#But aside from that his story is so compelling and interesting

[eradicatetehnormal]

Bitches are haters. Suemitsu's social link is fire actually.

[emeraldspiral]

So another interesting thing about Jane Eyre is its take on relationship inequality.

Like, Jane is 18 at the beginning of the story and Rochester is said to be something like 35-38. And it's not casually brushed aside like that was normal back in the day. It wasn't. Concerns about the age gap are raised within the text. But the story emphasizes that Jane feels comfortable accepting Rochester's proposal, despite the age difference, the class difference, and him being her boss, because Jane feels that Rochester regards her as an equal. When they converse, Jane doesn't feel any tension, like she has to impress him or try to read his mind and say whatever he wants to hear. She feels that he respects her and values her thoughts and isn't compelled to use his power against her if she says something to displease him. Around the midpoint of the story, Jane believes that Rochester is going to marry another woman, and resolves to leave because she's heartbroken, believing that because she is poor and plain Rochester can't possibly be as hurt by their parting as she is, and he'll forget her and move on long before she does. But it turns out to be the opposite. After finding out about Bertha, Rochester begs Jane to stay and insists he'll be miserable forever without her, while Jane, still thinking she's too poor and plain to ever attract someone like him again, resists all temptation and leaves him. And she does this specifically because she feels that if she were to compromise her morals and self-respect to be Mr. Rochester's mistress, then he would lose respect for her and the relationship would fall apart. It was only by maintaining her integrity that the relationship could stay in-tact when the reconciled at the end.

St. John Rivers on the other hand, I don't think is given a definite age, but I think he's intended to be a much younger man, probably in his early 20s. He is poor and without relations aside from his sisters or any other connections, just as Jane. Jane finds out they're actually cousins at the same time she learns she's come into a vast fortune that was willed to her rather than the Rivers, but decides to share her fortune equally with them. So she arguably had more social capital, even though she made an effort to put St. John on equal footing with her, because the money was hers by right and she could've presumably cut him off at any time, just as easily as Rochester could've terminated Jane from her job.

And yet, Jane's relationship with St. John is vastly more unequal than her relationship with Rochester. Even though Jane practically worshiped Rochester but only cares for St. John as a brother and is acutely aware of his faults, she still finds herself desperately craving his approval in a way she never did with Rochester. And St. John is willing to exploit that intentionally. He asks her to do things she doesn't want to and make sacrifices for him just because he knows she'll do anything to please him, and that's why he thinks she's the perfect wife for him. Where Rochester tries to explain himself and persuade Jane not to leave him by addressing her concerns, St. John basically tries to command Jane to marry him and refuses to accept her "no" as final. He withholds affection from Jane as a tactic to get her to compromise in order to reconcile with him when he's the one who should be apologizing to her and considering her needs and not just his own. Jane knows that she can't ever be happy with him because he doesn't respect her and his lack of respect only makes her want to seek his approval, which he is all too happy to exploit for his own benefit.

But Jane ultimately stays firm and rejects St. John's proposal of a loveless marriage, just as she rejected Rochester's proposal of an unlawful marriage, because both situations were doomed to fail if she didn't put her own self-respect first.

So this novel from 1847 was really saying that power dynamics aren't pure black and white. Age and class and wealth and status can be a factor in making a relationship unequal, but you can also be equal on pretty much all social axis and still have inequality in a relationship. What's really important is that there's mutual respect.

[glassrowboat]

Lights! Camera! Headcanons! Reca.

SFW collection of silly HCs!

- Little Miss Frog is only ever oiled by Reca. He doesn't trust anyone else to be as thorough with her joints as he is.

- Reca has multiple hats for his favorite assistant director, it's just the one we see her wearing all the time is her favorite

- If for some reason you ever needed to switch shoes with Reca, he would gladly do so. After all, what kind of love interest would he be if he couldn't even do that much? The only problem is that he looks better in your heels than you ever have.

- He has a pair of shades with a print of old TV static on the lenses. They are not practical at all but he still uses them.

- This man does not know the meaning of the word subtlety

- You're getting atrocious petnames 24/7, to the point you even begin to think he's forgotten your actual name. It's always love muffin this, honey bear that- and if you ever jokingly refer to yourself as one of them it might as well become a part of Reca’s daily vocabulary.

- He has had multiple people in the past pointing a remote at him to see if they could pause the YouTube play button in his eyes. Now, whenever he sees someone holding one close to him, Reca just snatches it because he's that fed up.

- The button can change, but he's never telling you how it works.

- “The mystery only compels you further to my character, sweetie pie.”

- Please do not trust this man with cooking. He's more of an order in kind of guy and trust that that's preferable over letting him near a stove, oven, or even a microwave on some days. However, he will set the table and clean the dishes for you- it just might take a while because he's busy editing a script.

- Has picked up tons of little facts over the years from all the research he's put behind films. You could ask the most random questions and he'll undoubtedly have an answer- even if it concerns you how he knows how to dispose of a full body.

- On that note, Reca knows a good handful of the meanings behind names, so when someone introduces themselves to him, he usually ends up deciding if that “meaning” fits their character.

- Usually, it doesn't.

- Aka: Crew members

- It's easier that way.

- Those who are a regular part of his filming crew all carry earplugs with them now as a habit after having to listen to Reca's …excited shouting.

- He disapproves of relationships amongst the cast. There's always going to be issues working with people, but he doesn't need the entire film getting pushed aside because one couple had a fight! It’s utterly nonsensical to bring that onto his set. Save that for after everything has wrapped up.

- Anyone listen to Distractible and Markiplier’s entire stunt with lenses? Reca's worse. That's your only warning.

- After your first kiss, when Reca was walking back home, all self accomplished, he jumped up and cracked his feet together- completely unironically. He's not even ashamed about it, either.

- If Reca didn't start on Broadway as part of the crew, then he at least had some experience with it. (He was the theater kid in school). He knows a good couple of songs off the top of his head at this point, and when this one particular song comes on, he always has to stop himself from dancing.

- Owns a gramophone, but it only works half the time. Reca claims it's part of its charm….

- You've watched him mix redbull and coffee together only to drink it all down in a single sitting, then walk away without an explanation. That entire night he was yapping in your ear excitedly only to fall asleep on top of you as soon as it hit 4am.

- Reca tends to repeat the stories he's told you. He just loves them so much that he gets a little ahead of himself and forgets which ones he's shared, that's all. Plus, with his flair for the dramatic and tendency to add in a new line or two, it keeps things fresh.

- Reca affectionately pinches your nose using that baby voice of his. It’s supposed to be an affectionate gesture, in his own way, but it just comes across as annoying.

- Reca will pick you up and spin you around (just like the movies) but at the same time this man will happily let himself flop into your lap with a hand to his forehead so he can lament to you about his woes. Usually, this just means he wants attention.

- He gets busy with filming a lot, to the point you both can go up to a month without really getting anything more in than a one minute call. Usually, Reca is running around during these, or he's so close to passing out after a long day that you're left with the sound of him snoring on the other end of the line.

- Because he's famous, there are actually a good couple of edits and images of Reca made into memes you see when scrolling online.

- His handwriting is comically large. To the point it takes up so much space, Reca might as well be writing a signature instead of scrawling down notes to ensure he doesn't forget a fantastic idea.

- He writes his 7's with that little line crossing it.

- Reca is the type to grab your shoulder while he's laughing. And he does this whether you know him well or not.

[hauntingofhouses]

We all already know Mizu and Akemi are narrative foils. But you know what? Lemme just say it, here's what I think:

Taigen and Mikio are foils.

Not necessarily to each other as individuals in the way that Mizu and Akemi juxtapose each other, but mostly in the contrast between their relationships with Mizu.

I've covered specific parallels between Taigen and Mikio in other posts I wrote; but as the number of parallels I'm noticing between them keeps piling up, I'm compelled to just compile them all in one post. So! This is, thus, the post in question.

First of all, let's look at their similarities.

1. Their status in society is the same. They are both samurai who lost their honour and have dreams of reclaiming it.

2. They are also both diligent as they strive to achieve this goal, they both care deeply about their work, but here as they begin to contrast, as the work in question and way they go about their goals is different:

For Mikio, his work is in taming and rearing horses; in order to prove himself, he must tame Kai—a willful and strong horse—and present it to his lord. For Taigen, his work is in sword fighting and martial arts; in order to prove himself, he must kill Mizu—a willful and strong swordsman—and present her dead body to his lord.

In the parallel above, not only are Taigen and Mikio contrasting each other, but Mizu and Kai are placed in comparison as well. And of course, Kai is Mizu's horse, and represents her. Which is why, when later, Mikio sells Kai off, it represents the way he is tossing Mizu (and their relationship) aside.

From there, the rest of the details of their character begin to contrast and juxtapose each other more clearly. So let's look at those differences, shall we?

Their backstory:

Mikio was a great samurai who was banished. A somebody to a nobody. Taigen was a fisherman’s son who rose to the top. A nobody to a somebody.

2. The first time we meet them on-screen:

Mikio is an adult. An older man. Mizu's superior in age. He is Mizu's to-be husband. A love interest. Taigen is a child. A young boy. Mizu's peer in age. He is Mizu's bully. An antagonist.

3. Their maturity and growth:

Mikio is mature, but stuck in his ways. Taigen is immature, but capable of changing and learning.

4. Their overall attitude:

Mikio is generally relaxed, easy-going and unfussy. Taigen is uptight, irritable and severe.

5. How they talk to and conduct themselves around Mizu:

Mikio is aloof, soft-spoken, and serious. Taigen is obnoxious, brash, and sarcastic. Mikio is quiet, speaking only when spoken to, even when Mizu turns to smile at him and shows openness to be near him. Taigen is loud, talking while others are silent, even when Mizu turns from him and shows no interest in conversing with him.

Mikio doesn't show much of who he is to Mizu throughout their marriage, despite their growing affection. Taigen openly shares his traumas and life story to Mizu during their brief alliance, despite their mutual antagonism.

6. Their external vs internal selves:

Mikio is calm, gentle, and considerate on the outside. Taigen is hot-headed, rude, and selfish on the outside. Mikio is cowardly and deceitful on the inside. Taigen is brave and loyal to a fault on the inside. Mikio tells Mizu that he wants to know and see all of her. But he scorns and betrays her, the woman he loves. Taigen tells Mizu that he wants to duel and kill him. But he endures torture to not betray him, the man he hates.

9. Their hair, a symbol of their honour:

Mikio's topknot is untied by Mizu during their spar. This humiliation occurs in private, the two of them alone in a rural location where no one can see them. Taigen's topknot is cut off by Mizu during their duel. This humiliation occurs in public, the two of them being watched by many others in the Shindo Dojo.

10. Their power dynamic with Mizu:

Mikio believes he is Mizu's mentor. He teaches her to throw knives, how to ride and care for horses, and about the tactical benefits of using a naginata. Taigen believes he is Mizu's equal. He views Mizu as a samurai like himself who received all the same teachings he did, and who possesses the same values.

11. Their perceptions of Mizu:

Mikio sees Mizu's feminine side first. He sees her as sweet and gentle, but also clumsy and incompetent. Taigen sees Mizu's masculine side first. He sees her as terrifying and deadly, but also strong and skilled.

12. The way they approach sparring with Mizu:

Mikio only spars with Mizu once. As the fight progresses and she is beating him, he tries to put a stop to it. When she teases/provokes him, he starts taking the fight personally and seriously, finding no enjoyment in it. Taigen spars and brawls with Mizu all the time. No matter how many times Mizu beats him, he doesn't back down. When Mizu challenges him with a chopstick, he is eager to compete with her and gladly rises up to the challenge.

Mikio and Mizu's one and only spar is a friendly match; Mizu is smiling and having fun while he grows increasingly frustrated. Taigen and Mizu's last-seen spar is a playful wrestling match; both him and Mizu are having fun and laughing.

Mikio cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, so he scorns her and walks off, avoiding her thereafter. When Taigen cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, he follows her to observe her moves and continues training in hopes to eventually beat her. After being bested by Mizu once, Mikio leaves her and sells the horse he'd previously gifted to her. After many times losing to Mizu and fighting alongside her, Taigen commends her and admits she is better than him.

13. When Mizu pins them down in a friendly spar:

Mikio sees Mizu's whole face objectively. Taigen stares at Mizu's mouth and eyes.

Mikio gets angry when she kisses him, throwing her off of him and snapping at her, calling her a monster. Taigen gets aroused, apologising, so she pulls herself off of him.

14. Mizu's blue meteorite sword is a reflection of her soul. She believes most are undeserving to face it, let alone hold it. And on that note:

Mikio is the first person (chronologically) that Mizu fights against using her sword. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) that Mizu fights against with her sword. Mikio is the first person (chronologically) to ever hold her sword, as she passes it to him, letting him wield it. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) to ever hold her sword, as she passes out, and he picks it up and carries it for her.

15. Then, last but not least, in Fowler's fortress, when she is drugged and in pain, she hears Ringo's voice in the dungeon. She then follows it to an open cell:

Mizu first sees Mikio as a hallucination, the sight of him haunting her and causing her to lose her grip on reality. Her eyes glow a surreal blue to represent this. Her Mama appears then and says Mizu's name accusingly.

Mizu then sees Taigen, but he is real, the sight of him a relief and grounding her back to reality. Her eyes return to their normal blue colour to represent this. Taigen looks at Mizu weakly and says her name softly.

Then, later, when facing Fowler, her revenge awaiting her, she instead chooses to follow her conscience (represented by Ringo's voice in her mind), putting aside her vengeance for a time, in order to save Taigen.

So that's basically all the ones I've noticed so far, but even then, I feel there's already so much that forms a contrast between these two.

What makes it especially incredible about these juxtapositions is that Mikio was Mizu's husband, the man she had fallen in love with, the one person she had ever been intimate with, the man who made her begin to accept herself, to put down her desire for vengeance and instead live a life of peace and happiness.

So for Taigen to have so many parallels with him... Do you see what I'm saying here!

Not to mention that Mizu clearly already has some burgeoning attraction to him, as indicated by how she thinks of him when asked about her desires. And Taigen clearly has shown interest as well (see: him getting a boner after their spar, him holding her hand and telling her, "We're not done yet.").

And on the topic of speculating future possibilities of this relationship, this post by @stromblessed has pointed out yet another parallel between Taigen and Mikio:

Mizu promises Taigen to meet him for their duel in autumn. Mizu fell in love with Mikio and duelled him during autumn.

With all that said, I do believe Mizu and Taigen's relationship is definitely hurtling towards something. But whether they will actually end up together in a sustainable relationship and have a happily ever after? Well, that is a whole other story; we'll just have to wait and see.

[pottersdune]

My Roman Empire for Haladriel will always be that Galadriel could have tried to turn Sauron to good the same way that he made attempt after attempt to turn her to darkness.

Imagine if she just once tried to reason with him, negotiate with him or provide conditions for his compliance. I believe he would have made a lot of concessions just to keep her with him. To be clear, I don’t think she should have done this or is in any way responsible for what he turned out to be, it’s just an interesting concept to explore.

She asks him one question on the raft: rule or save? Which he answers incorrectly. And from then on, she’s done with him. Not because they don’t have a connection or even because of Finrod. It’s because she fell so deeply and the betrayal hurts her so profoundly. She also feels like it was all an illusion and Sauron felt no connection (which we the audience know is false).

Galadriel is well and truly heartbroken throughout season 2. In every conversation she has - with Gil-Galad, Elrond, Adar, Celebrimbor, she is completely depressed. Elrond says Sauron is still in her heart, Galadriel admits that her world has lost all color without him. It is in every acting choice Morfydd makes over both seasons.

With this in mind, the best storytelling device and most heart wrenching thing the show could possibly do is have a full circle and honest conversation between Galadriel and Sauron. Galadriel needs to be honest about everything she felt for him. He needs to be honest about what he felt for her. And the gut punch will be that they had that conversation too late.

It can be after the fall of Numenor or in the last episode of the series where it’s clear that nothing can come of it because at that point he’s truly irredeemable. In order to have a satisfying relationship arc to the central relationship the entire show is based on, this is necessary. We didn’t get it in the season 2 finale and got a bunch of nonsense Marvel-esque lines from Galadriel.

To the showrunners, put the lore bros and neo cons and tradwives aside and focus on the story you have told. Admit that the entire angle of this adaption is about Sauron and Galadriel and their push and pull dynamic (which lasts for 3000 years). Trying to satisfy the loudest and angriest voices on the internet is going to satisfy no one.

Empty action sequences with binary representations of good and evil doesn’t make for a compelling story. The best story telling for a TV show format is character driven and relationship driven. Honor that. Capitalize on the insane chemistry of these actors. Otherwise, your entire story has lost meaning, cohesion and heart.

[roosterforme]

Adult Education Part 8 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Plans for the fraternity alumni fundraiser that Jessica is in charge of are starting to take shape. And things with Jake are starting to heat up. But even after she tries her best to take care of her students in her own way, she feels like she will never be successful at this college.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, smutty thigh riding, 18+

Length: 5200 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jessica settled down in the spare seat in her friend's office with her slightly stale peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a notebook. "Wait, say that again. Beer pong with micro brewed beer? Come on, Advanced Calculus. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of the frat boy vibe?" she asked with her pencil poised over the paper. 

The other woman laughed as she ate the turkey and avocado roll ups that her husband packed for her gorgeous looking lunch. Jessica would have had some of Jake's chili to bring except that she finished all of it on Sunday and Monday while she texted him about how good it was. 

"It would be an elevated frat boy vibe. I spent the weekend asking my husband what he would want out of an alumni event with his fraternity, and he came up with some pretty compelling ideas."

Jessica bit into her sandwich with a frown and chewed. "But depending on the turnout, a few kegs of fancy beer could be very expensive."

She shook her head and offered Jessica some mixed berries and a honey dipping sauce which she immediately accepted. "No, because Bradley knows a guy who owns a brewery in Solana Beach. He said he'd ask for a favor if you wanted him to."

Jessica perked up immediately. She had a friend. A friend who had a nice husband who was offering to help her out. As much as she wanted to dream big and believe she could get tenure if this thing was successful, she was afraid to hope too hard. 

But she couldn't help herself. "Solana Beach isn't that far away. You think this guy would really cut me some sort of deal? My budget from the school is pretty tiny."

She shrugged. "He was in Bradley's fraternity at UVA. He's actually a really nice guy, so I wouldn't be too surprised."

Jessica only had to think about it for another second. "Okay yes. I am very interested in this idea." Then she ate a few more berries and jotted down some other ideas they came up with. hors d'oeuvres from the culinary school

frat boys in tuxedos

sparkling wine

silent auction

As she was finishing the last item, the other woman asked, "How was your weekend with Jake?"

When Jessica met her eyes, she could tell she was blushing. But she laughed softly and said, "I think he's my boyfriend?"

"Really?" she asked, nearly dropping her turkey roll up on her lap. "I'm sorry, but are you serious? You and Jake are exclusive?"

"Yes," Jessica whispered. Right? Hadn't he made it clear he wasn't seeing anyone else and didn't want to? Oh shit. It had been so long since she'd done this, maybe she wasn't even doing it correctly. "Is that okay?"

"Oh my god! He just... I don't think... I don't ever remember mention of him having a girlfriend. Usually he just-" She cut herself off with a wince.

"Picks girls up for the night?" Jessica supplied. She sensed that about him and the way he'd told her some things about himself. But he also bought a new truck so he could make sure he was on time to see her. There was a lot to unpack here.

"Well. Yeah. But I'm not saying I'm surprised that he's into you! You're great! I'm just surprised in general."

"Same." She just hoped she wasn't about to make a fool of herself when Jake stopped by later during her office hours. When she uncrossed and recrossed her legs, she could feel the pull of the green lace against her skin underneath her cute pleated skirt, and her sheer stockings felt like silk. 

"Aside from the fact that he once called me Dr. Tits when he was belligerently drunk at my house, Jake is, and I say this a bit begrudgingly, actually really sweet. And kind. He dropped off two tickets for a Grateful Dead cover band last night since Bradley drove him around a few times after his truck broke down."

"I'm sorry.... did you say he called you Dr. Tits? Please, I'm going to need you to elaborate on that."

-----------------------------

Jake spent Monday night making the most perfect lasagna of his life and waiting until it cooled down to pack some individual containers for Jessica. Then when he left for work on Tuesday, he left them all lined up in his refrigerator so he could grab them on his way to her office hours. 

There was a guest speaker today, and Jake grabbed the empty seat next to Bradley who was trying to discreetly text his wife under the table before the lecture started. 

"What's Dr. Tits up to?" he drawled, earning an eye roll. 

"Text her yourself if you want to know," came the raspy response. "I'm going right to campus after work today to keep her company while she's on a phone conference," he added with a smirk. "Might stop by and talk to your girlfriend about her fundraiser while I'm there."

"That fraternity thing she has to do?" 

"Yeah," Bradley replied, finally putting his phone away. "Sugar asked me to be nice to her, so I'm going to try to save her some money on beer from Beta Brewing."

"Isn't that the place that ages the beer in bourbon barrels and sells it for an outrageous price?"

"Yeah," Bradley said with a laugh. "A guy who was in my fraternity owns it. I haven't seen him in a bit, but I was kind enough to text him on behalf of Jessica. Now will you please stop calling my wife Dr. Tits?"

"No," Jake replied smoothly as Maverick called everyone to attention. 

Bradley just grunted in response.

When they were released from the lecture, Jessica's office hours had already begun. Jake hadn't texted her much since he knew Tuesdays were busy for her. He just needed to get there before 7:00, because somehow if he arrived during her office hours, it made him feel like her student. And that made everything feel a little dirty. And he really fucking liked that. Plus she told him she was going to wear something sexy, and he'd been dying to find out what that meant.

He swung by his place and picked up the containers of lasagna and packed them in a cooler, and then he was off in his new truck. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd visited this part of the city before he met Jessica, but now he was constantly searching the side streets along campus for a parking spot. Tonight he found one on the same block as a familiar, blue Bronco.

Of course he got some looks from the college girls as he strolled toward the math and science building in his khaki uniform, but he was met with a glare from a man a little older than him with salt and pepper hair when he walked inside. 

"Evening," Jake drawled as the other man silently examined his uniform. He could feel eyes on him as he walked toward the elevators. It wasn't like he was forbidden to be here, so he just ignored him. This ride up to her floor and the walk down the hallway had become familiar to Jake. But when he raised his hand to knock, he heard the doorknob turn from the inside along with Jessica's muffled voice. So he leaned back against the opposite wall as the door cracked open. 

"Luca, there's no way I'm going to try out your skateboard."

"Come on, Dr. Reed. Just for a minute? It'll be really fun. But you probably shouldn't wear high heels."

She sighed and pulled her door open further, but she didn't notice Jake yet. "Fine. I'll try your skateboard on Thursday only after you show up on time and give me a full hour of your best effort."

"Sweet!" Luca said, giving her a high five. But now she was distracted by Jake as he smiled at her. 

"Not in the hallway!" Jessica shouted after Luca who set his board down and promptly picked it back up again. 

"My bad, Dr. Reed!"

Jessica was already wrapped up in Jake's arm, her lips ghosting over his. "Hey, Reedy," he whispered, and then he was being jerked away from the wall as she led him inside and closed the door, leaning back against it.

"Hi," she whispered back. Jake let his eyes drift down over her petite form and back up again, every inch of clothing and everything that was bare to him was making him salivate. She had on a rather short pleated skirt with sheer stockings and black heels. Plus he could see the telltale green strap peeking out from the white camisole as her cardigan slipped down her bare shoulder.

He swallowed hard. "You look nice, Baby. You having a good day?"

"Yes!" she gushed, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him harder this time. "My faculty meeting was blessedly canceled this morning, and I ate lunch with Advanced Calculus." 

Jake set the cooler down on her desk in the tiny office so he could have better access to her body. "That's great. You call her Advanced Calculus? That's actually so cute," he said as his hands came to rest on her hips. 

Jessica laughed, and he felt warm all over. "Yes, and she calls me Advanced Physics. And she's helping me plan that fraternity fundraiser along with her husband. Bradley actually stopped by a little while ago, before Luca was here. He's just the best. Advanced Calculus is so lucky."

"He's the best?" Jake asked, one eyebrow raised as he leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder making her shiver. "She's so lucky?"

When he ran his nose along that pretty green bra strap, she gasped. "Not as lucky as me."

Jake chuckled and murmured, "That's my smart girl." He brushed her hair aside and kissed his way from her shoulder up her neck to her ear while she clung to him. 

She cleared her throat and asked, "How was your day?" as she tried to pull away from him. But Jake kept her right where she was. 

"Better now," he promised. "Had to sit through a talk about the updates coming to my jet this summer. A new mechanical override and an updated comms system among other things."

"Ohhh," she sighed. "Did they give you a new spec sheet?" Her eyes were curious behind her glasses, and Jake was grinning.

"Sure did. You wanna see it?"

"Yes!"

"Well, that's classified, Baby."

She pouted and said, "Come on, Jake. I won't tell anyone. Can't you sneak one home with you or something?"

He ran his big hands up and down her back. "You want to work out some of the calculations, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she replied softly, and Jake was getting a little hot just thinking about her sitting in his kitchen with a pencil and a calculator. He trailed his hand down to her ass, and she was kissing him again as she touched his pins.

"If you really want to see them," he said between kisses, "I'll sneak them out." She giggled as she kissed his neck, and then his nose was buried in her hair. "God, you look so sexy, and you smell so sweet."

Her glasses bumped his cheek when she kissed his ear and raked her fingers through his hair. Every inch of the front of her body was pressed to his, and Jake just knew there was no coming back from this right now. Jessica had dressed like this with him in mind, and while her outfit was totally work appropriate, it was also a thing of fantasies. Skirts and heels and green lingerie and stockings. 

"I can't seem to stop thinking about you," she said in the sweetest voice before she sucked on his lip. He wondered if her stockings were the kind that ended at her thighs or the ones that went all the way up to her waist. He needed to know. She didn't make him wait for an answer. Jessica guided him to the chair behind her desk, and he sat down a little hard. She was standing right in front of him with her gaze fixed on his pants, and when Jake glanced down, he could see the outline of his cock as he stood at attention for her. 

"I'm sorry," he grunted, "but you turn me on so much."

"Don't apologize," she breathed, and he was treated to the sight of her sliding that cardigan down her arms. When she turned slightly and dropped it onto her desk, her skirt rode up her leg. Jake could see the lace trimmed top of her stocking hugging her thigh, and he groaned so loudly, her gaze snapped back to his. 

"Jessica." His voice was a needy whine, and for some reason this was so much worse than when he almost fucked her on his couch. Because she was his girl now, and he wanted every inch of her well acquainted with every inch of him. "Come here." When he patted his right thigh, she obeyed him immediately, coming to stand with his knee between her legs. 

Then she hesitated, and Jake didn't want to push anything. When he was just about to tell her that nothing sexual needed to happen here, he watched her reach up underneath her skirt and bend a little at the waist. His gaze shifted so rapidly from her pretty eyes to the lacy tops of her sheer stockings, he thought he might pass out. And then she started to slide that green thong down her hips to her thighs, and Jake caught the briefest glimpse of her pussy before her underwear was down her legs and her skirt fell into place once more.

"Fuck. Jessica." He was a panting mess as she stepped out of her thong and handed it to him. It was wet, and when he pressed it to his nose, it smelled incredible. And she was once again positioning herself with her legs straddling his right one before she came to rest with her pussy on his khaki covered thigh.

"Is this okay?" she whispered as her right knee nudged his cock, and his head tipped back slightly. She bit her lip and ran one gentle finger along his name tag, spelling out SERESIN while she looked him in the eye. 

"Yeah," he groaned. "God. It's more than okay." She kissed him with her palm planted on his chest, and Jake was living for the way her hips rocked forward. 

Her glasses and hair were tickling his face as she brought her other hand up to his neck, and then Jessica rocked her hips back and forward once again along his thigh. There was a smile on her lips as she kissed him and whispered, "You can set that down, you know." 

Jake was still gripping her thong in his hand, and he pressed it to his mouth and lips one more time before stuffing it in his breast pocket. The fact that she was rubbing her bare ass and pussy on his uniform had him painfully hard, but he didn't want her to stop. This was a thousand times better than any lap dance he'd ever had before. 

"You excited to see me today, Baby?" he asked, squeezing both of her knees with his hands and then guiding them up to her skirt. "This is a very warm welcome."

Her cheeks were flushed as Jake pushed her skirt up a few inches to play with the lace stockings. When he ran his thumbs along the soft, bare skin of her inner thighs, she whined his name. "Jake!" 

"Fuck," he grunted, squeezing her with both hands as she rode his thigh, now gripping both of his shoulders. She was kind of jerking her hips along as her glasses slid down her nose. Jake leaned in to kiss her neck and chest as he whispered, "You gonna get off like this?" She squeaked as his fingers toyed with her stockings before he brushed her wet slit with his thumb. 

"I never did before," she said, eyes a little wild now. Every time she rolled her hips back so she was sitting on her ass, she grunted a soft little sound that almost sent him through the roof. 

"Baby, you can't tell me things like that and make those perfect little sounds okay?" he whispered. "Because now I need to get you off." He guided one hand around to palm her bare ass and tipped her chin up with the other. "Okay?" he asked, running his thumb along her lips. She nodded and kissed his thumbprint before he reached down and lifted up her skirt. "Holy hell," he moaned. Her pussy looked exquisite, and there was a wet spot the size of her palm on his service khakis from her slick.

While he was absolutely aching to get his cock inside her, he knew there would be time for that later. This weekend, perhaps. But right now, he thought she was close to coming on his fucking uniform. In her goddamn office. On the college campus. And he needed to make it a reality, because he could feel her wetness on his leg as she ground down against him. 

So he kept his left hand on her ass, guiding her movements just a little slower as he took one more look at her pink pussy spread open for him, and he stroked her clit with his right thumb. And then Jessica was shaking almost instantly as she kissed his lips and muttered something incoherent. 

"Come on baby. You're so close," he whispered between kisses. "This is so hot." Every time her knee bumped his cock, he thought he might cum in his pants, but he kept her going. 

"Oh. My. God!" she whined suddenly before sucking in a deep breath and arching her back. Jake rubbed his face across her tits, nipples peaked through the fabric of her bra and camisole. And then she was coming and keening, and he eased up the pressure of his thumb and enjoyed every sound she made for him.

Jessica collapsed against his chest, lips pressed to his ear and cheek as she combed her fingers through his hair and rode out the little aftershocks. He ran his hand along her ass, stroking her until she stopped rocking gently against him. As she kissed her way to his lips, her fingers found his insignia pins just like always. Their kisses were soft and leisurely like she'd really worn herself out, and when she shifted, he grunted as her knee nudged his cock again.

She looked at him with wide eyes as she brought her hand down to his pants. "I'm so sorry," she gasped with a soft laugh. "I'm in such a daze, I wasn't even thinking. Let me take care of you."

Jake was shaking his head and immediately reaching for her hand. "Absolutely not." He would cum in an instant if she touched his bare dick with any part of her pretty body, and that was not something he was interested in at the moment. 

"Why not?" she asked, looking thoroughly upset now as she pulled away from him to stand. Jake had to bite his knuckle at the sight of the mess she left on his khakis, and his cock jumped painfully in his pants. 

"Baby, look what you did," he crooned, gesturing at his thigh. "It's gorgeous." But when he met her eyes, she was blushing and reaching for her cardigan. "Jessica, I can't have you taking care of this for me right now. I'm too worked up, and I'd rather have blue balls than cum as soon as you look at me, okay?"

She laughed as she pulled her sweater on, and she let Jake kiss her. "Okay," she replied softly as she looked down at his wet pants. "I can't believe I did that."

"Listen," he whispered, boxing her in between his body and her desk. "I think you should come spend the weekend at my place. Pack an overnight back and some more journals... the real sexy ones on the top shelf over there." He jerked his chin toward her bookshelf. "And I'll steal you a top secret spec sheet that could cost me some of my pins that you like touching so much."

"I could do that," she replied with a smile. "I need to go up to Beta Brewing with Bradley on Saturday morning, but after that, I'm free."

Jake kissed her as he pulled her green thong out of his pocket. "Sounds perfect. And I'm going to need you to wear this again on Saturday, okay? I didn't even get to see the bra yet."

She balled it up in her hand like she was suddenly embarrassed by it. "Alright." But he tipped her chin up again so she was looking at him.

"I can't get enough of you."

Then the sweet kisses returned before she took him by the hand and selected a small stack of journals for him to take him. "Here's a spicy one from the top shelf," she told him with a smile that made him feel weak. Then he said he would walk her and the cooler of food to her car. And she tried to hide her face against his pins when that same guy was walking through the lobby again, because Jake still had a wet spot on his pants from her pussy. 

"You think I care?" he whispered to her before he nodded at the guy with salt and pepper hair. "I got my girl with me, and she got off on me."

"Jake," she gasped with a laugh, pulling him outside quickly. "He's the head of the chemistry department. And he already hates me."

"Who in their right mind could hate you?" His mind drifted for a moment to all the supposed rumors about her that were floating around. "Wait, is he the guy who got permanently banned from Chippy's?" He dug his feet in and there was no way she could pull him anywhere. "Why doesn't he like you?"

Jake was turning back to look into the building, ready to give this asshole a piece of his mind, but Jessica was still pulling on him. "Don't worry about it. Walk me to my car so we can make out." But he was going to worry about it. And yeah, he made out with her next to her car until he was starting to get hard again, which was honestly very painful now. And he was still thinking about it when he watched her pull away. He headed home to jerk off and start to consider what he could cook this weekend, but it still really irritated him that someone found something to dislike about the first woman he ever thought he could be serious with. Because in his mind, she was perfect. 

-----------------------------

"Luca, focus on the math, or I'm not going to embarrass myself on your skateboard."

"Sorry, Dr. Reed."

Jessica had to keep drawing her failing student's attention back to the problem sheet in front of him, but that threat really seemed to do the trick. For some reason, this kid really wanted to see her eat asphalt. And now he was solving all of the problems correctly. "Yes! Keep going." She watched him write out the long equation for the last question, and she murmured, "One just like that will be on the exam next week."

"Sweet," he replied with a smile. "I'll study this weekend. Weather is supposed to be shitty for surfing."

She rolled her eyes but collected his paper when he was finished. "This is all correct," she said as she stood up on the other side of the desk in her sneakers and pantsuit. "You just always rush instead of taking your time. I know you can pass my classes. You need them to graduate on time."

"I know," he whined and sat back in the other chair. "I'll keep coming to your office hours."

"Just keep trying and keep studying. I know it's not as hard as you think it is."

Then he stood and picked up his skateboard, and Jessica groaned. "Okay, but only for a minute."

"You say that now, but I think you're going to love it," Luca said as she followed him out of her office and down the hallway. "You're at least fifty years younger than everyone else who works here. You might think skateboarding is fun."

Jessica had to stifle a snort as they walked past Dr. Leeland's open door where he was napping in his chair. "That's not polite, Luca," she managed to say.

"Yeah, but it's still true."

On the ride down the elevator, she listened to him explain how to keep yourself balanced while riding. "Don't make any sudden movements. And don't lean backwards. Actually, don't lean forward either."

Jessica sighed. At least she could spend about a half second on this skateboard and then excuse herself back up to her office to pack up. Then she could call Jake on her way home and hear his sexy voice and talk about the weekend.

Once they were outside on the deserted sidewalk which was lit up by the dying sunset and campus security lights, Luca set the skateboard down with a huge grin on his face. "You're the coolest, Professor Reed. Now step up with your right foot."

She tried it and shook her head before planting both feet back on the ground. "Nope. It's already rolling away!"

"Here. I'll stand on the front so it won't move so much while you get on it."

With a deep sigh, she tried it again, but she started wobbling from side to side this time. "Luca!" she gasped, reaching for his outstretched hand. "This is not fun!"

He was laughing as he said, "It takes practice. Just hold my hand for a second and push off with your left foot." When he removed his foot from the board, she pushed off and went gliding forward as she screeched and held onto his hand with a death grip. "Yeah! That's it!" 

She jumped off, looked at him, and said, "Can I do it again?" 

Five minutes later, she was laughing as she tried pushing off with her right foot. "I can recommend a great skate shop for you!" Luca said as she slowly skated away from him and down the sidewalk. Damn, this was kind of addicting. She jumped down and skated back toward him as she cackled.

"You better move. I'm coming in hot!" she said, rolling so slowly it was laughable. Then she looked up into the icy blue eyes of Brian Conley who was scowling at her. She jumped awkwardly off of the skateboard, and it continued to roll to Luca who picked it up.

"What the hell are you doing, Dr. Reed?" Brian practically yelled even though she was right in front of him. She hated that she immediately felt tears stinging behind her eyes. "Can't you be professional for even just ten minutes?"

"I was just-" she started, but then Luca cut in when she really wished he wouldn't.

"It was my idea, Dr. Conley. Dr. Reed just finished tutoring me, and I thought it would be fun."

Brian just shook his head and sighed. "That's enough fun for one day I think."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Reed," Luca muttered as he hoisted his backpack on and started skating away. And then Jessica really wished she could vanish, because Jake was heading up the sidewalk at a blistering pace, a scowl on his handsome features while Brian went off.

"It's not your job to be messing around with your students. It is your job to be teaching them. I know for a fact that you have several students failing your classes, and I don't think skateboarding with them is quite the correct answer here, do you? If you think you're even close to being qualified for tenure, you are out of your mind!"

All she could picture was Leeland asleep during his office hours. All she wanted to do was relate to Luca a little bit to keep him interested in things. She was just upholding her end of the bargain since he did so great with the practice problems.

"You're such an asshole," she whispered as her vision blurred with unshed tears. 

When Brian took a step closer so that he was almost touching her, Jessica heard Jake's voice call out in a loud bark. "Hey! Why is she crying?"

"I'm okay," she said softly which just made her want to cry even more. She pushed Brian away from herself and walked the rest of the way toward Jake who had his hands in fists and fire in his eyes. "I'm okay." She had to plant both palms on his chest to get him to look at her instead of Brian. 

"Why are you crying?" he asked, gentler this time as Brian stormed back inside the building. "Should I be going after him?"

"No," she said as she hiccuped, and Jake pulled her against his chest so her glasses got smashed at a weird angle. But she immediately felt better. "What are you doing here?"

He rubbed her back and said, "I missed you and thought maybe you'd want to go to Chippy's after your office hours. I know you were supposed to help that kid Luca, but I figured you might feel like getting a Sam Adams with me. Didn't know I'd potentially have to kick that guy's ass."

Jessica felt like she was going to say something she had no business telling him yet. So she tamped down the words and instead said, "You don't need to kick Brian Conley's ass. He's not even worth it. And I would absolutely love to go to Chippy's with you."

She kissed Jake long and hard on the lips before leading him inside and back up to her office to pack up her things and lock the door. Then they walked across the street, hand in hand. Jake held the door for her, and he finally looked a little calmer now as he walked into Chippy's right behind her. 

"I'm just waiting for him to glare at me," Jake said as he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I really need to take you to the Hard Deck one night, because honestly, Penny could give him a run for his money."

"I'd love to see that," she said with her first smile since she was on the skateboard. She laced her fingers with Jake's and led him to an empty table.

"Reedy," Chippy called out, and sure enough, there was a special glare reserved for Jake. Jessica was beaming by the time he pulled out a stool for her and kissed her. 

"I'll be right back. Hopefully," Jake said with a look of extreme fear as he headed to the bar. This was her peaceful space away from Brian. And she felt safe with Jake and Chippy. And Jake was completely right; a beer and some peanuts were exactly what she needed right now. 

-----------------------------

Can't wait to check in with Beer Boy's former frat brother. And can't wait for Reedy to spend some more time at Jake's place. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 9

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[weirdkpopgirl]

Crushed | Jeno Fic #1 (feat. Jisung)

Title: Crushed

Genre: College AU

Warnings: a love triangle is heavily implied, kissing is involved. reader is little insecure

Word Count: ~14k

Author's Note: Like my other lengthier works, this story took ages to complete. I actually started writing it last year and the motivation to keep going was very slow. But I was determined to finish this story and now it's finally done! I know love triangles are cliché, but I've always wanted to use it in a story. I feel like not many people will be interested in reading this story, but I do hope that those who do will enjoy it. Thank you for reading and please leave comments ^ ^

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

~ cats and coffee

“Hyung, Hyung—that’s her!” The younger one exclaimed in a hushed tone, shaking the elder’s shoulder.

Jeno’s eyes shifted upward to you standing behind the counter, donning a barista uniform. Your dark hair was neatly tied in a half ponytail and the round, silver-rimmed glasses added a scholarly charm, partially concealing your features. While your appearance might not be the most striking, there was a soft warmth about you that made others feel at ease.

“Who? (Y/n)?” He repeated, turning back to his friend.

Jisung nodded with a dreamy look in his eyes. “Isn’t she pretty?”

“Yeah I guess so,” Jeno shrugged. “Is she the reason you’ve been coming here so often?”

The younger boy’s cheeks tinged red as he bashfully rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe…”

Jeno never thought he’d see the day when Park Jisung—who used to run away from any girl who looked his way— had a crush. It felt…weird.

“How do you know her?” Jisung then asked, brows furrowing in curiosity.

Leaning back in his seat, Jeno replied, “She joined Jaemin’s club this year. I volunteer with her at the pet shelter.”

To be honest, Jeno hadn’t paid a great deal of attention to you before. The first time he saw you was during the first week of the semester when you joined the animal volunteer club, which he was a board member for. Aside from first-day introductions, you appeared rather reserved during meetings and often kept to yourself. 

Given Jeno’s own introverted nature, it took some time for him to actually talk to you. Even though he was in his third year of college, he still got shy when it came to meeting new people. In fact, it wasn’t until the two of you were assigned together to work with the cats that you were compelled to become more acquainted. Your shared love for the felines definitely eased the initial awkwardness. Despite this newly formed connection, his interactions with you stayed within the club’s activities.

Jisung gaped at this newfound information. “Seriously? You never told me that before!”

“Well I didn’t know you were interested in her,” Jeno teased, taking a sip of his iced americano. 

Just as they were talking about you, you caught Jeno's eyes and sent a kind smile in his direction. He observed as you exchanged a few words with your coworker and then walked over to their table. 

“Hi Sunbae, sorry for not noticing you earlier,” you apologized sheepishly, briefly adjusting the frames of your glasses.

“No worries. You looked busy over there,” Jeno assured you, before gesturing towards his friend across the table. “This is my friend, Park Jisung, by the way.”

Feeling a bit awkward now that he was in the presence of his crush, Jisung managed a small wave. “Hi,” he mumbled.

The warm smile you kindly offered gradually put him at ease. “Hey, you’re a dance major right?”

“Yeah, how did you know?” The boy’s eyes widened, raising a hand over his mouth in surprise that you recognized him.

You chuckled a hint of bashfulness in your demeanor. “I saw you dance at the freshman retreat. You were so cool, I could never do something like that.”

Observing the blush on Jisung's cheeks intensify, Jeno couldn't help but smirk involuntarily. “Oh—thanks. I’m glad you liked it,” Jisung said shyly, scratching his head. 

You glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing you couldn’t keep talking forever. A part of you felt guilty for having to cut the conversation short. But you also didn’t want to leave your coworker by herself for too long.

“Well, I better get back to work,” you sighed, briefly shifting your focus back at the two boys with a small smile. “I'll see you at tomorrow's club meeting, Sunbae. And it was nice meeting you, Jisung-ssi.”

As you excused yourself, Jeno and Jisung exchanged glances, both wearing smiles that lingered even after she left.

“She’s exactly how I imagined her to be. Kind and sweet,” Jisung said, the dreamy expression returning to his face. “Do you think I have a chance with her?”

Jeno shrugged, lifting his drink again. “Yeah, why not? You should try getting to know her more though.”

“How am I supposed to do that when I get so nervous when she’s around?” Jisung groaned, holding his head in his hands. 

Jeno watched his friend sympathetically, unsure of what to say. It wasn’t like he had much experience with girls either—not because he had some irrational fear of them like Jisung did. In fact, several girls eyed him on campus. But he just wasn’t interested in any of them.

Suddenly, a light bulb went off in Jisung’s head. “Wait, can you help me get with her, Hyung?”

The male across from him raised an eyebrow. “Why me?”

“You said you're in the same club as her. Maybe you could invite her to hang out with us sometime,” Jisung suggested.

“We’re not really that close,” Jeno mumbled, contemplating his friend’s request. He’s never been asked to play the matchmaker role before, so he wasn’t sure if he could do a good job. However, he couldn’t resist the hopeful look in the younger one’s eyes.

“Please do this for me, Hyung. I'll do anything you want!”

The desperation in the boy’s plea caused Jeno to sigh in defeat. “Okay, I guess I can help,” he relented, crossing his arms. “But you have to buy me snacks for the rest of this month.”

Jisung pumped his fist in the air. “No problem! You’re the best, Jeno Hyung.”

Back behind the counter, your eyes flitted in the boy’s direction again. A smile crept on your lips, noticing the animated expressions on Jisung’s face in contrast to Jeno’s calm demeanor. They seemed like really good friends as if nothing could tear them apart. 

Little did they know that their friendship would be tested.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ an accidental start of something

The following Saturday, Jeno spent the afternoon at the pet shelter, where they gladly welcomed their club. He was paired up with you to clean the litter boxes, and you were able to finish the task sooner than expected. With some extra time on their hands, you decided to hang out in the nursery where the playful kittens were waiting.

Jeno observed you affectionately cradling a fluffy black kitten. He couldn’t help but smile at how your eyes lit up joyfully. It always fascinated him to see your reserved demeanor fade away in the presence of something you had great fondness for.

He chuckled when a kitten playfully pawed at the shoelaces on his sneakers. Jeno gently scooped up the little one in his arms.

“That one seems to like you,” you remarked, breaking the silence.

Jeno smiled, softly stroking the cat’s head with his finger. “Yours seems to like you too.”

“I wish I could just take him home with me,” you sighed, leaning over to gently nuzzle your nose against the kitten’s tiny black one. Unfortunately, the dorms didn’t allow pets.

He nodded understandingly, “I know what you mean.”

As the conversation flowed between the two, Jeno decided this was a good time to bring up his friend. “So, what do you think of Jisung?” He asked casually.

A thoughtful expression formed on your face as you placed the kitten in your lap. “He seemed nice. Why do you ask?”

“Well, we’re planning to see a movie tomorrow,” Jeno mentioned, a hopeful glint in his eyes. “And I was wondering if you want to join us?”

You hesitated, your eyes momentarily drifting away from the adorable cat to meet his gaze. “Oh... I wouldn't want to intrude…”

“You wouldn't be intruding,” Jeno reassured a warm smile on his face. “I'm just trying to get Jisung to make more friends his age. That’s all.”

After a moment of pondering, you smiled back. "Sure, I’d love to then.”

For some reason, Jeno didn’t expect you to agree so easily. But this certainly made his job a lot easier. He could already visualize the male’s surprised but excited expression when he learned that you said yes.

════════

Jeno observed Jisung fidgeting nervously, as they stood in the lobby of the movie theater. The younger male kept stealing glances at the door, his excitement mingling with anxiety as they waited for your arrival.

Jisung clutched the popcorn bucket tightly in his hands. “I just can’t believe I'll finally get to hang out with her. What if I end up saying something stupid? Or if I—”

“All you have to do is be yourself and you’ll be fine,” Jeno interjected, putting an end to his friend’s anxious rambling.

Though Jisung nodded in response, he didn’t appear any calmer. Chuckling, Jeno gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

“Relax, Jisung-ah,” he said, “She’ll be here soon.”

As if on cue, you rushed through the front entrance, your hair slightly disheveled and cheeks flushed with haste.  

“I’m sorry for being late,” you exclaimed, trying to catch your breath. “A whole wave of people came in when my shift ended, and I couldn’t leave my coworker by herself.”

Jeno waved off your apology with a smile, “Don’t worry, you’re fine. We were just about to head in.”

He glanced over to Jisung who timidly extended the red bucket of popcorn towards her. 

“Here, um…I got this for you,” he mumbled, his words barely audible. The boy’s nerves eased when your eyes lit up with gratitude as you accepted the snack from him.

“Oh thank you. You didn’t have to do that,” you said softly, a faint blush dusting her cheeks. 

Jeno couldn’t discern whether you were touched by Jisung’s gesture or if it was simply your shy tendencies at play. Either way, the three of you headed into the theater room together and found your seats among the dimly lit rows. Throughout the movie, Jeno is mostly occupied with the plot unfolding on the large screen. However, he occasionally caught Jisung stealing nervous glances at Eunji from the corner of his eyes. Huh, he must really like her,  he thought to himself.

Two and a half hours later, the theater lights switched back on and people began to file out of the room accordingly. However, just as the three of them made their way outside the theater, Jisung suddenly realized his phone was missing.

“It must’ve slipped out of my pocket in the theater,” Jisung muttered, before turning to you and Jeno with a sheepish smile. “I’ll go back to find it. Are you okay with waiting here?”

You gave him a reassuring nod. “Of course, we won’t go anywhere.”

He smiled appreciatively before darting back into the building. Jisung’s absence left a subtle awkwardness in the air, a natural occurrence when two introverts were standing next to each other. In an attempt to move past that awkwardness, Jeno cleared his throat.

“So…what did you think of the movie?” 

His question ignited a spark of excitement in your eyes as if you had been waiting to discuss the movie with someone.

Though still appearing composed, you adjusted the strap of your purse. “I thought it was pretty good. I’m a big fan of action films.”

“Really?” Jeno cocked an eyebrow in amusement. “You don’t strike me as the type to enjoy the action genre.”

Your head tilted slightly with a smirk. “Why? Did you think I was more into cheesy rom-coms?”

“Kind of, to be honest,” Jeno said, rubbing the back of his neck. He couldn’t hold back a chuckle, having never witnessed this playful side of you before.

You placed a hand over your chest, pretending to be offended. “Well for your information, Sunbae. I happen to—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Jeno’s head shifted in the direction of the vibrating engine sound that filled his ears. Just as you also turned to see a red delivery motorbike charging straight towards you, Jeno’s body reacted faster than his mind.

The motorbike almost hit you when his hand wrapped around your wrist and swiftly pulled you back. As you stumbled forward, his other arm encircled your waist, holding you steady.

Once the vehicle had driven a safe distance away, Jeno met your eyes, which mirrored the shock on his own. His hand remained tightly wrapped around your wrist, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn’t tell if it was from the near-collision or from how close you were to him at that moment, your faces mere inches apart.

Time seemed to stand still, as the two of you stared at each other with shaky breaths. The proximity with you sent a surge of warmth coursing through Jeno’s veins, as he realized how mesmerizing your face was up close. And as he gazed into your eyes, it was practically obvious that an instant flutter of attraction had stirred within the both of you.

However, that flutter was immediately overtaken by guilt. Quickly composing himself, Jeno released his grip on your hand and helped fix your position.

“You’re not hurt anywhere?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse.

You also seemed to snap out of it, giving him a light nod in response. “Y-yeah, thank you,” you stammered, pressing your index fingers instinctively adjusting the alignment of your glasses.

His shoulders sank a little, feeling reassured by your answer. “It was nothing, really,” he replied kindly. 

Shortly after that exchange, Jisung came dashing out of the theater once more with his phone in hand. He returned to them with a flushed smile on his face

“Found it!” he said, “Do you guys want to go eat now?”

Jeno unintentionally met your eyes with a hint of hesitation before you turned to Jisung with a sweet nod. “Yeah, Jisung-ah. Let’s go.”

The dark-haired male trailed behind, listening as Jisung blabbered to you about his thoughts on the movie. His mind was racing with conflicted thoughts, and his heart still hadn’t stopped beating rapidly. Jeno cursed to himself, sincerely hoping this feeling would quickly fade away. 

Because if he wasn’t overthinking it, he might have just fallen for his best friend’s crush.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ getting too close

The university cafeteria hummed with the usual midday energy as Jeno spotted Jisung already seated at a table on the far right. Holding the metal tray of heaping food steadily in his hands, Jeno began making his way over. However, his footsteps slowed when he noticed you sitting across from Jisung. The three of you had never eaten lunch together before.

For a moment, Jeno contemplated just leaving and finding somewhere else to eat. No matter how hard he tried, his mind kept drifting to you since the incident that occurred a few days ago. The worst part was that he knew it was wrong to think about the first girl with whom Jisung avidly expressed his infatuation. Jeno repeatedly told himself that whatever he was feeling was temporary and would eventually go away if he ignored them.

“Jeno Hyung!” The sound of Jisung’s deep voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Jeno’s eyes flitted to the younger male, who waved his hand for him to come join them.

Knowing it would be hard to escape, Jeno’s feet reluctantly started moving again. He tried to appear as casual as possible as he took a seat next to Jisung.

“Glad I found you,” he mumbled, before briefly turning to greet you. “Hey, (Y/n)-ssi.”

You bowed your head politely. “It’s nice to see you, Jeno Sunbae.”

Jeno couldn’t help but detect an inexplicable layer beneath the typically reserved smile you were giving him. Maybe he hadn’t been the only one who couldn’t shake off the thoughts of what happened not too long ago. He tried not to dwell on that fantasy too much.

“(Y/n) and I were talking about the spring festival at the end of the month,” Jisung said, quickly filling him in on what he missed before he arrived. 

He nodded, picking up his chopsticks. “You’ll be performing with the dance team, right?”

“Yep, we’ve been preparing since the semester break,” Jisung said proudly, turning to you. “You’ll come to see it, right?”

Jeno noticed the genuine warmth in your smile toward the boy. “Of course, I will. I couldn’t miss something like that,” you replied affirmatively.

Your response made Jisung blush, causing him to lower his gaze slightly. Somehow, watching this exchange between the two of you left this gnawing feeling inside him. He wasn’t entirely sure why though.

His eyes followed when your attention momentarily shifted to your phone, which brightened with a text notification. Your brow furrowed as you read the message before looking up at him and Jisung.

“My friend Misun just texted, saying she signed up for a cooking class this Saturday. But apparently, all her friends ended up canceling due to schedule conflicts,” you explained, your eyes flickering between them. “She asked if I wanted to take their spots. I don’t know, would you guys be interested?”

Jeno’s mind clouded with uncertainty, as he turned to meet Jisung’s eyes. However, the boy’s eyes were already lighting up.

Jisung shrugged, “Well I’m not that great at cooking. But it sounds fun, right Jeno Hyung?”

“Huh—oh sure, why not?” Jeno fumbled over his words, agreeing without a second thought. 

You beamed, “Great, I’ll let her know.”

To be honest, Jeno wasn’t sure if this was a great idea. But Jisung already seemed so excited about a new opportunity to spend time with you and he felt obligated to be there as moral support. Although, he was no longer confident in how effective he could be as moral support.

════════

From the moment the cooking class started, Jeno didn’t feel too good. The class was divided into pairs. Of course, he encouraged Jisung to be your partner so the male could spend more time with you. He was left to work with Misun, who had invited them to today’s occasion. She was in the same grade as you were and Jeno vaguely recognized her from the university’s cheerleading team. Although he didn’t hate this arrangement, he honestly wished they weren’t stationed across from you.

Jeno was barely making any progress cutting ingredients for the soup everyone was supposed to make. His attention was drawn to Jisung nervously flipping through the recipe. He knew that Jisung was pretty much clueless when it came to cooking. However, Jeno observed you calmly instructing him to wash the vegetables, as you began heating water in a medium-sized pot. 

Your friend’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Don’t you think they look cute together?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m glad (Y/n) is there to make sure Jisung won’t burn the kitchen down,” he replied, quickly regaining his composure.

Misun chuckled, her hand hovering near her mouth. “Honestly I was kinda surprised (Y/n) agreed to come today, she doesn’t usually attend these types of events.”

“Oh, really?” he asked.

“Yeah, but I think she's been trying to step out of her comfort zone lately,” Misun nodded, swiftly adding the chopped potatoes he had cut into the boiling pot. “And her inviting you guys to come makes more sense to me now.”

Jeno didn’t need to question further to understand what she was implying. Their gazes returned to you, who was guiding Jisung on how to mince garlic. A soft sigh escaped him, unintentionally. You truly did seem to enjoy Jisung’s company.

Shaking his head, Jeno attempted to concentrate more on the task at hand. For the next twenty minutes, he managed to be more productive. Just as everyone in the class was almost done making their soups, Misun asked him to cut some green onions for garnish.

However as he was doing so, the sound of your laugh mixed with Jisung’s reached his ears. Without thinking, he looked up to watch the two of you. He wondered what you guys were laughing about. From across the room, Jeno noticed that Jisung seemed noticeably more at ease in your presence now.

As Jeno’s eyes lingered on the scene before him, his hand slipped and the sharp edge of the knife pierced the tip of his thumb. A curse flew out of his mouth, and he barely registered Misun’s gasp that followed seconds after. When he opened his eyes, he found you rushing towards him with a folded paper towel in hand. Concern etched across your features as you placed it under his finger to catch the blood that was already dripping.

“Hyung, are you okay?” Jisung’s panicked voice came from behind you as he approached. 

Trying not to grimace as the sting of the cut started to kick in, Jeno forced a smile. “Yeah, it’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad, my foot,” you muttered, turning to the teacher who had come over with a first-aid kit. “Chef-nim, is it okay if I step out with Jeno to take care of his injury?”

“Of course, go right ahead.” The chef handed you the plastic blue box. With the paper towel still pressed against his finger, Jeno watched as you briefly glanced back at Jisung and Misun.

“Jisung, you’ll be okay right?” you asked, wanting to make sure he’d be alright without you there to finish things.

The male hesitated for a second before nodding eagerly, “Yeah—I can handle things, (Y/n).”

“I can help Jisung too if he needs it,” Misun chimed in, “You two go ahead.”

With their assurances confirmed, Jeno soon found himself seated on a bench in the hallway beside you. His thumb pulsed with a relentless drumbeat, throbbing with pain. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the way you were delicately tending to his wound, even as worry furrowed your brow. Perhaps, you were one of the few people who looked at him like that.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” he said quietly, glancing down as you finally managed to stop the bleeding. 

As you set the red-soaked paper towel aside, you reached for some gauze to clean the cut with an antiseptic solution. Jeno bit down on his lip, suppressing a wince from the sting of it, even though you were being careful.

Focused on treating his wound meticulously, you spoke without meeting his eyes. “You’re right, but it’s the least I can do. Especially after you literally saved my life last time.”

Though he wanted to, Jeno couldn’t find an argument against that. Once you finished cleaning the cut, you wrapped his finger with some white bandage. He noticed you pause after as you held his hand momentarily, before returning it to his lap. His eyes met yours in a brief, yet charged five seconds that made his heart pound—rather against his will. This situation felt too much like déjà vu to him. Was he the only one?

You then cleared your throat, shifting your gaze to look straight ahead. Subconsciously, you pushed up your glasses that had fallen slightly off the bridge of your nose.

“Try to be careful when using your left hand. Your thumb should heal in a few weeks.”

“Thank you,” he breathed, also having trouble making eye contact with you.

A small exhale was let out by you, before glancing in his direction again. Jeno could tell you wanted to say something, but you seemed to hold back this time.

“No problem, Sunbae,” you smiled at him, rising from the bench. “We should go back to our friends. I’ve never seen Jisung look so frightened before. He seemed really worried about you.”

The mention of Jisung’s name stung worse than the knife had. Jeno hadn’t even thought about him since they left, and he hated himself for it. This day was supposed to be for his friend to get closer to you. Not him.

One thing for sure was that Jeno didn’t know what he was doing anymore.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ the moment of realization

As the month flew by, Jeno tried but failed to limit his interactions with you. Hangouts with you and Jisung became more frequent, and the younger male often pleaded for his presence as moral support. Jeno tried to ignore his growing feelings for you. But it was hard when his spare time was now consistently consumed by being a part of this trio.

Then during the next club meeting, fate landed him and you paired to volunteer at the pet shelter again. He tried to convince Jaemin to trade shifts with him, but couldn’t find a plausible excuse without risking his secret being exposed or accidentally casting you in a negative light.

So he unfortunately found himself in the back room, folding freshly cleaned laundry alongside you. As the piles of white towels and soft cat beds grew around them, Jeno couldn’t help but steal occasional glances at you, observing how you folded the towels so meticulously. If you sensed his gaze on you, Jeno couldn’t tell.

“I’m looking forward to seeing Jisung perform at the spring festival next week. Are you?” you asked, once again breaking the awkward silence between you. Jeno mentally chastised himself for not initiating the conversation himself.

He nodded, mustering a tentative smile. “Yeah, I am. Jisung shines the most when he’s dancing.”

Before Jeno could hear your agreement, a staff member positioned near the doorway caught both of your attention. “Can you guys bring some kittens back to their condos from the private room?” she asked politely, her eyes darting between the both of you. “The customer decided to come back another time.”

“Of course, we’ll take care of it.” He heard you reply in the sweet, natural tone you often used around people in general.

The staff member sent the both of you a grateful smile, and stepped aside, allowing him and you to make your way to the private room. However, once you got there, there were no tiny felines in sight. As you mumbled words of concern, Jeno crouched down near the big blue chair to search for any hint of movement.

“Um, I think they’re under here,” Jeno said, his suspicions confirmed as he spotted two black furballs discernible only by their light green eyes.

You bent down to his level, your expression softening as you took a closer look. “Poor things, they must be scared.”

“Yeah I guess whoever came by must’ve unintentionally frightened them,” he agreed, extending his arm in an attempt to bring the kittens out from under the chair. However, his actions only served to make them shrink further against the wall.

Jeno let out a sigh of frustration, sitting up to see if you had any ideas on how to get the kittens out. He noticed the frown on your lips deepen, as you briefly scanned the room. Then, he saw your eyes light up with determination as you picked up a discarded cat wand from the floor.

With curiosity, Jeno watched as you crouched down and shook the wand, causing the feather tip to swish against the ground. “Come on, little ones,” you cooed gently, your voice sounding like a soothing melody in the quiet room.

It didn’t take long for the tantalizing movements to attract the kittens, inevitably coaxing them out of their hiding place. Jeno felt relief wash over him, as he finally scooped up one of the kittens, while you did the same with its sibling.

“Wow, you’re a genius,” he complimented absentmindedly, genuinely impressed by your quick thinking. 

You lightly chuckled, a hint of bashfulness coloring your cheeks. “You don’t have to exaggerate, Sunbae.”

As Jeno followed behind your lead back to the main room, he was unable to tear his gaze away from you. Something about witnessing you hug the tiny cat against your chest, placing little kisses on the top of its head, and whispering sweet words of assurance, triggered the feeling he had been trying to bury down throughout the entire month. 

Jeno held his kitten a little closer to his chest, feeling its warm black fur between his fingers. He knew then that he was officially doomed. No matter how hard he tried to remind himself of his loyalty to Jisung and resist the way you continued to make his heart race, he couldn’t stop himself from falling for you.

At that moment, Jeno realized that he was fighting a battle he was destined to lose.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ how one kiss leads to catastrophe

Ever since you met up with Misun for the spring festival, the strange look she kept giving you was making you want to hide. After enduring ten minutes of her burning stature, you couldn’t take it anymore. When you finally sat down at one of the food stalls, waiting for the guys to arrive, you decided to speak up.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” you asked, wondering if you had done something to upset her.

Misun continued to eye you suspiciously. “Do you have a crush on Lee Jeno?” she answered with a question that immediately caught you off guard.

“W-what?” you laughed as if she just made a ridiculous statement. “No, I don’t…I mean… is it that obvious?” 

A smirk of satisfaction stretched across Misun’s lips as she saw your cheeks heating up as you anxiously awaited her response.

Casually leaning back in her seat, she crossed her arms. “Not necessarily. At first, I thought you liked Jisung. But then I started to wonder if it was Jeno after seeing you rush over to help him when he cut his finger.”

“So it is obvious,” you groaned in embarrassment, hiding your face in your hands. It was a good thing the guys hadn’t arrived yet, or else you’d be such an awkward mess.

Amusement danced in Misun’s eyes as she leaned forward on the table. “I can’t believe (L/n) (Y/n) has a crush on someone. When did you start liking him?” she asked.

You pondered for a bit, tracing back to the events that occurred this past month. Your social life certainly has taken a turn ever since you became friends with Jeno and Jisung. Although you instinctively wanted to decline Jeno’s first invitation to hang out, Misun’s constantly chastising you for antisocial tendencies. In fact, she was the one who pushed you to join the animal volunteer club because she knew how much you liked cats.

“Well, I didn’t really pay much attention to him before, even though we saw each other at his club. I think it started after we watched a movie at the theater when he saved me from getting hit by a motorcycle,” you began to explain, recalling the details from that night.

Misun clasped a hand over her mouth and gasped, “No way, you had a k-drama moment!”

“I guess you could call it that,” you chuckled softly, lowering your gaze. “But the way he held me—so gently yet securely—and looking into his eyes, I don’t know…I just felt this spark?”

You weren’t exactly sure how to describe it. Honestly, you had been too focused on your academics and personal stuff to go anywhere near men. Yet that one heart-flutter moment with Jeno was enough to make you want to reconsider staying away from dating. It was sort of the catalyst that made you start to see Jeno in a different light.

“The more I spent time around Jeno, I just started to notice him more. Like how he can be quite funny when you get closer to him,” you continued, your voice softening with admiration. “He’s so good with the cats too, they always snuggle up to him when we visit the shelter. And he really is cute, like I don’t know how such a manly-looking guy can be so…endearing.”

Misun’s eyes widened in slight surprise. “Wow, you really do like him.”

“Gosh, I’m hopeless, aren’t I?” you mumbled, rather pitifully. You hadn’t even realized how fond you’ve become of the boy until Misun pointed it out.

 “Hopelessly in love,” Misun teased in a sing-song voice. “So, do you plan on confessing your feelings to him?”

Her question made your heart sink a little. “I don’t think so. He probably doesn’t feel the same as me, and I’d probably just make things awkward between us.”

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about what would happen if Jeno was aware of your crush on him. But for now, you were content with admiring him from afar, hesitant to pursue anything more. Misun, on the other hand, did not seem satisfied with that idea.

“Okay, I get what you’re saying, but I honestly think you have a pretty good chance, (Y/n),” Misun said, her tone brimming with conviction. “He literally couldn’t stop looking at you during the cooking class. Well, you know—until he cut his finger.”

While that did intrigue you a little, you didn’t want to entertain any false hope. You sighed, shaking your head in disbelief. “Misun, I really don’t think—”

“Trust me on this. I can even prove it to you,” she interrupted, her eyes gleaming with persistence. “We’ll do a little test. When Jeno and Jisung get here, I’ll ‘accidentally” spill something on your shirt. If Jeno likes you, he’ll offer his jacket.”

Your brow furrowed in perplexion. “I don’t see how that’s supposed to prove anything.”

“Because it’s a classic romantic gesture,” Misun insisted, tapping the table for emphasis. “It’ll work, I just know it.”

Although you were skeptical about Misun’s idea, you worried that any further disagreement would be futile. Maybe you could find a way to back out at the last minute. Besides, this so-called “test” couldn’t even happen if Jeno wasn’t wearing a jacket.

To your dismay, Jeno arrived wearing a denim jacket over a plain white t-shirt. Your stomach started doing somersaults when Misun waved him and Jisung over to your table.

“Great, you guys are finally here,” she said, flashing them both a smile as she gestured for them to sit. “We already ordered food, so it should be coming out soon.”

Jeno returned her smile with a nod and settled into the seat across from you. “Thanks. Sorry we’re a little late…we got sidetracked.”

“Wah, you guys should’ve seen Jeno Hyung arm wrestling!” Jisung exclaimed, his cheeks flushed with excitement. “It was so cool watching him beat all the guys that challenged him. Even Mark Hyung lost, and he’s really strong.”

For a moment, your nerves faded as you listened to Jisung ramble enthusiastically. It was cute to see him raving about his friend, especially with Jeno looking embarrassed. But you weren’t too surprised to hear about Jeno’s strength. You’ve noticed the prominent veins snaking along his muscular arms before—not that you were staring.

“It’s not a big deal, really,” Jeno said, brushing off Jisung’s praise. Strange, you didn’t think you'd seen him blush before.

But you found it interesting how they alternated between being shy and confident. Their dynamic was certainly something you continued to admire since getting to know them. 

Misun chimed in, giving you a nudge with her elbow. “I’d say that’s pretty impressive. Don’t you think, (Y/n)-ah?”

“Yeah, definitely,” you agreed, appearing calm on the outside, though the somersaults in your stomach resumed. You shot your friend a discreet glare before changing the subject.

“Anyway,” you said with a smile, hoping the anticipation in your voice was evident. “I can’t wait to see you dance later, Jisung!”

You guessed it was Jisung’s turn to be shy, as a light shade of pink tinged his cheeks. “Oh, thanks. I spent all last night practicing, but I’m still nervous,” he mumbled bashfully.

“I always tell him he has nothing to be nervous about,” Jeno quipped, rolling his eyes playfully. His remark only intensified the blush on Jisung’s cheeks as he glanced down at the table in embarrassment.

You and Misun shared a small laugh at the exchange. “Well, it’s only natural. But I know you’ll do great, Jisung-ah!”

Jisung exhaled deeply, his hand resting on his chest as he met your eyes with a sincere expression.

“Thanks, (Y/n)-ah. I definitely feel better having you—uh, I mean, all of you to support me,” he said, his voice laced with gratitude.

The four of you enjoyed the convivial atmosphere and loosened up when food and drinks were eventually delivered to your table. You almost forgot about Misun’s subtle scheme unfolding.

True to her earlier proposal, she passed you a preemptive look before “accidentally” knocking her elbow against the half-empty soju bottle in front of you. You gasped involuntarily as the cold liquid splashed onto your blouse. And now, you regret your decision to also wear white today.

Misun pushed her chair back, feigning a look of guilt. But you caught the mischievous glint in her eyes. “Oh no, I’m so clumsy! Sorry about that.”

Though her tone was apologetic, you didn’t miss the mischievous glint in her eyes before she shifted her gaze to the guys. Almost afraid to witness their reactions, you glanced down at the unflattering stain on your blouse. This was a lot more embarrassing than you thought it would be.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it, Misun,” you attempted to laugh it off, though your grip on the hem of your shirt betrayed your discomfort.

You were too flustered to notice as Jeno started to remove his jacket. However, when you glanced up, Jisung was already shrugging off his light blue hoodie and handing it to you.

“Here, wear this for now,” he offered, his eyes filled with concern.

You looked at him with slight surprise. “Oh, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I have to change later anyway,” he said earnestly. “It’ll keep you warm when it gets cold later tonight too!”

“Well—thanks, Jisung-ah,” you said kindly, hesitantly accepting the hoodie and slipping it on. 

The grin on Jisung’s face stretched so wide, but you were too overwhelmed with a different emotion to pick up on it. Although you did appreciate his gesture, a pang of disappointment gnawed at you, and you hated it. 

Meanwhile, Misun was watching Jeno closely. She saw how he paused mid-motion, his jacket still halfway off his shoulders, and caught the brief flicker of jealousy in his eyes as Jisung’s hoodie practically swallowed your petite frame. However, Jeno quickly regained his composure and smoothly slid his jacket back on as if nothing had happened.

Jisung glanced at his phone and took a deep breath. "Well, I better go get ready for the show tonight. I'll see you guys later?"

His eyes lingered on you, noticing your distant expression as you pondered how things hadn’t turned out the way you’d foolishly hoped.

"Yep, we'll be right in the crowd to cheer you on, Jisung-ah!" Misun replied enthusiastically for the both of you.

With that, Jisung waved one last time to you guys before heading off. Jeno cleared his throat and offered to throw out the trash from the table. As he excused himself, Misun grabbed your wrist before you could escape as well.

“Okay, I know things didn’t go exactly as planned. But—” she started to say.

This time, you shut her down by raising your hand. “No, I don’t want to hear it,” you shook your head, voice filled with irritation. “This was stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Misun tugged on your wrist with urgency. “You have to listen to me, (Y/n). I saw Jeno was going to give you his jacket. Jisung just beat him to it!”

While you didn’t want to dismiss your friend’s words, you found them hard to believe. Standing with your arms crossed in uncertainty, the festival continued as your mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of Lee Jeno. You spotted him engaging in small talk with one of the seniors who was running the food stall where you had eaten.

Oh, how you wished seeing the way his eyes crinkled into half-crescents didn’t make your heart skip a beat. As the festival continued around you, your thoughts remained fixated on him. 

Misun was right about one thing, you were hopelessly in love.

════════

Honestly, Jeno didn’t know what he was thinking when he had nearly offered you his jacket back there, acting almost out of instinct. Jisung was the one he was supposed to be encouraging to do those sorts of things. He hated how fast his heart continued to race with you sitting next to him in the auditorium.

Jeno could see the boy’s eyes practically bursting with joy when he saw you wearing his hoodie earlier. He should’ve been happy to see his friend make a move on the girl he liked. Compared to when he first met you, Jisung was coming out of his shell more, and Jeno wasn’t sure he entirely needed him to be his wingman anymore. However, Jisung had no idea how conflicted and inadequate Jeno felt in that role.

“Are you okay, Sunbae?” you asked, your voice bringing him back to reality. 

“Huh—oh yeah, I’m fine,” Jeno replied, scratching his head sheepishly. “Guess I just zoned out for a bit.”

Your eyes still carried a hint of concern, as if you weren’t fully convinced by his dismissive response. But before Jeno could offer further reassurance, Misun tapped your shoulder excitedly. “Look, the performance is starting!”

Both of you turned your attention to the stage as the lights came on. Jeno immediately spotted Jisung in the center position among the group. As the first song began to play, Jisung's body moved effortlessly with the beat. The group launched into a medley of legendary boy group hits from older groups like H.O.T and Shinhwa to contemporary acts like EXO and BTS.

Jisung led the charge, his movements precise and powerful, each step perfectly in sync with the music. The crowd’s energy surged as they recognized the familiar tunes and the dance team fed off that excitement, their performance growing more dynamic with each song. Jeno was always to see his friend who was usually so shy, transform into a powerhouse of energy and confidence once he got on stage.

Yet Jeno was focusing more on you, watching the way your face lit up in mesmerization as you were captivated by this side of Jisung you hadn’t seen much of before. Seeing you in Jisung’s hoodie only intensified the pit of jealousy gnawing at Jeno’s stomach. He couldn’t shake the feeling and realized he selfishly wanted to be the one to bring that light into your eyes.

He almost didn’t realize the performance had ended, except for the loud sound of applause as the stage went dark again. 

“Wow, Jisungie was amazing!” you exclaimed, gushing to him and Misun. “I’m so proud of him.”

Misun chuckled at your enthusiasm before glancing at her phone. “Well, this was nice. But I better get going now, my team leader wants to squeeze in one last practice before our performance on the second day of the festival.”

As Misun gathered her things to leave for practice, she bid you both a quick goodbye, promising to catch up later. Left standing in the bustling auditorium, Jeno turned to you with a smile.

"Want to wait outside? It's less crowded and quieter," he suggested, gesturing towards the exit. 

You agreed and soon found yourselves standing on a serene stone bridge just outside the festival grounds. He could tell you were still captivated by Jisung’s performance, not that he could blame you. The air was cooler outside, and Jeno was glad you had Jisung’s hoodie to keep you warm. Tall trees lined the path, their leaves rustling gently in the evening breeze. Though the sky was dark, the dim lights from the festival cast a soft, warm glow that created a peaceful atmosphere. 

As they walked along the bridge, Jeno heard you exhale. “You were right. Jisung truly does shine when he dances.”

“Yeah, he’s been dancing long before I even met him in high school,” he said with a hint of nostalgia in his voice. 

As you both talked about Jisung’s performance and reminisced about the recent memories you’ve shared as friends, Jeno felt his nerves die down a little. It was strange how the sight of you made him incredibly nervous, yet his body would automatically relax when you two talked. Despite not having much to say, he noticed your eyes focused intently on him whenever he spoke, and he could tell you were fully listening. 

A short silence settled you two, a familiar pause in his interactions with you, Jeno didn’t trust himself to speak, fearing he might ruin everything if he gave away his feelings. And just as the other times, you were the one to break the awkwardness. 

“You know, I don’t let many people in,” you confessed. “But I’m really glad I got closer to you and Jisung this semester.”

Jeno was slightly taken aback by the vulnerability he caught in your voice. Now that he thought about it, you had been somewhat withdrawn before he helped Jisung get closer to you. It wasn’t that you were cold, but he noticed you liked to be alone and only engaged with those you knew well, showing no interest in reaching out to others. He had never judged you for it, figuring you had your reasons.

He nodded thoughtfully, looking at you with an understanding smile. “Well, I’m glad you let us in. It’s been nice getting to know the mysterious barista girl who likes action movies and has a hidden talent for charming cats.”

“You’re so funny, Sunbae,” you giggled, shaking your head. Hearing your laugh was like music to his ears, as cliché as that sounded. 

The evening breeze rustled the leaves around you as Jeno saw you contemplate for a moment. “Honestly, I’ve really enjoyed our time together,” you began, your gentle voice sounding nervous but earnest. “And seeing you today made me realize that I don’t just see you my senior.”

Alerts went off in Jeno’s mind as he recognized the direction this conversation was taking.  No, this isn’t supposed to happen, he tried to tell himself, knowing how much Jisung liked you.

After exhaling softly, you spoke up. “I like you, Jeno Sunbae.”

For a moment, silence hung heavy between you, and Jeno knew you saw the conflicting emotions flicker across his face. He didn't know what to say, more so because he felt he shouldn’t say anything at all. Seeing your smile falter only made him feel worse.

“But it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way! I just wanted to get it off my chest,” you hurriedly added out of slight panic.

His eyes gaze into yours with the same intensity from that day he saved you from the motorcycle. So many emotions swirled within him, pushing Jeno to his limits. He couldn’t look at you without wanting something more. Before you could say anything else, Jeno impulsively cupped your face with his hands and leaned in, sharing the most passionate kiss either of you had ever experienced. 

Your lips were softer than he imagined them, carrying a faint taste of the soju you both had earlier. As he deepened the kiss, he could feel the slight pressure of your glasses against his cheek. But in that moment he didn’t care, his desire to be close to you overwhelmed any minor distraction.

Almost immediately, you melted into the kiss, as if you both had secretly longed for this moment. One of Jeno’s hands slid down to the back of your neck, his fingers threading through your hair and pulling you even closer. The other hand drifted to your waist, his touch firm yet tender. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket, grasping tightly as you responded eagerly to his touch. 

Kissing you now made Jeno realize how much he had wanted to do it all those times. When he caught you in his arms after the movies that day, when you took care of the cut on his finger when he saw the affection in your eyes as you cared for the kittens at the shelter. Each moment he wanted to press his lips against yours and convey just how much you made his head spin.

The kiss only ended when the both of you started to feel lightheaded. The soft sound of your mingling breaths filled the air around you, and Jeno let out a soft sigh of contentment. A smile was about to form on his lips, until he noticed your eyes widening, looking past his shoulder.

That was when he turned around, only to find Jisung standing at the other end of the bridge, his expression a mix of shock and hurt.

The younger male shook his head in disbelief. “No way…”

“Jisung, I…” he called out, his voice already full of regret.

But Jisung didn’t wait for him to finish. With a glare of betrayal, his best friend turned and stormed off into the night. Jeno cursed quietly under his breath.

You glanced at him in confusion, searching his eyes for answers as to why Jisung just left so angrily. But Jeno couldn’t explain everything to you right now. He had to go find Jisung.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I—I have to go,” he said, reluctantly pulling himself away from you. 

Then he left you standing there, completely bewildered, the guilt already beginning to pile up inside him.

════════

“Jisung-ah, wait!” Jeno called out, his heart sinking as he caught up to his friend, now a far distance from the bridge. “Please, just let me explain.”

Jisung finally stopped in his tracks and turned sharply, his eyes ablaze with fury and hurt. Jeno has never seen him look so angry before. 

“I just saw you kissing the girl I’ve been crushing on for ages. So tell me, what is there to explain, Hyung?” Jisung demanded, his voice trembling with betrayal. 

His mind raced with regret, struggling to find the right words. “I…I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

The younger male scoffed, the memory of him kissing you still vivid in his mind. “How long were you going to deceive me?”

“I swear, I didn’t even look at her that way when you first told me about her,” Jeno insisted, his voice laced with guilt. “It sort of just happened…and I know how much you like her. But no matter how much I try, I just can’t get rid of these feelings.”

Jisung shook his head in disbelief, his fists clenched at his sides. “All this time, I actually thought I had a chance with (Y/n), but my own best friend goes behind my back. I feel like a complete idiot.”

Jeno’s heart twisted painfully at the sting that came with his friend’s words. He knew he screwed up badly and Jisung had every right to be upset with him. He wasn’t even sure if this was something that could be fixed so easily. 

“I’m sorry, Jisung-ah. I just didn’t want to hurt you,” he lamented.

But his apology wasn’t what Jisung wanted to hear. “Well you did hurt me,” he snapped, his voice cracking with emotions. “I trusted you, Hyung. You were supposed to have my back.”

Jeno cursed under his breath and reached out to touch his friend’s shoulder. “I still do, Jisung-ah.”

But the boy flinched away and took a step back. “I can’t be around you right now. And don’t follow me this time,” Jisung said, his voice stern and final.

With that, Jisung turned and walked away, leaving Jeno standing there with a heavy heart full of guilt and regret. He wanted to call out and explain further, but he knew there was nothing more he could say to undo the pain he had caused his best friend. Things weren’t supposed to happen this way and it was all his fault.

The weight of his actions left him feeling crushed.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ the end of first loves

The days since their fallout with Jisung weighed heavily on Jeno. Any texts he sent were left on read and whenever they crossed paths, Jisung walked straight past him without a second glance. Jeno swore he was on the verge of losing it. 

He was angry. Angry at Jisung for not hearing him out, angry at you for confessing to him at the festival of all times. But mostly, he was angry at himself for letting this all happen in the first place. He should’ve known that nothing good would come out of falling for his best friend’s crush.

Wallowing in his despair, Jeno isolated himself in the club room where Jaemin eventually found him. The other dark-haired male sighed when he saw the troubled expression on his friend’s face.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding out lately?” Jaemin remarked lightheartedly, pulling out a chair from the table to sit across from him. 

Jeno sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s not like I have anywhere else to go. Jisung keeps ignoring me and I can’t even look at (Y/n) right now. They both probably hate me.”

“Yeah, I tried talking to Jisung and he still seems pretty mad. This was the first time he’s really liked someone,” Jaemin pointed out. His tone was sympathetic but it only made Jeno feel worse.

He slammed his fist against the table, not even caring about the sting it left on his knuckles. “I know! Everything is messed up because of me and I have no idea how to fix it.”

There was a tense silence that hung in the air, Jaemin not having expected his friend’s sudden outrage. But he couldn’t necessarily blame him. 

Jaemin sighed empathetically, leaning forward with a serious expression. “Look, I get that you’re in a tough spot, man. But you can’t blame yourself for everything. Sometimes things just happen, and people get hurt.”

Jeno slumped in his chair, the anger in him slowly simmering as Jaemin placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “What matters now is how you handle it,” he continued. “Jisung just needs some space right now, he’ll come around eventually. As for (Y/n), maybe it’s time to talk to her and sort things out.”

Despite the guilt that still lingered in him, he knew Jaemin was right. As painful as it was to think about it, he understood what he needed to do.

════════

Nearly a week had slipped by since the festival, and Jeno finally encountered you again at the pet shelter. The awkwardness between you was palpable, and few words were exchanged throughout the volunteer shift.  It wasn’t until after you changed out your volunteer clothes and prepared to leave that Jeno gathered the courage to say something.

Exiting the building together, Jeno hesitated before breaking the silence. “Hey, can we talk for a moment?”

He could see the apprehension in your eyes when you glanced at him. But then you gave him a light nod of agreement. 

That was how you ended up seated at a nearby café. Jeno fidgeted with the sleeve of his jacket, unable to meet your eyes at first. He noticed your nervousness as you lightly tapped the cold glass of your iced latte. 

You seemed to sense his unease and responded with a gentle smile. “It’s okay, Sunbae. Just tell me.”

Jeno could already feel his heart sinking as he heard you speak so kindly to him. He hated that what he was about to say would hurt you, but it was what had to be done. He had to end things.

“I…we…” he started, finding it hard to articulate. “I don’t think this is going to work out between us.”

He could see your smile waver slightly, but you encouraged him to continue with a nod. Glancing down, he stared into his own cup of coffee which had probably gone cold now. 

Sighing softly, he leaned forward to explain. “The truth is, Jisung was the one who liked you from the beginning. I was supposed to help him get closer to you…but then I started to feel something for you and now I brought you into this mess.”

You stayed silent, processing what he just told you. He could tell you were surprised by his confession. Perhaps you had been too focused on someone else to notice.

“Oh, I had no idea…,” your voice trailed off, unsure of what to say to this.

Jeno swallowed hard, forcing himself to continue. “Now I understand why Jisung liked you so much,” he tried to smile but failed. “And I really do like you, (Y/n). But… Jisung is my best friend, and I betrayed him. So I don’t think it would be right for us to be together.”

Your reaction was a lot calmer than he thought it would be, almost as if you had anticipated things going in this direction after the way things ended the other night.

“It’s okay Sunbae, I understand. Thank you for being honest with me,” you replied softly. Your voice remained steady, but Jeno could hear the underlying melancholy in it.

The silence that followed was so agonizing that one could practically hear the sounds of hearts breaking. Jeno could see you were struggling to hold a smile, and a hundred apologies wouldn’t be enough to express how sorry he felt about all this.

When you finally parted ways, Jeno shoved his hands in his pockets, watching as you walked farther and farther away from him. But no matter how awful he felt, he kept telling himself that things were better this way.

Later that day, Misun was starting to panic when you didn’t respond to any of her texts. All you had told her was that Jeno and you met up to talk today, and she hadn’t heard anything from you since then. 

Figuring you had to be back on campus by now, Misun ventured outside to search for you. Just as she was about to pass the space between the engineering building and the liberal arts building, the sound of someone crying stopped and made her pause. 

That was when she found you nearly crumpled to the ground with your hands pressed against your eyes, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

“(Y/n)?” she called out cautiously, crouching down beside you.

You didn’t look up, but your voice trembled as you replied. “I feel so stupid for crying. It's not like we were even together.”

This heavy feeling of sadness was unfamiliar, a weight you hadn’t carried before. Confusion mingled with sorry, leaving you uncertain about its source. Was it disappointment? Betrayal? Or simply the abrupt end of something that never fully began?

“How can you not be upset?” Misun affirmed gently. “He’s your first love.”

Hearing her words caused more tears to well up in your eyes, and you buried your head in your knees. It suddenly dawned on you that Jeno had been your first love. You had heard too many stories of first loves ending bitterly, but you never expected it to hurt this much. As much as you wanted to harbor resentment for what happened, you couldn’t find it in you to be angry. Instead, you were left to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart.

Meanwhile, Jeno sat in a dimly lit bar, three empty bottles of soju strewn across the table. Jaemin watched sympathetically as his distraught friend poured more into his glass. It was unusual for the both of them to drink, a clear indicator to Jaemin of just how deeply Jeno was affected by the situation. 

“So you ended things with her?” Jaemin asked, eyeing Jeno as he downed the shot.

“It’s what I had to do,” he murmured in response, his voice hoarse.

His gaze fixed on his reflection through the shot glass, and he saw the misery etched on his face. Gosh, he was a complete mess. How had everything gone so wrong?

Jeno heard Jaemin sigh as he patted him on the shoulder, offering a small measure of comfort. “You did the right thing, Jeno-yah,” he assured him. “Maybe it’s for the best, you know?”

Maybe the alcohol had finally set into his system as Jeno placed his glass firmly on the table. Memories of all his stolen moments with you flooded his mind, and he felt the sting of tears springing to his eyes. Cursing under his breath, he harshly swiped at them with his hand, feeling pathetic.

Jaemin pretended not to notice he was crying and silently stayed by his side. What else could he say? He knew how much Jeno liked you, and it was unfortunate that things unfolded this way. If Jeno was feeling this devastated, Jaemin could only imagine the turmoil you must be going through.

Perhaps, this was simply one of those instances where nobody found their happy ending.

════════

Eventually, the sharp sting you initially felt was gradually replaced by a dull ache in your heart. Misun made an effort to lift your spirits was appreciated. Some of your other friends noticed your despondency lately. But you brushed off their concerns with the excuse that you were just tired, feeling guilty for damping the mood.

All the crying and emotional turmoil had drained you of energy. The smiles you offered customers at the café felt strained, and focusing on assignments required every ounce of motivation you could muster.

Having to see Jeno from time to time at club meetings only made things more difficult. You tried not to make eye contact, yet sometimes you couldn't escape the weight of his sorrowful gaze, which tugged at your heart. Even sitting in the playroom surrounded by cats no longer brought you the joy it once did, not even when a kitten nestled snugly in your lap.

Nervously, you exhaled as you stood outside of the dance team’s practice room. You had finally gathered the courage to return Jisung’s hoodie, which had been neatly washed weeks ago. It had been neatly washed a while ago, but you had been hesitant to see Jisung after everything, fearing the awkwardness. Thus, the light blue clothing had been sitting untouched on the top of your dresser for some time.

“(Y/n)? What are you doing here?” Jisung’s surprised voice snapped you out of your thoughts. The other students exiting through the door briefly glanced at the two of you as they passed by.

Straightening your posture, your mind raced to find the words you had prepared. “I–uh, I wanted to give this back to you,” you said, holding out the hoodie. “Sorry it took me so long to return it.”

Jisung slowly accepted the hoodie with a grateful smile. “It’s okay, thanks for giving it back.”

You returned his smile, feeling some of the tension in your shoulders ease. As you exhaled softly, a sense of relief washed over you. This was the moment where you could simply excuse yourself and make your exit. Yet, looking at Jisung stirred a mix of emotions within you.

“Do…do you have time to talk?” you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

The tall male standing in front of you remained silent, hesitating for a moment. Eventually, he gave you a small nod and you spared him a grateful look, heading outside the building to find a bench to sit on.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady your nerves. Despite all the mental preparation you did the previous night, you didn’t feel as ready as you’d hoped. Jisung’s tense posture made it clear he wasn’t exactly calm either.

“I…I just wanted to say I’m really sorry, Jisung,” you finally spoke, glancing down at your shoes. “I didn’t realize you felt that way about me, and I never meant to come between you and Jeno.”

Jisung’s expression softened, and he laughed awkwardly. “It’s not your fault, (Y/n). You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Though his voice was reassuring, you still felt incredibly guilty for causing conflict between him and Jeno. As a moment of silence passed, a pang of sadness lingered within you. Jisung had always been so genuine with you, yet you couldn’t give him the answer he wanted.

“I think you’re an amazing person, Jisung-ah,” you said, hoping he could hear the sincerity in your voice. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and I’m always at ease when I’m with you.”

Jisung inhaled deeply, a wistful smile playing on his lips. “Thank you, (Y/n). It makes me happy to hear that.”

Smiling back, you folded your hands in your lap. “I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings…”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Jisung sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Feelings aren’t something we can control, so there’s no need to be sorry.”

You looked up, surprised by the maturity in his response. Honestly, you hadn’t considered it from that perspective until he brought it up. But you still knew that this couldn’t be easy for him. Nobody liked rejection.

“I guess you have a point. But I know that the girl who ends up with you will be very lucky,” you said, gently.

He glanced at you appreciatively. “It means a lot to hear you say that, thank you.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the heaviness of the conversation hanging in the air. Sensing that it might be a good time to part ways, you stood up from the bench.

“I guess I should get going,” you cleared your throat quietly. “I’ve probably taken up enough of your time already.”

Jisung shook his head and assured, “No, you’re all good. I’m glad we talked.”

“Me too,” you hummed in response, definitely feeling like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. Following you, he rose from the bench and paused briefly before extending his hand. 

“Thank you, (Y/n),” he said, his voice catching slightly. “For being my first love.”

You could see the tears glossing over his eyes, tugging at your heartstrings. Trying to hold back your own tears, you accepted his handshake with a sad smile.

Nodding gently, a lump formed in your throat. “Thank you too, for being such a great friend,” you whispered softly, afraid that tears might escape if you spoke any louder.

With heavy hearts, you both shook hands firmly before parting ways. Jisung sighed as you departed first. Things hadn’t turned out the way he had wanted them, but he couldn’t just stay hung up on what could’ve been.

Despite the bittersweet swirl of emotions inside him, he couldn’t help but smile as he watched you walk farther away. For his first love, he could at least say it ended with no regrets.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ reconciling

Jeno had been navigating through days that felt like weeks, his usual routine disrupted by the absence of you and his strained relationship with Jisung. Even though he had done everything he could to make up for his actions, he couldn’t rid himself of the gloominess that clouded his every thought. His mind constantly replayed the events that led to this rift between him and Jisung.

So when his phone screen lit up with a message from Jisung, asking to meet after class, Jeno’s heart raced with a mixture of apprehension and hope. They agreed to meet at the PC bang they went to all the time during their high school days. Jeno remembered all the trouble they got into when their parents found out he and Jisung were skipping their after-school programs to go there.

Jisung was already there by the time he arrived, sitting in their usual spot near the middle of the back row. Peering at his screen, Jeno noticed he was already warming up with an old game they used to play. 

“Hey,” Jeno greeted cautiously, trying to keep the awkwardness out of his voice as he settled into the gaming chair next to him.

Other than the nod of acknowledgement he received, Jisung’s expression remained unreadable. The younger male briefly glanced up at him, his fingers pausing on the rainbow keyboard.

“Want to start with PUBG?” Jisung asked, his voice lacking the cold tone from their last interaction.

Jeno’s shoulders relaxed slightly, and he nodded with a smile. Soon enough, the familiar click of keyboards and the hum of the PC field the air as they dove into the game. Within ten minutes of playing, they were high school students again, shouting at each other as they fought through the virtual battlegrounds together.

“Ugh I died again,” Jisung groaned in frustration, leaning back in his seat.

Jeno shook his head with a chuckle. “I told you to go the other way!”

In the last seconds of the game, Jeno let his character die and pushed back from the computer slightly. The laughter died down as the flashbacks of recent events seemed to cross both of their minds. Feeling more response as the older one in this friendship, Jeno was the first to speak up.

“I’m really sorry, Jisung-ah,” he began earnestly. “You have every right to be upset with me. I should’ve just talked to you when things started to change. But I wasn’t being honest with myself either, and you got hurt because of me.”

Jisung remained silent, his gaze distant as he processed Jeno’s apology. After a tense moment, he finally responded, his voice calm but tinged with lingering hurt.

“I know you’re sorry, Hyung. You betrayed my trust, and seeing you kiss (Y/n) that night...it felt like you pulled the rug out from under me,” he replied softly, leaning his head against the chair. 

A familiar pang of guilt surged within Jeno. He knew his actions were inexcusable and he didn’t expect Jisung to forgive him immediately, or perhaps ever. Regardless, he was grateful for the opportunity to offer a sincere apology.

“But…” Jisung’s voice then trailed off, his grip on the mouse loosening. “I understand that you can’t really control who you have feelings for. And after thinking about it a lot, I realize I wouldn’t have known how to bring it up if I were in your shoes.”

Jeno felt a sudden wave of relief crash onto him, filled with gratitude for his Jisung’s understanding. He couldn’t help but be impressed with his friend’s maturity. When had scaredy-cat Park Jisung grown up so much?

“Thank you for saying that…and I really am sorry,” he said, his voice carrying genuine conviction.

Jisung waved him off, his nose scrunching in slight disgust. “Hyung, stop apologizing. It’s getting weird,” he said with a chuckle, reminding Jeno that not everything about Jisung had changed.

The two of them shared a laugh, and Jeno finally started to feel like things were returning to normal. Well, almost everything. There was still one lingering regret that stuck in the back of Jeno’s mind. Although he didn’t say anything, Jisung sensed it too.

As they prepared for the next game to start, Jisung tapped on his keyboard in contemplation before deciding to say something.

“You know, (Y/n) came to talk to me a few days ago,” he said, “I kinda had a feeling before the festival happened, but it’s obvious you both care about each other a lot.”

Jeno found himself blinking in surprise, unsure if he was hearing correctly. Slumping back in his seat, he shook his head in denial. “No…it doesn’t matter. I’ve already decided to step back.”

Especially not after everything that happened. Although his heartbeat still sped up at the thought of you and catching a glimpse of you around campus pulled at his emotions, he didn’t want to reopen wounds that had nearly cost him his best friend.

“It’s okay hyung,” Jisung said, leaning forward with a reassuring smile. “I can tell you really like her. You should be together.”

Jeno leaned back in his seat, his mouse hovering over the computer screen for a moment.

“Are you sure you'd be okay with it?” he asked tentatively.

Jisung nodded firmly, his expression turning serious. “Yeah. But if you hurt her, I won’t forgive you Hyung.”

“I won’t, don’t worry,” Jeno promised sincerely. “Thanks Jisung-ah”

The two exchanged understanding smiles before refocusing on the game. Jeno finally felt like he could breathe again. Now, without having to hold back his feelings anymore, maybe he could have a second chance with you.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ baby steps

Before immediately running to you, Jeno made a conscious effort to wait a bit. Despite Jisung’s assurances— practically fifty times now— that he was cool with it, Jeno still wanted to be cautious. He also wasn’t entirely sure if you still had feelings for him. Honestly, he couldn’t blame you if that turned out to be your response.

It wasn’t until the end of the week, during a club meeting about organizing a fundraiser event for the animal shelter later in the month, that he finally saw you again. The room was abuzz with chatter and plans, but Jeno’s focus was on you. You were seated across the table from him, intently listening to the discussion.

After knowing you for a while, Jeno noticed that you tended to stay quiet in group settings, listening attentively to whoever was speaking. You seemed more comfortable when talking one-on-one or with just a few people. Even then, you spoke softly and blushed easily when you felt the focus shift to you. But he found that side of you to be kind of cute. Actually, he thought your entire personality was quite endearing.

As the meeting finally wrapped up and people began to disperse, Jaemin caught Jeno’s eye. Without saying a word, Jaemin made a not-so-subtle gesture toward you as you packed away your laptop. Jeno’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, but he knew what his friend was encouraging him to do.

After exhaling deeply, Jeno pushed himself to approach you as more people left the room. Determined to take this step, he ignored the way his heart raced with a mix of anticipation and nervousness. 

“Wait, (Y/n)!” He called out before he could chicken out.

Catching your attention, you turned around looking a bit surprised. But you quickly recovered, your eyebrows raising with careful curiosity. 

“Oh Sunbae, did you need something?”

For a second, Jeno’s brain momentarily forgot how to form words. “No, I—uh…I wanted to ask if you have a minute?”

He noticed a flicker of uncertainty pass through your eyes as you nervously gripped the strap of your bag. Nevertheless, you managed a small nod and pulled out your chair to sit down.

Thankful for the lack of a negative response, Jeno took a seat across from you. His fingers drummed nervously against the table as he scrambled to recall the speech he had half-prepared. However, your patient gaze helped him relax a little.

“So, um I met up with Jisung the other day,” Jeno started to explain, rubbing the back of his neck. “We had to talk through some things, and I apologized. He forgave me and now we’re all good.”

Your eyes brightened at this news, and you placed a hand over your chest in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I was really worried I ruined things for you two.”

He shook his head with a reassuring smile, “No, you didn’t ruin anything. I was the one who made a mess of things. But Jisung was pretty understanding about it all, which I’m grateful for.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” you breathed.

Jeno could hear the sincerity in your voice, which he appreciated. Pausing for a moment, he glanced down at his hands before speaking again.

"He also said that it’s okay for us to be together," Jeno said, hastily adding, "But I completely understand if you don’t want to give me a second chance. Especially after everything that happened.”

It took you a minute or two to digest his words, trying to process this sudden information. Then a small smile began to form on your lips, and he watched as your gaze lowered shyly.

“Well if Jisung is truly alright with it, then I guess I’m open to that,” you replied softly, your smile growing warmer. 

Jeno’s face lit up with relief and a glimmer of joy. “That’s great to hear because…I really like you, (Y/n).”

His confession made you blush, a giddy feeling welling up inside. Though he had technically kissed you first that one time, he hadn’t given a clear response when you first confessed. So you were elated by the confirmation that your feelings were not unrequited.

Being the socially awkward individuals you were, neither of you were sure what to do next. But Jeno stood up first, swinging his school bag around his shoulder.

“If you don’t have anything else planned today,” he asked with a hopeful expression. “Do you want to go grab a meal or something?”

Your smile remained, and you got up from your chair. “If food is involved, I’m in.”

Jeno chuckled warmly at your response, his heart beating rapidly with excitement as he held the door open for the two of you to exit the room together. As you both made your way outside, a moment of hesitation flickered between you. 

With the dynamics between you two having shifted significantly in just a few minutes, you were uncertain about navigating the new boundaries. As both of you internally pondered this, you exchanged subtle glances and shared a nervous laugh.

“Maybe we should take things slow,” you quietly suggested. “Like baby steps, you know?”

Although you couldn’t help but think of that passionate kiss you first shared. Back then, you and Jeno certainly jumped a few levels and things didn’t end that great.

Jeno was quick to nod in agreement, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

The two of you stood there for a moment, unsure of where to start with taking “baby steps.” Deciding to be brave, Jeno gently took your hand in his, your fingers intertwining perfectly.

“Is holding hands okay for now?” He asked with a smile so adorable it made your heart flutter.

Trying to suppress your shyness, you nodded tentatively in response. The warmth of his hand contrasting with your own slightly cool one felt both comforting and reassuring. It was like that day he saved you from the motorcycle, his touch was gentle yet protective. Now that you thought about it, you got that feeling from kissing him too. But that type of thing could wait a little bit. Baby steps, you reminded yourself.

After holding back feelings for so long and dealing with some obstacles, both of you found joy in simply holding hands. Jeno hadn’t felt this laid back in a long time.

No more hiding or fighting his feelings. Finally, he could breathe freely and follow his heart.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

~ epilogue

Time flew by a lot quicker than Jeno expected. It felt like he blinked and suddenly three months had flown by with you. Since that day, his feelings for you only grew stronger and it felt so great not having to hide them anymore. Jeno couldn’t help but also notice how your smiles seemed brighter when you were together. Once the initial shyness wore off, your conversations flowed effortlessly, deepening your understanding of each other with each passing day.

The weather was getting warmer, and Jeno had fallen into this routine of walking you home after you got off your shifts at the café. The street lamps cast a soft glow, illuminating the path as you stroll hand in hand.

“You know, you don’t have to walk me to my dorm every night,” you said, gently bumping your shoulder against his. “Especially when you have an eight a.m. class the next morning.”

Jeno smiled to himself, squeezing your hand lightly. “Yeah, but I want to. Besides, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you walk back alone when it’s dark out?”

You sighed in defeat, realizing it was hard to argue with his logic. And if you were being honest with yourself, you did appreciate getting to spend some extra time with him. Jeno's lips curled into a satisfied smile, pleased that you didn't protest further. A comfortable silence enveloped you both as you walked, savoring the simple pleasure of each other’s company.

“Hey, don’t you think Jisung and Misun are getting closer lately?” you asked, the thought suddenly popped into your mind.

His eyes met yours with a hint of surprise. “You noticed too? I thought I was the only one.”

“Well, Misun hasn’t said anything to me outright,” you mused, “But I catch them exchanging glances with each other all the time.”

Jeno chuckled, knowing how you picked up on these things so quickly. Ironically enough, you seemed completely oblivious to how he used to stare at you all the time before dating.

Nodding in agreement, he added, “Yeah, and apparently Jisung saw Misun’s performance for cheer at the festival. I guess he’s been kind of impressed by her ever since.”

You felt a surge of excitement at the prospect of your friends getting together. Misun had mentioned to you that Jisung was helping her come up with a new routine for her upcoming cheer competition. Those two have definitely been spending more time together, and you were all for it.

“They’d look so cute together,” you sighed dreamily, picturing them in your mind.

Jeno glanced down at his shoes, frowning a little. “But not cuter than us, right?”

Your head turned to see the subtle pout of jealousy on his lips, making you giggle. After being with him for a while, you learned that your boyfriend tended to get sulky quite often. Before your shyness could kick in, you reached up on the tip of your toes to give him a small peck.

Gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, you paused to reassure him. “Of course not. I think Jaemin Sunbae said we’re the type of cute that single people envy.”

Any trace of sulkiness slowly faded from his handsome face, replaced by his adorable eye smile. His strong arms instinctively encircled around your waist, drawing you closer to him. Gazing lovingly into your eyes, he brushed back a lock of hair behind your ear. The familiar unspoken attraction crackled in the air and the two of you leaned in naturally for a sweet kiss.

Unlike your first kiss, this one unfolded slowly, with the passion simmering gently between you. Jeno easily forgot everything around him, one of his hands getting lost in your hair while the other held you securely against him. Meanwhile, your hands rested comfortably on his broad shoulders, delighting in the sensation of his lips guiding yours in a series of tender, warm kisses.

However, you were the first to pull away, knowing that this moment sadly couldn’t last forever. The night was already growing late, and a nagging voice in the back of your mind warned you to be more careful. 

“As much as I’d love to keep going, we’re going to get penalized for missing curfew again,” you mumbled, lightly squeezing his hand.

Jeno frowned, clearly displeased about the abrupt end to the kiss. But he knew you were right. For some reason, your RA was super strict about everyone being in their dorm rooms by 10 p.m.

With a sigh of resignation, he nodded reluctantly and allowed you to start walking again. But Jeno couldn’t be upset for long, knowing he’d have plenty more opportunities to feel your soft, pillowy lips against his. He was a little clingy when it came to you, and thankfully you didn’t seem to mind.

Though Jeno felt pretty miserable earlier in the semester, now he couldn’t be happier to be alive. With Jisung still as his best friend and now having you by his side, he felt like he could accomplish anything.

Being in love had that sort of effect on people, Jeno supposed. And he had a feeling you would agree with him on that too.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

previous masterlist -> current masterlist

[midnightshade]

GojoHime: Evidence and Discussion

Jujutsu Kaisen isn't a romance series. It's a horror action series that focuses more on platonic bonds and camaraderie between its characters. That being said, just as any shounen series, it has its fair share of ships, each with its own assortment of crumbs and small details.

GojoHime is a particularly interesting ship to look at. Being a massive fan of it myself,  it's fun to pick through the evidence that supports it. I'd like to share the evidence that I and many other GojoHime fans have found. I'll be starting with the smaller, weaker evidence first and working my way up to the strongest evidence.

Before I start in earnest, I want to clarify that this isn't made to attack any other ship. People can ship whatever they want, and no ship in the series is canon (aside from exceptions like Hakari and Kirara). I like GojoHime so I want to talk about it. That's really it.

With that out of the way, let's begin.

First, let's start with the evidence outside of the manga itself. This one isn't very compelling, but it is cute. In Japan, there is a chip brand called Bakauke. Bakauke has two mascots known as Borin and Barin, who are girlfriend and boyfriend. When Bakauke collabed with Jujutsu Kaisen, Utahime and Gojo were chosen to represent the Borin and Barin respectively, thus being depicted as girlfriend and boyfriend.

Moving on to evidence found within the actual manga, we see that on the splash page for Gojo and Utahime, the print behind them depicts arrows known as a Yagasuri pattern. In Japan, this is a symbol often used for weddings. It's meant for good luck because "a shot arrow does not return," and therefore, a married woman does not (or should not) return to her parents.

We also see depictions of them under an umbrella often used at weddings. Sharing an umbrella is also a common romantic trope in Japan.

Other smaller evidence exists in the form of their phone call. This consists a beeper code, where the number of their call spells out "I like you" in code, and another interesting detail is that Satoru calls Utahime from his recent contacts, implying that he calls her often.

Gojo and Utahime were made to be opposites. Aside from the obvious "opposites attract" trope, it creates a compelling visual story between them. Man and woman, strong and weak, modern and traditional, blue and red. Satoru hates alcohol and loves sweets while Utahime loves alcohol but hates sweets.

Gege said Gojo only puts down his Technique with people he trusts, which we see him do with Utahime. He trusts her enough to have to actively put his Technique back in place after she throws a teacup at him.

Moving on to some of the strongest and most convincing evidence, we have Waka Inoue, Utahime's very own technique, and Gege's past works.

Gojo had a picture of Waka Inoue as his background as a teenager. He clearly finds her attractive, as is common, considering she's a popular model, but the reason why this is important is that Inoue shares a lot of similarities with Utahime.

Both women have noticeable bangs, they're the same height (166cm), and they share a love for alcohol, karaoke, and sports, specifically baseball. Waka is described once as a "competitive crybaby who hates to lose," and as we see in the Anime, Gojo has a way of firing Utahime up and she is also prone to being a bit of a scaredy-cat and a crybaby. We also see her more competitive side come out during the baseball tournament between Kyoto and Tokyo.

Moving on to Utahime's Cursed Technique, as some Japanese fans have pointed out, Utahime's Soro Soro Kinku (Solo Forbidden Area) is based on a real love song about forbidden love with lyrics about a masked lover. The records from the singer, Akina Nakamori, are called Utahime records, and the singer even does Gojo's unlimited void hand sign during her live performances of her song, "Fin."

The most compelling bit of evidence for me is Gege's past works. Two of his three one-shot manga have characters who are very similar to Gojo and Utahime. The male protagonist is usually cocky and teases the female protagonist, while the female protagonist gets annoyed at his antics but is otherwise down to earth and kind.

In Nikai Bongai Barabarujura, the protagonist, Noroma, reminds me of teen Gojo in appearance and behavior. He is "the strongest" who teases Nodoka, the female protagonist, for being weak but has an obvious respect for her drive and inner strength.

In Kamishiro Sosa, we have a similar set-up as before. The male protagonist, Ganji, is very energetic and careless with the female protagonist, Rekko's, feelings, and is seen to have a very similar type of banter as Gojo and Utahime have.

Gege clearly likes that type of pairing, which isn't surprising given the bickering couple and rivals to lovers is a popular trope in romance. It's not unusual for Mangaka to reuse old ideas, and that seems to be what happened with Gojo and Utahime. Even their appearances share similarities.

As you can see, GojoHime has a lot of thought put into it, and it's very interesting to see the little details Gege has put into their dynamic. There's definitely a reason why so many adore this pairing, and I'm glad Gege has paid attention to that.

[utilitycaster]

Do you think the god debate and narrative around it in C3 would be more compelling if Ludinus only focused on killing the Betrayer Gods a la Cassida? As many pointed out, the impact that Primes have on mortals is largely positive. Aside from cool abilities, they give healing, meaning and comfort to their followers. Up until very recently (Braius) we haven't seen Betrayers do much of that and their followers are, more often than not, people who would cause great harm to others.

I actually do not. There's multiple questions in here, and honestly I could probably write 5000 words on any of them, which I'm not going to do, but I will split this up into components.

First: I don't think Ludinus is the problem at all. He is unambiguously the villain, but he is always narratively compelling. It is fun to make fun of him because he is genuinely a fantastically crafted villain. When I dunk on villains who are boring, it's nowhere near as fun because all you can say is "wow what do you even do. boring-ass" whereas Ludinus is full of interesting possibilities and hooks to be like how can you be so smart and have lived for so long and seen so much and come to the fucking worst conclusions. There's a reason why people have been side-eyeing him consistently since at least his first speaking appearance in Campaign 2, if not his first appearance ever, in Felderwin, and it's because he's a great character who I hope dies horribly. So his motivations are fine. I'm not saying the possibility you suggest wouldn't be a very interesting different story, but my complaints about narrative and the gods debate do not require anything different from Ludinus, who has been a consistent bright spot within the muddied narrative by being a consistent blot on Exandria and also sometimes the moon.

The narrative and the god debate are intertwined - the issue is a dull indecision that plagues both of them - so I'm splitting this one up a little differently.

What do I as a viewer think is the most reasonable stance regarding the gods based on my understanding of the worldbuilding of Exandria?

What is interesting to watch?

And therein lies the problem. I, as a viewer, think that killing the gods is a bad idea, and I've articulated this in various spaces and am not going to write another 5000 words about it right now, but between the events of past campaigns; the events of this campaign including Downfall; who within the narrative supports the choice to not kill the gods; and the complete uncertainty regarding the fate of existence let alone mortaldom should they be killed or chased away I have come to this position. Any counter-argument tends to rely either on entirely false statements, or a nebulous "a better world is possible" without any assurances that the allegedly better world is, in fact, probable. Ironically enough, I am not willing to take a leap of faith.

But as for what's interesting to watch? That's an entirely different story. My issue with the the gods debates is that they are endless, circular, indecisive, and between the least informed group of PCs we've had by a large margin. They say the same 5 sentences in different words over and over. It's like watching a bunch of high people while you're sober. It only hits hard if you're stupid. For more on this see here and here. If Bells Hells had decided 30 or 40 episodes ago to side with Ludinus, or to try to only kill the Betrayers, or to oppose Ludinus but kill the gods? Great. Fantastic. I'm not saying I wouldn't have had my critiques of it given the worldbuilding setup as described above, but I think it would have held up infinitely better as a standalone story, at least, than it does now. My problem is that instead they had endless circular indecisive conversations during a bunch of (comparatively much more interesting) fetch quests, finally came to some kind of conclusion that gave the end game some structure and direction like 4 episodes ago, and then had yet another wrench thrown at them. And convention panels and Cooldown have consistently confirmed my suspicions about the lack of planning in the places where this campaign really needed it. In my conversations after the latest episode, multiple people independently used the term "sludge" to describe their feelings about the plot.

In actual play, I want characters who have clear conviction and make bold and decisive moves because handwringing forever in such a slow-moving medium is excruciatingly boring. Like, do I think Percy in the Briarwoods arc is making good, informed decisions that make him a moral person? Absolutely the fuck not. Do I think the story where he's shooting first and asking questions later is infinitely superior to one where Vox Machina can't decide what to do for 50 episodes? Yeah.

The god debates are ultimately a symptom of this narrative aimlessness. The lack of an answer is the problem, not what the answer is.

[theflyingkipper]

a short crappy essay about emily

The writing of girl characters in TTTE genuinely infuriates me. There’s a lot of girl characters who were done absolutely dirty, but it always comes back to Emily for me.

Emily had agency and attitude and purpose in S8-12 and it was erased in favor of a “hi. I’m nice. Im the girl character” nothing one-note personality. What do we know about post HiT era Emily? (And honestly, S7 Emily too. Her introduction is kind of weak in my opinion). She wants to help out. She’s safety oriented. She’s… I don’t know. You could replace her with Rosie or Rebecca or whoever in the cgi episodes where she’s driving the story, and nothing would change. I can’t name any major differences between Emily post-rewrite and Rosie in her entire tenure. Aside from how they’re introduced to Thomas and interact with him, really… which sucks. They don’t have major differences in characterizations outside interacting with a male lead. 

AND the worst part is that there are moments where you can SEE they were crafting bold, interesting girl characters and they were either completely sanitized or forgotten about. Molly has a very particular basis. It's not a flashy type where the engine’s basis is the center of the character’s entire personality/marketing/etc (Mighty Mac and Hank come to mind). It feels clear to me that Molly was going to be more important. And then… she wasn’t. She appeared like 3 times, said nearly nothing and never appeared again. I wish I lived in a world where Emily kept her bossy personality and had this contrasted by Molly’s shyness and timidity. 

In my perfect world, Emily is bossy and important, and has some complexes about not needing help or knowing more than others. She’s intelligent and rambunctious, feeling like she’s made for more than the fast express duties that she was designed for. She wants to be involved and get dirty. (Which is a sentiment that I think a lot of young girls can relate to!) Maybe this causes other engines to view her as childish, but we know it's because even if she’s an old design- she has youthful zeal. I think that's a compelling personality and character to make from a Stirling Single, rather than just making another “old wise sage” character (we’ve got plenty of those and in different flavors!) An old engine that's hard to register as “old” at all, though not like Edward, she reads like this because she’s childish and immature- Someone immature, but in a distinct flavor of immature than Percy or Gordon. This Emily has so much room to bounce off other characters, and she does. The way she acts in Respect for Gordon comes to mind. Emily’s bossiness brings a much needed shakeup to the monotony of seasons 8-12. 

In addition, big, snooty, important characters are a staple of TTTE, but it's an archetype almost exclusively reserved for male characters. You could make an argument that Daisy and Elizabeth support these, but I think they’re different (or underdeveloped) enough not to fit this. Emily is the exception here. I think it's why she’s remembered so well as the female TTTE character that immediately comes to mind. Emily could be great, and she was great. 

[spaghettiposts]

Who are some of your favourite writers here?

That's a tough one because I love A LOT of them, but here are the ones that have stuck out to me.

Firstly I'll talk about some Wanda writers:

@mionemymind: one of the most compelling writers out there. I think I have a personal bias because we're similar and share similar interests (star wars lol), they've literally written a star wars based wanda fic!!! Apart from that they have really good one shots and stories. My personal favorite one shots have to be To Be Loved Is To Be Considered, The Actress & The Geek, and my personal favorite Blood Drive.

Aside from being a writer Mionemymind is also a really great person to the community and friends, and I can't tell you how many times I've smiled because of their reblogs. Truly awesome sauce.

@targaryenmarvel: From the moment her story "Fallin all in you" came onto my feed, I was desperately hooked. Absolutely one killer of a story and I can't wait for more. Really great writing and its just so perfect, that story meant everything to me at one point <3

@fortuositywritings: I love everything about this authors writing, but my most favorite thing about their style is the humor. It's so natural and well paced, it makes me smile without fail every time. They aren't as active, and I hope they're doing amazing but if I could let this author know that their series I Said No, and Love Bug changed my writing forever, I would do it in a heartbeat. They're one of the reasons I'm writing for Wanda here today.

@ziggyzolch: I discovered their fic on ao3 first and I've got to say it has me hooked. They deal with more serious topics on series and its one of my favorite parts about their style, honestly Your Prettiness is Seeping Through has got to be hands down one of my favorite series in 2024. Amazing work and great representation to those who need it.

And lastly @wandascosmic: I haven't seen much of her until today but her new series you belong with me has quickly become so special to me that I can't help but mention her. The humor between reader and Sam is amazing, but also the interactions between reader and Wanda have my heart aching so sweetly. I feel like a leech with how quickly I've sunk into this story, you belong with me is so sweetly written and I enjoy every second of it. Amazing work.

Now for the Jenna Ortega fandom, I think I have quite a list. There's so many amazing writers out there it's crazy, I'm always so well fed by both fandoms.

I've got to start out with the legendary @cobaltperun: I binged Lost, for 2 days straight. I was HOOKED. so hooked this story got in the way of my personal life because I couldn't stay away from my phone. I love the way you write Tara and gosh did the series kill and heal me. Aside from Lost, Woe out the storm is also such a sweet story. The whole concept Raiju is so interesting to me now and damn do I love a good slow burn. Im just so deeply impressed too by their rapid request process, and how much they get done, its moving.

Another legend @letorip: First I've just got to mention, his headcannons for characters are amazing and I'm CONSTANTLY having to restrain myself from asking for more because I would only continue. I highly recommend them, they're like stories in themselves. But aside from Headcannons, my personal favorite fic of his would have to be somethin' stupid, especially part 3. The whole series is a must read and gosh do I love the writing, its so beautifully described, every inch of it.

@ajortga: every fic of hers is a fucking BANGER. there's never a fic in which I'm left dissatisfied. I love it all, eat it all. When I find her on my feed, you know I'm immediately digging in. Everything is always so fluffy and nice and just makes a girl feel better yk? I completely recommend reading Cute and Absolute, My Girl, and Bear hugs. All super fluffy and heart warming fics, its crazy <333

@persevereforahappyending: This author stabs me, kills me, brings me back to life, and then stabs me again with angst but I go back every time. Specifically to their newest series A Legacies Secret which is. So. Fucking. Good. They really cooked with that one. Every Friday like clockwork I'm checking for notifications and I'm never disappointed. Their writing style just leaves a grip on you and the plots are so clever too, they're very unique and I love them. Luck Runs Out is another great series and damn I revisit that thing once every two weeks for a reminder on what true love really is.

And lastly but not least one of my newest favorite authors of all time is @honorarysimp: Uncanny Distortion was one of the best things I ever read, the plot, whilst held similarities to scream, had such a creative own twist to the authors imagination. I absolutely loved it, Tara and Detective made my day for weeks, and then came Rumor has it and now two others hold my heart, and break it, a lot. this series feels like its gonna hurt me. But overall Honorary simp is such an underrated writer and I really hope that more people will notice you out there and give you some more well deserved attention because God damn your fics are masterfully crafted and I don't even have the words to describe how much I adore them, all I can say is that I carved a space in my heart for Detective and Lucky.

that was longer than I intended but all of these authors came from the top of my head so they mean a lot to me. Tumblr is a way better place with all of these creative souls in it and honestly I wouldn't have gotten far without all this inspiration surrounding me ❤️

[court-jobi]

AAAAH i love your bakugo x biker!reader series every time you post a new story I get so excited their relationship is so cute and your writing is so compelling I just have to read them over and over again

Awwww anon!!! Thank you so much!!! That is high praise, and I appreciate you sharing your love for them so much~ Methinks I need to start a little timeline for that sweet n' spicy reader... and perhaps give you a lil sneak peak into an idea I've had recently where biker!reader is a bit cheeky... all in good fun, right?

To catch up on this series and my other MHA fics, check it out here!

Bakugou x biker!reader WIP incoming...

Picturing UA holding a Work Study Expo -a new initiative by Midoriya to help connect would-be heroes with Pros they may not know yet; namely for the hero courses, but also with added attention for the support students!

Enter our darling biker!reader. Reader is sandwiched by Kirishima and Bakugou to come attend-- the boys both RSVP with a unanimous 'yes' seeing a UA reunion tour in the making, with Bakugou particularly excited to take you there to see his former school since you'd received your secondary education elsewhere.

You're happy for it too; gives you just a little more insight into the place that had a large part in building him up to the hero status he is today...

...until the three of you are checking out the figures across the reception space-- and you freeze when you spot someone. Kirishima clocks it as a starstruck response and despite your harshly whispered word of denial, he makes off in golden retriever fashion to go get them.

Bakugou would be... a bit intrigued to see this reaction from you. Not that you weren't allowed your idols (even though he feels no one holds a candle to Allmight by default), but he was curious as to why you would look so... antsy. It wasn't quite a 'Deku' level of floundering - but that purposeful squaring up of your shoulders and avoidance of his eye contact altogether gave him cocky cause to tease you further.

"What, scared to meet your heroes? Figured you'd be plenty used to that by now."

"Shush,heisnotmyhero."

"Oi--" Bakugou cocks his head to the side, effectively forcing you to look at him over your predicted line of sight. "What's your issue then, angel eyes?"

With an unavoidable storytime bubbling in your gut, you run the risk to see if you can sum everything up for him by the time Kirishima comes back-- or at the very least, figure out the nearest exit to gracefully disappear to for the next fifteen minutes or so....

You pull him aside lightly by the wrist, closer to one of the tables of handouts for the event.

"Okay... You have to remember one thing, promise?"

"Yeah?" Bakugou chimes back, entertained.

"This happened before I met you."

His interest doubles, but smile falls, "...yeah?"

"I have not thought about it one day since.."

"... yeah?"

"Remember how I told you," you tread lightly as some students pass you by with some excited waves, "-when I transferred here, I had to work with that proviso license from the Commissions office 'cuz of the whole 'double-triple-check' applicants' liabilities clauses? And mine took forever and a day, because of all those traffic violations that were completely legal where I was last stationed?"

"Uh-huh."

"And that meant I took nothing but graveyard shifts for the first, like, six months... so I basically broke ground solo before the agency could pick up my contract?"

"Uh-huh...?"

Reader sets the scene for a particular alleyway they'd been stationed at, something of a traffic stop role and in prime position for hopping onto the freeway if needed. Helmeted with your visor up, you could keep on coms while getting a little bit of fresh air to keep you awake.

But it's also the sort where villains make their playground meetups and cause some trouble for unsuspecting folks. It's easy work- though trouble could crop up at any time....

Enter the hero you caught sight of across the room: the man you'd watched string up a trio of baddies so expertly, you knew they were never gonna get anywhere near you, so why flinch?

The hero who'd snidely commented how he coulda appreciated the help, but who you assured with a saucy 'you had it under control, hon'.

The hero who you proved yourself to by jumping into action together in a bit of an impromptu high-speed chase.

The hero who ultimately caught your name, but chose to call you 'Speedy' after your impressive performance. Who said you were no rookie like he thought.

The hero who chipped the lip of your helmet in thanks and patted the rear of your bike in a casual move before setting off into the night again, sufficiently making a mark on your fluttering heart as your new favorite hero of Japan.... who you cannot believe you with and who is now approaching over Bakugou's shoulder:

"... AIZAWA?!?"

"Eraserhead," you corrected gracefully.

A flurry of emotions crossed Bakugou's largely incredulous face, though he settled on merely repeating,

"You flirted... with Aizawa?!"

Forcing Bakugou to lower his volume was a lost cause, but you could control yours, "I had-not-met-you-yet-- remember that!"

And was it considered flirting? You could barely get a read on the guy

"Nah, I'm still stuck on my fucking teacher hitting on you... and you called him what?? You know how fuckin' old that guy is?!!"

"Thirty-nine." you fire back immediately.

"--HEH?"

And you can't stop-- though you have the gall to look a little sheepish.

"Scorpio. Ambidextrous. Has a white cat named after the title character of Samurai Jack."

"...."

"Went on Present Mic's show a few months back.. not that I had a notification or anything for when it aired-"

Bakugou stands in a rare moment of silence. Disbelief, rage, shock, and maybe something heated lay behind his eyes, but you honestly can't tell which is going to win out.

".. you're fucking with me."

"I am not."

"

"Absolutely not! Kats, he is never going to single me out of an entire room here, and think back to one patrol night out of thousands, that's ridicul--"

"Bakugou... 'Speedy'."

Alongside Kirishima's proud presence who had been anxiously awaiting this interaction stood Aizawa: fitted with his off-hours eyepatch but who clearly did -in fact- remember you.

As long as you avoid Bakugou's absolute stare of death, you can properly school your reaction to be one of perfect charm; as always when meeting other Pro-Heroes. It's not like you still hold any feelings whatsoever with this man... but you'd truly rather have this conversation anywhere else than beside your darling Katsuki, who's about to blow up if you so much as smile at his former homeroom teacher.

"Should I be scared that you remember me sans helmet, or flattered?" you offer pleasantly.

Aizawa gives a little bow to you before straightening up with a smooth reply, "I never forget a face."

If looks could kill, Shota Aizawa should be collapsing on the spot under Bakugou's eye. And even if you think it's a harmless comment, you know for a fact you'll be paying for it later.

--Scene--

To be continued, m'loves?

TLDR; Bakugou:

[maingh0st]

the main reason I like Taryn/the Ghost (despite the fact we get microscopic crumbs in the text) is that it’s thematically compelling for them as characters.

the best romances aren't just about ~vibes~ and ~spice~ but about two unique, fully realized characters becoming part of one another's lives. each character carries their lifetime's worth of formative experiences, beliefs about the world, goals, strengths, habits, wounds, coping mechanisms, preferences, etc—so inevitably there's conflict and change and (ideally) growth. this is why we love Jude/Cardan so much!

like, for just one example: Jude always resented the Folk, even as she admired and envied them. she talks about wanting to be better, to be worse, to excel beyond them and rule over them, and ultimately to conquer her fear of them. part of why Jurdan is so great (aside from being The Power Couple) is because falling in love with Cardan forces Jude to accept that sometimes, the Folk can be good and safe and worthy of her trust. in my interpretation, this arc culminates when Cardan is turned into a snake and Jude has to rely on others (Fand, Grima Mog, the Court of Shadows, etc.) rather than just her romantic partner. she does conquer her fear of the Folk—partially through her cunning and tenacity, yes, but also partially through learning to trust her heart and find those with whom she is safe.

but that's not a lesson Taryn needs to learn. she wants to fit in with the fae; she craves their approval. in tcp, Locke's whole shitty test is based on Taryn's ability to prove that, even though she's human, she can live like the fae. and in twk, while Jude is isolated, exhausted, and (rightfully) paranoid about being betrayed, Taryn is constantly surrounded by the Folk. she seems to find belonging among them, yet she almost loses herself in the process. from a story perspective, Locke isn't that interesting of a romantic partner because he only confirms what she seems to already believe: that to belong in faerie, she will have to change and abandon certain parts of herself (represented most starkly by her betraying her sister). she will have to learn to love differently and live by different rules. and she's quite good at it, as we see—but it makes her miserable. so Locke's murder is narratively important (beyond just being Very Fun) because it represents her rejection of the life he insisted she live.

but the Ghost (for as little as we know about him) is half-human and spent part of his life in the human world. I think there is so much potential for the most delicious narrative tension to arise from their dynamic. they both, for their own reasons, straddle both the human and the faerie worlds, yet fully belong to neither. both of them make choices they regret (killing Liriope / betraying Jude) and both of them are harmed as a result (the Ghost's true name being used / Locke being straight-up emotionally abusive). there's a lot of common ground there, but also potential for great conflict considering the very different lives they live.

after the events of tqon, I get the sense that they're both kind of... recalibrating. of course, the Ghost is still part of the Court of Shadows, but the monarchs he serves are very different than Dain, and he's also been freed from the abuse of his true name. and Taryn is a widow, pregnant, the daughter of an exiled general, the sister of the new mortal queen, and seemingly a bit of a phenomenon in the social scene of Elfhame. who are they, and what is their place in this world that isn't built for them? how do they find belonging without losing themselves? what does living a good and fulfilling life even look like for each of them? how do they adapt to their environment without crossing into the territory of self-betrayal? truly just so many questions that are so fun to chew on

[victoriadallonfan]

Rereading Ward, it’s very interesting how Victoria desperately wants to put on this facade of statuesque calm and implacable manner. Even without spelling it out, it feels like she subconsciously wants to be Brandish or Alexandria or Chevalier or arguably Scion: people who don’t break who don’t show any of their emotions and are steadfast about keeping to the job.

Except, that’s not true for them. Brandish, Alexandria, Chevalier, and Scion all break down at various points from the stress, all of them feel hampered by this facade more than anything, and it ruins nearly all but one of their lives.

And it’s especially not true for Victoria. She doesn’t like being this stiff upper lip person, despite her thinking it’s what she’s supposed to do.

Victoria is a passionate person: she likes making jokes and innuendos, she likes pulling pranks and having people pull pranks on her (in good fun), she likes being excited about nerdy shit and movies and music, she loves to hear people talk about their artistic passions, and she craves being able to help those who are dealing with traumas like herself.

She wants to be able to cry and love and hate.

And we see that it’s this side that compels her team to basically adopt her into their therapy group, it’s what helps Fume Hood find the confidence to stay a hero, it helps Ashley feel like she belongs and Kenzie like she can be loved. Rain feels like he actually has some on who will have his back, Sveta has a newfound sister, and the Capricorn twins feel she treats them with dignity and respect.

It even works on some of the villains she fights. Moose is basically her friend who can’t resist her passion for doing the right thing, Prancer finds her amusing but also identifies with her wanting something better than a life such as this, and when she’s trying to rescue the Old Man from the other villains - it’s her removing her mask and making herself more human, joking with them, that allows them to relent and play along.

Even in one of the darkest moments of the story, where Sidepiece is mocking Victoria for her rape, none of the other villains join in. Victoria is hurt, she’s offended, and she’s hating herself because of the comments said to her, but she notices the none of the villains think this is funny or seem comfortable with it. They don’t do anything about it, but it seems pretty clearly signaled that seeing this happen to someone who is visibly hurting is not something they agree with either.

And of course, her friendship and divorce with Tattletale, a person whom Victoria hated for her role in her wretching, but when they put aside the masks and bravado they find a commonality and love to people close to them.

And stranger still, they find themselves recognizing that they each sort of fill gap left by others in their lives, and grow to become deep friends even if it’s of the snarking kind. It’s Tattletale seeing Victoria broken by her power and Victoria seeing Tattletale broken from her trigger event that the first big steps to that friendship are made, and the deal is sealed when Tattletale confides in Victoria her own fears and vice versa.

Being this indomitable and implacable force of nature isn’t strength. It is arguably part of why the Simurgh was the final opponent and so terrifying. Human but not, a mere statue taking action with no care or concept of caring beyond The Mission.

Victoria being able to express her humanity and be vulnerable is what matters and what inspires people around her. And it’s very fitting that Chevalier, a person who, Victoria tried to emulate several times, realizes that maybe it’s time to follow what Victoria is doing and just… be human and vulnerable.

To rest and self care, and acknowledge that you need it.

[mettywiththenotes]

I know the general conclusion people are coming to is "wow so nothing has changed the civilians haven't changed their minds nothing has changed in society" but. how many chapters has it been since the end of the war. actually a better question would be how many days/weeks has it been since the end of the war. because idk man things aren't going to change as quickly as that

You have to factor in how no one outside of Izuku, Shouto and Ochako knew about them wanting to save the villains. When the footage of the final war is inevitably shared around, the first thought probably isn't "wow they saved those bad guys" but likely just the fact that they stopped them from doing more damage meaning they can put them in jail or whatever

Even when you put that aside, society is unlikely to change in a short space of time anyway because there was the general idea that the heroes winning meant bringing things back to how they were. And bringing things back to how they were means a society that favors the good quirks and good victims over the people who are ignored and those who slip through the cracks. If they get that back, then of course things aren't going to change immediately

And in the end, they did get it back. The villains have been stopped. The heroes prevailed. Society is rebuilding as fast as possible like nothing happened. But we've been shown that the idea "things are going back to normal" is usually accompanied by the implication it may seem like that but really things will change in an inevitable way

The saviour squad as a whole (Izuku, Shouto, Ochako, Hawks) all have the potential to speak up about their experiences, prove the world/country wrong about their surface-level view of villains. Shouto and Ochako could relay their thoughts, what their intentions were, what their conclusions are now. Izuku could choose to tell everyone what he saw in Tomura, the crying child. More than that, he could do some introspection, think over his time with Tomura (USJ, mall scene, war arc and so on) and talk about his thoughts too. Hawks being one of the first of the heroes who tried and failed to save his villain is an interesting parallel to Izuku, and also shows that he could have a personal account on this too

With all this in consideration, I believe that it's not going to be a random relaying of these experiences in bits and pieces over the remaining chapters, but rather a single united action together - like their own televised interview or something. It's not like Hawks wouldn't have the power to organize it, the HC literally has the authority to put what they want in the media. Though whether that happens or not remains to be seen

But the point I'm trying to make is that this is going to take time. The whole of society isn't just going to wake up and realize the error of their ways after all of that. There has to be a beginning, a starting line, to the conclusion that maybe villains deserve something better

I say that this is going to take time, while knowing that we have only 3 chapters of the story left... and while it frustrates a lot of people, it's looking to me like this is going to be an open ending. I imagine the very last chapter will show the starting line of change. Personally I'm okay with that, I think it would be compelling. Depending on how it is set out, I don't think it would be a bad ending

Idk how exactly to end this post but... it just seems like people think that all hope is lost because the civilians didn't all collectively wake up the day after the war and change their minds, and I don't think it works that way. It will take time. I believe Hori may give the story an open ending so we are shown the starting line and in the end it will be up to us how things change specifically

[bucklway]

how mello & near fail as proper antagonists from the perspective of a mello & near fan

the most interesting thing a character can do in a story is surprise you. to be caught off guard by a character, you need to already have an idea of who they might be.

for example, if a character is introduced to an audience as the greatest detective the world has ever known, someone who’s intelligent & calculated, the viewer might be shocked when that character makes many wild & risky decisions. it might catch someone off guard to hear that character say something like “i had to test this just in case, i never thought it would actually work..”

it’s such a small piece of information but it tells us SO much about the mystery of L Lawliet. L is known by many as the greatest detective, but his first true introduction to us, the audience, is his boldness, his capacity to take risks. his genius is so great that a shot in the dark for him results in a bullseye.

to introduce a character through other characters’ opinions of them is my favourite way to challenge the viewer’s expectations in a story. i think to be curious is to be engaged, a story should be setting you up with a million questions that are compelling enough to keep you interested bc you know they will be answered eventually.

it’s not very interesting when you know everything about the series’ antagonist right off the bat.

L as an antagonist is so compelling bc he’s shrouded in mystery, not only is light desperate to know his true identity & true feelings, but we are as well. this is where near & mello fundamentally fail as proper antagonists, every part of their characters work for me aside from the way in which information is learned about them. it’s such a harsh contrast from the genius that is L, it’s insulting to the viewers who are reading/watching bc they actually care about this story & its characters.

so why is mello and nears introduction so bad? simple, we receive too much information.

the scene in which they appear for the first time is literally set in the place where they live, talking to the man who is raising them, it’s insanely personal. compare it to how we meet L for the first time: through a computer screen, held by a man who’s identity is hidden by a mask & all we see on that computer is the letter L. sorichiro tells us he’s the greatest detective but no one knows his true identity. it tells you all you need to know about him at that point in the story, L is a smart detective who is overly cautious about revealing his identity. we aren’t told why he’s overly cautious or who the man is holding the computer but it’s enough to get us thinking.

this is the amount of information we get through mello & near’s introduction: their caretaker is named roger, he works at wammys house (the orphanage watari founded, which is also information that was revealed in the last episode) where mello & near live. roger reveals that L is dead, meaning that mello & near have some kind of connection to L. mello is devastated at the news but it’s quickly revealed that this devastation is most likely the cause of frustration that L can’t “pick one of them” what does that mean? don’t worry, this scene makes it very clear. mello & near were raised to be great detectives, one of them was meant to be picked so they could carry on his legacy but he hadn’t chosen one yet. near is cold, seemingly emotionless & fixated on solving puzzles. mello is loud, aggressive & overly emotional. roger suggests that they could work together on the kira case, near seems up for it but mello is enraged. he tells roger “you know i don’t get along with near.” which is such a funny way to establish something about a character, having them explain a fact about themselves to someone who already knows it. mello reveals some deeper insecurities about not being better than near & he runs away from home. near is officially the new L, working to defeat kira.

..so that’s way too much information, right?

that scene is like.. if in episode 11, when misa is being introduced thru the sakura TV tapes, we were also seeing misa’s perspective, watching her every move & hearing all of her opinions. the introduction of misa is interesting because the audience isn’t given the information that there are 2 notebooks yet, we are meant to assume that light is the one doing all of this even if it doesn’t seem like something he’d do.

mello & near fail as proper antagonists bc the narrative doesn’t take them seriously & doesn’t give them the time they need to establish themselves as threats.

i truly do think near & mello could have been amazing, i have my own ideas for how i would’ve personally taken the story after L’s death but this post is already too long lol!