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incorrectlumityquotes · 4 years ago

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Why Amity fell for Luz: A Theory

Watching all the episodes of The Owl House and reviewing them brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings that I maybe forgot about. We all ship things and sometimes we do it for fun; sometimes for deeper reasons. I just started lumity because it reminded me of Diana & Akko from Little Witch Academia. I loved that show so much that I wanted more, and I thought it would be cool if Luz & Amity did something similar. I had no idea that it was going to go beyond that, so DAMN. To quote a talking science wolf, “For years we ask how, but we should ask why.” I mean, we saw how. But why? Well I can take a guess.

If we’re are going to start anywhere it’s going to be with the girl in question, Amity Blight.

As far as I know as of this typing, Amity Blight is a witchling from The Boiling Isles. She lives in Bonesboro at The Blight Manor estate with her parents and her siblings. She attends Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Good for her.

Amity has an ambitious and competitive personality. She’s always striving to be better and be at the top of whatever she is doing. When she’s introduced in I Was a Teenage Abomination, she’s showing having great pride in being the top student in her abomination class. In Adventures in the Elements, she goes to The Knee in hopes of training to beat her siblings’ high score on the placement exam.

Amity also has a bit of a temper and gets annoyed easily. In I Was a Teenage Abomination, she sics her abominations on Willow and Luz just because she wasn’t named top student that day. In Enchanting Grom Fright, Amity snapped at the person she bumped into before realizing it was Luz. And later in the same episode, Amity beat up Hooty when he decided to get too close.

But she does have a soft sensitive side. She keeps a diary in her secret room in the library and even reads to kids in her free time. Amity also has a strong sense of integrity. She despises cheating (and cheaters) and feels guilt when she’s forced to break ties with Willow.

So why did someone like this fall for Luz of all people? (see above image)

Enter what I call my Shipping Theory of Compliments

The Shipping Theory of Compliments is that two characters would be shipped and sometimes canonically enter a romantic relationship based on their personalities complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

People like to use the image of a missing puzzle piece, but I don’t like that comparison because I think it’s a little inaccurate and I don’t like puzzles. Think of it more like the two pieces of the yin and yang coming together and then growing the circles of the opposite colors in them.

Something like that.

And it’s compliments, not opposites. When you think compliments, think more Star and Marco from Star vs the Forces of Evil. Star wants to go on a magical adventure. Marco also wants to go on a magic adventure. The difference is that Star goes in recklessly while Marco wants to plan it out a bit. They still have their adventure as oppose to Star’s opposite who wouldn’t want to go on a magical adventure. That sort of thing.

So how do Luz and Amity compliment each other?

Let’s start with that they have in common. Obvious stuff aside, they’re both training to become the best witches they can be. The difference comes that Luz is a human who has to learn magic via glyphs that she finds and Amity learns magic the “proper” way on The Boiling Isles.

Luz and Amity are also both fans of The Good Witch Azura book series. Difference is that Luz is more open about her fandom while Amity tries to keep it a secret. Also petty thing but they’re both fan artists too, but I think Luz might be a better than Amity. But hey, her crosshatching is improving.

Luz and Amity are also (at the start of the series) both lonely people. Luz’s mom says that she doesn’t have any friends, and Amity doesn’t like her “friends.” The difference is that Luz reaches outward to ease her loneliness (being social and friendly, trying new things, etc.) while Amity reaches inward (keeping a diary, staying busy, having a secret spot, etc.). They both also use escapist fiction to ease their loneliness.

That’s all well and good, but now we get into the real speculative parts.

...complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

When I was taking acting classes I was taught that the way you see people act is a persona based on their experiences on what it takes to survive and avoid physical, emotional and social death. So now we have to speculate based on what we were given on what emotional/social needs and wants has Amity not been getting before that she has with Luz.

First let me point you to another show called F is for Family. F is for Family is an adult animated sitcom on Netflix that follows a very dysfunctional family in the 1970s. These are legitimately bad characters, not in terms of being poorly written. What I’m saying is that these guys are assholes. But here’s where it gets interesting.

One of the characters is Kevin Murphy, the teenage son of the family. He’s a dim-witted wannabe rockstar who is always yelled at and put down by his parents throughout the entire series. However in season four Kevin meets Alice. Alice teaches Kevin that his favorite band is a big reference to Tolkien and gives him a copy of The Hobbit. They bond over their love of Lord of the Rings and get along really well. Alice calls him smart for being able to read all of Lord of the Rings over a few days and never puts him down. Even in the one time they did fight she never yelled at him or raised her voice which he found weird because he’s so used to being yelled at. Alice gave Kevin the emotional support he always wanted but never got from his family.

Using that as a backdrop, let’s go back to Amity.

Amity grew up with her parents making her do things she didn’t want to do, making choices for her. Amity wanted to be one way. Her parents wanted something else. Amity’s mother even dyes Amity’s hair green so it matches her siblings. Amity wanted to be friends with Willow. Amity’s parents wanted her to be friends with the mean kids. While Amity does work hard to be the best at what she’s doing, her parents also put pressure on her to make sure that she is at that level.

Her siblings are another bag of awful. They constantly refer to her by an annoying nickname that I’m guessing has an embarrassing moment attached to it. They seem to live by a double standard that Amity despises. She has to work hard and follow the rules just to be accepted while they are naturally talented and break the rules with everyone still thinking that they’re perfect.

Family is supposed to provide unconditional love except it looks like the love of the Blights is based on conditions. Nobody just likes Amity for who she is. She doesn’t have a friend.

Enter: the friendliest person she’s ever met

Amity has to struggle and work for the simplest things, even affection. Except when it comes to Luz. Luz is naturally friendly and positive. Amity doesn’t have to earn her kindness. Even when she’s bullied Luz before, Luz is always coming back with a smile. I suppose when you live life surrounded by jerks, you’ll want to hang out with the one person who’s always nice to you. Sort of.

Yes, Amity did think Luz was a bully for constantly getting her into trouble. But even at Covention and Lost in Language, Luz kept reaching out to her. This combined with Amity’s awareness of her own behavior is what convinced her to try to reach out in kind to Luz by the end of Lost in Language. “She’s trying to be nice to me, so I should try too,” I’m guessing is the mindset especially in Adventures in the Elements. And then...Luz continued to be nice to her which is kind of a big deal for Amity.

Let’s tally up what we have so far:

Luz and Amity have similar interests (The Good Witch Azura series, art, fiction, learning magic)

Luz and Amity have similar values (work ethic, disdain for cheating, protecting those closest to you, etc.)

Luz gives Amity the positivity and affection that Amity doesn’t normally get anywhere else

They still have differing personalities with Amity being more competitive and Luz having more of a live-and-let-live attitude.

Even with all these things in mind, why was Amity so scared to ask Luz to Grom?

Speculating again but my theory is that Amity wasn’t sure if Luz actually liked her or if Luz is just friendly because that’s how Luz is. Amity was scared of being rejected because she felt that maybe she was just reading the situation wrong. Luz is this ray of sunshine in her gray skies (if you’ll forgive the cliché). People like Amity always think of all the worst possibilities (I know because I do this too). Amity was probably thinking a bunch of what ifs. “What if Luz doesn’t actually like me? What if she’s just being friendly because she feels sorry for me? What if she has feelings for someone else? What if she never actually liked me? What if she’s straight?”

Luz is Amity’s first crush and it is scary as all hell to put yourself out there like that for the first time. She wasn’t expecting to get married at Grom night. She just wanted to dance with the girl she liked.

The dance at Grom was like confirmation for her that it could happen. Amity didn’t have to ask out Luz because Luz asked her. Being with Luz isn’t a pipedream. It’s a definite possibility. And we all know how she reacted to that idea.

Uh...she’ll be in her bunk.

While Luz and Amity aren’t together as of this typing, I believe it’s bound to happen. Until then, after The Lumity Trilogy, Amity knows that Luz is the girl she likes.

tl;dr version

Amity fell for Luz because they have similar interests and values, their personalities differ in a compatible way and Luz provides Amity emotional needs and wants that she doesn’t get anywhere else.

Also, round eared girl pretty.

Thanks everyone for reading.

#my thoughts #lumity #meta #analysis

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marsandsaturn · 4 years ago

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Can I ask for an ansty one-shot with aizawa, where he has to choose over the reader or one of his friends, and the reader conforts him, could be dirty or not

NOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, I REFUSE.....JK IM GONNA DO IT BECAUSE ITS AIZAWA BUT GOD I AM GOZING TO CRIIIII. Gender: Female Reader but it actually seems like a Gender Neutral Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Shota Aizawa. Not as known Endeavour or All might, but he is known if you are a fan of underground heroes. You were a super fan of underground Heroes, and luckily for you one of classes, you had to write as essay on a Pro-Hero. While other choose the top 20s or top 10 you chose your favorite Hero. Eraserhead. You had gotten a 100 on that essay, and usually when you do good on a essay for go to your favorite Coffee, Tea, or Boba, place, so that is what you did. What you didn’t expect was that the Pro-Hero was also at that place. You had literally ran into him and fell on your butt. Of course this old man,,,Elizabeth he’s like 31 calm down he’s not that old,,,would fall in love with a senior in college. Now you were a successful(the career you want in real life apply hear) and dating the Pro-Hero Eraserhead. The first two years were good, lots of cuddling, and hanging out at each other’s apartment. Eventually meeting his class was eventful. Lets just say your favorite students were, Hitoshi Shinsou and Shoto Todoroki, but that’s a secret only for you. But after two years a rough patch began to form. You see, you tended to get attached to people because of your mommy and daddy issues, but I am not going into detail about thats, so you weren’t often trying to be wit Aizawa as much as you can. And although he didn’t mind hanging out with you, he would have liked to hang out with his friends, specifically, Mic and Midnight. So the three of them went out to the club tonight, Midnight’s idea. You on the other hand were a bit upset that you weren’t invited but you pride wouldn’t never let you tell Aizawa how you feel, you stayed in your bed watching anime because why not. But that’s not when you snapped. One night he decided to go out again with his friends, and then another night, and another night, but those nights never bothered you. It was went he had promised the two of you to go out on a date, but instead you saw Aizawa on Mic’s Private story at a club instead of in his car on his away to pick you up. You snapped. You fell to the ground crying and hugging you knees. This is silly. It was okay that he forgot, it will only be one night. This was not going to be only one night, he hates you, you ask for too much, you can’t do things by yourself, he’s gonna leave you. No no Shota would never leave me, he promised, and he has never broken his promises. He broke one tonight. The devil and the angel in your head kept arguing as you dragged yourself out of the apartment. What were you going to do? Confront him like those girls you have seen all over Instagram. Why? Because you knew that you were going to drive him away, you always did. When you arrived, the three of them exited the club on their way to a fast food restaurant, when Midnight saw you. “Zawa isn’t that Y/N?” He turned his head and spotted you looking towards the grounds with your phone in your hand, looking through a bunch of pictures, but not of him, but of people who left you, you never deleted them because you had gotten to attached and didn’t want to delete them. His eyes widen when he realized the two of you had a date tonight. He called out your name you looked up, but tears began to run down your face as soon as you looked into his eyes. He walked towards you and grabbed your arm but you pulled away. “What did I do Shota? Please just answer this? Every time I ask someone this they never answer and try to ignore the question. I just wanna know, what I am doing wrong with each relationship of friendship I had.” You were sobbing at this point, but he pulled the two of you into a alleyway, “What do you mean?” “I have never wanted to be one of those girls, but I can’t take it anymore, not when I am in pain. Why do you chose them every time. I understand that they were there before me but you have been hanging out then them more than me. I haven’t even been in your arms in a month. I just want to love you, kiss you, cuddle you, have dinner with you, maybe lunch or breakfast. I just want you, but I probably did something wrong for you to not want to be around me anymore, fuck, please tell me what I did or am doing wrong so I can either fix it or leave” Shota was a mess, but not as much as you. Most people would have an explanation as to why they were hanging out with their friends more then their s/o but he didn’t have one. Not without giving it away. He wanted to do this on your birthday in your apartment but he didn’t know how much longer he could last. But he understood your pain. He knew the question you were asking, and he had an answer. “Y/N you have done nothing wrong, yes I forgot about tonight’s date, my love, I didn’t want to do this hear and especially in this situation but I can’t loose you. The day you told me about what you wanted to be I truly fell in love. I’m sorry I caused you all this pain” He bends down to touch your forehead with yours. He loved you too much. This man was whipped for you, or as Denki would state, a simp for you. He loved everything about you from the little things you do when your focused, to the 3 am adventures through the city that you post of your 3 am with Y/N private story that he watched while on patrol. He loved when you would try to cook but fail and almost burn down the apartment, and he loved whenever you would bake, because your baking was the best. He closes his eyes before removing his forehead that was against your and moves his lips towards your quivering ones. Both of your lips were soft, but yours tasted with vanilla with caramel, and his tasted like peppermint, a chapstick you bought him for when the holidays were around. He decided to put the chapstick on again now that it was November and holidays were coming up. He knew you loved when his lips tasted like peppermint. In this moment, you felt safe, you felt like you were home, which was something you haven’t felt in a while. You missed the softness of his hair, the way he looked at you, the way your heart missed a beat whenever he was around, the way he would lay in your arms after a long day, the way the two of you were sit in the bath with bubbles, or when the two of you would watch movies together, or how you two would just read together. “Y/N marry me” The man with the scar under his eye asked, You were shocked. This perfect man wanted to marry you. He wanted to marry a mess that was called Y/N. He wanted to marry you, out of all the people he chose you.

You began to tear up and give him a hug which he returned with a kiss to your forehead. He didn’t care how messed up you were, he wanted you for you. He knew from the moment he met you but didn’t accept that he wanted to marry you until you became successful in your career. “Shota” You called out his name. He pulled back away from the hug and looked at your face. HIs face was filled with love, but not just any love. It was love for you, it was love for the love of his life, his Y/N, “Can we have a June Wedding?” “Y/N is that a reference to the Vampire Diaries” ‘How’d you know Sho?” He laughed. But he knew that you accepted his proposal. He knew that you want him to be your husband as he wanted you to be his wife. “Actually I’d like a winter wedding because summer weddings suck and I have a list why” You began as he chuckled and kissed you one more time before leading you out the allyway. As soon as the two of you wanted out, Mic and Midnight began to cheer. Of course they were there to witness his proposing to you, they were his best friends after all.

“I love you Sho” “I love you too baby”

Author’s Note: I cried like twice TWICE. I wrote this and I made myself cry. Now I am not saying this is good but I hope it was to your satisfaction :) Please request more stuff like his I really enjoy these. Also sorry if there as any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes I was in a rush to write this as I have assignments due in a few hours sooo. Enjoy ! :) To make are request click here!

#my hero academia #aizawa smut #aizawa x y/n #bnha aizawa #fluf #aizawa fluff #aizawa angst #mha smut #bnha smut #bnha fluff #mha fluff

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theonethatwatchesalotofshows · 4 years ago

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Ranking every teen drama I've watched

I have gotten really into teen dramas lately, because it's quarantine I can't go out and have fun, but I can still watch other people my age going out and having fun and doing things I don't get to do. Anyway I haven't seen all teen dramas, I was never interested in supernatural ones, so you won't find Vampire Diaries and similar shows on this list.

From worst to best:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I will never understand how this show ran for five seasons. It will forever remain a mystery to me. This show is so bad it's good. The writing resembles a wattpad story, Amy's pregnancy is inconsistent (like how was she five months pregnant for like five or six episodes, aren't the episodes supposed to be set a week apart?), the acting is bad (that is not to say that Molly Ringwald or Shailene Woodley are bad actresses, obviously they're not, I'm talking about Amy's sister that has the same facial expression no matter what her mood is supposed to be), some of the views this show expresses are very old-fashioned and damaging (the madonna-whore binary, the fact that they can't even utter the word abortion) and every single male character on this show is a creep and a cheater. I can't believe I watched like thirteen episodes of this. I will never get that time back.

Weirdest moment: "I'm a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." (Was this supposed to be romantic??)

Best moment: none

Glee

This is going to be unpopular and don't get me wrong, I like Glee, but I feel like the writers put much more thought into the musical numbers than the storylines. Again, Quinn's pregnancy is inconsistent (but I'm starting to think TV shows are always inconsistent about pregnancies), the characters don't look like they're in high school at all, the cheerleaders wear their uniforms 24/7 for no reason (Quinn even wore it to her sonogram, like seriously?) the whole celibacy club thing is weird and Mr Schue is a terrible teacher. However, the visuals and the musical numbers are great, Sue Sylvester is iconic (albeit also a terrible teacher) and some of the scenes are really emotional (Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand made my sister cry) so overall, it's pretty good.

Weirdest moment: Finn praying to grilled cheese (what??)

Best moment: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody, Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Dawson's Creek

I LOVE their 90s' outfits and Joey and Pacey are really otp material, but I just can't stand Dawson! He got mad that Joey didn't tell him about his mother's affair, as if it was her place to get involved. She was 15! It's understandible she didn't want to get tangled into that mess. He also slut-shamed Jen in a really gross way. He literally stopped talking to her for a day when he found out she isn't a virgin. Why are both Joey and Jen into this guy?? This would've been a much better show if it was called Joey's Creek or Pacey's Creek.

Weirdest moment: the way Dawson's mom confessed her affair to her husband. I don't think any irl human would use this choice of words. Also that scene where Dawson's father was teaching him how to kiss while Joey was watching. Cringe.

Best moment: any time Joey and Pacey are bickering. My shipper heart!

Pretty Little Liars

I loved the book version of this, but the TV version seems way too dramatic. First of all, they romanticized Aria and Ezra's relationship (ewww) and made the whole thing seem much more overdramatic. I don't know how to explain it, I mean the books are also dramatic but the TV show somehow took it to a whole new level. None of the girls look like they're in high school, but I love the way they dress and do their makeup. It's almost as though the writers put more thought into their outfits than storylines. I still loved watching it until Netflix took it off, though.

Weirdest moment: Spencer somehow trying to block A's number from her laptop in the middle of a park and then being confused that it didn't work. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one, Spencer?

Best moment: Haleb in the shower, hiding from Hanna's mom.

Skins

This is a classic. Effy is iconic (I somehow heard about her even before watching Skins) and the musical number at the end of season 1 was out of nowhere but still somehow fit perfectly into the story. I also give this show point for being one of the few TV shows where teen characters are actually played by real life teens. They look their age, talk their age (no "I reject reality" or other cringy lines like that) and aren't unrealistically perfect like characters from American teen dramas tend to be. They look like people you might actually meet in high school. However the show loses points for all the continuity errors (are 8 episodes supposed to be the whole school year??) and the number of unneccessary death/tragic accidents. It seemed kind of over-the-top and unneccessarily dark and brutal at times.

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

Best moment: Wild World

Euphoria

The Gen Z American version of Skins, but with better visuals. Much better. I loved the aesthetic, the colors, the lighting and glitter. Zendaya's a great actress and I give this show points for casting an actual trans actress in the role of Jules. However I find it weird that all guys on this show are complete irredeemable assholes (except of Jules's dad and Ethan that is). Are we supposed to just root for the girls and not the guys? Also I find it hard to believe that any of these characters are actually 16/17. They have sex all the time (yeah teenagers have sex sometimes but on this show they treated Kat as some kind of a chaste nun for being a virgin at 16) and have seemingly no rules and no curfew. It would've been much more believable if they were in college.

Weirdest moment: Nate breaking into Tyler's house, beating him up and then taking a shower. The audacity this guy has!

Best moment: "You did this to me!" and Rue having an anxiety attack on the stage in theater class

Gossip Girl

I know this is also an unpopular opinion, because many claim Gossip Girl is the best teen drama ever, but for me it just got way too soapy as the seasons went on. The first two seasons were believable, even though they didn't really look like they were in high school, but after that it was just more and more weird plot points. I will give this show points for the fashion (I mean Blair's headbands and school uniform inspired a fashion line), the acting ("I killed someone"- iconic) and the choice of background music (Nate and Serena kissing to Paparazzi, Thanksgiving with Watcha Say). Despite the wild twists and turns of events, I just had to keep watching because this show had me hooked.

Weirdest moment: Bart Bass somehow flying off the building for no reason (seriously, what he did there had no logical explanation and defied laws of physics), Dan being Gossip Girl, Bart faking his death and returning more evil than before, Serena becoming Gossip Girl, the affidavit, everyone randomly stopping going to college... there are so many but Bart takes the cake I guess

Best moment: the Thanksgiving flashbacks from season 1, Dan placing a plastic crown on Blair's head

Freaks and Geeks

This is one of the few shows where high school is depicted realistically. It's not all glitter and parties and not everyone has sex and does drugs. Okay, I admit, the bullying was over the top and it was weird how no adults cared but other than that, it was pretty spot-on. It was emotional without being too dramatic and far-fetched and also had funny moments. Yes some of the characters may have been stereotypes but at least the show seemed self-aware of that. It's truly a shame we only got 18 episodes of this show, while The Secret Life of the American Teenager somehow got five seasons??? I don't get it.

Weirdest moment: when Cindy suddenly got super mean once she started dating Sam

Best moment: Daniel showing up at Kim's doorstep, Sam breaking down in tears in the end of 'Garage Door'

Gilmore Girls

I'm not sure this one counts as a teen drama, maybe it's more of a dramedy but I'm still including it here. It's funny, the dialogue is witty and full of obscure pop-culture references and the relationships between generations complex. Same as with Freaks and Geeks, the portrayal of high school is pretty realistic. Characters are shown studying and taking tests and not just partying all the time. However the show loses points for getting weirdly soapy in the 7th season. The dialogue wasn't as good and the camera angles were soap opera like and the storylines weren't very good either. You could really tell the show changed show-runners. The earlier seasons are the best. It's hard to explain but something about them feels cozy like a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

Weirdest moment: Lorelai marrying Chris and then making the whole "you're the man I want to want" speech, Lorelai defending and loving Dean for no reason

Best moment: Rory's graduation speech, Rory yelling at Chris and calling him out for not having been there for her, Then She Appeared, "Yes Emily, you may go first"... there are so many!

#teen dramas #the secret life of the american teenager #glee #dawson's creek #pll #skins #euphoria #gossip girl #freaks and geeks #gilmore girls #i would've included the oc but i havent seen enough of it yet

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captainillogical · 4 years ago

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Profoundly Yours Ch.3

Amity receives a love letter in her locker. Luz wants to help figure out who it is.

Cover art by my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants

Ao3 mirror

Several days pass with nothing else from Amity's secret admirer, until she gets to her locker after a particularly rough day. She just wants to go home and attempt to take a nap, the insomnia as of late has been awful and she’s not quite ready to admit it’s a problem.

She opens her locker, this time there happens to be a letter rolled up into a little scroll and tied with ribbon. She grabs it, placing her books inside the locker and taking the rest of her things out that she wants to bring home in her bag. There aren't really a lot of other students around, and no one's even looking in her direction, so she unties the ribbon to take a peek right there instead of later.

Amity immediately locks up when her eyes scan the page.

You're the beauty amongst the filth in this school.

I watch you as you walk the halls, the way you keep to yourself has me enthralled.

I wonder what you're thinking about when you chew your pencil so.

I wish to be that pencil, to feel your lips upon my lips.

Someday soon, you shall be mine.

She quickly balls up the paper, shoving it into her bag so she can no longer see it, heart pounding in her chest. There’s this unsettling feeling at the pit of her stomach, and she feels a little nauseous. Okay, yeah, she's pretty creeped out. If she was on the fence about her admirer before, she definitely has a solid impression of the weirdo now. She feels the hairs standing up on her neck as her mind is racing - oh jeez is the person still waiting around for Amity to read their letter?!

She whips her head around in time to see Willow giving her a strange look quite a few feet away at her own locker, and decides she doesn't want to stick around any longer for a comment. Was she watching the entire time?

Amity then leaves in a hurry, but she doesn't want to go straight home anymore. She needs to be alone to think.

The only place she knows where she can be truly alone, is in her secret hideout in the library. She leaves her bag on the floor, with the note still inside it and grabs her diary off the shelf to sit at and write on the large beanbag on the floor, sinking into it and relaxing.

She has a lot on her mind.

She doesn’t know who at school would write her these, and doesn’t like that they’ve been watching her. She really only chews her pencil when she’s intensely concentrating on studying, and rarely are people around her then. She ends up writing a lot about her newfound paranoia, but even then, eventually the words on the page turn to her writing about Luz.

Again.

Her thoughts are plagued incessantly by Luz, and that’s a first in the entirety of Amity’s life. She never thought she could feel such intense feelings about another person - let alone a human. She can’t seem to help it, though. After a lot of reflection on her own part about the other girl, Amity can’t help but like her. A lot. She keeps writing, finding the words flowing so easy on the page - her eyes droop, tiredness from the week making itself present.

She doesn’t even realize when she’s blasted through writing four pages of absolute mush - and then she thinks she hears something soft knock on the bookshelf entrance door.

She looks up, because she wasn’t sure she even heard a noise. She’s pretty tired, after all. Several seconds pass, and then there’s faint knocking again. Amity knows that Edric and Emira would just barge in, and the only other person that knows that her secret is here is.. the object of her affections.

“You can come in.” Amity says, judging herself at how quickly she’d allow Luz in. The human could’ve barged in, really, and she wouldn’t even be that offended - even though she knows Luz respects her privacy enough not to. There’s heavy scraping noises as the bookshelf opens for the other girl, Amity’s heart starts to speed up a little as she walks in and makes sure the entrance closes behind her. Large eyes stare back at her in concern, short hair flipped up in several directions as if she ran here.

“I know it’s not secret book club day, but Willow said you were acting weird by your locker earlier and then left in a rush.” Luz fumbles with her hands, Amity can’t help but notice. It’s a little strange. She’s worried about her - Amity feels her stomach do somersaults where she sits. “Are you okay?”

“She would say something, huh,” Amity slams her diary shut, almost forgetting that she was writing about the only other person in this room and tosses it onto the floor next to her as casually as she can. Luz’s eyes dart to it pointedly, and Amity curses in her mind.

“Was it another letter?” Luz asks, and Amity’s a little surprised that she just knows. She nods. “Can I see it?”

“It’s in my bag,” Amity points to hers on the floor, and Luz digs inside for it, pulling out the wad of scrunched up paper. She raises her eyebrows in confusion at the state it’s in, and walks over to the spot Amity’s sitting at and plopping herself down right next to the other girl, sinking into the beanbag as well. Luz doesn’t seem bothered at all with the fact that she’s now sitting flush against Amity, the side of her legs, hips, and arms colliding with the other girls as she carefully unwraps the paper, making sure she doesn’t tear it.

Amity sits there in muted shock, all too aware of Luz’s body warmth against her own as she reads the letter. It’s starting to get too warm in here. She feels her own hands getting clammy. Why does Luz keep getting so close to her? Is this just how she is with all of her friends? She needs to pay more attention to how the human acts with Willow and Gus for reference at this point because she’s going to go crazy if she keeps analyzing all this. Amity’s never been like this with any of her friends, so why is Luz so comfortable with her?

Not to say that Amity actually minds at all.

“Amity.” Luz speaks suddenly, drawing her immediately out of her current train of thoughts with a startle. She meets the other girl’s gaze. “You’re sure it’s not someone in the majority of your classes? This is creepy.” She finishes with a frown, leaning further against her. “Who would write something like this to someone they like, and expect it to go over well?”

“I don’t know,” Amity replies truthfully. “It’s not like I ever catch anyone staring at me.”

“Ughhhhhhhhhh,” Luz groans, stretching her legs out and resting her head against the back of the beanbag. “I wasn’t sure on how to feel about these, but now I’m nervous that they’re going to get bold, or worse, try something in the middle of class,” She rolls her head over to face Amity, giving her a very serious look. “I don’t like the line about your lips, or especially the ‘you shall be mine’ bit.”

Amity feels her face flush, Luz taking up the majority of her senses. She tries not to look at her, her mind is reeling with thoughts like ‘haha oh Amity, imagine if she were jealous over this person? Wouldn’t that be something.’ “Considering they still haven’t bothered writing their name down, I think they’re too much of a coward to meet me face to face.”

“If it were me, I would’ve just came straight out with it. I don’t see the point of not just being honest with your feelings?” She rants out loud, clearly agitated. “Why bother hiding your feelings behind letters and anonymity, when that doesn’t help your case in the sake of romance? Just be forward!”

Amity avoids her eyes, knowing that her own face is incapable of hiding her own feelings for the other girl after she’s called out indirectly about her own feelings for the human.

“Being forward can be hard, though,” Is what comes out of Amity’s mouth, and Luz turns her head to directly stare at her, eyebrows raised in apprehensiveness.

“Are you defending your secret admirer?” She replies, and Amity feels her own face light up in embarrassment. She was only speaking for herself here, and now Luz thinks that she’s defending this creep?!

“N-no!” She retorts in a hurry, Luz’s confused face making her all the more flustered. “Not at all, I just understand that confrontations with your feelings can be hard,” She realizes what she’s saying as she remembers that Luz knows all about her own greatest fear, thanks to Grometheus. The expression on Luz’s face changes to something a little more knowingly as Amity’s stomach sinks - tone in the air changing. Luz opens her mouth to say something, a small grin turning the corners of her lips, and she cuts her off. -”not that I’d know anything about that. Anyway, whoever they are, I just hope they don’t try cornering me when I'm alone.”

“Hmmm,” Luz’s pupils fall on Amity’s face - said girl watches the brown specks in her eyes sparkle, her chest constricting when Luz meets her gaze. “I could always walk you to and from class if you’re that worried. I could be your knight! I can be protective and stuff! Although I kinda feel a little more like Westley from Princess Bride..” She finishes, excited at the prospect of her own suggestion, the meaning of it completely flying over her head.

“T-that’s..” Amity stutters, unable to stop herself from being affected by Luz’s boundless enthusiasm and the implications, whatever the hell Princess Bride is. “That’s not necessary at all. I can protect myself.”

“I know you can protect yourself Amity! Pretty sure you can beat me at arm wrestling any time,” Luz retorts with a snort, grin wide on her face as she wiggles her eyebrows at the other girl. Amity finds her stupidly endearing. “And beat me at loads of other things, but seriously, it might discourage the guy from approaching you if you always had a friend around.”

“I’ll think about it.” She says with a sigh, trying to not let her face fall at the way Luz says ‘friend’. “I don’t want to bring attention to myself, so..”

“I get it! Just let me know.” She smiles warmly at Amity, not knowing at all of what it does to her poor heart. “I did want your opinion on something, though, not to change the subject.. was reading this Azura fanfic the other day that had some interesting theories..”

“Yeah?” Amity perks up, interested.

“Yeah, so, remember that one scene with Hecate at the end of book four? So, this guy thinks that..” Amity mainly listens to the sound of her voice here, as Luz trails off about this specific writer’s off-color opinions about the possible end of the books. She does try to pay attention, but it’s so freaking difficult when it happens to be the one person she’d rather be kissing than anything else.

Ugh.

She needs to stop pining.

She finds her body relaxing as she gives minimal responses to Luz, other girl delving into deeper and deeper lore quite animatedly. It’s really fucking cute, honestly.

Her head feels so heavy here leaning against the bean bag, Luz warm against her side. She doesn’t even realize when she’s falling asleep, listening to the sound of the other girl’s light voice as she goes on and on about her own specific Azura end-book theories, comfort washes over her like a blanket..

She wakes up to the sound of soft humming of someone very familiar, and a page turning in a book. She doesn’t want to open her eyes just yet. It’s Luz, obviously - her brain catches on that detail almost immediately. What was she doing last? Ah, right, they were in her secret hideout. She realizes she’s somehow laying with her head in Luz’s lap, and she’s unable to comprehend how she got in this position in the first place. Another page turns, humming getting a little louder.

There’s a hand on her head, petting her hair. It’s gentle and tender in it’s motions, and Luz’s fingernails softly scrape her scalp. It feels really nice actually, so nice that she almost falls back asleep.. and then warm fingers graze the edge of the tips of her pointed ears, and she feels her entire body break out in a flush. The appendage stays there, resting against her skin; her heart beating wildly against her ribcage. Luz’s finger softly rubs against her sensitive outer lobe, and Amity’s knee-jerk reaction is to sit up immediately and clutch her ear like it was burned, yelping out loud embarrassingly.

“Oh hey, you’re awake. I probably shoulda’ woke you up earlier, but I was pretty engrossed in this guy here,” She grins innocently, showing Amity the cover of one of her favorite fantasy novels. “You were also just so cute and peaceful that I couldn’t really bring myself to it..”

“U-um,” Amity stutters, face taking on a look identical to a tomato. She called you cute. She's physically incapable of moving, and can’t seem to force out any words, her brain is screaming at her - she was touching your ears! Luz! Ohhhhhh myyyyy g-

“Amity, are you okay? Your face is really red,” Luz points to her, her own cheeks starting to color as her eyebrows furrow. “Oh jeez, I wasn't doing something strange right? Don’t tell me I just did something super weird, I was just absentmindedly reading, I didn’t realize..”

-“No! No. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Amity lies, knowing full well this will be all she can think about for the next month. Stupid human and her friendly casual-ness, she’s going to be the cause of a heart attack in Amity. "I'm just sorry I fell asleep on you. How long was I out?"

"Nonsense! What are friends for anyway?" She replies almost nervously, frantically waving her hands. "...and three hours, give or take."

"Three hours?!" Amity hisses out, unable to comprehend that Luz let her sleep on her for that long. "I was supposed to be there for a family dinner tonight! They're gonna kill me."

"I'm sorry! I would've woken you up earlier if I knew you had to be somewhere! You've just seemed really tired lately is all.." Luz scratches her cheek sheepishly.

Amity stares at the other girl. How the hell can she read Amity so well?! She feels like the blush on her face is constant at this point around Luz, and it's going to give her away any day now.

"It's.. it's fine. They'll be mad no matter what excuse I'll give them, so.." She shrugs, trying to ignore the thoughts at the back of her mind. "I feel a lot better now anyway."

"Have you been having issues sleeping? I can ask Eda if she has any solutions - that lady's always got a potion for something."

"I appreciate that Luz, but it's just been some other stuff on my mind that I'm sure is what's causing it." The green-haired witch sighs out truthfully. "Can't seem to let my mind rest, lately."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She offers, and Amity nearly laughs right at her. Yeah, sure Luz! I can't seem to sleep because I can't stop thinking about how much I love you!

"Lord no," is what comes out of her mouth quickly, Luz giving her a strange look. "I just don't feel ready enough to talk about that."

"Well, if you ever want to, and you don't mind that it's me, I'm here." She gives Amity a soft, genuine smile, and Amity doesn't know what to do. Her heart hurts, and Luz is looking at her with such kindness and patience that all she wants to do is lean over and kiss the other girl.

The room is eerily quiet for a moment as Amity gathers her jumbled thoughts, the human girl staring at her like she's the only other person worth looking at, breath held like she's waiting for something.

Amity almost blurts out a love confession on the spot, but her stomach growls instead. It ruins the atmosphere instantly.

"Oh. Guess I'm kinda hungry.." She covers her stomach with her arm out of embarrassment, as if that would help anything.

"Well, you did skip dinner." Luz stands up and stretches her arms, and then offers a hand to Amity. "Would Miss Blight like to grab some food with her human companion?" She winks a little smugly, grin on her face. "Only if you're up for it though."

Amity stares at the hand in front of her, feeling her face flush for the hundredth time today. She grasps Luz's palm before she can second guess herself, standing up on unsteady feet.

"Well, it's not like I can get into further trouble." She replies, holding onto the other girls hand a second or two longer than necessary.

She did get into trouble though, and was admonished for quite some time when she got home later in the evening. Her parents grill her on her whereabouts, and she just tells them that she fell asleep. It's not like it's a lie. She does catch her siblings eavesdropping nearby, the absolute heathens.

When they're finally done, she goes to hide in one of the bathrooms for a while - she knows that Ed and Em are gonna pry into everything.

Five minutes into her nightly routine, and she hears two pairs of footsteps walking towards the bathroom she's in, like clockwork. She rolls her eyes to herself, not feeling up to the harassment tonight.

"Ohhhh Mittens~" Comes the annoying voice of her brother from beyond the door. Amity thinks for a brief second that she could just ignore them and carry on as usual, but she knows they won't let that happen.

"What." She answers sharply, water running in the sink. She grabs her face wash.

"Don't be like that! We just want to make sure you're okay," Emira says sweetly, and jiggles the doorknob that Amity locked prior.

"No you're not," She replies, rubbing soap onto her cheeks and forehead. "You're here to gloat."

"So not!" Edric cries. "We just love our baby sister and we're concerned!"

"Suuuure." Is all she mumbles, uncaring as she rinses off her face.

"Where were you earlier? You never miss family dinner. Did something happen?" Emira prys, and Amity just sighs. She doesn't want to do this right now.

She finishes wiping her face, and suddenly opens the bathroom door wide - Edric was leaning on it and he almost falls to the floor, Emira catching him. Amity glares at her siblings.

"Can you two leave me alone for once?!" She snaps, and stomps off to her room, her siblings' crying out behind her.

She locks her bedroom door behind her, and flops onto her bed face-first.

She tries to sleep, but ends up thinking about Luz for literal hours instead. As per usual.

#the owl house #toh #lumity #luz noceda #amity blight #my fic #profoundly yours #luz x amity

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spare-no-feelings · 4 years ago

Text

My Dissection of The Hilltop Scene™

I’ve been meaning to write this for ages, and here it is!

As is the case with many, Gentleman Jack changed my life. Weirdly enough, I had heard about Anne Lister a priori (I even watched The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister the movie), but the show really brought it home for me, with so many emotions involved that I can’t even.

Like for so many of us, The Hilltop Scene™ was what absolutely tore me apart, in a good way.

Two things to know about me before I begin: one, I typically don’t remember shit from the first time I watch a show or a movie; and two, I never did get the whole hype about Victorian romance novels, love stories a la Jane Austen or the Bronte sisters, all those girls (including my mother) swooning over a Mr Darcy and wanting a kiss in the foreground of a sunset.

Well, now I know that it’s because they’re all hetero-oriented. Furthermore, The Hilltop Scene™ officially tricked my shitty memory because I clearly remember the first time I saw it and how it immediately left a permanent mark on my heart and soul (along with the “But you came so close” scene). After it was done, I had to pause the episode and literally scream into the void (much like Anne herself just before Ann walked up) because of the swirl of feels that came over me.

From the get-go I was Team Lister, which is perhaps why The Hilltop Scene™ resonates with me. Anne is so freakin’ brave and unapologetic and I can only strive to be more like her, but it is her vulnerability and the inability to control her roller coaster of emotions that really spoke to me in this particular instance - certainly helped by the fact that Suranne Jones’s acting was impeccable, as was Sophie Rundle’s, of course.

Because we know that this scene did not historically happen, at least not as such, in my opinion it gives even more credit to the brilliant writing, the photography, the direction, and of course the aforementioned acting. I’m unaware of how many takes they had to shoot (probably not many, since they were filming during sunset), but this definitely feels like a scene you would see in a theater, one where everything just falls into place because the actors are feeling it and because absolutely nothing is missing. To think that the final product was even better than what the script anticipated as well is just one more bonus - a drop of honey on top of a cherry on top of a red velvet cake, maybe?

This little observation of mine will tend to get into almost every little detail of The Hilltop Scene™, as if each and every one of them was put there deliberately and for a reason (who’s to say it wasn’t?). I like to think they were all a choice anyway, because so much of this show shines through the subtleties, the little things, the unspoken promises they make to each other through gazes and body language, creating images that will stay with me forever.

The Hilltop Scene™ opens with Ann Walker - wearing the gondola pin - arriving atop and seeing Anne Lister there. Her heart is almost visibly beating out her chest; her face is one of relief, of a happiness that makes her tear up immediately, as if they haven’t seen each other for years but at the same time no time has passed since they last met.

She calls out to Anne. Anne turns out and she probably thinks she is imagining things - after fifteen days on a ship through winter seas, I would probably think so too. She’s breathless as she utters “good lord” with her husky voice that gets me every time.

Ann tells her “I thought you were in Copenhagen” in a way that feels both curious (that she’s back) and accusing (as if Ann wishes to remind Anne that she left her, and went as far as Denmark). She slightly nervously holds on to the hems of her dress.

“I am. I was..” Anne is likely still a bit confused from her journey, seeing as she had to leave so hastily. She is taken; her “Aren’t you in Scotland?” question sounds much more accusing than Ann’s, as if she also wants to confirm that Ann really is standing there and is not just an apparition, a figment of her imagination, as she was for much of the time during her travels.

To this, Ann starts blabbing, probably out of being nervous around Anne after all this time. She starts telling Anne that she didn’t know about the letter Anne had sent her because no one told her and she starts marching towards Anne, to which Anne flinches and steps back. I cannot stress enough how much this moment was important for me: she is also not physically ready to have Ann close to her. She is still so hurt and broken that her body formed a defensive reaction to protect her from more heartache. To see Anne retreat like this, knowing her otherwise quite confident and forward personality, was really interesting to me, something that had already happened in the “But you came so close” scene in a more emotional, less physical way.

This gets Ann to stop, also instinctively. She goes to explain that her sister couldn’t write back because Anne’s letter disappeared, and then moves on to talk about how she thinks her sister’s marriage is not a good one, all the while Anne is a little surprised at how many words are coming out of Ann right now, as if it is hard for her to catch up with it all. She wants to say something in response to Ann, but she can’t because Ann just keeps going, talking about her brother-in-law and how he is probably not a good man. A notable moment here is Anne taking her top hat off, pulling her ponytail hair back and wiping her nose - don’t know what it is, but that was so goddamn sexy.

Ann finally ends her rant, realizing that she’s been talking so much, and she gets a little embarrassed for it in a really cute way. It is now Anne’s turn to speak - she tries to keep the conversation formal, which I guess is another form of self-defense, by saying “Well. I suppose that’s the trouble with being very rich. You never can be sure of people’s motives.” She says it in a petty way, one that makes it sound like it’s a curse, and that Anne is glad that she is not rich herself (something she so longed for), or that she dodged that bullet by not ending up with Ann. This also references Anne helping Ann shrug off her gold-digging cousins and also her asking to borrow money from her herself - as if those things never happened.

In a twisting turn, Ann says that she and her sister talked about her, to which Ann’s look changes: there is a glimmer of hope, because why would they possibly be talking about her when their whole deal was off? You can see that the light in her tired eyes is firing up again, only to be stifled again when Ann says “She said… she thought that sometimes, often, a good friendship is better than a marriage.” This is where Anne’s face goes dark and she looks down to the ground, probably thinking “Not THIS shit again?!” I think many wlw went through this many a time with a straight crush they had, and well, what can I say, Anne Lister gets it better than anyone.

Ann sees Anne’s low spirit and worried, she asks: “Are you alright?” In previous instances, whenever someone would ask Anne this question, she would famously answer: “I’m always alright.” But with Ann, she can’t help but be completely honest, and she looks like the question hit her right in the spot and that she can’t hold it in anymore. Following a tired, crying “Mmm”, she tells Ann that the pit collapsed, that it flooded, but that it can be fixed with more money. She’s annoyed at herself: “I took a gamble! I shouldn’t have.”

“But we’re not alive, are we? If we’re not taking the odd risk… now and again…” She looks at Ann as if to remind them both of how well Ann knows her, as if to say: “You know how this goes… I can’t stand still and I have to make life interesting even if it makes me poor.” Anne also knows that she took a gamble with Ann herself, attempting to form a relationship that had to be secret and had to rely on so many different factors that it’s no wonder it was doomed. But what got me is the way she said it and the way she looked at Ann while saying it; as if the gamble she took with Ann was worth it, even though it ultimately failed.

To Ann, on the other hand, this gives that courage Anne asked of her a few episodes prior - she is about to take a gamble herself. She steps forward while replying: “No… no, we’re not.” She looks at Anne with a kind of confidence that was never there before, which Anne immediately feels and responds to, this time without another choice. She can’t talk about other stuff anymore: she admits that she should have written to Ann again. “But when I didn’t hear back, I…” That’s when she spots the gondola pin.

They are standing close to each other now and the tension gets palpable. Anne is overtaken with emotion: the see-saw of losing and getting hope back on the top of this hill carries on as she looks at Ann to once again examine her intentions and to simply get lost in her eyes. Ann looks back the same way, her gaze letting Anne know that she is there, ready for whatever happens next.

“God I’ve missed you,” Anne says while her voice goes thin and shaky. There’s no more pretending, no more holding this avalanche of emotions back. Ann looks so relieved while taking a deep breath. She takes Anne’s hand and asks: “Have you?” with a tone of voice that could probably not be replicated so easily; it’s asking Anne to reassure Ann once more, to tell her that all might just not be lost, that her hopes that Anne misses her and wants her still have been valid and true all along.

Anne, once again, feels like she should probably not go any further than that, not knowing for sure what Ann’s feelings are right now - the scars of having been burnt on that same fire are still very sore. She’s holding Ann’s hand, takes it up and starts kissing it nevertheless, taken by the fact they are close again, that she can touch her again. She turns her hand over and sees the scar on her wrist. Ann pulls it away, but Anne takes it back: it really is a wrist cut. “There was just one morning I just thought I couldn’t stand it anymore.” Ann’s honesty is daunting, one that she is only able to have for Anne as she is the only one who could possibly understand her pain.

Anne is worried, she’s feeling guilty for not being there for Ann, she would have come straight back if she had known that (just like she was planning to before changing her mind last minute). Ann feels guilty too, perhaps thinking that Anne would think her too weak for this as well, because of the danger she put her own self in. She looks down in shame and sorrow.

Anne is holding her face, but then… she takes a step back, determined to make a confession she can no longer keep quiet. There’s the long sign, there is the head tilt, the taking the gamble, yet again.

“Do you know… I don’t think one hour passed where I didn’t think of you.” Truer words have never been said for Anne.

Ann is shocked - she did not see this coming. She worked hard to convince herself to expect the great Anne Lister to be thinking about her at all, especially not after all this time, and to tell herself not to think of Anne either. This so evidently fills her tender, tired heart with joy.

“I tried not to,” Anne continues, “But every time I closed my eyes… there you were!” Suranne’s delivery of this line is some of the finest acting I have ever seen: Anne is filled to the brim with sadness, honesty, torment and finally love, with just a liiiiittle bit of comedy spicing it up to take the edge off. Ann, on the verge of tears, nods and looks down, saying nothing, probably contemplating and taking it all in - it had, after all, been the same for her too.

But for Anne, this appears as hesitation. She gives Ann enough time to say something back, but when Ann doesn’t, it is time for her to put her guard up, once again. When Anne realizes that Ann probably won’t respond, and most certainly not with something she’s been so desperately wanting to hear from her for months, she pulls herself together and goes back to talking about general stuff - but this time with a little more affection.

“I met the Queen of Denmark!” Anne is not one to shy away from telling everyone about her achievements, certainly not ones including Royalty itself. The way she tells Ann about her experiences in Copenhagen - the excitement in her voice, the vivacity of her body movements, her holding of Ann’s hand that was not interrupted yet - reminds them both and us as viewers of just how close they are, how intimate their relationship still is, how themselves they get to be in each other’s presence.

Now it’s Anne’s turn to babble on - she tells Ann all about the Queen’s birthday ball the way she would tell her family, leaving no detail behind. Ann looks at her in awe and so in love: she laughs and giggles and she can see it all in front of her so vividly, as if she was there with her. “But all night I kept thinking: if you’d have seen me! You’d laugh!” Anne is grinning now because it’s true - Ann has been in her thoughts the whole time and now she gets to finally tell her about it, because she’s right there in front of her, they are finally reunited, the distance does not separate them anymore and the pain is gone, even if just for a moment.

“I had to wear white! Head to toe in white satin,” Anne tells her, again as if saying: “Me! Can you imagine?” And indeed, Ann cannot, as she laughs at it as if it was the most unnatural thing she’s ever heard. “But I made a bit of an impact,” Anne says, “One way or another.” It’s what she does, she makes an impression on people, as Ann knows very well. Ann looks at her hypnotized by her story, her arms, her voice, her eccentric yet endearing persona.

Anne’s speech too is now drawing to a close. “Friendly people, the Danes,” she concludes. “I think I shall go back there.” She realizes she probably will leave again soon, and alone, once more, like so many times before. “One day,” she says.

Ann, in her own right, realizes now is the time to show that courage she’s been mustering since leaving Scotland. She looks down for a second, looks back up and says: “Perhaps I could come with you.”

Anne has been here before; how many times she had wished for Ann to tell her exactly this, but at the same time knows the outcome of it all very well. Her look is telling Ann: “Please don’t do this, because we’ve done this already, remember?” Her grief is washing over her, as she cannot take false hope anymore.

Ann understands Anne’s reaction but is not pushed away by it. She carefully draws herself closer; we have never seen her be this bold, this convinced before. “You know… If you asked me to marry you again...” The camera is documenting Anne’s emotional journey: she too is taken by surprise by the way Ann carries herself, by the things she is saying. “I wouldn’t say no.” Could it really be?

This time it is Ann proposing to Anne.

Until this moment it was always Anne talking about marriage, and Ann being her wife. Here we see Ann taking initiative, we see her bring it up using Anne’s own proposal, fearlessly and sure of herself and the decision she made. Though this convinces Anne, it is only for a second: she can’t shake off the feeling that she will be let down yet again. She simply cannot trust Ann on this, even if she is so wonderfully, finally brave. “Hm… but would you say yes?” She looks deeply into Ann’s eyes, expecting to find hesitation.

But Ann is so far from hesitant. With a determination she has so longed for, with a conviction she so searched for, she says: “Yes.”

“Would you? And stick to it? And mean it?” Anne wants to make sure Ann understands her well.

“Yes.” Ann has never been more sure of anything in her life.

Anne gets closer to Ann, encouraged. “Take the sacrament with me? In church? And mean that too?” She needs to make the deal clear.

Ann loves the way Anne is thorough and persistent. She smiles and goes to place her hand on Anne’s face. The music gets louder with a revealing, hopeful tone. It all probably feels like a dream to Anne, as Ann becomes the girl she always hoped she would become: one that would take Anne for who she is, and there would be just the two of them on the planet. Ann wipes the tears from her cheek: “I love you, Anne.” She is the one sealing the deal now. Anne cannot believe her ears but is thrilled at the same time. Ann reassures her: “I’m in love with you. I always have been.” Ann is finally at peace with what she’s been feeling all along, and is ready to own her happiness, and to make the woman she can’t, and doesn’t want to, live without, happy as well.

Anne is speechless. The long, exhausting journey and the ache she’s been feeling have all come to an end, and she will at last be able to live her truth with someone she loves. “Don’t hurt me,” she says to Ann while taking comfort in her hand. It’s an unexpected statement from one Anne Lister - even Ann Walker thinks so - the woman always in charge of her feelings, always with a brave face on. Her walls are finally down. “I’m not as strong as you think.” She can be honest with Ann while she’s giving her her heart. “I mean I am, obviously!” She is Anne Lister, after all. Ann knows it; she knows her, and she recognizes her trying to remain the dominant, tough one. “But… sometimes I’m not.”

There are no words left to be said. They look into each other’s eyes - this is it. They are both in the same place, at the same time, the universe has aligned and all the obstacles are gone, there is just Anne for Ann and just Ann for Anne and nothing else can possibly matter as much as this. Ann tilts her head forward, signaling to Anne, and Anne dives in for a passionate kiss as the music is triumphant in crescendo. She looks at Ann for just a second - yes, she really is there, and this really is happening. The sun reflects on the tears streaming down her face as they get lost in each other, lush Yorkshire landscape and a vast blue sky behind them.

#long post #really long post #gentleman jack #anne lister #ann walker #the hilltop scene #anne x ann #ann(e)dom #suranne jones #sophie rundle #about me #kinda like fanfic #but not really

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violetosprey · 5 years ago

Note

Is possible to even have a healthy relationship with a yandere? 🩸 🔪

Hey there. I’m going to go ahead and assume this is a question regarding fictional yanderes because that’s what this blog focuses on.

Now people who’ve read a little into this tumblr before know I tend to lean more towards the “romance turned horror” kinds of yandere stories where the yandere in question is definitely the antagonist. In those, yeah those won’t be healthy relationships being shown (I don’t call it horror for nothing).

Despite this, the answer to your question I’d actually say is: Yes.

Remember, you said “healthy,” not “normal.” There IS a difference. While yandere behavior can get a little strange and excessive, that behavior itself might not ALWAYS negatively impact the overall relationship. And yes, while there are plenty of yandere who definitely don’t exhibit healthy boundaries a relationship needs, it’s not impossible to adjust a yandere so that the relationship between them and their S/O is not only enjoyable, but also functional.

What is a healthy relationship first of all? Well it’s kind of odd for me to be answering this since most of my important relationships are more familial or platonic. But the same rules should apply here I think.

The participants in a relationship should:

- Have good communication

- Be there for each other

- Give healthy space when necessary

- Stand on equal footing (respect wise definitely)

- Be able to compromise

- Not harm one another mentally/physically intentionally

Some of those ideas kind of blend together but I think you get the idea. Now already just from that you can spot why yanderes can potentially be a bad suitor. We’ve seen yanderes who stalk, ignore/fight back against rejection, kidnap and straight up murder for their cause. Doesn’t really scream “dream boyfriend/girlfriend” in the most realistic sense.

The big thing to remember though is not all of the extremely negative behavior of a yandere CAN have is mutually exclusive to yanderes. Meaning, you don’t have to have a yandere character whose knife crazy or even all that threatening honestly.

One obvious thing to do is just tone down a yandere character. You can keep a lot of crazy lovesick stuff they do: take secret photos of their S/O, have a big shrine, talk endlessly or almost exclusively about their S/O, glare at the opposition (there is a BIG difference also between a character who has threatening thoughts vs. one that ACTS upon said threats), etc. Again, this certainly would make the relationship seem weird from the outside due to how enthralled the yandere is. But as long as the behavior there is not really too disruptive for either the S/O OR the yandere in their daily lives, it doesn’t necessarily make it bad.

If the behavior exhibited by the yandere doesn’t cause the S/O extreme mental stress or disrupt their daily routine (like school, work or even pastimes), then no harm no foul.

This may be because the S/O is unperturbed by the behavior, or actually is very into it. Of course, for a healthy relationship the S/O needs to reciprocate the yandere’s feelings. That’s super obvious to state I know, but I need to emphasize that because one of the biggest reasons a yandere can end up as the antagonist of a story is because the S/O doesn’t WANT to be with the yandere. There can be many reasons for that, but a rejected yandere can take a “no” very badly.

I should also mention that a receptive S/O ALONE is not enough to declare the relationship automatically healthy. There are people for instance who stay in a relationship with…well someone who they obviously shouldn’t. Hence why toning down some of the yandere’s behavior so they’re not outright dangerous for the S/O to be with is still a huge factor here.

Oh! I know it’s always common to first and foremost consider the S/O’s safety when we’re talking about yanderes. But just for fun I should also state it TECHNICALLY is possible for a yandere’s relationship with an S/O to be unhealthy more-so for the yandere rather than the S/O. Most people probably don’t even consider this (I don’t). But if for instance the yandere is the type of character that is just so incredibly focused on the needs and happiness of the S/O, their behavior may become self-destructive. For instance, they quit their job to follow the S/O around all day. They get extreme anxiety they can’t overcome whenever they’re apart from the S/O. Or they won’t EAT or SLEEP because they’re too lovesick to literally think about their own needs. Fun fact, that last one came to mind because I was watching a bunch of random episodes of “Archie’s Weird Mysteries” that I used to watch when I was younger. That’s probably the strangest reference I ever made, but that show is the only reason I even know what the heck Riverdale is supposed to be about. But yeah, there was an episode where one of the girls wanted to get Archie to love her more and it makes him so lovesick he literally starts neglecting his own health.

So yeah, not a topic tackled often, but a healthy relationship for a yandere and an S/O should be for both ends. If they’re well written characters, they should be able to stand a bit on their own when apart from the S/O.

In the event anyone was curious if you could have a healthy yandere relationship WITHOUT toning down the yandere…well I think that really depends on how an author writes the story and characters as a whole. With fiction, you can get pretty creative with the scenarios. Not just with the yandere, the S/O could be a rather “unique” character themselves. I don’t really have any good examples off the top of my head, but the relationship could be something where any other normal character wouldn’t work with the yandere, but something about the S/O makes them a perfect match. This may be due to their personality, backstory or even special abilities they have.

You can also set up outside conflicts that make the relationship with the yandere seem a lot more endearing than it normally would. Bringing up Future Diary (again), remember Yuki thought Yuno was initially cute but was rather unsettled by some of her behavior. If it was kept in the normal school life setting, he probably would have kept running away from her. But the main plot of Future Diary was a survival game that he was not ready for initially. Yuno’s dedication to him while there are other characters out for blood suddenly made Yuno GOOD for his health. It was safer for him to be with her, and then this gave the two an opportunity to actually bond overtime under these unusual circumstances.

It’s never a bad idea to give some time for the bond to grow. In a fictional story, the audience will have an easier time warming up to the characters as a couple if they’ve been able to see who they develop together.

Otherwise, you could start right off with the characters already in a relationship. I know I’ve seen some comedies where this is the case, and it’s always fun to see how the two characters interact in a daily routine.

That’s all I got for now. Hope that works!

#yandere #male yandere #analysis #storytelling #answer

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neosaysno · 5 years ago

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FantineAquane (Danganronpa)

So I decided to come back to this blog after a year, and I took on a new character. Meet FantineAquane, the SHSL Secret.

...

I’m already scared.

(CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of pedophilia and noncon. Seriously.)

Warning! Because of the nature of this fandom, I will be going into spoiler territory.

Name:FantineAquane Gender: DOB:13 October Blood typeO+ Height:1.78 meter Weight:55 kg

Okay, let’s unpack this, because there’s a good bit here. And we already have problems.

... FantineAquane is NOT a name. That looks like a username of some kind, and when I googled FantineAquane, I discovered that it was indeed used as a username! I also managed to track down the creator, but I’m not really going to bother...

Why is the Gender thing blank? Even if you’re nonbinary, agender, whatever, that would be listed. However, the rest of the profile uses “she/her” pronouns and calls her a “girl”, so I’m going to go ahead with calling Fantine a girl for the rest of this.

No issues with the birthday, but she’s slightly underweight, which is an unfortunately common thing in OCs. Thankfully it’s not too egregious (Less than ten pounds underweight).

FantineAquane is tall-slim girl.She has long straight-wavy purple-black acid type haired.She weared purple short jacket with a long sleeves,old white worned brassier and worn daisy dukes.She has big blue-bright cerulean eyes with long eyelashes.She has a faded scars inside her jacket.

That grammar... Ughhh. It’s not /that/ bad, but it clearly tells me the writer isn’t a native English speaker. Or if they are, they’re flat out terrible at it.

Pray for me while I decipher this. It feels like I’m solving a worse Metheus puzzle.

Tall and slim... Okay, she’s about 5′8, so she’s actually decently tall for a... wait, how old is she?!

This is an actual problem. We don’t even have a listed age range. This is a problem for a Danganronpa OC! Even the DR1 students at least had age ranges, from sixteen at the youngest, presumably. (Well, they were a year or two older because of the lost memories, but that’s not too much to bring up.) What IS the problem is that we have no listed age. Yes, I am nitpicking that.

And “acid”... I’m gonna assume that’s neon hair. I am not going to provide a visual reference because that would mean your eyes will hurt.

That’s not even that appropriate! We don’t see Danganronpa students walking around with neon hair! Ibuki and Souda are the only people who remotely fit that, and their hair is toned down enough to not be painful to the eyes. Our solace here is that the art doesn’t hurt to look at.

And why is she only wearing a jacket over her bra?! Where’s her shirt?! Even Aoi had a shirt! While yes, girl power and all, that’s just flat out inappropriate! I’m assuming this is JUST killing game garb, but I sure as hell hope Fantine wears the uniform during school years! Most, if not all schools would take disciplinary action if you walked in wearing that kind of outfit!

(Note, Angie technically is wearing a swimsuit, so I’m not going to bring that up, but the clothing description confirms that this is a full out bra that Fantine has, not a bikini top.)

No comment on the eyes, but the scars (or... scar? See, this is why you need to have decent grammar) don’t seem to be brought up elsewhere, so -1 point.

FantineAquane is a kind,curious,sociable,clueless,funny,sensitive girl.But instead she’s the revengeable and up raged girl as someone who insulted her as a prostitude and insulting her friends.She kinda bitchy as she loves the lust and sexual things.But it doesn’t mean she’s an idiot and prideless person.She wants to be a hopeful person who saves the suvivors from death.She can knows someone secret only a sight.

AUGH. This is pure word vomit. Gibberish. Nonsense. Whatever you want to call it. What the shiny mystical hell am I looking at?! None of these line up! This is complete nonsense! It’s like the creator just slapped all these personality things on without thinking about how they work together, or in this case, don’t!

And... “ She can knows someone secret only a sight. “

Oh god... is she a mind reader? PLEASE do not be a mind reader. I’m now actually scared to read through this more...

Super High School Level Secret

Super High School Level Hope (Her dream to protect the innocents)

Super High School Level Tackler

Super High School Level Fate

I should have known better than to wish for things. I have no goddamn words for this. This is in no way feasibly possible. I’m almost tempted to give up right here.

WHY is she the SHSL Hope?! Nothing we’ve seen here shows that she is a candidate! What the hell is Tackler? Secret? Fate?! These talents are an absolute disaster.

♢ Possible Execution ::

Gangbang Or Reveal Her Secret Until Death(Insane Diary)

I AM VERY TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK. DEATH BY GANGBANG?! SERIOUSLY?! WHY?!

Get me. The hell. Out of here. Insane Diary-whatever, how does that kill her? How does any of this work? I’m not talking about this further, I need to get out of this so I can get through the rest of this. This is the worst execution concept I have EVER seen.

FantineAquane was an orphan since she was a baby.In her surrounding,she become one of the insulted person in the homeless city.She been pedofilia with some citizens as her attraction makes all the men want to sex with her.All the fate has been changed as one city was ruined and rule by Super High School Level Despair.As she know the person who ruined all people lives,she attend the Hope Peak’s Private Academy as she wanna to prove that insulted person can help this city and ruined or realise all the Super High School Level Despair’s members.Without any letter that she needs to be that school student,she makes a bargain with Monokuma as she need to save the world with HOPE or die in DESPAIR.

WHAT THE HELLLLL

THIS IS JUST AIFURYEIULKEYHRLIUHE NOOOOO

I... I have no words. This so. BLATANTLY. Defiles canon that I feel like this person tried to rip Danganronpa off to make their own story.

And what the shit? I’m sorry, but this girl is not that attractive. Not nearly enough for “all the men” to want “to sex with her”. What the hell. This backstory is a mess. How can she attend Hope’s Peak without an invitation? HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE IN THE POST-DESPAIR WORLD?! How is she not batshit insane?! Most people like her would be dead or have already fallen to despair by the time the first game takes place! And how-- How did Monokuma not let her in without wiping her memories first? What the hell is this?! Why is she trying to be the protagonist?! At least it potentially explains her horrendous choice of clothing...

I’m not even going to talk about this more. This is just a disaster and makes me want to get through this even further so I can scrub this OC from my brain.

♢ Likes :

Sex,electronic items,helping people,socials,solving clues,willing to friends someone,Yaoi

SELF INSERT SPOTTED, SELF INSERT SPOTTED!

No, seriously, whenever an OC has ‘yaoi’ in their likes, I default to Self Insert. And the creator legitimately put THIS in their profile. “Pro in Doujinshi,Hentai & Yaoi“ So... Fantine over here is a self insert on top of all of this.

Back to the actual review... yeah, if she was forced into prostitution, I have a feeling she wouldn’t actually like sex all that much, especially if she’d been forced into it from a young age. I don’t have much comment on the rest, as FINALLY something lines up with the rest of her.

♢ Dislikes ::

Being insulted,Having sex without taking permission to her,Being advice about her clothes,up of rage,her secret has been revealled

Welp, we’re back to impossible grammar. Semi-readable was good while it lasted, I suppose. The hell does “up of rage” mean?

Also, nonconsensual sex being in the dislikes makes sense, but... why not just bring normal sex over too? And what’s her “secret”? That she used to be a prostitute?

Aaand she doesn’t like criticism on her clothes. Lady, you’re wearing something that would get you kicked out of half the places I can name.

♢ Friends ::

Best friend:Nagito Komaeda,Aoi Asahina,Alter Ego,Leon Kuwata,Makoto Naegi,Sakura Oogami,

GODDAMMIT SHE’S A SEVENTEENTH STUDENT. AND HAS PROTAGONIST SYNDROME. Also, why is Nagito top of the list? He joined SHSL Despair. And she’s supposedly fighting despair. God damn, Fantine.

And I’m pretty sure NONE of these people would want to be around her, except maybe Makoto because he’s a nice person and would feel bad for her.

Friends:Souda Kazuichi,Gundam Tanaka,Hagakure Yasuhiro,Hifumi Yamada

Why is she friends with Hifumi? Oh, right, she’s a fujoshi. And I don’t think any of THESE people would want to be around her either. Ewwww.

Crush On:Chihiro Fujisaki,Alter Ego,

God damn. I think this chick would scare Chihiro more than she’d actually be a potential romantic partner. She’s like Chihiro’s total opposite, and no, opposites attract isn’t a thing here.

And is she using Alter Ego as a substitute after Chihiro dies? Not exactly unexpected...

Enemies:Monokuma,Junko Enoshima

Boriiiiiiiing. Generic good guy stuff. Because of course the bootleg SHSL Hope hates Despair. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt-- Wait, how would she know Junko was behind this? Did she somehow manage to not get herself murdered or executed? Ugh.

♢ Quotes ::

“Don’t judge the book by it’s cover”

“You have to kidding me?”

“Although all of you loves to insulting me,it doesn’t mean I been insulted.But you all gimme a great support”

“Don’t kill all these innocence suvivors except me!”

“You’re got it wrong”

“Monokuma,I challenge you for a fight between HOPE & DESPAIR”

“Although they’re diffent in executions or death,their hope is to kill and put you all in the hell!”

“Although I’m atheast,it doesn’t means I disrespect all others religions,especially Islam”

That grammar is back! How do you mess up the iconic quote?! How has she challenged Monokuma like that without dying?! How can she handle others insulting her like that even though she clearly dislikes it? What the hell is going on here? Well... She’s got a poor judge of character, because she’s saying all the killers’ intentions was to damn everyone else. Nope. Not true.

And that last quote seems a little out of place. I’m gonna assume it connects to the creator in some way.

Final Verdict

Unsalvageable.

I’m (not) sorry to say this, but FantineAquane, the SHSL Secret, is UNSALVAGEABLE. There’s just too much wrong with her to be considered remotely salvageable, and it’s better off to just scrap her and start from the beginning. This OC was a disaster from beginning to end.

#neosaysno #that's not a name #that grammar #word vomit #what's dress code?#put some god dang clothing on #impossible talent #no no no no #impossible backstory #2muchangst #canon defilement #self insert #self contradictory #seventeenth student #protagonist syndrome #generic good guy #unsalvageable #danganronpa #mod neo

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catvicddlm · 5 years ago

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Grenetine D’Chessur

(Riku: So, yeah, as this blog deputy, it’s my job to introduce this girls to their respective fandom... Sorry for those who may find me unbearable, but this is how the blog works. Anyway, since D’Chessur here is the one who has the most complete paperwork, she’ll be first)

Name: Grenetine Dioica D'Chessur Manjary (though she mostly goes by Grenetine D’Chessur)

(Riku: Thankfully)

Name Meaning: Grenetine comes from grenetina (Gelatin). Dioica is meant to be the Pimenta dioica (Allspice). Manjary= Mangiare (Italian)= Eat.

(Riku: What does D’Chessur stand for?)

(Grenetine: I thought it was obvious)

(Riku: Well, no)

(Grenetine: Then we’ll leave it for them to investigate!)

Nicknames:

Greenie (family and Dahlia)

My Lady (Jolly and servants)

Strawberry Shortcake (Mudira)

Heartslabyul's Little Duchess or the Little Duchess (Reappina, Suha and several others)

(Riku: How original...)

(Grenetine: In my defense, you don’t get to chose how others nickname you)

Twisted from: The Duchess (Alice in Wonderland)

Affiliations:

D’Chessur family

Manjary family

Lilyaceae family

Night Raven Collage

Heartslabyul Dorm

Dormitory: Heartslabyul

Year: 2nd

Age: 17

Birthday: October 6th

Likes: Sweet treats, savoury foods, literature: poetry, novels, etc, puns, puzzles, getting references.

Dislikes: Bland foods, the noble court, people messing with her things, open endings, being called pig, being mocked for the curse.

Hobbies: Reading (especially mystery), writing in her diary, baking, playing the violin and the piano, gardening, anti-stalking: learning about other persons routine to avoid them (guess why)

(Riku: You need more original hobbies)

(Grenetine: And do you have better hobbies?)

(Riku: Touche)

Occupation:

Student

Competition judge (informal)

County heiress

Personality:

Most of the time she’s a calm person that tries to be polite as much as she can. Truth be told, most of the time she comes off as rude. This is because most people only deal with her in class wich is...not the best. Grenetine is the type of person that thinks that is crucial for one to make things by themselves. So she not only rathers to work alone but also doesn’t offers a lot of help. She also is the type that takes very seriously responsabilities and duties... and she will always insist on them. She has a really strong determination. Always keeping a regal like posture.

The only exception is if she notices that the others are hopeless, in wich she’ll be more sweeter and helpful. Right now she has a soft spot for the “poor things” that are the Heartslabyul first years.

Those who talk to her outside academic situations see a different side: a more laidback girl who likes to have really long talks about anything. Some are even surprised of how easily she can change the topics. They also notice how she overanalyzes everything and how much she mutters. She’s a much more curious person and is willing to more things. This doesn’t mean she’ll do anything, she quickly realises when they are trying to take advantage of her.

Again, this is not easy to reach, so many consider appeal to the “duchess” as a last resort. This plus her cute looks gained her certain fame.

Alligment: Lawful Neutral

Skills:

Disappearance and appearance.

Hide presence and amplify presence.

Stunner spells.

Transformation spells.

Weapon summoning: The Pepper Grinder. This weapon has two forms: a hidden form that looks like a key and the other, the true form, a pepper grinder shaped gun. It also has three modes:

Non-lethal: the target weakens phisically but the proyectiles don’t actually harm them (they do hurt though)

Magic piercer: affects only to magical manifestations (force fields, magic levels, enchanted objects, etc). Magical beings can be harmed.

Lethal: self explanatory. Acts like a normal weapon but magical.

(Riku: I just checked a picture of this...You have a fucking machine gun?!)

(Grenetine: It is not a machine gun)

(Riku: It looks like a machine gun, it behaves like a machine gun, IT’S A FUCKING MACHINE GUN! How are you even allowed to summon this?!)

(Grenetine: A lady has her secrets)

Backstory:

Grenetine was born as the second child from the duke D'Chessur and a noble lady from the infamous Manjary family. They have curse wich would turn them into pigs at some point of their life. Grenetine and her siblings knew from an early age what was coming for them as a lot of nobles excluded them, sometimes outright mocked, for “ruining” their family. She was the biggest target as she was the one that more resembled their mother (and also was very fat).

Out of all her siblings, she was also the one that showed more magical potencial and more learning capacity. She was a very lonely child so she spent the time reading and developing a more analytical mind.

One day, her grandmother, the last of the Lilyaceae line, decided to educate her to make her the heir to her county. During this time, Grenetine got fed up of the humilliations and decided to end the curse that ruined her life.

She, along with her father, spent years finding several clues of the curse’s origins. Then, they discovered that all of them lead to Night Raven College. So when she recived an invitation from the institution, she didn’t think it twice.

Theme song: “Fairytale”- Alexander Rybak

Relationships within the dormitory:

Riddle: It’s complicated. He doesn’t like her very much due her noble status, but at the same time, he kinda wants the approval of an actual noble. He’s also annoyed by the fact that she spends zero time at the dorm yet somehow became quite popular. On the other hand, she avoids him as much as she can. She thinks he hates her guts and it reminds her too much to the court at home. Still tries to please him, she has better thing to do than to face the leader’s wrath.

Ace: Not friends but not total strangers. He likes her better when she’s sweet and willing to help, especially on school problems. She thinks he’s quite likable but doesn’t trust him too much. They usually have long conversations.

Deuce: Similar to Ace’s. They do bond a lot more due their similar interests. He’s impressed by her and is very curious about the whole curse investigation. She also prefers her on her sweeter side but understands and respects her work mood. This is why Grenetine prefers him a little more over Ace.

Trey: Just like the rest of the dorm, Grenetine trusts Trey as a deputy. Surprisingly, he seems to prefer her more serious side, as she’s one of the few that can get work done right. However, they do clash a lot, mostly due to her “stay out of the dorm troubles” policy. He’s one of the responsable to drag her back.

Cater: Also complicated. Cater likes to tease her everytime he gets the chance, wich she dislikes. Nevertheless, they actually enjoy each other company, as they surprisingly discuss more mature themes. Grenetine considers their interactions as necessary break. She allows herself to be sarcastic and intentionally rude with him. Along with Trey, Cater is the other responsable for bringing her back.

Jolly: Her cat companion, her family adopted him along with his siblings when Grenetine found the abandoned as kittens. Jolly is more than a mere pet for her, is a dear friend. She’ll constantly demand respect for him. She’s one of the few people who Jolly likes to talk to as she likes to listen him.

Relationships outside the dormitory:

Dahlia (another OC): They are bests friends. They met due to a similar interest in flowers and haven’t separated since then. Dahlia is one of the few who can influence her and usually dissuades her from her more unhealthy habits. Grenetine is one of the few who knows Dahlia’s complete backstory.

Idia: Even less than acquaintances. Since she’s friends with Dahlia, she has spent a lot of time at Ignihyde. He kinda reminds her of her older brother in personality. He thinks she talks too much but sometimes makes very interesting questions.

Chausiku (another OC): Not really friends but they get along and hang a lot together. Chausiku likes that Grenetine isn’t a princess like girl or a rich spoiled brat. Grenetine admires her determination but doesn’t share her goals. She also kinda wishes to have Chausiku’s imposing presence.

Ruggie: They have a relationship totally based on favors (Grenetine pays him to do some simple jobs for her, usually in form of either money or baked pastries). On ocasions, they have worked together to keep order. They interact mostly through Chausiku. Ruggie is actually disgusted of how insanely rich her family is, but doesn’t reject being paid. She thinks he’s competent enough and a little greedy but doesn’t blame him for that.

The Tension Quartet (again, OCs): Grenetine serves as some kind of judge for them. This often translates to keep them out of trouble. Even though they hang a lot, she mostly keeps herself professional.

(Riku: Take a shot for everytime “one of the...” appears.)

Phrase: "You can't spend a day doing nothing! There's always something to do"

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #grenetine d'chessur

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ren-akimiya · 6 years ago

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Stalker Metamorphosis

I walked into my office with a crime investigation folder in my arms. After a long chase, we finally put that psychopath behind bars. However, despite knowing that she can get sentenced for her entire life, or put in an asylum, she didn't resist much. Or maybe not at all. She simply put everything in her hands down on the floor as we pointed guns at her. And those eyes... just staring into the abyss of nothingness. It was rather creepy. I have seen similar eyes on victims of homicide. Shock and extreme trauma cause it most of the time. It felt like... she was a completely different person from what we were expecting. She had a diary with her. I know it is rude for one to read a complete stranger's diary, however, I am really interested in what can be in it. Wacos like her usually write interesting and creepy shit, and I always loved horror as a genre in almost everything. Games, movies, books... let the genre be horror, and I always gave it a try. The chills running down my spine, before a good scare or when an eerie music began to play in the background, brought a sense of euphoria as well. Sometimes an effective jumpscare filled my mind with ecstasy as well however it always felt cheap on the long term. Guilty pleasure what I call it. Maybe I sound creepy, but tell you what, I am a genuine and cool guy. Sometimes a little bit too passive.

I put down the folder on the closer end of the desk and jumped into my chair. The diary was inside my pocket, ever since the arrest so I did not need to take it away from the evidence safe. There is a smaller chance I get discovered this way. Holding back evidences can put me into every kind of trouble however curiosity got the better of me. I guess there is no turning back at this point. My fingers slip under the cover and with a steady motion towards myself, I opened it on the first page. As expected, nothing was on the first page. Why the hell did I even open on it. Turning on the next page revealed what I was looking for. The handwriting was pretty and organized. It was odd from a sort of artist as far as I know. Or maybe I am just generalizing.

Entry 1:

Dear Diary,

I’m happy I’m starting you.

Well, my psychiatrist suggested writing a diary so that I clear up my mind from all the things happened to me. I am not entirely sure though what he was referring to...

He was asking questions about what was the last thing I remember before I fell into a coma. I had a really hard time answering them. Until my CT scan doesn't come back to him I am restricted of using anything electronic since it can worsen the possible damages in my brain. Better safe than sorry I guess. However, he recommended me to write a diary or some sort to clean my head from the cloud that blocks my thoughts and help me remember certain scenes. I have no idea why he wants me to do that. Did I see a wanted criminal or something that bad happened they need to catch someone? I think it is better for me to pull myself out from the case entirely. I don't want any other trouble in my life I already have. Speaking of problems, ever since I got back to my senses I can't shake this odd feeling off of me that someone or something is watching me from behind. I also happen to catch glimpses of it on my horizon but never too close to identify it...

Sound and feels pretty unnerving if you ask me knowing someone is watching me maybe going to do something to me… I just hope nothing happens and I am just imagining things.

Oh well, this all that I wanted to write down for this day. Wow writing my thoughts down to you is pretty fun as well. I might develop a habit out of this. I feel so old school right now...oh well I hope I write down on you soon.

From, Naomi

I put the diary down on the wooden table, under the light of my desk lamp then crossing my fingers in front of my head and resting it. Thoughts rush through every synapse of my brain, piecing together the unnecessary info and the already known facts about the caught girl. No motive or possible explanation in this entry…

Reaching down under the paper again, I turned the page to reveal the next entry in the strange diary

Entry 2:

Dear Diary,

Finally, back at school. I was worried that I would fall behind my studies and fail, after working so hard for getting mom and dad’s approval to get in this college. I cannot let my hopes and dreams shatter just because of this little coma. I know they can’t make huge exceptions like letting me pass all the test. I would not want it either. I would just pull more unnecessary attention on me. I don’t want that…. I don’t want to be noticed anymore...Please just leave me alone...Not anymore...I think I uncovered the secret that lying that certain night’s shadows...

It looks like the entry ends here. The part with the dots appears to be less organized and more like scribbles. The psychology book about handwriting would say that the person who wrote this was in fear. The strokes of the pen suggest that the writer’s hand was shaking while writing. I bit down on my finger, ripping of a small fragment of my skin chewing them into softer dusty matter then swallowed it. A really bad habit of mine. I start doing this thing when I feel excited or I am bored. Few of my colleagues who I am friends with said that I should try dropping this childish habit, since they and science says that removing your skin causes bacteria to invade your body. Are they thinking that I am some kind of idiot? I am fully aware of that fact. I just can’t help it…

Shaking my head, I turn a few more pages only running through the lines with my eyes. Nothing really interesting except this shadow figure that entry 7 describes. I stopped scrolling to put on under my metaphoric magnifying glass.

Entry 7:

The shadow person is getting more and closer with each passing day. This goddamn faceless figure. I think it resembles a huge figure. Mostly humanoid in shape however it keeps on warping and warping sometimes. And not just that but I think I began hallucinating even weirder shit. Sometimes when I turn on a corner, everyone disappears from this city. It becomes abandoned. I roam the empty streets for a while, begging to find someone with me without any luck whatsoever. When I snap back to reality I am usually at the same spot where this hallucination started. Yes, I classify them as hallucination since I see them clearly but no one else does. I never move from my original spot either. What else could it be? Exactly, nothing else, other than a hallucination.

I heard about killings taking place in the city more and more frequently. Coincidentally, my hallucinations became more common and longer. What if...these two things are linked somehow…

The entry ends here. The author noticeably became more frustrated than ever. Organized writing and structure were thrown out of the window at this point. Her fear emitted from her writings, like a sinister miasma choking me. Chills ran down on my spine while reading the entry. This is what I was waiting for. Excitement. From the very moment I first averted my gaze at her broken facial expression and empty emerald green eyes I knew I was in for some exciting events.

My pupils filled most of my eyes, pushing out my iris to the outer rim of the inner ring and every single hair on my arms stood on their edge. I could not wait even a millisecond and turned to the final page. The entry was this:

Entry 13:

Dear Diary,

I was really glad to start you so I could talk about this dark secret with you. Dark secret... sounds pretty cliché if you ask me. I am finally putting together the pieces of the puzzle. The meaning behind this hallucination, the Shadow Being and the genocides occurring across the city. Meaning? What the fuck am I even trying to say. There is no meaning to anything what am I doing. I don’t even know why am I hallucinating. Maybe I am just simply going nuts. These medications that the doctor gave to me have no goddamn use.

I hear him telling things to me. I don’t know what, but I am certain that he is talking to me in a strange language. I can’t even think it is human language… He is getting closer to me. One night I woke up to him staring at me, just a couple inches away from my face but when I blinked, he was gone in an instant. Why am I referring to that thing as a “he”? It is something beyond human knowledge. A malevolent beast that wants nothing else just to take people away and murdering them in unspeakable ways. Or maybe this is just all in my head…

Never mind... Nothing matters anymore. Whatever that thing is, imaginary or real, I am giving myself up to it. I am tired of running…

Thank you, my dear Diary. You were a wonderful companion throughout this journey.

I closed the small journal and put it back on my table. Averting my gaze at the case folder on the very edge of my desk, I pulled it under the yellow light of the desk lamp. The newly gained information fit right into the missing spots of the case’s jigsaw puzzle. Though the case was solved as soon as we caught the poor thing in the forest. She made a shelter there to keep herself from hurting more people. Her final acts are worthy of acknowledgment, as Naomi, however, it will not erase the fact that she killed people.

I let out a long sigh then got back up from the comfortable hold of the leather chair and I left my office with the journal in the pocket of my coat. The rain was pouring from the sky so for the distance between the door of the building and my car, I opened my umbrella. If I am correct, she must be in jail still. I don’t remember the chief talking about transferring her to an asylum or prison. Starting the engine, I drove down in the dim lit road towards the district’s police station. The words from the diary formed images in my head, flashing into my mind like lightning. For some reason, I felt myself more and more agitated with each passing street light as the distance between me and the complicated serial killer lessened. Pain stung into my stomach like a tiny blade and my arms became shaky again. I have not felt like this ever since my first case. Adrenaline rushed through my veins and my heavy feet pushed down on the gas pedal ever so slightly. The engine roared up and the mechanical beast that I was sitting in almost muting the popping sound that the rain gave as each drop landed on the windshield. The adrenaline rush got the better of me until another traffic light put me to a halt by changing to red. It was strange that only the final light gave me a red signal. All other were green or just changed to green like some strange coincidence. And only the final one stopped me, for the better. I would have been sent to the afterlife by the coming truck with a frontal collision. most likely sending my body flying across the windshield or the breaking glass piercing through my skull.

As the light switched to green I took the final turn to the police station. It was technically closed by this time of the day, however, there were always a few officers who were on nightshift to look out for the ones locked up and to answer possible calls. Rushing inside the station from the rain, the officers looked at me dumbfounded.

I asked where can I find the girl that we took in a couple of hours ago. They looked at each other, dumbfounded by my request then one sighed and took me to the cells in the room that opened from the very back of the building. I told him that I would want some alone time with her, to that he widened his gaze then shrugged, leaving the room. I venture forward to the only cell that held someone captive. There she was, sitting by the wall, looking downwards at the floor, or at her feet. Her hair, a brown and semi-short mess. The body was still covered in dirt and her clothes were tattered and torn. When she heard my steps getting louder she raised her head up from between her knees and looked into my eyes. The same soulless eyes I have seen when we caught her. Her huge pupils, trying to focus onto mine, as her emerald iris was only visible on the very outer rim of the central ring. It was like she was in some sort of trance.

Sighing, I pulled the journal out from my pocket and giving it a push, I slid it to her. To this it looked like, life went back into her. Reaching out to it with shaky hands, she lifted it up and held it close to her chest. A gentle smile curved onto my face then took a few steps backward.

“So you have read it. But why?” she asked, in an extremely low tone. It was like she was whispering. My answer was presented to her with a sigh.

“No particular reason. I thought that a psycho’s diary would hold many horrors, waiting to be uncovered. And it looks like I was right.”

She responded with an “Oh,” then looked back down on the floor.

“But why did you bring the diary back to me? It makes no sense…” she said. And that struck me. I had no answer to this question. Possible answers raced through my mind like cars, however, neither of them would have done any good. I was wondering if I would be able to chat with the other one inside her. The so-called Shadow Person, however, it was a fact that bringing her out would only do harm to her. I already broke a few unwritten regulations of mine with bringing the diary back to her. It was time for me to leave, so I left her with the question, hanging unanswered.

On the way back home, in my rear-view mirror, I noticed something. I adjusted it a little bit to gain a better sight on it. Something that I should not be able to see. It looked like a hole anomaly in space, warping and changing into... into a humanoid shape.

#creepypasta #horror #thriller #first person view #psychological #spooky #tie in #short story #crime

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sunset-wishes-upon-hill · 8 years ago

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Hwa Byung (Anger Disease) (Kuroshitsuji- Yuri Park)

Spin-off to The Liars and Soothsayer: FF

A/N: For those who have read the most recent chapter (chapter 4), there was a brief explanation to Yuri’s anger. Well, here’s the reason why.

Hwa Byung meaning

She liked to believe that although she wasn’t perfect, she had what people would say more good than bad in her. She wasn’t always kind or good, or bothered, or selfless, or nurturing but she was most of those for the most of the time. She tried not to intentionally hurt or hate someone or judge until she walked a league in their shoes and even then she was the type of person to give them as many and much chances they needed. She’s a good person. A kind person. A loving person.

Her most notable flow was her exploding temper. It wasn’t that she lost her temper so easily or it was easy to rile her up, no, her ugly side was generally reserved for her…dad. Yuri had difficulty saying the word ‘dad’. It wasn’t physical thing per se; it was more of psychological hold of what a ‘dad’ meant to her that prevented her from fully embracing the word. In front of others, she’d refer him as dad to prevent any unwanted probing from her friends. She was a good listener and a good advisor; heavy on the secret and detached from pre-conceived judgement, but she held tight to her own skeleton, pushing it further and further back to the cobwebbed closet where it’ll burst out once in a while in the presence of the trigger that was him.

They say a family was someone who’d stand by your side even when the whole world pointed fingers at you. They say the most important thing for the parents is one’s child. If a knife is coming towards the child, they carry them on their back to run. If a bullet is coming after them, the parents carry them in front to run. Yuri could apply that to her mum, but she doubted with her dad.

Saying the word ‘dad’ brought out an interesting response within her. Her tongue would get tied and twisted; she’d stutter; she’d hesitated and sometimes she’d flinch as though the word gnawed at her.

She don’t know how it feels to hate someone and she don’t know how she could describe those emotions with words what it feels like someone but she guessed how she felt toward her dad was what hating someone in a pure sense felt like; but the feeling, she found out, seemed to follow some sort of twisted version of five stages of grief. While looking through her old childhood memoirs, she discovered an old journal. It had The Hello Kitty Girls on the cover with lock pad protecting its content. Beside the diary, she found the key. Inside some pages where she had been practicing fancy cursive, her young self had written with messy, almost incoherent way: “He’ll realise.” And “Things will become better.” It clearly bothered her then about the way he did things.

Her dad racked up debt faster than a BARC driver at Silverstone, and he could never get his spending habits in check. Even if she was young, just as one can spot the indicators of stroke trouble, there were plenty of signs something was wrong. He’d split payments of his credit card bills in minimally possible amount each month, he’d use cash advances on one card to make payment on another, he’d always be on phone asking to borrow money from his friends and family, he’d always complain to her mum how he was always strapped for cash as his own way of asking her if she had any. He constantly worried about how he would scrape together enough money to pay his bills. He’d always complain yet as soon as he had his hands on whatever money he could get, he’d go on his habitual grocery shopping spree.

As soon as she was old enough, old enough to make bank account in her name, his attention shifted toward her. By that time, her and her brother’s saving has already been drained; her mum’s credit rating was rock bottom from putting everything under her name due to his ineligible for anything; they’ve been evicted several times before managing to settle in a much smaller house at the cheap area in outer London that was New Malden. She’d gotten a part time job as a waitress in a restaurant when she was sixteen and her driver’s license at seventeen. When she hit eighteen, she got credit cards and converted her bank account into student account with interest free overdraft to help out her mum. Even though she tried to hide her trails, he had somehow found out about her credit cards and interest overdraft. Now it was her turn.

At first, she helped him. When he asked to borrow, she didn’t ask any question, because she knew it was difficult time for him – for all of them – and she could see he was ‘trying his best’. Then she realised no matter how much money she or her brother or her mum lend him, nothing was being solved. The bills were constantly unpaid, the rent was unpaid, taxes unpaid, she didn’t know where all the money was going. She began lashing out at him, gone was her respect toward him as an adult or a father or a provider. She didn’t bother to hide her contempt and bitterness toward him, degrading him whenever she could. She shouted at him, hoping he’d come to his senses and ‘grow up’. She tried to have him come to open about the debt he has other than what was on the paper. She tried to help him, give him advises, begging him to listen to her or her mum for once in his life but he’d become more angrier than them, acting as if he were the victim of trying one’s best and inevitable failure. Saying how she didn’t know what was going on when she, whenever they call up any places, she had to speak to them on behalf of her parents who weren’t as fluent in English as she or her brother was. She resented how short cut her childhood has been. A twelve years old shouldn’t have known what bailiff were, shouldn’t know how tax worked or how monthly instalment worked. She’d have the rest of her adult life to live with that. But she’s been living with it for so long.

It hurt her. If she hated her dad, that hate hurt her back. And that pain dug through her skin right to the bottom of her heart. It wasn’t long until she realised he wouldn’t change. He’d never change. He couldn’t. She or her mum couldn’t raise him; he’s already grown and no one could change a man if he didn’t want to.

She avoided talking to him or interacting with him than necessary around others and even then she refused to call him ‘dad’. She blocked and deleted his number in her phone. If she saw him in the street, she’d play a stranger. It’d gotten to the point she ignored and refused to talk to him even within the house and if she did, it was usually when her temper came out. She had gotten quite good at cursing thanks to that. Oh, and her throwing skills definitely improved as well.

She was more wary with money now. She became more frugal with her expanses. Like walking because commuting in and out of London was expensive enough, the buses were luxury. Buying food was expensive so she’d pack sandwich and if she forgot to bring her food, then she opted to bear until she got home and lunch and dinner together. She tried to eat as little as possible in a day to prolong shopping for food a bit longer. She’s only been to shopping probably about ten times in her life, preferring to wear what was in her closet until it either ripped or wore out. All thanks to him she learnt valuable lessons in life.

She couldn’t wait until she went to university and graduate and get a job so she can get a small apartment for herself. She hopes he comes looking for her just so she can turn him away. Sometimes, she wished she could travel like those beautiful girls with their boyfriend but she didn’t have time for that. She studied until she passed out when her friends dated; worked night shifts when her other friends were out partying although she made exceptions for their birthdays; seldom went out for a movie and ordered the most affordable food in restaurant. If anyone asked if she regretted not doing what other girls her age were doing, she’d say no. You can’t miss what you never felt. Playing? Love? Clothes shopping? That was a luxury she couldn’t afford. What could have been spent on those, she could have helped her mum, who was always struggling to keep things afloat, to help repay the debt he left in his trails while he went and made more mess.

Sometimes she hated how her mum decided to stay with him instead of leaving him. Maybe she was just ‘comfortable’ in where they were. Maybe she wanted to but she stayed for their sake. Her and her brother already told her they felt nothing for the man who was their ‘father’; her decision’s to leave him won’t be a big deal for them – much more so now that they’ve grown up.

Hating her deadbeat dad was like hating a part of herself – it is the culmination of the most desperate form of loss and detachment that came from a broken relation with what should be a loving, nurturing and secure relationship. Hating her dad was longing for the condition of joy and happiness that you see in others and anger that she was robbed of it. It ate her away with all the self-doubt, self-blame, self-loathing and seeing in herself all the qualities she hated in him, and she hated him more for that – for breaking her. Now she felt nothing for him. Maybe this was what a real hate felt like. Nothing. Whether they live or die, became something or nothing, no absolute emotions about them. She was sure if he was hanging by the cliff about to fall; she’d look, then turn around and walk away, not looking back. Not even once.

She hoped she didn’t go down the cliché root of daddy issue path. She hoped she never have the misfortune of coming across a man like him. She hoped to never fall in love.

Her journal was etched with pain, denial and conflicting emotions she felt for him. It clearly bothered her then. Even though she don’t care now. It impacted her in such an angry and ugly way. But maybe, it also impacted her in a way that she’s yet to discover.

“Even though I am not young, I have lived inside a prison I created. “I won’t marry a man like my dad.” I had many thoughts along that line. On his deathbed, my dad said something he never said before, ‘I’m sorry and I love you, my daughter’. My hate for him disappeared. I wished he had said those words earlier. Even parents need to put down their pride and apologise for their wrong doing so that children can break free from painful memories.” – A family friend, whose Yuri’s backstory is based on.

#the liars and soothsayer #spin-off #spin off #yuri park #kuroshitsuji #black butler

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whatdoyouthinkmyjobis · 8 years ago

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Hunters on the Hellmouth

masterlist

first chapter

previous chapter

Warnings: discussion of suicide

AN: Inspired by BTVS 7.07 “Conversations with Dead People.” It’s the first week of December, about three weeks after chapter 22, a few days after GND9.

Chapter 23: Behind the Curtain

Months of researching other dimensions had yielded nothing on how the Winchesters had arrived in Sunnydale or if they could get back, so Sam turned to researching everything else about the world they knew versus the world they were now living in. He’d come up with vessels, or more accurately, a lack of vessels.

Over breakfast he explained, “No one’s been possessed here. (Maybe Willow, but we can’t know.) People have been remotely controlled like I was by the Luxic demon, but not outright possessed. But demons live in vampires. So maybe there’s something about human souls here that just naturally keep the demons out.”

“Or the demons are too big and horny to get in people.” Dean chuckled to himself muttering, Horny.

Excited, Sam pushed his food to the side and leaned over the table. “But get this, there’s almost no record of vessels. No one has encountered angels, so maybe there aren’t any people here who can host them. Maybe that’s why you and I are verging on the edge of super powered here.”

“Okay, I’ll ride the crazy train,” Dean said around a mouthful of bacon. “You said almost no record. What kind of vessels are there?”

“Vampires, at least. It looks like demons can’t get in a body unless it’s dead, but there have to be more, right? I found a book in Greek that roughly translates to Vessels on Earth. It’s part of a collection of rare occult texts in Mesa, Arizona. I’m thinking we can go right after work, grab a motel for the night, and we’ll be home by dinner the next day. Just like old times.”

Sam considered this the whitest of lies. He did know about one other type of vessel in this world: The Slayer.

In his research, Sam had tripped across the Slayer origin story. A young girl tied down by her tribe’s elders -- Shadow Men -- and filled with “the essence of a demon” in order to fight the demons plaguing them.

The story didn’t add up. Details were sketchy at best; the tale predated writing. How could possessing a girl with a demon possibly be helpful? Why would the demon turn on its own kind? Then there was the fact that Buffy, the current carrier of this demon essence, bore none of the signs of demon possession.

Hopefully, Arizona held some answers.

Mustard, spaghetti sauce, milk, and one serving of broccoli rice. "I don't feel Iron Chef enough to work with this," Buffy said.

“Pizza?" Willow suggested.

"Dawn is, like, ninety percent pizza at this point. It's to the store with us."

Wrapping up in their coats and hats, the girls headed into town. "Occasionally, I regret selling the Geekmobile. It’s like my summer brain blocked winter out completely."

"When are the guys coming back?” Willow asked.

Buffy sighed at the reminder she’d be spending the night alone. “They should be back tomorrow. Sam couldn’t get a lot of time off.”

The pain of separation must have shown on her face. Willow grabbed Buffy’s hand, her eyes soft and concerned. “I can cancel my plans. We can watch something funny, zany even.”

Buffy shook her head. “It’s one day. I’ll be fine. What are your big sparkly plans tonight?”

“Big sparkly library. I’m almost finished with my notes for my Art History paper, then I can start the fun paper-writing part,” she said enthusiastically. “I know I’ve checked all the books for references to ‘It is watching,’ but I may give them another look. It-ness is just so vague. I prefer the vain evils that like their names in lights.”

“Good, that’ll add some bupkis to the bupkis we know.”

“I can be your bupkis supplier.” Willow paused. “That sounded dirtier than I wanted it to.”

“Unintentionally dirty Willow is welcome any time,” Buffy said with a grin.

“Speaking of welcome and maybe dirty, I forgot to tell you about this crazy -- well, not actually crazy considering this is Sunnydale, but still loopy for me -- thing that happened last week. I was studying out in the commons between classes, and this girl walked up to me. She had this cute blonde pixie and a nose ring that I also weirdly liked. Anyway, we chatted about classes, and she gave me her number. You know what I told her, Buffy? I said, ‘I don’t need a study buddy. We’re not the same major.’ Smooth, right? It wasn’t until after she left with this hurt puppy look on her face that I even realized she was hitting on me. It’s been so long, I forgot what it was like.”

“What was it like? In the feels department, I mean.”

“It was great. Talking with her for a few minutes, I wasn’t thinking about Tara. I was thinking about me and the future of me. Of course later, I cried big ugly snot bubbles of shame over not thinking of Tara.”

“I don’t think Tara would want you to lock up your heart and hotness. You can love her forever, and still move on, snot bubble free. That’s kind of where Angel and I ended up.”

“Only Angel’s not dead. Well, he is, but he’s not and -- jeez, can’t you have uncomplicated relationships?”

“Doesn’t look like it. Dead or undead, you’ve taken some great baby steps, Will. Maybe the next step should be letting girls hit on you? How about we hit up The Bronze this weekend? Have some drinks. Get our dance on. You can practice flirting.”

“I was a little queasy when you said dancing, then you said flirting and lost me.”

“Girls’ night out it is!” Buffy said, squeezing her in a hug.

Willow was happy to spend an evening alone. The constant hustle and bustle of the house was like a warm blanket on a winter’s evening, but it was also a distraction. She still needed to head out into that storm. More like storms.

The prospect of a girl’s night out had her stomach in knots. She knew she needed to have fun more. Leave the house more. Engage more. But any form of healing felt like an unearned reward for her losing control. All of it felt like cheating on Tara.

Her second storm was Sam. Deep inside of sweet, nerdy Sam, something was wrong. Something was evil. When the pathway spell had failed, temporarily giving her insight into people, she could see a darkness swirling inside of him, tangled with the light. She didn’t think anything of it, after all, everyone’s insides looked a little different (except the matched set of Buffy and Dean), but then Spike showed up. Spike with his newly returned soul fighting with his demon passenger weirdly resembled what was in Sam.

Did he know? Willow had a million questions and theories about how this swirling darkness came to live in Sam, but she’d thought it best to poke around on her own before broaching the topic. Unfortunately, this new discovery had been quickly followed by Sam’s new relationship, so Willow rarely had the chance to do spells on the sly around him. He wasn’t charmed. He wasn’t cursed. He wasn’t controlled. So what was inside of Sam Winchester?

Sam was engrossed in one of the books they’d picked up, so Dean focused on the music pumping through the diner. Every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you.

The diner lights flickered.

Dean chuckled into his fries.

Sam looked up from his books. “Did I miss something?”

“The lights flickered.”

“So?”

“Exactly. Don’t mean anything.” Before Sunnydale, he’d have reached for his gun packed with iron-tipped bullets and grabbed the table salt. He’d have checked exits and looked for suspicious behavior in the other diners.

Not anymore. A flickering light was a flickering light.

Dean wiped his greasy fingers on a napkin before tossing the crumpled paper at his brother.

“Mature,” said Sam, tucking the projectile beside his plate.

“We getting a motel, or you wanna head back home an’ spend some real quality time with that book? Slow jams. Lube. Box of tissues.”

Sam gave Dean the exact tight-lipped bitch-face he was fishing for.

“Motel then?”

“You’re worried about her,” Sam said.

“Nah,” said Dean attempting to take a sip from his empty coffee cup.

“We can head back.”

Dean signaled the waitress. “Check?”

Having stayed late at school to work on a group project for History, Dawn was surprised to find the house dark on her return. There were two notes on the counter. At the library. Where else would I be? See you before bedtime, Dawnie! Love, Willow. The other one had ten dollars clipped to it. Not for pizza. -- Buffy.

Dawn ordered a pizza. If she was going to be the queen of the usually packed house for a few hours, she would do as she pleased. This involved blowing off the rest of her homework, listening to the pop station she secretly loved, and snooping in Buffy’s room for secrets and clothes she wouldn’t miss.

Dashing upstairs, she pulled out the drawers in Buffy’s night stand. When she was dating Riley, she’d kept her diary in there. For a mystically chosen superhero, Buffy’s diary was shockingly dull. Killed a vamp. Killed two vamps. Killed a demon. Kissed a boy. The boy parts were Dawn’s favorite.

Buffy must have found a better hiding spot. The only things in the drawers were stakes, knives, sticky bottles, handcuffs, candy wrappers, and a long purple...not stake?

Not candy wrappers either.

Dawn rushed to the bathroom to wash her hands in the hottest water she could stand.

Buffy’s night had been weird. At the checkout line at the grocery store, she’d discovered she had left her wallet at home. After running back home to leave something for Dawn, she staked two vamps before grabbing some fast food. To top it all off, she’d called Spike. She hadn't even noticed herself doing it until after she’d told him where she was patrolling.

Spike walked up to her, pretension stripped. He didn't saunter. Didn't prowl. “You and the missus need a hand?”

For the first time in weeks, only one vampire (that she knew of) was likely to rise that night. “No, I just wanted to see how you are with the hand and stuff.” She tried to sound light, as if they were meeting up for coffee.

“My hand?” He held up the completely healed appendage. “Weeks go by and you only talk to me to tell me where to be at night -- always conveniently far from you. I go. I patrol. I kick some ass, thank you very much. But days after the fact, you suddenly want to talk about my hand?” He looked at her, into her, opening all the doors and drawers she wanted closed. “Guessing lover boy is out of town.”

Buffy started walking toward a new grave hoping the shadows would hide her face. “I just wanted to check on you. You seem better.”

“I'm not.” Spike hadn’t followed her. He pulled the last cigarette from his pack at glared at her across the chasm of smoke. “I’m peachy. Tip top. Practically skipping on clouds. Does that make you feel better? Lessen the guilt?”

Buffy felt slapped in the face. “Guilt? What do I have to feel guilty about?”

A smirk verging on snarl curled across his lips before he turned away. “You called me, pet. In the future, don’t.”

Willow woke with a start, a note card stuck to her cheek. She scanned the stacks around her, hoping no one had witnessed DroolFest 2002. For the moment, she was in the clear.

If she hoped to get anywhere on the elusive It, she was going to need more caffeine. Shoving her notes in her bag and putting her books on the return cart, Willow headed out into the brisk night air.

She turned off the path to the coffee house. Near a small pond the school called a lake, stood a scraggly old magnolia tree. Tara dubbed it “the most majestic tree on campus,” which was saying something as she made a point of visiting them all.

Willow ran her fingers along the low branches, feeling Tara’s sweetness in the air.

“Baby, it’s me. I miss you.” For once, Willow could say the words without tearing up.

“I'm sorry I haven't tried talking to you. I've felt, I don't know, dirty? Ashamed. Not myself. Not your Willow. I think I'm getting better though.

“Is it beautiful where you are? Of course it is, you’re there. I, uh, I haven’t gotten less cheesy.” Not that Tara would have minded. She was always one to revel in gooey affection.

“It looks beautiful from here,” said a familiar voice. An impossible voice. There, on the other side of the tree, stood Tara.

For good measure, Dawn stuck her tongue out at Buffy’s cream lace blouse before shoving it back in the closet. The closet-cleaning a month before had turned Dawn’s second wardrobe into Dullsville.

Pushing aside a tote full of purses on the closet floor, she found a forgotten black miniskirt. Dawn wiggled out of her jeans to try on the new treasure, already preparing arguments as to why she should be allowed to wear miniskirts to school.

“She’s such a hypocrite,” Dawn complained to no one as she continued to dig around the mess on the closet floor.

The lights flickered with a slight buzz.

Dawn sat back on her haunches and peered at the light, daring it to interrupt her with anything remotely similar to a chore.

Grabbing a tiny navy thing, she bounded to the mirror to hold it up. “Dress or top? I vote dress.”

The mirror cracked; blood streamed from the cracks and across her reflection.

Dawn grabbed a small dagger from the dresser and ran downstairs.

The front door blew open in front of her. Wind howled into the house though no trees moved outside. Dawn threw her weight into the door, eventually closing it.

Her heart pounded as the lights flickered again. She grabbed the phone in the kitchen and called Buffy. It rang without answer.

The back door creaked open. Dawn slammed it shut and shoved a chair in front of it.

Was something trying to force her outside? Just beyond the light of the windows, she could make out two men standing in the yard. Vampires. A vampire couldn’t have gotten into the house. A demon?

Gripping her dagger tighter, Dawn padded through the house in her bare feet, gathering books and ingredients for a protection spell.

The vampire Buffy’d just kicked in the face recognized her. This wasn’t the usual Finally, we meet, Slayer, sort of recognition. He was Jason Chen from her Geometry class at Sunnydale High. He was shy of six feet, muscular even through his suit, with dark shaggy hair.

“We sat next to each other all semester? I let you copy my test answers?” he said.

“Sorry, don’t remember.”

“Doesn’t surprise me. I wasn’t so great at math.” He ran his tongue over his fangs.

“Well, I passed, so thanks?”

He smiled at her, but not the hungry, cocky smile she was used to from vampires. “You know, I had the biggest crush on you.”

Heat rose in her cheeks despite herself. “Really? You never said anything.”

“I was pretty sure you didn’t know I existed. Looks like I was right. Plus, I heard a rumor you were dating some older guy and -- Whoa, what happened?” He ran his hands over his now smooth forehead.

“You changed back into your human face. You can switch between human and vampire. I recognize you now. You’ve lost weight!”

Jason smoothed his suit jacket and beamed at her. “Yeah! I took up boxing in college and burned off the baby fat.”

“You look good for a dead guy,” she said and meant it. He’d been baby-faced and pimply in high school; now his features were sharp, and a glint of sex flashed in his eyes.

“Thanks! I feel good, too! Like I finally have a purpose in life -- er, death.”

“I’m sorry about that,” she said, quietly.

He pointed at her cross and stake. “Guessing this isn’t new to you?”

Buffy shrugged. “Some people have careers; I got a calling.”

Jason shoved his hands in his pockets, casually letting her know he wasn’t afraid. “That explains a lot actually.”

“A lotta what?”

“You missed a bunch of classes, and you usually had cuts and bruises when you showed up. You seemed super sweet, but you were always in fights. People thought your boyfriend was some cult leader who was beating you up, but all this time you were Buffy the vampire killer.”

“Slayer.”

“Slayer?” He repeated it with skepticism.

“The girl called to kill vampires and demons. She’s called the Slayer.”

Jason grinned. “There’s a whole big world of darkness out there I need to learn about.”

Buffy shook her head. “I’m sorry, Jason, but you’re not going to survive the night.”

Quick on his feet, he spun to the side, beyond her reach. She swung into a round house, knocking him to the ground. He popped up, catching her ribs with a left hook, forcing all the air from her lungs. She elbowed him in the face, knocking him to the ground again. Buffy fell on him, pressing him into the grass with her knees, stake high.

Jason raised his hands in surrender. “I understand you have a grand scheme and all, but can’t we keep with the catching up?”

“You want a mini high school reunion in a cemetery before I kill you?” she asked, stake still raised.

“Why not? You make it sound like one of us isn’t going to make it to our tenth.”

“Who goes to the tenth? The twentieth is when people stop being fakey fakers,” she said with disgust.

He smiled, his deep dimples on display. “You’re confident you’ll live that long? Your confidence is one of the things I always liked about you.”

She climbed off of him and made herself comfortable on an elaborate tombstone. The idea of talking with a near stranger she could then kill appealed to her. “I’ve been doing this for a while. Lots of training.”

The vampire rubbed his face and shook away the blurry vision she’d no doubt doled out. “Do you just kill vampires? How did we get locked into being nemisises? Nemisi?”

“I kill lots of things that hurt people.” She was too tired for the spiel.

Jason took off his jacket, his dress shirt tight on his biceps, and sat on a nearby tombstone. “How do you know I’m going to hurt someone? This is a major case of guilty before proven innocent!”

Buffy cocked her head to the side, an eyebrow raised in skepticism. “You’re not a case; you’re a monster. You can’t tell me the idea of someone screaming and crying while you drink their blood doesn’t get you all a twitter.”

He smacked his lips. “Yeah, that does sound good.”

A question nagged at her every day, a question she rarely got to ask. “So why’d you do it? Why’d you drink the blood?”

The house was so eerily silent, Dawn swallowed to pop her ears. She tried to steady her breathing; Buffy was always on her case in training about her breathing. Closing her mouth, she took long, deep breaths through her nose and refocused on the protection spell ingredients spread out on the coffee table.

Behind her, something else was breathing.

Dawn spun around, but nothing was there.

A scream rose rose seemingly all around her before the television flicked on to an old horror movie with the volume turned up. She tried to turn it off.

Nothing.

She pushed all the buttons.

The woman continued screaming.

Dawn unplugged the tv.

The screaming did not stop.

Suddenly, everything flicked on. The radio blared a new pop song. The vacuum cleaner roared to life. The microwave began to cook. The lights burned bright until they hummed.

Dawn ran back to the spell book on the table. Lighting a dry rosemary sprig and tossing it in the metal bowl, she held a small mirror up to reflect the light. Over the screaming electronics she shouted, “I, Dawn Summers, cast you from this house, from this realm, back to the -- AHH!”

In a flash, all of the electronics exploded filling the room with shards of metal, glass and plastic.

The eerie quiet was worse in the dark.

“You think that will scare me?!” she shouted, her face and arms stinging from the shrapnel. “I’m in high school!”

Bang!

The knocking came from inside the house.

Bang!

She trembled.

Bang!

Framed against the moonlit window stood a familiar shape.

“Mom?”

Lightning flashed, black smoke surrounded Joyce, squeezing her neck and ramming down her throat.

“MOM!”

The lights came back, like someone had flipped a switch, and Dawn was alone again in the wrecked living room.

Willow felt as if the ground opened beneath her, and she tumbled forever into the dark. She squeezed the branch harder, the bark biting her skin, pulling her back to reality. But in reality Tara was dead.

“How?” Willow choked through the rising tears.

Tara, her edges practically glowing, smiled a pained smile. “This isn’t how it’s normally done, but you’re special. I always knew that, but Heaven knows it too.”

“Heaven?”

Tara nodded. “They let me come to you.”

“Oh, baby!” Willow threw herself toward the woman she loved only to pass through her. The ghost left a tingle on her skin, a charge like being dangerously close to a lightning storm.

“You know I’m only here in spirit,” Tara said.

“Tara!” Tears blurred Willow’s vision. She wanted nothing more than to hold her lover one more time, kiss her soft lips, play with her silky hair.

“I have a message for you, a warning from Heaven.”

Willow wasn’t sure if she was more shocked that anyone in Heaven cared about her specifically or that whoever it was cared enough to warn her about something.

“You have to stop practicing magic,” Tara said. “You’ve become dangerous.”

“But--but Giles said stopping would be dangerous. He said small spells--”

“No, you have to stop completely, Willow. You have to stop, or you’re going to kill everyone.”

Jason sighed. “Have you ever been in a relationship that ripped your heart out? Not boo-hoo sad, more I-can’t-breathe grief?”

“Oh yeah.”

“She left me a month ago. I had a ring ready and everything, and she ran off with my best friend.” His voice almost cracked.

“God, that’s awful!”

“Finals were coming up. I was just so stressed and sad, I thought I’d come home for the weekend. Only no one in my family wanted to hear about it. Dad only cares that my grades are good; he wants me to take over his law firm. Mom was busy helping my older sister plan this giant wedding. My little sister, well, I think she was too high to notice I was home.”

“I’m sorry, Jason.”

She’d barely noticed him in school. He’d been a convenient way to pass Geometry. In fact, she couldn’t even remember who he had hung out with. How many days did he sit by her, yet another person not listening?

“Eh, I was bleeding out in a parking lot, and the offer of joining an undead army of evil didn’t sound half bad.”

“Army? Your sire used the word ‘army?’”

“‘Sire?’ Is that what I call the guy who made me all grr-argh? Sounds so formal.”

Jason ran his fingers through his thick hair while he inspected her, the hunger growing in his eyes. He would be ravenous by now. “Was your breakup recent?”

“Sorry?”

“You look sad, and when I mentioned bad breakups...It still hurts, doesn’t it?”

Killing Angel was a wound that would never heal, but him moving away? That was more scabbed over. She loved him still, but now it was more nostalgia for first love, the thrill of infatuation. He couldn’t give her what she needed.

As far as Riley went, she’d never loved him. The timing hurt more than his leaving.

But they were old news.

“No! I’m in a great relationship!”

He snapped his fingers. “Damn! You probably wouldn’t have gone out with me anyway, since I’m a vampire and all.”

She forced out a laugh of agreement.

“If your relationship is so great, why are you so sad?” he asked.

Suddenly, she knew why she’d called Spike. “It doesn’t have anything to do with my boyfriend. Not really. It’s just that my ex -- not the one I loved -- still comes around every once and awhile. He’s going through a hard time, and I don’t know how to be his friend. We’ve been enemies, confidants, lovers, allies, but I don’t know how to help him.”

“Did you know how to be his friend before the new boyfriend entered the scene?”

Buffy bit her lip and looked away. She and Dean had talked about Spike as much as they needed to -- why he was still alive, how much he helped her after she rose from the dead -- then she dropped it. The truth was, she had a hand in Spike’s suffering and didn’t want to deal with the fall out.

Jason stood up and stretched, a warm up. “Not gonna lie, that’s kind of crappy of you, but he’s got other friends right?”

“No, Spike is --”

“Wait, did you say Spike? British guy. Bleached blonde rock and roll type. Vampire?”

Her stomach sank as she gripped her stake. “Yeah, that’s him.”

The new vampire unleashed a deep, knee-slapping laugh. “Your friend, no your EX is a vampire?! Oh God, that’s hilarious!”

“How do you know Spike?”

“Spike’s the one who sired me.”

Buffy’s arms felt weak. Her knees shook. He had a soul and a chip. “No, he wouldn’t.”

Jason wiped away his tears of laughter. “I was leaving the gym after a workout. He grabbed me in the parking lot, said I could finish bleeding out or be part of something big--”

Before he could finish, Buffy lunged.

Sitting on the coffee table bandaging her feet, Dawn tried calling Buffy again. “Please! Pick up!” she cried. Hanging up, she whispered, “Mommy?”

The lights went out, when they returned a moment later, the words Daddy left us dripped down the wall in blood. The lights died again briefly and the message was gone.

The house started to rumble and shake, her own personal earthquake.

She grabbed the phone and dialed again, barely able to speak through the fear. “Dean? It’s Dawn.”

“Hey, sweetheart. You okay?” His voice was strong and alert, comforting.

She whispered, “Something’s in the house.”

“What? Like something demon or --”

“I think there’s a ghost and a demon and there’s a bunch of vampires outside. My mom is here, but so is something else--”

“Your mom? Sorry, but that ain’t your mom. You dealt with ghosts much?”

“Not really,” her voice drowning in tears.

“Listen, Sam and I are on our way; we’ll be to you in an hour. Make a circle with some salt. Sit inside. Do not let the circle break, okay?”

The house went dark, and Dawn could hear something growling. “Okay,” she whispered before hanging up.

Dawn ran to the kitchen, her feet stinging as the growling filled her ears, hot breath on her neck. Grabbing a large container of salt, she dashed back to the living room, tracing a thick line of salt around the coffee table and chair.

BANG!

Startled, Dawn fell back and knocked her head on the edge of the table, a small cry escaping her throat. A vampire stood at the window licking his lips.

It’s okay. You’re okay. Even if he breaks the window, he can’t get in. But no matter how many times she reminded herself, she didn’t feel better.

Dumping the ashen contents of the copper bowl, Dawn started over with her protection spell. Horehound tossed to the four corners. Cumin beneath her chair. Anise, angelica, mandrake in the bowl.

Joyce appeared in the living room. She tried to run to Dawn, but the black smoke smacked her against the wall. It held her by the throat as she screamed, “Don’t hurt my girls!”

“Hang on, mom!” Dawn lit the rosemary and held up a mirror to the flame. “I, Dawn Summers, cast you from this house, from this realm, back to the darkness you came from.”

A harsh wind ripped through the room, picking up bits of broken glass.

Focused on her mother, Dawn squinted to protect her eyes. “I, Dawn Summers, call on the power of the crone, the maiden and the mother, to cast you out. You have no part of this hearth. I, Dawn Summers, cast you back to hell!”

The mirror cracked in her hand, slashing across her palm. But beside her stood her mother, glowing and beautiful as Dawn always imagined an angel would be.

“You were so brave,” Joyce said.

Longing for her mother’s embrace, Dawn tried to hug her, but her arms passed through with a slight tingle.

“I want to hold you, Dawnie, I do, but you know I’m not back from the dead.”

“M-m-mom? Why are you here?”

Her smile was warm and kind. “I knew something bad was coming for you, and I had to protect you.”

“I-I tried to call Buffy,” Dawn said with a sniffle, “but she didn’t answer.”

Joyce’s smile faded and she looked away, struggling to find words. “Dawn, honey, Buffy was killed tonight.”

Willow wasn’t sure if she’d sat down on purpose or if her knees simply gave out, but she was on the damp, cold ground, clinging to her bag like it was a life raft. “Everyone, everyone? That seems like too many ones. Anyone is too many ones. I-I don’t kill people.”

Tara’s face turned dark. “Do you think I don’t know what you did? You murdered Warren. Is that what you thought I wanted?”

Bile rose in Willow’s throat. The tears came fast and hot at she reached out to Tara. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I lost control without you!”

“You don’t have control now, sweetie.”

“I do! I do. Giles took me to this coven in England and --”

“It won’t be enough. You’re going to slip up again. You’ll get drunk on power and then… Which of your friends do you think you’ll kill first? Buffy to get her out of the way? Or will you start smaller? Will you start with Dawn?”

“No! No!” Willow’s pleas turned into a cough, a furious need for air.

“There’s a way to make sure everyone you love stays safe,” Tara said, her voice like warm honey. “If you sacrifice yourself, everyone else lives.”

Willow sat up and wiped her runny nose on her sleeve. “Sacrifice? You mean kill myself?”

“You’d die a hero, honey, and we could be together again. Forever.”

Willow stood and glared at the image of Tara before her. “Who are you?”

Tara’s lips curled in a playful half smile. “Don’t you recognize me? I’m your Tara.”

“My Tara would never, ever push me to kill myself,” Willow said darkly.

“Suicide thing too much? Damn. Gotta give me credit for trying.”

Energy ran through Willow’s body, warming her, making her tremble.

The thing noticed. “What are you going to try to blast me with one of your cereal box magic tricks? You can’t touch me. I am older than time. I am older than earth. Reckoning is here, kid.”

“Reckoning? Big talk. Is the big bad gonna make us pay?”

The thing laughed. “Make you pay? Like you could give me anything. I’m done watching. It’s time to strip you of what you don’t deserve. There won’t be enough of you left to shiver in the cold when I’m done.”

Surprise replaced Willow’s rage for a moment. “You! You’re the one who watches?”

“And I’m going to love watching this.” Tara snapped her fingers, and suddenly she and Willow were floating a thousand feet in the air, the college a scatter of lights beneath them.

As Willow raised her arms, now glowing white, her body jerked, and she was free falling, Tara rapidly becoming a pinprick in the sky. She felt as if her body were tearing itself to pieces. The fall yanked her screams away to no one. As she hurtled to the ground, her vision whited out.

next chapter

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rose-photoblog · 5 years ago

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Copy of How to prepare for the best wedding photos: True confessions of a portrait perfectionist!

Dear Diary,

Hi I’m Rose and I’m a Portrait Perfectionist! As I begin to share more about the process that drives me and my team of real life, professional wedding and portrait photographers, I am really excited to dig into offering up many ‘best practices’ in a variety of areas to help ensure you receive the best wedding day photos, ever! And now that Rose Photo is also offering video, what better way to share the methods we use in creating perfect media than to give a few #bestpractices so you can ensure your wedding day photos and video are stunning and totally true to your love story!

TIP 1 : TIMELINE

As type A as you may ( or may not be), I have found over the past 12 years in the wedding world that an extra curated timeline that helps to prioritize your priorities, can be super helpful; after all, it is your wedding!

Planning for enough time to gracefully and gently move through the wedding day as you wake up and begin to get ready is key to arriving at your ceremony calmly and excited for the party ahead.

If you can guide the start time of your ceremony later than earlier, this frees up so much more time for time with your people as the day starts, beautiful getting ready photos, and maybe even a first look!

TIP 2. HIRE PROFESSIONALS

This may seem like an absolute no brainer but we can’t say it enough! From your trial updo for your wedding day hair through your wedding planner, your ‘I do Crew’ should be made up of serious pros!! One of our extremely helpful dream team favorites is a bridal dresser.

A bridal dresser can assist you with the transport, storing, displaying, dressing, buttoning, zippering, bustling, unbustling, bustling again and keeping that train on full display, amongst many other Wedding Industry tricks!

He or she is undoubtedly also very attentive to detail and will rest your qualms about dress dealings, back boob, bustle blunders and a million and one other things we’ve seen and things they’ve fixed! Pair their fashion eye with our camera eye and you won’t even know they were there.

TIP 3. TO FIRST LOOK OR NOT TO FIRST LOOK

Ok let’s break down the first look, shall we?? There are generally two camps for the First Look.

Camp A: ‘Heck yes let’s do first look and ugly cry in that cute way together, privately and have Rose + Co perched in the stairwell, treetop, rafters, or atop a nearby cab car! That would be so sweet and then we can take fun photos with our crew around the area before the ceremony even starts and maybe even knock out family formals, too’!!

Camp B: ‘Hmmm, well both of our families are SUPER traditional and we aren’t sure if we really want to see each other beforehand. Maybe it’s bad luck? Maybe I’m just really old fashioned? Either way we really just want to keep it real and walking down the aisle will be the magic!!’

Whichever camp you are in is totally cool. Again, it is your day! From my experience over the past dozen years, I will say this: If you are on the fence, planning for more time for just the two of you is never, ever a bad idea. The wedding will zoom by in a snap and whilst it is so key to celebrate with all your amazing pals you’ve brought together for the occasion, a few minutes here and there with just the two of you, #priceless!

My crew and I are actually photo ninjas so you won’t even know we are there. And, if you choose to stick to the isle for the eye contact experience of a lifetime, we will be sure to follow all the rules of the altar and swing from only the strongest chandeliers to get that first emotional look!!

Think about it and in the meantime, enjoy Nina + Jim’s picture-perfect first look brought to by two photo ninjas and one video sansei.

TIP 4. LOCATION!! LOCATION!! LOCATION!!

Much like a prime timeline, locations for the best wedding photos ever are very important. Quite literally they are the backdrop to create next-level portraits of you, your boo and your entire wedding crew.

Now let’s say your wedding party is just the two of you and you are super low key, private and maybe don’t even want that many photos. PERF!! We will dial up the best, most intimate little spots, en route and dodging traffic to get you to your party on time, even if you make a later appearance ;)

Now let’s say your wedding party is 12 people on either side, 4 flower girls, two ring bearers man, a mini labradoodle and a cockatoo!? OK we can work with that, too!! Buttttt, we would highly suggest a separate set of transportation of the children and animals. Just saying!!

Either way, we need wide-open spaces where everyone fits, can form a ‘Flying V’ ( I still dream in Mighty Ducks speak and Ducks fly together, ok!?) and also have the opportunity to set up the penultimate cover shot I know you are dreaming of with your entire possé!

TIP 5. DON’T FORGET THE DETAILS

Shiny is the new…everything! I’ve confessed this in other RP Diary Entry and I promise to be buried in a pile of sparkle or at least be shot from a canon in the midst of a glitter bomb! But that’s just me ;)

The point I’d like to share here is the details of your day, whether they are shiny, matte, lacey, velvet or whatever your hearts desire, the little details deserve as much limelight as they can get. If you have all your goodies together in one beautiful, big day box, we can be sure to give each item it’s own mini fashion shoot, promise!

You can start from the ground up and build your detail box from your shoes, onto your **unmentionables**, to your jewelry, hair accessories, and even your fab sunnies! Of course, it goes without saying any family heirloom or VIP piece of shiny gets bumped up the shot list. Keeping that previously suggested timeline in mind, we love to have about 30 minutes or so with all the good props of your fabulous wedding style to get those detail shots. Carve out a few more minutes for us and we get to comb the venue for amazing decor and architectural shots, too!

TIP 6. POSED BUT NOT TOO POSEY

I honestly catch myself saying this line almost every, single day! ‘We direct you naturally!’ Meaning, I will ask you and your bridal party to line up with a general directive, ‘Dresses over here! Suits over there!’ and then give people a minute to find their way to a spot.

Here’s where it gets fun- I sorta glaze over in a stare and figure out how everyone would stand if I didn’t tell them how to stand a certain way and just adjust their attire, flowers, chin, sunglasses, red solo cup…you get the idea! Once we have a comfortable but distinguished looking crew in front of the RP lens, we get snapping. As mentioned, I’m always on the lookout for that Vanity Fair cover shot!

I also like to make sure there is an equal amount of candid photos or, candies as we love to call them! My very favorite yet ultimate cheesy directive to give is literally ‘LOL!’ I sometimes even scream it!! And people, naturally, LOL bc WTF is our wedding photographer doing right now?! Getting your best side, that’s what she’s doing, baby!!

TIP 7. SEEING EYE TO EYE ON VISION

When you are looking to hire your wedding photography and video team that will seamlessly produce the best documentation of your love story, be sure to track them on all the outlets where you can find their work.

Ask to see their vision through and through if it does not stand out initially to you. Requesting website links to weddings shot in your wedding venue, work showing your preferred florist or hairstylists’ creations, or even having worked in very specific lighting conditions is a great way to see that the crew you hire shares your aesthetic and vision for the exact end result you would will love to review for years to come.

Websites are great places to dig into once you’ve found your way out of the Instagram rabbit hole. Almost true story: we actually live in IG land and only venture out of our phones for weddings !! Really though, we do spend a lot of time curating our Rose Photo feed to reflect our most recent projects including our couples’ anniversary shout outs, new members of families and of course, we get super excited for our wedding to be featured publications both online and in print!

Our Rose Photo + Video web experience contains even more photo gems and video tear-jerkers to show our vision through and through. We often get asked to send specific links we can reference back to our URL and even other vendors that share our same vision of wedding day perfection.

TIP 8. MAKE SURE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER GETS YOUR STORY {MY FAVE POINT}

How did you two meet? When did you get engaged? Do you live together? Where’s your favorite spot on a sunny afternoon to hang out? Are you so excited for all the fan fair or would you rather not be the center of everyone’s attention for the day? These are key points for your photo and video team to know about you so they can see you best.

I’ll just say it: I’m downright nosy! love to get into your business about your love story. The more details I know and can share with my team on your coming together, the better the output of good, juicy moments. I mean it. It’s real.

It’s our job to tell your love story with multimedia tools, pro tricks, and secrets of the trade. I endlessly fall in love with my job over and over again; I tend to cry at almost all my weddings and I promise it is not out of sheer exhaustion. Weddings inspire and energize me because it’s a love story and I’m a big old, hopeful romantic.

Even as our RP team of storytellers grows to include more trained photojournalists and videographers, portrait perfectionists, and image creators, I get to keep dreaming up big shots for the best wedding day experience for our couples so we can tell that love story seamlessly.

I hope this entry was helpful and if you’d like to hear tips from other areas of wedding daydreams, drop me a note! I would love to hear from you.

I’ve got to get back to my tripod as I set up the next perfect portrait!

love,

Rose

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enrightlynn-blog · 8 years ago

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“You’re more likely to see an alien on screen than an Asian woman.”

I interviewed the actress Gemma Chan and talked about roles for ethnic minorities on British TV, her decision to turn down parts requiring nudity, and still getting spots at 31.

Published on Never Underdressed, May 19, 2014.

Gemma Chan is much more reserved than your usual actress. She is the antithesis of those luvvie types who easily and quickly offer cheeks to be kissed while reeling off anecdotes replete with celebrity names and swear words. Instead, she is circumspect, articulate and reserved, choosing her words carefully, using an elongated middle-class and diplomatic ‘uuuum’ to politely gather her thoughts before answering any question that could be construed as contentious. She read law at Oxford before going on to drama school at the Drama Centre in London and although she never practised the subject, it seems to make sense that she was drawn to it.

‘I’m not shy but I don’t feel the need to be the centre of attention in a social situation. I like watching other people and observing,’ the 31-year-old, who has appeared in UK TV shows like Sherlock and Fresh Meat as well as the 2014 US blockbuster Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, says when we catch up after the Never Underdressed photoshoot. For although Chan is reserved – surprisingly so for those of us who erroneously (and ridiculously) thought we knew her simply by looking at her CV and scrutinising pictures of her on the red carpet with her comedian boyfriend Jack Whitehall – she is resolutely professional and sometimes her profession involves standing around in beautiful clothes (today they come courtesy of east Asian designers like Huishan Zhang and Issey Miyake) while turning her face to and from a camera that clearly loves her. She modelled for a time between Oxford and drama school and she still knows how to take direction from a photographer, adjusting her long limbs (she’s 5’9” and a perfect size eight) gracefully, training her intense deep brown gaze on the camera when requested.

She is most comfortable, however, when acting – on screen and on stage. ‘It’s quite liberating to play characters that are nothing like me. You can access those parts of your personality that are more eccentric or quirky or funny or outrageous. I do things in character that I would definitely be too shy to do in real life,’ the actress, who has played a latex-clad dominatrix in Secret Diary of a Call Girl, says.

Currently appearing in the critically acclaimed Yellow Face, a play that examines the experience of the Chinese diaspora in America, at the National Theatre, she takes on a variety of roles, flitting from an elderly Chinese-American mother to a loved-up star, all the while being very funny and quirky, proving her own point that she is somehow more at ease on stage than in person.

’Yellow Face is a very political play with a lot of serious points to make,’ she says, ‘but comedy is a great way to get people to engage with the ideas.’

The political issues raised in Yellow Face, namely the central conceit of a character being cast or not cast in a show because of his race (the play uses the 1990 controversy of Jonathan Pryce playing an east Asian character in Miss Saigon as a starting point), are something that Chinese-British Chan – who was brought up the eldest of two daughters by her Chinese-born parents in Kent, attending a school with a ’handful of black and ethnic minority students’ – can easily relate to.

She refers to a ‘really sobering and depressing’ Guardian article she read recently, which claimed that audiences of mainstream films are as likely to see an ‘otherworldly’ female character portrayed on screen as they are an Asian female character. ‘Otherworldly being some sort of fantasy or alien character,’ she explains. ‘So you’re more likely to see an alien on film than an Asian woman on film. Which is kind of tough.’

Although she keeps abreast of Chinese cinema and loves the work of Ang Lee and Wong Kar-wai, she is more interested in seeing women like her, members of the diaspora, being represented on British screens and stages. ‘For me, as someone who has grown up in the West, I think it’s important that we make stories that reflect our experience, stories where ethnicity doesn’t come into it; where, as an actor, I’m just playing parts [that don’t reference ethnicity].’

She’s part of a new campaign, fronted by actors like Ruth Wilson, Lenny Henry and her boyfriend Jack Whitehall, called Act for Change, which aims to examine diversity in British TV drama. ‘In America, when you get a casting breakdown it will say, please submit all ethnicities for this part, unless stated otherwise – you know obviously unless they’re casting a family or whatever, all ethnicities get submitted,’ she says.’ ‘But we don’t have that at the bottom of our breakdowns here [in the UK] so the presumption is Caucasian I suppose.’

Chan, who happily self-identifies as a feminist (‘It just means that you believe that women and men should be equal. It’s as simple as that. If you believe that, you’re a feminist. Men can be feminists too’) is also part of the No More Page 3 campaign and speaks passionately on the subject: ‘[The Sun] is a newspaper that should be informing readers, not objectifying women. It’s tough when it’s the most widely read newspaper in the land: it really affects the culture that young people grow up in, and the roles that men and women have in society.’

She says that she has rejected roles on the basis of gratuitous nudity (‘I turned down a big potential series because we couldn’t agree on the nudity. I mean there are actresses who are very comfortable with it and that’s absolutely fine but for me it’s got to be about the character and the story’) and she admits that the internet has limited how willing she is to appear naked on screen.

‘It’s tricky now because you know that people won’t just watch it and see it in the show. There’ll be screen grabs taken from it and potentially it ends up on dodgy sites; even stuff that I did in Secret Diary of Call Girl, there are pictures taken and then it’s out of context.’

Would she feel more comfortable appearing nude on stage than on screen, I wonder?

‘Yes … On stage, photography is banned and obviously people can see you but it’s part of that story that’s being told. It’s not something taken out of context, something for people to gawp at.’

Politically engaged and reserved and polite as she is, Chan is still very much up for a natter, however, and will happily chat about the silly stuff too. Gazing upon her perfect heart-shaped face, I can’t help but wonder if she has ever had a spot. ‘Yes! YES!’ she exclaims, ‘Yeah I get spots, I don’t get loads but yeah of course that happens. It’s strange, you think it should have stopped by now, it doesn’t seem fair.’

When a spot does appear, she covers it up with Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage (‘It can hide a multitude of sins. It is the best, the best’) and she also rates Clinique’s Stay-Matte Sheer Pressed Powder (‘It’s not too heavy but it just keeps the shine away all day’) as well as NARS bronzers and blushers and MAC eye make-up. For red carpet events, which she describes as ‘terrifying’, she has so far mainly eschewed the services of a stylist, picking her own clothes, sometimes enlisting a friend to help.

I don’t think I have one look for the red carpet. I think it’s good to change it up depending on the event, sometimes go for glamour, other times go quirkier,’ she says. ‘An outfit can look different if it’s under flash or if it’s a daytime event with natural light and something might just not come across in a photo. It can just look really flat or not be flattering. I get a friend to take an iPhone snap once I’ve decided on an outfit, just to see what it looks like in an image. Especially if I’m wearing something see-through or sheer.’

On the subject of Fresh Meat, she does away with her usual diplomacy to admit that yes she does have a favourite character. ‘I love Howard. He’s just brilliant,’ she says, echoing the feelings of many a viewer. Her favourite comedians, meanwhile, are Louis C.K. and George Carlin.

She’s warming up, revealing herself to be sweet and friendly, funny and a bit of a laugh, so I ask her to tell a joke. ‘NO! No, no, no, definitely not,’ she squeals. ‘I leave the stand-up to Jack.’

Photo: Jonny Storey

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rose-photoblog · 5 years ago

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How to prepare for the best wedding photos: True confessions of a portrait perfectionist!

Dear Diary,

TIP 1 : TIMELINE

Planning for enough time to gracefully and gently move through the wedding day as you wake up and begin to get ready is key to arriving at your ceremony calmly and excited for the party ahead.

TIP 2. HIRE PROFESSIONALS

TIP 3. TO FIRST LOOK OR NOT TO FIRST LOOK

Ok let’s break down the first look, shall we?? There are generally two camps for the First Look.

Think about it and in the meantime, enjoy Nina + Jim’s picture-perfect first look brought to by two photo ninjas and one video sansei.

TIP 4. LOCATION!! LOCATION!! LOCATION!!

TIP 5. DON’T FORGET THE DETAILS

TIP 6. POSED BUT NOT TOO POSEY

TIP 7. SEEING EYE TO EYE ON VISION

TIP 8. MAKE SURE YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER GETS YOUR STORY {MY FAVE POINT}

I hope this entry was helpful and if you’d like to hear tips from other areas of wedding daydreams, drop me a note! I would love to hear from you.

I’ve got to get back to my tripod as I set up the next perfect portrait!

love,

Rose

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