#Buy Half Cow Near Me

[teaguepremiumbeef]

Five Health Benefits of Grass Fed Beef

A well-managed grass-fed cow ranch has several advantages for the environment. We've written about the advantages of grass-fed beef for the environment in a previous blog article, but to put it briefly, a ranch that raises grass-fed beef would lessen soil erosion and water pollution in the area. Additionally, it will enable the land's biodiversity to grow. 

[daistea]

Could you do a suggestive mithrun x tallman reader fic where the reader somehow managed to become friends with mithrun and they ask if they can touch his ears out of curiosity (I just like the idea of elf ears being sensitive)

Ya! This one was fun 💕 thanks for the prompt!

1800 words

Mithrun x Tall-man Reader

no tws except for smoochin and a suggestive tone

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

You had a measure of decorum. Not much, though. A teaspoon, maybe. A teaspoon of decorum. Yet, that still existing decorum nearly stopped you from doing what you currently wanted the most:

To touch an elf’s ear.

Pattadol said no. Fleki laughed at you and said ‘keep dreaming’ as if you’d just hit on her. Lycion became a bit flirty in a way that threatened you. Cithis also said no. Otta… also said no, out of loyalty to her current partner. Otta’s response made you wonder what the implications of ear touching were to elves. Was it intimate? Was it embarrassing for them? Was it considered rude if you didn’t know the person well, like how using a half-foot’s first name was considered rude for strangers? That teaspoon of decorum caused you to hesitate.

Mithrun, though, wouldn’t care. Mithrun hardly cared about anything. And you were friends, sort of. He didn’t outright call you his friend, but that was fine, you could live with that. He put up with you. That was fine. Fine.

You knocked on the door of the little apartment above the noodle shop. Mithrun’s monotone, though muffled, voice told you to come inside. You found Mithrun on the floor, on his knees and hunched over the baseboards. He wielded a toothbrush like a dagger as he scrubbed at the nonexistent dust, and only spared you a glance, but said no greeting.

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen Mithrun clean like that. It was yet another habit Milsiril had instilled in him during rehabilitation, though you had a theory that Milsiril only taught him to clean so ardently because she thought it would come in handy for hiding murder evidence.

Mithrun’s home was simple. It was near empty aside from the most basic furniture. Yourself, Kabru, and several of the Canaries had given him little decorations. The pillows on the couch with the badly embroidered cows on them were from Otta. The simple, thick white curtains were from Pattadol. The painting of Mithrun’s assist dog dressed in royal garb was from Lycion. And most of the utensils in the kitchen were from you, given to him after you saw him attempt to eat spaghetti with a spoon— he knew better, but couldn’t be bothered to buy proper utensils.

As you took a moment to watch Mithrun scrub, your mind began to wander. Was this truly worth it? You’d only recently read about how soft elf ears were, yet you hadn’t been able to get the thought out of your mind. And they were so cute, too, with how they drooped and perked up. You’d even seen Mithrun’s ears droop when he pulled his hair back. It wasn’t as pronounced as other elves’ but no less endearing.

“What do you need?” Mithrun’s voice yanked you from your mind. It was as if he’d grabbed your shirt and pulled you forward, making you stumble for words.

It would be easiest to just blurt it out. He wouldn’t be offended. He might give you the look, but it wouldn’t bother him, surely. Yet, it was as if you’d hit a mental wall. What seemed like such a simple request ended up stuck in your throat, refusing to climb.

Mithrun sat back on his haunches and raised his head to look at you. He rested his forearms on his knees, toothbrush dangling from his fingers. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and there were his ears.

You knew that look. He was expecting something. And he would stare in silence until you blurted it out.

“I want something,” you finally said.

“I already asked what you wanted,” Mithrun reminded, monotone.

“Technically, you asked what I needed, and this isn’t really a need. I mean, it feels like a need, but it’s really not. I can live without it. However, I would like it. It would please me.”

Mithrun didn’t miss a beat, “And you know how much I wish to please you.”

“Okay, smartass, tone it down,” you put up a hand, shooting him a glare, “I’m really nervous, so don’t make this harder for me.”

“I wasn’t kidding.”

“No, you were being sarcastic.”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic.”

“You’re just trying to make me squirm,” you accused, “you’ve become a sadist after regaining your desires, huh? You like watching me struggle?”

Mithrun only slightly raised a brow, “A bit. But use your ears, I wasn’t being sardonic.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you couldn’t help but pause. “...I’m going to think about the implications of that statement at a later date. For now, on the subject of ears, I have a request.”

He finally stood, brushing past you to deposit the cleaning brush into the sink and washing his hands in a water basin. After drying them, he went to pull the rubber band from his hair, but you made a panicked squeak at the sight, which gave him pause.

“Don’t,” you pleaded as he looked at you blankly, “keep your hair up.”

If Mithrun was confused by the request, he gave no hint. He kept his hair up, though, as he strode through the little apartment and sat on the couch, gesturing for you to join him. You’d done this a hundred times before, sitting next to him in comfortable silence as you both focused on your own things— Cithis called it ‘parallel play’ as if you were kids on a playdate. You’d spent hours on this couch, resting an arm over the back of it as you curled your feet up and talked. Mithrun would usually cross his arms and fold one leg over the other, staring at the wall as if he were ignoring you. He wasn’t, he never did— sometimes he did, but you forgave him.

You took a deep breath as you plopped down beside him gracelessly, your nerves taking over your joints and rendering you a clumsy mess. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous, though, it wasn’t as if this was a big request. It would only last a few seconds, and you’d have your curiosity sated. If Mithrun didn’t want you to touch his ears, he would simply tell you, and you’d both move on with your lives.

Yet, Otta’s earlier answer rang in your mind. She wouldn’t let you touch her ears ‘out of loyalty.’ What did that mean?

It was yet another statement that you’d have to consider at a later time. For the moment, you tried your best to get comfortable as the request rose in your chest. It was undeniable.

The words broke through the dam and flooded your mouth. “I would like to touch your ears, please.”

You watched as Mithrun stiffened. His good eye widened for half a second before he schooled his expression. He didn’t look at you, gaze glued to the wall, but the slight raise of his brows betrayed his surprise. Surprise. Why was he surprised? Was ear touching offensive in elven culture? Mithrun didn’t even acknowledge elven culture most of the time.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he looked at you. Your heart clenched and it felt as if someone had punched both your lungs, but you managed a smile. You knew you looked stupid, shoulders slumped and eyes wide and smile shaken. But he didn’t look at you like you were stupid, he looked at you like you’d just spoken gibberish.

“You want to feel my ears?” He asked.

You nodded, “Yeah, I like soft things, and they look pretty soft. I asked the other Canaries first and they all said no.”

Mithrun cracked a little smile. It was barely there, but you could feel the amusement coming off him in waves. “Of course they would all say no. They know better.”

You weren’t sure what that meant, but he’d yet to give you a straight answer. “Whatever. Can I please just feel them, at least a little? Then I’ll never ask you for anything again.” (That was a lie and you both knew it.)

Nonetheless, Mithrun’s gaze flickered around the room. It didn’t look like he was scanning anything in particular, but rather letting the thought absorb. Once he returned to you, he slowly nodded, “I doubt I have any nerve endings left, so it’s fine.”

Nerve endings? It didn’t matter, you were so close to your goal. Some called you single minded, you preferred the description of ‘determined.’

Slowly, you raised a hand. The moment felt monumental. The air was thick with anticipation that set you on edge, raising the little hairs on your arms. You let out an exhale as if to prepare yourself, then gently brushed your fingers on the soft skin of his cut ears.

You traced the jagged tip. Then the lobe. Then the back. Mithrun leaned into your touch and his eyes threatened to flutter shut, but he managed to send you a look, “Don’t look so excited.”

“Yes, sir,” you answered immediately as you tried to school your expression.

He let his guard down, his eyes shutting as he exhaled slowly. There was a hint of gravel in that exhale that sparked a fire in your lower abdomen.

You should probably stop.

“There are definitely nerve endings left,” he murmured.

You gently took his other ear and began rubbing the tip.

Mithrun lowered his head a little, brows furrowing and lips forming a frustrated frown. He leaned in. Only when you looked down did you notice how tightly he gripped his pants. His knuckles were turning white. The sight just made you want to press a little harder…

Wait.

If you’re getting hot, and if Mithrun is breathing that heavily, then—

Otta’s words made sense. Lycion’s flirting made sense. Elf ears are erogenous zones.

You’d asked every Canary if you could basically touch their privates.

More horrifyingly, you’d asked Mithrun if you could touch his—

It felt as if your face was on fire. You tensed, slowly pulling back, but Mithrun’s hands went to your cheeks before you could react. And his lips were on yours. Eager. Hungry. That spark in your abdomen flared and spread and suddenly you were a bonfire. He held your face a bit roughly, and the kiss was desperate. You should probably kiss back, you thought.

You let yourself melt into the feeling, but kept your fingers on his ears, gently massaging the soft skin. He let out a gasp between kisses before diving back in. His chest pressed against yours and you took the hint to lean back on the couch so he could slip between your legs and consume you entirely.

The mortification concerning the fact that you’d unknowingly sexually harassed all your friends was temporarily set aside. At the moment, all you knew was Mithrun, and this new power over him that your curiosity had bestowed upon you.

You will, most likely, use it for evil.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I have a light one that’s kind of dumb.

🐶🐱

AITA for wanting a dog even though my sister/housemate does not?

To start, nobody is allergic to dogs or has a fear of them, she just doesn’t want it.

(if ages and gender are important, we’re both f in our early 20s)

I grew up on a farm with lots of animals. There were always cows, I had goats, there were chickens, ducks, barn cats and of course, 1-3 livestock guard dogs at a time.

When I was 16, I had a senior spaniel who had to be put down due to heart problems. Ever since I have been asking if I can have another dog but my parents have said no.

Around a year ago now I sold my goats and moved out of my parents house into an apartment. The apartment didn’t allow any pet bigger than my little gecko.

Then, about January, my older sister started messaging me with images of houses on a realtor site. So we looked at houses. I agreed to buy a house with her 1) so she could move out of our parents house and 2) because being by myself in the apartment with no real friends wasn’t really that good for my mental health.

To her credit, she did get a kitten from our farm and let me keep it, although I didn’t really want a house cat. The main reason I wanted a dog was for the amount of exercise it would need, and I would have to take it for long walks. Not to mention litter boxes aren’t my favourite thing to deal with. Still, I am glad I have a little animal to cuddle.

Additionally, most of the times when I bring up wanting a dog or getting a dog, it’s either in a jokey matter or it’ll be in contrast to something (for example there was a shady guy hanging around our street the other night and we don’t have an actual alarm for our house, so I went “yknow if we had a yappy little chihuahua it would be an alarm enough” or something like that) to which she will reply something short and growly along the lines of “you’re never getting a dog in my house”

Her reasons she gives for not wanting a dog? Number one, it’s “her” house. (It’s in both of our names, I paid half the down deposit and I pay half the mortgage and bills, and I pay for the Wifi. I’m not paying her rent, we both own it) Number 2, her friend is allergic to horses. (A friend that never comes over to our house anyway, and I understand fur allergies are complicated but it’s a dog. We aren’t anywhere NEAR horses! We live in town!) (this one is also BS because sister wants to buy a farm and have Clydesdale horses) Number 3, it sheds. We have a cat. The cat sheds more than the breeds of dogs that I really like or want. One of my favourites are the Xolo dog. Which has no hair. At all. Number 4, the cat is scared of dogs. (She isn’t. She’s never seen one in her life. I can get her used to having a dog around easily, even if she starts afraid. I’ve done it before when our parents have gotten new dogs around new cats.)

I’m not going to go behind her back and bring home a dog (even though there have been opportunities to get a free puppy multiple time) but I’m not going to stop wanting to have a dog or wanting to get one or talking about what dogs I like.

Our grandparents are moving to town and selling their farm next year, which sister wants to buy with me. I told her I’d like to move out of town into a farm, but only if she let me get either a dog or a donkey to protect our property against coyotes. (Especially considering we both want chickens if we get a farm)

She got really pissy at me about that, and stormed off. AITA here? I think she’s being a little unreasonable. I’m not a bad pet owner at all, I work with my animals as much as possible. I had my billy goat following me around the farm without a lead before I sold the goats, for pineapple’s sakes!

What are these acronyms?

[seven-ruins-it]

wolfstar fantasy au:)

“I'm not dying for you.”

“Is that how the song goes now? Endless devotion to our Lord and King, except we should not die for him?” He sings idly. Remus imagines him swinging his arms, then goes back to pretending there isn’t a prince following him a few steps behind. It’s a feat. “Have they changed it since I've been away?” 

“I never sang it.” He swings his machete at a thin branch at eyelevel. This deep in the woods are thicker than he’s ever seen them, but they’ll need to pass through these parts undetected. The further out of reach from Lestrange’s watchmen’s horses the better.

“They do still make the knights sing it at supper, don't they? It's nothing like dear old dad to disturb a routine.”

Remus represses a scoff. “The king starts snoring halfway through, most days.”

“So then you do sing it.”

“I mouth the words.” 

Sirius guffaws delightedly and Remus regrets showing a slip of skin. “How charming.” He means it, too, Remus doesn't doubt it. "Do they not have an installed punishment for transgressions like those?”

Remus breathes out through his nose. Easy, now. “Flogging,” he grits out. Another branch whips to the ground.

“Ah, so you must be careful,” Sirius says airily. Remus swipes at a thin, low branch needlessly. “I myself have enjoyed thwarting duty over the years. I’ve gotten quite creative with it. Of course, I can't say I got out quite as clean as you have.”

“No?” Remus asks, mocking a conversational voice.

“Well, no, getting sent away was never part of any elaborate prank.”

“It must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you.”

Rustling leaves behind him, then silence. Minutes pass and several branches are cleared before Remus gives up and turns, jaw clenched. 

“Do you mock me?” Sirius asks, looking the part of a lost child, pouting and his torse near drowning in the shirt they’d nicked at the village. 

Remus starts walking back. “Only a man born with polished silver rattle will believe a necklace like that one,” he ticks his machete against the prince’s necklace, the one he’d refused to abandon with the rest of his clothes, poorly concealed under teal cloth “-makes him any sort of martyr.”

“Look,” Sirius levels, “I believe you’ve come to misunderstand a great many things about me. I hate the crown and all its frivolous frivolities as much as you clearly seem to, as much as any upstanding man with half a brain ought to.”

“You believe admitting selfcontempt earns you honor?”

“I am not my family,” Sirius grits out, at last having lost some of his princely levity. “Look at where we are if proof is what you seek, friend. Would true royalty wear cow’s leather boots as decayed as the meat it produced?” They’d had to buy those damn boots. Cost Remus three gold. 

“Any upstanding man would deem those boots fit for wear because they keep infection at bay. A friend, I would not dare call you even if you by all measurements proved to be such a man. You carry the crown in your blood, wherever you may go in whichever boots you so choose to be appointed.”

Sirius looks like he’s swallowed a lemon, eyes close to slits. “You remove choice from a test of merit.”

“You confuse reality with fanciful court fairytales. This is no test for you to pass, any more than this forest is a cave and monsieur Lestrange is a dragon. We are men in dire straits, one of us raised to be more of a self assuming prat than the other. That is all.”

“Well, then.” Sirius tilts his chin up, gesturing the path forward. “I should not wish to distract you from your own martyrdom.”

“Indeed you should not, seeing as it’s the only thing keeping your life,” Remus snarks before resuming his way North.

“But not to penalty of death.” A branch falls. Remus looks over his shoulder, locking eyes with the heir to his home kingdom. 

“No.” 

Sirius nods, as if it were his own choice. Like a prince is taught acquiescence. In his turn, Remus pretends he didn’t hesitate.

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

2nd Day of Christmas

A Sweet Mishap

Summary/Prompt - Spilling hot chocolate/coffee/a hot beverage on the other and insisting on paying for a new drink and new clothes for them.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader

Christmas Masterlist | Masterlist

The Christmas pay is great, but dealing with the influx of customers – everyone in a rush to get their Christmas shopping and preparations finished – sucks. You’re well into the morning rush having made to your best estimate near a hundred coffees in just a few hours. You’re already exhausted and sick of people; many of whom have short tempers due to needing their daily caffeine hit ASAP. Somewhere around the 30th coffee you burnt your hand on the steamer and it has been in pain since, but you need the money so you ignore it and push on. Not that you’d have time to dwell on the pain even if you wanted to; the orders just keep piling up. 

Peppermint Mocha Latte with extra whipped cream and crushed candy canes.

Gingerbread Latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.

Chestnut Praline Frappuccino with caramel drizzle.

White Chocolate Peppermint Hot Chocolate with marshmallows.

Winter Wonderland White Hot Chocolate with white chocolate syrup.

Almond Joy Latte with coconut and almond flavours.

And so on and so on into oblivion. Maybe it’s your fault for choosing to work in a cafe that prides itself on its range of festive flavours. But despite the exhaustion, you serve every drink with a smile and never-dwindling love for the holidays. 

Your steady pace and rhythm are jolted by your coworker getting into your personal space. “Come on Y/N! It’s time to switch, I can’t keep weaving through these crowds with hot drinks and dishes! I need space! Please!”

You add the finishing touches to the drink you’re currently working on and then nod at her. “Fine. I’ll deliver this one and go from there. Just start from the next hot chocolate there.” 

She nods enthusiastically, pulls out a mug and gets started. You take the fancy hot chocolate out to table 5 as per the order card. You and your coworker, fall into perfect harmony quickly. She makes drinks and you deliver them seamlessly until a tall, well-built guy comes bursting through the doors straight in front of your well-worn causing you to dump an entire Peppermint Mocha Latte on him. The mug and saucer shatter on the tiles by his feet as your hands immediately cover your mouth to hide your embarrassment. But the shock quickly wears off as you jump into action, gathering napkins to wipe the mess while you apologise profusely. You don’t even look up at his face as you continue to attempt to clean out the stain. 

“I am so so sorry! Whatever you want is on the house, I’ll cover it all. New shirt and jacket even. It’s all on me. I am so sorry, sir,” you ramble as you continue dabbing at the mess. 

Noticing everyone’s eyes on the two of you and customers starting to get restless, he wraps his hands around your wrists to make you stop and look at him properly. “It’s no problem, really. It’s all good. I wanted a reason to buy a new shirt anyway.”

“Please, at least let me get you a coffee to go then.”

“To go?” He questions.

“Yeah, so you can go change.”

“But you did such a good job cleaning me up.” A blush sneaks onto your cheeks at his words. You hear your coworker calling you from behind the counter. “Sounds like you need to get back. Just surprise me with something when you get your break. But make sure you’re the one that makes and delivers it,” he says with a wink as he releases his grip on your wrists. 

You quickly compose yourself as you rush over to grab a broom and mop to clean up the mess as your coworker attempts to manage the impatient customers. 

After about half an hour the morning rush finally starts to die down and your other coworkers arrive for handover. You finish adding some whipped cream, chocolate powder and marshmallows on top of the white and milk chocolate peppermint mocha lattes you made and then untie your dirty apron. Thanking your coworkers you take the two festive mugs to the table in the corner where the now dry man is waiting patiently reading a newspaper. You place them down carefully on the table causing him to look up at you.

“I was starting to think you forgot,” he says.

“You kidding me? I still feel so bad, but it gets so busy here during the holidays.”

He takes a sip of the hot chocolate closest to him and then says, “I can see why. I’m used to straight black coffee, but I can get on board with this.”

As you go to take a sip from the other mug you get distracted by a bright flash from outside the window causing you to spill your drink all over yourself. Looking in the direction of the flash, the man jumps into action. He passes you some napkins and stands up.

“That’s my fault. Should’a known word would get out if I stayed here this long. That’s my fault,” he says apologetically.

“You nab at your now stained shirt and say, “I guess now we’re even.”

He slides a coaster across the table to you. “I’m so sorry.”

He shrugs his jacket on and walks away. After a second you go to call out and stop him but the door’s already closing behind him. You look down at the coaster and see a phone number written in neat handwriting. You slip it into your pocket and smile. 

[loislame84]

So more domestic options:

Sonya doesn't necessarily live with them, but Kate and Yelena are used to her crashing on the couch. The only real problem is that Kate and her like the same flavor pop tarts and so Yelena's buying 4 boxes every week at the store.

Speaking of grocery shopping. It is an EVENT. Yelena loves taking Kate with her, don't get her wrong, and Kate's a good shopper. That half-finished business degree comes in clutch when thinking about the best deal on lettuce. The problem, however, is they both have zero control over rotisserie chicken. They have every intention of cooking when they get home. They have the ingredients ready. That damn rotisserie wafts through the air and it's like they're two starved animals.

Kate is an animal cuddler. Dogs, cats, pigs, cows, she doesn't care. If it's fuzzy and makes noises, she snuggles it. Most of the time, Yelena thinks this is cute. She has a folder on her phone dedicated to pictures of this. It doesn't really become an issue until Kate's got a 2000lb cow laying its head on her lap and she can't move for 3 hours.

The dogs are amazingly well-behaved at home. Unless there's stress in the household. Lucky handles it better given his street dog life, but Fanny is more attuned to Yelena's emotions, not Kate's. Kate knows she needs to talk to her therapist more when Fanny shakes near her and pees. Yelena never says a word. She just cleans it up and offers Kate a hand to hold.

Sex. So much sex. Not explicitly in everyone's faces, but everyone knows if Kate and Yelena are left home alone for more than a few hours, the pants are coming off and they're going to town. Yelena doesn't start it much, but when she does, Kate spends a night on her back praising her girlfriend. Yes, you can think of Take Me to Church for this.

I have an idiot regarding Sonya and the house 😂😂 she’s one of my favorites so of course she has her own room.

I also agree that sex initiated by Kate usually and it’s an all afternoon event. 😂 I promise I won’t make you wait 26 chapters this time. (Maybe…)

[trivialbob]

The main reason for our Wisconsin camping trip this past weekend was to see our friend and former Tumblr Jessica, her husband, and their new bar. 

But we had one other destination in mind.

Sheila and I like dive bars. We’d heard of a blue ribbon, class A, #1, Gold Medal dive bar in northern Wisconsin, not far from the shores of Lake Superior, that is a must-see. 

We drove an hour and a half north from Birchwood to the tiny town of Moquah. Along the way we passed countless rural roadside bars (RRB). We stopped at one for a bloody and chaser. My nice smile earned me a Spotted Cow instead of a Busch Lite for that five ounce beer that makes a bloody 48% happier.

At times I wonder if these small towns, where the bar to resident ratio is high, do they close some bars just so those employees have a chance to visit the rest of the bars in town? 

Anyway...

I present - The Plywood Palace.

We arrived at 12:10 PM. The door, held shut with a small Master padlock that wouldn't survive five seconds in Minneapolis or Chicago, should have been propped open at that point, but the owner was late. 

It’s not likely he reads Yelp or cares what it is, so no one wasted time bitching. We were far from 5G service anyway. 4G too. Even flip phones would not help so you’d better have a quarter for a pay phone if you want to call corporate and complain.

Several trucks and side-by-side ATVs were already there next to my truck. I bet there wasn’t a Prius within 100 miles of this place. Telslas likely are prohibited by local township rules.

We were all happy campers, waiting in that parking area. Everyone had a cooler. Some shared beer. We shared beef sticks from a meat shop we stopped at on the way there. One woman had bowls of dip and some chips. It was a block party in the sticks, next to a shack.

About an hour later the owner showed up. A man of few words, he mostly grunted “three bucks” or “six bucks,” depending on how many cans of Busch Lite a bar patron ordered. The money went into a mechanical cash register. Hey! You hippie over there, asking about Apple Pay, GTFO of here. Ka-ching.

We’d been advised to order canned beverages. There’s no running water at the Plywood Palace. Everyone followed that advice. No one dared order a bloody or an Old Fashioned. Or anything requiring ice. Or even a glass of water.

Sheila and I loved talking with everybody, hoisting Busch Lights to our parched lips as sunlight streamed through holes in the roof and walls before finally striking on the concrete and dirt floor.

Bras and signed dollar bills decorate what could be known to some as a ceiling.

The “ladies” room is a two-stall. Word has it that the women prefer one side over the other. You may see why. 

Sheila had a large package of baby wipes, because she plans ahead. Others were elated when she announced that anyone could help themselves to those clean, moist sheets.

Left stall:

Right stall:

This is the men’s room. It accommodates acres of full bladders. I found the little flowers to be a thoughtful touch.

Pollsters likely spend little time here.

Near the end of our visit I scrawled Sheila’s and my names on the wall with a Sharpie. I tried to buy a beer for the people who’d gladly opened their coolers to us before the bar opened, but they would have nothing of it. Friends share beer with friends, and we were all friends.

[ceilimoose]

"Jack and the Beanstalk" (part 1)

"Jack's mother said, 'We're stony broke! 'Go out and find some wealthy bloke 'Who'll buy our cow. Just say she's sound 'And worth at least a hundred pound. 'But don't you dare to let him know 'That she's as old as billy-o.' Jack led the old brown cow away, And came back later in the day, And said, 'Oh mumsie dear, guess what 'Your clever little boy has got. 'I got, I really don't know how, 'A super trade-in for our cow.' The mother said, 'You little creep, 'I'll bet you sold her much too cheap.' When Jack produced one lousy bean, His startled mother, turning green, Leaped high up in the air and cried, 'I'm absolutely stupefied! 'You crazy boy! D'you really mean 'You sold our Daisy for a bean?' She snatched the bean. She yelled, 'You chump!' And flung it on the rubbish-dump. Then summoning up all her power, She beat the boy for half an hour, Using (and nothing could be meaner) The handle of a vacuum-cleaner. At ten p.m. or thereabout, The little bean began to sprout. By morning it had grown so tall You couldn't see the top at all. Young Jack cried, 'Mum, admit it now! 'It's better than a rotten cow!' The mother said, 'You lunatic! 'Where are the beans that I can pick? 'There's not one bean! It's bare as bare!' 'No no!' cried Jack. 'You look up there! 'Look very high and you'll behold 'Each single leaf is solid gold!' By gollikins, the boy was right! Now, glistening in the morning light, The mother actually perceives A mass of lovely golden leaves! She yells out loud, 'My sainted souls! 'I'll sell the Mini, buy a Rolls! 'Don't stand and gape, you little clot! 'Get up there quick and grab the lot!' Jack was nimble, Jack was keen. He scrambled up the mighty bean. Up up he went without a stop, But just as he was near the top, A ghastly frightening thing occurred-- Not far above his head he heard A big deep voice, a rumbling thing That made the very heavens ring. It shouted loud, 'FEE FI FO FUM 'I SMELL THE BLOOD OF AN ENGLISHMAN!' Jack was frightened, Jack was quick, And down he climbed in half a tick. 'Oh mum!' he gasped. 'Believe you me 'There's something nasty up our tree! 'I saw him, mum! My gizzard froze! 'A Giant with a clever nose!' 'A clever nose!' his mother hissed. 'You must be going round the twist!' 'He smelled me out, I swear it, mum! 'He said he smelled an Englishman!' The mother said, 'And well he might! 'I've told you every single night 'To take a bath because you smell, 'But would you do it? Would you hell! 'You even make your mother shrink 'Because of your unholy stink!' Jack answered, 'Well, if you're so clean 'Why don't you climb the crazy bean.' The mother cried, 'By gad, I will! 'There's life within the old dog still!' She hitched her skirts above her knee And disappeared right up the tree." (part 2 coming in just a sec. tumblr wouldn't let me post the whole thing in one go)

[blackbird-brewster]

All the even numers >:)

Bahahaha, alright Anon. I saved this for last.

2. Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

(Answered here)

4. Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

I'm a side sleeper, mostly facing outwards. But sometimes, I wind up on my back and when I do I snore so loud Doom Them has to wake me up.

6. Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

I can't draw for shit. Writing is my creative talent

8. What’s your favourite band/artist? 

I have SO many. I listen to a wild range of music. Everything from ska to indie rock to punk to emo to pop. Some of my all-time fave bands include: The Killers, Foreigner, Avett Brothers, Postal Service, Betty Who, Beyonce, Lizzo, Tegan and Sara.

10. How tall are you? 

5'6" or 168 cm

12. Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

@otahkoapisiakii @bittersweet-bibliophile @the-kazoo-kid @gaelic-symphony @mygenitiveisobjective

14. What’s your favourite colour? 

(Answered here)

16. Want any tattoos? What of? 

I have around 35 tattoos (hard to count when you have half sleeves and such). I DO want more tattoos, but in the past two years one of my chronic conditions has made it so I'm allergic to my tattoos. They get welts and hives all the time. Which really sucks because uhhhh, my entire body is covered in them 🤷‍♂️

18. Who is the last person you texted? 

I sent Frankie some smut as a little treat!

20. What/who do you miss? 

I miss all my loves in the US. But in terms of 'what' -- the thing I miss everyday is being able to leave my house without it having to be an entire Event. I miss life before the pandemic where I didn't have to take 100 pre-emptive steps to protect myself every time I go out. I miss 2020 when everyone (in my country) was in this together, when everyone was masking and staying home when they were sick, when everything was accessible by being online. I miss when people cared.

The pandemic isn't over. Some of us have never left lockdown.

22. How much sleep did you get last night? 

I actually went to sleep hella early. I was asleep before my daily kudos email (this is how I tell time, okay?) which comes about 00:20. Then, I got up early with Doom Them -- so I think I got about 7 hours? I only need 5-6 to be functional.

24. When was the last time you cried? Why? 

Last night I cried from laughing so hard at this picture of our cat

26. What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

I don't believe joy has an age limit. I'm a regular at our local toy stores, I know all the staff, I'm always buying new fidget toys and Squishmallows. I got into Squishmallows about the same time I got my Autism dx (mid-2020) and since then, Squish have become a constant form of comfort for us. We currently have about 300 in our collection -- and that's after some major downsizing. There's no way to know how many squish we've rotated through over the years. Here's the last full squad photo we took in Jan 2022 (there's nowhere in our house to do a full pic of the 300 we have currently)

28. How are you, really? 

I'm actually doing well this week. Summer weather arrived without warning and my depression is lifting. I feel really inspired for the first time in weeks!

30. What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

Finishing Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3!!!!!!!!

32. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

If I could see my US friends without actually having to go to the US itself, that would be perfect.

34. What’s your favourite flower? 

(Answered Here)

36. Do you like your middle name?

Not really. My middle name is the name of some random ski instructor my parents met the year before I was born (I have theories about this, about why my dad randomly remembered this person's name -- but that's a whole other thing. Oh, and also that's one of my middle names, it's complicated. I have like 5 names)

38. Do you have any phobias? 

Ornithophobia (fear of birds). Also scared of horses, cows, and airbags.

40. Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

YES!! I love living ten minutes from the beach. We go there a lot to relax and scream at the ocean. I prefer sunny weather, hands down, but it's cloudy 90% of the time here.

42. Tag 5 of your favourite blogs

Oh, this is really difficult. I'll just tag some rad mutuals: @knitmeapony @chaotic-archaeologist @unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix @gaelic-symphony @artcake

44. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

I've said 'I love you' to at least five people today and it's only 10am. And I meant every one of those. I'm very much the type of person who loves my partners and friends openly and freely.

46. What do you need when you’re sad? 

Cranky Cave(tm)! Cranky cave is when I'm having meltdowns. I go to my room and turn on the fairy lights and galaxy projector. Grab a ton of squish and fidgets. Bury myself in blankets. And watch my comfort shows.

48. Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

Doom Them, Kay, Coyote.

[Send Me Asks]

[writing-relatedactivities]

I am in Costa's Chocolate Shop in Owatonna, Minnesota. My friend is opposite me. We've just finished Greek salads and are writing in our notebooks for a half hour among glasses of water, a half-sipped Coke, and a cup of coffee with milk. The booths are orange, and near the front counter are lines of cream candies dipped in chocolate. Across the street is the Owatonna Bank, designed by Louis Sullivan, Frank Lloyd Wright's teacher. Inside the bank is a large cow mural and beautiful stained-glass windows. Our lives are at once ordinary and mythical. We live and die, age beautifully or full of wrinkles. We wake int he morning, buy yellow cheese, and hope we have enough money to pay for it. At the same instant we have these magnificent hearts that pump through all sorrow and all winters we are alive on the earth. We are important and our lives are important, magnificent really, and those details are worthy to be recorded. This is how writers must think, this is how we must sit down with pen in hand. We were here; we are human beings; this is how we lived."

Natalie Golderbeg, Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within

[zacharyja]

Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Exploring Kyoto and Teramachi Street

Today began as per usual, around 11 where I then showered and got ready for the day. After getting up and about I wanted to go to a doughnut shop to get some breakfast but all the ones near me were closed for whatever reason, I guess business is slow on tuesday’s. Alternatively, I opted for a local bakery called “Flip Up” which seemed to have lots of good options for baked goods. It was sort of funny to see lots of signs everywhere displaying the initials of “FU”, felt a bit intimidating to say the least.

I ended up getting a few things including a bagel, a sort of breadstick with bacon inside, and some other bread which tasted sort of like rye bread and had some type of cream cheese-esque filling. All of the different types of bread were really good and I’m considering getting another bagel tomorrow if the doughnut shops are still closed. While at the bakery, a father came in with his child in a stroller, and I was pretty shocked to see that he just left his child outside the store while he bought his baked goods. I guess it’s just a different culture here and this definitely would not happen in the United States, as people would never leave their child unattended outside.

Once I had purchased all of my breakfast foods, I found a nearby park where I could sit down and enjoy my breads outdoors. I rode my bike about 7 minutes to the park, which was also conveniently nearby to Teramachi street, which is a popular shopping area and is usually bustling with people. The park itself was decent enough for what I wanted to use it for, and it was nice to just chill out and sit down doing some people watching as I enjoyed my breakfast.

Once I was full and feeling energized I rode my bike over a bit and parked it at a Family Mart along Teramachi street. I then decided to stroll around and do some shopping through the street as I have yet to get to shop around alone since being here and wanted to be able to take my time looking at whatever I wanted to see. I found myself in a lot of cool stores and was tempted by many things but I remained vigilant and didn’t really buy much as I tend to be very picky with buying things. I ended up going to a few vintage clothing stores, including another second street, and found a few pairs of pants that I liked but none of them fit how I had hoped so I left empty handed. One thing about Japan vintage/thrift stores that bother me is that most of the selection is filled with American/European clothing, and I don’t exactly want to buy random University of Michigan sweaters when I can get that at goodwill for half the price in the states. I want to buy Japanese clothing that I won’t be able to find anywhere else but it is seemingly very hard to come by. I did however keep walking and passed by a store with a shirt hanging up which said “Cats and Beer” and had a pretty fun design on it, and I decided to buy this as I really liked the shirt in general. Nearby I ended up passing shrine, which was odd to see in such a busy shopping area. The shrine is called “Nishiki Tenmangu Shrine” and is dedicated to the Shinto Deity Tenjin, who is the the patron kami of academics and learning. The shrine also includes stone cows which are said to represent the divine messengers of the deity.

After this I walked around some more and grabbed a few snacks from the 7/11 nearby. I then headed back to my hotel to shower and have a snack before heading to dinner. Yesterday I got some fruit from the local grocery store, kiwi, pineapple, and grapes, and I demolished all of it in about 5 minutes flat. I feel that the Japanese diet does not include many vegetables or fruits, which is a shame as all the fruit and vegetables that I’ve had here have been super fresh and tasty. Maybe i’m just ordering wrong but the only time i’ve seen vegetables they have been an odd variety and are always pickled for some reason. I also am a big fan of these types of small alleyways that feel like just a hallway with shops and stores in either side, very fun to meander along!

After a bit I met up with my friend at a nice steakhouse called “Pound” which I was pretty excited for as some nice Japanese beef sounded amazing for today. The restaurant was pretty nice inside and the menu was unique in that it showed a picture of a cow including all the cuts of meat and you got to choose which cut of beef you wanted as well as the weight. This was fun getting to see the descriptions of the cuts of meat and choosing what I wanted. I ended up choosing the Top Round cut, as it seemed like a lean and tender piece of beef. I also ended up ordering rice and the meal came with bread so I was looking at a pretty solid meal in front of me. My friend ordered the short rib which looked pretty good but was a bit more fatty.

I ended up destroying this meal in its entirety and was extremely full after, definitely either my first or second favorite meal i’ve had since coming to Japan and it cost half of what it would in the United States, so I am sitting pretty happy at this point. That pretty much concludes my day as I am not really doing anything else noteworthy, Hope you all have a nice day!

[teaguepremiumbeef]

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[ducknotinarow]

CharlieRhodes - "Just say it!" - Topic: Love

| My muse struggles with the truth...Send "Just say it!" And my muse will confess to something they don't really talk about. Bonus: specify a specific topic and that's what they will talk about!

Rhodes felt like shit right now, there was no way to word it nicer than that simple truth. Not even sitting outside the fast food joint did much to help his case. He could still smell the thick gross greasy stench. It was like a bad case of BO okay maybe it wasn't that bad. And Maybe Rhodes standards just cause a bit of a psychological thing on his part because he was just such insisted that chains business were awful. Added in with a touch of the fact his mother had him very much used to the diet that hes nearly been on his whole life. Not like he didn't eat out just not at the grease pits like this.

"I don't understand how you guys eat at Hamburger Hippo of all places, didn't you have to watch that doc about the dude who ate it like a month straight?" yeah because it was the fact that guy ate at Hamburger Hippo in the first place and not that for near a month straight it was all the guy ate breakfast, lunch and dinner at that. "You know why it's cheap? cause it is trashy! You want a good burger?! there is a nice little restaurant a block from here. Started off just selling bread and now they do breakfast and lunch and dinner now. Bread Winners is so much better! At least everything is fresh! Not like here with their frozen patties of pure grease!"

Maybe his statement would hold more ground if he wasn't half laying across the metal table across the street from the Hippo shaped building. With a kids meal from the place in front of him, salt from the fries stuck to his beak even. Something Charlie seemed to also kind of make a point to well point out to Rhodes. Rhodes let his face scrunch up a bit determination striking as he lifted up grabbing the box from the kids meal to turn and show the current set of toys they were selling with the kids meals. "Because of this!" He pointed out to the set of TYs being included in the meals and aimed his finger right to the Jelly Fish one. One that should be familiar to both of them. Which is why he had dragged Charlie along with his plan. "Peppy's always collecting well anything that is a jellyfish after all, borderline an issue, but it makes them happy. So when I happen to find out they were launching this new set out today? Figured it be a nice surprise when we go meet up with Buds later Doncha?"

Rhodes explained, setting the box back down and returned to 'dying' as if he hadn't just perked up for those few seconds. It not like he couldn't eat this food it just tended to leave him feeling like death. And yet he was fine eating all the junk food they could order when they went to karaoke so yeah some of it was clearly Rhodes sticking to his own ridiculous ways. He had manged to get at least three of the eight being offered. A crab, a leopard and a hippo.

That last one was at the moment on the receiving end of Rhodes glare. It was also the only one he had opened just so he could focus all his disdain from the food chain on to the innocent small plush toy. "Starting to understand mom never having me eat additives has done to my tolerance." He off hand mentions mentally trying to prep himself to rear up for another likely round of this torment. "Don't know what is worse the food itself or the smell of that place. I can smell all that damn grease from the unwashed grill over here. How do people eat there so much!" Hand throw out to gesture over towards the hippo. "I swear I'm begging mom from a kale shake later to clear all the cow eyes outta me once I'm home."

To Rhodes annoyance one of the workers from the same location, clearly worn and tried from their shift, passed by and stated he could just buy the stupid toy he wanted. Before uttering something under his breath clearly over Rhodes complain from the past hour he and Charlie had been sitting around the place. Not aiding to the last part of their shift. Rhodes eyes shot wide though at that information. No longer dying as he fully stood up turning towards them. Even though they were no longer interested in Rhodes themself.

"What do you mean I could just buy the damn toys!" Rhodes shouted, uncaring for any attention he drew in towards himself, as he needed a few moments to let this sink in. Finally dropping back down into his seat letting his head fall back as he face the sky like he was waiting for the gates of heaven to just call out to him then and there. "I can't believe I have been tormenting myself for nothing when I could just buy that lil France for Sunshine." Running his hand over his hair dragging back the single strip of blue, pulling it back over the curve of his tied back hair. Slowly it broke away and rested back into place. As Rhodes handle this all just fine and oh so normally. "Fuck it least we can leave then." Up once more gathering his trash. Just cause he hated the business didn't mean he was going to leave his trash behind. As he started to shove the wrappers and boxes into the nearest trash bin. "eh I can least give the others to Erin so not a total waste she's just as bad when it comes to collecting things like that. Just ya know not only the one." Rhodes offered as he shrugged his shoulders.

Staring back at the Hippo building with clear disgust getting ready to embrace that stench all over again. "Lets hurry up or we're gonna be late meeting up with Sunshine when their shift ends."

Of course he was asked why he was going through all this for. Rhodes thinking his answer over a moment as he walked back to the counter. Waiting to get the attention the cashier well they were busy bagging up food from the end of the line. Also well being thankful his part time job wasn't him stuck in a greasy and foul smelling place like this. Looking forward to tomorrow even since he would be surrounded by the smell of fresh fruit and veggies even some flowers. The jellyfish was for Buddy he wonder what he could find at the markets for Charlie though. "I dunno I don't really know what i'm doing here if i'm being honest chuck." He offers a faint smile to the cashier when they finally notice and tell they will be with him in a few moments. Rhodes didn't mind waiting.

Which was true, Rhodes may have experience with going out on dates, kissing and such even. But when it came to the things that came to dating more long term? He sort of avoided the word relationship. For the same reason he was at a loss now. He was clueless as one could get. Maybe worse. "Just feel weird to be empty handed when we all hang out tomorrow night I guess." Okay but why would that be weird there wasn’t any special going on. Just a usual hang out? Rhodes suddenly felt pressed for a reason Rhodes tried to ignore the creeping red tone coming across his face.Wishing the cashier would hurry up.

“Just say it”

“I dunno my Dads always going on about if you’re gonna do something then you should at least do it properly. And ya sure I ain’t new to dating you two know I’ve been on some heck I’ve dated some people in this city too. But ya know the whole relationship thing? I’ve never really done that. Having a boyfriend is new enough as is” Let alone two, though in all the confusion and anxiety on Rhodes end and Buddy’s excitement seemed neither bothered to clue the rooster beside Rhodes now in this whole thing. “I’m half expecting to fuck this all up. But I mean least I if I put in the effort it won’t be cause I didn’t?” He offered though before anything more could be said the cashier finally made her way to the register and Rhodes walked over to ask about buying the sought out jelly fish he wanted so badly for Buddy. Holding it up t Charlie smiling triumphs though it might but cut since he bought the toy as is and not the result of suffering through the slop of food he punishments himself by eating. “Alright I’m sure they are wrapping up with the closing up of the Cafe we should be good to head over now.”

[thezeekrecord]

parasitic relationship

[index/summary]

Gordon startled awake at the feeling of a tiny hand slapping his face. He jolted up with an uncomfortable snort and a cough, looking blearily at Joshua, who continued to slap Gordon wherever he could reach.

“Josh, Josh—stop, stop, I’m awake.” Gordon reassured him, holding up a hand to block an incoming smack. It took him a few delirious seconds to remember where he was; the first solution his brain supplied him with was that they’d already arrived at the cabin. It was cozy enough for him to believe that for half a second, until he saw the framed photos of cows again. He stood up cautiously, peering out the door to check if anyone was there.

The door just across the hall was left slightly ajar, the light off; as far as he could tell from this angle, it looked like just a normal, run-of-the-mill mom’s room. The bed was unmade and there was a mess of clothes and other things left strewn around, but nothing that immediately told Gordon her human/non-human status. He paused for a moment, taking a quick re-stock of his situation. He had nothing from his car except Joshua and the gnome, and his phone was almost dead—turning it on for a moment only confirmed there was still no cell service. He shut it back off and stuffed it into his pocket again, gathering his courage to scoop up Joshua and head down the stairs quietly.

In the kitchen, Gordon found all three members of the household gathered already, plus Beef eating from a bowl near the table. They didn’t seem to notice Gordon just yet; Benry was leaned against the table, a palm planted firmly on the surface and his other hand on his hip as he talked to Emmet, leaned back against the wall behind him with his arms crossed. Their mom sat at the table with a mug, her chin rested in her free hand as she just listened to Benry and Emmet’s discussion.

“Listen, Ben, I hear you, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea. Or even feasible.” Emmet told Benry seriously. “It’d probably just stress the cows out, and we don’t need that at their age. They’re perfectly happy here. Besides, what do you even have against this place?”

“Uhh, you left, too.” Benry pointed out flatly. “Seems like you have something against it more than I do.”

“What? How does that make sense?” Emmet questioned. “I left to go to culinary school! It wasn’t anything against this place, I just couldn’t stay here and go to school at the same time. You moved out ‘cuz you wanted WiFi.”

“Everyone has WiFi! Everyone but us!” Benry argued, turning dramatically from the table to grab a piece of toast set neatly on a plate on the counter. “We could go somewhere with space for the cows and WiFi and a special restaurant for you, man. We could have it all.”

“I don’t think we’re selling this house any time soon.” Their mom said, shaking her head. “At least, not for the price we’d need to buy another property with all that criteria...”

Benry huffed, crunching on the toast without another word.

Gordon couldn’t see any use in hiding his presence any longer—the sooner he got out of here, the better, he thought. He cleared his throat awkwardly, stepping off the last stair as all four pairs of eyes turned to him and Joshua.

“Hey. Um...” Gordon greeted awkwardly, turning his gaze away from Benry. “Thanks for letting us stay. Uh...not sure what I’m gonna do now, but...”

Benry mumbled something incomprehensible around a mouthful of toast as Emmet stood up straight, brushing his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah, we’ll get you sorted out, Gordon.” Emmet said, not sounding incredibly pleased about it. Gordon tried not to feel too irritated by that and simply nodded. “Where were you headed, anyway?”

“Just up along this road, there’s like—an assortment of vacation cabins or something? My friends are out there right now.” Gordon told him.

“Yeah, sure, your friends...” Benry grumbled.

“What?” Gordon asked incredulously. “You wanna run that by me again, Benry? What’s that?”

Benry shoved the remainder of his toast in his mouth and simply walked past Gordon, gathering up his boots and coat. Beef perked up at that, abandoning her bowl to join Benry dutifully. Emmet brushed his hands off on his shirt as he followed Benry, nodding at Gordon as he passed him.

“First things first, we gotta shovel out our driveway.” Emmet announced, Benry already heading out the front door with Beef and slamming it shut. “Gotta dig out our car before we can dig out yours. If you wanna help out after you’ve had some breakfast, I’ll be out front.”

Gordon nodded, glancing at the kitchen counter again. There was more than just toast set out; it was a whole assortment of eggs, bacon, and a bowl of fruit. Gordon muttered a quick “thank you” and took Joshua to the counter, where he handed him a slice of toast. As much as he was willing to skip out on breakfast for himself in order to get out of this horrible place faster, he couldn’t ask the same of Joshua, after all. Joshua messily crunched on it, getting crumbs all over Gordon—being a dad for the past three years, though, Gordon hardly noticed it. With Joshua heavily occupied by eating, Gordon found the silence in the kitchen with Benry’s mom to be very uncomfortable.

“Um...Miss—uhh—I-I don’t know your name.” Gordon said, giving her an awkward laugh. “Miss...Benry’s mom?”

“You can call me Moula.” She replied, sipping her coffee.

“Wh—is that really your name?”

“Why shouldn’t it be?”

Gordon cleared his throat and nodded. “...Okay, sure. Um, Miss Moula—so...I guess I just gotta ask. I don’t mean any offense when I ask this, of course! I mean, uhh...” He stopped himself, pausing to take a piece of bacon and eat it so he could gather his thoughts before he said something stupid. “So Benry’s...like, obviously not human. He told me that when we first met, he turned huge and has these weird powers—there’s no denying it or anything. So—are you...did you like...find him? Or are you...?”

Moula just gave him a flat expression the whole time Gordon fumbled, even going as far as to sigh irritably once he finally circled around to his real question. She set down her mug and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“I adopted him.” She answered, staring down at her mug. “It’s never been a secret, what he is. Or I guess, the fact that we don’t know what he is. Everyone he ever grew up with already knew.”

“I...” Gordon deflated a little. “I-I guess I would’ve expected that to be a...a bigger deal?”

“Why?”

“Well—I mean—what is he, an alien? A demon? Something we don’t even have a word for?” Gordon said with an incredulous laugh. “Isn’t that, like, fucking insane? It’s just normal to you all, that you have no idea what he even is? Wouldn’t you wanna know where he came from, what he’s capable of, if there’s more of him? I mean, he’s dangerous! Haven’t you seen what he can do?!”

“I’ve seen he can be capable of great things.” Moula said, standing up and taking her empty mug to the sink. “He was a lot to raise, yes, but he never hurt anyone intentionally. Not unless, of course, he felt like he had to.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?" Gordon demanded as Joshua reached for the remainder of the bacon in Gordon’s hand. Gordon handed it to him absent-mindedly as he continued. “Are you implying you think I started what happened?! I was just trying to do my job! I don’t know what the hell he told you about me, but I can guarantee you at least 80% of it isn’t true! I don’t know what’s going on in that guy’s head, but he’s—”

“Gordon, I’m letting you stay here mostly out of concern for your son.” Moula interrupted, giving him a firm look. “Could you at least try to show me the same courtesy, and not just...”

As Moula spoke, she leaned heavier against the counter, her voice faltering. When she trailed off suddenly, Gordon furrowed his brow, watching her sway and slump over, falling to the floor in a heap.

“M-Miss Moula?!” Gordon asked in shock, setting Joshua down and circling around the counter to kneel down beside her. Gently, he put a hand to her shoulder, and her eyes fluttered open again. “Holy shit, are you okay?”

Moula batted Gordon’s hand away, sitting up and putting a hand to her head. “I’m fine. I just...got dizzy.” She said shakily. She started to stand, Gordon reaching out to help her, but she waved him away again and stood on her own. “Help yourselves to anything here.” She murmured, walking slowly towards the staircase.

Gordon watched her head upstairs cautiously, half expecting her to fall again. She didn’t, though, making it all the way up safely. Gordon scooped up Joshua again, taking him to the mini-foyer to bundle him up. Once they were both ready to face the harsh conditions outside, he took Joshua’s hand to lead him out the front door, finding Emmet with a snow shovel by the truck.

“Hey, Emmet?” Gordon called, carefully stepping off the porch with Joshua to join him in the driveway. “Listen, so—your mom just fainted or something...”

Emmet dropped the shovel, letting it sink into the snow he was shoveling aside. “Fuck—is she still down?” He asked, already pushing past Gordon to jog inside.

“She got up and headed upstairs.” Gordon called to him as he paused at the front door. “I tried to help her, but she wasn’t really letting me.”

Emmet just nodded and stepped inside, shutting the front door behind himself. Gordon looked out across the expanse of snow around the house; it had been hard to tell out in the storm, but now it was clear that Benry and his family really did seem to live out in the middle of nowhere. He couldn’t even see the interstate from here—probably a product of the snow, but it created a distinct illusion of this house and the looming mountains nearby being the only anchor points Gordon currently had. Glancing back at the house, Gordon picked up the shovel Emmet had dropped, trying to work on his behalf to dig the truck out. His prosthetic hand had no traction against the shovel, though—it was a struggle to feel like he was making any real progress. Joshua began helping the best he could with just his hands, only barely displacing the snow he scooped up, but Gordon appreciated his efforts regardless.

Emmet was inside for quite some time; Gordon had begun to focus heavily on his task, only looking up when he realized he heard the crunching of snow beside him growing more distant. Joshua was tottering along to maneuver around the house, leaving Gordon behind. Gordon dropped the shovel and trudged through the thick snow after him.

“Josh! Come back, kid, you gotta stay in my line of sight!” Gordon called after him.

Joshua just glanced back at Gordon and grinned, starting to run away. Gordon was shocked by the ground he made, being so tiny and fighting against snow practically half his height. Chasing him around the back of the house, urging him to come back, they came upon a barn past an open fence and a path already shoveled out through the snow. Once Joshua reached the path, he took off faster, running to the barn and slapping his palms against the door. The door creaked open at his command, and before Gordon knew it, he disappeared inside.

“Joshua Freeman, come back or you’re not getting the gnome the rest of this trip!” Gordon warned loudly as he stumbled through the snow. His threat seemed to make no impact on his son, though; instead of Joshua coming back to Gordon sheepishly, he heard shouting, barking, and a loud moo inside the barn. Gordon pushed the door open, finding Joshua grasping the face of a cow laid down on its stomach, Benry trying to nudge Joshua away from the cow as Beef stood guard in front of four other cows.

“Get your kid away from my cow.” Benry called when he took notice to Gordon.

“Get your cow away from my kid!” Gordon retorted, despite Benry’s clear efforts to do just that. Gordon hurried inside and scooped Joshua up.

“Nooo!” Joshua wailed, squirming in Gordon’s arms and trying to reach back out for the cow. Benry stood between the cow and Gordon with a defensive look on his face.

“Dude, I’m not gonna hurt your cow.” Gordon scoffed.

“I don’t know that.” Benry argued. “Keep your kid outta here, she hurt her leg last night, don’t need a baby making it worse.”

Gordon looked down at the cow again. One of her back legs was heavily bandaged; looking back up at Benry, Gordon couldn’t help the question spilling out of his mouth.

“Is this the cow that was out there last night?” Gordon asked, indicating down at her.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Benry muttered, turning away from him to kneel down by the cow again. Beef took up a defensive position between Benry and Gordon, forcing Gordon to back away a couple steps.

“You gotta like, secure your fucking cows better, man! Pretty sure she was the one who made me crash last night in the first place.” Gordon scolded regardless of Beef, already preparing to leave the barn.

“It’s not my fault!” Benry shouted, standing back up quickly. “What, you think I wanted her to get hurt? Fuck you, man, you’re probably the reason she messed up her leg out there.”

“How’s that my fault?” Gordon demanded. “If she wasn’t out there in the first place, none of this would’ve happened! I’d be up at the cabin with everyone else instead of stuck here with you!”

“If you wanna leave so bad, you’d better get back out there and start shoveling, shovel-boy.” Benry said, waving his hand vaguely towards the door.

“Don’t call me—” Gordon growled and whirled around on his heel to stalk towards the door. “Fine! Not like I see you helping at all, though!”

“Uhh, I’m busy.” Benry called back to him as Gordon left the barn.

Gordon just slammed the barn door shut rather than replying, beginning to trudge back to the front of the house as he cursed under his breath.

At the front of the house, Gordon found Emmet again, back at it with the shovel and something Gordon only vaguely recognized by his side. It had two handles—one at the top, and one sticking out halfway down the length of the device, with a big clunky box at the bottom propped up on wheels and a spout pointing out from the box. Emmet noticed Gordon approaching and nodded at him.

“Saw from the window you were having some trouble.” Emmet commented, pointing at the device. “I don’t like using it, myself—it’s pretty loud—but we’ve got a snow thrower here. Might be easier for you.”

“Oh, um—thanks.” Gordon replied, setting Joshua back down in the snow. “Listen, Josh. I know the cows are exciting, but you gotta stay here with me, okay?”

Joshua huffed as he looked back towards the barn.

“Here, watch this.” Gordon said enticingly, looking at the snow thrower.

It took him a moment to figure out how to turn it on, but it quickly sputtered to life, and Gordon clumsily shoved it towards a patch of very throwable-looking snow. Snow spewed from the spout in an arc far to the side, Joshua becoming immediately entranced by it. He ran to where the snow landed, letting it fall over him like a waterfall. Gordon laughed as Joshua followed the snowfall, willfully getting covered in it.

“Is your mom okay?” Gordon called over the noise to Emmet.

“Huh? Yeah, she’s fine.” Emmet called back.

“That’s good. She kinda scared me there.”

“What?”

“I said, that’s good!” Gordon shouted over the snow thrower. Emmet just nodded and proceeded with his work.

The snow thrower was easier to work with—Gordon wasn’t envious of Emmet using just a shovel, by any means—but while he made good progress down the long dirt road, he still had to put a lot of force into pushing it. Back burning, Gordon found himself in desperate need to sit down. Looking towards Emmet, he seemed to be on the same page, throwing the shovel down and stretching.

“Where the hell is Benry, anyway?” Emmet asked once Gordon turned the snow thrower off. “He was supposed to help us after he was done with the cows.”

Gordon elected not to say anything as he fell in step with Emmet, walking back towards the house with him. Joshua followed eagerly, probably freezing after rolling around in the snow so much. Pushing back inside and shedding their coats, Gordon heard the sink running in the kitchen. Emmet headed further inside first, Gordon hearing an annoyed sigh as he released Joshua.

“Benry, what are you doing? We’ve been breaking our backs out there.” Emmet said with irritation.

Gordon stepped further inside once he was able, finding Benry at the sink washing dishes.

“I’m busy.” Benry replied, holding up the soapy sponge in his hand to illustrate his point.

“Clearing the driveway is easy for you! We got the detail work done, you do the rest.” Emmet said, pointedly dropping his snow-covered gloves on the counter and heading towards the staircase. “We don’t have that much time, remember? I still have to go to work, you gotta drop me off.”

“You and your job.” Benry scoffed as Emmet hurried upstairs. Benry shook water off his hands, giving Gordon a frustrated look—even just his existence seemed to be pissing him off now, shockingly—and walking past him to get to the front door.

Gordon followed just short of the door, instead staying inside to watch from the window how Benry would take care of the snow. Benry walked out to where Gordon and Emmet had left off, stretching his muscles before taking the shovel and snow thrower to toss them out of his way. Gordon blinked, and suddenly, Benry was huge again. Gordon shouted in kneejerk fear, backing up from the window too quickly and falling on his ass. After taking a moment to recover, Gordon crawled up to the window again, peering over the bottom edge to see outside. Benry was just scooping snow with his hands, pushing it off to the side like he was playing around. In the distance, as Benry worked, Gordon could see a giant snowplow go by down the interstate; whoever it was driving, they didn’t stop, despite the giant man in plain sight. Benry even fucking waved at the plow, and they just continued on their way.

“Jesus Christ.” Gordon breathed to himself, heart racing. Once the driveway was clear, Benry turned small again, looking back at Gordon through the window like he knew he had been there all along. Gordon quickly stepped to the side of the window, as if it would do him any good in hiding. The front door opened, and all Gordon could do was just stand there, watching Benry come inside.

“The fuckin’—goddamn driveway’s done.” Benry called up the stairs to Emmet. “Get down here, man.”

“Give me a minute!” Emmet called back. “I can’t find my nametag.”

Benry laughed in a strange, almost deadpan way. “What, lost your identity?”

Emmet loudly returned an imitation of Benry’s weird laugh from upstairs. All the while, Gordon was still recovering from the reminder of his horrific trauma just moments before; he slid down the wall to sit on the floor, his chest feeling tight as he did his best to control his breathing. Benry ignored Gordon, just walking back into the kitchen and returning with a ring of keys.

“Be in the truck.” Benry said to Gordon half-heartedly, walking back outside.

Gordon forced in a deep breath as Joshua appeared by his side, mysteriously holding the gnome—hadn’t he left that thing upstairs? Gordon thought.

“My kissing meter is low! You have to kiss me!” The gnome said.

Gordon burst into a loud, strained laugh. “Oh my god, man. Who made this thing?” He asked, feeling at least marginally distracted from the oncoming potential of a panic attack.

“Do it!” Joshua urged Gordon, holding the gnome out to him. “He said so!”

Gordon rolled his eyes, taking the gnome and kissing its forehead. “There. I kissed it. Looks like we’re leaving in a minute, so let’s get our coats back on.”

“We’re going to the cabin?” Joshua asked as Gordon forced himself to his feet, putting on a brave face as he worked to bundle them back up.

“Yeah, umm—not right now, but soon. I think.” Gordon replied uncertainly.

As Gordon was just finishing zipping up his own coat, Emmet was coming back down the stairs, wearing a long-sleeved blue shirt, dark jeans, and a black apron with a nametag on it sporting his name in Comic Sans. Emmet nodded at Gordon, collecting his own coat to pull on.

“We’re gonna go out and find your car first.” Emmet announced to Gordon as he got himself ready to head outside. “We’ll hook it up to the truck and take you into town. Benry’ll drop me off at work, get you and your car to someone who can fix it, and you should be good.”

“R-right. Okay.” Gordon said with a nod. They were almost done with this—soon, he and Joshua would be around normal people, and they could keep their distance from this place for the rest of their lives.

With Joshua and the gnome, Gordon followed Emmet out to the truck, where Emmet opened the passenger door and climbed in. Gordon crawled into the back, where he had to push aside a bunch of tools, jackets, and old food wrappers to get enough space to sit. When he looked back up at the front seat, finally processing that Benry was the one driving, Gordon couldn’t help but feel a jolt of anxiety. Why couldn’t Emmet drive? He lamented.

Aside from a hasty turnaround to head down the dirt road, though, Benry drove surprisingly steadily. Gordon still held onto Joshua tight as they arrived at the interstate, Emmet pointing to Benry the direction Gordon’s car would be. In the rearview mirror, Gordon could see Benry smile suddenly as he dug around beside his seat and put a cassette tape into the player. Immediately, horrible noise blasted through the speakers, Gordon cringing at the sound. Emmet at least turned it down, making it tolerable enough for Gordon not to start shouting demands to turn it off.

“I think it was around here.” Emmet said, staring out the windshield carefully. “Should be on that side...”

Gordon looked out the window, watching for his car. The snow was so high, he wasn’t sure how easy it’d be to spot; Emmet was on top of it, though, patting Benry’s shoulder and pointing. “There it is, stop here.” He said.

Benry slowed the truck down, making a U-turn to pull up on the shoulder of the road closest to Gordon’s car. Gordon set Joshua aside with the gnome.

“Okay, Josh, we’re gonna get our car, I need you to stay put for me.” Gordon told him seriously.

“Oh, no, we don’t need your help.” Emmet said as he and Benry opened their doors. “This’ll only take a second.”

Gordon stopped, watching them climb out together and approach Gordon’s car to size it up. Before Gordon knew it, Benry was massive again, pushing snow around with his forefinger before simply plucking it out. Gordon frantically opened his door to shout at Benry.

“Whoa—hold up, be careful with my car!” Gordon yelled, watching Benry cup it in the palm of his hand like it was a toy.

“I am being careful.” Benry retorted, picking it up in his other hand to set down on the road behind the truck.

He cautiously nudged it just a little closer, Emmet circling around to the back of the truck and grabbing something from the bed. Gordon watched from the back window as they hooked the two cars up, ready to drag Gordon’s mess to town. Once they were finished, the two of them climbed back into the truck, and Benry started it up to continue down the interstate.

“Uh...th-thanks.” Gordon said awkwardly. “Kinda expected that to be a lot harder...”

“No problem.” Emmet replied as Benry just shrugged.

Gordon let himself fall into the background on the way to town; Benry played his weird noise music, he and Emmet went back and forth about stupid things, and finally, Benry hit an exit into what must’ve been the town they were referring to. Most of the buildings looked old and worn, snow piled up heavily wherever it seemed reasonable to leave it. At least the streets and sidewalks had been taken care of, making it easy for Benry to pull up to what quickly became apparent as a car mechanic. Finally, Gordon thought as he eagerly climbed out of the truck with Joshua in his arms—they were done. Benry would drop them off, drive away forever, and Gordon would never have to deal with him again.

As Benry and Emmet worked at unhooking Gordon’s car from their truck, Gordon headed inside to announce his presence to whoever would be fixing it. He didn’t see anyone at first; the front counter was empty, and nobody was in the waiting room. Gordon found a bell on the counter and tapped it, the loud ting ringing out into the empty waiting room.

“Hello?” Gordon called as he set Joshua down. “Um—I got a car that needs fixing.”

There was silence for a few moments before something happened in Gordon’s body—like his lungs and heart suddenly all contracted together, as if they were struggling to restart themselves after a near-untimely death. Gordon gasped, putting his hand to his chest as he caught his breath and braced himself against the front counter.

“Hello...Dr. Freeman.” A familiar deep voice echoed into the room.

Gordon whirled around, finding a sharp figure silhouetted against the glass doors of the repair shop. He stepped forward into the fluorescent lighting, making it abundantly clear to Gordon who he was.

“Wh—...Tommy’s dad?” Gordon asked in disbelief. “I mean—M-Mister...Coolatta?”

“Yes, Dr. Freeman, it’s...good to see you again.” Mr. Coolatta greeted, stopping in front of Gordon.

Gordon glanced down to Joshua to pick him up, pausing as he realized once again, just like in Black Mesa, Mr. Coolatta appeared to have frozen time. Gordon looked back up at him, backing up against the counter uncomfortably.

“What are you doing here?” Gordon asked incredulously. “What could you possibly want from me now?”

“I thought it was—rather clear, what the situation is.” Mr. Coolatta said with surprise. “We were...working together, back in Black Mesa, weren’t we? We were...‘on the same page’. We both wanted—Benry stopped, and...disposed of. Didn’t we?”

Gordon looked out the door towards Benry, frozen in time alongside his brother. Benry’s arm was reared back with a snowball in hand, clearly taking advantage of the fact that Emmet had his back turned to him.

“I—I thought you couldn’t freeze Benry.” Gordon said, furrowing his brow and looking back at Mr. Coolatta. “Right? I mean, you seemed pretty surprised when he was moving around and talking when you froze everyone else.”

“Yes, that was...rather shocking.” Mr. Coolatta admitted, adjusting his tie. “But, I am...a resourceful man. It shouldn’t be a problem, anymore. You and I can—talk privately.”

“I’m not sure I want to.”

Mr. Coolatta looked genuinely confused by this, tilting his head and furrowing his brow. “Why is...that, Mr. Freeman? Like I said, we have...the same goal, don’t we?”

“I mean—I guess? But why me?” Gordon asked, putting a hand to his chest. “Why am I the guy you come to for this shit? I just wanna move on with my life! Can’t you get someone else to do whatever all this is for you?”

“I cannot.” Mr. Coolatta replied simply. “I’m...not sure what makes you—different, Gordon Freeman, but you are different. Severed, from...Benry’s influence, in a way that makes you invaluable to me.”

“...Severed?” Gordon echoed. “What does that mean?”

“It is...difficult to explain, with just words.” Mr. Coolatta replied. Gordon blinked; as he opened his eyes, he blinked a few more times in confusion, realizing everything around him had gone dark—dark enough, he couldn’t even see Mr. Coolatta in front of him. His arm ached with the ghost of a previously all-consuming pain; just a dull ache, now, but his chest made up the difference by tightening in a sharp, agonizing way. “I will simply...have to show you.”

Gordon yelped as he felt a hand on his shoulder, jumping and holding his arms up defensively. “What—where are you?! Don’t touch me, man!”

“My...apologies, Dr. Freeman.” Mr. Coolatta’s voice echoed around him. It was hard to pinpoint where exactly it was coming from, but it seemed loudest behind him, so Gordon turned around. Sure enough, there he was, hands empty of the briefcase he normally held. “It is...essential to what I must—show you. Please, allow me.”

Gordon groaned. “Fine. Make it quick.”

Gordon turned back around, and he felt the hand on his shoulder again. Somehow, a coldness seemed to seep through even his thick coat, permeating from where Mr. Coolatta’s hand touched him. Gordon shivered as he felt another on the back of his neck, underneath his ponytail. He was about to snap and step away, only stopped by a harsh sensation against his neck, paralyzing him. He wasn’t sure if he could say it hurt or not; it felt like the cold rush of fresh blood after he’d been pinning a limb down too long—stopping the blood flow and making the area fall asleep—only tenfold. It rippled down his entire body, and Gordon shut his eyes tightly.

“Wh—what is this?” Gordon asked shakily.

“Look...for yourself.”

Gordon forced his eyes back open, gasping at what he saw. It wasn’t just dark, but the shop and everything else was gone entirely. All around him, even under his feet, there were now thin streams of gold, twisting around one another and stretching as far as he could see in every direction. They glowed slightly, illuminating absolutely nothing but one another—even strings that were close enough for Gordon to touch didn’t gleam off his prosthetic arm, as though they weren’t there at all. Looking up again, he realized there was something else here—it had been difficult to catch among all the golden strings, but it was massive, impossibly dark even against the inky blackness between golden strings, with dozens of white and blue eyes trained on him. Fear shot through his body, and he clutched his chest, shutting his eyes tightly as he struggled to stay upright.

“S-stop! What is this?” Gordon demanded.

All at once, the sensation stemming from the back of his neck was gone. Gordon let out a sigh of relief, slumping forward a little and heaving in a deep breath. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell there was more light than before, so he risked squinting an eye open slightly. Determining that nightmare vision was gone, Gordon opened his eyes fully, finding the repair shop intact around him again.

“What you...saw, was only a fraction of—the strings that make this dimension.” Mr. Coolatta said, standing tall in front of Gordon again. “And...of course...I showed you Benry. What he—truly is.”

Gordon wheezed and caught himself off guard with a loud, involuntary laugh. “Jesus Christ. What the hell?”

“Yes, it is...rather shocking, I’m sure.” Mr. Coolatta sympathized.

“Why would you—what was all that stuff around us?” Gordon asked, leaning back against the counter as his head spun. “Why was Benry like that? What is he, even?”

“I’ve told you, that—stuff—is the strings that...make this, dimension.” Mr. Coolatta repeated with clear exasperation. “It’s not—very complicated, Dr. Freeman. I only showed you a, portion of it, it should be...rather self-explanatory.”

Gordon laughed again, high-pitched and hysterical. “Self-explanatory? Self-explanatory? Right, of course. Thank you, Mr. Tommy’s dad, I really understand everything now.”

“Good, I am...very glad you—understand me now.” Mr. Coolatta said with satisfaction, straightening his tie.

“No, no—that was sarcasm, dude, I don’t understand anything.” Gordon said quickly, holding a hand up. “So—okay. Fine. Strings, dimensions, whatever, sure. You didn’t answer my other question. You gotta know what Benry actually is, right?”

“Yes, I...know, exactly, what he is.” Mr. Coolatta said with a nod, turning to look at Benry out the door. “In Black Mesa, I told you—that...Benry’s nature is, on a need-to-know basis. However, I am...acting outside my—employers’, desires for the time being, as I believe...it would be beneficial for you, to—understand, what we are...‘up against’.

“I struggled—for a time, figuring out how I would...explain this to you.” Mr. Coolatta continued, turning back to Gordon to give him a serious look. “The dimensional strings that—I showed you...exist in a, space, that is connected, yet separate, from the space—we occupy now. This space could not—exist, without it, as the strings...inform this physical space. Very much like...code, in a video game. The dimensional strings are—essentially, code, to ‘run’ this dimension.”

Gordon’s mind grew fuzzy as Mr. Coolatta explained. How was he meant to react to being told the secrets of reality by some alien, who also just so happened to be his friend’s dad, who was also trying to get him to kill someone for a second time?

“Technically, everyone...except myself—occupies this ‘code’ space.” Mr. Coolatta prattled on, clearly unaware of Gordon slowly losing his grip on his explanation. “I am, not from this dimension, after all—therefore, I cannot occupy it. Benry himself is...another special case—quite the opposite of, mine, actually. Benry is a being that...thrives in this ‘code’ space, and does not—technically—occupy your physical space.”

“But...he’s right there.” Gordon interrupted, pointing at Benry out the door.

“Yes, he is—very advanced in his skill.” Mr. Coolatta hummed, glancing back at Benry. “He creates...only an illusion—of, occupying physical space, by masterfully manipulating the—‘code’, of your dimension, and even feeds off of it. He is a form of...parasite, if you will.”

“That’s...fucked up.” Was all Gordon could think to say.

“Now, as I’ve stated...I am, unable to—manipulate these strings, the way Benry...or those of this dimension, intrinsically can.” Mr. Coolatta said. “This means that—my impact, that I can have on...Benry, is very limited. I cannot kill him in—a way that matters. You’ve seen the way he...comes back to life, of course. That is why...I must have someone, of this dimension, kill him on...my behalf. The trouble is—Benry’s manipulation of...those around him. This makes it—nearly impossible, for me to find someone who is...even emotionally capable of, killing him.”

Gordon stared at Mr. Coolatta as he processed the implication. “Wait—so...” He paused, rubbing his temples. “Are you saying that nobody but me thinks Benry is weird, because he’s like—manipulating their brains into thinking he’s normal?”

“Essentially, yes.”

Gordon snorted, another hysterical laugh forcing its way out of him. He slapped the counter like he’d just heard the funniest joke in the world, even doubling over until the laughing fit subsided. He took a deep, steadying breath, wiping tears from his eyes and giving Mr. Coolatta his attention again.

“Oh my god. That explains literally everything.” Gordon finally said with a sigh. “Okay, you said I was ‘severed’? What makes me so special?”

“That much...is unclear.” Mr. Coolatta replied. “In most cases, there is...usually at least, one or two, who are untouched by the...parasite’s influence. Myself and, my employers, can only speculate on why.”

“So there’s more of these—fucking—whatever Benry is? These...dimensional parasites?” Gordon asked, stepping around Mr. Coolatta to stand in front of the door and look at Benry. “Where do they even come from?”

“Someplace...out of our reach.” Mr. Coolatta replied, standing beside Gordon with his hands behind his back. “They can—arrive to, any dimension, in any timeframe. We are unsure if...they pick and choose where they go, or if it’s...involuntary. All we can do is—anticipate their arrival. I’ve been on Earth for...much longer, than Benry has, waiting for him to—get here, and...to find him. He was—particularly difficult to...find, though, and now he’s...already so entrenched in this world. I’ve rarely found myself in—such a difficult position before, facing these parasites.”

Gordon stared at Benry. With the snowball in his hand, looking at Emmet, he had a massive grin on his face. He looked happy. Something about it made Gordon’s stomach churn with discomfort. Benry had rooted himself into this family, used his otherworldly powers to force them to care—didn’t he feel guilty at all? Could something like him even feel guilt for its actions?

“What happens if we just...leave him?” Gordon asked Mr. Coolatta. “Not that I want to, of course, but I wanna get a feel for like...what the consequences are if we fail.”

Mr. Coolatta gave Gordon a solemn look. “The consequences can—vary intensely, depending on...the circumstances. It’s difficult to say—what exactly may happen, but you...must trust me, when I say that I’ve seen—horrific outcomes, if a parasite is left...to its devices too long. The strings it—feeds, off of, atrophy and die. The results can be, rather abstract, but terrible nonetheless.”

Gordon crossed his arms, looking to Emmet, blissfully unaware of Benry. Unaware of the incoming snowball, unaware of his brother’s horrific origins...

“Yeah. Okay.” Gordon nodded firmly. “I’ll kill him again. But...how?”

“As you’re—well aware of, at this point, the...situation is rather complicated.” Mr. Coolatta said, turning to Gordon to look at him fully. “He is...incapable of, conventional death, at this point. He’s—tethered himself, to something in this...dimension, making it impossible to...terminate him without severing that tether. I’d thought at the time, the—concept he had tethered himself to was...the passports. Clearly, however, this is not the case, as he is still here. In order to...dispose of him permanently, we must—figure out what it is that he’s...tethered to now, and how to...disconnect him from it.”

“How can we tell what that is?” Gordon asked, looking with worry back at Emmet. “Would he ever be tethered to, like, a person?”

“That’s...not unheard of. In fact, I have my concerns...” Mr. Coolatta paused, shaking his head. “Well, perhaps—I should not cloud your...judgment, with my own paranoia. That’s why I, need your help, after all. It’s possible you—a being of this...dimension—would be able to...find his tether easier than I. In order to—figure out what that is, I need you to...watch him, and study him. There will be something he—seems rather attached to, that appears to...make him more vital.”

Gordon looked at Mr. Coolatta closely. “So...you’re saying in order to kill him...I have to sit around and spend time with him, first?”

“That would...likely be the easiest way.”

“Oh, fucking Christ.” Gordon groaned, burying his face in his hands. After allowing himself a few moments to lament his situation, he turned away from the door, walking towards Joshua’s frozen form. “Fine. Whatever. If I have to, I guess I will—but on one condition.”

“As long as...it is reasonable.”

“I get that if you take him somewhere else right now, it might give some shit away.” Gordon said, putting a hand on Joshua’s head. “But you gotta at least give me the opportunity to get Josh away from Benry. Maybe I’ll ask Tommy to watch him, or maybe drop him off with his other dad or something—but I can’t let Joshua get all roped up in this. Alright?”

“That, of course...makes perfect sense.” Mr. Coolatta conceded. “I will...be watching, Dr. Freeman. If you ever need—to, speak with me directly, simply...rest your hand down to your side, and hold out two fingers.”

Gordon watched Mr. Coolatta demonstrate. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or creeped out that Mr. Coolatta would be keeping such a close watch over him that he anticipated relying on this signal. It was probably for the best, though, Gordon decided; and a lot better than his situation in Black Mesa, being kept in the dark with absolutely no help from this guy with all the answers.

“Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.” Gordon said. “So...I guess I’ll keep you updated.”

“Please do.” Mr. Coolatta replied, straightening his tie and standing up taller. “Of course, in return for...your condition, I actually—have a condition of my own, to this arrangement.”

“Is that how it works? You’re already making demands of me, but...fine, whatever.” Gordon conceded.

“Don’t tell...the science team, of our arrangement.” Mr. Coolatta said, unfazed by Gordon’s criticism. “Least of all—Tommy. As I’m...sure you’d agree, they would—likely get...in the way of our plans.”

“But I mean...they helped me kill Benry that one time.” Gordon pointed out thoughtfully. “I feel like they’d understand why I gotta do this, right?”

“Those were—rather...extreme circumstances.” Mr. Coolatta told him. “I don’t believe...they’d be so, quick, to understand again, what with—Benry’s influence. It’s easier on...both of us, to keep this a secret.”

Gordon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “...Alright. Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.”

“I will let you...‘get back to it’, then. Good luck, Gordon Freeman.”

“Uhh...yeah...smell you later.”

Just as quickly as he’d appeared, Gordon blinked, feeling a palpitation in his chest as he disappeared and time restarted.

“Who was that?” The gnome demanded. “Throw me at him! I’ll stab him with my hat!”

Gordon laughed, ruffling Joshua’s hair and turning back to the counter just in time to see an older, stocky man step out from the back room. Gordon explained to him the situation, nodding out the door towards his car. Outside, Benry had already thrown the snowball, snow clinging to Emmet’s hair and sliding off his coat. Emmet bent over, messily collecting a loose handful of snow and throwing it back at Benry. Benry covered his face as he laughed, Emmet making sure to throw more snow at Benry until his hat was covered. Gordon trailed off in his explanation, watching them with anxiety churning in his stomach.

“You said you crashed...?” The mechanic asked as he started towards the door to look at the car.

“Right—yeah, I did.” Gordon replied, scooping up Joshua to follow him out. Benry and Emmet paused their play-fight, looking up at them as they pushed through the door. “I tried to look at the engine, but I couldn’t even get the hood open. It just won’t start, anymore.”

“Hi, Jim.” Emmet greeted the mechanic, shaking snow out of his hair and leaning back against his truck. “Do you want help taking Gordon’s car around back? I can hook it back up.”

“It’s a wonder, seeing you two here without it being your old truck having problems.” Jim said, playfully patting Benry’s shoulder. “I’d appreciate the help, if you have the time.”

“Our truck’s not that bad.” Benry retorted. “It’s my dad’s truck, man, don’t insult him.”

Jim gave Benry a confused look.

“Benry, stop trying to convince everyone we have a dad.” Emmet scolded as Benry got a smug look on his face.

Gordon watched as Benry made a strange motion with his hand. Holding it up to his chest with all fingers curled but his index, he made a plucking motion, and Emmet grunted and doubled over.

“Ugh! Don’t do that!” Emmet shouted as he smacked the back of Benry’s head.

“Owww! Dickhead!” Benry whined, holding the back of his head.

“Wh—dude, what was that? What did you just do?” Gordon asked with bewilderment. He had a pretty good idea, after that conversation with Mr. Coolatta—but seeing Benry openly use whatever this manipulation power was to get back at his brother for petty reasons made his blood run cold.

“He hit me, idiot.” Benry said, glaring at Gordon.

“No, no, I saw that.” Gordon argued, pointing at Benry. “I mean you. That—that thing you did with your hand?”

“Ugh, he does it all the time.” Emmet complained as he turned back to the truck, reattaching it to Gordon’s car with Jim. “Good luck trying to get him to explain how he does it, but every time he does, it makes this weird feeling in my chest.”

Hearing Emmet describe it so casually, like it was a completely normal thing for a brother to do to him—without even a comment from the mechanic listening in, no less—made Gordon almost feel dizzy. He looked back at Benry, furrowing his brow.

“Do me next!” The gnome shouted.

Benry looked at the gnome, making the motion with his hand again. The gnome jittered in Joshua’s hand, like it had some sort of gyrator inside it, and it made an odd, almost mechanical noise. Joshua laughed, shaking the gnome violently as if it was the same effect. Gordon held Joshua and the gnome away from Benry protectively.

“Stop it!” Gordon demanded. “What even is that?”

Benry had the gall to just shrug at Gordon before turning away, approaching Jim and Emmet to help them move Gordon’s car. Gordon stood there in stunned silence as they moved the car around the back of the mechanic’s shop, where he’d be taking a closer look at the damage. The truck reappeared around the corner without Gordon’s car, Emmet and Benry sat inside as Jim followed behind on foot.

“It’s going to be a little while.” Jim told Gordon. “I have another car that I’m working on today, I just have to finish up a few things before I can move on to taking a look at yours. You’d be better off finding somewhere to relax for a while than waiting here.”

“Come on, man, I gotta get outta here soon." Gordon pleaded, patting Joshua to illustrate his point. “You don’t know the kind of pressure I’m under right now to get my son up to my friends. It’s really, really important.”

“I’m sorry, Gordon, it is what it is.” Jim said with indifference, pulling out a little pocket notebook from his pocket. “I’ll call you when your car is ready. What’s your phone number?”

Gordon sighed, relaying his phone number to the mechanic. Jim nodded as he wrote it down and stuffed the notebook back into his pocket before turning to the truck.

“Hey, Emmet!” He called. Emmet rolled down the passenger window to hear him better. “You’re going to work, aren’t you? Your friend’s car is going to be a while, why don’t you make him and his kid comfortable at the diner?”

Emmet didn’t do a very good job of hiding a grimace, but he nodded regardless. “...Right. Good idea, Jim.”

“Uh—can’t I just hang out here and wait?” Gordon asked, nodding at the shop.

“No, sir, I’m too busy to keep an eye on customers in the shop.” Jim said sternly, heading back inside. “There’s better places around here to spend your time. Go see the town, eat some good food.”

Gordon sighed deeply and nodded as well, heading for the truck. “Uhh—see you later, man.” He called to Jim before climbing into the truck.

Benry glared at Gordon in the rearview mirror as he made himself comfortable. Gordon ignored him, putting on his seatbelt and holding onto Joshua tight as the car pushed forward. The diner wasn’t too far off; it would’ve been a miserable walk in the cold, making Gordon glad he hitched this ride after all. He’d sort of hoped Benry would say goodbye to Emmet and drive back home, but he climbed out of the truck as well once it was hastily parked.

The diner looked old from the outside, the rusted sign only barely reading “Beez Cafe” with a cartoon bee grinning and holding up a dinner plate. The inside was a little nicer, showing the signs of a recent restoration; barely anyone was here, though, just a couple people drinking coffee in booths and a family off to the side.

“Gimme a blekt.” Benry said as Emmet headed for the counter.

“I wish you wouldn’t call it that.” Emmet retorted, lifting a part of the counter to step behind it and closing it behind him. “Who even puts ketchup on a BLT? There’s already tomato on it.”

“I don’t judge how you eat your Pringles.” Benry said, plopping down on one of the barstools at the counter.

“Yes, you do. Literally every time, you do.” Emmet pointed out with an exhausted look on his face. After giving a quick nod to his coworker already behind the counter, who’d been preoccupied pouring someone a new mug of coffee, Emmet disappeared into the kitchen while Benry patted the counter.

Considering the lack of a host and tables already set up with menus, Gordon assessed this was a “sit anywhere” type of establishment, so he set Joshua down in a corner booth and sat down himself. Gordon’s stomach growled as he stared at the menu, and he remembered with a start how he’d barely eaten today so far. Despite everything, maybe being here was for the best, he thought as he negotiated with Joshua over what he should eat from the menu.

After deciding what to eat and relaying their orders to the waitress who asked, Gordon heard Emmet’s voice again from the counter. He leaned to the side a little to see him better, watching him set a plate down in front of Benry.

“I’m not gonna ruin a perfectly good BLT with ketchup, you do your disgusting crimes yourself.” Emmet said, giving him a bottle of ketchup to go with his sandwich.

“Man, something’s wrong with you after culinary school.” Benry griped, opening his sandwich and squirting a frankly disgusting amount of ketchup into it. “Don’t appreciate good food, anymore. Now it’s all like...about plating and ratios and profiles or something.”

“Uhh, the whole point of culinary school is appreciating good food.” Emmet argued, taking the ketchup out of Benry’s hand once he’d seen enough. “I always cared about that stuff! I just know more about it, now.”

“No, you used to make the best burgers.” Benry said with nostalgia in his voice. “Remember? When we’d go to that one kid’s house after school to wait for Mama Moula to pick us up after work, and you’d use their grill to make ‘em. So good.”

“They were dry. I overcompensated with too much sauce.”

“That’s what you think.”

Gordon balled up his hand into a fist, watching them with dread creeping up in his stomach. So many years of this—a whole childhood for them to discuss at length, and Emmet had no idea. They seemed so close; would Emmet even understand, if Gordon were to try and explain to him what Benry was? What was he going to think when Gordon finally figured out how to kill Benry for good...?

“Oh, boy.” Gordon breathed to himself, feeling nauseous from this responsibility.

Once their food arrived, Gordon could only pick at his for a while, wondering how he was going to inject himself into Benry’s life without risking his own. Joshua ended up distracting him from his thoughts by throwing a chicken tender across the room, landing on someone else’s table as they tried to eat. Gordon apologized profusely to the other customer, focusing more heavily on getting Joshua to eat his food properly. Gordon’s eyes were drawn to Benry again as he saw movement from the counter; he slid some money to the waitress stood behind it, saying goodbye to her as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and left the diner, not even giving Gordon a passing glance. Gordon let out a small relieved breath and returned to his food.

Gordon didn’t love how long he and Joshua loitered in the diner; he kept ordering more fries and coffee to compensate, but there was only so much caffeine he could take before his hands started to shake, and only so much he could do to keep Joshua entertained. Three hours went by before finally, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Gordon eagerly fished it out and flipped it open to accept the call.

“Hello? Jim?” Gordon asked eagerly.

“Yes, Gordon, your car is ready for you.” Jim replied. “It was an easy fix, fortunately. You can come on down and pick it up.”

“Thank you so much, man, I really appreciate it.” Gordon said, pulling out his wallet to pay at the counter. “We’ll be there in a few.”

With no other options, Gordon and Joshua had to walk back to the repair shop—at least it didn’t take too long, but Gordon’s body ached with protest after everything he’d been through today already. After paying Jim for his services and settling into his car with deep relief, Gordon pulled out his phone again, dialing Tommy’s number.

“Mr. Freeman?” Tommy greeted with an anxious voice. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s good, my car’s fixed and everything. I’m about to head up there.” Gordon told him, staring out his windshield at the little town. “I kinda wanna get up there as soon as possible, but dude, you’re in for a hell of a story when we get there.”

[previous | next]

[tofieldhome]

Me and some acquaintances are staying in a giant land lords mainsion just outside Huy somewhere in Belgium . I have a room for myself where I'm sitting in an open window on the first floor. Listening to the cars passing by in the distance. Afther I switched of the lights of the room I actually get to see something on the outside; a mysteriouse view of a bunch of pine trees grouped on the slope of what you could call a hill. Nothing that would pass as scary but in the moonless night and foggy fields , anything could pass as sinister.

While it slowly starts to rain I wonder why I'd go to such a place. Nothing to do but talk to cows and take a hike. Tho the calmth of this rainy night is making me feel broken loose of the city's far reaching chains . Do I miss these chains? Am I a slave of these or am I really choosing to be a part of this ant hill that we human's praise with fame and build under pressure. A city big enough to be just a worker in a giant network of insects. Lost in the crowds.

Sometimes I wonder if human's forgot that we are also animals. Because this social game that we use to call maiting ritual has turned into something completely manipulated by fashion and media. Neglecting the actual urges so many people have. Making people uncomfortable with saying what they think is right. Ofthen forgotten that our ancestors where as primal as the wolf that we manipulated to be our cuddly partners. As clever we human's perceive ourselfs to be, there are so many human's trying to manipulate you in the same way we did with dogs. Making those who don't have a clear opinion bend to their will with rewards and treats. Selecting those best fit to reproduce as role models or those representing what is out of reach to make the rest worry about their purpose and existance. To make people spend money to feel more sucure or closer to these role models. Some say money doesn't buy happinies. This may be true but it makes you feel suitable in the western world if you wear the latest fashion.

These are the things that worry me when sitting in the dark on a rainy night. Wondering about city life.

When i finnaly reach my bed, sleep is still far off. A few muscitos make sure I lay there listening till one comes near , just to switch on the light and end her already short life. Afther an hour of playing this waiting game I assume all of leeching insects are gone. Not to long afther that I fall in a dreamless sleep.

The morning after is a weird play of opening doors and few words.

The first to come in my room is my mother , asking how my night was. I tell her about the little bugs that kept me up. When I'm done she decides to let me be for a bit and leaves. Not even half an hour later my dad walks in. He tells me to "get up because their going for a walk and that its to late for me to join them any way" and closes the door.I should mention this Holliday is with both parrents but they have been divorced for 18 years now. No more than 10 min later my mother walks in again, asking me if I'm alright. Wondering why she'd be asking such a question I mention I forgot a towel wich makes her leave in search of one. 5 minutes later my dad comes in claiming my mom is worried about me. I tell him everything is oke I just need a towel so I can take a shower .. he walks out and throws me one of his and leaves. About 2 minutes later my mother walks in again with a towel. Noticese that I already have one and says she has to hurry because she's joining the walk. As it turned out the group that was going for a walk took about 40 min longer to depart as expected. So this gave my mother time to be annoyed about something. Now I wonder what she thought was going on.

2016, another style i haven't used since.

[five-rivers]

Beltane

Written for Ectober 2021 Day 1: Trick vs Treat. This is part of the Exhumed series.

.

Danny Fenton walked into the precinct. As often happened when he did this, all attention slowly turned to him. “Hi, Detective Patterson. Have you ever heard of Beltane?”

Patterson took a long swig of coffee through the plastic stir straw, because she felt the need to be at least a little drugged before dealing with whatever this was, and then said, “Is this the kind of thing the whole precinct needs to know about, or is it more specific to me?”

“Mm, not specific to you, but I’m not sure if everyone needs to know about it, yet.”

Despite only select members of the Amity Park police force knowing Danny Fenton had another identity, he’d become a sort of ‘ghost liaison’ for the precinct. Better him than the adult Fentons, who tended to break things even (especially) when they were being careful.

“Actually,” continued Danny, “you might have already noticed some things about it. I mean, it’s seasonal, and Mom and Dad were detecting ectoenergy and ghost activity spikes for events like this before they got the portal up and running. Although, the portal was supposed to stabilize and reduce those spikes… I guess reducing one isn’t bad?”

“Okay,” said Patterson. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about. Do you want me to go find Collins?”

“Oh, that might be a good idea.”

“Great,” said Patterson. She turned her head to shout across the room. “McGee. Go find Collins.”

“Still the new guy?” asked Danny, sympathetically.

“It isn’t like we’re a popular posting,” said Patterson, “and, thanks to the ghosts, we don’t really need new people.”

Danny nodded placidly. “I know. But it must be hard for him, don’t you think?”

.

McGee had done his job. He’d discovered the corruption in the Amity Park Police Department and plumbed its depths. The problem was that he could never, ever, report it. Even if they didn’t have a perfectly good cause for it all, what they were ‘hiding’ (and they were only barely doing that) was so ridiculous that McGee had thought he’d gone crazy at first.

Ghosts.

The whole of Amity Park was haunted. Just like it said in those touristy brochures at the front of the local diners.

He stuck his head into the break room. “Collins, Patterson and Fenton want you,” he said.

“In the normal room?” Collins asked, shoving a sugary monstrosity of a donut into his mouth.

“I have no idea. She didn’t say.”

“Normal room then. Great job, McGee.”

McGee rolled his eyes. Great job, he said. As if he’d done anything.

God. What would Halloween be like?

.

“So, it’s like, reverse Halloween?” asked Patterson.

“Well, not exactly,” said Danny. He patted Daisy, the department mascot slash corpse sniffing dog who had followed them into the small interview room, gently on the head. “Actually, there are more similarities than differences. Basically, like Halloween, we’re going to get a spike in ectoenergy. Maybe even some ectoplasmic storms. More portals. That kind of thing.” He shrugged. “Most holidays and seasonal divisions have them, you know.”

“So… we’re getting Halloween round two?” asked Collins.

“What do you bet that this is what gets McGee to snap?”

“He’s been here since December,” said Collins. “I think he’s too stubborn to leave.”

“Is he still spying?” asked Danny.

“No,” said Patterson, waving a hand. “He gave up on that, after a while. But there’s a new office bet about whether or not he’ll stay stay, or if he’ll decide to quit. We’re not allowed to join in because we know him too well.”

“Mm,” said Danny.

“I don’t actually know if I feel like I know him that well,” said Collins.

“Well,” said Danny, “it shouldn’t be as extreme as Halloween. Since, I mean, there aren’t as many religious holidays directly associated with death and stuff happening on or around May first. So. Yeah. But the thing is, there are some traditional, er, activities. Spirited activities.”

Collins suppressed a groan, and was glad that Captain Jones wasn’t available today. He and Danny could sling puns at each other for obscenely long periods of time.

“I’ve never noticed ghosts doing anything on May Day,” said Patterson.

“This is only the third year anyone’s even acknowledged that ghosts exist,” said Danny, “so I’m not really all that surprised. But the reason that I came to talk to you guys is that some of the ghosts want to do Beltane stuff. Like the fire blessings. Also, I’ve been told that some of the trees in town are secretly ghost trees, and if we don’t want to deal with another tree army, we need to do some stuff to appease them.”

“Secret ghost trees.”

“My source is very reliable,” said Danny. “Also, while I say ‘we don’t want to deal with it,’ I think we all know who’d be dealing with most of it.”

“You would,” said Patterson.

“Got it in one. Like, I can convince most of the ghosts to either do their Beltane stuff in the Ghost Zone, or somewhere out of the way. They’ll be disappointed, but I can do it. The ghost tree thing, though…”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know,” said Collins, “get rid of the ghost trees?”

“Well, they aren’t really evil ghost trees. Or even really ghost trees. They’re more… ghosts that live in trees?”

“What, like dryads?” asked Collins, raising his eyebrows.

“That’s what I said, but they’re different species, apparently.”

“Okay,” said Patterson, “so. Appeasing the trees. How many trees are we talking about here, and how are we going to appease them?”

.

“Okay, so, this is definitely a whole precinct kind of thing,” said Patterson.

“And possibly an ‘all civil servants’ type of thing,” added Collins. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where are we going to get the funding for this?”

“Oh, don’t worry about money,” said Danny. “I’ll just blackmail Vlad, and if that doesn’t work, I can get Mom and Dad to pay for it.”

“What,” said Collins.

“I think this might be a bit beyond your parents’ budget,” said Patterson, “but knock yourself out as far as Masters goes.”

“Well, I guess if it is,” he allowed, dubiously, “I could get the cults to pitch in?”

.

“This is nice,” said Danny. The sky was a bit overcast, which was a shame, but the hundreds of bright flowers and cheerful music more than made up for that.

The May Day celebration was, in Danny’s opinion, a success. At least, this half of it was turning out to be. He’d have to wait and see how the Spirit Bonfires went tonight before he could really make a judgement.

He’d only had to blackmail Vlad a little, too. It turned out that the ‘ruthless businessman’ in Vlad was ludicrously easy to manipulate, and once Danny brought up how a celebration like this one could revitalize local businesses and bring in tourism, he’d caved.

Although, that might have been the threat of an angry tree army. Vlad had definitely come off worse for wear in the last one, on all fronts.

Then, publically putting the Phantom Stamp of Approval (and Necessity Given The Potential Angry Tree Army) on the event had gotten buy-in from his fans and (sigh) the cults. The cults were, in fact, very enthusiastic about their new Holy Day. Danny had made a map of all the places they’d set up booths, and was studiously avoiding them.

Sam and Tucker were doing a walkthrough of that area, now, to check for problems and unadorned thorn trees. They’d arranged to meet up soon.

So, Amity Park was decked out in ribbons and flowers. All of the schools had gotten Maypoles and the day off of classes. Several bands, both human and ghostly, were playing in different parts of town.

It was chaotic, but great.

Danny briefly cut into the street to dodge a pair of college-age men play-fighting with tree branches (a genuinely important tradition symbolizing the battle between winter and summer), then walked through a wall to avoid two ghosts doing the same thing.

Finally, he reached Madame Babazita’s table.

“Hi,” he said, “three readings, please.”

“Three?” she asked. “Just for you?”

“My friends should get here before mine’s done,” said Danny. Was he channeling some predictive powers? Maybe. Holidays did make his powers weird.

.

“I have no idea what your reading is saying,” said Madame Babazita, after fifteen full minutes. “The cards simply aren’t speaking to me today. Also,” she held up an Uno card, “I’m not sure how this even got here.”

“That’s okay,” said Danny, “I just wanted to make sure it was the same as last time.”

.

“Hey! Phantom!” called Ember across the crowd of ghosts that had gathered in the cemetery. Most of them were fire or nature themed. “You’re in for a treat!”

Danny, who had been examining the flowers left on his grave, looked up. “I am?”

Ember draped her arm around Danny’s shoulder. She’d been a lot more friendly with him since the corpse incident. “Sure are.” She stepped up onto the surface of his memorial, pulling him up behind her. Danny shook off a brief chill and looked around.

Ghosts were streaming into the cemetery from various directions, bringing armfuls of flowers with them. Danny could see two, huge bonfire piles of flowers growing near the cemetery gates.

“Are there going to be cows?” asked Danny, who was still fuzzy on the details of the ghostly side of the celebrations.

“I don’t know,” said Ember. “When I’ve seen this done in the GZ there are. Here? Who knows. Maybe we’ll just walk through.”

Danny nodded, unworried. Beltane sure was an interesting holiday.

The last armful of flowers was placed, and every flower in the cemetery caught on fire at once. Including the ones on Danny’s grave. Danny yelped, jumping into flight. As an ice core ghost, he vastly preferred cold to heat.

This went without saying, but fire was very hot.

Ember grabbed his foot, and he almost kicked her. “You knew that was going to happen,” he accused.

“Sure did, babypop,” said Ember, grinning. “Come on, don’t you want to pass through the bonfires?”

Danny eyed the very large bonfires on either side of the cemetery gates. They were lit up with sparks like fireworks, shifting like flowers blooming and withering and blooming again. They were beautiful and impressive, and Danny felt like melting just by looking at them.

“I don’t know…” He wanted to, but… melting…

“Well, if you want to go out the other way and be horribly unlucky for the next year…”

Danny narrowed his eyes. “Is that another trick?” he asked.

Ember’s grin grew wider, and she took off towards the gates. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Danny sighed and followed her.

.

“Unbelievable,” said McGee. “Absolutely unbelievable.” He gave the elderly cultist a boost into the wagon.

“I know, right?” said Patterson. “All this property damage and a low-key kidnapping,” she gestured to the hapless late night partier who had called the police when the cult got too insistent about their message, “and they didn’t even have the good drugs?” She shook her head. “Not that we ever arrest anyone just for drugs in this town.”

“I did not just hear you say that,” muttered McGee.

“We’ll make an Amity Parker out of you yet,” said Collins, heartily, slamming the back door of the wagon. He thumbed the button on his radio. “Any other disturbances?” he asked.

“No, you’re good to come back,” said the dispatcher.

“What I don’t get,” said McGee, leaning against a nearby wall in a moment of weakness, “is why we aren’t breaking up whatever cult thing is happening in the cemetery.” They’d seen it quite clearly on their way here.

“Because those are ghosts,” said Patterson.

McGee took a deep breath. “The ghosts are having some kind of ritual in the cemetery, and you aren’t worried.”

“Not really, no.”

“I hate it here,” said McGee.

“Do you, though?” asked Collins, sounding genuinely interested in the answer.

McGee opened his mouth to snap back that, yes, he did. But…

Hm. Huh.

Collins patted him on the back.