#COMFORT

[only-knives]

all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.

[super-usual-dude]

[kiyomimooon]

[comfortfrogblog]

you will feel so alive again.. like so incredibly alive. i dont know when that will be but it will be. u are gonna feel so alive that ur cheeks hurt from smiling oh man oh man i promise that day is coming. you do have a future, you do have good things coming, and you’ll survive everything that’s thrown at you until you reach that day

[octoberloved]

[artbylittlebug]

[zimswife]

Stickers and kitties are such a pawsome combo! ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

This is Max, the sticker collector kitty ฅ(ᵔ꒳ ᵔマ.ᐟ

[binmeister]

You okay?

Saja boys x Reader (Gender neutral)

How the boys might comfort you when you’re stressed / have a bad dream / etc

CW: not proofread, comfort / fluff mostly, vague-ish depictions of panic attacks / similar break downs

Jinu is the most likely to feign sleep, likes to keep up the routine but never partakes in it for too long because sleeping leads to vulnerability. Lays on his stomach beside you and closes his eyes, just listening to you drift off beside him. So when he feels you stir beside him with a deep sigh he instinctively turns his head so he can peer at you to check what’s up. 

His eyes widen when he realises what’s going on, there’s tears streaming down your face but you’re not actively crying - just laying there and an occasional sniffle or two comes out but your eyes are just leaking tears that have no real meaning. He raises an arm out and lightly lays it over your waist, voice sounding raspy after hours of not using it and he shuffles his body closer to yours so you can feel his presence.

“You okay..?” He asks as he waits for you to notice him. You’re staring blankly at the ceiling above as tears continue to fall and you don’t really answer him directly, just a vague motion of a nod as you try to calm down from whatever nightmare you must’ve experienced. He waits a few more minutes, the arm over your waist lead to his hand gently rubbing his thumb against your waist - his little way of helping ground you if you needed it without being too overwhelming.

“..I’m okay..” You finally say after a beat of silence. You feel him lift his body up slightly with his other arm so he can look at you properly, the hand by your waist moves up now and gently wipes some of tears rolling down the side of your face. He hums quietly and waits for you to look at him, your eyes drift over slowly and manage to catch his face in the dimly lit room and he doesn’t force any further contact on you. Just waits.

“Bad dream..?” His voice is still low as he finally asks that now that he’s satisfied that he’s wiped away most of your tears, you sniffle a little and shrug but he knows. Knows that it must’ve been a stress induced dream or just some nightmare that’s already slipped out of your memory. He doesn’t tell you to go back to sleep, just rests with his head propped up on his arm as he keeps his touches gentle, light, just in case you wanted to pull away. When your hands reach up to grab onto his and just hold it to your chest, he doesn’t fight back and lets you keep him there. 

He watches as your eyes flutter closed again, hums a little ‘mhm’ when he hears you whisper ‘thank you..’ and continues to just exist beside you. Remind you that he’s there without needing to actively do anything about it. When he’s sure you’ve drifted back to sleep he shifts and lays back down, closing his eyes as well as he feels your heart beat steadily slow down as you slip back into a deeper and calmer sleep.

Abs is used to making you laugh, he really likes how sometimes if you laugh too hard there’s tears at the corner of your eyes and then occasionally you’ll complain that you almost pissed yourself as you swat at him lightly. What he still struggles with is when your mood suddenly plummets after a laughing fit, like the high of the rollercoaster had gone on too long and you suddenly plummet.

Tears that were from joy steadily turn into hiccups and wheezes of distress and he holds you in his arms as you cry out. Your chest heaves as you try to calm yourself but it makes it worse and when you push at him to give you some space so you can breath, he lets you. His arms loosely wrapped around you still as you try to collect yourself but you can’t stop the tears and the panicked breaths leaving you as you try to calm down from your sudden crash.

“I got you, I got you..” He whispers to you, his fingers occasionally give you a gentle squeeze to remind you that ‘hey, I’m here still’ and it’s ticklish but you’re not able to laugh as you’re still struggling a little to get yourself sorted. It goes on for a little while of him trying to reassure you that he’s got you and you trying your best to calm down, you’re progressively getting more frustrated at yourself for suddenly crashing which makes it worse and you start crying harder because of your frustrations now too.

“You’re alright, hey, I got you- okay?” Abs says as he lets you cry harder, doesn’t actively denounce your feelings - he may not completely understand what this was about but he lets you feel the things you need to as you very steadily start to calm down. Deep wheezes starting to be light breaths and minutes that felt like hours finally pass and you’re finally steadily mellowing out. There’s snot and tears and you groan at how your nose is blocked, making a small complaint about it and sniffling to try and get some of the mucus out.

He finally shifts one of his arms from it’s place wrapped around you so he can wipe a few of your tears away, pinching your cheek in the process as he smiles down at you a little. When you whine at him and he mentions that he’s always surprised when this happens, you glare at him and blow air through your nose in some weird act of defiance and he cracks up laughing. 

“Don’t laugh at me!” Your voice cracks as you say it and he laughs even harder before he steps away from you to grab you some tissues, handing them to you and letting you blow your nose as you grumble at him in annoyance. He likes when you bounce back, able to pick right off from where you were laughing before and it’s like you’ve completely forgotten about your sudden breakdown. “You’re so strange.”

Mystery is observant, everyone can agree on that. He takes note of all the little shifts in your behaviour, when you take too long on a task that you normally don’t pay much attention to, when you bite the inside of your cheek when you’re progressively getting frustrated at something, the little ticks and tells that let him know that you’re not okay. Knows well before you do when you’re stressed out.

When he sees you practically gnaw on your bottom lip he raises a hand and gently brushes a finger over your lips, making you pause as you process what’s going on and your teeth let go of the squishy flesh. He smiles at you and will quietly mumble ‘don’t do that’ as he tries to get you to focus on something else. When you’re picking at the skin of your lip he does the same thing, raises a hand and gently pries your picking fingers away from your lip before you can succeed in making it bleed.

There’s a time you complain at him because you needed to pick at your skin or bite at your lip so you could calm yourself down, anxious habits that you can’t help especially when you’re feeling stressed so he tells you to pick at him instead. He can’t help the cheeky smile on his face as you stare at him with a look of that screamed ‘HUUUH?’ before he pulls your hands to his shirt and just tells you to fiddle with that instead of harming your skin. 

If your hand still instinctively raises to pick at the skin of your lip, he progressively gets less gentle as he grabs your wrists and pins it to his chest or at one point straight up lays on top of you and weighs your arms down with his body weight so you’re not able to pick at your skin. When you complain about it he gives you a light peck on the lips and tells you he’ll do some research to find a better alternative for you to self-soothe with, he ends up with a few fidget toys that he hands you when he can tell you’re about to do something you shouldn’t.

About to pick out your hair? Hands you a picky pad. You’re trying to scratch and pinch your arms? Hands you a stress ball. Picking at your lip? Hands you a fidget cube and points to the pullable joystick. He doesn’t reprimand you when you fall on bad habits, just tries his best to give you an alternative so you don’t hurt yourself further. 

Romance still has a pretty decent understanding of emotions, or he likes to think he does in comparison to the other guys. So when you’re beside him on the couch and he can visibly see you shrink in on yourself as your eyes glaze over a little and your breathing becomes slower? He picks up the TV remote and lowers the volume of whatever’s currently playing before turning to look at you and waits.

Waits to see if you want physical touch, or if you want him to go away, or if you need him to talk. He just waits until you’ve managed to figure out what’s going on before he takes any actions. He watches as your hand instinctively reaches out to hold his and he gently squeezes your hand to let you know he sees you, then he waits again to see if you shy away or if you need more contact. When you gently tug on his hand and your other arm comes up, instinctively reaching out for a hug he finally lets himself be close to you as he wraps you up in his arms loosely.

He waits again, wants to know if you want a tight hug or just a light one and when he feels your head rest against his chest and no further pressure happens - he keeps his hug light as he shifts so you can rest better on his body. He lets you pick the pace and what you want from him, if you’re non-verbal he waits for you to give him a sign and sometimes you manage to bring yourself to a place where you can quietly ask him for something - he does it in a heartbeat.

“Can you play with my hair..?” You’d asked so softly he thought he imagined it, but his body is on auto-pilot as he brings up one hand to gently run his fingers through your hair and play with the ends of the strands. He doesn’t say anything as he does it, quietly hums when you ask him to do something but if you ask him to just talk just so you can hear his voice - he’ll ramble about whatever comes to mind just so you’re comfortable.

“Abs and Mystery were rough-housing the other day, like always,” Slight pause as he tries to keep his volume in check when he sees your brows furrow a little when he got too loud, instinctively lowering his voice again as he lightly pecks your forehead in apology. “Sorry love.. but they got caught by Jinu, you should’ve seen the look on his face when they broke that vase someone gave us as a house-warming gift.”

He feels your body shake a little as you laugh quietly into his chest, let’s his own little chuckle out as he continues to provide you soft comfort until you pull yourself off of him when you feel content or if you snuggle in closer because you want to stay close. He’ll attune himself to whatever you need of him at that moment, no questions asked.

Baby pretends to be aloof, pretends he doesn’t care and that he doesn’t notice things but he does. He notices when you seem to be overwhelmed by too many noises in the room so he’ll instinctively lower the volume on his phone if he’s playing a game on it, or if the TV is blaring too loudly he’ll lower the volume. He keeps a pair of headphones on hand for when you visit just in case you need something to help muffle the noise.

So when there’s a time where you’re hanging out in his room as he busies himself with playing some type of game on his PC, he notices the way you’ll shift in the bed and look like you want him to be nearby. The next time you visit he’s got a chair by his desk just for you in case you want to be close by, which works out wonderfully for that day because he hears it. Hears you shifting from the bed as you quietly walk up and tuck yourself into the chair beside him, curling up into yourself with your knees to your chest and he notices from the corner of his eye that you’re looking at his hands.

He doesn’t say anything, just quietly alt + F4s whatever game he’s playing and swaps to something where he doesn’t need both his hands and sits back as he gives you his free hand without any complaints. There’s a little smirk on his face but it’s not condescending by any means, it’s a little bit of ego for sure though as he realises that you just want some kind of comfort that only he can provide. When he feels your hand gently grab his and place it on your leg he doesn’t say anything, just gives your knee a light squeeze and rests it there as you continue to watch him play games.

He lets the game audio play over his speakers and he’ll quietly pop open a YouTube video for you to watch on the side, letting the little overlay pop up and makes sure to drag it over on your side of the screen so that you can choose which thing you want to focus on while he idly plays his game. 

“Thank you..” He pauses for a moment, fingers hovering over the keys he needs to use for the game he’s on and he just gives you a low ‘It’s okay..’ and gives you another reassuring squeeze on your knee as you settle down and simply enjoy each other’s company.

[sleepyangelkami]

smut's fun. have you ever read soul crushing, heart aching, head throbbing comfort that makes your eyes burn out of your head to the point where you just have to crawl into a ball because your inner child feels so safe? haha... yeah smuts fun.

[sara-the-wizard]

A Year and 5 Days

No words, just emotions. ✝💙❤️

[radio96]

CUTEEE

hii !

i saw ur post about fluffy Logan oneshots so i have one :D if this is not what ur looking for, pls feel free to ignore !!

maybe touch starved reader who constantly clings to Logan and he asks about it and reader gets nervous that they pushed a boundary and stop only for Logan to be like “wtf no i love when u cling to me, pls keep doing it”

no pressure at all, have a nice evening / morning !!

A Soft Place to Land

a/n: Hi Anon! Thank you for your request. I am so sorry this has taken so long, life went kind of crazy for a second, but it's sorting itself out now! I hope you enjoy the drabble <3

Logan Howlett x TouchStarved!GN!Reader

CW: some mentions of jealousy, reader seems pretty anxious, just some good ole' fluff

Watching how Scott and Jean held each other, or even how the kids would comfort one another, you could feel jealousy curling around your mind at the absentminded tenderness in every touch. You’d spend countless nights awake, craving the touch of another while you wrapped your arms around yourself, fingers pressing into your skin just to feel something.

It gnawed at you, quiet and constant, slipping into the quiet spaces of your mind when you were alone. You’d close your eyes and imagine what it might feel like to rest your head on someone’s shoulder, to let the warmth of another’s touch seep into your skin and quiet the restlessness within you. It was always fleeting, a memory of something you've only had in fleeting moments.

Then there was Logan. The brooding, gruff exterior everyone seemed to shy away from became your refuge. It started as fleeting touches, knuckles grazing against his when you walked, shoulders bumping when you sat together. Before you knew it, you found yourself constantly lingering in his presence, your touch becoming more purposeful. Tracing shapes into the palm of his hand during long meetings or leaning on his shoulder after a mission, his head resting on top of yours. It was rare for you to be seen far apart, the school knew you were bound to be nearby if Logan was around.

You’re not sure when it started, the constant burn beneath your skin only satisfied by his touch. You started finding ways to get him to touch you, asking for help with your hair or applying bandaids. Now, you stood before Logan with a bracelet in hand, feigning an excuse of needing help to put it on. You didn’t miss the way Logan notched a brow at your request, eyeing the bracelet he knows you’ve put on yourself countless times. You fiddled with the jewelry in your palm, gaze nervously darting around his face as a familiar pit forms in your stomach at his hesitation. A heartbeat later, Logan opens the door wide for you to enter, knuckles grazing as you pass him. 

Logan’s fingers daftly inspect the jewelry before draping it over your wrist, each graze of his fingers deepening the blush on your cheeks. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears and from the smirk on Logan’s face, you had a feeling he could hear how it quickened. 

“Why you always around me, bub?” Logan asks nonchalantly as he clasps the bracelet, fingers still ghosting over your arm. 

You swallow, feeling the words catch in your throat as you search for a response. You hadn’t considered Logan noticing, much less him asking you outright. The question hangs in the air as his eyes search your face, something curious and unguarded in them. You struggle to find a response that doesn’t make you sound desperate and scare him off.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to,” You murmur, taking your arm away from his touch, clutching it to your chest as if to slow your racing heart. You look away, face burning beneath the weight of his gaze. “I’ll stop. Must be kinda creepy, constantly hovering around you.” You force a weak laugh.

A beat passes, the crushing silence presses against your chest, wrapping around you until each breath feels like a struggle. When you gather the courage to meet his eyes again, his expression has softened, the usual guarded look slipping. He shifts closer, bringing his face level with yours, and the intensity in his gaze holds you captive. 

“Don’t do that,” Logan’s breath fans your face with each word, mouth inches from yours. “Ain’t nobody said I didn’t like it.” His words are rough, each one lifting a weight from your chest. His eyes dart away to study the floor as his cheeks flush a deep crimson. “Ain’t used to people hanging around this much but… I don’t mind so much with you.” 

A pause before he shrugs as if trying to shake off the weight of his words. “Guess you don’t bother me as much as most folks do.” Logan straightens but doesn’t step back. His face remained aloof, but his cheeks were still rosy as vulnerability oozed from his gaze. “So quit worrying about ‘creeping me out.’ You’re good.” 

Logan’s kind words curled around your heart, a smile gracing your lips as you look at him. “So what I’m hearing is you're saying I can bug you even more now?” You joke, nudging his shoulder. 

He scoffs, dramatically rolling his eyes. “I wouldn’t push it, bub.”

---

Likes and reblogs are appreciated :)

[yagirlyubnub]

[thatlotuscookie]

jinu from kdh? it can be anything but maybe he goes too far with his teasing n u and him arent dating? and you actually feel hurt so he apologizes in his own, fluffy way

✧･ﾟ: a/n : ooh my GOODNESSS i love kdh. i watched it recently and im on my knees for part twoo PLZZZZ. love jinu and abbyy

✧ Title: ✧ Golden, huh? ✧ ✧ Characters: Jinu x Reader, Mentioned: Saja Boys, Huntrix, Bobby + Miraa n Zoey ✧ Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Idol AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort ✧ Rating: T ✧ Summary: As the leader of Huntrix, you're used to tough competition but when Saja Boys’ hit Your Idol, you've been overworking yourself to the brink of exhaustion, and when Jinu visits you while you practice one night, things just get tense. ✧ Content Warnings: Emotional teasing, mild injury (sprained ankle), idol rivalry, mutual jealousy, slowburn tension, fluff at the end !!

You’d been practicing alone for hours.

The studio was quiet except for the hum of the speaker and your own voice echoing off the mirrors. The chorus of Golden rang out again, soft and strained, as you pushed through the choreography one more time. You were tired. no, exhausted. but you couldn’t stop. Not now. Not after everything.

Not after Your Idol blew past Golden on every chart like it was nothing.

Saja Boys were everywhere. Their stage presence, their music, their absurd fan numbers. their stupid merch. It was all anyone talked about. Your girl group, Huntrix, was working hard, really hard, but it wasn’t enough. Not this time. And somewhere deep down, you knew it. But you weren’t ready to give up.

That’s when the door opened.

You didn’t look right away figured it was Bobby, or maybe Zoey and Mira checking on you. But then a familiar voice rang through the empty room. That stupidly cocky, know-it-all edge voice.

“Golden, huh?”

You froze, sweat dripping down your temple. You turned slowly, heart already sinking.

Jinu.

Of course.

There he was, leaning against the doorway with his usual smug expression, arms crossed pretentiously. His eyes flicked lazily over the studio, then back to you.

“Didn’t know this was a museum,” he said, stepping inside like he belonged in the damn room. “Didn’t realize people still practiced that one.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. “What do you want?”

He shrugged. “Just heard something down the hall. Thought maybe the ghosts of flop comebacks were haunting the place.”

Your jaw clenched.

He smiled wider, clearly enjoying himself. “Relax. I’m just saying, not everyone gets to have their song go viral. It’s not personal.”

You stared at him.

He didn’t even blink. “I mean, maybe it is. Better hook. Better choreo. Better group. It happens.”

And something in you cracked.

You didn’t cry. You didn’t scream. But your face sorta gave it away, your eyebrows furrowing just for a second.. That little shift in your eyes. The hurt. The frustration. The exhaustion suddenly starting to crash down on you.

Jinu saw it. He went quiet. Just stood there like he’d been slapped.

You didn’t give him the chance to backpedal or say sorry. You turned off the music, grabbed your stuff, and pushed past him with a cold, mumbled “Excuse me.”

He didn’t follow you, but he didn't forget that look on your face, either.

Later that night, you were limping down the stairs outside the building, ankle sore from the countless nights you spent practicing your choreography. Maybe a twist, maybe worse. You were alone. Hungry. Miserable. You hated that you let him get under your skin. Hated that his words stuck harder than the praise you’d gotten from your fans, and from Mira and Zoey.

You didn’t even notice the footsteps behind you until a voice muttered:

“Tch. You walk like an injured penguin.”

You spun around, glare loaded and ready. “Seriously? Again?”

Jinu stood at the foot of the stairs, hands in his pockets, frown tugging at his lips. But he didn’t look smug or pretentious this time. He looked… awkward.

“Didn’t think you’d actually hurt yourself,” he muttered. “Who am I kidding, you work too hard.”

You didn’t answer. Just turned to keep walking.

“Wait,” he said, tone shifting slightly. “Here.”

You blinked as he crouched down in front of you.

“…What are you doing?”

“I’m giving you a piggyback.”

“…What.”

“Your ankle’s jacked. Don’t make this weirder than it is.”

You stared at him, baffled. “Didn’t you say I was the ghost of a flop comeback, like, five hours ago?”

He winced. “Yeah. I was being a dick. I get it.”

Silence.

“Look,” he added, quieter now, “you looked… good. Earlier. When you were dancing. I didn’t expect that. It kinda pissed me off.”

You blinked. “Pissed you off?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “'Cause you were actually really good. And I… didn’t want to admit it.”

There was a beat. You didn’t know what to say.

So you let yourself lean forward. Arms wrapped around his shoulders. He steadied you by the thighs, lifting you up with ease, your chin resting against his shoulder as he started to walk.

You could feel his heartbeat.

Could feel him tense and relax all at once.

“…You’re warm,” you whispered.

He rolls his eyes, sarcastically this timee. “Don’t get used to it.”

[notrimbaud]

just painted this bunny… inspired by an exhibition i saw featuring Nam June Paik!

[berryzoey]

BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE

𝐜���𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 : zoey

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : your parents recently told you that they were getting a divorce, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it. the feeling eats at you until your girlfriend confronts you about it.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : mentions of divorce, lots of crying, hugs, and kisses (comfort to the max), reader has trouble speaking when upset

𝐚/𝐧 : i’ve been struggling with this situation lately so i decided to write my feelings out. i cried while writing this, and it helped. i hope that this finds people who are struggling too and offers them comfort, you are not alone.

Divorce.

A short word, yet a strong one. It cuts deep, piercing your heart. To you, it wasn’t a word that you would use to describe your parents relationship, at least not before this. But, you wouldn’t call them happy. When you were younger, arguing between them was not common, at least not to the first glimpse of the eye. Your childhood was happy, you loved your family and they loved you in return, with everything they had. If they were only able to save one spot in their heart for someone, you would be the one sitting with them.

A silent promise was made; you would never be alone, there would always be a roof over your head, and there would always be food on the table.

So, why did you feel so lonely?

Your older sister and older brother didn’t seem as upset as you did over the situation, perhaps because they were wiser than you. They had known for much longer of the truth behind why your parents had decided this was the best decision for them; the lies, the truth, the history. You knew from your early teens what they were truly like, your brother never liked to keep secrets from you. But, the feeling churning within you was like a hurricane; building quickly yet calming as soon as it started. It was difficult to stay angry, especially with your family.

Your loved ones knew this, and they quickly assured that this would be no different. They would be at the phone answering your call if you wanted to talk about it, and stay by your side if you needed to cry. When the words that they were separating were uttered, there bore no expression on your face. Maybe it was because you had known this was going to happen eventually. Maybe it was because you knew this was right for both of them. Maybe it was because you understood they weren’t going to be hurting each other any longer, that they were free to do as they dreamed.

It may have been wrong, but a part of you was more upset about moving away from your home.

The house you had lived in since you entered this world had many fond memories; making colorful pancakes with whatever miscellaneous food dye you had in your baking box, watching your older brother play video games on your crappy couch as you sat next to him and snacked on your cereal, sitting with your sister as she applied her makeup to go out to dinner with your family. The wallpaper torn off the walls from playing too rough, the indents in the carpet from your toy box that had been gone for several years, and the room you used to play dress up in everyday would be gone.

It wouldn’t be your home anymore, it would be someone else’s.

But, maybe you had been holding onto the past too tightly. A fear had always been lurking inside you, one that was just waiting to burst out and jump at you with its fangs bared. You were afraid of growing up, but it was something that you had to do. No matter what you do, you can’t stop time from ticking forward. You knew that, yet you were still afraid. That fear wasn’t because of age. It was because you were afraid of growing apart from the people you loved most. Those memories were simple, mundane, but they held a special place in your heart. You were all together during those days, and now you were falling apart.

Maybe that was the curse of being the youngest.

These feelings were beginning to weigh deeper and deeper onto your shoulders, though, no one could see it. You liked to keep people smiling, even though darkness was beginning to creep on you. Worrying others was the last thing you wanted to do, you didn’t want others' pain to be because of you. That is why you liked to keep silent until it became too much to handle, causing you to lash out without meaning to do so.

You didn’t like to bottle it up, but it was only action you were confident with taking.

Your siblings had noticed it, your parents had noticed it, but most of all; Zoey had noticed it.

She was one of the first people you told about your new situation, and she was extremely sympathetic. Tears were shed for you before you could even manage to form your own, that was just the type of person she was. Generous, empathetic, caring, and brave. She was braver than you, that’s for certain. The girl was able to conquer her insecurities and hardships, while you had just begun to climb that mountain.

The journey was going slow, too slow. You wanted it to go faster, to save the pain and make it quick.

But, maybe you could wallow in it, just for a little while.

So there you laid, curled up under the sheets of your girlfriend's bed as the sun had finally set. You were thinking, maybe too much. Images of yesteryear were running through your mind, a part of you wondering why it felt awkward to be in your own home, how things had come to be this way. You knew the answer, you just didn’t want to believe that it was true. It made you want to cry, even just a tear. The feeling was already welling up in your eyes. But, you wouldn’t let yourself.

Then suddenly, the door to Zoey’s room began to open.

As the door creaked open, a faint sliver of light shone into the room. Quickly, you sat up as you wiped away the water building up in your eyes. Soon, the image of your girlfriend came into view along with your friends close behind her. In their hands were baskets filled with relaxing materials; a soft microfiber towel for their hair, a large fluffy towel for their bodies, and rollers to massage their faces. In your girlfriend's arms, she held her own. However, in her other was another basket; one meant for you. You knew just by one glance that the items in it were intended for you, they were folded neatly into cute hearts.

She had made it for you herself.

It was sickeningly sweet, and a guilty feeling couldn’t help but surface to your stomach.

The girl quietly bent down next to the side of the bed you laid upon, an eager expression on her face. “[Name], would you like to join us in the bathhouse?” She whispered as she placed a gentle hand on your arm.

The words that left your mouth felt like you were drinking poison; painful and slow. Since you were a child, it felt wrong to deny people or tell them to ask someone else. Especially the ones you loved most. “I’m sorry, Zoey. Maybe another night.”

The girl's eyes widened, shocked that you would say no to a night in the bathhouse. It was past time between the two of you, Mira joining with you after you had begun training together, and ever since Rumi had opened up about her demon patterns, she had joined in too. Each moment was filled with laughter and relaxation, like you were sitting in liquid sunshine. It was calm, soothing, and most of all, you felt like you belonged. Like there was a mutual understanding between each of you that you wouldn’t be alone.

Zoey knew you better than this anyway, something had to be wrong. Immediately, she stood up straight, giving your friends a certain look. In return, they gave her a nod of understanding. Without saying a word, they picked up both yours and Zoey’s baskets and left the room, closing the door behind them.

She then turned back to you, a small smile present on her face. “Y’know what? I’m not feeling the bathhouse tonight, let’s just chill in bed for a while, or whatever you want to do!” Her voice was chipper, but there was a hint of worry behind it.

You were quick to insist that she didn’t have to stay, that she should go have fun with your friends while you were left to your thoughts again. “You don’t have to do that, Zoey. If you want to go with Mira and Rumi to the ba-”

But, she wouldn’t have it. “Nope, I’m staying with you tonight!” She insisted, lifting up her comforter on the opposite side of you.

A giggle left your lips as your girlfriend snuggled under the covers with you, laying a head on your shoulder as you took out your phone. “Okay, I wasn’t intending to do anything interesting though.” You teased as you began to type your password.

“That’s fine! Being with you is equally as relaxing as a nice bath.” She merely snuggled deeper in your side as you opened TikTok.

For a long time, the two of you only laid there basking in each other's presence. An occasional laugh or giggle would fill the silence as you scrolled, or a relieved sigh would be released at a heartwarming story, but then it reached a certain video. It was a lyric video, one that showcased the lyrics to popular songs just for views. At first, you were just going to scroll past it. But, then it began to play a familiar song.

“When you cycled by

Here began all my dreams

The saddest thing I’ve ever seen”

Back to the Old House by The Smiths. The tone and mood was sorrowful, as were the lyrics. Their songs had a knack for baring heavy lyrics, but they never bothered you. You enjoyed it, they told a story. This one though, the feeling was too familiar to you. Too close. Too real. So, you sat there. Staring at your screen as you kept watching the words pass by, taking in the thought that maybe this was what you were feeling.

Nostalgia, regret, bittersweetness.

Before you knew it, the tears had begun to rise again and a warm sensation rose to your cheeks.

Zoey knew something was wrong, but you insisted that you would be okay. You always were going to be okay. This, however, was her last straw. She couldn’t accept the fact you were suffering in silence while you insisted she leave you to your devices to think, curse her hardwired nature to please the people around her no matter what. She had known you were feeling this way, yet she left you alone. The girl wasn’t going to let that be the case any longer.

As you continued to stare at your phone, almost entranced, she quietly whispered to you. “Be honest with me, I’ve noticed you’ve been more… quietly lately.”

You didn’t utter a word, pausing the music coming from your phone. The slow turn of your head towards her and the welling of tears in your eyes that threatened to leak were enough of an answer. “Is it bothering you more than you let on?” She asked, though she didn’t even need you to tell her. She already knew.

For a moment, you hesitated. Then, gave her a nod.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Another nod.

The girl shifted without a word, lowering your body against hers as you lay against her torso. A pair of arms snaked around you, one on the crown of your head and the other around your midsection. Her hands were warm, welcoming. The softness of her embrace felt like you were on a cloud, floating freely through the sky as the wind guided you. “I just… don’t want to burden anyone with these feelings…” Your voice wavered, choking back a sob.

A nimble hand began running through your hair, fingers delicately removing the small tangles in your hair. “You’re not going to burden anyone with your feelings, sweetheart. I’m here to hear you.” Her voice was tender, soothing, serene.

That was the breaking point, it was all you needed to hear.

The tears she could see welling up in your eyes, the frown your lips made in attempts not to release your sobs, the sniffles from your nose; it all came crashing down in a single instant. The tears in your eyes finally leaked, streaking down your face and onto your girlfriend's shirt. Struggling to breath properly, you hiccuped and released the most pitiful, pain stricken sobs the girl had ever heard. It made her gut wrench with the most awful feeling, and her own tears began to form at your pain. “I’m scared… that things won’t be the same anymore… and that I won’t feel like I have… a home anymore.” You sniffled, struggling to speak as you gripped her clothing to ground you.

“It’s okay, keep going.” She whispered, moving her hand to cover your own.

“It sounds stupid… but what if Christmas isn’t the same anymore? …Will I have two separate celebrations? But, I want everyone to be there…”, your body wracked even harder with sobs just at the thoughts, the images of what could be. “No more going to grandma's house on Christmas Eve and doing… dumb stuff to entertain ourselves before eating like pigs and patiently waiting to open presents…”

There was a silence, then. “It feels wrong..”

A far off look was in your eyes, “But, I know… it’s what’s right for them. So, why… does it hurt so much?”

She understood, all too well. “I felt the same way with my parents when I was younger. It felt like I was being pulled in two different directions, with no clear path. But, that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you.”

Removing her hands from your body, she gently cupped your cheeks. A gaze full of all the love and reassurance you could ask for was pointed directly at you, unwavering as she shed her own tears. Sharing your pain and sadness, understanding you. “Your family loves you, a lot. I love you even more.” She whispered, resting her head against yours. “Why don’t you be honest with them? Tell them what you told me. I’m sure they’d like to hear it from you, and they’d be more than willing to listen to you and understand you.”

“Even my hard headed sister?” You mumbled, choking back another sob.

“Even your hard headed sister.”

A faint chuckle left you, a small smile now present on your face. “Thank you for listening…”

She then pressed a soft kiss on your lips, staying there for a moment, then hesitantly pulling away. “Always.”

You nuzzled your head further into her side as she continued to comb her fingers through your hair, calming the tremors in your chest as your sobs subsided. “Your hugs feel just like the ones my parents give.” You whispered, lifting your hand to touch the arm that curled back around your waist.

“They’re nice and warm, reassuring…”, your breathing finally slowed as your eyes struggled to stay open. “… they feel like home.”

Then, as your vision faded into black, light snores began to fall from your lips.

Zoey didn’t utter another word, only laid with you as you slept peacefully, snaking her arms around you more tightly. And finally, she placed a tender kiss on the crown of your head.

Maybe, this was all you needed.

@𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲𝐳𝐨𝐞𝐲 °❀.ೃ࿔ - please do not translate or plagiarize my works.