#But he didn’t actually. That would suggest he can just burn people like that regardless of whether he owns their souls or not
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castielmacleod · 2 years ago
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Thinking about Crowley and pyromancy
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leighbaylee · 2 months ago
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I JUST READ YOUR BEN'S BUNKER FIC AND IT WAS SO YUMMY! I'm not sure if it's your writing style or the way the Reader was depicted but I'm in love!! I haven't explored your blog for requesting rules or anything yet, but I'd love if you would write something similar to that fic for the losers! \(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/
— QUARRY PARADISE
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written by mina leigh ୨ৎ , the losers 𝔁 f! reader | wc 2700
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summary. it was the hottest derry, maine has been. after a quick trip for ice cream, you convince the losers to take a small dip in the quarry. you all meet up later that day prepared and bike the way there, ready to feel the refreshing water coating your skin.
labels. girly girl reader, happy go lucky, sweet & shy reader, hyper feminine reader, no definite description of reader, reader goes by y/n, she/her pronouns, closest with richie toizer & eddie kaspbrak.
warnings. possible language, mentions of fear/anxiety, minor physical teasing (all in good fun).
‧₊˚ ୨୧ mina speaks. i’m so happy you enjoyed it! i really didn’t think it would appeal to anyone but i really appreciate it babes! lots of love, this one - shot goes specifically to you. ♡
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the sun was relentless, beating down on derry like it was trying to burn the small town into nothing. the ice cream in your hand had already melted half down your wrist, and you watched as the losers struggled to finish theirs before it became a complete disaster.
you couldn’t help but laugh as richie dramatically groaned, holding out his cone. ❝ i swear, if this thing gets any messier, i’m throwing it in the trash. ❞
❝ you wouldn’t dare, ❞ you teased, knowing full well richie would probably shove it in someone’s face before wasting it.
you sat on the curb of the ice cream shop, legs tucked beneath you as you felt the heat radiate off the sidewalk. derry wasn’t usually this hot, but today was different, and your friends were all trying to keep cool with their sticky, melting treats.
eddie sat beside you, carefully licking at his cone like it was a mission he had to complete without any error. his eyes darted over to richie. ❝ you do realize you’re supposed to eat it, right? not just complain about it? ❞
richie grinned, messy and smug. ❝ oh, eds, you know me so well. ❞
you wiped the drips of ice cream from your wrist, turning to look at the group. ❝ it’s too hot to sit here, ❞ you sighed, squinting against the sunlight. ❝ we should do something fun. ❞
stan raised an eyebrow, always the practical one. ❝ like what? the pool’s too crowded. ❞
you huffed.
❝ the quarry, ❞ you suggested, the idea hitting you like a breath of fresh air. ❝ it’s perfect! we can cool off, and it won’t be packed with people like the pool. ❞
there was a brief silence as everyone considered it. bill was the first to nod, his face already flushed from the heat. ❝ sounds good to m-m-me, ❞ he agreed, looking around to gauge the others.
you squealed, kissing his cheek all in good fun. ❝ thank you, thank you, thank you bill! i knew you would agree. ❞
he smilled softy placing his hand where your lips touched his face gently.
ben smiled softly, wiping sweat from his forehead. ❝ yeah, i’m in. we just have to be careful. ❞
❝ oh, come on, ben, ❞ richie groaned. ❝ it’s not like we’re jumping off cliffs. we’re just gonna swim. ❞
❝ actually, that’s exactly what the quarry is, ❞ eddie corrected, looking mildly horrified at the thought of jumping into the water.
you nudged him lightly with your elbow. ❝ it’ll be fun, eddie. we’ll just float around in the water, i promise. ❞
❝ if they do end up doing so, i’ll just accompany you regardless! ❞
he sighed, but there was a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ❝ fine, but if i get an infection, i’m blaming you. ❞
you laughed, standing up and dusting off your shorts. ❝ deal. let’s meet back up later. we can bike there together. ❞
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later that day, you found yourself biking down the familiar path to the quarry, the warm air rushing past as you pedaled alongside your friends. richie rode beside you, tossing out jokes every few seconds, his glasses slipping down his nose as the wind whipped through his hair.
❝ so, y/n, ❞ he said, leaning closer with a smirk, ❝ if eddie starts panicking, you’re on distraction duty. ❞
he didn’t have to tell you twice.
you grinned, swerving playfully to avoid a rock in the path. ❝ oh, don’t worry. i’ve got it covered. ❞
you arrived at the quarry, parking your bikes in the usual spot. the shimmering water below looked so inviting, and the heat of the day made the idea of jumping in even more appealing. you quickly peeled off your shoes, giggling as the others did the same, some more enthusiastically than others.
you were sporting a cute red gingham ruffled swimsuit underneath a pair of old jean shorts.
eddie lingered by the edge, eyeing the water nervously. ❝ this … looks a lot higher than i remember. ❞
richie rolled his eyes, already halfway to the ledge. ❝ that’s because you’re standing up here like a loser. come on, eddie, don’t be a wuss. ❞
you shot richie a quick look, gently tugging eddie toward the water. ❝ ignore him. he’s just showing off. we’ll take it slow, alright? ❞
eddie nodded, still not convinced, but trusting you enough to step closer.
ben, stan, and bill were already easing into the water from a lower point, avoiding the jump. you followed suit, dipping your toes in and shivering as the coolness spread up your legs. it was freezing at first, but the relief was immediate, making you sigh in contentment.
❝ oh my god, this feels amazing, ❞ you murmured, wading in deeper.
eddie, with your help, finally stepped in, wincing as the cold water hit his skin. ❝ it’s so cold! ❞
❝ don’t worry eds, you’ll get used to it, ❞ you assured him, giving him a small splash. ❝ just float, and you’ll forget all about it. ❞
as soon as everyone was in the water, it turned into a game of splashes and laughter. richie, of course, was the loudest, egging everyone on as he swam circles around you and eddie, trying to start a splash war.
❝ you guys are no fun, ❞ he teased, pushing his glasses up as he slicked back his hair.
you giggled, splashing him lightly. ❝ maybe we just don’t want to get our hair wet, ❞ you shot back playfully.
richie scoffed, clutching his chest dramatically. ❝ y/n, you wound me. ❞
the rest of the afternoon passed in easy joy, the cool water providing the perfect escape from the oppressive heat. you floated on your back at one point, letting the sun warm your face while the water kept the rest of you cool. you could hear the others splashing and joking around nearby, the sound of your friends’ voices mixing with the soft ripple of the quarry.
eddie floated beside you, eyes closed and content. ❝ thanks for making me come. ❞ he said quietly, barely audible over the splashes.
you smiled softly, turning your head toward him. ❝ anytime, eds. ❞
as the sun began to dip lower in the sky, you all reluctantly made your way out of the water, the air now feeling cool against your wet skin. you wrapped yourself in the towel you’d brought, sitting on the rocks to dry off as the others did the same.
richie flopped down beside you, shaking his wet hair like a dog. ❝ so, y/n, think you could survive a summer in derry without us? ❞
you glanced over at him, grinning. ❝ not a chance. ❞
you reached for beverly’s hand, accepting your touch of affection returned the favor and giggled along with you.
to turned to the losers and furrowed your eyebrows and smiled a bit as a small amount of heat rushed through your face. flustered.
❝ thanks for coming with me guys, i love you all so much. ❞
© MINA LEIGH 2023 - 2024
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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 7 months ago
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Yuu can do it!
Part 43
First - Previous - Masterlist - Next
You know, they hadn’t meant to garner genuine respect from the Savanaclaw students (their intent had been only to make them fear them enough that they wouldn’t be targetted for the rest of their stay at the dorm), and they weren’t really sure how to react to it. He supposed they should have known, though, so this was on them. It was obvious, in hindsight. As Kuroki so eloquently put it, “Yajugen are still beastmen.” Their animalistic traits weren’t just for show. They had heightened senses and, more importantly, instincts – the claw marks in Enma’s sleeve that Kuroki had yet to fix for him were a pretty good example of that. Scratches, even with claws, wouldn’t do nearly as much damage as good old-fashioned blunt-force trauma, which is why the students had gone for that with Kuroki. But logic didn’t matter because, during a fight (especially one you’re losing), there usually isn’t much time to think through every move, and instincts are all you have to rely on. And their instincts were, apparently, still somewhat animalistic in nature.
So, if you went further on the idea of them having instincts, you would eventually land on them having a survival of the fittest mentality. Having defeated them in ‘battle’, Enma supposed that it made some sense that the Savanaclaw students now respected them a little bit.
However, that had only made Enma more confused. If they believed in survival of the fittest, why would they be doing… all of this? Active sabotage wasn’t something he would call animalistic behavior, so why?
Well, he supposed he could try asking. Seeing as the Savanaclaw students (or, at least, the ones who weren’t confined to their dorms, struggling to catch up a second time after all of their stuff had mysteriously vanished) had become… almost friendly with them.
Like right now. Ito and Kuroki were trying to teach him to cook again, which was fine and normal, but now there were other people around. Probably partially because they had realized that Enma was absolutely not good at cooking and they didn’t want their dorm to burn down, but regardless, this was still very different than how they’d been treated for the past week.
“Something’s burning,” the person with fox ears called.
Enma yelped and rushed to flip the shrimp. They might have fought him to stick to the pan, and they might have been a little charred, but it was not enough to be a huge problem yet.
Ruggie huffed and rested his chin in his hand. “Hey, don’t save the food, I won’t get any if you do,” he whined.
Fox-eared person – Enma was pretty sure their name was Foxy, which Kuroki found absolutely hilarious for some reason, Enma just thought it was kind of unfortunate – simply smirked in a way that suggested that they might have known this.
Their smile dropped when Kuroki gave them a tiny pat on the head. And then blinked, smiling awkwardly. “Sorry, force of habit.”
Enma and Ito glanced at each other, wide grins threatening to make their way across their faces. While they were sure that at least the first head pat, which had happened when Ruggie had agreed to hold something for him two days ago, was an accident, because Kuroki’s embarrassment had been far too genuine to be fake… they suspected that all of the ones after that were just to see if he could get away with it.
The answer was a resounding Yes, but…
“No problem, Chihuahua,” Foxy said.
Kuroki bristled, his face flushing an angry shade of red. Enma got the feeling he would start cursing and yelling if that wouldn’t just get labeled as ‘yapping’ and prove their point.
Enma grinned and pinched his cheek. “Awwww, if only you were actually as cute as a Chihuahua.”
Kuroki batted his hands away, scowling. He looked at Ito for help. Ito seemed too amused by the whole situation to bother.
So, it was Grim who came to his aide: “How dare you suggest one of my henchmen would be a dog?”
Foxy’s friend, Lucius, a guy who was overall pretty normal looking save for an extraordinarily long neck and a strange hair texture (said hair was white, but that was hardly surprising anymore), seemed more than a little amused. “You think they act like cats?”
Enma figured that the answer was yes. The three Yuus were certainly sly in their own ways, which was considered a more ‘cat-like’ trait. But, then again… Ito was loyal to a fault. Kuroki epitomized a tiny dog puffing up and getting into fights because he can’t risk being seen as weak. Enma knew that people always perceived him as a ‘himbo’ and therefore having ‘golden retriever energy’ before they talked to him and actually learned what he was like… so, he was very interested in seeing what Grim would say.
“No, they’re not cats. They’re henchmen,” Grim said huffily.
Ah. Okay. So, Grim isn’t at the stage where he can understand abstract things yet (and may never get there, honestly). That… actually explained a lot, now that he thought about it.
“Burning,” Lucius almost sang.
Enma shrieked and spun around to save his shrimp. It was too late, though. He had been on borrowed time beforehand, and now he was left to hang his head as he walked over to the table of shame, blackened shrimp (and not the good kind) in hand.
At least Ruggie was happy. Enma watched as Ruggie cut away the burnt parts so he could eat what was left, entirely cheerful. He even thanked him.
Which was, frankly, the weirdest thing about the whole situation. As of late, Ruggie had been – well, not nice, Enma was pretty sure that Ruggie was incapable of that, but certainly nicer.
He wasn’t sure whether this meant that Savanaclaw’s plan had succeeded… or whether Ruggie had simply decided that the Yuus had enough on their plate without his bullshit after Crowley had outed them as basically homeless.
Seeing as he had yet to hear anything about the infamous Malleus Draconia getting hurt, he assumed it had to be the second one. Which he had… complicated feelings about. On the one hand, he was about to believe in at least one god because holy shit they heard his prayers thank you! On the other hand, he did not particularly love being pitied. But, he supposed, he could put up with it until they were out of the dorm.
It was easier to ignore it when Kuroki started setting down helpings of Shrimp Scampi pasta for everyone in their little group, save for Foxy and Lucius, since they hadn’t known that they would show up until after they’d started cooking.
“Aw, you’re not going to give us any?” Lucius fake-pouted.
“Make your own damn food,” Kuroki grumbled. He was not going to be forgetting the Chihuahua comment anytime soon.
“We have a big game coming up, you know,” Foxy teased, their eyes gleaming. “We need our nutrients.”
Ito sighed, looking down at their plate longingly for a second before going back to the stove. “I can make you something really quick.”
Kuroki looked offended that they would dare to go against him.
They were too busy fishing out another pan to really notice his expression.
So, Kuroki tugged at their arm insistently to get them to see it.
Ito sighed and briefly turned their head to press a kiss to the bridge of his nose. Kuroki short-circuited long enough for them to turn on the burner and start gathering the leftover ingredients to make a quick stir fry. And then he started to splutter out the beginnings of a protest, but Ito was quick to hush him. “They’re going up against Malleus Draconia, they’re going to need all the advantages they can get if they want to take him out in a fair fight.”
Lucius’s mood immediately soured upon the reminder.
“There is no fair fight with Draconia. He’s one of the top mages in the world, there’s no beating him.”
Ito hummed. “I think Kuroki mentioned something like that.”
“It was mentioned in the Dorm Head meeting, yeah. They were gonna induct him into the Hall of Fame early so he couldn’t play anymore, but Kingscholar-senpai convinced pretty much everyone to vote against it.”
“Well, of course Leona-san would oppose someone being disqualified for being too good,” Lucius scoffed. “He’s better than that.”
“He’s not better than cheating, though,” Grim snarked.
Foxy’s eyes narrowed. Enma, silently, hoped it was solely due to annoyance, and that they hadn’t yet realized what their true goal was. The Yuus were being a little more obvious about their not-quite-an-interrogation than they would typically prefer but, in their defense, they really couldn’t afford to wait that much longer. The Magift Tournament was fast approaching. They needed results now.
Thankfully, regardless of whether or not they were catching on to Ramshackle’s true goal, Foxy still ended up explaining that, “It’s not technically cheating. There’s nothing in the rules that says you can’t sabotage your opponents.”
“I feel like that’s kind of an unspoken rule,” Enma snickered.
Lucius took a controversial yet firm stance against possible character growth: “Well, it should have been spoken, then.”
“The only thing you can claim is wrong about what we’re doing is that we’re injuring people, and you can absolutely injure people during a Magift game,” Ruggie said, entirely matter-of-fact.
Kuroki frowned. “It’s still a little backhanded, though…”
“You literally let yourself get your shit kicked in so your friends would beat up a bunch of our dormmates,” Foxy reminded him.
Kuroki was silent for a long, long moment. Then, he twirled the knife in his hand, scowling.
Ito gave a long-suffering sigh, catching him by the sleeve before he could actually follow through on his obvious threat. “Kuroki, come on, it’s too early to be pointing your knife at – wait, why do you even have a knife on you? You finished chopping ingredients ages ago. Give me that and go sit down.”
And, so, Kuroki joined Enma at the table of shame.
At least he got to eat before Grim and Ruggie managed to steal everything.
Ito, it seemed, would not be so lucky.
But it also seemed like dinner was not their main concern at the moment, because they spoke again: “I just… don’t get why you guys care this much about the tournament.”
Lucius rolled his eyes. “Because some of us want to do this as a career. And it’s kind of hard to get the recruiters to want us on their team when we keep getting our asses handed to us during the first fucking round.”
The Yuus winced. Right. That… they had forgotten about that. Enma almost started to pity them, until he remembered that all of the victims so far hadn’t been Draconia at all. He could understand the idea of a ‘trial run’, but they had gone after far too many people for Enma to believe that that was all this was.
No, at this point, it was clear they were injuring people for the fun of it.
“Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean it’s okay to lash out and hurt others,” sighed Enma, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Hypocrite,” Ito teased, nothing but fond. They plated up the last two meals and handed them off to Foxy and Lucius, before taking a seat. They saw their empty plate and sent Grim a mildly exasperated look. “You’re not slick, you know.”
“Seems like all of you Ramshackle people have that in common,” a new voice cut in.
Leona leaned in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his tail swishing languidly from side to side.
Ito smiled innocently. “What ever do you mean, senpai?”
Leona raised an eyebrow at them. “You know, I remember that conversation you and – ah, what was that herbivore’s name – Trey had in the library.”
Ito’s smile faded into a faint, confused frown. “What conversation?”
Leona snorted, and then turned his attention back to the room at large. “To answer your real question… when the system is designed for you to lose, the only way to win is to be underhanded.”
He said this with an air of finality. As if he thought his argument was perfect, as if there was no other solution, as if he thought that this would be the thing that finally convinced them to leave him and his cronies alone.
Which is why it completely blindsided him when Enma said, “Okay, but if the system is inherently unfair and designed to keep people down, why not change it?”
“... what?”
Enma shrugged. “I mean, you can take out Malleus Draconia-senpai, if you want, but that doesn’t really solve the problem, does it? I mean, in a few years, if some other bigshot magic-user comes to school then this all might happen all over again.”
“Not our problem,” said Leona, and Lucius nodded along stubbornly, but Foxy and Ruggie seemed less sure.
“Okay, fine, what about next year?” Ito said, raising an eyebrow. “If Draconia-senpai performs poorly this year because of – whatever you’re gonna do – then he’ll be on guard, and there’s no way you’ll get to pull the same shit twice.”
“It’s not about winning, it’s about proving a point.”
Kuroki scoffed. “I’m sure it is, but why make this particular point in this particular way? Like, you’re a Housewarden. Your job is, supposedly, to better the lives of your dorm members. Criminal activity is not that, and you can advocate for change during the meetings, so use what power you do have and say something.”
“You obviously can’t do anything this year, it’s way too late to change things, but if you suggest some changes right after the Tournament and act like you just came up with it then…” Ito added, frowning.
“What do you three suggest then?” Foxy said, not quite mocking anymore. They seemed genuinely curious.
(“Four,” corrected Grim. He got a brief scratch behind the ears from Kuroki for his troubles.)
The Yuus looked at each other.
“A losers bracket,” Kuroki said shortly, doing sarcastic little jazz hands to make it clear just how obvious he thought this solution was.
But it wasn’t obvious enough, because the Savanaclaw students just looked confused.
It was left to Enma to actually explain it: “Think of it as a… redemption round. Instead of getting eliminated once and then being out for the year, you have to be eliminated twice. So, when there are overpowered teams like Draconia’s, people who go up against them get to prove their worth with someone more likely to be on their level. So, say you lose to Draconia next year, and – uh – Octavinelle loses to Scarabia or something, then you would go up against Octavinelle. If you win that one, then you’d move on to another game.”
“Convincing the Headmaster would be easy, too,” Ito added. “Most of the money earned from things like this is through concessions, not actual tickets, and if people have the incentive to stay longer, they’ll buy more.”
“Besides,” added Enma. “People don’t want a game where they know ahead of time who is going to win. That’s just boring. If things are more fair, then more people will come.”
“Therefore, more people will spend,” said Kuroki.
Their spiel over, they all lapsed into silence. And what a long silence it was, with the four yajugen staring at the Ramshackle students in open-mouthed shock.
“You’ve thought a lot about this,” Lucius said, eventually, sounding faint.
“It’s our job,” Kuroki shrugged.
“Well, my job, they’re just along for the ride,” Ito said, smiling wryly.
“Our job,” said Enma, his lips twitching.
“Well, actually,” Kuroki said, resting his hands on his hips and smiling in a way that screamed he was about to be so annoying. “Ashengrotto-senpai is the one who runs concessions – he gives the Headmaster a huge cut, but he’s still the one that actually does the work – so it’s my job, too, to make sure this goes well. Looks like Enma is the only one that’s left out.”
“What about Grim?” Enma pointed out.
“Grim has special privileges,” Kuroki waved him off. “Just you. Everyone point and laugh at the guy with a less exploitative boss.”
Enma pouted.
Leona rubbed his temples like he was getting a migraine. Either from their antics or the realization that all of his planning and careful work could have been avoided if the Ramshackle students had just said something sooner. “Why now?”
“You never asked before,” Enma said simply.
Leona ground his teeth together so hard Enma swore he could hear them breaking.
And then Ruggie grinned, hopping to his feet, clapping his hands together with so much energy it was almost infectious. “Hey, you guys have a point! I mean, this year is kinda screwed, but next year… well, I guess we’ll just have to wait until then to redeem ourselves!”
~
“One thaumark says they’re bullshitting,” Kuroki said, glancing behind them to make sure that no one followed them out of the mirror.
“I’ll be the angel and pretend to believe in them,” Ito said. Which all but confirmed that they definitely lost bets on purpose just to make them smile.
Kuroki, who had yet to notice this, pumped his fist in the air victoriously. “Yessssss.”
“One thaumark isn’t much, anyway.”
“Free money is free money.”
As if they didn’t share all of their money anyway.
Enma hummed, pretending not to see the surface of the Savanaclaw mirror rippling as someone started to poke their head out. He laced his hands together behind his head so he wouldn’t be tempted to turn and look at Ruggie directly. They were banking on him using the opportunity to try and take out one last person, because it’d make things way harder if he followed them to their meeting spot.
Ito must have noticed, too, because they gripped their Coke bottle tighter in discomfort. “Which room did you say you left your notebook again?”
Enma sighed. “Magic Analysis. I think it’s… 682.”
Ito and Kuroki both groaned at the idea of walking up six flights of stairs.
“Remind me why we came with you,” Kuroki grumbled. “I could be sleeping – I mean… keeping watch with Grim.”
“Because you love me?”
They didn’t even bother to deign that with a response.
“Because I’ll carry you up the stairs if you complain enough.”
“Oh, right,” said Kuroki.
Enma rolled his eyes.
The walk up was mostly quiet, save for snippets of conversations that none of them were really paying attention to, because they were too busy checking to make sure that they weren’t being followed.
They didn’t untense until they reached room 682. Crowley stood outside of it in sleepwear (which was an image Enma was never going to get out of his head, unfortunately, the guy wore a nightgown). When he saw them, he lit up, displaying far too much energy for someone awake at this time of night.
“You called?” he asked, smiling brightly. Literally. Stupid lights in his eyes.
None of them said a word in answer.
“... right,” he said, almost pouting. But he was quick to get over it. He procured a, frankly, ungodly-large keyring and started flipping through them until they found one neatly marked with a piece of tape with sharpie on it declaring the room number – in Ito’s handwriting, of course, Crowley wasn’t that competent.
He unlocked the door and the four of them made their way inside.
Crowley was quick to lock it again behind them.
Enma retrieved his notebook, and then walked over to Jack’s unassigned but totally assigned seat. After crouching beside his chair, he noticed something stuck to the bottom of the desk. It was a small vial filled with… some sort of liquid, stuck to the table with a piece of gum.
Gross.
But effective, he supposed.
He rubbed the vial against the table until the gum fell off, and then turned to the others.
“Got it.”
His friends broke into wide grins.
Crowley hummed thoughtfully as he took the vial into gloved hands, spinning it around carefully. There were only a few drops in it, Jack hadn’t wanted to tip off Ruggie and Leona to the fact that they had a mole (and, seeing as the Yuus had gone to the trouble to keep Leona and Ruggie out of their rooms for an extended period of time, they weren’t too fond of them finding out, either, if only because that would make their efforts a waste of time), so he had just grabbed a sample.
Hopefully, this would be enough to identify what it was.
And, even more, that this would be enough to incriminate the Savanaclaw dorm.
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like fate was on their side. “We should head up to the roof, in case there are any stragglers.”
“There’s a door to the roof?” Ito asked. “Why don’t I know about it?”
“Because it doesn’t exist.”
Crowley opened a window.
“Oh hell no,” Ito said.
This did not change anything. Within the wink of an eye, they had been abducted.
Enma and Kuroki ran for the door.
Locked. Right.
Kuroki was grabbed next. He was carried out into the night by an overlarge bird, kicking and screaming as he went.
Not a good sign.
Enma was so revoking his momentary belief in god(s). Fuck this noise.
He picked up the nearest chair and tried to throw it at the door, but they bounced off of each other harmlessly.
A hand locked around his arm.
Lots of flailing later, he was on the roof beside Kuroki and Ito. Ito was hugging a chimney for support – emotional support, the roof was surprisingly flat where they were so it wasn’t as if they were in danger of sliding off. Kuroki’s hair and clothes looked even more rumpled than usual. Enma was sure that, had he been able to see himself, he would look just as terrible, but he could already see himself falling to his hands and knees and knew he was trying not to throw up, so frankly a mirror would not be appreciated.
Unless they could take it home. Having a functioning mirror would be nice, actually.
He was not provided with one. Only some time to catch his breath, as Crowley examined the vial closer under the moonlight.
“Why?” Ito asked, sounding like they were going to cry.
Crowley, briefly, looked apologetic, but then he cleared his throat. “Matters such as these should be held in private, where others cannot eavesdrop.”
Kuroki groaned.
“So, what is it, Headmaster?” Enma asked once he was sure he wouldn’t vomit the second he opened his mouth. He, carefully, pushed himself up onto unsteady feet and made his way over.
“Hmmmm,” said Crowley. And then he pulled the stopper and poured it into his mouth.
Ito shrieked and rushed over, emotional support chimney be damned, to check on him. “That could have been poison!”
But the Headmaster had put his favorite strategy into action by ignoring their very good point. He smiled. His eyes gleamed even brighter than normal, rivaling the glow of stars above their heads. “As I thought. It’s a mana potion. I do wonder how they got their hands on it…”
A mana potion?
Enma, Ito, and Kuroki exchanged nervous glances. If it was a mana potion, then…
What?
“What would they use that for?” Enma asked.
Crowley could merely shrug. “There are many possibilities, and I haven’t spent nearly as much time with them as you three have over the past few days. I am willing to trust your judgment on this.”
Well, he supposed a direct answer had been too much to hope for, anyway.
Ito paced back and forth for a minute, a small scowl playing across their lips as they thought. “They said all of this is a ‘warm-up’ for the real thing. So, they’re definitely going to use Ruggie’s power somehow…”
What would that help, though? What could it be used for? How could it endanger Malleus Draconia?
“Maybe Draconia-senpai is really resistant to magic?” Enma offered, but the idea was stupid even to his own ears. There was no way it was that simple.
But this clue was so vague.
Kuroki crossed his arms over his chest. “There’s spite involved, so whatever it is is probably embarrassing, right? How could they make a fool out of him and win at the same…? Time…?” His eyes lit up. “What if he’s going to make the entire Diasomnia team stand still for the entire match?”
It was a wild guess, but it made sense, didn’t it? It would be endlessly frustrating, being forced to watch, unable to do anything as the other team scored over and over again. Being beaten by one person with overpowered magic on live TV. It would be the perfect revenge.
Ito snapped their fingers. “That also explains why they’re taking out people from other dorms, too. Ruggie-senpai will probably be too drained after the first match to play again, so they’ll have to use an understudy. It evens things out if the other teams don’t have their star players, either.”
This could be it.
But, as they all were floated back down to the ground with wind magic, Enma couldn’t shake the feeling that they were wrong.
That he was forgetting something.
But, if he had forgotten it, it couldn’t be that important, could it?
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colemonroe · 11 months ago
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“Suit yourself,” Cole obliged, shoulders shrugging, not that he really wanted to get into it with her anyway. Breaking the mold to him meant achieving something practically unattainable– it meant law enforcement would actually have to acknowledge that their shit did stink just like everyone else’s instead of walking around with this holier than thou sense of self-righteousness. Cole didn’t bother explaining that to Ruby because he certainly didn’t think she’d be the one to do it. He could sense her disdain, or whatever it was that she regarded him with, and he didn’t see that ever changing– certainly not if she was so hellbent on immediately looking at them any time a feather in Tonopah Valley got ruffled. 
“Not profilin’ my guys, for one,” he retorted when it came to better options. He didn’t give a shit about her game of elimination– the Sons were composed of good people, and whether or not her badge allowed her to see that didn’t change how true it was. “Troublemakers?” Cole snorted, a smirk forming on his lips as he shrugged his shoulders, “I’m just a Harley enthusiast.” Cole knew she didn’t have shit to prove otherwise and his wide smirk said as much. The badges in town just had a hunch about the MC– and convictions weren’t ever made on just a fucking hunch. They needed cold, hard proof that the club was involved in illegal activity and so far? They didn’t have it.  “And I told ya we’d fix it,” he reiterated, not really wanting to mix his professional business up in whatever this bullshit chat was. Regardless of how she felt about the club or what sniffing around she was hoping to do here, it didn’t change the way Reaper Crew worked– she’d get whatever maintenance was needed and it’d be top notch. Raising a brow, he folded his arms across his chest as she spoke of slip ups and suggested some sort of questioning. It sounded like a warning, or a threat of some kind, and Cole had never responded well to either. Something akin to a slow burning anger ticked at the back of his jaw, “Ya done? ‘Cause there’s a lobby ya can wait in ‘til your car’s ready.” It was his way of telling her that even if she wasn’t done, he was. Turning on his heel, he started to walk away– he was running a business here, he didn’t have time for a pissing contest with the ATF when there were dozens of appointments stacked on top of each other and she didn't actually have shit to threaten him with. Though, he did pause, just for a moment, “Y’know…that sounded a little bit like a threat to me, agent,” he pointed out, wanting her to know that was how he’d read her words and how slow he’d be to forget them, “Word of advice? People don't react too well to those ‘round here– ya’d do well to remember that.”
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A broken record, really. A copy paste machine throughout all of Nevada when it came to the different clubs. Not that she could fault him entirely, because she didn't trust it for shit - Ruby was a shining example of all that. But still, being there, having to listen and question everything, while pretending to care and be hurt, was exhausting most of the times. "I don't even want to know what's breaking the mold for you." She smiled, shaking her head. There were too many possibilities, but usually it all rounded up to sacrifice. People only portrayed a bit of respect after one or the other died in some tragic accident. Now, where was fairness in that? "To each their own, Monroe." Her hands went up in defence. If Silas came sniffing, it wasn't going to be her fault in any case.
"Do you have any better options? We have to play the game of elimination - see how the crime was committed and all. The homeless don't have the strategy, the civilians don't have enough money... We always check out the tech wiz and the dark web, but really... That's more towards one big hit. So, it leaves us the few trouble makers to start with." Her shoulders shrugged as she walked closer and picked one of the tools. "Let's not lie to each other at least, hun." She grinned, putting it back.
"I think you will see that my car is fucked." It really was, and it wasn't as if anyone paid her enough to drive something new and shiny. Besides, warrant was their favourite word, it wasn't like she was going to get anything in the first place, but at least she could get the feel of the place.... Maybe some pictures? "It's alright, I just wanted to have my car checked out and a chat don't hurt. But you know, there are always slip ups. Maybe not by you, but who knows, maybe soon enough I will be chatting with one of you in a setting of my choice."
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harryskalechips · 4 years ago
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one and done
A/N Hi everyone! I’m back with a one shot :) I know I don’t write as often anymore but since I’m self quarantining and I’m just about finish with high school, I thought I should try and give it another go? I’m also re starting up my jewellery business so ahhh many goals in mind but no motivation ??? Okay, I hope you guys enjoy this one!!! It is definitely a slow burn with smut but part 2? I dunno!!
Y/N and her brother’s best friend Harry, has had some pent up sexual frustration for a while. Wouldn’t it be best if they just had a one and done? you know to get it out of their system ;) 
*smut includes spanking, choking, male and female receives oral, harry dom but Y/N rides, magic face cream treatment for anti wrinkling results? Yes, and what else? sub space, hair pulling, gosh I forgot please read it 😁
Word Count: 6.1k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST
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“Don’t you think it's a bit of a cliché to be crushing on your brother’s best friend?” Ness teases Y/N as they walk out of her house. They were just on the steps about to go on a walk around the block. It was definitely one of their favourite things to do as the sun was just about to set.
Y/N had her butt sat on the spruced wooden steps as she ignored her best friend’s comment. First off, she knew it was a cliché. Secondly, her last encounter with him just seconds ago was already making her plan her own execution.
In her head, it was simply her just jumping out of her window multiple times until she lost consciousness. Ness on the other hand was standing up, watching the poor girl tie her laces. “Okay, I was just teasing. We can change the topic.” She lends her hand out for Y/N to take.
“It’s not just that Ness.” She gladly accepts the gesture and stands up. She wipes off her butt and glances back at the door. “I’ve never had a thing for him! Ryan and Harry have been best mates since what? 8th grade and for some reason ever since the cruise from last summer, I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“It’s because he was shirtless half of the time.” Ness laughs as she hands Y/N’s water bottle to her. “Okay, we can admit it though. As a senior he is 10 times more attractive than he ever was. He looks like a frat boy that could jump my bones.”  Y/N stops walking and just stares at Ness while the girl continues to walk. She grabs her hand and pulls her forward. “Okay, I’m sorry for the bad comment.”
“He is hot though. Really hot.” Y/N smiles.
“See, that’s why you should sleep with him.”
“What are you crazy? Ness, Ryan would kill me or him -maybe the both of us!” 
“It’s pent up sexual frustration. Harry legit watched us walk out your door while eating a banana and you still managed to trip on your shoes.” She laughs.
“He was making eye contact with me!”
“All I’m saying is that he throws parties at his house and always invites us despite y’know us being juniors. Just offer, do it, slip out, and never say anything about it ever again.” Ness elbows Y/N as she crosses her arms. 
“Maybe I will.” She laughs pretending to actually sound confident in the idea.
“Good, there’s a party this Friday anyway.” Ness shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the best remedy sis.”
~
“Harry, can we talk?” Y/N follows him into the kitchen while everyone else is God knows where around the house. 
“Ryan is in the backyard, trying to get Cassidy back.” He barely glances at her as he pours himself a drink. He notices an empty one in her hand so he decides to pour coke in hers. 
“I um wasn’t really drinking coke.” She states confusedly as she watches the bubbles in her cup dissolve.
“You think I’m trying to get you drunk at this party. One alcoholic beverage is good enough for yeh.” He smiles at her as he screws the cap shut and taps the top of her head. He was treating her as if she was a child, which definitely pissed her off since she was going to ask him a really fucked up favour in the matter of 60 seconds.
“I can handle myself, you know.” 
“Yup.” He rests his back against the counter and bites the rim of the plastic cup as he looks at her. “What do you need though?” He genuinely asks her. Although they weren’t that close, Harry knew her long enough to know she wouldn’t start random a conversation with him. It was more like a hi and bye situation. Not her trying to actually talk to him. 
“I have a favour and you can’t tell Ryan.” Y/N lets out a big breath as she watches his reaction change into a confused one. 
“Look Y/N, if you want to try and smoke a blunt, I think it’s best you find yourself a dealer that doesn’t know your brother.”
“No, not that.” She whispers as she moves in closer. There were more people entering the kitchen and this was about to get really fucking awkward. 
“What?” He looks at her and notices her body shifting closer to him. Her chest was touching the side of his arm, making his eyes look towards the cabinets instead.
“I-”
“Yes?”
“Do you wanna fu-?” His eyes widen as he downs the rest of his drink in one go. Harry doesn’t even let her continue as he steps away from Ryan’s little sister. 
“I’m sorry do I already know the rest of that question?” He tries not to obviously choke on the liquid in his mouth.
“Well, I don’t know you didn’t really let me finish.”  Her sassy tone comes out. Her cheeks were really red and although Y/N came to the party with Ness feeling really confident in the dress she picked. She just wanted to go home and not show her face to him ever again. This was the stupidest idea! Why on earth did she think Harry would want to sleep with her when there are so many girls that try to get his attention. 
“I’m sorry Y/N.” He bites the inside of his cheek and watches some familiar people leave the room. Once it’s clear again, he speaks up. “Like are you serious?” He could feel his throat becoming more stuffy. “You and me?” She nods. “Really?” She nods again. “That’s crossing the line and Ryan is pretty overprotective. I can’t do that to him.”
“Cool.” Y/N stands perfectly still as she tries her best to maintain eye contact with him. She takes a sip of the coke but later, grabs the bottle of alcohol and pours it into her cup regardless of him watching her. “Well, don’t let Ryan know.” She shrugs her shoulders and laughs. “Thanks for answering my survey!” She gives him an awkward smile then walks out of the room. How can a guy pass up on her??? First rejection has gotta sting. 
This wasn’t some weird guy she was asking though. This was Harry, Ryan’s best friend. If Ness was put in his position, she wouldn’t want her to say yes either. God, she was also going to kill her best friend for putting the most ridiculous game plan in her head.
And although the party continued on, Ness and Y/N didn’t let the earlier events bother them. The two spent hours just fucking around until they found a comfy spot in the living room.
“Y/N, don’t look.” Ness sits beside her on Harry’s couch watching a few strangers play an unfamiliar game on the floor. 
“What?” she quickly looks up to see what Ness is talking about. It wasn’t a surprise to see Harry holding Carla Laws’s hand as they walked up the stairs. They looked pretty excited for a room tour too.
Oh hell no, everyone knows a girl doesn’t go to Harry Styles’ room to just hold hands and a cute sentimental room tour!
“Are you sure he didn’t want to with you?”
“Yes Nessa.” She rolls her eyes and drinks her third cup. “Whatever, if anything at least I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. I found a new ick. He doesn’t even find me attractive.”
“Good. Rejection may hurt but it makes you wake up and face reality.” 
~
Okay if there was one thing Y/N could say now, it was that she is finally over Harry. Overall, he was nothing but a phase. Yes, she was crushing on him for the first semester of the year but after that weird conversation they had, it made sense why they couldn’t work out anyway. He’s a stuck up douche - a typical senior, all while she was a junior who was either too infatuated with him or too horny. Maybe both?
It’s been about two weeks and although Ness made sure to keep trash talking the guy, Y/N knew there was more to him than what her best friend thought. She knew him for years! Maybe the fact he was athletic, charismatic and just kind that made her realize what a perfect guy he was. She knew he was a bit more complex than what other people thought of him and it wasn’t bad at all. 
What she never thought was how awkward it was going to be the next time she saw him. “Hey, Haz.” Ryan opens the door for his buddy as Y/N covers herself with the blanket more all while pretending to watch TV.
For the past couple of days, Ryan was going over to his house and maybe Harry asked him too to come over, but what she didn’t expect was to see him again so soon. 
“Hey Ryan.” Harry takes his jacket and boots off as it just begun to snow outside. “Hey Y/N.” She quickly glances at him and waves. 
“Let’s go to the kitchen first, I wanna get snacks.” Ryan suggests as he walks away, assuming Harry would follow him like usual. 
After thirty minutes, Y/N thought the boys would be upstairs but as she entered the kitchen wearing nothing but her shorts and her brother’s old t-shirt, she was surprised to see Harry and Ryan eating sandwiches at the breakfast bar, looking pretty serious. Did Harry tell him? 
As she walked closer, she noticed both boys were just on their phones, scrolling through different social media platforms. She quickly brushes past them to put her dish in the sink. Ryan seemed unbothered but she could definitely feel Harry’s eyes on her. Once she makes eye contact with him, he quickly takes a sip of his juice and looks at his phone once more. “Y/N can you grab the chips in the cabinet please?” Ryan looks up at his phone and notices his sister was standing right in front of the cupboard. 
“Yeah, no problem.” She turns her back on them and opens the cabinet. She goes on her tiptoes reaching for the only bag of chips. Once she grabs them, she puts them on the counter and walks out of the room, only hearing her brother murmur a thank you. 
It was about 6:30 PM and the parents weren’t home yet. Ryan and Harry decided to chill in the living room when the doorbell rang. Pausing the game, Ryan opened the door to see Tom standing in front of him. “Y/N it’s for you!” He calls out for his sister since he knew Tom was her friend.
“Who’s that?” Harry mouthed.
“Her boyfriend.” Ryan shrugs as he unpauses the game. 
“Tom? What are you doing here?” Y/N walks down the stairs, pulling her shirt down. 
“Vanessa told me to come by. Apparently you need help with the calculus homework? I’m free tonight anyway.” He smiles and gives her a hug. Tom was a really good friend of Ness and Y/N. He was a smart boy that was really kind and obviously had a big crush on Nessa. There was anything he could do for her. 
Y/N instantly bit her cheek and laughed as she remembered Ness’ text message a couple of hours ago when she told her Harry came by. This was definitely one of Ness’ master plans. “You’re so sweet.” She pulls away and laughs. “We can go upstairs, I have a few questions to ask.” She quickly glances at her brother who doesn’t care all while Harry tried his best to maintain his eyes on the screen. 
“Y/N, Put some shorts on!”  Ryan finally yells out as the two went up the stairs. 
“I don’t get why he throws parties every weekend.” Ness takes a sip of her drink as they sit inside Harry's dining room. They probably weren’t going to stay too long. Everyone was inside due to the cold weather with the occasional smokers outside. Being the only few juniors, there wasn’t much the girls could do other than loiter around, drink a few cups and play the games they knew so well. Y/N wasn’t the type to have random hook ups but you know her exception with Harry. 
“Gemma has gone off for college and Anne is always working really late shifts at the hospital. He’s pretty much anywhere and everywhere besides his house unless it’s a party.”
“True.” 
“I’m going to say bye to my brother then we can head back to mine if you want?” Y/N offers as Nessa nods and downs her drink. 
“I’m going to drink a cup of water. Meet you at the front?”
“Mhm.” They both stand up and leave the room. Nessa was heading straight to the kitchen while Y/N began to wander around the house. 
“Y/N.” Harry calls out her name over the music. He was wearing a while long sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned. It made him look really attractive which almost made Y/N lose her breath. 
“Hey Harry, You know where Ryan is?” The only typical thing she would ever ask him before that one time. (Pretending as if she didn’t sexually harass him last time.) 
“He’s downstairs with the rest of the boys.” He glances around at everyone and looks at her once more. “I’m sorry, are you um- leaving?”
“Yeah me and Nessa are going to call it a night.” She wraps her hoodie around her figure and tries to make her way to the stairs. 
“Want me to give you girls a ride?”
“No no, it’s okay!” She smiles and waves her hand at him. “Nessa drove. You also have a party to h-”
“It’s kind of late maybe she should head home and we can-” And that’s when it hit her. Was Harry Styles trying to isolate her? 
“Oh.” She widens her eyes and slowly nods. “Okay. I’ll let my brother and Ness know. Should I meet you in your car outside?”
“Yeah.” He runs his hand through his hair and quickly leaves her side. After bidding her farewell to Ryan and explaining her interpretation of Harry to Ness, she was  quietly leaving the house as she watched Nessa walk by herself to the car down the street. What surprised Y/N more was to see him in his brown jacket standing by the passenger door. 
“Did you tell Ryan I was dropping you off?” He  nervously smiles as he opens the door for her. He makes sure no one is watching them leave together as he feels the butterflies forming in his stomach. 
“No.” She puts her hood on and sits in his car. She was picking on her stockings trying to avoid the awkward tension between them. Once Harry sat inside and they both put their seatbelts on, they were on their way to her house. It was weird knowing she was actually leaving a party with her brother’s best friend so she could suck his- 
 “What happens if they notice you’re gone?”
“Um, I’m sure they’ll think i'm elsewhere doing stuff.” She knew what he was thinking about and that made her a bit uncomfortable but it didn’t change the fact it was true.
“Are you still down to y’know?” Harry honestly never thought he would be this nervous talking to Ryan’s little sister. 
“Yeah.” She bites her lip as they glance at each other. 
“Cool. Are you like a virgin or something. I mean is there anything that I should know about?”
“No.” She shakes her head and low-key observes how he drives. 
This was going to be one hell of a night. 
Harry has seen Y/N’s room a countless number of times but to actually be with her by themselves in Ryan’s house made him feel really guilty. That guilt however, was shoved in the back of his throat. The girl in the room with his was obviously the best distraction. “I like your room.” he smirks at her as he looks at her soccer trophy collection from grade school. 
“Thanks.” She laughs lightly as she takes off her jacket. She quickly texts an update to Ness before putting the phone on do not disturb. 
“So before we start, what made you ask the offer?” He takes his jacket off and throws it on her chair. He sits on her bed and glances at the time. It was still early, so people probably weren’t going to be looking for him. 
“This is going to sound really dumb but I’ve had this crush on you since the cruise last summer. Well, you know Nessa... she had this thought and she thinks it is just pent up sexual frustration?” She shakes her head of saying the whole idea out loud. “So I thought maybe I should just get it out of my system.” Harry laughs as he takes in of what she just said. it made her smile as well.
“You were checking me out all summer?” He asks her in disbelief. “Little Y/N wanted to jump my bones?” He started to smirk at her. Although they didn’t know each other too well, the awkward tension was gone with just one simple laugh of his. 
“Stop laughing.” She throws a pillow at him. “I didn’t think you would say no.”
“I didn’t want to say no Y/N are you crazy? I’m laughing because I kept checking you out in those tiny bikinis you used to wear.” He throws the pillow to the side and shakes his head. “I don’t want to cross Ryan like that but I think i need to get you out of my system too.”
“Mhm and why’s that?” She locks her door and sits on the bed with him. “Because Carla couldn’t distract me from seeing you in my sheets.” He leans in and kisses her. “Tom coming by a few days ago with you wearing nothing but those little shorts was already making me lose my mind.” He whispers and kisses her again. 
Y/N immediately sits on his lap while trying her best to keep his mouth on her’s. Everything about this was so hot. She was about to just rip his clothes off. 
“One and done yeah?” Y/N rubs herself on him as her fingers tangle themselves in his hair. He kisses down her neck while grabbing her ass. 
“One and done. Just to get you out of my system.” He confirms with her as he gently throws her on the bed. He’s pulling his long sleeve off and taking his shirt off but once he begins unbuckling his jeans, he couldn’t help but notice Y/N trying to take her shirt off as well. “Fuck.” He murmurs as he gently unbuttons her long sleeve to help her take it off. In a flash, he’s on his knees unzipping her skirt and taking her stockings off as well. “You looked really pretty tonight by the way.” His cheeks flush as he throws her bottoms behind his back. Y/N laughs quietly and she sits up and brings his face closer to hers. 
“I actually would like to say the same exact thing.” He leans in to kiss her once more. Her lips were extremely soft and forbidden and it was making him slowly lose his mind all over again. Y/N thought Harry was just a phase but that seemed impossible as she was already dreading the fact this was a one and done situation. 
“You’re just so fucking soft and alluring.” He whispers in her ear as he unclasped her bra. “I already know I need to fuck you hard.” Y/N eyes’ roll back as she feels his wet mouth on her nipple as the other one massaged the other. Her hands were trying really hard to focus on the task at hand which was to undo his pants but it was definitely not working with the way he was distracting her. Not a single thought could process in her mind.
“I think since this is a one and done situation, you better make this memorable.” She whispers and bites her lip as she tries to hold back a moan. His fingers were teasing her covered entrance but Harry could feel her drenched spot already clenching at his presence. 
“Memorable? I’ll definitely leave my mark on you.” He sucks on her mouth more roughly than usual as he rubs his fingers on her centre. “You wanted me so bad baby? You just had to beg me huh?” He gestures his hips more forward to help her with his pants. 
“I’m kind of new to this. Be a bit patient.” Y/N laughs as she gently unzips his pants after numerous attempts.  
“You just ruined the moment.” He laughs with her as he kisses her forehead and takes his pants off as well. “Just kidding, this is probably the most fun I had.” He hovers over her again and teases her entrance. 
“What do you mean?” She lays on her back and roams her hands all over his chest. 
“Never got the chance to tease the fuck out of a pretty girl then fuck her hard.” He slaps her clit and bites down on her lip. She suddenly lets out a moan that makes her eyes flutter and her chest rise closer up to his face. 
He brings two of his fingers to her mouth and slowly lets her lick on it before rimming her entrance and shoving it in without any warning. His thumb slowly rubs her swollen numb as he can’t help but rub himself on her sheets as well. “You mind if I get a little bit of a taste? I’ve been dying to know. I saw you earlier at the party and I had to jerk myself off seeing you in those little stockings of yours.” 
“You. You jerked yourself off thinking about me, baby?” She looks down at him and smiles softly. He gives her a little smirk before pulling his hand away and heading his head down a bit south. His tongue dips slowly on the left side of her leg as his hands grip her thighs tightly, sure of the bruises to form soon.
“You’re like a fucking wet dream. How can I say no to you?” He urgently swipes his whole tongue on her centre. “I saw you earlier and had to go to my room.” He takes another lick. “Fuck baby, the best i’ve fucking tasted. Fuck oh fuck.” He precisely observes the way your whole swallows his fingers in and clench so tightly around him. His tongue dipping and switching with his fingers because he honestly can’t decide which is best. 
“Harry, fuck me please baby.” Y/N moans loudly as she harshly grabs on her boobs. She’s never been fucked this good. It was honestly feeling like a dream. With that being said, she’s only had sex a handful of times but Harry seemed like such an expert in the field. “Oh God.” She tries to pull away. She wasn’t sure if she could continue on with Harry obsessively licking and sucking on her wet centre. 
He looks up and watches her eyes roll back as her fingers begin to pull on his head aggressively. His only reflex is to spread her legs wider. After her first orgasm, Y/N lays on her back staring at her ceiling trying to catch her breath. 
“Fuck me.”
“We aren’t done yet, love.” He laughs at her cuteness. He can’t remember the last time where he wasn’t rushing to finish himself off. He was taking his time with Y/N since it’s what she deserves. He lays down beside her and kisses down her chest. “Tell me when you’re ready to go, yeah?” He dips his tongue on her shoulder until it reaches the huge hickey he left on her collarbone. He gently licks around it and sucks on it again. 
He was a bit surprised to see Y/N sit up and grab a condom from her drawer. “Thank you for fucking the shit out of me, I’ll gladly return the favour.” She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear as she focuses on putting the contraceptive on him. Just touching it was already forming butterflies in her stomach. 
“I could’ve been fucking you on that cruise.” he mischievously smiles at her as he watches the way her pretty tits move. 
“You were sharing a room with my brother.” She hisses as she holds onto his shaft trying to gently ease the pain as she fully sits on him. 
“But you were alone.” He grabs onto her waist and helps her. “You’re so beautiful fuck.” He sits up on her headboard as her palms rest on his chest. Both of their eyes couldn’t help but watch the way he was easily penetrating her. 
“Was touching myself because of you.” She mumbles out as her speed begins to increase.
“What did you say baby?” He almost chokes on his breath as he can feel her fully taking him in. 
“Couldn’t stop thinking of you on that cruise. I needed you to rail the fuck out of me.” She moans louder as she starts to feel his hips meet her. 
“Fuck me. So perfect, Shit.” He quickly turns them around and shoves himself back into her. His hand immediately tightens around her neck and once he is about to pull it away, she keeps his hand on her. 
“Fuck me harder.” She cries out as his arm begins to push her legs up. He spits in between their centres before thrusting as hard as he can. All you could hear was her headboard banging against the wall as his hand continuously choked the fuck out of her. 
“I bet you like getting spanked too huh?” He bites his lip and semi turns her body before slapping her ass. 
“Harry fuck.”
“Come on, baby. Be a good girl and come around my cock.”
“Fuck fuck fuck.” Y/N cries out as her fingernails scratch his back. “Come in my mouth. I want to taste you so bad please.” tears begin to form in her eyes as she continues to clench around his dick. Harry immediately pulls off the condom and helps her sit up on her knees. She absolutely could not feel a thing below her stomach but with Harry’s hard cock in her mouth, she was already closing her eyes and trusting him with everything she was. She’s never been this fucking vulnerable, she was literally about to pass the fuck out. 
She was softly holding onto his thighs but her hands found comfort on his waist as he began to fuck her mouth harder. Harry on the other hand, kept his eyes on how her mouth was taking him in. He watched the way his fingers wrap around her hair tightly as he brought his hips closer and closer until he could feel her gagging on his dick. Without a warning, he immediately pulls out and spills all over her face.
“Why’d you do that?” She opens her eyes and pouts. She was pretty upset how she couldn’t taste him spill into her mouth. So her finger immediately takes a swipe of his spill and puts it in her mouth. Without hesitation, she’s taking his forming soft dick in her hands before softly licking it clean and softly sucking on his balls. She takes his shaft and swipes her cheek once more before licking the rest of his spill from his shaft. 
“You’re going to make me hard again if you keep doing that baby. Might not be as nice as I was this time.” 
“Maybe I want another round?” She gestures him to lie down as she continues to kiss and suck on his cock. 
“Thought it was a one and done.” He softly smiles as he removes some of the hair from her face.
“How about a one and done night?”
“Deal.”
And although they thought this was crossing a line, they already knew the moment their lips touched, they wouldn’t be able to stop.
~
“Wait so he changed his mind!” Nessa laughs as they drive back home. “Bitch how are you at school today? I literally saw you limping at lunch.”
“Shut up.” Y/N mouth widens as she rubs her face. “I don’t know what happened okay? We said one and done but we honestly went a couple of rounds before I had to wake him up so he could drive back home.”
“But is he out of your system? Don’t get me wrong Harry’s a fine guy but like dating wise? He’s been with other girls but somehow always goes back to Carla. They’ve been like that before you and Ryan moved here.” 
“Yeah, he’s out of my system.” Y/N laughs but truth be told, some nights when she can’t sleep, she’ll find herself staring at the ceiling. 
“Why are you guys home so early?” Nessa asks once they step inside the house. There was a good comparison between Nessa and Ryan with Y/N and Harry. First off, Nessa literally saw Ryan as her older brother which meant they were pretty vocal towards each other. Secondly, Nessa was very comfortable at Y/N’s house almost as if this was her second home. 
“Carla and Cassidy are coming over.” Ryan smirks as Harry cleans the living room behind him. “During the party last night, I may have asked if they wanted to come over for a double date game night thing. Mom and Dad are cool with it since it's a Monday which is their date night too.
“Oh have fun.” Y/N buds in and laughs. “Make sure to actually vacuum please. You don’t want the girls finding your crumbs on the carpet.” She takes her jacket off as Nessa follows behind her up the stairs. Harry obviously tried to ignore the fact, she bluntly ignored him. 
“Double date? Damn, you guys really did just fuck and brushed it under the carpet.”
“It meant nothing right. So?” Y/N tries to brush off the topic as she sets her backpack down. “Why won’t you sit down?” “On that bed?” Nessa smiles awkwardly as she glances at the double bed near the wall. 
“I changed the sheets.” Y/N takes her shirt off and replaces it with another loose top. She unzips her pants and wears her black tights instead.
“So should we invite ourselves to their double date?” Nessa raises her eyebrows as she lays down on the bed. 
“No because it’s weird and I don’t want Harry to think I’m jealous.”
“I think you are.”
“Nope, I told you I don’t like him like that anymore and he’s out of my system.” She tries to ignore the fact, how she swallowed him without hesitation.
“Okay but wouldn’t it be better to prove to yourself you are just by being around him.” And although Y/N wanted to protest that, the two best friends ended up being invited by Ryan to play downstairs anyway. 
“You girls want a refill?” Ryan sits up from the coffee table as he cleans up the empty red cups. Ness, Carla, and Cassidy wanted a new one which made Y/N go help her brother out in the kitchen. 
“Are you having fun?” Ryan asks as he throws the cups in the recycling. Y/N pours the preferred drinks in the new cups as she looks up at her brother. 
“Yeah, I was wondering why you invited Ness and I. Don’t you think we’re cock-blocking?”
“Harry suggested you guys hang out with us while we played games. More competition is fun y’know. Plus you and Nessa can leave whenever.”
“Oh cool. Thanks, I guess?” 
“Yup.” He grabs two cups as she does. She couldn’t help but notice how Ryan suddenly started cheering. “Yeah, Styles get it! Woooo!” Y/N turns her eyes to notice Harry and Carla making out on the floor by the coffee table. 
“Are you guys dating again?” Cassidy laughs as she tries not to watch them make out.
“Sure.” Carla pulls away and pecks his cheek. Nerissa was just watching Y/N’s reaction and she knew it was a bad one. 
“Y/N could you walk me to the car? Appa just texted me and he’s wondering where I am. I forgot it was his birthday.” Nessa speaks up.
“Oh shit.” Y/N was clueless of her excuse. Which thankfully made her seem more genuinely in a rush to get out of the room. She sets the drinks on the table before going upstairs with Ness.
“How did you forget it was Appa’s birthday, Ness?” 
“I don’t know.” She packs her things up. “Why don’t you come with me? He’s gonna blow his cake soon.”
“Oh, I don’t want-”
“Come.” And if there was one thing Y/N knew well about Nessa, it was that she wouldn’t ever forget it was Appa’s birthday, especially if she just celebrated it a couple of months ago. Without a fight to say no, Y/N immediately grabs a hoodie as they walk down the stairs. 
“Ryan, I’m going to Ness’ to celebrate Appa’s birthday. I’ll be home soon before Mom and Dad comes home.”
“Oh okay.” Ryan waves at his sister as his arms rests on Cassidy’s shoulder. 
“Bye guys!” Ness and Y/N wave as they both exit the house immediately. Harry stays unbothered as he takes another sip of his beer. 
“Thank you for getting me the fuck out of there.” 
“It’s okay. We don’t actually have to leave you know. It’s 6 PM, I can drive the car to a different neighbourhood and you can cry all about him there.”
“I love you.” Y/N begins to tear up. 
“I love you too.”
~
“What’s Tom doing here?” Ryan’s eyes are in shock as he watches his sister hold hands with the familiar boy. What’s confusing is that Y/N went to Ness’ for a birthday. 
“He just wanted to come over.” She smiles innocently as she waves hi to the same party. It was just about 7 PM and the double date duo was watching an unfamiliar movie on TV. Nessa called Tom and Y/N had to explain their situation. Although he didn’t really want to do it. He knew Y/N wanted to prove something to the Harry guy. So as long as they didn’t do anything romantic or weird that would cross his boundaries, Tom was okay with it. 
“Aw, I didn’t know you were dating Thomas?” Cassidy smiles as she walks in with a bowl of popcorn. She hands it to Carla who is cuddling up against Harry on one of the sofas.
“We aren’t dating.” They both look at each other and laugh. Tom shakes his head and pulls Y/N up the stairs instead. 
Once the pair is gone, the dates begin to watch their movie again. “Ryan, you really don’t care if your sister is by herself with that boy?” Carla laughs as she feeds herself and Harry popcorn.
“I’m definitely not going to interfere with that, they’re probably doing the nasty already.” His eyes widen as he stuffs more popcorn down his mouth and although, Harry was keeping his eyes on the screen, there wasn’t anything sitting well with him knowing the girl he was with on the weekend was already in somebody else’s arms. 
The goal was to get each other out of their systems, why the fuck are they so jealous then?
great plan Vanessa. 
Part deux ici 
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sepublic · 3 years ago
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I’m thinking about the idea that Philip tested glyphs on himself. Did that nutjob ever slap a fire glyph on his body and burst into flames??? He doesn’t seem to have any burn scars but we only see his arm, plus healing magic might’ve worked on him until it didn’t.
...But I’m also wondering if Philip actually tested this on others first, before applying it to himself; Because you gotta make ‘sacrifices’ after all, AKA sacrificial guinea pigs, meat shields to protect you from your own experiments. Which lends itself to some HORRIFYING scenarios like what I suggested above; Philip trying out different glyph combos to see which ones can safely harness a person’s body without hurting them.
And once he’s done? Philip probably killed any successful test subjects anyhow, to hide the evidence and keep the knowledge exclusive to himself. If I had to guess, Philip didn’t keep his ‘successful’ subjects around long enough to observe any long-term effects from the glyphs, impatient as he was for power; He immediately applied them to himself, and had to find out through himself what prolonged use entailed.
Which, you reap what you sow, you finally become a guinea pig after subjecting others to that. Philip really thought he could hide from the consequences of his experiments behind others forever... Haha, no. Regardless, he’d still blame wild magic for ‘tricking’ him, hiding its long term consequences so Philip would be duped into thinking these glyphs tattoos really are safe. Which for all we know, maybe this negative reaction is exclusive to Phil, given how the isles in general already rejects him.
That would imply that any test subjects would have made it out fine, which just makes Belos all the more bitter and resentful, jealous of these ‘special’ witches. It doesn’t help that this dude does not recognize where the distinction is between magic’s consequences and the will of the Titan; Which I guess makes sense since magic COMES from the Titan, but people still have plenty of magical agency and thus blame for spells that backfire. Given his Puritan beliefs, it might involve Philip’s idea of predestination he alludes to, and the idea that the will of God surely favors the righteous! But if the Titan doesn’t, then clearly it’s just wrong and Philip knows better than it.
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joonessence · 3 years ago
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The moon // pjm
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⤷part of the In the cards series
pairing: jimin x fem oc
summary: It’s never-ending, what Jimin feels for you is constant and boundless. But you don’t know, you’ve never known, and Jimin thinks that’s okay. Until you find out and think that it’s not.
rating: M (18+)
tags: friends to lovers au, smut in the forms of tit play, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, kinda sub jimin but not for long, very slight possessive jimin (squint to see it), unprotected sex, very slight praise kink, creampie, cum eating, i hate doing the tags y’all i think this is it
wc: 4k
notes: this is part of my tarot cards series so the banner below is the spread for this specific fic, kinda lets you know what to expect
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Jimin can’t help but to watch you from across the room. His eyes follow your movements as you lightly shove Jungkook, teasing him about something Jimin isn’t following, deciding that his attention was better spent looking at you. This isn’t the first time Jimin has lost himself in observing you, in fact, it happens more often than he’d care to admit. At first, Jimin tried to control it, quickly averting his eyes when he realized he was staring just a little too hard. But soon, Jimin found it impossible to look away from you.
See, when Jimin first met you all those years ago, he realized quickly that he’d have trouble getting you off his mind. The way you made his heart beat too fast and his palms get all sweaty were sure signs that he had it bad for you. He figured it would go away soon because it was just a small crush, nothing to worry about. But for Jimin, it never did seem to go away. When he was with you, he just wanted to be closer to you, ensuring he always had the chair beside you to get a front row seat to your radiant smile. When he was away from you, all he did was think about you and your pretty laugh.
Yeah, Jimin’s got it really bad for you.
He thought about confessing to you countless times. Confessing that he ached to be beside you always, that no matter what he did he just couldn’t seem to get you out of his head. God, he wanted to tell you so bad. And he’d get close to it too, pulling you aside, saying he needed to tell you something important. Only, when the time came for him to speak, nothing would come out and he’d find himself scrambling to make something up on the spot.
Although he wishes you knew how he felt about you, Jimin thinks it’s okay that you don’t know. He’s happy to be in your life regardless. Even if he doesn’t get to be the one who takes you out and takes you home and takes your clothes off. God, Jimin wants to take your clothes off.
“Isn’t that right, Jimin?” Your voice directed towards him pulls Jimin out of his thoughts that are quickly turning obscene. “I mean, you know Jungkook pretty well. Wouldn’t you agree?”
You’re looking at him with your eyes wide, waiting for him to agree with you. You’re wearing such a simple outfit but Jimin thinks you look so pretty like this, loose dark green t-shirt half tucked into your jeans and your baby hairs framing your face. Jimin flushes at your prolonged attention on him.
“S-sorry, I wasn’t really listening,” Jimin stammers, partly because he was still unsure of what you were asking him and partly because you just make him nervous.
Jimin’s heart pounds in his chest when you narrow your eyes at him like you’re suspicious of his answer. Just as you open your mouth, Jungkook interrupts, taking your attention off of Jimin. He sighs out a shaky breath. That was a close one, Jimin can’t let you catch him staring like that again.
You and Jungkook continue your playful bickering about God knows what. Jimin doesn’t care enough to start listening, probably wouldn’t even be able to hear the two of you over the sound of his own heart beating so loudly. Sighing, he gets up and steps out onto the balcony for some much needed air.
Hearing his distressed sigh, you and Jungkook’s eyes follow Jimin as he walks away, running his hand through his hair as he goes. You turn to Jungkook with a confused face, silently asking if he knew what was wrong.
“Ah, I don’t know, just ignore him,” Jungkook says, not looking you in the eye.
Jungkook’s a terrible, horrible liar, always has been; you see right through it.
“What is it, Jungkook? Is he upset with me?” You question.
Jungkook scoffs, only making you more confused. You motion for him to continue.
“Jimin likes you,” Jungkook says as if it’s common knowledge and then pauses. “A lot.”
You think your heart stops for a second, before you come to your senses and punch Jungkook in the arm for joking around when you’re not.
“Ow! What was that for?” Jungkook pouts and rubs his arm trying to alleviate the pain.
“Jungkook, seriously. Stop kidding. What’s wrong with him these days?”
“I just told you! He likes you!”
Jimin likes you? Since when? There’s no way, you of all people wouldn’t have figured that out if it was true. But, the thought of it makes your cheeks burn. You always saw Jimin like an angel, something beautiful that you could never be with. It was why you never said anything, figured you’d spare yourself the heartache because nothing but embarrassment would come out of it anyway.
Just then, Jimin walks back in, immediately turning into his and Jungkook’s shared kitchen. You stare at Jungkook with your eyes wide, hoping he might explain more of the details.
“You know what’s wrong now,” Jungkook leans closer to you so Jimin doesn’t hear and whisper-yells. “He’s like head over heels for you, he doesn’t shut up about you!”
“He’s never said anything to me! How can I know for sure?” You whisper-yell back.
“Oh, trust me, you should hear him when he—” Jungkook shuts up when Jimin walks around the corner, headed down the hallway to his room. Jungkook gives you a ‘say something!!’ look and for some reason you listen to him.
“Jimin!” You call out after him, still trying to figure out what to say next.
He turns to you, “Yeah? What’s up?”
Your brain races to find something to say, but comes up short.
“Uh—,” You start, just to fill the space.
“She wanted to know if you’d come over tonight! Right?” Jungkook fills in and turns to you, nodding his head slightly so that you’d get the hint.
“R-right!” You nod your head rapidly.
“She asked me too but I have plans tonight. But you should go!” Jungkook sounds just as nervous as you feel. Terrible, horrible liar.
Jimin looks at you, slightly unsure at the way you and Jungkook are acting but then you send him this smile. This smile, that makes Jimin remember all that is good and pure in this world and he’s sold on your offer.
“Sure, when should I come over?”
“Umm, around 5?” You say, then remember the mess that is your one bedroom apartment. “Actually, how’s 6?”
“6 is good, I’ll see you then,” Jimin smiles at you sweetly before turning to make his way to his room.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Jimin’s coming over. He likes you and he’s coming over. Once you hear the door to Jimin’s bedroom click shut, you turn to Jungkook frantically.
“What should I do?” You ask, panic evident in your voice.
“What do you mean ‘what should you do?’” Jungkook obviously doesn’t understand your current dilemma.
You groan at his obliviousness, “I mean, how should I act? Now that I know he likes me?”
“Well,” Jungkook starts, turning to face you fully. “You like him back don’t you?”
Your cheeks burn and you nod slowly. You’ve never told anyone about your feelings for Jimin, out of fear that he’d find out.
“Okay, good. Your next step is obvious. Seduce him.”
You choke on nothing at his suggestion, you want to punch him in the face for even saying that. “Jungkook, are you crazy? How would I even know what to do?” Your hands come up to your temples, rubbing to try and soothe the imminent headache coming your way.
“Jimin is so desperate for you, do anything,” Jungkook reassures you. “Just make a move on him, I’m tired of hearing him in the shower every night.”
Your eyes widen, “Wait wha—”
“I’m not explaining, now go clean your place before Jimin sees how messy you really are,” Jungkook stands, straightening his shirt. “And good luck! Don’t bring Jimin back till well past 11:30, okay?”
“I hate you,” You groan, standing up too to grab your things before saying goodbye and calling out “I’ll see you later!” to Jimin.
Hearing the front door shut, Jimin scrambles into Jungkook’s room where he finds him laying down.
“Oh my god, what now?” Jungkook opens one eye to look at Jimin.
“I can’t go, I won’t be able to control myself,” The words fall out of Jimin’s mouth so quickly Jungkook struggles to catch them.
“Relax. It’s gonna be fine,” Jungkook sits up, motioning for Jimin to sit down beside him.
“How can you be so sure?” Jimin’s voice wavers, he’s so nervous.
“Just trust me, hyung,” Jungkook rubs Jimin’s shoulder, comforting him as much as he could.
“Okay,” The crease in Jimin’s brow has eased a bit. “I guess I’ll go get ready.”
Jimin spends his time picking out his outfit and hating it, then picking out a different one and hating that one too. He messes with his hair, trying to figure out what would look best. Jimin can’t seem to decide on anything. All the while, he’s trying to figure out what he should talk to you about, if he should show up with a gift, maybe flowers? Jimin pops into Jungkook’s room every so often, asking him every question that comes to mind and Jungkook tells him over and over again that he’s overthinking it. Jimin knows he’s probably right; he just can’t calm down when it comes to you.
Being good friends with him and his friends, Jimin saw you quite frequently. He loved seeing you, hearing you laugh at stupid jokes that were being said. And as much as he loved seeing you, most of the time, Jimin tried not to be alone with you. You get Jimin all flustered, make his hands get clammy, he can barely get out complete sentences when it’s just you and him.
Jimin sends you an “i’m here” text when he parks his car and you come down to meet him. He sucks in a breath when he sees you wearing a light yellow dress that hits your mid-thigh.
“Hi, Jimin,” You rock back on your heels, waiting for him to answer.
“H-hey, thanks for inviting me.” Is Jimin still breathing, it doesn’t feel like he’s still breathing.
You wave your hand at his thanks, “Come on.”
You grab his arm and lead him to the elevator, pushing the button to the fourth floor. Jimin’s still unsure if he’s breathing or not, but he has to say it.
“You look nice.” Your smile at his compliment practically blinds Jimin. “P-pretty.”
Your cheeks flame. Yeah, you dressed hoping he would like it but that didn’t mean you were expecting to hear him say it.
“T-thanks,” You bite your cheek and look down, praying Jimin doesn’t see just how red you’ve become.
The rest of the ride up is silent, save for Jimin tapping his fingers on the railing, trying to ease his nerves. You don’t have to lead Jimin to your apartment, he knows which one it is, having visited with Jungkook plenty of times. You fumble with your keys, hands shaking slightly at the idea of you and Jimin being alone.
“I got us some snacks,” You say as you open the door and direct him to the small coffee table that has bags of chocolate and candies and chips piled up.
“That’s… a lot of snacks,” Jimin turns to you and laughs softly.
“I wasn’t sure what to get, okay?” You mumble and turn to close the door (and to hide your, once again, flushed cheeks).
Jimin’s made his way to your living room, sitting on the floor with his back against the sofa. Taking a deep breath, you sit beside him reaching for the tv remote and handing it to Jimin.
Jimin doesn’t even remember what movie he picked. He keeps his eyes glued to the tv even though doesn’t like the movie because it’s better than losing himself in the way your crossed legs look in that dress. Doesn’t even want to think about how smooth your thighs would feel under his palms. Jimin is a weak, weak man, especially when it comes to you.
45 minutes into the movie Jimin picked you’re so uninterested in the movie you could die. You look over to Jimin, his eyes are unwavering from the tv, his hand stuck in the air with a chip in it, too busy to bring it up to his mouth. Even in his focused state he’s still the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, lips puckered in confusion and his brows furrowed. You want to roll your eyes at him for not taking the perfect opportunity to say something to you. Leave it to yourself to make anything happen.
You slowly slide your hand across the short distance to his knee. You place it there lightly, feeling Jimin tense slightly underneath. His attention is now on your small hand, you can hear him gulp.
“Jimin,” you purr from beside him, squeezing his knee making him jolt. “Jungkook told me something today.”
Jimin gulps again, heart creating earthquakes inside his body. “W-what did he say?”
You turn your body towards him, sitting on your knees and sliding your hand just an inch higher. Jimin can’t make eye contact with you.
“Well, he told me something about you,”
Jimin’s breathing is shallow now, chest moving up and down quickly. You’re looking down at him with this look that makes him feel like he’s going to explode and Jimin thinks he probably will soon. Then you throw a leg over his lap, making yourself comfortable on his thighs and Jimin knows he’s going to combust.
“O-oh? W-what would that be?” He tries, really tries to sound cool, unaffected by your practically bare legs around him but fails.
Your clothed core against Jimin’s thigh provides instant relief to the pressure that had built up. You slide your hands up his toned chest, slinging your arms around his neck. Jimin flushes at your sudden closeness. He tries so hard not to ogle the way your tits squish together but the neckline of your dress is so low and Jimin can’t help it.
“Oh, come on, Jimin! I know you like me, know you wanna fuck me,” You say exasperatedly. “Jungkook told me!”
“He told you that?” Jimin looks horrified at Jungkook’s breach of trust.
“Well don’t you?” You cock your head to the side, baffled as to why he hasn’t pushed the skirt of your dress up to your waist by now.
Jimin carefully brings his hands to rest on your hips, still wary of the situation. Under his touch, your body feels like it’s on fire. You can feel your panties sticking to your soaking pussy. You move up Jimin’s thighs, your chest almost touching his.
“Don’t you, Jimin?” You repeat your question softly. “Just say it; I know you do.”
“F-fine. I like you,” Jimin blushes fiercely, mumbling under his breath. “Wanna fuck you. Can’t believe he told you.”
Your heart does twirls at Jimin’s confession. You duck your head down, trying to catch his eyes but he looks away.
“Jimin,” His name comes out so softly. “I like you too, you know.”
Jimin’s head shoots up, his eyes are wide and starting to water a bit. He’s wanted to hear you say those words for so long that maybe his mind is playing tricks on him. He couldn’t have heard you correctly, could he?
“R-really?” He asks so quietly, as if he says it any louder you might change your mind.
“Really,” You confirm, brushing your thumb against his soft cheek.
“Oh,” Jimin looks flustered now. “I didn’t know.”
“And now that you do?” You’re so close to begging him to just do something.
With his heart leaping, Jimin inches his face closer to yours. Jimin’s longed to know how your lips would feel for so long, they always look just so soft. He wants to know if they’re as soft as they look. His eyes flicker down to them, just in time to catch your tongue poking out to wet them. The sight makes Jimin surge forward, planting his lips on yours.
Jimin’s lips feel just like you imagined, plush and velvety against yours. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, tilting your head to the side. You want to savor your first kiss with him, really you do, but it seems your hips have a mind of their own when they move against the growing tent in Jimin’s pants. You can’t contain the whine that tumbles out of your mouth, much like Jimin can’t control the groan he lets out.
“Jimin,” It comes out muffled against his lips.
Jimin doesn’t dare to take his lips off yours, only letting out a low “hm?” in response.
It takes all your strength to pull away from him, but you're desperate to feel him touch you.
“Do you wanna take my dress off?” You ask, already pushing a strap down.
Jimin’s hand doesn’t move fast enough to push down the other strap making the dress fall slightly. He groans at the sight of the tops of your breast being exposed. His hands pull down the neckline of your dress, nipples pebbling as they are exposed to the cold air. His hands come up to cup them softly, just pressing the pads of his fingers into the flesh.
“Jimin,” You whine. “Do something.”
Leaning forward, Jimin licks a circle around your nipple, rolling the other between his thumb and index finger. The cry you let out is lewd and it’s music to Jimin’s ears. His tongue rubs over your nipple before he latches on it, sucking roughly. Your fingers tangle in the strands of Jimin’s hair, pushing him as close to you as possible.
“God, I love your tits,” Jimin confesses before moving to the other nipple.
You let out a pathetic moan, pushing your crotch down on Jimin’s, craving any kind of relief. Jimin moans around your nipple, sending vibrations throughout your body. He removes his mouth from you, leaning back and kneading your breasts with both hands. You flush under his intense gaze, hips still rocking back and forth.
“Can I taste you?” The  obscenity of what he says and the politeness of Jimin’s voice don’t match up sending shivers down your spine.
“Y-yeah, please.”
You let Jimin guide you to the floor, placing a pillow under your head and another under your hips. He pulls the dress down your legs, setting it to the side with care. You giggle at that, it’s so Jimin, and he sends you a small smile. Between your legs, Jimin runs his palms up and down your thigh (they’re just as soft as he thought they would be). Leaning down, he kisses up your thigh to the band of your panties, placing soft kisses there too. Your body buzzes under Jimin’s lips.
“Gonna take this off,” Jimin murmurs against your skin.
He rolls them your legs, placing them aside, using the same care he did with the dress. You’d giggle again but the way Jimin’s taking in the sight of your dripping pussy clenching around nothing makes the giggle get caught in your throat.
“So pretty,” Jimin sounds in awe as he traces the puffy lips of your cunt.
His praise makes your face flush. His fingers trace lightly around you before he pushes forward and leaves a wet kiss on your fluttering clit.
“J-Jimin,” You gasp at the feeling of his tongue, taking short quick flicks against you.
He travels down to your clenching hole, licking a thick stripe all the way up to your clit, sucking harshly.
You sob loudly, closing your legs around Jimin’s head. His arms wrap around your thighs to keep them open.
“You taste so good,” Jimin divulges before continuing his attack on your clit.
His fingers probe lightly against your drenched core, dipping them in lightly before taking them out again. You push your hips down on his face, greedy for more of him. You can feel him smirk against you at your urgency. He pushes two fingers in slowly, waiting until you’ve gotten used to the stretch before pulling them out and shoving them back in. You throw your head back in ecstasy, calling out Jimin’s name.
“So wet for me, all for me,” Jimin says it like he can’t believe it.
His fingers scissor inside you, curling when he hears you moan loudly, his tongue still assaulting your clit. He can feel you tightening around him, your walls fluttering.
“Jimin,” You call out warningly. “I-I’m so close.”
“That’s good, baby,” He says proudly, speeding up the pace of his fingers.
“N-no, wanna cum around you,” It comes out of your mouth brokenly.
Jimin groans against your clit, sending another wail out of your mouth. You whine when he pulls his fingers out even though it was your doing. Jimin quickly rids himself of his jeans, the tightness of them was starting to get painful. He situates himself between your legs again, grabbing his cock and pumping it a few times before rubbing the tip against your folds.
“Jimin,” You plead, impatient to feel Jimin stretch you. “Please.”
Jimin pushes in slowly, letting out a whine when he can feel you stretch around him. You cling to his shoulders, making crescent marks with your fingernails.
“Y-you feel fucking amazing,” Jimin pants. “Holy shit.”
You moan loudly as Jimin starts driving his cock further inside you. Jimin’s lips find your neck, leaving wet kisses down the base.
“Feels so good, Jimin.”
Your hands tangle in his hair again, pulling at the roots causing Jimin to moan.
“Been waiting forever to fucking do this,” Jimin says between thrusts. “Don’t ever wanna fucking stop.”
“T-then don’t.”
Jimin’s rhythm speeds up, thrusting in and out of you roughly. With one hand beside your head steadying him, he reaches his other hand down to your clit, rubbing in circles with two fingers. The obscene squelching sound of your pussy and you and Jimin’s moan bounce off the walls.
“J-Jimin, I’m close, so f-fucking close,” You sob loudly, tears welling in your eyes.
“Kiss,” You reach out for Jimin, trying to pull him down to you. “Kiss me, please.”
Jimin obliges happily, smashing his swollen lips on yours. Your pussy clenches around him before your release gushes out. You see stars as your legs shake around him.
“Good girl, my good girl,” Jimin praises, still thrusting inside you, chasing his own release.
As you come down from your orgasm, Jimin’s trusts become sporadic, signalling to you that he’s close too.
“Cum inside, please.”
Jimin looks at you like he’s never heard something more pleasing. You watch his face crumple in bliss as he releases inside you, covering your walls in white.
Chest heaving, Jimin slumps forward, careful not to put all his weight on you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You’re both sweaty and it might have felt gross to Jimin if this was someone else, but this was you and Jimin has loved you for so long.
When he catches his breath, he moves down your body to look at you. Jimin never wants to forget the way your pussy looks when his cum is dripping out of it. You whine at the sensitivity when he swipes his tongue against you, collecting your mixed arousal. He leans back up to kiss you, letting you taste him and yourself on his tongue. And that might have felt gross to you if this was someone else, but this was Jimin and you have loved for so long.
Jimin pulls away with a satisfied smile, laying down beside you.
“So, what did Jungkook tell you?”
You turn to him with a smirk on your face, “Told me you think about me in the shower.”
Jimin’s face turns redder than you’ve ever seen it.
“I’m gonna kill him, seriously.”
“Really?” You tease, tracing your finger on Jimin’s chest. “I think we should thank him.”
“You’re right,” Jimin concedes. “I’m gonna thank him and then kill him.”
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taestefully-in-luv · 4 years ago
Text
Always You | JJK (Six)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 18.3k
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of drugs, mention of threesomes, mention of erection, grinding in sleep, car sex, riding, heated make out, hickeys, light hair pulling, light spanking
Notes: Not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter to be honest but here it is regardless! I hope you guys enjoy it:) ALSO those teaser pics from today!!! Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)
Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous---Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The week drags on slowly and horribly, Monday you had a raging migraine that just wouldn’t go away. Tuesday you were late for your job and were scolded for it. Wednesday you spilled your black coffee all over your white blouse. And today, Thursday, you started your period. This week could not get any worse. Oh wait, yes it can—you just remembered you promised Jungkook you would attend his get together.
You hope things won’t be awkward with Nick…Jungkook has assured you that things are cool and Nick isn’t mad about what happened.
Jungkook 5:15pm
Hey :) so, I was thinking you could bring that 16% wine we always drink?
Jungkook 5:50pm
It starts at 7 but you can come earlier if you want
Jungkook 6:00pm
Or you don’t have to,..it was just a suggestion.
Y/N 6:02pm
I’ll be there at 7.
Jungkook 6:02pm
Ok cool :) I can’t wait to hang out.
You click your phone off, groaning into your pillow. Your cramps are fucking killer and you want to die. You look to your nightstand to see your water and pain killers, you reach for them and swallow them down. Hopefully this helps.
You decide to start getting ready, you settle on some jeans and your favorite striped sweater. Like, who are you trying to impress?
You hear your phone buzzing from your bed and you hurry to answer it.
“Hello?”
“I’m outside whore.”
“Kay be out in a sec.”
You hang up your phone, stuffing it in your back pocket. You gather your things and do one last look in the mirror—casual but cute.
“Holly! They’re here!”
You two rush down to the parking lot where Jimin is parked, Trina and Holly sit in the backseat while you occupy the passenger seat.
“You ready?” Jimin smirks.
~~~~~~
Before you know it, Jimin is knocking on Jungkook and Nick’s front door.
“By the way, I still can’t believe you didn’t who nick was…”
“I never come over here! Jungkook usually comes to mine…” Jimin answers in pout.
The door swings open and there stands Nick, in all his hot glory.
“Hey Nick…” you say, avoiding eye contact but Nick is chipper as can be as he nods at you and everyone else.
“Hey Jungkook! y/n is here!” he calls behind him.
“I mean, we’re here too but go off I guess.” Jimin’s mutters from beside you.
The four of you walk into the apartment, Jungkook still nowhere to be seen.
The small place is filled with maybe 5 other people, you are quick to nod at everyone in greeting. You catch Jungkook leaving his bedroom with Vanessa following closely behind him, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Jungkook finds you staring at him and he grins, walking closer to you and your friends.
“y/n!” he goes in for a quick, unexpected hug.
“Hi.”
“Jimin!” he hugs Jimin too, “and Hey Tr—”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“Yup, nice to see you too Trina.” Jungkook smiles anyway, “And you must be Holly?” he extends his hand out for her to shake. She takes it while smiling awkwardly.
“I’m glad you guys came!” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, “This is uh, this is Vanessa.” He introduces the girl standing beside him.
Vanessa is pretty…really pretty actually. She has short black hair, it looks soft and sleek. She is taller than you, her height almost rivaling Jungkook’s. But she is still smaller than him.
“Hi everyone.” She says flatly.
She doesn’t look interested in meeting any of you, or interested in any of the people here. She grabs her phone from her bag and starts scrolling through it as Jimin introduces everyone.
“And this is y/n.” he finally finishes, gesturing towards you.
At this, Vanessa looks up from her phone to eye you up and down, “Right.” Is all she says, then her eyes are back on her screen.
Wow, quite the charmer. You look at Jungkook whose eyes are already on you, and he chuckles nervously.
“Well, did you bring that wine?” he asks you.
You pull it from the bag you are holding and hand it to him, “Here…” his hand goes to reach it and his fingers brush against yours and you shudder.
“Umm, I’ll pour us all a glass.” He takes the bottle, faces Vanessa and heads toward the kitchen while Vanessa follows him. You watch as they disappear into the other room and you release a breath.
“That’s the bitch he’s fucking?” Trina asks bluntly, one eyebrow raised in question. “She didn’t even look at us!”
“Let’s be nice,” Holly says.
“Fucking fine.” Trina rolls her eyes. Hard.
You can’t help but agree though, Vanessa seems…you don’t know, but why would Jungkook like her? She seems rude, and uninterested in literally everything.
“You’re never going to get over her like this, you know?” Vanessa continues to look at her screen as she speaks to Jungkook. “You’re just hurting yourself.” Her eyes dart towards her glass being poured, “I don’t even like this wine, I told you I wanted the other one.”
“It’s y/n’s favorite.” He exhales deeply as he pours more glasses.
“Oh right, so is this how it’s going to be?” Vanessa clicks her phone off and slides it in her purse, “Now that she’s back in your life everything is going to be about her?”
“No, Vanessa…” he looks up from the bottle, “We’re still…” he gestures between their bodies.
“Right.” She says, tapping her fingers against the counter, “Totally.”
“So what game shall we play?” Jungkook sits down between you and Vanessa, his body vibrating in excitement. (How you and Vanessa ended up sitting next to each other in the first place? You don’t know. But thankfully Jungkook saves the day.)
“How bout never have I ever!” Jimin winks at everyone, “It’s always a good way to get to know new people.”
“Fine.” Trina says with a smirk
“Yeah, I’m down!” Nick says, high fiving his same bro who believes in aliens.
Various ‘yes’s are heard around the room and you nod your head too.
“If you’ve done it, you drink, that’s the rule.” Jimin states “I’ll go first. Never have I ever done coke.”
A few people you aren’t well acquainted with groan and take a sip of their drinks, Jimin looks at you as he passes his turn.
“Uh,” you look up at the ceiling, “Never have I ever had a threesome.”
You notice every single one of your friends taking a drink, Jungkook included. Well, you shouldn’t be surprised. Damn, even Holly? Are you just lame?
Jungkook goes next, “Never have I ever ate ass!” Jimin raises his glass and he take a gulp.
Everyone’s laughing and having a good time, the game continues on for several rounds, everyone drinking at different times but everyone collectively getting drunker.
The turn is back on you…”Never have I ever cheated on a college exam.”
“Fucking liar!” Jungkook snickers beside you, “You copied like half my answers in bio!”
“Oh true.” You say nonchalantly, “Never mind. Jungkook your turn.”
Jungkook thinks for a few moments, “Never have I ever not made a girl come.” He smirks.
“Okay ladies man, we get it, fucking whore.” Jimin sticks his tongue out.
Next is Vanessa’s turn, she tilts her head side to side thinking on what she wants to say.
“Never have I ever had sex with my best friend.” She says, her voice smooth and silky.
You choke on your spit when you process her words, your head snaps to Jungkook’s. He’s already looking at you, debating if he should drink—especially in front of all your friends.
He watches in horror as you begin to raise the glass to your lips, your eyes never leaving his. He raises his own glass to his mouth and takes a sip as you do the same and the room goes quiet.
Jimin watches the two of you, his eyes widening in shock as he puts two and two together.
“Wait wait wait.” Trina speaks up, “Did you two…?” she looks between you two before her eyes settle on you, “When?”
“Yeah, when?” Jimin asks quietly, sounding betrayed.
“Can we not do this right now?” you plead.
Jungkook is nodding his head in agreeance, “Yeah guys….this is a bit…” he glances over at Vanessa who is quietly sipping her wine, she blinks at Jungkook a few times before taking another sip.
“So you two have fucked!” Nick says, totally oblivious. Fucking Nick.
“It was a really long time ago, it meant nothing…” you save while striking a chord in Jungkook, he clenches his jaw. “Well, it meant nothing for only some of us,” he grits out. You feel a pang in your chest. What does he mean by that?
“Okay, would if we all take a moment to relax…” Holly intervenes. She stands up, taking her glass and Trina’s glass to the kitchen.
“It’s getting late anyway.” You stand too, you look at Trina and Jimin with apologetic eyes and nod towards the door, “Let’s get going.”
“Wait y/n,” Jungkook stands up as well, grabbing on to your arm. “Can we talk for a moment?” he motions towards the balcony. “Please.”
You roll your eyes but go along with it, you follow him out the back on to the balcony. It’s a small space, forcing you to stand somewhat close to Jungkook.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that last thing…” he begins, “You were just trying to save the conversation….right?”
“Right.” You agree. You fold your arms over your chest, you want this day to be over with.
“Other than this last bit…I had a lot of fun…you know…everyone hanging out. It was nice,” Jungkook shakes his head a bit, his hair falling all over his face, covering his big doe eyes. You can’t help but reach up and tuck some wild strands away so you could see him properly.
He freezes when you do that.
“Oh sorry…habit.”
“No no its okay, I was just surprised is all.” He smiles, and you feel your heart glow.
“Vanessa seems…” you don’t know why you bring her up right now but you do.
“Nice.”
Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, looking at you with serious eyes,
“You don’t like her.”
He chuckles lightly, “I still know when you’re lying.”
“Sorry,” you laugh into your palm, “She just doesn’t seem all that interested in anyone.”
“Including me?”
“Kind of…sorry.” You look up at him, “It’s none of my business.”
“Well, you’re my friend so I value your opinion.”
“Okay then…I just can’t seem to find what you might like about her…” Your honest nature isn’t something Jungkook isn’t use to, but he still feels defensive.
“Well, you don’t know her.”
“Do you?”
He opens his mouth to answer but falls short of a response. He stuffs his hands into his front pockets of his jeans and lets out a small groan.
“Can we go one day without fighting?” he whispers.
“Sorry.” You offer a half ass apology. “Jimin and the rest are probably waiting for me so—”
“Wait…” he grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to him, “Can I hug you? Since I have to ask now.”
“If I say no?”
“Then I will probably cry myself to sleep.”
“Well, we can’t have that can we?”
“So that’s a yes?”
You look up into Jungkook’s endearing eyes and nod your head yes, he doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his arms around you and engulfing you in a sweet embrace. He smells like his laundry detergent and his natural scent, the combo making you dizzy—as usual. You finally return the hug, your own arms circling around his waist. You feel him inhale you and you can’t help but do the same…you missed this. You missed his touch—his warmth. You missed him.
“I missed you too.”
Oh, did you say that out loud?
“Yes you did.” He chuckles into your neck. his hot breath hitting your skin making you shudder.
“I missed you so much.” He whispers into your hair, his words almost getting lost in your locks.
“Then why did you replace me so quickly?” you whisper into his chest, you feel his heart beat faster than before.
“I don’t like her, Jungkook.” You admit.
“Please just give her a chance…for me, please.” He exhales into your neck before nuzzling further.
“Do you like her?” you brace yourself for the answer, you grip on to his shirt, bunching up the material in your hands.
“Yes.” He tightens his hold on you, “but, it’s complicated.”
You pull back from him, “Wait…you really do like her? Oh…” you drop your arms from his body.
“y/n…This is hard for me. She’s the only thing distracting me from…” he gulps, “Things.”
You take a step back, confused.
“Things?” you scoff, “What aren’t you telling me Jungkook?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He whispers, his hands still rest on your waist. He pulls you closer again, “I’m working on it.” He looks into your eyes and you can’t help but stare at his lips as he licks them.
“How hard are you working on it?” you wrap your hands around his middle again, stepping closer to him.
“I don’t…know…” he breathes out erratically. His eye becoming half lidded as he stares down at you, “I….dont …know….” He repeats in a daze.
Your hands travel up his back until your grabbing on to his hair, using this to tilt his head down gently.
“You’ll tell me eventually, won’t you?” you angle your head upwards, he slowly begins to lean down, his eyes shutting as he leans in closer and closer. You part your lips slightly waiting in anticipation for his lips to find yours.
“You’re so fucking unfair…” You feel Jungkook’s whisper hit your lips as he begins closing the distance.
Then the door fucking opens, you and Jungkook jumping apart at the sudden intrusion.
“y/n are you ready?” Jimin looks between you two, he eyes you suspiciously before looking at you expectantly.
“Right, yeah.” You look at Jungkook who is as red as a fucking cherry. He scratches his head with one hand and uses to the other to usher you inside. Were you and Jungkook about to…? Holy shit. What has gotten into you?
Before you go inside you turn around to face him, “Maybe we can talk about this later?”
“Uh, maybe.” Jungkook looks at the floor as you speak to him, he sways from one foot to another. “See you later y/n.”
~~~~
“Fucking spill it.” Trina spits out once you four are in the car. She aggressively puts on her seatbelt as Jimin turns on the car but refuses to drive anywhere until you talk.
“Can this wait til we’re home?” you whine, putting on your own seatbelt.
“I agree with y/n, Trina. Let’s wait…” Holly’s troubled smile begs Jimin to drive you all home back to your place.
Jimin is silent as he puts the car in reverse and begins driving. Just complete silence coming from him, which is more worrisome than him yelling at you.
The drive is mostly quiet, you can tell Trina is really forcing herself to keep it down while Holly has a death grip on her thigh. You want to laugh at their dynamic but you don’t think anyone is in the mood to laugh right now.
Once home, you drag out one of the chairs at the breakfast table and plop down, taking a seat. Your three friends follow your lead, each taking a seat at the table.
“Guys…do we really have to do this…?” you fold your hands out in front of you on top of the table.
“If it’s really that hard to talk about, no. But I would like it if we did…” Trina tries to say calmly.
You chew on your lips—your usual bad habit as you think. Do you tell them everything? About that night? Your true intentions? It’s silent for a while until Jimin quietly clears his throat.
“Neither of you told me…my best friends…” he stares down at the table top.
“When?” he whispers.
You stare at Jimin, who sits across from you and you feel your heart break just a bit. He looks and sounds so betrayed.
“Freshmen year. New Year’s Eve party.” You finally say.
Trina’s eyes expand, realization hitting her.
“Wait wait wait.” She throws her hands up, “New Year’s Eve party? The night you were going to….?”
You only nod your head yes, feeling fucking embarrassed.
“Going to what?” Jimin asks.
“Nothing!” You and Trina say at the same time.
“Really guys?” Jimin looks down at his hands, a frown taking over his face. “Is that how we’re going to be?”
You do feel bad but are you ready for Jimin to know? One look at his sad face and you guess the answer is yes.
“That night I was going to…” you begin, the memory of that night coming back to you.
Tonight is the night. It’s New Year’s Eve and you’re going to do it. Maybe it’s this glass of wine that’s giving you courage—liquid courage—but you feel like tonight is a good as any.
Jungkook promised you no girls tonight…that tonight is between two best friends with no interruptions. And you believe him, of course. In the months you have known Jungkook he has always kept his word to you.
You lean back in your rolling chair, bringing the glass of wine to your lips and you take a generous sip…yes, tonight you are going to do it. You are going to confess to Jungkook.
“What’s got you so nervous tonight?” Trina asks as she applies her dark lipstick to her thick lips. Trina and you are getting ready in your dorm for the long awaited New Year’s Eve party and she can tell something is weird about you. You keep rubbing your sweaty hands down your black skirt, you keep patting your sweaty forehead dry with one of your t shirts, you keep looking in the mirror and taking much needed deep breaths. You are obvious. So fucking obvious.
“I could be wrong but it looks like you’re worried about a dead body you’re trying to hide…” Trina’s hand stops mid lipstick application as she glances at you, “bitch, you know I will help you.”
You can’t help but laugh, easing some of the nerves.
“No, nothing like that…” you know Trina knows. She’s had her assumptions but she never lets the subject linger…she basically is a bad bitch who minds her business…unlike someone you know—Jimin. Who ALWAYS has some shit to say about you and Jungkook, he on the other hand is a messy bitch who does NOT mind his business.
“It’s about…” you struggle to complete your sentence as you gulp down more wine.
“You don’t have to say…I know. Just know that no matter what, I am on your side.” Trina goes back to applying another layer of lipstick, “Especially if you have to hide a body.”
“Sometimes I wonder about you.” You say flatly.
Trina only laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much. “You wonder about me?” she winks.
It’s your turn to apply your own lipstick to your lips, a nice soothing red when you receive a text from Jimin that he and Jungkook are on their way to the party.
“I hope Stephanie is going to be there tonight…” Trina mumbles underneath her breath, “if not, this outfit is a complete waste” You giggle as you continue to apply your lipstick. You check your phone again to see another text that they’re there,
“Shit, we gotta get going!” You drop your lipstick in your bag and a few other essentials.
Trina raises a brow at you, “Are you trying to rush me?” she looks amused. “You can’t rush perfection.” she threads her fingers through her bouncy hair, “Lucky for you, I am done! And also, always perfect.”
“Yes yes miss perfect, we get it. Let’s go!”
The party is without a doubt: booming. The amount of decorations and alcohol and people is impressive. This is surely about to be a party worth remembering—and you hope you do. You decide to only sip a few beers—wanting to stay at least a little bit sober when you confess and you hope Jungkook isn’t completely shit faced either. Speaking of, where is he? Your eyes scan the crowd, you see Jimin surrounded by a group of people, laughing his head off. You see Trina grinding on some girl…maybe Stephanie? And you see Jungkook on the other side of the living room, sipping on his drink while some girl talks to him. But his eyes are on you. You crack an awkward smile and he turns to face the girl that is trying so hard to talk to him. He says a few words to her and is quickly leaving her side, he is now walking towards you. You can’t help but feel nervous as he approaches you…tonight’s the night, you keep reminding yourself.
You never not liked Jungkook…If you weren’t so shy maybe you would have slept with him the first night you met him… but instead you became friends and that was without a doubt the best thing that could of happened for you two. But in the back of your mind you always wanted more. Something always tugged at your hands, begging you and pulling you in the direction of more with Jungkook. But he seems fine with the friendship…so much so that you thought that maybe pursuing him would be best if you pushed it to the side.
Unfortunately for you, you just couldn’t take it anymore. Your feelings so overwhelming that you got pushed the edge. You’re about to fall off the Jungkook cliff so you decide instead of falling against your will, you will control the situation—parachute and all, you are ready the fall. You’re going to confess.
“What’s with your face?” Jungkook finally stands in front of you, his hands pushed into the front pocket of his jeans.
You take a moment to take in Jungkook’s appearance…his tight jeans, his black combat boots and a white t shirt, with his coat draped over his left arm. He looks good. Really good. You crumble at the sight.
“Who’s the girl?” you catch yourself asking. It isn’t odd for you to pry into his life like this so the words don’t taste weird leaving your mouth…but, only you know you’re only asking because the tinge of jealousy you feel.
“Dunno.” He shrugs his shoulders, “I think I have a class with her.”
“Oh nice.” You also shrug, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Shall we dance?” you nod your head towards the center of the living room where bodies shamelessly dry hump other bodies. You think you’ve seen Jimin grind on at least 10 different people tonight.
“Sure.” He smiles, his arm extends out for you to lead the way.
Somehow you went from sipping on a couple beers to taking shots with none other than your best friend. The two of you go from the living rooms dance floor to the kitchen for hours. The world becomes friendlier and a little blurrier but it’s nothing you can’t handle. You remind yourself to slow down, because you want to at least remember telling Jungkook your feelings for him and you want to remember his response. But wait—would if he rejects you? The thought lingers in your mind, so what do you do? You take another shot.
The air that surrounds the dance floor is different than the rest of the house…its hot, sweaty and downright dangerous. You and Jungkook find yourself dancing along with Trina and Jimin at some point, the 4 of you spinning around, jumping and hugging one another. Laughter filling the air, everything is perfect.
You feel Jungkook’s tatted fingers grip your waist as you dance on him, his fingers never find themselves going lower. And you wish they did.
“Guys! Guys!” You hear Jimin’s voice from a distance, but quickly growing closer.
Jimin stands next to the two of you as you guys are in your own world, the alcohol running through your veins, the music thumping loudly in your ears, Jungkook’s hands holding on to you tightly. Your bodies move together to the beat of the music, Jungkook’s head innocently falling into the crook of your neck. You innocently grinding your ass into his crotch.
All very innocent.
“Wow, just fuck already.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully, “GUYS!”
“What?!” you and Jungkook yell back in unison, not having liked being interrupted.
An evil smirk makes its way on Jimin’s face, “Upstairs. Let’s go! Truth or dare, come on!”
Truth or dare? What are you guys, 12? You giggle into your hand, nodding your head approvingly. It should be fun. You follow Jimin’s lead up the stairs, you turn around to see Jungkook right after you. You reach for his hand, you two interlocking fingers as you stumble up the stairs trying to keep each other stable. The two of you giggle for no apparent reason as you make your way up, making Jimin roll his eyes again.
You’re about to enter the room when Jungkook stops just outside the door.
“Wait…Jimin?” Jungkook nibbles on his lips, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
You and Jimin share a concerned look before you announce your departure.
“I’ll see you guys inside.” You smile, letting go of Jungkook’s hand.
“What’s up man?”
“Dare me to kiss y/n.” Jungkook states confidently. Jimin tilts his head in confusion then amusement.
“Why don’t you just kiss her without my help, hm?” Jimin teases, ruffling the younger ones hair. “But sure, why not?”
“Thanks, I owe you.”
“Oh you sure do.” Jimin winks, “Now come on.”
You’re sitting in a circle in the room with about 8 other people, some you’ve barely talked to, others you would consider friends. Jungkook and Jimin walk into the room and you notice Jungkook’s face is a soft pink…probably from the alcohol. Jungkook finds a spot on the floor next to you and he smiles gently in your direction, giving you the heads up that everything is okay. You just nod your head and smile back. The room is loud with chatter and laughter until Jimin stands up and clanks a wine glass with a spoon—ever the dramatic.
“Okay guys, we all know why we are here—truth or dare time!” He sits down in his spot, crossing his legs in front of him, “First, let’s start with Trina.”
“Of course.” Trina says flatly.
“Truth or dare?” Jimin smirks.
“Dare, obviously” she looks around the room, winking at several people.
“Okay,” Jimin pretends to think for a few moments, like he doesn’t already know what he’s going to say. “Dare you to flash your tits to everyone.”
“Oh? Is that all?” Trina quickly lifts her shirt up, revealing her bare breasts to the room. You and Jungkook cackle as you watch the scene unfold.
“Okay Hobi…” Trina nods towards to the bright smiling boy, “Truth or dare?”
“Dare!” he grins with all his teeth, no doubt excited “Okay, I dare you to take 3 shots in a row.”
The truths and dares continue on like this for quite a while. You being lame chose truth at first and had to admit when the last time you masturbated—which was 10 minutes before Trina arrived to your dorm. Jungkook had to spank some guys ass and Jimin had to make out with like, 3 different people. Which he wasn’t complaining. All was well…until it was Jimin’s turn again.
“Okay, Jungkook. Truth or dare?” Jimin smiles knowingly with an evil glint in his eye.
“Dare.” Jungkook says with a cocky smile.
“I dare you to kiss y/n.”
You immediately choke on your drink as you process his words. Jungkook? Kiss YOU? In front of everyone?
Everyone in the room starts whooping and hollering at the idea, but you shake your hands in front of you in denial.
“No, no. We can’t do that!” you slur, your eyes squeezing shut. This isn’t how things are supposed to happen! You need to confess first!
You miss the way Jungkook’s face falls as he looks between you and Jimin. Jimin looks at Jungkook with pity and mouths a ‘sorry’.
“Yeah, no way in hell am I kissing her.” Okay, maybe he didn’t have to sound so harsh. But he feels a bit rejected at the moment and needs to be on your same page.
“Uh, yeah.” You feel a pang in your chest. Oh. Jungkook doesn’t want to kiss you, not even as a dare.
“That’s literally the last thing I want to do!” You hear him cackle from beside you, “Someone else can do the honors!” he continues to bark loudly, laughter filling the room.
Jimin frowns, looking at Jungkook with knowing eyes as he clasps his hands together. “Fine. Kiss Amber instead.”
“That I can do.” Jungkook smirks, looking across the room to a blushing Amber.
Things are starting to feel like they are crumbling…you shouldn’t even confess anymore, right? Jungkook will clearly reject you. The thought makes you want to cry like a stupid ass baby.
“I’m gonna get something more to drink.” You say to no one in particular as you stand to your feet. Jimin watches you leave the room with sad eyes, then his eyes go to Jungkook who looks panicked.
You open the door and go to close it behind you when you feel it being pushed open again. Jungkook.
You ignore him the whole way down the stairs but he continues to silently follow you.
The party is still going hard when you make your way downstairs again, you weave through the crowd to get to the kitchen to fetch yourself another beer.
“y/n! Wait up!” you hear Jungkook call from behind you but you decide to ignore him.
You find the cooler of beers and grab yourself one, the chilling beer freezing against your fingertips. You crack it open and begin chugging it back, enjoying the carbonation that sizzled down your throat.
“Slow down Lightning McQueen.” Jungkook chuckles next to you.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” you don’t mean to snap, but you do. You feel tired, just tired.
“What’s with you?” he quirks a brow, looking adorable while doing so.
“What are you doing here?” you snap again, “Shouldn’t you be like, making out with Selena or whatever her name is.”
Jungkook tilts his head to the side, his doe eyes big and bright, “Selena? Oh! You mean Amber? Nah, I saw you leaving so I came with you.” He smiles, “I told you no girls tonight. I am spending new year with you.”
You blink at him in surprise, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Jungkook always keeps his word to you.
It makes the world crumble a little more, he said no girls. And you guess that includes you. Tonight was supposed to be the night, but you got your answers. Jungkook doesn’t feel the same.
“Want to go outside?” he asks, head nodding towards the back door.
“It’s cold, Jungkook!”
“I’ll keep you warm.” He winks then transitions into a soft smile, “Promise.”
You feel your heart begin to race but you order yourself to calm down…you aren’t confessing tonight, and that’s final.
The two of you walk outside, it was pretty damn cold, your skirt and crop top barely doing enough to keep you warm.
“Here.” Jungkook is shrugging off his jacket and handing it you.
“Thanks” you shiver, slipping on the warm, fuzzy coat. “Will you be fine?” you question.
“Only if you come snuggle with me.”
“Do these lines work on most girls?”
“Usually all of them.” He smirks, rubbing his hands together for warmth.
You giggle and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his middle. Even though it’s like 20 degrees outside, Jungkook is unbelievably warm. You have to remain normal, like your heart isn’t breaking with every word or soft touch he offers you.
Jungkook pulls his phone out to check the time, huffing when he sees there’s still a few more minutes until midnight
“So how many girls did you have to reject tonight?” You ask with a snicker. Jungkook raises a brow in question, “Like, ‘oohh Jungkook please be my new year’s kiss??’ ya know, shit like that.” You mock. It’s not like you actually want to know the answer but you can’t help but be curious.
“Oh that? No girls lining up tonight.”
“Why’s that? You shut em all down early?”
Jungkook sways back and forth, your body clinging on to his, “I think they all see me with you tonight and are laying off.”
You scoff at his words, “Right, because I have stopped them before.” You roll your eyes.
“Ha, you never know.” Jungkook takes another look at his phone, “Oh less than a minute.” He says with the shrug of his broad shoulders.
“Wanna be my kiss Jeon?” the words slip out of your mouth almost killing you in the process. You can’t believe you just asked that! You literally just decided you’re giving up so why the hell would you offer him your lips
“Just kidding, you would rather have someone else kiss me, right?” you huff, saving yourself but god, what you wouldn’t give to feel his lips on yours just one time. For him to be yours…just one time.
Jungkook chokes on his spit as he tries to swallow down your words, “W-What?”
“Nothing.”
Jungkook obviously heard you loud and clear. Did you actually want to be kissed by him, he thinks.
5
4
3
2
1
Cheers of your classmates erupt besides you and you cannot help but smile at everyone’s happiness. You see many of them sharing hugs and kisses and you feel a pang of jealousy but you are mostly feeling joy.
“It’s nice right? Every—”
You didn’t get to finish what you were saying before Jungkook’s chapped lips are on yours. His mouth is warm and inviting but you don’t make yourself at home. Instead, you stand absolutely still as Jungkook innocently moves his lips over yours. Before you can really react, Jungkook is pulling away: absolutely horrified.
“y/n…I shouldn’t have done that…I’m sorry,” Jungkook is quick to stutter out.
You are frozen. You wish you could blame something…anything, wish you could blame the flurries that floated down to the earths ground, wish you could blame the below freezing weather and your short mini skirt, wish you could blame anything for why you are standing absolutely frozen.
You wish you could move, but the universe just won’t allow it.
“Oh my god, y/n…I really am sorry…fuck…” Jungkook’s wide eyes are focused on his feet as he threads his fingers through his thick, black hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Please forget about th—”
And your lips are back on his again. Jungkook’s lips may be a bit chapped but they are as soft and fluffy as you have once imagined. With your lips back on his, you take charge. You quickly move them over his, he hums in satisfaction. Your fingers find themselves in his dark locks, pushing up into his soft hair as his hand moves to cup your jaw.
You gasp when you feel his teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and moan into his mouth when you feel him jerk his hips into yours.
“Let’s go to your place.” You heavily breathe out, your fingers dragging down the side of his face.
Jungkook disconnects himself from you, stepping back a good foot, inspecting your face,
“You sure?” he asks.
“I’m sure.”
Because he may not feel the same, and he may not be yours but maybe just for one night he can be.
“Wait, you were…” Jimin’s eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead, “you were going to confess to Jungkook…?”
“Yeah…I know this might be shocking to hear—”
Jimin bursts out into laughter, his hand goes over to cover his mouth as he mutters out apologies.
“Shocking?! You think this is shocking to hear?!” he continues to chuckle, “But wow…on New Year’s eve…oh my god…” Realization hits Jimin. “Oh my god…you both are so unbelievably stupid. Oh my god.”
You share a look of confusion with Trina and Holly as Jimin continues to connects dots in his head.
“Please promise me one of these days you will actually sit down with Jungkook and have an honest conversation with him…because this is just cruel and hilarious to listen to. Your timing…wow. So fucking stupid, you idiots.”
“Okay, you don’t have to be so harsh Jimin.” Holly says sweetly, her awkward smile easing everyone.
“What do you mean?” you finally ask.
“Do you still like him…even now? I mean, I know the answer honestly but go ahead.” Jimin gestures his hand for you to answer him.
“I…”
“She doesn’t need to answer that.” Trina cuts in, “No matter what, we’re on her side. Right?”
“Oh honey,” Jimin tilts his head towards Trina, “There are no sides for me. They’re both my friends and they’re both idiots.”
You can’t help but laugh at Jimin’s words. Because he knows better than anyone how true that is, so you’ll believe him.
“But really y/n…if you didn’t tell me or Trina…did you tell anyone?”
You begin chewing on your lips again,
“I don’t even talk about it with Jungkook.”
“Why?” Holly decides to pry.
“We…after we slept together…I could tell Jungkook was freaking out. He kind of tried brushing off the whole situation and I…I just had sex with the guy I had feelings for. So I put a little bit of space between us—”
“Wait, this is when you guys weren’t really hanging out for a couple months?!”
“It was only a month.” You deadpan. “But yeah…”
“I was wondering what the fuck was going on…Jungkook wouldn’t tell me anything.”
Guilt begins making a new home with you as you sit here. You wonder if you made a poor choice back then.
“Then we agreed to never talk about it to save our friendship.” You finish.
Jimin gives you a blank stare, his eyes probably going dry from lack of blinking.
“To…save your…y/n please, I am literally begging you. Talk to him. Fucking tell him the truth…” Jimin begs, he finally screws his eyes shut and shakes his head, “I can’t help you any more than that.”
~~~~~~
It’s Monday morning and you woke up with a raging headache and a snotty nose. You better not be getting sick, you think to yourself. You have a full shift ahead of you!
You slowly put on your work uniform and apply some light makeup for the day. Did you always lack color in your face or are you actually getting sick? Fuckity fuck, you think.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jade asks from beside you, you notice she dyed her hair black instead of the light brown she was previously sporting.
“Nice hair.” You go to compliment.
“Nice try but don’t change the subject.” She pats you on the back, “Me and the guys can take care of customers, you just bake, okay?”
“Kay.”
“You know who is so beautiful even when she’s sick?” Adam butts in, “Hazel.” He answers for you both with a dopey smile.
“Now’s not the time, loser.” Jade bobs her head around, “Where’s Lenny?”
“Probably eating fucking cookies.” You say with a grin.
“Wow, guys. I’ve been here the whole time and I am not eating cookies.” Lenny says from behind Jade. “But speaking of, don’t throw away the rejects I am taking them home.”
“Quick everyone,” Jade says flatly, “act surprised.”
The sound of the bell going off catches your attention, you notice a head full of sandy hair and you groan. It’s him. You feel like all the energy is being drained from your body, now is not the time for Mister Oatmeal Raisin.
“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry!” Lenny gives you a wide smile but you raise your hand up to stop him.
“It’s okay, he’s my usual. He’s going to ask for me anyway.”
You make it the front of the store to the register and give Mister Oatmeal Raisin a weak smile.
“Are we going to be a brat today?” he greets you warmly. You scoff and try smiling again but fall a bit short.
“Hey everything okay, y/n?”
“I’m fine Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”
“You don’t look…” he lets the words die on his tongue, not wanting to actually offend you.
“The usual?” you ask, already pushing the buttons on the screen for his order.
“Yeah.” He gives you a small smile and you smile back. You aren’t use to being so nice with him, usually you two have a lot more fun, shit, you really must not be feeling well.
You must turn around too quickly because you become very dizzy, your body wobbling and shaking from the sudden chill you feel. You hurry to lean against the counter, your hand going up to feel your throbbing forehead.
“Hey you good?” Mister Oatmeal Raisin peeks over.
“Fine, I—” you try to take a few steps but wobble too much that you almost fall. The world turning dark as your vision goes blurry but before you can hit the ground you feel yourself fall into two arms.
“Woah woah, y/n? y/n?” you hear your name from a distance, but the world is so dark and so cold that you can hardly focus on it.
“I got you.” You hear the same voice again.
You slowly open your eyes to see your most faithful customers face mere inches from your own as he holds your body up.
“You okay?”
You steady yourself and slowly get out of his hold and nod your head.
“Yeah, thanks Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” You weakly smile, saluting towards him.
“Min Yoongi.”
You can’t help but blush at your situation,
“Yoo…Yoongi.” You repeat back, your face returning some of its color. Mostly just shades of red.
“Yeah.” He smiles a real smile, you notice how cute and gummy it is and it makes you feel nice. Min Yoongi, huh?
~~~~~
It’s a lazy Tuesday afternoon, the sun creating a blanket of warmth outside while being accompanied by a fresh breeze. You want to enjoy the day…you really do but…
“Just let me die a miserable death.” You sniffle into your sleeve. It’s the 2nd day of the flu and you are well, like you said, miserable.
“You need to take the rest of your meds babe,” Jimin’s hand is full of various pills, he tries handing them to you but you deny him.
“No, I’m gonna overdose.”
“You’re not gonna fucking overdose you dramatic ass bitch.” Jimin rolls his eyes, setting the medicine down on your nightstand next to a full glass of water.
“Listen, I have to go to work but maybe call Trina to come take care of you? I know Holly is at school for the day—”
“Trina is home visiting her parents…” you sound disgusting as you speak, your voice all gross and nasaly.
“Oh. Maybe you could call—”
“No. Anyone but him,” you cut in, waving your hands in front of your face.
Anyone but Jungkook, you don’t need him to take care of you…you guys are hardly starting to become friends again and its only in group settings. So him taking care of you one on one sounds…intimate.
“No offense babe, but you literally don’t have any other friends.”
“I can take care of my—” you’re cut off by a string of sneezes, one after the fucking other. “Fuck, I am dying.” You shiver.
Jimin places his hand over your forehead, getting a feel for your temperature.
“Shit…I’m going to call him.”
“Noooo Jimin….” You lay back on your bed, your head beginning it’s pounding again. “Don’t need him…” you lazily grab the NyQuil bottle from your nightstand, “Only need this.” You smile while taking a few gulps.
“Jesus, what is wrong with you?”
Jimin takes out his phone and taps away on his screen, you assume he is sending a million texts to Jungkook begging him to come babysit you, that or he is texting Trina what a stubborn, whiny bitch you are to which she probably just replies with “True.”
“Wanna watch Howl’s Moving Castle.” You slur in your drowsy state, all the meds and NyQuil kicking in.
“Jungkook will be here in 30. Have him put it on for you when he gets here…I really gotta go…”
“Jungkook?” you try to open your eyes as you speak but they threaten to close every few seconds.
“Yeah. He will take care of you y/n.”
You wrap yourself further into your duvet, but the shivers don’t let up. You’re shaking from how freaking cold you are. Yet you are sweating like the disgusting human being you are.
Jimin eyes you over once more, his eyes full of pity as he closes your bedroom door and whispers a ‘see you later’ under his breath.
“y/n?” You hear his voice in the distance, like he’s a mile from you at least. His voice is fuzzy and far away. And you want it closer.
“y/n???” your body is being shaken awake, gently though. Like, he doesn’t want to hurt you.
“Hey…you need to take your medicine…” you begin to slowly open your eyes, the world is blurry and the sound of his angelic voice echoes. Jungkook.
“No…” you manage to breathe out.
“y/n you know I will force these pills down your throat.”
“mmmmm, leave me alone.” You lazily turn your body over to face the window. Your body shivering as you nuzzle further into the duvet.
“Not happening,” He walks to the other side of the bed and sits on the edge, just staring down at you. “Please take your meds, for me?”
“Mm mm”” you shake your head, your hair sticking to your forehead as more sweat builds up.
Jungkook looks at you with a soft smile, his hand reaching out to feel your forehead. His eyes widen as he feels how much you are burning up.
“Fuck…you’re hot.”
You crack open your eyes to look at Jungkook, “Thanks, you’re hot too.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze. Your drowsy state feeling intoxicating as you lay here in your bed.
Jungkook chuckles to himself before turning serious again, “If you take some fever reducer I will do whatever you want today.”
You let his words marinate as you lay here, lifeless. “Anything?” you say, peering up at him.
His soft smile grows as his fingers find their way in your messy, sweaty hair.
“Anything.”
“Go buy me chicken noodle soup.” You whisper. “The kind you use to always buy me.”
Jungkook’s brows climb up his forehead as he looks at you amused.
“You think I came empty handed? Like, I didn’t already bring it?” he smirks, standing to his feet. “I’ll go warm it up, and you promise you will take your meds?”
“Pinky promise.” You weakly lift up your hand to bring your pinky to his and he gladly accepts it.
Of course Jungkook brought the soup. He’s Jungkook and you’re y/n. He is always taking care of you and you want to melt. Well, with how high this fever is you actually might.
“Hey Jungkook?” you struggle to turn over to face the bedroom door, “Thanks for coming.” Your dopey smile doing things to his heart. He looks at you with a soft, almost sad smile before he’s making his way to the kitchen.
Jungkook doesn’t want to admit how fast he rushed here to your place, but it was fucking fast. All Jimin sent was a simple “y/n’s sick.” text and he was already calling the deli where he got the soup from, placing a quick order for 2 and gathering his stuff to make his way over.
He is used to being in charge of you when you’re sick because you are stubborn as hell and he actually has the patience. But he has barely talked to you since the night of the get together, aka the night he became weak and almost kissed you—and if it weren’t for Jimin, he is sure he would have.
Jungkook stands at the stove as he heats up a portion of the chicken soup, he stares off into space as the surface begins to bubble. He exhales deeply, taking the pot off the stove and pouring the contents into a bowl for you. The soup is hot, but you probably need the heat to help ease the congestion.
Jungkook walks back into your room, the bowl in his hands with a towel wrapped around it. You wish you could smell the soup but you’re so blocked up that you don’t even notice it.
“Here, try to sit up.” He sets the bowl down on your nightstand. He goes to help you sit up from your spot in bed, his strong arms pulling you up and you gasp when you’re finally upright. Fuck. You become so lightheaded and dizzy that you hold on to his forearm for support and he lets you. He gives you a moment to adjust to your new position before he’s reaching for the soup.
“It’s hot, so be careful.” He warns softly.
He waits for you to grab the bowl but you just continue to stare at him with tired eyes.
“Wow, do I have to do everything?” he jokes, “Even feed you?”
You nod your head slowly in approval, “Yes, feed me.”
“Such a brat. You’re definitely taking all your meds after this, okay?”
“Sure.”
Jungkook sets the bowl on the edge of the bed, holding it with one hand carefully and his other hand scoops up the broth with a spoon. He brings the spoon to your mouth and nudges it between your lips.
“Open.” He demands.
Your half lidded eyes stare up at his large ones, your chest slightly heaving from trying to breathe. You never break contact as you part your lips for him, letting him pour the spoons contents down your throat.
“Good girl.” He whispers, setting the spoon back down in the bowl. “Taste good?”
You swallow the liquid and open your mouth to speak ,”Can’t taste anything…” you murmur.
Jungkook smiles down at you, “That’s a shame because,” he takes a mouthful of soup in his mouth, “It’s fucking delicious.”
“Hey! You’ll get sick!”
“I never get sick from you, remember?”
You lay your head back on your headboard, closing your eyes as the NyQuil begins to make its second attempt with you.
“So sleepy but so cold.”
“You need to eat more baby.” Jungkook gathers vegetables and a piece of chicken this time in the spoon, he brings the spoon to your lips and you open wide for him, eating what he feeds you gratefully.
This goes on for several minutes until you can’t stomach anymore food, you slide back down into your sheets, feeling miserable all over again.
“Hey, time for yours meds.” Jungkook says sternly, he shakes the pill bottle to remind you of your deal.
“Fine,” you reply weakly, you try to sit back up enough to swallow down some pills and water.
Once you gulp it down, Jungkook stares at you with a satisfied smile.
“Cold?” he asks.
“Freezing.”
You feel the bed dip beside you and before you can react you feel two strong, warm arms engulf you in a hug.
“Jungkook, what are you doing?” you slur into his chest, sleep trying its hardest to take you away.
“Just rest, y/n.” he hugs you tighter. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
Jungkook feels his heart crack when you doubt his promises now, he feels himself sink into depression as he recalls what he did to you.
The past 3 months have been crazy and weird without you. He’s missed you every day. The first few weeks he spent it in isolation. He felt like he was lost and lonely and like he didn’t deserve anyone’s love or affection. Then he decided in order for him to move on he needs to put some serious distance between the two of you…hence, why he moved out.
He knows it was sudden and fucked up but he had to…Or else he would be stuck in his lonely unrequited love forever.
Your last night with him before he disappeared he even got his hopes up…that maybe you could feel the same, but he had to be realistic. You were in such a weird state, you just needed comfort. And he hates that he was second choice.
He thought on this for a couple months, his mind overflowing with thoughts and cruel ideas. He was beginning to spiral until he met…Vanessa.
Vanessa was just looking to get laid, just like him. They met through tinder, hooking up after matching the first night. But the sex was so good they both agreed to do it again.
One night, they got so shit faced they both ended up venting about the one who makes life better yet harder. For her, it was her ex of 4 years and for him, it was you.
They confided in one another, feeling free telling someone their deepest romantic desires and they just clicked. Forming a solid friendship while also fucking.
Jungkook is grateful for Vanessa because for the first time in 3 years he connected with someone who isn’t you. Vanessa is a smart, sexy girl. And Jungkook isn’t blind to see that, so they made a deal. They would use each other to get over the ones they really love. And he thinks it could of almost worked until he saw you at that party. You were wearing the same black mini skirt that he fucked you in for the first (and only) time. You looked better than he’s ever seen you.
Somehow this made Jungkook feel even more depressed. So you are better off without him, he thinks.
Jungkook is lost in his thoughts when he feels you stir…you briefly open your eyes and tilt your head to look up at him, you blink lazily with a dopey smile.
“love you.” You yawn out, closing your eyes once again, drifting back off into dream world.
Jungkook’s heart stops. Your words ringing in his ears as he tries to stay calm.
He knows you mean it platonically but he still can’t help what it does to his weak heart. He is crazy for you, even with everything that’s happened he still loves you. You and you only. It’s always you.
Jungkook plays with your hair and chuckles lightly as he hears you struggling to breathe properly due to your nose being plugged up. How can he continue to see Vanessa when he has you? Jungkook’s smile drops all together when he realizes that would put him back at square 1.
It’s almost midnight when you wake, your body feels stiff from how much shivering you endured. You try to get up when you realize Jungkook’s body is wrapped strongly around your own, his light snores filling up the room.
You look at him carefully, his hair falling into his eyes as he moans lightly every time he moves around slightly. He’s so cute, you think. You’ve always thought Jungkook was cute but right now there’s something so endearing about him it makes you want to peck his lips softly.
Wait, what? You want to what? That’s not allowed!
The next morning comes quickly, you lay awake in Jungkook’s arms wondering if it’s okay to stay like this all day. You admittingly feel much better compared to yesterday, breathing is much easier and your head isn’t throbbing. You feel a fondness swell in your chest as you stare at Jungkook’s soft, sleeping face and it makes you feel weird all of the sudden.
You’ve always felt this way about Jungkook, right? Wait, what way? What are you saying? Or at least, trying to say? You know though, you know what you are trying to say…it’s the same thing you’ve been trying to say since freshmen year. But saying it out loud is just different.
Confusion on how to feel clouds your mind as you stare at him, his breaths are light and airy and you feel so warm and safe in his embrace. He slightly shifts, his hips bumping into yours, lightly grinding into you. Your eyes widen as you feel his hard member bumping into your thigh and it’s not like you haven’t felt it before while the two of you slept but still, it surprises you each time.
Feeling his length twitching on your thigh is creating trouble for you, you hate that such a small act is getting you all hot. You try to scoot away but he only pulls you closer on instinct. He brings you so close that his warm breath fans over your right cheek and you want to force yourself to sleep more so you aren’t hyper aware of his dick.
“Jungkook…” you mumble, trying to free yourself from his grasp but you fail miserably.
His arms are circled around your hips and he digs his fingers into your exposed flesh from how your shirt is riding up.
“Baby…” he groans out, his hips grinding into your thigh again. His eyes are screwed shut, like he is still stuck in his dreams.
You lay here frozen, he’s called you baby a million times but this is different. He’s only ever called you baby in that tone when you two…you slam your eyes shut, trying to rid yourself of the memories.
“Jungkook, time to wake up.” You wiggle in his arms but your thigh only rubs on his dick more. He releases quiet whimpers against your ear, his lips parting in pleasure.
“Mmm…” he pants out, his hips thrusts against your thigh again.
Jungkook…dreaming?
Was it bad luck to interrupt someone’s dream? Or is this just an excuse to have him rutting against you?
“Jungkook…” your voice comes out shaky as you turn your body to face him, he groans in his sleep once more.
You’re afraid he’s going to say it. Her name. Vanessa. That’s the last thing you would want to hear…it would probably ruin your whole day so you need to wake him up.
“Jungkook….” You sound more breathy than intended. You need him to wake up so you can stop thinking about his length rubbing up on you. You flush as you feel your panties start to dampen, this cannot be happening. Why did Jungkook have to have this sort of reaction out of you?
“Mmm…” Jungkook whines quietly as he ruts himself harder onto you. His cock up against your lower belly, you start to imagine him without his black sweats on, you start to imagine him without his shirt. You hesitate to reach your hand against his hard chest, you breathe out heavily as you begin to drag your fingers down until you reach just the top of his waistband. Your eyes follow your fingers until you spot his hard erection through his sweats and you breathe erratically.
“What are you doing?” Jungkook’s husky voice interrupts your horny daze. Your eyes expand in size as you realize your position. Your eyes trail up his chest until you meet his gaze, his pupils blown out.
“Where do your hands think they’re going?”
“No—nowhere.” You stare up at him, gulping. You can’t do this with him, you are finally getting your friendship back but what is with all this tension?
Jungkook releases his hold on you, moving to his back. His arms fold underneath his head as he stares up at the ceiling.
“What were you—were you dreaming about?” your hand innocently finds its way back on his chest, resting over his beating heart.
“Uh…” Jungkook turns 3 shades of red, “I don’t remember.” His blush deepens.
“I feel like you’re lying.”
“Why would I ever lie to you?” Jungkook chuckles.
Your eyes trail down his body and you see his length still struggling with a probably painful erection.
“You have a problem?” you gesture towards his crotch.
Jungkook exhales a heavy breath, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Jesus Christ, y/n.”
“what?” you feign innocence.
“Do you really have to point out everything?”
“Only things that are super obvious.”
“Fuck.”
“You can go take care of it in the bathroom?” you kindly offer, causing him to scoff.
“I’m good.”
“I guess Vanessa usually takes care of these things, huh?”
“Seriously?”
Jungkook groans out, frustration written all over his face. He hates the mention of Vanessa especially when he was just dreaming about you. He feels wrong. They aren’t officially in a relationship but somehow it feels like cheating.
“Can we not talk about her?” Jungkook doesn’t want to be reminded of the shitty situations he’s in.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Are you feeling better?” he asks softly, he moves his body to lay on his side to face you.
“Much.” You smile, “Thanks again.”
“Ready for some more chicken soup?”
A few hours pass, you figured Jungkook would have left by now but he sits on your couch next to you while the two of you watch some new anime. He laughs every now and then at the ridiculous characters and you feel warm inside. It almost feels like how things were before, when he still lived with you.
“Yeah, it does.” He says, still facing the screen.
“Huh?”
“You said it feels like we still live together.” He points out.
Shit, you said that out loud.
Jungkook bows his head, “I am…sorry that I moved out.”
“Move back in.”
“You know I can’t do that…plus, you have Holly now.” Jungkook sits back against the sofa, “Can’t just kick her out.” He snickers.
“Just move in my room with me.” You say half joking. But also, you know, half serious.
“Ha ha y/n.”
“What? You don’t like sleeping with me?” you tease. “Speaking of…you can stay as long as you want…”
“I…I have plans tonight, actually.” Jungkook stiffens in his spot. He pulls his phone out from his pocket, “actually, I should get going soon.” He regrets saying.
“Oh, okay.”
~~~~~
It’s almost 7pm and Jungkook looks himself over in the mirror. He’s got tight, ripped jeans and a dark blue shirt tucked in, his hair is wavy against his forehead. He knows he looks good but he can’t find himself to be happy about it.
He has a date with Vanessa tonight…
Vanessa 7:04pm
Hey babe, I’m ready when you are<3
Jungkook 7:05pm
Okay, I am on my way :)
The ride over to Vanessa’s place takes about 20 minutes, he uses this time to listen to the radio and think. He asked Vanessa earlier this week on a date for both of their days off.
When he arrives to her apartment, he sends her a text that he’s here.
Vanessa walks out wearing a cute, yellow sundress. Her hair freshly trimmed and sporting bangs.
“Hi handsome.” She says as she steps inside Jungkook’s car. She leans over to place a kiss on Jungkook’s lips and as she begins to pull away he pulls her back in, his lips chasing hers for a more heated kiss.
“Hi.” He finally says, out of breath.
“What was that for?” she smirks, her skinny fingers digging into her purse to pull out her phone.
“Let me guess,” she begins scrolling through it mindlessly, “You’re desperate to get y/n out of your head?” She stops scrolling to glance his way, “Need me?”
“It’s not like that…” Jungkook groans.
“Oh? Isn’t it though?” her coy smile spreads across her face. “But you need me to forget, right?” she tilts her head to the side, “That’s what we’re here for, Jungkook. We use each other.”
Jungkook drags a hand down his face, “But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?” he sounds and looks tired, that Vanessa almost feels bad.
“We can make it work later, right now you need me.” She crawls on to Jungkook’s lap, she hikes up her dress around her waist and swivels her hips over his crotch, “Don’t you?”
“Vanessa…” he chokes out. Men are so weak, she thinks.
Her hands go to unbutton his jeans and pull out his half hard cock, she gently strokes it over and over until he is fully hard in her hand.
“Fuck,” he exhales deeply, the feeling of her tiny cold hand doing incredible things to his dick.
Vanessa slides her panties to the side and rubs his dick against her wet folds, covering his dick with her juices until she lines it up with her entrance. She releases a smooth breath as she begins to sink down on his hard cock, Jungkook gasps out of the warm feeling her tight cunt provides.
“You need me, don’t you?” her voice is smooth as silk. “But you won’t ever love me.” Vanessa rises from his cock and slams back down, repeating the motion over and over until Jungkook is panting out sweet words that mean nothing.
“You wish it was her, don’t you?” her sinister smile growing on her face, “Wish this perfect pussy was y/n’s.”
At the mention of you, Jungkook loses all composure while his dick throbs, begging for release.
“Fuck...” he whines out, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure, “y/n.”
“That’s right….” Vanessa’s wicked grin takes up her whole face now, “Fuck me like I am her.”
Jungkook shamelessly moans out your name over and over, his hips meeting hers in desperate thrusts. His eyes remain closed as he fucks into Vanessa’s cunt, only wishing and imagining it was you.
“Fuuuuck” he groans out, his fingers finding Vanessa’s clit and he rubs tight, focused circles.
Vanessa whines out, loving the feeling of his cock, his fingers and the mention of your name. it was all fucked up and nothing turned her on more.
She quickly comes undone as Jungkook continues to thrust from below, his precision becoming sloppy.
“y/n…” he grunts out with one final thrust as he comes inside Vanessa.
He keeps his eyes shut as he comes down from his high, the feeling insane.
Vanessa smirks down at him, slipping his softening cock out of her. She crawls back over to the passenger side of the car and buckles her seatbelt.
“Ready for our date.” She smiles, she digs through her purse to fetch her phone and it tapping away on it.
“Fuck…” Jungkook finally opens his eyes, realizing what the fuck he’s just done. “Vanessa…”
“It’s okay.” She says nonchalantly. “I was into it.”
“How?”
“Because I think of him every time you’ve made me come.” She peeks over her phone, her eyes shining. “So we’re even.”
~~~~~
“She lives!” You hear Adam sing as you walk into the bakery.
You look and feel much better! Totally revived from the fucking dead. You smile at your coworker and do a twirl and a curtsey just for show.
“I live!” you copy while smiling as you continue to do a few more curtseys.
Jade and Lenny walk out from the back and applaud you, you laugh at their action.
“Your oatmeal raisin guy has been in every day since you’ve been out to see if you’re okay.” Lenny brings up with a knowing smile, “Or should I call him your hero? Your savior?” he grins, stuffing his face with a sugar cookie.
“Oh shush, let’s just call him…” you begin to blush, “Yoongi.”
“Yoongi, huh?” Jade playfully elbows Adam’s side, “We’re calling him ‘Yoongi’ now!” she and Adam laugh, their teasing going straight to your head.
Yoongi is your usual customer—yes. But he’s also your…what did Lenny say? Your hero? Your savior? You cringe just thinking about it! But you cannot help but grin.
The work day goes on, you have your usual easy customers, your usual stubborn customers but no sign of Yoongi yet. He usually comes on what you are assuming is his lunch break, he must work nearby but it’s already almost closing time and he hasn’t made an appearance…not that you were looking forward to it or anything…it’s just you want to say thank you, you know, for catching you when you almost fucking fainted. A simple thank you!
You’re chillin in the back, swiping through your phone when the bell goes off at the front. Jade is the first to head towards the counter when after a moment or two she’s calling out your name. He must be here, you think. You smooth out your apron and look at your reflection from your phone screen—wait, why does it even matter? You begin walking towards the front to see Yoongi standing there with a worried expression on his face but once he sees you he smiles softly.
“You’re here.” He says.
You raise a hand, “Yup, I’m here.” You laugh, “Listen, I wanted to—”
“Are you feeling better?” he looks between you and Jade and she nods her head and walks back to the back.
“Much.”
Yoongi sighs in relief, then smirks at you.
“Then I’ll have my usual.”
You stare at him before your smile is growing on your face, you can’t believe the nerve of this guy. You like it though, you have to admit.
“Sure…Yoongi.”
Yoongi looks pleasantly surprised as he nods his head in satisfaction. You walk to the back and get him his two cookies, you bring them to him as he takes the bag from you, you put it in his order on the screen.
“Also…” you say, looking up from the screen “I really want to say thanks.”
“For?” Yoongi stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
“For helping me that day…I wanted to like, uh…”
“Wanted to like, uh…what?”
“I was wondering if I could treat you to like an ice cream or something…” you sway side to side, feeling a bit awkward.
“Are you asking me out?” Yoongi blurts out and you feel flustered as fuck, all the heat rushing to your cheeks.
“W-What? N-No—”
“Because if you are,” Yoongi takes one hand out of his pocket with his phone in his grasp, “Then I would say yes.” He slides his phone over the counter. “Number.”
You must be red as a cherry, or a tomato, or like a fire truck or whatever the fuck else is super red. You look at him and gasp, your hand coming to your mouth and you can’t help but lightly chuckle.
“Fine, I’ll give you my number…but this is just a thank you outing.” You wink, taking the phone and putting your number in.
“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself darling.” Yoongi takes his phone from you and puts it back into his jacket pocket.
“I’m free this weekend.” He sways back and forth on his heels and he laughs a bit before saying ‘Ah’ and taking out $4 and hands it to you.
“For the cookies.”
“You’re not going to inspect them?” you put the money in the register.
“I’m deciding to trust you today.”
You smile again, a real smile. Yoongi smiles back and he’s about to say something when the chime of the bell goes off and a woman and her kids make their way inside the store.
“I’ll text you.” He says before he’s turning around and heading out the door.
~~~~~
“A DATE?!” Trina and Holly yell in unison. You just told them about ice cream with Yoongi and their excitement is very evident.
“It’s not a date guys. God, how many times do I have to tell you?” you whine into the cookie you’re eating.
“It’s a thank you outing!”
“Thank you outing my ass.” Jimin frowns, “Why are you going on a date? What about Jungkook?”
You scoff, “What about him? We’re just friends, Jimin.” You defend.
“If you just come clean about every—”
“No. What good would that do?” you bite on your bottom lip, “So I can feel the lovely pain of getting rejected? He literally has a girlfriend.”
“Yeah, don’t even get me started on that shit.” Jimin complains, he takes one of the cookies from the box on the middle of the table and starts nibbling on the treat.
“But who even is this Min Yoongi guy? Is he cute?”
“Super…” you admit through a soft breath.
What? He is. He may have started out as your annoying customer but you kind of always thought he was cute.
“It’s just ice cream, you know?”
“Is it just ice cream though?” Holly intervenes, stuffing her own face with a cookie, totally ignoring the new fad diet she’s on.
“Yeah, this sounds like a good opportunity y/n.” Trina grins.
“A good opportunity?”
Jimin looks at Trina incredulously, “A good opportunity? Really Trina? Just say you hate Jungkook and move on.”
“Okay, I hate Jungkook.” She states without a problem and you frown…you don’t want her to hate him. Yeah, he hurt you but he’s…he’s not a bad guy.
“Stop guys…” you finally say, putting your half eaten cookie down. You…this isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! But…would if it is?
“Aren’t you ready to move on y/n?” Trina looks at you seriously, her hard expression almost scaring you.
“I—”
“She doesn’t have to answer that,” Jimin cuts in, “Because whatever she decides we’re on her side…right, Trina?” Jimin gives Trina a cold stare, a bite in his voice.
“Okay guys, yes let’s all just support y/n…” Holly tries saving the tension in the room.
You…tried this before already. You tried using someone to distract yourself from Jungkook, you don’t plan on using innocent Yoongi to do that again.
“It’s just a thank you outing…” you mumble, the words hard to understand by your friends. “Just saying thank you…” you bow your head, feeling sad all of the sudden.
This won’t be a repeat, will it? Taehyung number 2? You don’t think Yoongi has any ulterior motives, no not that. But do you?
“Yeah. It’s not a date.”
Jimin clasps his hands together, “Then it’s settled! Let’s change the subject.” He looks between you and Trina and Holly.
“Agreed.” Trina and Holly say at the same time, you only nod your head.
~~~~
It’s a nice Saturday evening, the breeze blows through you just right making you feel so alive. The sun is setting, giving the sky a gorgeous orange glow and you fall in love with the sight.
“How many more pictures are you going to take of the sky?” Yoongi chuckles, he walks close beside you making sure you don’t run into to like, any poles as you distractedly take photos of the beautiful sky.
“One more, one more!” you snap one last photo on your phone and slide it in your back pocket, “I have a collection of sky pictures!” you say with pride.
“I believe you.” He takes out his own phone and captures a picture of the sky too. “So we can look at the same sky.” He mumbles somewhat timidly.
You tilt your head and smile at him. You two met outside the bakery this evening so you could walk to the ice cream shop just a block away, he walks on the side next to the street while you occupy the spot walking next to all the shops.
“You know I work right around here but never been to this ice cream place you mention before.”
“Really? Where do you work?”
“The record store.”
“Ah, really? I’ve never been in.” you slow down to admire the plants outside the floral shop.
“You should come by, I think the owner would be cool with it.” He smirks.
You observe his sly smile and you wonder…
“If you say some shit like ‘It’s because I’m the owner’….” You begin, you see his sly smile grow even wider. “Oh my god, you are!”
Yoongi laughs out loud, nodding his head.
“It’s a pretty small store, but all mine.” He smiles fondly thinking over his store. “I’m serious, come check it out sometime. I mean, you like music right?”
“Am I a human being? Of course I like music!”
You both laugh while approaching the shop. Once inside, you notice how busy it is and you become afraid you two won’t find a spot to sit.
“Here, tell me what you want and I’ll go order while you find us a spot to sit, hm?” Yoongi offers, as if reading your mind.
“Oh. Okay, yeah. Sounds good.”
After circling the place for several minutes you notice a couple that was sitting at a table by the window leave so you rush to occupy the spot. You grab a napkin and wipe down the table before sitting down, you pull out your phone and scroll through social media while waiting for Yoongi to come with your ice creams.
After waiting for quite some time, Yoongi finally shows up with two ice cream cones of different flavors.
“Here.” He gives you a small smile while handing you your cone as he takes a seat across from you.
“Long line.” He gestures towards the line and smiles again.
You really like his smile, he looks genuinely happy when he does.
“You know, you kind of intimidated me at first…” you admit softly, your own smiling joining the club.
“But you seem quite soft.” You laugh, licking your ice cream.
“I get that a lot…” Yoongi groans, he looks down at the table before looking back up at you,
“I’m just kind of shy at first.”
“Shy my ass!” you lick more of your treat, “You weren’t shy complaining about the cookies I choose for you!”
Yoongi blushes at this, his laughter timid.
“The cookies you choose are fine.” He finally says, “Just had a lot of fun messing with you.” He looks up and smirks. “So,” Yoongi begins licking his ice cream again, “What do you do? Or is the bakery it?”
You internally groan. You hate this question. You have a marketing degree yet you work selling cookies.
“Uh, for now, yeah.”
“Why just for now?”
“I have a degree in marketing but…”
“Oh? Your passion lies in marketing then?” he continues to kitten lick his ice cream.
You don’t mean to scoff, but you do. You fucking do.
“Ha, passion.” You chuckle bitterly, “I hate that word.”
Yoongi raises his brows in curiosity, “Why’s that?”
“I don’t think I…” you struggle to find your words, the topic making you antsy.
“You don’t think you have a passion? Is that it?” Yoongi hits bulls fucking eye. You sigh out, finishing up your ice cream and take a bite of your cone.
“I know, that seems impossible right? Everyone has—”
“It’s okay.” He states plainly, finishing up his own ice cream. “Having a passion…a dream…you don’t have to have something like that to live a good life. Even just surviving the day is the dream.” He looks into your eyes and he shows that gummy smile you are learning to enjoy so much.
His words…you don’t really realize the impact they are leaving on you, his beautiful and wise words are exactly what you need to hear.
Yoongi continues,
“I thought I had big dreams but in the end my dream was small, it was simple. I just want to live happily. Maybe it’s the same for you, I don’t know though. I’m only now getting to know you.” His shy tone makes you feel weak.
“No, no. I think you’re right.” You admit between soft breaths. “I only pursued marketing because I knew I could find a job in the field not because I like it…I am failing miserably in interviews. All my friends are going on doing what they love and I’m just…here.”
Yoongi looks amused for a second before his soft smile returns,
“Isn’t being here enough?” he asks.
Is it? You think to yourself, is it really?
“Are you happy y/n?”
Woah, that’s a loaded question. You chew on your lips instinctively, deciding how you should answer this—if you should answer this.
“Life is a bit complicated right now.” You laugh awkwardly.
Yoongi laughs too, he nods his head in understanding.
“Even with complications, you can still find moments where you’re happy, right?”
You feel yourself becoming drawn to Yoongi’s wise and understanding nature, his words creating a warmth in you. You feel like you’re actually making a friend.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“You just gotta find the small things in life to be grateful for and eventually each small moment will add up and create big moments of happiness for you.” Yoongi smiles then stands to his feet and heads towards the trashcan to throw your trash away. While he’s gone for the few seconds he’s away, you sit back in your chair and think.
What’s complicated in your life right now? Well, you can’t find a fucking job to save your life, you’re afraid you wasted four years of college on the wrong degree—but what’s the right degree? You and Jungkook are the definition of the word ‘complicated’ and you’re afraid you’ll be stuck in unrequited love forever. But you have good friends, you like your coworkers and your job for the most part, you live in a good apartment, your parents call you regularly, you found a lady bug on a flower this morning, the list goes on!
Yoongi sits back down and folds his hands in front of him, he looks up at you with expectant eyes.
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Tell me more about you.”
You’re about to say something when realization hits you,
“How much were the ice creams?! They’re my treat, remember?” you quickly unzip your purse and pull out your wallet, fully ready to hand him some cash when he’s shaking his hands in front of him, denying you.
“No no, it’s okay, really.” Yoongi ushers you to put your wallet away, his smile brightens and you find yourself slumping in your chair in defeat.
“Fine.” You huff out dramatically.
“You can pay next time.” He looks down at his hands as he smiles to himself.
“Oh? There’s a next time?”
“Yeah, hanging out with you is fun y/n. I don’t want to just see you when I buy cookies...coming to see you is getting expensive.” He laughs into his shoulder.
“I just think you really have a cookie addiction.”
“Something like that.” He looks into your eyes for a moment before tearing them away to look back down at his hands. “Do you have any siblings?”
“Nope. But I have a lot of cousins, so it almost feels like I didn’t grow up lonely.”
“Your parents didn’t want to have any more kids?” Yoongi pries further.
“Actually, they weren’t supposed to have kids at all. I was there miracle baby, as they call it.” You laugh into your hands, “It feels ridiculous saying that out loud myself.” You laugh some more.
“Miracle baby, huh?” Yoongi teases. “Are your parents still together?”
“Hm? Oh yeah, they are.”
You parents are in a great, functioning relationship so why is it so hard for you to get into one?! “Are yours?”
“Nah, divorced.” Yoongi says with no bitter tone in his voice.
“Oh. I’m so—”
“Nah, it was for the best. Nothing dramatic happened they just weren’t meant to be.” He smiles at you and you nod your head.
You’re about to speak up again when you feel someone’s hand grip your shoulder and your name being called out. You know this voice. No, it can’t be. Jungkook.
“y/n?” He looks at you with confused eyes as he looks between you and Yoongi.
Jungkook is standing here next to your fucking table with his fucking girlfriend who is not his girlfriend, fucking Vanessa. She looks at you with a bored expression and tilts her head to the side.
“Hey.” He smiles at you but then looks at Yoongi again, “Uh, hey man. I’m Jungkook.”
Yoongi watches as you sit here with your mouth wide open, but he’s quick to shake his head and look up at Jungkook and introduce himself.
“Yoongi.”
Vanessa doesn’t waste her time in greeting anyone, she just taps her skinny little fingers on the table and whines into Jungkook’s ear about hurrying up.
“You guys wanna sit with us? There’s like no other tables.” You cannot believe your own ears as you offer that to them. Vanessa visibly frowns and rolls her to the side as Jungkook reacts just the opposite.
“Really?” his bunny grin taking over his whole face. You nod your head and gesture for him to go order his ice cream. He takes Vanessa’s hand and they head towards the line.
“Sorry for inviting them…I didn’t think.” You admit softly to Yoongi but he doesn’t seem mad. Not at all.
“A close friend of yours, I’m assuming?”
“Very.” You place some loose strands of hair behind your ear, you awkwardly laugh and begin pulling at the ends of your hairs. A nervous tick of yours, for sure.
“I see.” Yoongi smiles that fucking smile, like everything is okay. But is it? You don’t want to be in the same fucking room as Vanessa. But you’re giving her a chance for Jungkook’s sake.
“We aren’t really going to sit with them are we?” Vanessa’s smooth voice fills Jungkook’s ears as they wait in line.
“Why not? Plus she’s right, there’s like, no other tables.” Jungkook tries to reason.
“Why not? You cannot be ser—” she tilts her head, blinking at him, “Oh? You are? Also, you’re not worried about who this guy is? My Jungkookie isn’t feeling jealous is he?”
“Vanessa stop. It’s probably a friend from work or something.” He says nonchalantly.
“Maybe it’s a date.” Her silky voice annoying him.
“If it was a date why would she invite us?” he tries to reason again.
Vanessa tilts her head again and puts a finger to her lip, “Maybe she wants a foursome?”
“Stop.” Jungkook warns.
“I’m just trying to help you.”
You move to the other side of the table and sit next to Yoongi, you two bumping shoulders and you feel like a third grader with how giddy the action is making you.
“We’re here!” Jungkook announces excitedly. He lets Vanessa sit first and then he’s pulling out his own chair to sit in, right across from you.
“So Yoongi, how do you know our y/n?” Jungkook grins with all his teeth.
“I—”
“He’s a customer at work—”
“Yeah, I like to go to her bakery.”
Jungkook raises a brow, “Yeah the treats are good I guess.”
“Well, I don’t just go for the cookies.” Yoongi says, looking in your direction.
“Oh?” Jungkook sets his cup of ice cream down, “Oh.” He says again once realization hits him.
Vanessa glances up from her phone and smiles a smile that is void of all emotion at you and Yoongi, she sets the phone down and claps her hands softly a few times.
“So this is a date.”
“No—”
“Yes.”
You snap your head towards Yoongi with a shocked eyes. Did he just say this is a date? Then he’s smiling at you with apologetic eyes.
“I mean, I would like it to be.”
Your head immediately faces forward to see Jungkook’s reaction. He looks as shocked and confused as you, you begin shaking your head.
“Uh…um…” you say, your eyes still on Jungkook. He looks between you and Yoongi then he frowns. Fucking frowns!
“We can discuss that later.” You finally say, laughing awkwardly. Jungkook turns towards Vanessa and glares at her, fucking glares.
“What?” She mouths innocently, going back to her phone.
“Anyway,” you try to break the awkward tension, “I think me and Yoongi are going to head out actually.”
“We just sat down?” Jungkook looks at you with his big, stupid doe eyes and you almost want to stay but you know what’s for the best.
“I’ll walk you back to the store?” Yoongi asks from beside you.
You nod your head in agreeance, standing to your feet while Yoongi follows. Jungkook stands up too, not ready for you to leave.
“I’ll see you later?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.
You hesitate for a moment but end up nodding your head in approval.
“Uh, bye Vanessa.” You force out, your voice a little loud as you bid your farewells to her.
Vanessa continues tapping on her phone but uses one hand to wave you off.
This fucking bitch. What does Jungkook see in her? You just don’t see the appeal? Yeah, she’s gorgeous. But is that all I takes for Jungkook?
“Yeah, okay.” You roll your eyes and Jungkook looks at you sympathetically. He will scold Vanessa later.
You and Yoongi take it slow walking back to the bakery. You two walking idly, and stopping by other shops just for the fun of it.
“About what I said earlier…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Yoongi is messing with a scarf on the mannequin inside this little boutique.
“You didn’t. I was just…surprised is all.”
“Is Jungkook like, your ex-boyfriend or something?” Yoongi doesn’t waste any time apparently. “Because you guys seem to have some history.” How can he tell you have history?!
“Sorry, I’m just a really observant person.” He chuckles.
“Um, no but we were best friends but some things happened and…” you hesitate to continue, “And…”
“It’s okay. Life has complications remember? But there’s still happy moments. So, tell me what’s not complicated about you two?”
“I love him.” you blurt out. “Wait, wait. I mean. Fuck. I mean—”
“That’s normal. He was your best friend, right?”
You sigh out in relief, your deep exhale heard throughout the whole shop.
“Exactly.”
“Are you still best friends?”
“That’s the complicated part.” You breathe out, “But does he still mean the most to me? Yeah.”
“I see.” Yoongi takes the scarf and wraps it around your neck, “I had someone like that too.” He smiles. “But I was in love with them.”
You choke on your spit, what is Yoongi…is he…does he know?
“Oh.” You decide to laugh, “But that’s not the case with me and Jungkook.”
“Never said it was.” He inspects the scarf around your neck, “You should get this,” he motions towards the scarf, “It looks good on you.”
“It’s summer time!” you laugh, “But thanks.” Your phone starts buzzing, you pull it from your back pocket to get a look at it.
Jungkook 7:42pm
Hey
Jungkook 7:42pm
Wanna come over later? Nick isn’t home
Jungkook 7:42pm
I know you said no solo hang outs but I thought I would give it a shot
Does this mean he’s ending his night early with Vanessa? If so, you may throw the whole rule away about no solo hang outs. You just cannot stand her. You don’t want to say you hate her but you do hate her attitude and honestly, overall personality.
You look over to Yoongi who is messing with the material of some cardigan, and you almost feel bad if you decide to ditch him. But your night was ending anyway, right?
y/n 7:45pm
hmm, sure. I’ll be over at 9, does that work?
Jungkook 7:45pm
Yes.
You slide your phone back into your pocket and head towards Yoongi and his new cardigan that you are assuming he is buying consider how smitten he looks with it.
“It’s nice, right?” he says holding up the piece of clothing.
“Try it on!”
“Don’t forget to come by the record store sometime y/n, since you’re a human being who loves music.” Yoongi chuckles, he leans forward and you share a cute yet awkward hug.
“Bye Yoongi. I’ll def be by.”
You unlock your car and step inside, sitting down. Yoongi shuts the car door for you and smiles and waves you goodbye as he starts heading towards his own car.
Tonight was nice, weird, then nice again. You definitely won’t use Yoongi to distract yourself from Jungkook but you definitely feel like you made a friend. He gave you some words of wisdom and comfort, that you really needed to hear. You feel like Yoongi could become someone important in your life.
~~~~~
Jungkook 9:14pm
When will you be here?
y/n 9:15pm
be there in 15.
Jungkook steps out of the shower, his towel hanging dangerously low around his hips as he takes a look in his fogged up mirror.
“You can do this.” He tells himself, his teeth catching his bottom lip.
He can hang out with you like things are back to normal. He can hang out with you like you guys are still just best fucking friends. But he hasn’t seen you since you were sick, since you had your hand in a dangerous place. Since he dreamed of you while in bed with you.
He can be normal. Like he didn’t fuck Vanessa and moan out your name the entire time. He groans and cringes just remembering that. Vanessa assured him it was fine but that just makes him feel worse. He feels guilt ridden while she remains coy and sickingly sweet.
Apparently, Jungkook got lucky. But will it be this way with every girl he’s with from now on? That’s unacceptable.
Soft knocking can be heard from the front door and a chime from his phone goes off. You must be here, he thinks.
He doesn’t have time to dress so he decided to say fuck it and open the door this way, it’s not like you haven’t seen this view before…you lived together.
He approaches the door, taking a long, deep breath before he’s swinging it open and letting you in.
You’re wearing leggings and one of his t shirts, his chest tightens at the sight. Jungkook quickly apologizes for not being dressed and you nod your head slowly, taking in his more than half naked appearance.
You flush at the sight, his towel doing barely anything to cover the outline of his length, and shit, the towel is short on him…his monstrous thighs flexing underneath. Your mouth waters as you shamelessly eye him up and down.
“Yeah…” you choke out, “Probably should get dressed…”
You make yourself comfortable on the sofa in the living room, some random movie is on TV and you mindlessly watch.
“Sorry about that” Jungkook laughs. He walks to the sofa, sitting beside you but with enough space. “You got here sooner than I thought.”
“Well, I live pretty close.” You point out, your face angled towards him. “So what’s up?” “Nothing, I just wanted to see you.” Jungkook eyes light up, “Oh! I have wine!”
You nod approvingly, “Now we’re talkin’ baby.”
Jungkook rushes to the kitchen to find two wine glasses and fills them to the brim, he walks back to the sofa and hands you a glass.
“I know you said no one on one hang outs but thanks for coming.”
“I’ll make an exception this time” you wink, bringing the glass to your lips. You nod at one another as each of you take a generous gulp.
“Aaahhh, alcohol.” You say in unison. Then you look at one another and burst into a giggle.
“How were your plans?” you pry. You set the glass down between your thighs as you move your body to face him, giving him your full attention.
“Uh…” Jungkook doesn’t know what to say.
“It’s just…” the words die on his tongue. He sends them to the graveyard as he sits back on the sofa and shuts his pretty mouth.
“You guys didn’t have fun?” you pry further. You want to know, for some reason you want to know what him and Vanessa were up to.
“Did you guys like, hang out after the ice cream place?”
“Not really…we…kind of hung out but it was quick.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck.
“A quickie, huh?” you joke, but you wonder if that’s what it really was.
“y/n.” he warns, his hands go to massage his exposed thighs, his shorts doing little to cover all his muscles.
“I’d kill myself for a quickie, it’s been so long.” You decide to be honest, you’re trying to be like normal friends again.
Jungkook’s brows crease as he looks at you, “Don’t say stuff like that.”
“Right, sorry.” You pat his shoulder, “But really, it’s been forever.” You say again.
“Um, when was the last—”
“Taehyung.”
Jungkook’s frown deepens, “When’s the last time you spoke to him?”
“Maybe a week ago? He sends me texts occasionally.”
“You talk to him?!” Jungkook howls out, his hands gripping his shorts.
“It’s more like he talks to me.” You chuckle. “What about you? When is the last time you talked to him?”
“Umm…”
“What?”
“About a day after you told me everything.” Jungkook’s eyes slide to the side, a look of guilt plastered on his face.
“You went and talked to him after?” the shock is evident in your voice.
“Something like that…” Jungkook scratches the top of his head, deciding if he should tell you the truth. He decides to be honest.
“I went over there to kick his ass.”
“Jungkook!” you blink at him repeatedly, until you’re snorting. “And how did that go?”
“Gave him a black eye.”
“And you?”
“Got a busted lip from it.” He admits, even though you can tell he didn’t want to say that last part.
“Fighting is never the answer.”
“He deserved it, y/n.”
“And did you deserve the busted lip?”
“Yeah.”
You weren’t expecting him to agree with that so quickly, you were just joking around. You realize Jungkook is probably still trying to forgive himself, like he once told you.
“Well, everything’s okay now right?”
“Is it y/n?” he doesn’t look at you. He only stares straight ahead.
“Jung—”
“I am still so sorry…” Jungkook exhales deeply, his hand finds its way to yours.
You tangle your fingers through his, until they’re interlocked.
“I know, Jungkook.”
“I’m trying so hard to…” Jungkook faces you, his frown making you wince. “…make this right.”
“I know, Jungkook.”
“I’m trying to…” he chokes on his words, his breathing becoming slightly unsteady, “…work this out.”
“Jungkook—”
“I’m trying.”
His palm in your hand becomes so sweaty and you almost want to detangle so you can wipe your hand on your yoga pants. But you keep holding on to his hand, his guilt very apparent to you right now.
You scoot closer to him until your knees are touching, you place yours and Jungkook’s hands in your lap.
“And we’re making it work, we’re taking it slow.”
“It almost feels like our friendship has started over y/n.” Jungkook’s voice cracks, “Like, I don’t remember how to be like we use to be…”
“I told you Jungkook, things probably wouldn’t be the same.” You squeeze his hand in yours, “But that’s okay. We…”
Jungkook looks at you with his doe eyes and you want to melt. You want to melt into a puddle on the floor.
“It may not be the same but could it be better this time around?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.
“I hope so baby.” Your other hand reaches forward and caresses Jungkook’s cheek and he leans into your touch, he breathes out, his breaths hitting your palm and you feel yourself getting hotter.
“You rarely call me baby.” Jungkook whispers. “Only time you really did is when we—”
“When we what, Jungkook?” you challenge, your hard stare making him shiver.
“I don’t have to say it.” He says. “Look, wanna get fucking wasted?”
You look at him for a few moments, just staring into his eyes before you crack a smile.
“I dare you to chug your entire glass of wine.” You point at the wine glass with your chin.
“Only if you chug yours.” Jungkook winks.
“Wow, aren’t we some classy bitches?” you joke.
You both clink your glasses together and begin chugging the wine back, the bitter flavor making you wanna puke but you handle it just fine.
“Phew, that was something” you say, trying not to throw up. “wow I am not young anymore, or what?”
“Yup, you’re an old lady. I chugged it like a champ.” Jungkook grins, setting his glass on the table in front of the couch.
“If we aren’t tipsy within the next 5 minutes I am punching someone.”
“I’m starting to wish Nick was home now, I don’t want to fall victim to your fists of fury.”
After several more glasses of wine has been drank, you find yourself snuggling close to Jungkook on the sofa.
“I thought you said no affection.” Jungkook slurs out, teasing you.
“Oh? Should I move away?”
Jungkook pulls you by the arm, making your body fall forward into his side. Closer and closer.
“Never.” Jungkook lays his head on top of yours. “Wanna go lay in bed? More comfortable.”
“Yes yes, sleep over.” You cheer drunkenly. Jungkook stands up and helps you to your feet as well. You fall forward into his arms and he has to half carry you to his room.
Jungkook has the same blue comforter on his bed and it brings you back to a million memories. You wonder how many times Vanessa has been tangled up in this blanket? You don’t even want to ask Jungkook if the sheets are clean…you don’t want to think about him with her.
“Come lay with me.” You slur out as you slip between the sheets. “I want to cuddle.”
“Coming, just gonna grab some water for us.”
“Kay” you respond lazily.
You look around Jungkook’s room, it looks exactly as his last room in the apartment you two shared. Somehow that makes you happy, like not much has changed.
“Okay, drink this.” Jungkook is nudging a glass of water between your lips but you refuse.
“Mm mm.” you shake your head.
“Be a good girl for me.” Jungkook says in a low voice, you blink up at him, opening your mouth to drink the water.
“Good.”
He sets the water down on the nightstand and sinks into bed with you, leaving the lamp on so there’s a nice, warm glow lighting up the room. You immediately snuggle close, your head nuzzling his chest.
“So…was that a date tonight?” Jungkook finds the drunken balls to ask you, finally.
“No.” you answer honestly. “But it could turn out that way.”
You don’t know why you say that. Maybe in hopes to make Jungkook jealous? But why would he be jealous?
“How so?”
“He’s a nice guy.”
“Pshh, I’ll be the judge of that.”
“He is, Jungkook.”
“So you give any nice guy a chance?” Jungkook slurs out. “I can be nice…” he says, barely above a whisper.
“Tell me 3 nice things then.” Your hand lays rest over his stomach, you rub circles on it and he sighs out.
“You’re…” Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip as he thinks, “Really beautiful.” He turns to lay on his side to face you. “Really smart.” His breaths are mingling with your own. “And really funny.”
“What generic answers.” You laugh. “But I’ll take them” you look up into his eyes, they’re dark and beautiful. “Should I compliment you too?” you ask, your drunk mind giving you confidence.
“Yes please.”
“You’re really, like really fun to be with.” Your fingers brush some of his hair out of his eyes, “You make me laugh a lot. And I think you’re really sexy.” You chuckle.
“Sexy?” he slurs out, licking his lips over and over as he watches you nod your head.
“Yeah.” Your hand goes back to his stomach, your fingers go under his shirt, brushing your fingers over his sensitive skin and he releases a long breath as he slowly closes his eyes.
“y/n…” Jungkook whines out quietly, his erratic breaths not going unnoticed by you.
“You like being touched by me?” you whisper.
“Yes.”
You know you are both too drunk right now but you cannot help but continue.
Your fingers dip lower, caressing his lower belly, your touch so light he almost doesn’t feel it. But he does feel it. He feels it.
That same hand crawls up his chest and goes behind his head, gripping a handful of hair and slightly tugging his locks, Jungkook whimpers at the feeling.
Jungkook’s hips rut forward and you feel yourself getting hotter. Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut when you tug his hair again, this time pulling his head back to expose his throat.
Your other hand reaches up and with your pointer finger you drag it from his lips down his throat until you reach his collar bones then you slowly, very slowy drag that same finger down his chest and his toned stomach.
Jungkook tries to steady his breathing but he can’t. Your own breathing not much better. You decide to retreat both hands back to your sides when Jungkook’s eyes shoot open.
He looks down at you, his eyes dark and dreamy.
“You think you can just tease me like that?” Jungkook’s voice is the lowest you’ve heard it. “Huh, y/n?”
Your name slips past his lips in a low, seductive tone and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs together. You’re drunk, you keep reminding yourself. You should stop this. But—
“What are you going to do about it Jeon?”
Jungkook glares at you before he’s smirking, his hands circle around your waist and he pulls you into his body, your chest flush against his. You feel his hard length against your stomach and you swear right then and there you become undeniably wet.
Jungkook just stares at you, stares into your eyes, stares at your lips until he’s breathing so erratically. Your harsh breaths hit his skin and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours. Your lips so close yet so far.
“We’re drunk.” He slurs out, but there is amusement in his voice.
“Drunk people do things they’re not supposed to all the time.” You tease.
Jungkook’s go from your waist to your hips real quick, he pulls them closer to his crotch. You feel how hard he is at your center and you want to moan out right then and there. The clothed contact feels so fucking good.
“Jung—”
Jungkook desperately brings you in close, his lips connecting with yours. His mouth is warm and moving against yours messily and aggressively. You pause the kiss to moan but then dive right back in. He ruts his hips forward, you feel how desperate he is and you find yourself grinding your hips into his. The pleasure on a whole other level, his clothed cock rubbing against you so deliciously.
His tongue finds its way into your mouth, he plays with your tongue, tangling them together. You continue to moan out, your hands exploring the front of his body until you hand finds its way back into his hair. You know he loves to have his hair pulled, you do. You tug it gently at first, he disconnects his mouth from yours to groan out. Then you’re pulling it a little harder and he’s rutting against you faster. He guides your head to expose your neck to him and he begins sucking bruises, leaving his pretty art work behind.
“y/n.” your name gets dragged out between his teeth and you swear you become even wetter. You yank his head forward until his lips are on yours again, you kiss him over and over until he’s begging to be touched.
But you don’t touch him, no. You just continue to kiss him, like your life depends on it. Your lips move from his mouth to his neck, you suck on his skin as he whimpers out.
Jungkook’s hands grab a hold of your ass, grinding you closer into his crotch and you moan at the feeling. You never knew this much action with clothes on could feel so fucking good.
“Love this ass.” He massages your cheeks and gives them a light spank. You whisper his name over and over, your lips attacking his neck again. You two move desperately against one another, he finds your lips again and kisses you wet and sloppy and you couldn’t be more turned on.
And next thing you know the sun is making its way through his blinds and it’s morning. You’re dead asleep in Jungkook’s arms. The boy snoozing away as well. You two completely oblivious to last night’s adventures.
You begin to open your eyes, taking in your surroundings. That’s right, you’re in Jungkook’s room. You look all around the room until your eyes land on him. You smile softly until you see it. A purple bruise blooming on his neck…several in fact. And last night’s events hit you like a fucking train.
You quickly sit up in bed, panic filling your body when Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep, your action waking him up. He opens his own eyes and sees you staring down at him.
He notices his own evidence of his attack on your neck and goes pale. Then he says the words you’ve been thinking.
“Oh fuck.”
760 notes · View notes
hartigays · 3 years ago
Note
big brain thot: wheezie being the one to get rafebarry together👀👀
“wheeze, you can’t just show up here like this.”
she hasn’t even gotten off her bicycle yet, helmet still in place and everything. she looks up at rafe with big eyes, rolling them as slowly and dramatically as humanly possible.
“i just did,” wheezie points out, unclipping her helmet and setting it in the front basket of her bike.
rafe eyes her warily, then relaxes a bit. his eyes flicker back towards the trailer. “how’d you even know i’d be here?”
“topper,” she tells him simply, shrugging.
“topper?”
another overly-dramatic eye roll. “yes, topper. he came by looking for sarah and i asked him if he knew where you were. i need help with something.”
“and topper told you i’d be here?” rafe asks, brows raised.
topper is a lot of things, but is he the type of person to send a kid to a coke dealer’s trailer? no, absolutely not.
“i encouraged him,” wheezie replies, a little too vague for rafe’s liking. he narrows his eyes and she sighs. “fine, i kicked him in the crotch until he gave it up. happy?”
rafe snorts at the mental image.
wheezie finally climbs off her bike, standing in front of rafe with her arms crossed. “so, are you going to help me or not?”
he really doesn’t want to say yes. but he’s sort of always had a soft spot for wheezie - she’s one of two people who don’t make him feel completely homicidal.
(the other is sitting back in the trailer, smoking a joint and watching some boxing match on his old as shit tv. the thing has antennas, for fuck’s sake.)
rafe glances back at the trailer again, then turns back to wheezie, scrubbing a hand over his face. “fine. but you can’t come inside, wheeze, i’m serious.”
“why, because of drugs?” wheezie snorts, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “please. i’m pretty sure you smoked weed in my room when i was like, five.”
“that’s not the point,” rafe huffs, his fuse shortening ever-so-slightly. “just tell me what you want.”
for the first time since her arrival, wheezie looks mildly uncomfortable. she bites her lip, looking towards the treeline.
“i want to learn how to fight,” she says, and her voice sounds so small that rafe sort of feels… bad.
which is like a new milestone or whatever, so this is sort of a big moment for him.
“why do you need to learn how to fight?”
wheezie doesn’t say anything for a long stretch. then, her cheeks get red, and the words burst out of her. “i’m getting picked on at school, alright? this girl keeps saying she’s going to beat me up after class and i can only hide from her for so long, you know?”
rafe is mildly taken aback, never figuring wheezie for the type to get bullied. she always seemed self-assured and well adjusted, with a sizable group of friends and an active social life. for a middle schooler, anyway.
“what’s her name?” rafe asks, indignant on his sister’s behalf.
if he had to choose a sister to be the target of bullying, it’d definitely be sarah. wheezie, on the other hand, is just a kid. and if someone is threatening to kick her ass, rafe sure as hell is going to find out who.
“i’m not telling you her name, rafe,” wheezie says. “i don’t want you going and knocking her door down to threaten her or whatever. i want you to teach me how to fight so i can hold my own.”
rafe would probably just kill the kid, not threaten her, whoever she is. but he doesn’t tell this to wheezie, biting his tongue for once.
he rocks back on his heels, then sighs, and beckons for wheezie to follow him into the trailer.
wheezie throws her arms up as if to say fucking finally, following rafe inside.
barry is still smoking on the couch, but when he sees wheezie trailing after rafe, he has the presence of mind to put the joint out with an awkward cough.
“you gonna tell me who your little friend is, country club?”
“i’m his sister, wheezie,” she says before rafe can speak, rolling her shoulders back and holding barry’s gaze steadily.
“wheezie?” barry repeats, then laughs, wagging his finger in her direction. “you funny, kid.”
wheezie gives rafe a look, clearly judging him for his choice of company.
“jury’s still out on you,” wheezie tells barry, eyeing him.
barry actually throws his head back when he laughs this time, and rafe can’t help but eye the line of his throat, his mouth going a little dry.
the worst part is, wheezie notices him staring. she raises a brow at rafe. he just coughs and looks away, regretting every decision he’s made in the last ten minutes.
“look, she wants to learn how to fight,” rafe tells barry. “i figured two heads would be better than one?”
“or you just a pussy and know you can’t beat nobody’s ass, rafe,” barry says, reclining back on the sofa, staring at him through heavily-lidded eyes.
“neither can you,” rafe reminds him.
always reminding him. where rafe has failed, barry has too. rather consistently, as a matter of fact.
“fair ‘nough,” barry says after a stretch, leaning forward again. “two heads, then.”
wheezie coughs, and they both turn to look at her. she gives them a bored look. “are you two done having a moment? or do you still need a minute? because i can step outside if- ”
“shut up, wheeze,” rafe groans, pushing her towards the couch.
they spend the next hour and a half discussing fighting techniques, and the cardinal rules of fighting. the ones rafe and barry abide by, anyway.
there aren’t many. they spend the majority of the time discussing technique.
when wheezie gets sick of listening to them yammer on about the different types of headlocks, she starts to get restless.
“oh my god, i didn’t come for the rules of fight club, alright? will one of you just show me how to punch this bitch in the face?”
both barry and rafe shut up immediately, barry’s mouth dropping open in mild surprise.
rafe just snorts, mumbling fair enough under his breath.
and that’s how rafe ends up watching barry do some sort of shadow boxing with wheezie in the living room. rafe re-lights the joint, watching the scene before him in amusement.
“no, kid, you ain’t gotta do all that fancy shit with your legs,” barry is saying at one point, then demonstrates some sort of kick for her.
rafe forgets sometimes that barry has military training, and despite the fact that he gets his ass beat on a regular basis, he’s a pretty damn good teacher.
the joint is long gone by the time wheezie looks at her watch, cursing.
“shit. rose is gonna kill me,” wheezie mutters, fumbling for her phone.
“just tell her you’re staying at a friend’s,” rafe suggests. “it’s too dark for you to bike back anyway.”
“you could always drive me, you know,” wheezie reminds him. then, her eyes flicker down to what’s left of the joint (basically, the filter) and backtracks. “well, he could.”
she’s pointing at barry, and barry shrugs.
rafe, however, finds himself wanting wheezie to stay. dare he say it, he might’ve actually missed his sister.
he’s pretty sure he’ll regret it later, but regardless he says, “we’ll get you something to eat and you can crash here if you’re too tired to go home after.”
something to eat ends up being freezer-burnt pizza rolls, but wheezie doesn’t complain. she eats her food while scrolling through her phone, glancing up at rafe and barry every now and then.
they’re conversing quietly about a drug deal they have set up later, a big one. rafe doesn’t think wheezie is listening, but he also doesn’t notice the way she keeps glancing up at them, her eyes flickering between them with an unreadable look on her face.
and then, out of nowhere, “are you guys dating?”
rafe looks at her sharply and he sees barry do the same out of the corner of his eye. barry’s mouth had shut so quickly that his teeth clacked together, and rafe can see him rubbing at his jaw.
“what the hell, wheeze?”
wheezie raises her hands in mock-surrender, but still rolls her eyes. “it’s just a question, geez. but thanks for the answer.”
“the fuck is she talkin’ about?” barry asks, his gaze flickering between rafe and wheezie.
“you two,” wheezie explains slowly, looking almost bored. again. rafe is starting to think he’s had a bad influence on her. “you’re dating, right? like that’s why you’re always here, right?”
the latter question is directed towards rafe, and he feels his stupid cheeks betray him, burning red.
“oh, right. you’re men, of course you haven’t talked about it,” wheezie sighs, then stands up and brushes invisible crumbs off her shorts. “well, i conveniently have to use the bathroom, so. use this time wisely, i guess?”
then wheezie disappears from the small kitchen, leaving rafe and barry sitting in thick, palpable silence.
“so… what the fuck just happened?” rafe asks when he can’t take the uncomfortable silence any longer, pointedly not looking at barry.
when barry shifts in his seat, rafe can feel it, and he realizes all at once just how close they’re sitting.
“she thinks… “ barry trails off, shifting in his seat again.
“that we’re dating,” rafe finishes, swallowing around the golf ball-sized lump that has mysteriously appeared in his throat.
rafe can feel barry looking at him. he can feel the heat of his gaze, and wow, wheezie is taking a really long time in the bathroom.
“that what we been doing, country club?” barry asks, and rafe looks over at him so quickly that his neck pops.
rafe searches barry’s face for any trace of humor, but comes up empty.
they’ve been practically living together for months, ever since rafe gave up trying to please ward and joined barry’s little side business. and if he really thinks about it, they have lapsed into something almost nauseatingly domestic.
it’s like. like rafe’s been in this weird, fucked up relationship this whole time, and he’s just now realizing it. and realizing, at the same time, that he doesn’t want it to end now that wheezie has gutted them both and laid everything out in the open, where neither of them can hide.
jesus fucking christ, is he in love with barry? barry the drug dealer?
well, rafe supposes that’s what he would call himself now, too, so. maybe it makes some sort of sense after all.
“i don’t think so, but i think we should now,” rafe finally says. he doesn’t know why he says that last bit, it just sort of slips out before he realizes what he’s saying.
but he doesn’t take it back either.
barry is too quiet next to him. the silence goes on for far too long, and rafe is starting to debate internally whether or not he should dump wheezie’s body in the swamp or somewhere off shore.
finally, barry speaks. “startin’ to think you may be onto somethin’, rafe cameron.”
“so is that a yes?” rafe huffs, already feeling exposed enough as it is. he doesn’t need barry speaking in shades of gray.
suddenly, there are fingers wrapping around his jaw, gentler than rafe would’ve anticipated, and then barry is turning rafe’s head and kissing him.
like, really kissing him. rafe feels like he’s being turned inside out, his insides shifting and adjusting, rearranging and adapting to make room for barry.
it’s not a particularly long kiss, but it’s sure as hell the best one rafe has experienced in his life.
“they teach you that in the army?” rafe asks when barry pulls away, aiming for nonchalant but failing due to the heavy rise and fall of his chest. and the fact that he can’t stop staring at barry’s mouth.
barry just smacks the back of rafe’s head, shoving him lightly. “get the fuck out my kitchen, country club.”
rafe is about to respond when the bathroom door opens, and wheezie pokes her head out.
“ugh, thank god you’re finally done. you should invest in a bathroom fan, you know,” wheezie tells barry, “i could literally hear everything.”
she shudders and gags, barry laughs, and rafe vaults himself out the nearest window.
well, he tries to. barry catches him by the waist easily, dragging him back into his seat. wheezie just rolls her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“okay, well, since you’re done being a drama queen, i think i’d like that ride home now.”
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five-rivers · 4 years ago
Text
Solutions to Nonlinear Equations
For @currentlylurking for the Phic Phight.  :)
.
“Ancients, Vlad.  I’m not rejecting you because I’m a rebellious teenager and you’re an adult, I’m rejecting you because you’re incredibly creepy.”
Vlad sniffed in what he hoped was an aristocratic manner and raised an eyebrow, minutely adjusting his grip on Daniel to keep him pinned to the floor.  
“We’re human-ghost hybrids, Daniel.  I’d hoped that you’d have realized by now that we are meant to be ‘creepy.’”
Daniel squirmed and began to mutter into the carpet. “Clockwork never acts like this, I’m fine with him—”
Vlad pulled back as if burned.  He hadn’t heard that name in—in—
In a long time.  
Years.  
The thought was almost expelled from his head when Daniel managed to elbow him in the jaw hard enough to make him see stars. Before he knew it, Daniel had slipped from his grasp and zoomed away.  
Whatever aspersions Vlad cast on Daniel’s mastery of his ghostly abilities, the boy was fast.  When he put his mind to escaping instead of picking a fight, he managed it more often than not, to Vlad’s great frustration.  Hence Vlad’s usual strategy of needling the younger half-ghost until fighting was the only thing on Daniel’s mind.  
He set down on a nearby roof.  There went his plans for the day.  Which, admittedly, had consisted of distracting Daniel while his ghostly minions set up a nasty surprise for him at the school, hence making him fail his test, which would, in turn, convince Maddie and Jack to let Vlad set Daniel up with a tutor, something he had suggested to them earlier, and—
Well.  Daniel would find them, now, no doubt.  
Ah, well.  
He had more important things on his mind, now.  Such as, how in two worlds did Daniel know Clockwork?  Because Daniel never just said things like that.  He barely knew anything about ghost culture.  He wouldn’t know to bring up obscure, secretive, ghost historical figures.  He wouldn’t know what that particular name would mean to Vlad.  
Tongues of fire flared out of his fingers, bringing a measure of stability to the gyrations of his core and his emotions.  
Daniel knew Clockwork.  And, it seemed, met him with some regularity.  Enough for him to compare his actions to Vlad’s.  
Would that ghost never be satisfied with ruining Vlad’s life?  Was he not satisfied with—
He cut off the thought, shaking his head.  Never mind that.  
What Vlad needed to do was find Clockwork.  Which meant inducing Danny to go to him at a time when Vlad when Vlad could follow.  Which meant determining when he had visited Clockwork in the past.  An undertaking to be sure.  
He closed his eyes and teleported to his lab beneath his mansion.  
“Maddie!” he called out, even before his body had fully reformed.  
The hologram flickered to life with a faint crackled from the projector.  “What is it, sugarpie?” it asked with a smile.
“Review the audio recordings from Fentonworks,” ordered Vlad.  “Search for the term ‘Clockwork.’  Report findings to me.”
“Sure thing, honey!”
Vlad had to review the cheerfulness settings on the Maddie program.  Maddie was upbeat, but not that upbeat.  This was almost sickly sweet.  
He threw himself into a nearby chair.  
Clockwork.  He thought he’d never hear that name again.  Not after he’d been literally and figuratively ghosted by him.  
He telekinetically pulled a book off his shelf. He ran his fingers over the leather tooling on the cover.  The book had been given to him by Clockwork, years ago, when he was still in that hospital.
Clockwork had been the one to first show him the Ghost Zone, and all the wonders in it.  Clockwork had been his friend, his only friend, through that long, agonizing hospital stay. He had been supportive, wonderful, kind. He visited often, though not on a regular schedule.  He’d helped Vlad ride out the waves of misery and anger that so often threatened to overwhelm him.  
Then, without warning, nothing.  
No goodbye.  The last time he left, he had even said something along the lines of ‘see you soon,’ although the memory was frayed from age and Vlad could no longer recall the exact words.  For a long time, Vlad had worried something disastrous had happened to Clockwork. But then he had finally managed to build his own portal, reach the Ghost Zone under his own power, and, according to every search he did, every line of inquiry that bore fruit, Clockwork was just fine.  
Vlad had been furious.  He had been betrayed.  He had spent the better half of a decade trying to plot revenge against Clockwork, before realizing that was akin to plotting revenge against a god and turning his sights to a more manageable target.  
Now…
Now, Vlad just wanted answers.  Both as to the reason behind his abandonment and as to why Clockwork was apparently repeating history with Daniel.  
“Sweetie pie,” said the hologram, with a chime, “audio processing complete.  There are over ninety-nine instances where the word ‘clockwork’ is mentioned.  Would you like to play the selected files?”
“Yes,” said Vlad.  “Include the video portions where available, and the thirty seconds immediately prior to and following the mention.”
He turned his attention to the nearest screen.  He had a lot of videos to watch.  
There was an envelope pinned to it.  It was sealed with wax, impressed with the image of a pocket watch and the initials CW.  Vlad attempted, and failed, to suppress the growl that grew in the back of his throat. Was this a joke to Clockwork?
He tore the envelope from the screen, ripped it open with equal viciousness, and began to read.
.
Three cups sat on the tea service tray next to the teapot.
“Are you expecting someone else,” asked Danny, “or am I going to break one of these?”
Clockwork chuckled as he began to pour the tea.  “The former,” he said.  “Although you may always surprise me with the latter.”
He handed Danny his cup.  Danny inhaled deeply.  It smelled sweet.  “What is it?” he asked.  
“A chamomile blend,” said Clockwork.  “For calm.”
“I think Sam drinks chamomile before she goes to bed,” observed Danny, offhandedly.  “Who’s coming?”
“You’ll see soon enough.”
Danny made a face.  “Do you have to be mysterious all—”
The front door of Clockwork’s lair slammed open, and Danny jolted forward in alarm – the only people who regularly did that were the Observants, who didn’t much care for Danny – but Clockwork put a steadying hand on his shoulder and rewound his tea into his cup.
“Clockwork!” came the expected yell.  The yeller, however…
“Is that Vlad?” asked Danny, not quite scandalized, but more than a little surprised.  
“Why, yes,” said Clockwork.  
“Did you – Clockwork, did you invite him here?”
“Other than the Observants,” said Clockwork, “no one can enter unless I will it.”  He took a sip of his tea.  
“But,” started Danny.  
Clockwork raised a hand.  “Don’t worry, he’ll find us soon enough.”  He repurposed the hand to pat Danny’s knee.  “And even should he prove to be in a combative mood, I will not allow you to come to harm.  You are safe here, Daniel.”
“Thanks,” mumbled Danny, looking away, towards the door in the sitting room through which Vlad would presumably enter.  
Sure enough, a few seconds later Vlad half-flew half-skidded into Clockwork’s sitting room.  He leveled an accusatory finger at Clockwork.  “You!” he proclaimed, with a great deal of venom.  
“Hello, Vladimir, I’ve poured you some tea.  Why don’t you sit down?  I understand it has been some time.”
“You under-?  No!  I will not sit down!  I will not drink your tea.  Not after you abandoned me for over a decade, just like that bumbling oaf—”
“Hey!” interjected Danny, not only because Vlad had once again insulted his father, but because he could tell that Clockwork, regardless of his stoic façade, was actually quite upset.  
“Don’t interrupt me, Daniel,” snapped Vlad.  “You don’t know what this, this ghost is. What he does.  You don’t know that he gets close to you, makes you think you’re friends, and then drops you without a moment’s notice.  Did you think it was funny to string along a man in dire straits? Did you?”
“I did not abandon you, Vladimir, I—”
Vlad scoffed and went on a tirade that Danny honestly found hard to parse.  But it sounded like Vlad and Clockwork had known each other in the past and then fallen out of contact in a way that aggravated Vlad’s abandonment issues.  Which didn’t seem like Clockwork at all, but Vlad sounded extremely certain and insistent, and Clockwork’s upset was actually finding its way into his voice, now.  Danny didn’t—
With all the force and abruptness of epiphany, Danny realized what was going on here.  
“Wait, wait, wait,” said Danny, putting down his cup. “Vlad, breathe or whatever.  Clockwork, you did tell Vlad that you experience time nonlinearly, right?”
“Of course,” said Clockwork, clearly offended.
“But Vlad, ah, had you gone through natural portals often when you met Clockwork?  Or, like, did you ever see him without him initiating contact?”
“I didn’t have my portal built yet, Daniel, so, no.”
Danny turned to Clockwork.  “Why did you-?  No that doesn’t matter.  Haaauuuhh, Clockwork, do you have-?”
Clockwork waved a hand and a whiteboard appeared.  
“Thanks,” said Danny, picking a marker up from the little shelf on the bottom.  He uncapped it, then recapped it.  “Actually, before that.  Vlad—” he pointed at Vlad, who looked about one second from exploding “—you have some idea of how old Clockwork is, right?  Or at least how old ghosts can get?”
“Yes, Daniel,” said Vlad, managing to overlay his supercilious ‘I know better than you’ attitude over his still obvious anger.
“Okay, great.  So, just to establish, Clockwork has been around at least since, uh, beginning of time?”
“Give or take,” agreed Clockwork.  “Although I have not experienced it all directly.”
“Right,” said Danny.  “Just, already, his perception of time is different from our because of age differences.”
Vlad looked slightly less angry, and slightly closer to curious.  
“But, then, there’s the larger issue,” continued Danny.  This time his uncapping of the marker was decisive.  He drew a flat, straight, horizontal line across the whiteboard.  “This is our timeline.  We deal with time linearly.  We’ve also got, I don’t know, parallel timelines, like this.”  He drew several more lines.  “You following so far?”
“Yes, Daniel, I’ve read my share of science fiction.”
He was probably rolling his eyes.  Curse his solid-colored red eyes.  It made interpreting his looks and figuring out where he was looking during a fight much more difficult.  
“Anyway, Clockwork isn’t on any of these lines. Because he experiences time nonlinearly.”  He drew a squiggly up and down line on the board that resembled the world’s saddest sine wave.  Or cosine wave.  There wasn’t a y-axis on the not-quite-graph, so it wasn’t like anyone could tell the difference.  They were effectively the same.  
And Vlad still made fun of him for failing math. Danny knew plenty about math.  He just didn’t have time to do the work.  Mostly because of Vlad.  
“Now, that, that is Clockwork’s timeline.  It isn’t always in contact with ours.  It’s, like, solutions to a system of equations. Nonlinear equations,” he specified, in case it had been too long since Vlad had encountered basic high-school-level algebra.
“It is somewhat more complicated than that, Daniel,” said Clockwork, exasperated.  “It’s more of—"  
“Yeah, but this gets the idea across more than the whole parade metaphor, doesn’t it?”
“I would say not.  This doesn’t even begin to touch on my abilities.”
“That’s because we’re just talking about your perception of time,” said Danny.  He considered for a moment.  “And also your ability to interact with our timeline.”
“Which includes my ability to perceive multiple timelines.”
“But that’s complicated, and I still don’t get it,” complained Danny.  
“It is less complicated than what you are currently trying to explain.”
“To you maybe, but the whole point of this is that you aren’t seeing things the same way we are.  You disappeared on Vlad, what, a decade ago?”  He looked to Vlad for confirmation.  
“A decade is hardly any time at all,” said Clockwork with exasperation.  He sipped at his tea.  
“It was fifteen years.”
Clockwork made a somewhat dismissive motion with a gloved hand.  “It’s a tiny fraction of your life as a whole.”
“It’s… closer to a third of his current lifetime,” said Danny with a wince.  “Or a fourth?  I don’t know how old you are, dude.”
“I went to college with your parents.”
“I know, and you were already graying then. Your age is weirdly hard to place.”
Vlad gave Danny a look, but his body language was no longer screaming ‘I’m going to beat the snot after you.’  Danny counted that as a win under the current circumstances.  He disliked Vlad, but in a fight with Clockwork… Well, Clockwork could demolish just about anyone.  
Not that Clockwork would.  Just that he could.  
“Daniel—”
“Please, Vladimir.  Just sit down.  Try the tea. I made it for you.  I knew you would be upset, although I could not see exactly why.”  Clockwork was almost pouting, now.  “Fifteen years is such a short time.”
“Clockwork, I’m fifteen.”
“I know,” said Clockwork, patting Danny on the knee. “Your timeline is so small.  And cute.”
Vlad was now distinctly on his back foot, offput and disarmed.  “His timeline is cute?”
“It is.  Don’t worry, yours is almost as cute.”
Vlad opened and closed his mouth like a dying fish. Danny pushed the whiteboard away.
“Don’t worry about it too much,” he said.  “Like I said, different perception of time.”
“I really didn’t mean to make you feel abandoned, Vladimir.  I simply wanted to give you some time to, ah, how should I put this?  Have space?  Find yourself?”
Vlad sat heavily on the couch.  
“You get used to it,” said Danny.  “But, Clockwork, do you think you can talk him into having fewer evil plans?  Because, really.  There are way too many.  Like, one a week.  They’re destroying my grades.  Have you ever seen anyone else who had weekly evil plans?”
“Evil plans, Vladimir?  Really?”
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autisticandroids · 3 years ago
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Okay so this was a while back but im preety sure you had mentioned an au of yours where dean is a serial killer and cas successfully stalks him but i don't think you talked about it more than that and i just really want to hear a bit more bc that idea sounds so tastefully fucked up
okay so. weeks later i finally end up answering this ask. it inspired this post btw. anyway spn is a show that's like. all about justifications, as i said in the post inspired by this ask. it's about having no choice and doing what you have to do. and like there is the phantasy embedded in it, a phantasy that is both indulged and punished. but most importantly it's justified. the monsters are super strong to show how brave our heroes are for fighting them, the main characters let out great wails of grief every time their lady loves are violently ripped from them (even though now they are free to do whatever they want), the narrative twists to show our heroes as correct whatever they do. the fantasy (of being allowed to enact violence, of being free from feminine "control," of being right) comes first. the material construction of the universe of supernatural comes afterward. whatever the fantasy is, the universe of supernatural will provide material conditions to justify its acting-out.
and what this means is that our protagonists, dean in particular, are constantly doing just horrific things, which in any other circumstance would be unconscionable. but the universe of supernatural provides justification for these acts. the point of my serial killer au which i think about so so so much is to ask the question: what if these justifications melted out from under their feet? what if dean was left holding nothing but a lie and the weight of everything he's done?
therefore, the premise of my au is such (under the cut because this baby is long):
john and mary winchester, in the mid seventies, joined a doomsday cult known as the men of letters. the men of letters were rather unusual for a doomsday cult, in that they believed that the apocalypse could be prevented by human behavior. this started as correct living, correct worship, yadda yadda, the kind of behavior and thought control that cults are known for, but with the justification of: if you don't do this, the world will end. eventually, this escalated to human sacrifice. the men of letters managed to untraceably kill two homeless people in the late seventies. but they eventually fell apart. however, a month after john and mary left the men of letters (mostly john's choice, mary still believed), mary died in a house fire. john took it as a sign from god that actually, the men of letters were right, and the world would end unless john himself did something about it. so he took some of the (intensely numerological) theology of the men of letters. and he worked out his own formula. and he applied it to the yellow pages. and started ritualistically killed people to prevent the apocalypse, with his two sons in the back of the car.
now, obviously, this is some kind of grief induced temporary madness on john's part, shaped by the mental abuse he suffered in the men of letters. but the thing is, once you've killed a couple of people to prevent the apocalypse. well. there's this thing called the sunk costs fallacy. john wasn't gonna question his own beliefs after that.
and he raised his boys to believe it, too, or at least he raised dean to. they didn't tell sam what they did until he was twelve, and sam didn't buy it, tried to call the cops on them several times but in the end, they always prevented him. eventually sam ran off to stanford, where he now lives under a cloud of guilt that he's too loyal to his family to rat them out.
john died a few years back of a heart attack, but dean is convinced it's because he messed up a ritual two weeks before it happened, so it pushed him further into this belief system.
dean's killings (and john's before him) are ritualistic and distinctive, obviously the same killer each time. but they happen anywhere in the united states, seemingly at random, there are inconsistent amounts of time between each one (sometimes as short as days, sometimes as long as years), and there is no particular victim profile. obviously, since our killers are following an arcane mathematical formula to make their choices for them, but the police don't know that.
castiel novak is an unemployed shut-in with a small inheritance which he's living off of, a cryptography degree, and an obsession with all things morbid. he spends most of his time on the reddit true crime forums, playing amateur sleuth. by complete chance, he happens to recognize one of the symbols frequently used in corpse displays by the so-called sioux falls satanic slaughterer (so named because the first time three of his victims were in the same part of the country, it so happened that they were all in sioux falls, south dakota. this was in the late eighties.) as being mostly only used by a little known cult group called the men of letters, which dissolved in the mid eighties.
he only notices this because, as a teen, he had a special interest in cults and fringe religious groups. the men of letters weren't a particularly notable or well known phenomenon; they were small, and a lot like every other cult that formed during the seventies cult boom. (no outsider ever heard about the human sacrifice; there were rumors, of course, but they were garbled, sensationalized, and mixed up with satanic panic fodder.)
(the men of letters' two sacrifices were nothing particularly romantic or fantastical. they first lured panhandler josie sands back to their compound with promises of food and a warm bed when she admitted she couldn't get a bed at a shelter, and was thinking of getting caught shoplifting just so she could be under a roof in the county jail. the men of letters' leader, a man who took on the name alistair, forced his inner circle to dress in the ceremonial black robes he had given them when he initiated them into his nearest and dearest, and which his wife had sewn out of old bed sheets and dyed black with home made oak gall dye. these robes still left black smudges on the wearer's skin occasionally if they sweated too much. josie was laid, bound, on the altar, a slapdash thing constructed over the course of two days from scrap plywood and a couple of milk crates. a rich red tablecloth purchased at macy's for $3.99 hid its ugliness and gave it grandeur. alistair attempted to kill the struggling miss sands by bringing a sharpened kitchen knife down on her bosom and piercing her heart, but, having never killed a human or even slaughtered an animal before, was unaware of the problem presented by the human ribcage. after rather ineffectually poking at the area beneath sands' bosom with his knife while she shrieked in pain and terror for about ninety seconds, alistair tried a different tack, and slit her throat, which worked just fine, and she bled out quite nicely. the second and final victim of the men of letters was a local vagrant named larry ganem, an older gentleman who walked with a limp. he was lured back to the compound in approximately the same manner as sands, but instead of being bound, he was fed stew laced with sleeping pills. even if alistair hadn't slit his throat, he wouldn't have woken up. it's actually arguable whether he was still alive at time of sacrifice; mary winchester (eight months into her first pregnancy), who, as a member of the inner circle, was in attendance, actually tried to take ganem's pulse as he lay on the altar (now covered by a different tablecloth; the red one had turned stiff with sands' blood and been subsequently burned) and found nothing, so it is entirely possibly only sands' death can be directly laid at alistair's feet, and ganem's is the fault of mrs. ellen harvelle, who prepared the laced stew. regardless, these two deaths are lessons in the nature of human evil: it is very rarely skilled, suave, or smooth. it's often slapdash, half-hearted, and just plain incompetent. but that makes it no less grisly. alistair may have begun to drink his own kool-aid, as it were, and escalated this far out of genuine belief that the apocalypse was coming and it was up to him to stop it, but it is far more likely that he sensed the imminent collapse of his little empire, and wanted to bind his subjects to him through the horrors of shared guilt, considering two lives a small price to pay for the continued loyalty of his inner circle. and the tactic worked: the men of letters didn't start to collapse in earnest until almost four years later. perhaps if alistair had continued the killings, the men of letters could have lasted for far longer, maybe even up until the present day. but it seems that alistair, a psychiatrist by training and unused to violence, simply didn't have the stomach for it. unlike, say, john winchester, who before his time with the men of letters had done a two year tour in vietnam, during which he had killed three living, thinking human beings with the american government's go-ahead.)
anyway. castiel is the first person, ever, to make the connection between the men of letters and the sioux falls satanic slaughterer. and once that connection is made, castiel begins to research the men of letters far more in-depth. and he notices something: the theology of the men of letters was intensely numerological, filled with patterns, significant numbers, and even spiritual equations.
castiel thinks of the seemingly random selection of the slaughterer's victims, and has an epiphany.
he cracks all his fingers, and gets coding.
six months. it takes castiel six months to discover an equation that could fit the slaughterer's pattern. it's complex, but also clearly based on several of the men of letters' holy numbers, and accounts for every single one of the killings. it also suggests that there should have been two or three more deaths scattered across the years, but more than likely those did happen, it's just that they weren't reported as part of the slaughterer's portfolio.
but much more importantly, castiel's model can also make predictions. there will be two killings, fifteen days apart, in a city seven hours' drive away, six weeks from now.
so castiel waits. and he books a hotel room. and two months later, he's waiting outside 217 oak street when a shadowy figure climbs up a tree and lets itself into the upstairs window.
dean winchester is feeling particularly all alone in the world when he breaks into maisey banks' home (217 oak street). his father has been dead for half a decade, and he hasn't spoken to his baby brother for twice that. it's not like this whole grizzly saving the world business makes him a lot of friends. so once he's done killing maisey (which is easy, she was ninety three and dying of cancer anyway. she doesn't even wake up when he slits her throat) and arranging her corpse in the appropriate manner, with prayers and sigils, he turns around. and sees a man standing behind him.
smiling slightly.
as he watches dean gut this old woman.
dean freezes.
the man takes a step forward.
"you're very attractive for a serial killer who's been operating since the eighties."
dean is silent.
"family business, is it?"
silence continues.
"i'm not here to report you to police. i'm just here to see if my algorithm worked right."
and dean finally breaks his silence: "what the hell is wrong with you?"
what's fun here is that dean knows (or rather "knows") that he isn't a serial killer. so he finds what cas is doing, this amoral serial killer stormchasing, morally repugnant. because cas has no way of knowing he isn't a regular serial killer.
there's also the fact that that cas proceeds to flirt with him. aggressively. and follows him back to his motel.
but the thing is that dean is all alone in the world. and as cas continues trailing him around, he starts getting, well, flattered. and feeling a little bit less alone.
it doesn't take very long before they fall into bed. even if cas is an amoral stalker with a fetish for what dean considers a distasteful yet necessary vocation.
so. they fall into bed. they fall in love. they make a little life together, in dean's big sexy car. dean tries to explain to cas that he's saving the world. that these people's lives are a necessary price to pay. and cas seems to listen.
of course, castiel doesn't believe a word of it. but he's found that he likes dean. really likes him. and he realizes that the collapse of dean's belief system would destroy him.
so he sets about becoming as complicit in it as possible.
even to the extent where, when dean is hit by a car and ends up into the hospital a day before one killing is meant to take place, castiel agrees to take on the job. (he doesn't actually kill anyone, obviously. but he does use his extensive skill with computers to create three fake newspaper articles which make it look like he has.)
but five years later, something goes wrong. really, really wrong. dean miscalculates the formula. and by the time he checks his work, the actual date of the next kill, as demanded by the formula, has passed. in fact, so have three others. and the world didn't end.
dean collapses. he hyperventilates. all those people. all those people. for no reason. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people. all those people.
cas seems totally unfazed. dean stares at him in shock. but cas just takes dean in his arms, and whispers in his ear: "oh, dean, i never believed in the equation. i love you no matter what you've done."
and dean buries his face in cas' chest.
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What If S1E4 Meta: The True “Heart”
The same way Stephen couldn’t let go of Christine in the fourth installment of What If...?, I haven’t been able to shake this episode off and out of my head since watching it. I’m pretty sure it’s put me through the grieving process. Lately, it’s been haunting me like a ghost, and while mentally revisiting it for the fourteen millionth time, I realized something BRUTAL that I just had to share ASAP!
Hear me out, homies. What if...
The running theme and title of the episode was Stephen Strange losing his “heart.” But although the setup and storyline seems to suggest the euphemism refers to Christine Palmer, it doesn’t! The “heart” of Stephen Strange is not the girl of his dreams he lost in that car accident, but the greater man he had gained.
OK LISTEN. Let me have a shot to show you what I see (even in shite quality, pardon my crappy screenshots). Let’s start with the DS1 recap, 'cuz I’m still not over the first movie, either, and it’s relevant.
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Like the watcher explained, after the devastating and tragic death of the love of his life, Stephen Strange began to look for answers. Not different from Stephen Strange of the sacred timeline, he was obsessed with reversing the great loss and trauma he’d endured. It was with the same perfectionism that made him a great surgeon, that Stephen sought the power to “find his own way back.”
... By any means necessary. 
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They both discover that “power” they were searching for when they stumble upon time magic. However, Stephen is lectured that time magic is something that could risk the stability of the universe, and should never be done lightly and certainly never for the sake of one person over all others. Although harm is not his nature and Stephen doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he struggles to give up on his quest to heal his hands, or alternatively, to resurrect Christine. He was told a solution wasn’t out there, but found it in the Book of Cagliostro.
Despite every person that told him it couldn’t be done, Stephen can’t accept that. He won’t admit there’s nothing that can be done, there has to be something he can do. He’s conceited with the delusion he can alter his past to better his present. And he won’t be swayed of it.
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But when the Ancient One fell, Stephen Strange rose to take her place and fend against the invading Dormammu. He saw for the first time the world that was so much bigger than him, that he could do so much good for, more than good only for himself. He saw the millions of lives that had not yet been lost to tragedy he could prevent and save from it, even if not what hardships had already been done and could not be undone in his own life. Things he could save, not fix.
And it wasn’t his own life he saved with that time magic in the end, but earth itself. And Stephen Strange became something much bigger than himself. No matter what he’d lost in that car accident, he learned there was still much more he could gain, regardless of what he’d lost. He didn’t need to fix his hands. They were still good.
Better than his brilliant mind, was his beautiful heart. 
His capacity for goodness, not greatness.
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And yet, for all the good he’d achieved and learned, on the two year anniversary of Christine’s death, Stephen can’t help but get sucked into his past, and in a moment of weakness, allow his grief power over him once more. He can’t stop reliving the past. He loops it over and over again, trying to reverse fate, trying to find a way to spare Christine and find that “miracle” that must exist to spare her.
The Ancient One has sensed his presence and meddling with the Eye of Agamotto, and warns Stephen that the path he had set himself on would lead him only to more pain. When Stephen refuses to be reasoned with, the Ancient One brandishes him with a single blow before he escapes into the past. He thinks she missed. She didn’t.
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU’RE TO BLAME! DARLING YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME!
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But *ahem* seriously, notice how Stephen was struck mid center his chest, directly over his heart. It was in that moment that Stephen Strange lost his “heart,” as the Ancient One had knocked it out of him, just as she had knocked him out of his own oversized head when they first met. Theory: she cast a spell to separate Stephen’s heart from his mind, the two halves that make one complete man.  
Because even if Stephen Strange’s mind was still set on Christine Palmer, his heart had been changed, and there was still hope for it. And Stephen Strange’s heart had enough with “living in the past for one day,” and chose instead to share drinks with Wong.
Meanwhile, Stephen’s “mind” searched the Library of Cagliostro for a way to reverse an absolute point and save Christine. Eventually, he found the answer he was looking for. He needed more power, that could be obtained by otherworldly creatures. Now, harm is not in Stephen’s nature. On his first attempt, he actually tries asking “nicely,” and ends up getting ass kicked.
O’Bengh, the librarian of the books of Cagliostro, patches up his body and tries to warn Stephen. He may have lost his heart, but if he he keeps going at this rate, he was well on his way to losing his mind.
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But Stephen didn’t heed those words of warning. He distorted his body, darkened himself with every sacrifice he made for Christine’s sake. So caught up in the memory of Christine’s greatness, Stephen had forgotten he’d once had one of his own. Christine was all he saw. 
So obsessed with her, he lost himself.
When Strange returns to O’Bengh’s side, the librarian has aged and is dying. He reveals the passage of centuries Stephen has spent devoted to this madness. As someone Stephen thinks of as a friend passes away, Stephen can’t think to cherish these last moments or listen carefully to his final words. All he can think is to use his magic to spare O’Bengh, which O’Bengh refuses, trying one last time to reach through to Stephen before giving up and leaving hope to the “heart” to be strong enough to withstand and stop him.
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*Wink, wink, wink.* Do you see it now?
Now, onto the confrontation between heart and mind. Stephen’s mind can’t achieve anything if his heart isn’t in it, and I love the symbolism of that. He must get it on board first, unite on both fronts.
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Stephen’s heart can recognize that this isn’t love, but the work of his broken mind lost in a delusion. And Stephen’s so far gone down the rabbit hole, he won’t even listen to his heart. Instead he ignores it, even burns the cloak of levitation... the very symbol of his finding something new that could uplift him after spending so long down on his knees in the past... and he burnt it to ash. When his heart won’t be persuaded, he resorts to trickery, attempting to con his heart with the same delusion that haunts his mind. It’s the same Christine that Stephen first was hung up imagining when he picked up the eye of the Agamotto and got himself into this mess, his trump card.
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But again, the heart cannot be deceived. It knows Christine is dead, and it realizes the fantasy his mind is pursuing is not the same as the Christine they once knew and loved. More importantly, his heart remembers that there are other people who need him now, people that are not beyond saving. And the mind is done playing.
If his heart won’t come willing, then he’ll just have to beat it into submission until it can’t make a single sound of protest, and then swallow it whole. Stephen makes the ultimate sacrifice the Ancient One had tried so hard to prevent, and abandons that heart she saw so much potential in and inspired her to teach him.
This episode AMAZINGLY tackles the narcissism and arrogance that hides in specific shades of grief and depression. In believing our problems are greater than anyone else’s, that no one else could understand as Stephen insisted “they didn’t know her!” The selfishness that comes with refusing to see the world or those around you that still need you and choosing instead to chase the memory of the ones you’ve already lost, who are beyond saving. If we choose those delusions over our reality, in the end, we will lose everything, and the ones who will pay the price for your arrogance won’t be you, but the ones you loved. Even the memory of the one you loved, that you twisted to fit your mold. There’s a selfishness in seeing only the bad of what was rather than the good of what could come.
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Unless you want to end up alone inside a cold and empty shell, maybe it’s time to listen to your heart, and move on.
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meltingpotimagines · 4 years ago
Text
Boyfriend!Todoroki
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dating has never really interested him
but you changed that completely
mina being the people person she is introduced you to the friend group and you just kinda became one of the group
indifferent to your presence at first but slowly became interested the more time he spent around you
how happy you seemed when you laughed or how you wouldn’t take bakugo’s crap
started to pay more attention to you particularly after you managed to put him in his place
(to this day no one knows how you managed to do that and bakugo refuses to admit it ever happened)
he’s never met someone that could handle the human bomb as well as he can
every new thing he learns about you and your personality gets him more and more interested
finds himself hanging around more whenever you come by the dorm
he’s just intrigued by you not like he’s lowkey crushing or anything
denki realized he had a crush on you when he caught him staring at you and from then on was determined to set you two up
(he’d noticed those quick little peaks you’d take in shoto’s direction when you thought no one was looking and shipped it s o hard)
roped mina and ochaco into his schemes bc he knew they’d ship you two just as hard as he did it they knew
he also needed the extra help bc you two were the d e n s e s t people he’d ever met
tried to get shoto to realize his feelings in every way he knew possible
“hey todoroki, doesn’t y/n look so cute today?” “yes”
“y/n, can you go with todoroki to get some snacks for the movie tonight?” “sure”
boy was this close to just locking you two in a closet together and hoping for the best
and almost did but ochaco convinced him to go with a game of spin the bottle instead
with a rigged bottle of course
let everyone in on the plan except mineta so there was no chance of anything going wrong
they will be d a r n e d if their last ditch attempt fails
thankfully neither of you objected when mina suggested the game one night
made sure both you and shoto sat exactly across from each other so regardless of who spun the bottle you’d have to kiss each other
mina volunteered you to go first
shoto stiffened almost imperceptibly when the bottle landed on him
you were going to kiss him
he was going to kiss you
you two were going to kiss
he was going to have his first kiss
with you
in front of everyone
oh no
everyone cheering “kiss! kiss! kiss! kiss!” certainly did not help
he may not know everything but he was n o t oblivious to the fact that everyone found him attractive
which usually means people expect you to know what you’re doing
he did not
at all
was he supposed to make the first move? or were you since you spun the bottle? 
what’s the proper protocol for spin the bottle?
is there proper protocol for spin the bottle?
he wouldn’t know
he’s never played before
did his best to hide his nervousness as you moved towards him
he’d never hear the end of it if anyone figured out it was his first kiss
luckily for him, you just gave him a quick peck on the cheek
not that that stopped him from blushing, much to your surprise
he was equality as surprised at the blush on your cheeks
“...can you come with me for a moment?”
everyone’s teasing voices follow you all the way down the hall (as well as mineta’s “wait where is everyone going? i didn’t get to spin yet!”)
as soon as you were out of earshot he turned around and stared at you for a moment
“do you... like me?”
his heart raced at the sight of your flushed cheeks and skipped a beat when you nodded
“...would you like to go out with me?”
he’s so awkwardly formal it’s so cute
was so nervous he nearly didn’t hear your happy little “yes!”
he relaxed as a soft smile graced his face
“tomorrow, six o’clock? meet at the front door?” “it’s a date”
one of many~
but the only one before he asked you to be his
hey, boy knows what he wants
was kinda nervous bc he doesn’t know much about this stuff but he’s a fast learner
gets you red roses sometimes bc he heard that was romantic
first time he did he got you a bouquet of fifty
not that it wasn’t appreciated ofc but in hindsight, fifty is just a l i t t l e excessive on a normal day 
was confused when you suggested changing your contact names for each other but went along with it
chose a simple ‘mine’
tried to make you change his when he saw you picked ‘freezer burn’
“you chose freezer burn? why?” “because teasing is a sign of affection” “fine”
it makes you happy so he’ll allow it even if he’d rather it be boyfriend ᵒʳ ʰᵒᵗ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ
never initiated physical contact at first, but as he got more comfortable with you, the touchier he became
not big into pda but turns into a massive cuddlebug when it’s just the two of you
doesn’t really care how you cuddle as long as he’s facing you
he can’t stand cuddling with his back to you
loves to take cuddle naps
even if he doesn’t actually sleep and just dozes the whole time, it’s his favorite way to spend time with you
just being wrapped up in blankets with you, listening to your steady breathing or your heartbeat if his head is on your chest
it makes him feel at peace
was determined not to go to you about nightmares
no one needs to know about those and he certainly didn’t need to bother you with them
but one night he had a particularly bad one
showed up your door at two in the morning
no explanation, just stood there, face hidden until you invited him in
curled into bed with you and buried his face in your neck
you could feel the tears on your skin but didn’t say anything about it, much to his relief
he clung to you until he finally fell asleep, safe and warm in your arms
opened up in the morning about the nightmares
it made him feel very exposed but he felt you deserved an explanation
not that you would ever judge him or use it against him
“you know you can come to me whenever you have them right?’
he didn’t but now he does
anytime you hear a knock on your door in the middle of the night, you know it’s him
it’s always the same routine
you let him in, he crawls into bed with you, you two fall asleep with him in your arms
it makes him feel better knowing he has a safe place to go to
sometimes gets insecure about his scar
is it ugly? or was his mom right after all? is his left side itself unsightly?
it always quiets those thoughts when you kiss his scar
makes him feel loved
the first time you two said i love you was both so awkward but so precious
you had been a little out of it all day
it had been a long day and there had been a lot of your mind
out of habit you said “bye love you” as you turned to leave and it took your tired brain a couple of seconds to process what you had just said
crap
internally freaking out, you looked back to see him staring at you, eyes wide
crap crap crap
“i mean-”
his eyes softened and a gentle smile spread across his face before walking towards you and pressing a kiss to your forehead
“i love you, too”
pLS imma cry
from then on showed how much he loved you in everything he did
press little kisses wherever his head is when you cuddle
always gets you a drink when he gets himself one
takes note whenever he sees you eyeing something that you want and gets it for you later
buys you your favorite food when you’re sad
gently squeezes your hand when you go on walks together
wordlessly takes off his jacket and wraps it around you if it’s chilly
he doesn’t say the words very often but his actions say it all
he’ll never leave you any room to doubt how much he loves you
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kissmetae · 4 years ago
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Hope
❧ AU: x Taehyung || Friends to Lovers (Lowkey slow-burn)
You felt distressed, caught up in your own emotions and confused by your over-thought thoughts. Going through a rough patch as some would say, where everything felt hopeless and you found yourself scrolling pinterest till 1am looking for "angsty" core aesthetics to fit your new "vibe" of life. But it was easier said than done to dig yourself a hole when your best friend constantly stood by filling the hole back up as you dug in an attempt to stop you, help you and make you feel better, despite having his own issue to deal with... his crush on you.
|| ANGST + SMUT | 11k | x reader | masterlist in bio ||
❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic.  Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.
❧ Rating: EXPLICIT || sexual content, unprotected sex ||  Warnings: mention of feeling hopeless, "deep reflection", (reader is troubled by something going on in their life but it's open for interpretation/unspecified)
❧ Smut features: Vanilla, desperate, first time together, unprotected, reassuring/concent asking/'checking in' (is this ok? Does it feel good?) top!Tae and a power outage.
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How do you know when you've reached the complete state of hopelessness? Do people ever become 100% hopeless? You inhaled deeply and sighed it out. Gaze to the white ceiling, back on the bed and legs up against the wall. The tingle in your feet from the lack of circulation made them look somewhat less alive and feel cold. With a tilt of the hips you allowed your legs to slowly fall to the side, forming a new pose in the shape of a 90 degree angle on the bed and allowing for the less zombie-ish color to return to your feet. Hopelessness. Feeling like there is no point yet still stubbornly aching in the inner crevice of the head with a wish for there to be a chance for something else. A change, a plot twist a sudden eureka to make the entire world loose it's zombie color pallet and become lively and vibrant again. Hope. Or a wish for hope. It's probably some basic programming, like survival instinct, hope instinct. But at this point you didn't want to believe. You wanted to be grumpy, upset, frustrated. To curse society and curse what isn't fair and curse all the norms and expectations around you regardless of who made them up! Curse the media, curse the mold for perfect and the lip filler ads, curse the restrictions planted by your own beliefs and curse the cause of said belief! But feeling frustrated and angry is hard. Not only is it exhausting but it's the hardest emotion to let out fully and feel satisfied by after. If anything anger and frustration feels like a self-fueling fire that keeps burning more and more until you get exhausted and slump down on the bed with your legs up the wall. Crying would've been easier. You sat up, feeling a brief spin in the head due to your advanced modelling poses and reached for your water bottle. Water, Zen, calm rivers, refreshment, sound of clucking water in the harbor... rain. You turned towards your bedroom window at the sudden raging pattering sound outside. Even the sky needed to cry today. You reached for your phone, having it be faced down for the past hour or so after giving up on ranting about your dilemma to your friend. You had two types of friends. Those who were there for you when convenient and those who were there for you regardless. Taehyung was one of them. 3 missed calls. 15 texts- make that 16. A sting of guilt washed through realizing he must've been worried sick the past hour. Too exhausted to use your vocal chords you opened the text chat. Taehyung was the definition personified of a caring person. Sometimes to the extent where you'd question if it was more than anyone deserved. Did the world deserve Taehyung? You didn't make it through the second text before your doorbell rang followed by a loud bang. It sounded urgent... You got up from bed and slipped your feet into your white fluffy slippers and made your way to the front door of your apartment. You unhooked the clasp and unlocked your door to see one of the rainstorm's victims dripping water onto your doormat. Taehyung, Dressed in a green raincoat and hair clinging to his forehead and temples. His chest was rising unnaturally with his attempts to regain his breathe. "Tae-" He stepped in, an arm wrapping around your side and the other pressing your head to his wet shoulder. "If you didn't make me so worried... I would've removed my raincoat before hugging you." He squeezed. "See this as my revenge." His heart was beating fast. He pulled back after a few seconds, breathing stable and his red hands reaching to unbutton his raincoat. Did he not wear gloves? He pulled the door shut behind him and gently kicked off his boots. Apparently not. "I'll... go hang your raincoat in the bathroom for it to dry" you said, taking it from him. He was quick to address the elephant. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?" He followed behind you. "I... I left my phone to charge and I got distracted..." you made up, hanging his raincoat up in the shower. "I didn't come here to scold you, but when you tell me you're feeling hopeless, you get that it makes me worried right?" His voice was gentle and he looked at you with concerned eyes, stood in the door to the bathroom. Actually.... you didn't. Why would anyone worry... everyone seemed to always take it as nihilistic comedy or something and swat it away with something along the lines of "you’re just hungry" or the classic "are you on your period?" Maybe you were or maybe you weren't but why would that matter? Just thinking about it made you feel annoyed. As if any deep emotion only was caused by a period, it's just a period, why would anyone, let alone someone with a period themselves ask someone else that in a way that minimizes the reason they feel upset or angry or whatever emot- "Hey?" Taehyung pulled you back out from inside your head. "I don't know..." He crossed his arms over his chest and you knew that look far too well. "We'll talk about it, but right now, I'm here to make it better and take care of you. Did you eat?" You shook your head. "Great! Because I stopped by at the shop on my way... before the rain attacked me and picked up some stuff, including~" he said with an eager tone and walked towards the grocery bag you hadn’t noticed until now. He picked it up and dug his hand in for something. "Du du du du" he sang dramatically and slowly pulled out the familiar dark blue packaging. The love of your life, the source of all things good. Chocolate. The good one! Not the weird orange wrapping one you hated, but the blue one, the holy blue one, your favorite one. "I remember your frustration when you saw the empty shelf of horror last week and it was restocked today so i picked up three just in case." "THREE?!" "Mhm!" He nodded proudly. You could cry, finally, but for other reasons. "TaeTae you're the best." You walked towards him, hugging him tight. He was the bestest of the best, the hero, the savior, chocolate delivery man. Oh what would life be without him. A blush spread across his cheeks. "You did it again." He said shyly "Hm? Did what?" "You called me TaeTae." "You don't like it?" "... I do." -- Taehyung had you stationed at the kitchen table while he cooked. With a focused gaze he scrolled on his phone, reading the next step for the recipe while stirring the pot. You were pretty sure he knew this recipe by heart now, he'd cooked it for you before and he should be confident in it but seemingly not enough yet to put the recipe down. The kitchen smelt amazing and you could feel your hunger cry out for whatever was simmering in the pot. Taehyung gently tapped the wooden spoon against the pot as he added another ingredient. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. That's where you'd left him hanging in your texts when exhaustion took over... "I just..." "Is it /that/ thing?" Taehyung asked, very much knowing of your source for distress already. "Kinda... but this time it feels different... I’m not nervous or eager, I just felt like I was waiting and waiting and what if I waited so long for nothing and I.... it doesn’t make sense but I just feel numb at this point and like I'm losing hope. Like every odd is set against me and I'm the only one dumb enough to still bet on myself." "And me. Except I'm not dumb, nor are you and I'll always bet on you. Always." Oh Taehyung... "Well, as your personal doctor and advisor and therapist and nurse, care-taker, comfort teddy and so on, I am going to prescribe you with some stuff." You chuckled. "Please go ahead." He placed a plate in front of you and another on the opposite end of the table. "Firstly, a good healing meal." "And you’ve already done everything in your power right now, you’ve been working hard. Maybetoohard." He mumbled under his breathe followed by a fake cough. "That said, let me distract you." "How?" "Well, some old school friends wanted to go out clubbing this weekend and-" "You don't like clubbing." "Hold on, let me get to the point. My suggestion is that you can come too, it won’t only be them. There will be the general club people too of course and I think most of them were bringing other friends or their girlfriends too so... it might be fun? If it sucks, we'll ditch and go to the midnight bowling place or noraebang, yes?" Maybe having some social interaction, an excuse to dress up and good music wasn't such a bad idea? The only thing bugging you was the potential mess there could be... and lately with your stressed mind you hadn't been the best at handling those environments, but after all this was just a club, with dancing people... it couldn't be that bad right? Bowling did sound fun too though... But you knew distraction and fun was what you probably needed. Maybe it wouldn't solve the issues but maybe it'd make it weigh less. The small distractions did a lot, a big one should do even more. "Sure." "Really?!" You could've sworn you just witnessed his ears wiggle from excitement. "I'll come." -- When Taehyung said "clubbing" you expected big flashy neon signs, a red rope and a guard and pulsing music coming from inside... not a giant base, a sax and a set-up of almost 4 different types of synthesizers. A jazz club. You should've known. The band was some sort of electro jazz fusion sprinkled with funk type band, as they introduced themselves as and they weren't bad, not at all. In fact this was a lot cozier than an uncomfortable packed nightclub. You just wish Taehyung told you so you could've worn your comfy flowy favorite dress rather than your tight little black one, wanting to fit in with the scene... Taehyung was dressed in black slacks, a green sweater and a brown coat that was hung over his chair, paired with his trademark assortment of bracelets on his wrist. Including the one you gave him for his birthday two years ago. He never took it off since the day he got it. It made you smile seeing it on his wrist. Taehyung's old school friends, the few you had managed to great during the evening were all really nice and most of them had their arm either around another or a hand held by another. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward, the questioning looks that didn't need to be vocal for you to understand. "Is this your girlfriend?" Taehyung just smiled, maybe playing it off was best... or did he just not notice the silent question? At first you expected a shrug or something but nope... "Would you like something more to drink?" Taehyung asked, leaning in so you'd hear him over the music and pointing towards your nearly empty glass. "I think I'm alright." "What?" "I'm ok." You leaned in closer. "Do you want to dance?" You and Taehyung were seated alone at one of the many tables as the majority were occupied dancing to the beats of the band and the rest drinking at other tables or mingling around. You had been up there at least twice, maybe even three times dancing the best you could and Taehyung always being by your side but your brain was starting to get a little drowsy. "I think I'm going to call it a night. But you can stay if you want." "No no, if you want to go home I'll come with you, let me walk you home." "I'll take a taxi its ok" "I insist." "So do I" the few drink he had had were enough to make his words braver and bolder. "It's late, I don't want you to go back alone regardless of if you take a taxi. I'll walk you." Fine. "Ok" Taehyung swept the remainder of his wine  and grabbed his coat and waved some quick goodbyes. It was cold outside. Dark and empty... maybe it was good Taehyung insisted after all. He stumbled slightly, alarming you. Your hands instinctively reached for him and he giggled. "You only had two glasses I doubt you're drunk right now." "Maybe I wiwwle tipdie" he giggled, clearly  acting up. "Does wiwwle tipdie Taehyung need help? Should I carry you on my back?" "No! I should be carrying you, do you have a blister on your heal from your shoes? Sore feet? Sore legs? Anything I can use as an excuse?" You laughed, patting him gently on the back. A cold breeze travelled through the street and you pulled your jacket tighter around you. "You're cold?" Taehyung asked "A little... my choice of dress wasn't the best." "I think you look beautiful." The sudden compliment caught you off guard. "... thanks." "Thanks? For what?" "The compliment" "I'm simply stating the facts." He said, looking to the side and slipping his hands into his pockets. "It sure is cold..." Why was it feeling awkward suddenly? Silence between the two of you would usually be comfortable... "Thanks for bringing me too." "Did you have fun?" He turned to face you again. "Yes, it was better than I expected." "I'm glad to hear that." "But let’s go bowling next time." "Sure!" He smiled widely. A source of warmth suddenly surrounded you and you looked up to see Taehyung's face turned away yet again but his arm resting around your shoulder, wrapping his coat around you and urging you closer into his side till your hips almost brushed against each other. The rest of the walk back home was a few minutes of silence, but luckily you didn't live far. "Home sweet home" "How will you get home?" You asked, concerned. "Ah..." he checked the time on his phone. "Well I've missed the last train... so unless I can find a taxi which so far I've seen none I'll have to sleep at the station." "No you're not, come, you can call a taxi from my place and at least wait inside instead of out in the cold." You said, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you through the entrance. "Nobody's picking up?" You asked Taehyung looked down at his phone with a confused look. "It keeps hanging up on me? I don't know if maybe their line is down or something?" "It would explain why we didn't see any on the walk back." "I guess so... so now what?" He looked up at you. "Guess you'll have to stay the night." He grinned. "Can't remember the last time we had a sleep-over" he chuckled and removed his coat. He was right, it must've been years ago... the last time you could remember was a movie night gone sleep over during winter when it had snowed so no traffic was able to move at all. You grabbed a spare cover and a pillow and handed it to Taehyung, sleepiness already present in his eyes. "Hey." Taehyung said, laying out the pillow and cover on your sofa. "If I have a nightmare can I come lay next to you?" He grinned. "If you have to." He replied with a puppy gaze. "Good night TaeTae." His eyes widened and he looked down at the couch. "... Good night." -- The question was when would you wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of the aggressive rasp of the snow plow dragging across the street? It almost sounded like it was more ir less plowing the asphalt off the earth rather than the snow. More irritating was that it just added to your unsatisfying sleep and rough awakening streak. One good morning was all you asked for... You sat up, slid off the edge of the bed and slipped into your slippers that were neatly set up by its side. A scratch of the head and an adjusting pull of the bun on your head and you headed to you first destination; tea. With heavy steps you dragged yourself out of your room and were met by the surprise you had forgotten was left on your couch from last night, sprawled across the sofa... in only boxers. Oh god. The covers were halfway on the floor, only covering his legs, barely. It was cold too but should you just ignore him... no, you couldn't... but what if you woke him up? He was only in boxers and you were already trying your best not to look but your brain had already registered that they were black and Calvins... please no more information... thigh muscles NO! Chest, focus on the chest. He was breathing, he was alive. Inhale, exhale. You carefully made your way towards him. His chest was toned... the type perfect to rest your head on NO! Messy hair... It really didn't help that your best friend was as attractive as he was. You bent down and carefully picked up the cover, pulling it back up over his upper body. He must've been really cold, his nipples- NO. You shook your head furiously to get rid of the thought. You turned around 180 degrees and marched to the kitchen. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tae. TEA! You could hear the covers rustle as he shifted, followed by a soft groan. Oh no... Please no. Although... why was it so dangerous for him to see you in your own home, making tea. I don't know! But regardless it felt like an action movie stealth scene for the grand heist judging by your heart beat. The boiler was too loud, the accidental clink of the mug as you set it to the counter too, the rip of packaging of the tea bag, the wind whistling outside! Sweat? You were sweating, stress consuming you yet again over the moist pointless little thi- "Hey?" The tea cup smashed against the kitchen floor along with your gasp and you grabbed the door handle of the kitchen cupboard for support. Taehyung starred at you with wide startled eyes. Maybe your screech scared him as much as his sudden presence scared you. "Sorry." He chuckled, voice so deep and raspy you could practically feel his vocal chords vibrate. Your heart was pounding hard. Could he at least have been swaddled in the covers and not in his boxers right now... You diverted your eyes to the porcelain shards across the floor. "Wait wait wait!" Taehyung yelped, holding his hand out to stop you from moving. But it was too late. The dark kitchen along with your giddiness had of course resulted in the unfortunate miss step. You sighed, lifting your foot from the chard as you felt something wet trickle down your foot. Taehyung quickly reached to turn the lights on, the bright shine blinding both of you briefly and making the view of him even clearer. "Stay there." Taehyung ordered. Your kitchen was pretty small so there wasn't much space to move without risking another wrong step. A cup of tea and now all this. You slapped your arms to your sides in a deep pout. Making a new cup now just felt wrong but you craved a cup so bad and it was cold... the floor was cold, you were cold... and not to mention everything hanging in form of heavy weights on your shoulders and chilling on top of the imaginary storm cloud above you right now. It's like your issues were mocking you and just making everything worse. Maybe the issue was that you related to the once-was intact mug. You felt split and unorganized, all over the place and dependent on things you knew you shouldn’t be depending your hope and happiness on but yet day after day you’d lose yourself in a visualization of a scenario of perfection were everything would be ok until again the door was slammed in your face and you had to start all over again. No matter how many times you felt like this time would be different and this time you were ready, this time it'd all go your way because the past was forgiven and your time wasn’t right but again and again .... Your patience was running out. You sniffed, wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. Taehyung came back holding a broom and a dust pan when he saw your face of tears. "No..." he sounded panicked. He leaned down quickly sweeping the chards to the side of the kitchen and tossing the broom and pan into the pile so he could approach you. Strong lean arms embarrassed you like out of a 6 different angles k-drama scene. A hand found its place on the back of your head, softly petting you as the other pressed you closer to his warm chest. Never had you expected  that hugging Taehyung would feel this safe. May it be because he was the one you could be truly vulnerable with or that he was the one that knew what was going on right now, but whatever he did... he did it just right. "You don't need to say anything." He whispered. "I know." He squeezed you a little firmer. "I know." He reassured. "Sssh" his hand felt so gentle as it caressed you. "It's going to be ok." He felt so warm. "I'm here." His skin felt so soft against your hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Your heart calmed down. Taehyung didn't pull away until you became silent and your breathing stable. But even then he didn't pull away completely, only enough to look at your face and caress his thumbs under each eye gently. "I'll reheat the water for you." He smiled softly and reached for the switch on the kettle. You didn't want to let go, not just yet. But he slipped away carefully and kneeled to sweep up the shards and discarded the pieces into the bin. He briefly disappeared and came back holding his sweater, arms slipped in and pulling it over his head as he entered, causing his shoulders to naturally flex slightly as he slipped it on. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, added a bag in each and filled them with the hot water. You tugged and fidgeted at your sleeve as you watched, feeling unusually shy in his presence. "Come, let’s sit on the sofa" Taehyung said and grabbed a mug in each hand but quickly came to a halt. "Your foot!" You had forgotten about it too. He placed the mugs back down and watched you as you lifted to check the cut. "Fuck." Taehyung said and quickly ripped a piece of kitchen towel off and handed it to you. Holding one hand against the fridge for support and the other wiping the smeared mess on your foot you watched as Taehyung quickly disappeared and reappeared again with your med kit. "Does it hurt?" He asked, rummaging through the kit. "No, it just stings a little." He pulled out some disinfectant solution and eyes you quickly up and down. Before you knew it he was stood in front of you, kneeling slightly as you felt his large hand grab a hold behind your thigh and his arm scooped you up on him. Your heart was back to its rapid pace again. He set you down on the sofa carefully and went back to grab the disinfectant and the tea mugs. He sat on the floor in front of you, soaking a cotton pad with the solution and gentle pulling your foot towards him by the ankle. "Ah, thanks goodness it doesn't seem to be deep." He said with relief, gently dabbing the cotton pad to the wound. It stung a little but it wasn't too bad. "All nice and clean, do you have cute band-aids?" "Only boring plain ones I'm afraid." Taehyung scrunched his nose. "Boo." With a band-aid beneath your foot and your longed for tea in your hands you sat next to him on the sofa. "An eventful morning." "I should become your fulltime caretaker at this point." Taehyung joked. "Not that I'd mind." "Will you pay me?" He raised his brows as well as the mug to his lips. "No way." You smiled. "Charity work is good for karma." "I already have good karma!" Taehyung protested, pretending to be offended. He laughed that trademark warm laugh that was like a smooth cackle that somehow always triggered a little firework to go off in your chest. You smiled, looking into your mug as if it'd tell you a fortune. ... you swallowed and looked up. In winter the sun rose late and had begun its voyage above the horizon, painting the sky a bright warm orange tone as it shined in through the window behind Taehyung. No. You didn't have feelings for him. You just felt some post-event shakiness and nerves and for the matter of a fact you finally got your much needed cry. It must just be your chest feeling lighter thanks to the cry. "So, do you have any planes today?" Taehyung asked. "I don't even know what day it is." "Good, I don't have plans either and it's Saturday for your information. But I do have a potential plan and that is, since I'm already here, to spend the day with you unless you have important to do's, which you shouldn't, because you need a break." He whispered towards the end. "A fmnn break." He repeated, biting his lip on the word to censor himself, but he got his point across. "A break would be nice... but when I try, I feel distressed as if I shouldn't be doing it because I'm wasting my time. I need-" "A distraction" Taehyung filled in. You nodded. "Then thou shall sit here and watch my live-in-action cooking show live from your kitchen." He said cheerfully, slapping his hands to his thighs as he stood up. "Do you have strawberries?" He asked. "In the freezer." "Yes!" He made his way to the kitchen, worth to mention is the open floor plan of your apartment so you could see him well enough from where you were seated. The soft messy curls on his head bounced with him as he walked. He dramatically pointed at you with a spatula in his hand. "Welcome." He said, speaking deeply into the spatula. "The pancake and strawberry smoothie extravaganza extraordinaire show with your host." He point his thumb and index under his chin. "Kim Taehyung." His goofiness never failed to bring a smile to your face. He went to grab his phone on the sofa table. "I need background music...." he hummed as he scrolled, spatula still in his other hand. "Jeopardy music 10 hours?" He looked up at you for an opinion. "Please no." He giggled and a calm upbeat song started playing from him phone as he put it back down and resorted to the kitchen. While frying up the first batch he was spaced out, humming on the theme tune to jeopardy anyway. You had made yourself comfortable on the sofa, lying down. The sofa smelt like him now. The same sweet comforting scent as the hug had... and his coat the numerous times he'd wrapped it around you when it was cold or shielded you from the rain with it. But speaking of memory, thinking back at those often occurring times you were also reminded about how a previous "friend" used to try and provoke you into being nervous and shy in Taehyung's presence. You'd been close for years and maybe she had an issue with that or something but she'd always find ways to tease you in way. Claiming Taehyung was giving you "looks" or "checking you out" in ways she as a self-declared expert in men deemed were of more than friendly nature. And since she as expert of men by that likely thought all men were the same, proves how reliable of a source she was. Taehyung he just.... you were close. She just wanted to make you feel embarrassed and self-conscious and make it awkward between you. You hated thinking about that. It made you overthink and feel awkward. Like an evil loop. You looked up at the breakfast chef, catching his eye as he quickly looked back down to the pancakes. You could get used to this view. Handsome man in boxers and sweater making you pancakes when you’re feeling blue, the headline in your head spelled out. The Zen experience of the kitchen fan being turned off brought stillness and Taehyung emerges with a plate of pancakes, disappearing and re-appearing again after denying your offer to help with the strawberry smoothies, plates, forks, knifes and every suitable pancake topping he had been able to locate in your kitchen. And a tube of mustard as a joke that you only kept in your fridge for when your dad came over to dinner and his weird obsession with having mustard on everything. It was probably even expired. "Enjoy your meal." "You're my hero Taehyung." You said, stabbing a pancake. "I can be your hero baby." You froze. "What?" "Haven't you heard that song?" He smiled. Oh.. "Hero? By Enrique Iglesias?" "Ah, now that you mention it-" "With the weird music video were goes on this road trip with the girl and then he's suddenly rubbing money over her body in this random stone house." "Is this what you binge on youtube at 2am when I wake up to 15 links and emotional texts." "Do not judge me!" You giggled. "I'm not, I like waking up to those texts from you. You sent them to me for a reason." Taehyung smiled shyly. "Yeah... anyhow! I have a suggestion, a proposal, a-" "Go on" "Since I'm your hero, but even I weren't. I thought maybe I could stay here a few days? Only if you want me to, of course. I just-" he became shyer. "I like to think that you seem to feel better when I'm around and you're going through a rough time so I'd like to be there for you, like you are for me." Your heart made its presence in your chest known yet again. "You should think.... because it's true." "So?" "It'd be nice." He smiled widely. "Great! But I do need to go home and pack some clothes and... some pajamas and Yeontan! He is a great comforter trust me, he has cheered me up many times when I've cried." "Cried? What were you crying about?" "Oh- uhm it's nothing, it's ok now so." He swatted it away. "Boys cry too." He joked, but it tasted weird. "But he's staying with my parents this weekend, but if you want I can go pick him up." He suggested. "It's ok, he needs time with his grandparent." Taehyung chuckled. "Well they love their grandson so I'm sure they wouldn't mind having him stay an extra day or two." -- You couldn't help but feel bad that Taehyung had to sleep on the sofa... His bag with clothes and necessities was placed in the hallway and the covers neatly hung over the backrest. "We could take turns and sleep in the bed every other day." "I told you it was fine." Taehyung insisted, again. "I just feel bad..." "Then let’s both sleep in your bed and call it even." "...." your cheeks felt hot. "See, so I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it!" What does he mean "see"? ... you were simply imagining what excuse to use as to how your head would coincidentally end up on his chest instead of your pillow. "Or we'll both sleep on the sofa, but it might be a bit cramped." He continued. "Maybe this was a bad idea..." "Hey no! No, I'm just joking. Don't feel bad ok." Taehyung's hands smoothed down your arms. "Beds are better at healing wounds on the feet too." You exhaled deeply. "Oh TaeTae..." "Doesn't this feel like we're having a pajama party or sleep over?" He smiled. "Kinda, should we build a blanket fort and watch movies?" His mouth dropped open. "I'm just kidding!" You laughed He pouted. "Oh you want to?" A nod. "You want to build a fort and watch movies?" You asked with more excitement. More enthusiastic nodding. You both cracked up laughing on the sofa together. "I'm serious though." Taehyung grinned. -- You lied awake in your bed, eyes to the ceiling. For some wild reason you both thought it would be a great idea to binge through the entire twilight saga series as a source of comedy but you only made it up to half-way through eclipse when it became too much to handle for both of you. The first movie was easy to mock and laugh at and make fun out if but once it got more serious and romantic in new moon it started getting a little awkward. To say the least, feeling flustered from watching twilight but not due to the movie itself but from the presence of Taehyung right next to you in your make-shift sofa blanket fort. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And he was out there... on your sofa, right now. And who knew if he was in cute polka dot pajamas with his hair a mess on the pillow or his tight fitted boxers and his hair tied up.. You bit your lip, crossing your legs at the visual. You remembered the first time you witnessed Taehyung tie his hair up and how it felt like being punched in the gut. It's not possible to be that attractive. "Then aren't you attracted to him?" The voice echoed in your head. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to them! Which is very much true. But Taehyung's personality was attractive too which was harder to justify the same way. And his person. And him. The entire package. You sighed. Maybe the stupidest thing you could do right now was reach for your phone and google "do I have feelings for my best friend?" Ah yes. A quiz. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all, it'd say maybe you like him but you're not into him at the very most. Question 1, do you find them attractive. Well who wouldn't? And like mentioned it doesn't mean you're attracted to him. Yes. Question 2, do they like you? Pfft... what kind of question is that? How would you know? I don't know... or yes I guess? I mean he clearly likes you as a friend or he wouldn't be up to making all this effort for you but do they mean platonically? You ticked maybe. Question 3, Do you stalk them on social media? What the??? He's your best friend! The algorhythm shoves his posts in your face weather you like it or not. Sometimes. Question 4, Do you see them a lot? Yes. Question 5, Do you want to know more about them? You already know everything ... but what he cries about to Yeontan is something. Yes. Question 6, when you see them with somebody else who isn't considered their friend, how do you feel? Jealous. Question 7, when they're around you how do you feel? Nervous or self-conscious or nothing or i don’t know... well nervous AND a little self-conscious depending on the situation and if he's dressed or in just his boxers. Nervous. Question 8, Do you think about them? Yes. Always. Question 9, Do you laugh at their jokes? Another weird one but yes. Question 10, are they your ex? Huh? No. Definitely. A lot. You placed your phone screen down on your chest and let out a sigh. Maybe visualizing a kiss or two while in the shower was a crime after all... or was the question why were you in the first place? He was amazing in every type of way and you wanted to know if he was amazing at kissing too andmaybeinbed but you can't just ask him that or try it out, so you had to resort to imagination.... Who were you even trying to convince at this point? You liked him. Definitely. And a lot. The realization did nothing to help you fall asleep unfortunately. Another 15 minutes in dark silence passed when you suddenly heard the floorboards squeak. Maybe Taehyung was going to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water... But the soft pats of his feet should've stopped by now... Your half open door pushed open a bit more shyly and Taehyung peaked in. Dressed in pajama bottoms, but no shirt. "You're awake." He said, whispering. "So are you." "I can't sleep..." he rubbed his arm. "I feel lonely." As if you'd deny him looking all shy and vulnerable in your door. You scooted to the side in your bed, making raise his brows in hope and anticipation, fingers fidgeting. "Come." You said, patting the bed next to you. The bed dipped gently as he lied down and you put the covers over him. He shifted onto his side, placing his head on your pillow. This was better. But since you just took an online quiz to realize you had feelings for this man currently shirtless in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward. "How come you're feeling lonely?" You asked, trying to conceal your stiffness "To a start I sleep better when I get to hold something." He said shyly "Who?" You asked, intending for it to be a thought. "When I'm at home, Yeontan." Of course... "He lays on the bed and I feel less lonely and hearing him walk around or do something makes me feel soothed knowing I'm not alone... for the most part." "Are the tears you cry... tears of loneliness?" You could tell it triggered something in him. He bit his lip and nodded gently, eyes glossy. "For the most part it's just me and a pillow." He confessed. "But you could say-... it's something like that, yes." Face to face, mere inches apart. You thanked the darkness of the room that he couldn't see you blush right now but unreasonable fear that he'd somehow "sense" it in the atmosphere still worried you. You shouldn't have taken that stupid quiz it only made you start overthinking and it was probably rigged and the questions were weird so why should you listen to it? Get back to your senses! He's your best friend and you're comfortable with him! Calm down! "... I know it's dumb" Taehyung mumbled. "I know it seems like I'm this easy-going social butterfly with lots of friends who can find someone to hang out with within seconds... but when I'm alone at home, I just feel so empty. Like if nobody sees me, I don't exist. Thus when I'm alone, I'm not real anymore." "That's very philosophical, but what if someone thinks about you while you are alone? Then wouldn't you exist since somebody has you on their mind?" "But it'd be impossible for me to know and people have better things to do than walk around and daydream about me." It stung a little inside hearing him say this. "People are actually capable of multitasking you see, they can do these better things you speak of and think about you at the same time. I think about you a lot, sometimes I think about you while doing the laundry, riding the bus or taking a show- that sound's wrong." Taehyung chuckled. "But you get what I mean." "What do you mean?" He asked "That I think about you and that you aren't alone TaeTae, you never are. If you're ever feeling lonely, maybe think about me. If that helps. Or get to know yourself more, become your own friend or create an imaginary friend!" "I already do that." "Have an imaginary friend?" "Think about you." Oh. "... does it help?" You asked shyly. He shook his head. "It just makes me miss you and want to come to see you." Is it possible to experience a softer heart attack than you just did? Rather than a heart exploding in saw gore-level mess it gently poofed and became a small cloud of red feathers gently falling to the ground. Since when had you become a softie? Two hours ago you were all if there's no sex in the romance novel, it's not worth my time but now you suddenly felt an urge to ransack the romance section of the nearest library to read every cheesy romance story you could find until you could find one similar to your own. Your... own? What? With... with Taehyung? ... not that you’d visualize every male lead character as coincidentally similar to him regardless of how their looks were described in the book.... "Maybe I do need to spend some time with myself to get over it..." No! Stay here with me! "I can spend more time with you." Taehyung looked up. "I think that could benefit us both." He sounded more hopeful now. "Well, you're already here so it's also convenient." Despite the darkness you could make out the smile on his face that appeared. Cute. But wait... did Taehyung suggest he could stay here for you, because he felt lonely? He shifted slightly and the sheets rustled. His leg accidently brushed against yours and your first thought was to tangle your legs with his in a leg tackle war... but you still felt too on edge to act casual and playful with him like you normally could. You swallowed. "How long have you felt this way?" "A while... a long while. At first it was nothing but then it got worse and even more worse when I realized this one thing." "What thing was that if I may ask?" He sighed. "It's hard to explain... but, say a friend." "Mhm?" "A friend feels kinda lost, existentialism and stuff going on, doesn't like to be by himself, then he finds this person and they make him forget it all but once they’re apart it all returns to him again like they were his escape but only for as long as they were together." "Is that only with that one person or all?" "No no, only that person. And then he realizes he might be in love, or he's addicted to the person in a way, but in a good way not an obsessive way just-" "In love?" "Something like that." "You're in love?" "Huh?! What no! This was about a friend! I'm not talking about me!" "Then what did you realize Taehyung?" You could tell his mind briefly blanked in panic. "I realized that maybe I, as said friend need to find that person for me." "A person?" He nodded shyly. "You want to fall in love?" "I don't know... something like that." 'Something like that' seemed to be his catchphrase this evening. But in love? A person? His person?... that couldn't be you... could it? Did he want you to be his person? Were you his person?? The questions and confusion kept spiraling through your head, (finally) making you feel tired and exhausted. "I think... I just want to tend to someone else than myself, to not have to think so much about it and instead take care of somebody else." "Is that why you offered to stay?" "Yes and no, I want to take care of you because I am genuinely concerned and worried about you, I want to be there for you. But also, sleeping on the couch last night, hearing you tiptoe around the kitchen... it made me feel comforted." His voice sounded drowsy. "If you want... I can be your person in this scenario." You suggested. "You've already become.. person." He mumbled, sinking deeper into his half-awake state. -- You stretched your leg out one at the time, twisting your body gently and inhaling deeply into a stretch, gently batting your eyes open. You pushed a palm against the bed to get up into a seated position when something suddenly restrained you, heavy over your abdomen. Surprised, you raised the sheet to see the reminder of what you had forgotten last night. Over your waist, a lean arm with faint thin dark hairs and a few subtle veins travelling up the forearm from the large hand clung to the side of your waist... all attached to the source of warmth to your left, Taehyung. His dark locks a mess on the pillow, his bare upper body now fully on display in the daylight and his polka dot pajama pants haven travelled down a bit too far low for your sanity... Cursed be the eyes in your skull for travelling down the view. You would've noticed it sooner or later regardless, especially since your thigh was  a hair between touching it. It, being the weird relief of knowing he got some deep relaxing sleep in... but with an awkward morning surprise... and his arm wouldn't grant you freedom without you accidentally or intentionally having to wake him up. You carefully shifted to at least have your thighs at a safer distance, but your bed wasn't intended for two people, so it was easier said than done. His grip suddenly tightened and a low groan escaped him as he shifted. Why did you feel fear as if you shouldn’t be present in your bed in which he entered himself. If anyone Taehyung should be the one fearing his life right now. His thumb caressed your side gently and it felt nice... soothing. Until his eyes suddenly opened wide with a soft gasp as you felt his morning hard on grace against your thigh. Eyes that pleaded and begged you didn't notice pierced into yours and you decided to play along. "Did you sleep well?" His hand quickly retreated to your disappointment. "Sorry i... I did it in my sleep it wasn't-" "It's ok, you said you sleep well holding something and being held didn't feel too bad..." "Well, in that case, I actually slept better than I have in a really long time." He said, voice raspy and deep still. He rolled onto his back, thankfully, and placed his hand behind his head. "Did you?" "Huh?" "Did you sleep well?" "In fact, I did." You said, answering truthfully and resisting the urge to put your head on his bare chest. If only the lord or whoever would stop testing me... "Hungry?" He asked. You nodded. "Great, I'll fix something ok, but close your eyes." "Why?" "I'm shirtless." ... right. You covered your eyes with your hands and the warmth left your side as he got up and escaped the room. You slowly got up, trying to win some time for him but a few brief seconds later heard the sound of the bathroom door down the hall closing and locking. Yikes. That went smoother than expected. You set up some tea, knowing Taehyung described coffee as the closest to unlethal poison you could find, you knew he'd prefer tea or hot chocolate and that there was no use to ask. You knew him too well. It was nice having him here. And waking up with a strong arm around your waist wasn't too bad either... if only you could've let yourself enjoy the moment instead of freaking out, what if he grew cautious now and you'd never experience it again? You sighed softly, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. After a while, the kettle clicked and you poured some water into each mug. It had been a while now... ... was he meditating in there? There was no sound of the shower, or anything, not that you were listening. Would it be weird if you asked if he was ok? Since the kettle was off the entire apartment became significantly more silent. You heard a faint mumble. "Fuck..." You swallowed. Ear please momentarily turn off, mind and imagination too please. You reached to put the kettle back on but since the water was already hot it clicked off again after 5 seconds. The bathroom door opened and you braced yourself to not look down. Luckily, he was now wearing his oversized sweater or else you would've failed immediately. He let out a soft chuckle. "I spaced out." His cheeks were flushed red and glowing. Right. "I made you some tea." -- Why were deep topics always easier to talk about at night? Were people like clams? You wake up and it opens a little and once we hit the night the clam is fully open and then closes during sleep to a new no-talk-me-I-not-have-tea-yet to ask-me-about-how-i-view-existentialism cycle? Or were nights just vulnerable with the darkness? In that case you should metaphorically speaking be an open clam all day during winter when the sun goes into its own hibernation. But here you were again, just like last night, except... 20 minutes into the sudden power outage that made your impromptu movie night come to a halt. And it was getting really cold. Bundled up under a cover together, staring at the flicker of the candle on the coffee table in silence. "I was going to offer to make you tea to warm you up but the kettle..." Taehyung said with a soft chuckle. "The power will probably come back any moment soon." He said optimistically. As you looked out of the window earlier, you noticed it wasn't just your place, but the entire block seemed to have an outage. Unusual. But the current roaring rain storm outside likely had something to do with it. The wind was aggressive, the windows shook, it whistled in a creepy way and the trees outside rustled loudly. "How about we play a game?" Taehyung suddenly suggested, breaking off the silence again. He was feeling awkward, you could tell. He always rested his hands in his lap, fidgeting or poking at the cuticles of his nails when he felt awkward. "Sure, what should we play?" His face lit up. "Questions and answers? I can start!" "Shoot!" You folded your legs and shifted to face him on the couch. "What's your ideal type." ... he... immediately went there. "Looks or personality?" Taehyung shrugged. "Both." "Well it depends on the vibe they give off of course... and mainly. I guess tall, but it's not that important, wide shoulders are always nice." You paused to think, how can I describe Taehyung without it sounding like I'm describing Taehyung. "Funny, caring, optimistic, outgoing..." "Like me!" He smiled widely. You leaned back, squinting while caressing your chin, examining him playfully. "Hmmmn" He placed his hands under his jaw, like he was displaying his face and batted his eyelashes. "Not bad, not bad." He looked disappointed. "Just not bad?" You playfully nudged his arm. "It's your turn to answer. "Fine." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest but cracking a giggle. "I'll ask you the same question." "Very original, you." "It's called recycling, so tell me." "I did." "Huh?" "You." Your heart froze briefly before beginning to pound. "Me?" "Mn!" He said confidently. "You're not bad" he mocked. You swallowed. "I have a question about the rules." "Go on" "If I ask you anything, do you have to tell the truth?" "Yes! Nothing but. So you better tell me what you actually think rather than 'not bad'" "Is the friend you talked about actually you? And am I the person?" He tensed up, swallowing. "I guess it was obvious..." he mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking down at his lap. "I just..." he began, but reluctance interrupted him. "I understand." You said. He looked up, seemingly surprised yet still tensed "I make you feel less lonely." He nodded slowly. "Which makes sense. After all we're best friends." You continued. "... right." He looked away. "Best friends." Taehyung reached up to move his hair away from his eyes, still facing down as if he was considering something. "So... what do you think of me?" His voice sounded more serious. Where to start of course he was gorgeous! Wide shoulders, a build you'd die to slide your hands down, dark big eyes, a sweet smile with plump lips, sculpted perfectly and his honey skin. Person wise... he was someone you'd want to have as your person. "A nice person" He scoffed. "Seriously?" He seemed upset. He finally looked up, meeting your gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. The warm light from the candle made his face glow even more. "I mean person as in the person you have, a your-person" "A nice your-person?" He tilted his head. "You told me yesterday in bed that you can feel like someone is your person because they bring you comfort and make all your problems go away and you feel better just by being in their presence! A nice that-type-of-person." "But I was talking about you!" He pleaded "And now I'm talking about you." "You are my person, what do you mean?" He asked, placing emphasis on "my" "That you're my person too. Am I being unclear?" "No, not at all. I just wanted to hear you say it." "So you tricked me?" You scoffed. "Not really." He leaned closer. "But maybe I set you up and you simply walked into my trap." "So now what? We're just going to sit here in denial over the fact that we both admitted to being each other's person?" You questioned, feeling slightly panicky and picking at your nails. Was this platonic or not? "We don't have to" he grinned. "But to be clear, I'm not talking about you being my person as in my other half, my best friend type person, even though you are that too bit this isn't it." "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with me?" He tensed up again. Fuck it. "Then just say it, stop confusing me with your riddles and metaphors and I won't do the same. Just tell me-" His hand pressed against the back of your head as he leaned in almost all the way. He caressed the back of your head gently and your gaze dropped to his soft pink lips with the tiny freckle to the side. You leaned in close enough to brush a gentle touch before Taehyung pressed you closer for your lips to finally collide. It started off desperate yet a little shy. You pressed back, grabbing at his sides and the kiss deepened. Your heart was pounding. Never did you expect he'd just go for it and kiss you when you showed some bold courage towards him but you didn’t have a slightest regret because he tasted so good against your mouth. His plump pink lips so passionate, so needy but also so gentle and triggering an explosion in your chest. Taehyung leaned over you, making you lay down on the couch as he crawled on top and it turned into an even wilder heated make out. Your hand tangled into his hair, his hand rubbed against the side of your waist under your top. Fearing it'd be the first, last and only, you wanted every single piece of this moment you could have. Unintentional, his touch triggered a soft moan to escape your throat, which subsequently triggered a groan from Taehyung. Making a sound like that with his voice should be illegal. It did things to you, things you didn't want to confess. But the box of secret confessions was torn open within seconds as Taehyung, a heavy breathing mess suddenly pulled away from your lips and landed by your ear, exhaling deeply. "Fuck, I'm hard." He groaned and you knew the box was flying out the windows with your filthy confession floating aimlessly around for him to hear but all you managed to stutter out was a choked "huh?" "If you knew how long I've wanted you for." He whispered. "How scared I've been of being rejected because I knew it'd shatter me." The hopeless romantic you knew he was made his attendance known. "A friend?" You chuckled. "Maybe I set myself up with that one, I admit. But I was hoping you'd catch on." He chuckled, still breathless. He planted a kiss against your neck. Were you about to have sex? Would it lead to that? Did you mind? Certainly not... Taehyung pushed up slightly, looking down at you. "May I?" You nodded and he smiled widely, pressing a kiss to your lips. Shifting, he easily found his place between your thighs and grinded up against you slowly with pressure, causing both of you to exhale into a sweet needy moan. Your feelings felt scattered all over the place but this wasn't the time to pick them up. You wanted to let go, to surrender, just for this moment. Let go of everything clawing at your back, clouding the sunny skies and draining you. There is nothing more exhausting than smiling pretending everything is ok while whatever inflated issue in beast form is clawing its nails across your back and the scars sting like lemon juice was just rubbed all over you, feeling disgusting and sticky, let alone in pain and with a sore back from the held tension. He grinded again, sensually this time as the tip of his nose travelled up your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "Mmm" he hummed softly. Your hand made its way to his nape as he settled by your neck. "I could fall asleep here." He chuckled. "Right here in your neck, it's so warm and smells so nice. It's more effective than lavender." "Are you enchanted by my odor?" He laughed his trademark bubble laugh. "I wish you knew how much fun you are." He squeezed you, rubbing up firmer to you with a desperate grunt. "Fuck I can't take it anymore." He stood on his knees, crossing his arms in front of him and grabbing the hem of his sweater, pulling it up and off, exposing his soft skin and toned chest as it fell to the floor. His hand reached for the button on his pants but before making it to the zipper his attention returned back to you with his hands sliding up under your top and pulling it up over your head. "I just want to make sure again... is it ok?" He asked, eyes big. "Yes, touch me, kiss me, do whatever you want just don’t leave the couch. At least not without me." He smirked at this, finally able to surrender to his greed. Taehyung reached for the waistline of your pants, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them down your hips with your underwear going off with them. His fingers softly rakes over your skin as he travelled down your legs, your hips lifted to assist him and then they were tossed onto the floor. He reached for his own zipper again but you sat up, quickly swatting his hand away and reaching for it yourself. He was on his knees between your thighs. You pulled them down, sliding your hands over his soft curved hips, revealing his tight fitted boxers with little to any space left for his hard on. You swallowed. He blushed. Relieved that Taehyung took over the lead again you lied back down as his hands gently pushed you back, slipping the bra straps off your shoulders and reaching behind you to unhook and free you from your final piece of clothing. But with this one he wasn't in a rush. He slowly tugged at the lacey fabric, revealing your chest to him as he bit his lip. "Wow." He mumbled and his patience was gone. One hand grabbed your left boob, feeling it and squeezing it softly as the other slipped into his boxer to touch himself. He whimpered, seemingly trembling as a result of his desperation and the discomfort he must be feeling in those tight pair of... he let go of your boob, quickly pulling his boxers down and himself out. You felt your core twist and ache and his boxers joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Taehyung fell forward onto all fours on top of you. Fully exposed, fully erect and a full sight to take in in the dim light in the dark. Distracted and eyes travelling all over him, his hand suddenly cupped your chin, tilting it up for you to face him. His nose graced over yours in a sweet eskimo kiss before his lips, just as gently pressed to yours. Taehyung's hand slid down your neck, your chest and down until he found himself. Your toes curled as you felt his touch where you wanted him the most in this moment, the tip of him slowly sliding up and down your slit, triggering your need even more. Taehyung let out a shaky exhale. His lips were parted and eyes staring right down at your exposed curves. He positioned himself, slowly sliding the tip in, just to feel... just to get some urgent relief... he leaned his head back and his hands landed a tight grip of your waist. He couldn't take it anymore. Slowly and carefully he began to push. Making sure by studying your every expression that he wasn't hurting you and that it felt good. A sweet whimper escaped you, causing him to grin in delight as he pushed in deeper. He was thick... the gentle stretch he caused felt amazing and you couldn't stop yourself from clenching around him, making him moan and managing to make you even wetter just by the sound. With a soft grunt he slipped in all the way. Giving you a moment to adjust to his size, he moved his hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. His touch felt like magic. Like a gentle feather smoothing over your cheek, but slender and strong, with long dainty beautiful fingers. You leaned into his touch. "Does it feel ok?" He whispered. You gave a reassuring nod. He pulled his hips back and thrusted back in, not too soft and not too hard he picked up a slow but deep rhythm for his movements. Your hands felt their way up and across his back, studying every curve and where he naturally flexed as he moved. His hands were firmly holding you in place at the waist, every desperate exhale and every shaky inhale sending almost an ASMR like tingle down your spine via your ear until your name suddenly slipped his lips. Most people feel a fuzzy like feeling inside hearing their proper name be called but this... this was unlike no other time. His deep voice, following a whimper, exhaling your name like a magic spell and it fading into a shiver-causing moan. To put it simply it was the sexiest thing you've ever heard and it activated a whole new part within you that felt foreign but so so so good. Like your blood had suddenly turned into liquid gold, all happy hormones releasing in a firework spelling the world "nothing else matters" in an imaginary sky. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, moaning his name out felt liberating. And it clearly triggered an equal reaction. His cheeks were already flushed and his eyes went wide. He smirked, growing more desperate, fucking your harder and deeper, chasing release. "Please cum for me." He whispered, pleading. "Please." He didn't need to place a formal request, you were already loosing yourself. The only sound echoing in the darkness being the roaring wind and rain along with your breaths and groans and the sound of his hips and your thighs. Wet, heavenly sounds to you. His sweet moans, his broad back, his dick... everything about him made you feel euphoric. The ever building tension below, the sweat forming on his forehead... "I'm gonna cum" he whimpered. Thinking your body couldn't possibly react stronger to him than it already was, it did. The thrusts grew faster, grunts louder and you could feel yourself leak even more. Back arching, tension growing... it felt even tighter now... you could feel him so well, every movement until you suddenly came un-done with a loud whimper to his ear, setting him off into his own orgasm, cumming deep inside with a string of "oh"s and groans, gritting his teeth together and tensing his face in a greedy expression. He slowed down to a halt, remaining inside, breathless on top of you. The light on the sofa table had reached its end and the faint scent of smoke filled the air as the flame went out, making the room completely pitch black. Taehyung's face nuzzled softly against your neck, inhaling the scent of you deeply  and being soothed. "Wow." He coughed, followed by a groan. "Wow." You repeated, happy that the light went out so he couldn’t see your flushed face. "You ok?" He whispered, vulnerability present in his voice. "I didn't go to hard right?" "It was amazing." He let out a breath of release and an awkward chuckle. "I'll pull out.." he said shyly, moving his hips back slowly and gently, slipping out. To your surprise, Taehyung climbed off of you, standing on his feet. The cold air made your nipples ache and your skin shiver. You wanted your human blanket and source of heat back. But you didn’t have to wait for long. A pair of strong arms slid in under you, lifting you up with ease. "The sofa is too tiny." He carried you into your bedroom, gently putting you back down on the bed and laying down on his side next to you, pulling you close to his chest where his heart was still pounding hard. He hugged you tight, caressing the back of your head. His lips pressed against the crown of your head gently. "My good girl." He whispered, sounding almost proud. Your cheeks burned and a weird sense to cry bubbled up but you quickly swallowed it and hugged him tighter, burying your face against his chest. Never had you thought being called a good girl, specifically "Taehyung's" good girl would be able to move you to tears. But maybe it's what you needed to hear, mixed with the hormonal serotonin cocktail your body just released upon you. "You'll always have me." He nuzzled his nose in your hair. With a click the power came back on, including your pink hue nightstand lamp next to the bed. Taehyung's cheeks were deeply flushed, amplified by the flattering pink light cast over him. You giggled.   Had this really just happened? Because it felt so right. Or was it just the relief of sex? But masturbating had never made you feel this emotional before... You looked up at Taehyung's face again and he smiled softly, his hand caressing your bare back up and down. It was definitely him.
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I feel like you've given most spn related things some lil spice but I always love the spice on this : hot spicy take on the "Dean is the most horrible character and ruins everyone's life and Sam and Cas are poor little meow meows who only do bad things sometimes because tyran Dean farted in their direction" takes that are not really only said by anti-Dean peeps ? Obsessed with that incredible thesis and would love the added spice ❤
SPICY HOT HOT GHOST PEPPERS CAROLINA REAPERS HELP I'M BURNING
I really try to respect other people’s opinions, and I believe there are a wealth of ways to interpret a story, and I think that’s a deeply beautiful thing. This applies to interpretations I don't agree with and outright dislike as well. That said, some opinions are simply and objectively bad, dishonest, and/or demonstrably false, and I truly do not believe you can sit down and honestly watch through the show with an open mind about all the characters, truly pay attention to what they do, say, and believe, and come to the conclusion that this show is about an evil manipulative abusive man terrorizing his pure and sinless brother and friend. It is an interpretation built from cherry picking facts to suit an ugly, miserable theory, making Mount Everest out of a bunch of the tiny mole hills, making the worst possible presumptions of feelings and intentions, and holding characters to completely different standards in order to neatly divide them into "abused" and "abuser" in a way that, frankly, fetishizes the abused person. I despise this interpretation of the story with every fiber of my being, and I have absolutely no respect for the opinion of anyone who peddles it, regardless of who they cast as villain/victim (because people have also done this with the others—it’s just more “popular” to do it with Dean... I mean... does anyone else remember how people were shitting on Sam after his emotional reaction in 14.12? Calling him an evil abuser? Because I do).
The thing that always gets me about this take isn't just how dishonest, unfair, mean-spirited, and compassionless it is in its treatment of Dean’s feelings, circumstances, and intentions... but how deeply reductive and offensive it is toward Sam and Castiel, sucking away their identities to turn them into effigies to mourn for their sad, Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to their "abuser". Further, it grips the heart of the show—the relationship between Sam and Dean, and then the relationship among TFW as a whole—in a tight, uncompromising fist and pulverizes it. It literally rips out the heart of the show (the RELATIONSHIPS) and replaces it with something unprepossessing of any merit: A miserable, 15 years long story about a malicious abuser getting away with terrorizing those closest to him for his entire life, while his poor abuse victims suffer through until they die for him/happy to be reunited with him because they “don’t know any better” and never ever learned better, I guess. What a stupid, sad sack of a story.
Castiel is a thousands of years old celestial being who has literally beaten Dean into the pavement under no form of mind control, and has shown over and over again that he will do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whatever Dean thinks about being sidelined. If he thinks whatever he is doing is in Dean's best interest, he literally does not care how Dean feels about it. He will nod and smile and then fly off and swallow thousands of souls with Dean begging him not to, shove Dean out of the way to attack the big bad, leave Dean alone in Purgatory, refuse to come out of Purgatory so he can self-flagellate, fly off with the angel tablet, help Sam with the Book of the Damned, let Lucifer possess him without anyone's knowledge or agreement, come into Dean's room under the guise of apologizing for ghosting him so that he can steal The Colt out from under his pillow and murder someone, decide not to murder that person and still prevent Sam and Dean from helping by knocking them both unconscious, get himself killed, make a deal to trade his life for Jack's and never tell anyone, hide information and worries and ignore phone calls, ghost Sam and Dean, and bicker and fight with Dean as if they are a married couple. Love sickness and feelings of worthlessness (which Cas has a wealth of reasons to feel—many of which aren’t even related to Dean but to his heavenly family) are reinterpreted as the result of some sort of constant, terrorizing emotional abuse. Power and authority that Dean does not actually have is forced into his hands by these fans. Maybe listen when Cas says, “Hey—not everything is your fault.” Maybe listen when he says “I loved the whole world because of you”, calls Dean a role model, says he enjoys their conversations, offers to die with him and dies for him multiple times. Maybe treat these feelings as genuine and valid and HIS and not as the delusions of some poor manipulated baby. 
Sam is framed this way even more often than Cas, and it's a damn shame, because what I typically see is this: Sam’s development into a mediator and peacemaker is twisted and reinterpreted as coming from a place of weakness and/or fear. Rationality, maturity, wisdom, and compassion are not the traits of a scared, powerless child. They are the traits of a mature adult, who has been beaten down by life, and fought and raged against his circumstances, and somehow come out of it with more kindness and understanding and strength instead of less. He has made his own decisions whenever it was possible, within the set of circumstances doled out to him. From telling his dad to go fuck himself and going to college, to getting back into hunting to avenge Jess (NOT because of Dean—Dean took him home without complaint at the end of the woman in white case), to continuing to hunt after their father died because he wanted to feel close to him (Dean was actually weirded out and sort of disgusted by this), raging and fighting to save Dean from his deal against Dean’s wishes, continuing to hunt and working with Ruby (directly against Dean’s dying wish), drinking demon blood, jumping in the cage, leaving hunting to go be with Amelia, coming back to hunting to save Kevin, fighting with Dean over what he had with Amelia and threatening to leave if Dean didn't shut his mouth, leaving Amelia to go back to hunting (Dean ultimately suggests he go back to her—Sam chooses to stay), trying to kill Benny, demanding to be the one to do The Trials and saying he is going to SURVIVE them—that being the ENTIRE POINT, losing that resolve in a fit of depression but choosing to drop the knife, demanding space from Dean (and being given it), fighting to save Demon Dean who didn’t want to be found or saved, using the Book of the Damned against Dean’s wishes, telling Charlie that this is what he wants—that he used to want normal but now all he wants is to hunt with Dean and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t have that, unleashing the Darkness in his desperation to keep Dean with him and even saying, “I would do it again” in the aftermath, saving the town being destroyed by Amara, getting into The Cage with Lucifer, leading a team against the British Men of Letters, nurturing Jack, punching Dean in the face when he was going to sacrifice himself, leading more hunters, wielding a gun against Chuck... and that’s just some highlights. Sam Fucking Winchester does not need your bullshit about him being some sad, scared, helpless baby lorded over by mean old Dean who has never let him do anything he wants. 
Yes, in the text itself, there is jealousy and resentment at times, and there is legitimate and righteous anger on Sam’s part on a few occasions. There is blame cast on Dean by Sam for some of these choices/circumstances. Some of those moments where Dean is blamed are legitimate, and some of them... frankly, are not. Within the framework of the fucked up dynamics of the way they were raised, Sam and some fans bristle when they feel Dean is casting himself as the parent he is not, but Sam also has been guilty in the past of trying to reframe himself as Dean’s child when things got tough. Neither of them is responsible for the origin of that dynamic, but they BOTH have responsibility to change it, and they both, ultimately, succeed in doing so. For Sam, his part comes in recognizing and learning to fully own his own choices. Recognizing that he is not a child, and he is certainly not Dean’s child, and it isn’t just “Mummy—loosen the grip”, but Sam has to too—not claim independence only to blame Dean for his choices when his own decisions have an ultimate outcome he is unhappy with. That is a legitimate arc that Sam goes through imo, but he comes out the other side of it, and he and Dean relate to each other much better as peers from then on—and I’d like to note that throughout the entire series, when they don’t relate as perfect peers and teammates, it isn’t always Dean “bossing Sam around”, but Sam also trying to sideline Dean and yes—boss him around. And when they lied and hurt each other and yes, even manipulated each other, Dean most certainly wasn't always the one doing the lying and hurting and manipulating. Always, always, ALWAYS, they both had an understandable point of view, and it was complex, and you could understand why they made the choices they did, even if you thought of those choices as being wrong ones. 
I also would like to point out (because this is basically what I see all of the time) that Dean being hurt by someone or simply voicing his feelings or opinion is in no way abusive or manipulative. Dean is certainly charismatic and loved and his returning love and respect is often deeply desired, but he is not an actual siren, who bends people to his will simply by speaking or being. People are, in fact, able to tell him “no”, and frequently FREQUENTLY do. Further more, no one is owed his affection, his unwavering loyalty, or his trust. He has a right to his boundaries, regardless of if it makes some poor sad sap feel deprived of the “wellspring of coveted love” while he works through things. He can be hurt and angry, and he can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, and he can be flawed, and broken. [Insert Castiel's speech from 15.18 here]. So can Sam. So can Cas. None of them are manipulating each other by virtue of getting angry, feeling hurt, being traumatized, needing space, or having differing opinions or feelings. Sam didn’t punch Dean in the face in 14.12 because he's a cruel, manipulative abuser trying to force Dean under his thumb. He didn’t work behind Dean’s back with Ruby, insist on doing The Trials, beg Dean to use Doc Benton’s alchemy, use the Book of the Damned to cure Dean, pump him full of blood to cure him of being a demon despite the fact that it might kill him, or scream at him and fight him for wanting to get in the Ma’lak box because he “doesn’t respect his autonomy” and “wants to control him” and “doesn’t respect his right to his own body”. He did it because he loves him desperately, and Dean could stand to fucking hate himself less, and he fiercely wanted Dean to live even when Dean didn’t want to or couldn’t picture what that could be like. He didn’t force Dean to do anything simply by opening his mouth to voice disagreement and swaying Dean when he did so. Now reverse that. 
Cas didn't beat Dean into the ground in season 5 because he wanted to terrorize him into never going against Castiel ever again. He didn’t go behind his back dozens of times, sideline him, go MIA, all because he wanted to manipulate and control Dean and punish him. He didn’t throw sassy remarks at him to shatter his self-esteem. Now reverse that. 
*Breathes*
Anyway, fuck "X is abusive” interpretations. 
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space-mermaid-writing · 3 years ago
Text
House Arrest [Loki X Reader] Chapter 2
Summary: You are Clint’s 'little' sister and actually a trained Shield agent. But you gave that up a few years ago and became a Chef, because you wanted a normal live. Then one day Natasha shows up at your door and takes you to the Avenger Tower for a while for security reasons.
Tags: Reader is an former Shield Agent, chef!reader, Reader Barton, 2012 Avenger vibes, everything is still alright, Slice of Life, Avengers Family, Loki has a good heart, still the god of mischief, Slow Burn, mention of food and cooking
Read it on AO3
Chapter 2: Not the new kitchen help
You can now call a cozy apartment with two rooms and a nice bathroom your own. You have stored your things in the bedroom and are now looking around the tower. The living rooms seem to be spread over several levels. Either there are really a lot of people living here or they tried to keep a little space to avoid stepping on each other's toes all the time. Living and working together can be quite a challenge for some people. The floors above consist - judging by the signs - of labs and various development rooms. Most of it is probably technical stuff, but some of the doors also have concerning warnings, and you don't want to spend your first day trying to figure out if they're genuine.
You find the outdoor platform with the big A and see, then it’s connected to some sort of party or lounge room. There are several couch sets and a rather nicely equipped bar. Overall, everything is very spacious and you're sure you can walk around here for a few days without anyone noticing your presence. At least once, you think you've lost your bearings for a moment, but then you find your way back to the elevators. On the other hand, there was surprisingly little going on up here.
All floors below the living area seem to be offices, at least the names of the elevator buttons suggest that. You don't feel like visiting them right now, because the exploration tour has left you pretty hungry. The last meal was also your breakfast this morning and now it's almost afternoon. So you look for the room that interests you the most anyway. And you find it near the lounge: a wonderfully large kitchen with fantastic equipment. You explore it with interest and notice that it‘s visibly little used. Among the people and other beings here, there seems to be no one enjoying cooking. Saving the world probably takes up enough of their time. As you open the refrigerator, a voice suddenly comes from somewhere, startling you briefly at first. "Good afternoon, Miss Barton. If you have any requests regarding the food or ingredients, please let me know." You look around, but can't see anyone. "My name is JARVIS," the voice explains. "I am an A.I. and I am available to assist you." "Uh-huh...hello," you merely reply, processing this information. Jarvis, meanwhile, continues talking. "Welcome to the Tower. The other Avenger members have been notified of your arrival in a memo." "Okay, thanks." It‘s a bit weird talking to a room, but apparently modern technology has already reached the next level here. Hearing nothing more, you start inspecting the contents of the refrigerator. The result is quite sobering. "It's all just fast foods," you grumble. "Would you like to suggest changes in the selection?", Jarvis asks. "Yes! Please and thank you." "You're welcome to make a shopping list, and I'll have everything ordered." Why not? Regardless of whether a computer can really do it, you nod. "Okay." "A personal tablet will be calibrated for you. You can pick it up from Mr. Banner."
A few minutes later you find yourself in the labs on the upper floors. The sterile lit hallway reminds you much more of Shield than the lower floors. You turn a corner and have to go down some stairs that lead you into a large room. Here, tables are jumbled with various types of modern computers and equipment. Further back is a robotic arm soldering a hard drive all by itself with a quiet whir. It’s a dream for any technology enthusiast. From one corner, you hear typing and beeping, followed by quiet murmurs. That's where you turn, looking at the whiteboards on the wall along the way, where complicated calculations and drawings could be seen. Then suddenly, right in front of you, a hologram appears in the air and you stop, rooted to the spot. "Oops!" "Oh, sorry." A head pops up from behind a nearby screen and you recognize Bruce Banner. His face is always shown on the news whenever there's been a shot of Hulk. But now you're more interested in the hologram as you take a closer look. It shows a nebulous, pulsating entity. "What is that?" you ask the scientist. "We got some cosmic stones. This was in one of them." "It's moving. Is it alive?" "Living would be an exaggeration, but there is energy present. My name is Dr. Banner, by the way." He reduzes the size the hologram so it's out of your way. "Barton, nice to meet you." "Clint's sister, I read the file. He never mentioned you though." "I didn't want any attention, but didn't quite work out, I guess." Bruce smiles sympathetically and reaches for a cup of tea, which, judging by his expression after the first sip, seems to be cold. You ask for the tablet you came for, and Bruce looks around searchingly. There are a few of them in the room, but the display of one lights up, drawing your attention. You see your name displayed and simply conclude that it's the right one. Briefly you say thank and goodbye, before you go back to your room and start making a shopping list. Please fresh ingredients and please deliver today.
Afterwards, you browse around a bit. The tablet, like every electronic device in the house, seems connected to the main computer and to Jarvis. You pull up a few files on your new housemates and read them curiously. At least the parts that are publicly available. You also take the opportunity to look for your own name. Because even though you know that your records were officially destroyed when you left, you know that no data is ever really gone. So you're almost surprised when you find only a few sentences about yourself and not even a photo. Mainly it was about your and Clint's entry into Shield at a young age as orphans. You had received a pretty good education, which may have also kept you from going off the rails. Besides hand-to-hand combat and firearms training, your specialty was handling knives, while your brother took up bows and arrows. For foreign missions, you had also had to learn various languages and had chosen the widely spoken Spanish and Russian. But you didn't work for Shield for a long time, instead opting out of your career early on. It just wasn't the life you wanted to lead. So you changed cities and mingled with the civilian population. And before you knew it, your talent with a knife led you into a traditional apprenticeship as a chef. You enjoyed this work more than having to fight to death, and you even expanded your knowledge and skills during a year abroad in France. But there is very little of all this in your records.
You set the tablet aside and stretch out on your new bed. Normally, you would be in full swing at work right now. A glance at the clock reveals that it's already early evening. Rush hour in most of the restaurants. But here? Without a task or a plan, there's not much you can do. On the other hand, a little vacation wouldn't hurt you.
At some point, the tablet gave a soft ping and when you checked, it was a notification that the refrigerator and all the pantries had been restocked. By now you are very hungry and you heard nothing about a joint dinner time, so you decide to cook yourself something. Out of sheer habit and to avoid getting your clothes dirty, you put on a chef's jacket and apron you brought from home and go into the kitchen. There's a radio in one corner that you turn on. Jarvis really did get everything you had asked for. It was a dream come true. Now in a much better mood, you grab a pan and get to work. From the freezer, you pull out a fish, which you gut and fill with fresh herbs. It goes into the pan first. Then it's the turn of the potatoes, which are peeled, boiled and rolled in rosemary.
You're so absorbed in your work - you've just poked a knife into the boiling potatoes to see if they're already done - that you don't notice a visitor, who had entered the kitchen at some point, until he makes himself known. "I'll have the course menu and a white wine to go with it." Somewhat confused, you look up as you hear the man's voice and see Tony Stark standing at the sideboard across from you. He notices your look and returns it with a smile. "I didn't realize we hired a new kitchen help." You frown and take a sharpening rod in your free hand to sharpen your knife while not taking your eyes off Tony. "Oh, I'm not a new kitchen help," you clarify. "I'm a chef." "Excuse me. Then would the chef please serve me the course menu and a white wine?" The trillionaire indicates a polite bow, but you merely turn to the stove and take the potatoes off it. You then retrieve a plate from the cupboard. "Jarvis", you direct your voice to the computer, hoping it’s still listening. "Would you please explain to Mr. Stark that I'm not here to cook for him and that he'll have to order his course menu, if he really wants one, from the Chinese place next door?" "Mr. Stark, I'm supposed to-." "I heard her, Jarvis," Tony interrupts the A.I., eyeing you a little more closely now. "That does make me wonder what you're doing here, Miss...? Aside from the fact that there's no Chinese working next door." "Then you should make one move in there," you replay amused. As you do, you wipe your fingers on the cloth you've hung on the apron at your hip and prep your dish. Just as Tony is about to say something clever, the door opens and another person walks in. You recognize Thor at first glance. "What's that delicious smell in the air?", he asks, looking around curiously. You smile and point to the stove. "I was just cooking. There's still some left for you to take." With that, you want to go to your room, but Tony stops you. "Oh, he gets something, but I don't?", he complains. You shrug your shoulders. "He didn't want a whole menu." With that, you disappear through the door and go back to your living quarters. There you quickly change into something comfy and make yourself comfortable on the couch, where you watch an episode of your favorite show while you eat. A little company would be nice, but you don't feel like meeting more people you don't know yet. And you don't feel like searching for Natasha in this huge complex. So you’re fine with being by your own right own.
After dinner, you continue watching the show, but eventually you realize you're getting tired. It really had been an eventful and long day. So you quickly take your dirty dishes back to the kitchen. But just as you're closing the dishwasher, Tony comes back in and leans against the frame with his arms crossed. "So… you‘re a Barton." Apparently he had spent a few minutes of his precious time gathering information about you and then waited for you to reappear. "Surprised there's another one?" you ask with a smirk. He takes that as a sign that you're not holding a grudge against him. He pushes himself off the door frame and comes closer, now leaning his arms on the kitchen island. "Nothing about Legolas surprises me anymore. Met his wife and kids the other day. Nice family. Are you guys a whole circus?" "Not anymore." You shrug. "So, what’s your deal?", he wants to know. "You left Shield in your early twenties. What's normal life like out there? No one waiting for you to come home?" You turn on the dishwasher and grab a water bottle from the supply. "Life is nice. Often stressful, but I have to worry a lot less about getting killed." You don't answer Tony's last question. It's really none of his business. "That is when you're not being yanked out of that life and brought into the house of superheroes", you add. "You'll get used to it. Both that we're super and that we're heroes. I promise." You laugh at his words. Tony seems to be a real egocentric, but also a humorous person. "Well, let's see", you reply, "Now if the welcome speech is over, I'd like to go to bed." "I won't keep anyone away from their beauty sleep. Good night." You wish him the same, then head back to your room, where you make yourself comfortable on the large bed. The strange surroundings were unfamiliar, but not you don't feel uncomfortable and so you soon fall asleep.
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