#But it popped up in my memories today
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Jimmy would plaster âhappy disability pride month cripplesâ absolutely everywhere he can anytime July first rolls around. And the main reason for this is just to start internet discourse over the use of the word
#south park#jimmy valmer#service dog au#look at me making a#Jimmy post for the first time#Sorry yâall I have a ss of that shirt#In my camera roll from like#Two months back and I canât remember the#Context of why I have it#But it popped up in my memories today#And I immediately thought of this#wip: butterfly verse
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
* is . Is there even anyone out there rn whos seriously into dwtd . am I seriously into dwtd? Idk i just like stupe a lot
#digital art#fanart#dumb ways to die#dwtd#wait im sorry i saw dwtd pop up when i wrote that do people make dumb ways to die aus ?? i gotta check that out#cw severed head#severed head cw#tw severed head#severed head tw#just in case :oP#dwtd stupe#stupe dwtd#stupe#dumb ways to die stupe#stupe dumb ways to die#i went on a bit of a trip down memory lane today i watched Alllll the parodies i watched as a kid#my favorite parody was always viver com saĂșde#that comfused âi saw dwtd pop upâ tag was supposed to say âi saw dwtd au pop upâ blehh i dont think
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.
#*text#talk about unpleasant#sorry for only posting textposts here lately. I Forgot how I use this blog.#Also I'm gonna use this as an excuse to vent in the tags about something that's been bothering me today.#I hate days where it feels like I can't be the same person for even. idk. an hour?#I was gonna say just a general statement of 'I hate how I can't feel like the same person for more than an hour' but then I realized it onl#particularly bothered me today so maybe it's just a sometimes thing. throws hands up in the air I WOUDLN'T KNOW#It's just...nothing I do throughout the day matches. i keep starting new things only to forget about them (or forget how much I cared#about them) and try something else later. resulting in a long line of unfinished stuff and frustration.#I keep trying to come up with new conclusions/solutions to problems I've run through my head a million times already.#problems I didn't know I had or forgot about pop up etc.#I'll be doing fine and then I'll just feel stranded out of nowhere with no idea why and trying to figure out if this is normal for me.#I've felt stranded all day.#it's just ugh. i'm so confused. it's been a day i guess.#all the words i write feel kinda foreign to me sometimes. short term memory problems I guess. âïž#but also I feel very very locked in a really limited worldview. or just like. my world feels very small like tunnel vision kind of thing an#for that reason it just feels like it'll go on the same forever and ever and ever. which is a very scary thought.#idk if my logical 'well that obviously isn't the case. things will change eventually' rebuttal is good enough to go against it.#so there you go I wrapped it all back to the point of the post: feeling trapped. yayyy#i don't mean to make myself sound so sad and pitiful. usually i'm doing fine and bad things kinda just don't register in my brain#but there are Secret Evil Feelings inside me that I don't even know about and sometimes I like to poke them with a stick.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text

one of the more inspiring yet vaguely threatening emails i've received in my academic career
72 notes
·
View notes
Text

Books of 2023. THE MEMORY POLICE by Yoko Ogawa.
#books of 2023#the memory police#yoko ogawa#books#book photography#a review popped up somewhere that made me think this could count as driscoll-adjacent#giving it a shot to see!!#also yeah i know it wasn't on my Ambitions TBR Stack leaf me aloooone#babel was supposed to take me more than twelve (12) days to read lmao#i'm gonna do this one and then start split tooth i think#i did also get another migrations box in the mail today and i MIGHT fuck around and read some of those sooner rather than later#again: we'll see!!
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Miley Cyrus is thirty, and I used to think that sounded old but now it just sounds thirty. Hannah Montana was my first pop iconâor obsession. I remember my shoes, my shirts with her teenage face printed on with that flimsy wigâI wanted one just like it, or of my own. Just wanted to be someone different and older. And I'm twenty-four now and I still haven't dyed my hair blonde. Still a redhead, I'm afraid, but that made my dead grandmother very proud. I remember that 3D concert movie in third grade premiering in theaters. You know I wore my favorite shoes to it. I had to. How could I go out to the live Hannah Montana experience without those dirty white sneakers with a cheap gold paint? My prized possessions. And she sang the first song she ever wrote, "I Miss You," for her grandfather, and I just thought: Wow, what a big girl, who can do so much, make her own music, sing it in front of millions, and who has experienced so much. Now it seems like not all that much to me. When Meet Miley Cyrus came out as a double-album with Hannah Montana 2, you know I was blasting it in my bedroom, singing and dancing to those songs like I wrote 'em. Like they were mine. I suppose they still are, and so were Bangerz and Dead Petz for me in high school, and Younger Now when I was eighteen, a legal adult but a little baby, but supposedly not "stuck in East Northumberland High for the rest of my life"â I guess people do change. But did I really? And did Miley really? Surely she did, she has, over and over again. Changed genres, sounds, and looks. Supposedly so have I. I wear bras now, at least when I go out in public, but Miley also taught me what nipple pasties are. You see? She's an icon, a legend and an educator, a role model but never wanted to be one, was never old enough to be one when she was forced to be. Miley Cyrus is thirty, and I'm twenty-four. Now she says we used to be young. Can't deny that that's true. The years go by, though, and we're still in our same skins, with new cells, with changed voices, but still singing.
"Miley Cyrus is Thirty" - an ekphrastic free verse of "Used to be Young" (2023) by Miley Cyrus, written 8/26/2023
#free verse#2023#ekphrasis#ekphrastic poetry#free meter#stream of consciousness#miley cyrus#hannah montana#nostalgia#used to be young#pop culture#ive had the first three lines of this poem rattling in my mind for awhile but they never really took form until today#poem#poetry#my miley cyrus anecdotes go on and on and on ill have you know#i have so many memories w miley that this poem feels like it still doesnt do her justice but who knows#i could write a sequel. or maybe i never will#but hannah montana premiered when i was in first grade. and i got my first period the same month it ended#you can only imagine the emotional effect that had on sixth grade me#i was devastated. i truly felt like i was Growing Up#and i still am and so is miley. good for us#but also we've sure cried a lot in that time haven't we?
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
about to vent in the tags real quick gonna be annoying and emo sorry in advance
#Iâm back in my hometown this weekend bc my sister had a birthday party today and I baked cake pops for it and made her a bday sign#and tomorrow is my momâs birthday too#and my (insane) set of grandparents are here this weekend so itâs already exhausting#bc my grandmother is very narcissistic and she talks incessantly#but then I feel left out and lame and itâs just triggering teenage memories#bc my younger brother and younger sister are going with their partners to hang out with each other#and I didnât get invited#well technically I guess but my mom literally had to be like âmake sure to invite Omaâ#and then my siblings are like oh yeah you know you can come#like no I donât want to come now bc it feels like a pity invite#and now it just reminds me that Iâm the black sheep of the family#in the sense of Iâm the âweirdâ one#Iâm the one that doesnât fit in culturally with where I grew up#(I grew up with rural small town Alabama btw)#and a part of me is so proud and happy I donât fit in#I have my own convictions and beliefs and interests outside of the way I grew up#but also itâs kind of isolating in a way from my own family#like i know im seen as the liberal one who moved to the city and who isnât âcountryâ#plus because I had a really bad anxiety disorder growing up and I isolated myself due to it Iâm seen as weird or standoffish#anyway#iâll probably delete this later#just needed to type it out
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that?#because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought#i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy#its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere#bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like#normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes#possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my#reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it#i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything#in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place#i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass#i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired#god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or#read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill#so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating#its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage#bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it đȘ#i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn#unrelated
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today in your memory reminders for photos and collages...do people truly enjoy those? Or are they always just a minefield of hey do you remember this awful time?
#mumblings#thanks memory pop up I never wanted for the punch in the face reminder that today's the day after a 13+ hour flight#that i missed saying goodbye to my mother#truly despise you memory pop up with all my heart but thankfully I think I destroyed it's ability to do that again#which is good because the start of summer is just a minefield for those
4 notes
·
View notes
Text

#this popped up in my fb memories today#i thought id post it here bc im sure tumblr folks can relate#ok to reblog#Ally's personal life#real life
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
apparently now we get to have flashbacks to the weird period between mid 2015 and late 2016 where our mental health took some absolutely wild hits, plus the odd flashback to mid 2017, so I guess it's time to deal with this stuff again
#personal#thoughts#đŹ post#vent post#I've had like 3 or 4 different things today that kind of combined to be really triggering and bring up some stuff from years ago#this stuff's always weird to deal with because it's from before I was here#like these are our memories but they're not my memories. I wasn't around for them#I used to not be able to remember any of it without other alters that were there telling me about it and showing me the memories#and I know a lot of these are memories that my source memories would normally mask because the emotions are the same#they're not even necessarily specific big events. we get a lot of mundane flashbacks and that's mostly what this is#but it still ends up being a really shitty time because of stuff like nostalgia and the fact that we were doing so badly back then#I think there's a lot of emotions that should have just happened and then finished happening and dissipated or whatever emotions do#but instead got shoved down and just stuck around as they were at the time and they randomly pop back up seemingly just as strong#so now our brain thinks it's 2016 again and I have to deal with the wild emotional shit we had going on as a teenager
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
aw damn it
#watching bones#a dog died on the show#and my phone popped up today with yknow the memories thing of photos you took x time ago#one of the last times i saw my jed was this week 2 years ago. 3 years ago? i don't remember time is weird#anyway he died this year#i didn't get to see him often but like he was my dog yknow#he's buried in a really nice place but i'll probably never get to see it cs now my parents areall in the uk i haveno reason to go to france#so now i'm crying a lot#speaking of graves now my sister has her name written somewhere i should probably go and see it#it's just nice to know it's there it took 27 years to put her name in stone so i should go see it#or. idk it's in stone it's on a wall somewhere in the crem. but still she never had that before last month.#ohhh 2023 has been too much of a year#everything everything at once#my auntie told me yesterday (mum's dropped her phone in the canal again) that#my gran didn't have her kidney removed (cancer) on thursday cs she has irregular heart rhythm? so they're looking this week instead#she's almost 70 she has cancer on her kidney ovaries and smth on her lung and she can't have blood transfusion and she has smth w her heart#well at least i'm only crying about recent stuff now#pffffft i'm going to make tea#everything is yuck this year
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
One time my high school tried to revive its old tradition of having a bonfire the week before homecoming. They hadnât tried it in 3 decades so some of the logistics off and they forgot to hype it up to the students.
So day of it was basically the marching band, cheerleaders and football team (who were forced to be there whether they wanted to or not) leading the like 15 other kids who showed up from the school in the freezing cold down the street to some random field with a GIGANTIC pile of wood and a guy from the fire department goes to light the fire but nothing happens
Heâs trying to light it for 20 minutes before they realize the wood was leftover pallets donated from a local warehouse and they had all been treated with flame retardant so you know, the warehouse wouldnât burn down. So now you have 15 vaguely disappointed kids (who chose to be there) calling their parents to pick them up plus like 200 athletes and band kids absolutely furious that they were forced to do this stupid thing
#I donât know the point of this story#just that it was weird and popped up in my memory today#high school#valsadventures
0 notes
Text
Stacyâs Mom Has Got It Goinâ On ËÌŁÌŁ á”ÌŁÌŁÌŁÌŁÌŁÌŁ
Pairing: Husband!Rafe Cameron x Soccer-mom!Wife!Reader


Itâs not easy being a soccer-mom, especially when dads hit on you at every game as if youâre not married to Rafe.
Wc: 1,596
Fluff, Protective Rafe making an appearance, kinda pushy guy (idk what to say)
An: Iâve really wanted to write a fic based on this song, and this idea randomly popped into my head so! Am I using the names I wanna name my kids? Yes, yes I am.
Not proofread tbh
Feedback always appreciated lovelies!! xx
âIâll be back, âmkay doll?â
You hum in acknowledgement, eyes peering back at the field after looking up.
Your husband, Rafe, leant down and places a firm kiss on your forehead.
âYeahhh, Daddyâs gonna be back, baby.â Rafe coos at your two year old, who was sitting on your lap, babbling freely while peering at him with her big doe eyes.
Rafe walks off the bleachers in search of the concession stand to buy food for the three of you.
You brush your hand over your young daughterâs head, making sure her somewhat oversized hat is still covering her head entirely. Her hand wraps around your index finger.
It was oddly humid today, if you continued moving, youâd break a slight sweat. You can't even imagine what your daughterâStacy must be feeling, running around on the large grassy field under the beaming bright sun.
You were proud of your baby girl though, nonetheless. And so was Rafe, of course.
You shout loudly when you notice the game is about to start, bellowing out a âGo Stacy!â
Stacyâs eyes easily found yours, for you and Rafe would always sit in the same spot on the bleachers.
Her eyes were slightly wide due to your shout, despite you and Rafe always cheering for her during her games.
Sheâs motioning for you to âshhâ, putting her fingers to her lips before getting into her position.
âWhich oneâs yours?â You hear to the left of you, the unknown voice makes you tear your eyes away from the field.
You smile shortly at the unfamiliar man next to you, âNumber 22.â
You canât help but notice how heâs rather scruffy looking, an odd contrast to your upkept husband with his neatly buzzed hair.
âMineâs number 13.â He says, flashing his teeth at you.
You gasp and shoot up a little, making you look down at your daughter on your lap. âValerieâs yours? Oh sheâs just the sweetest!â
The man chuckles, looking deeply in your eyes. This makes your eyebrows raise, slightly in confusion, but mostly in discomfort.
He hadnât done anything out of the norm, youâd randomly talk to the other moms around too, but something about him made you uncomfortable.
âMy name's Brandon, and yours?â
You introduce yourself briefly, before turning back towards the game.
His eyes dart to your left hand, looking for a ring, for any indication that you belong to someone else. He smiles sharply when he finds your fingers bare. This goes unnoticed by you.
Little does he know, you do have your ring on, just around your neck.
Your biggest fear was your youngest accidentally pulling off your ring, resulting in you losing it. Or, even worse: it pokes her eye or something of that nature.
You suppose you could be considered a âHelicopter-momâ at times, simply going to the extremes to make sure your kids are happy and healthy at every point in time.
Rafe is the exact same way, maybe even a little worse. But you knew he was just protective, he loves this life that he has with you, since he had no idea the two of you wouldâve been together for so long.
You had started dating Rafe when you were 18 and he was 19. It was good for the first few months, disregarding the few arguments that you had. But then, you had caught Rafe doing cocaine.
You donât think youâll ever be able to shake the look on his face from your memory.
You werenât supposed to be at the party, you said you were busy filling out college applications.
So when he was mid-line, and he saw you standing there all dolled up, watching him with glossy eyes, he felt his heart shatter into pieces.
You werenât supposed to find out, he wanted to keep this away from you, to keep you close to him.
He promised that he would try and stay sober for you, but eventually heâd give in every time the opportunity was in front of him. This resulted in several arguments, and surprisingly, a break up.
But things are different now. You both are in your 30âs, you got married, and of course, had two beautiful babies together.
Rafe knew heâd be crazy to fuck things up now, when he has the perfect life right in front of him.
Speaking of which; youâre really starting to wonder what the hell is taking him so long just to get some goddamn hotdogs and drinks.
Youâre bouncing your knee anxiously, which makes your daughter giggle. You wish she wasnât finding this amusing, but you know she canât help it.
âWell whoâs this cute girl, huh?â The man coos, tickling your daughterâs side.
âHer name is Noelle.â You huff, your mood quickly shifting due to this stranger touching your daughter.
He lets out another chuckle, you wish you never had to hear it again. âSounds like youâre quoting Teenage Dirtbag to me.â
You give him a pointed look, youâre really getting sick of his pestering. âThatâs where I got it from.â
Abruptly, the crowd starts cheering madly. You look around and see Stacy's team celebrating briefly; they had just scored a goal.
You cheer and clap, grabbing Noelleâs chubby hands and making her raise her arms wildly while giggling with her.
âYâknow, Iâve been thinking. Maybe we could-â Before Brandon could finish his sentence, none other than Rafe Cameron comes stomping up the bleachers, huffing and puffing angrily.
He sits down and sighs, âGod, Iâm sorry babe. The line was so long! I swear Iâm going grey right now.â
âAnd I missed the goddamn play!â Rafe exclaims. He looks over at you and immediately goes quiet once he sees those wide baby eyes that look at him curiously.
âDa?â Noelle mutters, reaching her tiny hands towards Rafeâs larger ones.
âYeah. Daâs here babygirl, do you want your food? Huh sweet girl?â
Rafe hands you your food, setting his food aside so he can put Noelle in his lap. He begins to split half his hotdog in pieces for her.
You glance to the left, you notice Brandon looking like a fish out of water.
Rafe is the CEO of one of, if not the biggest business company around. And Brandon had just borderline harassed his wife, who was holding his child.
Brandon sneers at the two of you in silence while the game continues, nearly boiling at the fact that he couldnât have you.
Your head is laying on Rafeâs shoulders, youâre rubbing circles on Noelleâs shoulder as she settles down.
âEverything alright babe?â Rafe asks, trying to peer down at your face.
You untuck your necklace with your wedding ring from your shirt, fiddling with it. âYeah, now that youâre here Ray.â
Thereâs silence between the two of you for a few seconds.
ââŠWhat does that mean?â
You hesitate to answer, but you do regardless, âNothing! Itâs just uh..That guy next to me, was kinda like hassling me I guess.â
This makes Rafe straighten his back.
âHe do somethinâ to you doll?â Rafe questions in a whisper. You know you have about 30 seconds to try and calm him down before heâs banned from every soccer game left in the season.
âNo, okay? Iâm fine, itâs cool. I need you to calm down Ray.â
Rafeâs nose is flaring, âWhat about Ellie? Did he touch her?â
You feel your throat closing up, your heart is damn near pounding out of your chest.
You donât say anything to Rafe, but that look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know.
You grab his bicep, trying to keep him grounded. Even though heâs changed, some parts of him havenât.
Rafe speaks lowly in your ear, but not too much to frighten you in any way. âIâll take care of it, okay? Donât worry yâpretty little head about it.â
Rafe presses a firm kiss against your cheek, then presses a softer one to your lips.
After 30 more minutes, and 2 more goals, Stacyâs team wins.
You and Rafe cheer loudly, letting out âThatâs our baby girl!â
You meet Stacy at the bottom of the bleachers, holding Noelle in your hand as the littlest claps her hands between Stacyâs face.
Youâre too busy congratulating your daughter to notice Rafe pulling Brandon aside while his daughter, Valerie is off talking to her friends.
Rafe puts a firm hand on his shoulder, âHey man.â
Brandon lets out a nervous laugh, âHey there, Rafe Cameron, right?â
âYeah, letâs keep this short. I better not see or hear you talking to my wife again, do you hear me? I donât give a shit what happened.â
Rafe continues shortly, âAnd keep your fucking hands to yourself, if I find out you touched my either of my daughters again, I swear to God himself Iâll put you under.â
The two men are holding eye contact, one looks with confidence and borderline rage, while the other looks with fear.
Rafe walks down the bleachers, meeting you and your girls.
âYou were amazing out there sweetheart!â Rafe smiles while pulling Stacy into a bear hug.
âJesus dad, youâre crushing me!â Stacy laughs with a slight wheeze.
Rafe ruffles her hair and puts his arm around your neck.
âAll good to go?â
You nod your head, and with that, the four of you begin to walk to Rafeâs parked car.
Rafe realizes that this isnât the first time youâve been hit on at a soccer game, or anywhere in fact. And this definitely wonât be the last.
Cause everybodyâs in love with Stacyâs mom.
#leeâs writing! âáą. Ì«.áąâ#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outer banks#obx x reader#obx x you#outer banks imagine#Spotify
4K notes
·
View notes
Text




scenes from todayâs walk
#the way that tree grew around the pole#thereâs a metaphor in there#about the things we ingest and take on as part of ourselves#in order to continue surviving#how sometimes thereâs no way to remove whatâs there#growth as in incorporating your environment into your being#growth as in consuming whatâs in front of you#idk#also the close up of the petrified wood is really pretty#this was a particularly chilling walk because the woods used to have a very very large population of people living outside/camping there#iâve been going to those woods regularly to hang out and give out supplies for three or four years#and it got swept and entirely cleaned out#little to no remnants of the lives that were built there#it was eery to say the least#i felt haunted by my own memories#of the many days and nights i spent out there at camp with many friends who i have since lost contact with#and how i used to just pop up over there renaromly to find them#and then popping over there today to find a fallen tree where the campsite i spent the most time at used to be#no people out there at all#it was really weird#ecopunk#forest#petrified wood#trees#nature#grass#urban decay#anarchopunk#environmentalism#woods
1 note
·
View note
Text
How bad would it be if I started making fanart for a mcyt series from ten years ago that probably no one remembers and neither of the people involved in it post minecraft content anymore đŹ
#one of the guys seems to be like a big time fortnite youtuber now running under a different name.#my sibling who used to be into fortnite recognized him and seemed generally displeased lol#the other guy. the guy i used to watch when i was like nine and had just discovered mcyt.#seems to have wiped all of his gaming videos off the face of the internet#and taken a swift right turn into instagram entrepreneur influencing#he might also be an nft bro based of a podcast interview that popped up when i was looking into him#so. uh. bad. generally.#on the other hand though. silly minecraft dinosaur mod series that introduced me to mcyt as a kid#i am having a nostalgia moment cause i randomly came across the mod again in a random modpack i was playing today lol#went through youtube trying to find this series from a decade ago from some guy who's name i couldn't remember#clicking through fucking playlist after playlist. literally almost cried when this guy did his intro cause the recognition was so instant#would it count as healing my inner child if i just got really into this series again and ignored everything these guys do now#in favor of freezing them as the silly minecraft dino guys in my memory
0 notes