#Car Dealerships By Me

[autism-swagger]

"Misty is the scariest Yellowjacket!" "No it's Taissa!"

Are you kidding me. It's so obviously Shauna. Shauna is so fucking viscerally terrifying it's not even funny. If I saw her walking down the street I'd turn and run the other direction. Except then her fuckin predator drive would get triggered and she'd start chasing me down.

[plumbtales]

Take the first step towards the car of your dreams! Whatever fine automobile AA provides you with - you will always want to be the designated driver.

[andorshitdaily]

It's not just Monday. It's not just Mon Monday.

IT'S MEGA. MON. MONDAY.

Celebrate accordingly (submit your own best Mon Monday Memes)

[melmedarda]

Modern au car salesman Jayce is great at selling cars because he's a car fanatic. He juggles between the same three suits everyday. When selling cars, he explains to customers the inside mechanics of the vehicle, the specs of the engine, and how they work together as well as how to upkeep. For some he can recite the entire user manual. The women buy what he sells because he sounds like he knows what he's talking about and also, he's very pretty. The men buy the car because they want him to shut up. No one really cares about listening to his spiel on cars and their intricacies. He doesn't have a driver's license. His strange obsession with cars stems from when his father died in a car accident, which isn't healthy but he makes it work (hence a job as a car salesman). He doesn't drive a car himself, but takes the train to work. He lives with his mother. He tries dating, and is really good at getting laid, but the relationships don't stick. No one wants to listen to him talk about cars on every single date. His last date told him that if he liked cars so much, maybe he should date one. And then Jayce deadpanned and said that's not possible. His date told him to go to therapy and then blocked him. Jayce has exactly two friends. One is Caitlyn, a TSA agent who has a singular love of planes and an obsession with the Alaska triangle. Her parents bought her a tubroprop for her birthday, because she wanted to become a pilot, but she's afraid of heights so she hasn't learned to fly. His second friend is Viktor, a CNA who moonlights as theoretical physicist and talks in uber scientific terms no one can really understand. He drives an electric car Jayce sold him. They all get along like a house on fire. To hear the three of them have a conversation would confound even the most socially adept individuals.

[generallyunskilled]

And if you’d like, please reblog your answer and state in tags if you have/had any conditions/neurodivergence that affected language development. And your first word if you know what it was. I’m curious about the language development of tumblr users.

[baileyboo2016]

It is fucking

6 am

i do not want to be awake rn

spare me

[betchiwilleatyou]

no one can stop me from calling the 41 year old woman my precious little pookie pie

[mossysatyr]

I got some Sanrio playing cards for $2 with their own little tin so when I beat these old men at blackjack and take their money it's even harder on them

[causenessus]

in case anyone else saw the seizure I had in the tags of eggy's new smau WHICH PLEASE GO READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T PLS PLS PLS 🙏 my car did survive do not fret

[hystericfae]

Coming to the crippling realization that I don't treat any of my possessions like they're sacred. Kinda don't care what happens. Kinda just want something that works........don't really mind how or why it does.....just need...semi functional thing to get by.........

[ironmansbay]

my thoughts on criston/alicent/larys as “the toxic polycule that nearly toppled a dynasty” are very disorganized rn BUT. essentially. they are this to me:

(basic context for who these people are and wtf is happening here in alt)

[ponycycle]

I have gotten myself into a situation

[altruistic-meme]

help someone please make me be an adult cus i really just don't want to.

[gender-trash]

dmv put a little warning box on my vehicle registration notice (for my 1999 explorer) that's like "there's a recall on your vehicle!" so i go to the nhtsa website to check what the recall is

it's from 2005 and it's like "sometimes a particular switch catches on fire. this can happen when the car is parked with the engine off"

on the one hand, worrying, but on the other hand i think if it was going to catch on fire it probably would have done it already

[nedsseveredhead]

My fake email job fits are just immaculate im sorry