#But please once this calms down
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Sorry for all the negative and american-focused posts right now. I'm trying very hard to stay calm.
#I'm not even american#But this election sets a terrifying precedent#negative#politics#tw politics#vent#How much more will we all take before we finally do something?#How many more must die before we say that's enough?#For now we grieve. But I sincerely hope that this election will motivate the people of the USA / and across the world / to finally speak up#And say “no. we won't take this lying down anymore.”#Wishful thinking I guess.#But please once this calms down#Look into actions you can take to protest what just happened#Look into petitions to sign - meetings you can attend - letters you can send your representatives#Do not just accept this
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Xie Lian:
Shi Qingxuan: Can we be girlies together? Please?? For the mission. We'd be sexie- I mean more effective at the task. As women. Specifically. You know like the ones with the soft, smooth skin and the pretty lashes and the big ti- I mean stronger yin energy. That would help us blend in better. As seamlessly as I'd blend your makeup BESTIE PLEASE-
#ming yi's bitch ass got kidnapped so sqx has to seek female companionship from other men smh#someone please go be lesbians with this gal#let her fall asleep with her head resting on someone's ample bosom ONCE and she'd calm down#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#shi qingxuan#xie lian
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I have not been keeping up to date with my tumblr but with Twitter on fire (once more) I will probably spend more time here. Also I fell down an entire flight of stairs two days ago so I am extremely sore and bruised, what better time to catch up on things over here than while I am pretty much bedridden? I see all your lovely comments and tags and there are some recurring people who keeps interacting with my posts. i'm super flattered y'all thank you so much 😭❤️
#NoxVox#text post#nothing is broken thankfully#while writing this I am also bedridden cus of another health issue as well as the flu going crazy here#and got some upsetting updates regarding a close relative#can life please calm down#why must everything happen at once
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Why I don't expect promotion for Muse to be similar to RPWP or Golden...
...or any other release before that.
Smeraldo Garden Marching Band is doing well for not having it's artist available. In fact it is outstanding. There were many other prominent artists who released music on the same day and are currently hitting up the interview circuit and other promotional activities. Our boy debuts at #4 on Global Spotify and he's somewhere on a military base.
See the post here.
That is pretty outstanding for not having the artist available to promote. Name another artist in which this has happened.
Perhaps a dead one... let's just not go there.
"But the Youtube views are low..."
I think since the popularity of Tiktok, the use of YouTube and therefore its influence has diminished somewhat. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be more views. We all know the challenges we have with YouTube. We just have to do the best we can with using YouTube.
Help boost views. Watch the MV here.
"But Right Place Wrong Person was heavily promoted..."
Namjoon was all over his own IG often, almost every day for a while, along with the staff he appointed to post on the @rpwprpwprpwp Instagram account. Perhaps this created a perception that RPWP had some heavy promotion when he was doing all that himself and it was keeping it in front of us so consistently.
The BigHit instagram chat channel is being used for Muse and has been very engaging. It is convenient for Jimin in case he is able and does repost or create a story with any of that content.
I've seen a lot of buzz in the media on both sides of the Pacific regarding SGMB and Muse. That means BigHit sent out press kits. I saw at least one radio group posting they had the song and it was ready to include in their rotations. We'll see if they actually follow through. But that means BigHit sent it to radio.
"Jimin and the members need to post about it..."
It is more of a challenge for Jimin and Jungkook to be online because of the location of their base. If it is in the mountains as was mentioned earlier this year, their internet connection may not be as reliable or strong enough to allow much use. Soldiers may also be restricted as to if they can even use it if the base itself needs it for military operations or if its encrypted for security or whatever myriad of reasons why they can't access it.
If they had reliable internet service where they are, we'd be seeing JK on TikTok more often. But... perhaps TikTok is one of those apps that they are discouraged from using as it is China-based and why JK created the Instagram account for Bam.
Perhaps they are free to do what they want only when OFF base and out of the area during their days off. We don't know what their restrictions are.
People just have to come down to earth and think. Jimin is in the military. I'm most certain that Jimin is being Jimin and focused on his duties. He is wearing fatigues and a helmet and going out everyday doing drills and training including firing ammunition out of a big ass piece of warfare equipment. He is listening to reports from his commanders about what is going on regarding North Korea and what his base will be expected to do if anything should escalate. He should be focused on his duties not focused on what is happening out here.
It is Saturday. Not sure what their alert status might be on a weekend. But we have to be cognizant that JM and JK are the closest to the DMZ of any of the members and will be activated first should anything occur.
I am constantly thinking about how every time we hear of nonsense from NK that JM and JK have to hear it every day too and any contingency they will be ready for in case anythng happens.
NK fired missiles the other day. Yesterday maybe? Some sort of rocket that can launch multiple missiles in one shot. It's chilling. Now imagine you are mere miles from the border and must react with your own weapons of mass destruction should anything become more aggressive.
Jimin worked and created, then he left it for us while he is doing his duty. I'm never going to expect him to do anything else until he is discharged. Unless he is able and wants to. Otherwise I want him doing what he feels he needs to do in order to get through this for himself and Jungkook.
I am very, very happy Namjoon was able to and wanted to participate in his own album's release as much as he was able. But some people have the same expectation that Jimin should too.
I'm never going to expect it from Jimin.
"The company is not doing enough..."
Surely everyone knows this is not a big long vacation for them. It may be a break from their careers and their real personal lives but its not a vacation by any means.
They keep saying its not easy. Perhaps they mean its not easy sitting in a military base carrying out a routine day in day out.
Or perhaps they say its not easy because they are on constant alert. They cannot give any details because their locations and their activities are classified information. Surely, surely, people can realize that right?
See? My brain is always thinking I just don't say a lot of what it comes up with. Because it serves no purpose to talk about it except to create worry. Just like people screaming at the company, it creates stress and negativity.
There is only so much public facing promoting the company can achieve especially when its been planned with the artist's involvement. Since I don't know (and neither does anyone else) what the entire promotion plan is, how can anyone speak on the promotion plan? Just because another member's release was handled a certain way does that mean it should be done the same for all? Not necessarily.
Stationhead listening party schedule:
This is an ad I just saw from BigHit.
Yes, this is an ad and not a repost, I've seen it twice already and it is not on the @BTS_bighit accounts feed:
These are posts promoting SGMB on streaming platforms:
Of course, if you use any playlists on streaming platforms, check the songs on the list and turn off/delete the ones you don't want to stream. Or create your own playlists.
The people printing their own posters, putting them up in public and asking for them to be displayed is WONDERFUL! THAT is the energy Army are known for!
Also the UK issue with the random inclusion making it disqualified. A fix may or may not be in the works. Constant screaming to the company won't make it happen faster or at all if it can't be done logistically. All screaming does is make everyone feel bad, including Jimin if he sees it.
@OfficialCharts is UK based and posted about Jimin and SGMB:
But since people began screaming since day one, every time another step in the promotion process occurs, screamers will take credit for it and vehemently scream it only happened because they were screaming when the reality is, no one knows whats on the promotion schedule.
Those of you telling people not to buy the album now but to wait and buy it when it releases? THAT IS USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE INFORMATION!
We, as Army, know how, what and when to buy in order to impact the charts. I know you didn't forget any of that. So stop screaming and do something productive like tell people how to work around this apparent obstacle until it is fixed or in case it never gets fixed.
The screaming at BigHit to do their job is not productive or useful at all in helping Jimin at this point. It only displays negativity and lowers morale for those who don't know what to do.
We are a month away from the album's release for god's sakes, the pre-promotions are paced to keep interest.
They can't all be thrown out all at one time.
Whatever comes out as pre-promotions will be things that were planned in advance and not knee jerk reactions to the screamers.
"If we don't say anything, things will never change for Jimin."
That is your perception. Jimin is very much in control of his own life and career. He can change anything he wants to. Feel free to scream about it, I know its different strokes for different folks. But constantly screaming and trending it surrounds Jimin's activities with stress and negativity. I know you know how to communicate your concerns to the company discreetly. And we know they see our communications because they ask us for help to identify those who are carrying out slanderous and illegal activities against our guys.
If you want to help, communicate to the rest of the fandom the steps they can take to actually help increase streams, views and sales.
Even if the company plasters posters everywhere, WE, THE FANS, are still the ones who do the streaming, buying, viewing and supporting. Its in our hands now. We know what to do!
After all is said and done, I trust Jimin. He's in control of his life.
And he has Jungkook with him. That's the smartest fucking thing ever.
Please go stream it now on your preferred streaming platform.
Please go share some of the various positive news media stories out there on your socials.
#jimin x muse#calm down#don't be counterproductive#why are there always 42 crises going on at once?#i know that mantis and i will never be on the same page#but i dont have to listen to the screaming either#we all have choices to act on#please let me know what you consider 'proper' promotion#lets talk about it
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in your fic you mention how falin has torn doors off their hinges accidentally and now i’m wondering how the others reacted lol 😭
i think she's like. reflexively gentle enough that she wouldn't actually end up breaking anything unless she was really putting her weight into it.
so the first time it happened it was probably when she was helping everyone clear out the castle. she's downstairs in the cellar while everyone's just upstairs poking around. she comes across a rusted door that won't budge on her first try, so she really heaves it and then just
Marcille: Falin?? Is everything okay?? Falin: Everything's fine! [knocks over 20 different dusty barrels and boxes and shit trying to swing the door back into the frame]
Everyone comes downstairs to see her like. Frantically trying to fix it before giving up like a guilty puppy. Reactions are what you'd expect. Marcille is freaking out trying to figure out if this is a symptom of something really bad or some complication with her resurrection. Laios immediately experiences childlike wonder and jealousy and wants to start testing just how strong she is by getting her to break different things. Yaad and Kabru are just kind of like "huh! i hope we don't need that door."
meanwhile Falin's just dying bc "oh shit i broke something aaa" + "marcille is just grabbing me everywhere again and she smells nice" + "this is too much attention"
#asks#a little creature#dungeon meshi#once she gets to calm down tho. she's super down to just spend an afternoon breaking stuff with laios#bc THEN it sinks in like oh wow this is super cool!!!!#marcille just crying in the background like. please can we be more concerned about this#answer: no. it's sick as hell and falin is immediately going to start climbing shit and lifting big rocks in the forest#is this also lowkey an attempt to shill the power rangers movie? yes#it was good you guys. it was cheesy as hell but it was GOOD cheesy cmon
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As much as I love leosagi we have to admit Leo's ass is not ready for any relationship and he'd fumble the bag so hard multiple times but Usagi is just stupid persistent so there's a chance they'd work it out
#nardo's primetime.txt#like i love leo but this man would have a panic attack and break up with usagi in the middle of the night because “you deserve better im so#“sorry im just a liar you probably feel like shit”#and usagi is like “have you drank water and ate food and slept at all it is 3am please rest and we'll talk later once youve calmed down”#and leo fucking sobs apologizing the next day like “bro the demons got to me im so sorry wont happen again” until he learns what therapy is#rottmnt headcanons#leosagi#technically#rise leo#rottmnt leo
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once again rambling about five and lila because i’m fucking pissed. enjoy
“five and lila were perfect for each other because they had so much in common” yet so many perfect couples have absolutely nothing in common???
they could relate to each other in ways that made them hate each other and that’s why they were SUCH good foil characters, i don’t understand why the romance had to be necessary.
there is absolutely no reason that this romance plotline should’ve been created. it was so ridiculously off-focus from what the plot was (AND should have been) and it literally only made the season so much worse.
do writers understand that not every single character has to fall in love with one another? i mean genuinely?
personally i don’t believe five is aro (though he could be ace) because i can’t help but love five’s love for delores (even if she wasn’t real) but i completely understand five aroace truthers because he truly can be independent romantically as we saw in the show.
i cannot wrap my fucking head around the fact that the writers saw two awesome, dynamic, badass characters with arcs and goals outside of love and attention and decided to turn their personalities inside out and upside down for a dumbass dead-end romance that makes zero sense.
five and lila were the only two people on god’s green earth who could understand each other and hated the other for it. why couldn’t they just be frenemies and call it a day?
god fucking damn it i’m so upset
shoutout to 13 year old 58 year old five hating lila and 29 year old lila despising the fuck out of little five !!! <3
fuck you to the worst, most nonsensical couple of all time and space ❌❌
#it is once again hating five x lila hours#you know what the worst part is?#seeing five in love was fucking beautiful#i didn’t even hate that part#yknow who would’ve been a better character for him to fall in love with?#LITERALLY. ANYONE. ELSE.#lila was just there and they decided that her entire arc this season could become ‘‘woman 2 men fight over’’#hey assholes#this is LILA WE ARE TALKING ABOUT#literally one of if not the most badass woman in the show#and her entire plotline became ‘‘desperate housewife in need of romance with a man that isn’t her husband ’’#here’s a personal letter for each and every writer of the umbrella academy season 4:#fuck you#sorry this might be really agressive out of nowhere#and i feel like most people have already calmed down about this for the majority#but sometimes i see a five x lila post that just pisses me off so badly that i need to rant all over again. i’m so upset#someone sedate me please#tua s4 hater !!!!!!!#laur says stuff#laur rambles#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#number five hargreaves#tua five#number five#five hargreeves#tua s4#tua season 4#lila pitts
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Melo playing third wheel and he knows it too 😭
#carmelo hayes#trick williams#wwe#wweedit#ilja dragunov#nxt#nxtedit#WWE NXT#trickunov#stuff i made#ilja PLEASE calm down ure gonna give yourself an aneurism#this is hands down my fave story going on in wwe btw#i am once again asking yall to watch nxt
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really sucks when you realize you and a friend have just kind of grown up as two different people and don’t mesh together like you used to and like you have so much history you don’t wanna let go of but you’re absolutely miserable in the friendship
#to delete#the girl i’ve been friends with over half my life is just so insufferable now#she’s very pick me and likes to nitpick absolutely everything for no reason#absolutely DESPISES genz and tiktok for some reason#puts down everything about me and it feels targeted but she does it in ways that it comes across like it’s not#so when i call her out on picking on dumb things like kpop fans or genz i look like a psycho bitch#she very much just has to speak up on everything she dislikes instead of just letting people be happy#like it’s shit that’s not bothering anyone#she once went OFF because i’m afraid of bugs and ‘most girls’ are afraid of bugs but SHE isn’t afraid of them#and im like yes girl we pick you please stfu#it’s always just little stuff that doesn’t matter but 98% of the time has to do w something i like or don’t like#so it feels targeted and then i speak up and the rest of our friends are like ‘calm down it’s not that deep’#idk i just like…..she feels the opposite about a lot of things i feel#and then has to act superior for being opposite of me#also being so angry over a generation of young adults/kids and an app for no reason……#idk we just don’t go well together anymore and idk how to bring it up
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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22 Mattdrai please
Thank you anon! I hope you enjoy :)
22. things you said after it was over
Last year, it was Matthew's precious Flames that got punted out of the playoffs. To add insult to injury, it was at the hands of the Oilers. Which is why, that same night, he sent Leon a slew of drunken texts from some dingy downtown bar because he was not in the mood to even look at Leon, let alone go home with him.
Those texts included one declaring they were breaking up, which Leon didn't take to heart because not even five minutes later he got another message assuring him that no they were not actually breaking up Matthew was just going to hate him for the next 48 hours. That, Leon could handle.
Hell, he'd probably have gone for 72 hours. Minimum. And he had to rest his ankle anyways, if he wanted any chance of seeing ice-time the next game. He'd be there when Matthew was ready.
This year, it's the Oilers who go out first.
Leon just barely keeps it together through the post-game media frenzy. He doesn't want to look at the cameras, barely keeps the shudder from his voice, which is little more than a whimper because he just can’t breathe. Hunkered down with his hood up because it feels safe, the only barrier between him and a world that just crushed his dream. Again.
It's not like he can be mad at Matthew, because he fucked off to Florida, a whole other division, so Leon has no excuse for not answering any of his texts, or the six separate times Matthew tried to call after Vegas knocked Edmonton on it's ass.
Only once Leon's back home for the night, drained and exhausted and dazed, refusing to go out with Connor and the guys because he really, really doesn't want to exist right now, does he look at his phone.
Cuddling Bowie in his arms, he sits on the couch and scrolls through the avalanche of texts from Matthew. The last one catches him off guard, and he stares at it, reading it over and over.
come down and see me. please.
And... yeah. Through the doom and gloom of another lost season, he misses Matthew. Matthew, who's season isn't done. Matthew, who doesn't need Leon, but wants him. Wants him to be there.
So Leon books a flight to Florida, and starts packing.
The next day he goes in early for clear-out, says his goodbyes, and drives right to the airport. After an almost nine hour flight--including a layover in Denver that's great for his legs but not his morale--he lands in Fort Lauderdale just as the sun hits the horizon.
Matthew's waiting for him at Arrivals, dressed in board shorts and sandals and button-down shirt, sunglasses and that damn bucket hat. He smiles when he sees Leon, waves, and the simplicity of it chips away at the heavy stone sitting on Leon's chest. He always breathes better when he's with Matthew.
"What, not even a sign?" Leon calls out once he's in earshot. "I thought you were excited to see me?"
Matthew slaps the brim of Leon's hat down over his eyes. "Next time I'll bring confetti canons and air horns."
And fuck, just hearing Matthew's voice again without a phone between them lifts a weight off Leon's shoulders. It almost makes the defeat worth it.
His hands are too empty suddenly. He wants to hold Matthew's, wrap him up in his arms, touch him anywhere and everywhere, inside and out. Replenish old memories, make new ones. Never let go again.
Matthew gets the jump on him once they're in his car, dragging Leon over the center console by his shirt and into a sloppy kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, scratchy beard and plush lips, and as always, it's perfect. This too, aches like a phantom pain when they're on opposite ends of the continent. Phone sex and a bit of imagination with his own hand can't totally replace the sex, but it definitely can't replace the sweetness of a kiss.
When he pulls back, Matthew looks like he's going to immediately drop the one thing Leon really doesn't want to hear--the dreaded I'm sorry about what happened--so he jumps first.
"I missed you."
If Matthew knows he's purposely being cut off, he doesn't show it. He bumps their foreheads together and closes his eyes, like he's just soaking Leon in.
"Missed you too."
As the dusk fades to night, they drive, and drive, and drive. Not to Matthew's house, that's immediately obvious, but Leon doesn't ask where they're going. He slumps in the passenger's seat, leg tucked up against the dashboard, and goes between watching palm trees and glistening waterfront, to watching Matthew.
He tries not to think about hockey, but it was a long and restless flight, and Matthew's got a stupid little air freshener shaped like skates, and the playoffs aren't actually over, so of course the first thing Leon says to break the silence is, "When's your next game?"
Matthew taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music playing on the radio. "Thursday. Against Carolina. We're flying out the day after tomorrow."
"Hmm. So what are we doing with all that time?"
"Fucking, hopefully." Matthew glances sidelong at him, tongue poking between his teeth. "At least for part of it. I still have practice, and you need to relax."
"What am I doing while you're gone?"
"Waiting for me to come back? You can stay at my place. Come to the games when we're at home. My family's going to drop in too, so, you know, be prepared for that."
Won't be Leon's first tangle with the Tkachuks. Pretty sure he's an honorary member of the family at this point, even if he still struggles to keep up with the energy they bring to a room. Not that he minds.
The rest of the drive is quiet enough that Leon dozes off. When he wakes up, groggy with jet lag, it's dark aside from the street lights, and Matthew is pulling into a parking lot up from a small, deserted beach. Leon doesn't know which one; there's so many here. He follows Matthew out of the car and down the promenade, down the stone steps to the sand, where grains slip between his toes and the sound of the waves soothes the storm in his own head.
Which is exactly why Matthew brought him here; somewhere secluded, somewhere that can't hurt him. Because Leon loves the ocean, and Matthew loves him.
He follows Matthew along the beach, going nowhere in particular. Matthew walks purposefully nonetheless, head high and shoulders back, warm breeze tugging at his clothes and ruffling his curls. Something Leon loves to do too, and can't wait to do again.
This place looks good on Matthew. If only it weren't so far away.
"I'm glad you came," Matthew says over his shoulder, slowing until Leon catches up. "I wasn't sure you would."
Why not? The year-round heat and the beaches and the seemingly endless bars are a nice change of pace. But more importantly, this is where Matthew is. Of course he was going to come.
"Beats sitting around re-watching the second round wondering what we could have done differently," Leon says instead, because it's true, and because he doesn't need to tell Matthew what he already knows.
"Hey, that's not a bad thing. But it's not what you need right now." Matthew swallows, takes an uneven breath like he's the one getting choked up. "I saw your interview yesterday. After the game. Leon, you know I didn't call you down here for me, right? Don't get me wrong, I'd fucking love for you to be here watching us play, but the way you sounded... I was worried you'd end up sitting around your house all alone and depressed."
"I'm not depressed. And I wasn't going to. I was planning on going back home."
"Great, so you can mope around in Germany instead."
"I wouldn't have been alone."
"Much as I love Bowie, he doesn't count, babe."
Leon stops walking, staring at the sand until Matthew stops too, turning back and right into Leon's space to block the wind, which has taken on a chill.
"Leon--"
"Our season's over, Matthew," he mutters. "I really thought we could... I didn't want it to end here."
Matthew sighs, but his eyes are sympathetic. "Yeah. I know. But you're not done. There's always next year. And a bunch more after that."
The same platitudes, every time. It's empty words. Leon knows it. Matthew knows it. But what else is there to say? You fall, you get back up, you try again. Rinse and repeat. That's what this league is.
In any other circumstance, Matthew would probably make some crack about the Oilers and how assuming you guys can actually get your shit together, you may have a chance, but it's, you know, fucking Edmonton, so...
But he's being kind for Leon's sake. Because Matthew's forked tongue turns to silk when he's off the ice. He's so gentle at times like this, handling Leon with kid gloves like he thinks he'll shatter if he so much as breathes too hard.
"I'm just getting tired of it always being 'next year'," Leon admits easily, because it is easy with Matthew. "Every time we come close, we get knocked down. It feels like shit. I'm fucking tired of it."
Every time he climbs the ladder, he tastes victory. The higher the wrung, the sweeter it is. And every time he falls, there's a tiny part of him that worries he'll never get his feet off the ground again.
"Hey." Matthew cups his cheek, forcing Leon to look him in the eye, into pale blues that dance and shine even in the dark. "You're not giving up on me, are you?"
The question catches him so off guard Leon jerks like he's been struck.
"What? No. Fuck no. The hell kind of question is that?"
Quitting has never even crossed his mind. He didn't come into this league thinking it would be easy. He's worked his ass off to get where he is, and sure he's got his own liabilities to work through, but he'll keep going until something gives out.
"Good. Just making sure." Matthew looks so damn smug, but Leon's learned to find that endearing too. "Only place left to go is up, right?"
Right. Leon said something like that to Matthew, once. You win or you lose. Only two options. If you lose, then all you can do next time is win. If you win, you keep winning until you make it to the top. Anger into action, failure into fortune.
Matthew's hand slips down Leon's forearm, searching for his hand, but stops when Leon flinches, and brushes a callused thumb back and forth over the bruise there.
"This from Pietrangelo?"
Leon huffs. "Maniac, yeah. It's fine. It wasn't as bad as it looked."
"Want me to rough him up a little if I see him down the line? My treat. Actually, it'd be my pleasure."
There's that blinding confidence. The Matthew that's going to ensure they blow right past Carolina, through Dallas or Vegas, and raise the Cup. Who's dumb enough to argue with him?
"If you want." Leon's almost too tired to smile, but he tries anyways.
And Matthew softens too, cheeks pinked and teeth showing between his parted lips. It's hard to think back to a time when he would never look at Leon like this; like he's so fucking in love with him it's physically impossible to hide it. Leon can only imagine how he looks to Matthew.
"I'll make you another deal while we're at it," Matthew says.
"A deal or a promise?" Leon knows what's coming, because he knows Matthew. His heart still jumps up into his throat.
"I'll win the Cup for you."
They've learned to say I love you in a million different ways. Somehow, they keep finding new ones.
It's so stupid. Matthew's not arrogant. But then again, he seems to be playing a game no one else is, in a way no one else can. He oozes confidence and bleeds charisma, possesses the kind of karma that can change destinies.
If anyone could actually say it, and do it, it's Matthew. Damn if Leon doesn't believe it, too.
So all he has to do is smile, nod, and say, "Okay."
"Just to be clear," Matthew says, "I'm not doing it for the Oilers. I'm doing it for you. And for me and the Cats, obviously. Maybe... maybe a little more for me and the Cats. No offence, babe."
Leon snorts. "It's fine. It's yours. You earned it."
"So have you." Damn right he has. "Shit just sucks sometimes."
Leon scoffs and rolls his eyes to whatever unseeing deity keeps fucking him over. But he's done wallowing. He's got something so much better standing right in front of him.
"You said this was a deal." Leon tugs him closer, one hand cupping the back of Matthew's head, pressing the words against his mouth. "So what do you want from me?"
Matthew smiles under his lips. "I just want you to be there to see it."
#hockey#mattdrai#matthew tkachuk#leon draisaitl#my writing#asks#of course the tragedy of the panthers losing the finals to vegas and matthew's injury looms over this one. I do so love dramatic irony#at least leon is there now so he and brady can both help matthew when he's hurt#matthew is upset they didn’t win and he couldn't keep his promise to leon but leon is like 'your bones are broken please calm down'#i'm actually usually pretty indifferent to petnames but I am so enamoured with matthew calling leon 'babe' I can just hear it#sometimes I don't think I can write romance because I'm very aromantic but then I write shit like this#and suddenly I'm like well damn I guess love is real#once again thinking I should be sued for defamation because I'm pretty sure 'min fic' does not mean 2k but oh well
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you know for a community that loves to preach creating a safe place for everything weird and not understood by the world some of you are awfully mean
#why are we threatening to kill folks. now come on#especially if they are being nonprovocative and trying to explain their point of view#like CALM DOWN. even if you disagree with someone you dont have to be mean and you especially dont have to make threats#dan yips#its just so disheartening seeing things like that in the community tag like guys. guys please#may actually create a dni for once because like. while i understand dnis are largely ineffective#i really dont want that sort of being on my blog :/
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It took all of two seconds with Nawin for the fandom to collectively go “ah yes. the perfect man” and I love us for that
#laws of attraction#laws of attraction the series#give me more nawin please and thank#I love unhinged chaos ex boyfriend still in love with charn#now give me poly with the three of them#also tinn helped calm charn down a bit I’m sure he can at least tame nawin a tiny bit#just a tiny bit though#just enough to make him able to occasionally exist in polite society for one minute#before nawin eventually breaks and needs to unleash his madness before he explodes#it will be great give me the poly ending I want for once in my life please
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uh. hmm
seems like twitter folks are starting to feel the tea is ice cold there and are coming here hoping to recycle the same tired takes
#sonic prime#please calm down and realize where you are exactly.#the world is a less miserable place once you relax and just let other people have their fun#guys it isnt that deep. i promise#laugh at a silly gif and then come into the light babes
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being autistic sucks dude i fucking hate it here
#i try to be social and talk about the things i like and i get told to calm down#like???? am i not allowed to be excited#i dont understand kt#its like im some kind of plague#as soon as i start talking about bailey or something people go wuiet#i really dont want to talk on dolcord anymore. theres always someone saying something that upsets me#people make fun of me for liking bailey or for making him ooc or some other shit#just let me enjoy myself. please.#i just want to be happy. just once. just let me enjoy a character for once.
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