#But yeah so I really really hate being called that

[captain-huggy-bear]

Priorities

Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Illness/comfort

Summary: When Quinn gets a text from you 2 hours before his game, he shows where his priorities lie when he drops it all for you.

Series: Teacher Reader series

Notes: I am not very well atm and I had to drive home dizzy from work the other day, the idea of Quinn being there to help has been stuck in my head so have some self indulgence from me.

A kind of sequel to In Sickness and in Health but you don't need to read that to read this.

Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)

Writing Masterlist

He's already at the rink getting ready for the game in the locker room when his phone goes off. You don't actually ring him, clearly doing that thing you always do where you're trying to not bother him on a game day, instead you send a quick text message. He expects the usual:

'Good luck on the game today, baby!'

Instead, the text he gets has him picking his phone up and calling you back in an instant, worry clouding his judgement and making his hands shake slightly.

'Hey, so guess who's being sent home because she's dizzy and can't breathe? I had my head between my legs for 20 minutes, definitely can't stand and teach. Have a good game x'.

You drop the good luck at the end like he's not supposed to be worried, like you've just casually told him about the weather and not that you we're struggling to breathe.

It doesn't really matter that Tocc is giving him the look, the one he reserves for when he's annoyed at the boys, or that half the locker room have stopped their own pre-game, pre-warm up routines to watch their captain frantically call you. He's pacing back and forth, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waits for you to pick up the phone.

"Quinn?" You sound so incredibly breathless its like listening to an asthmatic 80 year old who's smoked for half their life. Except you don't smoke and you're not asthmatic or 80 which makes the whole situation about 10 times worse because you shouldn't be struggling to breathe. You should be doing better today.

You've been ill, he knows this, a chest infection he forced you to get meds for on the weekend. Meds which should have started working by now, a heavy dose of antibiotics and steroids which were supposed to have helped. You'd felt well enough this morning to go in and give work another go, but he regrets letting you do that now. Clearly trying to stand up in front of teenagers and talk was not something you should have been doing, not when the school day had only started half an hour ago and you were already being sent home.

"Baby, are okay?" You're sitting on the front steps of the school with all your things when you answer the phone to Quinn's worried voice. You keep telling yourself you just need a minute, just a minute and then you won't feel so dizzy, won't feel so breathless. Just a minute and the tingles in your fingers will go and your hands will stop shaking so much. Just a minute and then you can drive home and get into bed.

"Y-yeah, I'm...I'm just breathless. I'll be okay...they're...they're covering my...my lessons and..." You stop for a minute, taking big deep breathes, you sound so laboured on the phone that Quinn can't help but clench his phone tighter in his hand, "and I'm going home now." Your breaths are wheezy, just like Saturday, in fact he's certain you sound worse.

"How are you getting home?" He knows the answer before you say it and he hates it before he even hears it. You're dizzy and breathless and there is no way you should be driving home at all, but he knows you. Self-reliant to a fault, a martyr, always pushing yourself past the point of no return because you think you're fine, because you convince yourself you're fine. Because you don't want to inconvenience anyone or cause more problems. You ask to little of people around you, expecting barely anything despite all you give.

"I'm...I'm going to...to drive."

"No. You're not. I'm going to come get you." You want to protest a lot more than you do if you're being honest. But, you're so tired and it's so hard to breathe and students wandering in late to school are staring at you like you're having a break down. So your protests are relatively lacklustre by your usual standard. That actually worries him more.

"It's...there's like 2 hours before the game...you've...you've got warm ups soon." You hate the idea of him missing warm ups or god forbid the game, all because you were too stupid to realise you shouldn't have gone into work in the first place.

"So, I'll get you, take you home and come back to the rink and play. I'll walk to the school tomorrow and collect your car so you don't have to worry about it. But, you aren't driving, baby. If you even try to get in that car I will being fucking pissed. I love you, you do not get in that car." You know he's serious in that moment, not just because he's very rarely angry at you or anyone but himself, outside of the rink, but because he's got that clipped tone he only uses when he's serious. This isn't a request, it's a direct order and you have no intention of disobeying it, not when you know he's right...not when it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside that he's so insistent about your wellbeing.

"But, what...what if you miss warm ups?" He loves how much you support him and his hockey, he always will, but he hates that your first thought is that hockey should come first. His girlfriend can barely breathe right now and he quite honestly doesn't give a flying fuck if he misses warm ups. The team had to pull themselves together at some point and you came first. Always. If they couldn't manage warm ups without him then what was the point of paying them so much money?

"Warm ups aren't my priority, baby. You are. Do not get in the car. Do not drive. Do not move. I'm leaving right now, okay? Just sit on the steps of the school and take deep breaths." He's already grabbing his keys, not even bothering to change out of his gear other than putting some proper shoes on so that he can actually drive. He knows it'll spark some speculation and rumours, Captain of the Canucks storming out of the arena 2 hours before puck drop in full gear except his skates, but he doesn't fucking care about that right now.

"...Okay...thank you, Quinny. I love you." You say it because in that moment you have never felt so loved, to have someone drop everything, something so important, to come get you...Maybe its the meds, maybe its the breathlessness, the infection, but you feel like crying a little because of how sweet he is even when he's bossing you about.

"I'll see you soon, baby. I love you too."

He doesn't waste time once he hangs up, just turns straight to Tocc and tells him, "I'll be back."

The look he gets is a mixture of disbelief, frustration and confusion and he really can't blame Tocc for it. Not when Quinn is the captain, the player that seems to make a massive difference on the ice, and he's about to run out the doors 2 hours before the game? Yeah, he knows Tocc doesn't want to hear it.

"Quinn, where you going? We have a game in 2 hours?!" He knows he's going to be cutting it fine with Vancouver traffic and getting to your school, the apartment and back to the arena, but he's not letting you drive. He could live with missing a game, losing a game, but he couldn't live with himself if he let you drive home and something happened. His job was to look after you, if he failed at that? What was the fucking point?

"Tocc, I'll be back. I promise. But, right now my girlfriend is unable to breathe and dizzy and I'm not letting her drive home, okay? Sooner I leave, sooner I come back."

Maybe it's the insistence on Quinn's face, the reality that if he was forced to stay he wouldn't play well anyway. Maybe it's that you and Tocc get along and he can see a hint of concern in the other man's eyes or maybe Tocc just trusts him that much. But, he actually agrees to let him go. Not that Quinn could really be forced to stay. They'd have to tie him to the bench.

"Okay, I'm trusting you."

"Thanks."

Quinn ignores every single person he storms past, every employee, every fan outside, every person with a camera that starts asking him where he's going as he starts his car with one destination in mind. Maybe he seems rude, maybe he seems standoffish, but he doesn't really care because right now you are sat on the steps of a school struggling to breathe and he just wants to see you and get you home and into bed.

He doesn't even care that he knows Tocc is going to be questioned about his absence or that he can already hear his phone pinging with notifications from social media, most likely people asking where he was going and speculating.

'Just saw Quinn Hughes storm out of Rogers Arena in full gear, finally got fed up of his team?'

'Um, is anyone else panicking that Hughes just left the arena like 2 hours before puck drop?'

'Captain Lexapro has officially lost it with this team, just stormed out of the arena!!'

He tries his best not to break any traffic laws getting to you, despite the fact he has a lead foot that wants to press harder on the accelerator. But, he knows you'd hate it and you'd worry more about him getting a ticket, so he just grips the steering wheel tighter until he's turning into the school car park.

He doesn't try to park in a proper space, just pulls up as close to you as possible before hopping out. Your head is between your legs, shoulders rising and falling in laboured breaths and he feels like he's been punched in the stomach at how bad you sound.

"Oh, baby..." He's kneeling on the dirty ground within seconds and you try, through broken gasps to tell him he'll get his hockey socks dirty, but he doesn't listen to you, just reaches to pull you into a hug.

"Let's get you home, okay? Tomorrow we're going back to the doctors, okay?" You're leaning your head into his shoulder so heavily that he's worried you might actually pass out. It's like the moment his arms wrap around you, you just give up on holding yourself up. In truth, that's kind of what happens. You just want to lean into him, soak up the comfort of your boyfriend lighting petting your hair and whispering into your ear.

"Don't y-you have...practice?"

"I think I can fit the doctors in around practice, baby..." He doesn't tell you, but he'd forgo practice for you. He doesn't care about anything but how you're doing and you're not okay. Quinn can see that better than anyone.

"Alright, up you get..." He stands first, hands reaching for yours to help pull you to your feet. You sway before him like you're on a 16th century galleon in a thunderstorm, forehead plonking on his chest heavily, "Atta, girl. There we go." He just strokes your hair and back while you wait for the dizziness to pass, he knows each second will make him later to the arena but he's not going to rush you when you're struggling just to stand without fainting.

"Alright, let me get your stuff and then we'll take it one step at a time, baby, okay?"

"O..okay...one step...at a time." He tries his best not to let go of you completely as he bundles your work bag onto his shoulder. Quinn is as quick as he can be with it, before pulling you under his arm and helping you inch step by step towards the car.

It's slow going, every few steps you get a little dizzy and he waits for you to nod before he pushes you forward again. You're drained, dark circles under your eyes and skin losing some of its usual colour by the time you reach the car.

Quinn had purposefully pulled up the car with the passenger side facing you and you're thankful not to have to walk around the car as you brace yourself against the door for a moment. Quinn helps ease you into the seat, reaching over to put your seatbelt on for you and adjust the headrest so you can lean back. It eases some of the weight in your chest.

"Nearly home, okay, baby?"

You just nod, exhausted as his hands cup your cheeks tenderly, spreading a soft sort of affection through your already aching chest. He's so gentle as he looks down at you, fingers rubbing circles in your cheeks, but he looks so worried and you feel so guilty because he shouldn't have to be that worried.

"You've been so brave, baby, you're so brave...soon you'll be in bed and you can watch the game and sleep, okay?" He knows you'll want to watch the game if you're sat at home, mostly because you watch every game he plays even if its on catch up, but also because he knows it'll reassure you that he made it back in time.

You nod again, blinking up at him so tired that he can't help but frown.

"Atta, girl. My brave girl." The kiss Quinn presses to your forehead is short and sweet, not lingering but filling you with warmth and lightness even as he closes the door on you and gets into the driver's side.

You miss his comforting touch and as if he knows this, his hand reaches for your thigh at any given opportunity when it isn't in use to drive. The stability of it, the comfort of just having him there is so welcome and helps you to relax back into the seat as he drives.

It's just as hard work getting you into the apartment, thankful as ever that the elevator actually works, but once you're in, Quinn feels ten times lighter.

"Right, lets get you comfy, baby...you want one of my jerseys or a hoodie?"

"Jersey...the....the black one, please."

"Okay, sit down, there ya go, good girl.." He watches you the entire time from the corner of his eye, scared you'll lean too far forward from how you're hunched over on the edge of the bed. He tries to make the entire thing quick, reaching for his black jersey, the extra big one that he bought home because you liked how it dwarfed you and even dwarfed him.

"Arms up, baby..." He helps you out of your work blouse and your bra, slipping the jersey over the top quickly to avoid the shivers you start shaking with.

The worst part is getting you to your feet to get your bottoms off. Quinn helps you rise to your feet before kneeling in front of you, dragging your hands to his shoulders for support as he helps you inch out of the remainder of your work clothes. Your fingers grip his shoulders so tight that he's certain you might leave bruises but he doesn't really care, just happy to get you comfy and help you into bed.

You're bundled under as many blankets as he can find, plus the heated blanket you got at Christmas. A big jug of water beside the bed, snacks piled high because he is not having you try to go all the way to kitchen without supervision right now.

"You want the game set to go on?"

"Y...yes, please...wanna watch you play." He turns the television on, setting it to the NHL game set to go live in less than an hour now and he knows he's going to miss warm ups at this point. Tocc's probably blowing up his phone and he knows he's cutting it fine...but you look so small bundled up in bed and he actually hates the idea of leaving you alone. He hates not having his family near all the time as a general rule, but in that moment he hates it so much more. If his mum or dad had been near he could have asked Ellen or Jim to check in on you, instead you were going to be all alone and he hated it.

"I'll score for you, yeah? You can watch me score and maybe we'll win and then I'll come and make us dinner. That sound good, baby?"

"Perfect..." Quinn smooths your hair back from your face, tucking a strand behind your ear even as he uses it as an excuse to feel your temperature. Not unreasonably warm which reassures him a little that you're at least not feverish.

He just keeps sitting there next to you, stroking your hair and caressing your cheek to the point that as much as you're loathe to get him to stop and to leave, you have to remind him he can't stay here. He has a game he's already running late to.

"You...you have to go, Quinn...I'll be okay..."

"If you're not, you'll phone 911, right?" He smooths your hair back again, in truth he really doesn't want to leave you there like that. Even as you seem to be breathing a little better now you're lying down. He considers just not going, if they lose they lose...but he knows he can't. He's captain, he promised he'd be back...and you'd be unhappy with him. He might be your boyfriend but the Canucks were your team and you'd likely make him sleep on the couch for a week.

"I promise...just go win for me?"

"Okay, sweet girl." He presses a last lingering kiss to your forehead, before getting up to leave. But, he still lingers in the doorway for a moment until you push him to go.

Once he's out of the apartment he's rushing. Barely any time and honestly when he finally gets back to the arena and gets his skates on he's surprised he's just in time to go out on the ice for the anthem...cold, not warmed up in the slightest, not ready at all to play a game, but willing to.

Tocc stops him as he's passing the bench to get to the ice, "Cutting it fine, Hughes!" despite the gruff tone, Quinn can tell that Tocc is just relieved that Quinn's back in time. As are the guys who all look at him with varying shades of relief as if they'd been freaking out the entire time. Which they probably had.

"Told you I'd be back." Quinn says it with such confidence, even though inside he knows he nearly missed the entire game. To be honest if you hadn't forced him out the apartment then he'd probably have been late at best.

"How is she?" Tocc's voice is soft, concerned and Quinn appreciates it. He appreciates that as a coach Tocc doesn't just care about how much they cost or how well they play, he cares about them and their families too...and you're included in that, ring or not.

"Not good...but safe at home."

"You need practice off tomorrow?"

"Please, I need to get her to the doctors..."

"Done. Now go help us win the game." Tocc gives him a clap on the shoulder before pushing him out onto the ice and just like that Quinn slips into captain mode.

Locked in like he always is even if his legs don't feel as loose and his stick feels a little less familiar in his hands. Knowing you're home safe helps, he can put the thought of you to the back of his mind, knowing you're safe in the apartment, comfortable and surrounded by everything you need.

You find it hard to focus on the game, but force yourself to, determined to watch Quinn play and to see the goal he intends to score for you. Maybe it's silly, there's no guarantee he'll actually score, but you can tell from the moment he's on the ice that it's one of the few things on his mind. Shot after shot after shot, a determined series of attempts that remind you how important you are to him even as you lie wheezing in bed, eating as much chocolate as Quinn put out for you.

It's part way through the first period with one goal already to Vancouver thanks to Petey that the issue of Quinn's disappearance pre-game is raised.

"Quinn Hughes was nearly late to the game today, the captain missed warm ups but that's certainly not stopping him now!" Shortie's voice rings through the room, a familiar cadence that makes you feel comforted.

"No, it's not, Shortie, do we know why Hughes was late?" Dave responds and for a moment you can't quite comprehend that you've managed to cause this much of a ruckus.

"It hasn't been confirmed and you know I'm not much of a gossip..." You have a little giggle a Shortie even as you are the topic of conversation because it's not really much in the way of gossip and it's so silly.

"But?"

"Apparently he had a family emergency, his girlfriend is very unwell and he dropped everything to go get her."

"Well, that's just.."

"Romantic? Sweet?"

"I was going to say so unlike the Quinn Hughes we used to know, the one who only thought about hockey." You think back to Quinn when you first met, how everything had been hockey, hockey, hockey. You hadn't minded, your own love of the sport meant that you could handle it. But, it's true...Quinn had been rethinking his priorities ever since you started dating, where he might have prioritised hockey once, he'd started to prioritise you. You're not entirely sure at what point you became that important in his life, but it made you feel warm and fuzzy all over.

"I think it's a good thing, that's a sign of growth, just like Hughes' shot!" Shortie cuts himself off as you watch the camera pan to Quinn, following his agile movements across the ice as he skips past the other team's players as if it's as easy as breathing, "He's in past the defence, he lines up the shot and an unassisted goal for Quinn Hughes! Vancouver goal!"

You smile wide as you watch Quinn grin, celebrating with his team in a series of hugs before he finds a camera. There's a moment where you know he's grinning at you, for you, a cheeky little wink sent through the screen as if to say 'told you I'd score for you'.

"I suspect that one was for the girlfriend, Shortie."

You watch the entire game, trying not to nod off to sleep between periods. While you can't cheer and you certainly don't have the energy to celebrate too hard, every Canuck goal makes you feel lighter and brings a smile to your face.

The end result of a 5-2 win to the Canucks makes it easy for you to drift off as the game ends and the waiting for Quinn begins.

He's running off a high when the game ends, even more so when Boeser offers to take over press duties so Quinn can get back to you quickly.

The apartment is quiet when he comes in, "Baby?" not a sound comes back in response and he's careful to move quietly through the apartment to the bedroom doorway.

You're fast asleep, breathing heavy but nowhere near as bad as earlier in the day, you're surrounded by chocolate wrappers and he's quiet as he picks them all up and puts them in a bin, replacing them with the puck he scored with on your bedside table.

He tiptoes back to the kitchen quietly pottering around to make some dinner for you while you're still asleep, nothing fancy but protein, carbs and veg. The sort of thing that's definitely boring but also definitely what your body needs right now.

"Baby, time to wake up...I've made you dinner." He's gentle when he wakes you, soft fingers down your cheek as you stir awake, blinking up at him bleary eyed. Quinn helps you sit upright, the tray of food settling neatly in your lap.

"Where's...where's yours?"

"On the table, you want me to eat in here with you, sweetheart?"

He's moving before you finish nodding, grabbing another tray and his plate before joining you on the bed. He spends most of his dinner watching you eat, making sure you're not leaving large amounts and that you're okay.

He's happy about the win, happy about the score, but he's mostly just happy to be back with you and knowing that you're eating and you're okay, if not well.

Quinn's quick to tidy up your trays and even quicker to get back to you and get into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, sliding under the covers with you and pulling you into his arms.

Your cheek rests against his chest, the steady thump of his heart a soothing sound that helps some of the anxiety about being off work ease off. Quinn's fingers caress circles and weird shapes across your arm and shoulder as he tucks you tight against him, legs twined together. Every so often he presses a kiss to your forehead, your cheek, the top of your hair, as if reassuring himself that you're okay and he's got you.

"You scored..." You mumble into his t-shirt, a small smile working it's way to your lips as his hand moves up to run through your hair, stopping at your scalp every now and then to scratch lightly until you feel like purring even if that purr is more of a wheezy rumble.

"Mmm, for you, baby." Quinn smiles down at you, another kiss pressed to your cheek.

"T...the wink?" His smile weakens slightly at your still stumbling breathlessness and the wheeze and crackle that accompany it.

"Just for you, sweet girl."

"I'm...I'm proud of you, y'know?" You smile up at him so sweetly that he can't help but feel certain in his choices today. Yeah, nearly missing a game was rough, and maybe the press are going to be dicks about it and maybe he would have felt guilty if he'd missed the game or they'd lost...but he knows he'd skip a million games if it meant you were being looked after, were safe.

"I know...and tomorrow you're going to show me how proud you are by letting me take you to the doctors again."

"Ugh..." You groan, hiding your face into his chest like that will stop him from dragging you to the doctors. Your stubbornness normally cute but in this moment less so.

Quinn cups the back of your head until your looking up at him, green eyes meeting yours with a pleading stare that makes your resolve tremble and shudder. "Please? I'm worried about you, baby...I was really scared when I got that text from you."

"Yeah?" You hate that you worried him...it's that worry that makes you concede that maybe you need to go back to the doctors and maybe as much as you hate it, you'll do it, for Quinn.

"Yeah. I can replace hockey, I can play another game if I miss one. But, I can't replace you. Let me take you to the doctors."

There's a beat of silence as he pleads with you, eyes soft, worried, gentle, thumb stroking soothingly across the base of your neck and you can't really deny him this. Not when you know you'd feel exactly the same if the roles were reversed, not when he nearly missed a game for you today and went in completely cold turkey to win it.

"Okay...as...as long as you keep cuddling me."

"I think I can do that, baby." You curl back into his arms like the spot was carved just for you and in that moment Quinn Hughes knows that you have fully hit the top of his priority list, no ands, ifs, buts or maybes. You could ask him to quit hockey tomorrow and he'd do it. He'd do anything for you and that should be terrifying, but it's not because he knows you'd never ask too much of him. If anything you ask too little.

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

a kiss between clothes

pairing: daddy!chan x princess reader

genre: fluff?

warnings: daddy / princess dynamics, soo many kisses, pet names, reader is called baby- princess- little one, reader is pretty “baby” in this one. this is your warning! if you don’t like this content, if you don’t like reader being babied, or acting like a baby, then pls just skip! i don’t need your negativity.

an: tomorrow is my birthday and ive had this idea in my drafts for a while. i’m having some pretty big feelings when it comes to my birthday this year, and i’m scared to post this but.. let’s be brave.

masterlist

“i know baby..” he frowned. “i don’t want to go but i have to. this is a really important schedule and i can’t miss it.”

you sat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed, bottom lip jutting out, staring at the floor.

“are you mad at daddy?” he asked, opening the closet door. he had just finished with his shower. he was wrapped in a towel, his hair freshly washed and dried, but he left it natural, which you liked.

“your hair is fluffy.” you giggled. the tips of his ears went hot.

“uh.. yeah.” he smiled, running his fingers through his curls. “they’re gonna do stuff to it at the shoot anyways.”

he grabbed a hanger and pulled it out, holding it up for your approval. it was a black hoodie with a teddy bear on the front. you smiled and nodded. “i like that one.”

he walked over and laid the hoodie on the bed next to you. “i thought you might.” he smiled, before walking back to the closet to grab some pants. some plain black jeans would do, though you knew he preferred sweats. he grabbed a black t shirt, some boxers, and some socks from one of his drawers and brought everything over to the bed, tossing it down next to you.

“you never answered my question.” he said, reaching for the boxers.

you still had your arms crossed, still pouting. you looked up at him, trying your hardest to put on your best angry face. but he just thought you were cute.

“are you mad at daddy?” he dropped his towel around his ankles. “for leaving you alone today?” he gracefully stepped into his boxers and pulled them up, but your face was already flushed. he leaned down, chuckling, and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.

“it’s just..” you started, trying to find the words. “today is special..” you frowned again, feeling truly sad that he was leaving you today. but you understood why. he had important schedules. the group was important. you never wanted to stand in the way of that.

he grabbed his jeans, stepping into them and pulling them up, buttoning them and securing the zipper. “i know baby..” he sounded sad. “i wish it was on any other day. but i have no control over it.” he leaned down again, placing another gentle kiss on your pouty lips. you knew what he was doing. he always did this when you were upset about him leaving. he would shower you with love, kissing you between each piece of clothing until he was fully dressed. he really hated leaving you alone.

“but it shouldn’t take all day.” he said, reaching for his shirt. “daddy will only be gone for a few hours.”

you looked at him, you knew he was lying.

he chuckled. “okay.. maybe like 5 or 6 hours.”

you made a noise of disappointment, going back to pouting.

“i know it’s your special day, princess. today is all about you and im sorry i have to leave.” you watched his muscles flex as he pulled his shirt over his head.

he looked down at you, smiling a sad smile. “you’re so pretty baby.” he brought his plush lips to yours. “daddy’s sorry.” he mumbled against them.

“i’m not mad..” you said, finally answering his question. “i know it’s important that you go. i’m just.. sad i guess.”

he pulled the teddy bear hoodie over his head, straightening it at his hips. “my poor baby..” he cooed, crouching down in front of you. he cupped your face in his palms. “i promise, when i get home, we will celebrate your birthday. okay, little one?” he quickly kissed your lips. “we’ll cuddle..” he quickly kissed your left cheek. “we’ll watch a movie..” he kissed your right cheek. “i was thinking.. despicable me. but we can watch whatever you want, princess.” he kissed the tip of your nose.

“can we watch Howl’s?” you asked, hopeful.

“of course we can.” he squished your cheeks in his hands, causing your face to scrunch up. “i’ll even do my Calcifer impression.” you giggled, grabbing at his hands to pull them away from your face.

he smiled up at you from his place on the floor, his dimple poking out, his eyes practically sparkling. “does that sound okay, princess?” he gently rubbed his thumb across your knee.

you nodded. “yeah. that sounds good, daddy.”

“thank you, baby.” he kissed your lips again. “daddy will make it up to you, i promise.” and with one more kiss to you lips, he stood.

he grabbed his socks and his favorite black beanie and headed for the door. you padded behind him in your slippered feet. he pulled his socks and shoes on and then reached for the door handle.

“i love you, baby.” he said. “i’ll be home before you know it, okay?”

you nodded, sadly. and he opened the door and then he was gone.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡

©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.

[cockettechris]

𝑭𝑬𝑬𝑫𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 － 𝑪.𝑺.

divider by: @bernardsbendystraws

Summary: Chris was well known, in the porn world that is. He didn't really care what anyone else thought he had a good job and that's all that mattered to him. It never really got brought up that often but tonight when everyone is around their friends and intoxicated, you decide to change that.

Pairing: pornstar!Chris x reader

Warnings: smut, p in v, choking, recording the boombyah, chris being hot, idk what else

A/N: this is based off of the conversation I had with @cvnntagious ps!Chris bot, please go check her stuff out🙏

The cold leather couch felt cold on your legs, goosebumps trickling your skin. The sexual topics being brought up made you uncomfortable to say the least. But why should it? You're an adult. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable with this type of stuff.

You being you, you didn't talk. Your "closed off" body language wasn't noticeable, or so you thought. You thought no one noticed until Chris himself spoke up "C'mon ma, don't tell me this is disturbin' you or somethin'." Oh god. That nickname, you fucking hated it when he called you that. Despite the wetness growing between your legs.

"No I'm alright." you said softly, though Chris didn't believe it. "I think you're full of shit, but you're sure?" he said in a soft tone that almost, almost, made you wanna go down on him. "Yeah, why? Did you ask something I didn't hear or?" he chuckled in response, "Nah, just noticed ya look tensed up or something. You're not used to these kinds of conversations?" you smiled softly, "Not really, it's not everyday I hang out with a pornstar or onlyfans star."

He smirked, "Oh so you know what I do then?" he's clearly amused by this. His gaze lowers to your lips for a split second before meeting back up to your eyes "What did ya look me up or somethin'?" you chucked, "Don't boost your ego you just popped up on Twitter." A smirk landed on his pink lips at your sassy remark, realizing you're probably not as shy as you seem. "Shoulda clicked on my profile ma, trust me you'd like it."

Your smile only grew, "No I saw, need to work on your moans though. They sound fake." he let out a scoff with a small laugh, "Yeah? How could I improve?" "I'm not showing you it's your job not mine." You both laughed, clearly enjoying the playful banter between you both. "C'mon doll you know I like getting feedback." You shook your head before speaking, "Okay well, don't be so quiet. No one likes that. Moan more, whimper more, dirty talk, I don't care just don't make it quiet." You quickly shut your mouth after that, realizing your hormones took over for a second, the wetness only growing between your legs.

He smirked at your statement, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek, "Wasn't expecting that from ya. But how do you expect me to do all of this perfectly without any practice ma? Hm?" "Yeah do it yourself pretty boy." You said as you got up to go get yourself a drink. He chuckled at how quickly you got up. "Hey can you get me 'nother Pepsi while you're out there?" You looked at him with a confused face before grabbing him another can of Pepsi anyway. He smiled as you handed him the can, eyes trailing down your body as he spoke, "Hey c'mere for a second. Needa tell ya somethin'." Hesitantly, you sat beside him. The cold leather making you shiver slightly.

"You know.." he started, "I wouldn't mind your help with practice, from what ya said earlier. 'Bout how I need to be more loud. "If I say yes will you leave me alone with this?" you said annoyed. His smirk came back at your question. "All ya gotta do is say yes ma.." "Fine." you said with a huff. Not because you didn't want it, no you wanted it. Bad. But because you knew you'd get attached after this and he'd see it as nothing more than a one night stand. He started kissing your neck softly, a soft breath leaves your lips before saying "Right here? Can we at least go to an empty bedroom or something?" He chuckled against your neck, before pulling away and taking your hand as he led you to what you hoped was his bedroom.

The first thing he did when you guys walked into the bedroom was lock the door. He didn't want anyone to see what was his, or what he wanted to be his. He turned around and faced you, slowly walking towards you. "Fucking hate how attractive you are and how much I like you." You said as you kissed him roughly. His eyes widened at the sudden kiss, but is quick to reciprocate it as his hands move to each side of your jaw. He steps forward which causes you to push back into the wall. You moaned into the kiss, which gave Chris the perfect opportunity to add his tongue to the mix.

Before you know it your clothes are scattered all over the floor along with Chris' clothes. You're pretty sure you saw Chris put your underwear in his nightstand drawer but fuck you didn't care. Not when he was pounding into you from behind at an ungodly fast pace. "Fuck ma- taking me so well." You only moaned in response, not like you could form a sentence anyway. "Chris please-" you managed to get out, "Please what? Use your words." "Need your hand-" you couldn't finish your sentence so you just took his hand and guided it to your throat. He squeezes, but not enough to hurt you but enough to make you feel good. "F–Fuck baby, just needed my hand wrapped around ya throat huh?"

"Such a good lil slut f'me." He groaned out. His free hand that was on your hip grabbed his phone, his metal bracelet making you shiver. "Wan' record ya mama. Is that okay?" You whined and nodded. He was quick to start recording, making sure he gets the perfect view of you taking him, all of him. "Chris 'm close." "Yeah? Cum all over my cock. Fuck.." All it took was Chris to hit your g-spot one more time for you to break. A white ring forming around the base of his cock. He lets go of your throat and switches his phone into his other hand, his free hand coming to rest on your hip. "I'm close, gonna cum all over your pretty ass mama." And with that he pulled out quick enough to have his hot cum spurt all over your ass.

He's quick to stop recording and upload the video to his OnlyFans and Twitter. When he's done with that he starts a bath for the both of you. Once your both done with your bath he hands you a pair of boxers and one of his shirts. He puts his boxers back on and some pajama pants. You cuddle up to his chest once you both lay down and he runs his fingers through your tangled hair. He grabs his phone and checks the video. "Wow." He says softly, you hum in confusion as he explains that the video has done better than any other one he's uploaded. "Yeah the people in the comments fucking love you ma, saying they've had a better orgasm than ever. Think that means I'm gonna have to keep you." And with that he kisses your forehead as you fall into a deep sleep.

Tags:

@cvnntagious @sturnobsessedwh0re @sturniolos-manslut19 @sturniolosluttt @mattsfavbitchhh @livy4swift @pip4444chris @christophersturnn @ariastur9z @sturniolosarethebest @sturnioq @chrislilcumslvt @conspiracy-ash @courta13 @emely9274

A/N: can you tell I got lazy towards the end LMAO. Two posts in one day who is this?? lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist!!

[kteezy997]

Beyond Business-part seven//t.c.

Warnings:yearning, sexual tension, flirting undertones, kissing, cursing

The following week leading up to the Golden Globes, Timmy took every opportunity to get close to you.

You got a paper cut, resulting in the tiniest little cut on your hand, but he insisted on being your little nurse. “Come here let me see.” he said, taking your hand to the sink to run it under some cold water. He held your hand, pretending to examine the cut. You tried to hold in a giggle while this was happening. It was hard.

He even put a bandaid on your hand. “Timmy there’s not even any blood and the bandage will be in the way when I do things.” you laughed.

“I don’t care. I have to take care of you.” he asserted. Once he got the bandaid adhered to his liking, he pressed a kiss to the barely-there wound. “All better.” he grinned.

It seemed every other time he had to stand next to you, his hand nonchalantly found its way to rest on your lower back.

There was one time when he brushed your hair off of your shoulder, and let the pads of his fingers trickle along the side of your neck, slowly, giving you shivers.

“Timothée.” you warned in that moment, but you were weak in the attempt.

“I know.” he answered. There was melancholy in his voice. But he perked back up after a moment, saying, “Hey, I got you something to wear to the Globes.” He moved quickly to his coat closet nearby.

“Oh? That’s not necessary Timmy, I’m sure I have something.” you insisted, following him.

“Shhh.” he hushed you, grabbing a garment bag off the rod in the closet. He handed it over to you, that damn grin all over his face.

“Timmy, I-I’m just an assistant.” you reluctantly took the dress from him, “I don’t need anything special.”

“You are much more than just an assistant to me. Anyway, it’s nothing crazy, but I thought the color would nice on you. Try it on and show me.”

You winced, “Ugh, this is silly. I don’t need this kind of attention.”

“Go, bathroom, now.” he demanded.

You mumbled a protest on your way to the bathroom to change.

………

You were surprised that he knew your size. The dress fit really well. It was almost as if you picked it out yourself.

Timmy was right: the color did suit you, and the length wasn’t too short or anything.

“I told you to come back out so I can see it.” he called from the other room.

You sighed. This was not something you did;parade in front of a man. But it was Timmy, so maybe it would be okay. And anyway, he wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer right now.

You exited the bathroom, feeling a little shy, being so dressed up in front him.

“Whoa.” he said, his eyes widened.

“Does it look bad? I think it’s kinda nice. I like the color and the flowers, and the sleeves.” you rambled a bit, thinking he hated the way you looked.

He cleared his throat, nodding, “Yeah, it looks perfect. You’re so beautiful.” He came over to you, looking at you up and down.

You blushed.

“Here,” he began, reaching behind your head, unclamping the claw clip that held all of your hair up, “you should wear your hair down. That will look best.”

You shook your head a bit, letting your hair loose on your shoulders. “Okay, whatever you say, boss.”

“Hm.” he grinned, “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

“Is it the dress? Maybe I should change back into my other clothes.” you joked.

Timmy shook his head, “No, no, it’s just you.” He put his hands on your hips, sliding them across your back.

Your bodies touched, your hands went to his chest.

“Can I kiss you?”

“You didn’t ask permission before.” you pointed out, referring to the night he came over to your place.

With that, his lips met yours in a brief, longing kiss. He pulled away after a moment, saying, “We should stop now, because I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself if I kiss you again.”

………

The morning of the Globes came and he texted you first thing: ‘can u spend the day with me?’

‘I can if you need me to.’ you replied.

‘please🥺’

You showered, got ready and brought your dress inside of its garment bag, and your hair and makeup stuff along to Timmy’s house.

You let yourself in with all of your things.

“Hey, you’re here.” you heard him say, and his footsteps drew near.

“Yeah. Are you by yourself? I figured Aidan and your friends would be here.”

“Nope, just me and you for a while.” he said, taking your makeup bag from you.

“Oh, why is that?” you asked, following him further inside.

He helped you set your things down on the table, turning to you, he said, “Stop it, you know why.”

“Your girlfriend could have kept you company.”

“You are more my girlfriend than she is.” he took your hand, looking down at it, slowly running his thumb over your fingers.

“Don’t get used to saying things like that out loud.”

“Fuck,” he breathed out, grabbing you, “I just want you.” he placed you against the wall.

You moaned softly as you felt his body on yours and his lips met your neck.

His hands swept up your thighs, up your hips to rest there. He slid his palms toward your lower back, then lower.

You gasped as you felt him give your ass a squeeze.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Shit, the guys are early.” Timmy cursed.

January 19, 2025

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive @timhalchala

[electricneonvalkyrie]

"There's no way Abby looks like this. Totally unrealistic."

Beyond the functional aspect of her survival training, her daily life is a rigorous workout that mimics a lot of what you’d see in strength training. Combine intense physical activity with a nutritious diet and Abby’s discipline (and trauma responses)—voila. You’ve got yourself one badass military woman.

We're not even considering her genetics, which can pack a serious punch, too.

You can find nearly any type of sustainable food source at the stadium—fish, meat, cheese, eggs, milk, beans, rice, fruits, vegetables, you name it. She has access to calorie dense, protein-rich foods every day. And that's before taking into account the balanced, resourceful meals the cooks could create to maximize the food supply using various recipes.

I'd bore you with the approximate specifics of Abby’s dietary needs for muscle maintenance, but it’s way more fun to explore the game's world instead.

I highly recommend it, even. There’s so much to take in.

Yeah, it's kinda subtle in places, but many parts are really in your face.

An example of this? Isaac doesn't sweat losing a hatchery to the Seraphites. He’s confident the wild salmon they’re fishing will keep them covered. You just can't make that call when your soldiers are starving, in my opinion.

I don't want to randomly assume that most men who hate Abby are super salty about women who are more muscular than them, but... based on some of the reviews and gameplay reactions, holy guacamole.

"It's not about her being muscular!" Yeah, okay.

(Proceeds to mock her physical appearance forever.)

The fragile male ego is poppin', man.

Abby thinks dudes like this need to stop skipping leg day and grow a pair. 😏

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

"Putting your hand over your heart isn't a part of a Nazi salute!"

Not the original salute no, but it is part of the salute being used by Neo Nazis. So here's a link to a video comparing them, showing his gesture was identical to a Neo Nazi salute.

https://www.reddit.com/r/france/s/2bdn5cuvf6

"Even the ADL said it wasn't a Nazi salute!"

The ADL can be wrong just like any other group of people can. You people hate their stance on hate speech, so why are you magically in agreement with them just because they support your worldview?

"It was so bad that it couldn't have been a real salute, Hitler would have killed him for mocking him!"

Bad salutes are still salutes, just as bad insurrections are still insurrections.

"He was symbolically throwing his heart to the crowd!"

Here he is doing it a second time while facing away from the crowd.

"He said his heart went out to the crowd!"

Yeah so he could have some deniability for idiots like you to cling to and defend him with.

"Kalama did the same gesture!"

She waved and pointed. You're just blind. There's something wrong with you if you can't distinguish a wave from an actual Nazi salute. Here's them being conpared side by side.

https://x.com/tify330/status/1881512417387040998

The sad part Is, if you saw this back in 2012, your immediate thought would have been "Oh my god Elon Musk did a nazi salute!", but Trump has so successfully brainwashed you, conditioned you, and groomed you, that his richest and most vocal supporter can preform a blatant Nazi salute, and you'll deny the obvious evidence before you to defend him, ignoring everything before your eyes and ears, because you've been made incapable of acknowledging the evilness, or the nature, of your cult.

It should have been obvious when he showed up to the Madison Square Garden rally in a custom black MAGA hat that used a typeface that was associated with the Hitler and the Nazis, the font the Nazis regularly used as a sign of nationalism that Hitler chose as the as the font for the cover of his autobiography.

https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/elon-musks-maga-cap-text-has-eerie-resemblance-with-hitlers-nazi-font-6903216/amp/1](https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/elon-musks-maga-cap-text-has-eerie-resemblance-with-hitlers-nazi-font-6903216/amp/1

You guys are REALLY bad at taking hints due to your programing.

"Trump, who is nothing like a nazi and never talks about nazis or white supremacists except to disavow them, brainwashed you into thinking Elon Musk isn't a nazi" sure is an interesting take.

Anyway you're putting a lot of words into my mouth and the ones you're quoting that are actually mine explain pretty well why what Elon did isn't a nazi salute, so I'm not going point by point and addressing your nonsense (especially the "nazi font" shit. Jesus do you even hear yourself?)

What I am going to address?

"Here he is doing it a second time while facing away from the crowd"

There were people behind the stage behind him. I don't know if you can see them during Elon's full speech but here's the same setup from when Trump was at the arena

You can clearly see the white star bunting that's behind Elon in the clips of him doing the "salute". The stage is in the center of the arena with people all around.

I'll also explain why I trust the ADL here, again, because apparently you either didn't see it or, more likely, your leftist brain selectively edits everything that doesn't conform to your warped world view.

The ADL is a partisan left wing group that constantly calls conservatives, but especially Trump and his allies, nazis, racists, white supremacists, anti-Semites, and every other ist and phobe under the sun. They rarely let a chance to lie about the right go by. The fact that a group like that is saying "that wasn't a nazi salute" means a lot, because they're going against the talking points of their own ideology in favor of a person they hate. When a group, even a partisan hack group like the ADL, goes against their interests and the interests of their allies in favor of a person or a group they normally can't stand, that gives their words a lot of extra weight.

She waved and pointed. You're just blind. There's something wrong with you if you can't distinguish a wave from an actual Nazi salute.

Yes. That's the point. She waved and pointed. Elon symbolically "threw his heart" to the crowd. Neither were nazi salutes. Both could made to look like one out of context. The media only cared about doing it with Elon.

I don't expect any of this to get through to you, because you still think J6 was an iNsUrReCtIoN. But maybe one day, after you grow out of this weird leftist phase, you'll look back and remember this and feel as silly as you should.

[numberonetacostan]

TACO'S TIRADE ANALYSIS

OKAY! It is time for the requested analysis of Taco’s Tirade. This is my first time doing a big analysis of like, anything, so I’m very sorry if this is the worst take on the song of all time or if everything I’m saying is obvious!! Can anyone tell i'm nervous about posting this lol. I have a lot of thoughts about Taco and her Tirade. I love it so much. Feel free to imagine me gesturing wildly with tears in my eyes as you read this. We’ll go in sections based on the lyrics and visuals :) Lyrics will be inside brackets, then commentary will be below! Please enjoy!! <3

Tw: slight discussion of suicidal ideation

[Any moment now...

Are you sure this is what you want?

(Scoff) Oh spare me your spin, you tablet tabloid. If you want to psychoanalyze someone, don't look at me.]

Alright, so we immediately see Taco still in a very emotional state. Mepad asking if she’s sure she wants to interfere with the challenge immediately provokes her, and starts her off on her entire tirade. Because he asked if she was sure. She immediately insults him and moves to change the subject and get his attention off of herself and her own mental well-being. She’s very in-denial of her own emotions and emotional pain in this song, as we’ll see going forward, and remains quite defensive for a lot of the song.

[Look at them! It's so pathetic,

How they run to fetch their sticks.

Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic,

At least I know other tricks!]

We start here with her, as I stated, changing the subject and shifting the view onto the contestants figuratively and somewhat literally, as they’re all seen picking up the sticks for the challenge, although she still remains the main focus of the shot. We move to her dancing around Mepad, who takes up the center of the shot, but Taco is still the focus here!! She’s moved from deflecting conversation to the contestants to, in a way, defending herself, despite Mepad not having insinuated anything yet. Taco is calling herself polemic and unsympathetic here, not only because she thinks that of herself, what with her abysmal self-esteem that we see more of later in the song, but because she thinks that’s what Mepad thinks of her. Not only do her only other two friends ever hate her (I wouldn’t go that far for Mic, but that’s definitely what Taco thinks), but the rest of the season 1 cast don’t seem to think too highly of her either, yeah? Mephone certainly isn’t happy to see her soon after the song ends, and season 2 contestants like Mic and Suitcase have been shown to be wary of her before they’ve even met her. (She doesn’t know about the season 3 cast so they don’t really matter here.) The point being, Mepad is Mephone’s right hand (leg?) man, and Taco doesn’t know about their argument, so she’s pretty reasonably assuming that Mepad dislikes her just as much as everyone else does. So, she’s saying what she thinks he’s thinking about her before he can!! Forgive me for not knowing the technical name for it, but this is an actual way of deflecting criticism!! I’ll use an example. Say you made a drawing of a person, a little stick guy, but the proportions are off. One of their legs are way bigger than another, but you still want to post it anyway. To keep people from telling you that one leg is bigger than another, you might say “here’s my stick dude!! One leg is bigger than another but I’m too lazy to fix it.” By stating the potential criticism before anyone else can, it makes others MUCH less likely to comment on it themselves!! And that’s what I believe Taco is doing here!!! I hope I explained that well enough. She then goes on defending herself, self-justifying by saying she at least “knows other tricks.” I read this as her doing things outside the game, and it’s limits. That could be her acknowledging how she doesn’t play by the rules of the competition like they do, but I see it as a note of the hypocrisy/lying to herself we see from Taco in the song. And!! In the transition to the next verse, she has her eyes closed!! Which happens everytime we travel in and out of that purple-y space! We are seeing Taco’s inner image here people!!!!!

[Look at me and all you'll see is the debris of some defective outcast,

A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) little iconoclast,]

Here we have Taco insulting herself more! Yay! She’s getting more emotional as we get into the song, and she becomes less and less able to keep her usually sturdy walls up. She’s just lost Mic, and as I’ll go over later in the analysis, is expecting she will be permanently dead relatively soon. Of course she’s having a lot of trouble keeping it together! You know how sometimes, if you’re trying not to cry and someone asks if you’re okay, it makes you burst into tears? It’s like that! Mepad asked if she was sure, and the dam began to break. So, the descriptors she uses tell us a lot about her view of herself!!! Debris. Broken remains of what was. That’s pretty accurate to how Taco is feeling right now. She’s drowning in debris, really! The debris of her old, broken friendships, the debris of her master plan to win season 1, and it’s to the point where she sees herself as broken and incomplete as well. She believes she’s broken!!! And that leads us right into her calling herself defective. Imperfect or faulty. She’s very separated from everyone else, yeah? Everyone else (to her knowledge) lives in the hotel. Everyone else is part of the group. Everyone else has people who care about them. Everyone else happily plays by the rules of the game. After everything, compared to everyone else? No wonder she sees herself as incapable of changing, she believes there’s something just, deeply wrong with her as a being. If everyone else can do this and have this, she has to be the problem. And almost right after she started putting forth that effort to get Mic to trust her, focusing on someone other than herself, Mic left her. Rightfully so, but please it is so important to think of it from Taco’s perspective rather than Mic’s in this analysis. Taco was trying to give Mic what she thought she wanted (recognition), trying to be a good friend, and it immediately lost her the most important person in her life. She’s been watching for years, she sees everyone else making strong connections, but she can’t do it when she tries. And before that, it’s her plan failing. Like Brian said in a stream, it was inconceivable to her that her plan would fail. Yet it did. And after a long enough time alone out in the woods, there isn’t anyone left to blame for that but herself. She was the reason her plan had failed, and she’d lost everything. Of course she’d see herself as defective. Outcast is pretty obvious, because she checks all of those boxes. Lives hidden, alone, and very much away from everyone else. She is very very much not part of the group anymore. 

Frenetic!! Fast, wild, and uncontrolled. Frankly, something you’d be more likely to describe Taco’s season 1 persona with, yeah? It’s quite different from how Taco usually tries to present herself, being cunning and calculating around others. But of course, the further we get into the song, the more honest Taco unintentionally can get about how she sees herself. She had her whole plan for season 1 down, but it was in the end where she lost control over the situation in which she lost control of herself in which she lost everything. It was in the ship, where something she didn’t and realistically couldn’t have planned for happens that she once again lost control of the situation and thus control of herself, and used violence despite Mic’s plea not to, in which she lost everything again. Of course she’d see herself as wild and uncontrollable, because moments in which she was are standout moments of her life! Not to mention again, how she’s the contestant who tried to steal the prize and cheated in season 2. For better or for worse, she’s much less controlled by the rules of the game than the other contestants. Just another thing that separates her from the group, yeah? Antithetic!!!! In direct opposition to something. And the following word as well, iconoclast, an attacker of a beloved institution or beliefs. She’s against the game that everyone else plays again and again, something that really matters a lot to them, but we see in the show and especially in the finale that the game isn’t good for them. As much as it’s not always for quite the right reason and exactly how she ends up going about it, she has a strong point about the game itself and what it can do to all of them. But she still sees herself as the villain. Despite her genuine, and correct, belief that ending the game will make things better for everyone, she still sees herself as the villain!! And it’s an image of herself that she’s had for a long time, and that she can’t shake after everything, because she doesn’t believe she can be anything else. And I did not forget how she mentions herself as being “poetic!” Whether that’s her believing in “karmic justice” or whatever and that she got what was coming with her, or believing her role as a season 1 finalist who’s come back out of the shadows to try and end season 2, it is one of the few neutral adjectives she uses for herself in the song. It might even be her previous popularity and persona she’s referencing here, that antitheticism and iconoclasm being how she went from a silly, well-loved character to a serious, well. She’s still loved out of canon but none of the people she knows like her at all. She’s the antithesis of what she used to be, and her coming out of the act destroyed the beloved image of who she had pretended to be.

As for the visuals here, how the scene fades back into her and Mepad is so important! She falls off of a cliff into darkness!! A very clear visual representation of how she sees things having gone. After her fight over the suitcase with OJ in the s1 finale, she kept falling and falling and falling, deeper down into the dark hole she’s dug herself, until she’s landed right where she is as she’s singing. Not only that, but this visual is another excellent representation of how she sees things as over for her. How she sees herself as incapable of changing, starting over, or getting better at all. Think about the cliff we know of on the island. Now think about who actually fell off that cliff at the end of season 1. Think about what happened to them. They all DIED!!! And she is picturing herself falling off this cliff!! I doubt this was intended to be a sign of suicidal ideation for her, since ii does have a younger target demographic (ex. Justy said in a stream that OJ and Paper sleeping in the same bed would be a bit too mature), but it can definitely be read that way. Seeing herself as “dead” in a way revolves around that disbelief in self-improvement she has, she thinks it’s too late for her in the same way it’s too late to save someone who’s died!!! And if anyone is questioning whether the scene is just a visual effect or if it’s definitely Taco’s inner picture-y thing, please note her closed eyes during the transition from her falling from the cliff to standing with Mepad!! She is picturing these visuals as she sings!!

[But I won't live in the past.

(Spoken) I almost won this game once, you know. But!]

So we all agree that Taco is totally living in the past, right? She’s saying she’s moved on, she’s telling Mepad and herself that the past doesn’t matter and that she doesn’t care about it, and then immediately she mentions how she almost won before. She has not healed at all, and is not over a single thing that happened!!! She is doing so awful I love her <3. She longs for everything she’s lost constantly, because she’s lost everything!!!!!

[History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory,

So reality is changed in the edit when they spin the story,]

So!!! Interestingly enough, I think that these lines are quite a bit about the disparities between OJ and Taco!! So, Taco had a whole strategy going into season 1 that got her into the finals, and had it not been for Bow, she would have won! She’d planned meticulously, and in the s1 finale is shown to have great physical capabilities, at least to the point to which she was able to get way ahead of OJ. And, while this may be by great bias towards Taco speaking at least in part, OJ… did not go to such lengths. Don’t get me wrong though, this is definitely a thing. It’s brought up in the show that he wasn’t a huge player in the game! Multiple times!!! S1E15 “The Tile Divide,” after OJ wins immunity with help from Paper Mephone4 says “OJ wins! Wow, that hasn’t happened for a while.” And in S1EP16 “The Penultimate Poll,” Pickle says “-even though [OJ] barely actually won any challenges.” Yet after all is said and done, Taco is outcasted, has nothing, and is disliked by pretty much everyone, and OJ is hailed as the “King of Inanimate Insanity”, is rich, and becomes the de facto group leader with his hotel. The way the narrative has been spun does certainly glorify OJ beyond his actual performance in the competition. And with OJ having his massive ego problems, I don’t doubt that he definitely let that get to his head and contributed to that narrative himself. 

And in this shot we have Taco looking down at the hotel from the forest, the same way she’s looking down on everyone participating in the game and how she’s been watching Mic (and presumably Pickle) from the outside. Only now, she’s even further away from them. 

[And we choose, to feel this pain,]

Taco denying her emotions again!!!! She likes to be in control, and she can not control her feelings nor keep pushing them down as she has been, so she’s onto deny deny deny!! She is in a lot of pain, and she knows it, so she deflects by saying she’s choosing to feel the pain of her losses. She’s keeping up her act, her defense, by desperately holding on and pretending she has control over these feelings!! I’m certain she’s tried to control them!! To justify herself, replace loneliness with anger, but it hasn’t worked!!! And her defensiveness is reflected in the visuals as well, her putting her hand up to keep a distance between her and Mepad, her still stubbornly keeping up those walls and forcing him away as he looks concerned for her. 

[And we lose, more than we gain…]

OH BOY TIME TO LOSE MORE THAN WE GAIN. I use this phrase daily. I'm serious. A pretty obvious reference to Mic having said she gained nothing, and also an acknowledgement that their partnership truly meant something to Taco and is still greatly affecting her. Which is obvious to the audience, but not only is Mepad learning things about Taco and her issues through the song, but we really see Taco starting to fall apart, accidentally implying the feelings that she’s so desperate to keep down!! She’s like a trauma volcano <3. Anyways, Taco had gained a lot when she’d met Mic, even if it took her quite some time to realise, and by the time she did she’d lost it all, again. AS FOR THE VISUALS we once again move into Taco’s head!! The transitions here for the beginning and end of this short sequence have her with her eyes closed!! She’s walking, and hard stops when she sees Pickle and the time travel portal. You see her little feet slide to a stop on her heels! She leans away from him, leans towards him just a tad, and immediately turns and walks away, only to see Mic. She hard stops when she sees Mic too, though it’s less extreme than it was for Pickle. And when she does this, she reaches a hand out towards Mic. It’s for a few reasons I think. Holding it out to try and keep that hurt away, protect her from her thoughts of missing Mic and how much she must hate her, fully reaching out because she misses Mic dearly and that pain is so fresh, reaching out to the person she’s been so close to, closer than anyone before. Another part of it, I think, is how her conflicts with both Pickle and Mic went. With Pickle, Taco was the one who insulted him, claimed they were never friends, and cut things off. Thus, she hard stops when she sees him, only leans a bit closer to him, before turning around and walking away. With Mic, Taco was the one who was left this time. Mic cut things off with her. So she’s left reaching out to Mic, as Mic’s image leaves the screen, and Taco collapses onto her knees where she is. Taco’s left on the ground, squeezing her eyes closed and clutching her head as the darkness in the background, the darkness in Taco’s head closes in on her, until she closes her eyes and jumps straight back into her villain act, the song speeding up with her as she keeps trying to get away from all of her feelings!!! My queen with awful coping skills <3.

[But I will break this cycle,

Of mistakes, unlike all,

Of these snakes whom I call to condemn,]

So! We see Taco hard cutting from her guilt and sadness, straight into her evil plan. Right back into her villain front as she realises she’s begun to open up and get emotional!!! So she’s explaining her plan to Mepad, and projects her own self-hatred and experiences very hard onto the contestants. She’s upset about what happened between her and Mic and sees the game as at fault for what happened as she’s trying to justify things to herself, and push down the guilt she feels about their split. Heck, I’d say she’s probably blaming the game for what happened between her and Pickle right now, even if that one is more on her. And she sees the final four as complacent in what the game does, with them all continuing even though none of them are even enjoying themselves anymore. Most of them haven’t been enjoying themselves for a while now, but they still stay in line and play, as they’re programmed to. This is a bit off track, but it’s important to keep in mind that at this point, Taco has been acting more outside of her programming for longer than any of the other contestants. She was never in whatever sort of waiting-mode they end up in inside the hotel, and she’s cared less and less about the rules of the game as time has gone on. Her plot in the first season was done fully inside the rules of the game, but we see her having broken out of those constraints in season 2, with her encouraging Mic to straight up attack other contestants, which is implied by Taco to be against the rules. And she keeps interfering against those same rules of the competition. Like Marsh breaking the rules by leaving the show’s parameters, Taco explicitly goes against what is meant to happen in the game. And here she is at the peak of that, having gone from breaking the rules of the game to wanting to break the game, the cycle of mistakes, entirely. Her calling the remaining contestants “snakes” of all things specifically is interesting as well, since I’m sure plenty of the season 1 cast would use that to describe Taco. Part of it is her projecting, but another part of it is her actually seeing her own mistakes in the remaining contestants. Keeping secrets from each other (Knife), never properly talking out interpersonal issues (Suitcase & Baseball), and plain loneliness (Lightbulb). And she’s condemning them for their complacency in all of it, for their actions, most certainly in part with her efforts to ignore her own feelings and as well to call out how the game changes people and makes them act. 

[If I can't win the prize,

I'll play this last reprisal,

Just to bring their lies all to an end.

-Ack!]

The first line here is more of Taco playing up her villain act. She mentions later on in the episode, while she’s being more honest since it’s surrounding Mic territory, to the final four that she doesn’t care about the money anymore. And I really believe she doesn’t! She’s broken out of that programming after having connected with Mic. She was one of the contestants, if not the contestant, made to be most dedicated to getting that money, so of course she mentions it as she’s still desperately keeping up her front!!! But she says in the very next line that this is her “last reprisal,” she clearly doesn’t intend to interfere or interact with the game again, much less try to swoop in and steal the million. And the last reprisal line is very important!!!! Notice how in the visuals, Taco lets herself fall out of a tree as she says this and upon landing she’s hurt by her injury. There is symbolism here guys!!!!!!! She is letting herself fall here. In her eyes, she doesn’t have anything left to fight for anymore. She’s lost the people important to her, she’s lost any goals she’d had driving her forward, and she hates herself!! She knows she’s injured, and that her injury could very well be lethal, as we see later in the episode, but she’s doing nothing to minimize the risk to herself. She’s not going to sit away and let herself feel and process, she’s going to burn the game down and die with it!!!! This, my friends, is called passive suicidal ideation and self-destructive behavior!!!!! And her facade starts to falter again and she mentions bringing their lies to an end!! Because she is lying to herself, and she herself is not ready to stop holding on to her lies, either to herself or to others in her persona. Bringing the game and all the lies tangled up in it to an end means she would finally have to face everything, and just thinking about that is enough to wipe the villainous grin off her face. But she’s still stubbornly going through with her plot, because she isn’t truly expecting she’ll have to face it, again because she is fully expecting to die permanently in the near future!!!! 

[You need regeneration.

Unfortunately, I don't have much faith in that process.

Of course not.

Why "of course not?".

You believe yourself to be incapable of starting over, in more ways than one. I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?]

MEPAD TIME!!!! Okay, here we have Mepad (rip king you would have loved the storyboards of your own death) urging Taco to heal!!! He’s looking out for her physical well-being, he can tell that she’s in pain and that her injury is quite dangerous, that being especially obvious the way he emphasises “need” in the line. And he is implying that she needs emotional healing as well!! He starts his Therapad-ing in his next line!! <3 He is very clearly worried about her, a lot of his presence in the first half of the song is just him looking at Taco with big concerned eyes!!!

And Taco has zero faith in the recovery process, between her, as Mepad helpfully says, believing herself to be incapable of starting over in more ways than one, her believing no one would want her to be recovered, her having a hunch of Mephone’s reluctance to revive her, or her own inability to see much of a future for herself, she does not believe she can come back!!! Angst!!!!! She is hurting so bad I love her <3

And Mepad is an empathy king!! And is probably the least biased against her out of everyone on the island!! And he can see beneath her crumbling exterior!!!! So her self-loathing and regret and everything she’s trying to push down is obvious to him. Of course she doesn’t believe she can be revived. And we see even Taco is surprised and even a bit miffed by this!!! Aside from Mic to a lesser extent, Mepad is the only person who can really see through her facade. Mic did try, and saw that Taco was hiding things, don’t get me wrong, but Taco was much more stable at that point and shut Mic’s attempts to see underneath her image down much harder than she is able to do during the song. 

And Mepad plainly spells out what she’s feeling. This is so important to why she opens up to him more in the next verse. Not only can she not hide her emotions from him, because he already knows, but having it spelled out like that means she can’t keep hiding it from herself either. She can’t ignore her feelings when they’re being clearly stated back to her. So all that she’s been pushing down comes springing right back up in the next verse!!!! She has to physically turn away from him and cross her arms in a final attempt to keep herself closed off, keep anyone from looking in, but after everything she just can’t do it anymore. 

["Clear the slate, start again",

Are you hearing how preposterous that sounds?

How do you not comprehend that for someone with my MONSTROUS BACKGROUND,

the whole slate has fallen apart!]

Oh my god guys Taco is being honest about her feelings it’s happening guys it’s happening!!!!! She’s turned away from Mepad for the first two lines, but as she really opens up to him, she turns back around, and gets louder along with the music. And we have Taco be like, the most emotionally open we see her!!! She’s putting Mepad’s rather succinct evaluation of her feelings into her own words. She doesn’t just think she can’t change or have a new start, she finds the notion preposterous!!! Forgiveness is inconceivable to her!!! Inconceivable!!! I can’t emphasize enough that this is the first time Taco has ever emotionally opened up to anyone ever and it is her telling Mepad that she is evil, unable to change, and will never be forgiven. We really get a feel for how everything has been weighing down on her for years, and how everything has built up to a point that she really can’t take it anymore!! But she doesn’t believe there’s any chance of a happy ending for her. Not only the whole slate, but her entire life has fallen apart!! She has lost everything and is fully confident she will never get anything back!!!

[Taco, that is not true.

There are other ways to-

It's too late-

It's not too late,

For me to restart!]

Mepad coming in trying to help <3 Notice how he comes in while she’s still holding the previous note!! He is immediately refuting her idea that she’s irredeemable!! He does the same to refute her when she says it’s too late!!! He is very concerned for her and trying to convince her that it’s not too late for her. He’s trying to tell her there are other options, that she’s not so far gone, but this sort of ends up backfiring, since not only does she not listen to him when he says these things but his interjection ends up snapping her out of the state of emotional vulnerability, and she pulls her facade right back up. Taco saying it’s too late for her kind of breaks my heart honestly, I love it when my blorbo is in pain don���t get me wrong but ow, my taco it’s gonna be okay I love you. She really sees no redemption or even future for herself, and at her lowest she’s finally expressed that to someone!!! Which is a very important step to healing!!!! She accidentally started the healing process by talking about her issues. I mean, she backpedals immediately, but still!!!! Great job Taco <3 And at the end of this line we head into Mepad’s face!! Because there’s a shift from Taco’s feelings to her pushing him away, literally and figuratively, after that moment of vulnerability!! The audience is going with Mepad, at the moment, chasing after Taco!!!

[But it's not I, its they,

Who deign to play this game, so,

Cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth,]

AND HERE COMES TACO WITH THE IMMEDIATE SUBJECT CHANGE!! She just did her first ever emotional vulnerability, and as per her usual strategy with her emotions she’s hard changing the subject!!! In this case, back to the final four and the game!!! She’s deflecting back on to both of them in quick succession trying to get a topic that isn’t her to stick! She is quite literally walking away from the topic in the visuals too!! She’s trying to get away from Mepad, who is trying to keep them on the subject of Taco’s feelings, looks back at him angrily when he keeps talking about it, and then is even more angry when he keeps going, before storming away from him again!!!

[Let us talk about it when your,

head is not so clouded. You're no,

menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?

Please think this through]

Mepad is trying to get her to go back to that emotional vulnerability!!! He wants to help her, he wants to talk through her issues with her rather than watching her self-destruct!!! I think this is where the idea that running the Truth or Flare challenge will help her comes from, too. He can tell she’s vulnerable, despite how hard she’s trying not to be, and she is talking things out, in a way, during ToF!! In a healthy way, no, but it’s Taco so we need to take what we can get. As he says, he’d rather do it when Taco has calmed down, taken a moment to not bury her feelings and even gets recovered, maybe. And here we get to a very important line!! Mepad asks her how they hurt her!!!! I genuinely don’t think Taco’s been asked this, yeah? Her whole schtick is supposed to be that she is the villain, she hurts people, not how she’s been hurt herself! And dare I say, me, the biggest Taco apologist and forehead kisser you ever did see, they have hurt her. She’s seen every other person who’s hurt the others be let into the hotel and accepted into the group, yeah? Balloon was accepted, after quite a bit of effort on his part. No one really seemed to care that Knife had killed Marsh for fun, Taco mentioning it in episode 13 as they’re arguing. Nickel and Taco are relatively similar in personality, but Nickel seemed to have relatively free reign to asshole all he wanted until Suitcase snapped at him, and even then it was just Suitcase who was angry with him. But not her. She hasn’t apologized to Pickle in person, at this point, but she had sent letters. She’d at least tried to contact him, and while he was well within his rights to ignore her, I can’t really blame her for not wanting to go inside the hotel either. Not to mention, Taco has been watching them all very closely, at least for the duration of the second season and likely after the first as well, for her to have found out about the second season and to have begun scheming so quickly. So every time they’ve spoken about her, every insult and awkward silence after someone mentions her name, she’s heard. That’s got to hurt!! Taco is very much not perfect and I don’t really blame the others for not reaching out to her given she hadn’t decided to make a change yet, but it also can’t be easy to make a change for the better when you are homeless in the woods!! Mic and Mepad’s willingness to help her is what really convinced her change would be good and possible, she hadn’t had anyone else reach out to her before, and to be fair, she folds pretty damn quickly in the grand scheme of things. Mic showed her she was likable as a person, and Mepad showed her she was redeemable, and with that support she is doing her best now!!! Anyways. Uh. There’s still one more line!! Mepad is pleading with Taco not to make things worse for herself, because taking over the challenge and such is only going to make them think she hasn’t changed at all and feed into the persona he knows is a sham in shambles at this point! Talking it out with him would be a much better way to do this!!! But alas, she’s dead set. 

[I think they're too afraid to,

Bear the bed they've made,

Can't bring themselves to face the awful truth.]

TACO & THE AWFUL TRUTH that she’s projecting. Yeah Taco is the one who is afraid to actually face her mistakes, the people she’d hurt. Though, she probably sees her isolation as doing so, yeah? She’s hurt people, so she has to be alone as punishment, even though that doesn’t give anyone closure. However! As for the awful truth, yeah, Taco really is one of the only ones who’s looked the competition in the eyes for everything it is and spat on it. She’s motivated by a lot of complicated feelings she tries not to feel, but she sees the game for what it is, and how it hurts the contestants involved!! And the final four are yet to take that look, until she gets everything laid out in front of them!!

[Feeling double-crossed is part of,

Dealing with a loss, yes, but the,

Healing is a process, that's the truth]

FEELING DOUBLE-CROSSED this line is also important because!! Taco does feel betrayed by Mic!! She feels guilty and blames herself for what happened, yes, but she still does feel that sting of betrayal, since Mic left her, yeah? Oh her part, she’d finally accepted Mic as her first true friend, someone who liked her for who she was and she liked being around, and almost immediately Mic left her. A lot of that is on Taco, don’t get me wrong, but from Taco’s end she still doesn’t even fully understand why Mic was mad at her!! She thinks it was all because of her getting violent, not because she didn’t listen to Mic. My low empathy queen is still struggling to fully grasp Mic’s motivations, her first friend that she could act “normal” around, so of course she’d feel betrayed! Taco is dealing with a loss!!!!!!!!! And she is NOT healing!! She is trying to push it down like always, but it’s become too much for her!!! And Mepad is telling her that healing is a process because it’s so much for her at the moment!! He’s trying to communicate that she’s going to feel better eventually, that she needs help and time to do so, instead of rushing into another scheme!!! He’s telling her the truth, that healing is possible!!! But as Taco rejects his pleas for her to reconsider and grabs him, we shift back into reality. Taco is unconvinced, and they’re more or less at square one, with Taco’s mask for the rest of the world securely back in place.

Everyone look at this shot RIGHT NOW I’m going to explode. All these cracks come from the ii logo that Taco stomped on, yeah? And those cracks in the game spread, and create the cracks in her. She has been broken by the game!!! Look at her face! Does she look whole and happy to you? I didn’t think so. And here we have Taco close to the camera, looking out towards the viewer, to illustrate how although she’s separate from the game, more of a spectator than the player anymore, she’s still trapped inside the competition that’s broken her!! And we have Mepad in the background, further away with his position as an assistant!! The cracks are all around him rather than through him, because he’s not being hurt by the game!! He’s not a competitor!! But the game is crumbling everything around him. He’s watched everything, just like Taco has!! Every betrayal, every fight this season, Mepad has been watching. And the more he’s been seeing, the more he’s been feeling, and the more he’s been able to see how the game tears people apart and breaks them, just like it’s broken Taco. 

[So I'm turning up the heat to "sauté",

I've a beef to get grilled,

But I fully guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled,

Won't be mine, no I'm fine,

Shhhh...

Now it's time…]

Guys I think Taco might not be fine. She’s shoved her facade right up and has closed herself back off, moving to continue with her plot. She’s going to grill the final four and 100% not get upset or feel any feelings, nope. Of course this is not what happened, and from Taco’s facial expression when she claims to be fine she has a hunch it’s not going to be so easy. She knows and has acknowledged to herself that she is not okay, which is a big step, but she still stuck in her ways in terms of ignoring it in favor of playing the role she’s been designated. Her mask is cracked, her confidence is transparent, but she’s still acting. Mepad is still trying to help her here, but she physically silences him. Not literally, per say, as turning him invisible wouldn’t stop him from talking, but she shushes him and he gets the memo. The window to convince her to stop has closed, and she’s going forth with her plan regardless of how well she is. 

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!! <3 I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! I REALLY HOPE THIS DIDN’T SUCK. IT TOOK A WHILE TO WRITE SO IF IT SUCKS THAT SUCKS FOR ME. HOPEFULLY I DIDN’T MISS TOO MUCH. THROW TOMATOES AT ME IF I DID (i will be sad). GIVE ME COOKIES IF NOT (joy inducers).

[luwritesstuff]

Hi! Could you possibly do something with Eddie Diaz? Maybe his Tia sets you up on a date 🙏🏽

this one was so cute and fun to write 🙊 let me know if you'd want a part 2!

Dating in the 21st Century

wc: 831

Pepa Diaz has been your mom’s client for years now. No one gave manicures like her and Pepa had ended up becoming her best friend in the process. You'd even met Pepa once or twice at the salon, and the occasional lunch your mom dragged you to.

It wasn't uncommon for your mom to try to set you up, it had become somewhat of a ritual of you gently letting guys down and reporting back to your mom on everything that had gone wrong on the date. So when she came to you to tell you about Pepa’s nephew, you couldn't hold back the sigh that escaped you.

“Mama, that's very sweet of Pepa, but I don't know if I have another blind date in me,” you called over your shoulder while you finished mopping the front of the salon. You didn't work there full time anymore, but you still helped out where you could.

Your mom tsk’ed you and pinched your side, “Don't be so pessimistic! I wouldn't tell you about him if I didn't think it was a good idea. Pepa showed me pictures, he's very pretty, mija,” she wiggled her eyebrows and managed to pull a small smile out of you, “Just one date, yeah? You can leave early if you hate it, but promise me you’ll try. His name is Eddie, you'll love him.”

You never really could say no to your mom, ultimately. You cursed her internally while doing the finishing touches to your makeup and adjusting your sundress. With any luck, you wouldn't have to go through this whole routine again anytime soon. Maybe your mom would give you a break after this one. After a final glance in the mirror, you threw your bag over your shoulder and left to meet your date at a small cafe you'd agreed on earlier in the week.

You arrived to find Eddie waiting by the entrance in a cream, long sleeved shirt and dark wash jeans. In an effort to keep an open mind like you'd promised your mom, you let yourself admire the way his shirt tightened around his biceps. So Pepa wasn't lying, he was attractive. “Hi, Eddie right?” You smiled and held a hand out to shake his.

After introducing yourself, you both ordered a latte and a pastry before finding a table on the patio to sit in the sun. Eddie was a perfect gentleman, he paid for your drink, held your chair out for you, made sure the sun wasn't in your eyes. You felt a sudden relief and let yourself relax into your seat. “Your Tia is your biggest fan, by the way. Her and my mom wouldn't let me rest until I agreed to meet the 'most amazing young man in LA’,” you teased, grinning at Eddie over the rim of your mug.

Eddie blushed easily and you filed that away for later. “She's all talk. She's just getting tired of me being single,” he laughed and leaned back in his chair, “you'd think her full time job was setting me up on dates.” You let out a dramatic groan, “You too? My mom bought me a subscription to a dating app for my birthday last year!”

This made Eddie let out a shocked laugh and you noticed the way his eyes crinkled and you were already thinking of ways to get him to laugh more. You took turns telling first date horror stories and making each other laugh. Eddie was good at that, you found. You hadn't laughed like that in ages, not in a way that wasn't forced or awkward. Eddie told you about his son, showed you pictures, and the way you took in each one made Eddie’s heart leap with possibilities. Maybe his Tia was right, maybe you'd be good for him.

“I just feel like there's so much pressure to date, you know? I have to act a certain way, say the right things, it's exhausting. I just want to be myself,” you sighed and Eddie felt more secure than he had in years. He agreed wholeheartedly and you felt comfort in knowing that you were with someone who wasn't interested in putting on an act or playing some stupid game.

After another few hours and more shared pastries, Eddie walked you to your car. For the first time in what felt like forever, you didn't feel the need to come up with some lame excuse and you found yourself wishing the day was longer. You didn't have to ask if Eddie felt the same way, he pressed a careful kiss to your cheek and squeezed your hands in both of his own. “Can I see you again?” he whispered and you nodded, returning the kiss to his cheek, “Please.”

Your mom and Pepa spent their next appointment gossiping over your date, and the two dates after. And they were totally not smug about it, only saying ‘I told you so’ a reasonable four times.

[0neir0z]

yeah i'll probably still use tik tok, but Even less than i did when i stopped posting media takes and general fandom content on there a while ago (it houses my drag and cosplay content primarily)... but as a commemoration to 15/16 year old nic, formerly hannibastardlecter, here's an update to one of my favorite stupid headcanon posts.

what the nbc hannibal characters are getting cancelled on twt for

will: he doesn't have twitter but this was a coup staged by his students: complaints about how he never grades anything on time, animal neglect, running away with a man instead of finishing out the semester. other people get on this train and it's for being an ex cop and also a fed.

hannibal: always getting into random fights on that damn ipad of his about anything really, unhelpful mental health threads, yapping too damn much, BUT nothing about the serial murder and the cannibalism because twt users rarely focus on the important

alana: ngl i cooked with this one the first time and it's for being a moderate democrat who Still thinks it's okay to reach across the aisle and be friends regardless of politics, calling her relationship with margot lesbian even though she is bisexual

freddie: are you joking it's literally everything you could ever imagine someone getting nuked on that website for, she doxxes and gets doxxed daily, it's where you can find the colostomy bag pic

abigail: the vegans got to her, never escaping the "what if she's like her dad" allegations, swiftie

bedelia: she is too grown to be on twitter but probably supporting applied behavioral analysis therapy and lowk being a terf (idk who i was when i had this take the first time but it is Correct)

jack: does not have twitter. probably just general hatred bc he is above all a fed.

bev: nothing honestly. probably just posts innocuous life updates and pictures with unmistakably gen x hashtags. a little funny.

price: being an old gay with old gay takes. fbi drag race era carson kressley.

zeller: i just Know that man was weird asf on there when he was in college in its inception

franklyn: Being So So Weird About Real People (hannibal), idk if twt has a cheese community on there but i bet they hate his ass also

not included in the original but matthew brown is a fucking FREAK on that website and so is chilton.

original if you even care:

[cautionwetspiralstaircase]

gonna be writing down some of my favourite bits from pili's out-of-character Q&A today ^^ here's him talking about his character's relationship with pangi and badboyhalo

(source: Dtowngato 22 Jan 2025 TALKING ABOUT MY CHARACTER The Realm SMP --- ( Main Account @/dtowncat ), around 1h9min)

Pili: Talking about Pangi and Pili... I feel like my character definitely senses that Pangi has some sort of, like, feelings (...) that aren’t actually mentioned directly. And he feels like- cause a lot of people are like “Why is Pili flirting with a million people when Pangi is there? Like he doesn’t see that Pangi is literally giving so many clues and things, and (...)”. That’s where the avoidant attachment thing goes through, because since he sees these other things (Pili flirting with everyone) as little silly games (...) and just being silly and whimsical... It’s like, when he’s with Pangi, he knows that Pangi may actually mean it. (...) And that’s where he gets like kinda- push him away, or whatever. 

It’s just like... complicated. So since he doesn’t really want that to happen, he doesn’t really actually want a romantic relationship- (...) that’s where he kinda starts pushing Pangi away. And I feel like a great example for this is that my character does not want deep emotions or attachments to anyone. To anyone at all. Even Pangi. And that’s why he hates him, in a way, and that’s why he calls him his weakness. Because for example, the reason why to this point I feel like my character has been more comfortable with Badboyhalo, telling him more secret things, being more open to him, is because I think my character and Badboyhalo both understand themselves very well in that aspect. And he also knows that Badboyhalo won’t actually get a deep attachment to him. Like if he dies, he knows Badboyhalo will be like “Aww, that’s sad” and then he’ll just move on with his life. Cause that’s kinda like his normal thing to do. He knows that if something happens and he has to ditch Badboyhalo, he won’t have some sort of explosive emotional reaction to it, and he won’t throw his life away, he’ll just keep going. Which I think that’s why right now my character and Badboyhalo are very close, even closer than Pangi and Pili. 

For example, on the first divorce arc, Pangi- it was also kind of a test, because Pili knew that he was gonna go fight people, that he may not come out alive. And he was trying to push him away so Pangi wouldn’t do something stupid to try and save him. (...) Because he knew that Badboyhalo wouldn’t do anything to save him. That’s the difference, okay? Because he knew that Pangi would be dumb enough to act emotionally and try to stop the fight or do something to stop it or like, if he died, he would go crazy. And I think Pangi proved my character’s point, which was- when he tried to push him away, he was like “Alright, that’s it, I’m killing everyone, I’m ending the world, and I’m ending myself”. Which my character really doesn’t like that sort of- thing. 

My character knows that he’s not a good person, he knows that he’s not done good things, he knows that sometimes he’s an asshole, and... he knows that he has insanely self-destructive tendencies. He just has this sort of thing where he keeps putting himself to suffer and suffer and suffer, and that’s part of how he is, all the time. And he knows that Pangi won’t take that well, and Pangi will be like “No, Pili! You don’t need to die! I’ll die if you die!” And that kinda rubs him the wrong way, which is also why he kinda has been more distant with Pangi I think. It’s just too complicated, really. It definitely hurts, cause he definitely knows that he has a weak spot for Pangi and vice versa, and they’re definitely some sort of like, platonic soulmates type of situation.

(chatter mentions his conversation with Pangi on Clown’s tower about not wanting Pangi to avenge him) Yeah. He’s just like, dude, I want to do this, and I’ve been doing this for so long, you don’t need to avenge me, you don’t need to go into this villain arc just because I wanted this thing. (...) That’s why nowadays he- I don’t know if you guys noticed, but my character barely tells any secrets to Pangi, and tells everything to Badboyhalo. Which is odd, cause I feel like technically Pangi and Pili were the closer ones, but it’s more like that kind of- avoidant attachment thing. That is just like pushing him away, in a way. So Pangi doesn’t get hurt, or get involved too much into it.

(chatter suggests that tr!Pili doesn’t like others showing too much emotion) I feel like it’s also a thing like, for example, with Clown, he knows that it’s one-sided, and he likes it being one-sided. Because he- it’s also this thing like, I don’t know how to translate it, but you get the love that you think you deserve. (...) So basically it’s just more like he feels like Pangi is too good for him, and he doesn’t deserve that type of good attention or things. And that’s why he’s always saying like “Oh you should move on with your life, you should find someone else that actually can give you what you probably deserve, because I’m not that person (...). Because I don’t have that sort of behaviour and I don’t have that sort of tendencies and I don’t have that sort of things”. 

(chatter asks how tr!Pili would react to Badboyhalo also becoming strongly attached to him) I feel like in the same way, it would definitely start rubbing him the wrong way.

(chatter suggests that he also pushes Pangi away and refuses to become attached because of his mental health) Yeah. Definitely that is true, I feel like my character has definitely suffered a lot and there’s a lotta traumas and things (...) inside. So I feel like he has repeated the cycle so many times, and (...) he doesn’t wanna keep repeating it anymore. He’s down to suffer and be in pain and whatever, be a masochist, just not that route when it implies other people are involved and (...) suffering because of him. 

(chatter suggests that Badboyhalo has more predictable reactions to secrets while there are more unknowns with Pangi, and more secrets that might cause Pangi to take immediate action) I don’t know. I don’t know how- Pangi is sometimes too chill about this. I think Pangi definitely has a lot of trust in Mocha (note: mocha is his character (the cat)'s name, although ofc everyone on the realm just uses "pili").

[ri-writes-if]

I have just finished reading all routes and my current tier list is

1 - Ash (the GOAT, the CHAD, the best demon of of TAS, Vez may have the crown but Ash is the one truly on the throne /j, can't wait to be able to officially kiss them and love the parts they hate about themselves and have even more tea & snacks date in their garden and kiss some more maybe on their hands and maybe even get on my knees and kiss their feet-)

2 - Vez (I have a weakness for Dilfs & Milfs and I have already been called out by my friends for that from how I was going feral over Vez, I would gladly let myself be thrown around by them and I would also gladly give them some shoulder/back massage and some forehead kisses and gladly listen to all their troubles and-)

3 - Az & Laz (I always put myself in a sibling sandwich with Ash and Az when playing each other's route with one being my bestie and the other my future wife/husband but Az has won my heart all on their own because I also have a weakness for just plain fun romance (even if in here we have a side dish of juicy secrets) and Laz is on the spectrum of "I hate you, but I love you, but I hate you" and I love it, and it's also, I think, unintentionally funny how Laz tries to manipulate us and the Oracle is just "don't fall for it, don't fall for it, don't fall for- *catches feelings* DAMMIT", I guess this can go both ways too? LOL)

4 - Os (don't misunderstand their placement!! I loved all routes! It's just that Os still lacks some of the sugar, spice and everything nice (well, as nice as possible considering the circunstances) that the others have, we get sprinkles of it like at the sparring scene and when we see their own pov, but otherwise my guy/gal Os needs to relax a lil' and step up their game! Though considering I already enjoy them I think if they unleash their full power I will not survive)

Anyways! TAS is REALLY fun to read through and it was REALLY fun to test out not only all routes but even the several variations of encounters you can have on the first chapters before choosing a route, I played around quite a bit with those

Thank you for your hard work on this story and into bringing it and all it's characters to life!

I see another Ash's lover! I'm happy you love them so much 🥹 Don't let your friends stop you from being feral about Vez. They would love the energy! You'll be able to do all of that eventually, I think, maybe in a different order :)

Plain fun romance... *nervous laughter* Yeah, it's very fun, very romantic, very. Nice. You have nothing to worry about on Az's route, I promise ☺️👍

You're right about Laz & the Oracle. They're in a similar conundrum because of each other, lol. Idiots in love (soon).

I wonder if Os will rise up in the ranks when they pick up the pace and actually begin the game (they'll start in the next chapter). They've been very reserved so far, and I can't wait for the moment when I can write them with their stoic mask off 😤

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for your kind words! 💛💐 This was lovely to read after I just woke up.

[victoryarchive]

Ok. I’ll bite. Hermit! Tommy? Because that looks an awful lot like a really cool Watcher au something? Please share!

Omg if you insist lmao

Buckle up this is gonna be a lot.

This all started when I was thinking about Greek mythology (a common occurrence I fear) and I was thinking how even though Helios is the sun and the god of the sun many people these days assign that role to Apollo (the god of light). And that got me thinking more and more about how as time progresses stories change and gods become gods of things they never were before. New gods exist. Old ones are completely forgotten. Their names change. Look at Roman mythology for a great example of this.

And because I’m one hell of a nerd this immediately translated to ‘how can I use this in fan fiction’

Another thing you must know about me is I hate to fall back on Minecraft mechanics, it feels lazy for me to do it (it’s fine to read I just hate writing it) and must always find a way to make things like respawn and different worlds fit into the lore of the story.

Thus began the world building:

Every watcher is a god of something, Xelqua/Grian: the sun, Pearl: the moon, Kristin: The underworld, XD: [redacted], etc. Each watcher has the ability to create a world (or multiple depending on their power) for their people to live (Grian: hermitcraft, Pearl: Empires, Kristin: the Antarctic Empire, XD: the DSMP, etc) Within these worlds it is very common practice for the Watchers to choose a devoted follower to give a small portion of their power to oversee their world, to make rules and keep everyone safe, an Admin. (Grian: Xisuma, Pearl: fWhip, Kristin: Philza, XD: Dream, etc.)

Now none of these watchers just spawned as watchers, no they became watchers through people worshipping them and writing stories about them as gods. These stories held power so the person held power and became essentially immortal and can do pretty much anything with that power, at least until they are forgotten.

So far the story begins with Xelqua brining his players back from their silly death game and being intercepted by a very very old goddess, one who had almost been completely forgotten. This primordial goddess is peace, not just the goddess of peace, she is peace. She is called Prime. She asks Grian and Xisuma to take her last worshipper and devotee, Tommy, and protect him from another Watcher. And with a little bit of convincing Grian’s like ‘yeah fine ig I’ll take the kid. How difficult can one child be.’

Now that’s as far as I’ve written aside from the beginning backstory stuff, but I’ve got a lot of stuff planned, including an entire few chapters inspired by ‘god games’ from epic the musical, where Grian has to go fight for some mortals life. One of them. I know which one. Yall don’t :)

There’s also a lot of Grian and Pearl back story from when they were kids and still mortal like thousands and thousands of years ago and how they eventually became literal gods.

Tommy learns how friends are supposed to work and gets mentored by none other than Mumbo Jumbo, or Impulse i haven’t decided yet. The only thing I know about Minecraft is redstone so he’s learning redstone.

Also it would be a damn shame for me to not include False and Tommy flying together a bunch bc they’re the only to avians that can match each others speed.

There’s some stuff going on with techno being an admin on an anarchy server. He comes in later in an absolute rage.

Also Joel is a demigod… it makes sense I swear.

I’m having a lot of fun playing around with the world building and each individual characters back story so I will expand on anything if people ask about it :))))

Thank you for asking this has been fun

[ronancecats]

ok you got me super curious. why don't you like steve?

This is gonna be a long one, so unbuckle your seatbelts, slam on the brakes, and do a front flip out of the windshield.

I'm going to break it down by season because that will help me get all my points down, and I don't want to leave anything out. Also, a little disclaimer: I do like Steve's writing, and I appreciate the way he's developed and the role he plays, but with that being said, I still don't like him as a character.

I'm going to try and explain each reason the best I can, but I low-key suck at that so I'm sorry if anything seems confusing.

SEASON 1:

season 1 is the season that is most self-explanatory of why I don't like him, I don't think anyone genuinely likes him in season 1.

-He literally slut shamed Nancy. Like...I don't care if he was only a teenager/had bad friends. He would've been 17 and old ENOUGH to understand the consequences of that and that it would hurt Nancy...that's why he did it in the first place.

-he was awful to Jonathan, and I'm not necessarily talking about the breaking camera thing, I'm talking about what he said to him before the fight. He called him queer (a slur back in the 80's), insulted his family, and insinuated that he had something to do with his little brother's disappearance.

-He pressured Nancy into sex. NO, HE DID NOT SA HER. It was consensual, but with that being said, something can still be consensual and enjoyed while having pressure on top of that. Also, he didn't stop Carol when she was mocking Nancy and making her uncomfortable; he was smug about it. But yes, I understand he was just a teenager then.

-He just, in general, didn't respect her boundaries at all and made Barb's disappearance about himself AT FIRST.

SEASON 2:

-He left Nancy, black out drunk, at a party. Yes, he was heartbroken, but he left her there and she was really lucky that Jonathan was there.

There's not much else in season 2 honestly. Mostly my feelings about him in s2 come from the first couple episodes when all he wanted was to make Nancy forget about her guilt and leaving her at the party. But yeah, I don't care about him in s2.

SEASON 3:

There's nothing necessarily bad about him in s3. I just hate how they made him this big character but then pushed Jonathan to the side, but that has nothing to do with his character. That's just a personal pet peeve I have with the duffers.

S3 was definitely his best season and the only one I can say I liked him in. They let him focus on his platonic relationships instead of making him chase after Nancy the whole time, and I like that. If they kept him like this for s4, I probably wouldn't dislike him as much as I do, but they just had to make him go back to that and it ruined him for me. Hopefully in s5 they'll let him be like his s3 self again.

SEASON 4:

-the six nugget speech. OH MY GOD BROTHER EUGH. I could make a whole essay about this, but long story short, it was completely unhinged and just shows he only wants Nancy for his dream, and he doesn't really care about her dreams in a romantic sense. He's in love with the idea of her, not her.

In conclusion, I only like Steve when they don't make his entire character revolve around Stancy and that dead relationship. Let Stancy die, I BEG OF YOU. It's better for Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and literally everyone who watched the damn show without rose-colored glasses for Steve.

If they just let the love triangle die in s2, I can almost guarantee that I would like Steve more. But alas, they didn't and kept it around as if we don't already know how it's going to end.

Anyway, I probably went into way more detail than you wanted me to, but oh well. I wanted to be honest.

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚Eyes on you, eyes on me

Title from Eyes on you (SEVENTEEN)

Summary: While playing a game Jeonghan gets hurt. Jihoon blames himself. - A rewriting of Day 21: "Let's play a game" from Woozi’s perspective.

CW: injury, guilt

Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon (+ Jeonghan) Caretakers: Hoshi/Soonyoung + Wonwoo

Let’s play a game, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Jihoon was most definitely not having fun. Not even in the slightest. 

He had long overcome any insecurities surrounding his height, knowing it would be his downfall if he let it get to him. Most of the time it didn’t bother him that he was shorter than most male idols, even some female ones. He’d been able to brush it off with grace, enduring the bit of teasing that wasn’t worse than what Mingyu received for his clumsiness, Seungcheol got hit with just for being the (albeit very pouty) leader and Dino because he was the maknae.

So normally he didn’t mind and he wasn’t about to start getting insecure now.

If anything though, he was angry. Angry at the staff that had hung the signs for the Chaos game this Going Episode just out of his reach. They should have taken his height into consideration, just like people considered that Jun, Minghao and Joshua sometimes couldn’t follow very fast conversation and game explanations or considered the injuries any member had at times.

And he was angry at Hoshi who kept teasing him. He knew deep down that his best friend didn’t mean it at all, in fact he was probably trying to make the episode fun and simultaneously trying to lighten the mood seeing how Jihoon was getting more and more worked up. But right now, it didn’t help Jihoon in the slightest. In fact, it made it worse.

“Should I get you a box to stand upon?”, Soonyoung asked cheekily, winking at Jihoon.

Yeah. Funny.

“Leave it, Soonyoung”, Jihoon mumbled, feeling his nerves fraying.

It was going to be a humiliating episode for him for sure. And he hated getting humiliated unlike Mingyu and DK who he was sure had some form of humiliation kink. Okay, damn, his thoughts were really falling apart.

Even worse, his whole team was probably going to be the butt of Carat’s jokes soon. Vernon, oblivious as fuck, barely was any help and Jeonghan, their only hope, had gotten caught by their general leader when he had tried to cheat.

“Come on, you normally don’t care about being vertically challenged”, Hoshi teased further.

Something in Jihoon snapped at his words. Why couldn’t Soonyoung read the room and leave him alone?

“Go screw yourself”, he snarled, not caring at all that the whole part would need to be edited out due to his use of curse words. He was rather glad.

He wasn’t proud of his actions, of shoving his shoulder into Soonyoung’s chest as he stomped past, but at the moment he couldn’t care less about the hurt look he saw on the dancer’s face.

💎

He stood by the stairs leading down to the ground floor, taking deep calming breaths so he wouldn’t snap at another member or staff, when he saw the sign with the number 17 high up by the stairs. Wait, that was the number their team was looking for!

There was no way Jihoon was going to be able to reach that. He didn’t even need to test if he could reach it by standing on his tip-toes. It was much too high. He’d have to bite the bullet of asking for help.

Ashamed with how he had treated Hoshi, he knew that he couldn’t keep holding onto the anger boiling inside him. It was a team game and he was a team player. After taking another deep breath he called out for his Jeonghan-hyung. 

If anything Jihoon knew he needed Jeonghan to keep him in line should he get snappish again and he wouldn’t take it to heart like Vernon might. Since both of them were the same height it didn’t matter anyways.

When his hyung approached, Jihoon helplessly gestured up at the sign out of reach. 

Jeonghan actually groaned and mumbled: “I hate this game.”

That was just plain unfair. He didn’t get to be pouty too. Right now, Jihoon felt like he deserved to be the only one complaining. He crossed his arms over his chest aching with guilt and annoyance.

“You’re telling me that?”

Jihoon was stunned when he felt Jeonghan patting his head, cooing at him. It was plain rude and he was starting to feel angry again. He understood it was for fan service, yes, and that this section might need to be on camera since they were about to actually do something. Besides, he had already ruined one shot. So to keep himself from cursing at the older, he hit him - maybe a bit harder than strictly necessary - to satisfy his need for violence.

Even then all Jeonghan said was: “Cute.”

Okay. Two could play this game.

“You’re just pissed that you were caught cheating”, Jihoon said.

“I am not”, Jeonghan lied. Jihoon was sure of it. “Only that Seungcheol betrayed me like this.”

Yeah, that had been very unfair of the general leader, Jihoon had to admit to it. Jeonghan may have broken the rules, but again their team consisted of lazy Jeonghan, short Jihoon and confused Vernon while tall Seungcheol had annoying Hoshi and fucking tower Mingyu. It was deserved extra help.

As always Seungcheol started to pout when he heard his full name, yelling: “Hey. Stop pouting. You deserved that!” all across the house.

“Shut up”, Jihoon and Jeonghan called back.

Jihoon crossed his arms again, seeing that Jeonghan followed his example. Now that Jihoon saw Jeonghan stand next to him he felt a bit better. There also was no way that Jeonghan could reach that paper. It made Jihoon feel a bit better about himself, though he would never admit it. 

After staring at it for a few moments, Jihoon’s patience ran out. “What are we gonna do about that?”

“I suppose, I could try balancing?”, Jeonghan suggested. 

Did his hyung have a death wish? Jihoon whirled around to stare him down, disbelief cursing through his veins. How did Jeonghan think that would go?

“Are you crazy? You’ll fall.”

“I won’t.”

💎

Jihoon was about to reply something along the lines of “mighty last words” when Jeonghan just stepped forwards and stood on his tip-toes to reach the paper. His fingertips were nearly comically far away.

“Hold me”, he ordered and grasped onto Jihoon’s hand before he had even the slightest chance to tell his hyung how big of an idiot he was. All he could do was beg him to stop.

“Hyung, don’t!”, he called out, unashamed of his voice slightly trembling. Jeonghan was crazy. They were on the top of a long flight of stairs. If there was one thing the active toddler in him remembered was his parents telling him to never mess around with stairs. You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse. Be careful, please!

Jeonghan, apparently, never had had that particular lecture. He probably had been too lazy to be running around stairs as a child already. But at least common sense from the smarter than average man should tell him it was a terrible horrible idea. Yet, he just held onto Jihoon and edged further and further over the abyss below. 

“Hyung!”

Jihoon held tighter onto him, not willing to let his friend fall. His palms were sweaty and he could practically feel Jeonghan slip further away from him. He may have started working out a few weeks ago but that didn’t mean he could already hold onto a grown-ass man, a grown-ass man much bigger than him no less. Especially not on top of stairs.

“Hyung!”

Jeonghan grabbed onto the paper and for a moment it seemed like maybe Jihoon had been a bit too overly cautious and that they would succeed after all. But then, as Jeonghan tore off the paper, it wasn't enough. No matter how hard Jihoon tried to pull them back up, he wasn’t strong enough. Not to save both of them.

“HYUNG!”, he screamed, their hands torn apart. For a moment Jeonghan’s face seemed frozen in front of him, various emotions painted on his face. Surprise. Shock. Fear. Desperation. Then he fell.

💎

Jihoon’s knees exploded in pain as he fell forward, only his body’s instinct to lean backward stopping him from falling down the stairs as well. 

When he managed to recover from the shock of pain all he could see was his hyung - his loving, doting, smart, amazing, kind, gentle, sweet, helpful, mischievous hyung - laying broken at the bottom of the stairs, managers, staff, members crowding him and then hiding him from Jihoon’s sight. 

He couldn’t control the scream that was torn from his throat.

All Jihoon wanted to do was rush down the stairs to Jeonghan, check on him, see if he was … alive. He surely was alive, wasn’t he? 

You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse.

Jihoon couldn’t move, no matter how much he wanted. It was like he was rooted to the spot, frozen to the ground, set in stone. Everything was blurry.

💎

Suddenly strong arms wrapped around his chest and pulled him back, causing him to fall backwards and collapse into the person. He gasped, throat raw, and then he blinked up at the person. 

His blurred sight - it was only then when he tasted the salty tears on his tongue that he realised he was crying - showed he was cradled in Wonwoo’s lap, the older man holding him tightly. Next to him sat Soonyoung who looked about as scared as Jihoon felt, but much more determined. 

“Jihoon-ah?”, Soonyoung asked gently and held onto Jihoon’s hand. 

For a moment Jihoon swore he could feel Jeonghan’s hand slipping from his again.

“Jihoon-ah? Are you injured? Does something hurt?”, Soonyoung asked and when Jihoon could only stare at him, chest heaving, he cupped Jihoon’s cheek in his hand, his thumb wiping away the tears.

Normally Jihoon would have killed Soonyoung for even thinking about doing anything like this but right now it was the most comforting thing in the world. 

Slowly he shook his head. The pain in his knees had lessened mostly and he knew there was nothing they could do against the bruises there. 

“Jeonghannie-hyung?”, he asked instead, before he was even aware he would ask the question, “is he okay?”

Wonwoo and Soonyoung exchanged a glance that made the blood freeze in Jihoon’s veins. “Please, is he okay?”

“Jihoonie”, Wonwoo finally said and held him tighter, “we don’t know yet. But paramedics are on the way and the others are taking care of hyung right now. We should focus on you.”

Take care of him? Jihoon didn’t understand. He was fine.

“You’re not fine, baby”, Soonyoung said with a sad smile, “you’re pretty scared, huh? I think you may be experiencing a bit of shock right now.”

All Jihoon could do was nod. He didn’t have the strength to lie and he did feel pretty shocked. 

Suddenly Soonyoung let go of him. Jihoon gasped, not wanting to lose the contact. He didn’t want to lose Soonyoung too.

“Hey, hey”, Soonyoung said, sounding a bit further away, “I’m not leaving you. I’m just gonna elevate your legs for a bit, okay? Just until you feel a bit better. Just breathe, okay?”

Jihoon nodded and closed his eyes. Soonyoung’s hands were warm against his calves and he was not only elevating his legs, he was soothingly patting Jihoon’s ankle, giving him something to focus on. His head was still resting in Wonwoo’s lap and only now did he notice that Wonwoo was gently stroking his hair and softly humming a song. 

Ulgo sipji ana

💎

Jihoon let the older members take care of him for once. His heart still hadn’t stopped pounding in his chest and he noticed he was shivering. He was terrified, shocked like Soonyoung had said. He couldn’t bring himself to move, to look, to go to Jeonghan for now. He was too scared of what he would see. He didn’t want to lose Jeonghan. He didn’t think he could ever stop the self-blame if something bad had happened. Why hadn’t he been stronger?

It took a while for Jihoon to stop crying and trembling. It passed like the blink of an eye, an eternity at the same time. Slowly Wonwoo helped him sit up, Jihoon’s back against his chest. 

“Breathe, Jihoon-ah.” The producer could hear the older’s chest rumble as he spoke in his gentle, kind voice. “You’re okay. Hannie-hyung will be okay too.”

You don’t know that, Jihoon wanted to shoot back. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak the words.

You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse.

“I want to see hyung”, Jihoon said, his voice more determined than he felt. “I need to see hyung.”

“Okay”, Soonyoung replied gently and let go of Jihoon’s legs, “let’s go.”

He stood up and reached his hands down to help Jihoon up. With Wonwoo’s hand on his back and Soonyoung holding his hands, Jihoon shakily got to his feet. His knees buckled a bit under him but he managed to stay standing. 

Soonyoung never let go of Jihoon as they slowly walked down the stairs together, Jihoon’s gaze fixed on the steps. He didn’t know how he would react when he saw Jeonghan and he didn’t want to cause Soonyoung to fall down the stairs too if he freaked out.

💎

Once they were at the bottom of the stairs, Jihoon noticed that the bubble of people surrounding Jeonghan was gone. Instead only Minghao was kneeling by their hyung’s side. The younger member was stroking away the tears on Jeonghan’s face. Jihoon didn’t know if they came from pain or shock. Some strands of hair stuck to Jeonghan’s cheeks that Minghao carefully peeled away, gentle as always. For a moment Jihoon could only watch. Jeonghan looked much more peaceful than he had imagined but it was still scary to see him so still.

“Please be more careful, hyung”, Minghao whispered, “it was terrifying. I was taking a break and was watching you and Woozi-hyung. Seeing you fall so suddenly … I … you really scared us today.”

Jihoon swallowed. He hadn’t even had thought about what the situation would do to the other members - he had only thought of Jeonghan and himself. He imagined it must have been so scary, maybe the suddenness of it all even more so than to Jihoon who was involved in the situation.

“I’m sorry, Eissa. I didn’t think”, Jeonghan mumbled. But Jihoon couldn’t believe the next words his self-sacrificing idiot of a hyung said “Are the others okay?”

He didn’t hesitate to interject, stepping forward, away from Soonyoung. His voice came out less angry than he had imagined, weaker than intended. 

“So much is clear. That you didn’t think, I mean. Do you know how terrifying it was to feel your hand slip out of my grip and see you fall?”

Jihoon sat down and wrapped an arm around Minghao who had startled at his sudden appearance, letting the scared younger member rest against him. Even if Minghao was acting strong, Jihoon could see how he was scared and he wasn’t as heartless as some people thought him to be. 

Only then did he finally look at Jeonghan, barely able to meet his eyes. I wish I could have saved you, hyung. I wish I had been stronger.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon-ah”, Jeonghan apologized quietly. “I never wanted to make you go through that.”

Jihoon didn’t really want to hear the apology. He didn’t think he could accept it yet. He knew he should have been stronger. But he also knew Jeonghan never should have played with his health, his safety like this. As loath as Jihoon was to admit it - this was Jeonghan’s fault in a way. He had decided to play. He had trusted Jihoon to hold him - and Jihoon had failed him - but still it had been his decision in the beginning to even try the stunt.

“I know, hyung. Please don’t be so reckless in the future”, Jihoon just said. I’m sorry.

But he couldn’t say those last words, because suddenly the door was flung open and paramedics rushed into the room. Jihoon squeezed Jeonghan’s hand tightly, hoping it conveyed the apology, and stepped back. Immediately Soonyoung was there, wrapping him in his arms again.

💎

Now all they could do was wait and hope that their Jeonghan would be fine.

[allie-ggggay]

drops big ol hc list

chan takes birth control ( cuz of david.. side eying david), iron pills n anti depressants, she diesnt admit to being emo she tells ppl she takes it for shits n giggles (shes been given it by a professional doctor) OR tracy's like "ay want some drugs" n chans like free drugs hell yeah?? but its secretly anti depressants

vros got the worse insomnia and internalized homophobia so she'll just lay there at night being like "girls cant love girls girls cant love girls girls cant love girls GIRLS CANT LOVE GIRLS"

she havs hypersexuality cuz of david, kurt n ram cuz yeah theyre gross

she picks every scab she had, but she tries not to pick any on her face, hands or neck cuz she doesnt want them to be out there and stuff

she has so many freckles, most are on her face, chest and legs but a few more are on the rest of her body

she has stretch marks and absolutely HATES them but its ok riley im joy

shes not an elegant cryer she SOBS and her nose RUNS and her eyes get all red and PUFFY

she hates getting her hair touched and messed up, mac, roni n duke have to get permission from her, if they dont they get a hand to the cheek

she hates being alone sm if shes alone you just know she's calling one of the heathers

if she gets tired of walking she'll ask mac for a piggy back ride

when chan gets hurt that girl SHREIKS, like if she stubs her toe all ur gonna hear is "……aaAAAAAAAA-"

bros got religious trauma n stuff cuz her parents r religious asf n homophobic n like, say 'gay ppl r sinners' n shes like 'wait.. am i a sinner?' n cries

chan rlly struggled making friends as a kid because she thought no one would like her since her parents never came to events or really were ever seen by her peers and how she was still trying to mask her adhd but being a kid, she struggled with that stuff n only got popular when being mature was cool and she could mask better

chans rlly clingy with the heathers (a lot more if she dates any of them or ronnie) cuz her parents didnt rlly lile, give her hugs so she gotta get lots to fill in for the ones she didnt get as a child

tw sh/suicide implied ghost heather followed veronica everywhere, when she found out what happened to mcnamara, she cried to veronica the whole afternoon, sure they couldnt touch but heather floated right above veronica for comfort, she was upset with duke but she missed both of them

tw sorta parent neglect her parents never paid attention because they wanted a boy, not a girl, if it was a boy theyd show average yet minimal love but being a girl, she got the bare minimum, she felt unloved and like she wasnt good enough, she thought of being a boy to make them happy but they were transphobic and later on she found out she liked girls in a gay way so

tw sa mention she gets a couple bruises from david sometimes, but once she got a full on scar from him, her puffy curly hair hides it but she has a scar on the back of her head from him being a tad too rough

tw sa/r@p3 when chan was 14 she met david at that years prom, he was 17 and for her she was like "ok i think hes my age and dad wants me to have a bf so i should try" even tho she was crushing on a girl, he took her home and got her drunk to sa her but he like, said he was allowed to? and shes sorta gone back to drinking after to cope and stuff also she struggles taking and accepting compliments esp on things david would say things like (tw implied sa) "your hair is so sexy to pull" or "such pretty lips, taking me so well" she'd think someone complimenting those things would mean they were thinking the same he was and planned on doing the same, some ppl have exceptions like heather n heather

tw's over, she hides it a lot but she's slightly chubby but always wears something tight to conceal is, she rlly doesnt like her body but she forces herself to get over it anyway because people would get upset if the demon queen herself was insecure shes a TERRIBLE cook, she burns almost anything she makes somehow dont ask how she just does, something she likes doing is cooking but she jst cant without burning the whole kitchen down chan HATES her grandma cuz shes one of those rlly old christian asf people that nag and nag and whenever you go over shes extremely touchy, chans very picky on who she allows to touch her and her grandma is NOT pne of those people, if shes forced to go she just plays with her nans cat she acts all tough but she has really bad sensory issues (massive projection but shhhhh) the happy ending, david broke up with heather when she turned 18 because hes a creep like that and she finally decides to go to therapy after it all, she realizes she was hella groomed but shes still so scared of him and keeps his identity secret, she finally sees shes allowed to be gay and comes out to her friends only she squeaks/whines slightly when she stretches you cant convince me otherwise once after a party (n david touched her) she didnt bring her car so she walked to dukes house and threw up on her carpet, dukes mum was awake and helped take care of her just so she could go back to bed, chan had a killer hangover in the morning and cuddled with duke all day shes really bad at spelling like REALLY bad gets either C- or D- on her spelling/vocab tests she naturally has really soft skin/hands n loves holding heather and heathers hands and being complimented on it, but a massive downside is she bruises super easily, sometimes she'll wake up with random bruises and have no idea where they came from this ones just a random au but i think its really silly, chandler survived because they actually called 911 in time and they saved her, she is forced to go mute due to the drain cleaner damaging her vocal cords to no repair, shes now forced into therapy and gets the rest of the school year off to recover, she has a few bandages and plasters from falling through the glass table, some not needing to last long but a few turning into scars, she has constant throat pain and veronica feels really guilty, she tries making it up to her but chandler cant ever bring herself to forgive or talk to her, she SO wouldve snitched but jd threatened mac n dukes safety for her to stay quiet, shes struggling to cope n wishes she just did die so she didnt have this pain continuing on the earlier insomnia hc, if she can actually get herself to sleep she can get rlly bad nightmares and have no idea where they came from (AHEM PROJECTION AHEM AHEM) n some nights she'll call one of the heathers crying at like 2am and be like "heather i had a bad dream :(((" I HAVE SM MORE BUT I DONT WANNA MAKE U READ TOO MUCH

HAPPY LESBIAN COMING OUT DAY!! @heathermcnamara1989 @therealheatherc @ask-veronica-sawyerr @norwegian-in-the-boiler-room @ask-the-younger-sawyer @thx-tiniest-lifeb0at @unnamed-freshmen-official @westerbergs-therapist @heatherdukesblazer @stonxr-chick

EVERYONE SAY CONGRATULATIONS TO HEATHER CHANDLER FOR BEING A HUGE LESBIAN!

Drop by my house too we have cake and decorations and we’ll be crashing a remington party if Heather Chandler doesn’t come

[wayfinderships]

Saw this one post that was like "imagine your f/o" and it involved being called "kitten" and ew ew Nope ew-