#But when I a trans person does it it's suddenly “you're not actually trans!”

[mrpuppett]

.

[psychotrenny]

It's interesting how you'll see people (correctly) point out that being oppressed as a trans women doesn't prevent someone from participating in racism, only to then go on and say incredibly transmisogynstic things about "white trans women" and justify it by the racial oppression they personally face. Like on the surface it's an obviously self-defeating argument; if you've already established "suffering from one form of oppression doesn't absolve participation in another" you can't then immediately go ahead and use the bigotry you suffer to negate the bigotry you perform. But I think the key here is that a lot of people don't see "transmisogyny" as a genuine axis of oppression

Like there's a form of rhetoric that's widespread among progressives that (sometimes explicitly but more often implicitly) presents trans women not a type of woman, but in fact a type of degenerate or delusional man that "we" have a moral duty to tolerate and play along with. The second a trans woman does something sufficiently immoral, that obligation of tolerance vanishes and you're free to treat him (I mean them) as the predatory weirdo he (I mean they) is. And even "the good ones" aren't entitled to full respect and humanity; well-behaved trannies just get fewer reminders of how fake their womanhood is. Like people have trouble grasping that "transmisogyny" is a type of misogyny, a type of bigotry as serious as any other, because they don't see "trans woman" as a type of woman

And yes, all this transmisogynistic talk around "white trans women" rhetorically erases the existence of trans women of colour and in material terms does significantly more harm to them than to actual white transfems. That aspect is very important to talk about. But the primary contradiction here is around transmisogyny itself; even if trans women of colour were magically exempt or non-existent it's still a very harmful and reactionary line of thinking. It's not as though misogyny suddenly becomes good when the targets are white women; why should that change because you've pre-fixed it with a "trans"

[magnetothemagnificent]

I actually don't think that the high percentage of autistic people who are trans/nonbinary has anything to do with how autistic brains work, and I think insisting that it does is a dangerous path to go down.

Rather, I think it has a lot more to do with the fact that people who are already othered in some way are more likely to question aspects of themselves and their identities than people who aren't othered.

Autistic people, and really, all neurodivergent people, are already the Other. Whether diagnosed or not, autistic people already feel different and already wonder why they're different. You can say the same about any Othered demographic. A cishet, white, able-bodied person in the US is less likely to question deeply how they feel because being of the normative class, they just assume others feel the exact same way as them (even if it's not the case).

Think about how many seemingly cishet people say things that make us as non-cishet folks tilt our head a bit, when they say things like "everyone is a little bi, doesn't mean you're gay" or "everyone's felt like a different gender, doesn't mean you're trans", because obviously not everyone actually feels that way and maybe these people could benefit from a bit more introspection, but they never considered it because they assumed everyone felt that way because everything else about their identity- whiteness, abledness, income- is considered The Norm.

So, an autistic person who already has felt different and othered their whole life, who has already been constantly questioning themself, is more likely to also question their sexuality and/or gender identity because they don't really have anything to lose and are already questioning anyway. Meanwhile, a neurotypical person with the same unaddressed feelings about their gender and/or sexuality is more likely not to address those feelings because they either think they're unremarkable or because they fear the repercussions of suddenly Not Being The Norm.

It's not that autistic brains are more wired to not be cishet, it's that autistic people, by being the Other, are just going to be more open to questioning their identity because their identity is already in question by everyone around them.

[genderqueerdykes]

I read your responsr to an afab person identifying as transfemme, and im wondering if the concept of "othering" trans-women has occurred to you.

If youre afab, and identify as femme, thats cisgender. To identify as transfemme is saying that trans women are not women. Trans women, by definition, are amab. So i am curious how one can feel this way while thinking it does absolutely no harm to your trans sisters

hello- your definition of "othering" is completely incorrect.

you are ignoring the existence of intersex transfemmes who were assigned afab at one point

you are ignoring the existence of intersex transfemmes of any agab, including amab and none

you are ignoring the existence of transfemmes of color who are misgendered due to features due to racism. women of color are constantly misgendered by white people because our features do not match those of white women

you are ignoring the existence afab people who were forcibly raised male

you are ignoring the broader spectrum of what transfemininity can encompass, therefore, you are the one othering transfemmes. you are the one who literally does not care about your trans sisters

trans man does not mean afab. trans woman does not mean amab. where did you get that information from, because it literally completely excludes the existence of intersex people. you're not a transfeminist by aggressively ignoring intersex people when a lot of the afab transfemme people who come here to talk about their actual real world lived experiences are in fact intersex. you are aggressively ignoring the truth

you're disrespecting me as well, which you don't seem to care about. i'm an intersex transfemme person. i'm someone who was born amab, forcibly changed to afab, forced on estrogen hrt, and then needed to transition my body back to masculine because of severe dysphoria, and also health issues due to low testosterone levels. i was constantly told my entire childhood that i could not be a girl or woman because of how masculine my face and body was. i developed a beard during puberty. misgendering was rampant during this time. then i came out as genderqueer and suddenly i wasn't allowed to be a man, either.

have you talked to a wide variety of transfemmes or do you stick to a specific archetype and bubble? you value strawmen and conjecture over people who have actually lived that life. you need to leave your echo chamber (and house) and talk to more transfemme, non binary, intersex people and people of color in general. take a second to listen to people when they speak. you're not the protagonist of life. your logic is shit.

[thedandelionresistance]

I feel like a nuance that gets missed in "we should focus more on systemic than intracommunity bigotry" stuff is... yes, WE, as a COMMUNITY, should.

Individual blogs focusing on intracommunity rather than systemic bigotry? That's fine. They're not a psy-op, or a red flag, or anything other than typically some of the most vulnerable people in the community who have been hurt and excluded by the very community they turned to for support.

Like, the few blogs that focus on lateral stuff in the trans community? Predominantly intersex, nonwhite, multigender, disabled (both physically and neuropsychiatrically), gender nonconforming, nonUSian, and so on.

It's also important to remember that even the Tumblr trans community is not necessarily representative of the trans community as a whole... but even if it was, people are allowed to talk primarily about their experiences with lateral violence.

Not only that, but lateral violence is actually something that raising awareness of in trans spaces can actually change. I'm not going to make a tumblr post about being denied cancer screenings by my insurance because of my gender marker and suddenly fix that, but if someone opens a space for trans people to talk about their bad community experiences to the point it becomes very clear just how much of a problem we've let it grow into as we focused only on external stuff because "infighting bad", maybe we can actually show the majority of the community that's willing to listen that we actually do need to shut this shit down and listen to people when they're struggling because of it.

Idk. It does feel a bit like "focus on systemic stuff", while usually well meaning, can end up looping back around into "we don't need spaces to talk about how deeply dangerous and harmful lateral bigotry and exclusion are", especially when paired with accusing individuals who focus one of their multiple sideblogs on creating space for people to speak up and find sympathy and healing of being divisive or secretly working against us.

Like yes, we as a community need to focus primarily on systemic stuff. Primarily, meaning we also sometimes, as a community, need to focus on intracommunity issues. And "we as a community" meaning not every single individual person, because we in fact NEED spaces where we allow people to speak up against lateral bigotry, find compassion and healing for what they've suffered, and that "we as a community" need to listen to these conversations to shut that shit down in EVERY community space when we see it occurring.

We as a community have a responsibility, not just to not attack and drive out our own and focus on the big picture, but to not let our communities continue attacking and driving out our own while we focus on "the big picture". We can't be so afraid of being intolerant that we tolerate it, so to speak.

It's a balancing act, to be sure. But even if it feels like the community is starting to focus too heavily on one thing... well, a community is still made up of individuals, and you're one of them.

Instead of focusing on them focusing on their thing (which is still just focusing on that thing), create a space to talk about or do something about the thing you feel needs more attention. Or find and promote those spaces. Or simply consider not contributing even more visibility to the issue you think has "too much" (typically an impossibly high bar in the trans community) anyway.

Idk. That last part may apply less, people have ever right to talk about where they feel the balance should be, so maybe talking about that part is counterproductive. But it remains true that working on the project you feel needs more hands will always be more helpful than trying to take hands away from, especially a very small piecemeal project. And the best part is, at the individual level, some people can work on both. Rather than viewing people as detracting from your cause, you can simply view them as a recruitment pool who is already passionate about helping your shared community.

(Also, just because an individual is currently focusing more on one thing than another, doesn't mean they always have, doesn't mean they are focusing on it to the exclusion of everything else, and so on. I know that "this is an x space for focusing on x issues" can and has been used as a dogwhistle in various marginalized spaces - especially online ones - for "ys are not welcome and y issues should not be talked about even by people who are both x and y". However, it's okay for spaces, especially individual blogs, to actually focus on something specific, and often the ones that are truly just focusing on one issue don't do so to the exclusion of others. It's important not to misrepresent those people, even if acting in good faith.)

(Alsoalso using x and y as the most common math variables, not a gender or sex thing lol)

[storkmuffin]

One thing I've found very shocking about suddenly liking kpop 4th generation as a Korean who has never given a shit about kpop is how queer it is. Korean people know queer people exist. One gay couple even got their first step in some sort of parity recognition last year. We have out trans women who have entertainment careers. But we don't have like, a Troye Sivan or Chappell Roan, as in people are queer AND out AND successful AND discussed as part of mainstream popular culture. It gets doubly confusing because Kpop imported elements of Japanese host bar culture in order to foster parasocial obsession in the fandom for profit, so there's a lot of queer baiting going on to begin with, packaged as fanservice for straight women. And Korea is also extremely homosocial, where men and women almost never touch casually in public unless they are lovers but intra- gender physical affection is rarely sexualized, at least officially, unless you're literally making out.

As a consequence I'm surprised at how actually out Seonghwa of Ateez is about being queer and how his company lets him.

-He picked Troye Sivan's song Angel Baby to sing as a cover. Ateez don't release music videos for every song but they did make a video for this solo cover. The first line is "I need a lover to keep me sane," and the 5th lyric of this song is "Give him my all when I don't even have it." He chose this song. He enunciated the pronoun very clearly. Troye Sivan is also who he is and we all know in Korea who he is and what he stands for in terms of sexuality. That kind of out pop star in our pop culture has not happened yet in Korea. But maybe someday?!?

- In an English language fan chat he told a story about how as a small boy he would go shopping with his mother, and wanted to try on the pretty girl clothes but was told he couldn't. This is an astonishing thing for a Korean boy to admit, if the story is not about how this is how he realized he's a trans woman.

- When he was invited to the Isabel Marant fashion show and invited to pick an outfit he specifically said he wanted to wear women's clothing. He picked a dress to wear over pants.

For context: He's not just a Korean boy. He's from 경상도, like full on. My whole family is from 경상도. It's a very macho, very chauvinist region, even for S. Korea.

- The way he enacts rough macho 경상도 masculinity has the patina of a drag parody in a way that San's using his native dialect doesn't.

- In a tarot reading and then a Korean birth chart reading they left in when the reader specifically said that Seonghwa is "the wife" vis a vis Hong Joong, the group leader. The members may or may not know what will be said ahead of time but the production definitely does, and they're the ones to edit this so they can take out anything the band or the company finds objectionable. It's the choice of the terms for WIFE that is meaningful because the birth chart reader also said Seonghwa had the character of a 참모 which can be translated variously as advisor, right hand man, essential staff, loyal supporter. So he has that personality but his role in the match up with Hong Joong they keep saying WIFE. And he doesn't seem to mind or be upset by this when 99 percent of the straight Korean men I know would freak the fuck out at being called his business partner's WIFE.

- This is all in contrast to Jong Ho, the main vocalist, who is clearly straight. The way Jong Ho reacts to the set ups they have in the reality and variety show programming they make is mainstream heterosexuality, Korean style behavior. His not doing a unit song with the other members and instead singing a conventional love song, then casting an actress to be the addressee of that song in the music video was a statement he was making about himself but also about at least one other member.

I'm very interested in how this is going to play out, because Seonghwa has also said he LOVES his idol career, so much so that he wants to do it forever, but at the same time he's wearing Isabel Marant dresses and singing Troye Sivan covers about wanting a male lover, and we're just not there yet.

[nothorses]

An actual conversation I had at my local lgbt center

Me: no one uses the correct pronouns for me anyway so just take your pick and I'll live with it

Staff: its really important to us that we use the correct pronouns for everyone

Me: I've been coming here for years, I know that the right pronouns will not be used and by not saying what pronouns I use incan at least pretend that I'm being misgendered because no one knows what pronouns to use rather than because no one sees me as my actual gender. Please just let me have that.

Staff: I know in the past it's been that way in the past, but I can assure you that we're improving, and everyone here will do the best we can to ensure we use the correct pronouns

Me: fine, I use he/him pronouns

Staff: thank you *proceeds to use they/them for me all day, not once was I actually gendered correctly*

It's like that everywhere. I went to pride with 4 separate pronoun pins on my chest and was she/her or they/them all day. Not one person used the correct pronouns. Including the person I was buying the fourth pin from.

Oh yeah, it's absolutely a common experience.

What frustrates me the most, I think, is when I initially pass, get he/him'd effortlessly and always, and later come out on my own- meaning they literally wouldn't have known if I hadn't told them- and suddenly I never hear he/him again.

And not just from conservatives; from people who actively and frequently talk about trans allyship of their own accord.

I got she/her'd all the time back when I was trying to get they/them'd; I could pass that off as like, "forgetting" and defaulting to appearance-based assumptions. Still shitty, probably more of a choice than I was assuming (for my own sake), but also like, it felt much more passive to me. I could kinda handwave it and go, "as long as you're trying, it's fine!"

This feels almost malicious. And I know it isn't, but I also know it's not just forgetting- in that moment that they think about what pronouns to use for me, there is hesitation. They ask themselves questions that they never asked when they thought I was cis. Ultimately, they decide they just can't bring themselves to use pronouns for me that they found effortless before they knew.

Because I'm trans, and that has fundamentally changed the way they see me, and these are people who will never even acknowledge that. They'll just go on thinking they're doing a great job as trans allies, likely even if I have the presence of mind to catch and correct it when it does happen around me.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Yo you know what

Miguel O'hara would be the BIGGEST trans ally on campus.

He hates transphobia. He hates anyone who entertains the idea or logic of it. He hates people who talk down about or scrutinize HRT.

And he really can't stand people who call trans people's genders and identity into question.

SO WHAT if someone feels the need to take an injection or pill to be at peace?

Miguel can't MAKE webs - not like a lot of Spider-people can. Okay. He's still Spider-man.

So what the hells the problem?

I said this in another post but like - he would NOT let that shit fly by him.

I am a strong believer in Mild Miguel who is literally just some dude -

But this is one thing he'll pop off for.

He hears a new recruit spewing transphobic bullshit on campus. Suddenly Miguel is fucking fuming, calls them into his office and is like

'Oh you think what people inject into their body to go about their lives in peace is your business? Is that right? You think someone's titles are up to you? Isn't that cute :)'

*starts throwing shit at them*

Like you would never question Miguels place as Spider-man to his face. The same way Miguel would NEVER let you doubt his identity as Spider-man, he'd never let anyone else doubt the identity of a trans person.

So you WILL gender Gwen right and you WILL say she/her.

He just finds it unacceptable. Miguel sees himself like - the manager of a company.

He thinks he SHOULD NOT have to be teaching people basic fucking respect. That's something you get at home and bring with you.

They're Spider-people. HEROS. If he has to explain such a simple concept to you- NOT being transphobic - he's already doubting your entire competency as both a Spider-person and like...an actual person lol

This is not a debatable thing. This is a two strike system with him. One warning with an apology, Second time - either punishment or he's just gonna fucking dismiss you.

He'd look at a transphobe and be like 'Go home. This Spider-man thing is very obviously not for you. You aren't welcome here.'

He will cancel meetings and call a member to his office immediately if a discrimination report comes in - YES HE DOES CHECK FOR THOSE REPORTS. He reads them personally.

If you're unknowledgeable, there's resources on campus and a Sensitivity Training Course.

He knows some universes just aren't up to speed with LGBT rights. Understandable - all there's resources there to help those adjust, integrate, and celebrate queer people.

The Society even has an LGBT center.

The Society has a robust and safe HRT care program that utilizes 2099 technology. There's trans educated therapists on campus and support groups. If you're stealth you can also get private services.

He'll PERSONALLY reassure any trans Spider-person that they are who they are supposed to be. And that their place in the universe isn't ruined by the fact they're trans.

He'd absolutely tell a trans Peter Parker that taking T doesn't make him less of a Spider-man by ANY capacity.

And that on campus they will be seen for the real person they are - not whatever transphobic labels their universe gives them.

The same way he compliments Lego-Spiderman, he'll try to uplift trans members and look out for them.

Like imagine walking into Miguel's office excited to tell him you started HRT at the center.

And he stops his filing and stops his conversation with Lyla to congratulate you, and tell you he's excited for you and your progress.

After a mission, when you come to report it to him he listens. And he waits until ur teammates are filing out to come over and ask how HRTs going, if you're feeling good, if you need any resource he can talk to Lyla about.

He always remembers anniversaries, walking by to drop a casual 'Three months.' and a thumbs up.

It's only a short little interaction, but it's still appreciated. He still cares.

Miguel would absolutely believe that no matter how you got to who you are - you are who you say you are. And no matter what other people say about you - you are who you say you are.

He's Spider-man and you're you.

And if anybody got anything to say about it he's going Miguel Mode

I love Mild Miguel. Mild Mentor Trans Ally Miguel

[femdemon]

While I'm posting about my experiences with transandrophobia, I feel like people are weird about headcanoning characters as transmasc specifically. Like, obviously, there's your regular old gender and sex based bigotry a lot of the time about headcanoning any character as being anything other than strictly cis, perisex, and gender conforming, but people who allege to be progressive and open-minded get really weird and hostile about transmasc folks specifically seeing ourselves in fictional characters.

Like, okay. I've seen people say, "If you're only headcanoning overtly feminine characters as transmasc and overtly masculine characters as transfem, and you yourself are cis or whatever, maybe you should ask yourself why and whether or not you might have some internalized binarism you need to work on." And this is true, and good to point out! But then I've seen other people take this very good and true message and do some medicalism, gender essentialist bullshit to it like, "Yeah! Stop headcanoning feminine characters as transmasc altogether! Especially if you're a gender non-conforming transmasc person who heavily relates to the character in question and see a lot of yourself in said character. Don't you wanna be taken seriously by Normal People? Don't you wanna be seen as a Real Man? You can't headcanon this character as transmasc, then. Obviously, they're a trans woman, actually, like it's practically canon. In fact, you're Committing An Erasure if you headcanon this character as any gender other than a trans woman, and this is a crime that can never be forgiven and must be punished with Shunning until you admit that you're wrong."

And, like, I'm not saying that this never happens with other headcanons, I've absolutely seen it happen with other queer identities, I just see it a lot with respect to my own gender and I feel like it's bizarrely frequent. Why exactly are people so threatened by even just the idea that a character could be interpreted as transmasc? Why do people get this heated about basically any fiction or insist that it has something to do with representation when it was never canon to begin with? Some random person online who definitely isn't the author isn't in control of the story or characters, and it does nothing to the canon for them to have an opinion or idea about it that you don't like. I know that not everybody has gotten the "fandom isn't activism" memo yet, but even still, it just strikes me as really strange to sort of gatekeep who's allowed to relate to certain characters, or even just imagine them in ways that are different from fanon.

It kind of feels a lot like that thing people do where they're like, "Oh, the aces and aros want some characters they can see themselves in, we'll just give them the aliens and robots (never humans) and such, that should be enough." And then when we're like, "Okay, yeah, I can definitely see a lot of myself in this beloved robot character," suddenly it's all, "Nooo, beloved robot character couldn't possibly be aspec! You buffoon!!! How dare you!!!" It's like, even when we do get "permission" to have headcanons and characters we see ourselves in, we still don't really have it. And then I wonder why I'm always so drawn to inconsequential background characters who contribute nothing to the plot - I've totally been conditioned into it because liking and relating to the main cast is forbidden, I guess.

I know this is a very niche, small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it bums me out. Especially since a lot of this is coming from people who consider themselves allies and stuff, and we already face so much backlash just for daring to suggest that we have unique struggles. Not even when we're having fun storytime with our fan fiction do we get a break.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

jmart dads ramble

Okay I'm doing that Thing where my brain isn't ready to resolve my hyper fixated scramble into a coherent fic yet but I'm also inherently impatient so I just spew a rough outline onto a post. Huge thanks to @minky-for-short because a lot of this is her thoughts too

Putting under a cut for length and mentions of trans male pregnancy

So first off, trans John. He transitioned while he was in university and meeting other queer people for the first time and realising why he's Like This. He is asexual but is sex positive, though he really hasn't ever been in the right head space to sort through his sexuality and gender presentation.

And even though this is a normal, safe au, both him and Martin still have a lot of Issues. John has just had a schizophrenia diagnosis following a manic episode that landed him in the hospital (a mirror to his post Unknowing coma) and Martin has been in a deep depression after his mother's death. They're both trying to cope and trying to help each other and slowly growing closer as they do.

Eventually John has to realise he's attracted to Martin and this sends him into a bit of a panic. Firstly, he's his boss but, more than that, he doesn't think he's deserving of a relationship with someone like Martin. He's so kind and honest and needs love so badly, John just doesn't think he's the person Martin needs, even if he has a sneaking suspicion he's who Martin wants. He needs a guy thats not so messed up and angry all the time and he can actually build a life with, he's taken enough from Martin already.

And it comes to a head at Tim and Sasha's wedding. John has a little too much wine and realises, right, he and Martin need to just burn through these biological needs, clear the air and then he can move on and find something real, something that isn't this hopeless crush on John. So they sneak off to his hotel room and have sex and, damn it, it's actually really good.

But when they wake up the next morning, John feels a rush of guilt and tells Martin that he can move on now, he can cut himself free of whatever attachment he had to John. Martin, of course, takes this as a rejection and is heartbroken, though he hides it. He promises John they won't ever mention it again. They keep going with their work, leaving a new, sad distance between them.

Until of course John is throwing up in the Archives bathrooms every morning.

And of course Tim walks in on him when he's starting numbly at pregnancy test he just took and it's two lines, startling him too much to hide it in time. Tim is struggling not to freak out, he knew he saw you two sneaking off at the reception! But he softens a lot when he sees John's panic and hears him groaning that he's ruined Martin's life while he was just trying to keep him safe.

He promises John that he hasn't ruined anything, that Martin's clearly in love with him and, if he chooses to keep this baby, of course he'll want to do it with you. For a clever man, it's strange how you're so freaking dense sometimes. John just grumbles that it isn't exactly his main area of study...but you're right. Whether he's going to have this baby or not, Martin needs to know, even if he's scared.

Martin is so sure he's about to be told off when he's called into John's office and told to lock the door. It's a long, long time before he can speak after John tells him he's pregnant, enough that John is a little afraid he's broken his brain? But when he can speak, all he does is ask John if he's okay. Receiving kindness, after he was so scared and everything he's been through that morning, actually has John tearing up and suddenly he's in Martin's arms and he's holding on so tight and he never wants to let go.

He tells Martin he still doesn't think he's worthy of him. But Martin just chuckles and says well, he's kind of a stubborn git, if you haven't noticed, and you're who he wants so they're just going to have to learn to live with it. He loves you and, whatever you want to do, he'll be by your side.

It takes a while for him to make a decision but ultimately, John decides he will have this baby. And Martin is such a supportive partner to him, he's so excited to be a dad, he learns to knit things for the baby, he goes with John to every appointment, he plans everything out so John's little apartment is ready for their family. Their friends are happy for them too, Tim jokes that they already got them a wedding present, they didn't need to get them a niece or nephew too? And he's so smug about knowing before everyone else.

Their baby girl is very nearly born in the Archives because of course John works right up until his waters break in the middle of a statement (and finishes the statement before calling Martin in) and is still writing down instructions for Sasha, his replacement, as Martin drags him out to go to the hospital. It takes a while, Martin sends their group chat updates and a picture of John still watching their usual Monday night quiz shows on his laptop while in labor- and still roundly beating him. But eventually little Gertrude Sims is born. The name just stuck with John ever since he took his position at the archives, he likes the sound of it.

Okay I have a lot more head canons of them actually being parents but this is getting long enough so any requests and asks welcome!

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Hello! I don't know if you make requests but I wanted to ask you for advice. You see, I'm a writer in the Twst fandom. My writing is aimed at women, but I want to expand on that topic. I recently received requests to write a male, trans Mc\reader. However, I have not been able to do it due to my lack of experience and fear of offending someone. I don't know much about those types of people and that's why I would like to hear your opinion. Do you have any advice for me?

Honestly? Just write. Really.

If you can write a character. You can write a man or a woman.

The main difference between writing men and women are pronouns and not much else.

If you don't know how to write a man just a write a person. Write a character with a personality in an environment and fulfilling a role. Do not write a male reader. Write a reader. Write a reader that happens to be male.

Think about it. What difference is there between a Fem!Chef!Yuu and a Chef!Yuu? How does being female actually effect the story/cooking. It doesn't. It's just pronouns. Them being female isn't brought up in every line.

At most it changes how she's described. Maybe shes shorter or not as strong as the boys and this can easily be remedied by simply not giving her descriptions at all.

The less descriptions you have of the reader, the more inclusive it is

Instead of "you looked up at him" it can be "you looked over at him"

"You blushed" which is typically associated with paler skin can be turned into "You feel flustered/Your face feels warm" and the readee can still be teased with the "aww are you blushing" cause they're showing they're flustered.

"You run you hands through your hair" can be "you hold your head" for those who don't have longer hair/no hair at all

"Your thin frame/your small body" can be "your body."

This isn't to say you can never write Yuu with some characteristics, its your fic after all, but if it's an x reader you should put it in the notes at the top to let others know. It can take you out of the moment when the 6ft reader in your head is suddenly straining their neck to look up at someone who's 5'7" or for your short haired reader to suddenly have enough hair to be braided.

Less is more in x readers

You should also give a heads up if a GN character may be doing/be called something that is traditionally gendered like: "GN but Yuu wears a dress in part b" or "Yuu is gn but referred to as a King" These are both completely gender neutral but it's still good to give a heads up to clear up confusion/immersion breaking.

Another thing I notice is how people unintentionally use different words to describe the same traits in men and women. Women are smaller while men are shorter. Women are petite while men are effeminate. Women are toned while men are chiseled.

Relating to above, traits or body descriptions tend to have gendered implications as well. The curves vs the dips of the hips type thing.

When writing man ask yourself "would I be using this word if the character I'm writing is a woman?" And "does it matter?" And vice versa

Most of the time it doesn't matter, it's when it starts to pile up that it does. If you struggle with this, imagine yourself describing a person you don't know the gender of.

Also remember:

AFAB≠ Female

Intersex people exist too and I've seen a lot their struggles in the x reader space along with trans people getting misgendered in supposed "GN!Readers"

It's actually better to say "reader has a vagina" "reader has a penis" "reader is traditionally feminine," ect as genitals don't mean shit

Just because your reader has a vagina doesn't mean your reader has she/her pronouns or that they are feminine at all. It just means they have a vagina. That's it. They are a person with a vagina.

It kinda sucks to see "AFAB reader/Reader has a vagina" and then get called a girl in it or "Reader has a cock" and get called a guy. At that point just say you're writing a male or female.

Really, if gender isn't the forefront/main topic of your fic, there's no need to sweat it. Write a character. Use inclusive terms. It's why so much of my fics even though this was originally a male only blog is GN.

The more I wrote I realized "what really makes Yuu in this man? Cause he's tall? If I change the pronouns will it matter? Does it even matter if he is a man in this fic they do something mundane unrelated to gender? " And it didnt! Since then Yuus have been GN but in the info sections of fics I go "Hey I made yuu talk in this one" "yuu is buff here" "yuu wears a suit here" "yuu has long hair" "I mention here that Yuu seems pale but it's a metaphor and doesn't refer to skin color" ect

A lot of people will just be happy that you tried to include them and will give you advice for the future. Reader other ppls fics too and study the..

Idk I hope this ramble helped in some way here this is just what I do gender isnt real and at the end of the day write what you want. Good luck in your fic endeavors.

[t1oui]

tedoire headcanons based on what i remember from my notes at 12 am

they're 2 years apart, teddy's in hufflepuff and victoire is in ravenclaw

they get together in victoire's seventh year, teddy comes to surprise her in hogsmeade and when she asks him why he's disturbing her weekend he kisses her (she sort of guessed he was going to)

victoire is almost always the big spoon

they share all their clothes

teddy can't sleep if victoire isn't draped over him somehow, like she has to have a leg around him at LEAST

vic knows teddy best other than andromeda and harry

he definitely has anger issues and vic is one of the people who's best at calming him down

victoire is the nail stylist of half the wotter clan and teddy is no exception

they're definitely best friends first, being a couple later, which is why so many people think they're off-and-on. they just don't really act any differently after they get together

victoire knows what she wants, and she GETS what she wants. even if she didn't start dating teddy until she was seventeen, she knew she was going to date him someday.

(vic fell first, teddy fell harder, except they're both super in love with each other)

they're the prettiest couple tbh

naps on the couch where victoire is laying there looking like sleeping beauty and teddy looks like a fucked up contortionist

vic's the scary one actually... even james, who's scared of teddy when he's mad, thinks victoire is more intimidating

if victoire clocks someone flirting with teddy she is suddenly draping herself over him and teddy's oblivious ass gets so confused... he's like ok sure but why now in front of the nice guy getting us coffee??

and vic's like dw babe there's a reason you're not in ravenclaw

teddy was head boy, vic was head girl

victoire doesn't like people being jealous of her unless they're jealous that she's dating teddy. she wants people to be jealous like that.

victoire does teddy's makeup

no way these two are a cishet couple... teddy is transmasc and pan and victoire is bi and demisexual

victoire becomes a cursebreaker like bill, teddy becomes an auror (though i think he would probably quit after a few years and find something close to where vic works)

teddy is 100% a stay at home dad when they have kids

ik a lot of people hc them as having kids young but i feel like teddy would want that and victoire would want to wait a bit longer

victoire is constantly sucking up to andromeda and andromeda knows but she doesn't care bc she loves vic

meanwhile bill is skeptical of teddy but fleur loves him

fleur is trans btw. fleur is trans and teddy becomes her #1 fan when he finds out (this is something they bond over)

skater boy x roller blade girl (teddy's terrible at rollerblading but vic is better than him at skateboarding)

teddy makes victoire teach him french when they're little and they keep practicing as they get older (merlin knows teddy needs it)

(after they start dating teddy says it'll come in handy when he meets fleur's family, he doesn't realize victoire's been thinking this since she was 9 and first started teaching him)

teddy's year is super small since he was born during the height of the war, and victoire made sure she met every single person to see if they were a threat to her future plans with teddy

gonna end this here but might do part 2 bc i love this ship sm

[nikoisme]

Okay so I rewatched Nimona again and I need to rant about a few things:

1.

This shot absolutely broke me. Imagine seeing a whole kingdom, something so grand and complex - built on the hate for you. Every single thing built on hate (watch the names of buildings, like Vanquisher Square and Slayer Aide). When Nimona (in her shadow form) is moving through the kingdom, you see her stumble on and then watch the Kwispy ad. The kids are saying "I killed a monster! I killed two!". Pair this up with Nimona's "Kids. Little kids. They grow up believing that they can be heroes if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different." Imagine hearing cheerful, happy ads with children - but they talk about how they will kill you. Little kids - the ones who are pure and innocent - are taught to hate you.

2. Gloreth. During Nimona's backstory scene, you can see that Gloreth always looks back before she makes any decision (before letting her hair down, before walking up to Nimona after seeing she's a shapeshifter). And when the village goes against Nimona, you can see that Gloreth is constantly looking at her parents, especially when they tell her that Nimona is a monster. She always glances back. Like she can't decide for herself, can't think for herself. Quite symbolic for how hate is taught (like I talked about above). (Also her name is literally Glory plus that -(e)th that was used in English in the past).

3. Ballister and Ambrosius' roles are quite symbolic. (For Nimona) Ballister represents your loved ones, family parents and their relationship with you. Ambrosius represents society, the government. That scene where Ballister presents Nimona the scroll is such an on point scene about your loved ones finding about the fact you're different (trans in this case). Just watch the dialogue closely. It was one of the last straws for Nimona - the pain of having the only person who cares about you suddenly turn on you. And then she goes into her shadow form - to end her life. And when Ballister sees Nimona he says "What have I done?". Represents the realization of parents about how much their words and actions actually mean.

Nimona tells Ambrosius "Come on, man. Do the right thing." Asking society to do the right thing by not hating and discriminating anyone who's different. Ambrosius says "What are we doing?". The realization of how damaging the hate of society is to an individual.

Ambrosius' design is light, while Ballister's is dark. Ambrosius is the pinnacle and peak of society's expectations (descendant of Gloreth). Ballister is the pure opposite, everything that breaks tradition and society's expectations.

And Ballister and Ambrosius' relationship is also interesting. You can see their motives when they act - Ballister acts out of feelings, morals and love. Ambrosius acts by law, tradition but also love. And their love might represent that society and every individual person can work and live together for the better.

4. Nimona's symbolism of shadow and light. When Nimona shifts, she does so in a form of light. She is a being of pure light. Her heart is made out of light. She often shifts to a child, someone innocent and pure. But her "monster" form is pure shadow. And she goes to pierce her heart of light through the sword. Represents that all the hate got to her - one can take so much hate before it gets to them, before it shapes them. Nimona pretty much acts cool about her shape-shifting: she spray-paints the dude who calls her a freak, unplugs the kid's toy about destroying monsters (destroying her), jokes about it etc. But it must have piled up over the course of 1000 years. And by destroying her heart, the only remaining source of light, she takes away the hope and love she had left. When she sacrifices herself, her remainings are little sparks of light. And in the end, when Ballister goes to their lair, it's a shadowy place. But he opens the windows, turns on lanterns - letting light pour in. Because Nimona was a person full of light, love and hope.

[agaricgarlic]

Trans people are not holding back the LGBT+ community

LGB or LGB ✂️ T (sometimes LG) individuals are convinced that Trans individuals are the reason cishets aren't welcoming queer people with open arms, so I'm just going to go over a few points.

1) "Trans people shouldn't even be apart of the LGB community. Its not a sexuality."

Trans people and gay people have always been grouped together because cishets have a track record of grouping non conforming people together into groups. Not to mention the rights you appreciate and are claiming Trans people are ripping away from you are LARGELY due to the role Trans and GNC played in fighting for LGBT+ rights. People use any excuse to support their hate. When gay marriage was first being legalized hets were claiming that it would lead to animal and child marriage. That's what they equated gay marriage to, something vile and abusive. Obviously it didn't but people will use the excuse of "weird trans people" as an excuse to be bigoted towards other parts of the LGBT+.

2) "Trans people are holding us back. Just be normal."

Trans people are lacking in rights because of homophobia (and literal feminine/masculine black/white thinking amongst other things ofc). A quick look into Transvestigator territory will explain what I mean. Something these people will constantly claim is that "every celebrity is trans and is thereby being used to make everyone gay." The reason why this is a problem is because being gay = bad.

For a straight man to be attracted to Megan Fox (a victim of Transvestigators) that man would suddenly be gay. When these people realize that sexuality is not just genitals (because we aren't just floating privates) they tend to get uncomfortable with the possibility of their orientation getting called into question. Cishet men that are violent towards trans women are a great example of this. Their fear? That they'd be called or would actually be considered gay for being with or attracted to a trans woman, sometimes tragically ending in violence so that this Cishet man is no longer under the "weak" and "emasculating" term 'gay.'

3) "They just don't want it pushed down their throats!"

Oh, like how having a lesbian in toy story was pushing it down their throats and indoctrinating their children to be gay? Like how having a gay couple in a commercial is pushing it down their throats? Like how PRIDE is pushing it down their throats? To these homophobes not being closeted is "pushing it down their throats."

The same arguments that these people are using have been or constantly are being used against them. The term "I don't care what you do in your bedroom" is Hets telling queer people that showing a gay couple showing affection outside of their bedroom is inappropriate and sexual, not just a form of endearment. Basically, being gay is a kink. In fact, since these people view being gay as a kink and not just a same gendered couple doing practically everything a straight couple does (spoiler alert they're almost identical) they find the term 'gay child" to be grooming and inappropriate. Same as "trans child" is grooming and inappropriate because they view being trans or talking about trans issues as a way to yap about genitals all day long.

4) "No one should be forced to be attracted to trans people!"

You're right, and no one (except a few chronically online individuals) believe that anyone should be forced to be something they're not. Whether that's forcing someone to be cis, straight, or attracted to a trans person.

Trans people are hyper aware of what they look like and a lot of trans people are uncomfortable being in binary spaces Pre-HRT or even Mid HRT/transitioning because they know they may not visually match the target demographic and may cause confusion. Trans people constantly put their own comfort aside for cis people. Not many "non passing" trans people are rushing onto gay dating apps to force gay ppl to be attracted to them. However plenty of trans people have gay partners that love and are attracted to them or interested in hooking up with them even if you aren't.

Also trans people arent unloveable and unwelcome in binary spaces. In fact it will always make more sense for a trans person to be placed in the spaces their gender aligns with to avoid confusion. A gay trans man that goes to a "straight blind dating party" and places himself in women's section would cause confusion and discomfort for his Cishet straight guy partner sitting across from him. The truth is that a person that's attracted to a man will be much more likely to be attracted to a trans man. A straight man probably won't be into someone that isn't feminine, has a bunch of secondary male characteristics, has a lot of facial hair, and reads as male regardless of what assumed genitals the trans man has(if that trans man even WANTS to use those parts sexually). And no not every trans person is a gay persons type but plenty of gay men are attracted to trans men and plenty of lesbians are attracted to women. And attraction isn't the standard to be RESPECTED.

Okay I'm all done.

I only did minimum proof reading and this is kinda a rant post so it's not perfect but I think I got my point across. Also the LGB(LG) community it a small but loud minority. You're more likely to be accepted by a gay person than a Cishet person if you're trans and vice versa. The LGBT community is the ones that will have your back in the end and fight for your rights.

[wolfertinger]

warning for mentions of rape i guess, sorry i got a bit heated here but im genuinely baffled at how people could side with these two after this.

when salem defended wis (who was quite literally berating someone for asking clarification on if she was being exclusionary of other trans peoples' experiences in favor of transfems) by saying he agrees with her as a trans man really fuckin pisses me off as a transmasc person. you dont get to speak on behalf of all trans men and transmasc people. stop fucking acting like youre our leader or something.

mind you, wis replied to this person with, quote, "yes trans people as a whole experience this problem, yes trans women have it the worst out of everyone". everyone.

trans people have it really difficult in life.

trans women have it really difficult in life.

trans men have it really difficult in life.

non-binary people have it really difficult in life.

genderqueer people have it really difficult in life.

trans people have it really difficult in life.

i dont give a fuck if you think X Y and Z suddenly makes being a trans woman much more difficult than literally every other queer identity under the sun, thats not how it fucking works man. queer experiences are not a god damn monolith, everyone goes through life differently, and yes you can argue certain identities get discriminated against in unique ways- THAT IS NOT GROUNDS TO SAY YOURE THE MOST OPPRESSED.

in this day and age you will be systematically oppressed for being trans no matter what label you use, because you're trans. nobody should give a shit about who's got it worse because WE ALL HAVE IT SHITTY. THAT SHOULD BE THE END OF IT.

salem even argues that trans men widely experiencing erasure in media is a good thing and thus is part of why trans women somehow have it harder by default. what the actual fuck????

"you never hear about transphobia in shows, news, games etc specifically targeting transmasc/afab people individually because society views us as "tricked women" no matter what so ofc they're not going to paint us as super evil and aggressive"

1: ah yes, being infantilized and completely ignored is MUCH better than being treated as violent, guys. being brushed off by your doctor/psychiatrist/parents/etc because you're just a confused little girl and should keep those disgusting thoughts to yourself is sooo much better and doesn't make you feel utterly alone and wanting to end your fucking life.

2: this also isnt fucking true anyways, i see trans men get targeted ALL THE TIME with shit like "they're ruining their natural beauty and just need a man to fix them" yknow, leading to rape, or being "violent traitors" which is especially common in TERF circles, spouting bs about how testosterone turns you violent/ugly/brutish... oh hey, doesn't that sound familiar?

and lets not forget wis, at one point, replying to that person with "type in the chat 1 if you feel unsafe around me, 2 if you feel unsafe around (person she was replying to)" essentially getting her followers to rally against someone THAT LITERALLY JUST ASKED FOR CLARIFICATION ON WHAT SHE MEANT.

and for the record, wis: 1.

i just do not understand, why terminally online queer people like wis and salem, are so intent on making a "hierarchy" of queerness. like yes. trans women, do have it bad. transmisogyny is a unique and terrible thing to experience. but, the way the both of them talk about trans men. and honestly. the way a large portion of the internet, talks about trans men/trans mascs. it gets truly bad. even, from other queer people.

in an irl, lgbt community. guess what. nobody cares, about your ASAB. no one walks up, and asks, "are you TME or TMA?!?!". no one pries into your identity. if you look 100% feminine. but ask them to refer to you as a he. they will respect this. salem of course, does not know this, as he has never attempted to seek an lgbt community. and yes. i am aware, he lives in the south, in a religious environment. so did i. in the deep south, where at times, it was dangerous.

i have been incredibly fortunate, in that i have been part of many different real life lgbt communities. some created by myself even, and thus, having experience with irl, chill queer people. they literally, are just people. and yes. some of them, DO end up being bad people, they are not immune to being shitty, simply for being lgbt. our group, rightfully kept them away, because they proved themselves to be a danger, and could not respect basic consent.

the point of a community, especially one for marginalized people. is to BE. TOGETHER. to SUPPORT, and UPLIFT one another! not to create, artificial lines, that no one cares about, irl. wis and salem so desperately, want to be the queen and king of a shitty hierarchy, they are constructing around them, where they always have the be-all-end-all, to everything, and every issue, and are never wrong. i think, as someone who is not terminally online, and has more experience with irl gays, than online gays, it is just scummy.

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Spaghetti and Specters

Spike is going to his girlfriend's house for dinner to meet her family for the first time, and Man does he regret not doing any research on them beforehand. Now he has to fight for his damn life over a plate of what is honestly kind of mediocre spaghetti.

For @darthfrodophantom's prompt: Jazz brings a date home for the first time. She didn’t exactly brief them on her family’s whole ghost thing. Antics ensue.

Read on AO3

[Warnings for anxiety and overthinking spirals, mentions of abusive parents (not the Fentons)]

"You're sure about this?" he asked. "Parents don't typically like me."

He was standing on the front porch of his girlfriend's house. The sun had just gone down, and it wasn't quite dark yet, but it was starting to get cold, and it made him wish he'd brought a jacket, aesthetic be damned.

"My parents are not your parents, Spike," Jazz insisted, straightening his leather vest and fishnet sleeves, and he relished the warmth of her hands as she did so. "My younger brother has a goth friend who comes over all the time, and they've never had a problem with her. They're not the types who judge based on appearances. They may be... apprehensive, but they'll at least give you the chance to prove whether your respectable or not before they give you the shovel talk."

"Oh, joy."

His sarcasm was something his parents had tried to shame out of him for a long time, but Jazz never did. She said that it was just a coping mechanism, and a pretty common one at that. The worst she would ever do was roll her eyes like she did now.

"Come on, Spike, they're giving you a chance," she said. "The least you can do is extend them the same courtesy."

"And what about the non-binary thing? Have you told them yet?"

"My brother's trans, too, I think I've told you that before. If they hold that against you, then there are gonna be much bigger problems at this dinner than whether they like you or not," she responded, amusement lacing her tone. "I know you're anxious, and that's understandable. If you really don't want to do this, I won't force you, but you're stronger than your fear."

"You definitely want me to meet your parents?"

She shrugged and nodded. "I won't force you to, but yes, I do."

"Then I'll do it," he said. "For you."

She smiled that pearly smile of hers, the one where you could actually see that she'd never forgotten to brush her teeth in her life, and she pushed up on tip-toe to give him a kiss on the cheek. Spike was actually shorter than her, when he took his shoes off, but his platform goth boots alleviated his dysphoria over his height, and they looked damn good doing it. He liked when she stood on tip-toe to kiss him, loved the feeling of tilting his head down and wrapping his arms around her warm body and pulling her flush against him like she belonged there.

He didn't do that now, because they were standing on her front porch, illuminated by the bright neon sign overhead, and all the neighbors could see. But a kiss on the cheek was nice too.

He took a deep breath and smiled at her. His smile was small and dull, barely a twitch of the lips, and nothing like hers, dazzling, and full-toothed. She said she liked it anyway. She said it suited him. And he always believed what Jazz told him, because she was the most brilliant person he knew, and she'd never ever wrong.

"I'm ready," he said.

Jazz pushed open the door and walked in, and he followed a few steps behind her, his steps feeling mechanical and his shoulders tensed. At first glance, the inside appeared to be a perfectly normal home. On closer inspection, however, there were a few things that didn't quite fit. The vacuum cleaner in the corner looked weirdly high tech, and there was a magazine called Ectoscience Quarterly on the coffee table. The air also smell faintly of ozone and something else Spike couldn't place, something sour. Citrus maybe? No... he didn't think that was right.

Standing there, in the living room, Spike became suddenly and acutely aware that Jazz never talked about her parents. She talked about herself, and her dreams, and stories from her past; she would bring up her brother in passing from time to time, and although Spike never learned very much about him at one time, she'd mentioned him enough now that Spike had begun to form a mental image of the freshman in his mind; but she never talked about her parents.

Spike talked about his parents all the time, since Jazz was usually willing to let him vent to her, though he always asked first, just in case. He liked having someone to talk to that he trusted, and he trusted Jazz more than anyone else. She said that his family was manipulative, controlling, and emotionally abusive, and he'd never once argued with her, because they were. Jazz was always right, after all. The second he turned eighteen, he was going to move out, one way or another, and she had an open invitation to join him, although she hadn't accepted it. At least... not yet.

The most Jazz had ever said about her parents was something along the lines of, "and my parents, ugh, they're certainly not making it any easier."

That, she said kind of a lot. He'd asked before if she wanted to vent, but she always shook her head and told him she'd rather focus on other things instead of dwelling on her frustration. Her parents, apparently, frustrated her a lot, though he knew she loved them anyway. He hoped that meant that she could love him anyway, too, even when he frustrated her.

Still, that wasn't to say he knew nothing about her parents, just... almost nothing. He'd heard the Fenton name thrown around enough, at school, and by adults around town, that he'd at least gathered they were somewhat infamous, though he didn't know why. Spike was never one for eavesdropping, or gossip, and his hearing wasn't the best anyway, so he was always out of the loop on the local hot topics—except for the stores.

The Fenton Works sign on their house seemed to indicate that they owned some kind of business, although doing what, he didn't know. Maybe some kind of technology or repair shop? Although most of the business must've been online or their ground floor would be more commercial.

Come to think of it, he had seen them once before, at the beginning of the school year—months before he and Jazz had started dating, back when he was just the classmate who helped her with her psych homework. If he recalled correctly, they'd captured Jazz in a net for some reason and carried her away. Whatever that had been about, he had not wanted to get involved, especially since he honestly barely knew her back then, so he'd just left.

Now that he was in their house, surrounded by that weird, increasingly acrid smell, he was wishing he'd done a little more research before agreeing to come over for dinner.

"They're probably in the kitchen," Jazz said.

He continued to follow her through a doorway, and into what looked, on the surface, to be an ordinary kitchen. Counters, cupboards, tile floors, all perfectly ordinary. There was a decent-sized, round table in the center of the room with five mismatched place-settings, and as many mismatched chairs. There was a homey feel to it. Though it was a little cramped, and eclectic, it still felt much more welcoming than his own dining room ever did, always with a spotless tablecloth and matched sets of dishes and silverware.

But Spike also noticed suspicious green stains on the table's surface that didn't look like they could have come from any food he knew of. Just like the vacuum cleaner, all their kitchen appliances also looked like they'd be more at home on the set of a sci-fi movie than in an urban apartment. Again, he wished he'd tried to learn more before just showing up here.

There was a red-haired woman in a teal jumpsuit standing over the stove, humming pleasantly, and Jazz groaned when she saw her.

"Mom, I thought I asked you to dress normally when Spike came over!"

"But honey, this is how I normally dress," Jazz's mom replied, turning. "And you must be Spike. My, that's a nice vest! Jazz has told us a lot of nice things about you."

"Uh, yeah, that's me, and thank you," Spike said awkwardly. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Fenton."

"Oh you can just call me Maddie," she said. "And it's wonderful to meet you too. My husband's downstairs in the lab, but he'll be up for dinner, you can count on that."

She chuckled like that was supposed to be funny and Spike let out a weak, uncertain laugh so she didn't think her joke fell flat, even though he didn't understand it.

"You can go ahead and have a seat wherever you like," she told him. "Jazz, would you mind letting Danny know that dinner's almost ready? He's up in his room."

"Sure, Mom."

Jazz left the room without a second thought, and Spike was left with the utterly horrifying decision of whether to sit down at the table, risk taking someone else's usual seat and disrupting the family's usual dinner dynamic, as well as condemning himself to spending time alone with his girlfriend's mom; or backing out to find a seat in the living room, and giving Mrs. Fenton the impression that he was the kind of rude, anti-social person who would just leave her there to cook without any company or conversation.

Oh no, he realized.

He'd been standing there too long to leave. If he'd wanted to wait in the living room, he should have left the kitchen at the same time Jazz did. There was no backing out now. Now his only option was to sit at the table before he gave her the impression that he was an indecisive wuss by standing there too long. But which seat? Should he go with the one that looked the least worn? They all looked pretty worn, but maybe that was just because the seats didn't stay in the same position.

Just sit down anywhere! urged Spike's panicked thoughts. Your mere presence at the table is going to disrupt the dinner dynamic. Sit down now before she thinks your some kind of weirdo!

He reached out mechanically to pull out the chair closest to him and take a seat. Mission success. God, this was why Jazz said he probably had anxiety disorder. He was really trying to stop overthinking things so much, but this situation just made that tendency flare up like it usually only did around his own parents.

"Sorry none of the tableware matches," Mrs. Fenton said, though she was still standing over the pot, and not looking at him. "Jack and Danny are both a bit clumsy, so dishes tend to get broken a lot by mistake around here, chairs too, if you can believe it." She laughed.

When Spike smiled, he tried to make it bigger than usual, stretching his lips a little wider so she wouldn't mistake that he was smiling. It probably just looked creepy. He should stop. Should he stop? He should say something.

"I don't mind," he said. "It makes this place feel lived-in—like a home, I mean. I just think there's something kind of... uh... aloof about everything being a perfect matched set."

"You know, I like that," Mrs. Fenton said. "That's a very interesting point of view. Certainly makes me feel better about it." She laughed again. She was a cheerful woman, that or she just happened to be in a very good mood today.

"I must say, you seem like a nice boy," she said after a moment. "Jazz's last boyfriend was a punk. Very disrespectful and reckless. I don't know what she saw in him."

"I'm actually not..." Spike trailed off, unsure if he should even say anything. Jazz said her parents wouldn't mind, but he was still hesitant to contradict her mom.

"Hm? Not what, dear?"

Oh, damn it, she was already calling him dear, he couldn't lie to her now. "I'm non-binary," he said, trying to keep his voice steady and not let it fall too quiet as he spoke. "I'm Jazz's partner, not her boyfriend."

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to assume," Mrs. Fenton said immediately, looking back at him sympathetically. "Would you prefer I use they/them pronouns for you?"

"I actually prefer he/him, but they/them is fine with me, too. Whichever's easier for you."

"If you prefer he, then I'll use that," she told him. "I know that's what Jazz uses, too. I guess that's why I assumed you were a boy, but that's my bad. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

The only thing stopping Spike from tearing up at a parental figure not only correcting themself when they misgendered him, but also apologizing for it, was the fact that he'd worked so hard on his eyeliner before coming here and didn't want to smudge it by crying.

"It's alright," he said, then cleared his throat to keep his voice from shaking. "It was an honest mistake."

Jazz reappeared in the doorway then, with her little brother right behind her. Spike had seen the kid around school. He kept the company of one of the only other goth kids at Casper High, which was probably the only reason Spike had ever noticed him. He hadn't made the connection that this was Jazz's brother, though.

"Spike, right?" the boy said. "Danny. Nice to meet you." Without waiting for a response, he turned to look at his mother. "What's for dinner?" he asked.

Spike had been wondering that, too. He couldn't tell from the smell because it was overpowered by that other strange scent he still had yet to identify. He could swear he'd smelled it before, but he just couldn't place it.

"Spaghetti, Cobb salad, and garlic bread, and yes, you have to eat some salad before you leave the table," his mother replied. A timer dinged and she turned off the stove burner and put on a pair of oven mitts that were on the counter. "Danny, would you let your father know dinner's ready?"

Danny walked across the kitchen and opened a door on the far wall. Behind it was a dark, sloped hallway and some stairs, probably down to a basement.

"Dad! Dinner!" Danny called down before closing the door and walking back to take a seat at the table.

Jazz, mercifully, hung her jacket on the back of the chair to Spike's right to claim that seat. Then she went to help her mother transfer the food onto serving dishes. While the two of them started to put the food on the table, the building started to shake.

Spike grabbed the table, surprised. Was this an earthquake?

The basement door burst open, and Spike's eyes blew wide as he saw a gigantic man enter the kitchen. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit and a beaming smile that was actually strikingly like Jazz's. This must have been her father. She could have warned him that the man was a friggin' giant.

"Did I hear something about dinner?" His voice boomed, though it didn't seem like he was trying to be loud, more like he was just naturally big and imposing in every way.

"Yes, Jack, now take a seat," Mrs. Fenton told him. "Jack, that's Spike, Jazz's partner. You remembered he was coming over today, right?"

"I did not," Mr. Fenton said plainly, taking the seat on Spike's left. "It's nice to meet you, son!"

"He's non-binary, Jack," Maddie corrected gently. "He probably doesn't want to be called son."

It was true that, from a gender standpoint, son was not Spike's favorite word, but with the amount of affection Mr. Fenton had said it with, he actually didn't mind.

"Whoops, my mistake!" Mr. Fenton said. "It's nice to meet you, kiddo!" he turned to his wife. "Is that better?"

Spike tried not to get too choked up. "Yeah, thanks," he said, wondering if the Fentons could just adopt him now, or if that would be too awkward, since he was dating their daughter.

Everything was put on the table, and Jazz and her mom sat down in the remaining seats, Jazz to Spike's right, and Mrs. Fenton to her husband's left. Then the serving dishes were passed around the table so everyone could scoop themselves some spaghetti and take a slice of garlic bread and some salad (not very much salad in Danny or Mr. Fenton's case).

This part of dinner had little talking, except to ask for the salt or garlic bread to be passed. But once everyone had food in front of them, the conversation—the scary part of dinner with your girlfriend's parents—began in earnest.

"So, Spike, was it?"

Spike nodded at Mr. Fenton's question.

"What's your opinion about ghosts?"

"Dad!" Jazz whined. "Do we have to talk about ghosts at the dinner table?"

"What? It's just a question!" Mr. Fenton defended. "What else am I going to ask about?"

Jazz leaned over to Spike and shook her head. "You can ignore that. Ghosts are not a topic of conversation we have to engage with."

"No, it's fine," Spike said.

He really didn't understand why she was acting like this. They lived in Amity Park, so ghosts were a pretty common topic of conversation. When they attacked the town almost every day, that did tend to make people talk about them.

"Alright," Jazz said, as though he'd just insisted on going skydiving without any training, rather than having a conversation about current events. "If you're sure."

"Uh... I guess I'm neutral about ghosts," Spike answered finally, suddenly very unconfident in his decision to engage. He had thought ghosts would be a relatively safe topic, but he was definitely second guessing himself now. Were the Fentons some kind of ghost fanatics? "I wish they'd stop attacking our school so much, because it's really disruptive, but other than that, I don't really care one way or another."

"Disruptive, huh?" Mrs. Fenton repeated. "Yes, I'd say that's a perfect word for what ghosts are."

"Yes, although, I'll say if they were attacking my school all the time, I wouldn't exactly be neutral," Mr. Fenton agreed. "I'd want them gone."

"You want them gone anyway," Danny pointed out, rolling his eyes as he poked at his spaghetti.

This was, evidently, not the first time they'd heard all this.

Spike leaned over to his girlfriend and whispered, "Did I miss something? What's your parents' deal about ghosts?"

She turned to look at him with wide-eyed shock on her face. "Oh no," she whispered back. "Don't tell me you somehow didn't know? Everyone knows."

"Know what?"

"My parents are ghost hunters," she told him under her breath. "I thought you would have seen them making fools of themselves all over town, I didn't think there was anyone in Amity Park who didn't know, or I would have warned you."

"Oh."

Oh.

So her parents were fanatics, and he'd just decided to play hopscotch in a minefield. Great. At least that explained the weird stains, magazine, and anachronistic technology. And the smell. Now that Spike knew, that acrid smell was unmistakably ectoplasm, and if they were ghost hunters, it was no wonder that smell got stronger the closer he was to the basement where Mrs. Fenton had said the lab was.

How are you gonna worm your way out of this one, Spike? he wondered to himself.

What were his options?

First, he could keep trying to hold a conversation about ghosts with two people who A) knew way way way more about ghosts than he did, B) were way more passionate about ghosts that he was, and C) appeared to be very intense in their opinions on ghosts and would no doubt try to make him feel the same way they did. That sounded awful, but as long as he let them lead the conversation he could probably come out of it without looking like a bad person or a bad partner for their daughter.

Another option was attempting to change the topic, but that would require coming up with a new topic to talk about, and depending on the depths of the Fentons ghost fixation, there was a solid chance they'd find a way to bring the conversation back around to ghosts anyway. If they did that, he'd have to come up with another new topic of conversation, and that loop could continue until the end of the night when he could finally leave. He wasn't sure how fast he would have to cycle through conversation topics, and his mind was already blanking trying to come up with just one.

His final option was to fake some kind of emergency and run, but that would almost certainly lower the Fentons opinion of him, so he would rather put that in his back pocket and use it only as a last resort.

In his silence while Spike considered the best course of action, the Fenton parents had continued talking about the danger ghosts represented for the town's schoolchildren, and how they should really be taking much more thorough precautions than just installing ecto-detector proximity alarms.

First and foremost, Spike's goal for this dinner was to get Jazz's parents to like him. No matter how much he dreaded it, he knew which of the options for conversation would put him in the best standing with them. He only hoped Jazz could forgive him.

"So, you guys are ghost hunters," Spike began. "Have you met a lot of ghosts, then? What would you say the most dangerous ghost you ever fought was?"

Jazz turned to him with betrayal written all over her face. He knew that she hated talking about ghosts, and she obviously hated listening to her parents talk about ghosts even more, but if he wanted to get in good with her family, sacrifices had to be made.

Immediately, Mr and Mrs. Fenton started debating who the most powerful ghost they'd ever fought was. Mrs. Fenton said that it was, without a doubt, some ghost called Pariah Dark, although Mr. Fenton argued that they hadn't so much fought Pariah Dark as held him off. He seemed to be of the opinion that the most dangerous ghost they'd ever fought was Danny Phantom, who had—according to rumors, anyway—been the one who actually beat Pariah Dark.

Beneath the din, Spike leaned over to whisper an apology to his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, I just really want them to like me, please don't be mad."

Jazz's look of betrayal twisted into a conspiratorial smile. "You sly bastard," she said fondly. "That's actually pretty clever."

"Danny Phantom never pulled the entire city into the Ghost Zone," Mrs. Fenton reminded pointedly.

"Just because he hasn't doesn't mean he couldn't!" Mr. Fenton argued.

That went on for a while until Danny huffed in annoyance and decided to put an end to it.

"Why don't you just tell him about both ghosts?" he suggested.

Spike wished that Danny had specified not to do so simultaneously, because what he got was a double-barrelled lecture on the most dangerous ghosts they'd ever talked. Both Mr. and Mrs. Fenton trying to talk over each other, neither of them pausing to let the other be heard, getting progressively louder and louder, even though Spike had poor audio processing abilities and didn't register a single word they were saying.

Finally, their explanations came to an end, and Spike nodded and tried to look impressed, even though he had absolutely no idea what either of them had said about either ghost.

"Wow," he said, it seemed like a safe response. "Sounds like you guys have had a lot of... uh... intense ghost fights?" he glanced at Jazz, who nodded encouragingly. "I bet there were some easy ones, too, though. Who's the weakest ghost you ever fought.

"Oh, the Box Ghost," both Fenton Parents, and, surprisingly, Danny, said simultaneously.

Spike had been hoping that question would carry the conversation a little longer, but he should have known better. Even he knew who the Box Ghost was, a total joke that didn't present a legitimate threat to anyone.

"Of course, I should have known," he said.

"You kinda should have," Jazz teased.

"Okay, well... how do you... I mean... what do you do with the ghosts, after you fight them?" Spike asked. Maybe that question would keep them talking longer than the last.

"We capture them, of course," Mr. Fenton said, which didn't bode well for Spike's time consuming endeavors.

"Then what?"

"We take them to the lab for study," Mrs. Fenton said.

"How do you do that?" That was it. If Spike could just keep asking follow up questions he could make it to the end of the night.

Mrs. Fenton began to describe her scientific process. It was kind of gross, but a little bit interesting. She finished with, "Unfortunately, I don't get to actually do that very often. Somehow the ghosts we capture end up escaping through the Fenton Portal. We keep increasing and overhauling the security systems in our containment chambers, but there must be some flaw we haven't found yet."

"At least they're escaping to the Ghost Zone and not into town to cause more trouble," Danny pointed out.

"I suppose that's true," Mrs. Fenton agreed. "It could be worse."

Eventually, everyone finished eating, and dinner did end. Mrs. Fenton invited Spike to stay for fudge. He said no, since it was getting very late and he didn't want to miss his curfew, but agreed to take a little box of fudge with him when she pressed. He didn't want to make her think he didn't like her cooking—although when he ate a piece at home later, he was sure that her fudge was way better than her spaghetti had been.

Jazz walked him out so they could say goodbye.

"You played them like a fiddle," Jazz said, beaming with pride. "I think they love you more than me after that dinner." She laughed. "And you were worried you'd mess everything up."

"Oh yeah, I was worried the whole time," he agreed. "But you were right. Everything went fine. You're always right."

"And don't you forget it," she said.

Spike leaned down to give her a quick goodbye kiss, taking her hands into his own.

"Thanks for having me over," he said. "Your parents are good people, even if they are obsessed with ghosts."

"I told you."

"Yeah, yeah," he huffed a quiet laugh of his own. "You always do."

"See you at school tomorrow," she said. "I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too." Then he let her hands slip out of his and walked down the steps, waving goodbye.

He was not looking forward to returning to his own empty, aloof home, and his own cold, judgemental parents. One more year. Less than a year. Ten months, three weeks, and two days. Then he would be eighteen, and he could leave that awful house and live alone—or with Jazz, if she agreed. He didn't expect her to, but he could hope.