#But that requires doing dishes
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Bad news, guys. I gotta do dishes and there's a Lot and its very overwhelming
#day musings#I also really want hot cocoa and to make a chocolate cake#But that requires doing dishes#Or making MORE dishes to wash#which makes it worse#I am not sure. How to motivate myself#I also really want to see my jf#Thats unrelated#I just miss them
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nah man that’s not me sympathizing with the uhc ceo that’s simply being sexy as always and correct. everything reverts to the mean unless you boil the frog, and you’re proud of the fact that you don’t even know how to use the stove.
#hey uh did you know that systemic problems require systemic solutions and all policy is economic policy#this person tagged this with ‘scratched liberals’ but i don’t bleed. stop trying to get your fascist little nails in me#blacked out the other person’s url bc I don’t want them to get shooter discourse#everyone wants to save the world and no one wants to do the dishes#do them anyways.
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Today's desmond headcanon is that after he left the farm and got used to everyday life, he needs music or background noise to function. Anytime he is working, he has his earbuds or headphones on. This is because, as a kid, he was taught to always be aware of his surroundings and to really pay attention to the noise around him, and even though he left, he was never able to kick that habit. So if he doesn't have background noise, he hears EVERYTHING. The creak of the building, the neighbors getting a glass of water, the manager talking to the tenets down the hall, etc. And because he never truly felt like his apartment was his own, and like he was an outsider, every noise made his heart rate spike, like he was about to be caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do.
One time, his headphones and earbuds died, and he was unable to function and was on the verge of a panic attack the entire time.
#am i saying this because i am projecting right now#maybe...#me and desmond both need music#oh and he also hates making noise and had to learn how to be okay with existing#like he wears socks through the house to muffle his footsteps#and dreads doing anything that requires making noise#like doing the dishes or getting water#assassin's creed#desmond miles#silly desmond#desmond#desmond headcanons
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I'm cautiously gearing myself up for a conversation with bff where I tell her that we need to recalibrate our relationship, and....I genuinely don't think I've ever had a serious, emotional conversation with someone I care about before.
I've never been a Conversation Haver; I tend to take the approach that people can't significantly change without meaningful reason, and since I am not and never have been someone's Reason, I cannot prompt change. Therefore, my choices are (a) live with what is; or (b) end/limit the relationship.
But....this is my best friend in the world. I do love her. I just can't keep on as we've been going, where it's less a friendship and more ten minute intervals where I talk about my life, after which the focus switches. I once sat in a bar for two hours waiting for her; afterwards, she asked if I wanted to stay in her hotel room like I didn't have to get up in another 5 hours and drive to work. She texted me during my recent trips, and when I said I was traveling she asked no further questions. Said nothing unless it was about what she was reading, what she was doing. I'm not even sure she realized I was traveling at all, just unavailable to her.
I can give a high-level summary of her PhD thesis. I'm not confident she knows where I work.
Truthfully, part of this is that we simply have different social styles....but still. Coming back from my family trip, I said I was tired and trying to get work straightened out, she should go ahead and plan something for the holiday! I was free! Only for me to text a week later....and promptly have her join me, for my previously standalone plans. Oh, and she asked me to bring my camera, because she wants headshots for her new job.
I still love her very much, but if this is the kind of relationship we're going to have? I need less of it.
#I've been trying to script this conversation for two weeks.#doing dishes and talking to myself trying to get the wording right.#dumping my laundry in the washer and stating ''I know grad school requires a lot of self-focus but''#''and if this is all you feel comfortable doing now that's fine!'' I mutter to myself while vacuuming#''our relationship can adjust'' I sigh to my pillows at night. ''but I need to know that's what you want.''#(.......I didn't actually mind sitting the bar. the guy on the next stool over was a theoretical mathematician#working on cryptography. so it was a good conversation.#but that's my point! I can have a good conversation with anyone. I am a champion asker of questions.#I need bff to figure out how to ask me questions of me so occasionally I can be the one talking.)#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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the gung ho guns all have their dramatic and/or tragic reasons for working with Knives and then there’s Zazie who is, like, interviewing potential roommates
#a dozen sporks speaks#trigun#'who will you side with? plants or humans?'#'hmmm . . . tell me do either of you leave dishes in the sink overnight?'#also required: a short essay about how you intend to protect the planet's natural environment now and in the future#that is. will you do your part to keep the common areas tidy
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One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.
The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.
#simon says#i just developed a new habit (it's too tmi to put here) and I just know that it's some weird shit#it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it#but it's some shit that would end up viral where everyone would go 'yo op you should break up with them thats weird' 😔#i was just thinking about this though because every week or so I learn that I can just do what I want#because there's no fucking object use police I can do what I want#i HIGHLY suggest getting into this habit. if you find something annoying or frustrating you can just do it differently#'I hate washing the dishes because my legs hurt from standing for so long' you can bring a chair and sit or you can break it up into chunks#like on the one hand I'm learning this because I have autism and a plethora of other mental disorders#and it's FINALLY clicking that I can self accommodate whenever and however I so please#I'm just sorta learning that if doing something makes me feel better/happy/gets the job done to do that thing#even if it requires using an object in an odd way#hell there's even some little things I've been playing with#for example: my whole life we sorta just lifted blinds only about halfway up#just sorta how we did it ya know#well recently I decided I wanted more natural light in the sunroom/my office so I wouldn't have to turn on the lamp#and I lifted the blinds all the way up to the very top#and honestly?? it fucking rules. the room looks nicer; i get natural light; i can see the forest out back and it's quite calming and nice#like for ages I just never thought about doing that because it just never occurred to me that I could#i just always put blinds about halfway up because that's about how high blinds do in my household#another little one I learned is that I can just... wash my hair#sometimes when I get too depressed or if my body doesn't need a shower but my hair is greasy#I just shove my head under the bathtub facet and wash my hair#it's just a small thing but for years if my hair needed to be washed I would just take a full shower#now I just fix my greasy hair. bc greasy hair is a huge ick for me but sometimes my body is still clean or im too tired to fully shower#like there's nothing stopping me from doing that and it doesn't hurt anyone. it's just a way of bathing that I wasn't taught#but yeah those are some recent examples of me learning I can just... do stuff differently#the free will is kicking in babes and it has decided I love finding ways to use things differently#it's why im doing a bg3 run where I just press loot all no matter what and use whatever I can in odd ways#anyways I might delete this later might not who knows
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Fanart for @splickedylit's fanfiction Domestic Diplomacy (And Other Minefields)
getting back into the swing of digital art lol.
Sort-of predecessor to this below the cut (its just a height chart of the fic I did a bit ago. which is not the same heights as above.)
lineup :)
#my art#gossie draws#done while procrastinating on dishes. anyway.#Homestuck#fic#fanfic#anyway. my old enemy: the accidental lean :/ (Karkat in the lineup)#Um. Troll designs mostly based on Splickedy's w some elements of mine :)#(which. I will admit. my designs are slightly based on Splickedy's. so)#horns could otherwise be brighter but chose to at least attempt a more muted/harmonious palette?#also. fun n creative outfits :/ also my enemy. um. yeah. :(#I had lots of fun w the composition though :)))) transparency#um. does. does this quantity of blood require a mature tag?? I don't think so but am open to being told otherwise ig#also I do not see where to add a mature tag :|
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#ludicolo#and now‚ just like i talked about on the lombre post‚ i am legally required to say ¡¡qué rrico!! rrrrrr#something about miror b. and his groove. the trumpets are super funky but it's certainly not my favorite song from colosseum#that title is held by the cipher peon battle theme. i love that one SO much it's like the background music of everything that happens to me#the guitar is what sells it for me. but that has nothing to do with ludicolo. rain dish is stupid when it's a double battle and all you have#are a bunch of fucking ludicolo. lookin at'chu‚ miror b#i also remember him for his sudowoodo bc that was his shadow pokémon but like Come On. Come On#anyway. i've been sitting here for like 2 minutes trying to think of something else to say but i can't so have a ludicolo on the house
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It's kinda weird how, compared to Metroid Dread, Metroid Fusion was so much more blatant in
its prioritisation of linear story progression over exploration
its linear presentation (literally naming the areas sector 1–6), though it still does the classic "linear game pretending to be nonlinear" thing by taking you through them in a different, but still fixed, order
the way it literally directly tells you your every next step constantly
yet when playing the games, it felt to me that somehow, despite all of this, Fusion felt a lot less frustrating in its linearity to me than Dread. In Fusion it was immediately clear that I would just be sticking to a single sector for each part of the game and those sectors themselves would still be mostly freely explorable in a way that felt more similar to Metroid II, but in Dread there was just no telling AT ALL when the path behind me would be blocked off and it also felt wayyyyy less justified than in Fusion, especially with just how often Dread would be doing this.
With Fusion's extremely tense atmosphere being present throughout the entire game and so much of the story taking place and developing during the game itself, I was totally understanding of its structure and restrictions. Dread on the other hand just kinda made me feel nothing, except
frustration at the lack of exploration with every single door locking behind me constantly for no good reason. Even some obstacles don't *go away* but instead switch from blocking the path forward, to blocking the path back: the thermal doors, the lifts that go down if you stick to their spider magnet walls, the big boxes that you had to move with the charge beam (or grapple beam idk? or both?) it just gets soooo annoying
frustration at how you need to use 3 buttons simultaneously to perform one single god damned action
frustration at how abilities felt extremely underused in the level design—you rarely grapple your way across the ceiling to cross a pit like in Super (which is the kind of level design that allows for sequence breaks in completely natural ways that encourage player experimentation), no, you just open the grapple beam door lock with your grapple beam door key. Literally every single ability in dread relies on this WAY TOO MUCH in painfully obvious ways, including literally every single power beam upgrade
frustration at how missile tanks feel worthless because getting only 2 is just not worth my time (yet the total number of missiles is similar to the other games... a sign of the game being too long/padded compared to the old games)
frustration at how energy tanks feel worthless because every boss does 100+ damage per hit; you're just not allowed to be tanky and the game is forcing you to play in only one specific way. The full energy tanks are just straight up given to you at way too hard-to-miss points—it's not a reward for exploration, it's forcibly scaling up Samus's health so it can scale up the next bosses' damage accordingly and absolutely nothing ends up feeling different. And to make things worse, the energy tanks that you DO get to find on your own don't actually DO anything because they're fucking energy PARTS. They just deliberately made exploration as unrewarding as it possibly could've been
frustration at how almost every area looks the goddamn same and has no music to stand out with either
I must say Dread's final boss was actually really reasonable though, it was really generous with the heals/restocks provided in between & low damage numbers making it so that my collected energy tanks FINALLY felt like they were actually making a difference. I will hate that one arbitrarily locked door in the escape sequence though
#also honestly I just do not like the free 360° aim of Samus Returns and Dread. It's presented as something to be praised because#“analog > digital” always gets treated as an upgrade and something that offers more options but it Does Not do that here#aiming locks you in place. That's a HUGE deal. You can't move and shoot. Being able to move and shoot at once felt so important in th#the sprite based metroids bc you ALWAYS WANT to move. The only good thing about shooting in Dread is the storm missiles but even those are#fairly late into the game. The storm missiles are great because you don't have to stand in place to aim and thus you get to move around#freely while still dishing out strong firepower; exactly like in the older games. But it just feels like a band-aid to a bigger problem#Requiring you to use the stick in 2D metroid feels like a really poorly thought out move because it just changes everything so fundamentall
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@flybcll said → " it tastes better than it looks. " ( src. / accepting. )
Okonomiyaki doesn't look like the sort of dish that Hakkai would have selected if given the choice, but he's sure the hesitation to dig right in has given his newfound companion some level of reservation about having picked it. As such, Hakkai can't help feeling a little sheepish about his own behavior and guilty over his unreadability.
"I don't doubt that," Hakkai concedes. He had, after all, been the one to ask for recommendations. "It's different from the sort of thing I'd have sought out for myself. I'm not particularly picky, though, so there's no need to assure me about this sort of thing."
As if to back up his words, Hakkai promptly digs in. As expected, it's a perfectly serviceable dish; he'll have to tell Goku about it when they meet again.
#『 the caretaker; life is a labor of love. 』 ⟶ ic.#『 with some unfamiliar resolve i answered the demand to live on. 』 ⟶ ask.#verse tba.#flybcll#sorry this took a few days to get to!#if you can believe it it actually required a lot of thought on my part :') it was hard to come up with a dish hakkai would hesitate about#but not end up rejecting. since he's generally not picky about food and tends to just politely refuse anything he really balks at#i ended on okonomiyaki partly because it's famous in osaka but also because i think it's not a dish hakkai would normally go for#anyway. don't mind my yapping. thanks very much for the ask!#also (sorry more yapping): i wasn't sure whether to set this in his modern or urban fantasy verse. if we do further plotting i think#the latter could be interesting.
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today has been a very good day for me. I expected bad days, it literally hasn't even been a week since I got broken up with? it's been 5 days at most.
#woke up#had yummy cereal with the coffee/milk mix i usually do#got myself balatro and immediately won the first time i played it#there were yummy coconut shrimp at work that i got to eat#i saw a cutie who's in a band and it and its gf came up and said hi to me and talked to me for a bit#the girlthing i'm friends with that i love came to the deli and gave me a hug#then i got to slice some cheese for it and it pet me and called me a good girl as a reward for doing such a good job for it!#then the hot water we're required to have for the deli to be up to code came back! after a week of washing greasy dishes without it!#got out of work 15 minutes earlier than usual!#got home#and then practiced guitar for a bit#then was able to get changed and visit the girlthing that hugged me earlier.#today ruled!!#also im getting a bike tomorrow with the help of a friend who has also bought me... some kink gear. which i will not specify but will enjoy.#and then i get to see one of my non nesting gfs some time after that and fall asleep cuddling her!!#my life is very gay and good.
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What's the most evil lab equipment in your opinion 😂
In my very subjective opinion? Ion chromatographs are on my shit list. It's not really their fault - the one I have to work with is old, hasn't been maintained properly, and no one else knows how to use it so I have to figure out everything myself, which is NOT FUN! It's finicky, frustrating, and it requires working with sulfuric acid, which I do not enjoy. It's very very sensitive and if you accidentally contaminate it with ions, you will be troubleshooting for weeks trying to figure out what happened. Ions are everywhere, in everything. In dust, in tap water (and nearly all filtered water, we have a special machine that makes Ultra Pure water with no ions or anything in it), on your skin, on virtually every surface that hasn't been specially cleaned. So if you have extra ions that shouldn't be there, it's a guessing game - are they from the sample? The eluent? Sample vials? Glassware? Is the water filter malfunctioning? Are the ions even there at all or is the detector messed up? You just have to keep trying stuff until it sorts itself out. The one I work with has NOT sorted itself out yet and I've been at this for over two weeks. I'm at my wit's end here.
And bonus answer for non-instrument equipment: drying tins. They're these little aluminum trays to put soil or whatever in when you stick them in the drying oven but they make Bad Noises when they scrape together. Also they bend easily, so if you stack them and then they get knocked around, sometimes it becomes very very difficult to get them apart.
In contrast, the best instrument is the Gas Chromatograph and the best other equipment is micropippettes. The GC is straightforward, easy to use, really hard to contaminate, and rarely has technical problems (plus when it does, they're not my problem - I am not the designated GC expert). Micropippettes are just fun because it's satisfying to click the button to release the pipette tip and launch it into the trash can.
#so many people would have the exact opposite opinion on instruments which is hilarious to me#gas work scares some people because you can't see it. it confuses them. meanwhile I love it. keep the wet lab stuff away from me please.#gas work has very few hazardous chemicals. anything that can hurt you at least you'll KNOW ABOUT IT! it's not sneaky and insidious#i don't have to wear gloves. i don't have to think super hard about possible contaminants. i don't have to do dishes.#the gc makes good noises#the ic requires sulfuric acid and is perpetually angry. plus it makes me come in on saturdays sometimes to turn it off. not nice.#thank you for asking this is fun!#asks#hylian rambles#hylian does science
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Have I finally unlocked my superior purpose? To be the haven of peace to somebody else?
#a house a safe harbor a shelter#quiet and peaceful#silence reigns in the forms which you require#an open door a familiar song a soothing scent#the color of the sky a favorite dish the freedom to walk into a space and not tremble from it#rodja.txt#I hope she knows how much I care#she makes me want to be strong to be better#they both do in a way#i want to set a good precedent#I'm weathering the storms in my head to pave the way#so she has someone who knows what it means and that you can come out the other side
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day 2 of sleeping all day and uhhh perhaps i need a supremely attentive alarm to wake me up so i can enjoy Some of daytime bc its already winter so its dark out but when the sun Is present i am knocked tf out so i dont get any sun time ://
#when i lived w my parents ny dad used to wake me up#which was both annoying and nice bc it keant i could do day tasks#see like to me daytime is for getting The Chores™ done#so u can party or chill in the night time#Unfortunately... our bodies require sleep so#my system is Fucked#i need help getting up!!!!! RAAAAAA#i think neo used to at the old apt till maybe i asked him to stop or he stopped on his own#which is fine i mean im supposed to be grown so#ugh#man now i gotta do chores in the night time :/#somehow? bc also i just find it hard to do chores in night time like i cant get myself to do them#except for like dishes and tidying up and occasionally sweeping#idk ugh ill have to ruminate
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feeling very accomplished tn
#did SOOOO much. especially after working + going out.#vacuumed + mopped + cleaned the kitchen + cleaned out the fridge + took out both trashes + FINALLY put together the hall shelving#unit + did dishes. i feel like i Could do More but my back is starting to hurt and i dont wanna push it 😔😔#like i feel like i have the energy to continue cleaning my office or the bedroom a bit but. back ouchie :(#and everything id do in either room requires bending over to some degree. so i guess itll have to wait 😔😔#whatever. ciderboys time bc i deserve it!! especially after this week!!!!!!!!#ALSO went to dinner and the vendor thing by myself bc my friend had to pick up another friend from work 😔 but i had a decent time#bought sone ornaments and gifts for people but i regret not getting the lizard earrings i saw.. i shouldve at least gotten a pic of the#vendor. ugh.#WAIT. the lady i wanted to see there posted ab it.. maybe by power of deduction i can figure out who it was........#talk tag
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