#But that doesn't count because I didn't know the characters or their backstories

[vulturesrottencorpse]

im like 14 years late to the Creepypasta and marble hornets fandom (because I was like 2 years old when it was poppin off) (and because the rest of the time I was busy watching animation memes) so now I'm seeing shit I don't understand wtf is I eat pasta for breakfast what does waffles have to do with ticcitoby, who is Nina, what the hell is the "cheesecake joke" I am so confused

Plus, I just finished watching marble hornets and I still don't understand it like, I get what happened but then there's ppl like pointing out stuff I never noticed or decoding tothearks videos or stuff like that and I'm just ????? What????? Huh????

Maybe it's BC I watched most of it in 2x speed (my ADHD cannot handle sitting there and watching people silently walk through a forest while nothing happens so I just put the videos in 2x JDGDHGHD don't hate me)

This is what happens when yourre a decade late to a fandom.

Edit: ok guys I've had like 5 ppl explain now it's okay 😭😭😭

[princesssarisa]

My post about whether or not Lydia should be saved from Wickham in modern Pride and Prejudice retellings has gotten more likes and reblogs than I expected. It's made me think of another possibility of why Austen didn't save her from him.

Presumably, Lydia and Wickham's marriage could have been avoided in only three ways that would have left Lydia's reputation intact. The first is if they had only been planning to elope, but it was prevented, as with Georgiana. The second is if they had been found earlier and separated before Lydia lost her virginity. Or else Lydia could have listened to Darcy and left Wickham, and then Darcy could have used his influence to protect her honor: e.g. by claiming that she was kidnapped, or by arranging a decent marriage for her.

If Austen had wanted to make any of those choices to free Lydia, she could have done it without drastically changing the plot. But if she had, it might have felt a bit too "literary" and unrealistic.

I've just been re-watching some of Dr. Octavia Cox's literary analysis videos on YouTube. They reminded me that Austen always loved to skewer the tropes and clichés of other literature, especially Gothic melodrama, whether in outright parody or in subtler deconstruction.

Dr. Cox's video on the elder Eliza's fate in Sense and Sensibility particularly highlights this trend in Austen. She argues that Eliza's story is a classic, clichéd Gothic melodrama (a beautiful orphan, an abusive uncle, thwarted romance, forced marriage to a cruel man, a "fall" into a life of "sin," and ultimate illness and death, all narrated by Colonel Brandon in heightened, poetic language), and that Austen's point in including it was arguably to highlight that this wouldn't be the fate of her heroines. Marianne comes close to it with Willoughby and with her near-fatal illness, but in the end she's saved. Austen's point was arguably to say "Yes, I know all about this type of melodrama, I know all the clichés, but I'm relegating it to the backstory, because that's not what I want to write."

(I don't know if everyone would interpret the elder Eliza's storyline this way, but it's how Dr. Cox reads it.)

Maybe with Lydia's fate, and with the backstory of how Georgiana was freed from Wickham, Austen was doing something similar.

I'm not enough of an expert on Georgian literature to know if the rescuing of girls from predatory men with their virginity and honor intact was a cliché or not. But it does appear in late 18th century comic opera. For example, Mozart's Don Giovanni: the title character is the ultimate womanizer, but he has no success with any of the women he tries to prey on over the course of the opera. His seductions are stopped by the timely, chance arrivals of his enemies, his victims get away unscathed, and he pays for his crimes with his life in the end. Or The Marriage of Figaro: the Count's designs on Susanna are thwarted, and he's humiliated and forced to beg his wife's forgiveness.

If stories of womanizers being thwarted and punished, and their female victims saved with virtue intact, were as common in the literature of the day as they are in opera from that era, then maybe Austen used Wickham and Lydia to deconstruct them.

We definitely see some skewering of poetic cliche in the fact that despite Mrs. Bennet's fears/hopes, Lydia's honor is saved with a bribe instead of a duel.

Maybe like the Eliza backstory in Sense and Sensibility, the backstory of Georgiana's near-elopement can be read as a more perfect "literary" example of a girl escaping a cad's clutches. The elopement was thwarted partly by pure chance, as Darcy paid a surprise visit just before Wickham and Georgiana meant to run off, and partly because Georgiana was a “good victim,” whose conscience got the better of her and who chose her family and honor over her whirlwind romance.

But similar luck isn't on Lydia's side, nor does she make the right, “virtuous" choices. Darcy doesn't find the lovers until Lydia has already been living with Wickham, and like a typical reckless teenager, she cares nothing for either her reputation or her family compared to her infatuation with him. So Darcy is forced to bribe Wickham to marry her, Wickham goes unpunished except that he loses his hope of marrying rich, and all the characters have to live with the results of the scandal for the rest of their lives.

By having Georgiana's successful escape from Wickham be mere backstory while foregrounding Lydia's lack of escape, maybe once again Austen was saying "I could have freed Lydia this way – I know the tropes other authors might have used to free her – but I'm a more cynically realistic writer than that, so I won't."

I have no idea if this is valid or not, but it's a theory.

[barblaz-arts]

Stephanie Beatrice had played my 3 favorite characters (Rosa Mirabel and Vaggie) and since I watched Encanto and B99 I have my head canon that Vaggie have both Rosa and Mirabel personalities.

Any way, I just want to know what is your head canon or theory about her? ( specifically about Lute calling her weak and why the other exorcist hate her)

Since she is your girl, I would love to read your essay about her.(I’m joking you don’t have to write that much I just like to read your post)

Thank you

"My girl"... Am I just "that one artist who's the biggest Vaggie stan" to you guys? (I won't mind it!)

Oh man! I do have some ideas! A lot of my headcanons were already kinda sorta mentioned in my fic/art tho, so sorry if you're not getting a lot of new info

- I have this headcanon that Vaggie's always been "softer" than the other Exorcists, which is what I assume Lute meant when she said she "always knew [Vaggie] was weak". I know it probably has more to do with how little time each episode has, but what if Lute was so ready, already behind Vaggie when she let that kid go, because she knew this wasn't the first time Vaggie spared a sinner? Maybe that was just the first time Lute actually caught her. Maybe she's always had her suspicions, when Vaggie's kill count would lower every year, and she'd sometimes find Vaggie saying a sinner got away somehow despite cornering that demon moments ago.

- although she's gotten used enough to her lack of depth perception when it comes to her hand eye coordination, especially when fighting, i like to think her reading ability could never truly go back to the way it used to be, so she has trouble reading/ writing/texting (if you notice, i always showed instances of this in my fic ;> )But because she's the hotel manager she still has to deal with them because of paperwork and shit, so she has prescription glasses that help. I'd wanted to include a scene in the First Guest where Vaggie almost cries after seeing Charlie thru the glasses for the first time, because she didn't think Charlie could be any more beautiful, but i scrapped the idea because I couldn't expand the concept enough to an actual scene that could be relevant to the overall fic. I probably should have just mentioned it in a paragraph or something, but by the time i remembered id already posted the chapter I intended to add it in. Maybe I'll use it for another fic.

- she prefers femme clothing so she doesn't really have a reason to do this, but she learned how to do all kinds of ties so that she could do Charlie's whenever

- she grew her hair to compensate for her lost wings

- she wasn't exactly a great cook before she Fell, but she was pretty capable when she lived alone in Heaven. Cooking for Charlie tho gave her the motivation to get better and actually enjoy it

- an angel trait that she could never truly abandon is being a stickler for rules. She's very strict on everyone and herself with these things, within reason. So even when she and Charlie started dating, she insisted that they can't sleep together until they've had their third date. When they're on the clock, they have to be professional and avoid flirtatious advances in front of staff and guests. Charlie didn't mind because she prefers privacy too.

- Vaggie's physical appearance slightly changed gradually the longer she stayed in hell. As an angel, her sclera was paler, her incisors duller, and her skin grayer. But as time passed, her sclera got more and more peach/pink, fangs sharper, and skin more purple toned

- i still like to think that Vaggie's old backstory back when only the pilot was out (having died in 2014 in her early twenties who worked as a sex worker in El Salvador) was still true. Maybe it's just because I've liked Chaggie since pilot, and I've grown really attached to that backstory. I also just really don't want Vaggie to be Heavenborn for some reason. Among the cast she just seems the most grounded to reality to me, so having her revealed to have never been human and born "divine" just doesn't seem right to me. I also just think it'd be cute and funny if it turns out she's chronologically the youngest in the hotel even tho she's basically everyone's strict not-mom.

- idgaf what Adam says, I wanna think that "Vaggie" is short for "Evangeline". I used to have these 2 coworkers in their late 50's to 60's who had Evangeline as their government name, but one of them goes by "Vanj" and the other "Vajee". Being older Filipino women who aren't really too fluent in English, they never thought there was anything wrong with that when they grew up with their nicknames. I like to think that the case was the same if Vaggie used to be human. I'm not sure how common English is in El Salvador, but I'm willing to bet it's possible she could have been given that nickname as a kid by an older family member who didn't know a lot of English. Also Evangeline makes more sense to have been the name of an angel cmon now...

[blade-liger-4ever]

Why I'm not big into TFP Arcee

Now don't get me wrong, TFP Arcee is the only version of the character I'll ever give almost 100% respect. However, I'm really tired of all the gushing and praise she gets, and that's not counting how much I ended up hating her in S2. Now, admittedly, most of my beef with her is in her treatment of Smokescreen, but in light of @chaoticcreatorgardendean's points about her characterization in S1, I'll lightly tackle her problems there.

No worries, this - shouldn't, I hope - be as bad as my dressing down of Jack.

So, when Arcee is introduced, we're told in pretty rapid fashion that she's 1 an aft-kicker in her own right, 2 has a traumatic backstory that left her with a procupine-like exterior to everyone, and 3 that she's very much not all that caring. Yes, I clearly recall her protective streak with Jack; however, that came after she ditched housesitting duty in favor of blowing off steam on patrol. Right here, we see a couple of vices to Arcee's character: she's arrogant in how her skills are used (further emphasized with her arguing against being Jack's guardian), and that she is irresponsible. Face it, she knows better than anyone in the audience that Bulkhead's got a spine made out of chocolate when it comes to kids or pressure of any kind that's not from a Decepticon. To leave him in charge with Miko, the single most strong-willed being in this continuity after Optimus and Megatron, is so reckless and immature that it borders on stupidity. No, she didn't realize that Miko would join the battlefield, but it's pretty dang clear that Miko is a force of nature unto herself. Butter spines + Bombs of willpower = the Butter spines losing. That's just a fact, and it tells us that Arcee, while pretty and bad-butt, has many flaws.

Then comes her saga of arcs with Jack. Not only is she shown to be immature and hypocritical when the race episode comes up, but she also chafes/bites back at authority, even from Optimus. Don't forget, anytime Airachnid or Starscream/revenge was on the table, she flew off the handle and went straight for the kill, practically giving the finger to Optimus numerous times while doing so. Heck, I don't think Optimus even grounded her at base for her insubordination, and while that's kinda respectable insofar as Optimus not being harsh to his pseudo family, it's a tactical risk when letting Arcee's wrath and hatred go unchecked or even unpunished. No joke, Arcee continually almost got herself and others killed when she was greedy for revenge or offended by a bratty kid; the fact that she's not really punished (I'm not counting the race episode because she still disobeyed orders to make Jack look good for the stupid chick) at all is a writing and military failure on everyone involved. Letting her get away with this and not learning from her mistakes, when even Miko (who was also filled to the brim with rage and grief) knew after killing Hardshell that it didn't change what she felt/what happened, is - I don't even know how to categorize it.

Yeah, it's relatable that Arcee is like this, but it's stupid that she doesn't learn, not to mention dangerous for those who try acting like her. In real life, there would have been severe consequences for her actions but, since this is fantasy land where strong females can do whatever and walk away scot-free, a blind eye is turned to Arcee.

Now we come to my biggest problem.

Her treatment of Smokescreen.

I understand that his attitude/personality at first is gonna grate on her nerves, but even slow Bulkhead gave him a better wakeup call by saying what amounted to, "Look at me, kid. You really think war is easy and that you can just go in guns blazing and jump us closer to victory?"

Pits of Kaon, that was literally more thoughtful and thought provoking than Arcee's demeaning points. All she ever did was make him the butt of her own sarcastic commentary, pick on him with various condescending nicknames, and then lash out whenever he was already kicking himself for messing something up. Smokescreen held himself to high standards, an issue that Bulkhead knew and empathized with due to his own insecurities, and tried to comfort him and lift the burden from his shoulders. Smokescreen wouldn't take it because he knew he'd been the one to fail, and felt like a failure and dead weight whenever his presence didn't bring something good to the table. He never wanted it to be all about glory, or fame, or really anything superficial. He just wanted to prove his worth, carry his weight, and do his part.

But Arcee never or wouldn't see that. Instead, she just saw a kid with a supposedly inflated ego and chose to read him the riot act when he was already doing that to himself fourteen different ways from Sunday. She didn't care enough about Smokescreen to actually listen and think "Okay, that's what's going on in his head"; she just wanted someone who would "take things seriously" and was gonna verbally abuse him until he "got the message".

Sweetheart, if you want him to mature, you help him by guiding his steps, nurturing his virtues, and helping him up when he's fallen. You don't do it by telling him how much he stinks for not grasping the state of things in the time it takes to blink, or by kicking him when he's down. All that tells him is that he's a waste of time for the people he's dedicated his whole life to helping, which in turn will make him self-destruct. Now luckily, Smokescreen was of a stronger constitution, and therefore shook off the doubt and fear of ineptitude when faced with bigger problems, but if he were anyone else, who's to say he wouldn't have eaten a bullet out of despair? Arcee would've then had the blood of an innocent life on her conscience, and nothing could have made up for that.

I do, objectively, like TFP Arcee, especially compared to her alternate counterparts.

I just can't stand how she got off so easily so many times.

Well, hope y'all enjoyed this, even though I'm pretty sure I did worse to her than I anticipated.

Til next time -

"Roll out!"

[tossawary]

Thinking about how hard the "Star Wars" prequel films dropped the ball in terms of female representation. Like, looking back on the original trilogy, it kind of sucks that the only main female character is Leia, and while Leia does kick ass and I love her, it also sucks that the last film 1) put her in that bikini and 2) abruptly made her Luke's twin but didn't let her have a lightsaber or use a lot of the cool space magic powers.

When you only have one female character, she often ends up bearing the unintended burden of a lot of hopes and expectations of fans. She's just one person. She's never going to be compelling to everyone.

And then you have the prequels and you'd hope that they'd do a little better with male-female ratios this time? With experience? But the only main female character is Padmé, who's pretty fun, but also ends up 1) desperately in love with a murderer, 2) spending most of the last movie barefoot and pregnant, staring out a window, because they cut the "founding of the Rebellion" plotline, and 3) dying not because she was Force-choked but because she has "lost the will to live" because "fuck them kids", I guess.

(I know there's theories about Sidious siphoning her life force or what the fuck ever, but I don't caaaaare, because I hate the idea that Sidious has that kind of reach for no fucking reason and also it's not actually IN the movies! It doesn't count!)

The Nubian handmaidens are a cool concept, but they're all background characters, who barely get named. We don't get to actually see them and Padmé do a lot of on-screen work together. She doesn't get to confide in them regarding her love or her fears. She speaks to her guard captain more onscreen than her handmaidens.

And while we do see female members of the Jedi Order in the films, they're ALSO all background characters, like Jocasta Nu and Aayla Secura and Yaddle. As opposed to more active Jedi characters like Qui-Gon Jinn or Mace Windu. Like, damn, the prequels are the perfect opportunity to introduce and show off even a female Jedi supporting character, and they just did not do that. That sucks. The careless absence of women in this universe sucks. The careless absence of women as significant characters in these films sucks.

Every other piece of additional material for "Star Wars" has to move to patch this. The "Jedi Apprentice" and "Jedi Quest" novels strive to add and name female agemates and mentors. "The Clone Wars" television shows add Ahsoka as a protagonist and Ventress as a villain and a whole bunch of new female characters.

Yes, given that these are prequels, there are some characters who are not really realistically changeable. (Yes, trans people exist, obviously, that would be very cool; not sure that "Star Wars" was going to go for that back in 1999.) Obi-Wan. Anakin. Yoda. The Emperor. Unnamed Sad Mother of Luke and Leia. You need those ones. EVERYTHING ELSE was up for whatever they wanted to do.

So, anyway, I'm currently thinking about characters you could potentially genderbend without affecting the story pretty much at all. Qui-Gon, obviously. Mace Windu, as well. I think fandom would then hate both of these characters even more then, unfortunately, because fandom is what it is. Whatever legitimate criticisms levied at both of these imperfect characters would have increased tenfold, I am certain of it. But we're talking about the prequels's badly executed stories, not fandom's misogyny. (And misogynoir. A black woman as the leader of the Jedi Order when it was destroyed by the Sith? Fandom would have been even more of a fucking nightmare.) It would suck that they both die, but the prequels are a tragedy anyway, so, eh.

Bail's role in the prequels could have potentially been played by Breha Organa instead. Although, I don't know how well the Extended Universe novels had extended Leia's backstory by that point in time, maybe Bail had already been established as the Senator and Breha as Queen, so maybe not. At the very least, you could have had Mon Mothma in there doing his superspy stuff with him or something. Padmé's guard captain could have been a woman.

Both Darth Maul and Count Dooku could have been women. Yes, they're both evil, and yes, they both die, so it's not perfect on the representation front. But it's something, especially if you balance that out with some good characters, and look, I can't coherently complete this thought, I keep getting distracted by the mental image of hot evil Sith ladies. I think a female Count Dooku would have kicked ass, honestly, as much as I enjoy Christopher Lee in the role.

My main goal with this thought exercise is purely upping the number of plot-relevant female characters, pointing out that it wouldn't have been hard to add more women without changing all that much if anyone involved had actually bothered to think about that.

The original trilogy only mentioned "The Clone Wars", so the clone army didn't all need to be copies of Jango Fett. There could have potentially been a half-dozen genetic donors, with the Kaminoans creating different clone soldiers for different purposes. Some of them could have been clones of women. (I hold the unpleasant headcanon that the clone soldiers are all sterile (or functionally sterile, incompatible with unmodified humans) anyway, because the Kaminoans don't want clients to be able to "steal" their work.) And the clones are actually a fairly minor role in the films themselves, admittedly, not given any more development than any of the droids (it's the show that does the work), but again, it's still something more.

[whateversawesome]

SxF Chapter 91: Perspective, History, Empathy

Let me start by saying that I didn't think this chapter would make me so emotional. Was it the same for you?

A small side character like Millie, who we saw only as one of Yor's annoying co-workers, turned out to have a very sad backstory and gave us a glimpse of how things are for young people in Ostania.

This chapter talks a lot about people understanding and misunderstanding each other. Millie was just talking about her own experience and feelings, she was explaining why it was so difficult for her to help during an event like this, and that lady felt personally attacked because she saw things from her own point of view and her sufferings.

In no way the story discards any of those ladies' sufferings; what they went through during the war was very difficult, I'm sure. Nevertheless, comparing their sufferings and demanding Millie to act the same way just because they were able to do it, it's not right.

They both had different experiences because their circumstances were different, so they face life in their own way. That's exactly Yor's point.

Here, Yor demonstrates her best quality (and one of the many reasons why her husband fell in love with her): Emotional strength.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. The way she stood up for Millie displayed all her emotional strength. She called out that woman in such a smart way!! She wasn't rude but her words were true and very wise.

One of the most important things Yor mentions is that we cannot bear the same load because we're different. And I couldn't agree more👏

Also, if we take it as a metaphor, Yor is such a strong person because she carried a very heavy load: as a child and an orphan, she had to take care of her brother. Because of this, a naturally kind person like her had to learn to murder in order to survive.

It was a beautiful chapter. On top of everything, we learned a few important things:

1.Yor did lose her parents during the war and because of the war.

2.Donovan Desmond did NOT start the war. But plenty of young people like Millie don't know that, so it's possible that since he was Prime Minister during most of the war, he gets blamed for starting it.

3.Donovan Desmond is hated by many. That's probably the reason why he's no longer in office. And it also wouldn't be surprising that the majority of people in Ostania who voted against him want to move on from the war.

3.Melinda still wears her wedding ring and, even though she's separated from her husband, she still counts him as an important person for her. I guess, you can hate a person's actions and opinions, hate what they have become, but care about them at the same time...their marriage is complicated.

4.Not only Yor and Twilight fear the SSS because of their jobs. The general population do too because they know rich and powerful people can make them disappear regardless whether they are spies or not. That means arrests and disappearences of innocent people are common.

5.There was a repression during war time. This means the state controls and restricts certain rights of its citizens. When war happens, the state may determine it's necessary to protect their country and citizens. Chances are that policing of others started then and Ostanians got used to living like that.

And now some questions:

Was Melinda being sincere? In my opinion yes (for the most part). Melinda is no longer campaigning for her husband. In fact, she's going there incognito. Since her husband is no longer the Prime Minister and they don't have any elections to win, she doesn't have to support this types of events. If you think about it, once a politician retires from the public eye, their spouse generally goes back to their normal life.

Something that caught my attention was that it was mentioned Melinda has a lot of enemies; probably because her husband has a lot of enemies too. If that's the case, it would be easier for Melinda to move abroad, where she could have a care-free life, yet, she has chosen to stay in Ostania. Why?

Melinda is still a very mysterious character. We don't know her plans or intentions. We don't know why she separated from her husband. My only guess is that she's suffered a great deal and that's why she's able to empathize with Millie, even though their experiences are different.

What do you think?

Bonus (to end on a light note):

This is the Sxf when we see Yor 😄

[herecirmsims]

Saxen for @simblorbo-bracket 's Saddest Wettest Meow Meow Bracket

You're probably most familiar with Sax as the Sim who's often used in my pose previews, but he does in fact have a whole life as the saddest and wettest little meow meow in my modern fantasy story over on IG. In fact I was first introduced to the SWMM concept because @nefaricussims referred to him as such in a comment. 😆

He's an original creation, based on a character in a novel I started writing 15 years ago and never had the guts to finish. In the Sims story version, he's a vampire mage.

Things Sax does extremely well: fainting and bleeding (separately), fainting and bleeding (combination), rotting in bed, crying or being completely stoic (no in between), causing more problems while trying to fix his previous problems, omitting certain truths (aka lying).

Now, I don't know if he really counts as an SWMM because he's not a classic villain... but in his pursuit of Doing The Right Thing he has made some awful choices. Good intentions, poor outcomes.

I present the evidence beneath the cut:

Some of his crimes:

In an attempt to save his sister, he left his post and facilitated the escape of a world-devouring entity which he was supposed to help contain.

After his sister died he made another attempt to save her, via necromancy, and instead doomed her to an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Until recently, none of her reincarnations were healthy enough to survive infancy.

He befriended the parents of this latest incarnation without filling them in on the backstory, or his motives. After they were killed by his enemy, he took the baby and kept her hidden for 11 years (did she have grandparents, uncles, aunts? Yes, probably. He claims they couldn't have cared for her like he did and technicallyyyy he's right, since her survival required magic, but...)

He broke the arm of one of his 'adopted' adult kids (he has an enchanted cottage which has been a refuge for a lot of people) when said adult tried to prevent him from killing someone else. Yes, technically he did only push Thom and didn't intend for Thom to hit the wall so hard, but...

Long story short but his home world didn't end, it was just knocked out of its timeline for a while. Unfortunately, due to his actions on the day the Grim escaped (attacking portal guards and forcing his way through the rift, just as an unrelated-to-him group stormed the castle), he was a) assumed dead and b) immediately arrested on his return for treason and attempted regicide.

He's a constant menace and cause of stress to his man, the kindest and sweetest soul to ever live. He doesn't mean to be, it's just that his attempts to keep Fen safe often seem to involve risking himself in increasingly creative and fatal ways.

Why should you vote for Sax? Well, I think his endless complex trauma and the fact that almost all his misfortunes happened because he was trying to fix things/help people makes him pretty damn tragic and definitely very damp. He could do with a win. Plus... look at him. 🥲

[ogh-rambles]

Rewriting Fate - Chapter 1

prologue > chapter 1 (you're here!) > chapter 2

word-count! 1.1k

warnings! none unless u count heart-wrenching angst as one

tag-list! @shizunxie , @sam-screams , @swivy123 , @thenyxsky

“... Who’s there?”

His raspy voice echoes around the room and you wince, head against the wall, barely hidden underneath the window.

You wonder how painfully long he had been crying for before you had found him.

Just a few seconds ago, you had ducked down after making direct eye contact with the one… character? Person? Person, you had dedicated hours of your time to.

Levelling him up, ascending him, pulling for his damned weapon (even after losing it to Itto’s claymore), maxing out said weapon… You practically gave him the luxury Genshin treatment. Your face falls with a thin-lipped smile, knowing how much real-world money you had to spend for this man. 

However, ‘this man’ was also currently on the other side of this thin wooden wall. Your mouth goes unbearably dry.

Heartbeats thud deafeningly in your ears as you hear a shuffling of fabric and then an abrupt thud. Shoulders jerking, your poor heart leaps to your throat at the sound.

Hearing nothing but stillness and the sound of your unsteady breaths for the next few moments, you begin to grow worried. What if he fell over? Hurt himself? You remembered that since he's only just been 'let free to roam' by his creator — that was but a small while past his initial creation.

At this thought, you find yourself nervously making your way into the darkened hallway through a rickety old sliding door. 

Sure enough, he lay there, albeit in a more crumpled manner than you last saw him in. Dark indigo hair splayed out around his head like a halo, his veil discarded beside him. Alarmed, you rush towards him, kneeling at his side as your hands hover over his limp form. Did your appearance break him already? Oh god--

A cold hand grasps blindly at your clothes, tugging at your shirt as the prototype lifts his head. You jolt in surprise, not making any noise or movement as if he were a cat you were coaxing.

A few mumbles of inherent words leave his lips. You frown, leaning in a bit closer to hear what he's saying.

"...Why are you here?" He finally speaks, voice thready and weak. 

Pausing, you let the silence linger for only a second before responding, just as quietly as he had. "Well, I heard someone crying and I..."

You trail off. What did you even think to achieve, in following his cries, in walking into this domain?

"I wanted to help...?"

To your horror, it comes out more like a question rather than an answer because, to be frank, even you didn't know why. You hope that he doesn't ask you to elaborate because you don't believe you could give him a proper answer.

His eyes meet yours again, miserable and confused. A look, much too innocent for who he will become... and what he will go through in the future. Unsettled by your darkening thoughts, you fidget under his unyielding gaze.

"Why do you wish to help... me? I don't even know who you are."

Your heart sinks at his very reasonable question. Dammit, what were you meant to say? 

‘Oh, it's nothing! It’s only because I know your entire backstory, and character and have read through your character stories an unhealthy amount of times.’

You'd rather eat your foot.

Reluctant to scare him once more, you attempt to smile at him as you gently take the hand that is so tightly gripped at your sleeve.

"You don't have to know someone to want to help them." You explain, making yourself comfortable in front of him. "Plus... Who says we can't get to know each other now?"

Looking down at him with kind eyes (or so you hope it comes off that way), you tilt your head. "What's your name?"

Kunikuzushi? Scaramouche? Wanderer? He pauses, his eyes wavering and breaking away from yours. Your heart drops at his crestfallen expression.

"I do not have one." His voice breaks, along with your flimsy heart.

You have to physically restrain yourself from spilling what his mother had wanted for him, that she never left him with the intent of abandoning him, never wished upon him the life he was destined to experience.

Barely concealing a frown, you quietly sigh. Fate can be cruel but Gods can be even crueler, you felt.

"That's okay. I don't need to know names to get to know you." You lightly squeeze his hand in yours. "Is it alright if I ask you what happened?"

The forlorn expression swiftly morphs into one of pure heartache as his eyes go glassy. The hand that barely clutched back in your hand tightened ever so desperately around your own, and you narrowly held back a wince at the pain.

You almost forget that he was made with the hands of a God. It was reasonable for him to rival the strength of one.

"My creator... My mother left me without saying a word." He croaked. "She didn't stop to look back at me once."

Your brows furrow as you watch him fruitlessly attempt to hold down his tears. Tears that had led a god to deem him too vulnerable, too fragile, too emotional to uphold such a title as 'The Raiden Shogun's Puppet.'

Reaching over, you place your unoccupied hand on his shoulder. Feeling it shudder and quiver with every concealed cry, you see his teary eyes flick over to you, wide and lost.

"It's okay to cry once in a while." You say. "It's only human."

He looks down at himself, confused.

"But," He spoke in hushed tones, his unoccupied hand reaching up and resting on his chest. "I am not human. I do not own a heart like you."

You knew well of that. But at this moment-- you think he feels nothing but human. Now that he sits in front of you, bearing his sorrow, you can’t help but see this character that you had watched develop through a screen, as a real being. 

"Well, I think... you seem to be very human." You give him a lopsided smile. "Maybe even more human than me." 

(The dam floods and shatters, taking him along with it but he holds onto you for dear life and... and you let him. Your warmth is a sharp contrast against his cool hands and face-- but it is ever so comforting as you wrap your arms so tenderly and kindly around him.)

He feels safe.

You decide to give him a name. In your head, of course, you didn't wish to give him a name that he did not choose.

In the end, you end up with the name: Kuni. For now, anyway.

Speaking of whom, Kuni had stopped sniffling quite some time ago and was now sitting up-- studying you with blatant curiosity. You sweatdrop under his fixed gaze but you're glad he looks much calmer than when you first found him.

"You never told me your name." He suddenly spoke, making you jerk.

"Ah... Did I not?" You laugh nervously. He simply stares at you with wide shining eyes, expecting you to answer. Obviously.

Sighing deeply, you decide to tell him your name with a twinge of reluctance. 

You know you probably shouldn't interfere with his past, despite how badly you long to push him on a path to a better... happier, content life. You also know that it most definitely would change a lot of things in the future. You didn't want to risk that. For both of you.

He echoes your name, looking more content as time passes. 

"Now, we know each other!" You grin despite your inner turmoil, pleased that he’s feeling better than before.

Kuni timidly smiles back at you. It's one so small and gentle, so out of character for his present self as ‘Scaramouche’, 'The Balladeer, the 6th of the Fatui Harbingers' and 'The Wanderer'.

You think could die happy knowing that you made him smile, you think to yourself giddily, not noticing his stare.

There is nothing but pure wonder in his eyes. "Yes."

[irrealisms]

svsss and sexual violence pt. 5: we live in a society

standard disclaimer at the beginning: i am not saying that this is the Only thing svsss is about, or that other readings are invalid; i am not intending to character-bash most of the characters here (while i will freely admit to thinking e.g. old palace master or qiu jianluo are pretty one-dimensionally shitty, lots--probably most--of the characters in this series who i mention as perpetrating SA are characters who do have depths & who i in fact like a lot! despite this meta, or perhaps because of it, my second-favorite character is luo binghe, and i am in fact a bingqiu shipper!); and, obviously, huge fucking CW for sexual abuse and adjacent topics. this section is about 1.5k words.

TABLE OF CONTENTS pt 1: shen yuan's realization of himself as a target pt 2: gender and homophobia pt 3: non-bingqiu sexual violence pt 4: shen qingqiu's body pt 5: we live in a society (you are here)

something that's universal across all three of mxtx's books is that society allows for & often approves of abuse, that invisibilized abuse of people with less power from people with more power is the bedrock society stands on; that even when society claims to disapprove of abuse, this is a smokescreen at best for attacking what (and who) it actually disapproves of. svsss...is not an exception to this. a lot of the incidents i'm about to discuss are ones i've already mentioned earlier in the series, but here i'm less interested in the specific incidents and more interested in the ways that society implicitly approves. a lot of these are sexual abuse but some of these are in fact nonsexual abuse because "society dgaf about abuse" applies fairly equally to all types of abuse in svsss.

the first and obvious example here is Shen Jiu. society, both in the universe of PIDW/SVSSS and in the ~frame story of the audience reaction to PIDW, objects to a 14-year-old slave breaking the engagement vows he made to a girl from the family that owns him so harshly they would throw him in prison/torture him (within the universe of the story) or demand for him to be castrated (in the comments section of said story). no one objects to the fact that slavery exists, or that Shen Jiu was abused; while it is ambiguous whether he was sexually abused (although I think there's strong evidence for it, as discussed in parts 3 + 4), society would not care if he had been; within PIDW universe, that's Qiu Jianluo's right, to do what he wants with his property, and within the universe where PIDW exists as a novel it would be hated as a storytelling decision the way all of Airplane's attempts at making Shen Jiu sympathetic were hated (because PIDW fandom didn't want complex villains with tragic backstories, they wanted someone they could uncomplicatedly hate).

the second example is also Shen Jiu, but the other way around--while he didn't sexually abuse Luo Binghe, nor was his abuse of LBH presented as particularly sexualized in any way (and if you've read this meta you know i am not shy about seeing technically nonsexual violence as sexualized/referencing sexual abuse in this book :P), it's another good example of how society allows for abuse? SQQ was in a position of power over LBH, so... he just gets to do whatever he wants to LBH. LBH can get revenge as an adult with a lot more power, can leverage that power & the ways SJ is vulnerable, can make it so that torturing and abusing him back is also allowed by society's rules--but when he is a kid without that power? society doesn't care! this is obviously less true on a "what did PIDW fandom care about" level than the other examples, but it's still true enough in-PIDW-universe that imho it counts!

the third example is the water prison. once again, Luo Binghe does not rape Shen Qingqiu in the water prison (although there was some very sexualized violence, shading into sexual assault). but-- SQQ was put in the water prison to be tortured at LBH's whims. if LBH had wanted to rape SQQ in there? he could have. with the material support of society. if Gongyi Xiao had been right that LBH raped SQQ there, GYX would still be disobeying his master to show SQQ kindness and break him out, and he would still end up just as killed for it. in the eyes of society, trying to help a prisoner escape the person who is raping them is worse than raping a prisoner. (identifying obviously identical problems with the prison system in the real world is left as an exercise to the reader.)

the fourth example is the old palace master. i talked about him some in part 3, but two things i want to highlight: - given that he was able to groom and abuse at least two generations, he's been doing this for a long time, and either no one noticed (even though it is obvious enough that sqq notices within a few lines of talking to him, implying that no one cared enough to look) or people did notice and, for whatever reason (some of which are even very sympathetic--certainly if i were his disciple and was mostly getting away with Not Being Abused i wouldn't want to come to his attention! but some of which are, uh, much less sympathetic) they let him, the same way people must have known about shen jiu's treatment of luo binghe and let him. because he's a powerful man, because it's his disciples and he has the authority, because, because, because. either way, this.... does not speak to a society that cares about sexual abuse. - when society learns about su xiyan's history, they blame her. they blame her for getting with tianlang-jun, they blame her for not aborting luo binghe, they assume she left her sect because she was ashamed and not because her sect hurt her. tianlang-jun is demonized (heh) even though his relationship with her was entirely consensual, because society hates him; old palace master is assumed to be innocent of any wrongdoing, because society likes him. do things eventually get figured out? yes. but the immediate reaction here is ... well, it's relevant.

last example here is moshang. again, not sexual/sexualized abuse! but through shang qinghua we get a piece of insight into demon society, rather than just human society, and what we get is... very very normalized physical abuse. shang qinghua is often going around with bruises from mobei-jun, to the point where shen qingqiu notices and is used to it. compare these two quotes, the first spoken by SQH to mobei-jun and the second from SQQ's narration:

“No one likes getting beat up every day, and no one would actually be all cheery after getting beat up every day! I’m not actually a dog! Even with a dog, if you kicked it twice a day, given enough time, it’d learn not to bother with you anymore!”

&

There was no telling what Shang Qinghua had done to piss off Mobei-Jun this time, but the corner of his lip was swelling as he gave Shen Qingqiu a pathetic smile. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t bear to look, so he shifted his gaze back to the file.

and.... the thing is, mobei-jun doesn't want to hurt sqh? when sqh gives him advice on how to woo men, he takes it; he pats sqh on the head instead of beating him, he gets sqh a cart when he's injured, he offers to let sqh hit him back. but the frequent beating is just...how demon society works, esp around the sort of power dynamic that sqh and mbj have. it's normal. and, given the demons we see, i don't actually think this is a fundamental difference of demon psychology. the demons we see who are person-y enough to Have Society are, broadly speaking...basically human? i think this is just... demon society is fine with it, because society is fine with all sorts of abuse as long as it's normal. and as we've seen in this post, it's not like human society is, uh, different in this regard.

the last thing i have to say isn't really a direct example. it's a little aside from shen yuan's internal monologue when talking to tianlang-jun about the plan to merge the realms:

The last part even sounded like rape culture logic: if you violate a person often enough, they’ll cooperate eventually; so do it first and think about the rest later.

which-- honestly i wouldn't have even thought to make that connection! but it was made for me by the book! and this is in a paragraph talking about how tianlang-jun thinks like this because he was mistreated and trapped under bai lu mountain, that he's bitter and resentful because of it, and it draws a neat little bow with our first example--shen jiu. the way that this is one way that rape & abuse culture perpetuate: someone is mistreated. they learn that this is how the world is; they pass it on. the cycle of abuse (and the breaking or attempted breaking of it) is another theme mxtx returns to over and over, in all three books, and you see that highlighted here. there's probably more to say here about TLJ's overall arc but i've worked on this meta for a long time and it is getting Really Quite Late.

if you've read all the meta (or even just this one): thanks for sticking with me through this! i really hope it was interesting & you got something out of it. i wrote. SO much in one day.

[synergysilhouette]

Ranking the male romances in BG3

I've personally only dated the men, so here's my ranking, from least-favorite to favorite.

4. Halsin--Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Halsin, especially since he subverts expectations. He's a wise and sage man, but has sexual desire and romantic urges instead of being flustered by it or being a thirst trap. I feel like he was done very well, but his romance was not. Due to being a conditional recruit (you have to side with the tieflings in Act 1) and his arc revolving around fixing the shadow curse, he joins you in Act 1, but isn't playable until the middle of Act 2. As such, he doesn't become a romantic option until roughly around the middle of Act 3, and he doesn't' have an ongoing arc after the Shadow Curse, no extra scenes with him aside from the initial sex scene. On top of this, the nature of your relationship is confusing; Halsin finds the word distasteful, and if you engage in a poly relationship, it's noted, at least by Astarion, that your other love interest(s) are under the impression that you're just sleeping with Halsin rather than it being romantic. In fact, Astarion seems a bit insecure about you sleeping with Halsin at first, questioning if it's because he hasn't slept with you for a while. This kinda implies that you actually falling for another person wouldn't be well-received by him.

3. Astarion--I know he's a fan-favorite, but I was never crazy about sassy, cutthroat characters. While his backstory was done so well (him being a magistrate is so interesting to me) and his growth is commendable, he just seemed a bit too jagged for me, personally. Loved the softer moments, though!

2. Wyll--SUCH an underrated love interest! It's so rare to find a pure and kind love interest in a game like this (not that Wyll doesn't have a high body count, but it wasn't done out of cruelty or malice). I feel like he doesn't get enough appreciation because he's nice and doesn't really have edges like the other characters, though a demon on his shoulders sucks. His thirst for justice and kindness is so princely, Astarion's observation of him being out of a fairy tale is very apt. And this is just a detail, but I love the fact that Wyll doesn't sleep with you until you accept his marriage proposal--or does he still do it if you reject him?

Gale--The master of the weave himself! I adore his mix of innocence and maturity, as well as being like a parent to the gang with his intelligence (and I think he does most of the cooking; all this stuff makes me surprised he doesn't see himself as parent material, but at least he's self-aware). He's nerdy and sexy and powerful, though I was concerned that turning him away from his ambitions would end the romance. Seeing that it didn't made him my favorite.

And side note: I wonder why British accents were prioritized for the companions. I'd enjoy more high fantasy games with American ones.

[istarveforplatonicptnstuff]

Pookie, what do you think of ptn characters being self aware au?? I need another platonic for that😍😍😍

Pookie 😿 The way that I wanted to answer this right away, but I ended up thinking about it for half a day, since today I had to finish counting tears in a plastic bottle (life update, today was my GRD and they had me recite 50 STEPS 😀 Changing patient gown and iv infusion + insertion 😢 But I SLAYED because I got perfect and one mistake in the other 😎) - Idk about ya'll but... You probably found out about the game based on the ad that had MISS 🤭 MAAM 🥰 Zoya... You guys don't understand the GRIP 😩 it had on me when I saw the ad for the first time... So, after watching THE ad that saved LIVES 🤩 including mine ofc 😊 You downloaded the app, despite having ZERO experience playing a tower defense game... 😶 That was me, highkey projecting rn... 😔😔😔 - So after days of getting used to the game, you started watching the interrogation since you were quite curious about the sinners backstory... 🤔🤔🤔 After finishing part of Hella's interrogation, you started to notice weird things happening in the game.

- If you put Zoya as your display character, she starts getting too real about asking you how your day was. And telling you stuff like; You better level me first 😤😤😤 because I'm the only who can protect you bbgirl... 🐺 Girl... This wasn't here before 🤨 so you definitely looked it up, but to no avail... So you probably felt special... 😍😍😍 Like, for me??? 🥺 Oh my gah 😱 I'm never letting you go POOKIE 🤭 Though you got jumpscared by the way Zoya suddenly responded with, That's right... I'm your pookie now... 😈 Making you press the home button on your phone due to how much you are FOLDING rn... 😳😳😳 Zoya canonically RIZZING you up pookie... *Sighs in not being able to relate because I'm not You pookie... 😞* But lmao imagine saying words like, Pookie 😍, Rizz 😏, and Bbgirl 🐺 to THE Zoya, like this is sending me rn... The way that I giggled a lil bit too hard writing this, feeling a lil EMBARAZZED picturing how Zoya would probably react to this... She's probably amused at you fangirling about her character, gives me FANSERVICE queen vibes like??? 😳 She knows how to play her role TOO well... 🥵

If you decide to put Adela as your display chara... (Though, what you know about my POOKIE Adela??? 🤨 Maam, I probably need to see that I.D for verification that you are INDEED another Pookie of Adela's... 🧐🧐🧐 /j I SEE 👀 you that one Adela pookie in my comments rn... So, this one's for you 🥰 and a lil bit of a spoiler pooks, if you see this rn... I'm writing another installment to our fav hair stylist soon...) - Adela would DEFINITELY give you good advice about hair... Me thinks my girl Adela knows FASHION 💃 Because, you cannot convince ME that this girl doesn't know how to dress up, like??? Her default outfit? SLAYED THE BOOTS DOWN 👢💥 So, rest assured you guys chose the right girl to display because this girl DON'T play around with both SERVING looks and SLAYING in one setting like girl... Me thinks if you like asmr, and had it on playing in the background and she hears and sees how it relaxes you... She probably would replicate it, like girlie had a secret career brewing and thought that we didn't notice??? 😯 Pookie, at this point, if you want to sleep or just relax... Hop on the game rn... Adela's doing 💈✂ barber shop 💇‍♀️ asmr... 😴😴😴 Adela havers be having a good night sleep, being blessed every night with her calming atmosphere... (Average Adela fan spotted, I will YAP when I hear her name...) Her voice lines would make you feel that you guys were besties from the start, or it's either like she's your mom friend and you guys get to hanggg around when she's not too busy SERVING the customers 💅

Not the soul siren 😭 but if you guys put her as your display character and you eat in front of her during a break... Sis will ROAST you like she's a copy of Gordon Ramsay, but more CUNTIER 💋 Girl acts like you are one of her 5 star chef and DEMANDS that you eat something else... 🙄 Babes really think you're rich 💳✨ and have MONEYYY to eat ✨exquisite✨ food... Only the best food for her caretaker. Girl really said that like you was her maid or something like??? WHAT? 😭😭😭 Lowkey judges you like you're BROKE or smth, same thing applies if you're actually not broke or like... College student tingssss, which makes it even WORSE because sister manages to convince you to buy her skins every time or pull copies of her... Pookie, I think she's a secret marketing agent of AISNO... 🤨 Girl WILL be obsessed with you the moment you max her, forfeit all moral possessions for her, and HER exclusively... 🤐🤐🤐 Sis does not leave you alone even after all that... She's hard to please 😞, in short but she warms up to you when you show significant improvement in your life... It's giving... Strict asian parents vibes 😶 Though, for realsys she isn't mean but like she's hard to predict pookie... I think she's kinda more on the practical side of things... When I mean practical, like your cooking skills... Critiques you as if you're in culinary school... 😃 Tough love for you pookie 💔 But dw, she'll change... When you manage to impress her with your cooking skills, of course 😇 Extra An: Pooks, if ya'll want more... 🤭 Comment which characters you want to see in this series or request other stuff that you want to see... The more KRAZY 🤪 it is, the more likely I am able to EAT 🍴 it up (Though, your pooks wouldn't be active much/still brewing some ideas 🧍‍♀️) TOODLES!

[sardix]

WOTFI 2024 Bingo results

If you didn't know @midnight1nk created a bingo map! (You can find the original post here). With these peoples ideas: /midnight1nk, /Sardix (me), @34saveme34 , @time1srunout , @porschas-palette , @yullalightk , @Nicc

Anyway, here are the results (and yes i am aware the picture looks a little off with colors but it's a printed out wersion with stars as stickers) + screenshots from the moments that I felt counted or not. And a reminder I was going off of the description of spaces and not their names. (However, If I put something in the wrong place tell me and I will fix it :), I am also always up for discussion)

Sadly we did not get Bingo but there will be plenty oportunities in the future

1. Mario ruins the show! (He did the final blow)

2. Karma (they did beat him although he didn't become something like Leggy)

3. Mr. Puzzle having a grudge against Smg4 - (I think this counts?)

5. It's gotta be perfect (IGBP) - (it wasn't really mentioned BUT this monster was present + the whole hate Smg4 gets that played an important role in IGBP) (add Photos from IGTBP)

6. Freak Show - it wasn't really said but they all got a whole makeover for the carnival show

7. Carnival-themed rap - this one doesn't need explaining (also it was a banger, I cannot stop listening to it)

8. The Bell tolls - I don't know if this counts or not, but I decided to put it here because there is like A LOT of "death" during the minigames. (I could put all the moments in here because of the picture limit)

9. Merch - I mean, it was gonna be for 100%; this time, tho mostly Mr.Puzzle teamed, which makes sense seeing his popularity in and outside the fandom.

10. Sacrifice - Meggy getting saved by Smg4 by using Mario (also my theory about Smg4 after the IGBP whenever angry getting suddenly super strong physically works, because he was FAST and you could see in his eyes the determination to not let any of his friends die again)

11. Meggy confronts - she does, in fact, confront him but doesn't really scold him for his wrongdoings. Still, I think that the interaction counted.

12. Brand new look - as shown before most of the cast gets a makeover, which are new look carnival-teamed

13. Puzzle Tune - it appears at the very beginning of the first song that Mr.Puzzle sings as Smg4 and Mario are in the boat

Now the stuff that I think didn't count and why:

1. Past arc or trauma - the trauma from past arcs wasn't mentioned unless you count Smg4 hate comments. Or Mr.Puzzles past but that's not really mentioning past arcs.

2. Park destroyed - it wasn't destroyed like Wren's lab, just got closed

3. Puzzles backstory - we got a scene where what was already shown in the Didney episode was explained; we didn't get any new info from the one we already knew.

4. Not so different - sadly, a scene like this does not happen no matter how much I wished it did. ( it sounds too good to be true.) BUT it may happen in the future.

5. (Ending) twist - Mr.Puzzle didn't reveal that he was behind the 2023 WOTFI, and I don't think Leggy 2.0 counts as a character foreshadowing, although Marty the cardboard became an actual character, so we never know.

6. Star Rating system - suprisingly it is never out right mentioned, Mr.Puzzle only mentions the destruction of his show.

7. Tenner tunnel - which I assume is just the tunnel of fun, but since it never is really shown, we cannot know for sure. It only kinda appears in the background

8. Smg4 kids - they didn't even appear in the background, so...

9. Puzzles dies - it is not his time yet, and it appears he has yet to play some really important roles in the story.

10. You saved me - to probably a lot of fans disapointment with Smg3 under control we did not get to see them interact other than fighting (Smg4 and Smg3).probably becouse of the movie being a litle shorter than usual (less than 30 minutes if you take out the merch talk) we did not get a scene with them even reuniting after being freed from the hypnotic state.

11. Dynamic change - some people would probably say that the dynamic between Mr.Puzzle and Meggy changed but from the beginning, we could see that deep inside she wanted to help or a part of her, and I do not mean Leggy (although I suppose it could count but for now I'm leaving it here)

12. Leggy's flag - honestly I'm not sure if it even appears, but it definitely did not play an important role

Bonus: They remembered the video where Smg4 became the clown king, aka where it was never resolved, so I think now it is officially canon and not just a one-time joke. (Please tell me I wasn't the only one who joticed that)

Well, would you look at that? We got 14 out of 25, not a bad score, I must say! And I'm sure we can't wait for what will come in the future

[lostcauses-noregrets]

As a veteran fangirl who only got into aot 2 years ago. I have been a massive fic reader for many fandoms over the years but the sheer number of long, detailed epics in the eruri fandom needs to be studied.

The number of long cinematic fics with indepth world building that are crafted with sheer love and respect for the characters in this fandom is incredible. Usually a fandom is lucky to have few that becomes classics but there seems to be one in every corner here.

I am very grateful for your Tumblr which has been a massive archive of knowledge and guide to navigating this fandom.

Thank you so much Anon ♡ I didn't originally intend for my blog to become the Eruri archive when I first got into the series in 2015, but 9 years and 23K posts later, here we are!

You're not the first person to be struck by the sheer range of incredible writing in the Eruri fandom, to say nothing of the fanart. We've been blessed by so many amazingly talented writers over the years, and one of the most amazing things is that they just keep coming. Many people predicted the demise of the Eruri fandom when Erwin died, when the manga ended, when then final anime episode aired, but the fandom is still thriving and new writers are posting fic every month.

However as you rightly pointed out, it's not just the quantity of the fic that's remarkable, it's the quality of the writing, the characterisation and the world building. I have a few of my own theories as to why that should be. First of all the canon material is a gift. Erwin and Levi are both mature adult characters with considerable depth and nuance and their canon relationship (regardless of whether you view it as romantic or not) is intertwined with the plot. It doesn't hurt that both of them have tragic backstories and then of course there's Erwin's internal conflict, heroic sacrifice and Levi's determination to fulfil vow. Honestly what more could you ask for from a ship?? It's no surprise that 3 of the 5 most popular manga chapters chosen by readers of Bessatsu Shonen manga focus on Erwin and Levi's relationship. They really are just that good.

I also think that because Erwin and Levi are both adults, rather than typical teenage shonen protagonists, that they attract a slightly older fanbase. That's not to say that younger fans can't be amazing writers of course, many are, but I think older fans often have a range of life experience that they can bring to their writing. Also I know for a fact that there are many Eruri authors who have successful professional careers and are published authors in other fields including technical writers, academics, researchers, historians, poets, journalists and more.

I've lost count of the number of times I've heard fans say that the Eruri fandom has spoiled them because of the quality and range of the fic and art, and honestly, it's hard to disagree. I regularly re-read fics that were written a decade ago and the characterisation is still pitch perfect. Some of them even pre-empt canon events that appeared in the manga years later. At the same time, I'm discovering new authors every week who are writing heart breaking fics that provide new insight into these characters who I've loved for so long. The Eruri fandom really is one in a million and I'm very grateful it's been such an important part of my life for so long. I'm glad you're able to enjoy it too ♡

[knightmareaceblue]

I had an idea for an animation vs. DnD type thing. Don't know if I'm going to do anything with it, but I liked the concept and characters I came up with for it, so I decided to draw them.

Some notes:

-TSC is the DM, and thus doesn't have a character. Green's character Limerick, however, has a twin sister in his backstory, so with Green's permission Second designed her to look like them. It looks like the two have matching headbands, but actually Limerick is just wearing Melody's. :(

-As a DM, Second is very good at weaving together a world and story, and successfully ties everyone's backstories in with the main plot. They are also, however, a bit controlling and easily annoyed. Red and Purple often get things thrown at them by Second for going too off track or just being plain stupid.

-Blue's character Azure (neutral good) is technically the party leader, having been the one to gather the party and issue the main quest. They are not, however, very good at keeping the party on track. Especially Spark and Amethyst.

-Limerick is a true neutral bard that got double classed as a fighter when the sticks realized they didn't have a lot of physical fighters in their party. He's also the most stand-offish member of the group.

-Yellow's character Spark was originally going to be a chaotic evil character, but some pouting and pleading from Red and Blue caused them to relent and change to chaotic neutral. They were a little annoyed about this, but whatever.

-All of the characters' backstories take a little influence from their actual lives. Red's druid/ranger Carmine (chaotic good), however, is the one where it's most obvious, having spent much of their childhood being possessed by a forest god before breaking free, fighting them, and then the two coming to a truce and the forest god training Carmine in the art of the druid. It may look like he's wearing fur pants, but they're actually made of leaves.

-When being handed a character sheet for a rouge, Purple demanded to know why everyone assumed they'd pick that class. Red, who had been sent to get them, responded, "Well, what else would you be?" Purple couldn't respond and just huffily filled out the character sheet. Their character Amethyst is a chaotic neutral.

-MT was a last minute edition to the game, having been guilt-tripped/emotionally manipulated by Purple into joining. His barbarian Bronze seems like a chaotic neutral, but they're actually lawful neutral: They just follow barbarian law instead of the law of the country. TSC is the only one aware of this, and silently finds it hilarious.

Some Shenanigans:

-Each party member has their own motive to join Azure's quest to save the world: Bronze because of honour and also this kid's stupid and will get themselves killed if they let them go alone, Carmine because the world-ending quest has put the forest and the forest god in danger and he wants to save them, Amethyst for the promise of safety and security afterwords, Spark because research for her magical weapons, and Limerick because Azure agreed to help him with a personal matter in exchange.

-Limerick originally didn't start out with a cape. Upon realizing every other character had a cape however (Yellow tried to argue that Spark's poncho thing didn't count, but Green said it counted in spirit), they decided Limerick had to have one too. TSC said that since character creation is over, they'd have to buy a cape at the nearby town. This caused Green to get annoyed and reject every cape they 'found' in the shops. It went on like this for a while until TSC got bored and turned it into an insane side quest, complete with a vampire mafia. Limerick staked the boss vampire and stole their cape.

-Bronze is a hunter; Carmine is a vegan. They get into quite a few arguments because of this and more than once Carmine would sabotage Bronze's hunts and get them into trouble with whatever the highest level monster in the area was. Consequentially, Bronze is a little better at stealth than your average barbarian.

-Purple has a bad habit of taking inter-party conflict too personally, and at some points gets legitimately upset. They repeated have to be reminded that it's just a game, and occasionally Second will call timeout for them to cool off.

-Every weapon except Limerick's lute has a magical gem on it to enhance it's abilities. Spark has stolen the gem off every weapon except Amethyst's Golden Moon Dagger (which they can never pass the check to steal) at least once for their magical experiments.

-The most loyal, trustworthy, and responsible member of the party is Bronze. Everyone but Purple finds this surprising. The second most is Azure, but they're incredibly naive and keep getting the party into trouble by trying to help people.

-Yellow wants their character to betray the party at some point, and then have a redemption arc. Second is the only one who knows about this, and they're all for it.

-Green is convinced the campaign will have a happy ending, because 'Sec is a sucker.' He isn't wrong.

[bg-11]

Ripping into TCW's A Friend in Need, in which every character is awful.

I'm going to be upfront about this: I do not care for TCW, I never really have. See, I've always been a big stickler for continuity, even as a kid, and by this point there was *plenty* of Clone Wars related content that had been set across the whole 3 years of the war. The big issue of course was always Ahsoka, who of course just couldn't neatly slot into that timeframe at all because there were already plenty of comics that made it clear that Anakin never had a Padawan. She was a square peg the writers of TCW had jammed into a square hole. Of course, Ahsoka wasn't the only example, it was clear the writers never really gave a shit about what other, better writers had already established, and so retcons and continuity errors were rife with the series, only increasing as it continued. Exactly the kind of thing I was leery about. I was willing to give it a chance when it first came out, but that optimistic goodwill didn't really last too long.

I watched it on-and-off when it came out to check it out, I didn't want to judge it without having seen it. It was the same when I heard about how obnoxious Karen Traviss' Republic Commando series was, I wanted to see if that was as bad as people were saying it was (it was worse). By Season 4, I was pretty ready to write it off, the retcons were getting bigger and bigger (Even Piell getting killed off before his Canon death in Coruscant Nights, changing Asajj Ventress' backstory and fate contrary to what it was in the Republic comics, treating the Nightsisters as if they were literal witches who could use actual magic, the list goes on, but those were my biggest gripes). One episode that stood out to me though, was A Friend in Need, an episode in which pretty much everyone except for Artoo is stupid, malicious or both. At the time, I thought it was the worst episode of TCW yet. Has that changed since then? Yeah, but I'd still count this episode as the dumbest.

For whatever reason, the episode popped into my head recently after...I don't know how long its been, relatively shortly after the episode aired, I guess? And, I don't know, I guess I wanted to take a jab at picking it apart? I've never really done this before, there've been a couple of times when I've wanted to examine bad media, but for whatever reason, I never really got to it. So, fuck it, better late than never, I guess. So, I rewatched the episode to get it fresh in my mind. As the old EU was still Canon when this aired, I'm putting it through the lens of it still being Canon when I talk about it.

There's a good reason why my friends call me a masochist, I guess.

Things start out on Mandalore, where Ahsoka is escorting Padme, Bail and Mon Mothma in talks with representatives from the Separatist Senate when Lux Bonteri walks in. When I first watched A Friend in Need, I had missed Lux's Introductory episode which also introduced the Separatist Senate, so I was a little confused here. Confused because prior to TCW, there wasn't a Separatist Senate, the Confederacy was solely ruled over by the Separatist Council. Now, there's commentary from Filoni that apparently, the EU writers had misunderstood the purpose of the Separatist Council, that no, they weren't the leaders of the CIS, and that the megacorporation's who made up the CIS were just neutral parties. I have two issues with that, first being that I trust Dave "I sincerely believe this man wants to fuck wolves" Filoni's word about as far as I can throw his furry ass, and two, that isn't how it comes across in the movies at all.

The leaders of the Trade Federation, Intergalactic Banking Clan, Techno Union and Commerce Guild are all present, outright saying they're pledging their alliance and their armies to the Separatist cause. That they're apparently neutral, uninvolved parties doesn't gel at all, it just seems like a clumsy retcon to me. One of many.

But anyway...

Lux busts in and causes a scene, accusing Count Dooku of murdering his mother, so the Separatist senators have their guards drag him away. Ahsoka, concerned, gets permission from Padme to follow him, as long as she's discrete. Lux is dragged back to the Separatist's shuttle, where a hologram of Dooku appears to gloat a bit, before telling the droids to execute Lux. Why he doesn't just use the Force to choke him, I don't know, all you need is line of sight.

Now, I'd actually misremembered how this scene went down. In my memory, Lux dropped an ion grenade to disable the droids and *then* Ahsoka showed up. Apparently my flawed memory made Lux more competent then he actually is in the episode. How was he actually planning on getting away? We'll get back to that in a moment, but for right now, he's at the battle droid's mercy.

And then Ahsoka intervenes.

Here's another issue I had with Ahsoka, her characterisation. There were a couple of moments that stuck with me that I think are relevant here.

Season 1, episode 19, Storm Over Ryloth: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.

Season 2, episode 1, Holocron Heist: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.

This episode? Ahsoka is a reckless, headstrong idiot who forces her way into a hostile situation, gets the attraction of a bunch of armed droids and leads them back towards the Senate Guards who are stationed at the Republic shuttle, quickly alerts the unaware men that some pissed off droids are on her tail, then boards the shuttle, takes off and flees back to Coruscant, abandoning the Senators she was supposed to be escorting *and* the Senate Guards who are now taking the heat for her.

Ahsoka is such a shitty bodyguard, Jesus Christ. Getting Lux to safety is a priority, fine, but why does she need to board the ship herself and flee the system entirely? Why not just have Lux board the ship, then go back to help the Senate Guards deal with the battle droids that she *led* there in the first place? They're not just regular battle droids either, they're droid commandos who are supposed to be a lot tougher and smarter than the standard B1 battle droids. We don't see the outcome of this fight, so I presume the Senate Guards won, which, good thing. Because Ahsoka abandoned the Senators she was supposed to be watching over, and I genuinely wouldn't put it past the Separatists to pull something now that these peace talks have collapsed because of what Ahsoka did. They were never going to work out anyway of course, given Sidious' whole purpose behind the Clone Wars, but the characters aren't aware of that.

Anakin gets in contact and when Lux tries to apologise with "Master Jedi, I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble." ("If" you caused trouble? "If"?)

Ahsoka tries to brush it off with "It's nothing." Uh, no, it's not. See the above paragraphs for why it *is* a big deal, and I can't see Anakin of all people being too happy with Padme being left in a dangerous situation like that. But I guess we're brushing past that, cool.

Ahsoka points out how dumb Lux's plan was, saying he would have been killed if she hadn't intervened (true). Then Lux says no, actually, he *did* have a plan, then he pulls out a taser and stuns Ahsoka. Seriously? His plan was to go in, confront Dooku, hoping that he'd send a transmission just to gloat (apparently he "knew" he would, but why? He could just have easily been shot by the battle droids), and he went in there armed with a dinky little taser? Brilliant plan, I'm sure that would have done *wonders* against a squad of droid commandos all armed with blasters.

Ahsoka wakes up hours later aboard the shuttle with just Artoo, her lightsabers missing. She goes out to talk to Lux and finds out the contacts he's meeting are the Death Watch, that Mandalorian supremacist group of terrorists who are awful even by Mandalorian standards.

Jesus Christ, Lux is so fucking stupid.

Despite Ahsoka attempting to tell him that they're bad news, he keeps brushing it off because they *also* hate Dooku, so it'll be fine. Back aboard the ship, Artoo finds Ahsoka's lightsabers tucked away in a random drawer. So, if she had bothered to look for them, she would have found them in the space of five minutes. My God, she is useless. These two deserve each other, I swear.

Oh, and we meet Bo-Katan for the first time.

Awful, *evil* Bo-Katan.

On the ride back, Lux reveals he had a way to track Dooku's location through his communication.

Serenno. He was probably on Serenno, his homeworld of Serenno, where he has a mansion on Serenno, Serenno on which he is a Count. This isn't exactly hidden knowledge.

They go back to the Death Watch compound. see them using kitbashed battle droids as target practice and Ahsoka is marched off while Lux talks to their leader, Pre Vizsla. Apparently, he has beef with Dooku now and the Count gave him a scar. Which, first thing, if Dooku had wanted him dead, he'd be dead. Second, I actually don't remember those two falling out, so I looked it up and apparently it happens entirely offscreen between his last appearance and now, so whatever, I guess. Also, Vizsla threatens to cut up Lux if he doesn't hand over the tracer, and Lux seems pretty fine with that. Brilliant, that one, real smart.

Ahsoka gets thrown in with a hut full of enslaved women from a nearby village. Great people, those Mandalorians. Artoo, meanwhile, is taken to the droid shack and told to fix up the damaged battle droids so they can be used as target practice again. They don't even slap a restraining bolt on him, they just leave him to his own devices. Which, in this case, happens to be a room full of battle droids, several of which actually still have blasters in repairable condition as we'll see later.

Well, the Mandalorians are rock stupid, so I suppose I can't complain *that's* out of character.

Big feast is held, now Lux can see with his own eyes that the Death Watch are using the local women as slaves...but he doesn't seem to give much of a shit about it, even as Ahsoka keeps trying to point out how awful his allies are. It's at that point the village elder shows up and demands Viszla let his people go. He did this unarmed, with his only support being two other unarmed villagers, walking into a camp full of hostile people who had already taken the village's women as slaves and expected things to go well for him. When Vizsla agrees in the most sinister way possible, with several other Death Watch members openly snickering about it, the elder thinks all is well and Lux even says: "You see? They're not the butchers you make them out to be."

I...Jesus Christ, they were using the local women as slaves, but you're fine with that so long as they take them back when they're done? Lux has to be the stupidest character in this series, I swear. There is exactly one smart person this entire episode and it's Artoo.

Next day, the Death Watch take the enslaved women back to their village, the Elder thanking him for it.

And then he takes out his stupid edgesaber and stabs the man's granddaughter in front of him. Can't help but feel this would have been more impactful if obvious sacrificial lamb character had more than a minute of screentime, but okay, its awful and its typical Mando behaviour. For good measure they start torching the village and maybe set one villager on fire. And much to my shock, Lux finally gets it. I was half expecting him to brush it off as them setting fires to keep the villagers warm. Ahsoka seems to impale a guy with a blunt pole, before getting tied up. And then they drag her back to their camp from their speeder...yeah, Ahsoka should be dead.

Then Lux says this...

"I believed you had honour, but you're just murderers."

What possibly led you to think that conclusion, you absolute dumbass? This whole time, Vizsla has been acting as blatantly sinister and creepy as Dick Dastardly, if he had a moustache he'd be twirling it. Lux seems like the kind of character who needs to be told not to drink drain-cleaner, I swear to God.

As Vizsla is preparing to deal with Idiot and Useless, Artoo shows up with an army of kitbashed droids...and like I said either, a few of them have working blasters. Literally the only competent character, I swear. Artoo gives Ahsoka her lightsabers back, and Vizsla decides to duel her one-on-one, because like every Mando, he has a totally unearned superiority complex. She ends up slicing his jetpack and he doesn't even notice until Ahsoka points it out to him. How did he not hear her hit it? How did he not feel that? In the confusion of the exploding jetpack, Dumb and Dumber manage to escape, chased by Bo-Katan, but they get away.

Then Lux fucks off in the escape pod, the end.

And apparently the next time Ahsoka runs into Bo-Katan, they're besties and join forces to free Mandalore. Guess Ahsoka kinda forgot about the whole slavery, village torching and innocent people she murdered, huh? Yeah, guess so. Bo-Katan fucking sucks, she doesn't get a redemption, the narrative just wants you to forget all the atrocities she commits because she doesn't want Maul to be her leader. Zuko she ain't.

Ahsoka majorly screws up her assignment, puts senators in danger and gets some guards killed, Lux is so braindead that he blindly trusts the most obviously evil pack of killers he could find. I'd say he needs a helmet, but I don't think its possible for him to get anymore brain damage.

TCW is massively overrated, this is a hill I will die on.

[renren-006]

Hi! Can you write a request for dead reckoning Ethan Hunt? Maybe something where the team, Ethan and the reader are on the mission looking for the key (reader and Ethan are a couple). The mission turns out well. Ethan gets the two parts of the key, but just when he is about to go back to the rest of the team, Benji tells him that the ‘bad guys’ took the reader and Ethan feel his whole world falling and he is willing to risk the whole mission to save the reader.

After fighting a lot of men, he finally finds the reader in the hands of Gabriel and Ethan fights Gabriel with all the hate in his heart for hurting the one he loves.

Then Ethan goes to the reader and he is just really sweet and tender comforting her and asking if she’s okay and he is just happy that she’s alright.

I really hope you can understand, I’m not the best with words😩

It’s totally fine if you don’t want to! Thanx!

Reckoning | Ethan Hunt x Reader

word count: 1972

warning: fluff, good backstory, action, kiddnapping and blood

a/n: hey hey!! yesss!! thank you so much for requesting something!! i loved the movie and i thought about like a love interest other than Ilsa (i do love her character) in the movie!! hope you enjoy!

(for the gif, your ilsa!)

“So, you need my help?” you asked Benji, Luthor and Ilsa who were all three sitting across from you at a coffee shop in Italy. You had been there a few days, tracking Ethan after he told you to go off the radar but you were never one to follow orders, even from the man you loved. 

“In short yes” benji said, “Ethan doesn't know any of us are looking for him”

“Of course he doesn't” You said, sighing, your purse hung on the back of your chair, which you picked up. You dug around for some money for the table. “So when are we leaving?” you asked. Benji smiled.

“He's going to be mad when he realizes we got you involved,” Ilsa told you. She flung her arm between yours as you walked out. The two of you had become close in the years since you first met. Years since Illsa first realized that Ethan already had the one he loved and that's why he never would have left with her. Once she found me and apologized, I told her that I could use a friend like her, someone who trusted Ethan, and who would fight with him. You and her had your own ways of keeping in contact with one another. 

“I know, but that's just something he'll have to deal with,” you told her. She smiled and the four of you walked out to get ready to go and track down Ethan, which was simple enough seeing as multiple different people were after him in Rome. When you managed to pinpoint his location and get him into the truck he was quite surprised at the gang in the car and soon more surprised by you sitting in the seat next to Luthor. 

Ethan stood on the balcony of the building you all took up residence in. The golden sky shone over Venice and created a lumenus look to Ethan. When he noticed your presence a wide smile replaced the solom one he had. 

“I didn't want you involved with this Y/N” Ethan told you, you laughed slightly as you walked into his arms. 

“I know” you told him, hugging him hard, “i love you too much to let you handle this on your own” 

“I love you too Y/N” Ethan told you. The two of you had been together for years. It started when you joined the mission during the collapse of the IMF after the bomb at the Kremlin. You were a friend of Benjis and he wanted your help with the team so you promised to meet at the train station before it left. So when you met Ethan that night and continued to work together, you couldn't help the developing feelings that you had. You knew about the truth of his ex-wife and you knew he had moved on. You knew this because Ethan told you the first night in that train car. You had sat atop the car that night, couldn't sleep after knowing that you were about to stop a nuclear attack. When Ethan joined you he told you, spilling everything he had been thinking about because he said he needed a friend and that you were new, knew almost nothing about him, and for some reason trusted you. You were friends for a bit but then you told him you loved him and he took you out to some nic restaurant and told you he loved you too. 

“I'm going with you to that meeting tonight,” you told him. Ethans face paled at the thought of you there with Gabrial and the others, it made his skin crawl. 

“I can't let you go, hunny if something happens to you…''Ethan said, begging almost that you didn't follow him into the White Widows den. “Nothing will, Ilsa will be there, she wont let something bad happen to me” You told him, holding his face to look at you. “Nothing bad will happen to me”

Ethan, you and Ilsa turned up at the meeting that night. You wore an old dress Ethan gave for missions, something easy to run and fight in, but also something fitting. It was a blue dress, almost silk. You walked into the party, your arm through Ethans as you walked around looking for Grace. Once you found her, and the rest of the party arrived for that special little meeting the night turned sour and memoryless. After the meeting commenced and Gabrial decided that your life was one he's considered ending for the sake of divinity and driving Ethan crazy you knew your promise to him was going to be broken. 

“You choose the girl, or you can let her die the pretty one with the dress” Gabrial said, eying you up. He knew how he could have known. Ethan stuterd and glanced between you and Grace. Ilsa sat there shocked, wondering what her life was worth and seemingly nothing in Gabriel's eyes. As he walked away you remember the hatred in his eyes towards Gabriel. 

You didn't remember how Gabriel got you alone in that halfway with five other men around you, but it happened. Ethan was off somewhere and Ilsa was too, it was just you in that hallway. You reached down to your thigh grabbing the knife you had there. You readied yourself for the men that were coming after you, one after another you took them down, slice, punch, kick, slice, punch, kick slice. You were remarkable with a knife and hand to hand combat. When it was Gabriel walking towards you, two knives in hand you knew you had to fight to stay alive. The two of you slashed and jabbed, your arms cut and bruised, your sides kicked and stabbed. You were limping, barely able to hold yourself up and your dress now had several slashes in them revealing your skin underneath. That fight ended with you dropping unconscious. 

Ethan was chasing after Grace while Ilsa was on the Widow getting her half of the key. Once they both had their respective keys and the other party seemingly unhappy, they met up and connected the key. 

“Ethan” Benji's voice sounded over the radio waves. 

“Talk to me,” Ethan said. The static over the radio was deafening.

“They got Y/N” Benji said. The deafening silence that followed made Ilsa tense. Her friend and the love of Ethans life was taken from both of them. Ethans whole world felt like it was crumbling away. “Gabriel is heading twords a bridge” Benjis voice broke ethan out of his inner thoughts. He looked up hatred clear on his face. 

“Benji, get me there now” He said running off, Ilsa still standing with the key in hand. “Ilsa get that to Luthor” and he was gone. Ilsa ran back to Luthor Key, placed safely in his hands. 

“Ilsa, you need to stop Ethan, if he kills Gabriel then we might not know what this leads to and how to kill the entity” Ilsa stopped from walking away, knowing that if she stopped ethan form the revenge he seeks for his past and for his lover right now, he could hate Ilsa for the rest of his life. “Promise me you'll stop him”

“If it means stopping the entity, then ill do it” Ilsa said, “but he wont like me taking…”

“I know, but revenge comes later,” Luthor told her. Grace sat peacefully in the chair across from him, worrying over her life and the lives of those set back out to fight gabriel. Once she had given the key to Ethan she raced back to the safe space of this room after being instructed to. She didn't want to run anymore, not after everything her life had led her too. 

Ethan raced down the paths that Benji gave him, and soon he reached the bridge. There he saw you a knife to your throat, wounds on your skin and Gabriel behind you. Your neck was twisted at an uncomfortable angle while he dig the knife further in, little drops of blood seeping out form under the knife. You lipped when Gabriel walked or studdard in his moves, you were in a great deal of pain and you wanted to lie down. Ethan's view turned red at the sight of you. He wanted to kill Gabriel and Ilsa was still blocks away from the bridge. Ethan walked up the bridge, jacket forgotten at the bottom. At first Gabriel tried to use you as a way to deter Ethan, but with your injuries you only made Gabriel weaker. He threw you down onto the concrete, making you get a splitting headache from the contact with the concrete. Ethans rage only intensified and the fight began, no guns, onl knoves and fists. 

The fight went on for ever, your vision got blurry and blurier and the blood you had leaking from your wounds only intensified. Ethan was running out of time to sve you if he wanted you alive. Ilsa was closer racing faster towards the fight, and faster twords stipping Ethan from killing the only informant they had for the key. Ethan only say hate and anger as he fought Gabriel. He hurt the woman he loved and almost killed her infront of him. He wanted to end the life of the man who made his life spiral, and sent him to be the spy and international rogue agent he was. 

“Stop!” Ilsa yelled as she came across the bridge, stopping all movement from Ethan and Gabriel. Before ethan tried to stap Gabrial and Ilsa had to run towards the fight again, Ethan wouldn't let you, too blinded by rage. Illsa stepped in taking the brunt of  a blade but shocking the two enough that she got a good hit on Gabrial sending him down and cuffign him. Ethan stood there, helpless and watching.

“Go get Y/N, Ethan” Ilsa said as she secured the man before Ehtan. Snapping Ethan out of his trance he ran over to you. You were barely continuous at this point, and bleeding onto the concrete of the bridge. 

“Y/N” He said to you, barely hearing the ringing in your ears. It was Ethan, you were positive. Your eyes slightly opened to see his worries. face. “Stay with me. Stay with me” He said again, muttering the words to himself like they will help you stay alive. You smiled and closed your eyes again, knowing you wouldn't die on that bridge tonight. 

When you woke up back in the little room of the safe house, your body killing you, you knew they had won. The feeling and overall pain in your body was almost exhausting as you sat up. Ethan stood by the balcony door, watching the sunrise over Venice. 

“Ethan” you said, voice horse and head pounding you watched him turn to look at you, a small cut on his cheek held together by tiny bandages. He walked over to you, sitting on the bed beside you. The morning sun shone into the room, casting  aglow to the room. Ethan looked tired and he looked happy.

“You scared me” he told you, holding your face, you melted into his hands. 

“I'm sorry, I held out for as long as I could. He's calculated,” you told Ethan. 

“I know, I fought him too sweetheart,” Ethan said, cracking a joke. As the sun rose higher in the sky you could truly see how saddened he was by how hurt you were.

“Your my hero Ethan” you told him, he smiled down at you, soon all the sadness was replaced by joy. He had you in his arms again. 

“Let's go home shall we?” Ethan asked you, just as the sun rose over the buildings and a new day, full of more savings to do.