#probably way too sweet and romantic at idk im not happy but hey

[pricetagged]

Well, I'm posting knight!simon part ii today (if the stupid tumblr app stops glitching on me 🙃🙃). I've been sitting on it since October, not happy with it, always talking about it, so enough is enough.

I feel like if I don't post it I'll drive myself crazy and not find time for my other projects. I also think, that it would be nice to complete my first ever cod fic by the end of this year. Just makes sense to me.

Anyway, it's done. I'll release it to the wild. Hopefully, it finds a home somewhere.

Moodboard under cut just because

[heartsoji]

WHO WOULD CONFESS FIRST

pairings: bokuto x reader, kenma x reader, akaashi x reader, atsumu x reader, osamu x reader, iwaizumi x reader, suga x reader (separate)

overview: would you or the hq boy confess first?

warnings: a lot of abbreviations used, aged up in iwa's, mentions of drinking in iwa's, mild swearing

BOKUTO KOUTARO

bokuto!

pls there's no way he wouldnt

he'd literally probs cry and force u to take it back if u did

i think his confession would be very cute and heartwarming

he'd probs come with some classic red roses, a cute teddy bear, and just tell u straight up that he likes you

"hey, y/n. yk, i feel like we've known each other for a while now, and i think ur a rlly amazing person, yk? i just wanted to tell you that i like you now, and its totally up to you if you do too and wanna take this somewhere." or smth. it would have the same mood and tone as when he was talking with akaashi outside after his first nationals match about how he was reflecting on his last 3 years of hs vb if u remember that scene

he'd probs be a bit nervous and a little sheepish bc he's honestly rlly scared to lose you

it wouldn't be in public, but it wouldn't be in total private either. probably somewhere like a park or smth while ugs r out and about

he'd be the happiest guy in the world if u said yes (why wouldn't u)

he'd drop the roses and teddy and pull you into a rib-crushing bear hug and spin you around laughing

pls hes such a sweetie

KOZUME KENMA

either

mmm i could rlly see it going either way

bc on one hand, i don't rlly see kenma as the type to want to confess bc he'd probs feel uncomfy with it

but on the other hand, he's bsfs with kuroo soo

if you confessed he'd probably shyly accept it and try to bite back the stupidly wide grin trying to form on his face and he'd be very cute and flustered

now if he confessed

lets see

if kuroo let him do it his own way but still made him do it, kenma would def choose somewhere private

the most likely scenario is that he'd probs give u a short and sweet confession whilst ugs r playing a video game or watching smth

he probs wouldn't bring a gift, but there's a chance he'd bring chocolate!

it would be very subtle, sweet, and kenma-like

now

if kuroo played a good hand in this

it would probs get screwed up

bc kenma would think kuroos idea was stupid but kuroo went on with his own idea

what i think would probs happen is kuroo would like put letters and flowers in ur locker and pretend to be kenma or smth and then be like "come to the rooftop -ur secret admirer" but then he forgets to tell kenma to go to the rooftop and everything is screwed up

ORR he makes u and kenma go to like an amusement park or smth but then kenma hates it so ugs leave and he confesses to u on the walk home or smth

his confession wouldn't be very long. "i like you." "huh?" (no reply) "kenma, do you mean that?" "yeah."

LOLL

kuroo is a 0/10 wingman

AKAASHI KEIJI

akaashi!

he's a very traditional gentleman

he'd bring some sort of symbolic flower with nice meanings like pink camellias, red chrysanthemums, dahlias, gardenias, etc paired with white baby's breaths

i could also just see him going with roses bc they're classic

he'd take you somewhere nice

a nice restaurant or a hilltop picnic, maybe

it would honestly probs be on valentines day or some other date that he liked the sound of (like 1/11 or smth. he wanted it to be a pretty-sounding date)

he'd plan everything out very carefully and it would be so romantic

"y/n... ur the most beautiful girl i've ever met. you're sweet, kind, thoughtful, and you make me so happy. when i'm with you, i forget about all my worries and im able to just be myself, and for that, i truly thank you. y/n, you make me a better person. will you be my valentine?"

when you accepted, he'd let out a sigh of relief and gently hold your hand and whisper a soft "thank you" that gives u so many butterflies

very romantic and very well thought-out

MIYA ATSUMU

you!

this might be a tad bit controversial

idk i just feel like he's never confessed before and doesn't even know how

he'd be scared to lose u and scared that he'll be rejected and his pride will be wounded

the most likely scenario i can think of is this:

on valentines day, you, his bsf, put a love letter along with some candy on his desk

ofc he doesn't see it or read it bc he gets so many that he doesn't rlly read them if he doesn't recognize the name, and u didn't put ur name on the envelope

later that day, ugs r walking together and just chatting when the topic of love letters and valentines stuff comes up

and at some point, u casually mention that u gave someone a love letter to someone

bro literally chokes on his drink and his heart drops to someone

"WHO"

"hmm.. idk if i should tell u"

"TELL MEEEE IM UR BSFFF"

"idk.. should i rlly?"

"Y/NNNN"

"fine, u big baby. i'll give u a hint. they're on the volleyball team."

"HUH? WHO IS IT? IS IT KITA? ARAN? wait don't tell me its suna? OHMIGOSH IS IT SAMU? NO PLS DONT TELL ME ITS SAMU"

"its not."

"oh thank god. who is it?"

"you."

"HUH"

yeah

he tries to play it cool but hes literally so flustered and its so obvious

when he accepts he tries to keep up the cool act but at some he just abandons it and swoops u up into a rlly giddy happy hug

hes a big dorky baby rlly, but hes ur big dorky baby ig

MIYA OSAMU

osamu!

he'd confess with food bc duh

food is the way to the heart

im still deciding on whether he'd make chocolates or just like onigiris or smth but im kinda leaning towards onigiris bc it just seems more him

he'd make some rlly good chocolate tho

either way, it'd be pretty chill

"here." *hands onigiri to u*

"huh? what's this for?" *takes a bite* "thanks tho."

"y/n, i like you."

*almost chokes* "huh?"

"r u serious?"

"dead serious."

"like r u actually being fr?"

"so fr."

"r u sure ur not playing w/ me?"

"u never shut up, do ya?"

and then he kisses u on the lips to shut up, catching u off guard

"i'm a pretty damn good cook. that's fuckin amazing"

"TF"

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

you!

tbh at first i thought iwa but after giving it a little more thought, i don't think he would ( i can imagine a few scenarios in which he would, but i feel its a bit unlikely! )

he rlly treasures ur friendship, and losing it would be his literal worst nightmare

bro had no intention of ever revealing it tbh

if you confessed, he'd probs honestly just play it rlly cool bc hes genuinely so effortlessly like dominant its so ADJHHDAAH

HOWEVER i love the idea of iwa confessing ( i don't think he would but uh i want him to) so i thought up a lot of scenarios i could see happening, but the one i'm the most satisfied with is this:

him picking up his phone at 4am in the morning to here your drunk ass mumbling abt some shit he can't remember but his car is under repairs so he runs to pick you up

he arrives quickly and when you see him, you run and jump into his arms, giddily drunk

he carries you back on his back, and at some point, you drunkily mumble how you like him (ig even in this u ended up confessing first lol)

he mumbles how he does too, but decides to wait until you're sober to address it

when you're sober the next day, he confronts you

"hey, so uh, y/n?"

"yeah?"

"yesterday... when u were drunk, u... said some stuff."

"oh gosh. what embarrassing shit did i say this time?"

"you said that you liked me."

"oh."

then there's the awkward process of "did u mean it?" "yeah." "oh ok. i like u too"

then yay! couple!

sweet

SUGAWARA KOSHI

suga!

it'd be a very classic high school confession

he'd ask u to meet somewhere private, special, or sentimental/significant to ugs

rosy-eared, he'd ask u to be his gf nervously

super super happy when u say yes

this one's short bc i've alr talked abt it in a diff post. it's the falling in love w/ sugawara koshi one :) go check it out!

[judeiscariot]

hey! feel free to delete the shit out of this ask, i just wanted to tell SOMEONE and maybe get some advice, i respect your opinions sooo idk gimme ur 2 cents if u feel like it. if not just wipe it out cause i’m mostly just trying to sort out my thoughts anyway.

sooooo basically, i’m in a good and healthy relationship that’s been going for over a year. he’s really in love with me and as far as i can tell i’m in love with him too. my issue is that i have a really hard time with long term commitment, and he’s an extremely committed person. i don’t have my life figured out yet. i don’t know most of my identity past the fact that i’m gay.

with that out of the way. i think i’m in love with my best friend.

lots of extraneous circumstances led to us spending a lot more time around each other, and now all i want to do is be around him. i don’t want to do ANYTHING else, straight up. i’d rather spend time with him than sleep. but i’m also extremely ADHD and off meds, and i have a history of getting weirdly obsessed with people bc of that, so i’m not convinced that this isnt just a temporary thing. i also am pretty convinced i might be polyamorous, but i’ve never had the chance to try that out, so i genuinely don’t know.

i can’t end a year and a half long relationship because i might be having feelings. but i’m also terrified of the ramifications of any of my other options right now. i feel like i’m walking a tightrope and i don’t know what to do. i’m not cheating on my boyfriend. that’s about as far as i got figured right now.

i also don’t know if this is genuine attraction to my friend or not. i can’t tell. my emotions feel like such a muddy swamp and im just stuck in the damn current. im not having the greatest time with it. can’t focus on anything at all in my life.

i don’t know what the point of sending this is, and i definitely don’t mean to overstep boundaries or anything. i just can’t tell anyone in my life or even send this off anon because my friend group is so tight knit. it would make everything awful and awkward if any of them found out any of this. i just don’t know what to do.

love you, you’re one of my favorite blogs on this app. sorry for writing you an essay that isn’t even about mcr or the bible. maybe i’ll do that next time.

hi!! it’s sweet of u to ask my opinion although i’m definitely no expert on this stuff but i can for sure give u my thoughts.

before i start i’ll just go ahead and say that obviously i don’t know you or your life so definitely take any advice i give with a grain of salt, i can just tell you how i’d probably go about handling the situation if it was me.

obviously having commitment issues makes long term relationships really difficult, especially if the other person is especially comfortable with commitment. as someone who also struggles with commitment i think those issues can sometimes make us subconsciously look for ways out of committed relationships, whether romantic or otherwise, even if thats not what we actually want. like you could be happy in a healthy and loving relationship and your brain will still try to tell you to push the other person away / seek ways out of the relationship. this may not be your situation but i know that’s something i’ve experienced before and something i see pretty commonly in people with commitment issues. however not having your life together can also make committing in relationships really difficult - for some people being in a loving relationship helps them with figuring out their identity, and for others it inhibits them from exploring in the ways they need to to really get to know themselves. again, this is a purely case by case basis type of thing and since i don’t know you personally i can’t tell you where you fall on that scale. if you feel that being in this relationship is inhibiting your personal growth or that you can’t really get to know yourself while in a relationship with this person then that might be a sign. it could also very well be a right person wrong time kinda thing - you could absolutely still be in love with your boyfriend and just simply not in a place in your life that would allow you to thrive in a relationship with him.

as for the whole being in love with your best friend thing, that is something i do have an inordinate amount of experience with lmfao. i also definitely feel you on the whole getting super obsessed with / attached to certain people thing although for me it’s more a symptom of BPD not ADHD. having feelings or thinking you might have feelings for a close friend is a notoriously difficult situation to solve and for me in the past the best option has honestly and truly been to just wait it out. pay attention to the way you feel around your friend and if you see those feelings shifting or changing at all. it could be a temporary thing, like you said, and upsetting the balance you already have with this person for temporary feelings would obviously be a less than ideal situation. and with thinking you might be poly, i think that kinda circles back to the whole deal of figuring out your identity while in a long term relationship. like i said i don’t know you or your boyfriend, but if you think it would be worth it to see if he would be cool with trying out an open relationship then having a conversation with him about that could be be constructive.

i really think communication is key in pretty much every human relationship ever. it might be worth talking to your boyfriend about how you feel, not necessarily the possibility of having feelings for your friend, but more so your hesitance towards commitment and unsureness about your identity. at the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide if this is a relationship that you’re able to grow in, and if it’s not then it might not be one worth staying in. HOWEVER like i said i don’t know you or your boyfriend personally and ultimately i'm just Some Guy From Tumblr so i’m not gonna just like outright tell you you should break up with him or anything. but if i were you i'd strongly consider having a sit down conversation with him.

and like i’ve said, take all my advice with a grain of salt, i’m more than happy to give it but i’m definitely no type of expert! you’re also welcome to dm me any time if you want someone to talk to and i wish you nothing but the best trying to figure everything out <3 and for future reference essays about mcr and / or the bible are ALWAYS welcome in my inbox lol

[bakibakini]

✦ first kisses with the swedes ( tua ) ✦ headcanons

pairings : axel x reader ; otto x reader ; oscar x reader

genre : fluff 

notes : yea ik my life is going downhill ... ik ik .... but i love them so much im lich rally making commission ocs to ship w them N  E ways , no one asked for this except for my heart,,,, the swedes live rent free in my mind so pls send req 4 them

✧˖*°࿐

axel : 

it’s true that axel is a very tactical , put - together man , and upon first glance one might even say that he’s scared of nothing , he can do everything . including knowing the ins and outs of physical affection .

unfortunately ... that’s wrong . he may not show it , but he’s quite awkward when it comes to physical affection . not shy or anything , he’s just ... clueless . 

in all his life , especially after joining the commission , he didn’t really think he’d need to be physically affectionate with anyone , but then you came along and he’s honestly like ??? 

he relies on you to show him the ropes ! ( if anyone asks i may or may not write some stuff up abt how he shows his love in other ways but u have to ask 🤭🤭 ) 

he gets the hang of hugs , and cuddles , and other forms of affectionate touches pretty quickly , and because he’s so observant , he can usually tell just from the way you glance at him when you want him to hold you ( granted it’s not in public , he’s not a big fan of pda ) . 

kissing is another story though - you’re like super 🥺👉👈 when it comes to axel , so you’re a bit too shy to kiss him , whereas he honestly doesn’t know when to do it ??? he’s seen a few silly romance movies where people kiss in really romantic settings , but he can’t really do that ( at least not now ; because of work ) , so he doesn’t do anything , thinking the time and place has to be very specific .

that is until ... one particular time - 

whether you’re in the commission or not , because you’re close to axel , you’re bound to get mixed up to some extent , and one day you get too mixed up for his liking . 

you get injured , not badly ( because if you were badly injured , axel would not waste a second trying to get you help ) , but enough to get axel riled up . after he’s taken care of the threat , you try to reassure him that you’re fine , but your voice quickly gets lost in your throat , as axel discards his weapons and runs up to hold you , pressing his lips against yours right after . 

it happens so quickly ; you’re honestly more shaken up by the kiss than the fact that you were just attacked . it’s so passionate , and desperate , his arms wrapped around you tightly making it even more deep .

not gonna lie , your knees go a little weak - 

once he pulls away he practically shoves your face to his chest , then kisses the top of your head , and you’re all like : 0000

he doesn’t need to speak for you to know he was scared ( you may have been grateful for that though , the kiss was nice !! )

you make a mental note of asking for more kisses later and after that spur of the moment need to have you so close to him , he's 100% sure he can kiss you any time you're alone .

✧˖*°࿐

otto : 

he’s just a huge teddy bear idk what you’re talking about -

otto is so whipped for you , the second you’d get into a relationship is the second he’s all over you ! 

you don’t even need to say anything , he can engage physical affection by himself , cuz he just loves you a lot !!! omg !!! you’re his favorite person !! you bet he’s going to squeeze the soul out of you !!! 

but then comes the time to kiss you and he’s instantly like “ 😶 wait is this real rn ”

he feels like kissing you , really , but suddenly his hands clamp up , his heart starts racing and he can’t move . honestly you can feel him tense up , but you think it’s cute that he gets nervous around you , so you don’t say anything . 

every time he loses his chance to kiss you , he screams internally . you could kiss him , but honestly , you sense his inner distress of not being able to do it by himself , and you kinda wanna see him do it !! mayhaps it’s sadistic of you , but you’re just waiting for him to gather the courage !!! you’re sure he can do it eventually !!! 

it happens when you’re watching a movie , a shitty rom - com to be precise . it was your idea , your little way of teasing him . once the first kiss scene came on , you made sure to sigh wistfully , making a comment about how sweet it was . 

you hadn’t expected him to do anything , for some reason , but next thing you know , he’s leaning over , and kissing you , and you’re absolutely gone . you’re so surprised , you can’t even hold in a muffled yelp of surprise . it prompts him to place his hand on your shoulder ( he doesn’t want you to run away , but him squeezing your shoulder probably doesn’t help !! )

after he pulls away , you’re just staring at each other , both dumbfounded .

“ o - otto !! y - you - ” you whine , and groand , and plop your head against his chest to obscure your blushing face . the sight of you being all cute makes him calm down , and pull you closer . 

in conclusion , he’s more babie than he looks . 

✧˖*°࿐

oscar : 

he’s not initiating it , he’s way too baby . he’s so !!! baby !!!!!!! he’s horrified !!!!!!!! ( not of you obviously , but of showing affection first ) 

take him by the hand , hug him , pull him into your chest for a change ; anything to ease him into your relationship . granted you’re not just as shy , you find it endearing . he’s just so 🥺🥺🥺 and you’re so happy to be with him ( even if it frustrates you that he’s still to shy to just take your damn hand !! ) 

he asks his brothers for advice and they just make fun of him , let’s be real . it’s only because they’re both disasters , too .

you love him so so much , but you're fed up , so it's time to take matters into your own hands , sweetie !

you decide it's going to be quick , right before he and his brothers leave for another assignment so he wouldn't have the time to dwell on it .

they're all getting ready as you tip-toe your way closer to oscar , offering him a wide smile , eyebrows scrunched in inevitable worry for his safety , even though you know he can very well take care of himself .

" hey , oscar , " you start , successfully getting his attention . the moment he turns to you , you're quick to give him a short kiss on the lips . " take care ! "

oscar.exe stopped working

it takes him a minute to realize what just happened , but once he does , he nods frantically .

on the way to their assignment , oscar can't stop thinking about that little kiss and promises himself to try and ask you for another one . after officially seeing the magic , this mans wants more , even if he's still a little shy about it --

[profoundpidgeon]

✨Haikyu Headcanon(s) of the Evening! ✨

Author's Note: These are just lil' roomate headcanons I came up with cause I just wanted some so I decided to make some! Anyways this is a part 1 out of 2 (I think and hopefully) and as always I hope y'all enjoy! 😊 ~Pidge

Miya Atsumu:

• God this chaotic bastard where do I even start

• Well let's just say you were looking for a roomate and stuff and welp he took the opportunity and idk why but you accepted him (I guess he checked all the boxes for you congrats🎉🎉🎉)

• Now actually LIVING with him can either be a pain in the ass or quite enjoyable

• He gets up at a decent time, early for volleyball (maybe 7-8am) but SLEEPS IN when he doesn't have to go. (I believe like 2-3pm at times) one time you thought he was dead and almost called the hospital, he almost smacked you for that 🤣

• I see him as not being the apartment that often cause of volleyball but he'll be in the apartment just to chill or just to annoy ur ass if he's bored.

• HE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DESINGNATED MOVIE NIGHTS!!! he also might invite ya know bo, hinata and sakusa but there's sometimes where he just wants to chill with u~

• I believe he's not really a good cook and you would have to make most of the meals or at least remind him to have a decent meal once in a while (if your not a good cook welp... y'all will suffer together I guess)

• He'd be snacking CONSTANTLY I👏SWEAR👏 (This is why ya gotta remind him to have decent meals all the time). I mean there will be nothing in your pantry. It's a literal compition that he wins most of the time to who gets the last packet of pocky. Smh 😑

• I feel like his room would be half messy and half not? Like there would be clothes on the floor but he would make sure to make his bed and his dresser would be a bit messy but not too messy. (Ya know? I hope you get it cause I'm not changing it)

• Please give this man the head pats before volleyball practices (he'll find it cute and if you look close enough you might see him ~blushing~)

Bokuto Koutorou:

• YES ITS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE HIMBO!!! god I LOVE him

• Such a caring man AND WITH SO MUCH RESPECT WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE HIMMM

• anyways

• I hope y'all were friends before you decided to move in together PLEASE SAY YOU WERE (well too bad, I'm the writer, you got no choice in the matter)

• He takes afternoon naps... end of headcanons (no but really when u come back from school or work and he's home before you, you can sometimes hear a soft snore from the couch and you just decide to put a blanket on top of himmm)

• On the contrary of Atsumu, I think he'll be a great cook! I think he'll know how to make 3-4 meals very VERY well and present them to you and be so proud of them. He'll puff out his chest and everything (gosh he's making me so proud just writing this)

• He might once in a while ask you politely if his friends can come over and might borrow the apartment for a while (you'll be out till they leave but hopefully you don't mind)

• If he comes home and he's in his emo mode, you either 1. Call Akaashi or 2. Make him soup and build a blanket fort (it will either be chicken noodle or just some comforting soup... anything to get this baby happy again 😊😊😊)

• This may or might catch you off guard (depending on how close y'all get) but he may ask for random hugs. Just for the sake of it and because I believe he's touch starved and craves physical affection.

• Even tho I said before that he might politely kick you out if he wants to have the home/apartment for the bois, at least PLEASE have some games of chaotic Jenga with them like COME ON (I play chaotic Jenga with my friends all the time and hoooo boi)

• Like Atsumu, he deserves the head pats too! I believe there will be a lot of physical touch/affection in your relationship and it's just so sweet! GAH Y'ALL ARE ADORABLE!

• Anyway, Bokuto Koturou would make a great roomate... MOVING ON

EDIT: Damn I forgot to add that he'll probably join in if you decide to paint your nails. Alright now let's continue!

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

• ngl idk how you became roomates with him but congrats 👌👌👌(I guess by pure chance I guess??? ) anyways...

• Y'all would have assigned cleaning chores of course. If you're having a bad day or not feeling good, he wouldn't mind doing your chores for you and taking care of you.

• Ya know I feel like just doing a puzzle with him so y'all might have some puzzle nights and try to challenge yourselfs after each one you complete.

• LOVES TEA. Will recommend tea and different types of tea to you. Will bring different types of authentic teas into ur apartment and y'all can rate teas together! 🍵🍵🍵

• Not that affectionate but will accept words of affirmation. Really does appreciate a 'thank you' and a genuine compliment once in a while.

• Will remind you to wear a mask outside ALWAYS, he doesn't want you to get sick what can I say?

• Even if it might not look like it, Sakusa does care about you. He will give you those gentle reminders to drink water and eat everyday, say lil' thank yous' here and there and genuinely respects as a person.

ANOTHER EDIT CAUSE I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF APPARENTLY: But ALL of them would in some way sing in the shower:

Atsumu and Bokuto just BELTING without any care or regret (especially bokuto, some of you've seen tiktoks)

And I feel like for Sakusa he would either silently hum or either have a mini conversation with himself (like a lil' podcast or somethin' 😂) ALRIGHT IM DONE IM DONE

Another author's note: This already seems romantic but I meant it in a platonic way. When I make both parts keep in mind the the relationship is platonic! (Don't worry I might make a part where they go from roomates to lovers if I can gather the brain power 😂)

ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! :

https://profoundpidgeon.tumblr.com/post/642970351801958400/haikyuu-headcannons-of-the-evening

HEY LOOK! I MADE A PART 2! I hope y'all enjoy! 💖💕💖

[dazaily]

todoroki bringing his s/o to an amusement part

my first bnha work... kinda nervous posting this cuz like bnha(?) idk,, but for my manz, i will pull through!! hope u enjoy ^^

description: you and todoroki have been dating for awhile now, but recently he realised he never initiates dates, and so he planned and invited u to an amusement park for a date. 

warnings: gender neutral! reader. fluff. clichéd. i wrote this at 4-5am.

* ·    　 ˚  + 　　　 ·    *  ˚ 

my manz is innocent, like lbr, he aint gonna know shiz abt dating..

sooo, the first few weeks into ur relationship(?) he was alr facing his first crisis.

he felt like nothing changed, despite having transitioned from a platonic to romantic relationship.

and so, being the sweet and clueless lil bean he is, he went to seek for advice from his one and only bestie bakugou, midoriya.

“hey, midoriya, what does one do in a relationship” why am i making him talk like someone from the shakespearean era tf

“oh, um todoroki?? are u asking for y/n? if so, i don't think im not the right person u should be asking,, i mean ive never even been in a rela--”

“well, u were my best choice” 

midoriya notices the absolute chaos they are surrounded by in the 1A dorm 

“ok i may be the best choice.” said in tiny.

so after a discussion that dragged for way longer than it had to be 2 days, todoroki settled on the idea of bringing u on a date to the amusement park.

cute idea right? yes. there's no twist, like i said this is a fluff. 

n e ways, he was an awkward lil bby asking u out, cuz he's not used to receiving or giving affection,,,, he's trying his best.

“um, y/n, are u free this sunday..?”

“sunday, hmm i think i alr have smtg planned..”

“oh, um, well then, its fine, its nothing important..”

if u weren't hit by a pang of guilt, idk what type of monster u are.

“nah, that was just jokes, so whats up?”

and that was how y'all ended up in universal studios japan. usj

endeavour’s bout to be big mad when he realises the missing money from his wallet.

“sHOUTOOOOO!!” >:[

n e ways..

so ur date started with u dragging shouto around the entire park, with the goal of riding every single ride 

ofc he was fine with it, he was happy as long as he got to spend time with u. a simp.

but since u guys went on a weekend, there were way more people than u guys originally expected, like wHOA,,, 

the park was basically filled with people from all over the world, even though it wasn't holiday season..

so ur dreams and hopes of riding eery single ride, may be impossible..

hAH, YOU THOUGHT, YOUR MANZ FATHER MAY BE THE WORST PERSON ON EARTH, BUT HES STILL TOP 2 HERO. 

ur manz got u the express pass.

the one time ur grateful for the existence of his father.

so yall spent the first 2-4 hours just riding every single ride u could possibly find. 

shouto’s probably the type that is willing to try anything, i don't think he’ll be scared of any rides in particular. 

in the contrary, i feel like there'll be rides that he's lowkey excited to ride on, since he never had the chance to enjoy these events and places as a child. cuz of his sh*tty father.

he would ofc try to hide his excitement, but after being by his side for awhile, uve learnt how to differentiate his different emotions, despite his general nonchalant self. 

him being excited, makes u happy, cuz its rare that u get to see these sides of him.

omg pls protect him at all costs,, he needs it,,, he's so precious,, shower him with all the love in the world.

so y'all be running all over the place, until hunger slaps u in the face like that isekai truck that ive been waiting for. 

and so its food time!

“hmm, since were in an amusement park, we should get some hot dogs, churros, oMG and cotton candy!!”

“..what? c-ch-churros?? what are those?”

“holy sh-- u don't kNOW WHAT CHURROS ARE!? we’re getting churros right now.”

“but, i want soba... the cold one”

u ended up getting both. cuz it isn't todoroki without cold soba.

and it was back to running around the entire park riding everything.

but instead of running yallz were walking hand in hand, as if u guys were an old couple taking a stroll in the local park

and instead of the entire park, y'all were just in the harry potter section..

don't judge, its cute. and the food did some numbers to ur stomachs, so u were avoiding some rides till u digest ur food. 

while walking around, the sun was setting creating a beautiful scenery. 

wanting this to be a lasting memory, u convinced todoroki to take a photo together. 

u wanted to take an aesthetic couple photo to show off to other people who were trying to steal ur hunk of a man. 

at first u had asked random passerby to help yalls take a photo,, but being the attention-starved lil bby he is, he felt awkward posing in front of random people. 

which led u guys to just set up the camera on a small ledge with a castle in the bg. 

it was then, todoroki had experience a flashback to the conversation that him and midoriya had. 

“hmm, wikihow says that every date has to end in a kiss, for it to be called successful..”

“is this website trustable??”

“it should be.. anyways just do it.”

coming back to reality, todoroki suddenly felt a sense of urgency, the date was coming to an end, and he hasn't kissed u yet,,,,

at that moment, as the timer of the phone camera was reaching 0, with u and ur wide smile posing for the camera

todoroki gently turned ur head to face his, and he had kissed u, for public display.

ur face immediately turned red, but u eventually returned the kiss, after getting over the shock. 

after separating, todoroki was silent, slightly scared and worried of ur reaction(?)

“why didn't u tell me u were going to kiss me~~ u should've told me so i can at least look good in the photo~~”

“..huh? well, um, i just had he sudden urge to do it?” kinda ooc

he was flustered, confused, embarrassed and giddy all at the same time

but the hugest wave of relief came over him, as he began to relax. 

“well we can just take another photo if u don't like it--”

“nO, i like this photo. but im always open for another kiss.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

getting over ur prior embarrassment, u tried flirting with him, returning the bold action he had pulled off earlier. 

“well, i wouldn't reject an offer like that would i..”

surprising u by picking up on the offer u suggested, todoroki gave u another kiss, easily taking ur breathe away.

well, ig this just confirms that wikihow is reliable. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i can't believe i ended a fic with a kiss,, this is the most cop out ending ive written but im way too tired to write properly rn,, 

˚  ˚ . ·   　 * 　 ⋆  * 　

a/n: hihi, so im kinda nervous posting this, cuz thus far i have only done haikyuu works so like??? i feel like i have an overall better understanding of haikyuu characters and their dynamics, but i wanted to write something for my precious icyhot <3 if this piece does well, ill try and write more about bnha characters. hope it was good!!

[apenapaperandadoofus]

Hey idk if I've already sent this but how would V, jumin and zen react when mc is on her period and gets angry very very easily (you accidentally bump into her? Well now you're dead) and then mc gets very sad because she got angry at them and starts crying (I'm like this when I'm on my period and no one comes near me lol it sucks) it's fine it you don't want to do it but if you decide to do it then thank you so much 😊😊😊

OOF GIRL SAME I-

Also imma try a new format hope y’all like it

Zen, Jumin and V reacting to an MC who gets super emotional on her period:

Zen:

So this poor fella has no idea that you’re on your period, and that day, when he came come, he found some delicious candies on the table. He thought, oh well, why not eat one? They look absolutely delicious. Biggest mistake of his life. You came in the kitchen, just in time to find your boyfriend munching on your delicious candies.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN.

You glared at him and Zen immediately froze, midway through the candy. Before Zen could defend himself you very angrily asked him WHY did he eat YOUR candy??? Did he buy it? No??? Then WHY WAS HE EATING IT!

You had been saving that candy since the morning, and after a stressful day decided to eat it while you watched your comfort movies and series that you always binged when you were in your period. It made you so mad that he had taken a bit of candy, and he realized. Zen tried to apologize, over and over but you wouldn’t hear it.

You huffed and quickly ran to your room, banging closed the door.

And that’s when Zen realized, he fucked up.

After a few minutes Zen gently knocked on the door, and you replied with a sort of rude “what.”

“Y/N...I’m sorry I ate your candy without permission. I know how much you love them and to eat them without asking was terrible for me to do. Would you forgive me if I went and bought you some more? And how about I add a snuggle session for later hm? Would that make you happy babe?”

It went quiet. Slowly, you opened the bedroom door and tackled Zen in a big hug. “IM SORRY!” You cried. “I’m just on my period and I’m so emotional today and I just got really mad for no reason, Zenny you’re allowed to eat how many candies you want I’m sorry!”

Zen chuckled and held you tight, telling you it was alright. The rest of the afternoon, the two of you watched TV and ate some of your favorite food, cuddling and giving each other kisses.

Jumin:

He was so busy with work!!!!

You knew that you shouldn’t get mad about something like that, but you couldn’t help but feel neglected! That afternoon you and Jumin were supposed to eat together and watch some movies, Jumin had taken the day off just for that, because you told him he needed to rest. Yet...there he was, locked in his office, on the phone with his coworkers and documents piled up in his desk.

For about the fifth time that day, you gently knocked on Jumin’s door and brought him some food. You were both supposed to be eating together, but that was two hours and a half ago. He must’ve been hungry and you weren’t in the mood for a romantic dinner anymore. Jumin looked up as you placed the plate on his desk, and he grabbed your hand and kissed it, as a thank you.

“I will be done soon, my love.” He whispered, but you knew that he would probably be busy the rest of the day. You shook your head and tried to smile, telling him it was fine.

It also didn’t help that you were in your period. You tried to leave as quick as possible because you didn’t want to be mad at this perfection of a man. It wasn’t his fault and he was doing his best! Yet you still felt way too emotional and you couldn’t help but...feel a bit angry. It was mostly because you knew he was overworking himself, and you felt like he was ignoring your concerns for him...

You went to your bed and laid there, under the mattresses and didn’t come out until you hear a silent knock on the door. “My love..?” Jumin asked, as he went into the room. Slowly you sat up on the bed and Jumin looked at you with guilt all over his face. “I’m so sorry.” He said, after a few minutes of silence. You slowly opened your mouth to tell him that it was alright. You were just worried. But all that came out of your mouth was a pound sob and before you could realize it, tears were streaming down your face. Jumin quickly walked over to you and gave you a hug, and you tightened your grip on him while you sobbed.

“I’m, I’m sorry” you cried. “I just- why are they such assholes, I- you never get to r-rest, and I want to spent t-time with you, but they just w-want you all for themselves, and today w-was supposed to be OUR day, but y-you had to work again, and you al-always d-do you beeeeest”

“Love-”

“AND I, dont w-want to be ungrateful or anything b-because you’re doing so m-much but I don’t want you t-to suddenly collapse because of overworking y-yourself and you d-don’t listen to me, Jumin I don’t want to end up a widow because y-you die from overwork you know?! And I-it’s not fair you ignore me g-getting worried, WAHHHHH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.”

After a few minutes of sobbing, you finally calmed down and wiped your eyes. “I’m sorry Jumin. I know this is not the best way to express myself...but in my defense my hormones are going a bit crazy right now because of my period...”

“You’re on your period?” He asked, and you nodded. Say no more. Jumin immediatly took a whole week off and spent the rest of the time cooking for you, buying you crazy amounts of chocolates, hugging you and kissing you. He knew you were just worried for him and he got why you would be a bit mad because he’s not taking care of himself, after all, he’s the same with you.

The rest of the time you both cuddled and kissed each other, watching your favorite movies and laying in bed till noon.

V:

It had all happened in a flash. But V accidentally threw your chocolate cake on the floor. Your chocolate cake.

YOUR CHOCOLATE CAKE

You immediately gave a yelp and cried, and maybe also yelling at V a bit.

You were in your period, and right now the only thing that could make you feel better was a slice of chocolate cake. But V didn’t make that possible. As soon as you screamed at V “HEY V WHAT THE HELL” and he flinched you immediately feel bad.

V knelt on the floor beside you and tried to pick up the pieces of chocolate cake that he thought maybe you could save.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He said, guiltily. You shook your head and tried not to cry.

“No V don’t apologize...gravity isn’t your fault, and I wasn’t watching my step. Sorry for getting mad.”

“But..I still bumped into you. Sorry.”

“V nO - I JUST SAID IT WASNT YOUR FAULT

“IM SORRYYY”

I’m just kidding lmao

After a thousand apologies, you hugged V and told him that he could make it up by helping you cook some more chocolate cake. That immediatly brightened both of your moods, and you spent the afternoon baking some delicious cake, and cookies, and cupcakes, and more cookies, and making tons and tons of sweet snacks (like torta chilena UFFF ITS DELICIOUS)

V was immediatly pardoned, and honestly who could stay mad at him for that long? You gave him a little peck on the nose and told him that everything was fine and that you were happy. Then you both went out to your little patio and ate your food while watching a beautiful sunset.

[kuroosdumbslut]

Karamatsu x Reader: Quarantine

*self indulgent and probably with lots of bullshit*

You didn’t think much about quarantine until now. It wasn’t that you didn’t think it would happen, no, but it was a syrprise that, since Karamatsu was in your house with you so often he had to be quarantined with you. Considering the age of his parents, you agreed that he would stay with you until the orders were lifted.

“Well, you’re stuck here with me, babe,” you said. Karamatsu hummed, thinking momentarily before a shocked expression appeared. “My dearest, I’m afraid all of my clothing is at my house. Should I run over real quick to grab my things?” You shook your head, giving him a peck on the cheek. “No, love, I called your mom when I found out. One of the brothers will stop by with a box of your things.” The panicked expression got worse and you just chuckled, pressing a few rapid fore kisses to his lips. “Karamatsu, if you think one of them slipping something embarrassing in the box would affect us, I’m afraid to say that you’re still stuck with me. Literally at my house during quarantine and romantically ‘cause i have no intention of breaking up with you.” With that you walked into the litchen and put on a kettle, Karamatsu following behind you like a puppy.

About an hour later, there was a quick series of knocks that forced you from your spot on the couch. “Hold on!” You walked over and opened the door, seeing Choromatsu about six feet from your door. Had it not been for the pandemic and social distancing measures currently enforced, you would have found it odd. You greeted him kindly, Karamatsu also walking to the door to greet his green clad borther. “Thank you so much for bringing his things! Take care of your parents!” You quickly brought the box in, letting Karamatsu and Choromatsu have a quick chat before they both said their farewells.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, hon. Come on, I’ve got some free drawers and extra space in my closet.” Karamatsu stopped you for a moment, gently pressing a kiss to your temple and then allowing you to lead the way to your bedroom.

-About 3 weeks later-

As much as the brothers teased the shit out of the two of you over the phone, you and Karamatsu were doing pretty well. No fights as of yet, but there have been some tears here and there.

Karamatsu had been relaxing in the living room while you were in your makeshift office space so you could work from home. It was around lunch already, but Karamatsu was prepared; a simple but filling lunch awaited you. Karamatsu, though common now, still wasn’t prepared when you emerged from your office full out bawling. Silently, he took you into his arms and pressed gentle kisses to your temple and shoulder.

It was fairly common for you to be seen crying from how overwhelmed you felt. It didn’t help that your anxiety was at a high and current events pressed hard on your mind. Luckily, Karamatsu was an attentive boyfriend and made sure to gently push you to turn off the news and take breaks when you can. As he sat with you for lunch, you teared up again, though these were tears of happiness and not stress.

-idk another 2 weeks later-

Stress levels were finally starting to come down, the amount of tears lessened, and the breaks and self care days were more common now since your boss had gotten enough complaints that they were forced to evenly distribute the workload instead of dumping most of it onto the “most capable” workers.

However, during your down time today, you realized that Karamatsu would be going back to his own home to live after all this was over. For some reason, it deeply hurt to know your boyfriend wouldn’t be living with you full time in the future. You stayed lost in thought when Karamatsu walked back into the room with two cups of tea. “Here you go, my darling flower. A nice cup of tea to help you stay hydrated.” You accepted the cup woth a small smile and a kiss to his cheek, but your mind was still wandering. Karamatsu, it seemed, could also tell that your mind was elsewhere and sat his cup down after a small sip. “(Y/N), dear? Is something plaguing your mind?”

You snapped out of your increasingly worried mind and hesitated before nodding. ‘Better just tell him, huh?’ You took a deep breath before starting. “Well, I was just thinking that...Once this pandemic is over, or at least safe to partially go back to normal activities, you’ll be going back to your house.” Karamatsu looked as if he had been shocked and stopped to think about it, his frown deepening. He nodded slowly in response, waiting for you to continue if you wanted. “I guess I didn’t really think much of it, but now the thought makes me kinda...sad.” Karamatsu scooted closer to you, holding you close and wiping tears that ran down your cheeks. You didn’t even notice you were crying. “Well, my love...I-I don’t have to move back to my parents house. I have to admit, while I miss my family, it feels really amazing to get to live with you. I guess I nearly forgot that I don’t always live here...”

You looked up at him, slightly shocked, but then again, you were the same. You had nearly forgotten he didn’t normally live with you. Although... “If you want to, I definitely wouldn’t mind you staying and living with me if that’s something you want.” Karamatsu leaned down and left a series of kisses to your lips and forehead. “I mean, of course I’d love to live with you! The question is do you want me to?” You nodded silently, holding onto him as if he would be gone if you let go.

— places start to open up —

Having made the decision already, you were sat nearby while Karamatsu made the phone call to his parents house to tell them the news of him moving in with you. “Hello? Hey, Ichimatsu... Um, could you get everyone else to come to the phone too? I have some news. What? No she’s not pregnant! Just- Please get everyone else?” There was a pause for a moment, probably Ichimatsu gathering the others to the phone.

“Thank you, brother! Um, hi mom, dad, brothers. I um... (Y/N) and I have decided to live together permanently.” You could hear the muffled chaos of the Matsuno family shooting question after question at him, and then Karamatsu motioned you to come over. He handed the the phone whispering how they all wanted to make sure it wasn’t a trick or something. “Hello! I- Yes, I realized that I, um, really enjoyed having Karamatsu here and...wanted to live with him.” His mother grabbed the phone from whoever had it and asked if you would need any extra money due to the fact that “one of her little NEETs” would be there. You politely declined and squeezed Karamatsu’s hand when he gently grabbed onto yours.

An hour later and about a million questions later, you both hung up the phone and collapsed onto the couch. “Well, looks like you’re really stuck with me now,” you joked. Karamatsu laughed and held you close, making you flop on top of his as he laid back on the couch cusions. “I definitely don’t mind being stuck with someone as sweet and beautiful as yourself.” You grinned and pressed your lips to his, one hand coming up to card through his hair while your other hand rested gently on his cheek. Mumbling against his lips, you said, “Welcome home, babe.”

*as you can tell, i love having the bois move in with their partners lmao and i can also just see karamatsu’s partner really loving having him there so yknow just some quarantine fluff since a bitch is still in quarantine. its been 4 months and im exhausted but also thriving idk*

[xnchxntmxnt]

Hey this is for your matchups which again yayyy congrats on nearly 200!! Anyways for my matchup:

1-3) My nickname is Em, she/her and idm who you pair me with

4) I'd describe myself as shy at first then once you get to know me I'll open up, an overthinker and I like to be organized

My hobbies are writing, I really love it alot, I also like to draw if I get time and I love music alot too

In a partner I'd look for someone who makes me laugh and who's patient

For dealbreakers it's pretty general but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't consider other ppl's feelings

5) I don't have an aesthetic but I like pastel aesthetics but then I also like dark aesthetics and light academia so it's a mix I guess

6) Colours to describe me would be teal blue and silver, well according to you anyways

7) Right now I'd say my favourite song is  Tru Luv Street by Awfultune or Fight Night Champion by Cyberbully Mom Club

8) Idk about a specific genre but some artists I like rn are: Awfultune, Carpetgarden, Cavetown, Clem Turner, Cyberbully Mom Club, Girl in Red, Joji, Lorde, Matt Maltese and Twenty One Pilots (sorry that's alot)

9) Ooh and I wanted to include that my favourite book is Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Thank you in advance and also ily, you deserve all the love and more!! <3

EM MY BELOVED I HAVE DONE IT

@sugasfanfics this was so fun wtf like-- ugh i love this

ANYWAY i know i already kinda spilled the beans but im gonna match you with....

✧𝐴𝑘𝑎𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖 𝐾𝑒𝑖𝑗𝑖✧

AGASHIII

and no it's not just because you're already in love w him i have good reasoning behind this because i said so anyWAY

✧𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑀𝑒𝑡✧

how you met, for in case you cant see my fancy text

Cafe

C a f e

But like

A cafe specifically for nerds

This is just my like 2nd dream job okay but like hear me out

They have coffee & tea & a bookshelf full of old books and a chalkboard

You can write all over the chalkboard

You write super tiny and just let a little mini vent out in the corner because you’re stressed out and need to get everything off your chest

BUT you come back the next day and there’s a little note in the same little corner

Your message is gone

But instead is a little note from someone

“If you ever need to talk to someone, let me know”

And an Instagram username

So you give it a shot and you’re like why not talk to this random person Y’know maybe make a new friend if anything just thank them for the offer

You message him and start talking (and low key stalk his page just to see what he’s like, or maybe that’s just me being a snoop) and he’s actually really cool! So you guys meet up and get coffee and actually start talking all the time it’s really sweet

✧𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠✧

general headcanons

When i think of akaashi, I think of stars

When i think of you, i think of picnics and for some reason, water

Like the ocean

SO EVEN IF ITS NOT THE OCEAN

Your ‘spot’ is by this lake where he took you on a date one time

Maybe for an anniversary or something

But you guys did a little picnic dinner thing and were out when the sun went down so sat and stared at the stars

You buried a rock there and both of you like to stand on that spot where the rock is when youre there with the other

Or send the other a picture like “hiii baby look what i found” w your shoe in the picture

Bokuto is your #1 shipper high key

Like he thinks you two are so cute

He loves you so much too like

He and akaashi are kinda a package deal so like if ur dating akaashi ur dating bokuto just with less kissing (bokuto likes to kiss your cheek or forehead) (after making sure this was ok with akaashi of course) (ur his girlfriend of course)

But anyway just bokuto

He’s so sweet

And so clueless

You two will be walking together and then he’ll just walk up behind you and sling his arms over your shoulders

If youre holding hands w akaashi? He’ll put his hand over both of yours

God now i wanna write a fic but anyway

Bo is just the sweetest and is akaashi’s #1 hype man when he’s worried about a date

He’s ur #2 bc im ur #1 sorry to tell u

Bo totally tried to coin the platonic soulmates thing i love you kou but gtfo my em

Im arguing with fictional characters

ANYWAY

When akaashi is stressed he likes to wrap his arms around you and lay his head against your neck

He’ll never admit it out loud because he thinks its weird but he thinks you smell nice

When he’s starting to overthink too much + spiral he just will grab you and hug you until all the bad thoughts go away

When he thinks to of course

When he doesn’t, there are times you gotta find him and calm him down

Which he loves so much

Sit him down on the floor so he feels more grounded and hold his hand (or hook pinkies that's so cute i jhbflebf) (not the time spencer gtfo)

That way ur not crowding him but you’re still there y'know

And sometimes he’ll talk, sometimes you need to talk him down, sometimes you just sit in silence

Eventually he will lean forward into you and hug you because he doesn't want to talk, but he wants you to know he’s okay

Rub his back, kiss his head, you’ll both be okay

He’s really good with you too

When you’re stressed out he might push a couple buttons but he means well

He just wants to know who made his star upset (he calls you his star or darling convince me otherwise)

So he pushes buttons until you finally talk about it because obviously it’s bothering you why wouldn't you talk about it?? He just wants to fix it??

Sometimes this gets more irritating, sometimes it helps, it depends on the day

But even if you do get into an argument, expect to hear from him before the end of the night apologizing because he feels so bad for arguing with you that he doesn’t even care what the argument was about he just wants to make sure you still love him

I think im getting off topic but tbh this part is always just me rambling lol

Another thing I think of when I think of akaashi is rain. I don't know why but i do

You have to at least know OF the notebook & the rain scene to get this

I don't know the book lol i just know this much and i'm a dork so we’re using it & some quotes just a heads up

But just imagine its pouring and you’re bored and text him like “i wish i could see you but its raining & we didn't really make plans & i don't want you to get caught in the rain anywhere”

This mfer

RUNS ALL THE WAY TO UR HOUSE

JUST SHOWS UP

OUT OF NO WHERE

And being the freakin

book nerd he is

He texts you and goes “I wrote you 365 letters.”

And then just “(come to the door and I’ll finish the quote)”

So you bolt to the front door

And there he is

Soaking wet & smiling like an idiot

“I wrote to you everyday for a year.”

To which you start laughing and barley are able to make out a “it wasn’t over’ (which is the beginning of the next quote) before kissing him

And this jerk pulls you out in the rain with him because WHAT is more romantic than kissing in the rain

Nothing

Anyway he ends up with a cold but you give him some of the clothes you probably stole from him to get into dry clothes and you cuddle under the covers with tea

After you smack him (playfully of course) because “you IDIOT keiji it's pouring out here!!” “I wanted to see you too so i ran over” “you're impossible”

Anyway yeah #emkaashiotp

✧𝐴 𝐷𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝐼𝑑𝑒𝑎✧

a date idea

Bookstore

I'm really good at naming places aren't i

Anyway

Bookstore date

But do something fun where the two of you have to go through an aisle and find a random page and read it in the like

How do i explain this

Make it sound suuuuper sexual without it actually being that way and not laugh

Whoever loses buys lunch

Lets just say you lose a lot dear im sorry (he insists on buying anyway, sometimes he wins that argument)

You’re smiley :) (guys her smile is so cute ebflbejfb em ILY)

Oh also doesn’t matter if he bought lunch or not he always gets you something

Whether it be that book you decided you couldn't get this time or a little trinket that reminded him of you, or sometimes it’s just ice cream

It’s all very sweet (hahaha pun)

He always walks you home and gives you a little kiss when he drops you off

Doesn’t leave till you’re inside & he knows you’re good

You make him promise to text you when he gets home

Which he does, without fail

✧𝑍𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑐 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦✧

zodiac compatibility

Sagittariuses are very intelligent, fair-minded & honest, similar to a Libra’s cleverness & rationale. Because of this similarity, trust is a huge thing in these relationships. It can be all or nothing, but finding balance is important to keep both people happy. Luckily, Libras are very good at this. From everything I’ve seen, these signs together have a very high compatibility and can have a very long-withstanding and healthy relationship.

✧𝐴𝑒𝑠𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐✧

aesthetic

✧𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡✧

playlist

House of Gold - Twenty-One Pilots

Lvr Boy - awfultune

A Shitty Love Song - Jye

Darling Get Up - awfultune

Something Just Like This - Alex Goot

✧𝑅𝑢𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑈𝑝✧

runners up

Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[ayyyez]

Omg, darling you opened matchups and im such a hoe for matchups cause I love doing them as well

But! I'd like to see if our boy Neji would actually like me (despite me thinking he actually won't cause we clash a lot lol), but my pronouns are she/her! Hm, physically wise, I'm pretty curvy and semi-tall when it comes to height (idk if 170cm is tall lol), but my personality is rather complicated because I can wake up one day being perfectly fine and content, happy and talkative with everyone, while some other days are a complete opposite and I hate everyone around me and myself lol. I'm a really helpful person and generous! I'm a good teacher and love tutoring in subjects like biology and math. One thing I figured out after I moved abroad for uni is that I laugh a lot and rather easily, so anything can make me laugh at any time.

I'm very sarcastic though and I get pissed easily, however, I'm more of the type to accumulate all of my anger and then spontaneously blow up than let it all out immediately...😅 And, I'm a pretty good listener (ppl talk to me a lot about their problems), but I dislike talking about myself and my problems.

In my free time, I like doing origami and sudoku, and writing! You can always catch me with a book, whether I'm studying or reading it for my own enjoyment! And, to not bore you further, I'll finish here! I hope it's enough and thank you so much if you end up doing this, mwah ❣️

omg yes our mans Neji, ahhh dw I feel like he is the most flexible when it comes to romantic partners? I’M SURE HE WOULD LIKE YOU OKAY! Lemme prove it ehe also side note you’re only a little shorter than me! I’m 172.something! yay tallpeople 

Alright so I feel like a lot of your traits complement well with Neji’s. The fact you are the type of person who helps other people talk about their problems but find it hard to talk about your own is the same as Neji. 

It’s complimentary because you will encourage him to talk about all the issues and trauma he has deep inside him (that he NEEDS to let out) and help him figure out his emotions and feelings.

On the flip side, you doing this for him encourages him doing it for you. He gets it because he hates it too but he knows its healthy to communicate (took him awhile to learn but hey). He also won’t push too far though, just the right amount. Late night talks become your thing. Don’t have anything on the next day? maybe stay up all night talking.

Those days you don’t want to deal with people? He has those all the time and will gladly give you space to chill or give you comfort when you need it. Even if you just sort of want to exist together away from the world he’s good to do that too. 

Neji is also a big reader in his spare time. I can see the two of you accumulating quite the collection. Swapping favourites and discussing them over tea. Who needs dates when you can have debates with your boyfriend over books. 

Neji observes a lot and finds out a lot about you that way. You don’t even really need to talk about yourself for him to know things about you. He just pays enough attention for a lot of things. Even notices things you wouldn’t have even known, like little mindless habits and gestures. 

He would probably be drawn to you because of your generosity and the way you help others in general. Teaching people calmly and helpfully will make his heart do the skip a beat moment. Is generally drawn to people like that so I definitely see it being the same for you. 

Likes your laugh but he’s not really the jokester. It would be more you laughing at him being the sweet and flustered disaster he is. Especially when it comes to relationships. Tease him, honestly, it’s good for a laugh but also is the cutest thing ever.  Especially because it’s Neji, mr snark. 

I think you being talkative to an extent helps you too connect in the early stages because he is the opposite most of the time. Like he can talk to people but he can’t hold conversations outside of shinobi life to save his life until he gets to know you. 

If you do happen to blow up (it happens, you’re human okay) He will go into calm, comforting mode. Might be awkward the first time, he’s generally awkward with affection and emotions but like at the end of the day he totally gets it. 

Will do whatever you need. Hug? You got it. Space? You got it? A good yell? Yell away (maybe not at him though) Ultimately though he will talk you through it when you’re ready. He’ll love you lots okay?

Also if you find it easy to get along with people and go out, hold his hand okay? Hates being in unnecessary social situations and looks to you to save him lmao. 

All in all a very cute and healthy matchup! 

Hope you enjoyed these bby! <3

[kuviras-eyeliner]

Hey! I just found your blog and I was wondering if I could get a LOK (and atla if you’re comfortable with doing both and it’s not too much) matchup? I’m a 5’0” girl with really short dark brown hair and brown eyes. Im kinda curvy and not 100% confident in my appearance. I’m a FLAMING bisexual. I’m a Ravenclaw, personality type INFP-T, and my friends tell me I’d probably be an earth bender. I love reading, writing, singing, listening to music, and watching movies and musicals. I also really love physical affection (both giving and receiving, ngl probably touch starved a bit over here). I love any and all animals SO MUCH. I can be kinda silly sometimes but I know when to get serious. I’m pretty protective of the people I’m close to. I’m also kind of stubborn. I have a small obsession with dragons and kind of just mythical beings in general. I usually feel happy when I make others happy. And I guess it might be helpful to mention that my main love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. And idk if this will help but I am a switch. I don’t really know what else to put on here so yeah! (PS YOUR NAME IS REALLY PRETTY!! And I’m also gonna send a request after this cause I’d love to read your writing!)

Bby I’m so so so so so so so so sorry that this took so long! Haha I’m just glad we’re finally here, let’s get to it!

I match you with...

Sokka!

Yes, our precious boomerang man would definitely be one of the most perfect matches for you. You kind of seem like the type of person that would get really hyped up about something during a call with friends, try to explain it, but end up talking so much that you take up the entire call? Haha maybe I’m wrong (but that’s honestly something I’d do), but either way, you seem like such a chill person, if I knew you in person I’d love to hang out sometime. Anywho, Sokka, the one and only Armbender would be the member of the Gaang to fall in love with you. Since Sokka was really, really developed so amazingly, I’m going to make this one prettty long, so buckle your seatbelts and let’s get to it. As we all know, Sokka is one heck of a precious warrior who has gone through, well, a lot. He always makes people laugh, and considering romantic relationships, I’m pretty sure everyone would want to be looked at the way Sokka looks at Suki. Sokka is someone who will immediately start crying even when he hears anything about you being negatively thrown, or if you ever feel hurt. He’ll make sure that if you ever feel down, he’ll cry with you and tell you that it’s going to be alright. He also loves your eyes-- the tone and shade of brown, with small tints of black and when they light up against the sun is what makes him want to throw his arms around you. And when he sees that smile in your eyes? Yes, definitely, he decides that there’s nothing more beautiful than that. He thinks your smile is the most beautiful thing about you, and the truth is, he doesn’t care at all about how you look! As long as you’re the same, talented, outstanding, charismatic and sweet person you were from the start and you are comfortable with yourself, he doesn’t care. And if you don’t feel that way, without manipulating you, Sokka will care for you until the end of times until you know that you feel safe. When you feel tired and useless, he’s always going to be the first person to notice. When he sees you not acting as you normally do, even when you say, “I’m fine,” he’ll always be the first to grab your shoulders, pull you into the softest hug in the world and say, “you’re not. It’s okay to feel that way,” and trust me, and can and will listen to you for hours, days, weeks, months, and even years if he has to! The fact that you love animals sometimes really ties in with his meat jokes, so he might tease you a bit on that and say, “what a beautiful dog that is. I wonder what would happen if I just, ya know, accidentally-” (*this is when you’re supposed to judo-flip him,,, lightly-) Sokka is always laughing in that wholesome Sokka way he does, and no matter what you may go through, he’ll always make  sure that you feel safe and comforted around him. He honestly believes that it’s so amazing that you’re capable of doing so many different things. And even though Sokka isn’t one to make a big deal of fictional and fantasy-like phenomenons, he’ll make an exception for you, and he just makes this cutest face when he tries to understand the idea of fantasy creatures. “A- a what? Okay, look, I know dragons are real, but how- how is there a scientific explanation of a horse with a horn?? Doesn’t it like- hurt?? I don’t understand,” and you kind of have to explain the same idea multiple times, but every time he acknowledges your ideas. 

Alright, 682 words, let’s go! I hope this was enough, and yep, feel free to send in that request! And thank you so much you’re too sweet ;U; I honestly hope you’ll come back some time because WOW, your vibes are amazing?? I hope you’re doing well, lemme know if you ever need anything!

[lucatorahaven]

vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?” 

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart 

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know” 

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas 

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there 

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay” 

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and 

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp 

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??   

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital   

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him 

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS  A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess 

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it 

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT 

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her 

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

[noonachronicles]

Rock and a Hard Place

Im Changkyun/I.M. X Reader & Lee Hoseok/Wonho X Reader

Word count: 7.7k

Warnings: Sex stuff, and lots of vulgar language, deals with polyamorous relationships (does that require a warning? Idk).  

Genre: Angst, Smut, moments of fluff. It’s got it all really.

A/N: Kind just gets right into some smut, so just gonna throw this guy under a cut.

There you were, spread eagle on the couch. One leg over the back and the other propped up on the coffee table. All of your glory out in the open for the world to see. Your face was pressed into a throw pillow as your thighs trembled with your orgasm.

“Oh my god!” Your scream was muffled by the pillow. Eyes squeezed shut, toes curled, you gasped, “I’m so close. Shit, Hoseok. Keep going.”

Your fingers grasped Hoseok’s hair trying to somehow urge him further between your legs. His hand worked your soaked cunt, his tongue your swollen clit, until finally your mouth fell open. You let out a long satisfied moan. When your eyes opened you caught sight of Changkyun at the door. His eyes met yours for a moment before he disappeared, the door shut quietly behind him.

“Fuck.” You muttered and sat up quick. You reached for something to throw on. Anything from the pile of clothes on the floor near the couch. You threw a T-shirt over your head and hopped into Hoseok’s boxers.

“Are you okay?” He asked clearly confused, still kneeling in front of the couch with his mouth and chin soaked in you.

“Yeah, everything’s fine...just stay here. I’ll be right back.” You said kissing his sweaty forehead before running out of the front door.

You clattered barefoot down the stairs of the apartment building hoping he hadn’t gotten too far. He hadn’t. He’d just nearly reached the bottom of the stairs, shoulders slumped.

“Hey!” You breathed heavily making your way down the last few steps to meet him. You reached a hand out to touch him but he pulled away.

“Don’t.” He said looking at your hand in what could only be described as disgust.

You gulped, “What are you doing here? You know it’s his weekend.”

“Yeah, I know.” He stared at your feet, refusing to look at your face. “I just thought…you’d remember.”

“Remember what?”

“Our anniversary.” He nodded, as if you’d confirmed his worst fear, of course you didn’t remember.

“No, that’s not right. We met…” you thought for a second before realization hit. “Oh...shit.”

“Yeah.”

You threw your arms around his neck. Even if he tried to pull away you were keeping him in your arms, but he didn’t try.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Fuuuck, I’m so sorry. I don’t deserve you. I’m so stupid.” You mumbled regretfully into his neck, leaving little kisses everywhere. Any piece of his soft skin that was available to you.

“Don’t worry.” He mumbled into your shoulder.

You pulled away holding his pouty face in your hands. “I’m an asshole. Let me go back up really quick. I’ll tell him to leave and wash up and we can do whatever you want.”

He wrapped his fingers around your wrist and gave a small, ingenuine smile. “Don’t. It’s okay. Have your weekend and we can celebrate later. Here.”

You hadn’t even realized the narrow gift bag in his hand until he was handing it to you. It was a bottle of wine, the kind you had shared on your first date. That stung. You looked back up at him and smiled weakly, so horribly embarrassed, “You are amazing and I’m a total piece of shit.”

“Don’t talk about my jagi like that.” He said grabbing your hips and pulling into him. “Just give me a kiss before you go?”

“Of course.” You wrapped your arms around his neck once more and pulled him in for his kiss.

You didn’t know what kind of kiss it would be, you rarely did with him. It had started so soft and sweet. Before you knew it, it had become heated, dangerously so. One of his hands was in your hair, the other squeezing your ass so hard you expected a bruise. All you could do was moan into his mouth and try to breathe. He really wanted you to want him, and you really truly did.

He let you pull back, rather reluctantly for both of you, as you heard the clatter of heel clicks and giggling storming down the stairs. A group of college girls passed you two on the stairs on their way out for a wild night.

“You smell like pussy.” He muttered after they were out of earshot, reminding you of how he found you minutes ago.

“Sorry.” You said once again.

He licked his lips, eyeing your neck. “What for? I just wish it was for me.”

“Kyunnie…”

“I better go before this case of blue balls gets any worse.” He sighed. He cupped your neck one more time and pulled your face to his for a quick kiss.

“I’ll make it up to you.” You promised.

“I know. Love you.” He said before starting to walk away.

“Love you too.” You returned. He didn’t turn back around one last time like he usually did. Just made his way through the door and out into the night. You sighed and looked back down at the bottle of wine in the gift bag, “Happy anniversary…”

~

After explaining to Hoseok what had happened he was more than understanding when you asked him if you could cut your weekend together short. The two of you had spent the rest of the night together but the next morning after breakfast you went your separate ways. You spent most of your morning and afternoon trying to think of how you’d makeup your mistake to Changkyun.

It wasn’t a surprise to you when you walked into his apartment and he wasn’t there. You’d really only gone to drop off a few things and use the kitchen. Once you had everything ready you walked down the street to the park he usually inhabited. He was where you’d figured he’d be. Sitting on a large flat rock that overlooked the small lake in the parks center. He had his headphones in and was jotting furiously in a notebook on his lap. You almost didn’t want to bother him. You waited until he’d stopped writing and then put your bag down next to him. He looked up at you in surprise, pulling one of his headphones out.

“Hey...what’s up? What are you…are you here on like a date thing?” He asked looking behind you, probably looking for Hoseok.

“Do you want to be here on a date thing?” You asked sitting down next to him and leaving a kiss on his cheek.

“I told you, you didn’t have to cut your weekend short for me.” He said, but the smile on his face told you just how happy he was that you did.

“Oh.” You said and started to stand up, “well if you’re sure...I’ll just-“

“No! You have to stay now!” He laughed wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back down. “What did you plan? Show me.”

You grabbed your bag and dragged it over to where you were. “I brought food, sushi and dumplings.”

“Our first meal together.” He grinned.

“Yes! You remembered! And I thought we could eat it here on this very rock where I gave you a handy for the first time at like three in the morning…”

“And that park ranger guy chased us out of here and my pants kept falling down.” He blushed happily.

You nodded as you laughed at the memory, “Then at home I bought your favorite ice cream. We got some face masks waiting, the expensive shit that I know you like. And for entertainment some super gory Japanese horror film that Kihyun suggested like a month ago that I never got around to watching.”

“Aw, babe.” He cooed, “Some movie neither one of us cares about, that you have to watch because your dumb friend suggested it and probably keeps asking if you’ve watched it? You’re so romantic. So thoughtful, my favorite part.”

“But you’ll do it right?” You asked with a big cheesy smile that he’d never say no to.

He nodded, “Yes, because I love you.”

“I love that you love me.”

“I love that you love that I love you.”

“I love that you love that I love that you love..”

“Stop” he shook his head and pressed his hand against your mouth. “Just stop, it was cute and then you killed it. It’s dead now. Give me my food.”

~

“Hey, baby.” you could hear Changkyun call from the front door a few days later.

“In the bedroom.” you called back snapping another picture on your phone. It was good enough so you sent it on it’s way. When you rolled over on your back he was standing in the doorway looking at you incredulously.

“What...are you doing?” he asked with a chuckle pulling his hoodie over his head. The fabric tugging up his t-shirt as well. The sight of his soft tummy made you bite your lip.

“Just taking a stupid picture.”

He was still stuck inside his sweater, having forgotten to take his hat off first. So helpless it made your heart melt in your chest. You kicked out your foot, hooking a toe beneath his belt and pulled him blindly to the bed.

“What is happening?” he laughed as he stumbled forward before finally getting his sweater off and tossing it to the ground.

“I want you.”

“Oh?” he smiled at first but then took in the scene. You in a shirt and some underwear your phone on the pillow. Taking selfies that you never sent him. Before you knew what was going on he stepped back with a frown. “Who’s the picture for?”

“What does it matter?” you asked with a pout, trying to reach out at him but he stepped back so you couldn’t.

“You send him selfies? You never send me sexy panty, bedroom selfies.”

You dropped your hands, exasperated, “You never ask for them.”

“So, what is this?  He has you all hot and bothered with his afternoon sexting and I’m just supposed to satisfy you since he can't because it's my night? Is that how this is going to work?”

With a huff you reached over and grabbed your phone, unlocking it, “Haven’t heard much from you today, been busy? Yeah spent all morning finishing up that presentation for this afternoon. Oh yeah, forgot you had that. Go well? I think so we’ll find out soon. I bet you killed it. Thanks. How’s your day? Fine, working late tonight. Ugh. Yeah. Miss your smile. Send me something cute to get me through the night?” You dropped your phone on the mattress and looked up at Changkyun, “Then I sent him a stupid fucking selfie. That’s definitely what got me hot and bothered. Couldn’t be you, standing right in front of me, looking obnoxiously sexy and extremely frustrating.”

“Obnoxiously sexy?” He asked looking over at your full length mirror to check himself out before grinning and stepping back between your legs. “You proved your point.”

“So...do you want me right now or do you want me to send you some selfies first...how’s this going to work?”

He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, his fingers tickling your sides as he grabbed the hem of your shirt. When he pulled away he dragged the shirt up and over your head.

“I’m such a dick.” He shrugged, “Just...ignore me. I get-“

“Jealous?” You asked helping him take off his pants as he pulled his own shirt over his head.

“Look at you. Can you blame me?” He asked crashing down onto you, pushing you into the mattress. You hummed into his lips in reply. His hands moved a little clumsily down your body and you gasped as he kissed your neck and shoulder, his teeth dragging against your skin. He slipped his fingers into your panties and over the slick wet warmth. “All this just for me?”

“Mmhmm.” You smiled against his shoulder, “do you have something for me?”

“Do I ever.” He laughed and pushed himself up on the mattress, “take your panties off.”

You reached down, trapped beneath him and pulled your underwear down your hips. He laughed at the cute way you stuck your tongue between your teeth and kissed your cheek as you kicked them off your legs.

“Okay.” You panted, laying back down “I’m ready.”

“You sure?” He teased kissing your neck so gently it tickled.

“Fuck.” You gasped as he pressed inside you with little warning.

His breath came in hot, heavy pants against your throat as he found his rhythm. You dragged your hands down his back and then up again twisting your fingers in his hair, rolling your hips up to meet him.

He wrapped his arms around your head like he was protecting you from something unknown. His mouth was open against your skin, he’d meant to kiss you but all of his efforts were focused elsewhere. You kissed him instead. His cheek, pink with hard work. His eyelid, his eyes squeezed shut in concentration. His forehead, salty with perspiration.

“Let me see you cum.” He panted after some time, lifting his head so he could see you.

“Okay.” You could see the muscles in his shoulders growing pink from holding himself up. So you nudged his hip with your knee and he rolled over on his back.

“Thank you.” He smiled, sinking into the mattress as you adjusted yourself on top of him and took over.

You ran your thumb over his cheek, “You’re so beautiful.”

“Hey, that’s my line.” His hand found its way between your thighs. You fell forward onto his chest as if he’d pressed some magic button and whimpered. “Come on...let me see.”

“Yeah. Okay.” You repeated yourself before pushing yourself back up. Hands pressed firmly on his chest this time as he continued to play with you. “Just- don’t stop.”

He watched as you closed your eyes and bit your lip. His name fell from your lips like a song. And he finally saw the face he’d been looking for, the one he saw a few nights ago. Then you crumpled onto the mattress beside him in exhaustion.

You sighed happily rolling over, throwing your leg over his. When you kissed him you felt so blissful you didn’t even see the way he looked at you, like he was miserable. You nuzzled into his shoulder, so content, “That’s what I wanted.”

“Is it?” he asked. You nodded in response. “Do you think about him? When you’re with me is that who you imagine inside of you?”

“Who?” you asked confused by the question.

“You know who.” he said and you finally realized the air in the room was not what you thought it was.

“Kyunnie.. wow. Seriously?” you asked leaning back to look at him fully. He just looked at you, waiting. “No. I don’t think about him when I’m with you. What’s going on with you lately?”

“I don’t know, forget it.” he said shutting himself down.

“I’m not letting this go. Let’s talk to Hyungwon. Tomorrow.” you suggested. He only nodded in agreement.

~

“The last time we sat down, Changkyun, you seemed genuinely okay with the setup of the, you know, poly relationship. What’s changed?” Hyungwon asked scribbling something on the notepad that sat on his knee.

“It could be the fact that since the last time we were here I’ve seen my girlfriend's new boyfriend snorkeling in her cunt while she blasted his face with lady jizz.”

“Jesus Christ, Changkyun.” You groaned in embarrassment, burying your face in a throw pillow.

“Am I wrong? Was that not what I’d walked in on? Aren’t my feelings valid?” He asked.

Hyungwon stifled a laugh in an effort to remain professional. “Yes, Changkyun. You are valid here. Thank you for sharing.”

They both turned to you and you sighed, “Yes, Kyunnie. While you may be crass, you are still valid.”

“Changkyun, I am curious, do you think your feelings changed because you saw the act taking place firsthand? I know the pair of you talked in excess about what being polyamorous would mean for you both as a couple, and that you knew she would be partaking in sexual acts with others. Did it just come as a surprise to see it happening? Not just hearing about it.”

“I guess it’s kind of that. It’s also that while she’s talked about him and told me all about him, I had never seen him before. He offered to meet once if I thought it would make me more comfortable. I didn’t want to.”

“Did it just bother you to have a face with the name?”

“No. It bothered me because,” he stopped and took a deep breath before looking out of the window like he wanted to sprint through it. You tried to figure out what he was feeling, he looked almost ashamed. “It bothered me because he’s big.”

“Big?”

“Not like his dick or anything. I don’t know, I didn't see that. He’s just physically big. Like some… giant...abnormally huge...muscle pig.” He said with clear distaste. “A human colored Hulk.”

“He’s not.” You rolled your eyes feeling the sudden urge to defend Hoseok. He wasn’t even there, you hated talking about him when he wasn’t there. “He’s not a muscle pig. You don’t have to be so mean.”

“Do you have a picture?” Hyungwon asked you curiously.

You sighed and pulled your phone from your pocket. It took you a second to find a suitable picture of him before handing it over. “That’s him.”

“Let me see.” Changkyun huffed reaching for your phone. “That’s not a good one. Show him a real one. I guarantee he’s sent you some jacked, shirtless gym selfie.”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked before flipping through your pictures again. You found one Changkyun would be happy with and dropped it on the coffee table annoyed.

“I just want you to be honest with me…for once.”

Hyungwon took his time admiring the photo, zooming in and out, getting a really good look. He passed your phone back with a hum. “Yeah. He’s jacked. He’s like…woo- really good looking.”

“I hate both of you.” You muttered shoving your phone back in your pocket.

“See? If I’d known she just wanted some buff gym rat… I could have bulked up or something. I thought I was good enough but it’s like,” he stopped unable to find the words or too hurt to say the ones he was thinking of.

“Changkyun…” you reached your hand over and slipped your fingers between his, “You’re perfect as you are. It has nothing to do with that, none of this does.”

“If I’m enough then… then I don’t want to do this anymore. Be with just me again.” He said looking over at you seriously.

“I-“ you could feel him try to slip his hand away but you held tight. “Okay. Whatever you need.”

“Don’t do me any favors.” He scoffed.

“Whatever we need.” you corrected, “You know what I meant.”

“So...poly no more?” Hyungwon asked. “It’s probably what I would have advised.”

“But you didn’t.” Changkyun said with an eye roll and stood up, “You didn’t give us...any advice. You literally never do.”

“Here’s some advice then, and it’s going to change your world, get a real therapist.”

“You are a real therapist. I thought.” You said grabbing the remote before kicking your feet up on the coffee table and turning the tv on. “Isn’t I’m a doctor your go to pick up line?”

“Fine, one you don’t pay in beer then, you pair of dumbasses.” your friend laughed accepting the open bottle Changkyun had come back from the kitchen with.

~

“No.” Hoseok said simply and shook his head.

You’d invited him for lunch at a cafe downtown so you could break the news, so you could break up with him. You let him know it was best, so that you could save your relationship with Changkyun.

“Just, no?” you said trying to read his very calm denial.

He was sitting in a chair across the small table from you as you sat on a plush loveseat. The plates had already been cleared from the table, just your half empty glasses were left.

“No. You don’t get to just choose him over me. That’s not playing fair. I’m just as invested as he has been, I should get a shot.”

“A shot?” this wasn’t going as you’d expected at all. “You want a shot...at me? I didn’t think that was something you’d wanted.”

“Have you not thought we were really dating this whole time? What did you think I thought this was, a consistent string of hookups?” he asked looking slightly worried, “Because I’ve been considering you my girlfriend. I tell people you’re my girlfriend.”  

“No, yes. Ugh!” you groaned and covered your face. “I’m just fucking everything up. Yes, I consider you my boyfriend. No, you’re not just a hookup to me.”

He pulled his chair around the table so he could sit in front of you. Leaning in he grabbed your hands in his and met your gaze with eyes that held a look so soft you were seconds from becoming putty. He laughed lightly, “Good, because I love you.”

“Love me?!” you practically shouted and threw yourself back into the loveseat dramatically. Several people around you turned and stared. You leaned forward again so you were close and said, much quieter, “Sorry...you love me?”

“You don’t just share your girl with another guy unless you think she’s really worthwhile.” he grinned squeezing your hands.

“Yeah but your girlfriend-”

“I’m not dating anyone else.”

“I- what? You had a girlfriend when we first met. Like a long term girlfriend. You introduced me to poly.” you were so confused, so overwhelmed.

“Yeah.” he chuckled, at how cute he found you. “I remember. I was poly- am poly and actually I’d been in two other relationships when we met. When we were getting more serious I realized you were all I wanted right now. I talked to both of them and we went our separate ways.”

You sat back in the loveseat once more, finally allowing yourself to relax a little, you hadn’t realized how tense you’d been this whole time. Your back was sore. When you looked back up at Hoseok he was smiling at you.

“God, am I really so needy that you couldn’t deal with me and another relationship?” you asked.

“Not at all.” he moved from the chair he was in to sit beside you on the loveseat. He cupped the back of your neck and pulled you forward, gently kissing your forehead. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“What do I do now?”

“Well, you obviously love Changkyun. Do you think you might love me too?” he asked with absolutely no pressure in his tone.

You nodded with zero hesitation, “I really think I do.”

“Good, that’s good. That you know.” he said with a small smile, “Really think about it, maybe take the weekend to be by yourself away from both of us and think about what you need. If by monday you’re still not sure what you want, you’ll have to tell him. If he really isn’t okay with being poly, then you have to make a choice.”

You pouted, incredibly unhappy with that answer. You tucked yourself into his side. He draped an arm over your shoulder and you grabbed his hand, pulling him tighter around you. Resting your head on his chest, you sighed deeply, “You have the softest heart.”

“Yep, softest heart, hardest abs. Remember that when you’re making your decision.”

You snorted out a laugh and then buried your face in his chest out of embarrassment. “That was so terrible.”

He hooked his finger under your chin and lifted your lips to his for a soft peck, “It was, but it made you laugh.”

You couldn’t stop the blush if you tried, “It did make me laugh.”

~

Changkyun paced the floor of your small living room several times. Then he sat down on the chair, stood back up and continued to pace. His thumb was tucked between his lips as he chewed on his nail. All you could really do was sit on the couch watching him, trying not to get dizzy. Leaning forward you grabbed your wine glass and gulped until it was empty.

You placed the empty glass on the table and looked back at the still pacing Changkyun. “You’re so nervous it’s making me nervous.”

Finally he paused his pacing to look over at you, “What can I say? It’s not every night you get to meet your girlfriend's boyfriend, who also just happens to be better than you in every single way.”

“Stop it, please!” You sighed, completely exasperated. “He’s not better than you, he’s just different from you. And when you find a girl you like and want to date, if you want me to meet her, I’d be fine with that.”

“He is. He is better than me. He makes more money than me, I know that. From what you say about him he’s more responsible than I am. We both know he’s stronger than me. Physically for sure, and honestly probably emotionally as well. He’s probably funnier than me too and I’m sure he fucks you better.” Changkyun was practically screaming now, and something sick made its way into your stomach. “And just so we’re clear, I would never do that to you. I would never ask you to meet another girlfriend of mine because I don’t want another girlfriend. I want you. Just you. I love you. Why don’t you get this? It’s so simple. I’ve never wanted this, it was always for you.”

As the sick feeling grew you wondered if it was just guilt or if guilt was only one of the ingredients. “We talked about this...for months. We laid in bed together on many, many nights and set boundaries and rules. You told me you wanted this too. How can you say this was just for me? Why would you agree to it if it’s not what you wanted too?”

“I was scared and I didn’t want to lose you. Okay?” He said quietly and you felt like it was one of the most honest things he’d said to you in awhile. “When you brought it up the first time, I thought it was a joke. Then you brought it up again and again and I realized you really wanted this. I was afraid that if I said no I would lose you. Now I’m losing you anyway.”

“Changkyun, you’re not losing me.” You felt uncomfortable sitting down so you stood, and wrapped your arms around yourself, “I want this to work. I love you, but I love him too. That’s why tonight is so important to me. I just think if we all could just sit down and talk about it, we’d feel better. And if you don’t feel better even after you talk to him, then I’ll do what I have to do. But I need us to try first.”

“I don’t.” He said defeated.

“You don’t what?”

His lip was trembling and when you noticed it made your chest tighten. This was it. “I don’t need tonight to happen for me to know, I already do. I want you, but I don’t want this. Nothing is changing that. I-“

“Don’t.” You interrupted and quickly moved around the coffee table. You grabbed his cheeks in your hands, tears already dripping over your cheeks. “Don’t say it. Please. Please. I just...I can’t let you. Please don’t.”

Watching him cry just as hard as you only made it that much worse. And all you could do was stand there with his face in your hands, begging him please. For awhile he really couldn’t even speak. He’d open his mouth to say something and then just shutter out another sob. The front of your shirt was getting soaked in tears that had slipped down your neck.

After some time he took a deep breath and sniffed, rubbing his face on his hoodie sleeve. He used the other sleeve to wipe your face dry. “I love you so much...and it hurts, but I think you should be with him. He’d be okay with it if you needed to be with someone else too and I can’t give that to you. You should try, so that you know if it’s what you really want.”

“This isn’t what I want, I know that already.” You felt broken. “I don’t want you to break up with me. I don’t want this at all.”

“This isn’t what I wanted either, but you have a need and I can’t figure out how to let you experience it without getting in the way. We don’t have to call it a break up. Let’s just call it a trial run of you being with him instead of with me. We can call it space.”

“What will you do?” You felt selfish even asking but you were realizing how selfish you’d been this whole time anyway, so might as well. “Are you going to...be with other women? And maybe fall in love with them. Get married? Forget about me? And disappear from my life?”

“Yes.” He said deadpan, he was so good at it, “It’s probably going to happen by the end of next week, so you should really figure out what you need before then.”

You let out the smallest laugh as he wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. You held him so much tighter than you ever had before, wanting your love for him to seep through your body and into his so that he could know. You inhaled the scent of him so deeply, worried you might not get the chance again. It made you want to cry again.

“I’m gonna go.” He whispered into your hair. You shook your head no and squeezed him closer in defiance. He chuckled, “You have to try, so that you know. So you don’t regret what might have been.”

With a painful sigh you stepped back letting your hand drag down his arm. You wrapped your fingers around his wrist and held on as he tried to walk away. He smiled and lifted your hand to his lips for a last sweet kiss. You didn’t know what else to do but watch him leave.

When he opened the door your eyes went wide at the sight of Hoseok, hand at the ready to knock. His eyes went wide too and you suspected that Changkyun looked just as surprised.

“Hi I’m-“ he paused, seeing the looks on both of your faces, “Hoseok.”

“Yeah. Hey.” Changkyun said quietly before taking a deep, shaky sigh, “Please take good care of her.”

And then he was gone, he’d disappeared down the hallway. Hoseok stood in the doorway for a moment to process and then looked up at you realizing what he must have missed. In a blink he was across the room and you were in his arms, a weeping mess once more.

~

A few weeks later things seemed to normalize. The two of you were doing good, the same as before, just more frequently you guessed. You’d spent your Saturday morning at breakfast with Hoseok’s friend, Minhyuk. He told you about a cool street market he thought you’d enjoy and so the three of you headed over there after to walk off breakfast.

It was actually a really cool market. A little city of pop up canopies that protected the goods of all local businesses. You squeezed Hoseok’s hand as you perused the offerings. He fed you samples of homemade chocolate from one tent and blackberries straight from the farm from another. You bought a bundle of wildflowers for your apartment and made heart eyes at a tent that offered hand bound notebooks with leather covers and recycled paper sewn in for the pages. You just knew they were something Changkyun would have loved.

Near where the food trucks were lined up there was an opening to a small park where people were lounging and eating. A woman was playing the acoustic guitar, anticipating a bit of money from the people that passed by. The three of you found a nice patch of grass across from the fountain to relax on.

Hoseok stretched out, laying his head on your lap as you and Minhyuk praised the coffee you’d picked up from one of the vendors that roasted their own beans in house.

“Soooo.” Minhyuk smiled mischievously, “You guys are like dating now. For real.”

“We’ve been dating.” Hoseok said simply. His eyes were closed as you ran your hand through his hair. “For real.”

“Yeah but does it count if one of you is also dating someone else?”

“Yes.” You laughed.

He made a face like he wasn’t convinced and sipped his coffee. “But you’re like dating dating.”

“To answer your poorly asked question, yes we are dating, and currently only each other.” You said with a small eye roll.

“Monogamy.” Hoseok chimed in, lifting his hand up to the clouds and moving it in an arch shape, “The more you know.”

“If either of you wanted at any point, perhaps, to date someone else as well, you still could?” Minhyuk continued, raising a cheeky eyebrow at you.

You almost choked on your coffee, “Are you trying to ask me out?”

“I mean, if you were hungry I would take you out to dinner. Not like anything expensive…”

Hoseok swatted a hand at his friend as you continued to laugh. “You’re such a pest, Minhyuk.”

A while later, before Hoseok could truly fall asleep, you got back up to walk around a little longer. You found a cute tent selling ice cream and dragged Hoseok over for some. As you read down the menu you squeezed his hand excitedly.

“Oh they have sherbet, no one ever has sherbert.” You said looking over at him and realized you’d made a mistake.

“Do you like sherbert that much?” He asked surprised. “I didn’t realize.”

“No, not really I just...um I don’t know. I just thought it was cool because no one ever really offers it.” You smiled and turned back to the menu. Changkyun liked sherbert.

Minhyuk had taken off and the two of you headed back to Hoseok’s to relax. He watched you move around his kitchen, finding something to put your flowers in. As you were filling a drink pitcher up with water he stepped up behind you, placing a hand on your hip.

“Today was fun.” He said moving your hair to the side with his free hand so he could kiss your neck.

You smiled, dropping the flowers into the water. “It was a lot of fun. I’m glad we went out. Min is...interesting.”

“We don’t have to talk about him... What do you want to do tonight?” He asked sucking gently on your skin.

“I think we should stay in.” You groaned as his hand slipped down the front of your jeans.

He turned you around and pushed your butt up against the counter. He made quick work of your jeans, pulling them down your legs and helping you step out of them. His tongue was flush against your sex in seconds. His nose rubbing against your clit as he licked at you.

“Yeah, we’re doing this...” you muttered, not really guessing this was where your afternoon was headed when you’d walked into the apartment, but not minding it either.

He stood back up and undid his own pants impatiently. He only dropped them to his knees before lifting you onto the counter and pushing your knees open. You let out a breath as you watched him. He hissed, easing inside of you, watching you take every inch before looking back up at you with a smile.

You grabbed his face and pulled that smiling mouth in for a kiss. You closed your eyes but only for a second before you opened them wide in surprise. Your brain had flashed an image of Changkyun. Not of you having sex, but of him laughing, doubling over, mouth wide open laughter. You tightened around Hoseok at the thought.

He groaned, and told you to wrap your legs around him. He cupped your backside in his arms and carried you over to the couch where he laid you down.

“This is better.” He smiled before getting back into it.

You held onto his shoulders, afraid to close your eyes again. It was a little too late. Even with your eyes open you were thinking about him. About Changkyun. So you closed your eyes. It was a different memory. At the grocery store, he made a face at you like you’d said something he’d found incredibly stupid.

“Sherbert is garbage.” You remembered.

You knew this memory. That night he made you buy five different types of sherbert. He made you try every single one. You were left eating sherbert for weeks. Luckily you had his help.

You whimpered beneath Hoseok. He looked down at you, panting heavily, “You okay?”

You nodded, “Yes. You just feel so good.”

He nuzzled into your neck as you closed your eyes again. The night you got stuck at work when you were meant to have dinner flashed in your head. When you got home he’d been in the kitchen cooking with his back to you. When he finally turned to you, you realized he’d been wearing the face mask you spent too much money on and were saving for a special night. You’d screamed at him for ten full minutes in frustration but mostly because he just kept laughing at you.

“I’m close, you close?” Hoseok brought you back. Your eyes snapped open.

“What?”

“I can’t hold much longer.” He said with a slow deep grind.

“I just need.” You bit your lip, “I need a second. I need one more.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, this time you knew what you’d see. Stretched out on your back, on top of his rock at the park watching clouds pass overhead while he laid on his stomach next to you writing in his notebook.

He’d looked over at you, raised an eyebrow and said, “Oh. Did I tell you?”

“Tell me what?” You’d asked and turned your head to him.

“I love you.”

“Oh, fu-!” you trembled to completion. You threw your arms over your face almost immediately in shame. How could you look at Hoseok now? You took several breathes and sort of hoped he’d just walk away. Even if you knew he wasn’t that kind of guy.

He moved your arms and looked down at you with worry clear on his face. “You okay?”

You nodded, “It was just a lot.”

“You cried?” He asked wiping a stray tear from the corner of your eye.

“No! Just...my eyes were watering.”

“You’re sure you’re okay?” He asked kissing your temple. You nodded once more. “Okay. I’m going to go hit the shower, come join me?”

“Yeah.” You said with a small smile in return, “I just need a minute.”

“Of course. I’ll get the water ready.”

You waited until he left the room completely, and you could hear water running in the bathroom before curling up on the couch to cry.

~

A month had passed by and you continued to think back to moments with Changkyun. Almost everything you did had some connection or another to him. Some memories left an ache in your chest for hours afterward.

You did your best to hide your thoughts from Hoseok. You genuinely loved him and being with him. He was absolutely perfect. So thoughtful and kind, always so caring. Every day you tried to be in the moment with him, enjoying him and being just as good to him as he was to you.

Tired from a long day at work you unlocked the door to Hoseok's apartment with a yawn and stepped inside.

“Hey, it’s just me.” You called out, dropping your keys on the side table and taking your shoes off.

He poked his head around the corner to the kitchen and beamed at you, “Hey, beautiful. Wash up, dinner's almost ready.”

You yawned once more and walked over to him for a quick kiss, “Did you make anything good?”

“Yeah I think so.” He grinned, “Hurry back, you can open some wine while I finish up.”

Not too much later Hoseok placed the finished dinner plate in front of you and moved around to the other side of the table with his own plate. Both of you ate in silence for some time before you finally looked up with a small smile.

“It’s really good,” you commented, “thank you.”

“Of course.” he returned with a smile so bright it lit up the room.

“So, how was your day?” you asked.

“It was pretty good. Work went fast, which was nice. Then I just went to the store to pick up some things for dinner and, well, now we’re here. And also I think we should break up.”

“Well that’s good that it...wait you what?” you asked dropping your fork on the plate with a clatter.

He licked his lips, still smiling softly as he looked at you, “I love you and I know you love me too, I do. But, baby, you love Changkyun more.”

“Uh.” you couldn’t even stutter out a reply.

“It’s really okay. You spend eighty percent of the time we’re together thinking about him.” your mouth opened and closed silently, not unlike a trout. “At first I was a little hurt, but I had hoped that it was just something that would go away with time. I figured you just needed some time to fall into us, you know? To get comfortable. It’s been two months and I can’t ignore it anymore. I think you just really need him.”

“I do love you.” you said quietly, unable to deny anything else he’d said.

“I know. Maybe one day we’ll have our time, but it’s just not right now.”

For more than one reason you started to feel anxious, like you needed to leave very suddenly. You looked from your hands, wringing in your lap, to Hoseok, “I should go.”

“You don’t have to leave. You’re obviously more than welcome to stay and finish dinner.” He took a moment to read your face and then nodded in realization, “Oh, gotcha.”

He helped you pack up your backpack with some of the things you’d accumulated at his place. T-shirts, underwear, toothbrush, some dvds. Suddenly it felt like a real breakup. Once you had everything you stood together on the sidewalk in front of the apartment building. You gave him his apartment key back and he gave you yours.

He placed his hands on your shoulders, smiling, always smiling, “We had fun.”

“I’m sad.” you finally admitted.

“But mostly relieved?” he asked. You nodded. He knew you too well.

“You’re the most amazing human I have ever met in my life.” You said genuinely, “You’re probably the better man. I should pick you. If I had any sense I would.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the better man.” he grinned and pulled you in for a tight hug, “But that’s not how this works.”

“Okay,” you sighed as he released you from his embrace. “Thank you, for everything. I love you.”

“I love you too. Text me when you get there, so I know you got there safe. Call me in a couple weeks, let me know how things are going. We can get lunch then. I’m not going to lose you just because I’m losing you.”

“Deal.” you smiled with the knowledge that he meant it and pressed a kiss on his cheek before finally leaving.

~

By the time you reached his apartment you weren’t much more than a bundle of nerves. Standing in front of the door for quite some time, with your key ready in your hand. You could hear them jangle at your side as you shook. Your stomach felt tight and you worried you were going to be sick. Suddenly you wished you’d called first.

You’d had this romanticized idea of how everything would happen but now that you were standing here you were worried. What if you were too late and he didn’t want you back anymore? What if he wasn’t home? Changed the locks? Worse even, what if he was home and you walked in on him fucking someone new.

Then you’d suffer through the pain of it just like he did. You thought to yourself.

When you got the key in the lock and gave it a turn, the door clicked open and a bit of relief washed over you. Your key still worked. You opened the door and stepped inside, quickly turning to shut the door and lock it. Instinctually you wanted to kick off your shoes by the door, but you’d wait. You took several deep breaths, willing your panic to dissipate.

Your breath caught in your chest when you turned around. Your eyes filled to the brim with tears at the mere sight of him. He was sitting on the couch, looking over his shoulder at you with eyes wide with surprise, a spoon hanging out of his mouth. Your love for him hit so hard it was overwhelming and you genuinely thought you might faint.

“Hi.” you barely breathed out the word.

Lifting his hand he pulled the spoon from his mouth and swallowed whatever had been on it. He tilted his head towards the television. “Just started.”

He continued to watch you silently as you kicked off your shoes and threw your backpack into the chair next to the couch. You climbed onto the cushions next to him, slipping your arms around him and holding on like your life depended on it. Without a single word you rested your head on his shoulder, and then you waited. You weren’t sure what for. Maybe for him to say something, to bring up the last two months. Ask what you were doing there, what it meant. Surely he had questions for you or a piece of his mind to offer. So you waited.

After a minute of silence Changkyun dug his spoon into the bowl on his lap. Ice cream, sherbert. He lifted a spoonful out of the bowl and brought it to your lips. You opened your mouth to accept. His lips pressed against the top of your head in a kiss as he fed you, and you squeezed him closer.

“I missed you.” he said quietly before getting himself a spoonful of ice cream.

You let out a sigh of absolute relief and really sunk into him, “It’s good to be home.”

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/11/18 7:47

okay, lets talk. 

Ive had an emotional 24 hours. I’ve been anxious, i’ve been insecure, i’ve been angry and sad and hurt and manic and crazy and i need to get it out so i can fucking cleanse and move into my weekend.

It started with spencer, what like, 2 nights ago now? i dont remember when it was, but i was getting insecure and noticing how i was affecting him. it was yesterday, cuz it was wednesday. i was insecure and didnt want him to leave my room and i think i really stressed him out because i just wanted him to stay and say the things i wanted to hear, but that isnt reality. he cant read my mind, he cant know what i need to hear, thats why i need to communicate and not just suck into myself and away from him, but i didnt want to do that because i didnt want to be crazy, but then i got crazy and i made him kinda late because he dropped by at 3:30 and only expected to stay till 4 but he left at 6:27 as i needed to go to my 6:30 lab.. so i feel bad but i just agh i couldnt let him leave when i didnt feel good..

i didnt feel good because we talked about politics. he got me going on the wage gap, so i got heated talking about the misconceptions and he was (respectfully) arguing with me because he is suuupperrrr super liberal, very very left, very socialist, and he’s a politics major, so he’s well versed and i get that going in, but i also wanted to share my side because im fairly moderate; i dont believe in a lot of feminist rhetoric, or the wage gap stuff. i read the study, and it bothers me that people misuse the statistics to say that women get paid less for the same job, because that is NOT what the study found. The point was that women take different kinds of jobs than men and tend to work less hours and have less education and qualifications. THAT is the ‘feminist’ issue, not paying women less for the same job because thats illegal and cant happen. 

Heres the thing. I know there are sexist issues in our society. i know that it is harder for women than it is for men. but frankly, i feel better ignoring it as much as i can. i feel like if we keep telling women than they shouldnt be scientists because its a man job, or that society tells women that they need a leg up, because then we start believing it and internalizing and thinking we are less than men. i feel like if we just stopped talking about it, i wouldnt know that there was a gender discrepancy and id feel totally normal getting into stem. i dont want to feel like im some anomaly. and frankly yes, i notice sometimes. i notice the gender divide in stem. of fucking course i see it. i know that there are men in my neuroscience lab who think i dont know shit. im not blind, i know the STEM field is misogynistic. i know it is. but i dont like to subscribe to the feminist thing that im so held down and its because im a woman. but thats just me

anyway, my babe is very liberal and he was listening of course but also making sure i knew that the problems im ignoring are still there, which i appreciate but i also get kinda irritated with hyper liberal men because it sounds kinda guilty? like listening to a straight white man say that straight white men are the problem, annoys me. like yes thats true, but also ugh its annoying. i hate the men shame that feminism encourages.

so we kinda went back and forth for a while, which like, good that we can have real conversations, and politics is something that will inevitably come up, but as the conversation went on, i started getting insecure and anxious because confrontation scares me. not that he was really even confronting me? like spencer is such a sweet man, he’s gentle and kind and supportive and so sweet to me, and i know politics is literally his thing, and im glad that he’s super liberal as opposed to the other end. cuz like ya i am a queer woman and im glad that he seems like a strong advocate for minority groups like that, so like im glad, but i also started to feel like he was frustrated with me for like being ill informed.

 heres the thang tho, im not really ill informed. ive done my research, i watch the news, and im a big fan of shoe0nhead which admittedly is very moderate bias media, but its content i agree with. and i was telling him that im fairly moderate, and he was like ya i can tell, and i was like and politics isnt really my thing, and he was like ya i can tell. but i didnt mean that like i didnt understand politics, i meant it as like i try not to really get into the conversation (partially because of sarah lawrence)

no wait i did tell him that. i told him how involved i was in social justice stuff in new york, that i literally led the anti Trump protest in NYC after he was elected. and when i told him that, he got all dreamy eyed like it was so attractive that his girlfriend was an activist, which is cute n whatever, cuz everything he does is cute..

the point is, that after this conversation i was insecure because i felt like he would be mad at me (he wasn’t) or that he would hate me (he doesn’t). and i know that logically of course, but still... ugh idk, the conversation just got me riled up and then he had to leave town for the whole weekend and i was feeling like we wouldnt have enough time to resolve it

but he kept saying everything was fine, that he wasn’t mad, that he might disagree, but still loves me duh. and i know he meant it, but u know when you get in your head and youre like shit i said too much, and now he will never look at me the same because we slightly disagree about politics, like my moms dating a republican and they reallllyyy disagree on politics, like i will be fine! whats yer issue self?

but ya so i just felt insecure, and i know he was trying to comfort me even tho i didnt let on thaaat much that i was hurting. i feel like when people i love get confrontational with me (which again, he wasn’t) i get upset and my heart feels heavy and it hurts and i want them to leave and i would have just ended our hangout because we both had places to be and whatever we’ll deal with it later, but i knew he was leaving tonight and was gunna be busy and we couldnt deal with it so i was scared and when my attachment feels insecure, i get SO insecure. hahahaaaa i was thinking this relationship would be any different? gurl.

but heres the thing, he is.. he’s fine. he doesnt think anything is wrong and he’s still my sweet pea boyfriend. and i know that now, because i did get to say goodbye in a good re-establishing way tonight.

i knew he was leaving after his class at 6:30 tonight and i was nervous because i knew he was gunna be busy with packing up and everything.

i ran into him walking to class and we were fine and kissy and cute and i love him but as we were parting i was like can i say goodbye before you leave, but i dont think he heard me cuz he didnt really respond because we were diverging and he was giving me his sweet boy eyes with an outstretched arm as we parted and i was like shit im still insecurrrreeee

so i texted him during the first class like “hey i meant cant i say goodbye before you hit the road but sounds like yer gunna be busy so have a great weekend baby i love you!” and i meant it, i wanted to end on a good note but then he didnt respond all day, and my anxiety was mounting and i spent the rest of today in my room doing nothing but stressing about him. stressing about a boy, nothing new for me.

but eventually i got really tired and took a real nap, i had accepted that i wouldnt see him again.. sad.. i woke up at like 7:15 and i was like hmm let me see if his car is still here, ya know, cuz im crazy. i went downstairs to fill up my water bottle and his car was still in the parking lot. so ya know, i text him, cuz im crazy. and i was like drive safe babe <3 and then as i got back to my room there he was outside my door with bags in his arm to pack up his car and i was so effing relieved to see him. we hugged and kissed and he seemed genuinely happy to see me and i was so happy to get to have a moment with him before he left.

i walked him down to his car, and filled up his water bottle for him and once everything was in his car, he just kissed me.. and i know im a hopeless romantic, but i was so happy to just kiss him and feel his lips smiling and feel his arms around me and hear him giggle and be adorable.. 

my heart still hurts, but it’s different now. my heart hurts because I miss him. i already miss him even though he only just left. he’ll be gone until monday night and i might not even see him then because he’ll be exhausted, which is fair. but now im sad because ill just miss him. i know he’ll be camping and among friends and nerding out on his larping camp vacation is fresno. of course ill miss him.. because i love him..

as we were kissing by his car i was like be safe (cuz his larping thing is basically nerd war with foam weapons) and he was like “yeah i will, cant wait to see you when i get back”, and i was like yeah babe ill be here to patch you back together when you get back, and he kinda laughed at me and was like “i dont think that’ll be your intention when i get back” implying that ill probably just want to rough him up immediately when i see him like i usually do. which made me really really happy to hear cuz it was like acknowleding that everythings still good and we’re still crazy about each other and we’ll just want to fuck as soon as he’s home which is sweet to me, like to me thats such a sweet sentiment. and i just got so happy that he in his own way reminded me that like we’re still on a good track, and we’re still happy, and he still loves me, ya know?

and also as we were hugging and kissing i started scratching his back how he likes and he sorta moaned and was like “ugh im really gunna miss this.. like im gunna miss you of course, but im gunna miss your back scratches” and that made me happy.. 

he just makes me happy.. i really love him and i’m really grateful that i got to have this brief reconnection with him before he left town till monday.. 4 days without him is gunna suck, but i know he’s gunna be busy and probably not have service and be off the grid so we won’t talk unless he reaches out. but i will manage. he managed for 4 days while i was camping, so i can manage while he is nerd camping

omigod that reminds me how much i love him, again. he’s nerd camping. ugh i adore him

he was like babe you gotta come next time so we can get drunk and fight together and he was all smiley like he really wants to show me off at his nerd event which is so sweet.. and as he walked me back to the dorm entrance cuz i forgot my key, he called me his girlfriend, and even though its small, its something.. i’ll take it. 

i needed that brief little reconnection. the next 4 days i will have to detox. i have events planned like every day, so i’ll be fine. im gunna see my friends tomorrow and saturday night and i have chapter on sunday and should probably spend some time alone writing and detoxing and getting back to myself and feeling independent. 

i want time to shower and braid my hair and brush my teeth and feed my body good food and watch youtube and write. i need to stay writing. i need to keep journaling because i know how much it helps me. i need to get my emotions out and analyze why the things that upset me get to me. whats the root of the problem and how to get through it. i need that.

i was and still am so frustrated with myself that i got so insecure over one political conversation with spencer. like... thats a problem, ya know? 

and at least now that he’s out of town for the whole weekend, i dont really have an excuse for being anxious about seeing him? cuz he just drops by and i never know when cuz he doesnt text me first. like literally tonight as we were kissing outside my room he was like i came by earlier but you werent home, and i was like oh shit i was taking a nap and i slept through him coming to visit me :(( which is like oh my god that would have been so sad if i didnt get to see him on his way out because i was literally asleep! 

his dropping by, while its the cutest ever because it just like him wanting to see me, its also kind of stressful because i never know when its gunna happen, so whenever im home, im kind of anxious because he could drop in at any second, and of course i get happy when he does because then i get to see my baby, but alsoooooo it means i cant really indulge in my personal space because it could be interupted at any moment, and as i found out tonight, i cant take naps because then i could miss him :(

thats probably something we should discuss at some point, because it creates anxiety for me that is related to spencer, and i want to eliminate any bad vibes from my relationship

relationship.. he’s my boyfriend.. ohmigod wuuuuuuut im still shocked that he wanted to boo me up this much.. he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy ugh

i love him.. i need to get over this dumb insecurity that comes from mild confrontation? that wasnt even confrontation??

so lets remember the things to look forward to about this relationship

he loves me. he claims me proudly as his girlfriend. he wants to bring me to belegarth events, even this day one in san diego where he’d bring me home and introduce me to his home friends which is pretty huge.. he’s sweet, he likes spending time with me and he drops by frequently and stays for hours.. we’re good, and i know i sound crazy needing to convince myself, but thats because i dont want to bug him to validate me, especially not when he has this big event that he’s so excited for. and i want him to be excited for his event and feel secure with me, because of course i love him and want to be with him.

10:53pm i keep taking breaks from the journaling, i get distracted really easy, watching youtube and texting people.. trying to be social, its hard for me. also trying to bury my spencer texts, just cuz i know im crazy and i want to try to not think about him..

do i go walk down to the cooler to get food? or should i just subside on whatevers in my fridge.. also i really should fill up my tank.. and calculate the gas so my friends can reimburse me.. sigh

anyway, i think im feeling mostly better after yesterday. like obviously im still gunna think about it, and ill always worry if spencers as invested as me, but i gotta take it with the context that he was the one who pursued me and crushed on me from day one and wanted to date me and wanted to be exclusive with me and wanted to call me his girlfriend.. he says he loves me and he comes to visit me all the time and spends his free time with me.. he’s a sweet pea and i shouldnt be insecure about it

and not to be cryptic, but what am i even worried about? part of me was reluctant to even get into a relationship, and was supposed to be single and focusing on myself and if anything, dating women. i accidentally caught feels for an amazingly sweet nerd man, and believe me im happy about it. i love spending time with spencer and loving on him. but to be cryptic for just a second.. worst case scenario? he’s just not interested anymore and we break up. sooo? ya that would suck, and i would be heartbroken, but i would also be okay because i have good friends and the whole point of breaking up with ryan was to be single.. so..

anyway, i should probably wrap up this journal entry cuz its long and all over the place

omigod he just texted me

aww he’s letting me know that he got to his thing safely and he loves me

seeee he’s a sweet bean, yall are fine, can you chill now? he’s so into you and you dont need to be insecure about this right now

and wow i sound crazy writing this much, i’ve literally been writing for hours. i know i need to journal more, and this is literally just stream of consciousness for hours and hours.. alright, ima end here and do hw maybe..

stay grateful. stay happy. life is good, you are blessed. friends are good. boyfriend is good. school is good for now kinda haha but i need to stay positive! yes i have bad days, yes i have low points, yes i get insecure and sad and upset and lonely. but i am so very lucky to be alive and to be surrounded by support and love and to feel and give love freely. i am lucky to have found friends i can trust. i am lucky to still have my close friends from beyond this year of oxy. i am beyond lucky to have an incredible man in my life. and also its halloween season which means lots of fun family stuff and so many fun parties on and off campus and looking forward to showing off my jessica rabbit costume and seeing spencers cowboy beebop costume and just drooling over each other ^-^ 

it is going to be a great rest of this month, and after this is november, which means thanksgiving and family stuff, and better fall weather hopefully and that means getting spencer to wear more sweaters.. mmmph and then after that is december which means holiday season, and more family stuff, and of course, finding a time to see spencer and be cozy and watch christmas movies and again, get him into more sweaters.. mmmmmmmph yes babe

there is so much to look forward to!! events and planning christmas presents for people omigod im gunna start that note on my phone, theres so much to do!! cuz i also have so many new great friends for this holiday season which means more presents for people which im always excited about :) and getting to watch my puppy grow up and see my family and take in the quality time together <3 

i am loved. i am blessed. i am grateful. i want to spread love and positive vibes and happiness and love! so much love :)

okay. that’s all for tonight. shower, brush teeth, go to sleep. take care of yourself. LOVE

[bright-hao]

soft bias tag

okay, its been ages since i did a tag on here!! but my hermanita @hocidi(or hijita now? since you call me mom?) tagged me to do this soft bias tag!

my ult is still minghao, but bc most of this is romantic stuff(and i dont really have a lot of romantic feelings for hao) i’m gonna do my other best boy, seungkwan 

Who is your bias: Boo Seungkwan of Seventeen

What made you notice them: I always loved seungkwan, its so funny cause at first i used to be like “oh i wish seungkwan was my twin” and as time went on it was like “yes, seungkwan and i would be best friends we’d be a killer duo” but like...by the time boom boom era came around and he dyed his hair blond the first time? fuck dude, i knew i was in love. very specifically there’s one photo (here) that always comes to mind when i think about first falling head first for him, and well. now he’s my guy.

what’s your favorite thing about them: boy, everything! physically, i love his cheekbones/jaw combo, people really dont pay enough attention to his bone structure. and personality wise, i love his ability to just talk and command all the attention in a room if he wants to,especially because it’s not in a scary, authoritative way, and i feel it makes people comfortable while they also respect him and hold him in high esteem bc of it. I personally have a close relationship with words, so to see the abilities he has with just his everyday speech is...spectacular

who would initiate skinship more: i think both of us, but in different ways? i feel like i would initiate a lot of smaller touches, just so we can be in constant contact, and also id probably spend a lot of time thinking about something before i do it, but i feel like seungkwan would be like hey! let’s hug, and we’d...hug. he’d probably initiate bigger things, like hugging and hand holding, and it’d be more spontaneous for him.

who would hog the blankets more:  i don’t really feel cold easily and tend to get warmer as the night goes on, so what might really happen is seungkwan will often wake up buried under all the blankets because i pushed them over to his side in the middle of the night

who would be more clingy:   earlier on, it would be him, bc i dont let myself get overly attached to people, but maybe if we spend years together and i get used to him/his constant presence in my life, things might change

who would say I love you first:  oooohhh this one’s tricky. if i feel like he’s still sorting through his feelings and commitments, i’ll wait for him to say it first, but if i feel sure about him and where his heart is at, i’ll say it as soon as possible. possibly way earlier than most people would. it’s not a big deal to me when the words drop(bc it’s really not about words anyway for me, its about proving it with your actions, and if he loves me i should know even without him saying it), but if it is for him then i guess i’d wait til he felt right about it. granted, i think the more open you are to begin with the faster seungkwan himself would open up, so maybe it’ll just be a toss up bc we’ll both already be on the same page.

who would be more easily flustered: i’m a confident gay, so like, it would definitely be me making him flustered as much as i can for fun.

What cuddling position would you two have: okay, so here’s what i’m thinking: he’s mostly on his back, however he’s comfy, and i’m curled up at his side with one leg thrown over him and he has one arm around/under me, and my head is either next to his on the pillow or on his shoulder (like this). we can reverse the positions too we’re flexible

which colors remind you of them and why:  sunset colours!! i often call him my sunset boy, so sunset colours, and very specifically all shades of orange, make me think of him. they’re just...warm and sweet but also fiesty and bold colours which is...him in print.

which season would you like to spend with them: uhhh all of them for the rest of my life? Idk, I feel stupid answering this since I live in a tropical country but...mm, maybe the time period where it's not quite spring yet but it's not really winter anymore...like, imagine going on a road trip and you get to see the landscape change from white and snowy to bare for a little while and then everything blooms. gorgeous. i wanna do that with him. or maybe the summer season in the arctic where it’s light out 24 hours a day. or just mango season here in trinidad

who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter: seungkwan would probably make the decision for us to bake cookies together bc it’ll be a fun bonding experience or whatever, but he doesnt really know what he’s doing, so i have to give him all the instructions and explain everything to him, and then i let him struggle with all the dirty work and look on and occasionally snatch bits of the dough to ‘make sure it’s coming out right’

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react: i dont really do puns, so it’ll have to be him. he probably spends all his alone time trying to come up with them. over text, he might get a eye roll emoji or a ‘why are you like this’, in person i’d probably just ignore it completely and continue the conversation like it never happened. (which might make him pouty, but pouty seungkwan is adorable, so either way i win)

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a poptart and who come to the rescue: i’m brown and poor poptarts have never been a thing in my house, so i suppose it’ll be me who screws up. wake up in the middle of the night hungry so i sneak into the kitchen as quiet as possible, not even turning on any lights, put the thing in the microwave for way longer than its supposed to be. when it explodes seungkwan runs outside half asleep bc he wants to know who got shot. he cleans the mess bc he loves me and tells me to leave the pop tart prep to him in the future. 

who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back: it would be me, adrenaline junkie and lover of risks and high places, leaning over the railing of a tall building like ‘omg, i could jump right now it would be like flying’ seungkwan would drag me away and probably sit me down and lecture me about it too

what would you watching a horror film with them be like: i would never watch a horror movie, lol. next question.

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt: i think we could both be cheesy when we wanted to, but maybe more him than me since he’s the king of cheese. flirting is one of my favourite pastimes, so i’d probably be a decently smooth flirt. as earlier mentioned, my greatest joy would be seeing him flustered and at a loss for words bc of just how smooth i am 

who is more competitive: oh we are BOTH very competitive, it’s super fun when we’re playing a game or a sport and we’re on the same side and trying to crush the opponents, but i think we try to get on opposite teams bc its ten times more fun to try and beat each other. like just the thought of being better at him at something is already exhilarating to me ;;;)))))))

who would have to be given constant reminders: for tasks that are hard/uninteresting, i’ll have to have him remind me cause i’ll find 500 things that are more interesting to distract me when i just need to suck it up and get the thing done, and i’ll need the nudge. when it comes to just forgetting, i’ll probably have to remind him bc it totally slipped his mind.

who sends memes and who sends cute I miss you text at 3 am: he definitely sends the memes, im way too lazy to save them on my phone and then have to go looking for one that’s appropriate, that’s a lot of work. i’m happy to receive them though. and uhh...i wouldn’t send anyone a text like that at 3am and i wouldn’t like to receive one either, and i would tell him that. emotions get weird and warped at that hour, and i dont trust them on a regular basis, much less at 3 o’clock in the morning. i say, hold it in for now and if you still feel the same at 10am? then you go ahead and tell me you miss me. BUT if i get a message at 10am from seungkwan saying he misses me/loves me/is thinking of me? i would be on a cloud for the entire day.

this was really fun! my heart is warrrrrrrrrmmmm and ive been in soft stan mode for the past two days cause of it. so now i’m gonna tag @woozifi @minigum @mvpgyu @pabospoiler @seonyein @szrw @witchzi @yookik have fun friends!