#But sometimes I wonder what would have happened if it would be a bit more comic akkurat

[the-secret-keeper]

Where MC Tells the Obey Me Brothers About How Horribly They Were Treated in Twisted Wonderland

This was requested by @sweetlicorice I hope you like it! It was taking longer than expected, so I only did the brothers, but I will do the dateables in a part 2, don't worry.

TW: Talk of being Overworked and Burnt Out, Abuse of Power, Very Angry Demons (but not at you), mental breakdowns, missing a pet (he's not dead, don't worry), and nightmares

Reader is referred to as MC by the characters (though I don't think they say it here) and MC is gender neutral, but this is mostly in second person, so for the majority of the story you'll be referred to as 'You' by the narrator.

Characters include: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Satan, Beelzebub, and Belphegor

Could be read as romantic or platonic

This will be long, so the stories under the cut

This is organized by character, with a bit of context at the beginning. Enjoy!

First, it was a coffin. You were kidnapped by a horse-drawn hearse, woke up in a coffin, in another world. A world of magic, and wonder, but also one of pain, as you quickly learned. But you met people. You made friends, allies, and you were learning, even if you couldn't use magic.

And then, it was you landing rather harshly in a room that looked like an old-time, very fancy courtroom, surrounding by tall and intimidating looking young men. It was soon explained to you that you were in the Devildom, and were an exchange student, one that would be living with the Seven Deadly Sins for your own protection.

You didn't know what to feel. Gratitude for the much improved living conditions? Fear for living with a bunch of demons and going to school with demons that would likely have no qualms with snapping you in two if you stepped out of line? Sadness for the friends that you don't know how to get back to? Upset for being forced to leave the place you were finally starting to feel like you fit in at and having to leave Grim? It was a whirlwind inside, and for a time, that's where it stayed. Kept inside.

Slowly, the Devildom revealed to have similar problems as Twisted Wonderland, in the fact that it seems everyone in power here, aside from Diavolo and Barbatos, would like you to die.

Most of the brothers tried to kill you. One of them succeeded! Congrats to them you guess, though, no offense to Belphie, you don't think it was particularly hard for a demon to kill a human.

Through all of this, you got closer to those you were staying with, even forgiving Belphegor after everything. It only made sense that eventually, what happened to you, you started to open up to them about your past. About those that you met and bonded with, all that had been put onto you, and all that was different.

Lucifer:

You were in his office, as you did somewhat often. It was quieter in there than it was in most of the house, and no one would bother you if you were with him. Plus, sometimes he would let you take care of some of his paperwork, just the stuff that wasn't too sensitive or important, but it lightened his load a bit.

"Why do you insist upon helping me?" He asked, not looking up from his paper, as you looked at your own.

"I'm used to doing more work, and if it makes your job easier, then I don't mind." You shrugged.

"More work? Do you mean like a job?" He asked, somewhat curious. Your file had listed a lot, but you had, apparently, been missing for a while when you were brought to the Devildom, so he didn't know what you had been doing before coming there.

"Something like that." You vaguely answered, finishing a paper.

"I am always here if you need to talk." He glanced up at you, as you pulled out your homework instead.

"Thank you."

A comfortable silence fell over the you two. The ambiance of the fireplace, paired with the low volume on the record he was playing, along with the light scratching of his pen, was calming. His office was always dimly lit, enough to see easily, but also darker than the average room.

It was a quiet environment that reminded you of the days when you would sit in the office of Crewel, him taking pity on the amount of work shoved on you and attempting to help at least a little. Or the days when you would study with Ace and Deuce in the Heartslabyul Common Room, Riddle sitting nearby doing his own paperwork, and Grim resting lazily along your shoulders. It was comforting, yet sad, at the same time.

"Back, in the place where I was," you started softly after a few moments of silence, "there was more that was required of me."

"In what way?" He asked, and though you couldn't tell, off in your own world, he had stopped doing his paperwork to focus on what you were saying, fully enraptured in wanting to know your backstory.

"The headmaster, at my last school, his name was Dire Crowley. And he was terrible at his job." You laughed bitterly. "I showed up there one day, against my will, and practically started running the place once he thought I could handle it, or when he was certain I wouldn't complain." You glared at your paper, thinking back on all that was unfairly thrown at you.

"Like what?"

"Paperwork, was the majority." You answered without thinking. "But there were.... others."

"Others?" He prompted after a few moments of a now, much tenser, silence.

"Your demon form is scary." You looked at him, making eye contact. "But it is not as scary as facing seven Overblots within the span of a year."

"Overblots?"

"The manifestation of out of control magic and strong negative emotions that result in the transformation of the magic user, and the creation of a sort of monster. The magic user loses control of their entire being, and it's very taxing on the magic user." Your eyes were glazed over as you seemed to recite the information with no emotion in your voice. "I don't blame them, for Overblotting, and losing control, the world is cruel. I do blame Dire Crowley, however, for making me responsible for dealing with them."

"That sounds dangerous, for someone without magic."

"It was." You agreed, still looking towards him.

Not at him, but through him, as if you weren't registering how much you were saying. This made him all the more concerned, as he got up and walked over to you, sitting beside you.

"I was also responsible for whatever Dire Crowley wanted me to do. Feed the fireplaces over winter break, find out why our sports players are getting injured, stop that one student from taking over the student body, house these people for this inter-school competition, and on, and on." You listed, beginning to spiral. "I practically ran that school. Me! A magicless human who had no idea what they were doing or where they were or how to handle what was happening to me. He stuck me in a shack, filled with mildew, and mold, that was covered in dust, infested with ghosts, and falling apart at the seams with a fire-breathing cat. And he didn't even make me a student at first!" You looked at Lucifer, tears pricking your eyes. "I was a janitor! And when another student got myself, Grim, and another student in trouble, he was going to throw me out! Onto the streets with no understanding of the world, how it functions, or anything at all!"

Lucifer nodded, trying to get you to calm down silently, wanting to hear about your past, even though it was painful.

"And he'd threaten me, Lucifer! He'd threaten my housing, my food budget, and I had no means of income! I couldn't pay for myself in any regard, I was completely dependent on him! I was his little puppet. The puppet of the 'oh so gracious Dire Crowley'." You began to sob as emotions started to overcome you, them all spilling out as you finally let yourself feel safe enough to feel these emotions. "I was so scared! About what would happen to me, and my friends. I didn't know what the next day would bring."

He brought you into his chest, hugging you tightly, and allowing your tears to stain his red vest. He let you sob and weep as you finally allowed yourself to process the emotions you'd been keeping inside this whole time. He kept his breathing even, trying to get you to match it subconsciously, and he gently rocked you, trying to calm you down as best he could.

"I miss Grim!" You cried out, into his chest. "I miss him so much that it hurts. I feel so anxious without him around."

He didn't ask who Grim was, but he knew it was someone important. He'd ask you about it when you were calmer, for now, he'd just let you cry to your hearts content. It had been a long time since someone had come to him, and allowed him to see them crying, but he didn't mind it so much when it was you. He took pride in being someone you felt safe enough to cry around.

No more paperwork got done that night, but he didn't care. You were more important at that point in time, and Diavolo would understand, he assured you of this, when you tried to apologize for taking up his time and crying on him. He brought up that Diavolo would be more mad if he hadn't comforted you, which made you laugh. You were so tired from crying that not long after you calmed down, you drifted off in Lucifer's arms, on the couch in his office.

Mammon: 

You were hanging out in Mammon's room one night, trying to help him study. Mammon was a lot smarter than a lot of people gave him credit for, the main issue you were having was the effort in which he was putting in. Which was zero. He was much more interested in his video game than his homework, despite the fact that Lucifer had threatened to string him up from the ceiling should he not get a satisfactory grade.

It was almost nice, how familiar this felt. The arguing with him about studying gave you a nostalgic feeling, for when you would study with your First Year friend group, and you would try to pry Ace away from his video games. It was never effective, much like now, but the nostalgia made you keep trying to convince him.

Mammon himself didn't seem to notice the effect this was having on you, too focused on his video game. Not that you cared, better for him to remain oblivious that try to pry your secrets out of you.

You sighed, closing the textbooks that you had brought in, accepting the fate of his grade, and making a mental note to find a spot to at least try to hide him from Lucifer. You watched as he played the game for just a few more minutes before you crawled over, sitting beside him as he played, watching the screen.

"Why're ya so good at homework in the Devildom anyway?" He asked, in the blunt way he normally does.

"Diavolo adjusted my curriculum because I don't know much about the Devildom, so I get assignments that are easier." You admitted, leaning against him, your head resting on his shoulder. "I appreciate it, my last headmaster wasn't nearly so accommodating." You mumbled bitterly, thinking back on that incompetent headmaster.

"Really? How's that?" He asked, only half-paying attention, as he spam-clicked the button on the controller to his video game.

"Eh, don't think too much about it. Crowley was stupid, and though he claims he was gracious, he was really anything but. At least to me."

"What's 'at supposed to mean?" He asked before exclaiming nonsensical, frustrated sounds at his loss in the video game.

"I was basically his Barbatos, but I wasn't paid. Hell," You laughed mirthfully, "what money I was supposed to get was threatened, actually. More than once."

"Really?"

His attention was still diverted, and you noticed this. He was likely only wanting to hear your voice for background noise while he played, but you didn't mind so much. At least now you can say you told someone. Even if he wasn't listening.

"Yeah, Crowley threatened my food and housing budget more than once. And he'd push all his work onto me, even though I really shouldn't have had that much responsibility put on me. After all, I was someone without magic in a magic-teaching school, from another world. I didn't know anything." You shrugged lightly, trying not to move Mammon's arm too much, because your head was still resting on his shoulder. "I can't say I miss that part of it."

"What do ya miss then?" He asked, eyes still glued to the screen.

"My friends. I had a group of friends that were pretty tight-knit. Trauma bonded, more like it." You laughed. "And Grim. I miss Grim."

"Grim?"

"My cat."

"Ya sound like Satan."

"Grim was a special cat. He could use magic, and fly, and talk. You remind me of him sometimes." At that he finally paused the game to look at you.

"I, remind ya of... a cat?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah." You smiled, laughing lightly. "He was sarcastic, and demanding, and greedy. He called me Henchman, you call me Human." He rolled his eyes. "But underneath your... bravado, is a very nice person, who cares a lot. Grim and I... we only had each other. So it just makes sense that we bonded. I miss him, a lot. He used to sleep in my bed, and he'd always be there with me. I've been having trouble sleeping without him. It just feels like there's something missing." You admitted in a soft and sad tone. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

"I'll be yer Grim 'til we can convince Diavolo or Barbatos, or maybe Solomon to get yer cat." He said quietly, rubbing your upper arm. "Ya can sleep in here whenever ya need, ok?" You nodded. "Wanna watch a movie?" You smiled at him, nodding once more, as he turned the TV to one of the bajillion streaming services the family all pay for, because they share, and arguing with you about the best movie to watch.

Leviathan:

Leviathan was out in public with you, having gone to an anime themed event at a cafe in the Devildom. He was so excited, that you just couldn't resist when he asked if you wanted to go with. It was nice to hear him rant and ramble about all the things that he was passionate about.

"There's a cat in the anime that waitress is from! And he's super cool!" Levi started. "He can fly, and talk, and use magic. He's also very stubborn, like a donkey. But he's a favorite in the fandom because of how cute he is."

"I know someone like that." You mumbled without thinking, your mind wandering to your feline friend.

"You do?!" He asked excitedly.

"Yeah." You smiled. "His name was Grim, and he used to live with me, back in the time before."

"Really? Tell me more!"

"He wasn't super smart, or very hard working. He used to call me Henchman, and demand cans of tuna. But when it came down to it, Grim was the one I could rely on the most. But, that might also be because we literally couldn't leave each other." You told him.

"You couldn't?"

"No. I don't have magic, and he did. I'm human, he was a cat. The headmaster of my last school decided to be 'oh so gracious'," you quoted, making air quotes around his catchphrase, "and make the two of us one singular student, allowing us to attend his magic school."

"That seems... dumb. To say the least."

"It was." You deadpanned, before the both of you laughed. "He was a bad headmaster. Towards the end of my stay there, I was practically headmaster, just because of how much work he pushed onto me because he could. But while I was at that school I made friends. And I had Grim. Even if the situation I was in was less than ideal." You smiled as the waitress delivered the food you ordered, with a bundle of silverware.

"Ah. I bet you'd prefer them to an otaku like me."

"Not true!" You defended, pointing your fork at Leviathan. "I like you plenty fine, Levi. You actually remind me a lot of my friend Idia. But," you laughed awkwardly, "at least you leave the house sometimes, and aren't afraid of confrontation. Or, at least, you're not afraid to confront some people. Like your brothers." You set your fork down, stopping your silent threat at Levi, that wasn't actually very threatening to him.

"He was an otaku too?"

"Yes indeed, and a master gamer to boot."

"Better than me?"

"It's hard to say." You shrugged. "The games you guys play are similar, but different. It's not a fair comparison." He seemed placated by this answer. "Your brothers remind me of a lot of my friends from there." You said vaguely.

"Do you miss them?"

"Yeah. They're my friends, of course I miss them. And it's not like I know if and when I'll be able to see them again." You explained gently. "I don't miss the work though. Diavolo was nice and assigned me a tutor and easier assignments until I get the hang of the normal work here. And no one makes me do any extra work, or threatens my food or housing. Well, Lucifer threatens punishments sometimes, but he would never threaten my food or housing, and I won't get punished as long as I do my best and behave." You rambled, smiling at how nice it was here, compared to it was in Twisted Wonderland. "Plus, I have all of you, and Diavolo, and Barbatos, and the other exchange students. I miss my friends from there, and I really wish that I had Grim here with me. But I am happy here." You beamed.

"Maybe if we ask Lucifer, he may know how to get your cat." Leviathan suggested, smiling lightly.

"I would love that. He acts like Mammon, but he feels like an emotional support cat. And, I bet Satan would seriously love having him here too."

"You know, we're all here. If you want to talk."

"I know." You glanced around. "What anime is that cosplay from?" You asked, gesturing at another waitress, changing the subject.

He glanced, and started beaming, immediately launching into a rant about the anime it's from, and the character themself. It was nice that he didn't question the change in subject. You'd tell Levi and the others all about what happened to you, and about what Twisted Wonderland was like. Eventually. Maybe.

Asmodeus:

Saying Asmo was flirty, was an understatement. Possibly the understatement of the century. And while he flirted and charmed nearly every being in existence, he did understand consent, and took every no at face value, stopping when asked. Of course, it's a rejection, so at the beginning you had to explain that no, you're not rejecting him as a person, you like him plenty fine as a person, you just don't always want to be flirted with.

He still did it, but when you asked him to stop he'd make a show of whining about it, but stopping nonetheless. It was annoying, but he did take your 'no' seriously, so in the end it was kind of worth it. Asmo was good for conversation, and he knew all the gossip, so he was nice to hang out with.

You had mentioned a handful of times that he reminded you of someone where you were from where you used to live. But all he ever said in response was that there was no one like him. Which is true, as no one else could truly embody Lust like Asmodeus does.

He was doing a skincare night with you, when you brought it up again.

"You know a lot about skincare already, it's quite impressive." He complimented.

"Yeah, had a friend who took it very seriously." You agreed.

"Is this the same friend that I remind you of?"

"Tis." You smiled, gently rubbing the moisturizer onto his face. "He was an interesting man."

"Interesting man? Interesting how?"

"He was insanely hard working, yet it seemed no one saw that." You started, taking a deep breath. "He was an actor, and social media influencer. And he was talented. Extremely talented. He worked hard to get where he was, but he had the means to get there."

"Anything else I should know about this person?"

"Well, he was good at potions. And like, just as good if not better than Satan and Solomon, good. He had the harshest study routine, but it was worth it. Never failed a potions class if he was tutoring me. He didn't have much time to do so, but I was always grateful when he did." You thought back on the memories fondly, smiling, as you stopped rubbing the moisturizer into his skin, and moving onto the next step. "His methods were.... intense, to say the least." Your smile became strained, remembering the VDC. "But, they got the results he wanted, so I guess he didn't see much issue with it."

"Intense in what way?" Asmo asked, noting your tenseness.

"I was appointed manager for a dance team, an interschool competition thing, you know how competitive people can get." You shook your head lightly. "They all came to live in my dorm because it was mostly empty. But, despite me being manager, he decided I needed to follow the same diet as everyone else. My friends said it was a 'we're all in this together' thing, but I thought he was just being unreasonable. I mean, come on, hexing my food? That's just wasteful. And he didn't even pay me back. I didn't get much money for food in general, because I was the magicless student, and there he went, just wasting what I had." You laughed mirthfully, remembering your anger at the situation, and your frustration.

"Well, in his defense, if he was just looking out for you."

"I would have no problems if that were the case, Azzy." You slightly chastised, but it was playful, and held no real bite. "I took your diet in stride, didn't I?" He nodded in acknowledgement. "I would've been fine with it, if that were the case. But he never paid me back for the food that he hexed, or replaced it. I didn't have much, so no one being able to eat those foods, it was wasteful. I mean, it's not like I got much money, if any, from the school for dorm food, like every other dorm."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"I was the magicless student. The errand person. The pushover. The unpaid therapist or headmaster. Depends on the day." You sighed. "The headmaster didn't want to have to rewrite the budget to factor in an extra dorm, when it only had two students in it, that really only amounted to one student."

"Wait, I thought you've mentioned before that you had a roommate."

"I lived with a fire-breathing, flying, talking cat named Grim, who could use magic, and several ghosts. I say technically one student, because the ghosts were faculty members, technically, but Grim had magic, and I didn't, but I was human and Grim was a cat. So, when I popped out of the woodwork, with no magic, no identification, no way to go home, and no clue about how this world worked, the headmaster was 'oh so gracious'," you mocked, "and put us both in a run down dorm, enrolled as a single student."

"Run down?"

"I mean Run Down. It was called Ramshackle, by other students, and it certainly lived up to it's name. The heater didn't work, I had to curl up with Grimm under every blanket I could find in that house. It was caked in mold and mildew, and dust, until Crowley cleaned it for the VDC. I injured myself more than once." You pointed to a scar on your forearm, where you'd hurt yourself in an attempt to fix up your dorm. "I am, honestly, very grateful, for the opportunity to stay here, in much better conditions. I do miss my friends, and I miss Grim." You admitted.

"Is that why you named that stuffed animal Grim? I thought you were just taking after Mammon in your greed."

"I miss Grim." You stated simply. "He was always with me. We were inseparable. We fought, we bickered, but at the end of the day, I knew if there was one thing, one being, I could rely on consistently, it was Grim. He was my ride-or-die. I named my stuffed animal after him, because I have a hard time sleeping without him. Even just, relaxing, can be hard. I miss him, and I don't know if he's ok. I genuinely, worry about him. And I miss him so much, that it's hard to fully put into words."

"I'm sorry." He offered, and you just smiled at him.

There was not much more Asmodeus could say. He couldn't provide you the comfort that you craved, as he was not your cat, nor could he get you your cat. So, he extended his sympathies, and access to his bed whenever you would like. For cuddles, or for more, he was always down for whatever.

He only hoped that his efforts to be there, and open for you, helped to heal you a little bit in the long run.

Satan:

Satan was nice to be around. He was curious, and he liked to know things and ask questions, so he did tend to pry into your past. But he was always good for book recommendations, and was always happy to discuss any book you wanted.

You found comfort in his fondness for cats, finding a kindred spirit in that regard. You didn't tell him about Grim, not wanting to get his hopes up about maybe meeting your beloved companion. He did notice your love of cats though, and had gotten you a giant cat plushie, as a gift.

You had named it Grim, and it lived on your bed. It was much quieter, and honestly, a bit boring compared to the real thing, but it was good for cuddling in the night when you couldn't sleep because you missed your furry friend. You were grateful that Satan had brought you just a bit of comfort in those moments, even if he didn't know it.

"I had a cat." You started one day when he started reading off cat facts enthusiastically after you had expressed the slightest bit of interest. "He was a rather interesting thing."

"Really? What was he like?" Satan liked to hear you talk about your past in general, but he was especially excited to hear about your cat.

"His name was Grim. And he was big, like 2 feet tall. He had a very distinct look about him. Grey fur, with a white chest," Satan nodded, listening intently, "bright, big, blue eyes. So round they almost looked scary sometimes. His ears, they had blue fire coming out of them, and his tail was shaped like a pitchfork. And he could use magic! He could breathe fire, and fly, effortlessly. He could talk too. Used to talk my ear off." You smiled fondly, happy to be able to talk about your favorite creature. "He'd call me Henchman, or Hench Human. He was a trouble maker. Mammon reminds me of him that way."

"Oh." Satan almost groaned.

"But much like Mammon, at the end of the day, push comes to shove, you can rely on him. That was one of the few things I knew for certain back then. Grim was the only one I could fully rely on. I had other friends, but Grim and I, we were inseparable. He was my best friend. He used to sleep in my bed with me, every night. I'm so used to it, it's honestly.... kind of hard to sleep without him." You admitted, laughing tiredly. "I miss Grim."

"Were you allowed pets, or familiars, at your last school?"

"No. No, I don't think we were." You answered after a moment of thought. "But Grim was a special case. He and I crashed the entrance ceremony. I wasn't supposed to be there, and got yoinked out of another world, but he was just straight up trespassing because he wanted so badly to go to that school, and become a great mage." You laughed at the memory. "He committed arson, I helped calm him down, and the rest is history. We weren't students, originally. We were janitors. The Headmaster only let us stay because I didn't have anywhere else to go, and I proved that Grim could be helpful."

"I thought you said you were a student?"

"I was. Half. I was half of a student." You smiled, taking a tired, yet fond, sigh. "I didn't have magic. But Grim did. So, Crowley determined that we would each be half of a student. He got us both into so much trouble, but he always helped me get out of it. I could always rely on Grim. Except in schoolwork," you admitted, laughing a little, "I was alone in that portion."

A million questions ran through his head, and you could tell the gears were turning. It was almost amusing, seeing him trying to decide on what topic to pick. Should he keep going about your cat? Pry about your headmaster? Ask about your clearly troubled past at this school?

He was quiet, but it wasn't tense, or awkward, just comfortable silence, as you patiently awaited his next question. You knew Satan would choose his words carefully, so as to not make you uncomfortable, so you had no fears. You really didn't want him to ask about Grim's homework habits though. Satan prioritized intelligence, and knowledge. You wanted him to have a good impression of Grim, since you thought the two would get along, despite Grim being similar to his older brother, Mammon.

It took him a few moments, you, peacefully sipping your favorite hot drink, as you waited patiently, reading your book, before he finally picked a topic.

"Was your headmaster, truly that bad?" He asked softly.

"His favorite trick to get me to do what he wanted, when I didn't want to, was to threaten me. My food budget, my housing budget, or even my security at the school. I had others I could rely on, should this happen. The other Housewardens tended to take pity on me when I would show up, practically begging for food, because Crowley wouldn't allow me to have any. They were good people. But I always made sure Grim had stuff to eat. I never let him suffer. He actually learned to share through this. But, a diet of tuna sandwiches, just isn't that good for your health. It was better than nothing though." You shrugged, not looking up from your book. You looked up, to see him looking at you, sadness painting his eyes. "I'm doing better now, Satan." You smiled.

"I don't want to pry, but I do have more questions." You took a deep breath.

"Can I answer them later?" You asked, to which he nodded.

"Take your time."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course."

"Can you look through your books, to see if there's a spell, or an incantation, or a potion, or a ritual, that will help me get Grim? I'm worried about him, and, as you can see," you gestured to your eyebags, which Asmo had tried to hide using makeup, but it was late, so they were started to peek through, "being without him takes a toll. He's like my emotional support cat, you know? My sassy, lazy, loud, annoying, emotional support cat, that I love. And I miss."

"I'll see what I can do." He nodded. "No promises, but I'll look into it."

"That's all I ask." You smiled tiredly.

Beelzebub:

Beelzebub had eaten the majority of the fridge again, and it was your turn to make dinner. You sighed, as he looked at you guiltily. It was getting too close to when you absolutely needed to start cooking so you could serve dinner on time, so you couldn't go shopping for more. You just shook your head, and got to work taking everything out of the fridge and pantry, just to see what was left.

"I'm sorry." Beel offered. "I'll help you cook."

"I've done more with less." You said, not registering his offer, and looking over the ingredients that were left, as you had caught him before he could eat everything. "I just need some time."

"I didn't leave you much. I could go to the store, and get some more." He offered.

"Beel," You looked at him, smiling in amusement. "How much of what you get me would you eat on the way home?" He looked down guiltily once more. "I'm not mad," you assured, "really, I'm not. And I appreciate your offer of help. But I've got this." You smiled once more, before turning back to the ingredients, and picking up a few.

With what little you had, you'd started to make a large delicious meal. Beelzebub watched, in what could only be described as awe, as you stretched what you had into enough to feed the brothers, and something that tasted good. He still felt guilty about eating the majority of what you could've used to make dinner, but he was grateful you weren't mad, and he was curious as to how you knew how to make so little go so far.

After you served the brothers, you kept a little for yourself, and Beelzebub noticed. He noticed that you didn't take much, and when he tried to comment on it, you just winked at him, smiling. After dinner, he was designated for clean up, and you went into the kitchen to keep him company, as he had while you were cooking.

"How did you do that? There wasn't much left, but that was a good meal."

"My last school.... I didn't have much." You started vaguely. "My food budget was small, and often taken away, so I would take what little I was able to beg or barter for from the shop keeper, or the other Housewardens, or my friends, and I'd make it stretch. It helped that they often had some leftovers, especially Scarabia, with their feasts every week. And Jamil was a fabulous cook." You complimented, your mouth watering at the thought of his delicious and carefully prepared food. "But I digress. What I'd do is, I'd prepare meals in advance, as many as I could. I had to. Starvation sounded rather unpleasant, to me."

"It was that bad?"

"Not if I planned correctly." You smiled.

Beelzebub related to the feeling of hunger, and starvation. He was often brushed aside as always hungry because he's the Avatar of Gluttony. But the pain was always there, and it was hard to describe the pain aside from, hungry. You were always patient with him, even if he got grumpy because of his hunger, and now he was starting to see why.

If you understood the feeling of being hungry all the time, and starving to a painful point, it makes sense that you'd not get mad at him. It makes sense to him, that you'd be patient with him. He had always appreciated your patience and kindness, but he had never questioned it. Now he was starting to think he should've.

"Was it just you?"

"No. I had a cat with me. His name was Grim, and he was a lot like Mammon." You described cheerfully. "He mostly ate cans of tuna, which I could get for cheap at the school shop, they weren't super popular, and students tended to leave them at the shop after realizing they were the cheapest option of food I had." You laughed awkwardly. "It was a school of ruffians, and bullies, and people who hated me. But they had the decency to not want me to starve to death."

"You were hated?"

"By some. I wasn't popular, but I had my fair share of friends, don't worry." You assured. "I had the first years friend group, and the Housewardens, and the vice-housewardens and honorary vicehousewardens. Even a lot of the teachers liked me. And even if they didn't, I still had Grim. He was my best friend."

"Was?"

"He's still there, so he still is. We're just not together right now. It's like... it's like a part of me is missing, because he's my best friend." You tried. "And he's still there, but I can't see him, and I can't talk to him. I miss him, a lot. I think you'd like him." You smiled. "He used to sleep on my bed, every night. And he'd complain, and whine, and get both of us into trouble, but he was loyal to a fault, and he was always there when I needed him."

"Was your old headmaster that bad?"

"Oh yeah." You nodded enthusiastically. "He went on vacation so often, and it was more like I was the headmaster towards the end of my time there. What with the amount of paperwork and such I was handling in his stead. On top of schoolwork! And he put me in an old decrepit house, with a fire breathing cat. Granted, I asked for the cat to remain with me, but still. I'm sure he could've found somewhere else to put me."

"That sounds awful."

"It could be. But hey, think of it this way, now I'm prepared if you do this again." You teased. He nodded. "Don't feel too bad, Beel. You didn't even know I existed, you couldn't have done anything."

"I wish you would've told us."

"It's not easy to talk about." You admitted. "It's not like... I had the best experience with a lot of people there. I mean, Overblots, burnout, hunger, on top of basically being an unpaid therapist, an unpaid headmaster, and a full-time student? I was busy, and not every experience is a pleasant one. But it's a part of my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything. Because it was my experience." You explained. He nodded in understanding. "I think you'd like the people I met before. So many good cooks. And Lilia, who is on par with Solomon." You shuddered. "But there was also so many athletics clubs. I bet you'd really like Spelldrive." You smiled.

"Spelldrive?"

"Yeah!"

As you launched into an in-depth explanation of the sport, at least as you understood it, he simply watched. He was glad you'd opened up to him, and to hear that you weren't always alone. He would probably ask Satan if he could find anything about getting your cat for you. But for now, he was just happy to see you being comfortable enough to talk about your past.

Belphegor:

Belphegor liked to visit your dreams whenever you'd let him. They were always so interesting. They almost matched you, in that regard. As you were so strange in his eyes. He was very lucky, able to explore your good dreams. Dreams that told of friends, and adventure. Light hardship, sure, but mostly wonder. And happiness. Along with a cat that seemed to pop up in every dream. He didn't know that he only saw this because he didn't always tune into your dreams. Not every dream is a happy one.

It was one day, when you happened to be taking a nap in his general vicinity, that he drifted off, and entered your dream. He prepared himself for the bright light of the outside of Night Raven College, and for the happy smiling faces, or the sound of laughter, as he usually saw when he joined your in your dreams. What he wasn't expecting, was the fire. The screaming, the fear. He was prepared to watch on happily as you got to see your friends, the people you consider family, in your dreams, but instead, he only saw your terror.

He couldn't look away as you looked on in terror as eight towering figures, covering in black ink, with massive ink monsters behind them cornered you. He recognized some of these faces, they were those of your friends. They were friends, friends who would drive you to work harder, and do better, but would always be there to help in any way they could, if they could, when you asked.

But there was one face he was shocked to see, moreso than the friends. It was your cat. Your cat that had been changed into a hulking, massive beast, and it looked more wild than he had ever seen. It wasn't talking anymore, none of those smart ass comments he'd overhear, it was growling at you, roaring at you. It had never done that before.

Belphegor, unable to stand by as you feared for your life, even in a dream, quickly made his way to in front of you, his back to you.

"You need to wake up."

You heard him, but his voice was muddled in your panic, it sounded like he was under water. You looked at him in confusion.

"What?"

"Wake! UP!" He commanded.

You shot up, gasping for air, as you woke up. Belphegor followed not long after, making his way over, and sitting beside you, as you began to calm down from such a panic-inducing dream. He sat beside you until your breathing was under control, and you weren't shaking as much anymore.

You leaned onto him, your head resting on his shoulder, and feeling embarrassed. It wasn't often that you had these nightmares, but they were always intense and unpleasant when you did. You didn't think he knew, he'd never visited those dreams. It's not as though you were actively hiding it, you'd told him that you'd had nightmares before, but you were ashamed that he had seen them firsthand.

You both just sat in silence for several moments, before he spoke first.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, softly.

"They don't know about the nightmares. I mean, my closer friends do, but those who the nightmares are about, don't. They don't need that."

"Why are they in your nightmares? And why did they look like that?"

"They lost control of their emotions, and their magic overwhelmed them. They weren't in control, when they looked like that. That was their anger, and sadness, their pain, that was in control of them, with their magic creating the ink monsters behind them." You explained, quietly. "I don't blame them, no one can be expected to hold it together for so long, but that doesn't make it any less unpleasant."

"And your cat?"

"I don't know why I have nightmares about him like that." You admitted. "I think it's because I miss him, and I'm scared of what will happen to him without me there."

"How long have you had these nightmares?"

"They started after the first Overblot, that's what they're called," you explained simply, "but they only got worse as more Overblots happened."

"Was there no one you could go to?" You shook your head.

"I couldn't go to Crowley, he was useless," you laughed humorlessly, "the teachers were nice, but they couldn't do anything. I told my friends, and they tried their best, but nothing ever really helped. Grim used to sleep on my bed with me, and that would chase the nightmares away pretty well, but," you trailed off.

"You don't have him with you now, so the nightmares are back with a vengeance?" You nodded, smiling a little at his wording. He wrapped an arm around you. "Do you miss him?"

"I do."

He knew you did, he knew that was a redundant question. But he wanted to hear it from you, as a sort of confirmation. He felt bad that you missed your cat, and he wished he could do something about it, but he knew he couldn't. So you two just sat in silence, comforted by the warmth of the room, and the calm atmosphere around the two of you.

He had always wondered why, or even how, you'd taken his actions in stride. How you'd forgiven him so easily. He knew now, that it was just in your nature after having gone through so much at your last school. He decided in that moment that he'd make an effort to be the person to hold a grudge on your behalf, to let people know that you may have forgiven them, but he certainly hasn't, and he hasn't forgotten what they've done to you. He didn't voice this, but he knew that you knew how he felt.

But for now, you two just sat there, comfortable, and warm. He wanted to apologize, and say he'd do everything in his power to get you your cat, but he didn't want to say that without a guarantee that he could do it. So there you sat, close, and comfortable.

"I'll chase your nightmares away." He offered, just barely a whisper, yet because of your proximity, you heard it.

"Thanks Belphie." You smiled tiredly, happy to hear that he would protect your dreams.

You drifted off not long after, Belphie following close behind. But he kept his word, and your nightmares didn't plague you after that, whenever Belphie could help it.

[cheyisagirlkisser]

Hello I was wondering if you could do Jackson ellie x bestfreind reader and like they have had a crush on eachother for a while and have a sleepover where they smoke or drink maybe or play some type of game like truth or dare and find out they like eachother and get kinda freaky idk. Thank you!

EEE I am so excited for this one watch me cook on this request. This is a rlly good request and I wanna write something just as good!! Also I want to recommend you an ao3 fic with this EXACT plot it's tagged here actually my favorite Ellie fic ever.

Content: 4k words, bestfriend reader, Jackson setting, pent-up feelings, nipple-play (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), tribbing, Ellie puts a finger into your mouth how fun!, a lot of dialogue before the actual sex sorry but I loved writing Ellie to be funny, reader likes pink a lot (couldn't help myself) and is afab, reader and Ellie 18+, NOT PROOFREAD LMAO

You're far from safe from liking people you shouldn't like.

That doesn't even cover the multitude of feelings! Like doesn't cover it. You're pretty sure you love Ellie.

Maybe in another lifetime, you and Ellie could've met and went on a date. You could've loved her freely. In this universe, she is your childhood best friend.

You know it could ruin the best thing that has ever happened to you if you tell her, or if she finds out in some way, but fuck; when she looks at you, it's like you forget how to breathe. You just wanna breathe her in, you want to share the same air and feel her lips on yours.

Ellie is unlike anyone you've ever known. She's sweet for you. She's impulsive to others, and honestly sometimes an asshole. That only makes you fall more and more in love for her. You didn't know it was possible to be attracted to someone's flaws, but you want every piece of her, even the bits that others in Jackson label as "annoying."

Ellie has always been there for you since you were just 15 and she moved to Jackson right by Joel's side. You just seemed to click. She was brash, foul-mouthed, and told ironically funny dad jokes. You were the type of person who liked having adventures and never shut up. Ellie always listened. She held you while you cried, let you borrow her book of puns, and volunteered to do patrols with you just so she could have fun adventures with you.

You couldn't ruin a good thing. You don't know what you would even do without Ellie in your life. You didn't wanna freak her out or make things weird. You feel like such a coward, but even thinking about Ellie distancing herself from you because of your stupid crush on her? It just makes your stomach churn with dread.

Little did you know Ellie was equally obsessed with you.

You're like a fucking ball of sunshine to the girl, always there laughing at the stupid things she says, defending her when she gets in trouble for something minor, and your smile should be considered warfare for how easily it could kill her. She tries to keep her feelings to herself, but it is so hard to when you look at her with bright eyes and the sweetest smile like you're trying to give her a toothache.

It's a recipe for a bomb, and it only takes one game to set it off.

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You're sitting criss-cross on your bed and Ellie is in your floor. It's a Saturday, which means both of you get to have a sleepover. No patrol, and no major chores to be done around Jackson.

Ellie just got back from a multiple day lasting patrol and she missed you so much while she was gone, it's not even funny. Seattle is beautiful, but boring when there isn't a sunshine girl in awe about how the verdure clings to the buildings. But at least now she is here, back in your bedroom which she loves so much.

Ellie's room is vastly different from yours. Well, her garage is. Her bedsheets are grey and minimalistic, and her make-shift kitchen is lined with posters. Her favorite is the one with the punk green-haired man holding a guitar. Her closet, however, it quite impressive. Her shelves are lined with comics and space movies, and her hangers are lined with flannels, of course.

Your bedroom, in contrast, has white bedsheets and a cozy pink blanket. You have a few raggedy plushies from scavenging around and your shelves are filled with lighter-colored clothing. White curtains decorate your windows and frilly pillowcases (that end up in the floor most of the time) compliment your bed. You have a full-length mirror in the corner of your room and a shelf of DVDs you usually just bring over to Ellie's garage, since she has a much nicer tv than you do. Ellie glances up at you from the floor, squiggling her eyebrows.

"I'm so fucking bored!" You groan, making Ellie laugh in the process.

"And how is that my problem?"

You flip her off and she clutches her stomach.

"Seriously, Ellie. I wanna actually do something and not just eat grilled cheeses and read your nerdy comics."

She scoffs.

"Excuse me? It's not my fault you have bad taste in literature."

You snort at that. "Starlight Savage and Raven Mouse are not literature."

"Oh, then what are they, huh?" She stands up, amusingly offended.

"Comics!"

Ellie grabs one of your pillows and pretends to suffocate you with it. You're laughing and trying to pry it off of your face.

"Hey, quit! You're actually gonna kill me!" You giggle, your voice muffled from the cushioning.

Ellie finally relents, laughing along with you.

"Better think twice before disrespecting Starlight Savage." She is wearing her signature shit-eating grin.

"Oh, whatever.. Hey!- You got me off topic." You groaned.

Ellie laughs at that. "And what was the topic?"

"I am bored out of my fucking mind," you complain, your voice rising in pitch to sound whiny, which she pretends to absolutely hate.

Really, she just hates that it makes her stomach clench when she hears your cute complains, and the tone of your whines only makes it worse.

"Okay, okay, fine. We can do something fun." She feigns reluctance, setting down on the bed beside you.

"Great!! So, what should we do?"

"Seriously? You don't even know what you wanna do and you gave me whiplash bitching about being bored?"

You scoff, jumping to your own defense. "I was tryin' to get you to come up with something," and then you add to complete your argument, "I wouldn't be bored if I knew what we could do."

Ellie sighs, and you smile because you know that means she has had enough of your bullshit and she just wants to throw in the towel.

"Fine. Well, we can play a game perhaps?"

You groan in protest at the suggestion. "You're a dirty cheater when it comes to Monopoly!"

Ellie only lets out a sheepish laugh at that, because she knows that you're being 100% truthful. "That is what makes the game fun!" When she sees your glare, she sighs once more. "Fine. How 'bout Truth or Dare?"

That sounds intriguing; the game begins.

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You and Ellie sit across from each other, and the game has been going on for around 10 minutes now. It's getting quite boring - always questions like "What's a secret you haven't told me?" or Ellie dares you to do something she knows you won't do, like lick the toilet bowl.

Then, she asks a question that brings the game onto another level.

"What's your favorite sex position?"

You stare at her, your jaw practically in your lap. You don't wanna talk sex positions with the girl you secretly wanna do sex positions with.

"What the fuck, Ellie?!"

She looks a bit guilty, but shrugs with a smirk that doesn't go unnoticed.

"What? I wanted to spice things up. C'mon, don't be a pussy."

You think it over, but finally, with a heated face, you say fuck it and give into her bullshit. "Missionary."

Ellie bursts out laughing.

You're sitting there not knowing what to do! She is laughing like a hyena at this point, tears in the corners of her eyes. She slaps her knee. What the fuck?!

"What's so funny?!"

Ellie just laughs, falling over and she is snorting like a pig now before she finally settles down. "It's just.." she tries to stifle a giggle, "that is the most boring thing you could've possibly said.”

You know that, but you're keen on defending your word. Ellie loves that about you, how you're always quick to stand up for yourself. "It's romantic!"

"Okay, okay," she shrugs. "Enlighten me on how missionary is more romantic than any other position that actually feels good."

You don't hesitate to list off the facts. "First of all, it does feel good! You just haven't tried the pillow method. Second of all, you can kiss your partner and actually talk to them." You sigh, getting a bit flustered (and turned on) by the conversation at hand. "Imagine fucking someone and getting to kiss all over their face while doing so, or on their neck or their tits. It's about the intimacy."

Ellie looks just as flustered as you now. She is silent for a moment before giving you the benefit of the doubt. "Okay, I guess you can rest your case now. But there is much more intimate positions than missionary, you know. You're just thinking vanilla ones like riding the strap-on, or from behind."

You raise an eyebrow at that. "Okay, I'll bite. What's more intimate than looking into someone's eyes while they cum?"

Ellie laughs at your vulgar question, pink tinting her freckled cheeks. "Tribbing." Her voice is more quiet, and that only makes you more aware of the slight tension.

You quickly brush it off with a laugh.

"Of course your gay ass would say that."

She grins and sits up at that, quick to defend herself. "Hey, you have no room to be talking, little miss 'my gay awakening is Rose from Titanic.'"

Your jaw drops and you look at her like she has said something crazy. "Hey, Rose is hot!"

She giggles. "Yeah, Sherlock, thanks for pointing out the obvious."

You roll your eyes. "Okay, okay. Can we get back to the game?"

She nods, and it continues.

As time passes, the questions grow more and more...uncomfortable to answer. You're still asking her the more casual things, but Ellie is daring you to do stupid, impossible stuff, or to answer questions like "what was your first time like?", "do you have a friends with benefits situation with anyone in Jackson?", and "if you could kiss anyone in Jackson, who would it be?" (which you brushed off jokingly by saying old man Eugene. She didn't press any further, only mocking you).

Then, she leans forward after you choose truth, and she whispers something you can't really brush off.

"Who do you like?"

You're fucked. If she asked "do you like someone?", you could answer without revealing who it is. She knows she has you trapped. Sneaky cunt.

You don't answer right away. Ellie is so close, your knees touching. The air in the room is insanely hot, and you want to leave your own house, you want to hide under your blankets or cover your face, but you can't.

Ellie doesn't wait for you to answer.

"I know you like someone, I can tell when my best friend is in love. Who is it?"

"That's way too personal, I.."

She scoffs, but it's not a rude sound. Just shocked, maybe slightly hurt. "You have always told me your crushes. Why won't you tell me now?"

You feel guilty now because she doesn't understand. She doesn't get why you won't tell her. She can't understand that it's because you like her. You want to scream it: I'm in love with you, Ellie! But those words won't be the next you utter.

"I just...I feel like this time it should be private." You know that your reasoning is weak, for once in your life, the defense is slipping and it's ugly. You internally wince.

She just stares in silence, not really meeting your eyes. It makes you panic, and then, then the words slip from your mouth seeing the hurt on Ellie's pretty face.

"It's you."

She stares at you like she didn't quite hear what you said, even though it was shaky, nevertheless loud and coherent.

"What...?"

"I..I'm in love with you, Ellie." You repeat yourself.

She leans into you. "Fuck.." Her breath hitches. "You better not be fucking around with me, I swear to-"

"No!", you shout loudly and quickly try to compose yourself. "I mean..I'm not joking. I like you. I hope this doesn't fuck with our friendship, or like.." You trail off, not wanting to think about what could happen now.

"I'm in love with you, too." There, now Ellie has gotten it out too.

Ellie didn't even fully understand why she asked you that. She knew she could've gotten her feelings hurt, that you could've liked someone else or that it would definitely mean you did like her, and then she had to be vulnerable and confess it back. Still, she was so exhausted, so fucking tired of pretending like hugs and casual touches were enough. They were never enough.

"Can I kiss you?" She doesn't even give you the proper time to react to her shared confession before she springs that onto you. You don't complain, only nodding quickly.

Her breath is warm against yours, and you can tell how shaky it is. You've never seen her so nervous, it makes your own stomach flutter with butterflies. Then, Ellie's grasping onto your face and smashing her lips against yours. Her mouth is warm, and the kiss doesn't even start out gentle. It's all devouring, all need and passon.

You quickly move into her lap, thighs on either sides of hers, and both of you are desperately pulling each other closer, finally sharing the same air. She tastes like everything natural, something so unique it can't be described but you immediately know you need more of it. Her tongue moves inside of your mouth, devouring you just like how she has been dreaming of for who knows how long, and when you're forced to pull away for a breath, her lips are sloppily trailing down your jaw to your throat, her hands grasping your hips to pull you closer.

"I've wanted you for so long, you know that?" Her voice is warm against your sensitive skin, and you think you could just burst with how it feels to be practically intertwined with her.

"Show me how it feels, Els.." You gasp and tilt your head back for more, but Ellie pulls away to look at you.

"How what feels?' She doesn't sound rude, only confused with her lips swollen and wet.

"The intimacy..the intimacy you talked about.." Oh, that.

She nods quickly, and her mouth is all over your shoulders, leaving soft pecks between words, "We can do that, but I wanna do something first..is that okay?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

With that, she pulls your shirt over your head and stares at you like she has never seen a pair of boobs before. Her eyes are wide and she takes you in before her.

"You're so pretty," she mumbles with conviction, kneading your tits through your bra. You can only moan when she sticks a hand into your bra and rubs her palm over your nipples, her other hand deftly undoing the clasp of the fabric.

That was the hottest thing you could do for a woman, Williams..

Her lips quickly find a nipple, pulling it into her mouth to swirl her tongue around the bud. Your fingers tug at her hair, begging for more. You need her closer. She reluctantly pulls her mouth off off of its new favorite place and leans back up to face you, planting an affectionate kiss on your cheek before smiling sheepishly.

"I'm gonna say something I want to do to you, but you can't laugh.."

That makes you already giggle, despite the heat building between your thighs. That is something you love about Ellie, the way she can make you laugh even when you aren't supposed to be.

"I'll try my best. What is it?" You ask, and she fiddles with her fingers nervously.

"I wanna use my fingers on you," she says it so quietly, voice nervous but filled with hunger before she quickly adds, "if you want me to. It's okay if you don't wanna go any further-"

"I want you to finger me, Els."

That was easier than she thought it would be.

She nods now, slowly unbuttoning your jeans and watching with an intense gaze as you hop off of her lap to shimmy them off. Now you're in nothing but a cotton pair of panties and you look so gorgeous.

Ellie has always found you to be beautiful. During patrols and on lookout, your hair had a shine to it that most people wouldn't care to think too much about, but Ellie always noticed it. Ellie always noticed the way your lips parted when you were zoned out, or how you walked like you always knew where you were going even on the paths that were mainly uncharted. You were so lovely-looking.

Now, nearly naked for her, she doesn't know if she can bare to blink even for a second. She is currently having a never-ending starting contest with your body, and she has to stop herself from pouncing on you. She wants to love you, not just fuck you.

Ellie is on her knees between your legs, hooking her fingers into the waistband of your underwear. Her eyes flicker over your body before looking to yours for confirmation.

"You sure you want this?"

"Please, Ellie. I want you." You know you sound desperate for her, but it can't be helped. You were soaked through your underwear, clit beating with need, and Ellie is just eyeing you like she wanted to devour you. She probably would, but she wants to save your clit for later.

She nods and slips your underwear down your legs, pulling them off of your ankles and throwing them behind her. The action made you giggle, but Ellie quickly squashed your outburst.

"Somethin' funny?" She asks, slipping a finger through your slick folds. You gasp and jolt.

"Hey, where the fuck is the warning, you cunt?"

She has to stifle her own laugh at your outburst, but she is growing tired of the cute giggles; if you laughed one more time, she'd be fucking you until you were limping-

"Sorry, pretty. I'm gettin' impatient." Her tone mkes you involuntarily clench. You rarely hear that tone, the serious one when she is either around someone she doesn't know and is keeping it professional or just not in the mood to joke. Now, you discover it's her horny tone, too.

You nod, tilting your head back to rest it on your frilly pillow. Finally, she slips two digits past your lips and you resist the urge to let a whorish whine slip past your lips. When she easily slides into your heat, you then can't resist.

Ellie's eyes are glued to your pussy like it's magic, watching your hips try to rise for more, feeling the way your walls tighten around her intrusion.

It's too much for her poor, fucked head to bare.

She is already as wrecked as you are. She wants to taunt you for the way you already look like you're going to cum from her barely brushing at your spongey g-spot, but she can't. She is probably in rougher shape right now.

"You feel so warm." It's all she can manage to get out, and she curls her fingers inside of you into upward, making you moan.

"I wanna cum, Els..please, more. Give me more." Ellie has never seen you this dumb for pleasure before, but who is she to deny you?

Her fingers aren't thrusting in and out or finger-banging you, just slowly sliding through your cunt, her fingertips stroking where you need them to. You feel so full, so complete. You hope she does this every single day from here on out.

It doesn't take long to get you into a state of complete bliss, and you haven't even climaxed yet. Your legs aren't clamping down, rather spreading wider as if you're begging for her to take you in the most obscene ways possible, fill you up with more than just her fingers. If only she you two were currently at her house, she has that unopened strap-on box... maybe for another day.

The knot that builds in your stomach, the temperature of it overheating your insides is about to snap. You're begging as if Ellie is teasing you or something. You're whining, and you look like you're about to start sobbing if she pauses her pace even for a nanosecond. She just wants to gives you everything, thinks you deserve the whole world, so she leans forward and intertwines her fingers with yours as her other fingers pump deep inside you, and you swear it's rearranging your guts. You wanna be wrecked so damn badly.

"You keep fluttering around me, gonna cum?" She asks, and you whine and nod.

Your orgasm soon hits you like a tsunami, once in a crash and then it simmers throughout you in waves. This is probably the hardest you have ever came. You gasp onto her hand tight, squeezing her fingers. You can't even speak or you'd be howling her name. It feels so euphoric and you wonder how it can get any better than this.

When you come down from the peak, she eases her fingers out of your tender insides and licks her ring finger clean. Then, she settles her hips between your legs, bringing her soaking middle finger to your lips.

"Open up."

You do so without question, tasting yourself on her digit before she swiftly pulls her finger away with a "pop!"

"I taste weird," you mumble and she rolls her eyes, mumbling a little "fuck you" before sitting up to strip out of her flannel.

You feel maybe a little nervous before. Something about the thought of feeling her in such an intimate way makes you feel even more fluttery inside. You've been with women before, you are far from a virgin, but you've never clashed clits before (omfg what). Most girls thought it was just a porn thing.

"You okay?" Ellie pauses, her flannel on the bed and a black t-shirt layer underneath it.

"Yeah," you mean it, "just a little nervous."

Her eyes soften, and she takes your hand and squeezes it. "I promise I'll be slow with you. I'm not gonna rush you into this, and if you want, we can always stop."

You feel more assured now, and you smile. "Okay."

When she finally strips out of her clothing, you take her in. She is breath-takingly beautiful. Her body is pale but covered in tan freckles, and her nipples are perky with arousal. Her shoulders and collarbone look so fucking kissable. You're still in a daze as she hooks a leg over yours, her warm cunt only an inch or two away from yours. She hovers.

"You ready?"

"I want you, so yes."

That makes her smile, and she slowly eases down onto you, her folds rubbing up against yours and both of your neglected clits finally getting the attention they deserve. Both of you are already moaning and Ellie leans down onto you, her tits brushing against yours as she kisses you deeply.

This kiss is slower than the first, less desperate but just as emotional. It's hungry and consumes you in a sensual way. Her hips grind against yours, her slick mixing with your soaked pussy to make you only whine into her mouth.

Now you understand how intimate this is. You feel so connected to Ellie in a way you hope you never get to feel with anyone else. You wanna always be this close. You think that even after this ends, you'll feel that tie to her body and heart, always leading you back to her.

When you both cum together, it's much different than what she gave you before. You can feel her tense up with you, hear her shaky breaths and moans, and you feel a warmth inside of you reminding you that she feels this way because of your pussy, because of her feelings for you. It's making you obsessive to feel this way.

When the high fades, she collapses on top you. You're both breathing heavily for a few minutes. Her breath is against your neck and it feels like a kiss. Your brain is thinking of something stupid now that the horniness is over.

"Isn't it obvious that I'm your girlfriend now?"

Ellie laughs and squeezes you tightly.

"Yeah. You're my girlfriend now, and I'm not letting you go."

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄

[archangeldyke-all]

Loved your works so much omgggg

Would you do a butch/masc/stud amab reader?

Just think some smut with that would be pretty cool :)

Have a wonderful day either way!

sure!! couldn't tell if u wanted reader to be a top or bottom so i just did a bit of both teehee (pls lmk if u want a specific scenario, i'd be happy to do a longer scene with this prompt!)

also quick disclaimer! i'm cis, so if there are any mistakes or missteps please lmk and i'll fix them asap!!

men and minors dni

first let's talk about how much sevika loves a butch/stud/masc-- specifically you.

there's just something so effortlessly cool about you. she's obsessed with it. the way you carry yourself, the way your keys jangle where they're clipped around your belt loop, the way you spread your legs when you sit-- all of it drives her insane.

for a while, she's cautious to use traditionally masculine words with you, because the last thing she wants to do is trigger any of your dysphoria. but when you finally tell her that you'd love to hear her call you handsome or dapper.

so, from there, she lays it on thick, letting all her horny thoughts about your masc appearance out.

you've got a flannel or button up rolled up around your forearms? sevika's gawking and licking her lips slowly.

you're wearing a suit and tie to a formal dinner with her? she's tugging you in by the tie for kisses once every minute.

you're prancing around the house in some boxers and a wife pleaser? she might just pin you to the wall and take you right there.

if you like topping, don't think it means you'll be in charge all the time. sometimes, sevika will let you press her to the bed and set the pace, but sometimes, it's the opposite.

she'll straddle your hips and ride you for hours, daring you not to cum until she's finished with you (that only being when she's used you to cum at least five times herself.)

if you like bottoming, sevika will tease you for hours, using her tongue and fingers to open you up and get you shivering before finally sinking her strap inside you.

there's nothing more she loves than teasing you when she's got you underneath her (whether you're topping or not.)

"what happened to my big bad butch girlfriend, huh?" she asks. you groan into the pillows. "got you whining and moaning like a bitch in heat, baby, thought you were supposed to be all tough."

(if you ever do the same thing when you've got her on the brink of orgasm, teasing her about her girly whines and squeals, she'll cum on the spot.)

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @greenhazes

[shantechni]

Natsume's Fear of Thunder

I'm gonna be honest, this can hardly be considered an analysis. It's more of a "sporadic and unnecessarily deep observation" of how Natsume's astraphobia has been presented in the series over the years, both in the anime and in the manga. So, please for the love of God take all of this with a grain of salt.

Yes, I'm using the term "phobia" very loosely, but I'm not about to get into that rn. Natsume has an irrational fear and strong dislike of thunder, that's an undeniable truth.

Before I dive in, I'd like to briefly explain why, of all the little bits of information Midorikawa has given us about Natsume, this one is the one to ceaselessly bump around in my brain like a DVD logo. This series is not in the horror genre (it's serialized in LaLa DX after all), but it does get suspenseful, and pretty disturbing depending on whatever topic it touches or the types of situations the characters may find themselves in. I don't fault anyone, particularly Natsume, for growing up with valid fears and preconceived misconceptions about most youkai; they can sound scary, they can look scary, and they can do some scary stuff if they really feel up to it.

That's why I'm so fascinated to see Natsume develop and still harbor an irrational fear for something like the everyday phenomena of storms. He's landed himself in all sorts of trouble and has come face to face with many beings, both natural and supernatural, who didn't have his best interests in mind, and yet the clap of thunder somehow keeps its spot on the list of things that has him scared stiff.

Aight, spoilers for both the anime and the manga beyond here, you've been warned👏🏽

Our first introduction to Natsume's fear is near the beginning of chapter 42, when he and Tanuma accidentally stumble across Taki's home while seeking shelter from a sudden shower. He questions how Nyanko-sensei ended up at her home as well and the youkai, much to Natsume's visible dismay, cheekily explains:

That doesn't end up happening since the rain remained light until its swift end, and the mention of Natsume's fear is glossed over rather quickly to save him the embarrassment, but it's an interesting mention made by Midorikawa nonetheless since it adds another layer to whatever image the audience has of Natsume and the series itself. Nyanko-sensei, having been around this kid long enough to know a lot of his vulnerabilities and insecurities (even the ones his dreams unwittingly reveal to the youkai), has seen and grown accustomed to a side of him that the audience had yet to be formally introduced to for once.

Right about now, you may be wondering how the anime adapted this scene. It didn't💀.

While the start of the episode (S3 EP5) is a one-to-one recreation of the chapter with virtually the same dialogue and scenery, any mention of Nyanko-sensei following Natsume to pick on him when it thunders is nonexistent and entirely skipped over so the gang can go straight to cleaning out the storeroom.

Most fans who have read the manga will tell you how notorious the anime is for excluding some of the characters' lines or scenes that take place in the manga, or just straight up rearranging or changing up those same factors. Sometimes those alterations work wonders, and other times they leave more to be desired, mainly if you know what happened in the manga counterpart of the episode. This such example is one of the times that'll leave people scratching their heads and wondering what warranted getting rid of a scene so insignificant that it'd have no effect on the plot of the episode whether or not it stayed. The only answer I can think of for that is the directors likely wanting a smoother progression of events to make for a viewing experience better tailored for an anime episode rather than a manga chapter.

Or, they genuinely didn't have enough space in the episode to squeeze in that little bit, which I highly doubt, but what would I know, I don't work for them. At the end of the day, we didn't get to see that scene in the episode.

After some more anime switcheroo shenanigans go on behind the scenes, along with an original episode pulling a retcon during a lightning storm, we receive our next moment in a surprising scene from the anime team in S3 EP10 (adaptation of chapter 28). Though the scene itself is short and not exactly an example of Natsume's astraphobia, I feel it should still be included because of its relation.

The chapter originally starts with Natsume and Nyanko-sensei searching for a tree that was struck by lightning during a storm the night before. However, the anime makes an addition of their own by rewinding time to that very night and showing Nyanko-sensei excitedly watching the storm take place while Natsume is tied up with his homework.

Nyanko-sensei goes on to tease him by suggesting that he doesn't want to watch the storm because he's scared, but Natsume dodges the youkai's mocking and begins to tell him to close the curtain before a crack of lightning cuts him off and illuminates his room.

Not only does Natsume not simply deny Nyanko-sensei's claim of him being scared, but his reaction to the thunder is seemingly more sudden than Nyanko-sensei's. Both of these points could subsequently lead the audience to interpret this entire sequence as the anime's first acknowledgement of his phobia, and it'd make for a very intriguing choice on the anime team's behalf after taking their ommitance of the previous scene into consideration. It could be a stretch though ngl, I tend to stretch like crazy, it makes sense to close a curtain when a pet is being noisy—

Finally moving on from S3, we eventually reach the most overt instance of Natsume's astraphobia, and potential origin or exacerbation of it, in the S4 finale (adaptation of chapter 46). This three episode arc is a largely intimate and heart wrenching one as it focuses on Natsume's journey to revisit his childhood home before it gets renovated by its new owners, a task he initially denied himself the permission of doing before realizing Touko and Shigeru would never deny him something so personal. Of course, he wouldn't be Natsume if he didn't attract a youkai along the way, and he's being pursued by one that seeks to feed on the tragic memories he formed while staying with the Aoi family, who was strongly implied to be the first family (if not, one of the first families) he was taken in by after his father's passing.

One of those memories shown to the audience is a younger Natsume relaxing in a shrine while memorizing where his childhood home is located, all in the hopes of gaining more discernible memories of his father and no longer being a burden to Miyoko and her parents.

Unfortunately, he falls asleep at the shrine and consequently loses track of time before having his slumber disturbed by a violent boom of thunder. He's so frightened by the ordeal that he can't even bring himself to rush back to the Aoi family's place, and his exhaustion puts him back to sleep until he's eventually found by some of the neighbors who went out searching for him.

The anime, with the natural strengths it has over the manga, goes the extra mile by not only keeping this portion relatively untouched, but further setting up the scenery and depicting just how rapidly the area goes from peaceful to turbulent. The character animation and voice acting make for a splendid combination and do a wonderful job of capturing this image of a helpless childhood version of Natsume.

What comes soon after this scene is a depressing sequence of events on its own, even more so when we can see he's still reeling from the storm and believing he caused the Aois to get into trouble by not getting back before dark. The adults obviously don't fault Natsume for getting stuck in the storm, but he doesn't see it that way in his shocked state.

The way Miyoko reacts by throwing her frustrations onto him doesn't help either.

And so, after aimlessly running off in his last unsuccessful attempt to find his childhood home, the memory fades away with a somber note as his present self recalls the moment he finally stopped calling for his long gone father.

Now, one could argue that Natsume had his fear of thunder prior to his time with the Aois since we don't have much reference material to work with when concerning his short period of time with his father, and they could be right for all I know. It's common for children to be startled by loud noises and bright flashes since they just aren't quite accustomed to those loud noises and bright flashes being customary for weather disturbances. Natsume, who we know grew up to be pretty sensitive to the things that go on around him, may have been one of those children who felt apprehension anytime a bad storm rolled in, and his father may have been the one to quell his fears back then. So, if we go with the conclusion that his fear didn't originate here, then this scene likely could've aggravated it. But I'm personally leaning a bit more towards the concept of this being the cause of it (partly due to how appealing that conclusion is to the obsessive part of my brain).

His initial reaction to the thunder is seemingly one of surprise rather than fear, and his behavior suggests that he's more concerned with making it back down the mountain before the thunder halts his progress. Although he's seen trying to talk himself down and fails to do so with how relentless the thunderstorm is proving to be, he doesn't need to have preexisting fears or anxieties over thunder to resort to calming himself down.

The dialogue differences strike me as something to consider too, but they're likely irrelevant.

Setting aside everything I just ranted about in the above paragraph, I should specify that I'm not simply pointing to the storm scene as the singular root cause for his future woes. Many psychological problems often aren't so black and white that someone can definitively point to one person or thing as the sole reason for the existence of their psychological problems. And phobias obviously don't always develop as a result of going through or observing a traumatic event; people can grow to fear or strongly dislike something merely by its association with an unpleasant memory or stressful situation. I know I'm starting to stretch hard rn, and this part of the post is getting awfully wordy, just hear me out—

Going back to that aforementioned short period of time with his dad, it's plain to see just how innocent of a time that was for Natsume. He was playful and affectionate with his dad like many children growing up in a healthy environment would be at that age. He doesn't even appear to have an awareness of youkai (if so, only slight enough for it to not become a problem for him just yet). We're shown later on that he would commonly draw around the house too, as evidenced by the nearly two decade old pieces of artwork his father never removed from the kitchen area and closet.

Natsume even proceeds to make a comment about this childhood version of himself likely being the mischievous type for him to run around drawing on surfaces without a care in the world.

He undeniably had his own troubles at that stage of his life though, with one of those troubles being his mom and the empty spot left behind by her passing away. Apart from his heartwarming portrait of a family with both parents, he's also shown lamenting to Miyoko after the death of his dad about not being able to remember his mom. We've seen with those two examples that her absence indeed left an impact on him early on in his life, but he doesn't stay too broken up over her considering how little he got to bond with her, and he doesn't openly despair about the loss of his dad until his growing sense of loneliness and longing becomes too much for him to smooth over.

The point I'm trying (and admittedly struggling) to make here is that after moving in with Miyoko and her parents, the worries on Natsume's plate increased tenfold and weighed him down far more than he was willing to accept at first. Suddenly, this kid had little to smile about in life, taking a glance at his only picture of his parents causes grief and envy to flare up in his chest, he's afraid of being a burden to those who took him under his wing, he's eating less than Miyoko because he's concerned with coming off as too greedy, he feels responsible for Miyoko getting picked on because of his relation to her, he's still learning the way back to the Aoi family's home, and now he's surrounded by all of these weird creatures that apparently no one else can see.

Suddenly, he's no longer that carefree toddler we saw sitting on his dad's lap as the two of them watched over his late mom's garden.

I feel moderately certain about Natsume's experience with the storm, coupled with this pivotal and devastating shift in his life, being the plausible cause for him developing his irrational fear of thunder as a child.

After this arc, we aren't greeted with another scene featuring or centered on his astraphobia until chapter 85 (which doesn't appear to be adapted in S7 judging from the PV😭), and it focuses on Natsume, Tanuma and Taki viewing a limited exhibition at an old inn that has a deep history with youkai. Not too long after the owner engages in conversation with Taki, Natsume and Tanuma briefly comment on how peaceful the inn is making the both of them feel, and a sudden lightning strike cuts through the tranquility of the inn.

It catches everyone off guard and, unsurprisingly, has Natsume frozen in place as Tanuma asks him and Taki if they're alright.

Much like Nyanko-sensei's first time mentioning Natsume's fear, the moment doesn't last long as the gang soon realizes they'll have to spend the night at the inn while they wait for the sudden storm to pass.

By this point in the manga though, Midorikawa has evidently decided to make Natsume's astraphobia a recurring element of the sorts. She could've easily left his astraphobia as another facet of his that we get to see once or twice and never again since it's not serviceable to the story as a whole, but she's started using his phobia as an additional means of displaying his discomfort in any given situation. Having a thunderstorm suddenly appear during a moment of serenity, immediately after Natsume tells Tanuma the place is making him feel strangely good, was a brilliant move of jarring him. And it works especially well here as a sign of the looming threat that'll find its way into the inn over night and slowly creep upon the group the longer they remain there.

Midorikawa pulls this same stunt again to slightly greater effect in chapter 117, where Natsume, Tanuma and Nyanko-sensei happen upon the Kisaragi Manor and find themselves taking part in a ritual for summoning youkai.

It starts with the trio meeting up in the evening to view the bamboo lanterns, but a woman claiming to be in search of a mansion requests their help to find it before it gets too dark, as well as to avoid getting caught in a downpour should the drizzle grow heavier. While Tanuma shows interest in the ritual, and the people they meet are treating them somewhat cordially, Natsume is disconcerted by the arrangement they've found themselves in. He's surrounded by five women he's never met in his life, is once again in an unfamiliar place that feels weird in Nyanko-sensei's own words, and is thrown for a loop by everyone's enthusiasm with the idea of meeting youkai rather than being put off by them.

The group isn't even a minute into their summoning ritual when a huge boom of thunder shakes the room and causes a power outage, sending them into a brief stint of darkness until Hitomi relights the candle.

While waiting for the candle though, Natsume answers Tanuma's question by for once admitting that he's bothered by thunder, leading to Nyanko-sensei characteristically picking on his phobia by calling him a chicken.

Again, the moment is subtle and restricted to one corner of the page, but it sticks the landing. Instead of using the lightning or thunder as a sign of things to come as she's done before, Midorikawa uses them here as an integrant of an already somewhat concerning scene slowly veering towards being disturbing. In addition to selling just how uncomfortable of a situation this is for Natsume, it also depicts how far along he is in his friendship with Tanuma to be honest about an irrational fear we know he'd rather not speak of.

Alas, chapter 117 was our last time seeing thunder scare Natsume, at least until the next time Midorikawa chooses to use his fear to her advantage, unless the anime miraculously surprises us with its own original take as we've seen it isn't afraid to do. What we've been given so far though is plentiful in comparison to many other plot points or quirks that get reused or called back to far less than this one. I won't throw a tantrum if his never gets referenced to or utilized again (which I doubt will happen knowing Midorikawa's writing), but I eagerly anticipate seeing it again should it reappear.

It's captivating to watch this minor detail frequently make it's way back into the story somehow, to the point that it eventually cemented itself as a miniscule yet effective way of shedding different shades of light on the many complexities of Natsume.

[delta-06]

𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐨𝐬t

𝙶𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚡 𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚂𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍

𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 ☞︎︎︎ 𒊹︎︎︎𒊹︎︎︎𒊹︎︎︎

SFW

Ok now we need some proper Simon Riley appreciation post. The majority of people (not all of them) think he is some kind of heartless man and would hurt you but that is not the case, YES he is introverted and YES he may be a bit hurtful with his words as a kind of defence mechanism with people he doesn’t know and doesn’t wanna know anything about them, but what about his boyfriend? He would still joke with you and treat you like a friend because a lot of trust is required to be someone’s s/o. Knowing this, we now may be at a cross point: is he a really fond individual or is he just a more casual type? For me, he is more on the casual side. Nothing fancy and nothing too involving for sure but he makes sure to maintain this relationship.

The first time you confessed your love to him he was like: ‘’Oh cool, I have a boyfriend now…is it some kind of friendship?’’. Didn’t know anything about how to be in a romantic relationship as he had been in denial of his feelings for you since the Task Force was formed, and then he straight up walked away.

After he processed everything, you and him took things slowly. At first everything was just as normal as before but now you two knew that behind these ‘’good morning’’ or ‘’stay safe’’ there was something more behind.

At Valentine, since Ghost and the others were on a mission in some remote place lost in the wilderness a thought in his mind crossed and dashed away everything he was thinking of. At the end of it, he came up to you as he had in his blood-stained bare hand a small bouquet of yellow, violet and red local flowers, both tall and small. When you took them in your hands and thanked him wishing back a happy valentine, he swinged your back to make it face the others, who were speaking with the general on the computer screen for breefing, pulled his skull mask up his nose and whispered a low ‘’Such a good boy on the field eh? Following my orders perfectly, I wonder if you can do that in bed too…’’ while sliding his hand under your black t-shirt.

With that he gently placed a gentle kiss on your cheek and went away putting his mask over his face again. He didn’t show it but his mind was a mess of ‘’What the fuck did I do!!! Stupid repressed animalistic thoughts…betraying me like this??’’ and so on. Little did he know that he actually voiced what he wanted deep down. The kisses you two exchanged were always quick and hugs were sparse and sometimes too sudden to even feel anything, not even the other’s warmth, so he unconsciously voiced what he wanted. A small break for the two of you without people interrupting and the need to always be on guard if someone is approaching.

He didn't really call you with pet names such as "my love" or "baby" as he didn't really have a need to use them, but when he discovered you liked them he...kinda had to search online when to use them as he was a mess in all sorts of romantic things. He eventually came to a halt and just gave up so he now had to figure things out for himself. I have to imagine this guy on google or reddit asking on how and when to use them💀.

NSFW

Make out sessions were quick, hell…they left you two frustrated! Everytime things were getting serious a call or a problem with recruits ‘’happens’’ to be there. You two gave each other a look of ‘’I am going to end someone’s life today’’ and parted ways.

The first time he called you a good boy red appeared on your cheeks and small inner jumps of joy filled your love-depravated mind in that moment.

It was a quiet night, finally, some time for yourselves as you had your boyfriend all over you leaving kisses and bite marks. He had you pinned under his weight as a sort of ‘’try and escape this bitch’’ to show off the hard won dominance. His skull patterned balaclava was on his face (the mask stays on during this type of private time, no buts), just above the scarred bridge of his nose, with one hand, he held your upper back down and with the other he supported your stomach area. Usually he was a bit more calm but now he didn’t truly care, he held a steady pace, not that you minded, but you noticed he didn’t let out any kind of sound, just the occasional grunts. But then everything changed as he stopped and lowered himself near your ear: ‘’I wasn’t wrong after all before, eh pup? Such a good puppy for my love? Taking what is yours without uttering a word-’’. If you didn’t scream of joy in the mattress under you now, you didn’t know where and when else. Your cock twitched with enthusiasm and when Simon saw it, he laughed deeply while smiling: ‘’You truly do like it, eh? Being called "pup" or "good boy", I didn’t know, really!’’, you laughed too and put an arm around his head that was on one of your shoulders as you pouted back a ‘’Fuck yes if it comes out your mouth!’’. He gently kissed the area where his head was in agreement and nuzzled the crook of your bare and warm neck. After that round, he promised to call you ‘’pup’’ from time to time since your mouth curled up in pure joy every time he said that, of course… only when you two were alone and maybe very lowly and near your ear only when Price was around and wasn’t really listening (he is the only one who knows about you too).

[osakhee]

like that, perv!sohee x reader

! obsessive behavior, voyeurism (from both sides), reader kinda take revenge on sohee, dry humping, blowjob, a little bit of spit... some cum eating kinda...

based on the song like that by babymonster

note : i LOVE that song so badly but the lyrics are absolutely insane i couldn't stop thinking about it its been WEEEKKSSSS and finally i decided to do something out of it... lyrics will be written in red, please enjoy :3

if you ask him, sohee will tell you it's not that bad. no, he's not being too much. it's not too much when he follows you around the corridors, it's not too much when he tries to take pictures of you when you wear special kind of outfits, it's not too much when he sits behind the bench in front of your building so he can get a peak of you in your pajamas when you get close to the window. he likes you, it's a common behavior, isn't it?

you know sohee has been keeping an eye on you since the start of the year. you know he's been watching closely, a little too closely. you used to have a quite normal relationship with him, just two classmates that share a lot of classes together, and sohee has always been friendly. you don't really know what happened, but his behavior flipped after the first month. he used to sit next to you and he loved chatting between classes, but you soon found him sitting at the very far back of the class. even if you thought it was in your head, you could swear you felt his eyes on you the whole time. and sohee avoided you in the hallways. sometimes he would walk very close to you, without looking at you and his gaze fixed on his shoes.

you were a bit sad, sohee could have been such a nice friend through this school year, and you kept wondering what you did wrong. did you do something that hurt him? the whole time, you felt really terrible as if sohee's behavior was your fault. maybe just seeing you made him feel bad and he couldn't do anything about it, so you started mirroring the way he acted with you.

it's only after months of feeling a pang of guilt in your heart every time you saw him that you finally caught him. you arrived late to an early morning class, and you had to walk behind sohee to reach your desk. that's when you saw on the screen of his phone a picture of you in a very weird angle, probably a shot taken really fast and in an awkward way. and you couldn't miss the way sohee was slowly palming himself through his pants, his finger drawing circles on the faint bulge poking at his jeans. it felt dirty, and disgusting, you hated every part of it. the pretty and innocent face of your classmate turned out to be one's of a pervert that got off by seeing you.

since that moment, you became more aware of sohee's acts toward you. the way his eyes would quietly travel your curves, his hand in the pocket of his sweatpants each time you met him in the corridor and the weird tension each time he had to speak to you. after a while, you started finding funny how desperate he was. he was probably dreaming of having you all to himself, probably fucking you or anything else he could have in bed, but in the end, he was only jerking off in the school's bathrooms.

instead of confronting him in front of your class like you had decided at first, you decided to play with his mind. just because it was much funnier that way. on the days you shared classes with sohee, you started wearing your most revealing clothes, you created appealing outfits to fuck with his head. and you couldn't help the smile on your face when sohee would rush out of the class the second it ended, or the blush that creeped on his cheeks and up to his ears. and the best of all, sohee was completely oblivious. he had no idea you were playing with his heart -and dick, for some reasons-, he just thought to himself that he got really lucky to meet you.

you knew sohee would often follow you home. it's the part that creeped you out the most, and you thought it was also the most pathetic of them all. fucking his fist at school with his tshirt in his mouth to muffle his moans was a thing, but jerking off to the sight of someone while sitting outside of their home was another level of desperation. you started walking more often in underwear in front of the window, only closing the blinds when you were sure sohee left his poorly hidden spot.

each day only made sohee grow more addicted to you. just your scent when you walked past him, or the outline of your body when the lights were dimmed in your apartment, it was enough for him to go over the edge all the time. he spent another evening sitting beside the bench in front of your building, his eyes quickly wandering to the open window on the first floor so he would catch a glimpse of you taking off your hoodie and ruffling your hair. god why do you need to be attractive to him? why is he feeling that way each time he sees you? just like any other day, sohee couldn't help himself, his hand quickly making its way inside his boxers so he could massage his dick to the sight of you. more than often, he'd end up covering his underwear in the sticky liquid after he wiped his hand on it before making his own way home.

sohee wished you would never know. his situation wasn't the best, and he could only dream of having you on your knees for him, he wished he could take you with him and hide you somewhere so you'd be his forever. sometimes he felt like you would catch him taking sneaky pictures of you and it made his whole body burn with anxiety, his heart pounded in his chest to the point he believed it was going to jump out. he felt ashamed, but how else could he act? he liked you, he wanted you so much, he couldn't think of any other ways to fulfill his desires and needs without having to tell you. probably because he would melt on the spot if you ever asked him about it.

one more evening of watching sohee fumble after he came in his pants outside your window and you had enough. he was so desperate, you were sure taking care of him was going to be a dream come true to him. you almost felt pitiful when you imagined his pretty eyes turning wide. after all, that's all he wants, you were doing him a favor! maybe if you have fun, it wouldn't be a one time thing. you decided to consider it like a punishment, it made you feel a little better about it. a revenge, a way to fight back for his nasty acts.

you walk into class and look right at sohee. you meet his eyes and he immediately looks away, you can already see the red that paints his cheeks. you smile to yourself, he's so easy to play with, you couldn't wait to make his mind spin. for one of the first time, the class seems endless. you're really passionate about your studies, but your brain is focused on sohee and what you planned for him.

and when finally your class ends, you quickly get out so you could catch up on sohee. he's walking away so fast in the hallway that you almost lose him, it's like you're taking his place when he chases you home at the end of your day. when he finally slows his pace, you extend your hand to grip his wrist. sohee jumps in surprise and turns to you, his heart is pounding so loud in his ears he feels like he's gonna pass out. he can barely recall how your voice sounds like, it's been so long since you spoke to him, and when you call his name, he feels weak in his knees.

"sohee? can i speak to you for a second?"

"is there... something wrong..?"

his voice sounds so hesitant, he doesn't even try to free his wrist but the feeling of your fingers burn his skin to the bone. his breath gets shorter, his throat feels so dry he doesn't know if he'll be able to speak again. he licks his lips and looks down at your hand, where your grip is tight on him. you clear your throat and sohee looks back at you again.

"you know we have this essay due at the end of the week... you always do well, i figured out you could help, what do you think?"

"oh um... well maybe, when do you-"

"come over tonight? is that okay?"

"oh..."

sohee couldn't believe it, his flushed ears couldn't believe it. the forbidden door of your home finally opens, he will be surrounded with your scent, your clothes, and you all in the same place. he can't help but the warmth that colored his face with nervousness travels down his body to start a fire in his lower stomach. he looks away and nods, freeing his wrist from your fingers. he believes the smile that appears on your lips is just a grin of relief because he'll be studying with you.

you couldn't sit still while looking at the large clock on the wall, the seconds are ticking abnormally slowly to you. you look back at sohee and you could feel his anticipation from his seat, for once he seems really concentrated on your teacher's speech. as if he wanted time to stop so he would never have to follow you to your dorm room. he can't maintain eye contact with you, he wonders how he's going to even speak to you once it's just you and him.

the clock finally shows 5pm and you gather your notebooks. sohee is stuffing his paper sheets in his bag as slow as possible, he can feel your presence next to him and waiting for him. the silence between the both of you is unbearable to him when you walk home, you try not to innocently ask him how he knows what path to follow. you open your door and sohee wonders if he still have the time to run away. suddenly his spot behind the bench outside feels really safe and comforting. but you lock the door behind him, and he knows he's trapped for god knows how long with you. how is he supposed to stay concentrated? you're everything in his mind, you devour every little thought he can have, his blood flows in his veins so he can wake up for another day and see you. after all, he just likes you. just a normal amount.

you offer a seat to sohee at your desk, there's only one chair, you just want to be polite. you drag the chair closer to your bed so you could sit in front of him, and once sohee is settled, you plan can finally start. sohee's leg bounces nervously on the floor and he fidgets with his fingers to avoid putting any kind of attention on you. he knows if he does it's going to be impossible for him not to get hard immediately. you walk behind him, your hand rests on his shoulder and reaches the back of neck, brushing your fingers in his brown hair. sohee is completely frozen in place.

"sohee? did you hear what i said?"

oh. sohee jerks his head up to look at you from the corner of his eye, and you make your way in front of him. he can't escape you anymore.

"what did you say..?"

"i said, i know the look upon your face, you know?"

you walk so close to him sohee can feel your scent filling his mind, he feels like his heart is going to explode, he wants to hand it to you so you could keep playing with it as much as you want. you sit down on his trembling lap, your hands on his shoulders, and the boy in front of you is just a mess under your eyes.

"i might know what you need sohee. if i show you that i know what it's like, would you like that?"

"w-what do you mean..?"

"if i come close baby, do you think you will like that? much closer?"

your breath hits sohee's lips, his desperate eyes plead you to make the first move, to make him realize he's not having another dream. instead, you cover his jaw with warm kisses, you suck a little on his skin, your fingers tangled in his hair. sohee grips his knees so tightly he can feel his nails digging into his pants. you trail your mouth down his neck, you discover every hidden mole on his throat, your teeth sink into his skin and you listen to sohee's whines with a smile. you draw your body closer, your hips pressing down on his. you tug a little on his tshirt to reveal his collarbone, tracing the curves with your tongue, and sohee swears he's going to lose his mind. he's going to wake up, and nothing is going to be real. or if it is, he's going to be home soon but empty, you steal everything, his brain, his heart, his lungs, his secrets. and when you suck on his shoulders to paint pretty red spots, it's like you're sucking his soul away. when you stand up to look at him, his eyes are heavy with need, his hair already feel damp and some strands stick to his temple, his lips are a darker shade of pink probably from staying between his teeth the whole time.

"are you scared sohee? because if you do, i know the way to make sure you never leave."

your voice turns into a whisper that sends a delicious shiver to his spine.

"baby would you like that?"

sohee finally looks into your eyes. the way he nods so eagerly and desperately makes you smile, you slowly roll your hips into his and watch his face contort in pleasure. his eyes flutter shut, his head falls back, exposing his neck. you immediately attack his skin again, and sohee's hands that clawed at his pants catch your shoulders, he pushes you closer to his body as you cover his throat with hot kisses. you can feel his hips rut into yours messily, the hard bulge growing in his clothes brushes you each time. you let all your weight on him and grind your core harder, this time sohee moans audibly. the noises he makes fall into your ears like a melody, one that stay in your mind and play over and over again. one that gets you obsessed.

sohee is breathless, he feels so hot it makes him dizzy. if you don't stop your actions anytime soon he will definitely cum in his pants. it's not new to him, but in front of you it's embarrassing. he wanted to hide. deep down, he wanted to have you watching him, he wanted you to know, to make him yours too, but his innocent facade is almost unbreakable. he's shy, he's embarrassed, you know you'll need so much more to melt his armor.

"sohee baby... how do you feel? tell me."

"mhh i... c-can i have more..."

you can finally feel the crack in his voice, you're slowly making your way inside his locked mind. your hand travels down his chest and under his tshirt that's starting to cling to him, your nails graze his skin and you can feel his shivers under your fingertips. you hips rock against his to a steady rhythm, sohee's hands finally resting on your waist after he found the courage to hold it. his high pitched whines fill your room, he can't hide the pleasure that courses through his veins and burns in his stomach. when you nibble on his earlobe, you feel sohee's grip tighten and he moans your name, his hips twitch against yours in a desperate need of release.

"you like that? better than your hand hm?"

"s-so much better..."

"right baby... i know..."

"please p-please don't stop i'm s-so close..."

it would be too easy to let sohee have his way. he guides your hips into his with weak hands, his moans grow louder each second. you finally stop all movements and you hear sohee's breath stop in a silent whimper, like a desperate cry. when you look at him, he's so pathetic, tears shine in his eyes and threaten to fall off his eyelashes, his face is flushed and his hair messy from how many times he pushed them away. his tshirt now sticks to his chest that moves heavily, and when you get up from his lap, you can see the wet spot that formed on his sweatpants from how much he's been leaking under you.

you walk around him, almost like a predator that finally trapped its prey. and that's how sohee feels like under your hungry gaze, as if you are going to eat him whole. you're already tearing up his mind, the flow of thoughts frozen from the pleasure so intense it makes his head spin. your hand holds his jaw from behind, you tilt his head the way you want and play with his face with your fingertips. each touch sends jolts of pleasure through sohee, making his cock twitch in his pants. the way you whisper in his ear has his eyes rolling back in his head.

"is that what you want sohee?"

"i want- i w-want it so much..."

"don't worry baby, i'll make you feel way better than in your dreams."

you kiss his temple, your hand rest on his neck and you push his head to the side. your lips go down his jaw while your hand goes under his damp tshirt, you rub his chest with your nails and watch him lean into your touch. sohee almost cries when your hands leave him again, as if being far from you is now painful. he doesn't know a world where your hands aren't on him anymore.

your hands hold his knees and you part his legs enough to place yourself in between. sohee can't get his eyes off you anymore, the mask he tried to keep on for so long finally breaks, he gets drunk on your touch, he craves your gaze into his, if he ever felt shame for a while, it got wiped out by the pleasure and the lust. your hand grabs the bulge between his legs, you massage him very slowly through his pants. it's a sweet torture but sohee wishes he could feel it everyday, all the time. you finally pull down his sweatpants, you lean closer into his thighs so you can give kisses to his cock through his underwear. the fabric is already wet from the amount of precum that keeps leaking from his swollen tip, your tongue traces the outline of his hard length through the fabric and sohee can barely hold it any longer.

"m-more... please g-give me more..."

"i know baby."

you finally slide sohee's boxers down and the heavy sigh he lets out once his cock is free has you shivering. it throbs painfully under your gaze, his pink tip desperately calling for you. you lift your eyes to meet sohee's when you open your mouth, you let your tongue rest flat on his slit. immediately sohee's hands cover his face but he can't hide the moan that erupts from his throat, and the others once your hand grab his dick. you let spit dribble from your tongue and down his length while you give him slow strokes, mixing it with his wet arousal.

sohee feels like he could cum at any moment, especially if you keep jerking him off with that look on your face. you take his tip between your lips and eagerly swirl your tongue around it, you just play with the head of his cock for a while until sohee's cries of pleasure get louder. his hands grip your head and his fingers tangle in your hair when you take him deeper inside your hot mouth. you feel him hit the back of your mouth, he's pushing your head down but you try to keep your own steady pace. the way your tongue goes all the way up his length and circle around his tip has sohee breaking apart, he can't stop himself from getting louder and louder. he can feel the tension so close to break and burn his insides, he feels like he's gonna catch on fire soon if you keep going.

you never planned to stop. you jerk him off a little more and tease his slit with your thumb while covering his cock with messy kisses, and when you put him back into your mouth you can tell sohee can't hold it any longer. you let him have his way just for once, his grip on your hair tightens and he fucks his hips up into your mouth to finally chase his orgasm. it comes crashing on him, he buries himself as deep as he can in your throat before stilling his hips. you feel his warm cum fill your mouth, you let it drip on your chin and down your neck. sohee finally lets go of your hair and lean back on the chair, he's spent and exhausted, he's convinced he'll never feel that kind of pleasure again. when he looks down and sees your face covered with his sticky load, he swears he could cum again right on the spot. you slowly get up and kiss him, you share with him nothing but roughness when you play with his tongue and taste his seeds with him. you leave him panting even more as if his breath isn't already ragged by the high he's coming back from.

sohee smiles like an idiot. he feels like he's in heaven, and heaven is definitely your room, with you in it. he feels like he doesn't need to hide anymore, he gets up from the chair and lets his hand rest on your cheek, wiping away the remains of his cum. his eyes are still blurry but the way he looks at you could almost melt your heart. you pull his sweatpants and underwear up and tidy up his shirt, you savor the confused look on sohee's face. you reach for his hand and walk him around your room, you head for the door. he's still as pathetic and clueless as ever. you open the door and drag him outside, he just stands there in complete disbelief. back from heaven and straight to hell.

"i never give pervs like you a second chance. hope you remember that day though, you'll never feel like that again even in your wildest dreams."

you close the door shut.

YAYYYYY PERV SOHEE YAYYYYYY i love him

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

If it’s not too much, may I request how Coffee views everyone. He one of my fav skeletons u write

Undertale Sans - They're friends. Coffee likes Sans really much actually as Sans is always calm and knows how to deal with him when he's too anxious. He feels safe around him and regrets he can't hang out more because Wine doesn't like him.

Undertale Papyrus - They're close friends. Coffee is struggling to follow Papyrus' energy sometimes, but Papyrus is extremely patient and works hard to include him in everything he wants to do. Papyrus is also a bit mischievous and likes to drag Coffee into trouble. Coffee usually completely forgets his anxiety when he's hanging out with him.

Underswap Sans - He's often hanging out with Blue when he's hanging with Papyrus. Blue is less patient than Papyrus, but he tries to hold back when Coffee is around. Coffee can tell that's because his brother is a little like him and so he knows how to deal with the constant anxiety. Honey is also one of his best friends so he sees him a lot and they grow closer.

Underswap Papyrus - Coffee and Honey are best friends. When Coffee is not home, most of the time, he's hanging out with Honey, Rus or Ben. Everything seems natural with Honey. They're both artists, and they both like movies, comics, and animals. They can just hang out in bed for hours in complete silence and still have fun. Additionally, he doesn't need to talk all the time and can be understood even when he can't speak. Honey also likes to cuddle and don't think it's weird Coffee is lacking affection so much. They're just comforting each other.

Underfell Sans - Coffee likes Red, even though Red is not always nice to him lol. But sometimes he gets scared outside and Red is sometimes the only one that looks a bit like his brother so Coffee feels safer hanging out with him. Added to that, he knows even if he acts like he's annoyed, Red actually likes him and often asks his brother how he's going when he doesn't show up for a while. Red is a big softie, he's just hiding well.

Underfell Papyrus - He sees Edge as a sort of role model. He's big and strong and confident, and Coffee would love to be like him one day. Well, that's not ready to happen, but at least Edge doesn't push him away, far from that. Edge is actually nice to Coffee and patience. He doesn't know why, but Coffee awakens his protective instincts. Edge is not huggable though, which frustrates Coffee a little.

Horrortale Sans - His second dad, quite literally. When Coffee has troubles, he runs to Oak for help because Oak has adult energy. He's older, so he knows what to do when he messes up big and doesn't know what to do anymore. Oak doesn't mind, he likes having him around. Oak also likes to talk shit about Wine and learns things to Coffee that he knows Wine is going to hate.

Horrortale Papyrus - They're good friends. Coffee likes hanging out with Willow because he is way less energetic than Blue or Papyrus. Willow also taught him how to cook and Coffee is always excited to help when he comes to the farm.

Horrorswap Sans - It took him four months to notice Blue and Nugget are not the same person, despite, you know, the missing arm. He always wondered why Blue was colder sometimes, but now it makes a lot more sense. He still likes Nugget, even though something doesn't seem quite right with him.

Horrorswap Papyrus - He loves hanging out with Pumpkin, but it's best if there's someone to supervise them. Usually, when they're all alone, one of them will have a panic attack somehow which he's going to make the other freak out and have a panic attack as well. They love painting together though, and the fact Pumpkin can't talk is kinda making Coffee more comfortable.

Horrorfell Sans - They grew closer since he's always hanging out in the farm. Coffee likes that he's calmer than Red and a little more gentle. He's like a calmer version of his brother which doesn't want to take control of the whole world, which helps him to take a break from Wine from time to time.

Horrorfell Papyrus - Like Pumpkin, Coffee is weirdly obsessed with Chief. He doesn't know why, he's comforting. Maybe that's because he looks scary even though he's in a wheelchair and Coffee knows he can count on him to defend in case something bad happens. Or maybe Chef has butterfly pheromones that attract Swap Papyruses, we'll never know.

Swapfell Sans - Nox makes him uncomfortable, mainly because he's always fighting with his brother and tries to manipulate him to go against Wine. Coffee doesn't like he thinks he can't think by himself and even though he hangs with him a lot because of Rus, he doesn't like him.

Swapfell Papyrus - Rus is one of his best friends. He never gets bored when Rus is around. They took a long time to warm up to the other, but watching their brothers' shenanigans got them closer. Rus awakened Coffee's chaotic energy he didn't know he had. He's also a terrible influence and drags Coffee in his machiavellian schemes to ruin people's day. They got in trouble together a million times and they'll do it again. You know what they say? Opposites attracted. They both have literally opposite personalities and they can't get bored of the other.

Fellswap Gold Sans - That's his brother. Coffee loves him and still sees him as his role model, even though life on the Surface taught him Wine hid a hell lot of things from him. He desperately wants Wine to understand he needs more independence and to start a new life now, but Wine is not ready to let go yet.

Outertale Sans - They don't know each other that well. They met once or twice when he hung up with Sun, but that's all. He seems nice though!

Outertale Papyrus - They're friends, but they don't see each other often because Sun is working a lot. But they enjoy the small moments they can be together, even more since they both love painting.

Dancetale Sans & Papyrus - All Coffee knows is that apparently they're famous and pass on TV sometimes. He never met them though, or maybe saw them once or twice from far away.

Dancefell Sans - They're friends, even though they don't see each other a lot. He likes that this version of Red has anxiety like him. They have actually a lot of things in common. Except for the dance. Coffee hates dancing. But he likes watching his friends do it for the both of them.

Dancefell Papyrus - They're friends... He thinks? He's not sure. Tango is weird. Sometimes he acts like their the best friends ever, and sometimes he completely ignores him to talk with his TikTok fans... Coffee is not sure what's their relationship or even if what he thinks of him is really sincere or motivated by views. He has mixed feelings about this.

Farmtale Sans - He's family. Coffee is pretty much always hanging in his house or with his brother, and Sam is just happy his brother has someone to talk to. Sam is always there when Coffee needs it and doesn't hesitate to scream at Wine when he does something that makes his brother anxious. Coffee confesses easily to Sam when he doesn't feel well and he's glad to have his support whatever he does.

Farmtale Papyrus - Ben and Coffee are pretty much brothers at this point. They're always together, it's rare when they don't see each other for more than two days in a row. They have similar personalities and they warmed up pretty much immediately because they like the same things. Ben is also a lot more anxious than Coffee, which he didn't think could be possible, so he sometimes has to make choices for both of them, which is very new for Coffee. They're helping each other to heal from past traumas and they're so happy they have each other to gossip at 3 in the morning.

Mafiatale Sans & Papyrus - His brother asked him to stay far away from them, and just staying two minutes in the same room than Creeper told him Wine was right and to not interact. They're scary.

Mafiafell Sans & Papyrus - They kidnapped him once to piss off Wine and Coffee and decided he doesn't like them. Fang is nice to him, but Torpedo is a jerk, he's mean and he scared him on purpose. He hates them, he doesn't want anything to do with them and he's still mad at his brother for letting them do that to him.

Ink - They're friends, he thinks. He's not sure honestly. His brain struggles to understand what's the matter with Ink. Blue is already hyperactive, but Ink is at a whole another level of hyperactivity and he struggles to follow him. It doesn't help that Ink forgot him several times in different AUs, like this time he had to run for his life, chased by a T-Rex Papyrus who wanted to eat him alive. He's not a big fan of traveling with Ink.

Error - Accidentally got caught by Error once and that was the worst time of his life. Error threatened to erase him if he didn't tell where was Ink, but he really didn't know where Ink was and just cried in fear for two hours. Eventually, Error got bored of him and released him, and Coffee promised to never stay in his way again lol.

Disbelief Papyrus - They're close friends, it's no surprise to anyone. He's a calmer version of Papyrus, and so Coffee feels safe around him. Delta is also a good hugger, and that's good because Coffee doesn't like that he looks so sad sometimes.

Killer Sans - They're friends, but Killer acts a little weird sometimes and creeps him out just a tiny bit. Coffee doesn't trust him entirely because he has a very high LV and he knows that makes monsters unstable. But at the same time, Killer is funny and knows how to make him comfortable. Coffee knows he lost his Papyrus too and so he's nice to him because Killer calls him Papyrus sometimes and looks really regretful. It never for long, but Coffee can tell he's not feeling well.

Dustale Sans - They have a relationship for sure. What type though? No idea. Dune is just standing there, holding his hand, making him very uncomfortable. Sometimes he sniffs him too. Coffee is not sure if it's positive or if he wants to eat him. Probably a little bit of both. That's both scary and fascinating.

[chrysanthemumgames]

That ask about Hades appearance was something I had thought about before too, and reading that it was immediate and he was aware of it now makes me wonder just how he felt about it, was it hard to get used to or was he just like "oh, okay"? Did anyone expect that to happen at all? Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions btw you're awesome 💐

No problem, anon!

As for how he felt about it, well... there was a sense of alienation there, for a while. His body had changed, very much without his input, and while the changes were ultimately to aspects of himself that he didn't care much about one way or another, it was still quite jarring, and compounded the fact that he suddenly had powers he'd never had before, had suddenly, in fact, become not just a user but a font of magic, and, most alarmingly, now caused living things around himself to die.

It was a lot. Getting to the place he's at now, where he's still a bit sad about some aspects of his power but more or less accepts it as part of him, and has come to think of his physical form now as more 'his' than it ever used to be... took time. In some ways it's still in progress—as many people have noticed, he is still insecure about his power in the sense that he worries it will make others afraid of him. He, himself, has accepted it, but he knows not everyone necessarily does or will, and that part's still the source of some angst.

He knew what he was getting into in the sense that he knew becoming the Underworld would change him. But actually experiencing it was very different. Sometimes you have to go through something to really get it, and this was one of those cases.

[petalsscribbles]

9. in the middle of the night

If Yn were to describe his sleeping habits in the popular bird terminology, he would clasify himself as a slightly neurotic offspring of a night owl and an early bird. He goes to sleep late and wakes up early on most nights. Sometimes anxiety induced insomnia robs him off his already alarmingly short sleep.

Tonight is not one of those nights when thoughts run around in his brain like a hamster in his tiny plastic wheel, doubts screech and bang two huge cymbals together and worries hold a techno rave.

It's one of those nights where a single sentence haunts him like a ghost, like a shameful secret.

Because you're already in love with someone else.

Well.

Is he?

Yn tried not to dwell on it, mostly because he doesn't want to think about it and figure out Seunghwan was right. The reality of it evokes a lot of ifs. Yn doesn't like ifs, especially what ifs. But he couldn't help help himself, and now he's dangerously close to the possibility of faving feelings for Matthew.

Matthew... His best friend, his soulmate and proclaimed platonic husband. He's someone Yn can't afford to lose and admiting to himself he likes Matt could cost him their precious bond.

He wishes he could talk to Matthew about this. He's the emotionally intelligent one while Yn is absolutely dense. Matt always helps him makes sense of his emotions, guides him through them. He understands him like nobody else, better than Yn understands himself. But Matt is the last person he can talk to about this.

Yn turns on his side, as if a new position would somehow trigger him sleep switch inside his brain. Something much different happens.

Matt is tossing and turning, sweating, mumbling distraught pleas.

Yn sits by his side and shakes Matthew's shoulders.

"Wake up." He whispers and shakes with a bit more force.

Matthew wakes up with a yelp and fear in his eyes. he looks around frantically, still not quite grounded in the real word.

"It's okay. You had a nightmare but I woke you up. You're alright now." Yn comforts as he caresses Matthew's hair. As his eyes meet Yn's, last traces of terror vanish and his shoulders relax. He shuffles forward, wrapping his arms around Yn's chest, face burried in the crook of Yn's neck.

"Thank God you're okay." Matthew says, warm breath tickling Yn's collarbone.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Yn reassures, hands soothing still slightly trembling body. "Was the nightmare about me?"

Matthew releases a shaky exhale.

"Yes." He says as he pulls away slightly, arms still secured around Yn. "All my nightmares are about you. That's why I called you whenever I had one. To make sure you're alright."

"You should have told me. I could've climbed into your room."

"And make you risk breaking all your bones? No way." He rejects right away.

"You always did it for me." Yn argues.

"Yeah, but unlike you I can actually climb without snapping my neck." He argues back, flicking Yn's forehead to assert his point. Yn rubs the sore spot, unknowingly pouting. If only he knew what that face did to Matthew's heart.

"Let's get back to bed. We have to get up early." He suggests and guides Yn to his bed. Yn just watches him as Matthew basically tucks him in, wondering how can someone like him exist in this world. It should be Yn taking care of him, but Matthew has always put the needs of others before his own.

"Are you really okay now?" Yn asks as he sits up, mostly to reassure himself.

"Yes, don't worry." He smiles. "You're here with me, that's all I need."

Yn lies down with a thud, staring at the cracked ceiling.

Here comes the hamster wheel, the cymbals and the rave, now joined by a loud parade of ifs.

A/n: the amount of times i googled words to cofirm they mean what i think they mean is ridiculous

taglist OPEN comment/ send ask to be added

@xavi-in-kpopland @starchasing-cryptid @tarotarosung @bubblztaro @gnusihcom @monstaxpuppy @academiq @molanran @teoluvsyou @zhaegon @asherthehimbo @letolucas @rickyshen-luvr @xiaoquanquans @desafortuno

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[gullwrites]

what happens, happens

photo source

Kind of a Cynosure prequel, though I have definitely been thinking of putting it in either as a prologue or Act 2 beginning in some way, probably a bit edited. This one has been on my mind for a while, hehe.

Summary: A medical examiner arrives to work in the morning and finds an unexpected guest by her door.

Warnings: Mentions of death, autopsies, unethical research practices

Dr. Campo entered the building, slightly shaking off the waterdrops off her umbrella before leaving it in the basket by the door. She could have sworn the weather forecast didn't have rain for today, at least in the morning. Driving to work was incredibly annoying today, and the darkness of 5AM didn't help.

On one hand, she enjoyed coming to work at 6 in the morning. The offices are empty and no one comes to annoy her while she's working - not that they come down there that much, barely anyone has business in a megacorporate autopsy - and she gets to leave two hours earlier, in theory, at least. She mostly just takes two hours during lunch to see her spouse or go meet up with friends. It's not like the corporates would let her leave at 2PM, especially with the tendency to give her too much work sometimes, especially paperwork.

She smiled at the security guard as a 'hello', quickly showing her ID card as she passed by. The same woman has worked here for years, and was always on the morning shifts. Dr. Campo felt like they have, in some ways, turned into friends that way, sometimes stopping to have a conversation on different topics.

Today, though, she sadly didn't have the time to do that. Waking up and seeing that there's an urgent case that needs to be solved really annoyed her, in a way.

She entered the elevator and swiped her left wrist by the chip reader to gain access to the lower floor. Sometimes she wondered what's the point of the ID cards if all the info can be found on the chip. Not that touching everyone's wrists sounded more exciting.

As she stepped out on her floor into the corridor, she stopped. Someone was there, by her workplace door, sitting on the floor. Deep in their thought, clearly, as they didn't seem to notice her arrival and instead continued reading something, the unnaturally dark purple hair being lit by the hologram view of the document.

Dr. Campo switched the lights on and cleared her throat. "Can I help you?"

They looked up, surprised that someone was standing in front of them. It took them a while - to collect their thoughts, she thought -before they could answer, "Um, yes. I'm here about Dr. Nejem."

"Who?"

"The, um, the woman who died in one of the labs yesterday? They said you'd be the one who would, um, see what was the cause of death," they "explained". She heard the person's voice shake a little, as if they were clearly upset by this topic.

"Wait a moment," she said and took out her tablet, "Hm, no, I haven't checked the body yet," she noticed the person wince at the word 'body', as if it somehow hurt them. "Who are you, again?"

The person sat still for a moment, looking at her, before slowly rising up, slightly leaning on the wall for support, left leg slightly bent. "I, um, I'm Ripley," it mumbled and showed Dr. Campo its ID card. Dr. Ripley T. Katz, pharmaceutical chemist, R&D department, and additional info like pronouns, home office and the other things corporate cared about. She looked at its face again, frowning. It looked younger than her daughter, and seemed to have already lost the happiness it showed on the ID card photo.

"This, uh, Dr. Nejem, a collegue of yours, I assume?"

Ripley nodded, but didn't seem to want to say anything else.

"You mentioned she died in a lab? Was it an accident, self-inflicted, caused by-"

"She took an experimental drug we are working on, hoping it would help with her injury," it said, its voice slightly shaking again, forcing it to pause for a moment. As it took a deep breath, it continued, "I'm, um, sorry, I'm not sure if I can say anything else, I-"

"I understand," she said, hoping that would calm it down a little. It wasn't her first secret project case the higher-ups had thrown to her. Definitely not the last, either. So much for the two-hour lunch break, though. "Anything else I should know?"

The chemist looked at her tablet. "It's in the report."

"Hm. So what are you doing here? I can't give you anything yet, as I've just arrived here. Come back in a few hours a-"

"Can I stay?"

"What? Why?"

"I, um... I feel like I owe it to her, as in, to find out what went wrong as soon as possible, I-" it paused, looking for the right words, "If it wasn't for me, this wouldn't have happened... She would've still live... It's, um, my fault?"

"What, was it you who gave her the substance or something?"

Its eyes widened, and frown on its mouth got wider. "No! I would never, that's- It's still in the early stage, why would I ever want to give it to a human at that point?"

"Then what is your pr-"

"I'm the one who came up with the idea for this thing, I-" it looked down and covered its face with its hands, "If I never got this idea, this wouldn't have happened. That's why I need to figure out what went wrong. Why she died. So I could fix it."

Dr. Campo stared at it for a moment. She never agreed with the company's idea of taking young scientists and working on their ideas, but this just made her hate the whole thing. A twenty-year-old should be enjoying its life, not blame itself for causing someone's death in a corporate lab, which it most likely had no control over. "Well, it was her choice, then, to take it, no?"

"Uh, what?"

"She chose to use it?"

"I, um, yes? I guess? But-"

"Then it's not something you can be responsible for."

Ripley stared at her with its dark brown eyes, clearly not believing her - or then just not being able to.

She thought how long it's been waiting for her here, the whole night? She doubted it would go home if she didn't let it in. "Fine, if you really want to, you can come inside and sit somewhere," she said as she opened the door.

It slowly followed her inside, then stopped near one of the tables close to the exit. After slowly looking around the room and not noticing a chair nearby, it sat on the table, wrapping its arms around self. "It's, um, kinda cold."

"A little, yes," she said as she turned away from it and walked to her desk. Her co-worker had left a few notes for her, one sticked to the hologram projector she used instead of a screen. She placed her tablet down and connected it to the projector, and quickly swiped through the tabs to find the correct one. "Okay, so, first off, I-" she turned back to the chemist, only to notice that it had curled up on the table, looking like it was asleep. It probably tried to look for a comfier position to sit in, and it ended up being too comfortable, she assumed.

Dr. Campo considered waking it up, at first, but then stopped. This way, it'd be less likely to slow her down with questions or by doing something, or just moving around as she worked. And no one would show up, anyway, so it was unlikely anyone would say anything about it.

Besides, it looked exhausted. Like it really needed some sleep.

She turned away and started preparing for the procedure.

[purple--queen]

I thing Marvel missed an opportunity to make Steven grant a millionaire in the mcu.

All the jokes about: you never see Steven Grant & moon knight in the same room.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

can I just. shriek. over the way smoothies are marketed so strongly as for weight loss and how oh no we should not put one (1) gram of sugar in it because we MiGhT gEt FaT because I'm just. I'm here looking this stuff up as a way to trick my silly little brain into eating more. I do not need this to be any harder than it already is

[ulmus-spellook]

Me on Saturday: looking up info for timing in the closest city “I know I won’t be able to see the total eclipse from my part of the country, but I could at least see a partial one!”

Me on Sunday: it’s raining outside and it looks like the kind of rain that lasts more than 24 hours “oh no.”

Me on Monday: I look outside around noon, it’s cloudy out and when I opened my weather app it said it would start raining soon *sigh* “the clouds have once again prevented me from witnessing a cool sky event” we really need this rain though. It would have been nice if it came a few days sooner! There would be less fire and the sky could be clearer for the eclipse

So today I’m hearing people online talking about how cool the eclipse was and just being like: “I’m gonna be honest. I accidentally slept through the last partial (solar) eclipse and I couldn’t even see this partial solar eclipse if I was trying”

I know I’ve seen lunar eclipses though, my insomnia was at least useful there

[kalashtars]

venting in the tags yippeee

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.