#But whenever I hear his voice I go into fight or flight mode

[luxury-nightmare]

accurate depiction of my relationship with Kevin

[taesanluv3r]

flower shop confessions.

kim woonhak x reader

another woonhak love confession story 😭 im sorry im just really obsessed w the idea of woonhak telling his crush he likes her and it cld go so many ways and i feel like i HAVE to put all my ideas out there TT ALSO this is rlly ass cause im still on my trip and didnt bring my laptop so pls pls excuse the spelling mistakes / grammatical errors 💔 i just REALLY needed to write this 😭😭 okay lowercase intended, pls enjoy <3

wc: 1,531

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listen to 1980s horror film by wallows while reading...!

he didn't know what it was. maybe it was the way she said his name, the way each syllable ran smoothly out of her mouth. perhaps it was the concern on her face when his clumsy self tripped over his own shoelaces, and the constant nagging and scolding she'd give him afterwards. it could be just…her in general. the way her hair fell down below her shoulders, how she wore her clothes in such a way so she wouldn't look as short as she really was. whatever it was, kim woonhak was completely and utterly, ridiculously in love with her...with yn ln.

yet he was absolutely oblivious.

sure he knew he felt something, why else would his heart beat faster when she was nearby? why on earth would his ears perk up upon hearing her name? even worse when he hears her voice. but the idiot was nothing more than a child, an immature little prick who couldn’t quite grasp the concept of being in love. these feelings confused him, there was no way he could understand them himself, he needed some help.

“what’s up, kid?”

myung jaehyun. arguably the best person to ask for advice from, and historically the worst! but hey, you live and you learn; not with jaehyun though, there is not a single thought in his head. “hyung i need your help, i was gonna ask taesan hyung but i figured he’d make fun of me…” he spoke naturally, not an ion of nervousness in his voice, but this was before he started to think about her again. “it’s yn, yn ln” he began, heart beating faster already. jae nodded his head slightly, allowing the younger boy to continue.

“i don’t know how i feel about her. i don’t think i like her like that, but whenever she’s around i just get so nervous and my whole body gets on this fight or flight mode. she makes me so…breathless? yeah, it’s like she physically stabbed me in the gut and stole all of my organs. i don’t get it, i used to be able to talk to her so easily but nowadays i just…can’t? not without panicking inside and stuttering. she’s ruining my cool guy persona!!! what do i do!?”

the senior boy let out a chuckle, finding the junior’s rant and obvious infatuation for the girl a little bit hysterical. woonhak was even more lost now, lifting an eyebrow up in utter confusion when his friend finally calmed himself down. “look kid, it’s obvious you have feelings for her. and it’s okay to not know what that feeling is. just go with your gut on this, and if you’re still unsure…give it a couple days and when you’re really desperate, tell her. tell her all the things you told me. i can’t guarantee you any great outcome, but maybe it’ll help” the younger boy nodded, bidding the myung guy goodbye before leaving the highschool’s library and deciding to get some fresh air on his walk home.

about halfway through his walk he felt a wave of goosebumps wash over his skin; it was odd considering the fact that the weather was exceptionally warmer today, not to mention the boy wore his school’s varsity jacket. what in the world could have caused this? and that’s when she saw her.

he sighed, the yellow-ish tint of the pretty fairy lights that combed the roof of the flower shop on the street illuminated against her skin. her hair had seemingly grown a little longer overnight, he’d know, for he remembered rather clearly that it hadn’t reached her collarbones the way it did today the day before. it was nearly six pm, but the girl still wore the star academy uniform, a white button-up with the red and blue skirt with her black sweater layered on top. she worked at the rose-scented shop after her lessons right after school three times a week, and today just so happened to be one of those days…

she was pretty, he has always thought so. ever since they bumped into each other at school one day, and coincidentally she moved into the same neighbourhood as him the next week. he had talked to her before, in fact, they were rather close. it was only recently he had been feeling different, just the mere sight of her sent grumbly butterflies to overflow his stomach. even when she did the most mundane things, like tie up her hair or take pictures of the pretty sunset, or like right now; helping some old lady pick the perfect flowers for a large bouquet…yn ln made kim woonhak’s heart melt into pieces.

he didn’t know how he got there, he must’ve been too deep in his thoughts to notice that his feet had taken him into the flower shop. the ding of the bell atop the door shook him out of his trance, and alerted the female worker. his friend, but as of right now he wanted her to be something more. “woonhak! just got back from dance practice? i hear the team has a competition at the end of the month” yn was cheerful as she rearranged some of the lavender that was left on her counter from her last customer. “mhmm, practice is going really good, heard you’re doing the decoration and costume for us?” his sentence came out breathier than usual, it was the unconscious worry that he’d say something wrong. she nodded before she began to silently sing along to the songs that shuffled from her playlist.

~ she was only seventeen, oh why are girls in songs always seventeen? ~

“is there anything i could help you with?” she asked, 1980s horror film by wallows blasting out of the vintage speaker she bought at a thrift store the other day. “yeah um, i thought, while i’m here, i should be a good child and get my mom some flowers. but if i’m honest, i don’t know what to get” he chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head while she mirrored his movement; except she actually had an itch on her neck. “hmm, well your mom seems like a young soul who’s got a big heart. so i’d go with the poppies, lilies and ranunculus. they symbolise youth, innocence, grace and…what was it? oh! and joy”

she looked so passionate when she spoke, and after he had agreed with her choices, kim began to stare. not in a creepy way, of course. rather, he was enchanted by her focus; her tongue stuck out as she arranged the flowers, and he noticed her little huffs in annoyance when the loose strands of hair fell against her face. she looked so…in her element and all the boy could think was…’shit, she’s perfect’

~ she was from a movie scene, and now she plays in my head all day ~

“alright, here you go!” yn smiled brightly, handing the boy the bouquet and the pennies of change. “ah, thank you so much!” he mimicked her grin, heart-eyes all too obvious as he retrieved the flowers from her grasp. “anything else i could help you with?” she asked finally, tilting her head slightly as she did so. now was his chance, he’d have to play it smooth…it was now or never, kim woonhak had to confess.

he thought about his next move as if he were playing a game of chess. the advice he had gotten from jaehyun earlier retrograded in his mind. then he remembered where he stood, and i don’t mean that as in mentally, i mean physically; in a flower shop. just perfect.

“yeah, so basically i’m in love with this girl, and i wanted to know if there was a flower to say…eternal love? or you know, something of that sense” smooth one woonhak, smooth. there was a slight frown that casted upon the girl’s face, but before he could ask her what was wrong, she had straightened herself out and began helping him out. “yes! um- red roses, they’re a classic for this…here, i just un-thorned this one” her voice came out quieter, juxtaposing the way she usually was. instead of worrying him, her reaction gave him a slight bit of hope. he grabbed the single rose from her, thanking her before he pretended to leave. once he was at the foot of the door he turned on his heels,

"oh!"

he exclaimed, walking back towards her counter when she lifted an eyebrow at him in confusion. “this is for you, actually…so um, call me?” and he handed her back the rose, shooting her a crooked smile and quick wink before pacing out of the store to save himself from further embarrassment, just in the case that she didn’t feel the same.

later that evening, when kim woonhak laid on his comfy bed, the one with the tayo the little bus bed sheets he's had for ages, he felt a sickening feeling of nerves racking throughout his body. she still hasn’t called or texted. but all that worry was to be washed away when his phone chimed a familiar sound.

yn (pls love me 💔):

i love you too, woonhak <3 see you at school tomorrow? and thank u for the rose 🌹

...

SCORE!

the end.

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LMAOAOAO this was so random idk 😭 again sorry if this sucks balls im still away n dont have my laptop </3 love u guys tysm for reading. feedback n reblogs r greatly appreciated!! love, kona.

[littlewitty]

Alairie Persu

Chapter 2

“Desperation will lead a good man, bad.” I whispered to myself. Barely audible. I sounded shit. I gazed into the fountain. I looked like shit. Who was I kidding? I was shit. Complete and utter bullshit. It had been ages since that whole ordeal and my legs were still actively shaking. The worst part was what Blondie had said:

“What?! She tried to pickpocket our precious Licht? A prince!”

It now made sense why they looked refined. I was an idiot. How did I not notice that? A prince of Rhodolite. Cupping the fountain water and flushing my face, the icy burn brought me back. It was almost like cleansing my face of all my daily sins. It was as refreshing as a new start. Soon, another day was going to be dawning, I had to get over the embarrassment of being caught.

In the city, footsteps echoed extremely well. The noise almost bounced off the cobbles. It was rather haunting if not for the lamp post nearby. It was the only proper light I had besides the moon which every now and then was shielded with clouds. Laying back and gazing at the sky I let my mind wander. Whenever I did, it always flew up into the stars. This was the same blue yonder as back at home. That was the same moon. Those were the same stars. I never took into account how much I would miss that place in Jade. In Rhodolitian, this feeling was called ‘homesickness’. It lived up to its name as I felt sick to my stomach. Now I had gotten weary of clouds. That meant rain and mist. It was cloudy tonight. I was learning.

“...You.” That voice was hauntingly familiar. Dashing up, I glared at the man in front of me. “The thief.” A man stood in front of me. He was barely standing up, obviously drunk or high, but his growling voice put me into flight mode. I stood up and stepped back. Now, on the ledge of the fountain, I towered him. He seemed familiar. I couldn’t place on why. “You’re the bitch who stole my wallet… lowlife.” Oh… I had stolen from him. Instantly, the situation had gotten increasingly dangerous. My skills were limited. Robbery, secrecy and evasion were the best. I had no chance in combat if it led there. He lunged forward. I turned around and ran. My foot slipped. I saw the whole world tilt. My body hit the fountain water hard. Pain. Agony to the side of my face. Muscles… stiffening instantly leaving me like a statue. Hearing b-bubbling and muffled frequencies my body was – yanked out of the water. Like a dead fish, …he dragged me along the hard concrete. I couldn’t even…fight back. I didn’t have the strength. I c-couldn’t bre-breathe. It… felt like cold, – hard ice was shoved… shoved into my nose when tr– I breathed. I c-couldn’t bre-breathe! My head… throbbed. With …vision fading in … in and out, I-...I…

I was falling… no… It was her. Oh… and him. She was pouring tea, he was in his chair. On the table, there was bread and butter. Brown bread. He looked at me. She looked at me. She smiled. He smiled. I smiled back. She reached for my cup. She poured me tea too. He was drinking tea, talking. I couldn’t hear them… With a hand on my shoulder, she looked at me and said somethi-

I felt hot. I felt sweaty. I felt sick. I could feel it in my throat. It was blurry. Hazy. I forced my eyes to stay open. Something was in front of me. I kept blinking until my eyes adjusted. My ears rang. My head had this pressure. Like a cracked damn holding back a tsunami, it felt like it would break. I forced myself, like ripping muscles, to sit up and lean over. My body betrayed me, however, only letting me roll onto my side. I looked up to the person in front of me. Barely able to focus but I managed to map out his features. Honey-blonde hair, cut to perfection. His eyes were blue. They were like the ocean. It was dark. Not a scary dark, but a comforting dark. Even so, my eyes still stinged. Keeping them open hurt. Turning away and looking down to the bricked floor, sickness churned inside of me. He opened his mouth and spoke, this time I finally semi-understood him.

“You’re okay? Yes? You pa-...” He lost me again. His accent was proper and clean. A flash in my mind forced me to concentrate. I had said that about someone before… No, three people. They were in the market… and standing at the dessert stall and then I…

He was that man. I looked around me. He was ‘adorned in a pink dress-suit’. He still resembled a porcelain doll but was still scowling. He was the one who… what did he do? I couldn’t remember. Him aside, I was still on the floor and my back felt refreshingly wet and cold. However, I felt like I was covered in a layer of slime. My body lurched. The piercing frequency, the pressure in my head, the increasing temperature and pain in my stomach all combined. The wrath of nausea won.

“Drink.” The rim of a flask found my lips and I gently sipped it. Shivers ran down my spine. Water. Nothing had ever tasted better. It was warm but my throat was practically bowing to the voice who provided it. I finally realised why I was so cold. My coat was hanging on Blondie’s shoulder. “Take your time.” There was someone next to me. A heavy hand on my shoulder and the other holding something on my forehead.

“She’s not woken up fully yet, has she?”

“No. She should be terrified. She hasn’t put two and two together.” Blondie said. He was glaring down his nose at me. “I called the Constable, he should be here any minute now.”

“I already said to forget it. She didn’t steal much anyway.” He had white hair. He was… Licht? I froze. I was completely at their mercy. He looked into my eyes. He had to have realised I knew otherwise why would he say:

“Don’t think about it. I don’t care,” He threw a glance up to his side. A voice erupted from there.

“Here, make her eat this.” I knew that voice. That was the pub owner. I went there a lot for food. He was nice to me. He, himself, was half Jadian and served me food he knew I would like.

I finally asked them what happened. I was only met with weird looks. All apart from the pub owner who smiled and replied to me, in Jadian, my native tongue.

“You fell into the fountain. You look like you’ve been beaten up, did you get into a fight?”

“No.” Wait… “Yes.”

“Hmm, whoever it was left you here and these men found you. Perhaps try to talk in Rhodolitian? They may not understand what you are saying.”

“We do comprehend. Although she talks with words that one is not very familiar with hearing.” Blondie replied. He was speaking Jadian with a flawless accent but, my god, he was one posh man. After a few minutes of trying to switch my brain into Rhodolitian mode, I attempted to speak it.

“You called-have the Constabl-, sorry, you have called the Constable?” Licht paused. He handed me the bread. I knew that they had called him. Any normal person would have.

“Indeed.” Blondie sneered. Licht took off his coat and wrapped it around my shoulders. He looked like he wanted to say something but was refraining himself. We heard echoes of footsteps and soon a dark figure appeared next to us.

“You took your time. Here she is, Constable. Take her away.” Blondie pointed to me. I was too cold. I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move. I would just let myself be taken. I was okay with that.. When you make your bed you lay in it and you lay bloody low. Sometimes, you fail. Life was merely a game. When this one ends, I’ll move onto the next one. Nothing ever truly lasts forever. That had to be true. Desperation will lead a good man, bad. However, a man is never always desperate.

[kairiscorner]

I don't mind sharing, just wanted to give you some warning lol if you want angst, I'll give you angst in a not so mini lore story (Sent in two parts cause it's too long to send as one lol) ~🍄

Her canon event was painfully something of her own making. After adopting Audrey, and keeping her a secret for almost a year because of other Symbiotes causing trouble in her dimension, and eventually hearing horrible things about them from other spider people, she drew in on herself for a while when back home. While she was trying to keep up a good attitude at HQ and when out on patrol, back home she suffered severe anxiety and doubled down on keeping her identity secret. Enough so that she couldn't sleep well some nights...resulting in sleepwalking and the occasional waking nightmare. It was one of those waking nightmares that brought her out into the alley beside her apartment one night, with Audrey out trying to bring her back in and convince her to make that chocolate cake she was promised. But Rose was convinced she was supposed to be protecting the building, going on about Green Goblin throwing bombs around (it was fireworks for the 4th of July, which made Audrey a little irritable too cause of the sounds). Naturally, the neighbors got worried seeing a symbiote in the darkness. So they all were calling for one of the neighbors, the soon to be appointed Captain Stacy and one of Rose's closest friends. She babysat her Earth's Gwen since she was a tween, always provided plants and homemade sweets to his precinct for the holidays and whenever someone was promoted. He was like family to her, and in her frightened haze she didn't recognize his voice shouting from the end of the alley. He knew about Audrey, but not who she was bound to. So he tried to talk them down, hoping that he could calm her enough to take her away and put her under control. But he couldn't, so he was forced to try and subdue her with force. A bullet or two grazed her, and sent Audrey into fight or flight mode. Thorns whipping about as she tried to scare him away, but Rose was too out of sorts and took the threat as another enemy, lunging for the Captain and tangling her webs around his throat. With Audrey half in control, her strength was heightened in her haze and what normally would have at worst taken the breath from the man, unfortunately crushed more than she'd bargained for. Even Audrey knew that they were pushing things too far, and tried to separate herself from Rose (Both because she liked the captain since he tended to spoil them with sweets, but also because she knew how much he meant to Rose.).

NOOOOOOOOOO and the fact there's more to his makes me sadder yet craving for more ACK ,,,,

[spectaclespencer]

P.H. // Part 3; Need To Know

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

A/N; Chapter 3!! Yay! I will not lie I got kind of lazy and burnt out when I finally got to the smut scene, and for that I am sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys with a future chapter.

Summary; Reader can’t get her mind off of Spencer, which causes distractions at work. Until one day when he catches on.

Category; Smut (Minors DNI!!!)

Content Warnings; Swearing, Kissing, Mentions of masturbation, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral (Male receiving), Drinking, Mentions of being shot, Kinda Sub!Spencer, Virgin!Spencer (but not by the end of it)

Word Count; 7.2k

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

‘Wanna know what it's like (like)

Baby, show me what it's like (like)

I don't really got no type (type)

I just wanna fuck all night’

Spencer Reid. The object of my attraction, the man I fell harder for with every stolen glance I could manage to throw his way. I was obsessed, and that infatuation only grew stronger every day that I saw him at work.

When we went out to bars after cases we ended up in an inevitable game of Never Have I Ever like a bunch of high school kids. With Emily and Derek in the group it almost always turned sexual. It started with innocent things such as; Never have I ever kicked down a door -- to which Derek drinks. There were some targeted jabs, I got Spencer a few times when I brought up an activity I was certain he had done -- just to keep him involved.

However he never drank past that. He never took a sip when Emily made a sexual innuendo, or when she brought up one night stands, number of partners, most bizarre location to engage in intercourse. Nothing of the sort got him to break. I figured he was a private guy, never one to boast about his sexual experiences.

It was frustrating, to say the least. It got to the point where I couldn’t think about anyone but him. I couldn’t engage in any sexual activity without my mind shifting to him, the way he might slip his fingers in and out of me, or how skilled he was with his mouth instead of the person I dragged home. No other person could even begin to compare to the remedy I concocted in my mind. I didn’t have any information to base my fantasies on, either.

I had it bad. So bad, that at one point I spilled hot coffee all over myself in the breakroom over the littlest interaction.

Spencer came in just after me, mumbling a small hello before reaching to grab a mug for himself. In the process of doing so his shirt rode up, exposing a small expanse of his lower stomach that had me sputtering as I clumsily missed my cup and instead poured the coffee all over the counter. It ran down and soaked through my pants; yet it wasn’t nearly as hot as the way I felt on the inside.

I couldn’t help but wonder the noises he’d make if I were to suck dark purple marks across that plain of skin...or if anyone ever had before.

The small burn was a fine price to pay for my inappropriate thoughts.

Him being the sweet guy that he is, offered to help me clean up. This proposal ended up with him taking paper towels and patting down my thighs -- not realizing just how suggestive the action looked to me.

“Sorry,” He whispered, looking up at my face from his position below me. He was kneeling on one knee, with a hand planted firmly on the outside of my thigh. His voice was soft yet raspy, and oh how I let my mind wander.

“Not your fault,” I said quickly, and borderline ran out the door before he could protest or add anything on.

I headed straight to the bathroom to wash my face, try and stop the effect he had on me from becoming too physical.

If I got that worked up over a small piece of skin showing, nothing could have prepared me for the first night we shared a hotel room.

I was in shambles all night, ever since the moment Hotch handed me a room card and explained we needed to double up.

Emily usually roomed with JJ, Hotch and Rossi got their own, and Derek refuses to bunk with Spencer -- if he could avoid it. Much to my luck, this time he did because Garcia was needed for this case, meaning she and Derek would be sharing.

Leaving me with Spencer.

I stood there helpless, eyes burning a hole into the place that Hotch was previously standing. I was panicking on the inside, my body going into fight or flight mode as I went through scenarios in my head.

I was 99% sure I would be embarrassing myself tonight.

“Hey,” Spencer said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped and shrieked a little bit, and slapped a hand over my heart. “Oh my god, Reid. You scared me.”

“Sorry,” he laughed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay.”

He nodded, eventually realizing that he was still indeed touching my shoulder. He dropped his arm, only to bring his hand back up to rub over his chin.

My eyes darted down to it, watching at the way his veins stood out. It wasn’t the first time I admired them, there were moments when he was going over maps with two fingers where I wondered what they would feel like on my-

“____?”

“What?” I asked, a little too loud for the setting.

“Did you hear me?”

“No, sorry.”

“I said we should go inside,” he laughed softly, trying to sooth the tension.

I agreed, stepping past him to start walking to our room. I opened the door with trembling hands, wondering just how hard the following nights at the hotel would be.

“I’m gonna go see Emily and JJ. Ask if they wanna go to the bar,” I said quickly, throwing my bag down just inside the door.

“Oh. Okay. Have fun! Don’t stay out too late. You should get a full night’s sleep.”

“I won’t be long. Don’t wait up!” I called, not looking back to see him before half jogging out of the room.

-----

“I cannot go back in there.”

“Oh, because of your little crush,” Emily laughed, much too loud for the early hours of the morning.

Clearly Spencer’s advice about coming back early didn’t plant itself in my head.

“Yes, because of that,” I confirmed. I was staring down at my drink, wallowing in self pity. It was too awkward to even step foot in there, I’m sure just by the sight of him I’d explode.

“What is it about him that gets you hot and heavy?” JJ teased. “No shame, just curious.”

I fake laughed, ignoring her question.

Everything he did was so intoxicating. Even the most mundane things got my blood pumping hard. Each time he let a small gasp through his lips or when he would whisper to himself, a shockwave went through me, igniting a fire deep inside that was near impossible to put out.

But he was so oblivious. He hadn’t a single idea of the effect he had on me. And that was the most frustrating part.

The first time I noticed my extreme attraction to him was shortly after I joined the team, it was only the third or fourth case I’d had with them. Spencer and I walked to a coffee shop to grab some for everyone, and on the way back he was infodumping.

About what, I can’t remember, for I was too fixated on the way his hands wrapped around his cup as he talked. He’d wave it around, and in doing so his fingers would trace little patterns onto the outside of it. I didn't mean to stare, I just got distracted.

I started noticing more little things after that.

Like the way he licked his lips while deep in thought, his mind consuming him to the point where he looked so concentrated and determined. It was hot, to put it simply. I wanted nothing more for him to be licking my lips, to feel him take such care with my body.

He had always been attractive in my eyes, the young boy was nothing but pretty. Even when his hair was shorter and he gelled it back, pairing the look with his glasses -- that he unfortunately wore less often nowadays.

It was nearly painful to be around him all day every day. My head would constantly be spinning with anxiety, only causing more and more headaches to present themselves. It was like a punishment, one I certainly deserved for the tasteful thoughts I had during work hours.

My crush went from an innocent little thing, to full fledged fascination.

‘I just been fantasizin' (size)

And we got a lotta time (time)

Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’

Avoiding him as much as I could seemed like a decent plan at the time. If I kept my interactions low, I could distract myself with other things, and not focus on the way his lips pursed as I conversed with him. I raced up more time staring at his mouth rather than completing actual work by my six month stay at the BAU.

“I’m so fucked,” I nodded, coming to a bit of peace with my downfall.

“Well, you could be. If you told him how you feel,” JJ encouraged.

“No way in hell,” I protested, shooting my head up to make eye contact with her.

“____, there is a very, very high chance he feels the same. And if he doesn’t -- which he does -- he’s too sweet to let that impact your friendship.”

“We hardly even have a friendship. Whenever he tries to talk to me I end up running away. He probably thinks I hate him or something. He probably wants nothing to do with me.”

No objection from Emily or JJ there.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Emily asked, changing the pace of the conversation.

“He never speaks to me again. I die of embarrassment.”

“You’re both adults, ____.”

“We are 27!” I shook my head, exasperated. “I hardly even feel like one sometimes.”

“27, exactly. I’m sure by now Reid has gained some experience with talking to women. You’ll be fine.”

“I have absolutely no way of knowing how things will go.”

“Just give him little tests,” JJ suggested. “Like touch him. On the shoulders, compliment him more, really go up to him and make a move. That way if he doesn’t feel the same you can play it off as being platonic.”

I groaned and rested my head on the table dramatically. “You both kinda suck at advice. What am I supposed to do? Waltz into our shared room and confess my love for him? Ask him desperately to dick me down?”

Even though I definitely wanted to.

They laughed at that, saying they were going to bed and wished me luck. Emily advised I should try and ‘get some’ from somebody else, and maybe that would take my mind off of things.

After stalling some more I eventually made my way back to the hotel room, hoping that Spencer was already asleep so I wouldn’t have to face him. But once again, luck wasn’t in my favour.

“Hi,” he spoke softly from his bed.

“Why are you still awake?” I asked, trying my best to stifle a yawn. I threw my sweater down on my bed, before grabbing my go-bag and retrieving my pyjamas from it. “It’s almost one in the morning.”

“I wanted to make sure you got back okay.”

“I told you not to wait up. Naughty boy,” I joked, finally turning my attention fully over to him.

Which could've been a mistake, based on the way you saw it.

He was dressed in flannel pants and a black t-shirt, along with his hair tied up that I’d failed to notice earlier. I froze at the sight, seeing the way his cheeks were dusted a slight red, and lips pink as ever.

His hair was tied up, and I almost dropped dead at the sight. I’d never seen it before. Sure, he sometimes wore an elastic band on his wrist during the work days but never have I seen him actually use one.

“I’m gonna shower and then head to bed,” I said in an effort to keep my voice steady.

He didn’t respond, only turning his head back to the book that was in his hand.

Thankfully when I returned he was asleep, meaning I didn’t have to see him before bed.

The next day was torturous. I couldn’t get the image of him out of my head. The view of him so relaxed on his bed was ethereal, the soft glow of the lamp hand illuminated his skin in all the right places. Did he pull his hair back often? Did he casually sit at home with it up? How did he look in different angles or positions? Are there other things he wears or does that I haven’t seen?

The image was just so domestic that I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to.

I was afraid to fall asleep, in fear that my dream may turn adventurous. Quitting my job and moving to a new city seems more preferable than having a sex dream about your coworker while they were in the room.

I was hyper aware of every move he made, always keeping tabs on him in the back of my mind so we wouldn’t accidentally run into each other.

Apparently when I was paying attention on how not to see him, I failed to notice how he had filled out recently. He wore looser pants in the past, ones that didn’t allow much shape to show through.

The next day at the precinct I was in for a surprise though, one that was sure to make me fall to my knees.

And I would have, if it wasn’t for the fact I was already seated in a chair.

Spencer walked in clad in pants that were far too tight to be appropriate for work. Or maybe I was overreacting.

“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath, soaking in his appearance of the day.

It was hot outside, so he decided not to wear his usual vest and tie combo, choosing instead just a white pattern button up and grey tie.

I heard Emily snicker beside me, which earned her a light kick in the calf to shut her up. She got up then, winking at me dramatically before leaving the room to presumably go check in with Derek.

“Hey ____, can you come here for a sec?”

I got up without a word, and walked over to the other side of the room where he was standing at the map hung up.

He went off about the unsub’s possible comfort zone -- things that I’d need him to repeat later because I wasn’t fully listening,

I stayed leaning against the table, just two feet behind him which gave me a perfect view of just how tight those pants really were. They hugged his hips deliciously, I wanted nothing more than to rip them off in that moment. I nodded along dumbly, changing my sight from his ass to his back, to his toned arms that were shown off from him rolling up his sleeves.

It was a fair sight, I don’t really think I could be blamed for staring.

A few weeks after that he got a haircut. His longer curls were gone -- yet not forgotten -- and were replaced with a mop of messy waves that framed his face perfectly.

It was like a new blow to my stomach every time I got used to the change.

“New haircut?” I asked the obvious on the first day back from a long weekend.

“Yeah...thought I should change it up,” Spencer replied, picking up his coffee mug to make himself a cup.

I nodded, the room settling in a short silence.

“Do you not like it?”

“No!” I exclaimed, Spencer furrowing his brows in response. “I mean, yes. I do like it. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay,” he laughed. “Thank you.”

“You could pull off any hairstyle, trust me,” I said, before walking back to my desk.

People that we met seemed to feel the same, because he got stopped more often at bars and at shops that were needed to visit. People would give him their numbers, leaving him a blushing mess. It got obnoxious, to the point where I was at my breaking point. My shoulders were always slumped, and my forehead creased with jealousy.

I stayed closer to him when the team went out, in an effort to get other girls to stop making moves on him.

They hadn’t noticed his beauty before, why should they get the privilege to advance on him now?

It was selfish, really. It may have been good for his self-confidence, but not so good for my own feelings.

I made sure to compliment him more often, telling him I liked his sweater vests, and ‘oh my Doctor Reid, is that a new tie?’ It was a win-win really, for both of us. I was building up my comfort level with him, and he knew that I did not, in fact, despise him.

When Spencer got shot on a case a few weeks later, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to show him that I care about him.

It was an easy job, since the bullet only semi-grazed his shoulder blade. Only needed deep cleaning once a night, for a few weeks so it wouldn’t get infected.

“Fuck,” he breathed with a groan, one that sent shivers throughout my veins.

“Sorry,” I answered quickly, keeping my gaze on the task at hand and not on his face that was just so close to mine.

Here I was in Spencer’s apartment, in his bathroom, helping him clean off his wound.

“I’m sorry but you need to stop moving, it’s just making things worse,” I explained.

“It hurts!”

“I’m sure it does! But I can’t do an effective job in cleaning it if you keep thrashing around like that.”

I saw him pout, and lower his head. The gears in his brain were turning, trying to come up with a possible solution.

“You’re going to need to hold me down.”

“What?!”

“I’m not gonna be able to stop moving,” he said, looking over his shoulder to where I was sitting behind him on the floor. “Come on.”

He stood up and left the room, gesturing for me to follow. And I did, collecting the supplies I’d need as he led me over to his living room.

Before I could protest he removed his shirt fully -- not like how it was bunched up by his neck previously.

I stopped in my tracks, eyes taking in every inch of skin that he freed. He was lean, as I predicted, but still toned in areas.

Spencer laid on his stomach down on the couch, motioning for me to come beside him.

“Get on my back.”

“Are you insane?”

“____,” he pleaded, looking up at me. His arms were crossed by his head, he was using them as a makeshift pillow. “I just want this to be over as fast as it can be.”

Right.

“Okay,” I agreed, and began to place my materials down on the coffee table to my right. I then swung a leg over his lower back, straddling him just how I’d imagine doing so before -- only the other way around. “Is this okay?”

He hummed, digging his face as far into the fabric of the couch as he could.

‘I got a lotta new tricks for you, baby

Just sayin' I'm flexible (I will)’

I took that as a yes, and poured some of the disinfectant onto a swab. Bracing myself with a hand on his other shoulder to pin him down firmly he shivered, breath shaking ever so slightly. I tried to catch him off guard with the swab, choosing a random time to press it into his wound.

He was definitely surprised, because he whined loudly into his hands and clenched all of the muscles in his back.

I couldn’t help but wonder if he made similar noises during other activities…

“Just a minute more,” I soothed him, running my free hand over the smooth skin of his back, doing my best to calm him down.

His breathing only became heavier, and was nearly shaking from the burn. I felt bad, having to see him go through this but I’d be lying if it wasn’t doing things to me. I couldn’t help but get a little bit excited when I got the chance to be near him, to be closer than we had ever been before.

It was intense, I was almost sure he could feel my arousal through the fabric of my pants and underwear.

I was an awful person.

Going home that night to sleep was a struggle. I felt guilty, for using his pain for my perverse temptations. Yet as soon as my fingers were buried inside myself I couldn’t stop myself from imagining him above me. The way he might sound, spewing out similar noises that I’d experienced earlier that were still fresh in my brain.

I wasn’t proud of it, and I thought every one of our interactions after that would be even harder.

Going back to work seemed fully impossible, I didn’t have any hope in myself to stay useful while he was parading around, completely oblivious to the effect he had on me. I became more sexually frustrated every day. It was nearly infuriating to see a look of innocence plastered on his face, meanwhile he would do things that made me go crazy.

‘Wanna know what it's like (like)

Baby, show me what it's like (like)

I don't really got no type (type)

I just wanna fuck all night’

“Penelope, I think I might die soon if I don’t get laid,” I said, rapidly opening the door to her cave.

“____-”

“No, I’m serious. I can’t get my mind off of-”

I stopped in my tracks, finally noticing the presence I hadn’t already accounted for.

Spencer sat in a chair to my left, just out of view that you couldn’t see him if you didn’t turn your head. He was in the middle of bringing a chip up to his mouth, but was stopped mid-air with his mouth hanging open.

“Sorry,” he said, scrambling up fast, bumping into things as he collected his satchel with shaky hands. “Sorry I’ll go.”

The door shut with a slam, and left Penelope and I in silence.

“Well, fuck,” I whispered, earning a booming laugh from her. “It’s not funny.”

“It is funny. It’s hilarious,” she giggled, doing a little spin on her chair.

I groaned, and sat down beside her on the edge of her desk.

“Maybe now he’ll make a move on you.”

“Oh shut up,” I slapped her arm, beginning to laugh along with her. “If he was avoiding me before, I’m sure he’ll never speak to me again.”

Ever since I helped Spencer with his injury the first time he’d been semi ignoring me, not trying to actively partake in conversation. We only talked when necessary, but didn’t exchange any extra words when I came over for an hour to help him with his wound.

I was almost happy about that, it meant I didn’t have to embarrassingly throw myself at him all day long.

I was perfectly fine admiring him from a distance, just how I’d done so for years.

However, there was a part of me that was rightfully sad. Did I cross a line, or make him feel uncomfortable? Maybe from spending so much time together recently he gathered I really wasn’t that interesting.

“Don’t say that,” Penelope frowned.

“Why not? It’s the truth,” I shrugged.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”

“How I feel?”

“Don’t even try and wedge your way out of it. Emily told me, don’t be mad,” she said, with the sweetest look on her face that I couldn’t be upset.

“Bitch,” I playfully mumbled.

“Besides you literally were about to say that you can’t get your mind off of him.”

“Uh, no, I was not. I was going to say someone. A general someone. Not Reid.”

She hummed, turning back to her screen to finish up some work Hotch had sent her to do.

“Okay fine. Pen, I’m gonna die. It’s insufferable. I can’t handle it anymore.”

“That’s exactly why you should tell him!” She encouraged excitedly, always a swooner for young love.

“I would scare him. He’s probably scared of me, actually.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure his little virgin heart can take it.”

“What?” I asked, suddenly giving her all my attention. “Virgin? Is he seriously a virgin?”

“I don’t know, truly. I just kinda figured. He doesn’t talk about anyone or anything to do with sex.”

I nodded. That makes sense. With him radiating pure sex appeal in my eyes, the thought never even crossed my mind that he might be a virgin.

But that just made it all the more exciting.

“But hey, if he’s really a 27 year old virgin I’m sure he’s extremely horny,” she laughed.

“We are at work. Let’s calm it down before I actually combust,” I shook my head.

My palms were sweating at the very thought of him doing anything remotely sexual -- which I thought about a lot. Surely he’s had to at least...taken care of himself. I’m sure it was a gorgeous sight, his hand wrapped firmly around his dick and face contorted in nothing but pleasure.

My thoughts were interrupted by none other than the man himself, who barged into the room to say we were taking off for a case in 30.

The flight there was quiet and boring, we left at night so there wasn’t so much we could do when we got there besides head up to our hotel.

“We’re sharing a room,” Spencer said, walking over to me from where he was previously with Derek.

I was standing in front of the vending machine, doing my very best to not eavesdrop on the mens’ conversation, which was only taking place about 20 feet away. Spencer was speaking in a hushed yet agitated tone, and Derek was matching his energy. It seemed they were bickering, but about what I didn’t know.

“Says who?” I panicked.

“Uhh...Hotch did.”

Great.

“Oh. Alright,” I followed him down the hallway, our room was the last one at the end.

I waited for him to open the door, and when he stepped out of the way to let me inside I brushed past him.

When I turned around Spencer was standing there blocking my path, causing me to bump into his chest.

“Hello...” I said confused, taking a step back.

“I…”

“What?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. “Spencer what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer with words, instead reaching up to push a piece of hair out of my face. My breath hitched at the contact, sending me into a short frenzy on the inside. He was inching closer, now his body was getting just close enough so that I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was glancing back and forth between my eyes, searching my face for an expression of discomfort.

He didn’t find any.

“I was talking with Derek. About you,” he whispered. “He said you’ve been coming on to me.”

My heart nearly missed a beat at his words.

“I've noticed your odd behaviour, you don’t act the way you do with anyone else on the team. You run away from me, and at first I thought you just didn’t like me, but now...I think it’s the opposite. I see the way you look at me, you know.”

“And how do I look at you?” I questioned nervously.

“Like you want me. Tell me. Who were you talking about earlier today? Who exactly can’t get your mind off of?”

I paused, eyes almost bulging out of my head at the implication.

“If I'm reading this wrong, let me know. We can pretend this never happened.”

“Get on the bed and take your clothes off.”

He did just that, moving beside me to shove his pants down his legs, followed by ripping off his shirt, as I did the same. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other, too busy drinking in our appearances to think straight. He sat down on the edge of the bed in just his underwear, and spread his legs just wide enough to give me space to stand between them.

“Tell me what you want.” he breathed, watching me as I walked towards him.

“You,” I answered simply, climbing into his lap and connecting my mouth was his. “All of you.”

He didn’t protest, only doing quite the opposite. He moaned greedily into my mouth, sucking every last bit of life out of me. He was hungry in his movements, not allowing for a single beat of fresh air for either of us. I was more than happy to return the energy, for I’ve dreamt for too long about what he might taste like. And it wasn’t disappointing, the sensation was far better than I could have ever cooked up in my head.

After a minute he became impatient, and started bucking his hips up to meet mine. I did the same, grinding down on his hardening dick that felt...impressive to say the least.

“I’ve thought about you for so long,” I spoke against his lips, taking a break between kisses.

He groaned back at me, moving his hands from my cheeks down to my hips to hold me flush against himself. He whimpered when I was fully against him, he had to break away to keep his breathing somewhat managed.

“Please, I need you so bad. I’ve thought about you too.”

“What exactly did you think about?” I asked quietly, trailing kisses all across his face, and then started heading down his jaw and neck.

“L-lots of stuff.”

“Tell me,” I demanded, looking up at him from my new position kneeling on the floor. “Please, tell me.”

I brought a hand up to his boxers, ghosting just over his bulge while remaining eye contact.

“Everything. All of you. ____, Please.”

‘You're exciting, boy, come find me

Your eyes told me, "Girl, come ride me"’

“Let me do something first,” I said, pushing against his stomach to encourage him to lie back on the bed. He did so, propping himself up on his forearms to look down at me.

He watched my every move, not a second was missed by his eyes that stayed locked onto my form. I dropped my head down to kiss across his left thigh, and toyed with the waistband of his underwear with my right hand.

He was so vocal, and I hadn’t even done anything yet. I knew we had all night, but I’d waited too long for this to take my time.

‘And we got a lotta time (time)

Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’

I pulled his underwear down just enough to reveal his dick hard and red as it stood up against his stomach.

“You don’t...have to,” Spencer stopped me before I could carry on.

“Do you not want me to?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just…” He stopped, and bit his lip while staring off to one of the walls.

“Has anyone ever done this with you before?” I asked, almost unsure of whether or not I wanted the answer.

“Done what...exactly?” he asked, refusing to look back at me. His cheeks were red in embarrassment, and he was too focused on the distance to see the wave of excitement that flashed over my face.

“Spencer,” I said sharply, prompting him to turn his attention back to me. “Are you a virgin?”

His lack of answer told me enough. He blushed impossibly deeper, and started squirming in place. Just as he was about to speak up for himself I stopped him with, “That’s so fucking hot.”

“What?”

I climbed back up his body, just far enough so that I could grab his jaw in my hand and pull him down to meet my lips. It was even more hungry and passionate than the previous ones we shared, full of such fire I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to kiss anyone else ever again.

“You’re so sexy,” I moaned, hot and needy into his mouth.

He was good, which wasn’t unexpected from my end. His lips were always so plump and pink, they just had to be semi skilled.

“Thank you,” he replied, in a typical Spencer Reid fashion.

“Do you want to stop? Or keep going? Take a minute and think about it. I don’t want to pressure you,” I reassured him, but on the inside I was begging for him to want to continue.

He pulled back for a second, running a hand over the back of my head to keep me from going too far. His eyes were closed, focusing only on his breathing as he thought about his answer.

“I want to keep going. Please,” he decided on, nodding his head. “I just, I dunno, didn’t expect to get this far tonight.”

“Believe me, neither did I,” I smirked, smashing my lips back against his and returning to my spot kneeling between his legs. I pushed him back harder than before, sending a small oof sound from his chest as his back hit the mattress.

“Has anyone ever touched you here?” I asked, finally wrapping my hand around his dick,

It only made sense that a pretty boy like him would have a pretty cock, too.

“O-only once,” he breathed, with his head thrown back. He was staring at the ceiling, staring at the dots to distract himself from the feeling and to not come too soon. “Long time ago.”

“If you need me to stop, tell me,” I said, before licking a broad strip up the underside of his dick.

I paused at the head, swirling my tongue around before continuing my mission back down around the other side. I kissed his base, leaving more near his hips. He whined positively -- probably feeling a little ticklish -- and I took that as a good sign to suck a deep purple mark there.

Just like I’d thought about doing months ago.

I left a few more just up to his belly button, marking him up with the intent to claim him as my own. He’d see those marks for the next few days, and every time he would think of me on my knees for him. I kept pumping him in my hand as I did so, and every time I groaned into his skin his dick twitched with appreciation.

“Oh god,” Spencer moaned as I took him into my mouth unexpectedly, bunching up the sheets in his hands beside his hips.

I looked up to see him now staring down at me, jaw slacked and panting heavily. The sight was enough to elicit a moan from my own mouth, which led to him fluttering his eyes shut at the vibrations that shot through his body.

“Stop, stop!”

“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, immediately pulling up.

“Nothing, I just really want to feel you and I don’t think I can last much longer.”

Understandable.

I wasn’t expecting him to last long anyways, I just simply wanted him inside me.

“Do you happen to have a condom?” He shook his head. “I’m clean and on the pill. We should be fine. Is that okay?”

He mumbled an ‘uh huh’ as he watched me stand up, as I pushed my underwear down my legs. He immediately reached out to me, bringing me back in and starting placing kisses across my stomach and hips, mirroring what I was doing to him earlier.

“Good, because if you don’t fuck me right now I think I might die.”

‘Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)

Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)’

He laughed lightheartedly, fixing himself to be sitting up near the headboard. In the process he kicked off his boxers fully, along with his socks.

I followed after him, not letting him stray too far from my reach.

“I heard that women take longer to, erm, get ready,” he muttered into my skin, hiding his face in my neck. “Let me help you?”

“Please,” I whimpered, though I knew I was far from unprepared. I reached behind myself to unclasp my bra, and as soon as it fell down my shoulders Spencer attached his mouth to my left nipple. “Please touch me.”

He moaned into me, bringing his hand down to my core to run his fingers through my folds. He let his middle breach me, moving so agonizingly slow before curling his finger up. I moaned loudly, letting my eyes shut and body fall slack against him. His free arm wrapped around my waist, giving me the support I needed to stay upright.

“So that’s your g-spot?” He grinned against my skin, and I’d be damned to admit it affected me way more than it should have. He sounded so innocent, so eager to learn.

“Uh-huh.”

He explored my skin greedily, brushing over every inch of my chest he could reach. His thrusts became faster every time he re-entered me, encouraged by the grunt that fell from my lips with each one.

“Have you ever done this with a girl before?”

“No,” he replied, moving from my breasts to my collarbone, leaving a dark purple mark in his path.

“Could've fooled me,” I felt him smile against my neck at the praise -- duly noted.

He flipped us over swiftly -- much to my surprise -- and continued with his actions on both my clit and entrance. I did my best to stay quiet, biting down on his shoulder to prevent any noises from leaking out to stop him from getting too cocky.

“Spencer,” I moaned, raking my fingernails up and down his back. “Stop. Please fuck me now, I’m ready.”

“Are you sure you want to? We can stop,” he reassured me in a voice that seemed far too innocent for the activities taking place.

“Spencer, I’m sure. I’m so fucking sure you have no idea.”

I was so turned on I could cry, the pure want running through my veins was starting to send panic signals throughout my whole body. Before I could beg him any further he replaced his fingers with his dick, catching me off guard. He ran the tip over me for a few seconds before gliding in easily, with little to no restriction at all.

“Ah!” I called, gripping onto his shoulder for dear life.

“I’m so sorry, oh my god did I hurt you?” Spencer asked frantically, removing his weight from me and tried sitting up.

“No. God please move, I need you so bad,” I pleaded, pulling him back down before he could get too far away.

He nodded. He started slow. So slowly that I wanted to scream and beg at the top of my lungs for more. However I was above giving him the satisfaction of that -- at least for now.

“You feel so good,” Spencer panted, hips shaking as he slid in and out at a torturous pace.

I pulled his lips back to mine for another kiss, drinking in everything he was willing to offer. I whined every time his body rubbed against my clit in a way that had my toes curling and eyes rolling back.

“This is so much better than I’ve imagined,” I moaned, breaking free from his mouth to lay back against the pillows. I wrapped my legs around his waist, aiding him with the speed of his thrusts. “Please, Spence, oh my god go harder.”

He moaned loudly, and lowered his head to my collarbone in an effort to muffle some of the noises he was letting out.

He followed my directions well -- and I took notes for the future.

The sounds of him bouncing off the walls was amplifying my pleasure to a new degree, it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. His hips snapped forward impossibly faster, leaving him a whimpering mess above me. Our chests were pressed together, the sound of skin slapping and gliding over each other filled the dimly lit room.

“You’re doing so good for me,” I whispered into his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses here and there.

He moaned freely at all of the praise, and every time I urged him on he’d pick up his speed a little bit. He was now moving faster than I thought I could handle, slamming into me at the perfect angle.

I felt him everywhere. In my stomach, insides of my thighs, chest -- where he was now palming at one of my breasts -- and the crook of my neck. I hugged my arms around his middle to keep him locked against me, preventing his hips from heavily backing out.

“I’m really close,” He groaned, lifting his head to meet my eyes. “S-should I pull out now?”

“No,” I demanded, tightening my legs to keep him trapped. “Come inside me.”

He nodded with a particularly loud moan, and snaked one hand down my body to meet my clit. When I gave a sound of approval he quickened his wrist, rubbing me with just the right amount of pressure to send me closer to the edge.

He came with a final shout in my name, resting his full body weight against me as I rocked my him against him to help him through it. I finished soon after, at the feeling of him releasing himself in me. It was so warm, like a comforting blanket that overtook all of my senses.

It was possibly the best orgasm I’d ever had, it was so profound that I couldn’t see, or focus on anything else.

We laid there for a few minutes, my hand running through his hair and his ghosting up the side of my hip. It took a while for us both to catch our breaths, we were too immersed in the moment to break apart from one another.

“That was literally the best sex I’ve had in my life,” I breathed, staring up at the ceiling.

“Same, but I don’t have anything to compare it to,” Spencer replied, and we both laughed weakly.

“That was okay for you? Your first time? Not really the traditional approach.”

“It was perfect. I wouldn’t have asked for anything different,” he pulled himself up with a smile, before pulling out and flopping down beside me.

“But seriously,” I sat up, resting my head on my palm to get a better view of him. “I’ve never been so attracted to someone as I am with you.”

“____,” he blushed. “I-”

“No! No, let me finish. Please.”

He nodded for me to go ahead.

“Not only are you just insanely sweet and so charming, you’re so handsome. Like I can hardly even look at you half the time. You drive me insane, Spencer you have no idea. Holy fuck I’ve never wanted someone so bad before I met you. You’re intoxicating. I can’t get enough. I’ll cringe about this later but I just need you to know.”

“This may not be the most common way...but do you want to go out with me? L-like on a date?” Spencer asked. He was blushing so heavily, his chest was painted pink and ears were turned red.

“You just came inside of me and you’re nervous about asking me on a date.”

“____!” Spencer exclaimed, facepalming himself.

“Yes,” I grinned. “I’d love to go out with you.”

-----

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[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter 6

ok, I know it's been a while. I'm sorry for the long time in between posts. I'm working on several stories at once, or at least trying to, while also trying to get accustomed to a promotion and new job responsibilities at work. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me. I really appreciate you all. My work is no to be reposted anywhere without my permission.

Pairing: Poe Dameron X Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Violence, panic, Poe being soft, Bryce being a dick. I think we can just assume that will be a permanent tag.

Series Master List

Chapter Five

You try to sit up with a strangled scream, but you end up bouncing your head off the plastic dome monitoring your vitals.

“Hey, it’s okay.” A voice to your left says. The voice is… familiar, but it’s not the one you really wanted to hear. But at the same time, you’re grateful you don’t hear that voice.

You roll your head to see Bryce, your boyfriend. He’s your boyfriend. He won’t hurt you. You can relax.

Why aren’t you relaxing?

“You’re safe now. Back home where you belong.” He says gently, reaching for your hand. You flinch away and he frowns, pausing.

“S-sorry.” You rasp, closing your eyes.

“It’s cool.” He lifts the dome and moves to get your clothes at the foot of the table. “Come on. Get dressed, we’ll get you something to eat.” He says, setting them next to you.

You try to speak again, but your voice is just as rough, only this time you don’t know if it’s from being quiet for so long, or the raw emotions destroying you. You clear your throat painfully. “H-how’s Poe?” You ask, nearly stuttering over his name.

“Dameron is fine. Been annoying all the women ever since he got back.” Bryce rolls his eyes. He doesn’t catch the way you shrink in on yourself as you sit up.

So, Poe doesn’t...want to...see you. The words struggle in your mind. He’s… he’s probably trying to forget what you did to him. No wonder he doesn’t want to see you.

“Can you step outside so I can get dressed?” You ask quietly.

“Babe, it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” He says and you lower your head. “Fine. Just, don’t take too long. I’m starving.” He says, walking out and shutting the door loudly behind you. You jump at the sudden snap of it and squeeze your eyes shut.

You can’t handle the commissary right now. It’s always packed full of people, loud, claustrophobic. You carefully get dressed, trying not to notice all the new marks on your body. You’re careful of the fresh stitches covering your arms, legs, stomach, and back. Careful not to pull the bandages holding you together.

You’re dressed faster than you want to be, stepping carefully out of the room. It still doesn’t feel safe, it feels like you should be hiding. You tug the long sleeves down further, wishing you had more to cover you.

“Come on.” He slings his arm around your shoulders and you tense as the weight settles on you. “I missed you.” He says softly, but you don’t feel comforted by his words. They turn to ice in your veins. He practically has to drag you along, your nerves stretching and spiking with each step, with every noise.

“I-I’m not hungry.” You protest, trying to dig your heels in. You can hear the loud room from here.

“Y/N, you have to eat.” He says firmly.

“N-n—“ you stammer, trying to push away from him. He sighs and scoops you up over his shoulder, carrying you along easily. Pain flares through you as your stitches pull. He’s not careful with you. Either he doesn’t know, or he doesn’t care. You try to struggle, you don’t care if he drops you. At least then you could get away.

“Y/N, I swear to the Maker, stop struggling. These are your friends. They want to know you’re okay.”

“What if I’m not?” You snap, the fear boiling over. You want to go to your room. You want to hide. You want to be alone. You want Poe.

He stops and considers for a minute before continuing on. “You can’t hide forever, Y/N.”

“Bryce, please, please!”

He walks inside and sets you down none too gently in a chair at a table full of people. “Look who’s finally awake.” He says loudly. Your teeth jar, biting down on your tongue from the abrupt impact.

There are five whole heartbeats where everyone is just staring at you. Something claws its way up your throat in the eerie silence, and then everything just explodes.

Voices, chairs moving, hands touching you, patting you on the shoulder, or touching your leg. The lights get too bright, you can’t see anything. You feel like they’re all climbing on top of you, too much weight. You can’t breathe. You try to suck in a breath, but it’s like your lungs won’t expand.

You bolt.

You’re not proud of it, but you shove through all the people and fly for the door. Blind twists and turns down hallways you don’t remember seeing, and couldn’t remember in the moment. You can barely hear your name being shouted behind you, but you can’t stop, can’t look back. You just know you’ve ripped stitches in your thighs, and stomach. You don’t care. Your only thought is escape. Hyper flight mode.

A hand grabs you from the darkness, pulling you in and pinning you against the wall. You fight, slapping and hitting against your assailant as you sob, gasping raggedly.

“Y/N! It’s me, stop it!!” Poe shouts, grabbing your wrists. “It’s Poe, it’s me. Stop.” He says, holding your hands against his chest until you stop fighting him.

You think you gasp his name, your legs give out on you and you sink to your knees in front of him, sobbing. He doesn’t let go of your wrists, just loosens his grip. Relief washes through you as you realize who it is.

“Breathe. Just breathe. Big, slow breaths for me, sweetheart.” He whispers, slowly kneeling in front of you.

“P-Poe—“

“I know. Sh, it’s okay. I’m right here.” He wraps his arms around you tightly, hugging you to him.

He shouldn’t be doing this for you, not after everything you put him through. Guilt roils through you, choking off your air. You start to pull away but he doesn’t let go. His fingers braid in your disheveled hair and you can’t help but sink into him a little more.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I wanted to be.” He exhales in a rush, burying his face in your hair.

“Why—why would you want that?” You hiccup, keeping your face away from him.

“Because you’re my best friend? Why would you think I wouldn’t want to be there?”

“B-because,” you try taking a deep breath.

He seems to realize that you’re shivering on the cold ground. “Let’s get out of here. Do you wanna go back to medbay or your room?” He asks, easing you out of his arms and standing up.

You hesitate, suddenly not knowing how to ask him to stay. It’s selfish, you know it is, after everything you’ve put him through, to want him to suffer even longer.

“I don’t think I was actually discharged.” You mumble, pulling yourself to your feet on your own. It’s a massive effort.

He makes a noise in the back of his throat and steps to the door. He looks up and down the hallway before looking back at you. “It’s all clear.”

“I don’t even know what part of the complex I’m in.” You admit, dropping your head back. In the forest, you knew exactly where to go. But on a planet you’ve called home for how long? You’re lost.

Useless.

“Okay. Come on.” He holds out his hand and you’re so tempted to take it. But you don’t. Instead, you walk to the door with him and carefully slip out without touching him. You’ve done enough damage.

He follows after a small minute and leads you down the hallway. “You never answered my question.” He starts suddenly and you look up at him. His face has too many cuts, a deep bruise under his eye, a split lip. It hurts you to look at him. More guilt.

It’s your fault.

You could pretend to be ignorant. Not remember the question to stall for time. Claim sudden hearing loss. But you never could lie to him, and you don’t want to start now. You know exactly what question.

“I didn’t think you would want to be there. Not when this whole thing is my fa-fault.” You mumble, your voice cracking on the last word. You hate yourself for putting him through this. You hate yourself for feeling like a damsel in distress and not being able to fight back the way you should have.

He stops walking and stares at you. His forehead crinkled in confusion.

“You think—“ he starts, his voice incredulous, but is promptly cut off by a medical droid beeping angrily at you.

“Yeah, got it. Back to bed.” You mumble, taking one last look at a stunned Poe before following the droid the rest of the way.

The droid gets you back into a medical bed, looking almost as if it wants to restrain you to keep you there. You clutch your hands to your chest, not wanting to be restrained.

“I won’t go anywhere.” You promise. The droid beeps and rolls away, the door sliding shut behind it. You cross your legs and lay back, wincing at the pull in your ribs. On the list of things that hurt, the ribs are kind of low. But they’re drawing the most attention at the moment. The droid comes back after a moment, making quick work of fixing your stitches, hopefully for the last time. It rolls away and you’re left in agonizing silence. You stare at the ceiling, counting the cracks.

The door opens again and Leia walks in. You freeze, wondering what she could possibly want from you. Poe’s words flash through your mind. Do you think Leia is sobbing uncontrollably right now? She certainly looks tired, but not necessarily like she was heartbroken that you were gone for… for… you can’t remember how long you were in that place. You break out into a sweat. What else have you forgotten?

“Y/N,” she starts solemnly. “I’m so glad you’re back with us and awake.” She sits on the edge of your bed and you don’t know if this is protocol or not. Is it normal? You don’t say anything, you simply wait for her to continue, she’ll get to her point eventually. “Poe told me about what happened, I’d like your report as well, whenever you feel up to it. I know you must still be exhausted.” She says.

So, all business.

She probably didn’t even notice you weren’t there.

You nod once. You can be all business, too. “I’ll have it for you by tomorrow.” You say and she blinks.

“I didn’t mean—“

“You need it. You’ll have it.”

“Poe told me you were incredibly brave.” She says, watching your face as she speaks. She’s clearly looking for something.

“He—“ you cut off. You had been about to say that he exaggerates, or was lying. But then she would think that she can’t trust her most loyal commander. She slowly arches an eyebrow as you struggle to think. “He’s too kind. I was terrified. Did more harm than good.”

“Hmm. Well, in any case. I know you’re still healing. Bacta is useful, but it can’t heal everything overnight. Get some rest.” She stands up. “And,” she pauses and turns back to you. “If you need to talk, about anything at all, I’m here to listen.” She says pointedly. You nod once and she heads for the door, stopping only long enough for it to hiss open.

You slump back against the pillows, gritting your teeth against the sudden pain. It’s odd how sometimes you don’t feel it at all, and other times it’s all you can feel. You feel like you’ve been going nonstop for days and days. You need to think, to rest. You need to stand up to Bryce next time. You’re not just a scientist, you’re a damn good pilot-only second to Poe, and you’re one of the best shots on base. He can’t just push you around like he did.

You need to think, sort out what was real and what was panic. You close your eyes and try to hold as still as possible. The faces are the faces of your friends, this isn’t some First Order trick. They aren’t trying to hurt you.

But… then… Why was Poe shouting when he got off the ship? Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Maybe you really are losing your mind.

The door hisses open and you jerk upright, instantly grabbing your side. Bryce tosses his jacket onto the chair next to your bed and crosses his arms, turning slowly to glare at you.

“Was that fun for you? You made me look like an idiot out there.” He snaps and you want to hurl something heavy at his head.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m tired.” You say, wishing there was a more final way to say that, like shutting a door in his face.

“You just slept for three days!” He shouts, throwing his hands up.

“Get. Out!” You shove yourself off your bed, ignoring the screaming pain in your ribs and back. “Get the fucking fuck out! I told you I wasn’t kriffing ready but you didn’t fucking listen. You never fucking listen! I just want some peace. Maker!” You shove him backwards through the door, bouncing it off its track. You feel the pop in your wrist, burning hot pain flares up your arm. “For once in your life, try to see things from someone else’s perspective.” You snap, going back into your room.

“Whoa, hey. I’m sorry, okay?”

You pick up the heavy decoration on the side table and throw it as hard as you can. If he hadn’t moved his stupidly perfect head, it would have hit him right in the face. Unfortunately, he does move and it crashes into the floor behind him, breaking into pieces. Good, more ammo for next time.

“I don’t want to hear your apologies! I want. To be. Alone!”

He holds up his hands and backs down the hallway. You walk around to the other side of the bed, sinking to the floor so that no one will see you. Your hands are trembling as you try to breathe. Your sides begin to ache for another reason altogether, and you realize you aren’t even breathing because you’re trying not to cry.

You let out a ragged gasp, covering your face in humiliation. Rocking forward, you rest your face on the ground, letting yourself hurt with every silent sob. You deserve all the pain. A curious beep reaches your ears and you cover your mouth, forcing yourself to keep quiet. You know, somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to get your new injuries checked out. You definitely did damage to your wrist. You feel a droid roll to a stop next to you, but you're not under control yet.

They beep softly again and nudge you with their big round base. You lift your head to see the familiar orange and white pattern of Poe’s droid, BB8. He rotates his lens up to look at you, and somehow, despite being metal and made of parts, he shows sympathy, worry, concern. He wants to know if you’re okay, if his friend is okay. Your vision goes blurry as your eyes flood with tears all over and he rolls forward, nestling right against your chest. You grip his headpiece, lowering your forehead against it and resting there, shoulders shaking and stomach cramping from the uncomfortable position. But you can’t bring yourself to move just yet.

***

Your head slips to the side and you jerk up, hitting your head against the edge of your bed. BB8 looks up at you, bless his circuit board. He would have stayed there with you for hours if you hadn’t woken yourself up. You wipe your tears and drool off his head.

“Sorry, buddy.” You whisper, voice not wanting to go higher than that. “You should get back to Poe. I’m sure he’s looking for you.”

His head tilts, question unasked in the quiet air.

“I’ll be okay. Thank you, for checking on me, I mean.”

He beeps a rapid-fire and rolls away in search of his master, or is friend a better description at this point? You twist, pulling yourself up and seeing Bryce sitting on the floor in the hallway. His eyes are closed as he rests his head against the wall.

With a sigh, you page for a med droid to come in and check on you. You lay back on your bed, closing your eyes while you wait. You didn’t mean to fall asleep on the poor droid.

Your wrist is checked out and bound. Already on the edge of breaking, shoving your stupid boyfriend pushed it over the edge. The droid tsks about not getting it taken care of right away before wheeling away.

“Can I come in now?” Bryce asks from the hallway.

“No. I’m still mad.” You reply, rolling over. It’s cool in here, settling in your bones in an unfamiliar way. You reach towards the end of the bed for a blanket before you realize there isn’t one there. With a huff, you get up and look around for one with no success.

“What are you looking for?” He asks, pushing himself up with a quiet grunt.

“A blanket. I’m freezing.” You reply, digging through the supply locker in the room.

“I’ll go get you one.” He turns around and disappears, leaving you to settle back down. You can hear those familiar beeps coming down the hallway and that voice you’ve come to depend on since you were taken follows it.

“Yeah, buddy, I know. Always rubbing it in.” Poe sighs.

Bryce comes back, spreading a heavy blanket over you before stepping back awkwardly. “Thanks. I’m sure you have something you need to be doing, Bryce. I’ll be here.” You say, more gently this time and he presses a tender kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll come see you after my shift. We’ll talk then and you can yell at me all you want, okay?” He promises.

You nod, laying your head down on the pillow as he leaves. You can see his shoulders tense as he sees Poe coming towards him. You can hear the little droid beeping in outrage but Poe shushes him.

“Is she awake?” He asks.

“She’s resting. You shouldn’t be here, anyway. Haven’t you done enough, Dameron?” Bryce snaps.

What? No. He’s not to blame! You are!

“Bryce. Go to work.” You call and he looks over his shoulder at you, unable to get rid of the coldness completely before he turns on his heel and storms off.

Poe waits until he can’t see him anymore before coming into your room. “Hi.” He says after a minute and your lips twitch.

“Hi.”

“Have a good nap?” He asks as BB8 chirps next to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep him here for so long.” You mumble.

Poe snorts. “He’s not sorry, bragged about it for at least ten minutes.” He rolls his eyes and you scoot over on the bed carefully. He eases himself down and takes your newly bandaged hand. “What happened?” He asks with a frown.

“I wasn’t careful. Typical me.” You scoff derisively.

He’s quiet for a long time, his handsome face going through a wide range of emotions as he traces the outline of your fingers. The feeling of it is relaxing, soothing you. Everything about him is comforting, just like he’s always been. Even though you don’t deserve his compassion, his forgiveness.

“Poe,” you start, capturing his hand, even though you could conceivably let him keep doing that forever.

“I have so many things I want to say to you.” He starts, his voice crumpled.

You take a deep breath and nod, steeling yourself for the inevitable. It’s going to hurt, it will break your heart, but he should say it. Tell you he hates you for kissing him, for distracting him, for getting him caught, and all the terrible things that came after it.

“You sa-said before that this is all your fault.” He starts, his eyes very firmly on your hands wrapped around his.

“Because it is.” You answer and his beautiful brown eyes squeeze shut.

“How can you even think that?” His voice cracks and you’ve never seen him so close to tears before. This is the man that’s perpetually in a good mood, everything is an opportunity to make you laugh. Even in the face of certain harm, he’s making jokes.

“Poe, I distracted you. I—“ you glance at the door to look for potential eavesdroppers. “In the river, I ki—“

He covers your mouth softly. You could easily pull his hand away, but you don’t. “We were on a planet where the most dangerous thing was supposed to be a giant butterfly. There was no way to know, no indication of anyone else being on the planet. You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart.” He says. You can hear the sincerity in his voice, but you can’t stop the feeling that he’s wrong. You did everything wrong. “And… we don’t have to… to talk about that thing in the river… if you don’t want to.” He stammers, scratching at the back of his neck.

You want to. You want to do it again. But you can’t. Your fingers flex in his before pulling them back against your torso, cutting off all touch with his warm body.

“Leia came to see me earlier.” You change the subject without giving him an answer. You’re not ready to close the book yet, but you can’t open it yet, either.

“Yeah. I gave my debrief.” He says, sounding a little deflated.

“You lied.” You correct and his head snaps up.

“What?”

“You told her I was brave. That was a big, fat lie.” You say and he rolls his eyes.

“You’re impossible.” He takes your hand again. His touch is feather-light, soft, and delicate as he strokes the back of your hand, following the length of your fingers.

“I don’t think she cried.” You say suddenly and he looks up at you.

“Come again?”

“You asked if I thought Leia sobbed uncontrollably while we were gone. I don’t think she even got a stuffy nose.” Your voice turns dark, your secret angry thought slipping out before you can stop it.

“You think she didn’t care?” Poe asks.

“Did you find out how long we were gone?”

“Yeah. Three weeks.” He says, practically choking on it.

“Two weeks over what we were supposed to be gone. You don’t think that’s odd? She didn’t send anyone after her best pilot?”

“Y/N, she has a lot of different responsibilities, to more than just us. We had no contact with anyone prior. How would they have found us? They didn’t have our information yet. They would have been just as lost as we were.” He reasons.

“Ground exploration on a new planet should have more than two people. No matter how good one of them is.” You pull your hand back, angry now.

You don’t want to be angry, not with Poe, of all people. But you can’t stop yourself. He’s rolling over and playing lapdog for his perfect princess, same as he always does. Your cheeks burn with anger.

Hurt crosses his face, his hands suspended where they were. “Both. She sent two of her best people. She sent you, and me because we work so well together. Because we could get it done much faster, quieter, better than anyone else on this base.” He says and your heart wavers.

You don’t want to cause him any more pain. You take a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, I think I just need sleep.” The words sound stiff, forced.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asks, but you shake your head.

“No. I’m just gonna catch a few hours and then get to work on the report for Leia.”

“No, I already did that.” He corrects.

“She asked me for one.”

“I debriefed so you wouldn’t have to go through it again.” He clenches his hands. “I’ll take care of it.” He promises.

“I don’t mind. It might give her a better idea of what a rotten liar you are.” You say, trying to joke.

“I didn’t lie.” He huffs, leaning down and pressing the softest kiss to your forehead. “I’ll leave BB8 with you if you need anything. Come find me when you wake up?”

“Promise.” Your voice cracks at just the wrong moment and he stills, looking down at you.

“I can stay. Just like in the cave.” He offers.

“Go away.”

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and stands up. “What happened to the door?” He asks.

“I shoved Bryce through it.” You admit and he breaks out into a grin.

“That’s my girl.” He praises before walking through it.

You have to stop yourself from calling him back, from begging him to stay with you. It’s not that you don’t trust anyone else here, they are your friends. But, Poe would understand. He knows what you went through, he understands what it was like. He won’t judge you for being upset. When you lost your temper with him just now, he didn’t get mad, he talked you down.

No, Poe Dameron understands better than anyone what emotions you’re going through right now. He goes through them on a daily basis and has for a long time.

***

You can’t look at him. Every time you do, another wave of guilt threatens to drown you. You kissed him. You kissed him. You have a boyfriend back home, missing you and you went and kissed your best friend. And worse, got said best friend captured by the enemy.

Now, he’s furious with you. Hasn’t said a word in hours. You can’t remember the last thing he said. Did he shush you? Was it your name? You can’t remember. Tears blur your vision as you try to twist your face away from him.

“Shit. Y/N,” he starts. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. I’ll get us out of this.” He promises.

And just the fact that he thinks that’s what you’re upset about is blindingly frustrating. And that he feels the need to fix your fuck up.

“Why don’t they just kill us?” You ask, forcing the tears not to fall.

“They probably want information on the Resistance.” He clenches his jaw. “Y/N, I never wanted to have to say this to you, but no matter what they do to you, you can’t talk. You can’t tell them anything.” He pleads.

You nod. “Okay. I won’t say anything.” You promise weakly. The idea of being tortured is so out of your realm, you don’t know what to expect. But Poe seems to know something at the very least.

He curses again and you look back at his face. “I promise. I promise I’ll get us out of this.” He thrashes against the metal restraints on the upright table and you worry he’s going to hurt himself.

“I’ll be okay, Poe.” You whisper, but he squeezes his eyes shut.

The door behind you opens and a StormTrooper walks in. You can’t tell if it’s one of the same ones from the forest, but it doesn’t matter. This one is carrying a tray with a cloth covering it.

“Ready to begin?” He asks, voice modulated to fit your nightmares. “Where is your base of rebel scum?” He asks, slowly removing the cloth and picking up a thin blade. He turns towards Poe, sliding the knife under the silver chain around your partner’s neck. His mother’s ring, beautiful as it glints in the light, slowly rotates into view. Poe struggles slightly, giving his restraints another hard yank, but he gets nowhere. The stormtrooper curls his fingers around it, tugging and popping the chain free. He tosses it into the dank corner and it disappears from view. Poe snarls until the trooper lifts the glittering knife again and turns his helmet towards you. You can feel him studying you, sizing you up.

“I said, where is your base of rebel scum?”

Poe looks over at you, and you can see the worry in his eyes. Will he start with you? Or with Poe? When neither of you answers, he turns and slashes out at your best friend. You cry out, thinking he cut his throat, but instead, there’s a small cut on his cheekbone.

“I haven’t got anywhere to be. Let’s begin again.” He says evenly and your stomach clenches uncomfortably.

***

You sit up with a ragged gasp, clutching at your face. Blindly, you find the medical droid and sign yourself out, grabbing the blanket and heading through the halls for the one person you want to see. BB8 rolls after you, chirping quietly. You feel for the chain in your pocket, the weight of it is comforting.

You knock quietly on the door. It’s so late, you shouldn’t be here. The door slides open and he's there in front of you, exhausted and very much alive. He holds out his arms and you step easily into them, heartbeat finally settling.

Poe.

He walks you back inside and lays down on his bed without a single word. No teasing, no jokes. Just him being there for you like always. You wait until he’s comfortable before crawling into bed next to him and laying down, your head resting against his chest.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble.

“Sh. Go to sleep. I’m here.” He says gently, his big, warm hands rubbing your back.

Chapter 7

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[fictionsmooches]

Imagine being Erwin Smith's "assistant"

Erwin Smith x Fem! Reader

Warnings: major fluff lol

Note: just a small imagine with the reader as Erwins assistant! Hope you like

you became the assistant to Erwin after your mentor Pixis recommended you work with Erwin to become a more well rounded soldier. It wasn't that he no longer wanted to work with you, but he was scared you learned everything you possibly could from him and feared you would become bored.

you were moved into the room next door so Erwin could have you at his disposal whenever he needed you.

you gawked at the Commander from a far and secretly wished to be closer to him but it wasn't a possibility until now.

He was very independent, so it was hard when you first started working together.

He started off by having you do light filing work and accompanying him to meetings. you'd take notes over the meetings but later found out he was taking his own notes anyways lol

you'd tune his ODM gear before a mission or training.

you'd make him coffee in the morning and if you were lucky you could convince him to eat an actual breakfast.

you often sipped on tea or coffee with him, making small talk.

every now and then he'd tell you a lame dad joke, and you'd tell him a pun or two

The Survey Corps collectively decided that the Commander was far too valuable of an assist to go on the next mission so he stayed behind as his comrades carried out his battle plans.

this left the two of you with a lot of time together.

Your days with Erwin carried on as usual, but everyday he treated you less like a assistant and more like a companion. Some days you woke to him serving you breakfast and coffee.

You shared stories and dreams, hope and wishes for the new world beyond the walls and war. Somedays you would read in silence together, just enjoying each others company.

the brushing of finger tips when you passed books and cups to one another, was enough to make you both tense up.

this turned into long nights of reading (which was actually just the two of you talking)

he always walked you back over to your room, even though it was next door.

at this point you would just walk into his room unannounced.

you once walked in right as he was putting on his boots.

you sat down at his office chair and pretended to give out orders, he couldn't help but laugh at your impression of him.

"i ripped another sock." he hissed

"if i had thread i would fix it for you" you said slightly sad you couldn't help right here and now.

"how resourceful of you (y/n)! Well how about a impromptu ride into town?" he suggested.

you couldn't help clap your hands in excitement.

you both rode into town to fetch the needles and thread needed, but on the way out of town you stopped to pick a flower.

"here Commander!" you handed the small daisy over to Erwin.

he admired the small hand and flower.

Erwin couldn't help but stare at the pure sight of you.

you sewed socks and small cape rips and whatever else needed it.

you looked like normal people.

you sitting on his bed with scraps of fabric around you, he couldn't help but think you looked so domestic.

he blushed when he realized you had been sitting on his bed.

he was snapped out of the idea of you laying under sheets with you when you yelped. you'd had pricked your finger.

hearing your voice in a panic drove him into flight or fight mode.

"Don't move! I'll grab you a band aid!" he said moving into action.

"Erwin, it's a small poke. nothing to worry about."

he paid you no mind.

Erwin got on his knees in front of you.

you never thought you'd would see him like this. so tender and soft as he cleaned and bandaged up your finger.

the silence was far too loud for Erwin.

"you know, you might need surgery." he joked

you giggled.

"I love your laugh." he said finally looking up at you

you couldn't help but look away. you'd never been so close to anyone, especially to somebody you admired.

he reached up and tucked your loose hairs behind your ear.

"I love a lot of things about you." he spoke

"Erwin what are we? you don't treat me like an assistant, or even a friend sometimes..."

his face turned concerned "have i been rude? I'm sorry if ive overstepped my boundaries, I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry (y/n)" he began to stand and pull away but you caught his hand.

"No, I love a lot of things about you too"

you spent the rest of the evening curled close to Erwin's body on his small bed, you two didn't even bother moving the socks and capes you had sewn.

he stroked your head.

"you're my motivation to finish this war. i want to make a better place for you. for us." he spoke softly was the sunset casted soft orange hues on your bodies.

[local-ground-apple]

May I request for headcanons with the dorm leader and a f!reader who’s scared of people and always have her guards up? How would they win her over? (I’m so sorry if this is way too much and if this is the wrong place to ask for requests)

It’s not too much and it’s a good place to ask for requests. Hope you will like it~!

I swear I don’t know why Vil and Azul are so long..

♥️ probably scared you with his tantrums and quick temper

♥️ and probably scared you even more with strict rules imposed on students,

♥️ at first Riddle had absolutely no clue how to approach you, you always seemed rather anxious and cautious around him and he didn’t like it at all. Eventually, he asks Trey for some advices on how to get closer to you,

♥️ now he’s making sure you’re not near before he ruthlessly scolds and punishes students or has an outburst of anger,

♥️ Riddle tries to control his emotions around you and talk in rather pleasant voice, sometimes may turn a blind eye if you break one, seemingly insignificant rule, even though he’s screaming internally,

♥️ asks you, how was your day and oftne starts small talks with you. Riddle even offers to help you with subjects you don’t excel at, which slowly makes you warm up to him and gradually builds your trust,

♥️ when you feel more comfortable in his company, he invites you for tea parties where just the two of you eat strawberry tarts and talk in pleasant ambiance (Riddle shamelessly denies it being a date and refers to it as friendly meeting, keep telling that to yourself)

♥️ Riddle is the listener and he tries hard not to push your barriers, he’s always there to listen to your problems and is more than willing to offer you a solution,

💛 he certainly enjoys a good chase and is up for the challenge, he’s not the type to easily give up. Leona is a predator after all and you happened to be considered a prey,

💛 since you always have your guard up around others, he finds your mysterious and unapproachable aura completely endearing, Leona wants to be the only one to whom you will open up

💛 he acts more than he talks, so at first expect that lazy lion to actually put some effort – he will intimidate people you’re scared of, will carry your bag if you happen to walk in the same direction as him without even asking for your permission or he would invite you to his table in canteen,

💛 when he realises his approach doesn’t work that well and you’re still slightly intimidated by him, Leona will change his strategy,

💛 since you don’t want to be open, then he won’t be forcing you. Leona decides to show you an example. He opens up to you, tells you his honest thoughts without beating around the bush – which actually works and makes you gradually trust him more and more, 

💛 Leona is not rushing you or putting any pressure on you, after all hunts are not supposed to be easy and end so rapidly,

💙 his tentacle senses began tingling when he spotted you. His greedy and calculating self was looking for a perfect moment to get you to sign a contract. You had heard rumours about his fishy deals and after Floyd personally and brutally invaded your comfort zone, you swore to yourself your feet would never step in Mostro Lounge again. It led to you having absolutely no trust in him and basically running away at a mere sight of the twins,

💙 if you were scared of people before, now you were terrified and your guards were even higher than always. You promised yourself to be extra cautious around Azul,

💙 Azul can partially understand you, he doesn’t like feeling vulnerable either and usually has hard time opening to others and prefers to keep things to himself, yet it doesn’t mean he will go easy on you,

💙 after your brief meeting when you politely refused a contract, Azul actually gives you time, he doesn’t seem pushy or overbearing. You don’t see him or Leech twins for extended period of time. After a while you began to feel less anxious and your body isn’t in constant “fight or flight” mode, that’s when Azul steps in.

💙 gets paired with you in poison class, completely accidentally, much to your discontent. Azul leaves you surprised by how respectful he is, not putting any pressure on you and helping you with task. He gently asks about your opinion and listens to you, which leaves you stunned,

💙 you don’t warm that easily to him, having at the back of your mind all the horrible rumours about him. Azul is a great manipulator. While he was seemingly giving you time, Leech twins were busy collecting any information about you, which could be helpful in the future. Soon, Azul adapts his responses to your reactions, slowly making you lower your guard in his company,

💙 offers you a small favour, without any contract and wants nothing in return. You were suspicious, he keeps his promise, which makes you slightly warm up to him, Azul views that as investment in the future and he is more than willing to make another favour,

💙 just one day Azul will return to collect your outstanding debt,

💙 if he doesn’t manage to woo you with his manners, clever tricks, then surely, he can do it through a contract, right?

🧡he is open and friendly with everyone and his bright and energetic personality scared you a bit at first. His presence was a bit overbearing to you and you couldn’t believe you would find such a kind soul in this school,

🧡 Jamil had to explain to him, why you may not want to open up to new people and have trust issues, after that he would change his approach,

🧡 Kalim wants to gain your trust and become your friend, before he would try to woo you, he doesn’t want to blow his chances with you, so he takes things slow,

🧡 soon you learn that he’s genuinely friendly and cheerful and he’s not trying to be someone he isn’t,

🧡 Kalim talks openly with you, doesn’t hide anything about himself and is more than happy to share some histories about his past with you

🧡 often tells you that he appreciates time you spend with him and how this relationship is important to him,

🧡 gradually, your conversations began to flow more easily and naturally and you find yourself opening a little,

🧡 eventually, his bright personality wins you over

💜 Vil thinks highly of himself and is sure that making you fall for him would be easy-peasy. After all, who wouldn’t want to date him? Isn’t he such a perfect lover? He knows, it’s just a matter of time before you let your guard down and fall head over heels for him,

💜 sends Rook to discreetly gather some crucial information about you, he wants to understand why are you cautious and don’t you want to trust others. After finding a cause, Vil is more than happy to impose the best (in his opinion) solution and solve your issues. You won’t even notice his attempts,

💜 Vil is an excellent actor. After learning more about you and analysing your personality with Rook, he will adjust his words, gestures to your reactions. He always creates a perfect ambiance for your talks and seems to be empathizing with you. But you will never know which sugar-coated word was his true self.

💜 makes you believe that he leads the conversations with you, while having the intention of fully listening to you. Soon, you’re convinced that he’s a reliable person in whose company you can speak without feeling judged or embarrassed. After all, doesn’t he seek to understand you?

💜 Vil judges you internally, although in your eyes, he’s a very encouraging and supportive person. He helps you adjust in this completely new word and initially he isn’t harsh to you, as he is with Epel. He showers you in compliments, builds your self-esteem and makes you feel appreciated in his company. After all, Vil is going to fix your any imperfection after you eventually becomes his.

💜 if you reject him despite his relentless efforts, special addition to your apple or an old-fashioned love potion should make you fall for him,

🖤 oh boy, he is rather scared of people, often avoiding them at all cost and now he wants to overcome your barriers you had set around you and win you over?

🖤 it’s going to be a tough challenge, Idia himself is not sure whether he can overcome it,

🖤 feels very awkward whenever he tries to get out of his comfort zone and approach you, so he practically doesn’t leave it. You’re not sure how many times you had seen him leaving his dorm, yet alone his room,

🖤 you both share a lot in common, so he perfectly understands why you may have trust issues and don’t want to open up so easily,

🖤 Idia gives you (and mostly himself) quite a lot of time and if he finally gathers lasting remains of his practically non-existing courage, he will message you,

🖤 most of your conversations would be online. Surprisingly to you, they don’t feel awkward or forced, you both enjoy them, slowly warming up to each other,

🖤 eventually you would take your relationship from Internet to real life,

💚 he is a patient fae, so he gives you as much time as you need to warm up to him. Your mistrust and fear of people, as well as having your guards up all the time is understandable to him. 

💚 Malleus is not exactly an open person with a vast circle of friends. Besides, most of Diasomnia students are also cautious and discreet, so he is rather accustomed to it and doesn’t find you weird,

 💚 He doesn’t mind walking in the forest with you in complete silence and doesn’t even find it awkward,

💚 Malleus is elated when you gradually become more comfortable in his company, he always makes sure you’re feeling alright and is a great listener. You could spend hours rabbiting on how your day was awful and he would be there to hear it. You have his full and undivided attention,

💚 always tells you how much he appreciates time spent with you and how much this relationship means to him, 

💚 appreciates every piece of information you share about yourself and in return does the same. Generally sooner or later, you both help subconsciously help each other open up and before you even realise, you start to develop feelings for your kind Tsunotarou,

[namjoon-koya]

Hallo, I love your blog page, it's so adorable. Here's my request, Hawks meets a villain that’s very pretty and alluring and cannot bring himself to arrest the reader. Let’s the reader escape while Endeavor yells at him. Not even paying attention to Endeavor’s rant. Sees the reader again but this time with Tokoyami with him. Tokoyami goes to attack the reader and then the reader’s gone. (her power is freezing time and being able to walk through.

A/N: sorry if this took me a while to get to!

Warning: angst ending:,) I’m sorry.

Keigo thought he had everything he needed in his life, he had a sweet job as the 2nd pro hero and he got to work along side his idol not that he would tell Endeavor that. He never thought he needed anything else people adored him and he thought that was enough for him, UNTIL he met you during patrol he should’ve arrested you right away, but the way the moonlight kissed against your skin and made your eyes shine it was hard not to stare at you.

You were tempted to quickly get away when you saw him get distracted, it was weird for you to see a pro hero freeze like that usually some of them didn’t hesitate to use their quirks by now to capture you, yet Hawks didn’t he just stood there staring at you. You could see his wings slightly puff up as he continued to stare at you “uhm.. are you okay?” You asked, there was pregnant silence before he finally spoke up “w-what? I’m fine why would you ask that?”

“We’ll usually another pro hero would’ve arrested me by now yet you haven’t.”

Fuck, you were right he completely forget about the situation you both were in right now! “Well maybe I’m not like the other pro heroes.” You snorted “sure, I’ve seen you on TV hawks you’re exactly like them.” He smirked “so.. you’ve watched me on TV hm?” You rolled your eyes “duh the news outlet always record the top 10 heroes.”

Well... you weren’t wrong about that one. “So are you going to arrest me or not?” You asked him, you saw Hawks lower his wings a bit in a more calmer tone “no, i don’t know.” He admitted he knew how much trouble he would get in to for letting you go, maybe it was a bad idea to do it; but he could always come up with an excuse even so the hero commission wouldn’t fire him.

“Hm I guess you’re really not like the other pro heroes.” Hawks smiled a bit “told you so... now let me ask you a question.” He says shoving his hands inside his pockets “okay birdie shoot.”

“Why did you become a villain?”

He could see the hesitation in your eyes when he asked that question, his mind started to race to other things maybe someone forced you to? Or maybe it was the only way for you to survive? Either way he didn’t like the face you made, it was too... saddening for him he could see the emotions in your eyes. “Listen you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but maybe I can help you?”

You let out a dry chuckle “if only it was that simple Hawks.”

“I know that, but maybe you could just hear me out—“ before hawks could tell you more; he heard heavy footsteps walking towards you both. He saw you became tense and back up a bit “You need to run—“ “what about you? Won’t you get in trouble for letting me go?” You asked as you slowly stepped back “I’ll think of something, now go before they see you.” He didn’t have to tell you twice you quickly rushed out of the building and hid in the shadows of the alleyway.

Hawks sadly watched as your form disappeared into the night, he hoped he would get a bit more information about you; but he would have to hope that by some coincidence that you two ran into each other again. “Hawks!” Endeavor’s voice rang throughout the building “Yo.” Hawks replied back smoothly “did you find the villain?”

Hawks chuckled nervously, “about that they got away.” Endeavor’s flames became brighter “what how?”

“They caught me off guard, I’m sorry.” Endeavor starts lecturing Hawks about being more aware of his surroundings, Hawks only heard a few sentences from him before completely drowning out, everything Endeavor was saying. His mind only went to you and only thought about seeing you again, hopefully he would see you soon.

You came back to the hideout, you expected everyone to be asleep by now; but you saw Dabi near the bar. His attention turned to you when he heard the door close “Where were you?” He asked “Needed to get fresh air how come you’re still awake?” You asked him as you slipped off your coat “Couldn’t sleep..”

You only hummed a response Dabi’s eyes curiously followed you, he could tell something was up by the way you were acting he could always tell when someone’s mood changed or felt… off. “Did something happened to you?” Dabi says cooly “no… why would you ask that?” He shrugs “You have a stupid look on your face, but if you say nothing happened then fine.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine, of course you weren’t going to tell him about hawks God knows what Dabi would do to you… or worse he’d tell Shigaraki about it. “I’m off to bed don’t stay up late.” “What are you my mother?” You stick your tongue out at him, before leaving him alone. As you laid in bed your thoughts were only filled by Hawks, did he mean what he said about helping you? If he did then you could truly leave your villain days behind.

Sadly the next few weeks you don’t see Hawks around, you would often scan the streets or the top of buildings to find him; but to your disappointment you didn’t see him around. Whenever Dabi or Shigaraki came out with you—you would make sure to not get distracted easily, Shigaraki didn’t care much he only ranted on about All for one this and All for one that, but when it came to Dabi you made sure to not look around Dabi was already getting suspicious of you, and you didn’t want him to find out.

One night you’re out on your own again, Dabi was too busy drinking away at the bar and Shigaraki was too busy playing his video games, so you took this opportunity to sneak out on your own. You found a good hiding spot before scanning the streets again, you wanted to see Hawks again and hopefully you would this time. As you continued to look up and down the streets and sidewalk, you suddenly saw a shadow above you for a brief second.

You quickly went into fight or flight mode, you thought maybe it could be Hawks; but then again you needed to be careful you were a well known villain considering you ran alongside the league of villains. You heard footsteps run behind you and when you turned around, your eyes soften “Hawks?” You whispered out to him, he froze again like the night you two met “I was hoping we’d see each other again I just wanted to—“ before you could even move an inch closer to hawks, you heard something again.

You quickly whipped around and saw someone else, a teenager? Why was a teenager with Hawks? “Dark Shadow!” he shouted and you saw something appear from behind him, you stepped back a bit What the heck was going on?! You looked over at Hawks, but he seemed… shocked. A million questions ran through your thoughts, you wanted to ask Hawks what was going on; but your mouth felt dry Did he set you up? That night was he only pretending to get close to you to arrest you like this?

From the corner of your eye you saw the shadow rush at you to attack you—you glanced over at Hawks giving him a harsh glare, before using your quirk to freeze time. You quickly made your escape and ran back to the hideout without looking back at Hawks, you felt betrayed by him you really thought he could’ve helped you.

Once the time unfroze around them, Hawks and Tokoyami looked around them with confusion “did they just?…” Hawks saw Tokoyami nod “They have some sort of time quirk… are you going to report it?” Hawks felt uneasy when Tokoyami asked that, he saw the look you gave him and he just wanted to tell you it was a misunderstanding, that he didn’t know it was you and just some other random villain. Yet he couldn’t not with Tokoyami with him “Y-Yeah I am, c’mon let’s go.” On the way back to the agency all Hawks could think about was you, he needed to make a decision to make either report you to the hero commission or let you go.

He felt torn by both decisions if he didn’t tell the hero commission then the league of villains would have an advantage with you on their side, but if he did then he would betray the trust you showed him when he first met you.

You arrived back at the hideout you felt upset too upset… was Hawks really going to betray you after everything you told him? You should’ve taken Shigaraki’s and Dabi’s advice when they told you heroes are not to be trusted, now look what happened… “What’s up with you?” You didn’t realize that Dabi and Shigaraki were both staring at you while they sat at the bar with Kurogiri serving them drinks “nothing I’m fine.”

Dabi chuckled “Sure you are.” You glared at him “fuck off I’m heading to bed.” You said leaving the three of them, you rushed to your room and slammed the door shut you didn’t want to feel that stupid aching in your heart a few tears slipped down your cheek, you should’ve never gotten your hopes up and trusted him... you crawled into bed and dragged the sheets over your head before finally falling asleep. “What was that about?” Shigaraki asked “Someone just learned a valuable lesson of not trusting someone.” Dabi said taking a sip from his drink.

[wornoutmouse]

Warnings: angst and close call pregnancy

Y'all with all the trama Shiggy got, you know damn well he aint gon be a good daddy right off the bat

Baby daddy shigaraki

You looked at the small pink stick in your hands shaking in fear. "I'm..pregnant." you whimper as the faint lines began to blur from your tears. If it were anyone, absolutely anyone else, then the leader of The Legue of Villains, you would have been fine with taking care of the child on your own. But there would not be a chance of that if he ever found out.

You stand up and run to your kitchen, tossing the pregnancy test into the trash sweating profusely as you glanced into the room your new baby daddy rested in. Different thoughts swirled in your mind about how you could hide this from him. The first few months would be fine but how were you to hide it afterward? Your hands trailed down to your now flat stomach. "I got this." you mutter as you walk to your kitchen pouring you a cup of tea.

An hour later, Shigaraki trails out of the bedroom groggily, hair hanging creepily in his face as he looked at you with piercing red eyes. "Why the hell are you looking at me like that?" he asks making your heart rate pick up ever so slightly. "N-No reason just didn't think you'd be up so early, that's all." Tomura comes behind you and wraps his hands around being careful of his fingers. Even that didn't stop you from feeling faint at how close his hands were to your stomach. 

The first month was easy, you showed little to no symptoms and your stomach remained a normal size. However, that didn't stop you from being paranoid whenever a diaper commercial came on screen. A few weeks after you took the test, you went to the doctors to confirm your fears. "Yes ma'am, it looks to me that you are indeed with child." the doctor said, signing off on a few papers glancing at you, briefly acknowledging your shaken state. "If you're anything to go by, I'd say, either the father doesn't know, or you don't want it." You shook your head, "He doesn't and I don't plan on letting him know." 

The doctor put the clipboard down, "Is this your way of telling me you want an abortion? If that is the route you want to go, I won't judge but this isn't a spur of the moment thing and I want you to be positive you won't be in any danger if someone finds out." You sigh sliding your hands over your scarf-covered hair. "N-No, I think I'll keep the baby, b-but, I don't know what to do." The doctor smiles at you patting your back. "You look like you have a strong head on your shoulders, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

The third month was harder as your bump was finally showing so you could no longer wear your normally form-fitting shirts. Shigaraki had luckily stopped coming around as often due to villain things, something you were grateful for since you could finally give in to your cravings. That plan was soon compromised when Komugiri suddenly materialized on your rather 'indulgent' days. And by indulgent you mean you were propped up on the couch, shirt up, with some ice cream, toast, and two large boxes of french fries. 

"I may have lost most of my human necessities, but I'm sure this amount of eating isn't necessary for normal human consumption." You jump at the sound of his voice, quickly looking around if Komogiri brought someone else with him. "You can't tell him please!" Komugiri looked at you, misty smoke unwavering before a deep sigh erupted from him. "I know not the reason you are keeping this from Tomura, but for now I shall indulge you." You sag slightly relieved. "However." You glared at the misty man. "Now that I know you're carrying the offspring of a sought after villain, I will be checking in on you a lot more. I shall also implement a healthy diet for you and the child."

You groaned at the downright disrespectful amount of joy showing through Komugiri's voice. 

The next 2 months were a game of cat and mouse as you were forced to sneak past Komugiri's watchful eyes to give in to your cravings. "Please! You don't understand, I need a cheese dipped pretzel!" you whined as you were dragged from the pretzel stan by a goon Komugiri had brought along to do the labor for your shopping trip. "Get ahold of yourself young lady, you're causing a scene!" Komugiri reprimanded, truly sounding like a disappointed mother scolding her child. For the rest of the day you pouted, "How the hell are you even sneaking away so much, shouldn't Tomura be suspicious?" 

You would later have to admit that the meals Komugiri prepared, did make up for the food he wrongfully withheld from you. Another good thing that came from the whole ordeal was the doctor visits Komugiri took with you. Although it was rather embarrassing as he stood over the doctor, arms cross watching his every move. "Komugiri, the doctor is washing his hands, I think it's okay." you sigh flipping through a magazine for couches. Komugiri huffed and left the doctor alone, of course after he checked the temperature of the water.

Late in month 8, you were so obviously pregnant that you had developed a large waddle. Something your mother exploited. "Hah! See that's what yo ass get for making fun of me when I was pregnant with your brother!" you'd roll your eyes as you looked at your mother who had now become red in the face with laughter. "That's not fair, this is my first time being pregnant you cant make fun of me!" Your mom scoffed leaning back in her chair, "Girl please. Anyways when am I gon meet yo baby daddy? What was his name? Ziggaraki or whatever?" 

You were quiet for a moment before bursting into tears. "Mommy!!" Your mom looked thoughtfully startled at the outburst. "Girl what the hell wrong with you!" You hiccup and wipe your face, whines increasing. "He doesn't know I'm pregnant, I'm too scared to tell him!" Your mother cooed consoling your the best she could through the screen. "Aw sweety, he does know your pregnant." You wipe your eyes humming in question. "What are you talking about?" 

Behind you, something heavy hit the floor making you quickly swivel around in your chair. There in all his glory stood the man in question staring at you with concealed rage. His eyes stayed at your face before trailing down your body, irises shaking at the sight of your perfectly round belly protruding from the tight confines of your shirt. You swivel back around in your chair cringing at the fear evidently showing on your face. You shiver at the questioning look your mother was giving you but before she could say anything you turn off the video call. 

You shook in your seat refusing to turn around as you heard heavy steps walking towards you. "Turn around." You shook your head squeezing your eyes closed wishing Komugiri was here to help you. You feel the back of the chair bending at the weight being put on it. "Turn the fuck back around Y/N your I will dust this chair." He growls lowly trying to keep some sort of self-control. You refused to move making Shigaraki sigh and do it himself. 

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him so you kept your head-trained down on the floor. 'You're pregnant." Shigaraki wheezed finally letting the realization overtake him. He drops down low to his knees becoming eye level with your belly. "And I wasn't even here for most of it?" Shigaraki became angry making you stiffen and reflexively place a hand over your stomach. Shigaraki doesn't miss this and get's even angrier. "Y-You, hide this from m-me and now you're insulting me b-by acti-ng like I'd actually h-hurt you?!" he screamed at you making your hormones fluctuate from anger to sadness as tears well up in your eyes. 

"This is why Tomura! I didn't know how you'd react! You're not mature enough to handle a baby!" You scream back equally as fears flinching at a strike of pain traveling up your spin at the strain. Tomura chuckled darkly taking a step back throwing his head back in laughter. Giggling as he cards his hands through his stringy white hair and looks at you with a sharp glare. You swallow shallowly, you knew for a fact that a Tomura with a crazed smile was better than a stone-faced Tomura. 

Shigaraki swayed towards you hunched as he took in your fearful features. "Since you're so scared, why don't I make your fears a reality?" The sight of Tomura's hand coming up to your stomach sent you into fight or flight mode. You stand up and grab his wrist, "Look here Lil nigga, I don't care who you are, of how you feel, you not touching my baby." At the moment, you felt on top of the world, until you didn't as you felt something slowly drip down your leg.

Looking down, there was a thick trail of red leaving your genital area. You wail loudly at the sight, legs buckling. Shigaraki stepped away and at that moment, Komugiri materialized next to you. "Y/N!" Shigaraki stumbled, as Komugiri makes a portal and carries your body through it. 'This must be what shock is." you thought to yourself were you layed in Komugiri's arms unable to move as you heard the world pass by you.

There were sounds of frantic yelling and bright lights erupting your vision as you travel from one white room to the next. You were settled on a rather uncomfortable bed as you hear the frantic movement and an incessant beeping noise coming from your right. "Move quickly you bastards or I'll kill you all!" You internally smiled starting to become loopy likely from sedatives. 'Just Tomura being Tomura.' You frowned, 'I hope my baby won't inherit murderous intent.'

'Baby'

'Baby'

'My baby'

You jerk in the bed finally getting a clear head, "MY baby!" you yelled trying to take the needles out of your arms. "Hold her down!" came a feminine voice and you felt a series of hands push down on your shoulders forcing you to lie down. Tears rolled down your face, "My baby!" Shigaraki came near your face, "Y/N it-it'll be fine just....just...just laydown." You had never heard Shigaraki sound unsure of himself and that just angered you more as you gripped the front of your shirt. "You better keep my baby safe your I will ream hell fire on you!" you growled making your quirk startup. "Sedate her!" is all that you hear before your grip was loosened.

The darkness enveloped you and you could only see the worse ahead of you.

You shiver awake breathing heavily before trying to raise yourself off the bed. You were halted by Komugiri's hand. "W-What?" you start off but Komugiri raised a smug finger to his lips before pointing over to the left side of the room. Turning your head you gape at the sight before you. 

Shiagarki, in all his villainous glory, was sleeping in a chair shirtless with a tiny bundle of a blanket over him. "Is that?" You ask looking at Komugiri who nods standing up and walking over to Tomura, carefully removing the bundle of blankets from his arms walking back to you. 

You hear small gurgles and your heart beats faster as Komugiri sets the small weight into your arms. Looking down at the small face of your child, all your problems went away. "Hi there little one." you cooed softly at the child in your arms. The baby had the same dark skin as you but its hair was light blue like its father. "Come on, let mommy see you." you whisper booping your nose against the baby's smaller one making its face scrunch up. 

"Look, Komu, I made this!" you said still sounding slightly loopy. Komugiri chuckled, "You and Tomura are so much alike I see now."

From the other side of the room, Shigaraki jerks in his place standing up and looking franticly around the room effectively disintegrating the armrest. When he makes eye contact with you, he instantly relaxes. Komugiri excuses himself from the room leaving the two of you to awkwardly stare at each other. "So, what happened." you started off not exactly wanting to talk but you knew you had to.

Shigaraki raised his hand to his neck but didn't scratch for some reason. "Preeclampsia, a reaction to stress making your blood pressure go up." You hummed looking down at your infant. "It's so cute." you mumble, "He... it's a boy." Shigaraki chimes in as he gazes at the baby with wide eyes. You smile feeling the waterworks return. "My baby boy."

Shigaraki shuffles awkwardly as he watched you cry silently. "You want..a tissue?" You glare at him nodding. "Can we name him Daku?" Shigaraki hesitantly asks as he brings a box of tissue. "Doesn't that mean Dark in Japanese?" you ask quirking your eyebrow. Shigaraki shrugged, "I mean look at him, he is dark." You look at Shagaraki for a painstakingly long time. "Keep playing with me and I'll name him Komugriri." Shigaraki frowns at that.

"The bastard didn't even tell me and he knew the whole time!" you rolled your eyes at your partner's grumbling. "If you want to call him dark so bad how about...Yami." Shigaraki shook his head, "That's too close to All Might's real name." "I'm not even going to ask how you know that."

You two sit in silence as you gaze at your new unnamed baby. "We can't ignore the elephant in the room Y/N." Shigaraki states putting a hesitant hand on your shoulder. "Ignore what Tomura? about how you caused me to go into labor early. Like threatening to kill both me and our child?!" you said voice raising a bit. Shigaraki looked at you, gears turning. 

There was nothing he could actually say to that for no matter how you could look at, nothing he did was okay. "I...I was scared." You sighed placing your head back on your pillow looking at the tiles above you, wishing that this never happened. "Well, you scared me Tomura." The silence was deafening as Tomura silently gasped, "You know that I would never-" you groan, "No I don't Tomura! I don't know what you would do! Why do you think I hid this from you in the first place!" 

There was no response just as you expected and for some strange reason, that broke you more than getting something half-assed. Small noises bubbled from your arms drawing both your attention to it. "Hey.." Shigaraki mumbled as you slowly watch small slanted eyes open, looking up at you. "His eyes are two different colors Shig." you respond shocked as a perfect little set of brown and red eyes looked up at you. "Cool...c-can I hold him." You playfully glared at Shigaraki, "You had him all while I was sleeping!" 

You name your new baby boy Daiki, Daiki Shigaraki. You of course picked the name since it seemed that all Tomura wanted was a child with a name that represents the darkness inside him, his words not yours. 

I KINDA WANNA CONTINUE THIS

[mymoonagedaydream]

Only the Good Die Young (Part 6)

Summary: It seemed like everyone in that godforsaken town was out to test your relationship

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language, anti-religious sentiment, harmful relationship with parents, creepy threatening behaviour

Author's Note: Temptation. I feel like I’ve put these two through so much but I just. cannot. stop. Eventually I may need medical intervention.

---

You just stood there for a little while. Eyes closed, head resting against his chest, savouring the contentment and safety you felt in his arms. These moments of peace were few and far between for the two of you, so when they came along you held on to them for as long as you could.

Your serenity faded after a few minutes, as you found yourself struggling to prevent his mother’s words bleeding into the front of your mind.

You wanted to look after him, you wanted to heal and care for him the best you could, but you knew there was nothing you could do to make up for his past. You couldn’t fix it.

But at least now, you were able to realise that everything he’d ever achieved, he’d done completely by himself. 

All his life he’d had no help, no support and no real reason to outgrow the life that people like your mother expected him to lead. At the very least, you were determined to change that.

After a while, he piped up. ‘You hungry? I thought we could order food, there’s a really good-’

You cut him off by throwing your arms around his neck and pressing your lips against his, apparently shocking him a little, because it took him a few seconds to respond. He eventually tightened his hold around you and tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss while you moved your hands to cradle his face. Eventually, he pulled away.

‘-pizza place nearby.’

You laughed at his stupid grin, nodded and reached over to the drawer with the takeout menus.

The two of you ate in front of the TV, then curled up together on the sofa for the evening. You were still holding onto this moment of peace, savouring every second, knowing how fleeting it could be.  

---

As predicted, you only managed about an hour of relaxation before Bucky’s phone started buzzing. He picked it up and moved over to the kitchen when he saw that it was his mother calling.

You tried not to eavesdrop, but it wasn’t a big flat.

He didn’t say much, he was mainly listening to her, but as the conversation progressed you could tell he was getting more and more agitated. The only thing you could really gauge was that, at one point, she asked him for money. He told her he was pretty broke at the moment, so he didn’t have any to spare, but you had no idea if that was the truth.

It was heart-breaking to see the toxic side of their relationship in practice, especially after seeing all the love that his mother was capable of.  

Finally, he said a short goodbye and trudged back to the couch. You waited for a second to see if he’d share willingly, but he just huffed, heaved his boots up onto the table and necked the rest of his beer. You were going to have to do this the hard way.

‘Is everything alright?’

‘Yeah, fine.’ He gave you a short, tight smile and reached for the remote. You caught his arm.

‘Buck.’

‘It’s nothing, just...’ He gave an aggravated sigh and rubbed his eyes. ‘She’s not pressing charges.’

‘That’s not nothing. That’s a pretty valid reason to be upset.’

You were still very much testing the waters as far as talking Bucky down was concerned. You were sure that he’d calm down himself given enough time, but if you were going to move in here properly you’d prefer not to have walls full of holes.

He took a deep breath. ‘It’s not like I expected anything else, this is what always happens.’

‘Doesn’t mean it sucks any less.’ You shifted closer and interlaced your fingers with his, rubbing his forearm with your other hand, feeling some of the tension in his muscles settle under your touch. You were pretty pleased with that result, even if it was only small. ‘Y’know, for a guy who was so eager to find someone to talk to, you’re really not easy to get information out of.’

He let a reluctant smile spread across his face. ‘Good job you’re a ruthless interrogator then.’

---

The next few days were almost perfect. You were able to spend quality time together and unwind a little, just about managing to ignore the sixty-four missed calls from your parents and the texts begging for money from his. Bucky went out to work whenever repair jobs came up, but you quite enjoyed having free-reign of the flat while he was gone, making subtle changes that he barely noticed when he got back.

The decoration wasn’t bad per se, it just didn’t really… exist. It was your typical bare bones bachelor pad, you were convinced he hadn’t made any real changes since moving in- apart from a pile of magazines and a couple of suspicious stains on the carpet.

When your parents finally gave up, and when enough time had passed since the visit from Bucky’s mother, it felt for the first time like maybe everything could turn out alright. All the problems you’d faced seemed to be receding further and further, it seemed like they couldn’t penetrate the walls of this cosy little life you’d built.

So it was all the more disappointing when that turned out not to be the case.

---

You woke up to the sound of Bucky’s alarm. Stretching a little, you felt his body pressed up against the back of yours and his arms wrapped you. He reached over you to shut the sound off, groaned dramatically and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

‘Another morning I'll have trouble climbing out of bed.’

His words were muffled against your skin. You rolled onto your back and brushed a few strands of hair away from his forehead, smiling at the deep marks left on his cheek by the creases in the sheets. The two of you must’ve slept like logs, barely moving all night.

‘Stay then.’

‘I’ve got places to go.’ He placed a few soft kisses below your ear. ‘There’s a big job today, could be a few hundred bucks.’

You frowned and abruptly grabbed his head, lifting it away from you. ‘Hundreds? Christ, get out then.’

‘Wow, didn’t have you down as a gold digger.’ You laughed and tried to push him out of bed, relenting when he clawed his way back to you.

‘You could use some restraint, Barnes.’

‘I never said I was a saint.’

Ten or fifteen minutes later, Bucky finally got up and ready for work. You had a day of solid lounging around planned. Maybe you’d take a walk into town later, but only during the hours you knew your parents would be working. No way would you risk bumping into them.

---

He’d been gone for a few hours when the doorbell went. You couldn’t figure out who it was from the window, so you tiptoed downstairs and cautiously inched the door open. It was the blonde from the bar, the one who got Bucky thrown in jail.

‘What the hell do you want?’ The severity in your voice shocked you a little.

He gave a smug chuckle. ‘Calm down, suburbs. I wanna talk to Bucky.’

‘About what?’

He narrowed his eyes at you and stepped forward, stretching his arms out and bracing himself against the door frame. You instinctively moved back, tightening your grip on the open door, ready to slam it shut at a moment's notice.

‘I’d rather just speak to him, sweetheart.’

‘Look, he’s not here, but even if he was I’m sure he’d just tell you to fuck off.’

A sinister, calculating look spread over his face. ‘You’re here all on your own?’

The shift in his tone made your entire body tense up. You immediately defaulted into fight or flight mode, pushing the door closed as quickly as you could. Somehow he moved faster, shoving his foot into the gap and letting out an irritated grunt when the door slammed into it. You felt him pushing against the other side of the wood.

‘C’mon.’ You saw his fingers emerge through the gap and curl round the edge of the door. ‘I just wanna talk.’

Summoning strength from god-knows-where, you stomped down on his foot with all your weight. When it jerked out of the gap, you shoved your shoulder hard against the door, hearing the cracking of his fingers followed by loud yelp. He pulled his hand away and you swiftly turned the lock.

He was still shouting and banging on the door as you scrambled upstairs, your shaky knees finally causing you to collapse as you burst back into the flat. You crawled over to the window and peeked out, seeing him limping away down the street, cradling his injured hand against his chest. You breathed out for what felt like the first time in ten minutes, remnants of your adrenaline rush making your head spin.

Despite your overwhelming panic, you couldn’t help but feel a little pleased with yourself, cause damn that was pretty fucking badass.

You considered calling Bucky, but figured that as long as you didn’t answer the door again, you should be alright until he finishes. It’d be much easier to explain what’d happened after you’d had some time to think about it and to calm down a bit.

You made some tea and collapsed onto the couch, all the while making an effort to maintain deep, controlled breaths. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long before you managed to compose yourself.

When Bucky got back, you sat him down and reeled it all off, reassuring him throughout that you were fine. He seemed to take it surprisingly well, staying silent and still while you were explaining. You thought maybe he’d finally turned a corner with his anger.

That was, until you got to the end of your story.

‘He didn’t come back, right?’ You shook your head. He nodded to himself and clenched his hands together tight, dropping his head and taking a deep, shaky breath. ‘Fuckin asshole, man.’

You could see him ramping up to something, so you tried your best to diffuse. ‘It’s fine, I’m fine. I handled it.’

‘Nah.’ Bucky stood up suddenly and grabbed his jacket, storming towards the door. ‘He could’a hurt you.’

‘He didn’t.’ You followed him, managing to grab his arm before he made it out of the flat.

‘That’s not the point.’

You knew there was no fucking way were you going to stand back and let him do this again. His judgement was being clouded by anger, that much was obvious, so he needed a sharp reality check to ground him again.

‘Do you really think this is worth going back to jail for?’ He stopped tugging against you, turning his head slightly so you were in the corner of his vision. ‘Cause I guarantee I won’t be here when you get out.’

He was still for a second. You let go and took a couple steps back, waiting to see what he would do.

If he left, this was over.

He threw his jacket to the ground in frustration and ran his fingers through his hair, turning back towards you with a regretful grimace. You breathed a pretty big sigh of relief.

‘You’re right.’ He held his arms out in defeat. ‘Y’know, I try to be rational, but it all gets blown to pieces when I look at you.’

What a strange mix of accusation and romance.

‘If you don’t chill the fuck out soon you’ll only be looking at me through bulletproof glass.’

He rubbed his forehead exasperatedly. ‘God, I wish everyone would just leave us alone.’

You didn’t respond for a second, considering whether or not to tell him what you were thinking. It was something you’d been debating for a while, something you were going to bring up with him when it got closer to the end of summer.

Fuck it, now was as good a time as any.

‘We need to get out of this town. There’s nothing here for us Buck.’

He squinted at you in slight confusion. ‘You wanna move?’

‘Look I know it’s not been long, and I know there's a danger in wanting too much too soon, but I really think we could be happy somewhere else. Your parents, my parents, your weird creepy friends. We need to get away.’

He looked away, considering your proposal. You just shifted on the spot awkwardly for what felt like hours. Eventually he smiled, then grinned, and soon enough he was beaming at you.

‘Alright. Let’s get outta here.’

‘Yeah?’ Your head was spinning with possibility and optimism. ‘Where should we go?’

‘Wherever you want darlin.’

---

Part 7

---

@shawnie--jo @brilliantbellesoares @livingoffsavvyillusions @noiralei @bebeyeni @kingkassam @newyorkgoddess @sir-lili @im-squished @dancer3205 @thefallenbibliophilequote @supernaturalwintersoldier

---

[tobesobri]

𝒜hh! It’s finally here and I feel very bittersweet about the end of this story. On one hand, this is the first story I had a regular upload schedule with and actually completed in a timely matter so it feels like a big accomplishment to me and I’m excited to get to focus on other things i’ve been working on now! But, at the same time, I love this story and these characters so much so it’s also quite sad that it’s over HOWEVER I am always open to doing little blurbs and extra stuff like that with this story whenever you guys would like to! Okay, I’m gonna go now but I hope you all enjoy this last chapter! It turned out a lot longer than I expected it to so I’m sorry for that lol anyway, I’d love to hear your thoughts about this story or just this chapter or whatever you want! thank you for all the love throughout this entire process, it’s been the highlight of my quarantine bhjhbdc 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: IT’S ONLY HUMAN (9.4K)

Harry and Y/N are friends…. with benefits, but not the kinds you’re thinking of.

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After dinner, he spread her out on the bed and made her come again, this time while she was wearing his robe. And although it killed him to know how wet she was and not do anything about it, his fears far outweighed his need to go any further. 

They laid together under the covers quietly for a little while afterward while he showed her what she tasted like and they both attempted to catch their breath, not that making out again was helping. But, they really couldn’t keep their mouths or hands off of each other. 

It wasn’t until she slipped her fingers toward the band of his boxer-briefs that everything slowed back down. He pulled away from her and grabbed her wrist before she managed to sneak any farther down his body. Bringing her hand up to his mouth, he kissed her palm to soothe the confused and rejected expression on her face. 

“M’too tired.” He whispered against her skin, hoping that would be good enough. He wasn’t as tired as he claimed, he just wasn’t quite ready to go there with her yet. 

“You don’t have to do anything.” She pleaded, just wanting to give him anything she possibly could. 

He shook his head, however, and hid his eyes, giving her hand back to her, “I’m sorry.” 

Her cheeks immediately flushed and she hated how embarrassed she felt because he was allowed to say no, and she knew that more than anyone, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t like putting herself out there as it was and allowing herself to get so lost in the moment she might have made him uncomfortable? It didn’t feel good. 

“I just,” Harry sighed because even though it was dark in his bedroom, he still saw the look on her face and he knew how he would feel if he was in her position. “I didn't do any of this so you’d repay me, Y/N.” 

“But I want to.”

He intertwined his fingers with hers and brought the back of her hand to his lips, kissing his gently, “I know... I just don’t want you to.”

She stared at him blankly then, having no clue what he meant by that but also knowing that was the end of the discussion. So she nodded and whispered, “Okay,” and let it go. 

But when she escaped to the bathroom to clean herself up and get a breath of fresh air again, she really couldn’t help wondering why he didn’t want her to. She figured at first that he was still worried about hurting her, as he always had been, but then her mind traveled elsewhere the more she thought about it. She wondered if he would ever have proper sex with her knowing what he knew about her past. If he worried that the only thing he’d be able to think of when he was looking in her eyes while being inside of her was what she’d gone through. And she fucking hated it. 

She splashed water over her face before she started regretting ever telling him anything. She was not falling back into the same pit as before. They were being real with each other now. And as much as the nerves overwhelmed her, she just needed to know why for her own sake. 

With a script going on in her head for what she’d say to Harry, she flipped off the bathroom light and stepped back into his room. She got a few steps in toward his bed until she realized he was out cold. His chest moved at a steady pace as he laid on his back and his eyes were fluttered shut peacefully. He really had been tired, she supposed. 

Sighing, she walked into his closet and replaced his robe onto the hanger where she’d found it before removing her bra and replacing it with one of his shirts. She stood at the windows for a moment, dividing her attention between the all-too-familiar view of L.A. and of Harry. 

After about five minutes, he rolled onto his side and pulled a pillow into his arms. She watched him cuddle into it, holding onto it for dear life while he continued to sleep. Smiling to herself, she walked back over to her side of the bed and crawled under the covers with him again, slowly pulling the pillow out from under his arms. She replaced every inch of it with herself until she finally got the pillow out the way and his arms wrapped around her body instead. He nuzzled his face into her neck with a soft hum when she brought her hand to the top of his head and played with his hair. 

Whatever his reason was she’d get it out of him tomorrow. 

He was already in the shower when she got up the next morning and after an entire five minutes of wondering how much he’d hate her for joining him, she got out of bed and went downstairs for a glass of water. 

While she tidied his kitchen, fixing the stack of cookbooks that had gone astray again, his doorbell rang. After she panicked about it for several seconds, she set her glass of water down and went to deal with it. The only thing that calmed her nerves was knowing that whoever was at his front door knew the code to get into his gate and was an approved person to be visiting Harry. And it definitely wasn’t Will. 

Still, she peeked out the front windows first just to see who it was before she opened the door. Upon finding a semi-familiar face, her body fell out of fight-or-flight mode. It was just Harry’s manager. 

He gave her a once over once she finally opened the door and it was then that she realized she was still in Harry’s shirt... and only Harry’s shirt. 

“Sorry, is Harry here?” Jeff asked, his eyes landing on hers again. 

“He’s in the shower. Did you want to come in and wait?” She felt weird about gatekeeping Harry’s house because even though it felt like her home too, it wasn’t. It was weird letting him in as if it was her house. 

Jeff stared at her in disbelief for a moment before he shook his head and walked through the front door after she’d given him space to do so. Shutting the door and locking it again, she turned back to face Jeff, who was, once again, staring oddly at her. 

“Sorry I just... when did this happen?” He motioned to her current attire. When she looked down at herself and didn’t say anything for a moment, he continued. “I mean, I know you two were... but I was under the impression it was complicated.” 

“It’s, uh... not that complicated anymore.” 

Jeff nodded in agreement, “Thank god. Wasn’t kidding when I said he was being a pain in the ass.” He began wandering towards the kitchen and she followed after a moment. 

“He didn’t tell me you were coming over, so I’m gonna go put pants on.” She announced once she caught up to him just as he grabbed a juice from Harry’s fridge. 

“He probably just forgot.” Jeff shrugged, taking a swig from the bottle, “Tell him to hurry his ass up while you're at it.” 

Smiling at him, she then made her way upstairs quickly. She pulled on her spare jeans and walked up cautiously to the bathroom door. The shower wasn’t running anymore so she knocked, not entirely sure what she would have done if he was still in the shower. He wouldn’t have been able to hear her through the closed door and just the thought of opening it and seeing him in all his naked-glory gave her incredible anxiety. And it was mostly for the fact that it was still smack dab in the middle of her mind that he didn’t want to have sex with her and she still didn’t know why. 

Harry pulled the handle and let the door fall open for her as he retreated back in front of the mirror. He had a towel wrapped around his lower half like he always did post-shower and gave her a questioning look. 

“Um...” she dragged her eyes back to his face, “Your manager’s here? In the kitchen.” 

After a brief moment of confusion, he muttered, “Shit,” and started towards her. Stepping out of the way, she let him pass by so he could put clothes on and meet Jeff downstairs. What she didn’t expect, however, was for him to step into his closet, not even bothering to shut the door behind him, and drop his towel right there in front of her. After staring blankly at his backside for an entire heart-pounding five seconds, she averted her gaze. 

He got dressed quickly, only throwing on underwear and a pair of grey joggers before stepping back into his bedroom. “Sorry, I forgot he was coming over.” 

She scratched her fingernails along the seams of her pants and chewed on her bottom lip while he grabbed his phone off the charger. When he turned to face her again, he knew something was up. 

“Everything alright?” 

Nodding, she halted her nervous picking at her jeans and exhaled, “Yeah, it’s just... can we talk afterward?” 

“‘Bout what?” He seemed to have no clue what she could possibly want to talk to him about, but she was sure he did have some semblance of a clue. Harry wasn’t stupid. 

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously and cleared her throat to speak but it wasn’t her voice ringing through the room next, rather Jeff’s as he yelled up the stairs. 

“Stop fucking and get down here! I have to leave in twenty!” His voice didn't make Y/N cringe as much as what he said did. They weren’t doing whatever Jeff thought they were, as much as Y/N wished he had, in fact, interrupted something, they just simply weren't. And Y/N desperately wanted to know why. 

Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he looked at her again from across the room, “You’re welcome to come down, we’re just discussing promotional stuff.” 

Her heart sank when he didn’t mention their previous conversation at all as he turned to leave the room. And she thought he might not ever again until he paused in the doorway and turned right back around in a huff of air and with shaking hands. 

“I know what you want to talk about. When he’s gone, I promise we will.” 

It was enough to get her through the entire time Jeff was over and after she brushed her teeth and mentally prepared what she’d say to Harry, she joined them downstairs cautiously. She still wasn’t used to being with Harry when they weren’t alone and it made her feel out of place when she joined them in the living room and sat on the complete opposite end of the couch from Harry. 

It felt like she still had to keep a secret, even though Jeff apparently knew everything. Maybe that was another thing they had to talk about... what were they exactly? They both said they loved each other, but she still didn’t consider Harry her boyfriend. 

Jeff gave her a funny look as she sat down, which was transferred to Harry almost immediately. A wave of awkwardness crashed over the entire room until Harry cleared his throat. 

“Uh, so yeah, I’m fine with those... what about the release date though? I don’t agree with next summer.” 

Harry and Jeff went on for a while, going between what promo events they wanted to do and trying to decide on a reasonable release for the album. And while Y/N tried to follow, she just simply couldn’t, especially when Harry’s phone dinged and he glanced her way with an anxiety-inducing look of bewilderment. 

“It’s Will,” Harry glanced down at his phone again, pausing the previous conversation as he skimmed the text one more time before handing the device over to Y/N for her to read it herself. 

(Will, 11:46 a.m.) 

Hey, sorry I bailed on your surprise party. I’m sure Y/N told you what happened. I know you’ve turned down all my offers recently, but I really want to make it up to you and I could use the company. Everyone’s going to be home tonight if you want to come over around six? 

She’d been hoping when Will said he’d be home tonight, that he meant he’d be home with only enough time to spare to get ready for bed so he’d be well rested for work tomorrow. Not that he’d be inviting Harry over when all she wanted to do was feed her roommates another excuse and sleep in Harry’s bed tonight, not her own. Where they could figure things out and hopefully go someplace new that wasn’t as feasible in her own bed. 

It also put a bitter taste in her mouth to read that Harry had been refusing Will’s previous invites to come over. She had no right to, but she had still hoped one night Harry would have shown up at her apartment anyway after she’d left him and avoided his texts. And she hated that she used his inaction as further proof that he didn’t feel anything towards her in that way. Now she understood why he didn’t. 

Because Harry would have let her go too, if he thought in doing so it would make her happy, no matter how much he needed her. And she couldn’t blame him for that. She also couldn’t blame him for being mad or not wanting to see her when she left without talking to him first. When she asked him to forget about their first kiss like it was meaningless to her. When she didn’t give him a single reason why she didn’t want him to move out. 

“What should I say?” Harry asked as she returned his phone. 

She shrugged, “Do you want to come over?” 

She could tell the same thoughts were flashing through his mind too, that, no, he didn’t really want to. He wanted to spend every waking minute of the rest of their peaceful Sunday with Y/N and no one else. But formulating some elaborate lie as to why both Y/N and Harry wouldn’t be at the apartment seemed almost impossible. 

Harry typed away in his phone for a moment before clicking it off after he sent the message, “Suppose I should get you home soon then?” 

She nodded but didn’t really want to agree. She needed to at least make it look like she’d been in her own room since Will left her there yesterday morning. And she definitely needed to be there whenever Will got back. 

“Wait a second,” Jeff sat forward, interrupting, “you two still haven’t told anyone about... this?” He motioned between the both of them and Y/N was relieved she wasn’t the only one confused as to what Harry and her were. 

Harry sighed and leaned back against the couch, “It kinda just happened.” 

It did just happen. But they did not just happen. They started over a month ago now. It used to be a secret because neither one of them wanted to explain the sad situation they were in. That both of them were so fucking lonely they couldn’t sleep without each other. That they weren’t keeping secret hookups from everyone. Now, however, there wasn’t really a reason to hide anymore. 

Even thinking about telling Will, however, made Y/N’s heart race. She’d already lied about it once, she couldn’t imagine how mad he’d be to find out the truth. 

“Are you going to? Because that’s a whole PR nightmare...” Jeff glanced towards Y/N, “on second thought... maybe you should keep it just between you two.” 

Harry rolled his eyes, “Thanks for the wonderful advice.” 

It was quiet for a moment until Y/N glanced at Harry and then he found her eyes too and gave her a reassuring smile, “S’up to you. They're your roommates.” 

It was up to her. Harry didn’t care either way. But what would they say if they did tell the three people she lived with? That they were dating? That it just happened? 

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” She mumbled before getting up from the couch. Harry eyed her carefully as she walked past him and until he could no longer see her as she disappeared up the stairs. 

“Not a fine line with her anymore then, huh?” Jeff teased.

Harry threw a pillow at his face, “Shut up.” Then after a moment, changed the subject, “I was thinking December next year actually...” 

Y/N paused at the doorway when she heard Jeff and Harry’s muffled voices at the end of the stairs, and, peeking out from his bedroom, saw them as they stood at Harry’s front entrance, Jeff’s hand on the knob ready to leave. 

Her shower had been quick on account of her only bringing a few essentials and nothing else. She didn’t shave or put on a face mask. Just washed everything in about seven minutes, and got out. And now she was hiding behind a wall, eavesdropping on their conversation while her wet hair soaked into the back of her shirt. 

“See you tomorrow then.” Jeff assured, “And tell your girlfriend I said sorry for giving you guys shitty advice.” 

Your. Girlfriend.

She tensed up awaiting Harry’s response to that.

He chuckled and she feared for the worse. “My girlfriend isn’t my girlfriend yet.” 

“You two need to figure your shit out already. I’m exhausted.” 

“Planning on it.” Harry mumbled so that Y/N could just barely make it out. But when it registered what he said, she felt that same old fluttering feeling in her stomach that only Harry knew how to cause. 

“Hope so. Don’t want you to come in tomorrow crying your eyes out again, alright?” And then the fluttering shifted upwards to her chest. Heartbreak. 

She didn’t hear anything else besides Harry’s familiar exasperated chuckling and a very faint, “Okay,” before the front door opened and then shut a few seconds later. And when she peeked out again, Harry stood alone in the foyer. She watched him for a moment as he just seemed to stare off into space, but she couldn’t be sure the way his back faced her. It said more than enough though. He was tense. 

Jeff was gone and he promised to talk. She almost felt like telling him they could do it some other time. But not communicating wasn't exactly their thing anymore. 

Mustering all the confidence she could, she made her way down the stairs, catching his attention at the halfway point when he turned to face her in the, now quiet, entryway. 

She stopped when she made it to the bottom and caved. No words came out, not even the ones she wanted to start with, teasing him about the girlfriend thing. Just... nothingness. 

So he said something first, but it wasn’t without sucking in a breath of air and hiding his shaky hands in his pockets, “It’s not because I don’t want you, Y/N, believe me, I do. I always have.” 

Her words got stuck again as she just stared at him, not even sure where to begin, but then his voice took over once more.

“I’m just scared that if I make the wrong move and hurt you, you’ll think of me differently... and I don’t want that.” 

He didn’t want her to think of him differently. To associate him with her past in any way. She thought back to when they’d been fighting over that pillow and he made the wrong move. Is that why he was so scared? He didn’t want to do that again? 

She took the last few steps toward him until she was only inches away. “Even if that happens, Harry, I won’t think of you any differently. You don’t think of me any differently, do you?” 

He shook his head immediately, but it seemed as if his words were caught on his tongue now too as his eyes began to glass over. 

“I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.” She began again, reaching her hand up to wipe away the wetness underneath his eye when the panicking tear had finally escaped. “You’re not him.” 

He nodded, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment and when he opened them again, they weren’t as full of sadness and anxiety. “I know, but what if I--” 

She pressed her thumb against his lips and he stopped talking. “You won’t. I do want you too, you know.” 

When he laughed, she made it a point to remember his smile because it seemed like she’d been going without it recently for way too long. She glanced up at his eyes when the noise faded, just before pulling him into her arms. 

She wasn’t much of a hugger, but she supposed it was just another thing about her that Harry had managed to dismantle. Or maybe it was her all this time, breaking down all of her own comfort zones with a little bit of his help along the way. 

He nuzzled his face into her neck at first, breathing her in as he wrapped his arms around her too and brought her closer. 

“Maybe we can try tonight?” He whispered softly after a moment, his lips at her ear. 

“At my place?”

He shrugged, “We’re going to tell them, aren’t we?”

There was the other thing they hadn’t discussed yet. 

“What exactly would we say if we did?” She asked.

Harry thought about it for a moment, burying his face again before resting his chin on her shoulder. “They don’t have to know everything.”

She shook both of them laughing, “That still doesn’t answer my question.” 

He pulled back from her embrace until he was able to look into her eyes again. “We can just tell them we’ve been seeing each other. And that I asked you to be my girlfriend.” 

She didn’t want a big, cheesy smile to flood her entire face, but her mouth completely betrayed her. “I don’t recall you ever asking me that...” 

“I’m asking you now... will you?” 

Y/N also hated labeling things. But being Harry’s girlfriend was an exception she’d more than allow. 

“I guess.” She rolled her eyes dramatically like she didn’t actually care as much as she did. It was her thing though and she never failed to make Harry laugh, so he’d allow that too. 

“I guess,” he parroted, in a higher-pitched tone to mock her playfully. “I guess we’re dating now then and I guess I’ll come over and have sex with you too.” 

She didn’t love him any more than she did at that moment. 

After making out in the kitchen while they unsuccessfully made waffles, and after going through Starbucks instead and eating in the front seat of his car while watching the freeway, it was past two o’clock and her nerves were on fire thinking about making it home before Will did. 

She still wasn’t sure about telling everyone, and how that might change things with Harry, so as far as she was concerned, she was keeping it a secret until she was absolutely sure she no longer wanted it to be. 

So after lazing around with Harry on his bed for the rest of the afternoon, he drove her home. 

And six o’clock came a lot slower than it ever had. Will got home around five-thirty, giving Y/N plenty of time to make her room look lived in and for her to start some laundry. And change her clothes so that every inch of her didn’t ooze Harry. 

Violet and James arrived shortly after, Violet because she’d recently been going home on the weekends to take care of her grandma and James because he was James and didn’t spend much time at the apartment anyway. But also because he had his own weekend getaway with his girlfriend. 

Y/N joined them when she smelled Chinese takeout. 

Will pulled her against his side, draping his arm around her shoulder, once she was close enough. “I know we all work tomorrow but I really needed to just hang out tonight after everything. So thanks for being here... even though yall live here.” 

Violet began digging into the containers as Will pulled his arm away from Y/N to do the same just before a lightbulb went off in his head, “Oh, I also invited Harry and he said he’d come, but,” Will checked his watch, “he’s late.” 

Y/N glanced at the clock on the stove to confirm it. He was late. By almost ten minutes. She hadn’t realized the time until now even though it had been the only thing on her mind all day. 

Her appetite plummeted when she started worrying about why he was late. Eight minutes wasn’t anything to lose her mind over, she knew that, but considering what they’d discussed earlier, she began to think that he was, for lack of a better term, chickening out. 

He was thirteen minutes late when he finally arrived, blaming it on the fact that he didn’t think about bringing anything until he was already halfway to their apartment and then made a quick stop. When he pulled out a bag of Hershey Kisses and set them in front of Y/N on the counter, however, she forgave him for the five minutes he made her spend worrying. 

He also brought two bottles of wine and a family-sized bag of spicy Doritios with him too. So it was officially a party. 

Everyone took their food to the dining table and Y/N tried not to make it obvious she was headed straight for the seat beside Harry. They’d never sat not on opposite sides, but they’d also never been officially dating either. 

The opportunity to spill everything never really came the way Y/N would have liked it to. And, sure, she was using that as her excuse, but Violet was also extremely chatty, more than usual. 

After a couple minutes, when they’d all already made a dent in their meals, Y/N tuned everyone out and got lost in her head. Her right hand rested on her thigh while she twirled chow-mein around her fork with the other. She knew Harry would never do it for her, unless she explicitly asked him to, and seeing as she hadn’t done that beforehand, telling her roommates was solely up to her. And she didn’t have the balls to do that yet. 

She felt his fingers brush against hers under the table and it brought her out of her reprieve, even more so when Harry wrapped his hand completely around hers, lacing their fingers on top of her leg and giving her a gentle squeeze. 

Glancing at him, however, he pretended like nothing was happening under the table at all as he continued eating and never once met her eyes. He just wanted her to know that she didn’t have to say anything if she didn’t want to, and he was okay no matter what she decided. With his hand still firmly around hers, it was enough reassurance to actually eat the noodles she’d been absently playing with. 

A loud snore rang through the living room just moments before Will rolled over on his side and his back faced the only two people still awake. Her other two roommates already retreated to their bedrooms once the movie ended, but Will hadn’t made it that far. He had passed out about halfway through and, apart from a few seconds ago, hadn’t made a sound or moved the entire time since. 

It was nearing nine o’clock when Y/N took herself and her big fluffy blanket to Harry’s couch, sitting right beside him as she covered both of them in it and cuddled into his side. She’d wanted to do it since she was forced into a spot nowhere near him, but considering her inability to tell her roommates about her and Harry, she had to suffer through the entire movie sitting next to Violet. 

Now, however, she wasted no time getting comfortable and neither did he. Sure, she still glanced over at Will a lot, just to make sure, but she also wouldn’t mind too much if he woke up and found them together. 

Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close so that she was using his chest as a pillow while they watched what was left of a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode. He gave her a suspicious look when he heard crinkling coming from underneath the blanket, but his questions were answered when her hand poked out from underneath and she held a Hershey’s kiss right in front of his lips. Grinning, he opened his mouth and let her pop the piece of candy in. She was still just as weird as she always was and he was still just as in love with it and with her. 

But when she pushed up to connect their mouths, after giving Will another quick glance, he was positive she just wanted him to taste like chocolate when she kissed him. He didn’t really care that much though, he’d wanted to kiss her all night anyway. 

It went from an innocent, soft kiss to something deeper a lot faster than either of them intended. It suddenly became the way they kissed each other only when no one else was around, and yet they were doing it right in the middle of her apartment, where Violet could walk out and see them or Will could turn over and catch them. And she suddenly just... didn't really care. 

But then Harry’s hand was on her thigh, his fingertips trailing north someplace they’d already explored before and she quickly grabbed his wrist in a gasp and broke away from him. “Can we try now?” She whispered. 

He looked terrified but he still nodded, he still followed as she pulled them both up from the couch, as she laced her fingers with his and led the way to her bedroom. Even though his nerves were on fire, he still closed the door behind them when she was far too concerned with attaching their lips again. He was thankful for it, though, when she pushed him against the door and a gasping noise came out of him that might’ve woken everyone in the apartment if her mouth hadn’t muffled it. 

“Do you have um...? Because I don't...” She whispered, pulling away but keeping her eyes glued to his lips. Overthinking every little detail about this very moment had become her pastime earlier in the day, and amongst stressing about whether or not Harry would let her keep the lights off, she worried about protection and her lack thereof. She never really needed it and hoped Harry was more prepared than she was. 

His hand slipped from her face to his front pocket where he dug out two condoms and held them up to her. “I didn't go to the store to buy your favorite candy... realized when I was about two minutes away that I didn’t bring any.” 

It oddly soothed her nerves that he went out of his way to get them. That he could have come here without them and use that as another reason not to sleep with her. He was, most definitely not, chickening out. 

She took them from him and ventured further into her room, leaving him with his back pressed against the door, watching her curiously as she set the condoms down on her bedside table and flipped her lamp off that she’d left on from earlier. 

“Is that okay?” She asked and even though his eyes were still adjusting to the darkness engulfing them, he could still tell she’d turned to face him again. Slowly, he stepped up to her, making out her features when he was close enough to tuck her hair behind her ear. 

“Whatever makes you comfortable is always okay, Y/N.” He felt her smile with his thumb pressed to her cheek more than he saw it, especially when it disappeared as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and made room between them again as she pulled it over her head. 

He sucked in a breath of air watching her, the dim light annoyed him, but her needs came first, way before his own selfish need to see her properly did. Maybe one day she’d be fine with that, but he respected that right now she wasn’t. 

It didn’t matter when he felt her fingertips glide down his arms until she wrapped them around his wrists and pulled his hands up to her waist. Maybe one day he’d touch her without her guiding him, too. 

They had all the time in the world to get it right, he supposed. 

His hands slipped up her sides, his thumbs grazing the underwire of her bra, having no idea if she was okay with taking it off. It escaped his mind when she moved her hands from his wrists to her jeans and before she even got the button undone, his hands came over the top of hers, gently pushing her aside so he could at least do one thing himself. 

Her heart raced while he slowly undid the zip and then tucked his fingers under the band at her hips, tugging her jeans off. As soon as he had them down to her thighs, she sat on the edge of her bed, gripping his shoulder for support as he slid them off and into the pile with her shirt.    

It quickly gained a couple more pieces of fabric as he pulled his own shirt off and she dealt with his pants, too. Soon enough, they were on the same playing field and he gained a bit more courage as he kissed her again, slowly laying her back on the bed and bringing his knee up to the mattress next to her for better leverage. 

He had no idea if he was going too fast or too slow, but he trusted her to tell him if it was too much. 

So when she pressed her hands flat onto his chest and pushed him away, he nearly had a heart attack. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled, seeing the outline of both confusion and terror on his face, “can we get under the blanket? I’m cold.” 

There was no subtlety in the way he sighed, relieved she hadn’t pushed him away for the other reasons he had feared. He whispered, “Okay,” against her lips and moved. Standing away from her, he gave her room to crawl under the covers, maneuvering the pillows under her head until she was comfortable and then folded the blanket over to invite him in. 

Despite it being objectively chilly in their apartment, Harry didn’t exactly share her concerns. His body temperature just seemed to increase the closer he got to her, reaching an all-time high when he got back into bed with her and she wasted no time picking up where they left off. 

His skin burned everywhere she touched him. When she gripped his biceps and just about forced him back on top of her, when her fingertips traced over his butterfly tattoo in a way he was familiar with. When her hands finally settled at the back of his neck and she played with the ends of his hair while they kissed. 

He took some of the lead again, moving so that he settled between her legs and reached his hand down to her thigh to let her know it was okay to wrap herself around him. And when they were that close, it was easy to feel just how hot Harry had gotten. 

And when she felt him, there was no stopping the moan that escaped from her lips, even though she had no idea where it came from. It almost sounded foreign, like Harry had been the one moaning, not her, but unless he knew how to throw his voice, she knew that it was most definitely not him that made that ungodly sound. 

Smiling against her mouth, he pressed his hips into her a little more and they both rather quickly warmed up to the idea of having fewer layers between them already. 

While he kissed her and while his hands wandered, particularly to her chest, she reached over and blindly sought out the condoms, her fingers traveling along the wooden top of her nightstand a few frustrating moments until she finally grazed the foil packaging. And then she tucked them right into Harry’s hand. 

He took the hint, although hesitantly, and sat back on his knees. While he tore along the perforation to separate the two he brought--just in case--she sat in restless anticipation, admiring the way what little light there was reflected off his skin. She thought about being with him like this way too often, more than she’d ever admit to him. She thought about his shoulders and his arms that spent the past month holding her so innocently and how much she wished she had other memories that involved his arms. But, now, here she was, tracing the curves of his muscles all the way down to where he was currently preoccupied. 

And well... shit.

Harry was anything but small. 

“Everything alright?” He asked, only glancing at her while most of his focus remained on sliding the condom on himself, but he could still tell she’d tensed up a bit. 

Swallowing, her eyes flickered towards his face again. “It’s probably obvious but um... I’ve never actually... besides...” 

That seemed to do the trick of putting his entire focus straight on her as his fingers froze in place and his nostrils flared. She couldn’t quite tell if it was in a bad way or not yet, not until he opened his mouth. 

“If you don’t want to--” 

“No. I do.” 

He nodded slightly, fitting the condom on all the way finally and sighed, “I’ll be careful, I promise.” 

Before he made any of the moves towards her that she desperately wanted him to, he slipped himself out of his boxers and joined them with their mixed pile of clothes. She couldn’t quite tell which she enjoyed more, his jeans on her floor or her dress on his. 

Right when she thought he was coming back to kiss her, he instead spread himself down the length of the bed and settled his shoulders between her legs, not at all unlike he had last night. He worked a lot quicker though, possibly because he knew he’d made her wait long enough and because he was also sick of waiting. But, making sure she was more than ready for him was currently at the top of his priorities list. 

He tucked his index finger underneath her panties and pulled them to the side, causing her to squirm in a way he was already used to. Holding her down, he made himself at home all over again. She was already wet, that much he knew, but it didn’t take long before she turned into a puddle around his fingertips and he figured there was no point in waiting any longer. 

Fitting his hips back between her legs, he kissed her cheek softly and then brushed his lips past her ear. “I need you to tell me if you want to stop, okay? Don’t let me keep going if you don’t want to.” 

The bubbling pressure in her stomach got so bad it made her dizzy, but she loved every second of it because he was making her feel that way. Although, it did concern her when he hadn’t even really done anything yet and she was already that much of a mess for him. 

She nodded when he came back to look into her eyes, eyes that he got lost in one too many times. He didn’t see them all that clearly now, but just enough shone through the darkness to assure him that she would do what he asked. 

His lips were at her mouth next, kissing her softly as his hand disappeared under the covers between them until she felt him pushing her legs further apart, slipping her panties out of the way again. And then it really was him moaning when he guided himself almost painfully slowly inside of her. She dug her nails into his back and kissed him harder to subside the pain of him stretching her out but never once did she want him to stop. 

He did, however, when she gasped and he felt her tensing up around him, making it impossible for him to go any further even if he wanted to. 

He pulled his lips away and used his free hand to swipe loose strands of hair from her face, “Need me to stop?” 

“No, just...” she sighed, not wanting to admit what she was about to admit, knowing it would possibly freak him out, but she felt like she had to, “you’re kind of abnormally... big and it hurts a little.” 

The little smirk on his face lasted for about half a second and before he could say anything, she cut him off just as he opened his mouth. “But I don’t want you to stop.” 

Sighing, he adjusted his weight on top of her, “You have to relax then, Y/N. It’ll hurt worse if you don’t and I don’t want that.” 

Nodding, she knew he was right and she knew he wasn’t doing anything else until she did. So, she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, inhaling deep and exhaling all of her doubts and her worries. Once he felt her body start to unwind itself again, he got right back to it. Until he was muffling the noise coming out of his mouth as he filled her up as far as he could until finally bottoming out. 

He stayed there for a moment, contemplating on telling her how good she felt. Good didn’t even begin to cover it though. He couldn’t even think of the right word. Hell, he couldn't even think straight to begin with. She took him right back to that summery day on the beach again in his head. She was warm like the bright sun reflecting off the waves. Soft like the sand under his fingertips. He could stay there for hours. 

Instead, he only stayed there for a few more moments, until he was confident she was somewhat accustomed to him and then he did it all over again. Using his hips to slide out and then right back into her only a smidge faster this time. She still gasped into his mouth, still dug her fingernails into his skin, but she had completely let go this time. 

A few more times exactly like that and then she was in his ear, pleading with him to, “please go faster, I’m okay. Just... please Harry.” 

He did as she asked almost immediately, picking up the pace with each and every thrust as she continued to beg him to go faster. It wasn’t until he adjusted his weight, his arms cramping in their current position, that he was able to get a little deeper, that she moaned so loud he had to clamp his hand down over her mouth before she woke up not only her roommates, but the entire floor. If they were at his house, he would have let her scream all she wanted and he would’ve basked in it too because he already knew it took a lot to get anything out of her. So hearing her now turned him on more than ever before--if that were possible. 

He grinned cockily as he continued to hit the same spot that made her moan in the first place, and that continued to make her eyes roll back in her head. “Feels good?” He asked, his voice shaky with his motions and she just nodded, still with her eyes closed and his hand over her mouth. Giggling, he slipped his hand away and kissed her again. 

It didn’t take too long, but they were both close to losing all control in a matter of seconds when she wrapped a hand around his bicep and asked him to stop. And he did, straight away without a second thought, pulling out and searching her face to make sure she was alright. 

Her eyes were still fluttered shut as she breathed heavily through her mouth, but once she finally found her words, they came out as a self-conscious whisper. “Can I get on top?” 

It wasn’t that she was uncomfortable, per se. Overwhelmed was a better description. And when she was overwhelmed, her mind liked to kick into overdrive. Maybe she’d asked too much of Harry too soon, or it was the fact that she couldn’t keep her eyes open, but she knew she’d just feel better if she was the one with more control again. 

He nodded, “Sure.” Even though he was a lot more into the idea than he was letting on. He had no clue she’d be into riding him or they might’ve been doing that all along. It didn’t matter now though, as he held her close to support her weight and flipped them over so that he was on his back now and she straddled his waist. 

He kicked off as much of the blanket as he could from his legs while she made sure it was firmly wrapped around herself and he helped as she fit him back into place, nearly slipping off the edge early when he felt her fingers on him for the first time. 

And then they were picking up where they left off, but it felt a million times more amazing, again, if that were even possible. His hands slipped down to her waist, digging his fingers in and guiding her. He couldn’t quite help the way his hips bucked up into her when she didn’t go fast enough, but he also didn’t want to make her do something she didn’t want to do. So he dealt with it, bit down on his lip until he nearly drew blood, and sunk into her pillows with his eyebrows pulled tight. Because, fuck, she felt amazing but also, fuck, he wanted so much more. 

She planted her hands right on top of the butterfly, feeling how slick his skin was with sweat and not being as insecure about her own on her forehead. She felt his leg twitch from underneath her while she rode him, knowing she wasn’t doing enough, not at all like he’d been doing. But the new position made her feel so much better and watching him writhing below her was oddly satisfying. 

“Shit,” he whined suddenly, his eyes peeking out at her only briefly before his head fell back again. “Come’ere, please.” His begging came with his hands slipping up her belly and around to her back until she was laying on top of him, wrapping her arms up under his neck as she shared some of the control with him again. 

His fingers were back at her hips within a millisecond, thrusting up into her this time just as quickly as he’d gone when their roles were reversed. She buried her head in the crook of his neck after kissing him when she could no longer hold on. When neither of them could. When he was gasping for air and she was nearly tearing his hair out, whispering how much she loved him in his ear as he took them both up to the clouds. 

His hips stopped, slamming against her as he buried himself deep again and came just as she did, having to muffle his moans into her shoulder while tears stung his eyes and he had no fucking idea he was crying until she lifted herself to look at him and wiped at his cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” She whispered. He hadn’t even pulled out of her yet and he was fucking crying. 

Lifting his own hand to his face, while the other one remained on her hip, he hid in embarrassment, trying to make his stupid reaction go away. He’d never cried before and wasn’t sure why he was now. 

“Hey,” she pouted, pulling at his wrist to get him to stop. He looked at her through glassy eyes while she held onto his hand, kissing the back of it to calm him down. 

“Sorry. I... don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay." She assured. "If it’s any consolation, I like you even more now.” 

When he laughed, she became all too aware again that he was still very much inside of her. “Even though I cry after having sex?” 

She shrugged, “You’re only human, right?” 

They laid in their same old ways, with him on his back, her curled into his side and his arm firmly around her shoulders, twirling her hair around his fingers, for a few peaceful minutes afterward. That was until the knock on her door that pulled them both from their bubble and filled their heads with a million different worries. The most prominent being that they’d been too loud and woke someone up. There really was no way of explaining themselves out of that. 

Y/N cleared her throat and jolted up to the edge of her bed, facing the door. “One second.” 

She located her shirt on the floor quickly, throwing it over her head in a panic when the only thing on her mind was what excuse she would be using. Stepping up to the door, she took a deep breath and brushed her hair down, praying that this was not how her roommates found out, when she could still feel Harry inside her and her cheeks were still flushed. 

She turned the knob and cracked the door open just far enough to peek out, in almost the exact same way she had the first time she was forced to hide the fact that Harry was in her bed. 

Will stood on the other side, yawning with squinted eyes and slouched shoulders. It was obvious he’d just woken up and she prayed a second time it wasn’t because he heard the noises coming from her room. 

“Hey, uh, sorry for knocking out, I didn’t get much sleep this weekend.” He yawned again and she sighed in relief. “Did Harry leave already?” 

“Uh—“ She started but when she saw the way Will’s brows twisted in confusion as he glanced down the front of her, she was quickly cut off. 

“Isn’t that his shirt?”

She glanced behind her just in time to find Harry hiding his face in his hands. Shit.

She was fucked. There was no explaining it, at least not in any way that Will would ever believe. She stupidly put Harry's graphic tee on instead of her own and there was no going back from it.

Will’s hand came to the door and he pushed it open when she continued to remain quiet. He got it open just far enough to find Harry perched against her pillows, shirtless and flashing him a deer in headlights kind of look as he slipped his hands down his face. 

“What the fuck?” 

“Shh!” She pressed her hand to Will’s chest, begging him to be quiet. It was bad enough him finding out this way, she didn’t need anyone else waking up right now either. 

“You lied to me.” He accused, eyes still wide and in disbelief but he kept his voice down this time. “How long has this been going on?” 

She couldn’t tell if he was more angry or upset and hurt, but either way she didn’t like it. “I’m sorry.” 

Will’s eyes fell back on her and he grew even more distressed, “How long, Y/N?” 

Out of fear more than anything else, she responded honestly and sheepishly. “Couple months we’ve been seeing each other.” 

“Two months?” Will repeated, taking a step closer and forcing Y/N back into her room so that he could get a good look at Harry. “All those fucking songs were about my goddamn roommate? You’ve been going behind my back and lying to me all this fucking time?” 

“Will.” She tried to get him to calm down again. 

“Don’t Will me. I knew there was something going on after that party but you told me you didn’t like him. What the fuck, Y/N?” 

She cringed, hoping Harry would have never had to find out about what she told Will to convince him their reckless partying was only just that. Meaningless, when it was, in fact, not. 

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, both to Will and to Harry, when she glanced back at him again to find his eyes glued to his hands instead of the mess at her door. Then she brought her attention back to Will, “I was going to tell you, but I didn’t know how.” 

Will’s eyebrows nearly hit the ceiling. “I mean, a simple, ‘hey I’m sleeping with your best friend, is that cool?’ would have sufficed.” 

She pulled her lips into her mouth and bit down on them, not wanting to add any fuel to the fire by correcting him. Will’s idea of them sleeping together was most definitely not their own, but she supposed Will didn’t need to know the whole truth.    

“God!” Will continued, but still not being loud enough to wake anyone, “This is why you didn’t care about me leaving you at his house the other night?” 

Her silence answered that question more than enough. 

“Jesus,” Will ran his hand down his chin but it did seem like he was finally calming down. “Shit, well sorry for interrupting. Me and yall are gonna have a chat tomorrow though when I’m not half-asleep.” 

Y/N nodded eagerly, perfectly okay with that as long as he was no longer angry at them.

“But Harry,” Will backtracked and stressed Y/N out again, “I know you both already fucked with each other’s feelings, but if you hurt her again, I will kill you.”

Harry swallowed, finding not a single ounce of insincerity in Will’s threat and so he nodded obediently, not that he had any intentions of ever hurting Y/N again. 

“Fuck, okay,” Will huffed, “goodnight, then.” Reluctantly, he left, giving them one last look over his shoulder like he still didn’t believe it, and like they were both actually insane, but, finally, he was gone. And after she watched him saunter off down the hall to his bedroom, she closed the door and locked it for good measure. 

It was quiet in her room for a long time, or what felt like a long time anyways. The giant elephant Will had left between them made her refrain from turning around and looking at Harry without having something prepared to say to him. 

He said it first, however.

“You told him you didn't like me?” 

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a moment to catch her breath, and then turned. And he looked just as heartbroken as she imagined he would. “It was a while ago. He asked me if there was something going on between us after he saw us dancing at that party. What was I supposed to say?” 

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Anything would have been better than that.” 

“Are you mad at me?” She whispered, praying that he wasn’t because she couldn’t handle what just happened with Will and Harry being upset with her too. 

His eyes shot back to hers in a heartbeat, “No.” Sighing, he ran his fingers through his hair, “I get why you said it.” 

“I know this is an understatement, but I don’t really know how to express my feelings very well, Harry. I did like you back then, more than I should have. And I do love you now, more than I know what to do with.” 

That seemed to settle his worries when his lips spread into the slightest bit of a smile. “Guess the cat’s out of the bag then.” 

She rolled her eyes up at the ceiling, unable to conceal her grin especially not when they found each other’s gazes and a moment later he pulled the blanket back to invite her in this time. 

“Guess the cat should get her ass back over here now.” 

Once she was there, in his arms again, all feelings of insecurity and doubt washed away, it felt like home. Especially when he pressed his lips to her forehead and whispered something she’d never get sick of hearing coming out of his mouth. 

“I guess I love you too.” 

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[aussiearrow]

Married In Vegas - E. Phantasmo

Taglist: @bitterendbrutalizer , @hotyeehawman want to be added ? Just let me know.

Warnings: I curse a lot so there's a handful thrown in there, elp ( always a warning ), alcohol.

Married In Vegas. - E.Phantasmo

" No good for me or my frame of mind. I think about you all the time. A pretty little thing could wreck me 25. Just say the words, and I'm all ears. Let's turn a drink into 5 years. Spend my money oh, honey come bleed me dry. I came here to be somewhere else, I found you and I found myself. Mister, mister I'm all in. Bet your house and I'll call it."

As Kal got out of the shower every part of her wanted Riley to not be sitting outside the bathroom door. That he made things much easier on her and went to change or was already down at the lobby meeting up with the rest of their friends.

But as she walked through the bathroom door and back into the room, she knew that thought would be to good to be true. Riley sat in the same spot she left him in just minutes before.

"I thought you would have left by now." Kal said as Riley shrugged his shoulders.

"Figured they all already know we were together. So what was the point to come down alone?" Riley said.

Kal almost felt bad when she heard the tone of Riley's voice but truth is her guard went up immediately and in a situation like that she definitely didn't want that attention." Okay, I'm ready whenever you are."

Riley stood up as he made his way out the door as Kal followed suit," Wait up." Kal said as Riley stopped as she caught up to him and looked down at his hand to see that it was still sitting pretty on his finger," You should probably take the ring off." Kal said.

" Like you did?" Riley said as he began walking again.

"Well yeah, the whole part of not telling anyone kind of means not wearing them too."

"Well good you don't have to wear yours than, nobody will think it's you with the way you're acting now. Totally not suspicious , you should be an actress. Screw whatever it is that you do now." Riley said as they got out of the elevator.

"Okay what the hell?" Kal said as she grabbed his arm to get him to stop but let go when he turned around at the same time as all their friends did.

"What? Am I doing something else wrong that you want to tell me about?" As she shook her head and let his arm go as Taiji approached them.

"You left me." Taiji said as he shook his head at the both of them," Where did you guys go?"

"Just a couple more bars." Kal said with a shrug.

"And lovely trip too." Kal looked at him with daggers as Taiji gave them a weird look," To Kal's hotel room."

"I'm not surprised one bit and those walls are thin." He said as Riley could do nothing but laugh.

" Well look who finally decides to join the group." Jay said as they all walked over.

"Coming from one half of the two that abandoned it last night." Kal said as most of the group laughed.

"From what we heard from Taiji you and Riley here didn't seem to care all that much."

"Can we not talk about that anymore?" Kal said as she sighed.

"Oof Riley didn't show you a good time?" Riley scoffed as Will laughed.

Kal stood there utterly defeated," Let's just go eat lunch please."

Kenta looked at her before shooting the guys a look about continuing on right now. Once they got to lunch Kal couldn't pick the chair further from Riley but somehow they both ended up being right across from one another.

Kal turned her head as Kenta sat next to her," Are you okay?" He asked her.

She nodded her head," Just a long morning that's all." Kal said as he nodded not really wanting to continue the conversation even though she knew it was needed. But he also knew better than to not bring it up around their friends.

"Secrets don't keep friends." Bea said in their direction.

"Why not? Kal loves them." Riley said as he took a sip of his water with a laugh.

"And Riley likes to make passive aggressive comments and beat around the bush instead of saying how he feels cause that gets you places."

"And Kal thinks that everything should go her way and shuts down the person who tries to talk."

"As much as I love hearing the back and forth. You two literally just met yesterday ran off now are acting like you've been married for years." Taiji said.

The two immediately went quiet before Kal looked right at Riley," As if I'd ever marry someone like him when I'm in the right state of mind."

"Well I guess it's good that you weren't last night than." Riley said, as Kal immediately stopped what she was doing and was about to get up and leave when he followed up with," When we slept together." But Kal barely heard it as her heart was beating way too fast.

Kenta looked at her,” Alright that’s enough.” Kal returned his look with thankful eyes. It seemed as if no matter what she could count on Kenta to make sure things were okay and that everyone made sure things were good.

The rest of the lunch was quiet for Riley and and Kal as their friends all talked about what they wanted to do.

“ I’m sure Kal here doesn’t care as long as it involves getting drunk and making more bad decisions.”

Kal decided not to raise anymore suspicion and nod her head in agreement,” Yes pleased maybe less bad decisions this time and more drinking.”

“ There she is, she got some food in her so now she’s not so-“ Will began to say.

“ Don’t finish that sentence we can always fight right here.”

“I’ll let Bea handle my light work.” Will said as he wrapped an arm around Bea.

“ My money’s on Kal here, from what I heard from Kasey she can go.” Jay said as Kasey and Kenta agreed.

“ We’ll have to be the judge of that.” Taiji said,” Right Riley?”

He shrugged his shoulders,” I think Will can take her.”

Pushin 106 down PCH. I drink it down, the aftertaste tastes like heartbreak and mistakes. But I can’t wait to walk around the starry strip. I feel it all , it feels like bliss. I show my hand, they look like this. Mister, Mister I’m all in, bet your house and I’ll call it.

As the group headed to the casino Kenta stayed back by Kal,” So what’s really wrong?”

“A lot.” Kal said honestly as she looked at him.

“And would it have anything to do with the ring on your necklace?”

Kal nodded,” Everything.”

“ Did you talk to him?”

“ Was it that obvious?”

“To most people probably not, but to me yes. I know both of you really well and I know that it’s not over just some drunken hook up.”

“ I really messed up.”

“ Wasn’t aware you can marry yourself.” Kenta said as Kal looked at him with a pout,” Did you guys even talk about everything?”

“ He wanted too, I was in pure panic mode and took the flight option. Now he won’t even look at me.”

“ You’re right he won’t, at least not when you’re looking at him too.”

“ I messed up. My mom wasn’t there, hell none of my family. You weren’t there. Kasey wasn’t my maid of honor. I barely even knew the guy I married. Oh my god Kenta, I don’t even know my last name. How do you not see the problem here?”

Kenta laughed as Kal told him just how this wasn’t funny,” No it definitely is. I know your last name.” He said as he threw an arm around her.

“ Care to enlighten me?”

“ Nope, that you have to ask your husband who keeps looking back here at us, think he might kill me if I don’t take my arm off you but I’m willing to see how it plays out if I don’t. As for everything else if you’re getting it annulled you can still have all of that and it would basically be like none of this happened.” Kenta said and Kal got quiet.

“ Yeah I uh I guess you’re right.”

“ You don’t want to do you?” Kenta asked her as she looked at him with a shrug.

“ I don’t know what I want.”

“ Let bone daddy here pick out what you drink tonight you won’t be disappointed.” Taiji said as the group laughed.

“ Think she prefers what Kenta says.” Riley said.

“ I don’t think so, last time I drank what Kenta told me I swear I was still drunk 2 days later.” Kal said as Kenta laughed.

Riley looked a little surprised at her giving him an actual response. As he chose to raise his eyebrows at her as she shrugged.

“ Talk to him Kalyssa.”

“ Oof, you’re using my full name on me now?” Kal said as she made a face as she broke apart from him and stepped forward to take the door from Riley as Kenta pushed her right into him.

“ I think Kal here is still drunk” Kenta said as he walked through the door as Riley looked at Kal as she straightened herself out with his arm around her waist to steady her.

“ Falling for me already?” Riley said as he knew he might as well play it off exactly how she wanted them too.

Kal just shook her head with a laugh as a slight blush played on her cheeks as she turned away from him,” For the record Kenta pushed me.”

Riley gave her hip a squeeze before letting go,” Sure he did.” As Kal was about to respond before Toni grabbed her and brought her to where the girls currently were.

Riley watched as Kasey pointed somewhere behind him as he looked and saw the guys in their own area. As Kal looked over her shoulder he was already turned and walking towards all the guys as she felt a tug on her hand before she turned back around.

“ Don’t worry you can see lover boy later. “ Bea said.

As Kal shook her head,” I was just trying to defend myself against Kenta’s sneak attack.” Kal said.

“Mhm sure you were.” Kasey said as Kal sat down next to her,” So how was it?”

“ How was what? My night out? So great I don’t even know half of it.”

“ Let me see your phone , I know you when you get drunk you suddenly think your this awesome photographer.” Kasey said as she held her hand out for it as Kal looked down at it.

She didn’t even think to look through the pictures on her phone, they probably told a lot of stories in their own right. As Kal shook her head no, if her phone had stories she didn’t even know yet she certainly didn’t want the girls finding it out this way.

“ That’s probably not a good idea. Who knows what her and Riley recorded.”

“ Can we stop talking about him?” Kal said as she shifted in her seat as she gave them a pleading look.

“ Not until you humor us with something.”

“ Okay fine the only thing I can really tell you is that we made out multiple times before everything got all fuzzy with my memories l and he offered a round two.”

“ Round two? When?”

“ This morning.”

“ If you’re about to tell me that’s why you ignored every single one of my phone calls I don’t know if I’ll be proud of you or mad at you more.” Kasey said with a laugh.

“ Well I hate to break it you, it didn’t happen this morning.”

“So are you saying it may?”

Kal took a sip of her drink and gave a shrug,” I don’t know if we’re being honest, but I wouldn’t be opposed.” Kal said as the girls all ooh’d.

She shook her head at them as they continued on. She really wanted to let loose and have some fun while she was here but her mind kept going back to everything that happened the night before.

The night went as the two groups came back together when they decided to go to the bar down the street, Kal was only nursing her third drink when Kenta sat down next to her,” I counted this is the third drink usually you are way ahead of me.”

“ I know, I’ll get there. I’m still feeling the after effects from last night.” Kal said ,” But Kasey brought up something and I don’t want to look alone.”

“ Pictures?” Kenta said as Kal nodded.

“ Why does everyone know that but me?”

“ Why do you think we take your phone away? Remember that mishap with Jay’s Instagram?” As Kal looked at him.

“ He added to that so it’s not completely my fault.”

Kal handed her phone over to him as he unlocked the phone and went to the pictures app. There was definitely pictures that Kal didn’t see before at the bottom.

“ These aren’t that bad actually, I take it as Riley or someone else took them.”

“ You don’t think I did?”

“ I know you didn’t your thumb isn’t in half of them and we can see things clearly.” Kenta said as he continued to scroll through all the pictures.

Kal looked at them all as she leaned against Kenta ,” Well at least I know I had fun.” Kal said.

“ Yeah lots. Wait here.” Kenta said as he showed Kal a picture and it was definitely of some chapel. As she took the phone from his hands as she took a closer look before Kenta looked down,” If it means anything, Riley was into his phone and just about killed Taiji when he took it from him. So he might have some more. As that’s the only one you have.”

Kal sighed as she put her phone away,” I think I need more drinks.”

“ What you need to do is talk to Riley before we leave Vegas, he’s going back to Japan right after this for 3 months and you’ll be in Florida.”

“ Great even more to think about and remember.” Kal said as she got up from the seat.

“ Kal said , we don’t have to.”

“ Don’t have to what?” Riley said as he approached the two.

“ Talk about anything. “ Kal said as she went to get drinks with Riley following closely behind.

“ Does accidentally marrying me make you that uncomfortable?” Riley said as they got to the bar.

“ Well no, but here isn’t the place to talk about it either.”

“ But you’ll talk to Kenta,” Riley said,” Apparently anywhere I want to talk isn’t good for you. So I give up, you let me know what we need to do and I’ll do it no questions asked.” He said as he went to grab his drink and walk away.

Kal grabbed his arm,” Wait no, I want to talk to you about this. I really do. I just don’t know how. And I keep psyching myself out every time. Only reason I’ve been talking to Kenta is apparently he put two and two together.”

“ Wait Kenta knows?” Riley said as Kal nodded,” And you didn’t want me to tell anyone yet you can?”

“ I didn’t tell him anything, he found out on his own. When we were walking here he said my problem doesn’t have anything to do with the ring on my necklace does if? And I told him it has everything to do with it. And he said he figured apparently we’re both not good at hiding things.”

“ So he knows? How long until he tells everyone else?”

“ He won’t , he’ll let that up to one of us to slip.” Kal said.

“ And you’re wearing it on your necklace?” Riley asked as he looked with raised eyebrows.

“ Just because I didn’t want to wear it on my finger right away until we figured things out doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to wear it in a different way.” Kal said.

“ I think that’s the nicest thing you said to me since last night.” Riley said with a laugh.

“ I can take it back.”

“ No, no I like it.” Riley said as he smiled at her.

“ Me too.” Kal said as she grabbed her drink,” We can talk more tonight.”

“ Good I’m glad. I can’t wait.” Riley said as he led her through the crowd and back to their group of friends. Not letting her hand go.

“ There you guys are, thought you ditched as again.” Juice said.

“Not yet, nights still young.” Taiji said ,” I’m just not going to be the one keeping on eye on them this time.”

Kal laughed,” I’m sorry for my part in that.”

“ I’m not makes up for those times in Tokyo.” Riley said.

“ What happened in Tokyo?” Kal asked as Jay laughed.

“ You don’t even want to know.” Bea said as the rest laughed as Kal just took the response with a nod.

As Riley looked down,” I’ll tell you later, so that way there is no bias responses.” He said as he whispered in her ear as Kal laughed.

“ So when are you two going to join us for a double date?” Kasey said as she looked at Riley and Kal.

“ I don’t know if that would be a good idea.” Riley said with a shrug as Kal had no choice but to agree.

For better or for worse, I feel right and high even if it’s just tonight or the rest of my life. So come on do your worst. I’ll stay here all night. Cash out, cards down, I’ll roll the dice.

The night went on as Kal and Riley stayed attached together. Kal really tried to avoid having a blackout the way that she did the night before meanwhile Riley was only a little buzzed but chose to keep his eyes on Kal. Letting her let loose and have fun. Fortunately for him her fun included just about throwing herself at him.

As they all headed back to the hotel , Kal was talking amongst the group as she continued on,” Will told Bea to handle his light work meaning you. But Jay and Kasey both said you’d drop him.” Kenta said. “

“ I agreed too.” Taiji said as Kal looked at him with a smile.

“ Yeah you’re definitely becoming my favorite.”

“ Ask Riley here what he said.” Taiji said as she looked at him waiting for a response.

As Kasey and Jay bid their goodbyes and headed into their room, as well as Juice and Toni. Bea and Will stood by their doors waiting for the response as well as Kenta.

“ I said that Will can take you.”

“ Oh you did now?” Kal said.

“I’ve never seen you in the ring before so that’s why I said it.”

“ I feel so betrayed.” Kal said as she laughed while shaking her head before her drunk mind gave her the idea to show him what she can do but he was quick and before she even had the chance to think of a plan she was thrown over his shoulder.

“ Nice try, maybe do it again when you’re less intoxicated. Goodnight guys.” Riley said as he opened the door to Kal’s room.

“ Why did I agree to wear heels all day?” Kal asked as he gently sat her down on the bed.

“ That I can’t answer.” Riley said as he helped her take them off.

Kal looked at him as he tossed them to the side before he stood up and looked at her,” Okay get dressed for bed. While I go get you some water.”

“ I’m okay.” Kal said,” Why are you being so nice to me?”

Riley shrugged,” Listen I know things haven’t been ideal but you haven’t been that bad.”

“ I basically told you that I wouldn’t marry you if I was sober.”

“ You did, guess lucky me we were plastered right?” Riley said as she tried to avoid the inevitable conversation as she wasn’t completely sober right now,” We’ll talk tomorrow okay? Don’t worry about it tonight.”

“ But I told you at the bar we’d talk tonight.”

“ You didn’t promise so I think I’ll survive one more night. This stuff happens all the time here.”

Kal nodded her head and was ready to say something else as Riley left the room. She sighed as she slipped out of her dress not really wanting to put much effort in anything as she spotted his hoodie in the corner and slipped it on.

She quickly slipped under the covers as Riley walked back through the door and into the room as he put the water on her table.

“I’ll see you in the morning alright? We’ll do what we have to do so that way we can go home the way we came.” Riley said as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

“ You’re not staying?” Kal said as she didn’t even bother to hide the hurt tone in her voice this time around.

“ You and I both know that would make things only get more complicated.” Riley said.

“ But what if -“ Kal said as Riley stopped her.

“ We’ll talk tomorrow. Okay?” As Kal nodded her head , “ Get some actual rest if you need anything I’ll leave that door unlocked.” Riley said as he pointed to the door that led to his and Taiji’s.

As she could only nod her head afraid her voice would betray if she did anything more than nod her head. As he left the room and Kal wrapped herself up in his hoodie before she grabbed her phone as she felt it vibrate.

It was a message from Riley as she looked at it. it was a few pictures she definitely didn’t have saved or on her phone at all. As she looked at it the chapel in picture slowly turned to the inside of it before it ended with what she guesses was when they kissed for the first time as husband and wife. You can see how out of it they were but there was something else there too.

As Kal looked down at the message attached,”

Saw you looking through your phone earlier, figured you were missing some picture memories. Hope this helps you when you wake up. Just know that I’m definitely saving these for when we decide to tell everyone what we did. Or maybe just keep them to myself for when I need a laugh. Maybe a good story to tell whoever we marry, and if they don’t find it funny than maybe we married the wrong people. Come tomorrow all I want you to know is I hope whoever you actually decide to marry keeps the smile on your face like you had in these pictures. Just something to remember this weekend by. “

As Kal looked through all pictures again and again. Saved, deleted, only to save again. As she re read his text over and over again. She opened the final picture once again and almost didn’t recognize the person looking back at her.

Yes this person was clearly intoxicated but she was happy, and she highly doubted if had anything to do with the alcohols

“ You really did a number this time Kal.” She said to herself as she put her phone on the end table and curled up. Sleep the last thing on her mind as everything she did now reminded her in some way of Riley.

“ All these things that I’ve done. Sin city under the sun. I came to win and I won. I’ll leave with you sittin’ shotgun. All these things that I’ve done. Sin city under the sun. I came to win and I won. Feels like a TKO, feels like the lowest boat. Yeah, yeah,yeah under the neon lights. It feels like we might get married in Vegas.”

[sweetestlamb]

Still, I Rise

Summary: Damn teenagers and their angst. 

Author's Note: Back with another chapter, if you didn’t already know it I will be revealing our mystery character from the last chapter LOL please put down the bats and weapons (jk take them out it’s hilarious!) With this chapter we are getting closer to the “climax” and I am so excited to write the fun chapters I have planned ahead, one scene that I am really looking forward to writing is the camping trip, I had so much plans and events that I wanted to see that didn’t because TVN woke up and chose basic, we hate to see it. I can’t wait to rewrite history honestly also can’t wait to just move to onto regular schmegular teen problems, I swearrrrrrr. 

"Don't you dare embarrass me this time. You aren't ugly why can't you get these damn little rich brats to like you? Are you truly this useless? Don't come home if you can't make this one fall for you!"

Those had been his father's final words right before his hand split his lower lip open with a razor sharp blow that made his head whip in recoil. His father's footsteps faded as he walked away leaving him crumpled on the ground, anger and embarrassment raging in his blood. He hadn't chosen this life at all, never wanted to be a bargaining chip for that despicable man. First with Eun Dan Oh and now this new girl, Kang Sujin.

She'd initially stood him up and he had felt foolish sitting in the lavish restaurant by himself, checking his phone but no calls or messages arrived.

His father had been livid that night, more vicious than usual his stepmother's weak screams served as the soundtrack for his brutal beating. Why couldn’t she just be quiet? Did it make her feel better when she acted as if she actually gave a shit about him? His brother coming into his room after with those pathetic weeping eyes and a bandage had only made him angrier, he shoved him away slamming the door in his face, refusing his help. He didn't need anyone, nobody could save him from his horrible fate. 

It hadn't taken much research to find out her school and on impulse he'd gone there without her knowledge, watching from afar at first. A tiny girl with short hair framing her face had ran giggling into a taller girl with long dark hair and a classically beautiful face, they walked side by side smiling and laughing and that's when he'd heard her call out , "Sujin we should get something to eat!"

It wasn't love at first sight or anything ridiculous and disgustingly romantic like that, but he felt a connection to the girl for some inconceivable reason as if they were kindred spirits or something, maybe it was the remnant of a bruise he saw on her wrist hidden beneath her sweater. 

It seemed they had more in common then he had initially believed, it was a grim similarity. 

He'd gone home feeling less burdened than before, and his father's smile had been terrifying when he'd told him that he would work hard to win the girl over, only because he knew how quickly that smile could evaporate and his father could become the monster he was accustomed to. He tried not to flinch as the older man clapped him on the shoulder, his body already in fight or flight mode.

His father had merely smirked at his apparent fear.

Bastard.

So he'd taken to following the other girl around, she was going to be his fiancé anyway so he saw nothing wrong with it. And that was how he learned about the other boy, a tall slender boy who looked like someone that would grace an idol magazine cover. They were together more often than he liked, and it seemed more than platonic if the glances and subtle touches were a sign.

He wasn't jealous per se, but this would be a roadblock in his plan that he couldn't afford. He was getting used to not being beaten. 

The day he'd followed them to the hospital presented another challenge for him, he hated hospitals and what they represented with every fiber of his being. He'd spent too much time in them growing up and then again for a girl who couldn't care less about him, she was another reminder that he wasn't worthy of love. He had thought he loved her but still hurt her whenever she disobeyed him, he knew he was no better than his father.

Unexpectedly Sujin had burst through the hospital doors, surprising him and forcing him to hide lest she spot him, peeking out from his hiding place behind a tree he saw her distraught and near tears running the opposite direction. He stood in shock merely watching and waiting to see if the unknown boy would follow her, but thankfully he never came.

Pushing down his own wariness and discomfort he walked into the hospital immediately feeling a cold chill on his skin, he refused to call it trauma that made it sound like something was wrong with him. He was fine and he could do this.

Thankfully the nurses were too busy and nobody noticed him walking by and he froze when he spotted another man who was capable of making him flinch. Doctor Kang, he looked anything but approachable in his gleaming white lab coat and he remembered watching the man laugh with his father as they both sold their children without remorse. Instinctively he hid watching the man glare into a hospital room, he almost feared for whomever was the recipient of the ice cold gaze.

Minutes melted by before the doctor finally walked away, his steps clipped and echoing on the linoleum floors and he finally let out a sigh of relief when the other man disappeared around the corner.

Stealthily he rounded the corner and took the doctor's abandoned spot, peeking into the room through the small window in the door. It was that boy again, the idol wannabe but this time he wasn't alone there was a young girl with a bouquet in her arms and a older woman lovingly patting him on his cheeks.

His mother.

A loving one, at that. 

His blood seared watching the domestic scene, jealousy ripping through him like a tornado. There was no way he was letting this asshole have Sujin too, he already had too much. More than he, Baekyung would ever have.

                                                                The motorcycle roars under her thighs as they whip down the road. It only serves to remind her of the first time she was on a bike with another boy, his cologne and the scent of leather infiltrating her senses and making her heart jump through hoops. This time she feels nothing but annoyance and extreme frustration, barely holding onto the stranger in front of her as she leans forward to yell above the engine, "Pullover!"

She knows he heard her based on the immediate tension in his body but he continues to ride ignoring her request demand. With a grunt she grabs onto his waist only to bodily drag them to the side not caring if they both crash at this point she cannot stand another second on this bike with him, instantly he straightens them before skidding to the side and finally pulling the brakes bringing the motorcycle to a halt, the moment the bike stops she hops off in a frenzy.

Thrusting the bottom piece of his helmet up he screams at her, "Are you insane? You could have hurt us!"

She bares her teeth at him, ready to unleash her full anger on him now without an audience. 

"Who the fuck are you? And why did you come to my school?" She bellows glaring poisonously at the strange idiot who had single handedly upended her day.

Moving calmer than she's feeling, he dismounts finally pulling his helmet off and then squeezing it under his arm looking down at her. 

With a condescending look he stares at her, "You know exactly who I am, don't play dumb it's beneath you."

He's right. She does know who he is although she had never seen him or known his name, she had truly thought she could ignore him and he would disappear. Just like with her father that was proving to be an erroneous dream that would never come true. 

"But I'll formally introduce myself since we are going to be engaged soon after all, Baekyung. You can call me oppa though."

Engaged soon.

Her head spins from his words, she feels terror shift over her like a thick suffocating blanket.

"You don't even know me. Why would you even agree to this?" She stares at him in disbelief, at a loss to his acquiesce to their tragic fate.

The look in his eyes haunt her, it's like staring in a mirror and gazing back at the person she was months ago. Somehow without her knowledge or consent she'd changed, grown even and therefore started believing that her life was just that, hers.

"You act like we have a choice. Don't be stupid, we have to just do as we're told. It's easier this way for everyone." He repeats those words that she herself had uttered to Seojun not so long ago, a sense of deja vu washes over her. 

"How is letting ourselves be used easier? Don't you have your own dreams or aspirations? Isn't there someone you actually like?" She knows the error of her argument immediately as she says it, his eyes narrow into thin enraged slits and she can practically feel the anger vibrating off him.

"Don't pretend to care about me. This is about you and your little boyfriend," he spits the word like acid and immediately she remembers those chilling words he had whispered in her eyes earlier, "Do you think he'll be safe?" That was all it had taken for her to go with him, he couldn't get hurt she wouldn't allow that to happen ever. She had no idea what those ominous words meant and how this boy could pose a threat to Seojun but she knew she had to hear him out and protect Seojun anyway she possibly could. 

"He's not the only one you should be worried about." The smug bastard continues with a humorless grin on his face and suddenly the dots connect, her father outside of Ms. Han's hospital room and that calculating look on his face. Her stomach drops.

"Leave them out of it!" She screams embarrassed at the urgent plea in her voice but she can't help it, she's so scared more than she's ever been for herself.

"Well that all depends on you doesn't it? Your dear father will have no reason to do anything to them if you listen like a good daughter and date me as expected."

She stands frozen once again feeling helpless, it kills her inside all her growth slipping down the drain in a matter of seconds.

"Why are you doing this?"

He stills at her question, his cold mask dropping and leaving something numb and unreadable in its place. It feels familiar to her, she awaits his answer with bated breath.

"I want to live, even if I have no control over it. I'd rather be alive."

Thunder clashes above them, the previously sunny day shifting into a gray dark distortion, heavy storm clouds ominously loom above them and the first raindrops land perfectly on her cheeks, crying the tears that she refuses to let fall. She has no more left to cry.

Confusion is an understatement to express Su-ah's true feelings following the mysterious boy on the motorcycle, when she finally gets Sujin on the phone the other girl is quiet and mumbling, evading all her questions and as soon as she mentions Seojun, Sujin shuts down hastily ending their conversation with some nonsensical excuse. 

That was not going to be the end, Sujin might want to play dumb about the true nature of their relationship but she wasn't part of the circus. She was no clown, she had eyes and it was clear that they liked each other and it was only growing the more time they spent together. She wouldn't let her best friend sabotage something that could be great for her, she deserved happiness and Seojun made her happy. So it was truly that simple. 

Stomping up the slight incline to school, she huffs and puffs determined. She was going to talk some sense into the other girl.

Those thoughts come crashing all around her when she sees Sujin coming out of a car, a car that she has never seen before and her questions are answered when the boy from yesterday steps out after her. Every eye in a ten mile radius is watching them, captivated by this new school scandal. Girls already squealing and giggling, envious of Sujin and doing very little to hide their true feelings. 

“Why is he with her? She isn’t even that pretty. He should be with me.” 

The lies people told themselves to sleep at nights, sad. 

Accidentally knocking the gossiping girl to the side with a rough shoulder check, ignoring her dramatic cry she sprints the rest of the way, once again pushing through the crowd to get to Sujin.

Immediately their eyes lock and she begs Sujin for a answers, What happened? Why are you doing this? What’s going?,  she flinches at the cold emotionless stare she gets in response. She watches in dismay as the tall boy bends down as if to hug Sujin and that's when a loud grumble fills the air, she turns around to the all too familiar sight of Seojun on his motorcycle. He revs the handle bar causing the crowd to part like the Red Sea, then he rides slowly until he's right next to Sujin bike inches away from touching her.

With a practiced motion he tugs off his helmet, those sloping feline eyes already on Sujin in a hard stare.

The tension is insurmountable and cloying and Su-ah watches transfixed before Sujin breaks the impasse, tugging her bookbag over her shoulder she stomps into the school without a word to either boys. But then the interloping boy calls out, “Have a good day. Princess,” and Sujin stops immediately at the word, turning around with a ferocious look in her eyes, “Don’t call me that. My name is Kang Sujin to you. That’s all.” Su-ah sees the way that Sujin’s eyes almost subconsciously seek out a certain cat eyed boy and feels like she misses an entire conversation between the two before Sujin finally walks away. 

The mysterious boy glares at her retreating back before shooting a cold glare at Seojun and then promptly hopping back into his car, the backseat as he's chauffeured away.

"Oh my god! That was so hot! Princess?” 

"Who is that? Does Kang Sujin have a boyfriend? Wow, she’s mean to her boyfriend too. What a bitch.�� 

Why do you think Seojun looked so angry?"

"Maybe he's worried about losing his bad boy title!"

The crowd erupts around them in loud voices, all curious about what they've witnessed and already creating rumors to appease their curiosity. Suddenly a loud motorcycle screech causes them all to jump silence falling over the crowd before Seojun rides away, the tight clench in his jaw visible even from her distance.

Lunch is a step above awkward, bordering into painful. The easy conversation that used to be a staple of the table is all but decimated, instead everyone eats quietly chilled by the cold air permeating from both Seojun and Sujin. They only speak when spoken to and avoid all eye contact, especially each others. It's painful to be a witness to and she notes regretfully that neither are eating home made lunch today, opting for the school lunch instead.

Sujin had never officially told her but she knew that they were making food for each other, their smiles watching the other eat made it too obvious.

This was serious. Looking at them now they looked like complete strangers, everyone was too nervous to question the elephant in the room. Everyone except poor Chorong.

"Why is everyone was so awkward today? What did you two fight or something? Why do we all have to suffer because of your lover's quarrel? Just kiss and make up already."

The table all looked on with opened mouths except Suho and herself who both looked worried instead.

And people thought she was slow, how had they all not realized what was happening? It was clear as day.

She flinches at his well-meaning words that are evidently not well received by either teen, watching them both glare at the table unmoving and the silence drags out painfully before Seojun breaks the stalemate. Standing without preamble he glares at Chorong before placing the stare on Sujin, it does nothing to change her unaffected stare. With a loud sigh he stomps away, despite his friends dismayed shouts of his name.

She continues to eat her lunch, watching Sujin in her peripheral.

She looks like she has the weight of the world on her shoulder and Su-ah for the first time in their friendship has no idea what to do.

But when they all start to funnel out of the cafeteria she follows the other girl anyway, tugging her into an enclave where they are hidden from the rest of their classmates Sujin cries out at the sudden jerk but loses her defensive stance when she realizes it’s just her. 

“What?”

“What’s going on? Why are you letting that punk bring you to school and why are you and Han Seojun acting like you broke up before you even started officially dating? Sujin-ah, please tell me what’s going on.” She pleads latching onto the other girl’s arm peering up at her with puppy dog eyes, they have never failed her before. 

“I can’t tell you yet, I’m sorry.”

There’s a first time for everything and she frowns at Sujin feeling like there is a mountain between them. She can’t help the hurt that she feels knowing the other girl doesn’t trust her enough to tell her what’s going on. She thought they had moved past all the secrets and hiding but obviously she was wrong. 

“I really am sorry. But I will tell you everything soon enough.”

She releases Sujin’s arm, ready to walk away. She hates being in the dark. But before she can walk away, she feels Sujin hand on the bottom of her sweater tugging her backwards, she looks back with a perplexed glare. 

“Do you trust me?” 

She stares at Sujin and the soft tilt of her head as she asks the question, and her answer is easy, although she has no idea what’s going on and none of this makes any sense to her she doesn’t have to think about that answer. 

"You shouldn't do this to him. It's too cruel." Suho expects a biting retort or even a call for him to mind this damn business, so he's shocked breathless when instead the other girl smiles at him, a tiny almost indecipherable thing that makes her lips thinner. 

"You two have come a long way." Sujin responds unexpectedly shaking her head and walking over to the couch, before beckoning him over too.

He stares feeling suspicious but ultimately he follows, curiosity winning.

"I think I'm ready." Sujin expels a deep breath, twisting her hands nervously in her lap. Before he can ask her what exactly she's ready for she continues, "I want to tell your father what happened if you really think he'll help me."

He's too late to swallow the strangled gasp that escapes from his lungs and he leans back in surprise. He wants to continue his conversation about Seojun but he’s scared to do anything to make the other girl retreat or change her mind now. That conversation will have to wait for another day.  

Sorry Seojun. 

"Are you sure? You're really ready to do this?"

There's a long pause and he watches a myriad of emotions run across Sujin's usually expressionless face until something that looks suspiciously like hope blossoms making her glow brighter than the sun.

"Yes. I want to try living just for me."

Blinking away the moisture in his eyes, he pulls out his cellphone sending his father a message.

Please come over.

It only takes seconds but it feels like an eternity before his father replies, he smiles at the message.

On my way.

He stands up to put the kettle on the fire, he knows that tonight will be a long night and he needs something to keep his hands occupied.

When his doorbell rings he's shocked when Sujin stands up looking at him with a serene gaze, "I'll get it." He only nods at her in reply, watching as she greets his father and man recovers quickly at the unexpected visitor, smiling warmly at Sujin before pulling her into a warm embrace.

Even more surprisingly Sujin doesn't flinch, allowing herself to be wrapped up.

His father embraces him as well, patting him on the back and again on the head when they break apart. He can feel Sujin's eyes on them and he moves away guiltily. Now isn’t the time to rub his burgeoning relationship with his father in her face. 

"Have a seat Dad, thank you for coming so quickly."

His father lifts an eyebrow at the sudden serious tone of his voice but he follows his directions nonetheless folding his hands on his lap and looking inquisitively between the two teenagers.

"Is there something you both want to tell me? Perhaps you two are....." His father motions vaguely between them and he stares back not comprehending until his father smiles slyly and Sujin beats him to it, protesting ardently.

"No! No, it's nothing like that. There's someone else...I mean no. That's what what we wanted to talk about."

He raises an eyebrow at Sujin's slip and his father chuckles at her stuttering and the red blaze across her cheeks.

His father waves his arms in appeal, apologetic grin on his face. "Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you both. I just always hoped you two might one day. A father can dream."

He scoffs at his father, "Give up on that dream she's like family to me. We would never see each other that day."

Sujin nods passionately in agreement and his father shrugs easily, now looking even more curious than before.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Sujin stills on her spot on the couch, the determination in her bones seeming to melt away with every passing minute. He fears this won't go as planned and he has no idea how to motivate her.

Then a loud vibration rumbles from the couch and it takes Sujin a moment to realize it's her phone, he watches curiously as she looks at the message and then a single tear runs down her round cheek. The determination curls back around her like armor, he watches in amazement as she sits taller turning to look at his father with newfound courage or maybe it wasn’t newfound but suddenly uncovered by whatever she had seen on her phone. 

“Suho asked you for help for me. I’m really the one who needs your help.” He can hear the slight quiver and hitches in her words but she gets them all out and instantly she has his father’s undivided attention, he even turns his body to fully face the girl. Pride swells in his chest at the sight, he was worried his father would only be adamant about helping him directly as a way to get closer to him but now he can see that he was wrong about the other man. Genuine concern fills every line and wrinkle of time on his face. 

“What is wrong? What do you need help with and why can’t you tell your parents?” It’s a innocent question, and logical too but he fears Sujin’s reaction, when she feels like she is backed into a corner in the past that has led to her lashing out with dagger sharp remarks, he watches with his heart lodged in his throat.

“Because they are the ones hurting me.” 

His lungs deflate releasing all the air that was trapped in the sacs, she said the truth without hesitation and he turns to glance at his father watching him process the bomb that she has just dropped on him. His father opens and closes his mouth several times, before finding his voice it is but a whisper when he responds to Sujin. 

“That time you needed a doctor.” The statement is directed to Suho and with a sober nod he confirms what his father already knows, with a loud sigh his father sinks into the couch quiet rage on his face. “I should have known, you always seemed so scared of him but I thought it was just his parenting style I never thought...never expected that he would....I should have done something!” 

Sujin laughs, it is pained and small but he hears it and immediately turns to look at her, “He sounds just like you like father like son I guess,” Sujin directs that at him and he blushes in memory, he can’t deny the claims. Then she turns back to his father with surprisingly soft eyes, “Don’t blame yourself, just help me now if you can.” 

“I will use all of my resources to make sure he spends his life in jail.” 

Suho jumps in his seat looking over at Sujin, that is way more than they had ever discussed that was what he truly wanted for the monstrous man but it always seemed like too much to ask for but here was his father saying it as if it was completely plausible. 

“Jail? Do you really think he can go to jail? It would be his word against mine, I never took any pictures. I was stupid.” Sujin berates herself, and before he can dismiss the self inflicted insult his father is already moving closer and putting a large hand on her trembling shoulder, only then does he realize how the girl is shaking like a new leaf. 

“No, it will be my word against his. I will also get that report from Doctor Kim, that could be used as evidence. You’re just a kid and a victim, I’ll handle this you don’t need to do anything else. You’ve handled enough on your own, we got you now.” His father looks over at him as if waiting for his approval and he moves onto the couch with them both, after a moment’s pause putting his hand on Sujin’s other shoulder. 

“We got you.” 

Jukyeong glances over nervously at Seojun the aroma of coffee thick in the air as she sweeps up the beans she had clumsily spilled on the ground, she waited for Seojun to playfully scold her as he often did when she messed up at work but the reprimand never came and when she glanced over at him he had been staring longing at his cellphone. 

Su-ah had been the first to notice how weird him and Sujin acted around each other and despite not having a lot of experience with relationships, especially those of the romantic kind she could see that they didn’t hate each other as much as Sujin tried to drive the deceptive point home. They were always teasing each other and Seojun found any excuse to be near Sujin and soon he wasn’t the only one, they just seemed to naturally gravitate to each other at times bickering so much it was like they were the only two people in the room. 

But all that had come to an abrupt end with the sudden appearance of the boy on the motorcycle, the entire school was in a uproar over him, Baek Kyung, she had heard the other girls whispering his name. On paper he seemed very similar to Han Seojun, same bad boy persona and affinity for motorcycles and glares. But the biggest difference she noticed was Sujin's reaction to them both, she had heard from some gossiping girls how vehemently Sujin had declared that Baek Kyung not call her “princess”, a moniker she had commonly heard Seojun use to refer to the girl.  Sujin never stopped him these days, instead rolling her eyes and speeding up to escape from him, he would chase after all calling her the sweet nickname all the way. 

When Seojun would use it to refer to her in passing such as, “Are you gonna eat that princess?” Those were times that Sujin didn’t react at all, simply handing him whatever food in her container had caught his eye that she had ignored. 

They were casually domestic in a way that they never seemed to realize and she couldn’t help but categorize. Seojun liked Sujin that was becoming clearer and it seemed like the feeling was mutual, even if the girl wasn’t yet ready to admit it. 

Which was why this new development came as a complete shock to her, why was Sujin suddenly giving her attention to someone else? 

“Did you guys have a fight? Just tell her you’re sorry.” She offers out of the blue, and Seojun turns to her with a puzzled look drying a mug with a cloth, “What are you talking about now clumsy?” 

Thankfully the shop is empty, she quirks at eyebrow at him folding her arm when he continues to play dumb. 

“Sujin. You guys clearly had a fight, you’re both so hot tempered. Her temper is probably worst than yours though so just apologize okay? It’s better than fighting.” 

He stares at her with a blank face before turning away, rubbing firmer at the mug in his hands and she worries for its safety. 

“Why should I apologize when she’s the one who’s with another guy? Don’t worry about me, I will be fine. Clearly this was one-sided. She doesn’t like me.” 

She openly laughs at him now, looking at him like he has two heads. “What are you talking about? If she didn’t like you then why did she follow you to your mom’s hospital? She tried to be all sneaky but Chorong told us everything. Plus she always gets jealous when other girls give you food at school and don’t think we don’t all know that you guys make food for each other!” 

He whips around looking at her with huge eyes, “Wait you all knew? So when I said that someone special made it for me? You knew?” 

She smiles brightly, “Yep. It wasn’t subtle at all.” 

He sighs in annoyance, turning away to hide the pink on his face. 

“I’m not apologizing. I didn’t do anything wrong.” 

She sighs at the boy’s words, knowing that this fight might go on longer than it needs to and she wishes she could just shake some sense into both of them, why were they choosing to suffer like this? 

Damn teenagers and their angst. 

Grumbling she goes to take a customer’s order, glancing over at Seojun with a final sad smile. 

Hopefully they can figure this out without falling apart. 

Time seems to move slower than usual today and he almost pumps a fist in  triumph when he sees that it’s finally eight and they are free to leave. 

“Do you want to me to walk you to the bus stop?” He offers Jukyeong out of politeness but she shakes her head no, telling him that she is going to meet with her older sister for dinner running out before him and hailing a cab, he smiles at the sight that’s one girl who loves to eat. 

Turning off the lights in the shop, he turns over the “open” sign and locks the door behind him. The cool spring night air brushes against his cheeks and he makes his way to his motorcycle, mounting in one motion and sighing as it purrs to life before he speeds off his destination already in mind. He bobs and weaves through traffic, smirking at idiot drivers who blare their horns at him when he inches too close to their precious car but even they are not enough to rain on his parade. 

When he finally arrives, he bounces off the bike throwing the helmet onto the handlebar carelessly before bounding over to the figure he sees waiting. 

He can’t help the smile that tugs against his lips, ultimately setting it free as the figure turns around at the sound of his boot stomping on the ground. 

“Did you wait long?” He asks moving closer until he can feel the heat wafting off the body in front of him. 

“No, I only just got here too. Why are you smiling like that? You look deranged.” 

He smiles wider, feeling mischievous after what a certain klutz had revealed to him with a smirk he leans closer to her, grinning harder when she leans back looking at him with a confused glare. 

“I heard from a certain birdie that you followed me to the hospital and that you get jealous when other girls give me food. Is that true princess?” 

Sujin growls at him, shoving his shoulder hard before stomping away to the park bench. He eagerly follows after her, throwing his arm over her shoulder smiling at her wearing yet another one of his sweaters, this time a black one that reaches the bottom of her knees and completely hides whatever she is wearing underneath. She looks equally sexy as adorable and it makes his blood boil in a way he has been trying harder and harder to suppress around her. 

“I knew you would try to milk the situation. This isn’t why I told you everything.” 

He smiles recalling what Sujin is referring to. 

Just a day go.....

He stares angrily at his phone in utter disbelief that she would have the gall to call him after what had just happened. She had left on another boy’s motorcycle even though he had asked her not to, he didn’t know what was going on but seeing her leave like that, he wished he knew how to turn off all his feelings for her. No other human should have this kind of power or control over him but here he was ready to burst because she had picked someone else over him. 

“What do you want?” He barks out answering the call with a hard press of his finger and immediately he starts to lose some of his fire when he hears her soft staggered breaths on the other line. 

“Seojun, can you meet me somewhere?” 

He wants to say no, to bitterly hang up on her and tell her that he has someone new too but that would be a lie and he desperately wants to see her and hold her and find out why she decided to rip his heart out and stomp on it.  

Feeling pathethic he answers her with a sigh, “Where are you?”  

Songnisan park. It’s not too far from their school and he hangs up without answering hopping on his bike and riding to her. Maybe it’s stupid but he can’t turn his back on her just yet, he still wants to hear her out even if she’s going to break his heart. 

By the time he reaches the park it’s raining, pouring down in sheets despite the warm weather and he immediately sees Sujin sitting under the downpour while other park goers are running and using picnic blankets as makeshift umbrellas. 

The scenes feels all too familiar and he wonders if this will be their end? Would life be that poetic to have them end the same way they became? 

Sighing he tugs his sweater off, walking quickly to close the gap between them before sitting beside her and thrusting his sweater above both their heads, protecting them from the rain. 

She turns to him with a gasp and he realizes how closely they are sitting beside each other, he can feel her breath when she exhales and it washes over in an intoxicating breeze. He has to forcibly put some distance between them before he does something that he knows he shouldn’t, especially not now. 

“My father knows about us. He saw me at the hospital and I’m scared he saw your mother and sister too. I don’t think I should visit anymore.” 

He pauses to process her words and he feels his chest tighten with anger at the mention of that sub-human, if he ever tried to harm a hair on his family’s head that would be the last thing he ever did. But once the rage passes by he thinks of the rest of Sujin’s sentence, my father knows about us. 

They were an us. 

There was an us for people to know about? 

“Us?” He replies stupidly, unable to stop his heart from fluttering. 

With a sound of exasperation she looks over at him, “How is that the most important thing that I said?” The pretty blush on her face does not go unnoticed but he responds to her statement staying focused, “My mom was discharged today. They said it was just a scare and nothing serious. He can’t do anything to us, if he tries I’ll kill him.” 

He means it, every single word falling from his lips. 

He’s not prepared for Sujin to sob and drop her head onto his shoulder, he drops their sweater umbrella at the sudden pleasant weight feeling the rain drench his hair and shirt instantly. 

“I’m so happy to hear that. I was so worried about all of you.” 

A bubble of happiness explodes in his chest and he’s so close to just letting go of all his anger and holding her, seeing her so worried about his family is almost enough to undo him. 

But, he can’t forget the image of her riding off with someone else. His heart will never forget that ache, that indescribable pain.

“So you care about me now? Is that why you left me like that today? Because you care so much?”

He is being petty, he knows that but he can’t stop the jealousy that is fueling him right now. His green eyed monster is raring its ugly head. 

“That’s the guy you told me to stand up, remember? That’s the guy my father is trying to sell me to. He’s been following us and he knew about you, he threatened you. I did what I had to, I have to do this until I speak to Suho’s father. I think.....No. I’m ready now. I’m going to tell him everything and ask for his help.” 

His heart is pounding erratically in his chest, he can barely hear the rain over the loud thumping of the organ and he can’t believe he ever doubted her, feels guilt twist around him but he pushes that aside to take in everything she has confessed to him, without saying the words she has all but confirmed everything Jukyeong carelessly exposed to him in the coffee shop, she cares about him too enough to want to protect him at any cost. But most importantly she was starting to care about herself, she no longer saw her life as expendable and was willing to ask for help even at the expense of revealing her darkest secret and getting her hopes up. 

Fuck she was the bravest person he knew. 

Without thinking he tugs her into his arms, wrapping her in a tight hug before he realizes what he’s doing but by the time he starts to move back she’s already hugging him back, her arms tight around his shoulder and her head in the dip of his neck and it’s too perfect to stop now. Absently he strokes her wet silky smooth hair and when they finally draw apart, the barest amount of space between them he takes another risk, glancing at her eyes pleading and then smiling when she nods, giving him permission even without knowing what he plans to do, simply trusting him, he leans forward and plants a soft butterfly kiss on her forehead, she hisses in response but instead of moving away she latches on to him tighter. 

“I’m so proud of you baby.” He kisses her again, firmer this time putting all the love and pride he feels for her in that gentle kiss to her brow. 

He expects a lot of things in response to his bold move and the new nickname, a punch, a kick, her loud denial and rejection, he is emotionally prepared for any and all of those reactions, but instead she steals his breath away when she smiles up at him, looking into his eyes and he realizes that she’s looking for permission too and he nods, nervous and anxious to see what she will do. 

With a moment’s hesitation she tugs him down and he goes easily, his heart in his chest and he closes his eyes as her face draws closer to him, his heart is pattering now a crazy thundering mess filled to the brim with anticipation. 

He feels her plush lips against his cheek, the rain making the skin slick and he hums in encouragement as the kiss lingers before he opens his eyes and immediately they are lost in each other’s eyes and he can feel their faces moving closer as if opposite ends of a magnet and he waits for her to stop them, to push him away and run off but she is just as lost as him, moving closer too and when only centimeters separate their lips, a loud crash of thunder booms high above their heads making them jump apart, both flying to opposite ends of the bench. 

“We should...um get out of this rain before we catch a cold.” 

The ride home is awkward and he can barely breathe with how tightly she’s holding his waist but he smiles through the rain, taking care to move carefully on the wet streets not wanting to hurt Sujin and then they are in front of Suho’s apartment, much too fast to his disappointment. 

They both sit unmoving for a few seconds before Sujin releases his waist from her death grip and gets off the bike. 

“Let’s talk over there for a minute.” He states dismounting too and walking over to the scaffold so they can escape the torrential rain for a moment at least. 

They stand awkwardly shivering from the cold in their wet clothes, it’s obvious that Sujin is embarrassed about what happened- their kisses-but he can barely contain his joy, if he were alone right now he would be doing backflips. 

This day as made a complete 180 turn for the better. 

“I have to pretend to date him. We already agreed to come to school tomorrow. He agreed to stop following me if I let him take me to school and go on dates. He has to put on a show for his father too.” She says talking so fast that the words slur together and he wonders absently if she’s nervous? And if so, why? Was she nervous about his reaction? 

He nods in understanding, “Okay. I forgot to say it earlier, but thank you for telling me and not leaving me in the dark. I appreciate it.” 

That’s the logical part of his response, he knows what it took for Sujin to involve him in her plan and how huge it is that she hadn’t wanted him to misunderstand her feelings and motives. But she’s still the girl that he likes and he can’t help the illogical things that flood his mind too. 

“Not on his motorcycle though.”

She looks at him with a deep searching stare and he simply stares back, nonplussed. He knows what he sounds like, a bargaining jealous boyfriend. That’s exactly what he wants to be so he sees no reason to attempt to explain himself, whatever she’s thinking is true and he isn’t the least bit ashamed to admit it. At his unabashed stare she crumples looking away with a barely hidden smile, “Okay. Not on his bike. Even though I never told you that you were allowed to have conditions, this isn’t a negotiation.” She complains but the sting is gone because she has already agreed to his request, he flashes a smile at her. 

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow. I will have to act jealous, that shouldn’t be too hard.” He winks at her and this time she does try to punch him, he barely dodges her fist. 

Such a violent little thing. 

“I never said you had to do anything.”

He shrugs, “It makes sense. I like you so it would only make sense that I would be jealous if I thought you were dating someone else, plus he will probably want to see that too.” 

She’s as red as a strawberry as she sprints away from him without another word, waving at him over her shoulder. 

He smiles all the way home, before falling into bed after a much needed warm shower, his toes and fingers were like ice chips when he finally got home. 

Remembering one more thing, he grabs his phone shooting a quick text message. 

Don’t let him call you nicknames. Only Sujin. 

Reading it back he determines that the message is a bit too...commanding and if he wants to keep a certain boot out of his ass he better fix it so he swiftly adds:

Please. 

Present time....

“I didn't do anything. She just suddenly started telling me how much you adore me and how you can’t live without me and that I should just forgive you and take you back.” He sniffles dramatically watching amused as Sujin rolls her eyes, before angrily pulling out her phone, he laughs suddenly worried for Jukyeong so he snatches the object from her hands, much to her chagrin. 

“I might have exaggerated about what she said, a teeny tiny bit.” He demonstrates the small amount with his fingers and she glares at him biting out, “Liar,” before snatching back her phone and stuffing it in her pockets with a grumble. 

Getting serious he turns to look at her with anticipation, “How did it go? Were you able to tell him everything?” She is staring out at the horizon, despite him boring a hole in the side of her head begging for eye contact. 

“I hesitated. I lost my confidence.”

He can hear the defeat in her voice and without a pause he opens his mouth to comfort her and tell her how strong she is and explain why this is just a minor setback but next time they can go together and if she needs him to he will hold her hand the entire time and give her every last drop of his support and--

“But then I got a message and it gave me courage. So I told him everything and he agreed to help me. He wants to send my dad to jail, not just emancipate me.” 

She did it. 

She really did it. 

He smiles at her wider than the ocean. 

“You did it, Sujin.”

She stares at him in palpable shock, he immediately knows why it’s not often he uses her name and he expects her to be happy that he isn’t calling her the nickname she is always dismissing, she’s always so adamant that she is not a princess much less his princess.  

“Don’t call me that.” She says finally turning to meet his eyes and he stares back confused because he had only said her name, why was that a problem? Wasn’t that what she had been trying to get him to call her since the first time he dubbed her princess? 

“What do you want me to call you then?” 

He is truly asking but the look she gives him makes him feel like the dunce in the corner of the room and realization unfurls in his body like a slow moving tsunami and he smiles unbridled at the epiphany. 

He hasn’t wanted to get his hopes up by making assumptions about what this is but maybe it’s time that he have some confidence now, he was someone important to her. She had already proved that in so many ways these past days. 

Taking her hand in his, he smiles brightly at her. 

It’s the first time that he has held her hand, and he can feel the damaged skin in his own smoother hand. His heart aches for only a moment, her hands are just like her they might look bruised and pitiful at first glance but beneath the broken surface lurked unimaginable strength and power and just like the rest of her, they were imperfectly perfect. He never wanted to hold another hand, this was the only one he needed. 

“Good job, you did it Princess.” 

She smiles up at him, looking gorgeous-heart stoppingly so-and he can’t help the way his chest constricts as if he didn’t know it already he knows it now unequivocally . 

He, Han Seojun belongs to Kang Sujin. 

[thebounty]

Incompatible (Mandalorian x Hunter!Jedi!F Reader)

Chapter Two: This isn’t too bad, right?

Word Count: 6.4k

Warnings: tension, angst, nightmares, violence, soft Mando for a bit, soft reader for a bit, grammar mistakes most likely. I think that’s it!

A/N: I hope you all enjoy chapter two! I’m still on the fence about if I like it or not, but that could just be me. Feedback is always welcomed! Enjoy :)

Hyperspace was something else. No matter how many times you’ve gazed upon the fast-moving stars, it never bored you. It was calming even though you were literally traveling past thousands of planets at once. You could get so lost in thought while watching them go by, it was a type of Zen you’ve never experienced anywhere else. Not even with your family.

Glancing down at the tracking pad on the counsel, you read that you still had at least seven hours until you reached Voss. You ran a hand over your face and rubbed your eyes. You were exhausted, but you did not want to fall asleep. Partly because you didn’t know if Mando was going to use the com to call you while you slept for something, or just to annoy you. The latter seemed more likely. However, the overall factor of not wanting to sleep with the nightmares that sure to come.

Great. Always something to worry about, huh?

Groaning you slumped even further into your chair with your legs sprawled out in front of you, your wool socks grazed the hard paneling of the floor sending goosebumps up your legs. With a few pops and cracks on your back, you knew your body needed some rest. Your eyelids surely felt like steel as they began to flutter closed. You couldn’t help yourself as you drifted off to sleep a few minutes later.

The Mandalorian was in a similar state as you. Not wanting to sleep for various reasons as well. He did not have nightmares to worry about, but he was always on high alert. Plus, hyperspace was a huge escape for him, to just be and think. He knew that Voss was still extremely far away, so he busied himself. Stepping out of the pilots chair he made is way down the short hallway to the ladder and descended down to the hull of the Razor Crest.

It was a relatively big space, holding everything he needed. Small sleeping quarters, a small fresher, some cargo boxes, an armory, and his carbonite chamber. There wasn’t anything down here he would call a kitchen per say, but he had a few travels sized machinery he used as a makeshift kitchen set, like a portable microwave and a small stove top…thing. He wasn’t particular when it came to a home-made meal or rations. He wasn’t a cook at all, so he normally opted for the rations.

He turned towards his armory and pressed a few buttons before it sprung open, revealing many guns, knives, and various other kinds of weaponry. He had to admit, it was quite extensive. The number of weapons he had would be scary to anyone who weren’t Mandalorian. He took out the most recent ones he used and sat down on the nearest cargo box and began cleaning the blasters and knives. Using a worn-out rag, he cleaned every surface he could find that was dull or needed a polish. It was, soothing for him, almost as soothing as hyperspace. Most of the time his thoughts were flooded with a specific bounty hunter, so he used cleaning as his escape when hyperspace got boring. Now, he didn’t know what to do, since he is being forced to work with her now. Cleaning his weapons now, he didn’t feel his thoughts retreating from you.

“Kriff.” Mando muttered under his breath, taking out some of his frustrations on a hard blemish upon his blaster.

He was still coming to terms with how he felt about the matter. There was an emotion he couldn’t quite place, and it bothered him. His chest tightened whenever he looked into your eyes, those fierce and determined eyes. He hasn’t seen you smile often, or laugh around him, considering he was a pain in the ass towards you. He didn’t know what else to be. Mando wasn’t the best at expressing his emotions, and whatever this emotion was exactly, it didn’t feel like the one to verbally show.

You are, entrancing to him. You are insanely skilled with a dagger, blaster, and fighting in general. Your style of fighting was interesting as well, you move so quick and sly, like a loth cat he supposed. Mando recalls a time when you two pared once, he lost of course, that’s why he’s only pared with you once before. However, he loved to watch you when you fought other people, he could never take his eyes off of you when you did. He was thankful in those situations for his helmet, blocking his gaze upon you at all times. He wondered if you ever thought what he looked like under the helmet.

Of course you don’t.

He shook his head out of his thoughts when his hands stopped momentarily after homing in on a low beeping noise coming from the cockpit, instantly he knew it was the com link.

You were calling him?

Instinctively, he shot up and climbed up the latter in only a few seconds. A few hours must have passed because his back ached once he stood up from his hunched position. The door of the cockpit flew open to reveal the sound of the com link beeping at a low tone very rapidly. This only happened when the line on the other end was picking up some distress signal, or any sound of distress.

He frowned and tilted his head, not understanding what sounds of distress it could be picking up since the both of you were in hyperspace. He sat down and twirled around in his chair, hesitating before clicking the button of the com link. His blood went cold hearing a scream on the other end, knowing for certain it was you. He didn’t understand where this sudden act of care came in, he could easily press a button on the com and ignore it. However, the seemingly dense Mandalorian always let his guard down around you, but because of that, he feared it.

Mando said your name quickly but there was no answer just a few labored breaths on your end, causing him to jump into fight or flight mode instantly, gripping the com in his hand.

“Hey, is everything okay? Are you alright? What’s going on?” Mando spoke rather urgently into the communication line, hoping that you could hear him too. Thankfully, there was an emergency button to turn off your mute to him since you did press it before takeoff. You were mumbling something, but it was hardly loud enough to be coherent. His heart was hammering in his chest, he didn’t understand what was going on with you. He feared something happened to your ship, he hoped that whatever it was he could help fix over the communicator.

“Please, d-don’t kill them…my moon.” You sobbed clutching onto your tunic in your sleep. Mando knew then that you were having a nightmare, maybe even a night terror. It seemed terrible regardless. The sounds of your screams were vibrating his helmet. He had no clue what to do, especially being so far away from you, quite literally.

“Hey, listen to me, I hope you can hear me. You have to wake up.” Mando spoke loudly into the com. In all honesty, he had no idea if this was going to work. This was all new territory for him. He has never had to think about someone else’s needs before his own, let alone try to get them to wake up from a nightmare through a kriffing com link.

“Can you hear me? You’re having a nightmare. You need to wake up!” Mando yelled into the com line, uttering your name a few times before he heard a large gasp and some labored breaths after. You woke up with a start, your chest feeling as though Jabba the Hutt himself was sitting on it and feeling the nail marks in the leather that wrapped around your seat at your fingertips. You scrambled to your feet, feeling more discomfort than the last few times you’ve experienced nightmares. They have always been the same, but this time there was a different voice present. Something familiar-

“Hey, can you hear me? Are you awake? Are you okay?” You heard it again, but this time you knew who it was based on the blinking red light of the com link. You groaned running a hand through your semi-damp hair, probably from sweating. Guilt and dread made their way through your chest. You thanked the maker that he couldn’t see your face, it was probably red and soaked with tears. Your hair was a mess also, which added to the mentally ill look.

Great, he heard you panic. That’s- that’s, annoying.

“Yes. I’m fine.” You hissed before shutting off the com link entirely. You sat back down in your chair, finally coming down from the adrenaline rush you had minutes before. You were so embarrassed. He had to wake you up because of a nightmare, you never felt so childish in your whole life. On the one hand, there was no way you were going to shake this ‘good deed’ off of him for the entire duration of this job you two were quested to do. The Mandalorian on the other hand was speechless. He clutched the com in his hand before tossing it across the cockpit with a large grunt. He was fuming. How could he let his guard down so quickly? He needed to wake up before he made a fool of himself.

“Dang farrick! You di’kutla (you idiot)! How heartless could she possibly be? I just woke her up from a nightmare!? How ungrateful-” He rambled while pacing the cockpit floor. With a shake of his head, he all but jumped down the ladder to the hull to continue what he was doing before he puts a blaster hole in the nearest wall.

You didn’t need the force to tell you that the Mandalorian was fuming. You didn’t know what else to tell him.

“Oh yeah, thanks for invading my privacy of sleeping. Hey, yeah, let’s be friends now that you know nightmares haunt my dreams.”

You screamed of frustration before kicking your chair. Immediately regretting it when pain shot up your shin almost forcing you to sit back down again. To be completely honest, you didn’t know of any alternative scenario for the tin can after all, because you most likely would have done the same thing. However, you were in no hurry to apologize to him now after causing a scene.

These next few hours were going to be a pain.

  Coming up on Voss you were greeted with the familiar yellowish atmosphere as you approached. The sky wasn’t necessarily foggy, but it was dense, and the color didn’t add to the fact that it was hard to distinguish where there was a break in the forest to park not only your ship but Mando’s as well. You haven’t heard a peep form him since you cut him off on the com link earlier, but you didn’t mind. It allowed you enough time to figure out what you were going to even talk about when you landed, or what an initial game plan would be for you two.

After what felt like ages, you both landed in a decently open area. You scanned the area upon landing and after reading the map you were about a day walk to the city and maybe a few miles from The Nightmare Lands, so that was great.

Mando parked and shut down his ship before advancing into his cot to gather anything he needed from there. It wasn’t much since he didn’t change clothes often, especially in front of others, so he was glad that he was wearing a new pair of fresh clothes. Descending into the hull, he slung his rifle over his shoulders, holstered his blaster, and made sure his vibroblade was in his boot. After stuffing his relatively small pack with the fracking fob and some rations, he pressed the button to open the ramp of his ship.

A gust of wind made its way through the hull causing him to stumble back a few steps. After gaining his bearings, he made his way onto the planet floor. It was relatively warm, pretty foggy, and just dense. He’s seen worse for sure, however being here with another person, just made it a tad more unlikeable. He scanned the area with his helmet before taking a few steps and sitting on a nearby log. Signing as he slumped down, he grumbled under his breath.

“Enteyor iviin’yc dala. (be fast woman).”

He was definitely wrong.

You put your ship on ground defense mode first thing before climbing down to the small hull of your ship to gather anything you needed. Landing on the floor you grabbed your backpack before folding in some extra clothes and a few rations to last you at least three days. Hopefully, this didn’t take that long. You were…hopeful about this bounty. You’ve never taken down a gang before though, that’s why you were strictly remaining just that, hopeful.

You were dragging your ‘getting ready’ for as long as you could, just to tease the Mandalorian a bit, but also for the fact that you did not want to confront him about your nightmare just yet. You strapped your lightsaber to your back after taking it out of its hiding place, which was a small sliver of metal that wasn’t attached to the hull of your ship. You pulled your cloak over your shoulders and tied it in the front of your neck and slipped your black gloves on before bracing yourself as you pressed the button to lower the ramp with a loud screech. Once the ramp was fully on the ground, it revealed a remarkably interesting image. The Mandalorian perched on a log that was definitely too small for him. You chuckled lowly before making your way down the ramp.

Mando visibly sighed before putting his hands on his thighs to hoist himself up. You were dreading any form of interaction with him to be honest, and so was he. You both didn’t have a single clue as to where to start with each other, or what lines that were never to be crossed. The basics for sure.

Where did you grow up? How is your family? Do you have a family? What dark secret’s can you unfold?

Those were a no go, even though you were both curious to know.

“Took you long enough. I feel like I’ve been sitting out here for hours.” Mando huffed stretching his back rather exaggerated. You laughed.

“Key phrase, I feel like. You didn’t actually sit here for hours, if you did, I bet you would’ve left by now. Try saying what is true and not try to be smart with me.” You smirked seeing his visor tear through your eyes. He knew you were right; he would have totally left you by now if it was just one bounty not a kriffing mob. The dense air didn’t add to the already blooming argument. You shook your head and sighed, bracing yourself or what you were about to say, and about to do.

Let your guard down.

“Look, I’m going to cut right to it. I know we both don’t want to be here. However, I know that we are more than capable of getting this done as long as we work together. I know it might sound impossible, but we need to not be at each other’s throats. I’ll watch your back and you will watch mine. I have no doubt that we can both do that, but I would much rather not argue in between. Especially since they have the advantage of knowing this planet better than we both do.” You said as calmy as you possibly could, trying to speak your phrase into existence, and have hope to any maker out there, that the Mandalorian would comply.

On the contrary, Mando was fuming under his helmet as he stepped forward towards you, pointing an orange leathered finger at you.

“Weren’t you the one earlier that shut off your com after I helped you? How am I supposed to help you if you won’t let me?” He seethed, not wasting time to go against your wishes. You would have groaned out of annoyance but Mando was awfully close to you, almost too close. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. Instead, you decided to sigh and look down at his boots, biting the inside of your cheek to try and regain some composure, before looking up at his visor, not even a foot from your face. You wanted to argue, but if you went against your own suggestion, there was no way he would comply then.

“Look, I am sorry about earlier. Truly. No one has ever seen me like that, so I shut down. We need to trust each other if we are to get this done. That is all am saying, and I am ready to do that. Are you?” You questioned, speaking slowly and quietly. Mando was still close to you, he could see your chest rising and falling with your steady breathing. His now returned to normal.

Mando nodded slightly. If you weren’t this close to him, you for sure would have missed it.

“I- “Mando started but you quickly cut him off. Not wanting to drag this on further than needed.

“Can we please just get on with this?” You quickly said, shocking yourself when you didn’t argue further, or want to. You usually never gave into an argument that easily, but you just wanted to forget about your nightmares for now and think about the task at hand. Mando was surprised too, his helmet tilting slightly looking down at you.

“Ni ceta” (I’m sorry).

Your heartrate picked up after hearing his thoughts as clear as day through your head. You didn’t mean to read his mind.

How did you do that accidently?

You looked away suddenly, not being able to meet his dark gaze for another second. He felt your discomfort and took a step back clearing his throat. All he could fathom to do was nod his head again, clearing his thoughts as he reached into his pack for the fob.

“Well, we should start walking near the last known location, Voss-Ka. It’s a long walk. But no longer than a day I’m guessing.” Mando spoke slowly while looking at the fob then back up at you. You were leaning on one leg, arms crossed, and brows knitted together listening to him. You nodded and secured your bag on your back.

“Well, lets get started then. I have no clue how the cycles work on this planet, so lets make do with the light we have right now.” You offered while Mando nodded quickly, starting in the direction you two needed to go. Taking a deep breath, you fell into step with him quickly before descending into the dense forest in front of you.

The trees were mostly only two colors, red and a dull yellow. The planet floor was also yellow, blurring everything together and making you slightly dizzy as you walked. The crunch of the ground was also annoying, well you certainly could not farm on this dry planet that’s for sure. Large rocks were present as you walked through the forest, and huge tree stumps in peripheral view, it looked menacing. However, those things are easily avoidable, but the smell of this planet was not. An interesting combination of sulfur and campfire smoke danced around your nostrils making you want to wrap your cloak higher on your face. This was the safest option for you two though to not draw any unwanted attention on yourselves. Hopefully, the forest would not have any unexpected visitors.

Mando was not fond of having to walk through a forest to get to this city, he would have much rather parked right outside of the city walls, but you insisted on coming in quiet as to not draw attention on a planet that held rather gruesome citizens. He agreed because unlike him, you’ve been here before, so he took your word for it.

“You said you’ve been here before, right?” Mando spoke, breaking the silence you two were previously walking in. Stepping over a fallen tree you nodded.

“Yes. Only twice though, and they were both relatively short trips. The bounties I’ve collected here were easy to find. Almost too easy.” You chuckled thinking back on the memories. They were both stupid bounties, hiding out in the villages scattered throughout the planet. If they were smart, they would’ve hidden in the city. It was harder to find bounties in the city.

“Hmm. Guess they hid in the villages then?” Mando questioned, understanding what an easy bounty meant. You nodded.

“Yeah. Stupid halfwit.” You shook your head with a small smile as you recalled the look on your bounties faces. Mando was happy you two were getting along for once, even if it was only a few sentences, it was a start at least. But that did not change the way he thought of you.

Obviously. Mando cleared his throat.

“We should try to get more than halfway there and set up camp. So, then we will be able to get to the city in the morning and track their last whereabouts.” Mando spoke while increasing his speed slightly to stay a head of you in the woods, however it was difficult given the terrain.

“I don’t want to see what might be in these woods any longer than we have to, so that sounds like a plan.” You added, moving a branch away from your face before it smacked you. Mando only hummed in response as he leaped down from a rather large fallen tree. He turned and offered his hand to you to help you down. Mando knew this was out of his nature, but like you said earlier, try to be nice to each other. You scoffed and jumped down next to him obviously not wanting or needed his help as you carried on. Mando sighed.

That’s more normal at least.

A few hours of silence flew by and a dozen fallen trees later, you both stumbled upon what seemed to be ruins of some kind. It was the first sign of life you both came across so far so it was somewhat comforting for a minute, before you realized you might have found something else.

You remember reading about some ancient Jedi and Sith temples that were abandoned on this planet, the thought made your throat tighten. You were not in the mood for anything else about you to be revealed to the Mandalorian. He seemed rather curious as he scanned the ruins for any life forms. Like there was any, you said in your head as you looked around as well. The setting sun created a rather jarring image in front of you. The shadows that were casted worked very well with the many oranges, yellows, and reds that the land was now covered in from the sun’s rays. Large stones were around in a circle, then some smaller ones in a semi-circle in the middle surrounding a large stone. Some stones were broken in half, and others fallen over. But the structure was nonetheless breathtaking in this lighting.

“The scan doesn’t pick up any footprints, or signs of life here.”

“Well obviously, look at this place. It’s been deserted forever.”

“Hey, I was just taking precautions- “

“Well can’t you just accept the obvious- “

“No, you listen to me I- “

A rustle.

“Wait Mando- “

“Oh, now what!? Can’t you just listen to me for once- “

“Stop! Did you hear that?” You half whispered to Mando after hearing what sounded like heavy breathing, almost panting, like you would be after running. It wasn’t Mando’s breathing. You could recognize his modulated breathing anywhere and it was certainly not you.

You frowned, how come Mando didn’t pick up on the obvious breathing from his helmet? It was a life form, right? Why did his scan not pick up the life form, or forms? Unless they managed to sneak up on you or it out of reach from Mando’s scanner.

You looked around slowly, as did he. You both turned your backs, so they were almost touching each other so you are guarding the vulnerable side to each other, as if on instinct. You gripped your blaster the same time he gripped his. If anyone was watching you both, it was like you two were mirroring each other, exactly the same movements, and even the same breath. You tried to focus on any sound that you might be able to pick up with your ears as Mando listened through his now heightened helmet. You had an uneasy feeling about this. Whatever it was.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” You whispered to the Mandalorian, now gripping your blaster harder.

“Oh- you should little girl. But it was quite entertaining to hear you two bicker.” Came a voice from the distance causing both you and Mando to point your blaster directly at them. It was a Devaronian man. He was tall, dressed in all black, with horns probably as big as your forearms. You knew they were strong creatures, but what is one of them against both of you?

“There are two of us and one of you, why should we be afraid?” Mando pipped in, as if he heard what you were just previously thinking, not faltering once with his blaster. Your chest tightened; he wasn’t the only one.

Kriff.

“Because he’s not the only one here, Mandalorian.” Chimed in another Devaronian from behind. You turned around while Mando still faced the first man, this next one had a few more friends. Well, at least five more friends.

Great, this was spectacular.

“You had to speak so soon?” You whispered over your shoulder, slightly seeing Mando tilt his visor towards you. The fob on his belt was not beeping, so this could not be the gang you were after. Your blaster was aimed high still as they surrounded you both. This was not good, not good at all. No matter how good of a fighter you and Mando were, there was no way you could escape as least three Devaronian men and four other humans. At least you guessed they were, it was hard to tell in this light.

“Ah, who is the pretty lady? This one wouldn’t happen to be yours now would it Mando? That would be a shame.” One of the men spoke. He was disgustingly pale, had long dark hair, and one tooth missing from the front as he grinned towards you. You could’ve vomited right at his feet.

“No. I am not his, and never will be. Now back up before I blast you in the chest.” You seethed, gripping your blaster even tighter. He only laughed as the other men moved closer into you both. A few more steps and they would have you pinned against Mando’s back, you could feel his cape on your ankles. You sensed that Mando was trying to think of a way out, as were you. But you could not think of a way out that did not require the use of the force. You were not doing that.

Mando was insanely tense. He didn’t like the way these men were starring at you like a piece of meat. No matter how many times you two would argue and get under each other’s skin, no one deserved that. With the thought his grip tightened even more, he knew if he didn’t have his gloves on his knuckles would be white.

“The little girl has a bark, but what about the bite? You both can’t take us.” Another man spat from behind you. Mando could see him, and he moved his blaster in their direction instead.

“Let us go, and you can all walk away with your lives. We are just passing through; we mean no harm.” Mando spoke, trying to reason with them. You knew it was a good attempt, but useless with these men. They looked to be smugglers, and they were not about to walk away empty handed. You were battling in your head. If you used the force to kill these men, then the only person you’d have to answer to was Mando, and maybe you could convince him to stay quiet about the matter.

The idea was starting to become more endearing as one of the men reached their arm towards you, cupping your face slowly. You didn’t dare move or even blast him as you lowered your arm, afraid of what his friends would do if you tried. Surly they would ambush you, and you weren’t about to let yourself and Mando die. Above all, they were not about to steal your lightsaber. Mando was all out of ideas, he was remarkably close to just surrendering and attacking when they least expected it. You felt it in his aroma. You knew you had to do something.

“I said, don’t touch me.” You muttered letting your voice quiver a bit, trying to sound as scared as you could to throw them off. You sensed Mando’s discomfort and- was that protectiveness you felt?

Nope. That couldn’t be true.

Your mind was made up. You knew what you needed to do. You reached out to Mando through the force, trying to get in his head for a moment. You felt the energy around you, having the advantage of being in an old Jedi temple, you felt strong. You heard his breath hitch slightly as you focused on what you were going to say. Mando suddenly felt as though someone was slightly squeezing his temples together, he dared not move, he didn’t understand what was going on. It felt…familiar a little bit. His blaster did not falter when the feeling of something tickling his brain increased, and then a voice.

Your voice.

“Blast the three in front of you when I say to.”

“Oh sweetheart, you can’t tell me what-” The man started but was hilariously cut off as you raised your blaster and shot him in the chest as fast as a millisecond. If someone blinked, they would have missed it.

“Now!” You shouted before you rolled on your back. Mando worked quickly shooting down the three men in front of him as you worked on the remaining men in front of you. Dagger in one hand and blaster in the other, you shot down one man and used your dagger to slice another’s leg. Mando reacted quickly and turned towards you, knowing you were outnumbered by yourself; he flung his arm out and shot his grappling line to the man you injured with your dagger. As it wrapped around him, he heard a scream from you. Turning momentarily, he saw that you were pinned to the ground by the large Devaronian. He had you in a choke hold, you gripped their arm as he slowly retracted his knife from your abdomen.

“You’ll die for killing my brothers.” He grinned at you wickedly.

Quickly, Mand retracted the line and brought out his blade and drove it into the man’s back he had trapped. Dropping the man hard on the ground, he aimed his blaster at the Devaronian on top of you before halting his movements at the scene before him. He was, floating- no levitating above you now, not moving. Not even a scream came from him.

Okay- what?

You moved your arms quickly and the man hit the tree with a loud crack! His back was definitely broken as he fell to the ground, dead. You were panting and felt a huge pain in your side. Placing your hand there, you brought it back only to find it dripping with crimson blood. You grimaced and groaned as you fell back against the ground. You felt someone above you, you hoped to the maker it wasn’t another attacker.

Mando was panting, still gripping his blaster. He was mostly confused but you felt his concern as well. You could sense easily that he had so many questions.

You don’t blame him.

“Ask me later, but please help me up.” You whispered reaching out the arm not currently clutching your side. Mando took it quickly and helped you to your feet and let his arm slide around your waist to help keep you up. If you weren’t in pain and not exhausted from using the force, you might have liked this.

No, you most certainly wouldn’t.

“Where were you hit?” Mando whispered as he walked you two away from the scene, he found a dense patch of trees, one large one was fallen over the top creating a small shelter.

Well, it checked off two boxes for you two at least. A place to help patch you up, and a place to stay for the night, that wasn’t out in the open.

He set you down gently, leaning against a tree. He kneeled in front of you, waiting for your response. Your breaths were staggered, but not shallow. That was a good sign at least, Mando thought as he checked you for any other signs of injury or discomfort. He mentally checked over himself, but he was not hit.

“His knife got me on the side. I don’t think its deep. But I could be wrong.” You stammered watching as Mando took off his pack to rummage through it, looking for a bacta patch for you, and maybe thread.

“I’ll have to look at it.” Mando said between looking through his bag and peering up at you once in a while. Your eyes felt heavier with every passing minute. He took his hand and secured it on your chin, forcing you to look at him. You stopped breathing for a second.

“Hey, I need you to stay awake, just as a patch this up. I need to lift this, is that okay?” He whispered as his fingers lingered below your long black shirt. Your cloak was already off next to you and definitely had some blood on it, leaving you feeling vulnerable. You nodded, knowing your voice would fail you if you tried to use it. Your breathing became ragged, but not because of the pain.

It- it was just the blood loss for sure.

Mando nodded quickly before taking his gloves off and lifted your shirt, setting it down on in the lower part of your chest. The cut was on the lower left side of your abdomen and traveled upwards in a slanted motion towards the center of your stomach. It was deeper than you both previously thought, causing him to sigh slightly. You for sure felt lightheaded as his fingers settled on the skin just below the cut. His skin was golden brown, and you knew it was somewhat of an honor to see a Mandalorians skin, they keep that hidden from people, it was a part of their religion. You tried not to think about it. Mando’s hands were oddly soft for how many callouses there were on them. You felt goosebumps erupt on your skin- no, stop.

It’s the blood loss, it’s the blood loss, it’s the blood loss, it’s the-

“I’ll need to stitch it. Then after I’ll secure it with a bacta patch.” He spoke lowly, glancing up at you with his visor. You were staring at your wound, saddened at the thought of a new scar. Your gaze shifted upwards to him again and nodded slowly, trying not to remember his hands on you.

“Do what you need to do.” You muttered gripping his forearm for reassurance before dropping it back to your side. You let your head hang back against the tree as you felt him get the needle and thread out of his pack.

“This might sting a little bit.” He assured as he assembled the needle and thread before getting to work. The first threading hurt the most, well, it was uncomfortable. You’ve done this countless times on yourself and for the first time ever, you were happy someone else was doing it for you.

It was relatively silent as he stitched you up, but you could feel his mind racing. Mando was confused to say the least, but he was more focused on the task at hand. He tied up the end of the thread before putting the bacta patch over it and lowered your shirt back over you.

“It should be fine, but you should change the patch in at least two days.” Mando informed you as he put everything away, slipping on his gloves again in the process. You nodded as you got comfortable against the tree behind you. Mando sat across from you.

“Thank you. I appreciate this.” You smiled softly as you brought your cloak over legs to keep yourself warm now that the sun was fully set over the terrain. The soft light of the moon reflected off of Mando’s helmet creating a wonderful glow. You had to admit, the beskar was beautiful, and if you truly didn’t despise the man in front of you; you might have enjoyed the sight.

However, you do this time. Considering he did just patch you up. He could’ve left you for dead, carried on with the bounty, and got the whole reward for himself.

Mando was silent as were you for a while, you felt his tension calm down from earlier as he sank against the tree across from you more. You could tell he was avoiding your gaze even under the dark visor. To be completely honest you couldn’t blame him. Working with someone he didn’t like and now finding out she had weird sorcerer powers? Yeah, he could not comprehend that. Mando always seemed to get into interesting situations. You didn’t even know where to start to try and answer any questions he had without giving away too much about yourself. On the contrary, you weren’t going to bring it up if he didn’t. Not until you two left this planet anyway, you could not have him spill this secret about you.

“It seems like we make a good team, huh?” You whispered, trying to lighten the mood and tread carefully.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Mando said bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest.

You heard his next statement before he could utter it.

“Tell me how you did that, that thing,”

A beat.

“Or I’ll kill you.”

Oh. Oh shit.

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[springday-aus]

Enemies to Lovers!AU with Xiaojun

—

Group: NCT [+ WayV]

Member: Xiaojun / Xiao Dejun

Genre: fluff, comedy, romance 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: approx. 2.4k

so, you’re Xiaojun’s enemy (he thinks of it more of his number one attacker tho)

it wasn’t hard considering he’s always on fight or flight mode and considering his friend group….

fight mode is always activated

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

so it started when you became friends with Ten

the guy is so sociable, so you were bound to meet him and his other friends someday

but jesus christ, there were soooo many of them

it was a party; he threw a literal party of just him and his friends

and then there were others who turned it into a rave (i.e. Hendery, Yangyang, Chenle and Donghyuk)

anyways, you got to mingle and make so many new friends

it was going really well

until Xiaojun entered the picture

things went well with him too, until you made a joke that didn’t exactly land with him

but it landed well with the others

Lucas: “who in their right mind would like mint chocolate”

Xiaojun: “but I like mint chocolate”

You: “then you’re not in your right mind lmao”

YangYang: “I mean, is Xiaojun ever in his right mind tho”

everyone laughs

except for one person

Xiaojun stood up, staring you down for a hot second, before trying to argue back

in which YangYang was the main responder

you didn’t really think much of it, laughing away with the others

but, to him, you just declared war that day

it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did

but it did

so, from then on, things just got rockier

bc he started picking fights with you over the littlest things or he would argue with your points no matter what

you didn’t really think much of it bc he was also being picked on everyone else and you were like

every man for themselves huh

it wasn’t until he personally attacked you

it happened on Halloween

and he made an underhanded comment about how he’d look better in anything compared to you

so you made a “friendly” bet

but then you lost

bc Xiaojun looked better in the Jasmine costume than you and he def knew it too

and when he smirked at you

the grudge had been built

that’s probably when the mutual enemy status circulated around your friends

although, if they’re being honest, it’s so entertaining

especially since most of them like to gang up on Xiaojun too

and because of that unity, it’s only made things worse

from what the others can tell

you two don’t hate each other, but you def don’t get along

it ranges to food (e.g. mint chocolate chip incident that NO ONE lets go)

Lucas: “mint choco ain’t shit”

You: “retweet”

Xiaojun: “the attacks”

YangYang: “we cannot trust a man who eats bread with fucking lao gan ma”

You: “you eat what with bread?”

Xiaojun: “shut up. all of you.”

to activities

cue you two fighting about what movie to watch

Xiaojun: “Titanic is a classic!!!”

You: “it’s a joke, there was rOOM ON THE FUCKING DOOR”

Xiaojun: “IT’S ROMANTIC. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO SHE CAN LIVE.”

You: “THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC. THAT’S SUICIDAL, DUMBASS.”

this feud is def bc you’re both petty as fuck

the bickering is nonstop

but, if the nct boys are being honest

they’re lowkey confused bc Xiaojun is supposed to have a really high emotional tolerance

he doesn’t even yell this much at YangYang or Ten

(excluding that one time he hit YangYang with that pillow very hard)

but he does blow off his top when it comes to you

which is sus to a lot of the boys

whenever someone does ask him tho

he just kind of……………

mumbles underneath his breath and then moves onto something else

meanwhile, Yuta: “isn’t he always like that?”

Kun: “who wants to tell him”

lmao, I’m kidding

kind of

anyways, you two are really just going at it

what changes?

you have to go to the dentist and get your molars removed

which means someone has to take you and go pick you up

obviously, Ten was going to do that, considering you two were the closest

so he dropped you off and you had your surgery

so what happened?

welp, your buddy Ten forgot he had a prior engagement and, hence, was unable to pick you up

cue him spamming the groupchat

and Lucas exposing Xiaojun

Lucas: Xiaojun isn’t doing anything Xiaojun: you don’t know that Lucas: I do tho, go pick up (Y/N) Ten: I’ll buy you anything from that green tea cafe you like for a week Xiaojun: deal.

so he came to pick you up, both willingly and unwillingly

and you……. you were more than a hot mess 

you were just a mess 

you basically were just blacked out that entire time after they gave you the laughing gas and completed the surgery

so you remembered absolutely nothing.

your roommate: “this is what you get for doing drugs”

You: “IT WAS PURELY FOR MEDICINAL USE”

You: “IT’S NOT LIKE I DID CRACK”

either way, your roommate let you know of the situation, taking note of how your enemy had to take you home

which

again

no recollection

your roommate: “he’s fucking hot tho”

You: “ugh, I know”

but that’s also when you decided

Ten is a dead man :)

Ten: “I’M SORRY”

You: “YOU BETTER FUCKING BE”

Ten: “I KNOW”

Ten: “............................................but………………………………….”

Ten: “maybeyoushouldalsothankhimfortakingcareofyou”

You: “sorry not sorry, I’m contemplating murder rn”

Hendery: “what do you call a murder against a friend?”

Kun: “don’t”

Ten:

You:

Hendery: “it’s a homie-cide”

You and Ten: “NOT NOW”

anyways

you knew he was right

so after you calmed down, you went to Xiaojun’s place (thanks to Ten), with some sweets to thank him

Lucas opened the door, let you in, and left to go to the gym with Sicheng

Xiaojun came out of his room, a couple of minutes after, disheveled from his nap

and when he saw you in his living room couch, his eyes widened, darting around to avoid looking at you

You: “hi”

Xiaojun: “hello”

You: “why do you look so scared? I’m not gonna jump you”

he stays quiet, the blush becoming more apparent on his cheeks

You: “Ten told me you took me home after my surgery, so…………………… thanks”

Xiaojun: “he bribed me with pastries”

You: yeah, sounds about right

You: “still”

You: “um, I didn’t know what you would like, so I brought some sweets you can just go through”

Xiaojun: “thanks”

it’s silent for another moment and you consider bolting out from the apartment, Wizards of Waverly Place, Harper-style: “see ya in p.e.!” kind of a thing

but he speaks up once more

Xiaojun: “are you feeling okay now?”

You: “uh, yeah, my jaw still kind of hurts”

You: “but I have meds they prescribed to me for the next month or so”

he decides to stop beating the bush: 

Xiaojun: “so do you remember what happened yesterday?”

You: “to be completely honest, no”

Xiaojun: “you… did a lot of things”

You: “what do you mean I did a lot of things”

Xiaojun: “you also said a lot of things too”

You: “..... are these things recorded?”

Xiaojun: “maybe”

Xiaojun: “some”

You: “dELETET HEM”

you actually considered tackling him, but deemed as too Yang-Yang-like

You: “what did I say”

Xiaojun: “I didn’t realize you thought I was handsome”

You: “wait what?”

Xiaojun: “you said, you had a crush on my ‘fine ass’”

You: “you know what? I think I’m gonna pull a Jack and commit suicide, goodbye”

Xiaojun: “ah, ah, ah, you said like, which is… present tense”

You: “semantics”

Xiaojun: “but did you like me at some point?”

You: “does it matter?”

Xiaojun: “yeah, it kind of does”

Xiaojun: “bc even tho we bicker, it’s, like, our thing”

Xiaojun: “plus, you’re kind of cute when you’re threatening to rip off my eyebrows”

You: “I did what?”

Xiaojun: “it’s no different from how you treat me now”

You: “I thought it’s because you don’t like me”

he just kind of shrugs, rubbing his neck rather sheepishly

Xiaojun: “you’ve seen my friends; arguing is our way of showing our affections”

You: “so, you’re saying this is your way of telling me you like me?”

Xiaojun: “I mean………“

Xiaojun: “are you saying you like me?”

You: “are you saying you like me?” 

*cue another argument about who likes who*

eventually, he found a way to shut you up

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

cut to Lucas and Sicheng coming back from the gym to you and Xiaojun making out on the couch

Lucas: “NASTY”

Sicheng: “what did we…. miss?”

Ten somewhere: I fucking called it.

anyways

you both decided to date that day

and you two still bicker an insane amount, which includes you nitpicking Xiaojun’s tastes to Xiaojun refusing to delete those videos of you under the laughing gas despite your threats

but, the only difference is, your arguments can end with a kiss

and it always freaks out the guys whenever you do

Donghyuk: “I’m too young to be seeing this monstrosity”

Mark: “ngl, this is nice for them—they’ve stopped arguing”

YangYang: “I weirdly prefer them arguing over them with those sappy eyes tho”

You: “we can hear you”

Chenle: “but when have we ever cared?”

You: “I’m gonna beat your ‘01 liner ass istg—”

Xiaojun: “calm”

oh, you know what’s fun about your relationship?

you two can’t agree on some stuff right?

so whenever you have to decide something, say a movie or dinner, you two just heads-or-tails it

(there’s also this cute app where you put your options on a wheel and let that decide—the amount of times you’ve used that on your dates…… anyways)

most of the time, on these dates, you seem more like an old married couple and it’s super cute

it’s bc you’re already used to your worse sides coming out—the really petty ones, the screaming ones, the ugly ones

ofc these aren’t from serious arguments that occur

(remember folks, it isn’t healthy for you and your partner to always be fighting)

but when serious arguments do occur, you both take time to sit down and talk face-to-face

it’s hard to get into actual arguments with him, especially since he really is understanding and tries to pay attention to the smaller details

Xiaojun: “I like learning more about you”

You: “you can’t just say that kind of shit to me”

like, yeah, he’ll debate with you all night about why he needs to read the words of his book out loud but, by the end of the day, you’ll lay your head in his lap and listen to his voice as you fall asleep

speaking of which, you love listening to him sing to you

he gets a bit embarrassed sometimes about it, but seeing you smile so brightly at him makes him forget about it

because even tho you two bicker about little things, in the end, it just makes you two laugh at one another and how ridiculous you’re being

I almost forgot, so Ten thinks of him pairing you two off right?

so, whenever he does something annoying to either of you, he’ll constantly bring it up

Ten: “I guess this is how you two treat me, your personal cupid—”

Xiaojun: “yes, yes, we are grateful for you”

You: “but it would be nice if you would stop making those annoying sounds”

Ten: “what annoying sounds?”

YangYang: “that’s just you talking”

okay, no, but yeah—the nct boys are glad this rivalry is over because it was really just…. stupid to the core

but also bc you two look super sweet together and seeing you two making each other happy rather than annoyed is adorable

but just bc you two got together doesn’t mean the pettiness isn’t still there

You: “what type of freak sleeps with their eyes opened?”

Xiaojun: “I’m sleeping next to you, of course I need to keep both eyes open”

You: “RUDE”

Xiaojun: “and yet here we are”

You: “son of a bitch”

Xiaojun: “YOUR son of a bitch”

You: “eh, I’ll take it”