#But not when it's contradicted /in the case it's being brought up in/ >:|

[ambrosiagourmet]

In chapter 28, Marcille lays out why the journey she's been on has been worth the pain: because they were able to bring Falin back. The injuries, the indignity, and the mess of it all - they are tolerable primarily in context of destination she believes she's reached at this point.

In truth, of course, the story is far from finished. In fact, I would argue that this is actually where hers really starts. This scene holds the seed of the very thing the Winged Lion will exploit to lead Marcille to become the Lord of the Dungeon. After all, with a desire as far reaching and deeply held as Marcille's, if the only acceptable outcome is success, what other choice does she have but to bargain with the infinite?

So let's talk about this idea - where it leads her, how Laios' path intersects with it, and how they both help each other move forward in the face of failure.

First though, I want to step back and talk about something else: the shapeshifter chapters.

With these chapters recently covered by the anime, there has, of course, come plenty of fun discussions about which version of each character belongs which other character's perceptions, and what that means.

One thing I've seen pointed out a few times is the fact that both Laios and Marcille's impressions of each other are based around Falin. Marcille's version of Laios is larger and more masculine, because those are the traits that stuck out to her in contrast to Falin. Laios' version of Marcille was directly inspired by her appearance and demeanor when resurrecting Falin.

So why is this important to a discussion about Marcille being focused on success? Well, it shows us where Laios and Marcille's relationship starts: built primarily around their shared love for Falin. It's from that shared beginning that they begin to learn about each other on their own terms.

And this is true for the whole group, to be clear. They are united by circumstance - love for a lost companion, a sense of responsibility, a desire for freedom - but they all grow and help each other beyond that circumstance. They help Senshi bury the ghosts of his past and eat some Hippogriff stew. They help Izutsumi open up to mutual love and friendship. And they learn so much about each other: about Chilchuck's family and Laios' love of monsters and Marcille's desires to live life alongside others.

In the particular case of Marcille and Laios, understanding each other is what lets them save each other. It is not through Falin that Laios talks Marcille down from the edge the Lion has brought her to, nor is it through her that Marcille comforts Laios after the demon is defeated, when it is still unclear how everything will work out.

In fact, it is very specifically the unknown fate of Falin that Marcille comforts him about.

She is willing to accept the outcome - willing, now, to embrace the journey itself, rather than only accepting it as a means to an end.

This is a lesson she learns from Laios, and it's a lesson we watch Laios learn, too.

Just before making her deal with the Lion, Marcille recalls everything that led her to that moment. She lingers on the pain, recalling the worst of their journey:

She only pushes through by remembering her goals: saving Falin, and equalizing the lifespans of her friends to match her own.

And yet, 10 chapters later, when reflecting on why she actually wants to see her goals through, it is the good parts of that very same journey that shine through.

There's an inherent contradiction here, one which Marcille doesn't know how to face. How can the suffering that she tolerates also be the love that drives her forward? How can the loss that she's worked so hard to reverse also be the very circumstance that created a world she, now, cannot stand to give up?

And Laios confronts her with the truth. Because it just is.

Losing Falin forced him to open up to others in a way he never had. It forced him to choose what he cares about, and in making that choice, it gave him the opportunity to be seen. To connect with others.

He has already had to come to terms with the fact that Falin's death has given him something - he would not have been able to kill her again if he hadn't.

There is something here that is fundamental to Dungeon Meshi's understanding of what life even is. Like, I don't think it's a coincidence that part of Laios' speech to Marcille in chapter 85 is actually first seen in the chapter where they fight off ghosts.

In 'Sorbet,' while possessed , Laios thinks that it would have been better if the dragon had eaten him, instead of Falin. The ghosts make people lose their will to live - they are dragged away from life.

When he's pulled back from that brink, Laios realizes that he can't move forward without accepting that she is gone. He even compares the way he was holding on to her to being possessed: it pulled him away from life, from the present moment.

To carry on, he must accept what has been lost, and focus on protecting the life that they still have.

Like Marcille, he has to accept the contradictions of their journey. That life means eating, and eating requires death. That sometimes one must be selfish in order to be kind, and that selflessness can easily be twisted into to cruelty.

That loss will, inevitably, lead you to find happiness that you may not have found otherwise.

This is how he gets through to Marcille. And I think part of the reason he reaches her with these specific ideas is because those contradictions are baked so thoroughly into their relationship.

Marcille only met Falin after she had been left behind by Laios. Laios was able to reconnect with Falin because she left Marcille. They both met each other through Falin, and yet they only really got to know and care for one another after she died.

And of course, that's why Marcille uses the same ideas to comfort Laios, in the final chapter. It is because of Laios that she is able to accept the journey for itself, and not need the happy ending to justify its meaning to her.

Together, they help each other move forward, and accept that they may not be able to bring Falin back.

Which, if I'm being honest... I think this is the reason Falin can come back, narratively speaking, without the resurrection feeling like it takes away from the themes of the story.

After all, she doesn't do it for Marcille or Laios - she does it for her own sake. Her own hunger and her own desire to eat are the things that lead her back to life.

All three of them, together, end the story like this: not clinging to the things they are afraid to lose, but knowing they can choose to move forward together.

And, importantly, this happy ending is no longer the thing that gives the journey meaning. Rather, it is the privilege of the journey itself that is her happy ending: the chance to walk alongside others in the time they have, to get to know each other, and to eat well.

[ivesambrose]

🤍 WHAT YOU'RE MANIFESTING NEXT 🤍

1. 2. 3.

Starting off new pick a cards with something sweet and simple that everyone can look forward to.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Masterpost

Services Offered

Thank you for the tip

Picture 1

Its likely you've felt rather helpless and alone, as though life has been testing you to the point it feels like a schedule to get to them and tick them off in your mental notepad once done. It is likely you've felt extra strained in your home environment or hometown, you may have attempted to leave but something or the other comes your way. You may have felt consistently blocked or unable to leave or unable to find a solution to a problem you've been facing in regards to your house or family.

A small part of you then decided to turn the worst case scenarios in your favour somehow. One of the ways being, "all of these sufferings will be rewarded. At least, mine will." I imagine you said this to yourself through gritted teeth. I want to tell you that the first thing you're manifesting is learning and accepting that suffering for rewards and accomplishments as poetic as they sound, shouldn't be the default settings you function under.

You're manifesting -

• A solution and clarity. No more illusions that worry you from taking the next step or making a decision.

• A community that allows you to bloom. New friends and network.

• Relocation.

• An end to apathy and boredom.

• An end to turmoil, stagnation and feeling of lack and helplessness.

• The beginning you've been anticipating as everything ends around you.

Timings: The coming 3 months.

Picture 2

You may have felt a lack of proper guidance in your life. That no matter what mentor came through or what ever path you sought to follow, everything somehow got complicated when you looked up to it. So many contradictions and so many lies. So you decided the only constant guidance are your own experiences and intuition. There's a life of adventure you seek, a career that lets you live the way you've wanted, for your words to inspire others without coming off too preachy and pretentious. Life has lacked stability likely due to external forces because you've time and time again done your best to obtain the stability that had been taken away from you. There's an intention you had set some time back and that is finally coming into fruition. Thing is, you knew it was going to happen anyway no matter how dire it seemed, you just needed to water this intention by directing your energy to it. You're manifesting -

• Increase in creativity with the energy to express it as well. Feeling in charge of your life. Leading rather than being led.

• Travelling to foreign locations for higher education or job/career. A career that lets you travel or involves travel.

• More money or increase in finances in general.

• More things or subjects to learn and achieve proficiency in.

Timings : Sooner than you expect. (Likely Gemini season for some)

Picture 3

You don't really shy away from challenges but certain incidents have made you question your faith and entire belief systems, later people and lastly yourself. You're trying to find a middle ground for yourself and also wondering how many transformations till your quiet breakdowns stop. Some of you really want to leave, something that brought you comfort is only bringing you anxiety now and giving you extreme mood swings. It seems as though you're wondering if any efforts you're putting into what you want is even worth it. Quiet your mind for some time. Even for a minute. Till the minutes eventually pass and your mind feels quiet for once. It's okay to have a head full of no thoughts at times. You're manifesting -

• Emotional regulation.

• Better health.

• Luck and expansion.

• Knowledge that you can put into use.

• For some better relationship with a maternal figure or their parents.

• Sudden wealth or unexpected wealth or property.

• Protection from distrustful and downright vindictive energy.

• Success, recognition and enjoying the fruits of your labour. Succeeding in anything you've been wanting to manifest for yourself actually. No extra steps or rules and regulations to follow. Simply acceptance.

Timings: Within 2 months.

[gentrychild]

An anon who was rereading Anyone asked me what would have happened if Izuku didn't like eggs and how you tell a supervillain you don't like what he made and that you want something. I have bravely tried to answer said ask but Tumblr laughed at my pain, so here is it, on a new post.

------------------------

When confronted with the super villain Izuku had accidentally broken out of the most secured prison in the country, a man who had basically walked out of said prison as soon as he hadn’t been restrained anymore, Izuku did the only thing any rational person would do.

He ran like hell. No shoes, no plan, nothing except Full Cowl roaring in his veins and he fled.

At least, he tried to.

Strong tendrils stopped him dead, then hands picked him up by his shoulders and suddenly, his feet weren't touching the ground and he was forcibly brought to the kitchen table.

''No, no, no,'' All for One said with the tone one would employ with a disobedient pet or a very young child. ''Your breakfast is going to get cold and we have so much to talk about. Sit. Enjoy the eggs. If you don't like them, I can make something else.''

And he dropped him on his chair, before putting the plate in front of him. Then, he sat at the other end of the table, facing Izuku, his own plate in front of him and he started to eat. Slowly, his manners perfect, while Izuku was dying of sheer stress over there.

Then, he looked at Izuku. Then at Izuku's plate.

''You're not eating?''

Izuku looked at the man who had literally reduced people to paste last night and then at his plate of eggs and bacon, then back at the lunatic who was probably going to skin him alive soon enough. He needed to do something, to get the time to find a way out of this mess.

Now, any reasonable human being would have eaten a bit of eggs and bacon – well, eaten the bacon in Izuku’s case – but he had just woken up, was in a pre-caffeinated state and truly, Izuku had never claimed to have the slightest working relationship with sanity.

“I don’t like eggs,” he blurted out.

The supervillain, the very same man who had literally gone through a prison riot of fellow villains like he was running through wet paper, was startled so badly by those four words that he dropped his fork.

“What do you mean, you don’t like eggs???” he asked like this was a ludicrous notion, like everyone’s favorite breakfast should be eggs and bacon.

“Never liked them,” Izuku lied, by pure spirit of contradiction, far more developed than for most people, for it had been left with quite the amount of room after the disappearance of all his survival instinct.

And it was indeed a lie because, once upon a time, it had been his favorite comfort food, but when he had been a kid, during one of those weeks where his mom was gone and the neighbor supposed to watch over him was busy forgetting his existence, he had gorged himself on it at every meal until he had gotten so sick of it that he had been unable to eat them ever again.

All for One watched him with something that went beyond annoyance, it was the patented look of someone who knew one was messing with him and the words “You’re a goddamn liar” were probably fighting to be left out but he had no proof that Izuku was bullshitting him and if even if he somehow had a lie-detecting-quirk, Izuku would keep denying it because he probably wasn’t making it out alive anyway so why deprive himself of the chance of annoying his would-be-killer?

And actually, why wait?

“I prefer waffles,” Izuku informed him because, after all, All for One had offered him to make him something else.

All for One stared at him without saying anything, probably thinking about all the ways he could have killed Izuku back when they were in Tartarus. Meanwhile, Izuku gave the illusion to be staring back at him when he was actually thinking about the fact the window made a faster exit but All for One would have the time to catch him before he landed seven floors lower while the door offered him more options.

All for One eventually abandoned his plate and started to rummage through the cupboards, going straight to the place where Izuku and his mom usually put the baking ingredients. Either everyone organized their kitchen the same way, or All for One had broken in so many homes that he was just a pro at using any kitchen he found himself into.

“Do you have flour?” the lunatic called out. “I can’t find it.”

Izuku had already flowed out of his chair and was making his way to the door by walking backwards, trying to radiate nonchalance and not the need to RUN AWAY WITHOUT LOOKING BACK.

“Try the highest shelves,” Izuku helpfully suggested, his hand on the doorknob.

It was where his mom put the heaviest pots and pans they usually didn’t use, since everyone in this household needed to climb a chair to access it. With a little luck, they would all fall on All for One.

Izuku left the apartment, not even bothering to fully close the door behind him, and he ran. He was in his pajamas, had found his sneakers by the door and they were still in his hands as he booked it out of his neighborhood as fast as Full Cowl could carry him and he didn’t stop until his building wasn’t in sight anymore. Then, he stopped on a bench, the couple flirting on it deciding they could do that somewhere else when they saw him approaching, and he put his sneakers on, took a deep breath, and decided to run some more, still in the opposite direction of where Todoroki was living, and then, he would figure out a plan.

Unfortunately, liquid shadows chose this moment to appear right in front of him, revealing All for One, who was holding a bag from Waffle Palace in one of his hands.

“I didn’t find any flour or sugar so I just ordered in.”

Some people would have screamed or been startled but Izuku had already ripped the bench from the ground and thrown it at All for One. The villain batted it away with his empty hand but it didn’t matter because Izuku was already half way through the park, or at least until black tendrils grabbed him and yanked him back.

 “Your waffles are going to get cold,” All for One sternly informed him before grabbing him by the back of his shirt and he warped again, this time with Izuku under his arm.

[aettuddae]

business matter — chapter 75.

↳ synopsis: two of the most important kpop companies covet a partnership with a huge global brand, only to be surprised when the deal is extended to both labels. fearing potential sabotage and cynical strategies to secure exclusivity for just one of them, both CEOs resort to desperate measures. in a bid to maintain trust and prevent betrayal before the signing, they come up with a pact: forcing a fake relationship between the leaders of their star girlgroups. if one side attempted to fail the other, they threaten to expose it all to the conservative south korea.

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[written chapter]

serim went to a hallway that was desolate and dark since everyone was at the party, there she knocked and got into an elevator. when she got to the floor above, she walked around looking for hers and karina's manager, who should be with her. it was easy since most of that level were meeting rooms that were only separated by display cases. once she found those she was looking for, she entered.

"what's happening?" she crossed her arms, leaning against the glass next to the door she had just opened, without going too far into the room.

“don't lean on it, it's going to break.” karina warned her.

serim began to shake her body back and forth creating waves that made the glass move frantically, with the mere intention of contradicting the girl.

“serim.” her manager called, implying for her to stop. she rolled her eyes and this time she did obey.

“this will be quick.” the woman in charge of karina spoke.

“do we no longer have to pretend?” the youngest assumed with excitement in her voice.

serim moved her body again aggressively, making the glass tremble behind her, wanting to break the girl's peace.

“serim!” exclaimed the other three people in the room.

"what is it? say it faster.” she hurried.

“we need you to be more affectionate.” the boy let go without further ado. “the superiors asked for it.”

"no way." the eldest refused, affirming her words by swaying her head from side to side.

“oh, now you don't want to?” karina accused her.

"and you do?" she gave her a mischievous look.

"quit that." she made a disgusted expression, scrunching her nose. “i thought you liked me.” she recalled.

“i'm not going to touch you more than necessary in front of chaeyoung.”

the vain expression of the raven haired fell, being replaced by a bored, disinterested one.

“you shouldn't have brought her in the first place.” she analyzed.

“i brought my entire group, not just her.” she clarified. “and i did it to have company and not have to follow you around like a puppy all night so as not to bother you.” she added, exhausted, no longer knowing what to do to not make her angry.

“it's your job, you shouldn't bring your girlfriend.”

“it's your job too and you always get your boyfriend in the middle.” she reproached her.

“girls, i don't care.” serim's staff intervened. “resolve the sexual tension between you at another time, now we have orders to ask you to go kiss each other in front of everyone.” he informed.

"what?" the oldest exalted.

“kiss?” karina squealed, uncomfortable.

“they told us that they've heard people…” aespa's superior thought about her words. “important people,” she sighed. “who doesn't believe you two.” she summarized.

“at first they did think you were a couple, but now it simply seems like you spend a lot of time together.” the man added.

“they began to assume that you are just very close friends.” she concluded.

“your ass.” serim opined.

“how classy.” jimin gave her a judging look.

“they even theorize that maybe you're sisters.” the woman spoke as if the memory had just returned to her head.

“that's ridiculous, we look nothing alike.” the blackhaired woman claimed.

“exactly, i'm more attractive.” jang refuted, everyone looking at her in disbelief at her comment, but she only noticed karina's stupefaction. “you're pretty too, just not more than me.” she patted her on the shoulder.

“please stop talking.” the youngest asked without expression on her face.

“dude…” her manager interrupted. “that's karina from aespa.” he tried to talk some sense into the girl.

“you're my manager.” she looked at him disappointed.

“and that's karina.” he repeated, reaffirming his statement.

“listen, just give each other a kiss.” jimin's manager spoke again. “a short one, but be seen.” recommended. “and then you give the necessary explanations to your partners.” she reasoned. “we are all adults, if they're mature people they will understand that it's your job.”

“jongin shade.” serim joked.

"i'm going to hit you." the dancer threatened.

“with those tiny hands?” she pointed to them.

“okay, now i will kill you.” she raised her fist in the air.

“let's go kiss somewhere, jiminie.” she turned on her heels and opened the door behind her, leaving the place.

“serim!” she followed her angrily that she had ignored her.

they both boarded the elevator in which they had gotten there, waiting in silence for it to reach where the party was, which didn't take that long since it was only one floor.

“listen,” serim spoke. “i'm not going to kiss you.” she made it clear. “let's say we did it and that's it.”

“you're not going to jeopardize the entire plan we've been working on for two months just because you don't want to hurt your girlfriend who shouldn't even be here in the first place.” she held her arm, turning her.

“it's exactly what you do all the time.” she reproached. “let me do it once.” serim continued walking back to where the people were.

“i have never refused a company order and you know it.” jimin followed her, frustrated. “i literally moved into your house because they wanted me to.”

“jimin.” she stopped her steps in the center of the three steps that led to the floor where the people were, shifting her body to face her again. "no-"

unable to continue with her sentence with her mouth being silenced by jimin and her velvety lips that were covered in a lipstick that tasted like some fruit, one that her brain was very focused on the sensation to kiss her as if to start guessing.

jimin had kissed serim before, but this was the first time serim kissed jimin.

she was standing on a higher stair, causing jang to have to lift her head slightly to reach, their lips not fully connected. it was a caress, fleeting, still something far away. the youngest was the one who pulled away first, without giving importance to serim's eyes that admired her from below as if they had just revealed the secret for eternal life, wrapped in tenderness. karina scanned the surroundings to make sure they had been noticed.

“i think that worke-”

“they are still watching us.” serim cut her off.

she took a step forward to her, climbing that tread that separated them, taking karina by the waist once they were at the same level and pulling her into her personal space so she could kiss her again. responding to the act of affection, the girl raised her hands to the opponent's shoulders and rested them there. this time kissing in a more euphoric and voracious way, a reaction to serim's need to feel her, to somehow get out the feelings she had developed.

for karina, it felt like a fulfillment, like something that had to happen was finally done. for her job, or whatever, she was checking a box on one of her homework assignments. and it bothered her that she didn't feel out of place, nor irritating. not even the taste of cigarettes in serim's mouth disconcerted her, but rather she felt invited to try to taste it better. if she was forced to have it happen, she was at least grateful that it wasn't an unpleasant experience.

serim didn't want to break apart, she wanted to feel that softness longer, she wanted to have her in her arms at all times. the woman had even forgotten that there were people around who were surely begging these two disrespectful women to stop making out in public, but for jang the sensation of yu's mouth was addictive. so much that the latter was again who ended the contact and looked at her for a moment before completely separating her body from her and taking a few steps back. serim was going to speak and even stretched out her arm to grab her and hold her in once again, but in a spontaneous glance that she cast to her side she saw a figure that she knew well walking away. she looked in that direction again to have a better understanding of what was happening and saw minnie with a bitter expression.

then serim ran off to follow chaeyoung.

“don't you think you should stay with me for a moment at least?” karina tried to stop her, because of the credibility of her job, but the oldest did not listen to her.

[niceandaccurategoodomensanalysis]

I was not able to find the source for this pic! If you know about it, please let me know in the comments or via direct! Thank you!

Religious trauma in Good Omens: Aziraphale's case

We talk about religious trauma and the state of constant psychological abuse and manipulation experienced by those who suffer it, using Aziraphale as an example.

DISCLAIMER

This post is about painful experiences and the different ways you can react to them. This may affect you in particular and be difficult or stressful to deal with.

Here I intend to speak to you about the trauma of Aziraphale. I use the singular not because it is a single event, but because it is a very specific type of trauma to which ours has been subjected continuously since the beginning of time: religious trauma.

WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA

Religious trauma is a complex type of trauma that usually has its greatest impact during the period of development: a person grows up in a social context that is regulated according to the dictates of any sect, which greatly influences the way they approach reality and, above all, themselves.

Often, this trauma begins to affect the existence of the victim even before they begin to speak and thus have the capacity to articulate the memories associated with it. It is not necessarily this trauma that is marked by significant events: very often it is its impact on everyday life that literally conditions the people who experience it, placing them on a well-trodden path of conventions and moral imperatives from which they must not deviate.

We are all (obviously, given the fandom) familiar with the concept of original sin. When a person is brought up with the view that we are all born sinners because we have literally inherited that sin and must spend our lives making amends for what is in our nature, several things happen:

_we live with a constant sense of shame and fear of not making it, of not being enough; _we blindly trust those who raise us and show us the way, and we may not want to see the inherent hypocrisies and contradictions because that would bring us into conflict with reality; _as a result, we have an incredible fear of authority and will tend to respect hierarchies even when they do not make much sense to us, and also try not to question what we are told; _we want at all costs to be 'part of the herd' and conform to the group, so we will suppress anything that we feel is different and might cause us trouble.

Now let's consider that, growing up in such a context, we become aware that something is not quite right for us. It could be anything from realising that we have sexual urges, to being attracted to someone of the same sex, to feeling uncomfortable in our own bodies, and so on.

In response to all of this, we experience feelings of shame, self-loathing and a desire to repress that which takes us away from what is the right way to be.

All these things are cruelly represented in our beloved angel Aziraphale.

AZIRAPHALE'S TRAUMA

It is really difficult to talk about Aziraphale's pain, although it is probably the most obvious and easiest to explain in the series. Because it is tangible, it is realistic, many of us experience it all the time and can relate to it.

Aziraphale has won us over with his almost childlike tenderness and joy, with his tenderness for the little things, with his tendency to take to heart the well-being and happiness of every human being in front of him. He is pure, genuine, sensitive and always on the side of good. But behind his façade of a happy and enthusiastic little creature, there is a frightened, abused, insecure child full of shame and self-reproach. This will always condition his actions and will lead him to the painful and, as we shall see, inevitable epilogue in which he rejects Crowley's love to follow Metatron to Paradise.

TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT OR TO DO WHAT I MUST?

We immediately see how Aziraphale lives in a state of perpetual contradiction due to his strong sense of morality: in the series, the first thing we see of him is the moment when he gives Adam and Eve the flaming sword he received as guardian of the Eastern Gate, so that they would not be completely helpless in their escape from the Garden of Eden.

As well as entertaining Crowley (and winning his immediate admiration), the episode shows us from the outset that Aziraphale has a moral compass that always points in a very precise direction: the good of others. This will often lead him in the series to act on impulse, only to have to face the consequences of constituted authority, and create in him an everlasting sense of remorse: almost immediately he is asked by God himself to account for the sword, the very sword that was in danger of becoming an instrument of destruction in the hands of one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse - except that it was then the key to preventing it.

Unable to fight his nature, Aziraphale finds himself repeating the same actions over and over again: in the miniseries about the life of Job, his tenacity to save innocent creatures at all costs leads him to confront Crowley head-on, discovering his plan to circumvent the orders he was given and not kill anyone. But the web of lies he and the demon have woven tightens around him as Gabriel, Michael and the other angels descend to give Job the good news that he will be able to have more children in exchange for those who have been killed.

Aziraphale is thus forced to make a choice: tell the truth, exposing Crowley's deception and leading to the presumed murder of Job's children, or lie, saving everyone but tarnishing himself with what he sees as an unforgivable guilt. Our angel, as we know, chooses to lie. This causes him tremendous pain and leads him to believe that his fate is sealed and that he must fall. Despite having made the right choice.

Fortunately, as we know, none of this happens. But the fear of doing the wrong thing is always with him.

NATURAL ENEMIES

Aziraphale never makes it a secret that he despises Crowley's demonic nature. Never.

It is painful to compare the admiring look he gives him in S2E1 when he meets him in his angelic version, intent on starting the nebula he has been working on since the beginning of time, with the veiled look of shock (not to say a little disgust) he gives him in S1E1 when they meet again as an angel and a demon, on the walls of the Garden of Eden.

However, as soon as it starts to rain and Crowley gets close to him, Aziraphale immediately takes him under his wing. Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves no matter what. It is his peculiar and almost poisonous trait that leads him to help and to forgive even those who have wronged him.

Aziraphale believes that Crowley should be forgiven and loved, but he cannot accept that he has feelings of love for him. This leads him to reflexively despise himself for what he feels, and to push Crowley away whenever he gets too close: think of the argument under the gazebo, or when, confronted with Crowley's suggestion that he take him for a ride after giving him the thermos of holy water, he tells him that he "runs too fast".

It is already obvious to us viewers, and to Aziraphale himself, that he has feelings for Crowley that go far beyond camaraderie, but he cannot let go of them: the fear of retribution and the contempt he feels for anything that is not angelic leads him once again to flounder in contradictions and adopt that yo-yo attitude that characterises all his interactions with Crowley.

THE FINAL TEMPTATION

Crowley is a demon sui generis: he is not really evil and does not mind harming others. In fact, if he can, he actively avoids doing so. However, he does enjoy temptation, and one of his favourite targets is our beloved angel. Still during the miniseries on the life of Job, we see Crowley's first successful temptation of Aziraphale: while the two are patiently waiting for the storm to pass in the cellar of the mansion, Crowley offers him a drink, but Aziraphale refuses, not wanting to succumb to the intoxication of the wine.

Crowley then suggests that he try some human food. The angel is initially disgusted, but makes no objection, and is so impressed by what he tastes that he devours the entire roast beef on the table. Crowley is delighted, and this gag of temptation for an invitation to dinner is repeated throughout the series. Whether the invitation comes from him or from Crowley, each time Aziraphale eats contentedly and our demon watches him eat with satisfaction.

Crowley can therefore be said to be initiating Aziraphale into the pleasures of the flesh, which he will indulge in to the fullest. Aziraphale is a hedonist who loves refined and special things: from antique books to bespoke clothing, passing records, tea and sushi. He loves the objects he surrounds himself with and treats them with care: remember the white gloves he wears before leafing through the only existing copy of Agnes Nutter's Prophecies!

Aziraphale delights in touching his surroundings, and we have already talked about how his predominant love language is physical contact. As much as he can control himself, he touches our demon every time he gets his hands on him. He cannot help it. He desires it, and while Aziraphale has not realised this for the better part of 6,000 years on Earth, in the last century he has come to acknowledge it openly.

This leads Aziraphale to experience another contradiction: he wants to have more physical contact with Crowley, but he cannot. Crowley is a demon, he is the enemy, he is everything he abhors, but the angel he was is always there, alive, before his eyes, and it is out of love for that angel that Aziraphale accepts Metatron's proposal, faced with the prospect of being able to take Crowley back to Paradise with him. So they could be together, in the sunlight, with the approval of God and all, in an angelic way.

But Crowley unexpectedly, desperately, refuses.

Our angel feels betrayed, but has no choice but to accept Crowley's will.

Here is the irreparable, the ultimate temptation our demon could offer: a kiss, a last desperate cry for love, a plea for help, a series of meanings too great to be expressed in words. Crowley grabs Aziraphale by the lapels and for a few very long seconds their lips meet.

Aziraphale has never experienced anything like this before (probably not even Crowley) and feelings stir inside him that he has never even been able to name. Feelings that frighten him, feelings that bring back his contempt for himself and his being far from angelic nature. Aziraphale desires Crowley, discovers that he wants to be kissed by a demon (as the writers of the show themselves have revealed to us), and all of this clashes with everything he has ever been. He has just witnessed the contempt of angels and demons for the love of Beelzebub and Gabriel, he has just risked extinction for helping the fugitive Archangel, and yet Crowley tempts him with a sweet and terrible kiss.

But Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves and forgives.

So he forgives Crowley.

But Crowley, by definition, is unforgivable: disappointed and embittered by his beloved's rejection, he leaves.

Aziraphale does not really want to go to Paradise, but his desire to be part of the herd, his need to be loved and accepted by his faction, drives him to go, to do what is right, what is expected of him as an angel.

As he gets into the lift and asks Metatron what his task will be, he discovers that he will have to deal with the very thing he had already averted in the past: the Second Coming, the Last Judgement. He realises his mistake, realises that he is trapped, and once again wonders if he should do what is right or what he must do.

This time, however, it wins what he must: after one last look at Crowley, watching from afar, Aziraphale climbs into the lift with Metatron that will take him to Paradise. His trauma is so deep and ingrained that it has removed any prospect of being worthy of love except in the light of divine approval.

Although leaving everything he loves - Crowley, Earth, the Library - causes him enormous pain, Aziraphale must return to Paradise and fulfil his destiny.

More infos at Religious trauma syndrome - Wikipedia

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[demodraws0606]

Hello, I'm a Whit fan and I'm about to shoot myself in the foot

I'm gonna sound extremely hypocritical but I find it very funny how a lot of people have placed expectations on what Whit's character is based on previous fictionnal experiences (Happy/Joking character is secretly holding back their sadness).

Even though, I'd argue, Whit is the character we know the least about.

I'm not just saying that as like what we know personally about him but I also mean behavioral wise.

Whit is heavily analysed to have a facade, and I believe that too, even though the arguments on what is behind that facade is up for debate. However we don't actually know what Whit's feelings actually are.

(The reason why I believe Eden and I don't believe Whit, is, unlike him, she has shown no signs of being fake or have any contradicting behavior)

Whit's reactions are very very often contradictory like him caring for people and want to make them smile but also having the most tame reaction to death in this killing game (there is more but this is just an exemple)

Which is why he's the most likely pick to be the mastermind by a lot of people, me included. Because unlike him, other popular pick like Rose, J and Eden have already kind of established a "true character" for themselves that would be harmed in the case of a mastermind plottwist.

Basically those picks, in my opinion, would have character moments that would be ruined and feel pointless if they were the mastermind

Whit however doesn't have much to sacrifice if he is the mastermind mainly because he's already tied up in a bunch of character contradictions unlike other picks. These contradictions can be explained without him being the mastermind but he's really the only one who has those contradictions without having been called out yet (like David).

Also, hot take abound, I don't know why people tie the theme grief so much to Whit's character when actually the main thing that's really been brought up so far with him is idolization.

In fact his secret quote, a thing that seems to incapsulate a character's most important moment, is not about his grief but about him idolizing his mom.

I'm not saying Whit's grief isn't an issue for him, it definitely is, but I mostly mean that people are already posting theories ahead of chapter 2 about how charles will die so that Whit will be able to process his grief properly.

Which I feel is a bit too stereotypical ? It definitely feels like the most obvious path for Whit's archetype.

People associate him rejecting negative emotions as him not wanting to deal with grief but I think it's more likely that he's created a persona tied to his mother that he doesn't want to shatter.

In fact in the David music video thing, the words highlighted in pink is brainwashed and degraded copy. Almost as if he got rid of his personality and replaced it with something else.

Really the only time we've got hints at Whit and grief, is him never talking about his mom dying and also his response to Teruko's grieving response.

[death---dealer]

27 and 32 with blue eyes pls 🤲🏻🧿👄🧿

27. hug from behind. 32. neck kisses. who turned up the TEMP

You felt like you couldn’t breathe; the air that was filling your lungs was not satisfying, there was prickling around the edges of the organ and were tickling with acute exhilaration. Eyes were fluttering across the forest, turning at the attention of even a twig crunching weight caused the small hairs on your body to ease into a stand even though you were wearing a jacket.

The tug of your feet against the muddied ground caught your weight as you shuffled around, scanning the trees for any semblance that they had been rested upon. There was nothing there, much to your digression. The darkened nature of his fur made him hard to spot, the voice in the back of your head taunted as you stiffened at the feeling of a set of eyes staring at you from a smaller distance. That was the thing; you turned quickly in the direction you sensed Blue Eyes was waiting, biding his time. Always trust your gut instinct when you feel like someone is watching you, that’s when they’re most likely to attack. 

A dashed smile left your lips as you signed with your hands, clear and concise, knowing he was able to see the motions with vividity. ‘You may as well come out, I know you’re out there.’ Not the objective of the chase, you knew but maybe somewhere inside, your yearning for him, your heightened state of exaltations and smells were enough to get your mate to come from his hiding spot.

A smart tactic, you figured it would have worked but that was not the case. The hackles upon his shoulders rose in tandem with your hands as you were speaking in silence to him, Blue Eyes’ gaze laser focused on what you had offered him. He could come out, give in and let you win, but there was not as much fun in that. Less anticipation than him waiting in the shadows of the foliage, the bushes that coated the ground with tiny leaves and berries, the redwoods that skyrocketed in the heavens. Blue Eyes was stalking his prey and that very prey was now using their only defense tactic against him. 

Shoulders rolled as you turned around, finally scanning the surrounding area once more and Blue Eyes was quick to dart to the left, feeling the crushing of the Earth below his weight but it was remarkable in how light he made himself sound. There was something about this that was innately itching the best part of the Chimps mind. The chase, the eagerness to have himself sinking into you at the end when you would ultimately lose. There was no way that your Human senses would ever be able to beat out the contradictions he got from being an intelligent Ape. Skirting to a stop, Blue Eyes relished in the feeling of his toes in the mud below and looked at your back side, now only two meters in front of you and brought his body down, hunching in on himself to appear smaller.

“You’ve been chasing me for an hour!” You finally bargained with your vocals, the tear shooting down his spine and he was aware of the way that the fur along his spine rose at that. One more move, and it was over. He’d have his prize in his hands, he’d be able to take you and lift you up like a trophy and admit that you were less of a predator and more of the prey. The cold air hit your back first, evident even through the polyester blend of your jacket and in a mimicked behavior to your mate only a few seconds ago, you felt a tingling running down your spine and resting in the uncomfortable home of your tailbone, spreading even between your legs in a delicious lick when you could feel the slipping of a muscular and taut arm around your waist, pulling you back, your body laden with defeat as you let him. Curvatures melded into each other, your vertebrate almost tearing themselves apart at how irrationally good it felt to have Blue Eyes flushing you against the hardened scape of the front of his body. One foul swoop and you were done for, the expectancy of his next actions were driving you inside to the point where your heart felt like it would beat itself right out of your chest and leave nothing but a bloodied hole there. Blue Eyes rose the one hand that had no grasp on you and mimed the words for you. Just as clear and concise as yours were earlier, leaving your eyes ample, your throat running dry and the base of your neck to feel crinkled with the utmost despair of carnal intent, knees drawing themselves together, your breath quickening now to the point where the pain had subsided from running through the woods and was replaced with fire. 

‘You are… too slow…’ The Prince himself was slow to give compliments, much like his Father, your brain flurried in on itself. Never usually like that himself, but there was something deeply fascinating that sat in your tangled bodies that needed to be explored when he graced the side of your neck, right against your beated jugular with a feather graze of his lips. Thinned, but puckered just for you, you reacted swiftly, tilting the bones to the side to give him more room to take what he deserved. He was right, you felt a breathless tug of a moan leaving your lips as he dropped his hand and ghosted it over your side before it joined the other than had been holding you against his taut body in the first place. Without warning, you were embraced and nearly knocked off your feet by the viciousness that was leaking from Blue Eyes. 

“Going to take your prey back to the Colony for dinner?” You whispered and felt a moment's glance where Blue Eyes lifted his mouth from your sweaty neck, lapping up the saltiness right onto his tongue as he rolled himself further against you, arousal clear against the flare of your back, right above your ass which was securely amplified when the Prince pushed on your navel, garnering himself a throaty moan from you at the sensation so close to your own scented heat, pressing even further against Blue Eyes’ girth.

“No,” His voice was dripping with eased and inherent amusement, canines baring themself against your skin causing your jugular to bounce in reaction, eager for more. Bite me, you whispered against him with your grasp as you finally brought enough conscious thought to the conversation to leverage yourself against him. Blue Eyes never used his voice unless necessary. The years of disuse were indicated in the gruff nature, the deepened baritone that seemed to lull you into a state of heightened frenzy. “I will take… my prey…” You were crunched against him as Blue Eyes’ shaft coated itself against the fabric of your jacket and you squirmed, not to get free, but to get a release from the torture it was causing you, the rise and fall of bile-induced incline resting in your pelvic, dancing itself downwards, tossing your head back against the Apes broad shoulder, “Right here.” “A-Are you going to skin me?” That didn't even sound like your voice as the calloused nature of his leathered finger pads finally tore themselves under your jacket and shirt that clung together with moisture from your skin. 

“Piece by piece.”

[thunderandsage]

arcane, shipping and “word of god” within queer readings

tldr: “word of god” vs “death of the author” through the lens of jayvik

so first of all, here’s linke’s now-infamous reaction to jayvik:

first of all, there’s the classic mistake of conflating asexuality with aromanticism (they can and do overlap, but having one does not automatically mean the other)

to be clear: asexual viktor is not a bad concept. i’ve seen arguments for and against it that bring up valid points (there’s also the question of whether it’s a stereotype to make the disabled character asexual, but i’m not disabled, so i don’t really know the fine details of that debate?), but the questionable thing here is that it seems to have been brought up specifically against a jayvik interpretation

aside from this i’ve seen twitter screenshots floating around where it looks like linke is arguing with people about jayvik? idk—

sigh.

i’m not even going to get into this.

ironically, and unfortunately for linke, a piece of media the fans drew an immediate parallel to is the ending of the magnus archives with two of the main characters jon and martin dying together to save the universe, and they are both a canonical couple and jon is explicitly confirmed to be ace within the universe by dialogue between characters

amanda overton, luckily, is a breath of fresh air:

the first part of what overton says is similar to linke—written with a brotherly love, etc.—but while linke uses this as a “gotcha!” moment to shut down discussion, overton rightly recognizes that “other people give it their own meaning”—that art exists as dialogue with the audience where intent and interpretation do not necessarily align

honestly, what strikes me the most when contrasted with linke is the lack of possessiveness here, as linke clings to the original intentions of the writers like a lifeline whereas overton has set her creation free into the wild with serenity

which can also be rephrased to mean that linke believes in the power of word of god

so word of god is extremely interesting when it comes to the history of queer media

from the korrasami being confirmed via word of god because of network restrictions that meant they had their hands tied when it came to the text of the show, but still making a huge step in the direction of explicit queer rep

to hannigram, where the ship has an incredibly solid textual base within the universe (with “is hannibal in love with me?” “yes” being actual lines), but shipping wiki still has it as “canon (confirmed by bryan fuller)” as if because it’s a queer couple, it needs that extra layer of assurance when for a straight ship it would have less scrutiny

so these two examples have been instances of positive word of god—cases where the creators intentionally wrote in queerness

and media creators have not always been so supportive—just look at the 2010s epidemic of queerbaiting

BUT HERE’S THE THING: the “word of god” stands in near direct contrast with another incredibly useful tool—“death of the author,” which posits that authors essentially lose authority over the meaning of their work and that the work can be analyzed contradicting the authorial intent if there is textual evidence to support it (grossly oversimplified)

essentially, the “death of the author” approach happened a lot in fandoms that had “hostile” creators (moff and gatis mocking fans for shipping, both within and without the show sherlock, for example)

and the thing about fandoms is that it’s great when the creator is on our side! but if not? we’re going to be just fine on our own, we’ve survived like that for decades

and here comes 2024, a year rich with queer content and the practice of queer readings having lost a fair bit of the stigma that was long associated with it (with special mention to the good omens and ofmd fan readings before and after the episodes with kissing were released)

and linke is… still stuck in a 2010s mindset??? like i’m not sure how to explain it more elegantly. do not be like linke

in contrast, amanda overton has the much more nuanced view of fandom and fan interpretations, where she can both acknowledge authorial intent and that differing interpretations will exist and that they still carry weight. be like amanda overton

[relicsongmel]

Thinking about Iris' very open disdain for spirit channeling and how it seemingly contradicts many other elements of her character.

Let me explain—Iris prior to the end of BttT is a woman who only knows facades, covering up the truth, and only presenting herself exactly as she wants others to see her. We see this over and over again throughout the course of the story: she hides her real identity while dating Phoenix, she does damage control for Dahlia and Godot to help them avoid blame for their crimes, and she is extremely selective about which information she chooses to disclose to specific people depending on whatever role she finds herself playing in that moment (daughter, girlfriend, accomplice, etc). Her demeanor as a whole is also rather meek and unassuming, and she's shown to be exceptionally kind; she expresses favorable opinions on most everyone she meets, even those continuously treated poorly by other characters (like Larry) or those that have objectively done reprehensible things (like Dahlia).

All of this stands in stark contrast to her saying in no uncertain terms that she hates spirit channeling:

This stands out to me because it is one of very few things that Iris is completely forthright honest about in the early portion of this case. After spending all day avoiding Phoenix and now carefully dodging his questions towards her in hopes of preventing the truth of her deception from coming out (all of this while actively avoiding her responsibilities at the Inner Temple because of Larry's "blackmail" letter which also threatened to expose her "secret"), why is this the one bit of truth she chooses to divulge here? Or rather: why is this the one thing she seemingly cannot lie about?

Obviously the answer lies in Iris' past and the permanent damage that was done to her and her family due to the politics of the Fey clan, with the Kurain Channeling Technique at the root, and the DL-6 incident as the event that brought everything to ruin. Iris bore witness to her mother Morgan losing the title of Master of Kurain due to her inferior powers and the despair that caused her, then three years later saw her aunt Misty who, despite purportedly being so much better than her mother, made a mistake while channeling that led to an innocent man's conviction, disgracing the Fey name and causing her to flee the village in shame. With this in mind, it makes sense that Iris would feel so strongly about spiritual powers doing more harm than good; after all, she has firsthand experience of the damage that can be done to the women that have it.

But what of the women that don't have it—namely, Iris herself? What happens to a spirit medium, born of the Fey bloodline, daughter of the then-master of her channeling school, when she's shown to not have any spiritual powers? I'm of the opinion that Iris' hatred is not only a product of what she's seen happen to her mother and aunt, but also very closely tied to what is, essentially, her earliest failure in life—after all, what good is a medium who can't channel? Fey women are raised to believe that their worth is linked to how well they can perform the service of their clan, which is the same reason why Maya beats herself up for failing to channel Mia in Turnabout Goodbyes and Pearl does the same with Dahlia later in this case. In a sense, Iris' hatred of spirit channeling is an externalization of her own self-hatred—unlike Dahlia, who mainly copes by lashing out and seeking revenge on those who wrong her, Iris is far too gentle and loving to lay blame on any one person. But all that repressed guilt and anger still has to go somewhere—and it manifests through this one small crack in her otherwise flawless facade. The one thing she cannot bring herself to find beauty in no matter how much she tries. The one thing that should have given her purpose but didn't—leaving her no choice but to mold herself beyond recognition over and over into roles that aren't truly her own, but at the very least give her meaning where she was denied it before.

And knowing her? She probably hates that flaw more than anything.

[osakanone]

On mental health, and lost childhoods:

Things I wish I knew in my teens, my 20's or even my early 30's

I got carried away with a comment-reply in response to this video which I found pretty dire, so I'm including it here. I hope some of you find it useful.

What you're experiencing is a kind of dysthymia and its very common for people to experience in their 20's and 30's (the hardest years of their life) where they unlearn all the over-compensation that being a teenager surrounded by other emotionally clumsy teenagers brought you. What you have to do is become less guarded and embrace new experiences.

You're looking to objects to get the feeling, when you should be looking to feelings to get the feelings. Part of growing up is thinking you an run away from bad feelings and not accidently amputate the good feelings too and then wondering why you don't feel anything -- or even as much.

You have to accept that if you want the highs, you must have the lows. You must feel vulnerable to also feel euphoria because vulnerability is where acceptance is born and kinship and bonds are made. It begins by figuring out when the magic stopped, and going back to that place mentally and figuring out why it stopped. Trauma is a thing everybody experiences -- usually when we're let down by someone important, or someone we trusted and we don't fully heal properly.

Like physical trauma, the obstruction must be removed so the body can heal itself, and so too is the case with the mind. Sometimes that means doing childish things to get into that mental space so you can have those really big really emotionally draining thoughts.

When folks say "love yourself before others will love you", what it really means is you have to value yourself enough to know if the way others treat you is fair or not, to not let people be unfair to you.

This doesn't mean reacting with violence or anger, or shutting people out or using your power it means telling them that you're not okay and diplomatically dismantling what they do to you -- and then when all peaceful means of diplomacy end, you move to unpeaceful means to protect yourself.

Likewise, it also means not just assuming that you like yourself, and not just assuming that you're a good person so you ask if you are actually in the wrong so you weigh things up fairly. If you feel guilt, or you feel like a bad person, process that, figure out why that is.

If you have some gap of "But I know I'm X" but "I feel Y" which contradict, you have knowledge, and understanding in conflict. You only turn knowledge into understanding with repeated practice, so it becomes engrained as part of you -- and likewise, this is how you also unlearn bad habits, with the help of those around you -- which begins by helping those around you. When you start feeling, people will want you around, and you'll stop being lonely, because everybody just wants to feel witnessed, and acknowledged and to do that, you have to be a feeling human being who doesn't cast judgement to placate some ego.

These difficult emotions will absoloutely make you cry and they will make you angry, but you must feel those emotions to break the blockages so you can flow properly as a human being, and so your emotions can come freely and so the world can be enjoyed sincerely again without hedging expectations to protect yourself that risk robbing you of your future joy. The real lesson of finally growing up is that like Peter Weller says, you need to be strong enough to be gentle.

Being hurt takes strength. Folks who hide and run away from their emotions are weak, or are in situations where it makes them vulnerable and others will capitalize on it to hurt them. Those are situations you must leave if you ever want to be happy.

Being a child isn't being naieve, its being open to oppertunities and being willing to experience some really low lows to find those highs because you didn't "settle" for a life on some "Once in a Lifetime" Talking Heads life-plan track that everybody has laid out for you through implicit non-explicit social signalling shit like 2.4 kids, a wife, a car, etc etc. The sooner you get that and you figure that shit out, the sooner you'll sort your shit out. The kid was not eager to grow up to be who you became.

That doesn't make them naieve, it means you failed them, and you're putting the blame on them. You can't do that. It will poison and kill you by making ANY emotion you associate with the kid (even good ones) be seen as threatening to your concept of self now so you cannot have those emotions in the present. Its a contradiction. You cannot have it both ways. Like Carl Rogers said: When you accept yourself just as you are, only then can you change. You must know your current location to figure out which direction will take you to a destination.

That means accepting the parts of yourself you have trouble with: If you don't, you'll never work on them, and you don't improve. Every carpenter accepts the facts of their material. Every artist, every sculptor their canvas or their clay. Every engineer, the limits of their scope. You must be this way to live skillfully. It sucks. It hurts. It means yeah you probably get dealt a bad hand, but you're not quite down and you're absoloutely not out. Pick yourself up and try again. You are worth it, even if every cell in your body tells you that you're not because its easier for it to be some bullshit foregone conclusion to forclose your entire life to "I guess this is it then". The moment you do that, you're already dead.

Everything you've been trained to do to protect yourself is there to turn you into a worker who doesn't complain, who can't network with others, who is isolated so your employer can take advantage of you -- where you just shrug and say "it is what it is". As absurd as it sounds, It doesn't have to be that way. Welcome to emotional availability, and welcome to the rest of your life.

Source: Just turned 38, and this is the best lesson I have ever learned in my entire life. I strongly advise you follow it. I went from obsessing over the old Armored Core games trying to recapture nostalgia to finding personal projects that let me find new joy that isn't locked in the past. Just as there is nostalgia, there is also a kind of neo-stalgia, a longing for the future. Try to find futures you care about.

Y'all take care. You're in my thoughts, and you deserve the world even if you've gaslit yourselves into thinking you don't.

That you are still here when so many others aren't is worth celebrating.

You don't know me, and I don't know you but you beat the statistics, and I'm proud of you.

Godspeed, Spartans. To the moon and back. o7

[scoobydoodean]

Okay now it's time for an extensive breakdown of Sam's incredibly manipulative pleading at the end of 4.21 that I was making fun of yesterday.

My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me.

There are many lies packed into these two sentences and I want to go through them one by one.

Lie 1: Sam always does what Dean wants to do.

Sam presents his whole life as a life where he has always done what Dean wanted. Sam suggests he has never deviated from Dean's wishes.

However, on many occasions when Sam and Dean have arrived at an impasse, Sam simply went his own way, which directly contradicts his claim that he always takes Dean's lead.

1.11: Dean wants to go on a case John directed them toward, and Sam wants to go to Sacremento to search for John (who doesn't want to be found) with nothing but an area code. He has Dean pull the car over, then gets out and leaves. Sam and Dean later talk on the phone and apologize to each other, but with the understanding they'll both go their own way. Sam gets worried when Dean doesn't respond to his calls (because he's been kidnapped) and abandons his plan to take a bus to California of his own accord.

1.12: Sam tricks Dean into seeing a faith healer by saying they're going to see "A specialist".

1.20: Sam starts a screaming match with John over him telling them to take the next exit on the highway, while Dean complains about them both being insufferable and always getting into petty fights.

2.10: Dean begs that they just lay low for a while and take a break and think (after he reveals John's last words). Sam runs off.

3.05: Dean shoots down Sam's plan to threaten a crossroad's demon (with The Colt) into breaking Dean's contract. Sam sneaks out at night to summon a crossroad's demon anyway and threaten her, and then kills her when she doesn't do what he wants.

3.09: Sam stops Dean from killing Ruby.

3.10: Sam steals a hair off Dean's head so he can go into Dean's dreams with him and insists he is going when Dean objects that he doesn't want Sam in his mind.

3.11: Sam kills Dean at one point on accident when Dean tries to end his reign of terror with the owner of The Mystery Spot.

3.15: Sam wants to stay in town and find Doc Benton so he can use his alchemy to make Dean and himself immortal. Dean wants to go and find Bela, who has The Colt. They part ways, with Sam staying and Dean going to search for Bela alone.

3.16: Right after Dean explicitly states that he does not want Ruby to be summoned in a last ditch play to save his life, Sam summons her behind Dean's back.

4.01: Sam wants to kill the demons that threatened Dean in the diner, and Dean doesn't. Sam sneaks off at night to go back to the diner to kill them on his own, but the angels have beaten him to it.

4.07: After implying that Sam using his powers against Samhain is a joint decision and he wants Dean's feedback, when Dean objects, Sam runs off to face Samhain alone anyway, leaving Dean with several still-trapped teenagers he can't abandon to keep him from following to help.

4.09 (4.01-4.04; 4.12-4.22): We learn that while Dean was dead, Sam directly went against what Sam in 4.04 describes as "Practically [Dean's] dying wish" (4.04) by working with Ruby to hone his powers to take revenge on Lilith. He continues to work with her after Dean is brought back to life until 4.04, then picks the habit back up at the end of 4.12. In 4.14, he says that he is intentionally going behind Dean's back because Dean is too weak to be of use and is holding him back.

4.15: Dean says he can't stop Sam from having secrets, but asks Sam to please not treat him like an idiot (i.e., keep telling lies), when it's obvious that Sam is lying to him about what happened with Alastair in the graveyard. Sam very much continues to lie instead of just insisting upon his privacy.

4.18: Sam and Dean fight about Sam's lies and then because Sam wants to stay in town and face Lilith, while Dean wants to leave to escape Chuck's writing. Sam refuses to budge and the brothers separate until the end of the episode.

4.19: Sam wants to turn Adam into a hunter and Dean hates the idea. Sam first starts teaching Adam about hunting behind Dean's back, then in front of him while Dean watches on, sickened.

In the third heading, I note incidents where Sam and Dean had a dispute and Dean conceded to Sam's views.

Lie 2: Sam follows Dean's lead because Dean is his brother and for no other reason. It's blind faith.

Sam wants wants Dean to set aside his moral principles and his skepticism and place blind faith in Sam for no other reason than that Sam is his brother, and he frames this request as a show of mutual solidarity. He's placed blind faith in Dean, so why can't Dean do the same for him?

First, there's manipulation here in that this alleged blind faith entitles Sam to also receive blind faith in return from someone unwilling to offer it, which is nonsense. Just because you choose to (allegedly) abandon your principles and beliefs for blind faith in another person does not mean the other person is obligated to follow your lead, treating their own moral principles in the same blasé manner you do.

Second, while absolutely—there have been points up to 4.21 where Sam did not do things because Dean didn't want to do them, or where Sam did things he didn't really want to do because Dean wanted to do them... it's very shady to suggest he only ever concedes purely because Dean is his brother and he has blind faith in him.

Thinking up incidents where Sam concedes to Dean's wishes on something:

1.02: Sam objects to Dean wanting to protect Haley and her brother because they'll be dead weight in the woods, while Dean wants to protect them.

1.03: Dean insists on going on the case instead of sitting around angst-ing about John and how the leads on him have dried up, and Sam concedes.

1.10: Sam wants to call the FBI on John to find him while Dean wants to follow the coordinates John just sent them to see if he's there. Sam ends up going along with Dean then spends the whole episode taking his anger about John's absence out on Dean who had no control over it.

1.21: Sam does not rush into a burning building and die trying to reach Azazel because Dean holds him back.

1.22: 1) Sam wants to sit in a motel waiting for an unknown number of demons to arrive with three bullets left in The Colt and Dean insists they go to Bobby's to learn about demons instead. 2) Dean insists on rescuing John over revenge 3) Dean brings The Colt to save John behind Sam's back, and then ends up using a bullet to save Sam's life.

2.04: Dean thinks he's found a case (he has) and Sam thinks he's just making things up. Sam agrees to go along with it even though he's skeptical until the fact that it is a genuine case is proved to him.

2.12: Sam doesn't like Dean trying to work with Ronald to stop the shifter but they don't really have a choice.

2.19: Sam doesn't want to help people in prison and Dean does, and Sam concedes and goes with the crazy plan to get arrested and go to prison to stop the haunting.

3.01: Sam wants to take Dean to another faith healer to try and get him out of his deal and Dean refuses to go.

3.12: Sam wants to sacrifice Nancy and Dean argues against this and offers an alternative plan where no one gets sacrificed, which Sam ends up going with.

3.13: Sam agrees to go on "Their Grand Canyon" hunt as one of Dean's dying wishes and gets mad when it goes sour because of The Ghostfacers.

3.15: Sam wants to turn them into Frankenstein's monsters to save Dean from his deal and Dean says he'd rather die.

3.16: This one is tricky, because Sam initially goes behind Dean's back by summoning Ruby to save Dean specifically against Dean's dying wishes, but then after he gets caught and Dean gets Ruby's knife, Sam concedes to using Dean's plan where they try to sneak up on Lilith and kill her with Ruby's knife. Dean's reasoning is that he wants to end the cycle of them saving each other with demon deals that only turn sour.

I think the pattern shows that contrary to fanon, Sam is not some poor helpless victorian maiden being swept along by the tides of the immutable sea. In most cases, it's that he realizes he thinks Dean is right about something at the end of the day, even if he doesn't like it. Not because Dean is his brother, but because Dean won him over with a well-reasoned argument, Sam realized he was putting his desires over right and wrong, or Sam didn't (at that time) want to disrespect Dean's wishes concerning Dean's own body and life.

NOTE: You might notice season 4 is "missing". This is because when I look at all of the season 4 episodes, the closest thing I can remember related to Sam just agreeing to do whatever Dean wants is him deciding to stop using his powers in 4.04, except that Sam makes it very clear at the end of the episode that he's quitting by his own choice and Dean's wishes have absolutely nothing to do with it.

Lie 3: Dean never does what Sam wants to do, and he never trusts him.

Not only does the supposition that Dean has always taken the lead Sam's "whole life" imply that Dean never concedes to Sam's view, but also when Sam requests Dean's trust "for once"—as if, not one single time in his entire life, has Dean ever taken Sam's lead or put trust in him. My mama used to say "exaggerators are just lie makers in disguise", and this is some wild lie-making in disguise.

1.06: They go back hundreds of miles to check in on Sam's friend who Sam believes has been framed for murder, even though Dean thinks it's kind of wild for Sam to believe his friend didn't do something the police have clear evidence he did.

1.09: Dean goes with Sam to Lawrence after Sam has a vision about someone dying in their old house. The idea of going back to Lawrence is extremely upsetting to Dean, but he realizes Sam is right and they have to investigate.

1.12: 1) Sam tricks Dean into seeing a faith healer which upsets Dean, but even so, Dean does what Sam wants, goes into the tent, sits where Sam wants him to sit, and goes up on stage to be healed at Sam's request. 2) Sam says they cannot kill whoever is controlling the reaper because they're human. Dean respects Sam's moral principles by doing what he wants to do.

1.14: 1) They go on this case because Sam has a vision and Dean puts his trust in Sam's vision. 2) Sam insists they can't kill Max because he's human, and Dean respects Sam's moral principles by doing what he wants to do.

2.04: Dean goes with Sam to Mary's grave even though he doesn't want to be in Lawrence or to be anywhere near Mary's grave.

2.05: Sam orders Dean to stay away from Ansem because he's vulnerable and Dean easily agrees, going a long distance away to observe from afar with a rifle.

2.09: 1) Sam has a vision that Dean is going to kill someone. Dean is skeptical, but agrees to go along with Sam anyway. 2) Dean doesn't kill the dude infected with croatoan virus partly because of Sam's pleading that it would be wrong, and Dean finding he agrees. Sam is right.

2.04, 2.09, and 2.10: Dean trusts Sam with insights into his emotional state/why he wants to die after Sam asks him to open up about how he's feeling.

2.12: Dean thinks they should have told Ronald about the shapeshifters, but concedes to Sam's perspective.

2.22: Dean begs Sam to rest for a while instead of immediately getting back on the trail after Azazel, not wanting to lose him again, but Sam insists they go, and Dean concedes.

3.07: Dean wants to go face Gordon alone. Sam breaks down in tears and begs Dean to just be his brother again and stop doing reckless things. Dean instantly softens and agrees to lay low.

3.10: Dean doesn't really want Sam in his head invading his privacy but doesn't stop Sam from joining him in his dreams.

3.11: Dean lives over 100 Tuesdays of Sam bossing him around in various ways, including repeatedly insisting they can't leave the motel and he is not allowed to eat breakfast or go anywhere by himself. Dean puts his trust in Sam even though each time he has no clue what's going on and often has little to no context.

4.04: Sam insists they tell Jack Montgomery that he's going through a metamorphosis so that he can try and stop himself from eating people, and Dean agrees.

4.06: Sam spends the whole episode telling Dean what to do and telling him he needs to go places he's scared to go.

4.09: When Alastair breaks into the church, Ruby tells Sam he needs to use his powers to crush Alastair. Dean starts to protest, but concedes after Ruby says they'll all die otherwise.

4.10 #1: Sam enacts a plan that puts Dean and Ruby at extreme risk (Dean with the angels who have threatened to throw him back in hell, Ruby with Alastair). Both put their trust in Sam and his plan.

4.10 and 4.11: Dean opens up to Sam about his trauma from Hell.

4.19: Though he argues with Sam vehemently multiple times about what he's doing, Dean never actually stops Sam from teaching Adam to be a hunter.

Dean trusts Sam multiple times, and follows his lead on several occasions (even a few times with extreme moral reservations, such as 4.09 and 4.19).

I've also pointed out before that Sam picks most of their season 1 and season 2 cases, contrary to the popular fanon claim that Dean is always dragging Sam everywhere to hunt when he doesn't want to. In season 3, Sam leads them to hunts in 4 different episodes (3.04, 3.05, 3.11, 3.15). Dean finds two (3.02, 3.13). Who picked the rest of their season 3 hunts is either not stated, starts with them being contacted by a friend which leads them to investigate (3.01, 3.03, 3.10, 3.14), or is just them getting into a situation against their will (3.12). 5 cases are Sam's idea in season 4, and two are Dean's. The remainder are unknown, mytharc episodes, or kidnappings.

Lie 4: Sam is just asking to be seen as an equal, and Lie 5: Sam trusts Dean.

Sam's most overarching manipulation here is this idea that he just wants equality. He's showed consistent trust and blind faith in Dean and he deserves the same. He's been Dean's loyal follower going wherever Dean wants him to go, and he wants to be treated as an equal now who receives trust equal to the trust he alleges he places in Dean. However, he plainly shows the entire season that he does not want equality. He wants Dean to be beneath him. We see this just a little before this bit of the conversation, when Sam says Dean can't do anything—that he isn't strong enough and only Sam can do this. Sam shows almost the entire season that he doesn't respect Dean as an equal by lying to him over and over about what he's up to, going behind his back, refusing to believe that Dean can stop the apocalypse as the angels have said. He makes it clear in 4.14 that he is keeping his actions a secret because Dean is too weak and pathetic to be of use and is holding him back. We confirm this following episodes (4.16, 4.17, 4.18, 4.21) where Sam explicitly says Dean cannot do what needs to be done and Sam has to take over. Dean is not capable. Sam has no faith or trust in Dean at all.

[i-heart-hxh]

I was rewatching HxH recently and I’m kind of confused about Killua’s doubt about Gon’s friendship in the CA arc. Gon has told Killua multiple times that he is his best friend and even stated that Killua was part of his current life goal (meeting Ging but specifically introducing Killua to Ging). So why is Killua wondering if he’s a teammate or a friend during the palace invasion? Nothing actually happened up until that point to make it seem like Gon no longer considered him a friend so where is this doubt even coming from? I just don’t get where this “which is it” crisis even came from. Gon never suggested Killua was no longer a friend but now he has to pay the consequences of not knowing what’s going on in Killua’s head.

And on that note, I think it was unfair of Killua to part from Gon letting him think that his actions caused the separation. Especially when he is clearly contrite and was in the middle of a psychotic break when he snapped at Killua.

Hi! This is a great question, and something that confused me my first time through the series as well.

I actually talked about this topic here as an addition/extension to @tjlnn22's awesome post about how the aftermath of Gon's date with Palm and Gon's concern about Palm during the palace invasion played a role in Killua feeling uncertain about his role in Gon's life. I highly recommend reading the whole post because it makes the series of events more clear and understandable and lays it out with actual manga pages, but I'll talk about it a bit here as well. (Apologies if I end up repeating myself some--I sometimes I like to restate things in case it's helpful to someone!)

It is strange that Killua fixates on this friend/tomodachi vs comrade/nakama topic during Chimera Ant Arc, after Gon declared Killua his best friend in the whole world not long ago at all. As the audience, I think we're supposed to question this as well--after all, that declaration from Gon at the end of Greed Island was a major moment in the series, we haven't seen the two of them have any major falling out, and Gon hasn't directly said anything to Killua that might contradict them still being best friends. So, why this crisis all the sudden?

Killua's insecurity boils down to two major factors:

Gon wants to fight Pitou alone, and Killua defines himself in relation to Gon via acts of service--his self-esteem hinges on how useful he can be to Gon. (Remember when he nearly died and the last thing he said was apologizing to Gon for not being of more use?) Gon denying Killua the ability to fight alongside him in such an important mission likely feels to like a rejection to Killua, to a degree. Think of how much it meant to Killua to be relied upon by Gon in the dodgeball match. This is in conjunction with Killua feeling like he failed Gon when he fled from Pitou and left Kite to die, and also the needle's effects in general (causing him to flee when up against strong opponents) make Killua feel like a failure, someone unworthy of being at Gon's side.

His sense of his place at Gon's side is also disrupted by Gon's date with Palm and Gon being worried about Palm during the mission. There is very strong evidence (again, here) that the date and aftermath of it seriously impacts Killua, including over the longer term, and makes him wonder who he is to Gon, anyway. This idea gets brought up again and again, and when Killua has his sobbing breakdown in front of Palm, it's because he's thinking about the possibility that Palm means more to Gon than him.

It's both of these factors, not just one or the other.

Chimera Ant arc keeps circling back to questions around Killua's relationship to Gon and what the meaning of it is, specifically bringing up the concept of romantic love directly around it repeatedly. As the audience, many of us find it confusing that Killua is wondering if he's still Gon's friend when their status as friends has been so clear throughout the series and never seemed to fall into question. Even Gon choosing to fight Pitou alone doesn't explain the crisis Killua is having over this.

I personally think this crisis is really about Killua's romantic feelings for Gon, with the language somewhat obfuscated because ultimately this is a Jump manga and I believe Togashi knows people who understand the subtext will get it (keep in mind just how much subtext there is in this arc overall), and those who don't will just puzzle over it a bit and maybe consider the context the rest of the arc provides. Killua himself also might not have full awareness of or be unwilling to admit to himself fully why he's so upset about this situation and therefore mentally frame it as "friends or comrades," too. It's basically about how much he means to Gon, regardless.

If you remove Killua's romantic feelings for Gon from the puzzle, the conflict he's having doesn't entirely make sense, but when you do consider it, it suddenly makes a lot more sense. He's worried about whether Gon sees him the same way he sees Gon, and because he believes Gon is "dating" Palm and has feelings for her, he's struggling with what he sees as a mismatch in their feelings for each other. Is he Gon's beloved #1 person and partner, or is he just someone Gon works with to reach goals? Does Gon love Killua the way Killua loves Gon, or not? It's a common trope in romance, something you'd see in a shoujo manga. Taken in conjunction with all the other romantic subtext in the series, it's a conclusion that works for me. I think it's just lightly "coded" to keep it somewhat below the surface and have some plausible deniability.

On your final point, we actually don't know what Killua said to Gon about the parting because we never saw the full conversations between them on the subject. During the separation, Killua teases Gon about what happened during Chimera Ant Arc, but he doesn't blame Gon or say that Gon is why they're splitting up. If anything, he emphasizes it's because he decided he needs to be with Alluka and protect her. So, I don't think it's fair to blame Killua for something he didn't actually do, as far as we know.

[a-stars-art-blog]

I like thinking that Albert makes Barok act kinder simply by being in his presence.

I haven’t revisited the games /100%/ yet so I’m probably missing some things that extremely contradict what I’m saying but whatever I’m not taking off my BenBaro tainted glasses >:[

Spoilers below 👍

The biggest point that made me think this is in 2-3 when Drebber threatened Tusspell and Barok called him out on it. Every time I watch someone play this part, they always act surprised that Barok spoke up. So it made me think that Barok hadn’t done anything similar. (Which I’m pretty sure is wrong but I don’t have a good enough memory to say for sure) ((me thinks Barok has had moments of his true gentlemanly nature beforehand but WHATEVER))

And then there was the section where they convinced Albert to let his experiment be investigated. Barok speaks directly to Albert to which Susato comments “I’ve never heard him speak that way before”. Obviously bc the games are not fully voiced, they have to throw lines like Susato’s to tell you things like a character’s tone. In this case, I think it’s fair to assume that Barok is speaking MUCH softer or more patient (maybe even desperate??? If we could be so delusional,,,) than he would be with most characters.

And of course there’s the biggie of Barok taking on Albert’s case and insisting the teleportation worked. We know that Barok took the case bc he didn’t trust anyone else to do the prosecution, and bc he ONLY trusted Ryunosuke for the defense (God I love Barok’s character arc okay anyways) and he knew it’d only be them two that could uncover the real truth to set Albert free.

Even knowing Barok’s intentions, it still makes my brain fuzzle thinking about Barok trying to prove Albert guilty of murder. Like, Barok knew Albert was innocent and definitelyyyy didn’t believe in the experiment but he still did all that?? I believe the game explains it as Barok wanting to keep Alberts reliability as safe for as long as possible.

Which??? is…so??? Cute???!?

Like, again, bc my memory of the games are pretty faint, I could be forgetting some of Barok’s scenes, but he just doesn’t seem like the type of character to prolong the inevitable??? He seems much more the type to want to get down to the truth as fast as possible. So for him to be like “I’m gonna defend my friend’s life work and credibility even if it means his death bc that’s what he would want” LIKE WAH??? Albert did literally say that he would rather die then be proved a sham and it’s, like….Barok knew that!!! He knows his friend!! And wants to respect his wishes!!! BUT ALSO…fuck that he’s not gonna let his only friend die??? So he does help convince Albert to give in but just…the fact Barok prolonged it at all is…yeah…

Maybe it was Barok trying to show Albert that even tho Barok has changed, and people call him awful things, he still understands him all these years later and cares for him. He wanted to let Albert know that before switching gears and disproving his theory. Like…I can’t think of why Barok would want to do that OTHER THAN FOR ALBERTS FEELINGS especially when Barok never intended to follow through.

Anyways this case has Barok acting noticeably weird. Bc it’s Albert.

Like Albert, Barok hasn’t talked to him in 10 years. The last impression/image Barok had of Albert was *10 years ago*. Just like Albert thinks Barok as “unassuming and gentlemanly” “a kind hearted soul”. Barok, too, is running off his thoughts of Albert from 10 years ago bc that’s all he has (obviously those thoughts have probably been altered slightly after seeing each other again but still)

So finally to the main point and reason of this ramble. I like to think seeing Albert again brought him back to his uni days. Seeing your close friend from school, only having memories of him from that time…maybe it ended up affecting him and he subconsciously found himself resurfacing those times.

Speaking up against someone being rude to a lady, defending your friend’s credibility bc you know it’s what they care about more than their own life, speaking softer to said friend, it all seems rather gentlemanly don’t you think?

Side bar:

I’ve found myself going back to the idea of “Barok not wanting Albert to see how far he’s fallen” or “Barok acting a certain way so that Albert won’t dislike him now” multiple times now…inchresting….

I think it just adds to the tragedy of Barok

[capitalism-and-analytics]

I recently saw a post (not from you, just out in the wild) talking about how 'trickle down economics is a failure'. I'm fairly ambivalent about the concept for a few reasons, but in this case the person was criticizing it because 'the rich got richer' and 'wealth disparities, etc.'

Now I'm by no means an expert, but wealth (if not 'money') has certainly exploded in the last 50 years in the US - the fact that the vast majority of the population own a smartphone AND a computer alone should lead one to conclude this (it's near tautological). I'm also somewhat critical of demand-side economists when they complain that things aren't affordable, because that's literally what their economic model declares is the ideal situation. They seem to believe that a highly complex system can be fine-tuned so that everyone gets exactly what they need without fail, and don't consider such an idyllic outcome is nigh impossible: you either have too much, or not enough, never exactly what you need (at least, for a large population over a long period of time). I think I'm going to start referring to these people as 'Goldilocks Economists' because they seem to think they just need to keep trying things until they get it juuuust right, and underestimate just how many variable would require accounting.

Since you seem more informed on this topic, what are your thoughts?

Without seeing the post, I can't really speak in regards to it too confidently of specifics, but given your examples, it has to do with the fact that there is a disagreement in intended outcomes. Economic systems do not have intended outcomes or goals, they are dictated by society. The real metric of the 'effectiveness' of a system is in regards to how much it fulfills the represented society's goal(s). In relation to the author of the post, they aren't 'wrong' in their criticisms as it pertains to their own goals, but they are failing to realize that the rest of society does not agree with their goals in behavior. The reality is that the things people say and the things people do often contradict themselves. e.g. businesses often utilize cheap labor because consumers care more about price leadership than the usage of fair labor, despite claiming they would pay more for products produced with more fair labor.

Some of the other misconceptions that you brought up:

We don't live in a zero sum system and it is constantly growing as it is not measured through finite tangible resources, but the perception of both implicit and explicit value, which is effectively infinite.

The issue isn't that a system can't theoretically be fine-tuned, but instead the issue is that we can't unanimously define what is perfection to even attempt to fine-tune towards.

The misunderstanding that growth is only additive opposed to when in reality it can be multiplicative or exponential, which perpetuates the disparities. e.g. if everyone does 10% better, then those already doing better will proportional gain more relative growth, despite everyone being better off.

The misconception of 'needs' v. 'wants'. This goes back to my earlier point, but there is this fallacy that everyone will pursue the needs of others over their own wants, yet in reality, most of society will only pursue the needs of others when it aligns with their own perception of value.

[ferrstappen]

WE NEED MORE DAD MAX PLEASE!!! what about going on vacation with the twins to their private villa in st.barths?

You ask, I deliver 🫡

This is on connection of the Disney World blurb 💘

SAFE HAVEN | MAX VERSTAPPEN BLURB

Beach was never really your thing, preferring other plans rather than sitting on the sand. That was until Max brought you to his little paradise on earth: St. Barthelemy.

It became your safe haven, when you were staying it was the place where you could lay down in the sun, teasing Max about his uneven tan, lazy make out sessions with the crashing waves and orange sunsets as witnesses, with no worries of nosy hotel workers who could leak Max’s location to paparazzi or over eager fans.

It was on the same white sand and Caribbean waves where he got on one knee and asked you to be his wife. A year later, under the same sunset you told him you were pregnant, and hid from the world during his summer break, keeping the growing belly away from everything and everyone, just the two of you, still unaware that not only one, but two mini Verstappens were going to change your lives.

Of course the villa was the place where Luca and Mila saw their first vacations just when they were a few months old and couldn’t take wobbly steps by themselves, you and Max always guiding them. Now, four years later, they knew every door and the space of the private beach just like they did your family home in Monte-Carlo.

It was nearly 8 AM when you heard soft footsteps on the kitchen and the voice of Mila telling her brother to keep quiet as Luca stomped over something, all the conversation in perfect Dutch. Squeezing your eyes, you left a quick kiss on Max’s bare chest. He stirred in his sleep, lowering his body and placing his head on your chest, earning a raspy chuckle from you.

“Wake up, the kids are already up and probably making a mess in the kitchen,” you informed your husband who groaned and tightened his grip and started leaving sleepy kisses very near of your boobs. Asking him to stop his attack, you giggled and left a kiss on his messy hair before getting up and putting on Max’s shirt from the night before and calling for the twins.

Max quickly sat up on the bed and prepared for the twins to jump into the bed, engulfing them on his arms and playfully messing with Luca’s dirty blond hair, while also caressing a mysterious spot on the corner of Mila’s mouth.

“Is this…” Max traced the spot and pretended to taste it. “Is this chocolate? How come there’s chocolate here, M?” He feigned confusion, but couldn’t keep his case as his daughter gave him her best puppy eyes, a foolproof method to get the multiple world champion wrapped around her finger, and even at her very young age, she knew her Papa was her protector and favorite human. Not that she’s ever tell you that.

“Papa, no! Not chocolate,” Mila argued placing her small hands on Max’s cheeks, squishing them making Luca and you laugh as Max’s face contorted and looked like a duck.

Luca quickly contradicted his twin’s words, telling his parents that Mila had eaten the last piece of chocolate cake and before the two could start arguing, you took Mila on your arms, away from Max who quickly got up and placed Luca on his arms.

“How about we have some breakfast and head to the beach a little bit, yes?” You suggested and the twins cheered.

“Come on, Luke, let’s choose the trunks for today” Max placed his son back on the floor and walked him to the closet, professionally handling Luca, taking off his pajamas, leading him to the bathroom and helping him change into his orange trunks. Luca ran away from Max as soon as he knew what was coming.

“No, Luca! You need sunscreen!” Max tried to reason with his child, but the little boy Verstappen was too much like his father, something Max was aware since you never stopped reminding him. It wasn’t just his dirty blond/light brunette hair, it was the way Luca furrowed his eyebrows and wasn’t able to keep his mouth shut when he was being told off.

“No, it’s sticky!” Luca crossed his arms, earning a smile from Max just by looking at his adorable son trying to take a stand against sunscreen.

“Ok, no sunscreen min liefde, but that means no beach and you’re staying inside while your sister and mama go outside.”

Max internally smiled as his carbon copy walked inside the bedroom again, complaining on a low voice, was it Dutch or German? Max made a mental note to talk to the twins in Dutch so they would grow more accustomed to it. All of these thoughts took place as Luca walked away from his dad, stomping and crossing his arms. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Max helped Luca out on a pink UV protection shirt before heading outside.

Like connection, Mila chose her favorite orange swimsuit with pink polka dots, perfectly matching his twin. They quickly threw themselves on the sand, paying little attention to your voice telling them to not leave your sight as they started drawing on the sand.

While keeping an eye on the twins, a hand made contact with your behind, squeezing it like it was his own body, earning a high pitched and surprised whimper from your lips. “Watch it, Verstappen. These kids are a menace just like you, so there’s no alone time today.” You said leaving a kiss on his plump lips, while also sneaking your hand to his behind, making Max smile on your lips.

“M, Luke! Come on, let’s test the water” Max called for his children, both who happily ran towards him.

While on the sand, you happily looked at your family, and the joyous smile on Max’s face as the twins attacked him with a water attack.

St. Barths would always be the safe haven of your little family.

[moeyangwenli]

I feel like I come across as moralistic when I talk about Reinhard. In fact when I started the show, I was engaging with it how I engage with history. I’ve studied Roman and Chinese history somewhat in-depth; when you’re discussing a ruler, you aren’t trying to slap a “good” or “bad” label on them, but to place them in historical context. Appraisals of their merits and weaknesses are done neutrally. Thus, I was watching the show like a drama rooted in realpolitik.

The reason I ended up being critical of Reinhard’s writing is that it felt like the story romanticized him to a significant degree… specifically in how it ceased having any feeling of sociopolitical groundedness. If LOGH has historical felicity, it’s in terms of military history. Reinhard as head of state was glossed over; he faced none of the challenges one would expect for someone in his position.

I’ll give one example. You know what foe shows up to menace kings and emperors across history? Inflation. Financial crises have brought imperial powers to their knees, accomplishing what a thousand armies could not. I suppose you could say that seizing control of so much territory, including the financial hub of Fezzan, would solve that for him. But is that actually the case? The Mongols conquered vast lands and riches in a span of three generations, but it took no time at all for them to devalue their currency and burn through their wealth. What kind of taxes did Reinhard impose? I’d assume he’d have to levy high ones to maintain his military force and support his building projects. Wouldn’t that reduce his popularity?

While watching LOGH, I was asking myself a lot of logistical questions like that, which the story itself seemed uninterested in. For instance, where were all the damn ships coming from? An economic and materialist exploration of that question could be very interesting. I mean, we were told next to nothing about the economic systems of the Alliance or the Empire. One can assume they’re capitalist and feudal respectively, but how was the work actually getting done? Wouldn’t it have deepened the themes to compare the two societies in these terms? An exploration of how the Alliance’s economy was geared towards war would have been nice, as well as an acknowledgment of the role money plays in politics (the work liked to blame “the people” for the failures of democracy without actually going into how that democracy functioned). And on the side of the Empire, we are told that the Goldenbaums used forced labor. Well, did Reinhard outlaw that or maintain it? If he got rid of it, how did he replace the laborers? Wouldn’t that affect the imperial budget?

After watching LOGH, I went on a bit of a girl-on-girl kick to cleanse myself of all the masculine energy. I finally sat down and read JWQS (English title “Two Adamant Hearts”), an incredibly long Chinese novel series. Spoilers, but one of the main characters of that series, Jingnu, becomes an empress. She’s young and idealistic, determined to be a good ruler. And as soon as she takes office, she’s hit with the reality that she’s inherited a financial crisis. The story expends a great deal of time dwelling on what she has to do to save her kingdom from destitution.

I’m not saying LOGH had to do the same. Tax policies aren’t all that fun to learn about in history books, much less in fiction. My point is that I believed Jingnu as a good ruler more than I believed Reinhard as one because the story focused on what it would actually take to rule competently, justly, and responsibly.

Reinhard ended up looking like a pretty weak ruler in a variety of ways, and even if he had been perfect, I would expect his empire to be very unstable. It would take a ridiculous amount of effort to control and administrate all the territory under his power. Even an excellent statesman like Kublai Khan ended his reign in failure and disgrace because of the contradictions inherent to being an imperial power: the imperative to expand. But Reinhard’s glory was dimmed by nothing; even the most significant challenge he faced, the accusations of the survivor of Westerland, were only used to fuel his angst and get him in bed with Hilda, after which they were swept under the rug, never to be mentioned again. Couldn’t that have gotten out and damaged his reputation? Again, there were a million ways the story could have gone, but it feels like it only chose the safest ones.

So what I’m saying is I would have liked either for Reinhard to have done his absolute to best to be a good ruler, with focus on the logistics of that, or I would have liked to see the story take a realist turn where his legacy is tainted and his empire falls apart, or is at least destabilized. Ending the story with an epic tone, and the assurance that everything will probably be fine ‘cause Reinhard has a son, was too much for me. Especially given that there was no resolution between democracy and autocracy. At one point, Yang gave a wonderful speech about how dangerous it would be for all of humanity to exist under a dictatorship, and then the story ended with all of humanity under a dictatorship, and this was not painted as a bad thing 😭 A constitutional monarchy was maybe on the table but that was also not explored at all, leaving me with no choice but to conclude that LOGH ultimately did not care about politics in the least.