#But it's also an interaction he will (privately) cherish because...

[kelpiemomma]

Thinking about Khan and how he doesn't wake up from nightmares the way people might expect. He doesn't explode from them, swinging and breathing flame in defense. He doesn't wake up screaming.

He wakes up silent. And it's only if you're paying attention that you'll know he's awake. His eyes might open - but with his poor vision, it's not like he can truly see where he's at - and he might draw in a sudden breath. But it's the fact that he stops breathing that's the Sign. It's the way he suddenly goes quiet. Not that he snores or sleeps loudly anyway, but there is one less person making noise in the night.

Ingo isn't often awake when this happens. Very rarely, in fact, because Khan has nightmares almost every night. It's nothing new. Most of the time he will breathe, eventually, and take in the scents of his surroundings. He will realize where he is and use it to ground himself. And if he can't, then he will get up and find something to do until he can pass out from exhaustion and wake up better.

But it happens a handful of times. Ingo is awake when Khan comes to. And sometimes he doesn't realize it, doesn't realize Khan is awake until Ingo himself is returning to bed and looks down as he passes Khan's cot to see his green eyes open and staring at nothing.

But this time he realizes. He's awake, for no real reason, just sitting and listening to the world around him. Akari is snoring after a long day of survey work, Khan is sprawled out on his cot, the nocturnal pokemon are calling to each other in the distance… It's peaceful. Ingo rests with his head on one hand, eyes shut and enjoying it while he can.

And then one sound disappears.

He doesn't realize it's Khan at first, spends a moment trying to figure out what's missing. Akari is still snoring. The pokemon are still calling. Khan sleeps quietly enough that Ingo has, on occasion, put his hand under his nose or over his mouth to ensure he's still breathing. And it's that, knowing how quietly Khan sleeps, that makes ingo realize that Khan's breathing is what missing. That Khan is making no noise at all.

Ingo gets up and goes over to check, because Khan may be a prickly bastard but by now he's Ingo's prickly bastard like Akari is Ingo's daughter, he's part of the family. And sure enough Khan is awake. Eyes open wide. Staring at nothing. Ingo is ready to return to his seat when he realizes Khan is- not breathing. There's a tension to him that is abnormal, despite his nightmares.

So Ingo stays, sits down by Khan's side, and gently touches his hand. Too much touch too fast will wind up with fists flying towards him, so he takes it slow. Khan's hand is a fist. Ingo asks if he's alright, but there's no response. Khan's chest hitches, his breath sporadic for a moment, before a sound like a whine makes its way out of his throat.

And that- is so out of the norm that Ingo is now concerned. He puts a hand on Khan's arm, on his neck, as he leans over to look in the other man's face. Maybe it's the light of the night, but Khan's eyes seem… Shiny.

And this is a bad one. It doesn't take a genius to know that this is far from average. That whatever Khan has just dreamt of has truly, deeply affected him. Ingo pulls him up, pulls him into a seated position, and directs Khan's face to his own neck. Scent is Khan's strong suit, after all, and the best way to help him realize where he's at. Ingo ignores how his shirt gets a little damp- tells himself, for Khan's sake, that Khan is just drooling.

And Khan does what he never does and wraps his arms around Ingo. There's a desperation there, something terrified, and Ingo knows that this isn't something he can do on his own.

"Do you want me to wake Akari up?" He asks, because it never hurts to offer a choice.

"She's asleep." Khan says, which isn't an answer. His voice is hoarse and shakey. Ingo makes the decision for him, then, and extracates himself from Khan. Khan's hands follow him, reaching out, and Ingo is grateful for the first time his home is so small because he can hold onto Khan's one hand while he uses the other to shake his daughter awake.

Akari's snores vanish and she opens one eye halfway, confused. "Dad?" She asks. Her voice is low and thick with sleep. "Whassups?"

"Khan needs our presence. Would you mind joining us?" He says. And it's not the whole truth, but Akari wakes up more. Khan does not, ever, need anything from them. He's like a stray animal, coming to them when he chooses, but fully able and willing to survive on his own. And maybe now he still doesn't need them. If Ingo hadn't been awake, Khan would have laid there until he decided what to do. But Khan isn't making choices for himself, and Ingo knows he needs grounding.

Akari stands and Ingo helps guide her over to where Khan is still sitting. He's turned now, his legs thrown over the side of the cot as he hunches over and stares at the ground. One hand is still in Ingo's.

Akari reaches out, touches his shoulder, and that whine breaks from Khan's throat again. He leans towards Akari, rests his head against her, and then drags her onto his lap. She wraps her arms around his neck because he is gripping her so, so tightly, holding her like she's his saving grace, like if he lets her go the world will end. His shoulders shudder.

Ingo sits next to them, sliding Akari's legs over his own, and leans into Khan's side. He wraps one arm around Khan and is surprised when Khan returns the gesture, releasing Akari with one arm to pull Ingo into his reach. He is not just holding them but clinging. Ingo wonders, but doesn't ask, what he had dreamed about to make him so desperate. Ingo turns into Khan, places his legs over the man's but under his daughter's, and leans into the hold. After a moment, Khan turns his head to shove his nose into Ingo's neck once more. Akari is pressed between them, still holding onto Khan as if her hug will fix him, and Ingo knows they will both stay here as long as Khan needs them, wants them, to.

[saduko]

PAY YOUR DEBT

Lando Norris x Driver!Reader 7.6K words

Summary: Lando's Austrian crash could not have come at a worse time, and now he's scrambling to find someone to replace him in the upcoming Quadrant video. He's so lucky you care, and that you're horrible at lying. Or in which, reader takes Lando's place during Quadrants; 'Spill Your Guts', and they manage to pull some interesting information out of her.

Childhood Friends to Lovers, Pining, Slowburn

Despite having never met you, the cast of Quadrant were more than familiar with your name for one of a few reasons. The first being that, you were of course, a renowned Formula 1 driver beloved by many. The second being their own proximity with another famous Formula 1 driver who so happened to be your Mclaren teammate. 

For years they watched from a distance, saw your interviews and watched your races, cheering their team in orange on as the two of you dominated race weekends once again. It was obvious Lando was fond of you just off the way the two interacted on track, but beyond their parasocial concept of your relationship, they knew he liked you because of the sheer number of times your name was mentioned in the Quadrant circle. Lando’s inability to refrain from speaking about you was frankly an ongoing joke at this point. Though they playfully rolled their eyes at every mention of your name, they knew they couldn't necessarily criticize him for it either. Its hard not to talk about people you spend a lot of time around, and naturally, with you two being teammates and all, it wasn’t all that strange for him to want speak about you.

And when they consider the fact that your history stems way beyond just the devoted McLaren camaraderie you share, it’s hard to be mad at him when he brings you up. You two did grow up carting together after all, entering every stage of your lives with the other. You were childhood friends.

Except they had also spent a lot of time with Lando. Yeah, you might work with him, but so do they, and they knew he wasn't just talking about you because you were around often. They knew he wasn't just mentioning you because you grew up swerving along the same tracks or because you now wore the same bright papaya orange.

The man so obviously liked you and they all knew it. He mentioned your smile far too often to hide it, and he always seemed a bit too proud when he talked about being the reason you did. Not a single Quadrant member has ever spoken to you before, and yet somehow each one could articulate the way your eyes crinkled tight when you laughed or how your lips pursed hard when you found something funny but didn't want to show it.

He liked you, even if he denied it.

And so the Quadrant cast begged and begged to meet you. Eager to see the woman who has evidently captured the man's attention, despite his insistence to the contrary to no avail. Though, their efforts hadn't entirely fallen on deaf ears; in fact, Lando had been trying to get you in a Quadrant video since he founded the damn company, begging for nearly four years, only to be met with the same dismissive glare from your gleaming eyes every time.

“One day, Lando. Not today.” 

One day, you would say. Though he’s starting to think one day is no day at all. In your defense, opportunities away from the relentless gaze of the media are far and few between and the brief moments of peace you manage to find are precious. The thought of spending that private time filming yet another video for millions to watch has never been particularly enticing. As much as you care for Lando, sometimes you cherish your downtime just a little bit more.

But... this time he was stressed, and you could see it. He was supposed to film a Quadrant video this week. Finally home in London for this week’s Grand Prix, at last, he was able to put a little more effort into his personal business. It was one of the very few times a year he was able to participate in the creative side of the brand. The whole video had been planned, written, set up and was ready to be shot. The date was set, it was finally coming together. But then Lando crashed. He crashed in Austria and now his work at Mclaren had essentially been doubled for Silverstone week and he had no time to film. And now all the week’s worth of effort put into preparing the video had been flung out the window. It was supposed to be yet another spill your guts video focused on Lando and his career but now with last week's events disrupting this week's schedule, they were going to have to rewrite all the questions and find someone to fill his spot.

And so you’d watched him for the past few days on calls, asking around to see who could be available on such short notice. Between his team of producers, the other members of Quadrant and possible candidates for the video, on top of the copious amounts of obligations he had at the Mclaren headquarters, you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty knowing you were spending all the current free time you had between track work lounging around the Hilton pool. You technically had no reason not to help. Changing the script wouldn’t be an easy task with the little time they had. You knew filling in meant they would have their empty spot filled and they wouldn’t need to tweak the script as much. You were a driver too, the questions they would have asked Lando still mostly applied to you as well. And you knew it’d do Lando a huge favor; lift such a massive weight off his already heavy shoulders so he could run around McLaren focusing on what actually mattered most this week - getting his car ready for the upcoming race.

And so you did it. You smiled so kindly at Lando on that faithful Wednesday afternoon and so calmly announced that if he was struggling to find a replacement, you’d be happy to help him out just this once. It was finally one day, you would take the spot for Quadrant.

Landos face had never expressed so much surprise yet simultaneous relief. And it was only a matter of seconds until Landos arm had reached entirely around your waist and your feet had left the ground. You caught a few questioning glares being sent your way from a couple Mclaren engineers in the garage, but the breath struggling to find its way to your lips at the force of it all left you unbothered. “Y/n, thank you so much, you don’t understand how much this helps me out! I owe you so bad.” 

You would never say it to him, but his smile in that moment had almost paid his debt entirely right then and there. All the nerves and doubt about the decision you just made had nearly swept right by as you watched his face light with adoration. But instead you sent him a defeated grin as he placed you down on your heels. “I’m gonna hold you to your words. I better not regret this.”

“You won't, I swear.”

__ Regret this you will. As soon as the quadrant team had received the call that in his place, Lando's fellow teammate would instead be filling in for his absence, they immediately knew this wouldn’t be the video everyone was anticipating. They would take this opportunity to finally squeeze out the information they had been waiting to know for years. This would be their first time meeting you, and god was it a gold's mine worth of an opportunity. Not only would they be able to question you about your life as an F1 driver, they could also question you about your romantic life as an F1 driver, specifically about your relationship with Lando, a topic you successfully eluded everywhere else. But this video was the perfect opportunity. They would have a polygraph on set, and you were doing Lando a favor. You couldn’t leave and most importantly, you couldn’t lie.

The topic of your love life wasn't a new one, and a flurry of greedy journalists digging for a story have attempted to ask about your potential feelings for anyone and everyone on the grid. You always denied ever liking any fellow drivers and kept adamant that your driving and personal lives stay separate. But they had Lando as a secondary source - maybe to a fault - and from everything the man had explained, there was no way you weren't at least a little into him. And they were gonna get it out of you.

Was it a bit unethical? Maybe. Was it manipulative? Perhaps. Had Lando already told them he’d cut their pay if they fucked with you. Absolutely. But he’d be fine once he hears what you would inevitably say. He could thank them after they got you to confess the crush you just had to have on Lando. 

So here you were, staring at a set full of very enthusiastic YouTubers, all beyond eager to be sharing a table with the phantom of a woman they had been hearing about for almost 4 years now.

Not only were you a talented and beloved motorsports athlete, more importantly, you were the girl their mate liked. and as a friend, they were curious, but as youtubers, they were out for blood. And if there's one thing a group of Youtubers were going to do, it was get you to admit your deepest darkest secrets for online content.

There would be no filling, only spilling, they'd be sure of that.

Oblivious as you were, despite how nervous you initially felt about participating in the video, it had been smooth sailing so far along. Everyone was nice enough and you could see why Lando enjoyed the company of these people, they were all quite funny after all, and the questions were not the absolute mood draining, time wasters you were used to receiving.

You were nervous coming into this but maybe this wouldn’t be all that bad.

The table settled from their laughter as Ria finally swallowed whatever it was she had been forced to bite into. Bull testicles? You didn’t want to know, and honestly it didn’t really matter all that much anymore because for the third time round, it was your turn again, and you were now being strapped up to the Polygraph machine.

Max Fewtrell's eyes sparked with a menacing joy as they locked with your own. He was hosting this video, meaning he was safe from the contents of the table, but more importantly, he got to interrogate the girl his best mate was into. He was the only person who knew that for a fact thanks to the multitude of conversations Lando has had with him in private, begging for advice on what to do. As bad as he felt about it, Max could never give Lando a straight answer, he didn’t know his fellow driver, didn’t know what it was she felt, and if she truly meant what she was saying in her interviews, it wasn’t looking too good for his friend.

This was finally his opportunity to help out.

“Y/n…” His voice carried menacingly around the room, dragging out each syllable to draw the suspense. You eyed him playfully, keeping your guard up as his eyes flickered from you to the card in his hand and then back up to you a few times. The last few questions had been relatively tame, all relating to your job; who your favorite team really was, who you disliked the most on the grid, (you'd had your fair few arguments with Stroll, but you bit into an 1000 year old egg because you were not going to admit it.)

A part of you hoped they were giving you easy questions because you were a guest - a good friend of Landos at that, but at the back of your mind you knew better. And that’s why when the question escaped Max’s lips, you really didn’t feel all that surprised. “Do you really mean it when you say you like to keep your professional life and your private life separate?”

Simple enough, but you were smart enough to know the implications of the question, so you hesitated. “... Yes.”

A pause, no buzz. “That’s true.” Ethan comments.

“Okay that’s too easy, let me rephrase it.” Max’s gaze bore straight into your own. “Do you really mean it when you say you don’t see any of the boys on the grid as like, candidates? You don’t find any of them attractive?”

The groan that escaped you was so inherently guttural you hadn’t even noticed you made the noise. Everyone laughed at your reaction and it seemed so light hearted on the surface, but inside your mind was beginning to race, heartbeat speeding up as if the peddle was full throttle. This was exactly what you were nervous about.

You had felt a bit uneasy once finding out a polygraph machine would be present, and crossed your fingers that the team wouldn’t get into the topic of your romantic ties with the boys on the grid. You guess your luck didn't really extend past the track. initially, no ties with the other drivers sparked any fears within you at the question. You really didn't have any romantic ideas of anyone, the others truly were just friends, boys you grew up with, some like brothers. None of the boys had ever made your eyes wander, or ever had your heart skipping beats when you made eye contact. There wasn’t a single driver you could think of that had ever made you nervous or left you hoping for anything more than just a friendship. No one except that one boy. That one stupid boy that had led you into this goddamned position in the first place. That one stupid boy who’s mates were all gathered around the table with eager eyes directed entirely towards you, waiting for an answer. This was truly your worst nightmare. Maybe you did like Lando, maybe the moment had awoken within your days in F2; seeing him grow from the scrawny kid on the track to something else entirely. So what of it? No one needed to know that. Curse you and your incessant want to help that stupid boy through his stress. Why did he need to make you care about him enough to do this? Now, you could ‘fill your guts' if you really wanted to, but with a yes or no question like this, no answer is just as much an answer in itself. You had watched this game enough to know how it worked, and so you opted to take your chances against the polygraph machine. “Yes I mean it.” One phrase. A simple phrase muttered through a guilty smile, and yet you could hear your heart through your ribs as you told the lie and it was so, so silent after that. The anticipation felt like the devil himself had engulfed the room in its glory. The faces at the table had your palms sweating further and Ginge’s ability to hold such intense eye contact left you wondering if there was more to this than it seemed. God, was this the longest 3 seconds of your life. But you were good under pressure. If you can keep your heart steady driving at 350 kilometers an hour, you could keep your heart steady enough to lie your way out of this question-

Beep.

Suddenly the room was ablaze with noise, yelling and screaming as everyone expressed their disbelief yet absolute excitement at the answer. Incoherent sentences thrown your way one on top of the other but your brain couldn’t decipher a single sentence, instead engulfed in the thought of how much this would change the way all the boys spoke to you, how Lando spoke to you, now that they knew you did like someone. You could already hear Danny’s teasing voice followed up by his sly, all knowing smirk. Fuck. Was it too late to back out? Maybe you could bribe Lando into deleting the footage. 

But as you glanced forward into Max’s eyes, you saw the silent omniscient smirk that trickled on to his face - like the calm amidst the chaos - and you knew there was no going back. You were cooked. Your face fell into the palm of your hands, sheepish laughs slipping past your lips as you spoke in a slow, bashful tone, “No! It’s-.. It’s not like that!” But damage control is useless when the damage is already done. “Oh really?!” Ginges thick accent was next to echo across the room over top all the others, “Cause it seems like you’ve been secretly canoodling with some fast bastards and lying to all us about it!”

Ethan was the first to laugh, and soon everyone else's laughter followed suit, and as defeated as you felt a loud chuckle slipped past your lips at the comment. At the very least they were being funny about it and not trying to make a huge deal of it.

However, for the time being they couldn't prove it but once you admitted it, there was no going back, so you figured doubling down and playing dumb was the best option. “No- like, okay; the boys are good looking, they're attractive but that doesn't mean I necessarily like any of them. I grew up with these boys, you know, they’re like brothers to me. Your machine is definitely bugging out or something.”

“Nah, I think it’s working fine.” The reintroduction of Max’s voice had the room settling once again. It seemed all the quadrant members were on the edge of their seats, like they had been anticipating this the whole time.

“But if you’re sure it’s not working properly, I can try asking a different question, rephrase it a little better for you?" Max's face turned towards the camera. "In fact, we have a little tradition here!” His eyes gazing through the lens as he spoke. “Spill your guts tradition says that guests have to answer the final question and rules are no eating on the last round.” Now his eyes turned to you, “Truth’s only, so I hope you have your answer ready.”

You were just moments away from opening your mouth to protest, the words at the tip of your tongue; No thanks it’s fine,’ or even just a ‘I’ve already answered two questions, it’s not my turn anymore.’ as petty as it was. But the words were never able to slip past your overly gnawed on lips before your heart was sinking to the absolute pits of your stomach. “Who do you like on the grid and why is it Lando?”

Panic. “God! No- no it’s not Lando!” Deny. “Definitely, not Lando!” Deny.

The polygraph machine was silent for a moment as everyones eyes flickered over to the screen, and you endured the tension in real time as your forehead came down, lips pursing. And yet nothing came, no beeping sound to be heard. 

To this all the boys are silent, and Ria’s eyes flicker up to Max as the man furrows his brows down. There was no way they managed to make the driver inadvertently admit she liked someone, just for it to not be Lando. You had to like him. All the stories Lando told him, all the words you spoke to him repeated back to Max, all the looks Lando was adamant he observed. All the nights clubbing, celebrating their wins together in videos Max himself saw. Your hands would travel just a little too far up, or your eyes would hold his just a little too long. It had to be Lando. He knows it.

“Okay, okay fair enough. Then I'll ask again, more direct. Y/n, do you like Lan-”

You knew the flaring panic in your eyes was not doing much to help your case, neither were your next words, but by the grace of god, or maybe his pity, that machine didn't beep despite your lie and you had just been handed an out, and lord be damned if you weren't going to capitalize on that inconclusive result. “Wait!” 

You need to be smart about this. You needed to give them something they wanted whilst not giving them everything. A little sacrifice to spare a lifetime of embarrassment, and probably a long and testing conversation between you and Lando. “How about I take one bite of every single thing on this table, chew and swallow instead.” Your eyes held so much hope, pleading for an out but Max only laughs at your soft little doe eyed expression and you couldn't help but frown. 

“Okay, that’d be quite funny.” Ria’s laugh suddenly bit the air, and you had to silently thank her for subverting the attention elsewhere for a moment.

“I wouldn’t do that for no one, especially not for Lando. Are you sure you don’t like him y/n?” You knew Niran was joking but god did his comment make your hands sweat. Calm down.

Max shrugged, ignoring the remarks of his fellow Quadrant members. “Rules are rules, can’t eat your way out of the last question, you have to answer.”

You have to think fast. “...Okay, well…" Hm. "How about this?” It’s the only thing you could think of on the fly, but maybe it’ll work. “I’ll tell you the details, but- I won’t mention any names. So you get to know the whens and what’s, without knowing the who’s." Your laugh was light hearted, though it sounded more nervous than humorous.

A silence suddenly engulfed the room, eyes darting back and forth as the people on the table thought over the offer. In fact the room was so silent, you felt you could hear the gears turning in their heads and you couldn’t help but feel your heart rate speed up just a little more at the prospect. These people were essentially marketing geniuses. They were youtubers whose jobs it was to get as many views as possible. Whatever the decision, you knew it wasn’t about to be in your favor, but about what favored Quadrant as a brand. You were no good at marketing - you drove fast cars even faster for god sake, but damn if you didn’t hope your idea was good enough for them. 

Ginge’s voice was the first to sound. “Nah, nah, stop trying to change the conversation speedy gonzales, you think ‘cause you’re a bloody F1 driver you can- you can bend the rules!? It may slide over there princess but it ain’t gonna slide ‘ere.” His finger pointed down into the table with a glare that almost felt real and you were really trying to think but now you were laughing. 

So was everyone else apparently, because it took you a moment to hear Steve’s smooth voice through all the noise, “Alright, but we’re already putting the girl through a lot.” Then finally Max spoke again. He was really starting to feel like the governing power here, “Okay hear me out. Names are easy to find when you have a story. We get the story and then we evaluate.” His eyes bore directly at you, laughing as he spoke. Max knew with whatever story you told, he could just go right to Lando and together they could eventually connect the dots. He wasn’t trying to out you to everyone… just to Lando.

After a moment of deliberation Aarav spoke, “All agreed?” To which everyone seemed to nod in agreement.

Max nodded his head. “Alright Y/n, you win. In that case, this guy you like-” 

“-I don’t like him-” “-How long are we talking?... This guy you like.” The last comment had a playful laugh leaving your lips as you brought your nail to your mouth. He was purposefully pushing your buttons.

Your lips, previously curled into a smile, had now pursed at the question. “I don’t like him.” You reiterate. “It was like a small little crush if anything.”

“Was it recent?” Max questioned. “No, god it was years ago.”

Beep. Fuck, you completely forgot about the Polygraph. You could ring that stupid things neck. Come on, man throw me a bone or something. Max smiled at the revelation, glancing over at Ria as she spoke through her smirk. “Must be more than just a small little crush if your heart beat is rising at the thought of him.” To this, your head hung low as your laugh sounded. “I plead the fifth.”

You couldn’t even imagine how you would look to any viewers at home once this came out. They had well and truly cornered you here. 

“Well this isn’t a bloody democracy now is it, this is an ambush.” You're very right Ginge this really is an ambush, you thought. There might be no escaping this one.

“When did you first notice you liked this person?” Ria was determined to keep the conversion on track. This is the most anyone had ever gotten out of you regarding your love life, and it being about another driver? Potentially Lando?! They were so close to what they wanted. You were silent for a moment, assessing the people staring on with anticipation. You’d only ever told this story to two people, your mom and your best friend. Were you really about to expose it to the world? The polygraph strapped to your chest said you were. 

“I-... I first felt it a couple years back.”

Compliance. They got you.

“How far back we talking?” Max questioned.

“I don’t know…” your eyes flickered up at him. “Maybe early F2 days?” Ria’s eyes just about bugged out of her head as you answered, hands coming down onto the table with a gasp. “That’s like over 5 years ago!” Her reaction had you groaning, face turning a shade red enough to match the ferraris you race against as you sunk down into your seat. “Now I need to know! There had to have been a moment where you felt it! Because you had been racing with these boys for years! There has to be a moment of clarity, or was it like, progressive? Or-?”

“It- It was definitely progressive in some ways but I do remember the moment it kind of.. hit me.”

“Was it sudden?”

“So sudden.” You laughed. “Tell us!” It felt strange to engage in this conversation, you had sworn to yourself that no one else would ever hear about the feelings you had buried away for years now. Was it better to speak or to die? That truly was the question… But, It was out now, everyone knew you had feelings for one of your teammates; at least one of your F2 ones. What more harm could the details afflict? Besides you’d raced against a multitude of drivers in your F2 career, many of which never even made it to the current F1 grid so the chances of anyone guessing who you were even talking about had to be slim. Speak it was. 

“We were-” The observant eyes of the Quadrant members beamed on at you as you bit your lip in deliberation, but the debate in your brain was finally over, and so you took a breath in.

“We were in between seasons beforehand, so I hadn’t really seen the boys in a few months. And I remember walking into one of the common rooms, where a bunch of the boys were all sitting around before the race, and again, I hadn’t seen these boys for quite a bit.” Your hands moved with every word you spoke, “And the thing about the F2 is that, we were all about 17 to 18 right, so most of the boys had already had their growth spurts, puberty and all that… except for this one guy.” Your eyes were bright as you recalled the memory, a laugh chasing the ends of your lips as the table fell silent.

“And at this rate - in my 17 year old brain - the only thing that ever really mattered to me was racing. Like I could genuinely have cared less about boys and relationships and all that, I’d never had a boyfriend and I was so disinterested in it. To me these boys were my friends off track and my competitors on, nothing in between. So I remember seeing everyone I hadn't seen for while and not really thinking much of it. But then my eyes kind of looked on and… noticed.. him.” God that sounds so corny but you were trying to be inconspicuous, not give away too many details. It wasn’t working.

“Him?” Max smirked. 

“Him.”  You doubled down. “The person.” You glared as a light laugh sounded. “He had always been a bit more on the smaller side, I guess? A 'late bloomer.'” The phrase came to you. “And I don’t know what the fuck happened in those four months we were away but god did puberty hit that motherfucker like a truck.” This time the laughter was a lot louder and you leant back, suddenly a little more comfortable now that the weight had been lifted off your chest. “It was like, he had gone from this scrawny little kid everyone used to pick on to this… man in the blink of an eye and my brain could not comprehend it.”

“Moment of clarity.” Ria laughed and you laughed alongside her.

“No really! Like that’s really what it felt like. I remember hugging everyone because I hadn’t seen them in so long, but when it came to this guy, I just, like- stared and nodded at him and he gave me the weirdest look cause I'd never done that before!” Your voice was thick with embarrassment as you chuckled, and everyone joined in your laughter. Then you stuck up your pointer finger. “But it gets worse.” You swallowed. “So my brain’s already kind of short circuiting in that moment and I guess he thought my odd behavior just wasn't worth his time because then he just goes on, puts his hands down and takes off his shirt-”

“What?!” Ethan yelled. 

“Because we were racing soon and they always would! They would change around the paddock all the time! It’s so normal, they still do it, and I never, ever thought anything of it, like it never phased me. But this one time, when he just lifted his shirt over his head and I was already feeling things I’d never felt before, I was already confused, and oh my god. I don’t know what happened to me.”

Once again the table was booming with laughter. “No, it was so bad. Definitely one of my worst moments. It got to the point where one of the other boys; no names - had to smack me alongside the head and tell me to stop glaring.”

Max’s eyes lit up as he heard the last part. “Wait, people noticed?” “Not people, just the one, I think. If anyone else did, they never said anything.”

“Huh.” Max nodded. “And you don’t feel this way anymore?”

The word came without hesitance, “No,” you shook your head.

Beep.

Max had just found his jackpot moment. He had the information he needed.

What a week it had been. Between the guilt of Austria, the subsequent frantic Mclaren schedule leading up to Silverstone and the stress of the Quadrant video, Lando felt he could truly take his first breath of fresh air knowing at least one of those problems was officially resolved. 

The day was nearing its end meaning you were probably just about done filming with his crew and were likely headed back to the hotel for some well deserved rest before a hectic day of simulation practice and debriefing tomorrow.

He knows he has already done it 1000 times over, but he really needed to thank you for the favor you did him this week. No matter how much you spoke of all free time you had, he knew you were really just as busy with race prep, it wasn’t the simple ‘schedule squeeze’ you had made it out to be and he was more than grateful.

“What time did you say Y/n was coming back?” Charles’ voice rang loud throughout the room as his eyes flickered up from his phone. A few of the drivers had decided to spend a not so usual night in Max's hotel room sharing a few drinks. Camaraderie and all that, especially after the tension of last week.

“She should be finishing up now.”

“Is she coming back here?” Charles continued, still glancing between his phone and Lando’s eyes, fingers tapping briskly over the screen. 

“I’m not sure, I haven’t spoken to her. Why?” Landos eyebrows furrowed down as he asked. 

“Nothing, Alex was asking, that's all. I think she was going to stop by if so but I’ll tell her don’t worry.” To this Lando hummed. As much as he hoped you would stop by - hoped you would have a few drinks with them because you always got a little touchy and so much more bold with your advances when you did (and he’d be completely lying if he said he didn’t love it everytime) - he also knew how exhausting a day of filming was. Further, he knew his friends, and as much as he had scolded them - put them through the ringer about not messing with you, he knew them well enough to know they would do it anyways. You would probably go straight back to the room, and while he understood, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

Distracted with his thoughts of you, he had almost missed the buzzing of his phone on the table besides the couch armrest he had been leaning against, if it hadn’t been for Carlos’ voice breaking the trail his mind was wandering. “Lando compadre, your phone.”

Snapping his eyes to the side, Lando quickly reached out and turned it over to see Max Fewtrell's name splayed across the screen. And being too lazy to pick up the phone and assuming he was just calling to assure him that filming went well, he swiped his finger across the screen and pressed the speaker button to talk.

“Yeah mate, how’d it go?”

“She has feelings for a driver.” 

Woah. No hello, no how are you, not even a build up to the revelation? It felt as if the world had stopped spinning as every single person in the room froze to look back at Lando with wide eyes.

“W-What?” Landos heart felt still in his chest as he spoke.

“We got her to talk about her relationships on the grid-”

“-You dickhead! I told you not to-”

“-I know you told us not to push her, but It wasn’t me!”

“You’re telling me she just admitted that on her own?” Landos voice was laced with sarcasm, a scoff of knowing disbelief leaving his throat. Bullshit.

“No! … Ria did it.”

“Max you muppet, she was doing me a favor! She probably hates me now.” Lando sighed into his hands before peaking through his fingers to glance around. All three boys; Charles, Carlos and Verstappen all had their heads turned towards the phone with wide eyes. 

“Well, that’s the thing,” Max laughed. “Maybe not! She said there was a driver she had a crush on during her formula 2 days, she wouldn’t admit who and when we asked if she still liked them she said no, but the buzzer went off. She was lying, Lando.” The silence in the room seemed deathly thick as the words left Fewtrells mouth, the three other boys blinking at the words they were hearing. They were sure to be experiencing the same emotions Lando himself had been. Shock, confusion, maybe a little intrigue. The boys had been teasing you for years about your relationship status. You had been single for so long, yet constantly surrounded by men so it was inevitable that the conversations would arise; you had to like someone. Nevertheless, you always stood firm, exclaiming that always being around the boys just made it even easier not to. 

After years of the same answers, with absolutely no indication to suggest otherwise, it was hard not to believe the words you spoke. And when you started dating your then boyfriend a few years ago - now ex, thank god for Lando - and bringing him around the paddock; a random guy none of the boys knew very well, the teasing well and truly died down. You really didn’t like anyone on the grid.

But now here they were hearing that the years of teasing, the years of questions, of loud drunken debates and near screaming matches had all been in effort to hide the truth they all suspected. A truth you had been hiding for over 5 years apparently.

The silence must have stuck out to Max Fewtrell beyond the phone, as he seemed to continue talking in the absence of a response. “Here’s what we managed to get out of her. He was an F2 driver that raced with her. She was close to him because he was one of the first people she saw after off season. She had raced with him before, so it wasn’t a new driver. And get this, he was a ‘late bloomer'- was one of the smallest in the comp before he shot up.”

Suddenly it was as if the gears were beginning to turn in Lando’s head, and he couldn’t help but pick up on the obvious smile Fewtrell definitely wore behind the phone. A late bloomer? There weren't many of those by the time they had reached Formula 2, and if there was one thing Lando was, it was a late bloomer. And it seemed everyone else had put the same cogs together, because now all the boys seated around were looking at him with sly smirks and cocked brows. 

God, there was no way. Not a single chance! Lando had spent the past however many years of his life stumbling after this girl, chasing your shadow in hopes for just a single moment of something more between you. That you would glance at him from a distance for as long as he did you, yearn to talk to him as much as he did you, sit up and think about him as often as he did you. He had liked you for as long as he could remember, and while he admits it may have been more akin to puppy love back in his teen years, that innocent crush quickly developed into something so much more intense as he got to be close to you. He wasn’t really afraid to admit he had feelings for you, and while he's never really said it out loud, he also made no attempts to hide it either, and it quickly became obvious to all your mutual friends that he liked you. 

The two youngest single people on the paddock that grew up together, now teammates, who were forced to be around each other everyday but somehow were still never apart, even when it wasn’t required, together anyway. Except one was obviously in love and the other would never like a driver, personal life and professional life were strictly separate.

Beep. Lies. 

Fuck, no, he couldn’t get his hopes up like this. It’s something, but it also doesn't really mean anything.

“Okay but, there were a lot of damn drivers on the f2 grid. There were a few late bloomers, and she was friends with plenty of the other guys that never made it to Formula 1. She- she could be talking about a lot of people.”

“You didn’t think I'd call you with all this doubt, Bob?” Max’s voice was smug and mischievous and Lando couldn’t help but wince at the dumb nickname. “Respect my name. I wouldn’t leave without something to attest. Apparently she was caught staring at the guy by another driver. Another driver knows, or at least they noticed.”

“F2 years you said?” Verstappen's voice rang loud, it almost made Lando jump from the change in bass. 

“That’s what y/n said.”

Verstappen's eyes seem harsh as his brows move down to come over his lids. “Coming back from the off season?”

“...Yeah?” Fewtrell agrees. 

In the blink of an eye Verstappen’s tense face had quickly fallen into a bright and humorous expression, eyes squinting tight as his head fell back in a loud laugh, “Oh my god!” 

“What?” Lando questions.

“Oh my god, Lando, It’s you!”

A chorus of ‘what’s’, and ‘huh’s’ course the room as Max leans over to give Lando an exhilarated slap on the back of the neck. Lando’s eyes are wide as he leans forward in a wince. Though, wether he was wincing at Max’s sudden motion or the revelation he’d just been subjected to, he wasn’t sure. You? Liking him?!

“It was me who noticed!” His laugh boomed as he spoke. “I remember it because I thought it was funny at the time, and for a while after it I thought she might have liked you because it was so unlike her. But she kept denying ever liking anyone and then she showed up with that prick of a boyfriend after that and I just let it go. I always knew it was something!” Max’s voice went raspy as he spoke in a loud, joyful tone, he was no doubt excited at the news. He loved you and wanted to help you wherever he could. And though he would never say it out loud, watching Lando pine over you; the way he cared for you, the way he would defend you when the media had negative things to say; he did think Lando would be a good match for you. 

Now, Lando on the other hand, Lando’s mind was a whirlwind of emotions as he struggled to conceptualize the bomb that had just been dropped over him. He had spent so long pining after you, thinking you saw him as nothing more than just a teammate or worse, just a friend. The idea of you possibly liking him back was a concept he had spent night dreaming of yet never did he think the day would actually come. He was so unconvinced of it ever happening he almost felt unprepared, unsure of what to do or how to act now. Yet, here it was. The room seemed to buzz with a newfound energy, the boys' playful teasing barely registering as he tried to wrap his head around the idea.

"Lando, you okay?" Carlos asked, his voice softer than usual, breaking through Lando's thoughts.

Lando blinked, looking up to see the concerned yet amused faces of his friends. "Yeah, just... processing."

“She likes you mate!” His best friend's words sounded unreal to him. You like him. You like him too. All this time trying to form something with you, not realizing what you already had.

Crashing that goddamn car may have been the best fucking thing that's ever happened to him.

If he’d known this would have been the outcome of DNFing he’d have sent his car straight into the track barrier years ago. Sacrificing pole position if he had to.

He truly thought nothing could have taken him away from this moment, not a single other thing could pull him back from his thoughts of you. Nothing except you. And the sound of his phone beeping with the tone of an incoming call really did pull him back to reality. Because it was you. You were calling!

The boys incessant chatter had immediately come to a halt as Lando shot up. “She’s calling!” His head turning left to right as he frantically looked around at the boys around him. “She’s calling, what do I do?”

Fewtrell’s voice couldn't have come through any clearer. “Answer you knob!”

And so he did. He analyzed the buttons and clicked the one that ended the call with Max and sent it straight over to you instead. 

His heart stuttered as the line went silent, anticipation pulsing through every inch of his veins. The boys sat back in their seats, eagerly eavesdropping on a conversation that could potentially bring a whole new meaning to the word WAG. But Lando didn’t care, more so he didn’t notice, he truthfully had been so sucked in by the letters of your name he forgot the boys were even there. 

What was he even supposed to say? You didn’t know what he knew, maybe he shouldn’t have answered. And yet he found his voice shakily as his teeth clasped his bottom lip.

“Hello?” His breath stuttered as he spoke, and the line sat silent for just a moment too long for Lando’s liking. Y/n? “Lando, you owe me so bad!”

[ncityprincess]

how doyoung would be as a boyfriend

minors do not interact!

-ok he seems like a total sweetheart to me 🥹

-pinterest bf vibes

-he would dote over you like a delicate flower idk

-you would never have to lift a finger

-he would be so proud to have you as a partner

-would absolutely flaunt you around to everyone in his life

-he would be so excited to introduce you to his family

-even if his hand feels sweaty and clammy in yours while he’s introducing you to his parents

-he’s still beaming inside because his parents can finally get to see how amazing you are

-he would be over the moon if you and his mom ended up being close with each other

-as an idol he would probably keep your relationship private

-doesn’t like to mix business with pleasure

-you’re his precious little baby that deserves to be protected from any unnecessary hate and conflict

-if he wasn’t an idol you would be all over his instagram page

-his phone would be filled with cute and cheesy couple pics either way

-would be more than happy to take all of your ig pics too if you were into social media

-idk why but i could see him having a couples youtube channel or something if he wasn’t famous 😭

-he would cherish all of the adventures and moments you guys share

-i can’t stress enough how protective he would be over you

-he would literally do small but meaningful acts of service

-like warming up your towel in the dryer while you’re in the shower so that you can be warm when you dry off

-or save your starbucks, chipotle, etc order to his notes app so he doesn’t forget it

-nothing goes unnoticed by him

-if your mood is off he would immediately know and get to the bottom of it

-if someone was mean to you?

-he would find them and give them a piece of his mind

-because no one talks to you like that

-he’s your number one cheerleader

-if you had something big going on in your life like getting your masters or getting a promotion at work he would brag about it to everyone

-he’s so proud of you 🥹

-he would be Seated for your gossip

-he’s hanging on every word while you tell him all about what sarah said about janice

-cute cafe dates

-grocery shopping dates

-amusement park/carnival dates

-100% would win you one of those big ass plushies

-when it comes to arguments he would definitely want to talk things out

-needs to have the last word but he’s working on it

-even if he believes he’s in the right he would still give you your chance to speak

-you guys would bicker sometimes over petty shit like leaving crumbs on the counter or not replacing the empty milk carton

-but after talking things out you guys would make up fairly quickly

-100% into make up sex

-gets really clingy and whiny afterwards

-and you love it

-he can be a real snuggle bug when he’s in a softer mood

-but he can also toss you onto the bed and ravish you when he wants to🤭

-he would sing in the morning while he cooks you guys a delicious breakfast

-he does most of the cooking

-and cleaning

-random headcannon:

-one time you guys were supposed to get all dressed up to go to a fancy restaurant

-you had reservations and everything

-but you guys are so in sync with each other that you both say fuck it and go to mcdonald’s instead

-in his suit and in your evening gown

-and you had the time of your lives eating those big macs

-overall he’s very passionate and treats you like royalty

-how he is in bed will be linked here whenever i write it <3

[purplesoulcollection]

What if...

So i will based my scenario based from their official art. Hope you like it ' 33 '

Deon might initially seem like an unusual baby to his parents and older brother. After all, who wouldn't be taken aback by the arrival of an albino child?

However, as time goes on, his parents make an effort to set aside their surprise and embrace their child, despite the whispers from neighbors suggesting that Deon is either adopted or not their biological child.

Cruel, on the other hand, develops a deep familial love for baby Deon. Being so young, he doesn’t see Deon’s differences; instead, he finds joy in them. Deon looks cool in Cruel eyes.

"My brother must have been an amazing person before, look at his hair, it's as white as snow!" Cruel exclaimed, gently running his fingers through Deon's soft hair.

Sadly, from the moment he born to the world, Deon has struggled with a frail body and frequent illnesses. His sensitivity to light and recurring fevers make it hard for him to stay well.

As a result, the hospital feels like a second home to him. His parents are often busy working to cover Deon's medical bills, which means they can't visit him as much as they'd like. Deon, feeling guilty for their absence, keeps his complaints to himself, believing it's his fault they can't be there.

Deon had a tough time expressing his emotions as a child, largely because his parents were often absent, leaving him mostly in the company of his older brother.

Eduardo, Caver (the demon king) I don't know his real name, and Cruel share a close friendship, and they are all around the same age. they met and were friends from university.

Caver was very happy when he met Deon, as he was the first to reach out and invite Deon for a chat, taking the lead in forming a friendship.

Deon, being quite sensitive, found himself a bit uneasy with the close interactions, especially since Caver was overly familiar, making it hard for him to feel comfortable.

On the other hand, Eduardo seemed indifferent towards his ailing younger brother, Cruel, merely offering a casual greeting. Yet, for some reason, Deon felt drawn to Eduardo, perhaps out of sympathy or a sense of familiarity that lingered in his mind.

As a result, Deon also found himself connecting with his brother's friends.

I believe Deon will gradually become accustomed to Caver's friendly nature and will develop a deeper connection with Eduardo. Cruel felt a sense of joy knowing that his younger brother finally had friends who could engage with him, even if they were not his peers.

Although Deon attended school, his status as an albino led to social isolation, prompting him to leave and pursue private studies, especially since his frail health made regular attendance difficult.

As he matures, I think he will become healthier and stronger. Thus, the sickly Deon of his childhood will eventually grow into a much healthier individual.

And indeed, he also formed a bond with his nephew Eduardo, who, along with his siblings, truly cherished their uncle.

Alethea, Elphidius, and Deon eventually became friends, all sharing the same age. Deon feels a stronger bond with Elphidius since they are both guys, while he views Alethea as the little sister he never had.

Their friendship dynamic often involves Elphidius and Deon teaming up to play pranks on Alethea. Although she gets annoyed with their antics, she usually ends up forgiving them in the end.

In the modern world, Lofty's troops represent the patients who are close to Deon, standing by him as he battles his pain.

Since he spent a lot of time in the hospital, especially when his brothers couldn't be there, these friends provided him with the encouragement and comfort he needed during lonely times.

And then even after he started feeling better and no need to be hospitalized anymore, Deon frequently visited the hospital to check on those who had supported him in his fight against illness. Yeah so Deon still have the loyalty for those who are also rarely visited by their families.

Deon also wears unique glasses to protect his sensitive eyes from bright light.

Deon in modern times is actually popular with women. But when women want to get to know each other, Deon is the first to shrink and the women lose interest in him.

On the other hand, when he's hanging out with his friends, they easily steal the spotlight, as they are all quite attractive. But nobody is being interested to having romantic relationship yet.

They all still busy to enjoy their peace.

The end

I don't know whether they will have a partner or not. It all depends on their fate and whether I will make a fanfic or someone will be inspired by my fiction.

If i have to make the fiction, are you interested?

[hnbxear]

New person, same old mistakes II

Yor was busy washing the dishes--or preferably the smell of blood from her last kill that still lingers on her hands. Loid and Anya are taking Bond for a walk outside, and she decided to do some productive things as a housewife--washing the dishes.

She suddenly remembered Anya's question earlier in the day.

"Mama, what is a sibling?" She instantly thought of Yuri, her baby brother that she cherishes so much. Time is so cruel, it felt like yesterday he was still a little boy. Now he got a proper job, proper life, which means whatever she's doing right now is quite pointless if Yuri now can take care of himself.

"Sibling is a gift from god! It's a very lucky feeling to have a sibling, having Yuri in my life I never feel alone, and I have something to live for!" (The way Yuri would cry a river if he heard this)

That's what she had said, and she meant every bits of it. She loved Yuri with everything of her, and she would make sure to protect him at all cost.

A knock on the door pulled her out of trance, washing her hands off the soapy liquid and turning the tap off. She rushed to the door as she dried her hands, pulling the door open with a twist of the knob.

"Hello, how can I…help you?" She had to lean up because damn, the guest are taller than her, even the woman beside the man. He scratches his neck, giving the woman beside him a glance. She gave him an encouraging nod, telling him to proceed.

"Hello ma'am, is Loid Forger home?" "Ah, he's not home, he's taking our dog for a walk with our daughter. Would you like to wait inside?" Yor offered to both the visitors. The man hesitated a bit, but agreeing nevertheless.

"If it doesn't bother you, then. Ah I almost forgot," he pulled off his glove, handing his hand for Yor to shake and giving her a smile.

"I'm Mike, Loid's brother."

The sudden appearance of Loid's brother startled Yor. Loid had never told her anything about having a brother--he's a very closed person. She have no idea what to do.

'Loid, please come home faster!!'

"We're very sorry to come at such short notice, but its been a long time, and we would like to surprise him!" "Ah no no it's all right! I'm just a bit startled since Loid never mentioned anything about a brother…" Mike looked at the tea cup on the table, his mind going elsewhere.

"I see, he's always been a private person, so I don’t blame him for not telling you. He's the 'if you don’t ask I don't tell' type of guy, please don’t take it to heart." he once again smiled, trying to calm the anxious wife in front of him.

Yor blushed at his kind gesture, and her anxiety dissipated slowly. Not only Mike is handsome, but he's also understanding too. It was no wonder how Mike is Loid's brother, they both are just the exact same copy of each other.

Ivanka--the dirty blonde haired lady smiled at the interaction and keep strolling around the house. Her violet shade orbs landed on the framed picture on the table, the one with the whole family, including Bond.

"Is this Anya?" She asked, and Yor was quick to turn around before answering.

"Yes. That's her." "She's grown a lot since the last time I've seen her-- she was only a baby back then!" Yor gasped. Does that mean Ivanka had met Anya's mother?

"Y-you've met Anya's mother?" Ivan nodded.

"I've met her mother, but it was only a short one since we only visited her once, then she suddenly passed away," She said with this sad tone at the end. Mike watched her as he sipped on his tea, sweat dropping at how gullible Yor is with Ivanka's convincing act. It reminds him of a certain boy.

"Mike! Oh gosh I thought you didn't make it-- what is this? You're a soldier now?" Mike felt the warmth on his cold cheeks comforting. He didn't answer, bobbing his head gently. Mrs. ███████ smiled, her hands smoothing out his shoulder with comfort swelled in her heart, until she have seen clearly that Mike hadn’t worn Westalia uniform. She immediately jerked herself away.

"Wh-what are you wearing…? Mike what are you wearing?!" The eyes that looked at him with such love and comfort quickly turned into pure disgust and disbelieve. How could he wear the Ostania's uniform and so casually enter their home?

"How dare you come to us with that uniform?! Please tell me this is one of your jokes!"

"How are you faring so far, Yor? I take that it was pretty much a hassle to take care of a toddler, especially like Anya," Mike asked as he put the cup back on the table, right on the saucer.

Yor shook her head, a soft smile adorning her lips. "It wasn't much of a hassle, I enjoy every second of it. Miss Anya is such a sweetheart!"

"I want you to get out of here. I don't need those things, we don't need those, we'd rather starve to death than eat from a traitor's hand." She said, pushing away the food supplies he had brought for them. "Please go."

"Mom—"

"Don't call me that! You're not my son, neither you are ██████'s brother! You are a traitor, Mike. I regret everything we have. Now please, go."

"Ah, then I'm glad that you're happy to be her mother." Yor and Ivanka chatted for a while, with Mike occasionally butted in when necessary. The time was neither fast or slow, and Mike dislike it. He was never a patient man. He hates not knowing what to expect. He—

"We're h—" "We're home! Is that a cake?!"

Mike turned to look at the door, where Loid...Twilight? Or was it..█████ who stood still at the doorstep, as if his feet were nailed on the floor.

Explosions rang through the ears of the weak-hearted soldiers, and that includes █████'s.

"Spoofy! What are you doing?! We must go!" █████ under the name Roland Spoofy immediately stood up to his feet. He didn't know whose name it belonged to, but he knew well enough to not use his real name.

The war between the East and West seemed to be never ending. The explosion ironically looked a bit similar like a sunset, the war was a fastly diminished hope of peace. He didn't know when was the last time he had seen a sun without artilleries booming around him.

"M-Mike.." Mike smiled. It's been a long time since they met last time. It was nice to see him not in danger, with all the scars from the battlefield. He almost wished he just stayed just like this.

"It's been a long time, little brother."

"I'm sorry. But it's for the best."

------

previous | next

unedited. will do later.

[unabashegirl]

Enticing 44 — Harry Styles CEO

Summary: Harry is a young billionaire and CEO of his own company. He mostly keeps to himself, he is stern and very meticulous when it comes to business. He also likes to keep his personal life very private for the sake of his newly born son Oliver Styles. It isn't until he meets Y/N Y/L/N that everything changes. She becomes his new nanny after his previous one quits due to personal reasons. She is young, caring, and sweet. Will they ignore their feelings? Will Harry's girlfriend accept their love and leave them? Will she be able to cope with his busy agenda? What about Oliver's mother? Where is she? Who is she?

— masterlist of enticing —

TAGLIST: @0oolookitsme, @happycupcakeenthusiast, @kennedywxlsh, @hsfics, @stylesbrock, @cuddlingwithharry, @sucker4angstt, @bluemoonedwings, @cherriesrae, @vornilla, @mellamolayla, @harryscurls21, @stilesissaved, @be-with-me-so-happily, @harryssattelitestomper, @jerseygirlinca, @tenaciousperfectionunknown, @lomlolivia, @stylesfever, @daphnesutton, @n0vaj3an, @breezykpop, @kathb59, @sassamanda77, @sherbitdibdab

Time had passed, and Y/N was finally given the green light by her doctor to return to work. While she had cherished the moments spent at home, taking care of Oliver and working comfortably in her loungewear, the excitement of being back in the workplace was palpable. She had missed the hustle and the thrill of encountering new challenges.

As she strolled through the office corridor, William's voice called out to her, “You're back!” He couldn't help but notice the significant growth of her baby bump; it was now undeniably visible that she was pregnant. The relationship between Harry and William remained somewhat strained, with their interactions limited to work-related discussions.

“Hi,” she greeted him with a warm smile, peeking into his office. “I'm feeling much better. I'm really glad to be back. How have things been in my absence?”

“Good, good. I'm thrilled to have you back,” William replied with a smile. Y/N gave him a nod and a parting smile before heading to her own office. Once inside, she settled down, organizing her workspace and preparing to tackle the mountain of emails and files that awaited her. The world of work was a welcome change, and she was determined to dive back in with the same dedication and enthusiasm she had always shown.

Every now and then, Y/N would pause her work to respond to text messages from Harry. He was in discussions with his realtor, working diligently to secure a new apartment. He had successfully sold their previous property, the one where he had once envisioned their happily ever after. It wasn't because the apartment was inadequate, but rather because it had become a repository of painful memories.

Moreover, Harry harbored a growing fear that Y/N's ex might have learned about the location or obtained some kind of information about it. The thought of that potential threat weighed heavily on his mind as he searched for a new place where they could start afresh, free from the haunting shadows of the past.

“I need a place with top-notch security, Alice,” Harry explained to his realtor, his gaze fixed on the view outside his expansive office window. He had a sense that she wasn't quite grasping the urgency of his request. He continued to emphasize his need for enhanced security, as well as a requirement for increased privacy.

“None of the penthouses you've shown me have private elevators,” he pressed, his tone becoming sterner. “Anyone can access the top floor. Do you understand, Alice? This was the one non-negotiable requirement I had.” His frustration was evident.

“Mr. Styles, perhaps I can explore options outside Manhattan or consider a brownstone?” Alice suggested. Despite being in her sixties, she had a reputation for catering to high-end clients. To her, Harry was a challenging client, not easily impressed.

“That might work,” Harry contemplated. He knew they couldn't live too far from the city. Manhattan, with all its traffic and hustle, had its unique charm. “I didn't mean to come across as harsh, Alice. I apologize. A few weeks ago, my wife was harassed at the entrance of our building. She's four months pregnant.” Harry was surprised at his own vulnerability. He rarely apologized and sharing his private life with others was even rarer.

“I understand, Mr. Styles. I'll get to work and send you some options,” Alice replied, her understanding deepened by her own experiences as a parent.

“No problem. I'll be eagerly awaiting those listings. Have a wonderful day,” Harry said and ended the call.

“Andrew!” Harry's voice rang out as he finished signing contracts and reviewing proposals. His plans for expansion into England were in motion. The trip to London, which had been intended for meetings with contractors and associates, had been abruptly cut short the day Y/N got injured. Since then, he'd been conducting virtual meetings, keeping his fingers crossed, and hoping for a smooth process without the need for travel.

“Yes, what can I help you with?” His assistant inquired.

“Has anyone from the London crew called or left any messages?” Harry asked, handing him a small stack of papers.

“Nothing yet. They mentioned they'd call the following morning, which translates to much later tonight,” Andrew replied.

“Alright. Anything else?” Harry asked as he set a late alarm on his phone to ensure he'd be available for their call.

“Well, there is one more thing...” Andrew hesitated, knowing it would only bring stress to his boss.

“Tell me,” Harry urged, “Is it about Y/N?”

“No, she's fine. It's actually from your father and sister,” Andrew said. The mention of his family immediately tensed Harry. The last time they had all been together, things had spiraled out of control, and his father had acted rudely, even hurting Y/N. Harry vowed to prevent such an incident from happening again.

“What's the matter with them?” Harry asked, his tone stern.

“Your father has been calling, asking to talk to you. Allison has been requesting a call back, something about siblings always sticking together,” Andrew relayed with a hint of amusement. Harry rolled his eyes at his sister's sentimentalism.

“I suppose I'll call her tomorrow. You can disregard my father's calls,” Harry decided.

“Alright,” Andrew nodded. “Is there anything else, sir?”

“No, I think I'm heading home. You can leave early, Andrew,” Harry said, powering down his computer and grabbing his wallet and phone. Andrew acknowledged and texted the driver that Harry was on his way down. “Have a pleasant evening,” Harry bid as he waited for the elevator.

Winter was undeniably on its way, the air growing colder and crisper as Harry stepped out of the building and hopped into the waiting black suburban SUV. He could feel the seasonal shift, and he was looking forward to retrieving his scarves and long coats from the back of his closet.

“Mike, think we can make a quick stop for some Chinese on the way?” Harry asked, glancing down at a text from Y/N. She had a craving for Chinese food, especially dumplings in copious amounts. She'd even joked about wanting enough dumplings to rival Po from Kung Fu Panda, which had brought a chuckle from Harry.

“Of course, Mr. Styles,” Mike replied, smoothly changing their route.

Harry had come to appreciate the life he was currently leading. Gone were the days of waking up in his apartment, disheveled and nursing a hangover. He cherished his domestic life and the comforting presence of someone to come home to at the end of the day. Leaving the office now filled him with anticipation, eager to return to his home and his favorite people.

With their Chinese food secured and enough to last them several days, Mike drove Harry back to his residence.

“Have a good night, Mike,” Harry called out as he exited the car, carrying the two paper bags filled with delicious food. He knew Y/N was already in their apartment. He had arranged for another driver to take her to the office and bring her home every day, ensuring her comfort and safety.

“I'm home!” Harry's cheerful voice filled the air as the elevator doors slid open on the top floor. He wore a warm smile on his face, excited to reunite with the most significant loves of his life. “Y/N?!” he called out, setting the bags down in the kitchen before crossing the dining room and entering the living room. His surprise was palpable.

“Why aren't you answering my calls?" Allison Styles stood just a few feet away from Y/N, her attire a stark contrast to Y/N's relaxed appearance. She wore a dress with tights and boots, a trench coat, and gloves. Harry's gaze quickly shifted to Y/N, who sat on the couch with Oliver, clad in cozy pajamas and fuzzy socks, makeup-free.

“How did you get in here?” Harry inquired as he shrugged off his blazer, folding it in half and tossing it over the back of the couch.

“Why aren't you answering my calls or texts? I had to come all the way here just so we can talk. That's not fair, Harry,” Allison protested.

“I'm not answering your calls or texts because I'm busy living my life. I know why you're calling, and I don't want to hear it,” Harry retorted. Allison was easily swayed by her father, especially after significant conflicts. She had been enlisted to convince Harry to reconcile with their dad.

“Harry, he—” she began.

“I said I don't want to hear it, Allison!” Harry cut her off, frustration evident. “Why do you always do this? Why do you keep doing his dirty work?” He walked past her, heading toward Y/N and Oliver. He leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“He feels bad enough, Harry. He says he wants to get to know Y/N. How long are you going to carry this out?” Allison rolled her eyes. Her father had asked her to reach out to Harry on his behalf, despite their troubled relationship. She believed that they needed to forgive and forget; after all, he was their father, and they owed their existence to him.

“Grow up! He's manipulating you. You're being so foolish! He is using you to get what he wants. He doesn’t love us, and it’s time for you to accept it” Harry exclaimed.

“Harry!” Y/N interjected, placing a calming hand on his forearm.

“Where's Mom? What does she think about all of this, huh? Mom hasn't called me or anything because she knows I'm right. He should own up to everything and come talk to me face to face. I don't depend on him, Allison, and neither should you” Harry declared firmly, his anger simmering as he defended his stance.

— PREVIEW OF CHAPTER 61 —

“What's wrong?” Y/N inquired, her voice laced with worry. She scanned Allison's face for any sign of distress, her heart pounding with apprehension.

“I-I...” Allison stammered, struggling to catch her breath. Elizabeth, sensing the urgency of the situation, hurried to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water, her motherly instincts kicking in.

“Please, sit down,” Y/N urged, gesturing to the nearby couch. She knew that whatever news Allison had to share couldn't be easy to deliver.

Elizabeth swiftly returned with a glass of water, her hands trembling slightly as she handed it to Allison. The two women settled onto the couch, their eyes fixed on Allison, awaiting the news that had caused her such distress.

To their surprise, tears welled up in Allison's eyes, her emotions overwhelming her.

“Ali, please,” Y/N implored, her voice tinged with concern as she reached out to grasp Allison's hands, offering comfort. “Tell me what’s going on. You are scaring me”

Struggling to regain her composure, Allison took a deep breath before finally speaking.

“It's my mom and dad,” she began, her voice trembling. “They're at the hospital with Harry. They've decided to take him off life support.”

As Allison's words hung heavily in the air, a deep silence settled over the room. Y/N's heart sank at the news, her mind struggling to comprehend the gravity of the situation.

If you would like to read ahead and get access to 17 more chapters of enticing and more writing pieces then check out my Patreon and join our community.

[eyestumblin]

It's been a while since I could interact with anything shadow of colossus related. I get too emotional and have to turn off videos or music. Today I had a casual little chat about the game with someone and re-engaging with those memories helped me understand why I still have this strong reaction.

Before you have any agency about anything in the game, Wander has already decided to sacrifice everything. Trying to save him, get him out of this dead-end land, would go against his own wishes. He made his choice because it was worth it to him, and the progress you can help him make is one step at a time toward a cursed fate.

The game is however completely merciful to let you decide if and when you take those steps. I played the game more or less as expected a few times, and then over a few years, I spent a few hundred hours just taking my time. If you don't fight and kill the first colossi, the others won't even spawn. So, I was free to roam the forbidden lands. There aren't walls or locks to keep you out, so there's nothing to keep you from anywhere you might want to go. I learned how to shoot the tails off of lizards without killing them and the acrobatic horseback skills Wander must have gained through a former life's work with horses, and with Agro in particular.

We stood in the tall grasses blown by the winds of the coast, looking at the skies and listening to the little disruptions of the silence of the empty land. I had space, solitude, and a trusted friend grazing beside me. It was selfish to slow him down after he'd given up so much to get there, but I wanted Wander and Agro to have more time in that timeless, peaceful place.

Doing this gave me time to process grief and loss I was experiencing in real life. It gave me the ability to take my time accepting endings- of relationships, of my childhood, of cherished lives. The real world changes so fast. I used the forbidden lands as a quiet, private waiting room I could leave at any time. I'm really grateful the dev team were able to so skillfully craft a narrative and place like that.

I finally have a crtv, a ps2, the disc, my old memory cards and could turn the game on again anytime now. But it's still hard to crack open that doorway and re-enter that place. Some media is a time machine that preserves a section of your life and you will find yourself there, waiting, no matter how much time has passed. I'm extremely grateful to have that, and I also don't really know when I'll be ready to stand next to my past self who is still living in there.

[jinjinxedsoul]

CHAPTER 1. Here's to the mess we made.

WARNINGS: Smut. fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, dub con, incest (uncle-niece), drunk sex lmk if I'm missing anything.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:Listen when I started writting this chapter I started in a different direction and even tho I liked most of it I kept feeling the urge to write more of these two before starting any drama, that's when I did the poll for ask u what did you think about it, and when you agreed I started this. Now I really wanna keep on writing about this two a lil bit prior their family drama starts what do you think? I wanna know your thoughts. I also opened an insta account for my hotd related fics (i already have one for my bts works in spanish so why not?) if you want to go follow me feel free to do so I love interacting w my readers Anyways, enjoy this thing.

Word count: 4K+ (also lmk if you prefer long or short chapters)

Things between them were... complicated. Far too complicated. But within that great mess that was their relationship, there was a connection neither of them was willing to lose, one they had learned to guard jealously from the eyes and gossip of others. They didn't need anyone else to know, because what they had was specifically shaped and created by and for them.

For them to live. To cherish. To understand.

If someone were to ask what had sparked that strange relationship, they would surely blame everything on their exchange semester in Monaco. In reality, that had been the first domino to fall, and everything that happened afterward was merely a consequence of it.

Alyssane Velaryon and Aegon Targaryen came from an already complicated family. Aegon's mother, Alicent, used to be the best friend of Alyssane's mother, Rhaenyra. Up to that point, everything seemed relatively normal; things started to twist when Alicent had an affair with Rhaenyra's father and then married him, a union from which Aegon and two other siblings were born.

As surprising as this might seem, that wasn't the greatest scandal in the Targaryen family. But then again, dark secrets always seem to surround powerful families.

With growing tensions within the family, Aegon and Alyssane were raised in similar environments, but remained distant from one another, only crossing paths when strictly necessary. Of course, these situations weren't rare; within such a limited social circle, it was impossible for the families not to constantly run into each other. That turned out to be a good thing, as when they were teenagers, something almost magical happened, and suddenly, everyone was at peace again.

Perhaps their mothers were to blame.

When their mothers became inseparable once more, they wanted to do the same with their children. That was why they presented the idea of doing a semester abroad in Monaco to both of them.

Why Monaco? They didn’t know for sure, but they suspected it had something to do with their mothers' rekindled friendship. In the end, they both agreed, each for their own reasons: Aegon, drawn by the parties and excesses a wealthy country like Monaco could offer, and Alyssane, excited by the freedom it promised—especially a semester without having to constantly keep an eye on her three brothers, which sounded like a dream.

The first few weeks, however, they remained distant. Despite living in the same apartment, they barely saw each other due to their differing schedules. When they did run into each other at parties, their interactions lasted no more than a couple of minutes.

When they started missing home, they unconsciously decided to spend more time together. Then came what Alyssane always describes as one of the worst chapters of her life—when her boyfriend broke up with her, claiming that the distance had affected their relationship too much. It was a cheap excuse, considering the guy had a private jet and could have flown to the principality whenever he wanted, but as flimsy as his excuse was, it still managed to wound Alyssane's heart. They had been together since they were fifteen; she hadn’t known anything else and felt like her life had ended with that relationship.

Maybe Monaco was to blame.

If they hadn’t gone to Monaco, Alyssane’s heart wouldn’t have been broken, and she wouldn’t have had to seek refuge in the only person who could remind her, even a little, of home—Aegon.

Her mother was too busy with business matters, and although Alyssane knew that she would fly over immediately to be by her side, she didn’t want to bother her.

And Aegon, even though he wasn’t always attentive to the things happening around him, immediately noticed his niece's absence from school. He figured it was normal enough, given her recent breakup, but when he realized that her absence extended to the parties she used to love, he started to worry for real.

When he finally gathered the courage to barge into her room and found her in that horrible self-imposed isolation, he felt terrible—especially because he had been going from party to party, fueling rumors about himself while she, who deserved for people to care about her, was there, wasting away in her sadness.

At first, it seemed a bit exaggerated to him that Alyssane, at nineteen, was so heartbroken over a breakup. She had money, she was beautiful, and with her charming personality, the moment she announced she was single, messages would pour in. But then he understood that Alyssane and her ex-boyfriend had been together since they were fifteen; she hadn’t known anything else.

That’s when he knew he had to be there for her, because his father always said family needed to stick together and support each other when times seemed darkest. It had started as a purely brotherly and innocent act, but soon it began to turn into something different.

Maybe it had been his fault.

He should have kept his distance; of all the times he could’ve followed his father’s advice, he had chosen this one. If he hadn’t tried to lift his niece’s spirits with a motivational talk, then nothing would have happened.

"You still have so much left to experience. He was just one of many idiots," he told her at the end of his lengthy talk.

They were sitting on the floor of her room, backs against the bed, with a couple of empty wine bottles beside them. The glasses in their hands were still full.

"So, you're saying I should meet more idiots?" she asked.

"You should actually stay away from them," Aegon replied with a soft laugh. "It's just that, in this world, you'll come across plenty. In the end, what's important is learning to spot them before they hurt you."

"Maybe you're right," she said, taking a sip of wine. "But I can't help feeling a little lost. He was... everything. I don’t know anything more."

"Then get to know more," he shrugged. "I'm sure there are hundreds out there who would do anything to get your attention. We have the blessing—or curse, depending on how you see it—of being part of one of the most powerful families. That means many will do whatever it takes for a bit of our time."

"And that also means I’ll have to pay attention to their intentions," Alyssane said, frowning.

"That's the only way to learn how to spot the idiots," Aegon added.

Alyssane smiled bitterly and nodded, falling silent for a moment as she let his words settle in her mind. Aegon was right; his words felt insightful, and before that day, she wouldn’t have believed he could offer good advice.

"And what about you? Are you an idiot too?" the brunette asked after a while, blinking rapidly to ward off the tears threatening to surface.

"Haven't you read everything they say about me? Apparently, I'm the disgrace of House Targaryen," he replied with a smile, turning to look at her.

Alyssane’s gaze locked onto Aegon’s, and he became acutely aware of the strange weight pressing down on his chest. Before that night, he had never noticed how beautiful she was; sure, most of their family members were quite good-looking, but now, as he looked at her closely, he realized she was truly stunning.

"They don’t know what they’re talking about," she said simply, knowing that what the media portrayed rarely aligned perfectly with reality.

"Or maybe they do. Maybe I am a bit of a disaster."

Aegon wanted to look away, to stop staring at her because the weight in his chest grew heavier with each passing second, and he didn’t know how to handle it.

"Disasters are interesting," was her conclusion, which she sealed by gulping down the rest of her wine.

Maybe the wine was to blame.

Alyssane used to drink, but whenever she did, it was at a party, dancing and socializing so much that she barely noticed the effects of alcohol on her body. Now, sitting there without the frenzy, she could feel them clearly.

Her body felt numb, heavy; when she went out, the images would swirl around her like a colorful blur, but this time it felt like every second was etched carefully in her mind. Her lips tingled strangely, and she felt an overwhelming need to be held. She studied Aegon for a moment, wondering if it would be too weird if she just...

"What are you doing?" the silver-haired one asked as she straddled him.

It seemed the alcohol still gave her the ability to act on her impulses.

"A hug," she whispered, adjusting to find the best position. "Is it too weird?"

He had to say yes; one didn’t hug family members like that, and Aegon knew it. He had to admit that it made him uncomfortable because she was his niece, but Aegon couldn’t lie when he was drunk; he simply couldn’t.

"It’s not the weirdest thing anyone’s asked me, certainly," he said, unable to suppress a chuckle.

Alyssane wrapped her arms around Aegon’s neck, and he instinctively placed his arms around her back, settling into a comfortable embrace. The closeness felt strange and confusing, but neither of them made an effort to pull away.

The silence that followed was awkward at first, but the tension in the air lightened enough, and it was only broken by the heavy sigh that escaped Alyssane’s lips as she rested her head on Aegon’s shoulder.

"Sometimes I feel really lonely," she whispered.

Aegon felt, for a moment, that his niece's words pierced him like a dagger. He wasn't sure how to respond, but he understood that loneliness better than he wanted to admit; in a world like his, solitude was more common than one would expect and it lingered even when surrounded by people.

"You shouldn’t."

Unconsciously, his hands moved along her back, gently caressing her as a form of comfort. Alyssane's warm breath tickled pleasantly against his neck, and her weight on his lap did not go unnoticed; after all, he was still human, and alcohol never failed to make him more receptive to physical sensations.

Everything was mixing together, making it hard for him to keep his thoughts in the right place. He knew he shouldn't feel this way. But the combination of alcohol, silence, and the shared moment of vulnerability created an atmosphere that urged him to cross boundaries he knew shouldn’t be crossed.

"You’re not alone."

Due to their position, Aegon's lips brushed against Alyssane's temple, and his words ended up being whispered in her ear, sending a pleasant shiver through her that made her shift in place, directly causing friction against Aegon's groin. He quickly placed his hands on either side of her hips, keeping her still.

"Alyssane..." he murmured as a warning.

She finally lifted her head, looking into his eyes, and settled back onto him, smiling slyly as her movement drew a sigh from Aegon.

"We shouldn't," he said, his voice sounding much less firm than he had expected.

And his actions betrayed him too, because instead of pulling away, he leaned in closer to her, brushing his nose against Alyssane's, their breaths mingling in the small space between them. Aegon closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composure, but the warmth radiating from Alyssane's body embraced him so comfortingly that it was impossible to think of anything but her and the closeness they were sharing.

"Why not?" Alyssane asked, her tone challenging common sense. There was a spark in her eyes that seemed to light up everything around them, and Aegon realized he didn't want to pull away.

Alyssane dared to press a careless kiss on Aegon's cheek, the warmth of her lips feeling better than any other display of affection he had ever received in his life. The contact made him open his eyes, looking at her with a mix of astonishment and desire.

His heart raced wildly, as if it wanted to leap out of his chest, and his hands tingled, eager to explore more of the girl on top of him, yet held back by that thin thread of morality that still remained.

Maybe they were to blame.

"Tell me you don't want this," Aegon whispered as a plea, though it was really a desperate attempt not to get caught up in that spiral of complications. "We still have time to—"

"What if I do want it?" she interrupted abruptly, a smile still painted on her face as she looked directly into his eyes.

Aegon smiled too, shaking his head slightly; sometimes he forgot that capriciousness was one of the greatest traits of the Targaryens. No one ever denied them anything simply for being who they were; they took what they wanted when they wanted, and no one could do anything about it.

And at that moment, all they wanted was each other, even if it felt forbidden. Who could tell them no? Who was there to stop them?

"Is it wrong?" Alyssane questioned, placing another kiss on Aegon’s face, this time on his jaw. "Is it a mistake?" She moved again, doing her best to be as suggestive as she could.

"Technically—" His gaze couldn't tear away from her, specifically from her lips, which were slightly parted, almost as if inviting him to taste them. Alyssane shifted again, and Aegon’s grip on her hips loosened, allowing her to take the lead.

"But it doesn’t feel wrong."

In truth, it did feel very wrong, but that only fueled their desires in an oddly lustful way that they probably wouldn’t be able to articulate if they had to.

"Then what does it matter?" she asked, inching even closer to him as if it were impossible to get any nearer.

And those words were enough to untie any knot that had been holding his very flexible morality in place. He tilted his face just a few millimeters, immediately reaching Alyssane's lips, barely brushing against them as if asking for permission to continue; she pulled him closer and finally pressed their lips together.

It wasn't a delicate kiss; it wasn't laden with emotions. It sought to express nothing more than the pure desire that had ignited between them that night. Though perhaps it wasn't entirely new—more like a flame that had been smoldering within them for some time. After all, during the time they had lived together, it was impossible to deny that, at least once, both had featured in each other's fantasies.

Aegon's hands felt liberated as they finally roamed Alyssane's body without restraint. The first place he touched was her legs; the fair skin of the young Velaryon was exposed by the light silk dress she wore that night. His fingers sank sweetly into her thighs, eliciting a gasp from her. Taking advantage of her parted lips, Aegon moved his own directly to Alyssane's neck.

He slowly trailed his lips across her neck, then dared to let his tongue trace a path from her left collarbone to her chin and back again. Aegon's grip intensified, and he bit his lip, restraining himself from marking her as he desired.

“Do it,” she said simply, burying her hands in the silver strands of his hair. Aegon looked at her, questioning her decision. “If we're breaking the rules, let’s make it worth it.”

Aegon's gaze darkened, and a mischievous smile curled on his lips before he returned to assaulting the curve of her neck, sucking hard in places, leaving faint red marks that would surely shine in the morning light and eliciting soft moans from Alyssane's lips.

Aegon was quick to silence his niece's sounds, drowning them out with his own lips as he played with his tongue inside Alyssane's mouth. His already painful erection was imprisoned by his own clothes and the girl's weight on top of him, but he didn't want to release it now because the friction was delicious. His hands got lost under her dress and he was quick to lustfully grab her ass, squeezing it while forcing her to rub herself against him even more, feeling her warm wetness begin to soak his lap.

A smile crept between the kisses and he brought his hand to the front. The sensation of the lace on his fingertips was annoying, so he was quick to push the fabric aside looking for direct contact with her skin, his eager touch snatched a moan from her and he exhaled heavily when he felt her.

“Soaking wet already?” he asked in a mocking whisper, pulling back just to observe her reaction.

Alyssane frowned and was about to respond with some clever comment, but her words died in her throat when one of Aegon's fingers ran through her folds, drawing a sigh from her that she tried to silence by biting her lip.

“No, baby, let me hear you” he said firmly, his finger tracing the same path as before and this time a light gasp escaped from Alyssane's lips that made him smile sideways. “That's it”

His fingers moved expertly in her center and when she least expected it, she felt the intrusion of one of them. A small cry of pleasure filled the room and joined in a symphony with Aegon's gasps as he felt Alyssane's insides tighten around his fingers as she moved on top of him.

The tightness of the young woman was clear and he felt a shiver run through him as he imagined how she would feel around him, his lips parted and a moan escaped.

"How long has it been since you...?" His answer was interrupted by a wet kiss from the brunette.

"Before coming to Monaco," she replied between gasps, Aegon seemed scandalized by the answer and she rolled her eyes. "Not all of us are as promiscuous as you."

“Experienced. The word is...” he was interrupted again, this time by Alyssane's cold hand sneaking mischievously inside his pants, making him sigh immediately “Fuck...”

Her hand wrapped around his member and gave it a light squeeze, the movements of Aegon's hand sped up as well and soon they were both trying to match each other's rhythm, filling the room with lust-filled sounds that sweetened her ears.

Alyssane closed her eyes for a second when the sensations suddenly overwhelmed her, the way Aegon continued to move his fingers in and out was taking her to the limit, although in reality it was the fact of knowing that what they were doing was too forbidden that excited her the most.

Aegon was breathless, unable to contain the gasps escaping his lips, feeling a familiar tingle spread throughout his body; only then did he dare to remove his fingers from inside Alyssane to stop her from moving her hand around him as well.

He didn't give her any explanations even when she was about to ask for them, he just hurriedly freed his member from the layers of clothing that now seemed too uncomfortable, he didn't have the time to stop and undress them both thoroughly, although he was tempted to do so if it meant discovering and conquering every part of Alyssane's body; however, the urgency of being inside her was greater than any other of his needs.

“I need... I...” he gasped, looking into her eyes, unable to articulate coherent phrases as desire overwhelmed his senses. “Come here” he muttered, grabbing her firmly by the waist and positioning her on top of him, doing everything he could to keep the annoying lace of her underwear out of the way.

A glimmer of reason seemed to shine in Aegon’s mind; what they were doing was already risky, and he didn’t want to increase those possibilities.

"Wait, I don't have a condom..."

His words hung in the air like an unimportant warning as Alyssane slid over him, making him enter her in one thrust. The sensation was overwhelming for both of them; a muffled moan escaped Aegon's lips while Alyssane let out a deep gasp, closing her eyes immediately as the sudden intrusion had caused a burning sensation that spread down her spine, which was to be expected as she had spent so much time without company other than his fingers that Aegon's well-endowed presence made her feel like she was being split right in half.

The intensity of the moment made Aegon tighten his hands around her waist, as if he wanted to make sure that this was real and not a dream fueled by his repressed desires; the warmth inside Alyssane felt unreal, perhaps it was his own lust speaking, but Aegon could assure that no other woman he had been with felt this good, it was as if she had been made specifically for him. That thought caused a shudder that Alyssane also felt as spasms in Aegon's member.

"It's okay," she whispered, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm still on the pill."

Aegon sighed and smirked. "Thank God."

Aegon was grateful that he didn't have to use protection, for now he couldn't imagine having any restrictions, even minimal, that would prevent him from fully enjoying what she was giving him. Alyssane giggled and rose up over him slowly, just enough to make most of his member slip out of her, only to lower herself back down again with a snap. They both moaned in unison, the brunette gripping the other's shoulders with shaking hands, playing with the thin fabric of his shirt.

The girl went up and down in a deliciously slow rocking motion, seeking to relieve the feeling of discomfort in her body, as she did so and Aegon dissolved into moaning noises an idea assaulted the silver-haired man's mind; according to his niece's own words, her now ex-boyfriend had not taken her to bed in a long time, the thought alone made him upset.

He had barely received a little from her, contrary to how much she had surely offered that idiot, and just that little had been enough to blow his mind, he was definitely eager to try much more of her.

How could he have left her unattended for so long? He wouldn't do it, he...

"I would travel however many miles it took to have you like this," he whispered against her lips. Something changed in Alyssane's smile, and although Aegon didn't recognize it immediately, he felt a sense of satisfaction. "And that's what you deserve."

“Miles?” she asked, her teasing smile returning, though her voice was breathless with the pleasure she felt in every movement.

“Hundreds of them...” Aegon growled, a similarly mischievous smile on his lips, his eyes shining with lust.

Alyssane let out a moan as she felt him take complete control, lifting his hips to meet hers, driving the rhythm faster, deeper. The thought that he needed her as much as she needed him made her body tremble.

“That’s what you deserve, what you should look for—someone who won’t leave you alone,” his breath came erratically, each movement filling him with an intense pleasure that made it hard to maintain control.

Alyssane shut her eyes tightly, surrendering to the sensation of being so close to him, so connected in body and desire. The possessive tone in Aegon’s voice sent shivers down her spine, and a part of her knew that, no matter how dangerous those words were, she craved more of that wild, unrestrained devotion that had sparked like a lustful flame and was now consuming them with intensity, enveloping them in the excessive heat of the flames that, far from harming them, provided comfort.

“Will you ever leave me alone?” she asked, gasping as she quickened her movements. “‘After tonight, will you leave me alone?’”

“Never...” he replied between breaths, but he paused for a moment, moving one hand to cradle her face with a tenderness that contrasted with the passion of the moment. “Not after this. Never.”

“Then I don’t have to look for anyone else,” she declared before capturing Aegon’s lips with hers.

And although the Velaryon’s words were decisive and carried a weight they would later have to confront, Aegon didn’t care in the slightest—or maybe he cared too much—but he decided he agreed with that sentiment, even if he didn’t fully understand why. He just knew that no matter how hard he searched, no one would be worthy enough to have her.

Caught in the heat of the moment and the suffocating yet sweet lust of knowing what they were doing was just for them, he resolved that he was worthy of it. He could care for her and please her; in recent days, he had proven he could provide for her, and now he was showing he could give her the pleasure that the fool who had her hadn’t wanted to offer.

“Don’t do it. Don’t look for anyone else.”

They were to blame for giving in and yielding so easily. But it felt good—not just physically; that night was the first in their lives when they didn’t feel completely empty. And that was enough for both of them.

Alyssane:

[blorbingqls]

Karan and Achi beyond the mask

okay, so i am not okay from the last episode of Cherry Magic Thailand. i personally relate to Karan and Achi a lot, and i felt like writing something on this.

so, in ep 1, we saw Karan to be this perfect guy in the office: winning the awards, getting better oppurtunities and being a great cheerleader for everyone. but, we saw the "mask" shatter when Achi heard his thoughts.

our thoughts, which are so personal in real life and usually are so restricted to ourselves - its hard to imagine what they might get out of it. and, the fact that Karan, while being so perfect, is so mysterious and private of his feelings, really hits hard when you see him internally squealing over being so close to his crush. And, that is why, his crush made us go:

(but in a relatable sort of way...)

As we moved on from episode to episode, we are seeing the said mask get shatter every moment or as shrek goes:

and we first see that reflect once we understand how Karan feels about having those feelings for Achi. which he thinks is beyond shameful. but isn't love something we are told to cherish so fiercely? and thats where i related it with my initial feelings of being queer. societally, we have been told us much on not being gay that when you actually do feel it, it feels guilty. it feels wrong to have these feelings; its a shame to have them because its only just you who has it. (but it is not like that)

Karan, in his whole life, has only been perceived as a mask. a mask of good looks who somewhat can do the job. he's perfect, mysterious and flawless. but, unknowingly, he's very sad and tired of it. so much so that he was scared for Achi to discover that he reads manga. his life, beyond his office is comparatively lonelier.

then the incident happened. his first year of working with the company: in a meeting with his seniors to learn all about the trade. he has prepared everything, he did the research and practiced what to speak in front of the client, only for his boss to reduce him to "the junior who has good looks."

Achi noticed that and later, was the only one who saw beyond the mask at his lowest. Achi said things which made sense to him, because he understands how bad it is be reduced to that mask because Achi goes through that low self esteem every day. however his kindness doesn't let him get it to others around him. for him, he is okay to be behind the scenes, as along it makes him feel happy.

cheering up Karan wasn't something Achi did in order to get something out of Karan. he only did it because he wanted Karan to feel better. and Karan saw that.

to like someone who sees you beyond what anyone is willing to show to the outside world and doesn't demean for it, means a lot to someone like Karan. and that's why, Karan's small acts of care for Achi made sense. because Achi's small acts of kindness towards the office is so similar to what Karan does for Achi. that's why, even though Achi doesn't believe it yet, but, Karan and Achi are similar in a lot more ways than he thinks.

so when Karan gets so close to Achi, he starts feeling so so special. initially, he was so happy with this small acts, it would make his day when he could just interact with Achi. but as Karan and Achi got to know each other more, with Karan's feelings out there for Achi to know, Karan also started feeling so special to Achi, even though the uncomfort lingered around.

with Achi's mask of being the ordinary, clumsy guy as the world sees him, his esteem made him fear the love Karan gave him, as he got closer to him. but he didn't understand how his ideas of buffers actually left Karan feeling so unacknowledged of his place in Achi's life all of a sudden.

so even if Achi knew Karan's feelings way before than Karan expressed it to him, he still didn't know what to say 'cause his heart couldn't reassure him of the genuinity of the feelings he felt for Karan or Karan's feelings for him.

with that post it note, Achi figured out the sincerity of Karan's love.

and for me, that is both of them reaching out beyond their masks and come out of their comfort zones to embrace the said love.

[mellowmin]

Character Rant: Osamu Miya!

Disclaimer: this is only MY PERSONAL OPINION and my own takes on these characters, please do not interact if you don't like or agree with this 💜

suggestive (not really?), reader is referred to as 'baby' but is mostly gn

Okay, I've been in such a Samu mood lately it's crazy.

He's definitely my favorite twin, as much as I love Tsumu and his needy, clingy almost desperate way of loving; Samu just hits different and here's why

○ SAMU. IS. GREEDY. And he's not ashamed of it. When he falls in love with someone, he wants every bit of this person to be his. He becomes protective, sometimes possessive, and he makes it known that he's not happy with other people getting as close to you as HE is.

○ This boy is ALL about secret/private/exclusive stuff. He cherishes your little inside jokes and traditions (he would rather DIE than skip your weekly movie night) and the way he acts lmao. Sometimes it feels like y'all are doing something wrong with the way he sneaks around to go see you.

○ It may happen that you get it in your head that he's embarrassed to be seen hanging out with you, but upon bringing it up to him he's pretty quick to admit that he's only doing that so that Tsumu (and maybe Suna) won't get the chance to invade come along with you guys. If by that point you're not already dating him, his pout and red face make it very clear that he appreciates your company more than you could even imagine.

○ Something that I feel connects me to his character is his love for food (I probably relate to him because I'm the same way); I feel like he may not outright say what he feels but the way he acts around people and food tells a lot about his heart. Especially when it comes to sharing his food, and sharing in general.

○ So, as a twin, Samu's no stranger to sharing. He's shared with his brother for most of his life; from sleeping in the same cot as babies, to toys, rooms, snacks, clothes, etc. This is something that affects Tsumu as well, but I feel like it digs deeper with Samu, like he felt like he's never had something that truly belonged to him and only him-

○ Until he began to show interest in cooking. It was one of the best moments of his life; his mama told him that if he could make his own lunches for school, no matter what it was (as long as it was healthy), he could eat all of it without sharing with his twin. At the time, Mama Miya was only trying to kindle this new hobby, but little Samu saw it as life finally giving him a chance to keep something to himself.

○ So... that may have resulted in him developing a pretty... peculiar relationship with food. Over time, he realized that he didn't mind sharing his food with Tsumu as much as he liked seeing his dumb twin's face light up when trying his increasingly tastier recipes, and he could not ignore how full his heart felt when it was his mama or his senpais enjoying the food he made. Like that, food started to become more meaningful to Samu when it came to expressing his love.

○ On a few occasions, his fangirls would approach him with food, sometimes homemade and often storebought, but Samu almost always ended up giving them away to whatever pair of grubby hands was the closest to him at lunch (👀Tsumu👀). Especially when he started having feelings towards someone, taking those kinds of gifts (let alone give them back) felt wrong. He's nothing if not loyal.

○ That being said, as his s/o, he's your buffet lol. Take everything from him and he'll ask if you got room for dessert. This goes for food and in general, and I feel like he'd want to be with someone who's as horny greedy for him as he is for them. He also likes to feel validated in the fact that he belongs to you as much as you belong to him :')

○ So, imagine the scrunch, the absolute sneer on this man's face when some girl comes to him (when he's already dating you) and asks him to make something for her.

"Why would I do that? Who are you"

pfft yeah, no one is trying that again any time soon

○ When he's really whipped, you know you can trust him because you see the disgust on his face when he has to interact with someone who might have a thing for him. His friends tell you that he's whipped, you can see it, everyone can see it and honestly, he's not ashamed.

○ One time, he drunk texted you while he was out with friends, and before you could reply, he sent you a video.

Upon opening the video, you get a close up shot of your bf's hairy nostril before he pulls the phone away enough to film himself and his friends, all screaming nonsense like a bunch of lunatics. You giggle at their antics and pity the poor girl under Tsumu's arm; who is currently getting her left ear melted off by the blonde's yelling (also, knowing him, he probably stinks of beer)

○ However, you don't pity the random (quite gorgeous) girl who shoves herself into frame; wrapping her arms around Samu's waist while saying hi to the camera. The way that his face twists from drunk happiness to utter disgust is almost comical, he looks offended.

"Ewww who the fuck are you? Dontouchmeohmagad" Samu's words are heavily slurred but he doesn't stumble one bit as he shoves the girl away from him. "You're ugly, get away" He glares fiercely at the retreating offender.

The last bit of the video is him pouting and mumbling, presumably having forgotten the camera currently filming his chin from a rather unflattering angle

"I don't know who you are but you ain't ma baby n' I only want ma baby"

○ UGHHHH JUST SAYINGGGGGG you should put a ring on this man ASAP cuz

Osamu Miya is 100% pure husband material

[yibocheeks]

Translated Excerpts from the Beijing Premiere of One and Only

To be on the big screen, does it feel like you've gotten to fulfill one of your dreams as an actor? Yibo: I think it is a very fortunate thing, for me at this time in my life, to be able to do a combination of things that I enjoy is a very happy thing. Actually, it reminds me of my childhood dream, of a passionate summer where at that time I enjoyed dance. I took part in dance classes during middle school vacation. I spent the entire break in the studio. Similar to Chen Shuo, I would go to class after class, dancing from 2PM to 10PM or so. Just like Chen Shuo, I never found it tiring, as if I couldn't feel tired while doing something that I enjoyed. After watching [the movie], there's the sense that Yibo is Shuoshuo, Shuoshuo is Yibo.

(To Liu Mintao, actress who plays Chen Shuo's mother) Give us your review on Yibo's performance. LMT: The first impression I got from Yibo is that he is quite shy, and quite introverted. He doesn't usually express himself, he's not the type to chat with you a lot. He's quite a thoughtful person, I think, because we haven't had a lot of interactions in private. This is the sense that I got. He's very diligent, and his eyes are full of--I think of something very pure/sincere. Actors--not just actors--I think it is something we all need, that it is something worth cherishing. Da Peng: Let me add something, whenever I see Shuoshuo, no matter what the scene is, his eyes sparkle like he has stars in his eyes. Some scenes we film altogether, like the scenes in Chen Shuo's home, we filmed them all at once, including the scene with Uncle. Because we have to create the set, so in actuality, Shuoshuo and his mother's first scene is the emotional scene that everyone likes, where his mother is singing and shining onstage, and Shuoshuo sees his mother's efforts for him and ends up crying. This was actually their first scene, so they hadn't yet filmed any of the scenes at home, so there was this challenge right from the get go. The performance that day--Yibo completed it in one take. He was able to express these sentiments right away, and exceeded our expectations. So one can imagine that he must have done a lot of work on his own prior to filming, thinking about this role, to understand what his experience must feel like in this scene. For that day I feel a bit apologetic, because it was quite a large scene, where onstage with his mother there were a lot of wedding guests. But once Shuoshuo came, he cleared it in one take. I felt as though it couldn't be this easy, that filming could go so smoothly, so I tried to find different reasons to refilm the scene, to get Chen Shuo to perform a few more times. Otherwise, if we managed to finish it in one take, I was afraid it might get to his head. (said jokingly) But actually the scene that ends up in the movie is from their first take. MC: So you ended up using the first take? Da Peng: Yes MC: Wow, let's give it up for Yibo. Of course, I believe that for Yibo to be able to grasp the emotion so well, must also be thanks to Mintao-jie's performance onstage (Yibo nods) LMT: The two of us hadn't interacted at that time. Because onstage I couldn't see him either. MC: So it is completely based on immersing yourself in the role. Da Peng: Don't people think they also seem like a mother-son pair? Audience: Yes! Da Peng: When I watched afterwards I felt that the casting of their roles really was great

Yibo: I think for the storyline between Chen Shuo and his mother, the part that moved me the most is when his mother says, "I don't dare watch." This moved me because my mother also doesn't dare to watch some of my competitions, so this line really struck me.

Yibo: Street dance gets divided into a lot of different styles. Breaking is something I am both familiar and unfamiliar with. Because when I first experienced street dance, I tried breaking but ended up giving it up because it was too difficult and I would end up with a lot of injuries, so went to hip hop. So this time when filming- One of the cast members interjects: Let me explain, because Yibo was injured while breakdancing, I don't think you can say this is giving up, rather he was forced to give it up because his knees were injured. Like this I don't think you could say that he gave up. Yibo: Ah…where was I? Oh yes, because when I was young I thought their moves were really cool, but because I was young and experienced injuries, it felt too difficult so I chose another style of dance. So this time I feel the greatest takeaway is getting to experience the dance that I enjoyed the most when I was young, getting to do this again I was very happy.

Yibo is asked to say some closing words: Yibo: Wow, you're asking someone who's not very good at speaking to give the closing statement. First, I'd like to thank everyone for their compliments. I also really cherish that summer. I have also had a similar time of passion/enthusiasm (Chinese title of the movie), when I was young, when I liked dance, I have also had a summer devoted to one thing, and that was dance. So it was very similar to filming One and Only. Like when Chen Shuo went to practice dance after finishing work, I also did the same after finishing school. Everyone in the cast worked well together because everyone loved dance, so worked hard together on this. So I am grateful to everyone, I enjoyed this time we had.

[mikolsen]

mikolsen * a private and original writing blog for kol mikaelson from the vampire diaries universe. mostly show (tvd) based, with my own headcanons. kol is a nonbinary lesbian and uses they/he pronouns. portrayal is very loose, i'm gay and just wanting to have fun thx. cherished by mimi , 25. also at @jessiebites & @lovealign .

21+ only, don't be a weirdo or hateful. extremely private because i'm still finding my footing. low activity and minimal formatting.

there will be zero natebuzz on this blog, not even through musings or posts except for this one. free palestine, fuck him.

kol is a villain first and foremost, but can act as an antihero. do not go interactions thinking they will love your muse immediately unless we have a plot happening. kol has a temper, they're impulsive, and they don't like to be underestimated. as always mun does not equal muse.

i love shipping but kol is tough to ship with. all ship related threads will need to be plotted with extensive care and constant back and forths. kol is a lesbian, and only attracted to women and femme presenting individuals. no exceptions on this, but i do have kol figure that out later in their time with vampirism and closer to modern day. before coming out, kol identified as sexually fluid. any possible relationship with a man would be during this stage and will not be an endgame ship whatsoever.

inspirations from my kol come from interview with the vampire and discovery of witches, along with seasons three and four of the vampire diaries. i've taken a lot of creative liberties but he can fit in with canon with zero problems.

kol was a witch before he was turned and he loves everything that has to do with witchcraft. this is incredibly important to my portrayal of kol and how they interact with others.

[flightsouled]

Welcome to " 𝙵𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝚂𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙴𝙳 " a private and selective roleplay blog for RODY SOUL from My Hero Academia: World Heroes Mission. mutuals only. cherished by alice she / they 18+ ( established 09/2024 ) PORTRAYL IS HEAVILY HEADCANON INFLUENCED.

below are the rules until i find time and energy to make a carrd

as stated this blog is mutuals only (i follow you and you follow me) this is for my own safety and comfort. that being said, if you follow me please at least give me two weeks to check out your blogs pages before i decided to follow you back.

the way i write rody is and will be heavily influenced by my own headcanons i have of him. if you dislike the way i write him then we simply don't have to interact.

no smut will ever be written with rody's character. he is a minor.

this blog is multiship / oc / crossover friendly <3

in terms of shipping, i love and adore all forms of it. from romantic to platonic to enemies, they're all well and good. the key is communication though! if you have an idea for a potential dynamic by all means come to me! *i hold my hands out greedily*

when it comes to writing, i use small / colored text (if the colored text isn't good for you please let me know so i won't use it on our threads) and icons. i don't expect the same from my mutuals so long as your writing length matches somewhat enough with mine in a thread!

i'm also open to almost any form of writing; i mainly prefer para or semi para threads but i'm okay with one liners or something short and simple too :] that being said, mutuals are more than welcome to send me asks, tag me in random threads ect! we're mutuals because i want to interact with you and your muse(s)

as of now i'm caught up with the manga and the anime itself. and i'm 100% open to writing rody with other characters prior to certain events that take place (whether it be the final battle or even his own movie).

that being said i will not be tagging spoilers so follow at your own risk..

i think that's all for now. my discord is available for mutuals only upon request! i look forward to writing with you!! <333

[deadthemind]

The Unspoken Weight of Love: Unraveling Memory and Grief in Aftersun

What’s so haunting about Aftersun is how it portrays the relationship between Calum and Sophie as both intimate and unknowable. Calum is so deeply present in Sophie’s life during their vacation—listening to her, encouraging her independence, and showing her endless love. Yet, he’s simultaneously slipping away, weighed down by something she cannot see. His love for Sophie is palpable, but it’s also tethered to an immense sadness, a sense that he believes he’s failing her or that he’s not enough. That tension—between his love and his private pain—permeates the entire film and makes every small interaction feel loaded with unspoken emotion.

The way Aftersun presents memory is devastating in itself. It’s not linear; it’s fragmented, hazy, and colored by adult Sophie’s retrospective grief. The use of the camcorder, for instance, adds a layer of artificiality to these cherished moments, reminding us that even our most vivid memories are imperfect recreations. Adult Sophie isn’t just remembering her father—she’s interrogating those memories, trying to reconcile the happy, carefree image of him from her childhood with the quieter, darker truths she now understands. This dissonance captures the universal ache of realizing, too late, the depth of someone’s struggles.

Calum’s attempts to shield Sophie from his pain are almost unbearable to watch. There’s a scene where he dances or smiles, but there’s a weight behind it—a forced lightness that feels more like desperation than joy. It’s as though he’s holding back an emotional flood, trying to give Sophie something pure and untarnished while knowing he’s barely holding it together. This dynamic is tragically familiar to anyone who’s seen a loved one try to carry their pain in silence.

The film also quietly explores the idea of legacy—not in the grand sense of achievements, but in the subtle ways we leave pieces of ourselves behind in others. Sophie carries Calum’s warmth, his curiosity, and his love, but she also carries his absence. That absence—the unanswered questions, the things left unsaid—shapes her adult life just as much as his presence once did. It’s heartbreaking to think that Calum, in his quiet despair, might have believed he was failing as a father, while Sophie remembers him as the most important person in her world.

What really lingers is the way Aftersun handles grief—not as something loud or dramatic, but as a quiet, enduring ache. The moments of joy during their vacation feel fragile, like they’re suspended in time, but they’re forever shadowed by the knowledge of what comes later. The film doesn’t give us neat answers about what happened to Calum; instead, it leaves us with Sophie’s unanswered questions, her longing to understand a father who kept so much of himself hidden.

And that ending—it’s so haunting because it refuses to resolve the tension. The final scenes, where Calum fades away, feel like a metaphor for how grief works: you’re left with fragments of memory, images and feelings you can’t quite grasp fully. The open-endedness isn’t just about Calum’s fate; it’s about the impossibility of truly knowing someone. Even the people we love most, the ones we think we understand, carry parts of themselves that remain forever out of reach.

Aftersun is about those parts—the silences, the private battles, the emotional terrain we never get to see. It’s a testament to how much we miss in the moment and how, years later, we try to piece together the truth through the fractured lens of memory. It’s a profoundly human story, one that captures the beauty, fragility, and tragedy of loving someone who is both deeply present and painfully distant.

[woodenisms]

“ i've lived a lifetime of selfishness, cowardice, and dishonesty... and only i can cure that. not MAGIC. not science. just me. ”

independent roleplay based on AUGUST W. BOOTH from abc's once upon a time.

est. 2012, re=established 2024

formerly the-w-stands-for-wayne and xbelixver

rules and character bio below (for now)

RULES

o1. mun (aka bex) is 32yo, and does not feel comfortable interacting with underage persons. therefore, for my comfort, this is a 21+ blog.

o2. this is a medium to low-activity blog. i work 40 hours or more a week & need to focus my energy on that. sometimes i will be able to invest more time here, but that will not be the norm.

o3. at some point this will likely become a more private blog that will interact almost exclusively with mutuals. for now, anyone is welcome to send memes or asks, respond to open starters or request starters.

o4. i am not really a fan of writing smut, it makes me uncomfortable. i am an adult & i can handle it on my dash but it is not for me. that being said, nsfw content could still end up on this blog & i will be sure to tag it as such. i will be doing my best to tag any & all problematic content that may appear, using a tag styled ' __ cw". if there is anything you need tagged, please feel free to shoot me a message to let me know. this is my space, but that doesn't mean i can't try to make it safe for you guys too.

o5. all relationships are in alternate universes, unless otherwise stated, or in the case of characters mine have a history within their bio. like all human beings, i have my own personal favourite ships. do NOT feel obligated, because you roleplay as the corresponding character, to write our characters as having any kind of romantic relationship. i won't force ships on you, please do the same.

BIOGRAPHY

It all started when a lonely carpenter made himself a son out of wood…

Animated by the enchanted wood he was made from, Pinocchio stayed wood until the day he risked himself to save his father. The Blue Fairy rewarded this act of selflessness by making him a real boy, warning him that the magic would only last if he remained “brave, truthful, and unselfish.” But that would be harder than expected.

When the Evil Queen’s curse came around, Geppetto was tasked with building a magical wardrobe that would send baby Emma to the world with no magic. There was enough magic for two, so the carpenter also sent his son, telling the boy to take care of Emma. This new world was riddled with temptations, and a seven-year-old boy is only capable of so much willpower. He left Emma in foster care, where he thought she might be taken better care of, and went out into this world on his own.

“August”, as he was now called, spent the next 28 years becoming self-sufficient and self taught. He traveled the world, experiencing its many temptations, its many pleasures. He cherished his freedom - perhaps a bit too much. Aside from the occasional shadowing to make sure she was still on the right path, he ultimately failed his promise to watch over Emma until she could break the curse. And he received a painful reminder of that promise the day the saviour found her way to Storybrooke. His magic had worn off, he was slowly turning back into a puppet.

In a world with no magic, wood was just wood. It couldn’t move or talk, it just laid there.

Afraid for his life, and after failing to find some small bit of magic that could save him, August hopped on his motorcycle and made his way to Storybrooke, hoping beyond all hope that breaking the curse would save him. But with his fate resting on Emma’s shoulders, it would be no easy task. ****this version of august does not end up being turned into a little boy again. in the main verse, he gets turned back into august– with some memory loss.

[yearninggirl]

Dairy Entry 001

Writing definitely comes easier when I’m sad. Sometimes I feel the heavy pain of what it means to be a human. I’m trying to articulate it all on here, I’m going to try my best.

Sometimes I think the sadness and emptiness has escaped me, but I think it’s a part of me. It sits there like a dark cloud, hovering over me reminding me all the reasons I should be miserable. It’s super convincing.

I don’t even know where to start, I know a feeling that I’m very familiar with is loneliness. Since I could remember, I’ve felt it, I knew I was the odd one out, sticking out like a sore thumb. I’ve literally never been able to shake this. I’m distracted from it, I accept it. But I can’t help but feel so foreign.

I think this is why I cling onto romantic relationships. If I’m fuckable I have to be accepted by my romantic partners. But I struggle with community. I don’t trust people, I feel like they won’t get me. I love people. I crave intamacy and I love togetherness. But it also stings at the same time. I love people so much and I don’t know if they’ll ever feel the same way about me.

I think I go out of my way to comfort people, make sure they are heard, make them know that I see the human in them, let them know they are never alone and they are valued and important. I think I do this because of how lonely, unimportant, insignificant and unforgettable I feel. I will do anything to make sure no one else feels this way. But it only makes me feel worse. Am I coming on too strong? Does this even matter? Do people even care? Do people think I’m weird for this?

I have a boyfriend who is amazing. He is my soulmate, I know this. He understands me. I get scared because I think I will consume him, I’m very all or nothing. Unlucky for him, because he understands me, I will become a burden. He will likely grow tired of me crying, my jealous remarks when he tells me about his cherished friendships. How he belongs in other groups and how he can talk to anyone with ease or make friends on a dime. I could never do that. I am actively trying to stop myself from idoslising him, using him as an object of comfort and vicarious living. I love him so I won’t let it become this way.

Typing this I have a lump in my throat. When I started my antidepressants they worked really well for me. I thought this because I was having multiple panic attacks throughout the day and they helped me get through the day and function like I’m supposed to. Now I think they are making me depressed. It all feels really bleak.

I think the most important thing for living beings is love and belonging. And community. It’s so undervalued in todays world where individuality is placed on a pedestal. And being private. Withholding love. Worrying that we are doing too much. How do other people survive this? I crave a love and acceptance that I am yet to find anywhere. What am I looking for? What was I deprived of that leaves me bleeding and wanting and injured?

Anyhow. I will make myself dinner probably some pasta, drink some peppermint tea and have my YouTube in the background, to mimic human interaction. Or maybe music to stop me from thinking. Then tomorrow I will go to work, come back and do the same thing again.