#But y'know. I'm not gonna actually write it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
lemonnbug · 7 months ago
Text
A poem titled My Father Died Again Today where I describe every time someone gets rid of or changes something that was my dad's or reminded me of him
16 notes · View notes
Text
Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.
Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.
I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.
However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.
You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.
Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!
That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.
This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.
They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.
One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.
Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.
Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.
However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.
Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.
Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.
Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.
After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."
When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.
Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.
After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.
When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.
They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.
Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.
What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.
Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?
So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.
Actually, let's talk about that a little more.
In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.
An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.
On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.
These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.
The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 
Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.
Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”
Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  
This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.
Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 
Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 
But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.
Except it’s really not.
Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.
Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 
Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 
He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 
That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 
By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.
They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 
People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 
We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.
Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 
While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."
That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 
There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”
In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 
The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 
It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 
All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 
I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 
There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–
Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?
Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 
You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 
I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…
And that makes me fucking feral. 
But I'm also so normal about it.
As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 
Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 
Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 
I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 
I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 
Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.
It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.
Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 
This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 
If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 
Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 
But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 
And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 
Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.
Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.
This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.
AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.
When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"
AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."
If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"
If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"
The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!
When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"
AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"
If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"
And there it is.
Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.
This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.
Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"
Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."
As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."
"So you're mad, but sad."
"Can I be that for a while?"
And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.
Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.
Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.
After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.
The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.
It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."
Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.
One is not good and the other bad. They're different.
There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!
That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."
Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.
There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.
I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!
I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.
I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"
So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.
I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.
77 notes · View notes
deadhearthotline · 11 months ago
Text
watched World Tour a week ago + finally caved in
Tumblr media
what can i say. i love him. he's been swimming circles in my head since i saw him
84 notes · View notes
generic-sonic-fan · 1 month ago
Text
hehehe have a snippet of the beginning of the Blaze x Omega fic for you all
---
Blaze visited Sonic’s world even when she wasn’t needed, meaning that it was more often than she would care to admit. 
It became a secret indulgence- the words slipped out of her mouth so easily these days. I’m sorry, but the Guardian of the Chaos Emeralds requires me, she’d tell her advisors when nothing immediately pressing was occurring in the Sol Kingdom.
But now, as her flames danced around her, the fury of her soul expressing itself in its purest form, she couldn’t find it within herself to feel guilty. 
The timing of this visit was rather poor- there was no actual impending crisis, so Sonic wasn’t around. Instead, his brother Tails had awkwardly pointed her towards some of Sonic’s other allies who were set to attack one of Eggman’s strategic positions today. 
Shadow the Hedgehog teleported alongside of her and, with a crisp bolt of chaos energy, blasted the remaining robot in the room that she had not yet scalded. He let out a strange ‘hmph’, something vaguely triumphant-sounding, as the metal scrap fell to the floor. Then he teleported off again, likely somewhere deeper within the facility, racing ahead of her as if they were playing in some imaginary competition that he was obsessed with winning. 
Blaze looked back to the entry doorway to see Rouge the Bat fly in and, instead of continuing down the path Blaze had just cleared with her flames, made for the circulation vent in the ceiling above.
“Where are you going?” Blaze shouted.
Rouge only hesitated for a second. “Don’t worry your pretty little head, princess.” 
Blaze crossed her arms and exhaled, smoke billowing out of her nostrils. Some ‘team’ this was. By the time she looked back, Rouge was already gone. Blaze was alone, surrounded by scrap. 
She tried to remember the actual objective of the mission from the oh-so-short mission briefing. No doubt Shadow knew it, but of course he wasn’t here right now and didn’t seem keen on being followed. Blaze looked around the room to find three doors. She picked one and ran to it. 
The door controls were locked, and a quick few taps on the armored plating allowed her to guess the temperature required for her to make her own entrance. She called on the flames within her, fueling them with her own breath and her rage, before shoving her hands against the metal. 
In an instant, the metal boiled, then vaporized. She pulled her palms apart, sending the scalding metal shards to the sides. Then, with a clench of her fist, she cooled the white-hot metal back down to gray so that she could pass through the new entrance to the halls beyond. 
“YOU BURN THINGS VERY WELL!”
Blaze whipped around and extended her fist, ready to blow a ball of flame towards the source of the robotic voice, before recognition stayed her hand. For his credit, E-123 Omega did not seem surprised by the near barrage.
“AND WITH ACCURACY, IN ADDITION!” 
18 notes · View notes
front-facing-pokemon · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
129 notes · View notes
seventh-district · 2 days ago
Text
7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
12 notes · View notes
xiii-e · 10 days ago
Text
//ooc posting: I NEED to find more fun/silly things to do with my two they are Not meant to be all agony all the time I swear- I just have a penchant for the dramatic and they're a little in the torment nexus o(-< but on god they will Have Fun too
#//ooc#even in the torment nexus there's spots of brightness!! I need to start playing with them too I'm not a grimdark writer I swear!!#I have ideas for softer bits and pieces. sibling stuff. cute things. I will get to it somehow hell or high water o7#T-E purrs!! they can do that!! it's part of their genetic alterations and I want to play with that too as well as the horrors!!#now don't get me wrong either The Horrors are one of my fav things to write but it's chiaroscuro y'know you need the contrast#it can't be a fight for personal autonomy all the time sometimes it needs to be T-E's huge kitty eyes or Helios being a dork#all this might be unnecessary I just get a little self conscious sometimes about how full-grit my writing can be wehh#holding my creatures in my hands. they are capable of such a beautiful joy. it's actually vital that they are#since I'm rambling anyways: huge part of what I want to do with T-E's pre campaign rp is start pulling them out of their shell#they start the planned game still stuck on their rules but it's talking to people that's gonna put them in a place where like#they know there's something else out there. they want it. they feel so much guilt for wanting it but it's the WANTING that's important!!#helios can't do that on his own because he doesn't know either. neither of them know jack about what exists beyond their narrow purview#making a HA clone to me is in part an examination of how miitary as industry will always result in steadily increasing dehumanisation#it's the commodification of a human body to ever increasing heights. soldiers to products to nothing but parts to be scrapped#military as an endless churn less for the sake of any kind of protection and more for the sake of resources. capital. money#it's part of what makes HA so fascinating to me y'know? the way it takes that concept to a far flung conclusion. how bad can it get#the other part is playing someone realising for the first time it's possible to break from what's expected of them#the wonder. the guilt. the disbelief. all of it carefully hidden. it's a huge part of what's so compelling about writing them to me#three huge cornerstones of T-E are: masking - military - the horror of having to exist in a body.#that last one is my taking the weird sensory relationship I have to Flesh/mind and doing horror with it dw too much about that njbkhjv#okay okay I think I'm done this got a little out of hand I'm just like#there's so MUCH about thirteen/T-E that makes me insane. alas I'm tired and it takes me like 4 hours to write a simple post sobs#anywaysss that's my ramble. I like them#helios too I like him. guy absolutely dead set on finding reasons to smile amidst the Horror
7 notes · View notes
keylovesstuff · 7 months ago
Text
I give you guys this :)
AO3
FFN
Little Events Chapter 4: Proposals
"So when are we going to get married?" Bowser asked her five minutes into silence after everyone left the meeting room.
Water mixed with spit flew an impressive fifteen inches across the table hitting him directly in his face. The Koopa King blew the little water from his nostrils while the rest dripped down his face. It took a good ten seconds for Peach to finally catch her breath and another five to compose herself while repositioning her crown upon her head. 
"Excuse me, but one you never proposed, two I never said yes, and three are there not specific courting customs you have to follow?" Peach asked while listing off each statement one gloved finger at a time.
"Fine." Bowser huffed standing and making his way over to her seat. Peach turned her body to face him once he was in front of her. Taking her hand in his giant one bending down on one knee. "Peaches, from the moment we first met, I knew you were the one that I wanted to spend my entire life beside. You're already such an amazing leader and together we would be the best rulers in the world. With that accept my hand in marriage." He finished giving her his best dreamy eyes.
Peach was certain she was blushing out of embarrassment as she quickly pulled away and straightened up the papers on the table.
"I wasn't being serious and what kind of proposal was that? It wasn't even romantic." She pouted gathering up today's materials and started towards her office. The Koopa King followed behind.
"We both have a different view of what a 'romantic' proposal entails." Bowser grumbled under his breath looking at all the free space along the walls. "I've been saying you should add more portraits or at least some mirrors. How's a guy supposed to admire their own handsomeness or their leader when I'm here?" He commented for the umpteenth time.
Other than a slight chuckle, Peach carried on towards her office. Another thing both Bowser and her Advisor Toadsworth shared similar opinions on. It wasn't so much as she didn't think she was pretty- far from it actually but, that doesn't mean she wants a portrait or her own reflection 'staring' as she went about her day. Lone stone statues and having his entire face sculpted into his castle may work for him but not for her. The thought of having to sit perfectly still for almost eight hours dissuaded her from wanting any portraits done. While the glass stained portrait displayed outside was nice, she did not miss that numb feeling in her butt just for them to get the perfect reference. Peach was thinking that if any pictures were to go on the walls, landscapes of the world's natural beauty would be nice.
Peach supposed that once she starts traveling to other kingdoms she'd find some lovely sights that she'd want to look at again even if she could only visit once. She entered her office to place the papers on the desk to look over at a later time while Bowser waited outside.
"I got some other things to attend to so I'm going to be leaving here in a bit. Is there anything else in that pile I need to sign or something" Bowser asked from outside the room. 
Peach hummed and quickly skimmed through the paperwork she just placed down and hummed softly.
"No you're all good. Thanks for fitting this meeting into your schedule. I know you hate how early they are." She told him, while closing the door "I'll accompany you to the pipe if you'd like" she offered and he just nodded. 
"Least you can do after you rejected my proposal earlier." Bowser finally said after they walked in silence for a few minutes. 
Peach continued but was at a loss of words. Was he really that hurt by her rejection? Was he really that serious with his proposal? Maybe that was the most 'romantic' he could be and her expectations were either too high or unrealistic given that the most she knows about romance comes from books. Bowser was from the darklands and similar to her, didn't have anyone to look to on how being in love looked. She has her doubts that Kamek had little time for a personal life of his own with being at his lord's beck and call, much less giving him advice about it. Toadsworth himself never went into much about his romantic life only going as far as to say at one point he was involved with some ambassador in training but they broke up mutually.
To her memory Toadsworth never actually pursued anyone else in their community either. When Peach was young she did question him every now and then about wanting a partner, only for him to brush it off and sweetly tell her that he'd wish to put all his energy into raising her. Younger Peach enjoyed hearing those words then but now she wished he took time to focus on himself outside of her but, he doesn't seem all that bothered she guessed. The princess had to stifle a chuckle once she realized she hadn't responded to Bowser's comment.  Even after knowing him for all these years, Peach still viewed him as her very much self-absorbed friend that would occasionally offer some good advice when it comes to being in power. While she didn't take all his advice to heart, she couldn't argue with the fact that it worked for him when she visited his Kingdom. That didn't mean she could see herself being by his side for the rest of her life.
They made it to the pipe before she finally found something to say.
"So um, exactly when and how did you know that you loved me to the point that you were thinking about marrying me?" Peach turned red again in embarrassment after structuring the question in the best way. Bowser stared at her silent for what seemed like the longest two minutes. She found an interesting spot on the ground and was about to tell him to forget about it till he finally spoke up.
"Guess I just see you as a worthy leader to be with considering how far this place has come in just half a year into you taking power. Already better than other kingdoms that've been operating for years. That and I can never have too much territory and this place is huge and of course having you as my Queen would grant me access to that. What are you thinking about saying yes?" He finished with a wiggle of his bushy eyebrows.
Peach gave a sigh of relief inwardly. There was no sort of love confession in what he had said which would make what she had to say next a little more easier. 
"Not exactly. I feel like I still have so much to do as a leader on my own. I really do appreciate all you've done to help me get this far but, I think I want to see more of what other places have to offer before I even think about marriage I guess" she finished with a bow.
"Hmm on your own...I see" Bowser regarded her words with claws on his chin. 
The way he repeated her own words sent a sort of strange feeling down her spine but Peach shook it off. Maybe due to nerves of having to admit that out loud and not having a clue on where to start to make it happen. Again the silence lingered on for far longer than she was comfortable with as he stepped onto the pipe.
"No choice but to sit back and see what you do Princess Peach," Bowser finally concluded. "When you feel like you're in that position make sure to consider what I've said. I do trust you'll make the right decision as it's much better to have me as an ally than an enemy" he added, smiling proudly to himself as he saw her gulp.
"Of course Lord Bowser. Please take care and I look forward to our next visit, where you'll hopefully start accompanying me to other kingdoms?" Peach reminded him of his promise to hopefully end this conversation on a positive note.
"Sure. I'll write or come visit you when I can so we can set up some days. I'm pretty sure that old man and that excuse you call a council would insist on being in attendance" mouth frowned in disdain when he mentioned her people. She chose not to acknowledge it.
"I'll look forward to it," Peach said, waving him off as he disappeared down the pipe. 
As she was heading back to the castle to carry out the rest of her appointments and for the remainder of the day, Bowser's words and the idea of marriage played throughout her mind. For the first time since her coronation, she was thinking about all the other responsibilities that came with being a leader.
The sun had already set for the day and Peach found herself in her office chair reviewing notes written by both herself and council along with documents from  today. She could feel her eyelids getting heavy and brain turning into mush as she tried to process the words enough to know where to properly sort them in the drawers behind her. A long yawn filled the otherwise silent room and in that moment she looked up at the clock and it was about a half an hour till 12am. The first obligation scheduled for the day was set for seven. With a groan she contemplated on just leaving everything sprawled out on the desk and just calling it a night. A small laugh found its way out of her mouth as she could practically hear Toadsworth saying that he taught her to make sure all her areas were left spotless when she leaves. Gathering up the last little bit of her energy, Peach willed herself into finally sorting the papers and the thoughts from earlier bought her Advisor outside of her door with a knock.
At her words of 'come in' the door opened and in walked Toadsworth dressed in  lavender striped nightshirt,  matching night hat atop his cap, and white slippers instead of his usual attire with his signature bowtie. 
"Time management needs to get better my dear Princess. This is the fifth time this month I've found you in here at an unruly hour" He tsked and set to work organizing the writing materials on the desk and then her papers. 
Peach watched as with just a five to ten second glance he knew the correct place to file it for later, Truly earning his place as being her most trusted advisor. He's always been there to listen to her concerns and give her good advice whenever she found herself too much in her head.
"I guess I was just a little distracted by something today and it's taking me a while to get this stuff done" she told him, moving to help with the other stuff.
"Oh? Perhaps you'd like to discuss? It may help to ease your mind." He offered before gasping suddenly at the sight the untouched tray of food. "Before we get to that you need to eat your dinner" confirming his suspicions he lifted up the lid. 
With a quick promise of returning he grabbed the tray and left the office. Peach finished sorting the remaining papers. By the time she placed the last piece away, Toadsworth returned with the now warmed meal. She was a few bites into her grilled cheep fish sandwich before the toad seated across urged her to share what was on her mind.
"What do you think about the idea of me getting married to someone someday?" she asked him finding the right way to phrase it. 
Immediately Toadsworth eyes glanced to both her hands for an extravagant ring on her finger. He put his hand over his chest to ease slow down his heartbeat when he realized she hadn't rushed into a commitment like that without talking to him first.
"Well of course I want you to find someone that you're so infatuated with to want to spend the rest of your life with." He told her and took a sip of tea he bought up earlier. "As a matter of fact...I should probably apologize for not allowing you to interact with people more like you despite them being a pipe away" he added, setting the cup down and looking at nothing on her desk.
To an extent she understood where he was coming from but, on the other hand she couldn't remember a time growing up where she wanted to be around other humans. Then again from the time she turned nine after a normal school day she was immediately thrusted into formal leadership teachings so where did she have time to really think about it. In conclusion, Peach thought that she couldn't quite miss or be bitter about something she never had an association with in the first place.
"There's no need to apologize about that Toadsworth" she started and reached out for his hand. Toadsworth grabbed it, giving it a squeeze. "I don't think it matters how a person looks so much as their personality and how they are when it comes to ruling." Peach finished with a smile.
"If you say so my dear" Toadsworth patted her hand with his other hand and returned her smile with his own best. 
Hearing that made him feel a bit better but, he'd be lying to himself if he didn't think he could've done better as her guardian. Sure Peach has turned out to be an amazing young lady and while she still had a lot more growing to do, he was proud at just how good of a leader she is now. Toadsworth did wonder just how much if any of her mental has been affected by not being around humans and wasn't sure if he was ready to face it should the time come.
"You must be in love if you're asking questions about marriage. Am I right?" He asked to get them back to the topic at hand. Now thinking and hoping that it's not about the Koopa King after what she said earlier. Saying she fell for one of the toad guards would've been better if he was honest.
"Not exactly" she started not acknowledging the look of relief on his face. 'What was he thinking she was going to say?' It was probably better she didn't know so she just carried on. "I was looking up other reasons that people, well mostly royalty get married and it's not always about love" she shared this most recent discovery with him but if she thought about it he probably already knew that fact.
"I guess I understand that. What pushed you to look into all that Princess" he urged her to continue. Peach gathered her thoughts for some moments and took a deep breath before speaking.
"Well why I don't think I like Bowser in that way, his influence as an ally has proven to be good. Mmm I guess if there's a permanent engagement in place  especially when it comes to the safety of everyone. If that's taken care of well then I guess I could learn to love him or anyone for that matter later" Peach told him and then felt unconfident about it seconds later "I'm sorry does that make any sense? I fear it doesn't." She said turning away to focus on the wall.
"I see where you might have come to that conclusion. I do want to assure you that as you will never have to make a decision like that alone and if you feel you need to I would hope you address that with the council or me first." He told her sternly and only continued when she gave him a nod. "Furthermore, as the people who have cared for you from the time you were little, your happiness means the most to us and while other kingdoms have their own rules set in place, here you will marry who you love ok." Again she nodded to show that she was still listening to him. "Finally if it's the peoples safety that really pushes you to go forward with something like that, then we'll give us time to show you that we can adapt and find ways to be strong ourselves." He finished but felt it necessary to add the next point. "We trust you so you have to trust us."
While Toadsworth wanted to follow that up with he'd be fine with her marrying anyone that wasn't Bowser, he didn't want to sound like an immediate hypocrite should she genuinely fall for him in the future. Though he'd have to see a serious change in that reptile to even consider him someone worthy of respect other than having the obvious title.
Peach could feel a burning sting prick the corners of her eyes while processing his words. In some part of her mind she knew that but it hit so much harder hearing come out of his mouth. It probably was because it came from Toadsworth but she also knew everyone would also say the same thing. With that she gathered the strength to get up from her seat, walk around the desk, and wrap her arms around his neck. Only feeling him return with the same gesture did she speak.
"Thank you Toadsworth" she said as a happy tear streaked down her cheek.
_______
Three weeks later Peach found herself in the throne room and felt another headache coming along as one of the Toad gave the same report since the first day. Part of her alliance with Bowser included sending some of his minions to do border control once dark rolls around, while other Toads patrolled during the day. There hasn't exactly been anything seen to warrant having such a thing in place but it was better to be safe than sorry.  However as of late, Koopa Troops and Goombas haven't been showing up to their posts to alleviate them leaving the toads to pull all-nighters to ensure the safety of the citizens. After the third night, Peach ordered them to return home to rest and just return by the time night falls since that's more important. The Princess has written several letters to the Koopa King about this but hasn't heard anything back yet. She even checked her document from the last meeting with him to make sure everything was still the same and sure enough his signature was there at the end of the paper.
Rubbing the temples of her head she told the reporter Toad to once again tell the others along the borders to return home to rest and return to their post by the time the moon enters the sky. Before he left to do exactly that, the toad left her with one more thing to know about. Power-ups only exclusive to the darklands she found really helped toads with certain tasks and vice versa when it came to the mushroom kingdom. Well the toads who normally handle all the imports and exports hadn't heard from the Koopa's King's people and their scheduled date was closing in. Peach assured him that she'll take care of everything with a smile as he took his exit.  She concluded that if she couldn't get a hold of Bowser via letters, she'd just have to pay him a visit in person to see what was going on. If the darklands was dealing with problems of its own, she'd hate to selfishly make it about her own Kingdom's needs and would provide support if she could.
All she gathered from her visit was that 1. The Darklands was doing just fine as the inhabitants went about their daily happy lives, at least by the kingdom's standards. 2. All the guards that normally took the border work at night were also in good shape. That didn't mean they were these past weeks she had to tell herself but also had some doubts.  Finally 3. Bowser was doing just fine and reading her letters as well. Rather he really was there or not, Peach wasn't gonna keep bombarding Kamek with questions. The magikoopa did tell her that it was under Bowser's direct order that the citizens weren't allowed to leave the darklands under any circumstance until he said otherwise. At least she got an answer for their lack of attendance the past three weeks. She just told him to tell the Koopa King to get back at her when he could, to which the wizard assured her he'd pass the message. 
Another three weeks went by and she still hadn't heard from Bowser in any form be it letters or in person. What she was expecting to see on her daily strolls through the town was her people barely managing to get through the day. Instead what she saw was the toads going on as normal, chatting about the usual topics, and smiling. The toads on border control took it amongst themselves to get back on a similar schedule where some would take the daytime and others would take the night, switching it up every now and then. Even though she saw it with her own eyes her mind just couldn't accept that everything was just fine. One day after everything was taken care of she found herself in Toadsworth office silently sitting there as the advisor did some calculations. It was silent for just a few more minutes before she finally decided to speak.
"Am I being tricked by everyone?" She asked him. Earning a questioning look from the mustached Toad. "It's just that everyone seems okay but are they really okay? Or are they just acting like they are when I come around?" She tried to get him to see what she was getting at. He was still very much confused.
"I don't believe your people would try to deceive you in that way Princess. More or less how would they be able to hide their suffering from you with a snap of the finger." Toadsworth said, trying to get her to logically think about the first question.
"Well I have developed a routine of visiting the town. Perhaps they've caught on to it and spend those hours in good spirits when I come around?" Peach reasoned with him and even she could admit to herself that that didn't make any sense.
"Or perhaps everyone really is just doing good. My dear we've always had a knack for finding ways to manage things on our own together. So even if we don't have what we're used to, guarantee we've found a way to do it ourselves." He finished that last part with a chuckle though that didn't reach Peach.
"If you say so. I'm going to pay another visit and see how it goes. Maybe I'll get somewhere this time." Peach told him,  getting up and heading towards the door.
"Of course Princess. Be sure to return at a decent time. I'll be waiting" Toadsworth promised her, returning to his calculations. 
Who was he to stop her or be the one to say her visits would be futile. Part of being a leader meant she had to face some things head on and see people's true colors. Even after all these years.
This visit was already off to a better start than the last as she caught Bowser returning to the castle. The King insisted that he wasn't in the mood for a visit but she explained that it wouldn't take long. Much to his annoyance he agreed and she waited alone in his throne room for a good ten minutes till he came in and sat down. No more than five seconds of silence Bowser snapped.
"Well...you said this would be quick...start talking" he snarled. A brief smirk of satisfaction crossed his face when Peach flinched in place and she stuttered a few words.
"Well to start I just wanted to know if our alliance still holds any weight? As of lately I haven't seen you hold your end and I've been wondering if somethings wrong." Peach told him once she remembered how to form words.
"I don't know...Depends Princess. What have you learned about doing it all on your own?" Head in hand he looked down at her from his spot on the throne.
At that moment everything seemed to come together and to say she was angry was an understatement. She was outright furious to find out the reason for him acting like this for the past two months was because of a small thing she said. It took everything she had in that moment not to blow up on him. Instead she took a deep breath and told herself that to some degree she had to placate the King if she wanted to see some semblance of normalcy return to her kingdom.
"While for certain I don't want to get married anytime soon...I'll still keep you in mind as a potential suitor." She gauged his reaction to see him looking quite impressed. "I do know that having your help makes it easier on my people's lives. So at your earliest convenience could we get everything back in place. It would be appreciated." She finished with a bow of her head.
With how long it took him to finally speak up, she was starting to feel like he'd just dismiss on the spot. Peach wasn't sure what she would've done if that happened. Would she have begged on the spot or even say she'd marry him the next day. Luckily neither of those options happened.
"I hear you. Tell your people to expect my minion's to contact them and be at their place by tomorrow." He waved a hand. Peach looked up at him and smiled finally hearing what she wanted. Already picturing everything returning to normal. "One more thing I still have some things to take care of but in about two months at most I'll start taking you to other Kingdoms so be prepared" He added.
"I will. Thank you" with one more bow she turned to take her exit.
Bowser stayed true to his word and only for the first time in weeks did she feel more at peace seeing the toads resume their daily routines. To the best of her abilities, Peach tried to tune out the voice in her mind along with Toadsworth's verbal and knowing look saying 'Everyone was fine all along'. While ignoring her was mostly intentional on his part, he really did have other obligations that came with his title. He reached the age and maturity where it was time to produce an heir and there was responsibility that came with keeping the bloodline as pure as possible. That intrigued Peach if only for the mere fact that she would one day be able to see a baby Koopa. Nothing could ever compare to baby toads though in her own biased opinion but it could come close. There was also the bonus of seeing papa Bowser in which she could barely contain a giggle every time she thought about it much to his annoyance.
Within the next year she was introduced to a variety of rulers who were mostly older than them. Peach found that leaders whose kingdom's were closer to her own home, were easier to make connections with. The leaders whose kingdoms were more shrouded in darkness and mystery, gave her a more unsettling feeling if she was honest. From the domain full of Ghosts who's tragic stories she'd rather not know about to a literal bomb that would probably explode over anything, she thought it'd be best to prevent any problems before they present themselves. There was no amount of asking to convince Bowser to take her to the jungle kingdom. Something about reptiles not mixing well with apes and he also couldn't stand the crocodile king that resided there. She'd just have to visit herself one day to see just how advanced it was.
Sarasland was another kingdom she wanted to see if only for the chance to meet someone around her age. Name and reputation alone wasn't enough to get an audience. The leaders had to get together and send a personal invitation and the qualifications for that weren't so straightforward. Peach would keep her fingers crossed that she would one day receive a summon. Bowser ended up taking her to the neighboring flower kingdom and while he didn't have many good things to say about it or their people, she did. That was made possible by interacting with their Prince by the name Haru. The moment she first sputtered out how pretty she thought his cerulean hair was, sparked the first of their conversations.
While the council and surprisingly Toadsworth left to tour a separate part of the kingdom, Haru took her on a quiet walk in their castle garden. There was the back and forth that comes with meeting with someone for the first time but, Peach was really surprised with how comfortable and natural they fell into conversation. Together they sat on one of the benches as he handed her a flower and complimenting her appearance for the second time, whatever was going to happen next was interrupted by Bowser showing up finally finding where she disappeared off to. That caused an almost comical misunderstanding of Haru assuming the two were engaged and he was overstepping in some way. Until Peach explained that was far from the truth, much to the anger on Bowser's face. They all said their goodbyes and just as they were about to depart Haru stopped her with a piece of paper. Said paper contained his castle address and insignia.
The added comment of hoping to hear from her soon started the two months of communicating with each other via letters. There were many days after completing her daily tasks where she'd spent time writing just to make sure it was ready for the deliverer by morning. Two days ago he had invited her to the flower kingdom to show her how to drive a motorbike, as enthusiastically as possible through words she accepted the offer. Toadsworth and a few members of the council escorted her to the kingdom and while they carried on with the scheduled meeting, Haru took her to the location of his bike. Now she stood there in traditional toad clothing she hadn't worn in forever since her dress wasn't appropriate attire for this activity, while Haru did a final once over on the bike.
"Ready to go Princess? Feel free to climb on" He told her after getting on the vehicle himself. 
There's only one seat she rationalized with one look. Was she just supposed to sit behind him? Would it be more appropriate or safe if she just sat sideways on the bike and held on to him that way? Wait, could she just wrap her arms around him? In the midst of her asking those questions to herself, a hand was guiding her to sit down on the back behind him. Haru assured her that he didn't mind her holding onto him as a matter of fact he'd prefer it cause he has a habit of going fast. That didn't stop his ears from turning red and stiffening a little under her touch.
Before taking off he passed her a gray helmet with the promise of getting her a pink one for next time. It was her turn to blush as she slid it on to hide her cheeks at just the very comment of him wanting to do this again with her. They took off and through the face shield, Peach watched as the scenery sped by. Of course she enjoyed calm and slow walks but, there was something more freeing that came from riding. They made it to a more open area and that's when they both got off the bike and he started explaining how everything worked. The Prince told her to try it for herself and maybe it was due to beginners' luck, but she caught on pretty easily for it to be her first time. By herself she remained cool and collected but, as soon as he hopped back on and held onto her waist it was a different story.
Peach was braking the bike excessively, swaying side to side, or going too fast one moment and too slow the next. The most embarrassing thing had also happened when she suddenly popped a wheelie. She was certain Haru had lost his hand but not sure why but one moment he was right behind her and the next he was on the ground. Of course she stopped immediately turning off the bike, rushing to his side, and apologizing profusely while helping him up and checking for any injuries. After that he proposed that they take a break and just admire the clouds, it was a beautiful day afterall. They laid on the soft grass together shoulder to shoulder, the smallest distance together they've been today. They made small talk pointing out the shapes of the clouds first to other random stuff before they somehow got on to the topic of families.
"Does it ever bother you that you don't know where you're from? Or that you don't know who your parents are?" He asked her hoping it wasn't a touchy subject. She hummed thoughtfully.
"Not really. I mean I've lived with the toads for so long that I can't say for certain I'd feel any different from knowing anything if that makes sense." She truthfully answered.
Peach knew for as long as she lived, she would always regard the toads as her true family seeing as they've always been there. She couldn't imagine how different her life would be now if she had ended up somewhere else or even stayed with her original family.
"I'm just really happy where I am now in life where I've come across many people now and am just looking forward to what the future has in store" Peach finished sitting up. Haru followed the motion.
"That's a nice way to think about it. I guess we wouldn't be sitting here together now if you never ended up here." He said putting his arms on his knees. "I hope that I can be more a part of your future," he added, facing away to hide the blood rising to his cheeks.
"Hmm well you're an ally of ours now. Of course you're going to be a part of that future." Peach told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. When he snorted covering his mouth she couldn't help but think that something in what he just said went over her head. "What are you laughing about?" She pouted and it took him a minute to gather himself.
"True but, that wasn't entirely what I meant about being in your future" this time putting more emphasis on the word 'your' hoping it would come across differently this time around. Peach still had a slight look of confusion on her face. "Here um, if you would allow me..." He turned, repositioning his body to face her prompting her to do the same with her head.
As quickly as it all started it was over. One moment he had a hand on her cheek pulling her to him. Soft lips pressed against hers for several seconds. Before she had time to process returning the action, he was pulling away standing up and offering his hand. Haru apologized and told her they should probably head back as the meeting was probably done by now. Peach was speechless during the entire exchange unsure what had gotten into him. The ride back was just as quiet and slow as if he still wanted to prolong the time to the destination. He bid her farewell after taking her to the castle's meeting room, not waiting around to do the same with the others.
They went two weeks after that going about their daily routines minus writing letters. Well Peach herself didn't entirely stop writing them. After finishing them, she couldn't find the confidence to actually pass it along to the messenger. By day sixteen her drawer was almost filled to the brim of unsent papers. Toadsworth noticed the change and had asked her about it, but she convinced him that it was nothing. When deliveries came around the next day, there was a letter from Haru and just as she got her hopes up, it depleted upon seeing it was addressed to Toadsworth. Apparently Haru had matters that he could only talk to her advisor about, is all Toadsworth said.
Peach couldn't help but feel a little anger towards Haru. From kissing her, to ignoring her, and now requesting to meet with her advisor of all people, could he not talk to his own people. For once she actually envied Toadsworth's age and life experience that made people want to seek him out for advice. She had half the mind to order him to write a letter declining cause if he can't talk to her, why should he be able to talk to Toadsworth. Curiosity got the best of her though and even she said not to, Toadsworth probably wouldn't listen without a valid reason. So as planned, Haru arrived to meet with Toadsworth and had the audacity to smile and wave in her direction. Having other places to be, she said her farewells to Toadsworth and went on her way before he had a chance to lecture her about the rude behavior.
A couple hours went by and she had almost forgot he was here till she stepped outside her office to see him standing there. Part of her was happy that he decided to stick around for a while. Then she remembered why he initially visited and did an entire mood change.
"I suppose now that your business with Toadsworth is taken care of you'll be taking your leave?" Peach asked him, keeping a formal tone. 
"Well I should, but I have no other obligations and I really wanted to talk to you." He said walking up to her. "That is if you want to," he added.
"Sure I guess" she said, not bothering to fight back the smile on her own face as he gave his own. She fell in line beside him as they made their way outside the castle. 
"I want to say that while I don't apologize for kissing you, I do want to apologize for not following the procedures in order to do that in the first place." He started turning to look at her. "It's actually why I wanted to talk to Toadsworth and your council to see if I could fix things if you will." He stopped  there to allow her time to process what he was saying.
"Fix things cause you kissed me? I'm sorry but I'm a little confused." She said inviting him to elaborate.
"Well I guess what I want to do is enter a courting arrangement with you." He said finally getting to the point "I figured it'd be best if I got Toadsworth's permission and I also wanted to ensure that there weren't any other plans for you in that regard" That last part made her remember their first encounter when Bowser had shown up.
"Oh well what did he say?" She was curious now. It had been awhile since they had discussed that aspect of her life and wasn't sure if anything had changed.
"He said that he had no problems with it but, in the end the choice is up to you" he repeated her stewards words "said your happiness is what's most important...so would that be something you want to do be in with me?" and with that he stopped in place as they made it outside the town reaching his bike.
"Sounds like him" she smiled in relief before noticing how he'd become a bit fidgety as she hadn't answered the question. "Oh yes sure let's try it" Peach made a move to hold his hands in her own.
"Really? Okay then gosh, we'll then I'm going to try and see you more often if that's alright with you." Haru stammered over his own words in excitement moving in to close the distance. "Would it be alright if I kiss you now? as official partners"  He asked leaning in when she nodded yes.
"It sounds like the discussion didn't take long. I know Toadsworth can talk a lot though but still two hours? I hope I didn't keep you waiting that long outside" she said after they had pulled apart and he started to get settled on his bike.
"I want to say we talked for a good hour about the relationship thing with you. There was so much he had to say." Haru was remembering every last word from the conversation. "I wanted to come to you right away after that but, he said I should allow you to focus on work and so for the remainder of the time we spent it playing a few rounds of mahjong. In the end it was 0-5 in his favor. " He feigned annoyance at having to admit that and smiled when that got a laugh out of Peach.
"You'll get him one day I believe. If it makes you feel better, I'm 109-10 and those were pity wins because it was my birthday" she said, waving him off as he drove off.
For the next few months when either had downtime they would visit the other's kingdom. More often than not Haru, would be at the mushroom kingdom or either picking her up to take her to the flower kingdom to spend time there. They returned to writing letters to each other everyday and while it was mostly about stuff they talked about before, some of the letters took on different turns on both their parts. The content that some of the letters contained had Peach double checking the seals of letters before sending them off, doubling up the original with extra empty papers, or choosing to read them late at night in her own room. They also talked about future plans when the topic of marriage came up. Even though he hadn't asked the question yet, talking about it had her thinking it was only a matter of time. She briefly considered how all that would work being that they were from different kingdoms in all, but that could wait she concluded.
The next time Peach met up with Bowser, she updated him on everything that had happened. To say he wasn't pleased was definitely an understatement. The Koopa King went on about what Haru could possibly do for her Kingdom that he hasn't been doing for years and how she's only infatuated with him cause he's just like her. Dealing with Bowser for years, Peach knew it was best to just let him say whatever lest it lead to something bigger. It was in the middle of his tangent that Haru decided to appear having been waiting for a little longer than normal. Bowser decided at that moment it was time to leave, giving Haru the meanest glare as he walked past. Uncharacteristically Haru returned the gesture and Peach was glad Bowser's back was turned. As they were on the way to the flower kingdom Haru would ask her how she's put up with him all these years.
Peach had quickly learned not to bring either man up to the other regardless of what it was about. If it didn't have nothing to do with making sure everything remained functional in her kingdom it wasn't discussed. If it didn't have anything to do with the two of them specifically it wasn't discussed. In her excitement one day she did slip up and tell Bowser that Haru had officially proposed with a ring and everything. After the conversation it left her viewing a few of her most recent encounters and relationship as a whole a bit differently. Just as she was starting to feel a bit better about things, one night after having dinner with the King, Queen, and Haru's council left both of them in a weird mood by the time they went up to his room. Haru in particular seemed to be lost deep in his own thoughts, having not said a single word as they laid together on bed before he suddenly got up and sat down at his own desk and started writing down stuff on paper.
"So tell me again while it would be more preferable to have a boy first." Peach asked, staring up at the ceiling breaking the silence.
"It's more so about the title. See here in the flower kingdom the next in line for the crown goes to the oldest male once the current King passes. So while my dad was born after my aunt, the throne automatically went to him once my grandfather passed because of that." He explained while writing. "It was quite the conflict between everyone around that time but it's what the will stated and one of the last laws he passed. My dad's been assuming that we're going to be adapting laws from here since it's more 'set in stone' and 'proven to work' none of that making it up as it happens." Haru said only dropping his pen to do air quotes with his hands. "I'm sorry if he made you think that he or even myself would be disappointed in having a firstborn daughter. It's quite annoying since we haven't even gotten married yet and they're going on about kids now." He apologized, returning to the task at hand.
"I see. On the topic of kids I guess, how do you think I'd do as a mother? I mean I also started training a little later in life to become a princess and with this child I would have to start them earlier right" Peach asked more questions rushing to her brain than she could voice. He hummed before answering.
"Well I've seen you with both babies here and in your own Kingdom. I think you'd be a great mom. You grew up surrounded by toads so you know what it's like to be really involved so to speak. It's me you'll probably have to reign in every now and then, even up to four years ago I very rarely saw my own parents around and spent most of my days with mentors." He recounted, pen going to his cheek briefly before returning it to the paper "As far as training goes well like me we can have a few mentors if you want and you have me, I'll tell them what I experienced. We can also decide the best age to start it if that helps. But, again I just say we focus on getting through this wedding first before all that stuff" He finished.
Peach thought it'd be best to take his advice for now and worry about that topic for later and she also sensed that would be how he'd end everything else regarding the matter. She sat up covering her legs with the t-shirt and then pulling them to her chest.
"Is that why you're over there writing down some hypothetical laws of your own" Peach guessed and did a little cheer in her head when he stiffened in place.
"They're hypothetical laws for us" he corrected and faced the opposite direction in the chair. "I figured since you were thinking about things having it written down where you could see it would help and maybe for me too" he concluded and matched the frown that appeared on her face.
"How is it for us when I'm not giving any input?" She asked him.
"In a way you are by talking about your worries. I'm just adjusting and making things accordingly so you don't think about when the time comes. I was gonna show you later once it was a bit more polished." He promised.
"Would you be ok if we were to hypothetically still have an alliance in place with Bowser?" Peach asked out of the blue.
"What does he have to do with anything Princess?" He was genuinely confused at the sudden change of subject in the span of twenty minutes. She gave him a look that told him to answer the question. He groaned "If I'm honest I'm not 100% on board with it. I mean I was always taught to be wary when it comes to Koopa's. I'm willing to go along with it if that's what you want but I'm not going to be as kind as you are and allow him to do and talk as he pleases"  He told her honetime.
“I guess I understand where you're coming from but, there's a certain way you have to deal with him or he could get vindictive. " Peach advised.
"That doesn't mean anything to me, especially since I've been without his assistance for years and been ok. I would like to think that by being your husband you'd have faith that I know what's best for the people." He said feeling offended.
Peach was silent, not sure what could be said to make Haru not think that way. Making decisions alone was easy but doing it as a team seemed like it took way more work. In her own head she didn't process the bed shift under the added weight and arms wrapping around her shoulders until he spoke.
"I really do mean what I said. Look I know I haven't been there as long as Bowser and I know I'm nothing to compare to him physically but, I'd do anything I can against him for the people and you. So put some trust in me that I'll know the best choice" he begged.
Peach let the nodding of her head do the speaking instead of using her own voice not trusting it to sound sincere. Haru took it for now and hoped that one day he'd be able to prove it to her in the future. They ended up dozing off for a while before Peach woke up and asked if he could take her home. Despite the late hour, he slipped on some clothes and had her home in record time.
_____
It was three days to the wedding and aside from a few little things that could be handled on the day of, The preparations were complete. For the first time in a while she had actually finished all her work early. Not that she had much stuff with everything going on, just similar stuff for her coronation minus a speech.  Peach laid on top of covers in the dark room, engagement ring on the stand instead of her finger.  Deep down she had already admitted that she wasn't ready for this. There were just too many unknown possibilities that for some reason she could only envision poor outcomes. When she had told some of the Toads this, they had completely brushed her off saying it was just the pre-wedding jitters and once she's walking down the aisle it would fade away instantly..
At that moment she just agreed and laughed it off with them but she couldn't shake the thought that they were just telling her that because they had put so much energy into the preparations for her to change her mind. Something a couple of Toads in particular said was really sticking in her head and made her just want to suck it up and go through with it regardless of feelings. 
"If you change your mind now, you might end up regretting it later" one of them said as they were twisting her hair.
"Who knows if you'll ever find someone else that loves you the same way or even more than he does" The other one said while painting her nails.
"Oh but think of your reputation amongst the lands my dear. If you back out now any potential suitor looking your way will see you as a flake." The former one finished her hair and held a mirror up. "Do you like it?" Peach nodded.
"Don't say that! anyone would be lucky to take our Princess as their bride. Pay her no mind dear." The latter one held her hand up at a better angle "ooh I smudged it a little," she frowned and got to work fixing it.
Peach had tuned out for the remainder of the time she was there only replying with single words and nonverbal movements with her head. She grabbed the pillow and covered her face in a lousy attempt to drown out the words. The knock at the door caught her attention and like many times before she knew exactly who it was. Upon her approval, he walked Toadsworth and he stood right at the head of the bed. 
"I would assume you'd be in much higher spirits given that you're getting married soon. Yet you're in here alone and looking upset" he said his observations out loud. "Any reason for that?" He asked.
"Just because I'm laying down doesn't mean I'm upset." She told him. "I'm just a little exhausted with everything so I'm trying to catch up on sleep" she lied and turned to face the other direction. 
Even in the dark she could feel his gaze burning a hole in the back of her head.
"I'm not convinced that's the truth at all Princess. However, if you wish not to discuss what's bothering you now, know that I'll be here to listen to you later. You know where I'll be" he assured her, making his way to the door. 
The mustached toad didn't even make it five steps away from the bed before she sat in the bed reaching an arm out at him and in a panic told him to wait. Halting in his steps as he waited for her next instruction. The word came out of her mouth faster than her brain processed as she slowly lowered her arm thinking about the best way to talk about it.
"Could you just...you know what, wait a second'' Peach started but then decided to get up off the bed, turn the light on, and grab the chair from her work desk bringing it over to her bed. "Sit please" He did as he was asked and held her hand when she reached for it. "I, well, gosh I'm sorry" she choked then took a deep breath and then apologized, failing to find the right words.
"Peach, It's okay, take your time." He rubbed her hand once he got her attention at the sound of her name. "I'm not going anywhere" He promised, giving her hand a soft squeeze.
The Princess took his advice. Closing her eyes she took a few deep breaths and just focused on the feeling of Toadsworth rubbing her hand in gentle circular motions. It was a good five minutes of that as she collected her thoughts before she felt ready to speak. With one last deep breath, she started.
"I don't think I'm ready for all of this. I mean it's not that I don't love him" she said looking at the ring from the corner of her eye. "It's just... I guess I don't want him or anyone else to hate me for not putting the kingdom's best interest first you know?" She expressed it in the best way she could.
"I see your predicament my dear" Toadsworth said, taking time to process her concerns. "But, I want to remind you that when it comes to love, the kingdom should have nothing to do with it." 
"Toadsworth, the relationships I have with people regardless if it's romantic or not has everything to do with my Kingdom and even others" she tried to get him to understand. "I already hear some people say you could get away with anything and I'd turn a blind eye" she gave a better example and couldn't help the little smile as he chuckled no doubt having heard the same thing.
There was nothing he could really think to say to convince her otherwise. He had a good feeling that her relationship with one particular person was the main cause of all these worries. Toadsworth had decided a long time ago that Peach would have to figure that one out on her own since no amount of talking would get her to see right.
"Never matter, if you're feeling all these doubts, perhaps you should talk to the Prince about waiting longer or if you really feel that it's not a good idea, just call it off all together. I'm sure he'd be more than understanding" Toadsworth offered.
"Do you really think that would work out well with him?" She asked him. The second question of what if he does the same thing as Bowser did? Went unasked because she couldn't even think about grouping those two together in that way.
"I don't see why it wouldn't but you won't know if you don't have the conversation" he said, letting go of her hand and standing up in the chair and widening his arms. Peach did the same and they embraced each other. "You should probably have it sooner rather than later unless you've changed your mind" He combed his fingers through her blonde locks.
"Yeah you're right" she nodded "sorry just a little longer" she held onto him tighter.
"Of course," he whispered, doing the same.
In the end no matter how many times she rehearsed the conversation with an imaginary Haru, nothing felt right and time was running out. Peach decided it would just be easier to communicate with him the way they always did. At least she didn't have to see the look on his face telling him she couldn't go through with it. Better yet she didn't have to worry about him trying to convince her to otherwise change her mind. After sending the letter and the ring off she got a response 24 hours before the wedding was set to start.
"I understand. I'll always be here for you" 
That's all his letter said and she gave a sigh of relief that it was over. Later on that night, the feeling of relief turned into sadness that it was over. Peach once again laid awake in bed staring at the ceiling hoping her heart would heal quickly. There was no time to grieve she had a Kingdom to run and was more than happy to do it alone forever if she had too. All she needed was to know her toads were happy and safe. That's the mantra she kept telling herself to fall asleep. When that didn't work, she could only hope that things would be much easier should another person come along.
13 notes · View notes
melverie · 7 months ago
Text
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
10 notes · View notes
dirtytransmasc · 1 year ago
Text
If I wrote a fic where Miles (at some point in the general post ATSV to BTSV timeline all of us fic writers are existing in) is reunited with his Blonde Peter Parker, and they have a heart to heart, and Peter offers him the comfort he has literally been so desperate for, and being the only person he knew before all this that hasn't betrayed him in some way, would y'all read it???
how is peter coming back from the dead? a dunno man, just use your imagination and be quiet. is he staying alive to stay for the rest of the conflict? I dunno, probably not gonna write that far. will it be your typically angsty bullshit? yeah, probably, I'll find a way to break my own heart doing it, and all of y'all's in the process, per usual.
Edit: this is now in progress, though I don't know when it'll be finished.
36 notes · View notes
bakafurai · 9 months ago
Text
Kenji seems like the type of guy who would ask p3-kun to practice kiss with him. you know like, no homo and all that. just two dudes kissing for "practice".
13 notes · View notes
wereh0gz · 1 month ago
Text
Had the idea of like. The egg memos from frontiers but detailing the events from unleashed instead, talking abt eggman's musings and research and stuff from that time
They could have him talking abt dark gaia energy's properties, the gaia manuscripts and myths about the gaias from different parts of the world, his plans for eggmanland and complaining abt sonic getting in the way, that kinda stuff. All until a little after the end of the game where his last egg memo talks abt his utter failure and him abandoning research on dark gaia bc he can no longer readily access its energy
And bc I'm brainrotting over my own oc rue, I've been thinking of egg memos talking abt what he learns while experimenting on them. Detailing the physical mutations they experienced due to the dark gaia energy, behavioral changes, difficulties he has studying them bc they're (understandably) uncooperative, until the end of the game where they along with any other test subjects he may have been studying manage to escape
Just. Little lore dumps abt stuff eggman does during unleashed, and maybe even other games before and since, from his perspective
6 notes · View notes
axe-trio-commanders · 6 months ago
Text
You know what. I hope that as time goes on every expansion has a fun little mastery track for the housing. And I want one of the mastery tracks to be musical instruments. I want a piano. perhaps an organ. Harpsichord. 8-octave array mbira. that one glass bowl instrument i'm forgetting the name of. cello. all the instruments impractical for carrying around..... (....also slightly unrelatedly, i still want accidentals. I cannot jazz in these conditions.) Like. Join someone's house instance, immediately greeted by the rest of the party playing in-game jazz. Or, alternatively, enter someone's house instance and immediately get unwillingly rickrolled. like, yeah, sure, i could use the mastery tracks that give me better in-game bonuses, but- consider- giving me an entire church organ to become the in-game phantom of the opera.
4 notes · View notes
tvrningout · 1 year ago
Text
THE DANCING DRUID | BALDUR'S GATE 3 AU
Tumblr media
you remember now. foraging for herbs, goblins swarming you, a painful blow to your skull, and then... nothing. how is it you came to be aboard a nautiloid?
you are more concerned about the tadpole in your head than how it got there. you are more curious how you are not a splatter of viscera upon the beach. who cares how it happened? you have no idea where you are and ache all over. ► could the goblins have something to do with it?
you have never known goblins to align themselves with illithids, but you suppose there is a first time for everything. no matter your theories, the pressing matter of your tadpole hangs over your head; you need to find a healer. soon.
Tumblr media
born to a drow mother and human father, chiyo grew up in a small village in the wilds of faerun. she felt more at home among the flora than people who eyed her warily, though, often exploring the forest, marking paths to pretty fields and little hideaways. it seemed to come natural to chiyo, like she belonged among the bubbling brooks and whispering leaves. it felt natural.
noticing her affinity for nature, her father taught her how to harness its magic and how to honor and serve silvanus; her mother, too, taught her the teachings of eilistraee, the goddess who had wished for the drow to return to the surface as well as the deity she had once served as a cleric. the young half-drow sometimes doubted that the gods would truly watch over someone so insignificant, but she learned and worshipped them nonetheless.
there came a day when her father decided it was time that they return to the circle he left long ago. his attempts to create one of his own had been unsuccessful over the years, and chiyo could learn from the druids there, find a community that she would never find in the village they currently lived in. so they left for the emerald grove, and there they have stayed.
additional notes:
chiyo is a druid of the circle of the land, focusing more on magic that manipulates the elements than wild shaping; eilistraee also plays a part in her magic/combat, making her partial to blades and allowing her to use spellsong to heal and buff/debuff those around her. she may wield moonfire as well, though this spell is mainly intended to provide light rather than having any combat use.
she and her family have lived in the emerald grove for the past 8 years, making chiyo 28 in this verse. she's familiar with the druids and tieflings, most likely on good terms with most of them, but i won't assume close friendships unless plotted/given the okay!
she still has similar issues to her original verses, such as struggling to make real connections and opening herself up and being vulnerable. even so, she makes the decision to continue travelling with her companions not only because it's the right thing to do and her fate hangs in the balance, but because she grows attached to them.
i'm writing chiyo as " tav, " but i don't mind one bit writing her as a companion -- basically if you want your muse to be the group's leader, just let me know <3
i won't be using icons for this verse, but i'll have a screenshot of chiyo's appearance below!
i'm sure i'll add more here as things come to mind!
Tumblr media
6 notes · View notes
regallibellbright · 10 months ago
Text
I've been trying to make progress on Reel and Deal realizing it's been, y'know, way longer than I'd like given I've got like half of Chapter 5 already written.
And then I decide to have a fun little scene with Beat and Shiki at a skate park.
And then I realize I know nothing about skateboarding.
So anyway I've spent about 20% of Writing Mode time this week actively writing and 80% Okay I Actually Need To Know The BARE MINIMUM About Skateboarding To Block This Scene. Think I've finally got it adequate.
2 notes · View notes
gible-love-nibles-archive · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Good morning
7 notes · View notes