#Castlevania incorrect quotes

[skyeconch]

Y/N : WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THESE YEARS?! ⁽⁽(੭ꐦ •̀Д•́)੭*⁾⁾

Alucard : sleeping (ˊ•͈◡•͈ˋ)

Y/N : for 300 years (,,•���‎ࡇ•᷅,,)?!

Alucard : yeah?? ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Alucard: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.

Sypha: So you're going to wait until Trevor is in danger and save him?

Alucard: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts him in danger and then save him.

Sypha:...

Sypha, under her breath: this is going to be fun.

[ineedmoretrevorcardcontent]

*Trevor & Sypha get sent to prison*

Sypha: Who has enough money to bail us out?

Trevor: I would call Alucard but I feel safer in jail.

[regaliasonata]

Olrox: Baptizing that bitch with this dick.

Mizrak:

[whosbex]

Alucard: I slept for 12 hours what did I miss?

Trevor: my dick

Alucard:oh thank God I thought I missed something big.

[syphacard-castlevania]

Sophie/Sypha: I wonder what Alucard disguised himself as? Surely not a crow. Can't be a pigeon, he's too flamboyant for that.

[A dog passes by]

Sophie/Sypha: That could be him.

Castlevania x Howl's Moving Castle - Incorrect quotes

Alucard and Sypha as Howl and Sophie

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

My blorbo is being put in a situation.

[cod-dump]

Woods: I'm a nice person, I am. I know how to be nice to people.

Mason: No you do not.

Woods: Yes I do!

Adler: Then why has every story you've told involved you arriving somewhere and getting punched in the face?

Woods: That's because everyone else is an asshole.

Adler: See?

[incorrect-esmp-quotes]

Pixlriffs: An Egyptian deity has two souls called the ba and the ka.

Pixlriffs: The first is present in the blood.

Pixlriffs: The second is in the goddesses heart which is preserved in her mummy.

Sausage: Why did she give her heart to her mother?

Pixlriffs: [grunts in confusion]

[one-in-a-million-fishsticks]

Grant: "What's your most unconventional way of dealing with a vampire?"

Trevor: "Easy question. Drinking an excessive amount of holy water."

Grant: "And?....."

Trevor: "And then you just let the vampire willingly bite you, I kind of imagine that it would be like flexing your muscle as a mosquito bites you, you kind of just watch it fill up and explode."

Alucard: "Well, that's a terrifying mental image."

Trevor: "Alternatively, you could just build a church around their coffin."

Alucard: "Elaborate on that."

Trevor: "Traditionally, vampires are unable to walk on consecrated ground, so they'd just be stuck in their coffin forever."

Grant: "That's actually genius."

Sypha: "Or, and hear me out on this... as a mage I conjure a water-based familiar and have it challenge the vampire to a race."

Grant: "And I immediately retract my previous statement, WHY???...."

Sypha (Smirking): "Because vampires are vulnerable to running water."

[dresdenfilesincorrectquotes]

Murphy: I will go find us a ride if you two can manage not to kill each other while I'm gone.

Goodman Grey: Oh, please. We're not children.

Murphy: *skeptical look, but walks away*

Harry: Eat shit and die.

Goodman Grey: Yes, fuck you.

*they both start giggling hysterically*

[enigma-the-mysterious]

"But..but, Olrox killed Richter's mom :("

And he looked really hot while doing so, what's your fucking point?

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*during a meeting post s4*

Hector, whispering: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.

Issac: There are no books in prison.

Hector: You're right, thank you.

[ineedmoretrevorcardcontent]

Adrian: My friends would never steal from the church, how dare you assume such a thing-

Trevor & Sypha: Actually we did steal it.

Adrian: ...

Adrian: Well what do you want them to do when it's right infront of them?! Not steal it!? You should've hid it better-

[demigoddessqueens]

How it should have gone

Richter: I thought you were a myth

Alucard: you were myth-taken

[whosbex]

*trevor seeing old family paintings in Dracula’s castle*

Trevor to Alucard: you have a dad? That’s cool. Congratulations, what’s that like?