALL OVER YOUR FACE before you fall asleep <3

JISUNG: SOFT DOM

-STOP DOING HANJI WRONG AND CALLING HIM BITCHLESS, WHO ARE WE KIDDING? HES NOT BITCHLESS AND WE ALL KNOW IT

-BIAS WRECKS EVERYONE EVERY SINGLE CB? EVEN IF JISUNG ISN'T YOUR BIAS... HE'S STILL YOUR BIAS.

-JISUNG MAY BE SHY BUT HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.

-LOVES EDGING. (Ignores us on bubble forever, knows we want him, knows EXACTLY when to drop content, and leave us begging him for more)

-HEAD GAME STRONG. PROVE ME WRONG RN.

-LOVES watching you beg for him. "I don't think you deserve it though-"

-WHORE (lovingly)

-WOULD SEXT YOU WHILE EITHER ONE OF YOU IS IN AN IMPORTANT MEETING "How bad do you want me right now?"

-AFTER CARE INCLUDES CUDDLES AND ANIME

-LIKE SO MUCH ANIME (FOKN WEEB)

-Showers TOGETHER. you're not allowed to go in there alone wtf??

FELIX: HARD DOM. / BRAT TAMER

-WHY EVERYONE THINK HES A SUB??

-HATES being seen as a pretty, fragile, princess

-NEEDS to take out his frustrations but what BETTER way than to show his partner whos in charge (Spoiler: It's Him.)

-The type to fuck you against the wall

-Seriously. He wants to pick you up and fuck you against any flat surface he can find- especially- when you piss him off.

-Leaves SO MANY marks on you. "Everyone needs to know who you belong to."

-LOVES face fucking. L O V E S it

-PRAISES YOU (if you deserve it) "Just like that, you're doing so good"

-IF YOU DONT DESERVE IT THO: "Stupid little whore, forgot whos in charge again huh?" (NOT HAPPY. STILL SO HOT OF HIM THO)

-SWEET BABY DURING AFTERCARE, WHOLE 180 CHANGE, "Baby what do you need?" "are you ok my love?" "Thank you for letting me get my anger out..." SO SO SO SO SO SOFT

SEUNGMIN: HARD DOM. FULL ON SADIST.

-Man isn't just a dom. He's a mother fucking SADIST

-Teases you until you cry

-LOVES making you angry/frustrated

-LOVES watching you fight back (like the brat you are)

-LOVES it more to see you lose the fight (Source: Trust me bro)

-TOYS TOYS TOYS.

-LOVES Using toys to overstimulate you.

-THE TYPE TO DO GUIDED MASTRUBATION

-LOVES the power he has over you!!!!!!!!!

-DENIAL. DENIAL. DENIAL. THIS IS BEYOND EDGING. ONE WRONG MOVE AND HE WILL DENY YOU AT LEAST 7 TIMES.

-JEALOUS FUCKING. "so you wanna act up in front of other guys? REMEMBER who fucking OWNS you."

-AFTERCARE IS SO NICE WITH HIM THO. HES A TOTAL PUPPY. Following you around to make sure you're okay, like a dog with its tail between its legs he needs lots of attention, cuddles and kisses. He loves you SO Much, he can't help his jealousy issues...

JEONGIN: HARD DOM

-DOESNT want to be Baby bread. HES SAID IT. (he wants to be Daddy Toast fr)

-Hes SO innocent looking? RED FLAG. HES 100% A WHORE (Lovingly)

-LOVES using his hands and his tongue

-Will over stimulate you with them before he even THINKS of fucking you

-When he DOES fuck you, the grip he has on your body will leave bruises on you for a week

-WOULD MARK YOU SO MUCH

-Wants YOU to mark him in forms of hickeys or scratches

-CHOKING - HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HANDS???????????? (Chanting: BREATH PLAY, BREATH PLAY, BREATH PLAY yeah. Im part of the breath play cult...)

-ALL THE KINKS, HES A FUCKING F R E A K "You see me as a baby? I'm about to prove you wrong little fox."

-WANTS YOU TO WEAR A FUCKING COLLAR WITH HIS NAME ON THE TAG. "You're mine. don't fucking forget it."

-SUCH A BABY DURING AFTERCARE. WANTS CUDDLES, WOULD NUZZLE INTO YOU, BABY FOX IS VERY SHY AFTER LETTING OUT HIS DOM SIDE ON YOU.

Tags @chanlixiiee @amalieworldidk @jaebaebaegot7 @maeleelee @iadorethemskz @maenijw @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats @jinniespuppy @painstakingly-juno @lethallyprotected @elizalabs3 @jisungsbff01 @seungminslittlepup

[deathbysnakes]

What it's like Dating Scaramouche (Fatui Scaramouche)

Scaramouche x reader (Romantic)

Message to the people that follow me:I'm sorry for not uploading that often, I've been trying to come up with a unique scenario but I eventually gave up and decided to make this sense the month is almost over.

Warnings:Swearing/ Scaramouche being a asshole/Ooc (but literally all my posts are ooc), Dottore threatening the readers life

Pronouns:He/Him (Scaramouche), You/Your (Reader)

Fluff/ A tiny bit of agnst

Explanation:Just what it's like to date Fatui Harbinger Scaramouche.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Very hesitant and distant when you first started dating him, but still kept a close eye on you. To no one's surprise, expected you to break up with him in like...Four days or so.

Became more and more clingy and protective overtime, he's always holding on to your hand and public and glaring at everyone (probably hissed at someone who was staring at you two for to long)

Tries to talk more nicely to you but sometimes he actually calls you a idiot, he mumbles sorry when it happens, he's still got a lot of pride after all.

When you're asleep or he thinks you're asleep he'll tell you he loves you, if you weren't asleep and you decide to tell him that you heard him say that, he'll immediately deny it.

If the other harbingers found out about you, Tartaglia, La Signora and some of Dottores clones would tease him so much, Archons forbid that Dottore finds out about you, Dottore will threaten your life if Scaramouche is not cooperating with him, it works really well too and gets Scaramouche to cooperate.

He really loves being pampered by you but won't admit it, but you can tell, he always leans into your touch and will sometimes sigh in relaxation of your touch. I strongly think that he likes head and chin scratches, like a cat does.

Be prepared to wake up with Scaramouches arms around you, and is grip is strong af, but it doesn't hurt you, if you want him to let go you'll have to wake him, and he will immediately blame you for waking up this way.

Please let him vent to you, he really needs it, of course, if you let him vent to you, he'll let you vent to him, it's one of the few moments where his not being mean. He's not that good at comforting but he will try his best to comfort you.

If you fall sick, he will NOT trust Dottore to take care of you, he will get the best doctors in Snezhnaya to take care of you, and he will rush them so much, he's less mean to you when you're sick and will baby you without the cooing, if anything he's very flustered throughout the whole thing and avoiding eye contact with you.

I think his love language is acts of service, but he always acts like he didn't do it the next day and denies the whole thing, he says it was probably just a dream you had or you where hallucinating.

[dollmaidcrystal]

The Inhabitants of Mistress Aspyce’s Household

Name: Crystal Occupation: Full-time rubberdoll / sissy maid Orientation: Flexible Bio: Crystal retired early from her to career to a life of being Mistress Aspyce’s full time rubber sissy. Her “retirement” has kept her busier than a 9-5 job ever did, thanks to her duties keeping Mistress’s house clean, being a rubber bondage toy, and servicing Mistress’s guests at parties. She’s never been happier. Streaming Guilty Pleasure: "'Tis Time for "Torture," Princess". It's the chillest show about being kept in a torture dungeon ever.

Name: Mistress Aspyce Occupation: Small business owner / Amateur dominatrix Orientation: Equal parts heterosexual and in denial Bio: Previously the puppygirl of a failed leather household, Aspyce has seen so many ways wielding power has caused the people around her to self-destruct. When her leather family collapsed, Aspyce decided she would do better if she was ever the one in charge. Today, Mistress Aspyce runs both her own business and a small rubberist household. Streaming Guilty Pleasure: Classic Disney "Silly Symphonies", like "The Cookie Carnival" and "The China Shop". They're so simple, yet endlessly creative!

Name: Nonsense Occupation: 🐶 Orientation: Neutered, but still humping Bio: Nonsense is a dog. He does dog things. He enjoys running around, chewing, sniffing, and sleeping in Crystal’s bed. Having lived his entire life in a house full of rubberdolls, guests with sissy slaves, and a hidden bondage dungeon, he's gotten very chill about all the fetish stuff around him. Streaming Guilty Pleasure: "101 Dalmatians". There is a bad woman who wants to hurt puppies, but the good dogs save the puppies instead! It's like the best story ever! Note from Nonsense: "I have no problems with Zootopia, but Mommy and her friends need to stop making me watch the howling scene. I'm a doodle. Doodles don't howl to mark territory. We rely on a complicated system of social contract and negotiation. I'm not going to howl, no matter how much you want to post it to TikTok."

Name: Chie Occupation: Petgirl and newlywed wife of Master N / Mistress Aspyce’s “sister” Likes: Previously the kittygirl of a failed leather household, Chie learned that being in charge is a mug’s game. It’s far better to have the freedom of being a pampered pet than have to worry about gross things like employment and bills. She’s currently living with her master thousands of miles away, but she still manages to be a frequent source of chaos in the Aspyce house. Streaming Guilty Pleasure: Cats don't feel any guilt about streaming vast quantities of anime, but "Apothecary Diaries" is really good.

[vulpisnocturna]

Heacanons about what Itachi would be like in a relationship with female!reader who's also a ninja?

SFW

- Itachi is CLINGY. He is absolutely, madly, desperately in love with you (he’s an Uchiha, they only feel the deepest, most dramatic love) and he wants to be in contact with you at all times. You’re reading a book? Why are you not lying on top of him? He’ll be your pillow. You’re making lunch? He’s following you around and hugging you from behind. You’re sleeping? Don’t you dare sleep without his arms holding you. You’re strolling around the village? HOLD. HIS. HAND.

- Kisses. Itachi loves kisses. He is one of those guys that will kiss your lips, smile slightly and go “one more” and then “one more” and then just another one. He loves kissing your forehead, your knuckles, your hair. After sex, Itachi needs kisses. He needs you to be prepared to have your face peppered with kisses. And even during sex, he will need you to constantly make out with him.

- Don’t you dare lift a hand in the house. Itachi has got it covered. He will make it his mission to clean, make you the perfect packed lunch, cook your favourite foods. His partner shouldn’t have to do any labour. Just sit back and relax.

- More on this point, Itachi’s love languages are acts of service and quality time. He loves doing the little things with you, whether that’s sitting in silence, reading together, cooking together or going on a nice walk. Sometimes it’s hard with you both being on missions, but he will make time for you

- He never forgets the important dates. It’s your birthday? Itachi’s got the whole day down with activities like he’s planned a chess game. It’s your anniversary? He’s taking you out for dinner and showing up with flowers

- He would 100% pick up all the stray cats and show up with a new one every month

- He loves having a bath with you and washing your hair. Let him pamper you, girl. He’s a self-care king, and he wants to do a hair mask with you

- He loves when you play with his hair

- He’s definitely tailing you when you’re on a mission because he doesn’t think your teammates are good enough and he needs to make sure you’re safe

- He will never tell you that, though

- He brings up the topic of having children at least once a week, even just as a fantasy. He wants to be able to be with them a lot, and he’s busy with missions, but he’s also dying to have a child with you. Give him a break. He’s an Uchiha

- When you’re on your period, Itachi’s making you a hot water bottle, buying you snacks, checking in on you every ten minutes to the point he’s overbearing, but you don’t mind because he’s so sweet and worried :’)

- Loves it when you offer to cook for him. If you’re a horrible cook, he will still eat everything and tell you it was amazing. But don’t worry, he’ll handle it next time

- Anyone treated you badly or hurt you? They have mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again

- He gets shy with pda, apart from holding your hand

- He smiles all the time when he listens to you talk about your day, asks questions and lets you rant to your heart’s content <33

- He’s secretly jealous and possessive. He’s lost practically everything he had in his life, and he doesn’t think he deserves you, so he’s scared of losing you to another man. This leads to a lot of intimidating stares and the occasional genjutsu to get them to back off

[prettyboykatsuki]

idk if i sent this ask already but the feeling is so much stronger now. i want to baby those bllk men so much theyre so insufferably lovesick its so delightful

me about isagi so bad . him and rin and bachira i would not be able to stop myself from cooing at them. it is some kind of sickness and disease. i genuinely think about it so much KJDSFHFKJD. it makes up so much of my bllk daydreaming....

isagi is my beloved so forreal but being honest there is something . something about rin itoshi that makes me want to coddle him so fucking badly KJFDSJSDK. i know he would hiss and bite at me like cat but i want to do it so bad... i need to pinch his cheek... need to praise him... i can't believe what writing him has done to me i didn't even like the guy a couple months ago .

but he is just sooo... he truly activates the worst of my service top habits. its such a sickness anon it literally plagues me to think about it.

its the same for isagi though i think his reaction is a bit more cutesy when he's being pampered. it's sweet and thoughtful - very charming in a diff way from rin !!! he's like ... quite embarrassed and incredibly loveable the whole itme. isagi appreciates the being pampered and he's good at adapting to his partner, though he can't fully let himself indulge in it (a pride thing). rin is also embarassed but he wants to fight about it.

the only who really lets you spoil spoil him though is in my mind bachira. he loveeesss being spoiled and looked after and kissed and cuddled and he will simply not feel any embarrassment about it ever. he IS your baby and everyone should know actually. he will crawl into your lap or have you pulled into his... actively asks you for praise and attention (and gets . alarmingly aggressive when you're busy. he is a danger to society) but when he's happy he's like a docile sweetheart.

[notallsandmen]

Retired Dream as Hot Mess Malewife

I think retired Dream / Morpheus would be the most useless malewife in history.

When Death drops him on Hob’s doorstep, the division of labour is pretty non-existent — he’s a former king in friendly exile, and he is very magnanimously allowing himself to be pampered by Hob. But after a while, he would try to help out with the chores when Hob is at work.

However, without being tapped into the Collective Unconscious, Dream’s ability to choose and critically evaluate his sources is… somewhat shaky.

Hob starts him out on a good note, leaving him with a few Marie Kondo books. Things go fairly well, even though Dream ends up colour-coding the wardrobe according to some colour system that human retinas can’t perceive.

But then Hob goes to a conference, and Dream insists that he is perfectly capable of caring for one cat and 20 overnurtured houseplants for five days. What could possibly go wrong?

Dream reads several books on housework, but he can’t seem to finish any tasks before getting derailed by the narrative, turning every chore into one of those endless blog essays you have to scroll through before getting to the damn recipe. Even the simple act of hoovering has to involve a long-winded story about getting out of an MLM scam, forgiving backstabbing siblings, and finding your inner goddess.

Everything escalates when Dream discovers housewife milf porn.

Hob gives up and gets a roomba.

Dream refuses to admit that he hates the roomba with a passion, and instead proceeds to Lady Macbeth-manipulate the cat into throwing up on the roomba until the motor breaks.

Hob throws in the towel altogether and pays for a cleaning service. Dream takes up yoga and comfortable day drinking.

All is well.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Goldenheart love languages HCs (spicy below the cut)

Movie! Ambrosius:

-PHYSICAL TOUCH PHYSICAL TOUCH PHYSICAL TOUCH

-Words of affirmation (he just wants Bal (and anyone he loves platonically/familially) to know exactly how important they are to him!!

-He never received much physical touch growing up in a stuffy family and his innate craving of it multiplied when he grew up. Alternatively he received LOTS of praise (as well as criticism) all the time for everything so communicating praise comes easily to him

Ballister (Boldheart):

-PHYSICAL TOUCH PHYSICAL TOUCH PHYSICAL TOUCH (this man is a cat)

-Gift giving/receiving

He grew up as an orphan in poverty, he never really got to receive nice things so when people go out of their way to give him something, even something small like a candy bar, and ESPECIALLY something thoughtful, it means the world to him. He tries to push that forward by making gifts for others. As for touch? It just makes him feel secure and cared for in a way he usually lacks

Comic! Ambrosius:

-P H Y S I C A L T O U C H x 1000 (significantly more severe than his movie version. Which is really fucking saying something)

-Quality time (he is generally a bit codependent and wants to be around Ballister and his platonic loved ones whenever possible)

This man is. The touchiest AND clingiest human alive. He never wants to not be touching Ballister. He never wants to not be AROUND Ballister. He was like this his entire life (since meeting him and yes, including the 15 year spat when he'd make up the stupidest fucking excuses to be around "foiling his plans"). Even when they were little and not romantically involved, he wanted to always be cuddling and playing together. After being apart for so long, he is functionally a barnacle. He learns to be comfortable on his own, but he still prefers Ballister's company because he makes him feel safe and loved

Ballister (Blackheart):

-Quality Time

-Acts of Service

He likes to take care of people he cares about and share his passions with them. He definitely values his alone time A LOT (unlike Ambrosius who is at best just comfortable with alone time and more often just tolerates it) but he really does hate being lonely and loves knowing there's someone waiting to spend time with him when he's ready. He also likes taking care of the people he loves and making sure their needs are met, such as when he fretted over taking care of Nimona when she was shot and, after the Comic's events, helping take care of Ambrosius when he was too injured to take care of himself.

Spicy below (elaborating on physical touch lol)

Movie:

Ambrosius is Very Into body worship. He wants to make Ballister feel the absolute maximum amount of pleasure at all times. He wants his man absolutely shaking because he feels so good. The more he is touching Ballister, the better. Ballister is extremely bashful about this, but through the years he's learned to love it. It has the desired effect of making him feel very loved and pampered, plus it makes Ambrosius happy! Ballister also very much likes to be praised, it will get his motor running pretty instantly when done in even a slightly flirtatious tone of voice. Ambrosius takes full advantage of this, because it makes Ballister completely weak in the knees and allows Ambrosius to clearly communicate how much he means to him!

Comic:

These mfs are kinky you cannot change my mind. They had a lot of trust issues and anger to work through and I think that would have helped them. Their BDSM activities satisfy all of their love languages, because obviously it involves touch and quality time, and Ambrosius literally "serves" Ballister by being submissive for him, and Ballister also takes care of him which feels like an act of service as well. They both enjoy when Ambrosius is pushed to the absolute limit of pleasure/pain that his body and mind can handle, and they both enjoy the cuddles and gentle affirmations and care that follow when Ambrosius is so overstimulated that he's shaking and sobbing.

[boxwinebaddie]

so i was shooting the shit with the girlies in the group chat earlier and we were talking about the great outdoors, which, of course, are great to everyone...EXCEPT JERSEYKYLE who is basically a spoiled brat and pampered house cat and the only thing he thinks would be great about the outdoors...is if one of them would Fucking OPEN and take him back inside to civilization, cable tv and air conditioning.

like i think in the future when j.k. is working his full-time guidance counsellor job ( mr. bro, you are everything to me, baby ) they coerce him ( probably with pastries, paid vacation time and peer pressure ) into chaperoning the 5th grade weekend overnight camping fieldtrip, which ravenstanley marsh, of course, tells him is a great idea and it’d be fun to be out in the forest....It Was NAUGHT.

i am picturing him in like the big puffy orange jacket and like the grown up version of the green ushanka/ear muffs, shivering, snifflin, shrieking, crying about bears or red, blotchy, completely sunburned, totally bugging about bugs, tear-gassing everything with insecticide,

ready to End It All...

meanwhile future ravenstan, who i like to think went back to school, minored in wildlife, became an badass emergency travel veterinarian, is constantly on the move and on location ( and by that i mean like srsly impoverished third world countries, the amazon rainforest, rural new zealand where they desperately need vets, australia with all the shit that can fkn Kill You, buttfuck -40 siberia saving the polar bears )

working with non-profit wildlife protection and conservation efforts, has a little squad of hyper-vigilant zoomanitarian search and rescue emergency animal doctors that specifically head to dangerous places doing intense emt roadside surgeries, goth boy apothecary hot boy shit, foraging for supplies, making life-saving medicine out of tiny mushrooms and pieces of tree bark, running through fields with possible landmines in it to save endangered species, going full emo indistana jones adventuring and saving the world as captain stanet in no mans land w/ all his tattoos and piercings ( hero KING! )

...just pointing and laughing at teacher yersey when he finally gets thirty min of service on the helicopter flying out of snake island, brazil having nearly escaped having his flesh melted off by pit vipers doing important smart boy science research on different poisons and his fiancé calls him bc he got a bug bite and he thinks he's Cooked.

live laugh love ravesey style, everybody.

[thegreatyin]

26 27 30 36... Scoundrel and Scientist. Also gimme the cufflink saga already.

IM STILL PIECING THE SNIPPETS TOGETHER IM SORRY I KNOW IVE TAUNTED YALL WITH ALLUSIONS TO IT FOR AGES JDFHDHDJDK

26 - What would be their ideal romance? Did they find a perfect match already, is it still a work in progress, or have they experienced something out of their expectations?

The Scoundrel's ideal partner would probably be someone willing to put up with her... everything. Either because they don't care, or because they indulge her to her heart's content. Someone able to back up her wildest dreams (or even fulfill them) while still being there at the end of the day to kiss her head and tell her it's all going to turn out okay.

She thinks this someone is Wines. It is not Wines.

The Scientist's ideal partner... is a lot more broad, and also simultaneously a bit more narrow.

See, he's fine with just about anyone, theoretically. All he wants is someone he can live for, and work to protect. He doesn't even care if he gets the same in return. Ideally someone patient, and clever, and maybe a little bit terrifying- someone he can trust completely and utterly-

But he doesn't really care about any of that. He just wants someone he can get along with. Someone he can almost feel safe around. He doesn't care about anything else.

-

27 - What is their romance’s theme song?

The Hatsune Miku cover of Poison. And Butcher Vanity.

...oh, you meant general romance, not together. That's, admittedly trickier.

And by "trickier" I mean "I'm stumped". I have absolutely no idea. I've never thought about it before. Consider this an open invitation for y'all to come in and suggest romance songs, because I'm kind of at a loss rn

-

30 - What is their love language?

The Scoundrel gives gifts. A lot of gifts. If you've actually, sincerely, unironically, somehow, against every odd in the universe, thoroughly captivated them, you'd get absolutely smothered in more gifts than anyone could hope to count. Extravagant ones, too.

Like.

They're the kind of person who thinks a comically expensive romantic dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in the country is "modest". They're the kind of person who'd send you hourly updates on how their day is going because they think you genuinely unironically need to know this pressing information because you love them and they love you back. They're the kind of person who spends hours trying and failing to win a giant stuffed animal at a carnival because you said it looked cute and they want to impress and pamper you.

They're the kind of person who spends half of their fortune supplying Mr Wines' revels because they think they're getting such an insanely good grade in flirting and serving and being such a good sexy appealing lover for their stupid horrible drunken crush that won't even give them a second glance-

I mean. Uh. Ahem. Clears throat.

Gift-giving. They like gift-giving.

The Scientist on the other hand- he's pretty squarely split between acts of service and quality time. I don't compare him to a cat for nothing. He's either actively being "useful" to people, or he's sitting with them in silence for 2 hours straight while they do an unrelated task in the same general vicinity.

He considers the latter to be fantastic socializing.

-

36 - What would they gift to their partner or their best friends to show their affection?

See the Scoundrel's aforementioned answer about giant stuffed animals and supplying revels. But also flower bundles. And honey. And bundled flowers dipped in honey. They feel like the type to gift what they like because they're under the impression that their favorite things are universal favorite things.

As for the Scientist... he's admittedly not the best at sending gifts, but he certainly tries? His gifts are way more humble. Way more small. Like the results of an interesting experiment, or a cool puzzle he thought up, or a handmade scrapbook that's not exactly good insomuch as it is unbelievably sincere. Tiny nerdy trinkets that won't mean much to an onlooker, but end up being super soft and sentimental to those in the know.

Also, I could see him knitting a bunch of stuff. Little winter hats, scarves, gloves, the works. It's sweet. He's sweet.