#But the clone character model is TRASH and more people should say it

[adh-d2]

This is absolutely phenomenal work right here.

I wanted to play around and “redo” the clone model, bc frankly it stinks. first I studied and rendered a version of Plunketts original clone sculpt as a base, then I sketched and intermediate, and then finished it off with a final render. The final render that I made is just a piggy-back off of Plunketts original design, a suggestion of some geometry changes they could make, but it if we’re me I would do a complete overhaul of the model to make it anatomy more like Temuera’s. Because I wanted to start at the (sort of) same starting place as Plunkett, I started with one of his original sculpts of the clones (the one I used is a sculpt of Fives).

Here is a written outline of the ALL changes I made:

removed extreme cheekbone geometry from the sides of the face in favor of a smooth plane

removed the extreme angles of the jaw in favor of Temuera’s rounded jawline, also lowered a tad

change of hairline to match Temuera’s hairline shape

complete change of the nose geometry, flatter, broader. Still “shapely” to fit the general style

lips are smaller and rounded

brows are lowered and relaxed like Temuera’s

added crease above nose and in between eyebrows

removal of wrinkles (they’re in their twenties what were you thinking)

added texture to the hair. I would suggest starting with large textured shapes and then do a painted texture on the model similar to how they did Trace and Admiral Rampart’s hair. the textures are simple but the painting makes the hair patterns more apparent on top of the model’s geometry.

(not pictured) add a more appropriate skin tone (I understand that the raw animation the clones are already pretty dark, but the shaders they use make the final rendering for animated clones SIGNIFICANTLY lighter, to combat this, make the ‘true color’ of the animated clones darker to compensate for the lightening in rendering or fix the shaders)

(not pictured) get rid of the grey/golden eyes, idk what it is about LFA’s refusal to give POC characters their dark brown eyes but just give em back, man. use the dark almost black eyes Temuera has.

I am NOT a 3D animator or a 3D modeler, however all of the things that I changed are completely realistic and achievable in 3D. (i elaborate on this more in the post)

When I started this process I made notes of some of the most glaring features on the first clone model, such as the extremely chiseled and angular face, large Eurocentric nose, straight hair, and (while it’s not pictured in my render) the obviously-too-light skin. This looks nothing like Temuera, not even if you squint. I made some notes of the features that they excluded from the model (1st image) and some notes of features that Temuera has that would help capture his likeness better (2nd image)

I’ve heard the argument a million times that the model isn’t whitewashed it’s just “the art style”. ABSOLUTELY NOT BABE, SIT DOWN AND TAKE A GANDER. This is Captain Typo’s character model, based on a Polynesian actor. LFA is clearly capable of sculpting and rendering Polynesian features and curly hair textures. They have dark skin, rounded face, DARK BROWN EYES, curls, rounded flat nose, etc. the argument that it’s ‘just the art style’ is a hot pile of garbage, stop using it.

Hair texture time! To elaborate more on the proposed hair texture in my model redesign, I wanted to explain what I’m talking about a little bit. LFA is capable of animating lots of different kinds of hair textures, they just elected to exclude it from the clone model for whatever reason. They achieve geometric texture, which is the actual geometry of the model, and painted textures, where there is simple geometry but most of the texturing is done with paint, the colors you see on top the 3D geometry. Either of these options would be acceptable for curly hair like Temuera’a. (Looking again Trace Martez’ hair might fall a bit in between the two categories, but the point is still the same)

I also understand that animation, especially 3D animation is hard. But that’s not an excuse for LFA! they’ve updated the clone model significantly about 3 times, and that doesn’t include some of the smaller geometry changes they’ve made to characters like Hunter and Rex. They can achieve rounded faces (Fennec, Typho, Trace Martez) and other appropriate features for people of color. With 3 major overhauls they should have at least tried to make them resemble Temuera Morrison.

Now you tell me, which one of these looks more appropriate for a Māori man in his twenties? (If you say the first you’re lying to yourself!)

[quirkwizard]

There isn't any real reasoning for why I made this. Maybe because I already did something like this with 1-A? I just thought it'd be a fun scenario to imagine where these characters would be if they had real jobs. Instead of ending up in various levels of dead or damaged. I will ignore characters that I think are simply too evil to have any real chances, like Moonfish, or others I just don't think are interesting, like Mange. That and most MLA because they already have real jobs. Them being redeemed would just be them going back to work with ankle bracelets on.

Mustard-Fumigator: If his gas can knock out and poison people that quickly, I imagine that it can kill bugs just as well. And if he comes across any particularly bad bugs, he always has his gun.

Giran-Salesman: I mean, it'd be basically be what he was doing before. Now instead of seeing illegal weaponry, he'll be selling used cars so expensive it should be illegal.

Spinner-Streamer: He can still play games and not leave his house, but now he will hopefully have a more healthy outlet for everything he is going through. He doesn't even need a VTuber set up. He is the goofy model.

Tomura-Waste Management: This allows Tomura to let out his destructive tendencies and can help get rid of a lot of debris and trash that is just laying around. Now instead of leaving a destroy wasted, he can clean up the destroyed waste.

Mr. Compress-Street Mage: Probably the most obvious pick out of everyone on this list. Between his power, his gimmick, and his natural showmanship, it all fits right into this kind of job. He doesn't even need to change his outfit to make it work.

Muscular-Coach: Since he can't be trust in any fighting based sport. I'm not sure if this would be as a gym coach or personal couch, but either way, he is going to take all that sadisms and ideas of conflict and channeling that aggression for other people's benefit.

Kurogiri-Travel Agent: As much as hero may be on the table, I think there would be some optics issues with that. Still he could send people where ever they want to go on vacation with a fraction of the rates. Just as long as they give a way to send them back home.

Dabi-Lead Singer: Specifically something in the metal or rock genre. He's got that perfect mix of voice, look, and angst to fit right into that kind of culture. And considering how many songs are written for people who don't like their dads, he'd have plenty of material for songs.

Toga-Photographer: Toga was the hardest out of all of them. I just went with something that could express herself more healthy, maybe even being a crime scene photographer, and being in a job where stalking someone is considered worthwhile experience for the job.

Twice-Odd Jobs: As much as I want to say tailor for his sick measuring skills, he doesn't really have any definable skills. So having him be around and help people with his dozens of clones seems fitting. That and there is so much comedic potential in them doing odd jobs week to week.

Gigantomachia-Tourist Barge: Instead of demolishing cities, Gigantomachia can use his tough body to show people around normally hazardous areas like oceans or mountains. He can even use the cheers of the people he's carrying as encouragement to boost his power.

Geten-Ice Cream Man: I prefer to think that Geten's abilities would cover ice cream as well. As such, it is only a natural conclusion that he would become an ice cream man. And knowing him, he will fight and train to be the best ice cream man on the planet.

Kuin-Beekeeper: Considering how bad of a spot bees are in, Kuin could do a real service to the community be helping to spread out pollen with her power. And hey, leading a bunch of bees would come naturally to her as a living insect.

Number 6-Motivation Speaker: Forget the amount of social manipulation he did in his own story, I say this job fits because of the amount of spite Number 6 has. It's that spite that allowed him to get going and fulfil his dreams. Now that's inspiring.

Overhaul-Doctor: I've already gone over how useful "Overhaul" would be in medical work and he already has plenty of experience with medicine. Heck, we can even have the other yakuza guys around as nurses and other kinds of assistants. Beside manner may need work.

Stain-Bounty Hunter: I wanted Stain to end up somewhere where he could technically good, like a detective, but a bounty hunter fits way more within his skill set. Plus, there is a lot of comedy potential. Imagine a poster him in the bond office say "Pay your bond or else!"

Gentle and La Brava-Social Media Stars: Basically what they were doing before. Now with hopefully less crime in between videos. Gentle could even spin his whole redemption for more views, telling his sad story in prison and his time trying to rehabilitate himself. Take that as genuinely or facetiously as you want.

[agentofmischief]

Birthstone Legacy Challenge

Ok, I don’t post a lot on here, but I’m a huge fan of the sims. I’ve been playing it since gen 1 back in 2000. So, I’ve been having fun with challenges, especially the past couple years with 100 Baby, and I’ve found online. And after reading hearing and reading up on Lilsimsie’s Not So Berry Challenge, I had an idea of my own challenge. So, I thought I’d share if anyone else wanted to play along.

Disclaimer: These challenges mean nothing in regards to people born in that month. I simply took symbolism and cultural aspects of each stone to create a challenging and interesting playthroughs you might not think to do.

Lifespan requirements: Normal (not sure if it’s possible on Short, but if you want hard mode, do it).

The idea is to start with your month’s birthstone, then each generation is the next month’s stone for either 10 generations (traditional Legacy), or 12 if you wan to do the full year. You could also start on the month after your birth month with a full year play-through, so your birth month acts as a “finale”. Might be helpful if say your birth month is April, and you know your month’s stone is Diamond and to you it sounds like a finisher, or if your birth month is December, and you’d just prefer to start with January’s stone. It’s up to you.

These will just be listed month by month, so they are easy to find.

Like in the other color challenges, you want to model your sim with the stone’s colors in mind. You should also build their house with their stone’s color in mind.

1. January stone: GARNET

    Color: Dark Red

Garnets have a high refractive index, which causes them to look as if they are emitting light. Due to this phenomenon, travelers during the crusades would carry them to ward off evil. The stone represents Faith, Love and Constance.

Traits: Good, Ambitious, Cheerful

Goals:

 - Complete the Soulmate aspiration

- Complete the Law career as a judge.

- Must maintain career until death (meaning no retirement, quitting, or being fired).

- Must have at least 2 kids after the soulmate aspiration is fulfilled.

- All children must be raised with all green character values and no lower than Bs in school.

2. February stone: AMETHYST

    Color: Purple

The word Amethyst comes from the Greek word, amethystos, meaning “not drunken.” This comes from a myth where Dionysus was so enraged, he vowed his wrath on the next human he saw, which was a young woman, Amethystos. To “save” this woman, Artemis turned her to stone (note to self, don’t ask Artemis to save you ever, because her track record sucks). Dionysus calmed at seeing the stone’s beauty, and poured his wine on it, giving the stone it’s purple color. In more recent centuries, amethysts have been associated with piety and rank in the Catholic Church, as bishops are given amethysts when they are appointed.

Traits: Genius, Bookworm, Snob (If you have Snowy escape, replace one of these with Proper).

Goals:

-Complete the Knowledge - Renaissance Sim aspiration.

-Complete the Education Career as a Professor.

-Can not go to bars or nightclubs

-Max out Logic, Writing, and a musical skill (Violin, Guitar, Piano, or Singing)

-Can never marry or enter into an official dating relationship; HOWEVER must have at least 1 kid at some point to continue the legacy. This can be through adoption, which is more likely if you want to play pure piety or you have an Ace sim in mind, and the adoptee must be a child or teen. The other option is through secret woohoos if you want to play the more historically accurate, seedy way. **If you are playing with Risky Woohoos, you can have max 2 kids living with you. All others children must be removed from the house and into a Townie’s home once they become toddlers.

3. March stone: AQUAMARINE

    Color: Light Blue

Due to aquamarine’s sea-like color, they’ve long been associated with traveling and the sea. Sailors used to put them under their pillows to calm themselves. They are said to inspire peace and ward off poisons.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Glutton, Loner

Goals:

-Complete Angling Ace aspiration.

-Eat out of the trash 5 times without getting sick.

-Have an aquarium with 10 fish.

-Catch a vampire squid. ** Or if you have Island Living, you must become a mermaid.

-Must eat and learn to make Pufferfish Nigiri.

4. April stone: DIAMOND

   Color: White/Silver

Diamond is the hardest stone on Earth, and is often associated with wealth and treasures. The word diamond comes from the greek word adamas, meaning unconquerable. They are the most popular of the stones, and so recently have been “Lab Grown.”

Traits: Ambitious, Insider, Perfectionist

Goals:

-Complete the Scientist career.

-Complete Leader of the Pack aspiration.

-Find all the crystals.

-Must clone a diamond.

-Become best friends with Judith Ward and have a framed selfie with her in your house.

-Date/marry someone in the Style-influencer career.

5. May stone: EMERALD

    Color: Dark Green

Emeralds are an old stone, first mined in ancient Egypt. Cleopatra was known to wear them frequently. They are said to symbolize fertility, wisdom, and Spring. It’s also said to heal heartbreak.

Traits: Jealous, Romantic, Materialistic

Goals:

-Master Gardening skill.

-Date and 100% romance a politician, then break up with them.

-Have at least 3 kids from multiple partners (each must have reached 100% romance first).

-Breed a frog worth over $100

-Must complete Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

-Does not marry, UNLESS you have Strangerville, and can marry an Officer in the Military Branch. However, when they die, so does your sim.

6. June stone: PEARL

    Color: White/Cream

Pearls are created by oysters and are considered the “perfect” gem, as it needs no man-mad alterations. Pearls are often attributed to wisdom through experience, as well as innocence and fertility.

Traits: Childish, Perfectionist, Family-oriented

Goals:

-Must have 5 kids before becoming an adult.

-Must complete the Curator aspiration.

-Must master 10 skills. ** If you are using Tiny House perks, 15 skills.

7. July stone: RUBY

    Color: Bright Red

Rubies are well known for their blood-red color, earning their association with health and vitality. They are also symbols of love, passion, and prosperity.

Traits: Self-Assured, Romantic, Self-Absorbed

Goals:

-Complete Serial Romantic aspiration.

-Master Cooking, Athletic, and Charisma skills.

-Complete Doctor Career.

-Must Woohoo at least once in each: Closet, Jacuzzi, Observatory, Bush, Spaceship, Lighthouse, Pile of leaves, Shower, Coffin.

8. August stone: PERIDOT

   Color: Light Green

Peridot is the stone of compassion, bringing health and peace to emotions and the mind. It inspires eloquence, creativity, and good cheer.

Traits: Creative, Vegetarian, Goofball

Goals:

-Complete the Painter Career.

-Master Painting, Photography, and Handiness skills.

-Paint 5 Masterpieces.

-Craft a bathtub of excellent quality.

-Complete Painter Extraordinaire aspiration.

9. September stone: SAPPHIRE

    Color: Royal Blue

With the most famous sapphires being Princess Diana’s iconic engagement ring and The Heart of the Ocean in Titanic, it’s now wonder Sapphires hue long been associated with nobility and power. The stone symbolizes strength, loyalty, and focus through self-discipline.

Traits: Materialistic, Genius, Insider ** If you have snowy escape, Proper takes place for Materialistic.

Goals:

-Complete the Law Career as a Private Attorney.

-Complete the Mansion Baron aspiration.

-Must start a club with Wealthy requirement ($30,000+). *If you start a fraternity/sorority in University, it counts if wealthy is listed as a requirement.

-Max out Charisma, Logic, and Writing skills.

-Must marry another club leader.

-Must get Gold in Wedding Social Event, and pay full $1750. Minimum of 10 guests.

-Must have a son. (He does not HAVE to be the continuation of the Legacy, but he can if you want. Also, if you have a born daughter, but decide to transition her, that does not count. Since it’s a click of a button without game mechanic influence, it’s kind of cheating. HOWEVER, if you decide your born son should transition, it still counts. This is mostly to take the steps during pregnancy to make a boy (since we’ve all watched others influence for a girl 1000x), That or to keep going until “the odds are in your favor.”)

10. October stone: PINK TOURMALINE

      Color: Pink

Pink Tourmaline, also known as October rose, represents humanity, sympathy to others, and humanitarian work. It’s believed to carry the virtue of love that is unconditional, offering comfort to children and lasting friendships.

Traits: Unflirty, Gloomy, Outgoing

Goals:

-Complete the Politician career as a Charity Organizer.

-Complete Friend to the World aspiration.

-Adopt 2 kids (Do not have to be legacy continuation).

-Max out friendship/be best friends with 4 sims before becoming an Adult. The friendship must be maintained throughout life.

-Have a rose garden.

-Write 5 Children’s books.

-Volunteer with family 5 times.

*If you get the pop-up asking to donate to charity, you must if you have the money.

11. November stone: CITRINE

     Color: Dark Yellow (almost Gold)

Citrine’s yellow stone radiates happiness, creativity, and wealth. Named for it’s citrus like color, it’s no wonder it’s the stone for a month known for it’s food. Citrine is known also as the Merchant’s stone for it’s golden color.

Traits: Cheerful, Foodie, Creative

Goals:

-Complete Culinary Career.

-Complete Culinary aspiration.

-Master Cooking and baking skills.

-Own a fruit and vegetable garden with every possible fruit and veggie in your game.

-Own a Bakery or Restaurant.

-Cook an Excellent quality Grand Meal.

-Learn 10 Food Stall recipes.

12. December stone: Turquoise

     Color: Blue/Green (Teal)

Turquoise is an odd one. In European cultures, it’s the stone of friendship and attracts money and luck, but is also frequently used in Evil Eye talismans. Historically, Montezuma II gifted these gems to Cortez, the Spanish Conquistador. The Apache used turquoise as well, as a charm on their bows for better aim.

Traits: Evil, Outgoing, Kleptomaniac

Goals:

-Max out Mischief and Charisma skills.

-Complete the Criminal Career.

-Complete Public Enemy aspiration.

-Start a Kleptomaniac club.

-Steal an object worth $10,000

-Marry someone with the Good trait, and cheat on them 5 times.

Happy simming!

[3pirouette]

Fic: The Good Doctor: Learning Curve (1/1)

Title: The Good Doctor: Learning Curve

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

The Good Doctor Series on AO3

Learning Curve on AO3

Story Summary: Peggy didn’t realize that she’d put her foot in her mouth when she’d asked Barton if he was a father.

Satisfies the Clint Barton Square for my Steggy Bingo Bash and Day 5 of Steggy Week: Favorite Trope/Genre. Usually the “getting used to the future” trope is saved for Steve, but I thought we’d turn it on its head a little.

A/N: Clint is… a mystery to me. He’s one of the characters I rarely write because I don’t feel like I have a good hold on who he is internally. As a square for my SBB, this is a challenge, but I really liked this idea, and I love this universe, so… Also, I now really like this soft, Daddy!Clint.

~*~

Peggy hated crying.

She hated showing anyone any kind of weakness.

She especially hated crying in the shared kitchen where anyone could come in and just see her standing in the middle of the kitchen, crying. Even though she knew she was alone, that didn’t make it feel any less public or exposed.

But she didn’t really have much of a choice, not when every single thing she’d tried to accomplish today had felt like a struggle and just out of her grasp and Steve was off somewhere and she was here, alone, trying to figure out just when to give up and try to talk to the disembodied voice in the ceiling or call Tony’s girlfriend who was currently all the way across the country.

She reached out to the counter, sniffling, eyes filled with tears from both the smoke of her burnt chicken and the emotional release she was having. She pulled at the slip of paper, trying to make out the number.

“You could just call her, you know.”

She jumped at the voice, warm and soft and male and very much not the AI she’d been expecting. She swiped at her eyes, sniffing away the tears. “I’m sorry?”

“Pepper. She wouldn’t mind.” The man gestured at the paper. “She’s pretty nice, once you get past that outer shell of cold-hearted CEO. She’s actually pretty down to earth.” He shrugged and moved past Peggy into the kitchen. “I mean, you could ask Friday for help, too, but she’s not as good as Jarvis was.”

Peggy watched as he moved around her, seemingly glued to the spot as he pulled her ruined chicken from what she thought had been an oven. “I mean, it’s not your fault everything around here is suped up to eleven.” He shrugged and tossed the chicken in the trash before he ran water in the tray and set it in the sink to soak.

“Who…”

Peggy didn’t even get out the whole sentence before he held his hand out to her. “Clint Barton.” He smiled, but it faded when she didn’t take his hand. He let it drop and moved back to the cabinets. “Picking up some tech and meeting the team in Hungry in the morning. Steve said you’d be here.” He started opening cabinets and picking through the cupboard. “Figured I’d see if there was anything worth scavenging here before we’re on freeze dried protein bars for the next few days.” He turned to her, face scrunching up. “They’re so dry.”

Peggy watched as he walked past the oven and flicked a switch, the overhead fan turning on and pulling the residual smoke from the air.

“Looks like there isn’t much… Wanda make any of that Pepper-stuff?”

“Paprikash?” Peggy stuttered out, still shocked at the ease he was moving around.

“Yeah!” He smiled and pointed at her, moving to the refrigerator. “I have no idea what’s in it, but it’s good.” He pulled out a glass container and smiled. “Bingo! Want some?”

Peggy nodded, shaking herself out of her stupor. “I’m afraid I’ll be of little use lest I burn down the kitchen.”

“Nah,” Clint moved around swiftly, barely looking as he pulled pots and spoons and bowls and set the stew to warm on the stove. “Friday’d activate the fire suppressants first.”

Clint leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms, looking her over. “Please tell me you weren’t crying over just a burnt piece of chicken?”

She cleared her throat, feeling suddenly caught. “Well, I…” she let the sentence drift off, not sure if she could get it all out without falling apart again.

He let the silence hang for a moment before he softened his face as he busied himself but getting the leftovers on the stove. “Steve asked me to check on you. Said he’s been calling and calling and you weren’t answering.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I… I…” Her hands flailed at her sides and the emotional release that had been so rudely interrupted by Barton’s appearance returned in full force.

He immediately moved forward, eyes soft, voice softer. “Hey, hey. Now it can’t be that bad.”

“I broke the phone!” She cried out, hands flailing in front of her and miming her frustrations out. “The little metal piece that goes in to charge it broke off and then I couldn’t charge it and none of the other ones would fit in it because I’d broke off the little piece inside and I tried to get it out but then I ended up making it worse because it wouldn’t turn on and I didn’t know how to fix it and then I was talking to Friday and I don’t know who Jarvis is but that woman in the ceiling knows nothing about phone and kept telling me to charge it and I couldn’t and…” She took a deep breath and dissolved into more tears.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Clint cooed, moving her over to one of the kitchen stools. “Sit. Take a deep breath,” he maneuvered away, filling a glass of water while he kept his eyes on her, “In for five, out for five, come on.” He modeled the breathing in front of her, waiting until she’d managed to even hers out before handing her the glass. “Little sips, ok?”

Peggy nodded, and he watched her as she caught her breath. When he seemed satisfied she wasn’t going to hyperventilate, he stepped back around and stirred the simmering paprikash.

She was quiet until she was no more than breathing heavy, swiping at the tears still falling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. That was… I’m sorry.”

“You know,” he started, almost ignoring her apology, “If I’d been pulled out of green goop and found out it was seventy years later in an entirely new world and my clone had ruined everything I’d try to build, I’d be a little upset, too.” He looked up at her, a half-smile on his face. “No one expects you to understand everything right away.”

She didn’t even have to think about her response. “I do.”

“Yeah, well,” he ladled out the stew into two steaming bowls, “Maybe you should give yourself some slack, too.”

She watched as he slid the bowls over than moved around the counter, gesturing to the seat next to her. “You mind? I won’t get much company the next few days.”

“Not at all,” she whispered, taking the warm bowl in her hands. She breathed in the warm, spicy steam but didn’t move to taste it, instead watching cautiously as Clint started taking heaping mouthfuls.

“You should eat,” he murmured around another spoonful. “You’ll feel better.”

Feeling like a chided child, she took the spoon and dipped it in. She hated to admit that he was right: after a few mouthfuls, she started to feel more like herself. “You must have children,” she said softly. “You were really quite good at stopping that tantrum.”

She noticed immediately the way he stiffened up, the way he carefully didn’t look at her and the way he deliberately took another mouthful of the stew. Peggy didn’t realize that she’d put her foot in her mouth when she’d asked Barton if he was a father. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “It’s none of my business.”

“No,” he replied softly, setting his spoon in the bowl and wiping his mouth off with a napkin. “It’s just….” He turned in his chair, leaning on the counter as he looked at her. “I’ve worked with these people for so long, and not one has ever picked up on that. Five minutes and you’re pinning me down.” He smiled and laughed through his nose, turning back to his stew. “What do ya know.”

Peggy kept her eyes glued to him. “What do you mean?”

He laughed for real this time and turned back to her, smiling. “They used to say that Peggy Carter was sharp as a tack. That she could look at you and know everything about you. But when Shield fell and everything with Zola came to light…” Barton shrugged. “People didn’t seem to tell the war stories anymore. Just kinda, phased Director Carter out of Shield’s history. But here you are, in the flesh, and in less than five minutes you’ve got me pegged.” He laughed lightly again, playing with the spoon in his bowl. “You really are that much larger than life, aren’t you?”

Peggy didn’t really know what to make of all he’d said, she was still catching up with all she’d missed, and had steadfastly stayed away from information on the other her. She shrugged. “I’m just an agent, Mr. Barton. A spy. One that takes pride in her craft.” She pointed at him. “You stayed calm in the face of a crying woman, something that not many men can do, I assure you. But not only that, you moved about and settled the situation without any muss or fuss. You’re kind. And Intuitive. And have clearly dealt with toddlers before.” She laughed a little at the last part. “It’s not a hard jump.”

“Three kids. Two boys and a girl,” he whispered, pride exuding from him. “And I do everything I can to make sure as many people know as little about them as possible so they can stay safe.”

“I’d say that’s a smart move in your line of work,” she replied softly.

“Yeah,” he said, daydreaming as if he could see his children before him. It was a long moment before he turned back to her, his melancholy gone and the confident, nearly hyper man she’d first met back. “Let’s get this cleaned up and I’ll help you get set up with a new phone, ok?” He pulled his out of his pocket and started pressing the glass screen before handing it to her, the rings loud in the quiet space. “But first…”

“Barton?” Steve’s voice carried between them loud and clear.

“Here with Peg, Cap.” He smiled at Peggy. “All is well except for a few technology mishaps and a burnt chicken. I’ll get her all squared away before I head out.” He handed her the phone. “You two chat for a bit while I get all this cleaned up.” He hit another button and Steve’s voice was smaller, coming from the earpiece at the top of the square.

Peggy mouthed a thank you as she pulled the phone up to her ear, stepping away and out of the kitchen, watching as the man moved with a lithe grace to clean up as Steve rambled away in her ear.

She placated him quickly, telling him what had happened and feeling no real comfort at his reassurances that it was okay. She hadn’t been lying when talking to Barton: she expected more of herself. The pace she was moving at seemed far too slow compared to the life she’d led, and she wanted out of the invisible boundaries that constantly popped up and surprised her.

Steve was saying his goodbyes before she knew it, and all too soon she was left with a dark cell phone in her hand the faint noise of Barton moving about the small kitchen. With a deep breath she moved forward, holding his phone out to him. “Thank you.”

His smile was small but sincere. “You’re welcome.” He turned, waving his hand over his shoulder for her to follow him. “There’s always an extra phone or two down in storage, between me and Friday we’ll get it all set up for you.”

She followed him wordlessly to the elevator and slipped in next to him, shoving her hands in her pockets to keep from fidgeting. “I won’t tell,” she blurted out somewhere between floors 28 and 22.

Clint smiled, but didn’t turn his head to look at her. “They all know now, anyway. But I appreciate that.”

“I know how hard it can be,” she nearly whispered, turning her eyes to the numbers instead of his profile, “to find people you can trust. To feel like you’re safe. To feel like you have something of your own.” She nodded. “I won’t tell. Ever.”

The door opened with a soft chime, but he didn’t move to exit, just turned at her and smiled a little. “You really are that good, aren’t you?” He extended his arm and tipped his head, waiting for her to step out of the elevator before he did, quickly moving next to her to lead the way. He stopped at the first storage room and let his fingers fly over the keypad. “You know, I’m glad he has someone.” The door slid open and he disappeared, Peggy rushed to follow as he moved down the shelf lined room. “I’m glad you have someone, too, for that matter. This does get lonely.” He stopped, scanned a shelf, and picked up a box, flipping it in the air theatrically before turning and presenting it to her. “We’re a bit of a mish-mash of misfits. The weird kids.” He shrugged, but didn’t seem all that bothered by his own description, “But if you need a friend? Back-up? There’s no one else I’d want to have my back than these people.”

Clint smiled at her as she took the box. “You’re a part of that now, like it or not. You call, we’ll come running. And once you’re ready, I have no doubts you’d do the same for any of us.”

Peggy looked down at the box then back up at Clint, still standing there smiling at her. She couldn’t help it if her eyes watered a little. “Well, that’s quite the tall order to fill.”

He didn’t answer, just smirked and patted her on the shoulder as he passed her. She watched as he walked back down the hall for a long moment before she ran to catch up, quickly realizing she neither knew how to get back upstairs through the labyrinth of the tower nor how to set up the new phone.

She also had the distinct feeling that somehow, she’d made her first real friend since being in the tower. Someone that saw her, not what she’d been through.

“We’ll start with using a cell phone,” he let his voice ring out in the space, “then we’ll work on being an Avenger.”

Peggy smiled, feeling like that was a feat she might actually be able to accomplish one day now that she knew she had more than just Steve on her side.

[buzzdixonwriter]

Super Duper Supermen

This will be a long one, so pour yourself a cuppa and settle down.   We may seem to meander, but we’ve got a destination.

. . .

I’m tired of superheroes.

I’m tired of a lot of genre fiction.

Part of the reason is that too much of the current material is ugly and loud, but the real reason is it isn’t fresh, it isn’t fun.

I tried watching The Boys.  I got to the end of the second scene of episode one and realize, “This ain’t for me” and turned it off and went over to YouTube and watched guys build model airplanes.

At least they look like they’re having fun.

. . .

Look, superheroes are a power fantasy and they’re okay for little kids who want to believe there’s always going to be a mommy or daddy who will protect them, but they’re an absurd genre at best and when you start taking them seriously -- and recently even the funny parodies and spoofs take themselves Too Damn Seriously -- they become horrific.

What prompted me to realize this is an article posted on The Vulcan by Abraham Riseman “The Boys Is the End of the Superhero As We Know It.”

Highly recommended, by the way.

. . .

It’s not like Riseman was the first to make this observation.

30+ years ago Gary Groth observed:

“Superman is one version of the hero with a thousand faces -- to employ the title of Joseph Cambell's excellent book on the subject -- and his appeal should therefore not surprise us.  But Superman is a crude version of the hero; if you will, an elementary one.  Unlike his more developed analogues in all the world's great religions, Superman does not offer love or goodwill, self-knowledge or contemplation as keys to man's salvation.  He offers his own physical powers.”

And he ain’t the only one.

Alan Moore recently chimed in:

“They have blighted cinema and also blighted culture to a degree. Several years ago I said I thought it was a really worrying sign, that hundreds of thousands of adults were queuing up to see characters that were created 50 years ago to entertain 12-year-old boys. That seemed to speak to some kind of longing to escape from the complexities of the modern world and go back to a nostalgic, remembered childhood. That seemed dangerous; it was infantilizing the population.

“This may be entirely coincidence, but in 2016 when the American people elected a National Socialist satsuma and the U.K. voted to leave the European Union, six of the top 12 highest-grossing films were superhero movies.  Not to say that one causes the other, but I think they’re both symptoms of the same thing — a denial of reality and an urge for simplistic and sensational solutions.”

. . .

I don’t like cruelty.

I used to enjoy old weird horror films back in the day -- movies like The Reanimator -- because I appreciated their absurdity and never took them seriously.

When the torture porn sub-genre came along, I lost interest in horror films.  

The Babadook is the only modern one I’ve seen in the last 5 years and I enjoy it because like earlier horror films (and here I include both classic Universal / RKO movies and the artistry of Mario Bava and Dario Argento) it’s essentially a very dark fairy tale, not an exercise in cruelty for the sake of cruelty.  

Violence doesn’t turn me off.

Sadism does.

And sadism is all about power and fascism is all about power, so when I remark on modern superhero and thriller and horror stories as being fascist, I know whereof I speak.

. . .

Superhero stories may not necessarily be tales told by idiots, but they are full of sound and fury, and signify nothing.

Ultimately superheroes fail because:

they can’t lose

they can’t win

There is no finality in the superhero genre.  The damn Joker keeps crawling back, Les Luthor constantly schemes, Dr. Doom and Galactus pop up whenever things lag in the sales department.

Superheroes as a genre are failures insofar as they can’t permanently deal with these existentialist threats, nor can they step out of the way to let others deal with them.

Superheroes promise salvation but deliver bupkis, slapping a band-aid on a cancer and telling us it’s all better.

They can’t permanently defeat their greatest threats, yet neither can they be truly harmed by them.

I’ll grant you the occasional Captain Mar-Vel but they are very minor exceptions to the rule.  Gwen Stacy was bumped off in The Amazing Spider-Man #121 in June 1973, first reappeared as a clone in May 1975 then several times thereafter, and most recently shows up as Spider-Gwen in Edge of Spider-Verse #2 (September 2014).  

As Roy Thomas aptly observed:  “In comics they’re only dead if you have a body and even then only maybe.” 

(In fairness, there’s no finality in most formula / genre fiction either, but we’ll get to that in a bit.)

. . . 

Before we delve deeper, let’s be clear as to what we’re discussing when we say “superheroes”.  

They don’t need to possess “powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men”.

As noted above, they just have to be:

always victorious

never in real danger

You can bash ‘em / trash ‘em / slash ‘em / smash ‘em and they still bounce back -- heroically -- to save the day.

Break both legs, riddle them with machine gun bullets, hit them with a car, cave in their skulls with sledgehammers, and yet somehow they summon up the super-human reserves needed to keep in the fight.

Mind you, in the real world there are people who display super-human endurance in horrific situations and not merely survive but go on to achieve incredible success.  They don’t do such things every year (as do heroes in movies), much less every month (comics) or every week (television). They sure as hell don’t make a career out of it.

Let’s veer away from brightly colored naked people flying & fighting to superheroes in a different genre than costumed crime fighters.

Mike Hammer is a superhero.

Sherlock Holmes is a superhero.

Philip Marlow might actually be a literary character.

Look at the criteria:  Can they lose?

Never in Hammer’s case.

Rarely for Holmes (and when he does, it’s always with bittersweet irony).

Frequently enough with Marlowe that one can’t anticipate if any of his stories will end with him victorious (yeah, he solves mysteries, but always at profound personal cost, and in more than one novel he ends up realizing he’s been a sucker all along).

Here’s another example that snaps the dichotomy into ever sharper relief:  

Samuel L. Jackson’s Shaft is a superhero.

Richard Roundtree’s Shaft is just a hero.

Roundtree’s Shaft is aware he can fail.

No “macho bullshit irony” as they say over at the Church of the Sub-Genius.

. . .

Superheroes don’t grow -- they decay.

They never truly use their power for good (because that would involve changing the world) nor do they adequately protect the innocent.

They serve no true function except to entertain and to be exploited.

Series novels and television shows can feature character growth, but the concept has to be baked in from the beginning (Jan Karon’s Mitford series and Armistead Maupin’s Tales Of The City books are two examples that spring immediately to mind).*

More typically, in series fiction the character/s show little actual growth; they are more or less the same at the end of their adventures as they were at the beginning, maybe a little greyer, maybe a little creakier, but essentially the same person.

Sometimes, particularly in military or nautical or police series, they may start out as a callow cadet but soon wise up to the stalwart hero we want to see.

As perfect an example of superhero decay can be found in the Die Hard movies.

The original’s superhero character, Detective John McClane, implausibly goes through a night of hell yet actually shows some character growth:  By the end of the film he’s able to swallow his pride and admit to his wife he was wrong.

A very farfetched movie but an emotionally satisfying one.  We’ll overlook a multitude of injuries that would have rendered him hors de combat in reality in exchange for the movie actually being about something.

All that gets chucked out in the first sequel, Die Hard 2, where the characters are thrown into a contrived situation to mirror the first film without the satisfying emotional growth but with far more ridiculous action;  Die Hard With A Vengeance jettisons McClane’s marital relationship except as an afterthought and ups the absurdity of the story (indeed, it’s best viewed as an action comedy); Live Free Or Die Hard totally trashes all the character growth before it; and A Good Day To Die Hard not only trashed previous character growth but went so badly over the top that it and the star’s aging out hopefully are the one-two punch needed to end the series once and for all.

. . . 

Look at non-superpowered / non-comic book superheroes and see how they fare.

D’Artagnan and the Three Musketeers are superheroes (conversely, Cyrano de Bergerac is not because the focus of his story is on who he is and not the what but the why of his actions; all the cool sword fighting is just bonus material).

Natty Bumpo is a superhero; anybody who can jump into a birchbark canoe from a tree branch 30 feet overhead without crashing through is a superhero because that character simple Can Not Lose.  

For that matter, most 1950s TV cowboys and virtually all Italian Western protagonists are superheroes.

Tarzan is a superhero. 

James Bond is a superhero (the SPECTRE / Blofeld arc in the novels and short stories actually do end up with him going through significant growth and personal change, ending with Smersh brainwashing him and sending him back to assassinate M…but then the British Secret Service intercepts him and a couple of paragraphs later he’s all better and off after The Man With The Golden Gun).

Modesty Blaise is a superhero.

Claire Starling is not a superhero, but Hannibal Lecter is (don’t give me that; even if you’re evil, when you’re the central character of a series of books / movies / TV shows you’re a damn superhero).

They’re all superheroes because they can’t lose and they can’t change their world and more importantly they can’t change themselves.

. . .

There is one exception to the above re superheroes, and that’s in the realm of sci- fi and fantasy stories.

Occasionally we find a character who becomes a king (viz Howard’s Kull) or a demi-god (viz Herbert’s Paul Atreides) and does alter their world for good or ill.

That, of course, is the ultimate power fantasy.

. . .

Fascism focuses on the Will and the Act.

It is a philosophy of movement.

It’s a philosophy that attracts the weak and the sadistic, because it promises protection from and power over others.

It’s a philosophy that actively seeks conflict, not necessarily overt violence, but the promise of same is always there.

. . . 

A brief sidebar to the other side of the comic book spinner rack.

Funny animals are essentially anti-authoritarian.

From Aesop forward to Carl Barks, their characters, filled with all too human foibles, can and do fail.

And when they win?

Ah, then it’s almost never by force or action, but by cleverness.

Funny animals are tricksters, accurately sussing out a situation and maneuvering to gain the best outcome for themselves without obtaining dominance over their opponent.

Bre’r Rabbit and Bugs Bunny.

Ducks Donald, Daffy, and Howard.

Superhero stories seems obsessed with keeping everything orderly and in continuity.

Without continuity, anything goes, and that’s fatal to the superhero trope as it annihilates authority.

Funny animal stories rarely feature continuity and when they do, it’s rarely rigorous.  If Porky Pig needs to be a businessman or a farmer or a studio executive or a traveling salesman, so be it.

He’ll be something else in the next story.

As tricksters, funny animals are bounded by one rule: They may save themselves and seek justice, but they will pay a penalty if they try to use trickery for selfish gain.

Howard the Duck -- “trapped alone and afraid / in a world he never made” -- is just trying to stay survive.

Daffy Duck -- greedy little miser that he is -- inevitably gets it in the neck when he tries to cheat someone.

Donald Duck -- floating somewhere between Howard and Daffy in his motivations -- finds no guarantee of success and reward, yet achieves success often enough to keep striving.  

He may battle mummies or a reluctant coke machine, his stories may take him around the world on an adventure or no further than his kitchen to fix dinner.

It doesn’t matter.

Who he is makes his stories compelling far more than what he does.

He’s not on a power trip.

He doesn’t feel he has to win every time.

And as a result, he has a much richer life than Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark.

. . . 

“So whaddya sayin’, Buzz?  ‘Superheroes is bad’?”

No.

I deny no one their pleasure.

But I also think there are times when we have to demand not just more of creators but of ourselves as an audience with the media we consume.

I only saw the first two scenes of the first episode of The Boys.

That was all it took to convince me not to watch it anymore.

For similar reasons, I have no desire to watch Mad Men or Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul or Game Of Thrones.  

I’ve picked up a strong enough vibe from each to know I’m not going to connect with them.

I’m certainly not saying you can’t enjoy them if you like.

Bu I am saying we’re cheating ourselves by not demanding more.

And until we start demanding more, the studios and streamers are only going to offer us less and less variety.

C’mon, people, we deserve more than that.

  © Buzz Dixon

  *  I’m sparing you a whole long analysis of The Mary Tyler Moore Show because frankly it goes too far afield of this essay’s central thesis and besides I can use it for another blog post in the future.

[gffa]

Hi! In my last ask you said you loved to talk so joke's on you, now I'm gonna flood you with questions xD There are a few things I'd like to have your thoughts on, from a nebie perspective. Here's the first one. Even when I hadnt' wathced the movies yet, I had inevitably heard a lot of negative things about the prequels. What are the reasons in your opinion? And since you are so positive about them, I would ask you to instead highlight some of their strongest points :)

Hello!  You act like I don’t mean it when I say I love to talk, but BOY DO I.  :DPrequels hate is one of those things that I think comes from a variety of places, so there are common trends, but we’re never going to be able to cover all the reasons every single person dislikes them, and I’m not even going to try.  These are going to be true for a lot of people, but there are going to be a bunch that have their own reasons that I’ve never thought much about–sometimes trash reasons, sometimes valid reasons.Mostly, it comes down to how they conduct themselves, that if someone just doesn’t like the prequels for whatever reason, but they’re perfectly kind to those who do, then their reasons are entirely valid for them and I have zero problem with them!  I have friends who aren’t really that keen on the prequels and we get along fine, because they’re sweethearts and I hope I can return even half as much civility.  (This applies to everything I like and someone else doesn’t.)That said, some of the biggest reasons people dislike the prequels, in my experience:- There’s a trend of people who really wanted Darth Vader to be a power fantasy character, to be an awesome badass, rather than a hot mess.  This tends to go hand in hand with people disliking the way Hayden Christensen played the character, because he was very attractive, because he was a whiny teenager, because he was an anxious mess, because he didn’t have this strong core identity.  I think this is part of the TCW!Anakin tends to be more popular with some people, because that Anakin does project himself better, Matt Lanter plays the character with a more polished voice and he’s more traditionally angry about stuff, instead of teary-eyed, fidgety angry that Hayden played him as.I’ve said this a bunch of times, but I think a lot of people disregard Hayden’s acting because they think Anakin is supposed to project this strong sense of self, that he should have a strong voice (literally and figuratively), that he should be clear-eyed and hold himself up well.  Instead, his voice is often thin and hesitant or arrogant and whiny, he fiddles with the hem of his sleeve, he paces back and forth, his lip wobbles when he cries.And this is a brilliant choice on Hayden’s part, imo, because ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS AN ANXIOUS HOT MESS.  That’s it, that’s who Darth Vader is.  Someone who had all this tremendous power, who believed he was more special than everyone else around him, who wanted to be more significant than everyone else, who was angry and confused and didn’t want to do the hard work of really looking at himself, that’s why all the theraputic suggestions in the galaxy weren’t helping, because he didn’t want to, that’s why his countenance on Mustafar is hard as hell to watch.  Because this isn’t someone breaking bad in an awesome way, this is a tragedy.  This is Anakin Skywalker, someone we care about, going over the edge in an ugly, uncomfortable way–and Hayden portrays that beautifully.I think a lot of people really didn’t want that, they wanted Baby Vader being some demon kid or they wanted him to be a badass who just sliced through everything with his lightsaber.  Not a young man who was so destroyed by the loss of his mother that he killed a bunch of villagers in a tearful rage and wanted to be soothed and absolved of it afterwards, instead of a HOLY SHIT THAT WAS BADASS moment, we got an awful, ugly moment in a way that we should think was awful and ugly.- George Lucas was always interested in pushing the boundaries of what was possible, which means that a lot of the stuff they were going (like the motion capture stuff, the background scenery CGI, etc.) are things that they had to create entirely new tech for, sometimes stuff that was so bleeding edge and so well done that they’re still using the same tech today.  But, because it was such new tech at the time, it doesn’t always age well.  Like, ROTS still looks really good, but even I, a staunch defender, have to admit that the TPM battle scenes are clearly very old and not nearly as integrated as they would be today.A lot of people judge the quality of the movies based on today’s standards, rather than taking them as part of the time they were from.  As well as a lot of people really like a more practical look effect and, honestly, they used THOUSANDS of practical effects and models in the prequels, they just look so much a part of the film that we often don’t notice.- I’ve heard this said before and I think it’s a good point–a lot of the problem for some people is that, for a long time, that’s all there was of Star Wars.  Right now, if you don’t like the sequels, you still have a ton of other stuff to be interested in, you can read in a whole bunch of other eras.  You can watch Rebels or watch The Clone Wars, if you don’t like Resistance, it’s not a big deal.  If you don’t like TFA and TLJ, you can just go read the Star Wars ongoing comic or the first Darth Vader series.  Right now, we can even read or listen to a bunch of prequels novels!People have calmed down a lot on the prequels, in part because those who enjoyed them as kids are growing up and getting a voice in media, and partly because those who really hated them now have other places to do.  “Eh, it’s not my thing, but it’s not the ONLY Star Wars coming out right now, so I guess it’s fine.”- When TPM first came out, there was a ton of love for it, it’s just that reviews on-line turned on it pretty quickly and started spinning stories about how it was fucking awful, and those voices grew so loud that that became the narrative.  There’s this idea that the prequels were failures or whatever, but in reality, if you look at the box office numbers (especially adjusted for inflation), they made plenty of money.  They’re all within the top 100 and, even without adjustment, TPM and ROTS made reasonably close to $1B each than anything.  And this was in a time before Marvel movies were a thing, where we’re kind of used to that happening, but it wasn’t always such a thing.- A lot of people dislike the dialogue and, hey, that’s fair, it’s not for everyone.  George Lucas himself said that he’s the kind of wooden dialogue, as well as a lot of people have noted that the movies are based on a style that’s out of step with modern audiences (George said this as well, iirc), and if you go watch a lot of stuff from the ‘30s and ‘40s, you can definitely notice a lot of parallels in the style of the prequels.It reads as stiff and awkward to a lot of people, so they think it’s bad (and that’s fair), but I think there’s a large element of that it’s a style that a lot of people just straight up don’t like.- One of the biggest problems is that the movies were made for kids, not for the people who used to be kids when the original came out and they didn’t like that the movies hadn’t grown up with them in the same way.  The hated podrace sequence and Jar Jar Binks are classic examples of this–a lot of adults haaaaaaate those things, but if you go around asking kids, suddenly a lot more of them could watch that podracing sequence ALL DAY LONG and never get bored, a lot more kids found Jar Jar genuinely funny.George Lucas has always been upfront about how the movies are intended for kids.  That’s not to say adults can’t enjoy them as well, they’re part of the audience too, but they’re very much movies that kept a younger audience in mind, and that frustrated a lot of people who had become adults themselves and wanted a more “adult” Star Wars.So, it comes down to a lot of different reasons that people don’t like the prequels, sometimes they’re fair (a difference of tastes, they’re out of step with modern audiences, the pacing isn’t always great, etc.) and sometimes they’re bullshit (wanting the movies to be something they weren’t and they’re inherently bad because Baby Vader wasn’t an awesome badass, but instead a crying hot mess with too much power).Here on tumblr, there’s a ton of love for the prequels, to the point that I forget sometimes that a lot of the rest of the world still falls into being kind of dicks about the movies.  But every so often, I’ll be listening to an entertainment podcast and they bash on the prequels or Anakin’s character, or even within fandom, someone will say that the acting was terrible or the dialogue was objectively terrible, and I remember, oh, yeah, that’s still a thing.Things are easier now, those who loved the movies are getting a voice in the media, there’s more stuff for non-fans to concentrate on instead if they don’t like them, there are more defenders now, more pockets to get lost in, but for awhile we all kind of had to be jammed together and that mean some voices were louder than others.  And that got perpetuated a lot so that’s what you heard.  “The prequels are bad.” was said over and over and over, until that became the only narrative that a lot of people heard.Whew, okay, that was long and there’s going to be plenty of other reasons that aren’t touched on, this isn’t meant to say non-fans are a monolith in their reasons why they don’t like them, etc.  But those are the major reasons I usually see.  But what do I love about the prequels?I love that the characters really spoke to me in a way I never expected.  I’ve dealt my whole life with anxiety, depression, and a difficult time really looking at myself and facing my inner demons.  I relate to Anakin Skywalker in so many ways, and even when I call him a garbage bag, it’s done with such affection because, I have been there, my guy.  I’ve struggled to really learn to let go of things, to make peace with a lot of the shit in my head, so when the Jedi came along and actually had some really good advice about calming your tits before you hurt someone, that you had to have internal self-discipline to overcome a lot of the shit inside you, that spoke to me as well.  I strive to be a better person, to let go of the anger that consumed me and cost me years of my life and friendships.  I fell in love with Obi-Wan Kenobi, who is pretty much the best person in that entire galaxy, that he doesn’t have to be perfect to be wholly good.  And also he’s hilarious.  I fell in love with Padme, a woman who accomplished such great things in the galaxy, who could move metaphorical mountains, while still being internally fragile in a lot of ways, that her heart broke so badly, she just couldn’t keep living.  I’ve been there, too.I am IN LOVE with the worldbuilding of the prequels–the worlds of the prequels are, honestly, the best of all the eras.  Coruscant is incredible, it’s easily my favorite planet.  But Naboo is gorgeous.  Getting to see a little of Alderaan is incredible.  Mustafar was INCREDIBLE to see.  Geonosis and Kashyyyk are incredibly cool to look at!  I kind of want to legit take a walk on Felucia and see all the flora.  Kamino and Utapau look amazing, too.  Umbara and Dathomir and Malastare and Mandalore and Christopsis and Cato Nemoidia and Mon Calamari all look amazing when we get to see them, too.And I’m in love with the more fleshed out politics of the era because it feels like they actually have impact and weight there.  Politics has always been part of Star Wars, but we really don’t see it that much in the Rebellion era and not even that much in the Resistance/First Order era.  We may get more of it as the New Republic is explored more (like we do in the Aftermath books) and I’ll be fascinated then, but the prequels went hard on politics and, yeah, a lot of people disliked them, but I think looking around at our current day setting kind of proves just HOW INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT POLITICS ARE.If nothing else, I love the prequels just for the Jedi Temple and Jedi Aesthetics, give me ALL THE WARM SUNLIGHT CORRIDORS, the sheer sense of peace and harmony radiating off that place, all the incredible art and design touches in pretty much everything, the ceremonial dance combat we see the younglings do in TCW, the giant open hallways and verandas, the star map that shimmers into view, the robes that actually look super soft, the gardens that are probably everywhere in that place, GOD, I JUST WANT TO GO THERE, LET ME IN, LET ME IIIIIIIIIINNNNNN.I love the prequels unreservedly because it was the point where I felt like the galaxy was really a genuinely huge galaxy, it’s the place I get the best sense of scale of how massive everything really is, and it’s the part where I love the pieces and the characters the most.  I think the potential–and sometimes even the realization of that potential on-screen–is the most and it’s the place where I want to play with the world and the characters the most, it’s full of hilarity and seriousness, tragedy and hope, good people making their way through a shitty universe, but still trying to help as many people as they can, and my favorite dumpster fire of a character that I could spend all day analyzing and digging into the reasons why he chooses to do things and never get tired of ANY OF IT.Honestly, this is not necessarily a great list of Why The Prequels Are Great, mostly because *waves hand at the general mess that is my blog* pretty much this whole thing here is my ongoing attempt to put it into words and pictures why love this corner of the GFFA so much.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

ASM v5 #14/815 Thoughts

SPOILERS

Unfortunately this is another issue I’m not that thrilled with, just like last time and just like my problems with issue #2. However in case you didn’t recall I actually somewhat re-evaluated my thoughts on issue #2.

 My criticisms of issue #2 still stand but I’m a little more accepting in this issue when it comes to perhaps the most controversial aspect of the story, the Lizard family.

 When you really look at Spencer’s run over all thus far there is very much a through line about second chances; rather appropriate for the guy who wrote Secret Empire.

Peter and MJ have a second chance. Peter’s education is being given a second chance. Peter is giving Felicia and Jameson and Boomerang a second chance.

Peter knows Connors is not a bad person, knows his acts of evil occurred under influence of the Lizard over whom he has had little control and Peter has shown sympathy towards him and similar people (e.g. Vermin) who’ve done truly horrific things because of those animalistic personalities their possess.

So Peter giving Curt a second chance when he seems to be in control, seems to have some version of his old life back and is trying to make amends (and has actively sought to help him personally) I think is believable.

And if Peter feels that way I think MJ has enough faith in him to give it a second try too.

Problems crop up when it comes to the Martha and Billy clones though.

Remember these people were Peter and MJ’s friends! They went out together they went to Billy’s birthday. They mourned their deaths.

Seeing them alive and mutated should be a BIG deal and it’s treated with unrealistic blasé casualness.

It’d be one thing if the Connors and Parkers were not close and they merely intellectually knew these guys were clones. From that POV you could argue Peter and Mj are just trying to be polite and recognize that if Curt is healthier and happier with these clones whom he treats as the real deal then what harm is there in just leaving the topic alone and accepting them.

But...that’s not the case. MJ and Martha were friends, Peter knew Billy and found his mutilated dead body. Seeing them both alive and mutated and knowing their not the real versions of the characters should emotionally affect them both, it should make them feel uncomfortable on some level.

 If nothing else that’s a fascinating moment to explore. But instead we smash cut to them all hanging out in the sewers having dinner together as though it was nothing.

 Now sure this is more of Spencer’s comedy sensibilities coming in because that visual and that scenario is innately absurd.

 But it’s an instance where the humour and absurdity really takes you out of the story. Both for the reasons I spoke about above and also because frankly...this moment just doesn’t belong in a Spider-Man story.

 Spencer has been so much better than Slott at keeping Spider-Man grounded and although wacky things have happened they’re been much more forgivable or served a deeper point. Normally I’d lambast splitting Peter and Spider-Man into 2 separate people as too wacky for Spider-Man, but because it served the purposes of character reconstruction it wound up being great.

 Here though its just absurd and aggressively unrealistic for a Spider-Man story for no deeper purpose. Not just the visual of a family of Lizard people chowing down with the Parkers but also the fact that they’re literally in a sewer doing it and everyone is so casual about it.

 It’s just...stupid and ruins your immersion in the story. Its too absurd a thing for readers to just take on face value in a Spider-Man story, like a Ninja Turtles story, maybe an F4 story maybe, but this no.

Especially with MJ of all people casually climbing into a sewer for dinner. I’m not saying MJ is a delicate flower nor someone who can’t go low rent when she needs to but like there is accepting the low rent option and then there is this lady who is glamorous to a certain extent and likes being so willingly climbing into a friggin sewer to eat with a reforming cannibal lizard person and lizard clones of 2 dead people. Sorry, suspension of disbelief doesn’t stretch that far.

 Another reductive aspect of the story is the continual looming shadow of Parker Industries. As mentioned in older posts we need to either properly address and fix this so nobody mentions it again or else just hardcore ignore it, not bring it up as a legitimate story element but also kind of ignore it too.

 You also have the bullshit ‘mid-twenties’ line which is absolutely untrue and you should just No. Prize a reason for MJ to say that.

 But other than that I’ve got nothing bad to really say about this issue. Nothing at all. Really. Nothing. It’s all absolu-...well you know there is one teeny tiny thing.

 THE ART IS UTTERLY TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 You know, I re-read some 1990s Generation X comics recently along with their Age of Apocalypse counterparts, Generation Next. And the art in the latter was weaker than the former for sure.

 But holy crap both of them looked sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better than Shed which itself looked soooooo much better than this hot garbage.

 Bachalo’s art is at least readable in this story in ways it often was not in Shed but nevertheless it looks so scruffy and sketchy and just plain ugly.

 I never thought I’d MISS Humberto Ramos but my God. There are points where people faces in the distance look like they’ve got just dots for eyes and dashes. Everyone is so off model and unattractive and the art over all is grey, dark, washed out. A gross contrast to the art by Ramos and Ottley.

 Its not even like the change is in service of a major tonal shift or anything. The tone of the story thus far isn’t grimer or darker than what we had before. We didn’t go into the sewers because we’re dealing with some grim and gross story, we went there for absurdity.

 I mean there is a REASON Ottley did the cover for this issue and why the Spider-Office pulled out some stock art by Paolo Rivera for next issue’s cover. Its because they were acutely aware that anyone looking at Bachalo on the stands would never pick up these books on impulse.

 It doesn’t help when we reuse some stock art by Ottley for one of the recap panels. That one panel is better than the rest of the art in the book.

 Although it raises another potential criticsm. Even during Spencer’s debut arc we saw art recycled a little (Black Cat from issue #1 was reused later as Peter’s phone picture for her). And the prior 2 issues reused art as well as I recall. Now those aren’t that big of a deal but here it again takes you out of the book because Ottley is at least reusing his own art who’s style therefore matches up. Here Bachalo doesn’t match us at all and it comes off as lazy.

 Now there were GOOD things in the issue too.

 Peter and Mj together, talking.

 Resolving the Rhino’s seeming return to villainy from older issues.

 Aunt May being feisty and perhaps for the first time calling out a male suitor.

 The clever safety device Peter gave her, even if it is perhaps too sci-fi.

 Furthering along the Taskmaster/Black Ant/Kraven and ESU subplots in a very organic way.

 Spencer at least addressing why Aunt May isn’t rolling in the money after her rich husband died.

 Aunt May’s kindness

 Spider-Man and Rhino’s newfound friendship/working relationship.

I don’t wanna say this is a bad issue but also...it has got genuinely bad things IN it....

[mrsspidermanmaryjanewatsonparker]

Let’s debunk this hot trash

“Part of the problem in front of Marvel Comics is the Marvel Universe is one long, mostly-unbroken line since its inception in 1961's Fantastic Four #1. There have been retcons, changes, tweaks, and cuts, but by and large it's a straight run. The universe has seen a number of resets, but it's mostly been returned to the state that long-time fans are comfortable with.”

Why is this a problem? Marvel is the highest selling comic book company in America and the long continuity is objectively not a problem.

It’s just something people incorrectly claim is a problem.

By the 1990s Marvel already had shittons of complicated continuity that had been going longer than most other long running franchise stories.

The readers back then jumped on ship just fine.

The AMOUNT of continuity you have is never the problem it’s how you manage it. In the days where every issue was treated as someone’s first and made accessible the amount of continuity was never a problem.

“Marvel Comics as a whole and the current creative stewards of its characters have to roll with 57 years of punches. They have to take the good and the bad. In the case of Spider-Man, the current writers, artists, and editors have to occasionally tackle the fact that Peter Parker hit his wife, made a deal with Mephisto to wipe out his marriage, or that Gwen Stacy had sex with Norman Osborn. ”

They don’t HAVE to deal with any of that.

They already dealt with the first of those things and simply SHOULD deal with the other two by erasing them.

But it’s also not like the presence of those things (sans OMD) is a huge hamper on the storytelling abilities or sales of the writers.

“Many of these are moments that readers and creators would simply like to forget, but they're a part of the fabric of the character. ”

Yes and welcome to ‘This is how a dramatic character on serialized fiction’ works.

“With Marvel's Spider-Man for PlayStation 4, Insomniac Games had the chance to start from scratch. They get to pick and choose what works for their version of Peter Parker and his alter-ego. The only backstory he brings to the table is that which Insomniac has carefully considered. This allows the team to drop the facets of Spider-Man that maybe didn't work and play around with some new ideas that might be better. And if Marvel's smart, they should steal some of what Insomniac Games did here.”

Why?

Insomniac already stole from Marvel.

Sales and storytelling potential for Spider-Man is NOT hampered by large continuity or even negative patches of it for the most part.

When bad stories happen so long as they are fixed then things get to move on. Even something as bad as Sins Past isn’t overly a drag because the story itself is so nonsensical it might as well not be canon, people have isolated and ignored it and the scope of the damage it can cause is fairly limited, it doesn’t really cut to the heart of the franchise. The time he hit his wife on the other hand was dealt with and moved on from.

So the existence of bad patches doesn’t really matter. Doctor Who has had no end of bad stories merely in it’s TV incarnation (to say nothing of it’s plethora of spin-off media which are all canon to varying degrees) and all those things still happened. But the show is still going strong and hit stratospheric popularity in the mid-late 2000s and early 2010s.

Hell the Simpsons is still going despite there being at least 20 years of mediocre-bad stories.

“I'm going to be honest. I'm not a huge fan of Mary Jane Watson. I don't necessarily have a problem with the character, but I've never really been a fan either. The marriage of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson was done on a whim and many writershated it at the time.”

Oy vey this shit again.

The marriage was not done on a whim. Stan Lee, the creator of Spider-Man wanted it to happen and EIC Jim Shooter decided to synch it up with the comics.

At the time Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz had been building up to Peter and MJ’s wedding with the intention of her jilting him.

But the build up from them, and other writers like Peter David, was still there.

Only the outcome changed.

As for this ‘many writers hated it’ thing, the article links to ONE writer’s opinion on the subject.

If we actually look at the majority of Spider-Man writers to have written for Spider-Man during and after the marriage we see most of them were okay or neutral on the subject.

David Michelinie wasn’t thrilled with it, but he came on side eventually. Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz were the same. Matt Fraction wasn’t too sure about it but wasn’t innately against it either. Nick Spencer clearly liked it. Howard Mackie has given statements indicating he was against it at a time but might over all be neutral. Roberto Aguirre Sacasa has never said anything on the subject to my knowledge but his work implies he’s supportive of it. Mark Millar has never said anything on the subject. J.M. DeMatteis, J. Michael Straczynski and Peter David have been outright supportive of it, as was probably Todd McFarlane, Jodie Houser and for sure artist Ryan Stegman.

Oh and Stan Lee the creator of Spider-Man. Let’s not leave him out.

Compared to that we have Roger Stern, Terry Kavanagh, John Byrne, Paul Jenkins, Gerry Conway and Jim Owsley who were against it.

Conway’s opposition was possibly due to his going through a divorce at the time. Stern’s opposition was based upon his idea of MJ being stuck in the Silver Age but he wasn’t innately opposed to Spider-Man marrying in general. Jim Owsley on his linked to blog (where he routinely lies, including claiming Ron Frenz was potentially suicidal when he never was) had a stupid sexist rationale for disliking the marriage. John Byrne is creepy shithead who would’ve preferred Spider-Man was dating underage girls anyway and along with Terry Kavanagh never wrote a good Spider-Man story in his life. In Kavanagh’s case he never even wrote a good story in his life.

So of all those people only Paul Jenkins dislike of it wasn’t unjustified. But he was an outlier.

Every other writer either liked it, was neutral on it, disliked it for nonsensical reasons or didn’t know about good storytelling in the first place to make citing them worth a damn in the first place.

And aside from aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of this...does the author realize Peter and MJ’s relationship and MJ’s whole character doesn’t begin and end in the years they were married?

Like he talks about their marriage as though this being bad proves their relationship and her character is bad when there was 20+ years of MJ prior to that.

“I think Peter has had better love interests over the years, including Gwen Stacy. ”

And the author would be wrong.

Gwen Stacy is neither better nor more interesting that Mary Jane.

That’s why THEY KILLED HER!

“Part of that is giving Mary Jane something to do. She's been a model and an actress, but the books were always more concerned with the superheroics, so you never really got the chance to feel her drive there. She was a nightclub owner, but again, the same problem persisted. ”

Except Spider-Man stories ARE NOT MORE CONCERNED WITH THE SUPERHEROICS!

My God. How the fuck can someone have read any number of Spider-Man stories and not realized, oh yeah, the book is about Peter’s life over all and his normal life is as if not MORE important than whoever he is punching this month.

By this logic Harry Osborn, Aunt May, Flash Thompson and literally every supporting cast member who isn’t J. Jonah Jameson or like Ashley goddam Kafka, is a better supporting character than Mary Jane.

Mary jane doesn’t have to be involved in the superhero side of Peter’s life because the Spider-Man series isn’t about that. It’s about his life in general and sometimes one blurs over into the other but not always and frankly if you go by the classic stories not even most of the time.

That’s why on the occasions where such things did happen it was a big deal.

“Other than supporting Peter Parker, what did Mary Jane Watson really want? ”

To be an actress

To be taken seriously as more than a model

To support her sick cousin

To earn a psychology degree

To avoid commitment

“Sometimes she just wanted Peter to not be Spider-Man anymore, which is a downer of a conflict.”

This is another lie.

The ONLY times during which Mary jane didn’t want Peter to be Spider-Man were during the Clone Saga when she was pregnant, he’d retired and Ben Reilly was the new Spider-Man and new main character (meaning there was no issue there) or during the Mackie/Byrne reboot where she was being written deliberately out of character as an act of sabotage.

Unless the author meant like in specific stories where Peter was injured and she didn’t want him to go off and be Spider-Man at that moment or in that specific context, as opposed to wholesale retiring. At which point...how is this a downer conflict? It’s a starkly realistic and emotionally justified conflict in a series built off the back of realistic emotions because Spider-Man is a human drama and soap opera FFS!

“Sometimes, things are good... ...sometimes, they're not.

Go to the article itself and notice the second image the author uses.

If you’ve ever encountered similar lines of anti-MJ/anti-marriage argument before those panels, that artwork or stuff similar to it might strike you as familiar.

Why?

Because it’s from the exact same story. Maximum Carnage.

Every asshole who tries to make this argument uses Maximum Carnage, one of the worst Spider-Man stories over all to bolster their claims. The repetition of scenes from this story (and usually the same scene) is telling because it’s either cherry picking from a notoriously bad story and pretending like it represented a norm (and removes it from important context FYI) or...these people don’t know what they are talking about and just parrot one another with the same examples.

“Over in the Ultimate Comics line, writer Brian Michael Bendis would give Mary Jane a career choice that dovetails well with superheroes: journalist. See, the reason DC Comics' Lois Lane works is her driving motivation—to be the best investigative journalist in the world—puts her on a path to run into Clark Kent and Superman. ”

Yeah and the problem is that MJ worked as well for decades even when she wasn’t a journalist. Shit she worked for the majority of Ultimate Spider-Man’s run prior to her becoming a journalist!

Yeah, remember that tiny piece of vital information the author conveniently ignored. For MOST of Ultimate Spider-Man’s 10 year tenure with Peter Parker as the lead character Mary Jane wasn’t a journalist!

Shit, she worked for her school paper so the idea that it made her involvement in heroics more organic is pretty bullshit.

More importantly prior to her journalist job Ultimate MJ’s role and function within the narrative was strikingly similar to her 616 married counterpart!

“Her intense curiosity and lack of self-preservation makes her endearing; the audience knows what she wants and the lengths she'll go to get it.”

And MJ’s goofy deameanor at times, inner strength, sociable nature, insecutirs, struggles with guilt and commitment make her endearing.

“So Insomniac decided to take the Ultimate version of Mary Jane and play it up to Lois Lane levels. She's an investigative journalist at the Daily Bugle searching for more on the recently-arrested Wilson Fisk. Her own adventures put her on the path to meeting with Spider-Man. You get that moment where they're both asking, "What are you doing here?" and you realize there's old, unmentioned romantic history. MJ already knows Peter is Spider-Man and she's fine with that side of his life. ”

And it works great...in a video game setting where you truly are spending 90% of your time in the middle of action and the plot needs to be entirely in service of that plot.

But in the context of a comic book more about the normal lives of the characters than revolving around superheroics and starring the most famous character (who’s clad in red and blue) of one of the two biggest companies in the world MJ as a journalist would die on it’s ass because it WOULD just be derivative of Lois Lane.

I mean Jesus Christ people also deride Black Cat and Norman Osborn for being derivative of Catwoman and Norman Osborn even though they deviate in big ways. But if Spider-Man major love interest/wife literally also became an investigative journalist and primarily interacted with Spider-Man (at least within the context of the main plot) within that role it would literally just be Lois Lane.

“This Mary Jane's problem is one of equal partnership. She's a great, inventive journalist. Sure, she could die on an investigation, considering where she decides to focus her talent, but in her mind, that's no different from a police officer or firefighter dying in the line of duty. The truth is important. This flips the dynamic a bit; her problem is that Peter doesn't acknowledge that she's also right where she needs to be. She's his equal, even if she doesn't have fancy Spider-powers. ”

  MJ was Peter’s equal in the comics too.

 Being someone’s equal as a person doesn’t mean doing the same job as them, working in the same line of work or directly contributing to the superhero action.

 You just need to be an equal in your personality and agency which in-universe MJ has had.

 This is to say nothing of how by this logic Alfred, Batman’s FATHER FIGURE, is not his equal or how Ganke Lee in Miles Morales comics wouldn’t really be HIS equal either or how, again, Spider-Man stories do not innately codify the superheroics as MORE important than the normal life stuff.

  “It's a great change.”

 Yes it is, in the context of a video game.

  “This Mary Jane is funny, a bit headstrong, and leaps sometimes before she looks. ”

 You mean just like comic book Mary Jane.

 “ Comic Mary Jane has many of these facets, but it's tough to get a grasp on what she really wants outside of Peter. ”

 Unless you’ve literally read the issue immediately after Peter meets her where she makes it clear she wants to be an actress. Or read any comic in the interim where she wants to have financial security, be taken seriously, reconcile with her family, indulge in/get over her commitment issues, help her cousin, learn psychology, etc.

 “Journalism doesn't have to be the answer, but there needs to be one that intersects with the lives of Peter and Spider-Man. ”

 No there doesn’t. In the real world couples jobs don’t have to intersect. Many of Peter’s supporting cast members do not have jobs that intersect with his life outside of the fact that they are his friends and/or family. This is true of other heroes too.

 MJ being Peter’s friend/girlfriend/wife is enough of a reason for her to intersect in his life and be featured in this stories, beyond that she can be given subplots of her own just like many other characters had.

 Two of the best subplots in Spider-Man involved Flash Thompson. One of them was his and Betty Brant’s affair and the other was his struggles with alcoholism. These were problems that for the longest time Peter wasn’t even aware of but they were compelling and entertaining unto themselves because Flash was a great character and we cared because he was Peter’s friend. However these stories also at no point ever really involved Spider-Man’s life. It was strictly confined to the problems of Peter Parker’s world.

 MJ’s job can be much the same.

 MJ’s normalacy is in fact a MAJOR reason why so many fans love her so much and why so many people love Spider-Man himself.

 Why make her more like Lois and her dynamic like that of Lois and Superman, those two characters who famously are awesome but also not as relatable as Spider-Man and MJ!

  “With Insomniac's Mary Jane, everything just clicks into place.”

 As would it for comic book MJ if you bothered to pay attention.

 “The problem here is Marvel never sat down and explained how this worked. Again, Peter's death was the impetus for Miles becoming Spider-Man. In the Ultimate comics, he had the powers long before he actually put on the costume. Miles' creator Brian Michael Bendis never sat down and explained the new backstory before he jumped over to DC Comics. We don't know the specifics of why this version of Miles took up the mantle, the question of his motivations always remains a bit fuzzy.”

  No it isn’t. Miles wasn’t REBOOTED into the 616 universe. He was integrated in with everyone’s memories altered around.

 His backstory was the same as in the Ultimate Universe he just literally, physically migrated over.

 Miles motivations were thus the same albeit undermined from a creative POV.

 “When the title of Spider-Man was passed on in the Ultimate universe, that made sense. But the question the Prime universe needs to answer now is: Why do they share the title? ”

 Because that was Miles’ chosen title and Peter gave his blessing for it and on a meta-level it is intended to represent how anyone can be Spider-Man.

 “Peter has offered it to Miles, but why does this version of Miles want it in return?”

  Because Ultimate Peter died and Miles wanted to honour him.

 It isn’t the case of he just ALWAYS existed in this universe. You cannot time travel back like 15 years into the 616 Marvel universe and locate baby Miles Morales He literally, physically doesn’t exist there.

 “That's really why these new versions of the characters work. I can see what they offer Peter and what he offers them in return. ”

 Comic book MJ offered Peter a human connection, a friend, a confidant, someone to support him and companionship.

 Why does she need to offer any more than that when in real life no one is hinging their deeper relationships upon the basis of what that person does for them in terms of their jobs or hobbies.

  “And that facet is sometimes missing in the Marvel Comics iteration. ”

 No it isn’t.

 “I see what they offer Peter, but sometimes it's hard to see what they get out of the relationship.”

 MJ gets a friend, companion, someone who understands and supports her, someone who helps emotionally fulfil her and make her a better person and sometimes someone who can help her in times of emotional and physical crises.

 “Great artists steal, Marvel. The comic publisher is already bringing Insomniac's Spider-Man into the the universe with the upcoming Spider-Geddon crossover (shown below). Now it's time to steal certain facets of the storytelling for the universe. Marvel Comics is stuck with the millstone of continuity around its neck, but that doesn't mean there aren't new directions the company can move Spider-Man and his amazing friends toward. ”

 Marvel has never rebooted it’s history since 1961.

 DC has done so in varying ways 5 or 6 times.

 Marvel outsells DC.

 Of all iconic characters owned by DC, Batman’s history has altered the least from one reboot into the next.

 Batman outsells every other DC character.

 In the 1980s Marvel fans had no access to the internet, few information books or other resources and few reprints with which to catch up upon the 20-25 years worth of history for the characters and of the few resources they did have not everyone had access to them.

 Marvel comics sold more physical copies back then than they do now.

 The highest selling Marvel titles of the 1980s and 1990s were the X-Men related titles which had objectively the most complicated, convoluted and least accessible .

 So STFU about too much continuity oh my God!

[magma-paint]

My attempt to summarize my thoughts on every Ozzy and Drix episode (Quick Reviews)

Star ranking indicates episode quality, Medal ranking indicates my enjoyment. May do full reviews in the future. Ready? Go

Home With Hector: Not a bad introduction for the series, but the circumstances in which it kicks off (universe rebooted so events of film never happened) are confusing. 3.5/5 stars, Bronze Ranking

Reflex: Not bad for getting the show off the ground, but it doesn’t do anything special. That moment of “Ozzy, no!/Ozzy, yes!” was pretty good though. 3.5/5 Stars, Bronze ranking

Strepfinger: Quite frankly the best episode in the series. Animation quality kept consistent, interesting plot, and all the James Bond references. All of them. 5/5 stars, Gold Ranking

A Lousy Haircut: The character plot and health plot are noticeably separate from each other, but it’s nice to see when the primary focus is on developing characters (focusing on Drix here). Also introduced my favorite character in the series, The Mole. 4/5 stars, Silver Ranking

Oh My Dog!: Back to intertwining the plots and great character interaction. Loses points heavily because They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot (that’s not how allergies work, you numpty!). 3/5 stars, Silver Ranking

Street Up!: A good Drix episode, but kinda overdoes the naïvety in regards to learning how to be more street smart. Good humor in here, but I have to ask one thing about Hector’s mom in regards to her white lipstick... 4/5 Stars, Silver Ranking

Gas of Doom: First episode of the series I ever saw, and it still holds up nicely. Although now that I’m older, some of the animation does bug me (ranging from consistent to attempted anime framerate). 4/5 Stars, Bronze Ranking

Where There’s Smoke: Aside from some glaring animation errors (how is Hector watching himself walk away from the situation in the last 2 minutes?), this is just what you’d think of for an Ozzy and Drix episode. Plus Tim Curry and his villain song is a fantastic component. 4/5 Stars, Gold Ranking

The Globfather: Aside from Spryman, this episode wasn’t too bad. Gotta love the mobster bacteria, though. Also, this is probably where the humans are attempted to look just as cartoony as the microorganisms. 4/5, Bronze Ranking

Ozzy, Jr.: NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE SO MUCH NOPE! (If it weren’t for The Mole and the last 30 seconds of this episode, this would’ve gotten the lowest medal possible: Crap) 3.5/5 Stars, Trash Ranking

Growth: I’m not even going to ATTEMPT to try and review this one until the political dumpster fire on both sides (but mostly the left) dies down exponentially. Ratings and Ranking withheld.

Sugar Shock: Okay, the message is a bit hamfisted, but god damn the humor once The Mole showed up really makes it shine. Only other things holding the episode back was the animation in some places and the fact this is the last time we ever see our Russian microbe. 4/5 stars, Gold Ranking

The Dream Factory: A very humor filled episode, but it knows when to be serious about lack of sleep. If this series got a remake, I’d more like to see the dreams in different animation styles (but considering the animation errors in places, maybe not). 5/5 stars, Gold Ranking

Out of Body Experience: There’s actually so much to talk about in this episode that I think I have no choice but to give it its own review. But if there is one slight against it, god DAMN is the animation inconsistent (either flows the way it should, or attempts to emulate the threes anime runs on and fails horribly). 8/10 Stars (3.5/5 Part 1, 4.5/5 Part 2), Gold Ranking

Lights Out!: Now this was an interesting plot, what with Ozzy and Drix having to resort to teaming up with a known criminal to avoid capture by everyone hit with amnesia, and the tension is fantastic. 5/5 stars, Gold Ranking

Conqueror Worm: If this isn’t a clear message to properly cook your pork, I don’t know what is. Good story and tension, but that climax... My suspension of disbelief can only go so far. 4/5 stars, Silver Ranking

Puberty Alert: While interesting seeing Jones, Drix, and Maria deal with a testosterone gang that acts like your stereotypical gang of frat boy hooligans, the message of this episode is particularly confusing. If anything, this is probably where the show could get a third season, but on Adult Swim instead of Cartoon Network. This is where the heavy sh1t comes in or should come in. 3.5/5 Stars, Bronze Ranking

Tricky Ricardo: Ex-squeeze me? Did this show just throw a relatable episode at me considering my relationship with my dad when I was in late elementary school appears to mirror Maria’s relationship with her brother? You bet your ass it did. 5/5 Stars, Platinum Rating

Auntie Histamine: Probably where the Dork Age kicks in, if only in the animation department (you start with 3 straight minutes of footage from the film and some parts have inconsistent animation). I also realize Auntie Histamine is me when I try too hard to crack jokes around people, and yet I kinda want to see more of her. 3/5 Stars, Bronze Ranking

A Growing Cell: This episode saw the confused message of Puberty Alert and said “Hold my beer!”. Not just a confused message, but a hamfisted one as well. This episode also seems to have a continuity hiccup, as this is where Backseat is introduced DESPITE appearing in the two previous episodes. And the inflation fetishes this fueled... 2.5/5 Stars, Trash Ranking

A Cold Day in Hector: Biggest Problem: THAT’S NOT HOW HYPOTHERMIA WORKS, YOU NUMPTY! The writing also seems messy as a result, which really ruins the tension it focuses on. But I loved Cryo’s design and I’m just a sucker for winter episodes in general. Guilty pleasure. 2.5/5 Stars, Silver Ranking

Triumph of the Supplements: A hammy, loving jab/take on all the superhero tropes and where the health and character plots intertwine greatly. The animation seems to be back up to consistency again. 5/5 Stars, Gold Ranking

Double Dose: Purely an Ozzy episode. While it does borrow from Reflex’s plot, it’s actually kind of interesting to see Jones versus himself. And considering mitosis at work, I can let the duplicate character model slide. Not sure if this episode’s anthem should be Weird Al’s “I Think I’m a Clone Now” or “Lookalike” from the Sonic OVA. 5/5 Stars, Gold Ranking.

Nature Calls: The closest thing to a Slice of Life episode we’re going to get. Tension from the appendicitis is a bit lopsided in its pacing, and the less I say about the framing/composition of some scenes, the better. 4/5 Silver Ranking

Journey to the Center of the Tooth: Quite frankly the weakest episode to end the series on in the sense that it leaves you wanting to see more adventures, but there are no more to come out. Plus, the Drix plot and the cavity plot don’t seem to collaborate very well (I know how they mesh together, but both seem to be fighting for attention). 3.5/5 Stars, Bronze Ranking

By the way, I was derping around on Amazon one time and there is now a DVD release of the series available for 30 bucks.

[animeride-blog]

Dragonball Super Episode 106 Review [ RANT ] https://animeride.com/blogs/6307/dragonball-super-episode-106-review-rant/ #Beerus, #DragonBallSuper, #Gohan, #Goku, #MasterRoshi, #Piccolo, #Tien, #Universe7, #Vegeta, #ZenSama

New Post has been published on https://animeride.com/blogs/6307/dragonball-super-episode-106-review-rant/

Dragonball Super Episode 106 Review [ RANT ]

Hey guys, How are you today  If you want to find a way to absolutely shit on a fanbase then look no further than this pile of manure right here. The way they managed to bury Tien was magical with so many details and layers you would think he had killed one of the writer’s Grandmas.

Story

This episode begins with the exciting new character Dr. Rota who apparently has a special ability that will destroy Gohan and Piccolo. But before he can do so is quickly destroyed by a blast and squashed making his character absolutely useless which I have to admit Super is very good at doing. Realizing they are out in the open both our heroes begin to discuss a strategy against this apparent Sniper. But before they can really do anything are hit by one of his shots thanks to a reflective red orb and Piccolo has his arm taken off. We soon see that these red orbs are shot by this huge red tub of lard and the Snipers blasts go through him and the orbs which our heroes soon realize with teamwork. Creating a smokescreen Gohan and Piccolo slowly put together the pieces of this puzzle but are attacked as even with the smokescreen can be seen with heat seeking eyes. Even after this the two still continue to stand there and get shot at once again which transitions to more repeat Animation starring Zeno and The Grand Priest repeatedly.

Finally we get the star of this episode Tien who quickly warns Goku and Vegeta to get down to which the latter brushes off before nearly getting his ass blasted to oblivion . Back with father and son Piccolo now knows what it feels like to lose both his arms because him and Gohan didn’t dodge. Having a brilliant idea Piccolo and Gohan heat up the area around them to fool the red fuckers sight but immediately becomes useless as he now just shoots everyone all at once. Seeing the red guy is causing the reflections Goku and Vegeta go to stop him while Tien runs through the area like he’s Rambo. Blasting at the red ogre both Saiyans are surprised that he can reflect Ki even though they saw him do it 10 seconds ago. Guess Goku isn’t the only one to have brain damage. Lardass then proceeds to explain why he has trapped them and instead of using that time to run up and simply punch him or use a Kiai instead Goku and Vegeta go. “Damn we sure ran into that trap.”

We then learn the name of the Sniper Hermila who looks like a green Howard the Duck as he shoots out another wave of Ki. Seeing Hermila Tien creates four clones of himself and instead of using any protection or trying to sneak up on him as he hadn’t been paying attention to them. Tien instead decides to just run at the guy out in the open like he’s a main character and gets his ass destroyed tanking the attacks instead of actually trying to dodge them. Hell even FUCKING GOKU uses better strategy which simply amounts to chucking rocks at his opponent. Getting close enough to Hermila Tien uses a Tri-Beam and now has him dead to right. Now of course a smart fighter would still keep their guard up and take down their enemy quickly before they can try anything else. What does Tien do? Walks right up to the guy and gives him a chance to fight back which ends with Tien and Hermila eliminating each other.

And the episode tries to hide this burial of Tien who let me remind you is a master strategist and Martial Artist who has fought for decades and has his own school yet got eliminated like a fucking amateur yet the show tries to hide this by having Beerus be impressed which just devalues the Roshi moment from last episode as it just makes the guy look like he would respect you if you managed to wipe your ass. Hell even Vegeta basically sums up Tiens worth in this Arc in three words when Goku comments on his elimination. “It doesn’t matter.” And then both Rota and the red guy who never got a name reveal are eliminated ending this shit episode. This episode managed to ruin any goodwill I gained after Episode 105.

The story was absolute filler, offered no development for any character, and only managed to waste everyone’s time and effort who bothered to watch this shitty episode or make this episode. For the writers who made this episode you deserve to be fired for this travesty in every sense of the word. It feels like someone came up with this episode then after throwing it in the garbage because it was obviously an awful idea Toei dug it out of the trash and then decided to make it into an episode without creating a second draft to iron out the problems. Everything in this episode amounted to less than nothing and I can say with all my heart this episodes story manages to get my first a 0/10 it has no positives only negatives and if anyone has a problem with my rating than I challenge you to tell me what was the point of this episode besides nothing.

Characters

And if you believed the characters would fare much better oh ho ho ho boy are you wrong. This was apparently supposed to be Tiens crowning moment in this Tournament. That finally Tien one of my top 5 characters in this Arc would get his moment in the sun. Instead I watched Tien get sucked into a Black Hole as Toriyama is saying. “Lol you thought Tien was going to be portrayed well fuck that!” And then proceeded to kick me in the balls. Everything Tien did in this episode was as stupid. He charged at the Sniper of Universe 2 then proceeded to let his guard down and got eliminated like a chump. Somehow this episode about Tien had more screen time for Piccolo and Gohan who did nothing of value than the actual focus!

Goku somehow comes off smarter yet even him and Vegeta are idiots as they blasted at the guy who they saw reflect Ki and then didn’t try to punch him or use their other attacks but instead throw rocks. Gohan and Piccolo act both smart and incredibly stupid and any plan they came up with turned out to be absolutely useless making their presence in this Episode pointless. Hermila and the red tub of lard are nothing but fodder with no character and only serve to drag down the already piss poor characterization. Also Rota served no purpose and was just a waste of a possible cool ability. None of the characters are portrayed well and the only reason the antagonists get anywhere is because seems to act like morons instead of actual smart fighters with decades of experience. There were at least one or two neat points as while his plan failed Piccolo did come up with a pretty genius plan and I got a kick out of the rock throwing. So i’ll be a little generous and give this a 2/10.

Animation

Finally we come to the Animation as there was no Fighting in this one just people running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The Animation was laughable at best with characters being off model a good amount and them at times looking like circus freaks instead of actual people. Need I remind you of Vegeta’s Big Hands Mode or their faces looking just weird. It’s obvious not even the Animators care about this shitfest of an episode and that they just wanted to get it done. For any Animator working on this episode I do not blame you I pity that you had to waste your time and effort on making Animation for such a crappy product. I can only hope that you guys can go on to work for bigger and better things. Back to the Animation the explosions look pretty generic not really giving any feeling when someone gets hit as it just looks like the same damn explosion we’ve seen 300 times. The Animation isn’t bad just mediocre or below average at best which is probably the most positive thing about this episode as it earns a 4/10.

 Final Verdict

This episode was absolute garbage in almost every way imaginable except the Animation which even then isn’t exactly top notch. The story is pointless and only buries everyone in it, The characters look like morons and the antagonists for this episode have no character at all and only manage to come off as boring jobbers who should never have given our heroes so much trouble. This episode is quite possibly the worst Super episode and ranks up there with Episode 5, Episode 24, and Episode 67. I give this train wreck of an Episode a 2/10 it offers nothing of value and only misery.

Comment your opinions below … Did you like this garbage of an Episode ?