#CR 17

[justavulcan]

Airmark's Guide to Planar Vegetables: Gray Lily of the Waste

Legend has it that the first gray lily of the waste was a dryad whose lover died. She pursued him into Hades, but there the emotional climate of the environment tainted and twisted her love and longing into its worst form: obsession, possessiveness, and even abuse. When she eventually died in Hades, her body took the form of the first gray lily.

Gray lilies of the waste are monochromatic beauties; huge white flowers with soft gray innards protrude from their black stems and leaves. Their immense size does little to dissuade the most ardent of florists from obsessing over their beauty, but these flowers are deadly to cultivate and keep.

Sentient and filled with a longing and loneliness little can assuage, gray lilies obsess over acquiring 'paramours' to keep by their side to provide the briefest flicker of contentment in an existence otherwise miserable with solitude. That their grasp proves fatal to all but the most psychically resilient or that they quickly turn to using their lovers as shields do not matter; only the longing does.

Gray lilies prove highly conversational with Speak With Plants, able to converse about a variety of subjects including the local area and its denizens. Their preferred topic of conversation, of course, is themselves, and they are very persistent about trying to convince visitors to remain with them 'just for a season or two...'

[drawsmaddy]

[ID: A digitally coloured ball point pen drawing of Caleb Widogast from Critical Role. He is visible from the neck up, looking to the right with a slightly nervous expression. He is covered in dirt. End description.]

Been a little over five years since I started watching Critical Role and did my very first piece of fanart of Caleb so I did a little dirt wizard doodle in celebration!

[beauregardlionett]

YOU

are going to judge

ME

for finger motions?

Hold on, everybody - stop the game!

Laura Bailey

just shamed ME for a

sexual finger motion,

AT THIS TABLE,

after THREE

and a HALF

MOTHERFUCKING YEARS!

I have seen everything!

Resume the game!

[utilitycaster]

I do think it's worth calling out that a lot of the arguments in favor of killing the gods treat their worshipers as the "haves" amidst a sea of "have-nots" and that's just...flat out false in Exandrian canon, in addition to obliquely pinging certain antisemitic canards I am unfortunately attuned to by necessity, even though I suspect that's largely unintentional.

There are powerful adherents to the gods, but there's a lot of worshipers who gain nothing but whatever meaning they personally draw. We saw the Schuesters in Hupperdook in C2, who were imprisoned for following the Changebringer within the Empire, and seemed to have no cleric or paladin powers; nor, to our knowledge, does Imahara Joe. Technically we learned that Molly did sort of get something out of the Moon Weaver, but he didn't know that during the campaign. Grog thinks The Stormlord is pretty neat but hasn't gotten any powers from him. We saw worshipers of the Lawbearer and Dawnfather in Whitestone and worshipers of the Wildmother elsewhere in Tal'Dorei during Campaign 1, again mostly without any specific powers. In this episode and during the Team Wildemount arc we've seen no shortage of people simply going to temples as a place to seek comfort and meaning. Hell, the Player's Handbook outright says it: "Not every acolyte or officiant at a temple or shrine is a cleric. Some priests are called to a simple life of temple service, carrying out their gods' will through prayer and sacrifice, not by magic and strength of arms."

I think a generous read is that a lot of D&D players who aren't playing a mechanically divinely connected character don't make their character religious in any way, and so it becomes easy, with a PC-focused mindset, to assume that the only religious people are clerics, paladins, and the handful of deity-connected subclasses from other classes, but that isn't true and never has been in Exandria.

[liltaireissocute]

[PERC'ILDAN]

the undisclosed desires in your heart

[thirdtofifth]

Quarut Medium construct (inevitable), lawful neutral Armor Class 18 (plate) Hit Points 189 (18d8 + 108) Speed 50 ft. Str 20, Dex 13, Con 23, Int 14, Wis 17, Cha 20 Saving Throws Dex +7, Int +8, Wis +9 Skills Perception +9 Damage Immunities poison, psychic; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks that aren't adamantine Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, stunned, unconscious Senses truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 19 Languages all Challenge 17 (18000 XP) Magic Resistance. The quarut has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. Rapid Reconstruction. At the beginning of each of the quarut's turns, if it has at least 1 hit point, it regains 15 hit points. Immutable Form. The quarut is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form. Innate Spellcasting. The quarut's spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 19). The quarut can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components: At will: dimension door, dispel magic, dominate person, haste, hold monster, locate creature 1/day each: forcecage, teleport, time stop Actions Multiattack. The quarut makes two slam attacks. Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 15 (3d6+5) bludgeoning damage plus 31 (7d8) force damage.

Quaruts are inevitables tasked with preserving the integrity of time and space. They usually target wizards who make excessive use of time stop and wish spells; however, the quaruts have no qualms about using such spells themselves. Their bodies are covered in finely-etched plates, beneath which are various intricate mechanical time pieces. Their head contains an hourglass whose glowing sands constantly flow upward for some inexplicable reason. Quaruts mercilessly hunt down spellcasters who flagrantly violate the laws of time and space, always working alone to bring down their quarry.

Originally from the Fiend Folio.

[marvelousbelladonna]

Laura said “absolutely no” to Sam shaving a mustache

[ttrpgeewhiz]

oh my god

oh my god look at him he--!

WAIT

AT MOST HE'S 13??

[cringefaecompilation]

okay actual serious ep80 thoughts now

first things first: "tHeY didn’t LeArN aNyThInG" feels like it’s really reductive. i think people came into this expecting all of their communication problems to be insta-fixed so that they can be a perfect cute little found family and that's just not how bh rolls. i do think that it was a much needed diversion from them constantly forcing themselves into third gear (along with the wok sledding, everyone forgets the wok sledding) to stop the bad guys. other people have pointed out that if not given any instructions they’ll be fine with opening up to each other and being genuine, but they froze and immediately started getting antsy the moment they were told to. i just think that’s funny.

i don’t think imogen and laudna are hypocrites. rather they’re very much stuck with their own traumas and assume that their experiences are universal. imogen thinks she was born cursed and that everything in her life has just been set up to punish her for something she inherently deserves. there’s an abusive cunt off the port bow trapped in laudna’s head that she literally had to force herself to walk away from (and make saving throws to stop) to not be forced into hoovering up that shard without her consent.

they both saw fearne shrug off dozens of times she could have died horribly or faced terrible consequences and get off scott-free and missed the forest for the trees. they want her to take power because she can actively consent to it rather than be slapped with insane power at a young age and then forced to course-correct, which probably explains why they got so angry at ashton for "tricking" her: they saw it as them taking something she could use to better herself.

and on that note, laudna telling fearne she’s glad she could make her choice didn’t feel like it was backhanded, envious, bitter, none of that. i think she genuinely does see this as fearne making a choice on her own behalf in a way that she is incapable of.

the whole kerfuffle with callowmoore didn’t make me hate the ship, but it did make me even less fond of the fans of it given the shippers who turned on ashton saying all kindsa nasty shit that got disproved in the 4sd. i’ve always preferred the idea of a slowburn with these two because ashley has said fearne is unsure of how she would handle love or a relationship herself and now taliesin has said that ashton finds themselves unlovable.

as much as i joke and bitch, i don’t think that everyone’s been "forcing the ship" so much as they’ve been assuming that the constant flirtations between the two of them will make them more comfortable with taking the shard and meeting in the middle. the two of them deciding to be friends for the moment is far superior and makes the slow burn way more likable because now it’s something on their own terms rather than them getting together because they were told to.

irregardless of it stays platonic or develops into romance "callowmoore is abusive" is a terrible take no matter if you like the ship or hate it and i hate that it got blown so far out of proportion anditmademelegithateanothershipbutlikethatsnotimportantrightnowandidontwantpeopletogetmadatmeokay.

and yet! there’s always going to be this huge discomfort of the fact that fearne was always unsure about taking it, didn’t explain why she was unsure to anybody expect for chetney (and orym should have fucking said something), and then just decided to take it just so people would stop hassling her about it. she wasn’t forced into taking it but she certainly was backed into a corner about it. she did not ever want it but she saw that it was making everyone really upset and took it because hey, might as well.

"we all might as well" is something everyone’s been saying and while everyone else has their reasons for making the best out of a terrible situation, fearne notably did not have the exact same problem that most of them shared (i have this insane power inside me threatening to blow at any given second that i just have to live with on a daily basis). she wasn’t even aware of the raw deal she had been saddled in her existence with until it was pointed out to her!

long story short the main problem it seems that bh has to get over is just assuming they know what's best for each other. it should’ve been fcg and i will die on that hill. let ashton have a robot sister.

[jibril-thelibraryangel]

“You see an older figure-”

Oh god no please don’t be Otohan

“An elven man with long silver hair”

THATS WORSE THATS SO MUCH WORSE

[sansundertale14x1]

Day 17 of drawing CRK characters randomly: Alchemist Cookie!

Finally, a cookie I’m proud of….shes so adorable!

Day 18 // Day 16

[occidentalavian]

[3amclothesmonster]

White Lily Cookie update - Main / Home screen [Not official]

Pfp version below [Credit if used]

[fairymonk]

THAT IS SUCHA WILD RANGE OF AGES SAM

[thirdtofifth]

Hellfire Golem Large construct, lawful evil Armor Class 20 (natural armor) Hit Points 241 (21d10 + 126) Speed 40 ft. Str 25, Dex 14, Con 22, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 14 Damage Immunities fire, poison, psychic; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks not made of adamantine Damage Resistances acid, cold Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 11 Languages Infernal Challenge 17 (18000 XP) Body Of Flame. A creature that touches the golem or hits it with a melee attack while within 5 feet of it takes 10 (3d6) fire damage. Illumination. The golem sheds bright light in a 30-foot radius and dim light in an additional 30 feet. Immutable Form. The golem is immune to any spell or effect that would alter its form. Magic Resistance. The golem has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. Magic Weapons. The golem's weapon attacks are magical. Water Susceptibility. For ever 5 feet the golem moves in water, or for ever gallon of water splashed on it, it takes 1 cold damage. Innate Spellcasting. The hellfire golem's spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 16). The hellfire golem can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components: At will: burning hands, fireball, produce flame 3/day each: flame strike Actions Multiattack. The golem makes two slam attacks. Slam. Melee Weapon Attack: +13 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 20 (3d8+7) bludgeoning damage plus 16 (3d10) fire damage. If the target is a creature or a flammable object, it ignites. Until a creature takes an action to douse the fire, the target takes 5 (1d10) fire damage at the start of each of its turns. Fire damage dealt by this attack, or from being on fire from it, ignores resistance to fire damage.

These massive golems resemble a walking funeral pyre, though one that burns hotter than any in the mortal world. They are created by devils with a pyromaniacal bent, and in fact can only be successfully created in the Nine Hells, with special clay found only there. They are not mindless, but are unsubtle either, preferring to burn their foes to death as directly as possible, blasting them with fireball and flame strike spells while closing in to melee. 

Originally from the Fiend Folio

[marvelousbelladonna]

The tower falls