#Cas literally pulled the chair for Dean to sit
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mira-mercury · 2 months ago
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guys I just had a thought…
human Cas experiences everything humans can—hunger, urination, etc
and we know he experienced want/desire with April…
so at the end of the episode when he’s talking to Dean, he’s just saying all the things he couldn’t say as an angel.
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zepskies · 2 years ago
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Sharing Is Caring (III)
Pairing: Castiel x Reader 
Summary: Navigating a new relationship means learning how to share a bed with Castiel. [3-part series with Sam, Dean, and Castiel.]
Word Count: 1,100 Warnings: 18+ only, smuttish, but mainly fluffy!
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Part 3: Castiel
You could tell he was uncomfortable with the idea. You smiled, resting your hands on your waist.
“It’s just a bed, Castiel,” you said. “It’s not gonna bite.”
But I might, you thought in amusement. The angel offered you a wan look; he knew that mischievous smile of yours. His dark blue eyes ran down your scantily clad form.
You had a feeling he’d like the white satin.
The tank top had thin straps while the shorts were, well, short. His gaze lingered on your bare legs, making you blush a bit. 
“You know I don’t sleep,” came his uncertain reply. He gestured to your desk chair. “I can just sit over here until you fall asleep.”
“Come on, please? Not all the time we spend in this bed has to be play time,” you said, ending with a teasing lilt of your voice. Castiel actually averted his eyes in embarrassment. 
You didn’t know what he was afraid of, really. But you knew Dean had warned him again and again about the sanctity and privacy of people’s bedrooms—especially their beds. Especially yours. 
And that was still true.
However, if you and Castiel were going to be together, then some adjustments were going to have to be made. 
You climbed across the bed to reach out for his hand. Cas hesitated, but he recognized that your warm smile was an invitation. He took your hand, allowing you to pull him down to sit on the edge of the bed. 
He was already divested of his coat, so you worked on his tie and blazer, then his belt and dress shirt. He helped you after a little while, and eventually he was down to his white undershirt and boxers.
You had seen him in far less, but it still amazed you how different he looked without the entire ensemble, quite literally stripped down of his outward trappings.
He was still your angel, cupping the side of your face with a warm hand and tender features. You smiled and leaned into his touch. 
Then you encouraged him to get comfortable lying down with you. You knew he wouldn’t sleep, but at least he could be with you for a while until you did. 
His movements were slow and deliberate (and still a bit unsure) as he sat up against the pillows, crossing and uncrossing his legs. He settled on uncrossed as you tucked yourself against his side and tangled your legs with his. 
His arm came around your waist more naturally, his thumb stroking your arm. It made you smile. 
“Did I tell you what Dean did today?” you asked, raising your head up to him. Cas looked down at you in curiosity. 
“No, what?”
“By some miracle I found some flour and chocolate chips in the pantry, so I decided to make cookies. I took the tray out, and I guess the smell is like a bat signal for bottomless pits. Because Dean literally came downstairs, with a sandwich in hand, to ask me if I made food,” you recounted with a grin. 
Cas’s lips raised in a smile. “That sounds like him.”
You nodded. 
“So against my advisement, he picks up a cookie. And of course, it’s like a thousand degrees ‘cause it just came out of the oven. It burns him and falls apart in his hands, all gooey and chocolatey and stuff. He’s like, Oh shit. And it falls on the floor. But what does he do?”
Cas considered it with amusement, the corners of his eyes crinkling knowingly. 
“I’m guessing he didn’t clean it up for you.”
You grimaced. “Well, kind of. He picked it up off the floor, and like the massive man-child he is, he said, Five second rule! And he ate it, Cas,” you said.
“He fucking ate it. Gooey, crumble mess off the floor, where we most definitely tracked in ghoul guts last week. I was thoroughly disgusted.”
Castiel inclined his head.  
“That is…gross,” the word somewhat foreign on his lips, “but I’ll remind you. You once ate cake off a bar floor while intoxicated.” 
You sent him a peeved look. “It was red velvet cake, Cas. And it was my birthday.”
“Still, you could’ve just gotten another slice,” Castiel murmured. You pouted. 
“Whatever, I stand by my drunk decisions,” you said, raising a finger. Cas grabbed that hand, making you look up at him. He gave you a rare, soft smile and pressed your hand to his lips. 
Your heart fairly melted. Like warm, gooey chocolate.
His gaze drifted down, and the air between you changed. He drank you in like your body was a wonder of the world, and he was just getting a glimpse. 
It wasn’t the first time you’d received such a look, but hot damn, you hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 
By the time he refocused on your face, your lips were parted and your heart had jumped up about three speeds. 
His gaze could be so intense. It was part of what attracted you in the first place, his singular focus and tenacity. He also held incredible strength, knowledge of the world and so many of its secrets, but he chose to live here in the bunker.
He chose to stand and fight with Sam and Dean and other hunters like you.
He chose to love you, and be here with you, talking about nothing at all and sharing your bed. 
“It’s not nothing,” he said. This close, touching your skin, he had likely read your thoughts.
You blinked in confusion. “Wh-what?” 
“Being here with you is never nothing,” said Castiel. “Not for me.”
He reached for your cheek again, brushing his thumb over your lower lip. He bent down to kiss you, and you welcomed him with open arms. You wrapped them around his shoulders and he shifted you underneath him, bracing a hand against the bed. 
Your fingers wound up in his dark hair. He made a pleased sound when your nails lightly dragged down the back of his neck. So you shifted your hips to accommodate him, and he planted himself between your legs. He fingered the hem of your silky shorts.
But then he paused, breaking the kiss to look into your eyes. Uncertainty had crept back into his. 
“Sorry. This counts as play time, does it not?” he asked. “We…weren’t supposed to do this tonight.” 
With a giggle, you took his face in your hands and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips, with heat and tongue and full of promise. “All I said was, all of our time doesn’t have to be play time.” 
Castiel’s head tilted with a small grin. “So…most of it can be?”
You nodded, giving him a “serious” look. 
“Oh, yes,” you said. “Most is good.”   
With that invitation, Castiel would take his time removing your white satin. 
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AN: And finally, Castiel! I want to write for him more often. He's so adorable.
To read Part 1: Sam.
To read Part 2: Dean.
TAG LIST:
(So far I think this is my "everything" tag list. If you'd like to be added, or need to remind me to add you to it, please do!)
@samanddeaninatrenchcoat @this-is-me19 @hobby27
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Castiel Masterlist
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deanscherrypie420 · 6 months ago
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Demons Blood - Part Four
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A/N: I literally screamed when I lost the draft - however,,, I think I made it better so 🌚 I hope you enjoy! Sorry it took so long for this part <3 I recommend reading the other parts before this for more background :)
Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader Y/N, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Bobby
Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader
Warnings: Demons, violence, threatening, blood, arguing, supernatural hunting, alcohol, MOC Dean, secluded woods, angst, (Let me know if I missed anything!)
Summary: You were born a demon. You don't know why, but you have demon blood in your veins. You're dad left when you were young, and you've lived with Bobby ever since. The Winchesters have been staying with you for some time now, and everyone you know has hurt you. Now, you only have Castiel to confide in. How long can these relationships stay broken?
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Y/N was up earlier than usual, a new routine she had started to avoid the brothers. Unfortunately for her, Sam had caught on and began going on his morning runs around the time she woke up. When he returned, she was normally up and making coffee.
"Hey, how'd you sleep?" He asked as he made his way inside the house. He peeled off his jacket and rested it over a chair. "Fine." She replied, pulling a mug from the cabinet.
He smiled. "That's good, can I have a cup?" He added after a few minutes. "Yeah, make one." She stated bluntly, grabbing her cup from the machine and retreating back to her bedroom. "Y/N-" He started, but she was already gone.
When she entered her room, she noticed Castiel already arrived, spinning in a chair that accompanied her desk. "Hey, Angel." She greeted, an irritated expression going along with it. "Hi. Did I do something to upset you?" He questioned as he stopped spinning, his feet dragging against her carpet.
"No, Sam did. He acts like we're still friends, even after everything he's done." She complained, setting her mug down and sitting on her bed. Castiel scooted the chair closer and frowned. "Why are you so upset with them?"
"Why wouldn't I be upset? They lied to me." She barked at him, and he nodded. He processed her words and thought for a moment. "Would you be upset if they had told you?" He asked finally.
"Yes." Y/N stated, not giving a further explanation. "Why?" The angel prodded, determined to figure out why she was so angry. "Because, Cas!" She snapped, immediate bitterness flooding her tone.
"I have known Dean since I was 6 years old. He lived with me and Bobby for a year. He was repulsed by me. I got pushed off a slide, locked in closets and beaten up by his friends. That's not even the worst of it!" She ran her fingers through her hair, tears now welling in her eyes.
"When I got older and I started hunting, I would run into them occasionally. He has left me tied up alone in old vampire nests! He's abandoned me in the woods and has let monsters torture me on cases!" She hissed, her knuckles turning white from how tightly her fists were balled. "Wanna know why?"
Castiel nodded slowly, an uneasy feeling in his gut. "Because I'm a demon. Because I'm a monster. I didn't choose to be like this, I didn't choose to be born this way! But him? He did. He chose to become something he has harassed me my whole life for. And for what?" She raved, a tense laugh leaving her.
"To kill Abaddon." Cas offered quietly. She shook her head and bit her lip. "That's not good enough." Castiel quickly got up and enclosed her in his arms. He didn't understand a lot of social situations, but he understood this. She was hurt, and needed comfort.
"It's okay. You're okay." He whispered into her hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "You're good enough." He promised her, and she broke down in his arms.
It wasn't okay.
She wasn't okay.
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She still went on hunts with the brothers, her need to help people just barely stronger than her hatred for the group. They were packing up to go work a case in McGregor, Iowa, an angry spirit sacrificing people on the side of secluded roads.
Castiel was waiting in the car as the three of them got their bags together. "Be safe," Bobby advised, pulling Y/N away from the boys. "Be careful, don't let your emotions overwhelm you." He warned and she nodded. "K. Love you, Da-" She paused, an awkward silence washing over the two.
She still was tense with Bobby, his betrayal cutting deep in her heart. However, she couldn't deny that she still cared, and so did he. "I love you too, Hun." He echoed back, the word she almost said causing a slight tremble in his voice. Dad, he thought to himself.
He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the side of her head. "Be safe, please." He repeated and she smiled. "I will." She confirmed, and he let go, patting her shoulder.
Shortly after, everyone loaded up into the car and they began their drive. She turned the music in her headphones up to drown out the car ride, but Sam decided now was the time to talk about their feelings.
"So... Y/N, you haven't talked to us much recently." The brother pointed out, earning a quiet laugh from Dean. She pulled out her earbuds and her lips formed into a thin line. "Yeah, I know. I like it that way." She explained and Sam leaned his head into the headrest.
"Yeah, okay, but maybe we don't." He added, and she felt her anger growing. "That's funny. Y'know, I don't like being deceived by my family nor do I like being lied to, and yet you did both!" She exclaimed in a fake cheery voice, sarcasm lacing her words.
Dean quickly chimed in, clearing his throat before he spoke. "Sam, she doesn't have to talk to us if she doesn't want to." He offered a smile to Y/N through the mirror and she scoffed. "No, no, you don't get to side with me. I hate you more than I hate your fucking brother, so do not try and kiss my ass right now."
Sam let out a nervous laugh, "Guys, calm down." Dean turned and looked at his brother, annoyance evident in his features. "Oh shut up, Sammy. You brought this up."
"I didn't think it would turn into an argument-" He tried, but Y/N cut him off. "What did you think was gonna happen? We were gonna talk it out?" She laughed at the idea and continued, "Fuck you both. You guys deserve to rot in hell. Good thing Dean can save you a seat, Sam."
The rest of the car ride was quiet, only the faint sound of rock music in the background. She put her earbuds back in and turned her music back on, sighing quietly.
When they arrived in Iowa, it was nearing six o'clock. Sam decided that it would be best to start hunting now in the nearby woods. "It comes out at night, it's smarter if we start searching for it now." He explained and everyone agreed, not caring enough to argue anyway.
"We should split up to cover more ground. Cas, you're with me. Dean, you're with Y/N." Sam declared, quickly grabbing Cas and leaving, not allowing any complaints.
"Great." Dean muttered and Y/N let out a dry laugh. "What do you have to be upset about? I didn't do shit to you." She questioned as they began walking, the sky above them a darkening blue.
"You like to cause problems. Not someone I wanna be buddied up with." He bickered. She stopped in her tracks, biting her lip hard. It was a new habit she started to hold back her anger. "I cause problems?" She laughed in disbelief at the statement. "You're the one who started this problem." She did air-quotes around the word 'problem', finding his understatement amusing.
Dean turned on his heel to face her, his head tilted down as he raised a brow. "What were we supposed to do? We couldn't tell you-" She clapped her hands and laughed. "You couldn't? Why?"
"Because you act like this." He motioned towards her. His tone was cold and she could tell he was trying to stay in line. She was tired of it. Tired of everyone tip-toeing around her.
"Yeah, I'm upset. I'm upset because you have ruined my life over this! Because I'm - what do you call it? - Half blood?" She shook her head and licked her lips. "You're fucking pathetic, De. Bobby was right about you. You don't need that stupid mark." She said she grabbed his arm, pushing his sleeve down. "You've always been a demon. Through and through."
Dean shoved her back. "Fuck you, sweetheart. You're just mad that I got the choice." He retorted. She snorted and ran her hands through her hair. "I'm mad for many more reasons than that, Winchester." She paused and smiled. "How would your daddy feel about you becomin' a demon? Huh? Not his good little soldier anymore." She taunted, tilting her head to the side.
He snapped, rushing towards her and slamming her against a tree. "You fucking bitch." He spat. She grunted and glared up at him, quickly smashing her head into his. He stumbled back and chuckled. "Oh, you wanna play?"
They had lost track of time, so indulged in hurting each other that they didn't realize Sam and Castiel's return at the other side of the forest. They were shocked when they saw Dean against a tree, face covered in blood, and a knife to his throat.
Both of their eyes were pitch black, teeth bared and bloody. "I should gut you alive." She growled, and Dean was about to say something before Sam yanked her off of him.
"Woah, what the hell happened?" He demanded as the two shouted at each other, rage still coursing through their veins. After a moment of talking, Sam separated them. He went with Dean and Cas went with her.
"What happened?" He asked softly. She was a bit more clear-headed now, her Y/E/C eyes back to normal. The younger Winchester ordered her to hold his jacket to her head to stop a gash from bleeding, and she reluctantly agreed. "I'm fine, Cas. We just had a disagreement. Working out our problems, as Sammy would say."
The angel just shook his head and frowned. "Disagreements don't usually involve knives." He said as he stood up and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Y/N." She didn't know why, but Castiel was really good at this. At comforting her. She swallowed hard and nodded into his chest, tears beginning to fall.
"Thank you, Cas."
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Dean was having a rough day, the mark on his arm begging for violence. He was sitting on the couch, face in his hands as he tried to calm himself down. He exhaled and leaned back into the couch, his leg bouncing up and down at a steady pace.
Bobby went on a road trip with Castiel, leaving Sam, Y/N and him at home alone. Y/N was watching him for a moment by the doorway, watching him struggle. "Writing helps." She advised, making her presence known as she walked over to him.
He sprung up on the couch and scoffed. "With what? I'm fine." He mumbled and she nodded. "You're a demon, Dean." She said, and he laughed. "Jee, thanks for reminding me?" She quickly shook her head and laughed as well, "I mean it helps calm down the bad thoughts. If you write down how you feel, it kind of... simmers down." She explained and now it was his turn to nod.
"You think like that often?" He questioned and she bit her lip. "When I'm upset... so a lot recently." She added and he chuckled. "Yeah, alright." He finished, and then they were silent, both deep in their own thoughts.
After a moment, she got up and went to her room. She grabbed a notebook and returned to him, tossing it down on the coffee table. "Try it. Write everything down and then see how you feel." He smiled and grabbed it, studying the cover. "Thanks."
A few hours went by before Dean came back to her. He knocked on her door and she allowed him in. "You done?" She asked and he dipped his head in agreement. He handed her the notebook and she gave a gentle smile. "Keep it, it's yours now."
Dean bit his lip and shook his head. "I saw some of the things you wrote in there. Thanks for not killing me." He joked and sat down next to her. She cleared her throat and stood up, the familiar tension rising in her gut. "Dean, all I did was help you. We aren't friends." She said quickly, forcing the notebook into his hands as he stood.
"Right." Was all he could muster before walking out the door. She sighed and laid back onto her bed. She bit her lip and thought for a moment. Maybe we could talk it out? She thought, but no. A flood of memories bombarded her brain and her face contorted in fear and disgust.
He's a demon, through and through, she reminded herself.
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A/N: Thanks for reading! Sorry it's kind of poorly written... I was very rushed to write it so I will probably edit later <3
I hope you enjoyed :))
Reblog, Like, and follow!
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deancodedinthewater · 10 months ago
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Charlie flopped down into the empty arm chair and kicked her feet into Dean's lap and prodded him in the ribs with her big toe.
"What?" Dean complained, pushing her feet away.
"You gonna talk about why your hiding in your cave on your birthday?"
"No."
"You gonna kick me out?"
Dean's green eyes darted to her and then away. "No."
She prodded him again. "Tell me." He glared at her and tapped a closed fist to his mouth. Charlie frowned and then her eyes got wide. "Oh! Oh oh oh." She pulled her feet back and sat up closer to him. "Are you hiding because you can't talk or can you not talk because you're hiding?"
Dean held up 1 finger.
"Dean, everyone knows this happens, they won't mind." He rolled his eyes. "What?"
"I do." She reached out and he grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "My birthday- it's- I don't know- I can't-"
She squeezed his hand back and he looked up at her, those green eyes shinning. "You don't have to explain. You and I can just sit in here and watch cowboy movies. I'll bitch at you about all the dumb nonsense and you'll roll your eyes at me."
Dean laughed.
-
Hours later they were onto their third cowboy film, Charlie was complaining about how ridiculous something was and Dean was yelling about how it didn't have to make sense because it was cool.
"I just don't get why they always have to fight at 'high noon'. Wouldn't dawn be cooler?"
"They do fight at dawn sometimes," Dean replied. "High noon is symbolic though. Can't get all those cool shadows and shit at dawn."
"Still..."
"You don't complain about how unbelievable Star Wars is!"
"That's different!"
Dean threw his arms in the air, a handful of popcorn flying everywhere. "How? How is it different?"
"It's sci-fi/fantasy! They literally have magic!"
"It's a goddamn space western and you know it!"
"Hey," Sam said appearing in the doorway behind them. They both turned and glared at him. "What's going on?" He made to move into the room.
"Gingers only!" They snapped together.
Sam's foot stopped in mid air and he blinked at them. "What about Cas?"
"He's honorary ginger," Charlie said, crossing her arms over the back of the chair.
Dean turned and ruffled Cas's hair. "He also gets boyfriend privileges."
"Sam," Cas said, not looking away from the screen. "Please take me with you. They've made me get them popcorn 4 times."
"It's my birthday!" Dean yelled, flipping the popcorn bowl in his lap as he reached down to hug Cas.
Charlie watched as Sam slowly backed away. She nodded at him as he closed the door.
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hells-plaid-angel · 3 years ago
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In theory, if Cas ever did realise he was in love with Dean pre-deal with The Empty and actually decided to shoot his shot, I’d imagine a string of hilarity and miscommunication would ensue. There’s no way Cas would try to flirt with Dean if he thought it’d be received badly, but every now and again, Dean gives him just enough hope he thinks maybe it’s possible Dean likes him back. 
Say Cas shows up unexpectedly and Dean’s doing their movie night alone since Cas was away,  on some plot-relevant side quest. Cas arrives back unannounced because it’s movie night and what he’s doing can wait a day. Dean’s too thick to realise Cas has come back for him, and royally puts his foot in his mouth by asking why Cas is there, making the angel feel like he shouldn’t be because the course of true love never did run smoothly and when given the opportunity Dean will screw himself over when it comes to affection. 
Cas isn’t sure where they stand and wonders if he should stay and watch the film or leave. After awkwardly standing beside Dean’s armchair, watching the screen for longer than what would be deemed socially acceptable, Dean lets out a huff and says, ‘Just sit down,’ meaning, of course, for Cas to sit beside him in what Dean’s deemed ‘Cas armchair’. Cas takes Dean’s words literally and plonks down on the arm of Dean’s chair, smacking their shoulders together and settling in. 
The thing is, Dean lets him. He might grumble, but he doesn’t get Cas to move. He’s had a long night, having also returned from a hunt hours before and he’s beat. Before Cas knows it, Dean’s face is smooshed up against his shoulder and he’s open-mouthed snoring. Cas still thinks he’s the most beautiful human he’s ever seen and is in awe because Dean’s being vulnerable with him. He knows the man has trouble sleeping, plagued by dreams of Hell and hunts. Cas knows Dean doesn’t sleep with just anyone, even when he has casual sex, he rarely stays long after the act, so Cas looks down at the sleeping man and for the first time he thinks, ‘maybe’. Maybe Dean likes him back. He has no idea what to do with that possibility. He sits there quietly for the rest of the night because Dean’s an angry sleeper (like a bear) and Cas isn’t going to wake him up. 
He decides to tread lightly and toy with the idea of trying to flirt with Dean, without overtly flirting with Dean. He has no idea how to do this. After all his years on earth, there are still a lot of things that confuse him. While he and Dean are on a hunt sometime later, they pull over to a gas station. When Dean’s paying Cas mindlessly flips through the magazine stumbling on some shitty Cosmopolitan article about romance and flirting. They mention one way to show you are interested in someone is by showing curiosity in their likes and dislikes. 
So for the rest of the journey, Cas becomes almost insufferable with questions. He knows Dean’s top 13 favourite Led Zeppelin songs, but is Led Zeppelin Dean’s favourite band? What are Dean’s top 13 favourite bands? What is Dean’s favourite number? Does he have a favourite colour? Why is that his favourite colour? He rattles off questions for the entirety of their 14-hour trip cross country and Dean is confused as hell but decides to humour Cas because he does love talking about bands and movies, plus it’s not like anyone’s ever taken so much of an interest in him. 
Sometime towards the end of the trip, Dean realises he has no clue what Cas’ favourite anything is- do angels even have favourites? Wasn’t that meant to be the whole thing  about angels? All men are created equal and all that. Still, Dean asks. For the most part, Cas doesn’t have answers. He’s not sure who his favourite band is, though he can hesitantly say a few songs he likes better than others. It’s like they discover his favourite things together, unearthing them. Cas says with conviction his favourite colour is green and when Dean asks why he simply says, ‘Because it reminds me of you,’ and moves on. Dean goes silent for a long time after that but Cas is still left thinking that maybe Dean could love him. After all, he showed interest in Cas’ likes and dislikes as the magazine suggested. 
Something Cas learned from Dean’s movies was that humans showed affection through nicknames, strange terms of endearment that reminded them of sugary foods or woodland animals. Dean reminded Cas of neither, so he was unsure what kind of word to use to show his affection. Dean shortened his name. Perhaps this was his way of using a term of endearment, maybe Cas had missed some sign and should have given Dean a nickname of his own.  In the end, he settles for something in his mother tongue, because he’s better at expressing himself in Enochian. 
He uses a word for Dean which is both very intense and oddly specific, something that translates roughly to ‘Evergreen lover, formed of star ash’. Like a golden retriever, after having the stilted cacophony of consonants and vowels thrown in his direction for long enough Dean simply shrugs his shoulders and answers to the name. I’m talking a name that trembles like a sub-bass and causes stray dogs to howl and Dean just looks up of a morning from his bowl of Fruit Loops and goes, ‘oh yeah that’s me. Mornin’ Sunshine’. Bonus points if others around him know exactly what the name means, other angels, demons, maybe even Sam when he gets curious and looks through the bunker’s archives for an Enochian Dictionary. 
After all this, Cas is no closer to working out if Dean harbours affection towards him or not. So after some exasperated brainstorming, Cas decides to meet Dean where he’s at and attempts to express affection the way he knows Dean does. He cooks Dean’s breakfast and makes his coffee every morning because Dean expresses his love through security, caring for others and he especially loves food. It should be noted the bacon is burnt, the egg is raw and the coffee tastes like dishwater, but each morning Dean gives Cas a goofy, lopsided grin and thanks him. He’s grateful, Cas realises but he still has no idea if Dean’s in love with him. 
With his one last-ditch effort, Cas decides to try physical touch. Dean’s a tactile creature. He loves touch. So Cas tries to give it to him. He rests his hand on his shoulder or his side as he walks past Dean. If they are parting ways Cas pulls Dean into a hug. He’s stunned at first, but he lets it happen and even gets used to it after a while, so Cas gets more brazen. He wraps his foot around Dean’s ankle when they sit together at the map table. He pushes his palm into Dean’s when they’re sitting alone in their armchairs for movie night and that’s what finally pushes Dean over the edge. 
“Look man, I know you’re not human and you don’t get how stuff works but you can’t do junk like that. It’ll give people the wrong idea,” Dean would warn because his self-loathing, self-deprecating, still very closeted self would never in a million years dare to let himself think Cas knows what he’s doing.
“And what is the wrong idea?” Cas would ask. 
“You know, dude. That you like me. More than a friend like me,” Dean would explain and Cas would give him the most world-wearied, withering look and  sigh, “That is very much the idea I’ve been trying to get across,” He’d explain. 
And Dean would need about an hour for his brain to stop short-circuiting, long enough for him to reply, 
“Oh.” 
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abi-cosmos · 2 years ago
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come get your summer destiel smut! ☀️🍉🧊⛱🧴🍭
This started as a drabble that I was gna post here and nowhere else, but it pulled me under. Time to get a little extra hot under those covers. (Maybe, I dno!)
truly there’s nobody for you but me
part one of the Spoiler alert: they fuck series.
Dean and Castiel are on vacation in a post-Chuck world, but Cas won't take his damn clothes off to soak up the sun. Dean takes matters into his own hands.
There's no plot here, just summer porn with ice, lace restraints, and feelings.
Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester Rating: Explicit Tags: Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester | Anal sex | Rimming | Ice play | Blow jobs | Dom/Sub undertones | Light *very light* bondage | Romantic sex | Summer vacation | Lake cabin | PWP | Butt plugs | Frottage | Rainbow coloured dildos | Porn with feelings Word count: 3687
https://archiveofourown.org/works/39858501
Sneak peek under the cut:
"Dean, I know you aren't wearing sunscreen," Castiel says, walking along the wooden decking. "...Because it was in my bag under the salt and a packet of beef jerky."
Sitting on a green striped deckchair in his red shorts, Dean smiles at where he's been watching Sam and Eileen in the distance, then looks at Castiel stood next to him, holding out a bottle that smells like sweetened, artificial coconuts.
"The sun is extremely damaging, your neck already looks red and given how many freckles you have-"
"Alright, I get it," Dean puts the beer he literally just got from kitchen next to his feet and sighs. "Hand it over," he opens his palm towards Cas and waits.
It is a beautifully hot day and that’s kinda the whole point; the whole reason they’re here at this lake. Dean had said they needed a vacation, especially after everything with Chuck; Sam had agreed so fast that Dean barely had time to tell Cas before his brother had booked them up. And no, it’s not a beach but Dean is okay with that. Because this is the stop on the way to the beach.
Cas puts the bottle of sunscreen in his hand and Dean snaps it open, squeezing a large handful and rubbing it over his arm as Cas sits on the empty chair next to him.
"What about you, huh? Planning on losing the duds?"
"I hadn’t really thought about it," Cas says, watching a handful of birds fly out from the woodland trees keeping them private. "Probably not."
"Cas, c’mon. It’s hot," Dean reminds him, moving to the next arm. "You can't sit around wearing that all day. We're not working a case, we're on vacation."
Cas sighs, "I know. But I don't see the benefit of me being mostly naked right now."
"What?" Dean replies. "There’s nobody here, just me, and I’ve seen all you got."
"Is that meant to encourage me?" Cas turns to him and damn if his eyes don’t sparkle a fuckton more in the sun. It’s almost like the sky is reflecting in them or some crap; Dean could drown...or fly away. Whatever.
He manages to save himself; a new mission popping into his head. With another large dollop, Dean reaches his calves and then slides up towards his pinker-than-usual knees. “If I wanted to encourage you, I’d say lose the shirt and I might have to rub this on your back."
That sends Cas’ eyebrows up.
Dean smirks, prepping himself for making a deal. "Then after that, well... What say you get my back good and creamed too? I’m talking covered. Don’t wanna miss a spot."
Cas catches his bottom lip, a hint of danger bouncing out of his iris. "I’m pretty sure I could cream your back without taking my own shirt off," he curls his voice in all the right ways to hit Dean's buttons.
"Flirt," Dean says almost derogatory, squeezing more of the liquid into his hand. He rubs it slow over his chest, side-eying because Cas is watching him meticulously. It leaves a trail along his collarbone, a white creamy trail; slightly warm on his skin. Cas clears his throat and looks ahead.
Across the water, Sam and Eileen have long gone, so near to the other side that Dean almost can't find their boat. Them not being here is gonna make this all the more fun, because Cas’ll break, he always does.
Cas rests his finger against his lip, leaning on the arm of the chair as he stares through the trees. Subtly was never the angel's strongest point and Dean can feel him wanting to watch every stroke, fighting the urge like a champ.
With a smug lift of his brows, Dean pushes back into the chair and uses both hands to squeeze the bottle above his belly button. The squirt is obnoxious but succeeds in getting Cas’ full attention. "Can’t believe we got two weeks to just kick back and do this," he says, smoothing the cream over himself like he has no idea that his hand is currently en route to brush over his left nipple. "This is awesome," he continues, wetting his lip at the tingle in his body.
"It’s very peaceful," Cas stutters, the war across his face visible as he tries to pretend the water is more interesting than Dean rubbing his palm too slowly over his chest.
Agreeing, Dean nods. "Sun, good food, beer," he mutters, his skin soft and shiny, smelling like tropical drinks and lunchtime naps. "...Nobody around for miles." With a hitch of his breath, he squeezes a small amount into his left hand then strokes it over his hips; weaving the top of his fingers lower until they’re under the waistband of his shorts. Cas’ eyes are now watching; unwavering; his hand tightening into a fist on the arm of the chair between them. Bingo.
Leaving himself exactly like that; comfy, y’know, he ignores the race of Cas' heart - and his own for that matter - to pick up the bottle of beer. Cas shuffles in his seat when Dean puckers his lips around the rim. He tips it down his throat and damn, it tastes good. Moaning after the swallow, Dean nudges his hand deeper into his shorts. Fingertips inches away from his cock; it stirs under the tease.
"Dean," Cas’ voice cuts between them with quiet, broken tones. "Is this really appropriate?"
Tipping his mouth upside down, Dean looks at him and replies, "Sure." The bottle had been fresh from the fridge and now was wet in the heat. Dripping around his hand, Dean strokes it down to the bottom, eyes still locked onto Cas. Suggestive, Obviously. It doesn't take long for Cas to spot the outline of Dean's semi, pushing unashamedly against his shorts. "Or, we can go inside? Y'know, if you want to?" Dean suggests.
Read more on AO3
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wormstacheangel · 3 years ago
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When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.
Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.
So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.
Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.
His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.
Back home.
As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.
When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.
Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.
Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.
Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.
Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.
Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.
It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.
[continue under the cut or on AO3]
He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.
Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.
Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.
He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"
The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.
As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.
They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.
One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.
It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.
A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.
Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.
That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.
Two, always have a light source on.
The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.
Three, never leave Cas alone.
Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”
Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.
Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.
Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.
"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.
It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.
Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.
Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"
Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.
Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"
Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.
He had to excuse himself again.
After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.
Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.
Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.
That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.
The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.
It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”
Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”
Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.
“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”
Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”
“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.
“Promise.”
That’s how Cas became human.
The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.
He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.
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bi-bard · 3 years ago
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You Should’ve Known Better - Castiel Imagine (Supernatural)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Title: You Should Know Better
Pairing: Castiel X Reader
Requested: By @zizzlekwum
Word Count: 922 words
Warning(s): kidnapping, torture
Summary: (Season 13) It was meant to save Dean. However, Castiel doesn't take (Y/n)'s attempted sacrifice very well.
Author's Note: How do I explain that The Blacklist requests were a break from Supernatural, not the other way around, haha! (I love both of these shows but I have been writing about them both so much)
Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)
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I stopped in the middle of Dean and me running for our lives.
"What are you doing," he asked.
"Go," I shouted. "I'll distract the angels, give you time to get home."
"(Y/n)-"
"Dean, it wasn't a suggestion," I snapped. He stared at me for a few moments. "Please... go!"
Dean finally turned around and ran from me. I took off in the other direction. I heard the pounding of feet behind me, meaning that my plan had worked.
I didn't even get the chance to be proud of myself before I grabbed and promptly knocked out. All I could do was hope that Dean had gotten out.
--time skip--
I came to while tied to a chair. I shook my head, trying to stop the headache that was already forming. Someone called out the door.
It slammed open and a man walked in.
"Cas," I asked, immediately recognizing him.
"You know me then," I cringed when I heard a heavy German accent roll off of his tongue. "Maybe that will make you more inclined to answer my questions."
I don't know how long I spent tied to that chair. The alternate Cas would punch me, ask me the same question, and then repeat the process when I didn't answer.
I just sat there and bit my tongue, knowing better than to give one of Michael's soldiers any information.
I was curled in my seat, my entire body aching from the constant violence, when the door was slammed open. I turned my head, watching alternate Cas's soldiers fall one by one.
By the time my eyes adjusted, my Cas was standing there with alternate Cas slammed against the wall.
"Two of us," the alternate Cas said. "Interesting."
"Not for long," my Cas sneered in response before stabbing the other Cas with his angel blade.
I watched alternate Cas's body fall to the ground.
My Cas walked over, kneeling by the chair and helping me out of the restraints.
"Cas," I asked softly.
"I'm here," he promised.
"Why did you do that," I asked. "I did this to save Dean. Why would you come back?"
"Did you think I was going to let you throw yourself into the pit," he furrowed his eyebrows at me.
"To save you and the boys... I thought you'd respect my wishes," I mumbled.
Cas grinned at me, "You should know better."
I furrowed my eyebrows at him for a moment as he looked back down at what he was doing.
He undid the final restraint before helping me up. I almost collapsed in pain. I was going to mumble an apology but he stopped me. He placed two fingers on my forehead. I smiled as I felt myself heal.
"Thanks," I muttered. He just smiled.
We ran back to the door to the bunker, happily leaving the alternate world for now.
The door shut behind us. We had made it just in time. Dean and Sam stared at us.
"I shouldn't have left-"
"Shut up," I interrupted Dean, hugging him tightly. "I asked you to leave."
Sam stood behind his brother, waiting for me to step back and hug him. Our hug was shorter but it still made me smile.
"Will you guys give us a minute," I asked them. I looked over at Cas for a moment.
They both nodded with knowing smiles on their face. I furrowed my eyebrows at them for a moment as they walked out of the library.
I moved to sit on top of the table in the library. Cas stood opposite me.
"Thank you," I said. "I don't remember if I said that earlier."
Cas grinned. It was really nice to see him smile. It almost always made me smile back at him.
"Can I ask you something," I asked. He nodded. "When you were untying me, you said I should've known better than for you to respect my sacrifice. Why? You've let Dean and Sam do it. You've sacrificed yourself... you literally just got back from the Empty."
"Because I care about you," Cas replied.
"And you care about Sam and Dean," I argued, pushing for a real answer. "As far as you should've been concerned, I was already dead. Why risk it?"
"(Y/n)...," he trailed off.
"Please," I begged. "Just answer me."
Cas walked over and touched the table on either side of me. I just watched him. Each step and each movement. My breath felt like it was going to stop when his hands touched the table.
"Cas," I said softly. He took a deep breath, finally meeting my eyes. I offered a small, slightly awkward grin.
"You're different," he explained quietly. I was studying his face as he spoke. "I... I love you."
I let out a shocked chuckle, smiling at him.
He was about to move back but I grabbed the edges of his trenchcoat and pulled him into a kiss. He adjusted quickly, his hands moving to my waist as I moved my arms to wrap around his waist.
The kiss had a hard hit due to how I pulled Cas in but after that it was soft. Careful. It made my heart flutter and my stomach do flips. I pulled back just barely, pecking his lips once more before resting my forehead on his.
"Wow," I whispered after a moment. Cas chuckled. I punched his shoulder lightly as I chuckled with him. "Shut up."
"No, no, I agree with you," he promised. "Definitely a 'wow'."
It was better than "wow", it was perfect.
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Masterlist
What I Write For
Request Guidelines
Musical Prompts
Small Moments With…
When Worlds Collide (Doctor Who Crossover Series) Masterlist
Some Original Characters
folklore/evermore Writing Challenge (and Masterlist)
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cooloddball · 4 years ago
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This is going to be a super long analysis of jib3 starting with the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony so brace yourselves. 
Please note I believe in the breakup theory so maybe my opinion in this one might be biased so please don’t come for me, lol.
I will put it under the cut to avoid overcrowding your dashes with cockles shenanigans. 
Also, watch out for profanities and mature language.
And so it begins...
Opening ceremony
The camera used to record the opening ceremony is shaky. 
Misha, Jason Manns, and Jarpad seem to be having a lot of fun together and Jensen is just looking at his besties talking to the man he loves and he knows he can’t have that so he just stands there looking at them. Poor guy.
Jarpad asks who took Misha’s riffle? Things are awkward, I honestly don’t know what’s going on.
Misha kisses a plushie while making eye contact with Jensen and Jensen is like “oh, oh, wow” while making eye contact with Misha. LOL. Jack help me. This is a lot!!!
Jensen takes a plushie from Sebastian and Jared takes the one Misha had.
Are you guys flirting about trying to see whether you can keep plushies alive?
Misha throws something at the fans, I think he was throwing treats from earlier or whatever it was and Jensen says “Misha is still throwing” I mean why?
Cockles Panel
Jensen is so extra in this panel.
First of all, when he and Misha come out (no pun intended) a song starts playing and he starts dancing. Jensen is usually so poised while dancing but he is over the top throwing his back and shaking his tush for the mish.  I think he was trying a little too hard. Misha spares his ex-boyfriend’s tush a glance smiles and looks away. LOL. The whole thing was cringey, tbh. It was so unlike Jensen.
When Sebastian touches Jensen’s shoulder and says something to Jensen, he [Jensen]  laughs way too hard. I would say he laughs abnormally-it’s loud and he throws his whole body into it like he’s trying to prove what Sebastian was funny and it probably wasn’t. He laughs so hard he ends up right on Misha’s side. and Misha laughs at that though.
Rich says something about something in the sac that hurts(It’s incoherent) and Jensen says it hurts right here pointing at his heart (I can’t hear what they are saying exactly so if anyone knows please let me know)
I don’t know if Mark P. was going to hug Jensen or not or he was pointing at something behind Jensen, but at that moment, Jensen sees Sebastian going to hug Misha and whips his head away from Mark P’s direction so fast he almost broke his neck.
Sebastian humps Misha (these two are so playful I love them) and Jensen is just there acting awkward 
There’s a comment by Rich about “It’s over, the convention’s over I’m no longer your bitch” I don’t know who this is about.
Now, now, now. This whole time Rich is doing a kissy mouth with his fingers on the monitor behind Jensen and Misha. His hand is right where Misha is standing (you’ll understand once you watch it) so Jensen makes a kissy face back and Misha is blushing? Ummm wtf is going on here?
Jensen also does something strange that he never does during cockles panels he pulls his seat away from Misha.
Misha makes a very weird comment about Sebastian’s libido drying up and they have a weird conversation about libido and Viagra ads. It’s weird.
It gets even more awkward Jensen talks about bringing a total stranger, and a blind date. And it goes downhill from there with them. The it wasn’t you it was me speech. It was special. So heartbreaking. It was clearly not about the show but about their relationship. I always have a difficult time getting through that part. It’s so awkward that the fans are just there wondering what the hell is going on.
They decide to take questions and the fan is all over the place so Misha interjects but Jensen won’t let Misha say what he wants to say so he says, “This is why you make it awkward. You never let people finish what they are saying.” Ouch. Domestic dispute vibes anyone?
The way Jensen is looking up at Misha when he’s answering that question. It’s like he wants to sear his face into his memory before they leave Rome.
Jensen is explaining to a fan how one of the four sound stages they had on set was full of furniture and Misha adds “and soiled mattresses”  I mean what was the reason? Did they soil the mattresses with their [redacted]
A fan mentions something about Dean and Cas so these two adorable dorks smile and share a look. Things are starting to look up. Thank Jack.
The fan says something again (I can’t make out what he’s saying) but it must be something nice because they look at each other with smiles on their faces again.
Jensen playing with the head of his microphone. Is it just me or did the temperature rise a notch higher?
The way they look at each other when the fan says to help him choose the hottest female cast member on the show 
Then something freaky happens they say the exact same thing as twins or bffs do sometimes. LOL.
When they start talking about the hot women with the fans Misha moves his entire body and now instead of looking at the fans, he is seated facing Jensen.  The tension is simmering down.
A point to note is that in all their panels they always sit angled facing each other as opposed to facing the crowd save for this panel and DCCON 2019. But for DCCON I can understand that they weren’t comfortable being meant to be a J/2 panel and a creation event. So you know some people in that crowd are super mean to Mish and others to Jensen, so they had to tread carefully. But I digress back to the chaos.
They ask who wants to have a cockles panel the next year and they both raise their hands. I thought that was sweet
 It’s adorable how Jensen keeps repeating everything Misha is saying.
Misha forgets himself and moves too close to Jensen to listen to the song on the phone. Jensen turns to look at Misha, I don’t know what that look is but Misha backs away laughing.
Jensen’s face journey while listening to that song is gold.
Misha moves closer to listen to the song.  I have to say the way they are standing is not usually how two bros listening to music usually stand. If you know what I mean
 Misha agrees that’s definitely Jensen singing. Of course, he knows because Mr. “Jensen sings to me all the time”
He looks so proud of him.  I’d venture to say he’s happy to hear Jensen sing because he has always been so shy about that fact about himself. He even gives him a standing ovation. That’s so adorable. He loves him. My heart.
Jensen is so cute trying to deny it’s not him singing that song.  Yeah, it’s you, Jensen. Even your ex agrees it’s you and we bet he knows how your voice sounds in all kinds of situations ;)
we get a tingly feeling so we know it’s you. Jensen’s adorable smile when Misha says that. Aww.
The way they are not even looking at each other but they are seated the exact same way.
Allow me to explain to my friend here. Explains how his parents didn’t know whether he was a boy or a girl. Misha with the steel chair, “when did they figure out that you were a boy?”
How many years did they call you holly?
For six to seven years
Is it just me or is this conversation a flashback of teenage twink-lesbian Jensen years?
Fan asks whether Dean will ever forgive Cas. Watch Misha’s body language, he is trying to pacify himself by rubbing the back of his neck and fumbling with his shirt.
When Jensen says “ No!” without a moment’s hesitation, Misha looks distraught? I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into this but I feel like this hit too close to home being that they were most likely broken up.
Misha however has a different opinion, “I think he has” 
Jensen says, “Wishful thinking” and that elicits a smile from Misha.
A fan asks about Dean giving Cas the trenchcoat back and things get interesting.  Weirdly, that Jensen can’t say the word gay out loud. He literally uses the word “unmanly” in its stead in the guise of censorship? It’s not a bad word Jensen you can say it. However, Misha and the fans say the word so I’m wondering who is censoring Jensen’s use of that word. He eventually says it but super fast.
Jensen says that saying “I always knew you would come back” is not something he would say to another human being, especially a man. Jesus, there’s nothing wrong with saying that to another human being you care about. He’s the one making it gay. He was extra when answering that one.
They spent one and half hours making that scene just to end up not saying anything and it ended up looking gay anyway. Anyway, that’s interesting.
 Jensen angles his body towards Mish and says in a very low soft and sexy voice “I guess I really hoped that you would come back some day” I would venture to say that Jensen at the moment in the panel was actually saying them to Misha. Who knows though?
They talk about it a whole lot for something that bothered him that much. 
Misha being so excited about recreating a scene when a fan told Jarpad he’s amazing and Jarpad said "you are welcome. 
 “I think I understand what she wants. I’m not sure what she’s gonna get.” This is a very good line Misha. I will be using it often.
The way they awkwardly stand too close and whisper to each other. Umm…what is going on here?
Jensen folds over laughing because of something Misha says. They are back. The tension is almost 90% gone now and they are in their element.
The chaos of recording the alarm ringtone for the fan was just great to watch. They kept getting closer and closer and I think they might have shared spit at that point. Gross….LOL
The way Misha is sitting is he you know.
Jensen asking Misha whether he was saying anything or just screaming while they were recording. I think he just wanted to see Misha smile.
Jensen’s joy when a fan mentions that they have Misha’s résumé.
Jensen saying the word shit made my day. I curse a  lot and it made me feel validated somehow.
Misha calls him dickhead in return and Jensen stops functioning and laughs instead . He also gets all hot and bothered trying to fumble with the lapel of his shirt.  He does this a lot when he is turned on. He has a humiliation kink I think.
They start talking over each other about Misha’s special skills. Looks like Jensen might have known beforehand because he went straight for that. Or maybe he didn’t know but he knew since Misha is a mad genius there must be some amazing things in there. Either way, it was a good moment.
OMG Jensen is so excited and the way he motions to Misha to bring that résumé to him, LOL. This man was thirsty AF.
He even goes down from the stage to meet Misha and invades his personal space trying to reach the résumé. I think this is the moment the tension between them dissipated completely and they were back to some form of normalcy.
Misha holding Jensen’s shoulder trying to get his résumé back. Unsucessfully, I should add.
They read something funny and they fold over laughing and spin around like overjoyed seals. It is far removed from the mollusk family but at least it’s still a sea creature (I don’t know what I’m saying please don’t mind me)
Jensen is still on his knees laughing and can’t get up. As I said, he is being too extra in this panel.
 Misha is trying to talk but they both can’t stop laughing. I think Jensen laughed so hard he got an extra set of abs that day.
Jensen is still laughing and you know what he is laughing at? Misha’s special skills being acting on camera. I mean it’s funny but man, prayforjensen.
 They are still laughing. Jack, help them.
The way Jensen looks at Misha with pure adoration here makes me so happy and reminds me of the fictional characters they played being all heart eyes for each other.
 Misha laughed so hard he cried.
Jensen trying to read the next ‘special skill’ Misha has but he can’t even talk because of how funny he thinks it is. He’s trying so hard not to laugh but he can’t help himself.
Jensen agreeing and also asking the audience to agree that Misha has a knack for certain accents. Accent kink anyone?
 Jensen is so excited when Misha starts Tibetan throating singing and does the unicorn laugh facing away from the crowd. Bet he has experienced Misha’s Tibetan throat singing skills on a personal when they are (loud overhead helicopter noises followed by thunder rumbling)
Jensen falling to the ground after feigning a heart attack once he saw that Misha is a certified EMT. I mentioned before that I honestly, 100% think he wanted mouth to mouth. There’s no other explanation. He could’ve feigned a nose bleed or just about any other illness but he chose to fall on a dirty floor and lay down so Misha could either give him the breath of life or straddle him. Luckily for him his dream came true 7 years later at Jib9 when straddle gate happened. But I digress
Too bad Misha was still mad at him and heartbroken so he kicked him instead.
Jensen knowing that Misha kayaks seems to be part of his personal knowledge. Maybe they did it together sometimes.
Horseback riding. Hmm is it just me or do they seem awkward here?
 Misha is so close to Jensen’s armpits. Must be missing his man’s musk and being held in those muscular arms again. Poor baby.
Misha can’t talk because of how funny he finds bicycle touring. I mean…I don’t see what’s funny but I guess he knows why it’s funny.
Misha laughing and raises his legs because Jensen is elaborating on the bicycle touring. Maybe it’s an inside joke or maybe it’s no longer funny to me because I’ve watched this panel like 5 times.
 I think Jensen’s goal was to see Misha laugh and be happy because he turned to look at Misha who was still laughing hard and the joy on Jensen’s face. Aww.
Misha gravitating towards his man again. He must smell really nice Misha. And those arms. Bet he used to lift you against the wall and (this fucking thunder won’t stop rambling. Are chuck and Amara fighting again?)
Jensen marketing his man’s carpentry skills but then makes sure to make it ‘no homo’ by saying he would never sit on anything Misha has built. Sure Jan. Then he circles back and says that he knows that he can build things.
Misha walks away from him and he looks up to make sure where he is going. Maybe he was afraid Misha was walking out on him. (PTSD from their breakup?)
They mention acting on camera again.
And laugh 
Jensen keeps talking about the acting on camera and watches to see if Misha is still laughing  He still is and Jensen is happy that his baby is happy. He looks at him again and he is still happy that Misha is still happy. Then once the laughter dies down he starts talking about bicycle touring  and checks again to see if Misha is laughing which he is so Jensen throws his head back  unicorn laughing and then looks at Misha again to see that he’s still laughing. Then they look at each other and say something maybe it’s about that was a good laugh. Jensen is wiping tears from his eyes because of how hard he laughed  Misha does the same. That entire thing was insane and they seemed to love it.
 Jensen starts saying that being this happy or goofing around is how they are on set sometimes and have to take a 5-10 minute break and Misha doesn’t seem too happy at the mention of the set. 
Jensen knowing that you can buy résumés on eBay. Did he buy Misha’s and then plant someone in the audience to bring it up or? Okay, yeah I know I’m reaching here but it’s probable.
 I guess my theory wasn’t farfetched because Jensen says that he’s pretty sure that Jarpad put it on eBay the previous night so maybe he is the one who did all that to win Misha back?
Jensen knows the appellation clogging is a stretch. Seems like Misha has told him about it before.
Jensen looking at his watch to see if they have time for  Misha to be telling a story about his high school sweetheart and now wife. I bet he wishes Misha could tell their love story so openly. He can’t stop looking at Misha.
The way Jensen is looking at Misha here. WTF man? He’s literally confused about what the question is.
The personal space question. This whole thing was just so many things. It was awkward, cringey, thirsty, funny.
when the fan asks whether there’s a funny fact between Jensen and Misha. I almost fainted. What? And Jensen repeats it. The two men are so stoic. They are not even looking at each other. They are looking at the fan like the way a statue stares at you, unmoving. Cringe.
The room is so quiet. Poor girl, I hope she didn’t feel awkward afterwards because if it were me, I would’ve cried from how stoic they looked and how quiet everyone was.
How they both scratch themselves, Misha on the head and Jensen on the nose. Maybe the question hit too close to home
Jensen turns to look at Misha as if to say ’help me out here man. We don’t wanna disappoint our fans.”
Misha gets it because he gets up. This whole thing is gold.
The way Jensen breathes out in anticipation. I know it was like they were playing a skit about personal space but why was he breathing like that? Shouldn’t he have been playing it as ‘uncomfortable’ not ‘turned on.’ Boudoir mannerisms.
Moving on Misha is unsure on where to touch Jensen 40.31. This is weird in and of itself because usually, they don’t have a problem touching each other’s faces, tush, eggplants, (jib4 anyone), backs et cetera. But now it’s weird? *cough* breakup *cough*
Misha touches Jensen’s ear and Jensen literally moans. He frigging moans people. In case it is not clear in the video, here is an isolated audio version of it. Jensen is also fumbling with his shirt like he’s all hot and bothered. Just like Misha did earlier. Was Jib3 their couple’s therapy that reminded them how happy and horny they made each other?
Jensen is really not answering the question, to be honest. He’s fumbling for words and trying so very hard to make sense but his word are  incoherent.
Misha going in for the nose dip. I know friends do this all the time but you have to be very close and familiar with someone such as a friend friend or a sibling for you to poke a finger in their nose. I mean noses are slimy and eww…anyway. That happened. They seem so comfortable with it. Jensen I love you but please stop talking.
The way Jensen looks at Misha. He has the cutest smile on his face as if saying thank you for making that fun and making me horny, I still want you.
Misha wiping his pinky that touched Jensen’s nose on his pants. (I wanted to add something disgusting about what heshould’ve done with that pinky but I won’t so let’s move on)
Jensen wiggling his nose.
When Misha suggests that Spn moves to Nickolodeon. Jensen laughs a bit too hard.
Misha talking about spn being a puppet show reminds me of how he mentioned them having a puppet show in Jensen’s backyard after the show is over.
Jensen also saying that in a way spn is a puppet show. I mean is someone making snide comments about how their strings get pulled and sometimes they are not happy about it. Like how they fired his boyfriend. It seems like it’s an inside joke.
They named the plushie Zippy aww :))
For jack’s sake guys, the way they look at each other when they mention that the  résumé was the highlight of the panel.
Jensen saying the more dirt you dig up on Misha, the more rewarded you are. Aww, someone’s trying to win his man back by any means necessary. You go girl…I mean Jensen.
He talks more about how he’s looking forward to next year when fans have more dirt on his friend Misha. Jensen didn’t want to leave the stage, he was lingering so he could spend more time with Misha.
It’s over guys.
Closing Ceremony
I know you didn’t ask for the closing ceremony but here you go. It’s a free gift.
Can I just mention how Jarpad is an overactive puppy? He has to play with anything and everything he finds.
The mc announces Misha twice for some reason. The second time Jensen looks in Misha’s direction with a small smile on his face. He [Jensen] is also chewing vigorously.
Jensen and Jarpad being typical dude bros and karate chop Rich. This is why the difference between his relationship with Jarpad and Misha stands out. He would be too busy making heart eyes to Misha to kick another guy. LoL.
Jensen hulking out when Jarpad is taking a video of everyone. Lol. This video keeps reiterating my point that his relationship with the two men is just different.
Jensen keeps looking in Misha’s direction, Misha who is busy talking to Steve and having fun. Let me also mention Steve is Jensen’s bestie and so are Jarpad and Misha, but I’m sure that Jensen felt some type of way, jealous when they were having so much fun with his man and he couldn’t. Jarpad also takes a while filming Misha for Jensen of course. They remind me of me having a crush back when I was in school. Wait, did Misha look at Jensen? It’s hard to see because the angle of the video is not expansive but I guess he was.
As soon as Jarpad gets back, Jensen takes the camera from him and starts filming fans. I’m sure he just wanted Misha to look at him
Rich mention’s Misha and something about acting on camera and Jensen licks his lips looking at Misha (I think).
Jensen then vigorously grabs the microphone from someone immediately and mention’s Misha. Jarpad’s reaction at that moment tells you everything you need to know about what’s going on between Jensen and Misha. It looks like he is pleading with Jensen in his head saying, “Don’t embarrass yourself bro. Please don’t” but it’s too late.
Jensen again talks about Misha’s résumé and specifically about acting on camera, the thing that made Misha laugh out loud during their panel. Someone’s smitten. Defending his ex-man.
Jarpad goes to whisper something to Misha. And they laugh while Jensen is thanking the jib staff for doing an amazing job. But when he sees the duo laughing, he loses track of thought and says “and they are all getting married”  dude what ??? How do you go from thanking people who worked on the convention and in .1 seconds you are talking about they are all getting married? Who is? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? No one gets it, he says he’s kidding and gives Jarpad the microphone, spares a glance at Misha and he seems distraught from that moment on. I wish I could see Misha’s face through all this.
He’s glancing in Misha’s direction again. Man’s got it bad. What?! Oh to be loved by Jensen Ackles. Misha must be a prize, I know he is a mad genius and gorgeous and sexy as hell with that golden skin that looks like it was dipped in gold and honey, big blue eyes that are bluer than the bluest blue, but Jensen wtf man? You are in public.
 I think Jarpad is telling Jensen something maybe it has to do with what he and Misha were talking about earlier?
And it’s over people.
Overall, I agree with the breakup theory. I mean the way these two were acting around each other was very strange. If you watch Misha and Jarpad, they seem okay from the opening ceremony up till the end but Jensen and Misha are just being weird.
The panel was mostly fun but their body language told a story that something was definitely going on between them. 
@littlewolf2703
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ltleflrt · 4 years ago
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#33 for the prompt thing ❤️
33. On a post-it note (Also on AO3)
Dean is not an optimist.  How can he be, when life literally only hands him lemons?  Dead mom, deadbeat dad, a little brother who ran off to college half a continent away while Dean slogged through tech support calls to pay for what Sam’s fancy scholarship doesn’t cover.  Hell, he can’t even use the tuition reimbursement benefit from his own job because he works so much overtime to make ends meet.
And tech support is a miserable ass job.  Some days he wonders if it would be better for his mental health to quit this place and go turn tricks.  Maybe he could find himself a sugar daddy who’ll appreciate his pretty lips and perky nipples.  
When his watch beeps the one minute warning for the end of his break, he sighs mournfully over the loss of his fantasy daddy and the naps he’d get to take while not busy bending over for someone who actually appreciates the position he’s in.  Time to go back to the phones, and bend over for Corporate America instead.  
At least the insurance is good, and the 401k will be worth it someday.
And there’s Cas.
A smile ticks up Dean’s lips as he nears his desk and sees his boyfriend spinning back and forth in his chair, head tilted back on the seat, headset on and messing up the neat part Castiel’s hair had started the day with.  One of his long fingers is curling in and out of the headset cord, and he sounds far less bored than he looks as he walks his customer through installing a software update.
“Yes, ma’am it does take a few minutes.  There’s a lot of files to unpack.” Blue eyes look up as Dean sneaks past him to get to his own desk.  One eye drops closed in a wink.
Dean makes a kissy face at him as he settles down in his own chair and pulls his headset on.  Then he turns to his computer with another defeated sigh as he reaches for the keyboard to log in.  But he’s distracted by a neon green post-it with familiar handwriting.
Good things DO happen!
Unlike Dean, Castiel is optimistic as fuck.  
Rolling his eyes, Dean snatches up the post-it and crumples it into a ball.  He tosses it at Cas, nailing him right in the nose, and making him scramble for the mute button before his laughter bursts free.  
“Watch it, Winchester,” Cas murmurs into the space between their desks.  “I’ll get you back for that.”
“Ain’t scared,” Dean counters as he types in his login info.  He casts a glance at Castiel as his headphones beep and his automated greeting plays for the customer on the line.
Castiel beams back at him.  “Yes, ma’am, let the computer restart.”
Dean grins back, and the smile carries through in his voice as he begins his call.  He hopes this one gets a survey, because they’re going to be pleased as punch with him.  He always does great on his surveys now that he and Cas have stopped dancing around each other and actually made things official.  It’s been the best six months of his life, and not even the really nasty customers can completely bring him down.
He forgets all about Castiel’s threat until he comes in a few days later to find his desk plastered with post-its of all different colors.  They cover the monitor and the keyboard and his Cisco phone.  The whole tiny surface of his desk is covered in a rainbow of little flaps of paper.  They’re even all over his chair, even down to the wheels.  
His team members all cast him expectant looks, mostly with gleeful smiles.  Even Frank, his crotchety old bastard of a supervisor is grinning.  Kaia is holding up her phone, and he knows there’s going to be pictures or a video of his reaction plastered all over social media today.
“Hm, I wonder who did this,” Castiel says mildly from behind Dean.
“Very funny, Cas,” Dean mutters as he starts plucking post-its from the seat of his chair.  He’d like to be able to at least sit down while he cleans up this mess.  “How many pads did you go through for this?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Castiel’s poker face belongs at a high stakes table in Vegas.  Even though it’s clearly his handwriting on the post-its, and his signature Good thinks DO happen! written all over them, Dean nearly almost believes him.  
With a disbelieving snort, Dean starts clearing away post-its.  He tries for all of thirty seconds to seem annoyed by the work, but he can’t hold back the dopey smile as he cleans up the mess.  
As he’s clearing the last of them from his monitor his hand freezes as he comes across one post-it that says something different from all the rest.  He plucks it from the monitor, and stares down at it.  Three little words, followed by a dorky little heart.  They haven’t said it to each other yet, but Dean knows he’s already there.  And his heart swells with affection as he holds the confirmation that the sentiment is returned pinched between his fingers.
He sticks it to the bottom of his monitor, where it’ll be easy to see, but out of his way.  And then he slides open his desk drawer and grabs a yellow pad of post-its.  He writes the words slowly, gently.  And then rolls his chair over into Castiel’s space.  He waits until Castiel looks up at him, and the shy smile on his face makes Dean even more sure that he means what he’s about to do.
He sticks the post-it right in the center of Castiel’s monitor.
I love you too, sweetheart <3
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ambiguousdisorderken · 4 years ago
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no you know what i still have not fully processed that dean and cas are in love. they smile when they think about each other, and they miss each other when they're apart, and they make corny jokes when they have sex, and dean blushes when cas compliments him but cas kisses the embarrassment away, and they get angry at each other and tongues get sharp but they will always have each other’s back, and they do domestic chores to pop songs cas adores and dean no-so secretly jams to, and cas strokes dean's hair when he falls asleep on the couch, face tucked against cas' stomach, and sometimes they shower together, and they wear subtle matching t-shirts and not so subtle ones too, and dean feeds cas spoonfuls of whatever he's cooking as taste tests, and their legs intertwine when they watch tv, and they cuddle, and their chats include a considerable amount of heart emojis, and dean wakes up wrapped up in cas' warmth, head on his chest, then finger tracing mindless shapes over bare skin, and they listen to each other's rants intently or tune out completely distracted by the endearingly aggravated face, and fuck how did they get this lucky, and they share clothes, and the wardrobe is fuller now, and they bicker a lot, dean complains about cas not being tidy and cas complains about dean not actually letting him help and always wanting things done his very particular way anyway, and sometimes dean gets very annoying and cas rolls his eyes and is so done with him, but then dean pokes his side and offers an apology that is without a doubt not an apology except it is in the dean winchester dictionary, and cas caves in because every second spent 'mad' at dean is a second wasted, and cas stands in the vee of dean's legs when he's perched up on the counter, and they have lazy sundays sprawled in bed, and they take selfies together, and they slow-dance when they're alone and the right song plays, and sometimes they dance without music because they can and they want to and it's right because it's them, and they are vulnerable with one another, and dean helped cas with figuring out sex at the start because it was intimidating so when dean's body fails to get on with the program and dean gets all red in the face frustrated and whatnot cas reassures him and because he knows dean's feeling bad they watch scooby-doo which has dean chuckling, little spoon in cas' embrace, and they go on dates, they go on dates, they go on dates, and they send each other memes, and they talk about banalities as well as their deepest darkest insecurities and fears, and dean is sure cas' phone is filled with pictures of him doing stupid shit or doing nothing at all, but that's fine because his own phone is packed with candids of cas simply being cas, and cas slaps dean's ass when he wears his short shorts, and he also steals a couple of bites off of dean's pie when they're at diners and dean lets him, and they call each other's bullshit for what it is, and dean gets to dress up his boyfriend husband and definitely checks him out when he's trying on different outfits, and they have inside jokes that make them giggle, make they cackle, and they go on drives together with no destination in mind just the road ahead and their mixtape blaring in the wind, and when cas is upset dean's right there, and when dean is angry everyone knows it's cas they gotta call to make it better, and they celebrate anniversaires and buy each other little gifts that they give out feeling bashful and a bit ridiculous, and they have pillow talks, and dean cooks for cas and cas is dean's #1 sous-chef, and they have coffee together every morning, and dean sits on cas' lap and mumbles sleepy against his temple, and they finish each other's, yes, sentences (and sandwiches), and they get jealous when other people check them out, and cas glares when dean leads on a poor soul but it's not like dean can turn off his innate charm, so he eagerly makes it up to cas later, and they hold hands, and they fight like couples do and there are tears and misunderstandings and painful silences and eventually apologies that are often wordless, a peace offering, but sometimes there's a sincere 'sorry' as well, and cas talks about dean endlessly with other people and dean literally can't shut up about cas, and they whisper things in each other's ears that no one else is privy to, it's just for them to know, and they go on long walks, and everyone knows they're together, they're each other's +1 by default, if anyone tells dean anything cas will know it before the day ends, and if anyone does anything to cas their name will be immediately added to dean's kill list, and they go grocery-shopping together, and they fight over which brand is better, and they get excited about 2x1 promos, and late at night they browse amazon to buy unnecessary crap, and they go on holidays together because they deserve it and the beach has always been dean's sunny dream, and they rub sunscreen on each other's back and dean orders them fruity colorful cocktail drinks and they nap on deck chairs after a quick swim, and they gossip, they talk about other people but keep their judging and criticisms between them, and they touch each other, they touch each other freely, that's dean's hand on cas' cheek, and that's cas' hand on the small of dean's back, and those are dean's arms wrapped around cas' neck and those are cas' hands on dean's waist, and they sit together for hours each doing their own thing, and dean calls out 'hey babe' and cas automatically responds 'yes love?', and cas nurtures both the child and the man in his arms, and cas memorized dean's system for doing laundry and dean is grateful and alleviated, and they eat terrible food together and gain a few pounds, and they try to do the healthy active couple thing but end up quitting because it doesn't really matter so dean eats that extra slice of pizza and cas keeps buying dean's favorite pie from the local bakery, and their bedroom is a safe space for dean's repressed kinks and cas' newly-found fantasies, their bedroom is also where they binge-watch netflix like the couch potatoes they are, and when cas brushes his teeth dean barges in just to take a leak, and they talk casually as they get ready, and they are frequently naked around each other and it's not sexual but it's very intimate and comfortable, and cas winks at dean from across the room, and dean pulls cas by his tie as he says 'gonna steal this handsome fella for a while' and dean cries sometimes but that's okay, and cas cries too but that's also okay, and dean sings to cas, and they have morning breath kisses and toothpaste kisses and coffee kisses and whiskey kisses and hungry kisses, and there are two pairs of shoes by the door and two glasses left in the sink and two towels hanging on the rack and both bedside tables are occupied and their mattress remembers two shapes, and dean worries because cas doesn't take enough care of himself, and dean nurses cas when he gets a cold, snuggling under blankets and checking the clock to make sure the medicine is taken timely, and cas gives dean massages to ease the tension accumulated in his shoulders, and often those massages have a happy ending as they should, and blowjobs are a regular prescription for fatigue and negative moods, and they can be downright insufferable towards one another, but it's a friendly banter, a loving poking fun at each other but it’s only allowed for dean to make fun of cas’ awkwardness and only cas can taunt dean for being so nerdy and dorky, it’s a game of pushing just the right buttons to get a certain reaction, and they also have a routine these days, being retired and all that, and they bask in each other’s company, their favorite pastime is just being together, they are each other’s home, and they care for one another in every way there is to care about someone. dean and cas are in love.
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Dean Winchester x Jeremy Bradshaw ??
Idk if you are asking re my post the other day about Angels or just generally, but just to be transparent Dean's OTP in Angels is Cas and I will not be permitting outsiders.
however, for purposes of um, brainstorming - for you know Science, I mean 10/10 Dean would find Professor Jeremy Bradshaw attractive. Dean THEEEE king of having a thing for authority figures Winchester? Dean 'I like men in uniform,' Dean 'I like doctors' Winchester? And snarky, I'm Always Right Professor Jeremy Bradshaw? (Also I mean. it goes without saying He Is Dean's Type ;)).
Yeah our boy would be A Whole Mess over this man.
However, I'm not entirely certain how Professor Bradshaw would feel about Dean. I can, however imagine the conversation that would ensue...and I wrote it down for you, nonnie - under the cut!
Dean's having a really long day, and it's only 9:00 a.m.
Yeah, he got his four hours last night, but still - hauling ass to school of all places this early in the morning - well, cracking the books at the first sign of the sun's never been one of Dean's favorite things.
But the mysterious disappearances in the Bridgewater Triangle are all over the papers - and according to the Lore (which now apparently comes in the medium of podcast), this isn't the first occurrence of paranormal activity in the area.
So here they are.
Sam's gone to nerd heaven in the university library, leaving Dean stuck talking to their primary witness.
Who happens to be - a professor of fucking folklore? What are the odds?
Dean waits for the stream of students pouring from the open door of the classroom to peter out before he slides inside. The man he's seeking out is still lingering in front of the rows of uncomfortable looking chairs. They're the kind with seats that stick straight up to the ceiling when a posterior isn't weighing them down.
"Jer- um, Professor?" Dean's not sure why he's hesitating, but something about leading with 'Jeremy' seems entirely too familiar for someone he's just met.
Especially when that someone is standing in front of him at a podium of all things, looking like an intriguing mixed bag of business casual blazer and rumpled button down shirt, dark swoops of hair grazing the sides of his face, still messy - as if he couldn't possibly bother with brushing it this morning.
Dean's never been to college but he's starting to think he understands why Sammy won't shut up about his 'time at Stanford.'
The professor is looking at him oddly.
Dean realizes he's literally stopped speaking and they're just standing in the middle of the classroom in stone silence. "Erhm. Dean Winchester. Aquarius," Dean blurts out, feeling a little unhinged.
He suddenly realizes he's given this man his real name as opposed to this week's FBI alias, and now he's going to have to explain why he's here in a suit and quickly-growing-more-uncomfortable tie.
Maybe not though, because the expression staring back at Dean is the epitome of 'I could care less.'
"Jeremy Bradshaw," he says in a melodic timbre, and yeah maybe Dean could sit through a lecture if this dude gave it.
"I don't really subscribe to the idea of the zodiac, so I hope you don't mind if I don't share my birth chart with you," Professor Bradshaw continues. There's a snarky little bite to his syllables that pricks the back of Dean's neck in a funny way. "Pray tell, what can I assist you with other than directions to the astrology department?"
Dean's not sure what he was expecting (maybe some mild mannered dude, dorkier than even Cas?), but it certainly wasn't all...this.
He clears his throat. "My brother Sam and I, we uh. We hunt monsters!"
What is happening to him? Maybe the supernatural creature they're hunting is the professor himself.
Potentially-Monster-of-the-Week-slash-Professor Sexy Bradshaw seems equally confused by Dean's demeanor.
"Monsters aren't real," he says almost gently - the equivalent of a 'there, there' to a recalcitrant child who's inquiring about a candy bar in the grocery checkout line. "Trust me, folklore is my primary field of study."
"Um," Dean continues, feeling suddenly very much like he's shown up for a final exam entirely unprepared. "Well, actually - they are."
This is going great.
Professor Bradshaw frowns a little, and Dean can see by the press of his lips he's starting to lose patience with him. "Mr. Winchester, was it? Listen, I've dealt with enough people who believe the things you do to know minds can't often be changed, but I can genuinely tell you that there's an explanation for anything you may be ascribing to the...paranormal."
He takes the wire-rimmed glasses from his nose, simultaneously pulling a handkerchief out of the pocket of his slacks, and wipes the lenses carefully.
Dean watches his movements like he's in a fever dream.
Dude's gotta be a siren or something.
Professor Bradshaw slides the spectacles back on and purses his lips with a sigh. "If you like, however - I'm always happy to discuss the supernatural in terms of academia. I have the background."
Great. The last thing Dean 'GED and a give-em-hell attitude' Winchester needs right now is to discuss his actual godforsaken job in terms of...academia.
After a moment of collecting himself, Dean decides to go with:
"What is your background, exactly?"
Maybe there's a back door approach here.
He slams down on the next incoming thought prompted by his use of this particular terminology with particularly intense vehemence. If the professor sees Dean squirming, he doesn't comment, replying instead:
"I happen to have a PhD in - "
Dean doesn't even let him finish the sentence. "A PhD? Like a doctorate?"
Professor Bradshaw nods, increasing irritation tensing the lines of his jaw. The toe of his extremely sensible Oxford shoe is starting to tap a little beat on the faded hardwood of the classroom floor.
Dean knows it's not the same as a medical doctorate.
He's aware.
But that doesn't stop him from picturing Doctor-Monster-Professor-Bradshaw sporting a white jacket and scrubs, with a dangling stethoscope replacing the bowtie that's currently perched on his neck.
Professor Bradshaw's eyes are blinking at Dean. They're full of confusion.
He suddenly notices that they are also very, very, very blue.
Yeah - Dean's gonna have a really long day.
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autumnsghosts · 3 years ago
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Simple Man
Title: Simple Man Characters: Dean X Reader Word Count: 2293 Summary: On the night before you are set to hunt the Devil in Carthage, you convince Dean to dance with you in Bobby’s kitchen. Season 5, Episode 10. Warnings: none, I don't think. A little angst, a little fluff. A/N: Hi, I'm brand new! This has been in my head for YEARS though I finally felt brave enough to write it down. It’s my first fic. Constructive criticism is welcome, but I’m a baby writer and still need a whole lot of practice so, be kind? I would really love to hear your thoughts, though! Song
You weren’t used to having so many people in Bobby’s house. Once Sam and Dean had returned from their meeting with Crowley, explaining a plan that was so far-fetched only the Winchesters would be foolish enough to even attempt it, let alone be able to pull it off, you had immediately started cooking. Jo and Ellen were called, Castiel prayed for and soon Bobby’s house was full of all that was left of your family. You tried not to think about how Carthage sounded like carnage and the fact that you were literally going up against the Devil in less than 24 hours as you chopped vegetables and rolled out pie dough.
You had been staying with Bobby for a while now, claiming that you had simply missed him and wanted to come home, though you both knew you were checking on him. Making sure he could navigate his new life in a chair. Luckily this meant at least his kitchen was stocked for the occasion. By the time you placed two chicken pot pies on the table, an apple pie baking in the oven, you had flour smudged across your cheek, and strands of hair had escaped your messy bun but the table was set, the beer was flowing and your family has huddled around together.
The scene would have been cozy if you all didn’t know what was coming next.
“Well, if this is our last meal, it looks like a damn good one, Y/N.” Ellen offered, breaking the quiet tensions that had settled over the table, heavy and oppressive. You let out a bubble of a laugh, thanking her before setting down a basket of bread you had made the day before and claiming the chair between Sam and Dean. When there was a crisis, you got very domestic and there seemed to always be a crisis. Bobby claimed he gained ten pounds every time you came home.
Stories were shared as everyone dug in, talks of hunts gone wrong, pranks the brothers played on each other. The clang of silverware against plates, the melodic cadence of Dean’s laugh, the rap of hands slamming down on tables in fits of laughter was a song you never wanted to end. You had gotten up to retrieve another round of beers twice before the meal was over. Everyone leaned back in their chairs, stomachs full, heads buzzed from the alcohol, momentarily happy. Dean helped you clear the table and you were surprised when he stopped by the sink to help wash the dishes.
“Go ahead, I got this,” you said, nodding your head in Sam’s direction.
“I can help, you cooked for us, sweetheart. Thank you,” he said, bumping his hip against yours playfully. You didn’t want to argue, so you let him wash a few dishes before finally shooing him away towards the cooling apple pie on the counter.
You finished drying the last of the dishes, putting them away as Ellen and Jo sat drinking with Cas. You smirked, knowing that trying to get him drunk was a lost cause, but it was sweet they were trying. And that he was playing along. Your eyes drifted to Dean, as they so often did. You dried your hands on a red kitchen towel, leaning back against the sink to take him in. He truly was the most beautiful man you had ever seen.
He was sitting at the table in the study with Sam, books spread out amongst them, going over research and strategy. He was hunched over, nursing what was left of his beer before setting it back on the table. His olive green jacket made his eyes impossibly greener. He licked his lips, sighing and leaning back in his chair as he silently argued with Sam over something. You could see the resignation from where you stood, shoulders drooping, eyes downcast, head bowed. You smiled softly to yourself, reaching into the fridge for two beers before walking towards them.
“Everything okay over here?” you asked as you handed a beer to Sam, ruffling his long locks before leaning against Dean’s chair. You slid a beer to him as well, hand trailing over his shoulder and offering a gentle squeeze. You were surprised when he reached his hand up, squeezing yours in return and keeping it pinned to his shoulder. He traced tiny circles over the back of your hand with his thumb.
“Looks like Crowley was telling the truth. I’m trying to convince Sammy to stay here. If he comes with, we are marching Lucifer’s vessel right to him.” he said, his voice gruff but clear that he had already relented.
“He might be right, Sam.” you offered, worrying your bottom lip before looking up at him.
“Not you too. Like I told him, if we’re going to do this, we're going to do it together.”
You nodded at him, another soft smile gracing your lips. You felt like you were full of them lately. “Need anything?” you asked. Dean gave your hand one last squeeze before letting go.
“Nah, we’re good. Thanks, Y/N/N.” His green eyes found yours and your heart fell into your stomach. Dean had been your best friend for years, and you had been in love with him for just as long. You knew it was fruitless, that he only ever slept around and that he claimed he didn’t want to settle down. You couldn’t help but think the self-deprecating remarks he made in jest, the overwhelming guilt he carried with him everywhere he went left him feeling as if he couldn’t have anything more than casual sex, that he didn’t deserve it, and it broke your heart. You tried to show him. Tried to make him see how incredibly selfless he was, how caring and heroic and beautiful but you couldn’t push too hard or he would shrink away. All you could do was be there for him and take whatever he would give you. You were okay with that.
You gave his shoulder a pat before heading back to check on Cas. You watched as Jo got up to grab another beer from the fridge, Dean trailing after her. You didn’t want to listen to their exchange, but you couldn’t turn away. A strangled sound caught in your throat as Dean leaned down to kiss her. It was one thing to watch him pick up women at the bars, taking strangers home and using them for a physical connection they both needed, but this was Jo. You couldn’t stop the onslaught of thoughts, your brain offering cruel realizations.
It’s just you he doesn’t want.
Castiel asked if you were alright, if you were choking and needed assistance and you laughed, turning your head back to him. You had never been more glad for his complete lack of awareness towards human emotion.
“Everybody get in here! It’s time for the line-up” Bobby called a while later, setting up a camera at the far end of the room. “Usual suspects in the corner.”
Ellen wanders in, though she grumbles about no one wanting their picture taken. Everyone manages to cluster together all the same after Bobby reminds everyone who’s beer it is they are drinking.
“Anyway,” he says, wheeling back into position, “I’m going to need something to remember your sorry asses by.”
You settle in behind Bobby’s wheelchair, placing a hand over your father’s shoulder and giving it three quick pats. Dean slips his arm around your waist, fingers trailing over the patch of skin revealed below the hem of your shirt. Goosebumps canvas your skin and you hold back a shiver.
Cas sombers everyone by saying “Bobby's right. Tomorrow we hunt the devil, this is our last night on earth.”
You can feel Dean shift, turning to look at Cas and you take a small step back, leaning against his chest, head on his shoulder for a whisper of a moment before lifting up again.
People seem to disperse after the camera flashes, left to take in the weight of Cas’ words.
Eventually, you find yourself in the kitchen, wiping down the counters and collecting empty bottles. You turned to the radio sitting in the corner, flipping through the cassette tapes littered on top before selecting one and putting it in the tape deck. The opening guitar of Simple Man fills the room and you lower the volume slightly, aware that Jo and Ellen have slipped off to sleep. Sam has wandered upstairs as well after thanking you for dinner and bending down to kiss your cheek.
You hear Dean’s footsteps behind you and you turn to him, holding out a hand for him to take. He does, eyes narrowed, eyebrows raised in a question.
“Dance with me,” you say entwining your fingers and pulling him closer. He tried to step away with a laugh, “I don’t dance, sweetheart.”
“Well, that is a flat-out lie. I have caught you on numerous occasions rocking out when you think no one is watching.”
“The point being no one is watching, and that is a lot different than dancing,” he says, pointing a finger back at you.
“Come on Dean. This might be our last night on earth. Aren’t we supposed to be, what was it? Eating, drinking, making merry?” you winked at him, a laugh catching in your throat, though you were trying your best to be stone-faced.
“Heard that, huh?” he laughed, hand rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Heard what? You getting shot down by Jo? Oh yeah...definitely heard that.” you gave him a grin, but if you were honest, it had frozen the blood in your veins watching him flirt with her. You tried not to think about the guilt that came with your relief when she had turned him down.
“Come on, please?” you asked again, stepping closer, and this time he lets you, wrapping an arm around your waist and entwining your fingers with his other hand.
“Only because it’s Skynyrd.” he says gruffly before adding, much lower “And only ‘cause it’s you, sweetheart”. You try not to feel special, sure he’s used that line before but your heart is a traitor. It’s pounding in your chest and you’re sure it is going to rip right out and fall to the floor at his feet.
At first, you aren’t doing much dancing, swaying gently to the soft rhythm of the music. You move your hand from his shoulder, playing with the scruffy hair at the base of his neck. He lets out a sigh and you move in closer, letting your mind drift for just a moment, pretending that this could mean more than it actually does.
“This song has always reminded me of you, you know?” you admitted.
“Why, because I’m simple?” he said with a laugh, but you don’t join him. You shake your head, looking down, unable to meet his eyes as your heart breaks for him.
“No, because you should get to be. Because you deserve to be. You shouldn’t have to carry the literal weight of the world on your shoulders, Dean.” your voice is a whisper and you still can’t look at him but you hear his sharp inhale and you feel his fingers digging harder into your hip.
You’re singing along lowly, the line about finding a woman and finding love when Dean rests his forehead against yours, drawing you even closer into him and your words die in your throat. His eyes are closed when he whispers “Don’t go tomorrow. Stay here. Stay safe”
You lean back, eyes wide with shock meeting rivers of jade. You bring the hand that is resting on the back of his neck to cup his cheek.
“You know I can’t do that, Dean. This is it. This is the big one. All hands on deck.”
“That’s why I’m asking. I can’t lose you. You’ve gotta know...Y/N, you HAVE to know how I feel…” but he can’t finish his thought. Your finger has trailed over to his lips, silencing him with another soft smile and watering eyes.
“Tell me tomorrow, after we beat the devil. You can tell me then, okay?” you offer. Besides, you don’t need him to say it. Not really. Because you know Dean loves you, of course you know that. But does it change anything? It never has before, and you don’t want impending doom to be the reason it finally does. At times you think you would jump through any hoop Dean throws at you, do absolutely anything for him but deep down you know you want to be a choice. You want to be his choice.
He bites his lip, clears his throat, and nods, face reverting back to the cocky facade he so famously wears. He winks at you before pushing you away from him to spin you. Your head falls back in a genuine laugh, hair flying behind you before you’re pulled back into his embrace. Dean brings your entwined hands to rest on his chest, bringing you impossibly closer, tucking your head under his chin. You’re really dancing now, twirling softly around the kitchen, bare feet on the linoleum. You can feel the vibrations of his voice as he sings along with the song and you’re sure it is the prettiest sound you’ve ever heard.
You let yourself get lost in the moment. The feel of his body pressed against yours, his breath in your hair, his heartbeat in your ear. If this is all you will ever get from him, it might be enough.
If this is the last moment you get to spend with the man you love, it might be enough. You’d be satisfied.
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smol-and-grumpy · 4 years ago
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Legally Yours - Ch. 07
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean Winchester tops the list of hottest entrepreneurs 2020 and yet, there’s still something he wants but can’t have because, in order to get that, he would have to settle down and get married. She agrees too quickly because she wants to secure a more comfortable life for her and her daughter. Will she be able to help Dean get what he wants without losing herself in the fake story they spin up to deceive his father and the world?
Chapter Warnings: A little nerves, a little fluff, a little angst at the dinner
WC: 4225
Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​ <3
Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist
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Y/N’s mouth opens and closes in quick succession.
She keeps on shaking her head, “I’m sorry, I think I must have not heard right,” She starts to chuckle but it’s not a good chuckle, it comes out more drily, like she tries to override her confusion with it, and Dean cocks an eyebrow, thinks she’s adorable how she keeps shaking her head. “I thought you said that if this should blow up because of me that I’d have to marry you,”
“That’s exactly what I said,” His voice is steady because he really means it.
“Oh no,” She shakes her head again, continues to look at him puzzled, “You can’t be serious,”
“I’m dead serious,”
“Dean, you don’t even know what you’re saying,” She looks around the hallway, looks up at the ceiling, as if she’s trying to spot a damn camera. 
“Hey, Y/N, look at me,” Dean waits until her gaze is back on him and then he stares her down, “Sweetheart, do I look like I’m joking?”
She narrows her eyes as she looks at him, and Dean notices that she tries to see in his eyes if he’s joking. He can tell that she’s trying to read something. Fucking anything. But she can’t. They never can. Maybe she’ll get it, she never will. He’s hard to read, is not really an open book. He doesn’t think there’s anyone out there in this world who can read him and that’s because Dean wants it that way. He has built up his business persona, has shaped himself to be unreadable, unpredictable even. It works to his advantage.
Her eyes go back to their usual size, but there’s a frown between her eyebrows, “Give me one good reason why you would want that?” 
Dean reaches out his hand, grazes her cheek with his knuckles before he moves his thumb up, rubs gently in between her eyebrows with it to ease the frown. 
“I think,” He starts to say and pauses to clear his throat, using the time to think his words thoroughly. His thumb leaves her again, pulls his hand back and sticks it back into his pants pockets. He only realizes it now that he’s been touching her. Has been touching her more than he probably should. In private. After he composes himself, he starts to speak again, “The most important reason is, that eventually, I will have to get married anyway. I should keep up our arrangement, it just seems easier.”
It’s not bad for him, who’s a businessman, to want to stick to a deal that’s already going on when both parties benefit from it, right? Right. But somehow there’s a feeling in his gut that tells him that what he just said was wrong.
The frowns back and she looks at him like she doubts him and there’s something he can detect in her eyes that he can’t quite put his finger on. Was it disappointment? 
He quickly tries to save the mood. 
“But don’t worry,” Dean chuckles and looks down at her, pulling his chin to his chest. It’s most definitely not his best angle, most definitely he doesn’t look like the hottest entrepreneur 2020 like this. But hey, she’s stuck with him now and he’s stuck with her. Time to get accustomed to the side that’s not always rainbows and cupcakes, and somehow it works because the frown’s gone. “It’ll only happen if you lose,” 
Y/N snorts. She’s trying her best to keep her cool he guesses, and she crosses her arms over her chest. It prompts her tits to be squished and they almost spill out of because of the wide cleavage. Dean knows he shouldn’t but it’s almost impossible. So, he does what every man would be doing, he risks a glance, hopes she doesn’t notice. 
But she does. Because he knows by the way the corner of her lips curve up that she must have noticed him staring. And it’s like she’s taunting him because she presses her arms together some more as she starts to grin. It’s all cocky and fuck, he’d never thought he’d see a cocky smile on a girl that matches his. 
“Fine, just don’t come crying when you have to fork over a new apartment, loverboy,” She ends up smiling satisfactorily, it’s almost too cute.
Dean chuckles again, “That only happens when I lose, sweetheart,” And then he leans closer, brushes his lips against the shell of her ear to whisper to her. It could be his imagination, but she’s shivering. From up close he can smell her perfume, and he absolutely loves the scent on her. Dean keeps his voice  low when he speaks, “And I never lose, baby,”
Standing back, Dean holds out a hand out for her to shake. Y/N does, with a narrowing of her eyes, grips his hand just a little tighter to tell him silently, that’s she’s not a loser as well. 
He likes that. Likes how she absolutely is down to compete. 
“Got yourself a deal there,” Dean nods and instead of letting go of her hand, he holds it tighter, keeps it in his as he pulls her along the hallway and into the dining room.
 *
As he pulls a chair out for her to sit on, the doorbell rings. Dean should have known, his dad’s never late.
“Dean,” She whispers.
“What?”
“Why is there so much silverware?”
He laughs. Full on.
She elbows him in the ribs because the footsteps of his father and the maid are coming closer. 
“Seriously, which ones do I choose?” Y/N hisses.
His father is already in the room and comes closer, so Dean leans over to her, whispers into her ear, “Work your way from the outside in. They are placed in the order of use. It’s not hard,” 
“‘K,” 
She nods, but the frowns still there so Dean reaches under the table, lays his hand on her thigh, squeezes reassuringly and she wants to stand up and greet his dad, but Dean holds her down, thumb drawing circles on her skin, “Stay,”
They aren’t formal. His father usually sits down to eat because that’s what he came here for. It’s not a fucking social party. There are no eyes on them and John Winchester doesn’t go out of his way to impress anyone when the press is not around.
And as Dean predicted, his father sits down before he even greets them.
“Y/N, Dean,” There’s a courtesy nod.
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  Dean and his dad hold small talk and it isn’t two minutes later that the maid brings in their first course. 
While she was getting dressed, the chef sent the maid around to ask her if there’s something she doesn’t like or if there’s something she is allergic to and Y/N guesses that they are pretty happy that she could literally eat anything. She grew up not having too much food around so food in general gets her excited and she loves to try new things.
When the maid sets their entrees in front of them, Dean’s hand leaves her thigh, and she doesn't even notice that he’s been touching her the whole time. Is it weird that it felt natural to her? Somehow, she has the feeling that it doesn’t seem that he noticed it either because Dean just pulls his hand from her thigh and starts to dig into his food like it’s no big deal.
Maybe it isn’t. Maybe, she thinks, he really enjoys touching her to feel close to her and that’s a good start, right? At least he doesn’t look as troubled as he usually is around her.
It’s chicken truffles terrine on a salad bouquet and god, the terrine melts on her tongue and there’s an explosion of tastes going on in her mouth. 
She hums her approval after the first bite, which prompts Mr. Winchester Sr. to smirk at her. 
The conversation is kept light during the first course, maybe Dean nor his father wanting to spoil their appetite. And she keeps herself mum, too afraid she would start to bubble nonsense because she’s still so damn nervous.
“Sauntéed Dover with Almond and Soy-Lime emulsion,” The maid said as she brought out the main course and honestly, Y/N doesn’t understand any of it but hell, if it’s as good as the entrée, they should keep bridging them out.
Before she could dig her fork into the glorious fish, though, John Winchester clears his throat to speak. 
“So, Y/N, I heard you are working in our company?”
Her heart starts to race and there’s that sweaty hand again. 
She pulls herself together and looks at Mr. Winchester Sr. tries to meet his eyes because she doesn’t want to seem like she’s incapable of answering a damn simple question. 
“Sir, yes. In fact, I met Dean there,”
The fact that she held his eye contact works, because John nods, before he takes the fork and digs into his meal. The relief she feels when John doesn’t ask more questions is vast. 
She takes a bite of the fish herself and it falls apart as soon as the fork touches it. Her mouth starts to water before she pushes the forkful of fish into her mouth and she isn’t disappointed because god, that explosion of taste is back and the fish melts on her tongue. 
Humming out loud, she closes her eyes, savoring the fish and the taste of the soy-lime sauce. 
Dean chuckles next to her when he hears it, and his hand is back on her thigh, squeezing it in what she hopes is approval. 
When she opens her eyes, she sees John watching them, but there’s a smirk on the older man’s lips. 
“It’s good to see a woman with an appetite,” He says.
“I’m sorry,” Her face feels flush, “I just get very excited about good food,”
Dean’s hand squeezes her thigh again, as if he wants to say that it’s okay. 
His father is watching them, though. She realizes as she looks back to the old man and he still hasn’t budged. That’s when she knows that he’s watching if they are real. 
Y/N leans closer to Dean, lets her hand trail up his muscled back, her fingers threading through the short hair at the nape of his neck and the color in Dean’s cheek rises up. His ears are tinted pink. She clearly affects him. She just doesn’t know if it’s good or bad. 
Before she can move closer, Dean almost winds himself out of her grip, and his hand that’s on her thigh goes behind him, plukes her hand away from his neck to hold it in his palm. 
“Are you okay?” She whispers, doesn’t want to be too loud, even though his father has seen everything already. Clearly, he’s not okay, but she just doesn’t know what it is. Does her touching him hurt him so much? Why do they keep doing it then? 
Dean catches himself, places a kiss on the back of her hand before he moves closer to kiss her cheek. He stops short, to whisper in her ear, “No, I think I’m in trouble,”
His lips lingering close to her ear, sending shivers down her spine. What does he mean he’s in trouble? How? What? 
Before she can wrap her head around what Dean just said, John clears his throat to speak.
“Y/N, what do you think about my son’s prenup?”
If John thinks he caught her by surprise, he really did. 
“Uh,” She starts to say, stammers as her mouth tries to form words. Of course, Dean Winchester would have a prenup. Sam mentioned that Carmen was ready to sign that thing. It’s not a secret that wealthy men have prenups, right? 
“He hadn’t shown you the prenup yet, did he?” John’s lips are crooked into a cocky grin. 
And it’s then that Dean turns to her and lays his hand back on her thigh, “I didn’t show it to you because we won’t have a prenup,” His voice is soft, gentle while his eyes are on her, as if he wants to make sure that she hears him. 
“You what?” Mr. Winchester Sr. asks loudly.
Dean’s eyes leave hers as he tilts his head back to meet his dad’s gaze. “I won’t have a prenup with her, Dad,” His voice is louder this time, firm, as if he is putting his foot down.
“Dean, I—,”
“—No, I know exactly what you want to say. Fact is, it’s my marriage, and my life. You have no say in this. I trust Y/N. We don’t need it and that’s my final word.” He’s even louder, getting all worked up and it’s her turn to lay her hand on his thigh to calm him down. 
He flinches at her touch, just a little, but she notices it nonetheless. And she gets a bit discouraged. Why does he bother holding a speech with not getting a prenup when he flinches at her touches? She doesn’t fucking get it.
John Winchester stands up abruptly and buttons up his suit jacket, “Well, it was nice, but I have another dinner meeting to attend,” He says as he nods to Dean and her, “Dean, I’ll see you at the event, and Y/N, it was nice meeting the woman who manages to enchant my son enough for him not being able to think straight.”
The man walks over to the door, stalls and looks back, “I will get Sam to talk some sense into you, and I hope next time I see you, you’ll have changed your mind.” He says, completely ignoring her presence.
“Wow,” She huffs out as soon as the apartment door shuts close. 
“Yeah,” Dean snorts, “That’s my father for you.”
She wonders if she should bring up the prenup, but decides against it. It’s not like they’re going to get married anyway, right? Surely, Dean’s legal team will be able to find a solution before they have to go that far and she certainly will not lose the bet they have running.
Returning to her meal, she forks the fish into her mouth, groans loudly this time because the old grumpy Mr. Winchester is gone and Dean sets his fork to the side and braces his elbow on the table. He turns his body a little, tilts his head and lays it on the hand of the arm that’s on the table as he continues to watch her eat with a grin on his face.
“You really like the fish, huh?”
“God,” She exclaims, “The food here is excellent,” 
“I’ll pass your compliment to the chef,” 
“I hope me gaining weight is not in the contract because I think there’s a big chance it will happen if I get fed delicious meals,” Y/N smiles at him with her mouth around the fork. 
“It isn’t,” Dean replies and it seems like he really enjoys her enthusiasm.
He hasn’t touched his food, but he’s waiting patiently for her to finish hers. As soon as she does, he gets up and holds out a hand for her to take, “C’mon, we’re taking the dessert in my study.”
“In your study?” 
“Yeah,” Dean grins as he leads her out, “I would have suggested having taken it on the terrace, but it’s too chilly and you’re barely wearing anything. The next best view in this penthouse is from the study window.”
He leads her inside and he’s not really wrong. Now that it’s dark out, the city below them is lit up by a million lights. 
“Is that why it’s your study? Because you spend your nights here often and you wanted a good view?”
Dean hasn’t turned on the light in the room, but there’s enough light coming in from the window that she can see his cheek turning pink, “Maybe,” He shrugs.
Thinking that it’s probably something he doesn’t want to talk about, she makes her way to the couch right by the window, takes off her shoes and curls her legs on the sofa. 
The maid comes in to bring them the dessert and a refill of her wine glass. It’s a really good wine, she can’t lie. It makes her feel woozy in the best kind of way and she can’t stop wanting more, even if her head’s already swimming a little. 
Y/N looks back to see Dean pouring himself a couple of fingers of whiskey before he takes off his suit jacket. He didn’t bother wearing a tie to the dinner. He opens up another button, and it makes him look more relaxed. He sets his glass on to the tray and balances the items over to set it down on the little table next to the couch.
He hands her the plate with what she assumes is something chocolatey. 
Digging her silver spoon into it, she takes a bite, hums and groans as the flavor hits her taste buds. It’s dark chocolate, which normally she doesn’t really like that much, but it’s spiked with something she can’t put her finger on but it’s fucking delicious. 
“Oh my god,” She moans, “It’s so good,”
“I can tell,” He chuckles as he watches her eat.
“Wait,” She pauses her devouring and raises her eyebrows at him. Dean’s only been holding his tumbler and a glance over to the tray, she can see that there isn’t any dessert on it for him, “You’re not having dessert?”
“Nah,” He says, “I’m not much of a dessert guy,”
“What?”
“Yeah,” He exhales, “I’m not much of a fancy dishes kinda guy anyway, but it’s hard if you grew up like that,”
“So, you’re telling me that you’d rather eat something simple than those magnificent dishes your chef creates?”
“Yep,”
“You’re weird,” 
“I know,” He chuckles, “But I’m glad you enjoy it. I’m sure the chef is delighted to have someone to cook for either,”
Y/N takes another spoonful, moaning and closing her eyes again and Dean shifts next to her. When she opens her eyes back up, he’s watching her with a smile on his face.
“Seriously, you’ve got to try this!” She digs into the mousse again and scoops up enough to hold it over to Dean. 
“Oh, no, I—,” He starts to say.
“Please? For me? You’ve got taste it,”
And she’s kind of pestering him, the spoon already brushing at his lips. 
“Come on,” She nudges the spoon to his lips, “I can’t be the only one to enjoy this tonight,” 
Dean rolls his eyes and sighs, but there’s a hint of a smirk playing along his lips, “Fine,” 
He opens his mouth and she pushes the spoon in. Dean's lips seal around the small silverware, and she pulls it out while his eyes are on hers. 
She feels flush, feels hot all of a sudden. It might have been more intimate than she thought it would be.
“And?” She asks and Dean nods his head.
“It’s good,”
“It’s good?” She frowns, “It’s fucking amazing!” 
He smiles.
 *
 After she devoured her dessert they stayed on the sofa and she emptied her glass of wine. And it’s not like she had planned it, but the wine makes her limbs feel heavy and her head light, and somehow, she ends up closer to Dean, laying her head on his shoulder.  
He lets her.
“You know, you did good tonight,” Dean says. She can feel his voice vibrating from his body. 
“Why thank you,” Y/N chuckles, “I’ll take that,”
“You should,” 
He nudges his shoulder up, making her lift her head and Dean takes the opportunity to drape his arm over the back of the couch so that it’ll be more comfortable for her. She doesn’t hesitate to curl herself into his side. She’s overly clingy when she drinks and she hopes he doesn’t mind.
While she looks out of the window, the lights blend into each other. 
“You know, I was wondering,” She starts to say and she doesn’t even know why she says it. It must be the wine speaking, “Have you ever had sex against the window in the dark?”
She can feel his body stiffen significantly. Dean inhales before he lets out an exhale with a chuckle, “How many glasses of wine did you have?”
“Eh, not much,”
“It seems to me like you’re a little tipsy,”
“Ugh, I am not,”
That’s a lie. She’s definitely tipsy. Maybe bordering on being drunk. She’s such a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, it’s a little embarrassing. 
“Right,” He’s still chuckling, “Thank you, by the way,”
Ah, he’s trying to steer the conversation away from the sex. She’s a little disappointed but well, if he doesn’t want to talk about something that’s fine. So, instead of pestering him, she asks, “Thank you for what?”
“For playing it so well. I really believed you liked me.” 
“Dean,” She pauses to look up at him, “I do like you.” 
“Yeah?”
Y/N lays her head back on his chest, “Yeah, you’re not a bad man, Dean. You certainly went out of your way to make it comfortable for my little family.”
“It’s the least I could have done considering you guys are giving up your life to help me out,”
“That counts as something in my book. And you know what?”
“What?”
She chuckles, “You’re funny,”
“I am?”
“Yeah, I don’t think you’re even trying to be but you are. The way you’re always grumpy, it’s kind of funny, to be honest,”
“Hey,” He protests, but he’s chuckling himself. 
“I like spending time with you,” 
“That’s good because I like spending time with you, too,” He says and his hand comes down from the edge of the couch to stroke along her arm. 
They stay like that for a while, both of them staring out the window wordlessly. She enjoys the silence with him, and she desperately tries not to think about him pressing her against the window and fucking her to the backdrop of the city lights. Nope. Totally not on her mind.
It’s when she feels her eyelids getting heavy that she pushes herself away from Dean and maybe she just imagines it, but there’s a subtle whine that comes out of this throat. He catches himself pretty quickly, though. 
“I’m going to bed,” Y/N says and stands up, feels his eyes on her when she rights her dress, “Unless you need me to be your fake fiancée longer,”
Dean smiles as he shakes his head, “No, I’m alright. Have a good night, Y/N. Sam will send you your schedule over,”
“‘K,” She nods, “Good night, Dean,”
 *
 Before she goes into her room, she checks in on Liv, sees the girl sleeping soundly. With a smile, she closes the door to her daughter’s room and makes her way to her own. 
There, she strips off her dress and gets herself ready for bed.
While she lays in bed, though, she can’t help but think about her weird day. If she’d tell Donna, the woman would think that she’s having a fever dream. 
Oh god, Donna.
Y/N grabs at her phone on the nightstand, looks at it for the first time after she has ditched it to go to dinner with Dean’s dad. 
There have been missed calls and texts from Donna, asking her when she’d be back or if she has been fired already because Y/N didn’t return.
Quickly she types in a message, maybe Donna’s asleep already anyway. 
 Y/N: You won’t believe what happened
Donna: OH THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE
Y/N: Shouldn’t you be sleeping?
Donna: I was worried out of my mind
Y/N: What happened after I made my way to the top floor?
Donna: Oh god, you should have seen Raphael. He had to pack his things right away, but he was screaming and thrashing around, refusing to leave so they had to bring in security and had him thrown out of the building.
Y/N: Wow
 Wow, indeed. Dean really fired him. On the fucking spot.
 Donna: The big boss believed you, right?
 She has to chuckle as she types in her next reply.
 Y/N: Well, he has to because I’m his fiancée. He proposed to me in his office.
 It’s a lie, but she has to keep up the illusion, doesn’t she? It’s best if Donna knows it, but only so much to feed into the illusion. She guesses she can explain it later when this will all be over. 
 Donna: WHAT THE FUCK 
Donna: WHAT HAPPENED OH MY GOD TELL ME EVERYTHING
 She can’t help but laugh. 
 Y/N: I’m pretty tired, but let’s just say, I’ll let you know as soon as I can alright? Thought you’d like to know that Dean and I are an item now and that you’ll probably see my face in those glamour magazines.
Donna: FUCK I’M SO JEALOUS
Y/N: Right, I gotta get some shut eye, I’ll be in contact, Donna. Love you
Donna: I love you too, Y/N, even though I’m fucking jealous.
 Still laughing, she places her phone back on the nightstand and curls herself into the soft pillows and comforter and it’s not long before she drifts into sleep.
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Ch. 08
A/N: Thank you for reading until now. Your comments make my day. Buckle your seatsbelts. From now on it’s going to be a whirlwind of events and feelings! Hint: We’ll see Dean and Liv’s interaction in the next chapter!
Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago
Text
Memories
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Summary: When Dean discovers the reader has abilities she’s never told him about, he breaks things off. But when she wanders back into the Winchester’s lives a year later, he starts to realize there’s more to the situation than just a few lies...
Pairing: Dean x reader
Square: Case Fic
Word Count: 8,000ish
Warnings: language, angst, mentioned past abuse/violence, angst, sprinkle of fluff
A/N: Also written for @spndeanbingo​​
_____
Exactly three years and twenty two days after meeting the Winchesters it happened. Two and a half years of dating Dean. Countless nights in motel rooms, in the bunker, on hunts. Cuts, stitches, laughs. Colds and fevers. Being worried sick over one another and nearly dying for each other more than once.
You finally did it.
Dean saw it.
And he was so angry you didn’t even know how to respond.
You didn’t even say a word as he threw a pair of special cuffs on you. You didn’t mention how you weren’t a demon and the cuffs were useless on you. You didn’t put up a fight when you were sat down in the backseat and he drove the two of you back to the bunker.
You were quiet as you got out of the car, Dean not even saying a word as you headed straight for the dungeon without being told. He slammed the door shut after you as you sighed. You took a seat in the chair and slipped out of the cuffs with a little effort, the door opening not long after.
“How did you do that? The cuffs. You’re a demon,” said Dean as he walked straight over to you. 
“I’m not a demon,” you said. “You know it’s me, Y/N. Just-”
“What the hell are you,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you, his hand reaching behind his back and pulling out an angel blade.
“I’m human. I just…” you trailed off as you looked at your lap.
“Just what,” he said, grabbing your chin and lifting your head up.
“Do not treat me like I’m some monster. I saved your life two hours ago. You would be dead if I hadn’t done that. Do not treat me like the bad guy,” you said. He dropped his hand and you saw him hold up the blade.
“Talk.”
“I have certain...abilities,” you said. “One’s I haven’t used in years.”
“So you’ve been lying to me for years then, hm?” he said. 
“It’s not the abilities that pisses you off. It’s that I never told you, isn’t it,” you said. Dean cleared his throat and started to walk away, shoving the blade in his back pocket before he returned with crossed arms. “Dean-”
“You saved me, you get a pass. You have ten minutes to load up your stuff and leave,” he said.
“Dean. I-”
“This isn’t a white lie, Y/N,” he snapped, his face hard as you stood up. “This...this is whatever trust we had being over. If I can’t trust you, I can’t be near you. It’s that simple.”
“I never intended to use those abilities ever again. It’s not something hereditary. It would never have been of any consequence to anyone. I’m human. I didn’t tell you-”
“You didn’t tell me. I told you so much shit,” he said, the hard exterior starting to crack. “I told you about hell. About all the shit I did to souls. About the shit that was done to me. I never told anyone that. No one. That’s just one thing. I told you all of it. Every goddamn second and you...you…”
“It’s a very long story,” you said quietly. “A very long and horrible story that I was too scared to ever tell you. So I lied. I lied about a lot.”
“I don’t even know you,” he said. You reached out to grab his hand but he stepped away.
“Dean, I’m not gonna hurt you,” you said, trying to make your voice as soft as possible.
“You already did,” he said dryly, closing his eyes. “Please go. Don’t come back.”
“I-”
“I’m going out. Be gone by the time I get back.”
One Year Later
“Dean, we got another one,” said Sam. You lifted your head wearily, blinking your eyes open to spot Sam looking down at you. “Y/N?”
“‘ammy,” you mumbled, shutting your eyes again. Within a few seconds you were lifted up in his strong arms. You were drifting in and out, suddenly in the backseat of Baby and then in the infirmary in the bunker. After a little while you opened your eyes and sat up, feeling a bandage on your head. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and stood, immediately plopping back down.
“Sit,” said Dean. You looked behind yourself, Dean standing at a table, most of the lights in the room dimmed down. He spun around with a bowl in his hands and a tray of supplies. You recognized the needle and he was ripping off the gauze and stitching up your forehead before you knew it.
You hissed and he said nothing.
“Cas should be back in the morning. He can heal you then,” he said.
He worked quietly for a few minutes, new gauze stuck on your head when he was finished. He quickly left and hit off the light. You sat there until you heard footsteps, Sam poking his head in and carrying a tray with grilled cheese and tomato soup.
“Hey,” he said, setting it down on the nightstand.
“Hi, Sam,” you said.
“You were out most of the day. I thought you might be hungry,” he said.
“Thank you,” you said.
“Where did you go? You were here and then one day, you were gone. It’s not like you to screw up a hunt like that either.”
“I broke Dean’s trust,” you said. 
“There’s more to it than that,” he said.
“I’m a monster,” you said, laughing dryly when Sam stared at you. “I’m human but I’m a monster.”
“You’re one of the kindest people I know,” said Sam.
“I should go,” you said as you got to your feet. You took a leery step forward and another, Sam grabbing your hand.
“Y/N. What’s going on? You’re not a monster,” he said.
“Yes, I am. Thank you for trying to save me, Sam. But you can’t,” you said. You shrugged out of his grip and took a deep breath. You wound up outside of the bunker, by the bottom of the hill. Your head was spinning but you had enough head start that he wouldn’t find you.
You were staring at the river’s water when you heard a branch snap behind you and a flashlight light up the ground nearby.
“Not a very good hiding spot,” said Dean.
“I thought it was,” you said, closing your eyes, resting your chin on your knees again. “I’m too tired to fight Dean.”
“Good. It means I’ll win then,” he said. He stood next to you, clicking off the flashlight. “You told me about this spot, you know.”
“Once I told you.”
“I used to listen to you,” he said. 
“I don’t care about a scar on my forehead, Dean,” you said. “I’m not going back.”
“Rookie move getting caught on a hunt like that,” he said. “I thought you had super powers.”
“There’s a cost to using them,” you said quietly.
“You never said that before.”
“It doesn’t matter,” you said.
“What does it cost?”
“You wouldn’t understand,” you whispered.
“Your soul?” he asked.
“No,” you said. “The only thing it ever cost me was you. I’m still a monster and a liar. Using them just reminds me of that.”
“Sammy mentioned you look ill,” said Dean. “I thought you looked scared.”
“You’d be doing me a favor by using that angel blade on me at this point,” you said.
“I’ve never wanted to kill you. I’m not going to kill you. You broke us was all,” he said.
“Yes. I did. So why are you here?” you asked.
“I heard there was a long and horrible story, that it might help me understand,” he said.
“No,” you said. He bumped your shoulder and you looked over at him. He stared and swallowed, glancing out at the water.
“Why not?” he asked.
“The time for that was a year ago. You didn’t want to hear it and I respected that. Respect my decision,” you said.
“Alright,” he said, sliding his hand into your coat pocket. You reached inside and felt the ball shape, narrowing your eyes. “Hex bag. You’re coming back with me.”
“First you tell me to go away. Now you make me come back. Take it out and let me leave, Dean,” you said.
“Not without that story. It’s a dick move, trust me, I know,” he said. You plucked out the hex bag and held it in your hand. It burned up in your hand, Dean wide eyed for a moment. “How…”
“Just let me run away. I won’t bother you ever again,” you said as you walked past him. His hand caught your arm and you closed your eyes, Dean gasping behind you. You heard him fall over as you looked back, his hands tied in front of him along with his feet.
“What…” he asked.
“You can’t get out of that, Dean. It’s the same stuff they use in Hell. When I’m away, I’ll remove it,” you said. You started to walk away and you slapped a piece of the material over his mouth when he shouted. “I’m sorry. It’s for-”
You felt yourself get tackled on the ground, your head knocking back against the paved path. 
“Sammy, don’t hurt her,” Dean said and you glanced over, your hold on him gone as he stood up. You tried to push the two of them away but your head hurt too much. You put your hands on it and curled up in a ball. “Call Cas. Tell him we need him home. Now.”
“Morning sunshine,” said Dean as you flickered open your eyes. You looked around, in a dimly lit old room. You touched your head and sat up, Dean setting down his book at the desk. “Cas healed you up. He said your head was looking like a smoothie in there.”
“Felt like it,” you said.
“You should have died like, back at that house on the hunt,” said Dean.
“I know,” you said.
“Apparently you have a ‘dark energy’ about you,” said Dean.
“Yet I’m not in the dungeon...or the bunker,” you said. Dean sighed and looked over your head, your gaze going up to the ceiling. “What is that?”
“Bit of a pain in the ass for me,” said Dean. “We don’t know what you are and that little trick by the river was pretty impressive but that sigil? Anyone with that symbol carved in them ain’t leaving a one mile square area. Two man minimum.”
“You’re holding me here,” you said.
“In this cabin and the surrounding area. I can’t leave either. Not until that gets removed and Cas is the only one that can undo it,” said Dean. 
“I can make you undo it,” you said. You stared him down, Dean frowning when he saw you tie his hands together in front of him. 
“Go ahead and do that. But I literally can’t undo it. We’re both stuck and Sam and Cas aren’t coming back unless it’s an emergency,” said Dean. You got up from the bed and went down a short hall, Dean following you and out through a front door. The air was chilly and you saw the sun was barely up. You walked and walked and walked until suddenly you bounced off of something. You put a hand against it, Dean sighing behind you. “Unless you’re God level powerful, you ain’t getting out.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me. Let me go,” you snapped. Dean held up his hands and you sighed, releasing him before you started to walk around.
“Y/N. Cas carved it into our bones. Rowena put the spell up. We are as stuck here as the day is long,” said Dean. 
“You can’t make me go back inside,” you said as you sat down and leaned back against the invisible wall. 
“I think you’re lying to me again. Something is wrong and you know it. You look sick. You’re weak. You-”
“Go away before I shut your mouth for you,” you said. He nodded and left, going back into the cabin. You sighed and wrapped your arms around your knees. “Castiel if you can hear me, come and take this off of me. Please. I just want to be left alone.”
One Week Later
“What do you want for dinner?” asked Dean as you stared out the window. It’d been raining all day. The cabin was nice and clean, modern and nice. The bathrooms were spa like and you seemed to somehow have internet all the way out in the middle of nowhere.
It would have been a great and peaceful vacation spot if there wasn’t the overwhelming threat in the air that you couldn’t leave.
“Y/N?” asked Dean.
“Whatever you want is fine,” you said quietly, watching the water roll down the panes. Dean walked over and handed you a blanket, running his hand over your head. “You will never get me to talk, Dean.”
“I was angry and I think we both know I had a right to be. But I think we both know I should have given you a chance to explain yourself and I didn’t. We both screwed up. When you’re ready to talk, we will. Until then...we can stay here and learn to be friends again. You’re safe here. You can try to recover from whatever it is that is running you down.”
“You stuck me here so I can’t go on a hunt,” you said. “Didn’t you.”
“That was part of it,” said Dean. 
“I’m not weak.”
“You can kick my ass all on your own. With these abilities you have? Pretty sure you win every time without lifting a finger,” he said. “Maybe you’re strong, way stronger than I’ve ever been. But you are sick. I can see it all over your face. You can recover here until we figure out what to do next.”
“I know what to do next but you won’t let me leave,” you growled. 
“This isn’t up for debate.”
You turned your head, Dean shoving your arm after a few seconds. He pointed at the tie over his mouth and you shrugged.
“You speaking isn’t up for debate,” you said. He rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen, starting to move some pots around.
An hour later he shoved your arm again.
“What?” you said. Dean pointed at the food on two plates. You stood up and went to the table, sitting down and digging in. Dean took a seat across from you, grunting. You slurped down your pasta and stared at him. He scratched at the tie and you went back to eating, his eyes widening for a moment. “It’s not fun having someone control you, is it? Enjoy your Red Special.”
He narrowed his eyes and stood up, going to the bedroom he’d been using and slamming the door shut. 
After fifteen minutes and a few washed pots later, you went to the room, Dean sitting on the floor, his eyes red and puffy.
“Fuck, Dean,” you said, removing the tie and kneeling down. He wiped his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I-”
“Red Special,” said Dean. “Red Special. That’s the first step in a Red Special and you know that. I told you all about Hell but I never told you the names of certain things so how the fuck do you know the name of it?”
You got up and tried to leave, Dean on his feet and grabbing your wrist quickly.
“Tell me. You owe me for that just now,” he said.
“Because I’ve gone through a Red Special before too,” you whispered. You shut your eyes and felt Dean’s hands on your shoulders, guiding you back into his room. He sat you down on the bed and told you not to move. He left for a few minutes before you opened your eyes, Dean returning with a sandwich and glass of water for himself. He shut the door and sat down at the head of the mattress, eating quietly as you sighed.
“You went to Hell?” he eventually asked.
“No.”
“...You had to. There’s no way you could survive-”
“I don’t want to tell you, Dean. Don’t make me tell you,” you said. He leaned over and took your hand, lacing your fingers together. You swallowed and shut your eyes.
“Were you...were you going to…” he trailed off as you shook your head.
“No. I could never do that to you. I shouldn’t have done what I did. My head just...it gets dark sometimes. It gets dark more often. The longer we stay here, the bigger the odds that I end up hurting you,” you said.
“Do you think it’s these abilities making that happen?” he asked.
“I know it is,” you said, a crack of thunder overhead.
“Then let’s try to take it away. Bare minimum information. Tell me and Sam and Cas the bare minimum you think we need to know and we’ll save the story for someday later,” said Dean. “I promise.”
Your whole body shuddered and he gave you a smile.
“S’okay. It’ll be okay,” said Dean. 
“The torturer’s curse,” you said quietly. Dean tilted his head at you and you gave his hand a squeeze. “It’s called the torturer’s curse. There’s no way to remove it.”
“We’ll find a way. We always do.”
Three Weeks Later
“Hi guys,” you said as Sam, Cas and Rowena walked into the cabin. “I made cookies earlier if you want some.”
“Maybe later. Let’s see if we can get you feeling better first,” said Sam.
“Did you bring the cuffs?” you asked.
“One pair of demonic, witch and curse proof cuffs,” said Cas, pulling them from his pocket. You nodded and tried to relax, shaking your head after a moment. Cas put them on and you saw Dean leave his bedroom, shaking his arms out. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah. I pissed her off this morning so you know, been fun around here today,” said Dean.
“Sorry,” you mumbled.
“Hey,” he said gently. “We’re gonna get you fixed up and you won’t be feeling any of this bad crap anymore.”
“I hope not,” you said. You took a seat at the table, Rowena and Sam moving around and setting things up. You had to give them some of your blood, the second it was in the bowl your whole body starting to buzz. “Hurry. It doesn’t like that.”
Rowenna threw something in the bowl and a puff of smoke appeared. She said a few words and then looked at you.
“Well?” she asked.
“I don’t feel any…” you said, quickly closing your eyes, everything off. You fell over, passing out for a few seconds.
“Hey, Y/N,” said Dean, shaking your shoulder as you woke up. Your whole body felt lighter. You tried to do something you could before, anything, but none of it seemed to work.
“Hey,” you smiled, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”
Cas put a hand on your head and nodded.
“I don’t sense the energy in her anymore,” he said.
“It’s gone?” asked Dean. You nodded and let out a laugh.
“It’s gone. It’s gone,” you said as they helped you sit up.
“How did you get a curse like that in the first place? That’s very, very dark magic,” said Rowenna as Sam took off your cuffs.
“It was a unique situation. It won’t happen again.”
“She won’t talk about what happened,” said Sam that night in the bunker. You were laying in your old bed, the boys talking in hushed whispers outside your room.
“I’m not pushing her. This curse was fucking with her head for a while and she’s had it who knows how long and she needs a little peace and quiet,” said Dean.
“Dean. The curse she had is not normal. It is old. The book we found the cure in...they only use the curse in something called a Hellscape. No one’s ever seen it in action. How the hell did she get it?” 
“I’m guessing she’s been to someplace called Hellscape then, genius. Lay off. She feels like shit. Go find a nice easy hunt for us or something,” said Dean. You heard the door open after a moment and Dean enter, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Need anything sweetheart?”
“Do you ever wish you never existed?” you asked. You felt him move around behind you and lay down, warm arms pulling you into an embrace. “That’s not an answer.”
“Maybe I used to, on bad days sometimes,” he said. “I’m glad you’re here though.”
“I’m not sure what the point is,” you said.
“Of life?” he asked as you nodded. “I think you try to leave this place better than you found it.”
“I don’t think that’s why I’m here,” you said.
“Why do you think you are then?” 
“To be miserable,” you said quietly. “A vast majority of my life has been a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. Then I got out of it when I found you guys and then I fucked that up and I’m back in the nightmare.”
“You’re not,” said Dean, resting his head against your back. “You’re not, I swear.”
“Maybe someday I’ll believe that,” you said as you shut your eyes.
“Y/N. Whatever you’re not telling me...it’s okay. I know it’s big. I’ll be here if you ever decide you want to share it. If not, that’s okay too,” he said.
“Thank you, Dean.”
“Hey,” said Sam the next morning at breakfast. “I found a hunt in Norfolk. It looks like a simple demon hunt if you guys want in.”
“Yeah that sounds good,” said Dean as you nodded. You went back to your eggs, closing your eyes. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“Never better.”
“I think it’s that gym teacher. I had a bad feeling about him,” said Sam in the motel later that day. “No demon though.”
“Him and that assistant coach are weirdos,” said Dean. “You see the way they were looking at Y/N?”
“They’re not the person you’re looking for,” you said as you changed out of your fed suit, Sam quickly turning away. 
“How do you know that?” asked Dean. You sighed and slipped on some jeans and t shirt, plopping down on the bed. “Y/N.”
“Because this is my hometown,” you said. They looked at one another and scrunched up their faces. “I’m not from where I said I was. I lied about a lot. I get it. I went to high school with those guys, that’s why they were looking at me like that.”
“Well it has to be a teacher,” said Sam.
“No it doesn’t. It isn’t. I know exactly who it is,” you said, going to your bag and shoving your gun in your jeans.
“Care to share with the class?” asked Dean. 
“It’s my dad.”
“Your what?” he asked. “Your dad is dead.”
“A lie. My mom is but not him.”
“So a demon didn’t kill your parents?” asked Sam. “Or just your mom?”
“I killed my mom,” you said. Both of them shared a look, Dean looking you up and down. “I had my reasons.”
“Y/N,” said Dean, shaking his head. “Ignoring that bombshell, how do you know it’s your dad?”
“He’s the most evil thing in this town,” you said. 
“They didn’t...you know,” said Sam.
“Hurt me? Oh, I wish all they’d done to me was hurt me,” you said. Sam swallowed and you saw Dean nod. 
“Sammy. Go grab some dinner for us. Please,” said Dean. Sam excused himself but you knew Dean only did it for your benefit. “I’m starting to get the picture.”
“What picture is that.”
“Abusive parents with a kid that ends up having a horrible dark curse on them? I have a feeling you didn’t get that from your hunting days,” he said.
“I’ve had it since I was sixteen. I didn’t turn it on until I used an ability for the first time at eighteen when I got out of here for good. Every time I use them, the darker it got,” you said.
“Your dad do that to you?” he asked. “Curse you?”
“Indirectly. You know who gave me the actual curse,” you said. Dean tilted his head. “Alistair.”
You saw his face go white and you nodded.
“Alistair...you knew…” said Dean.
“I knew him before you did. My parents used to call him Ali when I was little,” you said.
“What?” breathed out Dean. “Don’t tell me...tell me he didn’t go near you as a child. Tell me that psychopath wasn’t near you as a kid.”
“I could but it’d be a lie,” you said. He sat down on the bed and ran his hand over his mouth. “It’s my dad that killed those two girls. I know it. Let’s just go deal with him and move on.”
“We are not ending the conversation there. Alistair? That’s-“
“Minimum information,” you said. “I already told you more than enough.”
“Y/N-“
“You of all people can understand why I don’t want to talk about that.”
“I talked about it,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t want to and I did and you know what? After I did, I felt a little better. I trusted you enough to tell you.”
“Dean,” you said, pacing around the room. “It’s not a trust thing. I’ve never told anyone and if you ever find out the whole truth, not the scraps you know, you’ll never look at me the same. I know I’m broken but you didn’t make me feel like it. You guys never did and I know you’ll see what I really am if you ever hear the truth. I’m sorry but I can’t go through that.”
“So you think I was broken?” asked Dean. You rolled your eyes and he stood up. “Did you lie about that too?”
“Go fuck yourself, Dean,” you said, grabbing your backpack. “I never lied about anything like that. You know what? Thanks for everything but I’m gone.”
You stormed out of there, Dean barely getting to the door by the time you were down the block.
Four Hours Later
“Ouch,” you said as you groaned awake. You were cold and your body instantly recognized the chill. You sat upright, the air leaving your lungs. 
It took a moment to realize you were panicking, breaths coming in little sharp jagged beats. 
“Y/N,” you heard from the dark side of the basement. The voice sang song and you backed up against the cinderblock wall. You could feel the shirt you had on now and the light cotton shorts, feel the band on your ankle as you watched him step into the light. “Y/N. Relax, honey. Don’t work yourself up.”
“I…” you said, remembering sneaking into the house and then it all going dark.
“You promised that someday you’d come back and kill me. I took precautions and now...we can go back to the way things were,” he said as he knelt down.
“Dad, don’t,” you said, burrowing back into the corner.
“Hunters aren’t as invincible as they say. I’ll make you a deal. You be a good girl and let Dad have a bit of blood to sell off every so often since you have that been to hell thing going for you, and I will leave the townsfolk alone. Hm? How’s that sound?” he asked. “Or better yet, you be good and I won’t have to do that thing you don’t like.”
“Alistair is dead,” you said as you finally found your voice.
“I know. But I can fool your mind into believing it’s with him, feeling all of that. I’ve learned a few things since you’ve been gone,” he said. “So. Good girl?”
Your body shook and he smirked.
“Don’t worry. We’ll get back to the way things were soon enough.”
He stood up and pet your head, walking away before he hit the light outside the door and locked it.
You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to use your abilities but they were gone.
The Winchesters were your only hope.
It felt like a day had gone by before the door opened. Your father had already paid you one unpleasant visit and you weren’t ready for another.
“Oh shit,” said Dean as the room filled with light. You covered your eyes before you dared expose them to the brightness, Dean rushing over and cupping your cheeks. “Hi, sweetheart. I’m gonna get you out of here.”
“I’m sorry,” you said.
“Me too,” he said. “I forgive you, for all of it. I promise. Let’s get you someplace safe.”
“You can’t cut it,” you said. “You need to break the seal.”
“Do you know how to do that?” he asked.
“You got a knife?” you asked. Dean pulled out a knife and handed it to you. You took a deep breath and held the tip to your foot. You dug into the flesh and sighed. You took the blade and cut into the band, the thing snapping open after a moment.
“What is that?” he asked.
“You can’t run that way,” you said. You stood up and Dean went with you. He helped you walk, pausing when you stopped halfway. 
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you shakily said, stepping over the midpoint of the room, gritting your teeth as you got to the door. Dean picked you up and carried you past the storage area and up the basement stairs, walking you quietly out to the front step outside.
“Where’s my dad?” you asked. 
“Sammy got him,” said Dean. “He’s in the office. I went looking for you.”
“Go check on Sam for me. I don’t trust my dad,” you said.
“If I see him, he’s getting a bullet,” said Dean. You nodded and Dean shrugged off his jacket, putting it over your shoulders before he headed inside. It was warm and smelled like him and you let yourself curl up in the warm safe feeling for a few minutes before you realized Dean hadn’t come back. 
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stood and looked back at the house. You reached into the pocket of the jacket and pulled out Dean’s spare gun. It wasn’t his normal spare. You looked at it and recognized it as the the other one in the set he’d gotten for you years ago. 
You took that as a sign and slowly limped into the house, gun raised as you headed towards the back.
You turned inside and saw your Dad standing by the fireplace, Dean and Sam both knocked out on the floor.
“Winchesters will sell nicely,” he said. “Pieces of course. You will be punished appropriately.”
“No,” you said quietly, pointing the gun. He glanced at you and the weapon flew out of your hands. You were forced down to the floor and you gasped, staring up at him.
“You lose. You always lose,” he said. He grabbed your arm and started to pull you back towards the hall and presumably down to the basement. You caught Dean lazily staring at you. He poked his left side wearily and you reached into his inner left jacket pocket. 
The sound of a switchblade opening was deafening in the room, your father looking down just as you stabbed it into his thigh. You pulled it out and then scrambled backwards, your Dad stalking over you.
A gunshot rang out and he dropped to the ground. You rolled away, looking back to see Dean pointing his gun. 
“You okay?” he asked.
You got to your feet and walked out of the room, sitting down on the front step. You tucked your head between your knees, a gentle hand on your back a few minutes later.
“You’re alright, sweetheart. You’re alright.”
“Hey,” said Dean the next morning as you finished off your hash brown by the water. “Neat little diner they got around here.”
“S’good pancakes,” you said, popping the last piece in your mouth.
“You uh, didn’t say much last night. Or this morning.”
“Didn’t feel like talking,” you said, swinging your feet from where you sat on the railing. 
“You okay?”
“I feel better but I can’t believe it’s actually over,” you said. “I was always too scared to ever come back here.”
“I get it,” said Dean, leaning back against the railing, staring at the diner. “Talking...helps. Even if you were a pain in the ass about it back then.”
“You know when we met, I was so jealous of you. I really hated you,” you said.
“You did? Must have been my charming personality that won you over,” he chuckled.
“You were so happy and you and Sam...you have someone to love you, always. I know you weren’t happy like most people are but you got to have a little bit, a few moments at least. You guys always had each other and I wanted that so bad. I wish I’d had an older brother like you or a little one or something when I was a kid. You have no idea how screwed up I am, Dean,” you said.
“That’s funny,” he said, turning his head towards your own. “You’re one of the most normal people I know.”
“Dean.”
“I don’t know how or why but you are a good person, Y/N. Your parents from the little I do know were horrible. But you’re good and kind. You’re the opposite of screwed up.”
“I don’t feel like it,” you said.
“You will. Eventually,” he said, smiling softly. “Trust me. I learned from this really hot chick all the best ways to help.”
You glanced down and he moved behind you, wrapping his arms around you, kissing your cheek.
“I should have told you the truth back then,” you said.
“I should have been less of a dick. It’s okay. Nobody’s perfect,” he said.
“My parents made a demon deal,” you said, Dean shifting around to sit beside you. “You saw that house. My parents were nobody’s when they were younger. They wanted money and power and they met with a crossroads demon. They presented a unique deal. My soul for the deal,” you said. “I was almost two at the time I think.”
“That’s not possible,” said Dean.
“I know. The demon started to walk away when my parents got creative. Ten years from then, I’d go away for five years, with a demon. They could do whatever they wanted to me. The demon wasn’t interested at first but Alistair popped up all excited and said he wanted to test out some new stuff or something and then agreed. I spent my childhood knowing it was coming. Then I went away and lived in the Hellscape for five years. It’s like bringing hell to earth. It was basically this hidden away cabin in the woods. Apparently it can only be done every so often and needs a whole bunch of stuff and I was the lucky participant,” you said.
“Five years in hell or five years up here?” asked Dean.
“Up here.”
“Fuck,” he said, closing his eyes. “How many years…”
“If a month is ten years…” you said. “It wasn’t great. I blocked out a lot. I can’t even remember most of it. It was weird. I remember the pain but the duration is like a really crappy month or something. But yeah, I hung out in basically hell for five years before the deal was up. Alistair though, he liked me. He said I took a long time to break. He-”
“How long.”
“Hundred years,” you said, Dean nodding. “Dean...it wasn’t like what you went through. That was hell. This was his playground. Some days I was left alone.”
“Can I hear more?” he asked.
“So when my time was up, Alistair gave me the curse. He told me all about it, told me it would strip away the human emotions so I wouldn’t feel so bad. He encouraged me to rip my parents to shreds,” you said. “I wanted to too but when I got back home, I turned into the scared little girl again. I pretended to be a normal teenager at school and then home was...bad. But I met this boy. This guy was following me after one of the football games when I was walking home and this boy chased him off. Ricky. He was the gearhead kid and I was a stupid cheerleader and he was kind. He reminds me of you actually. We dated, secretly, and I started to open up and Ricky was so smart and it turned out he was a hunter’s kid.”
“Ricky Norris?” asked Dean.
“How do you…” you trailed off, Dean smiling sadly.
“Ricky was my friend when I was a little kid. It was rare to meet other hunter’s with kids. I didn’t see him much but I knew Ricky. I never heard from him after we were like twelve,” said Dean.
“His dad had stopped hunting. He and Ricky tried to help me. They helped me learn that my parents threats about going back to Alistair were lies, that it was a one time only thing. He taught me how to fight and what a safe home was and I was going to runaway, Ricky and I were during senior year. But he never showed up and I found out he’d been killed by my parents. So I went home and I didn’t think twice about killing my mom. She and my dad hurt the one person who ever loved me so I killed her and I told him next time I saw him I’d get rid of him too. Then I ran and I hunted and I got so low and down and I wanted that feeling of being loved so bad and then bam, you and Sam walk into my life and you suffocated me with it and I love you two more than you’ll ever know.”
“We know. It’s this thing called unconditional love. We know, Y/N and you got it too,” said Dean.
“You know Ricky had to explain that to me? I understood it. I saw it with my friends and their families but feeling it wasn’t something I ever got until I met you. Ricky tried, he did, but I was too scared to feel it the way you’re supposed to,” you said. “And he and his dad wound up dead because of me.”
“Hunters help people, sweetheart. If I know Ricky, me and him would have been fighting over the chance to help you out. Nothing that ever happened was you fault. You were a child. Barely a toddler. You did nothing wrong. Life handed you all the crap at once it seems,” he said.
“I couldn’t even sleep in my room upstairs. It was the pretend room. I was always in that basement,” you said, Dean putting an arm over your shoulders. “There’s so much they did.”
“All those people and things that hurt you are dead and I’m not gonna let anything else hurt you again. Neither is Sammy,” he said.
“I know,” you said, looking at your hands. “We lost a year because I wouldn’t tell you all of this.“
“What’s a year? We got this place, we got forever upstairs. Don’t sweat it. It’s okay,” said Dean. He took one of your hands and held it in his lap. “I love you.”
“I’m sorry I-“
“Stop apologizing. Please,” said Dean. “We’re good. It’s all good.”
You nodded and leaned your head on his shoulder.
“How about we take a little break from hunting, get everyone feeling better,” he said.
“I’d like that,” you said quietly.
“Me too, sweetheart.”
“Guys,” you sighed from the backseat a week later. “Why are we driving to some middle of nowhere town?”
“First off, we live in a middle of nowhere town too. Second, it’s a forty minute drive which is nothing. Third, it’s a surprise,” said Dean.
“I wanted to lay in bed and eat junk food,” you whined.
“We have a feeling you’re gonna like this,” said Sam. You sighed and a few minutes later they pulled up outside of a house. You followed them out of the car, Dean pursing his lips as he walked around Baby.
“So we may have been working a case this week without you knowing,” said Dean. “Yours.”
“Mine?” you asked.
“Your Dad said some stuff after you left that office last week. Tried to bargain us into helping him, before we finished him off,” said Sam.
“He said something that me and Sam looked into. It turns out, he was telling the truth,” said Dean.
“What?” you asked quietly.
“See that house?” asked Dean, pointing behind you. 
“Yeah?”
“That’s your house,” said Sam with a big smile.
“I’m not following,” you said.
“That is your house. That is where your parents and brothers live,” said Dean, a smile spreading across his cheeks.
“I don’t…” you said.
“The people you thought were your parents? They stole you at a park to use you for their demon deal. Your real parents are inside,” said Dean. 
“Real…” you said, both of them nodding.
“They’ve looked for decades. They ain’t half bad either. Your Dad had a blurry picture of you from your first Wendigo hunt. A little more resources and they might have eventually found you on your own,” said Sam.
“Did you talk to them?” you asked, staring at the house.
“A little. They didn’t believe us at first. I sent them a picture of you and that sealed the deal. They’re good people, Y/N. Whatever you want to do next is up to you, that’s their words,” said Dean.
You turned and headed for the front door, the boys hanging back by the car.
You swallowed as you rang the doorbell, your heart jumping into your throat when you heard someone on the other side.
An older man opened it, a cautious look on his face that turned into a long stare.
“Hi,” you said. He quickly stepped outside and hugged you, picking you up. “You’re my dad?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m your dad,” he laughed. “I’m your dad, kiddo.”
“Y/N,” said Dean, sitting on the back porch a few hours later. “Your mom makes like one of my top ten pies. Ever.”
“I’ll have to send you kids home with one,” she said as she sat back down next to you in the swing seat, your Dad on the other side.
“So what about school? You wanted to be a doctor when you were little,” he said.
“No she didn't. You were obsessed with trying to be a princess,” said your mom. Dean nearly choked on his pie as he started to laugh. 
“Watch it Winchester,” you teased. “I uh, I left school and got my GED.”
“Y/N had a rough go of it,” said Dean.
“The people that took you...did they treat you okay?” asked your mom.
You glanced at Dean and took a deep breath.
“I found some people along the way that became my real family,” you said.
“Y/N. You don’t have to tell us. We’re just glad to have you back,” said your dad.
“I’m okay,” you said, smiling at Dean. “I can’t believe you had four boys.”
“Well the twins were a surprise,” said your dad. “Never had a girl though aside from you.”
“I don’t mind,” you said, Dean polishing off another piece and looking at your mom.
“Does he want more?” she whispered.
“It’s Dean. He always wants more pie, mom.”
“Hey,” said Dean that night as you wandered into the guest room at your parents house. “Was today good?”
“Very,” you said. “I’m not giving up hunting but knowing I have this is incredible.”
“You’ve had a rough go of it. Sam and I wanted to give you your family back,” said Dean as he sat down on the bed and got down to his boxers.
“Dean,” you said, crawling behind him and giving him a hug. “You gave me a family a long time ago. It just got bigger today is all.”
“We love you. We wanted you to know you have more than us though,” he said.
“The Winchester’s have always been enough. I’m so incredibly lucky I have you,” you said, kissing his cheek. “You gave me so much, Dean. I’m so happy to have met my parents and brothers but I’m a Winchester. I’m always going to be that.”
“You have choices now,” he said.
“Yeah. I know what I pick. Same thing as always,” you said. He smiled and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss. “Thank you for today and how sweet you’ve been all week. I’ve been pretty awful to you lately and I never took care of you at all.”
“You were cursed and scared. I thought I told you to stop apologizing,” said Dean, brushing his thumb over your face. “I am okay. You can take care of me too but it’s give and take and I’m good with giving right now. You still need to heal. It’s only been a week. So let’s take a few days and get to know your family. Okay?”
“Okay,” you said, Dean swinging his legs up onto the bed and giving you another kiss. “I love you, Dean.”
“I love you too, Y/N. So, so much.”
_______
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kwinsispn3 · 4 years ago
Text
Last Resort
anon asked: Hey! I love your work! Do you think you could do a sister!reader fic where Dean, Sam and Cas are away on a long hunt, and the reader (younger, maybe between 11-14) has a panic attack? Since her brothers nor Cas can help, Crowley shows up... Thank you!
Word Count: 1,762
A/N: I know panic attacks can be different for a lot of people, so I kind of just made the panic attack in this story how mine usually are. I also set this before the boys found the bunker since Crowley is still around.  *Also not my gif*
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“Hey, wake up.... Y/N c’mon wake up.” Sam said as he shook your sleeping form. 
You rolled over to your side and blinked your eyes open slowly, adjusting to the light shining in from the hallway.
“M’what?” You mumbled.
“Y/N, Cas called us. Dean and I have to leave to go help him, it’s important.”
“What’s going on?” You wondered, looking over at the clock on the nightstand to see that it was 2:30 in the morning. 
“We’ll call you and explain everything later, but we have to leave. We might be gone for a few days but I wanted to let you know.” Sam said frantically.
“Okay, call me in the morning.” You said, still half asleep and not really understanding what was going on. 
Sam nodded and shut the lights off as he and Dean gathered their things before leaving the motel room. You rolled to your other side and fell back asleep within minutes.
....................
You woke up the next morning and sat up in bed, looking around, you were confused as to why Sam and Dean weren't there. It took you a minute but you remembered Sam waking you up. Just as you were thinking about where the hell they went, your phone rang.
“Sam?”
“Hey, how’re you doing?”
“Uh, where are you guys and when are you coming back?” 
“Sorry for leaving in such a rush. Cas called us about some other angels that are going around taking people out. Normally he’d be able to handle this himself but they're moving pretty fast.” Sam explained.
“When will you be back?”
“Not sure, but this one might take a few days. Maybe a week at worst, but we’ll keep you updated.”
“What about food?” You asked, glancing at the small motel kitchen. 
“Dean went on a supply run after you fell asleep last night, the fridge should be stocked. We wouldn’t leave you alone if we thought you couldn't handle it.” Sam said.
“Okay, well, hurry back.” 
“We will. Gotta go, we’ll talk to you later.” “Stay safe, Y/N/N.” You heard Dean say in the background.
....................
It had been 4 days since the boys left and you were bored out of your mind. You had opened snack after snack, watched way too much tv, and even snuck two of Dean’s beers. You knew he would notice and be pissed off but you didn't even care at the time. 
Just when you thought you would be fine by yourself, you weren't. 
The paranoia started to set in, which happened often when the boys would leave on longer hunts and not take you with them. Sometimes, you were able to brush it off and be patient until they got back. Other times like this, it was like a nagging feeling of terrible thoughts that would set off a panic attack.
There was a string of bad thoughts that kept rushing through your head. Wondering if Sam and Dean would be okay, if they were going to make it back safely, or if they were already dead and you just didn’t know it yet. 
These thoughts sent you pacing back and forth around the motel room. You chewed your lip as you imagined Sam and Dean walking through the door with their bags, trying your best to calm yourself down. 
You sat down on the edge of the bed as you felt your breathing picking up, feeling so panicked and uncomfortable, being alone for longer than you were okay with. You wanted to call Sam and Dean to check in but you didn’t want to be a bother. Your brothers knew that you had occasional panic attacks, but they didn’t know the extent of them. It was also a little embarrassing, so you decided to keep it on the low. 
That’s when your phone rang, seeing it was Sam, you answered almost right away.
“Sammy?” You breathed out.
“Hey kiddo. What’s up?” Dean answered instead.
“Uh, hey.... nothing much.... Is Sam there?”
“Yeah, he just fell asleep in the passenger seat. Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine, just um.... when will you be back?”
“We just finished up actually. We were able to track down the last string of dickhead angels so were on our way back right now.”
“How long?” You asked a little too eagerly. 
“Should be there in about 4 hours, could be less.... You know how I drive.” Dean let out a chuckle. 
“Ok great, hurry back.” Was all you could think of saying before hanging up the phone. 
....................
Sam stirred in his seat, waking up and turning to Dean to see his phone in his hand. “What are you doing with my phone?”
“Y/N called, she was just asking where we were.”
“Oh. How is she?”
“Good... sounded a little weird though.”
“What do you mean weird?”
“I dunno. She’s probably just getting impatient.”
Sam took a moment to think about how Dean worded that, realizing you might've been having an episode.
“No more stops tonight, let’s get back as soon as possible.”
“Why?”
“She might be panicking a little bit, we’ve been gone for almost a week.”
“She’ll be fine, she just needs to get used to being on her own.” Dean started being insensitive. 
“Dean, I don’t think you know how panic attacks work.”
“She doesn't still have those, does she?”
“Yes, as far as I know she does, and depending on the person, they can get pretty bad.”
Dean didn't say anything after that and continued to drive faster. 
....................
You sat on the floor up against the motel bed and talked to yourself in your head, praying to Cas since your brothers were still a long ways away. You repeated the same message over and over, expecting to see Cas pop up in front of you, but it never happened.
You started to panic even more that you started to repeat your cry for help out loud, not to anyone directly, but in hopes of feeling like someone was listening. 
You weren’t expecting it but someone was listening. 
And that someone was Crowley.
Crowley appeared after minutes of you talking, it scared the shit out of you, making you spring up from where you were sitting. 
“What the hell are you doing here?” You questioned.
“Well, someone is a little uneasy from what I heard.” He glanced back at you.
“Why are you even listening to me?”
“You clearly wanted someone to, and I was in the area.” Crowley said jokingly.
“Sam and Dean aren’t gonna like it when they see that you’re here.” You said as you backed up out of habit.
“Sam and Dean aren’t going to be here for a while now are they love? I might as well give you some sort of company.” He smirked, as he pulled out one of the kitchen chairs to sit down.
“Why are you acting nice?”
“Who said I was acting? The king of hell can’t do little Winchester a favor?”
“Why would you want to though, it’s pretty unlike you.”
“Let’s say I owe you and your brothers one, I can’t always be ruining things can I? That would just be bad for my reputation.” Crowley sassed.
You scoffed at his sarcastic remarks, then realizing that he did a good job of distracting you from how you were feeling.
“Thanks” you gave a small smile, accepting the nice gesture Crowley gave. 
“No need... Well, I guess my work here is done.” Crowley sighed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have business to attend.” Before you could turn around to hear what Crowley was talking about, he was gone. Moments later, you heard a familiar car engine pull up in front of the motel room. 
Perfect timing.
You drew the curtains to reveal your brothers emerging from the car, with Cas already walking up to the door.
You let out a sigh of relief as you welcomed all three of them inside.
“Hello Y/N.....” Cas paused and looked around with suspicion growing on his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I had a sense that one from the opposite side was lingering in this vicinity.”
“Okay, I literally understood none of that.”
“There was a demon here at some point. I’m sure of it.”
“Y/N, what’s he rambling about?” Dean asked as he hauled in the last of the things from the impala.
“Uh, I don’t know.” You lied.
Sam could see right through you face and knew something had happened. You didn’t look okay.
“Y/N, was there someone here? Did something try to hurt you?” Sam asked, grabbing Dean’s attention, stopping him from what he was doing.
“Well, Crowley...”
“Crowley!? Was he here?” Dean’s voice boomed.
“Dean, can you please not make a big deal...”
“Big deal!!?”
“Dean, dude seriously chill out. Just tell us what happened, Y/N.” Sam interrupted.
You told the three boys everything that happened. Sam immediately felt bad that he wasn’t there. Dean was worried that his little sister dealt with panic attacks this bad, but he still wasn’t happy that the king of hell just decided to pop in without warning. 
“Y/N/N, why didn’t you tell me over the phone?” Sam asked.
“I didn’t want you to worry. Plus, you were too far anyways.”
“Well next time that happens, you call us, no matter where we are. I promise, you mean more to us than our work, we’d drop everything, even if we were miles away just to get to you.” Sam explained.
“Yeah, what he said.” Dean chimed in.
“Wow, I love how much you care.” You joked.
“You know I love you Y/N/N..... but I’m gonna have to lay down some rules with Crowley, and one of them is no dropping in when I’m not here. I don’t trust that shady punk.”
Sam rolled his eyes and shrugged his arms, motioning for a hug which you gladly accepted.
“Nothing but chick flick moments over here. Get a room.” Dean scoffed.
“Shut up!”
“So, where is Crowley now?” Cas asked innocently.
“Were you even listening the whole time?” Sam asked confused.
“No, there is many things being said over angel radio.” 
“God dammit, Cas.” Dean said as he got up to grab a beer out of the fridge. “Who drank my beers?”
“Wasn’t me...” Sam shrugged. 
You knew you were in big trouble, forgetting about the choices you made earlier. So you slipped out the front door to let Dean cool down, but he had other plans. Sam quietly ratted you out as he motioned to the door that had just shut.
“Y/N! Get back here!” 
Requests are open again!
Tags:
@jackjackljaqui ​@hunting-the-grievers @susan-is-in-the-house@flirtyonsie @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @justsomedreaming
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