#but last summer while I was visiting my parents there was a really strong storm and I got to see them across the whole sky!

[ulmus-spellook]

Me on Saturday: looking up info for timing in the closest city “I know I won’t be able to see the total eclipse from my part of the country, but I could at least see a partial one!”

Me on Sunday: it’s raining outside and it looks like the kind of rain that lasts more than 24 hours “oh no.”

Me on Monday: I look outside around noon, it’s cloudy out and when I opened my weather app it said it would start raining soon *sigh* “the clouds have once again prevented me from witnessing a cool sky event” we really need this rain though. It would have been nice if it came a few days sooner! There would be less fire and the sky could be clearer for the eclipse

So today I’m hearing people online talking about how cool the eclipse was and just being like: “I’m gonna be honest. I accidentally slept through the last partial (solar) eclipse and I couldn’t even see this partial solar eclipse if I was trying”

I know I’ve seen lunar eclipses though, my insomnia was at least useful there

[bnhabadass]

Pairing: Hawks x Reader Warnings: N/A Genre: Fluff Word Count: 4.5k Synopsis: You're surprised when your best friend tells you she's dating pro hero Hawks. As you get to know him throughout his frequent visits to the tea shop you work at, your uncertain despisal of him may just turn into romance. 

When your best friend told you that she was dating the number two hero you laughed in her face. “It’s true!” she pleaded. Her eyes gleamed against the hanging lights in your kitchen. She looked as if she were a lovestruck middle schooler doodling hearts and writing her initials in the margins of her notepad. But you knew her like the back of your hand and you were well aware of her habit of compulsive lying.

You spent the following week teasing her relentlessly for making up such an outlandish lie. Yui Nakamura, your best friend in the world. She was an up-and-coming actress who claimed that she was slowly taking Japan by storm.

“I guess I just caught the number two hero’s heart from my last film,” she told you. It was all she could talk about for a solid week, leaving you rolling your eyes and sticking your tongue out in a fake gagging motion every time his name was brought up.

It wasn’t until she brought him into your place of work that you finally realized she was telling the truth. The small jingle bells tied to the doorknob of the shop rang as you were crouched behind the counter, sorting loose tea leaves into their respective jars.

“This is my favorite place to get an iced tea in this hot weather,” her sickeningly sweet voice cooed.

Your ears perked up. Grabbing one of the jars of tea leaves, you stood up with a big smile on your face, ready to greet your friend. That smile, however, didn’t last long. Instead it was replaced with a punch in your gut and a ringing in your ears as you saw the person standing in front of you holding hands with your best friend was the number two hero in Japan.

You should have known something was off when the few people sitting in the leather chairs and at the counter looking out into the street had gone silent. Everyone’s jaws were slack in amazement at the hero before their eyes. A few people whispered about how much more handsome he looked up close or how they didn’t realize how vibrant his wings actually were.

The only person who didn’t look shocked or happy that he was there was the number two hero himself.

“(Y/n)!” Yui exclaimed. “How’ve you been?”

“Um, good,” you managed to choke out. Your eyes never left the winged hero.

“I see you’ve noticed my boyfriend,” she giggled. Her happy-go-lucky smile never left her face. It seemed as though her biggest wish had come true. It’s no secret that she had been pining after the hero for years, playing back footage of his rescues and showing them to you over and over again. She would always cover her eyes when watching his fights because she “couldn’t bare to see his beautiful face get hurt” and you would have to tell her when the scary parts were over.

“Hawks,” you spat out.

His golden eyes dug daggers into you. “Yes?” His tone was uninterested and very clearly bored. It left a sour taste in your mouth.

“I, um, well I, ya know, I didn’t–”

Yui cut off your stumbling with a fluttering laugh, the kind of laugh they romanticize in a shoujo manga. “(Y/n)-chan didn’t believe me when I told her you were my boyfriend,” she said in a sing-song voice. “Now come on, Hawky, what do you want?”

Hawks visibly cringed at the nickname she had given him. Hawky, like the sport but spelled like the bird. Even you could admit that it was pretty bad.

“I think I’ll have the iced hibiscus tea,” she said. Her hands fumbled for her wallet.

“I’ll take a small sencha.” You never expected the winged hero to drink tea. It seemed so unlike him. He seemed much more of a coffee kind of person, needing the extra energy to fulfill his hectic life.

“All right, your total is 540¥,” you said. As you brewed their tea, you couldn’t help but keep an eye on Hawks and the little things about him. Sure he was attractive, but was that really enough to satisfy your friend? He didn’t seem very interested in her as she tugged on his sleeve like a little kid clinging to their parents.

As you called their names with their orders in hand, you were surprised when neither of them went to grab their drinks. Instead, Hawks sent two of his feathers to grab them out of your hands. They were so delicate yet so strong.

Yui smiled as the feather fluttered around her before presenting her drink in front of her.

“Let’s go,” Hawks said, still with a look of boredom plastered to his face, but maybe there was more to him than you thought.

You got to know Hawks a little more during the next few months. It’s true that when you first met him he was not your cup of tea. He and Yui would come into the shop and as Yui chatted your ear off about all the sweet nothings he would tell her, Hawks always seemed to zone out or lose interest in the conversation relatively fast. From the outside it looked like he didn’t care about her and that made your blood boil. But there had to be more to it, right? You’re sure that Yui wouldn’t bother with someone who didn’t seem to care about her.

It was at the end of summer when Yui told you the exciting news. She was cast as a major role in a new film and would be flown to Yakushima Island for the shoot. As she told you the good news, her smile never faltered. It was as if all her dreams were coming true and the different pieces of her life were being put together like a puzzle.

“I’m really happy for you,” you said while pouring hot water over a tea bag with oolong in it. “I can’t wait to see the film when it’s released.”

“I can’t wait for you to see it too! It’s going to be rough being away from Hawky for so long but I think we’ll both manage.”

You turned around before she could see you rolling your eyes at the ludacris nickname. You’re not sure how it managed to stick throughout the months, and every time you hear the words pass her lips it triggers a shudder to run through you. “When do you leave?”

“Next week. You have no idea how excited I am, (Y/n).”

You were happy for her, you really were. Yet part of you felt like you were being left behind, stuck in the mud. While she had her handsome top pro hero of a boyfriend, you spent your nights alone and as she went off to chase her dreams of being one of the most famous actresses in Japan, you were still pouring hot water over tea leaves as you have been for the past two years. It didn’t seem fair, but you would never let her know that.

The next week went by quicker than you had hoped and Yui was off to the airport. She, of course, stopped by for one last cup of tea before she left.

Once she was gone the leaves began to change. Red, orange and yellow leaves fluttered through the air onto the ground and gusts of wind would push them across town, occasionally dropping them off in front of the tea shop’s door.

This time of year was always your favorite. The smell of cinnamon and spice floating through every tea, pastry and coffee shop always made you smile in delight. A new shipment of pumpkin tea had just arrived and you couldn’t resist ducking down to stick your nose in the box and smell the leaves through their packaging under the counter.

The homey smell ravished your senses. Your mind was instantly filled with wonderful fall memories. Jumping in piles of leaves as a kid, drinking hot tea by the window and watching the rain outside trickle down the gutter of your childhood home. Carving pumpkins and dressing up in inappropriate halloween costumes back in your college days. It all came back.

“Do I even want to know what you’re doing?”

The all too familiar voice of Hawks startled you, and as you leapt up out of shock, you hit your head on the counter top. “Ow,” you croaked. Reaching for the fridge next to one of the display cases of teas, you grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and placed it on your head. “Hi.”

“Hello to you too.” There was a cocky grin on his face, unlike what you’ve seen of him before.

“Yui’s out of town.” Why was he here? There was no reason for him to be if his girlfriend was gone. Since he started showing up with Yui, the shop had gotten much more traction. More people had shown up asking when the pro hero was coming next or which seat he sat in. You were sick of it all.

“I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t get a cup of my favorite tea from my favorite barista.” His cheeky smile grew and you beat yourself up for blushing at him compliment.

“What’ll it be then? A small sencha?” You grabbed one of the small to-go cups in preparation.

“Nah let’s switch it up a bit.” He eyed the list of teas up and down, ogling the glass containers with delicate tea bags placed inside. “What box were you sticking your nose in just now?”

You looked down at your feet in shame, cheeks heating up at the memory. You had hoped he would forget about what he just saw or at least wouldn’t mention it out of pity for you. “Pumpkin tea. It’s a new shipment that just came in.”

“Huh,” he pondered. “Is it good?”

Your head shot up. “Seriously? You’ve never had pumpkin tea before?”

“Nah the commission doesn’t really like it when I eat or drink things that aren’t in my diet.” He wove his hand through his blonde locks, pushing them back out of his face. “They’ve been a bit more chill about things since I started dating Nakamura, but I’m still on a pretty strict food regiment.”

The fact that he referred to your best friend by her last name almost made your heart ache. For how much she doted on him he barely seemed to care. “That sucks,” you said. “Do you want to try it?”

He chuckled a bit. “Yeah, let’s give it a whirl.”

You heated the water and poured it out in a hot stream over the tea bag. “Here you go. That’ll be 280¥.”

He slid the coins over to you and held the piping hot to-go cup up to his nose, breathing in the heat and letting it run through him. A soft smile overcame his features and he pressed the cup to his lips, letting the brew hit his tongue. His eyes shot open. “Wow. That’s incredible.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Isn’t it really good?”

“It is!” He smiled up at you and you couldn’t help but drink in every detail of it. It was a happy and relaxed smile, one that a child would give after tasting candy for the first time. His eyes grew brighter than the sun as the tea coated his taste buds and pulled him into euphoria.

“Um, excuse me?” a small voice croaked from behind Hawks.

He moved to the side, revealing a small young woman holding hands with a little boy. He was chewing on an action figure and as he pulled the head out of his mouth you could see the bright flames of Endeavor coated in a layer of thick saliva.

“Hey there,” Hawks said. “I’m sorry, do you need to order?”

“No no no!” The rosey cheeks of the young woman deepened as chills of embarrassment filled her. “My son here is a really big fan and, well, we were hoping we could get an autograph.”

You weren’t sure how something like this would play out. You’ve seen the stares and the hushed whispers people give when watching Hawks and Yui in the shop. They almost look too scared to approach him, yet this flustered woman came out of nowhere.

“Yeah of course!” Hawks’ cheeky smile widened. He squatted so he was eye level with the boy. “What’s your name, little guy?”

The kid slid behind his mother’s hip, unsure of what to do or say.

“I see you like Endeavor. You have good taste. He’s one of my favorite heroes too.”

You watched in awe, jaw slack as if you had been slapped in the face, as you watched Hawks laugh and ruffle the kid’s hair. He signed a notebook that the kid’s mother gave him and just as he was about to say goodbye, the kid shot his arms up in Hawks’ direction. You could feel yourself melt on the spot as he picked up the giggling boy, spinning him around. It was so unlike him to do that, but at the same time it was everything you had ever imagined in the stories that Yui would tell.

That was the first time that you realized you were beginning to fall for your best friend’s boyfriend, and after that nothing would be the same.

Hawks came in and out of the shop more and more frequently, only now ordering a small pumpkin tea. As the days went by, the weather grew colder. Chilly winds howled past the store and jingled the chimes out front.

Hawks sauntered in, giving you the grin and nod he was now accustomed to.

“Small pumpkin?” you asked, gripping your scarf and holding it closer around your neck.

“You know it,” he winked.

You hated how every time he walked up to the counter your breath would hitch and your heart would skip a beat. The little wink he gave you definitely didn’t go unnoticed by you. You hid the flushed feeling by burying your face up to the tip of your nose in your scarf.

“So what’s been going on in tea land?” he asked. His fingers danced across the display of cup sizes and tea cakes to the side of the register. They stopped, resting on the side of the jar labeled “TIPS” in a fat black marker over bright colorful construction paper.

“Same old,” you replied. “How’s hero work?”

“Same old.” The two of you had grown comfortable with minimal conversation, almost finding it endearing that the two of you could communicate so much with so few words.

“And Yui?”

Hawks took a moment before answering. You looked up from the tea you were preparing but averted your eyes the second you realized he was staring at you. “I’m thinking of breaking up with her.”

You couldn’t pay attention to what he said next. All you could hear was the ringing in your ears at hearing his words. He was breaking up with her. The recent nights you had spent fantasizing what it would be like to be the one held in his arms at night seemed more in your grasp. The thought scared you a little.

“Hey, are you listening?”

“Huh?” He snapped you out of your thoughts. “Sorry, I think I zoned out a little.” You could feel your face heating up. “Why are you breaking up with her?”

“It’s been about four months,” he said, still toying with the rim of the tip jar.

It bothered you a little how he kept looking at it. Either put in a tip or leave it alone, you wanted to yell at him.

“Four months,” he repeated as if he needed to double check. “That’s when our contract is up, at least.”

You were confused. What was he talking about? “What do you mean?” The skepticism on your face made you look like a puppy being taunted with a bone.

“Heh, you’re cute when you’re confused,” he said. “Our relationship,” he trailed off in thought, trying to find the right words. “It was never real, I guess. Never has been.”

As Hawks spoke about the contract the two of them were under, that her agent and the people working at the commission made them sign, your jaw became more and more unhinged.

“Why did they force you to date in the first place?” The shrill of your voice was hard to tame.

“Her agent knows my people well,” he admitted, referring to the commission. “And they thought this would be good for her publicity. They were right since it got her the big movie she’s working on, but they told us if nothing happens after four months we can end it.”

“I see.” You were still trying to put the pieces together in your mind. “So you never really loved her.”

He couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. “I thought that was pretty obvious,” he admitted. “Look, I know she’s your best friend and all but she’s kinda hard to be around and to get along with at times.”

Deep down you knew he was right, but hearing it come from someone that you knew Yui loved and trusted made your blood boil. What made you feel even worse was the growing hope within you that if Hawks didn’t like someone like her, he could possibly fall for someone like you.

He looked down at his phone to check the time. “Shit, I have training with my intern in ten minutes.” As you slid his drink towards him he fished into his wallet to pay. Taking out an extra bill, he folded it up and put it in the tip jar. “Promise me that when I break things off with her you’ll be there to comfort her?”

The question took you off guard but you nodded anyway.

He smiled a deep and genuine smile that showed so much more emotion than could be understood by the human brain. “Thanks. She’ll need a good friend like you to keep her company.” And with that, he dashed out the door quicker than your eyes could follow.

A week went by and you heard nothing. Hawks didn’t come into the shop to tell you how it went and Yui hadn’t texted you with any of her usual updates for how the movie was going. It wasn’t until you were locking up shop on a Friday night that you received a FaceTime request from Yui. You texted her, assuring her that once you got home you’d call her back. You knew that he did it and she needed to hear from you right now.

Snuggled into the plush fabric of the side-of-the-road sofa in the middle of your living room, you called her back. It only took one ring before she picked up. Her face was blotchy and red and the makeup she wore on set was streaking down her features.

“What happened?” you asked, fully aware of the situation.

She explained in detail everything that had happened, from the warm tea she was holding in her dressing room when he called her to break things off to the way his eyes shimmered with both sadness and relief as he told her what was on his mind.

You tried to reason with her as she blew her snotty nose into tissue after tissue. Phrases like “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you” and “You’re better than him anyway” often came up. Truth be told, you were only paying attention to her side of the story half the time. You slipped in and out, mind wandering over to where Hawks may be and how he must be doing.

“Maybe he had a reason for doing it,” you finally said once she had started to calm down.

“What?”

“Do you think he, I dunno, wasn’t happy?” You shrugged a bit. Your eyes traced the rhombus patterns on your carpet as they avoided Yui’s saddened expression. “Maybe he just wanted to be a free bird is all.”

You looked up from your carpet and came face to face with Yui’s eyes. Once doughy and glossed over with a thick layer of gelatinous tears, they now held a form of anger and hurt that you have never seen from her. “How could you say that?” she asked. “How could you even think of taking his side?”

“I’m not taking a side, I–”

“Yes you are!” Her face was turning red and as much as you wished to defend the man you had caught feelings for you also wanted to be there for Yui. “I don’t know how you could defend him right now, you guys aren’t even friends.”

Hearing her say that hit you deep in the chest. Of course she didn’t know how often Hawks had swung by the shop. Of course he wouldn’t tell her.

“You barely know him, (Y/n), so why are you defending him?”

Why were you defending him? Even with Yui out of the picture, there would still be a slim chance that Hawks actually felt the same way you did. He’s the number two hero, an icon in more ways than one. His fangirls pooled at his feet constantly. Why would you, just a simpleton working at a tea shop, have a chance with him?

“I can’t even talk to you right now.” She was looking down, refusing to make eye contact with you through the small screen.

“Yui, I–”

“No. Just,” she trailed off. “Call me when you know whose side you’re on.”

And with that she hung up and you were left alone. You felt terrible, like the worst friend in existence. You needed something to calm yourself down after the shitshow you had a feeling would be your last conversation with her for a long time.

Your shaky figure got up off the couch and went into the kitchen, putting up the water for a cup of tea. Your hands visibly calmed down once you gripped the hot mug with the pumpkin tea bag swirling inside.

“Hey baby bird.” As you walked into the living room, the person lounging on your sofa startled you. You let out a scream and the hot tea sloshed out of your mug and hit your chest, the thin material of your shirt and the knit sweater you dawned doing little to nothing to stop the burning sensation. “Ah shit.”

Hawks ran up to you and pressed the sleeve of his hero costume against your chest. “I’m sorry. Are you all right?”

The wince you gave him let him know his answer. “What are you doing here?” you managed to croak out once the heat subsided. “And how the hell do you know where I live?”

“Followed you home,” he said like it was nothing.

“So you stalked me.”

“I like to call it stealth training.” The grin on his face resembled a snarky cat and as pissed off and angry you were about him and Yui and everything, you couldn’t help letting out a laugh.

The aura between you two was both friendly and awkward. It seemed as though you both wanted to say something but didn’t know what. As Hawks kept rubbing his sleeve against your damp clothes, his eyes trailed over your face and tried reading into what you were thinking.

“I talked to Yui,” you finally let out. “She’s mad at me.”

“So I heard.” He stopped moving and rested his arm on your shoulder. “You deserve better friends.”

You looked away. “No. She does.”

He let out a laugh. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You, (Y/n), are kind, compassionate, care about your customers and you actually take time to listen to others. And I know Nakamura would say the same thing.”

Somehow the use of your friends last name didn’t bother you as much as it used to. What did cause you to blush was the sound of  Hawks saying your own name. The sound of it leaving his lips had an imprint on you like no other.

“And those,” he continued, “are some of the many reasons why I started to fall for you.”

You felt a sting in your cheeks as they grew hot from his words. He liked you? Did you hear that correctly? He fell for you? The same way you fell for him? The only thing you could think to do was let out a “huh?”

And Hawks let out a toe curling laugh. “I like you. Have liked you for a while now.”

You didn’t know what to say. You were so overwhelmed with emotion. All you could even think to do was stare at him with your mouth agape.

“Hello?” he waved his hand in your face. “Earth to (Y/n).”

You shook your head and the rest of your body, getting any jitters out. “Um, yeah.”

He barked out another laugh. “So, do you got something to say to me or are you gonna leave me hanging?”

You took a sharp inhale. “I think that I might also like you,” you said. “A bit.”

“Now was that so hard to say?” He took a step forward, raising a hand to cup your face. He wasn’t ready, however, when you stepped away, shielding yourself from him. “What’s wrong?”

“Yui is what’s wrong.”

It dawned on him how difficult and confused you must’ve been feeling, especially if you’ve liked him for as long as he’s had feelings for you. Yui Nakamura is your best friend so of course having feelings for her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend, would make you fall into a pit of despair.

“I’m sorry.” You turned away, walking back to your kitchen.

Even though you clearly wanted to be left alone, Hawks followed you and stayed in the door frame as you put up water for another cup of tea. “You remember when I caught you sniffing the heck out of that box of Pumpkin tea?”

You made a disgruntled noise of agony as you buried your head in your hands.

He chuckled. “That’s when I realized I had feelings for you. When did you know you had them for me?”

You sighed. “Look, Hawks. I really wish that things were different and that Yui wouldn’t be mad at me, but–”

“It’s a simple question, baby bird.” He reveled in the nickname.

Your eyes wandered over to the kettle and the soft heat that rose from the stove. “I think it was when I saw you give that kid and his mom and autograph and, I don’t know, you’re just...really good with kids is all.”

“Is that really all?” His cocky smirk struck you and you couldn’t help but hit him playfully.

“Shut up, asshole.” The kettle went off and you grabbed two mugs, placing pumpkin tea bags in each. “I like you, but I love Yui.”

“So I’m assuming that it would be inappropriate for me to kiss you right now?”

You handed him one of the now full mugs, your face lowered to hide your subtle embarrassment. “You are correct.” The two of you stood there in the middle of your cramped kitchen, neither darring to take a sip. “But,” you started. “We can maybe cuddle on the couch a bit and talk, if that’s something you want.”

His golden eyes brightened. “Yeah, baby bird. I’d like that.”

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Californian Dream (Pt. 11 of 11)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.3 K

Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.

Warnings: Light violence

<- Previous part (10)

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

California Never Felt Like Home

Even though he's not going anywhere any time soon, you hook one leg around his waist, just to pull him a little closer. “You're my prisoner now.” You mutter, sleep still clouding your voice.

“I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.” He answers, placing kisses all over your face.

“The good part is that we'll have all the afternoon to ourselves.” You giggle, moving to lay on your back with Billy hovering over you.

“I'll take you to see the sunset on that beach you like. Completely desert.” He says in a low voice. “If we survive your parents.”

“We already did.” Kissing him, you move to lie on top of him. “It'll be at this super expensive, fancy restaurant, so it means they won't yell at me or put on a show.”

“Sometimes I think you should consider what you're giving up.” He gets sad suddenly, sighing. You know what he's thinking about, and it will take time for Billy to see and understand this is what you really want.

“I'm giving up a huge house I never felt like it was mine. Lots of money that never brought me happiness.” In between the words, you place kisses all over his face. “But what I'm getting...? God, it's amazing.” Sitting up, you straddle his hips. “I got real friends now, and a home. And an awesome boyfriend who doesn't compare to the assholes on my parents' list.”

“I'm so happy I'm around to see the good daughter rebelling.” He sits up too, strong arms encircling your waist. “You look so good, little rebel.”

“You're just saying that because I'm wearing your shirt.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you raise an eyebrow. Yesterday, you decided to pick one of his shirts to put on instead of your regular pajamas.

“Babe, you look good on everything. But I gotta admit seeing you wearing my clothes is very hot.”

Smiling, you can't help but blush. “We still have a few hours, so I think we can maybe make out for a while?” Biting your lip at his smirk, you giggle.

“Starting the day off with good ideas already.” He mutters, holding you up and throwing you back on the mattress. “This is the first day of the rest of your lives, you know that, right? Because I'm never letting you go. Unless you get tired of me.”

“I don't think I'll ever get tired of you, so yes...” Caressing his cheek, you take a deep breath, the sunlight illuminating his face. “The very first day of the rest of our lives.”

•••

The morning bliss had to be interrupted. But, as you sit across from your mother at the restaurant, you don't feel scared, or nervous. You feel perfectly fine. You're not dressed for this place, you can see it in your mother's eyes, but you don't care. You like the clothes you're wearing, and your mother's disgusting stare makes you chuckle under your breath. Making yourself comfortable, you ignore the silence. Nobody is saying anything, and your father has been staring at Billy as if he could kill him with his stare.

“So... I believe you want an explanation.” You start, cupping your hands together above the table. “Billy and I are dating. And I'll be living with him.”

“Is it some kind of joke?” Your mother interrupts, leaning closer. “You can't possibly think I'll believe you'll do that.” You're about to say something when she raises a hand, and you shut your mouth. “I get it, (Y/N). Billy is good looking, he has this appeal, he's different from the guys you're used to, rougher around the edges, I get all that. But this? This is insane.”

It's only a matter of time for the insults to begin, you're aware of that. “That's not all, mother.” You add, not even considering giving her a proper answer. “I'm not going to course Law anymore. I'll look for something I actually like. And go to the public University.”

“What the–”

“I have a good job now, at a store of diving equipment and I love it.” Cutting your father short, you raise your voice just a little. “That's my life now. I'm not going back to the house, but I want you both to know that I'll visit, of course, and you can visit me whenever you want and–”

“I'm not going to let you throw your entire life on the trash because of the freaking pool guy.” Your father's voice storms out, making a few people look your way. He does seem a little embarrassed, but definitely angry. “This man–” He points at Billy, and you hold his hand under the table. “–he can give you nothing. Nothing. What do you have in life, Hargrove? I shitty job, a tiny apartment. Do you think you can provide to someone like my daughter?” There it is. The insults. And, knowing exactly what Neil told Billy, you won't let your father treat him this way.

“You wanna know what Billy gave me, father?” Smiling, you begin. “He gave me a life. I never felt truly happy, never. Not in our mansion, or those fancy galas, or wearing fashionable clothes. Never. But with the pool guy, as you call him, in his tiny apartment with his lowlife friends? I finally felt something. I finally felt life was worth living.”

“Alright.” He slams his fist on the table, glancing at your mother, a mean smile on his face. “If you insist on doing this, I'll disown you.” He giggles, a hand half covering his mouth. “You won't see any cents from me anymore. Is that what you want?”

He looks like he got everything figured out. Exchanging a stare with Billy, you can tell he's worried. Does he think you'll fall for this? Squeezing his hand a little and smiling, you try to reassure him. He must feel awful, seated here, and listening to all this shit. “I–”

The waiter comes and you're cut short, waiting for your parents to order whatever they want to eat. “Oh, finally. We'll want Muffin Pan Shrimp Ragoon. Thought I'll give my kid one last decent lunch at a decent restaurant. What do you think?”

Seriously? “I can't eat that.” You think it's so obvious, but by the look on your father's face, he doesn't get it.

“What? Do you want to order something more expensive as a goodbye to your good life?”

“She's allergic to shrimp,” Billy speaks for the first time, his voice strong and deep. Both your parents look a little surprised, but soon enough recognition comes to their faces.

They completely forgot, but it doesn't bother you. You're happy Billy actually remembered it. You only mentioned it once, at the gala. “It's alright, though. We'll have lunch by the beach.” You tell them, smiling at Billy.

“Let me guess...” He dismisses the waiter with a gesture of his hand. “Sandwiches and soda?”

“Actually, yes.” Exclaiming, you stand up, and Billy does the same. It's over. You told them what's gonna happen now, and they have to make peace with that. And if your father wants to change his will and cut you out of it, so be it. “I made them myself and they're delicious.”

“For goodness sake.” Your mother mutters, running a hand through her hair. “Honey, please think this through, alright? Your house will be opened whenever you want to come back.”

“Thanks, mom. I will visit, I promise.” That said, you smile at them before turning away, hand in hand with Billy, walking away from the table.

“You better wipe off your bank account, (Y/N), because you'll never get a penny from me again!” Your father yells, and you simply wave at him, not even bothering to look back.

When you're outside, you feel light-headed, relieved. “This wasn't as bad as it could be.” You breathe out, walking to where Billy parked his car, a block away.

“Did he mean it? About disowning you?” He sounds serious, despite the smile that's on your face.

Turning around without letting go of his hand, you start walking backward. “I don't give a damn.” Speaking slowly, you wink at him, stopping suddenly and letting him come closer by himself before grabbing the collar of his shirt and tiptoeing to kiss him, sweet and slow.

“What the– (Y/N)?” Someone calls and since you do know who it is, you keep kissing Billy for a while longer. “Holy shit.”

It makes you giggle when he pulls your closer, deepening the kiss. But eventually, you have to breathe, so you break apart, a smile on your lips.

“Care to explain why the hell you're making out with the pool guy? In public?” Daniel says as you turn to face him. He has a girl with him, but you don't know who she is. He seems better, given the time he spent held hostage. “Have you lost your mind, girl?”

Sighing, you roll your eyes at him. You have a lunch date on the beach, and you don't wanna waste any more time with meaningless people. “Yeah. I'm dating the pool guy.” You tell him, shrugging your shoulders. “Actually, I'm in love with the pool guy. And now I work at a scuba diving store, so you can come up with some kind of name for me too, but you wanna know what? I don't give a damn.” Pulling Billy harder, you start walking again. “I'd love to say that we'll be seeing each other soon, but we won't. So... Goodbye, Daniel.” Turning on your heels, you leave the couple behind.

The drive to the beach is short, and instead of sitting on the sand, you chose to seat on the hood of his car. Which he now calls Lily, and you peacefully eat the sandwiches and drink the soda. You wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. The ocean, the sunlight, the fresh wind messing with your hair. The simple food, the hood of his car... And him. Billy is certainly the best part. Having him here is indescribable, and knowing you'll go back home with him is even better.

“So... Will you help me chose something to major in?” You ask as he helps you climb off of the hood, taking your hand and starting to walk down the beach.

“Actually, I have some fresh news coming straight from Jason.” He says, a bright smile on his lips.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you stop to look at him. “What news...?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Heeler, from the store.” Billy starts, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “They want to retire and they're thinking about passing the store over to you and Jason since they don't have any relatives. If you both agree on being associates.”

“Oh my God!” You exclaim, tiptoeing to crash your lips on his. “This is amazing.”

“Please act surprised when Jason tells you.” In a sudden motion, Billy reaches for your thighs, pulling you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. Using his shoulder for balance, you giggle. “He didn't want me to tell you but I couldn't resist.”

“This is just awesome. This is...” Taking a deep breath, you take a look at the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing is low and calming, and the way the sunlight reflects on the water shines like liquid silver. Then, you look at Billy again, his smile warming up your heart. “I love you.” You haven't said it yet, but it feels like the right time. And this is how you feel. You've never been in love before, but you know how this is how it feels. Like someone owns your whole heart. “I'm not sure if you feel the same but I just need you to know that–”

“I'm completely in love with you.” Billy cuts you off, bouncing you up a little and making the way back to his car. “I have been for a while and that scared the hell out of me.” When you reach Lily, he puts you down on the hood, remaining in between your legs. “But now... I'm sure of it. I want a life with you. A future.”

Blushing, you smile, your forehead touching Billy's. “So that thing you said about me getting to pick the kid's names...” You tease, placing a kiss on the corner of his lips.

“I mean it, if...” Pulling away from a little, he locks eyes with you. “If you don't pick something silly like the name you insisted on giving my car.”

“It's not silly!” Playfully, you try to push him away, giggling when he grabs your sides, tickling you. “Alright! Alright!” After a while you manage to stop him, his hands going back to your hips. “We'll pick names we both like. How does it sound?”

“It sounds like we're talking about kids even before getting married.”

“What?” Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to process what the hell he just said. “Sorry, I thought you heard you talking about...”

“I never felt like the type for marriage but, God, I want to marry you,” Billy exclaims, connecting his lips to yours.

You have a lot to say, a lot of things to ask, but you surrender to the kiss instead. This is all the answers you need. His lips on yours, on this paradise on Earth.

California never felt like home because home isn't a place, but a person. Billy is your home. Wherever you are, if he's with you, it's the right place. Nothing else needs to be said. The life you had before vanished like smoke in the air, and this is even better than everything you could ever dream of. Not all the money in the world can buy this moment, and you don't regret a thing. Love is far more important, and now that you found it, nothing will make you let it go.

×

@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23 @lilred91 @moatsnow

[snitches-at-dawn]

girl in red || h.g.

request- can you do a wlw for hermione?

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this! it’s my first wlw and i’m a bit nervous tbh xx

word count- 1.3k

warnings- strong language

i saw hermione granger for the first time and my heart stopped. i remember it was in potions class on my second day at hogwarts- i had transferred in from ilvermorny when i was fourteen.

i almost fell into the dungeons after having lost my way about twelve times from dumbledore’s office where he had sorted me into slytherin- i figured that would be like horned serpent- the house i was in.

i stuttered an apology to the professor with greasy hair- snape his name was i learned later, and sat down next to blaise. our parents were friends and we always met whenever he and his mother visited massachusetts. 

“draco’s looking at you,” blaise muttered under his breathe to me as i pulled out my book, “the boy i told you about last summer when we met.”

“does he know i’m as gay as they come?” i asked laughingly.

“of course not,” blaise scoffed and handed me half his ingredients.

i looked at him with a smile, “you don’t plan on telling him do you?”

it took all of my effort to not laugh at his smirk which clearly said no.

“who’s that girl?” i asked, “in the red tie with those two boys?” i gasped, “is that harry potter?”

“that’s hermione granger,” blaise said with a sour look on his face, “with potter and weasley- they’re in gryffindor. slytherins and gryffindors are mortal enemies.”

“who cares? she’s gorgeous,” i breathed.

blaise looked at me sharply, “(y/n)- no. gryffindors are off limits for slytherins and vice versa. shag whoever the fuck you want, just not one of them. as far as gryffindors are concerned- consider yourself to be on an eternal no nut november.”

“but-”

“no ‘but’s, (y/n),” blaise cut me off, “you can’t.”

so i spent two long years rejecting boys who didn’t understand the concept of ‘not attracted to penis’ and pansy who got very handsy when drunk. i settled for wistful glances at her from afar. 

in my sixth year, i finally got a chance in potions. draco and i had become fast friends since i told him i was gay and we bonded over our love for girls. something was wrong with him today though- he wouldn’t tell me what so i left him huffing and took the only other unoccupied table. to my luck, hermione granger walked in- without her two flunkies for once

she was wearing that red tie again that suited her eyes so much.

“hi,” i heard her voice from behind me, “can i sit here? i don’t know anyone and i really don’t want to sit with the ravenclaws or malfoy.”

“of course you can,” i smiled and moved my bag so she could take the seat next to me.

blaise was glaring daggers across the room at me with warning eyes which i dutifully ignored.

“you haven’t lost your accent yet,” she said softly.

i laughed a bit, elated that she had noticed something about me, “i don’t really want to, to be honest. you guys talk so fast- i’d hate to lose the pace at which i speak for your accent and unfortunately they seem to come hand in hand.”

“i like the way you speak- and it’s quite brave of you to not feel like you have to change to fit in. very gryffindor of you.” she replied.

i blushed bright red and was saved from answering by slughorn and his belly which moved independent of him.

the next time hermione granger spoke to me was in charms class. she silently slid her ink pot towards me when she heard my quill scraping the bottom of my empty pot and she just smiled at me softly and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

i had all the breath knocked out of me- i couldn’t thank her even if i wanted to.

i returned the favour one day in the library about two months after that.

at some point we had sat at the same table in the library to study because all the others were full and this somehow became a regular occurrence. we’d take the table at the far end of the library and just study in silence with heart-racing brushes of hands and stomach-dropping eye catches.

one particularly crowded day, we were joined by some annoying gryffindor boy who clearly had the hots for her. he kept putting his hand on her thigh or playing with her hair. i had to dig my nails into my palms to stop from jabbing my wand up his ass.

why did men have such pathetic gaydars? couldn’t they clearly see she wasn’t straight?

 “mclaggen- i’m not interested. we went for slughorn’s party and it clearly meant more to you than it meant to me. i’m sorry i didn’t clarify that i wanted to go as friends. now please leave me alone,” she snapped when he tried to move his chair closer to her.

his face contorted unattractively, “fine. you aren’t that hot anyways. i’d rather go for ginny weasley anyways. you were a backup.”

hermione laughed, “ginny’s dating harry, so good luck trying to top the captain of the quidditch team when you couldn’t even make keeper.”

he stormed off making sure to bump into the back of her chair on his way out, making her ink pot fall over onto her shirt and tie, soaking her in blue ink. her red tie was royal blue now. i loved her in red.

i slid my ink pot over to her and softly under my breath scoffed, “men.”

she smiled at me thankingly, “tell me about it. they really can’t get a hint.”

i looked at her curiously to see a very knowing expression on her face and i smirked.

“i bet mclaggen wouldn’t even be able to take you on your ideal first date,” i said offhandedly.

“what do you think it would be?” she asked with her chin in her hand.

she was putting on a confident front. it was obvious that she was nervous and had no idea how i would respond. her voice was soft and manner was unsure- but there was a challenging edge to her tone. i looked back down to my work and continued writing while saying nonchalantly, “coffee and a bookstore. if i was taking you on a date, i’d take you to tomes and scrolls and watch you browse for as long as you want. i know you’d never let me pay for you so i’d make sure to note the names of the sequels of the books you’d buy so i can gift them to you later.”

i looked at her out of the corner of my eyes- her mouth was slightly agape as she heard me talk.

“once you were done there, we’d go to the three broomsticks- i’m not sure if you’d like the vibe at madam puddifoots- and we’d have coffee and hot chocolate until sunset. then i’d take you to the black lake and we’d just sit and talk till it was dark. your eyes...” i sighed, “they gleam in the sunset and they look like they’re on fire in the most gorgeous way. as if they were the only light in a dark room. finally, i’d drop you to gryffindor tower and kiss you goodnight and i’d have to tear myself away from you because i just know it’ll have been the best day of my life.”

i finally locked eyes with her and took a rattling breath. 

“how did you-” she stammered at me.

“i’ve crushed on you since i came to hogwarts, hermione. of course everyone told me to stay away from you because of our houses and well, you’re you. i want to take you out and love you and be perfect for you. let me-”

“okay.” she breathed, interrupting me.

“what?”

“okay.” she said again more confidently this time.

i grinned and blushed bright red.

we both turned to our work silently and studied together for i can’t even remember how long. finally when the library was almost empty, she got up, packed her stuff away and made to leave.

“hey hermione!” i called.

she looked back at me questioningly.

“wear red- it suits you.”

[withthingsunreal]

hey guys

did y’all know there’s a limit to how many links you can have in a post

adventure time masterpost part one

♥=my favourites Ω=significant plot (though sometimes this is not immediately obvious) ♪=a song happens ♫=a personal fave song happens ¿=just don’t try to think about it too hard okay

SEASON SIX

Ω 6x01/6x02 - Wake Up/Escape from the Citadel [WATCH] - Finn and Jake need to get to the Citadel, and Prismo agrees to help. But the Lich beats them to it, and it seems he's got some plans of his own.

♥ 6x03- James II [WATCH] - An excess of James.

6x04- The Tower [WATCH] [alt]- Finn's missing his arm, so he decides to build a tower into space so he can punch his dad and steal HIS arm instead. Solid plan, right?

¿ 6x05 - Sad Face [WATCH] - A circus, and a clown.

♪ 6x06 - Breezy [WATCH] - Finn's flower isn't doing so well, and Finn himself isn't feeling anything, but his new bee friend Breezy wants to help. Stay tuned for spook (me, that's me) starting a petition to retitle this show 'what the hell did I just watch.'

¿ 6x07 - Food Chain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake learn about the food chain by, um, living it.

6x08- Furniture & Meat [WATCH] - Mo' treasure, mo' problems.

6x09 - The Prince Who Wanted Everything [WATCH] - LSPrincess has a story to share with the Ice King, and LSPrince has a lesson to learn from Fionna the Human.

6x10 - Something Big [WATCH] - Something something Maja something Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant something something feelings?? Listen I don't know what I'm watching anymore ok

♪ 6x11 - Little Brother [WATCH] - Shelby has an accident, ends up with a little brother, and turns to Jake for brotherly advice. Well, giving Finn a sword worked out pretty well...

6x12 - Ocarina [WATCH] - Kim Kil Whan buys the treehouse and tries to teach Jake a lesson about responsibility. It goes suuuper well.

6x13 - Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe [WATCH] - Ice King and his fellow offbeats go on a wizard road trip to form their own secret society.

6x14- Princess Day [WATCH] - Breakfast Princess gets rude with LSP. Mistake! Time for her and Marceline to mess up the Breakfast Kingdom way bad.

6x15 - Nemesis [WATCH] - There's a great evil in the Candy Kingdom which must be stopped.

6x16 - Joshua and Margaret Investigations [WATCH] - Finn and Jake's parents fought monsters, too! Even when their mom was way super about-to-pop pregnant, apparently.

6x17 - Ghost Fly [WATCH] - Jake kills a fly, because flies are disgusting. But ghost flies seem to be worse. Oops?

6x18 - Everything's Jake [WATCH] - Bender searches inside himself and finds that Fry has been with him all along Jake goes on an inner journey, but like, literally. not really spiritually so much.

♥ 6x19 - Is That You? [WATCH] - Jake and Finn mourn Prismo, and then things get super bananas up in their dreamspace.

6x20 - Jake the Brick [WATCH] - Jake observes nature as he spends some time as just another brick in the wall.

6x21 - Dentist [WATCH] - Finn's tooth is in real bad shape, and he has to face facts: it is time for him to Go Dentist.

6x22 - The Cooler [WATCH] - There's a crisis in the Flame Kingdom, and FP makes the (objectively terrible??) decision to turn to PB for help.

6x23 - Pajama Wars [WATCH] - Sleepover in the Candy Kingdom! Nothing terrible is happening.

Ω 6x24 - Evergreen [WATCH] - Master Evergreen and his lizardy minion Gunther attempt to save the world.

¿Ω 6x25 - Astral Plane [WATCH] - Finn goes on an astral adventure, and sees some junk that may be relevant soon.

6x26 - Gold Stars [WATCH] - Sweet P starts school, and makes some new (terrible) friends.

6x27 - The Visitor [WATCH] - Finn follows his dream from Astral Plane and finds his least favourite massive disappointment at the end of the trail.

6x28 - The Mountain [WATCH] - It’s a Lemongrab episode. I don’t know anymore.

6x29 - Dark Purple [WATCH] - Susan Strong and some brave hyoomans on a rescue mission.

6x30 - The Diary [WATCH] - Fandom can be a consuming thing. TV finds an old diary and gets a little too into it.

6x31 - Walnuts & Rain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake get separated and go on different (weird) journeys.

6x32 - Friends Forever [WATCH] - Ice King tries to make himself some new friends. It goes terribly.

6x33 - Jermaine [WATCH] - After Jake has a shared dream with Jermaine, the boys go to visit their brother, who’s still living in their childhood home.

6x34 - Chips and Ice Cream [WATCH] - Chips, chips chips chips. Ice cream ice cream. (A travelling performer passes his curse on to Jake. It doesn’t go well.)

6x35 - Graybles 1000+ [WATCH] - Graybles, again, some more. Apparently the Candy Kingdom is still around however much further in the future, and someone’s still putting up string lights at Marceline’s. So there’s that.

6x36 - Hoots [WATCH] - The Cosmic Owl gets distracted by a mystery lady’s pretty set of tailfeathers.

6x37 - Water Park Prank [WATCH] - Finn and Jake (and the Ice King) spend the day at the water park.

6x38 - You Forgot Your Floaties [WATCH] - Magic Man, up to his usual biz, but this time he’s getting a helping hand from Betty. No way this will go horribly wrong??

6x39 - Be Sweet [WATCH] - For some inexplicable reason, Tree Trunks thinks LSP is a good choice for a babysitter. Yikes.

6x40 - Orgalorg [WATCH] - Gunther and the Gunts throw a houseparty.

6x41 - On the Lam [WATCH] - Martin finds another group of adorable creatures to try to exploit. yay.

6x42/6x43 - Hot Diggity Doom/The Comet [WATCH] - An election in the Candy Kingdom, and an impending catastrophe.

SEASON SEVEN

7x01 - Bonnie & Neddy [WATCH] - The King of Ooo continues his efforts to be the worst. PB has to help someone important to her get back to where he belongs.

7x02 - Varmints [WATCH] - Bubblegum tries to protect her pumpkin patch; Marceline lends a hand.

7x03 - Cherry Cream Soda [WATCH] - A candy citizen comes back from the dead, causing some complications for those he’d left behind.

7x04 - Mama Said [WATCH] - While out on a mission for the King of Ooo, Finn and Jake run into Billy’s ex-gf Canyon and decide to help her out instead.

7x05 - Football [WATCH] - BMO tries to do something nice for a friend. It does not go well.

7x06/7x07 - Stakes: Marceline the Vampire Queen/Everything Stays [WATCH] - Marceline has a favour to ask of PB, which results in her reflecting on the last thousand years of her life.

7x08 - Stakes: Vamps About [WATCH] - Marceline’s old nemeses are back, and she’s absolutely down to take ‘em all on again.

7x09 - Stakes: The Empress Eyes [WATCH] - Targeting the Ice King? Possibly not the greatest plan a vampire could have.

7x10 - Stakes: May I Come In [WATCH] - Jake finds his courage.

7x11 - Stakes: Take Her Back [WATCH] - Marceline’s out of commission, so it’s up to Finn and Jake to take on The Moon.

7x12 - Stakes: Checkmate [WATCH] - Four down, one to go.

♫ 7x13 - Stakes: The Dark Cloud [WATCH] - Marceline has to decide what she’s fighting for.

7x14/7x15 - The More You Moe/The Moe You Know [WATCH (watermarked)] - It's BMO's birthday, and a special guest is coming with a special mission for our lil robot buddy. yay?

7x16 - Summer Showers [WATCH] - Viola helps LSP put on a play, and Jake is super proud.

7x17 - Angel Eyes [WATCH] - BMO bribes Finn and Jake into playing cowboys and bandits.

7x18 - President Porpoise Is Missing! [WATCH] - An undersea authority figure appears to have vanished.

7x19 - Blank-Eyed Girl [WATCH] - Urban legends may or may not be baloney, and may or may not be out to get you.

7x20 - Bad Jubies [WATCH] - One heck of a storm brewing up some real nasty vibes.

7x21 - King's Ransom [WATCH] - Ice King isn't going to let anything stop him from rescuing his best bud, and Finn and Jake have got his back.

7x22 - Scamps [WATCH] - Finn rehabilitates some bad seeds.

7x23 - Crossover [WATCH] - Prismo needs Finn and Jake’s help with a junked-up timeline.

7x24 - The Hall of Egress [WATCH] - A dungeon keeps hitting the reset button every time Finn tries to exit.

7x25 - Flute Spell [WATCH] - Does Finn have a new girl in his life, or is he working on a different sort of magic?

7x26 - The Thin Yellow Line [WATCH] - It Is Okay To Be You, ft. The Banana Guards

7x27 - Broke His Crown [WATCH] - Bonnie and Marcie try to have a dinner date with the IK, but his crown is up to some weird biz.

7x28 - Don’t Look [WATCH] - Finn fails to follow the literal only instruction given.

7x29 - Beyond the Grotto [WATCH] - Sea lard rescue 911

7x30 - Lady Rainicorn of the Crystal Dimension [WATCH] - TV finds a weird box.

7x31 - I Am A Sword [WATCH] - FinnSword gets straight up hijacked.

7x32 - Bun Bun [WATCH] - Remember how Cinnamon Bun used to be... just, like, generally bad? at doing things? okay that but smaller.

7x33 - Normal Man [WATCH] - Normal Man needs some hero help to return Glob to Mars.

7x34 - Elemental [WATCH] - An... ice... princess? kinda??

7x35 - Five Short Tables [WATCH] - Fionna and Cake try to make some artsy-ass flapjacks.

7x36 - The Music Hole [WATCH] - Music happens, some of it on a stage.

7x37 - Daddy-Daughter Card Wars [WATCH] - Charlie helps her Papa work through some card-related stuff.

Ω 7x38/7x39 - Preboot/Reboot [WATCH] - Finn, Jake, and Susan visit a very scientific establishment.

SEASON EIGHT

8x01 - Two Swords [WATCH] - So when a FinnSword and a Grass Sword meet... sometimes some stuff can go the hell down.

8x02 - Do No Harm [WATCH] - Finn and Grass Finn try stuff out.

8x03 - Wheels [WATCH] - Jake tries to connect with his granddaughter by proving he’s cool.

8x04 - High Strangeness [WATCH] - Tree Trunks loves... revolution (｡•`_´•｡)

8x05 - Horse and Ball [WATCH] - James Baxter rides again.

8x06 - Jelly Beans Have Power [WATCH] - PB tries to get a handle on the elemental powers thing.

Ω 8x07 - Islands: The Invitation [WATCH] - Susan sent out a distress signal, and a response has arrived.

8x08 - Islands: Whipple the Happy Dragon [WATCH] - Hazardous seas, or Here There Be Dragons.

Ω 8x09 - Islands: Mysterious Island [WATCH] - Finn gets separated from his friends, but makes a new one.

Ω 8x10 - Islands: Imaginary Resources [WATCH] - BMO helps Finn and Jake get acquainted with the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of virtual reality gaming.

Ω♪ 8x11 - Islands: Hide and Seek [WATCH] - Memories of island life.

Ω 8x12 - Islands: Min & Marty [WATCH] - Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens get to know each other.

Ω 8x13 - Islands: Helpers [WATCH] - Finn meets his mom.

Ω 8x14 - Islands: The Light Cloud [WATCH] - The conflicting desires to protect your child while also allowing them to grow and thrive.

SEASON NINE

9x01 - Orb [WATCH] - Some very normal dreamscapes on the return journey to Ooo.

9x02 - Elements: Skyhooks [WATCH] - The boys make it home but things are looking... different.

9x03 - Elements: Bespoken For [WATCH] - The Ice King has a story to tell about a hot date he had, and also tangentially the current state of things.

9x04 - Elements: Winter Light [WATCH] - A visit to the Ice Kingdom.

9x05 - Elements: Cloudy [WATCH] - Finn needs to calm down, and Jake needs to potty.

9x06 - Elements: Slime Central [WATCH] - It's Slime Time baybee

9x07 - Elements: Happy Warrior [WATCH] - A normal one in the Flame Kingdom.

9x08 - Elements: Hero Heart [WATCH] - LSP tries to help Finn listen to his hero heart, while PB just wants everyone to be a little bit sweeter.

9x09 - Elements: Skyhooks II [WATCH] - Let's Get Lumpy.

9x10 - Abstract [WATCH] - Jake is wary of some changes in Jermaine.

9x11 - Ketchup [WATCH] - Marceline and BMO catch up on recent events.

9x12 - Fionna and Cake and Fionna [WATCH] - Ice King gets to hang with the REAL Fionna.

9x13 - Whispers [WATCH] - Finn and Fern help Sweet Pea with some nightmares.

9x14 - Three Buckets [WATCH] - Finn and Fern spend some uhhh quality time together

SEASON TEN

10x01 - The Wild Hunt [WATCH] - Huntress Wizard needs some assistance, and Finn has some junk to work through.

10x02 - Always BMO Closing [WATCH] - BMO and Ice King team up to become a door-to-door salesman.

10x03 - Son of Rap Bear [WATCH] - FP needs to work on her rap game.

10x04 - Bonnibel Bubblegum [WATCH] - Family junk is complicated.

10x05 - Seventeen [WATCH] - It’s Finn’s birthday! Let’s get Arthurian up in here.

10x06 - Ring of Fire [WATCH] - The marvelous misadventures of Tree Trunks.

10x07 - Marcy + Hunson [WATCH] - Marceline’s dad is in town and totally embarrassing her again.

10x08 - The First Investigation [WATCH] - Finn and Jake look into some haunted happenings at Joshua and Margaret Investigations

10x09 - Blenanas [WATCH] - Finn wants the highest possible authority to weigh in on whether or not he is funny.

10x10 - Jake the Starchild [WATCH] - Jake’s gotta save the world. No, a different one.

10x11 - Temple of Mars [WATCH] - Jermaine and Finn gotta rescue Jake, and in the process maybe help Betty work through some things.

10x12 - Gumbaldia [WATCH] - Peace talks.

♥Ω♫ 10x13 - Come Along With Me [WATCH] - Everything stays, but it still changes.

[weasleydream]

Their girl

Here it is!! I have to admit I’m proud of this one (that’s why I even made a teaser) and I really hope you will love it too!

Just for information, a part is based on HBP movie and I’ve used a citation from Dr. Seuss (Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.) 

I really hope you enjoyed as much as I did, and don’t hesitate to give me feedbacks and to comment, like or reblog!

Masterlist

(gif not mine)

Teaser

The trail was narrow, so narrow that the brambles growing on each side hurt my legs through the torn fabric of my jeans. I held my wand as tight as possible with my right hand while I constantly wiped my sweat from my forehead with my left one. My breath was jerky and my lungs were burning, along with my legs, but I couldn’t take the risk to stop now. I had to reach the cavern as soon as possible; I had to tell Sirius he was caught. The screams were getting louder and louder behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to see they were catching up with me. Suddenly, the somber entrance of the cavern appeared in front of me. 

Something was wrong. When I had left, the ivy was arranged so that it could hide the cavern, but now it was on the ground. Fearing that Sirius had already been found, I used my last strengths and ran in the cavern. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, but George was here. He was standing a few meters away from me, looking at me with the same look full of hatred than my pursuers. 

“You lied to me.”

His voice was hoarse, and I heard all the venom he probably wished he could have spit. His hands were clenched in fists and he took a few steps forward. I feared him. What if he hit me? The George I knew would have never done it, but the boy in front of me wasn’t really him. It was a copy, just a copy whose goal was to destroy me at all costs. 

Absorbed by George, I hadn’t realized the screams were louder than ever. I suddenly felt their presence behind me and I slowly turned around, deciding giving my back to George was less dangerous than ignoring what was behind. When I saw their bodies, I gasped loudly and my weak knees stopped supporting me. They were both dead, their faces covered in blood as it seemed like they had been severely beaten. Crimson drops fell regularly from a strand of Sirius’ hair. Remus’ scars were completely invisible underneath the bruises. My loud cry echoed in the stone and I clasped my hands on my mouth. 

The crowd in front of me opened, people stepping backward with a sort of silent respect emanating from them. He walked slowly toward me, his snake eyes fixed on mine and his smile more terrifying than anything else. 

“They are dead because of you, Y/N. You are the responsible of their death. They are dead because of you.”

Lord Voldemort took his wand and pointed it on me. In a last attempt to stay alive, I jumped on my feet even though I was too desperate to find a way to escape. It was useless, though, because George’s arms were maintaining me firmly in front of my death. 

“They are dead because of you, Y/N. They are dead because of you. Because of you. Because of you..”

I suddenly woke up, tangled in the sheets that were now soaked with my sweat. I sat and pushed furiously with my legs until the wet fabric fell on the floor and I threw my pillow against the wall, for good measure. I had felt my tears on it, and the salty drops were still rolling on my cheeks. I tried my best to calm my breath, but the terror that had taken over me was too strong. I abruptly got up and hit the nearest wall. Once, twice. I only stopped when my breath became less shaky and I felt the blood flooding from my knuckles. I decided I didn’t care and sat on the floor, the back resting against the wall, and like absolutely every night since I had to stay with Sirius, I thought about both my life and my nightmares. 

I was an orphan. I had spent all my childhood in a muggle orphanage, not understanding why strange things happened around me and not around the others. One day, I had received Professor Dumbledore’s visit and he had explained me everything. The magical world, Hogwarts, he had even given me some informations about the first wizarding war that had killed both my parents. A few weeks later, I had sat on a stool with the Sorting Hat on the head and ended in Gryffindor. During my first years, I had made a lot of friends, I had played Quidditch… I wasn’t in the team, but my two best friends, Fred and George Weasley, had taught me everything about their favourite sport and whenever they invited me to their house, we would play during hours. Everything had changed during my sixth year, when I had met Sirius Black, who had escaped Azkaban the previous year. It was the very first breakout, and he was known as a dangerous murderer. But one day, as I was walking alone in Hogsmeade, three older men had attacked me and dragged me behind an empty shop. I didn’t know what would have happened if a huge black dog hadn’t showed up at this moment. Saying I was surprised when I saw the dog turning into Sirius Black and when I had understood he had saved me would be an understatement. However, I hadn’t been afraid. Something in his eyes, the desperation he showed me was enough for me to trust everything he had said. The following weeks, I had brought him food and blankets to make sure he would survive, even if I was obviously not the only one. I had always been careful not to be seen, but one day, two kids had followed me and seen Sirius. We had both seen them, and we knew they would denounce me. From this day, I hid with Sirius and no one never had any new of me, except Remus Lupin who was the only one to know where we were along with Dumbledore. The only thing I truly regretted was my bond with the twins, and even a bit more with George, who I liked very very much.

From this day, the nightmares haunted my nights, and I always had one solution. I eventually decided to get my ass up and left my room in the 12, Grimmauld Place. I came downstairs, hoping I would find Sirius in the living-room. A fire was burning in the chimney, which obviously wasn’t for the temperature, because since the beginning of the summer, London was a burning hell. No, I knew the cracklings of the fire were something quite reassuring for Sirius when he was woken up by his own nightmares. I found him lying on the couch. His eyes were closed but there was no snore escaping from his mouth. 

“Sirius,” I whispered. “Please, groan if you’re awake.” 

Indeed, he groaned loudly and opened his eyes after an ostensible yawn intended to make me understand how he wanted to sleep.

“Come on, make me some room.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and sat, letting me enough space to sit next to him. 

“You want to talk about it?” He asked with a hoarse voice. 

I knew he was looking at me, probably as worried as each night. And like every night, I shook my head, he sighed, passed an arm around my shoulders and recalled a funny story of his Hogwarts years. And as usual, I thought of how lucky I was to be with him, and how he and Remus were the closest things to a family I had ever had.

Remus arrived soon in the next morning to announce us we would have some visit. It was quite unexpected: in fact, since the end of June, Sirius, Remus and I had been the only ones in this scary house. When I recognized Dumbledore’s half-moon spectacles, my mouth fell wide open. 

“I’m glad to see you too, miss Y/L/N.” He said with a smile. “I have to admit I would have been curious to see the results you would have obtained with your NEWTs but, what do you want, I guess it wasn’t meant for you.”

I shrugged, not really knowing what to answer. Even if I wasn’t an Hogwarts student anymore - and this thought always made my heart sting a bit - Albus Dumbledore was the kind of person who was intimidating, the kind you didn’t want to say stupid stuff in front of. 

“But I’m not here to embarrass you with school problems. According to the situation we are facing, I want to inform the three of you that from now, the Order of the Phoenix rises from the ashes.”

I knew perfectly well what the Order of the Phoenix was. Dumbledore himself had told me about it a few years ago, back in the orphanage, and Sirius and Remus had also told me plenty of stories about it. But that wasn’t really a shock; after all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was back and someone had to stop him. What shocked me was what Dumbledore told us after, with his piercing eyes fixed on me as if he knew how affected I would be. 

“The Order has already found new members. Before the end of the week, the Weasleys will install here and help with the meetings. Molly and Arthur want to participate, and they will bring five of their children.”

After that, I was too taken aback to listen to their discussion. I caught a glimpse of Remus’ eyes on me before I stormed out of the kitchen where we had been and joined my room. Although I desperately wanted it to be a joke, a voice in my head whispered viciously I would have to face the twins in less than a week. My best friends, my first crush, whose several letters had always been ignored because I couldn’t take the risk to answer them… In the last one I had received, they had written they thought maybe I was dead. Maybe someone had kidnapped me, and when they had looked for me, they were too late. It was painful to read that, to know how pained they had been whereas I was alive, just unable to give them any information. 

And they were going to live in this house for an entire summer.

“Bloody hell!” I shouted. 

The door opened and Remus’ head appeared. He had obviously understood what was going in my mind as he sat next to me and ruffled softly my hair. I had noticed it was his way to show me some affection, because he was way more timid than Sirius who never hesitated to hug me if he wanted to. 

“I know it will be difficult for you, Y/N, but it will be okay.” He said. 

Something in his voice was reassuring, it was a true gift he had. No wonder why he had been every Hogwarts student’s favourite professor, me included. Despite his terrible condition, this guy had the biggest heart I had even seen. 

“What if they hate me?” I whispered, looking up to him with teary eyes. “I haven’t shown any sign of life, they think I’m dead. What if they hate me for lying to them?”

“Technically, you didn’t lie, you just hid a part of the truth.” It was Sirius, whose shoulder was resting against the doorframe. 

“Thank you, Sirius.” I narrowed my eyes at him and he grinned. Without even looking, I knew Remus had rolled his eyes. 

“But Remus is right. Don’t worry, it will be okay. And if it isn’t, this house is big enough for you to avoid them.”

Sirius quickly dodged the pillow I had thrown to him and left with a laugh. Remus patted my shoulder and followed him, letting me alone with my thoughts. 

I thought I was prepared. Hell, I had learned a speech to explain my situation, and to apologize. I should have known I would froze as soon as I would see them. And Merlin, it didn’t miss. The first ones to enter the house were Molly and Arthur. I recognized their voices, unable to see them because I was hidden in the kitchen. They had been like my parents, they had welcomed me in their house, and all of sudden, I felt the urge to jump in Molly’s comforting embrace. I had to remind myself I wanted to see the twins first. They immediately followed their parents and my heart skipped a beat when I heard them for the first time in months. 

“I didn’t think I could visit a place dirtier than Filch’s office.”

I was pretty sure it was Fred. I couldn’t help but smile genuinely. George said something I couldn’t understand, and I heard Sirius describing them the way to the kitchen, asking them to grab something for him. Apparently, one of them wanted to use his wand - I suddenly remember they were now allowed to use magic outside school - but Sirius dissuaded them by showing the lovely portrait of his mother. A few seconds later, the door opened, and the twins stepped in the kitchen. 

The only noise was the one of the door closing as Fred and George looked at me with round eyes and wide open mouth. I stood in front of them with what was probably the dumbest look ever seen on my face but unable to remember a bloody word of my speech. The first one to react was George, and before I could even process the fact that he had blinked, he was engulfing me in a bone crushing hug. Fred soon followed and I found myself in the middle of a Weasley sandwich in no time. I had imagined plenty of scenarios for this moment, but me bawling my eyes out in their arms wasn’t really what I expected. If anything, I would have thought the contrary would happen. 

I would be unable to say how long we stayed like this, but no one interrupted us. I supposed Sirius and Remus had explained the situation to everyone by now, and they wanted us to sort things out. 

“Why?” That was Fred’s first words for me. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What the hell even happened?” continued George. “Y/N, we thought you were dead. Dead! You just disappeared, like this and... “

“And we’ve felt so fucking guilty!” exclaimed Fred. “We thought it was our fault, that we shouldn’t have let you alone and -”

“Stop.” I had murmured but they both shut up, obviously waiting for an explanation. 

And I gave it to them, without omitting any detail (except my crush on George), I told them everything from the day Sirius had saved me until the previous week when I had freaked out when learning they would come. I told them about my nightmares and how badly I had wanted to send them an owl, how guilty I had felt when I had read their last letter. They listened to me without saying anything, the same look in the eyes. I was unable to read them right now, their faces were closed and they weren’t even looking at me. When I finally finished, a heavy silent took place. 

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I felt something like anger boiling in my veins, even though I knew I shouldn’t be the angry one. 

“It’s a lot to process.” Fred said quietly.

“Y/N, I don’t think you understand…” If I didn’t know him better, I would have thought George was on the verge of crying. “We’ve hoped you were alive, somewhere… They have told us you were probably gone on your own, but we knew better than that. Then they have told us maybe you had been kidnapped, and you were probably dead. They… They wanted us to let go of you, to forget you, and we have.” I felt my heart stinging. “We have because it was too painful to think you had given up on us, and it was even worse to think you were dead. You can’t blame us for not knowing what to think. You just can’t.”

With that, he turned the heels and left, followed by Fred. None of them even looked at me, and if they had done so, they would have seen the most broken expression I had even shown. I knew it would be difficult but I had hoped they could understand they weren’t the only ones suffering in this. I had been forced to give up on my life, on the only place that had been home for me. I had lost my first real family. 

I decided to avoid everyone and hid in my room for the rest of the day. When the diner approached, my stomach started to rumble but I refused to go downstairs and risk to run into Fred and George. I wanted to see Molly and Arthur along with Ron and Ginny and the mysterious fifth sibling accompanying them. However, I feared the same reaction than the twins, and I didn’t think I could handle that. 

A soft knock on the door interrupted my thought. I ignored it, hoping that whoever was here would understand and leave me alone.

“Hey, groan if you’re awake.”

I chuckled despite myself and dragged my tired body to the door to let Sirius in. I immediately came back to my bed and dramatically threw myself on it. 

“I guess it didn’t happen like you wanted.”

I shook my head, my face still hidden in the pillow. I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“I understand it’s hard but it will be okay, Y/N. Remus and I have explained everything to Molly and Arthur. Molly told us she would talk to Fred and George but only if you bring your ass downstairs. I think she wants to know if we feed you correctly.” I laughed.

“We’re lucky she wasn’t with us in this cavern then.”

Sirius faked an horrified expression.

“Merlin, you’re right. She would have killed me and fed you with more mashed potatoes than a normal human being could ever eat.”

“Or killed you too for scaring her like that.” Remus passed his head through the door and smiled at me. “The dinner is ready, prepared by no one else than Molly. Come on Y/N, you can’t miss that.” He added when I shook my head. 

I gave up and followed Remus and Sirius downstairs. They went directly in the kitchen and I timidly followed them. The conversations suddenly stopped and a loud noise echoed. Molly had dropped the dish she was holding and rushed toward me, her arms wide open. Without thinking about it, I threw mine around her neck.

“Y/N, I’m so happy to see you! Oh, dear, you have no idea how worried we’ve been!” She lowered her voice and murmured in my ear: “Don’t worry for Fred and George. They are quite surprised, but they have missed you so much…”

I smiled weakly and Molly returned to her dish. I saw Arthur conversing with Remus, but the twins were nowhere to be seen. On the other hand, Bill’s presence was a pleasant surprise. I had always gotten along with all the Weasley family, even Percy who would always want to play chess with me, even if he always lost. I also saw Ron and Ginny, the latter sending be a broad smile before hugging me. I suddenly realized how much I had missed them and I felt my heart swelling with joy. It would have been a perfect dinner if the twins had been there. 

Later that night, another nightmare woke me up. I straightened in my bed, my shoulders shaking in the rhythm of my sobs. The look of hatred the Fred of my nightmare had thrown me was engraved in my memory, and the voice of his brother saying he hated me echoed in my ears. A shiver ran down my spine, and I caught myself fearing the dark around me. Suddenly unable to stay here, I rushed out of my room, not really bothering to be silent as I ran downstairs. I needed more than ever to see Sirius, to hear one of his stories or literally anything that would make me forget my nightmare. According to the crackling of the flames I heard, he was there. I found him sitting on the usual couch with a wooden box on the knees. His shaky hands were holding a letter. I stopped, fearing he wouldn’t accept my presence tonight, but Sirius looked up to me and a sad smile appeared on his face.

“Another nightmare?” 

I just nodded, a huge lump in my throat preventing me from saying anything. I sat next to him and waited patiently for him to tell me what he was reading.

“It’s one of the last letters Lily Potter has sent to me. This,” he said while handing me a photo, “is the photo she has sent with the letter. It’s Harry, it was his first birthday.” He pointed at baby Harry, whose forehead was still free from any scar. “And this is James.” Sirius stifled a sad laugh while looking at his friend’s legs. It was the only part of his body we could see, and I could tell he was running behind Harry. “I wish I could have been here…” murmured Sirius.

I didn’t know what to say. Quite fortunately for me, Sirius sighed and put the letter and the photo back in the box. He delicately carried the latter to the table and came back next to me.

During the following days, I spent a lot of time with Ginny and Ron. They told me everything that had happened in my absence, carefully omitting all twins-related subjects. I also talked a lot with Molly, mostly about futile things as cooking and Charlie’s work in Romania. Arthur and Bill weren’t here often. We also received Nymphadora Tonks’ visit a few times, along with Alastor Moody’s one. However, despite the several persons surveying the corridors of this house, I felt more alone than ever. 

My second proper conversation with Fred and George happened almost a week after the first one. I had done my best to avoid the cleaning of the house. When Sirius and I were alone here, the dust and the spiders weren’t a problem, but Molly wanted the place to be as livable as possible. I had pretended I was sick, which had earned me narrowed eyes from Remus, and I was now alone in my room. I was curled up on the threadbare seat in front of the window, looking at those who had the chance to be able to walk in the street. The door opened so slowly it didn’t make any noise. What warned me was the squeak of the floor and I turned vividly the head to see George closing the door.

“I heard you were sick.” His voice was quiet and it was the first time in a week he actually looked at me in the eyes. A little smile appeared on his face. “You don’t seem at death’s door, though.”

“I just didn’t feel like cleaning all day… I swear if I see one more dead rat I’m gonna explode.”

We both laugh, two shy laughters that filled my heart with something I had missed a lot: the bliss of being with one of my best friends. George walked toward me and raised an eyebrow, asking me silently if he was allowed to sit. In response, I made him some room. He sat in front of me, in the same position and his gaze drifted for awhile. 

“It’s kind of funny, when you think about it.” 

George looked at me, probably alarmed by my nostalgic tone. I hadn’t realized I had spoken, but when I caught his look, I continued.

“Everyone blames everyone for what happened but in the end… It’s no one’s fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fred and you blame me for disappearing, and probably Sirius for showing me who he was.” He didn’t deny. “You also blame yourselves because I was alone this day. I blame myself because I was the one deciding to help Sirius, and he blames himself for involving me in this. But in fact, none of us is really responsible, you know? We couldn’t know how this would turn out…”

“You’re right, we couldn’t.” It was Fred, who had obviously succeeded in avoiding his mother too. I hadn’t heard him arrive either. “And we don’t really blame you. You shouldn’t think that, Y/N.”

“Do you think one day you’ll stop hating me?”

I sounded so pathetic but it was maybe my worst fear. If they couldn’t forgive me…

“We don’t hate you, Y/N. We have never hated you.”

George had stood up and grabbed my hand. He pulled me toward him, tightening me against his chest. 

“We don’t hate you…” he repeated. 

At this very moment, my heart could have stopped beating and it wouldn’t have mattered. I was happier than I had ever been, knowing that my two best friends were here with me. And my laughters were more genuine than it had been in a long time when Fred exclaimed:

“You’re adorable, but I’m starving. I’m sure it’s time for a snack.”

From this point, what was going to be a living hell became the best summer I ever had. I spent my days cleaning with Fred, George, Ron, Ginny and when they arrived, Harry and Hermione and my nights talking with the twins. Sometimes, Molly caught us three still awake at unholy hours and sent me in my room, but it was quite rare. I was pretty sure most of the time, she let me with her sons on purpose. These nights, my nightmares were worse than usual.

Fred and George’s absence during the school year worsened considerably my state. By June, I was barely able to close my eyes more than three or four hours per night and I had to admit I was a pitiful sight to see. 

“Y/N, have you seen the bags under your eyes?” exclaimed Remus one evening in the middle of June. 

He and Sirius had called me in the living-room and were lecturing me. 

“You need to tell us what’s happening.” Whereas Remus was getting angry, which was very unusual and quite worrying, Sirius’ voice was softer and his eyes were fixing me. “You worry us Y/N. You don’t sleep enough anymore and… It seems to be worse.”

“We thought maybe you need some fresh air.” Added Remus. “We have asked Molly if you can stay at the Burrow a few days. Would you like it?”

“I don’t want to disturb.” I mumbled. 

“You won’t, don’t worry. Plus, she’s asked for weeks to see you.” said softly Sirius. 

No sooner said than done, I was immediately sent to pack my things in my room while Remus warned Molly I would arrive the next day. And it didn’t fail: a few hours later, I was desperately trying to escape her hug. Plus, I hadn’t eaten anything since the previous evening and a delicious smell was arriving in my nostrils from the kitchen. My stomach started to rumble and I was quite surprised I wasn’t drooling yet. Molly dragged me toward the table and put in front of me a plate with an unknown meat covered in sauce. It took the best of myself for me not to swallow everything in one bite. Molly was somewhere outside, she had warned me she was going to get some vegetables in the garden. The silence here was different from the one in Grimmauld Place. Back in there, it was heavy, charged with all the awful things said and done in this house when Sirius was younger. His constant melancholy seemed to impregnate the walls. But at the Burrow, the walls weren’t blank, they were covered in pictures and drawings. Everything in the house, from the chess board that was on the chimney to the blanket always laying on the couch during the coldest days of winter, everything here sent whoever stepped in this fabulous house a pleasant feeling of being home. Maybe Remus and Sirius weren’t wrong after all, maybe things would get better for me after staying here. 

The following day was the most normal one I had in years. I woke up in Bill’s old room, joined Molly in the kitchen for the breakfast - Arthur was already at work - and spent the morning helping her with different chores. The sun being high in the sky, we decided the garden could use a bit of weeding and after the lunch, Molly handed me a pair of gloves. Taking a well deserved break, two hours or so later, I sat on a bench. 

“Oh, I have forgotten to tell you!” Molly stopped in her tracks and turned toward me, smiling at me. “I’ve sent an owl to Fred and George. They are very busy with their shop but they’ll come to say hello, probably tomorrow.”

I grinned excitedly, already eager to see my best friends. I couldn’t visit them, still wanted for helping Sirius, and that was bothering me a much as them. I couldn’t help but notice Molly’s smile faltering when she mentioned the shop, and according to the look she was arbouring, I knew I was in for an entire discussion about it. 

“I can’t believe they left school!” Molly exploded, making me jump. I got up and approached her. “I mean I knew they thought it was a waste of time but what if their shop doesn’t work? What are they going to do?”

“Molly, they are smart. If they left, that’s because they are confident. From what I know, they already have a lot of fans, and even if it doesn’t work as expected - which I highly doubt, everything seems always fine with these two! - they’ll find something else. Don’t worry for them.”

My answer obviously wasn’t what Molly wanted to hear, but that was what I thought. I had seen a few inventions, had barely avoided testing some others, and I knew the boys were motivated. 

We gardened in silence another hour and when the heat became too much to bear, we retreated in the welcome freshness of the house. I let myself fall on a chair, completely exhausted.

“I would never have thought gardening was that physical!”

Molly laughed and replied something, but a loud noise from the chimney covered the sound of her voice. We both rushed in the living-room to see Remus barely standing on his feet. His face showed more tiredness than I had ever seen on him, more desperation too. The tears flooding from his eyes created shining trails on his cheeks. 

I froze, simply unable to make my brain work long enough to ask him what was happening. Unconsciously, I kept glancing at the chimney to see Sirius appear. 

Little did I know what Remus had to tell me.

“Remus, Remus tell me what’s happening!” 

Molly was fussing around him, checking some injuries I hadn’t even noticed. His eyes were fixed on his knees and mine on him, and the more time passed, the more the fear crept on me. Slowly, I was understanding what had happened but when Remus finally told it, his shaky voice so different from his usual calm one, it didn’t prevent my heart from almost stopping after a few painful beats.

“Sirius is dead.”

Honestly, I didn’t think three words could be that painful. No nightmare, no I hate you from anyone could hurt that much. I never thought one day, I would feel my heart slowly cracking before exploding under the weight of my loss. He’s gone. Dead. He’s not here anymore.

I felt like I was drowning, but in the same time, I became more aware of the two pairs of eyes on me. Molly’s mouth was opened in shock, her hand was stopped in the air, as if she had wanted to put it on my shoulder, and Remus was looking at me like he was trying his best not to break down. He had just lost his best friend, one of the only people who had ever understood him, and I knew how distraught he was, but the hole in my heart was filling with anger and I found myself clenching my fists to contain it. Remus choked out a few words, trying his best to explain what had happened. It took all my will to stay calm, but when I understood Sirius had left the house to fight a stupid battle, I lost it. 

“Why did he leave the house?”

My voice was quiet, muffled by the lump of pain in my throat. I was trembling as a wave of rage hit me.

“He should have never left! It was Dumbledore’s order! Why did he leave? WHY DID YOU LET HIM LEAVE?”

I was screaming non senses the loudest possible. Without realizing it, I found myself in the kitchen, enveloped in Molly’s embrace. But I wasn’t done, I needed to get whatever I was feeling out, I couldn’t let it suffocate me. I was still yelling, struggling to make Molly let go of me. She finally loosened her grip, but her eyes were still worried when she saw Remus entering in the kitchen. Understanding the silent message of his pleading eyes, she left in the living-room, letting us alone. 

“Y/N, please, let me -”

“Explain? Are you gonna tell me how he’s- how he’s dead, or are you gonna find an excuse on why he left this bloody house?”

Ignoring my provocation, Remus forced himself to adopt a calmer attitude and explained everything. The Ministry, the arch. A deafening silence took place as soon as he finished, a silence I couldn’t bring myself to break because I feared I would explode once more. But hell, I couldn’t clench my fists harder, blood was already straining my skin as my nails were deep on my flesh, and I was trembling more and more. Without any warning sign, I screamed and hit abruptly the table. I didn’t even see Remus flinching when I grabbed a bowl containing fruits and threw it toward him. I missed him and frantically looked for something else. My tears were blinding me and my throat sore from screaming that much, and the floor was littered with broken glasses and scattered food. 

From what I was able to see through the veil of tears covering my eyes, Remus was standing in front of me, trembling with all his being and not doing anything to stop me. He was accepting all my unfair accusations, all my hurtful words spat with venom. He didn’t say anything, obviously beating himself up with his guilt. Among my screams and my tears, I didn’t even notice Molly sneaking in the kitchen, followed by Fred and George. I only realized they were here when a pair of arms gripped me tightly and dragged me outside.

The air had considerably freshened, contrasting with the emotions boiling inside me. I found myself being hugged once more, and the feeling of two bodies pressed against mine finally got me out of the abyss. I just stayed here, my face hidden in George’s neck, sobbing and repeating I didn’t want him gone. 

“My parents and now… Am I not enough? Why does no one stay?”

Fred’s arms tightened around my waist and George tensed, and I sobbed with renewed vigour. I couldn’t tell how much time passed while I was wrapped in this comforting embrace, but when I finally lifted my head, I noticed Fred was gone. George was looking at me, an hand on my lower back and the other cupping my cheek. When another tear rolled down on my face, he gently wiped it with his thumb and pressed me against his chest. He didn’t say he was sorry, he didn’t say it would be okay, he just showed me he was with me. 

The sun was on the verge of going down when I considered the thought of getting inside. George’s arm was still around me, acting like a protective blanket against the cold air of the evening and the pain threatening to drown me. The sound of steps behind us made me jump, and I turned my head to see Fred watching us with a sad smile. He sat next to me and put his hand on my back. 

“The kitchen was a mess, I don’t think Peeves could have done better.” He laughed softly when I let out a watery chuckle. “Don’t worry though, Mum, R- and I have fixed it.”

“You don’t need to be careful of what you’re saying around me. I need you both to be… To be just you, or else I won’t been able to do it.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be as annoying as usual.” assured George with a smirk. 

“You’ll want to get rid of us in an hour.” added Fred.

“Never.” I murmured before being engulfed in another Weasley sandwich. 

What got me to bring my ass in the living-room was a loud sob echoing in the house. I knew who it was, and my unfair anger immediately vanished when I heard for the very first time Remus crying. I rushed in the room and jumped on him, throwing my arms around his neck and tightening him like my life depended on it. Remus was doing the same thing, and this hug was painful, both physically and mentally. We didn’t say anything, but we both knew what it meant. 

Now, it was just the both of us. 

I didn’t sleep this night, nor did I even close my eyes the following one. I had to hear everyone arguing around me about what they would do with me. Molly wanted me to stay at the Burrow, Remus refused and said he would take care of me while Fred and George thought I should live with them, their main point being that I had to see their shop.

“She could help us!” had proposed George.

Only at this moment did I realize I was now free to go wherever I wanted. And it seemed like the others had understood it as well because Molly came up with the idea of sending me back to Hogwarts. 

“No. I stay with Remus.”

I didn’t really recognize my voice. It was hoarse, my throat being sore from the hours I had spent crying the last two days. I felt plenty of worried eyes on me and suddenly felt oppressed. I turned the heels and escaped the overcrowded kitchen of the Burrow, preferring the silence in the garden. 

I immediately recognized the hand on my shoulder, and didn’t hesitate before resting my head on his shoulder.

“I promise I’ll come to your shop soon.” I murmured. “I just don’t feel like it right now.”

“I know, love.” answered George. “Don’t worry.”

My heart fluttered when I heard the nickname he had always given me, remembering me the pain wasn’t the only thing I was allowed to feel. I caught myself hoping he would kiss me for the first time in months before mentally scolding my stupid feelings. Sirius was dead and I thought of kissing George? What was wrong with me?

I had decided to stick with Remus without thinking about what it implied. I had to go back to Grimmauld Place. Remus had been reluctant to tell me, fearing I would freak out or throw him another bowl in the face, but also because he knew how painful it would be for the both of us. “I don’t want you to suffer more than you already are.” he had told me. I knew he wanted badly to find another solution, but Dumbledore had ordered him to stay there until he figured out what to do with the house. 

So here I was, unable to push this stupid door and enter this stupid house. Remus was patiently waiting behind me, but I suspected him to have a hard time too. Finally, the hand I had put on the handle five minutes ago pushed the door and I took a few steps in the dark hall. I thought I would break down and scream, the pain and the anger taking over me, but I certainly didn’t expect the numbness I was currently feeling. It was like I wasn’t controlling my own body as I climbed the stairs to reach my room, not really paying attention to what Remus had told me or to Kreacher looking down on me. 

The main reason I hadn’t slept since Sirius’ death was the fear. I knew what would come as soon as my eyes would close: the nightmares would be more terrifying than ever. 

“You can’t stay awake forever, Y/N.” had said George when I had confessed him my fear.

And I knew he was right, of course he was, but that didn’t prevent me from freaking out each time my eyelids closed against my will. However, in the middle of this night, as I was lulled by the crickets chirpings, I fell asleep. 

The cavern was empty. I was curled up in a corner, hidden in the shadows as people kept walking in front of the entrance without coming in. I couldn’t understand their whispers, but I was pretty sure they were talking about me. Some were hissing my name with venom while metallic noises echoed against the stone. Weapons. My breath was shaky, and my arms, which were wrapped around my knees, kept trembling. Suddenly, something happened outside. 

The people at the entrance seemed to panic as someone shouted among them. Rushed steps noises blurred the voices for a moment, and soon the shadow of a man appeared on the floor. His voice hadn’t this reassuring tone it used to have.

“Y/N, where are you? Come say hello… Y/N, I know you miss me. Why don’t you show yourself?”

Sirius’ voice was creepy. He seemed totally insane, yet I was so desperate to see him that I looked up. I was still hidden in the shadows and he couldn’t see me, but I could see perfectly well his knotted hair surrounding his gaunt face. He had a faint smile, but the most terrifying about him was the gleam of insanity in his eyes. I let out a gasp and Sirius pointed directly his wand on me. 

“Here you are, Y/N. Come say hello, come say hello to me…”

Without realizing it, I had jumped out of bed as soon as I had opened my eyes and slammed the door open. My bare feets made no noise on the dusty floor as I rushed in the living-room. 

“Sirius where are you?”

Only after my desperate call did I realize I was alone here. No cracklings from the fire, no bottle of wine on the table, no story to tell, no one to comfort me. Sirius was gone. Despite these last two days of mourning, it was the first time I completely understood what death meant, and the pain brought by this realization was too painful. I was barely aware of the screams escaping my mouth, of the tears covering my cheeks, of the blood on my knuckles as I hit the wall. I didn’t hear Remus arriving, didn’t feel his arms around me or processed the words he was saying to me. The only thing I knew was that Sirius was really gone, and he would never come back. 

I opened my eyes in a room I had never seen before. I gasped loudly and practically jumped off the bed. It took me a few seconds to recognize Remus, uncomfortably sleeping on a chair on a corner of the room. His face should have been relaxed, yet I still could see little wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead. While looking at him, I also remembered the previous night. The nightmare, the living-room, Sirius. Just thinking of him was incredibly painful and I let out a sob. Remus immediately woke up and was next to me in a split second. He engulfed me in a hug, pressing my shaking body against his chest. 

“You were screaming.” he murmured. “And crying. Just before passing out in exhaustion, you said you didn’t want to see this place… I thought I could bring you here. We’re at my house.”

“Thank you.” My voice was so muffled by his neck, where I had hidden my face, that I wasn’t even sure he could hear me. “But Dumbledore -”

“It doesn’t matter.” Remus interrupted me with a very soft voice. “You matter.”

“How did he die?”

My question seemed to shock him as I felt him tensing. He slowly pushed me away to look at me in the eyes, probably expecting to see tears. And he was totally right: my sight was blurry and my cheeks wet, but I needed to know how it had happened, or else I knew I wouldn’t find peace. Remus understood that and told me everything, from Harry’s connexion with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to the fight in front of the ark. When he finished, the silence seemed to last for hours before I eventually found something to say. 

“He was laughing… He was in the middle of a fight with Death Eaters and he was laughing…”

“Yeah, we know how he is…” answered Remus with a nostalgic tone. 

None of us bothered to correct what he had said. Maybe because deep down, we knew Sirius would always be there.

I was so drown in my own grief that I hadn’t really realized I wouldn’t be the only one suffering. There was Remus, of course, even though he was always hiding his feelings in front of me so that I could focus on mine, but there was also Harry.

Remus had told me a few members of the Order would accompany the Weasleys to welcome Harry and Ron back at King’s Cross. He had insisted that I should go with them, that it would be nice to get out of the house, which I hadn’t done once. When the day of their return arrived, Remus and I met Tonks, Mad-Eye, Molly, Arthur, Fred and George. The twins both hugged me but they didn’t say anything about Sirius, which I appreciated. I didn’t want to talk about it, about my pain and my sadness, but when I saw Harry appearing after walking through the barrier and the look he sent me, I realized I had to tell him something. Anything. Sirius had been his godfather, after all. 

Once Harry and Ron were done with the traditional welcoming, our group moved toward the Dursley family and I took this opportunity to grab Harry’s arm. He immediately stopped, letting everyone take a short advance before turning toward me.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered before scolding myself. 

He had probably heard that a thousand timed and that was certainly not what he needed to hear now. However, much to my surprise, he nodded and put an hand on my shoulder. 

“I’m sorry too… It’s my fault.” My heart ached when I heard the desperation in his voice.

“No.” He looked at me, obviously surprised to hear my harsh tone. “It’s not your fault Harry, it has never been.”

He choose to ignore what I had just said.

“You’re the only one who understands me.” He murmured. “They are all saying they are sorry, that he was someone good, but no one didn’t really know him, you know? We’re the only ones and I… I appreciate what you did, Y/N.”

He left without explaining what he meant and joined the Dursleys. After one last hug, Fred and George left too, saying they were busy and their family and Mad-Eye followed them. Tonks decided to stay with us a bit longer, and Remus invited her for the tea. I caught them exchanging a knowing glance, but I knew I would find out about what it was. Indeed, half an hour later all three of us were sitting in the living-room, drinking our tea in a comfortable silence. Remus suddenly stood up and patted my shoulder, announcing he had something to do, and left me alone with Tonks. She immediately moved next to me.

“I won’t say I’m sorry because I feel like that’s not what you want to hear.” She said. I nodded gratefully. “But I wanted to give you that.”

She handed me a photography she had taken a few months ago, when she had insisted she wanted to have photos of all the Order members. On this one, I was sitting between Remus and Sirius, the latter holding high a glass of wine and ruffling my hair. Remus looked like he was trying to disappear, but his smile was genuine as he was glancing on us. My arms were wrapped around their shoulders, and my grin was so large that anyone could feel their cheeks hurt just by looking at it. 

Seeing it reminded me of how happy I had been with them, and it made the unfairness of Sirius’ death more painful, if it was possible. But a little voice in my head whispered something I had heard a few years ago, back in the muggle orphanage. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. And that’s what I did: I forced my lips in a smile, first weak then genuine, and I felt a weight getting off my shoulders. 

“Thank you Tonks. Thank you.”

From this day, tears stopped being a daily thing. Slowly but surely, I learned how to keep my pain under control and, most importantly, I learned to open myself. Remus had always known when I was feeling down but, during the following months, it happened more and more often when he would ask me if I was okay and I would answer no instead of lying. The only thing I hadn’t really told him was this part of shadow hidden in me, the one still causing nightmares every night and remembering me Sirius was gone. I had made progresses on ignoring it, but sometimes, it was too strong for me and I broke down. That’s what happened on Christmas, six months after Sirius’ death. 

All this time, I had stayed with Remus, visiting occasionally Molly at the Burrow. I had only seen the twins once, their shop occupying them to the point that they didn’t have a free day. That’s why Molly had thought she could reunite us at Christmas, and she had invited Remus and I. 

It wasn’t the first time I stayed there for Christmas, and I had always loved the festive atmosphere that reigned in the house. This year wasn’t an exception, and laughters and good food filled our night. I was now sitting between Fred and George, telling Ginny funny stories about Hogwarts. I had taken off my jacket an hour ago and it was on the table in front of me, the corner of the photo Tonks had given me sticking out of the pocket. I always had it with me, it was the most precious thing I had. 

We were all so caught in the peaceful ambience that none of us heard the first alarming noise. Molly was the only one to hear the second as she suddenly froze in the middle of the living-room, her eyes fixed on the outside. Our conversations stopped and we all looked at Molly.

“Mum, what’s happening?” asked Ron while he approached the window. 

“Nothing.” She mumbled. “I thought I heard -”

All of sudden, Ron jumped backward to move away from the window, his skin strangely pale. Only a second later, we understood why. 

I had never heard a laughter as psychotic as this one. It was high pitched, and the insanity it revealed was simply terrifying. We were all shocked, as hypnotised by the woman outside. We only reacted when two more people apparated in the garden. Without saying anything, I saw Arthur and Remus jumping on their feet and rushing outside, followed by everyone else, me included. The freezing air hit me and the tears suddenly brought in my eyes prevented me from seeing the three Death Eaters. I quickly blinked them away only to see Harry rushing behind Bellatrix Lestrange - she had killed Sirius. The shadow in me, the one I was always trying to hide, took over me and I jumped after Harry. However, someone behind me had anticipated my actions as they firmly wrapped their arms around my waist. I screamed, trying to get rid of George and hitting his face in the process, and my anger increased when Remus followed Harry. 

“Let me go! GEORGE LET ME GO!”

But he didn’t. Instead, he pulled me against him and murmured in my ear Remus and Harry would be okay. 

“No you don’t understand, I need to -”

Suddenly, a wave of almost unbearable heat hit us all. The Burrow was burning. A sob died in Molly’s throat as she witnessed her home disappearing in front of her. My heart stung when I thought of all the memories everyone had here, Molly’s kitchen, Fred and George’s prototypes. I felt like another person was in my body when I thought that my jacket was still in there -

My jacket. With the photo inside. Maybe I was totally crazy, maybe the shadow I feared was real, in fact I didn’t know why I did this, but I suddenly escaped George’s embrace and ran in the burning house. I immediately felt the pain in my lungs as my mouth and my throat were dried with the heat. The smoke made my eyes sting with hot tears. A part of the kitchen ceiling was slowly consuming itself. I desperately reached for my jacket and as soon as it was clenched in my hands, I threw myself on the floor, hoping I could breath. The air was more breathable down there, and my sight stopped being blurred because of the tears. 

I could vaguely hear people calling for me, but the cracklings of the fire were way too loud for me to hear correctly or simply answer, as I didn’t trust my voice on this very moment. Instead, I closed my eyes, I curled up in a tight ball, and listened the sounds around me, remembering the nights spent with Sirius near the chimney. I fell asleep. 

After this day, Remus became more reluctant than ever when it came to letting me alone, even for five minutes. At first, he had been quite angry, every occasion being perfect for remembering me how reckless I had been and how he had thought he could trust me. I was too proud to tell him why I had done this, and to tell George and Fred too, but one day, Remus had thrown in my face Sirius would have been disappointed and I had lost it. 

I had literally exploded, my loud voice echoing in all the house as I tried to tell him how important this simple photo was. At some point, my angry monologue had given way to a sob festival, the only coherent sentence I had been able to form being “I know you’re disappointed too but I love you both too much… I couldn’t let it disappear.” or something like that. From this day, Remus had stopped being angry and became more protective than he had ever been. 

The twins had needed less time to forgive me, even though they just couldn’t understand why a photo seemed more important than my own life. They had been so afraid that the first thing George had told me when I had woken up at St-Mungo’s was that the next time I tried to disappear, he would tie me to a chair and keep me there for the rest of my life. Fred had added that I would never be alone anymore, them keeping an eye on me even when I would shower. Unfortunately for me, a nurse had arrived at this moment and I couldn’t hide my burning cheeks, no pun intended.

I had to admit this constant protectiveness was annoying, but it reached its peak a few months later when Remus received a letter from Dumbledore, asking him to come to Hogwarts as soon as possible, for he had to leave and wanted the school to be protected. Remus hurriedly grabbed his wand and turned toward me. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me right behind him, my wand firmly held in my hand. 

“What are you doing?” he asked me suspiciously.

“Coming with you. What do you think I’m doing?” I replied. I wouldn’t miss this perfect occasion to go back to Hogwarts.

“You’re staying here. It’s too dangerous.” Remus had used his autoritary father’s voice.

“No way. Where are the I’m not letting you alone and You stay right next to me? I come with you.”

Remus was obviously torn between the urgency of the situation and the fact he wanted to convince me to stay here. But he knew how stubborn I could be and he sighed. 

“You better stay safe, Y/N.”

The true happiness I had felt when I had seen the castle had disappeared for a long time as I was running near the Astronomy tower on Bill’s tail. Dumbledore wasn’t here, gone Merlin knew where, leaving three members of the Order, a few professors and a bunch of kids, me included, to protect the school against the Death Eaters. In the fire of the battle, I had been separated from Remus but Bill had made sure I was always next to him. 

We had just passed the tower and were ready to turn on the next corridor when we both stopped. A Death Eater was waiting right in front of us, an evil grin revealing sharp fangs. Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf. 

“Be careful Y/N, he’s dangerous!” shouted Bill.

An instant later, Greyback was literally jumping on us. Bill quickly dodged him while I threw myself on the floor. I immediately stood up only to see him savagely hitting Bill. The impact made the latter dropping his wand, and as I felt the danger arriving and lifted my wand, Greyback attacked. I was too late. Bill’s face was covered in a sea of blood and he fell unconscious. I screamed his name, barely aware that it wouldn’t help. Ensued a few attacks I barely countered, only managing to cast protective spells around Bill and I. He still didn’t move, and I was sure he was dead. This thought was what distracted me for a second, just a second, but it was a second too much. George’s face when he would see his brother dead because of me was the last thing I imagined before feeling my skin being torn apart.

I woke up in a room I had never seen before. This impression of being lost was familiar, and I turned my head, expecting to see Remus asleep on a chair next to the bed, probably waiting for me to wake up before scolding me, but he was nowhere to be seen. I put my head back on the pillow before it hit me. He’s dead. They are dead. Even with my eyelids closed, I still could see Bill lying lifeless on the floor, a pool of blood slowly growing around him. And Remus… If he wasn’t there, it had to mean that…

Suddenly, I heard a laughter coming from where I thought was downstairs. The confusion soon became relief as I thought If people are laughing, then everyone is okay. Remus is still alive, along with Bill, and I can see everyone. It’s okay. A true happiness invaded me as I quickly stood up. I wiggled my toes against the soft carpet when the feeling that something was not right hit me. I wasn’t in any kind of pain, yet I perfectly remembered feeling Greyback’s claws in my flesh, I remembered the sensation that my body was being torn apart. I hesitantly lifted my shirt - had I really put on this one the previous morning? - and saw my skin as good as new. No injury, nothing. The feeling of discomfort became more persistent and I heard new laughters. I decided to head downstairs. 

The room I was in was at the end of a corridor. The walls were naked, painted in a soft beige tone. The same white carpet gave it a cosy aspect. I made my way toward the wooden stairs, passing in front of a plant and a teddy bear thrown on the floor. Once downstairs, I caught a glimpse of the sun high in the blue sky behind a big window. Other toys were strewing the floor. I followed the sound of a man’s voice I didn’t recognized and entered in a little living-room. 

It’s impossible.

I was seeing him from the side and he was younger, but it was him. I had seen enough photos to recognize his curly hair and mischievous smile. Sirius was in front of me. 

He turned his head, maybe because he had felt my presence, and his smile froze. His face dropped and he slowly got up, still looking at me.

“Y/N…” 

His voice was still the same, hoarse and reassuring. Hearing it convinced me it was real enough for me and I ran straight in his arms. I hid my face in his neck and tightened him as much as I could, afraid to let him go and lose him once more. 

“Sirius… Sirius you’re here…”

I was unable to say something else but it didn’t really matter. Maybe it was a dream, I mean it was obviously a dream, it was impossible, but it felt so good to see him. After a while, Sirius gently pushed me and looked at me.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” 

I had never seen such a sadness in his eyes, except maybe that night when he had read Lily’s letter.

“Glad to see you too.” I mumbled.

His hand reached my hair and he ruffled it, remembering me of Remus’ habit. He smiled, but it was a bitter smile, and I had the impression he wanted me to understand something because he couldn’t tell me. 

“Of course I’m glad to see you Y/N. I’ve missed you so much… So much.” He repeated while grabbing my hands. “But you shouldn’t be here. You can’t be here. It would mean that you’re -”

“Dead.” I interrupted him with a blank voice. 

I was dead. Greyback had killed me. Now, Remus was alone. Well, he had Tonks, she really liked him and he really liked her, but still. Then I thought about George, about Fred, about Molly and I felt like crying. However, nothing came. No tears, nothing.

“Crying here is impossible.” murmured Sirius. “We’ve suffered enough in our lives, don’t you think?”

“But it hurts…” I whispered. 

“I know.”

And he engulfed me in another hug. I breathed his scent, trying my best not to succumb to the panic I felt invading me. Sirius’ hand was gently stroking my back and we stayed like this for a while before the presence of two other persons hit me. I lifted my head just enough for me to see above Sirius’ shoulder. 

“You… You look like Harry.” 

The man smiled. He was young, maybe four or five years older than me, but I understood why everyone said to Harry he looked like his father. James Potter seemed to be the man I had always imagined, the cool guy of the school, the Quidditch star, always up for some pranks in the school. 

“I know,” he replied. “Harry’s lucky, he took the good genes if you want my opinion.”

Lily Potter hit playfully his shoulder as Sirius chuckled. She was a beautiful woman, her fiery hair bringing out her eyes. She was as pretty as everyone said. 

“Sirius has talked about you a lot.” she said. “Said you’ve helped him whereas everyone thought he was a criminal. You’re brave, Y/N.”

I didn’t know what to say and choose to smile. The situation was just so surreal… I was talking with Lily and James Potter, next to Sirius who was dead a year ago, and I was dead too. 

“I think you’d like to sit.” offered kindly James. 

I nodded and sat next to Sirius on the comfortable couch, removing a fluffy pillow to make myself some room. 

“Where are we?”

My eyes were wandering around the living-room. It was almost as comfy as the Burrow’s. Thinking about this house I would never see again was particularly painful and I pushed the thought aside when Lily spoke up.

“You’re in our house. I guess you’re here because of Sirius.” Seeing my interrogative look, she continued. “When we died, James and I woke up here, probably because it was the happiest days of our lives…” Her voice was nostalgic, but she smiled. 

“I came here because the best period of my life was when James and Lily were still here.” said Sirius. “And you came here because I did.”

A silence took place as the three old friends were looking at me. Maybe they were expecting anger, or panic, or amazement, but all I could think about was how unfair all of this was. I didn’t want to die, Sirius, James and Lily shouldn’t have died, I shouldn’t be with them whereas Harry was so desperate to have his family around him. 

“Your son is a hero.” 

I saw James flexing his muscles and Lily flipping her hair above her shoulder, both exaggerating in their reactions, but I could tell they were really proud. 

“Yeah, and involved in Dumbledore’s personal stuff, this kid is really awesome.” said James.

“How do you know this?” I asked curiously. 

All of sudden, the atmosphere was no longer relaxed but tense as ever. James’ face dropped, Lily glared at him and Sirius was fixing his knees. 

“No way…” he mumbled. “You can’t… No. No way.”

“No way what?” I eyed him suspiciously. “What are you hiding from me?”

“You’re still stubborn as hell, aren’t you?” Sirius was annoyed but, from the look in his eyes, I knew I had won. “Listen, I’ll tell you but there’s no way you’ll do it. Got it?” I nodded. Sirius sent a harsh look to James before sighing. “You can go back and see your loved ones but -”

“I want to go.” I had jumped on my feet and grabbed Sirius’ hand to force him standing up. “Bring me to Hogwarts. I want to see Remus and George and -”

“I said no. You won’t go see them, not right now anyway.” Sirius’ voice was firm but he looked sad. 

“Why?” My voice was high-pitched as I was getting angry. “I want to see Remus! I need to tell him -”

“That’s the point! You can’t talk to them. In fact, they won’t even see you and trust me, it’s more painful than not seeing them at all.”

“You came…” I murmured. “You came to see Remus and I…”

“As soon as I woke up here. I was here when Remus told you. Molly’s kitchen hadn’t done anything to you, you know.” He added with a sad chuckle.

I stayed silent. I wanted to see Remus, to see the twins, to see Molly and Arthur but… Would I be able to just see them? To witness their pain as they wouldn’t know I’m next to them? How would it feel if I saw Remus losing it, like when he had told me Sirius was gone? 

“I want to go.” I said. 

Sirius sighed and extended an hand. 

“Then follow me.”

Just a split second later I found myself in front of the infirmary door. It was open and, from what I could see, only one bed was occupied. I rushed toward it only to see the damages on Bill’s face. He was totally unrecognizable, as if he was wearing grotesque Halloween mask like the muggles like. The blood had been cleaned, and each wound was perfectly visible. Madam Pomfrey was busy next to the bed, manipulating deftly three vials. She was mumbling to herself while pouring the potions in a big recipe, sometimes waving her wand and pronouncing a complex formula. 

“He’s okay.” said Sirius. 

I jumped, having completely forgotten his presence. I was more than relieved to know that Bill was alive, that he would be okay, even if a small voice in my head whispered it wouldn’t be completely true. He had been hurt by a werewolf, and he was the one who survived the battle. He would probably feel awfully guilty, and maybe even feel like a monster if he became a werewolf. 

Hurried steps echoed in the infirmary and I turned my eyes from Bill the very same moment Remus entered the room. Madam Pomfrey’s reaction was immediate. She almost dropped her vials, mumbling she never thought she would have to do this one day, and made her way to Remus. The latter was looking frantically in the room, and I knew he was looking for me. 

“Remus, I’m sorry.” said the nurse. 

If Sirius hadn’t grabbed my shoulder, I would have run to Remus. His face had dropped and his eyes were fixing blankly the hidden bed Madam Pomfrey had spotted. I looked powerlessly as Remus took hesitant steps, fearing whatever he would see. None of us was aware that the infirmary was slowly filling with friends of mine and members of the Order. As soon as Remus passed in front of us, Sirius followed him behind the curtain hiding the bed where my body was lying. However, I felt strangely disconnected, like unable to process the situation. I wanted nothing more than to hug Remus, tell him I would be okay because I wasn’t alone, I wanted to describe him James and Lily’s house and I wanted him to know we would wait for him all together…

My name had never sounded like a cry of agony before, and it was the most heartbreaking thing I had ever heard. Slowly, the shocked gasps escaping Remus’ mouth became screams more and more loud and painful. I took the last steps separating me from him. 

The first thing I saw was Remus’ back. He was leaned over my body - it was so strange to think this - gently stroking my cheek. Only my face was visible, the rest of my body being hidden by a thick blanket. My skin was white. 

“I’m sorry… Y/N I’m so sorry…” Remus voice came shaky. His hand was cupping my cheek and he lightly kissed my forehead. “It’s all my fault… I’ve lost you because I was an idiot… First Sirius then you… I love you Y/N… I love you like you were my own daughter… I’m sorry…”

He started crying and grabbed my shoulders to pull me against him. The blanket slipped in the process, showing my wounds. If Remus hadn’t seen it, Sirius had certainly and he was looking at my stomach. The bleeding had stopped for a while, but my shirt was still soaked in blood. The wound was extended from just above my brim to my ribs. The five traces of the claws were so deep that on a dozen of centimeters, the flesh was visible. No wonder why I died on the spot, I thought bitterly. 

I would have done anything in my power to be able to remove the blanket so that Remus wouldn’t see the wound, but I was obviously not powerful enough. When he put my body back in its initial position with an infinite delicacy, the blanket was still on my legs, and he saw everything. 

The most heart-wrenching cry I had ever heard echoed in the silent infirmary, and knowing I was the cause of his pain, he who was one of the two men I would always love like my fathers, millions of tears would have rolled on my cheeks if I could have cried. 

After what felt like hours, Sirius and I were still next to my body. None of us could stop looking at it, at this awful wound and at my blood. Someone had dragged Remus away, probably back at Bill’s bed to know if he would become a werewolf, but from what I could hear his voice was distant. I knew him, and I knew how he would deal with this: by making as if nothing had ever happened, as if he wasn’t suffering, and by throwing himself in the battle to come. Suddenly, I heard the noise of several persons arriving in the infirmary and my heart almost hurt when I recognized Molly’s terrified scream. I would have definitely broken down when I heard George asking where I was. An heavy silence took place during which someone probably showed the bed still hidden by the curtain and a few seconds later, George discovered my body, soon followed by Fred. I had always thought they were tough guys, and I would have thought losing me after all that had happened wouldn’t be as hard as the first time, but when I saw George falling on his knees, I understood I was wrong. Fred froze behind him, and their eyes were both fixed on my face. I was going to make my way toward them when I felt Sirius grabbing my wrist. 

“I think it’s time to go.” he murmured. 

I nodded weakly and threw one last glance to George. He had gotten up and was next to me, my hand firmly tightened in his own. For a second, I wished I could feel his warm touch, I wished I could hug him and Fred, but the hand I felt enveloping mine wasn’t George’s and in a blink of the eyes I was back at the Potter’s. 

James and Lily weren’t in the living-room anymore. The laughters I had heard here were long gone, the atmosphere being now tense as I fixed a glass on the table. 

“I shouldn’t have let you see this.” said Sirius. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to. I needed to see them… Even if it was more painful than I thought.”

Sirius nodded, probably having felt the same thing when he had died. 

“You’re back?”

James had passed his head through the opening of a door and his face immediately softened. 

“I’ll ask Lily to make some tea.”

The couple came back five minutes later, Lily holding a tray with four cups and some biscuits on it. I was shocked to realize I was no longer sad, even though Remus and the twins’ faces were still engraved in my mind. I remembered what Sirius had told me earlier: Crying here is impossible. We’ve suffered enough in our lives, don’t you think? As selfish as it sounded, I agreed with this. I wanted to live a peaceful life (if we could call whatever I was experiencing a life) and to feel only happiness. Lily interrupted my thought when she handed me a cup of tea and the plate with the biscuits. I took one of them, ate it and exclaimed:

“That’s delicious!”

She laughed at my surprised tone. 

“Why do you seem so surprised?”

“I didn’t think the afterlife was like living in a pretty house and drinking tea with who we want.” I said. 

“You know,” said Sirius, “even if sometimes it can get boring, being here is pretty cool. The only thing you miss is your family but one day, they’ll be with you.”

“Let’s hope it won’t be before many years…” I sighed. 

Slowly but surely, I understood what Sirius meant when he said it could get boring. Our days were always the same, drinking tea, watching the TV, sometimes walking outside, but there were no such things as places to work or school. Idleness was probably the goal of whoever had created this place. Some days, I was so bored that I wanted nothing more than to clean the house and storing Harry’s old toys. However, I had never done so as Sirius had told me Harry’s absence was more easy to bear for James and Lily this way. 

If it wasn’t for my several visits to the ones I loved, namely mainly Remus, George and Fred, I would totally lose the sense of time, and very probably my mind too. In a way, it was always as painful as it had been the first time. That was how I found out about what George had kept secret from me all these years. 

It was a few weeks after Bill’s wedding - which I had been to, of course. At the time, George had seemed a bit off to me and I was worried. I wanted to stay more with him, helplessly hoping that he would eventually see me, but Sirius didn’t agree. He was afraid I would become totally crazy. That’s why I had came to the apartment he shared with his brother as soon as Sirius had allowed me and after paying a visit to Remus. I arrived while Fred was comforting George, obviously really upset. 

“Listen mate, you need to tell me whatever you won’t let me know.” said Fred. “I’m worried for you Georgie, and Mum is too. Pretty much everyone is, in fact. Come on, what’s wrong?”

“You know perfectly what’s wrong.” mumbled George. 

Fred stayed silent and looked at his brother. He had probably never seen him as sad and it was really worrying. I took a few steps, wanting to be sure I could hear what would come. 

“You loved her.” whispered Fred. 

George lifted his head, his watery eyes fixed on the ceiling. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t bother to wipe it away. He didn’t bother to answer either, Fred already knew he was right. And I was there, looking at George who had just admitted he loved me, unable to think correctly. 

How many hours had I spent alone with him while Fred was gone for pranking someone with Lee? How many times one of us had fallen asleep with their head resting on the other’s lap? How many nights had I dreamt of what I had just heard? But it was too late. We weren’t brave enough to face our feelings, and now I was dead. George couldn’t see me and I couldn’t talk to him. We would be apart for dozens of years and there was nothing we could do about it. It was too late.

After that, several months defiled without me going back in the world of the livings. I didn’t really know if it was because of what I had heard about George or because of this weight in my stomach every time I had to look away from him, Fred, Remus or Molly. Maybe I wasn’t strong enough to face this. But I knew for a fact that Sirius went regularly down there to see Harry and Remus, and I still remembered the day he came back with the largest smile I had ever seen on his face.

“The last time you made this face was when we told you Lily was pregnant.” had said James with a small grin. I had admired his bond with Sirius since day one, and at the moment I could tell he was happy to see his friend like this. 

“That’s the point, my dear Prongs.”

Lily had furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Well, spill the beans Sirius.”

“Moony is gonna have a baby!” he had exclaimed. 

Sirius hadn’t even let us time to react before he had begun explaining everything he had heard. I was genuinely happy for Remus, knowing that he would never be alone. However, I didn’t feel like going back to the living world. In fact, the only thing that changed my mind was when Sirius arrived one day way sooner than usual announcing us the new. 

“The baby is arriving!”

In no time, Sirius, James, Lily and I were outside the room where Tonks was giving birth. It appeared that we had arrived when Teddy Lupin was almost here because roughly five minutes later, a baby cry echoed in the house. We followed the sound and found ourselves in front of the most emotional sight we could witness. Tonks was lying in her bed, obviously exhausted but amazed. Teddy was in Remus’ arms, and the father was looking at his son with an almost childish fascination. 

“He’s so tiny…” he whispered. 

Teddy was wrapped in a blanket as blue as his hair, and only his chubby little face was visible. Remus was holding him carefully yet tenderly against him. His eyes were filled with joyful tears and he was arbouring the most genuine smile I had ever seen on him. 

“I’m so proud of him.”

I turned to see James grinning and looking at his friend. His arm was wrapped around Lily’s waist and his other hand was on Sirius’ shoulder. 

“He’s gonna be okay.” added the latter. “Maybe we should let them some privacy.”

James and Lily nodded and disappeared a split second later. 

“Go, I follow you.” I said. 

As Sirius disappeared too, I made my way to Remus and put my hand on his shoulder. I saw him slightly tensing and I could have sworn he had felt my touch. 

“You’ll be an incredible father to him, Remus.” I murmured. “You’ve always been.”

All these months, we had been aware of the war preparing against Voldemort and not being able to help was really frustrating. We had decided, all four of us, that we wouldn’t try to have informations about it as we couldn’t do anything to help our friends. We didn’t know that the fight was more imminent than ever. We didn’t know that soon we wouldn’t be four anymore. 

It was the very beginning of May. As every friday, we had organized a movie night and James had been a true child, insisting he absolutely wanted to watch a movie with cars in it. After a quite ridiculous argument about it, I finally gave up my idea of horror movie. Lily came back a few minutes later with popcorn and we installed on the couch. We were a bit tight but I found a very comfortable position snuggled against Sirius with my head resting on his shoulder.  

The TV was playing an awfully sexist scene where a half-naked girl was washing the car of the main character - what kind of movie is it? I wondered while eyeing James - when a noise echoed from upstairs. Immediately, James and Sirius jumped on their feets and Lily grabbed my hand. I knew we all had thought the same thing - the war made another victim. According to what I could hear, two persons were upstairs. However, I didn’t perceived any hesitations in their steps and I was slowly coming to the conclusion that at least one of them knew the house when they appeared in the door frame.

“Remus!”

My mouth had been more rapid than my brain and in no time I had jumped in his arms. I felt him hugging me tightly, and his chest began to rise with a more steady pace. 

“Y/N… Y/N I thought I’d never see you again…”

Then he slowly pulled me to look at me and I met his eyes. 

“I missed you so much Remus…”

I saw the exact moment Remus realized we weren’t alone and who was here. His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. He had compulsively tightened his grip around my arms and he was now looking frantically alternately Lily, James and Sirius. He seemed to be unable to say something or even to move, and I gently pushed him toward his friends. It seemed to be all he needed and he rushed toward them, engulfing all three of them in a desperately needed hug. 

“I’m sorry for Teddy…”

I had turned toward Tonks who was looking at her husband with a bright smile. 

“I am too,” she answered. “But I know he’s in good hands and, as much as I would have wanted to live with him, I’m glad we’ve helped offering him a better world to live in.” I nodded, showing her I understood. “Wait a minute!” she exclaimed. “You know about Teddy?”

Remus froze. 

“How is it possible? How do you know about him?”

In a few words, Sirius explained how we could travel from this world to the livings’ one. He warned them too, telling them it was really hard to see your loved ones without them knowing it. However, just looking at Sirius indicated me he knew Remus wouldn’t care and would go back to his son as soon as possible. And he was right: five minutes later, Remus and Tonks had disappeared. 

After their departure, a short silence took place before being broken by James saying he wondered how Tonks had reacted when she had learnt about Remus’ furry little problem. Sirius answered her hair had standed on end and the two friends began an hilarious competition based on the jokes about hairs. I was laughing so hard that I didn’t hear the noises from upstairs, and only Lily’s interrogative face warned me. 

“Who are you?” she asked gently. 

I turned around and my wide opened mouth matched Fred’s one. I instinctively began to look for George because Fred without George was just impossible but… He was alone. I was so shocked that I just couldn’t react and this time, it was Fred who didn’t give a second thought and wrapped me in a strong embrace. He didn’t say anything and I didn’t either. I felt his reluctance to let go of me and I pulled him just enough to see his face. 

“He’ll be alone…” he murmured. 

I didn’t say anything. No word could have eased his pain, nothing I could say would make it all better or fairer. Instead, I decided to offer him the best goodbye I could give him, and grabbed his hand. A split second later, he was kneeled next to George, who was crying on his twin’s body, Fred’s hand suspended in the air, as if he was afraid to disturb his family. When he decided he couldn’t bear it anymore, he finally found the courage to put his hand on George’s shoulder. 

“Don’t cry,” he murmured, “and carry on. You have to carry on for me, Georgie.”

He got up, murmured I love you Mum in Molly’s ear, passed his hand in Ginny’s hair like he used to when they were younger and joined me. 

“Ready to support me? Can’t wait to discover the kind of pranks the afterlife offers!”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

“Move James, we’ll be late!”

“Wait a minute, I’m hungry!”

“Fuck Prongs, we’ll miss him! I don’t care, we’ll go without -”

“Calm down Moony, I’m here!”

The animation in the house was at its peak. It had been the only subject of conversation Remus had had the last few months, and he couldn’t help but show how proud he was. Tonks was running everywhere, trying to gather everyone for she wanted us all to be there. Lily was nowhere to be found, and Fred, Sirius and I were patiently waiting in the living-room. 

“Remus is going to explode!” I exclaimed when he crossed the room fuming against his bloody idiotic and blind friend and threatening to shove his antlers where the sun didn’t shine if he didn’t speed up. 

“I’d like to see him try!” laughed Sirius. 

“Sirius, it’s Teddy! This is so important!”

“Yeah I know but… He should know nothing happens like it should when Prongs is involved.”

Eventually, after a few threats who even scared me but only made James laugh, all our little blended family appeared on Platform 9 ¾. 

“Where is he?”

Tonks was tip toeing in an attempt to spot her son in the crowd. She was holding tight Remus’ hand and she seemed so excited it even was a bit painful to see. Suddenly her face lit up and she literally dragged Remus through the various groups of parents and students. Just behind them, James had his hand resting on Lily’s back as they walked quite happily too and I was following Sirius and Fred who were busy walking through every single person they could. 

We finally joined them and I glanced at Remus who was looking at his son with the same childish fascination he had always had.

“He’s a big boy now…” Remus’ voice was melancholic as Teddy was waving goodbye at Harry and Ginny. 

The boy eventually went in the Hogwarts Express, finding quickly an empty compartment. A hissing warned us the train would go and he waved more excitedly to Harry and Ginny, completely unaware of the fact that his parents were here too, waving and thanking the skies they could stay by his side, always. 

Living wasn’t easy. I lost my friends, I lost Sirius, I lost my life. I suffered, I cried, I hated and I loved more than I could have imagined. 

But when, many years later, another ginger boy woke up at the Potter’s, when he found his twin running after me, when he hugged us, when he kissed me, I knew. 

I knew that, despite the darkness, I had found happiness. 

Tags: @summer-writes​ @coffee-wihtout-caffeine​  

[toshis-puppycat]

Hello Again

Part Two

A/n: I think this is gonna be my go to gif for this fic (mainly bcs I can't art or create any form of art other than writing and even then I'll probably argue against it) but wow here's part two for Hello Again. I'm very excited to be posting all of this bcs I adore Toshinori, hes a sunflower in need of love. But this chapter doesn't explicitly go in line with him. Endeavor is the focus of today. I hope I got him at least a little, I've never actually written anything for him before. I didn’t explain it with the last part but the reader and Endeavor were good friends before she supposedly passed away. Uh kind of a RIP to him tbh. But I hope y'all enjoy.

Summary: Enji Todoroki recalls a lot of things over the years to get to where he is now. The memories of you are bitter, and it hurt. Whats going to happen now that your back though?

Pairing: Toshinori Yagi (All Might) x Reader, Enji Todoroki (Endeavor) x Reader

☆☆☆☆☆

Enji Todoroki was a simple man, one who wanted to be the best of anyone there ever was. To be the number one hero on his terms by his own merit. And he could do it. He had you on his side, his best friend. You two would take the hero world by storm when you both became official. And well, you would become partners too, opening up an agency together and get all the good sidekicks. All he had to do was ask at this point. Besides, you two had been in each others lives for years, from that accidental meeting as kids to now. You made the suggestion first anyways, he only scoffed at the time because you suggested it first. Bright eyed, all smiles screaming that you two would be the coolest duo to exist. You were the cool balm he needed for the harshness he was given by his parents (he'd never admit that though because admitting that would make him weak and he was not weak). You were strategic and fast, he could vaguely recall the first time you showed that. It was when his powers had just came in. He was four, and his hellflames were out of control. Luckily for him, you happened to be running around in that moment screaming in glee at the water you could manipulate, you saw him and quickly drenched him, cutting off any flame he could create for a while and exclaimed he had the coolest quirk. You decided in that split second you could see him screaming in panic at the fire around him, that you could use your quirk to help him and make sure nothing else caught of fire, which was not a major worry for him. But then he heard your kind voice say it was so cool because his quirk couldn't even hurt him, you saw that in all the chaos at four. Even in his mind something registered as not right. And as you two got older it became a bright red warning for him. When you were finally pushed out of that at 8, you were at an orphanage. He visited everyday despite any punishment that his parents could give him for not trying his hardest. You always told him they were being too harsh. But when they found out you were aiming to be a hero, they loved you after that. You were strong, and you were fast. Even if you couldn't beat him at this moment, you were impressive because no matter what you could wipe out any flame he could create. Or well they believed it was just water manipulation, you actually ended up having siren like qualities overall. You were just too embarrassed to admit it. When the two of you were accepted into U.A., well at that point you were unstoppable. Already in the stages of planning for your own agency, for when you could create it (and with his family's money he could do it soon he thought), he could guess that's also when everything went wrong. You were tired of sparing with him at this point, of course you always assured him that it wasn't actually him. It was because the two of you were used to each others moves, which he could understand. It was when you literally started walking over to Yagi that he got upset, his flames reaching a new terrifying height as you asked him to spar with you, all smiles and laughing as the boys face turned a bright shade of red. And when Yagi actually beat you, he almost burnt the student he was sparing with, furious beyond belief because how dare Yagi beat you. But then he heard you laugh and saw how your eyes started to sparkle with wonder and you quickly began asking him about his quirk as he blushed and stuttered answers out to you. You were fine of course, your quick also allowed quick healing something you always took advantage of. But after that you started dragging Yagi everywhere with you. Quickly exclaiming he was going to sit with the two of you and not allowing any input from him. He very quietly simmered in anger, he couldn't command tell you to stop hanging around Yagi. You'd definitely get upset with him. So he just settled for underhanded jabs at the other student and made sure he would spar with him instead of you. You pouted of course, but then you were all smiles and so proud of him for being willing to work with another student without any hassle. He almost burned Yagi after that. God how obvious did he have to be!

☆☆☆☆☆

Apparently the answer was to be incredibly blunt, he figured that out by their second year. He tried his best to flirt with you subtly, even Yagi picked up that he was doing it! So why didn't you? He got his answer when he overheard some "girl talk" when they asked you about him, like "what is it like being associated with the hottest guy in our year?" When he heard your shy reply of "He's my best friend and don't sexualize him" it kinda hit him that you really were oblivious to the world of crushes and maybe a little romance. He tried being more obvious that he was interested in you as more than the regular partnership you two previously thought of, still it was taking a while. In your third year it would be the perfect time to reveal everything to you! But then you came into school walking hand in hand with Yagi. And his whole world crashed, he almost actively tried killing him when they spared that day. Only stopping when you doused him in water, then furiously walking away, only vaguely hearing you ask him if everything was okay. Yagi took everything away. He took away the top spot at the school, he took away all the good sponsorships and now… he just took you. When you ended up pulling him aside later, Enji couldn't be upset with you. Because when you looked up at him with tears in your eyes while clutching at his uniform, he couldn't be anywhere near upset with you. Not when you looked happy and he was the one to change it. So he reluctantly pushed away any negative feeling he had about you being with Yagi and apologized for worrying you so much. 

"Family had just been too stressful this summer y/n. I'm sorry I worried you." He still hated Yagi though, and when he heard Yagi would be leaving for America of all places, as far away from you as possible since he knew you were staying in Japan. That hatred festered, he decided to date you just so he could leave? That soon after you already told him you saw a future with Yagi? And he knew that you felt like that? He started burning down his room, fortunately his parents invested in some strong fire systems to take care of any outburst he ever had (and to make sure he didn't embarrass them through any weak actions he made). He hated this, he hated Yagi. But seeing you smile, he couldn't hate that. You invited him, when Yagi was leaving. He wanted to be furious, he wanted to know why. Why weren't you upset, but then he saw it. That tiny glimpse of what you were actually feeling in the moment, a part you would hide most of the time.

"I want him happy, Enji. I can wait a little longer if it gets us both to the point where we want to be in our lives." You said, you were smiling, but he could see it. You didn't want Yagi to go anywhere, but you'd never hold him back. You were like that. You weren't selfish, you weren't rude. You were just kind, always putting others before yourself. He didn't see Yagi off, but he knew the moment he left you were going to need your best friend. He could do that.

☆☆☆☆☆

He decided to focus on marrying someone, a quirk marriage. Someone with a powerful quirk to match his and they could have incredibly powerful children. You weren't going to do marry him. That as a harsh fact he had to see. You had a powerful quirk and he actually liked you, but you were unavailable for a number of reasons. So he decided on Yukikae Rei, she had a powerful enough ice quirk. One that if combined with his hellflame, would create some powerful offspring. When you found out when he was married you were furious, (not for what he thought selfishly for a split second) he never mentioned that he was even seeing someone in the first place, and he went an absolute hush hush path, like he was ashamed about marrying her (he wasn't but if you ever found out he married Rei for her quirk you'd kill him, if the public found out there would go any chance he had at becoming number one and that was something he need to be more than anything to not be a failure). He assured you that he just really (not really) wanted to marry Rei. You had hesitantly accepted what he said. He still never told you. 

☆☆☆☆☆

You were both young, very talented heros. Rei wondered who you were, he knew. He could practically feel her questioning curious stares whenever they were in the same room, but she never asked him. She wished she did, that she met the woman who had her 'husband's' heart. He told her the moment he was able to that he'd most likely never love her because of someone else but he would treat her appropriately. She really wish she asked before she read the newspaper the day after your death. 

Young Pro-Hero Siren dies at age 22

Pro-hero Siren, dies at age 22 today on xx, xxxx she was thrown from a building by a building after switching places with a student of Aldera Junior High who was in the custody of a villain. The villain in question has been taken into custody. 

"She saved me and I never got to thank her."- Teen says

"She was a brave hero. A wonderful sidekick. We'll never forget her. "- Pro-hero Crimson Riot says.

"We lost a great hero in the making today. A true tragedy."- says bystander at the scene

Endeavor beat her for the first time that night.

As the years went by, life got worse. She had her children, then he would train them and when they inevitably failed him he would shove them back into her arms. Snarling that they had to try again. Three children were classified as failures to him. She hoped he'd give up. This was killing her. The pressure was too much. Then she had Shoto, and he ended up getting her ice quirk and Endeavors flames. She wished you married Endeavor instead, but you were dead. And she wasn't sure she could even blame you for what was happening now. It didn't seem very fair. When she had her breakdown, it solidified something within her. She despised her husband, and the only good things he'd ever given her were her children, children she'd never see outside of a hospital. 

☆☆☆☆☆

Endeavor was furious, the years went by after you passed away but his anger never left. And when "All Might" came into the picture again it was like another slap in the face. He didn't do anything against him, but he was still furious. He should've just stayed in America. He wished he could feel something other than pity when he found out he was told about your death, but he could understand the mourning he was going through. He kept away from All Might after that, and focused on training his son. One showed much promise, his flames were powerful, along with the fact he shared his wife's ice quirk. He would mold him into what he wanted to become the new number one hero. To best All Might. Whatever the cost.

☆☆☆☆☆

His son was finally going to U.A. He wished you could see it. He wouldn't let you see anything he's done but you would've been involved with his children's lives, perhaps as their godmother. They go through so much, fighting against the League of Villains and later on during the internship the Hero Killer. He was furious for being forced to take the credit for the latter of the two, and then his son had to leave for that summer training camp. Then a student and a Pro-hero were kidnapped from said summer training camp. Then they finally saved the brat and an A class villain showed up and revealed All Mights "true form." He screamed at him "Stand up and show them why you're better!" Then All for One asked All Might if he remembered the pretty girl that he was seeing, and he should have made her suffer more and he knew. He knew that Villain was talking about you. You died because of your connection to All Might. You were killed for it. All he could think in that moment was All Might better kill this villain, he better be able to capture him. He better avenge your death.

☆☆☆☆☆

He became the number one hero after that. An insulting, demeaning promotion for him. Then Shoto was moved into the newly made dorms afterwards so he couldn't continue his rigorous training, it didn't even matter now though he was number one now. His daughter was, hovering. Checking in on him constantly. Like she knew it wasn't just him being upset with the fact of how he became number one. He never told them about you, and now it was too late to explain it and he didn’t think he’d ever be able to talk about you. Then he got a call from U.A. and he had to deal with his rebellious son. 

☆☆☆☆☆

It was… annoying. Being at U.A so soon again. The rodent called all parents though. For some reason, that escaped him. But it was infuriating. Like he was calling him to rub in something, the sadistic bastard. He could vaguely hear him talking, thanking all of them for being there and he scoffed. 'You better be grateful.' Was his only thought. But then he said something that finally caught his attention after droning on about the new security measures that they already explained to them. 

"We are attempting to allow a new staff member into U.A, however it was decided that this new staff member be introduced to the parents of our beloved students. So that you may include your own opinions on this matter." Nezu said. 

He narrowed his eyes. 'What game was he playing?' Was the only question in his mind. 

"Miss. Y/l/n please come out and introduce yourself."

'What?' 

Then you walked out from behind the curtains, ones he didn't even notice when he came in. He could hear the other parents murmuring. 

"Principle, while my husband and I agree it's… nice to be meeting this faculty member personally, why are we being introduced to her though?" He heard another parent ask, who was it? That child's parents. The one who beat his Shoto at the festival. What was his name? Bakugou Katsuki? He was attempting to brush this off, it couldn't be you. It couldn't. You died, you died over 20 years ago. There was no way it could be you. But then you said something.

"We felt that its best that the parents be informed-" you began, but it was drowned out because it hit him. It… it was really you. Then his hellflames suddenly burst out of control and he felt water drenching him. As quickly his flames appeared, you put them out and left him sputtering in shock. He barely heard your shocked gasp and yell of his name. You were alive, and you looked exactly as he last saw you. What happened? Was his first thought, but seeing your wide grin the only other thought he was was 'Hello again. I've missed you.''

☆☆☆☆☆

Taglist: @saratour, @yukiimanic, @theygottheircages, @itsallmightbitch, @toobsessedsstuff, @quirkyfandoms, @anxious-cat-with-cheesesticks​, @traqicalromance​

[chappedandfadedvds]

Oct 25th, Sunday 14:07

There was a loud thud on the other side of the door, that let Jens flinch and step a bit back from it. It was soon followed by a burst of giggling though and to his surprise it was Yasmina who opened the door with a slight reddish tint to her cheeks. He most definetly hadn’t expected her to be here. Anyone really, but her.

„Sorry I kinda hit my knee on the cabinet and knocked over a vew things. Come in.“

Jens nodded confused but chuckled nonetheless seeing the little mess on the floor. He followed her in and was met with a strong scent of cinnamon reaching him from the kitchen. Yasmina simply started to pick up the items and placing them back, while he took off his jacket, feeling too warm as soon as he had stepped inside. Jens was a bit lost however on where to put his jacket, as it appeared at least two dozen others already occupied the hangers on the wall. He threw it over the one orange coat, he was sure was Robbe’s, and found Yasmina had walked back into the kitchen. Only her head peaked around the corner again to gesture him he should join her too.

Even though he was here to see Robbe, at least he could say hello, Jens figured. And contrary to his believe, when his best friend had asked him to come over to chill, the kitchen was packed. And more voices spilled out from the living room next to them. He had more or less expected the apartment to be empty.

„Hi!“ Milan declared cheerfuly, checking up on something in the oven, that certainly caused what filled the kitchen in a sweet vanilla-cinnamon cloud. Impressed he looked at Milan, hoping to be able to get a taste of it. Just behind him at the table sat Aaron and now Yasmina.

„Amber and me came over to visit, and Yasmina slept over, because of... Actually I don’t remember, but yeah, Amber is in the living room with Zoë, Senne and Robbe.“ Aaron explained, while fist bumping Jens, before going back to type something on his phone. That was the moment Milan seemed to be done for now with the content of the oven and threw an arm over Jens’s shoulders, settling close next to his side. He shook his head smiling, placing his own arm on the lower back of the older boy.

„This is the third weekend in a row of everyone gathering in this apartment, we may have to move to a bigger place, because this is getting out of hand.“ Milan complained, both of them leaving the kitchen, to go over to the living room, not before he let Milan check the time in a book on the counter, to know when to take out whatever he put in. He continued chatting, letting Jens relax a bit, as he did not had to decide what to say or to do for the moment. Something Jens actually noticed he appreciated greatly. The last months it seemed like he had more and more responsibilities at home and was contemplating what to do every single day. He remembered that Milan was still talking to him and quickly began to go back to actually listen to what was being said. 

„... Lisa mentioned to come back next summer. I mean Senne moved in with Zoë last year, and now it seems like Sander did too with Robbe. I think, since the end of the lockdown, he may visit his parents once a week to return with even more art supplies to set up all over the place. He claimed a part of the bookshelf just last week. He washes most of his clothes here too. We may as well add him on the payroll for rent.“ Milan went on complaining as they reached the living room, finding the others chatting around the livingroom table. It was full of sweets and fruits and cups of tea. Jens immidiately loved having decided to take up Robbe’s invitation.

„Hey, Jens!“ Senne greeted happily.

„You made it!“ Amber smiled at him warmly.

„You lucky asshole, being late an hour and we just filled up the pot again, so you actually get fresh and hot tea.“ That was Robbe patting the spot next to him on the floor, while Amber, Zoë and Senne had cuddled up on the sofa under a blanket. Zoë mainly sitting on top of Senne’s lap, her head buried in the curve of his neck. How they didn’t die a heat death, was a mystery to Jens. It was at least 30 degrees in here it felt like. Taking off his sweater, earning him some loud whoo’s from the others, he settled next to Robbe, nudging him in the process.

„I thought we were alone.“ Jens tried to accuse Robbe, feighing disappointment, but followed almost immidiately with a smirk, as Robbe had lost his smile for a second. The younger one definitely worries too much. As if Jens could ever really get super mad at him.

„Ah fuck you, Jens.“ He turned his head towards said boy, a hand placed on Jen’s thigh before he continued: „Though we probably could have arranged that, if you wanted me all to yourself. I mean, we could just kick them all out.“

Robbe definitely had found his confidence since being with Sander and grew more comfortable being himself every day. Jens really liked watching that development happen in front of him.

There was a suggestive wiggle of Robbe’s brows that made Jens laugh and push Robbe’s face away from him.

„Where is Sander than? I thought you become joined at the hips if you leave school properties.“ 

Jens sort of regretted having said that, as Robbe’s bubbly, happy expression faltered. He caught himself quick, not fast enough though for Jens to ignore. It worried him that something had happend.

Robbe seemed to notice that and quickly shook his head to calm Jens.

„Nothing bad, Sander just hadn’t caught any sleep over the last couple nights, so he is basically knocked out since this morning. Maybe depression, but I’m not sure yet, hadn’t had a chance to talk to him. That’s actually why I asked you to come over. I didnt know that it was getting that crowded today.“ Robbe explained, leaning his head on Jens’s shoulder as he fished for some cookies on the table in front of them.

Giving him a bit of best friend support, Jens moved his arm over behind them, lifting his hand to stroke lightly up and down Robbe’s back. He felt Robbe relax next to him, apparently he had been a bit tense before. Though the boy never voiced it, Jens knew that it was hard for him to watch Sander like this sometimes. He believed that Robbe might be reminded of his mother in these moments. He kissed the mop of hair on his right shoulder, earning him a smile in return.

Milan in the meantime had poured Jens a fresh cup of tea and sat down on the armchair to their left.

„Yasmina, Zoë and me had planned to drive to an exhibition opening about the history of medicine, that was scheduled for today in Brussels, but as they had two positive Corona cases yesterday it was cancelled. Fortunately for us just as we had gotten into the car. Hence this big party here.“ Senne threw up one hand with a grin, waving about in a circular motion to indicate their gathering, as if Jens couldn’t put two and two together.

They all chatted away, being joined by Yasmina and Aaron, who somehow still managed to squeeze next to Amber on the already crowded sofa. They talked about the party from friday and the spanish exchange student Jens had flirted with. She was cute, long dark brown hair, green eyes, petit body. Her name was Camila and simply because they had talked a while, danced and kissed in the end, he now was somehow expceted by everyone else to take her out on a date. Which he declined politely, telling them to screw themselvees.

They talked about Sander’s upcoming school exhibition in two weeks, that they all planned to attend and would make sure to embarrass the shit out of him. 

Last but not least the topic fell on the mysterious new student they’d meet tomorrow and a couple of non-serious consipiracy theories started to emerge, one odder than the one before. Nothing was off limits. Not even Aaron throwing the Dutch royal family into the mix.

Just right after Aaron’s suggestion Lucas van der Heijden could be the illegitimate son of a prince of some sort, Milan jumped up screaming about the danish thing he forgot about. He stormed off, almost tripping over his own feet on his way over to the kitchen in a panic, while laughs and cheers from everyone else filled the apartment, rooting for Milan to make it in time. Luckily it wasn’t burned and thus ended up being eaten in a haste, only one piece surviving by Robbe guarding it with his live. Sander would apparently kill him, if Robbe wouldn’t bring him some of Milan’s great baked goods. 

To his defence, they were incredibly delicious. 

[poguegarbage]

Sober

Summary: A yearly summer fling for JJ ends faster than expected when you have a realization in the middle of the party of the summer. 

Pairing: Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank

Warnings: Drinking/Alcohol, Drug Use, Mentions of Sex (nothing graphic...just implied!), Aggression/Physical Fighting as well as Verbal Fighting, Cheating

Word Count: 2,682

A/N: I put my writing playlist on shuffle and this song by Selena Gomez came on and I immediately got this idea...

Enjoy!

You don't know how to love me when you're sober. When the bottle's done you pull me closer. And you're saying all the things that you're supposed to... But you don't know how to love me when you're sober. 

There was nothing quite like summer in the Outer Banks. It was the definition of freedom and carefree living which was one of the main reasons you looked forward to your yearly trip to the island every summer...

Which also meant your yearly fling with JJ Maybank would start back up again and more than likely tragically end for another year. 

You were a Kook, simple as that. Your family owned a lavish beach house on Figure 8 and it had everything to make others jealous. The three story mansion with it’s own private dock overlooked the water and the in-ground swimming pool was to die for. Not to mention that it was heated. You could remember coming to visit the island for the summer every year since you were probably 6 or 7. Despite your living situation though, you never really fit in with the other kids from the neighborhood. While they wanted to stay in their fenced in homes and swim in their pools, you were out on your bicycle or riding some waves on the beach. 

Your parents protested your actions but you knew it was for the best...

Which is exactly how you fell into place with the Pogues. 

You could remember the day almost as if it was yesterday. You were on a bicycle ride around the island and you found yourself at the Cut. enjoying the new scenery. You were probably 13, if you could remember correctly. One second you were happily riding down the street and the next you were taking a turn too fast and colliding with another person on a bicycle. 

“Watch where you’re turning that thing, will you?!” The voice from the other rider filled your ears as you laid on the gravel, picking your bike up as you stood and brushing the gravel from your skin. 

“I could say the same to you,” was the only response you could think of as you looked up at the other individual standing in front of you. He was standing his bicycle up as well, adjusting the snapback hat on his head. His blonde hair was sticking out from underneath the hat and as he turned to look at you, your eyes met his. He quickly looked back down at the bicycle he was holding up as if he was trying to hide something in his eyes...which he was. He was rough and tumble, that much you could tell from the way he carried himself and the way he dressed. You were also on the Cut side of the island and he looked nothing like Figure 8 material.

Thirteen year old you didn’t know what love at first sight was...but you were pretty sure this was it. 

“You’re one of the (Y/L/N)’s, aren’t you?” The boy asked, still avoiding your eyes at all costs. 

You felt your shoulders fall a little. Of course. He knew about your family so you might as well kiss this opportunity goodbye. 

“Oh, uhm...yeah...,” You managed to mumble out, still watching the boy in front of you. Silence fell between the two of you and you realized you should probably be going before the interaction grew any more awkward than it was. 

“Well, I’m JJ...JJ Maybank,” The boy finally introduced himself and you felt a smile creep across your face. JJ. JJ and (Y/N). That had a nice ring to it. 

“I’m (Y/N)...and you already know my last name apparently,” You joked and stretched your hand out to shake his. He laughed with you and gladly accepted the handshake. 

“A few friends and I are going surfing just a few miles down at the beach...If you want to join...” He mumbled, looking down at his feet before looking back up at you. 

“I would love to,” You smiled back at him brightly. “But I have to warn you, I’ll probably kick your ass at surfing.” 

And just like that, a romance was blooming in the Outer Banks. Every year for the last 5 years. 

It was the same routine and neither of you were particularly fans of it. You would stay in touch via texting over the winter months, FaceTime video calls also made this distance between the two of you better...but it was never the same as being side by side or in each other’s arms. 

The two of you would be lying if you said you didn’t see other people in your time apart. JJ would get his fill of tourists to the island when you weren’t there and you actually had a steady boyfriend back home in Michigan where your family lived in the winter months when you turned 15. It wasn’t fair to him but, JJ was your fun summer fling...the little secret between the two of you...and he had been for years now...

Until the summer before your 18th birthday.

The Pogues were notorious for throwing the best beach parties but you wanted to treat your friends to a good, old fashioned Kook party. The party would be complete with the pool, party lights and the most expensive varieties of alcohol you could get your hands on...and by your hands, you meant JJ’s hands. You gave him the money earlier that day because you knew he had connections and could get just about anything your heart desired for the party. It was held at your family’s home when your parents decided to go to the mainland to visit with some family for a weekend. You had the house to yourself and decided to throw the party of the summer. 

JJ came over early to help you set up and deliver the alcohol he had purchased. He was never one to be touchy with you. That just wasn’t how this thing worked between the two of you. So much so that The Pogues actually didn’t even know this summer love was a thing that happened every year. 

The only time you could recall JJ being touchy with you the last two years was when he was either drunk or high. It was like he didn’t care who knew that you were his...even if it would only last a few months. He would proclaim to anyone and everyone that you were his and no one else could have you which would end in you giggling and shushing him until the two of you were a laughing mess in each other’s arms. The drunken nights usually ended with the two of you, in your room, under a tangle of sheets until the early hours of the morning when he would sober up and leave before someone found him in the house. You usually woke up to the empty spot in the bed with a sigh and the day would go on as if nothing happened the night before. 

This night was no different than the last few summers. Everyone at the party was either drunk on the booze or high on the weed that was circulating through the crowd. The majority of the party group were Kooks but John B., Kiara, Pope and JJ had joined the fun just for you and for that you were thankful. You weren’t sure you would make it through the party without them. After about an hour or two of making sure your guests were all happy, you were buzzed from the strong drink that had been poured into the cup in your hand. You didn’t really know what it was and you didn’t care because it was getting the job done. 

You snaked through the crowd and the music was so loud that you could feel it vibrating off stone of your patio behind the house. The pool was filled with people without a care in the world and you found your friends, The Pogues, sitting on the outdoor couches near the grilling area. JJ was the first to greet you and you could smell the expensive alcohol on his breath as he wrapped his arms around you and planted a sloppy kiss on each of your cheeks. He made sure you tell you how beautiful you were which caused you to hit him playfully on the chest and begin laughing. You sat down between him and John B, exchanging a smile with John as you sat down and your eyes lingered on his lips a little longer than they probably should have. 

To say there wasn’t something between you and John B. would be an understatement and almost everyone except for JJ could see it. The touches that lingered a little too long, the hugs that lasted longer than others when you left...

It was your secret but at the beginning of this summer trip, when JJ was away for your first week there, you found yourself collecting your things and silently creeping out of The Chateau at an ungodly hour of the morning. Your clothes were left on the floor and you were walking back to Figure 8 dressed in one of John B’s shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. During the entire walk home, your brain thought about his kisses and his touches. He didn’t need alcohol to touch you like JJ did. 

You bit down on your lip gently as JJ pulled you into his side and you were pulled from your memories and thoughts. You were back at the party mentally but you didn’t even really know you left in the first place. Your hand lingered near John B’s for a while before you moved it to lean into JJ a bit more.

“(Y/N), have I told you how absolutely beautiful you look in these party lights tonight?” JJ slurred over the loud music and the other Pogues laughed along with you. He planted another sloppy kiss on your forehead while he held you into his side. “Hey...why don’t we get out of here and go somewhere a little less crowded...” JJ’s voice slurred as he whispered the words into your ear before kissing it gently. His sloppy and drunk kisses trailed down your neck which caused tears to sting your eyes. 

“JJ stop...” You mumbled quietly, trying to push him away but he continued to kiss your neck, trailing over to your mouth. “JJ. Stop!” You said again but louder this time. You pushed his hands from your waist where they rested and quickly stood up, wiping the tears from your eyes and storming off into the house. JJ was quick to follow you through the maze of the house when suddenly the two of you were left alone in the foyer. 

“(Y/N). (Y/N)? (Y/N)?!” JJ’s voice called as he followed you. What finally made you stop in the foyer was his hand grabbing aggressively onto your arm. “Baby, come on...what is going on with you.” His slurred words said as he struggled to keep his balance. He ended up leaning against the front door of the home, staring down at you as tears began to form in your eyes again. 

“You, JJ. That’s what’s going on with me.” You said, wiping your tears quickly before they could fall. He frowned, looking at you and reaching out to grab your arm as you went to walk away. 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” He slurred, his voice growing angry. 

“This, JJ. This is exactly what I’m talking about. I never know if you actually....if you actually love me or not because the only touching that happens is when you’re drunk or high and we’re alone.” You said, ripping your arm away from his touch. You could see the anger and annoyance growing in his eyes and he grabbed onto your arm tighter. “JJ let go...” You mumbled but you knew that he wouldn’t. 

“That’s not true...” He slurred, his grip tightening as he backed you up against the front door. 

“Yes it is!” You yelled, ripping your arm free again and pushing the drunken boy in front of you. He lost his balance, stumbling back and falling to the floor with a thud. “Every time we sleep together, JJ, you’re not sober...every time you kiss me, you’re not sober....fucking hell, to even touch me you can’t be sober!” You yelled and the tears really started flowing down your cheeks as you looked down at the boy on the floor. He was half asleep, half awake...the alcohol taking a toll on his body for the night and you shook your head. “My point exactly....” You mumbled quietly. “You can’t love me when you’re sober, for some reason but you can when you’re like this. This isn’t the JJ that I fell in love with and it’s definitely not the one I want to be with now.” You said hatefully as you stepped over your friend who was still groaning and sprawled out over the floor from the fall to retreat back to the party outside. 

You found yourself sitting on the couch with the Pogues, minus JJ and they exchanged worried looks with each other as you sat down crying between Pope and John B. 

“Should we be concerned--,” John B began to say but you cut him off. It was mainly the alcohol coursing through your body that made the next actions happen. You were more confident and on top of that you were mad at JJ for his actions earlier. Your lips collided with John B’s and you leaned into the kiss as he placed his hands on your sides gently. He kissed back with just as much passion. 

Soon though, the moment came to an end and it was hard to process what happened until after it was done. In a split second, JJ was there in front of the two of you and in the next second he was on the stone ground on top of John B. Punches were thrown left and right and pretty soon a crowd had formed around the two friends who were engaged in a full on fist fight on the ground. 

“Stop it! You two stop it!!” You cried out, trying to separate the two of them. You could hear JJ mumbling curses under his breath, making sure the other Pogue knew that you were his. John B eventually was laying unconscious on the ground and Pope pulled JJ from him. Both were covered in blood and before you had a chance to even process what was happening someone at the party was yelling that the cops were outside. The neighbors probably called for a noise complaint. 

You exchanged a look at Kiara who nodded and looked to Pope. She helped you grab John B from the ground, propping him up and basically carrying him out to your car. Pope was following closely behind with JJ in his grip tightly. You didn’t want to take the responsibility from the party and you were sure that the cops would eventually leave if the house quieted down and no one answered their knocks on the door. 

Instead, you ran to the drivers seat, on your way to seek refuge at John B’s home on the marsh...It was stupid of you to kiss John B. and you didn’t really know why you had done it in the first place. You had probably done it because you wanted to make JJ jealous...deep down. You glanced in the rearview mirror at John B. who was half unconscious leaning against the window and JJ who was staring back at you angrily. Pope and Kiara were between the two, a barrier in case hard feelings boiled back to the surface. 

You quickly looked away when your eyes met JJ’s and you directed your attention back on the road and the destination before you, The Chateau....

The place where you would have to mend your broken friend as well as your broken relationship with JJ....if that was even possible at this point. 

[phebia]

Making Family, Prologue

So, I can’t really write for shit but I love to do it. Normally, I just write for myself and don’t publish any of my fics but I figured posting a few couldn’t hurt. I’m almost done watching On My Block (I know I’m late to the party ya’ll) and I’ve had this fic idea bouncing around my head for a while now. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it hehe.

People like to pretend that family is all about blood. The DNA in your core is what decides who your family is, and that's just how it is. Few people know the truth behind that rule. Know that it's a blatant lie. Blood doesn't mean shit. The people I shared my blood line with were far from what family should be. My parents were never physically abusive. A hand never struck me and I never had a bruise courtesy of them. That didn't mean that they were good, though. Words can hit just as hard as fists. Every syllable knocked me to the ground and it got harder to get to my feet each time. Neglect wasn't a word I liked to use, but it was exactly what the lawyer explained it as in court. My parents were mean when they were present but most of the time they were gone. Their presence in my life wasn't strong or positive. I wasn't quite sure how it started. If I had to guess, I'd say that Ruth and Arthur Connelly- the elderly couple next door, finally decided to speak up. They didn't know anything for certain. Not that they had to. It wasn't hard to notice the empty driveway and hear the screaming echoes. It had been a Thursday when she showed up. Caroline Jennings was a fresh-out-of-college social worker. I would eventually learn that I was just her third case. She had blown into my life like a storm, her blonde hair looking more like sunshine. The first thing I noticed about her were her straight teeth, shining as she smiled sweetly at me. I didn't know that taking a few minutes to talk to her would change my life. Dragging an almost 18 year old from a group home to court and back again was harder than Caroline had thought it would be. Her past two cases had been a 5 year old and 2 year old respectively. They hadn't known what was going on. I did. I knew exactly what was happening at every point in time. Caroline had shown up in late April and the judges gavel slammed down for the last time in the end of August. I spent my 18th birthday in a group home full of strangers. Katrina was a kind hearted Latina woman with stern eyes who ran a relatively recent group home all on her own. She didn't ask for help from anyone and she surely didn't need it. I had been there for months but that didn't mean living in a home that wasn't really yours was easy. I wasn't close to the other girls that called the old farm house home. Teenagers were filled with mean comments that would leave a mark if they chose to say them out loud, and they always chose to say them out loud. Apparently mean things were okay as long as it wasn't your parents saying them. I kept out of their way. Minded my own business. Tried to make my plush form as small as possible no matter how fruitless my efforts were, all in an attempt to be ignored. It was funny that after so many years of being alone, I became comfortable in the isolation. In the months it took for the lawyers and social workers in charge of my case to find someone willing to take me in I had legally become an adult, but Caroline had kept my case open as a favour to me. I may have been legal, but it would've been nearly impossible for me to survive on the streets of Waterdown alone. I didn't know much about my extended family and it was impossible to blame anyone for not wanting to take in an 18 year old stranger, but that didn't make the ache of being unwanted any less painful. It was on a late May day that I first heard the name Geny Martinez. Caroline had sat me down and did her best to explain how exactly we were related but all I caught was that it was through my mom's side and she could be referred to as a distant aunt of mine. That also seemed to be the only Caroline understood herself. The tremor of surprise that first hit me when I learned I had family in California looking to take me in lingered for days on end. It still clung to my nerves during the first week of summer when I first met Geny and her husband Ruben. Caroline had told me they were being flown out but it didn't make looking into her brown eyes any easier. Behind her beautiful face there was stress and concern, Ruben on the other hand seemed much more relaxed. Leading them through town was awkward, but sitting down in the local Starbucks and actually having a conversation was much worse. Geny had confessed she didn't know who my mother was or how we were related (a trend that seemed popular) but she was still willing to take me in. I couldn't help but laugh when she had warned me about Freeridge and told me she wouldn't blame if I refused their offer. The thought of living with strangers pulled my stomach into knots of anxiety but it was a much better option than fending for myself on the streets of Waterdown, which I undoubtedly knew I'd have to do soon if the Martinez family didn't work. The next day the couple was gone, but they had taken my phone number with them. I didn't hear from Ruben very often, Geny on the other hand texted me multiple times a day and slowly filled me in on her family and Freeridge. The first time I visited Freeridge was in the early days of June and I visited once more over the summer. My last visit had ended in the early weeks of July and I left feeling decently comfortable with my new... I wasn't sure what to call them, but family seemed to be the easiest word to use. I was set to return in a month, this time for good.

My first introduction to California had been a blast of hot air to the face. A part of me had been hoping that Los Angeles would've cooled down in the time that I was away, but Ruby had drilled the weather patterns of Freeridge into my head and I should've listened to him. He even suggested I get my hands on an entirely new wardrobe if possible. According to the young Latino all of Canada was frigid year round and no clothing suitable for my hometown would be fitting for my new one. I had laughed at the harebrained boy but my tie dye hoodie and black leggings earned me some looks from strangers in the airport and I quickly decided I probably should've listened to him. My slight familiarity of LAX made grabbing my luggage a less anxious process than it was the first time I had done it, despite the fact that I now had a few more bags with me. My life may not have been grand, but I needed more than a single suitcase to move it to a new country. With a small grunt I heaved my final suitcase off of the baggage claim belt, and after a brief scan of my belongings I turned, starting to look around for Geny or Ruben. However, I quickly froze in place when my eyes landed on a small familiar form marching towards me. My sunglasses gave Ruby a green tint but he and his scowl were unmistakable. "Hey..." My hopeful greeting faded off as my distant cousin stopped before me and gave me a judgemental once over, then turned his attention to my luggage without a word. "I told you not to wear your cold weather clothes. No one listens to me!" All I could do was stare as he shook his head to himself and struggled to get a good grip on a couple of my bags. "I knew that you'd mess up. You're lucky I brought these for you." With a large flounce of his arms he had dropped the bags and turned to hold a pair of simple, two strap, white sandals in my face. I quickly snatched the shoes from him with an unimpressed grimace and uncomfortable slouch in my shoulders due to the attention he had gained us. Ruby ignored my displeasure and went back to my belongings with a dramatic roll of his eyes, now muttering to himself in Spanish. "Easy on the Spanish, bro. She's a gringo, remember?" A new voice took my attention off of Ruby and it only took me a second to recognise Mario, who had wandered up to us at some point during his brother's rambling. A relieved smile pulled at my lips at the sight of him. Mario was my age and his laid back demeanour had made him much more approachable than his younger brother, or anyone else in Freeridge really. His mom had coerced him into showing me around Freeridge during my first visit and our time spent together had turned us into surprisingly close companions. He was undeniably my first, and best, friend in town, and he'd be damned if anyone tried to take the title from him. And although his words were true, I couldn't help but scowl at the term while I moved to embrace him. "Teach me Spanish, then." It was a discussion we had often, ever since I had expressed a desire to learn the language after quickly feeling out of place in the Martinez household. Mario had always laughed at that and claimed that I would be a terrible student, whomst he would never waste his precious time on. "I have no time." He shook his head and smiled at me as we both pulled away from the hug. This time though, his words were true. He was headed off to Berkeley tomorrow and although it was a huge accomplishment, a part of me couldn't help but wish he wouldn't go. With Mario gone I'd likely be stuck hanging out with Ruby and his friends. There was nothing wrong with the soon to be freshman's, other than the fact that I was a good four years older than them. But that was something I'd have to get over. Ruby was mature for his age and I was in no position to be selfish. Mario already put off his departure by a full day just so he could take a few hours to help me unpack and, in his words give me, "A real welcoming home." I rolled my eyes at his ever persistent refusal, shaking my head and turning away so that he wouldn't be able to see the smile on my face. "I'll teach you Spanish, Selina." Ruby had joined my side, looking up at me with my black and white backpack slung over his shoulders, seemingly over his earlier fashion fury. "You already have the name for it. Selina." The thick Spanish accent he accentuated my name with and tilt of his head brought a loud burst of laughter out of me. "Ah, so you're over my wardrobe." I placed a hand on his head and gestured at my hoodie, managing to grind my knuckles against his head and mess his hair up before he escaped my reach. "You know what? You can find a new teacher." He sassed, spinning around and marching way without hesitation, leaving me to grab a suitcase and catch up with him, both of us leaving Mario behind to take care of the rest of the bags. In a few long strides I caught up to his short form, wrapping my arm around his neck from behind and pressing my cheek firmly against his temple. "I missed you, Ruby." I smiled softly, tilting my head to press a swift kiss to his forehead, remaining quiet about the goofy smile I spotted forming on his face. Together we walked in silence, the constant noise of the airport drowning out the way my black vans scuffed against the linoleum floors. "Hey, do you think we should help your brother?" My sudden remembrance of Mario caused me to stop and glance back. My brown eyes scanned the crowds around us, the younger boy also turning to look for his brother. Eventually Mario walked into our sights, scowling harshly and dragging more bags behind him than both Ruby and I both had combined. "Nah." Ruby decided, shaking his head and beginning to walk once more, dragging my plush form along with him. "I still can't believe your mom let you two come pick me up, alone." I had been talking about my surprise airport escorts for the majority of the ride back to Freeridge, and I was sure both boys were overly irritated with me. But, knowing Geny meant knowing how protective she was of her children, even if one of them was an adult about to move away. Things just weren't making sense. Ruby had interrupted my constant musing with stories about what had went down while I was gone, but the distraction didn't last nearly as long as he had hoped. After his brother's failed attempt at silencing me, Mario resorted to steadily cranking the radio up until it drowned out my voice. But all that did was give us all a slight headache and I was still talking as we pulled up to the house. "What? Why? I'm responsible." My eyebrows raised at Mario's offended voice crack, choosing to share a silent look with Ruby instead of doing my teasing aloud. Despite my effort, the older Latino caught the exchange and scoffed loudly, practically shoving me out of the car. "Get out of my sight." I lingered, watching him and Ruby move to the trunk, hesitant to leave the brothers to lug all my things inside themselves. "We got this." Mario caught me looking and waved his hands at me, shooing me away from them once more. "Let the muscle handle it, Selina." Ruby nodded at me and flexed his arms, and that was all the encouragement I needed to leave them be. With a grin and shake of my head I shuffled up the walkway, and debated knocking on the door for a moment but Geny had scolded me whenever I did that so I ending up opting to walk in unannounced. "Surprise!" Confetti was popped in my face and a loud gasp burst out of me at the sudden shock. My heart raced in my chest as my shoulders heaved with uneven breath, my eyes wide and looking over the group of people smiling widely at me. I recognised most of them within a second prompting a laugh of relief to spill past my lips, my laughter causing everyone else to cheer once more. "Welcome home, mija." Geny was the first person to move, rushing towards me with her arms open wide and a glowing smile on her face. "Hi, Aunt Geny." I groaned into the hug but forced a grin onto my face, nearly sighing in relief when she released me from her iron grip. She continued to coo over me, her hands holding my face and squishing my cheeks together until Ruben arrived to greet and save me. I watched the couple walk away with soft eyes until the sound of someone tsking reached my ears. Turning my head to the right revealed Ruby's friend Jamal shaking his head at me, his lanky arms crossed over his chest. "A hoodie? Girl, in this weather? You must be crazy." I sighed and looked to the popcorn ceiling, pushing the sleeves of my sweater to my elbows. Maybe I was starting to sweat a bit, but I'd never admit it to any of the California natives who were just waiting for my admission of defeat with baited breath. "Save it. I already got the lecture from, Ruby." I held my hand out to silence him before he could get another word out, a tiny grin warming my features. "I bet you did." He shook his head but a moment later he was smiling back at me. "Welcome to Freeridge, Selina. Permanently this time!" I thanked him sweetly and promised to come back later with my review of his dad's barbecue. I weaved my way through the house, greeting neighbours with varying levels of enthusiasm depending on my familiarity with them. At some point the twins had stolen me away to play with them, but I was sent right back into the fray when Geny walked in on me being forced to help build a block castle. Not long after leaving the youngest Martinez's behind I collapsed onto the couch next to the oldest one. My head lazily rested against the back of the couch, tilting so that I could look at the woman beside me. Her brown eyes were already fixed on me and she reached out to squeeze my cheek, much like her daughter had. The two of us looked at each other in silence for a minute, Abuelita eventually breaking it. "You want a hit? My stuff's in the basement." I laughed at her offer, nodding my head and promising her that we were on for tonight. The silence between us was a welcome break from the surprise party and there was no need to interrupt it. We were both more than content to watch the people milling about, her hand gently resting over my own which was sat in my lap. I had been focused on watching Ruby and Jamal do their best to ditch one of the neighbourhood girls around their age, who was very obviously invading their personal bubble, when I was distracted by the woman to my right once again. "I think you're going to like it here, mija." Abuelita's voice was quiet and soft but it rang out in my head clearly, a reminder that there was no more going back to my old life. "I hope so."

[twoidiotwriters1]

Young Blood II -(PB/WITS Crossover)

A/N: Peter is also a non-existent character btw, or he never befriended the marauders doesn’t matter the point is that he isn’t here either lmao -Val & Danny

Warnings: Not proofread bc in this blog we don’t fear god

Words: 4,625

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Summer 1988

The day was warm and a little windy, it could’ve been peaceful as well, hadn’t been for the constant screaming coming from the garden.

“Ari! Come back!” The little girl shouted anxiously. “Mum told you not to climb that high, you’re too small!”

Mel ran around the tree desperately trying to reach for her little sister, but as an eight-year-old, there was a limit to the distance her arms could reach. She was whimpering and flinching with every movement her little sister would make; behind her, little Harry Potter and Perseus Black approached with curious expressions.

“What are you doing?” Percy asked.

“She’s up there!” Mel panted. “I’m trying to get Ariana, but she climbed all the way up! I don’t want her to fall!”

“You’re missing the games,” Harry complained. “It’s our party and you’ve been chasing your sister around, c’mon it’s almost time for cake!”

“Daddy told me to look after her!” She argued. “Your parents asked you to do the same with your babies! Where are they?”

The boys shared a look and then turned back to her with equal disinterest on their faces.

“The girls are probably in the kitchen trying to steal food,” Harry shrugged. “Who cares? It’s our party, I’m not going to waste it looking after the twins!”

“Mel,” Percy approached, he was usually the one to mediate between them during an argument. “If we help you with Ariana will you come and play? Dad bought us all new brooms!”

Mel didn’t want to disobey her parents, but the promise of a brand new broom waiting for her was tempting enough.

“Okay,” She sighed.

Ariana laughed hysterically above their heads, she hung upside down on the branch and Mel yelped, quickly hiding her face behind both hands.

“Hi!” Ariana waved at them. “You look tiny!”

“Get her down!” Mel pleaded in horror.

“Maybe if we lure her down with food..?” Harry offered, tilting his head.

“I already tried! She won’t come down!”

“Ari!” Percy stepped forward, an easy-going smirk instantly forming on his face. “Would you get off the tree now, darling?”

“Okay!”

With a swift movement and a short jump Ariana landed neatly in front of them, her lopsided grin mocking her sister’s pale face.

“‘Darling’,” Harry snorted. “You sound like our dads.”

“Dad told me we have to treat girls nicely,” Percy replied without an ounce of embarrassment. “Maybe the twins wouldn’t put shaving cream on your pillow if you were nicer to them.”

Harry made a face. “Whatever.”

“Is it time for cake?” Ariana asked, not really caring about what the boys were arguing about. “I’m hungry!”

She ran back to the house, Mel followed her with her eyes, mouth wide open.

“I hate her,” She pouted. “She always does this— Never listens to me just to make me cry!”

“Well, you cry all the time anyway, Mel,” Harry muttered.

The little girl narrowed her eyes and closed her fist ready to throw a punch, but her father’s head peered out the back door to call them in.

“Remus is here!”

The three children ran forward screaming their uncle’s name. The man opened his arms and the avalanche of children pushed him onto the floor.

“Dear god,” Remus grunted. “I swear your kids multiply every time I come visit.”

“Well, it’s like you said, Remus,” Persephone smirked, lovingly patting her belly. “We have to keep ourselves busy somehow.”

“This is why I hate rich people,” Remus teased, staring down at Persephone’s stomach. “So you’re going for the fourth, then?”

“And last,” Persephone sent a glare at her husband, but the man just grinned.

“What are you saying, you twat?” Sirius chortled. “Those books of yours have given you galleons over galleons! You’re rich, you just won’t admit it.”

“He might not admit it, but his robes speak for him,” James joked, picking up one of the twins from Remus’ chest.

“Kids,” Lily called over the yelling mass of tiny bodies. “Ivy, stop pulling your sister’s leg like that!”

“But I want daddy to carry me too!” The little redheaded girl whined.

“No worries dear, that’s exactly why I was born with two arms!” James said, happily picking up his daughter.

Sirius did the same with his younger son Leo, and Matthew carefully took Ariana away from Remus’ leg.

Seven-year-old Lyra Black approached her uncle and held his hand carefully.

“Are you okay, uncle Moony?” She asked quietly. “You fell.”

“I’m okay,” Remus smiled down at her. “Don’t worry, I’m very strong.”

“Can we eat cake now?” Harry asked in annoyance, the adults looked at him and laughed.

“Harry, don’t be rude!” Lily scolded her son while her youngest one, little Joshua, kept his arms tightly around her neck.

“Okay, gather round!” Emily called, placing three chairs together. “Where are the stars of the show?”

Mel, Percy and Harry sat, shoulders touching and squeezing together to fit as close as possible in front of the table.

“Make a wish!” Sirius said blithely.

Matthew flicked his wand and three huge cakes appeared, each with eight candles on them. Mel squirmed on her place excitedly, Percy eyed them with immense interest without making a sound, and Harry was practically hovering over his, ready to eat the whole thing alone.

“Happy birthday!”

Their families clapped at the sight of the three firstborns of the group blowing off the candles. While Sirius and Persephone started to hand out the cake to the guests, Matthew and Remus moved to a corner to chat.

“So, famous writer Remus Lupin is back from yet another tour around the world,” Matt smiled. “What now, Moony?”

Remus shrugged, his eyes fixed on little Mel, who was the oldest out of all the children.

“I have a new book in mind, but this one might be the last I’ll write in a while, I’ve missed most of the kids’ childhood, I want to be close when the real fun begins.”

Matthew’s smile faltered. “What do you mean?”

“Mel starts school soon,” Remus chuckled. “Harry and Percy as well.”

“Oh, but that’s years away!” Matt brushed it aside. “What does it matter anyway?”

“Oh please, don’t pretend you’re not worried,” Remus laughed. “The boys have all they need to be the next James and Sirius, and your daughter adores them, don’t you think they’ll drag her to their mischief?”

The young man looked at his daughter in sudden fear. Remus was right, Harry and Percy had the genes to charm his little girl into all kinds of mishaps, he couldn’t let that happen. He would not let that happen. Matthew was going to talk to Mel as soon as he had the chance.

October 1991

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I won’t help you with your stupid pranks,” Mel said.

Percy and Harry had managed to intercept Mel before she could go eat breakfast, and now they were trying to convince her to help with their plans before she could leave the tower. It wasn’t working.

“They’re not stupid!” Harry argued. “We just want to put Percy’s cousin in his place!”

“Not a real cousin—”

“Your dad and his mum are cousins, so you are too,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“I had never seen him in my life until he stormed into our compartment acting all stupid!” Percy made a face.

“I’m sorry boys,” Mel sighed. “I promised my dad, my uncle is the headmaster and dad wants me to make a good impression…”

“You’re such a bore,” Harry frowned. “What happened to you? You used to be funny.”

Mel’s face twisted with indignation, she slammed both hands on the table making the two boys jump.

“I am fun! It’s you two who turned insuferable since we started school! You run around with Ron and his brothers pranking people and annoying Malfoy, everyone melts at your feet because your families are rich and popular—”

“You’re rich too,” Percy pointed.

“But I, unlike you, don’t enjoy being the center of attention,” She scowled. “I thought you would be better than this, Percy, you’re supposed to be the sensible one.”

“I am!” Percy replied. “But it’s just… Malfoy, he really gets on my nerves, you know?”

“Well, if you ask me, I think Hermione’s right,” Mel turned up her nose. “You boys are being ridiculous.”

“C’mon, don’t be silly,” Harry let out a silly giggle. “You never say no to a good laugh, it’ll be fun!”

Mel’s brown eyes stared at him harshly, Harry felt a cold shiver ran up his spine.

“I have to set a good example for my sister,” She said. “Leave me alone — and Percy, I hope you think twice before actually doing this, I really don’t understand why you agreed to it.”

“I already told you, Malfoy gets on my nerves!” Percy rolled his eyes. “He’s an idiot and I hate him. I’m not repeating myself, honestly…”

“Idiots,” Mel rolled her eyes. “Both of you, your mothers will send you a howler someday and I for once, am glad I don’t have to be there to witness it. Have fun in detention.”

Harry was speechless. Never, in their whole eleven years of friendship, had Mel refused to help them or show up for moral support. He didn’t understand why she was suddenly acting like this.

“Mel, you’re overreacting,” Percy said, though he was losing his patience. “Even your parents misbehaved when they were here, you should relax, have fun…”

“I’m having fun,” Mel picked up her bag. “Hermione and Erick are fun. Clever too, I enjoy their company — now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ll be listening to you from now on, Paddie, since you clearly prefer to follow Harry around, if I’m honest,” Mel looked down at Harry with a bit of disdain. “Your cousin isn’t even that bad.”

Both boys gasped at her statement.

“He’s not my direct cousin!” Percy said.

Mel left the common room without saying anything else, Ron entered the tower at the same time and she briefly waved at him. He found the two boys there, seated in silent shock, and asked them what was happening.

“Mel, that’s what,” Percy shook his head sadly. “We’ve lost her... I knew I shouldn’t have let her spend all that time with Granger!”

“And Flint,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “She prefers Flint over us! I can’t believe he took away my best friend!”

Percy looked back at him with utter disbelief. “And what the bloody hell am I, then?”

“She’ll come around,” Ron shrugged. “Granger and Flint only care about studying, she can’t possibly love homework that much.”

“I’ll win her back, you’ll see,” Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Mel was my friend first.”

August 1993

“WHAT?”

“I won’t repeat myself, James.”

“Hang on, so you’re saying Dumbledore hired you,” Matthew intervened. “As the new defense against the dark arts teacher?”

“Yes.”

“Even though Snape has been trying to get that place for years?” Matt added, a little smile playing on his lips.

Remus smirked, nodding silently.

Sirius and James roared with pleased cackles, Matthew’s eyes shone and his smile widened, although he tried his very best to remain neutral, typical Dumbledore behaviour.

Emily walked into the room to say goodbye to her husband, the men usually picked a house where to hang out once a month while the women would all spend a whole day in London simply having fun and leaving their husbands to babysit their children for a whole weekend.

“Remus got hired to be our kids’ teacher, Mily,” Sirius said delightedly. “Guess what subject he’ll be teaching?”

Emily froze, her eyes widening.

“You got the job?”

Remus laughed, nodding once again.

“Snape must be having a seizure,” She replied. “Had it coming, the idiot — Mel says he likes to bully our kids, what kind of man is he?”

“Yeah, Harry says that too,” James said darkly. “I’m telling you right now, if that twat tries to bully my girls I’ll go to that castle and turn him into a weasel.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Remus said happily. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Do the kids know about this?”

“Nah, I want it to be a surprise.”

“I’m sure they’ll be delighted,” Matthew grinned. “Their favourite uncle teaching them how to deal with water demons and stuff, bet they’ll plan to cause mischief during your classes, Moony, so you better be careful.”

“There’s no way Mel will let them get away with it,” Emily shook her head. “She’s a good girl… even if she misbehaves a little during summer.”

“Hey, Moony, do me a favour,” Sirius leaned over to Remus, grinning. “Take a picture of good ol’ Snivellus once he finds out you’re the new teacher, I just need to see his face.”

September 1st, 1993

The night sky welcomed the children into the Hogsmeade station, the Potter twins ran away as soon as they left the train, following other first-years, Lyra and Ariana stayed behind with Mel, Harry, Percy, Ron, Hermione and Erick.

Ariana tried to remain as close as possible to Erick, she had a not-so-subtle crush on him and everyone except Erick knew it, or at least that’s what she thought. Erick was well aware of it, but since she was two years younger, he wasn’t interested. It wasn’t that she was trying to make a move anyway, whenever he was around, Ariana was uncapable of uttering a word.

Once they got to the carriages they had to split since the group was too big to fit in one.

“See you guys at the feast,” Hermione said politely.

“Sure,” Ron answered.

Mel made an attempt to follow Hermione, but a hand closed around her wrist and stopped her. She turned and met Harry’s eager eyes.

“Let Lyra go with them, you can come with us...”

“I never said I wanted to go with them,” Lyra frowned. “It’s rude to speak in the name of others, you know?”

Percy’s sister followed Ariana to the other carriage, Ron and Percy shared a smirk but didn’t say anything, climbing up the carriage first and leaving Harry and Mel last.

Harry didn’t know why he’d stopped Mel from going, he just knew that as soon as the school year started she was going to leave him and spend the whole year with Hermione and Flint, and he didn’t want that.

As soon as they got to the main entrance Mel tried to find her way to Hermione once more, but Harry stopped her again. Mel let out an annoyed groan and turned to face him.

“What?” She spat.

“Eat with us,” Harry said simply. “C’mon, Mel, just this once?”

Ron whispered something to Percy and he snorted, pulling the Weasley away from the conversation. Mel and Harry were left completely alone one more time.

“We sit at the same table every day, Glasses,” She replied patiently. “I don’t see the difference.”

“The difference is that we have tons of fun during summer and then here you ignore us,” Harry said.

“I don’t ignore you,” She crossed her arms. “I keep my distance. Which is what my dad asked me to do.”

“Ruddy’s exaggerating,” Harry rolled his eyes. “We don’t get in trouble that often!”

Mel raised a brow.

“You have no self-control. All Percy has to do is to dare you and then there you are, throwing firecrackers at Filch. You say I’m the one who acts different, but the truth’s that you and Percy turn into insufferable prats as soon as we walk into the castle.”

Harry’s mouth fell open in shock, he blinked and stammered a reply, something about lies and Mel’s lack of sense of humour when she was at Hogwarts, she sighed.

“Listen, I don’t care if you like the attention, but I don’t, so please don’t try to force me to get involved. You should reconsider your behaviour this year though, Cassia and Ivy are starting their first year, they need someone to look up to.”

“They have you, since I’m such a twat,” He scoffed.

“Very well then,” Mel said, straightening her posture and looking at Harry with just a little bit of pitty. “Have fun, Glasses.”

Once the sorting was over, Cassia and Ivy Potter (both Gryffindors to no one’s surprise) sat next to Mel, although they were doing just fine without her, they were loud and hilarious, soon Fred and George made their way to them.

Harry continued to stare at Mel from his seat, frowning as he watched her talk happily with Ron’s brothers, Percy was fed up with this and decided to address it.

“She rejected your offer again,” He said calmly. “Told you not to try so soon.”

“Well, why don’t you try it, then? Since you’re such a know-it-all?” Harry responded defensively.

“That was the original plan, you prat, but as usual your impulsive arse couldn’t wait,” Percy scoffed.

“I don’t understand why you want her around all the time,” Ron yawned. “I like Mel, she’s fun and everything, but we wouldn’t get as many attention from the girls as we do now if she were with us, right?”

Both Percy and Harry stared at their friend with the same shocked expression. Since they didn’t reply, Ron decided to continue.

“You guys are wasting your time, almost every girl from our year wants you to ask them out to Hogsmeade this year and you’re crying because Mel won’t help you light a firecracker!”

“I never asked them to follow me around!” Percy exclaimed. “I don’t know why they do it!”

“It’s because you’re ‘perfect’,” Ron smirked. “Girls melt at your feet when you hold the door open or offer your little sister your cloak so she doesn’t get a cold.”

“That’s the way Dad taught me to treat people, isn’t that how everyone’s supposed to act? It’s decency!”

Ron looked at Harry and raised a brow.

“See? That’s exactly what I mean. ‘Decency’ I tell you…”

“That’s not the point,” Harry brushed it aside. “I don’t want to date any girls, I just want Mel to admit that we’re fun! Either way she would atract more girls than any of us, she’s a people magnet— and I know she likes to cause mischief as much as us, but it’s just… this has to be Flint’s fault.”

“How is Mel calling you a twat his fault?” Percy snorted.

“He’s a stuck-up idiot, just like your cousin dearest, only that he hides it better,” Harry said. “Mel wants his approval for some reason, so she acts like she hates us when he’s around.”

“Yup,” Ron said in disbelief. “That settles it then, you’re off your rocker. You’ve lost it.”

“Harry, she would never pretend to hate someone to get a boy’s approval,” Percy shook his head. “You have to face it, mate, she doesn’t like to cause mischief, she… she likes being a good student.”

Ron and Harry both grimaced.

“Well, that,” Ron grinned. “Or she has a crush on Flint.”

Harry choked on his pumpkin juice.

“WHAT?”

“We know Ariana has a crush on him,” The young Weasley shrugged. “Who says she can’t?”

Harry’s mouth suddenly felt too dry to respond, at the teachers’ table Dumbledore stood up and everyone fell silent. It was time for his speech.

“To our new students, welcome,” He smiled. “To our old students, welcome back! A few things before you go to your rooms. This year will have two new Professors! I reckon you know them well by now, but still, formalities ask me to do this presentation. First, we have Rubeus Hagrid, who’ll be the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, since Kettleburn has decided to finally retire.”

The students clapped and cheered, Hagrid was loved by most of the school, Harry and his friends included.

“Second, I’m very pleased to inform you that your new Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts is none other than Mr Remus Lupin, who’s decided to take a break from writing to teach you about his discoveries during his years of research.”

The Great Hall erupted into loud and excited exclamations, Lupin was widely known in the wizarding community for his work, the Aurors in training would use his books as a guide, he was a legend. But to the Potter, Black and Dumbledore children, Lupin was their favourite uncle, and they were beyond pleased to have him around.

Remus walked towards the front of the table and smiled at the students in front of him with satisfaction, he gave a short speech thanking Dumbledore for this opportunity and winked at his nieces and nephews with a bit of mischief. He, of course, took the opportunity to send Snape a subtle smirk and nodded towards him, Snape pretended not to notice.

Once the hall started to be emptied, the group of children ran excitedly towards the table, their faces glowing with happiness.

“You should’ve told us!” Harry exclaimed.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Lupin laughed, softly patting his goddaughter’s shoulder, since Mel was currently hugging him.

“You’ll stay permanently?” Percy asked.

“As long as I’m allowed,” The man nodded. “Or at least, as long as there’s one of you here, which will be a long time. I’ve missed too many moments, I don’t want to miss any more.”

“Cool!” exclaimed the Potter twins.

“Wait, does that mean you’ll tell your parents if we get in trouble?” Harry frowned.

Mel scoffed, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Nah,” Remus grinned. “I think Professor McGonagall takes care of that. Doesn’t mean I won’t send you to detention if I catch you cheating on a test or using magic in the halls. You won’t get any kind of privilege from me, you hear me?”

Harry, Cassia and Ivy all groaned. Percy sighed in resignation, Ariana and Lyra were just happy to have their uncle around. Mel finally broke the hug, she looked at the others ready to lead them like she always did.

“Time for bed, everyone!” She said. “Let’s go!”

As usual, the group obeyed and walked out of the hall after saying goodbye to Lupin, already looking forward to the classes with him. Lyra and Ariana wished the others a goodnight and left to their respective common rooms. Hermione, Erick and Ron were nowhere to be found, and when Percy, Harry, the twins and Mel got to the tower, Percy stopped her before she could go to bed.

Harry wanted to stay too, but the twins dragged him away while they excitedly begged him to give them a tour around the castle the next morning.

“Okay, this is the one time I’m asking you this year,” Percy said. “Harry’s driving me and Ron mad. Please, help us with one of our pranks so he can shut up.”

“You know my answer, Paddie,” Mel tilted her head sweetly. “I can’t. If I help you and then I get away with it people will think it’s my uncle turning a blind eye on me and then Ariana will try and follow along, you know how she is.”

“C’mon, Mel,” Percy implored. “Can’t you just pretend to be at least slightly interested? Harry’s losing his mind, I’m telling you — the twins will call you boring!”

Mel’s mouth twitched a bit and her eyes narrowed, she was adored by the younger girls, she didn’t want to lose that and Percy knew it. She pushed her hair back in exasperation and huffed.

“No. Stop asking.”

Percy ran a hand across his face tiredly and shook his head.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” He raised a brow. “Harry’s getting desperate, and he won’t play nice.”

“What do you mean?” Mel asked, but Percy was already halfway to the stairs. “Black! What do you mean?”

The boy merely looked at her over his shoulder, a cocky grin on his face as he shrugged without speaking.

“Oh, no...” Mel shivered, already sensing what was coming her way.

May 1994

Saturday mornings were usually peaceful around the castle, Remus enjoyed strolling around the empty halls, but today the peace and quiet was rudely interrupted by a bunch of shouting kids.

“HARRY JAMES POTTER I SAID STOP!”

Remus freezes immediately at the familiar sound. He’s heard that voice before, but he’s never heard it so angry, more so when pronouncing the boy’s name. He carefully turns the corner and looks at the scene:

Percy, Ron and Harry are all staring at Mel with exasperated expressions, behind her Draco Malfoy and Vincent Crabbe float above them, cursing and demanding to be let down. Hermione Granger stands at the corner, looking at the boys suspended in the middle of the hall and she’s between amusement and horror.

“Mellow, didn’t you hear what he called ‘Mione?” Harry demands. “He said—”

“I heard it,” Mel replies bluntly. “But hanging him upside down won’t make him stop, he’ll just want to get back at you like he always does!”

“That’s alright, we have all the time in the world to put him in his place,” Ron shrugs, casually twisting his wand and causing Crabbe to crash against Malfoy.

“Don’t you think this is getting a bit old?” The girl steps forward but Percy gets in the way, raising a brow at her as if silently saying ‘D’you really think you can stop us?’ “Ugh! This is so stupid! You’re acting like children, you’re too old for this kind of stuff!”

“You look so pretty when you’re angry,” Harry teases.

Remus almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of this, the story somehow is repeating itself, how did this happen? Mel and Harry were getting along just fine last July…

He then abruptly remembers that he’s a teacher and he’s currently watching three Gryffindor students attack two Slytherins, he can’t stand there and just watch!

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks in what he hopes is his most convincing angry voice.

Percy’s eyes widen at the sight of his uncle but he expertly recovers, he gives a step forward to the man and and speaks in a polite voice.

“Malfoy was insulting Miss Granger, Professor, he called her… well…”

“He called her a mudblood,” Harry made a face. “As if he’s made of anything better than dung.”

“Enough,” Remus looks up at the boys floating above them and raises a brow. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

Mel pushes Percy aside, he complains under his breath.

“I tried to stop them,” She says to the man. “They weren’t listening — Can you please tell them they’re being stupid?”

“I can’t tell them that, Miss Dumbledore,” He raises a brow. “I saw what you were trying to do, you and Miss Granger can leave, I’ll take it from here.”

Mel nods and turns around to take Hermione away, Percy’s eyes find Hermione’s and he tilts his head lightly, vaguely making a head movement as if saying ‘you’re welcome’, and he smirks a bit. Hermione doesn’t reciprocate, she frowns. Percy’s expression falls instantly.

Harry mumbles something to Mel as she walks past him and she stops, looks him directly in the eye, and responds:

“You are the biggest prat ever.”

Ron chortles beside them, Harry’s jaw tenses as he watches her leave.

“Better luck next time, Harry,” He grins.

Malfoy and Crabbe are already on the ground demanding Remus to send the three boys to detention, and he has to admit he can’t ignore this, he looks at Harry and the boy sighs heavily.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He pushes his hair out of his face. “Detention for a week.”

‘I have to talk to the others,’ Remus thinks, watching the three boys leave the hall without looking even remotely sorry about their actions.

Next Chapter —>

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[faerieyoongles]

Fresh Air

Stoner!Jimin x Ghost!Reader

Genera: ANGST, fluff if you squint, (a bittersweet ending)

Summary: Being dead was extremely lonely, there’s nobody to hang out with or talk to. All you really can do is follow around your friends and family and help them try and move on with their lives. You were convinced you’d spend the rest of your days wallowing in depression and self pity, until one day you met Jimin. It’s odd really, you’ve never heard of someone only being able to talk to ghosts when they’re high.

Warnings: mentions of drug use, death/suicide, harsh language

You’re dead.

You’ve been dead for almost three years now. One tragic summer day, you decided to drive yourself to the movies to meet a couple of friends, on the way there, they texted you asking if you’d pick up some snacks to sneak in. You were typing a reply when all of a sudden you found yourself driving on the wrong side of the road. 

You can probably guess what happened next. The doctors say you were killed instantly on impact. Of course your friends never really forgave themselves, even though it was only your fault for texting and driving. Your parents’ relationship when you were alive was already pretty rocky, but once their only child died they just couldn’t even stand to look at each other anymore, so eventually they got divorced.

Needless to say, being dead sucked. You had to watch your loved ones suffer, and there wasn’t really anything you could do about it. Sometimes you’d try and send them messages, whether it was through dreams, songs, whispers, smells, anything you could gather enough energy to do. Most of them just rode it off as a coincidence, but a small few found comfort in your signals. Your dad never really got the hint, your mom however did and she still talks to you every night, even though you can’t really reply back.

After three years, your friends and family have finally started moving on with their lives. Doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, most of them still visit your grave now and then, but they’re all doing better now. You don’t feel the need to watch over them as much anymore, which to you is a relief. It’s nice to not have to worry about them all the time, but now you’re not really sure what to do. The after-life is pretty boring. There’s no one to hang out with or talk to, you can’t watch tv unless someone who’s alive turns it on (plus you never get to pick the channels anyways), you can’t ride roller coasters, can’t shop or spend money, can’t swim, can’t read books, nothing. All you really can do is watch the world turn around you and try to live your (after) life through the lives of others. Every once in a while you’d meet another spirit, and you’ve made a few friends, but most of them are too preoccupied with watching over families of their own. It’s not like you have a phone to keep in touch with them either.

In all honesty, you thought you were gonna be alone forever, but eventually all that changed for you.

As mentioned before, your loved ones were healing much better now, so every once in a while you’d wander off to do some exploring. Your favorite thing to do was to walk down the street and follow random people around, see what their lives are like.

It was mid-January in the big city of Seoul, and you’ve opted to follow around this old lady with a basket of bread. She was throwing it on the ground to feed the pigeons, which was a sweet aesthetic compared to the hostile civilian life that surrounded the area. You were trying your best to direct the pigeons towards her. Apparently, animals can sense spirits a lot better than humans can.

“Come on, little guys” you said in frustration “walk over, come on.” Pigeons are difficult birds to deal with, you realized. It was worth it though, the old lady seemed satisfied with the cluster of pigeons gathered around her.

You were in the midst of chasing down a stray pigeon who was running off in the other direction, when all of a sudden you hear a loud “Oof!” You look over to find someone had run into and almost knocked over the old lady. Luckily, she was fine, but the bastard had just taken off in the other direction running. You ran back over to make sure she was okay, not that you could really do much to help anyways.

“Watch it!” the old lady croaked at the young man who pushed into her. He didn’t stop running though, it must have not concerned him. Just a few seconds later, another young man came running past, it looked like he was chasing after the first guy. You decide to run and follow him. Maybe if you were strong enough to, you could give them a scare or something. After three years you’re still not the best at using your limited energy to interact with the outside world, but maybe you could give it a shot.

You started running after the two boys. Being dead meant you were never really tired, you could probably chase after them for hours and you’d be completely fine, so needless to say, catching up with them wasn’t much of a problem.

The boys chased after each other for three blocks. By the looks of it, the boy being chased had a bag in his hands, so naturally you assumed the second boy had something stolen from him and he was desperate to get it back.

“Jeon!” The second boy yelled. “I swear to god, I’ll kill you!” The Jeon boy ignored him and kept running.

Impressively, they ran for quite some time. The boy named Jeon eventually cornered himself in an alleyway, much to his misfortune. This allowed you and the second boy to finally catch up.

“Give me my money, Jungkook.” The second boy threatened. “You said you’d have it, so where is it.”

“I don’t got it, okay?” Jungkook pleaded. “But I’ll get it to you.”

“That’s what you said last time.” He was clearly angry and annoyed.

“Awe, come on, Hyung!” Jungkook smiled, trying to bring the mood down. “You honestly believe I’d lie to you.”

“You did lie to me! You lied to me last time I tried to sell to you and you lied to me today! I just had to chase you for three fuckin’ blocks because you tried to steal from me!”

Jungkook kept his smile on his face. He was clearly younger than the other boy, but didn’t seem much threatened by him. From what you could gather, the boys knew each other well.

“Relax, Jimin hyung. It’s not a big deal.”

“I swear to god I could kill you right now!” The boy, you now know is named Jimin, tried to swing at Jungkook, but he easily dodged it with a smirk.

“Okay fine.” he emphasizes. “Here’s your weed then. I don’t want it anyways.” Jungkook throws Jimin the bag, Jimin catches it and puts it in his pocket.

“You still owe me. You still haven’t paid me for the last time, or the time before that, or before that, or-” Jimin was cut off

“Okay! Yeah, I get it. How much do I owe you?”

“About a thousand.” Jimin stated.

“A thousand!? Nuh-uh, no way. There’s no way I owe you a thousand.” He said, shaking his head. “It’s probably about half of that!.”

“I keep tabs, Kook.” Jimin pulls out a little book with a list of clients and the money he made. He brings the book over to show Jungkook. “See, you haven’t paid me for over a year. I let it go for a while, but I’m gonna need that money eventually, and I’m not giving you anymore ‘til I get it.”

Jungkook huffs “Fine, whatever.” He then storms out of the alleyway, clearly annoyed at his friend.

“And don’t even try getting some from Yoongi hyung. I already told him not to give you any.” Jimin shouts back. Jungkook just shoots him the middle finger and he disappears around the corner. “Sheesh, that kid.” Jimin says to himself, unaware you’re standing next to him.

You found yourself observing him. His face seemed innocent and slightly feminine, but his eyes were low and angry. He wore a black sweatshirt and ripped jeans. His boots were worn and dirty and his laces had been removed. He had a whole story draped across him, and you found yourself desperate to read it. Some things about him were obvious, like the fact he dealt weed and smoked a shit ton of it. You could smell it on him from a mile away. He didn’t have much money, but he did make a decent amount from selling drugs. His hair was blonde and messy, probably from running three blocks. He was fit, so maybe he played sports or worked out?

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Jimin pulled out his phone and started talking to someone. 

“Hello? Hyung? Yeah, he didn’t have the money. Again. Yes, I got it back. Alright. Yeah, I know. I’m coming back now, then. Okay.” He hung up the phone and started to make his way out of the alley and down the street. Before you could stop yourself, you started following him. It’s not like you had anything better to do anyways.

------------------------------

You followed Jimin for half a block until you reached his small apartment. It was a beaten up building in the middle of Seoul. You recall your parents telling you to stay away from that area when you turned 18 and finally started driving. It wasn’t the most glamorous of places, but Jimin looked pretty comfortable with his surroundings. The atmosphere suited him, he walked the streets like he’s walked them for years.

When reaching the building, Jimin opened the door wide enough so luckily you could slip in too. You trailed behind him as he made his way up the withered staircase and ended his journey on the third floor. He stopped at a door labeled 3C, took out a key and slipped it into the lock. After unlocking the door and making his way inside, he was greeted by two older boys who you assumed were his roommates.

“Jiiimmiinnnn!!” one of the boys shouted. Much like Jimin, he had a soft feminine face that looked much too innocent for the life he was living. His hair was bright red and his heart shaped smile framed his teeth perfectly. “I missed you~!” The boy said lazily. From the musty smell in the air, you could clearly tell that both the boys sitting on the couch were high out of their minds. “Did you bring anything to eat?”

“No, sorry” Jimin replied, placing his keys on the kitchen counter. “Do we not have any food here?”

“None that he wants to eat.” Replied the other boy. The second roommate was taller than the other two boys. His skin and hair was the color of honeycomb giving him a fiery tan. He slouched on the couch in a leather jacket and a blunt in his hand.

“I’ve said before that Doritos make my stomach hurt.” Said the first roommate.

“Everything makes your stomach hurt, Hoseok.” said the second roommate.

Jimin was searching the cabinets for something to eat, he eventually discovered a box of instant mac and cheese.

“Namjoon hyung, is this yours?” Jimin asked the second roommate. Namjoon just shook his head. Jimin then made his way to a lower cabinet and pulled out a pot to fill with water.

You realized pretty quickly Jimin was making himself food for his eventual case of the munchies. You knew you didn’t want to wait around and watch him get high, so you did some exploring. The kitchen and the living room were connected. On the right side of the living room was a hallway that led to three bedrooms and one bathroom. It was a small apartment, and it was clear none of the boys made the effort to keep it clean. There were clothes and dirty dishes everywhere. Lots of wrappers from food (and condoms but you chose to ignore those) and empty bottles. You found a few bags that had previously held weed in it. Underneath the cabinet in the bathroom was where you found their merchandise. There were two small plants with a purple light hanging above it. You didn’t know much about growing marijuana but you assumed that that’s exactly what its purpose was. You explored the three bedrooms and concluded that the last room on the left was Jimin’s. It was a small room with a wooden bed frame, a wooden desk, and a wooden bureau. All the furniture looked like it came from the same place, or maybe it was here when he moved in. Out of all three of the rooms, Jimin’s room was the cleanest (although it still wasn’t very clean). You noticed a picture frame on one of the back corners of his desk. It had a picture of him and a little boy, both smiling. He looked vastly different in the photo than he did in real life. His hair was black and his clothes were brightly colored. His face was still soft but he didn’t have the same angry eyes he had now. His cheeks were rosy, as well as the young boy’s next to him. You stared at the picture for a while. You concluded that Jimin was a very handsome boy, even more handsome when he was happy. By comparison to the weed induced Jimin that sat in living devouring a box of Mac and Cheese, the Jimin now was not nearly as happy as the Jimin in the photograph.

You made your way back to the living room after snooping around the strangers apartment. All three of the boys had blunts in their hands and smoke spilling from their lips. The TV was now on, and they were all focused on watching an Iron Man movie. You sat on the armchair that was placed next to the couch, deciding that you too would watch the movie. You didn’t find much interest in the film though, your eyes kept moving back to Jimin, watching him and his movements. After a while, he decided he wasn’t all that interested in the movie either.

“I’m gonna go take a nap.” He said, placing his dirty bowl on the coffee table. The two other boys just hummed in acknowledgment. You followed him down the hallway to his bedroom, there he shut his door behind him and sat on the floor. Leaning up against his bed, he just stared up at his ceiling. You sat down on the chair at his desk.

Honestly, following Jimin around was pretty boring. The day was getting late and you knew your mom would start saying goodnight to you soon, so you thought maybe now would be a good time to make your way home.

“Whoa! You scared the shit outta me!” Jimin yelled all of a sudden, scaring you in the process. You looked at him to see what the problem was. To your surprise, he was staring straight at you, but there was no way he was talking to you. You’re dead, and the only people who ever talk to you are other spirits, mediums, and sometimes animals, maybe children if they’re pretty intuitive. You looked behind you to see if maybe someone had walked in, but there was no one there. You looked back at Jimin confused. He was still staring at you. “Did Namjoon Hyung bring you here?” He asked. “He’s always bringing girls home but never telling them to leave.” he chuckled. You, however, were still very confused. Was he really talking to you?

“Uh?” Was all you could say. This was your first time having an actual conversation with a living person since you died. Jimin just kept looking at you, waiting for a response. “No, I just- um..” How would you even go about telling him your a ghost and you followed him home because the after life is boring as fuck.

“Was it Hobi then?” He asked. “I swear to god, I need to get my own place.”

“No, I came here on my own.” You replied, hesitantly. Your social skills have clearly declined in the past three years.

“Oh, well are you here to buy then?” He asked. “‘Cause I have a bag ready that was supposed to go to another client.” At this point you were certain he was talking to you, and you started freaking out a little bit. How come he could see you now but he couldn’t before? Could he see you before but just chose not to acknowledge you?

“Um no…” You said “I’m not exactly… uh.. alive, I guess.”

“Ha!” Jimin laughed “Aren’t we all.”

“No, I mean-” You cut yourself off with a huff. It was pointless trying to explain and you should probably just leave, but you hadn’t had a human interaction in so long that you just could help but try and see where this conversation would go. “I don’t know how to explain.”

“Okay?” Jimin questioned. You wondered why he didn’t just kick you out. You were a stranger just chilling in his bedroom and he seemed to have no problem with it. You figured he’s pretty used to being high around random people. He just kept staring at you, it made you feel like you were under his microscope. You weren’t sure how to act, what to say, what to do, so you kinda just sat there. “You’re pretty cute.” He said outta nowhere. “What’s your name?”

“Um, Y/N” you spoke quietly. You had your hands in your lap and were playing with your fingers. Jimin averted his eyes down and watched your fingers squirm with each other.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Jimin.”

“Hi, Jimin.” You said back. It got silent for a moment. The situation you got yourself in was very awkward indeed.

“I’m dead.” You said out of the blue. Maybe if you just said it, ripped it off like a band-aid then it wouldn’t be so painful trying to spill it out.

“Dead?” He asked. He still wasn’t clearly understanding who and what he was talking to.

“Yes.” You confirmed. “As in, like, I was living once, and now I’m not.” You were still twirling your fingers together, nervous how he’d handle that information, if he could even understand what you were trying to tell him.

“Oh, that’s cool.” Jimin said. He obviously wasn’t comprehending what you were telling him, but at least you tried. 

Just then, Hoseok came bursting in the room. “Jimin!” He said, “Me and Namjoon are going to go g-” He cut himself off with a little laugh “Why are you sitting alone in the dark?”

“Alone?” Jimin asked. He looked back at you with a confused look on his face. “Did you not see Y/N?” He then pointed to you, as if Hoseok was the one that was tripping balls. You looked at Hoseok, and he looked over to the chair you were sitting on.

Hoseok let out a laugh. “Dude, I think you’ve been smoking too much of that shit.” he pointed to the blunt in Jimin’s hand. “Anyways, Me and Namjoon are going to Yoongi and Jin’s place, they’re having like a small party thing. You wanna come?” Jimin was still shocked and confused as to why Hoseok couldn’t see you. Was what you had said really true? But there’s no way, it’s not like ghosts were actually a thing, were they?

Jimin took a moment to respond. “Uh, n-no I’m okay. I’m still pretty tired.”

“Are you getting sick?” Hoseok asked, Jimin's face was getting whiter and whiter the more he stared at you. “Just get some sleep and you’ll probably feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah, I will.” Jimin said.

“Okay, well, see you later then.” And with that, Hoseok closed Jimin’s door and left.

The air in the room was thicker now that it was just you and Jimin again. Jimin was just staring at the wall with wide eyes and a pale face. You figured it was probably best to let him speak first.

Jimin then cleared his throat. “So, you’re dead.” He said slowly.

“I’m dead.” You confirmed with a head nod.

“How?” He asked.

“Well, I won’t bore you with the details, but don’t text and drive.” You chuckled. Jimin didn’t chuckle back. “Uh.. Three years ago I was on my way to see a movie with some friends and they texted me when I was about three blocks away. I’m kind of an idiot and paid more attention to my phone than I did to the road. Next thing I knew I was in the left lane and there was a giant storage truck coming my way.”

“Oh, that sucks.” He said, still staring at the wall, not daring to look at you anymore.

“Yeah, it does.” You said.

“Did it hurt?” He asked.

“Um.. probably. I don’t remember much of the dying part. All I remember is being scared that a truck was coming my way, next thing I knew I was standing over my body watching myself bleed out on the side of the road.” Retelling your death never got easier for you, the whole thing was pretty traumatic. You waited for Jimin to respond, but like before he just kept staring at the wall. 

“That’s rough.” He said. He finally looked at you. He was lightening up a bit, he didn’t look as pale as before but he still looked pretty freaked out from the whole thing. It probably would’ve been better if you had just left when you wanted to. “How-” He cleared his throat “ah- why are you here now? I mean- here in my apartment.”

“Oh,” You figured it probably be fair to explain why you were creepily sitting in his room without his consent. “I’m pretty bored, most of the time. I saw you chasing that boy down the street earlier today and I figured, you know, I’ve got nothing better to do.” You awkwardly chuckled. You realized you basically just told him you’ve been stalking him for most of the day for absolutely no reason other than you had nothing else to do. “I mean, it’s kind of a thing I do. It’s not like I can go out and do anything else, you know. Being dead isn’t exactly exciting.”

“I see.” He replied. The moment went dull and neither of you knew what to say. You figured he was still trying to comprehend the whole ghost thing, and you didn’t know what to do to make him feel better about it. This is the first time a living person has seen you entirely, so you were a little uneducated on how to approach the situation. Jimin just kept staring at that wall, like it was the most interesting thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.

The day was starting to turn to night, and you knew this situation was never gonna get any better. Besides, your mother was waiting for you. You abruptly sat up to leave.

“Where’re you going?” Jimin asked, finally turning his head to look at you.

“Um, to see my mom.” You replied. “She usually talks to me before she goes to bed, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Oh,” He said. Was he really upset you were leaving? He didn’t look thrilled to have you there in the first place. “Will you be back?” You were confused. Does he want you to stay?

“Uh, Maybe?” You said. “If that’s what you want.” Jimin nodded his head.

“I’ve never met a ghost before.” He chuckled. “Is it wrong to be curious?”

“No, not at all.” You stated. “You just looked a little freaked out.”

“Oh, I am. But that’s what makes this fun.” He laughed. At this moment you concluded you liked Jimin. He was soft and quiet, but weird in an intriguing way, plus you now had a friend to talk to. You figured visiting Jimin on a daily basis wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Okay then.” You said. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” And with that, you left.

--------------------

The next day seemed to come slower than you wished it did. When you arrived at your old house the night before, you listened to your mother talk to you for about half an hour. 

She told you about her new boyfriend named Atticus. He was a pharmacist who your mom met about a year ago. You liked Atticus. Every once in a while he would go with your mom to help her place flowers around your grave. You once followed them around on one of their dates. He really was a sweetheart. You wished you could've seen them together when you were alive, you knew you would’ve liked him then too. In all honesty, the main reason you liked Atticus so much is because he’s been a huge help in helping your mom move on with her life. It gives you comfort knowing your mom is being taken care of by someone who truly appreciates her.

Other than talking about Atticus, your mom mentioned something about finding an old box of yours. There were old photos, old clothes, shoes, toys, basically anything your mom couldn’t find herself to throw away. She said that in the box she found a letter that you wrote to your dad on his 50th birthday. It was basically telling him how much you loved him and how happy you are to have him in your life. She said that she wants to mail it to him, but she doesn’t know where your father moved to.

 After your death and after the divorce, your dad kinda went MIA. Even you don’t know where he ended up. You went to visit him one day in the apartment he rented nearby and he just wasn't there anymore. Apparently, your mom didn’t know where to find him either. It worried you, not knowing where your dad ended up. You didn’t even know how to look for him either, it’s not like ghosts can use the internet.

After your mom went to sleep, you searched the house for the letter she was telling you about. You found it lying on the living room coffee table, along with the rest of the box she mentioned. Even if you could find your dad’s address, how would you let your mom know where he lived? How could you possibly get someone from the outside world to deliver this letter for you?

The next morning, you went to the same neighborhood Jimin lived in. You promised him you would go and see him again, but he was also stoned so you wondered if he even remembered the conversation from the night before. Either way, it was better than doing nothing.

Surprisingly, you remembered where his apartment building was. You were kinda proud of yourself for being able to navigate yourself through an unfamiliar area. When approaching the building, you found Jimin sitting on the steps with his hood up and his earbuds in.

“Hello again!” You said enthusiastically. He gave no response though, he just kept staring off into the distance. Was he not able to see you? You waved your hand in front of his face to get his attention, but he looked right through you as if you weren’t there. “Great.” You said melodramatically. You were invisible again. Basically this whole trip was pointless ‘cause there’s no way you can interact with him now. If Jimin couldn’t see you now, then how come he could see you the night before? Was it because he was high? You haven’t heard of someone only being about to see ghosts when they’re intoxicated, but it seemed like that was the only explanation.

Jimin checked his wrist watch. He must have been meeting someone, because after he put his wrist down he got up and started walking. You decided you’d follow him. Jimin walked about a block before he got to an alleyway. What was with this kid and alleyways? Is that the only place he could do his deals? When approaching the alleyway, there were two boys waiting there for him. One of the boys you recognized from before, Jungkook. The other boy looked unfamiliar to you, but upon observing him he looked about the same age as Jimin.

“Taehyung!” Jimin shouted with a smile on his face, taking his earbuds out. You guessed that Jimin and Taehyung must have been close since they both looked so happy to see each other. “It’s been too fucking long!” Jimin hurriedly approached Taehyung and Taehyung wasted no time in wrapping his arms around him and picking him up.

“I missed you!” Taehyung laughed into Jimin’s shoulder. It was endearing watching the two boys be reunited. You found yourself laughing along with them.

“Sheesh, do y'all need a room or something.” Jungkook sneared. “There’s a motel around the block ya know.”

“Oh fuck off.” Jimin said. The two boys released each other. “You’re just mad I won’t sell to you anymore.” Jungkook just huffed in annoyance.

“Speaking of.” Said Taehyung. “I’ve got about one fifty on me, is that enough?”

“Yeah, that should be good.” Jimin said. He pulled out a plastic bag from his pocket and in return Taehyung gave him the money.

“Thanks.” Said Taehyung. Jungkook started walking over from the spot he had previously been residing in. He pulled a wad of cash out from his pocket.

“Here.” He said sternly, holding out the money. “That’s three hundred.”

“Oh wonderful!” Jimin said sarcastically. “Only 7 more to go!”

“You’re lucky I even have any money at all. I’m already so behind on my rent.”

“Oh, poor baby.” Jimin teased while tossing the hair of the younger one. Taehyung seemed to find Jimin teasing hilarious.

“Oh, fuck off” Jungkook spat. Neither of the boys seemed to take Jungkook seriously.

“Remember when Jungkook was little and actually nice to us?” said Taehyung.

“Good times. What ever happened to you, Kook?” Jimin teased.

“Drugs.” Taehyung chuckled heavily. It suddenly got quiet between the three of them. It seemed that underneath the thin layer of jokes the boys were tossing around, lay the undeniable and cold truth. Upon observing their body language and their conversation, you figured Jimin must have known these boys since childhood.

“Yeah.” Jimin sighed “That’s what happened to us all. You take care of him though.” He lightly hit Taehyung's shoulder to show he was directing his statement toward him. “I feel like I don’t see him enough to check up on him.”

“I’m not a baby.” Jungkook sneered. “I don’t need to be checked up on.”

Taehyung just laughed at the youngest’s remarks. “Yeah, I will.” It was quiet between the three of them again. None of them knew how, but they all suddenly got really nostalgic really quick. “We better get going, Kook. If we’re late again Seokjin hyung is gonna flip.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook agreed.

“You should swing by the garage sometime.” Taehyung said to Jimin. “We all miss you.”

“I will.” Jimin said. “I’ve just been busy lately, but I’ll find the time. Isn’t it Yoongi hyung’s birthday next week?” The two other boys nodded. “I’ll be around that day then.”

“Can’t wait!” Taehyung exclaimed.

The boys left the alleyway and Jimin made his way back to the apartment. You, of course, followed close behind him. You followed him until he was back in his apartment and sitting on the couch. Namjoon and Hoseok must have been out because it was just Jimin sitting alone, smoking and watching TV. You wondered if he had any other hobbies.

After about half an hour of you watching the show Jimin put on, you heard a “You’re back!” come from the spot Jimin sat in. You looked over at him to find he finally noticed your presence.

“Hello again.” You said back.

“I missed you.” Jimin smiled.

“Missed me?” You asked. Jimin nodded his head.

“I had some questions I wanted to ask you. If that’s alright with you?”

“Mhmm” You hummed in approval. “Ask away.”

“Okay.” he started. “What’s it like being dead?”

“Well, it's extremely boring. Sometimes it’s frustrating because you don’t have any control over what goes on in the outside world.”

Jimin nodded. “Makes sense.” He lifted his arm to bring the blunt to his lips. He inhaled and paused for a moment, like he was thinking. As he breathed out, he asked “What happens when we die? Is there like a heaven and hell kinda system? Like do we go somewhere first and then decide if we want to walk around and be a ghost?” Geez, this kid’s got a lot of questions.

“Uh, I honestly don’t know. It’s not like I was given a ‘How To Be Dead, For Dummies’ book. If there is a heaven -or a heaven like place- then I have no idea how to get into it.”

“Well maybe you have some unfinished business you have to complete first?”

You chuckled “Of course I have unfinished business. I died at the age of 20, nobody plans on dying that young.” Sitting up a little, you sighed. “I just have no idea what it is I need to finish. Even if I did know, I’m not very good at manifesting energy to manipulate the living world.”

Jimin thinks for a second, taking in another puff “Being dead sounds like it…. sucks, to be honest.”

You laugh. “Yeah, it does.”

He held his breath again, but this time without the smoke filled in his mouth. He looks you up and down, clearly thinking about something. For some reason, you stare back. “I want to help you.” He says, “Whatever it is that you never got to finish, I want to help you finish it.”

You stop breathing for a second. After three years all you’ve wanted was help. Wandering alone in a world where you have no answer to anything is frightening. “That’s sweet, but I already told you, I don’t even know what my unfinished business even is.” You then suddenly remember the letter from the night before. You must have gasped a little because Jimin’s face lights up along with your own.

“What?” He asked.

“Actually, there may be something you can help me with.” You say. “I can’t find my dad.”

Jimin chuckles. “Yeah, join the party.”

“No, I mean,” You huff out a laugh. You guessed before that Jimin came from a broken home. He just confirmed your suspicions. “After I died, I lost track of where he went. I went to visit his apartment one day and he just wasn’t there anymore. My mom found an old letter I wrote to him when I was 16 and I want to get it to him.”

“And you think that will help with your unfinished business?”

“I mean, everyone else from my life has gotten better. I don’t have to worry about them anymore. But my dad……. I guess I just want to make sure he’s okay. I don’t know how I could move on with at least seeing him again.”

Jimin nods his head. “Yeah, alright. I’ll help you.”

“Thank you!” You squeal, jumping out of the seat you were sitting in. Jimin chuckles at your reaction. “I don’t know how I’m gonna repay you.”

“Don’t sweat it.” He dismisses. “It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”

“I thought you said you were busy though?” You questioned. He looked at you confused.

“What?”

“When you were talking to those boys earlier, you said you’ve been too busy to be able to see them.”

Jimin laughed. “How long have you been following me around, Y/N?” You blushed in embarrassment. Did it make him uncomfortable that you’ve just been following him around without him knowing?

“Uh, I found you sitting on the steps earlier. I tried to say hi, but you didn’t see me.”

“Oh.” Jimin said, shocked. “Yeah I didn’t. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Most people don’t see me.” You awkwardly chuckled. “I figured it was because you were sober.”

He chuckles at your comment “You think I’m some sort of stoner psychic.” Jimin smirked. “Huh” he raises his hand to his mouth again to take another puff.

“I’ve never heard of someone only being able to interact with spirits when they’re high, but I’ve definitely seen weirder things.” You say.

“I’ve always been able to see weird things when I’m high. I usually just got made fun of for it. Plus, everybody sees bizarre things when they’re high so I just thought it was normal”

“Weird things?” You asked. “Like what? What do you usually see”

“Like random people that weren’t actually there. Or faces that show up out of nowhere. Anytime I mentioned it my friends would just tell me I smoked too much.” He shrugged.

“Huh. Weird.” You said.

“Indeed.” He confirmed. He took what was left of his blunt and put it out in a little ash tray that sat in the center of the coffee table. He wiggled the top around for a few seconds while smoke escaped through the sides, he then finally lay the stick down in the center of the tray. “Anyways, about your dad. I got a buddy who’s really good at tracking people down.” He looked at you. “It’s not exactly legal though.”

You shrugged “I’m dead, it’s not like I can get in trouble for it. I’m cool with it if you are.”

“Alright then.” Jimin got up from the couch. “Follow me then.” He then led you to the front door and out of the apartment.

--------------------

You followed Jimin downtown, about an half an hour walk from his apartment. You expressed your concerns about him walking around the city being as high as he was. He told you that half the people that lived in this area were intoxicated with much more dangerous drugs, and that he does it all the time. You scolded him for that last part as well. He must have not taken you seriously, ‘cause after your five minute rant about how dangerous it all was, he just called you adorable. You kept nagging him about it the whole walk and he just kept smiling at you. He really did have a nice smile.

Eventually, you both reached an auto-shop labeled “Min and Kim Auto Repair”.

“These are some old buddies of mine.” Jimin said to you. “If they can’t find your dad then nobody can.”

“Really?” You laughed. “A car shop?”

“It’s a front.” Jimin said. “Or it was, until Yoongi and Jin found out they both enjoyed fixing cars more than they did selling drugs.”

“I see.” You said. You followed him inside. 

The shop was small, but it was well kept and obviously the owners put a lot of effort into it. Jimin led you to a small office in the back corner. He must have come here a lot, none of the employees seemed to question his presence or stop him from going into a room that was clearly meant for employees only. Jimin opened the door, allowing you to go in before him.

The room he brought you to was a break room. It had a small kitchen area with a fridge, microwave, a diry counter, and a sink that looked like it didn’t work anymore. There was a couch, clearly damaged but held together with duct tape.There were lockers on one side of the wall and tables on the other. Out of the whole shop, this room looked like it was cleaned the least.

“Chimmy!” Said a man walking in from one of the doors on the opposite side of the room. He looked older than Jimin did, and a lot healthier too. He was very handsome. Broad shoulders and a lean torso. You found yourself staring a little too hard. Jimin seemed to notice too.

“Drool much?” He whispered to you. You just blushed, embarrassed you got caught staring at his friend.

“I missed you, Chim!” The man reached over to where Jimin stood and pulled him in for a hug.

“I told you not to call me that.” Jimin said, embarrassed into the man’s shoulder. You’d be lying if you said we weren’t a little jealous he got to feel his shoulders and you didn’t. It was moments like these when being dead really sucked balls. 

“You haven’t been here in weeks.” Said the man. Now that he was closer to you, you got a better look at him. He had a name embroidered into his jacket that read ‘Seokjin’.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’ve just been busy.” Jimin replied. You knew now that he was lying, but you couldn’t help but wonder what his real reason was. “I’ll try and come more often.”

“You better.” Said Seokjin.

“I actually need your help with something.” Jimin said, hesitantly. “And I know it’s a lot to ask, but it’s important.”

Seokjin’s face dropped and he sighed. “I thought I told you I didn’t want to be involved in your messes anymore.”

“I know, but it’s super important and I swear this is the last time I’ll ask.”

Seokjin sighed again. “Alright, but only because I’m happy to see you again. If I do this though, you have to promise you’ll be by more often.”

“I swear.”

“Alright, what do you need?”

Jimin glanced over at you. “There’s a man I need to find.”

“What for?”

“Uh.” Jimin looked over at you again. “He owes me money. It’s not a lot though, but ya know, I’d still like to get it.”

Seokjin eyed him suspiciously. “How much?” he asked.

“Uh, about two fifty.”

He laughed. “Alright then. What’s his name?”

Jimin looked back over at you. “Robert (L/N)” You told him.

“Robert (L/N)” He said to the older man.

Seokjin took out a pad of paper from his pocket, and a pen from behind his ear. “Okay,” He said as he wrote the name down. “I’ll look into it for you, Chim.” Jimin rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Do you know his last place of address?”

“483 Walloway Street. It’s about 45 minutes from here.” You said. Jimin repeated the information and Seokjin wrote it down.

“I’ll call you if something comes up.” Seokjin said. “I got to get back to work though, but promise I’ll see you again soon?”

“Yes hyung, I promise.” Jimin said. The two boys hugged goodbye and Seokjin went back to the room he first emerged from. You and Jimin both headed back the way you came, back to his apartment.

The walk back to Jimin’s was quieter than the walk before. You figured it was a good time for you to finally ask some questions, since he already had his turn.

“Why did you lie?” You asked. Jimin’s head shot in your direction.

“What?”

“Everytime one of the boys asks you why you don’t visit them as often anymore, you say it’s because you’re busy. You told me earlier that you basically do nothing, so which is it? Are you busy or do you do nothing all the time?” You say. Jimin takes a second to respond.

“I’m never really doing anything, to be honest. Although, I’m constantly exhausted, so it feels like I’m always busy. I don’t know if that makes any sense.” He says.

“No, I get it” You say. “I feel like that sometimes too. I’m dead so I technically don't get tired, but the constant dread and worrying about watching over everybody makes me feel so drained.”

He pauses for a moment and stares out into the distance. “I don’t have anybody to watch over though, I just feel like I’m floating through time and space. That alone feels like the most exhausting thing in the world.”

You hum in agreement. “Nobody could see me until now, ya know. You’ve got your friends to check up on you. I'm constantly alone.”

He looks over at you and finds that you’re already staring at him. You get startled by the sudden eye contact and quickly advert your eyes to the sidewalk in front of you. “I like you, Spirit.” He says suddenly.

“Spirit?” You question.

“That’s what you are, isn’t it?”

“Well yeah..” He chuckles at your sudden shyness.

“It’s true. I like you, Spirit.” He repeats.

“Why?” You jokingly ask.

 He inhales sharply “You feel like a breath of fresh air. Like I could finally start breathing again. Most of the time I just feel alone” You were starting to feel bad for him, not that you didn’t already. After following him around for two days, you could tell he has a lot of friends, so why did he feel so lonely?

“You don’t like your friends?” You ask.

“I do.” He says, “but they aren’t the same as they used to be. I’m not the same as I used to be, but that’s just life.”

“Mhm…” You hum, “like they’ve all moved on without you, and all you can do is watch them grow older.” Jimin nods. You’ve felt that same pain too. You’d be lying if you said watching your family and friends go on without you didn’t hurt a little bit. You wanted them to be happy, of course, but it stung to know that things won’t ever be the same for you. There’s no moving on for you, no growing old, no new chapter. You’re stuck being 20 forever.

“I feel like I’m dead sometimes, like I’m just the shell of a man who once was alive.” Jimin says.

“I know the feeling.” You chuckle a bit, since that’s literally exactly what you are. “So that’s why you don’t see them as much anymore?” You question.

He nods “It's exhausting trying to pretend like I’m still the same person I once was, when I’m not. And It’s even more exhausting pretending like I'm okay with the fact that they’re not the same people they once were.” Jimin’s voice has gotten a lot softer. He’s looking down at his boots and he kicks little pebbles beneath his feet. You realize now that you had a lot more in common with Jimin than you thought you did.

“Who was that boy?” You ask. Jimin looks at you, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “On your desk, there’s a picture of you and a little boy.”

“Ah.” His head tilts up in clarity. “That’s Jungkook.”

“That’s Jungkook?” You say shocked. “It looked nothing like him.”

He chuckles. “Yeah I know. That’s what I mean.” Jimin looks back at you to look you in the eyes. “We’ve all changed. Probably Kook the most out of all of us. That kid started taking drugs for fun, then he suddenly didn’t know how to stop.” He sighs. “I can’t blame him though, it’s not like I haven’t met the same fate. The only thing is, he’s doing shit he knows nothing about. Dealing with drugs he doesn’t even know how to use properly. I swear that kids gonna get himself killed.”

“Why don’t you help him then? Like take him to a rehab facility?”

Jimin’s face falls and he sighs once more. “Who do you think gave him the drugs in the first place? If Jungkook goes to rehab then we all get caught for dealing, Jungkook included.”

“Oh.” Your head hung as well. It really was a messy situation. You didn’t know what to say anymore. “I’m sorry.” Jimin just nods, and you know he’s sorry too. 

His face then lightens up and he stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“What?” You ask. Jimin doesn’t respond. He then takes a sharp right turn into one of the shops lining the sidewalk.

“Follow me.” He says enthusiastically. Naturally, you follow him.

He leads you into a tiny shop filled with crystals, orbs, old books, and other things that you’re not even sure what they’re for.

“Where are we?” You ask. He goes to answer you, but is shortly interrupted. 

“Welcome visitors!” Shouts a voice from behind where you were standing. You and Jimin both jump and turn around. An older woman emerges from a curtain draped under a doorway. She dressed in a long skirt and flowy boho shirt. Her necklaces all look handmade and each one has some sort of syble or crystal attached to it. “How may I be of service?” She looks at Jimin and then at you. Once your eyes met hers, her face suddenly lit up.

“Um.” Jimin started. “I’m looking for somethin-” 

“Something to help you communicate with your friend here?” She cuts him off and points at you. She starts making her way closer to where the two of you were standing.

“You can see me?” You asked, surprised.

“Of course my dear! You really thought you’d walk into a medium’s shop undetected?” She says. “Now let me see.” She switched her eyes between you and Jimin rapidly while her hand rubs her chin. You and Jimin both look at each other awkwardly, exchanging looks of uncertainty. “You” she points to Jimin “can only see her under the influence of the devil’s lettuce. Am I wrong?” Jimin shakes his head. You chuckle a bit at the term ‘devil’s lettuce’. “And you” she switches her finger so it’s now pointing in your direction “need his help with something, and you can’t do it without your little boyfriend’s help.” You nod, shocked. 

“He- he’s not my boyfriend.” You stutter, flustered. The lady ignores your statement, though. You and Jimin exchange looks again.

 “I might just have the thing.” She clasps her hands together and walks over to a shelf in the back corner of the shop. Your eyes follow her as she reaches and opens a little box. She stares into it for a moment, contemplating something, though it’s unclear what. She then closes the box again and walks back over to the both of you. “This might be able to help you.” She hands the box to Jimin. He takes it from her apprehensively, then slowly opens it to see what she’s given him. It was a necklace with a circle charm hanging off the end of it. In the center of the charm was a clear stone.

“What’s it for?” Jimin asked.

“It’ll help you communicate during the times when you can’t see her.” Said the woman. “It’ll be easy for you to use it too.” She said looking at you. “Just stick your finger to the stone and it’ll point light in any direction you want it to.” You look at her questioningly. “Well go on, try it.” You put your finger to the stone, and sure enough a light beamed onto the ceiling. When you moved your finger to the left, the light moved left as well. “When he’s wearing this, you’ll be able to give him directions using light.”

“I see.” You said still looking up at the light casting on the ceiling.

“How much?” Jimin asked.

“Twenty-five dollers.” Said the woman. Jimin followed the woman to the counter and set the box down. He pulled out his wallet and gave the woman three tens. After receiving his change, he put his wallet back in his pocket, took the box from the counter and headed for the door. Both of you thanked the woman before leaving.

Outside the store Jimin stopped and took the necklace out of the box. Putting it around his neck, he positioned the stone so it was facing forwards. 

You stared at for a moment. The stone was pretty, it was clear, like glass, and had little sparkles littering through the surface. It was small and round, and the charm surrounding it was a nice gold-copper color. You thought it was beautiful, and found yourself staring at it. Jimin found himself staring at you. You touched the stone again and the light was now casting onto the pavement.

You giggled. “That’s fun.” Jimin giggled as well.

“Come on, Spirit.” He said, as you both made your way back to his apartment.

--------------------

By the time you both made it back, Jimin claimed he was sobering up and couldn’t see you as well anymore. It was getting late so you told him you should be leaving anyways. He asked if you’d show up again tomorrow, and of course you said yes. Lately, you’ve been finding it hard to stay away from him.

Visiting you mom went as it usually did. She talked about her job and her boyfriend, then ended the one sided conversation expressing how much she misses you. She did end up telling you that she stored the letter and the rest of the box under her bed in hopes of being able to deliver it to your father someday. You just hoped you could help make that a reality.

As mentioned before, ghosts don’t sleep. After your mom went to bed, you found yourself extremely bored sitting in your old bedroom. Since your mom decided to keep the house you grew up in, your old childhood room remained almost completely intact, minus a few things that were given away to charity. You were laying on your twin bed, staring up at the ceiling. When you were alive, you used to do this all the time when you needed a moment to think. In this moment, you felt like you were a teenager again. Of course, it didn’t feel exactly the same, you were still dead and there was still this void inside of you that you couldn’t ever seem to fill, but for a moment life stopped and allowed you a taste of something other than death. Death is depressing for everybody, especially for those souls who just can’t seem to move on. 

It was 3 am and you grew tired of lying around and doing nothing, even if you did enjoy living in the past every once in a while. You made the decision that you’d visit Jimin’s apartment again, even if it was just to watch him sleep. God, you really have become a stalker. You couldn’t quite understand it yet, but being with Jimin provided you a sense of security. He filled that void, even if it was only for a moment.

You made your way to his part of the city, and found that the lights surrounding his apartment were actually quite pretty at night. They didn’t illuminate the corners, just the front surfaces of everything. It was peaceful how the city was so alive even when it was asleep. Sounds of cars and voices ran through the streets and alleyways like blood through a living person’s veins. You could see why somebody might hold this place near to their hearts.

You finally reached his building and made your way inside. It was a bit difficult for you to get through the door. You had to conjure up enough energy twice to help you slip through. Once through the main entrance and another through Jimin’s apartment door. To your luck, Jimin’s bedroom door was open a crack, so that allowed you to slip in easily.

You sat at his desk chair and watched his chest rise and fall. He was still in the same clothes from earlier, minus his sweatshirt, now the tee shirt he wore under it was exposed. His hair was a mess, probably from tossing in his sleep. He looked like a teenager, in all honesty. His room a mess, his disregard for changing and washing his clothes, you’d probably never guess this was an adult man fending for himself out in the world. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it a bit charming though. That was probably another reason you enjoyed Jimin’s presence, he made you feel the taste of nostalgia you didn’t get to have anymore.

You watched him for about half an hour before his phone rang and rudely lit up the entire bedroom. Unwillingly, Jimin woke up and answered his phone with a groggy voice.

“Hello?” He croaked into it. He rubbed his eyes as he listened. Then all of a sudden, he stilled. His hand fell to his side and his face dropped. You wondered if it was really that necessary to call somebody at 4 in the morning. Apparently it was, Jimin sat straight up after the person on the other end of the line finished talking. “I’ll be right there.” Jimin said before hanging up. He quickly grabbed his sweatshirt and phone before he practically ran out the door. Of course, you decided to follow him.

You followed Jimin for about two blocks before a hospital came into view. You knew by the way Jimin was rushing that nothing about this situation could be good. When he reached the entrance, he threw the doors open and ran inside looking around frantically. You looked around too, trying to see what exactly Jimin was looking for.

“Jimin!” Shouted a voice from both of your lefts. It was a man you haven’t seen before, but based off of all of Jimin’s friends you have and haven’t seen so far, you assumed it was Yoongi, the guy Seokjin was talking about before. Jimin ran over to where Yoongi was sitting in the hospital waiting area.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I fucked up.” Yoongi said with his head in his hands.

“What happened?” Jimin repeated, enfucising the urgency of the situation.

 “I got some dope from a buddy of mine,” Yoongi choked out. “Jungkook said he wanted some ‘cause he hadn’t had any in a while. I swear on my life he didn’t have much, but next thing I knew he was laying on the couch in the shop and wasn’t waking up.” There were visible tears in his eyes and his voice came out choppy and sharp. His adams apple bobbed up and down every time he took a breath,

“A buddy?” Jimin scolded. “What kind of buddy gives you laced pills?”

“I don’t know!” Yoongi pleaded “I told you he was a friend, why would I let Jungkook touch it if I thought it was dangerous?” Jimin ran his hands through his hair, he was starting to get tears in his eyes as well. It was clear both boys were extremely distressed.

“We’re all going to jail.” Jimin said. “You realize that? Once the cops start investigating and digging everything up-”

“I know.” Yoongi cut him off.

“And I swear to god, hyung, if he dies-”

 “I know!” He was borderline screaming now. Everyone in the ER turned their heads to look at the source of the commotion. The boys took this as a sign to lower their voices. “I told you, I fucked up.” Jimin just sighed in response.

“Where is he now?” He asked.

“I have no idea, they put him on a stretcher and won’t tell me where they took him.”

Jimin sat down in the seat next to Yoongi, defeated. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do, it's not like you could do anything even if you were alive.

You started walking around, seeing if there was any sign of where Jungkook might have been taken. Just then, a nurse walked into the room and headed to the front desk.

“Do you know where patient Jeon has been taken to?” She asked the front desk. The woman behind the counter started typing on the computer.

Your face picked up. If you followed this nurse then you’d probably find Jungkook. You looked back at Jimin who was still on the verge of tears next to Yoongi. You walked back over to him, and much to your fortune, the necklace Jimin bought the day before was still hanging around his neck.

You put your finger to the stone once again, and light casted on the floor just as it did before. Since Jimin’s eyes were already hung to the floor, he noticed the light pretty quickly.

“Y/N?” He whispered. You moved your finger to the right to point towards the nurse at the information desk. The light resided on the back of her scrubs. Jimin’s eyes narrowed, trying to comprehend what you were trying to tell him. The nurse then nodded a thank you to the lady behind the desk and started to walk. You did your best to keep the light shining on her as much as possible. Jimin must have gotten the hint, ‘cause he abruptly got out of his seat and started to follow her.

“Where’re you going?” Yoongi asked.

“Bathroom.” He said without even bothering to look back.

Jimin followed the nurse down a long hallway. You tried your best to keep the light shining on her back, but it was hard when Jimin was walking so fast. Eventually, the nurse led you two to a room with double doors. She slid in a card key which allowed her to open and enter. Before Jimin could reach the doors, they closed. All he could do was look through the window. You decided to look through as well.

Inside the doors was a disturbing sight of Jungkook getting his stomach pumped. You kinda wish you didn’t lead Jimin down this way, it probably would’ve been better if he didn’t see this.

Jungkook lay unresponsive on a hospital bed, with tons of wires hooked up to him. A giant tube was shoved down his throat. You quickly looked away, not wanting to see anymore. Jimin, however, just kept staring. The more he stared the more tears started to fall from his eyes. 

“Jimin, stop.” You begged. You knew it was pointless since he couldn’t hear you. It was more of a silent plea to yourself, hoping he’d stop torturing himself like that. Your prayers were bittersweetly answered when he backed away from the door. He put his back to the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. His face was stained with tears and you couldn’t help but think this was your fault a bit. You really shouldn’t have led him here. Jimin’s breathing started picking up, and his crying became more hysterical. You crouched down to touch the stone again, signaling him you were still there. You couldn’t do much to comfort him, but you hope that that was enough.

“What am I supposed to do now, Spirit?” He whispered to you through choked sobs. Even if he could see you right now, you wouldn’t know how to respond.

“Jimin.” Said a soft voice from the other side of the hall. Both you and Jimin whipped your heads over to see who it was. Seokjin stood in a jacket and sweatpants, clearly being in the midst of his sleep when he too got a call. Jimin wiped his tears with his sleeve. The amount of tears falling from his eyes reduced after noticing Seokjin’s presence. “He’s gonna be alright you know.”

“You don’t know that.” Jimin spat back. Seokjin just sighed. “How’d you even find me anyways?”

“Yoongi’s told me you ran off in this direction.” He said as he made his way closer to where Jimin was sitting on the floor. “I just walked straight down the hall and, well, here you were.” When he finally reached him, he crouched down and sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder. Jimin wiped his nose with his sleeve as he sniffled once again.

“You don’t want to look in there.” Jimin said pointing to the door windows.

Seokjin nodded. “I’ll take your word for it.” It was clear neither of the boys knew what to say. Their friend was on the verge of dying and all they could do was sit around and wait. Seokjin suddenly started rummaging around in his coat pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper that was folded in fours. “I know this probably won’t make you feel better.” He said. “But here’s the address you asked for earlier.” Seokjin passed the paper to Jimin, and Jimin unfolded it to look at the writing. Sure enough, there was an address written on the inside. You crouched down beside Jimin to look as well. It looked like your father now lived two cities away.

Jimin stared at the paper for a bit, regulating his breathing. Sometimes you wished you knew what he was thinking. It always looked like he had thoughts running a mile a minute.

“Thanks, hyung.” He said as he folded the paper back up and put it in his pocket.

“Um, excuse me.” Said a nurse from above where the boys were sitting. It was a nurse you directed Jimin to follow earlier. Both boys looked up at her. “Could you gentlemen please wait in the waiting room?” She said in a kind and calming voice.

“Yes of course.” Said Seokjin as he got up. “Our apologies, m’am.” Jimin stood as well. The nurse nodded a ‘thank you’ and disappeared down the hall. Both Jimin and Seokjin made their way back to the waiting room to where the rest of the boys were now apparently waiting, so claimed Seokjin.

--------------------

Jungkook died about three hours later.

At first, it looked like he was gonna make it. The doctors say his heart gave out unexpectedly.

All the boys were still seated in the waiting room when they heard the news. Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok felt the need to get as far away from the hospital as possible. Nobody knows where they decided to go. They all got into Yoongi’s car and drove off. Seokjin forced himself to deal with all the dreaded paperwork, since Jungkook didn’t have any legal or blood relatives that would do it. His eyes were glassy the entire time, but he forced himself to not cry, not yet. Taehyung helped too, he even called a funeral home and started making arrangements. 

Jimin, however, didn’t do anything. He was still seated in the waiting room chairs, head in his hands and tears falling on the floor. Every few minutes or so, you’d touch the stone again to hopefully comfort him. You weren’t sure if it was working or not, but it was all you could do.

You decided then that you would stay by Jimin’s side for the rest of the day. You couldn’t leave him, not now. Sitting in the chair beside him, you took in your surroundings. You were looking around to see if maybe you’d spot Jungkook’s spirit, silently praying he hadn’t gotten lost yet. You remember dying, and you remember your first few moments being dead. The very first thing you did was look for your family. It surprised you that you haven’t spotted Jungkook trying to communicate with any of the boys yet.

“Jimin.” Said a voice to Jimin’s left. He looked up and found Taehyung standing over him, tears in his eyes as well. Taehyung’s face showed more emotion, though. Jimin showed evidence of sadness through his tear stained cheeks, the rest of his face just looked utterly numb and defeated. “Why don’t you go home and rest. It’s probably not good for you to stick around her any longer.” Jimin didn’t respond. He just nodded and stood up.

You and Jimin both made your way back to his apartment.

--------------------

Jimin must have remembered you were with him. When he opened the doors to get to his apartment, he held them open a bit longer to let you get through. It made you feel better. It showed you he wanted you there. Every time you passed through, you would touch the stone again, as a way of saying ‘thank you’.

You expected the first thing he would do when he got home was cry. When he finally closed his front door, you braced yourself. You assumed he’d finally snap.

But he didn’t.

First thing he did after closing the door was go to the cabinets and grab his stash.

He still hadn’t broken down when he took out the weed.

He still held himself together as he rolled his blunt.

He still remained calm when he lit his blunt.

Two puffs, and still nothing.

Four puffs, and still nothing.

Eight puffs, and still.. Nothing. 

He just stared at the wall. Still standing up, behind the kitchen counter. He didn’t even bother to sit down.

Ten puffs, and still nothing.

It was excruciatingly painful, just standing there watching him. Waiting for the shoe to drop. 

Sixteen puffs. Nothing.

No reaction. Just inhaling, and exhaling. 

You didn’t sit down either. You felt too on edge to allow yourself any kind of relaxation. 

After about fifteen minutes, Jimin started to feel the effects. His eyes turned red, and his muscles relaxed a bit. 

Though, he was only relaxed for a moment, until he saw you standing on the other side of the counter.

Twenty puffs, and he still hasn’t reacted.

And he didn’t react. 

Not when he looked up at you. 

Not when he walked over to you. 

And not when he was standing right in front of you, face to face. 

You could feel his breath touch your nose, but he couldn’t feel yours. The more he 

looked at you, the more his eyes started to water, and his lip started to quiver. But still, he hasn’t fully reacted yet.

He only let himself go when you asked the dreaded question “Are you okay?” 

It was a stupid question, really. Obviously, he wasn’t, but what else are you supposed to say?

Jimin broke eye contact with you after you asked it. He shook his head, and finally let his guard down. He choked on his sobs. His shoulders bounced up and down everytime he exhaled, and he was exhaling pretty rapidly.

He was now reacting the way you expected him to.The shoe finally dropped, as did he. Jimin fell to the floor and rested his back to the counter. He wasn’t just crying, he was sobbing, wailing. It was the kind of cry that was in no way pretty, the kind of cry that society deemed acceptable for only children. You fell to the floor with him, and you as well started crying. You not only cried for Jimin, but for Jungkook. He was too young to die, and you knew that feeling all too well. This whole situation was like one big Deja Vu that didn’t end.

“Hey,” you soothed. “It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” Jimin just shook his head.

“No, it’s not.” He croaked out. He was right though, and you knew that. None of this was okay. You wanted to touch him. To hug him, stroke him, hold him. You knew it would be useless, but you couldn’t help yourself. You reached out your hand to touch his face. Your skin made contact with his and you stroked his cheek. You could only faintly feel him. There was still a barrier between you two, between the living and the dead. 

Jimin, however, felt you clear as day. It was only for a moment, only for a split second. The moment your hand touched his face he felt your warmth. It quickly scattered away, lost in connection, but he felt it. He didn’t tell you though, he knew he probably should’ve but he didn’t. He wanted to keep that to himself.

Even though he only felt you for half of a moment, he realized he loved the way you felt, and he’d do anything to feel you again.

--------------------

You stayed with him for the rest of the day, as you promised yourself before.

You comforted him when he cried, and listened to him when he talked. He told you about his favorite moments with Jungkook. Most of the memories were from when Jungkook was in middle school and Jimin was in his early years of High School.

You assured him that none of this was his fault. Yes, there were times when Jimin gave him drugs, but if Jungkook hadn’t gotten the drugs from Jimin he would have just gotten them somewhere else.

You also told Jimin that if you ever saw Jungkook walking around, you’d let him know. You remember the feeling of being a new spirit, being so lost and confused. Of course you would help Jungkook out in any way possible. It was very unlikely Jungkook had moved on already. He was young and most definitely had unfinished business to take care of.

You constantly had to remind Jimin to eat. He was reluctant, but he listened.

You had to remind him to shower. Again, he was reluctant, but he listened.

You knew it would be a while before Jimin was himself again, and you were willing to help him in any way possible. 

At about one o’clock, five hours after Jungkook’s death, he made an unexpected suggestion.

“We could go visit your dad.” He said, till teary eyed. “I have his address now, we could give him that letter.”

“Jimin, your friend just died. I don’t think-” “Please,” He interrupted. “It will help me take my mind off things. Besides, you’ve been with me the whole day. Let me do this for you.” He forced a smile and sniffled. For a moment, you almost believed the smile was a real one, and that scared you a bit. You felt guilty. He was in a lot of pain, and yet he still wanted to do this for you. It should have been you doing something for him, but you were dead, you couldn’t really do anything.

You told him once more that you didn’t think it was a good idea, but he kept on pushing it. After about a ten minute debate you gave in. If he really wanted to go, you knew there was nothing you could do to stop him.

“It’s at my mom’s house.” You told him. “There’s a box under her bed with everything she wants to give him, including the letter.”

“Alright.” Jimin said. During the time you spent together that day, you both migrated to his bedroom so Jimin could cry in the comfort of his own bed. He got up from his bed and made his way back to the kitchen. You trailed behind him.

“You know, you could just give the address to my mom. She’d be okay with taking it to him.” You said.

“No, I want to do it.” He insisted.

“Jimin, you really don’t-”

“Please, just let me do this for you!” He shouted, starting to get annoyed. There was desperation laced in his voice. You couldn’t really understand why this was so important to him, but you figured this wasn’t the time to argue, so you nodded an ‘alright’.

Before leaving, Jimin rummaged through one of the draws in the kitchen, looking for something. He pulled out a plastic bag with, what looked like gummies, inside.

“What’s that for?” You asked.

“Edibles.” He said. “So I’ll be able to see you the whole time we’re out.” He put the baggie in his pocket and headed towards the door. You both then made your way to your mother’s house.

--------------------

When arriving at the house, you realized your mother’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

“Shoot.” You groaned. “She’s not home.” You turned to Jimin, expecting the both of you to just turn around and go back to his place.

“Is there any way to get in the house?” He asked.

“What, you mean like, breaking and entering?” You asked in disbelief. “Jimin, you could be arrested.”

“Well, does your mom have a security system?” He asked.

“Well, no but-”

“Then I’ll be fine.” This was the third time he interrupted you today. He was being oddly pushy, but you allowed it after the tragedy of today’s events. “How do I get in?”

“I’m not letting you break into my mom’s house.” You scorned, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Fine then, I’ll figure it out myself.”

“In broad daylight?” You questioned, shockingly. “Somebody’s gonna see you.”

“I told you, I’ll be fine!” He was clearly short with you, aggravated by your constant worry about him. He knew it was unreasonable, since you were just looking out for him, but still, he had a plan and he wanted to go through with it.

He walked around the entire perimeter of the house. Your mom lived in a small little neighborhood just on the outskirts of the city. Most of the people that lived around here had day jobs. He really wasn’t that worried about being caught, the neighborhood looked so dead. Besides, even if someone did see him, he’d be long gone before he gets caught. 

The whole time he searched for a way in, you just kept your arms crossed and pouted behind him. You didn’t like the fact that he was putting himself through all this for you. It really wasn’t that important, but you didn’t want to tell him no. He’s already been through enough today, the last thing he needs is you pissing him off, which it seems like you already did.

Jimin found that the basement door in the backyard had been left unlocked. You remembered your mother never remembered to lock it, even when you were alive. She likes to garden, and it’s just easier for her to keep the door unlocked so she doesn’t have to unlock it every day when she wants to tent to her vegetables. Plus, she always loses the key anyways. You made a mental note to scorn her if you ever got the chance to. Jimin swung open the metal doors and climbed down the steps.

“You coming?” He asked when he noticed you weren’t following behind, just standing at the opening of the cellar with your arms crossed. You just rolled your eyes and reluctantly trailed after him.

When you were both in the basement, Jimin closed the door to the outside and found the string that turns on the light. It had been a while since you’d been in your old house’s basement. You walked over to a box labeled ‘toys’, which consisted of your favorite childhood memories. All your old barbie dolls, old costumes, a play kitchen set, it was all there. God, if only you could rewind time and be a kid again.

“Cute.” Jimin chuckled from the other side of the room. You turned around to look at him.

“What is?” You asked. He held up the picture he was looking at. It was a picture of you and your parents on your third birthday. All three of you were smiling over an Elmo cake, while you wore an Elmo shirt and party hat. It made you smile, you remember seeing that picture multiple times when you were alive.

“You were cute.” Jimin said with a small smile on his face.

“Were?” You joked, acting as if you were offended. He laughed at your statement. After all the crazy events that happened that day, it was so so nice to see him smile, even if it was only for a moment.

“Come on, Spirit.” He said as he put the picture back in its original place. “This box isn’t gonna deliver itself.”

--------------------

It didn’t take long to find the box and the letter, and before you knew it, you and Jimin had made your way out of the house before anyone saw the crime you both committed. You told Jimin to write your mom a note, saying that the box had been delivered to your dad. You also told him to write his new address as well, in case she wanted to ever get in contact with him. Your parents didn’t hate each other, and you were fairly certain that if your mom ever wanted to reconnect with your dad, he’d be receptive.

You and Jimin took the subway to the city your dad lived in. It was about a twenty minute ride, and every few minutes or so, Jimin would eat some edibles to keep his high. Eventually though, he couldn’t stop eating them since they were the only food he had with him. You had to yell at him to stop, but of course he didn’t take you seriously, he just told you that you were cute when you were angry. You ignored his sad attempt at flirting, but then again, was he flirting with you? It’s not that you wouldn’t want him to flirt with you, it’d just be pointless. You were dead and he wasn’t, there was no room for a relationship between you two.

You were brutally aware of your feelings for him though. You didn’t act on them, or even acknowledge them, really, it was pointless to. He would eventually find someone, someone who was alive and still had a life to live. When that happened, you decided you’d be happy for him. You never got to have that, so it’d be nice to be able to see him have it, even if it isn’t with you.

If you were alive, though….

Oh, if only you were alive. With Jimin, you felt like you were living. Even when you had a beating heart, it never beat as fast as the way your chest pounded when he smiled at you. Even if you were alive, you never felt like you were living. You’re convinced that you were supposed to meet Jimin during your lifetime. You’re convinced that if you did mean Jimin during your lifetime, you might have just spent the rest of your life with him.

It was a bit childish to think about these things, and you knew that, but you didn’t have much else to think about these days. 

You fell in love in the afterlife, what a miserable way to spend the rest of eternity.

It felt like forever, but you finally made it to your father’s place. He lived in an apartment complex similar to Jimin’s. It was run down and a bit shady, there were mysterious stains on the wall and you weren’t sure if you’d want to know their back stories.

He lived on the tenth floor in apartment 10J, the last door on the right.

Upon stopping in front of the door, you both stopped and held your breath. Maybe this was all wrong. Maybe your dad was in awful condition and seeing him would just tear you apart. Maybe he was an alcoholic asshole now and would tell Jimin to fuck off. Maybe, when Jimin knocked on that door, the man that answered wouldn’t even be your dad. Maybe you’re at the wrong apartment, or Seokjin tracked the wrong guy.

“I don’t have to knock, you know.” Said Jimin, he must have seen the anxiety swimming across your face. “I could just leave it on the doorstep.” You didn’t respond. Did you want him to knock? You weren’t really sure.

“Knock only if you feel comfortable knocking.” You told him.

“I’m comfortable with anything you want me to do.” He said. Of course he was being sweet and understanding, that didn’t really help you make your decision though. You kind of wished he just knocked without asking you, so you could rip this off, like a band aid.

“Just do it.” You spit out, handing covering your eyes as if you were watching a tense part of a horror movie. He did as told and lifted his fist to knock.

Jimin knocked a total of three times, and it took about ten seconds for somebody to open the door (not that you were counting). The door peeled back, and on the other side stood a pregnant woman. She looked a little older than what you’d expect a pregnant woman to look like, you guessed she was only a few years younger than your mom.

Your first thought upon seeing the woman was ‘oh my god, we’re at the wrong house. I still don’t know where my dad is and I’m probably never gonna see him again.’ You were prepared to live the rest of your after life never knowing what ever happened to your father.

“Can I help you?” The woman asked. Jimin looked disheartened as well, probably assuming the same things you were.

“Um..” He started. “Is there a Robert here?”

“Uh, yeah sure.” The woman said, confused. Both your faces picked up. Maybe your dad was here after all. “Robert! Honey!” The woman called out into her apartment.

“Coming!” Somebody yelled. You knew that voice. You haven’t heard it in so long, but it felt so good to hear it again. There were footsteps coming from the back of the apartment. They traveled towards the front, and stopped right behind the door.

Then there he was, you dad. He wasn’t an asshole alcoholic, nor did he look to be in any kind of awful condition. He looked radiant, like he was healthy and happy. Tears started to prick in your eyes. He looked the way he did during your childhood. In the last few years you were alive, your parent’s relationship was rocky. You remember him always looking disheveled and depressed.

“Yes?” Your dad asked. Jimin looked at you for confirmation, to check and make sure this really was your dad. You nodded at him, giving him the ‘go ahead’.

“Um, I have a package for you, sir.” He said, holding out the box towards your father. Your dad looked at the box and read the writing on the side that said ‘storage’.

“Who’s it from?” Your dad asked, taking the box from Jimin.

“Tell him it’s from me.” You said to Jimin through your soft cries.

“It’s- um- from your daughter, sir.” He said. Your dad stopped his movements and shot his head up to look at Jimin. He didn’t look angry or offended, just surprised.

“What?” He asked, shocked. The woman also looked stunned.

“S-she wanted you to have these things. I’m sorry they didn’t get to you earlier.” Jimin rubbed the back of his neck in awkwardness. He was just hoping the man wouldn’t get angry as to how and why he suddenly had a bunch of his dead daughter’s possessions.

“Were you a friend of hers?” The man asked, starting to form tears in his eyes as well.

“Um” Jimin started. He didn’t know how to answer that. Technically no, he wasn’t a friend of yours when you were alive, even though he was now. “Something like that. She’s very important to me though.” The man just nodded, deciding not to dive deeper into that explanation. Right now, all he was focused on was the fact that he had a piece of his daughter now. After the divorce, he never took anything from the old house. It was a decision he deeply regretted. He opened the box and found a bunch of your old stuff. Pictures, clothes, toys, journals, it was all there. On top of all those things lay the note you wrote to him. Your dad was really starting to cry now, which only made you cry harder.

“Thank you.” Said the man, through his sobs. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

“It was my pleasure.” Jimin said.

“Would you like to come in?” Said the woman standing beside your dad. “I have some cookies I just baked, and you could have some coffee if you’d like.”

“No no, it’s really fine.” Jimin said as politely as he possibly could. “I have to be somewhere, but I’m glad I could deliver this to you.”

“What was your name, son?” asked the man.

“Jimin.” He answered.

“Well, Jimin, if you need anything, you are more than welcome to come here anytime.” Said you dad.

“Thank you, sir.” He said with a nod.

And with that, Jimin said goodbye to the couple. The door closed and you and Jimin made your way out of the apartment building.

“Did you want me to stay?” He asked you.

“No, it’s fine.” You said with a smile. “What you did was more than enough.” You were so so happy, the happiest you’ve been since you’ve died. Your dad was happy, and he knew you loved him, and you knew he hadn’t forgotten about you. He also had a baby on the way. You were gonna be a big sister! Even if you weren’t alive, you just knew you were gonna protect that baby with everything you’ve got. 

Jimin looked at your face and smiled. He hadn’t realized it till now, but he’s never seen you smile like that before. You looked lighter and more radiant. To him, you looked stunning. Everything was worth it. If he had to fly across the whole world just to get that reaction out of you then he would in a heartbeat. He wouldn’t tell you that though, not yet anyways.

“I want to take you somewhere.” He said. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course.” You said. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. It’s not far.”

--------------------

The place Jimin wanted to take you was about a fifteen minute train ride. By the time you reached there, he only had a few edibles left. You just hoped you wouldn’t be there long, or else Jimin would be having a one sided conversation with himself once he sobered up.

The place he took you to was an abandoned building, or what was left of the building. Not much of the walls were there anymore, just the main structures and support beams, all of which were littered with writing, graffiti, and old bottles. You could see the inside of the building from the outside. It wasn’t ridiculously tall either, maybe about four stories high. The building was placed in the middle of an empty plot, away from the rest of the city. It was secluded and quiet there, like a little hiding place.

“This” Jimin said upon arriving at the place “is where me and the rest of the boys would come to hang out after school.” Every time you took a step, the tan dirt lifted up and scattered everywhere. You could understand why a bunch of teenagers would come to hang out here. If you knew about this place in your teen years, you probably would have come here too. “Follow me.”

You followed Jimin all the way up to the top floor, which wasn’t even a floor, it was the roof.

“Uh, Jimin.” You said when you looked over the top. “Is it even safe to be up this high?” You asked.

He chuckled, “You’re already dead, you know. If you fall it’s not gonna do anything.”

“I know” you smiled. “Doesn’t mean I’m still not scared.” The view from up there was very pretty, you must admit. You could see people from miles away, cars zooming that looked as tiny as ants. The sun was starting to set too, the sky looked like it was on fire. The world around you was painted in an orange hue, it was relaxing. Jimin walked over to the edge of the roof and dangled his feet over the side, looking out to the sunset. You decided to join him. You copied his movements, and dangled your feet over the side as well.

“Me and Jungkook used to sit here a lot, most of the time to smoke.” He said. You almost forgot about today’s events with Jungkook. You felt like such an asshole now. You’ve been in a good mood since you saw your father, you almost forgot that this was probably the worst day of Jimin’s life. “Sometimes,” he huffed “he’d talk to me about skipping town. He wanted to make music, you know. He was so fucking good at it too.” Tears started welling up in his eyes again, he looked down at his hands and watched himself play with his fingers. “That kid was really supposed to be something great, I just know it.” You just sat and listened, there wasn’t really anything you could say to make him feel better. You figured the best thing was to do was to just let him speak his mind. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to protect that kid from becoming exactly the thing he became. When I realized it was hopeless, I just gave up all together.” He looked over at you and gave you a sad smile. “I didn’t just give up on him though, I gave up on myself.”

You shook your head, apologetically. “I’m so sorry. I really am, I wish I could make things better for you.” Jimin looked back out towards the sunset. You don’t know why you decided to do it, but you leaned your body against his side and leaned your head on his shoulder. You knew he couldn’t feel it, you could only faintly feel him. You wanted so much more of him, but you knew you couldn’t have it. Making yourself do these things only tortured you more, but you didn’t really care.

“But that’s the thing.” He said. “You did make it better. I was so lonely before you showed up, Y/N.” He extended his palm, signalling you to put your hand in his. You didn’t understand why, he wouldn’t feel anything, but you did it regardless.

Jimin wanted to feel you so bad, it was painful. He needed to feel you. He couldn’t stop thinking about that one millisecond of a moment he felt your hand. You were so warm, so inviting. He’s never felt anything like it in all his life. He would feel it again, he was certain. He would make sure of it.

“You’re not going to like this.” He said, suddenly. You picked your head off from off his shoulder.

“Like what?”

“What I’m going to do next.” Jimin then stood up, dangerously close to the edge of the building. You thought for a second he was going to jump, and you chuckled a bit in disbelief. He didn’t move though, he kept standing alarmingly close to the edge.

“Jimin?” You questioned. He didn’t look at you, only straight ahead. “Jimin, you’re scaring me.” He still didn’t respond. You were starting to feel the anxiety settle in now. He wouldn’t actually jump would he? You stood up too, too afraid to just sit and watch. “Jimin!” You shouted, trying to get his attention. You tried pulling him backwards, but of course that did nothing. It only barely tugged his sleeve a little. It was enough to get him to look back at you.

“Tell me why I shouldn't.” He stated, swallowing on his words a bit.

“Your friends, they love you and they just lost Jungkook. They need you right now.”

“No, they don’t. They’ve been just fine without me. Ever since I stopped going to hang out with them, they’ve just carried on with their lives. They barely even called to see if I was okay.” Tears were streaming down both your faces now. You were scared he was gonna die, and he was begging you to let him do it. “The only thing I care about right now is you. I can’t feel you and it’s driving me insane!”

“Jimin, you can’t do this! Not for me!”

“Why not! Everything you’ve done these last few days has all been for me! You could’ve went anywhere in the world, done anything you fucking wanted to, but you came back to me simply because I asked you to. You’ve cared more about me in this short time that we’ve had together, than anybody ever has in my entire life.” “That’s not true and you know that!” You shouted. “The boys love you and-”

“Yeah well I love you!” And there it was, that thing that’s been unspoken between you two. Nobody dared to admit it until now. You’d only known him a couple of days but you’ve never really known what it was like to be in love till now.

“And I love you too,” you said, finally allowing yourself to admit it “which is exactly why I’m begging you to step away from the ledge.” Jimin looked down at the ground. Yes, the building wasn’t the tallest structure out there, but a fall from this height is certainly life threatening. For a moment, he actually considered not jumping. Maybe it would be best to just push through the next couple of days.

The thing is though, Jimin had already made up his mind, even before Jungkook had died, and even before he had met you. He knew he wanted to be with you, and he knew this moment would come eventually, he just didn’t realize it’d come so soon. He’s had plans to jump from here for a while now, and you were just another pro he added to the list. Right now, you were the only factor that mattered to him, and everything in his body was screaming at him to do it. Plus, you told him you loved him. How was he supposed to back out now?

“I’m sorry.” He said.

You tried to pull him back, you really did, but he was an unstoppable force.

You wrapped your hands around his waist, but it only pulled you down with him.

You both fell, the only difference is, you’re already dead.

--------------------

You and Jimin both stood over his body, which now lay bloody and lifeless on the ground. Turns out there was a broken bottle conveniently placed right where his head landed. There’s no way anybody could have survived that.

You need a moment to process what just happened. One minute, you were having a cute moment, watching the sunset. The next, you’re reliving the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to you. There were two Jimins in front of you now, and one was looking at the other like he was gonna throw up.

You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do now, all you could do was cry and hyperventilate. You were hyperventilating so loud, you almost didn’t notice Jimin was hyperventilating twice as much. Once you noticed he was severely freaking out, you rushed over to him.

“Don’t look.” You told him. When you first saw your body, the more you looked at it the more surreal everything was, and the more freaked out you became. “Don’t look at it.” You reached over to where he was standing, and stood as close to him as possible. You could feel his warmth so much better now, and it was a little fucked up that you were loving it. He had just killed himself, you couldn’t think about that right now. “Just look at me.” He didn’t look at you though, he just kept staring at his own dead body. “Jimin,” you said calmly “look at me, please.” You touched your hand to his check, just like you did earlier that day. This time, you really felt him though. Not faintly, but fully.

 He felt you too, and once he did, he felt like it was all worth it. He looked at you, finally. The more he stared at you, the more his breathing slowed. There were a few times he’d try to avert his eyes back to his body, but you pulled his face back towards your direction.

“Just look at me, okay?” he nodded in response. You felt so good, so safe. He was still realizing the weight of his actions, only realizing now he didn’t really want to die. The thought of his friends receiving the news of his death ate away at the back of his mind. The guilt was weight on his chest.

He didn’t want to think about that now though, not when he could see you so clearly, clearer than he could before. Before, he thought you were stunning, now he thought you looked ethereal. Your touch was intoxicating too. He reached up his hand to where yours cupped his face, and let his hand rest over yours.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin finally said. You rubbed your thumb against his cheek, which prompted him to nuzzle his face further into your hand. His sobs started picking up again.

“It’s okay.” You soothed. “You’re okay.” You moved to hug him, something you’ve wanted to do for so long. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and he wasted no time wrapping his around your waist. He sobbed quietly into your neck while you raked your hands through his hair. You discovered then that you loved to touch him, you just wished you made this discovery under better circumstances.

You kissed his cheek. You don’t know why you did that, it just felt right. It shocked him, he wasn’t expecting you to do that. He picked his head up off your shoulder to look at you.

Your foreheads touched

And soon after your lips

Your unfinished business now was Jimin. 

Until he completed his unfinished business, you couldn’t move on. 

Not without him.

---

“Eternity wouldn’t be so bad, as long as I got to spend it with you....”

[satelitesdejupiter]

Boreas

Summary:

Boreas: the north wind that brings winter.

.

.

Prompt: What if Mikasa had been kidnapped and bought by a rich lord, who raised her in a dome, meeting Eren at 19y.

Chapter 1: Winter

The first time he heard her, she was at the piano.

The meeting to discuss the establishment of the clinic had become an unproductive chatter after three quarters of the bottle of whiskey.

Grisha was not as strong for drinking as he was, and barely blinked when their three partners shifted the subject of investing in the necessary infrastructure to matters relating to their personal assets, women and gambling.

A game of trickery had started when he stood up uneasily, his head aching. He had spent the last few days adjusting every detail of the budget needed so that it didn't end in a night. He got up with the excuse of going to the toilet, and as soon as he reached the indicated place, he tried to relieve the tension with water on his face. He had so much to resolve.

Paradis was lagging behind. Bringing advances in materials, medicines and treatments known on the continent was a challenge. Consolidating that society was the best chance to break with technological stagnation.

That was it.

He had to remain patient.

He wiped his hands and left, listening to a familiar melody from a distance. He approached the stairs, trying to recognize the notes that were being played in a pleasant cadence.

Unconsciously he climbed a step or two to get closer, and when he realized how invasive he was to be inviting himself to a more private area of a stranger's house, he returned to the drawing room.

"Young Yeagar, I waited for you, but you took too long and we started another match," his host justified waving his glass of whiskey.

Sandes was a tall and haughty man with blond hair tucked at the level of his ears, what favored the framing of his angular face and made him look youthful, even though he was close to forty.

"Okay, I got distracted by a song from up there."

Sandes offered a wan smile "It must be the servants playing the piano".

"It must be someone with knowledge, in addition, she had a  beautiful tone."

The eyes of his other partner, Rotchford, darted between them.

Sandes's hand tightened on the glass “Effect of alcohol. Take a little more with me” he indicated to sit down.

"You can't meddle in a man's secrets," Ruthford mocked with the cigarette between his lips and Eren sat down, pouring himself a whiskey, choosing not to dwell on it.

The night turned out to be a long one, with more card games and even betting. Eren tried to concentrate, but when he said goodbye, the sound of that melancholy melody still hadn't left his mind.

xxx

Eren Yeager was a man of science. Myths, fallacies and legends of ghosts had no place in his world of logic and study.

On other occasions when he visited Sandes' mansion he always saw the attic light on, just as there was routinely the sound of sad music coming from a room on the first floor. He even asked Grisha if he knew about anyone else living with the lord of the mines, however he replied that it was not known to him that he had family or aggregates outside of Mitras.

He chose not to mention it any more, but his curiosity was still piqued. And that did not go unnoticed by Rotchford.

He was at the solstice lunch organized by Sandes when the minority partner caught him watching the attic window.

"Sometimes I also expect her to show up, Yeager."

Eren looked at him questioningly, but he just returned it with a discreet little laugh "But don't get too excited, I hope the day he gets tired of her for years".

The doctor waved at the partner with growing discomfort and after a few more drinks he said goodbye claiming to have a family commitment. Which was true, since Carla enjoyed getting the family together at the time.

Only a few days later he finally saw her.

She was at the piano playing a tense melody. "It's the less devastating  thing I've ever seen you play, and yet ...", he said as soon as he entered the room, moved by the curiosity of weeks.

He couldn't see her face, but by the silhouette at the piano she was dressed well, white and fine cloth robes marked her thin body and made sure she was not a maid.

Despite making sure she heard  him, she did not answer and continued to play, the notes increasingly aggressive, loaded. Not wanting to give the impression that he just came in through sheer intrusion and lack of education, he decided to justify his sudden entry, but before he could, her voice overlapped the melody.

“Summer is neither sad nor happy. Just raw. The sun can be exhausting, good times precede bad and there is no summer without storms. ”

She continued to play as if he hadn't interrupted her, perhaps waiting for him to withdraw, and he even thought, but it turned out that she was good.

He listened until the end and when she passed the score she stopped a few seconds before starting again.

He decided to apologize.

"I'm going to leave, I just came in ..."

"Curiosity," she stopped playing, turning to him.

Her face was delicate, shaped by short, dark threads. Her rosy, well-designed lips stood out on her fair skin, and together with her dark curved eyes and sharp apples, she gave her a beauty hard to compare to any woman he had ever met.

"Yes. My name is Eren Yeager ”.

"Doctor Yeager's son."

"Do you know my father?"

"Everyone knows Dr. Yeager"

Eren can only agree. His father was known and respected on the three walls. He was even a trusted doctor of the royal family, despite refusing any official position, he was always required in special cases.

"Do you mind if I hear some more?"

"Sandes will kill you," she turned, playing again.

" Why would he do that”?

"You are smarter than that."

"If you don't mind, then I'll stay."

"At your own risk."

xxx

A few more days passed before Sandes arranged another meeting. The previous one had been canceled due to something unforeseen, which allowed him to spend more time listening to Mikasa. That was his name. It sounded familiar, as if he had heard it a long time ago, though unusual. They didn't speak much that afternoon, and he heard her until one of the servants went over the message.

He must have been very busy, since he warned that he would be late again.

When he crossed the garden, he saw Mikasa again. She was leaning back in her chair, eyes closed, her skin illuminated by these was approaching, dhe opened her eyes.

"Eren" she greeted and he accepted that informality without strangeness. Her first name sounded good on her lips.

"You did that?" he pointed to an embroidered cloth on the chair beside her. There was thread and needles on the table.

She acquiesced, "There is not much to do here."

"It's very beautiful. My mom would be in love. She likes these things. ”

"You can take it to her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I do one of these in a couple of hours," she declared with disinterest.

“If you are so fast, you should sell your talent”, he took the carefully worked fabric. Carla would like the gift, "It is very well done".

A line that made up her millimeter-blank face fell away, and she looked at the fabric.

“I'm not that good, my mother was. There was a bridal shop that only bought her work” Mikasa said in a soft voice, as if she had lost herself in a very pleasant old memory.

"What about your father?" Eren asked, assuming she didn't have. No father would let such a young daughter live as a man's lover, even if he was wealthy.

"He hunted, fished, planted ... We lived a very secluded life."

Eren almost invited himself to hear more, but his intention was suspended.

"Yeager," Sandes greeted him approaching and Mikasa stood up, looking at him tensely,"I'm sorry I'm late, some appointments have busy me".

"Okay, I just arrived."

"Mikasa, get in" he ordered in a low tone, however, a vein popped out of his temple.

She looked at him hesitantly, but swallowed, disappearing between the pillars of the mansion's hall.

With her departure, Sandes soon invited him to sit down. He treated him with cordiality, offered him a wine, heard about the planning of hiring and purchasing equipment, but there was also an impatience, the trace of animosity in his tone was almost palpable. In some moments his attention went to the attic. Eren feared he had  causing trouble for her.

"Mikasa was embroidering when I arrived, she hadn't even noticed me," he commented after a while, interested in leaving no room for any misinterpretation.

Sandes took the glass of white wine and shook it, "I am a great wine lover, Yeager. A cheap can be used to have fun and kill time, but the good ones ... those worth being appreciated take time. They're expensive. Believe me, once you put your hand in a really good, really good bottle, you don't want to share it. "

Eren's fist clenched, and he felt disgust. Hate.

He had fought several times in his life, his parents were the greatest witnesses, but he never felt such contempt and the desire to dislocate someone's jaw. Sandes, if he was aware of his intention, did not show it.

"Mikasa" he pointed out as if he censored the fact that he brought his name, "it's my business. We can keep the good terms if we respect this restriction".

"Whatever".

Sandes smiled with satisfaction.

xxx

On occasions he chose to be more careful. He doubled the requests for meetings and excuses to show up at the house. He arrived a little earlier or did not actually leave until he was due, and he was always careful not to be seen.

She was always in the music room or in the greenhouse, where he once saw her come in from a distance and followed her, as in an unspoken agreement about where it would be more discreet to see each other.

She did not speak much, spent most of her time playing, or embroidering, but she was an attentive listener. She didn't forget any details about his parents or Armin. Once she gave Carla a curtain with delicate embroidery of peonies, just because he commented that they were one of her favorite flowers. In fact, Mikasa was always more open when he talked about the family, and sometimes she would let something out about her own parents. They had been very loving for what it seemed.

However, Mikasa did not allow him to probe her past too much, every time he went in that direction, she became evasive, and he was afraid to push it further away.

It was a mined area and one day it was inevitable to cross it.

It happened when she played Spring and he talked about Armin's longstanding plan to see the sea. His busy schedule had never allowed it.

"I wish you were with me," he said without knowing what he expected.

She offered him a sad smile. Like a child saying that she cannot .

She had never smiled at him, and the first was one that wasn't even genuine.

"I don't know how you can live here, like a bird in a cage."

“I don't live” she continued to play, “Sometimes I think I died here. That I died a long time ago. This would be just the place that I  haunt. That after all  there is nothing out there for me. ”

“You look very alive to me. What is wrong with you?"

She stopped playing.

"Eren, my life cannot be fixed by you or your good intentions."

"And about you?"

She kept her eyes down.

"Do you want to spend the rest of your days locked up here?" he insisted wanting a reaction.

Mikasa looked at him. A hard and impenetrable look.

“I am a harlot, Yeager. This is just a small kingdom palace, but enough for me. Maybe one day I want a bigger one, but it won't be on a trip to the beach that I will get it ”.

Eren held his incredulous look, "Mikasa ..."

"Do not come back".

No more words could be said. When he closed the room doors behind him, he heard the sound of Winter.

xxx

She played that day until her hands didn't want to respond.

What was she doing?

She couldn't drag him into her cursed life. That was her burden.

It was so easy to let him get closer. Be invaded by his presence.

One day she didn't even know him, the next he seemed to be everywhere. She spent the week waiting for him to show up. The expectation of seeing him started to fill his days. It was ... a feeling that had no place in that world.

"Sing for me," Sandes asked dismissing her effort to ignore his presence since he entered the room.

"My throat is not good," she made a sharp sequence.

"One won't hurt, I need some relaxing music."

"You can turn on the phonograph."

He got up from his chair.

“Mikasa, what are you missing? I do everything to please you, and you can't sing a song for me? ”

"I was only offering options, I can't sing."

He sat next to her and closed the keyboard.

“You can't obey me, that's the problem. I ask you to let your hair grow and it appears even shorter. I ask you to stay in your quarters when I receive visitors and catch you giving confidence to strangers.” His fingers touched her face and she looked away.

"No, no" she repelled his touch and he pulled her closer. "I will no longer accept your disdain."

Mikasa held his gaze and he loosened his grip.

“Sing”, he opened the keyboard and went to sit in the previous place.

Mikasa nodded, her expression charged with bitter perception.

It was Winter.

She had to walk carefully on the ice.

Then she sang, sweet and smooth like a bird in a cage.

[zanth-i]

Bonjour-Hi! I was born and raised in Montreal. But I don’t quite belong.

Because speaking a language is not the same as having a voice.

Here’s a story that may resonate with many first-generation immigrants. We may be born in Canada, but because our parents weren’t, we’re not considered bona fide Canadians, and our ethnic upbringing does little to wean us as such. We’re raised with pride for our heritage and develop everlasting patriotism — for our parents’ country of origin. We’re the quasi Canadians, well aware that with every passing generation, we become, well, more Canadian. But even so, one’s roots are not easily forgotten, if ever. Cultural indoctrination has proven its permanency.

So why is it that in a seemingly open-minded city where I’m free to live true to my heritage, I often feel like I don’t belong?

I was born in the late ’70s to Greek parents in Montreal, Quebec. My parents settled here in the mid-’60s. They’d planned on staying for 5 years but stayed for more than 50 (and it’s surely not because they couldn’t resist the good weather). They spent most of their life in this city because it became their home. My late mother always said that she had two motherlands: the one where she was born and lived as a young girl, and the other where she grew and lived as a grown woman. My father still stands by their decision to move here, though wishes they’d retired there (something to do with the weather, again).

While my parents faced many challenges and weren’t always greeted with a welcoming smile, I’d like to center this piece on some of my reflections on being raised Greek in a French Canadian province.

Like most immigrants, my parents held on tight to their traditions. As they began to settle into the city, ex-pats came together and gave rise to Greek media, educational, social, and religious institutions. And of course, they introduced Montrealers to Greek food.

Us kids, we inevitably made friends with our kind and upheld such a strong sense of community so immersive that our “Xeni” (foreign) friends would eventually “turn Greek” and become all too familiarized with our way of life. We’d speak English amongst ourselves (sometimes Greek), but Greek with our parents (sometimes English). And if not every year, every other year, as kids, many of us spent our summers off at our respective parents’ birthplace, “back home” in Greece, visiting our grandparents. As adults, many of us still make it a point to return and often. And we still unreservedly boast about our beautiful motherland.

While my parents made sure I spoke Greek fluently and knew my roots well, they were adamant about me learning to speak French, as “this was the language of the future in Quebec” my mother would counsel. So when I was 7, she pulled me out of the Greek educational system asserting that their French curriculum wasn’t sufficiently robust, and instead put me in an all-french school, where I experienced major culture shock. And to accelerate my learning (along with my shock), she also signed me up for French swimming lessons, French scouts, and French camp. Oh, and I was only allowed French tv and was to speak to my big sister exclusively in French, for a whole year. As you gather, she lent high importance to the French language, and I in turn learned to speak it fluently, and also to eventually forgive my mother for her militant (but in the end effective) ways.

Now — while I love speaking in French — I find myself consciously choosing to say hello rather than bonjour. Largely because I feel we’ve taken the language policing too far. For this, I direct my disappointment to the Office Québécois de la langue Française (OQLF) whose efforts may be well-intentioned but I feel are misplaced. And the Coalition Avenir Québec’s recent decision to inject funds into the OQLF especially during a pandemic while we’re literally fighting for our lives is a bitter reminder of the powerful provincialism we’re regularly faced with. It’s no longer about speaking French, it’s become about not speaking English. And to then have the minister responsible for the French language in Quebec say that this “is not against English institutions,” and “we can do both — respect English institutions but also respect French in our society” is playing offense.

Without making this article about the laws of the OQLF, it will suffice to say that the laws along with the board were created out of fear that the French language would go extinct in Quebec. That said, it’s important to note that the French hold a majority in Quebec. But their concern with having their heritage eclipsed, nods to the anglophone/allophone influential minority. Also to consider is that Quebec (begrudgingly to some) is in Canada, where anglophones are of majority. Naturally, in came the language laws with the mission to protect the French language in a primarily English-speaking nation. It’s only natural to want to secure your kind and colony.

For those of you that don’t live here, I want to clarify: No one will arrest or fine you for speaking in whatever language you wish amongst your friends and family. It’s when you seek to operate professionally — as an employee or business owner — , and seek service of any kind that things get sticky. Businesses are subjected to fines if they don’t abide by the language rules. And people are subjected to discrimination, plain and simple. French fanatics will not literally convict you, cuff you, and lock you up for not speaking French, it just feels that way.

I believe it is moot point to argue historical events and statistics in an attempt to prove or disprove the language laws, because in the end what matters most is people’s current state of mind and wellbeing. And if Black Lives Matter has taught us anything, it’s that history often needs a rethink, and room for redemption. With that in mind, our elected leaders and citizens of this province should be asking themselves “how do yesteryear laws continue to serve us?”

I understand that the French want to maintain their heritage in Quebec — it’s really the same for everyone settling onto any land. But I feel our Provincial government is stirring up a storm only to later justify its self-serving plebiscite.

If their true intent is to segregate the citizens of this province, I suspect that things will worsen with time and anglophones/allophones will eventually protest and march with #OurVoiceMatters banners in hand.

Some of my Francophone friends that are here fresh from France complain of being picked on for their accent. Some anglo/allophone friends often cope with disapproving glares for speaking in their mother tongue. And some of my pure laine friends think anglos are arrogant and dismissive of Quebec language and culture. If none of this resonates with you and you feel that there’s no race problem in Quebec, you’re likely part of the problem.

I remember wishing a francophone a happy Canada day (in French) and being met with a dry “I don’t celebrate that” as she handed me the flowers I’d just purchased from her shop at the Atwater market. And such racist and discriminatory occurrences are constant in everyday life here. Especially online where you’ll find no shortage of Anglophones complaining about some language-related fines, and Francophones coming to the OQLF’s defense, leaving low-brow remarks ordering anglos to pack up and leave if they don’t like it.

Here’s the thing, as a first-generation immigrant, I can assure you that just because I speak the French language doesn’t mean that I’ve given French-Quebec culture a voice.

If I was born to Greek parents in Montreal, QC, Canada, what is my country of origin?

My name is a dead giveaway of my ethnic background. When I’m asked where I’m from, I’m reminded of the struggle between being born somewhere but *really* originally being from somewhere else.

Being born in Quebec doesn’t make me a Québecoise any more than being born at the Jewish general hospital doesn’t make me Jewish.

Ironically, in Greece, I’m called a foreigner. Growing up Greek in Montreal, is not the same as growing up Greek in Greece. Goes to show how culture unavoidably breeds bias and immigration ushers it along.

Consider the saying “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”

So when in Quebec, do as…whom?

Think of the last time you traveled and how you were absorbed by the culture and became enchanted with their way of life. Now consider someone traveling here. What are they absorbing and experiencing?

Most say they love our multicultural vibe. And this perhaps defines Quebec culture — our hodgepodge of many cultures. And so making sure everyone speaks French or else, does very little to raise and cultivate the French-Quebec culture. Hence SNL’s latest ‘bonjour-hi’ skit, a spoof that caused upset amongst Quebecers especially francophones, that Bowen Yang issued an “apology” for missing the mark.

Many are unacquainted with Quebec heritage and culture because its people are preocupied with language correction, instead of cultural connection.

I humbly suggest they stop staring at the tree and instead take notice of the forest. Culture is more than language. It takes a lot more to maintain heritage and identity. This language battle only speaks to cultural impotence. Ask any immigrant who has no language charters and laws in place to secure their language and identity, but still has managed to preserve them. A powerful culture speaks for itself, in whatever language it chooses and its pull is so great, that you don’t resist. So instead of focusing on condemning each other for our differences, let’s start exploring how those differences make us fundamentally the same. What binds us will bond us.

I propose we start with the following statement.

#JeSuisQuebecois(e)Parceque…?

[jbhoneydew]

My first attempt at writing something M*A*S*H related, or writing anything in years. Please message me if you have any suggestions! I might post this to AO3 later.

The 4077th is faced with another cold, winter night and BJ isn’t handling the cold-snap too well. Hawkeye is there to help him out. (2.2K words)

(References to Baby Its Cold Outside (7x10) & Mail Call (2x23) )

__________________________________________________________

“Attention all personnel! Bundle up and grab some coffee in the mess while it lasts. It’s going to be a cold one tonight, folks!”

The bitter wind whipped in the air that would send a strong shiver down one’s spine. It seemed like yesterday the camp was soaking in the rays of the warm summer sun, but those days were long gone.

Time flies when you waste your days doing meatball surgery on wounded men and boys from the front lines - hoping they’ll live to see another day.

It was now the middle of November and the 4077th mobile hospital in Uijeongbu, South Korea was faced with a premature winter storm. The forecast called for flurries, strong winds, and below freezing temperatures that were not welcomed by the unit.

It was the second winter blast of the week and supplies were now low in stock. Extra blankets were non-existent in the supply room. They were either wrapped around patients in post-op or wrapped around the personnel like mummies. Firewood was also scarce due to the last storm. This left the unit scrambling to find supplies they would need to keep themselves warm. 

The unlucky personnel would have to find other means of warmth.

____________________________________________________________

Hawkeye sprinted across the compound towards the Swamp. He just finished his evening post-op shift and Charles had finally arrived to relieve him after being 20 minutes late. Hawk was bundled up from head to toe with his arms wrapped tightly around himself to preserve body head as he ran, a few curse words escaping his lips. The cold air was biting at his exposed face and all he wanted to do was curl up next to the furnace and sleep. 

He finally made it to the Swamp and swung the door open, practically throwing himself inside. 

“Hawk, the door!” His bunk-mate BJ greeted him from his own cot, trying to shield himself away from the bitter cold wind Hawkeye let in by burrowing deeper into his blanket.

“I got it, Beej. Cool it.” he muttered as he slammed the door shut. 

“Mother Nature beat me to it.” muttered BJ as he adjusted the army-issued toque on his head. His teeth chattering in the process. The winter storm was making him miserable. He wasn’t used to the sub-zero temperatures in Korea. It was a new concept.

Before being drafted, he spent his entire life living in California and rarely had to worry about being cold. Living in Korea for the past year  reminded him that not everywhere was sunny and warm like California. He knew it would be cold - but the draft board didn’t tell him it would be this cold.

Hawk wrapped the blanket on his cot around himself and crouched down in the middle of the tent where the gas stove usually was. He raised his hands out in front of it, expecting it to warm his cold and tired body.

He raised an eyebrow when he realized no heat emitted from the unit. He then realized the gas stove was missing. 

“Don’t tell me i’m going crazy. Could’ve sworn we had a gas stove in here. ” Hawk said in confusion. 

“We did, until about 10 minutes ago. Radar took it. He said post-op needs all the gas stoves they can find to keep the patients warm.” explained BJ as he shivered in his bunk. “The last time he did it, I hid his glasses in the meat-loaf. I think i’ll hide them in the latrine this time.” 

“This is just perfect.” Hawk said sarcastically. He stood up and paced around the tent in an attempt to keep himself warm without the gas stove.

“I’m already frozen from my head down to my toes and our good friend, Chuckles, is now sitting in post-op probably bathing in the warmth of OUR gas stove. Now we’re stuck here to freeze our butts off in this flimsy tent!” Hawkeye ranted. “He could’ve at least left his ugly polar suit or gloves to keep us warm! That little-” 

Hawk stopped himself when his eyes landed on BJ for a second time, noticing something different.

“Wait a minute….Is that my sweater?” 

“Mhm.” BJ mumbled as he lifted the collar of the sweater up to keep his neck warm.

The navy blue wool sweater his dad sent him last year was currently wrapped around BJ’s semi-slim frame, the collar of the fabric peeking out from under his olive green coat.

“First you steal my socks, and now my sweater. What’s next? My pants?”

“I was cold and I found it under your cot. You can have it back if you want if you want.” BJ replied as he began to undo the top buttons of the sweater.

“No, no.” Hawk replied as he placed a hand on BJ’s shoulder. “Keep it. I’m just kidding.”

“You sure?” BJ paused. 

“Yeah...it’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes. Not just my socks this time.” 

“Good. Because it’s very warm. Tell your dad I said thanks.”

“Your regards will be in my next letter to Crabapple Cove. Dad will appreciate it.”

“You know..I wish Peg thought of sending me a sweater. Instead she sent more rum cookies instead of something warm to wear. This is Korea we’re talking about. It’s freezing.” BJ half-joked.

“Keep it, Beej. I mean it. Besides, you look really good in my sweater.” 

BJ raised an eyebrow at him. “How can you tell?” 

“Just trust me. You look good.” he winked. 

Hawk laid down on his cot, pulling the thin army-issued blanket over his body to block out the frigid air with little success. He was cold, tired, and all he wanted to do was sleep. 

Hawk turned onto his side towards BJ. He was now sitting up in his bunk, his legs pulled towards his chest with his blanket wrapped around himself. He felt sympathetic for his younger bunk mate. He knew BJ wasn’t experienced in handling cold snaps unlike himself; who grew up in Maine and experienced cold snaps like this every winter.

He watched BJ pick up his most recent letter from Peg that sat on his footlocker and read it for what seemed like the fifth time this week. 

“Can’t get enough of that letter, huh?” Hawk asked, letting out a yawn. 

“Huh? Oh yeah. Keeps my mind off the cold.” BJ replied as he shivered again. 

“What’s new in Mill Valley?”

“She says that they had six warm days in a row. In fact, it was so nice she and my parents took Erin to San Francisco for the day. It says that Erin’s favorite part of the trip was seeing the Golden Gate Bridge. It says ‘I wish you were here to see it, BJ. Her eyes lit up like she was handed the moon. It was the cutest thing i’ve seen.’ Damn. I should’ve been there to see it too. I miss the warmth of San Francisco but instead I'm here about to catch hypothermia.”

“You will be there, Beej. We’ll get out of this dump. It won’t last forever.”

“The peace talks say otherwise.”

“Listen to me.” Hawk said as he raised his head from his pillow. “I will personally march myself up to MacArthur’s doorstep to personally stop this war if I have too. Just for you. You’ll make it out of here in one piece and you’ll see your wife and kid again. You’ll be back in sunny California in no time, and then you can come visit me in Crabapple Cove anytime you wish.”

“Who says i’ll visit?” he teased. 

“Says me. It’s only been a year but we’ve been through hell and back together. This isn’t a bond that can be thrown away once this war is over and we all go home. Trapper left without saying goodbye before you showed up and I haven’t heard a word from him since. I’m not letting you do the same. Besides, how am I supposed to live without Peg’s baking? It’s to die for.” he explained. He knew he was rambling on to BJ but he didn’t care - he needed a distraction from the cold.

“It’s a deal, Hawk.” BJ smiled, placing the letter back on his footlocker. He was lucky to have met Hawkeye, even in one of the worst circumstances possible. It was the only luck he seemed to have since he was drafted.

BJ laid down on his cot again and curled up onto his side.“I have post-op in the morning, see ya then, if we survive the night.” he said as he closed his eyes.

“Night BJ, don’t let the frost-bite get ya.”

BJ grinned. “Yes mom. Goodnight, Hawk.”

____________________________________________________________________________

A particularly strong gust of wind blew against the tent, waking Hawkeye in the process. It felt like the temperature dropped another ten degrees in the matter of hours. He was about to tug his blanket over his head when he heard someone’s teeth chattering. Hawk lifted his head up and noticed BJ visibly shiver in his cot. 

“Beej? You alright?” he half-whispered to him, wondering if he was awake or not.

He didn’t get a response for a few moments until BJ popped his head out from under his blanket. 

“Yeah. Just cold. Go back to sleep.” he mumbled as his teeth chattered more.

Hawk shook his head. Sleep was now a lost cause for Hawk at this point. The cold temperature and howling wind now made it nearly impossible.

Hawk was concerned for his friend who was shivering on the other side of the tent. He knew that he was having a tough time dealing with the frigid cold. It would’ve been a lot easier if the gas stove was here, but they sacrificed it for the patients.

Suddenly, he had an idea to help both of them. 

Hawk wrapped his blanket around himself and made his way over to BJ’s cot.

“Move over, Beej.” Hawk mumbled to the younger man, who moved over as much as he could without a complaint.

Hawk settled himself half on top of BJ and wrapped his arms around the younger man, their legs becoming entangled in one another. He then threw his blanket over top both of them.

“What’re you doin’?” BJ mumbled half-asleep, his teeth chattering once again.

“You’re shivering, so I’m keeping you warm. Damn it, BJ. You’re like an icicle.”

“Mmm. And you’re like a personal body heater”

“Glad I can be useful,” he smiled. “Come here.”

Hawk pulled BJ even closer to him, if it was even possible, and rubbed his arm gently in an attempt to warm him up.

They laid in silence for a while. They eventually rolled onto their sides and had their arms wrapped tightly around each other. BJ rested his forehead against Hawkeye’s shoulder, who had his chin rested on top of BJ’s head. They both fit perfectly in eachothers arms. Hawk smiled when he noticed BJ’s shivering had died down.

“Hawk?”

“Mhm?”

“Thanks for this. Feeling warmer already.”

“No problem, Beej. I’m here for you. No matter what. We’ll get through this.” 

They both fell asleep moments later, the storm already long forgotten as they curled up in eachothers arms.

—————————————————-------------------------------------------------

“Captain Pierce! Captain Hunnicutt! You in there?”

The swamp door creaked open, allowing the morning sunlight to illuminate the tent, and Radar timidly stepped inside the tent.

“Oh good. There you are, sirs.”

He found Hawkeye and BJ cuddled up together on one cot in the back right corner of the tent. BJ was snoring softly, dead to the world. His arms were wrapped tightly around Hawkeye like an octopus and his cheek was resting against his shoulder.

“Radar? What is it?” Hawkeye suddenly asked, startling the young corporel. 

“I’m sorry sirs but Winchester told me to tell you that he wants Captain Hunnicutt in post-op right away. He’s supposed to cover for him and he’s already 10 minutes late.”

“Hmm. Five more minutes.” 

“But sir-“

“I said five more minutes, Radar. I’ll make it an order if I have too.” 

Radar stared at them with his mouth opened slightly and huffed.

“Oh boy. You’re gonna owe Winchester for this. He’s already on my back as it is and I'm not the one who's late!” 

“Go, Radar. We’ll be there soon. I’ll leave last month’s volleyball nudes under your door for you if you tell Winchester to wait a few more minutes.” Hawk smiled.

“Yes sir!” and Radar was gone seconds later.

Hawk then turned his attention back to BJ. He didn’t have the heart to wake him up. He looked so peaceful curled up in his arms and honestly - it felt nice. 

Sure, Hawk spent the night with many of the nurses on the compound and girls back in his hometown but BJ was different. There was something about another man laying against him, seeking comfort that Hawk was more than willing to provide. He realized that he liked taking care of BJ. 

Hawk ran a hand through BJ’s hair and sighed happily. He could get used to this. For the first time in his life, he wished for more wintery cold nights like this. 

[blueoswin]

La lune à 3h du mat

Summary :When he was little, around three years old, Lucas watched, fascinated, his mother writing diligently in a little notebook, humming contently,a peaceful smile on her face Only years later did he stumbled upon the new addition in the notebook. “ I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people” He hadn't fully comprehend it at the time but it felt important somehow. The quote comes to his mind now, caught in an argument with Eliott,  in their tiny apartment,the summer heat clinging to their skin along with their frustration

. Lucas jolts awake, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, only then he hears the noise of his annoying ringtone. Still in a daze he answers.

“ Lucas baaabyyyyy I miss youuuuu!” 

Or : Lucas and Eliott got into a fight and Eliott drunk calls him.

//

"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people"

When he was little, around three years old, Lucas watched, fascinated, his mother writing diligently in a little notebook, humming contently,a peaceful smile on her face. She looked so close yet so out of reach in moments like this,the setting sun shining on her blond hair, casting a golden halo around her. Years later, his curiosity getting the best of him, he opened that notebook. He didn't know how to read but little Lucas wasn't dumb. He could recognise beautiful words when he saw them. After all he was a grown up now, 5 years old are almost adults. Yann told him ! But it didn't stop the feeling of guilt expanding in his chest when his mom caught him, standing up on a chair to reach the desk, notebook open to a random page in front of him. However, his mom didn't scold him like he had expected ( he had already been making up apologies in his head), no his mom only let out a little huff, sparks of amusement dancing in her eyes as she watched the scene unfold from where she stood, leaning on the doorframe. He had watched her come closer, eyes round, heart thumping loudly  in his chest. She ran a soft hand through his hair, taking his little body in her arms before sitting on the chair Lucas was previously standing on. Sitting on his lap, he was mesmerized by the sight of her long fingers caressing the thick paper of the notebook.

“You chose a good page darling”

She smiled at him proudly, adoration shining in her eyes, one hand still running in his hair. Lucas was happy, laying his head on his mom chest, listening to her heart beat steadily, her soft voice washing over him in a soothing wave.

“Do you want to know what is written in that notebook?”

He nodded eagerly, his curiosity peaking once again, his little legs kicking a bit in excitement. His mom chuckled at his antics.

“Look love” She put the notebook on his lap, the weight of it making him keep his legs still. Her hand went to cover his. “ I write words or phrases I love in it, memories, quotes, lyrics... Words are beautiful baby remember that. Letters upon letters assembled together to form words, once again put together to form sentences destined to make you feel. There is nothing purer than words.” Seeing Lucas was still listening intently, looking up at her with wonder, she goes on, smiling. “Do you want me to read you some of those quotes?” Lucas nodded again, not able to talk, fearful the magical moment would stop otherwise when his only wish was that his mom keep speaking, he wanted to hear her stories.

She took his fingers in hers, putting it under a written line. His mom had a beautiful handwriting, cursive intricate letters joined by graceful loops. She leant her head on his shoulders, whispering soflty in his ear, her breath tickling him,making a giggle escape him from time to time .

“We live in a rainbow of chaos. This one was written by Paul Cezanne, a famous painter.”

She looked over the pages, selecting the quotes that spoke to her the most in this moment.

“I like this one : “ Every story ever told really happened. Stories are where memories go when they are forgotten”

Lucas gasped, stars in his eyes.

“So fairytales are true? Princess Anastasia is real?”

His mom chuckled, amused.

“Well, yes she is. Just because you can't see her it doesn't mean she doesn't exist. I'm sure she is living her life happily ever after somewhere in the world.”

“So mermaids exist? What about dragons? Knights and wizards? Princesses, elves and talking animals? “

“Yes, they exist baby. As long as they live in your heart they are alive somewhere”

Lucas's mouth went slack in astonishment, not quite processing this new piece of information yet. His mom chuckled fondly.

“Do you want to hear another quote?”

How could he say no? He had a whole new world to discover in front of him. So the night went on like this, way past his bedtime, his mom reading quotes upon quotes to him until he fell asleep on her lap. Every night for the next months, they would sit at the desk, his mom teaching him how to read bit by bit, until he was able to read the quotes to her out loud, and then in his head when he read the notebook alone.

He was alone when he stumbled upon the new addition in the notebook. “ I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people” He hadn't fully comprehend it at the time. But it felt important somehow, so he read it again and again until it was imprinted in his mind.

He was 15 when his dad left them. He understood the quote better now, as he watched his parents marriage fall apart until there was nothing left but shreds. The quote resonated even more with him when his mom starting drifting away and he couldn't do anything to help her. He was 16 when his dad sent his mom away in a clinic, under the pretext that she was unstable, it was the worst day of his life. He was also 16 when he moved out of the now empty house, too big for him alone to join the coloc. Sixteen and no parents in sight would have been a fucking dream for a lot of teenagers. Not for him. He was scared and lonely and confused and he missed his mom and he was terrified of the future. He was 17 when he met Eliott and his fear of the unknown no longer left him paralyzed in fright. It was still there, but it was easily forgotten with Eliott by his side.

He's 18 now, living with the love of his life, who is doing amazing in college when the fear comes back stronger than ever. He is rummaging through boxes left unopened in the back of their closet from when he moved in. His hands stumble across a hard cover. He takes it out of the box, sitting on the wooden floor with The notebook on his lap, as if he was still a little child. He brushes the deep purple coloured cover, not believing his eyes. He doesn't even remember taking the notebook with him when he left the house. He should give it back to his mom the next time he'll visit. And all of the sudden he remembers all the quotes his mom wrote in that book. Every single one. Especially the one he learned by heart. That's how his fear comes back. Because of a fucking quote that shook him to his core when he was younger, long before he could even grasp its meaning.

Eliott is not home, not yet. He's been working on a project consuming all his time lately. Lucas is left alone in the apartment almost every nights now, eating alone, falling asleep alone, Eliott coming back in the middle of the night, exhausted, waking up early only to be gone when Lucas wakes up. So loneliness strikes once again, he misses Eliott, not having spent time with his boyfriend for too long has taken a toll on him. It's Sunday afternoon and he promised Lucas he would be there so they could spend some time together. Lucas is already frustrated enough after a talk with the man who has the audacity to call himself his father, and Eliott is not here. One look at the clock on the wall indicates it is nearing four. Eliott promised when he left this morning that he would be done by two. And his calls are left unanswered ! Lucas is worried, tapping his phone in his hand while pacing the living room, stopping sometimes to look through the window in hope to see his boyfriend finally come home. He is this close to calling Idriss when the sound of the lock startles him. Lucas rushes to the door, hugging Eliott to death as soon as the door opens. He feels his body stiffen in surprise underneath him before strong arms tug him closer by the waist. After long minutes , they go back inside the flat, Lucas relief leaving him to be replaced by a dull annoyance. Eliott looks exhausted, dark bags under his eyes, his cheekbones even more prominent, a ghost is would look tanned in comparison. Lucas keeps him close, worried Eliott might faint if he takes a step back. He cradles his face in his palm, running his thumb over the growing stubble on his chin.

“What happened? Where were you? Why is your phone dead?” He asks in a worried tone.

Eliott only sighs, nuzzling in his hand.

“I was at Lucy's” Lucas only gives him a quizzical face. “ The girl I was partnered with for the project.” He heads toward the kitchen, looking into the fridge to find something to eat, Lucas follows him diligently.

“Okay, but why didn't you answer my call?” 

“I ran out of battery.”

Lucas frowns, not really believing Eliott's evasive answers.

“Doesn't Lucy have a charger you could borrow?”

“I didn't think about it” Eliott feels himself getting increasingly annoyed. “ Can we not do this now? I'm tired and hungry.”

“Well you wouldn't be if you had come home earlier to eat." The tension around them build up. " I was waiting for you, you know. It's the only thing I seem to be doing these days.” He utters the last part under his breath, hoping Eliott wouldn't hear him. The universe is against him it seems. Eliott stands up, closing the fridge.

“Sorry what did you say?”

“Nothing.” Lucas looks up at the ceiling. Perhaps if he stares long enough they will drop the topic. Perhaps.

“No you said something and I'm afraid I didn't understand.”

Eliott comes closer, at arm's reach. Lucas scoffs, he brought this on himself no need to put his head in the sand now.He inhales, pinching the bridge of his nose, his foot tapping rhythmically against the wooden floor.

“Okay you want to know? I said that the only thing I do lately is wait for you. Wait for you to reply to my text, wait for you to come home, wait for you to even acknowledge my existence.” He huffs, crossing his arms.

Eliott blinks owlishly, not quite understanding.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me damn well Eliott.It feels like I don't even have a boyfriend anymore.”

He regrets that sentence as soon as it leaves his mouth. Seeing the betrayed look on Eliott's face makes him feel even worse. 

“Do you know how unfair that statement is? I'm working my ass off to pass my exams! And I miss you too Lucas, so fucking much it hurts! I'm sorry for spending so much time away from you. It's only the matter of a few weeks!

Lucas only rolls his eyes 

“Pff, you already said that two weeks ago Eliott. And today you promised you would come back early but you didn't.”

“So that's what it is about? Me coming home late? Are you doubting me Lucas? “

“Of course Eliott! I was fucking worried about you!”

“Because you think I can't handle myself?”

Lucas mulls over his next sentences.

“Absolutely not. Because you're not the type to break a promise and something could have happened to you, that's why. Sorry for caring about you! It would be easier if you answered your fucking phone you know.”

“So now I have to answer every time you text? You are not my mom Lucas I don't owe you anything”

 Lucas tried to calm the situation but Eliott is being childish, he might as well let it all out.

“I don't ask for much, just one fucking text to tell me you're okay!”

“Damn it I can't believe it." Eliott paces around the kitchen counter, running a hand in his untamed hair, making wild gestures with his free arm as he speaks. "I can't believe it! You're just like Lucille. Why are you so fucking clingy?”

Lucas opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish, unable to speak, too hurt by Eliott's word. This went too far. When he speaks again, his voice is shaky, trying to calm down.

“Sorry for caring about you Eliott. Sorry for loving you.” The words are whispered, their weight heavy between them.

“Luc I'm...”

“Don't” Lucas raises his hand to stop Eliott from coming closer. He swallows back the lump in his throat. “If I speak I'm going to say something I will regret later, so for now I am going to the bedroom. Don't follow me, I don't want to see you right now.”

Lucas turns around, wiping away the falling tears as he sits on the bed, hugging his legs with his arms, screaming his frustration in a pillow. Hours have gone by, he went through his mom's notebook again in an attempt to calm himself. It worked for some time, until he heard noise in the apartment, reminding him that Eliott was here and he was the reason he was crying in the first place. It didn't work anymore afterwards. His heart aches, his body feels heavy, his mind is fuzzy from crying so much. Lucas needs to get out of here. He can't be around Eliott for now, it's too much for him. His decision made, he grabs the duffle bag hidden in the back of the closet, putting clothes at random in it, not really caring about what he's taking with him. He can always come back another day since Eliott is so busy.

Lucas opens the door, almost colliding with Eliott in the process. The latter was behind the door, his fist still hanging in the air in a failed attempt to knock at the door. He looks miserable, like a reprimanded puppy but Lucas doesn't care enough in this moment to feel guilty.

“What the fuck Eliott? I told you I wanted to be left alone!”

He goes to the living room, checking for something he might have forgotten, such as his phone on the piano. He knows Eliott is following him, with more distance between them than usual but he is trailing behind.

“Where are you going?” He asks in a daze,  his eyes not leaving the bag in Lucas's hand.

“I can't stay here for now, I'm crashing at the coloc tonight, and maybe for the next week. I need time apart from you.”

“So you just leave instead of talking it out? Very mature of you Lucas. Fantastic.” Eliott applauses mockingly

“ Eliott please stop, don't make the situation worse”

“I'm not the one running away.” He bites his nails, looking everywhere apart from Lucas.

“But you are being childish and petty.”

“Right. You're the one who started this remember? Just pack your things and go since that's what you want." Eliott turns his back on him. "You think I need you Lucas?”

His mom told him there was nothing purer than words, there is nothing as vicious either. Words cut deeper than a knife, Lucas is starting to realize that.

"I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people"

The quote comes to his mind now, caught in an argument with Eliott,  in their tiny apartment,the summer heat clinging to their skin along with their frustration

Eliott is pacing like a wild animal in a cage in the living room, pulling his hair out by the roots, venom dripping from his mouth. He is a storm, has always been, ever since Lucas met him he was swept up off his feet, swirling in the wind, breath always knocked out of him. The eye of a storm is the safest place to ever exist so they say. Unfortunately Lucas left the peaceful eye to throw himself in the roaring thunder as soon as Eliott came home. Hearing the poisonous words hurts him more than he thought was ever possible, especially because the truth dawns on him : Eliott has left him. Right here, right now, in their shared apartment, he is physically here, but his heart no longer belongs to Lucas. So he leaves, with a watery “ Goodbye Eliott” he is sure the other one didn’t hear, shutting the door a bit too loudly behind him. 

Passersby stares at him, concerned looks on their faces. Lucas doesn’t care, too caught up in his head to control his body’s reactions. He doesn’t know the road he’s taken to arrive at the coloc, his body acting on autopilot. When he knocks on the door, he watches Mika’s smile fall off his face as he takes him in, pulling him gently into the flat, engulfing him into a giant hug when the door closes. Lucas lets himself be hugged, too stunned to return the warm embrace. Only then he bursts into tears.

//

“Lucas answer your goddamn phone I need my beauty sleep!” Mika screams from somewhere in the coloc.

He jolts awake, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, stretching his back, aching from sleeping on the couch for a week. Only then he hears the noise of his annoying ringtone. Still in a daze he answers, wondering who could call him at three in the morning.

“ Lucas baaabyyyyy I miss youuuuu!” He winces at the loud voice, putting the phone away from his ear.He hears a giggle in the background, covered by loud music.

“Eliott? Where are you?” He straightens up in the makeshift bed.

“Don't know” He hiccups. “ Why do you care?”

His words are slurred, making it hard for  Lucas to understand him completely.

“How much did you drink? Is there anyone with you?”

A moment of silence passes where he puts the phone away from his ear to check the line isn't dead.

“Sofiane...” A hiccup.” And Idriss were there but I lost them.” Another hiccup. “They are gone.” Lucas frowns. Is Eliott sniffling? He internally curses his friends for leaving Eliott alone in this state.

“Baby can you send me your location? I'm coming to get you home.”

“Noooooo I don't want to go home if you aren't going with me.” Eliott utters between sobs, if he wasn't crying before he sure is now..

Lucas can feel his heart beating in staccato in his chest, he has to get Eliott home safe. He wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't.

“I'll go home with you.” He says softly, the ghost of a smile grazing his lips.

“Promise me?” The sniffling has died down a bit.

“I promise.”

Lucas can almost see Eliott nods. The line is again silent for a few minutes before a feeble okay  can be heard. He hears his phone pings with a text right away.

“Don't move Eliott I'm going to get you”

Lucas hangs up, throwing hastily on the first pair of jeans he can find, almost losing balance when he puts on his shoes. Grabbing his keys, he bolts out of the coloc into the chilly night.

Thirty minutes later, Lucas finds himself looking at his phone, squinting his eyes against the bright light to double check the location Eliott sent him. The garden of the house he is standing in front of is lit up by fairy lights, scattered on the grass or tangles in tree branches. His heart is pounding along with the rhythm of the loud basses sounds. There are a few people chatting in the front yard, drunken laughs echoing in the silent, someone is vomiting near a tree. Lucas inhales, in hope it will give him some sort of courage to find Eliott. He pushes past grinding bodies, the mixed scents of spilt alcohol, sweat and the lingering heat  makes him dizzy.

 Eliott is nowhere to be seen. He is on the verge of giving up when he catches a glimpse of a golden brown mop of hair standing in the kitchen, hands behind his back, resting on the counter. His heart soars in relief, at least he's found him, he is safe. Lucas slowly approaches, coming to a halt when he takes in the sight in front of him. Eliott is indeed safe, it looks like he's having the time of his life even, head thrown back in laughter, a pretty girl looking at him with hunger in her eyes, biting her lips, her hand travelling teasingly up and down Eliott's chest. She gets tentatively closer, her eyes fixed on his lips. Lucas's heart shatters , his eyes water. Everything happens in slow motion, the fast-paced track in the background doesn't reach his ears anymore, people drunkenly bumping into him doesn't make him turn his head, too transfixed on Eliott. He sees her lips part, can almost guess how fast her blood is pumping in her veins from the excitement of what she's about to do, their lips are millimeters apart when Eliott, in his inebriated state, catches up to what's happening. Lucas watches as he mumbles something close to a “ no thank you”. He slowly comes closer, wanting to know what's going to happen next.

“Why? You liked the first one....” He hears the girl speaking in a husky voice and refrains himself from scoffing bitterly.

At her new attempt at kissing, Eliott turns his head fast, his eyes widening in shock when they fall on Lucas, shoving the girl aside quickly before swaying in his direction. Lucas stands still, not able to move, it's becoming increasingly hard to breathe. He only remembers what he was doing here in the first place when Eliott drops a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little to keep his balance. He goes for a hug, only to be rejected, Lucas shoving his hand off his shoulders, pinning him down under his stare, only muttering a short “ I'm taking you home” before turning away, guiding Eliott through the house by a firm grasp on his wrist. They part the crowd, ignoring people calling them, only stopping once outside to breathe fresh air. Lucas prevents Eliott from talking, he doesn't want to hear anything coming from him tonight, doesn't have the energy to deal with another fight. He only makes a small gesture with his head, asking him to follow him, their steps synchronizing along the way.

 The walk back home is uncomfortably silent, the two boys unable to utter a single word. Lucas hopes that by the time they make it back home, Eliott has sobered up enough for them to talk.

//

The door shuts behind them in a loud bang.

“I swear Lucas I didn’t kiss her! It was a stupid dare and it meant nothing to me! And then she came onto me and... I don’t know I was drunk and upset after our fight so I let her.”

“Can't you see that’s the problem Eliott ! You lead her on! Who knows how far you would have gone together if I didn't come to get you.”.

Eliott runs a hand down his face, dark eyes hardening.

“Do you really think I would cheat on you Lucas? Is that what you think of me?”

“Well I certainly don't want a repeat of the Lucille incident” He snaps, crossing his arms angrily.

“For fuck sakes Lucas it was once and we weren't officially a couple! Will you ever drop it?”

“Maybe it happened once but you were inebriated tonight Eliott, and you know you tend to get flirty when you drink, you can't blame me for being a little suspicious.”

“So you don't trust me. Great.”

“I didn't say that...”

“You didn't need to Lucas.”

They stare at each other defiantly, fire in their eyes. Lucas is the first one to look away, he sighs tapping his foot against the floor rapidly.

“ You know what Eliott, it's late, you're drunk and we're both tired. We'll talk in the morning if you're well enough. For now go to sleep.”

He turns around, not wanting to see the look on his face. The anger and the hurt he's been feeling for the past week are still burning underneath the surface, ready to be ignited again. Lucas closes his eyes, listening to the quiet surrounding them, he can hear the floor creaking above his head. One of their neighbors is a night owl, good to know. A soft hand encircles his wrist, not squeezing, just laying there. A weight falls on his shoulder, he can feel Eliott's breath on the back of his neck, nuzzling there. He suppresses a shiver. His hand goes up his arm slowly, so gently the featherlike touch tickles him. The touches stop once his hands rest on his shoulders, bringing them closer together. Nothing can be heard, only their synched breathing.

Every contact on Lucas's skin prickles him, lighting his skin up in anticipation. How he has craved Eliott's touch during their week apart, tossing and turning on the coloc's couch, feeling cold, having no one to cuddle him, encircle him with his arms in a protective hold. But nothing has changed, they have to talk at some point, about tonight, about them, about where they are going, about what Lucas is the most afraid of. They both said hurtful things, things they regretted as soon as the words were out. Apologies are long overdue. Eliott whispers muffled words against his skin like a prayer, barely audible.

“I'm so sorry love. Come to bed with me. I missed you I missed you I missed you...”

“I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible”

Lucas wants to give in, his touch-starved body wanting nothing more than to melt into Eliott's. His battered heart however can't handle being too close, in case one of them decides to pull away again. Eyes tightly shut, he wipes away the tear beginning to fall.

“You'll understand why storms are named after people”

“I can't Eliott” His voice cracks up. “ I miss you too but it's too soon. You really hurt me,  I need time. Go to sleep, I'll take the couch.”

He feels more than he hears the deep sigh behind him, the loud exhale leaving goosebumps on his skin. Arms hold him tighter, squeezing once before letting go, leaving him feeling cold, alone in a dark room.

“Goodnight love”

Lucas can't look at Eliott right now or he'll cave in. His will is already wearing thin.

“Goodnight Eliott”

He doesn't see the sweet smile faltering nor the sorrow in his eyes. Lucas stays a while longer looking through the window at the deserted streets, listening to the faint noise of the parisian nightlife. Only when he's certain Eliott won't return to the living room he lets the tears pour. Crying silently on the living room couch, his thoughts run in circles, making him imagine the worst case scenario over and over again. As the sun rises and the birds start chirping he falls asleep, too exhausted to keep his red eyes open.

//

NB: Hi I hope you enjoyed! So I just wanted to say that the pics aren’t mine ( except from the bottom right one) I found them on the Internet so if one of your pic is in there just let me know and I’ll credit you! Also the quote is from Caitlyn Siehl and the title of this fic comes from a song called “ La lune à 3h du mat”  (duh) written by French artist Maxenss, go check his work out his songs are awesome! ( really angsty for some though). Okay I think that’s all thank you for reading and have a good day! Love you all and see you next time!