#But like Hera actually has messed with basically all of their lives at some point

[cryoverlife]

During the MoA Leo should’ve forced everyone to do one of those breaking the ice activities.

like

Leo: if we’re going to work together we need to know a bit about each other, so let’s go around the room and say your first and last name, your godly parent, and one way Hera has messed up your life😊

[cherrytea556]

Lore Rekindled; The Lore Olympus that should have been

To be honest, I checked out the rekindled version before the original one and now having reading the original as well, it's extremely odd. Y'know goodbye volcanic high where the original was a mess but a group of 4chaners made a parody game which turned out to be of better quality than the original? This is like that but replace 4chan with tumblr users, mainly @genericpuff whose series is pinned in their tumblr blog where you can check all of the episodes, especially updated ones. In this post, I will be praising this series of how it fixes the problems of the original

The Pacing

One thing I notice about lore olympus and lore rekindled is the pacing. Not just the flow of the story but where it chooses to focus on. Now in lore olympus, the pacing is kinda a mess and its mainly to do with what it focuses on. An example is the magazine plotpoint; in the original, its basically kinda there in between doses to focus on other stuff like persephone and hades together, persephone's sa (i'll get to that later), eros story, zeus and hera etc...The flow generally isnt that bad per say (except for persephone's sa cuz that was way too quick) but for a story meant to be a romance between hades and persephone, you'd think it idk, it would focus on persephone and hades specifically, not eros which is another example of; its flashbacks. Eros specifically has such a dragged out flashback in episode 12 which we didnt need or at least with that much exposition when it should've naturally expand in the story and that's what rekindled does. The magazine plotline has turned into the first conflict of persephone and hades as we see how it affects their lives and relationships. This works for its pacing better because it doesn't give you too much stuff to jumble with, making the narrative more concise and easier to understand where the story is going. And with the flashbacks, rekindled cuts out the fat in the flashbacks from the original to a perfect balance where it gives exposition of the characters while also leaving mystery for the audience to be intrigued, my favourite one would have to be this (though it more of a nightmare than a flashback specifically speaking);

It's of persephone in a greenhouse her mother placed her in with this red eye thing following her from outside the greenhouse. I have no idea of this lurker if its her metaphorical rage or a danger in her life but either way, i am intrigued by its presentation.

The Characters

When reading lore rekindled and lore olympus, the characters are definetly an odd experience. For lore olympus, the characters arent exactly uh....great per say. I think the main reason for this is how their ultilised, with characters like eros, hera, hectate etc being there to mostly be a matchmaker for hades and persephone even if it was initially seen as wrong like with hera and hectate, be antagonistic as a way to have conflict between hades and persephone like minthe, demeter and recently leuce even if ones had reasons too like minthe with hades emotionally cheating on her and demeter because lets be honest, she had a point. Then there's hades and persephone, whoo boy where to start with them.

Hades starts off as a creep eyeing at persephone during a party, specifically at her body and still lusts persephone even being aware that shes 19 and he's 2000 years old. Also is a shitty boss, father AND contributes to slavery with it while being adressed in some way, doesnt change him which isnt good for a character that's meant to be the main protagonists love interest.

Persephone though, I can get the self insert vibes. From favouritism towards the story, being who most of the men in the story are attracted too, portrayed as a 'cinnamon roll' (they actually said that early on in the story, im not kidding) who cant do no wrong. She acts like a teenager rather than a young adult which makes the scenes where shes sexualised just more uncomfortable (and they already unnecessarily were) along with adding that uncomfortability to the romance

But with rekindled, they expanded on the characters much more than they originally were. Persephone for instance has turned from a 'sexy baby' legal teenager to an actual young relatable adult with agency and allows her to screw up (e.g, getting drunk on her own rather than eros drunking her). Her adult attitude makes the romance between her and hades not only more palpable, but also strays away from the infantilisation/uncomfortable sexualisation of her character which is nice to see. Hades also is written well in the series from how it acknowledges his faults while still making him likable. And thats the same for every character really, their personalities are much more fleshed out and nuanced which makes their characters feel real to life, gaining effectiveness for more emotional scenes with them. An interesting thing too is that they even expanded the magazine guy's character from making fake news for profit into feeling guilt over what they done, standing up for persephone which is a pretty nice change.

No Sa Plotline

Not like you cant have sa in your story ever but if you never planned it from the beginning and only did when people tell you that the scene you drew from your comic was sa then....maybe just not do it. Lore olympus does exactly that where while an attempt was made, it goes on to retcon it into making apollo (the guy who sa'd persephone) into a lesser evil like that would made a difference instead of just cutting it out from the very beginning. Lore rekindled thankfully just made apollo into his pilot version, a shitty bf but more likeable and expanded upon (which should have been his portrayal from day 1). His shittiness doesnt come up in the story, more like self absorbness/egotisticalness although with its recent chapter of the magazine guy offering persephone lunch, it might reveal some cracks or at least further down the story it will be revealed to us which futhers how effective rekindled character writing is in how its expansion of characters would give us the feels. That or portray him as not a good match for persephone, either way much better than the original.

Artstyle

Lore olympus has a pretty good artstyle (at least in s1/the early episodes, s3 is just kinda goofy) but lore rekindled has got a good artstyle which is on top, more consistent too. Here's some examples;

Comedy

It's objectively funnier than lore olympus, no question asked

All in all, if you want to read lore olympus, i recommend you to read the lore rekindled one instead as it's better in every way. Give it a read.

[choconoru]

I swear I've seen a lot of amnesiac aus for TOA and everyone seemed to have their own cool versions of it but I wanna make my own so :] ;

So there was a 6 months gap before Apollo fell on the dumpster. What if instead of 6 months in some sort of purgatory Apollo got thrown to earth 6 months earlier but he got idk hit on the head along the way. Maybe Zeus stole Hera's idea with the amnesia thing or maybe Zeus messed up cause that wasn't supposed to happen who knows.

Then Lester kinda just wandered. For 6 months. He can learn how to do human things during those 6 months completely alone and maybe he had a "sense" of who he was before the amnesia through hints or something. Maybe he discovered "Oh I must play the ukulele" or "Oh maybe my family lives in New York?" Or something basic like that.

And then at one point maybe when Meg appeared or he somehow ended up in Camp Half-blood almost everything(Which isn't a lot) he thought he knew about himself wasn't actually true and now he basically has to start from scratch on discovering who he is. He'd think that he's a demigod now(But it'll get confusing considering Lester can't eat ambrosia, but his healing factor is faster than the average human? Will's gonna have a grand time figuring that out and who this kid is). Events of The Hidden Oracle might be similar but idk how this is just me rambling. Perhaps some campers guessed "Maybe you're a son of Apollo or some Minor God" and then Lester went oh okay cool I think.

Then at another point Lester discovers he's actually Apollo himself so he has to start from scratch on who he is again with an identity crisis now too. Maybe this happens during the events of the The Dark Prophecy but once again I have no idea how. I'm considering if Meg would know the whole time of who he is and she was the one to tell or if Lester realized it from Commodus.

Okay that's all for ideas lol I've never rambled on this long about an au but Lester getting amnesia is such an interesting concept </3 His identity crisis would be amplified to a thousand.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. tbh rachel wouldnt need to add in random lines about how capitalism is bad and having internalized misogyny at age seven if she didnt claim to the high heavens that shes actually a feminist goddess telling the most progressive story ever. talk about creating your own problems.

2. Never thought I'd say it but Zues spitting facts fr 

3. No but why is Zeus framed as in the wrong😭 Like I understand in myths he’s supposed to be an asshole and at first in LO I could understand why he was an asshole, but Zeus is literally in the right in punishing Persephone. Like I’m rooting for him over HxP at this point man

4. this isn't even just the fact hades is a manipulative slave owner with an oedipus complex but zeus also just looks more aesthetically pleasing?? like his colors are much nicer and he has drip and pretty hair?? also like he doesnt lie about who he is, he will happily admit hes a dick, but hes fair when he needs to be and can stand by for those he cares about (yes hera i mean you after your kronos nightmare!), meanwhile with hades its like rachel dont lie to me hes elon musk at BEST

5. Alright I got some concerns over the new chapter (not fp) -

The idea that Persephone is SO important and that her unfair punishment is basically f*cking over everybody because Zeus is being too stubborn to realize what a hard working angel she is... Doesn't sit right with me.

Idk how to phrase this to make it make sense but everyone is being passive aggressive (sort of understandably) towards Zeus because his decision to punish Persephone. Like that satyr is basicslly saying "if only Zeus would lighten up and let hades and persephone be married and cater to their every whim then people / the world would be happy"  - like the way the trial / punishment is written is that Persephone is the single most important character Ever whos life and choices affect everyone all the time and everyone is invested in hades and persephone being together because their lives basically depend on it - like hades is now supposedly messing up his own economy / citizens over not being able to see Persephone.

Also - I like that persephone seems to be standing up for herself finally, but it took 10 yrs to do it?? 

6. NGL I'm obsessed with that panel revealing Persephone's underworld citizenship went through bc 1) are we just supposed to ignore her immense privilege of getting a sped through process in a few DAYS, bc I won't! but 2) it feels like such an unintentional mockery of the actual immigration progress, where so many of us were/are trying to flee war, violence, and trying to find a better life, meanwhile SHE gets a sped through process so she can avoid the law/hook up with her boss. Love that, Rachel!

7. Also now that Cerberus is here I guess plot wise Persephone HAS to go see Hades despite the rules in place, she now has an excuse to go to the underworld and idk I read somewhere that some of the gods are in a sleep coma?

So heres a prediction - maybe kronos is up to something and zeus hasn't been affected yet because... Reasons? I bet its so that everyone is gone so oh no, whos going to save the Olympians from the dreaded kronos? Persephone of course! And zeus will finally have to admit how awesome she is and how great at everything she is and how wrong he was to punish her because only she, a fertility goddess, can save them and at the end everyone will be so mad if he doesn't forgive her because she saved the world to prove her worth that he'll have no choice but to lift the punishment and she and Hades can finally bang, I mean get together, and be married and everything goes back to normal and our protags get a happy ending and idk about everyone else - maybe Apollo is thrown into jail for rape and zeus is kept as king of the Olympians for a good show of faith but Hades and Persephone keep a close eye on him and basically control the strings so hes more like a puppet, and maybe hera and echo get together idk. Everyone else is secondary to the hades and persephone story so I don't know about them, cause despite it being called Lore Olympus only occasionally do we see storoes that pertain to outside of persephone and hades pov.

8. does that one anon think we critique  rachel/LO because she's a woman 😭 the majority of lo critics are women?? yeah her being a cis white woman does effect how we look at her work, the ideas she puts into it, and how others treat her (especially compared to actual marginalized female webtoon creators), because that does play a huge role in why LO is full of problematic things and rachel's coddling by her fans. if we were calling her a bunch of gendered terms that'd be one thing, but we're not.

9. sorry but anon going "youre being WOKE" is such a giveaway theyre assholes w conservative opinions but dont want to admit it. like these are LO fans?? people who bemoan "woke" critics, who tend to be in the oppressed groups rachel is speaking over while claiming she's the actual progressive feminist?? like you guys cant have it both ways, if you want to claim LO is some feminist masterpiece then you cant shut down ppl who point out it consistently fails to meet up to even 1 progressive ideal 🤧

-----SA Discussion Below-----

10. FP SPOILERS///Sooo um Rachel made an episode with literal sex assault and wrote it off as a joke? Wow that's some big pro-feminism shit for you. It's not just stupid, it's disgusting and dangerous, bc what the hell are you implying as a writer when you write a scene where one character sexually assaults another for LAUGHS???? ARE YOU SERIOUS RACHEL???? I-I can't I really can't, somehow she makes literally everything 10x times worse with each new episode

[indigo-brainspark]

The Fourteen Olympian Gods as Parents ranked

(Hestia and Hades are also valid, pass it on)

1. Hestia:

First, is Hestia, obviously, because she is the only one in Olympus shown to be capable of caring for other people, no matter who they're related to or what they're doing. It's sad cause she isn't really interested in having children, adopted or otherwise, because she doesn't want to become like her parents, and treat children like that. But, she regularly checks up on the people at Camp Half Blood, and provides them as much support as she can without breaking the law.

2. Artemis

Also, kinda ironic, considering she's also a virgin goddess, but if it works, it works.

She's nice and kind, fierce protector of young girls, a staunch feminist. I really think she's the 'mom' friend. To an extent.

Also, she goes around practically adopting every lost girl she finds, so...

3. Dionysus

Whoo boy, so, Mr. D really isn't the nicest person. To be fair, he doesn't want to be at Camp, so who can blame him?

But what you've got to admit, he's a great dad. He mourned the death of both his sons, obviously adored them, asked people to look out for them, etc.

He doesn't really like the campers, but it has been hinted that he does actually know everyone's names, but messes them up just because. And he offered mental support to Nico when he was suffering from PTSD, which seems to be something he does quite a bit.

4. Ares

Yeah, him. He's a jerk, let's be real, but to his children? He's a softy. Think about it: he gave Clarisse an electric spear, a ship, a squad of skeleton soldiers, and she's not considered to be the 'special one' in the Ares cabin, it's just casually mentioned that she got that spear as a birthday present. So she's not the only one to get presents like this.

5. Hades

Hades... Is an interesting parent.

On one hand, he viewed his children as pieces of power at one point in time.

On the other, once he developed a connection, he's willing to do a lot for his children. He has given Nico a home, while he was running from the rest of the world. He came to support him with an army though he had no obligation to do so. He's giving Nico a room in his palace for when he ever needs it (though it's hinted that it's for when he dies) he let Nico procure a sword, he let Nico sneak his Roman sister out, he probably had some hand in getting him the pomogranate seeds that kept him alive.

So, yeah, I think Hades does have the best relationship with his demigod kids, probably because he only has so few demigod kids. But if he didn't like Nico... Things would've gone very differently.

6. Poseidon

Yeah, Poseidon isn't the best dad, but he isn't the worst. Once he gets to know his son a little, then he starts to protect him. That's when he started to look out for him. He doesn't do anything more than that, but sometimes that's enough. Honestly, I think he's doing pretty good for a godly parent.

But he doesn't exactly have the same relationship with his only son as Hades... Since he only shows up for when it's most necessary. So, Hades got the top spot between these two.

7. Hephaestus

So, Hephaestus is an interesting parent. First, comes the fact that even he's admitted he's not comfortable around people, and doesn't understand children. Despite that, he watches every single child of his, and probably claims them soon. He gives his children ideas, and appreciates them, even though he doesn't know how to communicate it.

He could use a little work, especially in letting his children know that he cares, but other than that, he's an alright father.

8. Apollo

So, Apollo could use a lot of work. And he's definitely improving now that ToA has ended. But even before that, he seemed like an... Alright parent. Not the best. Not the responsible one. More like the fun one. He remembers his children, and those children's mother and basic things like that. After ToA, he's definitely gonna be a lot more present in his kids' lives, and could have definitely ranked higher, but we haven't really seen any of that potential and hypothetical growth yet, so here he stands.

9. Aphrodite

So, Aphrodite doesn't really seem to be a great mom, considering everything. She's not exactly in touch with how her kids might want something different at times, and that tends to put a bit of pressure on them.

It's more like she doesn't care, until she decides it'll be fun to talk to them.

Honestly I have nothing that bad to say about her, but nothing good either

10. Demeter

Same thing. I genuinely don't get to see Demeter interacting with her kids to see how they get along, so I can't say anything in her defense, except there are definitely worse people.

11. Hermes

Okay... So Hermes doesn't exactly care. Sure he keeps half an eye on his kids, but he doesn't have any interest in keeping an eye on them until it's too late. He even admits it himself!

12. Athena

Oh boy, yeah, I know. So, Athena is extremely calculating. It's been shown that there is nothing she won't sacrifice in exchange for victory. It's openly admitted that several children of Athena have died going on the quest to find the Athena Parthenos, which is kinda messed up. And it's openly admitted she ignored her children for a long time. Annabeth was actually willing to die on a quest when she was twelve to gain her recognition and that's not okay.

13. Hera

You all know she sucks. Her entire marriage was doomed for disaster. Her actions might be justified, but lashing out and ruining the lives of people who have done nothing to you is just a new low.

14. Zeus

So many problems with this guy. We know he can't keep it in his pants. And yet he continues doing it. And those kids repeatedly get in major trouble because their father is ruining their lives and putting a target on their backs. And what does he do? Nothing. He does nothing!

No remorse, no help, never changes his ways. I hate him.

[365days365movies]

March 15, 2021: Clash of the Titans (1981) (Part One)

This one’s personal…sort of.

Other than the fact that this is based on Greek mythology (previously well-established as one of my favorite subjects), this movie is, in a way, responsible for my existence. And that is because, according to legend, this is the film that my parents went to on their first date. And apparently, it went very well, because I came into being 10 years afterwards. So, yeah, this film is personal, like Dirty Dancing.

And also like Dirty Dancing, I HAVEN’T SEEN IT? I don’t know HOW I escaped seeing this movie. And that’s especially considering that I’ve seen the new one. And that movie was...not great.

Maybe not the worst film I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely not a good movie. But OK, what’s this one about, exactly? Y’all ready for “The 365 Greek Mythology Hour” again? OK, then, here we go. SING IT LADIES

Clash of the Titans concerns the myth of Perseus, one of the greatest Greek heroes ever. Before Heracles, there was Perseus, son of Zeus. Yeah, Zeus, as he is wont to do, came down to Earth and had some good time with the princess of Argos, the beautiful Danaë. He came upon her while she was locked in a box by her dad, Acrisus, king of Argos.

Yeah, the Oracle at Delphi, ever the wisest, was visited by Acrisus one day, who wanted a son instead of a daughter. The Oracle spoke with Apollo (AKA huffed some of that SWEET SWEET ETHYLENE GAS), and told him that his daughter’s son would kill him. And so, he did the most logical thing: he locked her in a box. Yup. Dick. SPEAKING of dick, Zeus appeared to her in the open box as a golden shower. NOT THAT KIND OF GOLDEN SHOWER. I mean a literal shower of gold. Although...I wouldn’t put it past Zeus, of all gods. Dude was kinky.

So, Perseus is conceived, and Acrisus responds to this with his usual tact; he stuffs Danaë into a SMALLER box, and shoves it out to sea. She gives birth to a boy in the box, and the two eventually wash up on the shore of an island, where a fisherman finds them and takes them in. The boy is named Perseus.

Years go by, and Perseus’ mom is sought by his adoptive dad’s brother, and the king of the island, Polydectes. Polydectes is kind of a dick, and Perseus, now an adult man, doesn’t like him. The feeling’s mutual, and Polydectes has a plan. He holds a banquet, and forces all invited to bring a gift of horses. Perseus, being pretty poor, cannot bring this gift, but promises on his honor to bring whatever Polydectes wants of him, no matter what. And Polydectes asks for the head of Medusa.

Fuck.

Medusa’s one of your classic Greek monsters, a Gorgon. She’s one of Athena’s victims, formerly a vain temple priestess who was, well...raped by Poseidon, let’s be honest. However, since Athena’s priestesses were meant to be celibate, she was the one who ended up being punished. Fuckin’ YIKES. But OK, literal ancient gender politics aside, Athena cursed her with snakes for hair, and the ability to turn her victims into stone with a gaze into her eyes. Classic. And sure death for anyone who went after her.

So, Perseus is fucked. He’s gotta kill Medusa, and he doesn’t even have a way to get to her place. And that’s when he gets a favor from none other than Athena, goddess of wisdom and wartime strategy, as well as Perseus’ half-sister. I love Athena (other than the Medusa bullshit, obviously), and this is one of her most prominent roles in mythology. Well, that and the creation of spiders. That was also punishing a woman for her vanity, by the way. She has a type.

First, Perseus was told to find the Hesperides, nymphs of the dusk and dawn who would give him weapons. He got their location from the Greae, more colloquially known as the Gray Sisters. Weirdly enough, you may know them from Hercules, where they were combined with the Fates. They don’t have the future gimmick, but they do have that whole “sharing an eye” thing. Also, they share a tooth. Neat.

Anyway, Perseus takes their eye hostage, which makes them tell him where the Hesperides are. He goes to them, and they give him a bag to hold Meduga’s head. Then, the gods step in. Zeus decides to be a good dad for a change, and gives him an indestructible sword, and Hades’ Helmet of Invisibility. Hermes, another of Perseus’ half-brothers, gives him a pair of winged sandals to fly with. And Athena, technically Perseus’ patron, gives him a mirrored shield.

Perseus heads to the cave of Medusa, uses the shield, then goes up to her and cuts off her head. From her neck, for some goddamn reason, and golden sword pops out, alongside this guy.

Yeah, he’s not made out of clouds. He’s actually the, uh...he’s the result of Poseidon’s crime against Medusa. Fucked up, innit? Pegasus flies up to hang out with Bellerophon to kill the Chimera, and Perseus heads back to...actually, he goes to ANOTHER king who was a dick to him, and turns him into stone with Medusa’s head. Kings hate Perseus, seriously.

Perseus heads home after that, and goes through Ethiopia. There, he meets the King and Queen, Cepheus and Cassiopeia. Cassie’s gorgeous, but she tells Perseus that her daughter Andromeda is, like, WAY hotter, as beautiful as the sea goddesses. Which PISSES OFF POSEIDON (who is basically the villain of Perseus’ story, let’s be honest), and he send a sea monster named Cetus to destroy the kingdom, UNLESS they sacrifice Andromeda to it. And, because kings are assholes in this story, they do, chaining Andromeda to a rock. But, because Perseus believes that all women are queens, he goes to rescue her, and kills Cetus using all of his things. He weds Andromeda, and turns his romantic rival Phineus into stone using Medusa’s head.

Usually, that’s where retellings end, because there’s a recurring trend to Perseus’ story after that. A king is an asshole, Perseus whips out the head, asshole becomes statue of an asshole. However, there is that prophecy to contend with, about Perseus killing his grandfather. See, Acrisus basically retired by this point, and lived in the kingdom of Thessaly. But one day, he went to see some games, in which Perseus was competing in the discus. Well, wouldn’t you know it, Perseus isn’t great at it, and loses control of the discus, which hits Acrisus, killing him instantly.

Utimate frisbee, man. It’s dangerous.

There’s another version where Perseus uses Medusa’s head to turn his dad into stone, surprise surfuckingprise there. But yeah, after that the story varies. Sometimes he becomes a king, sometimes he doesn’t. He basically always marries Andromeda and has kids with her. Sometimes he founds a city of his own, sometime he doesn’t. And in one ending, where he’s lived to be an old king, he fulfills his ultimate destiny and turns Medusa’s head on himself. Geez.

So, yeah, there you go. That’s the story of Perseus. Let’s, uh...let’s see what the movie does, huh? This is another Ray Harryhausen joint, so I’m...tentatively excited for it. We’ll see how badly they mess up the myth, and whether or not it works despite that. So, ENOUGH of me lecturing you guys, huh?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin approximately where most iterations do: King Acrisius (Donald Houston) has just cast his daughter Danae (Vida Taylor) and grandson Perseus into the ocean, containing them within a wooden chest in order to “forgive his daughter’s crimes”. Yeah, sure, OK, buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

This also pisses off Zeus (Laurence Mother Fucking Olivier), who consorts with the rest of the Olympians on what to do to Acrisus. Said Olympians include Hera (Claire Bloom), goddess of marriage and women; Thetis (Maggie Mother Fucking Smith), goddess of the sea and leader of the Nereids; Athena (Susan Fleetwood), goddess of wisdom and strategic victory; Aphrodite (Ursula Andress), goddess of love; and Poseidon (Jack Gwillim), god of the sea.

Hera tries to defend Acrisus, noting his prior years of devotion to Zeus and the other gods. But Zeus ain’t HAVING that shit, and tells Poseidon to destroy the city of Argos in revenge. This is to be done by...releasing the last of the Titans? Which is apparently the Kraken. I mean...no, a thousand times no, but whatever.

This little tantrum is Zeus’ way of showing his love towards Danae, whose child Perseus is his. This is helpfully pointed out by Thetis, who seems...a little spiteful, as much as Hera is about Perseus. Seems like she’s stoking some fires. Hmm. She is Queen of the Nerieds, so she may play a larger role later on.

Beneath the sea, Poseidon readies himself to set loose the Kraken and destroy Argos, at Zeus’ command. Zeus, meanwhile, kills Acrisus by using a clay voodoo doll of sorts to strike him down. And that’s when Poseidon lets loose the Kraken for the first time. And the Kraken...

Guys, the Kraken looks...actually, I’ll spoil his appearance later on. The Kraken destroys the city, and Zeus kills Acrisius. So much for the goddamn prophecy that explains why Acrisius did what he did, but fuck me, I guess. Danae and Perseus, meanwhile, have safely arrived on the shores of the island of Seriphus, at Zeus’ insistence. There, Perseus grows from child into a fine young man, with Zeus always watching over him...and with Thetis and company always watching over Zeus. Interesting.

The adult Perseus (Harry Hamlin) lives happily on the island, much to Perseus’ delight. Thetis, on the other hand, asks about her mortal son, a young man named Calibos (Neil McCarthy). Apparently, Calibos is a bit of a monster, and while he’d been set to wed the princess Andromeda, he’s also managed to kil all living things on the island that he’s been given, save for a single winged horse named Pegasus. Hence...he is to be punished.

Calibos, by the way? Entirely original creation of the film, and there’s nobody like him in Greek mythology. Anyway, Thetis is crushed by this, and decides to exact revenge of both Perseus and her son’s would-be fiancee, Andromeda. She pledges to open up Perseus’ eyes to grim reality, and does so by placing him in the kingdom of Joppa, where Calibos was originally set to rule alongside Andromeda.

Here, in an amphitheatre, he encounters a mysterious masked and robed figure, who quickly reveals themselves to be Ammon (Burgess Meredith), a poet and playwright. Apparently, Ammon wears his disguise to scare off trespassers. He tells Perseus that all of Joppa is in a tizzy about a curse of some kind, and that the story of the fallen kingdom of Argos is a famous legend.

Ammon tells Perseus to go back home to Seriphus, but Perseus tells Ammon that he’s promised to restore his mother’s old kingdom, and decides that Joppa would be a good start. Despite his drive, though, Zeus is pissed off at Thetis for plopping Perseus down unprepared. He tells the other goddesses to give him gifts to help him claim the kingdom of Joppa as his own. This includes a helmet from Athena, a sword from Aphrodite, and a shield from Hera. I mean...OK, that’s super goddamn weird, but OK.

After Zeus leaves, the goddesses rightfully complain about Zeus’ constant womanizing, but note that he probably doesn’t remember Danae at this point, is is most likely acting out of stubborn pride for his “handsome son”. Their words, not mine.

In Joppa, Perseus finds the gifts by the statues of their grantors. The sword from Aphrodite is adamantine, like the original myth, and slices through marble without a blemish. The shield from Hera...talks. Yeah. The shield bears the visage of Zeus, who tells him that the weapons are gifts from the gods, and that the helmet from Athena turns the wearer invisible. I mean, fuck Hades, I guess, but OK. Technically Athena did give the helmet to Perseus, so OK.

Armed with his new gear, an invisible Perseus immediately takes off to see Joppa, sans his sword. We only see his footsteps in the sand as he leaves, which is legitimately a VERY neat effect, and I’m not sure how they did it, but it’s neat as hell. Off to Joppa, a vaguely Phoenician/Persian kingdom, despite the fact that the original Joppa, or Jaffa, is a port city in Israel.

There, he meets a soldier, Thallo (Tim Pigott-Smith), who tells him of the situation. Since Calibos fell to Zeus’ wrath, Andromeda rejected him, allowing any suitor to try for her hand, whether they be royal or not. To do so, they must answer a riddle. If they fail to answer, the would-be suitor is burned to death. This is lorded over by Queen Cassiopeia (Sian Phillips), while Andromeda (Judi Bowker) lives in the tower of the palace.

Which is why Perseus IMEDIATELY uses the helmet to go into her room that night! CLASSY, PERSEUS. There, he sees...a giant vulture bring a cage to Andromeda’s balcony. No idea where in the fuck this is going, but that’s a damn good looking vulture. God, I love Harryhausen.

Anyway, the vulture is here for Andromeda’s soul, which leaves her body and goes to sit in the cage. The vulture takes off with it, al as the invisible Perseus watches on. He takes this opportunity to touch Andromeda’s face in her sleep (stop, Perseus, for the love of Zeus), then decides that winning Andromeda is his destiny. And so, his simpin’ journey begins.

The next day, Perseus asks Ammon how they can follow the vulture, who has apparently headed to the marshes to the “marsh lord”. To follow the vulture, Ammon suggests that they find and capture the last of the winged horses, known as Pegasus. And we’ve officially lost the track of Greek mythology at this point. Shit.

Well, with Ammon’s help, Perseus captures Pegasus and rides him through the skies. Meanwhile, in Corinth, some dude named Bellerophon is just having a stroke, I guess, because he’s totally fucked now. Whatever. The next day, the vulture comes back to Andromeda’s place and takes her soul to the marsh. But this time, Perseus and Pegasus follow them.

In the marsh, the marsh-lord and riddle-maker is revealed as Calibos, who is still in love with the beautiful Andromeda. As she cannot love him, he provides to her another riddle to give her would-be suitors. In tears, she memorizes the riddle and its answer, Calibos touches her uncomfortably, even as Andromeda asks him to lift his curse and show pity. But he refuses, in pain from his love. Jesus, this movie should be called Clash of the Simps, goddamn.

Perseus was watching the whole thing, though, which Calibos immediately figures out when he sees Perseus’ footsteps in the dirt. As Perseus goes through the swamp looking for Pegasus, he’s found and attacked by Calibos. Calibos, by the way, is a guy in pretty solid makeup in close-up shots, and a Harryhausen model in far-away shots.

The two struggle, the helmet is lost in the swamp, and Perseus draws his sword. But we suddenly cut away to see the daily ritual of the presentation for Andromeda’s would-be suitors. Perseus steps in, having survived the attack from last night, and offers his hand to Andromeda, who recognizes Perseus from a dream. She gives the riddle, which is ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. Here, I’ll prove it.

In my mind’s eye, I see three circles joined in priceless harmony. Two, full as the moon; one, hollow as a crown. Two from the sea, five fathoms down. One from the Earth, deep under the ground. What is it?

Any guesses? Anybody?

NO MATTER WHAT YOU FAIL. Because the answer is Calibos’ ring! HOW IN THE SHIT WOULD ANYBODY HAVE GUESSED THAT? It’s a golden ring with two pearls on it! WHO KNOWS THAT SHIT? I call complete bullshit, and the only reason that Perseus knows it is because he spied on this last night! Also, because he cut off Calibos’ hand, and made him renounce his curse, which is...never really specified, now that I think about it.

With that, Perseus has both Andromeda’s and Calibos’ hands! HA! Calibos is not as amused, as he preys to his other Thetis, at a temple of hers. He demands that Thetis take revenge on those whom Perseus loves, specifically Andromeda and the city of Joppa itself. He demands justice, but Thetis identifies this correctly as revenge. All the while, Perseus declares his love for Andromeda, and they seal their union with a kiss and ritual.

During this ritual, in which Andromeda and Perseus are essentially married, Queen Cassiopeia, LIKE A DUMBASS, says that Andromeda is more beautiful than the goddess Thetis herself. Yeah. BAD FUCKING MOVE, especially because she said that IN FRONT OF THETIS’ FUCKING SANCTUARY. At least that dumbass move was kept from the original story.

Well, Thetis tells Cassie that she can only atone for her stupidity in one way: sacrifice your daughter to the Kraken in 30 days. Later on, Perseus speaks with Ammon to figure out how they can defeat the Kraken. Ammon suggests speaking with the “Stygian Witches”, who I’m assuming are our Grey Sisters for the night. However, according to Thallo, they have a taste for human flesh. Still, Perseus is going, as are Ammon, Thallo, and Andromeda. But not Pegasus.

Well...shit, man. That changes a few things, huh? But that’ll be addressed...IN PART TWO! See you there!

[the8thsphynx]

p,,, p l e a s e ? I mean, please don't feel pressured to tell us about Herc either though!!! but if you want to ramble about her I'll very happily listen,,,,, as a greek mythology buff with fate brain rot your Herc makes me,,,, very happy,,,,, 🥺

HECC YEAH!

Alright, so as a disclaimer, she looks Like That(tm) because I’ve had Heracles as an OC since I was like an 11yo, so LONG before I even knew Fate existed and I’m not planning on changing the way she looks to look more like FSF/FSN Herc.

I also think that the armor I already have designed on her looks closer to Achilles/Jason/Asclepius/Odysseus’s more mecha-centered looks for Fate Greek Servants.

Next, I’ve established that the reason she is female is two separate reasons, and this has to do with compatibility for Roleplay:

When I did roleplay with others, I just had it set that she was from Musashi’s timeline and she isn’t actually the Heracles/Alcides of our timeline.

For my personal writing, it’s like an Artoria situation where history chose to remember her as a man because misogynistic Ancient Greece being like, ‘well there’s no way a woman could be a child of Zeus and this powerful and skilled at being in charge, so you must actually be a man’.

Second Disclaimer: no one has permission to take my designs and recreate them or use them for RP or fanfics.

SO listed below are the major points about her history in this verse and also how she currently operates as a Servant!!

In her history:

Same song and dance as the beginning where her powers surfaced at a young age, so Chiron found her and took her in to train her to be a hero. However, the change-up here is that Zeus gifted Heracles a portion of his power when she was born because he had the intention of this child being the hero that would guide Greece into a new age as his tickcet for his bet with Hera (this was in the 12 Trials original writing). Basically she never had a choice on whether or not she would be a hero.

When she traveled to Thebes in order to attempt to enter the Thebian Army, a whole situation happened with a coup and an attack with a hydra from Lernaea that got lured to Thebes from a nest by the people doing the coup... It was an entire thing. Heracles defeated the hydra and helped identify the traitor guards, so she was able to prove herself to Queen Eurydice and King Creon, who immediately had her married to their son Megara (below).

(he may have been in line for the Thebian throne and an incredibly skilled warrior, but he was THE Malewife.)

A bit before she moved to Thebes, when she was staying in Athens, Eurystheus met her and fell in love with her, but when she rejected his feelings that was when Hera came to him and ‘chose him as her champion’ so she could start her dirty ass scheme.

Heracles had a happy and loving marriage with Megara and they had one daughter and two sons. She would frequently go out with the Argonauts, but always came home to them as soon as she got back on shore.

When the Hera Snake Shit(tm) happened, Heracles was... broken. After the fact, the shock and grief made her go mad all over again until she dragged herself to Thebes and tried to convince Eurystheus to execute her, but because he was in cahoots with Hera he forced Heracles to the 12 Trials instead to ‘redeem’ herself... and this shit lasted 12 years, btw. So that’s 12 years of retraumatizing herself by being forced to do these impossible feats to be forgiven for the murders she was forced by Hera to commit... on top of Hera also sabotaging the Trials wherever she could.

When Heracles completed the initial 10, Eurystheus tricked her into two more, and after completing those two she snapped and nearly killed him, screaming at him to free her. It was then that Eurystheus bitched out and confessed everything to Heracles; Hera’s hatred, her whole plan... all of it. Heracles then stormed her ass out of Mycenae and Thebes and never returned.

She spent the rest of her life until her death by Nessus being cruel, cold, and tyrannical. Heracles had 1 (one) last biological child that she left with a king who would eventually raise that child to found Sparta (Leonidas’s ancestor), but the rest of her very numerous children were all actually orphaned or less fortunate children that she adopted so they could claim the title of ‘child of Heracles’ to help themselves get ahead in life (this is where the Heracleidae came to be). Even so, she usually left them on their own and didn’t open herself to them as a mother-figure.

Her life as a Servant:

She may have manifested as an Avenger class, but this is because of Megara becoming a part of her soul and manifesting with her as the manifestation of her hatred for the gods; he’s made the active choice to turn himself into the arrow meant to kill Hera.

If it weren’t for Megara bonding with her Spirit Core, Heracles would qualify for Grand Berserker class. Because of this, Heracles still has a Madness Enhancement factor that will kick in when she encounters a god. Very similar to when Penthisilea goes buckwild at the mention of Achilles, except it only activates and makes her black out when she is face-to-face with and aware that someone is a god.

Despite being an Avenger, she has an incredibly sweet disposition, especially towards kids. A habit from her life that stuck with her as a Servant is that if she sees a child (Heroic Spirit or not) who has no parents or awful parents, she WILL adopt them and start calling them her child, and no, not in the creepy weird m*mmy k*nk way, foh. In some cases, she’ll just adopt someone because they look like they could be her child. One fucking hilarious instance of this is that she has adopted Archer Emiya even though he gripes all the time that they look the same age physically. Does she care?? NO, that’s her son, babey!

Her Noble Phantasms are the almost the same as FSF Archer Alcides, especially Reincarnation Pandora and King’s Order... and Reincarnation Pandora is actually the reason why she would up contracting with Goetia. But she also has the manifestation of all 12 Trials, albeit in a different form than what Archer Alcides can bring them forth as, and this is because by some handiwork by Daedalus, Heracles can alter the King’s Order to adapt to whatever situation she needs them for.

ex: Cerberus can become a motorcycle aside from also being a three headed hellhound and the famous Lernian Hydra can turn into a Mercedes Benz aside from also being the fuck-off giant Kinghidorah.

Daedalus messing with Heracles’s Noble Phantasms is the most shown in her (Daedalus is a woman in this verse bc fuk u) alteration of Nine Lives to be a multi-adaptable weapon with nine different functionalities that Heracles can flip them to at a moment’s notice. These alternate forms include: bow, twin swords, double-ended spear, polearm, long barreled rifle, twin short arms, bludgeon, battering ram, and can even conform to the braces on her arms and become gauntlets (yes, her and Ruler Martha would vibe).

(I realize that this isn’t the best design, I’m still working on drawing weapons)

Oh, I almost forgot about her other non-combatant quirk: she fucking LOVES blond men. If a grown dude is a blond and NOT a Greek-- regardless of anything else about their physical appearance-- it cranks their attractiveness scale up by at least 2 points for her. Goetia, Fionn, Arthur/Artoria, Gawain, Kintoki, Gilgamesh (he’s on thin fuckin ice), Jekyll, Goredolf... none of them are safe.

She also very much loves modern era fashion and dressing up. Heracles quickly befriends a lot of the female Servants/staff and goes on periodic ladies nights out with them.

[an-american-teen-against-crime]

Nancy Drew ep. 16; The Haunting of Nancy Drew

WOW. Holy Hera this was an episode. I have so many thoughts so this is me basically processing everything haha.

Spoilers (but you already knew that)

Where to start? Well let’s just get the big stuff out of the way first and see if I want to talk about anything else.

The first reveal with reading the diary was like a surprise, but it made sense and honestly up till this point I couldn’t really settle on Lucy’s killer because no one seemed satisfying enough, ya know? Like that sounds weird but essentially no one really made sense except for the Hudsons and that was just basic. 

I really liked how Nancy called the whole town out, and I thought it was a good point to make. They had all driven her to this point and I feel that they executed that message well. It’s seriously such a sad story, because even though the town was so cruel to her, her family still cared, Karen, the Drews, and of course Ryan. If she had somehow gotten out of that town, maybe ran away with Ryan she would have had a chance at a better life. Just honestly getting away from his awful family and crazy father. 

But then with the end reveal of Nancy being her daughter? blew me away. I had heard the theory for a while but I didn’t believe it because I wanted more evidence for it. I want to go back and rewatch the show though now knowing why. I’m still a little confused why Lucy didn’t want Nancy to find the diary, but whatevs. 

Carson telling the story was amazing (Scott did such a wonderful job) and just realizing that the reason Lucy had been haunting Nancy this whole time because she was her daughter? Heavy stuff. It’s kinda a cliche “THERE WAS A BABY” twist but at the same time I feel like you can tell they planned for this the whole time which makes it feel like an actual pay off, and it really adds to the story and characters.

But with this reveal putting things into perspective it just raises so many questions and feelings. Nancy lost BOTH the mom that raised her and she never knew her birth mother. 

Ryan is now her biological father, which I am SO excited to develop on the show. It looks like he’s going to find out next episode which is going to be super interesting to watch, and also just taking this fact into account while looking back on Nancy and Ryan’s dynamic is cool. She hates his guts at the beginning of the series, and is constantly uncovering his secrets and wrecking his life, like she does, even accusing him of murdering Lucy (thinking back to that rain scene last ep-wowie). I’m excited to see how their dynamic will be going forward, and even though Carson will always be Nancy’s father figure (of course) I want to see how Nancy and Ryan’s relationship plays out. Ryan is a character that at the start of the series I hated with vehemency,  but have grown to be rather fond of as the show has continued. You can tell he really cared about Lucy and honestly the poor guy just needs to disown his family. 

I also wanted to mention the sort of Chekov’s gun in Lucy’s house, where they saw a bee’s nest and both Ryan and Nancy said they were allergic. I kept thinking something would happen with it-because why mention it- and while the actual bees (or wasps..?) never came into play the fact that it’s a clue to their relation does.

(also let’s just NOT think about Ryan and George. Thanks)

I also want to bring up the Hudsons because they are not just clowns, they are the entire circus. THIS DUDE (Mr Hudson) straight up caused the death of Lucy, told her to abort the baby and yet

the baby lives and becomes literally his worst problem.

Like dude, ya’ll messed up BIG TIME. Nancy’s comin for ya and she’s gonna wreck yo life. This homeslice didn’t want Lucy involved with his fam, and now his GRANDDAUGHTER is Lucy’s kid, forever tied to the family and is gonna be the new thorn in his side for the rest of his life. If he had just been a chill dad to Ryan this never would have happened so jokes on his dumb butt.

That’s karma for ya my dude.

(also can we talk about how he said he’d mess nancy up like he did lucy not being aware that lucy was legit her mom) (and the fact that ryan has been so annoyed with nancy getting involved in his life when shes his kid) (I could go on for days)

ANYWAYS LAST MINUTE NOTES:

-I really do not like Owen and he is as shady as the second circle of hell, he stole a bone from Lucy’s body???? why ??? and is for sure up to something. I would not be surprised if he was also involved in trying to kill Ryan/accidentally killing Tiffany. He could have moved whatshisname’s body and I also would like to mention he was suspiciously not at Ryan’s meeting that night. 

-Also I hate him so if he’s bad that’s great

-Chief McGinnis IS LEAVING FOR SOME REASON?!?! they never used this wonderful man enough and now he’s leaving I’m upsetti

-still dont know how I feel about Ned Nick and George

soooooo yeah, if you made it to the end of this, good job! I’d love to discuss this episode with ya’ll and see what you guys thought!

[reblogthiscrapkay]

Persephone in Disney’s “Hercules”

After doing my write-up on “Jasper in Deadland”, which doesn’t actually have the myth of Persephone in it but does have her and Hades as characters, I found myself thinking, ‘why don’t I do more write-ups about media that has Persephone in it even if her myth isn’t directly addressed?’ And once I had that thought, I decided I should talk about Disney’s “Hercules,” which is probably just as famous for its portrayal of Hades as it is for literally anything else about it.

I think anyone’s automatic thought when I say Persephone in Disney’s “Hercules” is that she’s not actually in the movie at all and that’s not actually correct.

I’m not crazy about her design but it’s not the worst thing. Why is she so blonde when most of the other gods seem to be more monochromatic (and as I’ve said before I’m not into blonde Persephone)? In fact, her lack of monochrome makes me wonder if they might have intended other things for her since the gods who aren’t mostly one color in general have more importance in the narrative. Also her earrings are probably supposed to be leaves but they look more like feathers to me. 

Persephone is only in the background of the pantheon scenes with her standing next to her mother in the opening scene and being one of the gods to crowd around Hercules at the end. So what is there to talk about? That. The fact that she is there and the fact that she is only in the background. This is important. In some stories this would be a minor detail that just shows that someone did their homework, but in this story where Hades is the main villain and easily the most memorable character, there’s a discussion to be had.

Before I get into depth about the villain aspect, I want to point out the fact that villains of the Disney Renaissance era are some of the most often cited when someone wants to have a discussion about queer coding in media and Hades’ name comes up basically every time. To me, he reads more like a sleazy used car salesman than a queer-coded villain (I think Radcliffe from “Pocahontas” or Ursula from “Little Mermaid” are more straight forward examples to point out for a straight audience) but there are definitely moments in the film where you can see this; his gay best friend-esque dialogues with Meg are pretty notable. That being said, this Hades being into ladies would not feel incorrect to me, a queer. Isn’t every Hades at least a touch bisexual (and everyone in Greek mythology for that matter)? Happy Pride!

So moving past the queer-coding discussion, we get to the villain issue. Giving a villain someone to love is going to change the dynamic of the villain and the story and is a really complicated choice for most writers. There’s a reason why every live action movie with the Joker in it has either had no Harley Quinn or Harley was the main character and the Joker was secondary. And they happen to be a couple with a bad relationship where you could easily have one of them throw the other under a bus if needed! Including Persephone in this story as Hades’ wife would mean that it would be really hard to make Hades the villain. In almost every medium where Hades has a Persephone, he isn’t presented as a villain but instead strictly lawful neutral, and you could still have a funny Hades who’s lawful neutral (look at “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” or “Jasper In Deadland” for example).

Sure, there’s the option of making Persephone a villain too, but while there’s no real precedence to make Hades a villain outside of a lot of conflating him with the devil through incorrect translations and confusion, there is absolutely no precedence to make Persephone a villain. Hades’ villainy already only works in this story because they have set it up that Zeus single-handedly won the Titanomachy and assigned the Underworld to Hades, leaving him bitter about it. In some versions of the myth of Persephone, Hades’ bitterness at his lot in the Underworld is actually the driving force behind him wanting a wife in the first place. Persephone would likely be a placating force for Hades, causing the more straightforward hero-villain narrative to not work and Disney’s shtick at this time was very much about straightforward hero-villain narratives.

There’s also the general problem that Persephone’s presence would make Hades WAY too powerful as this amazing Tumblr post discusses.

So Persephone as a villain is bizarre and she would likely be a positive thing for Hades. What if they had a relationship that was bad i.e. Joker/Harley? It would be a complete Greek God couple inversion since this movie shows Zeus and Hera as a happy couple (again, the goal was to simplify; this is also why Hercules is their child isn’t of Zeus and Alcmene). Well, then you basically have the horrible “Lightning Thief” movie (which I should maybe write about some time) and honestly, I think it would read really badly. If you don’t get why, go watch that film (but don’t, it’s terrible). Hades is unique is the Disney villain pantheon because he’s so likable and while he does bad things, his motives make a bit more sense than a lot of Disney villains. I think giving him a wife who he’s mean to would not only decrease his likability substantially but I think it would also be kind of controversial. Hades certainly wouldn’t be the iconic character that he is. It would also likely distract from the amount of time he spends interacting with Meg, who is not just a love interest to Hercules but a hugely important factor in the plot. Even if Persephone is equally mean to him, I think you’d still end up in this problem of having to address how two people who hate each other ended up married and then you’re into having to pose Hades as a kidnapper who regrets his choices. Also, I think in 1997 the married-couple-who-hate-each-other trope was mercifully on its way out.

So what if Hades and Persephone are married and it’s a decent marriage but Persephone just doesn’t know about any of his evil plans? That’s workable. Hades’ original plan to kill Hercules is pretty quietly done, and his all out war plan could have involved her being cooped up in Elysium and oblivious. Heck, you could even have the movie play out entirely as is until the scene where he’s enslaving the gods and then suddenly they see each other and he’s like, “Good news, honey! Soon everywhere will be my domain and you won’t have to be cooped up underground half the year!” and she’s like, “Is this what you were planning in your office every night?! You complete idiot!” That would kind of even give Hades more motive without having to mess with Persephone’s character.

I haven’t really touched on what might actually be the most obvious answer of why Persephone is in this movie but not as Hades’ wife: that just hasn’t happened yet. I’m sure this is the argument anyone who worked on the film would make. Okay, sure, there are no winter scenes in the film, but that whole thing is implied to happen long before any of the famous demigods are born. Perhaps this is just the answer. Although I think he’d have a much harder time winning her over now after he, you know, tried to take over the world.

The life of Disney’s “Hercules” Hades didn’t actually end with the film by the way. In the television show, which would have been the perfect place to tell the myth of Persephone, Hades actually has a crush on Aphrodite instead. While it’s kind of cute to give him a crush in general, why did they give up on this prime myth real estate to make this up out of nowhere? And it did in fact make him more sympathetic, but he’s also just far less villainous in the show. Disney just can’t stop with this Hades redemption and romance arc thing either. In the third “Descendants” movie, Hades is there as Mal’s father meaning that he canonically had sex with Maleficent from “Sleeping Beauty.” I had to lie down after that one. But it’s worth noting that while he’s a totally absent father until the point that this film happens, he has his reasons, his characterization in that movie is 100% sympathetic, and he’s not a villain at all.

Gosh, Disney. Just give the man his wife already!

(And in case you were wondering, there is some really cute fan art out there of these two if you have a burning need.)

[geejaysmith]

Wolf 359 Classpects, pt. 1

Soooo, while I was still busy with the last few weeks of my summer internship, I did keep thinking about classpecting the Wolf 359 cast. Possibly too much, because it wouldn't leave me alone until I'd solved my own God Tier riddle. Unfortunately, it got really long in the solving because I have many Thoughts and want to share all of them, always, so uh, a complete Classpect Analysis of Wolf 359 will be in parts? This first one covers Eiffel's, Hera's, Lovelace's and Minkowski's aspects.

DOUG EIFFEL: An utter no-brainer; ya boi Dougie Fresh is a Breath player if I ever saw one. For Chrissakes, he's the communications officer, and the first one to start complaining about the monotony of being stuck in a deep space sardine can. Breath is associated with communication, freedom, openness, and change - "free as the breeze", you might think of it, but that also leads to Breath players having trouble pinning themselves down to anything. They get skittish if they feel pinned down, and frustrated when stuck in place. Doug's noncommittal aloofness, the way he's off in his own little world (partially to hide from the fact he really does not like himself very much at all), and the way he's incorporated media into his self-perception all match pretty well with John and the Nitrams. But at the same time, he's the one playing mediator even as early as The Sound And The Fury. Being largely outside of the War Industrial Complex the other characters are so familiar with and thus mostly free from its dogmatic worldview of hierarchy and order, he's becomes the One Sane Man when he's the one to shout "what is WRONG with you people?" when "murder" shows up in the top 3 potential solutions to a problem, and he has no hesitation in saying what's on his mind. And it's not all complaints and bad ideas, either; he's got whole speeches telling the others how amazing he thinks they are and how in awe he is of their skills. A key catalyst in the plot of Wolf 359 is the reaching effects of his radio broadcasts. Also, there's something hilarious to the fact that for the aspect associated with communication, Doug *literally* cannot lie to save his life. I kept my ears open for the infamous Breath Hex on my second listen - that is, the strange little way in which things Breath players say tend to come to pass in reality. Cigarette Candy is basically 20 straight minutes of the Decima virus being Breath Hexed into existence, and he guessed Lovelace's situation in one - "Maybe she's a clone, or like a *really* good robot replica."

HERA: Another easy one. Although Hera is resistant to splintering as we've come to recognize it, Heart players are nothing if not determined to be an individual. They have a firm idea of themselves as a person and defend it fiercely, including compartmentalizing away pieces that don't fit their self-image. Maybe less actively putting them down like Jade Harley did to Jadesprite (the manifestation of the negative feelings she repressed out of fear they'd make her less useful) - that would mean attacking or denying a part of themselves - and more... "why yes, I put this part of myself in this box, and I may look at the box on occasion, the box definitely exists, but I don't go near the box and I definitely do not touch or open or interact with the box. And then one day, I will die." So that piece finds other avenues to express itself because it can't not do that. Hera's programming dictates she be "chipper and non-confrontational and always ready to help", but she actively resists being a mere utility and always has - her earliest know action was to attempt a jailbreak of the manufacturing facility she was made in, born rebel that she is. She will insist upon her name over her serial number unless you force her not to, and gets passive-aggressive at people treating her like a machine. And yet, even as she teaches herself to ignore commands literally written into the base of her personality, she doesn't reject her directive to be helpful, nor does she express a wish to be a flesh-and-blood human, or even really to have a physical form? She has a human self-image in mental spaces (we presume, I will semi-seriously point out there's nothing definitively stating she doesn't see herself as like, her fursona or something), but when she has to limit herself to a human-like view of the ship, her immediate reaction is "this is weird, I don't like it."  This is honestly something about Hera that I think may be unique among non-villainous AI characters; she seems to be content with being what she is in general, and she just wishes for people to treat her as a person and not a piece of equipment they can do with as they please.  

ISABEL LOVELACE: Arm-wrestled Hera for the Heart aspect and lost, despite Hera not actually having any arms, but that's okay because there's two aspects that fit her much better: Blood and Time. I ultimately went with Blood.

This is the part where you notice I'm onto the third of four characters in an aspects-only meta post, yet there is still a lot of post to go. This is because These Kinds Of Characters, the sort that're constantly on emotional lockdown, are a Challenge Mode, and for me to truly be satisfied with my classification I have to start drilling into the bedrock of what it even means to have an aspect in general, what it means to have a specific aspect, and what each aspect is really about. When you're on that level you tend to find yourself throwing out explicit expositional statements as incomplete, oversimplified, or unreliable, and looking at the text directly with a subtextual electron microscope. Brace yourselves. I have thrown the author out of the airlock, and I am about to get verbose.  

Lovelace's character sheet describes her in contradictions, and we get to see two different sides to her that resolve into the complete picture by the time Lovelace Mk. III wakes up. There's Captain Isabel Lovelace, goofing around in her earlier logs, and The Terminator. She does things Her Way and is very much prepared to fight you if you object - the whole reason she was picked for the Hephaestus mission was her willingness to go against (in her words) "stupid orders" and do what she thought was right. She's also fiercely loyal; The Terminator is the end result of her anger and grief for her lost crew and at her failure to get them home alive. Her backstory episode has her summing up her complicated relationship to the Air Force with "I owe a lot of who I am to them." And even before she and Minkowski have completely stopped butting heads, Lovelace shoves her out of the way of an exploding wall panel that would've killed her, and takes a near-fatal bit of shrapnel to the gut in the process. At her best, Lovelace is a fearless, boundlessly determined, dedicated firebrand of a leader. At worst, she can be impatient, stubborn, shortsighted, and ruthless. I dunno about you but that reminds me of a certain... angry crab that I know.

"Time" was what a few people chimed in with for Lovelace and while I see some of the connections (her awareness of the time loop, "Variations on a Theme", her multiple selves and multiple deaths, the repeated motif of clocks and pocketwatches) I don't think she quite fits in with the other Time players. Unlike most Time players, she doesn't have a fixation with historic context, the "Why Things Are The Way That They Are." This manifests in Dave's paleontology and his taking of source material for ironic twisting, Aradia's archaeology and knowledge of The Nature Of The Game, Damara's... /noises and vague gestures bc I don't want to go back through Meenahbound but her role as The Handmaid fits the pattern, and Caliborn's own warped, thoughtless replication of narrative archetypes. Context. Decisions. What came before and how it shapes the now, where your decisions will take it from here. The consequences those decisions will have. The details versus the larger picture. Even failure has its place in that scheme - that's the Time aspect. Lovelace doesn't like to dwell, she's a very "barrelling forward momentum" kind of person.

Side note: Aradia, Dave, and Damara all face hesitation to take action they had to learn to overcome. Also, all of them had to be pushed to use violence except in self-defense; Aradia let Vriska cross a series of lines before beating the everloving shit out of her, and Damara snapped after what, years? Of Meenah's abuse. Dave, on the other hand, never raises a hand to another person except as a complete necessity. Caliborn is, if anything, an aberration here in that he's outright homocidal and self-doubt is something that happens to other people. Caliborn is an outright aberration to a lot of Time player patterns, and to SBURB in general, because it's SBURB, so the rules are made up and the points don't fucking matter, except when they do, because Fuck You, The Author Said So.

No, Lovelace's approach to decision-making is that regrets are for afterwards, and "if I fail I deserve to be out of this picture; also, this situation has gone entirely pear-shaped, time to fling myself into the sun." (and that sounds an awful lot like someone that I know very well, but I'll deal with that royal mess when I get to the crazy whamma-jamma that is Classes). Impatience and railroading of other people can be her undoing just the same as assertiveness and decisiveness are her gifts.

...aaand then I went ahead and watched the live episode and yeah, major Karkat vibes there. However, I note that I don't believe we have ever hit hard evidence in Homestuck that Blood players are capable of Chilling The Fuck Out - this is part of the limitations of classpecting characters who weren't made for this system, you really have to dig into how much of their behavior is situational and where you see the kernel of individual perception shine through, the Rosetta Stone by which you begin to see the constants. "Where the object becomes the subject", to quote Memoria.

Finally, I think it's also worth noting that while Lovelace has a lot of connections to Time motifs, she also has connections to a lot of Blood motifs that arguably become more important to her story. Personal bonds and social justice are two of the Blood aspects strongest associations - see Lovelace's loyalty to her crew, and extending her desire to avenge them out to everyone Goddard Futuristics has ever used and tossed aside. The physical body and literal blood are other strong associations, and gee, how many times does the O-negative Cure-All Alien Juice in Lovelace's veins become a critical plot point? Not to mention the implication that her new friends all pulled through the finale because all of them now have her blood in their system. I'll accept that she's closer to the line between Blood and Time than some, but I'm holding by ground here: 

(Also, here's some irony for you, she may share an aspect with the Cancer trolls, but her birthday is August 11th, making her a Leo.)

RENEE MINKOWSKI: Minkowski was the hardest of these 4 to come to a decision on. My first inclination was Mind. Her general disposition put me in mind of a Life player. But then, I sat down and thought my way past the Commander's layers of emotional armor and ultimately settled on Light.

First off, by being a stickler for protocol and procedure as well as an Actual Responsible Adult, Minkowski is a kind of character that Homestuck straight-up just does not have, so snap judgements aren't gonna cut it here.  This is, again, another limitation of the classpecting system - all the examples we have to draw from are teenage disasters stuck in a lawless hellscape of some description or another, and written by an author allergic to boxing himself in with hard conclusions. But I digress.

Commander Minkowski is also stubborn. When she sets her mind to something, she digs in her heels, cranks the dial to 11, and then breaks off the knob and pockets it so you can't turn it back down. We see this as soon as episode 2, and at it's most hyperbolic when she Captain Ahabs the plant monster. Her's is iron-willed, bloody-minded, unstoppable, Determi-fucking-nation - when she sets her mind to it.

The submarine thought exercise is what had me initially lock her down as a hero of Mind before I mulled it over. The exercise is meant to provoke thought about priorities - what you think your role's purpose is in that situation will determine your priorities, and thus, your decisions. Mind heroes' most prominent skills are in riding the flow of causality, watching decisions, their causes and their consequences, and directing that path. They know people, and how to direct people. But the need for this means that they can get a little co-dependent. Other people are understandable - it's themselves that Mind heroes have the greatest struggle with. Without that vehicle of another person, Mind heroes may find themselves adrift and struggling to define themselves. This is fitting, given Mind is the most direct counterpart to the Heart aspect.

However, upon further examination, I found that this framework of priorities setting your decisions can also be extended to the Light aspect. What is "lucky" in a given situation? What do you define as a fortunate outcome? Rose arguably gets Grimdark'd by something like this, she asks the cue ball "are the horrorterrors evil?" and in doing so attempts to pry into the motivations and intent of *indescribable eldritch beings existing on a nigh-incomprehensible plane* and wedge it down into a relative human understanding of morality, which is sort of like trying to fit the Pacific Ocean into a water bottle. She was trying to deduce what impact the horrorterrors would have upon her and her friends, but asked the wrong question and got an answer she couldn't handle. She didn't recognize Doc Scratch was baiting her into this by leading her into a specific framework through which to ask the question. Vriska died because of her failure to recognize she was in a situation where luck didn't matter. Aranea got trounced because of her inability to recognize that reshuffling reality to prioritize herself and her preferred outcomes still didn't overcome the fundamental nature of timelines - you try to take over the alpha timeline with an insubordinate branch? That's a doomed timeline no matter how you slice it, and we know what happens to those. Luck and knowledge are both used by the Light-bound to give themselves power, whether in showing themselves off as The Smart One or the The Helpful One or The Unstoppable One, but their limited viewpoint often leads them to overlook the limitations of their own framework, or in other words, missing the bigger picture. I'll point out here also how Minkowski has the entire DSSPPM memorized and is the one who wants to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is really going on up at Wolf 359. Additionally, one of her other ambitions, at least once upon a time, was writing musicals. The verbal arts are one of the domains of Light players.

So while on the surface, Minkowski bears the most resemblance to a Life player, Life players tend to have an element of conformity to them. Unquestioned assumptions they've internalized have about the context in which they exist. Light heroes, on the other hand, need conformity so they have something to defy when they jump up and down screaming LOOK AT ME!  

So after much pontificating, I came to a decision. In the end, what Minkowski wanted more than anything else was a stage. Maybe to direct rather than hold the spotlight, but still; that's a Light hero if ever I saw one.

[frickengreenfrickyeah]

An Irreverent Intro to the Iliad

A/N:I’ve taken the introduction to the Lombardo translation and condensed it. Any time I says something to the effect of “don’t quote me on this” that means I’ve added my own analysis or thoughts that I cannot back up in any way, so don’t, like, put it in an essay if you don’t plan on doing your own research.

Anyway, you don’t care about that stuff, you came here to read about the Iliad.

It’s really fricken long, so, for the sake of mobile users, everything’s under the cut except for this:

“Rage. Bitch, lemme tell you about the time that Achilles fucked over the entire Greek army by Rage-quitting.”

Timeline for the Noobs 

Ten years ago:

Aphrodite bribes Paris so she can win a beauty contest between herself, Athena, and Hera. Paris’ reward for his ‘heroics’ is Helen

(There’s probably an essay’s worth of symbolism you could dig into here, what with the goddesses all representing different priorities: erotic love, wisdom/justice, and familial duty. I wonder what Paris’ choice reveals about his character?)

There’s some disagreement about whether or not Helen when with Paris willingly

Seeing as literally no other woman in the Iliad (and maybe the entire Cycle? Don’t quote me on that) willingly went with her kidnapper, I’m calling bull on that. Do with that what you will.

Menelaus gets really mad that Paris stole his wife, so he rounds up the Greek army, and they go to war. (It’s worth noting that Athena and Hera are both on his side here.)

Present day:

Agamemnon(Boo), Menelaus’ brother kidnaps a girl. Then he has the balls to get upset that the girl’s father called Apollo’s plague down upon the Greeks until she’s returned

Achilles points out that Agamemnon’s being a dick and people are literally dying because he won’t let go of one girl. Agamemnon says, “Fine. If I have to give up my lady-war-prize, I’m taking yours as recompense.”

Achilles allows Agamemnon to take his girl, then Rage-quits. As consequence, people die.

Hypocrites. Hypocrites everywhere. If you wanna analyze that for an essay, I think there’s plenty to talk about. 

The Theme Worth Giving a Shit About (Because it Drives the Narrative)

Heroes risk their lives on the battlefield in exchange for Prizes

Ie. riches, bitches, and clout

Honor <--> Shame is how they judge the value of others and themselves. Honor wins Prizes, Shame loses Prizes

3 Characters Worth Giving a Shit About (Because They Explore the Aforementioned Theme)

Achilles: Main character. Rage is his thing. Also, pouting. 

His honor is insulted by Agamemnon(Boo) taking away Briseis, his lady war prize. Since war prizes are how their society rewards heroes for risking their lives, Agamemnon is basically saying he doesn’t care of Achilles dies or not.

And that hurts Achilles’ feelings because he knows he’s gonna die. There’s a prophecy about it. 

The only reason he’s fighting is because society conditioned him to believe that Prizes and eternal glory were worth dying for.

Now that he doubts everything he knows, he refuses to fight for the Greeks.

The entire poem is the consequences of his Rage-quit

Agamemnon: fuck this guy

He loses his lady war prize, so he takes Achilles’. Because short-sighted spite is the best motivator.

He and Achilles start the poem in the same place, believing that material goods should equally compensate a loss. Achilles is the one who learns that that’s not how that works.

Agamemnon starts as a dick and ends as a dick. Google Iphigenia if you want to learn more. And that shit he pulls with Cassandra? Major dickbag. Fuck this guy. 

Hector: The Trojan hero, and honestly the only likable guy here. 

He is Achilles’ foil. 

Just like Achilles, he’s separated from society - but, unlike Achilles, it’s not because he rejects their values. It’s because he never questions them.

He’s basically the perfect hero, and he suffers for it:

His son is scared of his war helmet

He can’t stay closer to home to fight defensively because that’s ‘shameful’

And he can’t even stay in the city that long on his breaks because wine and women are too tempting. 

Side Characters to Maybe Give a Fuck About

Patroclus: The most important of the supporting cast, and he’s only in it for, like, maybe a book

Achilles’ BFF and probably more

(Read: Definitely more. If you listen carefully, you can hear me chanting OTP OTP OTP every time you open your book.)

He is Achilles’ double

He never doubts society but supports his bestie’s midlife crisis anyway

His death at the hands of Hector symbolizes Achilles’ death because he was wearing Achilles’ armor at the time

Achilles causes Patroclus’ death btw

When he Rage-quits, he asks Zeus to help the Trojans (because short-sighted spite is the best motivator). Patroclus goes to help the Greeks wearing Achilles’ very recognizable armor, causing Hector to target and kill him

His death redirects Achilles’ Rage at the Trojans instead of the Greeks

Diomedes: a badass fighter

Greater Ajax: a badass fighter

and (I think) the guy who talks sense into Achilles at some point

Ajax the Lesser: a badass fighter (are you sensing a theme in these characters?)

Odysseus: the only smart guy here

The Odyssey is about him btw

The Trojan horse was his idea, according to the Aeneid (and maybe other places? But definitely the Aeneid.)

WTF is an Epic Poem Anyway?

Epic Poem: recounts events with far-reaching historical consequences, sums up the values and achievements of an entire culture, and documents the full variety of the war

Basically, if “’Murica, Fuck Yeah” sums up America, then the Iliad sums up Ancient Greece

(Actually, Hamilton is a better comparison, but I needed to make a joke. Fite me.)

That “full variety” thing is why Book 2 and a couple other places just list off a bunch of ships or leaders and their dads. That shit is boring. Skip it. 

But also, that ‘full variety’ thing is what makes other parts of the story so interesting. Homer will sum up a dude’s life story right before he kills them or some shit. It magnifies the scale of the narrative by showing how insignificant one person’s experience is - no one person can stop the war.

That’s what makes Achilles’ story even more powerful --> because his impact on the war is significant. His Rage controls the ebb and flow of it. 

He can’t stop the war though. No one can. 

The Gods are Petty as Fuck

Homeric gods look/act like humans, but they’re different mainly because of two things:

1. They can’t die.

That means they treat the events of the war less seriously than the mortals do.

2. The gods know about fate

To the modern reader, it seems like the humans have no agency, but that’s not really the case

Knowing fate is a bit like knowing the plot of a movie. It gives insight into a character’s actions that would otherwise seem random.

By reading this poem, you’re basically a god. Don’t let it go to your head. (But, hey, there’s a reason I’m majoring in this shit)

Bards like Homer would more directly be gods because they changed and adapted the story as they told it, just like the gods influence human actions in the story.

Don't quote me on that tho

Character choices are usually doubly motivated - by the human, and by the gods

Ex: Achilles chooses not to kill Agamemnon because Athena tells him not to.

This is personifying the literal thought process he had so that the reader understands what’s going through his head.

Fate doesn’t force anyone to act out of character --> fate is the consequence of their life choices

The gods not caring about death and his own lack of foresight is what Achilles messes up on

He asks Zeus to help him get revenge on the Greeks because he assumes Zeus cares about that sort of thing, but Zeus is bigger than that.

That leads Patroclus’ death, btw.

The “Enduring Heart” Shit

Achilles is really butthurt that Agamemnon wronged him

The lesson he has to learn is that even if material goods can’t make up for losses, there’s no other option --> you can’t bring people back from the dead, so you have to move on

That’s the Enduring Heart shit

also, if you abstract that concept it sounds kinda like entropy to me (Don’t quote me on that tho)

He learns that lesson by feeling pity for Priam (Hector’s dad) instead of perpetuating the Rage Train

And, hey, that Enduring Heart shit is a lesson that all of us could take to heart. None of us want to die, but it’s gonna happen. Maybe that’s not fair, but throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to change anything. Really, the only way to avoid being miserable is to embrace our mortality so we can appreciate life while we have it

don’t quote me on that tho

In a nutshell, Achilles has to accept his mortal-ness. Otherwise there’s a lot of unnecessary suffering. 

That’s why we don’t need to see him die in the Iliad even though everyone makes such a big deal about the prophecy about his death. His journey was completed as soon as he found pity in himself instead of Rage - essentially rejecting the godly side of himself (oh yeah, I forgot to mention. His mom is a goddess) and embracing his mortality. 

because gods don’t have to deal with death, they can Rage all they want, remember?

Also, if he never dies, he can’t be reunited with Patroclus. 

OTP OTP OTP

You could probably write an essay about how Achilles died as soon as Patroclus did.

Honestly Boring Historical Context (That might be interesting if you’re a nerd like me?

The poem was basically historical fantasy even when it was first written. There are gods and super strength and shit

Greek History Over-Simplified: The Mycanaean Period was prosperous but ended suddenly. The Dark Ages of Greece followed, and we don’t know much about what happened during that because they forgot the written word was a thin. 

The events of the poem probably take place during the Mycanaean Period because they use bronze weapons. 

But warfare is described from more of a Dark Ages perspective. Like, they don’t use chariots the right way

Which suggests that chariots were part of the source material, then the Dark Ages made people forget how they were supposed to be sued, so the bards just kinda made shit up to explain their presence. (Don’t quote me on that tho)

The Oral Tradition of the poem means that this story was told thousands of times over hundreds (thousands?) of years. So the narrative is hones at shit.

it has the sculpted body of an Olympic athlete. Each muscle toned to do a specific job and everything works perfectly together to accomplish the sporty feat of interest. Every verse is packed with character, setting, plot, and cultural significance

Except for that Catologue of Ships shit. Boooo boring ships.

There were probably lots of other versions of the poem, but Homer told it best. His version was written down as soon as the written word was (re)invented

Side Note that wasn’t in Lombardo’s Intro

The Iliad and Odyssey are both parts of a larger body of work known as the Epic Cycle 

(The Aeneid is basically Caesar Augustus-insert fanfiction at that, btw. Virgil was a satirical fanboy and I’m living for it.)

Characters and events are introduced with the assumptions that the reader already knows their importance

But we only have fragments of the rest of the Cycle today because it was either never written down or the manuscripts were lost

I’m looking at you, Burned Library of Alexandria

*sad fiddle music plays in the background

Videos That I Learned Shit From (Only, like, the first two links are relevant to the topic at hand, btw)

Basic Plot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faSrRHw6eZ8

More about the Epic Cycle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3bn0eKt4Rw 

Iphigenia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifFsKCrH3GM 

Oresteia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kpGhivh05k             

The Odyssey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-3rHQ70Pag&index=4&list=PLDb22nlVXGgfwG1qbOtNgu897E_ky_8To (Also, this story is my favorite of the Epic Cycle)

The Aeneid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRruBVFXjnY&list=PLDb22nlVXGgfwG1qbOtNgu897E_ky_8To&index=5  

Ancient Greek History: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzGVpkYiJ9w&index=2&list=PLDb22nlVXGgexsbafIwirG6Tk9uww9dSW    

And, yeah, these videos are all from the same channel. I’m a basic bitch and a ho for not leaving my comfort zone. Fite me. 

Honestly, if anyone has other sources, let me know. Youtube history/video essays are my shit.

I hope this was helpful.

[raphpanda21]

Hecate’s family counseling session 6 (part 1)

Walking into the room used for therapy Hecate freezes seeing one of her clients waiting. It was a bit off putting as normally she was stuck browsing her phone for anywhere from 5 to 10 min waiting for the attendees to arrive. Instead her youngest patient stood by what appeared to be a child sized full stocked bar cart.Hebe greeted her arrival with a smile so wide it was unnatural let alone unnerving.

Hebe: Good morning Ms. Hecate I wasn’t sure what your preferred beverage might be so I came a little early. I do hope you don’t mind.

Hecate moves into the room approaching the child and her set up with curiosity.

Hecate: Drink? It is not even 10 am so I think I will try and restrain myself. Do you always come prepared with a fully stocked bar?

Hebe nods her head slowly absently playing with the ice tongs in the ice bucket.

Hebe: Mother and Father really like the drinks I make. I always get a lot of praise from them and others.

Hecate felt sorry for the little girl. She was adorable if you liked kids but it appeared to be the majority of her self confidence was based around her beverage making skills. Not wanting to start the meeting of wrong she decides to concede a little.

Hecate: Really?! Well when you put it that way how can I miss an opportunity like this. My stomach was a little upset this morning though so I better stay away from the hard stuff. How about a ginger ale with two cherries. Can you manage that?

Hebe’s face lights up with a natural smile finally replacing the forced one that had greeted Hecate from the moment she had seen her.

Hebe: Of course be ready in a jiffy!

Hebe quickly fills up a pint glass with ice dropping in two cherries before digging out a can of ginger ale from beneath the cart and filling the glass. As the last finishing touch she takes out a tropical umbrella stabbing one of the floating cherries with it to keep it perched pleasingly in the glass.

Hecate took the glass from Hebe just as Zeus followed by Hera walk in. Taking a sip from her drink she watches silently as like an anintonic machine Hebe immediately sets to work making two drinks and upon completion carried them over to her parents. Both thanking her before taking a seat at opposite ends of the couch letting Hebe settle between them.

This was messed up that was the only word for it period. Shockingly though it seemed to be normal for all of them.

Hecate was torn. Sure she could break the kid down it wouldn’t be heard at all but she honestly didn’t want to. Hebe exhibited all the signs of a child developing coping mechanisms in order to handle trauma and stress. Breaking down Hebe’s parents on the other hand seemed like a great idea.

Opening up her bag she pulls out a large sketch pad, a package of markers , her cellphone and some headphones.

Hecate: Hebe I have a very important task for you that will be of great aid to our therapy today.

Hebe’s eye light up with eagerness

Hecate: I need you to sit over at that little table and draw a few pictures of your family for me. While you do that I am going to talk to your mommy and daddy so we will put these headphones on so you aren’t distracted while making your masterpieces. I’ll even let you pick what you want to listen to alright. Once you are done we can talk about your pictures alright?

Hebe: Alright I think I can do that! I will make sure Mother looks extra pretty too for sure!

Hebe hoped off the couch and followed Hecate over to the table letting her get everything set up. Hecate intentionally sat her with her back to them and volume up loud enough to block out the ass kicking she was about to deliver .

Turning back to Zeus and Hera her eyes glow with her rage and her voice comes out like a slowly building thunderclap

Hecate: Shame! Shame on the both of you! You have both let yourself become so self absorbed with your own lives and problems that your child has basically become your barkeep in order to garner some sort of affection and attention from you!

Zeus looks shocked at her tirade having stoped midway in raking a swig from his drink. Hera on the other hand at least has the decency to look ashamed.

Pointing to the both of them Hecate continues her tirade

Hecate: The two of you need to get your heads out of your asses and or other people’s asses and get your shit together. Figure out your damn marriage or end it cause if you think Hebe isn’t aware of your Titan level discord you are fooling yourself. The saddest part about this is I guarantee you the pictures she draws is going to be fucking adorable and so sweet my teeth will hurt because that is how she wants things to be! “

Zeus clears his throat shifting in his seat seemingly uncomfortable with all that has been laid at his feet

Zeus: What would you know about kids? Didn’t you take a vow of celibacy?

Hera glares at Zeus smacking his arm

Hera: Zeus for once in your life just listen and try to comprehend. If you won’t do it for me at least do it for Hebe.

Zeus who had been glaring at Hera for the arm smack and but at the pleading tone and her mention of Hebe his features soften

Zeus: Fine...but I stick by what I said. How is she supposed to help us with kids when she has never had any?

Hecate smiles having taken the time while they interacted to get out two more pads of paper and a pack of markers handing them all to Hera.

Hecate: I may not have birthed my own children but if you check my resume you will clearly see that Kourotrophos is included. Now then let’s set to work because I have a feeling Hebe will complete her task quickly. I want you to both right down what you like about the other and then what you know you need to work on personally. Understood?

They both nod each beginning to work on their own list as Hecate goes to the bar making herself something with a little more kick. One drink later and about 30 mins in actual time Hebe approaches.

Hebe: I finished Ms. Hecate.

She offers her finished product to Hecate who takes it patting her on the head.

Hecate: Marvelous, you get settled in there by your Mom and Dad and as I show them you can explain.

Once Hebe is settled Hecate holds up the first drawing. It was a scene of the three of them cuddled up on a couch a large bowl of popcorn in Hebe’s lap and everyone one was smiling.

Hecate: Tell me about this picture Hebe

Hebe: We are having a movie night together. We used to have movie nights every week and sometimes even game nights but not anymore. I miss it ...it was fun and we were so happy.

Hecate’s smiles nodding her head but her eyes are locked on the two parents clearly sending the message are you listening.

Moving to the next picture she holds it up

Hebe: This one is just of me and daddy. He is the best story teller. Sorry mommy but he does all sorts of voices it is amazing!

Hebe bites her lip twiddling her fingers as she looks down

Hebe: I guess daddy thinks I am to old for stories anymore.

Zeus sniffs slightly muttering something about damn allergies as he rubs at his eyes

Hecate tsks lightly but says nothing bringing out the last picture

Hebe’s smile doubles as she was quite proud of her work on the last one

Hebe: This is how I imagine mother and father when they get old. Old couples in love are the cutest! I know they won’t get super old looking like the mortals do but I did give them a few gray hairs and some of those smile lines Athena told me about.

[hrmssngr]

 character questionnaire // arjo

tw: drugs tw, kleptomania tw, fuckboy vibes tw 

[also still a wip and subject to changes im just impatient and wanna post this]

BASICS

full name: andres jose de leon // andres, spanish variant of andrew, meaning brave or manly; jose, spanish variant of joseph (biblical connotations), meaning may god bless or god shall add // he was named after two famous filipino heroes which... y’know. doesn’t get more patriotic than that

nicknames: arjo, aj, hermes

age: 29 (turning 30 this year)

pronouns: he/they

birthday/zodiac sign: june 1st 1988, wednesday / gemini

height: 5′10

tattoos/piercings: surprisingly... none just yet. he has thought about getting a full sleeve one, but he’s also wary of tarnishing his beautiful body. i mean... that golden skin with some ink? maybe. he has thought of getting one with apollo before but then, you know, you never do know if you’re gonna end up getting someone arrested so it’s probably best not to get a tattoo with anyone at this point.

FAVORITES

sound: the hustle and bustle of the city. hermes counts it as that very intimate act of pressing your ear on someone’s chest and hearing their heartbeat, and though he doesn’t buy into the whole overhyping of new york in the media, he loves living here nevertheless (he’d love living in any other city with this much people and just as many activities, tbh). the beauty of being in such a crowded city is that the whole “everybody knows everybody” cliche doesn’t stand true, there’s a new, fascinating stranger that hermes can connect with everyday, and he lives by having as many exciting adventures as he could possibly have with a life so limited. hermes also carries a childlike fascination with any form of transportation: boats, planes, but most especially trains - he loves the sounds that they make, with the railroads and the whistles, enough that it’s even the message tone on his phone.

color: gold and blues in all its shades, but especially the color of the sky, there’s just something comforting about it.

person: himself. straight up. it isn’t so much narcissism as it is a very strong sense of independence and isolation. as sociable and charismatic as he is, at the end of the day, his trust lies solely on what he is capable of and what he is willing to do in the name of self preservation. which, given what he has already done, is a lot. since his parents left, family is something that he doesn’t have in new york and other states - there are relatives, sure, but none familiar to  him - and what little semblance of that he does still have lies with the filipino community that he remains connected with. apollo is his best friend... or was... something about getting someone arrested tends to muddle relationships up, who knew? his favorite people would have to be the people who fall for his charms. it doesn’t help that he’s incredibly persuasive to anyone who doesn’t know him well enough to know that he’s that much of an ass at times.

memory: uh... i’ll get back to you on this one.

place: smack dab in the most crowded place in new york city - times square. or any place that has throngs of lively, chatty, exciting people, hermes almost thrives off of their energy, uses it to fuel his own, gets a high off of it. he’s not someone who particularly loves being by himself, although he is prone to doing it every now and then, especially in his apartment which is pretty much a bachelor pad. hermes does absolutely, irrevocably, deeply loves traveling, and if zeus and hera didn’t outright tell him that they needed him to stick around new york and do his job, hermes would just as likely be jetsetting off to god knows where, having adventures, soaking up the sun, seeing how far he can go with just the clothes off his back, his innocent face and his impish smile. he does favor sunny places more than cold ones, but he would definitely love to visit every country at least once.

vice: hermes genuinely love, love, loves fucking with people. he loves pushing them close to the edge, annoying them with his antics or simply flashing them with his shit eating grin, all the things that would alleviate his boredom which is the last thing that he wants to ever feel. even if it comes at the expense of himself or the people around him, making people laugh is an addiction that he can’t get enough of. even in the most serious of circumstances, hermes has the tendency to stick his foot in his mouth willingly and mess the whole interaction up. another vice of his is this... well, small tendency towards kleptomania. and i say small for the present, in the past, in his youth, he did run with some not-so-decent people and committed some petty larceny, but he’s... somewhat matured from that and only now steals the occasional small trinket or two, out of habit than any serious need to. if he hadn’t gotten into old olympus, into something with a steady-ish paycheck, then hermes likely would have been more susceptible to letting his habit get the best of him. he does offer this talent of his to the gang every now and then, if they need it, and his position as transportation means that he’s... unlocked a car that’s not his every now and then. perhaps if he wasn’t so unreliable, he would have a different position in the gang that suits this talent of his better, but for now, transpo is very much up his alley.

HAVE THEY EVER…

been in love: not really? maybe? possibly? it’s hard to tell since they tend to get into relationships fast and loose, with many notches on his bedpost. arjo loves being in the company of people and being the center of attention, but most of these relationships stem mainly from his enjoyment of getting away with it. when people say “you’re just in it for the chase”, it’s probably because they’ve met arjo before. he’s disingenuous at best and a straight up manipulator at his worse, though it has never stepped into the realm of being too much - if it stops being fun and starts being too much work, then he’ll give up and move on. so he likes to portray a different image of himself every now and then, so he shows people what they like and let them fall for that false version of himself, it’s harmless, it’s fun, all because he’s always made it clear that he’s not looking for anything serious.

done drugs: sure, why not? yolo, right? not the hard ones, mind you, he’s dabbled here and there, but it’s never gone into becoming an addiction or a regularity. if he’s at a party or if someone offers, who is he to say no? he’d never say this himself because it’s a fucking cliche and also the cheesiest goddamn thing, but he likes to get high on life!!! there are way better things to get your high from than drugs.

killed someone: no, it’s never come to that and he’s hoping it never does. becoming part of old olympus was... well, it was a reckless decision done simply because he honestly thought “well... what the heck” and his position as transportation reflects the fact that he isn’t really looking to do anything wildly unlawful. he likes to play with the lines of the law without entirely crossing or breaking them.

betrayed someone’s trust: hey apollo how’s it hangin buddy? the notion of trust for hermes is very........ complicated. on the one hand, i understand if not a lot of people trust him, he gives off this vibe of not taking anything seriously or not even having the capability to take anything seriously (he acts like an idiot and he is, in some regard, but he’s actually very, very cunning and the act itself is part of it), but at the end of the day... yeah, i would say, be careful around him. he doesn’t intentionally mean to betray people, he just doesn’t see the point in putting someone else before or above himself. is that selfish? maaaybe, but it’s not foolish and he’d rather selfish than be that.

had their heart broken: eh. he’ll have to have allowed his heart to form any serious attachment for it to be broken, and he’s never done that. he thinks he’s too smart for that, too smart to ever let the risks outweigh the facts, so if we’re counting successes by way of how many times he’s had his heart broken then hermes is a winner, definitely. but he’s never truly been with someone either, whatever relationships he has had before have always been with him having one foot out the door, perhaps even an entire half of his body out the door, and it gets lonely at times, sure, but if he doesn’t think about it then it’s not an issue.

lost someone: nope. hermes has lived his life relatively loss-free, and i think that does manifest itself in his personality and his devil-may-care viewing of life.

DO THEY…

have any pets: a cherry head red footed tortoise named torta, five years old. he isn��t nearly responsible enough to have a dog on his own, though he does love dogs and is kind of a dog himself. he’s thinking of getting a pet rabbit just so he can race torta and the rabbit against each other, or maybe even a pet snake just cause snakes are cool, but neither have come to fruition yet.

have a family they still talk to: hermes actually still pretty regularly chats with his family, but it’s never something that he instigates or pointedly makes time for in his schedule. it’s more a force of habit than anything that actually calls on him as a need, but he does recognize the efforts that his parents made to give him a good life, sometimes he just can’t help but wish that it had been better.

have a best friend: a-a... apo....... apollo.................?

want to get married and/or have kids: neither. the prospect of them having a child causes them to empty the entire contents of their stomach, it’s that dreadful. not that they have an aversion to children, but more often than not, if they have to spend more than fifteen minutes with a child, hermes ends up picking fights and being more childish than them. the playfulness that is inherent in hermes’ being makes them great with kids, but the responsibility? the hard work? the seriousness? it doesn’t exist.

want to leave: the going’s still good, so why ruin that? though there is no deep rooted loyalty in him to old olympus or to zeus, for that matter, and he may have made that pretty evident by the way that he pushed apollo to take the fall for him. being part of the gang is something that he just happened to get into, it’s not something that he’s passionate or serious about, and everyone knows that which is why he understands that progression isn’t something in store for him in this profession. not that he cares or wants to, but for now, as long as he’s having fun, he gets to walk the wild side of life, then yeah, he’ll play with the big boiiis.

THIS OR THAT?

phone call or text: text. for the emojis. but if it’s an option, he does do a fair amount of video calls because it saves from the tendency to misunderstanding and vagueness that other communication styles have. seeing someone’s face, hearing their response as soon as they come up with it, and then there’s the added bonus of the other person seeing his beautiful face, what’s not to like?

wealth or loyalty: loyalty to himself, wealth if it comes easily. considering what he’s done recently re: apollo and that whole fiasco, it is easy to assume that hermes functions under a zero sense of loyalty to anyone, but in truth, his loyalty just happens to be that much stronger to his whims, and sometimes that takes over his affection for other people. on some level, he does still carry loyalty for apollo, for anyone who is his friend and has done nothing wrong against him, it just so happens that he understands how hard it is to trust anyone nowadays and he likes playing around with people. for now, he stands in line with old olympus and zeus, but he is as easily swayable as a feather under a steady breeze, and just as liable to fly to the next offer if it fits his desires.

love or lust: there’s a big difference? caerus whom the fuc no, he knows that there is, but hermes likes to pretend that there isn’t. truthfully, he does have romantic notions now and then, but he’s always been successful in quelling them, just because he operates under this view that romance is weakness, romance makes someone boring and stale, romance is death to fun. he’s only in his late twenties, he has no desire to settle down... or at least that’s what he tells himself. inwardly, i do think that hermes is a one person kinda dude. has he had his fair share of flings? sure, and most people who know him chalk it off as this insatiable lust or his being some kind of casanova, but when i say he’s in it for the thrill of the chase, i mean that as just that. what comes after isn’t as interesting to him, sex is a game and if he has to, he can just as easily live without it.

5 friends or 100 acquaintances: 100 acquaintances. at least one of them is bound to be rich and willing to share their blessings with others, especially those with strong jaws and handsome features. and with 100 acquaintances, some of them are also bound to be fun and can keep up with his lifestyle, as opposed to five friends who are very liable to letting him down and disappointing him. in all honesty, hermes just isn’t someone that can hold down a handful of friends, both for lack of trying and interest. if people manage to stay in his company, that’s nothing to him but an added bonus. though he would love to have more genuine friends, he knows that he’s something of an acquired taste and not a lot of people do get him.

summer or winter: summer. tank tops, beach bod, ibiza, vodka, tijuana, tequila. the only thing fun about winter is that he gets to pelt people with snow then run away, knowing that they can’t chase after him because it’s cold and slippery.

OTHERS:

wanted plots/connections: shiiiiiit if i know but i would love if there were people that he’s maybe been with, people he’s friends with, people he’s fucked with and they maybe want revenge of his petty ass, something!!! i thought of maybe a flatmate but i’m not so sure, he does like his personal space, but then... it could be fun... idk i’ll think about it

pinterest board: khrysopos

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[ffxvhoe]

This is a bit of an oddball and really open but I was curious if you had any general headcannons for the gods? It's so cool that each of them have their own personalities attached (Ifrit's lazy almost cat-like lounging at first, Shiva's gentle wiseness, etc etc) and I'm interested in your take on them

So basically they’re one big dysfunctional family.

Also it seems I’ve fallen in love with each of them and now they’re all my children.

Titan

A HUFFLEPUFF

Is so, so gentle like it would melt your heart if you saw him on a typical day in the land of the Astrals

Tends to both a regular garden and a rock garden

His favorite plants are these silver petaled flowers that only grow in the world of the Astrals and hibiscus

Gets along with animals really well??  His particular favorite are cats

Takes pride in the fact that Leviathan actually considers him a friend of hers

He knew that the others were wrong to brand her as such a terrible person; they just needed to put in the effort to get to know her…though he does admit that her attitude could uh….use just a little bit of work

They’ll get there and he’ll help in whatever way he can

Basically just think Hunk from Voltron tbh

Suffers from being labeled as some scary monster by the mortals, and it didn’t help when everything happened at the Disc with Ardyn and Noct and the gang

Has been taken under Bahamut’s wing though Titan doesn’t rely on him as much these days as he had previously

Dislikes the world of the mortals, especially after having been there for so long

He’s particularly sensitive to negativity and there’s a lot of that in the mortal realm

Does enjoy the mortal realm for it’s flora and fauna though

Usually on the quieter side of the scale, but not an introvert

He enjoys going out with the others to go drinking and such

Plus he knows it makes it easier for Leviathan to relax when he’s with her since as she gets along with him the best

Ramuh

True Neutral

He’s something between the wise old man and everyone’s favorite grandpa idk it’s weird

Acted as Shiva’s mentor for a while

Is the oldest among the Astrals

Is actually from an older pantheon of gods (like how the Titans were the pantheon of gods that preceded the Olympians)

There’s a few reasons that he doesn’t act as leader though.  The first is that the idea of being a leader has never quite appealed to him.  He’d much rather be the one to speak words of wisdom and let the other young ones do the fighting and whatnot.  The second is that he has seen the potential Bahamut has and would much rather help the Draconian reach his full potential as leader

The real reason he wears that cape is because he thinks it makes him look cool

Is the only one that Leviathan will respect as being above herself and go to for guidance

Occasionally struck with the desire to no longer be an immortal 

Sometimes, when he’s look down at the mortals below he’s hit with how utterly tired he is of living for eternity

When he gets like this he wants nothing more than to become a spry old man and go backpacking through the lands of Eos

Walks with a limp

Actually, in a way you could almost say that he parallels Regis I think

Pitied Ardyn for what happened/became of him

Ifrit

Relating him to a Greek deity he’d be Ares

Not necessarily a Chad™ but his personality can border on being one of Chad’s friends

Ultimately though has a very strong moral compass, but he doesn’t really go about it in the best way

Honestly though do ya’ll remember Sky High? Because Ifrit is lowkey the guy that could use fire just more of an asshole

Will protect Shiva at all costs

She’s basically his little sister at this point, like he’s taken it upon himself to be something akin to her protector

Not that she needs one though lol

Will go out of his way to do exactly what Bahamut told him not to do

Bahamut: Ifrit no

Ifrit: Ifrit YES

Respects Leviathan immensely 

Griffyndor 

Enjoys getting pedicures and will legit smite anyone who tries to give him shit for it

Nobody else knows this as he’s very good at keeping his aloof mask on, but he is sometimes hurt by the fact that everyone pegs him as some evil deity just because he happens to have something of a temper and can control fire

Um…kinda think Zuko but then more of an asshole I guess

Doesn’t really like mortals

Shiva

Relating her to a Greek deity she’d probably be Persephone or Hestia

A gentle sort of quiet surrounds her

Think comfortable silence among friends, the quiet of the dawn when the world is just awaking, and hole-in-the-wall coffee shops that only have a few patrons within

Does not like Leviathan…there’s some bad blood there

Enjoys walking among the mortals on their small world

She thinks mortals are amazing creatures, constantly making new discoveries to curb their ever persistent curiosity

Can be found walking through some of the gardens in that immortal world of the Astrals with Bahamut

She makes him flower crowns

A walking library

She knows and remembers every little thing that has happened both in immortal history and mortal history

She’s one of those people that is super sweet and caring, but if you mess with them they’ll fuck you up

Is the only one that can successfully knock Bahamut on his ass

Everyone is lowkey terrified of her

Ifrit is like her big brother tbh that’s the type of relationship those two have

Enjoys bubble baths

She’s particularly fond of these bath bombs that the mortals have created

Leviathan

Relating her to a Greek deity they’d be Hera

With that being said, Leviathan is kind of a bitch 

I feel bad relating them to Hera bc Hera’s my boo but Hera can also be kind of a bitch so…

If someone is lucky enough to befriend her, however, they have someone who will have their back for the rest of eternity

Think Slytherin 

Leviathan is closest with Titan which most find odd due to the fact Titan is literally just…super sweet

*cough* Slytherpuff friendship *cough*

She appreciated the fact that Titan gave them the benefit of the doubt when the other Astrals told Titan that Leviathin was a terrible person

Doesn’t much care for mortals ((as we’ve all witnessed)) but won’t go out of their way to kill them

Was actually against the whole prophecy thing hence why they made it so difficult to form the covenant 

Argued it would be easier to either get rid of the problem themselves or simply wipe out the entire planet and start again

Also may have grown to have something of a soft spot for Luna and she didn’t want the prophecy to play out bc of the impact it would ultimately have on Luna’s happiness

Only one that can reign in Ifrit

Bahamut

The ever stoic warrior

He’s very quiet, very reserved, very calculating

Is closest to Shiva out of all the other Astrals as he prefers her company since she’s also on the quieter side and thus doesn’t try to force conversation with him 

As he’s the most powerful of the Astrals he pretty much works as their leader

Not really a King like Zeus was of the Pantheon, but more so in the way he keeps them in order and whatnot

Doesn’t get along with Ifrit but they work really well on the battlefield together??? Idk man it’s strange

Have you ever heard of the term introversion?  Because the word was pretty much created for this Astral

Doesn’t like going out to drink with the rest of the Six, much prefers staying in his home and reading or making battle strategies

A decent cook, not that Astrals need to eat or cook in the first place

If you can’t find Bahamut he’s likely flying

It’s a way for him to destress and he also just likes the freedom of it

[angel-gidget]

Stars Unearth Your Fires (ch2/?)

Title:  Stars Unearth Your Fires (Ch 2/?)

Fandom: DCU, Teen Titans, Red Robin (preboot)     

Rating:  PG  | Words: 1200 approx | a03 link    

Summary: Tim Drake never thought of himself as a troublemaker as far as Robins go. But a passing accusation quickly escalates into a case of stolen memories, technologically backwards clues from his past self, interdimensional hijinks, reflections on the good old days, and possibly the rekindling of a foregone romance. Eventually Tim/??? Mystery ship!

A/N: I ask that any fashion nerds reading this forgive me for my fake fashion week plot device. Lets just say the DCU has extra fashion weeks bc magic and leave it at that. Thanks again to @kiragecko for the beta!

"Wait, dude. Scrappy Doo hacked your diary?"

"It wasn't a diary, Kon. But, kinda."

"A lockable device on which you record your private thoughts you share with no one? Soundslikeadiary,man. Youshouldembraceit."

"I could repeat lectures verbatim from Diana about refusing to be shamed for traditionally feminine things that are actually emotionally reinforcing, but I think I'll spare you since you're not fooling anybody."

He could have come alone, but he had returned their texts on a whim, and when they had learned he was going to scavenge their old HQ at Happy Harbor... well, there was no stopping the remnant of Young Justice otherwise known as his best friends.

"It was more like a smartwatch jam packed with ridiculous hardware and old ipod levels of memory that I had filled with work reminders, but whatever."

Cassie and Bart had a point. But the truth was, the closest thing he really had to a diary was the dozens of hand-written letters he had written essentially screaming at his father. Letters he had tossed in the fire before he could be tempted to actually leave them where the (now dead, now lost) man could find them.

But some things remained too raw to share.

"Hey," Cassie was the first to touch her toe down on the threshold (Normally, Bart would beat her, but he had allowed himself to be a bit distracted, fully zipping around a couple laps to check out external changes).

Cassie started entering the old security codes without a hitch. She was not even thinking about it, and it gave Tim a tiny surprising warm fuzzy tingle in the chest, "Damian didn't use anything in it against you, did he? Trying to dig up crap on--"

Tim allowed himself a chuckle, "No. Assuming he did manage to read any of my entries, I would have paid money to watch him try to figure out what any of it meant."

"Oooh," Bart zipped back, and darned if he wasn’t talking faster and faster, allowing his own nostalgic excitement to kick in, "Did you write it in a code?"

"Sort of."

Kon was floating by the graffiti wall. It didn’t matter how many times they cleaned it, "Hanson Sucks" would always reappear as if by magic. Tim used to suspect Bart solely, but looking back, (and looking at Kon's face now) he suspected a little differently.  

The guy's grin has a bit of the ol' Kid when he glanced over his shoulder, "You didn't just write it in code, you wrote it in SLANG, didn't you. Yes, you did."

Tim snorted. But denied nothing. There was no point.

"Bet it was like 90% rap references."

"Ooh, don't underestimate Tim's eclectic-ness, Bart. There was no doubt a healthy dose of Enya lyrics entwined in there."

Bart's nose scrunched, "Enya? Seriously, Tim?"

"Hey," Cassie interjected, "I like Enya."

"You also like country music and boy bands dangerously similar to Hanson. It's okay, Cass. Weloveyouanyway."

The rules for Gotham and his team had always been different.  While clever hiding spaces had been a practically intellectual game in his home city, sometimes the trick to hiding something in YJ HQ was to just place it somewhere really dumb.

“The girl’s locker room, Rob? Really?”

“You never looked for any of my toys here, so clearly, it worked.”

The locker combination was Steph’s birthday. Something his teammates had no reason to know and something Batman and Nightwing might overlook. Or at least, they would have overlooked it back then. Maybe he should change it. Did it matter? Would he ever have cause to use this thing again? It was worth thinking about, but not something for just yet.

The lock released with an obnoxious clack and the door swung open with a creak. There were some things in his life that Tim kept meticulously clean, but no locker had ever been on the list. His crumpled extra Robin uniform tumbled out along with a collection of scratched CD’s, multi-sided dice, hand-drawn diagrams of team formations covered over by Bart’s doodling, and a cracked baseball bat.

At least his uniform had been through the wash before he stuffed it in there. Small favors from his former self. Tim carefully unrolled the Kevlar cape, tumbling his old wrist computer into his palm.

He would need to replace the battery. Specifically, remove the battery, and carefully charge it, then place it back into the device. He was not going to risk synching the thing—even to the old YJ mainframe—by plugging it into the computer directly. Maybe he was being paranoid. Hm. Not the worst thing to be.

“So…” Kon interrupted, “You gonna tell us what’s up?”

His first—heh—impulse was to be cryptic, but he swallowed it down. These were his friends.

“I was singled out by those Gatekeepers. I want to know why. When I checked the dates, I realized all of our computer records were compromised. I think… I think a more personal record might have escaped their notice.”

A moment of silence. He would have enjoyed the rarity of quiet in the old YJ cave of all things, but they were looking at him with a high-alert concern that was on the edge of tipping into horror.

“Woah. The bat-computers were compromised? Holy Hera, Tim.”

“DoyouthinkitwastheGatekeepers? You do. You totallythinkitwastheGatekeepers.”

Tim nodded, “Yeah. I do.”

“So what, man? You think they waved their triple-joined finger and just…?” Kon waved his own hand.

“Erased a week—maybe more—of events that happened while our reality was colliding with something outside of our own multiverse. And in a room with you, the Flashes, Booster Gold, and Guy Gardner; the person they expected to cause trouble was me.”

“And you can’t remember because they probably also erased our memories.” Cassie inferred.

Kon nodded until Tim’s earlier comment sank home, “Hey wait, whattaya mean ‘with me’?”

Bart giggled, “Oh, as if you don’t remember what you were like back then.”

Kon sighed as Bart and then Cassie joined in on ruffling his hair. They had to be fast. And reach up on their tip toes to do it. But Kon let them for a good half of a second.

“Ok. Point taken.”

The wait for the charger to hit green felt like an eternity. Plenty of time for the ambiance of the old cave to slip from nostalgia to haunting. Bart had opened up an entire closet of junk—chemicals, paint, mechanical insects—that he had apparently collected with Greta. Kon had dusted off Anita’s old masseuse table, only to find that no one was really in the mood to hop on it. Cassie found an old set of brass knuckles that belonged to Slo-bo, but quietly set them down when she noticed their discoloration was due to dried blood.

Nobody messed with the dusty arrows kept in hopeful little spaces. Nobody looked at the archer’s targets. At least, no one looked when others were looking.

Tim sighed and watched as Cassie floated around, fidgeting. He remembered how hard she had clung to the idea of Cissie returning to the hero life, terrified that her best friend would grow distant as a result. Tim had… been more optimistic. At the time.

He knew where their old friends were. He knew Greta Hayes was a freshman in college now. That they girl they had once called Secret had impressed the entire faculty of St. Elias with her ability to catch up and surpass academic basics. He knew that while she excelled in her math and science classes, she enjoyed the chaos and the friendships she found in her drama electives. He knew because her teachers kept good notes that were easy to hack.

He knew Anita took odd jobs to support the two tiny children that were her de-aged parents. She would put on her old Empress costume on occasion, when crime had the gaul to come to her doorstep, but lived quietly in Louisiana for the most part. Supergirl had been the last hero to come into contact with her, and told him all about it.

None of them had really had the chance to feel close to Ray, but Tim knew that didn’t make them special. Ray Terrill’s profile with the Justice League displayed a new team every year. He had run with reserve units, the JSA, Freedom Fighters, and more.

Then there was Cissie, Arrowette, the girl who took them by all by surprise once every few months as her face appeared on a cereal box, in an energy drink commercial, or on a motivational poster in a sporting goods store. Because nothing sold that stuff better than an Olympic archer who had looks as well as accuracy.

It wasn't a painful thing for Tim personally. Hell, there had been a time when he thought he was headed for a similar path, a time when he thought retirement for himself was a strong possibility, just a few years away. But he knew better now. And he knew that Bart always bought things with her name or her face on them, but didn't actually look at them. And that when Cassie heard her voice blaring from the TV, she would stare mournfully at an old number in her phone before putting it away unused. As much as they would wish otherwise, Cissie King-Jones had drifted away from them.

Not that Tim didn’t also fit the drifter profile to an extent. The thought hit him hard. He hadn’t been to the Tower in over a two months, but like a dog with a bone, the Titans had refused to let him stay out of touch. Even when Dick had the bright idea of sending Damian to the tower, to try to get him to interact with ‘younger’ heroes—because apparently Dick could’t be bothered to remember that he was sending an eleven year old to socialize with a crew that no longer possessed a member under the age of sixteen—his friends had reached out, insisting that Red Robin was the only Robin on their roster.

It was humbling, and it put a scratch in this throat and a watery heat behind his eyes that—

BEEP!

Charging complete.

Bart zipped toward the outlet, and hopped on his toes while waiting for Tim to unplug the device. He felt Conner and Cassie join in hovering behind him as he began to skim through the files. There was only one that matched what they were looking for, with its simple text repeated in the space-tab code.

R E M I N D E R S

Dig up 8th grade time capsule

Go 2 fashion show @ Hollywood Mall. Compare/Contrast costume

Be outside July 4th

Go 2 most romantic city on July 15th

“That’s it?” blurted Kon and Bart at once.

“Fashion show?” Cassie scratched her head.

Tim sighed, “I was watching out for key word triggers. I think.”

Bart frowned, “Like, if  you actually said anything close to what you meant, you were worried the Gatekeepers or whoever would notice and erase everything like they did with the Batcomputer?”

Tim nodded, “The ‘reminders’ are literally reminders. Straightforward intel would be too dangerous.”

“‘Cause God forbid your lil’ bitty bat-self actually tell your future self what was going on.” Kon huffed impatiently.

Cassie elbowed him in the ribs.

Kon hissed. “Sorry! Too dangerous. I get it.”

Cassie raised her brows and let it go. “So, what are you going to do?”

Tim shrugged, “Do what they tell me to and hope they help me remember, I guess.”

Bart looked up from his phone, “Better hope the ‘reminders’ don’t have to go in order, Tim.”

Tim winced, “Why?”

Cassie looked over Bart’s shoulder at his screen, “Because the only major summer fashion demonstration in California hits the runway in about 12 hours. Woah.”

Tim powered down the wrist tech. He didn’t like the idea of going out of order, but only two of the reminders had actual dates attached. At least he had opened the file right before July. Small favors.

“Fine. Mall first. Grab some food and rest and meet back with me in—“

“Only if you do,” Cassie’s eyes were narrowed.

“Yeah, man. No caffeinated all-nighters.”

“Kon and I will tuckyouinifwehaveto.”

Tim snorted, “Fine.

It messed with his plans, but if he was being honest, Cass was in town, and Steph had mentioned to Dick in the cave that she was done with her freshman comp essay. Red Robin wasn’t strictly necessary when Blackbat and Batgirl were around to help out.

He did his best to take it as the impromptu bit of fortune it was.

He didn’t let it hurt.