#Cas finds him SO endearing it hurts

[casdeans-pie]

Here's a preview from chapter 3 of Cabin of Feathers, since it's taking a while to write due to the holidays.........

Dean pulls out his old portable cassette player from the trunk, places it on the ground, a safe distance away from the water, and loads it up with one of his favourite mix tapes. He hits play and immediately cranks the volume dial up, letting the twang of guitars and deep drumbeats of his favourite classic rock tracks blare out at maximum. For a moment Dean just hums along, nodding his head, but he soon starts strumming on an invisible guitar and singing loudly, unable to help joining in.

He moves his fingers along the pretend strings, pressing on chords he vaguely remembers, and lets his muscle memory take over. He hasn’t played a real guitar in so long; he really needs to start taking lessons again. Amara couldn’t stand to hear him practice, so she convinced him that it would be better to just sell his guitar so they could spend the money on an air fryer instead.

Fuck that air fryer.

It's exhilarating to know that he can be as loud as he wants, since there’s nobody around for miles that would hear him. Boldened by the thought, Dean strums even more energetically on his air-guitar and pretends to throw it up in the air and catch it, winking at the imaginary crowd all cheering for him.

He gestures at the trees surrounding him and claps his hands. “Thank you!” he yells over the deafening volume of his tape blasting out into the forest. “You’ve all been such an amazing audience!”

Dean finally turns to go back inside for a beer, the only missing element for washing his car, when that familiar feeling of being watched prickles the back of his neck. He whips his head up to see the crow perched on the roof of the cabin. As soon as their eyes lock it flaps its wings frantically and scrambles to keep its footing before it’s forced to glide down to the ground.

Embarrassment flares uncomfortably through Dean as he hastily turns the volume down on his cassette player to a low murmur, feeling foolish to be caught indulging in silly fantasies, even by just a bird.

[ghoastixx]

SPN Boys w/ angel wing tattoo gn! reader

Synopsis: The Supernatural boys reaction to finding out you have angel wings tattooed onto your back.

Warnings: Mention of possible innuendos

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Dean

When he sees them for the first time, he's suspicious. He's seen angels, knowing how tricky they can get.. Perhaps you were just another trick of Heaven to make him vulnerable. He doesn't like it

Once you both confirm that no, you are in fact not an angel, he chills out about it a bit.

Definitely asks you if you regret it now that you both know how big of dicks angels are.

Doesn't really ask about it. The most he would do is get drunk and ask why you got it but that's it. He really doesn't care much.

As much as he's indifferent about it, he'd eventually grow to adore it.

"Hey! Angel!" Castiel looks over, "No, not you. Y/N."

I personally think he would like to look at them. He would like it if you wore shirts with the back showing or no shirt at all.. He just wants to see them.

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Sam

Much like his brother, he's a little suspicious at first, would interrogate you.

"Y/N," "Yes Sam?" "What's that tattoo for?" "Which tattoo." "On your back." "Angel wings?" "Yes." "Just liked them." "Oh."

He would trust you, especially if you have other tattoos that don't have to do with hunting or the such.

Would ask you about them, constantly referring to them as "Your wings."

A long day of interrogation of a town? He's patting the spot next to him on the small motel bed saying, "C'mere, I'll rub your wings for 'ya."

Messy hunt? "Go clean your wings off, Y/N."

It's even funnier if Dean doesn't know about the tattoo. He's so confused as to why his brother keeps mentioning you having wings. Assumes it's sexual.

He just..adores them? In a way he feels as if you are an angel sent to keep him in line.

He'd rather have you than other angels anyways.

Would 100% call you angel out of it. Forget any other nickname he may of been trying out, you are now just angel.

"So, angel, get this.."

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Castiel

He doesn't understand at first. At all. He will ask you about it.

"Why are you pretending to be an angel?" "Excuse me?" "You have wings drawn on.." "Oh, my tattoo?"

Once you explain it to him, he calms down a bit, but he's still a bit confused. Why did you get it, why angel wings? Why the specific design? Why on your back? Did it hurt? Lots of questions.

He likes them. Why wouldn't he? It makes him feel closer to you in a way.

Dean will refer to you two as "the match made in heaven."

It's cheesy.

I think Castiel would like tracing over them with his finger, dedicating it to mind.

He likes having something in common with you, in a way. He thinks it's endearing.

"Y/N," "Yes, angel?" "Take your shirt off," "Oh-Cas-" "I would like to examine your tattoo."

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Gabriel

Oh this cocky bastard.

He's honored, for starters, or at least that's what he says.

"oh-Baby, what's that you got there?" "Gabriel, what are you talking about." "Those delicious wings you've been hiding from me."

He understands the concept of tattoos more than Castiel does, so he doesn't have too many questions.

He just thinks that they are hot, and honestly he is so valid for that.

"I mean- these are almost better than the real things!"

He likes to tease you about them, since he's in fact the inspo.

But, happy spouse is a happy house, he does constantly talk about how much he likes them. Constantly.

"C'mon sugar, let me see them again, please???" He loves to look at it, touch it, etc.

He gets sad when he remembers you don't actually have wings.

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Lucifer

I do not think he'd be a fan.

Sure, he stands you as a human, but.. a human pretending to be an angel?

"Darling, you realize you're not an angel, correct?" "Yes, Luci." "Just making sure."

Sure, he wouldn't say anything about it to drive you away, but he thinks you have a lot of nerve.

He doesn't like to think about it too much.

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Crowley

Bud does not really like them much due to what they represent but he really doesn't care.

He'd go so far as to just call you an angel to go along with it.

he's really indifferent about it :/

[tokiro07]

Toki Reads Shonen Jump 2024, Issue #52

HxH: Morena's card game begins, and she exposits that she was conceived in a state-sanctioned non-consensual orgy; Borksen learns that thanks to Nen restrictions, she actually does have actually does have an escape route. The implications of Morena's backstory are certainly staggering, but also lost on me

Yozakura: Taiyo has an "I know you're in there" fight with himself, ending with him expelling Asa by shooting himself in the heart. Taiyo's willingness to damage his own body to make it uninhabitable to Asa doesn't seem ideal, but definitely preferable to being possessed

Undead Unluck: Soul tries to force Andy and Victor's souls back together, but Rip cuts them apart permanently with Unrepair. This is Rip's capstone, where he finally uses Unrepair for someone else's happiness instead of ruining his own with it

Roboco: Roboco writes more shameless ripoff manga, but finally learns that her own original material is a lot better. I have no faith that this lesson will stick

Sakamoto: Atari's luck has literally run out; she reveals to Tenkyu that his friendship w/ Uzuki is irreparable; Shin resolves to kill Tenkyu, even if it means severing ties with Sakamoto. Both Tenkyu and Shin are losing their friends because they're killing in their name against their wishes; Atari's an idiot for using such an obscene amount of luck last chapter just to fire ONE bullet

EluSam: Tokiyuki and realKojiro gush over Kojiro as he fights Nagao; the scene cuts away to Mima getting into architecture and interior design. This seems to have an affect on enemy morale, but I feel like it's not worth ignoring what seems to be Kojiro's most important fight

Witch Watch: The flashback gang discusses the legacy of Familiars and their prejudice towards humanity; Kuon warms up to the team, and Taiga raises more death flags. The idea of magic fading away as a sign of peaceful times is a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately because I've been revisiting Medaka Box; this may inform a future essay

Blue Box: Taiki endears himself to Chinatsu's dad with his earnest, if a bit overbearing, nature. I'm glad we're not drawing out the tension too much, it makes the dad more relatable

Akane: Despite Miroku's refusal to let them perform, Shiguma and Issho learn enough rakugo for Kiroku to give them a slot; Miroku offers to grant Kiroku his name and rank if he will use it to expel the pair. This is clearly the event that led to the founding of the Arakawa School, but even with a foregone conclusion, it's a nailbiter

Kill Blue: Juzo and Shin use assassin techniques to advertise the bakery; Yoichiro wagers his staff's bonuses to whichever club can beat their challenges. Clearly he's plotting something, but I can't quite see yet how this furthers his plans

Nue: Rido spontaneously achieves his Bankai Spirit Armor and promptly passes out. It looks cool, but I'm already so unclear on this power system's rules that such an upgrade only serves to confuse me further

Kagurabachi: In a side story, we revisit everyone's favorite guy, Sojo, trying desperately to enjoy a bath despite his routine being ruined at every turn. Looking back, I'm sad that Sojo died; I hope he continues to haunt the narrative

Chojo: Keinain's new assistant, Makami, finds everything about the Chinjuku station to be lewd; this is not because she's a prude, but an extremely repressed pervert. Would

Astro Royale: Himuro reveals he became a cop to stop the Yotsurugi family from interfering with his dad's business, but only found out later that they were supporting him through hard times; the damage he caused this business relationship resulted in his father's suicide; he eats the Daybreak Ore and becomes a mutated mass. Himuro's motivations now reflect Kinpa's, but just like he hurt his dad by targeting the Yotsurugi's, his rage is misdirected and self-destructive

Kiyoshi: Asuta's time runs out and he gets away, cementing the sacrifices made to summon him; as he leaves, he calls Kiyoshi his soulmate in a perverse twist on Kiyoshi's own desire for friendship. Axe-deniers when the lead fails and lets 100 innocent people die - 🎉🍾🥳🎊🥂; throw the yaoi girlies in there too since there's about to be a huge boost in sales

Hima-Ten: Tenichi takes up the rear on the class hike; Himari fakes an injury to keep him company. Very cute, but how the hell does this moron not realize she's in love???

Ichi: Just before the contest begins, Ichi sees a mysterious figure; the Kindake Magik vows to kill everyone who doesn't worship his mushrooms, then escapes into his mushroom forest. So much for not being a human-hater; Togeice's poor sense of direction will certainly make this challenge much harder on her

Shinobi: Yodaka sabotages Hachikuma's strings and turns them against him. Though heavy-handed, Yodaka straightening and braiding Hachikuma's discarded, tangled strings as a symbol of the value of putting effort into maintaining relationships is sweet

Hakutaku: The mechanics of the AR game are explained, but Hikuma sleeps through people actually enjoying it. Maybe it's cus I don't like mobile games, but I do not see the appeal of this game, which is probably the most damning indictment of a game design manga

Syd Craft: Elio is revealed to be Levie Olyn, Syd's favorite romance author, who became his assistant after he cleared her name in a case; she writes her books to vent her DEFINITELY NOT ROMANTIC feelings for Syd. That's a great dynamic, I love girls who pine, I'm super endeared to this idiot

My top 3 manga for the week are:

Undead Unluck, unsurprisingly, for its fantastic color page, multiple great spreads, and at least two of what will undoubtedly become the most iconic moments in the entire series; congrats on netting the final cover of the year!

Syd Craft for continuing to expand upon its concept in a way that really appeals to me; let it be known I never said Tsutsui was a bad author, I just said he was a coward

Kiyoshi for dodging the axe, establishing an interesting dynamic between Kiyoshi and Asuta, and the bravery to leave it on such a bleak cliffhanger

Runners up include Astro Royale and Shinobi Undercover, both for giving me some interesting symbolism to chew on, as well as Hima-Ten and Chojo for women in denial that fall short of Elio

Edit: I want to correct something I said last week - it does not seem like Bug Ego is joining Weekly Jump after all, I think someone I follow on twitter either got a bad tip or I misunderstood what they said. Bug Ego was added to the Shonen Jump app, not Shonen Jump itself. Apologies for any confusion!

[jenanigans1207]

“I’m scared of things that can hurt me.” Dean says more to his feet than to Cas.

“Dean,” Cas says, his voice straining on the word. “I would never hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” Dean reassures. “Not on purpose. Not if you could help it. But loving you? Cas, that can hurt me— or at the very least be used against me.” Dean takes a shuddering breath. “If someone had you and they told me the only way to get you back was to burn the world to the ground, I’d do it.”

“Dean—“

“I would.” Dean insists. “Unless there was some other option that was immediately accessible, I don’t even think I’d hesitate.”

Cas takes a breath that Dean can hear. He doesn’t dare look up to see the expression on Cas’s face. “You wouldn’t burn the world down for me, Dean.”

“Why not?” Dean finally gets the guts to glance up and is wrecked to find how open and vulnerable Cas’s expression is. “What good would the world be to me if it didn’t have you?”

He doesn’t even have to imagine it because he knows. He’s lost Cas before and with him, every ounce of his will to live. After the last time Cas died, Dean genuinely thinks the world could have literally been on fire around him and he wouldn’t have lifted a finger to put the flames out. He’d simply have opened his arms wide and let the flames lick at his exposed flesh, at all the places he was bleeding raw heartbreak.

“You have plenty of other things to live for,” Cas reasons. “Sam, for example.”

That at least earns a half smile from Dean and a little bit of the tension that has been twisting his heart into knots for weeks at this point loosens. “Alright, you got me there. But I’d find a way to save him. And probably Eileen, too, so I don’t have to listen to him bitch forever.”

That earns a matching half smile from Cas, who shakes his head fondly, like no matter how many times he has watched the Winchesters do unbelievably reckless and increasingly impossible things, he still finds it endearing. And isn’t that something? That an angel of the lord would find love, comfort, and belonging nestled in the violence of Dean’s life? That Dean Winchester— arguably the most faithless man to ever exist, even after meeting God— could inspire such selfless and unconditional devotion? Isn’t it something that he has finally found something to live for, when living wasn’t ever something he expected to do much of anyways?

Somehow, the worst moments of Dean’s life, the worst decisions, and the worst heartbreaks have all culminated in the greatest thing that could have ever existed— a messy-haired, blue-eyed angel who had decided that whatever half-cocked idea of the week Dean was following was better than the millennia old divine plan that God had literally created the universe for. A messy-haired, blue-eyed angel who had seen and cradled Dean’s soul, had been betrayed by him and then revived by him, only to be let down by him in some spectacularly new way. A messy-haired, blue-eyed angel who loved him back.

“If you asked me to burn the world down,” Dean whispers as his gaze locks on Cas. “I’d do that, too.”

“Even if I asked you to burn Sam with it?” Cas teases, so much affection in his voice that it feels like it spans the gap between them and caresses Dean’s cheek.

Dean huffs a laugh that’s a little more choked than he would like it to be. “Know your place.”

Cas finally bridges the gap between them then, stepping so he’s close enough to actually caress Dean’s cheek if he wanted to.

“I’d burn the world for you, too, Dean.” Cas whispers back, the reciprocation of Dean’s feelings bleeding in between the lines.

“Sam, too?” Dean intends for it to be teasing, but it comes out breathless.

Cas shakes his head. “No, I’d save Sam.” He says, meeting Dean’s gaze. “Only because I know how mad you’d be if I didn’t.”

Dean smiles and the last of the weight lifts off his chest. “Goddamn right I would be.” He reaches across the short distance between them to cup a hand around the nape of Cas’s neck, dragging him closer and barely managing to mumble “who else would make fun of us for taking so long?” before he’s kissing Cas.

Cas kisses him back with the same level of ardent adoration that Dean’s used to seeing in the edges of his stares, the fingerprints of each and every touch he has seared into Dean’s skin over the years. Cas meets him in the middle the way he always has, opening up for Dean and leaning into Dean— being a steady and strong presence for Dean to lean into, too.

Cas’s hand cups the angle of Dean’s jaw, his thumb tracing a delicate pattern across Dean’s cheek as he pours a decade’s worth of love and devotion into one kiss. It’s overwhelming in the best way possible and for a minute, Dean forgets to be afraid.

When they pull apart, Cas reads the expression on Dean’s face and does what he’s always done best— delivers Dean the perfect line to break the tension and make it so Dean can breathe again. “I’m sure anyone who has spent any time with us in the last decade would be happy to make fun of us for taking so long. But Sam certainly deserves that right more than most.”

And it’s exactly the perfect thing to say because Dean is breaking into a laugh that’s watery at the edges, bowing his head to press it against Cas’s shoulder as one hand reaches up to press against Cas’s chest. Dean can’t see his face, but he can feel how pleased Cas is in the way his hand settles on Dean’s hip and pulls him a step closer.

“God,” Dean breathes into the fabric of a stupid coat that went and changed the entire trajectory of his life. “I love you so fucking much.”

Cas’s other hand reaches up to cradle the other side of Dean’s head, a gentle pressure that holds him steady as Cas turns his head to press a kiss into the short hair above Dean’s ear. “I have been alive for every moment of human history, and I have never loved anything or anyone the way that I love you.”

Dean is shaking apart at the seams, vibrating from the very fibers of his soul until everything he knows about who he is has been altered fundamentally with the acceptance of Cas’s love.

“Show off.” He mumbles into Cas’s shoulder.

Cas laughs warmly, his shoulder shaking under Dean’s forehead as his fingers start to stroke tenderly through his hair. “And I am absolutely certain that I will never love anyone else like this. You’re the only one for me, Dean.”

Now everything about Dean is watery with the need for happy tears, even if he fights the urge. Instead, he raises his head again to meet Cas’s unabashedly adoring gaze.

“You’re it for me, too, Cas.” It doesn’t hurt to lay his heart bare the way he thought it would. But then again, it’s Cas. Cas, who would never hurt him, no matter what side of Dean he saw. Cas who loved him in one way or another when he was at the rack, when he had the mark, when he was a demon, and every other awful moment in between. “When you know, you know, right?”

Cas tilts his head in that same way he did over ten years ago, the way that doomed Dean before he even knew the Angel’s name. Only this time, instead of bewilderment, Dean is met with a smile so warm, it could be the source of heat that burns the world down.

“When you know, you know indeed.” Cas murmurs before kissing him

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Stargazer

Author: Ryan_A

Artist: Outofthecavern

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/others, Castiel/Inias (prior)

Length: 220000

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage (mentioned)

Tags: Biologically Necessary Submission (Bio BDSM), Dubious Consent, Dominant Castiel/Submissive Dean, Training/Rehabilitation Center, Hurt/Comfort, Doctor Castiel/Patient Dean, Age Play, Suicidal Ideation (brief), PTSD with Flashbacks, Angst with a Happy Ending

Posting Date: November 8, 2023

Summary: Dean Winchester hates his biology. When he presented as a submissive, it made him a target. From catcalling to groping to physical abuse, Dean has learned the hard way that Dominants can’t be trusted. Unfortunately, as a male—especially a tall male submissive—he’s a rare find. A gold mine to sub-trafficker Asmodeus, a ruthless Dominant with an appetite for torture who snatched Dean from outside his local bar. When Dean manages escape and is hospitalized, suffering from physical injuries and severe trauma, specialist Dr. Castiel Novak is called upon to admit Dean into his private rehabilitation center. As Castiel nurses Dean back to health, Dean faces his instinctive need to escape. Castiel is a Dominant—the enemy—but Castiel has also been kind, nurturing, and everything opposite to what Dean has come to know. But as Dean considers letting down his walls to let Castiel in, Asmodeus is in the shadows, scheming to get his prize submissive back.

Excerpt: “Are you always this bossy, Sir?” Dean says it lightly but immediately wants to pull it back—he’s gone too far this time. His shoulders curve in, anticipating a scolding, but instead he feels the warm huff of a chuckle against his skin. “Are you always so . . .” Castiel’s voice trails off, as though searching for the right word, but Dean can think of several. “Irritating? Rebellious? A pain in the ass?” Castiel’s mouth ghosts over Dean’s neck above his collar, his breath hot as he replies, “I was going to say endearing, but the others work too.” Dean snorts. “Gee, Cas, you really know how to butter a guy up.” Dean’s brain hits pause, rewinds his words to replay them, and oh my god, I just called him Cas. Not the respectful Sir, as is expected. Not even Dominant Castiel. But Cas—a nickname he has no right or permission to use. Panic darts into Dean’s stomach and self-preservation has him trying to worm his way out of Castiel’s arms. But his doctor pulls him closer, fingers pressing possessively against Dean’s belly, a leg sliding over his own and pinning him in place. “Dean . . . I like my name on your lips,” the man says, and hot damn—the rumble in that voice, thick and deep and so goddamn tantalizing—hell fucking yeah, Dean likes his name on Castiel’s lips too. And the way Castiel holds him, this kind of possessiveness—affectionate, playful, respectful—this is the kind of domination Dean would so easily submit to. Not like he’d ever say that, but he does hum in approval, in pleasure, in relief. “My precious boy, you have no idea how special you are to me.” Castiel’s voice—his words—are like syrup, medicinal yet tooth-rottingly sweet that makes Dean want to be doctored by Castiel any day of the week. And here—held by this Dominant’s gentle touch, comforted by his affectionate words, and safe in his protective embrace—the cluttered noise in Dean’s mind calms. And as he begins drifting off, one single thought remains: he never wants to let this go.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[castieldelamancha]

The mocking laughter of the other kids still can still reach Dean's ears, no matter how fast he is walking them both away from them. He even turns around to check if they are following them. He doesn't want trouble, he can't get in trouble, fuck, dad told them to stay at the motel. He should have listened. 

He just wanted Sam to have some fun, to be a kid, he wanted to do something normal too, for once, he is old enough to protect them both, he was sure it was going to be fine. And it was, Sam was getting a bunch of candy, Dean had even found a costume for him at a thrift store, the thing is old, a tad too big for him, but he was having fun. 

Now he is gripping his hand tightly and asking quietly if they are close to the motel.

.

A hand in the small of his back brings Dean back to the present, he leans back into its touch and the laughter that reaches him now isn't mocking, but gleeful, there are kids running around them, playing tag and sharing the candy they have gotten earlier in the evening.

No one is paying them any mind really, except for the group of teenagers that walked past them a while ago and told them their costumes were cool. There wasn't much to choose from at the store they drove to this morning, but Dean was able to put together a cowboy costume for himself and one of a roman centurion for Cas.

Apparently, or so Castiel has informed Dean, they are a pretty popular movie reference, and he has already promised Cas they will eventually watch that movie together.

They aren't an ex hunter and ex angel here, they are just a normal couple that have joined the Halloween festivities for the night. 

Dean allows himself to relax even further into Castiel's hold.

They were heading back home when they decided to stop in this small town for a night, Dean smiling at Castiel's stubborn worry "I know you can keep driving, but you don't have to anymore, we can stop and rest."

The original plan wasn't staying for more than a night but then the guy behind the motel's counter pointed at a colorful poster on the wall behind him and way too merrily, considering it was two in the morning, informed them about the town's Halloween party the very next night.

Dean had tried to play it cool, "sounds great buddy, thanks." But Castiel, always close and always aware of Dean and every miniscule switch in his expression had seen through all that bullshit, asking him if he would like to stay for the party as soon as they were alone in their room.

"Do you want..." He says now, pausing for a moment and gesturing towards the people crowding the improvised dance floor in the square of the town hall, "maybe we could well...? Lol" and it's a bit awkward and utterly endearing.

Dean decides to have some mercy and smiles playfully, "are you asking me if I want to dance with you, Castiel?" He gets a roll of eyes for an answer and the hand that was on his back moves away to find his, he tangles their fingers together and gently tugs until Dean is following him to where everyone is dancing, they keep their distance of course, opting for an empty corner.

Dean looks around, huffing lightly, amused, at the decorations around them, a collective effort of this town, the plastic squeletons hanging from the lampost, withches and zombies too, an array of pumpkins smiling at him and he wishes it all could be just this, a fun way to spend a night, that none of these monsters were real and out to hurt people. 

Castiel, who Dean is pretty convinced has never danced before but that always fills any blank spaces left by his inexperience with a determined enthusiasm, rests a hand on his left shoulder, lifting the other, still holding Dean's, and steps closer to him, swaying them lightly to the music, too slowly for the rhythm of it, but Dean isn't about to complain or speed them up, he steps closer to Castiel too, and lets himself enjoy the moment, the soft glow of the Moon and of the lights around them, the warm radiating from Castiel, the bright, loving, eyes, staring at him. He wraps an arm around Cas' waist and pulls him even closer, their chests pressed together.

Castiel opens his mouth to speak, smiling brightly all of a sudden, "I have seen they held a pumpkin carving contest," and maybe that isn't the poetical declaration Dean was waiting from him, "there is one that has freckles, you have to see it too." 

Dean laughs, shaking his head, his laughter only spurred on by Castiel's clear confusion, "I love you, Cas." 

Castiel's expression softens, his smile coming back in full force, "I love you too."

[neverendingparable]

@imaginepostingonsideblogs

Your name is Bradley Spencer and your boyfriend is trying to kill you.

Or at least, you think he is trying. ‘Trying’ because he just attacked you with a knife, ‘trying’ because he didn’t cut far enough to finish you off quickly. Rex’s knife. That somehow makes it worse.

The gash around your neck is deep enough to fill your throat with blood, and it’s shallow enough that you think it might’ve been an accident.

It was an accident, right? Something spooked him and he attacked, blindly. That’s why he’s backing away in horror, that’s why he looks so guilty. Why isn’t he calling the ambulance? He needs to call someone, you’re sure they’ll understand if he explains that he slipped up.

He didn’t mean to stab you.

You try to tell him that it’s alright, it was an accident, but he needs to get someone here right now or else-

Your mind blanks, you can’t think of that. You’re not going to. It’s not going to happen.

-else you will keep bleeding all over your carpet and it’s going to be a pain in the ass to clean up. He doesn’t want to spend the weekend scrubbing your blood off the carpet, right? You will make him help, you swear to god. So he better call someone before it has the chance to dry.

You take a breath to threaten him with hours of scrubbing stained fabrics but blood rushes in instead of air and your lungs protest. You’re starting to get scared.

Cas is still not taking out his phone.

It’s like jumping into a pool and inhaling water, except that it hurts worse than anything you’ve ever felt. You feel tears welling up from the sheer pain. Faintly, you thought your adrenaline would keep you from the worst of it, keep you detached from the actual event but you are as present as ever and you feel every throb of your severed flesh.

You’re going to die.

It’s no longer a possibility looming over you, it’s the only road, the only possible ending. Cas isn’t going to help.

Fear kicks in, raw and animalistic, cold like you just plunged into ice water. Your entire body shudders. You’re going to die. You’re going to die.

You’re no longer standing, fingernails digging into the now warm, wet strands of the carpet, but you can’t find the strength to drag yourself towards Cas, he’s too far away. He looks terrified. You’re sure you do too.

The knife is still in his hand, tinted red from where he had slashed you.

It’s all so confusing. Not thirty minutes ago you were happy to see him, he came in unexpectedly but that’s fine, you are always happy to see him.

The apartment feels more homey with him around, perched on his chair that only he is allowed to sit in (because it’s the most comfortable one and you are nothing if not the most gentlemanly boyfriend to ever exist, up until you drape yourself in his lap despite his protests), responding to your teasing with snide banter of his own, a smirk that sometimes softens into something more sentimental and genuine which means more to you than his rare words of affection.

Cas always acts like admitting he’s in love is the most embarrassing thing that could happen to him and you find it endearing, especially because he has other ways of telling you he does. Like when he steals your sweaters or laughs at your mediocre jokes or begrudgingly lets you hug him.

When he came to your door, he was upset. You would’ve never turned him away. A fight with Rex, perhaps. Rex is an enigma you can never figure out but for some reason Cas is still attached to him. You were ready to offer comfort and agree with whatever insults he was going to throw at his (ex?) husband, but tonight you didn’t get through to him.

Whatever happened...it was far beyond what you could understand or even begin to fix.

And then Cas got heated. And then the knife came out. And now you are lying on the floor, choking on your own blood.

You are so scared.

You don’t want to die.

You’ve joked about your life being meaningless before and there were times you certainly believed it but now, now you realize how short it has been and how much more there could be if only you can close the gash on your neck and stop inhaling all that blood. Why isn’t Cas here? Why is he staring at you from across the room, not helping, not yelling, just watching you die like he is powerless to stop it?

Why can’t you muster enough strength to yell at him to help?

You try and nothing but an incoherent wet gurgle of Cas’ name comes out. It doesn’t sound like his name at all, perverted with the inevitable. You try again. You can’t feel the tears on your cheeks over the warmth of your blood.

Cas, please. You try to compel him with your thoughts. He is worlds away and yet right there, just across the room. Please. Help me. I don’t want to die. Help me. Call someone. Help me stop the blood. Oh god, it hurts so much.

Your hand opens and closes around nothing.

The room is spinning now.

Your panic increases as you realize you’re approaching the end. Nothing either of you can do about that now. You try to push yourself closer to your boyfriend, wanting to at least feel him there with you before you go. It’s getting hard to see and the only thing you’re more scared of than dying is dying alone.

If you can reach his hand, maybe you’ll stop feeling so afraid. Maybe it’ll hurt less. You just need to reach him. You just have to drag yourself across the room a little further. Cas. Please. Don’t let me die like this.

[martinaprocraatinates]

The story that goes with the drawing I posted

It was an ordinary, quiet day in the school library, most students quietly studying and whispering to each other, though there were some who chose to run the risk of angering Madame Pince and as such were speaking louder than most yet still it was easy to put it off as background noise. It was still quite peaceful even with that.

At least, that was until the double doors of the library were pushed open, slamming against the wall with a loud bang, the librarian immediately went on alert as a perfectly average looking teen, already in the telltale quidditch uniform strode through, looking for someone with a one track mind, managing to avoid her so far as he finally found who he'd been searching for, sneaking up behind him, grabbing his hand. "Knew I'd find you here. I thought you said you were coming to watch. Its about to start. Just thirty minutes we have to get there. Come on, you can't miss my first match as seeker. You know how much I've wanted this. Sunce we were kids," he bounced on his heels as he waited for an answer, fiddling with the loose strands of hair. He tutted as the other got a much too familiar look on his face, causing him t frown, not pout as he could already guess what he was about to say and nearly sat on the table in an effort to make his point clearer, "you promised you'd come to every one of them. You did. ANd you've upheld that promise so far so why's this one different?"

The other didn't seem much phased by the mini outburst, though at least he'd put the book he'd been reading aside, giving him his undivided attention, "haven't you realised we have our OWLs at the end of this year? I know you didn't study much the last two years, as indicated by your report card," it was quietly said but not in a way that went with some negative reason normally.

His face screwed up like he'd smelled something rotten, annoyed as he curled his nose up. "Come on Cas, a few hours isn't going to kill you. You know how long I’ve been wanting this. Ever since we were kids,” while there was an almost petulant tone to his voice it wasn’t on the level of whining just yet.

Castor but his lip, opening his mouth to respond, likely to give another refusal and an excuse, it wasn’t even so much of a bad one, ten OWL subjects wasn’t a very good idea but it was all worth it. His brother got to take only six and still have time to explore his hobbies it was all good. “Pollux, I-“ though he had the feeling he’d be cowed into agreeing anyways, it didn’t hurt to try and go against it at least. But this time he was cut off as his study partner returned, arms laden with a couple heavy looking tones. He pulled out his wand to help her only to be cowed by a fierce glare that was seriously too much for this small incident.

“What’s Polly doing here?” She asked in a tone that was anything but endearing, lips pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed, seemingly annoyed by his mere presence.

“You two know each other? Surprising. Don’t think he’d gone out of his way to get familiar with anyone else in our year, the newly dubbed ‘Polly’ looked between the two, one brow raised in suspicion. Such a little thing shouldn’t be suspicious but the other, he was just too familiar with him to not be.

“Of course. We share ancient runes and arithmancy. He’s the only one that seems to actually understand any of it. Other than me of course,” there was a slight smirk on the tall girl’s face as she pressed her fingers into her own chest, obviously proud while simultaneously putting others down. “Still you haven’t answered my question. I didn’t expect to see you of all people here,” she’d finally freed her hands of the tones, rolling her wrist, they were heavy but she refused to accept help. All par for the course.

“I’m just trying to convince my brother here to pull my brother from studying and now you to came watch me play,” he stood up to his full height, still managing to only just barely reach her shoulder, looking up at her, head angled a bit.

“Fine. I’ll attend,” it was inevitable quite frankly but he thought he’d at least be able to hold out longer. He couldn’t say no to him, it was coming to be an issue. Luckily he was much too nice to use it to his advantage purposefully and anyways, he’d been getting tired and stiff now. Admittedly spending the weekend like this probably wasn’t the best idea. “On one condition,” he stopped the other’s small celebration, a bit of a smile playing in his lips. “We come back here immediately after. I know you’re failing potions so that’s what we’re focusing on. Deal?”

Pollux looked at the hand, lips now pushed out in a bit of a pout, as he glared at the hand. But he hadn’t been lying. This really did mean a lot to him. Just like how the other and his academic achievements meant to him. Wildly different but they’d always seen each other through. He had a toothy grin on his face, taking the hand and shaking it like it was the most serious thing ever, “deal,” a light glow surrounded their hands for a moment. They probably shouldn’t be playing around with a weaker version of the unbreakable vie but it hasn’t backfired for them. Yet.

“Wait, what? Brothers?” She finally spoke up again, looking between the two, squinting a bit. “I always thought you two were cousins. What with the same name and same birthdays. Twins? You two are twins…” really it wasn’t a question at this point. Just a statement. She had an expression of someone who just made the discovery of their lives, looking between the two constantly. Now that she was looking for it the sikilarities were there. Once you ignored the different hair and eye colour. And the texture. And the height, one barely reached her shoulder, the other was a fair bit taller. They both had the same permanently haughty faces once you ignored the gauntness of one. Brothers she could see but twins? It was a struggle to wrap her head around that one. “You two don’t look all that similar. Who’s older?”

“He looks more like mother, I father. It’s as simple as that. What a stupid question, what does it matter? We’re twins,” there was a hint of bitterness in Castor’s tone as he said that, lips pressed so much into a thin line they were almost entirely invisible.

“It definitely matters to you. And to them too I guess,” it seemed to be quite the sour topic between the two, one could almost feel a shift in the air as the topic was brought up. “He’d older. Just by two hours though. You’d think it was more like ten years with the way he acts,” Pollux laughed, more than a little dramatically as he laughed, in an effort to lighten up the suddenly tense atmosphere.

“Someone has to do it,” such a vague and seemingly everyday statement yet it seemed to hold a weight behind it. One that shouldn’t ordinarily be there.

Normally unable to read the room, even Fausta was able to see and feel just how awkward it is between these two, which did probably explain why they weren’t seen together often. “I see Barbary saved me a seat. Good luck you,” she waved and seemingly disappeared, not wanting to spend more time than necessary around them. One was just too much for her. The other… well she wasn’t swure how to feel about him. Maybe she was regretting her decision to go up and offer him the opportunity to study together. But what with the things, mostly rumours she’d heard of his family and what she knew, however little it was, it seemed like a smart decision. And it had been. If she didn’t mind dying of awkwardness.

“You’re such a mess. Honestly. How do you expect to be flying properly if this is covering your face. I swear you’re probably one of the few sportsmen that cares more about having long hair than the ability to see,” and immediately his brother started acting like a mother worried about every little thing, patting down his hair, trying to convince him to let him plait it, and failing miserably. He even went as far as to brush off his robes for him and further use an ironing charm. Honestly, no one would care whether or not his uniform was pressed. Would they even be able to see at that distance? Most likely not.

”I’ll be fine. This is probably like my twentieth match,” he grinned a bit, as annoyed as he was, especially after they started gaining attention and while he loved attention like nothing else, this kind of attention wasn’t the same. He finally got annoyed enough to do something about it and pushed him towards the hufflepuff stands, his twig of a brother nearly stumbling and fell only to recover quickly enough. “Now go! It’s about to start. Don’t forget to cheer for me. Just block out anyone else,” and without a second glance at him he strode on to the field, a grin that from the looks had to be painful on his face, eyes shining brightly as he glanced around at all his teammates, sending Bean, the opposing seeker a wink as he took a moment to make sure the ribbon in his hair was tightly secured before going to the lineup. He was practically vibrating with excitement.

Finally! What he’s wanted since he was five was right at his fingertips. It only took a decade. He had to dig his heels in to make sure he didn’t go off on an early start, so excited he was.

As soon as the whistle blew, he was off on the air and he just had to take a moment to fly around, especially now that he wasn’t entirely focused on protecting the goals. He could just take some time to speed through the air, the sounds of the match fading into the background. Such an exhilarating feeling it was.

But eventually he got serious. All it took was a hint of gold flying by the his ear for him to remember where he was, honestly he was like a magpie. More magpie than wizard.

It took some time, honestly he wasn’t trying that hard, he’d always felt disappointed when the game ended early because of a seeker too good at their job. And it was fun leading Bean on, going like he was about to dive for it, only to pull up and of course his opponent was always just behind. Eventually, though he realised the other had caught sight of it and of course he had to cut her off.

And what a feeling it was! To wrap his hand around the fluttering little charmed object, that feeling cemented in his heart that this was what he was born to do. No ifs ands of butts. Still they ended up losing. And he couldn’t help but wonder, had it been his fault? Maybe he shouldn’t have stretched it on for so long. Oh well, he found he couldn’t bring himself to care.

After s quick shower and change of clothes, he was searching out his brother, pleasantly surprised to see him smiling in that odd way of his. “You did well,” ah his compliments. Always nice to receive.

“Still lost though. Probably my fault that one,” Pollux had the decency to look bashful at least.

“Same change that it wasn’t. You’re always gushing about your teamwork so it isn’t simply your burden to bear alone,” Castor’s smile widened a bit as he wrapped his arm around him, a bit unusual for him considering he normally hated any physical touch of any kind but here they were. “Now back to the library,” he pulled him away from his friends, humming a bit.

“Oh come on! Even after suffering such defeat? You’re an evil man Castor Rigel Boavk,” he hissed, most certainly pouting now.

Even with how often they butted heads and with how rare it was they saw eye to eye, their different paths in life the one thing that would never change no matter how long they lived was that they were brothers. As much as each regretted how much they’d been pulled apart, they could admit that they still had that at least.

[moohnshinescorner]

Morning Star by Kris Jayne (Lone Star Crossed Saga, #3) Publication date: June 15th 2023 Genres: Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Synopsis:

The marriage is fake, but the passion is real. Famous for his last name, devilish Anthony Star-Hunter is the black sheep of the Star clan. He’s an expert at using his tall, dark, and handsome charm to get women into bed—the last remnant of his declining hard-party escapades. But the bucks are about to stop here. His grandfather’s will demands he marry to inherit his fortune. Anthony panics. Even with his bad boy allure, how the hell is he going to find a tolerable bride, like, yesterday? The minute Sarah Pennington spots the tattooed muscles her new stepsister’s ex hides under his Italian suits, she rolls her eyes. Anthony is not for her. And with her father maybe headed to prison for a financial fiasco, she’s had enough bad male behavior. She’s responsible. She’s hard-working. She…can’t stop having naughty dreams about the sexy “celebutant.” At a beach-side wedding, a drunken mishap throws Sarah into Anthony’s bed, and he’s intrigued. Can he convince her to give fake marriage a chance? Can she convince herself to keep her heart out of the deal? Their slow-burn, un-love affair isn’t what either expect, but it might be what both of them need forever.

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61954310-morning-star

Purchase:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3XhTuHn

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/morning-star-kris-jayne/1141678745?ean=2940185730942

iBooks: https://books.apple.com/cz/book/morning-star-a-family-saga-romance/id6443011016

Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/morning-star-69

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=t2V2EAAAQBAJ

MY REVIEW

Wow what a beautiful and meaningful read. I truly enjoyed this story so much. It was sweet, endearing and heartfelt. Anthony and Sarah are so perfect for each other. It was amazing reading about Anthony and watching his character develop slowly throughout the book. His journey was not easy and I could not help feeling sorry for him and his woes.

Anthony's inheritance has an expiration date on it. He has to marry in ninety days or he will lose everything. He had longer but he just can't seem to settle on a suitable woman to become his bride, that is until Sarah walks back into his life 5 years later.

Sarah is so career focused it tends to get into the way of her life. She needs to land a big client to keep her father from going to jail for a crime he did not commit. But the answer to her problems is a person she rather forget.

Can Anthony and Sarah seal the deal? Or will life implode?

These two main characters were amazing people deep down. They are loyal and caring. They are loving and adorable. Their story was a fairytale from the very beginning. It was beautiful and soul touching. I hurt when Anthony hurt. You can't help but become emotionally attached to them. They are so sweet.

This is the first book by Kris Jayne I have read. Even though this is a third installment in the series, it was easily read as a standalone. I am curious to the other stories though. I may have to go back and read them. I highly recommend this romance. It isn't a cliché fake wedding romance. No, this book has real emotions and gusto.

AUTHOR BIO:

Kris Jayne is a devoted writer, reader, and traveler, crafting addictive contemporary romance novels with heat and heart. She spends her days blissfully sweating out the writing process in the Dallas area with her dogs, Otis the Shih Tzu, Rocco the Terrier, and Red the Foxy Mutt.

Her passion for writing is only matched by her passion for the adventures of travel. In 2008, she let a friend talk her into sleeping outside for the first time in her life when she climbed Mount Kilimanjaro.

P.S. If you’re buying her a gift, she has a penchant for single-malt Scotch and scarves.

Author links:

https://twitter.com/kris_jayne

[angelinthefire]

ilovehowyouletmefall Destiel fics

So this is everything I've posted on AO3 since Nov. 5, 2020 (organized by length). I like to think there are a couple of unique contributions to the collective body of fanworks in here. If you haven't read my fic before, check it out, and I hope you find something you like!

my body aches to breathe your breath 839 words, rated E, PWP with feelings

Summary: “I used to think I wanted to possess you,” Cas said, his voice rough and confessional. “Fill your body with my true form, feel my grace in your fingertips, my light pressing against your skin."

Comment: "This is one of my favourite fics that I’ve read in like, a long while. It’s so lush, and hot, and hits the emotional beats sooo well"

Heal me with 3,023 words, rated T, 15x19 fix-it, hurt/comfort

Summary: When he gets the phone call, Dean thinks he’s finally cracked. But it doesn’t matter, because his legs are still carrying him to the crow’s nest, taking the stairs two at a time. And when Dean flings the bunker door open, Cas is there.

Comment: "ok dang I do not even know how you got ALL of this in just 3000 words, like my mind is blown at the sheer craft level. The sensory details that give it a lot of texture, the immediate facts of what's happening then translated into everyone's emotions and actions just being so tender and real. It's just all here."

Godot ain't got nothin' on me and my baby 10,489 words, rated M, MCD-ish, 15x20 fix-it, angst and depression

Summary: Castiel is the new Death. Dean can only see him when he's dying.

Comment: "This is so lovely and feels so right. As someone who's dealt with depression my whole life, the feeling of being stuck and just slightly outside of everything and everyone rang so true."

Status quo ante bellum 11,201 words, rated T, 15x19 fix-it, fluff and angst

Summary: Cas is back from the Empty, human, and convinced that his relationship with Dean is unsalvagable. Can Dean get his shit together in time to prove otherwise?

Comment: "Augh, this was so endearing. Cas stubbornly seeing only what he wants to see, and how restricted he feels by his human form ... Dean's food love language. Dean being frankly adorable. ... Great read <3"

Wandering Through Purgatory 11,216 words, mixed ratings G-E, anthology, purgatory fic, pic-fic

Summary: A collection of ficlets about Dean and Cas in Purgatory from back during the hiatus before season 8 when everyone on tumblr was writing pic fic and tag fic and spinning a fantastic version of Purgatory in our minds.

Comment: "I wasn't even remotely aware of when this was actually happening, BUT I'm glad I get to see these bits and pieces now and then, like a glimpse into the past. Much love❤️"

Full of Grace 11,399 words, rated E, 15x20 fix-it, fluff and angst and smut, trueform!Cas and tentacle sex

Summary: Dean wants to take things further with Cas. He just can’t get out of his own head. OR: Dean feels empty inside. Cas, um… fixes that.

Comment: "Holy fuck. First of all the writing is Unreal. Absolutely beautiful. Second of all this was simultaneously the hottest, most romantic, most genuine thing I've ever read. What the fuck I'm still completely gobsmacked"

Life Skills 26,052 words, rated E, s9 human!Cas, weird boy-bestfriends, fluff and smut and gender

Summary: Cas is human and comes to live in the bunker, and Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human. And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.

Comment: "1: it was excruciatingly funny to see how far dean could take the 3-way (golden rule) without catching on to his own feelings 2: every single woman in this fic had me like "Good For Her" so well done there 3: 👀🔥🔥🔥🤌"

Ignite your bones 67,177 words, rated E, MCD, 15x19 fix-it, angst and grief

Summary: Chuck takes the Winchesters up on their offer in 15x19 and tells Dean to kill Sam. Dean, Cas, and Jack deal with the fallout for their relationships. It gets worse before it gets better.

Comment: "This fic flayed me alive and then put me back together again. Dean's pain throughout is so palpable, Cas's love so unshakeable, the tension between what they want and what they think they know and Cas trying to keep Jack safe and Dean trying to push everyone away and Cas's need to fix everything and Dean's determination to be broken. GOD. Oh and the way they're So Unwell about each other feels so true to their characters. I can't handle it. It's too good. I need to go outside and scream."

All your secret wishes series

I said show me something 7,195 words, rated E, 15x19 fix-it, PWP with feelings, toxic deancas

Summary: Dean didn't think that angels could feel love. But now that he knows he's wrong, he can use that to his advantage.

Comment: "This is so intriguing! You write a perfectly complex and at times disturbing alien Cas - and Dean! Dean, my man, what are you even doing. So very messed up and very Dean, I love it."

Forget your perfect offering 81,785 words, rated E, casgirl thesis

Summary: Cas was resurrected. Dean told Cas that he loves him, that he can have everything he wanted, but Cas has to stay with him. Cas promised that he would. The thing is, he didn’t realize how literal Dean was being. Now, Cas works on rebuilding Heaven with the angels, while he builds a new life with Dean. Neither of those things are as easy as Cas would have liked.

Comment: "the first fic in this series has been one of my all time favs so i was extremely excited for this sequel, and it did NOT disappoint!! u write every character so well and i love how much u focused on heaven and the angels bc i feel like the show never rly gave us closure and wasted a lot of opportunities w heaven/angel plot lines, which u absolutely nailed."

[bluexiao]

#you’re my honeybunch, sugarplum

—what are the endearments that they call you?

CHARACTERS. Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Thoma, Scaramouche, Kazuha, Kaeya, Gorou, Diluc, Childe, Ayato, Albedo, Aether; gn! Reader

THEMES. fluff! domestic. suggestive (and slightly possessive) on scara! mentions of marriage in a very few parts.

NOTES. so this is just an experiment where i write the names in reverse instead of alphabetically. which one do you guys like more? also, all my aether works are going to be abyss!aether in general so yes if i don’t find abyss!aether i’m gonna make abyss!aether. also the song i placed on the title is so cute i literally just saw the real lyrics like earlier hahaha

Writing Commissions || Send a Kofi

“Dearest” is when ZHONGLI soothes you when you’re stressed over a vendor who was scolding him after he came out without a wallet, hand rubbing on your shoulders or wrapping themselves on your waist, trying to usher you away for the fight not to escalate further. But when it does, one look from him is enough for the others to cower away at the intensity they hold despite not knowing his true identity. While “sweetheart” is whenever you two were on bed, relishing each other’s presence and letting the dream world embrace you both. Even if he doesn’t need sleep, you are the one whom he needs—much more than you could’ve ever imagined coming from a divine being such as he.

“It’s time to close your eyes, sweetheart,” he smiles at you lovingly, “I wish you a goodnight, dearest.”

XIAO slips a “(my) angel” whenever he thinks you’re asleep. There are times that you hear it but mostly it’s late at night and you couldn’t wait for him anymore. With a brush of his bare hand over your hair or your cheek, or whenever he was in a moment of being afraid to unconsciously hurt you, he places them above your leg, covered by the blanket where he knows he could not unconsciously cause you harm. Longing, such an unnecessariness for an Adeptus, but it was the very same picture on his eyes, glittering beneath the glow of the moonlight where he knew only he could see these emotions he says he failed to have.

“Go sleep, my angel, I’ll be here,” he brings his hand on top of your skin—bare, ungloved, just as how he is with his feelings, “May your dreams be of peace and the dark shall leave you be.”

VENTI calls you by many endearments. He’s called you “windblume,” “my love,” “my darling,” “my sweet flower,” and a variety of others even if it was just in one sentence. You might even hear him often call you “Hey there, lover!”. However, his favorite is when he calls you “my muse”. There is something rather special about that call—as a bard himself, and also as someone who appreciates you from the inside and out. He thinks you save him just by existing—you are his inspiration, and he wants you to know that each and every time he calls you his muse.

“Have you got any other else to do today, my muse? Care to join me for a trip in Dadaupa Gorge?”

THOMA is rather convinced he’ll marry you in the future. His favorite endearment to call you is “honey.” However, he also thinks that when you two have gotten married, he’ll want to call you “wifey/hubby” just to joke around with you, or tease you whenever he wants to. But what you don’t know is that these are actually what he truly feels on the inside—he wants you not only for now, but if you’d give him the freedom to choose, he’d choose a life of eternity with you on it.

“Honey, can you pass me the salt, please? Yes, this is Dry-Braised Salted Fish. Do you want me to cook anything else?”

Very rarely does SCARAMOUCHE ever call you an endearment. The most he’d call you is “mine,” probably, when he’s feeling extra possessive due to stress or being pushed into the corner. He mutters it in between his kisses or when he nibbles on your skin, trailing his lips where he deems anyone could see just so he could not only prove it to you but to others as well. When he’s feeling confident and teasing, however, he calls you “darling” with a smirk on his face, knowing full well he has caught you off-guard and loving the way you fluster beneath him.

“Hm? You tired, darling? I thought you’d like to take me on top of Starsnatch Cliff?” he smirks, “What? Want me to carry you or something?”

KAZUHA calls you by the things you remind him of. “Dove,” “angel,” “flower,” “sunshine,” or even “butterfly.” It varies, most of the time, for the lips of a poet is something to be wary of—sweet, like a teeth-rotting candy or a chocolate bar you receive in a Trick of Treat. He makes it his mission to make your heart flutter even as seasons pass by, or when you both grow old. He hopes that it would be enough, at least, for you to stay, flying on the winds with him, high above the clouds, soaring like two love birds fated for each other.

“What must be on your mind, dove? Care to share it to me?”

KAEYA calls you “babe” most, if not all the time. It’s been like that probably even before you two had gotten together. It’s something that both he and you had gotten used to that it’s quite difficult to even imagine if he calls you with anything but “babe,” especially in moments that he surely knows he will. Perhaps, this is what he wishes for—consistency, to stay as it is and never falter away. He wanted it not to.

“You coming with, babe?” he muses, “What now? Are you neglecting your own boyfriend-Ow,” he chuckles, “Alright, alright, groceries first before Angel’s Share, as promised.”

“Love” is when GOROU and you were still a couple, but he dreams of calling you “honey” when he settles with you in the future. It’s sort of traditional for the people of Inazuma to call their spouses with “honey,” based on what he’d observed. He’s fairly affectionate, not afraid of showing them to you even if others are present. His tone, his voice, his eyes; how different they were whenever he calls you “love.” He is certain about this—this relationship that is deemed to be everlasting and boundless. “Love” is what he feels for you, forever, and probably always.

“Love, there is no need to worry,” he softly says as he reaches and presses a kiss on your forehead, “I will go back home safe. I promise.”

DILUC calls you “my love,” but every time you were in public—only during the first few months of being with you, he was still hesitant about it. However as time passed on, it slips out of his mouth easier than it was before, even if other people are present around both of you. In times that this occurs, vendors still couldn’t believe that this young bachelor had finally found the person whom he could finally see himself with to have the courage to step a foot forward and be proud of it. No one else could’ve imagined this moment would come, even him. Yet it did, with you.

“Are these all you need, my love? Why do you need all these ingredients?” “For dinner tonight, I see. Must you need more?”

CHILDE refers to you as “baby” or “babe” or “lovely.” It’s a match between the two of you—who gets to fluster the other more, who will falter first into a fit of embarrassment. There was never a true winner for the both of you, you were each other’s strength and weakness, yet he didn’t mind that. He could tease you all you like, but you could do the same to him.

“Hey there, lovely,” he greets you with an embrace from behind leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek as he brought his chin on your shoulder, “What is for dinner today? Do you want me to help?”

“Honey” is when AYATO and you are in the privacy of your home, whereas he could act however he wants without being judged nor talked about by others. “My dear” is when you two were out and about—a very rare instance but he insists for your sake, that he’s not a bad boyfriend to not take you on dates like any lover should. He makes it sound so easy, so smooth; as if his voice was made of finest silk, giving them to you and making your heart skip a beat or two.

“Must you really tempt me away from my work, honey?” he smiles as he pulls you on his lap and lets you encircle your own arms on his neck while his were on your waist, “Perhaps I may take a short break for my dear. What is it that you’d like to do, hm?”

ALBEDO has a knack of whispering “darling” next to your ear and seeing what your reaction would be. He has a small smile on his face and maybe even a release of a soft chuckle, his breath fanning themselves on your skin below your ear before adoringly pressing a chaste kiss on them. Physics is when an unconscious pull brings him to you and Chemistry is when he finds himself amused with whatever you do, even if they’re not what he expected them to be most of the time.

“Busy, darling?” he does it again, his hand carefully placing itself on your shoulder as he lands a kiss on your temple, “Always the hardworker. Can I really not persuade you to look at me for a little while?”

AETHER, at first, refuses to call you with an endearment, in fear of you getting attached to him and you both hurting in the process. He cannot handle falling for you and losing you again. Now, however, he tends to call you “beloved,” never failing to always look you in the eye and communicate his love and care for you. Home was where he and his sister were before, but now, he found another person who could truly understand him no matter who he is, was, or will be. You will stay with him, he knows you will.

“Feeling alright, beloved?” he caresses your cheek, eyes focused on yours, always holding the same care as it did to any other he feels them for, “Tell me what you need and I’ll give them to you. Anything.”

TAGLIST (send an ask to be added~)

@softlybeloved @rim0na @icecappa @sushiyay @scaraslover @beastielevi @cursedraiden @thesatanofpizza @izayanna @stellumi @coco-goat-milk @nonniechan @m3gitsune @thispenguinrocks @chuubear @kiyoobi @catisnerd @ventislatte @weakestpoint @pinkfei-main @aweebstuff @zhongchi14

[water-mellie-seeds]

Bestie rank the wizard siblings from favourite to least favourite and give me a paragraph per blorbo explaining their ranking

This is my lifes project.

1: Crispin. Shocking from tumblr user Crispingender i know./s It is NOT only because i have a crush on him!!!!! Shhhe is also the most interesting to me. Hes s mechanic?? He got so upset about no one celebrating his bday that he ran off to the circus for YEARS. And literally everything he owns is clowncore its so based. He has a clown themed tow truck. He fixed bees bike and said he wouldn't make it weird and clowncore but he lied and made it so fucking clowncore. His voice puts him up in #1 too. I want him so bad.

2: Deckard. My favorite before we knew that much about his brothers,so it's only fair i give him 2nd place. He has heterochromia and can cook. But not bake,and i also can not bake. At all. He has a hard time pronouncing certain words,which endeared him to me from the start bc i do that.

3: Cas. I love her. She's such a good character. She's got the same voice actor as enid mettle,she's wlw(heavily implied to be)she's a programmer ,she can kick ass,she imports her energy drinks from a different island,she will pretend to use the bathroom so her siblings don't talk to her on her day off. She's iconic. She's named after a she-ra character(castaspella) who is ALSO wlw(in spop at least). She's based.

4: Wesley. Puppycat thinks he's so cool and hot and he's right for it. I'd tie him with cas if i could but alas,i have to pick favorites according to this assignment. His voice is VERY nice. He keeps all his fish in the bathroom(SO MANY. I cant find any pictures but So many)and he uses a lure that wont hurt them(special kissing lure) when he fishes them out of the water. There was an extended period of time in one ep where he just wore an apron and boxers. I would do this if society let me,so he's based for it. He went on a date with someone and didn't know it was a date.

5: Howell. He opened a cat cafe but he cant cook. He's vain as hell and it's probably because his name is meant to parody howl pendragon but he's right for that. He knows he's very pretty and his voice is VERY soothing to listen to. Even when hes pissed off. He fired bee for napping but when she came back to eat at their restaurant to help with business (she convinced deckard to leave to culinary school and hes the only one who can cook so...business was Not booming) he was intending not to charge her for the meal. He wants to cook wes' fishies :/ but he's got a good heart i think and did i mention he's gorgeous

6: Tim. He's probably the one i have the least to say about out of them all. Not because i dont like him but because he hasnt had a focal episode. He thought that since Deckard was wearing pants instead of pajamas that he wasnt depressed anymore LFSHCKDHH he's a little silly.

#7: last but not least,Merlin. He's fine i just don't feel super connected to him compared to the sibs higher up on the list. He's got cool glasses,he got cas' rival toast pregnant,(long,very funny story. Tldr: she was living in their walls) went to med school but didn't finish it,is overall quite a funny guy but i have to give him last place. Sorry merlin,you have to work harder to beat tim/lh

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Song of the Sea

Author: Speed

Artist: Artmetica

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Castiel/Dean, mentioned Sam/Jess

Length: 40000

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Medical Torture, Non-Con Experimentation, Cruelty to Animals (Dean is seen as an animal)

Tags: Siren Dean, Doctor Castiel, Strangers to Lovers, Escaping Imprisonment, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Cute Dean, Sweet Castiel

Posting Date: October 5, 2021

Summary: In a world where the merpeople of the ocean are known by humanity, but sirens are thought to be extinct, Dean Winchester is in trouble. On a routine hunt with his brother, he manages to get himself captured by a group of fishermen who sell him to scientists for experimentation. Just when Dean thinks he has no chance of escaping alive, he finds a friend in the kind, blue-eyed doctor named Castiel. As Dean tries to survive in the facility, he finds salvation, safety, and maybe a little more in his new friend. In the frantic rush to break Dean out and get him back to the ocean, is there any chance for the budding attraction between the siren and the doctor to thrive? Or will it be doomed to a watery grave?

Excerpt: He set the bags of clothes down on the bed, noting that Dean was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Castiel pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, holding it out to the merman. “You might want to wear these. I think they’ll protect you better from the sun than a T-shirt, especially in your human form.” Dean nodded, taking the clothes Castiel held out. The doctor waited until he’d closed the bathroom door behind him, then changed into some clothes of his own. The clothes ended up fitting Dean, thankfully. The hoodie was a little large on him, but the sweatpants fit fine. He'd even put them on in the right direction this time. Castiel got him shoes, too, and those were a little big, but good enough. There was something strangely endearing about seeing the merman all wrapped up in a too-big hoodie with ‘I Heart Kansas’ printed across it. He smiled at Castiel and held out his arms, the sleeves of the sweatshirt falling down over his hands. “What do you think?”  “You look... You look good,” Castiel managed. He smiled. “Now all you need to do is... here.” He stepped forward and reached around Dean’s head, pulling at the sweatshirt hood so it came up and around the merman’s head. Dean blinked at the feeling of it coming up over his ears, his cheeks pinking slightly.  “Thanks, Cas,” Dean said quietly. Castiel blinked, realizing that they were only a few inches away now. He took in the pink dusting the merman’s cheekbones, the way the flush highlighted the green of his eyes. Goodness, he was beautiful. Castiel swallowed, realizing he was still holding the edges of Dean’s sweatshirt hood. He quickly released it, face feeling overheated and numb at the same time. Dean ducked his head a little, the pink darkening to red in a matter of seconds.   Clearing his throat, Castiel turned around and grabbed at his bag, having to reach for it several times before he actually got a tight enough grip around it to lift it. “I’m, uh... I’m going to take this to the car now,” he said, standing awkwardly. Dean nodded, not looking at him. Castiel endured the thick, uncomfortable air for only a few more seconds before he broke, hurrying to the door to do exactly what he’d said he was going to do. Damn it.

DCBB 2021 Posting Schedule

[verobatto]

It's Always been You.

I love you

Destiel Meta. 15x18 meta.

Keeping the fire burning in our hearts, i can't believe what we just saw last night, and i have to keep screaming about this historical scene.

I wrote this meta with my friend's huge help @mrsaquaman187 , because we needed to talk more about body language. Because the scene was perfectly played by Jensen and Misha.

And i want to say thank you to my dearest friend @spnsmile because she made amazing gifs for this analysis. Love you girl!

Before start this meta, i want you to read a meta i wrote two years ago, and i want to share it again with you today.

Break the jar and do it again. The slow construction of Destiel Canon

Okay, now, let's start this journey...

Castiel's honesty at his purest form

I will analyze word by word, because this is historical, as I said before. So, let's rewatch the scene together, the scene in which Castiel released himself, and allowed for the first time, to be happy. (I want my angel back 😭).

“I always wondered, ever since I took that that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what...what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want...it's something I know I can't have."

Well, my friends, as I yelled in my Destiel meta you can find here, is canon now that Castiel was wondering what would it be to have Dean not just as a friend, but as a lover, and I'm.... Okay. (Internally screaming).

And damn @weird-dorky-little-deana and her post here in which I screamed again, this is it, my friends. Is perfect. Because is all along what I was suspecting... Remember 14x09, Pamela represented Dean's fem side, Dean's subconscious, so, in conclusion, Pamela was Dean talking to himself and saying :YOU WANT WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE. Is because Dean thought CAS didn't love him back, and Cas saying he can't have Dean is a huge parallel because it shows the way it was constructed. Both men thinking they can't have each other. Is perfect and angsty and so romantic.

"But I think i know...I think I know now. Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it.”

This is such a deep thought and it talks about Castiel's maturity of character. He understood once for all, that loving Dean Winchester, feeling what he feels for him, and expressing that to Dean, is his true happiness. Because...

METATRON: "(...) You draped yourself in the flag of Heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human. Right?"

Dean didn't know it

Dean: “What are you talking about, man?”

Dean's question shows us he didn't know what Cas was trying to say, he didn't know Cas was about to confess his love for him, he didn't know Castiel loves him back the same way Dean loves him.

Cas: “I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken. You're...you're 'Daddy's Blunt Instrument.' And you think hate and anger, that's...that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it.

I just have to put everything in red because, OMG, people, this is Cas in the barn all over again but after 11 years of being with him and truly sees through him, and this is Cas in the golden room:

CASTIEL: What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion.

This time answering himself, this time, healing all the weight and the pain Dean could carry inside. Because Dean deserves to be saved. That's why Cas gave his life again for him.

Even now, with Billie outside saying IT AS ALWAYS BEEN YOU, and naming him like the rebel, Cas rewords all of that, and shows Dean why he is all of that, because he is GOOD.

Oh Lord, okay, everytime I see Cas smiling and saying those words i have to repress my tears, but...

"Since Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!"

No, sister, he was found.

Castiel is rewording each bad comment or mocking angels had done based on his romantic love for Dean, he is saying , yes since I met you in Hell, i was found, you changed me, I fell for you. Damn... Dean go get back this angel because I swear...

But now, i want to share with you my friend reading about their body language on this scene.

@mrsaquaman187 wrote:

"Here is interesting because usually with conversations like these Dean would get upset or strut around then disagree and blame himself for something. BUT he doesn’t do that this time. Which leads me to believe he knew what Cas was going to say... you can see his face stiffen, intense eye contact and he clenches his jaw. Which tells me he is MAKING himself listen. He knows what’s coming and he has made the decision to HEAR it."

@mrsaquaman187 wrote:

Gif 1:

"Here he’s trying to hold it together. He’s swallowing back tears because he wants to see this conversation through to the end."

Gif 2:

"Oh this one is fascinating because he’s not moving. This means he’s no longer trying to be sure of what Cas is saying. He definitely knows what he’s going to say. Also if you look at his eyes, his pupils are dialated. Fun fact: when you’re looking at someone you love, your pupils dialate."

If you are still alive, i just want to point how romantic is this, because he is saying that Dean changed him for good. And he is naming all their family, Sam, Jack, and humanity, the world. Dean. So practically, Cas is saying, Dean showed Cas how to take care of others. Damn...

But also....

ISHIM: The way you let those simians talk to you... Castiel, when did you get so gooey? You know why we're meant to stay away from them humans? Hmm? It's not because we're a danger to them. They're a danger to us. Case in point.

CAS: Well, my friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger.

Castiel rewording again, because he knows what Dean did on him, Dean changed him for good.

I Love You

@mrsaquaman187 wrote:

Gif 1:

"Hmmm this one is a mixture of disappointment and denile...he’s basically thinking “you can’t be leaving me again”. His slow blinking and calm appearance indicates that he’s sort of asking out of disbelief or denial."

Gif 2:

"My poor boy had so much to say! Here you can tell he realizes what Cas was saying...he gets the meaning but can’t get his response out. He starts with the head tilt which signifies endearment and fondness. He swallows hard which represents the nervousness he feels and the sadness he feels. And then you can see his lips twitch and turn into a light smile along with his eyes softening. So he understands that Cas is confessing to loving him. And he understands that Cas has been holding it in and hurting the whole time. Which is why he tilts his head. The hard swallow is because he’s being loved but wants to love back and has no idea how to express that. All he could manage was “don’t do this Cas” which along with the body language equals to “Cas don’t leave me”.

I'm crying again, damn...

Okay Dean is shocked, shocked because he just figured out Cas loves him, Cas had loved him this whole time!! Is a huge, huge revelation to him, because Dean didn't imagine his best friend would feel the same for him! That's why he always thought he couldn't have Castiel the way he wanted to.

"I can see the love inside of you, but is croaked in shame."

Shame because it was his best friend, a pure, beautiful angel, out of his league. But now... This angel is confessing he had been in love with him the whole time! And not just that but he dies after that!

Dean losing again the love of his life after knowing he loved him back, is a new level of shock and despair to him. So Dean's reaction is just accurate and perfect!

And the scene crying alone in silence, not answering Sammy's phone call is SO SO IMPORTANT! He forgot about Chuck, about the world ending, about everything, because he only could think about Cas, and how he just lost him, and how he loves him the way Dean loves him, this whole freaking time.

To Conclude:

This was the most beautiful Destiel scene until now, and i only hope for the second Destiel canon scene, in which Dean will said I LOVE YOU TOO to his angel, closing his ILY journey, and rescuing Castiel. Maybe with the reset button, maybe entering into the Empty. But this is not the end, my friends, is just their starting.

Hugs! Love you all!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @emblue-sparks @magnificent-winged-beast @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @anarchiana @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @destielshipper221b @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @feathered-castiel @bre95611 @zoerayne2426 @justmeand-myinsight @that-one-fandom-chick @proccastinate @studio-hatter @pepevons @poorreputation @mrsaquaman187 @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @dwstiel @thislunarkiss @ladygon @shippsblog @la-random-fangirl @lets-try-this-again-please @mychemicalobsession514 @destiel-shipper-11

@asphodelesauvage @2musiclover2

Buenos Aires November 6th 8:54 PM

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

What Dean Has To Say a destiel fic by alsaurus | rating: T | word count: 3.8k When Cas comes back, he disappears.

He’s supposedly still in the bunker. According to Sam, he doesn’t seem to have left the building at all since he arrived.

Dean wouldn’t know, because Cas is avoiding him.

It’s the only explanation. Why else would it be impossible to find his best friend even though they’re under the same roof 24/7? Not that Dean has really gone looking for him, but still. They haven’t crossed paths once since Cas got back three days ago. This wouldn’t be so weird on its own (yes it would), except Sam sees Cas all the time. So what gives?

Dean knows what gives, but at the same time? He doesn’t really. Cas is obviously reluctant to talk to Dean after what he’d said to trigger his deal with the Empty. He’d said all that under the assumption that he’d never have to face a response. Dean understands. He would definitely feel the same if he were in that position. But Cas? Cas is the bravest, purest, and most sincere person that Dean has ever met. How could someone like that be afraid to talk to someone like Dean?

This isn’t how Dean had expected this to go.

He’d wanted Cas back more than anything he’s ever wanted in his life. He’d never felt joy the way he felt when he saw Cas out of the Empty, back in the bunker where he belonged. Dean knew he needed to be with Cas, that Cas was it for him.

But he’d also kind of assumed that Cas would take the lead, here. Cas, who was so straightforward and free of human insecurities, would be the one to bring it up - if only just to assure Dean that nothing had to change. Then Dean would have the perfect opening to tell him he felt the same. If words failed him in that moment, Dean was also prepared to let his body do some of the talking.

Dean had not imagined that Cas would just straight-up hide from him for days on end. It’s frustrating, but also a little endearing.

Okay, it’s a lot endearing. Very endearing. Some might even say it’s adorable. Not Dean, though. Sure, Cas is so flustered at the idea of talking to Dean about his feelings that he literally won’t show his stupid angel face - so what? What’s even cute about that?

Anyway.

Dean is starting to get antsy about the whole thing. He’s not exactly anxious, but he’s so amped up that his body interprets it as anxiety. He had to cut down on the caffeine because he’d started to feel like he was vibrating out of his skin. For someone Dean never sees, Cas sure does occupy a whole lot of space in Dean’s head most of the time. He finds it difficult to really focus on anything else, so he’s watched a LOT of movies the past few days - just zoning out with only half his attention on the screen.

“Why are you sitting here in the dark by yourself?” Sam asks from the doorway, making Dean jolt in surprise.

Dean hadn’t realized he’d turned the TV off after Dirty Dancing had ended. He really is just sitting in the Dean Cave, in the dark, by himself. Awesome.

“What‘s it to you? And who am I supposed to be sitting with, anyway? Not like Cas wants anything to do with me,” Dean grumbles. Laying it on just a little thick, since he knows better than Sam why Cas isn’t here.

“What is up with you two, anyway?” Sam asks, and it’s obvious that he’s been waiting for the opportunity to do so. He flips the light switch and comes to sit in the other chair. He’s perched on the edge of it, leaning towards Dean as if to signify how very important he finds this conversation. How he’s not going to let Dean out of it.

Fine.

“Cas is just being a baby. He thinks he can just confess his undying love for me and peace out, and then once I rescue his ass he can just avoid dealing with the whole thing,” Dean starts. Then he finds he doesn’t want to stop, despite Sam’s eyes going wide in shock. “Seriously, man, I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Like how long am I supposed to wait? We should have spent these whole three days in bed doing all kinds of freaky shit - but look at me, Sam! I’m sitting alone in the dark without even realizing it because the dude lives rent free in my freakin’ head!”

“Umm,” Sam says.

“I get that he’s nervous, but so am I! I mean, he’s the one whose cards are already on the table. I’m the one who has shit to say! I don’t even know if I’ll be able to say it, but I’ll never find out if I never even see the guy!”

“Okay, hold on. Just a minute. You’re saying that Cas told you...?”

“Yeah.”

“That he - “

“Yep.”

“And you want to say it back.”

“Sure. If you wanna call it that.”

“Come on, Dean.”

“I mean yeah, Sam, what do you want me to say? I have no idea how it’ll go down. I still haven’t seen him since we got him back.”

Sam starts to smile, and Dean doesn’t like the look of that.

“So what, he’s avoiding you because he’s scared of what you’ll say?” Sam asks.

Dean shrugs.

“I guess. Why else would he avoid me and not you?”

Sam’s smile grows as he sits back in the chair, settling in. He watches Dean for a few moments, eyes twinkling like he’s about to say something really stupid. Why did Dean think that opening up about this would be a good idea?

“That’s actually kind of cute,” Sam says.

Dean rolls his eyes so hard he has to throw his head against the back of the chair.

“Don’t you start with that!” Dean groans. “It’s not cute, it’s annoying. It’s cowardice, is what it is!”

“Have you tried to find him?” Sam asks. The smirk on his face tells Dean he knows the answer but is asking just to be a little bitch.

“Shut up. Why does it have to be me, huh? Why do I have to be the one to bring it up?”

“I didn’t say you had to bring anything up. I just mean have you tried to talk to him at ALL? You say you haven’t seen him, but have you looked for him?”

Dean has not. But -

“I already looked for him, in the Empty! And I pulled him out. It was a whole thing! I think the ball’s in his court now.”

“Dean, think about it. You have a lot more experience with this kind of thing than he does,” Sam reasons.

It’s true. But at the same time -

“I have never experienced anything like this. Ever. Especially not with a dude,” Dean says. He feels out of his element, too. That’s why Cas was supposed to take charge! (Dean knows that doesn’t make sense, and he doesn’t care).

The smile on Sam’s face turns gentler, any trace of teasing disappearing.

“I’m surprised you’re even telling me all this,” Sam says.

“Sam, come on,” Dean protests, because he really doesn’t want to get into it.

“No, really! In the past you’ve been… very adamant about being straight.” Too adamant, is what Sam means. He’s not wrong.

“What’s your point?” Dean asks.

“I’m just glad this is happening, I guess.”

Dean can’t help but melt a little at that sentiment. Inwardly. On the outside, he’s still trying to act put out, but the longer he sits there trying not to confide in Sam, the stronger the pull to do so becomes. Like being caught in a wave, Dean finally lets it pour through him.

“It’s Cas. You know? It’s Cas. I spent too long worrying about all that. I’ve lost him too many times, Sam. I can’t really care about all that stuff anymore. So I just want him to know, you know? I don’t want my crap to keep Cas from getting what he wants. He deserves to get everything he wants. He can have it. I want him to have it. And I want him to know that.” Dean stops. Takes a deep breath, because that was a lot. Then he wraps it up. “And that means you’re gonna have to know at some point anyway, so. There you go.”

Sam looks shocked again, but in a totally different way that Dean doesn’t recognize at all. Which makes sense, considering this is the first time Dean’s ever admitted to having gay feelings for an angel of the Lord. It’s an unusual situation.

“That’s amazing, Dean. Seriously. I’m really, really happy for you,” Sam finally says.

Dean can tell he means it. He’s actually not sure he’s ever seen Sam so sincerely pleased. But Dean frowns at that last sentence.

“I don’t know what you have to be happy about just yet. Dude won’t even talk to me.”

“You said yourself that you haven’t even tried!”

“Yeah but I can take a hint, man. He doesn’t want to see me. Otherwise he’d have seen me.”

And it boils down to that, Dean realizes. Because while he understands that Cas is reluctant because he’s afraid, Dean is also hurt. It’s irrational, but he wants Cas’ love for him to be stronger than that fear. He aches for Cas every moment of every day and every night. He’s barely functioning because he feels like his entire existence is on pause - he hadn’t expected to be in this prolonged state of limbo. He’d been ready for Cas. But it turns out he’d been ready for a different Cas, one he’d thought up in his head - because the real Cas, the Cas he loves, is too afraid to face him and Dean has no idea how long that’ll last. He has no idea when or even if Cas will come to him. Every moment that passes could be the moment before Cas finally talks to him. It’s agony. It’s wonderful.

But he meant it when he said that Cas deserves everything he wants. So why should Cas have to seek it out, when Dean could just give it to him?

“I need to find him, huh,” Dean says, and it’s not a question.

“Yeah, man. You should do that,” Sam agrees. There isn’t an ounce of admonishment in his voice. He’s just supporting Dean, and for once, Dean is grateful.

“Thanks, Sammy,” he says,

Time to find the angel.

concluded in chapter 2. read the rest on ao3.

[occult-castiel]

The Same Page

This is my @destielsecretsanta2020 gift for @eclypseaf!!! The request was open, but bonus points for Miracle being present. So I wrote some post empty rescue fic!

This one honestly gave me a really hard time and I have no idea why. I hope you like it and have has an awesome christmas!

[Ao3 Link]

The portal spits them out in the dungeon.

Dean stumbles out first, a half step ahead of Cas. Human, malleable, and very much alive with one of the little dude's arms draped over Dean's shoulder.

Cas stumbles forward. Dean shoots an arm out in front of him, places a hand firmly against his chest. He maneuvers his other arms under his trenchcoat, grips his side firm.

His skins almost cool to the touch — much too cold to be safe. Not for a human, especially a brand new one.

And what if he's sick? Or gets sick and can't get better? Without his grace, there's a whole new set of worries. A bad flu that gets worse until he's gone, a hunt going wrong, fucking cancer. Heart disease kills pretty much everyone, doesn't it?

He takes a deep breath and focuses on the gentle thud of Cas' heart against his palm.

The last eight months haven't been easy. Not between the alcohol Sam eventually cut him off from, and the hunts getting sparse, and Jack being terrifying and gone until he wasn't.

Cas lulls his head to the side. His inky heart sticks to his forehead, and his blueberry-sweet eyes are unfocused but still manage to catch Dean's.

It's achingly familiar, and he smiles easy. "Hey there, sunshine."

Cas pinches his brows together as his head swims to stay upright. He slurs through some half-baked, nonsense question about coral reef bleaching, and Dean's so relieved he laughs.

Cas smiles at the sound, dazed and feather-light, but the joy is unmistakable.

It's the best thing Dean's ever seen. Fuck, he missed him. Missed him so much he didn't know what to do with himself.

Cas winces — what little help he was giving Dean in holding him up falls. He makes up the difference quick. Weak fingers curl around Dean's wrist.

"Sorry —"

"S'okay. Gonna —" he swallows hard. Tries to shove away the distinct pin-prick in his tear ducts that always means he needs to man the hell up. "Gonna get you to a bed, okay?"

Cas grunts, a pitiful noise that's mostly air and entirely feeble. "Tired."

"Rest then. It ain't far. I gotcha, buddy."

When he nods, his hair brushes Dean's neck.

It's not well thought out. The lack of work and overload of carbs haven't done Dean's muscles any favors. His joints creak and protest every step, but his room isn't far, and he'd be damned before he let's Cas feel like he has to do anything alone this time.

Miracle hops off the bed the moment the door opens.

Dean lays Cas on top of the bunched up blanket. Once he's down, Dean slowly works the trencoast and suit jacket off, his hands careful as they trail across the thin cotton of his shirt.

Cas shivers, and Dean wrestles to tug the blanket out from under him, Miracle nuzzling the side of his leg the whole time.

She's probably hungry. Or just wants attention. He hasn't exactly been available the last couple weeks, too busy with his nose in piles of research. But it all payed off.

Cas grimaces in his sleep, and it twists the cords in Dean's chest. He reaches his hand out and ghosts his fingers across the sweat-stained hair stuck to his skin, gently pushing it to the side.

He'd said it once, not more than a month ago, in the darkness of his room, Miracle tucked as close as he could get her.

He said he loved me, and I — I didn't say it back. But I do. God I do.

Dean trails his hand from his forehead to the flushed pillow of his cheeks. The other knuckles roughly at his eyes and comes back wet.

He has no god damn idea what he wouldve done without Miracle to talk to. Cause he could never get it out to Sam. Not those last moments. Not what Cas really means to him. Always too close to an edge of something larger than any apocalypse they've ever dealt with.

He traces down low enough to brush across Cas' wrist, the pained look still on his face.

Dean swallows, his heart hammers hard in his throat. Timid even though the guy is unconscious, Dean grabs his hand.

His mind blanks. Turns to complete static — a jumble of half-formed thoughts about every reason he ever told himself not to.

He's an angel. The worlds ending. Always ending. He doesn't feel that way. Can't, the equipment for it's not there. It's why he leaves, isn't it? And what the fuck could ever hope to start when it's all always falling apart? When they could fall apart.

Everyone leaves.

A flash of cold prickles down his back, and he tries to takes a deep breath. It goes down ragged. There was something he read once, about picking out a sense.

Cas' breath, slow and steady. The clink of Mircale's claws on the floor. A muted buzz from the florescent lights in the hall.

He breaths again, a little easier. His fingers curls into Cas' palm, and his finger twitch against Dean in response. The dent in his brows relax, his jaw goes slack.

"S'okay Cas." He squeezes. "Just... be okay."

When his phone rings, dumped and forgotten on the other side of the room, he isn't quite sure how to let go. Like the ligaments in his hand have cemented in place, forgotten the muscle memory to make the movements happen.

When the second call comes through, Cas mumbles something. Dean's shoulder slack, and he pulls his hands back, clammy and with a slight tremor.

It's Sam. There's a small tug of guilt — he should've called him the moment he put Cas down. He knows he would've been worried sick if Sam was the one that had to go.

Sam's relieved too, promises to buy stuff for dinner on his way back from where Dean went in the Empty about fifty miles out. And he must hear something in his voice, because he stresses to go watch a movie or something and let Cas sleep it off.

Of course he's right. They knew Cas would be out cold. But leaving the room is still hard, and he lingers in the doorway until he gets a good look at Miracle's mess of tangled fur.

He hasn't brushed her hair, since that's practically what the fur is, in weeks.

"C'mon girl."

He grabs the brush from the bedside table, casts on last look at Cas, and takes Miracle to the TV room.

She hops on the couch next to him, tail thumping with excitement.

"You wanna get pretty to meet Cas later?"

She nuzzles his hand, sticks her nose against the brush, and a little bit of the stress from today lightens up.

He flips on some netflix show about baking food, and talks to Miracle as he starts in on her snout.

It's ritualistic to touch on whatevers going on with her, at this point.

As her fur smooths, he tells her about the Empty. Its piss-poor lighting, the mind boggling way directions work, how it has this awful burnt-licorice and gasoline stench clung to the nothingness of its everything.

It kinda makes his head hurt.

Almost two full episodes in, he has all her fur neat and tidy, and his little monologue has circled back to Cas. She'd know a lot about him if she could talk.

"It's hard to believe he's really back. And — and maybe it'll be good. We could, I dunno, get you a yard?" He nods, smiles. "Yeah, I bet your spoiled ass would like that. The bunker ain't a place for pets."

Miracle leaps from the couch, and someone clears their throat from the door.

Cas stands in the doorway, hunched in on himself. Dark strands of hair twist up in random directions, and the casual clothes Dean left him fit snugly.

He looks... comfortable. Like he slipped into humanity ages ago, not this afternoon.

"Cas."

He tilts his lips up, tight and sheepish. "I see you have a dog now."

"Yeah. Miracle. She uh — she helped me." He motions vaguely to his head. "Might not be batting a hundred up here if not for her."

Cas glances down at her, and the tense smile softens. "I'm very grateful then."

Almost reverent, he scratches the side of her ear.

Dean shakes his head. Blinks. Two things he never thought he'd see side by side mixed with the insanity of the day make none of this seem real.

Deep breath.

"She can — she can be there for you too," Dean says. "If you need it. Dogs are great listeners. Even the Madonna types like this one."

Cas gives a contemplative hum. "They are both blonde."

He puffs a breath of air. It's easy to forget Cas actually knows what he's talking about now, sometimes. Even if he does still miss the point by a mile.

"It was your turn."

Cas raises an eyebrow.

"To, uh, pick a movie." He motions to the seat next to him. "If you want."

Cas runs his bottom lip between his teeth and doesn't look at Dean. Doesn't say anything either. Just nods, walks over, and sinks into the couch.

It's a respectable distance. Close enough Dean would be able to sense him, far enough away they won't touch.

Miracle curls up on the other side of Cas, head flopped on his lap, right next to his balled up hands.

"Is it over?" His voice is small.

Dean doesn't have to ask. "Chuck isn't aproblem anymore." Cas sighs, slinks down bonelessly into the cushions. "We figured it out, took his powers. Jack's fixing up Heaven with it. Says he's gunna do that, find a way to put Amara back together, and then come home."

"Good. I don't think I'm up to fighting standards." He rolls his head to the side. They're close enough Dean can make out each muscle in his neck when he swallows. "You didn't have to save me, Dean. I'd — made peace with that fate."

It's bullshit. It's bullshit and Cas has to know it. He almost tells him a much, but if he can't have that talk now, then he never will.

He licks his lips. It doesn't help the dryness.

"Did you mean it?"

It's a dumb question, but one he needs answered.

Cas doesn't miss a beat. "That and more." The serenity in his words is endearing as it is cutting when he adds, "But we don't have to address it. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

It's Dean's turn to melt with relief. "Good — that's good."

Cas winces. "I understand if you'd like some space —"

He starts to stand up, and panic seizes Dean's chest like a vice grip. He grabs his wrist and Cas freezes.

"No! God no. Cas, it — it wasn't supposed to happen like that."

He looks confused, before some amount of understanding smoothes out some of the worried lines in his face. His eyes flick down to Dean's mouth for an instant. "How was it supposed to happen, then?"

"I thought, maybe on a hunt? Or — I don't know. Just... " some place I could say it back.

Its not good enough, saying it without saying it. Cas gave a speech. He saved Dean's life, saved the god damn world. All without knowing.

He shakes his head. Starts again. He had enough practice between thoughts he couldn't shove away and late night pet-therapy. "I thought you knew. Hell, I've been scared everyone knows. And if they did, you did too, right?"

"Subtly isn't always my strongest suit."

He laughs, and it's almost on the wrong side of sane. "Don't I know it."

He can do direct.

Slow enough that Cas has time to pull back, he runs his hand up his arm, cradles it against the back of Cas' neck. He leans across the small distance and kisses him.

It's clumsy and unsure, and Cas places a skittish hand on Dean's side like he's not sure what he's allowed to have even now, but their lips mesh together in a way that feels better than anything he can remember.

When they part, he's not sure either one of them are breathing. And he can't look at Cas, not when he says it. Not yet. So he presses their foreheads together, keeps his eyes fully lidded.

"I don't know how you could think you aren't worth saving. You — you're it for me."

"Dean —"

He shakes his head, and the tips of their noses brush. "I love you more than I know what to do with. You know that right?"

Bewildered, Cas says, "I didn't."

"Yean, well. Now you do."

He scoots back in place, flushed firm against the cushion. Their hands tangle together, and their knees are touching, and it's too much and not enough. But mostly not enough. Dean dares a glance over. Cas is staring at their hands, a pleased smile on his face.

And they're on the same page.

"I think you said something about a yard when I walked in?"

Instead of answering he says, "We should retire. I'm too old for this shit."

"Entirely?"

Dean shrugs. "A hunt here and there wouldn't hurt I guess."

"We'll talk about it later." He reaches over him, grabs the remote. "I think you said it was my turn?"

Dean grins, full and toothy. "Yeah, just no more romcoms, dude. I can only take so many."

Cas nods, curt and serious. "Of course."

He does anyway, and it's the best shitty movie Dean's ever seen.