#CT Scan Day

[praiseinchains]

Gratitude Journal Entry (6/27/24)

Today I'm Grateful For:

*Lucy's been having some issues the past few days and after she yelped twice yesterday my mom wanted to get her back x-rayed. Lucy isn't even two, so it was really hard for my mom to be reminding me that that's how it started with Noel (my baby girl who I lost a couple years ago). I've always been worried about losing Lucy and am probably more protective than I need to be, but I can't stand the thought of losing her. Thankfully it wasn't her back. Her groomer forgot to express her glands the last time she was in, so they were VERY full. I'm glad the vet was able to take care of it and I'm glad that my mom has agreed not to compare Lucy to Noel anymore in relation to health. Lucy isn't even two; Noel was seventeen. I want to enjoy every moment with Lucy without constantly thinking I'm going to lose her.

*For a new dream. I had so many dreams when I was growing up, but the longer I was sick, the more those dreams vanished. God had allowed all my dreams and plans to be taken from me and I can't deny that it's made me mad. But slowly God has put new dreams in my life (my dream of being a writer) and He is putting opportunities in my life that will help those dreams come true.

*My books. Like my writing, I love that books allow me a chance to escape when life is so difficult.

*That my dad loved his cookies so much! :-) I wasn't pleased by how they turned out (they didn't spread, and they looked NOTHING like an oatmeal raisin cookie) and I was all prepared for my dad to shrug and say they were just 'OK'. To my relief, he absolutely loved them and was still talking about them when he went to bed. He said they were even better than Walmart cookies (claims they're too sweet). He totally made my day! I tried a bite and wasn't too crazy, but I don't really like oatmeal raisin. As long as my dad likes them, however, that's all that matters :-)

Something I'm Proud Of:

*That I've got new motivation to lose weight. I want to look nice for a picture that'll go on the back of my book, so it gives me the drive to lose weight. I have to be careful with my exercise, however, due to my health. But I know I can do it.

Tomorrow I'm Looking Forward To:

*My CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis. I've had kidney issues for a while (I was always getting infections as a child and developed a love of cranberry juice - I'm the only one in my family who can drink it straight). I've been wanting a CT scan done for ages and I'm really happy they'll be able to look at my stomach, too, since I've had stomach issues for quite a while.

*I'm not able to eat until after my CT scan at 9 am (which is REALLY hard, since I love breakfast). But afterward my mom and I are going to Hardees :-) Hopefully I'll get in on time and be able get a breakfast sandwich.

[ghostzzy]

related to lrb

i had kidney stones when i was 10yo. but when a 10yo girl starts complaining of intermittent stomach pain and blood in the toilet, medical professionals will laugh and say “congrats on becoming a woman, go buy some pads and go home.”

well. as you may imagine, kidney stone pain is significantly different than traditional cramp pain, and also significantly worse. like unimaginably bad. like genuinely being run through with a sword, being slowly twisted, for hours and hours at a time.

so being told “this is just your life once a month for the next 30-40 years” was perhaps the most terrifying thing i had ever heard at that point. and i remember, for the first time in my life, saying “i would rather kill myself” and meaning it 100%.

i got home from the hospital - again, 10 years old - and immediately started googling hysterectomies.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneepy cozy....

[shirogane-oushirou]

had a dream that gave me the drive to FINALLY pick v.esperia back up so i can try to finish all of the endgame shit and grade farm before starting new game +.

in the dream, the v.esperia gang and i were all in the s.haikos ruins -- the whole gang, incl r.aven and j.udy and p.atty. i was these but was also accessing my gamer knowledge to be like "hey that's a trap switch, step away from it", and uh. while i was being buddies w everyone, i was also being "buddies" w r.aven WEKJSNFKJNSF we were being so flirty, and r.ita just kept looking over at us and going "ew..." sjnfdkjn :') she's great.

anyway. i find it funny that i have so many oushirou dreams but they're mainly "i found ancient merch at this random store, i'm going to buy every single thing money be damned, i Need These" with the occasional "you're meeting him in a horror dream w no logic. he is going to disappear or die or suffer horribly, and when you wake up it's either going to be like 'what the FUCK' or 'that was the funniest shit it could have possibly been."

...while i have r.aven dreams a little less often but they're ALL "just hanging w my dubiously romantic friend(?) r.aven" in different situations sdjkfknkjn.

"him and r.ita accidentally world hopped and we're hanging out (and r.aven and i are cuddling) until they randomly hop back".

"he's a 'camp counselor' at some kind of adult summer camp and he singles me out and protects me from weirdos, invites me to have lunch w him."

"he's a teacher / prof / scientist / it was vague, but we were taking shelter from a tropical storm w others and getting close in the enclosed space."

and noooooooow "i world hopped to t.erca l.umireis and could help them reach places they may not be able to normally w my Big Girthy Gamer Brain" <3

this always brings back the love i have for him, but for MONTHS i've been in such a mood of "oughhhh i want to go back to v.esperiaaaaa i was SOOOO CLOSE to ONE HUNDRED PERCENT COMPLETION, SOOOO CLOSE to NG+... but going back to games after a feww years.... bad...." so it was enough to FINALLY push me back into the game. and i'm loving it. i love this fucking game so much. this is a Real Place. To Me. and i want to finish all of the remaining shit so i can restart and go on another fun adventure w my fwiends (and UNLOCK THE R.AVEN COSTUME I MISSED BC I DIDN'T DO ONE (1) STEP IN A SIDE QUEST. RAAAAGH.) and do it with all of the grade shop perks applied ahehehehe.

[yangjeongin]

hi i'm still alive i've just been too lazy to log in it's soooo much work

[buntress]

so uh update, reqs might be extra slow bc my boyfriend has had to go to the hospital today. He's fine, just was having a rly rly bad time after a seizure and we needed to pop by. Disabled Things™️ yknow?

I'll see if i can work on them tonight, but if i cant i cant. Ily all be safe take your meds stay out of the hospital lol

[stitch-me-not]

Fabulous way to welcome my 28th year around the sun; sitting in a&e with post concussion 🙈

[kiestrokes]

ok listen, in an attempt to feel more like myself I was browsing my wip gravyard (the second one 😶‍🌫️) and every time I come across the joke fic I wrote for B's birthday last year I chuckle.

EMPHASIS ON JOKE because I am not here to argue with anyone esp today: it's about Jay Park as a gyno- there was this tiktok story about how a woman whacked her gyno is the face with her vag. and I sent it to B "why did my brain go: Jay Park is the gyno" and made their ass wheeze for a solid minute (maybe five) on voice note.

It's been a year and its still so fucking funny, but also the smut is hot? Like goddamn I need to rework this for a more socially accepted idol. Because I repeat: GODDAMN.

[possumteeths]

My iud was all fucked up way outta place hurting me so i had to remove and replace and motherfucker what i have never been in so much pain its so much worse than the first time like good fucking god how are u not idk HELLA MEdICATEd I took 1200 mg ibuprofen, a fucking vidocin and tylenol and tbe pain is genuinely indescribable and also im bleeding and also i got way too good of a look at the needle they shoved up my pussy

[serkonans]

the way we handle medical leave in the states even for people with good benefits is cruel

[arlo-venn]

Can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it, but I’ve started having pain on the *left* side of my abdomen (opposite gallbladder) these last few weeks, around the spleen region. It comes and goes but whenever it returns, it’s a little worse. If I push on it and then let go, it leaves a burning feeling inside for quite some time.

I’ve been trying to ignore it, but reminded myself that ignoring issues like this is what got me into the position I’m in to begin with, so I messaged my GI about it. Idk if GIs handle spleens, but he had recently asked if I had pain on that side and I said no, so I went to him with the update.

Why does this man feel the need to remind me that my spleen was fine in the CT I had done 7 months ago? 1) I know that and 2) I wasn’t having pain there 7 months ago. So how is that relevant?? You know what was also apparently fine on that CT seven months ago? The gallbladder that now needs to come out. So like???

[lil-gremlin-gal]

NaClYoHo Days 23 & 24

Day 23

usual daily dishes

second doctors appointment this week

sent trial return to work forms to doctor for signing/review

called sister to check in

put in an order to take advantage of the ordinary's slowvember sale

updated Christmas shopping/budget list

Today (day 24)

usual daily dishes, laundry

threw away some expired food

threw away dead table flowers

wiped bathroom counter

moved meat from freezer to fridge so I can try to cook dinner tomorrow

I haven't felt too much more sucky than normal the last couple days, but in addition to thyroid problems and whatever undiagnosed dysautonomic problem I'm having, I also have you-feel-shitty-disease (ME/CFS), so my normal "feeling normal" is already pretty sucky. If you feel 100% normally and drop to 30%, you feel it! But if you feel 35% normally and drop to 30%, maybe it doesn't impact you as much? idk

Did lots of sleeping and resting yesterday and today, and will hopefully perk up back to normal next week to finish the month strong.

[undeadhousewife]

Sometimes throwing up IS the answer and I'm so tired of fighting it. Especially with how my crohns is, like it affects my stomach way more than most people realize. I just absolutely hate the stigma of throwing up. I constantly see posts from mutuals who have tummy issues who spend time on the toilet and I never, ever see posts about people with my issue.

[racingliners]

.

[wizardnuke]

I HAAAAVE BEEN AT THE ER FOR TEN HOURS

[theorderofthetriad]

this whole ordeal of falling into a hole on new years and getting absolutely walloped but not actually injured is something i KNOW is going to be so funny later, but i feel like absolute CRAP right now so i can't really appreciate it