#But I hope y'all had an great morning/day/night

[k-nayee]

CHAPTER 18. A MORTAL'S LAMENT

A/n: eek! last installment for Act Two! y'all know the roll -  won't upload again for a lil bit to finish up on the next Act. love love LOVE the comments and views i've been getting, great to see my fellow EPIC fans out here. pls don't be shy to share your thoughts and see ya soon!🥰

❝And perhaps it is the greater grief after all—to be left on earth when another is gone❞

Warrior M.List | Act Two

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˚＊˚✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ・・✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ⚔️・⚔️・⚔️・⚔️・✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ・・✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ˚＊˚

The days stretched on like an eternity, each dawn bringing fresh reports of Trojan advancements.

Two weeks had passed since Chryseis had been returned to her father. Two weeks since Briseis had been dragged to Agamemnon’s side.

In that time, the camp had become a pot of tension and whispered discontent.

Penelope and Diomedes had been unyielding in their punishment. One month without stepping onto the battlefield. No skirmishes, no glory, no purpose.

You understood their reasoning—to some extent—but that didn’t make the restriction any less grating.

Despite your confinement, Briseis managed to find her way to you during the late nights or early mornings. Her visits were a small solace in an otherwise maddening existence.

Though she bore the weight of her circumstances with grace, her spirit remained unbroken.

True to his word Agamemnon hadn’t laid a hand on her. But his barbs—cutting, vile insults—were frequent.

Briseis’ defiance was a quiet triumph; she only needed to mention your name and Agamemnon’s sneering would falter, his words dissolving into tense silence.

You’d always smirk when she recounted those moments.

The camp was not so fortunate. Achilles had withdrawn entirely, his fury at Agamemnon’s actions burning too brightly to be quenched by reason.

For two weeks the Prince of Myrmidons had refused to fight, and the ripple effects of his absence had grown catastrophic.

Captains and commanders were in near-constant uproar. Without Achilles’s presence Hector’s strength seemed unstoppable, his brilliance on the battlefield becoming a legend in real-time.

Whispers of doom hung heavy in the air. Hector’s forces, bolstered by divine favor, had pushed the Greeks back toward their ships and close to burning them.

The Trojan raids had nearly decimated the fleet—Ajax, Diomedes, and Penelope barely managing to stave off complete disaster even together.

It seemed the Gods themselves seemed to mock the Greeks, their loyalties clear in the endless string of setbacks. Morale plummeted further with every fresh loss.

It was Patroclus who approached you that morning, his face shadowed with worry and exhaustion. You had been leaning against the edge of your tent, absently watching the camp stir to life when he arrived.

“You’ve heard?” he asked, his tone weighed down by the obvious.

You nodded. “Hector’s driving us into the sea. If this keeps up we’ll be retreating home with our tails between our legs.”

Patroclus winced at the harsh truth. “Achilles won’t budge. I’ve tried everything. Nestor has tried. Even Briseis has pleaded with him in her own way.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’ve managed to get his blessing to lead the Myrmidons into battle, but only under strict conditions. He’s made me swear to stop at the ships and go no further. I’ll wear his armor to intimidate the Trojans, but…”

“But you know it’s not enough,” you finish for him, your eyes narrowing. “Hector won’t stop at the ships.”

The Myrmidons Second-in Command's gaze met yours, his desperation laid bare. “We need Achilles. Not just for his strength, but for what he inspires in the men. They’re losing hope.”

A long silence stretched between you as the weight of his words settled.

Finally Patroclus exhaled, his voice dropping as though sharing a secret. “If I push further...if I fight Hector maybe—”

“Don’t.” Your sharp tone cut him off mid-thought. Your expression softened slightly, but your words remained firm. “Don’t go further than what you’ve been allowed. Achilles gave you his blessing for a reason, and you’d do well to heed his warning—even if you think it might do some good.”

He blinked at you before a crooked smile pulled at his lips. With a playful roll of his eyes he muttered, “That’s exactly what he said.”

Despite the lightness of his words the shadow in his expression betrayed his stubbornness. You wanted to press further—to shake sense into him.

But you knew his resolve was set.

“Fine,” you relent, your tone losing its edge. “If you’re going to be reckless, at least be safe. And…” You paused, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration. “I guess I can go and try to speak with Achilles myself.”

Patroclus’ smirk softened into something more genuine, the gratitude in his eyes unspoken but obvious. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” you replied with a wry smile. “I’m about to do the impossible.”

As he walked away, you lingered for a moment, staring at the distant horizon where the Trojan banners loomed like a taunt. Gathering your resolve, you made your way toward Achilles’ tent.

The structure loomed ahead, its entrance flanked by his closest guards.

Silent as you passed, their stoic faces betraying no emotion, simply stepping aside to let you in without question. The air inside the tent was thick with shadows, the flickering candlelight barely illuminating the interior.

Achilles lay cocooned in his blankets. His head just peeking out as he stared blankly at the tent wall.

The weight of his stillness filled the space. He didn’t so much as flinch when you stepped inside, letting the flap fall closed behind you.

"Is this what the mighty Prince of Myrmidons has been reduced to?" your tone was laced with teasing mockery as you stepped closer. "Hiding in his blankets like a sulking child?"

No response. Not even a twitch.

You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes as you studied him. “Really? Not even a grunt? Gods, you must be worse off than I thought.”

Still nothing.

Sighing you move toward the bed and sit down at the edge near his head. His form shifted slightly under the weight of your presence, but he remained curled up, his face turned away.

Without thinking you slid a hand under his head, gently lifting to rest him upon your thighs. Achilles let out a soft exhale but didn’t resist, his blue eyes flickering shut as though the simple act of touch brought him solace.

Your fingers found their way to his hair, tangling in the golden strands as you began to lightly comb through them. The soft texture glided between your fingers and the tension in his body visibly ebbed.

The only sound heard was the quiet rustling of fabric as the Myrmidon leader sank further into the comfort of your lap. His breathing steadied, his features relaxed.

A fleeting smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the sight—this massive, fearsome warrior reduced to something so...human.

After a few minutes you broke the silence. “Is it Briseis?” you asked softly.

His face tightened almost imperceptibly, the faintest pout forming on his lips. The action was so juvenile you almost laughed.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” you hum dryly. “She’ll be fine you know. Agamemnon wouldn’t dare lay a finger on her after what I did.”

That earned a reaction. His lips twitched and one eye cracked open to give you a pointed look. “I heard,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble. “Nearly took the bastard’s head off.”

You smirked. “Nearly? I call that self-restraint.”

Achilles chuckled softly, but the sound was short-lived. He shifted slightly, the mirth fading as quickly as it had come. “It’s not just that,” he admitted. “It’s everything. This war, these people...I’m tired of it all.”

His voice was raw, tinged with something that sounded dangerously close to defeat. Your fingers paused in his hair.

“So that’s it?” your tone was sharp enough to cut. “You’re just going to let Hector run rampant—let Agamemnon destroy everything...because you’re tired?”

Achilles frowned but didn’t answer. Instead, he reached up and grabbed your hand, pulling it down to rest against his hair once again.

“The war will go on with or without me,” he said quietly. “Let Agamemnon handle it. Maybe he’ll finally get the death he deserves.”

You stared at him, your frustration mounting. “And what about the rest of us? Do we deserve to be trampled because you’ve decided to throw a tantrum?”

His eyes snapped open at that—blue and piercing. The two of you lock gazes, the air between you charged with unspoken tension.

Then without warning Achilles smirked. “You’re feisty when you’re angry,” his voice dipped into a teasing drawl. “You know you could always stay here. Sleep in my bed. That’d make me feel a lot better.”

Your jaw dropped, the sheer audacity of the man leaving you speechless. “Are you serious?!” you demanded before pulling your hand back as you moved to stand.

But Achilles was faster.

With surprising swiftness, he wrapped an arm around your waist and dragged you back onto the bed with him, his sheer strength making escape impossible.

“Achilles!” you hissed as you struggled against his hold. “Let me go!”

He grinned up at you unbothered by your squirming. “Nope. You’re too comfy. Stay.”

The two of you wrestled, twisting and turning as you tried to break free, your indignant huffs mingling with his laughter.

“Am I interrupting something?”

The voice froze you both in place. Your head snapped up to see Patroclus standing at the entrance of the tent, his expression caught somewhere between shock and amusement.

“I...what?” you stammered, your face heating as you realized the position you were in.

Patroclus’ wide eyes quickly narrowed into a grin, his lips twitching with suppressed laughter. “Well if I’d known being sad got you into our bed, I’d have tried it sooner.”

Your face burned hotter and you immediately started to stammer a response, but Achilles (ever the opportunist), took the chance to roll onto his back, taking you with him.

You let out a startled yelp as his arms pinned you against his bare chest. The heat of him makes your face burn in realization.

“Achilles!” you shriek. “Are you naked under there?!”

“Possibly,” he grins up at you, his tone far too smug. “Why? Does it bother you? Nothing you haven’t seen I bet.”

You took a deep breath as you glared down at him while trying to muster whatever dignity you had left. “You are impossible,” you snapped.

He smirked up at you, golden hair splayed out like a halo on the pillow beneath him. “Admit it—you love it.”

“Shut up!” you snapped, your hands smacking against his chest as your embarrassment reached new heights.

Patroclus, meanwhile, could only stand there and watch with a fond smile. He walks over to the bed, his russet skin glowing faintly in the dim candlelight as he leans down.

Without warning he presses a kiss to Achilles’ lips. The sight made your breath hitch.

When he pulls away Achilles’ cheeks were dusted pink and his eyes dazed.

Using your distraction, Patroclus turns to you before reaching out to gently cradle your jaw, tilting your face toward him. His vivid blue eyes held yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race.

“I have to go,” he said softly. “Try not to cause too much trouble while I’m gone.”

You blinked, flustered and overwhelmed. Opening your mouth to respond, the words caught in your throat as he leaned in.

For a second you thought he might kiss you. But just as his lips were about to brush yours, he shifted, pressing a kiss to your forehead instead.

Your mind went blank.

By the time you managed to recover Patroclus had already stepped away making you realize he was wearing Achilles' armor. The bronze gold metal gleamed faintly in the dim light.

“Keep the bed warm for me!” he called over his shoulder, his voice laced with teasing as he made his way out the tent.

You let out a strangled sound, grabbing the nearest pillow and hurling it after him. Sadly for you the soldier dodged it with a laugh of his own.

Achilles laughed, his hands still resting on your hips as you sat atop him. “Relax,” he said, his voice low and playful. “He’ll be back before you know it.”

The tent goes silent except for the distant sounds of the camp preparing to battle—horses whinnying, men shouting, weapons clanging.

“So,” Achilles breaks the quiet with a purr, his voice laced with amusement. “What do you want to do while we wait for Patroclus to come back? We’ve already got one position down. Maybe just lose a few layers of clothes and—”

“As if!” you snapped, glaring down at him. “I wouldn’t be caught dead in bed with—”

“Where is ____?”

The voice from outside the tent was firm and insistent. Your head snapped toward the sound just as Patroclus’ cheerful and mischievous tone followed.

“Oh she’s in Achilles’ tent!”

Your heart dropped to your stomach, you didn’t even have time to process the words before the tent flap was yanked open.

Eurylochus and Diomedes stood in the doorway, their gazes flicking from Achilles—grinning smugly beneath you—to your utterly mortified expression.

Their eyes traveled to the scene: you straddling Achilles, your hands braced on his bare chest, his hands still casually resting on your hips as covers are wrapped around both your waists.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Eurylochus blinked, his lips parting as though to speak but no words came out.

Achilles, however, was positively beaming. “Ah gentlemen!” he said, his voice filled with mock innocence. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

You tried to scramble off him, but his arms tightened around your waist, holding you firmly in place. His grin widened as you shot him a furious glare.

“T-this isn’t what it looks like!” you sputtered, your voice higher than you would have liked.

Diomedes raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because it looks exactly what it looks like.”

You opened your mouth, searching desperately for some way to salvage the situation but Achilles beat you to it. “There’s no need for explanations,” he says breezily as he rest his head back against the pillow. “We were just…getting comfortable.”

Your hands curled into fists, your face burning hotter than the noonday sun. “Achilles,” you growled through gritted teeth. “Shut. Up.”

The blond warrior only chuckled, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Why? I think they’re enjoying the show.”

Eurylochus cleared his throat, his expression torn between exasperation and disbelief. “If you’re quite done…Captain Penelope requests your help on something.”

Right as Achilles reluctantly releases his hold you scrambled off him, tugging at your tunic in a vain attempt to smooth it. You send him one last glare as Diomedes gave a pointed cough to draw your attention.

“I suggest you make yourself presentable,” he said dryly.

Eurylochus nods, his lips twitching as though he were holding back a laugh. “And maybe next time, choose a less...hectic time for your comfort.”

Face buried in your hands, you groan loudly as Achilles’ laughter rang out behind you.

*･:*:★☽✧⚔️✧☾★:*:･*

The low-hung sun in the sky casted long fragmented shadows across the camp.

Each step you took felt heavier than the last, though you refused to slow. The pounding of your racing heart was so loud it drowned out the sounds of the bustling camp.

Soldiers blurred past as you weaved through the narrow paths, their faces indistinct against the swirl of panic clouding your mind. 'Let this be nothing.'

The words repeated like a mantra, your panic rising with every step closer to the Myrmidon section of the camp as your injury throbbed with every movement.

It didn’t matter. You couldn’t stop.

Not when the urgent summons had come so unexpectedly.

The weight in the air shifted as you entered their domain. The usually proud and fearsome soldiers were subdued, their postures heavy with exhaustion and something darker—mourning.

Some tended to wounds in silence, their faces pale and grim, while others sat hunched over their weapons, hands shaking as they cleaned blood from the blades.

The sight only twisted the knot in your chest tighter.

When Achilles’ tent came into view you didn’t hesitate, your legs pushing faster despite the ache. The lack of guards at the entrance barely registered in your mind as you reached to throw open the flap.

Just as you did out stepped Eurylochus and Nestor. You froze mid-step, your gaze locking onto their faces.

Eurylochus’ expression was a blank mask, his lips pressed into a thin line. Nestor wasn’t much better; his shoulders sagged under an invisible weight.

“Eurylochus? Nestor?” you called in concern. “Were you summoned too?”

The two men froze for a moment, exchanging a quick glance before turning to you.

Eurylochus could only shake his head wordlessly and move past you in a brisk pace. Nestor lingered just long enough to place a gentle, almost apologetic hand on your shoulder before following after him.

Confusion bubbled in your chest as you turned to watch their retreating figures. “Wait—” you called again, but your words died on your lips as the tent flap shifted once more.

Penelope, Diomedes, and Polites emerged this time; their faces caught somewhere between surprise and discomfort at the sight of you.

“____” Polites was the first to break the tense silence. “What are you doing here?”

You raised a brow at his reaction. “I was summoned by a runner. Why else would I be here?”

A low curse escaped Diomedes as his jaw tightened. You caught a fragment of his words as he leaned toward Penelope, “I told them not to send for her.”

“What?” you asked, your tone sharp. “What does that mean? Why wouldn’t—”

“____!”

Before you could question him the broken cry of your name reached your ears.

You barely had time to turn before Briseis burst through the tent flap with tears streaming down her red face. She flung herself into your arms, her body trembling as she clutched at you like a lifeline.

“Y-You’re here,” she sobbed, “Oh Gods you’re here.”

Confusion took hold as you wrapped an arm around to steady her. “Briseis!” you exclaimed, holding her tightly as she buried her face in your shoulder. “Are you okay?! What happened?”

She could barely get a word out, her tears choking her voice into incomprehensible blubbering.

“Briseis,” you try again, quieter now, but the girl only shook her head against you, unable to form the words. 

Smoothing a hand over her hair, your own panic began to build as you glanced around for answers—but the camp surrounding Achilles’ tent offered none.

There were few soldiers nearby, and those who were avoided looking in its direction like it was the plague.

“Polites?” your voice break the silence as you looked over Briseis’ shaking form. “What is this? What is going on?”

Polites hesitated as if searching for the right words. “Maybe it’s...not the right time for you to go inside.”

“And why not?” you shot back. Gently coaxing Briseis into Penelope’s waiting arms, the older woman cradled the girl with soothing words as she buried herself into the Queen's embrace.

With Briseis momentarily settled you turned back to the tent. But before you could open the flap of the entrance completely, Diomedes moved swiftly, his hand closing over yours.

His grip was firm but not forceful, his face etched with something that looked like regret. “Don’t,” he said softly. “This isn’t something you should see.”

Even Penelope, who usually had no qualms about speaking her mind, remained silent with pursed lips. Though the look in her eyes echoed Diomedes’ and Polites' sentiment.

Frustration flared in your chest.

“I have every right to know what’s going on,” you snapped, pulling your hand free. “For the last time I was summoned here, so it must be important. Now I'm not leaving until someone tells me what in the Hades is—”

“Let her.”

Low, dull, and hollow; a voice slices through the tense air silencing everyone in an instant.

Your breath hitched as you turned toward the sound. You knew that voice.

Ignoring the others you pulled the flap open, your gaze sweeping the dim interior. Shadows danced in the flickering candlelight, and at first, the space seemed empty.

But then you saw him—slumped in the corner half-hidden in the darkness. Achilles sat motionless, his head resting back against the tent's post.

The faint glow of candlelight illuminated his face; his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen as they stared blankly at the far wall. Faint streaks of dried tears glistened on his flushed cheeks.

Even his golden hair hung disheveled over his forehead, his hands resting limply in his lap as though drained of all strength.

“Achilles,” you breathed, your worry spiking as you took a step inside. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He didn’t respond at first, his shoulders rising and falling with a shallow breath. Then, barely above a whisper, he said two words that sent a chill down your spine.

“My fault.”

Your chest tightened. “What?” your voice faltered. “Achilles...what do you mean?”

His lips moved soundlessly as he muttered under his breath. You stepped closer, straining to hear the words that spilled from him like a broken mantra.

“It’s my fault,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have let him...should’ve stopped him…”

As you stepped further inside, the others retreated, leaving you alone with Achilles.

A soft brush against your hand made you pause. Turning, you saw Penelope lingering just beyond the tent flap, her hand rested lightly on yours.

She didn’t say a word but the gesture spoke volumes. Giving you a nod, she gently guides Briseis to join Diomedes and Polites as they moved out of sight.

Now alone with the Prince of Phthia, you shift your attention back to him, taking slow deliberate steps as you ignore the way your heart hammers against your ribs.

“Achilles,” you call softly.

He didn’t respond.

“Achilles,” you try again, firmer now. “Wha—”

You froze mid-step as your eyes caught a glimpse of something beside the bed. It was barely visible beneath the folds of a blanket.

Your breath stuttered as your gaze traveled downward, the details sharpening with each agonizing second.

A still figure lay on the floor shrouded in simple white garb. Two silver coins rested over closed eyes, their cold gleam catching the dim candlelight.

The sight made your stomach churn violently.

Vivid blue eyes that had always looked at you with warmth and fondness were now hidden—lifeless and unmoving. Skin, once rich with a warm sun-kissed glow, had faded to a pale ashen hue, the life drained from it.

“Achilles,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “No…”

He didn’t look at you, his gaze still fixed on the wall as his muttered words repeated like a broken chant. “Shouldn’t have let him go…it’s my fault…my fault…”

You couldn’t tear your eyes away as you took a shaky step forward, the tears welling up and spilling over no matter how hard you tried to stop them.

Knees buckling, you sank to the floor, your hands reaching as you hesitate just inches away.

You wanted to touch, to confirm that this wasn’t real, that the cold skin would somehow spark back to the warmth you remembered. But the sight of the hands folded neatly over his chest stopped you.

They looked rigid, devoid of the gentle gestures you had come to know—the way they'd ruffle Briseis’ hair, clap Achilles on the shoulder, or hold a spear with effortless strength.

You clutch at the fabric of your clothes as the weight of reality crashed over you.

“Patroclus?”

[ciciandthemeeps]

Hey! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you

The 5 things that make me happy are...

1. My Family, because they're always with you no matter how bad or different you are 🫶🏼🫶🏼

2. People that are real and that would never hurt you/ my friends at school ☝️😖

3. You guys, y'all are so nice I love y'all so much 🥹🫶🏼

4. Music/Headphones, they help me focus on my stuff that I need to do and makes you feel good ^^

5. My blanket, because it's smooth and warm.

I also just wanted to say thank you to the ones who inspired me to keep on going, on just about everything really

@sonicranger1 @toonstudios @sirensea14 @midnightfire830 @melody-starlight @flutters-to-cuppers @rosewashereyt @lorelai-l0res @questmouse @alice-the-kittycat-yt @f3m09 @ohmygawditssunnyout

Y'all don't know how much y'all mean to mean, but I'm sure you do 😭😭🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[jinxvex]

Oh my gosh your writing is great! Can we please get a headcanons of caitlyn x crybaby girlfriend? Like where her girlfriend is more sensitive and emotional than she is? Sfw and nsfw please, and perhaps a bit of size difference sprinkled (Cause that woman is TALL OH MY WORD) if it's possible? Take your time please! And thank you <3

♱ gf!caitlyn x emotional/sensitive gf!reader headcanons!! ♱

i'm sorry for the wait y'all!! LOL i've been a bit lazy (oop)

cw: sfw & nsfw, reader that cries and is emotional, cute and wholesome (sfw portion), pet names, dirty talk, she uses a strap (spoiler! it's royal blue!!!), praise, degradation, dumbification, humiliation, slight size kink, slight crying kink, you eat each other out, fingering, etc!!

SFW:

♱ caitlyn finds your sensitivity adorable and admirable. she’s almost jealous of how you’re so in tune with your emotions. your submissive, emotional personality goes hand in hand with her casual dominance and urges to protect the people she loves.

♱ caitlyn’s heart palpitates every time your eyes sparkle with emotions you can’t even explain at times— when your fingers clench the bottom of her shirt and you look up at her with raw vulnerability.

- “what’s the matter, darling? talk to me.”

♱ it doesn’t matter if you make a mistake, drop something valuable, or spill a drink, she’s always there to comfort you and tell you it’s alright, “c-cait ’m sorry i didn’t mean t-” + “don’t cry, love. you’ve made a mistake, that’s all.”

♱ cait’s a chronic forehead kisser (lol).

♱ she loves to treat you with the utmost care and consideration! if you’re more emotional and prone to stress-induced crying, she makes sure that there is nothing around you that could cause any unwanted feelings because she feels she isn’t doing her job as your girlfriend (or wife 😛) if you’re unhappy, “i hope everything’s to your liking, love? if you need anything, trust that i’ll give it to you.”

♱ caitlyn always seems to have her hand at the small of your back, rubbing it to show you she’s there if you need her. her protective touch instills a sense of calm in you, keeping you happy, appreciated, and seen.

♱ she slaps your ass playfully whenever you pout. OOPS

♱ she wraps her hands around you in a protective embrace whenever you do cry. she lets you sob into her chest as she hugs your smaller frame, whispering sweet nothings in your ear to comfort you, “shhh, it’s okay. it’s okay. ‘m here, baby, caitlyn’s here.”

♱ caitlyn dresses you in brand-new clothing the morning after you’ve had a bad day/night! (once again) patting your ass when she’s done pulling on your clothes and placing her hand on your hips to guide you to the full-length mirror across from the bed, “gorgeous.” + “look at you, sweetheart. you’re so beautiful.” + “do you like it? the clothes?”

♱ whenever she can’t be with you, busy protecting piltover from its enemies, she asks the maids to give you gifts and notes sent from her to remind you that she loves you—that you should look forward to her arriving home. the last thing she wants is for you to get emotional because you think she’s forgotten you!

♱ while i do agree that she prefers to keep her relationships private and she hates PDA. she wouldn’t hesitate to hold your hand or give you a reassuring hug or kiss whenever you need it!

♱ even when you are in a good mood, laughing and enjoying yourself. you could be in public, private, it doesn’t matter, she’s whispering to you how much she loves you, “your smile is just beautiful, my love.” + “i’m so lucky to have you. so radiant.”

♱ her love languages are words of affirmation, gift-giving, and acts of service!!

NSFW (🤭):

♱ we ALL know deep down she gives dom (specifically dom leaning switch) vibes!! she can get subby too!

♱ dare i say i agree that caitlyn has a MEAN size kink… there’s something about the way you look so much shorter, smaller than her when she’s pounding you into the mattress that makes her dripping wet, “wow, darling. you look so cute like this. so submissive.”

♱ since you can get in your head and get quite emotional, she does praise more than degrade (she still sprinkles it in here or there, especially if you’ve been bad). she likes dumbification and humiliation if that makes sense… WALK WITH ME HERE!!

♱ some of the things she’d say include: “you’re doing so good for me. so obedient. so willing.” + “my cute little whore. you get wet so easily, it’s adorable.” + “you can’t even think, can you? you don’t have to. just do as i say. thaaat’s it, good girl.”

♱ she enjoys making you cry out of embarrassment rather than sadness. imagine you’ve been giving her attitude and rudeness all day and she’s punishing you for it. she would force you to spread your legs and touch yourself while you apologize to her and tell her how much you love her in detail, “i hope you don’t think you’re cumming tonight, love.” + “you’re such a slut. giving me bullshit all day simply because you want to get stuffed full of my cock.” + “don’t you fucking cum. you don’t deserve it today.”

♱ because caitlyn has such a soft spot for you, she’d lowkey give in to your begging and let you cum anyway LMDAOSO.

♱ she spends hours praising you and telling you how good you feel and look during sex! the curve of your waist and hips, your ass and thighs cause her to believe you’re a gift from heaven!

♱ the strap is royal blue!! 6.8 inches… and when she gives you every inch, tears can’t help but prick your eyes and threaten to fall. it’s just too much!! i fear she enjoys it though, her smile toothy as she watches you cry and struggle to take her cock in a mating press, “it hurts, doesn’t it? you take it so well, it’ll feel better soon and you’ll be begging me to fuck you.”

♱ she eats you out after a meltdown!! wanting you to feel better—to feel the love she has for you! she kisses it before she eats it… AGGHHHHHFHHH. she’s always so gentle when she has her tongue on you, licking and kissing softly and spreading your cunt with her fingers, “oh, sweetheart. you’re dripping! can’t wait to eat you up.”

♱ now when you’re eating caitlyn out, she’s caressing your head/holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail. she pushes your head into her cunt, muffling the noises coming from your throat, “yes, yes! mhm right there. don’t stop, darling.”

♱ when you’re fingering her, you always seem to hold back slightly, afraid to hurt her. she urges you to, “go harder, love. you won’t hurt me. i need this, can’t you see?” + you’re the only one who can produce such high-pitched and needy moans from her!

♱ she loves seeing you in lingerie… there’s something that makes her feral seeing someone so sweet in such naughty attire. you have dozens of sets of lingerie and corsets (that she’s gifted you) so when you’re alone, she can see you in them 24/7.

♱ she’s a tribbing enthusiast! but she loves to save it for more emotional, passionate nights with you. it’s very dear to her.

thanks 4 the request!! writing this took long but it was fun! 💋

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 2, day 23, one more day of work until VACATION!!!!!! It's my birthday on Tuesday so I took the whole week off XD

Tonight I've tried to make the face a little more animated (hah), which right now is mostly reflected in the nose and mouth. I'll work on the eyes and eyebrows later

[pedroscurls]

training partners (pt. 5)

summary: hugh begins filming for deadpool & wolverine and as planned, you get to join him as the on-set photographer for the film... and aspects of your relationship comes up in conversation. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader warnings: implied age gap (hugh is 55, reader is in late 20s-early 30s), reader has some description (hair, outfit), reader has some negative self-talk / aspects of imposter syndrome, no use of y/n. word count: 3.4k a/n: let me tell y'all, this was just so much fun to write! we're progressing this relationship and we're not even close to being done here, so had to leave it on a bit of a cliffhanger bc the next one is gonna be good 😉 hope you enjoy!!! this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman. (btw - updates will be posted either saturday night or sunday morning!) prev part. - next part.

Hugh cuddles you from behind, lips near your ear and arm draped over your midsection. He feels your fingertips run along his forearm, resting back against him as you stare out the window of the hotel room. You and Hugh had arrived on location, not wasting any time before checking into the hotel. Tomorrow would be the first day on set of Deadpool & Wolverine and there’s a part of you that’s extremely nervous. 

It still doesn’t feel real that you’re here, not only with Hugh, but that you’d get to be the on-set photographer for this movie. You feel a sudden sense of imposter syndrome overcome you. Despite Shawn and Ryan repeatedly telling you that your work was amazing, it still didn’t feel like you belonged here, amongst this caliber of talent. 

You know that you should be asleep, should be getting some rest, but you can’t shut off your mind. You’re about to slide out of Hugh’s grasp but his arm tightens around you and pulls you back flush against him.

“Where ya going?” Hugh whispers against your ear. 

“Can’t sleep.”

“I know,” he replies. “I can practically hear you thinking.” Slowly, Hugh watches you turn to lie on your back so that you can look up at him. His arm remains draped over you as he props himself on his free hand. “Talk to me.”

“Just don’t wanna disappoint you or Ryan or Shawn.”

“You won’t, baby.”

“But how do you know?” 

“Because your work is amazing,” Hugh says softly, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I know how passionate you are with your work, how excited you get when you’re behind the camera… You love what you do and you produce amazing photographs because of it.” His hand from your midsection moves up to your brush a few strands of hair away from your face, thumb running gently over your cheekbone. “You’re going to be great, honey.” 

You look up at him, gazing into his eyes. Since meeting Ryan and Shawn, your world has just expanded. You no longer believe that you wouldn’t fit into Hugh’s life because you just fit so easily, like you were meant to be there all along. The more time you spend with Hugh and his friends, how comfortable and at ease you are around him, you begin to realize that you’re falling so deeply in love with him. 

And it fucking scares you because you know that at any moment, this fairytale, this dream can come to an end. You try to tell him through your eyes, through your expressions just how strongly you feel for him. You don’t want to say the words first because you aren’t sure if he even feels the same way. It’s truly only been a few months since getting together with him and there are just so many other things to consider before telling him that you’re falling for him. 

You have to tell your parents. 

He has to tell his kids.

And his fans… God, you’re afraid that once the entire world knows of your relationship with him that things will change. 

So, you try to hold onto him a little longer to yourself (even though you know it’s bound to come out) and you’re grateful that Hugh understands. He never pushes you past what you’re comfortable with. 

“It must be exhausting,” you finally say. “To always be reassuring me.” 

Hugh shakes his head as he sits up to rest against the headboard. He brings you to sit on his lap and reaches over to turn on the lamp from the nightstand. He stares up at you and notices the distress in your features and he wants nothing more than to just tell you how much he loves you. He hates the fact that your ex-boyfriend and past relationship causes so much doubt and uncertainty in you. He wonders who you were before your ex-boyfriend, if the light in you dimmed because of him. He wishes he can just heal all of the wounds and scars that your ex-boyfriend left, wishes he can take away all the pain that still lingers. 

“It isn’t,” Hugh replies. “If I have to repeatedly tell you how amazing you are and how lucky I am to have you, I’ll do it. No matter what it takes and no matter how many times I have to say it.” He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours as he feels your arms snake around his neck. He stares into your eyes, can see them glistening with unshed tears. 

There’s a silence that engulfs the both of you and even with the silence, you both can somehow sense what the other is saying. 

I love you. 

It hangs in the air, neither you or Hugh saying it out loud but you feel it. You both do. Hugh reaches up and splays his hand against the side of your neck, his thumb brushing against your jawline. He sees you lean against his touch, eyes falling shut as a tear slides down your cheek and hitting his thumb. Gently, he reaches up to wipe away the fallen tear and leans in to kiss your cheek. 

He wants to tell you how much he loves you, how you had been such an unexpected surprise in his life, how he loves all of you, even parts of yourself that you don’t think are worthy of love. With your eyes still closed, Hugh mouths it silently: “I love you.” 

Your arms tighten around him and then you move to bury your face against the side of his neck. Having him hold you like this brings you so much comfort, so much safety and when you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you let out a contented sigh. 

“You’re perfect,” you whisper. “And I’m really lucky to have you, Hugh.” 

He isn’t sure why your words stir something inside of him. It causes butterflies to swarm his stomach, his heart beating faster. His hand gently rubs your back and he feels you relax in his grasp. “Not perfect,” he replies. “And if anyone’s lucky, baby, it’s me. I think you came into my life when I needed it the most,” Hugh admits. 

That causes you to pull back again to look down at him. “I think life brought us together at the right time,” you add. 

“And my life’s been better because of it.” 

You blush and lean in to peck his lips lightly. You glance at the clock on the nightstand, seeing that it’s well past midnight and knowing that you both need to sleep soon. Hugh starts filming tomorrow and it’ll be your first day on set. On any movie set, but you want to tell him that you’re falling for him. 

“Hugh, can I tell you something?” 

“Anything, baby.”

“I, uh–” you bite your lower lip nervously. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest because you need to tell him, to be completely honest with him. “I’m fal–”

Hugh’s phone rings, interrupting you and he doesn’t even bother to turn his attention to it. He nods in your direction, the phone still ringing in the background. 

“You should answer that, Hugh. It can be Ryan or Shawn, or… your kids.” 

Hugh looks into your eyes and can see that the moment passed. He had a strong feeling of what you were about to say and it caused an excitement to rush through him. It gives him reassurance and certainty that you’re feeling the same way as he is. 

“Right, yeah. Sorry, baby.” Hugh pecks your lips and then reaches for his phone, seeing the caller ID. When you see Shawn’s name on the screen, you slowly climb off his lap and move to lie back down on the bed. Hugh stands from the bed and answers the phone, motioning that he’d be in the other room. 

You nod in his direction before turning to lie on your side, once more facing the large window as you stare out of it. “I’m falling in love with you, Hugh,” you mumble to yourself, to the empty bedroom once you hear the door shut behind him. 

—

The following morning, you and Hugh arrive on set and begin making your way to his trailer. You’re dressed casually in a pair of jeans with a white t-shirt and an oversized dark blue knit sweater with your taupe colored birkenstocks. You have two cameras draped over you, one digital and one film. 

There’s been an unresolved tension that lingered between you and Hugh since last night. You hadn’t tried to continue the conversation when he came back to bed after a brief phone call with Shawn and Ryan and he didn’t try to push it either. But, as you both got ready that morning, there were lingering glances, words unsaid but hung in the air, waiting for someone to just say something about last night. 

Yet, neither of you did. 

Once inside the trailer, you turn to look at Hugh and reach out for his hand. He turns around to look at you, confusion written on his features as he steps up to you. 

“Yeah, baby?” 

“Are we–” you bite your lower lip. “Should we not act like we’re in a relationship while we’re on set?” You ask honestly, releasing his hand to rest on his chest. 

“What do you wanna do?” Hugh asks. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, baby, we’ll go with that.” 

You think back to last night, how close you were to telling him that you were falling in love with him. You wanted to keep your relationship with him a secret, private, and only for you and close friends to know, but you know that’s not likely to happen. This is just another aspect of Hugh’s life, being in the public eye. 

“It’s going to eventually come out, right?” You reply, looking up at him. “Things will change once everyone knows.” 

“I know.” Hugh says quietly. “But it won’t change the way I feel about you.” 

“Okay,” you nod. “Okay.” 

Hugh tilts his head and then leans down to peck your lips. “How about we think on it, hm? See how this week goes and if you’re still sure, then we can talk about it.” 

You feel relief flood in your veins. After last night’s events, you didn’t even have time to think about what your dynamic with Hugh would be while on set. The only other people on set that know about your relationship is Ryan and Shawn and there’s a part of you that wants to tell Hugh how you feel about him before announcing to the whole world of this new relationship. 

“How do you know me so well?” you quietly laugh, bringing your hands to rest on his lower back. 

“You don’t realize how expressive you are, do you?” He smiles. “Plus, you’ve got a terrible poker face.”

You roll your eyes and then wrap your arms around his midsection, hugging him tightly to you. Despite being with him on set, you’re both going to have to work hard to keep this relationship a secret from everyone else and that means no intimate touching, no kissing – you both can’t display any affection towards each other. 

“What can I say? I wear my heart on my sleeve.” 

Hugh smiles. “I know. It’s one of the things I love about you.”

Love. It slips out of Hugh’s lips and your eyes immediately widen up in his direction to see the same shocked expression on his face. He opens his mouth to say something, but there’s a knock at the door of his trailer that stops him. 

You both don’t move to answer it though, still staring into each other’s eyes and the unresolved tension from this morning comes back. The unfinished conversation from last night now lingers in the air. 

“Hugh, it’s make-up! You ready for us?” the team calls out from the other side of the door. 

“Duty calls,” you whisper quietly, shakily. 

Hugh just nods, but he leans down to press his lips against yours. If he’s going to be filming all day, he knows he won’t be able to see you until tonight so he takes this brief moment to deepen the kiss. He can’t believe he let it slip. In his trailer of all places. 

You move your lips against his, hand moving up to tangle in his hair. You follow his movements and only pull away when you hear another knock. You take a step back, creating distance between the both of you. You want to say something, to address what he just said, but the knocking on the door becomes more persistent. With a sigh, you turn around and open the door for them, flashing them a friendly smile. 

“Hi,” you introduce yourself, telling them that you’re here early to take some behind-the-scenes shots of Hugh getting ready to film his scenes and they’re all more than happy to be involved. 

You easily move into the background, having been used to being behind the camera. He sits at the chair in front of the mirrors and when he’s not in conversation with the make-up artists, he’s glancing over at you to make sure that you’re okay. You just give him a nod and a small smile. 

This is your comfort zone, behind the camera and capturing candid moments. About half an hour later, you tell Hugh and the make-up team that you’re leaving to go and explore more of the set to capture more pictures, mentioning that you’re going to find Ryan’s trailer afterwards. Telling them that you were leaving was more for Hugh, but you don’t spare him a glance when you leave his trailer, even though you wanted nothing more than to just go up to him and give him a kiss goodbye. 

—

By the time you see Hugh again, it’s lunch time for the cast and crew. You’re looking down at your camera, scrolling through the photographs you’ve taken so far and it brings a large smile on your face. When you feel a hand rest on your lower back, you turn and look up to see Hugh. 

“I can’t believe I get to see Wolverine in action,” you tease. “My favorite superhero.”

Hugh grins down at you, wanting to reach out to pull you into his arms but he refrains. “That’s right, Wolverine’s always been your favorite, huh?” 

“Oh yeah, even more so now,” you smile. 

“Yeah? Why’s that, baby?” 

“Because of you.” 

Hugh smiles, biting his lower lip. “Because of me, hm? You like me, baby?” 

You nod, thinking back to what he said earlier that morning. “More than you know, Hugh,” you say seriously. 

Hugh looks around and notices that you’re both alone. He leans down and pecks your lips lightly, pulling away slowly. “We got a lot of things to talk about when we get back to our hotel room, huh?” 

You nod, bringing your hands up to run along his chest. “Yeah, we do.” 

“Well, I can’t wait.” Hugh takes your hands and kisses your knuckles before he releases his hold on you. “For right now, though, gimme your camera.” 

You narrow your eyes, looking up at him. “Why?” 

“What? Don’t trust me with it?” 

“Maybe…” 

Hugh feigns a shocked gasp and then lets out a quiet chuckle. “Just – Please, I promise I’ll be very careful.” 

“Fine,” you tell him. “You’re lucky I like you.” 

“Oh, I know.” Hugh winks. “Now, camera please.” 

You remove the strap from around your neck and hand him your digital camera, tilting your head up at him as you watch him play with the control. 

“Alright, now smile for me, baby.” He looks through the viewfinder and points the camera down at you, pressing down on the shutter button as the camera takes continuous photographs. 

“What? No!” you say, trying to reach out for him. “Hugh!” 

Hugh takes a step back and grins from behind the camera, using his free hand to grab your arm so that you can’t cover your face. He sees the smile on your face, eyes sparkling and he takes the picture. He feels his heart swell at the sight of you as he looks down at your camera to see the picture he had taken of you. You look so carefree, so calm and at ease, so perfectly beautiful. 

“Don’t delete that,” Hugh tells you and hands you back the camera. 

You look down at the picture he’s taken and you smile to yourself. Leave it up to Hugh to capture a picture of you that you actually like. You place the camera back around your neck, gazing up at him. “Did you have your lunch yet?” 

Hugh nods. “Yeah, baby. What about you?” 

“No, not yet. I’ve just been walking around set. I can’t believe you get to do this for a living.” 

Hugh takes your hand and leads you back to his trailer. “Yeah, I’m really lucky. I’m glad you’re here though, baby.” 

“Me too,” you smile, lacing your fingers with his. 

Once at his trailer, he opens the door for you and you step inside, removing the cameras from around your neck to set on the table. Immediately, you walk over to the couch near the end of his trailer and lie back on it with a contented sigh. Hugh smiles to himself and walks towards you, sitting down near your feet and placing it on his lap. He removes your shoes and begins massaging the bottom of your feet, watching you flinch away from his touch and bring your legs up. 

“Nope,” you tell him. 

“What? My baby ticklish, is that it?” Hugh grins, turning to face you as he grabs your ankles and pulls you to him. 

“Hugh, don’t even think about it.” 

A mischievous look flashes in his features as he moves to settle himself between your legs. “Ah, so you are ticklish. Good to know. Is it just your feet that you’re ticklish or…” his fingers move along your sides teasingly, eyes staring directly into yours. 

“Hugh!” you exclaim, reaching down to grab his wrists to pull his hands away from your body. 

Hugh smirks and grabs your wrists, pinning them above your head as he leans down, lips inches away from yours. “Aw, baby,” he says lowly, his free hand applying pressure along your side as he begins to tickle you as you erupt in a fit of laughter. He keeps his gaze on you as you continue to giggle, squirming from his touch as you struggle to get your wrists free from his grip. 

“Hugh!” you repeat in between your laughter. “Please!” 

Hugh chuckles to himself, pausing briefly to look down at you. He keeps his hold on your wrists and then brings his free hand to your cheek. “I love hearing your laugh, baby.” 

“You’re terrible,” you tease, trying to catch your breath. 

“I’m sorry,” he says with a smile, releasing his hold on your wrists as your hands move to rest on his shoulders. “Kind of.” 

You roll your eyes and lean up to peck his lips. “Hugh?” 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, gazing into your eyes. 

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For everything.”

Hugh smiles and uses his free hand to stroke your hair back away from your face. God, he wants to tell you he loves you, but he refrains from doing so. 

Not right now. 

Not yet. 

But tonight, he will.

—

You had gone back to the hotel earlier than Hugh, already changed into one of his t-shirts and a pair of panties. He texts you that he’s on his way back and you smile to yourself, sitting up on the bed with the television playing in the background. On your computer, you transfer the photos from your camera to your hard drive, waiting for it to finish. 

You turn your head at the sound of the door opening and sees Hugh step inside, dropping his bag near the door before he makes his way towards you. You stand up from the bed and smile up at him, tilting your head at the look on his face. He looks anxious, but determined. He strides towards you and immediately wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him. 

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” you smile, your hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. “Everything okay?” 

“I love you,” Hugh blurts out, feeling the weight lift off his shoulders. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

---

taglist (if links don't work, i'm sorry!): @corvusmorte - @dragonqueen89 - @whimsiwitchy - @kellyxo1

@wolviehugh - @moonxknightx - @sullyselena - @angelofthorr - @spectorrrhgf

@needz1nk - @fandomxo00 - @godlypresley - @kythefangirl25 - @callsignyourmom

@sue8724 - @squishyfruitloop - @sylviavf - @emotrash1 - @dissentientss

@sir-thisisadndserver - @absolutepie - @millajay - @itsallyscorner - @haytchee

@wolverigrl - @its-in-the-woods - @d3ad2you

[kyaroscuro]

All About You

Maybe it's all about you when your youth is filled with each other's names and your heart has never changed. That's what Juyeon finds out when he falls in love with his best friend.

pairing : bff!juyeon x gn!reader (+bf to ex!sunwoo) genre : fluff, bestfriends to lovers, slow burn, slight angst but happy ending warnings : swearing/cursing, sex jokes, implied sex, mention of burnout, alcohol consumption, heartbreak, pet names (sweetheart, good girl, pretty, baby) notes : it's been a long road but i'm happy to introduce y'all to my baby! i've been (and still am) obsessed with juyeon since the zeneration 2 concert and i guess i've had a lot to write about him... i hope you'll find out the few references i've managed to sneak in! enjoy ✧.* shout out to my dear @winterchimez for proofreading and helping me during the whole writing process, you were a great help <3 words count : 13745

No one ever told you how relationships work. So when you fell in love with your best friend Juyeon at 16, you felt a little helpless. Should he be the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Was it wrong to lean on him when he welcomed you into his arms for a movie night? Eventually those feelings faded as you both started dating, and you wondered if it was even true love. Maybe the 16-year-old teenager you were was just attracted to the idea of being close to another soul, mentally and physically.

Maybe yes.

The only thing you know right now at 24, is that the feelings you had for Juyeon back then were nothing compared to the ones you have for Sunwoo today. The attention and love he gives you makes everyone jealous. Even Juyeon himself.

If he wanted to take you out to dinner, you would turn him down because you already had plans with Sunwoo. Arcade, karaoke, late night walks, picnics, fancy restaurants or fast food, you’re always together. Sometimes when you feel like staying in, Juyeon would show up, hoping to watch a movie like the good old days. But he’s met with Sunwoo at the door and doesn’t have the energy to see you being all lovey-dovey.

He knows better than to be a third wheel. As much as he understands the time you spend with your boyfriend, he can’t help but feel jealous and left out. You’re not trying to make him feel that way, you just needed Sunwoo’s presence.

The two of you met in your 3rd year of thesis. He was actually the student under your supervision for his end-of-studies internship. You obviously spent six months seeing each other and working together – in the lab, the library, cafes and even at home. You both grew closer in no time, and that’s only fair given the fact that Sunwoo is a living comedian. You don’t think you would have made it through the whole editing process without his support.

The funniest thing he had ever done was that he was proofreading your work while you did the same for his. Sure enough, you both graduated with the help from one another and a couple of kisses were shared.

From Juyeon’s point of view, those six months felt like an eternity. He had a girlfriend at the time and couldn’t really go out with you. You were both busy for different reasons, but still tried to see each other once a week. But when you did see each other, you always talked about Sunwoo and he talked about his girlfriend. That’s what your lives were made of, but it was a little heartbreaking that you were best friends who only talked about your partners.

“How’s the job hunt going?” He asked at one of your meetings.

“Great actually, I felt like giving up, but I didn’t endure those three years to throw it all away, did I? Sunwoo helped me a lot, he’s my lifesaver.”

Juyeon felt like throwing up, as if his heart had been stepped on the moment he heard those words, and he didn’t know why.

“What about you?” You asked him, cutting his train of thought.

Oh, he knew you were talking about his own job, which he quit a few months ago (more like he’s on a break because he’s burned out). But it’s not like he has to tell you; he doesn’t have the guts to anyway. He thinks you would be sad and angry with him, when all you really want is for him to be happy. And he’s also upset that he’s had to give up on his dream job because it was affecting his health. Thankfully, his boss has been kind enough to give him a chance to rest up for now. Maybe all he needs to keep going is your reassurance?

“We broke up.” He says quietly, looking down at his hands.

“I’m so sorry Juyo, aren’t you too sad?” You say as you reach out to him.

“To be honest, I am.” He admits, looking up at you, a small smile forms on his lips. “It was a mutual agreement, but I feel like I screwed it up. She said I needed to think about my own needs and wants.”

“And what do you want?”

“To spend time with you.” He says straightforwardly.

Your cheeks flushed at his sudden comment. Has he always been so honest?

“I’m free tomorrow if you’re fine with that? Sunwoo is going out with his band.” You say, eager to spend more time with him. “Oh, and Juyo; you should know that I will always make time for you. You’re a big part of my life and I care about you more than anyone else so please do not hesitate to reach out if you need anything. I’m just one call away.”

“I know that but I always seem to bother you.” He says, a little ashamed to think so.

“You don’t. What makes you think that?” You frown at his words, wondering if he actually meant them. “You have no idea how much I look forward to our weekly meetings! It keeps me going during the week, I swear, ask Sunwoo he only hears about you.”

“Oh,” he responded, feeling delighted with your words.

“Yes Juyo, I miss you a lot.” You gasped shyly, suddenly very focused on your hot cup.

“I miss you even more.” He looks for your eyes with a hint of fondness that you don’t notice, even when you raise your head to tell him,

“So tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he smiles, pleased to see you smile back with the same touch of affection.

When you think about it, you don’t understand how it is possible to break up with Lee Juyeon. You didn’t really know the girl he was dating, you never met her, you only saw her face in a picture once. But you do know your best friend, and he’s not the type to break someone’s heart. He would fight for the person he loves, even if it doesn’t work out. Juyeon is love personified. So how can you reject him?

Woo ☼ (3)

Sweetheart I miss you

When are you coming back home

I have a present for you

What kind of present?

Me ;)

OMW

Juyo <3 (1)

Thanks for today, I can’t wait for tomorrow. Pick you up at 10?

Will be pretty and ready!

Always pretty but ready? I’m looking forward to it

As soon as you read his message, your heart began to thump real loud and your cheeks immediately flushed red. Who are you and what have you done to Juyeon? When did he become so flirty? Or maybe he has always been like this and you never cared before. But why do you even care now? 

When you were 16, you remember vividly how he kissed your hand goodbye because he was a gentleman and you were a darling. Everyone at school made fun of you for being so old-fashioned, but little did they know that you liked it. Eventually, when you turned 17, he dropped the act and started kissing your forehead instead. It was a hundred per cent worse. Your cheeks turned pink every time you thought about it and people were calling you out for being highkey on PDA and asking you to spare the singles.

Maybe then he was always this flirty.

It didn’t matter much to you because it was puppy love. The first man you ever loved. Until Sunwoo came into the picture.

“How was your date sweetheart?” You laugh into the kiss he greets you with.

“Pretty good, I think I’m developing feelings, I don’t know, he’s just so sweet and- Ouch Sunwoo!” You yelped, surprised by his sudden, somewhat erotic gesture.

“What?” He giggles innocently.

“You didn’t have to pin me against the wall, did you?” You ask rhetorically, knowing full well what his answer will be.

“I did,” his sparkling eyes turn to onyx, his tongue runs over his lips and his gaze travels up and down your body as he answers.

“Yeah?” You whisper, aroused by his deep voice.

“Yes.”

His plump lips are all over yours in an instant, taking your breath away. To deepen the kiss and emphasise his need to be closer, he grabs your legs so you can wrap them around his waist and welcome him in. Your arms wrap around his neck as you yield, kissing him back with passion and love. He doesn’t let go until you’re both out of breath, and then he kisses you again and again like a madman. Eventually, you’re so lost in the pleasure of his kisses that when you feel him nipping at your neck, you push him away, panting.

“I understand that Juyeon is your best friend,” he says with a heavy voice. “But you can’t joke about dating another man.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to answer as he runs his tongue over your lips before kissing you lazily. You stick out your tongue, waiting for him to resume his kiss. He chuckles at your behaviour but kisses you nonetheless.

“Good girl hm, are you hungry?” He utters with lustful and honey dripping eyes.

“Let’s take this into the bedroom then.” At his promise to take you to heaven, you nod eagerly, excited to see what he has planned for you.

You don’t quite remember what happened after that, too lost in lust and love. You felt the kisses on your forehead and the caresses in your hair before he left the bed.

Suddenly, nothing. All you felt was emptiness.

You turn to check your phone when you yelp in pain because your back hurts. Your man was a beast last night.

Wait.

9:30am?

You hurriedly get out of bed, taking in your dishevelled appearance and the hickeys Sunwoo had the courtesy to leave on your body. You’re ashamed to go out like this, because you know that you have little to no time to cover them up.

More importantly, Juyeon will notice them. It’s not that you cared about exposing your sex life, you have a lot of fun with Sunwoo and he’s the greatest in and out of bed. But for Juyeon to see you in such a vulnerable way? It does something to you and you can’t figure out why.

You never talked about your sex life with Juyeon although you are best friends; you two are kind of secretive. Sure, there were times when you complained that your exes were terrible kissers or that dates were horrible. But when it comes to any form of intimacy, it was out of the books. You both never joked about kinks, never asked about turn-ons. Yet, you shared your very first kiss with Juyeon when you were 16.

It was a bit messy and hilarious because you had no idea what you were doing. You remember how when he dropped you off after school or after a playdate, he had this cute habit of kissing your hand goodbye. It was also at that age when you started going to parties – a party between friends, no alcohol, maybe just some cheap beer that tasted like grass. But that was fun and it was also the time when you were introduced to love, through couples and kisses.

Love has always been a foreign language to you. You know for a fact that love is what your parents share with each other, through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts but also through struggles.

But you also know that the person you’re closest to doing those things is Juyeon. You both were always cuddling, fighting over movies or places to eat. You both would also cheer, support and reassure each other.

You both would always have each other on your minds, sending texts, calling or buying sweet things. It’s only fair that you thought you were in love with him, isn’t it?

And that faithful night, at your birthday party, he thought it would be a great idea to carry you and run around in circles until he lost his balance and fell with you laying on top of him. You didn’t know what was going through his mind, but you saw flames in his starry eyes, and then he pecked at your lips. He brushed it off by pulling you up and wishing you a happy birthday but your heart was racing and so was his.

“Sorry Ju, I woke up late, I didn’t want to keep you waiting,” you pout as you reached his car, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank god your prettiness makes up for lost time,” he jokingly hugs you, his hands laying a little low on your waist. “But you have to take responsibility for making me wait.”

“Juyeon! It’s been 5 minutes you can’t blame me for the delay!” You wriggle into his embrace and put your head in the crook of his neck, a little embarrassed but wanting to be close to him.

“I can, and that’s exactly what I’m doing,” he whistles, taking you out of his arms to observe the love bites on your fair skin. “Maybe you’d be on time if you hadn’t had so much fun last night.”

“Y-Yeah, I walked into a trap,” you stammered, speechless.

“The kind of trap you can’t refuse, I bet.”

And he opens the passenger door before giving you his hand to help you get in. You look at his hand and then straight into his eyes to understand where that confidence comes from, but he just smiles and nods.

“Come on, we have much to do before the carriage turns into a pumpkin.” He smiles and fights with the wind to tuck a wild strand of hair behind your ear.

Spending time with Juyeon is one of the things you adore the most in the world. You were so used to spending your days with him when you were teenagers that you almost forgot what it was like. The princess treatment, the cafe dates, the shopping and giving opinions on outfits, the restaurants. Now that you’re all grown up, reliving those moments feels a little bit odd but great. After all, you’re the same people who dance to the music in every corner shop and laugh at every silly move you make.

Going out with Juyeon is also all about treats and gifts. You have this implicit rule that when you’re out and about, you’re encouraged to pay in turns – be it at the restaurants, bars or for desserts. And of course, he pleases you more often than you please him, but you tend to buy more things related to him – matching items or clothes that reflect his style.

“Look at this cute bracelet! We should get it to celebrate our 10 years offriendship,” you beamed, slipping the bracelet around his wrist without a word of protest to see how it looks.

“But it’s paired with a promise ring?” He comments, in case you haven’t noticed and had a change of heart.

“Then we can get the ring in another 10 years,” you giggle and squeeze his hand to reassure him that this is what you want.

Happy with your little joke, you went to the cashier to buy the bracelets. But it sparked something within Juyeon’s heart. He may be slow to understand, but you don’t have to tell him twice. You consider him to be your significant other. That’s what a promise ring means.

After all, you wanted to commit yourself to him for the rest of your life. You’re his best friend and that should be normal. It is normal to stick by each other’s side. But why is his heart missing a beat?

If you ask Juyeon about his relationship with you, he would describe it as “enchanting”. You’re the most important thing to him. Ever since he bumped into you in 3rd grade, you two have been inseparable. But there’s something that’s always bothered him.

In the beginning, he thought it was because you were the only one that he was really close to. He didn’t look at you any differently. But every time you smiled, he felt a twist in his stomach. Then he made it his goal to make you blush and to kiss your hand. It was thrilling to see you all flustered by his own actions.

He grew up and unfortunately that feeling never went away. In the end, he thought that maybe it was just the hormones. A 16-year-old boy needs to get to know his body and its needs. That’s what he did. Eventually the feelings vanished, but the uncomfortable feeling stayed. Even when he was with his ex.

He’s well aware that you are in a relationship with Sunwoo and that the two of you are in love. He’s never been happier for you. After all the people who have taken advantage of you, you deserve someone positive. Someone who will be there for you and will make you feel loved and truly fall in love. Like Sunwoo.

And yet, he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to you. He needs to explore his feelings. At least to understand them. Even if it costs him.

“How about a drink?” He asks as the sun is about to go down.

“No, you need to drive safely.” You flinched, clearly against the idea of losing him in such a stupid way.

“What about my place? You know I have this amazing balcony overlooking the sea.” He offers in return with a smirk.

“Deal,” you say with gleaming eyes.

You love Juyeon’s apartment; it has a soft and romantic atmosphere and it’s even more beautiful when the sun goes down. The many plants he has turn a warm orange with the colours of the sky and you swear, it’s so beautiful, like a haven of peace.

“Red or white?” He asks, holding the two bottles out for you.

“Anything’s fine, choose for me please Juyo,” you sing-song, happy to share this moment with him.

While you are setting up his balcony table with candles and wine glasses, he returns with a red bottle and appetisers. He gestures for you to sit on the bean bag and pour the wine like a real chef. You whistle, impressed by his newfound skill. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be Juyeon if he didn’t do a little dance to make you laugh before handing you your glass.

Now that he’s seated, you allow yourself to take in your surroundings. It’s quiet, but you can hear the faint music coming from the living room speakers. Juyeon has never liked the silence, so he always needs to have some kind of background music to feel comfortable. He says it calms him down, especially when he’s nervous, and you have to agree with that.

But does that mean that he was nervous right now?

He never needed music with you, as he always said your voice was his own melody – the harmony he couldn’t get enough of. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling you out of your reverie.

You nod, knowing exactly what he means, and reach out to take his hand. He intertwines your fingers and, in the pink-orange hues of the sky you catch yourself blushing. You risk a glance to see him starring absent-mindedly into space and you seize the opportunity to stare him down.

His bangs, usually on his forehead are pushed back, giving him a more mature and sexy look. His eyes, in a beautiful crescent shape, shine with the intensity of the stars. His pretty nose sits up on his face, like a trophy ready to be claimed. And his lips. They’re curled into a gentle smile.

Without a care in the world, he runs his tongue over them and opens them as if he wanted to speak. But no sound comes out, except for the tongue he’s now biting. Suddenly, as if he was aware that you are looking at him, he turns to meet your gaze. Truth be told, you weren’t very discreet. His dark eyes hold yours, then move to your lips, and you see the faint beginnings of a smirk on his lips before he bursts into laughter. 

“Like what you see?” He points out, all smug.

That fucker.

You slapped him playfully before you realised you were biting your lips. Yet, he still looks at you as if you were the one who hung the stars in the sky and shone in their place.

All of a sudden, his eyes turn mischievous and you find yourself in his arms as he leads you into the living room. He turns up the music, grabs the camera, puts on a pair of framed glasses and starts dancing. You joined him, because there is no world in which you wouldn’t follow Juyeon. You dance like you’re in a club, grab the wine bottle and shout the lyrics at the top of your lungs. Juyeon films you through the mirror and you play along, you’re the model, he’s the artist. Until he puts the camera in a corner to film the both of you and starts to dance an old choreo that you both did. You smile broadly and the night goes by like this. In between drinking and dancing.

At some point, you find yourselves taking a stroll, jumping and dancing around poles. Oh, but you’re not drunk! Juyeon took out his camera and kept filming you, laughing. The man was hyping you up, the street was your runway! And even though it was a little embarrassing, you had a lot of fun. Trust Juyeon to make you feel the best!

Around midnight, you were eating ice cream in the nearest park when your phone screen lit up with a call.

Woo ☼.

Oh, no. You forgot to inform him you were going out with yesterday’s activities.

“Babyyyyy,” he whines, sounding tired, “where you aaaat.”

“At Juyeon’s, we-“ You’re cut off as Juyeon steals your phone, brushing against your hands a little too long.

“Sorry,” he hiccups, “is it all right if we keep each other company for the night? I can’t drive right now.” Juyeon tries to apologise but is cut short by Sunwoo.

“Had a fun night I see?”

You can feel his anger rising from the way his voice drops an octave. Sunwoo has always been jealous of Juyeon. When you got together, he was very insecure at first, knowing that you had a male best friend and seeing you spend so much time with him. It took some time, but the trust you’ve built up has overcome that awful feeling.

You still have to reassure him sometimes, and that’s okay because Juyeon is your best friend and Sunwoo is your boyfriend. You love them both in different ways. You talked about it with Juyeon and later he got jealous because you spent all your time with Sunwoo on your trip to comfort him. It wasn’t easy, but they learnt to trust you. Along the way, you may have convinced yourself that everything would be fine.

“Sunny, baby, I’m sorry I didn’t inform you. I will sleep at Juyeon’s and be back first thing in the morning before you wake up,” you say in a soft voice, trying to soothe him.

“I’m sorry too,” he voices out, letting out a breath lost in his own emotions, “I panicked when I didn’t see you at home. But I’m glad you’re all right.”

“I know,” you sighed, glancing at Juyeon, “I’m in good hands, I promise.”

“Hurry back, I miss my goodnight kiss already.” He replies, seemingly content with the current arrangement.

“Will be there in no time,” you giggled.

“I love you,” he answers, a smile blooming in his voice.

“I love you too.”

He hangs up just as he called, smiley, which makes you beam in return. However, when you turn to face Juyeon he’s anything but smiling. In his frowning eyes you decipher a sombre mood. Something in complete contrast to the joy you shared tonight. You reach out to grab his hand, but he pulls it back before you can do so.

“We should head back, it’s getting late.” He says firmly.

Your heart breaks at his words. Without giving him a chance, you cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. The hurt look in his eyes makes your heart swell. You scan him to see if he wants to answer, but he avoids you. You’re so close and yet so far away. You feel like throwing up, because your best friend never acted like this around you. He never once avoided you nor stopped talking to you. Thus, you did the only thing you can think of.

You hugged him, as tightly as you can.

You feel his heart pounding and wonder if it’s from the unknown emotions he’s carrying or from your physical touch. You put your hand on his broad chest to feel his heartbeat and plant a kiss on it to reassure him. It stirs something in Juyeon and he hugs you back so tightly you think you’ll lose your breath. He holds you in his arms for what seems like an eternity, your head nestled in the crook of his neck. But you don’t complain, you felt safe.

You stay there, in the warm embrace that contrasts with the cool of the night, squeezing him a little tighter when you hear passers-by whistling lovingly at you. When he lets go, you can see the faint pink colour that tints his cheeks, brought out by the street lights. But little did you know that you have the same colours on your face, if not stronger?

“You okay?” You ask as you rub small circles on his back.

“Yes I am,” he lies openly in a husky voice, “I’m okay.”

Juyeon is fucked. Completely screwed. He’s absolutely, unquestionably and sincerely in love with you.

He has been for quite some time, now that he thinks about it. But he never admitted it. That damned twist in his gut that never left his mind, he knows where it comes from now.

In order to cope with his newfound feelings he lets you use the bathroom first while he changes the sheets and tidies up the living room. He’s floating, not sure if he will ever get a wink of sleep. Especially if you both sleep in the same bed. Because to you, he’s just your best friend, the one you’ve slept with countless times. No strings attached.

He can’t imagine you in his arms, nor can he look forward to waking up by your side. You’re not his.

“Juyo?” Your tired voice echoes from the corridor. “C-Can I get some clothes?”

Oh. That doesn’t mean anything. You have always shared clothes. Then why was he so excited to see you in them? Right, because he’s madly in love with you and knows you will look ravishing in his big shirt. Also because sharing clothes is such an intimate thing couples do. If he lends you his current pyjamas because they have his scent on them, you couldn’t blame him. He’s just a man.

“Are you coming?” You inquire, walking towards him.

It’s worse than anything he’d ever imagined. The shirt is definitely too big for you going down one shoulder, showing the beginning of your chest and reaching halfway up your thighs. What’s more, your pretty thighs are covered by the shorts that rises up when you sit next to him. He looks away, embarrassed to be staring at you.

“I will sleep on the couch, don’t worry about me.”

“No way,” you retorted with little energy left, “your bed is big enough for both of us.”

He’s been acting strange today. First he was feeling all overconfident, then flirtatious, followed by anger, and now shyness and embarrassment. You take a piece of the blanket lying on his lap and you stretch your legs out on the sofa, letting your head fall on his shoulder. Sleep can wait, Juyeon can’t.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Don’t lie to me.” You ask, breathing softly into his ear.

“No,” he shudders, with a faraway look in his eyes, “I’m not okay and I don’t know how to get through this.”

“What’s wrong Juyo? Do you want to talk about it?” You pause to gauge his reaction. “Is it about your ex?”

“More or less,” he breathes out. “The breakup wasn’t that bad, like I said, it was a mutual decision. It’s just- when you started dating Sunwoo I was so happy for you, happy that you found someone who was worthy of your love and loved you the right way. And I thought I would be happy if I found that special someone, I longed for it. But I ended up in different relationships throughout the year, never lasting more than two months. And that’s ok, maybe they weren’t the right person for me, maybe it wasn’t the right time, maybe this, maybe that. I really thought I was going to be happy and I ended up getting my heart broken every time. As much as I believe now that I don’t deserve to be loved. I think I went into my last relationship in that state of mind, and I think she felt it too. Hard not to, is it? We had long talks and great times together; I think I really liked her. And I know she liked me back, I’m just not ready to be in an exclusive relationship right now.”

And everything he said is true, he’s more than happy for you and he thought he would be happy. But he can’t be happy in a relationship that isn’t with you.

“There’s also something I’ve never told you,” he continues, sniggering at the absurdity of his reasoning. “Something I should have told you a long time ago, it doesn’t make me proud, and it sort of reflects why my love life was so messed up. I can’t say it’s the only reason, but it played a big part in my mental health.”

You want to cry so badly, he has endured it all alone and it must have weighed heavily on him. At this point, you’re just waiting to speak and respond but every word that comes out of his beautiful mouth leaves you speechless. You’re such a bad friend that you’ve never noticed the way his eyes get dark and gloomy, or how he cancels your plans at the last minute because he’s got something else planned. When in fact it was sadness overload. Sure everyone has their own coping mechanisms, you wish you could have been there for him, but here you were Juyeon letting you in and you’re here to stay.

“It’s been two months since I was diagnosed with burnout and stopped working. It started off as something mild when I came home more exhausted than usual. I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep but then I started to feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. It was hard to concentrate on my daily tasks and you know how much I love my job? I felt like I was going to die because I couldn’t even have fun doing what I love. Going out with you, my friends or my ex felt great, but I wasn’t as invested as I used to be.” He pauses to catch his breath and swallow back the tears.

“Don’t get me wrong, today was absolutely perfect and I was hyped, I still am. Today felt like going back to when we were sixteen and I loved it. I’m actually starting to feel better. The break up helped a lot because it was taking a toll on my mental health. I know I said I liked her and I did, but I couldn’t help but feel unwanted. Even when she was riding me,” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.

“And it hurts that I didn’t have the guts to talk to you about it because I was afraid of how you would react. Like, hello, I’m taking a break from work because I feel like shit? And I would really like to get your approval so that I can move on. Because you mean everything to me,” he ends shyly.

“Juyeon,” you say in a soft and caring voice, “you mean the world to me too.”

You continued. “You mean the whole world to me and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I could come up with something, but it wouldn’t make up for what you’ve been through. You are strong, stronger than anyone. It’s so hard to keep your head above water that I’m proud of you for speaking up and even stopping work. Because focusing on your health is the most important thing. Situation and money may go but I will always stay. I’m so proud of you, proud of who you are and who you’re becoming. You’ll never stop growing and I’ll be there every step of the way, watching you blossom and be happy.”

“And I know you feel like you’ll never be happy,” you resumed, holding his hand. “The only thing I can say is, as hard as it seems, everything you live makes you stronger. Even more beautiful. There’s someone in this world waiting patiently for you, to love you properly, to make you feel loved and wanted. You’re an exceptional person, Juyeon. By that I mean you go above and beyond the call of duty, you give your total support and care, you show up when something’s wrong and I bet you’re an even more protective lover. We did everything together, cried, laughed, smiled, loved. My youth was filled with you and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t happy because you were and are always by my side.”

“Today was the best time I’ve had in weeks, and that’s because I am with you. We danced, a lot. And you know how dancing has always been our escape,” you paused as you saw the first hint of a smile creep across his face as you continued. “I saw your smile, it was genuine and you were so beautiful. It may have been hard, you’ve been hard on yourself, but today the man I saw was happy. I’m happy because you’re happy, and I’m sad when you’re sad. We are one Juyeon, and I want you to know that I’m here for you, always.”

Long before you have finished speaking, he has taken you in his arms. His embrace is not heavy, but you can feel the weight on his shoulders lighten. You have so many feelings for him, they all blend together and you don’t seem to feel the butterflies in your stomach or the fire he has lit in your heart.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he confesses.

“And what would I be without you?”

Your head rests on his chest and he’s suddenly afraid you can hear his heart beating. You’re so beautiful, your tired eyes fighting sleep and your lashes fluttering. His shirt slipped off your shoulder as he held you in his arms and the permanent smile on your face makes him completely weak. He could kiss you right now. If only you were single.

“Let’s go to sleep, hm?” He caresses your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Together?” You cracked yet another smile.

“Together,” he grins from ear to ear.

Your arms find their way around his neck and you bend your head to make an implicit request. His hands go around your waist and below your knees before he stands up and carries you bridal style. You both laugh at the absurdity of the situation, but also blushed at the romantic gesture. He sets you down on (what his brain calls) your side of the bed and plants a kiss on your forehead.

He then goes through his nightly routine before coming back to you, wrapped in the covers, fast asleep. His heart is about to explode. Now that he is aware of his feelings, he is overwhelmed by the love he has been repressing. He slides in next to you and holds back from embracing you. And if you happen to get close and make your way into his arms, he’ll be delighted to hold you tight.

“Sleep well Starlight, I love you,” he mumbles, kissing your hair.

“I love you more Juyo.”

Waking up the next morning wasn’t as awkward as Juyeon might have thought after the pseudo-confession you heard. He woke up first when he felt you shift in his arms. Because yes, you ended up in his arms, face against his torso. He tried not to make a big deal out of it, calming his breathing and enjoying the warmth of your body. Absentmindedly, his hand caresses your tangled hair, smoothing it and slowly waking you from your slumber.

“Good morning Starlight,” he says, honey dripping from his hoarse voice. “Slept well?”

“Like a baby, you?” You yawned, looking up from his chest.

“Even better than a baby.” He doesn’t want to let you go, once you’re out of his bedroom he’ll have to go back to his little miserable life without your starlight to light it up.

“Shall we take you home? Your boyfriend might get impatient,” he laughs, remembering the events of the previous night.

“Well, he’ll have to wait until I’m full from breakfast! I know someone who makes pancakes to die for,” you winked as you get out of his clothes and disappear into the bathroom.

You know you said you’d be back before he wakes up, and you want to. You miss him. But being in Juyeon’s arms, feeling the regular beat of his heart, makes you feel at home. You don’t want to end what you both have now.

You eat breakfast in relatively silence, except when Juyeon tries to flip the pancakes in the frying pan only to have one stick to the wall. And you watch him adoringly from where you sit, trying to make up for his silliness.

In the end, you leave his apartment in no time at all, dreading your return to your own home. Even though you know that Sunwoo is patiently waiting for you. The last two days you spent with Juyeon were out of time, it was an enchanted interlude and the return to real life suddenly seems very difficult.

He drops you off in front of the building, not without kissing you on the cheek and saying goodbye for the last time. You try not to think of it as a date night as you head for the front door but he’s quick to say “We’re not done yet, you’ll see me more often now” he chimed as he watches you smile and gets in.

The smile doesn’t leave your face until you turn the key in the lock and come face to face with Sunwoo, smiling from head to toe. He takes you in his arms and spins you around before planting kisses all over your face.

“Sunny,” you giggled, “please.”

“But I missed you,” you press a kiss to his lips as he answers, and you feel him smile through it.

“I’m sorry I overreacted, you know I get scared easily, but I shouldn’t take it out on you when you haven’t done anything,” he apologised, bowing his head.

“No, it’s my fault too,” you shake your head. “We had a crazy night and when I woke up you were gone. I was also late and didn’t want to keep him waiting.”

“You know that I’m jealous of Juyeon, right? He might be your best friend, but he might see you as more than that. You can’t say you didn’t want him to wait, because what, you’re willing to make me wait like yesterday but not him? It’s unfair, because you always end up prioritising him.” He bellows, frustrated.

“Sunwoo please,” you begged. “Sunwoo, listen to me, please.” He takes a step back, feeling his anger rising.

“To say what? That you needed to be with him? That he needs you? Bullshit, look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t have feelings for you!” He shouts in a pissed off rage.

He goes back into the living room and you follow him to see him pacing back and forth. You can tell he’s furious. He always gets angry when you mention Juyeon and it pisses you off. You can’t even spend a day with your best friend because he gets jealous? You’ve been together long enough to think he’s finally understood that he’s the one you love. But as displeased as you are, you’ll never stop telling him and reminding him that you love him. Because couples fight, because he’s insecure and because you care.

“You might as well develop feelings for him!” He spits vociferously.

“He broke up with his girlfriend and lost his job,” you drop, tired of this pointless battle. “So yes, he needed me. And yes, I needed to be with him. I feel like an absolutely shitty friend because I’ve been sitting in his company for weeks and I didn’t even notice that his heart was being broken to pieces. You can shout at me as much as you want Sunwoo, but you’re the one I love. Juyeon may need me again in the future and I’ll be there for him, but at the end of the day I love you and only you.”

“You’re lying. T-There’s no way he…“ He tries to take your hand but you step back, annoyed.

“Have I ever lie to you, Sunwoo?”

The sheepish and upset look on his face is enough to tell you that he’s blaming himself. So you lead him over to the sofa and tell him everything, from the break-up to his exhaustion, which means burnout, but leave out the private details. It’s a lot to take in, and you wonder if he’ll ever believe you. Why would you lie about something so important?

You love Sunwoo, you really do. But you can’t help but be a little irritated by his behaviour. You feel terrible for even thinking and feeling this way, but Juyeon is your best friend! What was wrong with that? What doesn’t he understand about the word “best friend”? You sighed as you take him in your arms and stroke his back, both to calm him down and to ease your own mind. You hold each other for a while, for as long as your hearts desire, but your minds wander to Juyeon. You miss him and you wonder what he’s up to, when you’ll see each other again. Another sigh escapes your lips and Sunwoo looks at you questioningly.

“Movie?” You ask, trying to divert your attention from Juyeon.

“It’s 11,” he chuckles, finally at peace.

“Yeah, so? We can order pizzas and spend the day at home?” You kiss his hand with doe eyes.

“Sounds like a fabulous idea,” he quickly grabs his phone to place an order, “same as usual?”

“I’m feeling adventurous today, so pick whatever you like!”

You hear your own phone buzzing as he focuses on the app again. And obviously it’s the boy of all the arguments, the one who’s been on your mind since you got home and who seems to be distracting you a lot.

Juyo <3 (1)

I miss ya, whatcha doing?

Thinking about u

That ain’t possible

Whyyyy

Because I’m thinking about you

“Who are you talking to with that smiley face?” Sunwoo asks, tilting his head.

“Changmin, he’s talking about the person he met and he seems so in love.”

It's a half-hearted lie, because Changmin told you about the person he recently met, but also because if you say Juyeon's name right now, civil war will break out.

Juyo <3

Oh yeah, prove it?

Seconds later, your phone rings with an incoming call from Juyeon.

Juyo <3

JUYEON YOU CAN’T DO THIS

YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

Aw pretty’s scared by a sudden phone call?

Actually…

You take a second to answer, pondering if it’s a good idea to tell him about your couple’s conflict. Especially when he’s the one causing it.

Juyo <3 (1)

Am I disturbing you?

You always turn my world upside down

Same goes for you Starlight ;)

So?

I had a fight with Sunwoo

Nothing bad, we already made up

But it’s becoming a recurring thing, and I hate it

Have you talked about it?

That it’s getting hard for you?

Yes and no

We always talk about it, set limits and make up but weeks later it’s as if the conversation never happened

As much as I love him I’m tired Ju

No, you don’t have the right to say you’re tired, because that would mean you’re ready to give up on your relationship for a few fights?

I’m afraid that’s not a valid reason

And I know you’re not the type to give up on someone you love

So take matters into your own hands, spend the day with him and make out ffs

Yeah, haha, you’re right

We’ll eat pizzas and watch a film, that’ll definitely help

And I’ll see if he’s nice enough to make out with him

I can be good for you instead ;)

Yah! You’re losing points Lee Juyeon!

I’m only aiming for the 10s sorry!

Right in the bull’s eye

Which is my heart yes

GTG JUYO

TTYL I LOVE YOU

<3

And I love you more <3

You saw his message through the notification, which you cowardly rejected, but that didn’t stop you from smiling. The conversation had to end quickly, as you were venturing into uncharted territory that doesn't leave you impassive. Besides, Sunwoo was getting suspicious of your big smile.

And he’s right, because what the hell was that? You’re such a coward whose heart beats a hundred miles an hour. He’s definitely winning points, but you’ll never admit it, and to what end? Your heart doesn’t know yet.

On the contrary, Juyeon’s heart beats wildly at your bravery. He doesn’t want to flirt despite his growing feelings, but you leave the door open too wide for him not to come in.

You’re still his best friend, so if you ever need advice or a listening ear, he’ll be there. Like that horrible joke about making out, he hated it. But he knew that it would make you laugh and feel better, because he knows you better than anyone else.

So why can’t he read your feelings? You're not usually so cryptic for no reason, he's sure of that. Yet the changes in your heart can be seen gradually: your sweet words, as well as the ambiguous ones, all carry a special and deep meaning. You’re a book Juyeon is dying to read, but you’re not descriptive enough for him to decipher just yet.

Sunwoo used to read you easily, but he’s not sure of anything anymore. He knows that you love him, that your love language consists of words of affirmation and that you never stop reminding him of it. And yet his insecurities always get the best of him and you end up fighting. The truth is, he’s afraid. You’ve always spent a lot of time with Juyeon and that’s fair, you’ve known each other for almost ten years. But shouldn’t you make up for that time with your one-year boyfriend?

He knows he can’t restrict you or your outings, that would be a dick move and he’s not a dick. You have lots of boy friends and he’s okay with that, but Juyeon? Juyeon annoys him. He seems too perfect to be true:  his looks, his gentle and romantic nature. He’s in a one-sided competition because Juyeon couldn’t care less. Or so he thought until now.

Halfway through the film, you're cuddled up in his arms, laughing, when his phone vibrates. Why on earth is Juyeon texting him?

Juyeon (1)

I just wanted to apologise for yesterday. This is not a valid reason, but I wanted to keep my best friend to myself for a while. I’m sorry if that hurt you.

Apology accepted. We’re adults and you’re defo not the one to blame but I appreciate it.

Thanks man

It cost Juyeon a lot to send that message. But in his place, he would have been furious if the situation had happened to him. So he toned it down, to ease the tension and make you feel better. But he’d do it again any time; anything to spend time with you.

And that’s exactly what happened in the weeks that followed.

You spent the whole week with Sunwoo after your meeting with Juyeon, going with him to his band rehearsals, shopping for clothes, accessories or window shopping, going on dates to the cinema, the park and restaurants. You did everything with him.

But that didn’t stop you from texting Juyeon every day. Sometimes he was the one who initiated the conversation, and other times you had to spam him to ask his opinion on the latest clothes you bought or because you missed him. Your weekly outings have also become two or three times a week, and you often meet up on his balcony for a night of dancing and drinks.

Everything is done with respect for your relationship, but you feel his hands on you longer than necessary, always within limits and sometimes in places that make you blush. For an example, he would place them on your hips, and you would be a fool to say that his little touches did not make your heart flutter. When he opens the door for you, when he orders for you without asking and never makes a mistake, or even when he gives you presents that you’ve looked at with envy. He’s so observant and attentive that causes butterflies in your stomach. The more time you spend with him, the more you can’t deny the attraction you feel.

He makes you feel like you are 16 again.

He kisses your forehead, cheek or hand when he drops you off. He holds your hand so you don’t get lost in the crowd. Even if it’s just an excuse, you let him because deep down you want him to.

And you hated yourself for it. You feel so guilty about Sunwoo. Yes, Juyeon may be a little more enterprising than usual, but he hasn’t changed his ways. You’re the one who reacts to harmless words and lazy touches. But your heart hasn’t changed. You love Sunwoo. Those feelings for Juyeon aren’t real. It is an attraction that arises because you spend all your time together, because he’s handsome and cares for you.

You’re not… in love with him.

Isn’t that right?

“Sweetheart, I bought fried chicken on the way home!” Sunwoo says one day after his rehearsal.

“Oh Sunny, you don’t know how much I’ve been craving it,” you clap, looking forward to devouring it. “Thank you.”

“Can I get a hug for being the most awesome boyfriend ever?” He asks sweetly.

“Oh you do,” you giggle, jumping into his arms.

“I love you,” he kisses your nose.

“Me too,” you reply, tiptoeing to kiss his forehead.

“Sunnyyyy,” you call out his name on a Friday afternoon. “Can I go out for the night with Kev, Minnie, Chani and Ju?”

“Sure! Don’t come back too late hm? And be careful.”

“Yes! I’ve got the four horsemen of the apocalypse to look after me and myself!” You laughed.

“Have fun Sweetheart, I love you,” he whispers, kissing your forehead.

“Me toooo Sunny,” you smiled.

And yet, as he does his best to be there for you, to shower you with love and care, you notice that your interactions are gradually diminishing. He’s not the problem but you are. Just like yesterday, you’ve been exchanging messages and at the end of all your conversations you have this cute habit of saying I love you. Except this time, you haven’t replied. You liked his message and replied with a heart.

But that’s not the only case, because you catch yourself not saying “I love you” back when you talk to him. Yet you’re still physically and intimately close. It’s as if you’re giving yourself to him in order to compensate for the emotional changes that you’re going through. And then what? You won’t even be able to kiss him? Hold his hand? Be intimate? You felt terrible, and this has been going on for months.

Perhaps the best (or worst) thing to do is to talk to him about it.

“Sunny? Can we talk?” You say out of the blue one morning.

“Yes baby, tell me?” He replies as he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless.

“Get dressed first,” you giggle.

“Why, don’t you like what you see?” He pouts, crossing his arms to emphasise his torso and you look away, ashamed to be turned on when you’re about to break his heart.

“Oh I do, but you’re distracting me from the point!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs as he pulls on a t-shirt, “is it better now?”

“Yes, thank you,” you sigh.

“Are you okay?” He asks suddenly, sensing your discomfort. “You know you can tell me anything, I’m here for you.”

“Sunwoo, I-“ you take his hand in yours for support. “You need to know that I love you, it has never changed and it will never change, the feelings I have for you are very much real and I cherish them as much as I cherish you.”

“You’re not breaking up, are you? Because I won’t let you.” His eyes are shining now and you want to go back in time. You want to erase everything that has happened in the last two and a half months, the growing romantic feelings and the hurt.

“Sunwoo, I’m not breaking up with you, you’re the person I care about the most in the world, I would never let you down. And I hate myself for what I’m about to say.” You take a deep breath and as you do you know he’s figured it out and tears start to roll down his sweet face.

“I- fell in love with Juyeon,” you drop your head in shame.

You don't have the courage to look up and see the disappointment on his face, but you force yourself to. And when you finally did, his reaction catches you by surprise. It was obviously pain and sorrow, but also resilience?

“May I ask, how?” His voice is low, almost a murmur, but his eyes search yours for the truth.

“I- don’t know, it just happened.”

“Come on, you don’t just fall in love with another man by accident,” he laughs sarcastically.

“And yet I did!” You raise your voice in annoyance. “I didn’t choose it Sunwoo. And I would go back in time if I could!”

He takes a minute to consider your words, to decide whether or not you’re telling the truth. You didn’t expect this conversation to be easy, but he doesn’t make it any easier for you. You expected him to be in denial, to yell at you and cry. Instead he went straight towards the acceptance stage and he had this heartless look on his face. You knew you deserved it because he’s right; you don’t fall in love with another man by chance.

“Does he know? That you-“ he struggles to find the words, but you let him, because it has been hard for you too. You’re in love with your best friend, and you’ve probably been in love with him since you were 16. “That you love him?”

“No, oh god no!” You panic, finally thinking of the consequences, “I wanted to tell you first because I love you and I owe you the truth.”

“But you intend to tell him?” He worries and suddenly you feel like you’re talking to your best friend, the same conversation you had before you started dating Sunwoo.

“No Sunwoo, it was never a question of telling him or not. Yes, I love Juyeon romantically, but you’re my boyfriend. And I’m not trying to fool myself by saying that I still love you, I love you. And I love Juyeon too, but I’m not going to do anything with it.”

“You’re silly,” he chuckles affectionately. “Within the two months since our fight, I’ve watched you for a long time baby. I observed your body movements, your facial expressions and your words, hoping that it was all temporary and that we’d come out of it stronger together. But all I saw was love, but towards someone else. You came home giddy, eyes full of stars. Sometimes even in a frenzy of exaltation from which I found it hard to pull you out, because knowing that you were happy made me happy. So I won’t say that I knew it, but I sensed it. And I know that you love me, I have never doubted it and I don’t doubt it now. But you love him silly. Perhaps even more than you love me. I’m not mad at you, I saw you falling for him, I just ignored the signs. And I know you didn’t choose it, nor did you want to break my heart. Your love for him is stronger and I can hear it. Thank you for telling me, it must have cost you a lot.”

You start to cry, because what else can you do but cry? You love him and it hurts you to hear him say that you love someone stronger. But he’s right. No matter how much you try to deny it, you love Juyeon unconditionally.

“Why,” you cry out.

“Why what baby,” he takes you in his arms, guiding your head in the crook of his neck and your tears start to soak his t-shirt.

“I’m pretty sure I broke your heart and stomped on it, so why aren’t you mad at me? Why are you taking it so well? I don’t understand. I feel like shit and you’re too perfect?”

“You have no idea of the pain, anger and emptiness I feel right now, I’m far from perfect,” his voice falters as he tries to hold back his tears, “but I can’t take it out on you, even though you deserve it, because you didn’t want it? Also because I didn’t speak when I realised you were drifting away. I know you blame yourself, and yes, I am heartbroken, I can’t wait to cry but I don’t want to make you sadder than you already are.”

“I don’t deserve you Sunny, I’m sorry, I love you to the moon and back,” you smile shyly.

“And I love you just as much, thank you for the love that doesn’t make me feel lonely,” he smiles back as he rubs your back in slow motions. “Can I kiss you? One last time?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

When his lips touch yours, it has never felt better. The kiss is a little salty because you have both been crying, but also sweet. It is your last kiss and you devour each other’s lips as if it were the first, not wanting to part. You quickly run out of air, but he presses his lips to yours to convey his feelings one last time and you smile, knowingly, as you kiss him back.

“You should go to him,” he says, lips swollen and eyes puffy.

“Yes, to be with my best friend. And you should call Eric for the same reason,” you sobbed, and he giggles.

“Coward,” he laughs, “but I will.”

“And Sunwoo,” you start again. “I would never do anything without your approval.”

“Thank you,” he replies, touched and aware of the feelings you will always have for him. “For everything, but especially for being with me.”

“I should be the one thanking you, my lifesaver,” you kissed his cheek as you take his hand in yours. “Let’s remain good friends, in the future.”

“Absolutely, if I ever get over you,” he laughs in a reassuring way.

You know that the joke is just his way of breaking the tension, so you laugh it off, saying that he should, and you imitated a knife at your throat as a warning, which makes him laugh heartily. Then, your heart sinks at the sound of you no longer being the recipient. Yes you fell in love with someone else, and it will be just as hard to get over him. But you have Juyeon, and he’s your rock.

Juyo <3

Juyo can I come over?

Sure, is something wrong?

These three words are enough to turn your heart upside down. He’s always been thoughtful, and now that you’ve accepted your feelings, you feel butterflies swirling in your tummy.

Juyo <3

Sunwoo and I broke up

I’ll pick you up in 5

Yes pls, drive safely

He pulls up in the parking lot exactly 5 minutes after his message, just like he said. You rush down the stairs, too eager to melt into his arms to wait for the lift. He doesn’t have time to get out of the car before you throw yourself on him, crying. Tears of separation and heartbreak, and tears of joy when you see him again because you know you love him.

“I’m here,” he whispers in a panicked voice, probably not expecting you so soon and in such a state. “I’m right here, let it out.”

And you do, the feelings you’ve been burying for 2 months are just waiting to be expressed. You cry until your body aches from lack of air and your eyes are dry. Finally, you shiver and regret having gone out so quickly without covering up. But Juyeon is just as quick to pull the jacket he was wearing over your shoulders and you hum happily as his scent washes over you.

“Let’s go home?” He caresses your hair tenderly.

You’re amazed that he doesn’t ask any questions, he just stands by you and supports you through this difficult ordeal that he knows only too well. And the truth is, he’s even sad for you. No matter how much he loves you, you’re the definition of love to him. For you to break up with Sunwoo, for whatever reason, doesn’t make any sense. It’s not his place to ask if you don’t tell him first, so he just holds your hand on the way back, and when he has to let go to change gear, he makes sure he puts it back on your thigh.

This makes you blush like a tomato, how dare he put his big hand on your thigh, almost completely covering it whole. You’re pretty sure your feelings are written all over your face, but he mistakes your blushing for embarrassment, when in fact it’s just romantic stimulation. You look up to see if his hand placement has any effect on him, only to find that he is blushing as well. Being as dense as he is, you mistook his shyness for embarrassment.

You two definitely make quite the pair.

“Make yourself at home Starlight,” he says as he opens the front door, never stopping to hold your hand.

You step inside as he tells you to and try to take off your shoes, planning to curl up on the sofa under the blanket while you wait for him and his hugs. But he had other ideas as he grabs your wrist to pull you closer, pinning you between him and the newly closed front door. Your surprise translates into a gasp that becomes a choke as he drops to one knee. Your heart pounds in your chest at the way he looks at you, worshipping you. Without warning, he bends down to untie your shoelaces, still smiling and even a little mischievous.

“What?” He smiles proudly. “Can’t I look after my Starlight?”

You open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out, too surprised by his playful tone.

“Cat got your tongue?” He sticks out his tongue as he stands up.

“Yes, you got it!” You slap him gently as a reward for nervousness.

“Not in my mouth though…” He whispers so quietly you almost don’t hear it, and that earns him another slap, only he steps back to avoid your blow and you stumble and fall on top of him.

“I guess it will be easier to carry you now,” he chuckles, kissing your forehead.

He puts his arms under your knees and around your waist and you squeal as he lifts you up, bridal style. This man will be the death of you. Oh, how you would kiss him if you weren’t so heartbroken and hadn’t just broken up. And he would kiss you just as much. You’re both madly in love and it shows.

He wraps you in a blanket as he lays you down on the sofa before kissing your forehead for the umpteenth time. Then he goes into the kitchen and fetches your favourite foods, drinks and desserts, which he sets out on the coffee table. You were surprised by the homemade dishes, as if he’d made them with a special purpose in mind. But he doesn’t say a word or make a comment, he just slips under your blanket when he’s done and hugs you, breathing in your scent.

You stay in each other’s arms for a while, not saying a word, just enjoying your hearts beating in unison. It feels heavenly, relaxing and you can almost feel yourself coming back to life. If Sunwoo was your lifesaver, Juyeon is your guardian angel. He is always looking out for you and giving you his utmost special care, just like right now, for no particular reason (even if there is one now).

He doesn’t pry, he just waits for you to speak while he grabs the remote to put on the latest show you’ve started together and feeds you. You’re quite grateful for the little comments he makes during the show, distracting you from the truth: the burning love you have for him that consumes you. In the end, you tell him that you still love Sunwoo, but that your recent incessant arguments have taken their toll on you.

That, against all odds, you’ve spilt up properly. And that it will be a while before you move on, but that the door is not closed. You made sure to emphasise this part, because what if there’s a small chance that Sunwoo was right and Juyeon is a fool in love with you? You’re not ready yet, but when the time comes, you want to confess your love to him and live out the childhood romance you’ve always dreamed of, until death do you part.

The next few of weeks passed in a blur, and you have basically settled into Juyeon’s apartment – going back and forth to your house to pick up your things and put them in his closets. Your shoes sits nicely in the new shoe rack he bought for you to go out together, and your toothbrush sits proudly next to Juyeon’s. You even have matching ones. Oh, and Juyeon can finally happily say that you’ve got your side of the bed, with your cute belongings on the bedside table and a picture of the two of you at 16 in a frame.

In fact, you slowly become a domestic couple-like going grocery shopping together and going on so-called dates. Life with Juyeon is easy. Whether you go out at dawn or dusk, he’s always with you, matching your pace and holding your hand from the streetlights to the dancing starlight. When you saw your hands touching and your steps overlapping, it reminds you of your first encounter and the fluttering of your heart. How you shyly looked at him, only to see him already looking at you lovingly, red on his cheeks. That cold winter you spent together was actually the warmest moment of Juyeon’s life, and that day might have been the day you hid a present for each other in your sleeve.

Even more slowly, your relationship with Juyeon develops as the months go by. It was hard not for it to blossom, considering the fact that you live together and that you absolutely do everything together, but it’s happening. Juyeon has started to walk around bare chest when he gets out of the shower and sometimes! He even goes to bed naked, with just his pyjama pants hanging low on his hips.

Of course, you get to snuggle up against his warm chest and cuddle to sleep. When it comes to sleeping, you don’t even try to fall asleep on your own side of the bed anymore because you always wake up in each other’s arms. You have definitely grown closer and closer in just a few months.

Your touches with one another have become more sensual and romantic and your words more flirtatious. You wear his clothes more often than usual, sometimes getting out of bed in just his t-shirt and underwear, awakening certain feelings within him. From time to time, he dares to put his hands under your (his) t-shirt and kiss your forehead tenderly, for lack of being able to kiss your lips sensually and make you his, right when you wake up.

“All pretty for me hm?” He said the first time you went to sleep in this garment. “You know I’m just a man.”

And if you sat on his hips to cuddle him afterwards, maybe the message got through. Maybe a little too much, given that a few minutes later he pretended to be in a hurry and the water ran for a long time. He’s just a man.

Yes, your man.

Another time, when you were out shopping at the mall, people addressed you as a couple and you didn’t mind, oh no. Perhaps it was the smiley eye contact you made, or the way he held you in his arms and you leaned into him, almost as if you were going to kiss, that gave it away. At least, that’s what gave Sunwoo, who was watching you nearby, the courage to send you a message.

Woo ☼ (1)

Hi, hello! I saw you at the mall with Juyeon, can we talk? I’m with Changmin, we can ditch them together?

Hi Sunny!!! Sure we can, the cafe nearby?

Juyeon was a little reluctant to leave you alone with Sunwoo due to the countless nights you spent crying and the difficulty you had opening up (not to mention your blossoming love for Juyeon) but he quickly gave up because he knew you wanted it and he was happy to spend time with Changmin. Juyeon is the love of your life and you can’t pretend that he isn’t anymore.

“Hi Sweetheart, I saw you left your shopping bags with your man,” he laughs and you kick him under the table so as not to draw attention to yourself.

“Stop that Kim Sunwoo!” You whine.

“Stop what? Calling you sweetheart or calling him your man?”

“Both!” You laugh embarrassed and shy.

“How are you?” He changes the subject after one last laugh and you’re happy to see that he hasn’t changed, he’s still as playful and lively as ever.

“I’m fine, nothing has really changed since our last messages. I told you I got my dream job, so Juyeon and I are treating ourselves with my first salary. Oh, and Juyeon has also found a new job he’s really enjoying. Hence, the reason why we’re out shopping.” You went on to rave about your everyday life, happy to share this new chapter with him, whom you still love very much, just not romantically anymore.

“You must love him a lot,” he says softly, almost as if he were muttering to himself. “It’s cute, you’re cute, I’m happy for you.” And you don’t answer, curious to hear what he’s going to say next.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot over the past six months,” he begins. “Thank you for always reaching out to me and not ghosting me despite the break-up, it meant a lot to me. Being away from you has been hard. I will not lie. But it also taught me that I was too dependent on you and it felt great to spend time by myself and with our friends. I got news from them and saw that you were doing well, as anyone going through a break-up would be. And it made me realise that, if you were fine, I should be fine, even if it was just a facade, that somehow the sadness would pass.”

You nod to let him know you’re listening and that you’re on the same wavelength as him.

“And it did,” he whispers almost happily, as if the weight he was carrying close to his heart has been lifted. “I thought I would love you for the rest of my life, but then I met someone.” You gasp at his words and tear up a little.

“It came as a blessing, without me even looking for it, and I can say that I’m happy now. So when I saw you so happy on Juyeon’s arm, looking at him lovingly like he hung the stars in the sky I thought: “Ah, you’re really on cloud nine with him”. I shouldn’t hold you back from your happiness. You have my blessing, not that you need it but date him, kiss him, make love and live happily ever after.” To emphasise his words, he squeezes your hand which he has started to hold somewhere in his monologue, and kisses it.

You swear you didn’t want to cry, and Juyeon will probably be worried to see your swollen eyes, but how can you remain impassive in the face of so much love? It’s true, you held back and would have kissed Juyeon if it wasn’t for Sunwoo. But now you’ll both be happy.

You chatted for quite a while, enjoying your reunion as friends, learning more about the person he had met and ranting about your life with Juyeon, when he appeared before you with Changmin, impatient to get you back. You missed him. How did you manage to live without Juyeon so far? Ecstatic, you jump into his arms and bid your goodbyes promising to meet again soon. As you walk away, Juyeon’s phone beeps and he just shrugs at the message in his inbox with a smile. Then he ruffles your hair, earning a pout from you that he kisses away at the corner of your lips. You wonder what the message was, but the kiss is definitely more important.

Sunwoo (1)

I’ve seen the way you look at each other, it’s full of love. Give it a shot!

Yes, there will be many more kisses now.

And here you are today, on Juyeon’s couch, enjoying your home date for the tenth anniversary of your friendship, with Sunwoo’s blessing in the back of your mind. You spent the day cooking together, sweet and savoury, having fun with the shapes of the cakes and pizzas (hearts and dicks like the children you are), playing games, dancing and listening to music in a good-natured atmosphere.

Today’s a day to celebrate your friendship. Yes friendship, when all you want to do is kiss him senseless. Maybe confessing today is not such a bad idea. Especially when you see him coming out of the shower in all his glory, beads of water running down his naked torso, hair tousled and wet, tongue running over his lips sensuously as he looks you straight in the eye, ready to pounce on you. Oh, and, his cinnamoroll pyjama pants, low on his hips and revealing the Apollo belt of his abs, make you smile as much as it turns you on.

Juyeon takes his place between your legs, smiling, his hot muscular back resting on your chest as he lays his head back on your shoulder, dampening your matching melody pyjamas. He chuckles as he turns his head to see you gawping. His big veiny hand that had been squeezing your thigh flies to your cheek, turning your flushed face towards him so he can kiss the pout at the corner of your lips. His beautiful lips linger a little longer on your neck, but you welcome his touch with open arms and lean into his embrace.

His eyes are full of stars when he rises from your embrace to grab the remote and turn on your series. But he remains seated between your legs, unconsciously resting a hand on your knee to preserve the intimacy you’re so immersed in. You help him on with his t-shirt, not without kissing his shoulder first, making him shiver. And your hands take the opportunity to wander down his torso to his waist, making him smirk as well. You become more and more adventurous, he loves it and can’t wait to run his lips all over your body, discovering all of it.

You place a kiss on the crown on his hair and when you notice that it’s already dry, an idea crosses your mind. Juyeon’s focus is back on the show, so much so that he can barely feel your hands playing with his hair. You give him a rather pleasant massage, moving down to the small of his chest, across his neck and up into his hair, twisting it between your fingers.

“How does it feel?” You murmured in a hushed tone.

“Heavenly,” he moans.

The tension is palpable as you continue your services, your hearts beating wildly, almost as one. He takes one of your hands in his to kiss it, the attention making you blush, before replacing it in his hair and nodding for you to continue. So you undertake one of the most romantic acts of love in your eyes, braiding his hair. Strand by strand, your fingers caress the edges of his face. The braids come undone as quickly as they are made, but he smiles broadly as he touches them, feeling butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating erratically.

“I could see our everyday life like this,” you whisper in his ear. “Together.”

Juyeon, who had been purring at your display of affection, becomes still when he hears your words. He slowly turns to face you with the most charming smile and tenderly takes your hand to place it on his chest, where his heart burns with love. The fire in his eyes burns inexorably, lighting up his already sunny face, unable to leave him. You’re captivated by this intensity and he doesn’t look away, also in love with your sparkling eyes, even when he reaches out to grab a little box that has always been right in front of your eyes. Yes, his love has always been on display. You were just too slow to catch on.

But you get it now. You’re two fools in love.

“You know how our youth is filled with each other’s names?” He says, voice a little hoarse and heart beating fast under your palm. “Well, my heart has never changed, I’ve always wanted to be with you. You are my breath of fresh air, the warmth that keeps me going through the winter, and the words I’m about to tell you will never melt away. My everything is all about you, it has always been about you.” He pauses to take a deep breath and kisses the palm of your hand, which he then links with his own, intertwining your fingers.

“I love you,” he sighs with love and happiness. “I love you so much that I was reading my destiny inside your eyes without even knowing it.” The flame of love he has carried all these years dances in his eyes, making him irresistible and captivating. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you wait for his question, palpitations he feels through your bound hands.

“Would you be mine?” His gaze, dropping to your lips then back to your eyes, is determined as he opens the velvet box to reveal two rings. Not just any rings, the matching promise rings to the bracelets you bought months ago. The ones on your wrists that you’ve never taken off.

As if on cue, as a sign of future commitment, he kisses your left ring finger and places the ring on your right with such tenderness that you almost cry. No, you’re pretty sure tears are rolling down your face because he puts his thumb under your eyes to gently wipe away the tears and kisses the salty drops that have run down your cheeks, close to your lips. With that, you mirror his actions by kissing the ring, his left ring finger and placing it on his right finger with a dazzling smile, as an unspeakable promise – that you’ll spend the rest of your lives together.

“I have always been yours. I love you Juyeon, so much that I’m going crazy.”

Even now, after confessing his feelings and hearing yours, he remains respectful and lets you make the first move with a victorious smile. You grin, feeling the cool material of the ring on your cheek as he cups your face in his hand, reminding you that this is all real and that he loves you.

And he does.

So you finally lean in, closing the gap between you to rest your lips on his. It was meant to be a soft and quick peck, but he captures your body and deepens the kiss, years of longing and wanting not to be wasted, leaving you breathless. His lips search yours every time you pull away, not wanting to let go, intoxicated by your lips and this new closeness. If you spend the rest of the evening making out and exploring each other, no one will say a word. Not even your neighbours.

Ah, you’ve never been in love and wanted to be with anyone as much as you do with him, and this since you were 16.

[drewsbraziliangf]

there'll be happiness after you | Drew Starkey x black!reader

summary: what can you do when you're back in the same place where you had your heart broken for the last time? Is there any way to move past all the hurt and longing?

a/n: ok so I'm sorry for the long wait for this... This will be the last part of this story :'( I want to thank you guys for the love shown in this because this is my first time writing for anything other than House of the Dragon in a loooong time. I hugely suggest listening to "No Goodbyes" by Dua Lipa, "Funeral" by Zara Larsson or "happiness" by Taylor Swift during this read. I hope y'all enjoy it!

dividers: @/saradika

warnings: some cuss words, angst.

The morning after a was never my favorite. Always waking up with a pounding headache and lips as dry as a desert is not the best way to start a day. But there was something about today that made it all worse, for some reason, my brain decided to remember most of the events of the previous night─ touches, kisses, promises, apologies─ everything.

A part of me prayed that I'd forget about it and be able to sneak out without him noticing, but seemed like he was expecting that already and gotten up before I was even awake. The only thing that made it clear that he was indeed at home, was the soft sounds coming from the kitchen.

Okay... I know this apartment like the back of my mind, so since the kitchen door wasn't a direct line for the main door, maybe if I'm quiet enough I'd be able to leave without him noticing, right?

Dwelling on it would only make it worse, so I got up, picked up my clothes from the day before, and quickly got dressed again, this time feeling much more exposed than I did last night. I looked around for my phone, but it wasn't anywhere to be seen. Cursing myself, I remembered that I left it in the living room. Great, a detour.

Thankfully I didn't have to worry too much about how my hair looked as the braids did half the work in keeping it presentable. With a sigh, I walked out of the room with my heels in hand and kept quietly praying to the gods above to grant me this one wish. I just needed my phone and then I'm able to leave.

As I reached the main hall, I could see the bathroom door closed and the lights on. Great, this would be even easier. I quickly walked towards the living room looking for my phone, thankfully it was exactly where I remembered leaving it. It took me no time to grab the device and turn toward the door, only to have one of the biggest jump scares of my life.

"HOLY SHIT!" My left hand instinctively went to my chest as my heart rate increased.

Yeah, there goes my prayers. Drew was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was messy and there was still a small air of sleepiness around him. He cleared his throat as he stared at me.

"Yeah, I knew you'd try to do that," he said with a shrug.

"Well, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid," I snap back after I'm calmer.

I could feel my hands getting sweaty and the weight of his gaze upon me was making me feel so uncomfortable. Like there was this white elephant in the room getting bigger by the second.

"Uhm, I kinda have to go-"

"Come on, let's talk over breakfast."

Without giving me a chance to answer he walked back towards the kitchen and I had no choice but to follow him. With a bit of reluctance, I dragged my bare feet after him. The cold tiles on the floor were not even bothering me as they were five minutes ago.

The worst kind of deja vu bathed me as I stood by the counter. The last time I was here was the worst day of my life, so I wasn't feeling great watching him move so effortlessly.

He filled two glasses with black coffee and the toaster with white bread before picking up some jam and cottage cream cheese.

I sat on one of the benches and quietly accepted the plate he handed me once it was all done, he then proceeded to sit by my side and we began to eat in silence, more like me watching him eat as I sipped my coffee.

"So you were just going to sneak out?" He asked casually after a few minutes as he coated his toast with jam.

"What did you expect me to do? I shouldn't even come here in the first place," I bite back and he places his mug down.

"Well, I thought you would at least grant me the chance to talk. We have a lot to talk about."

"No, we don't. We fucked and that's it. It shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. It can't happen again." I confess, with the instinct of avoiding to meet his eyes.

"What do you mean? We have to talk this through and fix what happened. I know that I fucked up but you just left. As if it all meant nothing to you. We were getting married, for fucks sake." He says, throwing his hands in the air in annoyance.

At that, I stand up and begin walking back toward the living room. I had to leave. This could escalate and both of us leave even more hurt than before.

"I'm not doing this again. I didn't just leave. You pushed me away. You didn't give me a reason to stay. That's what happened."

"I love you! How can you say that?"

"Yeah, you might. But do you like me?" The words leave my mouth before a second to think them over.

He watches me for a second before running a hand over his face. All the traces of sleep were gone from his features now.

"Because I did. And I was so in love with you too," I continue, as my eyes begin to sting. "I was so ready to have the rest of my life by your side. So, how could you do that to me? When did I stop being enough?"

The questions kept flowing out and I couldn't filter my feelings or my words. I just wanted this to end once and for all. My brain couldn't stop reminiscing on last night's events. His touches, his kisses, him.

But being sober now and knowing it all was killing me. How could I be such a fool? After I tried so hard to erase him from my mind...

"No, baby, please listen to me, okay? Just let me talk," he pleaded taking a step closer.

"No, Drew. There is nothing to talk about. I shouldn't have come here and this shouldn't even be happening."

My voice is slightly pitchier than I'd like but I couldn't help it.

"Do you have any idea of how hard it was for me?" I ask looking at his glossy eyes. "I don't get to travel all around the world and the country so I can simply put what happened aside. I had to deal with pitying looks for weeks. I had to walk around the city remembering a life we planned together but wouldn't have anymore. I have to keep on living knowing that that the man I loved didn't choose me when I really fucking needed him to."

At this point, I wasn't trying to keep track of my tears or my words. I just needed that out of my chest so I could be free. I was so tired of carrying these in my heart that even if it hurt, it was freeing.

"So it would be so fucking unfair to me if I just walked back into this," I say as I wipe my face with the back of my hand. "I can't do this to myself again. No matter how much a big part of me still cares about you. I deserve better. I have to choose myself because you clearly didn't."

He didn't say anything at that because there wasn't anything that could be said. Both of us knew that I was right.

Seeing him cry was like picking at an open wound, it made me feel even worse. But, what else could I do? I could feel this eating me up inside and I couldn't look past all the suffering I went through just because he showed up again.

"Loving someone isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have a lot to do and you didn't, you really didn't. So I'm sorry if I can't just pretend to be okay with everything after a few hours spent together after a few months."

"You think you're the only one suffering in this? I lost you and I had to wake up in our bed every day. I had to be in this apartment knowing that the person who made it a home wasn't going to return. And that no matter what I did or who came by, it was never going to be the same."

His confession made my heart clench but he brought this upon himself. It wasn't me who gave up on it.

"And who's to blame for that?" I say looking into his eyes.

"I know. Don't you think I've blamed myself enough for that?  Because I did, for all the days that you have not been here. This is the first time in seven months when I have felt a sense of normalcy and that's because you're here. Don't you see that?"

Now that the bandaid was ripped once again, the both of us were in tears standing in the middle of the living room. The walls felt like they were getting closer and closer each second that passed.

"Did you know that Frankie came by on the third month? She gave me the TED talk of my life."

That caught your attention, Frankie has never mentioned that. At all.

"She told me that she knew that I wasn't good enough for you from the start, but that she had never expected me to be a shitty partner too. That she had never seen someone disrespect their girlfriend as much as I did without even knowing and that now that I was single the reason for my breakup pushed me aside for someone more interesting. So that not only was I trash for  how I treated you but I was also dumb for not seeing it."

His words come as a shock to you. With shaking hands and deep breaths, you look around the room trying to focus on something that isn't his red face.

"And she's not wrong, you know? And I was also a coward for never coming to you and watching your life on the sidelines."

At this point, I was feeling the huge urge to sob. My hands were sweaty, my tears were not even drying in my face as new ones came down.

"So I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry for it. But please, don't say that I didn't care enough about you. Because I did."

His words keep ringing in my ear for a while as I try to place my thoughts correctly. Seven months ago I thought that it would be the last time I would see him and then I'd be able to heal and move on, but now seeing him and hearing everything was bringing a new wave of unaddressed feelings that I have not dealt with yet.

"I can't." A whisper comes out of my lips after a while. "And you have to understand why I can't do this again. I can't ignore everything."

He looks at me with his lips trembling as his tears keep on falling down his face. In the walls of this apartment now the only sound that rang was defeat. This was a lost cause and no matter what happened, both of us would be losing today. 

"I'm sorry, Drew. I really am, but there's nothing that can be done anymore. " I declare as I finally feel like he might let me go. "I hope you find someone who's ready and brave enough to love you through it all, you deserve to be loved and the times that I felt genuinely loved by you were the greatest. That person just won't be me."

Like the first time, months ago, I turned towards the front door and walked out.  Knowing that he would not follow me and that whatever had remained seven months and thirteen days ago, was completely over this time. Even if a huge part of me kept screaming at me to forgive him, I knew I couldn't. Not only it wouldn't be fair to me but I knew what would happen. Of course she wasn't as present in his life anymore, she completely isolated him from any potential significant other he could have. And if we got back together, the cycle would repeat itself and I would never put myself in a situation where I had to fight for someone's attention just to be tossed aside as if I was nothing. 

In this story, there was ever only one winner and it wasn't either Drew or I. 

💖taglist💖: @emmaafinchh @rafecamerons-national-anthem @bvleeeeeee @a-j-stuffs @maybankslover @lovelylove268 @cooper8224 @esquivelbianca @dreamybabbyy @lulubabii @idiotussupremus @drewsphswife @ietss @noneofyabuisnezs @chenslucy @yvbe99 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @theeternaloptimistt @roselibrary @daddydraco0 @iheartcats444 @allopathi

[selfloverrrrrr]

Blood Play

Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physical and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Geto, vampire Geto, prince Geto, stalking, protective, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Y/n's POV

People were getting missing in our Kingdom. We don't know what was exactly happening. But after some days of missing. Their dead bodies were found in the middle of our kingdom's jungle. And the horrifying thing is that their dead bodies don't look like they were killed by any human. And it doesn't seem like the work of any animals either.

Because those bodies don't have any animal attacking wounds it just looks as if someone took all the blood out of their bodies. That was terrifying! All the people of our Kingdom were going everyday to the castle of king Geto for help. But nothing much was happening... those incidents kept happening.

I didn't get deep into these , just kept my own safety.... until that one day came. Yuta okkotsu. He was my friend...my childhood friend and my best friend. We were so close friends. He was the only friend I had. His house was just beside my house. Both of us lived alone.

Yuta had a great obsession with mysteries. One night he came to me and said "y/n... I'm going out to find out what is happening in our Kingdom... who's killing these people... and I'm sure I'll find out" he said. "Yuta, are you mad or something?! You are not going anywhere! What if something happened to you?!" I said.

"oh y/n don't worry! Nothing's gonna happen... I've already researched something about these..." He said. "You researched what?" I asked. "Come sit.. I'll tell you" he said and I sat beside him. "I researched about this incident by meeting those dead people's family and with some books...do you know what I found out?" He asked.

"what?" I asked. "I'm not totally sure but I think there's a vampire... who's doing these things" he said. " Vampire? You mean that mythological creature?" I asked. "Yes yes... exactly!" He replied. "But how do you know?" I asked. "Look first let me tell you about vampires" he said.

"vampires are creatures who have fangs and they sucks blood from humans or animals with their fangs. They are mostly active at night and they can't walk in the sunlight... The sunlight burns them...but they found a solution for it... there's a pendant. Not everyone but Some vampires have it... and what I read from the book it's a silver pendant which has some power to keep them protected from the sunlight... they can walk in the sunlight if they have it" yuta explained.

"Yuta that's even more dangerous! Please don't go!" I said. "Y/n please... it's the first time I'm getting a chance for an adventure... please" he said. "I know... but what if something happens to you?!" I said. "Nothing will happen... I'm gonna come back home quickly....I promise" he said. "Okay .... but you should keep your promise!" I said. "I'll " he replied and went out.

That's the last time we talked. And as I feared he went missing like the others... but nobody found his body so there's still hope he's alive. I was crying from the morning. He's the only one I had. How can I let him go? I told him not to go... but he didn't listen to me....

The next morning I decided to go to the castle with the other people who were going there to complain. I went there. The castle was so gorgeous from the inside. So many people were already there. Then the king entered and sat on the throne. That's the first time I saw him. He looks dangerously gorgeous. His every feature was so gorgeous.

"speak" he said looking at the common people in front of him. "My lord it kept happening..... help us my lord" people said. I was watching from behind. "How many times are y'all gonna complain about the same thing?" He responded. "But my lord, we all are terrified" people said. "I told you I'm doing my work for this case... don't tell me this everyday" Geto replied.

His reply made my blood boil. How dare he? We're his people... he's supposed to protect us! And he's talking like he doesn't even care... My only friend got missing.... how can he say that? "How can you just talk like that as if you don't even care?!" I said loudly. Everyone looked at me.

"hey... he's our king" one of those people said. "No I won't shut up! My friend went missing yesterday too! And our king's acting like he doesn't want to help us! My friend Yuta investigated this thing and got information that these murders could be held by a vampire! And this king can't?!" I said loudly. Everyone was silent.

I didn't even pay attention to what I just said because I was so frustrated. "What's your name, miss?" Geto asked. "Y-y/n" I replied. "Miss y/n, come here please" he said. Fuck what did I just said! Is he gonna put me in prison? I thought and went towards the throne.

I stood in front of him. I was looking at the floor and wishing not to get imprisoned. He took my hand. "What were you saying about vampires?" He asked. "M-my friend Yuta...who got missing... h-he found some evidence that those murders are done by some vampire" I replied to geto.

"vampire... I see" he responded. "What do you know about vampires?... maybe that information is gonna help me to find your friend" he said. That gave me some more hope. "I don't know too much but..." I continued and looked at him "vampires are creatures who have fangs and they sucks blood from humans or animals with their fangs. They are mostly active at night and they can't walk in the sunlight... The sunlight burns them.... Not every vampires but Some vampires have a-" I was about to complete my sentence but I paused.

My eyes widened when I saw the pendant on his neck. That was the exact same pendant Yuta explained to me. "Some vampires have a? What?" Geto asked. I gulped. He's a vampire??? So everything is happening here... he's the one who's doing it? "I-i.... I forgot... those are the only information I know about them" I replied.

He smirked looking at me. Oh no no no! Does he know? Did he understand that I know he's a vampire? I asked myself. "Do you leave alone?" He asked. "H-hmm" I replied. "I think you need safety... your friend is already missing... what if you're the next target? And beside.... you're pretty too... you can easily be the target" he whispered leaning towards me.

"you're staying here until we find your friend... guards take her to....my room" he ordered. Oh no no no! This can't be! This is bad! But I can't even say no! What if he hurts Yuta more?! Okay y/n...clam down... it'll be okay... guards will be here too! I told myself. Then those guards took me to a room.

I was in a room. The guards closed the door. I know Geto is a vampire. I'm sure he is! But what can I do? He's way more stronger than me... and the worst thing is he knows that I know he's a vampire. Fuck! He's gonna come anytime now... what am I gonna do now???

I was looking around and noticed that all the windows of that room were covered with curtains. I got an idea. I took a deep breath. Okay y/n clam down... you can do it you can do it.... just believe in yourself! It'll be just one chance... I told myself.

It was day time. The sunlight was coming in the room. I pulled all the curtains. Now the room was filled with sunlight. A few minutes passed then the door opened. And as I thought it was Prince Geto himself. He smirked and closed the door. "So?... feeling safe here?" He asked.

I gulped my nervousness and cleared my throat. "Y-yes" I replied. "Great" he said and walked towards me then sat on the bed. "Please take a seat here" he said patting on the bed. I sat down. "Now answer my question and tell me the truth... okay?" He said. I nodded.

"you know.... don't you?" He said. I cursed myself under my breath. "W-what?" I asked. "Oh come on... don't try to be innocent...we both know that you know" he said shifting towards me. I clenched the bedsheet. "Now tell the truth and maybe I'll tell you where your friend is" he said.

My heart thumped. Now he's gonna blackmail me?! "I-i know" I said. He smirked. "That's better...go on... tell me what you know?" He said and played with my hair. "T-that you are a.... vampire" I replied. His smirked widened. "Brain with a pretty face.... what else can be more attractive?" He said looking at me.

He leaned towards me. "Your friend is still alive... I'll let him be free if you agree with my one condition" he said. A relief washed over me when I heard that Yuta is alive. "What is it? Tell me " I asked. "Be mine" he said. I was almost speechless. "W-what?" I asked. He again leaned towards me. "Give me your pretty body and I'll let your friend free" he said.

Hi face was too close to mine. He looked at my lips then again in my eyes. My hand was shaking. I took a deep breath. Ok y/n it's the time do it! I told myself. And within a moment of time I snatched away his pendant from his neck. The room was already filled with sunlight. His eyes widened and his smirk vanished.

He screamed. His skin started burning. He fell on the floor. "Nooooooooooooo" he screamed. Smoke started coming from his body. He tried to move from the sunlight but it was everywhere. He punched on the floor. He looked at me. "I'm gonna burn your friend!!!!!! Give me that pendant backkkkk!!!!!!" He screamed.

I went to the door. But It was locked. I couldn't break it. "Fucking stop it!!!! I'm dying!!!" He continued screaming. I finally managed to break the lock. "P-Please stop!!!! It's hurting me!!!!" He screamed and cried. "I'll let him go... please give it back!" He almost sobbed. I knew he was lying and he wouldn't do that... I run to exit from the castle.

I couldn't find the exit. I realised the sun already went down. Then I heard a groaning sound and footsteps coming from the direction of the room I was in. It's him. I could feel it was Geto. I quickly ran to the next room and closed the door. I silently stand there.

"where's she?! Where's that bitch?!" I heard him screaming from outside. My heart was racing. And what could get worse? A flower vase fell on the floor by accident. I cursed myself. But nothing can be changed now! And before I could do anything Geto broke the door and went inside the room.

I looked at the door. He was already looking at me. In the blink of an eye he was standing in front of me. His half body was burnt. But it was healing now. "It was simple....too much simple... but no! You had to be a bitch and choose the hard way.... now let me show you the hard way" he said with grinded teeth. Then grabbed my hair and pulled me out of that room.

He dragged me inside and locked the door. He turned towards me. "Now now....you proved that you ARE a bitch" he said and threw me on the bed.He started crawling towards me."please stop" I said and tried to push myself backwards but he grabbed my leg and pulled me towards him. I gasped. He was still smirking."stop?... Where's the fun then? The fun part is about to began ~" he whispered and crashed his lips on mine.

I tried to push him away but his grip was too strong. I can't even move myself. He was kissing me too roughly. I couldn't breathe. He grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. He looked at my naked body with lust in his eyes and didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensation. I grabbed his hair and tried to stop him by pulling it but it didn't even affect him. "P-Please stopppp" I screamed but he didn't stop.

Then he looked at my pussy. He rubbed his finger on my clit and whispered " so wet. Is my slut being needy now? Doesn't she wanna help her friend now?~". Then he licked my pussy. I couldn't help but moan loudly. He smirked at my reaction. "Please let him go..." I begged him. "Do you think you still have a chance to beg me after you did that with me?!" He said and undo his pants.

He positioned himself. "P-Please don't" I said. He rubbed the tip on my clit. "Shhhh" He said with a smirk and slammed his length inside me. I screamed. He let out a groan. "F-fuck... you feel like heaven!" He moaned.

He started thrusting in and out roughly. I was through my legs with pain and begging him to stop. "You don't know...you don't know how much I wanted this....fuckkkk....it feels so good" he moaned loudly. His thrust became harder and harder.

"can your friend make you feel like this?... Can he?... " he said. He kissed my neck. He thrust more roughly. "It's hurting.... I-It's hurting too much " I sobbed.

I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh s-so...ahhhh....so f-fucking tight " he started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself. With a few more thrust I came. He was still thrusting roughly. "I want blood....let me feed on you" he said.... "N-No please " I cried out. "I'll let your friend go... he's still alive" he said with a smirk and pulled out his frangs and dug them on my neck. I screamed in the pain. But he was being gentle while feeding on me. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out. My vision blurred out.

He licked my neck after he was done drinking my blood. "Sleep well... how can I let a gorgeous thing like you go...?" He whispered and kissed my neck.

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[wayward-dreamer]

Wake Up Call

Square/s filled: somnophilia @spnkinkevents |

Pairing: Dean x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 1,060

Summary: Y/N starts Dean's birthday in a special way.

Warnings: Swearing, smut: dirty talk, somnophilia, brief handjob, oral sex (m receiving), fluff

A/N: Wrote this as quickly as possible for our man's birthday, so it's unbeta'd but I hope y'all like it. Happy reading! :)

Y/N woke up before Dean did, and she was thankful for that, especially on this special day.

It was a good thing the boys had found the bunker, because he tended to take things easier when they were there and had no cases lined up. She had spoken to Sam a few days ago and made sure that they had nowhere to be, because her boyfriend deserved to be spoiled on his birthday. She wasn’t sure how many times Dean had celebrated the day before she came along, but now that she had been around for a few years, she always tried to do something for him.

She took advantage of her eyes opening before him to take in his peaceful features as he slumbered. His face was relaxed, his thick eyelashes resting against the soft skin above his cheekbones, his pouty lips parted slightly as he snored softly. His short hair was sticking up in different directions, and she bit down on her bottom lip as she took in his chiseled jawline, the defined muscles of his bare arms as he had pushed the covers down the length of his body during the night. The man was like a human heater and it was great whenever she felt cold to be able to snuggle up to him. Not that she needed a reason to do that.

He looked incredible all the time of course, but he was the most irresistible like this.

She shifted closer to him, carefully so that she didn’t wake him, smirking slightly as an idea for his first present of the day came to her, before all the others she had in store for him. She rested her hand flat on his warm chest and let it drift down, moving under the sheets and over his boxers, causing her to smile mischievously as she felt his morning wood. She caressed him through the thin fabric, feeling it twitch under her touch as he began to stir, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

She leaned in, her lips pressed to his ear as she lowered her voice. “Sshhh, it’s okay, baby. Go back to sleep.”

A small hum from him let her know that he drifted back, allowing her to pull his boxers down before she brought her hand to her mouth, dropping some saliva into her palm. She curled it around his length, her hand slowly pumping up and down along his shaft. She stifled her own moan as she heard a low groan escape him, but his eyes remained closed, his chest rising and falling. She smiled, placing a feather-light kiss on his cheek, before she shifted down the mattress. She pulled the covers down further, her hand continuing to stroke him at a slow pace. She felt him getting harder in her grasp, and she pressed her thighs together to keep her own excitement at bay a little longer.

She glanced up at him briefly, seeing his eyes still closed, before she leaned down and licked a long stripe along the vein of his cock, her other hand cupping his balls. Dropping more of her saliva along his shaft, she took the tip in her mouth, licking the precum off before she sucked softly. She kept her gaze on him as he shifted in his sleep, his eyebrows furrowing once more, but that didn’t stop her. She circled her tongue around the head before she sank down, taking him deep into her mouth. He hit the back of her throat, a small gag leaving her but she let her throat relax, bobbing her head back and forth. No matter how many times she did this, she was still in awe of his impressive length and girth, but she would never give up the feeling of that delicious stretch she only felt because of him.

Y/N kept looking at Dean, smiling around his cock as she watched his head toss to the side, a rough “fuck” escaping him. She wondered if he thought he was dreaming this, but she didn’t dwell as she continued her ministrations, her tongue circling the tip every time she drew back before she took him deep in her throat. She rolled his balls in her hand, no doubt adding to the arousal coursing through him. His eyelids fluttered, but didn’t flick open, allowing her to keep pleasuring him with her skilled mouth. She pulled back briefly, pumping her hand around him once more, smirking wickedly as green orbs finally met hers.

“F-fuck, sweetheart,” he rasped, his hooded eyes gazing down at her. “What’re you-”

She cut him off by sinking her mouth over his hard length again, picking up the pace as she bobbed her head, taking him deeper every time she moved down. He couldn’t keep his lids open, letting them close as his hand moved into her hair, giving in to the incredible feeling she was giving him. His neck strained, the veins pressing against his skin as he felt how close he was, his head tilting up as he panted harshly. It wasn’t long before his cock throbbed and pulsed between her lips, his balls drawing tight in her hand as he got closer to his release. With one last lick over the head of his shaft, she kept her mouth around it as ropes of his seed rolled along her tongue and down her throat, hearing the strangled growl that left him.

Y/N drew back and swallowed, smiling softly as their eyes locked on each other. She crawled along the bed, laying down next to him as she snuggled closer. She giggled at the way he shook his head and scrubbed a hand down his face, huffing out a small chuckle.

“Damn it, sweetheart,” he husked, breathing heavily as he came down from his high. “That was some wake up call.”

“Well, I had to start the day off right,” she stated, beaming.

Dean cupped her face in his hand and leaned in, his lips pressing to hers lightly before the kiss grew more passionate, unbothered at the trace of himself on her tongue. She pulled away, her mouth hovering against his as she beamed, seeing the grin on his face and the way his eyes lit up. She couldn’t wait for everything else she had in store for him.

“Happy Birthday, Dean.”

[strawberryblue-blog]

She's mine too —Mason Mount.

summary: annoying days of pregnancy with mason

warning: none. pregnancy, vomiting, discomfort.

words count: +1.5k

#SEXYNOTE: Merry belated Christmas and early happy new year y'all 💌 thanks for the support, i hope you are well. love youuuu 🩵

You hugged the toilet after spitting up all the dinner of the night between sobs, you sighed taking a big breath of air, feeling your stomach churning again. It was the fifth time you had gotten up to vomit in the night and you were really exhausted. For at least a week you had been feeling this way but in the last two days, it had gotten worse and you couldn't even feed yourself properly as you ended up vomiting.

Did your son or daughter hate you? It was practically thanks to you that he or she was coming into this world, and this is how he or she thanked you? By making you spit out everything you ate? By making you feel so fragile and silly at the same time? You wanted to stay cheerful, positive and full of energy but your baby was slowly consuming you. This was nothing like what you used to hear about pregnancies.

You had never been through anything before and it really scared you. The doctor had said it was normal as long as you had constant checkups and you just had to put up with it, even though it was very hard for you and especially for Mason. Sometimes he felt that what he was doing for you wasn't enough and he hated to see you suffer but it wasn't his fault and it would pass. You sighed whimpering a little, anyone would say you were exaggerating a little (and maybe you were) but you were really suffering. Since four months ago your body had changed, your fears had become constant, dizziness, mood swings, tiredness, breast pain, you had even become irritable. Sometimes you felt guilty but it was inevitable, the baby was running your life (Not really).

But you had no regrets.

Being a mother had been one of your dreams growing up, you used to say you wanted to be like your mother and you really hoped you would be for this child. You were discovering this whole new world and you have to admit you thought it would be something else, at least you had a great man by your side. Mason used to make your endless days, the best experience of your life. He would massage your feet, fulfill your every whim, pamper you and take care of you like you were a princess.

You couldn't complain, you were perfect together and starting a family with him was another one of your biggest dreams. Because you loved everything about him, about the relationship, the respect and love you had. Because you admired how strong and respectable he was and how he behaved with you, your family and friends. Because you were in love with him and that your son had him for a father, it was the biggest pride you could feel.

A hand on your back caressed you, pulling your hair back into a makeshift bun. Mason held your hair and calmed your nerves as he appeared behind you. You hated waking him up in the middle of the night with your retching, especially since you knew he'd have to get up early in the morning but Mason was always with you.

"Don't tease me like that" you laughed exhaustedly after a while. "That's the reason i'm here, puking up everything i ingest."

Mason hid a chuckle behind his smile, trying not to laugh at your funny comment because of the situation you were going through. But it was inevitable, even in misery you were saying funny things to him.

"You suggested doing it, honey. If you had stuck it out, we wouldn't be here," he replied, earning a pout from you.

And it was true. Maybe if they hadn't had too many drinks that night and you hadn't been so horny, nothing would have changed and you wouldn't have found yourself right now. But you wanted this as much as he did, because you were talking about this and about the future, and this was the future, you becoming parents.

After a while without nausea, Mason took you in his arms, slowly carrying you toward the bed. He handed you a glass of water and when you drank some, he helped you lie down on the soft sheets, arranging the pillows on your back to make you comfortable.

"I must look terrible" you whispered a little shaken. Your cheeks were red, your forehead sweaty and you sure looked gross right now. Mason quickly denied.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world" he murmured with his eyes sparkling. "You'll bring our child, you could never look terrible" his fingers caressed your face. A smile appeared on your lips as he kissed your forehead softly.

He took his place beside you, resting his head on your belly as he wrapped his arms around you. One of his hands caressed the protruding bump, which was growing bigger and bigger every day. You didn't know the sex of the baby yet but everything was within the norm for a pregnancy, something you were grateful for, and they were supposed to have news about the baby by the next visit.

"Baby, leave mommy alone for a while, okay? She's mine too" he whispered towards her son or daughter, drawing a smile from you. Your fingers tangled in her hair, stroking her chestnut locks. Your chest overflowed with feelings seeing him there and your heart filled with happiness at the image.

Mason on top of his baby, caressing your skin with his warm fingers, his eyes shining in his wonderful gaze. The reason for your happiness in front of you, your whole world. Your eyes filled with tears and you try not to cry but you were sensitive, everything hit you double, more when it was about your son and your boyfriend.

You were both terrified, you weren't going to lie, but since the test had come back positive and after a few months of waiting, you were ready for what was to come. You had learned to love each other, you had each other, you trusted each other and you were walking on the same side. Everything had been easier, since you knew Mason, you were always supporting and loving each other.

"The boys want it to be a boy to teach him to play football but honestly i want it to be a girl" Mason whispered turning back to your chest, still her hand held on the baby, caressing it.

"Is that what you want?" you asked with a giggle. Mason nodded. "Even Summer would take care of her and teach her" you mentioned and your heart fluttered with love as you imagined your boyfriend's niece with your daughter or son.

Mason smiled hugely.

"I want a boy too, of course. But we'll have time to bring him along after the baby girl" he joked with a grimace. You laughed out loud.

You were excited for the arrival of their son or daughter, they were counting the days since they had found out and memories were piling up in their memories of this special time. The wait was going to be hard but it would definitely be worth it when you had him or her with you.

[remedyturtles]

10 with Leo and Raph would be so interesting. (Thought I can't really picture either of them saying somthing that mean to eachother, so maybe mystics are involved?)

I hope you have a nice day!

great minds think alike y'all. thanks @bluemoonsymphonies and anon for the prompt! i hope u both enjoy....

wordcount 1k, pre-movie

10. "Please... what am I doing wrong?" "What aren't you doing wrong?!"

Leo’s throat hurt. 

Just add it to the list of bullshit that Raph was doing to him. Because there was absolutely no reason that Raph had to come and interrupt him while he was snoozing on the bean bag. Like, this lecture could’ve totally waited until later. Maybe after Leo had gotten some fucking sleep. 

“You’re not taking this seriously!” Raph said.

“You could not be more of a broken record if you tried, Rapha.” Leo hadn’t gotten up from the bean bag and suffocated a yawn into his fist. He was tired of the grating arguments and he was tired, just bone tired of the fighting for no reason. And tired in general. Because his head was so loud and when he laid down to sleep there was just… screaming there too. 

“That’s because you’re not listening to me.” Raph poked him right between the eyes. “I gotta drill it in that empty head somehow.”

Leo twitched. That was a bit harsh, especially since it wasn’t a gentle poke. He was feeling a little ganged up on and crawled out of the bean bag to stand his ground, crossing his arms. “Yeesh, tell me how you really feel.” 

“I think you’re lazy and unmotivated.” Raph scoffed. “We’ve got so much we could be doing and you’re sleeping in the middle of the day.”

Leo… paused. Stared at his brother with a bit of hurt shock. He was really coming at him, no holds barred. He held up his hands in surrender and said, “And wow, I think you’re a huge jerk. What the hell, dude? For your information, I barely slept last night, so get off me.”

Something flickered in Raph’s eyes. But it didn’t stay. He scoffed again, louder and more derogatory, raising up his lip to sneer with his snaggletooth. “You’re not even trying.”

“Wow.” Leo repeated. Hands still raised, skin goosebumping, a chill from the undisguised scorn. This was different from the usual annoyed arguing. This was … mean. “Okay. Please, let's hear it. What am I doing wrong, then?”

“What aren't you doing wrong?” Raph spat back, chest heaving. Genuine anger sung hot and heavy. 

Leo stared. This sounded a lot like the inside of his own head. Which didn't make sense, because that wasn't Raph. He pushed and he pushed but he was never like this. Not his Raph. Not his lovable big lug of a brother who truly only wanted the best for all of them. 

“Nothing to say?” Raph tilted his head to the side. His eyes were rather blank, now that Leo was making painful eye contact with him. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Leo prompted.

Raph blinked rapidly, surprised, then shook his head. “What are you talking about? You’re the one who's a problem here."

"Yeah, something is definitely wrong." Leo stepped forward, cataloguing other symptoms as he went. "You give me a hard time, you piss me off, and you nag me. But you're never, ever mean. So what gives?"

Raph was sweating. Not any of his usual sweat, not a scent Leo could pinpoint with scary accuracy. Something unheard of. When Leo got closer, he could see the pin-pricked pupil and too-quick breathing. He practically growled at Leo as he got close. 

"Relax." Leo smiled, charming, getting another step closer to the lion's den. Flickering his gaze over Raph to try and find some kind of clue. "I get you, I know you want me to try, etc etc. But you wouldn't just brush past me telling you I hadn't slept, because you know I hate being honest about that. You'd be beating my ass with a pillow to go to bed then and try again in the morning. So either you've been possessed by a demon or cursed. Which is it?"

"I'm not –" Raph lurched forward.

But Leo had already spotted it. He pinched the little bug between his thumb and forefinger and pulled – a parasitic scarab bit down into the skin of his neck. The moment it left Raph's body, the little pincers wiggled agitatedly in the air, and Leo surveyed the bug with a distasteful eye. 

Raph inhaled sharply, hand flying to his neck, and took two staggering steps backwards. He breathed, "What the fuck."

Leo waved the evil little beetle at him. "Did you piss off someone? Maybe walk through a magical rainforest?"

"I – I – " Raph's face morphs into one of pure horror. "I'm so sorry."

"Aw, buddy." Leo opened a portal and flicked the beetle through it, sending the fucker to the moon. Then he waved it away and opened his hands in offer. "It's okay. I know you better than that." 

Raph scooped him up in a hug so tight it took his breath away. He squeezed and squeezed and Leo bore it with the patience of someone who'd been a teddy bear for this man many a time. 

"It's okay." Leo mumbled to him. 

"Not really." Raph replied, miserable.

"You didn't mean it." Leo shrugged.

The arms around him tightened. Raph shuddered a breath.

"Okay, maybe you meant it a little bit." Leo amended, because it wasn't like this conversation was new. Just the vitriol at which he spat it. "But bud, I know you're not coming at me to hurt me. I'd never think that. You're literally doing this because you want me to be my best. I'm not stupid. I'm just really, really good at acting like it."

Raph pulled back enough to show his red eyes. "Then why won't you work with me here?"

Leo couldn't say, because I'm scared my best isn't good enough. Instead he pat his big brother's arm and said, "Let's get you checked out and make sure that beetle didn't cause any lasting effects, hey?"

"Leo–" Raph growled.

Too late. Leo eeled out of his grip and danced away, waving over his shoulder. "Come on, chop chop, I don't have all day you know."

Raph… sighed. And followed, shoulders hanging.

[thecapricunt1616]

Cherry (Richie Jerimovich one-shot)

♡ One-Shot Inspo: Cherry juice is considered an elixir of immortality most often associated with the feminine aspects of beauty, sexuality and procreation. ♡ Summary: Richie has a hard time telling Tiff about his new GF ♡ W/C: 3.0k ♡ A/N: EEEEK I hope you all like Pt. 2 of Pink Pony Club!! Sorry there's no smut but if y'all really want a pt. 3 LMK!!! heheh, hope you enjoy! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Agegap!Relationship, Angst, Swearing, Smoking Read Part 1 ♡Here♡

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮�� 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

Richie still hadn’t told Tiffany about you. It wasn’t that he was avoiding her, as he was picking Eva up at school on Friday evening and dropping her back off on his weekends on Monday morning. Alright, maybe he was avoiding her. That was because, on his time off, you were glued to his side, he wasn’t complaining, he loved having you around. He actually was the one who assured you stayed glued to his side whenever he got out of work, he made his way to the Pink Pony and picked you up - then headed back to his.

You had met Eva at the beginning of the month, easy to say that she fell in love with you at first sight. Your jingly dangly jewelry, the pink streaks in your hair, the colorful and whimsical tattoos you had, she told Richie “Daddy, she reminds me of a carebear!” the first time you’d met which earned a giggle and an honest thank you out of you. She was such a bright, funny little girl. She was also very sweet, and knew how to get what she wanted out of her dad which you highly respected. 

He had told you about Thanksgiving friends and family night at The Bear about 2 weeks prior to when it would happen. If he was being honest with himself he thought it would be a shot in the dark that you would even say yes and want to go, but to his earnest surprise - you were over the moon excited and told him you were honored that he’d asked, and gushed about picking an outfit and how you would do your hair. This made him both excited and fucking nervous because this meant he would need to really figure out what he was going to say to Tiff when you show up.

He knew that Eva probably had said something to her, considering how she couldn’t stop asking you questions when she was in your presence and complimenting your accessories and makeup - which probably meant she was gushing about you to her mom since if the girl had one hobby it was excessive talking. She probably got that from him, that was what you always teased. But now that the day had finally arrived, he was nervous that everything would truthfully go to shit, and that he would be left with yet another huge mess that he has to clean up by himself. 

When he woke though, to hearing giggles in the kitchen and the smell of coffee, he couldn’t help but smile to himself. He had never had the pleasure of waking up in an apartment that felt like home, but since you came around you had made that a reality for him and it was one of the things that he loved most about you. He sat up, rubbing his face before standing to stretch his tight back, and pads out to the kitchen to see you demonstrating to Eva how you stain your lips and cheeks with cherry juice. She was sat on the counter and you were stood in front of her showing her how.

“See so you bite, these ones are nice and juicy so they give great lipstick” you bite the tip of the cherry “Then you rub it where you want it, but don't forget to dab it in or you’ll look like Bobo the clown” you joke and she giggled, copying you and rubbing the juice on her lips and cheeks. “Beeautiful darling!” you said in an exaggerated french accent causing her to laugh even more.

“Lipstick huh?” Richie comes up and hugs you from behind, taking the cherry from between your fingers and rubbing some on his lips “how does daddy look mm?” He makes a kissy face 

“Beautiful daddy!” Eva tried her best to copy your previous accent “pixie promised she’d let me wear real lipgloss to dinner, right pixie stick?” She said and you gasp playfully, poking her belly 

“No! I said if daddy says that it’s ok, I will let you wear my clear lipgloss.” You told her and gave Richie a sweet peck before turning and grabbing one of the old mugs from The Beef and pour some steaming black coffee in it before handing it over to him. 

“Well if it’s clear then I guess It should be ok, thank you sweets” he took the cup gratefully and kissed the top of your head before sitting at the table with one of his little old man sighs. “She eat?” He asks and you nod. 

“Of course- she had toast and eggs. I didn’t wanna wake you she was up around 5, she’s an early bird. Hey Eva, how about we go get your shower all done so you can play until it’s time to get ready, do you want me to help you get it set up?” You asked and she nods 

“Can I use your pretty soap?” She asked and you giggle a bit, lifting her off the counter on to your hip and carrying her to the bathroom 

“Of course little princess, you can even use my special sugar scrub that matches mm?” You set her down on the floor carefully and started the shower for her, grabbing her a towel from the linen closet, and play clothes from her bedroom and setting it down on the bathroom counter. You made sure to check the temperature for her to assure it wasn’t too hot before ruffling her hair playfully “call daddy if you need help ok?” You remind her and she agrees with a hum as you shut the door behind you. 

“Y’good at the whole step mom thing” Richie says from the couch where he was now watching the news. You smiled a bit, walking over and taking his cup, setting it on the coffee table before straddling his lap and wrapping your arms loosely around the back of his neck. 

“Am I?” You gently rubbed the spiky short hair at the back of his neck and he rested his face in the crook of your neck, kissing the skin there gently. 

“Y’good for er’, really good.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around your back and hands trailing down to squeeze your ass in your little black sofee shorts he loved so much. 

“You’re a sweetheart. Makes sense how she’s such a sweet little girl” you kiss his temple gently. “Is her mom still coming?” You asked. You weren’t nervous, you’d had boyfriends before where their ex wives didn’t like you, although this was your first rodeo with an ex-babymom so it would you assume be a bit different. 

“She is…” he said softly, in the way that let you know his mind was definitely somewhere else. Richie wasn’t soft, he wasn’t gentle. He if anything navigated his life something akin to how a bull would navigate a fine china shop. 

“You’re nervous baby, why.” You rub his shoulder gently and he shrugs a bit. 

“Eva’s been happy lately and Tiff…she has a tendency to freak out. I just…our custody agreement. I worry that she would use it against me if she doesn’t like who I’m dating and you’re the first girl I’ve gone steady with since the divorce.” He tugged your hips closer to his and you settled comfortably over him. 

“And you aren’t on drugs, you’re mentally stable, you have a nice apartment, you have a car. You are in a loving relationship, anyone around us can contest to how much we love eachother right baby?” You gently kiss over his face in the way that made him smile and blush, his pretty eyes fluttering shut. He always reminded you of a teenager when he did that. 

“Yeah, yeah. But guys aren’t favored as highly in the family court and all that bullshit. I know we’re both providing a fuckin stable loving home er whatever they call it. An’ she loves you, and you love her, and we’re one big fuckin happy family - but tiff can go and rip that up and just say- just-“ he sighed as you kiss the sweet spot on his neck, losing his train of thought. 

“What. That I’m a whore? I can show them my real estate portfolio. I own half of the club, they can’t prove I dance, baby.” You cup his cheek and plant a gentle kiss on his lips as you heard the water cut. “Eva is almost 10, baby. Shes gonna legally have her opinion soon enough on who she can live with. We just have to stick it through, yeah?” You kiss his forehead and he sighed, nuzzling his face between your breasts and breathing in your perfume. 

“Promise” he hummed into your skin and planted a sweet kiss on the skin as Eva loudly calls 

“DADDY!!! PIXIE FORGOT MY PANTIES I NEED PANTIES CLOSE YOUR EYES!!” At the top of her little lungs, causing you both to laugh. You got up, padding to her bedroom and grabbing a pair with Bluey on them and going back, knocking on the door gently 

“Sorry! Sorry pipsqueak! My eyes are closed daddy’s eyes are closed I got your panties can I chuck em’ to ya?” You giggled amusedly, covering your eyes with your hand and Richie does the same, chuckling to himself as he blindly sips his coffee. 

“Pixie! I can’t believe you forgot my PANTIES!” She squeaks dramatically, quickly opening the door, ripping the panties out of your hand and shutting the door quickly once again, clicking the lock which makes you giggle even harder at the thought a 7 year old needed ‘privacy’ 

“I know! Worst best friend ever EJ” you teased, a name only you gave her and she loved it. She said other girls in her grade didn’t have ‘letter names’ but the boys did, so she liked that she had a letter nickname. 

You sat back on the couch, shaking your head as you sip your morning smoothie “that one is a little you, a little girl Richard” you teased with a smirk and he nudged you with his knee jokingly. 

“Y’know she uh…” he rubs his nose “she asked t’be called EJ at school. Her ma was askin’ why. Another reason why I’m uh…nervous I guess” he admits, staring into his cup of black now lukewarm coffee as the weatherman goes on about todays high would be 42 and raining all day long. 

“She did” you look into your cup of ice coffee, the dribbles of condensation running down the glass. You swallowed thickly her mother likely didn’t approve. To which he confirmed that theory by explaining 

“Tiff asked if i was uh…” he chuckled “with all that woke non-binary shit. And that I was turning her into a tomboy and that it’s uh..not what it was when we were young. And that girls have to be girls, now. So..she got all pissed and said we gotta get her outta that.” He said and you swallow thickly. You had trans and nonbinary friends, so the thought of his ex wife not being accepting was a stab to the gut. And you knew her biases were strong if she was simply hounding on a name? You knew that she was not an accepting person. 

“Wow…uh…no she can have any name she wants, honey. I know you believe that cause’a’how your dad controlled you. Tell me you won’t force her to be who her mom wants her to be” you look him square in the eye. He swallows thickly, nodding simply and taking your hand, squeezing it gently as Eva comes out of the bathroom. 

“Nice to have panties pixie stick!” She chides, causing you to giggle. 

“A tiny Richard” you said gently and poked his cheek gently. It was a day of playing, and giggling, and reading books- until it was finally time to get ready for the night out. Richie put on his black work suit per usual, a handsome tie that you knew he’d be using to tie your wrists behind your back later when Tiff took Eva for her week long stint. 

You wore a babydoll, long sleeve dress, it was cream colored. It was also adorned with sage green floral patterns, and had puffy sleeves. You wore a beautiful sage bow, tying back your hair and simple makeup. Eva and you were wearing matching lipgloss, which by her attitude gave her all the attitude and confidence in the world. “Let’s do our affirmations, EJ” you told her, gently stroking her little arms and meeting her gaze in the mirror. She smiled proudly and nodded 

“I am beautiful, I am smart, I am strong, I am worthy, I am capable, I am able to do hard things, I am creative, and I lead my life with love and kindness” she repeats your mantra, while looking herself in the eyes and you smile proudly.  

“That’s right pretty girl, my pretty capable smart worthy kind girl” you kiss the top of her head proudly. “Now, do you want…” you dig around your purse and pull out the travel size Marc Jacob’s perfume you got for her with a kind smile “a fancy girl perfume?” You ask her and she gasped like you’d hung the moon on a string, taking it from you and looking at it closely. 

“Pixie!!” She said excitedly, spritzing it on her wrist and neck like she’d seen you do so many times before and dabbing her wrist to her neck to dry them down. “I smell like a lady! A real fancy lady!!” She said excitedly and jumps up and down in her little Mary Jane heels she had begged Richie to buy her. You laughed a bit, nodding happily and adjusting the little curls you’d made in her hair with a hot curing iron. 

“A real fancy lady” you repeated happily. “Go show dad!” You urged as you finished putting your earrings on and she clopped off. You hear Richie gasp and her squeal as she was picked up and kissed all over her face 

“Who’s this prettiest girl? Mm?” He joked, holding her like a koala as he went back to the bathroom and stood behind you. 

“Pixie is prettiest” she said and patted your hair, causing your cheeks to rush with heat. When you got to the restaurant, you were ushered to your table with you on one side and Eva next to you, and an empty seat sitting directly across from you. You assumed that was Eva’s moms seat, you ended up being right. 

“So this is uh… my girl, Tiff.” Your head popped up, standing and extending your hand 

“Nice to meet you! Tiffany, right? You have a beautiful girl, and so smart!” You gush, hoping to land a good impression. She looked you up and down judgmentally, eying the shortness of your skirt and the low bejewled cut of your shirt, before grabbing your hand carefully like you had some kind of sickness, dropping it before turning back to Richie with a unreadable look on her face. 

“Back porch!” She ordered and walked off with her glass of wine, the back door closing behind her with a slam that made you wince. He apologizes to you with his eyes, patting your bum as he headed out behind her. 

By the time he came back with her at his side, everyone had been sat for dinner, and your and Eva’s head popped up, staring at them. “All set honey” Richie said cooly, kissing the top of your head as he made his way back to the host’s stand, cracking his knuckles nervously and standing straight ahead. 

“Mommy, Did you see Pixie sticks pretty Carebear tattoo?” she asked hopefully with a big smile, and you nudged your foot with hers gently, giving her a warning look and she looked back into her kids order of mac and cheese without another word.

“Carebear, Hmm? How old are you?” She snips

“Old enough!” you snap back with an all too polite smile. “Plenty old enough, actually. I appreciate the concern, though honey” the rest of the meal was done so in silence, until it was time for dessert, when Eva asked

“Whats tir- tira-” 

“Tiramisu?” you smiled kindly, “it’s a coffee flavored italian dessert, do you like coffee?” you asked and Tiff scoffs

“Shes seven, should she like coffee?” she asked in an annoyed tone. You held back from rolling your eyes and shrugged,

“She likes, what she likes” you gave a poker face like smile and continue eying the menu even though you knew exactly what you wanted. By the end of the night, Eva was nearly falling asleep in her seat on your shoulder, cuddling your arm. Tiffany was more then happy to scoop her up in her arms when it was time to go home, giving you a glare. She didn’t even say goodbye to Richie, he had to chase her down when she was buckling Eva into her seat. 

“Tiff- Tiffany!” He jogged up to her car and she scoffed in a disgusted tone. 

“What. What?! do you fuckin want-“ she snaps, closing Eva’s door a little too hard that caused her to wake a bit startled and pay attention to what they were saying. 

“What?” He asked, holding Eva’s backpack that she forgot on his arm and she frowned, snatching it from him and throwing it in the passenger side of the car

“Go sleep with your new high schooler. You fucking perv” she hissed, shoving past him to get to the drivers side and slamming the drivers door. You had come out just as he watched her peel away, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, unsure what to do other than just watch. 

“Hey sweetheart” you hug him from behind, kissing the back of his neck. 

“W’never gonna get along.” He muttered

Fin

[ask-irisstar]

Having triplets with Zoro will include...

A/N: Sorry for disappearing for a few days. My brain was empty af and this suddenly came to mind. Hope yall enjoy this fic!

Notes: Zoro x Fem reader, Fluff, SFW

Has triplets just to match his sword style

Straps his kids to his body (He makes all three of the fit, trust)

Gives his kids a kitchen knife just to teach them swordsmanship

You: I will NOT have MY babies holding a KNIFE at such a young age Zoro: Relax, they're fine... You: (kids name) NEARLY CUT HIM/HERSELF!!

All three kids inherited Zoro's sense of direction

May or may not have a sense of smell (Cuz no way the kids can stand his body odor)

Naps all day=cute pictures to take for blackmail

Expect to see your triplets sleeping on top of a sleeping Zoro

Zoro mostly cares for the babies during the night while you in the morning

You just deal with feeding mostly since Zoro is naturally great with kids

Will boast to Sanji about having babies

Sanji crying because he knew Zoro had sex with you the entire time ya'll were dating PLUS he married you PLUS had three healthy babies

When your triplets grow older he'll give each triplet one of his earrings (Every pirate/Marine will know that the triplets are the sons/daughters of Roronoa Zoro)

Once you guys kids grew up and leave the crew to start their own journey, Zoro wants MORE kids

"Hey babe, let's have more kids..." "We're like 38 years old..." "And I don't fucking care..."

Poceeds to fuck a baby into you

Long story short, y'all had more kids...

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That's a wrap! I hope you guys enjoy this! Don't forget to request!! Please, I beg, send me more request...

[winkliee]

friends with benefits

giyuu x fem reader

warnings: roommates, blowjob, mentions of masturbation, bold giyuu

my first kinktober prompt (drabble) lol, it's going to be a drabble, hope y'all enjoy! it's a bit whimsical too lmao🥴

even this morning you couldn't have even thought that you would be in this position.

knelt over, teary eyed, sucking off your roommate, who also happened to be your crush.

giyuu was always quiet, shy, and polite and respectable to you. he was a good student as well. on the other hand, you were the polar opposite, extroverted, always with friends, and a popular guitarist. you barely passed your exams.

maybe that is why you were so attracted to him from the first day he moved in.

it's been six months since, and your feelings never changed. instead your liking for giyuu grew.

when you saw the exam timetable this morning, you got a great shock. the exams were already knocking at the door, and needless to say, you weren't prepared.

after a lot of thought, you decided to ask giyuu for help. you needed to pass these exams. after all it was the final semester, and you needed to graduate.

and you could also spend some time alone with your crush.

but you were shocked when he refuses to help you.

"why should i help you?" he said with a slight smirk after hearing your request, "it's not like we are friends either."

you were desperate. you needed the help.

"please giyuu, i will do anything," you said instantly.

giyuu stared at you blankly, appearing to give it a thought.

"fine. but i have a deal. why don't you do me a favour first before i return yours?"

and that is how you were here, sucking his massive cock, as drool dripped from the corners of your mouth on to his balls, as you held his thighs for support. his hands guided you on his cock, occasionally pulling on your hair as he shoved you deeper onto his cock.

"you're so good at this. if i had known earlier," he groaned, "that you liked me, i would have had done this sooner."

you eyes widened as you stared at him. he looked truly beautiful and mesmerizing, with his red and sweaty face, disheveled hair, while his blue eyes darkened at the sight of you.

"darling, you aren't really quiet when you get off to me every night."

embarrassment flooded your cheeks as you gagged on his cock, tears escaping your eyes. he knew it all this time, he heard you masturbating.

yet you couldn't help but tighten around nothing, the wetness dripping from you as you felt it.

"ah ah, don't stop now dear," giyuu said, caressing your cheeks while he started guiding you again.

you closed your eyes as your hands left his thighs and went to his soft balls, gently squeezing them.

instantly you heard a whimper, as you opened your eyes to see giyuu covering his mouth, his hands having left your face.

you started repeating the action, having no restraints now, freely gagging on his cock, as you slowly adjusted your throat, before pulling away.

"do me another favour giyuu," you said to him, as he looked down at you, his face still covered with his hand.

"remove your hand. i want to hear those beautiful sounds you're making."

thank you for reading. likes and reblogs are appreciated.

[haveateadude]

bleak horizons ii.

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ christmas and hot chocolate

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, family issues, and i think that's it?? it's mostly fluff??

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ why is it christmas you might be wondering... well i don't fucking know okay??😭😭wrote this when i was in another country and it was cold and it reminded me of christmas so i wrote this. anyway. this one is boring as FUCK... just saying. i'm embarrassed about posting this actually. also, i accidentally put this on chat gpt and it gave me more than 10 things i had to fix so. don't get your hopes up LMAO

hope y'all have a great day, night, morning or whatever. take care of yourselves!!!!!!! if u don't you're an asshole.

AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON MY LAST POST!!!!!!!!! i love everyone who liked it :)) even just knowing people have read it makes my heart warm. i really thought it would get cero recognition, y'all are amazing <3

(readers mental health gets addressed in the next chapter btw)

(not proofread either, sorry if there's any mistake)

pt1 — pt2 — pt3

i don't wanna talk about anything

i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again

wanna witness your eyes looking

For Christmas, I go to Ellie's house, and I lie to my mother about having too much work. She says it's fine, which weirds me out. I never thought she would say yes. I’m excited and happy to go to Ellie’s house, anyway. This is important, I feel—meeting her family, I mean. She never speaks much about them, but I know she's adopted, and that she gets along with them. She also never met her mother. She says she had her aunt to teach her all that Joel couldn't, like what periods were, how to wash her clothes, and how to paint her nails with her left hand.

I think a part of me is afraid to go because I'm afraid I'll get attached. My mother never taught me what periods were and my father never seemed to know what empathy was. Her family sounds like a dream to me.

"We’re here," Ellie says with a smile on her face as she pulls up on the side of the road next to a white house. It’s got a green lawn, it looks nicely cared for, and a white picket fence. I take a deep breath, I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I think Ellie senses that. She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it, which feels comforting. "Hey, just know my dad is really fucking chill. It’s just going to be us, and my uncle's family. They’re going to love you, I promise."

"Okay," I nod because I know it and that's what I'm afraid of. I look outside the window. It’s Christmas Eve. It's already snowing. I then stare at Ellie's eyes and smile. I kiss her and when I pull apart I speak. "I don't want to go out, it's cold."

"C’mon, let’s go inside then. I don’t want you to freeze in this car."

I nod and fix my hair in the mirror before I go out. The cold makes me unable to feel my face or my hands, so when I go inside I'm a bit surprised by how warm it is. Ellie makes me hand her my coat and my stuff, and she puts mine and hers aside.

The house inside looks way better than it does outside. The lights are dim, the Christmas tree has colorful lights wrapped around it, and it smells like an apple pie is cooking. It feels like an actual home, and the chimney is decorated with socks, and next to it, on the wall, are pictures of young Ellie.

"You look cute," I tell her, speaking about the photos, as she walks towards me.

She blushes, her ears go red, "Uh, you weren't meant to see that."

"Oh, stop it," I chuckle. "You look adorable.”

"I bet you looked way more adorable than me."

"I looked like a disfigured mosquito with a big ass."

Ellie laughs as her hand goes to my hip, "First of all, if you were a disfigured mosquito—which you're not by the way—I would still like you; second of all, I love your big ass."

"Oh, so that's all you love about me?" I ask, teasingly, slightly tilting my head. "Just my ass?"

I feel Ellie's hands move downwards, nearly gripping my butt, before I hear someone clearing their throat. I'm so red I'm not even a tomato... I probably look like a fucking chili pepper or something.

I know it's Joel because Ellie has a picture of him with her on her nightstand. She looks at Joel as her hands linger on my hips for a second, then she takes them off and walks towards him.

"Joel," Ellie says, hugging him. "Hey, old man."

"Kiddo, you've grown so much."

"I look the same as last month."

"Yeah, just thought it’d make you feel better."

Ellie laughs as she pulls apart. I just stand there, awkwardly behind Ellie. Finally, Joel looks at me.

"Oh, hi," he says, now looking at me. "Ellie has talked a lot about you."

I nod, "Thanks for letting me stay, Mr. Miller."

"Just call me Joel."

"Well," Ellie interrupts. "We're going to my room, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, I'll tell you when Tommy and Maria get here."

Ellie takes our bags, which she insists on doing alone, and leads me to her room.

Her room, it's… so her. Posters of bands cover every inch of her walls, and her desk is stained with paint.

I sit on her bed and look around as she sits next to me.

"I like your room," I tell her, feeling her knee bump against mine. She's so close to me I can feel her breath on my neck. 

"It’s messy, though." She’s looking at me, but I can't dare to look at her. 

I feel guilty for not being at home now, it gnaws at me. Is mom alone? And why do I care? Why do I feel guilt over the person who made me hurt more? She always wants to fight—there's always constant battles between us, battles she always wins. So why do I miss her and why is it hard to accept?

"What are you thinking?"

I chuckle, "It’s nothing."

"Well—alright," she lets the subject the subject slip. She kisses my cheek and then my lips and her hands roam my body. We just make out, though.

Christmas dinner goes fine. Better than I thought it would. The Millers are like a real family, they talk to me like they've known me for years, even though I feel like an intruder in their house. I don't want to be fond of them, or else I'll cling to them like they're family.

Maria and Tommy have a baby and most of the night is spent with Ellie cradling the baby and me sitting next to him. We drink hot chocolate with marshmallows. This is the happiest I've ever been at Christmas.

At night, I leave Ellie's warm embrace to go for a glass of water. I can't sleep, my mind is racing and it won't shut off.

When I go downstairs Joel is sitting at the kitchen table, I don't know what to say to him. Which is okay, because he speaks first.

"Can't sleep?" He asks.

For a moment I think he has confused me for Ellie, because why is he talking to me?

"Yeah," I say, getting my glass of water.

"I won't give the 'hurt my daughter and I'll kill you' talk if that's what you're worried about."

I try to laugh, "Thanks, I guess. You're—you're a great dad."

"Well, you're a great kid."

"Thank you," I answer because I don't know what else to say. He's indeed a great dad. He's funny and nice and caring. I've seen the way he talks to Ellie. Unlike my father he doesn't look at her daughter like he's trying to fix their relationship, therefore their conversations don't look forced; Ellie has referred to me as her girlfriend at Christmas dinner, and all Joel did was smile. It made me want to throw up, even if I felt welcomed.

"Hey—uh, I'm sorry if I approach this in the wrong way… but Ellie has told me that your mother is causing you trouble."

"Yeah," I don't know what to say, again. How do I answer this? How should I feel about this? "She's been a little difficult, but you know. It's the normal mother-daughter fight, nothing to worry about."

"Okay," he nods. "If you want you can talk to me, or Ellie—she's… she's been a little worried."

I hadn't seen that coming. Is Ellie's worried?

"I—I will talk to her. Thank you."

She doesn't want you. She's your friend, she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think she'll leave.

I want to say Mr. Miller but I know he wants me to call him Joel—which makes me a little awkward. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Get the rest you need," he smiles. "Leave the cup on the table, I'll wash it."

I wake up being the little spoon.

Ellie has her arms wrapped around me like she's afraid I'll leave. As I slowly open my eyes I can also feel Ellie shifting behind me.

"Morning," she speaks in her morning voice, the vibration of her voice against my neck sends shivers down my spine—in a good way.

I smile, "Hey."

"How did you sleep?"

"More than good. Your bed is very comfortable."

"Yeah," she pulls me closer to her front, "I could stay here forever."

We don't stay there forever, though, because we open presents. It's just Joel, Ellie, and me. Surprisingly there's one for me from Joel, and Maria and Tommy.

Ellie gave me a necklace and a ring, which might seem simple to others but I had been planning on buying it for a fucking long while. It always was out of sale. And the ring had a moon on it.

"Fuck, Ellie," I say as I look at her, sitting on the floor with my legs crossed. "This is amazing, I love this."

"Yeah?" She asks. She's sitting next to me, her legs stretched out, resting her weight on one of her arms behind her. I notice she looks flushed. Her cheeks are slightly more pink than they always are.

I nod, kissing her, "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

She chuckles after I give her one last kiss, "Time to open mine now, I guess."

I look at her as she opens what I gave her. It's small, compared to what she gave me. Is just one of the first pictures we took together framed, just after I moved in. I also gave her a white silver beaded bracelet I had made.

"I remember this day," she says, looking at the picture. "I remember I was trying to impress you all day long, you know? I just wanted to make you laugh... and well, you did."

I chuckle, "I did laugh at all your jokes, but I think that's just because I have a very shitty humor."

"I'm glad we share it."

Ellie looks at the bracelet and the framed photo with a tender smile, her eyes glistening.

"I love it," she says softly, as she puts the photo down, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love you."

Her words make my heart race, and I feel my cheeks heat up.

"I love you too," I reply, my voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside me. I think this is the happiest I've ever been; I think I'll remember this moment forever.

We spend the rest of the morning together, laughing and sharing stories. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I belong somewhere.

After breakfast, as Ellie and I sit on the couch with our fingers intertwined, Joel comes over with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Merry Christmas, you two," he says with a kind smile, handing us the mugs.

"Merry Christmas," I say.

Alright, yeah. This might be the best Christmas I've ever had.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Can I request something with Jake as the reader is nervous, and she says 'let's talk' and Jake thinks she is breaking up with the system, but she tells him that she's pregnant. Happy ending though pls 😇

~Everything Changes~

Pairing: Moonknight trio (Jake focus) x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: anxieties and brief mentions of childhood traumas

Genre: fluffy af and just a little angst

Summary: You have news for your boyfriends that you do not know how they'll take and your anxieties cause some for them

A/N: This was actually SUCH a cute ask thank you for requesting it I fell in love with the concept immediately, hope you enjoy the result <3

***

You sigh to yourself as you dig through your bag for the keys to your apartment. Like always you shout into the apartment once you open the door.

"I'm back darling are y'all home yet?" You ask, flicking on the main light in the living room. The apartment's too quiet for your boyfriends to be back. It looks like you beat the boys home. That's fine, better even, gives you time to sort out the best way to break the news to them. You honestly have no idea how this conversation is going to go, you've been noticeably distracted thinking about it pretty much all day.

You take a few moments to just sit with yourself in the silence of your empty apartment before putting on some music to get dinner started. Something simple, you know Steven had work today but you can never predict who will actually be fronting by the time they get home. If Donna was particularly horrendous on any given day Jake would take over. If something Khonshu related happened usually Marc would be the one shuffling into your shared home. You wonder how that's going to play into it now that things are about to change so drastically. You're not quite done when the door to the apartment clicks open.

"Hi lovelies." You shoot over your shoulder.

"You're home already?" Jake greets you once the door's open.

"Yeah, but I've not been home long."

"Dinner smells great mi vida." Jake kisses your cheek.

"Thank you, darling. I've made pasta and chicken. I know you're not particularly fond of vegan dishes." You say.

"Well I like yours cariño, your food doesn't taste awful and bland like what I've mostly seen of vegan food."

"Well I appreciate that sentiment I suppose, but I know you still prefer nonvegan." You chuckle.

"That's true, yes, but I'll probably have both anyway." Jake shrugs.

"Was work particularly bad for Steven today?"

"No actually, that horrid Donna woman was out sick, but I missed you. Steven was with you this morning and Marc was out most of last night. Only fair I get some quality time of my own. We agreed."

"You boys are so silly." You laugh.

"Steven wants you to know it's only you that makes us act that way."

"How cute." You muse.

"Yeah he's quite the sweet talker. How was your day?"

"It was fine, I worked through most of the morning and then I had some errands to run." You shrug.

"What sort of errands?"

"A little of this a little of that, some shopping, some dropping off of things, meeting people." You say vaguely. "Dinner's about done, can you grab some plates and forks?"

"Of course." Jake joins you in the kitchen getting plates and utensils while you turn off the oven and the stove. You pull the chicken out of the oven and Jake grabs one and drops it on his plate before you've even put the tray down.

"It's hot Jake be careful!" You warn him as you spoon pasta onto your own plate.

"No worries muñequita, I'll be fine." Jake winks.

"You all always eat like you haven't had any food all day." You shake your head taking a seat on the couch. Jake scoops pasta onto his plate and joins you as you pick something to watch.

"Your food is too good to not." He says. You roll your eyes at him but you don't bother to respond as you start eating. Both of you are pretty quiet through dinner, mostly discussing the show you've chosen to watch through dinner. You still have to talk to them but the words keep getting stuck in your throat. You wish you weren't so worried but this could easily go very wrong. When Jake finishes his meal he stands and kisses your cheek.

"I'll take care of the dishes and then I'm going to hop in the shower." Jake tells you, taking your empty plate from the table.

"Alright." You nod. Okay y/n suck it up, you can't put it off forever. "When you're finished darling we, need to talk." You announce before you can talk yourself out of it again.

"That- sounds ominous. Is everything okay? Should I hold off on the dishes?" 

"No no, you can finish up it's not- urgent." You tell him. Jake washes his hands and turns off the sink.

"What's this about cariño?" Jake asks walking over to you as he dries his hands.

"I have something to tell you- but I'm not sure how you'll react to it." You tell him when he sits beside you.

"You're breaking up with us, aren't you? We should've known this would happen eventually. I warned them you'd grow tired of us. We've exhausted our good fortune I guess- it was only a matter of time before you realized we didn't deserve-"

"Enough. Jake!" You blink at him utterly stunned by his line of thinking.

"You don't have to-"

"Whatever you're about to say, stop because I'm not breaking up with you and I cannot believe you think I'd grow tired of you. How could you sit here and say you don't deserve me or what we have or- Jake, I love you, all of you, with everything that I am. I can't believe that you still doubt that." You shake your head.

"Y/n no one has ever stuck around. Steven is idealistic and Marc is hopeful, if the other shoe drops one of us has to be able to hold it together for all of us I can't-"

"Jake. There is no other shoe to drop. I am not breaking up with you. I'm not tired of you or giving up on us, I don't think you undeserving of the love I have for you. Other people not loving you is not your fault." You tell him gently, grabbing his face in your hands.

"I do want to believe you but it's not easy to unlearn years of trauma plus what else could you possibly have to tell us that you think we'll take poorly?"

"Jake I'm pregnant." You say. Jake's eyes snap up to yours, wide with shock but you can't pinpoint the secondary emotion swirling in them.

"What?" His voice is barely a whisper.

"I'm pregnant. I was at the doctor today about it, we- could have a baby." You say gently, placing a hand on your stomach. You're only a couple of months along so, if they really were against the idea, terminating the pregnancy is still an option but you're not sure you could go through that and be okay after.

"We're going to be parents?" He asks.

"I know we haven't really talked about kids but-" Jake leaps off the couch before you can finish your thought. As if the news only just clicked in his brain he's suddenly whooping loudly. He even pulls you off of the couch with him.

"We're having a child? You're serious?" He scans your face as he waits for your answer.

"Yeah." You nod.

"You're not leaving." He shakes his head.

"No." You answer even though it was less a question and more a confirmation with himself. He pulls you tightly against his chest with a sigh.

"We're having a child muñequita. A child." He says in disbelief. "Do you think we're ready for this?"

"I don't think anyone is ever ready. But we will all figure it out. Together." You say. Jake makes a sound like a snort and you pull away from his embrace with a questioning glance.

"Steven is scolding me for ever daring to think you'd break up with us." Jake tells you with an eye roll.

"Well he's right about that but save the scolding for later sweetheart. Right now let's just- enjoy the thought of this next phase of our lives." You say leaning into Jake's arms again. You had no reason to worry. You knew they would make wonderful dads and it settled your nerves endlessly to hear the joy in Jake's voice over the news. Everything was going to turn out just fine.

***