#But please keep the National Rally as weak as we can.

[istoppedlurkingforthis]

I hate that this is what hope looks like today:

This is a terrible outcome. You need to understand that. But it could have been so much worse if the representatives who stood down between rounds one and two hadn't. If the turn out is high enough, we could make the FN (National Rally) have a minimal majority.

That is the best outcome we get today. Terrible though that is.

Please, if you have a vote in this, vote today. Lets give the FN the narrowest majority we can.

[fantasyinvader]

I think the translation was hiding the truth about Edelgard. You guys know me, how I've been trying to piece together what her character was supposed to be before the localization happened, where we have her coming off as harsher initially, downplaying her lying to and manipulating others as well as it could, before finally making her seem better in her ending. I mean, it does lead into a very questionable ends justify the means due to the translation trying to downplay Edelgard's oppression of the people and instead make her about freedom.

Looking at those changes, anything Edelgard says she's fighting for can be eliminated as in the Japanese script she outright confirms she was attempting to sway Byleth. Like when she says that this war is about restoring the Empire, yet she's defending Nemesis, making Wilhelm out to have betrayed humanity, and denounces the faith that helped found the Empire in the first place, Edelgard isn't restoring the Empire into what it once was. If anything, she's everything her ancestors fought against, which could explain her saying she didn't want to betray Rhea in the JPN as she knows Rhea is supposedly her ancestor. She says she'll fight for freedom yet subjugates and oppresses the masses, she's against corruption so she'll just eliminate every noble who refused to bow down to her while maintaining the positions of those who do, she's against the Goddess yet will make her own messages out to be the teachings of the Goddess, against the false history yet spreads lies and misinformation for her own benefit, for meritocracy yet steals credit for Byleth's leadership and assigns Caspar to controlling the military when he can't even keep the army under control as the Empire invades other nations, world for humanity yet turns herself into a monster, champion of the weak and silent yet only rewards the strong while silencing her critics... Edelgard says one thing, does another just like when she offers Rhea a chance to surrender publicly yet in private says she needs to be destroyed. And this came right after Arianrhod, where she lied and scapegoated the Church to her her entire army.

Taking that into consideration, it becomes clear that Edelgard isn't fighting for what she says she is. So what is this all about really? The answer is simple really, something that the translators changed. She wants POWER, uncontested power so that she can reshape Fodlan as she pleases. And this clicks well on so many thematic levels.

There's the whole Nirvana thing. While the BE route is meant to be Byleth's route, where the Flame of Attachment can cause them to go off script and lose access to Nirvana in the process. However, Attachment can also be seen as greed, and with Edelgard's true goal simply being to conquer Fodlan and install herself as a supreme, uncontested ruler, this can say it is ultimately her fatal flaw that prevents her from reaching her own form of enlightenment. Her ideals are simply a by-product of that greed, which in turn leads to her abandoning them when convenient despite her saying she started a war for them.

It would also contradict Byleth being reluctant to rule Fodlan but doing so out of necessity, Claude leaving Fodlan in Byleth or Dimitri's care, and how the people rally around Dimitri. Meanwhile, in addition to manipulating others into supporting her Edelgard also conscripts civilians to do so and when they resist they are executed. Rather than people supporting her and pushing her to the top like the others, she imposes her will upon them then blames the people for her actions against them.

Her turning herself into the Hegemon Husk, throwing away her humanity in exchange for power. This is after her parley with Dimitri, where she explained her ideals and was happy when Dimitri called her “strong.” Dimitri, like Byleth and Claude, his strength comes from people rallying around him. The people give Dimitri his strength, the same people Edelgard is willing to sacrifice to empower herself.

The whole “animal path” theme of her route does have a survival of the fittest aspect, where the strong prey upon the weak while the weak hate the strong. Her going after Rhea for being a Nabatean, a long-lived and powerful being, as well as saying she could never trust her hints to Edelgard acting on some level of fear to those she viewed as stronger than her. This would tie into the Hegemon Husk transformation, showing Edelgard's desperation in the face of a superior foe.

In Verdant Wind, Edelgard is said to be running amok much like Dimitri by Ferdinand. However, I think this ties into how she's been consumed by her desire for power. In the JPN version of Caspar's endings, it's stated that the Imperial army is conducting expeditions into other countries (where they are “often out of control”). This would point to Edelgard not being satisfied with just having power over Fodlan and sets her sights on the world afterwards. This would stand in contrast to Claude's character growth, how he wants to bring the world together but ends up rejecting forcing it upon the people and his own goal for this extends to the world. It would also link to Edelgard telling Claude during her final battle with him that she doesn't believe their ideals are the same. What's more, this also puts her closer to being like the Agarthans and how they pissed off Sothis with their warfare (Hell, Hubert even calls his forces Those Who Rule The Shadows, the cycle is continuing).

Then there's Rhea losing control of her power at the end of Silver Snow, becoming a threat that can't be talked down to by Byleth and must be defeated. Rhea becomes like an animal at that point, but is able to be saved thanks to Byleth's support allowing her to meet Sothis once again. Comparatively, we have Edelgard consumed by not just her power but her desire for it, can't be talked down, the whole animal path thing, and she doesn't get any salvation for this. Whereas Rhea lost herself due to protecting others, Edelgard lost herself and began sacrificing others.

According to the devs, Edelgard's depth came from her having two distinct sides to her. A surface level version of her we're introduced to, the noble girl, and the twist reveal that she's the game's red emperor. That once you looked path the former, you'd see that she was really the villain all along. The fact that Treehouse needed to essentially rewriter her character, to attempt to make her ends justify her means, it does show that the Western Edelgard and the Japanese version are essentially written as two different characters. It's the Marx/Xander dichotomy all over again.

I mean, I can understand why they'd probably want to change this. There was the whole MeToo movement going on, and having a story where the female lord is the villain lying to the players could attract controversy. That's exactly what happened with Rising of the Shield Hero at the time, people saying that it was an incel fantasy because the MC is falsely accused of rape at the start of the story and how wrong it is to release such a story at that time (meanwhile, there as no such controversy in Japan).

But at the same time, was it appropriate to try and justify human experiments, imperialism, lies, secret police, government censorship, genocide, oppression, and more? If anything, the translation has aged the game in a different manner that the memes of Awakening and Fates.

The truth about Edelgard is simply she's power hungry and is willing to do anything to feed that hunger.

[hejsandra1]

From Cop to Mother

It's time to imagine what can be, unburdened by what I may or may not have said in 2020.

2024-07-05

I'm not american, but both in 2016 (when I was 14,) and in 2020 I was following the American election pretty intensely. The reasons I think are not that hard to understand. And, like clock work, I'm being drawn in again. I said it's obvious why a european would be invested in the state of the most influential democracy and overall country in the world, but it's not just practical -- it's also just the american entertainment and grandeur that keeps you plugged in to everything. There are no bland american politicians, at least not on national level. Everything is at once super high stakes and silly to the point of insanity. It's also one of the few times when Twitter is incredibly fun. Ususally it's frustrating, over-dramatic, collectivistic, shallow and disorganized, full of the most minute and pointless discource, but during the election year all of these weaknesses becomes strenghts, because american electoral politics are fast-paced, aesthetical, gameified, made up of small moments that may or may not be decisive (most likely not), and small comments or clips that make or break someone's likability. And the minute is allowed to feel important, when two politicians are polling side to side. This tweet I think really summarizes the intensity of american politics the last elections, compared to european elections that are in comparision uneventful and predictable. Not even major events in other elections, like rush elections called by politicians who know they will loose them, come close the rush of finding out via Twitter that caucuses for the democratic candidates are being decides based on coin tosses.

So after the first debate I'm drawn back to twitter like an addict drawn back to a good time, and I'm not disappointed. There's a seemingly unified rallying around vice president Kamala Harris and I find myself immediately on board. Yes yes yes.

She's fun, is the main drawing point, and I don't think that's pointless. Americans want fun. They also want someone who's not on their death bed. Is she goofy? Yes. But maybe that's a good thing. All the vids Republicans are posting trying to defame her (probably sensing she's the new target) just makes me smile. She's fun. She tries hard in a way that's so obvious it loops back to being genuine.

So, okay, most of this is maybe some sort of manic cope, but it feels strangely realistic -- not just a future of escaping catastrophe one election more but genuinely moving on -- to an era of lofty liberalism, xane'd out but progressive politicians and laughter and fun. If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will start sounding like Kamala Harris saying you need to look at what can be, unburdened by what has been 5 minutes in a row. After a while it start sounding so genuienly profound. You now, Trumps strenght has always been that he can say whatever and the opposition gets frustrated because his base doesn't care, they just want him to push his politics. I do think the progressive side is accelerating towards that point. I do not care. Please save NATO and the environment and lgbtq-rights and democracy. Please do a little dance while you do it. Americans can choose between old testament fire and brimstone Father or the zoony non-dualism of a chaos Mother, maybe they'll choose mother. Maybe being unburdened by what has been is what I need in my life rn. Maybe it's what we all need. Waking up to hear the catastrophe of that debate genuinenly made me ill at ease from all the way over here. So just having hope for someone even if it's a sort of at-the-end-of-the-world type of hope, it's nice. That almost makes it more intense. Maybe this is the sort of post-all-hope manic Hail Mary that convinced the apostles Jesus rose from the dead, that this was the plan all along. At the end there's a sort of burning hope. And not hoping for anything will kill you for sure.∎

[imagines-dreams]

Hiya could you do a dating zuko and being really shy headcanon please X?

Ok, I wrote so mannnnyyy headcanons, starting from Book 2 to frickin marriage, so feel free to read part of it of a lot, wouldn’t blame you if you stopped reading cuz holy shit this was long and i just didn’t edit it well, so... Hopefully, some people enjoy it though! So, happy reading!

Ok, look, any relationship with Zuko will need a lot of build up. He’s only been in one relationship, and that was with a girl he’s known since he was a kid. Other than her, the only person he truly trusted was his uncle.

And who could blame him? His father abused him, so becoming his friend, let alone someone he’d love, would be a long process.

So, any relationship will be a major slowburn. With someone very shy? It would be that slowburn that everyone would dream of in fiction.

First meet in Ba Sing Se when he was still going by Lee. He was very closed off, but his uncle wasn’t. Uncle would be thinking something along the lines of “A nice, quiet girl?! Who just wants to lay low and would probably make a great niece-in-law?! Perfect for my nephew who keeps getting into trouble!”

Still, neither you nor “Lee” could really deny him. 

Uncle “Mushi” had learned from trying to set Lee up with Jin. No real date. Just friends first. 

There were a lot of dinners with Lee and his uncle among other friends the two had made in Ba Sing Se. Uncle Mushi usually told funny stories, and he commanded the room. Lee was just quiet. He smiled sometimes, you could count how many times you saw him smile during dinner on your hands.

Still, you two talked sometimes, mostly laughing and sharing confused looks at his uncle’s outrageous stories. 

You also would be able to see him every so often when you were shopping or just going about your day. 

You also knew they were firebenders. Or at least Fire Nation. Fire Nation refugees weren’t too common, but they weren’t rare either. After seeing Zuko write firelily once, it confirmed your suspicions. 

You didn’t say anything though. If they wanted to tell you, they’d tell you.

One night, you saw a crowd of people. They were gathered around Lee, and Lee had a sword?! “Lee!”

The boy fighting your friend glanced at you and scoffed. “Is that even your name? Or do you lie to your girlfriend, too?”

Too distracted by your fear for Lee to even process what the other boy said, you bended the earth around his opponent. One wall to block him from Lee. Another three to keep him boxed in. 

Your legs ached. Bending took way too much energy, especially since you hadn’t used it in years. You heaved and fell to your knees. 

Someone said your name.

Lee bent down and held out his hand.

You gladly took it and let him help you up. “Sorry,” you managed to say as you fell into him. You were so weak.

Lee pulled your arm over his shoulder so he could properly support you. He was talking to someone, and from your peripheral vision, you could see the uniform of the Dai Lee. 

Scared, you leaned more into Lee. 

One of the Dai Lee came to you. “Why were you earthbending?” he asked.

“Uncle.” Lee shoved you behind him and right into his uncle’s arms. “She was defending me.”

“She shouldn’t have been earthbending regardless, especially in such a violent matter.”

“Violent?” Lee’s grip on the sword tightened. “The only one who was violent was him.” He pointed at the other boy. “Accusing my uncle and me for being firebenders.”

You reached out, regaining your energy as each second passed, and placed it on his shoulder. “Lee.”

He looked back at you and sighed. Thankfully, he let go of his sword.

“We are refugees,” Lee’s uncle explained. 

A few other people from the crowd rallied for them. They knew Lee and his uncle in for the delicious tea they served. 

All while the boy Lee was fighting was screaming at everyone, how stupid they all were when Lee and his uncle were obviously firebenders. He was taken away with the Dai Lee.

You admitted that you knew they were firebenders that night. And it didn’t go badly! Their jaws dropped, and it was comical to see Lee’s face contort into more expressions you had never seen before. 

After that, the friendship only grew stronger. You picked up a few other things about Lee as well. A father he wanted to impress. An absent mother. A weird knowledge about ships and the war. There were more glances and subtle touches, him adjusting your collar, handing him tea so your fingers brushed ever so slightly, bumping elbows at the table. You even got into the schoolgirl habit of writing Lee’s name and yours and staring at him from across the room.

Then… they disappeared. 

It wasn’t uncommon for refugees to disappear, but usually they’d tell someone where they were going, if they were in trouble. 

You expected them to reappear, but nothing happened. Of course you were sad they were gone, but that’s how life went in Ba Sing Se, and you didn’t know enough about them to go searching, nor the time. 

Especially since shortly after Lee and his uncle disappeared, Ba Sing Se was conquered. Everything changed. Benders were being rounded up. More people were disappearing. The walls were all coming down. Money was scarce. Soldiers patrolled the entire area. 

During this time, you wanted to lay low, but people were getting hurt. You could only stand by for so long. 

You started to train, every night, hoping your earthbending would get better. 

So, when Ba Sing Se went up in flames, you joined in to fight for the city you felt safe in. You found Uncle Mushi there, fighting with some organization called the White Lotus. You also found out that his name was Iroh, not Mushi.

After fighting off Fire Nation supremacists, you were invited to the Jade Dragon. 

“Hey. Zuko, or, um, I guess Lee, here.” 

You had laughed and hugged him tight. “I was so scared for you,” you admitted. “I’m glad you’re ok.”

It wasn’t until one of his friends cleared their throat that you realized this hug was the first hug you’ve given him. On top of that, you were holding onto each other for quite some time. 

So, the two of you split up. 

However, throughout the get together, you stayed close with L- Zuko. You didn’t really talk much to his friends. Just the introductions and listening to their stories. They seemed really happy to tell you about how they defeated the Fire Nation and ended the war. 

Who wouldn’t be?

“You’re the Fire Lord?” you asked Zuko, away from the others.

“Oh, yeah, I am now.”

You gazed up at him. “That’s incredible.” You laughed. “Should I have bowed? I feel like I should’ve done something.”

“No. No, it’s fine.”

“Oh, then, I can still call you Zuko?”

He laughed a little. “Just not Lee.”

Just like that, you had new friends. As the year went on, you developed relationships with everyone. Sokka loved to creatively use your earthbending. (He said Toph would never let them make toys with earthbending.) Aang loved making you laugh, so he loved to tell you jokes and play games with you. Toph loved, well, trying to train you. She wasn’t the best teacher for you, too demanding and very rude, but you did learn the basics of metalbending after a few months. 

Katara was the kindest out of all of them, and you both loved telling each other stories about your lives before the end of the war. Suki insisted on training you. Even though there was no more war to fight, you had to admit, she was the perfect teacher for you. Kind but stern. 

You started to travel with everyone, giving every long-winded plan and daring choice a logical backing. Making sure the risks they were taking weren’t too great.

You visited the Zuko the most. It even got to the point that Zuko had a room made for you, with your own closet and Earth Kingdom decor. 

There were still the longing gazes and fleeting touches. You always took the opportunity to help him with his formal attire. After all, you didn’t want him to stress himself too much with that scar on his chest. 

But nothing ever happened. Even though Zuko trusted you and you trusted him, neither of you were brave enough to make the first move. 

The gaang was very fed up with it, honestly. Sokka and Toph came up with the most obvious ways to literally shove you two towards each other. Once at a diplomatic gathering in the Northern Water Tribe, Sokka pulled you towards the middle of the dance floor while Toph shoved Zuko in your direction until the two of you bumped into each other. 

Aang was in on it, too. He requested music.

Zuko and you danced, blushing and awkwardly trying to sway without being awkward. 

“I hate my friends,” he mumbled.

You laughed, the awkwardness immediately gone. “They are kinda horrible, aren’t they?” 

Still no confession, but you still had a great time dancing with your best friend.

(The gaang wanted to pull their hair out. Seriously, you two were so obvious!)

As the years passed, Zuko and you acted more and more like a couple. Where there were brushes of skin against skin slowly became holding each other’s hand during boring meetings. Where there were short-lived gazes unseen by the other became smiles and knowing looks after an easy fight. Where there were hugs before leaving became long embraces followed by kisses on the cheek. 

There were some more intense moments, like when Ozai’s supporters attacked the palace and you ran out of safety and to Zuko. While you weren’t as great as a fighter, you could still do a solid defense, and when it came to Zuko, you defended him with your life. 

“What are you doing here?!”

You grunted as you put up a wall between the two of you and the Ozai sympathizers. “Stopping you from burning the palace down apparently!”

Even after all those years, he had a tendency to be reckless.

Or the time some Water Tribe assassins tried attacking you and him and he shoved you behind him to defend you.  “Stay back!”

“Let me help!”

Everyone just assumed you were a couple, and really, nobody could blame them. 

The confession came quietly. 

You and Zuko had just finished a shift at the Jasmine Dragon. It was a day of serving the people of the Ba Sing Se, of smiles and laughter, and of shared inside jokes between you, Zuko, and Uncle Iroh.

And when it came time to go to sleep, Uncle Iroh was distraught. “I can’t believe this happened!” He dug through the cabinets, throwing various things around the small apartment. “I knew you were coming, my dear, and I forgot to get a new bed for you!”

You laughed. “Uncle, it’s ok. You’ve been busy.”

Zuko just crossed his arms. “We’ve been preparing for her visit for weeks.”

“Which is why I can’t believe I forgot to make a bed!” Uncle iroh lamented. He stroked his beard. “Hm, I would share my bed, but I tend to snore and move quite a bit. Zuko! Why don’t you share your bed?”

While your cheeks burned in embarrassment, Zuko only glared at his uncle. “Fine.”

To be fair, Zuko and you have slept in the same bed before. Sometimes work went on for too long and you two happened to fall asleep in the same bed. But all those times before were by accident on a bed meant for two. Not on a bed meant for one and not on purpose.

After the awkward tiptoeing around and offerings to sleep on the floor, finally, the two of you agreed to sleep on the bed. Zuko held you close, your back to his chest. Both of you purposely chose that position so that no one could see the other blush. 

As the years, actually minutes, passed by, the both of you relaxed into it, and it was almost natural. 

“You know,” you said softly, “that I love you, right?”

Zuko was quiet, and you hoped to the spirits he was sleeping. After a while with no answer, you took a deep breath and tried to go to sleep. 

That is, until Zuko admitted,  “I’m not good at these things.”

“Neither am I.”

The arm around your waist tightened, and you couldn’t help but snuggle closer into his embrace. 

“I love you, too,” he said. 

That was enough for the two of you, at least for one night. You two loved each other and that was enough.

The next morning was busy. The schedule was just to serve at the Jasmine Dragon and you had an appointment with some historians who wanted to know more about Zuko’s first time in Ba Sing Se. Zuko and Iroh, however, had a meeting at the palace.

Zuko was rushing around, trying to find all the pieces of his popper attire before leaving, while Uncle Iroh was trying to get him to eat breakfast. You were just smiling at all of it, pouring some cups of tea.

Zuko glanced at the window. “Uncle, we’re going to be late! Do you even have your clothes?”

“Of course, I have. But did you have food yet? At least some tea.”

“Yes, tea!” You lifted up a fresh cup of jasmine. “Zuko, you should have something before you leave.”

“I don’t need-” 

His eyes meant yours, and you only handed him the cup of jasmine tea. “You’re welcome. Also, you have some dim sum in your bag.”

He shook his head, downed the entire hot cup, and called again, “Uncle!” He smiled at you. “Thanks, bye.” He kissed you and was out the door. 

It took a few seconds, and he had left you speechless. And judging by the way he didn’t say anything before he ran out the door with Uncle Iroh behind him, he didn’t notice.

It took you a while to realize what exactly happened. 

Zuko downed some tea you gave him.

He turned around, called his uncle, then just kissed you.

He just leaned over, pressed his lips against yours for a second, maybe less. 

Then, he left.

You loved him, and he loved you. The two of you admitted that you loved each other, but the topic was too heavy and scary to clarify it further. Was that kiss a sign? Were you two together? Was that kiss some sort of rite of passage?

The rest of your day went by in a fog. 

You served tea. You smiled and had polite conversations. You listened to historians and corrected a fact here or there. 

And when Zuko finally came home, you were preparing the food you had bought, and you were frozen for a second.

“Uncle’s gone out for dinner.” He let his hair down and ran his fingers through it. 

(He had been growing it out. You had learned that hair was really important in Fire Nation culture, and apparently, before he and Uncle left for Ba Sing Se, they cut their hair, some sort of symbol that they weren’t working for the Fire Nation anymore)

You just hummed and started to prepare a serving for Uncle’s late night snack. But then! Zuko was behind you and looking at the food you had gotten.

And you were silently screaming on the inside! Because if you just turned around, and if he just leaned down, you two would be kissing. And he already kissed you! But he didn’t seem to remember that! He was just! Casually talking to you!

“What did you get?” he asked. Such an innocent question from a man who wasn’t innocent because he had kissed you

You barely managed to stutter, “O-oh, some, uh, pho.” You smiled and handed him his share. “Here!” Immediately, you turned back around to avoid him

And Zuko, baffled, just stood there, unsure as to why you were acting so strangely. You weren’t mad. Whenever you had some sort of problem with him, you would retreat into yourself, unintentionally give him the silent treatment, almost as if he was a stranger to you.

But this, the awkward glances and the too-quick movements, that was new territory. 

At first, Zuko thought it was about what had happened the night before, but just as he was about to ask again, he remembered what had happened in the morning.

The kiss

He groaned. “I’m sorry. I told you I was bad at this!” He didn’t throw the bowl of pho on the floor, but the bowl did make a loud sound and soup did spill when he let it fall onto the table. 

You turned to see him covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” When he uncovered his face, he didn’t meet your eyes. 

Zuko looked so sad.

And you couldn’t have that. You loved him too much to let him be sad. 

Before you could even comprehend what you were doing, you were cradling his cheeks and looking up into his amber eyes. Under his intense gaze, you were a little nervous, but the want to comfort him was stronger. “I’m bad at this, too.”

And then, you were kissing him

And it was everything. Kissing the man you loved, it was the best feeling, because you were trying to take care of him, he was trying to take care of you. Holding you close and rubbing circles into the small of your back, all to comfort you.

And when he pulled away, Zuko told you, “You’re not bad at that.”

You laughed and nuzzled your nose against his. “Neither are you.”

Safe to say that when Iroh came home to find you and his nephew snuggled up together in the bed he forced the two of you to share, he smiled and wrote letters to the rest of the gang immediately.

There were pros and cons to Uncle finding out before you told him. Pro, you didn’t have to tell him. Con, you two woke up to Uncle Iroh cooking a large meal fit for an army and a hug for you while he shouted, “Good morning, my new niece-in-law!”

You were embarrassed, to say the least, but you felt better when Zuko tugged you closer to him and told his uncle, “You can’t possibly believe that we could eat all of this.”

“No, you can’t.” Iroh beamed. “But I can! I’m celebrating! A niece! I have a niece!” 

In two weeks, Uncle, Zuko, and you were back in the Fire Nation. 

There was a party when you arrived. Not for the Fire Lord’s return. No, it was your friends celebrating that you and Zuko were finally together.

“Double date!” Sokka was hanging off of you and pointed at his girlfriend, “We need couple friends.”

“Hey!” Aang said, “Don’t Katara and I count?”

“No, my sister and her boyfriend can’t be mine and Suki’s couple friends.” He grimaced. “I already see you guys kiss enough.”

Katara rolled her eyes and kissed her boyfriend’s cheek.

“Eugh!” Sokka hid behind you. “Save me! I’m being tortured.”

Zuko shook his head and asked Suki, “We’re leaving him home on our double dates, right?”

“Oh yeah.” She laughed and dragged her boyfriend from behind you. “Come on.”

Zuko and you were apprehensive to be seen in public, but you two have known each other for years, loved each other for almost as much time. 

“My mother was forced into marriage,” Zuko said one night, almost a year after the two of you had kissed. “My father was told by a sage that he must marry my mother to ensure the family bloodline. They were right, but in the wrong way, i guess.”

You looked up from your scroll and asked out of curiosity, “Are all Fire Nation marriages arranged?”

“No, mostly for those of an upper class. I was arranged to have a marriage with Mai.”

“How is Mai?”

“Good. I received a letter from her and Ty Lee a few days ago.”

You smiled. “Do you think they’ll get engaged soon?”

“Definitely before we do.”

Before the two of you? Even though marriage was stressful and a huge step forward, you couldn’t help the little bubble of happiness that formed in your gut and transformed into a dreamy sigh of “We?”

Just like that, the Fire Lord went red in the cheeks. “I mean, because they’ve been together longer, so I would assume if we were to get married, well-” He cut himself off by groaning, which only got you to giggle. He stared at the ceiling. “Almost a year, and I’m still bad at this.”

You smiled and took his hand in yours. “You’re not bad at this.” 

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You shrugged, and your voice softened when you said, “I can see us getting married, too.”

He smiled at you. “How do they do it in the Earth Kingdom?”

You hummed. “In Ba Sing Se, if two people were getting married, they just decided they would and move in together.” You bit your lip as you tried to think back on the times before Ba Sing Se. “I’ve heard of a tradition where people hold a party to announce their love and the ceremony ends when the couple leave for their house.”

“I see.” Zuko played with your fingers as he explained, “Here, one partner gives the other a ring, to symbolize- Wait.” He tilted his head. “In Ba Sing Se, would we be considered engaged already?”

You laughed, as heat settled in your cheeks. You and Zuko were a well-known couple in the Earth Kingdom, and since you did move into the palace, to some, you would be. “I guess we would!”

He nodded. “You ok with that?”

There was more to that question that meets the eye. The Fire Nation loved you, sure, but some parts didn’t. There was a group trying to rebel against the peace and prosperity Zuko and all of your friends have fought so hard to gain, a group that wanted Ozai or Azula back on the throne. They have made a few attempts on Zuko, none near successful. But, if you were to get engaged, they’d come after you, too. 

Being engaged to Zuko put a bigger target on your back.

“I’m ok with that.”

But, how could you be afraid of them when you had Zuko by your side?

“Good.”

You nodded. “Good.”

Zuko and you had two weddings. One in private on Ember Island with the gaang and a few close friends. It ended with you exchanging an Earth Kingdom bracelet for a Fire Nation crown. 

There was an afterparty, with dancing and a large feast. There were also speeches.

“You know, if anyone was going to marry the Firlord, I thought it was gonna be me-”

“Sokka!” Suki laughed.

“-or maybe my sister-”

Katara only rolled her eyes with a smile.

“-but if it couldn’t be either of us, I’m glad it’s you!”

“I couldn’t think of a better couple than you two,” Suki started. 

“Hey!” Sokka did not like that statement.

“Honestly, you two are already attractive by yourselves, but together?” Suki was smiling so innocently the entire time. “Hey, (Y/n), you sure you don’t wanna reconsider. I can show around Kyoshi Island sometime.”

“Ok that’s enough!” Sokka couldn’t drag his girlfriend out of the spotlight or stop her from saying how great Zuko and you were, but he did glare at both of you throughout the speech. “I’m watching you.”

“I’m sure you are, Sokka,” you told him. 

Your husband laughed. “I mean, if anyone was to take her away, I wouldn’t mind it being Suki.”

“Don’t test me, Sparky!”

It was funny how even though all of you were well into your 20’s, Sokka’s voice could still crack. 

Toph wasn’t one for speeches. She showed her love by keeping Sokka away from you two and pushing Suki towards you. She really loved the laugh. 

(You apologized to Sokka later with the gift of leftovers.)

Mai actually had a memorable speech. 

“Ty Lee wouldn’t let me put my name on her gift, which sucks.” She glared at her wife, who only smiled. “So, this is my gift for you. Not you, Zuko, but for your wife.” She smirked. “When Zuko was five he thought he could eat all the spicy food in the kitchen-”

“Mai!”

“-it didn’t end well.”

Toph also occupied Zuko while Mai rambled on about Zuko in his childhood. It was very fun.

Uncle Iroh also spoke. “I didn’t know this was supposed to be about embarrassing my nephew.”

“It wasn’t!”

“And that’s ok, because I have something on our dear bride.”

You paled. “Oh no.”

“If you aren’t aware, I knew (Y/n) during our time as fugitives, and she loved to stare at my nephew during his shifts.”

Your husband looked at you. “Did you?”

“Not that much!”

Uncle continued, “I also caught her doodling Lee’s name-”

“Uncle-”

“Please, Uncle, continue!”

Aang shave advice to the two of you. “Please talk to each other,” he said with a laugh. He recounted the times Katara and he didn’t communicate early in their relationship resulting in an unhealthy on and off relationship for a year before the two of them sat down and just talked. 

Katara gushed over how happy she was for the two of you. “Zuko was always grumpy, and I’m glad there’s someone he can be less grumpy with!”

Azula dropped in. She had escaped rehabilitation, and Zuko had let her go. It was near the end of the ceremony, and Zuko and you had snuck out to take a breather. 

He held you close as the two of you swayed to muted music. 

“I do hate to intrude.”

You yelped and the earth beneath Azula’s feet nearly threw her into the air. While her mind was still recovering, it seemed like her agility wasn’t affected. “To be fair, I did expect that reaction.”

“Azula?” Your husband kept his hand in your as he moved closer to his sister. “I-”

“Save it. I’m here to drop something off.” She held out a pouch for him to take. 

“Azula-”

“Zuko, I am not here to talk to you.”

You gulped. “Then what about me?” You smiled. “You can come home, Azula.”

If Azula was affected by your words, she didn’t let it show. 

Zuko took the pouch and by the time the two of you looked up, she was gone. 

Inside were two rings. 

Zuko laughed. “She probably stole these.”

“She could be living an honest life, too, you know?”

“Possibly. We don’t have to use these.”

You took the rings in your hands. They were beautifully crafted, and while gold was the main color, hints of red and green were there too. “If I can’t have Azula as a bridesmaid, then we might use her gifts.”

The public ceremony took place a few months later, and it was grand and very, very public. You were not comfortable. 

You could only change so much of it, though. 

Zuko and you would pull each other to the sidelines when it all got too much. Your friends gladly made excuses when you were absent. 

By the end, you were stuffed full with food and exhausted. 

“Please tell me marriage won’t be like this all the time.”

You laughed and sluggish cuddled up into his arms. “I can’t tell you. Never been married before.”

“The first few months were nice.”

“When no one knew.”

He laughed. “No big ceremonies or dumb speeches.”

“Or embassadors or loud music.” You sighed. “Kinda terrified, to be honest.”

You could feel Zuko stiffen under you, and immediately, you added, “I’m glad you and I get to go through it together, though.”

He nodded. “I do hate life less.”

As Fire Lady, you were kind and gentle, and while you did need breathers in meetings and galas and public events, you enjoyed helping people with policy changes and additions. 

Zuko encouraged you to take risks, and when you were too tired to voice your opinions, Zuko voiced them for you. 

You also were the only one who could calm down Zuko. While his temper wasn’t too much of a problem, sometimes he was so stressed that even the training room couldn’t hold in his anger. 

You’d lead him to your bedroom and just hold him, and if he wanted to talk, you listened. 

The two of you were the definition of quiet strength, and even though assassins and Ozai sympathizers tried to take you two down, you and your family never faltered, especially you and Zuko

[ofendlesswonder]

omg can you do “We could get arrested for this.” for supercat pls? and thank you very much! hope you stay safe and have an awesome day! xo

11. “We could get arrested for this.”

Kara crashes through the ceiling of the abandoned warehouse with an almighty crash, landing in a crouch on the ground so hard that she makes a dent in the concrete.

It sends the men within scattering, and it’s reallyeasier than it ought to be, to dispatch the lot of them, fighting with a fury that she doesn’t even know she’s capable of, her laser vision leaving burnt streaks on the walls.

In the centre of the warehouse, a woman is tied to achair, blindfolded, and as Kara approaches, she begins to tremble, doesn’t stop even when Kara pulls the blindfold from her head, kneeling in-front of her and carefully releasing her from the ropes that tie her hands to the back of the chair.

“Ms Grant?” Kara asks, gently rubbing the red weltsaround Cat’s wrists from where she’d struggled against her restraints. “Ms Grant, are you okay?” As she waits for an answer, Kara gives Cat a cursory once-over with her x-ray vision to check that there are no broken bones.

“I’m much better now.” Cat’s voice is quiet, shaky, and her face is streaked with dirt, her eyes a little dazed as they focus on Kara’s face. “Tell me, does Supergirl usually lower herself to search and rescuemissions?”

“She does when it’s someone she cares about.”

Cat had been kidnapped whilst on her way to apolitical rally in National City, and Kara has no idea what the motive of the attack had been beside a high ransom demand, but she knows she won’t rest untilshe finds out.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Kara murmurs, keeping her voice low because Cat still looks very shaken, and Kara hates that it had been three days before she’d found out Cat was missing, because if she’d knownsooner, she wouldn’t have spent so long fearing for her life. “Do you trust me?”

“It’s very hard not to trust the person who just savedyour life,” Cat replies, allowing Kara to help her up and guide Cat’s arms around her neck.

Pressed against her front, Cat is warm, but she’sstill shaking, and Kara can both feel and hear her heart, hammering against her ribcage. She feels so fragile, as Kara scoops her up, making sure to hold onto her tight as she pushes them off the floor, and Cat flinches as below them, the warehouse door crashes open as police file in to arrest the perpetrators that Kara has helpfully left scattered across the floor.

She leaves the clean-up in the NCPD’s capable hands, shooting back through the hole she’d made in the roof, and taking Cat straight to another pair of capable hands, landing them on the balcony of the DEO that she favours whenever she flies into the building.

She doesn’t let go on Cat’s hand until she’s got herinto a treatment room, Alex already waiting for them, and Kara is tense the whole time Alex is checking her over, sagging with relief when her sister assures her that there is no lasting damage.

“Does Carter know I’m safe?” Cat asks, jumping out of the bed as soon as Alex gives her the all-clear, and gratefully shrugging into the DEO hoodie that Kara hands her, noticing she’s still shivering.

“Yes, he’s been staying with his father while you were… gone,” Kara answers, “but I called him when we found you, and he should be here in a couple of hours.”

“Good.” Cat’s face floods with relief. “Can you… canyou get me out of here, please?” She asks, turning on Kara with pleading eyes. “I hate hospital rooms.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere,” Cat answers, stepping close to Kara andwrapping her arms around her neck without being prompted, her breathing still shaky, her mouth pressing against Kara’s collarbone, breath hot against her skin. “As long as you stay with me.” She says that quietly, but Kara still hears it, her breath catching as she holds Cat close, and if she makes Cat feels safer, then she won’t ever let her go.

She flies out of the window and hovers high in the sky for a moment, debating where to go, and, deciding that Cat would probably prefer to go somewhere secluded, drops somewhere where she knows no-one will bother them.

“You can open your eyes, now,” Kara murmurs, knowing that Cat hates heights – probably even more so since Kara had launched her offher balcony.

“Are we standing on what I think we’re standing on?”Cat asks, dropping her arms from Kara’s neck but not stepping away as she takes in her new surroundings. “Kara, we could get arrested for this.”

Kara doesn’t acknowledge Cat’s slip, and instead flops down so that she’s seated, her legs swinging over the side of one of the Hollywood sign’s O’s.

“If anyone comes, I can fly us away,” Kara assuresher, patting the space beside her.

“Everyone would still know it was you,” Cat pointsout, but she folds herself down beside Kara all the same, huddling into her side. “Your cape isn’t exactly subtle.”

“Pretty sure no-one would try to arrest me,” Karareplies, enjoying the view that this vantage point offers them. “Are you okay, Ms Grant?”

“No.” Cat turns towards her, eyes more than a littlehaunted. “But I will be – nothing that a bottle of scotch or sleeping pills won’t fix.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, Kara.” Cat reaches out tosqueeze the back of Kara’s hand, and Kara can’t help but grab it before Cat can move away, tangling their fingers together. “You did find me, and that’s all that matters. Although I do wish we weremeeting again under better circumstances.” Cat manages to crack a smile, and Kara matches it with one of her own.

“Me too.” It’s been years since Cat left forWashington, and they haven’t spoken since, but when she’d seen the footage of Cat being taken, Kara had seen red, and it had felt like no time had passed at all. “I’d ask how you’ve been, but…”

“Wonderful, until two days ago,” Cat quips, alreadysounding more like her old self. “Who’d have thought that working for the President would have put a target on my back?”

“Maybe you should think about another career change,” Kara suggests, gently nudging Cat’s shoulder with her own. “Come back to CatCo.”

“CatCo is thriving without me,” Cat replies, “as are you, Pulitzer prize winning journalist.” Cat meets Kara’s eyes, her smile fond. “I never reached out to congratulate you, and I should have done, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Kara shrugs, more touched than Cat will ever know to realise that she’s kept up with her career even though she’s long gone. “But thank you.”

“I always knew you had it in you.” Cat runs her thumbalong the bumps of Kara’s knuckles, and Kara tries very hard to remember how to breathe – if she’d thought for one moment that any of those feelings she’d had for Cat all those years ago had ever faded, she’s finding that she’s sorely mistaken, now that Cat is back by her side.

“Always?” Kara asks, raising a sceptical eyebrow. “What about when you were waxing poetic about millennials the day I walked into your office? Or yelling at me for not getting your lunch order right, or your latte being too cold, or - ”

“Watch it,” Cat grumbles, though there’s a sparkle inher eye, “you’re starting to make me sound like a terrible boss.”

“You weren’t,” Kara assures her, and Cat shoots her alook that suggests she thinks that Kara is lying. “You weren’t! Sure, you were a hardass, sometimes,” she grins as Cat’s eyes narrow into a glare, “but you were a lot of other things, too. Kind and compassionate and always trying to push me to better myself. I learned a lot from you. I never would have won that Pulitzer without you shaping me into thejournalist I am today.”

“Thank you, Kara.” Cat looks touched, and Kara doesn’t know if she should acknowledge the casual way that they’re talking about working together whilst Kara is wearing her cape – she’s known that Cat’s known for a long time, but they’ve never acknowledged it, had always let it be the elephant in the room, until today.

Not that she’s complaining – it feels freeing, to nolonger have to hide a part of herself from Cat.

“For being kind to me, and for saving me. I can’t tellyou how relieved I was to have you be my saviour, and not one of those insufferable secret service agents – you are much nicer to look at.”

“It was really no problem, Ms Grant.” She’s blushing,which only seems to amuse Cat further, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Surely we’re past such formalities at this point, hm?” Cat’s eyes are still on her face, her gaze so intense that Kara struggles to remember how to breathe. “If you’re letting me call you Kara without any protest, I think it’s only fair that you call me Cat.”

“Okay,” Kara nods, “Cat.” Kara feels her phone buzz in her pocket, and she sees a text from Alex on her screen when she glances at it. “Carter’s just arrived at the DEO,” Kara reads. “Are you ready to go back yet?”

“Only for my son,” Cat decides, climbing to her feetwith Kara’s help. “Thank you for keeping me company.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” Kara replies. “It’s beennice to see you again – even if I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Yes, it has,” Cat agrees, her hand still claspingKara’s tightly, and Kara never wants her to let go. “I’ll probably be staying in the city for a few days, recuperating – feel free to fly by and check I haven’t been kidnapped again?”

“No-one will get close to you on my watch, Cat,” Karapromises, and she’ll station a DEO agent at every entrance and exit to Cat’s hotel of choice if it will make her sleep better at night.

“Oh yeah?” Cat’s voice, unless Kara is very muchmistaken, has turned flirtatious, and it leaves her shaken. “And how are you going to make sure of that, hm?” She lets go of Kara’s hand to slide them towards her neck, dragging her palms over Kara’s collarbones and up and over her shoulders, touch deliberate enough to make Kara’s knees weak. “By staying the night?”

“I-if that would make you feel safe,” Kara says,amazed that she can speak at all with Cat so close. “Then yes.”

“Do you mean to tell me that if I wanted to getSupergirl into my bed, I merely had to ask?” Cat asks, and she’s arching a playful eyebrow but there’s a vulnerability in her eyes, and Kara’s hands are gentle as they slide down to rest on Cat’s hips.  

“Did you hit your head when you were held captive?”Kara queries, her voice so soft it’s almost carried away by the wind. “Do we need to get you a brain scan? Because the Cat I used to know definitely didn’t want little old me.”

“Oh, but she did,” Cat says, and Kara’s heart nearlystops. “I wanted you very much, but there was a very long list of reasons why it would be a terrible idea.”

“So what changed?”

“I thought I was going to die,” Cat murmurs, and Kara’s jaw clenches at the mere thought. “And all I could think about, stuck in that damn chair, was all the mistakes I’ve made in my long, long life, and through it all, my biggest regret has been letting you slip away, even though I’d convinced myself that leaving CatCo was the best thing for the both of us.”

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“I never wanted you to know,” Cat replies, “but now, I… I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try, and if you don’t feel the same way, then that’s fine, because it’s been years and I’m twice your age, and - ”

Kara cuts her off with a kiss, soft and chaste,because she doesn’t want to hear another second of Cat putting herself down. Cat gasps against her lips before she’s kissing her back, and Kara sighs as shepulls her closer, because as far as first kisses go, it’s pretty damn perfect.

“Come over tonight?” Cat asks when they part, the both of them hyper-aware of the fact that time isn’t on their side, with Carter waiting for them back in National City. “And we can talk about everything?”

“Just let me know when and where.”

Cat kisses her again before they take off,open-mouthed and messy, and Kara’s head is spinning so much that it’s a miracle that she doesn’t crash into any buildings on their way back to the DEO.

[anonfanfic]

8. “Do not challenge me.” 13. “That’s your choice?” 18. “I did what I had to do.”17. “You’ll know when I’m angry.” All in the same story, like a fight between Clarke and Lexa, Clarke defying Lexa's authority

Clarke could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she stood defiantly in front of Lexa. She hadn’t been in Polis long, but she knew that being the newest ambassador in the coalition meant standing up for her people. 

Lexa stood from her throne and took a step down. She walked over to stand close enough to Clarke that she could feel Lexa’s breath on her skin.

“Do not challenge me,” Lexa’s lip curled and she pulled back her shoulders to stand taller. “This is not the place to stand against the coalition.” Lexa’s tone held a little less edge as she took a step back and put her hands behind her back.

“Sit down, Ambassador Griffin.” Lexa spoke in Trigedasleng, starting to turn back to her throne.

“No, Heda.” Clarke responded back in the Grounder tongue. “I can’t stand by while you plan to slaughter my people.” 

Lexa froze and turned back around, her eyes looking around at the other ambassadors sitting and watching this unfold.

“It was Skaikru who started this war. We will not let this injustice stand.” Lexa clenched her jaw, preparing for Clarke’s reply. Neither woman seemed ready to budge and if this escalated further, Lexa wasn’t sure she could save Clarke from imprisonment for this treachery. 

“But, it wasn’t all of Arkadia. Innocent people don’t need to suffer,” Clarke’s voice broke despite her best effort to keep it steady. She reached out to try and touch Lexa’s arm, but stopped herself when she saw the stoney expression on the Commander’s face. “Please…” She finished weakly.

Clarke watched for just a brief flash as Lexa’s expression broke and her eyes softened as she stared in Clarke’s eyes. 

“Blood must have Blood, Clarke. You know this.” Lexa seemed to be ready to end the conversation as the murmurs around them started to grow.

“Then let’s make it the right blood. There are many people in Arkadia who want to be in this coalition, under your command.” 

Lexa pursed her lips together, her patience fraying at the ends as she let out a sharp breath through her nose before speaking.

“What do you suggest, Ambassador?” Lexa’s entire body was rigid, the softness Clarke had gotten a glimpse of earlier was gone. Her jaw was set and her deep green eyes were locked on Clarke, even as the buzzing of voices around them increased. 

“Let me go back and bring you the people who slaughtered the peace army. They will be alive and once they are in the capitol they can face whatever punishment you see fit.” Clarke made a show of bowing low to Lexa. She knew she was far from overstepping her place. All she was thinking about was her mother, Kane, Lincoln, Raven, and the countless others who had nothing to do with the massacure. 

Lexa lifted an eyebrow, her forehead furrowed in thought. Clearly, this had not been what she had expected Clarke to offer. 

“This is your choice?” Lexa’s voice was even, as she turned once again and walked over to her throne. She turned to look at Clarke, but did not sit down.

Clarke nodded, “This is justice for those who were killed and mercy for those who did not commit a crime.” 

Lexa looked around the room at the other people who were now completely silent under the gaze of their Commander.

“What say you ambassadors? I will send a small party of soldiers with the ambassador for Skaikru. We will bring the guilty to Polis to face their crimes. Those in favor?” Lexa lifted a hand and Clarke watched as ten of the other leaders followed suit. Azgeda - the Ice Nation and Delfikru sat silently looking up at Lexa without lifting their arms. 

Lexa took the time to stare at each ambassador in turn before speaking again.

“Very well, the majority of the coalition is in agreement and this is what will be done.” Lexa’s voice carried through the large room, somehow seeming to get louder as it echoed off the stone walls.

Lexa turned to Clarke once again. “However, should the ambassador come back with no prisoners or...fail to return.” Lexa swallowed heavily before finishing. “We will storm the gates of Azgeda and spill blood for the hundreds of lives lost to us.” 

Clarke looked at Lexa and a clear moment of understanding passed between them. This was all Lexa could do to ensure Clarke’s people would be safe for now. If she failed, Lexa would have no choice but to kill them all.

“Clarke will have one week’s time to bring back those responsible for the deaths of our peace army.” Lexa’s eyes never left Clarke as she spoke. “After her time has run out we will meet again. Either to kill the prisoners or to rally our forces for war.”

Lexa lifted her hand and with a single gesture the meeting was adjourned. The other ambassador’s wasted no time leaving the throne room. It was quite clear to see Lexa’s mood had turned sour and many of those present had seen first hand what she was capable of, if given the opportunity. 

The room cleared after only a few moments and Lexa waved away the two remaining guards so she and Clarke could be alone. Clarke’s heart was once again racing, wanting to beat it’s way out of her chest and onto the cold stone floor. 

“That cannot happen again, Clarke. Azgeda will look for any weakness in the coalition to break it.”

Lexa walked down and stood in front of Clarke. This time her posture and expression was more relaxed, though her tone still held an edge of warning that Clarke couldn’t ignore. They did care for each other, but Clarke knew what Lexa was capable of and did not want to revisit their past.

“I did what I had to do.” Clarke didn’t know how else to respond. She couldn’t just stand by and watch every single one of the people die for Pike and his small militia. 

“I hope you made this choice with your head and not your heart. It’s more than just Arkadia that hangs in the balance. It is everything I have worked for since becoming Heda.” 

Clarke took a chance and gave Lexa a weak smile. She reached out and took Lexa’s hand, expecting Lexa to pull back from the intimate touch. Clarke was surprised when Lexa gave her hand a tight squeeze and pulled Clarke closer.

“I didn’t mean to make you angry.” Clarke’s heart was starting to calm down. She didn’t want to think about what tomorrow would hold or how she would bring Pike to Polis. All she wanted to do right now was forget the world with Lexa for the rest of the night.

Lexa used her free hand to wrap around Clarke’s waist and bring their bodies together. 

“Don’t worry. You’ll know when I’m angry.” Lexa’s smirk was wicked and lopsided as she pressed her lips against Clarke’s in a passionate kiss. Just like that the world around them started to melt away.

[itsyourchoicedevotionals]

Wide-Eyed Wonder

“I, the LORD, have called You to demonstrate my righteousness. …You will be a light to guide all nations to me. You will open the eyes of the blind and free the captives from prison. You will release those who sit in dark dungeons.” Isaiah 42:6-7NLT

Isaiah 9 painted many pictures of our Christ: “great light,” “a child,” with titles: “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Gentle, powerful, filled with good will— Christ who will usher in the millennial reign. Isaiah 11:1-5,10ESV relates, “a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root. …the Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him--the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. He will delight in obeying the LORD. He will never judge by appearance, false evidence, or hearsay. He will defend the poor and the exploited. He will rule against the wicked and destroy them with the breath of His mouth. He will be clothed with fairness and truth. … In that day the Heir to David's throne will be a banner of salvation to all the world. The nations will rally to Him, for the land where He lives will be a glorious place.”

Isaiah 52 reveals the battered Man, Jesus, V13-14NLT “See, My servant will prosper; He will be highly exalted. Many were amazed when they saw Him --beaten and bloodied, so disfigured one would scarcely know He was a person.” Mel Gibson tried to encapsulate this “beaten and bloodied Christ” in— ‘The Passion.” Gibson came closer than other producers, none come close to the scriptures’ rendition.

Read on to Isaiah 53 and see Him as the suffering Servant, the Sacrifice. His life given to heal, save, bring peace, wholeness, freedom and well-being—prosperity— to everyone who would receive Him. V3-8NLT “He was despised and rejected--a Man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on Him and looked the other way… He was despised, …we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses He carried; it was our sorrows that weighed Him down. …we thought His troubles were a punishment from God for His own sins! But He was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! All of us have strayed away… We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on Him the guilt and sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet He never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, He did not open His mouth. From prison and trial they led Him away to His death. But who among the people realized that He was dying for their sins-- that He was suffering their punishment?”

Should you choose to disbelieve Isaiah’s report, you can read the reports of Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23, John 19 and the writings of Josephus. Isaiah foretold truth! There is nothing fictional about Christ. Knowing all this, why then did I, a Christian, find believing for healing, peace-relationships, wholeness— mental health, freedom, well-being —prosperity, even financially so difficult to believe and receive?

Jesus gave me the answer in Matthew 18:3TPT “…Unless you dramatically change your way of thinking and become teachable, and learn about heaven’s kingdom realm with the wide-eyed wonder of a child, you will never be able to enter in.” The wide-eyed wonder of the child in me had been replaced by knowledge of God’s Word, of the world, disappointments and heartaches. Age had calloused my heart. And you?

Are you willing to unlearn life? Once again to become a child trusting Jesus and Father God? It’s your choice. You choose.

PRAYER: Father we believe, help us to erase maturity and grow in faith instead, in Christ Jesus’ name I pray?

by Debbie Veilleux Copyright 2020 You have my permission to reblog this devotional for others. Please keep my name with this devotional as author. Thank you.

[rottenbrains]

Daichi X Reader

Wordcount : 1871 words

Warning(s) : There’s spoilers (a bit) but it’s safe. I actually wanted to make it as an angst but gave up halfway. I decided to just post this to show how shitty and suck my writing became as I finally realized my assignments are still piling and i’m still procrastinating. Send help please! cause i’m still craving for Haikyuu and desperate for the second half this July!

Clenched fists and sore throats. The game against Shiratorizawa really got you at the edge of your seat, with a tense atmosphere and heavy pants from both sides of the court. You might faint if you stayed seated for any longer as the tension keeps on escalating, with the members trying to score a double point to end the game. Standing up, you went to stand beside Tanaka’s sister while firmly gripping the hem of your shirt. The pressure was evident, easily spotted with only a plain glance towards the prolonged-rally at the court. Everyone was cheering with them all, shouting and hoping for their win when Hinata made his back-attack jump, making the court goes silent.

Received by the opposite’s libero, but it bounced off. Out of the bounds.

There goes it.

Their double point.

The whistle is blown.

21-19, Karasuno against Shiratorizawa.

It’s sealed, finally. They’re going to the Nationals. Weak by the knees, you fall down as you watched your boyfriend hugged his buddies while the juniors just roared with all their might.

“Y/n-chan!!! You okay??? They’ve won the match, now stand up and show yourself! They’re greeting the audience…” Saeko-neesan called to you, pulling you by the arms to help you stand up. Still shocked, you tried to stand up with her help as you feel warm tears on your cheeks.

Nevertheless, you stood up proudly as you overlook each of the members standing at the court facing you. Finally, as your eyes set on Daichi, your eyes just sting all the more as he kept his eyes on you.

“Arigatou Gozaimasu!” They all shout as they bow. While everyone was clearly applauding and congratulated them from the stands, you just sobbed and wiped your eyes harshly after managed to wave at the exhausted captain. Soon after, the ceremony continued as you calmed yourself down. As soon as it was over, you joined Saeko-neesan with the others to meet the team.

“SAWAMURA, YOU PRICK!” From a distance you hollered his name while sprinting towards him, attacking him with a punch to his stomach and bone-breaking hug afterward. For a girl shorter than him to punch him, you sure are packed with strength as he grunted from the punch and reciprocated your affection.

“You do realize that we’ve just done playing 5 sets of the game, right?” He asked, putting his chin on top of your head as you hugged. The realization hits you.

“…Congratulations. And I love you, too~” You said, muffling your voice on his body before you released him and skipped towards the coach, followed by Shimizu. Forcefully, you poked his sides, making him yelp in front of Takeda-sensei. Annoyed, he turned to look at you as he put on his angered face.

“What was that for?!” He glowered, and much more annoyed when he saw you raising your eyebrows in a playful manner. Shimizu was about to ask when Koushi went to your side, interrupting the silent conversation.

“Coach, can (Y/n) join us on the bus later? It’ll be fun to have her around…especially for the captain who lost his tooth yesterday…” Koushi asked, poking fun at the captain when he’s not listening.

“Since she’s practically our third manager, and helps with the training…” Shimizu pointed out, also trying to help you to join them later.

It’s true though. You’re in the same class as Shimizu, and you've been helping her manage the team from behind since there’s a lot of things to do if Shimizu did it all alone. With the cute new manager, the workload has somehow decreased so you’ve been helping them a lot less than before. But with the new members and their abilities that are to be reckoned, the team had made an explosive comeback and of course, the workload increased again. Not that you wanted to complain. From those workloads, you got yourself a boyfriend. It’s a win-win situation. You get to help your friend manage the team, you get yourself a guy.

When your brother knew about it, all hell breaks loose. He’s a doting brother, alright. And he’s also the coach of the team. Damn your luck. Keishin glared at your boyfriend whenever you came to the court to visit Shimizu and Hitoka, which is all the time. And your luck was just getting started.

You were playing with the kids that same to your gramps’ house to learn volleyball when your brother dragged Hinata there. You were supposed to be playing just for fun when the old man decided to ask you to teach him. There goes your playtime because now it’s time to start throwing balls and lecturing Hinata about tempo.

The next day, your brother shocked you when he asked you to come to the gym when it’s practice time. He hates that you came there all the time, to meet your boyfriend that he didn’t know existed. Suddenly, now he wanted you to come? This is, what we call bad omen.

“Since your brats are familiar with her, starting today, she’ll be the assistant coach. So I expect full cooperation and professionalism.” Keishin highlighted the last words while looking at Sawamura. You were about to object when your brother cut you.

“At least this helps your skills to not be forgotten… Since you know how to play but decided to not play. And also, Gramps actually agreed with me, for the first time ever!”

And that’s how you started to help the team with receives and serves. All that mess, and now you’re sitting beside your boyfriend as he chowed on the food with the others. Your brother is busy talking with Sensei about the improvements and hardships to come while the energetic four sleep through the dinner, too tired to even lift the chopsticks. Slowly, you excused yourself and went out of the shop to enjoy the view outside.

Orange-painted sky with crows cawing from afar, you sat outside the store as you looked at the sky wondering about yourself.

“You should at least eat first…” a gentle voice rings your ears as you felt a solid arm wrapped itself around your shoulder. Sawamura was getting himself comfortable, scuttled a little beside you before sitting still with his arm around you.

“Well… I’m not really hungry. But for you, you should at least rest and eat inside” You mumbled when you saw two piece of fried shrimp he was holding with his arm that was around you. He waved the shrimps in front of you, a signal to tell you to eat it. You pulled one of it with your mouth and chewed it slowly when he releases his hold on the one you’re chewing on. He retracted his arm and took the shrimp to his mouth, then slings it back to your shoulder. Both of you just enjoy the shrimp while looking at the colorful horizon.

“So…what made my girlfriend furrowed her eyebrows for a while now?” Sawamura asked, breaking the silence after a while. He looked straight at you, while you glanced at him from the corner of your eyes, not really in the mood to look at him. You just continued to look at the sky, staying silent to think about your answer.

You don’t even know why are you like this. Looking at the sunset, you didn’t really feel bothered or whatever. So when your boyfriend mentioned your furrowed eyebrows, you started to think. You started to think about the unpredictable future. The chances of winning. Tiring practices. Exams. Universities. Lives after highschool. Your boyfriend. You’re not actually bothered by anything until he mentioned about your mood today. And you’re not trying to say it’s his fault that you’re actually started to feel anxious about the future when he asked you just now. Thinking about everything, now you actually furrowed your eyebrows on your own accord while gazing at the sunset.

Maybe, the sunset has this tremendous power to make people think about everything. Who knows?

Looking at your crinkled forehead, Sawamura pecked your cheek.

“There go those eyebrows again… Now, care to tell your boyfriend?” He asked again, much softer than before, whispering to you before laying his head on your shoulder.

“…It’s nothing, actually. I was just thinking about the future…” you spoke softly, to match his previous tone of asking. Breeze danced through your hair, making the stray ones goes wild on your head, fluttering like dead leaves.

“So you’ve been thinking about the future…why?” He inquired, confused about what had caused you to think that.

“Hmm… sunset? I’m not sure… I’m not actually thinking about anything before. But, when you said my eyebrows are crinkled and furrowed…then I started to think about the future…” I said, while fixing my hair, “what will happen after this? You’ll be busy with the Nationals… then there are exams… how will our future play out? What will happen to us? Everything is so uncertain it makes you wonder… out of every situation played on your mind, which one will be the reality??”

Silence. Sawamura was just steadily breathing beside you that you would’ve thought that he fell asleep as you blabbered about your sudden thoughts if not for his chuckle.

“Haha, you’re being extra sentimental today…” He answered, slowly moving his arm from your shoulder and it slithered back to your waist, followed by his other arm. “Yes, the future is uncertain. We’ll never know what will happen. But, make sure that you remember this… I’m always here for you.” He remarked as he tightens his hug on me, kissing my cheek on the process.

“Hey, I told you to rest. Not to hug my sister in the public!” Your brother growled as both of you heard the sound of the shoji screen being pulled.

“Sorry coach, but I need this…” Your boyfriend answered cheekily at Keishin as you just giggled.

.

.

.

Tomorrow

“Y/n… there’s a red spot on your skirt…” Shimizu whispered to you, before stealthily passing you the pad as she put it inside your blazer pocket. You were about to sit when Shimizu stopped you, forcing you to stand up again. You guys were at the cafeteria and Daichi definitely saw the thing slipped to your pocket.

“That explains your mood yesterday…” He said shyly. Embarrassed, you take off your blazer to tie it on your waist as you walked hastily towards the nearest toilet.

.

.

.

“Y/n, faster now… or we’ll be late to meet the others.” Daichi said as he pulled you forward, dragging your slow footsteps to meet Koushi and Azumane. Soon, you saw both of your old friends standing in front of you as Koushi and Azumane are currently shaking their hands according to their ‘non-existent secret handshake’.

“Ohh, it looks like our petshop owner came waltzing at us with the police officer clinging to her…” Koushi cooed at you as he pointed at both your hands, linking together, tight like glue.

“Shut it, you,” I said while slapping his hands. He pouted from the contact as Azumane just laughed at our antics since it’s been a while since all of us are gathered together like this.

“Now, let’s go find seats before there’s none left… I believe none of us wanted to miss this match” Daichi said in his typical-team-captain tone, tugging at me so that I can start walking. Soon after, four of us are struggling to get past the sea of humans to watch the battle of our beloved juniors.

[tarrastovar]

Tarras Tovar – Swedish Champion in Squash Some of my moments in squash.

No. 1 / Mohibullah..

Drysdale Cup, the Junior World Championship, Royal Automobile Club, Pall Mall, London, 1972.

Mohibullah Khan from Pakistan, seeded no. 1, in the final beat Peter Verow, Englands no.1, in 3 games and 30 minutes. /I lost in the quarter/. After the match, Mohibullah took of his new white Fred Perry shirt with dark blue monogram M.K., folded it, and put it back in the original plastic bag as if it was never used… I remember seeing the iron marks on the shirt after the match. He never passed the showers… “The lessons for me”: Pakistanis are fit on the court.. they seldom sweat in Europe.. if they don´t need to shower, they don’t.. and they are very good in squash…Squash Incidents, for the History Department.

No.2 / The Yellow Dot.

Drysdale Cup, early rounds, RAC, London, 1971.

One of my junior team mates in the Swedish National Junior Team, /we can call him Lars/, was warming up on the Centre court. The normal, a bit tense atmosphere was in the air. A packed gallery, with many well-dressed ladies and gentlemen in suits. Several officials from the English SRA, including John Horry and the referee Jack Gilles. After a couple of strokes from my friend, we could see that he was not happy with the bounce of the ball. He took up the ball, looked at it. Turned around to Jack Giles.. –“This is not a yellow prick”.. –“Jack, do you have balls with a yellow prick?”….

/For non Swedes, dot in Swedish is called prick/

 No. 3 / Inflation in Egyptian Club.

Gezira Sporting Club, Cairo, Dec 1975. In training for the Swedish National Championship, in Mars 1976.

My coach Abdel Wahed Aziz, a fantastic coach and friend, had the idea to train in Cairo for the Swedish National Championship. I followed his advise, bought a ticket and travelled to Egypt. In Cairo at the best club, Gezira Sporting Club, with several pools, squash, tennis, gym, polo, horse track, restaurants and bars. I looked forward to 3 fantastic weeks of hard training… Some of the best Egyptian players played at the club, Gamal Awad and his brother Mohamed Awad to mention the best. The courts at the time was outdoor courts with a cotton cover if rain should start. During one of my matches the first week, rain started and the cover was not in place until the floor was covered with water. A very interesting experience to slide around the tiled floor, /no wood flooring/. The match continued with a funny flat and strange bounce of the ball. My squash improved considerable during those weeks, playing different players of world-class, in a different environment to say the least… However, off court I was not used to service from servants and ball boys doing their best to please a Swedish guest. Every time I was served a drink, food, washing of clothes or a sport massage, I gave some Egyptian piaster in tip. Not much in Swedish currency, but enough for 20 of the service personnel to every morning stand in a line and do a military salute when I entered the club.. -“Good morning Mr. Tarras”, as they bowed. I didn’t understand why I got the extra treatment until one of the older members in the club explained. –“ You give to much in tip, to many piasters to the service boys.. You create inflation in the club, please stop”.

/Two of my other favorite clubs in Cairo are Heliopolis Club and The National Club also called Ali Club/

No. 4/ My second National Senior Title..

Linkoping, March 1976, Swedish National Senior Championship.

After jungle training in Cairo and some extreme hard training for 2 months in Stockholm.

Quarterfinal against Mike Nathanson, a Saturday morning on the way to the semi-final. Semi at the center court against Lars Kvant in the afternoon. Lars had up until that year always difficulties beating me. We started at 16.00. Full house and packed in the gallery. Two all in games after almost an hour. The fifth new dry shirt on, a half-liter of Gatorade and two salt tablets, before entering the court and the fifth.. I was quite tired but in an extraordinary fighting spirit and fit like never before /or later/. Lasse who is a fantastic fighter started very well in the final game 1-0, 2-0, 3-0, 4-0 serve back etc. 5-0 and 6-0 in his favor. At 0-6 in my perspective in the fifth, I wasn’t on top in any way… I felt the pressure, as any good player feel stress being down 0-6 in the final game. I remember the closeness to the cracking. Ideas about trying wild winners often come up under physical and mental pressure. But I stayed disciplined, thinking of the old saying and advice, that it’s never too late to turn the match. He could start to relax etc.. I got the serve back and 1-6, 2-6, 3-6, 4-6, 5-6 in one hand without losing the serve. My thought was almost back in the match, hang on I told myself. 6-6, 7-6 and Lasse started to feel the pressure, to my pleasure… He also looked tired and a bit stiff in the legs. The effort and success in the last 5 minutes up to that moment gave me more adrenalin pumping in the blood system. Next 8-6 and match point, still without losing the serve from 0-6. A long and very tiring rally, with plenty of deception and tricks, ended with a nick shot from my side in the backhand front corner. The match. Lasse was very quick to congratulate. –“ I saw the silver cup at the tin, was his reflection”. The lesson for me was, Never Give Up. When the opponent starts “seeing the cup at the tin”, go for Lex N-G-U. The next day I was unstoppable in the final vs. Mikael Hellstrom, and my second title a fact. Squash is fantastic when preparation, a clear strategy, and the flow are in place at the same time…..

 No. 5/ Strip Poker on the court..

In the early 80’s, I was in the starting process of a relationship with a very nice looking, intelligent, and in squash very promising girl /no names/. That summer we had exclusive access to a squash center for training. The center was closed to the public for the summer. The idea was that I should increase her squash skills as much as possible in a couple of weeks.. We did all kinds of traditional training in the first week. The second week, I felt that we should renew our training method to get excitement and creativity back. I introduced some new rules.. The rules: The match is played in the best of 13 games. After every game you lose, you have to take off one piece of cloth. After three games, the shirt, the skirt, and the wrist band were off.. After six games the picture was different.. I will always remember the matches that summer, as something extra regarding fighting spirit, motivation, and excitement on court…

 No. 6/ In Sportsman’s Bar at Hong Kong Football Club, Happy Valley, Hong Kong, Mars 1992.

First time I met Colin Butterfield at my HK club, he told me after our match /my win 3-1/ why he was in Hong Kong. His words: -“I was working as a pilot for RAF in England. But I have problems with loops and advanced spinning, I used to vomit in the mask and cockpit. My balance is a bit to good.”  After some severe vomits, the RAF management wanted a meeting with Colin and started: -“We have two news for you Butterfield. One good one and one bad one. Which one would you like to hear first?”Colin: -“The bad news.”RAF Colonel:- “You are fired from the Royal Air Force. /Colin had a salary of approx. 40.000GBP a year/.Colin: And the good news?”RAF Colonel: -“We have arranged an employment for you with Cathay Pacific, as captain on 747’s”. / The salary at Cathay was four times the one at RAF at the time/.My reflection: -“Always go for the bad news first”.

 No. 7/ The World Team Championship, Birmingham, UK, April–May 1976.The Swedish International Team, myself, Lars Kvant and Mikael Hellstrom were in top form in late April after a very tough and long season. Team leaders were two brothers and former Swedish Champions, Ulf “The Organizer” and Bosse “The Doc” Jacobsson. During the ten days long event Bosse had had his pockets full of chocolate bars for distribution to us players at the right time to keep our blood sugar level at a perfect level. After several group matches, we were in the quarter final against Egypt. Micke started by taking on Gamal Awad. After some very good play and some fireworks from Gamal, Egypt won the first match. The second match was Ali Aloba and myself. As I had played a lot in Egypt, I knew their strength, tricks and weakness and was prepared. I played one of my best matches in my career and won 3-1. With 1-1 in matches the final and deciding match was between Lars Kvant and Mohamed Awad. Lasse started well but Mohamed slowly worked himself in to the match. At 2-2 in games and 8-8 the tension was “On a Top”. A couple of minutes later 9-9, with match points going to Sweden, and back to Egypt several times. After yet some minutes Mohamed sneaked a lucky shot in to the nick, and closed the win for Egypt. Very close but no cigar for Sweden. However neither before 1976 or after, have The Swedish National Squash Team done a better result in the World Team Championship.

[sciencenewsforstudents]

About 95 percent of U.S. public schools hold drills to prepare for possible shooters, says the National Center for Education Statistics. So far, there are no clear standards for those drills. Some run-throughs have been intense, with loud alarms, shots and make-believe shooters and victims. Others have been more subdued. Teachers and students practiced finding safe shelter inside locked classrooms or other places. Researchers are still studying the effectiveness of different types of drills. Meanwhile, some experts have concerns about the emotional impacts that these precautionary drills might have on students.

If done well, a lockdown drill can lower anxiety in students. It also can teach them good, adaptive behaviors for that time when a bad situation might arise, says Stephen Brock. He’s a school psychologist at California State University, Sacramento. And knowing what to do can help in case of any emergency.

But some kids may find a shooter drill troubling. They may already have had trauma in their lives. Other students may suffer from anxiety, depression or other mental-health issues. Still others might just find the situation creepy. Or, they might feel that shooter drills somehow make gun violence seem normal. Here are a few ways to cope.

Realize that school shootings are very, very rare. “This is something we do to keep you safe in school,” says Amanda Nickerson of the drills. She’s a psychologist at the University at Buffalo in New York. A school shooting is “very, very unlikely, but this is the kind of thing we would do if that were to happen.”

You can say no. “If your school is asking you to participate in a highly sensorial drill, you have a right to say no if you are uncomfortable,” says Melissa Reeves. She’s a school psychologist at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, S.C. By sensorial drills, she refers to ones that may mimic the sounds and sights of a shooting.

Guidance from the National Association of School Psychologists and the National Association of School Resource Officers says that schools should give advance warning before shooter drills. Many schools also let children out of drills with parental permission.

Talk about it. Ask to see a school counselor or talk with your teacher if you’re feeling uneasy about a drill. Other students might feel the same way. “At the end of the day, we need our kids to realize you’re not alone,” says Michele Gay. She is co-founder of Safe and Sound Schools. She wants kids to feel they “have the support system of a whole classroom of students and adults.”

Watch for signs. Even if you feel fine right after a drill, it might bother you later. Or, you might feel uneasy without knowing exactly why. Trouble with sleep could be one sign, Brock says. Other symptoms might include being easily startled, constantly worrying or being unable to stop thinking about something. Even not feeling good, or almost sick, could signal a problem, he notes. If you experience any of these things, talk with a school counselor, teacher, parent or other trusted adult.

“In most cases, people participate in these drills and don’t get more anxious and fearful,” Nickerson says. “But that could certainly happen. And we want you to know that you’re not alone.” She points out that “it’s a giant strength, not weakness, that you’re able to identify a problem that you need help with.”

Be proactive. Safe and Sound Schools encourages students to form safety clubs at school. Members do service projects to make their schools safer. The clubs also can give students a chance to get involved in conversations about school safety. That can give them a greater sense of security, Gay says.

Or, you may choose to take action in other ways. Aalayah Eastmond survived the 2018 shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla. She’s now studying criminal justice at Trinity Washington University in Washington, D.C. She has testified in both the U.S. House and Senate, urging lawmakers to adopt common-sense laws to curb gun violence.

“If this is something that you’re passionate about, please get involved,” Aalayah says. Actions can include rallies, marches, lobbying and voter campaigns. “We cannot let this continue to happen,” she argues. “Too many people are dying every day.”

[imperfekti]

Tenipuri Party: Tezuka Kunimitsu profile translation

TN:

In the absence of an official English version, this translation is intended to help those who can’t read the material in the original language. Please support Tenipuri by getting your own copy of this book - it is worth it! There are various ways of purchasing it even for those not living in or visiting Japan.

The pictures I have included in this post do not show full pages.

On the translation: this time I’m aiming for a more direct, “Japanese-sounding” translation to share the mood of the content more as it is. This will probably cause some sentences to appear weird in English.

On Tezuka’s style of speech: his word choices and sentence structures are mostly polite and serious.

I’m still working on Japanese, so there might be mistakes. Please let me know if you spot any translation errors so I can fix them here!

Tezuka Kunimitsu

U-17 German representative player Seishun Gakuen Middle-school player

Beyond the imagined future - the released challenger!!

Message

“For the support every day, I’m grateful. For the sake of becoming a professional, and for the sake of my tennis, I intend to earnestly keep confronting myself. I think you are the same. In the future as well, together. Let’s go without carelessness.”

Extra prize: A voucher for two at a high-class mountaintop hotel “An undeserved honor. I’m focusing on tennis right now, but… If I can make the time, I will gratefully use it. For two, huh…”

Profile

[DATA] Middle-school 3rd year / October 7th (Libra) / Blood type O / 179 cm / 58 → 61 kg / Left-handed

Special techniques: Drop shot, zero shiki drop shot, Muga no kyouchi, Hyakuren jitoku no kiwami, Saiki kanpatsu no kiwami, Tenimuhou no kiwami, Tezuka zone, Tezuka phantom, Zero shiki serve

Playstyle: All-rounder

Family: Grandfather, father, mother

Father’s occupation: company employee (business) (grandfather is a judo instructor for the police)

Hobbies: Mountain climbing, camping, fishing

Favourite saying: The enemy is within yourself

Favourite color: Green or blue

Favourite food: unacha (a dish with eel carefully broiled in soy-based sauce), Räucheraal (TN: smoked eel)

Favourite book: German-Japanese-German dictionary (to carry with him)

Favourite music: Classical (Beethoven)

Preferred type of person: Trying not to think about it at the moment.

Preferred date spot: Zugspitze

Most wanted item: A mountain model kit

Things he’s bad at/with: Being idle, colourful cakes

Elementary school: Seishun Dai Daiichi Elementary School

Committee: Student council president

Strong subjects: World history

Weak subjects: None

Often visited place in school: The library

Uses allowance on: Books

Skill outside tennis: Woodworking, preparing fish for cooking

Routine during tournament: Keeping a diary in German, watching foreign comedy-dramas.

Favourite anniversary: 23rd August

Preferred travel destination: Macchu Picchu ruins and Huayna Picchu

Present for a special person: Writing a letter of gratitude

Scenes

Injuries, seizing the nationals… Tezuka Kunimitsu overcame numerous challenges that waited for him and seized glory. But he is not a man who would be satisfied with that. From now on too, I want to pay attention to the steep path of him who moved over to Germany.

(Quotes on pictures:)

“I will not lose.”

“Saiki kanpatsu no kiwami!?”

“And then Seigaku’s era will begin once again!”

“Now, let’s go without carelessness.”

Indeed, it should perhaps be called a “Tezuka zone”.

“Hyakuren jitoku no kiwami!?”

This boy’s tennis is certainly Ten’imuhou no kiwami!?

“No matter who I will end up fighting… I will win!”

The German representatives’ strained atmosphere connects to rapid development (*1)

Tezuka-senshu (*2) becoming a German representative was a shock. Did you not have worries about this decision?

If I said no, it would be a lie. However, as to what is important for me as someone aiming to become a professional, I judged it to be fighting as a German representative and based my decision on that.

Specifically, the currently important thing for Tezuka-senshu is…?

Most of all, it is actual experience of fighting at a higher level. At the German training centre, I have the fortunate chance to rally with top pros like Volk-senshu. Even in practice, they are always making hypotheses as to which shot they should hit, what kind of a play they should make in any kind of match circumstances when they are standing on the court. Having put myself in such a strained atmosphere, I can truly feel my level of experience rising rapidly.

Any bewilderment at facing your former comrades…?

Whoever will become my opponent will not be a problem. But, at first, I thought I was feeling sorry. However, at the time of fighting Japan in the exhibition match, I came to realise my heart was throbbing about competing against them. But just fighting as sworn friends, it is not to elevate ourselves. Rather, by putting a net in-between and confronting each other, the light can come from a new angle and hasten growth - that is what I believe right now.

Then, what is Tezuka-senshu’s current objective or dream?

Upon seizing the world, to hold up the flag of Germany that showed in me, a foreigner. If the opponent for that match were to be Japan, there would not be higher joy.

In a well-ordered and non-negligent environment, pleasant days go on

Have you already grown accustomed to life in Germany?

Yes. Everything proceeds very systematically, so in that sense, it sometimes feels like it is actually even more pleasant than in Japan.

What things for example are like that?

Everyone is already gathered around 15 minutes before the set meeting time. The notion of ecology is growing, so most customers carry eco bags for their shopping, and the separation of waste is enforced thoroughly. Everything is done logically, and it’s an environment without negligence.

I see. It suits the serious Tezuka-senshu perfectly. Then, how do you spend your days off?

Touring antiquarian bookshops is currently my biggest enjoyment. From Goethe to Ende, I have been able to acquire several original texts that I couldn’t in Japan. Also, when time and money allow, I try to go to classical concerts.

What about the German language?

The German language too is a very systematic and logical language. There are very few exceptions, as long as one memorises the basic grammar and idioms, it is quite effective to use. Of course I still lack study, and there are many points where I lack experience, but words are not the only means of communication. Rather, sometimes it is facial expressions that speak more eloquently.

Facial expressions…?

Yes. Facial expressions.

Message for Tezuka Kunimitsu

As expected… should I say. Congratulations. (Inui)

YEEES! CONGRATULATIONS!! (Kawamura)

You should still be able to grow one rank higher. Put effort into your training. (Volk)

I will definitely not forget the thing that you taught me. Let’s meet on the court. (Fuji)

I’m glad you seem to be doing well in Germany too. Eat your meals properly! (Ooishi)

Tezuka-buchou-senpai, congratulations. We are protecting Seigaku. (Kaidou)

I’ll win one day, both in popularity and tennis! (Momoshiro)

You’re not planning on ending it at this? I’m waiting for the next opportunity to fight you. (Atobe)

Congratulatioons. But I’ll overcome you soon. (Echizen)

Are you doing well Tezuka? Send something tasty from Germany! (Kikumaru)

This guy is in 4th place!? Gimme a break! You can go higher than that! (Siegfried)

Party talk

Q: Who would you like to inform about this time’s rank and feelings? A: My family. My grandfather too is always supporting me.

Q: You are being served a lot of food. A: Ooishi. I’m grateful, but it’s already enough. I’m eating sufficiently… I tasted Japanese unacha for the first time in a while.

Q: You can also take part in an improvisation skit competition. A: … No, thank you. I was able to enjoy it quite a lot just by watching.

Q: You got excited with Bismarck-san, though... A: … I was merely unilaterally lectured about how to flirt with women.

Q: Who did you come to the venue with today? A: With the German representative senpai. In addition to training, we measured the time and ran to the venue.

Q: Oh? Is there something the matter with Echizen-kun? A: No. I just thought he seems to have gained experience and grown somewhat.

History

Age 0 October 7 Birth

Age 5 Makes a mistake in dance moves in a kindergarten’s play

Age 10 June Climbs Switzerland's Matterhorn with his father

Age 11 Summer Meets Yukimura and Sanada after the Jr. Tournament, has a match Goes fishing with grandfather, catches a sea bream

Age 12 March Graduates from Seishun Dai Daiichi Elementary School

April Enters Seishun Gakuen Middle School Is hit on the elbow with a racket by a senpai in the tennis club Is told to become "Seigaku's pillar of support" by Yamato

Age 13 November Displays a sketch of mountain grass in the culture festival

January Goes to the first shrine visit of New Year with the club’s 1st year members, makes a vow of conquering the nationals

April Becomes a 2nd year Becomes the vice captain of the tennis club

June Participates in a bread eating race in an athletic festivals, places second

September Gets lots of recommendation letters and becomes the student council president

Age 14 Declines the Jr. Senbatsu invitation Around autumn Has an uncomfortable feeling in his arm

October On the field trip (Taiwan), buys tea utensils for souvenirs

November At the Allied music festival (*3) , participates in the class chorus as a musical conductor

February For the first time in his life, forgets something

April Becomes a 3rd year Becomes the captain of the tennis club

May Wins Tokyo preliminaries championship Is mistaken for a teacher at Kawamura Sushi Has a match with Ryoma on courts underneath the railway

June Wins prefecturals championship Declines offer from the special overseas JFH program Goes to the drawings for the Kantou tournament

July Is invited to Hyoutei’s opera appreciation party as the student council president but declines Start of Kantou tournament In the first round against Hyoutei, loses to Atobe in S1 Goes to Kyuushuu for rehabilitation

July 27 Wins Kantou tournament championship

August 14 Drawing for the nationals, returns from Kyuushuu

August 17 Start of nationals Faces Higa in the 2nd round, wins against Kite in S1

August 19 Quarterfinals against Hyoutei, wins against Kabaji in S2 Semifinals against Shitenhouji, wins against the Chitose-Zaizen pair in D2 Yakiniku battle, is one of the last members remaining

August 23 Finals against Rikkai, loses to Sanada in S3   Wins nationals championship Goes to the victory celebration at Kawamura Sushi

Age 15 (*4) September Is invited to Rikkai’s ocean festival, makes guest participation in a play

October 12 Climbs Kitadake with father

November Participates in U-17 camp Wins against Kaidou in the “friendly fire” matches Learns about a fishing mobile game from Marui and Kirihara In the court shuffle between 3rd and 5th court, wins against Yamato Abandons the match against Fuji midway, departs for Germany Aiming to become professional, participates in the German representative team

December Participates in the U-17 Pre-World Cup drawings U-17 Pre-World Cup starts In Vs Japan, wins against Irie-Atobe pair in the second match U-17 World Cup starts Is drawn into a fight about food by Siegfried, eats Japanese food together Wins against South Africa and Canada

Plan

(Pictured: two documents of mountain climbing plans, including itinerary, packing list and map.)

“This is from when me and father climbed during consecutive holidays. When climbing mountains, let’s make plans properly and climb without carelessness.”

Fashion

It seems he didn’t bring much clothing with him from Japan. I will give you something next time. (Volk)

With Kunimitsu’s hair style, clothes from any country would suit him. (QP)

Wearing clothes you received just like that. That’s like you. (Fuji)

Whether the person in question is aware of it or not, wearing a waistcloth is quite stylish. (Kite)

“I am not a person who is particular about clothes, but only when it comes to shoes, I make it so that I can play tennis in them.”

Room

Bedroom of the room I’m staying in in Germany There’s only bare minimums like the bed and desk that were part of the furnishings. But I’m thankful that letters and daily necessities have been delivered from Japan. Overall, I like the things made from wood and seeing the townscape from the window.

TN:

*1 張り詰めた, haritsumeta. Strained, stretched, tense. Not strained in the sense of anxious or having problems. It seems more like everyone is ambitious and focused.

*2 選手, senshu: player, athlete. I chose to leave this as it is since the interviewer uses it all the time as an honorific, and couldn’t figure out a natural expression in English.

*3 連合音楽会, rengou ongaku kai. This seems to be some kind of an annual music event that at least schools participate into.

*4 It seems like a mistake that age 15 is placed at September, not October.

[bountyofbeads]

Trump’s Paradigm of the Personal https://nyti.ms/2NwK2xW

Excellent piece by @CharlesMBlow of the Times. Highly recommend, also the comments are interesting as well.

Trump’s Paradigm of the Personal

He confuses the way he thinks he is treated with the well-being of the country.

By Charles M. Blow, Opinion Columnist

Published Aug. 25, 2019 | New York Times | Posted August 26, 2019 |

For Donald Trump, all is personal.

And in his view, he is not the executive of the company. He is the embodiment of the country. He runs the country the way he ran his business, as the curating and promotion of his personal brand.

The people who support him are customers — people to be sold a vision and a dream. The people who criticize or oppose him threaten the brand and must be dealt with.

For Trump, everything is image-based and rooted in the appearance of personal relationships. When the Danish prime minister rebuffed his overture about buying Greenland, calling the idea “absurd,” Trump threw a tantrum and canceled his visit to Denmark.

Trump discussed the episode at one of his press gaggles, calling the prime minister’s response “nasty’ and saying, “We can’t treat the United States of America the way they treated us under President Obama.” He went on to say: “She’s not talking to me. She’s talking to the United States of America. You don’t talk to the United States that way, at least under me.”

No, actually, she was talking to him.

America was not being dismissed or disrespected. This proposal, which sounded like a joke, was being laughed at. And this president hates being laughed at.

Everything in Trump’s view is about whether someone is nice or nasty to him. It’s not about the country at all. It’s not about historical precedent or value of continuity.

His dislike of his predecessors — Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and even Jimmy Carter — is personal, not rooted in policy. He has a particular obsession with Obama, and has set about to undo everything Obama had done.

It’s petty and small and beneath the presidency, much like Trump himself.

I believe that Trump has had a longstanding belief about how China should be dealt with, but I believe that the current trade war is as much a personal beef with the Chinese president, Xi Jinping. Trump thought that he could play rough and that Xi would fold.

That was silly and shortsighted. The U.S. presidency is term-limited. China’s is not. The Chinese may experience pain from the trade war, but they can afford to wait Trump out.

The fact that Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve, won’t attempt to manipulate the economy in ways Trump thinks would be favorable, but is instead operating as an independent thinker, Trump takes as a personal slight. Trump appointed him. Trump demands loyalty and blind obeisance.

When China announced another round of retaliatory tariffs this week, Trump had a Twitter meltdown, tweeting ��... My only question is, who is our bigger enemy, Jay Powell or Chairman Xi?” and sending the markets into a tailspin.

Trump hated North Korea’s Kim Jong-un before he loved him. Kim has played Trump like a fiddle. Kim has baited Trump into two summits, where Trump got nothing and Kim got a priceless public relations moment. Kim can just send Trump love letters and do what he wants and surrender nothing. In Trump’s paradigm of the personal, Kim likes him and is his friend.

Vladimir Putin is also exploiting Trump’s personal need to be liked — his weak man’s desire to be admired by strong men. Trump has a deep and mysterious affection for Putin. Yes, Putin helped to get him elected, but I’m not sure even that explains the way Trump genuflects for him.

Everyone around Trump knows his weakness: He is a bottomless pit of emotional need, someone who desperately wants friends but doesn’t have the emotional quotient to know how to make and keep them. So, they flatter him and inflate him.

They have all become major-league yes men and women.

None of this is good for the country. The presidency is not owned; it is occupied. It is bigger than any man or woman. Men have grown into it, but they have never subsumed it.

The presidency must have one eye on the past and one on the future. It must place national interest over personal interest. It has absolutely nothing to do with any one person’s feelings.

In George Washington’s farewell address of 1796, he said:

“The nation which indulges towards another a habitual hatred or a habitual fondness is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest.”

Trump is trying to embody the country and to lead it astray in the way that Washington warned against. Trump is a slave to his emotions, and this impulse is doing great harm to the nation, both internally and on the world stage.

I’m not sure that damage is irreparable. Our democracy, though fragile in many ways, has proved remarkably durable in others. But there is no doubt that the damage Trump is doing is deep and will take time and effort to undo.

Trump’s personal problems will leave a national scar.

COMMENTS FROM READERS, ADD YOUR THOUGHTS AS WELL:

""Trump’s personal problems will leave a national scar." More like an open wound that won't heal. 60 million citizens have succumbed to his bombast, and to date there seems to be no weakening of their support. That will take years if not decades to heal. It may never. Iraq and the Bush years were tragic, but with President Obama we started a recovery. Even with one of the deepest recession, we all pulled together, and we started the to build jobs again and pulled out of the recession quicker than the rest of the world. We lead the way. But literally within days of Trump taking office the country started it's tragic descent into the abyss. And there is no end in sight."

CHERRYLOG754, ATLANTA

"Because this president views himself a king, like Louis XIV, his actions and words smack of "l'etat c'est moi". Which is a fancy way of saying, what Charles just said, he thinks he embodies the nation, not leads it. Which is funny, because if you are the nation, wouldn't you have a better appreciation of its history, culture, mores, and values? One would think so. I watched the world leaders at G-7 and except for Trump, each shows a keen understanding of what their country represents and where it's headed. Even newbie Boris Johnson is well educated, even if his bombast often resembles that of Trump. More important, they know they are leading their entire countries, not just a small base of ardent supporters. Trump's problem is he can't grow his base, because he doesn't want to: the best part of his job is the one he shouldn't be doing on the taxpayers' dime: holding political rallies to boost his ego." CHRISTINE MCM, MASSACHUSETTS

" In other words Charles, Trump lacks the temperament to be President. Anyone who is honest with him/herself knows that. Even the Republicans in Congress know this. The problem is that neither they nor Trump's base care."

JAY ORCHARD , MIAMI FL

"It makes a sort of sense that Trump expected his "tough guy" act with President Xi would result in Xi giving in. Just as he thought his thrown down the papers and stamp out of the room would make Speaker Pelosi grovel for whatever he wanted. Trump, in the private sector, could choose his victims, and he made sure they would at least perceive he was far richer and more powerful, (whether he was or not) so he could, bluster and rage, doing as he pleased and demanding whatever he wanted. That doesn't work when you become a public employee, which the President is, and Trump has no other rabbits to pull out of that same tired stage hat. And he clearly can't figure out why it's not working any more."

1DCAce, LOS ANGELES CA

"There's nothing mysterious about the President's admiration for Mr. Putin. Putin has made Russia into exactly what Mr. Trump would like to make the United States: an authoritarian plutocracy where the super-rich can do absolutely anything they want — except dispute the legitimacy of the government — while everyone else is kept in line by voter suppression, state-controlled media and churches, and an intimidating security apparatus."

JL WILLIAMS, WAHOO NE

"From my understanding of Trump, his greatest fear, going back to his early days in NYC, is that he is not taken seriously. It's an old vs new money sort of thing, as far as I can tell. He tried to buy his way into big money society by assuming a false name and giving the media false numbers about his personal wealth he was so desperate to prove his real worth. He put gold plate on everything he touched, hoping that would show how wealthy he was. Still, no one took him seriously. And now he's finding that world leaders fail to take him seriously as well. You can almost hearing him thinking -- I'm in the White House, surely they'll take me seriously now. But alas, he's the poor little sort-of-rich boy that no one wants to play with. He doesn't care about the country. He only cares about himself. And he still finds that no one takes him seriously. Sad, as he used to like to say."

AVRDS, MONTANA

"Excellent observations as usual from Charles Blow. I would only add that Trump's form of mental illness is dangerous. It is not innocuous, rather it is pervasive and boundless. That renders him an immediate dangerous to our nation. Immediate. That means he must be removed office immediately. Failure to do so opens the door to sheer disaster and that is exactly what we are looking at everyday he remains office. Disaster." INDEPENDANT, ALABAMA

"After World War 2, our allies respected the United States. Mr Trump has destroyed this respect. Now, our once-firm allies are looking to go around the United States and put their countries first. This will result in a race to the bottom. Trump has diminished the US - and succeeded in making China and Russia great. However, it’s important to remember the this isn’t just Mr. Trump. The vast majority of Republicans like what Mr Trump does, not seeing the damage and reveling in his tough-guy rhetoric. When the damage becomes too obvious to ignore, they’ll say that Trump was’t really a Republican (as they did with George W Bush) They will also, of course, blame Democrats for the consequences of Republican policies. Pity that Republicans, including Mr Trump, seem incapable of taking responsibility for their own actions."JOHN M, OAKLAND

"For Trump, the sun rises and sets in himself. He cannot conceive of anything without inserting himself somehow. He cannot make any move without calculating how it will benefit him personally. The farthest from what a leader should be."NM, NY

"In my more than 60 years I have never experienced a President who truly believed the nation, the American people, excluded all who did not support him. Nor millions of my neighbors who were fine with that idea if they considered themselves as part of that group of supporters. This, to me, is among the most dangerous things which this man has unleashed. My disappointment in my neighbors goes very deep. We will get past Trump, but not the millions of our fellows who like him."DAGWOOD, SAN DIEGO

"Countries can tragically and suddenly head in the wrong direction. In the 1930s, Germans were the most educated in Europe with Berlin the leading city in Europe. Ten years later, the country and most of Europe was destroyed. 75 million dead. It can happen here." SOMEWHERE, AZ

"I have a hard time seeing where it is all personal with Trump. He is faithfully carrying out two agendas, one of the white nationalists and one of the extreme libertarians. It is hard to tell how much of his rolling back of Obama's accomplishments are personal and how much is agenda driven. There seems little question that Trump will have done permanent damage. Western countries will no long be able to trust the US again as they did in the past as another Trump could be elected in any future election. It cannot be quantified how much he has set back efforts to fight climate change but it would seem to be considerable. Can white nationalism be put back in the bottle? That seems unlikely. Trump has uncorked some of the worst stuff in the US population. It is anybody's guess whether the country can return to its previous level of civility." BOB, HUDSON VALLEY

"In the same address Washington also spoke about the three big threats that could destroy America: too much debt, influence of foreign interests and political partisanship. hmmmm" AERYS

"People keep trying to find rational explanations for Trump's behavior. I don't think he generally acts from anything more complicated than going with what makes him feel good. He, and those around him, often say that when he feels attacked, he punches back. That is consistent with a lot of the strange things he has done. Punching back makes him feel strong and he likes that feeling. The problem is that governing is complicated. If Trump's feelings are hurt, he seems to feel justified in throwing a temper tantrum. That tendency to bluster in an effort to intimidate may work for male gorillas, but leaders of governments ought to know better." BETTY S, UPSTATE NY

“The U.S. presidency is term-limited.” The US presidency was term-limited. Does anyone really think he’s joking when he talks about being in office another 10 or 14 years? He’s not going to leave willingly. The bottom line here might end up being whether the military will support his coup."

CLAIRE ELLIOTT, EUGENE OR

"Rather than making America great again, 45 has made America a second rate country. Our allies no longer trust us to keep our word. Our enemies see that our leadership is faltering. It will take years perhaps decades to regain the trust we once enjoyed throughout the world. People see that 45 has not thought out anything he says past the current news cycle. There is no vision for America, no grand plan, nothing."

PSCHWIMER

"Now that this "president" has decided that he has the authority to order America's private businesses to cease all operations in China (which would entail crippling a great many of them financially), it seems to me that the 25th Amendment truly needs to be invoked. Which is to say that the walking apparition named Mike Pence should visit the Oval Office along with the leaders of both houses of Congress and as many of Trump's cabinet members as can be rustled up and tell our delusional chief executive that he has no such authority over private industry and that he should immediately and publicly acknowledge this. He should also explain that the order he had delivered was intended only as a suggestion or a recommendation. Should he refuse to go along with this, it would be clear that he's fully entered the realm of madness (as his private obsession with China would already seem to indicate) and that his removal from office would thereby become necessary. If we weren't already at such a critical juncture we could spend a good deal of time discussing Trump's own business connections with Beijing and arguing that his preference for having his (and Ivanka's) branded merchandise produced there should dictate that he not impugn other American business executives for doing the same thing (let alone "order" them to cease doing so). It's too late for idle speculation, however. Mad King Donald really has to go." STU FREEMAN, BROOKLYN

"I have to think that Washington's words would be met by Trump with blank incomprehension, not merely because the language is hard (by comparison with Trump's own "cartoon-bubble" mode of communication) but because understanding it would require Trump to betray his own most firmly-held convictions." PORTLAND, OR

"Thank you, Mr. Blow, for another strong column. This president's bizarre behaviors have led to complete demoralization and discouragement for U.S. citizens. How can a powerful country be so feckless when it comes to getting him out? Someone commented that the 25th amendment wouldn't work because it's for cases of complete incapacity. I assume they mean physical incapacity. In the case of mental/emotional incapacity, does a President have to be drooling and catatonic, or fly into a rage on television? Is it not enough that he lies constantly, proposes buying another country, frequently insults allies, calls himself the chosen one, decrees that private businesses shall exit China, and flip-flops in divergent directions on important national policies during the same 24-hour period? If it were another president in another time, members of Congress would have taken Trump in hand and led him away to restore order and standing to our country. But no, Congress is on vacation and Trump golfs while the Amazon burns."GWOO, HONOLULU

"The Greenland episode is classic Trump: throw out a crazy initial offer and see what happens. But international politics is not pure business. Greenland was never up for sale by Denmark. Trump's behavior makes him look wholly irrational and by extension makes the American voting public look like a population of fools. Trump displays isolationism with "America First." Other countries should take this seriously. In fact, they should quarantine the United States. They should do so until America can figure out how to elect a sane president and a stable cast of supporting legislators in Congress. Indeed Trump has a penchant for calling those he dislikes "nasty," but that term is reserved for women in power, such as HRC and the prime minister of Denmark. Trump befriends ruthless dictators in countries like North Korea, Russia and Saudi Arabia -- leaders who actively torture and kill their people -- without referring to them in this way. Trump is also already backtracking on China. He will not let the economy crumble before the election: after all, it's his only real "selling point." Trump maintains a particular disdain for Obama because he is black and Trump is an overt racist, as demonstrated by violations of the Fair Housing Act in the 1970s to the Central Park Five to birtherism to Charlottesville to the Squad. The election next year is bound to be a close one. Do what you can to see that Trump does not win a second term."

BLUE MOON, OLD PUEBLO

[billehrman]

Hope Springs Eternal

Global tensions ratcheted down this past week which led to rallies in all financial markets, a slightly steeper yield curve, a decline in the dollar, and higher commodity prices except precious metals.

Specifically, Hong Kong’s government backed down on the extradition bill with Chinese approval; Chinaannounced that high level trade talks with the U.S. would be held in October after lower level meetings this month; and Brexit appears delayed until after the end of October. China’s central bank also cut the reserve ratio to the lowest level since 2007 releasing $126 billion of added liquidity. Expect the BOJ, ECB and our Fed to announce additional monetary ease this month, too. While all of this is clearly positive at the margin, the global economy needs trade deals finalized, significant fiscal stimulus and regulatory reforms to really turn around. Right now, the U.S economy is chugging along at a 2% growth rate; China is slowing to a 6% growth rate which may still be overstated; the Eurozone may already be in a recession; and Japan will slow more in the late fall into 2020 once we know if the retail tax hike goes into effect or not. You can only imagine what is happening in the emerging markets. The bottom line is global growth continues to slow and only major trade deals, huge fiscal stimulus packages, and regulatory reforms will save the day.  

We have not altered our view that the U.S market is undervalued. We remain amazed that our interest rates are so low as our economy is doing just fine. However, growth has clearly slowed from earlier quarters. We believe that our long bond would be yielding closer to 3% today if not for the flood of money coming in from abroad reaching for any positive returns. The huge flow of funds from abroad also helps explain the strong dollar, lower industrial commodity prices, and higher precious metal prices. The U.S is siphoning money needed abroad hurting overseas growth. And then there is all of this dollar dominated debt, a time bomb, to consider too.

Let’s look at the key data points of the week that support or detract from our view that there really is no place like home. While hope may spring eternal, we remain doubtful that a full trade deal can be reached nor will major fiscal stimulus packages be passed overseas near-term therefore global growth will remain stuck in a rut for a while longer. Notwithstanding, we continue to make minor shifts in our portfolio adding companies with really outstanding managements even with a more cyclical bent.

The United States

The U.S consumer and huge fiscal stimulus, a combined 90% of GNP, remain the driving forces behind continued 2+% growth in our economy. Just look at some of the most recent data points that support our stance: the non-manufacturing sector grew for the 115thconsecutive month in August with the NMI index increasing 2.7 percentage points to 56.4%, the business activity index at 61.5%, the new orders index at 60.3% and the employment index at 53.1%. The U.S employment picture remains bright too although job growth slowed to 130,000 in August including 25,000 temporary government employees. The unemployment rate held at 3.7%. We were pleased to see an acceleration in hourly wage gains, up 3.2% from a year ago. Higher wages are being offset by continued improvement in worker productivity which rose a strong 2.3% in the second quarter.  Weakness in job creation, as expected, are centered in the manufacturing and retail areas. The household survey, on the other hand, revealed nearly 500,000 new jobs were created. Trump moved ahead September 1, as promised, implementing 15% tariffs on an additional $111 billion of Chinese imports. We do not expect the impact to be as punitive on our consumer as generally perceived due to changes in currencies, shifts in the supply chains and push back by the U.S buyers. By example, Target is insisting that its suppliers eat all of the tariff increases. The manufacturing sector continues to weaken as evidenced by the ISM Supply PMI falling to 49.1 in August. New orders dropped to a seven-year low while the production index fell back to levels achieved nearly 4 years ago. Finally, the Beige Book came out last Wednesday reporting modest economic growth in August; moderate hikes in wages; and continued weakness in inflationary pressures. The report highlighted weakness in trade, the negative impact of tariffs, poor business sentiment and the lack of business investment. Chairman Powell basically confirmed (in Zurich on Friday) that the Fed will cut rates by another quarter point in September to support continued economic growth. The bottom line is that the U.S will continue to expand well into 2020 with minimal inflationary pressures. U.S corporations announced/issued over $65 billion of new debt last week with longer terms at ridiculously low interest rates refinancing higher cost debt while adding to cash. This is just the beginning. We also expect the consumer to join in refinancing mortgage debt at lower interest rates, too, therefore boosting disposable personal income.  

China

China’s actions calling DC last week to hold trade talks, permitting Hong Kong to withdraw the extradition bill, and sharply cutting bank reserve requirements said more to us about their concern that China 2025 is in danger than any economic statistic or comment in the media. Also, it was interesting to hear that China held back on implementing most of its new tariffs until December.  While we were surprised that the Caixin/Markit factory PMI rose to 50.4 in August, our checks, as well as new orders, show that manufacturing weakness is accelerating as corporations’ race to shift their supply chains away from China. Just listen to any U.S company conference call, like Lululemon and RH, and you will get our drift. China’s economy will continue to slow despite freeing up more bank liquidity. Corporations there, as elsewhere, will keep their hands in their pockets until there is real certainty on trade. Unfortunately, their consumer cannot carry the day offsetting manufacturing weakness.

Germany/Eurozone

If Germany has entered a recession, can the rest of the Eurozone be far behind? Germany’s export dependent manufacturing sector remained in contraction in August with a reading of 43.5, yep 43.5, on the HIS Markit PMI. Industrial output is declining and layoffs are accelerating in Germany. Why hasn’t their government taken up any fiscal stimulus program? That’s just incredible. We do expect ECB President Draghi to introduce another round of monetary stimulus on September 12thbut doubt that it will move the needle stimulating growth in the Eurozone. After all, it’s not the cost or availability of money keeping individuals and corporations from borrowing. It is the lack of demand for money. The Eurozone, including Britain, are being held captive by a lack of trade deals between the U.S and China, a trade deal with the U.S and an impending Brexit. Negative rates throughout the Eurozone says it all. Can Christine Lagarde save the day? Doubt it unless she can get governments to loosen their purse strings. Listen up Germany!

Japan

We continue to get mixed signals out of Japan influenced by the still anticipated hike to a 10% sales tax in October from 8% currently. Quite frankly, we remain focused on continued weakness in manufacturing activity and export orders. BOJ’s Governor Kuroda discussed that further short-term rate cuts, lowering the target for long term rates, stepping up asset purchases and accelerating expansion of the monetary base are all tools in his arsenal. When will these governors ever learn? It’s not the cost of money but the lack of demand that is pushing rates down. We continue to avoid Japan.

While hope springs eternal, nothing has changed from an economic perspective in the last week. Yes, China has made some concessions/overtures which we like but it all could be face- saving in front of the Chinese National Day celebrated on October 1. This year is the 70thanniversary for the founding of the People’s Republic of China. Yes, we are cynical, but for good reason. We still believe that we could get a watered-down trade deal before elections as it may serve everyone’s best interests. President Xi has to stabilize the Chinese economy before too many companies commit or leave China and Trump needs to win an election. Either way, we continue to believe that the U.S consumer will stay strong; technology spending is a necessity for so many reasons; and great managements will always find a way to win regardless of the landscape.

We continue to favor investing in the U.S. at this time. Our market remains undervalued especially with longer term interest rates pushed down so far due to inordinately large capital inflows from abroad. Clearly our stock market is not being priced off of a 10-year treasury yield around 1.5% and a 30-year treasury around 2.0%. If so, our market multiple would be much higher especially with our bank capital/liquidity ratios so high. Have you noticed that junk bond spreads have narrowed too indicating no financial and/or systematic risk in the system?

We made some minor adjustments last week to our portfolios after China/Hong Kong capitulated on the extradition bill; China called to re-open trade talks in October; and Brexit appeared delayed. We reduced our gold exposure; lowered our utility exposure slightly; added some cyclicality with more than one way to win like UTX; and lowed our cash reserves.

Our portfolios continue emphasize consumer non-durable companies; technology; retail like TGT and HD; cable with content; healthcare; telecommunications; utilities; airlines; some industrials with a twist; and many special situations. We own no bonds and are flat the dollar. We would like to invite you to our weekly “investment committee” webinar just as we led at each firm where we were CIO/Partner, like at Century Capital Associates, the Quantum Fund and EGS Associates. The weekly webinar will begin Monday September 16 at 8:30 AM -9:15 AM. We will send out information how to join the webinar and we hope you will find it helpful in your own investment process.

Remember to review all the facts; pause, reflect and consider mindset shifts; look at your asset mix with risk controls; do independent research and …

Invest Accordingly!

Bill Ehrman

Paix et Prospérité LLC

[ua-monoma]

.NHK LIVE BROADCAST

january 8 | 10:30am

Yuki: Good morning, viewers, and welcome to NHK Live. As I'm sure many of you are aware by now, the League of Villains released a lengthy video this morning that included footage of the mysterious attack on U.A. as well as what appears to be the torture of the Number Two Hero, Hawks. Joining us today is Monoma Neito: an individual whose family was mentioned by Hawks' attacker himself in his first ever interview regarding the matter---an NHK exclusive for all our viewers.

[The camera pans to reveal the guest, while keeping the news host within the frame.]

Yuki: Good morning, Monoma-san. It's an honor to have you here with us today to answer all the questions that the public has.

[Pale-faced even under all the make-up, Monoma only manages a weak smile, nodding his head just so.]

Monoma: Thank you. It's... a honor to be here.

[His smile falters and he glances down at his lap, hands starting to fidget as he sits.]

Yuki: Glad to hear that, glad to hear that. Let's speak more... generally first, shall we? The events at U.A. were, I'm sure, a traumatizing event for all of the students involved. Can you start by giving us your personal account about what really happened that fateful morning?

[Monoma nods at that, unsure.]

Monoma: I mean, you all saw what happened. I don't know how much I should say. ... What really happened...

[He looks off, off-camera, something catching his gaze that makes him frown slightly.]

Monoma: ... Well. I woke up, and I was in handcuffs. I think near everyone did, even if they were't necessarily targeted. And... well...

[Yuki nods intently during each of Monoma's pauses---an attempt to look sincere while encouraging him to elaborate.]

Yuki: Well...? What were you feeling in those moments? Take us through a little bit of your thought process.

Monoma: My thought process?... I wasn't really thinking about much. I thought it was a prank, honestly. It was kind of annoying, kind of funny. More annoying than funny. I was in a different room than I'd gone to bed in so that was kind of... funny. I'm sorry, I'm rambling, I don't know. It really wasn't all that interesting, how the day started-

Yuki: So what you're saying is that you initially thought that the greatest attack to ever be conducted on U.A. soil was a prank and that your first emotions of the day were those of humor.

[The interviewer nods once, leaning in a little closer to Monoma.]

Yuki: But what about when you realized that it wasn't a prank? [A pause. Some sympathy shines through in her eyes.] I know that a lot of this can be difficult to talk about, but these are things that the nation---no. The world needs to hear so that we can rally our police officers and professional heroes together to prevent something like this from happening again. And I'm sure you're well-aware of that, aren't you, Monoma-san?

[She shoots a subtle glance to someone off-screen.]

[Monoma only grows paler at how that sounds, desperately trying to interrupt as she speaks.]

Monoma: That's- that's not what I--

[Falling quiet again, his teeth grits and he bows his head, shoulders shaking slightly.]

Monoma: Of course. I'm sorry. I really am trying. I really didn't think-... It was... Someone had impersonated my friend. Someone with a shapeshifter quirk. They came into my room and I...

[He pauses, biting his lip raw, his eyes starting to shine from the memory.]

Monoma: I suppose I fell for it...

[Yuki puts what appears to be a gentle hand on his shoulder.]

Yuki: That must have been difficult, I'm sure.

[She keeps her hand there and waits for him to respond, expecting him to continue.]

[He flinches, just slightly.]

Monoma: The others had it worse, I think. I really only think of that. And how... maybe I should have been more perceptive, and then I wouldn't have-... I woke up after, the videos didn't show that. But I got free and I helped with what I could until the authorities managed to get on campus. I really did what I could.

Yuki: I'm sure that you did... Now, about how long would you estimate it took for authorities to arrive on the scene?

[Another long pause as he bites hard at his lip, clearly more nervous than he was only seconds ago.]

Monoma: I... I don't know. I never really was paying attention to the time. Maybe an hour? It all happened really fast, everything happened... really fast...

[She nods in response.]

Yuki: Yes, I can imagine... And so before the authorities arrived, what was it like on the scene? You mentioned that you were freed, but how did that come to happen?

Monoma: Um. Another student found me and woke me up. He had keys - to the handcuffs, I mean - and handed them to me so I could pass them off to other people once I'd been freed myself.

[The tension seems to ease in him just slightly once they're on this topic.]

Monoma: We pretty much did what we could as heroes in training to access the sitution and save each other. Keep each other stable while we waited.

Yuki: I see, I see...

[She turns to face the camera directly.]

Yuki: For those of you who are just tuning in, I'm here with Monoma Neito: one of the survivors of the U.A. attack and an individual who was mentioned by name in the footage released this morning. According to Monoma-san, U.A. students---who moved to the campus in order to be protected---were left defenseless and alone, scrambling to save themselves and their peers for approximately an hour before any professionals even arrived on scene. Not only that, but it seems that the people who attacked U.A. are able to mimic the actions of our loved ones in order to use our own emotions against us. It’s a dangerous time for our country indeed.

[She takes a moment to shoot the camera a silent, somber look.]

Yuki: This all becomes even more daunting when the only statements given to the public regarding the matter showcase that the school administration has made little to no progress with what must have become a private investigation of the attack. In fact, it seems as though there is a lot of in-fighting within the U.A. administration itself...but I suppose we’ll get more into that during the U.A. press conference later this week.

[Her attention returns to Monoma as she prepares to ask the next question.]

Yuki: Speaking of some of the professionals, there's one in particular that many people are now connecting you to---Hawks. In the footage released this morning, he seemed to take on a very defensive role when your name was mentioned. Could you please explain to us your relationship with the Number Two Hero?

[Monoma only slumps a little in his chair as she talks, hair hiding most of his expression as he quietly listens, though he looks... defeated, the spitting image of the gritty videos of before. He only really perks up as she directs her voice to him again, though the question itself only elicits a sheer look of horror on his face.]

Monoma: I--

[He glances straight towards the cameras, searching for- something. He looks panicked, fingers fidgetting.]

Monoma: No, I can't. I don't know why I was- why he said that. I've never really... I don't talk to him. Really. The only class he's ever been interested in was 1-A's, is what I thought, I've never been close to him-

[He's rambling now, babbling, clearly unable to really stop-]

[Yuki's eyes narrow as she struggles to make sense of Monoma's words.]

Yuki: So you're saying that you've met Hawks but you never thought he was interested in you? [She keeps her skeptical eyes trained on him as she continues.] The audio is very clear when the Monoma name is brought up... So are you insinuating that you're the wrong Monoma to be speaking to...?

Monoma: I haven't met him. I've-

[He grimaces, desperate.]

Monoma: I've been around him, maybe. I don't know. There's social media, he's popular online. I- I don't know if I'm the wrong-

[He looks frantically out over the cameras again.]

Monoma: I mean, he's a hero, all heroes tend to work with my family at some point. I don't know. I don't know why he said my name. I'm not trying to insinuate anything-

[She leans towards him once more, eyes narrowed.]

Yuki: This is a simple question, Monoma-san: do you or do you not have a personal relationship with the Number Two Hero, Hawks?

[Freezing a little, he just stares at her, stricken.]

Monoma: .. No.

[Yuki leans back in her chair, obviously perplexed. She manages a pointed look at someone off-screen before continuing.]

Yuki: I see... I suppose we'll have to arrange interviews with... Other members of the Monoma family then---to help set the record straight.

[A pause.]

Yuki: But regardless, it wasn't Hawks that brought up your name in the first place---the Number Two Hero only reacted to it, and I suppose he could have simply done so due to a hero's naturally protective nature... The real question I should have asked is if you recognize that man...

[She straightens up in her chair as she addresses the camera directly.]

Yuki: Earlier this morning, police were able to identify and arrest the individual responsible for Hawks' torture. Let's watch some of that never-before-seen footage now, shall we?

[On the screen behind Yuki and Monoma, a clip plays from outside the Midoriya family apartment. A middle-aged woman is being held back by police as she cries out for what viewers can assume to be her son. The boy in question looks wide-eyed with confusion as the cops lead him into a car.]

Yuki: Monoma-san... Do you recognize this man? [The clip brings upon a palpatable reaction from him, as his mouth literally drops open as he watches Midoriya's mother be held back away from his child.]

Monoma: Midoriya...-kun...?

[Some sort of recognition appears in his eyes before he shakes his head, stammering out.]

Monoma: Wh-what is this, you... you arrested him...!? How-- how did you-

[She smiles.]

Yuki: Ah, so you do know him! Wonderful! [She claps her hands together with glee.] While NHK obviously isn't responsible for this arrest, we're more than happy to tell you that the vile man who clearly tortured pro hero Hawks is now in police custody. Monoma-san, please, elaborate on your relationship with the arrested felon, Midoriya Izuku. [Monoma just keeps shaking his head before a hand reaches up, fisting a little into his hair.]

Monoma: No, no, you don't understand. That- that's- He's just a classmate of mine...! He-...

[He trails off, focus seeming to suddenly drift as he thinks.]

Monoma: ... It's hard to think that he could be capable of such a thing. It's really- it's really hard to believe. ...

[His hand leaves his hair, folding into his lap as he chews on his lip.]

Monoma: ... I really don't think the shapeshifter was caught, though. Who was at the attack. So. So I think it should be considered that maybe, maybe they are just... framing him... and that the police just have the wrong guy. Because while we may have had our differences-

[He winces, immediately acknowledging his words as a mistake.]

Monoma: I can't come to terms with the thought that he could ever hurt someone in that way... It's too hard to believe. Yuki: Your differences, you say?

[It's clear that her interest has been piqued as she leans towards him once more.]

Yuki: While I suppose it's possible that the shapeshifter was framing Midoriya Izuku, let's suppose that that isn't the case---let's say that it really was Midoriya Izuku who kidnapped the Number Two Hero, tied him to a chair, and tortured him for the whole world to see... In  the footage, he mentions that he, and I quote, "made you stronger"... Is there any possible way that your classmate might have done that to you? [Monoma grits his teeth, suddenly and visibly frustrated.]

Monoma: No. I don't know what that means. Clearly, he's a lunatic and-- I don't know. Maybe a reference to our classes, if it's really him. We've had to fight in class before. That's it, that's all I can imagine it was about. [Yuki blinks in surprise at the sudden change in his tone.]

Yuki: Wow... It seems like there's a lot of... animosity between you two, huh? [A pause.] So you're suggesting the possibility that U.A. is not only failing to protect its students---the shining ray of hope for the next hero generation---but that they're also pitting students together in a toxic atmosphere that may very well cause certain individuals to develop... "lunatic"-like behavior. Interesting... Very interesting  indeed...

[She straightens up in her chair once more and turns to address the camera. As she does so, the frame adjusts so that Monoma is no longer pictured on-screen.]

Yuki: And there you have it, folks: not only is U.A.---the supposed "number one" school for future heroes---failing to protect its students---our children---but they're also crafting a dangerously competitive atmosphere that breeds and promotes unhealthy behavior, unqualified staff, and a lack of ability to do what they claim to be great at doing: saving others. In this morning's interview with Monoma Neito, we've gained insight on how their students were practically abandoned by their teachers for an entire hour during the November attack; how they've possibly driven poor, fledgling hero, Midoriya Izuku, to absolute insanity...

[She shakes her head, solemnly.]

Yuki: These are dark times that are facing our country... And as citizens, all we can do is rally together and insist that our heroes do better, insist that they do their jobs and return peace back to this society... insist that they assemble all of their resources and focus them on discovering the identity of the "mystery man" that supposedly spearheaded this attack on U.A. and have him arrested---at the least.

Yuki: ........ This is Kashimoto Yuki, signing off.

[anexplanationofunfortunateevents]

the wall is Donald Trump’s binkie, and other parts of the truth

As you probably know, the United States federal government is twenty-three days and counting into its longest ever shutdown. The Democratic majority in the House of Representatives has passed a bunch of bills trying to reopen the government. Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has yet again decided to abandon his constitutional duties, and is refusing to allow his colleague to vote on any bill that might not please the Dear Leader, who in turn has said that he will not sign any budget that doesn’t include billions of dollars for his Great Wall of Freudian Overcompensation.

As with any of Individual-1’s tantrums, it’s worth trying to understand why he’s really doing it, as opposed to why he says he’s doing it.

Any number of things that we don’t know about yet could have happened to set him off. His party’s humiliating defeat in the midterm elections, and the consequences of a house of Congress being in Democratic control, may have taken a couple of weeks to sink in. He, or someone who knows a lot about his wrongdoing, may have been subpoenaed by federal prosecutors. His former personal attorney dramatically abandoned him. He may have been asked for comment on the current round of bombshell reports about his ties to the Kremlin. But I’m inclined to think it was the coat.

The shutdown started just before the holidays – after the midterms, but before the new Congress had been sworn in. The week before that, Trump had summoned Democratic leaders Senator Chuck Schumer and once and future Speaker Nancy Pelosi to the White House, surprised them by insisting that the meeting be televised, and then blustered about how he was “proud” to get all the blame for a government shutdown. He clearly thought he had set up a big win for himself.

Pelosi spanked him raw. Her coat got better press than he did. (It wasn’t even new! It was just fabulous!) 

But the 2019 budget had to be voted on. The Senate agreed to a routine bill, but House Republicans, right up until their last minute of power, decided to screw over their successors and refused to vote for anything. First thing the House Democrats did was to try and open the government back up again, so they voted on a bill just like the one the Senate agreed to – but Senate Majority Leader McConnell and other Senate Republicans don’t like it anymore because Trump’s on his whole thing about how he won’t sign any budget without several billion set aside for his magic beans dumb wall.

So here we are. Most federal agencies aren’t getting any more money until the government reopens, so they’re making do with whatever they have lying around from last year. People who rely on some form of federal aid are in trouble. Hundreds of thousands of federal employees are on unpaid leave or are working without pay. A lot of important things can’t be done without the money it costs to do them.

As an apparent way out, Republicans have been floating the possibility that Trump could declare a national emergency, so that he could use the U.S. military resources to build a wall as a face-saving stunt. That is exactly the kind of banana republic shit that the “paranoid,” “hysterical” “alarmists” have been warning about with Trump for years. As of this writing, it hasn’t happened yet, but it is a very real possibility.

There’s a lot of news focus on debunking Individual-1′s lies about the southern border. That’s appropriate; as long as he keeps insisting on racist nonsense, people should keep reiterating that it’s racist nonsense. We should also contextualize it with considerations of why he’s actually doing it.

Sometimes Trump’s fixation on the idea of a southern border wall gets mocked as “his precious,” the glimmering bauble in Lord of the Rings which drives its wearers to madness. That’s not quite right, though: the One Ring actually does stuff, whereas Trump’s wall is worthless. 

A conventional media narrative is that he’s trying to follow through a campaign promise. But, you know, why? If his voters were willing to believe that a wall on the southern border would a) exist, b) meaningfully deter immigration, and c) be paid for by Mexico…… he doesn’t need to actually do it to make them happy. He could just tell them that Mexico paid up and he built the wall, mission accomplished. Is that a ridiculous lie? Yes. Is it any more ridiculous than the other lies he’s gotten them to swallow? Nope!

Of course, the details of this particular ridiculous lie may be totally beside the point. It’s entirely possible that he just wants an excuse to keep the government shut down because he thinks it’s a way to stop public congressional hearings where Maxine Waters can make fun of his tiny hands. Maybe he really thinks that if the federal courts run out of money, the indictments and guilty pleas of his inner circle will stop. Neither of those things are true, but that has no bearing on whether Trump believes them.

Another theory is that screeching BUILD THE WALL!!! is how Individual-1 retreats to an emotional safe space. While that seems unlikely to be the entire explanation, it is certainly true. Trump is weak, stupid, and spectacularly overmatched by the job he stole. He at least felt like he understood real estate development (he didn’t), so he feels comforted by a policy that boils down to a construction project. And being hateful toward immigrants is how he likes to vent his spleen when the special prosecutor’s investigation heats up. In fact, a Trump campaign staffer recently said that “build the wall” was initially just a trick they used to make sure the candidate remembered to include racist rants about immigrants in his Nuremberg rallies. 

Trump campaign staff did not explain how they stumbled onto a buzzword which just so happened to have been poll-tested a year earlier by the criminal “data firm” Cambridge Analytica. 

That leads us to the darkest timeline scenario: we have to consider the alarming possibility that the damage this shutdown is doing is actually the point. American cybersecurity will not recover for a long time. Neither will American diplomacy. TSA agents – the people who check bags at the airport – are calling in sick because they don’t want to work without pay. Those who do show up are under the extreme strain of not knowing when they’ll be paid again, and so they are more likely to make mistakes. FBI agents think that the shutdown is a genuine national security threat. Field agents are working without pay, while the lab techs they depend on have been sent home indefinitely.

That same FBI is investigating whether the person who has claimed sole responsibility for all this is an agent of a hostile foreign power.

Even if the worst-case scenario is not true, this shutdown is catastrophically bad. But we do have to get used to considering it as a possibility.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

The House has already passed a bunch of bills to reopen the government, so you want to prioritize contacting your senators. Tell them they must immediately pass the 2018 bill that they approved unanimously last month. Republican senators need to be pressured to do the right thing here. If you have Democratic senators, let them know you appreciate that they’re holding the line.

The chances of Trump doing something unhinged and despotic – always high – have increased remarkably. If he does, keep an eye out for rapid response protests around the country. Don’t let anyone tell you this doesn’t matter. Two months ago, Individual-1 fired his attorney general in a transparent effort to end or curtail special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s investigation, and thousands of people hit the streets in protest. Guess what? Mueller’s still there.

[averyonelovesjack]

see you soon ~ zach herron

requested: yes

Heya there! So you know, due to the recent events and like school shootings and stuff, I was just wondering if you could like write an imagine where the reader is like zach’s gf and they’re doing long distance but then her school goes into a lockdown with like an active shooter on campus and she gets really scared and starts texting zach in case she doesn’t make it out alive or something? I totally get it if you don’t like writing about this topic, it was just a thought. your writing is just wow

summary: y/n faces a tragic event while attending school and her emotions lead her to question her last meeting with her boyfriend. 

warning(s): mentions of gunshots, a school shooting, slight mentions of death

***PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY GUN VIOLENCE WITHIN SCHOOLS. I DO NOT WANT TO HARM ANY PERSON***

word count: 1900

author’s note: ok, wow. this was a difficult topic to write about because it is such an important one and it is a very new and fresh (not that it didn’t occur prior to the unfortunate events at Parkland) event, along with the rally of activism surrounding it. however, it is a story that i enjoyed writing because it got me into a state where i felt a lot of emotions and i was very aware of everything around me. this was hard for me to write, but i think that as an advocate for gun control and someone who has participated in the national walkouts and will continue to, it was life changing to think about the situation you would be in as someone inside a campus locked down by a school shooting. 

disclaimer: i am not a victim of gun violence on school campuses. i do not know a victim of gun violence on school campuses. i am a student and i used research and the powerful words of students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School to write this story. please do not take my fictional story as fact of what goes through someone’s mind in a situation like this, as i do not have proof of any one’s personal thoughts during something like this. it is fictional. everyone faces tragedies differently and have different reactions and coping strategies.

thump. thump. thump. thump. 

the sound of my heart pounded against my chest and a lump formed in the back of my throat, my back sore from the hard, cement wall that we were forced up against. a drop of sweat trickled down my cheek; or maybe that was a tear, at this point there was no way of telling.

this morning was a regular morning. i woke up ten minutes late and my dad yelled at me to hurry up. i ate breakfast in the car, which consisted of half a granola bar before i hurriedly said goodbye to my dad and left the car, slamming the door much harder than i should have. i then walked to my first period class, spanish and found my friends waiting outside. 

it was a normal morning. 

Small giggles left my mouth as Zach laced his hand into mine. Despite the fact that his plane would take off in only about two hours, Zach and I walked slowly and took our time in each other’s presence. Rather than standing in the airport, sobbing about how it might be another few months before we can see each other in person again, zach and i laughed and joked and smiled. We smiled a lot. It was a nice day out and we were happy, because we were together. Even if today was the day my boyfriend had to fly back out to California, we were very happy. 

Our feet stopped as we made it to the check-in of the airport, Zach looping each of his pinkies with mine, swinging our arms around gently, “I’ll call you when I land, kay?” 

My throat was slightly sore as i tried to prevent a tear from falling; that wasn’t what this was about, this was about saying goodbye for now. it’s not going to be too long, we always made sure of that, “please. i love you a lot,” 

“yeah, yeah i love you too weirdo,” Zach played, smiling at me still while we stood in the middle of the airport. 

“see you in a few months?” i question. 

“i’ll see you tonight,” Zach reminded me of our skype date that was pre-planned. 

“you know what i mean,” I playfully roll my eyes, exhausted of having to say goodbye so often.

“it won’t be that long this time, i promise,” He swore, “we’ll see each other again sooner than you know it. I love you,” 

“i love you too,” I press my forehead against his, “have a safe flight,” 

“i’ll see you soon, gorgeous,” he pressed his lips against my softly and when we separated, i felt a part of my heart tug a little too hard. 

“see you soon, handsome,” I replied and watched as he separated our hands, pulling his suitcases towards the line and getting on it while i stood a good distance away. He looked back at me, blowing a kiss as i pretended to catch it, the two of us laughing to ourselves. I watched as he left the line a few minutes later and then I watched his body shrink in size, his distance from me increasing.

bang.  

little gasps left the mouths of each student crouched beside me as the sound of one gunshot sounded through the hallway. i closed my eyes, tucking my head into my knees and covering my ears to prevent the scary sounds from implanting in my brain.

with each passing second, i remembered the last encounter i’d had with each important person in my life. the screamed ‘goodbye, i love you’ to my mom as i ran down the stairs, the slammed door that covered the goodbye to my dad, the goodnight i’d said to my little brother last night, and the goodbye i gave last night to Zach over facetime. And prior to that, the goodbye I said last month at the airport when he had to fly home. 

I felt another tear slip down my face as I thought about it, the see you soon coming into question. in any given moment, someone could come through that door and deem me a liar.

I pulled my phone from my pocket, a sob escaping my mouth as I heard the sounds of other concerned classmates increase, sobs leaving each and every mouth. Everything about this moment wasn’t okay. I came to school this morning, dreading it as always, and now i am questioning if i am ever going to leave this school at all. Nothing about this is okay. 

I glanced at my phone, my eyesight blurred with salty tears as i opened imessage. A tear fell onto my phone, making it difficult and slippery to type. I ran my finger under my eye, trying to avoid another situation like this as I typed out the words rapidly.

zach i love you so much. i love you more than words and i wanted to spend every day of my life with you. i want to spend every day of my life with you. i hate living so far away and i hate saying see you soon because what if i don’t zach? i want to see you every minute of everyday so i don’t ever have to say see you soon again.

i pressed send, my breathing getting shaky . another gunshot went off, this one in the distance as each person in the room let out another hard gasp and sob. the girl beside me was no one i was close with, but in this moment, we looked at each other and she took a hold of my hand. i gave her a weak nod of my head, squeezing her hand with the very minimal power i still possessed. 

beside me, she mumbled. mumbled words that i couldn’t tell if they were to me or to herself, “we’re gonna be ok,” i made out, “it’s gonna be ok,” 

we’re gonna be ok, i thought, it’s gonna be ok. 

I turned on my phone to check the message, still breathing heavily as my heart thumped against my flesh. it felt as if the muscles and tissue surrounding my heart were weakening with every beat and soon enough, my heart was going to beat so hard that it ripped through my chest and killed me before any bullet could.

zach had replied; 

y/n, i love you with everything in me. stop saying that we won’t see each other again, i mean it. i will do everything in my power to see you again. where are you? have the police come in yet?

I let out a soft sob that i covered with my mouth before i replied.

i’m still in my classroom. no one has come in. there have been two shots.

I watched the three dots appear right away and Zach answered my texts immediately.

stay where you are unless the shooter comes in, y/n. you are going to be ok. it’s all going to be ok, keep telling yourself that.

zach i’m scared. 

i know, baby. i’m scared too. but i love you very much and i believe that it’s too soon. you can’t leave me yet and i’ll be sure that it’s not time.

the time pasted slowly and my legs were numb. i couldn’t feel my face, the water damage from the tears sinking in and making it impossible to feel or see anything. everything was swollen as we all sat against the cold wall for the second hour. there hadn’t been a gunshot since the second, but my stomach pained at the thought that there could be a third. a third bullet, a third person, a third injury. 

boom. boom. boom.

loud noises came from outside the hallway and i squeezed the hand of the girl beside me, although i wasn’t sure that she could feel it. everyone closed their eyes, shielding away from the door as if that would prevent us from being injured.

as the door opened widely, it’s contents slamming against the floor, we heard the loud and clear voice, “THIS IS STATE POLICE,”

A louder sob escaped my mouth as i opened my eyes, watching the several officers enter the room and begin to help people up. We all stood up, nearly collapsing on top of each other as we began to file out of the room. There was not a single dry eye in the room, not a single unemotional person, and not a single person left without scars. 

For the rest of my life, I would have to live with this event, with this terror and this pain. I might hear something pop inside the microwave and go back to that first bullet. I might come back to school and hear the morning announcements and collapse against the floor, believing it was a lock down to protect us from the danger that lurked the halls. 

The fresh air hit my soaked face as all of the students began to sprint; not run and not jog, sprint towards the large group of concerned parents. a few cheers and roars came from the crowded front lawn of the school as students ran out and attempted to find their parents, and my reaction didn’t differ from theirs. 

i sprinted faster, my legs suddenly gaining an insane amount of power as i moved faster than ever before, seeing my little brother’s backpack as he was turned to face my parents. i got closer and closer, pulling his body into mine, scaring him gently and then feeling his warm welcome. 

besides me, i felt more arms and i recognized the scents of both my parents who wrapped their arms around my body. tears escaped from the eyes of each member of my family as we enclosed around each other, scarred from this experience.

my body collapsed into my mother’s arms as i pulled out my phone, very quickly dialing the number that i had memorized like it was the most important subject on a quiz. 

ring. ring. 

two rings came and then i heard zach’s frantic voice, “y/n, are you alright?” 

“I’m out, Zach. I’m ok,” I cry into the phone, wiping a tear from my eye as I sobbed at the sound of his voice again, “they came and they got us and i’m out of the school. i’m ok,” 

“I love you so so much, y/n,” Zach said first, before quickly stating, “i bought a ticket, y/n, i’m at the airport now. I’m on my way to your city. I’ll be there in three hours,”

“Zach, i love you, you don’t have to,”

“Y/n, when something like this happens, I can’t stay this far away from you and comfort you from a distance. I’m going to come and see you and i’m going to be with you and i’m not leaving until we’re both ready,” He states, “You could have died today, y/n, and I would’ve been here in LA. I’m not ready to lose you and I can’t stay here until I know you’re ok,” 

“i love you a lot,” 

“i love you too, baby,” He told me and I could hear him moving through the airport, “i’m going to board the plane in a minute, y/n. I’ll be there in three hours. I’ll see you soon, gorgeous,” 

A small smile peered through my tears, “yeah, i’ll see you soon, handsome,”