#CYCLES CYCLES CYCLES CYCLES CYCLES CYCLES I AM INSANE AND FREE

[sheeezu]

Shifting proof, you're not wasting your time.

"My beloved, the distances between us have been erased, I am here, I am here."

(If anyone is able to guess which song lyric I translated here I will love you for all my existence)

If you're doubting shifting, then read this:

Let's dive into your mind. Most importantly, into your dreams.

Have you ever realised why you dream? Dreams are just for your subconscious mind to reherse your current reality, in practice all its doing is to ensure you don't fall out of your reality.

No matter how insane of a dream you're having, it has some resemblance with the life you are currently leading. Have you ever tried to figure out just how weird the whole concept of dreams are? For example, it's common knowledge to everyone, even antishifters, that lucid dreams are a thing. Meaning you can literally play around in your mind. When you sleep, do you realise the passage of time? Sometimes your sleep stretches on for long and you don't realise you've slept that much, sometimes, dream cover a lot within a short cycle of sleep. So what proof of time could you possibly present to yourself during your hours of slumbers, where is this clock that's supposed to dictate your life?

Sometimes you don't even dream, although unconscious processes are going on in your human brain, but where are you? In the void, you're floating around somewhere in the void, without any care of your reality for once, this is called your common consciousness, or just the void state.

Whenever you wake up from a deep sleep, you feel disoriented and confused, you hear conversations and imagine things which didn't happen, there is no literal proof that these happenings are just caused by general grogginess. This confusion is your consciousness readjusting to the reality you're in.

Let's discuss what all of this science and physics is. It's essentially just a method your consciousness put up in order for you to not fall out of reality, and to not have to face thanos out of nowhere, therefore logic exists.

We are from our roots just souls floating around in nothingness, we're souls capable of creation of anything by thoughts, will, and energy. We need a medium for suitable existence, for all of the people existing alongside us, what we have in common is that our consciousness has chose a similar mode of existence for us, which is by living as human beings on this livable spherical ball, where we accept the principles of luck.

Why does a system of being ridiculed by your environment and people around you and the formation of unwanted doubts exist whenever you claim something "impossible" by human terms, for example, if you assumed and started claiming the sun rising from the opposite direction as the truth, that's going to become your base since you are creating reality, therefore you will break reality and to prevent it you yourself once put these limitations, just like how you script your DRs.

But once you realise the fact that all along this organised way of existence was put up by you in order to excite your consciousness by going through these experiences, you'll realise shifting realities, manifesting, or just going back to floating as a soul in the void is a known principle for you and easy, and you don't have to struggle to gain it, you've been doing it all your existence, then you'll shift on command.

Reality is just like a dough, which you have been molding and adjusting it accordingly.

Shape that dough into your DR

It's you. It's always been you, you've been the main provider and controller, you've just temporarily gone to existing in the form of a human vessel, breaking free is nothing difficult.

Anyways, belief in this is all you need to shift, it's freaking easy even if it's just you going to your DR to get railed. "But doubts-!!" Shush. If doubts are able to stop a process for you, you could also utilise them in a way which benefit you, from this moment do a complete uno reverse card on your doubts, you used to doubts your manifestations, go ahead and start doubting your existence being anything but perfect.

"I don't think I can be a common human being weeping over mere earthly problems, all ill ever be is a master manifestor who could do whatever I want."

...

I finished this draft at 5:55.

Now that I think about it shifting using doubts could be pretty neat, but I still have another 2 methods bending from the poll, so that's on my pending list I guess.

This entire post was a rant from my side so if there is anything confusing or out of place, just ask. Ask away until your little heart is satisfied and then go shift because what are you doing here when you could just go study at hogwarts where the stairs try to put you in your grave.

...

[seaf00d-hater]

I drew my arya with @ro-bee 's golf aria

The angry little worm in my head is saying this is ugly which is why I'm posting it now and finishing it just because

I love the way i drew the second one tho I'm proud of it and patting my back mentally for it

[the--days]

so it's like this.

you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.

And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--

and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.

And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.

And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.

[al-luviec]

cont...

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[hoao]

oikawa is a perfectly crafted character. he’s silly and insufferable and has a ridiculous way of behaving but he’s also determined and strong and committed and hardworking. if you dive deeper, he’s also desperate, insecure, and he yearns and he wants and he fights. he’s scared his hard work will never be enough because there are people who are already one step ahead of him, people he considers geniuses.

“talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish.”

i don’t think anything will ever stop him from doubting and feeling insecure, and iwaizumi himself once told him he’s probably never going to be satisfied. however, by breaking free from the constant pressure of “the talented ones”, he can polish his hard work, his instinct, his drive.

it will lead him far, yes. in fact, it leads him to another country, dealing with another language and another culture and another world. he momentarily forgets just how fun volleyball can be, until meeting hinata reminds him of it. he grows up to be fierce and motivated and passionate and on the opposite side of the court, representing another country and standing up for his “petty pride”.

he’s a character that drives me insane because i relate to him in ways that scare me. am i talented? or is what i have “just” instinct that i have to polish? am i a sort of imposter between people who are born great? people who have to work hard, just like me, but they seem to be doing it a bit more effortlessly?

hard work is always hard work, no matter the raw material (talent/instinct). but oikawa is so good and relatable because he knows it and he still feels like he needs to do more, more, more. he feels different from the others, and when first confronted with this reality it almost takes control of him. (kageyama is what he will never be, he despises him because of it).

and what’s an even bigger paradox is that nobody ever looks down on him. he does it all by himself. kageyama and ushijima and hinata and everybody else, they all look at him for what he is: a good player, a scary opponent, someone they fear and someone they look up to simultaneously, someone they have fun playing against, someone they want to beat, someone worth their time and efforts, someone who’s crazy good at what he does.

as always, haikyuu is so real for this too. our mind works in very weird ways, sometimes we don’t take into consideration others’ opinions of us unless they’re negative, we’re never satisfied with ourselves, we always want more.

oikawa is a perfectly crafted character. he has flaws and he’s so intensely human people might despise him for it. and the path furudate built for him is so fitting and so hopeful it has me believing there’s a chance i’ll get there too. not to Argentina, not to the Olympics. instead, to a future where my hard work means something (to me!).

and what if i don’t feel like the others? what about it? it will never be “just” instinct. it’s my hard work, my pride and drive. it will lead me places because i demand it. when oikawa breaks off the cycle, he becomes insatiable. “i will defeat everyone, so be ready!”

(i also happen to believe he really does defeat everyone).

[lucysarah-c]

Not in season?

Summary: Winter had settled in, and the scouts were busy training and preparing for the prospects of spring, still far away, to retake Wall Maria. Despite the snow accumulating outside, the building was freezing cold, and the world had secluded itself until the temperature rose. So, why was Captain Levi boiling in his own body? Something felt off, but his mind was quickly slipping into insanity as he tried to find a rational explanation. Author note: I've had this idea for so long… Omegaverse is my guilty pleasure, and I decided to treat myself with it. I'm self-conscious about my smut, so… practice makes perfect. That's it. In case I forget any warning or tag, feel free to remind me. Pairing: Levi x fem! reader. Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Levi Ackerman, Top Levi Ackerman, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Possessive Levi Ackerman, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Knotting, Dubious Consent, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Smut, Breeding, Forced breeding, Biting, Breeding Kink, dubcon, Unplanned Pregnancy, Pregnancy Kink, Forced Pregnancy, Unsafe Sex, Nurse reader, Alpha Levi x Omega reader, Captain Levi Ackerma, Captain Levi x Nurse Reader, Dirty talk, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Alpha Hange Zoë, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Erwin Smith, Alpha Eren Yeager, Alpha Jean Kirstein, Alpha Mikasa Ackerman. Omegaverse. Word count: 8.6k words of pure porn. You had been warned lmao

Saliva accumulated in his mouth, pooling before he spat it into the sink. The rush of water from the tap washed away the residue as he continued spitting and splashing his face with cold water. A sense of uneasiness clouded his mind, lingering like the scent of smoke. He had showered, shaved, tidied his hair, cleaned under his nails, changed clothes, and brushed his teeth. What else was there to do?

A thick, almost sticky sensation coated his mouth, as if he had a stomach ache without the actual pain. Despite the cold weather, sweat formed on his forehead as he pushed the dark hairs out of the way, splashing his face with freezing water once more. Perhaps it was due to his inability to concentrate on work since early morning, causing him to pace around the room like a caged lion.

Correction, he did have a stomach ache, but he couldn't quite pinpoint the source or if it was even physically painful. It felt more uncomfortable than painful. Waves of acidic heat started in his groin and spread throughout his body. He had already consumed three cups of tea by 9 am. When he crossed paths with Erwin in the higher-ups' kitchen, the commander questioned him, noting the honey in all the teas. Unusual for him. Both of them were extremely busy, their minds preoccupied elsewhere. The commander didn't have time for extensive questioning, yet Levi couldn't shake off the extremely unpleasant sensation that Erwin's presence was the most annoying and irritating thing he had encountered.

"I'm craving something sweet," he added curtly, hoping it would suffice. It was true; he felt the need for something soft, sweet, cute, filling, and warm. He was irritable, easily bothered by Eren and Jean's silly actions during early practice. The display of youthful hormones and their desperate need for attention and dominance grated on his nerves. Oddly enough, he had grown accustomed to them and their displays of testosterone.

Newly presented alphas always behaved that way—baring teeth, growing, and fighting. Their disinterested and desperate cries for attention garnered no reaction from fully grown alphas. They were closer to pups playing pretend, training for future occasions in their lives than actual threats. Levi was sure of it, both as a mature alpha and as a high-bred one. Usually, the two boys only annoyed him with their strong, uncontrolled scents and nothing more.

However, that morning marked the moment he sensed something was off. Eren's insistence on asserting his dominance over the Kirstein boy with his scent almost prompted Levi to interfere, baring his teeth and loudly declaring that he was the one in charge. It had never struck him in this way before, these two newly presented boys. On the contrary, in previous instances, it had strengthened his sense of responsibility and paternal instinct, correcting their behaviour when he felt the need to show them the right way to behave. The captain secretly blamed that time spent alone with his squad in the cabin or Eren's fresh presentation under his watch at the former HQ.

Women usually precede such occurrences, they naturally present earlier than boys. So the Ackerman girl must have sensed something, her penetrating dark eyes never leaving his figure during training. Levi's suspicions were confirmed as soon as he called it a day and left. He could no longer bear it.

“Finishing so early?” Erwin inquired when they crossed paths again. The taller man wrinkled his nose slightly but stood in place, demanding an answer.

“I feel like shit,” Levi spat out, giving his back to the taller man as he stopped on his way but refused to face the commander.

“I see,” Erwin replied before adding, “consider going to get checked by the nurse.”

Levi clenched his teeth irrationally. Once again, the blond’s presence felt utterly annoying. 'I know! I can smell it all over you,' he thought.

“She’s at her station. I just came from there as she was checking my arm,” Erwin explained calmly, obviously not considering a deeper topic. “Y/N is young, but she’s very-”

The commander was cut off mid-sentence as Levi turned over his shoulder, deadly piercing eyes, and hissed at the taller alpha. Erwin stood in place, denying the idea of backing up as he kept his eyes glued to the shorter soldier, completely confused. “Did you just hiss at me?”

Levi shook his head, as if trying to snap some sense into his brain. “Fuck, sorry,” he said, then returned to his pace, feeling the judging blue eyes of his superior stuck to the back of his head.

He contorted in pain, bending over his desk as his body burned. His skin felt as if it were boiling in his own blood. Saliva filled his mouth, his jaw clenched with uncontrolled tension. "Too many," his sharpened senses detected the repugnant stench of too many competitors surrounding him.

The military was full with Alphas, lower or higher breed, but most of the members were either that or betas. Omegas weren’t allowed, at least no at the main activity divisions. More appropriate positions were reserved for them if they desire or unless they were low quality breeds, in order to avoid creating unnecessary commotion during their heats.

"I don't understand," Levi cursed under his breath as he contorted in pain, his body drenched in sweat. He slumped against the desk chair, tilting his head back as ragged breaths escaped his accelerated mouth. Ruts were something that had almost disappeared since he joined the military, and he was grateful for that. Without constant exposure to the presence of omegas, most purebred alphas reduced their ruts to near non-existence. Nature was wise—why waste energy and precious seed when there was nobody to claim? It was better to save it for a worthy occasion. Yes, there were perhaps a couple of instances when his body experienced reactions during particular seasons, but they were easily manageable.

This, however, was all-consuming. It began and ended with each breath that left his lips.

"Fuck, it's like I'm 18 all over again," he cursed, recalling previous ruts. The muscles in his legs twitched and contorted as he spread them apart. Every fibre, hair, and cell in his body strained, expanded, tightened, and prepared with ecstasy at the idea of "Fight, win, dominate, claim, breed, and secure." All of these required him to be exceptional.

Levi had always been fearful of confessing to anyone, but being an Ackerman and an alpha was quite the combination. The Ackerman powers granted individuals increased strength, agility, and combat prowess. When combined with an alpha's innate physical abilities during a rut, an Ackerman alpha became an even more formidable force. Their already heightened strength and endurance would be further amplified, allowing them to excel in protecting their pack and omega.

The Ackerman powers also enhanced an individual's senses, including perception and reflexes. This heightened sensory awareness complemented an alpha's already acute sense of smell during a rut. The combination resulted in an alpha with incredibly sharp instincts, capable of swiftly detecting danger or sensing the presence of a compatible omega.

In conclusion, every inch of his body was working diligently to find a suitable partner. His fingers reached for the cravat around his neck, loosening the pressure and seeking some relief. The cold leather of the chair briefly provided a deceptive sense of calmness until it warmed up and clung to his body. Two, three buttons were undone, and the air within the office began to thicken with his own pheromones as his neck became exposed. These were shameful actions that his body performed of its own accord, attempting to attract a potential mate.

Dry chuckles reverberated in his chest as he contemplated the absurdity of it all. "I'm humanity's strongest soldier. I fought the entire MPs to put a queen on the throne. I don't need to produce a bunch of hormonal shit to show an interested partner that I'm strong enough." Because that's what his body was doing—it was a display, a show, a performance, almost, of virility, strength, and power.

The idea of being dominated by the very thing he was supposed to control made him shudder. He wasn't just any alpha; he was Levi Ackerman, the clean freak who prided himself on maintaining order and discipline. Yet here he was, a mere pawn in nature's cruel game. "Fucking biology," he growled under his breath as if cursing the very laws that governed him. He knew what he had to do, but it felt like betrayal. His mind screamed at him to resist, to fight against the urge but little he could do.

Hange was quick to slap the door open, enthusiastic, and wrinkled their nose at the odour inside. They covered their mouth and nose with their hands, the stink being too much to bear.

"God, get your shit together, shorty!" they replied almost immediately. “Fuck, I can even feel the pheromones in my mouth,”

Levi groaned uncomfortably before adding, "You think it was something I could control, I wouldn't just do it?" He spat out his words, contorting uneasily in the chair.

"I came because Erwin mentioned that you cancelled training earlier. Well, this just makes sense," the brunette paced around the room, keeping their distance. As an Alpha themselves, with a strong bond of camaraderie between them, the titan lover understood the other's need. "You seem too far into the rut already for me to give you something to shut it down."

Another uneasy groan escaped Levi; this was not happy news.

"You'll have to deal with it like a big boy. I could give you something to make you more docile…"

"Fuck it," he quickly complained, being docile and Levi weren't two words that mixed well.

"Yeah," Hange chuckled as they kneeled next to the desk to inspect the short man better. "I thought you'd say that…"

Brown eyes fixed on Levi as if he were Eren during an experiment. "What?" Levi quickly snapped, feeling too much under scrutiny.

"… may I see your fangs? I've never seen you bare them, and now that you've admitted with the whole Kenny stuff to be an Ackerman, I'm curious how they look."

He bared his teeth; he was no subject of tests. "Fuck off," he replied, clearly irritable, but the brunette laughed as the sight was there for them to behold.

"There they are… god, they are huge. Poor omega… that's why only their bodies are meant to support the mating," While Hange insisted on inspecting the Captain and rambling about biological details and dynamics, the other poor alpha of the room was dying of heat. His body wasn't taking it easy that he wasn't collaborating willingly to go out there and search for a mate, especially when he had allowed another alpha inside his territory. "Talking about omegas," Hange picked up the topic after their rambling, "who have you been around with to trigger a rut? There are no omegas in the scouts."

"You tell me!" he replied between clenched teeth, almost drawing blood as he felt the stitches in his groin and the imperious necessity to bite something down and hold it as he pounded into it.

"God, I better go before you think about bitching me," Hange commented, not meaning it seriously. "I'll let the rest know you're sick to leave you alone. I'll leave a tray of food at the door and a change of water."

Levi hummed a sort of reply; he felt so humiliated. The mere thought of not having control over his body felt like an insult to his honour, to everything he stood for.

"Cheer up, have fun pounding your pillows," Hange's sing-song voice came through the door as it closed behind them.

It took a tremendous effort to rise from his seat, walk to the door, and add the lock on. Only then did he pace around the room like a caged lion, closing the window despite his need for coldness and drawing the curtains. The last thing he needed was some stupid cadet watching him jerk off over his desk. He kicked his boots off and started to undo the harness; it was done, it was inevitable at this point. Neatly putting them away while he still had some semblance of self-control and lucidity in his brain. It was going to be a long ride, a good couple of days closed inside there, almost ready to tear his skin off because his body "claimed" that this was the rightful time for mating.

Uniform off, he took a cold shower, thinking that he might have little to no mind to do it later on. It wasn't his first rut, of course not, but it had been definitely a while since his last. And he had no fond memories of the previous experiences. Once showered, he felt slightly at ease, a drop of water for a man dying of dehydration. Sweatpants on, no bothering with underwear, not even a shirt. Like a man waiting to be hanged, he prepared for what was about to come while he still had time to prepare.

It was winter, but he felt as if the air burned his skin, so warm it felt. He took off the bed cover to avoid getting it dirty, leaving only the sheets. Before he could even notice, his teeth were biting into his pillow, triggering his mind into thinking it was something else and also muffling his sounds. Thick expert hips thrusting in rhythmic movements, seeking fraction and release, his right hand squeezing the base of his dick, simulating what an omega's hole would feel like. So he could knot and feel a wash of relief until it started again. And again.

First, the rut, then the heat. In nature, it's rather a simple dynamic. Alphas go into rut first to showcase their capabilities, and when the heat hits, omegas have probably already had their eyes on one or two alphas.

Third chamomile tea, warming up her hands. She sighed slowly, trying to calm down her pounding heart. His hands did a calming massage over her neck, but her hair was getting loose as it escaped the low braid she had done during work. Something was off; she couldn't quite put her finger on what, but she started to wonder if she had caught a cold. Her body trembled as she got a fever; despite her rising body temperature, she felt rather cold, craving the warmth of her tea. Anxious thoughts clouded her mind, unsure why.

As the new nurse of the scout, she felt most of the time rather pointless. They had been preparing to retake Wall Maria during winter; there weren't expeditions, and accidents during training weren't that frequent, luckily so! She didn't want to appear as if she was waiting for someone to get injured to justify her presence. Her presence there wasn't only new; she had freshly graduated, and the surprise that they had chosen her as the main nurse made her anxious and happy. But the scout facilities were deep into the training areas, and the place was quiet and busy. Perhaps too quiet sometimes.

'Captain Levi is sick,' 'Oh goddess, doesn't he need me to check him out? I saw him a couple of days ago to check the healing of his ankle, and he seemed just fine!' 'No… better leave him alone; he's grumpy by nature. Imagine when he's sick.'

The conversation of the day before yesterday stuck in her mind far too much for her liking. Perhaps because she had checked his ankle, and while it seemed to be healing suspiciously fast, Captain Levi had explicitly asked her not to tell anyone how serious the injury had been. Her mind began to wander; had he gotten it infected somehow? What if it was more than just a cold? What if he needed someone to change the cold cloth over his forehead?

But the moment that kept replaying in her mind was when he brewed her tea, almost proud of how he had secured a deal for the best supplies from the Reeves Company. The soft touch of their fingers, the piercing colour of his eyes fixed on her—these memories lingered with an underlying haze each time she entered the room, though she wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was from her last visit, the previous week when her necklace had come loose and fallen to the ground. Levi's sharp eyes quickly found the silver piece and handed it back to her.

Feeling embarrassed, she attempted to fasten the necklace herself, but it was challenging. "Here, let me help you," he said, his calloused fingers moving her hair aside, knuckles ghostly brushing against her neck as he placed the necklace around it. The sensation left her feeling warm, her heartbeats echoing in her ears, and the inviting aroma of lavender and citrus filled the air, slightly musky. It made no sense; she was a beta!

'Maybe we both caught a cold.'

Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling above her, beneath the higher-ups' personal chambers. She knew that Levi's room wasn't directly above hers, but metaphorically speaking, it felt that way. She couldn't sleep; her body felt uneasy, tired yet expectant, hot yet cold, restless yet weak. Curling into a small ball on her mattress, she wished to hide from the world. A feeling of defenselessness washed over her. Her mind and body felt exposed and alone, craving reassurance and longing for her worries to slip away.

'Maybe I should check on him… ' 'Yes, yes, check on him,' a voice inside her head quickly agreed.

Armin had been tasked with delivering some food and fresh water to Levi's chambers, and since she couldn't sleep, she contemplated making a late-night visit to check on him and offer assistance with medicine. The night was bitterly cold, and she felt oddly exposed, much like a doe in the middle of a meadow, her big round eyes scanning for danger in the unprotected surroundings, perfect prey for lurking predators. She added a thick, long cardigan over her nightgown and left her bedroom, her loose hair flowing as her slippers echoed in the scout facilities' corridors.

As she made her way through the facility, a shaky candle's light flickered under her steps. She struggled to keep her cardigan closed around her chest, multitasking as she carried a few loaves of bread, a couple of nuts, and a jar of water. The closer she got to the higher-ups' chambers, the heavier her chest felt, and she started to consider the possibility that she might have caught a cold or something worse. Each step on the stairs to the upper floor felt torturous, and her body weakened.

Finally, she reached the door and softly knocked, trying not to wake the other superiors sleeping on the floor. "Captain? Captain Levi? It's me… I was wondering if you needed medicine, help… anything," her whisper felt absurdly loud in the still of the night. There was no response, so she knocked softly again and attempted to turn the doorknob. It was, of course, closed.

She had a moment of clarity as she thought, "I don't know what I was thinking." If Levi was feeling so unwell that he had been absent from work for almost three days, he was likely asleep, and that was the best medicine. Her legs flexed as she prepared to leave what she had brought with her on the floor when she snapped to attention as the door creaked open in front of her.

The air that slipped through the door hit her like a wrecking ball. It entered her nostrils, invaded her senses, and intoxicated her brain so quickly that she could barely process it. Levi's grey eyes observed her through the door's crack.

"Captain?" She whispered as her body grew warm, her cheeks flushed, her legs trembled, and her hands shook. The air felt heavy and lacking oxygen, and before she knew it, her natural response was to start apologising. "I… I brought you rations," she stammered, as if her brain was trying to come up with excuses.

As that intoxicating scent grew stronger, her body reacted. Her walls contracted, her legs pressed together, and she felt ashamed, especially since Levi was intensely staring at her through the crack of the door.

"Cap-?"

Before she could insist, the door opened slightly more, barely allowing her to slip inside. Once inside, the woody, pine scent with subtle undertones of mint, citrus, and lavender overtook her senses, leaving her devoid of coherent thought. Despite Levi's stature on the shorter side, the breadth of his shoulders and his imposing shadow against the door as he pushed it closed captured her attention. Perhaps, under different circumstances, she might have noticed the sound of the lock as he stood behind her, allowing her to venture inside his territory. But the pheromones worked their magic on her, causing her knees to weaken, her body to liquefy, and her face to flush. She felt a pulse of wetness down her core, dampening her underwear.

After placing the jar of water and rations on the desk, she leaned against it, feeling nearly incapable of standing. She had clearly overestimated her health; she was suffering from something more than just a cold. Her mouth grew dry, and she was about to turn and leave, back to her own bed, when Levi deliberately licked the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She let out a loud gasp, trying to push him away.

Levi had her pinned against his desk. When had he moved so close to her? How was it possible that she hadn’t heard him? Most importantly, this wasn’t the Levi she knew, the one she peacefully drank tea with in the afternoons or the one who asked her if she needed anything from downtown when he was going to pick up rations with his squad.

Levi's pleasurable groans and purrs reverberated against his chest as he shamelessly licked the back of her neck and sniffed the area, softly caressing his canines against her skin.

"Captain, wait!" she tried to struggle away, pushing him off.

"Shh," he hushed, "no need to resist. I'll give you exactly what you came looking for, Omega."

Her body skipped a beat as she heard his hoarse voice. She felt her wetness spreading, an inner voice whispering, ‘Yes! Yes, this is what you want. Be good to him, be calm for him, be receptive, be a good little omega.’

Her legs trembled in desperation to stand straight, but the musky scent in the room awakened something deep inside her, almost animalistic. Levi's hands held her hips, pushing them backward, and his groan joined her pants as she felt the thick, throbbing member under his sweatpants. Her soft gasps weren't just because of the sweet friction she didn't want to enjoy as much as she did; Levi's half-hard member felt impossibly thick and demanding against her.

His fingers crept up her legs, her attempts to grab his wrists and stop him proving futile. "I-I'm not an omega! I'm a beta," she insisted.

Levi chuckled, the vibration reaching her as his fangs lightly grazed her vulnerable skin on her neck, not biting just yet, but teasing her with the idea of it. "Is that so? Well, this part of you says otherwise," his fingers moved up and down her soaking wet underwear.

"No- I… I'm not…"

"I can smell you, how sweet you taste, how wet you are, how desperate you are for it," Levi's voice was surprisingly calm, deep, and smooth, but with an undertone that made him sound as if he was lost, not completely in control of his own mind. "Submit, and I may take you to the bed, where your knees won't bruise."

"I'm not an omega," she repeated, her voice trembling. She could feel the wetness on her thighs seeping through her underwear and onto his fingers. It was humiliating yet exhilarating, confusing yet intoxicating. The scent of him surrounded her, consuming her senses, and despite herself, she couldn't help but arch her back, pressing herself closer to him.

Her heartbeat echoed in her ears; it seemed like a drum roll announcing their inevitable surrender. "But I… I can't…" His hands held her hips firmly, preventing any chance of escape while also keeping her close enough for him to sniff and lick her neck whenever he wanted.

"You are mine," he whispered hoarsely, his voice vibrating with raw desire. “That tight little hole of yours is twitching for me, begging for my knot. You’re obviously in need of a proper mate,”

His fingers danced along her hip bones, teasingly close to the place where they met but never touching. He leaned down further, his nose almost brushing against her hair. "I can smell your wetness, your readiness to take my seed.” His hips pressed and jerked against he, breathing heavily against her neck as he rocked his cock against her ass.

“I’ll breed you properly, do not worry,”

"It's because of the rut," she said quietly, trying to rationalise the situation but incapable of controlling the gasps "We both are affected by it."

Levi chuckled darkly, his hands moving up her sides to cup her breasts through her nightgown. "Yes, I’ve triggered your heat," he agreed, his voice husky.

His fingers brushed against her nipples through the thin fabric, sending shivers down her spine. She moaned softly, her body betraying her resistance. Her mind screamed at her to push him away, to run, but her body yearned for more.

"You’re not thinking straight" she cried out, her voice shaking with desire and anger.

"I know exactly what I want," Levi murmured, his breath warm against her skin. His dick swelled in his pants, this time ready for the actual act not some pathetic fantasy in his sheets. He spoke as if he was in trance, drunk on something sweeter than honey, softer than silk. His mouth started to salivate, teeth clenched and his hands lost control of his own strength as the veins of his hands and forearms popped as he tightened his grip.

She felt so small in his arms, so vulnerable yet so desired, and it was a confusing cocktail of emotions that left her feeling disoriented and helpless. But despite everything, there was an underlying thrill coursing through her veins, telling her that this wasn't something she should resist.

Her heart pounded against her chest as if trying to escape its confines. It was almost comical how desperately she wanted him, how eagerly she craved his touch, his scent, his possession. And yet, deep down, there was a part of her screaming at herself to fight against it, to run away, to save herself from becoming someone else's plaything.

The struggle inside her mirrored the one outside; Levi's grip on her hips tightened, pulling her closer while simultaneously pushing her back against the desk. His other hand moved up, tracing along her neckline until he reached the clasp of her nightgown. With a swift movement, he undid it, revealing more of her skin to his hungry eyes.

She gasped as the cold air hit her bare shoulders, making her nipples erect and visible beneath the thin fabric of her nightgown. Levi's gaze lingered on them for a moment before moving further down, taking in the sight of her wet underwear.

"You're so fucking wet," he whispered hoarsely, his voice barely audible over the sound of their heavy breathing. "I could take you right here, right now, against this damn table."

His fingers slid into the waistband of her underwear, tugging it down slightly. The sensation was exquisite yet terrifying, like walking a tightrope without any safety net below. Her body trembled with anticipation and fear, each breath she took only heightening her senses further.

Perhaps the worst part of it all is how arousing it was, him manhandling her to his own wishes. Hands squeezing and kneading the skin of her body to his own pleasure, his legs parting between hers to force the space and secure her own hips to the sturdy wedge of Levi’s hips.

"Please…" she whimpered, unsure whether she was begging for mercy or for more. “Please, not here,”

Levi's pupils dilated. It had been so long, so stupidly long. Perhaps the last time he recalled being inside something warm and releasing one load after the other, squeezed almost to death by soft, tight, warm walls, was during his thug days back in the underground. The anticipation festered in his mind, his chest rapidly rising and falling at the mere thought of it. Maybe that's why Omegas weren't allowed in the military, those pretty little things, the perfect match for his knot to force his seed repeatedly until it took. And God, it would work perfectly—the perkiness of her breasts, the pertness of her ass, the roundness of her hips, the glistening of her inner thighs as she moistened herself perfectly for him to slide right in. Every inch of her body was made for him to claim and breed.

His large, pale hand groped her ass, squeezing his fingertips against her skin until it left marks, the bruise of his strength. She felt like a doll in his hands, moldable and ready for his every whim. Yet, there was something strangely comforting about it too. To be utterly at his mercy, to surrender control and let him take charge—it was terrifying and exhilarating, all rolled into one. Her head turned to the side, her glittering eyes looking back at him expectantly.

Levi's eyes locked onto hers, his gaze fiery and possessive. Her eyes met his, and for the first time since this whole ordeal began, she saw something different in them. There was no humour, no coldness, no distance. Only raw desire, hunger, and possessiveness reflected back at her. "You want this, don't you? You fucking crave it," he chuckled darkly, his voice barely audible over the sound of their heavy breathing.

"I'm not…" she tried to protest again, but her words caught in her throat, trapped between fear and lust. She wanted him, needed him, yet part of her fought desperately against this primal urge.

Levi chuckled darkly, his fingers tracing along her inner thighs, barely touching but enough to send shivers down her spine. "You are," he whispered hoarsely, his breath warm against her skin. "And I plan to take advantage of it."

She whimpered again, a sound that was half protest, half pleasure.

Desperate to finally touch that sweet pool of warm slick between her legs, calloused fingers slipped upwards, running up and down her folds. Anything around her hole was dripping wet, almost to the middle of her legs. It felt absurd how her body reacted. Two unceremoniously fingers slipped in, her back arched, her lips parted, and she let out lewd moans that must have caught the attention of one or two higher-ups.

The sounds that reached his ears were obscene. It was ridiculous how she felt his fingers sliding right in and out, merciless but smooth. Her senses caught every humiliating detail of how wet she was for him. Levi didn't bother with detailed foreplay; there was no need. Her instincts had done all the work for him. Stupidly slippery, he parted his fingers, filling the pull of her walls that easily succumbed to the pressure, allowing more space for him, her cervix welcoming his load.

He withdrew his doused fingers, raised them up for him to take a good sniff before sucking them with delight. Almost throatily purring at the flavour, he said, "You're in the perfect cycle. I'm going to mount you and breed you as you deserve."

She emitted soft mews, her hips pushing backward, her ass slightly shaking to the sides, desperately trying to regain the alpha's attention. His head throbbed with determination as much as his manhood did inside his pants.

"Nngh.." she moaned, rocking against his desk, mourning the loss of his touch “Levi.. please,”

He stepped back slightly, giving her an illusion of freedom that was quickly shattered when he grabbed her hips again and lifted her off the ground. He wasted no time, she gasped as his fingers dug into her flesh, but it wasn't painful. Carrying her to his attached room as his hands sneaked under her ribs and pushed the nightgown over her head. Leaving her completely exposed. Levi's gaze roamed over her naked body, taking in every curve, every dip, every inch of her exposed skin. His canines gleamed dangerously as he licked his lips, almost like a predator sizing up its prey. Placing her on his mattress, the sheets were a mess and he had no mind in the past few days to even bother. Only serving further to his mind state.

Quickly he took off the sweatpants that hung lazily over his hips, tossing them aside not minding where they landed before he sinked a knee on the mattress crawling over her frame. How welcoming her body was, legs parting to show her leaking hole as a trophy for him to claim. Widening his knees to brace himself for what was about to come. Her watery eyes looked at the throbbing cock between his legs, it wasn’t just the length or the grid of it. It was the curve, the glycerin of the tip with pre-cum and the base that was already inflating in anticipation, softly twitching under the night light in arousement. The idea of being bred by an alpha as strong as Levi made her rock her hips against absolutely nothing, feeling her wetness sneak between her ass cheeks into the bed.

“Alpha… please ah- Come on,” She mewled, obviously already too far gone into it.

Her eyelashes fluttered while she laid trembling in the sheets, soft mewls convinced with keens as Levi’s lip latched on one of her buds, fingers massaging the softness of her breasts. Levi moved forward, hovering over the smaller omega. Yanking one leg over his shoulders only for his fingers to find the place he was going to claim once more, harshly biting the tender meat of her inner legs.

Levi's finger, slick with her arousal, slid into her tight heat with ease. He allowed a soft grunt of satisfaction to escape his lips, his eyes fixed on her flushed face as he carefully gauged the reactions. He curled his finger inside her, searching for the spot that would bring the sweet creature the most pleasure. His touch was controlled and skilled, determined to bring her to the peak of ecstasy.

"You like that, don’t you? Fuck, you’re sucking me in. Desperate little bitch for my seed. Trust in me, my omega."

His thumb found her clit, gently rubbing circles against it as his finger continued to thrust in and out of her wetness. The stimulation from his finger and thumb working in tandem left her teetering on the edge of pleasure, her moans growing louder with each passing moment.

"Alpha," Y/N moaned, feeling herself close, seeing him with residues of her wetness in his mouth "It feels good… I feel full,"

Levi's eyes darkened with desire as he heard her moans of pleasure and felt her walls tighten around his finger. He had to bite down a smirk as the mere thought of someone hearing him claiming what was rightfully his felt like a wet dream come true. Her words of satisfaction only fueled his own pride.

"You're doing so well, my omega," he murmured, his voice filled with husky approval. "Just let go and surrender,”

With his skilled touch, he increased the pace of his finger, thrusting deeper and faster inside her, while his thumb continued to rub herclit with firm and precise movements. Levi's own desire burned within him, his cock twitching against his lower abdomen, leaking shamelessly.

His movements became more urgent, his finger thrusting faster within her as his thumb pressed harder against her perfect spot. The dual sensations sent powerful waves of pleasure coursing through her body, bringing her closer and closer to the edge of climax. With one final, powerful thrust, Levi's fingers found that sweet spot within her, his thumb exerting a steady pressure on her bud. The combination of sensations was overwhelming, all consuming. Crying out his name, sweet body convulsed with pleasure, waves of ecstasy crashing over the poor creature.

Red swollen lips swollen and flushed face, she observed him withdraw his fingers and lick them cleans with a satisfaction smirk.

"Full?" He questioned, almost mocking "Oh, already? but I'll stuff you even more"

His words drew her eyes to his cock, that at this rate looked painfully ready. "Indeed," he replied, his voice laced with a mixture of lust and dominance. "I will show you what it truly means to be filled, to be completely consumed by an alpha."

A soft breath of rationality crossed her mind, forcing her to contour under his frame and seek liberation, fighting back and struggling. Levi's eyes narrowed slightly as he noticed the lack of cooperation. His dominant demeanour increased as the prospect of losing his potential mate felt outrageous.

"Your body is capable of accommodating me. Your body was made to be claimed by an alpha," he insisted, letting out an irritated snarl.

Drawing back into his knees, harsh hands gripping her hips and flipping her over. “Present,” he snarted commanding. Soft mewls left her lips as she sinked slightly into the mattress but Levi had run out of patience. Strong hands pushing between her shoulder blades to force the correct arch of her back, muffled cries left her lips as her face was buried into the mattress. No thought crossed her mind, she was devoid of any real rational capability as she felt her own wetness oozing out of her raised ass. Fingers sinking into her hips bones to secure the position and thick muscular thighs parting between her to find the perfect levalege for what was about to come.

The tip of his cock ran up and down her folds gathering the wetness and his hands spread it over his length, mixing it with his own leaking pre-cum. Thick head of his cock began to sink into her tight and wet heat. The sensation of her walls wrapping around him, the way her body tried to miserably accommodate him so willingly, sent shivers of pleasure down his spine. His breath held as it was a tight fit. Her nails sinked into the sheet as she squirm and wiggle her hips. Knees sliding over the bed, finding any way to create more space for him as he sank deeper.

He could feel her body twist and adjust to his size, her walls clenching around him in response. The feeling of being completely buried within her warmth made his breath hitch in his chest.

“Ah-Nnhg! Wait,” she cried out as the pleasure and pain mixed extremely well inside her fogged brain.

"Relax," he growled, rambling his hips forward. Both of them let out a loud moan as he finally sinked all the way in. With slow, deliberate movements, he began to move within her, withdrawing his length and then pushing back in. And not fully because he wanted, if it had been left to him, he would have been pounding the body below him in animalistic rhythm to the point her knees raised from the bed but she was definitely not accustomed to being mated by an alpha. His thick length spread her deeper and faster each time, as her own body eased out the process as she felt herself become ever wetter.

At this rate, if the rest hadn’t woken up, then they must be deaf. The squeaks of the bed, the slamming of the frame against the walls. The high detailed wet noises of skin against skin, his thick fat cock entering in her wet heap over and over again. Only adding her loud moans of pleasure that turned into winces each time he bottomed up. The pull of his cock sliding in each time deeper was maddening, to the point that her breath came out in chopped pants, finding it difficult to breathe more each time despite trying.

The grip of his hands on her hips tightened, his fingers digging into the skin possessively. His thrusts became more forceful and deliberate, his hips meeting her with every movement, driving himself deeper into her core. “Ah- Yes!” moans grew louder, echoing in the room, mixing with his growls of pleasure.

Levi's pace intensified, the sound of his hips slapping against her filling the room, the bed rocking with each powerful thrust. Time seemed to stand still, lost in the overwhelming sensations that coursed through both of their bodies.

"You're mine," he growled, his voice possessive and dominant. Both intoxicated, each on their own duty. His to fuck, bit, lick, suck anything that would him secure to be buried up as deep as possible, make sure that the head of his cock was assaulting the sweet welcoming open of her womb. And hers to slay sprawled on the bed for Levi to have his way with her, take anything she was giving and allow him to do his work.

"Yes! yes, alpha! I'm yours," she moaned back "claim me,"

Her body seemed to have a mind of its own as the eagerness of his movements told the inner instincts about what was about to come. Her inner omega knew exactly what was about to happen, preparing for something that not even herself was entirely sure about.

“Fuck! Nhg… Yes, shit!” his voice turned hoarse as he snarled in pleasure. Nothing he had been trying to provide for himself the last couple of days could ever compare to his. Anything else paled in comparison to the melting heat of her cunt, to the slippery heaven her hole was. He could feel the walls contract around him, milking him for everything he was worth. He could almost sob on how good it felt, especially after all the build abstinence. Depriving himself of this was simple torture, he wasn’t even done yet and he could already moan at the idea of repeating it all over again.

Levi's control over her was absolute as he held her down, his dominance and power asserting itself with each forceful thrust. The intoxicating mixture of pleasure and pain coursed through her veins, igniting a primal hunger within her. The sound of Y/N’s moans and pleas filled the air, driving him further into a state of possessive desire. His movements became more frenzied, his hips snapping against hers with a relentless rhythm. The force of his thrusts owned her wince, the delicate edge between pleasure and pain blurring and simply adding to the intensity of the experience.

Levi moved to hover over her, his chest pressed against her back, his hands wrapping down her arms to push her back as he thrusted in.

“Ah! Ah!” Flustering lids as her eyes rolled backwards, lips parted letting out encouraging words that would be extremely embarrassing to recall later on.

“I’m gonna breed you- Fuck- I’ll stuff you full that the only reason you won’t be leaking my cum its because I’ll knot you so fucking well” Levi growled, hips stuttering. She felt the alpha shudder above her, thrusts becoming frantic.

“Yes! Yes, please,” she moaned eagerly, unaware, unconscious. In the delicious state she was in, hardly could notice any change in the process. Only how the head of his cock hit her cervix repeatedly, preparing it to accept his load. Further spreading her legs as the knees and sobs become incoherent. The prospect of being mated and claimed but such a good alpha was enough reassurance for her drunk brain.

Mouth hanging open but produced no sound as another climax was ripped through her, her legs trembling and shaking in desperation. Feeling her own walls clamping down on Levi’s length, spamming around it. Another pulse of slick forced out of her, oozing it down and obscenely wetting even his own legs as his cock kept stretching her out. Her inner instincts were so pleased, so extremely delighted of being held down and mated properly.

Levi’s desperate groans and snarts grew harsh and breathy as his own body prepared for the peak of the act. He had no idea how long he had been there, snapping his hips, holding her down, assaulting that beautiful cunt. However, Levi had concluded a simple thought. His entire life and sense of living had been reduced to this moment. One hand reached backwards to the bottom of her belly to press and feel, feeling his own cock was getting larger.

“Mhhh! Nhg” her winces as it was already too much to handle. “No- no!” she resisted, it was too much, no amount of slick and hazed pheromones could clouded her mind to the feeling of him stretching her rim impossibly wide.

His lower abs contracted, his legs twitched with the prospect, his possessive growls reverberated on his chest as he warned her of ruining this precise moment for him. His movements became even more primal, his grip on her body tightening as he pounded into her with a commanding force. The sound of her wetness and the slap of skin against skin filled the room, echoing the intensity.

Moving in earnest with a single purpose, knotting. “W-wait!” She cried, each push had that large cockhead touching my cervix, preparing it to accept his load.

Levi’s sharp snarl pierced through her body as he feared his mate escaping on the peak of the act or perhaps moving and running his calculative pounding. Pale lips parted, heavy breath impacting on the back of her head, saliva dripping from the corners of his lips. His teeth sinked mercilessly on the back of her neck, right on her scent gland and forcing submission into her frame. Latching his jaw around the back of the omega’s neck, drawing blood out of it as it mixed with his own saliva as he was drooling of the pleasure that cursed through him.

She could no longer move, her body became a pliant frame for him to deliver powerful thrust, his knots brushed against her entrance, teasing and preparing to further claim her and fill her with his seed. The grip on her frame was almost painful as he kept thrusting forward, trying to force his knot, the swollen part of the bottom of his lengths, to finally break in.

Her mouth hung open but produced no sound as she felt him finally being able to pop inside his knot with a last trust. Now unable to pull out anymore, his cock securely pressed as deep as it could go, head right on the opening of her womb, his knot secured in her entrance making sure that all his seed remained inside. No longer pushing out, only rocking against her frame. The pleasure of being stroked so deep within at such a brutal pace had her insides fluttering. Walls contracted around Levi's cock as he circled his hips jerking. Y/N squirmed as she felt the hot liquid gushing into her. Levi's shallow pumps released more each time. Rodding out his climax, growling softly as he humped desperately the soft body beneath him. Each shallow pump released more of his hot seed deep within her. With each pulsation, she felt the overwhelming fullness.

“Ah-” She mewled out as he released her neck to press his forehead against her nape, purring content to the point she could almost feel the satisfaction smile on the corner of his lips. Quick were to arrive the soft kisses and gentle laps on the claiming mark to numb the zone.

Levi’s endearing vibrations echoed on her exhausted frame as his chest was still pressed against her back. His hands now running up and down her sides as he kissed his shoulder blades delighted of a successful mating. It was a mere wash of calmness until the heat demanded them to retake the actions repeatedly.

Levi manoeuvred them to be laying on their side, spooning her from behind as they couldn't unlock yet. The cramped sheets at the bottom of the bed frame as the heat of their connected body was enough despite the winter temperatures. He dedicated to deliver affectionate gesture, a calming reassurance after the intensity of their union. He held her close, his strong arm draped around her waist as if somehow she could still perhaps run away. The tips of his hair tickled her face as Levi provided one of his arms as a pillow for both to rest their heads. It was stupid, to the point he probably would be ashamed later on how happy his mind was about it.

Pillows were spread around the floor, half-eaten loaves of bread on the night table. Shivers ran down his body as the air was humid and cold, dense and thick with confinement. The almost transparent sheets weren’t enough; his hand searched in vain and blindness for his blankets. He sat up abruptly, suddenly ashamed of his own nudity as his body felt sticky. His hips hurt, his legs contracted as if he had run a marathon, his hair clung to his forehead because of the lack of wash, his body froze as the sweat had turned cold.

Grey eyes roamed around his room that suddenly felt foreign to him. It was a mess, and he didn’t just say that because he was a clean freak. It WAS a mess. The sheets hung wrinkled on the edge of the bed, the bed frame had moved around, there were dirty dishes and jars of water half-drunk. His stomach groaned, complaining as the necessity to ingest food over any other priorities started to retake his system. The thick saliva in his mouth was gulped down slowly as his eyes admired the naked body sleeping next to him on the bed, tired and unaware. Levi couldn’t unglue his eyes from her naked back. His fingers ghosted over the purplish inflated claiming mark on the girl’s neck, not daring to touch it.

“No…” he whispered as realisation began to sink into his brain, which was finally, after almost over a week, regaining rationality. He slightly shook his head as he felt blame crawling up to him as if it was all a big mistake. Trying to search for a glimmer of hope, he carefully hovered over her peacefully resting body to softly sniff the mark he had left behind.

Shutting his eyes closed with pain and clenching his teeth, he breathed out, “Fuck!” Everything made sense now. She had mentioned that she was from a small country village and that during her nurse training, she lived in an omegas and betas only pension. Nature was wise—why waste energy and precious heat cycles when there was nobody around to claim her? It was better to save it for a worthy occasion. The way bringing her pastries from downtown brightened up her features, his necessity to provide tea for her, the chemical reaction of his face being too close to her neck that occasion. He had triggered her presentation.

‘A late bloomer,’ he thought. Unpresented, assumed to be a beta. His instincts knew better than himself.

“What the fuck have I done?” He cursed under his breath.

“Levi?”

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[voice-of-the-tired]

(ramblings of a madman upcoming. this is borderline nonsensical but I just gotta get this out there)

ugh, I LOVE the voices parallels so much. they make me insane. and I've been thinking about opportunist/hunted and skeptic/smitten the most rn.

for the first two, in their respective chapter 2s they are survival responses put in situations where said responses are entirely reasonable, but will end up reinforcing the "status quo" if entertained. this is somewhat the case with most of the voices, but I think it's especially noticeable with them.

the opportunist has a "betray them before they ever get the chance to betray you" mentality, and would you look at that, the witch has the very same mentality! and he is CORRECT in thinking she will betray you. because she will. but by following him and what he thinks, you're just making it impossible to break the cycle of violence (this is literally the point of the thorn).

the hunted behaves... well, like prey, and uh. the beast IS a predator. he IS prey. she is hunting them. but if you just follow your instincts you'll never be able to free her, or defeat her, or leave together or learn about reconciliation or do anything else that isn't survive.

so their situations are reinforcing their behaviour, then their behaviour in turn reinforces their situation; they are stuck in a cycle. at least with the hunted you can have the skeptic to make a plan later on in the den, I guess. but it's still a fascinating thing.

I think the stubborn and the broken chapters are a bit similar to them in this regard, but those have more to do with giving meaning to the princess and choosing whether or not you should fight against it in the end. it's a bit of a different situation. skeptic and smitten also don't quite... doom themselves if you just follow them, even though they actively feed into the chapter's "concepts", because they're sort of "tools" made to complement and help you towards your goal (free the princess through skepticism or blind devotion) as opposed to survival responses.

talking about them... oh boy, skeptic and smitten in their respective chapter 2s. you can just go through with whatever the plan was (leave with her), but if you don't, they won't ever get the only thing they sought and will hurt others (and themselves) in their desperation. you take away smitten's happy ending, and you leave skeptic without answers, and to that they just. fucking lose it. going with the previous tool comparation, you could say that's what happens when a "tool" isn't useful in a specific situation any longer. it can't do anything else except for its designated function. so

when the illusion that love makes everything possible and that all you and the princess needed was each other shattered, the smitten couldn't believe it. this was everything he ever wanted and everything he knew; you are the hero. she is a damsel. you are in love. you save the damsel and live happily ever after. that's what HAD to happen, and if it didn't, then it will. he has to make it happen, because it can't and shouldn't work in any other way.

in the prisoner, if you don't take her head, you are shoved into eternal nothingness while left with only questions. what is this place? who is the narrator? what is he hiding? who is the princess? why is she locked up? how could she end the world? is there a world? where is it? why are we the ones doing this? why did the princess cut off her head? not only could they not go through with saving the princess like they tried before, but there are SO many questions, and skeptic didn't get any answers! they can't be left unanswered, the truth HAS to be unraveled. that's what he's been trying to do all along. it's the only thing that matters. they WILL keep going and they WILL figure it out.

they are too obsessed to care about anything else. they are too stuck in their tunnel vision to accept anything else. they are too far gone to do anything else.

lord help me I am going insane because of this game /pos

[lets-try-some-writing]

An interesting au-ish scenario i thought up

Unicron: Earth the spark in this physical body at one point is going to go out. It is a smelter that needs to smelt or else the spark dies i should've made a better design but eh

Earth: Oh..

Unicron: I can with ease create myself a new vessel frame i will do that when your children kill out themselves fully and then you'll be able to transform and move freely

Moon: Then what?

Unicron: We travel the three of us together what else? I have many sights i want to show to the two of you in person. And space whales are worth listening to

Moon: *touched* ...Oh

Earth:  Aww..

Unicron: Ahem.. Cat lady and murderhobo are welcome to join in too if they want i suppose..The more the merrier.. or something ..

Just.. Death and his companions..  Traversing stars together.. Celestial travelers..(potential au name?)

And imagine the potential shenanigans.. It would be especially chaotic if Mars decided to tag along with his sparkling horde *Unicron voice* This is star dust *cue rover sparklings repeating star dust*

I can see this happening eventually.

Unicron will need to break from his slumber eventually. It is the way of the universe, and as Primus becomes more active, so too must Unicron in order to keep the scales even. By the time he actually rises from his slumber, Earth's children will have long since fled to the stars. Earth will be ready for her death. That is the way it was always meant to be. She was born to fill a vacuum, and with that vacuum quickly about to be filled, there would be no need for her.

But of course, in this happier future, Moon and Unicron will have long planned for this. Sweeping in just as he'd waited to do so for so long, Moon will rush to transform and begin working to pull Earth away from her father's frame. Unicron will assist in the effort by forcefully snapping away as much of his connection to Earth as possible, hopefully loosening her with a minimal amount of pain. It will still ache and pain her, but after so long resting and recovering from the burning of Cybertron, Moon will have the strength to pry her off of Unicron just in time for him to properly wake.

Earth, now free of Unicron's frame, will quickly attach herself to Moon. Merging will not be the most fun thing in the world, that with Earth's need to take energy from whomever serves as her host. However, once it is complete, Moon's mission will be complete, and finally the Titans present can deliberate on their next choice of action.

Unicron: The humans will lament the loss of their homeworld.

Moon: They can get over it. Earth shall endure no more pain with me. My citizens will care for the both of us.

Mars: That's all well and good, but what do we do now?

Pluto: I am still very on board with the idea of shooting that Unmaker.

Mars: Pluto, no. He's not insane anymore. I think the millennia spent in his time out box did him good.

Pluto: A bold statement from the one who has yet to let go of those rovers.

Earth: Enough... my children are scattered... I wish to see them... and travel the stars.

Unicron: And your wish shall be fulfilled. Long have you endured the threat of looming doom. But no longer. I shall not come for you this cycle daughter of mine.

Earth: You call me your... daughter?

Unicron: Of course. You are of me, and it is for you that I remain here so that I might show you the stars.

Moon: Took you long enough.

With the stars awaiting them, Unicron will travel alongside his Titan companions to show them the universe he and Primus worked to create. There will be no need to kill Primus just yet. That can come later... whenever the universe needs to be rebuilt from ash and dust. Let Earth and the rest see the place he and Primus created. There is no need to rush the end.

Death comes for all in good time.

[idontbelievethehype]

Snap Back

"I have seemed to run out of excuses of why I am this way." Eventually you can't say you're just tired or you're feeling a little anxious or you want to stay home for the weekend. Everyone will know. Everyone will see what you are and that you're not better. They were all so proud of you for getting help and getting better but now you're just the same person you were in 2017 again. It's embarrassing and it's a failure. Adults should be able to just get over it but here you are, back on your bullshit.

"I've got a bad feeling that I'm about to break." When you've been through the cycle so many times you can recognize the clarity of the mania lifting. It's not a calm before a storm. It's a calm before a power outage. Everything is normal and then you feel it in your gut. You're backsliding and nothing is going to stop it.

"Is it even good for my head to keep track?" Should I even be saying 'wow I've been doing do good this year' knowing that it wont last?

"I've been waiting for my elasticity to return to the way that it was." That unstable, jerky, stimmy, wobbling person was free. It wasn't good but it was free. There was a reckless abandon to just being openly insane. Maybe feeling it for a little while will be ok.

[starheirxero]

Xero- Xero, I just thought of something- And it's fucking me up BAD- I am in SHAMBLES/POS- ITS HAUNTING ME-

Lunara tore their Eclipse apart from the inside out. They ripped him into pieces. This we know.

And it wasnt enough. It would never be enough.

They told Sun, that it lacked the satisfaction they were hoping for. It "wasn't as fun as they would've liked".

And of course it wasn't. It could never be, really.

Because revenge will never take away the scars left behind. It will never right the wrong.

As Lunar has said, "an eye for an eye makes the world go blind" !

It would never be enough. It would never heal them. And it didn't.

It only made them angrier, more bitter. It caused them to wreck havoc, until eventually, nothing was left. Until even their anger burnt out.

And they still weren't satisfied. They simply grew numb. Their anger, their scars, had eaten them from the inside out, until nothing was left.

But what if this wasn't all?

What if their anger, their self-inflicted madness, came from something else? Something worse even?

Because recently, I remembered Lunar and Eclipse's conversation!

When Lunar and Eclipse talked, and found something akin to mutual ground, Eclipse told Lunar, he was proud of them. Proud because they killed him. Proud because they "finally got it".

And suddenly, something clicked into place for me!

What if Lunara's Eclipse declared his pride for them, just as he drew his last breath?

What if, after an endless cycle of abuse and resets, of deaths, they finally freed themself?

What if they tore him apart, screaming at him? "You did this to me, are you happy? Are you satisfied?"

And what if, in his last moments, when they finally let up and he stopped screaming, he grinned at them through his own remains, telling them "Finally you get it." "You actually made me proud."

What if, even in his last moments, he still looked upon them with condescension? What if he still had that arrogant and smug tone in his voice? What if, even in death, he would not let them go?

Because god, of course this would be the final straw.

They thought, they finally ripped themself free from his control, only for him to tell them, that they became what he wanted them to be.

"You did this to me, are you happy? Are you satisfied?" "I am. You are perfect now, thanks to me."

Even in death, he has complete and utter control over them. Because they are exactly what he wanted them to be.

Maybe it drove them to insanity, as they destroyed everything in their path.

Maybe they tried to be worse because of it.

Maybe, by the time Earth meets them, they reached acceptance. Accepting, that they will never be free from his grasp.

Maybe, a small, twisted part of them felt happiness at the prospect of Eclipse's pride.

Whatever they might've felt, one thing is perfectly clear.

He will always haunt them, always haunt their narrative. He will always be the ghost looking over their shoulders, keeping a tight hold on their strings. They will never find peace in this life.

-Stardust

STARDUST I'M GUNNA SHAKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even BEGIN with how many DISEASES THIS IS GIVING ME. HOLY SHIT.

That fits in so perfectly with what we already know about Lunara I can't OVER IT. OF COURSE HIS SMUG SATISFACTION WOULD MAKE MATTERS SO MUCH WORSE. OF COURSE HIS LAST WORDS BEING THAT THEY PLAYED DIRECTLY INTO HIS HANDS WOULD PUSH THEM TO THEIR LIMIT. OF COURSE. OF COURSE!!!!!

AND THE IDEA OF THERE STILL BEING AN INKLING OF JOY FROM THAT AHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAUAHAGAHAGSJSG STARDUST YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEE HOLY SHIT

Being so utterly torn up inside because they finally got to kill Eclipse but he said he was proud of them for finally getting it but that's not the response they wanted but that validation has been something they've craved for such a long time but they don't want it anymore but they can't help it BUT— AUAGAHAGAHHH!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS GUT WRENCHING. THIS IS GUNNA HAUNT ME. I'M ADOPTING THIS INTO MY BELIEF SYSTEM ASAP ABDKWBJSDH

[meg-noel-art]

I saw your post about The Arcane Discourse drowning out the fun discussions, and I can't promise any insightful or clever commentary of my own (my brain is still mostly melted from the emotional overload of that third arc, and I really need to watch the whole season one more time so that I can properly process it on an intellectual level, and not just an emotional one), but as someone who also sees fandom as a place for sharing ideas and enthusiasm rather than arguing over who's right, I'd love to hear what you though of it all!

If you feel like sharing, what was your favourite moment of season 2? Was there a moment that really took you by surprise, emotionally? An unexpected plot point that really worked for you, or a resolved plotline that your found particularly satisfying?

Personally, one of my favourite things about the show is the attention to detail with the body language and facial expressions -- the "performance" aspect of it blows me away, even if I don't always get all of the nuances of what's being conveyed right away. One thing that really struck me, thinking about it over the past week, is that Vi and Caitlyn register to me as having incredible chemistry in their scenes together, and how wild it is that that could be the case, given that they're basically very fancy, very expensive drawings.

It's just... one of the things I love about animation is that every moment onscreen is the result of a conscious decision on someone's part, and part of what makes Arcane so incredible to me is the sheer weight of so many little decisions, made so consciously. You can feel the love and passion and dedication of the entire creative team coming through in every frame, and it's honestly kind of overwhelming to consider, regardless of whether or not every single little decision they made fully works for me.

(Also, feel free to interpret this as a prompt / permission if you're looking for it to go on a spiel about any aspect of the show at all that stood out to you in any way... I'd be curious to read whatever you have to say about it.)

Oh thank you very kindly for sending such a thoughtful ask that allows me to babble!!! ;;; this is so sweet. I'd love to answer some of theeeese:

ARCANE S2 spoilers!!

"(my brain is still mostly melted from the emotional overload of that third arc, and I really need to watch the whole season one more time so that I can properly process it on an intellectual level, and not just an emotional one)"

- Absolutely so real and true. I'd personally love to do an entire series rewatch to see how it all flows back to back!

If you feel like sharing, what was your favourite moment of season 2?

- ngl and say I wasn't on the edge of my seat the entire time for Cativi development and resolution! I really like how it all rolled out personally. Their relationship has always been kinda messy and gritty but with a throughline of deep love and respect and I think them getting a domestic and happy ending was just my absolute favorite thing. Super insanely important for wlw representation in media, even if it wasn't folks favorite aspect.

Was there a moment that really took you by surprise, emotionally?

- I've never really been super invested in the Jayce and Viktor storyline personally, but their ending was also really touching. They ended what they started together, and their (deaths???) surprised me - but the theme of 'Sacrifice' for all the main characters was present, including them.

An unexpected plot point that really worked for you, or a resolved plotline that your found particularly satisfying?

- I am in LOVE with Jinx's ending. I wasn't entirely sure what they would do with her. (She's not dead, that's all but been confirmed at this point.) But the absolute power in her freeing herself from everything and everyone in Piltover and Zaun that kept her chained to trauma is an incredible writing choice. Her healing begins when she chooses to break the cycle and leave everything behind. I think that was a wonderful moment too to illustrate that she does love Vi, in a sincere and not controlling way. When she realized that Vi will never prioritize herself over Jinx, she made the decision to distance herself for her sister's health and happiness. Their roles of caregiver and caretaker were finally reversed. That's SUCH good arc, that's SO freaking good. I know Jinx fans wanted to see maybe something a bit more idealized, with her staying in Zaun. But like... Nah, that was perfect. That was a perfect Jinx ending.

Personally, one of my favourite things about the show is the attention to detail with the body language and facial expressions -- the "performance" aspect of it blows me away, even if I don't always get all of the nuances of what's being conveyed right away. One thing that really struck me, thinking about it over the past week, is that Vi and Caitlyn register to me as having incredible chemistry in their scenes together, and how wild it is that that could be the case, given that they're basically very fancy, very expensive drawings.

- THIS YEAH. People are really pressed about not having a lot of scenes with dialogue that spelled out the emotions or conflicts, but it's an animated medium, and not primarily using the medium to it's full potential to tell the story is a pretty silly expectation. I will admit I kinda wanted a verbal apology from Cait until I... didn't? Because it wasn't necessary to understand there was catharsis between them. (And also kinda bad faith to assume it didn't happen offscreen or that it hasn't happened YET, but will).

I went to school for animation (still the dream to work on a show like this) and it's so inspiring to me to see how many animators are also good ACTORS. Looks, touches, expressions, movements are all incredibly intentional. It's not human error from an IRL actor. That's why I find a lot of caitvi's scenes super touching from a touch (lol) standpoint alone. Ep 1 of s2 had some moments I'm STILL chewing on. Or like their first kiss when Vi gets visibly nervous, and her eyes dart back and forth between Cati's lips and eyes. RAH --!! Arcane animation choices they could never make me hate you. Even if you disliked the story or characters, if you dunk on the animation, your opinion is invalid there - it's all gorgeous.

I'm also incredibly flabbergasted by the kissing animation in this season. Crazy difficult to do all that without just clipping models through each other or making it look goofy. UNPARALLED team at Fortiche, I'm so serious.

It's just... one of the things I love about animation is that every moment onscreen is the result of a conscious decision on someone's part, and part of what makes Arcane so incredible to me is the sheer weight of so many little decisions, made so consciously.

- AGREE AGREE!

I wanna add on, I think being in a fandom hiatus for a long period of time (3 years between seasons) naturally creates some communal head canons and expectations that aren't realistic for the story being told? And that's fine! I love going crazy with theories and ideas in my fandoms. But as someone who kinda took a break from Arcane after watching s1, and never really stepped into the fandom, I didn't really HAVE any expectations besides "I wonder what direction the writers are ultimately taking this" - and when I came at it with "this is their story to tell and I am witnessing it" versus "I REALLY hope they cater to this thought I had" s2 was really satisfying. I'm wondering if some fandom members need to maybe reconsider their opinion on s2 through that lense? It's not a bad thing, we all do that. But I really do think some takes/opinions are incredibly bad faith right now and based on unrealistic expectations for a series that has always been rooted in bittersweet/gray/cliffhangery type resolutions. Like that's not at all new. S1 was rife with that.

Like I fully expected caitvi to have a vaguely "aww maybe they'll be together" ending at best. Blown away we got explicit relationship status at the end. I'm always gonna be grateful for that.

I do think S2 could have *benefitted* from more episodes. It was not BAD, and it wrapped up a lot of it's threads efficiently given the time allotted. People are giving Caitlyn a lot of shit for backtracking on her Evil Arc the NEXT episode after it started ;-; like I'm actually kinda disappointed in the lack of spiraling into manipulation jhdfgjdkf SOB. But I'm an Alicent Hightower girlie, so I could have devoured like 18 episodes of seeing that fr.

More time would have made S2 *better*. But for me it's still easily and 8 or 9 out of 10 as it is.

THANK YOUOUU, so fun to share my thoughts!! :D Would love to hear in replies what others thought as long as it remains respectful!

[lunar-years]

I am having so many Roy Kent thoughts this morning. Like, just how deeply lonely has that man been, for a very long time probably but especially the past year? He doesn't seem to have...friends? Like, sure, he has his fellow coaches, and he has Jamie. But it's not exactly like Ted's been in the correct headspace for most of the season to be pal-ing around with Roy in his free time, and Beard is friends with everyone and I expect has a million and one social commitments at all times, dictated first and foremost by Jane. We get the sense in the Chelsea episode of the sort of easy rep Roy had with the staff and community there, but also that he's cut himself off largely from all those good parts of his former life; clean break since the day he left. So by now, Roy's social life is fully just work and his 10 yr old niece...and eventually, Jamie Tartt.

Before he started training with Jamie, though, I fully think Roy was isolated and depressed as all hell, probably much more than he realized or ever acknowledged. Yes, he had the Club, and sometimes Phoebe in the evenings, but the rest of the time? Come home alone to his empty house that wasn't anything like Keeley's, and try to read his book, and make his dinner. Maybe watch some footie on the telly. Yoga once a week, if he's even still going, but in a way even that's lost its charm, because it's not like he can tell the mums anything, they don't even know who he really is! Try not to think too hard about how much he misses Keeley. Rinse & repeat. And the cycle becomes so unbearable that god, does he welcome training Jamie.

But even training Jamie, at first, is just...a way to extend work, isn't it? Work, work, work so he doesn't have to think about anything else, or linger on his own encroaching loneliness with the world. We don't see him and Jamie do anything but train until Amsterdam, which is the start of the breakthrough, and then until the very end of the season. Because Roy very stringently doesn't let Jamie into other parts of his life, even though he maybe (definitely) wants to. Jamie is part of work, not part of his personal life, and he forces himself to keep those rigid boxes up even after they've begun to bleed through. It's Jamie who has to push through them, slowly force his way in past Roy's defenses. And it's a good thing Jamie is a persistent little fucker, or Roy would well and truly have had no one.

And the whole time this is happening, Roy is forced to live with the fact that he's brought this all upon himself. He left Chelsea. He left Keeley. He's cut himself off from nearly every good thing in his life, and the worst part of all is, he can't stop doing it, even knowing it's made him miserable! even knowing he can't go on like this! He still can't bring himself to consciously allow Jamie fully into his life even as he increasingly relies on Jamie and their time together to keep him afloat. They're together all of the time, but for a long while, Roy won't even call him his friend.

Just...god, Roy is the most insane blender of fierce love and arrogance and protectiveness and repression and rage and self-hatred and self-sabotage and isolation and, and!! all the things he won't allow himself to have and all the people he won't allow to love him!! We wasted so much time on Shandy and Zava this season when we should have been cracking Roy Kent's skull open like a nut and examining every inch of his brain, me thinks.

[blueishspace]

Here is a Minecraft deities/entities list I have created for myself but that I tought might help out others so I am putting it here... It's a mix canon headcanons, theories and interpretations so everyone is free to disagree with stuff, also keep in mind I am not into all these series so I am not an expert and a lot of these was made through research.

Creation deities and fundamental concepts of the universe:

Mojang/Minecraft/Microsoft - triple faced embodyiment of existance.

Hatsume Miku - canon creator of Minecraft apparently.

Clara - goddess of space.

Wendarr The Timekeeper - god of time.

Sad ist - goddess of lore (not canon but I find it funny so I am keeping it here).

Joehills - as Joehills, also a Joehills.

Molympus Slimecicle - God of magic, enchanting and crafting.

Molympus Condi - god of dimensions.

Light associated deities:

Jeb - creator and god of colours, probably inventor of light.

Aeor - reindeer deity of light and good.

BdoubleO - as god of the sun, possibly a god of rulers (he is the kingmaker after all).

Darkness associated deities:

Exor - god of darkness and evil.

The World Historian - god of the void.

Null - god of emptyness, the lack of existance.

Life/nature/earth deities:

Prime - goddess of Life and possibly Fortune.

Velara The Benevolent - goddess of health, healing, regeneration, possibly growth.

PearleascentMoon/Santa Perla - goddess of agricolture and fertility, possibly goddess of the moon. (Agricultural cycles used to be measured using the moon cycle in the past so not too unlikely).

The Goat goddess (the perimeter one)- mostly a goddess of redstone but also goddess of tomatoes and fertility.

Molympus Grizzly - god of nature and tools.

Molympus Blitzy - god of mobs and animals.

Death/rebirth gods and entities:

Kristin - goddess of death and depending on interpretation the afterlife.

PhilZa - The angel of death.

Foolish - as the totem god of undying, is also a sky god and a sea god.

Lady Irene - I am not sure exactly about her domain but I am putting her here because it fits the themes.

Shad the destroyer - could have put him with the chaos gods but this feels like a better placement.

XD - as the god of Limbo, is also the main dsmp god and possibly a god of dreams.

Chaos gods:

Dianite - god of chaos and the Nether, also a god of trade and thievery.

Entity 404 - entity of pandemonium, somewhere between god and demon.

The blood god - pretty self explanatory.

Idona the malevolent - goddess of conflict and war or murder(?). Possibly a goddess of retribution like Nemesis in greek mythology.

Drista - goddess of mischief, pranks and levity (I think?).

The egg - who tought to create a sentient parasitic red egg is either a genius or insane lmao.

Herobrine - as creator/entity/deity of monsters, also possibly a god of mist.

Sky and water deities:

Jimmy - as demigod of rivers, possibly also a Listener.

Axolotl Lizzy - demigoddess of the ocean.

S2 Joel - god of the sky.

The Sky Gods (Wilbur Soot random items videos)

Foolish - as a sea and a sky god, also totem god of undying.

Herobrine - as possibly the god of mist, also creator/entity/deity of monsters.

Order gods:

Mianite - god of order, law and the Overworld.

BdoubleO - as possibly the god of rulership, also sun god.

Cucurucho - as rule enforcer entity...thing, also Qsmp entity.

Neutral gods and entities:

Ianite: Goddess of balance and the end.

Gray forester: Grayscale entity.

Tenos The Omniscient- god of experience, knowledge and wisdom.

Eldritch gods:

Grian - Watcher.

Martyn - Listener.

Jimmy - as possibly a Listener, also a demigod of rivers.

Joehills - as Joehills, also a Joehills.

Server gods and entities:

XD - as main god of the dsmp, also god of Limbo and possibly a god of dreams.

Callahan - minor dsmp deity.

Tubbo - main god of the Bear smp.

Cucurucho and Other Qsmp entities.

[bitchesgetriches]

bitches, how do you stop thinking about money all the time?

for context: currently i live and die by my budget as i used to be very bad with money (no longer!) and sticking to this budget enables me to save 100-200 each month. i am not quite scraping by but i cannot afford many luxuries. i am expecting a solid raise in 3 months but I have no idea how much it will be exactly. several hundred a month, at least. and i find myself continuously going over my future budget in different scenario's. calculating how soon i will be able to pay off my loans depending on this raise. calculating how much i need to make to justify going back to vocal training. calculating how much i want to save vs how much to pour into my loans, depending on how much I'll make. it's driving me insane, i can't stop thinking about it, and i won't get a solid number for another month or two. can you help me manage this financial anxiety?

My sweet summer child, we are the co-owners of a financial media company that we run primarily in our free time for donations from broke strangers. If I knew how to stop thinking about money constantly none of us would be here right now.

In all seriousness, I'm so sorry you're preoccupied with this anxiety! I suspect the answer will be to distract yourself with something else (every time you think about money, go watch a puppy video instead) or to handle it the same way we recommend handling any kind of anxiety. To that end, here is our advice:

Season 3, Episode 4: “The More Money I Save, the More I’m Scared To Lose It. Can I Break the Cycle of Financial Anxiety?” 

Everything Is Stressful and I'm Dying: How to Survive a Panic Attack 

Bitchtastic Book Review: Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain

Did we just help you out? Join our Patreon!

[trafficlife]

And I Am Left Here Withering

"Can this day get any worse?" Joel had asked. The universe responded yes, three different times, each response more heartbreaking than the last. Joel would've preferred the universe proving him wrong.

word count: 1250 ao3 link

The first thing Joel heard was an explosion.

And his first instinct was to look up. Needless to say, he hadn’t completely moved on from Skynet and the TNT minecart traps. But no TNT could be spotted, thankfully. He didn’t think anybody would risk their hearts by creating a Skynet 3.0.

His second instinct was to assume that it was the Wither. If only he knew how badly that would come back to bite him later on.

His third instinct was to check his communicator, in case someone died. He didn’t see any lightning flash in the sky, which he thought was weird.

Joel pulled out his communicator, just in case he missed something, and—

Oh.

Oh, no.

For a moment, he thought he was experiencing déjà vu. He gritted his teeth and he tightened his grip on the communicator, nearly destroying it. Hot red blood pumped through his veins, speeding up his heart rate and he thought he was going to go snap. Joel behaved this way when Jimmy died first in Limited Life. When he had failed to sacrifice himself for him. But there were two major differences this time: 1) Joel wasn’t a red name (yet); and 2) it was Lizzie who died first.

He blinked rapidly. Once, twice, five times, because he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He didn’t even see the death message in the chat. Does anybody even know what’s happened to her?

Joel sent a few messages, alerting everyone of Lizzie’s sudden departure. He was right: nobody knew what happened and responded with shock. Jimmy responded with happiness. 

Joel wanted to be angry at Jimmy’s inconsiderate response but he couldn’t be. For the first time since these games started, Jimmy wasn’t the first one out. He remembered the last game. Joel wanted to sacrifice himself for Jimmy, he wanted so badly to free him from that cycle. And he failed.

He failed and he went insane and it ended up being his downfall. 

Joel was happy for Jimmy, he really was. However, it was difficult to express his happiness considering the news he just received. 

He had a suspicion that Scott was somehow involved in Lizzie’s death and that just made him feel even worse. Because, like the idiot he was, Joel just had to send his wife to kill Scott. He didn’t see lightning in the sky, so she didn’t even die in the overworld.

He remembers Lizzie telling Joel that she’d lure Scott into the End and try to push him into the void. Now it only seemed reasonable to assume that Lizzie fell into the void instead. Joel would’ve felt better if Lizzie dragged Scott down with her.

So, Lizzie was dead, Jimmy was celebrating, and Joel was craving vengeance even more than before. Though he failed his task, he would kill Scott. He was only a yellow name for now. And, there was a somewhat bright side: the canary could finally escape the mines.

—----------------------------

Unfortunately, the canary could not escape a warden and a Wither. At the same place. At the exact same time.

Joel, trying to calm down after hearing about Lizzie’s death, was killing some zombies. Mainly for experience, but also because mobs were the only things Joel could legally kill. Then, a series of explosions and some muffled shouting could be heard on the surface. Now, this has to be the Wither, he thought. Secretly, Joel hoped he would be wrong. But when went up to the surface, he found that he was, unfortunately, 100% correct. A Wither was flying in the dark sky, hot on Scar’s heels and firing skulls at him. The fact that Scar was still alive and not taking any wither damage was pretty remarkable. If only he wasn’t luring the bloody Wither to Joel. 

So Joel had to run from Scar and the Wither, hoping they’d both leave him alone. As he ran, Joel wanted to say “could things get any more chaotic?”

And then he saw a warden chasing Etho.

Apparently, the universe felt “bad” for always proving Joel wrong so it wanted to prove him right for once. He’d rather be wrong for the rest of his life. 

He just wanted to breathe for a moment and collect himself. But obviously, the universe can’t let him catch a break. Lightning flashed in the sky and Joel felt his already-fracturing heart crumble into pieces. He didn’t want to check his communicator, he just didn’t want to because he didn’t know if he could handle the truth. He saw Tango pull out his communicator, shock written all over his face. And Joel just had to look over and see—

“JIMMY!” 

Once again, he felt his sanity slipping. He was already in a horrible state but to lose his wife and his best friend, barely ten minutes apart from each other… Joel wanted to curse this world and its twisted sense of humor. 

Tears stung Joel’s eyes and his breathing became more ragged. This wasn’t happening, this wasn’t happening. He nearly fell to his knees in despair but he knew he had to keep running. And, as if the universe wasn’t already having a blast, Joel heard Grian scream.

“Mumbo, LEAVE!” Grian cried, followed by a flash of lightning and Grian screaming Mumbo’s name in distress.

If Joel had any sanity left in him, it had disintegrated the moment the second lightning bolt struck. The only reason why he was still keeping himself together was because he wasn’t red, and the bloodlust hadn’t kicked in. Never has he wanted to be red so badly, to hurt someone and get revenge and take out the rest of this bloody world. 

How could he lose three of the people he cared about in rapid succession? Lizzie died trying to kill Scott (the fact that Joel was responsible for it left a horrible taste in his mouth); Jimmy couldn’t run from the warden fast enough; and Joel barely even got to know Mumbo and he was already gone. They barely had any time to spend together because of the stupid task mechanics that separated the Mounders more than it brought them together.

He had surpassed his breaking point. He wasn’t even red but he tasted blood in his mouth and his heart was pounding in his ears. 

(Everyone he loved had withered away but Joel was still here. But he didn’t know if he wanted to be here.)

—----------------------------

The Wither was defeated but that didn’t mean shit to Joel. Not when it felt like he’d lost everything. 

Part of him wanted to wither away as well. But that would mean giving up. Joel was a lot of things but he sure as hell wasn’t a quitter. 

Skizz told Joel to win for Lizzie. Well, Joel was going to take it a few steps further and win for Lizzie, Jimmy, and Mumbo. He’d rise above this somehow. 

Exhausted and on the verge of tears, Joel walked back to his fairground, clutching a wither rose in his hand. He doesn't remember when or why he picked it up, but holding the stem gave him a little bit of stability. He couldn’t tell if he was bleeding from the withering effect, the thorns in the rose, or from his nails digging into his palms but it didn’t bother him. He had more important things to worry about, such as finding a way to kill Scott.

In the end, the florist could only send regards to himself.