#But it's tumblr and I'm talking about my crazy project

[kangaracha]

wouldn't expect a lot of queenmaker until ~christmas time, which is not what i would like to say but my body is just telling me to ease up after november and i'm hitting that pre-holiday slump so we're just chillin. we're playing a game for the first time in six months. we're doing a puzzle. my eyes are really blurry rn so i think i'll go to bed.

[jenosjarofjam]

Now, you're stuck with me forever

Alpha jeno x Omega fem!reader

-Rivals/enemies to lovers

Requested ✔️ @no-romance-for-me-please

Word count: 2k+word.

Warning: smut,abo stuff, a lot I mean a lot of slick, squirting, knotting, cussing, biting/marking, mention of scent, nicknames(princess, good girl, etc...)

An note! This is like my first one shot and abo so hopefully this is not too bad🤞.(I took some prompts idea from Tumblr.)I didn't really dive deep into the rival/enemies part.

Playlist: collide-Justine Skye, Best lover-BiBi

You took the same class with Jeno, both of you were the top 10 students in the whole uni. You vividly remember the first year you met Jeno, Jeno always sat next to you, taunting you when he got higher grades. On the other hand, you studied extra hard because of it, surprisingly Jeno still got a higher grade than you. This went on for months, until the professor decided to pair both of you up for a huge project, now you have no choice but work with him. You guys started texting each other, deadline of the project was approaching, you agreed on letting Jeno into your place to help on the project, another led to another, now he crashes into your place whenever he wants

9:34 a.m

Jeno: Can I come over I’m bored……

Y/n : Since when did you started asking?

Jeno:I’m just trying to be nice rn, I’ll bring you food.

Y/n:awwwwwwwwww are you showing affection to me rn?

Jeno: I want to wrap my hands around your throat, and choke you until the life in your eyes die down.

Y/n: kinky ;)

Jeno: stfu, u freak

Jeno was sitting on the couch, finalising the project while you ate your food. The presence of him was distracting you , you seem to be confused about the reason… but hey no one’s complaining when there’s free food.

You noticed the sun peeking through the curtains, sun ray hitting Jeno’s face, highlighting his features. He’s skin glowed under the sun, his eyes shimmered hazel, his nose- “Hey! Are you even listening to me?Hello? Earth to Y/n?” A voice abrupted your thoughts, you realised you have been unconsciously starring at him, your face blushed in embarrassment about being caught. “Were you starring at me?” He cocked his eyebrow in disbelief, “no- no way why would I be starring at you! You’re.. ugly.” Well that was a lie….. “You’re avoiding eye contac with me? Why’s that?” He grins in enjoyment watching you suffer. “No. NO why would I do that.” “Maybe because you’re into me?” He said poking fun at you. “ wha-what no no no…” “well, you’re looking at me like you want to murder me but also like…you want me.” He smirked, seeing your widened eyes. "*cough* umm I'm gonna go uhh get some water." You said, as you quickly walked to the kitchen. You let out a sigh, feeling like you lost your breathe just the moment before. You felt... feverish, oddly... horny.

You went back talking with Jeno, it still doesn't help the fact that you're thinking about getting pounded by a particular person. The uncomfortable stickiness between your thighs was borderline painful, you tried to ease the pain by crossing your legs...it didn't work. You spaced out looking into Jeno's eyes. "Hey... You should take a rest, you seem tired today," "Yeah..um yeah sorry I'll uh go to my room and get some rest, call me when you need anything." You responded, feeling the awkward tension in the room rise up. Little did you know, your scent was flaring up like crazy, the mix of raspberry jam and cherry blossom was putting off Jeno, the sweet smell of slick was oozing out of your panties, making it awfully hard for Jeno to keep his instincts and not to fuck you senselessly. You scurried off to your room, feeling overwhelmed to the brim. You started researching about random heats, trying to find the reason the sudden neediness. You came across an article about spontaneous heats.

Spontaneous heats-Though rare, there is a phenomenon called Spontaneous Heat, which is when an Omega goes into heat outside of their cycle. The rare cases where it happens include meeting one's perfect match (at which point both heat and rut begin almost immediately)

No way Lee Jeno was destined to be your mate, but you can’t deny he is dreadfully hot, but you definitely didn’t stand a chance to be with him.

All these mix signals are just throwing you over the edge.In spite of that, all you should be worrying right now is about the fact that you’re craving the feeling of Jeno’s dick sliding in and out of you.

You had to find a way to relief the pain, ignoring the fact Jeno is probably outside your room playing video games, you slipped your hand under your panties, stimulating your clit. You bite down on your pillow, trying to muffle your moans.

Jeno was standing outside your room, the scent of a sweet aroma slipping through the door crack is driving him insane. The sound of muffled moans , made it obvious you were touching yourself. The thought of marking you, letting everyone know you’re his. The desire to breed you, filling up your pussy with his cum. How pretty you’ll look when he fucks you until you’re senseless . He feels his body burning, blood rushing to his cock, he couldn’t get you off his mind the entire day, he was just craving to fuck you all day long . Jeno couldn’t hold it anymore, he knew damn way he wanted you, all the pretending was driving him mad.

As you were approaching your high, you closed your eyes and focused on the climax. Yougot so lost in the pleasure, you didn’t even notice that someone was standing in front of your doorway.

"Always so needy for me, having fun without me huh?" You quickly cover yourself, your face burned up in embarrassment, you stared at Jeno and his very prominent erection, the size of his bulge was huge , the sheer thought of it already makes you mouth water, you wondered how it’ll feel in your hand,or even in your tight pussy. “What you looking at?” Jeno interrupts your line of thoughts, but it doesn’t make it better. He's low raspy voice sends chills down your spine. He slowly walks to your bed, kneeling down and staring into your doe-eyes, you quickly turned your head away from his stare, he quickly leans closer, closer to the point you feel his breathe against yours " I asked you y/n, what are you looking at?”. Jeno realises how stupid this is, and pulls away, before you pull him by the collar, his lips crashes into yours, the hunger you both crave for each other is finally getting satisfied, his hands naturally went around your waist as he pulls you closer, goosebumps swarming every part of your body. He pulls away "do you want me to stop?” he asked, trying to reassure you wanted this. You hurriedly answered, longing for more “just the opposite, please” He pushes you on to the bed, now you’re under him.

“Submit yourself,” he demanded, “jeno-” “What did you call me?” he abruptly shouted, making you jolt from the unexpected behaviour. “I’m sorry, al-alpha.” he slowly pulled down your flimsy shorts along with your pink panties, the cold hands made you squirm away from his touch. He quickly put his hands on your hips and pull you in, “Let me take care of you, let me make you feel good, let me make you mine,” he whispers into your ears before he forcefully lifts your head up, now you’re staring at him. He’s eyes filled with lust, the dark orbs felt like they were burning holes in yours. He takes off his shirt, his toned abs, arms bulging with veins, looks just like a wet dream in sight. He spreads your legs further apart, slotting his head between your legs. He started licking your hole, not letting a single drop of slick going to waste, before adding two fingers into your leaking hole, slick dripping to his chin, his nose bumping onto your clit adding the extra sensation, making you moan like crazy. “Fuck, you taste so sweet, taste like mine,”he mumbled, the sound of slurping echoes in your ear, your hand naturally find its way down to his head, you grip firmly on his hair, tugging it slightly letting him know your getting close to your climax. The high he brought you was like shockswaves crashing into you, you arch your back gripping harder onto his hair, you let a breathy gasp as you came all over his face.

“I’m not done with you, yet." His eyes darkened as you reached your hands towards him, freeing his cock out of his confinement, it spring out hitting his abdomen. It was huge, far from the ones you've taken before. He slowly lift your legs up, pushing the tip in you, the stretch was painfully good, you unconsciously clenched around him making him groan, your slick coating his dick making it easier for him to fit. He gave you time to adjust to his length then he slowly thrusted into you. “Fuck- take it like a good omega that you are.” The new feeling of adrenaline came rushing in, your eyes rolled back when he hit the spot that made you see stars. He lets out a low breathy grunt , your creamy velvety walls sucking him in deeper, the tight fit making you feel every inch of him, every single veins dragging in and out of your pussy. He started thrusting in a merciless rhythm, he grabbed your jaw and kissed you roughly, his tongue swirled against yours, the passionate kiss turned into a messy make-out session. His warm lips taking over you, pussy gushing over his dick. "Alpha, I'm close-" you choked out "please, fill me up please.", you feel like time slowed, each thrust felt so sensitive, so good, you feel your vision blurring, the knot in your stomach snapped, you let a long lewd moan as you cum on Jeno's dick. Jeno kept thrusting, ignoring your whines. "Hmm, too much?? Too much for my omega? You were begging for it, you were begging me to fill you up right?? Good girl's keep their promises baby." The sensitivity was too much, you feel your eyes tearing up, you kept clenching on his girth, forming a creamy white ring around the base of his cock.

Jeno used his strength and flip you around, his big hands holding onto your hips, “ass up princess.” You obeyed, feeling a sharp slap on your butt, he swify pushes back in with a one quick thrust. "Plea-se knot- in me al-pha, please, wanna be full of your pups." You pleaded, the thought of being by each other's side everyday, carrying his child, was the best fucking dream ever. "Fuck- You want me to knock you up- huh? Such a slut, such a slut for me. Fuck I'm cumming." He grunted. Jeno grabbed your hair pulling it aside, exposing your bare neck and collarbones, Jeno put his nose on your neck, inhaling your sweet aroma. "Can I mark you- princess, wanna make you mine-" He asked, waiting to get a permission to forever mark you his. "Mark me please, alpha mark me!" Jeno licked the side of your neck, and bit down on it, he licked the blood that was oozing out of the mark. You screamed in pain, but the idea of being his was enough for you to bare the pain. Jeno kept thrusting in you, you feel like your were about to pass out, a new feeling rushed in, not like your typical orgasm. Your now breathy moans echoed the room along with the slapping sound of the skin, you screamed in pleasure as you squirted all over his abs. "S-shit , that was so hot, I'm so close princess." He growled, liquid dripping down your thighs. His thrusts became more sloppy, the raspy low grunts was starting to become smoky moans. You feel his dick twitched in you. He held you closer, gripping onto you harder. With a final push, his knot inflamed, hot white cum covering your walls, you whimpered from the knot's pain. The feeling was way too addictive that you can barely feel the pain now. Jeno lays on you for a few seconds, you can feel his warm breathe against your neck. It took a few seconds for him to recover from his orgasm, he finally broke the silence

"How are you feeling?" He asked genuinely, "Tired and confused...I thought you never liked me..." "Idiot, why would I not like you." "No shit Sherlock, you acted like you hated my guts." You argued

"Well now you're stuck with me forever."

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Why Writing Is So Lonely | Rin T.

Hello writers, and anyone else who uses Tumblr on a daily basis like me. (Although I’ve been inactive off and on.) It’s me, Rin, and I wanted to talk about something that I think a lot of us struggle with. Or at least anyone, and everyone who considers themselves writers.

The loneliness that can come with the writing life and being a writer. We spend so much of our time alone. It doesn’t matter if you're using your laptop or scribbling in notebooks. Or pacing around in your living room and muttering dialogue to yourself (which I'm completely guilty of.)

Writing is really a solitary passion, and it hasn't just recently been like that. I'm sure Jane Austen and Edgar Allen Poe dealt with similar feelings. And sometimes that isolation can take a real toll that many of us choose to ignore, both on our creativity, our passion, which I assume is writing in this case, and our mental health.

I’ve been writing for about 4 years now, mostly working on my own little passion projects that I plan on publishing and side hustles, not only for my writing project but also my blog (TheWrite AdviceForWriters). I’m currently knee-deep in 4 different novel drafts that I’m absolutely in love with. However, let me tell you. It can get Very lonely a lot of times. There are days when I feel like I’m the only person in the world who cares about these made-up characters and their fictional problems. The characters I create in my mind are so vivid that they seem like the only individuals who actually care about my passion. (They technically are, considering they are basically my passion.)

It’s so easy to start wondering whether anyone will ever want to read the stories I'm pouring my heart into. The self-doubt I get has been a big part of my writing journey, and sometimes it breaks my heart knowing that I may not please everyone who reads my stories. That I possibly could get the worst reviews out there on my book. If it's not perfect for society. For example, I have been reading and receiving news on Alex Aster and the amount of bad reviews she received for her LightLark novel, and she has had a few times where she’s stated she poured her heart into it. And it's not just Aster who deals with these as a published author; there are many others, and it sometimes scares me.

But you know what? I've come to realize that this loneliness is just part of the writer’s journey. And that it truly is going to be the process of every writer’s journey and career. It’s going to be one of the prominent challenges we have to face if we want to do this crazy, wonderful, painful thing we call writing. And I think it's important we talk about it, especially since I'm a blogger who owns a blog specifically for writers. The biggest reason I chose to create this blog was for this reason and the many other challenges of being a writer. 

I definitely will consider this blog post to be a discussion, and if anyone wants to reblog or reply to this blog post and start a conversation, please do so, just so we can support each other and figure out healthy ways to cope.

So, why is writing such a lonely pursit? Well, there are quite a few reasons, especially reasons for each individual writer; however, here are a few key reasons:

The Act Itself is Solitary.

At the end of the day, writing is something we have to do on our own. Sure, we can brainstorm with other writers and friends who write or get feedback from beta readers. Or even develop  and edit your manuscript with a professional book editor. But the actual act of putting words on the page is a solo endeavor. We’re the ones doing the typing, the (physical) writing, and the constant racking of our brains to find the perfect word or phrase to put down on paper or the blank page on a screen.

Even when we’re writing collaboratively, there’s still a certain level of isolation involved. I mean, after all, our individual writing process and creative visions have to align for the collaboration to work.

And let’s be real—aligning those things isn't always easy.

I’ve reached out to book editors, more so of developmental editors, which is an editor who guides the writer/author on the actual plot and outline of the novel itself. And they have mentioned the difficulties of needing to align with the creativity of the topic or novel. It isn't easy at all.

I know that for me, my most productive writing sessions happen when I'm alone. And I know for a fact I'm not alone on that.

Having no distractions when it's just me, my thoughts, and the blinking cursor on the screen with a Spotify playlist playing in the background. And while that can be deeply fulfilling and very productive, I will admit it can be incredibly lonely.

It's an Emotionally Draining Process.

Writing isn't just about stringing words together. It's about pouring our hearts and souls onto the page. Were digging into our deepest emotions, our biggest fear, our wildest dreams, our thoughts, our philosophy, I can go on. And that kind of vulnerability can be utterly exhausting.

When I'm in the process of drafting a new novel or the many current projects I'm working on. I often find myself emotionally drained at the end of the day. I've been living and breathing these characters, feeling their joys and pains as my own. describing the actions, words, and emotions these characters do and feel. And then after that, I have to close my laptop, put my pen and notebook away, and try to reenter the “real world"—a world that doesn’t always understand the weight I've been carrying. 

It can be so isolating, feeling like the only person who understands the emotional journey of your writing. Knowing what it feels like to create characters and their stories and emotions and personalities just as if they were real humans. Our non-writer friends and family members try their best to be supportive, but unless they experience it firsthand, they cannot fully grasp the depth of what we go through. I can tell when I explain my projects to others who aren't writers, it can sometimes feel like they don't care about what I'm saying to them. Or it can also feel like, my stories are just a synopsis for an underrated movie no one’s ever watched.

It's a Profession of Rejection

I think we all know, writing is a tough gig. It's a tough career and job. Even the most successful authors have had to face their fair share of rejection. The rejections can be received from agents, publishers, readers, or critics. (like I mentioned earlier), and that constant stream of “no’s” can really chip away at our confidence and sense of self-worth. And especially if you're an aspiring author and have not yet published your work. Knowing that rejection is a big part of the career of writing is frightening. Really.

I remember when one of my best friends, who is a writer, who is currently in the process of publishing her book, would send query after query only to receive endless rejections. She told me it felt like the entire world was telling her, “Your writing isn't good enough,” and that can be a pretty lonely and demoralizing place to be. It has made me anxious about getting to the querying phase, as I still haven't begun to query yet.

Even when we start to find some success, the fear of rejection never really goes away. Will readers love our next book as much as the last one? Will readers even like my debut novel? Will the critics tear it apart? I know when I first started writing my first novel project. I rewrote the first chapter. 13 times!! And that’s because of all the questions and doubts I had in mind. It’s enough to make any writer want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

And the thing is, as writers, we often don't have the same support system that people in other professions might have. We don't have coworkers to commiserate with or a boss to reassure us; it’s just us. Our doubts and the eerie silence of an empty inbox. For example, Ana Neu, one of my all-time favorite Author-Tuber's, has dealt with similar struggles. She’s mentioned several times how lonely she feels and how her family doesn't fully understand her love and passion for writing. And I completely agree with her. If you want to listen to more of her, please listen to her podcast and watch her videos on YouTube here.

So, now that I went over the key reasons as to why writing is so lonely, I didn't want to end this post on negativity, that’s why I wanted to list the main strategies that have helped me:

Build a Writer’s Community

One of the best ways to combat the isolation of writing is to surround yourself with other writers. That’s why I found social media to be a gift, not just for the other obvious reasons, but because we get to find writers around the world who enjoy the same things we like. Having that sense of community can be a game changer.

When I first started my Tumblr blog, TheWriteAdviceForWriters, I was really hoping to create that kind of supportive space for writers. I wanted to create a space where anyone who enjoys writing—not just fiction writers, but anyone who finds writing to be a passion of theirs—can share their dreams and struggles with. It's been amazing to connect with so many incredible people who just “get” the unique challenges we face. Being able to share our achievements and share our compassions. It's been vital for my own mental health as a writer, and I hope that it can also be vital for all of you.

And of course, the community is not about venting or seeking validation from others; its about providing feedback, encouragement, and just being able to make friends. Having that makes the lonely parts of the writing process and journey feel a little less lonely.

Prioritize Self-care

It's so easy to get caught up in the work and neglect our well-being. There have been multiple times where I wouldn't take a break from my writing sessions and simply not eat and drink. I wouldn't give myself time to process everything I wrote, and I immediately after would criticize it.

However, I find that self-care is the most important part of combating the isolation that comes with being a writer. For me, that looks like making sure I get enough sleep. You can't process, learn, and remember anything when you don't have enough sleep. During my personal self-care, when I do 45-to 1-hour writing sessions, I usually take a short nap after. Eating nourishing meals and snacks is important, as is making time for the hobbies and activities that bring me joy. I usually like reading books, spending quality time with my family members, and very feisty (and sometimes scary) cat.

3. Cultivate Gratitude

When loneliness starts to creep in, it can be really helpful to shift our mindset and focus on what we are grateful for; this can be really productive and rewarding. Being a writer is a gift; we get to spend our days doing what we love, bringing our creative visions to life and sharing them with people who love literature. Readers are such a big part of being a writer, and they're huge motivations to me.

So, if you can, just take a moment to appreciate the joys of writing. For example, if you have any writing quirks, I personally have to wear bracelets on both of my wrists in order to produce some type of creativity when I write. I'm not sure why it's just something I noticed. I also really love writing my manuscripts physically. I tend to do this when I'm suffering from writer's block, and for some reason my writing style is a lot better.

And don't forget the many other joys of writing, like drafting, and the excitement of sharing your work with others. Having a new idea come to mind that fits perfectly in your plot. Or even a reader or beta reader sharing a comment on your work and giving you encouragement.

Also, please celebrate your wins; it makes writing all too fun, and it's a great way to integrate writing into the real world.

End Note

I wanted to write this post because I know a lot of us deal with feeling lonely; I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time, and I wanted to share it with Tumblr. I feel like each and every one of you all feel the same way. And that’s why I created my Tumblr community; that's the reason I created this blog, and that's the reason I strive to build this into an entire brand.

I want to bring more awareness to writers, we are the people behind the stories, movies, and media that we consume today, and we barely get any credit for our work. I want to make a brand where others who never thought writing to be their passion could actually for once consider “Is writing for me?”

I feel like it's such an underrated yet overrated passion. Yet it's not acknowledged as much. 

I hope this post can make you understand that writing is 90% lonely and you are not crazy for thinking so. But, we can use the resources we have today, like social media, to change that and make writing better for the present and the future. 

Thank you all for reading. And please, if you are considering joining a community if you haven't already, please join The Write Right Society. We recently met 100 members, and the community is continuing to grow.

[mrs-pondwater19]

Heartbeat

Onceler x Shy Fem Reader SMUT

First of all, I'm so sorry, I am weak and have fallen for the Tumblr sexy man *but he do be kinda hot tho*. So being the weak, cringy little thing I am, I now feel entitled to write shameless smut of a non eco-terrorist because I can. Yeah so this takes place before his greed era when he is a sweet, little baby, but has some slight greed tendencies. Also this is kind of a little different from the movie events wise but not by much. The reader lives in the forest (mega cottagecore aesthetic) and is very shy and secluded, but somehow managed to become friends with the Onceler. And when the time came to meet his family, things got a little crazy. Minors this isn't for you, please walk away. Enjoy my dears, and I'm sorry again for the cringe, I'm so sorry.

*side note: I started this like four months ago and dropped it for a bit, but I didn't want to abandon this project so yeah, here you go*

WARNING: 18+, Minors DNI, extravert and introvert dynamic, flirting, friends to lovers, angst, dysfunctional family, arguments (not with Onceler), confrontation, reassurance, confession, porn with plot, Slight inexperience, breath play, neck kissing, bulge palming, fingering, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex (p in v), comfort, literally the most loving man, whimpering, admiration kink, creampie, cuddles.

You watched as raindrops pitter pattered against the cold glass window of your little cottage. The rain had started earlier in the day, about the time you got back from your venture to the neighboring town not far outside the forest. The day started off so nicely, the sun was bright and there's wasn't a cloud in that big blues sky. You were actually hoping to get some gardening in today, and maybe a walk around the forest foraging some flowers to decorate your home with, but the day seemed to have other plans. On your way home, dark gloomy clouds set in and the cold rain began to fall. Sighing heavily you stepped away from the window in your living room and made your way to the kitchen, changing your plans to baking a pie or two. Pulling out one of your cookbooks you flipped to a basic mixed berry pie recipe and gathered the ingredients to start. Humming lightly to yourself as you made the dough for the crust, you thought you might make a double batch for a friend that lived half way across the forest.

He called himself the Onceler, he had moved to the Truffula forest almost a year ago, although it seemed like he'd been there a lot longer than that all things considered. He came to the forest with a small wagon, his mule Melvin, and big aspirations of success for his invention that he called a Thneed.

The two of you didn't converse much when he first arrived, considering you weren't much of a people person. In fact you often made it a point to not interact with people if you could help it. Having to talk and interact with people made you incredibly nervous and uncomfortable at times, so you kept to yourself. You preferred to stay at home and keep up around the house, do your crafts, and tend to your garden. It was easier for you to avoid conversations and be alone to try and overcome your deathly shyness on your own. It was so bad at times you thought for sure someone would make fun of you or point out all things that were wrong with how shy you were, but you carried on as best you could. You found peace and comfort in being alone, but there were times you wish you had someone to talk to. Being unable to break out of the tough, shy exterior made it almost impossible to make friends, it didn't stop the Onceler though.

The first day he moved to the forest he approached you with the upmost of confidence and was quite friendly towards you. When he saw how reserved and shy you were he backed off a bit and respected your need for space as he took his time getting to know who you were, not wavering his confidence whatsoever.

And, slowly but surely, you opened up to him. He would stop by your cottage daily whenever he'd go to town, checking up on you making sure you were well, and you'd do the same for him. You'd often bring him baked goods or fresh produce from your garden as a thank you for his kindness.

The two of you would spend a decent amount of time together when he wasn't working on trying to sell his Thneeds. Often sharing tea and talking about life was probably one of your biggest past times with him. Things you had a passion for, town life, and your life experiences were the most discussed topic when you were together. His big plans of becoming a successful entrepreneur were always on the forefront of his mind, and he was ambitious to meet those goals he had set for himself. You had to admit it was commendable in some aspects, the amount of work he put into his Thneeds and his efforts to hopefully get his products noticed were really something. Although you didn't agree with how he went about getting the materials for his Thneeds. Cutting down and using the tuffs of the Truffula tree wasn't what you expected nor really wanted to happen. You mentioned to him a few times how it made you upset and even asked if he'd promise not to cut down anymore of the trees out of respect for the forest. To which he said he'd oblige, and from that point on he hadn't cut anymore down.

After some time passed the both of you became incredibly comfortable with one another, to the point where you both confided in each other for just about everything. Whether it was on walks to town, while you picked away at your garden, or nights when you'd stargaze with him. You told him about all the reasons why you were so reserved and why you wanted to be alone. About all the people who abandoned you in your past, the ones who were supposed to be there for you, and how they just drifted away. It was easier not getting attached to people so you wouldn't be let down when they couldn't be there anymore. So you closed yourself off and away from the world, creating a little bubble around yourself. But he never judged you for what you did to protect yourself from something like that happening again. And he'd find himself doing what he could to reassure that he wouldn't be like the others, that he'd always be there for you no matter what.

There were days when he'd let down his happy go lucky attitude and tell you some of the more depressing parts of himself and his past. Just as you did for him. How he was afraid he would never be successful, and that his mother was right about him. He never had the best relationship with his mother, older brothers, or anyone in his family. He was often looked at as the black sheep of the family and was constantly belittled and made fun of for his ideas and ambitions. His mother never truly had any faith in him that he'd make it, and the last thing she and his family did was laugh at him as he left the only home he ever knew. It never faltered him though, no matter how bleak things seemed, he never gave up hope that things would work out. Even if it seemed no one else was going to support him or his ideas. And that's when you assured him you'd be there to support him along the way, through thick and thin.

As you made the filling for the pie you smiled to yourself while humming a light tune. Thinking about how nice it was to have a friend like him and how sweet he was to you. He'd always compliment you whenever you two were together, saying how nice you looked or how amazing you were. He never had anything bad to say about you and was always kind and respectful. You never had anyone like that in your life prior to him, and it was a really nice change of pace for you. Which in turn made you like him, a lot. Probably more than friends should like each other, and he seemed to reciprocate it from what you could tell. The way you two acted with each other sometimes wasn't really how people who were 'just friend's" acted. You two would secretly exchange looks of admiration while the other wasn't looking, the lingering touches whenever you hugged one another, and how he looked so deeply into your eyes from time to time during your conversations. Just the way he made you feel was something you couldn't explain and it was exciting, but scary all the same. Shaking off that bubbling feeling, you focused on finishing the filling and assembled the pie. You lightly covered the pie with the top crust pinched the edge's together, and sliced a decorative pattern in the dough before putting the pie in the oven.

...

You walked down a beaten path to the Onceler's home, umbrella in hand and a basket with the pie as well as some homemade jam. The rain lightly and rhythmically fell around you, making you a bit sleepy as you walked on. The little puddles that formed at the edges of the trail reflected your form, you looked down to see joyful eyes and a red face staring back at you. Turning your gaze back up to the path trying to ignore the sight of yourself. It wasn't long before the Onceler's home came into view and your heart began to beat faster and faster as you approached the door. A light fog from the rain surrounded the vicinity, giving the disproportionate structure almost and eery effect. You quietly walked up the steps as you heard the tune of a soft, solemn guitar playing with a slight hint of jazz. This was a tune you heard more than once, it usually meant that day trying to sell his Thneeds went especially bad. Preparing yourself for him to be in bad mood, you gently knocked on his door,

"Who is it," he asked very clearly irritated. You cleared your throat as you spoke up,

"It's me."

"The doors open," he said, his voice softening a little knowing it was you coming to see him. You closed your umbrella and opened the door quietly so you wouldn't interrupt his playing. You stepped into his home, softly closed the door behind you and set your umbrella aside before making your way into the kitchen. His home was a bit small and cramped, but you didn't mind it too much, it was manageable. You looked over to the Onceler, he was slouched in one of his kitchen chairs, feet propped up on a chair across from him as he strummed the chords. His eyes flickered up to yours for moment and shot you a sweet but defeated smile before looking back down at the strings. You sat the basket down on the side counter before cautiously approaching the table,

"May I," you gestured towards the empty chair next to him. Not looking up from his guitar he hummed lightly in approval. You pulled the chair out and sat down next to him, your hands resting on the edge of the wooden table. The two of you sat there for a minute, listening to the chords he strummed.

"Rough day?" He stopped playing for a moment at your question,

"Yeah you could say that," he said bitterly before strumming again. You let another minute pass before asking him softly,

"You wanna talk about it?" You asked kindly looking up at him. He stopped once again and set the guitar aside, crossing his arms while looking away from you. He took a deep breath, as if he was trying to keep himself from screaming at you in frustration. A few moments passed before he spoke in a strained manner,

"It just keeps getting harder and harder Y/N. Everyday I'm out there, rain, sun or snow, and no one listens to me. No one wants to hear what I have to say about my Thneeds. You and I both know it's a great product, and how it can improve everyone's lives, change the world. But they don't care. And it just feels like I'm wasting my time at this point," he said giving a heavy sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He continued pouring his heart out to you, saying how his family was right about him and how it felt pointless to continue trying to achieve his goal. He just wanted to see some resolve from his efforts, and to be able to prove his family wrong. You reached over to him and laid your hand on his shoulder,

"Hey, listen hun. I know I don't exactly what it's like doing what you do. Being out there trying to be somebody and bring something good to this world. And you knew it wasn't going to be easy Once, but that didn't stop you. You knew there were going to be days that seem harder than others, but you still kept going. I know the day is coming where someone is gonna say how amazing your Thneed is and your life is gonna go in an great direction, I just know it. Today was a bad day, but just think about what tomorrow could bring Once, it could be the day you become successful. Just think about it, ok sweetheart," you said taking your hand off his shoulder. He turned to you with a soft smile on his face as he removed his legs from the chair adjacent from him and hastily stood up from his. He took a few step towards you and leaned down, giving you a tight, compassionate hug.

"You're right, I just need to be more patient and try to stay positive. Thank you Y/N. You always know what to say, and how to make me feel alright again. I couldn't ask for a better friend," he said. You wrapped you arms loosely around him and smiled,

"Of course Once, I'll always be here for you." He let go of you and pulled you up from your chair as he walked over to the side counter where the basket was.

"What kind of goodies did you bring me today," he asked excitedly as he peeked into the basket.

"Mixed berry pie and some jam," you said cheerfully. The Onceler reached up into a cupboard and he pulled out two plates as well as some utensils for the both of you while you put the kettle on. He cut you both decent sized pieces of pie and drizzled a little bit of jam on top of each slice with a little sliver spoon. When the kettle roared out a sheer whistle you took it off the stove and poured it onto two empty mugs with a green tea bag in each. He handed you your plate and you made your way back to the table where you sat down and conversed over pie and tea for the remainder of that rainy afternoon.

...

Weeks past since your last visit with the Onceler, but your advice seemed to have worked well. He was still going out to town and trying to get his Thneeds to sell. Each and every day he was out there, and when he wasn't in town he was at home tending to his property. He would still drop in to check on you to make sure you were doing alright, as he always did. But it seemed like there was hardly any time to visit during those few weeks. Just both of you trying to keep up with your individual lives seemed to be more of a priority. You had to get your garden tilled and seeds as well as seedlings planted for the harvest in the fall. And he was more gungho than ever to start his business.

The sun was shining and the heat was hot as you dug holes for your beet seedlings. You tilled up the dirt multiple times a few days ago and plotted out where everything was going. You kneeled down into the freshly pulled up earth and began planting your seedlings. Getting a few rows in when you heard a noise coming from across the hill that broke you out of your rhythm. You wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your gloved hand as you looked up into the distance. You saw the Onceler running swiftly, and very clumsily towards you with a massive grin on his face. You stood up and smiled as you waved to him as he approached you, he waved back very haphazardly as he continued towards you at full speed, shouting incoherently. Thinking he'd slow down before getting to you, you stood in your spot awaiting him, but that wasn't the case. Before you could process what was fully happening he was running onto your garden, took you into his arms and spun you around joyously,

"I did it Y/N. I really really did it," he cried out to you as he set you back on to the soft dirt, not letting go of you.

"What did you do, Once," you asked, a bit taken back by his sudden actions. His tight grip loosened as he looked you in the eyes, his bright blue eyes beaming,

"My Thneeds, I finally sold my Thneeds. Everyone loves them, and they want me to make more of them. You were right Y/N, all I had to do was stay positive and persistent. And it all paid off," the man was practically squealing at how happy and proud he was with himself as he hugged you tightly again,

"Thank you, thank you, thank you Y/N, I couldn't have don't it without you." You hugged him back and smiled,

"Of course Once, I'm so happy for you," you said to him happily. You really meant it when you said that to him, after all of the hardships he endured and the time he put into his craft, he finally got the resolve he wanted.

He kept you in his embrace for a few more moments before letting go of you and taking a few steps back. He took in the sight of you, his eyes going wide for a split second then softening again. Your knees dirtied from the soil of the garden, a loose short sleeved t-shirt hung loosely from your shoulders, and the slightest remnants of sweat from the heat laid across your skin. Your hair put up very messily, and bits of your clothes and skin covered in dirty hand prints as well as smears from your gloves, forgetting they were on your delicate hands.

You chuckled nervously and tucked a few stray strands of hair behind your ear as he stared at you admiringly. This wasn't uncommon for him to do every now and then, he'd just look at you with a silly little smile and loving eyes. You didn't mind it though, it made you feel special. He snapped back to reality after a moment, a dusting of pink creeping upon his face,

"Oh, well, I think this calls for a celebration don't you think? When you're finished with your garden you're more than welcome to come by my place if you'd like. We can have some supper and a drink or two," he said not looking you in the eye, his face growing a darker shade of pink. Nodding in response with a soft smile,

"I'd really like that Onceler, " you said quietly looking at him with a genuine smile. He returned the smile and gave you a quick hug,

"Alrighty I'll see you in a bit" he said before making his way home, practically bolting to get started on some more Thneeds. You chuckled slightly to yourself, finding his persistence and interest in this endeavor so sweet. You smiled to yourself once more before resuming your previous activities, settling into the soft soil and planting your seedlings.

After you finished with your garden, you went into your cottage to wash up before going to the Onceler's home. As you walked to the sink, you heard a harsh crashing coming from the forest and some of the animals screeching in fear. You ran outside to see a set of freshly dug up tire tracks not far from your home headed to the Oncelers. You rushed down the path to his home, an unsettling feeling forming in the pit of your stomach as you saw his home come into view. You saw a run down camper van parked haphazardly in front of his home and there were a fair amount of people crowded out in the front. You saw Onceler talking with them, a pained smile on his face as you approached him. When he saw you he smiled and approaching you,

"Hey," he said hugging you tightly before letting go. You looked at him, to the few people gathered in front of his house, then back at him confused.

"Uh hey," you said quietly, looking at the people behind him with an unsure expression. He looked at you confused for a moment before realizing what you were doing. He guided you over to the group of people, you hesitated, but did your best to hide it as he introduced you to them.

"This is Y/N, she's my neighbor and a dear friend of mine," he said kindly as he placed a hand in your shoulder. You gave them a curt wave and a half smile. Although they didn't seem impressed with you whatsoever. The women with glasses have a you a condescending sneer while speaking,

"I see, is she always covered in dirt or is that just today's attire?" They all snickered at her remark. You didn't realize you were still in your work clothes when your rushed there. A blush crept on to your face as you looked down in embarrassment. The Onceler caught on to your embarrassed state quickly rebutted,

"Y/N has been tending to get garden recently and I invited her up here after she finished. She just didn't have time to change is all. But anyways Y/N, this is my family," he said with false confidence. He gestured to the woman with glasses and poofy blonde hair,

"This is my mother, Isabella." She gave you the fakest smile you'd ever seen, clearly unimpressed with what she saw in you. He then gestured to the taller more robust woman in purple and the short man in the suit,

"Aunt Grizelda and Uncle Ubb," both of them seemed more or less indifferent towards you. And the finally to the two twins, who were both going you devilish grins,

"And my brothers Brett and Chett." You moved slightly closer to the Onceler, feeling a bit uncomfortable in your current situation with these people he called family. He told you about how they treated him, so you weren't exactly thrilled to be in their presence. Wondering why they decided to reappear in the Oncelers life you asked,

"What brings you all the way out here?"

Isabella seemed to be a bit taken back and slightly offended by the question. Snidely responding with,

"We came to see our little Oncie, after hearing about his success with his invention we thought we owed him a little visit." You 'hmmed' at her response, knowing that was only half true. She walked up to you and the Onceler, completely ignoring you when she said,

"Oncie dear, it's been so long since we've seen each other. We'd all love to stay for a while and catch up with you. Maybe talk a little bit about your amazing invention," she said pulling him away from you. He looked back towards you as she rambled, seeing the disappointment in your face as you turned to go back home. He loosened away from his mother's grip as he reassured her he'd be back,

"Hey hey," he said softly as he caught up with you. He stood in front of you, placing his hands on your shoulders gently, trying to get you to look at him. You looked up at him, giving him a falsified smile,

"It's ok Once, they're your family. Go spend some time with them. We'll have that celebratory drink some other time." He looked at you with a somber expression,

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah Once, I'm sure," you said as you took his hands off your shoulders gently and gave them a slight pat. You nodded before giving you a quick hug,

"Soon, I promise." He let go of you and headed back towards his home, waving you goodbye. You waved back, not realizing how drastically everything was about to changes between you two.

...

A month or so passed, and his family's camper van still nestled in it's spot from when it first arrived. From what you could tell the Onceler had turned it and his home into a shop for making as well as distributing Thneeds. Not that it was the main issue in the forefront of your mind, no, it was something else entirely.

The few times you went to visit, his mother was always interjecting herself into your conversations and taking control as quickly as she could. Often making the excuse that her Oncie was incredibly busy, or that he had other things to attend to that were more important. Frankly you were getting just about fed up with her always keeping the Onceler away, forcing him to make more Thneeds, and making you feel inadequate comparatively to her and his family. How you're shyness was a weakness and that you'd need to grow a backbone if you were ever going to make it in the world. And how your lifestyle wasn't as preferable to high class living like theirs, if you'd call it that. Knit picking the little things about you she didn't like, how you dressed, the way you styled your hair, how you carried yourself and what you took interest in. Which in turn made you keep some distance between you and the Onceler, or more than you would've cared for anyways. You just felt that his mother had complete control over the entire situation.

Nothing about you was appealing to her. She thought that since the Onceler had became as successful as he was, he deserved better. Even though before his success she didn't care what happened to him, he was just a disappointment to their family.

It was to the point where you didn't know if you could keep it together. To not scream at her for the way she was acting, but you needed to stay calm and collected for the Onceler, it wouldn't be fair to him if you lost it on his insufferable mother.

You took a deep breath as you finished getting ready to go have those celebratory drinks with the Onceler. He was able to get away from his work and his family and invite to his place for supper and drinks to which you happily agreed. You put on a cute floral dress the hugged your form in all the right places, but left enough to the imagination for someones wandering eyes. You finished with some light makeup, a spritz of honey like perfume, and grabbed your basket with some freshly picked berries and wine.

The walk was short and sweet as you tried keep your thoughts focused on what you were looking forward to that evening. Just a nice, calm, quiet dinner and a couple drinks with your friend. That's what you were hoping for anyways if you were lucky. You walked up the steps, your heart beating rapidly as you approached the door and knocked lightly, hoping not to catch his families attention. The door opened almost as quickly as you knocked, the Onceler in the other side, looking a bit disheveled as he motioned you inside. You stepped inside hastily as he closed the door behind him. You looked to the table, two platefuls of pancakes topped off with butter, two empty glasses waiting to filled with the wine you brought, and a candelabra centerpiece. You smiled as you set the berries and wine on the table before turning to him,

"You did a good job Once," she said as she walked over to give him a hug. He smiled back, he looked tiredly at her as he hugged her back lightly.

"Thank you," he let go and pulled out the chair for her. She sat down and he pushed her in closer to the table and sat adjacent from her, looking at her with admiration in his eyes,

"You look lovely," he said quietly as he popped open the wine you brought and poured both your glasses half full.

"Thank you Once,"you said as you took your glass in hand, looking down and lightly swishing at the rosy pink liquid. You looked up at him and rose your glass to him,

"To you and your Thneeds Once." He clinked his glass gently against yours, drinking down the sweet burn. The two of you ate your super and caught back up, not that there's was anything new on your end of things, just tending to your garden. But it was a different situation for the Onceler. His business was absolutely booming, he was making and selling more Thneeds than he ever imagined. Money was flowing in abundantly and he loved it. Eveything that was happening to him was exactly what he wanted, its what he dreamed of when he first moved into the forest. But he wanted more,he wanted to bigger and bigger his productions, his distribution, and expand everything. You smiled forcefully, you were happy for him truly, but there was something about his plans that didn't sit right with you. It all felt wrong.

As you continued your conversation with him you heard the door slam open and his mother flamboyantly made her presence known. You groaned internally as she shouted,

"Oncie dear, Brett and Chett," she stopped mid sentence when she saw you, eyeing you down with an unimpressed grin.

"Oh goodness, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important," she said sarcastically as she walked over to the Onceler. You looked at him with a look he'd never seen before, bitterness.

"Well actually mother we were-" She refused to let him finish as she pulled his chair out and pulled him up trying to push him out the door,

"I'm sure it's not as important as talking about your business endeavors dearie. I'm sure you're little friend here doesn't mind, right?" She asked snidely raising her brows maliciously. You sighed in frustration as you stood up from the table and brushed your dress down,

"I guess not." You took a few steps away from the table and began to gather your things when she made the nastiest comment you'd ever heard her say about you,

"That's what I thought, you're a lot smarter than I figured you to be. Knowing that my Oncie has more important things to do than run around with a silly little girl. And if I may dearie, next time maybe wear something a little less revealing next time you come around here. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to seduce my precious Oncie." She snickered in a sour tone.

That statement did it in for you. You had it with that woman and her antics. After taking so much disrespect from her for almost a month, you couldn't stand it anymore.

You were done.

You and the Onceler had stared at her in disbelief, you turned your attention her and snapped,

"How dare you? How are you say something so awful and disrespectful to a woman you don't know? In your entire time of staying here all you've done is pick me apart, nothing about me is good enough for you," you paused. Her face dropped, apauled by your statement. She was about to speak, but your cut her off as you resumed your vent.

"But that's not even the worst of it, the fact that you've been keeping the Onceler under your thumb and away from the people who actually care about him is absolutely awful. You didn't give a shit about him until he became successful with his Thneeds, only then did you run running to his aid. While I have been here with him since day one, I've been the one who's had to comfort him when he had a bad day. I'm the one who told him not to give up and that his efforts would pay off. And I'm the one who's supported him through everything he's been through, and I'm not just talking about his business endeavors," you took a deep breath, feeling the anger truly bubbling over and spilling out infront of the Onceler and his mother before you took a dangerous leap and said,

"You are a bad mother Isabella. And frankly you should be ashamed of yourself." You said as you gathered your basket and stormed out the door. Leaving an astonished Onceler and his fuming mother behind.

...

The walk home that evening was a brutal one. Angrily stomping down the path and slamming the door behind you as soon as you got home. You washed your face and put on a comfy T-shirt and shorts, wanting to just spend the rest of the evening being as comfortable as possible. Letting the events sink in, you realized how terrible you must have looked in front of the Onceler while you ripped apart his mother. You sighed, trying to figure out how you were going to face him after all that happened earlier that evening.

Sitting in your chair you had a cup of chamomile tea in hand as you read peacefully, trying to clear your head before you head a gentle knock at your door. You got up and approached the door slowly, looking out the window see a familiar face.

"What are you doing here Once," you asked through the door. Not that you were bothered by his company, you just felt now probably wasn't the best time for a visit considering the circumstances.

"Can I come in?" He asked kindly. You opened the door with a tired sigh, motioning him inside and out of the darkness.

He sat at the small kitchen table as you brewed up a pot of tea, placing the mug in front of him as you sat adjacent, the soft light from a table side lamp was the only source illuminating the room. You both sat in silence for a little while, listening to the tick tock of the clock and sipped your tea respectively. You cleared your throat and broke the silence as you asked,

"Why are you here Onceler?" His expression dropped when he heard the usage of his full name. The only time you used it was when you were upset or serious, which meant this situation didn't look good in his eyes. He set his mug down and rested his elbows on the table as he looked at you,

"I want to apologize to you for this evening," he paused before he continued. You perked up when he apologized and listened intently as he continued,

"What happened at my home should never have happened. It should've just been you and me enjoying a meal and a celebratory drink, not my mother interrupting and insulting you as she did. And I'm so truly sorry I never noticed how awful she's been to you, if I had known sooner I would've intervened. But now that I know, I've taken care of the problem, I had a very stern talk with her and she wont be bothering you anymore, I promise Y/N," he said with heartfelt eyes. You looked at him a bit dumbfounded, not expecting to have this conversation after such a horrendous evening, but you weren't complaining in the slightest. You smiled at him as you sipped your tea,

"You don't know how much I appreciate that Once, but you didn't have to do that. I could've defended myself just fine." He cut in abruptly,

"No I wanted to, the way she spoke to you wasn't ok at all. And if I'm being honest I felt obligated to defend you," he said as he anxiously placef his hand behind his head, a dusting of pink littered his cheeks as he continued.

"What she said about you really irked me, calling you a silly little girl and how you dressed inappropriately, I couldn't stand it." You looked at him confused, not sure why he was so upset and angry over his mother's words. Sure what she said was terrible, but it shouldn't have been enough to get him as fired up as he was.

"It made you that upset?" You asked as you finished your tea and stood up to collect the mugs you used, putting them in the sink to wash later.

"Of course it did, you're my best friend Y/N and I care about you...a lot" he said as he stood and opened his arms to you. You approached him and hugged him softly, feeling his arms wrap around you tenderly. You smiled and your heart began to race,

"I'm so happy to have you Once. You always make everything so much better for me and I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it," you said as you tightened your arms around him. He brought his hand to your head and rested it there,

"I'm happy to have you Y/N. You make everything feel like a dream sometimes," he said softly as he pulled away and looked into your eyes. His face a deep crimson and his pupils wide and full as he looked at you, slowly leaning forward. You blushed as the space between you got smaller and smaller, making you're heart race as you placed your hands on his polyester vest,

"What are you doing Once?"

"I..I," he stammered as his eyes darted to the side, breaking contact with yours as he tried to find an explanation for his actions.

"Once?" Your voice was sweet and caring, and whatever else was in that tone of yours broke him down.

"There's something I should tell you," he started looking away in embarrassment before he continued once more.

"I've liked you for a really long time now, and I just never really knew how to tell you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship and make things awkward between us, so I just kept it to myself. But after tonight I realized how much you mean to me, and I don't wanna hide it anymore. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

You smiled as your face turned a bright red, now realizing that the man you had feelings for all this time felt the same way you did. Your hand wandered to his cheek and rested there, him leaning into your touch.

"I understand what you're saying very well Once," you grinned as you looked deeper into his icy blue orbs. Your heart raced against your breastplate harshly as his hand reached for your waist.

"You feel the same way?" He asked in a whisper. You nodded as you pulled him into a tight embrace. Feeling his hands cautiously wrap around your waist as he hugged back. Your hands lightly ran down his back, causing him to shiver involuntarily. You were about to pull back when he firmly held you in place, it wasn't aggressive, but enough to let you know he wanted you to stay there. His hot breath on your sensitive neck caused you to shiver slightly as you tried to steady your breathing. He took note of your body's reactions and he moved to face you,

"Is everything ok Y/N? You're shaking," he said in concern as he looked at you with a caring gaze. You nodded in response,

"I'm alright Once. Just," your face grew hot in embarrassment as you tired to find the right words to explain what was happening. You took a deep, jagged breath as you whispered,

"The way you were breathing against my neck, it felt nice." He gave you a devilish smile as he lowered his head back to your neck and let out a deep exhale. Your hands gripped at his back as you held in the need to moan, that was until he planted a soft kiss on your now ultra sensitive skin. You let out a low groan in response to his actions, feeling your self control dwindle as his kisses become more passionate against your neck. You gave out needy whimpers as you felt his nether regions begin to stiff against you thigh. Your hands roamed down as he began to playfully nip at your neck, causing you to moan out loudly.

"Once," you whimpered against his ear. He chuckled against your wet skin,

"So sensitive," he teased as he began to move his hands delicately up your shirt, testing the waters. Your hands moved down his back and maneuvered towards the front dangerously close to his now throbbing member, looking at him for permission. She nodded as he began to push the collar of your shirt down and kissed down your collarbone. Your hand gently brushed against his bulge, he shivered at your touch, groaning lustfully into your neck.

"Y/N," he gave a breathy grunt as your fingers skillfully ran along his shaft and rubbed his tip through his trousers. He was crumbling fast, as were you. Both stumbling over one another, your hand palming and rubbing vigorously as his kisses becoming more needy. You brought your hands up to his back as whispered in his ear,

"Let's take this to my room."

You didn't need to tell him twice, he practically carried you to your room and shut the door quietly behind him before approaching you slowly. He brought his hand to your face as he looked you in the eyes,

"I love you so much," he whispered as he brought his lips to your plush ones. Feeling his hands wander to your arms and gripped them gently as he lips moved down your jaw. You felt him pepper your jaw and neck in soft kisses before letting out a shuddered breath against your skin once more. You shook against him as his hands cautiously began to run up your shirt. You pulled away and lifted your arms, allowing him to take your shirt off, leaving your upper half bare for him. He pushed you lightly back on to the bed as he lips made contact with your collarbone. Causing you to shake and shiver under him as his hands pulled off your shorts and grasped at your thighs,

"Once," you moaned out softly as his lips traced the skin of your breast.

"Is this ok?" He let out a shaky whisper against the flushed skin. You nodded as you guided one of his hands that rested on your thighs to the heat between your legs. He looked up at you in surprise for a moment as you pressed his hand against your plush, slick folds. He let out a guttural moan from his throat as his expression of surprise turned to one of pure desire. He latched his lips on to your hardened buds, while his fingers gently pressed against your clit. You let out a squeal as he worked his fingers against your burning heat, placing a hand in his ebony locks to find some sort of grounding.

"I can hear your heartbeat Y/N," he said softly in between kisses and light nips at your skin. He began to trail his kisses down you stomach as his fingers gently pushed a long, slick covered digit into you. You shuddered at the fulfillment in your heat as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out of you. It was almost cruel and how slow he was going, arching your back and slightly bucking you hips against his hand trying to create juts a little more friction.

His lips now hovered right above your clit, giving an exasperated sigh before licking a fat stripe between your folds and attacking your clit eagerly as he added another digit into your sopping pussy. You let out an loud, pleasurable moan as he continued to work his fingers against your wet walks and his tounge sucking on your clit tenderly. Your hands wandered down into his hair once more, keeping him firmly between your legs. You let out desperate, pleading moans as he continued his slow pace,

"Once, faster please," you begged in gentle, breathy burst as you felt the coil in your course slowly building up. He hummed against your pussy as he kept his steady pace, his face and hand lightly covered in your slick. Your fingers gripped and pulled lightly as his locks, needing more friction as the coil continued to build. And though he wanted to drag it out, he knew better than to overly tease you.

The pace of his limber fingers slowly picked up and his tounge swiped swiftly across your small bundle of nerves. He added a third finger, stretching you gently as his fingers pace steadily grew faster and faster. You pleas and moans filled to room, as well as the sound of your squelching heat against the Oncelers fingers. His free hand spread your thigh as far as it could go, trying to reveal as much of yourself to tim as possible, seeing you in all your wet, messy glory. You arched your back as far as it could go and threw your head back onto the pillow as you felt yourself losing control. Unfiltered moans spilling out of your mouth as you pressed his face in between your legs as much as you could without hurting him, wanting him to finish what he started. He hummed against you clit as his pace began to become erratic, wanting to speed up too fast, but knowing that if he'd slow down you'd be very displeased.

Your legs began to shake as your orgasm approached,

"Once, I, fuck," you mewled out. Cumming on his fingers and in his mouth as he gave an approving grunt. He lapped up your fluids thoroughly before stepping back and off the bed, stripping down in front of you. You looked up and down his form in admiration, seeing his lean torso and slightly toned arms made your heart beat faster in anticipation. Your eyes wandered down to his clear bulge in his boxers as he pulled them down swiftly letting his cock spring free.

It was fair in length, decent girth, a few veins scattered along the shaft, and a tip leaking ungodly amounts of precum. You looked up at him, seeing his face a deep red and avoiding eye contact with you, looking slightly ashamed of himself.

"Hey," you spoke sweetly and softly to him as you watched him hesitantly walk to your side of the bed, but not crawling in it.

"What's the matter Once?" You asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at you with a shamed experience,

"It's just, I don't have much experience," he said as he rubbed to back of his neck. You gave him a remorseful smile and gestured him to come crawl in the bed next to you. He nodded as he made his way to you, his weight sinking into the mattress as he laid his head on your chest,

"It's ok Once, you don't have to feel ashamed for not having much experience. I'm here with you now because I want to be. And if it makes you feel better, I don't have much either, so we'll help each other along the way, ok?" You whispered to him and gave him a light kiss on his forehead head. He looked at you with the most loving look you'd ever seen in a man as his lips crashed on to yours passionately. He crawled on to of you cautiously as or not hurt you and spread your legs, feeling his patience depleting with each passing second. He pulled his lips away from yours and adjusted his throbbing member at your entrance, looking at you innocently for permission, you nodded your head with haste,

"Please Once," desire dripping off your tounge as he sheathed himself slowly inside of your wet folds. A loud, high pitched groan erupted from his throat once he was fully inside of you,

"Fuck," he cursed out in a breathy moan, his hands gripped your thighs tightly, trying to keep himself from being overly rough with you. You moaned out his name, letting your hands roam up his back and nails digging into his pale skin as he began to softly thrust his hips against yours. His thrusts were soft and gentle at first, his hands resting on your face as he looked into your eyes with need,

"You're so beautiful," he praised, placing a soft kiss in your forehead as his pace was slow and steady. He wanted to savor it, every movement, every expression you made, every sound, all of it. He never had any like this before in his life and never wanted to lose it.

You bucked your hips up slightly, wanting him to pick the pace as you moaned gently,

"Once, more, please," you begged slightly. He took note of your plea and thrusted faster and a bit more rough than before, causing you to let out a surprised yelp. He stopped for a moment and looked at you with worry,

"I'm not hurting you am I?" He asked in a breathy whisper. You shook your head as you pulled him in and against your chest,

"Not at all, I liked it," you whispered back. That was all he needed to hear from you. He nodded before he thrusted into you harshly, causing you to arch your back in pleasure. He chuckled to himself as he began to snap his hips against yours, thrusting his cock roughly in out of your dripping pussy. You let out desperate yelps and moans as he gripped your shoulders, your nails dragging against the skin of his back as he seemed to hit all the right spots.

"God you look so good like this, you're so beautiful Y/N," he moaned out, almost in a whimpering manner. You clenched around him in response as his gripped loosened on your shoulders and moved down to your hips. Gripping you tightly once again as his lips made contact with your neck, kissing and nipping gently as his moans began to turn into needy whimpers.

Your hands roam from his now scratched up back to his face, looking at him with loving eyes and taking in the sight of him above you. His face red, eyes completely drowned in lust and desire, and a light layer a of sweat across his brow. His grip became more harsh as he looked into your eyes,

"So, pretty," he stuttered as he pulled you up into a sitting position in his lap and he continued to thrust into you, slamming your hips down against his. The new angle allowed him to penetrate deeper into you, causing you to throw back your head in ecstacy, your release slowly approaching one again. Your moans and yelps became louder and more frequent as he thrusted up into you. He took note of how close you were and wrapped his arms around you, placing his hands on your back and gripping them gently,

"You close sweet girl," he cooed in a breathy whisper. You nodded as you squeezed you eyes shut and hugged him tightly. He kissed your head sweetly, his pace steady as you felt your release wash over you abruptly.

You gave him a long, pleasure filled moan as you squeezed your entire being around him, holding onto to him like your life depended on it. His pace slowly began to speed up and his moans and whimpers became more desperate,

"I love you so much, you're so perfect Y/N, fuck," he yelled against your neck, causing you to shiver in his arms. His soft grip on your back soon turned into his nails gently digging into your soft skin as his thrusts were harder than they'd been that night. He could feel he was close, his breath heavy, grip harsh and needy, as the sounds he made we absolutely unholy to say the least. You brought your lips to his ear as you let a out breathy moan,

"Please cum inside of me Once, please." That was enough for him. As soon as the words feel off your tounge, his body tensed up and shook as his cock twitched inside of you, letting himself fill you with his hot seed. He mewled out praises of you, how much he loved you and how good you were for him as he rode out his high.

You felt him soften inside of you before pulling yourself off of him, laying down next to him as he continued to catch his breath. He looked at you with soft eyes as he ran his slender fingers through your hair as he whispered,

"You have no idea how long I wanted to do that," eh chuckled as he kissed your cheek tenderly.

"Oh believe me, I know."

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

I have recorded different versions of my name, and the last time I was told it was Haynrix and I was like, really? Haynrix? - Interviewing Chris Tester part 3

We contiune talking about the transformative power of fanworks, a bit more about romancing Heinrix, how Heinrix is pronounced actually, what a dream come through project would be for Chris and why a stage production of Crime and Punishment was his most memorable work to date and his newly discovered interest in playing D&D.

Part 1 of the interview

Part 2 of the interview

This is the final part of the interview. Thank you so much for reading and listening! (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: It's very transformative. You take a game and you get your own stories after the game or with the people you interact with. It's very creative. Because Heinrix is very much an archetype, as you said, he has this duality about this very authoritative man with so much trauma underneath. There is a lot to explore, and that speaks for Olga's writing as well, because only a very well written character would draw you in like that into a story.

CT: I mean, it's a crazy balancing act, definitely. And at any time, it could close off, you shut him down, or he shuts you down. And you're like, Oh, okay.

F: And it was incredibly funny that the first romance lines straddled the line between workplace harassment and flirting. And he is so unnerved and then it doesn't like to cordon you off and say, well, you were too aggressive. Game over. 

CT: Yeah.

You can switch to this closeness path like in a real relationship, you are maybe very flirty, very teasy at the beginning, and then things get real and you get real and it changes. And that was very dynamic. I never experienced that before. BioWare writes great romances, but they are often very one note in their games.

CT: And there's still the kind of like, okay, so are we sleeping together? Yeah. Or we do not. All right. No, okay, great, fine. God, I had to go through all the different fucking options just to go like, Is this, is that, no, no, okay, fine, right, yeah. So in terms of nuance and dynamic, it's you've got your issues over there, but regardless, can I just say the right thing? Uh, or not, you know, or be pure, or whatever. Garrus was always a favourite for me.

F: Oh yeah, Garrus, Garrus is great.

CT: Yeah, yeah. I'll be honest I didn't really appreciate quite how subtly all of the pieces are put together until I played through bits of the game and watched bits of the game afterwards [this relates to Rogue Trader]. Because there are so many different moving parts, but also so much is recorded out of order, it's very difficult to get a full appreciation of the whole, and it's the credit of the directors to just be able to give you enough for you to get it in two or three takes, because we gotta move on because time is money is time. 

And so that's kind of crazy, where you've got to just act in faith in the moment and trust that the people who are listening on the other end feel as if they're getting what they need. Obviously the more you record, the more you get a sense of what the character is about and the palette and the playfulness and all of those kinds of things. But because there are such a multitude of choices anyway, no one can explain to you exactly the context of what it is because that's all such a movable feast as it is anyway.

F: That's a huge credit to voice actors to still get it right in three or four takes.

CT: Well, the aim is to give them options so that they can trial it out and be able to have a playfulness about things. It's always nice when you go like, I'm just going to try this different take on how this might traditionally be read as or something, and then you maybe hear that in the game and go like: Oh, okay, that's a little bit of whatever. 

Because quite often you'll probably be told to read a line no more than three times, and the first time that you read a line, that you read it out loud is the first time that you read the line at all. So, you don't read it in advance, and sometimes that goes in. It's normally the second or third take, I would say, but that depends very much on the voice actor. Because quite often, the whole point is to be quite good at sight reading, and sometimes there's a spontaneity in the reading of something for the very first time, which might give something a little bit unexpected, or a little bit fresher. 

And then you realise halfway through, there's a word I have no idea how to pronounce. Is it von Valancius? Von Valancius as it's written or von Valen and you're just like, the hell? Okay. And then you need to go back.

F: Or his name actually, because as a German, we have Heinrich as a first name. So is it Haynrix? Is this Hainrix? But we can say it's Low Gothic, so it doesn't matter.

CT: I have recorded different versions of my name, and the last time I was told it was Haynrix and I was like, really? Haynrix? Okay. Sure? But I've not had a definitive conversation about that, so I don’t know whether or not they change it or, or whatever.

F: I settled on, it's Low Gothic and not the German version and it's fine because that's a fantasy language. It doesn't matter. And I know from other voice actors that sometimes you don't get any directions on how something is pronounced.

CT: Quite often we're just taking an educated guess. I mean, they're very good in terms of some pronunciations, but if no other character is saying this word except you, then there's probably not a guide for it in which case you just make sure that you record it somewhere. So, it's consistent. So, if you're saying it more than once, at least you're saying it wrong consistently. So that becomes the new, right?

F: What was your most memorable work to date? Stage or voice acting?

CT: Stage or voice acting or whatever? God, I would say one was a production of Crime and Punishment. There you go. It was a three-person adaptation of the massive book really condensed into about 90 minutes, essentially. Quite a radical adaptation, but it was a beautifully written adaptation, and I think I did it probably about 2017, 2018. That was wonderful storytelling because it had so much of the original flavour in it and also this ambiguity of character. A much more ambiguous character than someone like Heinrix. Someone who is so eminently fallible and flawed, and yet trying to find a through line through it and a making of sense and the justification for the reasons why people do bad things. That is pretty iconic for me as an experience. 

I do feel lucky that a lot of the things that I'm able to explore in the video game or in the voiceover world generally are completely new and unexpected things. Whereas on stage, unless you're doing a lot of new writing, the vast majority of the time, it's a role that you're familiar with or have seen or have heard about. It's pre-existing. Whereas with some of these video games, you get to create that whole original world or character and that kind of stuff. Which is why if anybody asks me, what role do you want to play? I'm like, the role that I don't know exists yet, and Heinrix is very much one of those. Like, I had no idea and neither did I have any idea that it would develop in the way that it did. 

But the whole process itself is a lot of fun and you work with very cool people to tell a completely new and original story. But having that ambiguity, having that tension within the character, every actor has to find that for themselves anyway, just to keep creatively engaged and alive, but have that so vividly running as an undercurrent and for it to be able to go in different ways, that's such a cool kind of thing. I'm just so up for more of those kinds of opportunities. Maybe hopefully in the future, we'll see.

F: Has voicing Heinrix opened any doors? Did you notice an uptake in offers?

CT: I think it means that a few more people probably know who I am, and that's cool. A few more people. Yeah, it's definitely been referred to. Other than that, I don't know. But it certainly doesn't hurt being involved in such a high profile and well respected, well-loved game. I mean, for me as well, because I've done various different aspects of stuff in that world. That doesn't hurt. 

I love the whole Warhammer 40k universe, at the same time I don't want to just be like, I'm a 40k actor and that's all I do because that world also probably doesn't need just another white middle-class man in it, even if that is like 70 percent of the world. Like you say, they're trying to broaden it out and diversify it and necessarily if it wants to get to a bigger audience and have a healthier ecology on so many different kinds of levels. So, I don't want to go all in on just that, even if it's a very rich world. So, it was a real pleasure. 

F: Would you want to broaden your repertoire into radio plays, because I know on your LinkedIn, you write, you're the voice when Cumberbatch is busy and listening to you, there are undertones of Benedict Cumberbatch in your voice, and Benedict before he became really popular, he did something like Cabin Pressure, which is so fun.

CT: Yeah.

F: Would you be open to doing radio plays like that?

CT: Definitely. I've just recently come from a voiceover conference in the UK and did a couple of workshops and that reminded me of what the work is that I want to actively seek out. And there's a lot of audio drama stuff floating about, a lot of that is available via social media or is operated in the U.S. as opposed to in the UK., though there are some great ones in the UK. as well, and it's tricky to know why and how to validate some of those things. So, it's something that I would love to explore doing more of as well as, you know, you can do these audio drama things, which are kind of like shorter versions of audio books, almost essentially with not so many voices. And I think those medium and short form ways of storytelling would be lovely. It would be great because I'm not right for a lot of video games. 

I don't think I'll ever be actually a very prolific video game actor if that makes sense because I'm okay at shouting and I can play some monsters and I've got a couple of accents in the bag and that kind of thing in terms of doing voices. People will say it's about the acting Chris, it's not about voices, but doing some voices and being able to nail certain things there are people that are brilliant at that. But there are people who have probably a wider palette of voices than I will ever have. 

I never started out as a voice actor. I'm very much an actor who uses the voice, and I'm trying to broaden that out a little bit more as I keep on going. But I want to open myself up to more different types of stuff to be creatively fulfilled. The prospect of going into a recording session and screaming “grenade” and “bang” is not very fulfilling. I did that for a few games, and then I'm done with that. Like the money's not good enough for me to do that. I mean, never say never. If the money does become good enough, then we can talk. But you push your voice and it's a different kind of acting, I'll put it that way.

F: So, last question. What would be a dream come true project for you?

CT: A dream come true project? Probably something entirely original that I can't imagine. I would love to be able to work on an audio project where I'm working with other actors in real time. I would love to be able to work with most of the cast in Rogue Trader, for example, but I’d love it for us to be able to have dialogues where you're actually responding to each other as opposed to insert A, B or C here, that kind of thing. Because that's the one thing I kind of miss so much from the audio side of work is you getting something unexpected from the other person and then riffing off it. You have to self-generate as a voice actor that a director will go do you want to try it like this? Or maybe like this, it's supposed to be funny. Try it dead pan, that kind of thing.

But quite often that kind of spontaneous element of discovery only comes from when someone gives you a line in a way that you really didn't expect, and maybe it makes you laugh, when it's supposed to be tragic or whatever, those kinds of things. The biggest thing I miss about stage work is when you're working with an actor at the top of your game and they raise you up to their level. It's terrifying, but in the best way. Some actors can do that effortlessly because they're so in the moment, because they don't know what they're going to do next, even though they can find their light and make sure that the audience is still seeing their brilliant acting at the same time. Clever, clever bunnies. That feeling because they don't know exactly where they're going, you're kind alive to the moment in a way that quite often you're not, and if there was a way to be able to replicate that in an audio way and a long form storytelling way, then that would be cool. 

I've just started playing a little bit of D&D and I don't know if I'll ever get good at that, especially in terms of like, so I've got to come up with words. Oh my God. Whereas I will never watch a D&D playthrough for four hours on YouTube myself, personally, life choice, I can start to understand the appeal of that because there's an element of that spontaneity and playfulness, but in a group. So, if there was a way to do that with actually scripted drama, I'd be all in on that. That would be amazing. Or some kind of hybrid. So I don't know exactly what that is, but that kind of thing would be quite cool. 

F: That's what the BBC did with Cabin Pressure. I attended one live recording and it was just amazing. You have all the other actors [apart from Benedict Cumberbatch] that are household names. And to see them act and how little takes they actually need for the lines and everything is amazing.

CT: Yeah, there's an appreciation of the craft, but it's also the fact that it's not into a void. It's not like, okay, we've done three. Is that okay? We're onto the next. I think in many ways it can make the work much easier, because you're using your imagination, but in a different way, because you're operating with a stimulus. And that's always exciting.

F: And good D&D is just like improv theatre.

CT: Yeah, exactly.

F: Really good players are spontaneous. Just very creative.

CT: That should be celebrated and I think harnessing more of those kinds of things would be fun, because in all honesty, still probably about 60, 70 percent of the work that I do is in the corporate and business sphere. That's just because of how I sound. I didn't go out to court that work particularly, but in terms of the stuff that pays the bills regularly, that's the kind of stuff that I do. Even then, you're trying to find levels of playfulness or colour so that you're not just coming over with: “in a world where you can trust a big corporation to take your money.” So, there's any kind of nuance or subtlety to that, that will be a good thing. So that's the kind of stuff that I crave as a result.

F: Thank you for your time.

CT: Oh, my pleasure.

F: It went by so fast. We went over time; I still have a lot more questions.

CT: Oh, sorry.

F: No, no, no, no, no, no. That, that's, that's absolutely fine. Thank you.

[ltadoriyuujl]

your orbit is the best place to be

☆ earth is large and space is infinite and yet you still can never be more than 2 degrees of separation from the boy made of stars that has held your heart in his hands forever.

☆ bakugou katsuki x reader, 7.2k words

☆ no cw, bkg gets jealous, mineta is there as the worlds sleaziest plot device

☆ a/n: wow my first official tumblr fic! a million thank yous to all the oomfs that kept me motivated enough to finish this. @teddybeartoji @ms0milk <3 you guys

“Man, it's been ages since we've been to a station. I don't know about you guys, but I'm so ready to get off the ship.”

“Tell me about it. I'm honestly starting to go a little crazy in here.”

“I'm definitely excited. A buddy of mine told me the, ahem, ‘working girls’ of Iltari-7 can suck the silver off a new cybernetic.”

“Fucking hell, Denki, what kind of degenerates do you hang out with and why are they giving you hooker recommendations?”

Boisterous laughter bounced off the chrome walls of the lounge as your face screwed up in disgust. Most of the crew of the Aldera were scattered around the room, reclining and relaxing in various positions. Kirishima Eijirou, first mate, copilot, and the one who had spoken first, was seated on a stool by the small bar, his muscular back resting against the table so he could face the room. Sero Hanta, the ship's mechanic and gunnery chief, sat cross-legged on the floor, the parts of some new passion project littered around him. And Kaminari Denki, one of the best software engineers this side of the galaxy and the current source of your ire, was sprawled on the old couch positioned directly across from your own chair. 

“C'mon, cut me some slack, Doc. A guy can't get lonely?” Denki’s grin was large and unabashed, even as he tried to feign hurt. The corners of your own mouth started to quirk up. 

“You say that like the rest of us are imaginary or something. I'm touched that you value our friendship so deeply, Denki,” you replied, your tone dry despite the amusement on your face. 

“Love you too, but friendship doesn't get me-”

“And that is my cue to leave.” You swung your legs down from their perch on the center table, a second round of laughter ringing out as you stood. “I'm going to talk to our esteemed captain, see if I can negotiate an extra day in port.” 

Kirishima snorted as you passed him on your way to the door. “Good luck. Cap says 3 days, so really we're looking at 2 and a half. But hey, if anyone could get him to budge it's you, Doc.”

Solidly ignoring the implications of that statement, you pulled open the lounge door, stepped out into the hallway, and slid the door home again with extreme prejudice. The howls of your crewmates were audible from behind the thick steel as your legs began to carry you towards the bridge.

Bakugou Katsuki, captain of the Aldera, was something of an enigma to the larger spacefaring community. Only a handful of people even knew his full name, half of them being the ship's crew and the other half either on Earth or scattered through the far reaches of space. To most, he was the fearsome Dynamight, scourge of the endless night, the man who haunted the nightmares of hardened Federation admirals. The reward for his head was large enough to buy a small moon. He wasn't just a space pirate, he was the space pirate.

He also set the ship's day/night simulation settings to the Tokyo timezone so he could get 8 hours of sleep no matter where he was in the galaxy. He didn't drink, didn't smoke, and his only vice was the adrenaline of a fire fight. You'd been there when his arms were almost blown off, and kept him alive long enough to get them replaced by top of the line implants with veins that carried lighter fluid instead of blood. He'd knocked out one of your front teeth when you were 6 and he was 7, and there was a very faint scar on his left shoulder because you bit him immediately after. When he'd shown up to your dorm in the middle of the night, freshly defected with nothing to his name but a stolen ship and a handful of flight school buddies and asked you to come with him to the stars, you'd been gone before your RA was even awake enough to investigate the racket.

Lost in recollection, you almost ran face-first into the bridge door, catching yourself just in time to avoid being laid out by an inanimate object. Katsuki's first order of business as an outlaw was calling in a couple favors from some below-board mechanics and getting the whole ship remade into the specimen it was today. The Aldera, formerly the S.S. Yuuei, was refitted with brand new guns, shields, and stealth tech. Your captain also had the onboard AI stripped to barely more than glorified autopilot and, despite Denki's grumbles about the boredom of his post, the decision wasn't without merit. It disabled the Federation failsafe of remotely hijacking a vessel through its operating system, but while it was no doubt a great safety measure that had allowed you all to evade capture more times than you could count, even 5 years on the run wasn't enough to erase a lifetime of being used to automatic comforts and there was surely more security footage of you smacking into doors than you'd like. 

You're forced to squint as you step into the navigation room, the sunny “high noon” lighting at stark odds with the inky blackness outside the plexiglass window that dominated the room. Katsuki's form was visible in the captain's chair, right where you suspected he'd be. Vermillion eyes darted to yours as you moved to stand next to him, and with a small huff he dismissed the holopad he was reading and turned his full attention to you. 

“Doc.” Your title rolled off his tongue and fell at your feet, almost slimy with sarcasm. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hello to you too, Captain. I'm great, thanks for asking. I love that our first conversation of the day is starting off on such a good note.” Your tone was sickening in its faux sweetness, and the snort you received in return made you roll your eyes good-naturedly. 

“We've known each other way too long to bother with idiotic small talk.”

“Yeah, but you should be nice to the person who keeps you and your crew in fighting shape.”

“That person is me, and I've told you how I feel about your wellness tips.”

You flipped him off, though the grin on your face matched his. Talking with him was always easy.

“Seriously though, did you need something?” Katsuki asked, his hands flitting over the ship's console as he minutely adjusted the course. “We should be docking within the next 4 hours.” 

You let out a hum of acknowledgement, your gaze turning to the multitude of stars twinkling outside. “I told the guys I was going to ask you about getting another day in port, but really I just needed to get out of the conversation. Denki was starting to talk about station whores and that is not a topic I have the energy for right now.” 

Katsuki made a disgusted noise. “If that dumbass catches anything I'm venting him out of the airlock.”

“It honestly might be the best course of action. You abducted me before we got to the ‘alien STI’ section of the curriculum.” You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from doubling over in laughter as he groaned. The glare he fixed you with was venomous, but it'd been a long time since his irritation could get under your skin.

“If I recall correctly, and I'm pretty fucking sure I do, you basically tripped over yourself to come with me. You had a bag packed and everything!” 

“It was my overnight bag. Who knew midnight hookups and spontaneously going off-world required such similar supplies?”

A shadow passed over Katsuki's face, his features clouded by an expression that you almost recognized, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He huffed and started to fidget with the controls again, obviously trying to occupy his hands. 

“Whatever, you were still embarrassingly eager. All ‘Oh ‘Suki, I'd follow you anywhere’.” The pitch of his voice rose mockingly and you gasped in indignation. If he wanted to go low, you'd take it to hell.

Bracing one hand on the back of his chair and the other on the armrest, you leaned as far into his space as you were able without falling into his lap. Katsuki fixed you with a hard stare but, bullheaded man that he was, refused to give any ground. Your faces were inches apart, and you could hear him dragging in each breath with purpose, desperate not to let his pulse quicken in your presence.

“Since your memory is apparently so good, Captain,” your voice was low, bordering on sultry, “remind me, which one of us begged? What was it you said… ‘I don't want to do any of this without you?’ At 3 in the morning no less. If we're going to talk about eagerness and desperation, let's start there.”

Your faces were still close, closer than they really had any right to be. Red began to color Katsuki's ears and cheeks, but his mouth was set in a grim, determined line. You two stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, unstoppable force and immovable object. Finally, your captain scowled and turned his head away from you, breaking the deadlock. You bit back a whoop of joy at your victory in whatever odd dominance play you two had been engaged in, settling instead for a satisfied smirk as you straightened up again.

“Doesn’t matter who said what anyway,” he muttered under his breath, and you could almost see the wounded animal that was his pride settling hard in his chest. “We’re both here, aren’t we? Five years and you haven’t jumped ship yet.”

Your expression softened, and you reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. “You’re never, ever getting rid of me, I can promise you that. We’re stuck with each other, ‘Suki.” You felt the tension leak out of his frame and something like longing mixed with affection and took root in your lungs. For all the ways he was different, more grown-up and mature, he was also still the boy that drew his own star maps, the one that sat with you on the roof of his house and taught you how to recognize each constellation until you could point them out blindfolded.

His eyes were on you again and you withdrew your hand, suddenly conscious of the change in atmosphere. Clearing your throat, you took an awkward step back and turned halfway towards the door in an attempt to escape before you said anything you'd regret. “I'm going to double-check the supplies in medical. Make sure my shopping list is complete and all that. I’ll, uh, catch you later, Captain.” Your retreat was hasty, despite your best efforts at keeping calm, and you only allowed yourself to breathe once the cockpit door was shut behind you.

~

“Ah, good old station air!”

The Aldera was nestled comfortably into a dock in the Iltari-7 ship port, a small swarm of mechanics already seeing to any necessary repairs. You'd all wasted no time disembarking and Denki looked about ready to kiss the dubiously clean ground.

“You know, it's weird how every single port manages to smell like the same combination of recycled oxygen, burnt fuel, and piss,” you remarked, stretching your arms languidly above your head. “It’s almost comforting at this point.” The men around you let out various noises of agreement before delving into a conversation about whether or not the smell was natural or purposely manufactured. 

You tuned them out, your eyes glued instead to the distant form of your captain barking instructions at some poor dock aide. You couldn't quite make out the words but you’d be willing to bet it was something about making sure there wasn't a paint chip out of place when he got back. He was clad in his favorite faded leather vest (originally from his days in the Federation Academy, it was now so covered with studs and patches it was barely recognizable as Federation property) and a fitted black shirt and pants combo that showed off his figure in a way that was deeply detrimental to your sanity.

Eventually he finished scaring the piss out of the innocent and stomped over to where your merry band was waiting. He reached into the satchel resting on his hip and dug out 4 cards. 

“The keys to our hotel rooms,” he said as he shared them out. “You lose it, I’ll kick your ass and take the money to replace it out of your next paycheck.” 

Kirishima whistled as he turned the small piece of plastic in his hands. “Damn boss, what kind of place did you find that still uses physical keys?” 

“The kind of place that doesn’t ask about shit like existing criminal records.” You glanced down at your own key card before slipping into the small satchel you kept hidden under your coat. The mild inconvenience of having to worry about a physical object was a small price to pay for peace of mind, especially considering how during a pit stop last year you’d all woken up in the middle of the night to Federation officers in the lobby of the inn you were staying at. Personally, you weren’t eager to experience another mad dash to the hanger in nothing but your nightdress.

Katsuki rolled his neck, a series of pops sounding out as he did. “Alright, housekeeping. We’re here for 72 hours, no more than that. I don’t give a shit what you do with that time as long as you don’t get sick and don’t get arrested. If I call you to check in and you don’t pick up, I’ll hunt you down and you won’t like what happens when I find you. Any questions? No? Great, scatter.”

Sero and Kaminari didn’t need to be told twice, the two of them practically bolting down the street. Kirishima gave an exaggerated salute before heading off as well. You were just about to start making your way to the nearest depot when a large, familiar hand enveloped your elbow. You looked back and cocked a quizzical eyebrow at your captain. “Not you, Doc. You’re coming with me.” You scoffed and tugged your arm out of his grip. 

“I have actual plans, you know. Since when do you have business where my presence is necessary?” The look on his face did little to inspire any measure of confidence in you.

“Word on the net says the guy who's offering to fence our haul has delusions of chivalry, or some shit like that. Apparently he doesn't scam chicks, so if you're at the meeting with me we might actually get a better deal.”

You blinked once, twice, brain desperately trying to interpret the words that had come out of his mouth in a way that didn't make you want to beat him over the head. “You want me,” you began, the words rolling slowly out of your mouth, “to be your date…to a haul negotiation.” 

“Date is a strong word.” The blonde man didn't look nearly bashful or penitent enough for the request he was making, and you felt a muscle twitch in your jaw. “You'd just be there to help smooth things out.”

“Ah, so you want me to be eye candy. That's such an improvement.”

“I'll buy everything on your shopping list.”

“My shopping list is full of medical supplies. For the ship. That we all fucking use.”

“That new headset you've been itching for, then. With the fancy AI and diagnostic capabilities.”

“The one you said was unreasonably expensive?” 

“I won't even bitch about it.”

You crossed your arms and looked away from him, a scowl painted on your features. On one hand, the request was demeaning and just subtly misogynistic enough to really get under your skin. On the other hand, more money was always a good thing, and you were honestly a little curious to meet a man with such an interesting set of principles.

Plus, you really wanted that headset.

“You also owe me a favor that I can cash in at any time.” You fixed Katsuki with your best “dead serious” glare. He threw his hands up in surrender, but his grin could only be described as shit-eating.

“You drive a hard bargain, but we have a deal. Now come on, let’s see how fast we can get this over with.”

~

Whatever you'd expected the mysterious fence to look like, it wasn't anywhere near the reality. The man on the other side of the counter was short, so short he needed a step stool to make eye contact with you. The rest of him looked honestly pretty human, no extra limbs, digits, or facial features. The most bizarre thing about his appearance was the texture of his hair (or whatever it was that was on his head), which resembled large squishy purple balls.

“Well, well, look who it is!” His voice echoed through the space, briefly covering the noises of the small gadgets and trinkets littered around the “pawn shop”. “Dynamight, can I just say what an honor it is to have you in my establishment? I mean, you're something of a legend to us guys on the, ahem, other side of the law.” 

Katsuki grunted in response, his nose twitching like he was trying his damndest not to wrinkle it in distaste. The other man either didn't notice or didn't care, his attention switching immediately to you. 

“And what fine company you've brought as well!” He was still addressing “Dynamight”, but his smile was directed entirely at you. “It's a pleasure to meet you, miss. I'm Mineta, the owner of this here establishment and a professional…well I like to refer to myself as a ‘procurement specialist’ in polite company.”

“You hear that, ‘Suki? We're polite company.” You couldn't keep the smirk out of your voice as you responded. “Is ‘smuggler’ too dirty a word for you, Mineta?”

To his credit, the small salesman didn't rise to your barb, his customer service smile still fixed to his face. “Well no, but it doesn't exactly look great on a business card, does it?” 

You chuckled airily. “Fair enough.”

Your captain, apparently fed up with the back and forth banter, leaned on the countertop with an unimpressed expression. “Are you two going to yap all day or can we talk business?” The words seemed to snap Mineta out of his casual demeanor and into work mode, and he zeroed back in on the outlaw before him. 

“Of course, of course.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a holopad, setting it between all 3 of you. The shopkeep pressed some buttons and a number was projected into the air. “20,000 credits” read the hologram, for sure not an amount to scoff at, but one look in Katsuki's direction showed he was less than enthused. 

“Is this some kind of joke?” The blonde's voice wasn't quite a snarl, but definitely close. “I sent you a scanned content list and you decided 20k was a decent number for a haul that good?” 

Mineta frowned, but his tone was still calm as he replied. “Well, this is a negotiation. If you think I'm lowballing, you're welcome to put out an offer.”

“50.” Your eyes almost bulged out of your head at the number he spat out. The cargo was valuable for sure, but not 50 thousand fucking credits worth, and Katsuki of all people should know that. Then, his eyes met yours, and your role in this particular dance finally clicked into place in your mind. 

You pressed against the counter, arms folded over your ribcage to subtly push your chest up. You gave the blonde your best chastising look and pout combo, setting the stage for your performance. “‘Suki, come on. Aren't you being a little unreasonable?” You paused to shoot Mineta a warm smile. “Ignore him, he's woken up on the wrong side of the bed every day for 5 years.”

Mineta's expression instantly brightened, and you didn't miss the way his eyes darted to your tits and lingered there. Hook, line, and sinker. “I understand,” he began, slightly lifting his heels off the stepstool to lean closer to you. It took all your composure and professionalism not to move away. “It's a grueling line of work you two are in. That said, you seem to bear it with nothing short of the utmost beauty and grace, miss.” Someone was laying it on thick. You forced yourself to giggle and hoped it came out halfway believable. 

Katsuki grimaced at the exchange and moved closer to you, but you paid him no mind. Your eyes were fixed on the prize, now. “How about we try again, hm? I do think 50 is a bit much, so maybe we can try 40?” In truth, you didn't believe the items you brought to the table were worth a dime more than 25k, but if batting your eyelashes and playing ditzy lined your pockets with a little something extra then you were going to milk this, goddammit. 

Mineta still looked unsure, but was obviously more receptive to the high offer than before. “Well, considering it comes with the Dynamight name attached to it, I suppose it is worth a little more, yes. I'd have no trouble reselling…can we compromise at 35?” A good number. A great number, in fact, but you wanted to see how far you could push. 

“37, final offer. We worked awfully hard to keep this raid quiet, you know. The feds don't even know about it, which means they won't be on lookout for the stuff. Don't you think we deserve a little extra for making your job easier?” You kept your tone light and playful, going so far as to reach out and run your index finger under Mineta's chin, tilting his head up slightly to meet your gaze. A full body shudder passed through the man, and again you suppressed the desire to recoil.

“I think,” the salesman's tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I think that's fair.” You retracted your finger as Mineta began to fiddle with the holopad again, the 20 swiftly replaced with a 37. 

You beamed as you retreated from the counter, allowing Katsuki to occupy your spot and handle the specifics of closing out the deal. The smile on your face was the peak of self-satisfaction, and it only grew when you heard the telltale chime of a money transfer. As you made your way out of the shop, you sent a silent prayer of thanks to whichever god was responsible for handing out perfect racks. You also shot a small kudos to the patron saint of sleazy idiots, for good measure. 

As soon as you were both definitely out of hearing range you whirled on Katsuki in delight, but your expression faltered when you caught sight of the storm brewing in his features. He looked irritated, on the edge of downright pissed off, and it effectively dampened your own mood. Tugging on his arm, you steered him into a nearby alleyway in an effort to avoid prying eyes and ears.

“What's up with you?” you asked once you were sure there'd be no unwelcome intrusions to the conversation. “I thought the deal went great.”

He scowled and crossed his arms as he leaned against the rough synthetic brick of the alleway. His face was casted down, very pointedly not looking at you. “‘m not pissed off about the deal,” he mumbled, and your confusion only grew.

“Then why are you pissed off?”

Your captain scoffed. “Maybe because that bastard looked like he wanted to fucking eat you,” he ground out through gritted teeth. 

For the second time today, you contemplated strangling him. You raised a hand and pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to gather your patience. “I thought the whole point was that my job was to be arm décor. Was the end goal not to get him to think with his dick and not his head? I mean, you brought me as a sex object and now you're mad that the guy wanted to have sex with me!”

“I know what the fucking objective was, I just-” His mouth snapped shut, but the look in his eyes and the set of his jaw told you everything you needed to know. He looked the same as he did earlier when you mentioned your past hookups, the same as he always did when he caught you in the hallways of wherever the crew was crashing at, waving goodbye to whoever had warmed your bed the night before. Same dark eyes, same twisted up mouth, same neck twitch. You'd assumed before that he was just being protective, but the truth was glaring in your face brighter than any neon sign.

Bakugou Katsuki was jealous and you were pissed the hell off.

“How long?” you demanded. His expression morphed from petulant to confused as he looked at you. 

“What?”

“How long have you had feelings for me?” You willed your voice not to crack, though the equal parts anger and yearning that bubbled to the front of the emotional storm brewing in your chest made it a herculean task. This wasn't fair. He didn't get to do this to you, not 5 years in, not when you'd finally made your peace and were on your way to killing the pesky adoration you'd spent far too long grappling with.

“I- That's not what this is about-”

“Don't even try to pull that shit. This is my favor, I'm cashing it in right now. Tell me the truth, how long?”

You stared at him. He stared back. The alleyway was silent except for the low whirring of the machinery under Katsuki’s skin. The foot of distance between you felt impossibly charged and volatile, like one false move would trigger a city-leveling explosion. Just as your eyes started to burn from strain and the pressure of the tears behind your eyes, Katsuki ducked his head again, breaking the stalemate. Normally, winning two battles of will against him in the same day would inflate your ego to unmanageable heights, but the moment was too bittersweet to fully appreciate your victory.

“I don't know.”

“That's not an answer.”

“It's the truth.” Crimson eyes met yours, and the naked vulnerability in them almost took your breath away. “I don't remember how long I've wanted you. Feels like forever.”

Your knees felt weak and your mouth was dry and every night you spent staring at the cold chrome ceiling of your ship quarters with longing and want ripping through you came rushing back in cold clarity. The storm in your chest broke, and the roiling waves of emotion threatened to choke you. You needed air, and space, and maybe to slap him then kiss him stupid. 

“Right.” The word felt foreign, almost wrong, on your tongue. It wasn't what you wanted to say, but it was all your traitorous vocal cords would allow you. Katsuki's brow furrowed and his lips parted, and you were far too emotionally fragile to hear whatever he was about to say. 

Beating him to the punch, you blurted out, “I’ll see you back at the hotel,” before spinning on your heel and striding out of the alley as quickly as your legs would carry you. Half expecting him to follow you or call you back, you were filled with both relief and disappointment when he made no move to go after you. His gaze burned against the back of your skull until you disappeared around the nearest corner. 

~

It was well past sunset (or “whatever star this trash heap orbits”-set) when you finally made your way to the hotel. The building itself was nondescript, the paint on the outside was faded, and it was altogether generally unimpressive. Only the flickering sign that matched the stamp on your keycard signified it as the place you were looking for. At least the inside was free of any foul scents or mysterious stains, which automatically put it above at least half of your past accommodations. 

You trudged up the steps to the second floor and prayed on all that was kind and good that this place had hot running water. You'd calmed down significantly since you'd ditched your captain, but a hot shower would give you the chance to sort out the last stubborn remnants of your emotional turmoil. You turned the corner into your hallway and were wholly unsurprised to see the last person you wanted to acknowledge standing right next to your door.

Katsuki had dressed down since you'd last seen him. His worn leather vest and fitted shirt were gone, leaving him in only a white undershirt that was definitely a size too small. Desire flared in your gut, unwelcome, and you forced yourself to suppress a groan. Clearly he had no intentions of making the conversation you two needed to have easy for you.

His head snapped in your direction as you approached, and your heart clenched at the flash of uncertainty that ran across his face before he managed to school it back into careful neutrality. You stopped in front of your door, placing a hand on the handle as you turned to look at him.

“We should talk.” His voice was low, gentle, like he was scared you'd run again if he disturbed the air too much.

“Is that an order, Captain?” you asked in response, fluidly inserting your keycard into its slot until the light on the door turned green. Pushing it open, you looked back over your shoulder, one eyebrow arched. Katsuki’s jaw clenched as he visibly swallowed. 

“No. It's not an order.” You hummed and jerked your head towards the inside of the room, signaling for him to follow, before pushing the door open wider and stepping in.

Flicking on the light, you surveyed the space. It was decently furnished, with a large couch taking up the opposite wall and a loveseat slightly adjacent to it, a hard light projection of a coffee table the centerpiece of the room. There was a small but seemingly functional kitchenette off to the side, and a door set into the wall on your right that you assumed led to the bedroom. 

You moved towards the small table in the kitchen, shucking off your coat and draping it on the back of one of the two dining chairs present. Your satchel followed, tossed carelessly onto the table as you strode towards the couch. The color was likely a rich navy blue once, but time and wear had turned it much lighter in places. It was comfortable, at the very least, and you sprawled over it, head resting on one armrest while your legs were tossed over the other side.

The man you'd known almost all your life slumped into the loveseat, his arm inches from your head. You shifted to be able to see him properly. He was sweating bullets with the harsh blue glow of the coffee table illuminating half his face from below. One of his best looks, in your humble opinion. 

He inhaled, long and deep, before exhaling just as thoroughly. He opened his mouth, glanced at you, glanced away, and closed it again. It struck you that while you were aware of both his feelings and your own, you'd never actually expressed to him that you reciprocated his affection. Come to think of it, fleeing the second he confessed probably hadn't done his confidence any favors. You winced slightly as guilt squeezed your insides, and reached out to drop a (hopefully) comforting hand on his knee. His eyes snapped to the appendage, and his gaze crawled up your arm until he finally managed to settle on your face. You tried your best to project encouragement, and he drew in another deep breath. 

“10 years.” You blinked, your features suddenly clouded with confusion. 

“What?”

Katsuki huffed like you were the one being difficult and adjusted his posture, leaning over the arm of his seat to be closer to you.

“You asked me how long I've had feelings for you, so I did some soul-searching or whatever the fuck and decided 10 years was the answer. Ever since you showed up to my house on my 16th birthday, clutching that crystal telescope lens that I'd been eyeing for ages. I asked you how the hell you afforded something like that, and you told me you'd saved 4 months’ worth of allowance plus walked every dog in the neighborhood 5 times over. You had this big goofy grin on your face like you hadn't dropped a crazy amount of money just so I could have a clearer view of the same star systems I'd already memorized.” He paused, working his jaw as he contemplated whether or not to continue. A squeeze from the hand on his knee seemed to thoroughly convince him. 

“I honestly almost told you to take it back, to return it and get your money back and use it on literally anything else. But you were just…you were so fucking happy about it, going on and on about how I'd finally be able to personally count Jupiter's moons or something like that. I didn't have it in me to reject it, I mean, it was literally the nicest thing anyone ever did for me up to that point. And when we finally got the chance to slip up to the roof and slot the new lens in…the sights were beautiful. Better than I'd imagined, better than the ads. Your shoulder jostled mine when you went in for a look and it was like I'd eaten a whole swarm of butterflies. It was the first time I'd ever felt like that around you, around anyone really. I guess that's when I knew.” 

10 years. You're not quite sure how you expected him to answer, but what you got was certainly more than you anticipated. Every interaction between the two of you in the last decade flitted through your mind, colored by this new information, and your chest tightened almost painfully. 

“Wow,” was all you managed to say when you finally opened your mouth. His whole body tensed, and you blurted out your next words before he could get too deep in his head. “Do you want to know when I came to terms with my feelings?”

He inhaled sharply, his eyes boring into you like twin suns. “Your feelings?” His voice was almost a whisper, and you offered him a gentle smile.

“What, you think you have a monopoly on pining?” He huffed out a laugh as you repositioned yourself, pushing upright and shifting until you were leaning over your own armrest, putting the two of you eye to eye. 

“When we were 17, and I was sitting with you in the nurse's office at school and watching you get your knuckles wrapped because Enzo-”

Katsuki's groan was loud, cutting you off mid-sentence. You snickered, amused that the mention of your first boyfriend was still enough to get him riled up.

“Can I continue, or do you still have curses to pile on him almost a decade later?”

“I definitely do, but you can keep going as long as you don't say that idiot's name.”

“Well, what do you want me to refer to him as?”

“Preferably ‘that worthless bastard’ but you can get creative with it if you want.” You rolled your eyes, but you were fighting a losing battle trying to keep a smile off your face. 

“Fine, whatever, moving on. You were getting your fists taken care of because you'd fucked them up in the process of beating my ex's face to a pulp.” Katsuki tsked in annoyance at your word choice but you forged on. “On account of him cheating on me with one of the student trainers.” 

“And I'd do it again too.” 

“Am I ever going to get to finish my story?”

“Sorry.” The man across from you at least had the good sense to look sheepish at your scolding tone. You shook your head in exaggerated exasperation.

“Like I was saying, you, me, school clinic, split knuckles. The nurse was ripping you a new one while she bandaged you up, and all I could do was sit there and replay the moment in my head. The way we ran into that prick at lunch and I immediately got choked up and hurt all over again. The expression on your face when you looked at me. Next thing I knew there were like 3 people pulling you off him, and he was a sort of groaning person-shaped heap.” Slowly, as if  handling something wild, you moved your hand to settle on top of his. Your thumb brushed gently over the long-healed skin and his breath hitched as a faint shiver ran through him. 

“Even when they threatened you with expulsion, you never looked regretful or remorseful. As far as you knew, the end of your space pilot dream was staring you in the face and you didn't so much as flinch. One look at me and you'd been ready to throw it all away. That's when my crush kicked into full gear, and saying it all out loud is making me feel kinda stupid for not realizing how you felt about me sooner.” 

You chuckled, but the sound turned into a soft gasp as Katsuki flipped his hand up to grip yours, the hold firm but not painful. Your eyes moved from where your palms were connected to his face, and the intensity you found there made your heart beat faster. 

“You wanna know when I knew I loved you?”

For a brief, beautiful moment, every mechanism in the universe ground to a screeching halt. The stars stopped burning, the planets stopped spinning, your breath caught in your throat and your heart paused mid-beat. His words rung in your ears like church bells, deafening in glorious cacophony. Even after the natural order resumed, you still felt nailed to your seat. You nodded mutely, not trusting your voice to be steady enough not to shatter the moment. 

“When I woke up,” he began, his grip on your hand tightening marginally, “in that shady implant center, brain fried from hours of pain and being in and out of consciousness. Everything hurt like hell, and my new arms felt heavy and weird. Then I turned my head to look at the ceiling, and there you were. Your eyebags had eyebags, your hair was a mess, and you had a nasty bruise peeking out from under your collar where a laser blast had hit the protective mesh in your coat. Despite all that, you were beaming like you'd won the lottery. Plus you were directly under one of those old-fashioned fluorescent bulbs and it was casting a flickering halo around your head. I swear I thought you were an angel. Sometimes I still do.”

You made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh as you blinked back the tears gathering at your waterline. Unthinking, you stood from your seat and moved to stand in front of Katsuki. Your hands were still intertwined and he used that connection to tug you forward, his other hand moving to settle on your back as you fell gently into his lap, your knees on either side of his thighs.

“Never took you for a sap, ‘Suki.” Your unoccupied hand drifted to play with the baby hairs at the nape of his neck and you laughed softly at his exaggerated eye roll. You liked this version of him, the type that existed for your eyes only, bathed in artificial light yet deeply human.

“Yeah, whatever.” His hand on your back was big and warm, and you felt almost embarrassed by how much it affected you. The synthetic nerve endings in his arms were bad at detecting heat, a necessary failsafe to facilitate his explosions, but now all you could think about was if he could feel the warmth of you through your shirt.

“You know, it’s sorta funny.” Katsuki’s head tilted slightly, his eyes fixated on you. The center of his attention was both a wonderful and slightly terrifying place to be. “You liked me first but I loved you first.”

“That so?” he asked, a smirk curling his lips as the palm at your back slipped under your shirt to trace patterns over your spine. The feeling of his digits dancing over your bare skin almost robbed you of rational thought entirely, but you pushed through.

 “Call me cliché, but the night you showed up to my dorm and begged me to run away with you was so romantic from my point of view. It’s a miracle I didn’t swoon into your arms like one of those fainting damsels in a shitty romance novel.”

“There you go again, saying I begged. I asked politely.”

“Call it whatever you want, starboy, you were the one who made an objectively unnecessary detour while you were an active fugitive just to fulfill a promise you made when we were kids.” Your expression was as smug as humanly possible, but he seemed wholly unphased. You weren’t sure when in the course of the conversation his attitude had pivoted from nervous wreck to playboy.

“I promised we’d see the galaxy together, and we have. I’m a man of my word.” It was your turn to roll your eyes in an exaggerated arc, tugging lightly on his hair in reproach.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe I didn’t clock you earlier. Denial is truly a hell of a drug. You want me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

Katsuki scoffed and pushed you even further into him, eliminating almost all space between your bodies. “Don’t throw stones from glass houses, Doc.” 

You huffed and pulled your hand away from his at last, both palms moving to cradle his face. His newly free hand immediately took up a position at your waist, mirroring its twin. “Say my name.”

The first syllable managed to slip past his lips before you crashed into him.

You poured almost half a lifetime of longing into the kiss, and your other half responded in kind. It was deep, desperate, and more than a little messy. His lips molded over yours like they belonged there, like the very notion of parting from you was absurd. Your fingers curled over his jaw and left small crescent indents on his cheeks as his tongue poked at the seam of your mouth, a request that was eagerly granted. His hands tightened on your sides and you were grateful for the sensation, for something to ground you as you dived into him over and over. 

When you finally parted, lungs strained and panting, you were sure there were stars in your eyes. He pressed his forehead against yours, unwilling to let you pull away too much, and you happily obliged him. The two of you spent a minute simply trading breaths, the world outside your intimate bubble entirely unimportant. You turned your head to press a kiss to his cheek, chaste and almost shy. You could feel the muscles in his face moving as he smiled.

“...so about that headset-” He sealed his lips over yours again, and you’d never been happier to shut up in your life.

[onbearfeet]

Went to a school board meeting with a friend to support her and her union in their opposition to hundreds of teacher/counselor layoffs. Filled out a little card to speak because why not, we're trying to make this meeting run crazy long, so they probably won't get to me, and if they do, I can yap, right? I'm a yapper. All I have to do is yap.

Meeting does go crazy long. So long, in fact, that people start trickling out of the overflow room we're all stuffed in and the temperature drops. I put my black peacoat around my shoulders, over my black shirt and dark jeans. I am the only person in here wearing a mask, and I only know one person here, so I'm mostly quiet and listening to others talk. I write a little statement in my notebook to read in case I panic, mostly about the importance of educators in a time of misinformation and chaos. I listen more. I scroll Tumblr. I say very little, except to cheer and boo when the room does.

3.5 hours in, my name is unexpectedly called. I'm one of the last to speak and they're calling a lot of people who've already left, so I jump up and hustle out to the board chamber, talk my way past the guard, and stride swiftly into the room and up to the lectern so as not to waste any more of anyone's time.

I read my statement. It's angry because fuck these people, they're firing teachers in the middle of a shortage to cover up their own incompetence. I've done theater, radio, podcasting, and some teaching, so I know my way around a mic and I project my voice like a motherfucker. My voice is a little rough because of three hours of mask-induced postnasal drip. I get to the end of my statement (about 30 seconds), and instead of thanking the board, I snarl, "DO BETTER," into the mic. Then I walk out--again, with a long swift stride for efficiency, but yes, it could technically be called storming or stalking.

I cross the hall back to the overflow room, where everyone has been watching on a screen. I awkwardly squeeze past some people in the doorway and start to scurry back to my seat when somebody whoops and several people applaud. I sit back down with my friend and HER friends are giving me startled/impressed looks. My friend hugs me.

It is then that I realize that, between my somewhat aggressive eyeshadow and deep-set eyes, my mask, and my nearly all-black ensemble, I probably look a little spooky right now, especially on the monitor. Also, I just growled an angry and impassioned message at a government body, and then I swept out of the room with my coat billowing behind me like I was the goddamn Batman of secondary school funding. Which most of the room probably did not expect out of someone who otherwise said maybe ten words all night, all of which were cheerful and about snacks and/or my handmade teddy bears.

Anyway, this is your sign to try to terrify your local school board into doing the right thing.

[peargor]

Not quite sure if sent the message cause bad internet connection so i'll just paste the whole thing here again incase:

Hey peargor!(donno if you're still using tumblr bt whatever) Let me Congrats ya for your coming completion on Touhou project first (yay恭喜)

Here's the wandering dude from mainland china(typical netizen lol)and randomly clicked into ya website while visiting webrings & link collections.Lotta ideas jump through my head and letme say a few words below: BoTWR's really a good series from my perspective,like,Dispite having gaps when understanding the lore,i still can kinda understand the characters,from core to spirit(Cantonese's partly cognizable for mandarin viewers so it kinda fun when lookin' zoey swearing lol)I guess a variety of mainland audience would like it too.Like,it even inspired me to have a look back into the history and mess 'n hongkong on the "great firewall" and made me sorta think deeply about all these mess……but anyways,here's imaginary non medal stickers：

"Mandarin approved"and

"i concerned for la nation"(just kidding),

and i'll keep focusing on the series(actually the others' quite adorable too,sure it took me a while to realize that you actually deeply involve in internet meme culture,after the shock when i found you do made the pogchamp meme gosh)

Btw Just wondering,did the reading disorder cause you to use more english in written form stuff?

Looking forward for the upcoming new chapters yet a few more words:

1:LIT ' O TOMMIE DESERVES ＢＥＴＴＥＲ Yo

Poor tommy,hope he 'll get a chance to be a man

2:mmm how and what would zoey's dad be…… He's sorta a villain for now but i hope he's just a dude who failed to correct his own fault by force or "internal error"?

3:that color can be some exposure of one's emotion thing.yeah classic "into head" thingy but perhaps it means more deep than what it seems?Maybe Blue represents the sadness,niche thoughts,hopeless rational thinking,Yellow's cheerfully craziness,Red's cruelly dialectical greedin' justice,and BLACK's something unresist-able unless you learn some real floyd's philosophy thing?

You can get some new referencing idea from the old HK's TVB show like "大时代"(The Greed of a man),also some new from mainland that accidentally have more coverage report on hk which apple dailys' doesn't(?),Trust me,gotta be good for setting both character and lore

Whatever,Best wishes on not getting perished by cops!(pretty sure you won't be cause you probably haven't spoke something politically for at least 2 years on the public internet and you won't be caught for drawing "china virus girl?" and political comments too early haha)

PS:Try to get yourself a fan-base besides the old social meida the X,patron,like a mewe,discord group somethin' alike for a better place for talks 'n discussion i suppose?

Hi fellow netizen! I'm sure the mainland would like to read the comics but that really opens up a can of worms that I'm not prepared to deal with yet, so for now I'll refrain from translating the comics.

1: Tommy has the happiest life compared to the rest of the main cast I wouldn't worry too much about him lol

2: mm it's much more complicated, I also think my audience expects a political opinion from me. It ties to my own experiences with asian culture in general. I am very critical, but I think the public expectation to what I'm critical of is kinda skewed at the moment. There's so much nuance to this story I hope people have a healthy discussion over the conclusion of Zoey's arc in the future.

3: Yellow, Blue and Red are the key colours. What they represent is up to your own interpretation. To me yellow is the self/your values, blue is career/ambition, and red is religion/community/family. There's more colours down the road but these are the most important ones. If there's going to be discussions over the story please feel free to create those spaces! I haven't done so because I am the main writer and I would like these things to happen naturally in the future. It feels wrong for me to create a space as someone with complete authority over the story.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on IWBTWR! Sorry it took so long to respond, I've been trying to find the words to convery my thoughts properly.

[stgosupremacy]

TIME TO TALK ABOUT:

THIS BEAUTY OF A SCENE!!! 🥰😍 (+ that animation is chefs kiss)

i kid you not in the dub at the beginning right here there's this really sad piano music that goes on throughout and the way you have to restrain yourself from crying is ILLEGAL FROM ANIPOKE

"Ash?"

"You see, I said I wanted to travel, but can i really make it through this big world...all by myself?"

🥺💗

ok. THE WAY GOH SLOWLY LOOKS UP AT ASH ONCE HE'S SAID THAT OMGGGGGGGGG MY HEART????????

i cannot descirbe how cute i found this omg like i thought he was gonna ask him to travel with him bc he changed his mind.... but that wasn't the case sadly (but then again, i love my independent goh too) 🥰

"The only reason I've got this far is because you've been with me"

ngl but THE WAY I was biting my knuckle at this point 😭😭

(ok this is random but the way goh's hair was swaying in the wind was like 🥺💖👌)

"You see, I'm just not sure..y'know...me doing it.....alone." ( 🥺)

(🥺🥺🥺*deep breaths* ....gimmie a sec hold on...)

it's so crazy that this insecure goh is the kind of thing i would write in a fanfic and here is anipoke bringing him back intocanon like 😭💖 AND KUDOS TO GOH'S VOICE ACTOR AS ALWAYS BECAUSE HE SOUNDED SO BROKENNNNN this scene hits too hard </33

"What are you talking about?!"

the way ash sounds so mad about him thinking like that 😭💗💗💗

"You were chosen as a member of project mew right? You actually met mew!"

*🥺*

"Any problems, you can gimmie a call"

GODKNJGDKFGGFXKJCVM i needed this as a way they keep in touch THANK YOU ANIPOKE 😭🙏🏼🙏🏼 (and this was so sweet from ash what the hell)

"After all, don't forget (when he said this he sounded so insistent) we're

FRIENDS!" 🥰💖💖💖

.....no comment (yeah....im just too busy crying..thats all)

....are we not gonna talk about that slow gentle head tilt.

LIKE

HOW IS THIS JUST ACCEPTED AND MOVED ON FROM

well. i'm not because i think i would do a page ranting about it so for your sake.....lets regretfully MOVE ON 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

"Thanks Ash." HIS VOICE WHEN GOH SAYS IT GODDDD 🥺😭

LITERALLY BRIEF SKIP TO THIS VERY BEAUTFIL TOTALLY NOT GAY SCENE AT ALLLLL (bc tumblr wont tolerate much more snipping tool)

made sure to emphasise that too, yep yep anipoke very slick

"You can count on pokemon to be ...AWESOMEE!"

they are so damn gorgeous and in sync WE LOVE THEMMM AHHH

"This is the reason Goh."

"Huh?" (he sounded so cute ehheh)

"This is the reason I love going on journeys!"

gonna be honest im not typing it all out but they have this really cute conversation about why they love pokemon and their goals BECAUSE THEYRE JUST SO IN SYNCCC and thenn....

"Goh?" (THE WAY HE SAYS HIS NAME HERE. I GENUINELY LIKE SERIOUSLY CANNOT. i wish i had an audio file or smt smh)

"Yeah Ash?" (he's so happy now like🥰 i just love them)

the triumphant music is so real like take a look at these fist bros

"IM GOING ON A JOURNEYYY!!" 🥳🥳

the way ash softens and smiles is so cute

"YEAHHHHH!!!" 🥳🥳🥳💗

GOH'S SUPPORTIVE BOYYYYYYYY GOALS YESSSS WE GOTTA LOVE HIM!!!

(*pikachu laughing noises* have to be appreciated bc it's sounds so cute)

ok ngl i don't know if you can tell but this may be one of my fav scenes for them BECAUSE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS SO SWEETB AND WHOLESOMEEEE but i have to appreciate how you stuck around for so long so

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO THIS RANTTTTTTTTT <3

and ofc as always u are so welcome for it!!

🥳

[justabirdy]

Let's Talk About 2024, 2025, This Page, and A Birdy

Well I think it would be fair to say that this past year has not gone remotely like I had planned or hoped it would. 

2024

A year ago, I was comfortably employed in a somewhat lonely corner of Wisconsin. There were rumblings of anxiety about my job but I was hopeful they would pass. 

They did not.

I ultimately started updating this page because things at work continued to degrade and I wanted to build some income while passing along a love for backyard birdwatching through the livestream. I still deeply miss that livestream and would love to set it up again one day because it was such a fun project for me and being able to watch birds anywhere I was also provided a sense of peace and wonder even as my job situation crumbled beneath me. 

But the job continued to crumble and soon I was left unemployed and unhoused. The livestream had to end and all my stuff was packed away. I'll be honest, I spent most of the summer kind of drifting without a goal. I applied to hundred of jobs in my field of work, made it to finalist positions for roughly 30 of them... and landed not a single one. 

So I spent my free time doing digital art, picking up leathercrafting again and trying new stuff. It was a true breath of fresh air to explore my creative side. But the job situation was also a huge stress and it quickly became apparent that I needed to leave Wisconsin if I had any hope of finding work. 

So I did. I landed a temporary job just doing customer service to help pay some bills and moved across the country to Seattle. I left most of my belongings behind and moved into a dear friends spare room for minimal rent. 

Fall and winter of 2024 have been spent mostly working, getting settled in the area, job hunting, being rejected even more from job opportunities, and meeting some of the best people I've ever known and a sense of community I have been craving for a long time. It's been a long and arduous year.

So What Now?

With 2025 here and no new job prospects to really show for it, my temporary, customer service job is coming to a close. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do in the long term, but for now, it looks like I'm starting a leathercraft business. At the very least I'm hoping to continue to make some money to support the fact that my income is so unstable right now. Though I love working on leather and I would love for this to get enough support that I could rely on it more consistently and continue making cool leather pieces for people.

I'm still looking for other work, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that my work in outdoor and environmental education may be done. The career I spent 10 years building just may not want me anymore. Still not sure how I feel about that, but at least I'm processing it. 

About This Page and Those Supporting It

My tumblr has been pretty quiet recently. Admittedly its just been hard to feel community here wile I try to navigate the upheaval in my life elsewhere. I don't plan on leaving but the things I post will continue to change as I try to find a new niche to settle into.

I'll still keep updating here as I can! Hopefully I can get in the habit of updating here even more since I already have some leather projects in the works that I want to share though I will likely be more actively updating on my Kofi shop and my bluesky as those are just easier for me to update regularly.

I hope you all will keep supporting me as I know I am going to need it now more than ever once this job contract ends. I know the topic of posting has changed a lot since this page really started, but I hope its still interesting and worth keeping track of or even trying some of my leatherwork. 

Thank you all for all the support so far and here's to surviving another wild year that 2025 is already shaping up to be.

[lazyfandombean]

Psst, you!

Hey, hey you! Yeah, you! I've got a question for ya. Do you feel normal about SCC (Sweet Cap'n Cakes)?

-> Yes -> No

[❤️Yes] [Ohhhh, I see. You're in denial, aren't you? ;)]

[❤️No] [Aha! Just as I projected- I mean suspected! Suspected. Yeah.]

Well, I've got some GREAT news for you! Have you ever felt saddened by the lack of SCC-centric fanfiction? Specifically the kind that depicts them as brothers instead of bandmates or partners (no shade to those depictions btw)?

No? Shut up yes you have /j

Yes? Fantastic! Well, no, sorry that you're sad :/ BUT! Be sad no longer! For I've come to save the day!

In the form of my newfound SCC hyperfixation!!!

That's right!! I've been going crazy about The Guys™️ for the past week or so, but to my absolute SHOCK, there are hardly ANY fanfics for them!!! And almost all them revolve around them as a SHIP! And no offense, but I just don't like reading about ships all that much, sorry!!! :(

SO!!! How am I going to fix this dilemma, I wondered? But THEN! I remembered something!! Something very, VERY important:

'Oh yeah I'm a fanfic author.'

Is this me implying that I'm now writing a bunch of SCC fanfiction in a very roundabout way? YES YES IT IS! :D

In fact, I've already posted one on Ao3 and have turned it into a 'series'! By that I just mean that the 'series' is really just a place for me to dump all of my SCC-centric fics. I'll link the series here, BUT I'll also be cross-posting most, if not all, of those fics from Ao3 to here on Tumblr!

Oh also link btw:

But why am I talking about it like this on Tumblr, you ask? Introducing it in such a way when I could have just started posting SCC content? For two reasons!

One: Idk I just felt like it

Two: Because!! It has come to my attention that hardly anybody on Ao3 even reads SCC fanfiction.

And no, this isn't me begging for like... kudos or subscriptions (or followers, I guess it is on Tumblr? Idk I don't use it much) or anything like that. What I AM asking for is for people to read it. Not because I want to get popular, but because...

I am very self-conscious about the way I write SCC.

Well, to be honest I'm just self-conscious about the way I write any fictional character. It's actually the thing I worry about the most when it comes to fanfiction; whether or not I'm getting the personalities right. And I'm aware that it's more about how you perceive the characters, and that headcanons are a thing (I have plenty of them myself), but in my opinion, there's a line between having a headcanon and writing something ooc. Headcanons are fine, yes, and I use them a lot (especially when it comes to Undertale and Deltarune characters), but I feel like it can get to the point where it's so ooc that it doesn't even feel like the same character. And that's something I definitely don't want to happen when I write about my three favorite guys EVER. So basically, I'm asking people to read my fics specifically so I can get feedback on how to write the characters.

Why didn't I ask my friends? Bold of you to assume I have any /hj

But no fr, none of my friends play Deltarune, and I'm not even sure if any of them have heard of it. My sister has played before, but she never really got into it, and it's been so long that I doubt she would even remember who SCC are if I asked.

So, I've taken it to random strangers on Tumblr!

There's only one work in the series right now, but I'm currently working on another and have many more ideas sitting in a doc, waiting to be written! I'll also take requests if anyone has any (which I doubt will happen but anything's possible I guess), but before I post any more, I'd really like to get some feedback from... someone, I guess. I dunno I just really want to do them justice 😭

Anyways, that's all! Sorry that this was so long and probably annoying to read, I just thought it'd be funny but now I don't even know aldkdsfljk- but I'm leaving it like this because why not I guess

[whoopsitswincest]

For me, the thing i love about wincest is the love.

like,,--

Okay. So. Back when i was young and naive and new to tumblr/fandoms, i was so confused about the concept of shipping just for hot, smutty sexual dynamics vs shipping for romantic/loving reasons. I remember exploring posts about Game of Thrones on tumblr and stumbling across the Ramsay Bolton/Theon Greyjoy ship (for the blissfully unaware, in canon the former brutally tortures the latter in cold blood). I was at a complete loss for how anyone could ship those two, because all I saw in their interactions was sociopathic cruelty and miserable trauma. I didn't realize that the BDSM vibes were sexy for some people. It was the first time in my life (I was like 22 lol) that I realized that you could ship characters just because you think the sex would be hot as fuck. And I get that. But for me, I've never been able to ship someone unless I can see the love in canon.

So. Bringing it back to our beloved brothers. At first I thought wincest was just one of those sexy ships, not romantic ships. Because both characters are tall and jacked and hot and badass and violent. And I used to be an anti because I was like "but they're brothers?? Ew??" But THEN you actually WATCH the show (or in my case, rewatch) and you see the way they interact with each other. They love each other so much. Like LOVE love. They will do anything for each other. They will die for each other, kill for each other and go to the ends of the earth for each other. Nothing matters more than each other.

I was talking to my wife about the crazy shit these brothers are willing to do for each other and she goes, "i mean, that's how i feel about you." And i'm like YES! EXACTLY! I have a younger brother. My wife has two older brothers. But neither of us feel about our brothers the way we feel about each other. She is my great love. She is my forever. She is my everything. And Dean and Sam's relationship looks way more like my relationship with my wife than my relationship with my brother.

Yes, they can be codependent and possessive and toxic. Yes, they've been through some fucked up shit and they've DONE some fucked up shit (to EACH OTHER) and yeah that could make for some really hot sex. But for me, the appeal of wincest is the deep, abiding care and devotion they have for each other. The LOVE!! It makes me crazy.

A caveat:

I also love the dynamic between sam and dean just as canon gencest or platonic soulmates (that's for another post, lol). And there's something to be said about society's prioritization of romantic/sexual relationships over all other and the lack of representation of healthy platonic relationships in media (especially among men).

But i'm allosexual and alloromantic. So for me, my love for my wife is very romantic and includes an important sexual aspect. So because Dean and Sam remind me of me and my wife, of course i'm gonna project a sexual relationship onto that.

[lilly-onthevalley]

Tips for my girlies in university and early work

I decided to make this post based on what has made my life easier these past few years. Every woman wants to cultivate beauty; make themselves put together, be taken seriously, and find a partner who is equally yoked if you're into that. As an old tumblr girl shifting in and out of the scene, I wanted to make another tip post like the old times that's accurate to what helped me.

A lot of the older/retired girlie's where amazing advisors, however one thing that created a barrier was that they were were endowed with large wealth and their society paved a path for them, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, I love to see it actually. I wanted to make a post looking back to what has helped me make my own steps to now be able to utilise the old girl's advice as it was supposed to.

Hair

Learning a basic blow out is necessary. If you're starting out, you don't need all of the fancy brands, and you'll notice that technique is what differentiates the quality of a blowout. Get a good round brush that conducts heat well, mid range but reliable (Babyliss) blow driers, flat irons, and curling rod. Invest in a heat protectant too. Sweet talk the hair dressers and ask where they get their stock from. Get yours hands on some pro hair sheers to get your own trims and layers going.

Silk scrunchies and pillow cases are an underrated and feminine must-have. I'm a lazy girl who always has a silk press if my hair is out and I can get away with collapsing onto a silk pillowcase with no head wrap and still manage to have a lovely style in the morning. I would say order these from a small business. Many girls have businesses dealing with small textile projects like scrunchie packs and average size pillow cases, support them! :)

Learn to do your own cornrows and invest in a half wig especially if you're busy with classes and don't have time for the whole round brush ordeal.

Don't be scared of wigs, and don't be ashamed of not having enough time to pull off a dazzling natural masterpiece. There's a reason why wigs are in high demand from women of all races. People are all over busy. You can start with a natural synthetic and move on to better hair.

I learnt the art of hair when I was 15, so I've been doing it for a while. However, because of this, I can tell you the importance of having a lovely crown on your head. I have received hundreds (not joking) of compliments from years, whether my hair was real or fake, and that shows how important it is for a first impression.

Nails/Feet

Don't forget to take care of them. Walking all the miles, wearing the mandated courts, sitting in one place. You will indeed develop calluses, perhaps even athletes' foot and hyperpigmentation from a lack of circulation.

Get yourself a basic pumice stone or a scrubber and use them when need. Massage yourself as well to maintain mobility and flexibility.

If you can, get yourself an affordable gel set. It might seem a bit expensive, but it'll save you the time and money of the upwardly costly nail appointments. You'll find out when you get up and socialise more that what tops the cake of classy is a glossy basic nail. Natural nudes and whites are always a go to.

Scent

Scent connoisseurs are going to absolutely hate me for this, but girlie's, if you can't get that Jean Paul Gaultier or Baccarat Rouge, get the damn arabic fragrance. Back in high-school when me and my girls were starting up, setting ourselves apart and getting invited to important places, Lattafa was our favourite. Social media is currently finally going crazy for them. (The African/Arab girls got them first 🤭.) I loved my floral Haayati with a mix of Zakra (other brand, heavy masculine oud tones for my peace of mind), and my best girl loved her gourmand Yara and her vanilla oils.

I love to talk about fragrance because it talks first for you. Nothing is better than a delicious light smell accompanying your presence. It shows you hold yourself to some esteem.

Skin

Face Essentials - gua sha stone, gentle cleanser, exfoliating cleanser or serum, sunscreen, thick moisturising butter, anti fungal or bacterial essential oil, lip moisturiser, clean cloth.

These will help you start out on a basic level to having healthy looking skin. Exfoliating is very important towards a glow. When you're stuck working with a bright light in your face, soaking up the harsh morning air full of car exhaust, sweating as the hours go by - what will make the difference is making sure that you get rid of that excess dead skin every 3-7 days.

Gua sha is amazing for getting rid of the stress if you clench your jaw during moments of stress. Say you have to present an assignment or address and debate a crowd, that takes a tole on the jaw and the facial muscles. Using a gua sha is great for ironing those knots and that tension out.

On the topic of massage, spas can be unaffordable at times, time is could also be a problem. Get into a habit of using every minute you have. That 5 minutes that you sit and doom scroll on tik tok, take out a wood tool, grab a moisturiser, and press those muscles to release built-up tension. Taking care of the vehicle you have is so important. Your body and mind are separate but complimentary. Take care of her, and she will take care of you. Don't forget that every second, she's pumping the blood that facilitates your social meetings and work hours.

When it comes to body, get yourself exfoliating mits or an abrasive rag. Once again, exfoliation, exfoliation, exfoliating. It's great for blood flow and circulation as well as moving your muscles and tissues that may be constantly seditary from a desk.

Dry brushing is something I also swear by. Once again, absolutely wonderful for circulation and waking the skin up.

Get yourself a foam roller... I press such an emphasis on these tools that stimulate the muscles because we often forget how much our bodies are taking multiple hits from working. Joint issues are something that's prevalent when you're a working girl, coming straight out of high-school and going into the world outside the home of your care taker. Roll those legs out, release that back into the grooves. It makes a world of difference!

Clothing

I loved to dress like a blank canvas back in my early days when I decided I want to make something of myself. Nothing beats good denim pants and a white t-shirt. Especially when you're starting out and want to begin establishing outfits for everyday, you'll notice the blank canvas approach will prevent you from looking crazy on crazy days. Stock up on 3 white tees, white and blue jeans, yoga pants, well fitting good quality skin tone lingerie, a belt, a watch, some fake pearls, black or white dress, a ring and a necklace and my all time favourite, a pair of shades.

Ugh, I can't get enough of combinations like this. I grew up and was educated by women who followed this but fancied it up with a bold Goyard St Louis, a 3 stone engagement ring with a gold band, a local pure and heavy polished silver bracelet and some Loro Pianas. Absolutely gorgeous women, who knew how to constantly present themselves as nothing less than reliable, stylish and beautiful.

You might say that, 'Omg Lilly, that's so boring', that's not the point here 😂. As a green girl with a good head on your shoulders, you're going to get a lot of new opportunities. Whether it's internships, parties, socials with the girls or the guys, dates, fund raisers, club representative workshops, you're going to be expected to show up well and put together. Say you have a social evening at a club house, in the morning you have an internship and the next day you have to manage and represent your society. Those 3 white shirts paired with a rotation of basic bottoms and versatile shoes will make things a lot easier for you especially if you're starting out in a foreign country where you don't know what is to be worn exactly.

Makeup

Those who have known me are well aware that I'm a retired goth girl and was killing it with the cut crease and James Charles tutorials back in the day. Makeup is something that has seamlessly became part of my life. Unfortunately or fortunately, I grew out of that creative phase and started wondering what actually makes my natural features and face pop. What presents me as healthy, bright, and hyper-feminine (in contrast to the basic clothing)

I came up with the recipe of 'Biology' makeup. Blush because it signifies healthy blood flow and interest in the person you're interacting with. Healthy full eyebrows, non-matte evenly toned skin with naturally bronzed dimensions. A healthy hydrated pink lip. Some extras are a little liner to enhance the eye, flirty lashes from carefully applied mascara and/or lashes and some depth and glitter to draw attention at the eyes.

Very basic, very safe, very attractive, very reliable. This is a routine that can be executed within 8 minutes.

Moisturiser -> sunscreen base -> full coverage foundation or concealer watered down with sunscreen to make it more glowy and allow the natural dimensions of the face to peer through->bronzer/darker powder-> semi heavy blush combined with some loose banana powder to calm down the concelar-> light wing-> lashes-> wipe the lips and eyebrows-> fill both in and end with a natural colour applied to both.

Inspo below

E.T.C

Other important notes:

Yoga, cardio and pilates to maintain mobility, lubricate those joints, crack those bones back into place. Sweat is amazing to get those toxins, lose a bit of unnecessary weight, blow off steam, improve skin health, get your blood pumping and much more.

Save your money, all these things are meant to make life simpler for you so you are in a place where you are investing into things that are truly important like rent, food, tuition, remittances, dental work, medical aid, insurance, etc till you have someone who could assist with that :)

Remember to keep a balanced diet. Oh lord, when I went out to a new country, thank god I was young, but I became close friends with the local McDonald's and knew all of the door dash delivery men by name. Please, for the love of God, buy your fresh food and meal prep. The temptation is so real after a long night, to drop a bunch of pounds or euros on a quarter pounder and some zinger wings but it will not nourish you to survive another active day with decent cognition and drive. Especially if you were living alone and stressing out about making your own path, don't feed the delivery demon. You'll lose useful money, and mess your hormones up.

Instead to reward yourself, buy your place some flowers. If you want to eat go to a restaurant which serves whole food. Buy some new fancy stationery, party, get a spa or cosmetic treatment that you've been wanting, travel or take a train to somewhere scenic! Perhaps I'm too harsh but addiction to quick fixes is real when you first drop into a state of independence whether it's financially or physically. Don't abuse it by splurging. Understand moderation through strict monitoring then after a while, go get that Wingstop or whatever after knowing how to access real food and that it's an affordable and doable option first! (me and my guy friends literally never ate any real food for a month straight while gallivanting in Europe because we were so codependent on Taco Bell and used our lack of knowledge of the city as an excuse to take the easy way out 🤣.)

If you can do something really well, make a mini business out of it.

Network, network, network. Ask questions, ask for opportunities, get numbers and business cards.

Self defense starter kit (Google it according to the laws of your nation)

Lastly, make friends, call family, volunteer at an animal shelter every now and then to remind you of what love is 😂 because in the fast paced assimilation into new environments, you do forget and only notice when suddenly you're sadder than usual, and have anxiety during basic interactions.

⭐️

[libbytwq]

hey can i be sappy for a moment, i feel like getting a thing off my chest (positive vent)

I love you all in the SMG4 Tumblr community so much. Y'all are absolutely epic and amazing and so creative and just. chill.

I've always been so nervous about joining set fandoms/fandom communities, cuz usually the community is huge and overwhelming, toxic, scary, crazy, and the idea of being in those communities and interacting with people in those communities and being in there not just to post a dingle fanart from it and dip, but to help be a big part of the community and whatnot sounded... overwhelming.

Then I slowly began getting super hyperfixated on SMG4, much more than I usually am, leading me to post more about it. Fanart, things I notice, goofy theories... more than just me saying a couple things i like about it, posting a fanart, then moving onto something else.

I started kinda just exploring the SMG4 tags and gradually, I began recognizing most of the people in this community more and more -- recognizing art styles, etc. I noticed how small a community it was.

And it was a mostly chill community. I wasn't really seeing much drama or questionable things, maybe some criticisms about the show or theories or whatever, but nobody was at each others throats. Plus, the fan OCs were super neat.

I had begun posting more and more SMG4 content, drawing fanart, their OCs, and the fact people were so just... chill and welcoming about it was so nice. It wasn't nearly as scary -- we are all just vibing here. Most of the artists you look up to will probably see your work, and give it attention too.

It feels super strange to be considered an SMG4 Tumblr artist, having people literally enjoying the things I make and making things for me when they make things for SMG4 fanartists... its honestly super surreal. But so so exciting and euphoric.

Cuz yall are so awesome!! Yall make my day so bright. Yall are the best.

I'll be honest, when I first was slowly being a part of the SMG4 community -- sometime right after summer vacation began -- I had been dealing with some petty but difficult irl person issues.

I don't want to get into it too much, but I had basically messed up in a pretty bad way (enough to make me feel bad the moment I did it, but not enough that we couldn't move on and mature from it), and the people involved were hurt worse than I thought they were, and instead of trying to talk it out they resorted lying about being my friends for months before school ended, and over summer break, tried to cancel one of my Scratch account and drag my followers there into drama that they had no business being in, for the simple reason being "you don't deserve all that fame".

Despite their attempt at trying to cancel me not really working out very well, it very much affected me negatively and made me very very scared about using Scratch again. I still post projects there sometimes, but i felt weird when i do it. I felt like those people were watching my every move, waiting to try and drag me down again. It felt so strange and scary to feel like the people I once cared so deeply about are breathing down my neck, waiting for me to make another wrong move and add it to their proof of why I'm an awful person.

It sucks ass.

The SMG4 community here on Tumblr, despite none of you knowing I was going through anything at all, you all helped a lot. Just existing.

Being a welcoming community that I feel safe to be silly and normal in.

I've never been the best at expressing appreciation, but let me just say:

I think of you all so highly and I never want you to change.

Keep making silly art. Or fanfics. Or AUs. Or OCs. Or whatever you like doing in this tiny close-knit fandom.

Keep doing everything you're doing to make this community mean so much to me.

❤️❤️❤️

...this sounds like im leaving the community,, IM NOT I just wanted to get it off my chest cuz ive been experiencing the emotions™ yknow, sorry that its not like my regular posts lol, im not gonna post like this much LMAOOO

TL;DR: yall are fuckin awesome please keep being awesome forever and ever ily bye

[genericpuff]

I'm curious - how many unanswered asks do you have in your inbox? Or do you just delete the ones you don't plan on answering?

do you feel good anon

do you feel good about yourself with this question

targeting me like that

geeeeez

ok but more seriously LMAO i have an embarrassingly large amount of unanswered asks but i do read all of them <3 a lot of them honestly are just from folks like, sharing their anonymous opinions about either LO and LR, with the odd one about comic advice, sharing webtoon recommendations, and other things of that nature!

In the case of the LO asks, it's stuff that often has already been spoken about at length before so I don't really have anything to add (but trust me, I'm usually in total agreement, if I heavily disagree with a take I'll usually try to respond to it but it's rare that that's the case because most of the takes are just things like "wow the art in this panel sucks" like yep it sure do LOL) and often it just feels like my inbox is just like, a comment box for people to get their feelings out anonymously and honestly that's fine, I just also can't really respond to every single one unfortunately, but I do read them and I love y'all's takes!

With LR asks, y'all are way too sweet to me and send me just the kindest things about LR, and I hope y'all know that even if I wind up not getting back to your ask about it, I do read everything you send and appreciate so much the amount of support you've all shown for this project since I took it on <3 A lot of those asks are literally my version of "do it for her" where I read them and it reminds me of why it's so worth doing what I do :') <3

Whenever people recommend me other works to read, I add them to a list and I am currently trying to tackle it :) (honestly that list isn't as big as you'd think, a lot of the recommendations are for the same stuff, like other Greek myth retelling comics or otherwise just bad webtoons that people want me to suffer thru LOL) I just recently finally got a physical copy of Song of Achilles and while it's slow going, I'm gonna be sharing my extended thoughts about it, either in a big Tumblr post or maybe a video if I can motivate myself to do it 🤔

And of course, the comic advice asks... these ones admittedly I do tend to actually move into my drafts because I really, REALLY do want to respond to them, but I'm also not someone to half-ass responses to questions like that. That is a bit of a bad habit on my end because it often means I'm spending crazy amounts of time going over topics that can be researched, but I also just really love talking about comics so it doesn't feel good to get a comic advice ask and just leave it at "idk just start" like yeah, do that, but also I want to pass on all the things I WISH I had known when I was first starting out and I'm glad people see me as someone to learn those things from! So when it comes to those asks, don't worry, I'm picking away at them <3 (but also man, I should probably just like... put together some kind of hitchhiker's guide to comic making or something huh LOL)

Anyways! I do have a lot of unanswered asks and honestly, I'm not really one to delete them, even if I don't get back to some of them it is still nice to read them in their own little curated space separate from my main blog, it's kind of like a personal comment section between myself and those of you who took the time to write <3 The only asks I tend to outright delete are ones that are just like, way too bad faith to even want to give any attention to, or bot spam lmao But for the majority of y'all who have sent genuine asks to my inbox and never saw a response and worry that I might have ignored it or deleted it, I hope you can have reassurance in knowing that they are all still there and even if I can't make time every day to respond to them, receiving all your personal takes about LO and your amazing feedback and kind words about LR is something I'm always excited to see whenever that little notification pops up in my Inbox tab. I see you and appreciate you <3

[pricetagged]

Well, I'm posting knight!simon part ii today (if the stupid tumblr app stops glitching on me 🙃🙃). I've been sitting on it since October, not happy with it, always talking about it, so enough is enough.

I feel like if I don't post it I'll drive myself crazy and not find time for my other projects. I also think, that it would be nice to complete my first ever cod fic by the end of this year. Just makes sense to me.

Anyway, it's done. I'll release it to the wild. Hopefully, it finds a home somewhere.

Moodboard under cut just because