#Carter in the Cult

[nny11writes]

Accidental Six Sentence Sunday because I made myself sad so now you get to suffer with me

CW: Suicidal Ideation CW: Suicide note

Catra, as per usual, is not having a great time. This is also a, uh, just a-HEM just a little tiny bit longer than 6 sentences. Don't worry about it don't worry about it don't worry about it, this is fine! :) I will find the perfect place for this :)

This has nothing to do with Carter in the Cult. This sentence is designed to torture one or two of you specifically.

Don't worry about it :)

My dedication to self destruction should be applauded. 

None of the rest of you have found a way to kill me yet, but at the rate I’m going I’ve found it for you. So, you’re welcome! I’ll do the hard work and the dirty work, and you can stand there to shake your head sadly and say shit like:

“She’s in a better place now.”

“At least she isn’t suffering anymore.”

“I knew she was unwell, but…”

“It’s actually a relief to not have to worry about her anymore.”

And you’ll post your sorry online brownie point stories about me and the times you tried to help me, but gosh I was just so fucking far gone if only you could’ve done more. You’ll end it telling the people you actually care about “if you are ever feeling this way please reach out to me!” and you’ll post the number to a hotline that will call the cops on any poor fucker who calls it. 

And you’ll feel better. You will feel better.

That’s what it’s all about right? I’m a nuisance, a pest, a nightmare. You can’t stand me at my best or worst, you think I’m a bitch, you think I’m scum. You tell your friends to avoid me because “oh that Catra is a bad one, just likes drama”. Just likes drama, your judgment from on high where you push back and sometimes push first but sure I love the “drama” of it all. Or maybe your friends just said that for you, and you let them puppet you about; afraid to speak up.

Well, it doesn’t matter much I suppose.

When I’m gone you’ll feel bad, but not in a way that will change you. Just enough to want to get rid of it as quickly as you got rid of me, so you make your post and have an outpouring of support from well wishers and people who wished they could’ve seen the signs.

I mean, I made each sign with sweat and tears and blood, I bent the glass tubes carefully and turned them on in neon red and green.

You saw the signs.

You just hoped they wouldn’t mean what you feared they could, and the worst part is I don’t know if you feared it because you actually cared about me or if you feared the cleanup and guilt you knew would come. Always have to make things right after all, always have to clean up my messes. If you can’t control me, you want to control the aftermath and the first step of that is to make it all about you, right?

Well don’t worry about it. It’s not your problem. I’m absolving you of that guilt, this wasn’t your fault.

I made my mistakes, and now I have to live with them, right?

As if I haven’t spent my whole life living with this. Struggling against it. Pushing the weight up for moments at a time to gasp in air before it crushed me again. (Do you remember when you used to hold me and promise I didn’t deserve that kind of misery? I do. I miss the you that believed in me, but I guess that’s my fault too.) I’ve lived with it and like everything else in my life, it just isn’t worth it. Nothing is worth it anymore,.not since you   

Listen to your friends now. They’re better than me, smarter than me, kinder than me. They never liked me and they might’ve been on to something. When they tell you that it’s not your fault, it’s true. When they tell you I was unstable, it’s true. When they tell you this was inevitable, well, I think that’s true too.

Third try’s the charm right?

…

Well. Wish me luck, and do me a favor- I know I don’t deserve one, but do me one last favor.

When the mortuary asks who will pick up my remains? Leave them there. They cremate the unclaimed and I can sit in a dusty box in the basement, and when enough time passes maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll throw me away with the rest of the trash. Don’t keep me on your desk to mourn, I don’t want you to cry over me. 

I want me gone. You should too.

So do me a favor and don’t claim me. Choose yourself for fucking once.

Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

[allwhiterain]

Brad Pitt and Helena Bonham Carter as Tyler Durden and Marla Singer in Fight Club (1999)

[deadpresidents]

Just think what this deference to the leader of this personality cult will look like a few weeks from now once Trump has comfortably taken control of every aspect of the government backed by the trusty safety net of Supreme Court-validated Presidential Immunity.

Congratulations, America.

[fightclublog]

Fight Club (1999) Movie Stills

[culthermag]

Lil’ Wayne photographed by Sarah A. Friedman during a Tha Carter Ill recording sessions, for Vibe Magazine’s August issue. [ 2007 ] — [ x ]

[vanalex]

Which one to watch today ... 🖤❤️

[forgettablebrat]

Fight club (1999)

[michaelpaul7]

https://www.instagram.com/share/p/BBr4SfV0yp

[theothermorganh]

The real reason Webber is in my cult.

edit: ignore the two "already" I am a dumbass

[nando161mando]

No lies detected

[catcultcafe]

I need to hear what all characters would dress up as for Halloween!!!

Ignore how weird Green looks for a second. And how late this is.... Except it's not late because it's always spooky time.

Vent under cut

Real talk I've been really over whelmed recently with trying to balance everything in my life. School, posting, writing, and making my games it's all too much, the way I'm currently handling everything... I'm going to try slowing things down. I can only work on a daily or weekly schedule. So since anytime I try to post daily I slowly die, I'm going to try posting 1 thing weekly on any of my accounts. That may not feel like a lot and I may occasionally post an extra every now and then. Tbh the art isn't the block in posting. It's scanning the art and actually posting it. It makes me incredibly anxious and it takes a whole different load of dopamine to do and I only have so much a day. I apologize but this does mean that posting specifically here will be irregular since it will be spread out between my accounts based on what I've made and what I feel like. Have a lovely day <3

[blissfulwoes]

[askchuckandtiff]

Chucky should fr let glen and Glenda do his makeup 😊

"absolutely not."

[houseofbrat]

I've notice a lot of people seem to not know much about members of the BRF attending funerals for foreign heads of state or US history.

Tends to be a problem when you can't get your facts right.

The very obvious problem with this list is that the 31st president, Herbert Hoover, died on 20 October 1964. He lied in state in the Capitol Rotunda from 23-25 October 1964 with a state funeral.

Only three were attended by a member of the BRF, and that was Prince Charles, who attended Eisenhower, Reagan, and Bush's funerals. Only 3/9 in all other cases a message of condolence was sent.

WRONG.

Charles attended at least three while he was The Prince of Wales. The other funerals were attended by none other than the BRF's legendary BAMF.

Prince Philip.

The man completed 22,219 solo engagements, which included attending funerals of foreign heads of state such as John F. Kennedy. Philip interacted with the young John Jr. while attending his funeral.

On the issue of Prince William. Jimmy Carter served as the 39th President of the United States from January 20, 1977, to January 20, 1981. There is no public record of Prince William ever meeting Jimmy Carter. Carter left the presidency in 1981, when Prince William was not yet born (he was born on June 21, 1982).

SO FUCKING WHAT?!

It's literally William's JOB to attend funerals for foreign heads of state, and here is @ladykinrannoch making excuses for why William doesn't need to go.

Philip would have gone because the man was all about duty, but William can't go because Jimmy was president before William was born? Do you even think about these excuses before you put them in writing?

Philip was in the British Pacific Fleet at the end of WWII and present in Tokyo Bay when Japan surrendered.

Guess whose funeral Philip attended?

Emperor Hirohito/Shōwa.

Most Britons believe Queen Elizabeth's husband, Prince Philip, should not attend the funeral of Japan's Emperor Hirohito, according to a poll published in the Sunday Express newspaper. The survey, in an early edition of the paper, said 57.2 percent of those questioned were against the prince attending the funeral ceremonies in Tokyo on February 24.The announcement that Prince Philip will attend has angered war veterans. They said it was an insult to British and Australian servicemen who suffered as Japanese prisoners during World War II.

It was controversial for Philip to attend, but attend he did!

But William shouldn't be expected to go to a state funeral because he didn't know Jimmy personally? Or because it's happening on Kate's birthday?

These are pathetic excuses.

We ALL know Philip and Charles would have gone.

[fightclublog]

CHOOSE YOUR PLAYER

[areyou-talkin-to-me]

Fight Club

At first i didn't get it. Then i got it.

🔗 IMDB