#But it's still on me. I wasn't normal

[zoey-angel]

Do you ever feel so deeply about a crush and then it's like. Okay but I'm actually not insane. I'm actually chilling. And it ruins your excitement? I'm fine. I don't like him enough to be a ghoul but that's not satisfying! I miss being insane. Like bro last time I had a crush I fucking faked being kinky, faked liking gore, fucking faked my IDs (to be fair I already had them but that's not what they're for) and flew to another country and lied for my safety and got my mom involved and kissed a guy I didn't even like to get another guy?? and now with my crush no matter how much I like him it's still never that fucking bad T_T

Like no matter what I do I just can't top me of a couple years ago with a burning heart, completely in love, and I guess therapy does that but also I feel so much less valid in liking him bc he's too sane to make me consider dropping everything and buy him a house or some shit. He just wants normal dates strawberry picking (season starts next week!!) and I'm so happy but also bored??

And I feel guilty bc sometimes I forget that the way I used to feel isn't normal attachment and then I doubt my current attachment and I wonder if I'm leading him on, bc I don't love him the same, and maybe that means I don't like him at all? But I do, I want to be with him all the time it's just so different and calm.

And okay yes my therapist DID say I need to stop dating narcissists bc I may like feeling needed and being lovebombed and dating people with issues makes everything more interesting and passionate but it's making me worse mentally, evidently, I went to comical lengths like a goddamn fanfic character,

And I end up feeling bored with this guy who's a goddamn dream bc I can't have the emotional rollercoaster and he doesn't give me that dopamine Rush and stuff but he's so gentle with me and I don't want to lose him either 🥹

It's like I'm growing but experiencing growing pains as I realize that being an adult is a lot more boring and I have to lean into it rather than back out of it, I have to be normal in order to get the happy ending I wanted with a family and kids. Life isn't a TV drama and I can't always lie and act crazy for love, that kind of love is sick and twisted anyway.

I'm just so frustrated with myself, and embarrassed about all the shit I used to do, and I don't really know how I'm feeling anymore but I HAVE to know bc atp he's still my crush but we've been going out so how long do I really have before he wants to make it official? I don't know if I'm ready I don't know if I'll end up letting him down bc he's just not insane enough for me.

Sorry this is a rant atp I just had to vent somewhere bc aaaaaaaa

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4.5: Morning Period.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

[darkeneddawning]

Escaped clone au

You know all those fics where Danny and Damian are twins but everyone first assumes Danny must be a clone? How about an au where Danny is Damian's clone who escaped the League after he was assumed dead. Damian could even have been the one to have "killed" him, back when Danny was a newly created, fully brainwashed clone minion and trying to kill Damian himself.

Danny gets adopted by the Fentons and canon goes on as normal, until Dan. Witnessing what would happen to the world should he turn evil really drove home to Danny how dangerous he is.

Even if he was confident he could be trusted with his absurd amount of power (which he isn't), what if the League of Assassins found out about him? Does he still have programming triggers from his evil assassin clone conditioning?

So, Danny does the responsible thing: he goes to Batman to turn himself in.

Cue Danny showing up on Bruce's doorstep with ghost hunting equipment, intel on the afterlife, and an almost unbelievable backstory. Somehow he still managed to be more well-adjusted than Damian.

More thoughts under the read more

Here's how I'm thinking Danny leaving the League went down:

After surviving his wounds but failing his mission, Danny (then an unnamed potential Damian replacement) knew there was no point in returning to the League. As a failure, he was meant to be disposed of. He even thought of simply allowing himself to perish, since that was what the League would do.

But he couldn't help but feel as though that would be a waste of a resource. Surely he could be of more use to the League alive than dead?

That tiny bit of rebellious logic is what caused Danny to go into hiding, only living on based on the off chance he would find opportunities to further the League's goals. Obviously, that mentality didn't last long after being exposed to the real world and meeting one Jazz Fenton.

Being adopted by the Fentons was the best cover Danny could have asked for, since any odd behavior he couldn't hide while he was learning how to be "normal" was totally overshadowed by the sheer bizarre eccentricity of his new parents. He was still the neighborhood weird kid, but even that was a major upgrade from disposable tool, so Danny considered it a win.

Anyway, if anyone likes this idea, please feel free to have at it! Interpret it as you please :)

[ruporas]

all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)

[transmasc-rose]

I'm thinking about the horror of the Doctor from the perspective of non-companions again, especially as it relates to people those companions know.

Rose? "Ran away" (not wrong) for "a year" (a week) with a "man" (alien) "twice her age" (approximately 50 times her age but yeah, he is Time Lord middle aged), and then gives absolutely no explanation for how or why that happened, except that she was "travelling".

Then when her mum does get an explanation (which, frankly, is only comforting because of the unfamiliarity of the alternative given. The devil you know.), Rose barely checks back in.

She almost dies for him. When she thinks he's dead, she's changed in a way her family doesn't know how to handle. Then she's gone for who knows how long and comes back with the Doctor wearing a new face.

When her original tenure as a companion ends, and Rose lives in Pete's World, she works for Torchwood/UNIT (they become the same organization). She volunteers for the Dimension Cannon. She explains to the alternate earth how to rig up a time machine.

She's changed in ways that no one else can really understand.

Amy? There's everything with River Song of course (though I'm still not there in my viewing), him running away with Amy the night before her and Rory's wedding, and also the connection between the Doctor and the Time Crack being the reason all of Amy's family's dead. Obvious stuff.

However he's also the strange man who broke into this child's house and made a mess of her life that she never got over, that promised to take her away from here, that she wrote about and drew and carved and made her friends dress up as.

And they sent her to psychiatrist after psychiatrist without any help. In their perspective, to work through what she imagined. In her perspective, to tell her that her reality wasn't real.

And then he comes back.

And to some extent, later, when he shows himself to everyone, isn't that more frightening? That the story your child told you, of the strange man she met as a child, of time travel, of nearly being stolen away, hadn't been a lie, or a misinterpretation, or an imagining?

And so he shows up at her wedding. And steals her away again.

Donna I feel like has the least horror until her final episode. I think exploring the in between section of her meeting the Doctor and finding him again would be interesting, but not exactly horror. More an exploration of how obsessive the companions can get about him, how it eats their whole lives with even one encounter, even as it makes them better people.

And then, obviously, the horror of having your mind altered and erased against your will by someone you trusted. For your own good, of course. Because he knows best. How could you know better than him? He's ancient. He's practically all knowing.

Shouldn't you be grateful?

(And he's forgiven.)

[buttercupshands]

Finished themmm

Accidentally

I planned on going to bed early as a celebration, but then I looked at my unfinished pf of Siffrin in the sketchbook and boom couple of hours of sketching, lining and coloring and the beans are now officially paper figured

I can now randomly take photos of them in a forest whenever I feel like it. I have couple pfs on me every day just in case of this happening

[celtrist]

I really want to see a more fucked up version of Charlie in canon. Like, okay, I am a die-hard for sweet bubbly girls in media. But I always see how some people make Charlie actually, oh I dunno... demonic? And it's so refreshing for her type of character. I could honestly see her having low empathy (and we kinda see this with how she handled Angel's situation or even Vaggie's nervousness about taking control on an activity). An exploration of that trait (if it was intended) would be interesting to see for a protagonist, especially when her main goal is about helping others. I would love to see her actually have a level of difficulty in understanding others' feelings from the other residents, sinners, and even her father.

But give her a fucked up side. Not a "she gets more power when she's angey uwu", but a "oh, she's a little fucked in the head". It would give so much to her character that she just doesn't have.

@/murmurmurena (don't wanna bother them so slash there we go) has some fun ideas with Charlie. I highly encourage people to check their stuff out! So many fun dark ideas with her character while also still keeping to her canon personality pretty well! Personally, I think Charlie being a bit more naive to her own messed up traits would work best but her also being aware of these traits can make for some interesting character for her.

THIS FIC, "A Game Between You and I". RIGHT HERE WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER. A bit of spoil for the fic here: but I love how they handled Charlie’s absolute ignorance as to why the idea of Russian roulette is horrifying to Angel Dust. It doesn't feel like her being intentionally malicious or aware that she's the odd man out here. This is also a pretty old fic going by only the pilot, but the point still stands that it was such a fun take for her character!

Charlie is one of my favorite characters in the show in part of the POTENTIAL she could have as being the most bubbly sweetheart character while also being the most messed up character in the show. I can't say I have strong confidence with the show's writing and fully expect them to stick with Charlie being the "nice girl but oh no, don't get her angry or she gets scarwy". Which isn't bad for a character mind you, there's just so much more potential to Charlie outside of that trope, especially when you get into the theories of her either being a doll, Roo's biological daughter, or what have you. And for the MAIN CHARACTER of the show, it would be not only interesting but also bring the spotlight back to her.

There's really no question that the side characters steal the show, particularly all the male characters. If I'm honest, Charlie does not feel like she gets a lot of love from the show itself when she's supposed to be the main character. She feels far more flat compared to the rest of the characters (again, the male cast in this "female-lead" show has more depth than most of the female cast currently. I wouldn't be pointing this tidbit concerning the genders of characters if it weren't for the fact Viv defended Helluva's lack of development with their female cast by saying "Hazbin is a female-lead show and Helluva is a male-lead" and Hazbin ended up with it not feeling female lead (to me) and the male cast just completely stealing the show. I don't normally care about gender stuff, especially since I do personally lean interest towards male characters. But using one show as a defense for poor development of the female characters, and then that show not really holding up with no very interesting well-developed feeling female characters irritates me. It's just very clear that these shows don't seem to care much about the female cast :/)

If you like how Charlie is written that's totally fine. PERSONALLY, I just think they're missing so much opportunity with her character by just making her the standard female character type. I honestly don't have a lot of faith they'll actually do something with Charlie's character though. She's a pretty static character in S1 being the same from start to end. Not changing or learning anything to create any development. What does the end of season Charlie do that start of season Charlie wouldn't do? Fight back? Because we see with the pilot (which is the “first episode”) that Charlie does fight people if pushed like with Katie Killjoy and even Valentino. Static characters can work in media depending on the show or their role. But Charlie is the MC of a show about “bettering one's self”. So to have her as a static with not a lot of strong dilemmas for herself (like we see with Angel Husk Al and even Vox) seems silly. Plus, considering Hazbin is telling a whole story and it's not a fun episodic thing, characters are expected to grow on some level. Or else, what was the point of their hero's journey?

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

[jackfromthefairytale]

BAD OMENS x ERRA – ANYTHING > HUMAN [LIVE 2024]

[marclef]

guess who's (slowly) comin' back baby

wanted to try making the squishy boy more expressive 🤗

[curioscurio]

Just started generic vyvanse and wow. No wonder it changed lives. They say it lasts more than 4 to 6 hours and then it DOES? Most adhd meds I've tried will wear off in 4 or 5 hours, so I'd often have to take another dose later in the day, but this shit keeps me going for a good 10-13 hours!

(This is just my experience! I'm just a guy I'm not a doctor disclaimer so uh don't take my word as law lol)

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

I would be really interested to know if N.D. Stevenson planned for Nimona to have been Gloreth's monster from the beginning (i.e. the comic) because like

Until recently my headcanon for C! Nim's powers were that she was a normal little girl who became possessed during a traumatic childhood experience, and that possessing entity gave her immortality and powers but it made her potentially dangerous to herself and others (like an allegory for some mental illness) and that at some point in the past, that same entity possessed Gloreth because to me, that's what the narrative seemed to imply

However, I recently read an interview where Stevenson states that C!Nimona was not possessed. I also saw an ask he'd answered on Tumblr where someone had asked if Nimona was a descendant of Gloreth or if Gloreth's monster had anything to do with her (this was pre-movie) and he just answered "She is not a descendant of Gloreth" Without elaborating further. This kinda (to me?) implies that maybe she was always meant to have existed for a crazy long time (1000+ years) and that like the movie, she was the monster Gloreth fought.

But this seemed to me not to be the case, because the flashback of her REAL backstory doesn't appear to take place that long ago (although because the characters wear fantasy/medieval-inspired clothes, it could have been?) it mostly just looks like it happened somewhere far out of the city/kingdom, but I don't really know

There are still differences, C! Nimona canonically has human parents and M! Nimona canonically does not, C! Nimona's powers are implied to be somewhat dark (every time she shapeshifts her entire body is destroyed and regenerated) and M! Nimona's are portrayed as overall a positive thing (I think C!'s powers represent mental illness and M!'s represent queerness, which, very different message)

I know (since he's said it multiple times) that the origin of Nimona's powers are left vague on purpose, because a part of the story's narrative (both comic and movie) is that, it doesn't really matter how it started or what caused it. She's not a monster, and the "monster" is an integral part of who she is. She's not a changeling, or possessed, or a monster, or a human, or a mythical creature of some designation, she's just Nimona.

But since in the comic we do get loredropped tidbits about how her powers work and her backstory, it really makes me lose my freaking mind when I have to try to expand upon that even slightly in fanfic, especially when Word of God seems to contradict the source material, or at least my understanding of it lmao

[notmoreflippingelves]

[aeb-art]

it's pride month, i'm allowed this indulgence

there's another teeny tiny doodle but it's unfortunately a vertical image and it's long so it's under the cut

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)