#CYRUS YOU FOOL

[nerdalmighty]

I had no idea it was THIS bad...

[lilpandrea]

How juicy would it be if the Delilah/Laudna shenanigans happen multiple times and Dorian reaches his breaking point then casts 7th level Geas because as Robbie has mentioned during the Exu: Unlimited Wrap-up for Dorian, "Friends above all else."

[ghost-qwq]

Hello, Butch DeLoria fans

[eclipsewarrior101]

Saving those you love, comes with a cost.

The light has stopped and the ragdolls and handeemen stopped as they believed it was over. Martins men had fled and everyone sighed in relief. Nick was beyond worried and wanted to run back in to find Cyrus….but then footsteps stopped them.

“ Valentine!!! Oh thank god…did you find….Valentine?”

Valentine’s head was hung low, trying to hide his tears from showing. In his arms was Cyrus…but he wasn’t moving?

Nick ran up to them as Valentine finally looked up with shame and sadness. He hadn’t said anything yet.

“ Valentine…what’s wrong. What’s wrong?????”

Valentine couldn’t say anything. He knew if he opened his mouth he would show he was crying.

“ h-he….hes not…..”

Nick immediately grabbed Cyrus out of valentines hands and the ragdoll just shook but stayed still. Ebony went to comfort him.

Nick was looking over Cyrus and his face went white. Cyrus’s eyes and hair color was faded, just gray. There was no color to his skin and his eyes. His button eyes had no light to them. Nick tried to shake him, tried to wake him. His voice sounding so frantic as the minutes passed.

“ c-Cyrus. Cyrus please. Please, come on. This isn’t funny Cyrus. Cyrus….Cyrus please…..Cyrus CYRUS….skittles….please….”

He hugged Cyrus close as he sobbed, his sugar crash eyes leaking as he sobbed. Everyone was shocked, hurt and angry. Cyrus’s soul was gone. He was lifeless, his cog heart was broken and unbeating.

They had won the battle…but Cyrus…he had been the unwilling price that Martin took from them.

😏 ( You wanted angst. There you go)

If you have any questions dm me. Hehehe

The Sugarcrash characters besides Cyrus and Martin belong to @sugarcrash-underground

[catboy-cyrus]

Honestly I kind of forgot it was April fools today else I would've written The Secret Chapter of intentions

[hxuse-of-muses]

April Fools!

Cyrus, your horns are so magnificent! That’s why I wanted to do the honor of giving it a makeover!

Some red and white stripes on one horn and pink and yellow polka dots on the other one.

Red, white, and yellow roses to string around the horns…and you’re beautiful

{♚}—; Cyrus hadn't even realized what the anon had done, as he conjured a mirror to see what had been done and sure enough it was exactly as he had said.

"Seems like everyone likes redecorating my horns these days, wouldn't you say?" The dragon decided to play along as he said that and it was hard to say if he was annoyed or not however.

[the-froschamethyst4]

Spurs and Chaps

𖤐Pairing: Bounty Hunter! König x Outlaw! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: smut, fluff, language, old friend to lovers, enemies to lovers, mention of violence, guns, P in V, age gap, groping, nipple play, badass Y/n, kissing/making out,

𖤐Summary: König the bounty hunter had to bring in outlaw Y/n but does he really have to bring her in?

————

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"Little lady you must have me as a fool?"

"No, sir."

Y/n puts the tip of her heel into the dirt as she flirts with the man in front of her. She just wanted one thing from this man, his money.

"Oh yes!"

"Fuck," loud moans filled the room, the man trying to keep his pants up as he has Y/n pinned to the wall behind her, he bucks his hips up into her, she moans, gripping his hair and kissing his lips.

They both fell on the soft bed behind the man, Y/n undressing herself, her holster on her thigh containing her pistol, she kisses down his chest to his stomach, one hand guiding down and then other resting on her gun.

He looks down at her and sees her hand on her gun.

"Hey, wait a min-" before he could speak another word, he was shot with a lead bullet between his eyes.

"Fucking disgusting," she says, getting off the guy and grabbing her skirt and dirty tank top, she digs around for his sack of gold and soon found it, she smiles and sticks it inside her shirt. She finds her boots and her long black leather coat, she heads out of the whore house and grabs her hat on the way out.

"Another one bites the dust," she says, opening the satchel on her horse's side sticking the gold sack into with all the others. She starts to sum as she gets on the back of her horse. She clicks her tongue and starts walking out of the bum rusted town.

She was acting cool and collected as if she say didn't just kill someone and robbed them.

----------

"Heard she's in Rosewood...you might want to check there...König."

"Tell me again...who am I after?"

"Her name is Y/n L/n, her bounty the highest I've ever seen, even for a woman, $790,000, not even Bonnie's bounty was this high. Was raised by her father who turned out to be Good Old Cyrus L/n, robbed the whole North City blind, was caught and rotted away in prison. Y/n was taken to an orphanage where she raised herself to become an outlaw, it started off as candy stealing then soon made it's way up from pick pocketing, now, she kills then takes." The Sheriff says.

"Sir, her last slighting was in Rosewood, now she's being on the move," his deputy says.

"Well, then, I guess you better get moving, Bounty Hunter."

"I'll see you when I have her."

"If we see you again," the Sheriff says.

König loaded up his horse, clicked his tongue and went South to Rosewood hoping he'll run into Y/n.

---------

It's been a few days, and Y/n has settled into a small town called Winslow, it was like her little hideaway, everyone knows who she is, but no one will ever give her away to the Sheriff and his Deputies.

Y/n sits on the back porch of her little home, she was in some jean shorts, and small white tank top that showed off her hardened nipples and her black boots.

Y/n was cleaning her old clothes she worn, she goes back into her lovely home and she grabs some whiskey from her top cabinet and opened the bottle, chugging some of it. Heading back outside to hang the rest of the clothes.

"Y/n..." She stops what she is doing and turns to see.

"König? How's the Bounty Hunting going?" She asked, knowing he's after her.

"Oh you know...I'm here for a little someone," he says.

"Me?" She says, her back turned to him.

"It's been a while, I just wanted to...catch up with you before, I take you to the Sheriff."

"How? Hmm? What could you have in mind, Bounty Hunter," she giggles at him, she stood up to face him, he looks down at her getting a view of her chest.

"You're a tease, just like I remember," he says, putting his hand on her cheek.

König and Y/n were old friends, even though they grew up differently, Y/n was taught to steal and be a bad person and König was taught to be a good guy. Growing up differently but still how became friends. They don't even know how it happened, and when they got older König picked up being a bounty hunter and Y/n was on the run from law enforcement.

Now did König and Y/n have some sort of relationship? Yes. Again they don't know how it happened, it was just a simple one night that turned into 3, then 4, next they they knew it 5, but it had to stop, it would look bad for a bounty hunter to be sleeping with a bounty.

It would ruin König's reputation.

"Did you take the job because of the money or to see me, again?" She asked him.

"I guess the money...I didn't know I was going after you till I was called in to help."

"Called in? You mean, you didn't see my WANTED paper? The Sheriff called you in?"

"Yeah. He asked for...the best of the best," he says.

"I see," she says, she walks past him, her hand sliding on his chest as she was heading inside. "If you want...you can come inside, König."

he smirks and follows her inside the house. She kicked her boots off at the back door.

"Take your shoes off, I don't want dirt tracked through my house."

"Since when did you ever care about the dirt?"

"Since I've lived here, I love my home, and want it clean and nice and neat," she says.

"But you kill for fun."

"And I can keep my personal life out of my work life."

"Killing is work?"

"Yep," she then turns to him. "Tea?"

"Water is fine," he says.

Y/n gave him some water and then watched him chug it, she smirks up at him, she bends down and kisses his chest down to his stomach, lifting his shirt and kissed his toned stomach.

"Liebe (love)."

"Do you think, I'll ruin your reputation?" she asks, looking up at him, he cups her chin.

"You know you will," he says.

"Good," she says, standing up and kissing his lips. She then pulls down his mask, "There's that face, I've missed...I could ruin you so easily," she teased.

"You ruining me? Doubt it," he chuckles.

König picks her up and slams her back to her wall, her legs wrapped around his waist, she then kisses his neck, he groans, he plops on her messy couch.

König then removes his jacket, and removes his shirt, he then tries to unbuckle his pants, but Y/n ends up helping him. Pulling his pants down and taking them off him, she kisses his bulge, he groans, cupping her chin.

"Fuck, I missed you," he says, leaning down kissing her temple, she moves back to laying on top of him.

"I've missed you too," she says, kissing his lips.

His hands roamed over her body. She then sits up and starts removing her clothes, König then helps her removing her tank top and kissed between her breasts. Kissing her breast and licking at her bud.

She moans, holding his head and playing with his hair, and kissing the top of his head. König then messes with her shorts pulling them off.

König pumps himself a few times, before sliding himself into her. She put her head back moaning his name and squeezing around him, he puts his hands on her waist, she starts rocking back and forth, König smirks, the sex was nice, and soft. It's suppose to be meaningless sex, but it's hard when König still loves Y/n.

Y/n looks down him, leaning over him, moving her hair on one side of head and then kissing his lips. She then starts moving a bit faster.

"No, no, keep going slow, take your time, don't rush anything," he says.

"It's just been so long."

"I know," he cups her face and starts kissing her face, then under her chin and then her lips again.

Y/n looks down at him, he slowly starts to sit up, holding her close to his body, as he bucks his hips up but she started to do the work again, bouncing up and down on him.

"God, you feel so good," König says. He loves feeling her gummy walls holding his cock inside of her.

"You do too," she moans, putting her head back. His hands then start going up her chest and squeezing her chest and playing with her nipples. She moans and looks at him.

"Are you g-going to turn me in?" She asked.

"Do you want me to turn you in?"

"No...I want you to myself, I don't want to be in jail," she moans.

"Aww~" he teases her.

Y/n then could feel herself about to cum, König smirks as cum shoots up into Y/n. Y/n smirks and then bounces a bit more and felt herself squirt on his lower stomach.

He smirks, chuckles a bit, Y/n then leans forward and then kissed his lips.

----------

König laid naked on Y/n's bed, Y/n next to him, he could turn her in so easily, but he can't do that to her. König looks over at her and moves her hair from her face.

"You can go if you want to," she says.

"No...not yet...I want to be here with you," he says.

"You can leave."

"No, not yet," he says, moving closer to her and holding her to his chest.

König kisses her forehead and kissed her lips, he holds her close and moves her hair from her face.

-----------

König was on his horse, looking at the house being light up by small lamps, he was leaving for the night, he doesn't know if he'll come back and see her again, but he wonders if he should put a small hold on bounty hunting and come live with Y/n for a little while.

He travels back to West Dale to see the Sheriff and tell him the news.

That he could not find Y/n.

Y/n woke up to no one next to her, she pats the cold empty spot next to her and thought about König, he's been gone for...so many years and now he came back to have sex with her and left, he didn't bring her in, so did he care about her?

----------

It's been weeks now. Y/n was on her front porch, she was doing some house work, putting up nice plants, around the house.

"Need any help?" Y/n stops and turns to the man's voice.

"König?"

"Have you done any killing lately?" He chuckles.

"Never," she teased.

"Could you help me with the other hanging plants?"

"Sure, liebe (love)."

[massivechestplate]

Average Gacha Character:

FGO: This is Rider, Cyrus the Great, based on the real historical figure. We genderbent him into a her with big bazongas and a thing for literature. Thankfully she was added in a main story update so she has good writing.

Genshin Impact: This is Robespierre, a 17 year old cheerful politician with a passion for reform thus he has a Hydro Vision. His parents were brutally murdered in a separatist uprising. His best friend is a twink in short shorts who he is shipped with. You find out he has a hobby of collecting coins during an event.

Honkai: Star Rail: This is Gabriel, he's a Fire-Destruction civil engineer with a wrench gun. He's literally just some guy until you find out he has ties to the local criminal underworld and is secretly a Masked Fools plant.

Limbus Company: This is Perseus, a Fixer who must kill the Abnormality Stone-Gaze Queen to prevent his mother from marrying a Wing CEO. Or that's what I would say if this wasn't his alternate universe self who worked at dystopian Freddy Fazbear's.

Arknights: This is Foosball. She's a secretary turned mercenary after getting Rock Cancer because she had talent with knives. She went crazy after the war crimes and experiments but she's fine now. Probably...

Nikke: This is Jane, she's a military uniform imouto kuudere who was thrown into a metaphorical and literal meat grinder due to cyborg abuse but has now imprinted on the first person to show her kindness. Also her ass is-

[readingswithselene]

Everything you need to know about your future spouse right now

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hey, thank you so much for choosing my reading.

🕯️As always, take what resonates and leave the rest🕯️

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🤎Pile 1 - the Violine🤎

Cards: Empress, moon, sun, page of pentacles, knight of wands, world, devil, chariot, seven of cups, three of pentacles

Hello Pile, 1, let’s take a look into your reading:

This group must deal with a karmic partner before they meet your future spouse. This is most likely a person you already know and have been in some type of relationship/situationship with.

This person could seem to be like the perfect partner in the beginning. Extrovert, open, charming, and treating you like the empress, practically worshipping the ground you are walking on. But this person has some type of duality to them, switching between the sun and the devil. And you already know about this. You probably have lots of anxiety, sometimes feeling that this person seems too good to be true while you know exactly that something is very off with the person. My mind went extremely foggy as I write this, and it gets really hard to even concentrate.

With this person it can be that you are living in some type of illusion, only trying to see the positive while the devil himself is speaking to you as soon as they open their mouth. This person might be overly obsessed with material goods (some may even be gold diggers?)

So, this is either a person you are currently involved with or someone you have already parted ways with. For most of you I don’t see this to be a person that is coming into your life in the future.

If the first case applies to your situation, you know exactly what you should do, cause this person is not YOUR person. Your person will fit you like a glove in all the best way possible.

If you have already split ways with this person all you need it to be patient and make sure, that this person stays in the past where they belong. To every one of you who thought about calling them up again – this is your sign to definitely not do this!

Pile 1, you basically can do nothing but be patient and believe that everything will be happen at divine timing.

I wish you the very best💕.

Signs that this reading is for you: red car, violins, party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, steven and taylor from TSITP (specifically their dance scene), water parks, thinking about getting your car checked, a football, yellow smileys, savoy cabbage, telephone by lady gaga, Naya Rivera, Kurt Hummel

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💛Pile 2 - the letters💛

Cards: the fool, knight of cups, knight of pentacles, page of swords, 8 of wands, two of wands, tower, ten of wands, 5 of wands Hello pile 2, let’s dive deep into your reading.

First of all, your future spouse is an entirely new person to you. Might be someone who lives currently at a distance from your and/or someone you might meet on vacation or while moving abroad. With the 8 of wands your person may be come into your life as a huge surprise, fully out of the blue when you least expect it.

I also got the feeling that this might be happen way sooner than you think right now. For the ones of you (this is not for everybody) who are currently manifesting their FS, congratulations your manifestations work out perfectly. But please try to obsess about this person a little less ;) the Universe will deliver your FS on divine timing.

Either you or your future partner (or the both of you) is not very experienced regarding long term relationships, even though I rather feel that this is about your FS. This does not mean that they have never dated someone before you, but simply that they never had a relationship where they were really vulnerable at open with the other party. Your person comes off as someone who seems rather harsh with their words, you may often feel criticized by them even though they did not intend to deliver their words this way. Your Fs may was an equestrian when they were in elementary / middle school.

This person has had their fair share of traumatic experiences which shaped them the way they are, coming of as harsh and rude in order to protect themselves. It’s literally giving “looks like they could kill you, is a cinnamon roll”. Aww, pile 2, your person really is a softie deep down, but you will have to peel them like an onion, to really get to know this layer of your person. This person felt misunderstood in their early years a lot.

I also get kind of prince charming /Disney vibes from them. Like someone who loves to play knight in shining armour and your savior. It will be really important to your person that you make them feel like they are the only one for you. As soon as they have the feeling you might be entertaining someone else, they will be leaving. Really insecure at heart.

They might be having some tattoos, but nothing spontaneous since it feels like your person is not the risky type. Every tattoo they have has some type of meaning for them (but others may not really get it). Most of these tattoos are on their arms and legs. Motive wise they tend to get for animal motives (butterfly, dolphins, tigers are the images that popped up in my head).

There might be an age gap between the two of you but nothing to wild (probably 5 to 10 years at max)

The energy of this reading was by far my most favorite one, since everything felt so calm and kinda set but also really passionate at the same time ;)

Hope you enjoyed your reading, Pile 2, wish you all the best.

Signs that this message is for you: smoothies, plums, random noises, orange, emergency lights, whats app group chats, “papa was a rolling stone”, baby blue cars with a white roof, moustache, travis kelce, caterpillar, rainbow, you could be part of the LGBTQ+ community, cardigan, your sister offering something to you, light car accidents,

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🩶Pile 3- the chess🩶

Cards: the fool, page of cups, tower, ace of wands, 5 of wands, the emperor, justice, 8 of pentacles, 5 of cups, the chariot.

Hello pile 3, let’s start with some basic things about your future spouse before we dive into your relationship dynamic :)

The very first thing I heard about your future spouse is, that this is an entirely new person to you. I don’t know if you have watched pretty little liars, but your future spouse is giving me major Toby Cavanaugh vibes (if you haven’t watched the show, I suggest you look up the character online).

It could also be that your FS is be a Cop or a craftsman (might not apply for everyone). With the emperor card coming out for you, it also seems like your future spouse is someone stable and/or financially well off.

So, let’s get a deeper look in your dynamic as a couple: As written above, your future things are someone with a pleasant amount of money – so get ready to be spoiled ;) gift giving is probably their love language, but I see them rather making you the gifts by themselves than spending money of jewelry or perfume or something like this. It is more like Toby gifting Spencer the chair he has built for her.

Ya’ll are going to be a very happy couple; I saw lots of pink tones which means you could still be wearing your rose-colored glasses after years being of being with each other. You could also love spending time near large water bodies (at the beach, on a boat or you are going to live in a city near the ocean or a famous lake with them).

I did not get that much on your relationship dynamic itself, but I got an important warning for you: with the tower card and the 5 of cups you will need to leave your past completely behind to make your relationship work. Crying and reminiscing about ex-lovers, past situationships or anything of that kind will highly exacerbate your future with your FS.

At some point (could be at the beginning of your Relationship or in the middle if you still are with one foot in the past at that point), there will be a tower moment because of your past, which will lead to you making the choice to fully close these chapters and focus on your new partner (since I did not get any cards that suggest that you will break up, I believe that there won’t be a break up or partially split because of this tower moment) The two of you are each other’s end game, and your future spouse is your promised new opportunity of finding the love and luck you deserve.

I wish you all the best, pile 3. You totally got this.

Signs that this message is for you: black cat, game of thrones (especially the iron throne), the colors green and pink, 999, sunscreen (SPF 50+), color red, dried flowers, circles, “to the stars who listen and the dreams that are answered”, Rhysand from Acotar, Ben Barnes, pumpkin spice late, cheddar cheese, sunflower, compass, chess game

[famemonsterrr]

Astrology observations part 19.

! Pliz these are my own observations and experiences not facts so really don’t take them so seriously because we all have different experiences and opinions !

- Sagittarius suns/rising people are always smiley and bright especially the women I have example of miley Cyrus (she is Sagittarius sun)

- I have noticed that a lot of people who have Sagittarius rising they end up being either addicted to weed or having this hippie guru style you know the todays crystal girlies

- Fire signs are meant to be rock stars or in stage in general. If you have noticed so many stars have fire suns or placements

- Aries they always have a way to look like a HOT mess look at my wife gaga she is a mess and that’s what makes her hot

- Taurus mars are the most lazy active bitches out there I swear to god it’s a curse to be active yet wanting to go slow and maybe chill out for days until you found the right time to do something.

- Scorpio placements/8th house placements whatever you do pliz wear Smokey eye look and black clothes. You just look soo good with this style and really makes u so sexy

- Leo sun and rising most of the time have diamond shaped face not all the time of course like Selena Gomez is a Leo rising but her face is round youthful face her cancer energy is still there lmao

- among the earth signs in men the most organised and clean is Capricorn but in women the most organised and clean obsessed is Virgo all the Capricorn men I have in my life are so organised and clean to a sick level

- water signs are the obsessed lovers always. Like even me who is Pisces sun and Venus in the 8th house (Scorpio energy) I’m very obsessed not with different people (like a Pisces dominated) but definitely with a specific person for so many years. Scorpio is just our favourite insane little water signs and cancers are the best hiding it but they love to be obsessed with their crushes/lovers

- out of the earth signs, Capricorn is the most softie don’t get fooled by Virgo being always there to help they aren’t that nice about it. Taurus is Taurus- strict and specific yet very lay back person but don’t provoke them. However for me Capricorns have been the best people ever- very patient, they don’t start drama and so giving in every aspect.

Thank you for reading<3

Masterlist if you want to read more of my blogs

I’m really grateful for all of y’all reading and liking my post. I hope y’all safe,healthy and peaceful 🫶🏻

Love u all

[jadeazora]

Y'know, I'm pretty sure at least one reason that the RR bosses don't interact in USUM was because whoever came up with that storyline probably realized they would all be trying to kill each other if you just left all of them together in a room for five minutes.

Archie and Maxie were ready to go on-sight. Cyrus would loathe Ghetsis if he found out about N. (I would like to see him punch the old man's lights out, but he'd probably just sit there and quietly stew instead.) Giovanni and Ghetsis are driven by greed, and that's what Lysandre hates most, alongside people who treat Pokemon like tools, and those who throw their power around. But the "eventually the world will be consumed by greedy fools" was basically his reason for attempting genocide in the first place. It'd probably be on-sight for him too. Masters made it 100% clear, but I always knew Gio wouldn't fall for Ghetsis's bull. Those two were looking to stab each other in the back from the moment they met.

The player and Lillie would have arrived to all-out brawl. No wonder Gio and/or Faba gave them their own rooms 😂

[the-art-block]

THE FOOL | CYRUS HESSLER

waking each night is like starting again.

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Very excited to be trying out a new art challenge 👀

[starberry-cupcake]

This is a one chapter update because this chapter was 25 years long and I don't want my post to be also that long, even though you're all being super nice about it (thank you ♥).

previously, in harroweena the ninth:

this happened

now, chapter 6:

harrowbean wakes up and is taken somewhere in a wheelchair

we get no sleep in this ship

we get no face paint, no black robes, no sleep, no security from people who wanna suffocate you in your sleep, no explanations

lyctors need a union

as in unionization, not as in a combination of people, that they did when slurping their cavaliers

the person carrying her is very upset at everyone

turns out, she's a lyctor

her name is mercysomething

we have an ortus 2, a mercysomething and an augustine

harrow mentions eyes again and says that Lyctors "kept their own faces, but the eyes they stole from someone else. You had been lucky that your own transition was not as startling"

Lucky, you say...

I don't know about that

anyway, this mercysomething is supposed to be the saint of joy

I'm assuming lyctors are given their names through the ancient art of sarcasm

on that note

harrow: "if you had not of late become the Saint of Emesis"

me: wait, I gotta look something up real quick

me: yeah, that's funny

mercysomething is angry and in a hurry

a bunch of time is spent with mercysomething being angry and treating people like crap and being unpleasant

she's arguing with everyone she comes across and takes harrow to a hangar

yandere twin is sitting on a crate watching a necromancer make a ward with blood and bleeding to death in the process

harrow sits next to her and they are like sportscasters of blood-painted wards

according to the necrocasters, it's a ghost ward

yandere twin updates harrow on the fact that they're at war and they've been attacked and they're down to three Old Lyctors and two Baby Lyctors

it would explain why mercysomething is upset all the time

mercysomething wants to take the emperor somewhere else and the guy commanding the ship doesn't want to let him leave

emperor guy comes in and kind of does this to mercysomething

yandere twin and I are LIVING for all this pute/salseo/gossip/however you wanna call it

harrow isn't as interested

I complained in gideon because gideon wasn't interested in things I wanted to look into and now I'm gonna complain about harrow not being interested in Drama

emperor the fool says: "I know exactly who is behind this terrible blow, and they were fools to show their hand"

yandere twin and I

when emperor guy sees the necromancer bleeding out he goes "for fuck's sake"

it's a quote, not me being funny ha ha

remember when I said this guy is a mess?

that's becoming exponentially more evident

I want to punch him in the face at all times

I don't know how people can be respectful to this dude

the reason there isn't any face paint for harrow in this ship is that the emperor uses it every morning to paint on his clown face

they've been alive like 1000 years or whatnot and they're all a fucking group project going off the rails

so emperor guy, mercysomething, not!dulcinea (now in a coffin package), yandere twin and harrow get in a ship inside the ship

a smaller ship inside the big ship where the emperor has been for the past bunch of years

the small ship has the blood ward for the ghosts

but, before going in, emperor the fool fixes the necro that's bleeding to death

I honestly think she would have preferred to just die

which, same, if he was my boss

necros also need to unionize

cavaliers more than anyone tbh

if cavaliers unionized, idk if there would be any lyctors

emperor guy and mercysomething argue about people they know and we don't yet know

and mercysomething was telling harrow previously that the former ninth was prettier than her (anastasia, heart don't fail me now, courage don't desert me) and telling yandere twin the former third was prettier than her (cyrus? cyril? something like that)

which, absolutely juvenile behavior for someone who's like a 1000+ years of age or whatever

why would we care who she finds prettier????

ANYWAY, throughout this I was once again thinking

nobody here has G & P initials

it's been driving me mad this whole time

gideon and harrow found that former lyctor quarters

and it said "ONE FLESH, ONE END. G. & P."

that was before the note with gideon's name in it was read

and all this time I was thinking those were a set of necro-cav from the previous lyctors

but nobody here has those initials

the only P is the cavalier of Ortus 2 and there's no G

which is DRIVING ME MAD

if the G is the previous Gideon, the one not!dulcinea mentioned, it would explain why there was a note that mentioned a Gideon in the quarters

it would not, however, explain who the fuck that other gideon is, who P is and why they aren't in the list with the other combos

augustine is a former fifth because his cav's last name is quinque

mercysomething's from the eighth because her cav's last name is oct, and because she's annoying to be around

ortus 2 is from the second, because his cav's last name is dve

cyril cyrus whatev is from the third because the cav is trinit and mercysomething mentioned him to yandere twin, who is from the third

ulysses is from the fourth because the cav is tetra

not!dulcinea is seventh because the cav was heptane and because it was a very important thing in the previous book, as we've established

anastasia (dancing bears, painted wings) is from the ninth because the cav is novenary and she was mentioned to harrow

cassiopeia must be sixth, because it's what I have left, but I don't recognize the root of the last name to make a clear parallel from the top of my head

the emperor's guardian is A.L.

I'm taking note of an emperor's guardian who isn't around anymore

could it be ice cube barbie???? idk fam, she's looking at him a lot

giving me magic knight rayearth vibes again

this but with backstabbing instead of love

ANYWAY, all of this to point out that there's no G & P and it's driving me up the wall

now, to a very important thing

VERY IMPORTANT

for me, maybe it's just me

the enemies or whatever are called "remnants" and their leader apparently has been gone for "nearly 20 years"

this is me desperately making timelines with gideon's mom and gideon's birth and the 2 details I know about gideon's mom and her birth

you know what, I'm gonna quote, since I went to fetch it

"One day eighteen years ago, Gideon's mother had tumbled down the middle of the shaft in the drag chute and a battered hazard suit, like some moth drifting slowly down into the dark. The suit had been out of power for a couple of minutes. The woman landed brain-dead. All the battery power had been sucked away by a bio-container plugged into the suit, the kind you'd carry a transplant limb in, and inside that container was Gideon, only a day old."

I'm gonna just...put a pin on that that in the cork board

I don't know you guys, I'm just gonna

let me pin that

I'm probably being wrong a lot more than what I'm getting right but I'm just telling you what goes through my mind, if I'm making a fool of myself, it's too late to act like I'm not a fool

I am also putting my clown paint on like the emperor

MOVING ON

harrow thinks the emperor talks in plural about her at one point and idk if that's the case tbh

we then get emperor guy explaining how they need to go to their safe space base with a name I can't remember

a fancy name very lord-of-the-rings-y

let's call it emperor's mojo dojo casa house

and to get there as quick as they need to, they have to cut through the River

the one with the ghosties and ghoulies

that's what the ward was for

if they went through regular means, it'd take too long and, doing it this way, they could be there super fast, but they need to get in the River and come out the other way in the right spot

and intact

so it's this situation

so, in order to do that, they have to hold on to their souls and their cav souls and whatever they've got using the skills from the first test

I want to point out, once again, WHO PLANNED CANAAN HOUSE AS A TOOL TO GET LYCTORS TO LEARN THINGS?????

THEY WERE NOT DOING ALL THE TESTS

THEY WERE FIGHTING FOR THE KEYS

SOME DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THERE WERE TESTS TO BEGIN WITH

JUDITH WAS LIVING IN LAW AND ORDER

we didn't even get to all the tests, people started dropping like flies

because the emperor had one loose lyctor who thought she was in a telenovela

ANYWAY

the point is, if they drift too far while crossing the River, something else can come into their bodies

we did learn that, because it happened to duracell bunny nephew back in canaan house

but we learned it because mayonnaise uncle thought he was tough shit and ruined it, not because of the tests

harrow, doing her best, thinks "you felt alone in your head"

WHICH IS GREAT for our gideon notes

also, no camilla mention or appearance in this one

(I'm having a lizzie bennet theme going on for Reasons for the time being)

so, we're leaving harrow and yandere twin trying to learn for the first time how to not die by crossing the River because the emperor plans things terribly and mercysomething is too preoccupied being upset at everything all the time

[pandorasprongs]

JAMIE TARTT | it's nice to have a friend.

MASTERLIST:

i've already mapped out this story, so until further notice, this is the length of the whole fic! as i post the chapters, i'll gradually update the titles here :)

PROLOGUE - hold on to the memories. CHAPTER ONE - nothing good starts in a getaway car. CHAPTER TWO - you'll always know me. CHAPTER THREE - so inviting, i almost jump in. INTERLUDE - are we still friends? CHAPTER FOUR - come home to my heart. CHAPTER FIVE - this is what it feels like. CHAPTER SIX - it all makes sense when i'm with you. EPILOGUE - you and me, always and forever.

PLAYLIST:

some songs that helped me along while writing and the lyrics of some of them are actually where i got the title chapters from! i didn't put the songs in order, but you can try and tell what direction the story is going to go based on them (insert evil laugh)!

1. it's nice to have a friend by taylor swift 2. mess it up by gracie abrams 3. new year's day by taylor swift 4. dorothea by taylor swift 5. you & me by the wannadies 6. 1, 2 by mxmtoon 7. bite the hand by boygenius 8. still into you by paramore 9. feels like by gracie abrams 10. angels like you by miley cyrus 11. cardigan by taylor swift 12. daylight by taylor swift 13. are we still friends? by tyler, the creator 14. first time by lucy dacus 15. gold rush by taylor swift 16. true blue by boygenius 17. promise by laufey 18. two people by gracie abrams 19. bags by clairo 20. miss me by zeph 21. just because by sadie jean 22. two weeks ago by maisie peters 23. back to december by taylor swift 24. supercut by lorde 25. fool by frankie cosmos

[teacup-captor]

Well ladies, gentlemen and everyone awesome... Here it is.

Honky Tonky Jonk - Sherlock & Co. Fansonk

A cover of Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus, instrumental snatched from Sing King

Lyrics by me, image in the video by me lol, credits to @littleoceanbabe for inspiration! Lyrics below the cut:

You can tell the world you never was my Sherl

You can take the business when I'm gone

Or you can tell the fans just what a fool I've been

And laugh and joke about me on the phone

You can tell my brain go back to Ukraine

You can tell my feet to hit the floor

Or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips

They won't be reaching out for you no more

But don't tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk

I just don't think he'd understand

And if you tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk,

He might sing country songs again

You can tell Mariana I moved to Arkansas

You can tell Archie to bite my leg

Or tell your bro Mycroft though we don't see him oft

He never really liked me anyway

Or tell your mate Lestrade, tell her that I'm not hard

Myself already knows I'm not okay

Or you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind

It might be walking out on me today

But don't tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk

I just don't think he'd understand

And if you tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk,

He might sing country songs again

Don't tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk

I just don't think he'd understand

And if you tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk,

He might sing country songs again

Don't tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk

I just don't thonk he'd understonk

And if you tonk my Jonk, my honky tonky Jonk,

He might sing country songs again

[daemonsdivorcerock]

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW || d.targaryen

IN WHICH: king viserys targaryen’s eldest daughter had a reputation for being a shrew and rejects every suitor before her, until her uncle daemon becomes a widower and decides to take an offer on his niece’s hand.

REQUESTED: yes/no

PAIRING: daemon targaryen x fem!targaryen

AUTHOR’S NOTES: the reader is described as having silver valyrian hair (if you do not wish to have silver hair in the fic feel read to change it). Also this text means high Valyrian.

WARNINGS: incest (uncle/niece) mention of daemon’s divorce rock, spousal murder, arranged marriage, targaryen incest, totally not inspired by shakespeare’s taming of the shrew, angst, allusions to sex, loss of virginity etc

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

VISERYS I DIDN’T EXPECT TO BEGIN A MEETING FOR THE SMALL COUNCIL WITH AN INTERRUPTION. A young son of Lord Blackwood entered the chambers of the Small Council, unannounced, practically in hysterics, clutching his red-marked, throbbing cheek.

Otto Hightower, Hand of the King, furrowed his brows. “Ser Cyrus,” Viserys spoke, eyeing the boy’s streaming tears, “Whatever is wrong?”.

“She-She is a nightmare in the flesh!” Cyrus Blackwood snapped, “She called me a cunt and threw her shoe at me! I will not wed her!”

Cyrus stormed out of the Small Council’s chambers, muttering a string of curses beneath his breath. Awkwardly, Viserys coughed. “This meeting is adjourned. I will make my way to the Princess (Name)’s chambers,”.

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

The doors to (Name)’s chambers flew open, revealing an anger-stricken Viserys. Plainly, his eldest daughter sat, nose in a book. “Do you take pride in making this House look like fools?!” Viserys hissed, as the guards closed the door behind him.

“Whatever do you mean, Father?” (Name) spoke, barely looking him in the eyes, “Is this about that child you sent in with an offer for my hand, trying to barter me off the highest bidder already? Took you long enough…”.

Viserys scowled at his eldest. “You’re just like him,” Viserys scoffed, making (Name) look up at him, “Daemon. You’re thick as thieves with him. The both of you, like plagues sent to destroy me,”.

(Name) scoffed, eyes returning to her book. “Of course,” she sarcastically spat, “As if my whole existence suddenly depends on pestering you. Believe me, I have better things to do,”.

“Such as?” Viserys snapped, sitting down besides his daughter on the sofa in front of the fireplace, “Denying the…fourth proposal from a noble family? Lord Blackwood’s son was half-traumatised! You threw your shoe at him-“.

“He deserved it. He said I was merely a broodmare,” (Name) clarified, eyes scanning the inked words on the parchment pages, “Actually, this is only the third proposal for my hand in marriage. Why in the Seven Hells are you even here? Shouldn’t you be doing something like…I do not know, declaring me illegitimate to the line of succession in place of my younger sister? Marrying a girl Rhaenyra’s age of five and ten when it disgusts you to marry a girl of two and ten?”.

Viserys coughed into his handkerchief. “Why do you insist on doing this to yourself?” Viserys pondered aloud, catching his daughter’s attention, “Jaehaerys would’ve disinherited you, (Name)-“.

She slammed the book shut, standing up. “Well, it’s a bloody good thing I’m not one of Jaehaerys’ daughters. I might as well be Viserra reborn. Why do you insist on marrying me off to any man who wants my Valyrian blood for their children?”.

Viserys, once again, sighed in annoyance. “It is not like that, (Name),” Viserys spoke, “I wish that you would choose a husband from the many men who have put their hand forward to wed you?”.

“You know who I wish to wed,” (Name) spoke bitterly, sliding the book back onto her bookcase, “You know the one I want,”.

Viserys sighed. “Your uncle, Daemon, is a rogue. And a bad example,” he reminded, “He is already married to the Lady Rhea Royce,”.

(Name) bitterly sighed. “That didn’t stop Aegon the Conqueror from marrying both Rhaenys and Visenya,”.

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

“Uncle,”

“Niece,”

The two declared rogues of House Targaryen greeted each other. They stood face-to-face, in the centre of the main hall of the Red Keep. Bustled between dancers of noble origin, both Targaryens stood out like sore thumbs.

“Uncle. We meet again,” (Name) spoke, circling Daemon like a vulture, as he did her, “I was quite distraught upon hearing the news of Lady Rhea’s accident. How untimely. It was almost like somebody sped up her passing,”.

Daemon scoffed, gripping the back of her head, thumb brushing her upper cheekbone. “Watch your words, you little shrew,” Daemon warned, the Valyrian words rolling off his tongue, “We are not the only ones who speak the language of our predecessors,”.

The princess rolled her eyes. “I am quite aware, dearest uncle,” she feigned, pressing a kiss to his palm, “I want them to hear. This wedding is so dreadfully boring. Take me away. Take me to Dragonstone and wed me in the tradition of our house. It is what you wish, is it not?”.

Out of the corner of her eye, (Name) spotted her father’s unhappy glance and Alicent’s judgemental look from the main table. She didn’t care. Their lips were almost touching when the sounds of screaming echoed across the hall.

Ser Criston Cole had beaten the lover of her sister’s betrothed to a pulp. To the death. She heard Laenor’s howling shrieks and sobs of agony and pitied the boy, as he mourned his lover’s death. Rhaenyra and Laenor were married later that evening, in a series of sobs and tears and Viserys collapsing.

A servant rushed in, out of breath, chest heaving and panting heavily. “The Princess- (Name)- Has ran away with Prince Daemon- Pentos-” the servant huffed, before falling to the ground, out of breath.