#But also I don't think I would have set the goals Ive set since

[pumpkinland]

I was so real for this

[just-null]

your yan!noritoshi is so wisnwonwpwjw RAAAHHHH going absolutely feral ... i want him . ive had so many thoughts abt him as like a yandere n then i saw your art n absolutely lost it /pos

IM ALL EARS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD FUCK OKAY, HOLD ON, I ALSO HAVE SOME RAMBLES AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YANDERE NORITOSHI BUT IM GOING TO PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT.

I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING MY TJOUGHTS OFFICER. IT WAS MY GLORIOUS CULT MEMBER RIGHT HERE.

MERRY OCTOBER YALL

[disclaimer: im not a writer, but I want to get better. think of this as my practice. it ended up being so fucking long, but i swear it's just rambles, not a fic]

[warning for blood under the cut? keep that in mind for future posts]

OKAY LETS GO.

Bro ok so. if I'm not too delusional (yet) and don’t see him as a yandere, then this guy (Noritoshi) is still a strict fuck. he'd put you on the same level of importance as his clan if not a bit higher. but only by a bit. Your relationship would gradually bloom into something meaningful to him that he’d cherish you wholeheartedly. Only then would you grow in importance to Noritoshi significantly. He'd keep his resolve and all those healthy green flags. Because honestly? Noritoshi is just a green flag, he's so sweet..

But let's twist that into a yandere setting. I don't even need to twist too much, Noritoshi as a yandere is way too fitting.

Noritoshi was abandoned by his mother as a child, thereby fueling his lifelong goals to do as she said and bring her back. He didn't even think on his own accord, nor did he try to find a different way, or even follow her! He accepted his fate and made it his mission to accomplish the goal he was given. Despite the intense pressure of his worth being determined by an ability he was born with and the high expectations from the Kamo clan, he perseveres. That is until [spoilers] Noritoshi is exiled by his clan because of some Kenajku shit. All his hard work and future goals were ripped away from him without a second thought in an instant. Noritoshi was always the second thought time and time again, and now left as a man with nothing but the failure of his desired future.

That wasn't even the yandere part, that was all canon, what the fuck.

Yandere Noritoshi is the type to cling to scraps... He reminds me of an obsessive and protective yandere. obsessive about you because you become his everything.. his goal, his will to keep going, the light at the end of the tunnel. he wants all of you, from the best parts of you to your worst. He's also protective, because he cant handle losing yet another person so important to him. He'd rather tear himself apart than lose you.

He also seems mostly self-aware but can overthink to the point of delusion. For example, you pat him on the back and tell him he did a great job on something. He knows it's nothing to dwell on, but why does he feel like there's more to your words? Should he read in between the lines? but there's only one line! From then on, his mind would reel until he landed on a favorable conclusion. You meant that he was the only one who did great. The others paled in comparison in your eyes therefore you must favor Noritoshi in some way.. right?

Since Noritoshi was pretty deprived of any emotional support, you won't even have to try too hard to get his heart thumping. If you were to give him even just a bit more attention and care than the average person, like making sure he's eating alright or remarking that he's paler than usual after restocking his blood bags, he's hooked. He's self-aware enough to realize his blooming fondness for you is one-sided, so he simply admires you. that is, at the start. Note that Noritoshi is still new to these feelings so he's.. awkward. It's really cute.

Though these moments were cute to you, they slowly became horribly blissful to Noritoshi. Poor you, completely unaware of how you're slowly corrupting him in, what he thinks, is the best way possible just by giving him your attention. He thinks you're the last and only person still believing in him, so much so that everything and everyone else slowly becomes minuscule in the grand seam of things. He feels happy around you, like he matters, like he has someone to trust, like he has someone who won't abandon him. Because of this, he sees you as a new goal. A new hope. Failing you is not an option. Disappointing you is not an option. Hell, even a frown from you is unacceptable in his eyes.

Noritoshi tries to cling to you at this point in his own way... He enjoys it when you speak to him, or even sit next to him, so much so that he seeks you out when you're not there. You'd feel eyes boring holes into the back of your head, a sense of being followed, sometimes seeing your shadow accompanied by another, every time you turn around to be surprised by a familiar face. His footsteps are so quiet that you barely notice Noritoshi walking around.

Unfortunately, due to Noritoshi’s inexperience, the only way he knows how to impress people is by being “perfect” a.k.a. his strict, pain in the ass, annoying heir shtick. He would be the type to get on your case, scold, coddle, nitpick, correct you, and practically look like he's trying to bully you when in reality he's trying to hear praise from you for "helping" you. He’s waiting for you to see the affection and adoration behind his nagging, is he not being obvious enough? oh well, at least your eyes are on him for now. When most people in Noritoshi's life have either put him second or flat-out abandoned him, he's satisfied with anything he can get from you. Though he'd prefer praise, the thought of your attention being given to another even for a second makes his stomach feel like it's tying in knots, so he settles for your annoyed tuts and glares.

Of course, after a while, you'd get tired of this and tell him to knock it off. Or some variation of what a decent human being would do like, “Do whatever you want, but don't meddle in people's business.”

You KNOW he's going to be picking that apart in the middle of the night while looking up at the ceiling. What did you mean by that? Do you mean ANYTHING he wants? As long as he doesn’t bother anyone? Were you talking about yourself and everyone in general? Were you talking about someone specific? Did you leave it up for him to decide? Thoughts and questions circle in his head until he twists your words enough into something that he favors again. Ah, you allow him to do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't get in your way. But he wants to be alongside you... Did you mean in your way to the point of annoyance? Noted. From then on, Noritoshi's strictness softened into light nagging and bearable hovering. He'd knock it off completely through gritted teeth and furrowed brows if you threatened him with the silent treatment. He'll slowly start it up again until you begin ignoring him, only then will he get the hint and relax a bit. only until next time, of course.

The intensity of Noritoshi's coddling can fluctuate depending on your actions. (recklessness, obedience, shyness, etc.) it's his love language.

It's a completely different story if someone else decides to nag you as Noritoshi does... If someone scolds you, Noritoshi's on the offense. He's known for his occasional bluntness and sassy remarks, but this time... He's contradicting himself all in an attempt to get the other person to back away. If the one scolding you brings up points Noritoshi used in the past, he firmly denies them all and stands by your side. He'd rather sound hypocritical than let someone else care for you the way he does. Noritoshi stands in front of you, almost guarding you with his body and begins his barrage of deflective comments through his clenched jaw such as “That's not your place to say” “Shut it, they did no wrong.” “You don't know the reason why they did so, leave them alone.” and other things similar to that. Jeez, take your advice Noritoshi.. He’d argue and become antagonistic towards someone scolding you, even if it's exactly what he was about to do.

The same goes for someone who tries to be gentle with you to a lesser degree. It's nice that people see how wonderful you are, but having your smiles and kind words directed at anyone else other than Noritoshi is... Upsetting. The resentment gradually pools in the pit of his stomach and suddenly finds himself impulsively moving towards you and this "friend." He stands in between you and the kind person, trying his best to conceal his sneers. He wants nothing more than to have the third party get swallowed up by the ground or hit by a car, but he keeps his composure. Noritoshi sternly states how he’ll handle everything from then on and gives the third party a glare that's much more hateful than usual… Finally! Noritoshi has you to himself again! All is right in the world once more...

Noritoshi has always been on a very tight rope... Any wrong step and it’s going to snap. The more Noritoshi gets attached to you, the easier it is to convince himself that it's okay to cross certain lines to make sure you're safe with him. Even if that line he’s crossing, includes murder. It'd happen quicker if he caught feelings after the whole incident with the Kamo clan. You'd be the only thing he has left, the only thing he'd cling onto with every fiber of his being, emotionally and sometimes physically.

And like every fairy tale, a problem unconventionally shows itself much to Noritoshi's dismay... Noritoshi is shown to be prideful at times. Because of this, he'd try to conceal his more embarrassing emotions and reactions towards you. He wants to be seen as someone strong you can rely on, a steady pillar to your stability, someone who will do anything you wish at the drop of a hat, but it’s almost impossible to execute when he feels like he's nothing but putty in your hands at the slightest sign of positive reciprocation.

If Noritoshi felt his face heating up because your laugh caught him off guard, he'd turn his head to hide how that simple action made him nearly melt into mush. If your hand brushed against his, he'd quickly swipe it away. Not because he doesn't want to touch you, but because you'd feel how shaky and sweaty his palms got with just a graze. Noritoshi's gaze always lingers on his bow if you ever touch it causing his aim to decline in accuracy significantly.

He mentally curses himself out every time he pulls away from you because he knows he's sending mixed signals. Noritoshi loves you endlessly, but please spare his fragile heart. Your presence overwhelms him like no other, and he's utterly conflicted on how to act. He can handle being by your side like he wants, but the second your 100% focus is on him and only him, he’ll start to squirm under your gaze. Noritoshi wants to impress you! Stop being so mesmerizing for just a second so he can gather his thoughts and not embarrass himself! A-ah, but don't look away!!!

Tl;dr Noritoshi as a yandere is needy and petty as hell, but will explode if he gets an ounce of affection! He’s also! A creepy hopeless romantic who sends you mixed signals!

[puckpocketed]

hi!!!!! im maybe perhaps a little interested in following th la kings...what th vibes are who th characters are etc n was wondering if u knew of any good primers at all ? :3 !

there are no primers here please return to your seat

serious answer: i am currently occupied with another big beaugtiful baby of a primer ! but. i will commit to a short slideshow that’s funnier + with more pictures at some nebulous point in the future!! deepest apologies 😭👍 i am NOT your kings source. idk who the kings source would even be, but it aint me!!! below is a cross section of my posts so u can vibe check us - click the non-news articles for funnies :)

here’s a tiny one i did for one of our prospects . eurotrap weed dj. just a little guy

Our kids have a history of getting injured right as they’re set to make their big step up. UNLUCKIEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD. btw <3

articles + archive links: x / y - x / y - x / y - x / y

Most recently: Arthur Kaliyev - who wanted to be traded somewhere he would have more opportunities - is freshly, guess what.,... INJURED and just as he made his peace with no trade + turning a new leaf with LA !!!!

the vibes are. LA Kings Youth Movement (soon) (SOON) (<- lie!!!) (PLAY THE KIDS. PLEASE... GOD...) (take my hand. let’s slash rob blake’s tires together <3)

Two Staches

Jordan Spence and QB by @korshrimpski

^ Phillip Danault and his two sons

Raccoon Jesus who does not understand rizz + is having a brat summer !

The vibes at practice + HQ Juice unicorn pic (same day)

[ID: The 2023-24 L.A. Kings celebrating their post practice mini-scrimmage. The forwards, having just scored, celebrate in a puppy pile against the glass. To the far right, Adrian Kempe (#9) also known as Juice, skates into the scrum. He holds his stick to his forehead as though it is a unicorn horn. /. End ID]

The Ghost Of Pierre-Luc Dubois (to ME). a lot of prospects were traded away to acquire him and he um. did not do very well here.

many lak fans in other spaces have strong negative feelings towards PLD (as is their right!) but he’s my failgirlhorsewife and he’s our very best friend and he got traded for Darcy Kuemper over the summer, and i WILL be haunting the cap.s lb because of that. no one on kingstwt will shut up about him so i think they're taking the breakup well 👍

on the topic of Kuemper. sorry i keep linking my own posts but Darcy and Dave. big. natural. <3 our gonjeous double d's...!

these posts aren’t super informative and its a lot of Me... i’m so sorry </3 i just shuffled through my lak tag and tried to remember what was funniest. legitimately cannot find old Kings blogs that are still regularly Posting and Participating so theyre all very new things... we are building these train tracks as we ride HELP.... (I genuinely have no idea what happened to nuke the community on here since i just arrived myself. lak secret community if you’re out there please speak to us … god… it’s so dark in here…....)

it’s been a mini goal of mine to breathe a little life into the tag. this isn't my primary team but i am very fond of them!! i can count on my hands every kings blog ive met here, i legitimately think i know them all?? we are so small i don't even know if we can be counted as a community. but i hope to help make the tag a warm and fun place where we can yell about our failteam <3

2024-25 LAK RENAISSANCE RAAHHHHHHH

[aliusfrater]

apart from the general bullshit the criticism of j2 at work that ive heard is that they loooove to be silly and have fun, completely disregarding how long other staff have been working and making days way longer than they had to be. i have no real source for this but seeing as you know about singer allegations you probably know more than me, what are your thoughts

i actually read an interview from jim parrack, the guy who played dean's siren in 4.14 earlier, and this is what he had to say and jared and jensen on set:

like while it's very much plausible because that's their workplace that they're very much not really at risk of getting fired from and as a result, they're more slack about their own time as well as the time of the people they work with, i just don't think it would ultimately be in any of their best interests to actually permanently hinder the work of themselves and others on set. like these guys are very much already working twelve to sixteen hours a workday, they're miles away from their families and their entire lives are the people they work with. a supernatural episode had a maximum of eight days to be filmed which is forty minutes of Everything within only 128 hours. i doubt they would actually go to any extreme past these aspects of the basic working environment, especially when these are the coworkers they have actual work relationships with that need to be upheld. there's also the basic idea that that j2 are both extremely well experienced actors; jensen's talked about how fast paced and roboticised working on the days of our lives was and jared was quite literally coming off of multiple shows and movies on which he was guest starring. you can see how their past experiences help within their day-to-day abilities even in bloopers or in interviews like the one above i don't think they need the extra time to goof off lol

i recently came across that story of jared's issue with the final scene in 14.12 and the way it as well as other stories they've told regarding working on set is described is really interesting to be because something jared specifically mentions remembering having an issue with, was how much time he was holding the crew back on set while he was continuing to struggle with his lines. and like, this isn't the only aspect of their work relationship/pov ive seen where it's very obvious that they, not only have respect for their own jobs and treat it as a job worth working hard for, but they also have a lot of respect for the people they work with. there's also another story where j2 were goofing off during the 11.04 smoothie scene in the impala, which is a scene that was shot when the impala was not moving, but rather the environment (controlled by the crew) moved around them outside of the car, and they capped their shenanigans at three takes maximum and while telling the story jared made a note about the fact that there were crew members who were doing these environmental movements for them. quite simply, they Care

also like, the part about singer that i'd talked about was in the context of jared's own goal as a producer was to make sure that the work environment on walker was a comfortable one in which, "[their] cast and crew are treated correctly and that some of the habits that can happen on a tv show that end up hurting people don’t materialize." [x] which i think says a lot about his (and jensen's) workplace values especially since jared's past experiences influenced so very much of his decisions re: walker. so like i said while it's very much plausible, but based on what i know i'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt

[sophieinwonderland]

Hey so idk if youll have an answer but ive been struggling a lot lately

So basically im frontstuck, i cant rlly interact w my headmates or headspace

And like, my headmates can front w me but afterwards + during its like a distant dream

Also my memory is horrible, like i cant remember half of my day.

Ive tried journaling, it didn't work, i forgot about it completely :/

So, yea.. Im just asking in case, yk, you might have advice or something

Hi there. Sorry that you're going through this right now. 💖

Regarding journaling, if your main problem is that you forget to journal, try setting alarms for certain times that you want to journal through the day.

Also, journal in whatever way is most convenient for you. I know that some people will insist on bringing a physical journal with them that they can write in with an actual pen, but if this is inconvenient then you don't need it. A lot of people's communication today is done by text, and if that's easiest, then journaling can be done the same way.

If talking is easier, then you can even use a voice to text app on your phone.

An alarm goes off on your phone, that lets you know that it's time to journal, then you can immediately open up a doc app that you have saved to your home screen.

You can try doing this daily, or if you can, maybe even twice a day. If you really want to exercise your memory to the max, add in a dream journal to that too. Do a dream journal in the morning, journal about your day at a scheduled halfway point, and then once more before bed.

This is obviously a lot of journaling to do but I think that it's best for building habits.

And I think that dream journaling might especially be helpful for overcoming dissociative barriers because dreams are sort of dissociative. That's why it feels so much like a dream when you try to recall what someone else did in front.

So in theory, remembering dreams should help train you to remember what happens in dissociative states as well.

You can also try out an app like habitica to help you build these habits.

Regarding access to the inner world, it's a little hard to know what to say without knowing what you want out of the inner world.

I believe the inner world comes in roughly two varieties. What I consider a deep and surface inner world. A deep inner world is where you would go whenever you aren't fronting. This is where headmates can live out elaborate and complex lives. This also may or may not actually happen, and could possibly just be confabulated memories that are created later by the brain to fill in the blanks.

We don't really experience a deep inner world, aside from maybe a vague sense of having been in the inner world all along whenever one of us fronts or becomes co-conscious for the first time in the while.

But we do experience the surface inner worlds. These are accessed voluntarily through the imagination.

Meditation isn't necessary for this. We've been able to enter surface inner worlds with our eyes wide open before. But meditation is probably best, especially using something to cut out external sound.

Try setting a timer for at least 10 minutes, imagining yourself in whatever place you want to be in, and imagining your headmate that you want to talk to there with you. Then just imagine talking to their form. It's possible that you might not get a response back, but you should stick with it anyways.

I would also advise not waiting until you are too tired before starting to meditate, as it wouldn't be helpful to fall asleep since the goal is to go into the inner world and talk to your headmates.

Hopefully this can be of some help. Best of luck to you!

[kindaorangey]

some hilson thoughts under the cut

ive seen a lot of ppl saying hilson is queercoding not queerbaiting and since ive jumped around a bit in my house md watchthrough (i'm on s4, but i've watched all of s8) i sort of wanted to call bullshit on both arguments - i don't think it's queerbaiting but i also didn't think the writers ever treated wilson seriously as an option for house. but having watched more of s4 now... i have doubts.

firstly, the universal donor/universal recipient thing. house knowing wilson's blood type causes wilson to ask a lot of questions that house clearly doesn't answer honestly, and then he leaves to go treat a patient before anything more can be said. i looked on reddit - apparently this is never resolved. house knows wilson's blood type, reveals this fact to insult him, and then acts sheepish and deflects when asked why he knows.

and i didn't really think anything of it. but then wilson starts dating amber, and in the episode immediately after this reveal it's made explicitly clear that amber and house have a lot in common and that that's why wilson is interested in her. he says it himself. and house, having previously suggested that this is the reason wilson likes amber, moves the goal posts as soon as wilson agrees. and wilson points this out, points out that house keeps changing the reasons for why he doesn't want wilson dating amber, and house... doesn't have a good answer for why he's doing it. again.

oh, and that same episode has a shoehorned-in b-plot about thirteen being bisexual, and this subplot ends with house winking at her because he knows.

weirdly, i don't think i'm seeing the beginnings of more overt queerbaiting here. i think i'm seeing the earnest attempts by the writers at setting up a relationship between house and wilson, which would later be truncated by studio execs, or something. i think about the s8 finale, where house thinks of all the miseries of life during his near-death experience, and then is presented with the idea that love - romantic love - is something he should choose to live for. and he fakes his death so he can be with wilson until he dies.

i don't know. my definition of queercoding is more of a plausibly deniable "historians will say they were just friends" situation, where anyone with eyes can tell the characters are in a relationship. i don't think house and wilson are meant to be in a relationship, so i wouldn't call it queercoding, but.... there's definitely more sincerity and commitment to the idea of them having a relationship than i initially thought from the writers.

[beanghostprincess]

random headcanon bc i have thoughts sometimes:

koala never met any of the strawhats herself, has she? exception of robin ofc. so everything she heard about them was from robin. (well, koala did meet usopp too but he was severely injured and barely conscious) anyway i'd like to think that when robin brings up nami, she'd believe her and koala would get along well. especially when they have to deal with the troubling brothers...

how koala has to deal with sabo nearly setting the ship aflame bc he cant control it when he feels intense emotions (or other reasons). and you know what stress nami has to deal with and it's not just her captain :']

plus with the way sabo and robin talks about luffy, koala is definitely curious to see for herself what he is like with friends and such. and also it'd give sabo an excuse to see luffy again and eventually meet the rest of the crew... and i just know luffy and robin would be very enthusiastic to properly introduce the revolutionaries to their crew

(i might be missing some info/wrong abt things bc it has been awhile since ive read dressrosa and only watched film gold but yeah 🙏🙏 this is excluding one piece academy)

If you're sending me this to make me talk about Koala/Nami, you're 100% achieving your secret goal. Because I think Sabo would be dying to see Luffy again and would want to pay a visit to the crew right away, while Koala is extremely curious too (and also has to go to remind Sabo he can't stay there for too long because he has other responsibilities and dude is capable of staying there forever if Luffy asked him to). So I think Koala would be polite to everyone at first and they'd all love her because, you know, look at her. She's the sweetest thing! But then they'd get extremely scared of her because she keeps yelling at Sabo whenever he's acting stupid (which is a lot of the time when he's around Luffy because his brother makes him turn into a 5 y/o. Or when he's busy flirting with a certain blonde and almost sets everyone on fire and she has to do some damage control) and they all have this realization of "she reminds me of somebody" and they all look at Nami at the same time.

And because Nami literally is unable to control herself when a pretty girl is around, she wouldn't stop flirting with Koala. I don't think Koala would get it at first? Like maybe Nami is just being overly nice and that's all. But then she realizes the redhead is flirting with her, and she turns into the softest thing on earth while she speaks to Nami. They're just adorable. While Nami shows her around the ship and talks to her about their adventures and how the dynamics around the crew work, Koala pays attention to her words but won't stop blushing and noticing her heart is going crazy. And every time Koala does something cute (like pouting and complaining about Sabo with the most adorable of faces) Nami's brain stops working because "prettygirlprettygirlprettygirlprettygirl" and then it's Koala's turn to have the upper hand and flirt with her and tease her. Silly girls.

I just know they'd have a whole party (of course) and Sabo would look at them from a distance like "??? You never are that nice to me, Koala!" / "Well, if you didn't act like a ten year old I have to babysit maybe I'd be nicer to you". But it's actually all jokes because they're always really soft to each other lmao. In fact, I think Sabo would tease Koala about Nami but Koala would tease him about Sanji (when they have a moment alone) and they'd actually be extremely happy and saying that they're glad they can have the opportunity of having silly crushes. Sabo says he's happy to see her smile because she's been overworking herself lately, and she says it's really nice to see him opening up to others that isn't just her because he deserves it.

I also think Nami and Koala would get along really well, not only because of their roles regarding the ASL siblings, but because of their past lives. Koala was a slave and never really knew about freedom until she was rescued and she joined the revolutionary army. And Nami's story is pretty much the same when it comes to freedom too. They both have different experiences with the fishmen, too. Like- There's so much to unpack here, but the point is I think they'd love each other instantly. Besides, they'd speak about serious topics and Nami would realize why Koala is so important to the revs. She's starting to admire her so so much too.

Not to mention Koala would love the crew and would definitely understand right away why Sabo wanted to see them so bad. She finds Sanji (although a bit annoying) endearing and he's such a gentleman to her. Chopper is extremely adorable and he asks her politely if her scars still hurt and if he can do anything about it to help her. She knows Franky from Robin because she definitely talked a lot about him when they were together (my Frobin heart, I'm sorry). Zoro is fun when he opens up and it's amusing to see him interact with the others, besides, seeing him trying to drink as much as Nami is hilarious. Brook asks her to choose songs too! And I just can't wait to see her with Jinbe in canon because it's going to be so damn sweet. Sobbing crying shaking.

[thefirstknife]

speaking of the unveiling, and bc im interested in hearing more of your thoughts on it, ive always been of the opinion that even as a parable or a metaphor or allegory or whatever you want to name it, because of the nature of the setting and how destiny largely tends to approach its own metaphysical "rules" in conjunction with its various narrators, that just because something is a metaphor doesn't necessarily mean it isn't also literal? if that makes sense. maybe it's leftover from when i was more of an elder scrolls girlie, but in my mind the two are not as mutually exclusive as one would think when it comes to fantasy/scifi especially in settings like destiny. there could very well be a "garden" and a "game" but exactly what and where (i believe these maybe more metaphysical concepts than physical and im open to being completely wrong) could be something completely inaccessible to human understanding if it even exists at all. that being said, im with you in wondering why everyone is getting angry over what i thought was kind of obvious.

Yeah, absolutely! I really love how Brookes phrased it:

“Unveiling is a parable. It is effectively a religious text. And how much of that is propaganda, how much of that is myth, how much of that is fact is deeply unclear in the nature of the text.”

Note how he never said it isn't real or literal. He said that we just can't know how much of it is myth and how much of it is fact due to the nature of the text. Most notably, due to who is telling it; the author being a biased party that is selling us a pitch to sway us to its side is super important.

If Unveiling is the result of the Witness peering behind the Veil and, well, witnessing the origins of the universe and therefore coming to a conclusion that everything is meaningless and that there is no greater purpose or a specific goal, the way the Witness would then try to present these origins of the universe would be painted by its conclusions. It has to make sense, the Gardener has to be meaningless and it has to prefer purposeless complexity over anything else and therefore the way the universe was constructed has to reflect that. So the Gardener and Winnower have to fight in a garden where everything was fine until the Gardener decided to make a change and that's why the universe exists as it does. And of course, don't forget that a part of the pitch is also to make us believe that the Gardener is not the right way to follow.

So an interpretation of these incomprehensible events would always to an extent fit the narrator. That means that we're basically dealing with a single interpretation of events that transpired which are impossible to factually see and measure. Someone else who looks at the Veil and uses it to see everything about the history of the universe will probably come to a different conclusion and will tell a different story based on the same events.

All terminology in the text is also very deliberately structured for human readers. There are references to big and small things that are specifically about only humans so this text would not work on any other species; it would have to be altered. This is immediately suspect because it shows that this was written for us and isn't just something that sprung out of nowhere fully formed with facts.

Among the references; the flower game which is literally just Conway's Game of Life (you can play it here btw) and it's a conscious reference since it mentions specific terminology from the game; the whole thing about the protein p53 which specifically calls it by our human terminology; the Cambrian Explosion which references geological eras and evolution of our planet; and super interesting reference to a specific individual, philosopher Jakob Böhme which is mentioned in two different pages. Someone did a deep dive into his philosophy in regards to the Veil because the Unveiling explicitly says that "he was right and it matters more than anything." Here's a really neat post about this on reddit if you want to dive into complex philosophical stuff.

These are hints that the author of the text is trying to put things into words that would make sense to us, humans, and that would additionally sway us to believe that the author is correct. So if you're trying to explain the origins of the universe to a human that you also want to sway to your position, you would naturally have to create a mythology that a human would be able to digest and believe.

I do believe that there's facts in Unveiling, as I've noted some like for example the Vex in my post about it. How do we explain existence before existence to a human and make them believe us? Use familiar terminology (garden, gardener, winnower, vex), construct a myth that neatly answers all questions, sprinkle references and facts about the real human history to show that the author is familiar with what they're talking about and then write in a way that's approachable.

So yeah. Something must've been there before the Big Bang. Our human brain really struggles to conceptualise this and humanity has been trying to figure it out since the dawn of time; through religion, philosophy, mysticism, science and all combinations of those. It might be literally impossible to figure it out and explain something like "initial singularity," especially in a way to make some humans decide that your story is interesting and worth following you for.

It's much simpler to boil it down to a "garden" with some relatable characters who are playing a game and get into a fight. It's easier to explain that the Vex may have preceded the existence of the universe by just saying that they escaped a garden where two cosmic beings fought over a game. This "place" (if we can call it that) might still exist, but by the virtue of being outside of our comprehension, it's easier to describe it as a garden with characters and a tree and some strange lifeforms. It's certainly more captivating than reading about real theoretical physics like for example this (as incredibly fascinating as it is, a lot of it will absolutely fly above people's heads, including mine).

The point is, the story could absolutely still be based on facts, as Brookes said, we just don't know what those facts are. The text itself is not telling ONLY facts because that's not its purpose, not to mention that it's easier to explain and entertain people by giving a cool myth with fundamental forces of physics and existence being shown through personifications who talk and argue and fight. People taking those personifications literally has always been weird to me because the text itself tells us they're allegorical. It's admitting that it's trying to explain things that are difficult to explain and is using a way for us to conceptualise this (showing itself as a benevolent entity that is eager to give us information), while also using this conceptualisation to weave its own propaganda in it at the same time.

Some of this will clear up soon. I'm very eager to find out if we'll ever get more of the Traveler's perspective on any of this. I would love to hear the Traveler say something at some point again. That would probably help us do our best to figure out more about what's fact and what's myth, but even that would be biased, in a way, even if the Traveler is the Gardener; the Gardener would still be telling us its own view of things. But another perspective would definitely help. Either way, it's a fascinating piece of text and an interesting dive into some really intriguing scifi concepts. I'm definitely not expecting some substantial 100% provable fact on how the universe began, as that question exceeds what a video game story can tell us, but will there be something that fits the setting? Some sort of an answer, as close to the truth as possible? Maybe!

To close this off, I always liked the story about the origin of the universe of the species called the Tiiarn, as told to Caiatl by her childhood mythkeeper, the psion Ahztja:

"Imagine the universe as swirling chaos," Ahztja said softly. Caiatl closed her eyes and saw it. "Among the chaos stands Irkyn La, the First Host, who blinks herself into existence with the First Thought: chaos must come to order." Caiatl saw a creature, tremendous beyond belief, in her mind's eye. "And so to satisfy the First Thought, which would become the First Law, Irkyn La consumes the chaos of the void and gives birth to the ordered universe." Caiatl opened her eyes, and they were bright with intrigue. "That is how the Tiiarn would say the universe began," Ahztja said. Caiatl looked at the toy in her hands, and then back at Ahztja. "Where does this giant woman live?" "The Tiiarn would say she is the very fabric of the universe. When you look to the sky, when you look out into space, you are looking into Irkyn La's mouth."

Who knows, maybe there's some truth to this myth as well.

[brb-on-a-quest]

Day Fourteen Day Fifteen Day Sixteen

im SOOOOO SORRY that I left you guys hanging those two days! *cries* the first one I genuinely forget, and the second I was too busy to do it- and I think that this is not the first time this might happen, since the farm (oh yeah, if you're not one of my regular followers, you should know I'm a farmhand lol) is picking up steam, during my down time Im trying to do more physical rest for my body to recover. which means unfortuantely, Ive been spending less time on here in general, and that my longer posts that take more time to write have had to pause for a while.

so, I'm sorry to say but this is the last day i'll be able to do this for a while, but maybe forever. I've had so much fun with it and loved to see everybody's different answers, and how we've all connected!! but for at least a few days/weeks, I need a bit of a break lol. if anyone wants to pick up this game again, with the same list of people I've given already or different ones, you are more than welcome to! and I'm not leaving Tumblr, I'm just not going to do this particular ask game anymore.

our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

thank all of you so much! I hope to return again maybe sometime! I wish you all the best :)

Awww no worries gracie! take care of yourself first. Def appreciate all the work it must've taken to come up with good questions. I'll be sure to haunt your inbox soon with hopefully some equally thought-provoking (or not) questions.

ok, actual question: our final question: what is something that you you want in your life, and what can you do to achieve it? what steps do you need to take to earn the life you see yourself living?

To be honest, this question has haunted me for the past...well since before high school. (has it really been almost 10 years since I was a baby highschool freshman?). To be also perfectly honest, my depression and anxiety were so bad I was never convinced I would make it as far as I did... which allowed me to put off answering the question for a long while until the Hour of College Applications approached.

Well, against all previous conceptions of my future, I am still alive and about to graduate in December (literally how) and set to walk across the beautiful stage in May to get my undergrad diploma with some kind of academic honors (I forget the Latin for it). Definitely not the highest GPA, but I am relatively proud of myself considering the effort and, for lack of a better phrase, blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into this. So, steps that need to happen in order to graduate

Pass classes (Preferably with A's but I'm also in a position where hopefully my self-esteem won't die with a B or 2).

Write and Finish my thesis (shaking crying throwing up I don't have enough capacity for this even if it's only 15 pages in Spanish)

Study and hopefully pass a GRE (graduate school readiness exam I think? 'cuz I'm told it's a good idea for master's school applications I can not stress enough how much I hate standardized tests and am so anxious about this that I haven't even opened my books yet, I've just been throwing myself into thesis research instead; I 'know not all schools require this but I'm going into something that's not my major, so I feel some kind of need to prove myself).

Apply to graduate schools for counseling!

Only four things... it shouldn't be so bad.... one would think... (can I please just skip to the part where this is over why do people call college the best years of my life).

The other thing I want to work on is just being a better person and in particular a better friend. My goal is therapy, particularly pediatric therapy because it's such a neglected area where I'm from and also in general I think because there tends to be stereotypes of "oh children can't have mental health problems." but doing that means I want to develop more compassion, friendliness, and patience and gentleness and actual listening skills while being assertive...yk an environment that nurtures personal and other's growth. Which is really hard. Progress has been made but still more to go.

[consoledacup]

Hiiiiii! It’s been so long since Ive seen you talk about jordayla. What’s your take on this whole jordan career thing? Do you think he’s sold on coaching as an end goal or are there still lingering stuff about the nfl? Where do you think jordayla will possibly live? Do you think it’s poc that they’ve been overthinking a bit since 612 or is that a marriage hurdle they have to work through?

Hiiiiiii back <3

Jordan's career thing is weird and a bit out of left field. But I'm very glad they gave us his injury for context. And it's pretty clear they're setting him up for season 7, so I can't be too mad about it. Also, it's something he really wants to do, so go, Jordan! No clue if this is final stop or if there's more NFL in store. My guess is he'll be coaching, so they keep him involved in Crenshaw stories.

I kinda think Jordayla will live in the Baker house? They got a set ready to go. And it'll be a nice bookend to "other place didn't feel like home." They could also potentially be in Crenshaw bc both of their careers are there. But AA has never cared about location/traffic before.

The only OOC thing I have a big gripe about is them not discussing where they would live when they were getting married the next day or whatever. That was very dumb, and I stand by that critique. But it's fine that they didn't have the kids talk because he had thrown it out there before at the cabin, and we knew she wanted kids. So like, if it were an issue for either one, they would've talked about it at length.

I think they both tend to be overthinkers, but what I love is how in tune they are with each other. And I love how much they check in with each other. They make heavier discussions seem so seamless because they care about each other so much and are still very much in love. So I don't see any of this as a marriage hurdle. Marriage is hard work, and they seem to be reveling in it and killing it in communication. <3

[onetwothree-moved]

wait since people are sharing their grownup anipoke cast hcs im gonna share mine too :]

there's a lot of thinking behind every single one of them so please send asks if you're curious about one of them (or more) okay!!!! i love talking about my hcs LMAO

ash: ive got an entire story arc written for that boy. BUT im not gonna explain it here cause it's too long but basically he would become a pokemon teacher (NOT A PROFESSOR, im thinking more like what kukui does in the anime? which is teaching children about pokemon stuff in a school setting)

misty: i like to think she'd become quite the sporty type and maybe become a professional swimmer and participate in competitions and stuff

brock: pkmn doctor!!!! he has a lot of experience and maybe he'd train other younger doctors-to-be :]

tracey: i think art is more of a hobby to him, but @juliamex3 's idea of him taking commissions and becoming gary's assistant is genius so im stealing it HEHE

gary: pkmn professor and rival to goh, they don't specialize in the exact same fields but sometimes they work together. gary still loves to tease goh (they respect eachother but the teasing is eternal)

may: ill be completely honest and say may is the one ive given the least thought to. I'M SORRY BESTIE... id say she's still a coordinator and likes to bring smiles to people with her performances

dawn: im not 100% sure but im thinking something like a professional dancer but like not competitive, maybe she'd make a duo with zoey and they'd both do performances together

iris: she's still unovas champion ! she also beat cynthia's ass and now her goal is to beat ash's ass (in a battle.)

cilan: S class connoisseur, but there's still things to learn! which is why he rarely stays at the striaton cafe.

clemont: definitely not a gym leader anymore. he decided to let his sister take his place. hes an engineer and he's well known around the world for all of his inventions

serena: i don't think she'd keep doing performances all her life. after she becomes kalos queen, she'd start focusing on fashion designing. also i like to think that shauna would model for her :3

mallow : as the owner of ainas kitchen she opened a new restaurant in konikoni city where she lives with lillie!!

lillie: she writes children's literature!!!

lana: okay so i like to think that lana would specialize in water pokemon preservation. she would dive in specific areas to check the pokemons conditions and stuff

sophocles: he said he wanted to be an astronaut, i believe in him!! YOU CAN DO IT SOPHOCLES

kiawe: hes going to become kahuna after olivia but it's not going to be easy. hes going to travel across the world to learn more about pokemon and people first, and only then will he be recognized as kahuna

gladion: he researches pokemon at the aether foundation and someday will take his mother's role as president. he and goh have worked together before and they get along well

goh: pokemon professor, as i said he and gary are still rivals. goh specializes in legendary/mythical pokemon!!

chloe: i like to think that she would do something "normal" LMAO, maybe journalist, i can see her writing articles in newspaper, or photographer. it's hard to find something good for her because the anime didn't give us any clue ghdbfhd. i have more hcs for koharu but not related to her future job

[lemmilemura]

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS REQUEST PLZ, ok so the reader a huge crush on simon right? but theyre not friends at all, like they’ve never met eachother other than having a few classes together and stuff (he hasn’t even posted about them on AT). BUT (since the reader is like so obsessed or whatever) the reader like, hacks into about that somehow, and they and simon meet and talk to eachother IN THE CODE OF THE APP. I THINK IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

im ngl ive had this idea for so long, theres a lot of plot holes in the req so you can do whatever to it, but plz keep the talking in the code of the app thing in it because i think it’s adorable 😭

Oh my fucking god that is genious!!! I absolutely love that idea! Thank you, omg, I'm full of energy again to write this, I never even thought of this!!! I missed you, pine-ferret, I really have.

All kept gender-neutral Based on the show

3am. Pitch black. The only light was coming from my computer screen. It was giving off a green glow into the room. It came from the fake hacking website I had open on my second monitor. Actual hacking doesn't do all that fancy stuff. Atleast not the hacking I was currently doing. My only companion, my only energy came in the form of Lipton Ice Tea. My motivation was what was behind that wall of code. It was grueling. It was terrible. It took hours. But I persevered. I powered through. I used all of my skills trying to get in. Trying to achieve my goal.

What was that goal you ask? A simple one. One that, if you think about it, could have been solved much faster and easier, if I had more confidence and didn't have a panic attack every time I thjought of it.

My goal was to talk to Simon Kelleher.

I know, you don't have to point it out. Look, my severe social anxiety and also him not having a single idea who I was kinda kept me from talking to him. How do I know he doesn't know I exist? I have never been mention in AT. Not even once. And he's mentioned EVERYONE. Except for his friends, of course.

Hacking into AT was much harder than anywhere I'd hacked into before. "He set this up good... But nothing I didn't expect from him..." I mean of course he'd protect it well, if anyone got in there, it could spell disaster. Luckily, I wasn't planning on using it for anything nefarious. Only on the conquest of admiration.

I got really close to cracking it, I could feel it. Only a few more lines and I'd be in. "Seems like it's 1-0 for me, Kelleher. In, ya know, hacking and keeping your website un-hackable. In most other areas you definitely have way more points than me." I said to myself as I felt success get closer and closer.

But as always when I thought something would go my way, it did a U-turn.

Anarchi$k: Nice try.

"What the fuck. Wait, okay, okay, this is my big chance. This must be Simon. Stay calm, you got this."

(Username): Oh you haven't won yet.

Anarchi$k: Suuuuure. Now gtfo

(Username): Rude much.

I was then 'kicked out' of the code. But all he did was just send me a few steps back. Luckily, I had a habit of writing down every step that worked. So it only took a few seconds for me to geth where I was.

(Username): Hello again.

Anarchi$k: How tf

Anarchi$k: How did you do that?

(Username): A magician never reveals their tricks.

(Username): Now lemme get past, I'm almost in.

Anarchi$k: Not if I can stop you.

(Username): You just failed.

"Aaaaand kicked again. Alright, gotta work a lil faster then." This time, I managed to get further, only one password stood between me and having access to all of AT. That and Anarchi$k, aka Simon, of course.

Anarchi$k: Could you not?

Anarchi$k: Kicking you out is getting tedious.

(Username): Then stop kicking me?

(Username): Think on the bright side, now you know what you need to reinforce!

Anarchi$k: Good luck getting further.

Anarchi$k: You'll need it

(Username): Awwwww, thanks.

I wasn't kicked, but I could imagine why. There was no hint whatsoever to what the password could be. I'd probably not have multiple tries, either. "You can do this. and if not, hey, he knows you exist! Kinda. Not really..." I shook my head and then got to thinking. I knew almost nothing about him, so there was no way I'd ever get it.

(Username): Can I get a hint?

Anarki$k: Wtf no

(Username): Cmoooooon

(Username): I doubt anyone before has gotten this far

(Username): I deserve this

Anarchi$k: I don't even know who you are.

(Username): I know you

Anarchi$k: Everyone knows me

Anarchi$k: Because of what you're trying to get into.

(Username): Even if I told you my name

(Username): You wouldn't know who I am

Anarchi$k: Try me

(Username): Password first, Kelleher

(Username): :)

For a while nothing came. "Of course he wouldn't just give me it."

Anarchi$k: If you're still at it in like

Anarchi$k: A day

Anarchi$k: And haven't given up

Anarchi$k: I'll think about it

(Username): Yeeeah I don't believe you

(Username): I'll get this password

(Username): One way or another

(Username): But thanks for the offer

I ended up falling asleep after about half an hour of thinking. It was 4am, okay? School kicked my ass the next morning. I couldn't focus because I kept thinking about that stupid password. I only had 2 classes with Simon but he never said much in any of them, plus he sat behind me in both, so I couldn't even look at his desk or anything.

At lunch, I only nibbled at my food, while scribbling various ideas and getting frustrated. "If only I knew him better. Maybe this would be easier." My apple was only half gone, and there were only 30 minutes of lunch left. "You look like you could use some help." I looked at the voice suddenly next to me. "You're, Maeve, right? Maeve Rojas?" She sits next to me, with her tray of food. "Yep. It's okay if I sit here, right?" "You're not sitting with your sister?" "We have different lunches."

That was a first for many reasons. I never had anyone wanting to sit next to me. I'd never talked to Maeve before. I'd seen her a handful of times with Simon and Janae. "What are you struggling with?" She asked as she leaned over. "Just some code. A... friend of mine forgot their passcode and has no idea what it was." "Well, any ideas?" The two of us spent the rest of lunch trying to figure out what the passcode was, and she never found out it was to AT.

I got back to it as soon as I got home. I was determined to figure it out without Simon's hint. I workshopped a little more on what me and Maeve worked on.

Anarchi$k: Wait you're actually here again?

(Username): Did ya miss me?

Anarchi$k: Ya wish

(Username): I wish to get into AT

Anarchi$k: Do I look like a Genie to you?

(Username): A Genie-ous

Anarchi$k: Oh my fucking god

(Username): Does flattery get me a free entry pass?

Anarchi$k: It gets you nowhere

(Username): Oh cmoooooonnnn

(Username): Just let me in!

Anarchi$k: I told you

Anarchi$k: 24 hours

Anarchi$k: You've got 12 left

(Username): Ugh

(Username): Party pooper

"C'mon brain, think of things. C'mon brain, be so smart." I repeated to myself an amount of times I do not know. I brainstormed all the way through dinner, and way into the night.

"I only have one hour left. Either I could just give up and wait for the hint. Or I could crack this and be amazing and impress him..." the latter was the one I really wanted, but I knew it was very very unrealistic.

Anarchi$k: 30 minutes buddy

Anarchi$k: Or do you already give up?

(Username): I never give up

(Username): i never let down

(Username): I never run around or desert

Anarchi$k: okay for that you only get 15 minutes left

(Username): WTF why?

Anarchi$k: you fucking rickrolled me wtf did you think was gonna happen?

(Username): you'd find the joke so hilarious and give me the code and then we fall helplessly in love and live out our days only communicating in code?

Anarchi$k: wow

Anarchi$k: yeah that's not gonna happen

(Username): worth a try

Anarchi$k: why do you want to get in so badly anyway?

Anarchi$k: I mean I know why but goddamn just give up already

(Username): wow you must be braindead

(Username): I just told you, dumbass

Omg I actually just said that. Maybe it was the fact that he had no idea it was me that was giving me that confidence. God knows I would never be able to get a single word out if we were actually face to face.

Anarchi$k: you must be so desperate and deprived of attention if you come to me of all people

(Username): you do realize that backfired, right?

Anarchi$k: I am very well aware

(Username): you should like

(Username: idk

(Username): be happy that there's someone who like you

(Username): and stuff

Anarchi$k: oh I'm very flattered

Anarchi$k: but still

Anarchi$k: like wtf

Anarchi$k: also back to the I don't fucking know you part

(Username): If I told you who I am

(Username): 1 it would ruin this great little 'game'

(Username): and 2 you'd still not know who I am cuz you don't know me

Anarchi$k: oh how fun

Anarchi$k: I get to experience having a stalker

(Username): it's not like that dumbass

(Username): ok what I can say is I also go to Bayview

Anarchi$k: narrows it only a small bit

Anarchi$k: and if you think that stops the stalker thing it doesn't

(Username): welp, I tried

Anarchi$k: and I succeeded

Anarchi$k: time's up, buddy

Anarchi$k: any final words before I send you back out?

Anarchi$k: I've changed pretty much eveything btw

I felt like at this point I only had two options.

1. Take the loss and lose all my progress, and this is where it all ends

2. Tell him who I am and it ends too

And I kid you not I blacked out while typing what I typed because I do not remember a single thing.

(Username): my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). We have a couple classes together. You sit behind me in them.

I only came back to consciousness after it was sent. I then cursed myself and curled up in a ball on my chair. Goodybe and chance to ever succeed. Goodbye future I'd dreamed of. Goodbye happiness.

I'd started crying a little too. Then I heard a sound. I looked up.

"What the fuck" I was greeted by the Admin panel of AT. Full access to everything.

Anarchi$k: not a lot of people would be willing to admit that

Anarchi$k: you got balls, (Username)

Anarchi$k: also I knew it was you the entire time lol

WHAT.

(Username): what

Anarchi$k: yeah I see you sometimes

Anarchi$k: you gotta work on the staring

Anarchi$k: also Maeve told me she helped you with a passcode during lunch

Anarchi$k: so yeah

(Username):...

(Username): I

I was speechless. Somehow, this was worse. Much worse.

Anarchi$k: I gave you access because I could use the help

Anarchi$k: of someone who knows their way around code

Anarchi$k: no offense to Janae and Maeve but they're not smart enough for this stuff

(Username): I

(Username): okay

(Username): I guess

(Username): this is going to be so awkward

(Username): just warning ya

Anarchi$k: oh I'm sure we'll be just peachy

Anarchi$k: also feel free to stuck around us at school

Anarchi$k: if your poor little heart can handle that

Anarchi$k: ;)

(Username): or my reputation rather

Anarchi$k: you're invisble

Anarchi$k: there's no reputation to break

Okay I know that ending was kinda meh but I do not know how to go on I hope you still like it qwq

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Fic Author Questions

@curator-on-ao3 thank you for tagging me in this new set of fic author questions! I had a lot of fun answering. ❤️

1. Why do you write fanfic?

I guess I stuck with it and stayed inspired largely because ive found really wonderful communities in fanfiction, whether its coming together to share in one beautiful AU story or different iterations of canon or just experiencing the joy of writing together. and having those communities has sustained me through some very isolated years and have been overall a positive experience in my life. ive made really wonderful friends through fanfic.

But I can't deny that I got into fanfic because my brain just fixated on one story and i had the overwhelming urge to put it on paper and so a smaller motivation is that there continue to be stories like that that motivate me to keep writing fic.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I guess just by virtue of planning the sequel at the moment, I think about and reread Unbroken alot

I have also had the Universe to Mend in my mind since last year and keep coming back to the two versions of Janeway i explored in that and where I left the two of them. and thinking about the other characters too: Mortal Q and Captain Chakotay and Stadi/Tuvok and where they might wind up next.  I have a few ideas for what might come next so I suspect there's at least one sequel on the horizon somewhere.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Deadlines help you set goals and motivate yourself, but you don't owe them to your readers.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

So, and this has been a very good thing for my self esteem and general mental health, working with data all day has made me really ambivalent about my story stats. They're interesting and useful when I have a specific question I want to answer with them but the rest of the time I no longer pay much attention to them.

The stats that I do focus on are all things I measure - timeframe to chapter/story completion, average words per chapter, total word count. Those help me set realistic expectations for myself and help me work on my goals of having healthy writing habits and writing more concise stories.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

I miss writing Threshold AU!!!!

I want to again and will again, but having had like... negative amounts of writing time this summer and being fixated on a new long story, lots of others have taken a backseat. i really miss the cameraderie of writing threshold au stories and the freedom and joy I get from working with that really original fresh premise - it frees me to experiment and be a bit more imaginative. im sad i havent had time for it in a while.

6. What motivates you to write?

A story takes up residence in my head and its beautiful and tempting and I cannot rest until I have delved in and explored it. Thoroughly.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

communities and friendships do a lot to help keep me inspired, both while continuing old longstanding stories and developing new ideas. and ive found this with Sailor Moon and Star Trek. I doubt i would be as prolific in either fandom without those communities.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

I shove it in the back somewhere and work on other things until ive figured out what I dont like about it thats got me stuck. sometimes it works out that I just need a better idea of where the story is going. and then the story gets finished. and sometimes i find myself realizing the premise is a good one but the execution isnt.  and then if ive already started posting it, i put it in my "Under Review" collection (an unrevealed AO3 collection only I can see) and figure out if i can rework the story from the ground up or if it isnt going to get finished. I've got 3 in there right now.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

That it is actually a huge boost in inspiration to get a nice one. and that it's okay to leave short ones.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

My write in question: Do you create or want to try other types of fanworks?

Just for me i make playlists for characters to help inspire me for fics. sometimes i dabble in fanart. drawing is always really relaxing.

im also facinated by bookbinding. it looks like a really fun physical craft to build even if it looks complicated. i'd love to learn more about how it works.

A lot of my people i usually tag are tagged already so If you want to respond with your own please do!

[vampyrluver]

sorry if this is weird out of the blue you can ignore it if you like! but i was re reading some of ur about and saw ur thinking about going into museum studies. ive wanted to work at a museum for a long time but have never really had the drive to make it happen. i was wondering if you have any insight/advice on how one could start taking steps even small ones toward following that vision. i graduated a couple years ago with my bachelors in psychology and since then just kinda been like "why did i do that." idk if its a viable jumping off point or if id have to do more school before grad which has also been kinda holding me back from looking into stuff out of anxiety i guess. anyway i know you dont know everything and sorry this is long i just was interested since i havent seen many people talk about museum studies as an academic path! ty if you do reply no worries if not! have a nice day :)

omg hi no not weird at all!! :D I love talking especially about academic things!!

The good thing about museums, is honestly almost any degree is a good jumping off point to potentially work in a museum! And the good thing about graduate school is that most programs do not care that much what your undergrad degree was, as long as you are willing to learn and do the work to catch up on anything that your undergrad degree may have not given you, you can just apply to grad schools! you just have to figure out where and what type of program you want.

i will also say, depending on where you live, there IS another way to get ur foot into the door of museums and that is by volunteering, or interning. Im located near DC, and because of my proximity to Smithsonian Museums, i am lucky as i have a lot of opportunities to get myself into the museum. Here, the museums will let you volunteer, and if you volunteer long enough (i think a year or two?), you can potentially get a paid job (especially if you put yourself out there and really make yourself know, the good thing about this industry is honestly a lot of the time you just need to have the right connections, a lot of the successful folks i know who work in or around museums, got in because they just...got around and made their existence known by the people they want to work with)

Also, something to consider is what exactly do you want to do in museums? Are you more of a curator? a researcher? do you want to be on the public facing side of museums (greeting, giving tours, educating etc), the back end side of museums (IT, event planning, archiving etc). Knowing the answer to this will also help you find a program for you. There are general museum studies programs which i think are good and that is what i plan on doing, but my goal is to work on the back end in archives OR as a researcher or educator within museums, so i am also looking at library sciences or similar degrees that work with the skill set i want to cultivate. there are a lot of museum adjacent degrees that may not sound like they would work in a museum but they would.

knowing what you want will help narrow down what you should do, because also if you are interested in the more public facing side, the giving tours and interacting with patrons etc, you may not even need a degree! you just need passion and the ability to info dump! if you want to work on more technical things, or hold a higher position that's where the graduate school education will play a part.

If you want help narrowing it down, message me!! I can also help you find programs or certificates that can help you get to where you want!

ALSO, don't be afraid to cold email people, something that has helped me a lot is finding people in the industry and just, emailing them and asking them questions, 2 outcomes happen either 1) i get no response ever or 2) they answer my questions! its pretty epic. If you want help finding people who may be of interest to you and cold emailing them, i can help its my favorite thing to do.

basically TLDR: narrow down what you want to do in the museum and jump off from there, depending on your future goals, more education may not even be needed, cold email people, and message me if you want me to help u find specific programs or people to contact! or if you just want more information in general.

Please let me know if this helps at all! Sorry its long, i am a yapper.

[aromanticgarbage]

If Joji decides to retire this year, do you think your obsession with him will end? Or would you still follow all his old stuff and that will keep you going?

He retired from social media already, youtube as well and he won't be coming back to any of that, let's be honest. All is left is his music, and I personally feel like he's over it. Not only the tiring/ repetitive touring, but the set path of the music industry where you don't just create stuff for fun but it's expected of you every few years> tour > rinse and repeat.

Just trying to have a convo, we like to hear your opinions :)

First of all, I don't think that he is going to retire any time soon? The man has been making music nonstop (comedic or not) since he was a preteen AND at this point in his life its his main source of income. He has talked in several interviews in 2018 and then again in 2020 about having philanthropic goals, wanting to help in the medical field and stuff but not having the funds for it yet (x). Assuming that he still has those goals and he hasnt suddenly gotten bored of music (a thing he has loved since he was a kid) i just cant see him suddenly retiring. There's a chance that maybe he wont keep up with his "new album every two years" pattern but i personally wouldn't be mad about that. I know that people love to complain about him not dropping music often enough but from my perspective, two years isn't a long time to wait for a new album. I listen to Fiona Apple too and she drops new music once every eight years. I listen to bands who broke up decades ago and bands whose main vocalists committed suicide before i was even born. Waiting doesn't mean anything to me. Also im so late to the party, i have a literal decade of his old and more recent content to get through (music, comedy, all of it).

Second of all, my obsession with him will fade away eventually either way !!! Ive been obsessed with many things (media, shows, musicals, music artists etcetera etcetera) over the years, i know how this works. Last year i was listening to the 2006 cast recording of company the musical starring Raúl Esparza everyday Non Stop. At some point i moved on to other things. Doesn't mean that i don't still smile whenever a song from this musical makes its way onto my spotify queue, or whenever a new photo of Raúl gets posted online. Unless something bad happens that sours the experience for me (most notable example: harry p*tter) i always think fondly of my past hyperfixations. Plus I genuinely love Joji's music. Im not in it just for his cute face !!! I will probably always have a soft spot for these songs even if (emphasis on if) he drops off the face of the earth and never releases anything ever again.

When it comes to his retirement from social media (permanent or temporary) all i honestly have to say about it is this: GOOD for him. Instagram is hell. Twitter is a fucking cesspool that has given me a headache every single one of the five (5) times ive dared to try and use it. If you use twitter routinely, my trust on your character automatically lessens, sorry. And since i only ever unfollow artists on insta for uploading TOO often I don't really have an issue with his inactivity. I wasn't a fan of his when he was still active on his socials, I don't have the experience necessary to miss this. I'm enjoying his old posts and that's good enough for me.

When it comes to youtube, he is definitely never going back to filthy frank that one is a fact and people who act like he would even want to are delusional. Sorry. Nonetheless, Plummcorp is a thing that has been going on for a while now, and even tho personally i haven't really gotten into it, Joji's involvement in it is undeniable. We will probably never know how involved in it he actually is and he will most definitely never show his face on that channel. Still, he is back on youtube in a way and thats also a fact. Even if he's keeping things lowkey (as is his right).

And to go back to the music !!! The tours he is probably really tired of, that one i feel like it's true. A lot of artists probably are, travelling around for months on end can't be easy. I remember Mitski being particularly open about how shitty they made her feel. There was also this old interview where he explicitly said that he is not cut out for the tour life, ("i like to sleep and i like to be alone a lot" x ). That was very early in his career (2017). And taking the fact that he had to cancel some of his shows last year for medical reasons, its important to take into account the fact that his health problems don't make any of this easier for him. I have no way of knowing what his opinion is on the music industry but hes been working on music for years now (even before he really started his solo career) and it was his literal childhood dream to work in this industry. He probably knew how it works before he got into it fulltime.

Tldr: joji can do whatever he wants forever. Im okay either way.

Anyway those have been my two cents !!! Thank you for your questions, they were very interesting.

[moldwood]

would you mind sharing which courses youre getting? ive been wanting to get into modeling 3d environments for a while but never know where to start & theres sooo many options (a lot of which seem to overlap in a lot of ways) that i get real bad choice paralysis lmao. like i currently have five different courses on Basically The Same Thing in my cart bc i cant decide which one to get. just having some sort of "yeah i thought this one looked good" from someone else is such a huge help lmao.

(also do you by chance know if udemy does these kinds of sales often? ive never used it before so idk if this kind of opportunity will come up again or if i should just drop a bunch of money on these Right Now)

(also also if for some reason youd prefer i come off anon i can, im just shy lmao)

thank you!!

to answer your question out of order, i don't think they do sales like this often (but i can't say for sure). right now, many sites focused on this type of thing are celebrating blender's 10th birthday, so that is why i imagine the discount is so steep. on that note, blendermarket is giving away a free plugin a day (you can't claim previous drops, unfortunately), so keep an eye out for that this week too! (today's sucked tbh.) i would say yeah go ahead and get the courses you want now since i really doubt there will be an 80+% discount again. i think it expires today?? so for anyone else reading this who might be interested, it is worth looking through their courses now. there are more than just blender courses, so you can really take advantage of this sale.

this got long the rest can go under a cut. sorry for the wall of text 😭

ultimately, it depends on what your end goals are for the environments. are you learning to make them to block out 2d art backgrounds, for 3d stills, for animations, for games? photorealistic or stylized? will you be reusing the assets you make or going for unique scenes each time? there will be a few different branching paths when it comes to implementing what you've made at the end of the courses, so if you're wanting to just get one or two, go with the ones that most align with what you're trying to learn right now and with what you'd like to get out of it by the end. i prefer making textures and uv mapping to procedural textures, so my choices tended to focus more on those and compositing vs making them for usable environments.

now for the meat of the question, here are the environment + room focused ones i got. it's a lot, sorry, it was most of the purchase. i am not the best example mostly because i know i tend to fail with taking what i've learnt and applying it to my own work, so repetition helps with that :'] and because i am discovering i am really liking 3d art and wanting to delve into this aspect of it (maybe since it is so neglected in my 2d art LOL) - Blender Environment Artist: Create 3D Worlds - i've followed grant's tutorials before, so i trusted this one to get me comfortable with environments since i haven't many any yet. this is focused on modular building, though (but you can still apply the principles to a solid model) Blender 4: The Ultimate Environment Artist's Guide - whole buildings, bringing them together in a scene, props Stylized 3D Environments with Blender 4 Geometry Nodes - nodes... they elude me Blender 4 Modeling and Geometry Node Workshop - environment sculpting, nodes, **curved surfaces, which i struggle with Blender to Unreal Engine Become a Dungeon Prop Artist - props The Ultimate Environment Art Bundle - 4 Courses in 1 - interiors, exteriors, urban setting Create a Victorian Room with Blender and Substance Painter - this one was another one i had to get since there were not many that focused on interiors like this Blender to Unreal Engine 3D Plants and Vegetation - texture painting vegetation (as opposed to procedural generation for the textures) Learn to Make Stylized Environments in Blender & UE5 - modular buildings, bringing them together in a scene, props, lighting in UE5 as opposed to fighting cycles. also uses zbrush, which is free and which i am scared of. (i will probably swap that part of this tutorial out for sculpting in blender as best i can.) this is one i wanted to get but ultimately did not. but i will probably change my mind by lunch tomorrow lol: Creating 3D environments in Blender - realistic environments, water physics, photoscan models??

there is a lot of overlap, especially with how they mostly start from the very beginning assuming you haven't opened blender before, but they each do something different, either with particle systems or geometry nodes or focusing on interiors vs exteriors vs environments. i don't have substance painter (yet 🦴🏴‍☠️🦜), and i probably won't be putting the things i make in unreal engine with the intention of having them be walkable, but the modeling and rendering parts of the courses are very applicable still to what i want to learn. and who knows! maybe i fall in love with making areas you can move in.

there was one other course that i bought a bit ago on sale that is not on udemy or on sale anymore, but that i recommend checking out since it opens up a lot of possibilities, especially if you're wanting to avoid substance painter/adobe (though quixel mixer is an alright +free! alternative i have heard): Revitalize paintings in 3d with Blender. omar's work is easily the biggest reason i got into 3d modeling in the first place. flippednormals does have sales from time to time, so you can wait until one happens and buy it then if it interests you. check out omar's youtube (craftreaper iirc?) his pinned comment on the course video will have a discount when there is one

so yeah TLDR; if you have a bit of an idea of what you want to make in the future already and how you prefer to do it, focus on courses that teach those. if they cover the same thing, that's fine, practice helps with making sure you remember the techniques, especially since in classes sometimes you're just following along and not absorbing. at least i am guilty of that. you know your learning style and what you're wanting to achieve with 3d modeling best! if they're covering the exact same techniques, maybe try one or two that use a different method just to have that tool in your pocket. keep in mind how much time you are willing/able to take out of the day to sit down and follow the courses and how easily you are able to take what you learn and apply it to your own work. if you can do that sooner, you'll need less courses since you can just look up specific problems and questions as you encounter them.

TLDR TLDR; imo, i would say just buy all 5. maybe look to swap some out if they're all about the exact same thing. they're on sale for so cheap compared to the normal prices. worse comes to worst, you don't end up using it and you have put money in an artist's pocket. my friend is yelling at me for still being up goodnight