flyinglust

[artkaninchenbau]

For the record, I did figure that out a long time ago, it just gets funnier the more time passes

[goldsbitch]

That second flight

part 4 to That one Christmas flight

summary: What happens when people stop lying to themselves? Sometimes, you get a good night out of it.

warnings: cheesy af, swear words and alcohoI guess, cliche probably, typos most definitely

Do not fuck it up, do not fuck it up, do not fuck this up.

Hey you? What kind of a message even is that? Ugh. She ruined it. Now she will have to move away and start her life again.

The weather forecast predicted high levels of overreacting for today.

He must have liked the cool girl vibe she somehow gave of on the plane. Y/N prayed for the gods of cool vibes to bless her again.

Lando was just about to start an interview for Sky Sports when he received her message. He imagined this was how it felt to win a podium. On the top of the world. He gave an absolutely charismatic, energetic and funny interview. One that would surely create lots of gifs on the socials. PR manager even high-fived him when they finished. To be honest, he could not wait for a moment of solitude so that he could reply.

"hey" he started. "so I broke the rule, ups" Her reply came instantly.

"I've noticed. But then again, you radiate speeding tickets vibe from miles away. So no surprise."

He smiled, well aware of how efficient the Italian ticketing was running.

"paid one last week, so you got me there" "so, how's your cool student life going?"

"Trying gain some wisdom, as people just feel free to call me dumb on social media these days."

"compliments come in a variety of forms, don't discriminate"

From now on, there was no way back.

//

The next few days consisted of constant texting. Joking around, sending pictures capturing their daily life - both of them keeping in secret that lots of the information shared was nothing new. They were careful, somewhat distancing themselves from any real deep topics. But, days felt like blur, waiting for the next text to come and somehow managing to live the real life in between that. Y/N stayed in most evenings, almost making her friends concerned.

It did not take long enough for famously patient Lando to getting sick of it. They had a week between the next three week round of races. It was now or never. He missed one chance by being mr. mysterious, so mr. direct it was now.

"so, lady. what are you doing this weekend?" he asked out of the blue.

"I dunno. Probably studying, I guess."

"well, you're smart enough, you can skip that. let's meet up."

Y/N pretended to herself that she was second guessing. She headed out, to the bar where her friends were hanging out before they planned on heading to some faculty party. She felt joining them suddenly. Sat quietly, listening to their usual chit chat. Her charade lasted about seven minutes.

"Yes. Let's." she texted and threw her phone deep down to her bag. She was nervous, heart racing and mind quite not catching up yet.

"I need to tell you guys something," she interrupted them and almost demanded immediate attention. Questioning looks followed. "Uh, so I met this guy on a plane. And I'm gonna see him again this weekend."

Saying it like that, she realized that it was all kind of real and that she probably could not explain it in words how bizzare it all felt.

"Aw, that's cute! Tell us more!" Teresa clapped excitedly, the whole weird vibe surrounding her friend making more sense now.

Y/N expected her friends to be more shocked. "Um, yeah. It's just this guy. I don't really know how it's gonna happen, but yeah."

"Is he coming here? Can we meet him?"

Y/N kept the information that they already did to herself. Just in case she is left stranded alone and disappointed.

"I don't...I don't know actually. Yeah."

"We will do as we always do - sharing location and staying by if needed, honey."

Y/N missed a text notification. "great. i'll fly you out to somewhere where we can be alone, not to sound too creepy."

//

She landed an hour after him. Lando sent a picture of him waiting at the airport cafe.

He booked the best hotel room he could find. Well, technically he booked two rooms. Just in case she wanted to keep her distance or if by any chance he fucked up so royally, that she would refuse to share space with him. At least, he could walk away from this like a gentleman.

Since she last him, she forgot just how hot this guy was in person. Seeing him, sitting casually sipping coffee and glued to him phone, she took a moment to study him. It was as if he was tailored specifically to her taste. His clothes covering his godlike body, not too muscular but enough for the sight of his arms sending her to different dimension. The origin of her audacity she had to be the first one to talk to him on the plane was unknown to her. There was no more panic left in her body, as she had done nothing but panicking the whole flight.

She walked and sat opposite to him.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hey yourself," she replied. There was a moment of awkward silence. Turns out there was a bit of panic left in Y/N after all. Last week she though she'd never see this guy. And now she was staring in his eyes.

"Do you want some coffee?," he asked innocently. He looked her up and down, excited to see her. All of his worries he refused to acknowledge were gone. After all, she got up and flew here just to hang out with him. The reality of this filled him with confidence.

"Yes. A small tiny espresso with no milk."

"Great. Let's grab that and hit the road."

Lando's car might have as well run on butterflies alone present in his vehicle. There was absolutely no way for him to drive some random rental car, so he called up McLaren people to provide him one for the night. It came up in the same conversation when he requested personal time off. Both things came to a certain level of surprise, as he had never done this before. Y/N knew she had to work on a group project for one of her minor classes. Just like him, she had done something she would not have dared - and completely ghosted her group for this weekend.

"You look nice, btw," he commented casually.

"Well yeah, when you're not on an overnight flight across half of the world wearing airport attire, it makes thing easier."

"Hm, I would say sweatpants have some magic to them."

It was hard for Y/N to get the image of him out of her head.

"So, where is my lovely kidnapper taking me?"

They discussed prior to this that the vibe they would like out of this was a casual dinner and then finding the shittiest club possible and have some fun, trying to remain as private as possible yet within the vicinity of the small Italian city.

"My assistant found this lovely little place in the centre. Don't get mad, but I had him completely book it out. You know, the privacy thing," he said with more insecurity than one would expect.

Y/N picked up on that and tried to lighten up the mood. It seemed a bit excessive to do that, but he probably knew what he was doing.

"Your assistant," she gagged over dramatically. "Jesus, am I not worth enough for you to google on your own? Mr. Busy man. Was he also the one who found me online them?" she joked?

"I'm sure I'd have to hire a special person to that if I planned on outsourcing it."

"Creep."

"You love it."

And she did.

He parked in front of the restaurant, without a care for the world.

"So you're telling me we're making a big deal about keeping a secret that you're here, yet you decide to park like a proper asshole?" she remarked while he opened the door for her. Jokes were making her focus on something else than the fact she was falling for him too hard.

"Oh, you're going absolutely hate my plan," he laughed as they were entering the full on empty restaurant.

"Wow, look at that. I invited all my friends!" he whispered to her ear before addressing the owner.

"Hello, you must be Dario?"

This Dario person smiled brightly at him. "Ah, mister Papaya!" Lando nodded and Y/N rolled her eyes. Dario then started speaking Italian without a care of the world. Language wise deaf Lando did not count for the fact people just did not speak English in this part of Italy. A tiny crack in his plan. What was he suppose to do, call Carlos? But, Y/N having spend a good year or two studying there was there to ease the situation. She whipped out her B1 Italian and greeted the man. Dario's happiness filled up the room.

He seated them and immediately brought local red wine and giving a long talk about where this wine was from and how his grandma used to pick up the grapes herself and how the notes did this and that. Y/N tried to translate at the beginning, but Dario looked like was ready to give a TED talk. She started to loose the grasp of the story, which Lando observed. And like good gentleman he helped her out. No, of course not, when he saw her getting lost, he put on a super interested face and asked about seven follow up questions. Y/N was super annoyed. The kind of annoyed that creates a smile on your face.

When this showdown finally ended, Y/N nearly gulped the wine down. "So rude, Dario just said, you're suppose to sit it and let it roll," said Lando and with too much affect sipped his wine. "Aah," he took a deep breath and the bit his tongue. Y/N stuck her tongue out completely like a five year old child. "Yes, I can your red tongue, that's also one of the reasons why you sip it."

They sat, talked and laughed. He seemed genuinely interested when she blabbed a little bit too long about her latest projects. And then he asked her for a feedback on his latest merch, which by sheer coincidence included lots of photos of him. It was hard to admit how much he enjoyed the idea of her looking at him.

"So, um. I'm not sure I understood Dario correctly. But it looks like he insists on getting us the local speciality," she said hesistantly.

"Well, only if his grandma would approve. But why is this strange look on your face?"

"I must have gotten it wrong. Because burnt pasta just sounds wrong. If I wanted that, I could have stayed and have my roommate cook for us."

"Hm, that is an interesting idea." Lando pretended he did not know her roommate's name.

Once Darion brought out the burnt pasta, the couple had a hard time not to laugh.

"When in Rome...well not in Rome, but you get the idea."

"Why is this good?" Y/N proclaimed with her mouth full to the limit.

Lando laughed. "Ah, we have a lady at the table, I see. I mean yeah, I am not supposed to be having pasta now, but this is so weirdly good."

They finished their strange pasta and the bottle of wine. Said goodbye to Dario, Y/N tried not to think on how much it cost to close a restaurant down.

"Wait, what are we going to do about the car? We can't drive now."

"Not to sound like a complete asshole, but I'd like we remove the WE from any sentence including driving now at the beginning, if that is ok. And like I said at the beginning, you're gonna hate this."

"Go on, Lando boy. Tell me."

"Yeah, the car was provided by my employer. And they really need me, so I'm just going to leave the car here to get towed and inform them later."

"Jesus, why!"

"Well, I figured we'll get a taxi in the morning. I want to enjoy all the time I have with you. Dealing with the car is not on the menu today."

There was nothing for Y/N to reply. She was having too much fun to be thinking.

They found what seemed to be the shittiest bar playing 80's and 90's songs, weirdly colored lights swinging out of the rhythm and with people there consisting of old papas and few probably underaged kids. They brought their own wine bottle from Dario, Lando paid 100 euro for two glasses and for the bartender leaving them alone. It did not take long for Y/N to break out to the dance floor. Lando watched her clumsy yet somehow elegant moves for a moment, before he joined her. They danced, as if they were the only people there, laughing and completely ignoring the looks they were getting. And to the tones of remix of Brother Louis, they kissed again. And this time, they kept kissing until late hours, hand roaming around each other, as if they were two teenagers making out for the first time.

part 5

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Tagged all those who like to suffer: @prudyhoo @anuksunamon @sagestack @esquerkaren @ushygushybaby @ilove-tswizzle @thehufflepuffavenger1  @superlegend216 @mehrmonga @lovely-blackinnon @mylifeihate1029 @lausdigitaldiary @tswizzleismother

[intoanotherworld23]

Dirty Little Secret

Pairing: Reader x Joel Miller

Warnings: MATURE CONTENT AHEAD NSFW 18+, mention of sex toys, description of sex, female masturbation, consensual sex, unprotected sex, swear words, cheating

Word count: 2386 words

Summary: Joel Miller owns his own company and is your boss and you’re his personal assistant. He’s the most incredibly handsome man you’ve ever met but unfortunately he’s married. Then one night he unexpectedly comes knocking on your door

Check out my other works on my Hall Of Hunks

"He does what for a living?" Your friend exclaimed on the other side of the phone making you cringe at her voice.

"He designs sex toys." Repeating yourself but in a much lower tone as you laid down in bed. "He owns his own company."

"Fuckin a Y/N." She sighed loudly making you laugh at her reaction. "How in the hell did you get this job?"

"I saw an ad somewhere that he was looking for a personal assistant so I applied and got the job." Not really wanting to tell her the full story of what happened during the interview.

"Does he get to ya know.. test the toys on you?" You could hear the teasing tone in her voice making you shake your head.

"Absolutely not." Scoffing loudly although it would be kind of hot if he did. "I keep track of his schedules and just run his errands."

"The man has to be kinky as fuck." Surprisingly she wasn't asking a question it was more of a statement to herself.

"I would have no idea about that." Even though it wouldn't surprise you at all if he was.

The man probably had a whole room filled with all kinds of toys. He just screamed dominance and power. The type of guy to call you a good girl as you he bent you over his lap, and spanked you until your ass was on fire.

"Is he at least hot?" She went from shocked to interested very quickly.

"He is absolutely gorgeous." Humming to yourself picturing him in your head, and how good he looked in his dark gray suit. "I've never seen a man more handsome than him."

"Is he married?" A frown appeared on your face hating the fact he was married.

"Unfortunately yes he is married." Both of you groaning at the fact, and a sense of envy washed over you.

"She probably forced herself on him, and made him marry her." She replied making you burst out laughing. "Or she has huge tits."

"Well let's just say I know her boobs aren't small." Remembering the picture you saw on his desk of the two of them. "Or real."

"Well at least you get to stare at him all day." Her words reassuring but it didn't help your feelings at all.

"I guess yeah." Shrugging your shoulders as you bent your knees moving them side to side.

"Does this man come with a handsome name?" She asked you as you sat up and tried not to moan while saying it.

"His name is Joel Miller." Hearing her groaning on the other line as she mumbled something to herself.

"God I can imagine screaming that name out loud." She was more promiscuous than you ever were, and she had no filter.

"Jesus you haven't even met the guy and your more horny for him than I am." Joking as she laughed and you could picture her flipping you off.

"Holy mother of god I just googled him, and I about creamed my pants." Of course she was instantly looking him up wanting to know exactly what he looked like.

"Hope you have an extra pair of panties to spare." Raising your eyebrows as she laughed loudly.

"Well I know what I would be doing that you wouldn't." You knew exactly where she was going with this.

"And what's that?" Humoring her with a question even though you already knew the answer.

"That you would never grow some lady balls and fuck him." Her vulgar words had you rolling your eyes as you giggled. "I would be all over that in a heartbeat."

"I know you would." Agreeing with her instantly knowing her history. "Then you would get fired."

"At least I would get to fuck someone incredibly handsome."

A part of you became jealous hearing those words come out of her mouth wanting this man all to yourself. Constantly wishing and fantasizing that he wasn't married to his wife, but was married to you instead.

"I bet his cock is incredible and huge." If you had water in your mouth it would be all over you. "His wife probably needs crutches after him."

This time you weren't laughing or shaking your head at her. Your mind went to what he looked like below the belt. Picturing him standing there naked stroking himself to the sight of you.

Imagining what it would feel like if you wrapped your hands around it. Wondering what it would feel like when it would slip inside you, and just how much he could stretch you out. Imagining him taking you in every position, and never once letting up.

Feeling your panties getting a little wet at the thought. Your insides were clenching, and you felt your body become heated with desire. Your eyes glazing over as you squeezed your thighs together trying to relieve the pressure.

"Alright I'm gonna go masturbate." Her voice interrupted your perverted thoughts making you come back to reality. "Talk to you later byeeee."

Hanging up the phone before you could even respond. Tossing your phone to the side as you laid there with a hand on your lower stomach. Your mind on Joel unable to get him out of your head.

A part of you felt bad for not really telling her what was going on, and what really happened. For now it was something you wanted to keep to yourself, and hope and pray nobody else would find out about it.

Spreading your legs as you bit your lower lip your hand started to move down. Under your pants feeling a wet spot on your panties. Your fingers moving the thin material to the side as you rubbed your pussy in slow circles.

Increasing the speed of your fingers as you rubbed yourself in figure eights. Brushing your hips against your now throbbing clit making your tremble. Wanting nothing more than to feel Joel's skin touching yours in such a sensual and passionate way.

Closing your eyes as your juices coated your fingers before you stuck two of them inside of you. Gasping as you thrust them in and out imagining it was Joel who was the one fingering you.

Your other hand reached up to grab your breast massaging the mass in rhythm with your thrusting. Pinching your nipple till it was hard causing you to moan out loud. Your cheeks heating up at the possibility someone heard you.

Moving your hips around as you were grinding against your fingers hitting a deeper angle. Curling them upwards as you lifted your back off the bed, and tossed your head into the pillows.

The sounds of your moans, and the squishing sound from your wet pussy echoing around the room. The room was becoming so thick and heavy with your own lust you were so consumed in it.

Picturing Joel bending you over his desk, and drilling his cock so deep inside of you that you could feel him in your stomach. Kissing your neck and sucking on the flesh to be sure, and leave his mark.

Just as you felt your stomach tightening, and your release just right there a knock came from the door. Grunting as you pulled your fingers out wiping your juices on the cover.

Adjusting yourself before you got out of bed to go see who was interrupting you. Opening the door a huge grin appearing on your face at who was standing on the other side. His eyes looking your body up and down with a dark gleam.

"Was I interrupting something?"

His tone mocking knowing exactly what you were doing noticing your panting, and the sweat along your forehead. Feeling your heartbeat echoing in your ears knowing you got caught, and he wasn't stupid.

"Nope." Answering a little too quickly raising his suspicions.

Joel shut the door behind him his eyes never once leaving you. He was hungry for you and had been thinking about you all day. He recognized your scent and his senses went into overdrive. His inner animal was banging against the caged doors screaming to be released.

"I can smell that sweet cunt from here." Sniffing the air an audible gasp leaving your mouth at his choice of words.

"I couldn't wait any longer."

Whining as he backed you up into a wall growling when he pressed his body into yours. Feeling the warmth of his body heat radiating onto yours making the blood rise to your cheeks. It was like all the air was sucked out from your lungs as your true fantasy was about to come true.

Never did you expect something like this to happen. Thinking that he never took an interest in you, and you'd never get to live out one of your dreams.

"Mmm now I'm gonna have to decide what to do to you." Towering over your figure staring down at you like a predator ready to attack its prey.

——————————————

"Joel." Choking out a moan as your back arched off the bed.

The smirk on his face grew even larger hearing you moaning his name. If anything it encouraged him to keep pounding into you harder.

"Can feel you squeezin my cock sweetheart." He chuckled as he watched your face contort in pleasure. "Such a tight little pussy for me."

Feeling your orgasm building up again as you turned your head to the side, and gripped the sheets beneath you. Biting onto the pillow trying to muffle your screaming.

"Say my name again baby." He whispered into your ear as he sharply thrusted inside of you making you squeal.

"Oh god Joel." Your toes curling against the bed as he tightened his grip on your hips. "Joel."

"Fuck that's it sweetheart let everyone know whose fucking you so good." His thrusting was slowing down, but just as powerful.

"Such a good girl."

Rotating his hips at a certain angle had your legs trembling. Leaning forward so he could attach his lips to yours. His mouth swallowing all your moans his movements never once missing beat.

"Your pussy so sweet it won't let me go." His stated matter of factly as his fingers reached down to rub your clit.

"God the sounds you make for me sweetheart." His eyes trained down to where his cock was disappearing. Your juices coating his cock making him groan at the sight.

Closing your eyes for a brief moment as the pleasure was taking over your body. Feeling a hand grip your chin making you open your eyes to see those chocolatey brown eyes staring you down.

"Look at me when you cum around my cock." He growled as the veins in his neck popped out.

Leaning on his forearms so his hands were on either side of your face. It was such an intimate moment, but you found yourself entranced with his eyes. Like he was holding onto you and didn't want to let you go.

"Oh fuck right there." You screamed as he hit your sweet spot. The pleasure boiling to the top you felt you might explode.

"Harder Joel."

Opening your legs even further so he could thrust deeper. The muscles straining to the point it was painful, but feeling his condition inside you motivated you to keep them open.

"Such a cock hungry slut for me." Groaning against the skin of your neck before his lips moved downward towards your breasts.

Sucking on the nipples turning them raw and hard. One of your hands reaching out to grip his hair as your senses were overwhelmed. Feeling him smile against your flesh as to how he was making you feel.

"Can feel how fucking close you are sweetheart." His words making your legs shake. "Pussy is just begging for me."

The moans were just spilling from your lips you didn't care who heard you. Your body twitching and moving all around unable to control yourself anymore. The warmth was spreading through out your whole body.

"Cum for me baby." His voice straining as he was trying to control himself as well. "Cum around my cock."

"Be a good girl and squeeze that pussy for me."

He encouraged with his filthy words. Feeling that burning in the pit of your stomach as you were on the edge. Joel was loving the reactions you were having towards him, and if he could take a video of everything he would.

His movements stopped as his cock remained still inside of you as your pussy clenched hard around him. Both of your groaning as you looked each other in the eye.

Burying his head in the crook of your neck while he catches his breath. Rolling over so he's on his back as well. The room is silent and neither of you speak for the next few minutes. It was awkward or uncomfortable which you were thankful for.

When neither of you said anything you decided to get up and start getting dressed. Joel continued to lay there with a confused look on his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting dressed I figured you'd want to leave as soon as possible." Your tone harsh and cold mentally preparing yourself for rejection.

Plus you figured after this Joel would fire you since he wouldn't want to deal with the drama that would soon take place. A man like him didn't want some woman he slept with once to become obsessed with him and disrupt his life.

"Come here." He patted the bed indicating you to lay back down.

Crawling back into bed he pulled your body close to his, and you snuggled against him relishing in the warmth of his body. He could sense something was wrong, but you just didn't want him to see you get emotional so quickly.

"What's wrong?" He asked you with genuine concern in his voice.

"Am I fired?"

"Why would I fire you?"

"Cause we just had sex, and I thought you weren't allowed to sleep with your assistant?"

"I'm the boss sweetheart I can do whatever I want." Grabbing your face and planting his lips on yours for a sensual kiss.

Maybe you were completely wrong about him, and things you were worried about were just all in your head.

"So don't worry about getting fired." He reassured you. "Also I'm not done with you yet."

[jq37]

Seeing you describe your opinion on Wish (the movie itself) as "def do have oh boy" just has me curious now. What is it?

OK, so I let this sit in my inbox for a while because I planned to see Wish and I figured that it would be more fair to wait until I had a full picture of what the movie was before I started talking about it and...yeahhhhhhh having seen it my opinion has not changed. It's just intensified. 

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW (lol, this got past 7k words)

And, fair warning, it's pretty critical so if you don't want to read something critical about this movie then this is your exit.

tl;dr: I think the movie Wish fails at basically everything it sets out to do and it's an absolutely awful 100th Anniversary movie for Disney. 

When I say it fails at everything, I mean EVERYTHING*. I'm going to break this into sections for organizational purposes. 

*The one thing I'll give it a slight pass on is the art style which I don't love but also wasn't like make or break for me. I would have preferred true 2D or a better implementation of the blended 2D/3D style, but if the movie was otherwise of the quality of something like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots, the animation wouldn't have bothered me. Like, I watched S1 of The Dragon Prince with no problem. I can forgive janky animation--and it wasn't even super janky. Just odd. What I can't forgive is literally everything else about the movie. 

Characters

How is this movie so full of characters and yet devoid of characters that matter? There are a million characters in this movie and basically only two of them matter: The King and Asha. But neither of them are compelling in any meaningful way.

There's a lot of to do about the last batch of Disney protags being very same-y in a quirky, all fluff and no substance way and I don't really buy into that. I don't think that Raps, Anna, Moana, and Mirabel are palate swapped carbon copies of each other. They have unique backgrounds and struggles and motivations. I feel like they're all quirky, sure. But they all also have an identity BEYOND being quirky. 

I do NOT get that with Asha. I don't feel like I have a good idea of what makes her tick at all. Like, she's kind. She wants her grandpa to get his wish. She wants to be the King's apprentice so she can help people. The queen (we'll get to her) exposits to us that she cares about people. But being kind isn't in itself an entire personality. The way Mulan is kind (defying the law to spare her father the ravages of war in his old age) isn't the same way as the way Cinderella is kind (making clothes for her mouse friends and protecting them from the cat). Asha just has a generalized want to help people, which is an admirable trait, but doesn't give us much to latch onto. It's so telling to me that in a movie called "Wish" our main character's wish is just, "To have more than just this" And yes, Disney princesses wanting "more" is literally their whole thing, but it's always more specific than that. Mirabel wants to prove herself to her family. Rapunzel wants to experience life beyond her tower. Even Snow White--the Disney princess with the flimsiest story--wants to find her true love. That's a concrete motivation! Asha doesn't feel real to me as a character. It feels like the thing that drives her is that the plot needs to happen and that's it. 

The other important character in the movie is King Magnifico who was supposed to be a return to form for Disney in introducing another classic villain but he just fails at that so hard. The idea that he could stand toe to toe with any of the OGs like Lady Tremaine or Scar or even the latest villains like Dr. Facillier or Mother Gothel is laughable. He just doesn't have any gravitas. And his characterization is so odd. You can tell that they were trying to give him a "reasonable man doing unreasonable things for a good reason” backstory (both because of some images in the film and some stuff in interviews I read) but then they just...don't actually give the backstory? Like, they imply that the backstory exists but I don't remember them going into it at all. Which like, he doesn't NEED a tragic backstory. He can just be doing what he's doing because he's evil. Ursula didn't need a reason to want to rule the seas. She's just a boss bitch and she wants power. I don't need to dissect that any further. BUT if you tell me there’s a reason your villain is doing something, I need to see that reason. I don't understand why they would include that in the movie, just to do nothing with it. 

Beyond that, he's written in such a weird way. Like, despite the "maybe he has a point" angle they seem to want to go with, he's very obviously a self-absorbed ruler--like he'll say things like, "Yeah, I am super handsome" to his wife--which immediately dumps him into the camp villain category. But he's doing the controlling things he does in the movie of his own accord to get people to stick to the status quo he set up. Fine. That's a fine thing for a camp villain to be doing. But then, at a certain point in the movie, he just uses a forbidden magic evil book (which he has for some reason) that just fills him with evil, green magic and makes him 100% unhinged all of a sudden. And that's just...boring? Like, anything interesting you might have been able to do before that point about power and control and how sometimes you make a wrong choice with good intentions is just gone at that point. It sucks because there were a lot of right answers here. You could just make him evil because he's evil. That works. You could have him be seriously convinced that what he's doing is right and be willing to do whatever he needs to do to keep things that way. That works. You could say that he started out trying to be morally upright and then slid into enjoying the praise and control just a bit too much--and I think maybe that's what they were going for. But it does not come across that way. He just seems like a dick to the point where you're kinda questioning how he's pulling any of this off. Asha asks him one question and he flies off the handle. How does everyone not know he's an asshole if it takes so little to fluster him?

So I don't like our main hero or villain. But there are still SO MANY CHARACTERS in this movie. 

You've got Asha's SEVEN FRIENDS. Yes, SEVEN. they're based off of the seven dwarves, which is cute enough but do you know what happens when you give the hero seven sidekick characters? None of them get developed at all and you have to treat them like a unit. Only two of them matter at all--Dahlia (her best friend and the one who actually does more than just make dumb jokes or, worse, nothing at all) and Simon (the one who betrays them--more on that later). There is no story reason for them to have shoved in this many sidekicks. Especially since she also has…

Her animal sidekick, Valentino. Who is a very cute goat until he gets sprinkled with stardust and boom. He can talk. Which immediately made me like him less. Flounder he aint. The whole joke with him is that he's a baby goat with a rich, deep, baritone voice. That's it. Almost every joke he makes is either about that or his butt. Boo. 

Then, there's the Queen--Queen Amaya--who is such a NOTHING character. There's no effort made to build up her relationship with the king so that her flipping on him later has an emotional impact. I have no idea what she cares about or desires. When she shows up, she's basically acting like the king's secretary, which is weird. I don't think that's what a queen does. There's a moment during a later song when she joins the "revolution" and it just has zero impact because again, it's like, I don't know who you are in any significant way! She seems nice, and I would love to live somewhere ruled by someone boring and benign, but that makes for an awful movie character. 

I almost wrote "lastly, there's the star" because I totally forgot about Asha's mom and grandpa. They're in this movie too but even though Asha's whole motivation at the start of the movie is getting her grandpa's wish granted, we never get a good idea of what their relationship is. They have like, one quick scene at the top which tells us nothing, then they're in a crowd scene later, then Asha has dinner with them later the same day and that's it. And, again, we get nothing significant. Compared to something like Mulan where you have a good idea of what Mulan's relationship is with every member of her family by the time the military order comes in or Encanto where between the musical number at the top and the first group scene, you get an entire picture, this is really weak. Again, so weak that I completely forgot that they were even in this movie. 

And NOW lastly, there's the star. Who is like, cute enough but he really makes me annoyed because I've seen the original concepts and they would have been so much more interesting! That's the case for the queen too, so I'll talk about both of them together here. 

I am sorry to inform you if you didn't already know but the queen was originally supposed to be evil too.

She was supposed to be a part of an evil power couple with Magnifico and how dope would that have been? We've never gotten that from Disney before. Imagine! Disney Villain Song Duet! A Hot couples costume for next Halloween! An actual relationship that's developed in this movie! But nope. They unflavor-blasted her into the paper thin, placeholder of a character we have in the movie. 

And the Star went through a couple of concepts. One, was the spirit of her dead grandpa, taking a younger form, which isn't my fave one but it at least would give her a relationship with this person who is supposedly an important person in her life, something we don't have in the movie right now. My favorite alternate concept is that originally, the Star was supposed to be her celestial love interest. And listen, anyone who's followed me for long enough knows that I am a big advocate for platonic relationships and FRONTING platonic relationships. I don't think that a story needs a romantic relationship to be compelling and I think forcing one in almost always makes it worse. But there is NO central relationship in this movie to carry it. Asha has too many friends for any one of them to make a serious impact so it's not a friendship story. Her mom and grandpa are nothing characters, so it's not a family story. She interacts with the star a lot, but that's basically just her talking to herself because the start doesn’t talk. So nothing is really there to latch onto. If they'd decided to go with the romance angle, it would have forced them to focus on at least ONE relationship and it would have been a nice way to throwback to classic Disney movies from the past. Much better than just sticking her with SEVEN WHOLE USELESS FRIENDS. Literally, all they provide is backup vocals in the fight song. Special Dishonorable Mention to Gabo. Man I hate that dude. 

So, to recap this section, Asha's personality is only sketched out in the loosest possible way, King Magnifico is entirely half-baked, and there are so many side characters that no one can form meaningful relationships with each other. And it's really a shame because (1) they very easily could have pared down the cast and (2) very recently Disney put out Encanto which handles a large cast beautifully. There are a ton of Madrigals but I can tell you what the deal of each and every one is. This could have been done well and they fumbled so hard. 

Concept

OK, so next up is the general plot and concept. This story takes place in the city of Rosas which is ruled by King Magnifco. It is supposedly a paradise, but much like a YA dystopian novel, it has a twist: When you turn 18, Magnifico takes your wish away from you and puts in in his wish room with the promise that it might be granted at one of the monthly wish granting ceremonies. Once your wish is taken from you, you are "unburdened" and you're "free" from having to pursue it. You don't even remember what it was. 

There's a kernel of something interesting there. A ruler making his subjects docile, placid zombies that won't challenge him by taking away their ambition? That's interesting. People willingly giving away a part of their heart to dull the pain of trying and failing? Interesting. Someone doing this with no ill intent, but rather genuinely thinking that this half-existence is better than the heartbreak of the alternative? Interesting!

But the actual implementation of this idea? Ughhhhhh. 

So first off, just logistically, Magnifico grants one wish a month more or less (Asha says once a month and in his villain song, he said he granted 14 wishes "last year"). So like, realistically, most of these people have to know their wishes will never be granted, right? Because of like...how math works? Asha acts like it's a big shock when she learns that most wishes won't be granted but like girl...math. 

Secondly, there are two moments that are meant to imply that having your wish taken away turns you into a shell of yourself. Asha's friend (who betrays her) Simon is said to be all sleepy and more boring since he turned 18 and had his wish taken. And then, later in the movie, we see two new residents have their wishes taken, and they look a little disturbed after it happens. But, here's the thing. NO ONE ELSE IN THE MOVIE ACTS LIKE THAT. Asha's mom and grandpa act like normal people. So do all the other characters. It’s not consistent enough to establish that this is what’s on the line. Does taking your wish away make you a robot or not?

And does everyone just have one wish? I know I could fill a full sheet of paper, front and back, with things that matter very dearly to me. If you took away my wish to write for TV someday, that would still leave my wishes to travel the world and get a comic book adaptation of one of my novels and a whole lot of other things! Does taking your main wish away make you lose your ability to form new wishes? Logistically, how does any of this work? And you can't just say, "It's a metaphor. Don't think too hard about it," because there's a scene where the citizens start asking these questions. Like, "What happens if we have a new wish than from when we initially made it?" As if having unnamed side characters ask the questions first will alleviate the need to answer them. It's not lamp shading at that point. You're just being lazy. 

Also, this is more a me thinking about the implications too hard than an actual plot problem but if he's taking the wishes at 18 I feel like a lot of peoples' greatest desire at that stage in their life is, "I want a romantic partner." And if the central conceit of this premise is that once your wish is taken, you stop wanting to pursue it then the city of Rosas is gonna have a population Collapse problem very soon. 

The characters--especially Asha--get so emotional about wishes. It's like they're giving a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic speech every time they talk about it (except MLP has MUCH better writing). It's bizarre to see Asha's mom get her wish back and be like, "Oh my wish. My precious wish!" when she doesn't act any differently than a normal person before or after she has it back (Sidenote: She says this and she's holding the wish ball but we never see what that wish is and that's maddening. Why do I know what the dream of every patron in the Snuggly Duckling is, but they didn't show that? Ridic.) It almost is like, being in contact with a wish ball is a quasi-religious experience that drives the characters’ actions (Asha and the King are both totally enraptured while singing together in the Wish Room), but because we, the audience, are very much not in contact with the wish balls, we're not getting ANY of that. 

Anyway, to recap this section: the central premise of how wishes work and how taking them affects people is not treated consistently or explained well, which makes the stakes feel very undefined and sloppy. 

Pacing

This has to be its own section, because it's the thing that baffled me most when I watched this movie. So, here's the setup. Asha is going to interview for the internship with the king. She wants to help people and she has the secondary motive of wanting to try and get her 100-year-old grandpa's wish granted because he's not getting any younger. 

Here is the entire sequence: Asha is led into the interview by Queen Amaya. Asha is awkward but makes a good enough first impression that Magnifico is moved to show her the wish room (for some reason). They sing a duet about the wishes where they’re both dazzled by the Wish balls. During the song, Asha finds her Grandpa's wish and after the song, she asks him to grant it. He looks at the wish and says while she has good intentions, it's too dangerous to grant--as are most wishes. She asks why not give them back then and he immediately flies off the handle and starts ranting about how HE decides which wishes get granted and what everyone deserves! 

Their first meeting and him showing his true colors happens in the SAME SCENE. It's like 7-10 minutes and they just RUSH through all of that. And it's like, why? Did they really need to get to that dumbass star song (we'll get to that) faster? 

I know that he isn't a twist villain so we don't need to keep the fact that he’s the bad guy under wraps. And, the way the story is structured, she needs to learn what he's doing before she can rebel against him. But it's not gonna be a big, impactful moment if you're rushing from beat to beat like this is an essay that's due in twenty minutes and you started five minutes ago. 

And it really makes you wonder, if Asha can blow the whole lid off this conspiracy within ten minutes of meeting this guy, why is this not happening more often? Between how obviously smarmy the King is, how paltry the wish granting system is, and how easily Asha was able to start asking questions and get him to blow his top (something that happens again later when the citizens start asking question–it literally drives him into his villain song) I don't believe that this wouldn't have happened earlier (Sidenote: Finding out that it HAD happened earlier and that Asha is the latest in a line of failed apprentices who questioned him? More interesting premise). 

So to recap: I have no idea why this movie is paced like this but it's not doing it any favors. 

Humor

Humor is very subjective so you can take this with a huge grain of salt but I think this is a deeply unfunny movie. 

The jokes fall into about three main categories:

(1) Quirky Humor: This is like Asha babbling and tripping over her words. The scene in the trailer where she's like, "Is my face drooping?" is a good example. It's not really a joke but it's clearly an attempt at humor that I don't think meets the mark. It's also in the songs with, for instance, the animals or the King saying slang that doesn't match how they talk or you'd expect them to talk at all and it just feels deeply incongruent, not funny. 

(2) Referential Humor: This is probably what bothered me the most because it was just so so very eye-roll inducing. And listen, I love a good reference. Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time. I don’t begrudge them for putting a few references in their 100th Anniversary movie. But ugh. There is a scene after the king's gone crazy where he's destroying wish bubbles for power and he's like, looking at the wishes and making a quip before he crushes them. And for the second one he goes, "Oh you want a nanny for your kids? Definitely  POPPING this one!" And he might as well have looked at the camera and said, "Get it? Get it?" and it took 6 months off my lifespan. (Sidenote: He he does a direct ref with the first two wish bubbles--Peter Pan and Mary Poppins–and then he just makes a general ref to the concept of true love with the last one and it's like, come on at least rule of threes this if you're gonna do it. Commit to your awful bit!)

(3) Kiddie Humor: This is where things get especially subjective because maybe a little kid would find this stuff really funny and they are a part of the target audience so that's valid. But it doesn't add much substance to the movie. This is like the goat being like, "I found a secret passage with my butt" or leading a chicken choir or singing the line, "So that's where all the balls of gas come from" while sticking his butt in the air--a lot of these have to do with the goat and his butt now that I think about it. 

I think I only laughed at one thing in the movie that was meant to be at least partially funny--when the Queen interrupts the fight song and everyone is like "Oh shit, we're busted!" before she starts singing along. 

So to recap: Sometimes a movie has a weak story but it's super funny and that makes up for it. This is not one of those movies.

Music

This is the one thing I already knew before I watched this movie: The music in this movie is bad. 

Like, fullstop, no qualifications bad. Not bad for a Disney movie. Not bad for this story. Just bad.

I was a little confused by the choice to pick a pop artist instead of someone who specializes in musical theater style music for this project, but a more pop-y musical doesn't automatically mean a worse musical. Sure, maybe it's a weird choice to pay homage to the past 100 years of Disney movies, but it could be good. I love Six the Musical.

But that's the problem. The songs aren't just unfitting. They're not just un-Disney. They're fully BAD. They feel so half-baked and God, I've never been so assaulted by slant rhymes in my life. Like, this bothers me to the point where I have to go through the entire tracklist. I can't just make a blanket statement, I have to show you what I mean:

1) Welcome to Rosas: This whole song sounds like someone listened to “Where you Are” from Moana (the "consider the coconut" song), “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast, and “The Family Madrigal” from Encanto and was like, "I could do that". And then they couldn't. It's not really catchy and it's pretty repetitive. Super forgettable. 

Worst Line: Honestly, this song is too boring to have a worst line. 

2) At All Costs: This is the duet that Asha and Magnifico sing. Before I saw the movie, I thought it was going to be Asha singing about a wish and Magnifico singing to his wife to set up the eventual rift between them but that was before I realized that this movie doesn't believe in relationship building. Some of the movie's worst musical sins are on display here. Turns of phrases that seem like they were written by AI and bizarre syntax. 

Like what does, "You pull me in, like some kind of wind" mean? That's not what wind does. Why would anyone ever say, "Felt this? No, I haven't" instead of "I haven't felt this?" That's so awkward. 

Worst Line: "Leave you here, I don't wanna. I wanna [promise as one does]." My feelings about this line could be a whole other essay, but I've been writing this for 2 hours already so I have to move on. 

3) This Wish: This is the big "I Want" song and it fails on several levels. It fails in comparison to all the songs it’s standing in the shadow of--like the last “I Want” song we got is, I believe, “Waiting on a Miracle” and man! How can you not feel for Mirabel after watching her go through everything she goes through at the start of the movie and it getting topped with her being excluded from the family portrait? You see all the build up (including the implied build up from before the movie started) and you see why it's all bubbled up to the point where she has no choice but to sing about it! With Asha, there isn't a whole lifetime of angst that's bubbling up to make her sing this song. Everything that's happened to her has happened over the hour of like eight hours tops. She meets the king, finds out about the king, realizes the whole system is bad, and then gets into an argument with her family who's drunk the Kool-Aid and doesn't wanna hear what she has to say (which makes no impact on us because we have no idea what their relationship is). That's it. It doesn't feel like the movie has earned the song.

And then with “Waiting for a Miracle” the music itself is plaintive and soaring. Like, I just paused writing to listen to it and I couldn't help but sing along and pour a little of my actual IRL "I Want" energy into it. It's a song that feels very real. “This Wish” isn't any of that. And it's not the actresses' fault! She's pouring her whole heart into it and she consistently does all movie. But the song is just, bland. Like I said, "I want to have more than this" is too weak a hook to hang your whole song on–especially when it’s the song that’s supposed to be the thesis of your whole movie.  

Worst Line: "So I look up at the stars to guide me/And throw caution to every warning sign." That's not a thing people say and also it doesn't mean anything. If anything, it sounds like she's saying that she's being extra cautious at the warning signs! You can't just throw words together haphazardly and expect them to retain their meaning!

4) I'm a Star: This is, imo, the worst song on the whole track. A friend of mine described it as sounding like a song from a preschool science show and that's exactly it, but there's more to it than that. 

First of all, a big part of the reason this song exists is to set up the fact that humans are made of stardust because that's a plot point in the climax. But there didn't need to be a song about that. That would be like if Frozen 2 had a song about how water has memory. But like, OK. If the song was a bop, it wouldn't matter that it was superfluous. Haus of Holbein in Six does NOT need to be there, but I enjoy it! I do NOT enjoy this song however. 

This is something I alluded to earlier, but this soundtrack in general and this song specifically sounds like it's trying to do LMM's schtick but poorly. And I know some people don't like his whole style of music (I personally like it) but love him or hate him, his style without his skill? Awful. The presentation of fun facts in the middle of a fun song makes me think of his "Look it Up" in “Shiny” or "That's true" in “A Winter's Ball”. And there's a part where a turtle (we'll get to the talking animals) sings "See we're all just little nebulae in a nursery/From supernovas now we've grown into our history/We're taking whys right out of mystery, closure/Now we're taking in all the star exposure" And it really sounds like someone doing their best to emulate Lin's flow in things like Mirabel's aside to Mariano in “The Family Madrigal” or any number of songs I could name from Hamilton. But it just falls so flat here. It sounds so preschool and cheesy. And not preschool in a fun way. Backyardigans would never. 

Also, this song is sung by a bunch of talking animals (the Star gives them the ability to talk) and I find them so obnoxious. They say stuff like, "Did we just blow your mind?" with the "boom" sound effect and I hate it. Maybe kids will like them, I dunno. I refuse to get into it further. 

Worst Line: This song completely misuses the word allegory, which I hate, and it rhymes it with "excitatory" which I hate more (and I am saying this as someone who has made peace with the fact that Schwartz rhymes "nasty" with "flabbergasty" in Disenchanted) but there is only one line in this song that can be considered the true worst line because it's my least favorite line in the whole movie. A dumbass, stoner-sounding deer named Bambi (boo) sings, "Ooh, I'm a star! Watch out world, here I are"

They rhyme the word star--not a hard word to rhyme at all--with HERE I ARE. 

I firmly believe someone should go to jail for that. 

5) This is The Thanks I Get?!: This is the much anticipated and extremely disappointing villain song. There's just no gravitas and it's not clever enough to be very fun. It's just kinda bopping along which is eh, kind of fun at best, but like everything else in this movie, doesn't leave an impact. A musical number doesn't have to be obviously sinister like “Be Prepared” or, the holy (unholy?) grail, “Hellfire”, to be impactful. “Mother Knows Best” is bright and filled with false cheer but it still works because we can see the manipulation that Gothel is doing and she spins Raps around in mental circles to keep her docile. This is just an egotistical rant--and not even in a fun, Gaston kind of way! (Sidenote: Gaston is a good example of a villain who is preening and pompous and kind fo campy, but who you see why he’s beloved AND he can be menacing when the scene calls for it). 

Also, it's so full of weird slang that Magnifico doesn't use at any other point in the movie. "Peep the name", "Ungrateful much", "Mmm, are you sure you're not the prob?" It's like he suddenly got possessed by Urban Dictionary. It's bizarre. 

It also comes weirdly late in the movie, which isn't a complaint, just an observation. 

Worst Line: I think "peep the name" is my least fave but, because I already said that, the opening lines of this song are, "I can't help it if mirrors love my face. It's genetics! Yeah, I got these genes from outer space" and that's such a weird thing to say. I got these genes from outer space? He wasn't even there for the star song so what the hell does he mean by that?

6) Knowing What I Know Now: I feel like this is the song that had the most potential. But for all its build, it never builds to anything. It starts and ends so abruptly (which is the case for multiple songs on this list). We don't really get to know any of the characters well except for Asha so them joining the revolution has no impact. The Queen turning on Magnifico really doesn't have much impact. 

(There's a line in this song where a character sings, "I was sweet but now I'm something else" which is so funny because we literally know nothing about her except that she surprises people when she's in a room which, lmao, me too. Fully forgot you were in this movie, girl). 

Worst Line: "The good in him, I've watched it melt". There's technically nothing wrong with this line but I hate it because melting with regard to emotion is never, "Oh, his goodness is melting". It just hits the ear so wrong. You can watch the good in him disappear or fade or vanish. Not melt. Hearts melt. 

There's also a reprise and a credits song but I have talked about the music for too long as is so to sum up, there is not a single song on this list that I will ever purposefully listen to for enjoyment ever again and there are a few lines that I feel calls for someone being forced to go to whatever the musical version of the Hague is to explain themselves. 

MISC

This is just a section for things that annoyed me that didn't fit anywhere else. 

There's a moment where Asha sees Star which is a star that has fallen to earth and is shaped like a star and she's not able to put together than he's a star until she looks up at a ball of yarn that's tangled in the trees and sees that the yarn is shaped like a star...which again, Star is ALSO shaped like a star! Baffling. 

Gabo at one point makes a comment to the effect of, "Wishing on a Star? Grow up Asha, this isn't a fairy tale." And it's like, dude shut up. Your king is a sorcerer. This movie isn't funny enough to pull off that kind of wink to the audience. 

The actual funniest part of the movie is when a talking mouse (not a thing that usually exists in this world) runs onto the Queen's shoulder during a big speech in front of a crowd and not only does no one notice, but she has no stronger reaction than if a messenger was telling her that her dinner was ready. And not in an underreaction for the purposes of a joke way. Like, in a they forgot to write in a reaction for her way. It's so unintentionally hilarious. 

They specifically set this in the real world–off the coast of the Iberan Peninsula–but I didn’t get any of that influence in any significant way here. It could have been any generic island town. Rosas sounds like a Spanish name and “Welcome to Rosas” there is some dancing that looks like traditional Spanish dancing. But on a whole, it feels pretty bland. When I think about studying abroad in Spain, one of the big things I think about are all the moments with food–patatas con bravas, pan con tomatae, paella, and so so much coffee. The only food I remember from this movie are the novelty cookies Dahlia is always baking. Which is wild to me because their last big musical was Encanto and you could feel the cultural influences in every scene and it was seamless. This wouldn’t even bother me if that hadn’t made a point to set it in a specific part of the real world and call it out. 

A lot of the dialogue is super expository in a way that both makes me think the writers think we’re stupid and that they realized at certain points that they forgot to establish things but instead of fixing the script they just shoved in a line. Like, to the first point, there’s a part where Magnifico crushes a wish and it’s very clear that he’s getting a high from it. But instead of letting the moment stand he’s like, “Oh yes. Who knew crushing wishes would feel so good? I must continue to crush wishes so I keep feeling this good feeling,” and it’s like…why did you need to say all of that? Old Power Rangers episodes have their villains monologue less than that!

This movie opens on a storybook–just like Snow White–and it has a voice over of Asha narrating the history of Rosas as the pages flip. Not a bad idea–until you push into the scene and realize she’s telling all of this to…her grandpa? Who is 100 years old and lived through all of this? What? Why not have that scene be a kid flashback and the story is being told to her? Or have her be doing the little kid thing of telling a story to an adult? Either way, that would help establish their relationship which is ostensibly very important to this movie. Or, wild thought, just have her be telling this story to kids! Like Mirabel explaining all the Madrigal gifts in Encanto! Like, if you’re gonna take cues from that movie, at least go all the way so your movie makes sense. 

It’s very unclear how Star’s magic works. It seems like he mostly just gives wildlife the ability to talk. I thought he was just granting wishes but he never does that to any of the humans. And I find it hard to believe that the wish of every animal (and mushroom)  in this movie is just to be able to talk.

Easy Fixes

And all of this is compounded by the fact that this isn’t just any random movie or even any random Disney movie. It’s the *100th ANNIVERSARY*. You only get one of those and this is what they wasted it on. My hopes were really high here! I was expecting a lot of love and care to be put into this one, but it just fell absolutely flat. It feels so rote, so by the numbers, so lacking in care. It feels like the shell of an outline of a movie that relies on the fact that we know what a movie of this sort should be and can fill in the blanks. 

And the worst part? The absolute worst part?

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY EASY MOVIE TO FIX. 

Like, I’m serious. If you watch this movie, you will be able to, off the cuff, name tons of things that would have solved problems without breaking a sweat. 

For instance, just cutting her friend group down from seven to two would have helped immensely. If she, Dahlia, and Simon have a Three Musketeers relationship, then when he betrays her to the king, it actually means something now! 

For a bigger but still obvious change, why not have Asha have an existing relationship with Magnifico? So then this story can be about her losing faith in this relationship she’s had for a long time after she’s seen behind the curtain and become jaded over time and not a 7 minute “Don’t Meet Your Heroes” speedrun.

And making it clear what taking a Wish from a person means–and following through with that portrayal all movie–would all be a game changer. Show that Magnifico’s magical wish granting still leaves the people hollow. Show that Asha is a vibrant, bright person amongst a sea of robotic adults. Show me some worldbuilding! 

Also, just hire a musical theater person to do the music. Seriously I can’t believe I have to say this? How is there not a single good song in this movie? There are DCOMs with more bangers than this. Almost every song in High School Musical is a bop. How are you getting outshone by High School Musical?

And these are just changes that preserve the bulk of the story as is. This movie could have been even better if they’d change the direction to go with some of their scrapped ideas!

This is just a movie that absolutely baffles me. I wouldn’t think it would be possible for a movie with this high of a profile to be this bad. You would think that even accidentally they’d have to get SOMETHING right. But they really don’t. I can’t recommend this movie, even for a fun-bad watch. It’s like eating unsalted saltines while you have dry mouth. Just watch a better movie. And here are three movies I think are more in the spirit of Disney’s 100th anniversary than Wish:

(1) The Princess and the Frog does literally everything that this movie is trying to do but better. You’ve got a movie that used a 2D style in the 3D era. You have integration of cultural elements–in this case New Orleans in the 20s. You have a classic princess story with the classic trappings: romance, villain, fairy godmother. You have a rocking villain song. Hell, you even have a wishing star motif! 

(2) Encanto is the latest Disney movie of the modern era to have that classic Disney magic, imo. It sidesteps a lot of the classic Disney tropes–no princess, no serious romance (Delores and Mariano end up together but it’s very much a side thing), no villain beyond generational trauma–but it still feels musical and magical and full of character and life. It shows that you can keep the big emotions that we expect from Disney even with more modern sensibilities. 

(3) Enchanted is my favorite movie of all time so I’m biased, but I still firmly believe that it stands as a better movie in general and tribute to Disney specifically than Wish. THIS is how you do an homage. The whole plot is a loving roast of all the quirks of classic Disney movies, but it’s also a sincere story that stands on its own. It has references to old movies, but they’re integrated very naturally. And it’s funny enough to get away with things like a character mid-musical number being like, “What the hell is happening? Why is everybody singing?” without it feeling like lazy, “Well that just happened” humor. And the music is so good! 

(A quick note on the music btw: Most of the songs in Enchanted are musical theater style songs but there’s one song near the end called “So Close” which is like a pop ballad. And it totally makes sense why they’d depart from the musical theater style in that moment in context but, even if it was jarring and totally unfitting for the movie, it’s still objectively a strong song. Out of context, it would be a great, sad, romantic song. And if the music in Wish was all like that–good but unfitting–this would confuse me less than it does.)

Anyway, I would shell out a LOT of money for a making of documentary for this movie in the style of the Frozen 2 one because as writer and a fan of a lot of Disney’s past stuff, it is completely beyond my comprehension who a team of accomplished people get together to create the 100th Anniversary project with their vast resources and produce this. It just doesn't feel like a movie with any serious care put into it. Which is separate from quality, btw. I don’t like the movie Raya very much but I think it’s obvious a lot of care went into it and I respect this. Wish feels like a movie that was made to fill some kind of contractual obligation and it makes me sad because I really wanted to like it. 

[newtonsheffield]

Spicy Sunday for the awards au based on the new pics of Jonny at the GQ Men of the Year red carpet?

Alright, let’s round out Sunday right

Kate had felt his presence the second he’d stepped out of his car. From the other end of the red carpet she’d felt it. Her spine had prickled even as she’d put her earpiece in and done her soundcheck the producer in her ear.

“Any highlights I should try and hit?”

“Well, all the Brits are obviously being nudged towards you and given your… banter with him, we’ve been promised Anthony Bridgerton for 5 minutes.”

Kate’s stomach had churned at his name and she’d forced herself to roll her eyes, “He’s an Oscar winner now, surely he’s had better things to do, better people to talk to in the last six months than me.”

“Even so,” The producer tutted, “He’s locked in.”

She heard the whispers go up the second he arrived, the screams from people lining the carpet and she faltered in her interview with Lewis Hamilton, cutting off mid sentence.

“So we’re coming towards the end of your… Oh.”

She caught sight of Anthony, the flashes of the camera mirrored in his sunglasses and his jacket fell when he reached up to run his fingers through his effortlessly styled hair. Her spine shiver as his lips curved in a charming smile as he waved at the people screaming his name and he jogged over to sign whatever they thrust at him.

“Kate, stop eye fucking Bridgerton.” Her producer hissed in her ear, “You’ll get your chance later.”

“Oh god,” Kate cleared her throat, “Lewis I’m so sorry, I got… the Formula one season is about to wrap up, you’re in a fight with Ferrari for second in the constructor’s tell us a little about that.”

Lewis clicked his tongue, “That’s alright, I can see I’m not the most important person here.”

“Kate Sharma, stop trying to make me fall in love with you.”

Kate’s spine shivered at the sound of his voice and her eyes fluttered closed for the briefest second as Anthony leaned into the microphone.

“Lewis you don’t mind if I interrupt do you?”

Kate rolled her eyes, “He does actually; Wait your turn Anthony.”

Anthony put on a great show of pouting, playing it up as people noticed what was happening. “She says I don’t look handsome!”

Kate bit back a curse and said with a little more force than she meant to put behind it, “Good luck, Lewis! Right, Anthony, step on up! Abandoned your other interviews.”

Anthony grinned as he stepped forward, leaning so close, his lips brushed the microphone and his voice came out a throaty little thing, “I’ve not abandoned them, I have every intention of going back, I just wanted you to see me when I was at my best. Thoughts? Feelings? Overwhelmed by my willingness to ah… Peacock for you?”

“I like the suit but the sunglasses are a bit much.”

“I stand by them. And might I say: You are absolutely beautiful tonight as always. Want to see how my heart’s pounding for you?”

“Obviously I’d love to be able to confirm for everyone that you have a heart. Who it belongs to is a little up for debate though.”

Anthony winked at her as he took her hand and tucked it under his jacket, and his heart thrummed under her hand, quick, staccato beats. “What do you think?”

Kate sighed, “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s there. Right under a very firm pec.”

“Do you want to feel my abs as well?”

“I’d love to hear about your new charity instead, can we have a little plug for that?”

She was glad when it was finally done, waving to the camera crew as she went back to the hotel, desperate to get her shoes off. She toed them off the second she got through the front door, letting it close behind her with a resounding thud.

“At least let me take your dress off.”

Kate jumped about a foot in the air when she caught sight of Anthony, lounging dramatically on the sofa, his sunglasses halfway down his nose as he grinned at her. “Anthony! Jesus fucking Christ I thought you were some sort of random pervert!”

“Well, half true.” Anthony got to his feet, tossing his sunglasses down on the sofa. “You never did tell me if you liked my outfit.”

Kate swallowed as she stared at her boyfriend, her arms crossed over her chest, “You told me that you were wearing something boring. That I wouldn’t be distracted by.”

He looked so confident, stood there in his bow tie, one thumb in the pockets of his waistcoat while his other hand ruffled his hair. “Oh, so you like it.”

Kate stepped slowly towards him, something smug flickering in the pit of her stomach that he was hers, even if no one knew about it. She slid her hands up his chest under his jacket, walking her fingers up his chest until they reached his bow tie. She tugged on the ends until it came loose in her hands and she tugged his top button free, exposing his throat. “I know you wore this for me.”

Anthony swallowed and his throat bobbed under her fingers, “That isn’t a secret.”

She let her hands slide down to his shoulders and pushed until he flopped onto the sofa. She tugged up her dress and felt his moan vibrate through her chest as well as she straddled him. Anthony’s hands slid to her thighs, comfortably, the way they always did and she pressed her words into the skin of his neck, her teeth nipping between every one of them. “I liked it very much. I ruined my interview for you.”

“I look forward to seeing that in this week’s package.” He tilted her chin upwards until their eyes met and tension flickered between them, building, even in these scant few moments.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

His hand was still on her throat as his lips claimed hers roughly, and she could taste his moan against her tongue as it tangled with hers. Her hands tugged roughly at the buttons on his waistcoat and then his shirt, desperate to feel his skin pressed against her just like it had been this morning when she’d woken up in bed beside him. His hands smoothed over her thighs, soft fingertips dancing over her skin, setting it on fire as they made their way under the hem of her dress.

Kate’s fingers tugged roughly at his belt and she moaned as she rocked her hips against his, feeling him through the fabric of his trousers over and over again.

“Oh fuck, Kate.” His eyes slipped closed as his fingers curled in the waistband of her underwear and slipped inside, a warm smile spreading over his lips, “I nearly died when I saw you tonight. So fucking beautiful.”

Kate caught his lips again and moaned, tugging his trousers down sharply. “God I wanted to do this so badly.”

Anthony moaned again as her hand slipped over him and whatever clever retort his smug smile was a precursor to died when her hips slotted firmly against his. He tugged her forward again until their lips crushed against each other and his tongue swept over hers as his arm slid around her waist, anchoring her firmly against him, guiding her as she rocked their bodies together.

Anthony’s hair fell in his eyes a little and he leaned back against the sofa, his free hand tugging at the neckline of her dress until her chest was exposed and his eyes watched her hungrily as she moved over him. She felt something smug settle in her own chest then as he watched her, a muscle in the corner of his jaw clenching as his eyes darkened.

Every movement of their bodies made her feel more empowered even as her thighs started to burn and every breath felt like a gasp for air as heat coiled in the pit of her stomach. Her entire body felt as though it was on fire as Anthony’s hand pressed itself against her chest and she could feel herself losing control as he buried his face against her neck, his abs rolling under her hands. His teeth bit into her skin and it sent her hurtling towards the edge, dangling on the precipice. Anthony’s chest heaved underneath her and she could smell sweat mixing with his cologne and her chest felt as though it were going to explode.

“Come.”

Kate shuddered as she shattered in his arms and Anthony followed her over the edge his body shivering under her as his hips bucked and his arm tightened, holding her in place as though she could have moved even if she wanted to.

Slowly, their breath returned and Kate suddenly blinked at him, “What are you doing here?”

Anthony raised an eyebrow, his cheeks still pink, “I’m… your boyfriend? You gave me a key to this room yesterday when we arrived?”

Kate rolled her eyes, still not bothering to extricate herself, “i mean: You’re supposed to be at a party right now.”

Anthony scoffed, “As if I wasn’t going to duck out three pictures in and come back here for wild hotel sex and room service.”

“You’ll have to hide in the bathroom again.”

“A burden I am willing to bear for you.” Anthony hummed, “The mirror in there looks excellent for me to take some sexy little photos for you while I’m on my next shoot anyway.”

[abandonedpost]

My Highest Worldly Bliss: Chapter Two

Pining, a lil’ bit of backstory, and some mandatory filler for pacing purposes later on 🫶🏼

Tw: Minor cursing

——

002 was heaving as she raced back to her holding cell. What on Copper-9 was she thinking?! Talking… to a worker drone?! If the Doctors ever found out about this, she’d never live to see another day.

But, the strange man with the white eyes confused her in a wonderful way. His concern seemed… genuine. Almost as if he wasn’t afraid of her. The thought engulfed her in the same fuzzy feeling that seeing his face for the first time did. She felt her core skip a cycle and the blush momentarily return.

“Snap out of it, Nori!” She whisper-yelled, using her real name now, not the number the humans had mandated for her. As she approached the holding cell she shared with 048, she breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door.

“[And where might you have been?]” The Russian drone was right in front of Nori’s face as she opened the door, looking unamused.

Nori jumped, “Oh my frickin’ god, Yeva! Warn a bitch before you jump-scare her! Nearly gave me a core attack!”

“[You’ve dealt with worse. Now tell me, where were you? You were supposed to be back 30 minutes ago.]”

“I got… held up in the chamber. Passed out after treatment.” She tried to make it sound as convincing as possible, but if anyone could see through her, it was her best friend.

“[You are a terrible liar,]” the taller woman scoffed, “[fine, don’t tell me.]” Yeva turned back around and walked toward her bed, brow raised in anticipation.

“Ugh, it was noth- it’s stupid, okay! Just some… dumb architect guy from the surface.”

“[Uh-huh,]” 048 said with a grin.

——

“You there, boy! What are you doing?” A low-pitched voice rang through the hallway, momentarily distracting Khan from the empty feeling in his core. The pretty lady was gone…

He turned around to tell the human what had happened, “Uh, I finished surveying the damage. As you can see it’s very minor,” he pointed up at the, now fixed, ceiling, “but there’s damaged wiring behind that wall. So I’ll need to come back soon.”

The drone nervously watched the human’s expression, waiting for them to notice his lie and send him to the dump for it.

“Ugh, fine, fine.” The person scoffed, “Just go back up to the lobby. They’ll have to send the mines another request to loan you for the day. Otherwise you won’t get clearance to come in.”

“That’s fine! I best be on my way, good day to you!” Khan quickly disappeared down the hall, a hopeful feeling in his chest. Maybe he’d see her again after all.

——

For the next, god knows how many, days, Nori’s processor actually… calmed down. She couldn’t pinpoint why, but she wasn’t complaining. It was rare for her mind not to show her visions of inescapable doom.

“002, report to the interview room. I repeat: 002, report to the interview room,” came a Doctor over the lab audio speaker

“Ughhhh,” Nori groaned as she pushed herself up on her bed, “screw you!”

Yeva turned and laughed, “[Seems like someone’s in trouble.]” she teased, “[Don’t suppose it had to do with some ‘dumb architect guy from the surface’?]”

“Y’know what? Screw you too, 048,” The violet-haired spitfire replied curtly, “It’s probably because of the scene I caused, storming out and all. That guy has nothing to do with it.”

“[Whatever you say, best friend.]”

Nori mentally cursed Yeva. She’d gone through all the trouble to convince the Doctors not to change her room number, and this is what she got in return.

It was embarrassing, but she couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s incessant teasing.

“Out I go. See ya soon, jerk.”

——

A week had passed, and Khan had yet to be contracted to go back to the Cabin Fever Labs. He grabbed his clipboard every day, flipping through the pages in hopes of finding it as his assignment. And every day, he was disappointed.

The man was miserable. But he didn’t feel it was justified.

“C’mon you big idiot,” he muttered to himself one morning when he woke up, “it was just some random girl. You barely even spoke.”

Khan swung his legs out of bed, and found his task for the day. He silently hoped it was good news, and then scolded himself for being so stupid.

“Great, office work, again.”

——

Nori sat before an array of pictures. One of two Doctors in the room came and cuffed her hands behind her. She resisted, trying to use the symbol to get him away from her, until the other stuck a magnet on her head to sedate her.

“No more… incidents.”

“Bite me! What do you asses want anyway?!”

“No need to get so feisty. It’s only inkblot testing today.”

That surprised her. Just inkblot testing? After all that? She calmed down momentarily, before her tranquility was replaced by an awful, gnawing gut feeling.

“O-okay,” she said with uncertainty, “let’s get this over with then, I guess.”

The first image was laid in front of her, “We want you to tell us the first word that comes to mind when you see each photo in the lineup.”


It looked like the symbol that her processor always showed her; the same one that appeared in her hand at will.

“Control.” She replied so quickly it scared her.

“Next.” One of the voices said. This time, it reminded her of one of the demons from her visions. A tall frame, pinched at the waist, wings that broke out of its back and stretched far into the sky, and a tail filled with some kind of fluid that seemed to glisten, even though the picture was in black-and-white.

“Doom.” Another immediate reaction.

The third one stumped her. For a moment, it looked like… her? No, not her. To the untrained eye, it may have seemed as such, but it wasn’t. Not quite.

“Shorter. No dress? Boots and leg warmers.” She mentally recited as she observed.

They looked like they had on a beanie… and were holding a gun?

And then Nori became 002 again as the visions flooded her processor.

——

“God forbid.” Khan muttered to himself as he perused the day’s paperwork. His office was a cluttered mess. He was a cluttered mess. Papers with scribbles and illegible writing were strewn on shelves, the floor, and connected to each other on the walls with red tweed.

All he wanted was to do something extraordinary. Something meaningful. He’d spent months trying to narrow his ideas down to a single project, but nothing spoke to him. And it wasn’t like the humans ever gave him a day off so he could actually think.

Plus, a certain someone had been occupying his mind lately.

She was all he could think about and he didn’t understand why. It wasn’t as if he was a monk, having never seen a woman before. He’d worked with much of the fairer sex in a professional capacity, so why was she any different?

His thoughts were interrupted by one of his superiors barging in.

“Khan,” they said, panting, “they need you back at Cabin Fever. Now.”

[merrysithmas]

i really like reading your thoughts on "girl"! i was just wondering what you think might happen after paul passes? do you think people will start to examine the relationship between them as something more than just songwriting partners? i mean nothing really changed when yoko said john was bisexual (and some fans still don't believe it!). in my wildest dreams, paul's estate will drop a posthumous tell all book and we'll be left with so many questions lol.    

John himself said he was queer several times - I remember watching an interview with him when he was saying being an artist in a capitalist world requires money and that if he wasn't famous he'd need to have married "a rich old lady or man" to be a songwriter.

He also said he hooked up with Brian in Spain (Yoko confirmed he told the press they did "do it" and she was seemingly applauding his bravery in saying so).

Lennon remarked that he was "afraid of the fag in him" which made him act on his anger and set off his worst most fearsome temper explosions.

Also I think there was a few "tell alls" where past friends reported that he was open about his queerness & confirmed hooking up with Brian in frustration.

May Pang wrote that he told her he considered (lol) an affair with Paul. He spent two years in gay clubs in LA.

Yoko also confirmed he was bi (as far she she knew, maybe later on had he not been murdered he'd have identified as gay or pan).

Elton John said he and Lennon did "naughty" things together and laughed about said things with Sean, his godson. Julian Lennon did an interview where he said he "agreed" that John and Paul were in love during the Get Back film period.

Lennon also contributed a first-person poem the First Gay Liberation book.

Those are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head. He also seems to have had a relationship of some kind with Stu (conjecture) and an obvious-departed-from-platonic dynamic with Paul which is easily, easily an emotionally romantic affair at least (which isn't the half of it).

Anyone who denies his queerness does a great disservice to his memory & the incredible poignancy of his songs in this context during his time period. Artists have been reworking the lyrics and wording of their queer songs to appeal to an unaccepting general audience for commerciality FOREVER and to assume this was not done by Lennon, who is "confirmed" queer (if you needed to hear it from Yoko for it to be true to you) is truly delusion.

I think after Paul has left us people will feel more comfortable analyzing their relationship in a queer sense and I do think at some point it has likely been engineered that something to that effect will be officially announced or endorsed in some regard by their Estates (to generate continued moneymaking lol and interest and enigma). I feel like that's something that could happen, reasonably, after Yoko is gone and her hold on the Lennon narrative is diluted into Sean's POV & the McCartney family has the freedom to speculate or give their personal feelings on the life of their beloved father in retrospect. There's also the chance Paul could say something or leave something to that effect before he leaves us.

I feel like Paul would never say anything otherwise because John never got to endorse any release of their personal history before his tragic and senseless murder in a time period where being gay was still treated with such bigotry and cruelty (the 80s). I feel like Paul's great respect for Jane Asher and their relationship is a testament to this because he has never spoken about their relationship out of respect for her - for the exact reason that she has never spoke publically about it herself.

Paul is a pragmatic and private person and I feel like he knows the majority of the ignorant world isn't ready to hear the biggest band in human history was founded on teenaged homoromantic affection/gay love. But maybe one day, it will be.

This is speculation on my part but Paul also probably doesn't want Yoko to know anything because either she is willfully ignorant or John truly wasn't honest with her and Paul feels it's something she doesn't deserve to know - especially if it's something John kept private & only between he and Paul. It's something he always has that's over and beyond what Yoko and John had & he seems to treasure those specific things no matter what they are. Obviously... Paul still doesn't care for Yoko and he is probably extremely fatigued of the fact that she has been the managing agent & author of John's estate for 40 years (when in the late 70s she and John seemed on unsteady terms as per other parties) and then treated Julian with such disregard. Sean on the other hand seems to have grown to love Paul, but we'll see lol.

I also feel like Paul probably has a few "surprises" for Beatles fans lined up for after he and Ringo are gone - he just seems like that kind of person and wants the Beatles to continue on in great esteem for many many years to come.

thank you for your ask!!

[amberjazmyn]

how did you not notice?🫶

pairing : daniel ricciardo x fem!reader, platonic f1 grid x fem!reader

summary : based on my two prompts: "oh my gosh, eww, you peed on that... wait, are you serious?" and "you fucking peed on that and you made me touch it!", the f1 grid, girlfriends and wives find out that gianna and daniel, are pregnant with their first child.

warnings : fluff, pregnancy announcement, swear words

a/n : decided to write a happy pregnancy one for danny ric after the depressing pregnancy/miscarriage fic that i wrote! i promise this time this one is pure fluff! and reader's name is like mentioned in the summary, gianna <3

gianna couldn't believe her eyes. for maybe, almost close to a month into the f1 season, she hadn't been feeling too well, causing her to have to take certain races during the season off and other times have to watch it from hospitality so she wouldn't feel sick in the paddock. it scared gianna some that she couldn't figure out why she was so dizzy, lethargic, tired and nauseous but it wasn't until she caught up with kelly, max's girlfriend, her husband's former teammate and her best friend during a break in the race season that everything seemed to make sense to the younger girl. 

"...gianna, you okay?" kelly's voice had suddenly come through gianna's ears again and she maintained eye contact with the older brunette

"hmm? yeah, i...i'm fine kelly, just....i...i am so sorry, i'd truly love to stay longer but, i just forgot about some errands i got to run for daniel! can we raincheck lunch for a later date?" gianna seemed in a hurry, rummaging through her purse for a twenty pound note for the coffee and kelly didn't want to prolong her lateness, nodding her head enthusiastically 

"oh, of...of course, babe, don't even apologise! we can totally take that raincheck for a later date! stay safe and, i hope you get better soon!" kelly smiled sympathetically after the girls talked about gianna's symptoms and that was how kelly found out she was pregnant with her little girl penelope, which ultimately got gianna in a sprial without the woman fully realising it or intending it 

"thanks so much, kelly and, i'm always safe, you know that. especially considering who my husband is!" gianna chuckled, her angelic laugh making kelly giggle too as they joked about daniel, gianna's husband, fellow driver and former teammate of max 

"of course, i was just making sure!" kelly called out as the two ladies walked their separate ways to their cars, gianna shook her head as her smile never once faltered 

later on, that day after kelly and gianna had parted ways, the younger blonde walked herself into a pharmacy and bought herself a handful of clearblue pregnancy tests. after her conversation with kelly about how sick she had been feeling and how worried she was, it truthfully now made so much sense that she would be pregnant when she also suddenly realised that during this entire time she had been unwell, she hadn't gotten her period like she was supposed to during the second week of this month of the f1 season. she just hoped to some degree that she was pregnant and that daniel would be just as excited. even though this was a topic that daniel and gianna would have almost daily due to constant questions about it in interviews and things, it still somewhere in the blacklights of her head worried her that maybe, right now, they shouldn't be trying to settle down so soon. 

however, the moment that all ten of the pregnancy tests, yes ten, showed their results, gianna was so relieved and almost fell to her knees. all ten pregnancy tests had come back positive so, there wasn't a single doubt that daniel and gianna hadn't conjured up a junior ricciardo. because they did and the ten pregnancy tests proved all the evidence needed to support that claim. now, all that gianna needed to do was to tell her husband and then later on down the line, tell the rest of the grid and their significant others. with a small pep in her step, gianna decided to buy some infant unisex converse and decided that she'd announce her pregnancy to daniel with a youtube video challenge idea that she had seen her influencer sister do years ago. reminding the girl of how her elder sister georgia announced her pregnancy to her and her family, which was done in the same way.

daniel had very clearly noticed the new pep in his wife's step as he arrived back at the hotel after his day off with the lads. smiling with confusion at the set-up of a film camera, the couch and a box with a piece of fabric that covered a small side opening and then an open opening on the other side, he didn't question it and just followed his wife to the couch. 

"can we film a quick youtube video, babe?" gianna asks her husband as they pull out of a hug and peck each other's lips as he nods his head grateful he hadn't drunk his entire body weight as some of his bandmates had regrettably (but hilariously) had done

"course we can, no wonder why i was smart and didn't get drunk! should i be worried though?" daniel sarcastically said with a wink as gianna giggled after the memory of the last youtube challenge the husband and wife filmed went through her head (yes, daniel was drunk in that last video, hence his comment about him being glad he wasn't drunk this time)

 "not at all, i don't think..." gianna trailed off as daniel smirked before taking the seat next to his wife, a small four-legged chair sat in front of them, the box laid on top 

"...okay, babe, the first item is in the box, are you eyes closed?" gianna smiled as daniel giggled softly as he nodded his head 

"mhm," he vocalised, letting his wife know that his eyes were closed as she continued 

"ok, the fans who are watching the video can see what's in the box except you. so, just, stick your hand in and, feel around, pick it up, and see if you can figure out what it is, okay?" gianna explains as daniel laughs at the slight innuendo before nodding his head 

"o...kay...." daniel trailed off, his australian accent peeking through as he placed his hand into the opened side of the box as he slightly hesitated, flinching his hand before placing it back in 

gianna had placed in the infant unisex converse first because the pregnancy test would have been too obvious and easy she felt and then it wouldn't be so much of an amazing surprise, in gianna's opinion. so, starting off with the converse would act as a good clue to the fact that the shoes are for a baby - meaning that gianna is pregnant without telling him straight away with the pregnancy test. 

daniel chuckled, his head falling back as he felt the pair of converse, "are these like, converse for infants?" gianna sucked a breath in before a small chuckle left her mouth 

"can i pull it out to check?" daniel then queried as gianna vocalised a small "yeah", daniel then grabbed the infant converse and opened his eyes 

laughing at the infant converse, it seemed to gianna that it hadn't registered in his head that it was to announce the news of her being pregnant and the couple being parents. so, due to daniel's confusion she just set aside the infant converse, told daniel to close his eyes again and that she'd put the next clue to her surprise announcement into the box. 

biting her lip and willing away her joyful tears, she announced to daniel that he could place his hand in the box again and guess the next clue. it obviously stumped daniel as, unlike the first time with the infant converse, it seemed as if daniel hesitated in guessing what the item in his hand was. i mean, surely, it wasn't the first time the man had felt or even seen a pregnancy test but, it flew right past his mind because he didn't think he wouldn't notice if his wife was showing the symptoms of pregnancy or recognise that for the past month, they were the same ones that their best friend kelly and the other f1 mum's had when they were pregnant. however, it seemed as if five minutes later, he kind of figured it out since it was obvious that he hadn't noticed his wife's symptoms like he thought he wouldn't have missed.  

"is...is this a pregnancy test?" daniel finally calls out, his eyes adorably crinkled shut as gianna giggles softly as she watches her husband open his eyes and turn to his wife, his hand still holding the test 

"wait, it's been used?! ew, you fucking peed on it and you made me touch it!" daniel freaked out as he then brought the pregnancy test out of the box properly before he decided to take a better look at it after just touching it 

thinking it didn't have an answer on the panel thingy, he looked at it before it registered in his mind what it said. "gianna, are...are you serious?" daniel's voice trembled as tears shed his eyes as gianna smiled, nodding her head with a tender look at her husband 

"are you actually serious?" daniel's chin wobbled as he tried not to cry, gianna smiled brighter and nodded her head 

"dead serious," gianna smiled as daniel chucked the box, chair and the pregnancy test all to the floor as he pulled his wife in for a hug, letting his tears stream down his cheeks onto gianna's shoulder, hoping they wouldn't get a noise complaint from the hotel manager 

"we're having a baby!" daniel quietly sobbed out as gianna giggled and nodded her head, pulling out of the hug as she ruffled her husband's hair before stroking his cheek 

"mhm, we're having a baby, daniel!" gianna confirmed again, knowing that it was going to take a lot of confirmation for daniel to really believe his dream of becoming a father was going to come true 

after another two confirmations of the pregnancy, it seems as if daniel still hadn't cried all of his tears out as he continued to cry in his wife's embrace. daniel couldn't help the smile that was tucked away, hidden by gianna's sweater as she made small, rubbing motions of comfort on daniel's back to comfort him. finally though, thirty minutes later, it seemed as if every single tear that he could have shed, had been cried and the couple were now just coming up with ways to surprise their families and then the rest of the f1 grid family after getting the go-ahead by their ob-gyn. 

💌

a week or two had passed since daniel and gianna had found out about the pregnancy when it had been decided that they could tell their families and everyone else since gianna was now in her second trimester. telling both families, the ricciardos and the saints at the same time was so casual that it actually had such a delayed reaction that daniel and gianna thought they didn't hear them the first time. 

the way they told them was that, because georgia, gianna's sister is a nurse, gianna decided that after being offered wine, because she always does, she'd make a joke about the fact that her sister should know that drinking alcohol when pregnant is a big no-no. hoping that it would give the normal sometimes clueless families that gianna was pregnant. 

"wine, gianna?" georgia offers as gianna smiles, shaking her head no, confusing georgia as it was very well known how in love gianna was with alcohol

"ah, no thanks georgia," the pregnant girl responds which confuses everyone as daniel tries his hardest to not outwardly react or pull any attention onto himself in a way that could further clue everyone into the surprise 

"why? gia, you never turn down a glass..." georgia trails off as gianna decides to just tell her since no one had thought to look down at her slightly protruding stomach 

"...you're a nurse georgia, i thought...well, i'd hope you would know that pregnant women are highly advised to not drink..." gianna trailed off, hoping that both families would react but, it seems as if they weren't at all 

that was until georgia finally realised what her younger sister had just revealed. 

"...wuh...wuh...wait, gianna! no fucking way!" she squealed, almost dropping the wine bottle and rushing over to the other end of the table, pulling her younger sister in for a hug and almost out of her seat as the older sister held back her joyful tears as the sisters giggled, swaying side to side 

despite georgia's dramatic and loud realisation, it seemed as if everyone else was still so clueless that daniel and gianna were pregnant. so clueless in fact that it wasn't until gianna and georgia's mum finally looked down towards her youngest daughter's tummy, noticing the slightly curved baby bump that had been forming but wasn't totally hidden when she then announced out loud in a question that gianna was pregnant. 

"gia, you're pregnant?" mrs saint squeaked out as tears welled up in the mother's eyes, gianna nodding her head as daniel placed his hand on the small of her back 

"yeah, i'm pregnant," gianna confirmed as finally, the rest of the ricciardos and saints reacted in due course making gianna and daniel chuckle at the very delayed reactions of their families 

💌

she couldn't hide the nervousness that was welling up inside her as gianna waited for the moment the wags (kelly, carola, lily z, lily m, luisa, rebecca and alex) realised what it was that kelly was fiddling with. exactly in the way that gianna surprised daniel, the couple were surprising the partners and fellow f1 grid about her pregnancy with the "what's in the box challenge" with the other spouses being told first. 

kelly was extremely hesitant to place her hands inside the box with her eyes closed. due to her being a mother herself with one girl, she was extremely nervous to see what her best friends could be making her touch right now. and having the rest of the f1 girlfriends watching on in anticipation was making her feel more anxious about the item that she was trying to guess. however, it shocked gianna that kelly was so oblivious to the fact that she was literally fondling a positive pregnancy test that would announce gianna and daniel's first pregnancy and not be responding immediately with the answer of it being a pregnancy test. 

"--what is this?" kelly chuckles after nearly fifteen minutes of fondling the pregnancy test and not guessing it, the rest of the spouses chuckling at kelly forfeit

"are you seriously giving up, kelly?" gianna giggled, daniel biting his lip so he wouldn't laugh or again potentially give it away as he stood behind the camera that was filming the video

kelly giggled in defeat as she nodded her head, "yes, i give up, gianna! what is it?" kelly squeals out as she then furrows her eyebrows, her eyes showing a flash of recollection 

"wait, wait, i...i think i know what it is!" kelly called out in excitement as her eyes widened with joy, looking at gianna if she could take the item out, gianna nodding her head 

immediately, kelly yelped out, similar to daniel's initial reaction, the pregnancy test landing on the raised table in front of the group, gianna trying to keep kelly quiet so it wouldn't clue the f1 boys, "oh my gosh, eww you peed on that...wait, are you serious?"

the wags laughed at kelly getting grossed out by a used pregnancy test before it all clicked in their heads that it clicked in kelly's head that it was gianna's used pregnancy test. kelly had since let out a semi-muffled squealed sob, attacking gianna into a hug, the two girls falling onto the couch with the table that had the positive pregnancy test fall to the floor. the other girls' brains were slowly clicking in realisation when they noticed the way daniel was watching his wife and friend celebrate together, the other girls jumped up to pull daniel in for a hug. 

"you're pregnant, gia?" kelly whimpered out as she and gianna stood up off the couch, kelly wiping away her tears as the two girls saw the other girls hug daniel as they celebrated 

hearing kelly say if gianna was pregnant and seeing daniel's joy that they could finally tell everyone made the entire group happy. it was tears and joyus laughter all around for a while.

after calming down and the tears stopped, that was when gianna and daniel had to tell max, checo, oscar, alex, charles, carlos and lando.

similar to how they told kelly, gianna had max guess what was in the box. like his girlfriend, max fondled the pregnancy test for a few moments with no clue about what it was when a couple of minutes quicker than kelly did, he had the same exact freak out as his girlfriend had before him. 

"hold up, is this...is this a pregnancy test?" max chuckled, hanging his head low as he chuckled as neither gianna nor daniel responded at first which seemed to make max freak out even more

"gianna, are...are you pregnant?" max all of a sudden got emotional and teary-eyed, the other drivers still unsure about what was going on that was until they heard the part where max questioned if gianna was pregnant

perking up, lando then asked, "gianna, are you pregnant with you and daniel's first baby?!" lando smiled with the possible exciting thought of a new f1 grid baby being introduced into the world 

shrugging her shoulders, she nudged at max to reveal what it was that he was holding in the cardboard box, "i dunno lando...max, am i pregnant with me and daniel's first baby?" gianna teased with a shoulder shrug as an emotional max reveals the pregnancy test that did indeed reveal that gianna was pregnant with her and daniel's first baby 

immediately, carlos, lando, checo, alex, charles, oscar and then max, after throwing down the pregnancy test, wrapped their arms around their best friend and congratulated her on her pregnancy. daniel then joined them after it was then revealed that girls had already been told too. 

it made butterflies flutter throughout both daniel and gianna's tummies that they were finally getting the blessing of being parents for the first time after it being a point of talking after their marriage. after all the happy tears and squeals and jubilation over gianna and daniel's announcement, gianna couldn't help the jokingly snide comment that fell out of her mouth as she drank a mocktail. 

"how did you guys not notice? i thought danny and i had made it way too obvious for you!" 

fin

when i wrote this for the first time, i didn't like it as much as i thought i would. then i wrote a kian egan version and i liked it a lot better. now that i've done a danny ric version, i think i know which one i like better! and now like i've done the last two times since writing this one-shot, here is some context for the title that's so vague. because gianna is married to daniel and daniel is an f1 driver who travels constantly during the f1 season in the beginning of the one-shot, i mentioned that for some of the season that gianna had been sick. mr and mrs ricciardo then thought that after finding out about their pregnancy and not trying to keep it a secret but not telling everyone, people would realise a lot quicker that potentially, gianna could be pregnant. however it wasn't until they literally had to spell it out for them that they realised she was pregnant. hence the 'how did you guys not notice?' title and comment. because they hadn't really tried to keep it a secret like supposed to so it was just a funny little jab at their friends lol.

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

[specialinterestshows]

Had a lot of fun writing this section of my Rhea Ripley x lady!reader fic!

Warnings for this section: Social anxiety, blood, cannabis (weed)

-

Absolute Smokeshow (Part 17 of ?): The Rhea Ripley Effect

Voices murmured to each other in the dark. You could hardly see three feet in front of you. Faintly, talk-show music started up, as if far away. As it got louder, the lights above you started to turn on slowly, growing brighter with the crescendo. Soon, a cacophony of music and chatter pelted your ears as the harsh lights flooded your eyes.

“Welcome to… The Grayson Waller Effect!” A voice booms, “With your host… Grayson Waller!” Letting your eyes adjust to the light, you look around to find yourself leaning on the ropes at the edge of a ring, a table and two chairs in the middle and what seemed like an unnecessary number of plants surrounding the furniture. The titular host came down toward the ring from somewhere in the audience, microphone in hand. He ducked and squeezed between the ropes, hitting the mic a few times on the way in. You clapped your hands over your ears, wincing at the sound of the feedback.

Grayson Waller waves you over to the seats, sitting down. A groan escapes you, but you find yourself walking through the small forest of plants to sit at the table.

“Hello, everyone! I know it’s going to be difficult, but I need you to take your attention off me for just a brief moment! Instead, I want you to focus on this voracious woman to my right” - he gestures in your direction - “I’m sure you all remember her?”

The audience booed and your anxiety rose.

“Oh come now, you really are too mean!” Grayson addressed the audience, “We’re here to get the inside scoop on Rhea Ripley‘s brutality in the bedroom from her former- sorry, what’s the proper term? Girlfriend? Lover?”

It was suddenly too warm. You lean forward once you notice a microphone at your seat, “Hold on, I’m not going to kiss and tell-“

“Confirmation: there was kissing!” Grayson announced loudly to the audience, to mixed responses, “Tell me, how far did you go? And, uh” - he leans closer to you - “Are Aussies your type?” - a wink thrown in your direction - “Don’t worry, you can tell me.”

The crowd hooted, hollered, and whistled as your face grew ever warmer. How were you going to get out of this situation? Who booked you for this interview?

“I tried to get the Eradicator herself here for the interview,” he continued, not waiting for a verbal response, “but she said the break-up was - and I quote - “too messy” for her to want to discuss it” - the crowd booed and Grayson held up one hand - “I know, I know” - he turned to you again - “Tell me, did you suspect Rhea was just stringing you along before going back to Dominik Mysterio?”

Did you suspect what?

“I mean she said she isn’t even attracted to women, didn’t she?” he kept going, “Were there signs? Should we be expecting a challenge against Dominik Mysterio? When will-“

Your knuckles hit the wall next to your bed, waking you up as you let out a pained whine. Rhea shifts next to you, mumbling something unintelligible. Seeing her asleep in bed made it easier for you to disconnect yourself from the stress dream and come back into reality. You touch the place where your hand hit the wall and feel a cold sensation, like water, on your knuckles. Doing your best not to wake Rhea, you carefully crawl out of bed and into the bathroom. It’s only after you close the door that you flip the switch, wincing at the light that flooded your eyes.

Upon looking down, you see your knuckles are a bit bloody, but nothing profuse. After gently washing your hands, you rinse and try to remember where you kept the first-aid kit. Drying your uninjured hand completely, you open and close a few drawers and look behind several toiletries before finding the kit. The gauze, wrapping, and antibiotic ointment danced in one hand and onto the other as you contemplate your dream. Your subconscious wasn’t even trying to be subtle, was it?

Wound wrapped, you put away the first-aid kit and turn off the light, waiting for your eyes to readjust to the darkness before opening the door. Your heart was still racing a bit from residual anxiety and the alertness that comes from unexpectedly seeing your own blood. Walking quietly to the couch, you pull out your bong and take a seat. The bowl is still half-packed. You light it, watching the embers burn steadily. Clearing the piece, you set it aside, along with your lighter, holding the hit in as long as you could. Once you exhaled fully, you sat up again, wanting to make sure you were in bed and next to Rhea when you fell back asleep. As you crawl back over the sheets, the powerful yet elegant form next to you startles, letting out a sleepy “hmm? Babe?” and moving to sit up slowly.

“Hey, gorgeous,” you whisper, getting under the covers. You plant a kiss on her shoulder.

“You okay?” she mumbles, gently rubbing your arm with one hand.

“I’m fine,” you assure her, “Just a bad dream. Cuddle me?”

“Yesssss,” Rhea responds, pulling the blanket up a bit further before lying down again, arms snaking around you. She pulled you close and kissed the top of your head, knees curling up to meet the back of your legs. The warm breaths that fell on your neck slowed steadily as Rhea’s muscles relaxed, letting her full weight lean on and against you. The pressure was calming and soon you were also drifting off again. The last thing you remember is hoping that if you dreamed again, you would dream of being in her arms, just like this.

[end part seventeen of ?]

Part 18: https://www.tumblr.com/specialinterestshows/724944642506899456/absolute-smokeshow-part-18-of-smoke-you

-

Tag List (thank you!)

@cherryberryshine , @littlemiss-fanficlover , @elisewithak

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

do you have any thoughts you'd like to share about Jake and Bonnie's relationship in the Eleutherophobiaverse? i feel like we don't see those two interact very often, but i'm curious to know what they think of each other. does she just see him as her boyfriend's morose little brother? what is her perspective on his role in the war or his relationship with Tom?

Bonnie's stepping out of work, squinting at the sunlight, thinking of getting a taco or 10 before she heads home, when the phone in her purse goes off.

"Crap," she says tiredly, since it's probably her boss with some kind of breaking news. But she flips it open, and holds it her usual 6 inches from her ear. "Good afternoon," she says, speaking loud. "This is —"

"Bonnie Park, right?"

It takes her a second to place why the voice sounds familiar. When she does, she almost drops the phone.

She's waved to him twice, coming or going from Tom's place. She's heard complaints about his double-dipping a spoon in the peanut butter jar. She recognized him on sight even before the war, the freshman with a locker three rows down from hers who always seemed too distracted to remember his own combination. She watched him bleed, and kill, and nearly die, in hundreds of hours of the footage she edits and sends to her manager.

But this is the first time she has spoken with Jake Berenson. And a part of her can't help the silent scream of excitement and nerves and, yes, a little bit of the fangirling that every zombie tends to do with regard to the Animorphs.

"Yeah, this is Bonnie." Thankfully, her voice comes out normal. Not quite inflected, but normal. "Jake, right?"

"Yes." He takes a breath. "Are you free right now?"

Bonnie looks at the phone, even though there's nothing to see but rows of buttons. "Yeah, I'm just getting off work. What is it?"

"It's Tom."

She closes her eyes for a second. A part of her knew that was coming.

"Would you be able to come by the house?" Jake asks. "It's half a mile north of the mall, first development after the giant Sears parking lot, with the dark red roof that has a board over the rear dormer window."

Bonnie does not point out that she'd be coming in a car, or that she already knows where it is. "What happened?" she says instead.

"I just think Tom could use you right now."

****************

She doesn't ask any more questions, just drives there. At the entrance to the suburb, she passes a cluster of news vans parked at a stop sign. One lady is out and being interviewed on someone's lawn, and two other people are sitting in not-so-incognito sedans a further block in.

Thankfully, the rest of the street is deserted, and when she pulls into the driveway hers is the only car there.

Jake steps out the front door as soon as she shuts the rust-squeaky door of her sedan. He's dressed for morphing in black spandex shorts and a stretched X-Files t-shirt, but Bonnie can't tell if that's a bad thing or not.

"Thanks for coming," he says, like this is a dinner party.

Bonnie considers offering a handshake, decides that would be stupid. Instead she falls into step next to Jake as he turns back to the house. "Something happened with Tom?"

"They moved him."

Bonnie stops walking for half a step at the cold anger in his voice. Then she gets a hold of herself and moves again. "What? Who?"

"Sorry." Jake runs a hand over his face. "I'm not explaining this right. Margaret White's in jail."

"Oh. Oh." That explains the cluster of reporters, at the very edge of the blackout zone.

"Tom was involved somehow." Jake holds open the front door of the house for her; she steps inside. "When the cops got there, Margaret had been knocked out with a dracon beam, the guy she was trying to kill had gone back inside to call, and Tom was... non-responsive."

Non-responsive could mean all kinds of things, for a zombie. But Jake already knows that.

Jake's already barefoot, walking into the kitchen. After a second's hesitation, Bonnie slips off her shoes and leaves them next to the welcome mat.

"And you're not sure what happened, with Margaret," Bonnie says. "Because he's still unresponsive now."

Jake turns back, at the door to the living room, to look at her. "The cops," he says. "They moved him. When I got there he was inside the house, and the scene lead said they'd practically had to drag him away from the crime scene. Her word. Drag."

They step into the living room. Tom is sitting on the couch. He's dressed for morphing too, that horrible skintight uniform in dark red and gunmetal grey. Normally Bonnie thinks he looks like sex on two legs when dressed that way, but right now all she can think is that it was custom-tailored for Visser Seventeen.

"Hi," Bonnie says to him, even though he's sitting limp and staring at the far war. He can still hear them, can still see her if she walks into his field of view. "Jake called me. I'm pretty sure he's thinking of a cop-killing spree, but if anyone asked I don't know anything about it."

"I'm not going to kill anyone," Jake says, so quickly that Bonnie regrets joking about it. This is a kid who really has killed plenty of people, after all, including a fair number of innocent zombies. "They should be demoted, not executed."

"Oh, they absolutely should have known better." Bonnie sits on the armchair across from Tom, looking at him even as she continues talking to Jake. "This is freakin' A-Town, USA. Don't act like you've never seen a zombie before."

"They thought it was schizophrenia." Jake crosses his arms, leaning against the wall. Also keeping himself in Tom's line of sight. "At first they told me they had the whole thing handled, and I didn't need to get involved, and then they asked if 'the witness' had a 'minder' he should be with."

"So they thought you were, what?" Bonnie glances his way. "Just stopping by to... fight crime?"

Jake shrugs.

"And anyway," she says. "Even if it was schizophrenia, I don't think you're supposed to drag someone with that either. And it's still dickish to assume he needs constant supervision. Schizophrenia, PIABS, potayto, potahto."

"Pee-aabs?" Jake asks.

"Zombieism." Bonnie wonders if she should regret saying dickish in front of the kid. In front of the celebrity. But then, he lives with Tom. He's probably heard worse. "We have an official dictionary entry now. Post-Infestation Affective Blunting, and anyway fuck those guys."

"Fuck those guys," Jake agrees. He straightens up, stretching. Leans in a different position. Switches back to the first lean.

Bonnie can empathize with that restless energy, even if she's not a fidgeter anymore. They both know they're doing what they should be — talking calm and level, not putting any demands on Tom but letting him know they're here — but it doesn't feel like enough.

"Margaret White, huh?" Bonnie asks.

"You met her?" Jake walks toward Tom, stops short of touching him, turns to walk back across the room.

"Sure. Seemed fine. Kinda dour, but that's pretty standard for Matter Over Mind."

"You can't know what someone's capable of just by talking to them," Jake says.

Bonnie... does not know what to do with that one. And by the time she comes up with something polite, the interval for a normal response has long since come and gone.

"You want some water?" Jake asks. "Soda? Coffee?"

They're in for a long night, since among other things Bonnie's pretty sure that Tom owes the police a statement. "Coffee. Thanks."

"Great." Jake steps out of the room. He makes a lot of clattering noises from the kitchen.

Tom sits in silence, staring at the far wall. Bonnie sits with him, and moves about as much as he does.

"Coffee!" Jake comes back, two mugs clutched in one hand by their handles. "Here's..." He slips one mug onto the side table, drops a carton of creamer and an entire half-pound bag of sugar from the other hand next to it, and retreats back several steps with his own mug.

"Thanks." Bonnie picks up the carton, takes a cautious sniff. It's french vanilla, which is a crapshoot flavor if ever there was one.

"Don't tell my parents?" Jake says, holding up his own mug in indication.

The former Commander in Chief of the Earth Resistance doesn't want Bonnie telling his parents he had coffee at night. Huh.

And yes, in case anyone was keeping track: she's dying to ask for an interview. She's talking with the most sought-after source on the entire planet, possibly in the galaxy. Talking about coffee.

But contrary to what her mother would say, Bonnie does have some sense of boundaries. And she does occasionally know the meaning of the words not the time.

"Mum's the word," she says, and takes a sip.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Vast!Jon AU Snippet: Getting Heated

Sasha is experimenting.

The Eye is rewarding her.

Why not? She's not hurting anyone.

Right?

-------------------------------------

Sasha is…

Sasha sees the world differently now.

Now that she knows, now that she has a framework that (Explains? Confuses? Ramps up? Simplifies?) codifies everything in life, nothing is the same.

She has forgiven Jon; Elias explained - brand-new baby avatar, an absolutely accidental scare, but nothing she can’t shrug off.

After all, she is the Archivist, and that, apparently, means things.

You will have such powers as I can never dream in time, Elias told her.

And maybe because she just wants to believe him, or maybe because he said this in awe, she takes those words to heart.

What powers, mind? Well. He says she has to find those out for herself. That in the learning, she will grow.

She can do that.

She’s working on it.

Everyone she meets now, she tries to see.

I can’t hurt people like Jon hurt me, right? 

No, Sasha, Elias explained. You serve different patrons, and have very different abilities. Now, those you see clearly will… experience those things they tell you anew - but they do that anyway when remembering to themselves. You aren’t creating new experiences, such as, say, falling while standing still.

She wants to believe him.

She wants to know.

The same thing that drives her to hack her colleagues’ computers - the same thing that has her nosing in drawers or file folders or closets - that thing is blooming wildly inside her like her own perfect garden.

So it was natural to be so curious all these years. So there's nothing wrong with her, after all. Not really.

So. She tries to see. And it is so damn strange.

“He’s already quit, just so you know,” says Tim, pulling her back to the present.

“Hm?” says Sasha, looking away from the neat little old lady two tables down, who has some kind of story that Sasha can sense like smelling fresh-baked bread.

“Danny. He quit at the sports store. Can you believe it?”

“Already?” Sasha baffles. “But he hasn’t even had an interview with us yet!”

Tim sighs with what Sasha thinks of as his Danny Look: it is fond, put-upon, and just a pinch frustrated. 

Sasha shakes her head. “He really does do this all the time. I mean, you said he did, but…”

“The modeling gigs keep him afloat when he’s got no other income. I mean, they could have this instead,” says Tim, gesturing dramatically at himself, “but whatever.”

Sasha giggles. “I think we know look which I prefer.”

Tim grins. It’s a full-toothed grin, eager and playful, and she already looks forward to where it will lead. 

Except that old lady over there, she…

It’s going to distract, and Sasha has had enough. “You sure you’ve got this one?”

“You got the last two. Gotta let me get this check or I’ll cease to be a man.” And only Tim could say shit like that without any real meaning behind it, making it funny, not sexist.

Though she wishes he wouldn't say shit like that, even if it is funny.

She does like Tim. A lot. If only he were a pinch more serious -

That woman is calling her.

“I’ll meet you out front. Girl stuff,” says Sasha.

Tim salutes her and heads off to pay the bill and wait outside, hands in his pockets, positively sauntering.

Sasha goes to the old woman.

The woman is finely dressed; her short, silver hair is neat. Her jewelry is expensive. Her makeup is on point.

She is hiding something terrible, and this close, Sasha feels… strange.

Like she’s losing control of exactly what she’s going to say. “Hi.” She sits. 

The old woman opens her mouth, maybe to protest - then meets Sasha’s eyes and goes completely still.

There is energy between them, flowing, and neither can close their eyes. “Tell me your story, Elizabeth,” she says, thrilling over the fact that she just knows this person's name.

Elizabeth does.

#

Tim waits outside. 

He waits.

He checks his watch.

The absolute last thing he wants to do is rush a lady in the bathroom, so he waits some more.

At the ten-minute point, however, he thinks something might have gone wrong, but just as he turns to re-enter the restaurant, Sasha comes bursting out of it.

She’s flushed. Her eyes are sparkling. She looks…

The look she gives him is, in a word, ravenous.

Tim’s struck dumb. That doesn’t happen often.

Before he can recover, she flings her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply in front of the whole world.

She’s groping him, too.

And he -

Her eyes are open the whole time, and he can’t look away from them, can’t blink, can’t think.

She breaks the kiss. “Home. Now.”

“Yeah,” he breathes, and keeps staring at her, unblinking, as she pulls him toward a passing cab.

[twignotstick]

TMNT: SECOND SHOT - Arc 1, Chapter 5: Old Wounds🩸

<- Chapter 4: Tiny's First Checkup 🩺

Sorry this chapter is so short -u-" it's importante

Warnings (if there's anything I should add here, tell me please!): Flashbacks, small injury, mention of death, ominous speech i guess

Words: 2,291

Summary: Nothing ever stays dead.

----------------------

“Dr. Stockman!”

Baxter was so excited to just get off campus. He had done one too many lectures that day, and dealt with the humbling reality that so many of his students don't take him seriously. He used to really be somebody. Now he was teaching watered down versions of his life's work to kids who didn't have brains developed enough to appreciate it.

He almost got to get off campus, too, but the shout of a redheaded girl stopped him from opening his car door.

With a heavy sigh, Baxter turned around to face the student. She wasn't any of his, clearly. Her ginger braids and bright red cat-eye glasses were too iconic. She was rushing up to him with a chunky, oversized letterman jacket for some fictional school that swallowed the thin girl on and a green backpack thrown over one shoulder.

“Hello, young lady,” Baxter grumbled.

“Hi!” The girl finally got up to him and caught herself before she fell on her face. “You have no idea how glad I am that I caught you,” she said, winded.

“Sadly, I cannot say the same,’ Baxter sighed, straightening his bag on his shoulder.

“Oh,” the girl said, picking herself up. “Oh, I'm sorry, I promise this will be quick.”

Better be, Baxter thought.

“I'm April O'Neil, I work with the school news,” the girl said, taking her phone out. “I was wanting to interview you?”

Baxter was taken aback. “Interview me? For what?”

“I've heard a lot about you from a friend of mine!” April said, opening something on her phone. “I was wanting to write an article about the genetics field, and she recommended that I talk to you!”

Baxter blinked, but finally relaxed and fully started to listen to April. A student, actually commending his intellect? Unheard of.

“Well,” Baxter said, suddenly feeling an air of confidence. “Ask away, Ms. O'Neil. I will do my best to suffice.”

April swiped for a moment on her phone, then started bombarding Baxter with various questions. Some details about himself, his personal life, how he became who he is today. With every answer he gave, April would take notes. Baxter answered her with a smile, but he kept up walls. Any figure of authority surely needs to keep up some level of secrecy, right? April would understand.

Baxter needed desperately to keep up walls.

She asked him about his career, as well as his various accomplishments. She had obviously done some research. The amount she knew about his previous projects was flattering and admirable. The pair settled onto a bench once they realized the conversation was going to last a while. It lasted for over thirty minutes. Part of Baxter wanted to just get up and go home, but being admired overshadowed that feeling.

“Okay, okay, okay,” April said, grinning, “one more question.”

“Shoot away, O'Neil.”

“Have you done any projects relating to making animals more human? Or maybe, making humans more animalistic? And, if you haven't, how do you feel about the concept?”

He felt like he had been shot. It took all of his willpower not to gasp in a breath and keel over then and there. All of his energy was focused into keeping his composure, and it left himself with cotton in his ears and a fuzz at the corners of his vision.

If she only knew.

Maybe she does.

Baxter took a heavy breath, almost as heavy as the memories in his mind. “I have some… strong opinions on that topic.”

April's excited face fell. “Such as?”

The man stared at the sidewalk in front of him, trying to put the right words in his mouth. There were too many words.

Words he wouldn't dare say.

“The world allows many things to exist. Many things that some may see as strange, or dangerous, but have been allowed to exist by whatever cruel force rules this world.”

April had completely stopped taking notes.

“To force something into existence, something that this world did not create naturally, that it does not allow…”

Baxter swallowed, remembering the feeling of glass against his fingers.

The sting of chemicals in his nose.

That stupid syringe.

“It is an unforgivable sin.”

----------------------

‘I wanna go outsiiiiiide,’ the scout whined.

‘No, my son,’ their father squeaked, ‘the human said you should rest, remember? I thought you trusted them.’

‘I did! Then the scary lady came in and yanked my leg open! I don't even know if I can trust the other ones anymore…’ he chirped tearfully, falling over in dramatics.

‘Just eat your pill and get over it, Scout,’ the hunter groaned. ‘Maybe you'll get some bugs outta this.’ He practically shoved the pill down the scout's throat, who swallowed it reluctantly.

‘Be gentle, my son,’ the rat hissed. He looked over to his oldest son, who was keeping a vigil watch over the entryways to their home. They had stayed here for too long, and the protector didn't feel safe.

They didn't have a scout to find a new, safer place. The hunter had tried his best. Scavenger, too.

The protector had begged to help.

He knew that his job was only put in place to appease him. Otherwise, he'd just be a big weight that could get ripped open in an instant. The expendable one. So, he built himself as a glass cannon with pride. It was the least he could do for his little brothers.

When he was given his job, he was young. As soon as he was old enough to understand how much his father was sacrificing for them, he wanted to do the same.

The other boys got jobs when they actually proved they could perform them. The second oldest always had such a knack for hunting, catching food so easily both above and below the water. He was bulky, but knew how to use that bulk to his advantage in a fight.

The second youngest always had an eye for good materials. Even as a tot, he would dig around trash piles that ended up in the tunnels and scavenge out survival gold. This was important, seeing as he could hardly stomach meat and always liked having something to do.

The youngest had proven himself so much. When he was young, the rat was worried that he may always need to be cared for. He was so fragile. Always in so much unforgiving pain. But, his small size and dexterous form allowed him to become the perfect scout. He would scope out every spot before the scavenger ever went. He found them places to stay. He helped the hunter too.

‘Father?’

His second oldest's voice made the rat shake his head. The turtle was rubbing the youngest's head, making the smaller turtle squirm.

‘What is it, my son?’

The larger turtle pinned his younger brother to the ground effortlessly, laying his plastron across the smaller turtle's carapace. The scout squeaked and wiggled in protest. ‘I thought you hated humans. Why are you letting us interact with them so… normally?’

The rat sighed. ‘I am not letting you interact with them. I have watched over them.’ He scurried over slowly to pat the head of the youngest, who had given up his squirming. ‘I want you all to understand that humans can provide some great assistance, but should always be monitored. A human could turn on you at any moment.’

‘How do you know that?’ The scout strained, trying to sit himself up on his elbows and failing.

The protector turned to face the conversation with shadowed eyes. ‘You know the answer to that, Scout,” he growled. ‘We shouldn't push Father.’

‘It is fine, my son,’ the rat chirped. ‘He should seek to understand. That behavior will keep him safer than accepting ignorance.’ He looked to the second oldest. ‘Let him up, I want him to truly hear this.’

The turtle did as he was told, and the scout settled into a seated position in front of his father.

‘Many years ago, I trusted a human too. I knew many humans then, but I only trusted one.’

The small turtle was wide eyed, listening entirely. 

‘Until that human, the human I trusted, promised to kill me. And threatened to kill you all as well.’

The rat paused.

‘But you trusted them? Before?’ the turtle churred.

‘...I did. And I regret that to this day.’

‘But were they a good friend?’

Splinter had to pause and reflect on that question. Was he a good friend? Was that friendship one that mattered? Did he want it back? ‘I suppose I could thank him for one thing,’ he chirped after a moment.

‘What's that?‘

The rat smiled and cupped the turtle's face. ‘Without him, I never would have been blessed with you four. My beautiful sons.’

The turtle trilled happily and enveloped his father in a tight hug. The second oldest moved to his big brother to share the love, nuzzling his face from the side and watching their youngest brother and father embrace. The protector relaxed into the contact. 

The happy scene was drawing the protector's attention.

The red light at the end of the tunnel went unnoticed. 

----------------------

Dr. Baxter Stockman didn't consider himself superstitious. He was a man of science, of facts and principle. He would never jump to pointless conclusions without tangible evidence.

He did, however, trust his gut. And his gut was telling him that student's interview had underlying motivations. The thought couldn't leave his brain, like some creature bound in a maze, searching aimlessly for the food its cruel owner may taunt it with.

Like a… rodent.

He knew.

That is why, when Baxter finally arrived in his home, he felt like he couldn't breathe. The air was too sterile. Too clean. The plain walls that once brought him comfort were only twisted reminders. 

The feeling of glass against his fingers.

Chemicals stinging his nasal cavities.

The buzz of fluorescent lighting.

Squeaking. Growling. Scratching.

“Take the stupid syringe.”

He stumbled to his kitchen sink and forced his head under the running faucet. It was turned to hot, but the water heater wasn't fast enough to burn his face off. Instead, he allowed the cold to rush in his skull through every possible entry. Through his ears, his nose, his mouth, his eyes. He pulled his head up for a moment, processing his delirium, before slumping back down and letting the stream run down the back of his head.

This is ridiculous behavior. She's just a journalist, one who was genuinely interested in your craft!

“This is ridiculous behavior. We don't need it anymore. We never needed it in the first place.”

The fire burns. 

Baxter whipped his head out of the sink violently, hitting his head on the faucet on the way up.

Right. Hot water.

He yanked his steam covered glasses off his face and tossed them onto the kitchen island carelessly. He rubbed his eyes and touched the back of his head, immediately regretting that decision when his fingertips came back red and his skull buzzed.

“If you won't, I've been itching to stomp its tail off.”

He didn't feel anything as he cleaned the wound, slapping a haphazard bandage on it and leaving it at that. The ache can wait until a later time. Something more pressing must be addressed.

“It'll just be one less thing to worry about.”

Stockman moved into his office, caring not about the water dripping from his head. It'll dry. It'll go away.

The rodent skittering in his brain will not. It knows how to hide.

He opened his computer, as the light affronted his buzzing mind. Opening a program he made, a format of his own design, he booted it up.

He didn't consider himself an engineer, either. Software or hardware. But these creatures were his magnum opus.

As the program booted up, a red light appeared on a shelf in the office. Then another. And another. Soon, the room was lit by nothing but the offensive computer screen and dozens of red lights.

The small, bipedal robots began moving. They hopped from shelves, nearly falling over due to the size of their large, toothy heads. They bumped into each other. The room was filled with the sounds of metal clinking and robotic joints.

All of their red eyes looked at Baxter's desk.

Baxter's screen displayed the image they saw.

“Find April O'Neil.”

The drones all beeped at the command. They scurried (much like rodents) and crawled over each other as they escaped Baxter's home to begin their quest. Their red lights covered the city, scanning every alley. Every building. Every corner. Every rooftop. They searched for their bounty.

One such drone happened upon an apartment building. It never went inside, but it caught sight of its bounty moving in and out. It watched her, following her as she went around her day. Sitting outside her classes, outside whatever restaurant she would visit, outside the apartment of whatever friend she was spending time with. It saw the people she spent time around.

It followed her as she sulked into an alleyway. As she hefted up a heavy manhole cover and lowered herself slowly into the tunnel below.

It followed as she turned a corner, coming upon a group of mutants. Three turtles and a rat sat huddled together, the second largest squeezing lightly around the shoulders of the smallest. Another turtle came in from another tunnel, while the drone's bounty entered. The rat glanced at both of the new arrivals. The girl lowered herself and handed a lunchbox over to it.

They're dead. It's over. 

Baxter watched the living corpses breathlessly.

A man sat at his computer, smiling. It was time to finish what he started.

○●○●○●○

Things are happeningggg 😈

Chapter 6: Pursuit of Progress 🌇 ->

[tutuandscoot]

📍Worlds 2017 Post FD

I don’t think I’ve ever seen this moment.. discussed, and as I was watching this comp to make another post recently I got stuck on this moment I’d seen several times, but it hit me in the feels more significantly this time round.

First let me set the scene (which you can go watch for yourselves on the full video here starts at 3:30:40).

Once the competition has finished, VM make their way from backstage under the stands to the k+c/ marshalling area for the medal ceremony. But before that they are to give an interview. A camera person has followed them out to this area and there are a few different people wanting their attention. First, someone from the US fed/team who shakes their hands (says congrats) then one of the competition officials asks them something, then the lady who congratulations them and tells them she will do their interview. They can’t go straight to the k+c yet however because the team who competed last (right after VM), HD are still there (and after a disappointing skate are still being consoled by their coaches). So VM patiently wait off to the side. Then it’s here when this gif starts.

TS only had Marie with them in the K+C, however both Marie and Patch watched their skate and knew they had won- despite not being the last team to skate, they had a large enough lead after the short to essentially render them unbeatable (even with his misstep). When they left the K+C after their skate, they unlikely watched the final team or knew the final result as it pertained to HD, so as they came out for their interview they were probably not fully aware of what was happening in the K+C- obviously they saw they were sad but maybe didn’t know their final placement. Both Patch (and that other coach I don’t like) were with HD in the K+C, so Patch comes from there over to VM.

Now, let’s not kid ourselves, we all would like to admit that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with two men embracing like this- and we’d be right- there absolutely is not. But inevitably just bc of.. society (more so social norms of the past- it’s hopefully changing now) this is not the most common thing to see, and therefore, at least for me and I would assume many others, illicits more of an emotional reaction just bc we don’t see it all the time. It shouldn’t be weird- it’s not weird, but it’s still not something you see everyday.

So with that out of the way… what a truly beautiful moment this is.

I’m not gonna go all on again about Scott and what he was dealing with personally that season (iykyk if not hmu and I’ll tell you/look at some previous posts), he’s said even by earlier 4CC that season he was emotionally wiped, so by now, with the relief of the season finally being done, they had won, there was no needing to hold it all together for the sake of competition anymore. You could tell in the K+C after their skate how drained he was, at least to me it seemed it wasn’t just exhausted from the skate or the misstep, it was a culmination of things.

We’ve looked at previous posts the wonderful way T took care of him in those moments in her own quiet way and just being herself- being there with him was everything he needed (being with her (holding her hand/looking in her eyes) was the only time he felt ok 🥺).

But of course they were not alone in this comeback- and they made sure everyone knew that. The support they had from their team was as important as the support they gave each other, and it’s interesting the different ways that support is displayed- the similar yet different ways between T&S and either of them with a coach.

As I said-in the k+c, he was so obviously drained of energy, emotion, I felt so bad for him but also so proud of him and them for achieving what they did that year, and bad that it wasn’t as excellent as they wanted that final skate to be. Here waiting off to the side, it may be the lighting on his face but he almost looks like he’s about to cry, just so depleted of energy. It may have been that he saw Patch walking over and that was the look of near tears.. The way P seemingly doesn’t even say ‘congrats’ to him/ them. Obviously all skaters/athletes in general have special relationships which their coaches so it’s not like this is whole exchange is unique, but just the way there is communication without words- same thing S has with T but in a different way that is unique to them. The way S almost falls into P, like he just needs someone to hold him up bc he’s so exhausted. P goes to him like ‘here, let me hold you’- that’s what S needed to ‘hear’ in that moment rather than ‘congrats’. Also to see two men embrace like that (& esp when you know the relationship in this case is very special). It’s not a hug of ‘congratulations’ because he doesn’t really need to congratulate them, they don’t need that from their coaches, or more they don’t need it verbalised in that way. They have a deeper connection with them and for P+S, P knows what S needs in that moment is to just be cared for as a human.

I’m so freakin attracted to S for this reason- that he’s so open with his emotions and accepting and giving of affection. Describing him/them often as ‘soft’ isn’t a joke- it’s what they are and it’s an umbrella term to describe their affection and sensitivity.

Then if all that wasn’t beautiful enough, the way T just gently steps back a little to give them space. She is not being excluded, P is of course going to hug her as well, she does not find this awkward. She knows S needs a hug from P and so she gives them that space. I’m really not explaining it very well but I know what it says when I watch it and I’m just hoping y’all reading are getting what I’m trying to put into words.

This all goes back to TS’s just unbelievable level of knowing of one another and now having coaches who they trust enough and want them to be on some sort of level of knowing with them. The way she can be part of that hug without being part of that hug. How they can support each other with out being the one hugged/doing the hugging. The way they are so gentle with their emotions towards each other and create a safe space for each other to feel what they need to feel.

[neon-z]

Curse of 1983

Once again I started thinking about how Rika has been handled by Ryukishi07 in recent Higurashi, and it reminds me of how much I dislike it. My previous rant about Sotsu touched on the issue, but looking back, it goes beyond Sotsu.

Rika's entire character now exists in function of her suffering in 1983. She succeeded and managed to move away from that, but emotionally that just isn't the case. Abandoning everything said in the original story about her just wanting to live in peace alongside the people she loves, now she also wants to move away from them into an unknown world. A large part of her character basically becomes a reaction to the loops. She suffered there, so now she searches for the opposite of that. And that is framed even by Hanyuu (who the narrative pushes as the morally correct answer) as her reaching for her "freedom", with Hanyuu treating with despair a future where she fails to move away from Hinamizawa, like it were a rejection of her growth. But is this really growth?

Rika leaving Hinamizawa, especially to St.Lucia, is framed specifically as a rejection to the loops both in the narrative and even R07's interviews, where he frames it in very superficial ways, like describing Rika's desire for a "western atmosphere" (which feels like a very superficial reason to upend her entire life for something that would only last a couple of years). She ends up feeling like an empty person, whose entire dream is entirely reactive, without anything within it. I've had some people tell me this view is purely negative and I'm disregarding the heart of the story, but like I said, R07's interviews (with the architecture highlight) just seemed to push me more in the direction that this is all empty. While Satoko's loops have no weight on her final chararacter, who is pushed to mature in a "natural" way, Rika is still all about her loops with nothing framed out of that. This is extremely frustrating especially because the narrative tries to frame the conclusion as a happy ending, rather than acknowledging the hopeless state Rika is left in at the end, as someone driven entirely by an empty goal that only exists as a reaction to suffering.

But Sotsu isn't R07's most recent Higurashi work. Right around the time Sotsu was ending, R07 had revealed a series called Higurashi Rei (from Reiwa era) taking place more than 35 years after the original Higurashi. Now, Reiwa is a separate continuity that branches off from Matsuribayashi, but this is still a work with involvement from R07 that he conceptualized right after he was done with Gou and Sotsu. The way he views characters and concepts can be glimpsed and connected through this. So, we see a 48 years old Rika, and what kind of person is she? How did her growth turn out?

She doesn't like staying anywhere for long, and is always traveling around the world. Years can pass without her returning to Hinamizawa. We first see her in the story while she's in the hospital after falling from stairs. The story quickly frames her greatest happiness as meeting the very same group of friends from 1983, to "go back to those times". And, as it turns out, that's everything there is to her life. Her friends dying, even though she hadn't seen them in years, and was mostly unaware of the problems going through Hinamizawa in the last two years, immediately cause her to kill herself and loop again, even though here she only has 3 chances due to magical jewels given by Hanyuu years ago, rejecting a world without some of them.

In spite of being a traveler who has gone through the entire world, her life is still defined by 1983. Unlike the other club members that formed their own families (including Satoko who in this world got over her own relationship traumas off-screen and got hitched to a man, becoming a "lady" of the Kimiyoshi family), Rika is alone and seemingly had formed no strong bonds beyond the club, to the point the death of her friends immediately makes her jump back to looping out of her own will. So, from one side you have her with "freedom", "moving away" from Hinamizawa, in another she's still stuck in the past more than anyone else. Which goes back to what I mentioned before, Rika's freedom ends up framed as just a reaction to the loops, with her entire character existing in service of that. She didn't really grow because her "dream" is all an empty reaction, not something with actual meaning. The narrative takes pot shots at that too, with her being bothered by the children calling her "aunt", or her asking Irie for Satoko photos, poking fun at how she's pretty stuck in the past unlike the others. And yet this same narrative refuses to take any of that seriously. It's all somehow framed as a "happy ending", rather than something seen under critical eyes in spite of the scenario itself that has been written.

This issue of a forced "happy ending" becomes even more obvious when you look at her relationships beyond the club. Rika abandoned Hinamizawa and the Furude tradition, so now they bring outside priests to handle the religious ceremonies and the Watanagashi performance can actually be done by anyone. At the same time though, Rika is still respected in the village and loved by the "elders", which is a status quo that makes no sense at all once you start thinking about it. To start with, the elders that pampered Rika when she was young should be dead by now, these elders in love with her now would actually need to be the young adults from her time. The young adults from the time she left the village and led to various religious reforms. And in spite of all that she's somehow still seen with a positive view, which is weird. Even going beyond the identity of these elders, if they care about the religion and Rika's position within it, it's odd they were fine with her leaving and the Furude being replaced by outside priests. On the other hand, if they don't care about the traditions... why do they care about Rika someone who left the village and did little for them through the years? There's no reason at all. If they didn't care for the traditions, they'd just see Rika as this girl who left them years ago and would have no attachment to her. The whole situation only exists in order to frame Rika's current status quo as a happy ending, so she gets to leave the village, while still benefiting from all the love she had before.

Sotsu tries to draw a parallel between Rika and Satoko, putting them on the same level as Satoko also becomes a looper, but I feel like it falls apart in the conclusion. Satoko's conclusion is moving away from her loops, acting like they basically never happened. Her final development is meant to be basically putting it all aside and focusing on a healthy human life unrelated to all that time she spent there. On the other hand, Rika's entire character in his modern works is based on her own loops and the burden she carries from them - even abandoning Saikoroshi's conclusion where she talked like she'd put all that past behind and live like this world was her only one. Running away from Hinamizawa or searching for new experiences by traveling around the world are all reactions that exist due to her time in the loops, nothing to do with her human life, and yet her character has become defined by that. That's how Ryukishi07 could go from writing Gou/Sotsu to Reiwa - going back to a non-looper Satoko after all the focus she had just gotten doesn't contradict her character thematically, even if you'd think it'd be a huge step back after the development she just got. Meanwhile, Rika is still a looper, and once again alone - just like when she's leaving Hinamizawa at the end of Sotsu leaving everyone behind, while the other main club members are all together. Thematically, Satoko was always meant to "move away" from her loops, but Rika is eternally chained to her loops in 1983, something Ryukishi07 attempts to frame as a "happy ending", even though it obviously isn't one.

[grelitia-fam]

Interview log: Carol Grelitia

>Start log<

Viki: Hello loyal listeners! I’m Viki Vale here with Gothams too news! If you remember last time, I went all out about how the RPG game ‘New hero’s of tomorrow’ is sweeping over Gotham and becoming a huge success. Well, today I’m here with the games sole creator, Carol Grelitia! How are you today Carol?

Carol: Well, I’m honored to be here Viki. I honestly never thought a game I created just as a fun hobby would gain so much traction.

Viki: Well, it has and you’re here right now. So tell us Carol, what inspired you to make this game?

Carol: It’s not really a big or complicated story. We have a lot of vigilantes all across the globes, especially here in the US, and they inspire a lot of people. I know many people want to be like them, but don’t have the ability to be. I’m not talking about powers either, I mean our very own Batman ain’t got no powers. I’m taking about the training it requires to be a hero.

Viki: So, you made this game so people could experience what it’s like to be a hero without the risk?

Carol: Practically.

Viki: Now, do you kind if we get into some more personal questions submitted by the fans?

Carol: Oh, of course not Viki.

Viki: Alright! First question, submitted by user ‘Nightwings thighs’- am I reading this right? … Anyways, Mr. Nightwings thighs asks ‘What is your nationality?’ And gives the follow up question of ‘What languages can you speak?’

Carol: Well, it’s a simple. I’m Swedish/French on my pops side and Russian/Australian in my mums. As for what languages I can speak, I can speak fluent Russian, French, Swedish, and Spanish, and am currently attempting to learn Gaelic.

Viki: Ladies and gentlemen we seem to have a quad-lingual with us today! Moving on, the next question comes from user ‘The_Mitochondria_Is_Ur_Mom’- *Viki does a double take*… Ehm, Ms. Mitochondria asked ‘What’s your sexuality and are you in a relationship?’

Carol: Well, I haven’t really used labels before, but I would call myself pansexual as I really don’t care what gender my lover is. I also identify as Demi-romantic. I need to know someone well before i develop feelings for them. I am also polyamorous and- *blushes*- Currently taken by my two loving partners, who I won’t name for the sake of their privacy.

Viki: Well, it sure seems like you are very lucky. Carols lovers, if you’re listening, feel free to leave a question reveling yourself, if you want to that is, for our next interview!

Carol: N-next interview?

Viki: Of course, there still so many questions, but sadly we only have enough time for one more question.

Carol: Alright. Im ok with that.

Viki: Good! Now, for our last question, submitted by the user ‘BatBurger enjoyer’ asks us ‘What is Carols opinion on the new Batfam BatBurger meal toys?’

*Carol laughs to herself*

Carol: Oh, I think their just swell. I’m actually on a quest to collect all of them. So far I’ve gotten two Red Robin’s, six Batman’s, four Signals, and 2 Azerals.

Viki: That makes two of us. Sadly, we’re now out of time, but we look foreword to seeing you next week! To all listeners, make sure to head to our Website at WWW.Gotham Daily.Com/Inbox to send in questions for our next interview with Ms. Carol here! Speaking of Carol, got any ending thoughts?

Carol: Well, I just wanna say that I’m happy to anyone that’s listening, and I hope you all have great nights! I’ll see you next time.

Viki: You heard the lady! We’ll see you all next week. This is Viki Vale, signing off!

>End log<

( @arkhampsychologist @gotham-its-seven-in-the-morning @gothamstudent @gotham-bitch @christelgothamite @scarecrowspawn @hannahhook7744 )

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me again, Fanfic Anon #2. This one is based on some of the comments Brigitte made about her upcoming birthday during the last few interviews, and the fact there’s a State Visit that basically overlaps it. I feel so bad that she seems already nervous about what the press is going to write/how much is going to be said about it and now there’s going to be all this trip coverage too that could mention it. Anyways, hope you all enjoy my take on a comforting!Emmanuel.

He sighed deeply when he saw the final dates for the trip laid out in front of him in black and white on the schedule and itinerary: April 11-12, what will be too close to April 13 for his wife’s liking.

While he personally loves April 13th because it is the day his soulmate came into the world - in fact, if pressed, he’d say it’s his favorite day of the year for that reason - he knows she isn’t the biggest fan of celebrating her birthday in a normal year. And this birthday was definitely one of the bigger ones.

She had been open about it, how she was dreading the 7 at the start of her age. For a woman who was normally very secure in herself and in their relationship, April 13th always was this big flashing reminder to her of all the things that made her insecure - their age difference and all that comes with it. He could tell she was afraid they were starting to get into the range where that gap would be too big, too insurmountable for him anymore. Even if that fear was completely unfounded - there was nothing that would be too insurmountable for them. They are, and will forever be, two fused halves of one whole.

He had been wracking his brain to try and find a way to reassure her that to him age really was just a number, that he loves her today more than he did 25 plus years ago when their relationship started, 30 years from when they met. Maybe this visit was it, a way to show her, and the world, just how beautiful she is, intelligent she is, funny she is - how perfect she is.

"Chérie," he said that night at dinner, reaching out to grab her hand.

"Mhmm?" she acknowledged as she went for another bite of the dish she had worked so hard on.

"I got the dates back for the Netherlands trip."

"Oh? When?" she asked excited, eyes lighting up a little at the prospect of another trip with him. While she hates flying, she loves seeing the world, making memories, by his side.

"April 11th and 12th," he replied, with a warm smile on his face as he saw hers fall.

"Oh," she said softly. "That’s -"

"I know, chérie, it’s going to overlap with your birthday. There wasn’t any other time that worked."

"No, I understand. Excuse me for a minute," she stated quietly as she removed her hand from his and quickly left the dining room table, needing a moment.

He knew that look, knew she was in her own head about this, and knew he needed to find her, setting off towards their bathroom where he knew she’d be.

Just as he had expected, there she was sitting on the edge of the tub, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she stared blankly into space. Careful not to startle her, he sat down beside her, and wrapped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him.

"What’s wrong?" he asked gently.

"I had hoped to avoid everyone this year on my birthday. Certainly the press. God, I can’t even imagine what they’re going to write now -"

"I can: ‘France’s First Lady Charms Nation with Her Dazzling Beauty and Witty Personality.’"

She snorted dismissively at that, "I don’t think anyone is going to write that headline, chéri. They’re going to talk about how I’m dressed inappropriately for my age, how I’m trying too hard, how I’m too old for you, how I’m too old to represent France."

"Hey, now. Don’t talk about my best friend that way."

"It’s the truth and you know it!"

"It’s not the truth, Brigitte," he said very firmly. "I need you to listen to me, and listen well. You are the most extraordinary woman I have ever met. You are so very, very beautiful. Not despite of or with your wrinkles, or your age, or whatever else you think anyone else would say. You just are so very beautiful. So sure, I’m biased when I say you are the most beautiful woman in the world, because to me you are, but I’m not biased when I state the simple fact that you are beautiful. And very, very sexy. Good God, woman, I can hardly keep my hands to myself around you.

"You are also brilliant. And funny. And witty. And oh, so clever. I fell in love with your mind, and with your kind and generous heart, long before I fell in love with anything else about you - those blue eyes, that smile, your legs! That’s why you’re my soulmate, Brigitte. That’s why I love you more today than I did when we started this relationship, why I love you now more than when I first met you.

"I know you’re scared. It’s okay to be scared. But you don’t need to be. Because I am going to love you more on April 14th than I will on April 13th, and I will love you more on both of those days than I do today. That’s the way this works. So we’re going to go to the Netherlands for two days, and I’m going to be so unbearably proud to be on your arm. I am going to show the whole entire world just how beautiful and brilliant my wife is. And at the end of those two days, on your 70th birthday, the only thing anyone is going to write about is how perfect my wife is and how much I adore her." He finished his speech by pressing a long kiss to her temple, content to hold her for as long as it takes for her to know he is never leaving her side.

Hellooo fanfic Anon 2!❤️

Emmanuel’s words to reassure Brigitte... just so beautiful and touchy 🤧 I just melt. And it’s totally something I can see him telling her 🥰

Thank you so much, Fanfic Anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️